ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 16th May 2022

Episode Date: May 15, 2022

Don't say the 'B' word  Top 6: Takeaways  Paper Scissors Rock!  Retro Petrol Time Machine!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions apply. I spent the weekend, this weekend just gone. I didn't talk about this on air. Yeah. This is podcast content. If I talk about it on air,

I'll get in trouble. Yeah, so you're... I'll get in trouble with the wife. So everybody is not allowed to tell Shardae this. So do not tell... But then I know, even by saying,

don't tell her, people will be like, oh, I've got the power, I'm gonna tell her. So I probably just shouldn't have said anything. Seriously, don't though. That would be a real dick move to get you by saying, don't tell her, people will be like, I've got the power, I'm going to tell her. So probably just shouldn't have said anything. Seriously, don't, though. That would be a real dick move to get you in trouble. Don't be a dick.

Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. Spent the weekend with the father-in-law, and there was a bit of driving involved. Thankfully, it was a two-car parade, and I was in the other car because apparently the minute he got into the car, so this story comes to me from August, my youngest, who was in the car, he plugged his phone in to the car's system

and immediately started punishing Sade, my wife, and August, my daughter, his granddaughter, with his versions of songs. Hayley, I didn't know that you didn't know this, but my father-in-law is a prolific home recorder of covers. Fantastic. Yeah, he studies it. You've got Hayley's version.

He's got John's version. He's got John's version. Wow, okay. His lyrics are exactly the same. Well, arguably. And he sings different songs. Now, apparently his latest recording is from The Greatest Showman, the Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron musical.

Oh, some big songs on there. Big songs, and he doesn't let that intimidate him. He'll give them his God-honest best. Wow. So I heard one of those on the drive back from dinner, and I was like, that's cool. That's enough for me. Yeah.

Is this with his band from Thailand? No, this is just with the backing track. Okay. This one. We got his band in Thailand some big airplay, didn't we? We got a lot of views. There's a band. You may remember. Oh, if you. This is his band in Thailand some big airplay, didn't we? We got them a lot of views. He's a band. You may remember Arm Off You.

This is his band's Simply The Best. The Tina Turner cover. They all recorded their tracks at separate times. I call you when I need you. My heart's on fire. Fire. Fire. Fire.

Fire. Famously for his little. Come to me, come to me, wild and wild. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Famously for his syllables. Now, he always, when he records ones, plays it to me and he's like, do you reckon you'll play this one? But after we played this Tina Turner one and it got the most views their YouTube video had had. But I can't remember the name of the band. This is out of my email. I found the email. I can't remember. name of the band this is out of my email

I found the email yeah I can't remember they're bloody good I'm loving it so far so yeah he said oh do you think you'll play that one on the radio

I was like I don't know but when they arrived at the destination Indy and I got there first after how many hours of driving two and a half okay

he August got out of the car and she walked in and she was just like I am not going back in that car. So what, two and a half hours of... You're simply the best.

Well, he told me he's upwards since lockdown. Yeah. Because he had a stroke and this was a big part of his rehab. It just gave him something to concentrate on. Hand movement and everything with the editing and the recording. He reckons he's got 300 songs in his catalogue now so I would like to

wow apologise endlessly if you live in a high rise central Auckland apartment and your elderly Asian neighbour is recording karaoke at all hours of the day

um to add to his catalogue apartment walls famously not that sound oh no no no no no modern no, no, no. Modern build too, so it's made of a... This is just fantastic.

He loves it. What a great hobby. Also, what a great song to cover. Yeah. Great song, great song. In your eyes. I get lost. Maybe...

You could do a duet with him. Yeah. Oh, my God. Please tell John he would love to do a duet. He would love that. You could do Elton John and Kiki D, Don't Go Breaking My Heart. But he does not like being overshadowed. So you'll have to pull it back.

I'll pull back. You pull back. You pull back. We could totally get this happening. I would love to see that happening. I will check this with my wife, who is the gatekeeper on all things John, for two reasons. She doesn't want people laughing at him,

and she doesn't want people laughing at her. People weren't laughing at him last time. No, they were very supportive. Oh my God. This is such a good hobby to have. Yeah. He loves it anyway so there's no shortage

of the catalogue as it continues to grow and he listens to it endlessly. Yeah, he doesn't listen to other music. He doesn't. Why would you? See that too?

He's like, once you've got your own version of a song, why listen to the original? Yeah. It's incredible confidence because most people when they hear themselves sing they're like, once you've got your own version of a song, why listen to the original? It's incredible confidence. Because most people, when they hear themselves sing, they're like, oh, my God, turn it off.

It's like actors that can't even watch their own movies. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, what is she doing with her mouth? Yeah, get it out of there. No, no, he absolutely loves it. In my heart and my soul. Next song. Here we go.

It's going to go high. I can feel you even when I'm alone. Oh, baby. Hit it, John. Do it, go. Woo! Yeah! Ray.

ZM, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Lee. Good morning. Welcome to the show. So, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, two minutes past six. You just did a whiff check. Yeah, I sort of, you know when you just, something hits your nose and you're like, is it me? You've got to do a little pit whiff. It's not me. It's past six. You just did a whiff check. Yeah, I sort of, you know when you just, something hits your nose and you're like, is it me? You've got to do a little pit whiff.

It's not me. It's not you. No, it's me. Is it worn? Did you just take your hoodie off? I don't think it's actually real. I didn't wear a hoodie today because it's bloody 18,000 degrees and mugginess, humidity to 100%.

It is crazy. You guys were messaging this morning when I woke up about how hot it was and I had to change to shorts and I'd put them away for the year. I was like, no more shorts at, you know, 5 a.m. Did you have them vacuum-packed? I do. You had to release the seal? I vacuum-packed my summer duvet, and now I need that back

because it's too hot with the winter duvet. 19.2 degrees is the warmest place in the country right now in Monaco. Yeah. And most of the North Island place in the country right now in Monaco. Yeah. And most of the North Island is in the mid-teens. New Plymouth, 18 at the moment. Same in Hamilton. A bit cooler in the South Island. 10 in Christchurch.

So what is this? What is it? Why? No Southerlies. Yeah, and all the snow that was on Orupehu on the snow cams is gone. Washed away. Last week's snow. Oh, God.

So it'll be sludgy. So, yeah. Oh, well. Just rockier. The first line, yeah. Just wet rocks. Wet rocks. Yeah.

You can still ski down them. It's just not as much fun, yeah. On rental skis. You'll bust your face. Yeah. Now, you're wearing your Mitre 10 trade t-shirt today. I did not know I was. I just grabbed

a charcoal t-shirt. He's a bloody tradie now. Oh my God. I just grabbed a charcoal t-shirt. Although I will say very comfortable t-shirt. Why have they given you

a t-shirt? They've recognised me as a trader. Oh no. Are you off on a job after this? Yeah, I'm going straight to a job.

Straight down the work site. I've got my steel caps in the out of control. My steel caps in the car. Yeah, I'm going straight to a job. Straight down the work site. I've got my steel caps in the... Out of control. My steel caps in the car. Yeah. I didn't know. I just grabbed it. I just...

This is pretty much all of my, you know, all of my T-shirts are of this shade. Yeah. A grey hue. Yeah, I just grabbed one. Fabric does look nice. It does look nice. Yeah.

Nice tee. Well, right, coming up on the show today, Lizzo. The one and only Lizzo, who's got a lot of things on at the moment. She's got a show on Amazon where she's searching for her backup dancers for her tour. Of course, her song is everywhere at the moment. It's the latest TikTok dance craze, isn't it? Got her album on the way.

What else? She did Coachella. Does she know anything else? She did Coachella. She went to the Met. She did Coachella with Harry Styles. None other. And she's a huge fan.

So she's on the show with us 8am this morning. Also at 8 this morning, it's the first ever Retro Petrol Time Machine. Retro Petrol Time Machine. Retro Petrol Time Machine. Itro Petrol Time Machine. Retro Petrol Time Machine. It's your chance to win free fuel. We jump in the Retro Petrol Time Machine. You win free fuel.

God, it's good. Yeah. We drove around a lot this weekend, Aaron and I, and every time we'd drive past the petrol station, you'd be like, three bucks! Yeah, it's ridiculous, isn't it? All right, well, your chance to win free fuel, 8 o'clock this morning.

The top six is coming up. Yes, it's ridiculous, isn't it? All right, we have a chance to win free fuel at 8 o'clock this morning. The top six is coming up. Yes, it is. The top six other ways to collect your takeaways. There is a call to ban the single-use takeaway container. Think of your pad ties, your plastic pad tie container. Oh, yeah. Mums won't let that go to single use. No, they never do.

Mums could probably pop a couple of sammies in there if Dad's out for the day. Oh, yeah, they're good. You like to use yours for painting. Yeah. Paint trays. When you're doing a little cutting in and you hop up on the ladder, you don't want the whole bucket or the tray, so you just pour it into your little pad tie. I'd drop that though. Mine would go, paint would go one end and completely like rocket

and just flip over and I'd have paint everywhere. But I've got the top six other things you can collect your takeaways in. Alright, it's next. It'd not be, I haven't written it. Actually, no, that's okay. We'll give you some time. I'll go next then. Or do you want to do it at the end of six o'clock?

Okay, yeah, you can do that. That gives me a whole lot of time to forget to do it and then do it in a rush over one song. Okay, great. Next on the show though. Actually next, associative regression. You think retro petrol is hard to say. Associative regression, I'm going to tell you what it is and why we do it.

Is it a bit too early in the morning for these psychological terms? I guess I just imagine our audience to be as intelligent as I am. I imagine that. I'm going to treat them thus. They've been up reading. I imagine our audience to be as sleepy as I am right now. Yeah, probably.

Now, you might recognise this behaviour in yourself as I describe it because I know I certainly do this. It's called associative regression. You must curl the R to make it sound slightly more... Regression. Like going back. Like, okay. Not progression, regression.

Associative regression. It describes a temporary behaviour behavioral and language-based regression that's influenced by the people you're associating with at the time. So you might notice, I notice this most when I go home to my mum and dad's house and suddenly I start acting like a child again. Well, I can't do my washing. Nah, yeah. What, my bum, mum?

I don't regress quite that far. Don't go that far. I don't quite go that far back. But it's, so for example, if you're meeting up with a friend from school, maybe high school, year 10 or something, after a certain amount of pleasantries and, oh, should we go find somewhere to have a little drink, you might start acting a lot less mature

and talking the way that you guys used to talk. Same thing, primary school or like being around family and stuff. You slip into those roles. Like I'm the youngest in my family. So even though I'm 32 and immeasurably successful, I do. I act like the child. You're still junior to your brother. I am junior to my brother.

Yeah. Who was junior to my parents. And then we start swinging off the pantry doors and being like, what's for dinner? I'm hungry. Can you drop us off up the road? Can I have a dollar?

Go to the dairy? And apparently, according to psychologists, this is because we're always wanting to fit in. And so when we're with people from our past, there's a part of us that believes that our current version of ourselves with all of our new traits might not be good enough. So we go back to a time where we were like emotionally safe with these people. Right.

Which is the younger version of ourselves. It's fascinating. Yeah, it is. It's crazy, isn't it? It's called associative regression. So you associate the certain people with the age that you were and then you regress back to that age. Do you think that's why some guys become total

douchebags when they go and hang out with their high school friend group? Absolutely. And their girlfriends are just like, oh my god. Like successful businessmen. Yeah. And they get on a boys trip and they're all like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. They've got some song from the and they're all like, Yeah. Doing shoeies.

They've got some song from the school they all went to. Yeah. Or some saying. Yeah. Some grammar this or something that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, and then all the girls sit there being like, Oh, my God, the husbands are so embarrassing. And then they're like, Did you see Becky's trousers? She looks terrible. All right, 11 past six. Next on the show, this is a warning for you, Hayley, in our working dynamic, in our workplace. But also just a warning for everybody.

Yeah. Heading into another work week. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. In the UK, it has been ruled upon that calling someone bald in a workplace is sexual harassment. Hmm. Is it using it like as an insult or is it using it in any way? It's using it as an out loud observation, I guess. What, like, oh, I want to rub your smooth little bald head. Oh, yeah, that is sexual harassment.

Regardless of whether or not your head has hair or not. Yeah, yeah. Describing somebody like that. Okay, but what about if I just said, you're bald? But it's your tone there. Yeah, that's a tonal issue. Okay, what if I said, you're bald? Yeah, I mean. Well, that's just pointing out something. Joke's on you because I was thinking that was sexual. Oh you're bald? Yeah, I mean.

Well, that's just pointing out something. Joke's on you because I was thinking that was sexual. Oh, were you? Yeah, but you couldn't tell. Yeah, right. Okay, I'll try. Bald. Yeah, it's a tonal issue.

It's a tonal issue. So these three judges sat down because Tony, who was dismissed after working as an electrician for 24 years at the British bung company. At the British what? Bung company. I haven't looked them up, but I assume they made bungs. Like chuck a bung in it.

Yeah, bungs for holes. Put a bung in it. He said this word got thrown around and then he was unfairly dismissed from his workplace. So they had to see whether or not there was a connection between the word bald on the one hand and the protected characteristic of sex on the other. They ruled three members of the tribunal, baldness is much more prevalent in men than women

and we find it inherently related to sex and gender. Thus, it is sexual harassment. Huh. Because it's harassment of something that one gender is prominent in. It's like if you said to a man, oh no big titties wouldn't work on

a man because that's just kind of Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's harassment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's still definitely harassment. God, that's harassment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's still definitely harassment. God, it's played murky, isn't it? It's a murky pond. But the three dudes that did it were old, bald, white dudes. Yeah, of course they were.

It feels like they may have had a dog in the fight. But why did they? It's not like this guy was all of a sudden bald after working there 24 years. It started off in an argument in 2019. Factory supervisor Jamie King reportedly referred to

his lack of hair during an argument. He said, I was working on a machine that I had to cover awaiting specialist repair. The covers were taken off and it was apparent

that Jamie King had done this. When I spoke to him, he began to call me a stupid old bald C word and threatened to deck me. How is bald the bad word in that sentence? Yeah, I would have, C word slightly.

Stupid and old also up there. Fearful for my personal safety, I retreated to the nearby office. He continued his tirade of threats and abuse and it was witnessed by the woman whose office I was hiding in. So there was a threat of physical violence, but also the use of the word bald.

Right. Yeah. Would be, they ruled if it had been a woman and he called her a stupid old small breasted C word. Yeah. It would be the word. Yeah. It would be comparable. It'd be the same. The same.

Wow. Is that? It sounds like a toxic workplace from either way. He's likely to have been let go. It definitely sounds like bullying and harassment and violence, but I wouldn't have called it sexual harassment. No. I would never have thought bald was sexual harassment.

If it was like you little willied sea. Yeah. Then yes. Yeah. But I don't associate a bald head with sexuality. You've been warned. I have been warned. But as we said, imagine pulling back on you little willied

and then dropping sea bomb. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah. It's a sea-bomb song. God, well, I don't know what to call you anymore. Because when we're off air. It's bald C words here, there and everywhere.

It's just bald C, bald C, left, right and centre. 18 past six. Next on the show, I've got the 10 major life events that you should be saving for. You're probably not. But you should be. Yeah, but things are so expensive. Yeah, who's saving for anything? I'm saving for a bag of lettuce.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I was trying to tilt it down. Leave your microphone in one place like every other broadcasting announcer. No, I like to move it around. They put it on a dumb heavy bass. Should we get Britney mics?

And my mic doesn't adjust in height anymore. In case you're wondering, you know, how we're doing financially, I think this is a great reflection on it. If I want to pull my mic up, I have to pull it up and then roll a rubber band down the shaft of the microphone to hold it at the right height. You don't have that. You need a, that will have one because it's a new one.

Yes, suck it. I just stole the guest's one. That won't work. No, that's the clip the microphone cord to the base. Well, anyway, it's good to know that we've got the top of the line equipment here in studio. Speaking of money, economists have shared the 10 major life events that you should be saving for, despite the fact that everything's too expensive at the moment.

To even be saving. And no one's earning enough money. Yeah. Here they are. Number 10 on the list, a personal finance crisis. Isn't that what everyone's having now anyway? It's what you have at the end of the weekend, isn't it? You're like, what? Yeah, I believe it's not so anyway? It's what you have at the end of the weekend, isn't it? You're like, what?

Yeah, I believe it's not so personal. It's global at the moment. But yeah, this is whether you lose your job, cost of living goes up, maybe wages stay the same, unforeseen circumstances. Have some money in the bank for that because that's easy.

Tech upgrades is number nine on the list. Upgrading your tech because famously things, you know, like tech companies don't, well, you know, they put that, well, I believe they put that thing in that if you don't keep upgrading your stuff, it'll just burn out and melt. Oh, yeah, what's that called? There's a term for it, eh? Yeah.

Something like redundancy. Obsolation, like planned that's like forced obsolation or something. So you have to upgrade your phone because otherwise the software that they make you download to use it doesn't work and it will melt it and then you'll burn your thighs.

Obsolence? Planned obs... Planned obsolence? Obsolation didn't sound like a word. No, I don't know. Did you make that up? There's a term for it. I forget what it's called exactly, but yeah, they...

I think Apple and Apple sued for it like a while ago. No, they were sued for knowingly releasing software that would slow down when it didn't need to. That's right. Well, you've got to be prepared for it. Put all that extra money we've got at the moment aside. Number eight, visiting your bucket list destinations. When was this article written?

2022. Oh, okay. Or just pop overseas, shall I? Because it's so easy. Well, it's going to be back on soon. Yeah, soon enough. Soon. But if you keep dipping into your savings,

you won't be able to tick off that bucket list, and then we'll die. Number seven, buying your first house. Ridiculous, no one can do that. Number six, your wedding day. I'm still waiting. I've had many years to save for this. You're not doing a big one.

You're not doing the super expensive wedding day. Apparently. Apparently we're not. But have you been saving for the last nine years? For your wedding? Yeah, I should have been, but I'm not. But have you been saving for the last like nine years for your wedding? Yeah, I should have been, but I'm not. Okay. Yeah, so it'll have to be a small wedding.

Just when you decide to have it, then you'll start saving. Any day now. What number am I up to? Who knows the number? Expanding your family though. See, this is where I'm cutting costs. Okay. You've got a feeling a lot of these

could probably be related to children, right? Yeah. There's another one coming up. Well, the one after that is getting a pet because people want bougie dogs. Oh my God, do you know what I saw on the North Shore on Saturday? Oh, wait.

A Pomp Ski. A Husky and a, wow, okay. A Pomeranian. Yeah. It was like this big. That doesn't work on the radio, wow, okay. A Pomeranian. Yeah. It was like this big, like a small. That doesn't work on the radio. Yeah, sorry. I'm a television gal.

Like a small medium, like a size 10. And was it real fluffy? It was so fluffy and it had little like wolf eyes. It was blue, like blue eyes, but it was like this little incredible thing. Two wildly incompatible dog breeds. Pomsky, it was so well behaved, apparently very clingy. And then we were talking to him and we were like, oh my God, this dog is incredible. And he's like, it's a Pomsky.

He's like, I own three of them. And we're like, oh my God, what a gorgeous dog. He's like, yeah, they're like five grand. He's just jumping in and he's walking 15 grand of dog. Absolutely. So that's why on this list, you've got to save if you want a pet. At least if you're walking three Huskies, you could be on a sled and it could be pulling dog. Absolutely. So that's why on this list you've got to save if you want a pet. At least if you're walking three huskies

you could be on a sled and it could be pulling you. Yeah. I don't think a Pomsky is going to be able to even pull a bloody shopping trolley are they? Probably not.

Probably not. Maybe one of those small cute ones that kids can use and might attend. Yeah with a big flag on it. If you're listening to this and you're going

what's a Pomsky and you're googling and you're like I want it you've got to save. Number three protecting your loved ones. So that's looking out for the rest of your family.

Aren't they going to be looking after themselves? Yeah, it's every man for themselves in the apocalypse. Because they should have been saving too much themselves. Money will also be no good to you in the apocalypse. That's why I'm hoarding gold. Right, yeah. Number two, and this is a problem only for you, Vaughan, sending your child to university.

Sending your child? Get a student loan like the rest of us. God. But even with a student loan, it's got to be an expensive time as a parent. Oh, yeah, because you always have to ring up mum and dad and be like, I don't have money for food. No, you always have to have the BS conversation beforehand,

being like, hey, how's your day going? In that conversation, you're immediately like, how much? What do you want? How much? How much do you need? Just like 200 bucks. Whatever the last 200. Long whites.

I put that on rent. Long whites. Yeah. Yeah, and also because I work in retail, I have to buy the clothes to wear the clothes in the shop. I don't think that's the rule. Yes, I do, Dad. I don't know if that's the rule.

You have to be current. You're going to be a pushover for money. You're going to be the ATM for the girls. Absolutely. Number one on the list, and I don't reckon anyone's doing this, retirement. Trying to get your retirement looking as cosy as possible. The 10 major life events you should be saving for.

Yeah. Retirement's not going anywhere, though, is it? Nah. Well, this is how I was reading an article. Like, with the pandemic, A lot of people under like 40 Are just like Ah I'm just going to live life and spend money Oh yeah

They're just like Ah Nah Yeah Because it might evolve And like just might You might not even get a retirement Because we all might die because of the next strain

Is that what you mean? Yeah Good call We don't want to die with big, fat bank accounts either. No. I made mine at zero. That's why you bought pants. I'm wearing the pants.

Your pants came. Your pants came. The pants. The pants. I'm wearing the pants. They look incredible. They do look great. They do look great.

So you'll be dead in those pants looking fabulous. I will die in these pants with no money in my bank account. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, do you remember a couple of years ago and actually this has been a hot topic of conversation in this very studio there was a thing called a fecal transplant and it was taking the

of a healthy, fit human being. Yep. And then giving it to someone with bad gut health issues or digestive issues like myself. Yep. And apparently the bacteria or the good bacteria and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, would sort out a lot of the issues of the person who had ingested it.

And the reason we've been talking about it recently is my ongoing gut health issues. And I was looking at Fletch and I was like... She wants me to be a donor. Fletch is so healthy. You can eat what you... You know, like your stomach doesn't go nuts when you eat anything. You're a good healthy boy.

You're nice and fit. No, I reckon since COVID, since I've had COVID, I do have a little bit of a even out again when I eat some stuff. You've got a gurgle about that. I have a bit of a gurgle and then I'll burp. I'll just do these little cute burps. So I don't know if you want my stomach health now.

It's got to be better than mine. It's got to be better than mine. It's definitely better than yours. I just feel that you need to go through an actual proper place to do this. No, I'm not spending. I imagine, I think there's only one place in New Zealand that does these fecal transplants. And I imagine it's going to be thousands and thousands of dollars.

All we have to do is have a couple of wines at your house. And put it into a capsule. You pop to the loo when the moment happens. Pop it in a capsule for me. Okay, look, I'm going to need some time to think about this. It's a big decision. I'd say yes sooner to somebody wanting a baby donation than I would this.

This is very weird. So you'd be a sperm donor or an organ donor before you'd be a fecal donor. But you don't have to do anything. I do have to do something. I've got to put it into a capsule. Well, you don't have to do it. Yeah. I'm still sample and then I do it,

don't I? It's a bit weird. You're too intimate. Well, anyway, so now they're talking about youth transplants. Okay. So taking parts

of young people and putting them into older people. Like the Democrats are doing in America, eating babies. Yeah. Very similar.

Very similar. Right, okay. Very similar. Celebrities and such. Yep, yeah. So the Stanford University has done some research and they look at infusing cerebrospinal fluid of young people. Right.

And inserting it into old people. They say people, they used mice. Yeah. And it showed that it improves brain function and other neurodegenerative conditions like dementia. Oh, wow. And Alzheimer's in these people's mice. So in the future, if we're in a Ryman and we're losing our mind, they'll just go and

take some out of a young person. Yeah. I'm assuming what they, you donate, like you do blood, or are they dead people that give their organs? No, you can do it like that. Well, I mean, there's many, many ways you can do it. There's been two other studies that I've looked at before. One was so morbid, and I really, I mean, obviously,

I'm not against testing on, I'm not, I am against testing on animals. Yeah. This one, they took an old mouse. Yeah. Have you heard of this? And a young mouse. They stitched them together to make like a monster mouse. And before it obviously died,

the old part of the mouse started to regenerate itself because of the young part and all the young bits that it's attached to. So you're going to have to sew a young person onto you. I don't know why I've been pointed at. I feel like you want to live till you're 100. No, I reckon you're tapping at 88. Yeah, absolute max. Yeah, okay.

I'll do it. Yeah, you can do it. Where would I, can I get, sign on my back? Yeah, I reckon just like an elbow or something. You don't have to have a whole thing, just a third arm. Oh, just can do it. Where would I, can I get, sign on my back? Yeah, I reckon just like an elbow or something. You don't have to have a whole thing, just a third arm. Oh, just get the arm. Right.

Yeah. So, and this was the other one, is in 2019, there was a US startup called Ambrosia that was offering teenage blood plasma, so like donating, to Silicon Valley billionaires for $8,000 a litre. And they would put it in their own body. It'd have an infusion. And it would, you know, regenerate all their blood cells and the likes like a young person. And does it actually do anything?

Well, I guess it's sort of like self-healing and slows down the ageing process is the thing. So you're trying to take youth from young people. And of course it was shut down very quickly because people were like, no, no, no, no, that's terrible. It seems a bit bad, doesn't it? But like blood is amazing because that's what I've been doing with my head is injecting my own blood back into like certain areas of your body

because your young blood just heals everything. Yeah, right. So again, like how we might do a more casual exchange and not go through the doctors, you could probably find a young person that might just give you a little bit of blood and you chuck it in a shot glass. Again, I don't think you should be doing that. I don't know if that's how it works.

That's how you've stayed looking the same for the last 18 years. Yeah. Have you been vampirically? I've got one of those blood things called. Robbing the youth. Blood transfusion. Yeah. A dialysis machine. I've got a dialysis machine. Every night he just hooks the Youth. Blood transfusion. Yeah. A dialysis machine.

I've got a dialysis machine. Every night, just hooks himself up. Yeah, they come around for a hookup. You're like, you jump on that one, I'll jump on this one. Well, that's what you call hooking up, the hooking up blood machine. The hooking up the IV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. A 10,000 person strong petition presented to government calling for the ban of items such as disposable takeaway coffee cups and lids, food containers, cutlery and single serve sauce and condiments, sachets and pottles. Single serve sauces?

Yeah, like fish and chip shop. Those little sachets that you rip open at the top. Your ketchup? Yeah, that sort of thing. Okay. So to get rid of it, a whole lot of... It ends up in landfill, can't be recycled, and should be gone. Does that mean if you were out and you didn't have any sauce for your fishy chippies,

you'd have to go... You'd have to have a big bottle of... Get a whole box. What is in your bag. Or a tin, you could still get the tins, the little rip-open tins. Yeah, because tins are recyclable, Korean. Little rip and dip. Mid next year, plastic produce bags, plates and cutlery,

straws and fruit labels will be gone. Other PVC and polystyrene food and drink packaging banned from mid 2025. Okay. They're being phased out. This is good news. Well, if you're not going to be able to use the little single-use plastic takeaway container, I've got the top six things to collect your takeaways in.

Rock into the, could be Indian, could be Thai, could be anything. Yeah. The users, I mean, I'm just thinking of those because often these are the curry containers. Well, I'm thinking of your Chinese smorgasbords. Yeah, very much so. They love an extra $2 fee if you can't shut the lid.

If you can't shut the lid. How are they going to load TT on the sweet and sour pork? What's going to happen if people come in with their own different sized containers? It's going to be the Wild West. It'll be done on weight, perhaps. It'll go to where you weigh the container and then begin the process. So I've got the top six things to collect your takeaways. And number six, your handbag.

I'll whip open my deadly ponies and shove in a pad tie. You could have a handbag specifically for takeaways. The only issue is I do love a curry. I do love a... How leg-proof is a deadly ponies? I mean, it's leather. It's leather. It should be very...

It should get home. Yeah, you don't want to get home and it's leaking butter chicken out the bottom. No. And it does have a cotton inside, interior. Right. And that wouldn't hold very much. No, that wouldn't hold.

Maybe they could release a special Deadly Ponies butter chicken. I think they would. Receptacle. For collecting your curries. Number five on the list of the top six things to collect your takeaways in. Your hands.

Just... I mean, advantageous for those with larger hands. Yeah. More curry. Maybe they can charge you on the size of your hands. See, look at those gaps, though. The butter chicken's getting out of there, though, isn't it? Well, you've got to push your fingers together, don't you?

No, even when I push them together, look, there's still, I've got a bit of a... You've got weird bony fingers. Like a thigh gap, yeah. Like a thigh gap. You do have a thigh gap in your fingers. In your fingers. Yeah. Well done.

You've been working out, though. Yeah, I have been, yeah. Finger thrusts. Number four on the list of the top six things to collect your takeaways in, a hollowed out cob loaf. Oh, yes. Tip of the hand to a cob loaf for being a fantastic loaf. How long is it?

Cut the top out, take it in. How long is the drive home before that starts getting soggy? Oh, it's got to be pretty quick. Eat it right there or take it home or maybe sit it in. How long is the drive home before that starts getting soggy? Oh, it's got to be pretty quick. Eat it right there or take it home or maybe sit it in a bowl. Like a bowl you, B-Y-O, bowl. Number three on the list are the top six things to collect your takeaways in, although maybe these won't be around for too much longer because most of the time you're like,

oh, yeah, I'll really use that and I'll never use it once. A Ziploc bag. Yeah. Just hold it out of the bag, slop it in the bag, seal the bag. Home, James. I mean, you totally could. Chucking it over your shoulder.

Huh? Chuck it on the end of your stick and walk down the railway lines into the sunset. You totally could. Absolutely totally could. Number two on the list of the top six things

to click your takeaways in. An old bucket. Oh, yeah. You could have, you know, a colour-coded bucket, red bucket, tie, could have, you know, a colour-coded bucket, red bucket, tie, blue bucket,

Indian cuisine, soups, Southeast Asian soups in the yellow bucket. Yeah. Green bucket, bleach and household cleaners. And toilets.

Yeah. I think that it would also, if there was a big bucket, they'd probably fill it up a little bit more too. Yeah. They'd be like, oh,

that doesn't look like much. I might have to slop a little bit more in there. And number one on the, oh, that doesn't look like much. I might have to slop a little bit more in there. And number one on the list of the top six things to collect your takeaways in if it's RIP to the single-use

takeaway containers, nature's bowl. A big cabbage leaf. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Get thinking of a coconut. Oh, a coconut would work as well. Sometimes you get your rice

in a half a coconut. Yeah. Yeah. And then you just throw it out the window. Yeah. That's what you do with your coconuts when Yeah. And then you just throw it out the window. Yeah. That's what you do with your coconuts when you're finishing them. You throw them out the window.

That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little boys. Silly little boys. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little boys. Silly little boys. Silly little boys. I just got the real feeling we weren't alone in the studio. I just got the real feeling like there was somebody under the desk.

I thought I saw a little ferretting going on under the desk. Oh, my God. What are you, Calvin Cruikshank over here? Yeah. Is it a positive energy or a negative energy? It's a lost energy. It's a lost energy. Oh my God.

Has anybody lost someone that seemed like they weren't happy with how it ended? Like they wanted more, that there was more for them? I'm just getting a really feeling of a soul. Oh my God. I think that's my friend's sister. I think you should be. Yes, it's a very feminine energy. I'm just getting a really feeling of a soul that can complete its purpose. I think you should be... Yes, it's a very feminine energy.

I think you should be really careful making generic sweeping statements because a lot of people could relate to those and attach. Well, these aren't generic. This is just my refining process. Okay, yeah, right. Okay, silly little poll now that I've confirmed that there's nobody, like a little troll-y type creature. Well, we don't know, but they're not causing us any harm.

No, they're not. So they can stay. Is your Instagram account public or private? 78% of people said private. What? That surprised me. I thought it'd be way more. Yeah, me too.

Wait, you thought it would be more? No, I thought it would be 50-50. I thought it'd be way more people with public profiles. Yeah. Yeah, same, same, same, same. Just purely for the fact that I guess, you know, if you were, but then I, yeah. What are you doing it for? Isn't that the whole thing is to show off your life to the world, be like, look how perfect

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's different for us because we have like public profiles, right? Because we're famous. So we have these open profiles. Whereas if, yeah, if you didn't have this job, I'd totally have it on private because you wouldn't want your employers and people seeing stuff. Oh, wow. Oh, okay.

So these are some of the replies. Okay. And a couple are explaining why they're on private. Rory said, private because I own a secret meme page that I don't want my followers to find. What kind of meme page do they run? Is it a big deal? Is it a naughty meme page?

Is it a big deal meme page? Yeah. But that's the thing, you might upset someone so then he doesn't want them to find them basically. To be found rather. Yes. Maybe, yeah. Yep.

I took it more of he doesn't want his... I took it more of he doesn't want his... I took it more of he didn't want the people who actually follow his private profile to know he also runs that one. Because he might have said mean things about them or referenced something that happened in their lives and his memes. Taylor said, mine's on private, I work in a prison. Oh, yeah. Too many follows sent from what I assume

contraband prison phones. Oh, dear. Yeah, that's bad. Do you have friends that, if they're police or doctors or whatever, they have a different name for their profile? Yes, teachers. Yeah, teachers and stuff. There are a few teachers that don't have their actual name. Are you guys friends with any of your, do you

follow any of your teachers, your old teachers? No. I do. like follow any of your teachers, your old teachers? No. I do. I follow one of mine. My form two teacher. Why do you follow your form two teacher? I don't know.

He was a cool guy. One of my favourite teachers. I don't think any of my teachers would have Instagram. Probably old. Yeah, right. Does your form two teacher follow you? Yeah. That's so weird. It is weird, eh? There's a boundary there. Is there to teach to follow you? Yeah. That's so weird.

It is weird, eh? There's a boundary there. Is there? You've crossed it. Yeah. I mean, we don't DM each other. It's just, we're still weird. I remember the first time I saw a teacher out on the town.

In the wild. Yeah. Yeah, weird, eh? When you were like turned 18 and you're out, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. You're in the club. Fiona says mine's definitely private as I'm a therapist

and it's more professional for clients to know as little about me as possible. Yeah, good call. And if I was public, they'd be able to see it all. Yeah. Soph says, I'm a teacher and I don't want kids and parents to be able to search me up. Yeah. Totally.

Especially parents who'd be like, now look, my little tummy. Yeah. He needs a bit of extra help. Now, Charlotte's got one of these ones. I have a public and a private. Yeah, a lot of extra help. Now, Charlotte's got one of these ones. I have a public and a private. So she would have like Charlotte about town. Yeah. And then she'd have Charlotte about town PRVT.

PVT or something. PVT, whatever that little private thing is. When your girls get Instagram, their private ones you won't be allowed to follow. Oh, absolutely. That's where they put all the party photos. Oh, absolutely. Because you have to request to follow it and they accept. Also, I don't think my kids get Instagram.

They kind of like think it's an old. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. It's an old person's thing. Oh, my God. Shame. Shame. I love Instagram.

Shame. Stop being so old. T says, mine's public because I got haters and I want them to keep on stalking. Hating away. Give me my power. Yes. Do it for the haters. Ash said, private.

I work on a super yacht owned by a billionaire. We have to sign an NDA and they're not allowed to put our location on social media so the people don't know where the boat is or the antics that he gets up to. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What's their account? What's their account?

I want a request to follow. Request to follow and give them that. I wonder if the super yacht's got one of those slides that you can slide straight into the Caribbean. Yeah. No doubt. And then get picked up by the jet ski because you don't want to swim back to them.

I was private for a while, but now I'm single. Laughy face, says Kendall. I won't find my future husband if he can't randomly slide into my DMs on the gram. Monkey covering eyes, laugh face to the side. Yeah, that's fair call. And finally, kind of embarrassing, but I set mine to public because I enter so many Instagram competitions. One of the requirements of Instagram comps is usually to share the competition post to your story.

And your profile needs to be public for them to be notified that you do this. Hon, don't do that. Nobody wants to see you. No one wants to see that. Nobody likes that. Nobody wants to see you. No one wants to see that. Nobody likes that. No one, yeah, if your profile is just you entering competitions, you've been muted. Yeah, and sometimes I think, one of my friends said this,

you're better than that. Yeah, I do too. You're better than sharing, you know, a post for six hot cross buns. Yeah. You've got a chance to win six hot cross buns. You are better than that. You're better than that, sweetie. I'd love to know how many competitions this person has actually won for all the trouble.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say it's a big fat zero. Oh, okay. Don't brands, like, sometimes they just don't give it away. Don't end up sending it out or something. Yeah. Just reap the rewards.

Well, there you go. That's why some people are in private, some people are in public. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Paper Scissors Rocks Championship has been held in Wellington, the second annual at Residence Bar. And congratulations to Zoe Riviera for $1,000 grand prize. It's just luck though, right? Unless you can read, unless you know the person,

know a little bit about them. Let's go now. Three, two, one. No, you go now. Three, two, one. No, you don't say three, two, one. You go paper, scissors, blah. Well, you guys know that I was going to start with paper. Yeah. Ready?

Paper, scissors, rock. Ah! Damn it. I won. Reverse psychology. Yeah, it didn't work. So you pay five bucks to enter. Yeah.

And then she's all go, watching for illegal. There's a referee there watching for illegal moves. Okay. The old switch and change. Scissors, paper. Yeah. Scissors, paper. Rock to scissors.

Yeah, change it around. So, yeah, on it went. And Zoe came out on top. She didn't have any particular strategy. She was just going to give it a go I suppose you could use psychology So your first one would be A chance

And then from there you go Okay well they've done scissors now So they're going to think that I'm not going to do scissors And they only do one game at a time So you could be like I'm up against them next Try to work out their play on things I wonder if you could do that thing I'm up against them next, try to work out their play on things. I wonder if you could do that thing, I was just reading in the paper before something, something, and they're like

in their mind. Oh, like put paper in their mind. You know like those magicians and they like coerce you into acting a certain way because they say things. The mentalists. The mentalists, yeah. Oh man, this song rocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love this song. It rocks.

And then you come in with a paper because they do a rock because you got in their mind. But what if you put them off and you're like, oh, this song rocks. I love the Scissor Sisters. Well, you've just confused the situation. Hang on. I reckon then they might go paper.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They want to fill that gap. They want to fill that gap. So they might go paper. Yeah, yeah. They want to fill that gap. They want to fill that gap. So they might go paper. All right. What's your go-to? What's your go-to when it's your natural? We talked about this.

You always do 1A. No. I'm a rock. I always rock. Kind of change it up. Now you know this about me. Yeah. I always rock.

I will often go rock against the kids because the thing in their mind, they think scissors are so tough. Yeah, right. Because they're sharp and scary. Yeah, because they're scissors. And allowed them. Yeah, exactly. You're constantly telling them how dangerous scissors are,

so they consider them the ultimate weapon. Yeah. But little do they know about the rock. The rock's going to come in and blunt that right up. I wonder if there is a more modern version. We've progressed so much in the stationary world. Could you have a shredder? Shredder, iPad, staple.

Gun stapler. You don't want a staple going through a shredder. You don't want a paperclip going through a shredder. Shredder would beat paperclip. No, paperclip beats shredder. Shredder beats paper, but then paper would also... No, the clip would contain the paper. What beats the paperclip? The shredder. Yeah. Shredder beats paper, but then paper would also... What about hole punch? No, the clip would contain the paper. The clip beats the paper.

What beats the paper clip? The shredder. No. No, no, no, no. Okay, now we've unfairly stacked this in the paper clip's favour. You'd always go paper clip, wouldn't you? Nothing destroys the paper clip. Something's got to beat the paper clip.

A child, because they'll always unravel it. Yes. I always unravel it. Make it a straight bit of steel. But then the shredder beats the child because you can get the fingers in. You should not let your children near the shredder. Shred the fingers. Okay, well, that's the new modern equivalent then.

So it's shredder, child, paperclip. What are the gestures with the hands? Shredder is like little, like squiddy fingers. Child is no fingers. Yeah, because they squiddy fingers. Child could be. Child has no fingers. Yeah, because they're being shredded. And paperclip could just be, like, a bent, hooked finger. Yeah. Good.

Sorted. Well, feel free to play around with that new version. He just runs off the tip of the tongue. Tip of the tongue. Tip of the tongue. 722. Next on the show, do you have more friends or less after the pandemic? But right now a study out of America talking about friends

and how many friends you've got, how many people you're friends with. I've got a lot of friends, always have. What's the word, popular? You're very outgoing, aren't you? I've got a lot of friends. Always have. I guess, what's the word? Popular? You're very outgoing, aren't you? I'm very outgoing. Yeah, very. And I also, I give a lot of time to my friends.

So when I make friends, I tend to keep them. If we get on well, I'll make the effort and they stick around. Well, so research that's been done in America, and I don't know if it would be the same here, but so three decades ago, 30 years ago, the number of Americans that said they had no close friends was 3%. It is sad, isn't it? But so now in 2021, a poll, now this was done a year into the pandemic, said that, put the number at about 12% of people.

Have no close friends. Friends. Have no close friends. No close friends. Friends, but no close friends. No close. So they might have like, they might just work nonstop. And so they might have work acquaintances. I wonder if they can count their lovers as friends. Yeah, maybe.

So 13% of women, 8% of men aged 30 to 49 said they've lost touch with most of their friends. I remember when I was young and I used to always be like, I've got so many friends. I've got Shiloh and Leah and Rebecca and Jess. And then my mum would always be like, that's cute. But when you get older, you'll be able to count your good friends in one hand. Well, it's quality, not quantity, isn't it? Quality, not quantity. And they say that loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigs a day.

I don't think that's quite right. They don't know that. Surely. It is. No, it's quite often cited. This was science. Yeah, this was done at the University of Utah, like 2010. I know loneliness is a huge thing in old people.

Yeah. It's very sad. I mean, it is hard because you move apart. And it's also hard to... We've talked about this before, making adult friends. When you move somewhere or something, you're just like, no. Happy without them? Don't need any more.

Don't need new ones. Yeah, but if you moved... None of my close friends live near me anyway. Yeah. But if you moved, I'm saying, what would you do? You'd make friends. You mean none of your close friends live near you? I mean, yeah, I see you guys at work all the time.

So that's like my friend. Are we your own friends? That's, yeah. It is probably a double exaggeration to say there's only about, like, three people who live in Auckland that I, like, want to catch up with outside of work. And then, like, my, like, closest friends don't live.

Hamilton, Wellington and overseas. Like, it's all just, yeah. Yeah, so if you moved, you've kind of, like, you just carry them around with you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carry them around in my pocket. Do you think as well that the pandemic made us, like,

look at our friend groups and re-evaluate? It's certainly been a divisive time. That maybe prior you could scoff and laugh at someone thinking, science is silly. But then it was so prevalent throughout the pandemic. Oh, in that way. Yeah, yeah. I think you probably had less tolerance of the science doubting, you know, if that was your side.

And vice versa, the other side of things, it really, like, drew a line in the sand, like, politically, all sorts of things. It also made people, like, re-evaluate their lives, didn't it, the pandemic? Totally. And priorities, and maybe they're like, well, I'm not going to mess around with this half-assed friendship.

I've said this to so many people. People will, like, close friends will be complaining about a friend. I'm like, you don't need them. No. Like, you don't need someone that you're putting all this untold effort into being a friend with.

And you're not getting anything back. And you're not getting anything back. It should be a give and take. It should be equally giving and taking. And if it's not, it's just time to cut them loose. Life's too short. You're an adult now.

I give quite a lot to our friendship, don't I? Huh? What? Minimal effort. This is very minimal effort both ways. There's a very minimal. I think it's the way it works. We don't ask anything of each other.

It's very minimal. We asked on Instagram, do you have less friends post-pandemic? Although that's quite an ironic statement, isn't it, as well? Because we're not out of the woods, are we? This pandemic is ongoing. Is it done? We heard it here first. And it was 50-50.

Yeah. People said, yeah, 50% said, yeah, I do have less friends since the pandemic. And nah, 50% nah. You did tend to sort of like flick away those situational friends that you only see because of the way that your life was set up and it was convenient. And then when you all got locked up and had to stay home and you didn't see them and then you realised,

oh, we didn't text or we didn't call and we didn't Zoom, we didn't even see each other. Yeah, we don't need each other. I don't actually miss you at all. It was quite a nice way to fade out some of those relationships. I've got so many good friendships on the go. When I meet someone new and I really like them, I try quite hard to not like them.

I just don't have space. Yeah. Because someone's going to get bummed out of the batting order. Sproul's all booked up. Yeah. Well, you've got to drop some of your older, less performing players. Yeah. It's like a super rugby team, isn't it?

Yeah, totally. One day you've got to bench Dan Carter. Yeah, I suppose you do. And then he becomes friends with the Chemist Warehouse. And you know he's going to be looked after. You know he's going to be looked after. Play Zed-N's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I didn't think this was this much, that much.

But apparently Americans will eat 60 burgers a year. So that's one and a bit a year. So that's one in a bit a week. Yeah. Well, 52 weeks, there's like eight weeks you get to have two. That must be homemade burger week because whenever you do homemade burgers, you always have two. I don't know why. You have to always have

two. You have to always have two. Do you know why? It's because when you make the patties, they shrink. They do. They shrink in the pan. Yeah, yeah. And then it ends up being a rissole. And you're like, well, that's, how am I getting that on a burger? Now I've got a rissole patty. Or you buy a KG of mints. Yep.

And you mix them up and you put them in and then you're like, oh, I've still got half the mix left, but I can't freeze this again or whatever. So I'm going to, you make all the things and you're like, well, they're here and buns come in an eight pack and you can't have two burgers. Also, let's be honest, people are going, they're not making their own burgers. Most of these will be takeaway burgers.

Yeah, and if you get a fast food takeaway, like a drive-thru, you have a primary and a secondary and you eat a secondary burger. Always the quarter pea, the quarter pea. You go quarter pea.

And the cheeseburger. Well, you know my stance on this. I'm a McChicken followed by a filet-o-fish. You think you know someone. And then they order a filet-O-Fish. You think you know someone. And then they order a Filet-O-Fish. Yeah. But it's the buns, Steve.

The buns, Steve. And because they're less popular, it's always so hot. You've got to wait a little bit, but it's worth it. So the respondent said it was more about the quality of the patty rather than what type of patty it was that made them pick a burger. Like repeat visit. Right. All right.

They want a good quality meat or a good quality plant-based alternative. Right. But 60 a year. Yeah. 52% of respondents stuck to beef patties. Chickens, 45%. Veggie patties, 35%.%, veggie patties 35%. I love a falafel burger.

Yeah, yum, yum, yum, yum. Don't screw up your nose, you bloody meathead. I'm not wasting my burger on falafels. So flavoursome. Falafels. Yeah, falafels. Falafel. So we want to ask the question this morning,

is there a food that you eat a lot of Like way too much of Could you beat 60 a year of something Absolutely That's not even that much Is it the V and the pie on the way to work I've had a few pies lately I haven't had a long time without pies

I've just been doing stuff lately And going past the need to cook something Grab a pie I haven't had a pie in ages If you did something every Say you had a tradition, say on Friday, every Friday you did like a bakery thing. You always got a donut or you always got a pie.

That would be 52 pies a year. Absolutely. Or like my local pub has nights. So Wednesday's burger night, Friday's pizza night. You can't miss burger night. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, what would it be? Like pizzas.

Pizzas. Pizzas would be up there for something you'd have fairly regularly. Would you have 60 pizzas a year though? That's like you'd have, not whole pizzas, but you might have pizzas 60 times a year. I have pizza for dinner.

I reckon the thing I eat the most, and this is so boring, eggs. Oh same. I have eggs for brekkie every weekend. I reckon the thing I eat the most, and this is so boring, eggs. Oh, same. I have eggs for brekkie every weekend. I have eggs for lunch most weekdays. You'd be doing hundreds of eggs a year. Yeah, hundreds of eggs. Okay. Because I'm somewhat of a bodybuilder.

Yeah, I'm saying that added proteins really, the clean bulk's working for you. Thank you very much. You're thickening right up. Thank you very much. All right, well, we want to ask now. 0800 DALS at Emerson number. Text as well, 9696. What do you eat way too much of?

I mean, is it too much or is it just enough? Maybe you get like, I don't know, you get mocked. Bread, toast. I don't know. You know, people that can't cook, what do they have for brekkie? Toast. What do they have for lunch? Toast. And dinner? Often toast. That's people that can't cook, what do they have for brekkie? Toast. What do they have for lunch? Toast.

And dinner? Often toast. That's like acceptable, right? To have toast every day? Toast every day, but maybe not every meal. Oh,

you're not every meal. No. If you're toasting like three times a day. Yeah, this is Aaron. When I'm not around to cook, he's having toast. We're not counting things like porridge,

right? I have it every single weekday breakfast. No, what's the sort of, we're indulgent thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's be a little bit more naughty.

We're talking about what you eat too much of. You rely on this as a cornerstone of your nutrition, but perhaps you shouldn't. Oh, hey, we're not here to shame, but apparently the average American

60 burger patties a year. Yeah. Somebody sent me a link. I actually do remember this. It was on TV. A guy that lives on fish and rice cakes, and it's all he eats. Rice all he eats for every meal. Like those polystyrene rice cakes.

He doesn't look like a Jimmy type. He looks like a literally kind of anything else. It sounds like he's cutting for the comp. Yeah. The bodybuilder's not. Yeah, it does. Yeah, he's not. Someone said, I know you said it wasn't about healthy stuff, but I eat way too many carrots.

I go through at least a 1kg bag of carrots every week. Oh. So throughout the year. Would you go orange? 52. Nah, you've got to go real hard out on carrots to go orange, right? Yeah. Someone said, I do a lot of hunting, and I probably eat about 400 venison steaks a year.

That is some quality protein. Venison as well. Full on. You're rich. Rich. Rich. Look out for the gout. Poor Bambi.

Poor Bambi. No, it was Bambi's mum. Oh, okay. Bambi was actually orphaned. Oh, Sarah. Janice Oh Janice Someone said peanut butter

Just like jars of peanut butter Just sit down and eat Peanut butter I can do that That's yum What if they buy those slugs You know they did those Little single serve sachets

For people that can't Put the spoon down Alright Keep your calls coming in 0800DARLS.M You can text as well 9696 What are you eating too much of?

What do you eat too much of? What do you eat too much of? This is a moment of self-reflection. Yep. To sit down and be like, I eat a lot of that.

Americans, 60 burger patties a year, which I think Kiwis would easily be out there with that. A burger a week and a couple of weeks we have a couple.

And if you've got leftover burger patties the next day when they're cold and they're in the fridge and you just open it up and you just eat it. Eat the straight burger patty. I guess that counts. You squirt sauce on it and you balance it.

And then a bit of sauce gets smushed on your upper lip. Yeah, it's good stuff. There was no bread to bout it out the way. Vicky, who's eating too much of one thing? It's my daughter and she eats way too many carrots.

She eats probably about five of them a day. Five carrots? Yeah. It just means that she ends up farting all day. Oh, a little bit of flatulence. Right. How many before you do turn orange? More than five?

Just doesn't apply to her. Right, she's never developed a tinge. She's a lot better tinge than I do. Maybe it's the carrots. It's the keratin. Vicky, thanks. You're called Morag. What's the food you eat too much of? So I eat way too much of Superfood nut butter.

Oh, okay. Is that the one with lots of different mixed nuts in it? Yeah, it is. And the 40 Thieves one has herbs and stuff too. Oh, yeah. The one without the herbs, that's great to put on the rat traps. The rats cannot say no to that. Is Morag a rat?

No, Morag, little ratty Morag. How much are you eating? Probably easily over a jar a week. A jar a week? It's good. It's easy to do, though. Even the peanut butter and all of those nut spreads. God, you're like a keto dream.

Yeah. We have it on apple after dinner. It's delicious. Oh, yeah. Yum, yum, yum. On an apple. When you poop, is it just a muesli bar? You don't have to answer that, Maureen.

No, fair enough. You can if you want. Thanks, you call some more messages in. Someone said they worked it out how much chicken they eat and they eat up to five kgs of chicken a week. I wonder how much because I'd eat quite a bit. I'd have chicken most days. Five kgs though.

Of chicken. That's a lot. What's a normal serve, Like 175 grams or something? No one's having 175 grams of chicken. That's like one drumstick. What are we? No, it's not. What are you a?

It's like a breast. Dry. Okay. quarters of the chicken. I'm a fine, I'm a drumstick guy. Yeah. The wing and the breast. He's a butt guy. The wing's great. I'm a big butt guy. Yeah. Big lower half guy. You always have been.

Big butt guy. I eat 50 cans of kidney beans per year. So what, one a week? How? Nachos? That's a lot of beans and nachos. The only thing I'd use kidney beans for is nachos. Yeah, I guess if you're vegetarian, it's a real sort of meaty substitute.

Oh, right, is it? Got good protes, good fibre, good carbs. Make him tooty, though. Are you making patties out of it? Yeah, probably. Could you? Okay, yeah, right. So they fall into the burger category.

Roast dinners. Someone said, prior to moving to New Zealand, I had a roast dinner every Sunday for 20 years. Then Christmas dinner is a more juiced up version of a roast. And then on Boxing Day, of course, you have less, though. There's always an Easter roast, New Year's roast, and birthdays there's always a roast. So they'd be rocking what, like 50 at least?

At least 50 roasts a year. 50, 60. But then growing up, we would have been like that. Yeah, Sunday roast. Yeah, we always had a roast. Someone said, oopsie daisy, I've eaten at least a pack, maybe two packs of Mallow Puffs a week every week. Oopsie daisy.

Oopsie daisy. Yum. Oopsie daisy. Someone said bagels. I have two bagels every day. Two bagels are so pretty. They're so carby. Very dense.

Yeah. Yum, though. Remember when that bagel place was next to work? We put on a couple of KT. Oh, a couple? Yeah. Jeez Louise. Thankfully we moved. No bagels in. Oh, a couple? Yeah. Jeez Louise. Thankfully we moved.

No bagels in this block. It isn't too far, actually. You just can't see it from here. The problem was we could see it from the last place. Yeah, now we can't see it. Now we're starting to look like bun me's. Oh, yeah. How good's a bun me, though?

Someone said, I would have easily already had 60 burgers this year. Easily. Burgers are my absolute go-to. Because you can also think of them sometimes and be like, what, they've got vegetables? Tomato and onion and lettuce. Someone said my work day will consist of at least two pies. Yep.

So that's five days a week, two pies, ten pies a week. Ten times 52, you're looking at about 500 pies. Construction worker? I mean, they don't say, but I'm imagining they're in the trades, you know? Some kind of high-vis. Yeah, definitely high-vis with some hefty

boots. Or it could be an office worker just rocking the pies. I hope not. I hope not, because that's a city entry job. People out there working, moving a lot, they might have more of a chance of burning off all those pies. You're not going to fit into your Mitre 10 trade t-shirt, are you, Vaughan, if you keep eating those pies? If you those pies. You're not going to fit into your Mitre 10 trade t-shirt are you Vaughn

if you keep eating those pies? If you've just joined us Vaughn's wearing a Mitre 10 trade t-shirt. And if you've just joined us Vaughn in the dark just grabbed a charcoal coloured t-shirt

of which I own many. But I tell you what it's a good fit. Ready to work as well. You're missing the point is that you're not a tradie. I am a tradie.

You're not. I am. Very trade. You're not. I am. Very trade. Very trade orientated. Trade orientated. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's retro petrol time machine.

ZM's retro petrol time machine. I think they've gone for retro imaging as well. I love it. It is your chance to win free fuel every day, 8 o'clock, midday and 5, win today's gas at yesterday's prices. So it's all thanks to Gull, fueling your mission all year round. You can search Gull on Facebook to hear about discount days and prizes. And joining us this morning is Rosie. Good morning, Rosie. Oh, hi, guys. You can search Gull on Facebook to hear about discount days and prizes.

And joining us this morning is Rosie. Good morning, Rosie. Oh, hi, guys. Hi, Ryan. How are you? Good, good. All right, well, a tank of petrol today at today's prices costs $143. For the average tank. That's based on the average tank.

So we're going to go back in time and see what you would have paid. 1974. Oh, good year, 1974. Okay, get this. In 1974, to fill up your tank of gas would have cost you $7. Per litre? No. Per tank.

Oh my God, amazing. So we're going to top up the rest. So we're going to lock in $136 is all yours, Rosie. Oh God, thank you so much. But hang on, Rosie, it's your chance to double or nothing. To double or nothing.

So you can walk away right now with $136 of free gas. Guaranteed. It's yours. Or you can go double or nothing. So by answering this question from the year 1974. Now, before we give you the question, do you want to do it? You can lock it in. Because you could

walk away with $272 of free fuel. He's done a bit of maths over here. Do you want to take your shot? I'm confident you could get this. That's how much I'll, that's all I'll say about the question I'll ask you from 1974. But then you get it wrong and you get nothing.

What do you reckon, Rosie? What do you want to do? You want a double or nothing? Or take the $136? I think I'll just take the $136. She's playing it safe. Playing it safe. It's $136. Risk adverse Rosie, they call her.

Well, Rosie, congratulations. $136. All yours with the retro petrol time machine. Do you want to know what the question was? Do you want to know what the question was? No, absolutely not. Are you sure? Are we banking again?

We'll save it. Yeah, save it. I will say this, Rosie. The question was real easy. Oh, my God. I can't risk it. No, exactly. On a Monday.

Risk it first on a Monday. Yeah, I'm feeling that. She's risky on a Friday. I feel like if we'd ask you on a Friday, you'd be like, yeah. Risky, risky Friday. Yeah, go for it. All right, well, on your next. I'm feeling that. She's risky on a Friday. I feel like if we'd asked you on a Friday, you'd be like, yeah. Frisky, risky Friday. Yeah, go for it. All right, well, on your next chance to play Retro Petrol Time Machine, all thanks to Gull, is coming up at midday with Georgia and Brian Clint

this afternoon at 5 o'clock. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. And what an absolute treat and an honour to have Lizzo on the show. I'm happy to be here. I really am. Look at that shelf behind you. You've got a real mixed bag happening up there.

I see a giant hip flask, some awards. Is that what that is? That's a giant flask. You know, I carry that flask with me to almost like every event. I forgot to bring it to the Met Gala and I was so pissed. Oh my gosh. Literally midway through Lydia Kravitz, I looked at my friend and was like, I forgot my flask.

Did they not give you free drinks at the Met Gala? Rude. Oh, free drinks but like as soon as like the show starts, you gotta like, it's just you and the stage. I hate that. I hate that. That happens heaps in New Zealand as well. Like, you get to an awards thing and then you have

drinkies, then you go inside, they shut the doors. No more drinks. I know. I don't know. Like, it makes it more bearable when you have the tequila. But the Met Gala was fun. Well, let's start talking about the Met because one, obviously you looked incredible. Congratulations on your amazing outfit.

Thanks. But two, on the red carpet, of course, Lizzo, you whipped out the flute. I did. Not just any flute. That was a 55,000 handmade gold-plated, one-of-a-kind flute that was going to be in the Met called the Dryads Touch, dubbed the most beautiful flute in the world. What?

Does it make you nervous to play that? No. It's actually one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Like, as a flute player, like, it really gets your coochie wet when you can play a flute like that. The first sound that came out of that flute was like divine. It was angelic. Yeah, and I played Afternoon of a Fawn

by Debussy, who was a composer during the Gilded Age. And nobody got the reference, but I got the assignment. I got the reference. I'm a classical pianist and I was like, no, no she didn't. Amazing. It was so good. When you were at the reference, I'm a classical pianist and I was like, no, no she didn't. Amazing. It was so good.

When you were at the Met, was there someone, like one specific person that you were really looking forward to seeing? Because like, it's the who's who of Hollywood. Yeah, it is. For me, like, I, you know, I never know who's gonna be there so i always just like

rihanna beyonce rihanna be you know i i get excited for things like that um i saw nikki minaj which was like really cool and i like, timidly asked her for a photo. Do you still, I mean, you're Lizzo. Just to remind you who you are, you're Lizzo. Do you still get nervous when you're around other celebrities? Well, here's the tea. I've been Lizzo since, like, the seventh grade. So I don't think that, like, people don't make me nervous

as much as I like giving people their space and like minding my business. Like I love minding my business. It's like my favorite thing. It keeps me young. So I don't like bothering people. So I'm always like, okay, just don't look at her. Just don't look at her like that. I'll be like that.

But Nicki was very like, I was like, you look beautiful tonight, Nicki Minaj. And I looked away and then she was like, thanks, babe. And then she looked back and was like, girl, you was going to make me say thank you, baby. Come here. It's you. And she gave me a hug. I was like, it's me. It's me.

What does that mean? She means exactly what I said. Oh, my God. It's Lizzo. It's cool when people like, you know, know who you are and shit. It's pretty cool. Yeah, I can't relate to be fair. I mean, we're on radio.

We don't have faces most of the time. Right, you got voices though. Everyone knows your voice, honey. We do. Let's talk about Coachella. Is it true that you last minute went in with Harry Styles, that you were invited in last minute? Is that true?

Yeah, it definitely wasn't like a part of the long plan for Coachella. Like when people were making those like rumor tweets about me and even when like Andy Cohen was like, are you going to be on stage with Harry? I was like, no, I'm literally going to watch. Like that was almost like a birthday. It wasn't almost, it was literally a birthday trip and treat for me to be like, I'm going to go to Coachella and watch one of my favorite artists perform and get drunk with my girls. And then literally, I think it was Friday night, Thursday, he was like, do you want to sing?

And I'm like, yeah. And so I was like on my way to the desert. Thank God he asked you like the day before, because if your intention was to go to Coachella and get drunk with the girls and then he asked you like midday, you'd be like, I could probably have a little bit of a go singing a song. Right. Imagine, I was like stone cold sober too.

I was so nervous. I was like, I'm not drinking. And my friends were like, damn, have at least one drink. And so I was like, okay, one drink. So I had one drink before that performance because I was so freaking scared. I didn't want to perform on Harry's show. It's like, it's Harry's show and performing in front of that many people is like wild and actually kind of difficult. Do large audiences still make you nervous? They don't make me nervous. They are just, it's like technically difficult

to put in front of that many people. Because, so he wanted this thing where I came up in the middle of the audience and walked on the catwalk towards him. And he was on the stage. So the band is so far away from me that when that person hits the drums, it's like, and then it hits my ears like oh so the music is like i got a new new beat and i was like oh god like i didn't know where the beat

was i couldn't hear people screaming oh and then and then flying above and then harry styles is in front of you yeah it was the one thing that kept me calm. Like, it was so funny. He's such a sweetheart. And, like, we just were staring into each other's eyes, and he's like, you got this. Like, he was singing the lyrics and staring in my eyes the whole time. And I kept f***ing up, like, one of the lyrics,

and he would, like, do break. Break me, this guy. Break me. And I'd be like, break me with goodbye. He was my only rock out there. She was up on stage with Harry Styles at Coachella. She's on the show with us right now, Lizzo. And he's got a new album coming out.

Have you had an opportunity to have a little sneak peek, a little advanced listen? No, what the hell? That was good acting, I reckon. That was a little bit of good acting. Speaking of new albums. Yeah. This girl.

We have to talk about About Damn Time. Because, and I know that, you know, you'll get lots of reviews from music critics and the likes. But I do want to let you know, Lizzo, that my mum text this morning while your song was playing. And she, I've got to say, she doesn't like modern music very much. And she said, oh, I like this one. And then I said, yes, mum.

Yes, mum. Patsy Nye. I think that opinion matters so much more to me than music critics because it's like your job is to sit up and critique something that makes people feel good and is like an art form that comes from someone's soul. It's like, we're not making music for you, honey. I'm making music for your mom. Yeah.

I'm making music for me. I'm making music for people who like to twerk, like people who like music. Well, that's the thing. This song is so like, it's got that funky 70s vibe. Yeah. And I think like that's like intergenerational. The 70s has been good since the 70s. And even now, like everyone likes it from young people to lovely 61-year-old Patsy in New Zealand.

And you know, it was also such a pivotal time. At least I know in America, the 70s music helped people get out of a dark time. Yeah. And I felt like, oh, my gosh, like this is our, you know, opportunity to make music to push us out of this dark era, this dark period we've been in. And if we look forward to the rest of the album, is it going to follow in that vibe or is it like a bit of a mixed bag it's a mixed bag of amazing music like i'm so excited that people actually love about damn time and that it's doing well because i'm like if you like this song i've got even better ones oh wow because we were talking about this before when you you made that, when you're in the studio, you'd finished it.

Do you sit back and say, that's going to be huge? Because it's everywhere. It's TikTok. It's been on radio. It's gone so big so fast. It's hard to say because good music comes out all the time that doesn't perform well in streaming and on Billboard. And so I really, I can't really predict it. All I can do is make good music. I'm like, this is ironclad. Balenciaga, undeniable.

You know, I didn't even realize like the dance trend on TikTok was going to do what it was going to do. I saw the girl who did the the choreography and i was like this is so cute and i remember i was drunk at coachella and i was like i'm learning the dance i was like holiday i was i wish there was footage of this because i was like teaching everyone like my dance and my friends i was like i was like to pump me up okay five six and i learned it from me you know and to see the rest of the world fall in love with the same thing I fell in love

with is really incredible. Yeah I've been watching it on TikTok and there's like different ages, races abilities like everyone is getting on board and dancing and it's just like that's the power of music isn't it like bringing people together. Yes that is the power of music that's the point. Now before our't it? Like bringing people together. Yes, that is the power of music. That's the point.

Now, before our time is up, of course, you've got a show. You're doing everything. You're a busy lady. It's called Watch Out for the Big Girls. And it's you looking for dancers. Yeah, I mean, I need big girl dancers. I announced my tour, the special tour that's starting in September. And I'm like literally selling out

arenas y'all like what the hell and dive bars to like 12 people. So I need like dancers on stage and agents don't represent bigger body dancers so I went out and I found them myself and it's such an incredible

show. The girl, like you will cry on every episode. So please drink water because you will be dehydrated by episode two. I shit you not. You will be dehydrated. I feel like it's like the kind of show you need a glass of water because you're going to cry and maybe a glass of wine because you're also going to have a really good time. Period. It's very cathartic.

Not to mention I have on Yiddy. This is my shapewear line. Shapewear for every damn body. And you'll see some of the Yeti on the girls in the show as well, on the big girl show. TV, touring, music, clothing. And what about adding, will you add New Zealand a stomp on the tour? Please.

You know that I love New Zealand. Yes. Y'all know that I love the K-ways so I used to watch Flight of the Conchords first off I was obsessed with Flight of the Conchords and Lord of the Rings so y'all know that I've been down I've been loyal since the story

yes we also love Lazo how you say it? Lazo we love Lazo we love y'all I can't wait to be back cause you know How you say it? Lazo. We love Lazo. Lazo, we love you. I can't wait to be back because, you know, it don't stop. We're taking over the world.

Oh, my gosh. Well, we'll be so excited to host you when you do come, Lizzo. Fletcher's got a great couch. We'll show you around all the good places to eat and hang out. It'll be an amazing time. Fletcher's couch? She's got Grammy awards. She doesn't need a couch.

It's a good couch, Lizzo. Oh, honey, I could always use a good couch, especially in another country. Yeah. Lizzo, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us. Can't wait to see you. Thank you. Bye.

Bye. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is the eagle feather law. Are you familiar with the eagle feather law in the United States of America? No. Not familiar. Not. If you are found with an eagle or its parts, you can be fined up to $250,000 US dollars.

What? Is it because they're protected? It's a ownership thing. In the current language of the eagle feather law, you have to be of certifiable Native American ancestry. Yeah. And enrolled in a federally, federally? Federally. Federally recognized Native American tribe.

Right. And then you are legally authorized to obtain eagle feathers. But within each tribe, you've got to have certain members who are the feather collectors. Oh, okay. What if you just like ate your house and then just in your backyard, a feather fell from an eagle into your backyard, would you have to hand it in to someone or would you just chuck it away

and pretend you didn't find it? I don't know. Yeah, you could. I mean, if you didn't find it I don't yeah you could I mean if you didn't just chuck in the bin if you picked it up well I don't want to go to prison for an eagle feather

you could hand it in right yeah but eagles aren't going around like preening and going chewing a feather and spitting it out and then just watching

and being like flying away and getting the police and coming back and he's like he's got one I don't know why And he's like, he's got one. I don't know why the eagle would be British. He's got one down there.

You always see like seagull feathers, eh? Yeah, all the time. We get some keteroo feathers around our neck. They're beautiful. Oh, they're incredible. They're beautiful. All the way across our house. They're one of my faves, the keteroo.

You've got to watch out. They'll bloody take your head off. The big, fat. Yeah. Whereas the tui's are like. Yeah. You ever see a tui chase another bird? So agile.

Have you ever seen my cat chase a tui? Talk about agility. So agile. Our cat caught a bird mid-air What? We just heard this kerfuffle And I thought our fat ginger puss had fallen off the deck Because he's not

He's a unit He's a absolute unit He's tubby He's a tubby little fellow And he had jumped off the deck But not like you'd think the cat would jump And be like I'm going to land there on all But he jumped and he landed in the hedge And he had jumped off the deck, but not like you'd think the cat would jump and be like, okay, I'm going to land there on all. But he jumped and he landed in the hedge and he was like, wow,

and rolled out of it. But he jumped off and caught a bird mid. The bird was eating the little berries off of it. Was it just a yuck bird? Yeah, just a run-of-the-mill yuck one. Okay. Skanky bird. So, yeah, rewarded him for that, but not for catching native birds.

Yeah. He gets told off but he hasn't done it for a long while okay they're too they're too high up there so yeah

if you're ever in America and you find an eagle feather put it down put it down and walk away I just leave it exactly where it was

otherwise you can be fined $250,000 fact of the day day day day day Fact of the day Day, day, day, day How I wish sometimes that radio was a visual medium

Because I have a very funny photo in front of me There was a woman of two, a mother of, a woman of two, a woman of two children. Yeah. In the States, in Houston. And she went to go get some microblading done, which is the like semi-permanent eyebrow tattooing.

Oh yeah. That looks, you know, they go feather it so it looks like real hairs. I could probably get that done for, you know how my eyebrows fade out? Fade to nothing. And go fade to nothing. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you've noticed. Yeah, I've noticed. Yeah, okay, right. I notice every day. Well, she was like, I'm a busy mother of two. I don't have time to be filling in my brows all the time because they're quite light. I'm going to go and get them microbladed.

So she went to a local place and was, you know, put into the hands of a woman who said, yeah, I'm really confident with this. I can do that. That's absolutely no problem. A little bit in, the woman said, I don't want you to freak out. Oh, not what you want to hear. Okay, not in the middle of any kind of beauty procedure.

Yeah. Do you want to hear those words? She said, the woman said to hear. Okay, not in the middle of any kind of beauty procedure. Yeah. Do you want to hear those words? The woman said to her, look, it looks like I've gone too high with one of the hair strokes, like too far up the forehead. But it's fine because once the swelling goes down, that'll settle and you won't notice it. Yeah.

Then she looked in the mirror and she said it was horrifying. So basically she's gone... So like... But how? Oh, wow. It looks cartoonish. How? One and a half inches thick. It's like she's done it with a vivid and then just...

Four centimetres thick. And they're not... They're like thick, dark lines. You can see her real eyebrows underneath. Oh, God. I was just admiring Gwen Stefani's eyebrows. Because if you're of my vintage or maybe just a fan of 1990s, no doubt, Gwen Stefani had pencil-thin eyebrows.

Oh, my God, like one line of hair. Yeah. And now at the age of 52 years old, she... Is she 52? Is she 52? Get out. Her face isn't Is she 52? Get out. Her face doesn't know, does it?

No. But the work she's had done, subtle. Do you reckon? I just saw a photo on Instagram and a video of her talking. Okay. Maybe I've not seen the full thing.

But her eyebrows now are exactly on trend once again. Like a thick eyebrow. With a lovely shape. Not if she had been going to this place in Houston. Yeah, totally. Would you call that subtle plastic surgery for a 52-year-old? No, okay, maybe not.

Her lips are like tearing apart and her face is tight. I've seen worse. I've seen worse. Yeah, I've seen worse as well. But yeah, this poor woman, she said there was nothing she could do. It gets worse as well because it's tattooing. So even though it's not as permanent as like a normal skin tattoo,

it's semi-permanent, you have to have like removal treatment to get rid of it. On your eyebrows. To dissolve the pigment quicker because it does break down eventually, but to get it going. In order for her

to do it based on where she lives she has to travel to california which is 4 000 kilometers one way 8 000 oh yeah it's like i think i've done that houston to la flight it's like six hours yeah so she does that gets there gets the treatment done by this woman who is luckily doing it for free and has started a giveaway. She said her daughter woke up and went to go wake her up the next morning from bed and burst into tears. It's comical.

She's got these horrendous eyebrows. It's comical looking. Yeah. So maybe yours wasn't as bad, but I do want to hear if you've had a beauty botch up. Maybe something went... Maybe it was a DIY beauty thing that you were doing and

you ruined it. Maybe you ripped your upper lip off instead of the hair off. Maybe I've heard of a couple of my friends who have tried to do DIY Brazilians, put the wax on and then chickened out Oh no, you don't chicken out.

Then had to cut it out. Had to cut it out like a plop. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The longer you wait, the worse it's going to get. The worse it's going to get, exactly. Oh, you can't chicken out once you've got the wax on. Yeah, when I was 11 years old, I always had bushy brows, and this is well, but this is Gwen Stefani's era

where it was not trendy. So I begged my mum at 11, please let me go to a beauty therapist had bushy brows and this is well but this is Gwen Stefani's era where it was not trendy so I egged my mum at 11 please let me go to a beauty therapist and get her to just like thin them up a bit yeah and my mum went in and she was like do not make them pencil thin and the woman was like no no it'll be so subtle I had Gwen Stefani's to the point where the next day I went to intermediate and my teacher was like oh look at those. We're talking about your botched beauty bad tales, basically. A woman in America, she went to go get some microblading, get her eyebrows done, and they honestly,

they take up half her forehead now. It's worth Googling that story just to see how comical they look. Oh, my God, they're so funny. Very thick. Very thick. Yeah. With comical wispy... Wispy lines.

It's terrible. Yeah, it's like a life-ruiner, though. Yeah. So much stress. Always good when it's an anonymous caller. Anonymous, what was your beauty botch-up? Well, it's not my beauty botch-up, but it's a girlfriend of mine.

Okay. They were in lockdown, and she's a beauty therapist by trade. Yeah. And her husband's a builder. And he's quite fair. And she thought, oh, look, we'll just darken up your eyebrows, babe. You know, they're looking a little bit, you know, because he's a bit

older. You know, he's in his late 50s. A few greys in the brows. Yeah, okay. So she applied the dye. The dye. Anyway, she got distracted. The courier arrived.

No, no. Delivery, so she got distracted and she came back. Oh, shit. Shoot. And she took it off. He went from, he's quite fair, to having these really thick, dark eyebrows. So she tried to even it up

by doing his goatee oh no oh no it's like when you're trimming the hedges and they're uneven you just keep trimming them down

until there's nothing it was so funny he looked like he'd been sucking on the end of an exhaust pipe that was just it was at least it was

locked down though like you know you can hide in your house right i just showed them off yes and no like he's a but he turned up on building site and like because it takes a while to just die yeah yeah it takes ages oh my god how embarrassing yeah she was trying everything like to get it to lighten up anyway he was the laughingstock on site. We still laugh about it. Brilliant. Alright, anonymous, thanks for your call. Keep your calls coming in. 0800 Dials.M, you can text 9696.

Your beauty botch-ups. We'll see more of those next. And we're talking about your beauty botch-ups. Yeah, a woman in America, her eyebrows are now covering the majority of her forehead. Hayley, what was your beauty botch up? So I went and got a spray can a couple of days before my wedding,

and I went home. Oh, no. We don't want to hear beauty botch up and wedding in the same sentence, please. Oh, I looked great. I looked great. Okay, good. I went home, fell asleep, forgot to have a shower. And my five-month-old woke up and wanted to be fed. And so I was like, okay, you know, breastfed her, put her back into a bed.

And it wasn't until the next morning that I realized I'd forgotten to have a shower. So my spray tan had mushed all over her face. And my child looked like an oomph-oomph for my wedding. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Applied instead of using a mitt, you used the breast to apply the tape. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

That's so good. Hey, at least you looked good. Exactly. I looked great. And great photos for the baby's 21st. Absolutely. Yeah. Hayley, thanks for your call.

Sam, tell us, what was your beauty botch up? All right. So my girlfriend's best mate back in England decided to use an epilator. You know what an epilator is? Yes, yeah, a little tweezer, Pugliardi hair machine. It's big in the 90s. A packing machine. Yeah.

Two rolling wheels into each other, basically. Oh, God. Jesus. And, yeah, she decided she was going to, instead of shaving or wiping downstairs... No! She decided she was going to give that a go. No, no, no, you don't need to polite the fanny.

No, no, no, no. I know, but she did not know this. Anyway, she obviously went a bit too deep and got one half of downstairs pulled up into the mechanism. Flap trap! Flap trap! Oh, my God!

Wow. Had to get taken to A&E to get it removed and a little bit of surgery. Oh, my God. A little bit of surgery. It's God. A little bit of surgery. It's just not worth it. Those things should be banned. No. Sam, thanks so much for sharing. Some other text messages.

Somebody said, you should look up what Tilly from Big Brother Australia did to her face with a home job tattoo freckle attempt. Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. With my no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. With my Scottish heritage, I have a tinge of ginge resulting in light brows. Decided to do the microblading also.

You've got a bit of, we've both got a bit of Scottish heritage, don't we? I'm largely Scottish. Oh, my God. Speaking of which, Ancestry.com have updated their thing. I'm now only 2% Swedish Are you going to take your omelette off your Instagram profile? Have you lost your omelette? Oh my god, I haven't updated my Instagram profile

How many omelettes are you rocking? I've got two on my first name Oh no, you're down to one omelette Oh no You're down to one omelette I'm 3% Swedish and just way more boring white Has mine changed? It's unbelievable.

No, apparently they did my friend message and said they'd done a big update. So I was like, well, I'm probably going to be 15% Swedish now. Getting all cocky. Yeah, but you've got cocky. But you're getting some Iberian Peninsula back too. How much Swedish are you? Three. I'm three.

I'm going to add an omelette. Damn it. Where are you going to add your omelette? To the first A? Your first A. And the O in Sprout. Well, I lost my login. And I messaged them and they said, we don't have records of you.

I was like, you've deleted my very existence. Oh, you're going to have to start again. I'm going to have to spit in another tube. Yeah. But I want to be the 23andMe spitting the tube. Because the 23andMe spitting the tube gives you all those funny things like how you have sticky earwax. Yeah. And you won't like coriander and all those funny things like how you have sticky earwax and you won't like coriander

and all those weird little genetic markers and then they're sitting on all this information about your families, like cancer history or if you're prone to degenerative disease and they don't tell you. Tell me 23andMe. They can't diagnose you.

No, tell me. I don't want to make you panic. Do I get an omelette for being Norwegian as well? Because that's 4%. Are you? That's 7% there. Oh, Scandi. Yeah, yeah,. Do I get an omelette for being Norwegian as well? Because that's 4%. Are you? That's 7% there. Oh, Scandi. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's two omelettes. So your E can have an omelette too. 3%. I'm 25% Scottish. God. I'm going to get some ginge coming through soon. Well, that's why they said, long story short,

regarding the microblading on the light eyebrows, thanks to being Scottish, long story short, somehow in the healing process, half of one of my eyebrows fell off. Oh, just crumbled away. Yeah. How does that end?

Like coastal erosion. It is just like coastal erosion. My workmate is a beauty therapist, was giving a man an earwax to get the hairs out of his ears. And they managed to ripple the skin out of his ears and he pulled they managed to rip all the skin

off the little tragus area there was blood everywhere the ambulance came pay other patients fainted workmates fainted

yuck yuck it was already all go few home Brazilian wax attempts gone very wrong leave that to the

professionals and don't worry about them seeing you downstairs they've seen way worse there's always someone worse than about them seeing you downstairs. They've seen way worse. There's always someone worse than you. I know you always say they've seen worse than mine, but someone's is the worst.

What if it's mine?