ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 16th November 2022

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. We've been told to cross to the producer's booth. This is what we'll do. The producer's studio, this is what we'll do right now. Morning.

Hello. Good morning. Good morning. We have received a package. Who's it addressed to? It's technically addressed to Carlin and I, but it is for you three. Wow. Well, it's odd that it's not addressed primarily to the three of us.

Yeah. What is that? Because I went out to go for a, take a slash. I was trying out a new term. Yeah. And you were hiding it from me. Oh, Georgia's going to bring it in. Yep, Georgia's bringing it in.

Hand delivery. Hi, Georgia. Welcome to the podcast. Oh, my God. Talking to the microphone. Do you even know how the radio works? What's radio? What is radio?

Oh, God. She's walked in in her fucking half shoes. Another pair of fucking half shoes. Guys, I bet by the end of summer you'll have a pair of these aged. I won't. In summer, you've got your toes out. You're showing off the wrong bit. Now, this is like leading into, I don't want my, my toes aren't that

like tan and sexy at the moment. No, we checked out your toes the other day. Actually, we did a toe check. Good toes. Good toes. Oh, my right foot, left foot's not as good because my second toe's bigger than my big toe. How would you describe these shoes for the listener? So think of like a pointed boot. Yeah.

But the whole back is cut off. It's missing. And the boot is made of rattan. Yeah, so it's like your nana's chair. And then the other shoes you've got are like sandals made of rope. No, she's also got a pair of cowboy boots that are half boots. The black ones that are like low. Is this a thing at the moment in country music?

Half boots. No, guys, I'm just like here for the people, you know? If you've got a little style that you want to rock, you rock it. Okay. But if I don't like Crocs, I will never be seen dead in Crocs. I will never be seen dead in Crocs. Ever. Vaughn's on big Croc money now.

Love Crocs. Who are you? I'm not being convinced. He loves them. He's a North Shore fuckboy, basically. He absolutely is. Do you wear them? His Jimny. Love crocs. Who are you? I'm not being convinced. He loves them. He's a North Shore fuckboy. He absolutely is. His chimney and his crocs. He's got a chimney croc.

You just need a little cross earring, a real dangly earring. A dangly earring? Yep. And a bum bag. And you've completed it. Have you got gibbets? Is that what they're called?

Gibbets. Yeah, that's gibbets. Oh, do you? Oh, what a gibbet. Oh, yeah. So I'm back on board with you now, Georgia. Thank you. Because that's also a half shoe, a croc.

Yeah. It's not really a slide. But it's comfortable. It's a slip-on. Some of these. Oh, my God. You just couldn't slip those on if you had a sock and you needed to pop out the washing line

and get your washing in. Do you know what? That's my issue is they're technically a shoe, but you can't wear a sock with them because the back's cut off. Hey, guys. I'm really sorry to interrupt. Oh, there's a box.

We have a song name. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, but don't. because the back's cut off. Hey, guys. Really sorry to interrupt. Oh, there's a box. We have a full name. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, but don't. Next time, whoever's delivering the box, have them wear full shoes. Yeah, I will. It's pro-house shoes. It's an Osh thing, really. Occupational safety and health.

Oh, no, because I'm well in here. See, they've even got the bit at the back. Right. Okay. I feel like you need to sniff these first and you'll instantly know what they are. Close your eyes? Yeah. Okay.

Don't say one of these. Sniff it and you'll instantly know what they are. Close your eyes? Yeah. Okay. Don't say what it is. Don't say what it is. Sniff it and then. Pickles. Pickles. I smell pickles. Yeah, I smell pickles. I smell pickles.

Everybody's really being dainty about their sniffs. Tell me what's in front of my nose. It is, yeah. Pickles. Is it pickles? What is this? In that box are four dickles. Pickles!

Triggered! Triggered! What the fuck is this? There's cream. They're like... Pickle donuts. Yeah. I don't know how I feel.

I'll go. God, I already had a donut today. A second batch of donuts. I was going to have one bite and then the whole thing jumped in my mouth. I don't understand if it's supposed to be savoury or sweet. Well, it's both, isn't it? It's like salted caramel. Oh, my God.

It's a stuffed donut, too. Oh, my God, yeah. What is the cream in it? Cream cheese. Okay, savoury cream cheese. But that... I'm so sorry about these noises. It sounds disgusting.

Oh, I don't know. I don't think I'm going to like it. Go do it. Do it. I'm conflicted. What else tastes like pickle? Because you didn't bite the pickle. I thought you would have had to have bite the pickle.

It's a cream cheese. No, because the cream cheese has pickles in it. Okay. On the inside stuffing. Then it's a sweet bread. Then it's a sweet sugary icing. It's glazed. The pickle, so the cream cheese has pickles in it. Oh, yeah, okay. On the inside stuffing. Then it's a sweet bread. Then it's a sweet sugary icing. It's glazed icing. The pickle on top.

Are these available or are these just for us? Special limited edition donut in collaboration with McClure's Pickles for International Pickle Week. Hi, McClure's Pickles. Do you want to buy it? Yeah, I do. Happy International Pickle Week. I want to get the pickle in the donut as well.

Made by Dough Donuts. Oh, my God. Yeah, good. Dough Donuts. Good work. Do you want to buy it, F I would appreciate it. Happy International Pickle Week. I want to get the pickle in the donut as well. Made by Dough Donuts? Oh, my God. Yeah, good. Dough Donuts. Good work. Do you want to bite, Fletch? No. It's so good.

No, I'm all right. But I'm... I think I'm going to eat this whole thing. Do it, Fletch. It's an endearing smell. Oh, here we go. Do you know what I mean? It's conflicted.

Vaughn's taken a massive bite. He's got a lot of the donut, a lot of the pickle, a lot of cream cheese, a good cross-section. It is so confusing to the mouth. Is it? All right. It's pickles. It's not yuck, though.

It's yum. It's a confusing time for young Vaughn. He's putting a dickle in his mouth. And he doesn't know if he likes it. Wow. Like, do you reckon you'll go back for some dickle? I'm going back for more dickle I would recommend to my friends It's weird

Please get a dickle in you Yeah you usually want to shy away from a dickle The moment I bite into the dickle I don't like it But then the longer it's in my mouth the more I like it It like kind of grows on you, so to speak. It really does. Wow.

I'm going to finish this dickle. It voids halfway through his. What does the... The cream cheese reminds me of something, but I can't quite... Is it like a juice? Is it like pickled juice in with the cream? No, no, no. It's pickles cut up.

Oh, wow. Okay. It's yum. But the cream cheese has given me flashbacks to Nam. No, like it tastes like salmon, but I can't. Like a carrot cake? No, it's like a savory use of it. I can't explain it.

Salmon. I like it though. Well, guys, happy pickle week. Happy dickle. Happy dickle. I love the dickle That's what it reminds me of Like a

Salmon cream cheese Salmon cream cheese dip Oh yeah okay Sort of situation Yeah Nice Yeah Oh well thank you to

Who sent them? Dough Donuts Dough Donuts Yeah There's two donuts on one day So Yeah The fucking journey to health

Was derailed for today Let's go get some pizza or something No so I go home and smoke some fucking crack. God damn it! Play Zed-In's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

We've just learned that Hayley's had a deprived childhood. I know. I just, I mean, I don't remember it. My dad was the president of the Eastbourne Swim Club. Ooh la la. I know. Did he used to do lanes in his speedos? I don't know if he used to jump in the pool.

So he was the president of the pool without being a swimmer? Yeah, so my brother and I used to be part of the swim club in the 90s. And then one day there was like a meeting, you know, about swim club. And my mum was sick. She said, oh, Craig, can you go on my behalf? He came back and he was like, I'm the president. Power move from Craig. What a sucker.

I know, I'm a real sucker. Yeah. But no, I don't remember whirlpooling. Oh my God, whirlpooling. Yeah, you jump in, all the kids run around. It works better with adults because we're bigger and we move a little bit more water. It works best in one of those old, out-of-ground round pools

that we had when we were growing up. It was on a frame. And it works. I don't know if it would work in one of those new plastic-framed ones. You might actually, like, blow the frame out. But you'd run around and around and around and around and around. Everyone runs in the same direction. And it just gets the water crazy moving.

And then you, like, you effectively curl into a ball and see what happens. Yeah. You make it like a mini lazy river. Yeah. It's great. It's so much fun. And you never did that as a kid. Can you guys whirlpool me?

Yeah, we'll whirlpool you. Absolutely, yeah. We need to find a round pool. A's so much fun. And you never did that as a kid. Can you guys whirlpool me? Yeah, we'll whirlpool you. Absolutely, yeah. We need to find a round pool. A round pool, yeah. What are they called? Para pools. Yeah. They were the old pools, eh?

Does para rubber still make a pool? You can do it in a small rectangular pool if you've got enough people. Yeah, but... It's not as good. The best part about the surf is the rule that you just stick to the outside and run. Yeah. I think that was my issue as I grew up swimming in only square pools. Big, big local pools.

But then the reason we got to talking about it is because my daughter said she arrived late to swimming yesterday and they'd started a whirlpool. I was like, wicked. But her school has a square pool, a concrete square pool. Yeah, it can be done. It can be done. It can be done. Yeah, it can be done. It can be done.

That's beautiful. What about a pool that's vastly different depths at each end? So when you get to the deep end, you're like barely struggling to keep your head above water. That's where you could probably ride it. Well, we can organise that for you. Well, thank you. Give you a little whirlpool. If anybody's

got a round parapool, we just need to pop over for 20 minutes because you're pretty tired at the end of it too. Yeah. It's like aqua sprinting on aqua jogging.

I think we are doing our ZM Christmas party at a place at the pool. I'm not there. I'm at a wedding. Well, you're going to miss out on the whirlpool.

The whirlpool. We did a whirlpool last year. Are you not going to that? Nah. I was thinking we could share an Uber and cut the costs. We did a whirlpool last year. Are you not going to that? Nah. I was thinking we could share an Uber and cut the costs. I guess I'm not going either. Oh, he's devastated. Jared, you live, how are you and I going to share an Uber?

You live 30 kilometres away from me. That's not sharing an Uber. Oh, well. All right, coming up on the show are the top six and great news for lime lovers. Yes, not the scooters, the delicious little green citrus of which the scooter gets its name, and I don't know why. Maybe just because the scooters were green when they bought them. Right on mojito season, the Prime Minister delivery.

Jacinda's got us cheap limes from Vietnam. Because we've got to import them during our summer, don't we? I think we have to import them all the time. Yeah. No, not my house. Most of the time. You've got a lovely lime tree.

Luscious lime tree. You know, let's get back to some sensible planting. Let's get back to state-sized sections with two citrus on each. Yes. Was it two citrus on each state section? Yeah.

And a swingy, washy lime. I can't wait for you to bring your limes in. I made all those lime ice cubes. You did. And a swingy, washy lime. I can't wait for you to bring your limes in. I made all those lime ice cubes. You did. And they've lasted all this time. There's not a single

lime on the tree now. I've got a lime tree but he's not as mature as yours. Yeah. But I've got, my lemonade tree's bounced back.

Oh. I've got a couple of citrus bouncing back from the corners of death. So, Jacinda's got a whole lot of cheap limes from her trip to Southeast Asia.

So I've got the top six other things I'd quite like her to pick up while she's over there. Alright, it's got us a whole lot of cheap limes from her trip to Southeast Asia. So I've got the top six other things I'd quite like her to pick up while she's over there. Alright, it's coming up in the top six. Free fuel as well this morning at seven and eight

with ZMD Tank. Listen out for the activators just before the news. Up next, say what you will about Jeff Bezos. And I'll say a lot of things about him.

He's making a pretty big move. Okay. Pretty big gesture. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. He's making a pretty big move Okay Pretty big gesture We're talking about absolute water disasters Are we going to talk about this later? Your absolute disaster? Oh, Vaughan's been on there I think at 10 to 8 Dig a chat

Jeez Dig a, dig a, dig a, dig a 10 to 8 Dig a chat Jeff Bezos How, what's his wealth? Jeffrey Jeffrey Bezos Give him a Google What's Jeffrey Be's his wealth? Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Give him a Google. What's Jeffrey Bezos' wealth? Well, it used to be double until he had to give his wife half. Born in 1964. She built Amazon with him, Fletch. He might have been the figurehead, but that's the patriarchy speaker and I won't stand for it. Good for her. 107 billion, I believe

is his fortune. Pounds, that is. No, 124. What did you say? 107 billion, I believe, is his fortune. Pounds, that is. No, 124. What did you say? 107 billion. Oh, I've got 124 billion here. That's US. US. Well, this is pounds.

Right, okay. So 200-ish. Yeah, that kind of works out. Born in 1964. That's one of the best songs off that Bo Burnham, Inside. Did you ever watch that? Oh, that was so good. Yeah, it was great.

When he sang a song about Jeffrey Bezos because he was doing all the Amazon deliveries during lockdown. Well, Jeff Bezos made an announcement, an official announcement to say he is planning on. Did we know he was a 1.75, 1.71? What? It's a little bit short. Is he a short king?

It explains so much, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. He's 5'6". He's 5'6". He's a little fellow. Is that 5'6"? 1'7". 1'7".

1. 1'7". 1. That's eight centimetres shorter than me. It explains so much, doesn't it? He's a little fellow. Explains so much. Aggressive petite man.

And his big dick rocket. Yeah, big dick rocket. He's got a lot. Well, he has just announced he's planning on giving away the majority of his $107 billion fortune. Pounds. He announced in a new interview

that he's going to donate the bulk of his money. Now, he hasn't given a monetary figure, but, you know, it'll be a lot. To philanthropic causes. Lucky Phil. Yeah, I know, Phil. I don't know, I don't know. Thropic, but they sound like a hell of a pair.

Yeah, I know. Towards fighting climate change. As well as supporting people who can unify humanity. It feels very vague, doesn't it? The irony of this while his prime jets fly around the world delivering Amazon packages is not lost on me. Yeah, it's definitely not lost on me either. Also, when? Is he just like at a later date, like down the track when I die, stop hassling me?

He seems currently building the capacity to give it away. Right. Within his lifetime. His wife has given a lot of it away, his ex-wife, that he gave half his fortune to. As soon as she got it, she was like, she married that school teacher that's already gone kaput, eh? Has it?

Yeah, I think so. So he said that he's declined to say the specific percentage of his fortune or the specific place that it will be donated to or specifically when. But I'm gonna. But I'm gonna, yeah. That's what my mum used to call a gunner. Whenever I'd say I'm gonna do something,

she'd be like, oh, gunner's brow. It's when my mum retired and they gave her this, this round ceramic thing called a tuat. What? This is called a tuat. What? This is a round tuat. You've been saying you'll eventually get a round tuat. Oh. Oh, my God.

She loves it. No, no, it hangs beside the calendar. Yeah. Beside where the old landline used to be. Remember how there was always a calendar beside the landline? Yeah, well, you needed to check dates before you committed to a potluck. Exactly, and you needed to write it straight on the calendar. Yep. So you didn't forget. So he's saying it before you committed to a potluck. Exactly, and you needed to write it straight on the calendar. Yep.

So you didn't forget. So he's saying it's quite hard to donate all your money. I suppose it... There'd be a lot of loopholes. Yeah, he said the hard part is figuring out how to do it in a levered way. It's not easy. Building Amazon was not easy and took a lot of hard work. Oh, boo-hoo.

You're all right, mate. But yeah, that's the plan. Right, okay. So there you go. So get off his back. He's going to give it away. Well. Down the track, sometime.

Gunna. Yeah, gunna. Oh, gunna Bezos. Oh, I can't wait. This is good. This could only be good. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You, my boys.

You wouldn't have had. My boys. You guys wouldn't have had my boys. You guys wouldn't have had cell phones at high school. I got mine last year of high school. Right. It was only me and a couple of other people. What was your last year of high school? 1999.

I know, hard to believe. Look at this face. Dorian Gray over here. You should see my portrait. Jesus. It's beautiful. But was it like a big bricky thing? It wasn't a big bricky.

Or a snake. It was a Motorola Silver Bullet. Oh, mine was a 3310. Oh, I think we're straight to Nokia. 1999, first cell phone. I never had one of those Alcatel DB OneTouch. Everybody had one of those. Yeah.

Yellow, orange, they were all colours and they sat in a cradle. Yeah. Yes, I remember those. Charging cradles. Well, mine was 2003 and I had my mum's old hand-me-down sort of flip phone thing. Oh, yeah. But we used to always play on them because you'd get boys' numbers

on the bus and text them during the day and have little messages and stuff. There was no pick-sting yet. You couldn't send a photo. Right. So you couldn't really use them too much at school. No, no. You couldn't use them too much. But they're just so expensive to use them. Yeah. 20 cents a text. Yeah. And you only topped up $20.

So it wasn't a lot. Except on Wednesdays when it was free texting between 12 and 2. Yes, it was. Yes. Well, Ashburton College is banning cell phones between the school hours. Right. So from the moment you get there to the moment it's time to leave,

the last bell rings, so to speak, it's to be offered in a bag, not in your pocket, including interval and lunchtime. Oh, okay. Because we used to get them out. Yeah, because I would have thought most schools now are like, put them in your bag, don't have them out in class, and then just use them on breaks, right? Well, they're saying that absolutely nothing,

like not even during interval. And the reason they're doing it is not because of distractions but because of bullying. Oh, what, because you don't have the latest iPhone? Yeah, maybe. No, no, no, because they'll cyber bully you. Yeah. Oh, right.

While you're at school. Right, okay. And then you just go home and then you've got backlogged bullying. Yeah. You know what I mean? You get home, you've been procrastinating, you're bullying all day. You've really got to put a couple of hours into catching up on it. I prefer to get my bullying live.

Drip fed. The school can't control what the kids do out of school hours. I'm sure they'd love that they all backed off social medias. Do you think how fortunate like, fortunate it was to not have Instagram, social media, cell phones? Yeah. Yeah, totally. Like, the level that it is now, like...

But we had good old-fashioned physical bullying. Oh, just hiding. Intimidation, pushing into puddles. Yeah. So they are saying, you know, part of it is the distraction, the ability to focus, you know, especially like you say, like Instagram. I mean, I'd never had anything like that. Like I use Instagram now, I'm just like scroll, scroll, scroll.

Like I become a zombie. Whereas like there was nothing like that when I was growing up. Well, yeah, you could literally be in class and I mean, it would be hard to watch TikToks because you have to have an earpiece. Yeah. Have your earpod in. I guess we called them books. That was how we'd sort of

pass our time. We'd scroll. We flipped. We flipped. We flipped. We flipped. We flipped. Can't get enough.

Can't get enough. Magazines. We used to pull open the Dolly Doctor sealed section. Learn a few things about a willy and a fanny. And a boobie. That's how you like

outrageous techniques. You'd be like, that's not right. Surely not. Not that much teeth. That doesn't make a lot of sense. Yeah. We'd be sitting there reading'd be like, that's not right. Surely not. Not that much teeth. That doesn't make a lot of sense. Yeah, we'd be sitting there reading and be like, interesting, interesting.

We're 14 years old. Interesting. It'll be five years before this even happens. Yeah, I've never even rushed a boob yet. Interesting. Interesting. But anyway, so they're saying not only the distraction, but yeah, bullying.

It gives them quicker access to be able to distribute harmful content like bullying, harassment, sending it directly to people, distracting them from their day. You're seeing large numbers of people sitting at breaks, at break time, just staring into their screens for the whole 40 minutes or whatever. Not even doing anything. Get outside, play some, what was the kind of cricket you used to play? Bat down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Play bat down, yeah.

Play a bit of that. Bit of tarch or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go pash in the bush at least or get some vitamin D. Bigger pattern? Get some sunshine. When you're in the bush having a pash, get some vitamin D. You get some sunshine.

Was that in the Dolly Doctor, was it? It was in the sales section. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Ely. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, Limes Delicious Little citrus What are the best? Do they ever go under $20 a kg

At the supermarket? Ever? I don't know about at the supermarket. I always just buy those little lime sachets. Yeah, same. Or you can get like bottles of lime juice, just cheaper. Same. Bottles of, oh yeah, they're okay, eh? They'll go in a pinch.

If you're making mojitos though, you kind of do need to grind the lime. You need a bit of pulpy. Yeah. What about those lime fingers? Have you seen those? No. And they're like a long lime. They look like a chilli, but they're a lime.

And inside, it's all just like hundreds of little... Oh, no, I have seen those. Yes. They're super expensive. Wow. But they're pretty cool. Okay. Also, apparently, we get...

So, limes we're getting from Vietnam in a new trade deal. We're also getting pomelos. Pomelos? Pomelos. It's a principal ancestor of the grapefruit. It's a natural non-hybrid citrus. Oh, yeah. This looks yum.

Oh, it's pink. There's pink ones. It's the largest citrus fruit in the family. Yeah, because this is the photo of, look, there's a photo here of Jacinda with the Vietnamese Prime Minister. And I was like, that's not a lime, that's bloody massive. That's a pomelo. Similar in taste to a grapefruit, but sweeter.

How is it on the pill? Is it going to affect my contraceptive pill? Oh, good question. Don't want to get pregnant over these pomelos. What are the side effects of eating pomelo? No major nor notable. All right. Maybe.

Maybe this is the one to eat when you're on the contraceptive pill. But it's just vitamin C, isn't it? Is it too much vitamin C? I don't know. It's something that's in other food as well. No, because you're still allowed oranges, aren't you? Yeah, oranges and kiwi fruit and stuff. Yeah.

Hold on. Pomelo fruit. Safe on the pill. Grapefruit and birth control. It's worth noting that this has never been proven. Really? Grapefruit and its juice can interact with more than 80 different medicines. Yeah, right.

But it's never been proven to affect the pill. Okay. But just to be safe. Sounds like someone forgot a few days and then blamed the grapefruit to me. Yeah, exactly. So cheap limes as well. Limes, limes, delicious limes. Yum.

We're going to be getting limes, which is apparently going to make limes cheaper. I mean, there's 2% sway in the polls right there. Yeah, thank you, Cindy. That'll get even some hardened young gnats. Oh, yeah, because young gnats love a mojito. Yeah. Young gnats love a Corona with a segment of lime. And when it's lemon, they get a little bit hoity-toity.

They do. Well, I've got the top six other things that Jacinda could pick up for us in Southeast Asia while she's there. Number six on the list, a Momo steering wheel and gear stick combo. Yeah. For the car. Are they cheaper over there? Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, get some sick steering wheel, bro. Okay, cool.

Get a sick steering wheel. Number five on the list of the top six other things Jacinda could pick up for us in Southeast Asia, a bintang singlet I haven't been to Bali You went to Bali recently I believe Did I? I can't remember

I did go to Bali recently You mentioned it once I think Once maybe in passing But it was this year It was this year Yeah I went to Bali It was a hell of a place I haven't been for many years

And my bintang singlet's completely buggered So you need a new one I need a new bintang singlet Of course you and my bintang singlet's completely buggered. So you need a new one. I need a new bintang singlet. Of course you bought a bintang singlet. I didn't. He did. He's dead. I did not buy a bintang singlet. One that hangs real low

so your nipples are out on the side a little bit. Yeah, my God. What a trashy Australian. Number four on the list of the top six other things Jacinda could pick up for us in Southeast Asia are all the dipping sauces, please. No one does dipping sauce like the Asian cuisines. Yeah.

Here we are with tomato. Yeah. How embarrassing. We go for a creamy, thick sauce. It's very liquidy. Yeah, watery. Yeah, Vietnamese dipping sauce. I wouldn't say no to a hoisin. Wouldn't say no to a hoisin. Oh, I love a hoisin. High in sugar, though. That's why I like it.

Yeah, it's sweet. It's yummy. Number three on the list of the top six other things Jacinda could pick up for us all in Southeast Asia. Maybe a Gucci or a Louis Vuitton handbag. Yeah. Yes. It's sweet. It's yummy. Number three on the list of the top six other things Jacinda could pick up for us all in Southeast Asia. Maybe a Gucci or a Louis Vuitton handbag. Yeah. You mean a Gucky. A Gucky. Or a Louise Vuitton.

A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky. A Gucky.

Louise. Louise. Beautiful Louise with her handbags. Number two on the list of the top six things Jacinda could pick up for us in Southeast Asia. Some of those fisherman's pants. Oh, yeah. Love those.

Do they also call them elephant pants or do they have elephants on them? Some have elephants on them. Yeah. Probably in Thailand you get the elephants on them. Parachute pants. They'd be good for a blow tank.

Oh, they're just good for a... They're breezy. You've got to wear undies under them though otherwise it's... It's all hanging. I know. It's a whole wangabout town situation. It's a whole situation down there. It's the original grey track pants challenge.

It really is. Truly loose. Truly free, as God intended it to be. And number one on the list of the top six other things Jacinda could pick up for us all in Southeast Asia, some prescription meds. Yeah. It's harder, but I'm sure they'll do her a solid.

Chuck her a few Valium, maybe some sleepy pills for the way home. Yeah, I'm on an expensive oral contraceptive, so I could get some of that. You should get some of that one. Yeah. As long as you don't eat too many of the grapefruits she's bringing back. Would you trust a generic brand from a pharmacy in Thailand for that? We've done for the last 12 months. Okay, fine.

Seems fair. All good. Medical. I don't see a baby. I don't see a baby anywhere. Dr. Tick. Yeah. Dr. Sproul.

That is today's top six. I actually had forgotten about this. So yesterday we left our work laptops at work. Yeah. To get updated. We're not allowed to update. We're not allowed. We're not allowed to do anything on our laptops.

Not allowed to download anything. I don't know, dear listener, if you've picked up on that. It's been mentioned a few times in the last couple of days. It's a sore point. It's a sore point. It's annoying. Do you want to install an app? Oh, no, you're not allowed to. It's a sore point. It's annoying. Do you want to install an app? Oh, no, you're not allowed to.

It's a sore point. Oh, okay. Oh, you want to watch a little bit of sexy movies? Not allowed to. All right. Want to watch Pornhub at work? Not allowed to. It is the bullshit.

I'll come back to this because it was something I thought of yesterday. Anyway, a few, like a couple of weeks ago, my laptop, which I bought in 2016, it's a MacBook but it's a very old one. Yeah. I was hearing this noise coming from next to my bed. Can I just say, 2016, you'd never get that with a Windows, would you? You probably would.

It'll probably last for like 10 years. Oh no, no, Jared's now telling me you can. Can you actually, do they last that long now? Yeah, my one's been going for a fair bit longer. Yeah, they last way longer than that. No, they don't. True story. You've got to install Norton antivirus. I've never done that.

That one's riddled. Bit of McAfee? Yeah, McAfee. Do you have to do a defrag? I do frequent defrags, and I believe that's why it's still working. You do frequent defrags? Yeah, dog. I'll never be converted.

Anyway, but I heard this noise and it was like, you know, like someone trying to come through on a radio. Oh, yeah. Like you're on an island and you've got a little radio and it starts going. And you're like, oh, my God. Help is on its way. Well, I heard this noise and I was like, what the hell is that?

And then I was like, you know when you're like, yeah, that's this noise and I was like, what the hell is that? And then I was like, you know when you're, yeah, that's the noise. I'm just playing your Instagram. So this was the noise I heard. I picked up my MacBook, which was, by the way, had been off, I reckon,

for like at least a week and was off, like closed. It was just making that noise. Making that noise while it was off and closed. Off, closed, not charging, nothing. And I was like, where it have been?

Under my bed where it stays. But you only heard the noise once you picked it up. No, no. Is it coming from the speakers? No, it's not coming from the speakers. Because it also sounds like back in the day when you were about to get a text message. Yeah, it does. But I just remember, I was like, oh my god, that's so weird.

And then I opened it up and like shut it down properly rather than just being like in sleep mode. And then I forgot about it. And then yesterday, because when I left my work laptop at home, I was like, I'll get my personal laptop to both do some prep for the show and watch a movie. And then I went, I put it on the bed and I went to the bathroom and Aaron was like,

house, house. And I came back in the room, he was like, what the hell is that noise? And I was like, what? And it was the And I came back in the room, he was like, what the hell is that noise? And I was like, what? And it was the laptop doing that. Doing the noise. So then I put it on Instagram being like, I don't feel like my laptop

should be making this noise. And if you put your fingers on the track pad, it was like vibrating underneath it. So it was like, it was coming from like under the track pad. Under the track pad. Oh, okay. And then when you closed it,

it still just kept making that noise. So I put it on Instagram and so many people were like, dude, your battery's about to explode. But I only read these messages this morning because my requests from people I don't follow, I don't read them and I went to bed early. Yep. And so after this, I was like, ugh, this laptop's driving me crazy.

So I put it under the bed. And now I've been reading all these messages. I've had like 30 messages of people being like, your battery might explode. So why? It's under the bed right now i've been reading all these messages i've had like 30 messages people being like your battery might explode you so why is it the noise is from the battery what swelling yeah apparently people say like the battery might be swelling pushing up against something under this thing jeez you must watch some real filthy porn yeah like what have i get pop-ups and stuff. I know. Like if your computer's that moist. Yeah, it's so moist that the battery's swelling. Yeah.

You've got a real problem. From the sticky trackpad. Yeah. I mean, maybe work a right to say, we're not allowed to touch our laptops, you know? I know, but what am I going to do? And then Aaron just said to me, he was like, we can't afford it. We can't afford for your laptop to explode right now.

And then he said... And burn the house down. Yeah, and he said, just use your work laptop. And I was like, oh, yeah, but I can't download some of the apps that I use. And he was like, well, you'll be fine for a little while. I was like, yeah, but it prohibits some of the websites you can go to. He was like, like what? And I was like, just like some websites.

Some websites I can't use, Aaron. What, I'm supposed to just go without? I'm just going to go without. It's so weird hearing a female on that side of the argument. I know, isn't it weird? Hey, we're all human. Yeah, we sure are. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today is fact of the day. Oh, yeah. It's the fact of the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. The opening to White Lotus. Oh. Oh, I haven't, but I've seen the memes about it.

I normally fast forward all the intros to TV shows. To shows. Not that one. But not White Lotus. Never do that for any Game of Thrones show because it changes all the time. I know. It's got stories. Ah, no, but White Lotus, you must watch. I'm loving the new season. Jennifer Coolidge

is a treasure. I'm saving it for a binge. She cried on last night's episode. On the latest episode she cried. It was so funny. The fact of the day is not about Jennifer Coolidge. It should be.

White Lotus. It's about Mountain Jennifer Coolidge Sorry sorry It should be Or White Lotus It's about Mountain Dew And since finding this fact I've Oh that face Do you not like it It's not for everybody It's very

It's very controversial A lemonade or a coke Yeah I don't think I've had Mountain Dew for years I know that's why I want one Do they do a sugar free Surely They all do

Producer Jarrod's saying no And he knows his sugary drinks. I wouldn't think that they did because that was the best part about Mountain Dew. He loves his fluoro drinks. Yeah. Okay.

Mountain Dew was originally invented as a mixer to go with whiskey. Oh. Tennessee whiskey. That makes sense in my head immediately. Yeah, Mountain Dew and whiskey.

When you think of the flavour palette. Yeah, with a bourbon. Oh! I'd try it. I'd try it. Should we try it this weekend? Let's try it this weekend. Okay.

Sure. Tennessee Whiskey Bottlers, Barney and Allie, they developed Mountain Dew as a mixer because soft drinks were sold regionally in the 1930s and they couldn't get them in Tennessee. Now, they wanted a soda that would mix well with the whiskey, so they developed their own. Now, the reason they called it Mountain Dew.

Oh, my God, sorry. I've just, Producer Jared has messaged, apologies, they do have a sugar-free version. Good. Of Mountain Dew. I apologise. They do, carry on. Received and accepted.

And it's called Mountain Dew because that was the nickname for whiskey. Right. Yeah. If you were making a Scotch whiskey in Tennessee, you called it the Dew of the Mountains. Mountain Dew was the nickname for their whiskey. So they named it after the nickname for whiskey in 1948. And then they needed a place to bottle it,

and apparently on a train had some samples, and they gave it to this guy and said, what do you think of this? And he was like, ooh, delicious. Yeah, right. And that was how it kind of kicked off and then that corporation got bought by Pepsi.

Was it always that colour? Yes. Really? How did they get it fluoro? Looks like it's nuclear. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

I just can't. I just can't do whiskey. You can't do a whiskey? Nah, I just can't. I'll do your share. I know. You drink enough for all of us in this room.

For all of us. Huzzah. Yeah. Although after White Lotus, they're Aperol's every episode. Aperol Spritzes. Mm-hmm. I saw someone in the Northern Hemisphere drinking Aperol Spritz. Sprites?

I think they're for the winter. You're out of season now. It's our Aperol. It's our Aperol. You've got to pass the baton. I think you die if you drink one in winter. In winter season now. It's our Aperol. Yeah, it's our Aperol. You've got to pass the baton. I think you die if you drink one in winter. In winter, yes. It's a summer beverage.

It's a summer of bad things to come. It's definitely a summer beverage. So, oh, hold on. The Urban Legend about Mountain Dew ingredients that the dye yellow 5, Tratazan, lowest sperm counts, has been disproven. Yeah, right. Okay, well, that's lovely. Yeah, it's Tratazan. That's what gives it that vibrant colour. Oh, yeah, because been disproven. Yeah, right. Okay, well, that's lovely. Yeah, it's tartisan.

That's what gives it that vibrant colour. Oh, yeah, because I love the colour. Mm. Okay. There you go. So today's fact of the day is Mountain Dew was originally made as a whiskey mixer and was named after the local nickname for whiskey. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Some people aren't happy with Air New Zealand's new plane that's arrived for the domestic network. Yes. All the domestic jet flights around the country.

It's a Neo. It's an A321 Neo. 37 rows, all economy, 217 seats. That's a lot. So normally when you fly, say you're flying like Auckland to Christchurch, there would be on a A321, what, how many, like 100 and something? I think this is like 50 more.

You're our plane guy. If you don't have the answer, I don't. This is like about 50 more seats. Wow. And so I don't know. So this will be used for the domestic? Just domestic, yeah. Okay.

And some of these planes, they normally fly to like the Goldie or, you know, the islands. Yeah. The A321 Neos because, yeah, they can squeeze more people in. A321 Neos. I was going to say, they're squeezing in more people, but the plane's probably the same size. So just take more and more leg room from you. They are longer planes than the normal domestic planes. But the problem that people have is that there are three toilets.

So there's one at the front. There's one about two thirds of the way back between the seats. You don't want to be sitting around that. Yuck. And then there's one at the back when normally there are two at the back. Yeah. That's not enough. So for about 200, what, for 217 people.

That's not enough. That's three toilets. But in saying that, like, just for an hour flight, an hour and a half, what, the longest flight? A lot of people don't go wheeze on an hour flight. Yeah, a lot of people don't go wheeze. Must be nice. I'll go wheeze.

Whereas you will go wheeze. I'll wheeze at least twice. At least twice. At least twice. Because you've got one kidney. One kidney, yeah. And because you've just polished off a bottle of Prosecco. And because I'm half cut, yeah.

Excuse me, can I get another Prosecco on board, please? Yeah. No, ma'am, you may not. I think we've all had enough. Oh, wow. So, I mean, normally, but I don't know why people are upset because normally they would have two toilets, right? But this has three.

But then there are slightly more people. Oh, I see what you mean. They've added a toilet, but they've added more people than toilet. But how many people per toilet should, what's the ratio? You'd have to get some maths going. No, I'm not good at maths. It's too early. I'm not good at maths.

It's too early. So I feel like, yeah, maybe it's a bit of a misleading article. It's a bit. It's like we have. I'm just trying to even think how many toilets there are on this aircraft that flies from Auckland to Christchurch. One in the front, one in the back. One in the front, one in the back.

Are there two at the back? Nah, there's one, eh? There's one. There's one. Sometimes there are two. What about those littler planes with the spinny propellers? There's one. The Lynx.

There's one. And you stand a wheeze and it's like you've got to kind of lean in. I don't think I've ever been to the toilet on one of those. Haven't you? Oh, I have. Nah, because, no. Have you? Yeah. Oh, yeah, because of your one kidney. Because of on one of those. Haven't you? Oh, I have. No, because, no. Have you? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, because of your one kidney. Because of my one kidney. But your knees, like my, I'm not particularly tall. Like I'm a tall woman, but I'm not, you know, you don't gasp as I walk past. I've had a spew on one of those before. Oh, have you? Oh, mate. You've had a spew.

You've spewed on a. But how did you lean back to get your head towards the toilet? No, well, because I couldn't fit between the bowl and the door. So I had to kind of like wide knee it so my knees could go either side, slunk right down and then like sit like this and go

bleh. It was really weird. That's a real sad day. But it was a real wake up call. But do you know what got me thinking about those times? This is like when you're flatting with people and there's six of you on the flat and there's one toilet. Yeah, we do you know what got me thinking about those times? This is like when you're flatting with people and there's six of you in the flat and there's one toilet. Yeah, we had one toilet and maybe we had at one point ten people

because there were five of us and there were five partners. What? One toilet and one shower. One toilet, one shower. And how did you? Was the shower a bathtub with a sticky shower curtain? Yeah, of course it was. The shower curtain had the world map on it, of course.

And there was mould because there was no extractor fan. The house was held together by mould. There was just like shampoo bottles everywhere around the bath and you didn't know if they were empty or not. Speaking of chunnies, I remember we'd had a big night out one night and me and Aaron were in my bedroom and I got up to go to the toilet and while I was on the toilet, my flatmate ran in, starkers, and had a little vomit in the sink

because there was nowhere else to go. We had one bathroom. But so how did you deal with one kidney and always needing to go to the toilet? How did you deal with 10 people in one bathroom? Well, we had quite a bushy backyard as well. Yeah. Thriving lemons.

Wow. Thriving tomatoes. killer veggie spot yeah I did what I had to do Fletch yeah is the answer to that long story short she did what needed to be done do you think do you think we could beat that like I'd love to know of those times when you're flatting or if you're living situation now, how many people per bathroom? Oh, yeah. Or like huge families of grandma and grandpa and grandkids. And did it cause big fights with the flatties?

Yeah. Or at a festival, you know, when there's like they haven't got enough. I will say Friday Jam's life, plenty of toilets. Plenty of loos. Plenty of toilets. Although I did see some ladies loos are using the loos, the men's loos. Didn't you come in? You got told off. I did.

I just had a flashback. Oh, yeah. For the ladies using the mens. Yeah, same. Those ones up top, eh? Yeah, I used the mens toilets because there was a huge queue. Yeah, no, screw the queues. I feel like festivals need to have more urinals.

Because guys can mostly just use a urinal and that frees up all the portaloos for the ladies. What a feminist. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. And we might see some more wangs. Am I right, boys?

Yeah, get a few schlongs out. Yeah. It's a festival. In the queue for the tour to give the ladies a show, let's see some wangs. Yeah. All right, so 0800 dials at M9696. How bad was the

bathroom situation in your flat? How many people were sharing one bathroom? Yeah, the fights you had as well. And how bad were the fights? Was there a shower hog? Because that's the thing, you've got 10 people using one bathroom. Someone's in there for 40

minutes. I've been in a party with my best... No, I won't say it. Don't worry. Carry on. She'll get so mad. Is this the same one that's... Yeah. I think she's been dragged through that.

I think her name's been dragged through them enough. Nah, she's got enough on her. We're talking about when you've had to share a bathroom with a lot of people. This comes off the back of a new plane with three toilets on it. And apparently that's not enough toilets because there's more seats or something. Yeah. I don't know. Someone messaged in, of a new plane with three toilets on it and apparently that's not enough toilets because there's more seats or something. Yeah, I don't know. Someone messaged in,

as an AV geek. Is that the name of aviation? Very good. That's a good character actually. Add that to the book. I thought it stood for audio visual. As an AV geek, hearing any plane chat on your guy's show makes me cringe.

What? Makes them cringe. I know we must have got some crucial aerodynamic statistics wrong. Flaps down. Is that a thing too? Yeah. Probably when the annoying one that does all the character work. This is quite meta because I'm referring to myself and my character work while doing character work.

The annoying one who does the character work referred to propellers as spinny things. That's right. You did refer to propellers as spinny things. We all know our role on the show. They spin and they do things. Fletch is the plane guy. You're the character dude. I'm the fanny girl.

Any, any, anything. Fanny related. It's got us on Talking about sharing bathrooms In the flat Yes And how many people Did you have to share the bathroom with

And what dramas did it cause Or like a massive house party Like a hundred guests in one toilet Yeah We used to have that at a flat When we had parties And the rule was If you

Were one of the people That lived at the flat When you went to the toilet You had to leave the door open And pull your pants Right down around your ankles. Oh, just as a gag. Hamilton.

Hamilton. And, Nake, good morning. Hi. How many people did you share the bathroom with? So we weren't a lot. We were only three. Right. But the boys I used to share the bathroom with

didn't know how to turn off the lights. And I got quite frustrated one day after a really bad day at work. So I used to share the bathroom with didn't know how to turn off the light. And I got quite frustrated one day after a really bad day at work. So I used to unscrew the light bulbs because if they didn't know how to turn it off, they didn't need it. You petty wee thing. I love it. Why is Monique being such a bitch?

So then every morning at 3am, I'd screw them back in, have my shower, and screw them straight back out. You know that you've just created more problems for yourself. I know where, but afterwards, they've learnt how to turn off the lights.

And did that keep the power bill down though? Yeah, all of what? Two cents for the entire year? When you're the only one paying the power bill, it helps. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah, fair call. Who are these guys that are living in your house rent free? Are they your children?

Siblings. They're siblings. Oh, yeah, okay. Who are these guys that are living in your house rent-free? Are they your children? Siblings. They're siblings. Oh, my God. Yeah, okay, that'll teach them. Okay, I can understand the pettiness, because petty rules don't apply when you're doing something to your siblings. No, 100%. Thank you so much for your call, Monique.

Freya, how many people did you flat with? So five of us total. There were two girls and three boys. Oh, okay. Okay. And how many bathrooms? Just the one. And my flatmate had a penchant for taking baths on a Friday and Saturday night.

A bath? When we were trying to get ready for town. Oh, wow. You're living two different types of lifestyle here. Yes, you are. Absolutely, absolutely. He was like an old man and the rest of us wanted to get drunk. So how long would he bathe for?

About an hour. Well, if you're going to run that bath, you've got to be in it for a while to make use of that water. Also, I don't think you should be running a bath in a flat. That's a lot of hot water. A lot of hot water. Not unless you're going to share the water. Yeah.

You know when you're in your family and your mum might have a bath and she's like, it's still hot. Oh, gosh. And you jump in. We just did that. Yeah, that's yuck. My mum always used to do that to me. Yeah.

I was down the bath water. You know, like looking back, I liked going last because it was milky by the end and it looked like you were having a bath in milk. No, your brother and sister weaned in there too. Yes, they did. Oh, 100%. Oh, yuck, yeah. Everybody weaned in that bath.

Freya, thanks. You called some messages in. Just had this vivid flashback to wean in a bath. Yeah, same. And feeling like, I'm going to wean the bath and have a little naughty wean the bath. Yeah, but put the end of your doodle just above the water and it looked like a fountain.

Oh, boy. But I was talking like when I was a little kid. I would have been a nightmare if I had a doodle growing up. I would have. I would have been like, what can I do with this?

I'll give you a short list of places it shouldn't go and things it shouldn't do. We're only three people, but one girl does her makeup every single morning at 7am and no one else can use it. I'd buy her a mirror with lights around the outside so she could do it in her room

because she can't dominate that real estate at that time every single morning. On gap year, we lived on site. There were 14 girls to a room in two rooms. So 28 girls. No, no, no. One bathroom. Oh, no.

They did say on the plus side, I didn't pay for body wash, shampoo and conditioner all year because there were so many bottles to choose from. I just used these. Oh, yeah, a little bit from each, yeah. Spread it around, spread it around. We had eight people and one bathroom. Always someone to chat to while you were taking a poo.

We used to hop in, hop out while the shower was still running. Makes it a bit awkward seeing flatmates naked. Wait, so someone would be in the shower, curtain closed, and you'd pop in for a wheeze or a poose? Yeah, no, and then they would hop out, they'd just leave the shower and I'll jump straight in and they'd whoop. Hippies, bloody hippies. It's of the shower and I'll jump straight in and they'd... Like bees?

Bloody hippies? It's like the shower was chain-smoking people. Yes. Finishing one stat in another. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, it's back, baby. For season five, I think it's its final season,

the TV show I'm referring to is Yellowstone. I haven't watched a single episode. I was so late to it. As I started watching it, season four was just finishing. Now, would I like this show? I think so. I think so. What's it about?

Well, so the Dutton family were the original settlers in this valley in Montana. Oh, okay. Because you know I've been watching that big sky. Northern North America. That's Montana. That's Montana. Great part of the world. Yeah. Oh, okay. Because you know I've been watching that big sky. Northern North America. That's Montana. Great part of the world. Yeah. Oh, it looks beautiful.

Even though I think they shot this in Utah. But they do like some of the wider shots and stuff in Montana. But yeah, it's a story. 1883 was the prequel. When they first arrived doing the Oregon Trail. Yep. And they decided to settle there. And then there's another one coming out called 1923,

and it's about the farm between the wars. Yep. There's this massive, massive ranch. And, yeah, now this one's set in modern times. But what happens on this ranch? Oh, drama. Drama. Accidents, bears, wolves.

Oh, okay. Native American tribes. Okay. Hot people, horses, rodeos, which I know American tribes. Okay. Hot people. Horses. Rodeos, which I know not everybody's about. Yeah. Because I was going to say, what's in it for me?

Not a comedy, so I'm already like. Are there hot guys? Hot guys? Big boys. There's something for everybody. There's big boys. Is there? Rip might be a bit of you.

He's this big, tough dude, but he's had a troubled past. Okay. He's like the enforcer. Okay. But then everybody loves a bit of Casey. Casey's the youngest son in the Dutton family, and he's a real sexy man. Sexy, sexy, sexy boy.

The first episode of the new season premiered to a record audience. Yeah, it was a double episode. Yeah, huge, apparently. Yeah, I just really like it. It's a long-running story. Kevin Costner's the main actor in it. Right. He's like John Dutton. I like Kevin Costner. He's the dad. He's trying to keep it all together. But I usually like Kevin Costner in a

sports film. Oh, like an inspirational coach type. Yeah, like some kind of baseball. Right. Some kind of rugby, some kind of football. Well, think of the ranch as his team and he's trying to keep it together. Okay. And he'll do what it takes. I really like it. But you're into it. So you're hanging out with us.

It's made me want to go to that part of America very hard. But the problem, here it is. I watched the first two episodes yesterday. I'm going to need to start wearing a cowboy hat to work. He's not knowing that you do. No, you're not. I don't think you do. I need to start wearing a cowboy hat.

I need to start wearing some Wrangler original fit jeans. Do you remember you did have those boot flare jeans? Yeah, that's hot. From Glassons. That was back in 2004. Yeah, a few years back. Cowboy boots, I think I'd pull off. I usually wear a Timberland, more of an urban construction boot.

No, you don't need to branch into the Yellowstone fashion. What about it? Yeah, the problem is it's quite cold up there because it's northern North America. Yeah, right. Like border with Canada sort of climate. I get why it's hot, like why that kind of fashion's hot. Like I remember when I first met Aaron, he had played a cowboy on a TV show.

And I remember I Googled him and there was a photo of him in flared jeans like flared denim jeans a denim shirt a cowboy hat and a big buckle belt and I was like yeah yeah yeah

that's the look and you tuck it in I'm gonna marry that man yeah yeah and you tucked in the shirt you tuck it in the shirt and you have the jeans

are a little bit higher yeah right and then the big belt buckle and then the hat and a set of boots why don't you just go live in South Canterbury? That's how they all dress.

South Canterbury is our Montana, is it? He is a city boy. It's our Montana. Right. I'm just trying to find this photo of Aris. Yeah, show me that.

I want to see this photo. It might change my... Yeah, I just don't think you in an urban environment dressing like a cowboy. It's just... I think people would laugh. No, I can see it.

I can see it. Don't encourage him. I think you could do it. Don't encourage him. He's a cowboy. It's just, I think people would laugh. No, I can see it. I can see it. Don't encourage him. I think you could do it. Don't encourage him. But the problem is, you can't wear headphones with a cowboy hat, you see. Well, I could get some of those in-ear ones, but I don't like them.

What have you thought about country music radio stations? Yeah, well, how do they wear their headphones? Radio hosts. I'll just Google some. Do we have a country music station? No, not. Oh. Do a country or two?

I've Googled and all the radio announcers are wearing just normal, either just not wearing a hat. I've got my headphones upside down right now, but I have to hold them sort of the whole time. You look so stupid. I look stupid because I'm not wearing a cowboy hat I think if you were

wearing a cowboy hat it would look just as stupid yeah oh yeah I've just found Rip's fashion Rip's kind of like

the bad boy he's got a big beard yeah right he was in Dazed and Confused remember that movie Dazed and Confused yeah

he was in that he was just a little fellow at the time it's a great show and I'm gonna oh I going to need one of those. A poncho. Is that a poncho cape? I don't think you need a poncho.

You don't know. Does it have Native American design on it? Yeah, don't. That's a no then. That's a no, Vaughn. It's just a pattern. We're trying to help you here. Play ZM's Fletch for the

Nelly. Play ZM. Pete Davidson has the power. He's done it again. So he was dating Kim Kardashian obviously, and they split this year. Before that, he was dating the chick from Bridgerton.

Yeah, he was seeing her. Before that, obviously, he was engaged to Ariana Grande. Before that, he was with Kate Beckinsale. Yeah, Kate Beckinsale. Dale or Sale? Kate Beckinsale.

Is it Sale? Beckinsale. Trust me. Trust me on this one. Why are you doing that with your mouth? Trust. Look at me. Trust me, Vaughn knows. Trust me on this one. Why are you doing that with your mouth? Trust. Trust. Look at me. Look at me.

Look at me. Trust me. Trust me. Okay, wow. So one thing in common. Someone wants to go home and get in trouble again? You. You. You.

You want to be in trouble. What did I do? You were. No, he was describing the girl at his gym as a Vaughn 10. Yeah, we all know what that looks like. We all know what a Vaughn 10 looks like. And then Sade thought it meant that she was in my top 10. There was a confusion about the 10s.

Oh, right. No, no, no. 10 out of 10. Who are the other nine? I was like, no, you've confused the 10. The 10 is a ranking system. But people, I don't rank people. Fletch ranks people on my behalf.

He believes he knows the criteria. Oh, and I do. Oh, my God, but it's not hard, is it? Well, anyway, obviously there's Kate Beckinsale. I'm a bloody where's spot book. I'm an easy read. You are. I'm an easy read.

You love an ethnically ambiguous brunette. I do. With a tiny waist and a big old dumper. Find it. It is. Find it. It is. Find it. Sue me. Oh, nothing wrong with it.

Anyway, this is why. White girls aren't for me. Now, I don't know about. Did you just hear all the white girls? They're upset. I know. I can hear them through the radio. I'm sorry, white girls.

If you look exciting, maybe. Yeah, look a little like kiss or something. Something. Something. Or maybe if you just go. Okay, just stop. If you tan well. Now, much like someone I know might be in the ten,

part of the other nine, other than Sade. And I don't know why you mentioned her in passing, Emily Ratajkowski. I've never heard of her. So Pete Davidson is, they've been seen out on dates. This is wild. This is where we draw the line. We haven't had a gentleman with this array of high profile,

very attractive female partners. This feels like something from the like 40s. This feels like Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra, I was going to say, yeah. Someone like Elvis. Don Juan. Yeah. So he has reportedly been

hanging out with Emily Ratajkowski for the last couple of months. They were set up on a date by some mutual friends. Because her husband, who was doing very well for himself, because he was nothing much to look at. Cheated on her. Cheated on her.

What? Yeah, he cheated on her. That's right, we did talk about that. The audacity. The sheer audacity. Just in the audacity of this man. You can be the, some people have said the hottest person on earth. And your partner can still cheat on you.

So they're in the very early stages. Both really like each other. Pete makes Emily laugh. That's what he's got. He gets them laughing. It's the laughter and... The rumour. The rumour.

He loves how intelligent she is. Someone had recently come forth with an actual measurement. Oh, okay. No. Ariana Grande said something. She let something slip about the rumour. Right.

Not being... It made the world take a gasp. Right. Anyway, so... Pete Davidson told former SNL co-star Jay Pharoah

that he dated a lot of famous women because he's well endowed. Now... No, don't read anymore. Don't read anymore. that he dated a lot of famous women because he's well endowed. No. No, don't read any more. Don't read any more. People can Google that on their own time.

My uterus just hurt. Oh, far out. But look at him. I mean, good for him. No, because that's what... It's quite underhanded, isn't it? Like, basically the whole world is saying, okay, how's he doing this? Because he's a sort of a goofy fella who, until recently... Why?

I just seen the measurement. Carwin said what? Wait, hang on, hang on. Carwin said what? And Gator Letters and Fletch was like, eh. Wait, I don't hear that. I don't hear that. Wait, we're going to own Pete Davidson over here?

I sent the... Have you got your roller? Hang on. It's in the chat. And his and his. Holy shit. Oh, ouch. Ouch.

Holy. What? How has he got enough blood in his brain to be funny? That's why he's so goofy, because it's all there. Don't put that on your face. Oh, my goodness gracious. It comes down to your knee, boy. It does. Wow. I think we knee, Vaughan. It does.

Wow. I think we've worked out why that's happening there. You just couldn't wear shorts. Oh. Oh, my Lord. Oh, well. Good on him, eh? I mean, good for him.

Good for him. Good for him. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I've got a very handy neighbour. I've got a neighbour that can fix anything God that's so good Fix anything Anything's not working

His latest project Somebody saw a digger Now this digger's been sitting somewhere for seven years It stopped working one day And someone just walked away from it Yeah Little digger Somebody purchased it

And he's bloody got it working again Got it all fixed up I said if you're looking to warm up that digger with a little challenge to see if it's all running right, I've got a trench that needs digging. It's a great way of tricking someone into helping you get a free digger. Here's something I can do for

you. Do you need to practice that and make sure that digger's running right? I've got a long deep power trench that needs digging. Now, I don't know if you guys know this. Power cables need to be buried 600 mils below the ground. 600 mils? Yeah, they're supposed to be. That's a Pete Davidson, I believe.

It's one Pete Davidson below the ground. Actually, it's two Pete Davidsons. How many Pete Davidsons is that? That's actually how I do my measuring. Pete comes over, I'm like, how many times did your penis fill up that hole? How tall are you? I'm six Pete Davidsons. So it needs to be 600 mils below the surface.

Oh, yeah, that's a couple of, that's what, three Pete Davidsons? That's two, two and a half. Two and a half. There's our Pete Davidson. There's two Pete Davidsons. It's two and a half Pete Davidsons. Oh, it's got nearly three Pete Davidsons. Okay.

Yeah, well, that's three Pete Davidsons. Okay. I mean, you'd probably go three Pete Davidsons to be safe. I'd go three Pete Davidsons to be safe. Can you go to Mitre 10 and order some wood and say, oh, how long you need, mate? Oh, of course. 18 lengths of Pete Davidson. When I eventually sell my house, I'm going to list it for how many Pete Davidson squared.

He's packing. So why are you digging, why are you and your friend digging a hole? Saving a bit of this. Well, there's, okay. Saving a bit of this. Well, there's, okay. Saving a bit of this. Someone's garage blew the budget. So he's got to do a little bit himself

to try to save a little bit of money. So what was this? Digging a hole. Was it this or dig it yourself? God damn it, I'm glad I didn't dig it myself. It would have taken you a long time. A shovel? Yeah.

Well, it turns out that somebody cut down some trees. It was me. You famously hate trees. It was me that somebody cut down some trees. It was me. You famously hate trees. It was me. I cut down some trees. But I forgot that trees have roots. Yeah. Some of them quite a lot.

Quite a lot. And some of these were big trees. So big trees, big roots. How many Pete Davidsons were the roots? I tell you what, there was a couple of big Petey's in there was a couple of big... A couple of big peedies in there. Right, okay. Jeez Louise. And another mystery we've always had in our house is

whereabouts underground are the water mains? Oh, yeah. Did you find that out yesterday? Oh, boy, did we what? So we were digging, we were doing a great job. We avoided the gutter. What's that called? Downspout where it goes underground and up into the water tank.

Yeah. Avoided that. Yeah, right. Found that. Dug around it. Yeah. Found another. Found that. Dug around it. Yeah. Found another one of those. Dug around it.

And then I said, the water mains are somewhere around here. So we were being very careful. But then we came across a big Pete Davidson root. This thing was a chainsaw situation. Right. But anyway, tapping at it with the digger bucket. And then all of a sudden behind me, it's bloody like we've struck oil. I'm like, now the digger's in front of me, but the squirting's behind me.

Oh, no. And I'm like, well, mathematically, that doesn't make any sense. Now, I'm no plumber. I'm no plumber, but if we're digging over here, why is there water squirting up over here? Turns out we'd hit the pipe. The pipe was in the roots. Oh, yeah.

So these, this water main must have been laid moons ago and then the tree planted and it all got entangled. Yeah, right. Terrible idea. Yeah. These trees. Chomp them all down. Get rid of the lava.

We wouldn't have any. They're menaces. And then we can just put pipes wherever we want. Yeah. So digging in the root and it actually just got wrapped around the pipe and pulled it. So that was the join that broke back there that's squirting water behind me. Oh, right. So I in the root and it actually just got wrapped around the pipe and pulled it. So that was the join that broke back there that's squirting water behind me.

So I'm like, whoops. And we're like, whoops. Double whoops. We better stop digging there and go and dig over there. So I flicked the pump off. The squirting stops. That's a tick in my book. We knew where the water's coming from. Then

we dug and ferreted it out. I reconnected it because Sade came out and she said, the water's not working. Oh, okay. I can see what's happening here. Water everywhere. Panicky men. Was she like, at this stage,

you really should have got a professional in to do this? At this stage, she said, why did you choose to do this at five o'clock in the afternoon? Oh, that's a great call from her. A very good question and excellent clue. The fun is trying to guess when you play guess why has Morn started this task so late in the afternoon. Oh, that's a great call from her. A very good question and excellent clue. The fun is trying to guess when you play guess why has Morn started this task so late in the afternoon. And my grandad had a saying,

and I could almost hear him saying it, you don't do these sorts of things when the shops are shut. Oh, yeah. Wow. That's a good saying. Because if something breaks and you need to buy it to fix it, you can't. You can't.

Don't do this when the shops are shut. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Don't fiddle with water on the weekends was his other one because shops would open at the weekends back then. But I got mine at 10 now.

It's just down the road. It's open all the bloody time. So anyway, got that fixed. Then carefully dug, chainsawed the root out, got that in. It was all reconnected.

And then we hit it again and it popped again. Oh my God. How many times did you hit this thing? Okay, so in total, five pipes were broken. But the same pipe got broken four times.

But on the fourth time, it ripped the grasp off the join. So it needed a new join. Right. But we're all good now. Apart from one pipe from the bore to the tank, that got pierced. I need to get another join on the way home today. But other than that. You sound relatively calm because we've done the same thing before and all I heard was like money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.

It's just Alcathene pipe. I've got some backup Alcathene pipe. If it had been like town water mains, like when I put it up, somebody's like, boy, that happened to me except it hit a 65 millimetre. So that's three Pete Davidson's. That's big. Three Pete Davidson wide water main that was pressurised on mains and they said it literally made the road float up.

Oh my gosh. Because it burst underneath and it just went... Oh my gosh. And the whole road went up. And you mean to ring a number before you just go digging? Before you dig. And then it's power of phones. 1, 2, 4 before you dig.

That's power of... This is rural property. It's a bloody no man's land out there. You do what you want. Who put what where when? And there's always been this mystery pipe. This weird pipe that's just been an open end. I don't know where the other end is.

And I said, let's pull it out. So we tied it around the digger and backed up. Boy, it was long. I'd love to know where it went. Oh, that would have been like a blackhead. It's like pulling out a long ingrown hair. You just keep coming. But anyway, no harm, no foul.

And I tell you what, he's done a great job fixing that digger because it worked. Oh, lucky for him. Lucky for him he had me to test it on. I've got some pipes he can dig up. I'm sure he'd love to test it. Well, he needs to test if the trailer works. Oh, he had a great idea. He's put on a trailer.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I want to talk about the best lies you told your parents when you were a kid. If you got away with it, I think now's a great opportunity to come clean. Oh, yeah. Do you know when you crash your parents' car and you say, oh, no, it just got sideswiped on the street. I don't even know how that happened. I don't know what happened.

I just came back to the car, which I'd parked perfectly in. Yeah, it was like that. Just destroyed. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Just came back to the car, which I'd parked perfectly in. Yeah. It was like that. Just destroyed. Yeah, I tried that on my parents. I said some German backpacks must have backed into us. Why the Germans? It was the 90s. I feel like World War II was only 40 years before.

You know, there was a little bit of a, you know. The wall had only just come down. Yeah. They were still running their own currency. You could have said French after the Rainbow Warrior. I could have said French. But they were always hitchhiking back in the day. The Germans would come and they would get a van.

Yeah, okay. It must have been the Germans, but it wasn't. It was me and I was being silly. But Dad saw right through that and he kept saying, this is your last opportunity to tell me the truth. And he kept saying it. Oh, hey there. And I kept lying to him.

That's the worst. And he knew. He knew. And he knew. But he also didn't have any proof. If he's still saying that, he had no proof. No one had proof.

It was a proofless, it was a real few good men scenario. He was just trying to like really get me to say, you are the truth. You can't handle the truth. I drove down a gravel road too fast and I crashed into the back of a ute.

But the ute sustained no damage because it crashed into the steel frame of its tray. That's what he wanted me to say. That makes me want to be sick when you think about lying to your parents. And even now, I'm only saying this with such vigor is because my parents aren't in the country.

If I knew there was a possibility they may be listening, I might be a little bit like, you've never admitted this. Oh, no, no, no, no. He got the truth out of me. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But I think that was the biggest lie I ever tried to get away with. Yeah. I don't know about my lies. I mean, I never really lied about where I was. I sort of got caught out. I fibbed. I just tell fibs. Yeah, right.

Lots of dumb, pointless lies. What happened at school today? Oh, we cut down a tree just kind of see if they were even listening a middle child yeah you're such a man i did such a big jump on my skateboard today did you want yep show us how it worked i can't i can't it was a bit scared me yeah yeah yeah that's sort of it was off the top off the top of the classroom. And the teachers told me off. And they said they'd never want to talk about it ever again. So I wouldn't bother asking them. That's sort of funny.

I used to lie to my parents because I used to steal quite a lot. Right. When I was a kid. Yeah. And I'd have these little toys and stuff. They'd be like, how'd you get that? How'd you get that? And you know the way that they ask, they know that I've nicked it from someone.

And then as a kid, you think you're a good liar, but you're terrible. Oh, children are terrible, terrible liars. The reason I do it is this kid is actually a really good liar. He's super smart. He's a Russian kid. He's super smart and his parents aren't. And he's convinced his parents that he's from Mars.

Oh my God. Sorry. And they buy into it. Where are you getting this news from? Ah, the internet. I'm not saying it's news and there's a high chance it's completely made up but it made me laugh

and it gave us a starting point for one of these things we do now where we say, what was the best lie you ever told your parents? You call us on 0800-DOLLS and then we'll text it into 9696. So wait, he's told his parents he's from Mars but the mother would have birthed her, the son.

He was reborn to a human mother on Earth that was part of a super advanced species. Oh my God. Plans to infiltrate. He's convinced her of this. Do you believe in vaccines still? Me? Yeah.

Oh yeah, very much so. Okay, good. Because, you know, I'm worried about you if you're going down these internet. These sort of alien. It's just a stupid story. These alien pathways. Oh my God, there's aliens.

I'm just thinking it's more funny that he's somehow convinced his parents that it's a possibility. I think there are aliens. When they've been there his whole life. Yeah. That's good stuff. So we want to know the best lies that you. Yeah. The best lie you told your parents. And to this day, have you got away with it?

Like, did you lie about crashing the car? About how some damage happened? Did anybody get pregnant as a teenager and claimed it must have been a spa pool or something? I must have sat down, when I was at the swimming pool, I would have sat down on a bench. Yeah, and...

And someone had obviously taken liberties with that bench. And it would have just got caught in there. I don't think any parents believe in that. There are some insane stories coming in, and I love them all. We're talking about the lies you told your parents, the craziest lies, the dumbest lies looking back. They either just let you away with it.

They certainly didn't believe these lies. No, or maybe to this day you have got away with it with a crazy lie. Yeah. Someone said, first ever hangover, my parents thought I had sunstroke. I was hardly going to correct them, given I was underage and smelt like I fell into every tank in the building.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's sunstroke. It's really bloody. What, at like 7 a.m.? From the day before. The day before, right. The day before. I accidentally set the school hedge on fire.

Oh, okay. That's another one. I reported it to the school saying, I found the hedge was on fire and I've managed to put it out. I got an award in assembly thanking me for being a responsible student and my parents came along and everyone was very proud of me even though I started the fire that I then put out. Oh, my God. Wow, you couldn't back out.

The guilt. And now they're a volunteer firefighter. Really? There was a spate of very naughty volunteer firefighters. And there was a spate, yeah, and then they'd go and play with themselves at the fires, wouldn't they? No, that was a different. Oh, right.

But they do, though, don't they? They always go and look. They're arsonists. They do, yes. They return to the scene of the crime. Often in the harakeke flax bushes, which provide a thick cover. Some phone calls from big fat liars.

Greg. Good morning, Greg. Hey, how you going, Tim? Good. What was the lie you got away with? So, classic teenager studying for exams story. My parents went off to a rugby game, but

in a stroke of teenage brilliance, my friend decided that we should go off to a rugby game, but in a stroke of teenage brilliance, my friend decided that we should go to the same rugby game. We figured the stadium was big enough that we wouldn't come into contact with my parents and I could come up with a backstory when I got back. Problem was, on the drive home, we're sitting on the motorway

and then I'm literally sitting in my stepfather's eyeline as he's driving in the lane next to us so I freak out and we're trying to get in front of in front of my parents jostling for position and it's just super difficult and we eventually get about 50 to 100 meters in front of them I jump out of a moving car as we get into our street which was a cul-de-sac and I just legged it down the driveway to get back to my desk as the garage door went up.

Big Ferris Bueller energy there. Big Ferris Bueller energy. Good for you. Yeah, and Mum only found out about it on my 21st birthday, so we got away with it. All the stories come out. Amazing. Craig, thanks for your call.

Somebody messaged in saying I got strep throat in Fiji, most likely from a summer fling with an Irish boy, but I told my mum it was probably from the Scody Resort snorkels. Yeah, gross. Those things are gross. They are gross. That's why they were soaked in that death hole stuff. Yeah, take your own, though.

Yeah. Yeah. My sister came home from a high school party with hickeys all over her neck and told my parents I'd been playing paintball. No one's believing that. Did I tell you about my girls the other day when we saw someone walking with a hickey? Oh, no. A teenage girl with a hickey.

And they were like, oh, my God, what's happening to that girl's neck? I was like, oh, it's a hickey. And they were like, what's that? So I explained it to them. And I said to the both of them, if you can make it to your 21st birthday without a hickey, I'll give you $1,000. Yes. Oh, my God.

You're that dead. I collected them like stamps as a teenager. $1,000. $1,000 each. That's a good incentive. But if one of them gets a hickey, they miss out on the $1,000, but the other one can still get $1,000. The amount of summers

I spent wearing a scarf, I tell you what. It's 30 degrees outside, haven't you? Oh, it's so obvious. Simon, would you have made it

to your 21st without a hickey? Uh, yeah. Oh, okay. You've never had a hickey, Simon?

No, no, no, I have, sorry, did you say make it before 21? No, no, no. I have, sorry, they make it before 21. Oh, no, no. You've got to make it,

I'm not giving you $1,000 unless you make it to your 21st, zero herkies. Don't you let a boy put those on you. Simon loves a herky. No, no, no, no.

So what did you, what line did you get away with with your parents, Simon? So, yeah, went out to a party one night with the mates, you know, not supposed to be drinking or smoking, and came home in the middle of the night about 12.30 in the morning,

and the house was all locked up. They had to open up. They were often knocking on the door. And he looked at me all pretty strange, and I was, you know, trying to stand up straight. And he said to me, oh, did you have any smokes tonight or, you know, drinks? I was like, nah, nah.

And he let me in and I went through to the bedroom. And as I took off my shirt, I nipped Siggy from behind my ear. Oh, for God's sake. You didn't get away. Looking at that and, yeah, that fell off on the floor. And I was like, okay, no wonder I was getting that look. Yeah, you didn't get away. You weren't getting away with anything the moment he opened the door, I think.

Simon, thanks for your call. A drunk person has never convinced a sober person that they're not drunk. No, never. Some more messages in. When I was a child, I called an ambulance just to see what would happen when it turned up. Oh, naughty. I lied. I lied.

I lied and said, it definitely wasn't me. I was literally the only person it possibly could have been. But I was like, nope, not me. I will not say the words I've done that. I did this. This is literally a recording of you asking for the ambulance. Yes. We had some responses on Instagram. Laura, party girl

Laura. I said a cat bit my neck and it definitely wasn't a hickey from some random guy at a bar. Yeah, probably because she wanted $1,000 from her dad because he made a bet. Yeah. Yeah.

No bet. No, if a cat bites your neck, you lose your $1,000 as well. No bites from nobody, no species on no neck. Someone said, I told my dad that my friend gave me a mini poodle

as no one wanted them. I actually bought him. Oh my God. For $800 when I owe dad more than $ them. I actually bought him. Oh my God. For $800 when I owe dad more than $800. He still believes this lie eight years on. Wow. Not anymore he doesn't. I told them I went to a friend's house

for New Year's. I went to Taupo with some guys at the age of 16. You're not getting your $1,000. Oh Lord. Oh I can't wait until your girls are like teenagers. It is a nightmare. The things I did. The things, I can't wait until your girls are like teenagers. Oh, my God, it is a nightmare. The things I did. The things.

I don't want to hear about them. Somebody said my partner of 10 years is my roommate. Current ongoing lie I'm telling my parents. Oh, wow. That's sad, though. Yeah, why are they? They might have like really conservative parents. Could be religious or same sex maybe. All right, yeah. If you put religion before your children's happiness, you've might have like really conservative parents. Could be religious or same sex maybe.

All right, yeah. If you put religion before your children's happiness, you've got a problem in your head. Nicole said, my lie is that my hangover was from being sick from eating fish and chips for dinner the night before and the fish must have been. No one believes that, let alone your parents.

This is beautiful. I found a painting. It was an organic rubbish collection and it was out on the side of the road. I found this painting while walking home from school when I was 10. It was a horrendous painting, but painted. Like it wasn't a print. It was actually painted.

And it happened to have my initials in the bottom right-hand corner, so I took it home and gave it to Mum for her birthday, and I said, I painted you this. From the dump. To this day, she thinks it was from me. No. Now, this is the story that it turns out in 10 years that that's like some lost van gogh or something, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Met's like, it's worth millions. Yeah, MoMA's like, we'll have it for millions. And Mum's like, I can't sell it. My boy painted it for me. Mum, I did it, I did it. Mum, no, no. Mum, sell it, sell it, Mum.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Salad, salad, salad, mom I love a spoon I love a cuddle A bum to groin Cuddle Yeah With the arm under And the other arm Wrapped around a buzz Yeah

There's nowhere else for it to go You know what I mean? It's like the perfect position For a cuddle Well, for the little spoon, yes, but the big spoon, you always lose the arm circulation. Yeah, did you see that someone once created one of those inventions, a mattress that had a slot for the arm.

Yeah. So you could go in under and slot under. Yeah, but when you weren't using it, it just kind of stayed pretty much closed, like couch cushions, but your head was never heavy enough to like fall in the gap. Yeah. Isn't that a great idea? We're big spooners, me and Aaron. Well, he's the big spoon.

I'm the little spoon. But we love to spoon. Yeah. Do you ever switch it up? Sometimes. Get him behind that big boy? I don't often get him behind the big boy. Get him behind the big boy.

Nah. You're the little spoon. I'm little spoon. Through and through. We had spoons last night, in the middle of the night, and this morning. Really? You had a spoon in the morning? We've got the big pillow now and it's a bloody Berlin wall.

How great is the body pillow, eh? I fall asleep with the body pillow on top of me, cuddling it like that. It's weird that you do that. I koala it like it's a tree and I'm a koala. So your wife now is just left alone. Shivering. Yeah, right. Shivering on the side of the bed. She's East Germany. I'm West Germany. I'm the flourishing. So your wife now is just left alone. Shivering. Yeah, right. Shivering on the side of the bed.

She's East Germany. I'm West Germany. I'm the flourishing. You're the good Germany. Post-war capitalist Germany. Well, we all know that physical touch, well, I know this in particular, physical touch gives you a big boast of serotonin.

Yeah. The happy hormone. The make you feel good hormone. Well, apparently, I don't know what initiated this research, but apparently having a spoon, one teaspoon of peanut butter could give us the same

dose, the same hit of serotonin as spooning in bed for 30 seconds. Have you got a friend that'll get a teaspoon of peanut butter and then just like slowly lick it? Do I have a friend? That's me. In the mirror, bro. Do you get a spoonful

of peanut butter and just slowly lick it? I can't do anything slow. I'll just be like Oh no, yeah, yeah. I'll just like gob it basically. But you know,

there's people that will just do it real I'm just doing it for the flavour. Oh my God, no, no, no. Just gob it. Yum, yum, yum. So apparently,

I didn't know this, I mean peanut butter's got lots of healthy fats and all sorts of good things for you. But peanut butter also has tryptophan, an amino acid responsible for producing serotonin in the body, meaning just a small portion could provide an instant mood lift. Okay. So if you're feeling a bit meh,

just have a teaspoon. Have a spoon of peanut butter or a spoon of a person. Spoon of peanut butter. Yep. Put it in the Milo container. Yum. Yum. That's good.

That's good from you. I invented this very recently. I'm talking, this is a 2022 invention for me. Right. And I did it. And I was like, My children must never learn No No yeah

That sounds so good Because they'll be like What do you reckon it would be like In quick In a container of quick It'd be good Nest quick It'd be good

I was thinking about other things You could dip peanut butter in You know what I want to try next What Jelly crystals No don't eat jelly crystals Raspberry Raro

Raspberry Jelly crystals Yeah Because it's just your peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly.

Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. So if you are a single and you are looking for a little hit and you can't find someone to spoon for 30 seconds, one teaspoon of peanut butter will give you the same hit of serotonin. Would you recommend that at 2 a.m.? Absolutely. If you roll over and just need a little spoon?

Absolutely. Healthy snack. Do you know what I'm going to do today to really get me going? Hop in bed, get into position, and eat a spoon of peanut butter. Wow. You might get too excited. I might get a little excited. A spooning question. Do you shuffle backwards into the spoon or does he shuffle forwards? It's a bit of both.

It's a bit of nuzzling. More shuffle back. So he'll get into position, then I've got to go ba-doof. And then you rub it in. Shuffle the butt back into the spoon. Shuffle the butt back in. Back it up, back it up. Backing up that big dump truck.

Well, today we are 38 days. let this sink in for a second 38 days away from Christmas I'm so excited So it's Christmas tree time soon right? When like first if you're going to go real you'd go early December Yeah first week in December generally Also do you know what's cool about being an adult

and having an incredibly large mortgage? I remember, so our Christmas is my mum, my dad, Aaron and me. And we're, like, they're renovating a house, we're renovating a house, want for nothing. I just called mum yesterday, I was like, can we not do Christmas presents?

She was like, thank God, let's not do them. Might I recommend having that conversation? People are coming up being like, oh, I've got to do all this Christmas and I don't have enough money. Just say to people, I'm not doing it this year. Yeah. It's not about that.

We're going to make it about food and cocktails and sunshine. Spend time with your family. Or one suggestion I made was like, buy each other a book for the day. A book? Yeah, it's like 30 bucks. Oh, no thanks. Oh my God, what do you want?

Oh, a PlayStation. Oh, a book, I want a PlayStation. All right, well, next phrase is like, a book? Book? Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Well, today's silly little poll with 38 days until Christmas.

How do we feel about tinsel on Christmas trees? The origins of tinsel, my friends, German in invention. Okay. And was originally very thin slithers of actual silver. It was put in the tree and they put candles in the tree and it would reflect it and make it sparkle and everything. Oh. It was put in the tree and they'd put candles in the tree and it would reflect it and make it sparkle and everything. Right.

Mmm. We used to tinsel maybe when we were kids. If you've got a good thick bushy tinsel and it's done right then it looks good

but it's just more often than not tinsel. Is the bushy tinsel coming back into fashion because I had all mine lasered off. All my tinsel's gone.

It's too late. It's permanent. Well, you can buy new tinsel. back into fashion because I had all mine lasered off. All my tinsel's gone. It's too late. It's permanent. Well, you can buy new tinsel. It's bald bark down there, brother. Straight back to the bark. A couple of lights in the festive season. I feel it's just lights and baubles now, right? Yeah.

And maybe some ornaments. Isn't tinsel also famously terrible for the environment? It's just little tufted plastic, isn't it? He says as he doesn't put it on his plastic Christmas tree. Yeah. No real Christmas tree. Yeah. No real Christmas tree. I prefer to pluck it from the earth. Making oxygen for us, will you, tree?

Get in this pot. Problematic. Well, it's my first year with a Christmas tree, isn't it? Yes. Well, the results for Settle a Little Pole, tinsel or not? Yes, I love tinsel. 45%. No.

Tacky AF. 55%. The following thoughts from Nevaeh. Okay. It's about like Neve, but it's got a... Over the last E, so I'm giving it the A sound. Nevaeh. Whoever voted no is an absolute monster.

Big fan of tinsel. Pro tinsel. Pro tinsel. Dustin says yes because the tree looks that little extra better. That little extra better. Like sprinkles on a cupcake. It's already got icing. Now it needs sprinkles.

I'm not a fan of sprinkles. Amy says yes as long as it's one colour and goes with the overall colour scheme. It can't be a wish-wash, mish-mash of tinsel colours. Yeah, it's not the 80s now. You've got to colour coordinate your tree. Yeah, do you know what I hate is a blue Christmas tree. Oh, not a fan. I'm not a fan of the blue.

I go to the gold. Blue on the tree. Yeah, like blue and silver. Gold and red. Yeah, but blue and silver or gold and red, those would be your two main themes. Penny says, I hate this stuff, but the kids love it, so it's on one of the Christmas trees. Yeah, right. She's running a multi-tree house there.

Okay. Courtney says, yes, this is my idea for a silly little pole. So thank you, Courtney. Thank you, Courtney. The tree was put up in the weekend. Tinsel around the bottom to hide the legs of the tree. Oh, yes. The leg of the tree.

No, no, no. If it's a plastic one, yes. The leg of the tree. No, no, no. If it's a plastic one, you've got the spokes like that. Yes, okay. And that's hockey. And sometimes they have those tacky felt aprons that come with them. Oh, yeah.

Get tinsel. Not a look for everybody. I don't understand how people can be on board with Christmas, the tackiest holiday. Caitlin. I think you're tacky, Caitlin. Caitlin, ooh. What did Christmas do tacky, Caitlin. Caitlin. Ooh.

What did Christmas do to you, Caitlin? Yeah. Because someone's going to be starring in a Santa-themed movie where, you know, their lack of Christmas spirit means that Santa can't fly the sleigh. Oh, no. And then it's all because she didn't get a little red tricycle when she was a tot,

but it turns out she did get a little red tricycle when she was a tot, but it turns out she did get a little red tricycle. Caitlin, please. Please put some effort into Christmas, otherwise it won't happen. Hayley says, how about no Christmas tree at all? Jeez, and we'll save the Grinch's for last. No cost, no fuss, no tidy up.

How good. Goodness me. So quite a divided poll on tinsel. Christmas tinsel. To tinsel or not to tinsel? That is the question. I believe Shakespeare did write that. Exempt.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Three hours 36. Thanks for asking. Pretty pleased with that time. That's a bloody good time. Sub four is the goal, isn't it? Yep. Good for you.

Thanks, I appreciate it. Well. You've done a marathon, congratulations. You've been doing a lot of running recently, actually. Yeah, but more short. Sprints. Shorter, shorter, shorter running. You're doing sprints?

Yeah. Well, not sprints, but just trying to do a shorter time at a higher pace. Well, how long have you been doing it? You've been rocking some 5Ks. Yeah. We get alerted, of course, don't we? Yeah, we get alerted a lot. Do you get alerted?

No, I don't. I still can't add you on the circles thing. Yeah, it's weird. The rings. The circles thing. It says that I'm awaiting your response, but does it say you're awaiting my response? Yeah, then I go to add you and it just doesn't.

It doesn't. Nothing's happening there. It hates us. See, I'll just accept. Well, maybe it's worked're awaiting my response? Yeah, then I go to add you and it just doesn't. It doesn't. Nothing's happening there. It hates us. See, I'll just accept. Well, maybe it's worked. Has it worked? Has there been an update? Maybe there's been an update.

Now, you didn't. Oh, so you've been doing it on the. On the treadmill. On the tready. 5.76. Outside is hard on your knees. Hey, hey, if you're in your 20s and your knees already hurt, wait for your 30s and then your 40s,

and they just get a little bit sore. I think now you're in aqua jogging territory. You need a little floaty around the waist. I just can't convince Beryl and Cheryl and Gladys to do whirlpools. They don't want to do that. Bats might get ripped off in the slipstream. Pulled back behind them. Yeah, pulled back behind them.

Yeah, pulled back behind them. But that could help with their staring. Yeah. Well, a 50-year-old Chinese man has run a marathon. 50? 50. Good for him. Yeah, good for him.

However, he had a ciggy at his mouth the entire time. The dude was smoking ciggies the entire 42 kilometres. He said, there's currently no rules prohibiting them from smoking cigarettes, so I thought I'd give it a go. Oh, my God, the lungs. You are gasping for air, especially in that second part, right? Yeah. Let alone smoking a ciggie.

Oh, my God, I couldn't imagine anything worse. He did the marathon in three hours, 28 minutes. So he beat me with ciggies in his mouth. How many durries did he have in that time? No word on the official amount of durries. We've got his official time. Uncle Chen has run a few marathons. In 2018, he ran a marathon and had a couple of ciggies.

I love it. And then in 2019, he had a couple more cigs. It's a long time to go without a ciggy for a chain smoker. He's also reducing his time. Three hours 36, his first marathon, same time as me. Three hours 32 in 2019. And then he's now at three hours 28. And he did nothing but smoke cigs the entire time. The more ciggy he's smoking, the then he's now at 3 hours 28. And he didn't know him and smoked cigs the entire time. The more ciggy's he's smoking,

the faster he's running. If you look at the photos of him, one, he is so fat. You know runners' legs and they're all sinewy and like muscly and airy as he didn't know. He's got those. But like he's doing that thing, you know, when you're like walking and he's like covering his ciggy from the wind to try to

light it as he's running. He's a fool. He should have just, as one ciggy was burning he's like covering his ciggy from the wind to try to light it as he's running. He's a fool. He should have just, as one ciggy was burning down, light the next ciggy off the ciggy. Yeah. Switch around.

Has he got a bum bag with all the ciggies in it? That's what I don't know. If he was flicking his cigs, that makes me sick. Oh, yeah, yeah. He would be flicking his cigs. He's just not going to have

a portable ashtray. Imagine running behind him as well. Oh, yuck. He'd be like, far out. Even now, when I'm walking somewhere and I smell a cigarette, I'm like, Yeah, same. Early 2000s? Who the hell's

doing that? Am I in a bar? I know. When people used to smoke in bars, it's wild. We talked about smoking, oh, it was when we were laughing hysterically at that Mel Gibson thing where he looked like a 90s man smoking a cigarette watching the opening of Christmas presents.

And gosh, we laughed. I've seen it a few times since. People would send it to me saying, is this what you're talking about? I said, yes. And we chortled as pals. People messaged saying, yeah, they could remember having a ciggy in the hairdressers, getting their hair done with a ciggy. What?

Yeah, you could just smoke anywhere. Wild times. Bro, it's so gross. So, so gross. We used to run, like, in my marching team when I was really young, a housey, you know, like a very fast and long bingo. Used to smoke inside there,

and you'd be like a kid, like, just hanging out in this hall. It's wild, eh? Full of, like, a hundred smokers. And you come home and your clothes, it stank. No disrespect to smokers, your body, your choice. But it's vintage, isn't it? It's different times.

It's so vintage. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheezing. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it.

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