ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 15th March 2022

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

Top 6: Last Calls  Dug the Spud?  Silly Little Poll! Cooking or Cleaning?  Andy the Car Guy!  Am I a Bad Person?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

. Staff drinks. Now look. On Friday. We've got staff drinks and... Well, we're going to the bowling club, aren't we? Yes, we are. There's a new social committee in town. Now, shall we actually bring in the social committee because... Here they are. Here they are. The gaggle of gals.

We can see them. We work with the social committee here at work. Hello. Hello. Carl Wayne at the social media desk, executive intern Anna, and you're in charge. Yeah. How did this happen? We said, is there anyone doing it?

And Ross said, nah, do you want to do it? And we were like, yep. And now we get to boss everyone around. You have big dreams for it too, don't you? You want it to be fun, easy. Yeah. But a big office time. Over by 8pm.

Yeah, suit our busy schedules. Start early. Yeah. I used to work at a place and they'd do $2 a pay Over by 8pm. Yeah, suit our busy schedules. Start early. Yeah. I used to work at a place and they'd do $2 a pay and it would go into the social fund. Oh, what, bloody unions? Ruin this country. Social unions.

$2 a pay. Yeah, what's your budget? How are you getting money for this? Look, it's a little bit of a grey area at the moment, actually. We're sort of just saying to Ross, don't worry. Close your eyes and trust us. Give us your card. Yeah. And we'll sort of ask for forgiveness, not permission at this stage.

I think that's a good idea. So we're going lawn bowls. Okay. And then you're asking if your mum can come. Well, obviously I want to support you. I want to go to the, I want to mingle. I'm new to the company. You know, I want to get down with everyone. But my mum is arriving on Friday morning to Auckland for a weekend together.

And I just feel, you know, that she's great company. She's a good time. She's a fun lady. And I don't want to just leave her at home sitting there on her own. Is it weird if she comes? Well, you're out having fun. Well, I'm out having fun. What's your drinks budget?

Can you afford two Sprouts? Two Sprouts might Oh, you good question. Two Sprouts might be too much. Because also, you know Patsy's not going for this cheap shit. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, Patsy is a connoisseur. Yeah. She's a top shelf, for sure.

Well, maybe she could BYO. How does Patsy feel about a goon? Oh, she'd hone a goon, for sure. Yeah, yeah. She'd do a shooey, for God's sake. But she'd prefer a sort of a whited-upper pinot gris. Okay. So she's more fun than Vaughan, is what you're saying?

She's way more fun than Vaughan. What if Vaughan doesn't come and Mum comes instead? She can totally take my place. Be okay with that. Because I've got woodwork class on Friday afternoon. Oh, my God. Loser! Fletch, Patsy and Hayley.

Why not? The gals. The gals. And we just do wine reviews all morning. Yes. I love it. Yeah, sounds great. Oh, my God.

A little problematic. Vaughan, you're off the hook. Patsy, you're in. Cool, cool. Works for me. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Rachel. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Look at that. He's got a new headphone jack hole. Yeah. Oh, baby. The tech department's been in overnight. Listen to how tight this sounds. This is the headphone jack, which has been loose.

If you've been a long-time listener to the show, you've probably heard me bitch about it before. It's problematic. Yeah. And it keeps shorting out. But listen to this. Oh! Oh!

I can feel how tight that is. Give me one more. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the good stuff. That makes me happy. That's good stuff. That's the good stuff. Let's make sure mine's not...

Yeah, mine's always been tight. Yeah, yours is... Oh, mine's kind of a little bit semi-loose. You should look into getting a new one. A littleloose. You should look into getting a new one. A little bit stretched. You should look into getting a new one. Sure. They'll do that for you.

Wow, good stuff. Yeah. Secret Sound returns 7 and 8 on the show this morning. Your chance to get through. Win the $50,000 cash. Why not? The sound that you can listen on repeat if you just need to

kind of beat it into your brain I don't know that it helps you can go to Instagram FVHZM

is ZM secret sound yeah for all the clues that we've had there I've been listening to it overnight and no

every time I think it's something different now I think it might and... No. Every time I think it's something different, now I think it might be water-based. Water? Yeah. No, it's definitely... It's plastic or wood. You still on your leather buzz, Vaughan? You still think it's leather-based?

Leather or... Pleather. Bamboo or... Leather or pleather. Either of those two things. Yeah, leather, pleather, bamboo. Leather or pleather. Either of those two things. Leather, pleather, bamboo, concrete. Right. I mean, we've got no idea.

Stainless steel. Coral. Coral reef. You can have a guess. All thanks to Neon at 7 this morning. They activated just before the news coming up. The top six is on the way. Yeah, it might be the end of the copper line.

The land line. As a lad that grew up rurally, it's the big connector. The landline. I mean, most people have I mean, you don't have fibre, do you? No, we don't have the copper line anymore either. It's disconnected. Right. What have you got?

Starling. We don't have a landline anymore. Does anyone have a landline? Old people? Marlene, your nan. My have you got? Starlink. We don't have a landline anymore. Does anyone have a landline? Old people? Marlene. Your nan. My nan's got a landline. She recently had 300 metres of brand new copper run up her long country driveway.

Oh, nan. She's living in the 1980s, isn't she? If they're going to turn it off, she refuses to use her cell phone. Yeah. If they turn it off, they just wasted 300 metres worth of copper cable you do all sorts with copper though make some lovely tapware

or make some garden art melt it down some sculptures or you imagine all the shenanigans that'll go on with people just

ripping up the copper wire and they'll be you know pulling it up and storing it somewhere and shenanigans you can make one of those geckos

you know that sits on your fence. Yeah, they're nice. And you put little stone eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Decorate it yourself. Yeah. With a bit of araldite to hold on the...

Yeah, cute. I love a compound glue. Yeah, great crafting. Great crafting. So I've got the top six phone calls, the last phone calls you can make on your landline. Okay, it's coming up. Some classics. Next on the show, though.

One in three people looking for a new job have a bit of a prerequisite. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A lot of people looking for new jobs at the moment, aren't they? We've heard of the great resignation. Get a bit more cash. Get to get more pachingas in this expensive

world. But a lot of people have a prerequisite, and it's based on the last couple of years of working and how we've adapted to it. One out of three, one in three, one third of people say they won't even consider, won't even think about it, won't even think about a job unless they can work remotely some of the time. Just have the option.

That's good. Why not? Most jobs have been proven you actually don't need to be in the office all the time. Just have the option. That's good. Why not? Most jobs have been proven you actually don't need to be in the office all the time. How many boring meetings just got turned into a quick email or a Zoom? Oh, my God. I love an email. Can this be in an email?

You've got to ask yourself before you organise anything. Yeah, every time. Is it because people know they can slack off a bit more at home? Well, people who were surveyed said the reasons they love working from home include more frequent breaks, coffee, snacks. You know, you do a bit of work, get up for a bit, maybe put on some Rachel Ray for the afternoon. See what pasta base this she's whipping up. See what kind of, gosh, she loves pasta. Did you bring in the pasta today?

Oh, shit, I didn't know. Vaughn! It'll still be good tomorrow. I'm not eating your five-day-old pasta. The pulled pork mac and cheese will still be good tomorrow. Vaughn, you said. It's been refrigerated. On Sunday, you sent a picture to the group.

Do you know how a fridge works? I want to make another one for the group. I want to make another one for the group. Because here's what happened. I'm not going five-day-old pasta. Here's what happened with the pulled pork mac and cheese. Yeah. I went around and cut down that tree at a mate's place,

so I didn't barbecue the pork. I put it in the crock pot. Yeah. And that's not a problem, but I prefer. You're a snob. You're a meat snob. I'm a meat snob, and I prefer the taste of smoked pulled pork. Yeah.

Point one. Point two, because of the tree cutting, I wasn't home when it all started to come together. Sade shredded it very nicely, but my plan was I was going to panko heavier crumb. I was going to fry up bacon bits and put it in throughout the panko crumb along with the cheese. I was going to sort of layer it.

So it's a subpar pulled pork mac and cheese. I don't want her because she's a lovely woman and I love her to death. She stuffed it up. But she just followed the recipe. She didn't add any je ne sais quoi. Yeah, right. No flair. Yeah, no flair.

So I was going to, yeah, let me do it again. Let me do it again. It was really good because I don't like mac and cheese. Yeah, right. It's too cheesy. Not too cheesy. There's not enough to it. It's too maccy. Yeah, it's way too maccy. Way too cheesy. There's not enough to it. It's too maccy.

Yeah, it's way too maccy. It's way too maccy. I'm not a mac-mac guy, so I want it to be more about the pulled pork and the cheese. Yeah. With mac providing. Okay. Well, when are we expecting this barbecue? You let me know.

You tell me when. Well, ASAP. ASAP. We've been waiting four days. This week will be nice. What about for Friday? Oh, yeah. That'd be lovely.

You've been being a good boy, though, Fletch. Yeah, I'm not bringing it in. If you're going to be like one mouthful and then you're like, oh, that's enough for me. Oh, that was yummy. But it's insulting that you don't. No, I'll nom that down. I want us to eat it the whole show and by the end be so drunk on pork.

Okay, so for breakfast on Friday, the show is having pulled pork, mac and cheese. Yes, absolutely. And you get a little day off. No, wait. We film on Thursday night. I can't. I'm not going to have the time. Have you been paying attention?

I don't want to slow cook it. You can't do it on a Monday because then we're starting the week off right. Let's just park this and make this an off-air conversation. Are we coming over to your house on the weekend? I think we've got to invite ourselves over. I think we've got to go over to that. We could do that. We could do that.

Okay. And then I feel like it's just going to play part of a bigger meal. Yeah, absolutely. That's fine. Yeah, there'll be other things. Maybe some chicken nibs and stuff. Yeah. And that, man, I'm glad.

And that is how you invite yourself over to your friend's house with a pool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. A pool. Man, I'm glad everybody listening was part of this. Yeah. And I'm sure they are too. And you're all invited as well.

Look, my address. It's easy to find. I mean, look, I've told you what I need to tell you about this survey. People want a new job. That means they can work from home. So they can have snacks, extra time with family. They don't have to wear corporate. Pull pork, mac and cheese.

They don't have to wear corporate clothes. Shoes not required at my house. Sit on the couch, pull pork. Yep. Have a sleep, have a nap. Yeah. Yeah. And probably, yeah, yeah, some personal time.

Some personal time. Yeah. A little five minutes in the bed. Exactly. 12 past six next on the show. I should have opened LinkedIn to get my official, you know, LinkedIn's all about getting a mention in for your business, isn't it? It is, yeah.

And I do have a business. You do it. On LinkedIn. It's, Jesus Christ. I'm not on LinkedIn. It's the one I'm not on. Oh, mate, it's the same. No, same.

It's just a pants down. What would I want from LinkedIn? God knows. It's the Vaughan Smith Incidental Genitalia InDesign Identification Consultancy. This is where someone brings you their new logo. And they say, can you see any problem with this? And I say, yeah, looks like a dick and balls. Yeah.

They really needed my help yesterday. There's been a new case. The latest example of why you should always hire me as a consultant on your designs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the Vaughan Smith Incidental Genitalia and Design Identification Consultancy really could have been used yesterday. Missed out on a big gig, didn't you?

In Australia. You've missed out on some, but you could have saved so much embarrassment over the years. And money. We've talked about this a lot. Do you remember the Qatar Stadium? I do. That looked like a... Volvo. Do you remember the Qatar Stadium? I do. That looked like a...

Vulva. A vulva, yeah. Yeah, from above. That's about to be used. Mind you, if your vulva doesn't look like the Qatar Stadium, don't. They're all different. They're all different, yeah.

Yours might look more like the Cake Tin. Or Eden Park. How would it look like Eden Park? Top's missing. Oh, it's very flappy, isn't it? Oh, wow. That's one way of putting it. Yeah, it certainly is.

And many phallic buildings. Oh, definitely. Definitely. I mean, the accountants know what they're doing, don't they? Oh, absolutely. I reckon they're interns, like fresh out of design school, and they're going, this will be a big laugh. How much money do they have?

Oh, let's do it. Let's make a CMB. Well, I also went in personally to consult with Rangiora, but it was too late because they'd made a skate park that looked like a DMB back in the day. Oh, yep. The two skate bowls at the bottom and a long trick field in the middle. Again, the planners knew what they were doing.

Oh, it was Airbnb? That looked like a pair of testes. Yes. Yes. That logo does. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, yesterday in Australia it was a woman's group. A woman's... I'm just loading up the logo now. Thanks, internet,

for just haphazardly choosing where you want to work. That's alright. Just in your own time, internet. No, that's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

That's cool. In your own time. Have you still got it on your phone? Yeah, here you go. Thanks, mate. I appreciate it. This is the woman's network in Australia. The logo is a W, a curly, whirly W,

and then the shaft of a penis, assumedly, out the side. Why did they need the bullet thing coming off the side? Yeah. Hold it up to me. Prime Minister and Cabinet's new Women's Network, which is intended to promote gender equality, has instead been roasted online because it looks like a penis and then two testicles and even the flare of a little pube at the top.

But even the W you could say were breasticles. They could be breasticles or testicles. I just saw those as like cold. It was cold and they'd gone up inside. Yeah. But then again, they just look like testicles, don't they? Yes. Could be a bum.

The thing beside it. Yeah. Why is it there? It's definitely a willy. It doesn't need to be there. It doesn't need to be there. But what makes that even funnier is that it's the Australian Prime Minister who set this up. And he's, of course, been in the gun.

Well, he's a man. Because he's a man and he's... And this is a woman's network. Yeah. Politically in Australia with all the allegations and everything that he's a man and he's everything that's happened politically in Australia with all the allegations and everything that he's been dealing with and the way that he's handled things poorly. This has just made the icing on the cake, this logo. I'd love to know why the thing on the side needed to be there.

And the thing is with these logos it's not like I designed the logo ScoMo signs it off. It goes through a number of eyes. And at some point you would think that someone goes

don't you reckon that looks like a CMB? Well that's why you need the Vaughan Smith. The Vaughan Smith accidental or incidental I'll take either

genitalia represented in design. It's like, find me on LinkedIn, add me, endorse my skills, and one day I'll be right there to offer my help. Well, you need to post this logo, do a LinkedIn post. Yeah. And do like, you know how they do on LinkedIn and they just give their opinion on things?

Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. I might write that up now, actually. Yeah, good. I've got nothing else to do. Well, no, you do. You've got to write the top six because that's next great idea. Yeah. I might write that up now, actually. Yeah, good. I've got nothing else to do. Well, no, you do. You've got to write the top six because that's next. You should do that.

I also really recommend listeners to just Google logos that look like genitals because there are some absolute crackers. There's one here for a Chinese restaurant that not only looks like a pair of male testicles, but it looks like it's going into something as well. Oh, no. What one? Oh! What is that supposed to be? Oh, it's a temple in the rising sun.

It's a temple in the rising sun. Oh my gosh, but it actually looks like it's straight up. A phallus entering some kind of squishy bottom. That's a bottom. Wow. Very good. This is also a personal fave. The pediatric centre, it's a Oh, wow.

And we all remember the Tesco buttermilk. Yes, that's right. And it's pouring out and it looks like a doodle. It looks like a sort of anatomical drawing. Oh, it's good. Good fun. Always check your logos. The top six is next on the show.

The top six last phone calls you can make on your landline. Yeah, phasing out a lot of the copper landlines. Yeah, ripping up the copper. RIP. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, we all know someone's still using one. A landline. And not through the, what are they called?

Naked? Yeah. Because that was the last landline we had. It was called naked because it came in on the fiber or the internet. With the Wi-Fi. It piggybacked. It piggybacked on the internet. But there are people who just straight up have landlines.

My parents have a landline. And they don't answer if it's a private number. So don't bother. Aaron's parents still have a landline. It's the number one way to get a hold of them. And that rings off the hook. Why don't they get a cell phone? They've got cell phones.

Get rid of paying for a landline. In your parents' mind, cell phones are still very expensive. Yes. And it's just for emergencies while you're out to be reached. Right. Also, my dad was on a plan that was quite an expensive plan. No one from the telco ever rang him and said, this plan would be better for you.

I was like, Dad, you need to change your plan. And it saved him a bit of money, and it's a way better plan. So if you've got actually, this is just a little PSA. Check in with your parents. Check in what plan your parents are on. Yeah. Because no one at the telecommunications company is going to ring them and tell them they're charging them too much.

Oh, no. No. Check your parents' plan. Do you still remember your number from when you were a kid? It's the same number that I've still got. I've never moved. Yeah. I can recall my grandparents' numbers.

Yeah. My best friend's number. Yeah. Those sweet. What was before? Ours was, so rural Morrinsville was 887. We were 562 in Eastbourne. 562 and in Morrinsville was 889.

And Matamata was 888. 570 was the hut. Are you terrible now with friends' numbers? You wouldn't even have a clue what they are because they're all on your cell phone. The only numbers I know are Aaron, Mum and Dad. Yeah. For emergencies. Case will get lost numbers I know are Aaron, Mum and Dad. Yeah. For emergencies. Kaisa get

lost. I lost. Here number. I say number. Well, chorus have said prepare yourself for the withdrawal of the copper network. Yeah, right. Yeah. They're working with people to get them onto, you know, fibre. Yeah, which can still have a landline, but

again, it piggybacks in. But now you've got to convince Nan. This is who I'm thinking of. Yeah. Marlene. She's just had 300 metres of new copper wire put up the driveway. God, that'd be expensive. She also lives in the middle of nowhere, though. It's paid for by them because it was a line that existed and it broke.

So you pay to have the lines and they've got to maintain the lines. It would have been an expensive whack of copper. Is copper still a hot commodity? To melt down and sell at the scrappies? Yeah. Absolutely, yes. I remember I had a shower replaced and then I saw all the copper piping.

I was like, oh yeah, I think you do something with that. And I came back and the plumber had just taken it. Of course he did. Of course he did. Apparently the thing was like finders keepers. And I was like, this is my house. Yeah, yeah, give me that copper back. Give me a cut of the copper.

He'll not go that metal down. Turn it into bars. Well, apparently less than 1% of homes and businesses are dependent on copper. So they're going to start removing it

and you find your other ways to use it. But I've got the top six phone calls to make on your copper line before it's gone. Excuse me one moment. Not COVID. Could be. one moment. Not COVID.

Could be. Probably not. Top six. Last phone calls to make on your copper line. He's got it too. Number six, the Santa line. Oh. Oh, 800-000-000.

Last time we rang the Santa line a few years ago with the girls, it was interactive. Oh, was it? It wasn't the old voicemail. Hello, I can't get to the phone right now. Leave a message of what you want. And it had the chink, chink, chink of the bells in the background. And you'd be halfway through your list and you'd be like,

oh, fantastic. You'd be like, I'm not finished. Number five on the list are the top six last phone calls to make from your copper line before it's gone. Pick up the phone, dial 137, and then hang up the phone. And then the phone will start ringing. And then your brother or sister will run to the phone because they think it's their lover boy or lover girl calling. And guess what?

Nobody's there. Suck it. 137, one of the greatest pranks of all time. It really is. Show me a better home-based prank phone call that's not going to get you your ass kicked. Yeah. Then 137.

I'll wait. It's a goodie. Number four on the list of the top six last phone calls to make on your copper line. You can ring mum's work to ask another question. Oh. Yes. I always get mum was like, you can't keep calling. You can ring Mum's work to ask another question. Oh, yes. We used to get Mum was like, you can't keep calling.

Cooper Aitken, Christine speaking. Hi, Mum. Vaughan, please, you've got to stop calling. I can't find any bread. Have you checked on top of the fridge? Yeah, there's only the ends of the bread left. Have you checked in the chest freezer? No.

Go and have a look out in the freezer. Well, I want to go to the garage. Let's go to the garage. Stop calling me at work. Clank. Ring, ring, ring. I'll go break and go. Christine's speaking.

I can't find any jam. He loved his after school food, didn't he? Yeah. Goddamn, that was good times. You haven't called your mother, your dad again mother You haven't called your mother at work have you No I heard the phone because down in the cowshoe When you pick up the phone it'll go ding

And a little ding off You haven't been calling your mother have you At work she's too busy with that shit Did you have a wind up phone At the cowshoe we had an old rotary phone I remember when we had a specific ring down our road. Wow. Like party line stuff.

Man. And then you got drafted to war, right? Yeah, we went to the war. No, because I had my flat feet. I couldn't go. Oh, you couldn't go. Number three on the list of the top six last phone calls to make on your copper line are 0900 horoscopes. Oh, yeah.

And a number three. Never rang any of those. Oh, no, you copper line are 0900 Hyroscopes. Oh, yeah. And a number three. Never rang any of those. God, no, you never rang an 0900. I did. We used to ring it all the time and it would pop up on the bill because it wasn't free. It was like three bucks a minute.

But I need to know what was happening in the week. I remember there was a Sega cheat line and we got stuck on one level of Sonic and we just couldn't get past the Sonic the Hedgehog level and we rang it and then we got the bill and it was like 15 bucks because we were just on the phone talking to this nerd, God knows where. He's like, what level?

Three. Whereabouts are you stuck? Right at the end. He's like, alright, hold on, I'm going to have to play until I get there. That was how they helped. Really? He had a notebook but he wow, we got so much trouble but got past the level. Number two on the list of the top six last phone calls to make on your copper line.

What now? Yes. 0800 001 001. Never rang. P.O. Box 1945 Christchurch. Always got the overloaded. You didn't ring to do a shout out? No, it never rang for me.

It was always overloaded. It was always overloaded. I always thought it was because I was reading from so far away. I thought the people on Christchurch were getting through more often because they were closer. They were. We just tried an entire whole lot now. It was just spent redialing.

Yeah, same. And then just saying, can I give a shout out to year 12? Yeah. Can I get my name in that big prize draw at the end? And number one on the list of the top six last phone calls to make on your copper line, number one, your grandparents. Go on, last phone calls to make on your copper line. Number one, your grandparents. Go on, give them a call.

They're all dead. Mine are dead too. Copper line to heaven. That's not a thing, Vaughan. That's not a thing. You put your hands together like this and you dial 777 for heaven. Can I please speak to my granddad? That sounds like a scam.

That is a scam. Yes, you can speak to your granddad for 20 cents a second. I'll pay. I'll pay anything. I'll pay with my soul. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hit it.

When you try your best but you don't see... It was at the end of last year. Oh, that was an old one. That was an old pre-recorded one. We just wanted a Coldplay song. Seems we've got a whole pre-recorded segment involving the Coldplay song. It was at the end of last year.

A Waikato couple said, we've had a baby and his name is Doug the Spud and Doug the Spud remember they took it down to PGG Wrights to use their scales

because they weren't sure the kitchen scales weren't doing it right and they couldn't get it to sit on the bathroom scales properly and people were saying this could be the world's

biggest ever potato yeah we rallied behind them we did 7.9 kilograms. Far out. A colossal spud. It's nearly a whole bag of spuds, isn't it?

In one. It is. Yeah. It is. It looked like a, if you'll excuse my language, a bastard of a thing to peel. Oh, man. Oh, very knobbly, wasn't it? Very knobbly and nookly.

Because you guys do that thing where you just peel, peel, peel, peel, peel. If there's even just one little thing, you just like peel, peel, peel, peel, peel until it's level and it's all gone. Yeah, but you've lost like half your potato at that point. Yeah, but I don't care. That's what the thing on the side of the peel is for. I know, but I don't like using it because it doesn't look as nice. I know, and it makes these big pocky holes. Or you could cut the spud.

Because if you're going to cut the spud anyway to boil it, you can't cut the spud at that stage. You just shave the lighter bit off. I would just be peel, peel, peel. Wasteful. Skins are good for you, though. Good fibre. Yeah, I prefer a scrubbed spud. A really well scrubbed spud.

But anyway, Doug, not a spud. DNA testing's been undertaken. Of course it has. When did they say DNA? Well, the two scientists that aren't working on COVID. Ah. Right. Wanted to do something. Of course it has. When did they say DNA? Well, the two scientists that aren't working on COVID. Right. Wanted to do something.

So they tested Doug, who I'm just re-watching the video of. It's wearing a little hat. They dress it up. They dress it up. Look, here's Colin holding this button. Oh, it's a bucket hat. It's a little bucket hat. A terry-toweling bucket hat. Yeah, yeah.

They were applying for... Guinness World Records. Guin little towering bucket hat. Yeah, yeah. They were applying for... Guinness World Records. Guinness World Records, yes. Guinness said, yeah, we need a DNA test, that bad boy. So I'm imagining they took like a quarrel. Yeah, yeah. Like a soil sample. Like a drilling down in the Arctic.

Of Doug. And he's now... A biopsy. Not Doug the Spud. He's Doug the Unidentified Gourd. Now, what is a gourd? He's a gourd. I remember, didn't you hollow them out?

You can dry a gourd and gourds could be dried and used as drinking vessels, which is quite cute. Are they in the pumpkin family? Any of the hard-shelled fruits of certain members of the gourd family are more of a pumpkin than a potato, that's for sure. Oh, dear. Wow. So New Zealand does not have the world's largest potato.

It's got a stupid fat gourd. We've got a fat old gourd. An ugly old underground gourd. Because that's the other thing. They said they dug them up. Do gourds usually grow above ground? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pumpkins and squash are gourds. And also, fruit. A, yeah, got you. Pumpkins and squash are gourds. And also fruit.

A pumpkin is technically a fruit. Seeds. There's the seeds on the inside. But it is the result of a flower. That's another fruit thing, right? Seeds on the inside and the result of a flower. Sad day. Sad day.

Sad day for New Zealand's potato industry. What are they going to do with it now? Just throw it in the trash the rest of the time. I'd probably trash it. I'd probably trash it. You should get a skip. I mean, to be honest, I'd probably put it on the lathe. Would you?

Or would you make that a gourd? Everything I see now I want to put on the lathe. I did my first lathing yesterday. And everything I see now I want to put on the lathe. What are you going to make on your lathe out of a gourd? I don't know, but before when you were talking about peeling potatoes, I was like, you could totally peel a potato on a lathe. You could, but I mean, you're making a lot of mess.

Just have that. Just a light chisel, just a light chiseling. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. There's a hot new fitness trend, guys. Get ready to look silly. Apparently they're saying, they're calling it one of the biggest trends, fitness trends of 2022 okay it is

reverse running i couldn't even say running backwards running backwards dangerous so you remember how like when you do drills and pe and stuff and you run back yeah yeah run forward and like you kind of shuffle back kind of like a warm-up thing before sports. Yeah. So they're saying that this would actually replace your forward running. It would replace your forward running. I can't see gyms being too stoked on everybody running backwards on treadmills. It seems like an injury way to happen. No, they say to start on a treadmill nice and slow and just running backwards because it's smooth and there's no obstacles

because obviously there's some cons to backwards running. I can't even. I'm a bit shaky on a gym treadmill as it is, hitting the sides. And I've had some near misses. Why are you hitting the sides? I don't know. I just get my mind wanders. And then I'm touching the side.

Ever run on a cheap treadmill? Yeah, they're horrible. It's just not made to carry weight in one spot and when you put your foot down it goes scoot. Like any hotel treadmill. Not good. Oh dear. Well, apparently

backwards running, it's less pressure on the knees because you're not so downward. It's lighter. You're lighter on your joints. But it's also not how we've evolved to run. For those that can't hear the stomping in the studio, Fletch is giving it an absolute red hot go.

Can you feel that it's lighter on the knees? Yeah, I guess so. You'd want to do that in a big park, hey? You wouldn't run down the street backwards. Nah, you want a big grassy area, don't you? Well, apparently the more confident with it you get, the more it can just replace your straight

running. People are doing 10k. 10k? What is 10k is the equivalent of? The distance is the same. Yeah, but it must be like 20k's front running. Of energy output. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Calories burned. Yeah, I mean, you're definitely slower. I don't think the Apple Watch has a backwards running function. Yeah, well, come on Apple, step up,

because it's the biggest trend of 2022. They say, the cons of them, so the pros are basically it's way better on your joints. Yeah.

And where you would usually cause injury from basic B-arch forward running, you strengthen it instead with backwards running because it puts all the effort in different parts of your legs. The cons, you look like an absolute fool. Fool.

Yeah. An absolute tool running down the street. And one of these women who absolutely vouches for it, she does 5K of backwards running a day. Wow. What is she? Is she looking, like, fit? Well, she, I mean, yes, considering she's in her 50s. Oh, wow, okay.

But way better on her joints, you see. She looks like a lovely fit woman. She does say she gets a bit of a crook neck. Because the whole time you've got to look backwards. I wonder if there would be some sort of reversing mirror you could have. No, you could get those. You know how cyclists, sometimes cyclists have those little mirrors, like side mirrors.

You could put one on a helmet. Yeah. I've seen cyclists with helmet ones. Then you could run backwards with absolute confidence. And then when you fall over because you've missed a tree root or a crooked paver, you've got a helmet on to protect the fall. Yeah.

It's a great idea. I think you'd be better doing it in a shuttle run in a park if you wanted to do this, right? Yeah, between two lines on a sports field. Because you wouldn't have to look back on a park on grass. But I think to get the benefit of it, you've really got to have a sustained run. You've got to go at least 2K to get the benefit of backwards running, the hottest trend of 2022. I'm going to give it a go run. You've got to go at least 2K to get the benefit of backwards running. The hottest trend of 2022. I'm going to give it

a go today. I'm heading to the gym after this. I'm going to hop on the tready. You know me. I've got no shame. Can you please film it? Yeah.

Okay. Great. Absolutely I will. I'm not allowed to watch this because this will be in the women's gym. Or will it be in the main gym?

I'll come downstairs. Okay. The treadmills at my gym look at a window or face a wall. If you're running backwards, I'm worried people are going to think you're a gym pest. Because you're facing the rest of the gym. Yes. Couldn't be to turn my back on this space. KDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Play ZM. A budget. I've never had a budget. I'm a spender and thus we need a budget.

And now I've got a budget. Last night we did a budget. Did you use an app? No, I did. I love an Excel spreadsheet. It's weird to me that you love Excel spreadsheets and you've never had a budget before. Never had a budget.

So why do you use spreadsheets? I make little plans. I used to do my taxes on an Excel spreadsheet. Yeah. That was stressful. I don't know. I just love making Excel sheets, but never had a budget. Well, you've done a few renos,

so would you make a spreadsheet of all the things you had to do? Yeah, it's what you should do when you do renos. Yeah. Definitely not. You'd just run out of money and be like, I guess that's what we call it. Right. Put it on the market. Yeah. But we are venturing into our biggest

reno yet. We've bought our dream house, and we're going to turn it into our market. Yeah. But we are venturing into our biggest Reno yet. We've bought our dream house and we're going to turn it into our dreamier house. Yeah. So last night Aaron and I and I came home I'd had a bad

night's sleep on Sunday. Came home tired. I had my laser appointment. I was all burnt and sore everywhere. And I just wasn't in

the mood and Aaron's like we need to do this budget. And I was like yeah. And I'd literally said I need to go practice my breathing. I'm working on my breathing at the moment. I'm a hyperventilator. So I was like I'm going to do my breathing. He like, we need to do this budget. And I was like, yeah. And I'd literally said, I need to go practice my breathing. I'm working on my breathing at the moment.

I'm a hyperventilator. So I was like, I'm going to do my breathing. He was like, we need to do the budget. I was like, oh yeah, that feels like the same thing. And I already started off. Oh. I already started off on the wrong tone. He was like, it doesn't have to be stressful.

And I was like, yeah, sure. Talking about money doesn't have to be stressful. Yeah. And especially because like we, basically what we had to do was put down all our outgoings, all our incomings. And all of our outgoings are me. He doesn't outgo. Every single day.

I don't know how he doesn't buy a single thing. Right. Apart from like food and petrol. No, but I'd buy the food. Right. You know, groceries is like a joint thing. So it's all on you. It's all me.

So we'll be putting in outgoings the whole time. I'm just feeling super on edge about the spending. We were like, let's be honest. Let's put every dollar in there and the actual amount. So did you use the previous few weeks as a template for going forward? Yes. We were like, let's just, because we've been living the good life because we haven't started the

renovations yet. We've been very social and going to the local pub, honestly, four out of seven nights a week. So we put input that much into I think it was leisure. Might I, on behalf of the hospitality industry even though I've got absolutely no... Thank you.

I would like to thank you for your support during these trying times. Thank you so... Thank you. God, that feels good to hear. I just feel like someone hasn't said that to me yet. In fact, yesterday it was the opposite. Like, they're like,

you said, can we get the bill? And they're like, yeah. And then you say, is there something you'd like to say? Yeah. Pay for that. Also, your fiancé Aaron was at the pub with you, those four out of seven.

He absolutely enjoys this. So he should be in that column. He's in the column. He's in the spending column. Although we haven't separated ourselves into columns other than like business stuff. Because as I say, there's no need. I am the outgoings. He is nothing.

He just doesn't spend. Yeah. And literally he was coaching me through it. I'm a panicker. I'm a little bit of an anxious person and I literally would input a line and would go, okay, new category. Let's go entertainment. And I'd go

entertainment. And then we'd look through the bank account and I'd put it in and I'd go and he'd go, you're doing so well, babe. That's nice. That's nice. That's good support. You're doing so well. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. That's good support. I know.

And somehow at the end, even though I snapped a couple of times. Right. Not out of any way that he wasn't sort of insinuating anything, but when he was going like, he said like, you know, I think he said something like, don't spend anything unnecessary for the next couple of weeks and we'll see how we go. And I was like, and you will do the same.

And he was like. Well, he's like, yes, please see spreadsheet and previous month's bank statements. But somehow, I don't know, there must be magic in the air. Yeah. We didn't fight. Oh, wow. And we have a budget on an Excel spreadsheet.

Wow. That still has more money in entertainment than it does. Now, what falls under the entertainment umbrella? Like the pub. The pub. Okay, right. I like how you've got an entertainment because pub doesn't sound like. Oh, no, we call it leisure.

Leisure. In our business accounts, it's entertainment. Yes. Because that's the category. For tax purposes. For tax purposes. In our account, it's entertainment. Yes. Because that's the category. For tax purposes. For tax purposes. In our account, it's leisure. And then we had stuff.

Miscellaneous. A bit of money and stuff. So should we check back in two weeks and see how that's going? We're on a two-week trial of the budget. Yeah. And we'll be adjusting the numbers as we go. I was going to say, I reckon we check it in two days. As I had to keep on opening up my bank account

to like check things, like what pay was coming in. We were doing exact dollars. Like what do you get after tax and everything? And I like opened it. He was over my shoulder and I was like scrolling through and then I saw this transaction,

Moochie. And I was like, yup. Get that one out of here. Good luck with that. Thank you so much. Good luck with that. Thank you so much. Good luck with that. Today's sillyilly Little Pole.

Do you prefer to cook or do the dishes? Sometimes neither, but... And sometimes you end up doing both. But I've had a long day and I've still got some prep to do, Sharks. Please don't make me do the dishes. Do you know, I was always taught by my mum, though, who was chief cook and bottle washer at our house, when you cook, have a sink and kind of wash as you go.

Yeah, I know that rules. What you're left with is the end dishes. Yeah, that rules. I do that. Just do it as you go. Chuck stuff in the dishwasher or just give it a rinse. Yeah, easy. You're like an old widow.

Yeah, I am. You still end up technically doing two jobs. Totally. If you're in a house, more than just one. But it's easier to do it as you go. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So do you prefer to cook or do the dishes?

76% of people said cook for sure. Yeah, because you just make the mess. You get the food, you eat it, and then you're done. You're on the couch while they clean up. Are you a messy cook for sure. Yeah, because you just make the mess. You get the food, you eat it, and then you're done. You're on the couch while they clean up. Are you a messy cook? No. Well, no, because he's only punishing himself if he does. Yeah, and he's only making little single microwave meals for one.

Whereas if you... Little smoothies and such. Healthy choice. It's looking after yourself. If you came home and you were in a bad mood with your fiancé, you could just get a spoon of bolognese and just put it on the wall. I could. I absolutely could.

What does the dishes entail? Because our dishes, the dishes often involve unstacking the dishwasher that was previously loaded. The dishes, it's always got bonus tasks. Clearing the table, wiping the table, clearing the placemats. Maybe a mop of the floor. A big wipe, yeah. Clearing up of anything that's been got bonus tasks. Clearing the table, wiping the table, clearing the placemats. Maybe a mop of the floor. A big wipe, yeah.

Clearing up of anything that's been on the floor. Sometimes I feel like doing the dishes is just stacked with extra tasks. I think that's why cooking has won this silly little poll.

Absolutely. By a landslide. Especially at our house at the moment, we don't have a dishwasher. Yeah. So all the dishes, yeah, we took it out.

So all the dishes are hand done. So it's a big task. Cute though, you should do it together. My granddad said that's a secret to a long marriage. Really? Long and successful marriages doing the dishes together. It does make it quicker. It does make it quicker.

And you can talk. About what? About what? How about your day? I don't care. Devin said I clean as I go. So technically I'm doing both. Yeah.

Rachel says I cook. So technically I'm doing both. Yeah. Rachel says, I cook. Partner does the dishes. Sometimes if he's been a dick, I'll use more pots and pans than necessary. That's healthy. Erin said, because I'm a shitty cook, I'll do the dishes. It's the least I can do to say thank you to whoever has prepared a meal. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

Hayley, a different Hayley. There's more than one. That's crazy. I thought it was just a very unique name. Spelt the same. My husband's a much better cook, so I more than one. That's crazy. I thought it was just a very unique name. Spelt the same. My husband's a much better cook, so I'll just do the dishes. Yeah.

Michael says, if I don't cook, we don't have dinner. It's that simple. So people like the cooking. Yeah, it's won by a landslide, isn't it? All right.

Next on the show, with fuel prices so crazy high, although we did get some relief overnight with a 25% reduction. I can't wait till just a generally increasing fuel prices just gobbles up that 25 cents that was just knocked off. It's going to happen so quickly. It'll happen in the next two days. I'll put money on it.

I'll put $20 on it, or as it's now known, half a litre of petrol. We've got a car Q&A. But you know, like hybrids, electrics, what's the deal? Can I chuck 91 in my car that's supposed to run on 95? Surely, what's the difference? I literally had that conversation at the weekend with a friend. Should you do it? We'll find out soon.

We're going to have a car Q&A. Yeah, we've got Andy the car guy in. Mr Bun Buns. Mr Bun Buns, the sluice goose himself. From New Zealand Herald's Driven, this is Company Synergy next on the show. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. All right, now we've got a new intro for the segment,

which has just been made. Haven't heard this. Mm-hmm. Ooh. Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer That's good, that's good. Well, joining us from upstairs from the New Zealand Herald Driven Department. No pressure, guys. The CEO's listening.

He's pretty keen to hear some company synergy. Did you message him? Yeah, I said, you better be listening. Well, let's synergise. You're about to hear some company synergy. Well, we welcome in Andy the Slusko. Good morning. Morning, guys.

Now, you specialise in cars. That I do. You work for Driven. Yes. So you've looked into all this hybrid stuff and electric cars. Yeah, for the last year, it's really been my life after the Clean Car was announced, the clean car free bait system. Yeah.

I've had so many, like I never talk about cars or fuel because I don't have a car. You're a scooter man. I'm a scooter man. I cycle. But with petrol so expensive, I've been having so many conversations with people because it is getting so ridiculously expensive.

It's eating into everybody's living costs. At the weekend, I had a conversation. A friend puts $95 in the Suzuki Swift, and he's like, can I just put $91 in? Because it's way cheaper. Well, I kind of feel with that question. If you have to ask it, then probably not. But I've never

heard of a Suzuki Swift taking $95. It's not a... Oh, they were being overly fancy to start with. Well, yeah, like... Really? It's kind of an octet thing, I can go on for hours on this, but basically some engines are designed for premium, some are not, so if it doesn't say on the cap it needs premium or something just 91

100% if your car's a really flash European car probably 95, right, or the premium yeah, and it'll likely say it, it'll probably say something in German about, like, do not put 91 yeah, yeah, and it'll likely say it. It'll probably say something in German about do not put 91. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 91! 95!

Just like that. Just right by the cab, you'll see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really yally. Right, so maybe what, just do some research online. I mean, I don't want to get people messing up their engines or their cars. Yeah, exactly. But I mean, to be honest, you probably know like, if you're an enthusiast and you go out and buy a cool car,

likely it'll be 95. But if you're just driving a Corolla, then don't worry about it. Have you ever put gas in a diesel car? Because I have. I haven't touched wood. Years and years and years ago. Was it for cost saving purposes?

No, no, no, no. I'm just going to go for the cheapest one. I just went 91 into a diesel car and then I think someone stopped me and was like, no, no, no. I just... I'm just going to go for the cheapest one. I just went 91 into a diesel car, and then I think someone stopped me and was like, that's a diesel car. And I went, yes, it is. And then I had to call someone. They got to drain the whole thing.

Couldn't drive it. Yeah, it's a whole drama. It's a whole drama. So some more questions in that listeners have put to us. Yeah, someone said, I'm thinking about buying a new secondhand car. So not a new car. It'll be secondhand, but new to me. Is a hybrid worth-hand car, so not a new car, it'll be second-hand, but new to me,

is a hybrid worth it? Oh, 100%, as obviously Anna and Carwin have got. The Toyota Aqua, I'm the biggest fan of those things. Also on the most stolen cars list. They are. Well, I mean, that just sums it up. Even the robbers are looking for fuel efficiency. Yeah, I want a random rate of pharmacy

for, you know, two bucks gas. You could be a robber and an eco-warrior at the same time. 100%, yeah. I honestly reckon those Aququies are just, for their price point and how much money you're saving for your, probably the best choice right now. They look so silly though, isn't it? Look at the girls.

They're flipping the bird at me. That's a shame. You look like a little goofball from the future. A little man on his way to Mahjong. With, you know, the pandemic and everything over the last wee while, used car prices have gone crazy though haven't they yeah so is it still worth people trading out their car and getting a hybrid are you yeah yeah i mean like at the at the newer end of the segment like you end

the news used car kind of situation cars are quite expensive so at that point it's almost better just buying you but i mean for like what anna, like she only paid, what, like eight grand for it. And, yeah, it saved her so much money. What about the batteries in these turkeys? Yeah. Because you always hear that was the argument against them. Oh, you need to replace the battery. And it costs an arm and a leg to replace and all that.

Yeah, well, I mean, that kind of came out from the first generation of electric cars where thermal battery management wasn't a thing and the batteries degraded quite fast. Whereas now, like, you've got Teslas over, like, 400,000 k's on the original battery within, like, I think about the window of, like, 70% to 80% of the original state of health, which you'll still get, like, 300, 400 kilometres off it. Wow. Yeah, that came from a point when they were in their very early stages,

that assumption. If I buy an EV or a hybrid, is it going to have that weird display like when I get in an Uber Press and it's got that thing with the diagram? You turn that off. Backwards and forwards. Put a movie on or something. Yeah, it's like, I'm on the engine. No battery, battery, battery, battery.

We'll make up an engine, mid-engine. I think only Toyota do that, actually. Oh, okay, right. I'm trying to remember. Yeah, I mean, most electric cars don only Toyota do that, actually. Oh, okay, right. Yeah, I'm trying to remember. Yeah, I mean, most electric cars don't really have that. Right. No, they've got little, like, screens you can watch Netflix. It's so much fun.

Hack them and watch Netflix while you're driving. Yeah, so good. If you're like me and you're in a petrol vehicle for the foreseeable future, how can you conserve petrol while you're driving? It's just basic stuff. There's no real magic trick. It's like cleaning out all the clutter in your backseat, like carrying on extra weights.

Lose a couple of pounds. Yeah, yeah. Make sure your tyres are pumped up because that's a biggie because obviously drag from an idly inflated tyre. What about holding your breath? Because that's what I do. You know when you're on a long haul drive and then the fuel light

comes on and maybe there's no petrol station for a while it's music off windows down hold your breath well the windows yeah the windows down thing

I don't know the answer to it but I'm under the impression that windows down is actually detrimental because of the drag it creates yeah yeah but the AC will suck some

yeah 100% yeah it's just isn't just a good old pork pie recipe of just taking bottle panels off as you're driving down. Yeah, get a bit of air going in there. What's the deal with the clean car rebate?

Is that ending? No, it's starting. It's starting. Well, so for the last few months, people have been able to get rebates. You get $8,000 back on an electric car if you bought a Tesla. That's why they're just going bananas. But on April 1st, it's when the second phase kicks in

and it's when you'll start to get fees based on how dirty your car or ute is. Oh, no. I'm going to dirty old Land Rover. I don't want fees. So the beauty of this is you don't have to worry about it. If you've got the car, you're not going to pay anything extra. It's just if you want to buy a brand new Ranger

or a brand new Isuzu D-Max, yeah. Gotcha. Right, okay. Is it better to fill up your car once it's empty or keep topping it up? Oh, yeah, because you're carrying extra weight, aren't you? Exactly. Yeah.

Scientifically, it's probably best to keep topping it up, but I don't know. It's a lot of effort, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just sometimes easier. And the peace of mind, just having a nice full tank. My granddad never had more than a It's a lot of effort right? Yeah exactly. It's just sometimes easier and the peace of mind just having a nice full tank. My grandad never had more than a quarter of a tank of gas. Really? Because he said I'm not paying to

haul gas around. Gas was like 90 cents when he used to roll. It's even cheaper. I'm not paying to haul some gas around. I just wait till my car starts to splutter and I go oh we'll pull in. Oh girl. There's petrol stations everywhere. I'll give you a feed.

Petrol stations everywhere. Where can people read more? Watch this. Watch this, Bob. Yeah. Synergy. This is a synergy. What if a bad habit is going to get us all?

I feel like you've interrupted the synergy, the natural synergy by giving it such an intro. We're about to get a bonus for simply being here when this happens. All right. Where can people read more about this sort of thing? Oh, Alvorn, I'm glad you asked. Next weekend, Driven's actually doing a sustainability issue where we cover all these questions

plus more. So you can learn all about hybrids, electric cars, hydrogen cars, all the alternative fuels. This is available online? Online and on print in the New Zealand Herald. Wow! Brilliant stuff there. Company synergy. Great stuff. Boxie, do you want my This is available online? Online and on print in the New Zealand Herald. Wow. Brilliant stuff there. Company synergy.

Great stuff. Bogsy, do you want my bank account number or do you want me to just email it to you? No, he's going to do it cash. Oh, perfect. It's going to be straight up. Do I get part of this? Yeah, absolutely. Hang around.

The chest of cash is coming down soon. Easy. Andy, thank you so much for coming in and answering our questions. Thanks again, guys. Am I a bad person? Am I a bad person? Am I a bad person? We've had an email in, and we, as a nation,

we need to come together and decide, is this person a bad person? We do. We need to take this weight off their shoulders as a collective, a team of five million. Yeah. The email goes, hi, guys, my girlfriend's birthday's in a few weeks and I don't know what to do! We're on a super tight budget at the moment.

I'm also on a budget. I wonder if they've got a spreadsheet like you do. I wonder how much money they've put into leisure. Because we're saving for a house and we're so, so close to our goal. We agreed on a budget of $50 for presents this year. Yeah. Great, you can do heaps of 50 bucks.

But when it was my birthday a month ago, she spent $300 on an amazing gift for me. Oh, no, that's not, that's, that's, that's not. I don't want to seem spoiled. It was awesome. It was something that I really, really wanted, but we do share accounts, so I couldn't help but feeling a little bit pissed off

that this wasn't going towards our shared goal, the house. Yeah, yeah. I didn't say anything at the time. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but now I want to know if I'm a bad person if I actually stick to our agreed budget for her birthday, 50 bucks.

If I match it and spend the same as she did, that's $600 out of our house budget, which to me is kind of wasted. Am I a bad person? Am I a huge birthday Grinch? Well, as a woman, how would you feel if

you spent $300 on Aaron, your fiancé, and he spent $50 on you? Yeah, that's not... I don't mean to sound like a queen, but that's not really that important to me. I don't think it's a gender situation just so much as who's

more serious about the savings. Because there could be wahine out there that are like Shade's a budget sticker and she'll spend and then there's a budget, she'll stick to it. Whereas I'm just like but I really want this. I want a power tool!

And I want it now! Yeah, I feel like you agreed on the budget. I've actually done this before where we've said, you know, we've had a big year or something with Reno or whatever, and we've gone for Christmas, let's just do like a $20 surprise, like something silly from an op shop or something. And then I'll see something and be like, oh, I really want to get that for him. Yeah.

But I never, and I have done it, which sort of breaks the budget, but as I've said before, I'm a spender, not a saver. But there's no expectation that he does the same. What about if they're, you know, we talk about love languages all the time. Yeah. They're a gift receiver. Gift receiver. If they're a gift receiver in their love language, you're screwed.

Yeah. You could take that into account. Gift givers, Gift receivers rather, it's a gift. It doesn't mean it has to be extravagant or expensive. It could be a cute thing you saw in an op shop

that you're like, that's funny. That's cute. They make their day. It's 50 bucks. It's a little clown and you squeeze this thing and his pants come down.

50 bucks, you could get a bottle of shampers. You could do heaps with $50. Yeah. I think I would just, in order to feel like I was on par, or that I wasn't short-changing her,

for lack of a better word. No, I would just put more effort and thought into how I made that $50 work. Oh, you could do the Vaughan Smith coupons. The coupon book. The coupon book. Cuddles. Yeah. Cuddles. Cuddles.

Smooches. Backrubs. Yeah. Tickles. Do you have sexy time ones? No one wants that. I have put them in previously, but the voucher's never redeemed. And then Sade's like, I want to redeem the sexy time voucher.

And I say, check the date. I think you'll find that's expired. Oh, dear. Good. Yeah. I'm a bit of a stickler with my expiry dates. Yeah, she had time. She had plenty of time

to redeem. You gave her 12 months. I would say that this girlfriend, 12 months. Like a gift card. Yeah, six months. I also got a feeling she was counterfeiting

those back rub ones. Yeah. I did not put that. I did not put one in for every week. One in a week. Yeah. I would say that this girlfriend

of yours would be more, will be very happy the day that you buy a house. All right. And won't remember the day that she got a $50 silly present. Exactly. 0800-DARLS-IT-M. We want to ask you now, maybe you've been in this situation,

are they a bad person? It's this bit of a, am I a bad person? Bit of a, what's the answer? Yeah, it really is. What would you do? Bit of a, am I a bad person? But what's your solution? How would you navigate the the answer? Yeah, it really is. What would you do? Bit of a, am I a bad person?

But what's your solution? How would you navigate the sitch? All right, well, the number is 0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text as well, 9696. Are they a bad person for wanting to stick to their birthday present budget? Am I a bad person? Well, it's all about the birthday presents today. Yes, a couple set a budget of $50 each for their birthdays this year.

They're saving for a house. You've got to save. But she blew the budget, and he's emailed in to say, I don't want to blow the budget on this. I want to stick to $50, but does that make me a little birthday grinch? Someone's got the ultimate solution. Yeah? Buy a $50 worth of petrol, because in two weeks that might be worth $300.

That's a good idea. What a great solution. Yeah. Not very sexy though, is it, as a gift? Is that what they call investing? That's what they call investing, baby. Wow. Linda, good morning.

Good morning. Now, what would you do in this situation? Is he a bad person for wanting to stick to the budget? No, not at all. I don't believe so. Otherwise, that would make me a bad person and I'm not a bad person. Are you stick to a budget? You adhere to a budget? I have to.

Like, my flatmate said, you know, we don't buy a lot, but, you know, she's got money. I haven't. And I bought her a cheap birthday present because that's all I could afford. And then it was my birthday yesterday and she bought me 60 beautiful roses for my 60th birthday. Happy birthday for yesterday, by the way.

Yeah, and now I feel bad because I just spent a cheap present and she wasn't supposed to buy me anything. And that's also a very special birthday. Yes. But she bought me a $2,000 mattress for my Christmas and this birthday before Christmas. So it's like, no, you're not supposed to.

But if she might have the hots for you, Linda, I'm not going to lie. She might want to hold onto that mattress with you. The roses and all. Yeah, but, you know, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? You know, whether you spend $50, $100, they had an agreed budget. So, you know, stick to it and buy something nice for the house yeah don't feel bad

Linda thanks you called some messages in I would say a very popular approach yeah it's the thought that counts she might have just seen that and thought

I just want to get him that granted it blew the budget yes but if you can find somebody that's from the you know from the heart

it doesn't matter how much it costs someone said I always get my partner gifts more than he spends on me. But that's just how I am. And I know that's how he is. And he always gets a thoughtful gift. And that's all that matters. It's not the amount of money that's spent.

I'm going to need a follow-up if she blows up. What is this cheap chat? Yeah. What is that? I thought you were going to say a follow-up of Linda and her flatmate end up being a thing. I want a's like, what is this cheap shack? Yeah. What is that? I think you're going to say a follow-up of Linda and her flatmate end up being a thing.

I want to follow up on this side. Linda's flatmate really is treating Linda better than any of us have been treated by our parents. Mattresses and flowers? So to sum up,

not a bad person. Stick to your budget. And just give it plenty of thought. Yeah. I'm a budgeter. Once my husband bought me a gift that was so far above our price set,

I returned the gift. That's a slap in the face. That's kind of win-win, though, because he did spend a lot of money, but then you got it back. Yeah. Yeah. True. Not a bad person.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I found myself gently and very subtly and very short-term offended yesterday for just a moment, but it was enough for me to bring it up this morning. Yeah. As I've been adjusting to these new hours, around about the afternoon my eyes get very dry. Dry eye.

Dry eyes. Dry eyes. Why don't you lubricate your eyes? Well, this was the problem. I didn't have any eye lube. You didn't have any lube left. I didn't have any lube. But my eyes don't get dry.

It's because you wear glasses. Yours are dead, though. You've got dead eyes. You've lost all life behind them, but moist. Yeah, good. Moist eyes. Yeah, I don't know if the glasses help or not. You don't wear contacts?

No, I don't wear contacts. Do you both have perfect 20-20 vision? I've got perfect vision. I've got perfect vision. I've got great vision. I can see signs ages away. What does that say? I can't read it, but it's because it's pixelated. Anyway, so I was like

I need, on my little to-do list, buy eye drops. It's been there for so long. And yesterday I was killing some time and I saw the chemist. I was like, great, I'll go get these eye drops. And I was looking around and I was wandering and meandering around the chemist because I had a lot of time to kill. So I was like, maybe I'll get some skincare. Maybe I'll get some Chariza.

And I was looking up the shelves and then the pharmacist was like, can I help you with anything? And I was like, no, thank you. Oh, actually, eye drops. And he goes, yeah, over here. And he did a little scoff and a little smile. Like an eye roll? Yeah, like a, okay, yeah, over this way.

And I was like, what's that about? And then I was looking at the eye drops and I saw, what's the classic one? Obtrix. Dry eyes. Dry eyes. Dry eyes for red eyes. And I was like, oh, he thinks I'm a stoner.

I was like, he absolutely thinks I'm a stoner because one, I'm in here with too much time on my hands and I'm moving very slowly looking at the shelves, not buying anything Clear Eyes Clear Eyes, thank you I remember it from high school Did you show me what it is?

Yeah he did, yeah How does he know? He's got a puddle everywhere of that stuff A little gardener But then I felt when I was like Oh no, he thinks I'm a stoner and I'm 32 and I'm in the middle of the day. And so I, like, picked the one and I made sure it wasn't,

I made sure it didn't say anything about red eyes. Red eyes, yeah. I made sure it was, like, just lubricant, like hydration. And then I took it up and then I found myself really trying to show him how alert I was. So you went from possible weed smoker to definite meth addict. Pee-finged meth addict. He fanged. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

I was trying to give him these big, bright eyes and showing him that I wasn't under the influence of anything. And yeah, it came across rather psychotic in the end. I couldn't believe it. What was the meth ingredient that you spent? Pseudoephedrine. Pseudoephedrine. Yeah. Before that got banned.

And cold and flu medication. Yeah. I mean, this is the time we were living in. 2009, was it? The swine flu outbreak? One of those classic little cute flus. Yeah, that never did anything. That didn't come to much.

I was told, I went to the doctor, and he was like, you just need to hang at home for a bit because you might have swine flu. It was a possibility. I was like, I don't know where I would have got that from. I haven't kissed a pig in a long time. And he's like, just go home. You're delirious.

That wasn't funny at all. And I went to the pharmacy and I said, can I have some of the good stuff? Pseudo-ephedrine. And I was, I'd just done Jenny Craig, so I was slim. Slim Jim. And absolutely drawn out

because I had the flu and I'm asking for the good stuff ghostly white he's like there's this and I was like no what's that I need that

I need that ingredient that's really gonna knock us on the head and he was like okay mate how often how often do you get that

I was like I've never had it before in my life I had to fill out everything he wanted a copy out my driver's license and even then he still gave me the knock off stuff. Yeah, I get really offended when they ask for your details

at the pharmacy. I know. It's like, what do you think? I'm sick. Give it to me. I've got a black mark of Voltaren here. I think I had to get some for like some. Voltaren and details leave behind thing. The real strong one is. And's the strong stuff. What's a Voltaren? And also the really strong conjunctivitis eye drops once.

And he was like, I've got to get your details. I was like, you can see my gunky eye, mate. I'm not going to melt this down for me. What's in your... I've got to have a little mix of this conjunctivitis Voltaren. This sounds like a hot weekend. I've got to say though, pseudo-epidurite absolutely knocks you for six. I was marching in Edinburgh one year and I got like a flu off the plane.

And I went, and they still have pseudoephedrine in the UK. I absolutely brought some home. If you want any. And I had some pseudoephedrine, like cold tablets, and some cough mixture. I went to sleep. I woke up high as a kite. Wow. I was like, oh, no.

And I had to march. This is why they ask for was like, oh no. And it's a march. This is why they ask for your details, Bailey. This is why they do. Yeah. I'll tell you what, it was a feeling like no other. Is this the Voltaren? Oh, maybe.

I don't know. Diclofenac. Yeah. Yes. What's that? I've heard that before. Yeah, I don't know. It's inflammation.

I had that with my back recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Diclofenac, diethylethylamine. Well, they're keeping an eye on you now. You're on a watch list, and apparently you're on a chemist's watch list as well. And I always go into the chemist's warehouse. I'm just drawn in there.

You know what's yellow, isn't it? You're like a bee. A bee to a flower, yeah. And the scent as well. It's the scent of the chemist's warehouse. J-Lo glow. I'm in for that J-Lo glow, baby. I went into the chemist's warehouse at the weekend.

This is my question. How much is Dan Carter getting paid? How much is he an honour? How much are he an honour making? A fortune. A small fortune. A small fortune. My dream job is I retire from here sometime

and I get a job on chemist's warehouse radio. Do you think they pay you anything? I always imagine there's a DJ sitting out the back. Yep. Oh, there is. Each store has a DJ. In a small recording booth. Yep.

Working at Chemist Warehouse Radio. And at lunchtime, he talks to the hover pharmacists out the back. Because pharmacists don't have legs. No, they hop off. No, when you get your pharmacy degree, they wop off your legs. And you hop off.

And you get a hoverboard. Little jets. And you zzzz. Medication ready for Smith. Zzzz. Pack, pack, pack, pack, pack, pack. Sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort. Hover, hover, hover, hover, hover, hover, hover.

My brother's a pharmacist. I feel like you've had a bit of pseudo-ephedrine right now Just looking up these drugs' names That's how they pay you at Chemist Warehouse Radio A pseudo-ephedrine Imagine if you had a superpower But your superpower was when you saw drugs written down It immediately affected you

You experienced that In that way What a terrible superpower. Yeah. All the enemy would have to do would be hold up, like, extra strength nightcrawler, and you're like, how dare you? Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. They bought concerts. Do you remember those? Loved them. Large amounts of people in a confined space. Yeah, sweating, dancing, singing, spitting I actually saw friends in Sydney At the weekend at an outdoor concert

I was like, what? They've moved on Foo Fighters played in Melbourne the other day My sister-in-law was there Like shoulder to shoulder with strangers Surely we're a few months away from concerts, right? Yeah, I reckon Yes

Well, I mean a lot of concerts planned for the coming year and months, but there has been an increase in America of phone-free concerts. And this has raised some debate online. How do we feel about that? How do they monitor it? So, they can either... At high school, you put your phone into a basket at the front? They can either ban you from bringing them in

and take them at the door, but there are actually... No, there's the logistics of that. You get lost. Yeah, there's a service called Yonda, which started in 2014 and it's becoming increasingly popular. You put your phone into a pouch and it seals it with a magnetic lock like a security device on clothes. Wow.

So it needs a special device to open it. So if you did want to use your phone, you'd probably have to go out to like a coat check or a phone check and unlock it. Yeah, it is kind of hard, isn't it? During a concert, it's in the pouch. I think it's a black pouch. You can't get into your phone.

Right. As long as they don't start to video the stage and their flashlight comes on and they're right behind you or right in front of you, unless they're like, oh, and are so embarrassed they immediately turn it off. I don't care if people are videoing. They'll never watch that video again.

But you do go like that thing where you see people at concerts and it's just screens and screens and screens and screens and screens. And then the artist is right in front of them and no one's actually watching them. I only tend to watch concerts from the Queen's Boxer side of stage. Oh, right. The VIP side of stage. Yeah, I'm kind of above.

I'll stop short of calling you a plebs. You don't even go to concerts. Right, groundlings. Like Shakespeare's Day, they used to have the royalty on the stage. That's exactly where I would prefer to sit. They had the worst view of the production, but everyone had the best view of them.

Right. That's you. So, I mean, how do we feel? Because you never watch those videos that you take, do you, ever? Well, I actually revisited some the other day. I went to Queen and Adam Lambert three years ago, I think, and I took a few videos of some fave moments

to share with my dad and my partner. And I watched them the other day for the first time. Was it good sound? Terrible. I know, because it's always terrible sound. It's hard to even work out what song it is, especially if it's like rock music. There's people in front of you with arms and cameras in the way.

I know, and I'm one of them. Yeah. Well, we put it on our social media, asked you, should phones be banned from concerts? 58% of people say nah, don't ban them. Yeah, right. 42%, which is a lot, say yes, you should ban them. That's quite a lot.

I'd love to know, though, if the 42% of people that said yes, you should ban them from concerts, still film at concerts. Like me, I think they should be banned. Well, the thing is, you can get any of your favourite bands on, you can just watch a YouTube or you can buy a DVD or online stream a concert. Sorry, buy a what?

No, when I said that, I was like, why did I say that? Well, you're going to leave a concert and be like, I simply must get the DVD. But you can look on YouTube. But the ones that are on YouTube are like audience videos. Yeah, that's true. But a lot of concerts live stream.

So you can get some really good like festival kind of performances. So you might as well just leave your phone in your pocket. You might as well. And you always have a meeting point anyway, don't you? If we get lost, meet at the front of the boiling room or whatever it was. The boiling room. The boiler room. The boiler room.

Yeah. I remember going to Big Dad's when no one had phones and you were like, we've lost Steve. Steve's dead now. Yeah, see you, Steve. We're like, we're going to meet Steve. I'm imagining hop ass 12 at night back at the van. Last I saw him, he was getting pulled out of the tall mosh pit. Yeah.

He looked broken. Hopefully he's all right. Steve was not drinking enough water today. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, about regnal names. Regnal. Regnal names. Regnal?

Are you saying regal wrong? Nope. Regnal. R-E-G-N-A-L. Regnal names. Okay. What is a regnal name? A regnal name.

Hey, thanks for asking. Arregnal name is when you become the ruling monarch, king or queen. Yeah. You don't have to use your first name. You can use any of your given names. Okay. For example, I'll stick with the British monarchy because it's the one we're probably the most familiar with.

Queen Victoria, the first Queen Victoria. She was christened Alexandria Victoria. But when she took the throne, she was like, I'm going to go with Victoria. Alexandria is a little fairly worldly. It's a little poncy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then that would be like...

You're a queen. We wouldn't call them Victorian times. You know, like, oh, that time period. The Alexandrian period. Yeah. Which sounds kind of cool, but it also sounds like Alexander the Great. Yeah. Who had that whole period when he was stomping around. So then her son, Prince

Albert Edward, became king and he was like, I want to be Edward the 7th. Okay. She's like, I don't like that. I want you to be King Albert. And he's like, no, I want Edward because he's already been Edwards and it's a name that people liked. The previous Edwards were all like, okay, dudes.

Which is why they think Prince Charles may not go for Charles the third. Okay. Because Charles II and Charles I weren't great kings with great reputations. Right. Then why doesn't he become a Charles with a good rep? Then he can say, I was the best Charles. Yeah. He changes the Charles. Yeah.

He's Charles in charge. But what else would he go for? Well, there's the options. His name is Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor Mountbatten. King Philip. God, they're all pretty predictable names. King Arthur. I'd go for Arthur. I'm Arthur, King of the Britons. But also

we know him as Prince Charles. I know. He'd have to go King Charles. I think that's the thing is like we're in modern day. We've kept up with his whole entire life. I know the last time this happened was 1936, the Queen's father. Was he the stuttery one?

Yes, the one about the movies about. Yeah. So he went with King George. He should have been King Albert. But he went with King George. Yes.

George the V1, 6th. Thinking of my own, Queen Jane. Queen Jane. Plain Jane they call her. Thinking of my own. Queen Jane. Ugh. Queen Jane. Plain Jane, they call her. Plain Jane.

Queen Jane. Yeah. Oh, plain Queen Jane. Mm. Queen Hayley. It's just, no, no. No, it's not. You could be King Peter. Oh, yeah, that's good.

Because there's Peter the Great. You don't like Peter. I don't. It's a weird, it's just a nothing name. Do you like King Peter? Not really. King Carl. It sounds better than King Carl.

King Carl sounds like a new burger joint. Do you see that, buddy? Because of Carl's Jr. Burger King. Yeah, that's why. It's a cross between Carl's Jr. and Burger King. I'll be King Carl's Jr. King Alan?

King Carl's Sr. Yeah. Mick King Carl's Sr. Mick King Carl's Sr. Get a bit of everything. Wendy's. With Lady Wendy. Yeah. Mick King Carl Senior. Get a bit of everything. Wendy's. With Lady Wendy. Yeah.

Get that in there. Yeah. And you'd be King Alan. Yeah. King Vaughn, King Alan. King Vaughn's very silly. King Smith's good. You just go straight to the last name.

I don't know. You can't use your last name. Okay. All right. So today's fact of the day is about regnal names. Rectal and regal. Yeah, rectal is where my brain went. It's kind of a cross between the two.

A regnal name means that when you become the ruling monarch, you can actually go with any one of your names. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. This popped up on Reddit and it's a bit of a hoot. A New Zealand police vehicle. Not a car like an SUV hoot. A New Zealand police vehicle. Not a car, like an SUV.

Okay. A Skoda? It might be Skoda. It'll be Skoda. I think it's a Holden. Is it one of the old Holdens? Old ones. But I've seen the new Skodas

going around. Yeah, same. Yeah, they're sexy. It is a sexy station wagon. Yeah, I got pulled over and got a ticket at the weekend out of Skoda. Did you?

You failed to mention this. Wait, hang on. You can't go fast enough. No, I pulled over and got a ticket at the weekend out of Skoda. Did you? You failed to mention this. Wait, hang on. I got a ticket. You can't go fast enough. No, I wasn't in the Jimny. Oh, okay. I was in the Santa Fe. I had it on cruise control and apparently I was going too fast.

I came out of a big sweeping corner. Vaughan, this is your second ticket in six months. This one, it's a $30 ticket and 10 demerit points. It was just over, he said. It was like, he's like, you were so on the line. I was like, oh. Well, why did he bother? He was so polite.

And then I was like, oh, I'm just going to get like a warning. And he's like, so yeah, the ticket just comes in the mail. We do this contactless now. I was like, excuse me, you just flirted with me. I flirted back. I thought he was going to ask you out on a date. Yeah, and then, I mean, it was probably because Sade was there. Right.

She's always getting in the way of me and dudes flirting. Okay. Wives will do that. Yeah, they will. Pesky old wives. Right. And then they, yeah, I got to, sorry, he said it was just. Just over.

Why'd they bother then? I thought there was a leeway. I said, how fast was the car in front of me going out of interest? Oh, you did that excuse. Because we've got that cruise control thing where it won't let you get too close to the car in front. Right. And it must not have been there yet, so it was still slightly faster. He's like, you were going one kilometre faster.

Oh, so we got you. Yeah, because I apparently changed the letters to red. Right. Like, hmm, orange maybe. And then I was, ding, one more. So how many demerit points are you down now? Because that other speeding ticket... 99. Nah. How many points

do you get? You, hey, we've got two. So now I've got to have a clean slate for two years to get back to zero demerit points. I've got 30 because the first speeding ticket I got when they changed that sign, which I'm still... I wish I'd fought it now. Every time I drive past that sign, I'm like, they moved that sign, which I'm still, I wish I'd fought it now. Every time I drive past that sign, I'm like,

they moved that and didn't tell anybody. They moved out the 60-kilometer area by like 400 more meters. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I was like driving like usual, getting ready for the 60, but I was still going 80, which wasn't 80. Right. Which had changed.

And he even said, yeah, it moved out a little while ago. But I don't usually take that route to work. So anyway. I got 30. Right. Reset the clock for two years. Well, speaking of the police. The wonderful New Zealand police.

And that's the thing. He's just doing his job. Yeah, exactly. You're the piece of shit here. You are absolutely the dirtbag. I'm a dirtbag. You are, yeah. I'm a huge piece of crap.

Yeah. In Rotorua yesterday, a police four-wheel drive ended up in a ditch. Yeah. Oh, these get some debater points. And it's embarrassingly in the ditch too. Yeah. And the ditch is off the road too. The video, it's not like the ditch is bordering right on the road.

There looks to be sort of a five-meter gap of grass. There's a road, footpath, grass, ditch. And it's straight in the old ditch there. I'd love to know the story behind that. I know. I just did a Google News search and I couldn't find anything. No.

So I think it's just, it must just be they went to pull off the road and didn't see the ditch. Well, I've got a ditch right, this is going to happen to, I will say it here and now, this is going to happen to me this year. But you just said you're the best driver in the world.

Yeah, but even the best driver in the world can't see this day. Right. So my driveway comes out long like that and then it goes out onto the street. But down here is like a hard drop down to like, you know, like a waterway kind of bit. And the other day I thought, you know, I'm going to give myself a head start in the morning. I'm going to reverse. I'll pull in the morning. I'm going to reverse.

I'll pull out. I'll reverse back into the thing. And then it was only because Aaron was like, Hayley! And I was like, what does he want? He was like, you're literally like centimeters away from the ditch. Backing into it too.

So I would have gone nose up. That's the good stuff. When you're driving, wheels are off the ground and you can't get yourself out. And you're like. It's so embarrassing when your car ends up in a situation like that. So what happened to you?

What's your story? Someone left their handbrake off and it rolled into our house. Now, the only person that would have been in charge of that handbrake sits right in front of you. Rolled into a house. Technically, I still haven't had an accident because I wasn't in the car. But it was a radio station's RAV4. It was an accident because I wasn't in the car. But this, it was a RAV, it was a radio station's RAV4. It was a station car. It's not even your car.

It was embedded into the side of this house. Yeah, and then because it was in the house, you couldn't take it to course. Headdressing course. RAV4s, you know, they were the... But like there is a car embedded into a house and that's my fault. So what, did the house get damaged? Yeah, it was all insurance though. you know they were the but like there is a car embedded into a house and that's my fault so what

did the house get damaged yeah it was all insurance though i killed the old lady no one was someone she just sat down and she was just like ah a worthers popped it in her mouth and this rev she was 90 so she was going anyway yeah yeah oh my god i just did her a favor no no no luckily no one was in the house oh so you just got out of this car, didn't figure, just went, I won't put it in park because it makes too much sense. I was just running into the house and back. Wait, whose house is it?

Where I was living at the time. No, it was where I was living at the time. So I was running up and down. Yeah, I was running at the 90 year old. Yeah, I was like, hang on, who's your flatmate in this scenario? On the back of this, could we take some calls?

Where has your car ended up? Yeah. Like, have you had an embarrassing incident? We don't want a serious incident, but an incident where, say, your car ends up in a ditch and everyone's driving past looking at you. Oh, that's the worst. That's the worst. Slowing down, rubbernecking.

Phones out the window nowadays. Phones out the window. This had happened all the time where I grew up in Eastbourne, which is like around the bays in Wellington, and on the seaside, but there's no barrier. Same in Dunedin. It just drops. Cars go off there all the time.

And you just sort of go like, ooh, and it's really curvy and cornery. And then you're standing there on the road and your car's in the ocean. In the water. And everyone's laughing at you. Yeah, shame. How are you going to get to work now? So let's share this morning. 0800 Dials at M.

You can text as well. 9696. Where did your car end up? I've been straight up just abandoned my car. I'll be like, I'll be back for you later. If it ended up like in an ocean or a lake, it's registered. Yeah, well, no harm, no foul. I'll ring someone and be like, my car's in the drink, but I'll be back later.

I'm not waiting around till everyone drives past. Be like, oh. Shame. We're talking about when your car ended up somewhere at Shantyv. Shantyv in there. Where did your car end up? How embarrassing was it? A photo has

popped up on Reddit of a Orotorua police car in a ditch. At what degree angle would that be? At least 45. At least 45. At least a 45. Nose heavy 45. It's quite comical.

I would love if someone rung us and said my car ended up being towed from Parliament a couple of weeks ago. They've given up on the mainstream media. Did some of them get like craned out? Yeah, that was the Doc's forklift.

Yes. That thing lifts containers. Bronte, good morning. Where did your car end up? So I had just got my learner's license and I was driving with my brother and he had a relatively new Volvo and I we got to the parking lot

outside Countdown, right outside the doors and I went to hit the brake but hit the accelerator and went right to the banister, like pretty close to the glass door of the countdown. You nearly ram-rated a countdown. Yep. How did the Volvo fare? He didn't actually tell me.

I'm pretty sure he made a pretty big insurance claim. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but it was fine. He had it for a few years after that. But, yeah, it was all right. Yeah, right. You're going to be a worry when you're in your 90s because it's either learner drivers or elderly drivers that go through shop fronts isn't it

yeah well or church fronts in this case someone messaged in saying when they were at church when they were a kid it was like and now we'll have our silent prayer and then an old lady drove a car to the church at that exact moment I mean if that's not a sign. And she just gets out,

sorry, I'm late. I'm late. Peace be with you. Peace be with you. All right, keep your calls coming in, ZM. Well, there's a photo doing the rounds popped up on Reddit last night of a Orotorua SUV,

a police car down in a ditch. Doesn't look like anyone was hurt. It was just a... Looked like it's had a couple of vodka cruisers. There'd be a bruised ego. Okay. Do you just need a moment for that? No one's hurt, but there's a

bruised ego. It's always funny when you have to repeat it. Physically, no one was hurt, but I tell you what, emotionally, there'll be a Emotionally there'll be a Yeah There'll be a few bruise Bruise the ego We want to know

Where your car has ended up Because it is It's embarrassing Like no one was hurt But Oh yeah Your car's an addiction You just lost control

Because you were being Absent minded perhaps Yeah So many calls and texts Richie where did your car end up? Mine ended up in the Hamilton Lake. Oh, dear. How did you get there?

The ducky one. What's that? The ducky one by the hospital. Wait, I'm pretty sure all lakes are ducky ones. This one's particularly ducky. Yeah, yeah. Well, it actually got stolen from, it got stolen from outside. I ran in to get something from the service station and

I left the car, like, cargo. Wow. Yeah, well, no one was there. It was quite late at night and then it got pinched and then it got stolen. But basically they found it with three wheels and yeah, rumour has it there was like a

geese had given birth on the back seat and it looked like bloody Dirty Mike and the boys had run a soup kitchen in the back seat. What does that even mean? You don't need to explain that, Richie. So it was in the lake? Yeah, in the lake. Wow.

Yeah, when they pulled it out, they sort of looked at me like, what's been going on here? And I was like, I wasn't even driving it. And the guy that was pulling out William's salvage jug, he was like, yeah, that's what we all had, mate. Oh, so he was like, he didn't believe this. He was stolen from the servo situation. He's like, you were playing with yourself and you knocked yourself over.

Richie, thanks for your call. Stacey, where did your car end up? What happened? Yo, I had a sneezing fit. And traffic and I hit the accelerator and I just broke my car off. Oh my god. So when you went to, your foot went

buff. Buff, yeah, and went straight into the back of another car. And it was in full traffic like all the cars had stopped. Oh my god. I often think this when I sneeze, I'm like, my eyes are closed for a bit. Exactly. So where did you end up? Where did the car end up?

Right up the back of the person. How bad was the damage to both cars? It was written off. Written off. Mine was written off. Oh, wow. You need to have some antihistamines. That's one hell of a sneeze on you.

What? Amazing. Stacey, thanks for your call. Phil, where did your car end up? So it wasn't actually me, it was my mum but we had just got home from lunch and it was only outside on a pretty weak day

and mum had had an argument with one of us in the car, me and my sister and so she was a bit grumpy already and she so we had people at home on the driveway so she had to park on the side of the road and just because she was flustered and sort of a bit unhappy already, she, so we had people at home on the driveway, so she had to park on the side of the road. And just because she was flustered and sort of a bit unhappy already,

she went to go put her foot on the brake to turn to park. She accidentally slammed her foot onto the accelerator and went partway up a tree. Oh, up a tree! Yay! And I bet that was your fault too, wasn't it? Oh, yeah, it certainly was. She didn't like her outside the car laughing at the time as well. What kind of car was it?

A Nissan Squirrel? A little Toyota Cressola. Oh, how did that look halfway up a tree? Oh, you know, it was pretty good. It only went a little way up, but it was definitely enough to sort of ruin her day and kind of make ours. I love that. Brilliant, Phil. Thanks for your call.

Michaela, tell us a story. What happened to your car? So my husband and I were driving through the Redwoods. We ended up in a ditch. So we called a tow truck driver. Said tow truck driver tried to pull us out and we ended up in the ditch too and ended up having to buy and get another tow truck driver

to come out. An absolute chain effect. Did they have to to buy it and get another tow truck driver to come out. Oh my God. Chain effect. Did they have to get that big daddy of a tow truck? Have you ever seen when a truck breaks down? I love that.

The tow truck. The tow truck. Yeah. Or the bus and it's like, ha ha. Yeah. It's a grunty truck.

It's yellow and it's real, it's got a big old ass on it. Yes. Big boy. Michaela, who paid for what? You paid for the little truck

and the little truck paid for the big truck? We actually didn't end up having to pay for anything. Because they were too embarrassed by the whole situation. Yeah. Please. Best outcome for you. Michaela, thanks. You call some more messages in.

Someone said, my dear old Nana mistook the brake for the accelerator when she was in reverse in a mall car park and it spun round and round and round and then when she finally got it straight it catapulted the car into a library. I bet you still couldn't tell her she can't drive. What?

What? Reverse doies? Yeah, and like a Daihatsu Mira. Oh my god. I love that her priority was not get my foot off the accelerator. It was, I gotta get this wheel straight.

I'm getting dizzy. And then it launched into the, into the, into the library. Surely that's a license loser, that one. Yeah.

My husband, when he was learning to, learning to drive, drove in the garage and then out the other side, he hit the accelerator and took a break. Now that's a classic.

Yeah. But this happened on a hill property. So it went out and down into the house on the other side he hit the accelerator instead of the brake. Now that's a classic. Yeah. But this happened on a hill property so it went out and down into the house on the other side. Oh no. Eek. Somebody said we were mucking around doing doughies at a railway yard. Oh yeah.

Why not? Loose metal. Yeah. Great way to pass the time. Get a handbrake turn in there. Do some silliness. Except the car bottomed out over railway tracks. You're not getting that off easily. No. No word as to what happened.

Did it get shunted by a shunting locomotive? I would love to see a presumably lowered Mazda just get shunted by a shunting locomotive. What a drama. We were, oh wow, leaving our wedding and our, what do they call those? Cars.

But you know, the cars and they're right, just married on the back and ring-a-ting-ting-ting behind it. Wedding car. Yeah, wedding car. That's what they called it

but I thought it had a special name. Wedding car? Bridal car? Consummation wagon? Yeah. And the guy that was driving us missed the corner

and just went straight down a hill. Imagine the cans. A tinkler, tinkler, tinkler. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Well, it's all thanks to Neon. You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz.

T's and C's apply. Some amazing shows on Neon. It's a show favourite. It's a go-to. It's an absolute go-to. What did I recently watch? Raised by Refugees by Pax Asada. Yeah, that's on there.

That's on Neon. New season of Atlanta coming soon. Yeah. I saw that last night. Final season, they've said. Donald Glover show. Yeah, it's a good show. Soundkeeper Owls is in with us.

The sound has been out for just a little over 24 hours now. Can we get the extended version? No. Nice try. It's too early for the extended version. It's too early. Joining us to have a shot is Abby. Good morning, Abby.

Good morning. Alright, well no pressure, but if you can tell us what that a shot is Abby. Good morning, Abby. Good morning. All right, well, no pressure, but if you can tell us what that sound is, you win $50,000. Oh, gosh. Ooh. All right. Do I go now? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's nails, like, tapping on a surface. Ooh. Okay. But maybe sped up, maybe. Like your fingernails? Yeah, like, but maybe sped up, maybe. Like your fingernails? Yeah, yeah, fingernails. Like acrylic nails or just any nails?

Oh, gosh, any nails. Okay, any nails. Long nails, yeah. That did kind of sound like that, didn't it? Yeah, yeah, hopefully. Have you been trying this for 24 hours now, Abby? Just, like, tapping on the desk? Well, straight away, that's what I thought it sounded like.

But the more I hear it, I'm like, oh, I don't know. You've got to follow your gut. Yeah, exactly. Because if it was there and you knew it on day two, you'd be annoyed. Yeah. You're here. It's day two. We're locking it in.

Abby, that is not the secret sound. That's okay. Thank you. All right. Well, Abby, you don't go home empty-handed because all this week, every guest on air wins a 12-month Neon subscription. It's all yours. Well done.

Oh, cool. Thanks so much. All right. Another chance is coming up at 11. Then at 1, we've got the Q Jump. So next, you've got the iHeartRadio app for that. And 4 and 5 this afternoon, your chance to win that $50,000 cash. ZM's $100,000 Secret Sound.

Well, it's back, and it's all thanks to Neon. You can watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. Soundkeeper Owls is in. Good morning. And the secret sound that we've been pouring over for the last 24 hours. Any other thoughts? Yeah, I had a wet... What?

I said I had a wet feeling this morning. I want to know about that. The sound took on a wetness for me for a moment. You think there could be like a slapping at the end? Think about an ocean wave. Yeah. Now listen to it. I'm coming into shore.

Wow. It's got a wet element. Do you know, I think this could be the hardest secret sound we've ever shore. Wow. It's got a wet element. I think this could be the hardest secret sound we've ever had. Yeah. I'm honoured. You're welcome. Honestly, it was impossible. Like when you came up with this sound, were you like, ha, yes.

Surprising. Yeah, I don't want to give too much away, but I was like, damn, I'm proud of this. I can't even look you in the eye because I worry that you're going to let it slip and I can't have that power. Madeline joins us. Good morning, Madeline. Hi, morning. Okay, so you've had 24 hours like the rest of us to pour over the sound.

$50,000 is the current jackpot. That money's yours if you can tell us what the sound is. Oh, my hand. Okay, I think it's a balloon popping. Any type of balloon? You don't have to be specific. Um, no, I don't know.

Like a general party balloon. Just a general balloon, yeah. A weather balloon? I'm out of balloons now. Hot air balloon? Oh, yeah. That makes a very different noise when it pops. No, just a normal party balloon. A water balloon? Yeah, the Hindenburg. That makes a very different noise. No, it's just a normal party balloon. The Hindenburg?

Yeah, the Hindenburg. A NOS balloon? Yep. I didn't know there were so many. Damn. A lot of balloons, yeah. Okay, I can see how she got there. Madeline, you've got no clues to go off.

You're just going off the sound and that's it. Yep. Going for $50, off. You're just going off the sound and that's it. Yep. Going for $50,000. You're locking it in. A balloon popping. It sounded like you were letting out a bit of the balloon there. That is not the secret sound, Madeline. Okay, thank you.

Hey, don't go anywhere, Madeline. Each guest this week, even if it is wrong, wins a 12-month Neon subscription. So that's all yours. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you so much. Check out some of the amazing shows on Neon.

I'm starting Yellowstone today. I'm not waiting for Sade. I've had enough. You mean Yellowjackets. No, Yellowjackets. Yellowstone. Both the Yellow shows are on Neon. They're both on my list. Two yellows.

I haven't done Yellow Jackets yet. I've done Yellow Jackets. Well, you can sign up now for your free 14-day trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Thank you, Alice. We'll have another shot at 8 o'clock if you want to have a crack at that $50,000 cash.

It stresses me, man. Secret Sound, it just stresses me somewhat.