ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 16th March 2022

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Magnum Vodka Cruiser  Top 6: Aliens  Creme Egg Fiasco  Have you changed your name?  Silly Little Poll! Ed Sheeran!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. I got acupuncture earlier in the year for my sore back, which has kind of come right, although every now and then I'm a bit like, ooooh.

Yeah. There it is. You know when you stand up too quick and you get a bit light headed and you're like, is this the time I faint? do you know a lot of that's psychological? once you've had horrendous back pain and you get over it, your brain still remembers it, and so, because it's like a trauma yeah, so it's a trauma, so when

something happens, like you stand up or you slip, your brain sends a message to your back and then goes and then you go you were right back there, back yeah, goodness, it slip, your brain sends a message to your back and then goes, huh? Yeah. And then you go, huh? You were right back there, Beck. I know. Yeah. Goodness.

It's not real. It's all in your head. But then Hayley yesterday went to my acupuncturist. I did. I've had some nerve pain in my leg and I was like, hook me up with your acupuncturist. And it was an adventure. I've had acupuncture before. I'm a big fan.

I'm a big fan. I love it. Same. But the acupuncture I've had before, tap, tap, tap in the needles, leave it for a bit, tap them out, maybe a bit of massage. Yeah, same. Not Dr. Wynn. Not Dr. Wynn.

He's a butt smacker. He didn't smack my butt. He smacked my butt to let me know it's over. Oh, did he? He pulls out your pants and smacks your butt. He smacked me on the arm when I told him I needed to wee. He's a lot of fun. He's a great guy.

But there was one moment that confused me and i don't know if he did it to you where he put the things in my leg and left me for a bit and then as he left he looked at me and he was like um sleep like it was a hypnosis and he just left the room and i was like oh and did you sleep yeah i told you dr wood is magical i slept for like 30 minutes he came back took out the needles but then this happened and i was like i was. He came back, took out the needles. But then this happened. And I was like, I was not expecting this. So he took the needles out of my thigh. But he didn't put them away. He clustered them into one sort of big needle.

And then just started stabbing me. Like perforating my skin. And I was going. He was like, sorry. Until it was all bloody. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know what's happening. And then he put the cupping things on it.

He capture. Well, you've got the hickeys. Do you have the hickeys? I've got big hickeys on my back and my thigh. And so he was drawing the blood out. Yeah, so cupping brings it to the surface. He does old school cupping too. He doesn't put them on and then suction them.

He runs a hot flame in them and then sticks them on there. And when the air cools down, it... And he does it so quickly. But yeah, the stabbing, i wasn't prepared for that and now so if you look at my leg it's like hickeys and stab wounds yeah but are you better today i can't feel my tingling leg wow i tell you what amazing yeah dr win's amazing he was the same guy that acupuncture me when i had shingles and i was getting that nerve pain and someone's like try acupuncture so you've been for a couple of injuries because he did not know who you were. No, no, no.

What do you mean? He said, do you sit down for work? And I said, yeah, in the mornings I sit down. I work on radio. And he said, oh, my co-host came and saw you a couple of weeks ago. Oh, yeah. Born? You have a big beard?

Wears a cap most of the time? Okay. He wouldn't have known what was going on. No recollection whatsoever. English is his second language. He knows the basics. Sorry and sleep. Yes, sleep was good. Wow. Okay, well next time I need some acupuncture, I'm there. I've been face down

on that thing and you fall asleep but you have like those weird, really super vivid I call them half dreams. Yes. Where it's more of a thought. The room is warped and the dream is warped. Yes. And then you're like, blah. Reality in itself is folding and twisting.

I did need to wee for a lot of it, though. Did you? When he left me with the cups on, then I was like, uh-oh, here we go. Yeah, go before. That's where you go before. I'm always worried that because he's sticking them in like nerve passages and stuff yeah and and muscles that are super tight yeah when it was my back i was like i could go poos later i'm not busting but if what if he goes ah ding ding ding ding ding ding ding and it just like releases

do you know what i reckon it's happened he's seen it before yeah it's good stuff. Go with the acupuncture. Did he whack your feet? He whacked my feet a lot. And I will say I came straight from the gym and I regret it. I was wearing stinky gym pants and stinky gym socks and shoes. And he peeled them off.

And I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That's why he didn't smack your bum on the way out. He thinks you're yucky. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleach Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Secret Sound, thanks to Neon, coming up at seven and at eight.

$50,000 to current jackpot, but right now we can start the show with a big announcement. As if Secret Sound wasn't big enough. The record-breaking, chart-topping, Wellington-obsessed superstar. The flatworks are great here. Is coming to NZ. Maybe you'll never be lost. ZM, getting you front left for air-sharing.

And he's coming back as Mathematics Tour. And it'll be the start of next year. So Wellington at Sky Stadium, Feb 2nd. That's the cake tin, isn't it? Yeah, it is the cake tin. Thank you. Yeah, which was formerly Westpac. Westpac Stadium.

Yeah, which is now Sky Stadium. That'll be Feb 2nd, 2023. I mean, that's only... I think I've got naming rights for it that year. Nine months away? Is it the Smith Stadium at that point? The Vaughan Smith Stadium. Yeah, by then, yeah.

I mean, do you have the money to pay for that? It's sort of a contra deal. You're just doing an Instagram post. Right, okay. I'm going to post on Instagram and name the stadium after me. I'll be like, man, have you guys been to the stadium? Wicked. Vaughan Smith, Eden Park.

Do you have naming rights for that one too? God, no. I can't afford that. Feb 10, 2023 in Auckland. It's a mile away, but it's actually nearly... So it's 11 months. Yeah. I was wrong.

Not nine months. 11 months away. 11 months away. But the way this year's going, it'll go like that. Yeah. So tickets, all the ticket details you can find at ZM Online. You can text Ed to 9696 for a chance to go

in the draw for a double pass. We've got him on the show with us via Zoom or Skype or however we're connecting through your laptop voice. There's a laptop, not that much. At 10 to 8 this morning. So exciting. Catch up with Ed Sheeran. What a super star.

But yeah, all those ticket details, ZM Online, and a chance for you to win a double pass when we chat to him, just before we chat to him, at quarter to 8 this morning. Very exciting. The top six coming up. Yeah, a professor with a PhD.

Okay. So a doctor. Yeah. A professor doctor. Yeah. Said in doctor. Yeah. Said in 2017, some aliens flew past, but they didn't,

they didn't stop. Okay. What? They didn't stop at Earth. I mean, it's not the craziest thing people believe in 2022, is it?

No, it isn't. No. Hey, that'll be good. It's good though. Oh no, no, that was in the past. I was going to say, we can reuse all those tinfoil hats.

Oh yeah. No, well, they might be pulling back past. They might be doing like a road trip and circling around. Right. Always takes less, it always feels like less time to get home than it is to go where you're going, you know? So they might stop on the way home for a cuppa.

But the top six reasons the aliens didn't stop in 2017. So you reckon they were just like, nah, not interested. Yeah. Straight past Earth. Mind you, if they could drive past Earth, they could probably scan us and get all the information they needed anyway. Well, yeah, we don't know what technology they have. No.

It's like when you used to drive from Auckland down south, you'd drive past Huntly, you'd be like, I'm all good. I'm not going to stop. Well, what about the Top Twins mural? I miss that. Oh, it is good. I know now we don't get to see the mural. They had various rugby league legends that came from the small North Waka town of Huntley.

I wonder how they're doing. Now they've built the expressway, the mural. I'm sure it's good. Huntley. No, I meant Huntley. Oh, Huntley, yeah. Huntley in general. Don't get to, we don't see him anymore.

Probably stoked there's not a thousand cars a minute. Stop at that fruit shop just by the cemetery there sometimes. Yes. For a Nashi pear. Oh, I love a Nashi. Jesus, they were big juicy Nashi the cemetery there sometimes. Yes. For a nashi pear. Oh, I love a nashi. Jesus, they were big juicy nashi pears there too. Yeah. That's the perfect soundtrack actually for this next study.

Very sexy. We were saying it's got a real 90s R&B vibe, doesn't it? Yeah, a real 90s slow jam sound to it. I can sort of imagine someone lighting like a fake gas fire and bringing two glasses of room temp rouge over to a couch. So speaking of which, let's get a little bit sexy. A study done by OnePoll has looked at how we talk and think about sexy times. And apparently the average person speaks about making love

in one way or another, something kind of sexy, five times a day. And we think about it eight times a day. Is it different from men and women? No. It's not? It's not. Does that surprise you?

No, because isn't there a moment where we change, like we swap who's more into it? Oh, as women get older? As women get older, they get more into it, and as men, when many, is that right? Yeah, when men are younger, they're like, ah, I can't think about anything else. Right.

And then as women get older, they're like, ah, I can't think about anything else. Right. And then it's when we get older, they're like, ah, I can't think about anything else. And then they're like... But by that time, the men are like, I've got other things to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the lawns. The lawns they do.

Yeah, the lawns. Mind you, the lawns will get an old man going. They will. A nice fresh cut will get an old man going. If we speak about it five times a day and think about it eight times a day, the majority of the time that we think about it, we say something. So that could be anyone a day.

Anyone. Like someone inappropriately in the office? I don't think it's like involuntary. I don't think it's sort of going, I'm thinking about sex right now. But it would be like a topic of conversation. Yeah, like you would bring it up. Like right now, we're all thinking about it. Yeah, we're thinking about it.

Because we're talking about it. But only because you mentioned these findings. Yeah, like you would bring it up. Like right now, we're all thinking about it. Yeah, we're thinking about it. Because we're talking about it. But only because you mentioned these findings. Yeah, no, now I'm finding it difficult to look you both in the eye because I know you're both thinking about it. Let's just think about it for a second. Yes, it's weird. So the majority of the time that we're thinking about it, we're speaking about

it five times a day. I don't know that I would speak about it five times a day. No, that's weird, right? I reckon it would surprise you how often you do. But it's because it happens so often, you don't think about it consciously. Yeah, right. And it could be anything from like a full-blown discussion about it. Yeah. To doing it.

To even just making a reference about something sexual. Okay. I'm going to be paying attention. So this is one? Are we saying this is one? Yeah. I will say I haven't thought about it before this. I'll be honest.

I'm just looking at what else I've got planned for the show. We're going to talk about cream eggs at some stage. I imagine that'll get sexual. That'll get horny. You ever eaten a cream egg? Oh, no. Do you remember that guy famously? He put up his bum.

A&E. How many did he put up his bum? Eight. I was thinking nine. Eight cream eggs up his... Can you just Google, what's the record for cream eggs up the bum? Yeah, there was an X-ray of it.

As every good story about going to... You're later in the show, I want to talk about slow cookers, so I mentioned that's going to get pretty sexual. That's sexual. A labradoodle was rushed to the vet after inhaling 12 cream eggs. Oh, poor lab. Yeah. Our retriever would eat cream eggs.

He's a dumbass. Just eat everything. Oh, we've got something about men and dancing. That could be the third. That'll be sexual. That'll be sexual. And then a couple at home. Yeah.

And then that's your five for the day that you've spoken about it. Couple at home. Hey, how was your day at work? Good. Now, I'm due to talk about sex five times today. No, actually. It was 2018. It was a Dutch man who did 15 hard-boiled.

No, no, no, no. That was a different situation. There's definitely been someone with cream eggs up there. A 34-year-old man from Lancashire has been awarded the... Awarded? Hang on. Yeah, no, that's nine Cadbury's. Told you.

Cream eggs. Nine Cadbury cream eggs. How do you remember that? This brain remembers how many cream eggs are up someone's bum. Did he unwrap them? Yes. Out of the foil? Yeah.

And then what? I don't know why he just didn't hang ten. Tie ho. You know, like, they'll come out, the chocolate. Yeah. I thought you meant hang ten like try getting another one in. Why stop at nine if you can reach ten? Hang a ten.

Here's the front page. I stuck nine cream eggs up my bum. Easter world page. I stuck nine cream eggs up my bum. Easter world record. I stuck nine cream eggs up my bum. And there's a picture of him. Yeah, there's a picture. Some people just have too much time on their hands, don't they? We should talk to him.

Can we get him on the phone? How's your bum? You going for 10 this Easter? He's done a YouTube video. Unbelievable. Oh, let's watch it. Let's watch it as soon as we get off the air. Another headline.

That's no yolk. And it's got the X-ray. Oh, dear. With the cream egg guy or the other Dutch guy? No, these are the record smash with nine cream eggs. Why is there a record? That'll tempt somebody to be the record holder. I wonder if they're mini eggs.

I think they're mini eggs. Yeah, I'm going to say, how big is a cream egg? Giant. An old cream egg used to be three quarts of an egg, I reckon. The size of a small, small egg. There is a small cream egg. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. That's our news from Australia.

Vodka Cruiser. I know, I was just quickly Wikipedia-ing. Wikipedia-ing? That's it. Wikipedia-ing? That's it. Wikipedia-ing? You've got it. Is it, is it, I was always under the impression vodka cruises started here in New Zealand.

Is that true? Oh, you're moving in KGBs. Oh, no, here we go. So, Wikipedia, the product originates from New Zealand and is produced by Asahi Breweries. Yeah, Asahi bought it, but wasn't it independent liquor? It was before that. Independent liquor, yeah.

Independent liquor, if you don't know, I think it would make a great Sunday night theatre, the story of it. Is that the guy that died? Erseg, yes. Yes. Because I was flying to New Plymouth the day that they crashed that plane

and we had to do loops around off the coast of Raglan and you could see the oil slick. Yeah. Oh, wow. From the plane. It was crazy. But a fascinating dude. He was made redundant from a brewery and used his money from his redundancy to set up his own.

Oh, wow. Specifically doing RTDs. I met the dude once. Oh. Right. It was... Yeah. And then I think he sold it.

Made a fortune. Right. Didn't you do two degrees? I don't sold it, made a fortune. Right. Didn't he do two degrees? I don't know. I don't know. He was a very, very savvy businessman. Right.

Well, I... You go. No, I was just trying to find... There's nothing on the Vodka Cruiser Wikipedia page that says when it launched. But this news story that I've found from Australia said that they couldn't celebrate Vodka Cruiser's 21st birthday last year because of the pandemic. So they've been around 21 years.

21 years. So the year 2000, yeah, that makes sense because that was when, you know, RTDs really found their own in the early 2000s. Before that, you were mixing your own. Yeah. You had the KGBs. You had KGBs and purple goannas. Yeah, and tattoos. Do you remember tattoos?

Oh, my God. Mud shakes? Yeah. Mud shakes were so gross. So bad. What were those ones where you had to add a shot? Stingers? Stingers.

Oh, yes. Yeah, and the shot was strapped to the side of the bottle. Yeah, and it was like the flavour. And you pour the flavour in. Yeah. I hadn't had a vodka cruiser for years since I was like, I won't say a teenager, but I mean like, you know, late teens, early 20s.

And then I just remembered I had one recently. And I went out and I had, what flavour is that? Do you know? A big pink vodka cruiser. I don't think I've ever had one. Ever? It's like a heart attack in a bottle. It's a lot, eh?

A lot of sugar. It's so much sugar. A lot of sugar. Well, I used to be a Smirnoff red and Smirnoff black. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smirnoff double black, Smirnoff ice. Oh, yeah. Smirnoff double black. Smirnoff ice. A lot of sugar.

Oh, tons of sugar. And now, of course, you've got your long whites. You've got Powell's and a bajillion different RTBs. Which are like soda water based. Yeah, which are a lot. And you sit down and you drink five and then you stand up and you're like, hello. Good night. Well, hey, I have not stood.

To celebrate, Vodka Cruiser are launching in Australia, and these are very limited edition. There's only a few of these. They are launching Vodka Cruiser Magnums. Oh, my God. 3.1 litres in wild raspberry, juicy watermelon, and lush guava. Wild raspberry. That's the one I had.

It is. It's intense. It's a lot of sugar. It's like Raro, but you didn't put in as much water as you were supposed to. Yeah. The bottles hold the equivalent of 11 standard bottles and take two staff to pour. But I think you've got to win them, I think, in Australia to get them. So I don't think you can just buy them at a store.

Take two staff to pour. The New Zealand Herald inquired to the drinks New Zealand distributors yesterday and apparently no plans for the Magnums to cross to New Zealand. So, I mean, you know, we can go to Australia. Well, what if we get, because maybe, yeah,

maybe if I, next time my brother comes over, I'll get him to get us an order. That's like his whole duty free allowance. I'll pay for though. I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it. Do you reckon they'll have them at duty free? These magnums in Australia? They always have gimmicky booze at duty free. It sounds like you've got to enter

and win them. So you can't just buy them. Could we make one? Could we just get a big bottle, buy some cruisers and put them in? I mean, if you want to. And then have a heart attack on the floor. But three litre magnums, aren't magnums due to like one and a half?

Yeah, it's a lot of cruisers. Yeah, it's a lot of magnums. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I did gymnastics as a young man. A boy. Did you? Yeah. Really? It was quite the thing in our area because there was some, like,

ex-amazing gymnast who was some old dude who absolutely reeked of ciggies, loved ciggies, but he did gymnastics. Was he Russian? Nah. In my mind, he's Russian. They're always Russian. All gymnasts are Russian at some point. The tiny, tiny little Eastern Europeans.

Yes. Flackin' and... How far did you get? Like, what was your most advanced skill? Like, did you jump up on the... I did the beam. On the beam? You got on the beam?

You do that beam where you do the dip and you get to the end. Yeah. But there was never any, like, flips or anything. I didn't stick at it long enough. Reckon you can do a cartwheel? No. No, I never did that. Roly-poly?

Wildly inflexible, even as a child. Yeah, right. But apparently gymnastics and dancing would have been great for me to help me connect with my identity. Oh yeah. Okay. As men who are now

adults but were children in the 90s and the 2000s who did dancing or some sort of gymnastics, dancing. Movement based activity. Yeah. Rather than just rush them up, smash them sports where, you know, you're not supposed to cry. Oh, no, you don't cry in rugby, do you? They're more in touch with themselves,

have a better overall body image, like a positive representation of themselves when they look in the mirror regardless of what they see and they're in touch with their feelings. Are you a dancer? Would you say you're a dancer? No, I wish I was. Can you shuffle?

Can you shuffle on the dance floor? There was a lot of... You're very white, aren't you? Yeah, very. Very rhythmically challenged. Like myself, I'm... You're not a dancer. I wish I had done more of that sort of thing as a child because, you know, it's good for

you. It is good for you. What have you got in that? What have you got a furrowed brow? Are you repressing some traumatic sort of memory here to do a childhood dance? No, I just, I's good for you. It is good for you. What have you got at that? What have you got a furrowed brow? Are you repressing some traumatic sort of memory here to do a childhood dance? No, I just, I'm terrible at it. You never did dance?

Always have been. Never done it. I weirdly, I did, I mean, I obviously marched my whole life, which has choreography, but I weirdly did hip hop when I was 13 and 14 years old, which is when I was a goth. A hip hop goth? Yeah, it was really weird.

Goth hop. Goth hop. I know, I went through this like total fashion thing and this trend and then I would go on like a Wednesday night to the Wellington Performing Arts Centre and take a hip hop class in my petticoats and fishnets. Weird, I don't know why I did that. Does this study say how long you should have done this for as a kid?

Dance or gymnastics? The age to start was early primary. Right. And then just doing it throughout, the boys that stuck with it were, you know, far more in touch with themselves. Didn't have, you know, when you're a teenager and you have like an identity crisis and you're not quite sure who you are or what you're supposed to be. Well, I was a goth doing hip hop.

That's an identity crisis right there. Yeah, that's right there. You don't know what you need to be. And can you be both? Well, I did. I was. Yeah, but apparently, and then the study goes on to say, oh, the attitude towards men's dancing is changing.

But I would have thought it had already changed. You know, you've got your Jason Derulos. Yeah. Like dudes that can dance are sexy and have been for quite already changed. You know, you've got your Jason Derulos. Yeah. Like dudes that can dance are sexy and have been for quite some time. Even back in the 90s, if guys could dance, it was sexy. Justin Timberlake? Yeah. He's a big dancer.

Sexy stuff. I'm confused as to if there's any attitude at all left, but then I do live in a liberal bloody bubble, don't I? Mainstream media. Mainstream media liberal bubble. I feel like, aren't you? Bloody left, disgusting mainstream media liberal bubble. I feel like when I was in the 90s, the girls did sort of dancing and gymnastics

and the boys did like judo. Yeah, martial arts. Or karate, yeah. Yeah. As opposed to... Switch it up. Sort of fluid-based movements. What's the Brazilian martial art that's like a dance?

Tapuera. Tapuera. Oh, yeah, okay. That's sexy stuff. But it might just be because of Brazil Institute. Those guys and girls can do no wrong. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank,

this is the Top Six. Hey there. In 2017, apparently, aliens may have tried to contact us. This is from Harvard's top astronomer, by the way. This isn't just some crackpot dude living in a basement. A wackadoo guy.

He's not wackadoodle. With one of those big aerials. You know those people that have the big aerials? Oh, yes. And they have a little radio and they're like listening in. What was that? It was him. Yeah.

Wow. I used to get so scared of white noise on the radio when I was a kid because I was terrified I was going to hear like a hidden message. Especially because of like signs. Remember Signs? The Mel Gibson movie. Mel Gibson film. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was them, eh? They had radio frequencies. Yeah. Aliens coming in. And there was that movie White Noise. Yes. Oh, yeah. That was horrible.

So this Harvard astronomer, Dr. Avi Loeb. Wow, you spat that out. Yeah. this Harvard astronomer, Professor. Dr. Avi Loeb. Wow, you spat that out. He is Harvard astronomer. So what? They went past in a spaceship, these aliens. There was, in 2017, a bizarre, what is described as a blunt-shaped object. And I thought, oh, it was blunt, but it actually just looks like a blunt, as in a marijuana cigarette.

Right. A blunt-shaped object whizzed our way in space, half a mile in length, and travelled at an irregular pace. Oh. So it was like, fast, slow, fast, slow. Not like a comet that would be like, seal. And that's exactly what you do with the accelerator, isn't it? You're like, fast, and then you kind of mind wanders,

you go off the gas, and you're fast. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So he's published a book book which he believes the giant object was alien of origin and wasn't a UFO but might have been a communications device travelling through space. Like a satellite or something. Oh, okay. To try to find us.

So there weren't like aliens on board looking down. Perhaps not more than at home base receiving messages from it. Extraterrestrial, the first sign of intelligent life beyond Earth. Huh. Do you believe in aliens? Purely on a statistical basis.

Like, there's got to be something out there, right? Yeah, I don't think they look like us. No. They're not little grey men with bulbous heads. Yeah, green little...

Well, they're almost genderless, aren't they, those little greys or whatever they call them? Because they've never got like a big wang. So you'd like aliens to come to Earth with big old wangs.

Is that what you're saying? Well, if they're better than us in every way. Yeah, right. Not that a big wang's always better. See, here we are talking about sex again.

Write it down. See, that's happened. That's number two. It's happened like four times in the first hour. Yeah. We're obsessed. We're on heat.

So maybe. I don't know, but I don't think they're going to look anything like us. No. No, they can't. I don't think they can look like anything that we would even imagine. No, we're very specific to this sort of environment.

Yeah, totally. So I've got the top six reasons in 2017 where the aliens didn't stop. Okay. Number six on the list. They didn't understand Brexit and just didn't want to get involved. So what does this mean? What is your passport? This country's right there

but they don't want to be in the union with this country right here and they're saying it's to benefit them, but it's coming across like racist. And I don't even get racism because I'm an alien. Yeah. We can travel interdimensionally. We don't worry about what color somebody's skin is. Let's keep going.

Number five on the list of the top six reasons that aliens didn't stop in 2017. As they were going past, Desposito was playing on every radio station ever. And they were like, if that's the best I've got, then we'll probably pass. I mean, it was a real, it was everywhere in 2017. It was one of the year's biggest songs, an undeniable hit. So was the clip of Justin Bieber performing it live and not knowing the lyrics. Remember that?

Yeah, despacito. Oh, that's right. Dabba, dabba, dabba, dabba, dabba, dito. Dabba, dabba, dabba, dabba. This is the remix. This is the remix. This one. The darkest day got me feeling so good.

That's right. This song was everywhere. It was inescapable. Slowly. Okay, all right. Got me feeling That's right, this song was everywhere. It was inescapable. Slowly You fit me Okay, alright. If you went on a tropical holiday there, yeah. You totally know it.

Number four on the list of the top six reasons that aliens didn't stop in 2017. They were coming for a Chris Cornell-led audio slave show and then he died. So they were like, well, I mean, what's the point? Turn around, go home. That's a very niche. Did you Google 2017 deaths?

Yes. And that's about the most high profile. Really? What was the bad year for deaths? Was it 16 or 18 where it was like... They were dropping like flies. All these celebs were dying. I think 2016 was celeb death heavy.

Right. And then first COVID year was pretty celeb death heavy. What year did Bowie die? 16. That was the year where Bowie died death heavy. What year did Bowie die? 16. That was the year where Bowie died and so many people died. Bowie. Number three on the list of the top six reasons the aliens didn't stop in 2017.

They were coming to Earth especially to see the movie adaptation of the popular anime Ghost in the Shell. And then they saw Scarlett Johansson was the lead actress. And they were like, but she's white. They just couldn't fathom it. They couldn't fathom it. Michelle, and then they saw Scarlett Johansson was the lead actress, and they were like, but she's white. Turned around and went home. Couldn't fathom it. They couldn't fathom it. Why wouldn't, if the role was, there's lots of actresses, turn around. I'm not dealing with this.

Number two on the list of the top six reasons that aliens didn't stop in 2017, well, they were on their way, but just when they were about to touch down into Earth's orbit, they found out that Kylie Lip Kits were sold out. Oh, no. They couldn't get a Kylie Lip Kit. Man, do you remember when the biggest drama and news was Kylie Lip Kits had sold out?

Do you remember when people were getting up at like 2 o'clock in the morning and sitting in a virtual queue to spend phenomenal amounts of money on Kylie Lip Kits? Yeah. Can we retrospectively look back and be like, yeah, okay, they were all right, but they were nothing special.

Did you have a Kylie lip kit? I've never owned a Kylie lip kit. I don't think I've got Kylie lip kit energy. Only because you don't have Kylie lip kits. I don't have Kylie lips. Or the lip kits. Kylie didn't have the lips either, then she got the kit.

So you get the kit, it gives you the lips. The kit is not what gave Kylie her lips. I will not hear that the Kardashians have had any cosmetic surgery. They're natural Armenian beauties. They are. And number one on the list of the top six reasons the aliens didn't stop in 2017. Trump. Oh, yeah.

Fair call. Lest we forget, that was his first year of like full-blown presidency. And they were like, good luck, Earth. Catch you next time. That is today's top six. More Creme Egg news. This story, God, it makes you cringe. So Cadbury Creme Egg, they ran a competition in the UK. They created 146 special Cadbury Cream Eggs

that were half white chocolate, half milk chocolate. Yum. And the campaign was, you know how Cadbury Cream Eggs, how do you eat yours? The campaign was Cadbury Cream Eggs, how do you not eat yours? And if you unwrapped one of the half-half eggs, you had to take a photo of it, open the wrapper, which had a code, register online,

and then that wrapper would correlate to a prize. The lowest prize you would win would be 50 pounds, about 100 bucks. The top prize, 10,000 pounds. Because until you said the code and the wrapper, I was like, you can get a surgical knife and cut a white cream egg and a normal one and glue them together.

You could. But you need the code. You need the code. Do they do that here? It was quite a lot. I haven't heard of this. No, I'm pretty sure this was just in the UK. Yeah, I haven't heard.

Have a little looky. Right. I know. I was just trying to Google because I know they eat a ridiculous amount. Of greenies. It's like 20 something million a year. Yeah, they love them. There was six that had 10,000 pounds tied to them.

Three with 5,000. Four with 1,000. 12 with 150. And the rest were 50 pounds. Then you had to register it and you get your money. And then you can eat it. Right. But you have to take a photo of yourself not eating the egg.

That's the whole campaign, how not to eat yours. Right. So there was a student in the UK who's never, ever had a Cadbury cream egg. And he was like, today I'm going to try a Cadbury cream egg, see what all the fuss is about. Not today. Yeah. Today's not the day.

Today is the day. He opens up the cream egg, eats it. He's like, yum. That's great. He doesn't know what a cabbred cream egg looks like. Where's he been living? I don't know. And then he was scrolling through Instagram and saw an advertisement for the campaign and was like, mine was

half and half. I was like, hang on a second. Then he told his girlfriend, was like, I ate one of these and she was like, hang on a second. Then he told his girlfriend, was like, I ate one of these and she was like, that could be worth 10,000 pounds. He was like, no. She was like, do you still have the wrapper?

And he was like, no, it's long gone. He put it in the bin. So he has absolutely devoured the thing, didn't take a photo of the egg and threw out the wrapper. Has no evidence of him eating this Cadbury cream egg. So now what he's trying to do,

because he missed out on 10,000 pounds, potentially, he has been sharing all over his social media about his horror story and is like tagging Cadbury being like, I'm giving you all this free publicity. What can you give me? Please, please, please. It doesn't have to be 10,000 pounds.

I did have one, I promise. He's asked, he said, if anything, please just send me a little bit of free chocolate. I'd send him some more cream eggs. I mean, you sent him a box. I mean, it's working. We're talking about it on the other side of the world. I know. Aren't we? He says it instantly occurred to

him once he'd eaten, once he figured out what had happened, that his potential loss amounted to half of his university tuition. When you start breaking it down like that, you've already mentally spent what you don't have. Yeah. Cadbury have not been in touch as of yet.

And I don't know that they will be. He's got no proof. No. Of this magic ear. Well, yeah, for all they know, he could be completely making it up. For all we know. Yeah. And now we're spreading these salacious rumours all over New Zealand radio as well.

There you go. He's missed out on 10,000 pounds. I do want to eat one though. Yeah, you've actually, you've made me now want to eat one. Can I say I've never had one? A cream egg. What, ever? I'm sorry to say that you missed.

You what? You missed premium cream egg. I've never had a Cadbury cream egg. Cream eggs were better back in the day. Like they were more runny and gooey. Yeah, now they're more like grainy and sugary. They seem strange to me. They're a lot.

How have you never had one? I've just never, they've just never been on my radar. I mean, not on my radar, but I've just never sort of reached for a Cabri Creamy. I saw some air fryer recipes for them. Can you get them year round? It's not an Easter specific thing. Yeah, you pretty much can, eh? Can you?

Well, it depends how... I think nine months of the year. Yeah. There's probably a quiet three month period when, you know, marshmallow Santas are really dominating. Oh yeah, I've had a few of those in my life. Never a Cadbury cream egg. Oh my God, you've missed out.

You've missed out. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Kia ora, I'm Simon Bound and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but. Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business

or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff Podcast Network in partnership with Sparklab. Well, very famous Formula One legend. I'd say he's probably the most well-known Formula One driver in the world at present. Michael Schumacher, was he Formula One? He was Formula One legend. I'd say he's probably the most well-known Formula One driver in the world at present. Michael Schumacher, was he Formula One?

He was Formula One, yes. That's who I always remember. My brother was a big Formula One fan growing up. But Lewis Hamilton, he has revealed that he's changing his name. He's going for his eighth title, which he said it would just mean the world to his family. And he's never really understood why when people get married, they suddenly lose their name.

And so what he's doing is he's taking on his mum's surname, LaBelestia, LaBelestia, and is adding it to his name. So it's going to be his middle name. Yeah. Lewis LaBelestia Hamilton. Right. Is he hyphenating? No. I don't think he's hyphenating. It's a middle name. Wait, yours is Peter. Yeah. Lewis Labalestia Hamilton. Right. Is he hyphenating? No. I don't think he's hyphenating.

It's a middle name. Wait, yours is Peter. Yeah, but he's still going to be Lewis Hamilton. Yeah. So it's not real. But so what's his middle name now? I don't know what his middle name is now.

It'll be on his Wikipedia page. Lewis Hamilton? He said his parents divorced when he was young and his mum went back to her maiden name and so he has... Does he have nothing to do with his dad?

No, no, he's got something to do with his dad. His middle name is Carl. What a great middle name. Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton. Right, and now what? He's going to have three middle names. I wonder where in that order it's going to go. Lewis Carl Labalastia Davidson Hamilton.

Sir Lewis Carl Davidson Labalastia Hamilton. Right, but he's changing it like deed poll and everything. Yeah, he's doing it properly. He'll need a new passport. He's not just putting it in. He's literally doing it properly. And he said it's to honour his mum and so that she and her name also gets to sort of,

you know, have some of the glory of his titles. He is equal with Michael Schumacher in his world championship titles. Right. At seven, and now he's going for eight, which will make him... Well, he would have bloody had it this year, except Verstappen got him on that last bloody call, didn't he? I don't know what you just said. That series, Drive to Survive, is phenomenal.

And that follows the... It was about slowing down around corners. Yep, correct. And he also doesn't care what you think because he earns $40 million a year. Wow. He doesn't care if you don't know anything about his sport. No.

No, he couldn't give a toss. He couldn't care less, yeah. He also has zero Fs for what you think of him adding this mother's surname into his middle name, like it or not. Yeah. When I was a teenager, I was really jealous of people with hyphenated names.

So for a while I hyphenated Hayley Jane. Because Hayley Jane could be a hyphenated name. Yeah. Lindy Jane. Sumu Jane. Something, Hayley Rose was also like a big one. Hayley Rose was what I wanted to be, what my mum wanted me to be.

Every second white girl born in the 80s and 90s has Rose as a middle name. Has Rose, yeah. With a name that can be mum wanted me to be. Every second white girl born in the 80s and 90s has Rose as her name with a name that can be hyphenated to it. Rose or Jane. And so I hyphenated it for a while, but not officially. I just started doing it on MySpace. Right. Do you know anyone that's changed their name?

No. I know some people that should. You know, some people that have an unfortunate name. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were just yeah yeah There's some people Whose names I don't like And they should change them Yeah

I was going to say his name But then I was like There's a real estate agent There's a real estate agent Up north Called Peter Peters Is there Yeah

That's great And I remember Going up north once It was around Paihear Yeah And the Waitangi grounds There was shops and stuff and it was like

contact Peter Peters and Ronald McDonald. I quite like that. I'm sure there's a real estate agent called Ronald McDonald or Donald McDonald. Oh, Don McDonald. Don McDonald. Yeah, but Don is short for Ronald. Yeah. Why are you calling your kid

Donald McDonald? But they might not have had McDonald's then when he was named. No, it doesn't matter if his name's... It rhymes. You don't rhyme your first name with your last name. They called you Spetcher Fletcher. Lachlan McLaughlin. Yeah.

Don't do that. I wouldn't change my name when I get married. I would keep my name. You're going to keep Sproul. Well, no. Hyphenate? What about a hyphen? Nah.

Nothing. I can't remember if we mentioned it on air or we were talking off air, but I was talking about a couple getting married and they were, some friends knew these people and they decided to make up a last name out of both of their names. Oh, yes, and not a hybrid. That's what we're talking about, eh? Because I have some friends that were tattooing around

with a hybrid of their names, so me and Aaron might be like a sproddocee. Yeah. Or a crow. It's like making a couple name. But this was just, your friends were just like picking out of the sky. Yeah, let's just pick a random last name, like Taylor. And it's none of their last names.

What about the history? It's the history of the name. It ruins your family tree, doesn't it? Yes. You're kind of jumping to another tree. You're starting your own. You're planting your own tree. You're planting a new tree.

Maybe you're not so stoked on your four bearers. Your four bearers. So you're planting your own tree. I find it so fascinating why people do this. Yes. And I would love to take some calls now. Yes. Like, if you've ever changed your name, why?

And not a marriage name change. Yes. Don't want to hear those, unless it's something completely new and different or a hybrid name. Yeah, not just taking on another person's surname. Or like we were talking about if you move to a foreign country and people struggle with your name. You know, if you move from overseas, a lot of the times people like shorten it or abbreviate it because they can't be bothered with people unable to pronounce their full name. So they just go for Jim Jim or something. Because it's easy to say. Jim Jim.

Tom Jim. Tom Jim. Tom Smith. Tom Smith, that's a great name. That's a great name. Tom Jim, two first names. So yeah, I'd love to hear those stories. Maybe you were on witness protection so you needed to change your name. Are you going to ring up and tell us this?

Don't call. You'll bust your witness protection wide open and gangs will get you. Gangs don't listen. Gangs love the show. Gangs are lazy. We'll take anybody. Gangs are lazy, very productive people. Up at the crack of dawn. The pee keeps them awake,

doesn't it? Yeah, it does, 24-7. For whatever reason, why have you changed your name? 0800-DARNS-NM. Give us a call. Talking about name changes. Lewis Hamilton, famous Formula One legend, is changing his name, adding in his mother's maiden name to his name. But the commentators will still be like,

Lewis Hamilton's one. Yeah, of course, because they don't read his full name every time. Yeah. But he's now going to- Is he called Sir Lewis Hamilton when he's racing? Sir Lewis. Sir Lewis. Why?

He's a sir. Is he a sir? Yeah, he's been knighted. Get out. I know. Had no idea. You can see that- Thank you, man.

Because when he got knighted, it looked amazing. He had cornrows and you could see the queen. She just really wanted to talk to him about his cornrows. You know how old people freak out about cornrows. Yes. Can I touch them, she would have said? What do you call these? So we want to know from you if you've ever changed your name.

Yes. And why and what to and what from. And not necessarily because of marriage. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And if you're hiding and you've got a new identity because of a crime you committed or a crime that's committed, maybe don't tell us that Here's a story of a blended

family, somebody messaged in We've got a blended family, considered a hybrid surname when we got married, as some kids had Van de Sam and some kids had Stuart as a last name So we've changed it and now we're the Van de Stuarts I like that. I love a strong name.

Hayley VanderStewart. I am here to audition for the role of Juliet and my name is Hayley VanderStewart. You've got it. That would also sound great signing off on the news. Like if you're a news report. VanderStewart, one news.

Yeah. That's good stuff. George joins us. Good morning, yeah. Amanda Stewart, One News. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. George joins us. Good morning, George. Morning, whānau. Morning. Now, you're actually going to change your middle name. I am, yeah.

So, my middle name is Ria, spelled R-I-E. Yeah. And that was the last three letters and the nickname that my grandmother went by when she was alive. And her full name was actually Tarangi Marie. So they just gave her

Rie. Because it was easier for white people's tongues to get around. Well my parents forgot that one day I was going to grow up and be able to hopefully spell and talk so they gave me her nickname and

yeah I want to connect with my whānau and respect for her and change my middle name to what it was supposed to have been but my parents were too lazy and probably forgot how to spell it themselves. Yeah. And change it myself.

I like that. You're going to need, you know what? Even with a short name, you never get enough blocks when you're filling out forms. Oh, I know. You're going to need another line. New blocks. New blocks. I'm definitely going to.

Oh, good on you. That's awesome. Yeah. How much is that going to cost, though? It should be free. I don't think it's too much, but I don't know. It does cost something, but not a lot. It used to be just like 50 bucks.

I don't really care, though, because I'll have that connection. Yeah, totally. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a great reason to change your name. George, thanks for your call. Diane, you're also changing your surname at the moment. I'm thinking about it, yes, definitely. Tell us why.

Because I'm divorced and I'm also estranged from my family, so my maiden name won't work and I don't want my divorce name. Okay, so you're estranged from your family, so none of those are on the table, the mum or the dad's name. So are you just going to pick one out of thin air? Yeah, I'm going to come up with something. Let's do it, Diane. Let's do it, Diane. What are you into? Like, what's

your... What's your favourite sort of like geographical location? Like, do you like rivers or beaches or mountains? Definitely water, yeah. Oh, okay. Whereabouts in New Zealand are you from?

Dian Lakes. Tauranga. I've got the port, Dian Port. Oh, yeah. I quite like Dian Port, it's quite nice. Dian Bay Oval. Well, no, she likes water, not cricket.

Oh, yeah, okay. Do you like cricket, Dian? It's a good way to speedway. Diane Bay Oval Yeah Well no she likes Water not cricket Oh yeah okay Do you like cricket Diane You could be Scooby Speedway Diane Diane Peters Winston Peters

Famously Oh no pictures No no no She's distanced herself Professionally and personally From that What about some Famous

Famous Diane's To be inspired by Oh Lady Di She was a Diane What was she Spencer Diane's to be inspired by? Oh, Lady Di. She was a Diane. What was she? Spencer. Diane Spencer.

That's nice, though. That's lovely. It's quite nice. It's got a good touch. Well, what about a hot celeb that you're into and you could just take their name? Like, I could be Hayley Momoa. Yeah. Diane Hemsworth. Diane Clooney.

Oh. Oh, yeah. What about Diane Clooney? And then everyone will be like, do you get free Nespresso pods and do you know George Clooney? And you're like, not anymore because we were married but he left me. We've had a

listener suggestion here. Diane Rivers. That's it. That is it. Do you like that, Diane? I like that, yeah. Diane Rivers. If you like the water, you could definitely... Diane Octopus. Love an octopus. Diane Cephalopod.

Oh, dear. I think we've given you plenty to think about here. Diane, let us know when you settle on one. Diane Tuatua. Oh, yeah, okay. I love Tuatua. Beautiful saying. Okay, let us know when you settle on one, Diane.

Yeah. Definitely will. Okay, so thanks, Diane Harbour. Harbour. That felt good. That felt good. That felt good saying, Diane. Yeah, okay.

Diane, thank you. Wait there. Some messages in. Lots of people changing their names for reasons other than marriage. I legally first changed my first name in the from a trendy 90s, 2000s names that just didn't suit me. I'd love to know. They don't specifically say what this trendy 90s

90s. They say think along the lines of Ashley or Brittany. I was going to say, is it like Celeste? Could be. Daphne. Thinking of Daphne and Celeste UGL, why you ain't got no alibi I always hated my name So it was really fun picking out a new name

I changed it to Annabelle Which was my grandmother's pet name as a child Oh, fun Did they say their OG name? No, they never did They said, think along the lines of Ashley or Brittany But they never said exactly what it was It's still this thing we'd like to know.

Somebody said, I don't know if he changed his name to this or not, but we once got into a helicopter and the pilot said, hello, I'm pilot Criss Cross. And we were like, are you going to make us? And he didn't get the joke. Didn't say jump, jump. Imagine if his last name was Christopherson. Criss Cross Christopherson.

Criss Cross Christopherson. Criss cross Christopherson. That's got a hot role to it. Somebody said, my friends just got married and didn't have great connections to their family names so they picked a new name

and they ended up picking the street name where they first met. Oh. Mr and Mrs Rifle Range. Yeah, but it's not a password prompt when you've forgotten

your password, is it? No, I love that. Street you first met. Me and Aaron would be Mr. and Mrs. Rolleston. That's what we named our cat after. Rolly. Yeah, Rolly. It's named after me.

After Rolleston Street. Rolleston, I don't mind that. My cousin didn't have a middle name or a surname. You've got to legally have a first and last. You've got to legally. So when she was an adult, she picked a surname out of a book. Then she got married and got a new one anyway. I think on your birth certificate, you don't have to have a middle name,

but I think you have to have a surname and a first name. So I'm calling BS on that. Maybe it was a surname they didn't connect with. Somebody said Diane from before. Remember Diane from before? She's got to pick a new name. Should have joined the Vander Stuarts. Diane Vander Stuart.

Diane Vander Stuart. Oh, I love that. You don't think it's a good name. Now you've got Vanderstuarts. Diane Vanderstuart. Diane Vanderstuart. Oh, I love that. You don't think it's a good name. Now you've got a bit of Dutch heritage. And she's getting a whole new family. Yeah. Love that. And a huge whole new family too.

That Vanderstuart was a big blended family. Can we connect those families together, please? Auntie Diane. Would they have to invite Diane around for Christmas? Yeah, but Diane sound like a hoot. Yeah. Why don't you come to my house for Christmas? We heard from the person with the 90s, 2000s name.

Yep. It was Vicky. Vicky. But not short for Victoria, shortened to Vicky. Vicky. It was actually Vicky. Vicky. I imagine two Ks and an I.

Yeah. Yeah, two Ks and an I. Fletch, Fart and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Well, our silly little pole today. Do you save up for big ticket items? Or just blimmin' get them and deal with it later? Like afterpay or credit card. That's a tomorrow problem. How big an item are we talking? Well, I was imagining something like a TV, right? Yeah, a fridge.

Not a good-looking new car. That's pretty big. That too, that too. That's big. I don't know that, I don't really know anyone that saves up for a car and then buys it straight out the gate. I feel like everyone pays off a car.

I saved up for my Jimny. Did you? Yeah. I was like, I bet I can do this. Sade's like, just put it out the gate. I feel like everyone pays off a car. I saved up for my Jimny. Did you? Yeah. I was like, I bet I can do this. Sade's like, just put it on the mortgage. I'm like, yeah, you play fast and loose with that mortgage, sweetheart. Well, 66% of people responding said that they do save up. The majority.

Yeah. And then 34% pay it off. Were you guys really surprised by that? That really shocks me because things like lay-by, like the online lay-by, afterpay, there's heaps of them. I use them all. The stats on afterpaying credit cards in New Zealand are ridiculous. But afterpay on a, I'm talking thousands of dollars.

Say you bought a massive TV and it was four grand so that's four payments of a thousand dollars, right? I don't think that's after pay as a big item. Because then you've got to have four lots of one thousand dollars. Don't you have like a limit

on how much you can after pay? Oh, really? There's some that do that where you can only spend up to a certain amount. So the maximum amount per transaction is $1,500, while the outstanding account limit is up to $2,000.

Yeah, so the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's from an Australian site, so I don't know if it's different in New Zealand. No, it is that, because I think if you go on your Afterpay account, it says, like, how much money you have left to spend using Afterpay. So you can't just spend, like... But you could finance a big TV with whoever you buy it off, right?

You can do those like 36 months interest free. With GE. Yeah, stuff like that. Wow, but most people will save. That's really... That surprised me. I'm not a saver.

I'm not a saver for anything. Oh, how's this? Caitlin's messaged in. Yeah. I... I... Ascribe? Subscribe?

No, I ascribe? Ascribe. Like, ah, scribe. Ah, but one word. Didn't he use subscribe? Am I about to learn a new word? Like, ah, and then the singer scribe. Yes, but as one word.

New Zealand rapper scribe. It's a verb. Regards something as being due to a cause. See, I think she's used it. I think she means I subscribe. He ascribed Jane's short temper to her upset stomach. No. As the example.

Deuce. I feel really bad that we've just, Caitlin, used the word. Also, I subscribe to the floor. I subscribe. That's what it meant. Maybe it auto-corrected. Well, no, but it also means regard a quality as belonging to or regard a text quote or work of art as being produced by

or belonging to. But if she wrote subscribe and missed one of the letters, autocorrect would totally go ascribe just looking where the keys are at. Read the sentence and we'll see if it's a scribe or a subscriber. I subscribe to the Jay-Z school of spending. Oh, subscribe. Yeah, I subscribe to the Jay-Z school of spending. You can't afford it until you can afford it twice.

Oh, wow. That sounds like my mum's rule of spending too. But then that means you have to save up to buy enough to buy two cars, but you're buying one car. Oh, that's... But we all don't have hit album sale money, do we? No, Jay-Z's got...

Jay-Z's money advice. Jay-Z's looking at something worth a million dollars. He's like, I can afford it twice, but I've just begun to doubt my purchases. Yeah, yeah. Why not? And Beyonce swoops in. She's like, I can afford it.

He's like. Nikita writes, I actually save up for things I like, but then use lay-by or after pay to then just pay it off so it's not one big lump sum of money going out of the account. Right. So you've got a little bit of leeway. Okay, I get that. I get what you're doing there too. You've of the account. Right. So you've got a little bit of leeway. Okay, I get that. I get what you're doing there too.

You've got the money. Yeah. But you're also just keeping a little emergency bit on the side. It's also psychological, isn't it? It hurts sometimes to see big transactions go, whereas we just see regular little ones. Ash said, I'd rather be broke for a little while than have the thing I want

than have to add in another expense into my fortnightly budget. Yeah. Whip it off like a band-aid. I find it easier to pay something off and then save up only during the interest-free policy.

Then the commitment is made. Yeah. If you're just saving, it's too tempting to skim off and buy other little things. That's from Angie. Look at all these

skills of thought. God, I know. I'm saving. If I save, I can actually think about if I really do want and need that item, especially if it's a big purchase.

So you're saving for something and then along the road, the journey of saving, you might often think, I actually don't need that. I could use this money for something else. It's so grown up and sensible, isn't it? Yeah, God. Is any of this sinking in? No, because I'm the opposite.

I'll go like, I want that, and then I'll buy it, and then it will sit there unused for ages, and then I'll go, how much can I get for it on Trade Me? Yeah, that's true. And you take the loss, and you chalk it all up to experience. Yes. And we're just waiting. Yes, Samantha's about to let Ed into the room,

and I can see Samantha's cat in the background. Hope that stays around. Yes, on Zoom. The Zoom star. So just quickly, he'll play Sky Stadium Wellington on the 2nd of Feb next year and Eden Park on the 10th of Feb. Now, tickets on sale Wednesday.

The pre-sale's Monday. And I think we've got Ed Sheeran now. Hello, how are you, friend? Yeah, all right. Sorry, we're really coming in hot. You're just chilling, relaxing, and we're screaming at Samantha about her cat. No, no, no. I'm having one of those months.

So you know when people are like, you were right, and you're like, yeah. And then you're like, am I? Well, this is what you said the other day, Ivor. I've stopped lying. Stop lying. I've stopped lying. I've given up. The girls at the gym are always like, how was that?

I'm like, horrible. I'm 40. My body hurts. No, I'm not. I don't want to stop lying. I've given up. The girls at the gym are always like, how was that? I'm like, horrible. I'm 40. My body hurts. No, I'm not. I don't want to be here. How are you guys keeping? You good? We're good.

Can't complain. We've only just, we're finally, none of us have had coronavirus yet, but it's finally here. And we've finally admitted that New Zealand is going to get it. So we're just waiting. Well, I've had it twice. Oh, mate! All of my friends have had it two or three times.

Someone I know had it, got better, and got it two weeks later. No! What? Different strains? Have you had... England has everything. It's an absolute soup. A soup of COVID.

Now, exciting news that we've just announced. You're coming to New Zealand, Auckland and Wellington. Yes, I am. You love a bit of New Zealand, don't you? Yeah, you know. He's going to be honest. He's finally going to tell us he doesn't. After all these, he's sold enough albums to tell us he's a Kiwi.

I grew up, I grew up, so my, there's a, we grew up next to a family of Kiwis and there were three of them. One of whom is best friends with my wife. One of whom was best friends with me and one of whom is best friends with my brother. There's always been that sort of affinity to New Zealand. And then when I started making music professionally, I was so shocked that people from outside of my own country might be interested. And the first people that were, were Kiwis and Aussies and going over there, you know, flying halfway across the world to a place that's so far from my hometown and having

people accept me more than they do back home. You know, I really, really felt the love and thankfully there's been like a mutual love over the last 11 years and I'm really excited to get back Do you know our producer Jared was telling us he found you on the internet before like you had a record deal that would get your CDs to New Zealand he had a friend called Felix in the UK

and he said to Felix, here's the money I'll send you the money, this is where Ed Sheeran sells his things, go and get it Felix took the money, never sent him the CD. So, that isn't, so the family I just talked about, the older brother who's my brother's best friend is called Felix. That's not the Felix, is it?

It's not the Felix. Oh, Jared's saying no. He doesn't think so. No. I mean, I think we just, I think we blanket ban all Felix's to be totally honest. We can't be, we can't trust the Felix as far as we can throw them. Um, yes. He's on board. He's on board. to be totally honest. We can't trust him. We can't trust the Felix as far as we can throw them. Yes. He's on board. He's on board.

So how is this tour going to be different? Because I'm imagining tours are going to be different since the big worldwide tours pre-2020. Well, do you know what? I wouldn't be taking it on tour

if it was inherently different. I mean, we're basically test driving it in the uk and europe which is pretty back to normal for shows and football games and stuff like that so i'm hoping it's going to be the same by the time we get there but in terms of like the show uh it's completely in the rounds um and there's not a we've managed to make a stage that has no sight lines cut so it's just that all all the speakers are suspended and it's make a stage that has no sight lines cut. So it's just that all the speakers are suspended and it's just a stage that revolves this bit that goes up

and the bits come down. I won't give away too much, but it's a huge financial risk. Of course, if suddenly there's another touch wood, if there's another thing, then we're in trouble. But it's an amazing it's an amazing stage and i can't wait to get onto i'm kind of nervous about it man because i've basically um i've got this i've got i'm i'm in i'm in this thing right now that i have to come to every single day and i am doing tour rehearsals in the evening and i'm going to be doing warm-up

shows and i just basically haven't i haven't played a proper show in two and a half years so I just need to get back a lot of things but by the time I come to New Zealand I'll have been on tour for six to eight months and warm for us yeah are you are you doing that are you doing the center stages like Adele did that to sneak her out in a suitcase do you remember that yeah yeah yeah it's a different thing it's a different stage to Adele's, but it is essentially in the round as well. How are you getting into the middle? Are they going to put you in a big Adele suitcase

and sneak you in? There's just different ways of opening gigs. And I remember we had this discussion on the Divide Tour of whether it's like, lights out, I come up, and it's that thing. Or what we did on the Divide Tour is they filmed me from the dressing room. And there's a kind of, if you're at a gig and there's like two minutes of pre-roll before, and you're like, oh, I need to get my drink and I need to get back to my seat.

And there's just filming from the dressing room. And if you think I'm walking out from a stadium, that's at least five minutes of walking. That's five minutes of time that people can get to their seats and ready for the first song rather than just bam jetpack because this guy in new zealand's invented these jetpacks and it's not actually terrifying the heights though yeah he's literally saying that he wants to go more casual more sort of down to earth and your your first suggestion is jetpack it's not about being down I mean, there's nothing down to earth about walking out. A stadium tour. You've got me on love. I'm just saying for me, like, it worked for me on the divide to build suspense, you walking to the stage,

because people go, oh, we can see him and we're going to follow him and that's him going to the stage rather than just, bam. That's my preference. Do you reckon after two and a half years off, you'll be feeling a little bit nervous? Do you still get butterflies in your tummy before you perform? Yeah, but I think by Wellington and Auckland, I'll be feeling a little bit nervous.

Dublin's my first gig. That's going to be the proper butterflies. And then once those are over, we're good. Right. Nice. Okay, well, suck it, Ireland. You get the warm-ups. Yeah.

We get the headline. We'll have the absolute man who's hitting his tour peak during it. We're really looking forward to it. Take care of yourself and start telling it how it is. Don't sugarcoat it because no one needs that. I can't wait for March to be over. Yeah, good man.

That's a great first step in telling people to f*** off. Ed Sheeran, thanks so much for joining us. Absolutely. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well,

the mother of a Victoria University student who's living in the halls of residence pays the $452 a week. Don't know if mum and dad pay for...

$452 a week. $452 a week. $452 a week. $452 a week. Oh my God! Ah! Are you kidding me? How? What? $452. Like, my God. Ah! That'd be hard to take. Are you kidding me? How?

What? $152. Like, I never did the halls, but I didn't know it was that expensive. Halls were always an expensive option, but not that expensive. Because you're getting food, right? Yeah. Food and board and... My rent was $140 when I was a student.

And no, I wasn't a hall of residence. That was for flatting. You had to get your own food. But Wellington rents, though, are nuts. I mean, they're crazy all over the country. Yeah, there was a couple of years ago that they were saying students were living out in like Wainuiomata and Lower Hutt and stuff because they couldn't get any flats or anything in town.

You could flat cheaper than that, right? But it's your first year. You want to make some friends, do the uni hall thing. If you're 18 years old, you've never lived on your own, it's always a good option. Well, this mother of this student is not happy after her child

shared a photo of the food they were being served. It looked very reminiscent of, do you remember when people were sharing their bad MIQ meals? Yeah. And it's like a polystyrene container and they're just like, what? Yeah, so it's a pack. There's white rice, your classic carrot, corn, pea, frozen veg.

Oh, my God, what a mix. A orange sauce and it's either tofu or slabs of butter. It's tofu, I think. It's tofu. That must be the vegetarian option. That's a meat-free one by the looks of it. It would be meat-free. But it looks like some kind of gravy slash stew. So the meat-free option is just the meat option without the meat ever put on.

Yeah. God, I mean, we have our war. We have our ongoing battles, myself and the vegetarian and vegan communities. But I do feel sorry for them when their options are just the meat options without the meat. And it's unseasoned tofu. That is just like a block of tofu cut up, shoved up. Yeah. So she wrote a complaint.

This is the mum did. The mum wrote a complaint to the university saying that it was food fit for a rabbit on a diet. I'll play mum. She said the unknown meat they provide is hard, dry, chewy, and only worth the rubbish bin. Vegetables are frozen mixed veggies. I don't mind. A little frozen veg. Rice most days of the weeks. And then they say leftover... Oh my god,

there's another one. There's another one which is the frozen pea, carrot, corn. Oh, that looks disgusting. Some kind of slop. You would keep better food in prison, right? Yes. You would definitely. To be fair, she said it's her daughter is used to this. So her daughter

boarded at high school and is used to mass produced meals, catering like that. And she said this is on another level. Vic Uni did email back saying they're incredibly short staffed because of COVID. Yeah. Which is why they were unable to deliver food

to their normal standard of quality. But, I mean, look at that. There's a why. I don't think she is a vegetarian. I think she just got COVID-1. That's some kind of animal. I don't even know if those have been roasted fully, have they? Yeah, that potato looks like it will still be glossy on the inside.

You get a bit of feed at like a local roast shop. Yeah, you probably would. If they're short staffed and they can't provide the food, would it be better for them to be like, hey, the food portion's being refunded, soz, but mac is in roast shop. There's more photos. You've got to look at them.

There's some kind of... Oh, that's like a really sick looking pad thai. What's up? What's up? Some noodles. I don't want to eat that. But do you know what I mean? If you were paying $452 a week,

a week, you're not going to then go, okay, well, I I mean? If you were paying $452 a week, a week, you're not going to then go, okay, well I'll go and get some food somewhere else if I'm hungry. No. Executive intern, you did the hauls, didn't you? Yep. What was the food like at yours? Pretty bland. There was a lot of

mashed potato. I love mashed potato. Oh yeah. Yum. Because it's easy to make in bulk, isn't it? Yes. The ratio is always like two-thirds carb, one-third remaining. This is why people get the fresher five. The fresher five. Well, for me, it was the fresher 15.

I was going to say, five's what I fluctuate between morning and night. That's how much water I drink a day. Five's the rookie numbers. I think it ought to be 15. I think for me, when I could leave home, it could be you can eat whatever you want at dinner, like pizza, every night. That's the first year out.

A, you're eating at the halls of residence or pizza. Yeah. No one's telling you what to eat. And you can just drink whenever you want. Yeah, absolutely. On a school night. I know, I've got class tomorrow, but I might go and buy a pack of Flames,

which were the cheapest beers at the time that really packed a bit of kick. But you had to drink a mice gold because that tastes like trash. But on a Tuesday, just get, yeah. I'd get a goon of Kristoff, and you're like, think about the sugar in that orange juice.

And then I would get budget pasta and a tin of tomatoes, and there was din. But how do we feel about mum? I love this. But I wonder how the daughter feels about this. But how do we feel about mum? I love this. But I wonder how the daughter feels about that. Because mum's probably paying, right?

Or helping pay, maybe. Or watching her daughter go into horrific amounts of debt to pay. In this article, they don't name the student, but they say mum's last name to protect her identity.

I'm like, I'm pretty sure people are going to figure out your mum's. Absolutely. Although the other students would probably be like on side with this because they're probably sick of this food as well. Oh, I love it when mums go to figure out your mum's. Absolutely. Although the other students would probably be like on side with this because they're probably sick of this food as well.

Oh, I love it when mums go to bed and they never stop. They do it all your adult life. I think like two years ago, my mum, I was on TV quite a bit. I actually just texted my mum to say, can I tell this story? She said yes and gave me screenshots. Patsy wants to relive it. She's like, not only tell the story, show them the story, Hayley. Wait, so this

happened two years ago and your mum went in to fight for you? Yeah, so I had just recently started popping up on TV a lot and I was getting a lot of messages, predominantly from men, older men, just gross stuff, really, really gross stuff. I told you what this particular

man had said to me. Which is weird because I've been on TV a little bit and no one sends me gross. You get nothing. You haven't got anything, have you? Nothing. Nothing. More cleavage. More cleavage.

More cleavage? Yeah. More cleave. More? Anyway. Is this the moment you realise you're a minger? It is, isn't it? Oh no, I knew I was a minger.

I get messages all the time from gross, sick men. But I'd seem achievable, you see. So I would have thought the gross men would have been like, I'm a fish in a barrel. Yeah, you're in reach. Grab that minger. If I was a fish, by the way, I'd be a minger. Get on the line.

Should I call a big minger today? They'd throw you back, eh? Mingers aren't good eating, mate. Chuck it back. Or use you for burly. Oh, I know that burly me. That bit burly. That burly me.

Wow. Oh, my God. I forgot he sent me another message. Anyway, I'm just reading this.ly me. They'd be burly. They'd burly me. Wow. Oh, my God, I forgot he sent me another message. Anyway, I'm just reading this. Okay, so you get a gross message. So I'd be on TV. He sent me a message that was like, hey, Hayley, beep, beep, beep, about all these things.

Like, couldn't even kind of roughly say what was said in the message on radio. No, no, no, I told this before and I choked. I was drinking at the time and I choked. Yes, and this was on a week where it had happened a lot and I was getting a lot of it. I got really, really sick of it.

So I would screenshot just the message, not their name and share it to social media to be like, this is what I receive all the time. I hate it. My mum then went

on his Instagram profile, found his full name, went on his Facebook, via his Facebook, found his mother from a photo, found her Facebook profile, went on this man's mother's profile, and then my mum messaged the mum

from one mother to another. And said, this is what your son's sending my daughter. Sent a screenshot of the thing that he had said and said, hello, Carol, I am the mother of a young woman on TV who's been sent this disgusting message

by your perverted son. And then said... Oh, and Carol's just like... And what did the mum say? She never responded. Oh. But there would have been a chance. Was it read?

She never responded. It was read. Oh, okay, so she knew about it. It was read within like a couple of hours. But my mum absolutely went out because she was just like, don't message my daughter like this. Yeah.

But she just went one step further and went straight to the mother. What's the rule? If you wouldn't say it to The Rock, you don't say it to a woman. Is that the rule? If you wouldn't say it to Mike Tyson, don't say it to a woman. Yeah. Wow.

Oh my god, this is so funny. Anyway, but my mum went in for me. Good on her. And I loved it. My nana once told me, she said, this is so funny. Anyway, but my mum went in for me. Good on her. And I loved it. My nana once told me, she said, you get older and your kids are adults, but your kids are always your kids. Oh, my God, absolutely. So we wanted to open up the phone lines this morning and ask, when did mum go into bat for you?

Or dad, are we taking? We'll take dad as well. Oh, yeah, dad does love going into bat. And, you know, there are times when, like, say you could be sick, but mum will ring your work. How do we feel about that? Because that's happened. I'm all for that. That's happened.

I'm all for that. Wait, so mum was sick and she would ring the network? We know someone that's a mum rang up because they were sick. How old were they at the time? I don't know, like 20s. In their 20s. You're old enough that you have to call in now yourself for work, sick. Yes.

Not your mum. Absolutely you are. But 0800 DARS at M. We want to take your calls now. Give us a call. You can text 9696. When did your mum or dad get involved and go into Batview as an adult? Obviously, when you're an adult, yeah.

Oh, yeah, not as a kid. No, when you're a kid, that's their job. Well, a mother of a Vic Uni student emailed the university on behalf of her adult daughter because the food at her halls of residence, for which she pays $452 a week, she labelled food fit for a rabbit on a diet. I think the complaint's justified, to be honest.

Oh, we've seen the photos of the food. A lot of your Maggi pea carrot corn, which is absolutely fine, but some slop sauce. Sometimes you need that mum power on a complaint though. They're not going to take the students seriously. You need a little bit of mum.

Mum will get this sorted. Well, your mum sent another mum a message, didn't she? Yeah, a man messaged me on social media, something very gross. And my mum messaged his mum saying, don't do that.

We want to know when mum's gone into bat for you as an adult. Somebody messaged that they didn't know. My mum called my boss to tell him I wouldn't be going into work on Monday because I just had a baby and I didn't know I was pregnant until I was giving birth. What? And so I was like, no one's going to believe this. Mum's

like, I'll take care of it. Whoa. That is wild. I think that's got to be a call that you make Surely Hey boss You're not going to believe this So get this Friday night I'm sitting at home

All of a sudden Pain And I've wet my pants But it felt a little bit different And this is what happened Wow Yeah When I got married at 32

My dad used his speech at my wedding To passively aggressively slam my cousin for scheduling his week for two weeks, his wedding for two weeks after ours. His parents had done the same thing to my parents. Oh, this sounds like there's a bit of animosity there. Danny, when did mum go into bat for you? Hey, guys. So I was around, what, I was 12, 13, and I was riding on the school bus home,

and I had gotten some flops and some kids on the bus just because I was new and some shit went down. Anyway, I got off the bus, obviously upset, and they did too. Mum saw that, so she trapped us in the car, followed the girls home until they were close to the house, got out of the car. Now, if you think a mama bear, South African woman yelling at you, this is what went down.

She walked them home and pretty much tattled on them. Oh, yeah. Marched them. Danny, thanks for your call. Some more messages. Somebody said that I had to go into an HR meeting over not filling out a daily planner at work well enough. My mum came with me.

I was 24. And when they asked, do you have anything to ask? My mum sat there and shredded my regional manager. We left. Guess what? No problems after that. Oh, wow. Yeah. Parents get things done. Guess what? No problems after that. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Parents get things done. The power of the parent. Yeah. My dad refuses to come and see me at work because he might kill the bullying a-hole who can't handle

strong women. That's what he calls my boss. Oh, wow. Someone said, I'm currently dealing with a halls of residence awful meal situation as well. My daughter sent me a photo

and well, I can tell you I'm a mum on a charge. Get it, mum. Yes. The mum's out there. Do it. My mum went into bat for me,

was working with a real D-bag, handed her my notice after a close relative of my wife died, a rung to say I need to go home for the day to support my wife and pick up my kids. Boss texts me saying, leave the ute and don't worry about the two weeks notice. We're busy and your wife needs to grow up.

I was 100 k's from home so mum came and got me then drove into the yard and walked in. I was like, mum and she walked in and absolutely went at the boss. Yay for mums. Yay for mums and dads but it's often mums that will absolutely

give them a new one. My mum told off my team leader in GV. What's GV? I have asked what GV is but they haven't responded. Team leader in GV? Because they insisted on having meetings till 10 o'clock on a Saturday night when I was getting up to milk cows

at 4 o'clock on a Sunday morning. I was so embarrassed because it was in front of everybody, but it was badass. And guess who didn't have any more? Is what Anna's just said it is. GV is Gloria Vale. What? Yeah, but of course you're having meetings at night

and milking cows in the morning. That's Gloria Vale all over it. Wow. Oh, wow. A Gloria Vale TV. Are you out of Gloria Vale? They must be out of Gloria Vale. They. There's Gloria Vale all over it. Wow. Oh, wow. A Gloria Vale TV. Are you out of Gloria Vale? They must be out of Gloria Vale. They've got a phone now.

They do. Wow. And congratulations to you. For getting out. For getting out. Yeah. And listening to this. Even network.

I'm just wondering what it's like. Yeah. They're like, we didn't even have the radio in there. And now they say things and they talk about their privates. All sorts. Before I heard it in the day, we were talking about creme eggs up the bum. We've covered it all this morning. Welcome.

Welcome to the well. It's a crash course into the real world. It is. Is our show? They're the biggest ZM fan and oven boy. Explore about what's in there. ZM's Fletchchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZDM's Fact of the Day is about the International Space Station. Without processes to control the temperature aboard the International Space Station, it would go from negative 157 degrees Celsius to 121 degrees Celsius on the daily. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and it's not just pink bats. It's not insulation. Are you sure?

It's not pink bats. It's not insulation. Are you sure? It's not pink bats. Well, here on Earth, when you insulate your house, you kind of keep air in and, you know, keep the heat in, the heat generated in, because if you don't have insulation, it snakes out through the wall. Yeah. Well, in space, it's more of like a radiation. Okay.

So you keep your heat out. You know those silver survival blankets? Yeah. Those things are basically the sort of insulation that the International Space Station has. Aluminized mylar. So there's that, and then there's some Kapton underneath,

which is a heavier layer, and that protects the mylar. And it keeps the radiation both in and out. Okay. Yeah. Because when they're in the sunlight, they'd get up to overboiling because the sun's just streaming. You'd fry, wouldn't you?

You'd fry yourself. Yeah, it hits the outside of it and heats it up no end. And when you're out of the sun, when you're hidden from the sun, plunges to extreme cold. Question, what hits the outside of it and heats it up no end. And when you're out of the sun, when you're hidden from the sun, plunges to extreme cold. Question, what about the windows? Windows are a huge problem on the International Space Station. It's why there's not more of them. How many are there?

I don't know exactly how many there are. But not as many as you'd like to see space. Because you might be thinking there could be a room that is just... Observatory. A thick glass Kelly Tarleton's glass area. But they're saying no because it would just like

the heat in there would fluctuate insanely. Like if you were in there and you went into the sun you'd be boiled. Yeah. So the window's a massive

six windows. Yeah. And a direct nadir viewing window. Right. And they have shutters to protect from contamination and collisions. Oh, like lovely, like Italian shutters. Yeah.

I think it's Venlery. The ones with the little white. Venlery. Rebind services. Auckland Dread Company. What a window covering place. There's always love of a jingle. Oh, they love a jingle.

They love it. Yeah. At window treatments. Yes. I don't think that's where the space station is getting their blinds. At window treatments. At window treatments.

No, they go, Van Lurie blind services. Zero gravity, a blind wouldn't work. Because we've got those Roman blinds? Yes. Yeah, Roman blinds. Ven. Because we've got those Roman blinds? Yes. Yeah, Roman blinds. Venetians are the slats that turn.

Yeah. Romans are the folded ones. Folded, that go like tiff, tiff, tiff. Yeah, yeah, you pull it and then you just let it go and it goes flipp, flipp, flipp. And it flops down to the place. That wouldn't work in space, would it? Because there's no gravity.

You'd let it go and it would go flop. All around. All over the place, yeah. It would. Just stay up there. Well, looking at the photos, they don't have any blinds on those. No, tiny little windows too, eh?

The windows are smaller than you thought they were. No nice shears or anything like that to block out the sunlight? No. Tinting? No. They tinted their windows? Got some tints? Frosting?

Yeah. Some of that frosting you put on a bathroom window? Oh, yeah, to stop the pervs. Stop the pervs looking at you while you're going past? The last thing you want to be is in the shower on the International Space Station and some creeps looking at you all lathering up. It's a perv from Russia walking by. Yeah, Russian cosmonauts are like,

what, I do a spacewalk now. It's like, you can do the spacewalk anytime. I'm showering, which is just wipes. Because if you showered in space, you'd drown. Yeah. Wow, space is weird, eh? Space is a weird old place. Weird old place.

So today's fact of the day is if it wasn't for insulation, and I'm not talking pink bats, above the International Space Station, the temperature would go from 157 degrees below Celsius to 121 degrees Celsius on the daily. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, researchers out of the Tel Aviv University have revealed

that people that use pictures or like GIFs. I love a GIF. It's GIF. I refuse to say GIF. GIF is a very strong abrasive cleaning agent. The guy that invented GIFs corrected us all to GIFs. He's wrong. It'd be like us calling you Ailey.

Ailey. And your mum says, oh no, I said Hayley was my intention when I named this thing. It's just like that. It's just like that. So if you use GIFs, pictures, or emojis in emails, you are seen to the receiver of the email as being less powerful. Absolutely. I don't use emojis in emails.

No, no, no, no. It's silly. You use emojis in a chat. Would you ever go a colon bracket? No, you put an emoji in an email. I do a colon emojis in emails. No, no, no, no. It's silly. You use emojis in a chat. Would you ever go a colon bracket? No, you put an emoji in an email. I do a colon bracket every now and then. Well, if you're writing an email from your phone, I would put it in.

I don't write emails from my phone. I refuse. Sometimes I'll use a colon bracket, smile, to lighten an email if I think I'm coming across too. Like a passag. Yeah, a little passag. First gen emojis. Hey guys, still waiting on this.

All good. But when am I expecting it? Colon. Oh my God, no. No, no, no. They're not reading that as anything on then. So hundreds of participants took part in the study. And yeah, across all the experiments,

people rated people using words as more powerful than those using pictures or emojis. So if you want to communicate, if you're working and it's all professional, no emojis or GIFs. I can't hear GIF and not want to correct you to GIF. No, we've been correctly pronouncing that for years now, eh, the GIF? Well, yes, the guy that invented it came out and said, this is my intentions.

And I said, well, you are the inventor. I'll respect that. I would maybe accept, without too much judgment, some smiley faces, some, you know, some sad faces, some angry faces.

But once it starts to get to the silly emojis, I think I'm out. Right. I think I do start to lose a bit of respect. You know what I mean? Because they even tested work Zoom calls and people that may have a, not be

on camera, but have an emoji as an avatar. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Or a silly picture and that also made people less respect them and think they were less powerful. Yeah. How do people perceive you as being more powerful? Big words.

Yeah, use some flash words. Yeah. Hey, guys, wondering if we could meet up at 10 a.m. I need to pontificate. Yes. I'd just be like, who is this? Shift F7 brings up the thesaurus still, does it? Yeah.

I like the word shift F7. It'll give you some smarter sounding options. Now, I'm hypothesising We might come up against I mean Yeah You know what I mean It's pretty good

Methodologically We need to work out Exactly our approach Yes If someone emailed you that You'd just be like Who is this Oh yeah mate

I've been on LinkedIn I know how people Try to use big words It seems a whole lot More important than they are Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Alright

Suckers Listen up You like this controlling I'm listening Yeah yeah yeah more important than they are. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. All right, suckers, listen up. You like this controlling? I'm listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel dominated. Yeah, I'm dominating. Hey, listen up, babies. So I cooked recently in the slow cooker our crock pot,

although it's not of the crock pot brand, but it's one of those things that's, you know, crock pots become synonymous with the slow cooker. And it's not of the crock pot brand, but it's one of those things that's, you know, crock pots become synonymous with the slow cooker. And it's been in the cupboard for a while, and I don't know how this happened. It's a mystery to everybody. The crock pot itself, the crock that sits inside the slow cooker, has got a massive crack in it.

Oh, dear. Yeah. Mine's metal. What's yours? Crock. Yeah. It has to be crock. Ceramic. Your slow cooker's metal. What's yours? Croc. Yeah. It has to be croc. Ceramic.

Your slow cooker is metal. Yeah, my slow cooker is like a Teflon non-stick. Oh. Kind of thing. Mine's like obviously metal on the outside, but the croc. The croc is croc. The actual croc. Oh, wow.

That's why it's ceramic. It's made of ceramic. Wow, I must have cut a financial budget corner there. Yeah. It really feels like you have. I think I know where you got yours from. It was a pretty good brand one. It was like $100 or something.

Is that how much they are? They're not, like, crockpots are never, like, super expensive. No. You would have a small crockpot? No, it's not. Medium. It's medium. I want one of those big, oval ones.

And it does, like, three chickens in hand. Yes. Yeah. So, I'm in the market for a new crockpot. Right. Now, I want one that actually slow cooks because I did some research and the only difference between high and low on a slow cooker is how long it takes to get to the same temperature.

Oh, okay. Whereas I want low to be a lower heat, a lower and a slower heat. Hit a lower heat and stay there. Yeah. I don't want a high heat on my slow cooker. Right. Because if I'm putting a slow cooker on, it's an all-day event. It's not one of those ones that you chuck on just before lunch

for five or six hours. But even if you put it on for eight hours at low, it's still going to cook it lower and slower. No, it doesn't. It just takes longer. And the difference between how long it takes To get to that top heat Is not much Now don't come at me

With an instant pot Because we've got one of those But they I was just going to say Is an instant pot A multi cooker Yeah we've got an instant pot And it's cool

And it can do like A day's worth of cooking In 45 minutes But there's also It's more Hands on You can't have anything Burnt on the bottom of the pot

Or it goes I can't cook It's on the bottom of the pot or it goes, I can't cook. It's burnt. I'm a baby pot. Where? See, well, why don't you, it sounds like you need to go to an op shop and buy one from the 80s. I would love an original,

because I had this chat with my mum and my nan recently. So you've got three generations of absolute crockpot fiends. We love a bit of crock. And my nan was saying her biggest regret is getting rid of her one frompot fiends. We love a bit of crock. And my nan was saying her biggest regret is getting rid of her one from like the 70s. Well mum mum's got one in the pantry and it looks like it used to be white

and now it's yellow and like a little bit of cracking in it. 80s plastic. Yeah like 80s or 90s plastic. They don't make them like they used to. Well those were actually slow cookers. The low meant low and the high meant high. Yeah, but it also looks like it could be a fire hazard. Totes.

Totes a massive fire hazard. Not the kind of thing you want to leave on your bench for like eight hours unattended. I wouldn't be doing that. I'm trying to see if you can, you know, like hop on Trade Me. You might be able to find a vintage one. Like a retro, like an actual Crock-Pot brand Crock-Pot. Why don't you get on a Facebook? There'll be a Facebook page, like Slow Cook in New Zealand group or something.

Oh, yeah, that sounds like a page you'd absolutely be on. Yeah, and then they'd be like, I would recommend this one. Oh. Because, like, if it's a weekend slow cook, I'll do it with fire. Well, yeah, that's $18 on Trade Me. Look at that Crock-Pot. He literally said, classic quality, quote, they don't make them like they used to.

They don't make them. Is that a lovely orange I'm seeing? It's an orange with a brown ceramic inner. Of course it is. What kind of lid's it got on it? Original lid or refitted lid? OG lid. OG lid.

Glass lid, tidy condition, handle missing, doesn't matter. Don't tell everybody what the keywords are to search that. Is that in the awkward area? Oh, okay. Well, if you're on Trade Me, get on and boost that listing. No, I'm not travelling to Napier. I'm not paying postage. No, you just get Carwen's mum to pick it up for you.

No, you can buy now $19. Carwen, would your mum pick up a crockpot of Trade Me for us? I reckon she'd love it. You tell her it's for you. She'll do anything for you, not me. Yes. She won't do nothing for me. She does quite like you, Vaughan, so maybe she would.

I will say this, Vaughan. It's only a 2.8 litre. Not big enough. It's not big enough. That's not big enough for three chickens. What if my Croatian friends come over and demand a chicken each? You know how Croatians will smash a whole chicken? I'd love a chuck.

And you're like, damn. I'm not Croatian. Oh, you've got a bit of something. You could eat a chuck. You've got a bit of unidentified Croatian blood in those veins, I reckon. Croatians come on. Well, they're like, can we dig up your backyard? You're like, why?

And they're like, we're looking for gum. I'm like, calm it down, Croatians. You're really, really going on those stereotypes. There's no coldy gum back there. Keep us updated with your crockpot adventures. I don't reckon we need to be updated. I don't think we need to be updated. At least you're going to cook something in it.

With your Croatian friends. If you're going to cook something in it for us. I'm absolutely going to. Well, if it's big enough. I need a big. What's the biggest one you can get? Yeah, a six litre crockpot. The thing is, back in the 80s and 90s,

food portions were a lot smaller. So that was big. Yeah, and they were a lot smaller too as a result. Good morning, Soundkeeper Owls. Good morning. Hello. All right. So, we went through yesterday's guesses before.

Some good guesses. Yes, the comb. The finger going through the comb. So specific. I loved it. Yeah. Was it a comb or hairbrush? Yeah, hairbrush.

Hairbrush. And then there was the clicking of batteries into the back of a mouse. I know. Again, very specific. Very specific. but I guess you've got to be. You've got to be honest and genuine. It's not going to be something easy, is it? No. Imagine if after all this it was like, it's a door shutting.

I'm not saying. Don't look at me, don't look at me. All right, Olivia, good morning. Good morning. You managed to get through and you get a guess at our secret sound, all thanks to Neon. $50,000 is the current jackpot. That money is yours if you can tell us what the sound is.

All right. I think the sound is a lever arch folder, like a ring binder when you flick the lever out. Do you know, I hated those because I'm a lefty. Oh, me too. If you had refill in the thing, your left hand couldn't go anywhere because the ring binder bit was taking away.

Grow up and adapt. I know, I know. Who let me become a lefty? It's ridiculous. Do they do lefty ring binders? How would that work? No, because it would be bound on the right. Turn it upside down.

Yeah, I suppose so. Well, it's too late now, isn't it? Did you used to put the ringlets on the refill? You can buy a left-handed binder. It's on Amazon. That's a game changer. I don't want to be going to primary school with a special binder, though, do I? Stand out even more.

My heel's upside down. All right, that's a good guess, though. Yeah. Yep, feeling confident. I can hear your confidence. She is confident. It's oozing confidence. Semi-specific.

I quite like it. But for 50 grand, we're locking it in. Olivia. That is not the secret sound. Well, Olivia, unfortunately for you, you don't win the $50,000, but we do have a 12-month Neon subscription. Every guest this week getting one. Congratulations.

Well, thank you. And all thanks to Neon. You can sign up for your free 14-day trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Another shot is coming up at 8 o'clock with our secret sound. Okay. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Crystal joins us.

Good morning, Crystal. Yeah, good morning. All right. Is this your first guess at secret sound ever? Yes, first guess ever. Even like previous seasons? Yes, first guess ever. Even like previous seasons? Previous, yep, first ever. Oh, wow.

Okay, well, this is the secret sound. First guess ever, but no pressure. If you can tell us what it is, you get $50,000 cash. Okay. Well, I was thinking that you know a washing powder box? The little cardboard tab that you pull to open it?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It kind of sounds like that. It's got like a perforated zigzag edge and you go... Very satisfying to pull. Very satisfying.

They very rarely come off at one. That's true. Okay. Oh, gosh, it sounds so much like it. Have you tried this? Yeah, I tried it this morning. Oh, this morning. Yeah, she just said, yeah.

Yeah, done your homework. Right. It's hard because obviously when you're recording The Secret Sound, you're getting the mic right in there. Big tight mic. It's not a bad guess, I'd say. Not a bad guess. Nice.

Crystal seems that they're on your side. Yeah. But for 50K, we're locking it in Crystal that is not the secret sound Crystal you don't go home empty handed though The first week of Secret Sound Every Honour guest gets a 12 month Neon subscription And that is all yours. Oh, thank you.

You can watch TV series and movies hand-picked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon, and there's a 14-day free trial. Neontv.co.nz. T's and C's. Apply. ZM's, Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley.