ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 17th February 2023

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Fizzling  Top 6: Kids Characters in Horrors  When did you prove them wrong?  Final Rankings!  Hayleys License  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  Yummy Yummy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee made just the way you like it. Well, watchers, keen watchers to the Instagram story of yourself yesterday, Vaughan,

would have seen you chopping down the tree. Yeah, I was chopping up the jacaranda tree that fell down in the recent storms. I've got a new chainsaw blade. Is that because you broke it on my tree? Did I break it on your tree? No, I broke it on my own cabbage tree, I think. I know you broke the pool. Oh, the pool thing.

Now, that's still functioning. How much is the new blade? $50 for a new chainsaw blade. And it was so sharp. And it just tore through that tree. Now, you did promise us yesterday that you were going to get quite excited because your wife was going to be chainsawing. And I didn't see any wife chainsawing.

No. She was filming. She was filming. She wasn't chainsawing. When I got home, she wasn't even home. Where was she? She was shopping. With another man. With another I got home She wasn't even home Where was she? She was shopping With another man

With another man Oh my god For chaps For safety chaps And then When I started chainsawing She just kind of watched I said are you going to give this a go

And she's like no I think we should call someone to do it Oh yeah Not only How emasculating She didn't even want you to do it So I was going to hire the chipper And the stump grinder

You'll remember this. And then she said she'd looked up how big the biggest chipper is that you could hire. Oh, yeah. And it wasn't big enough to do the majority of the big logs down the pipe. You can hide it when it doesn't fit. Oh, it's awful. You can ram it in as much as you like, but if it's not going to fit, it's not going to fit. Thumbing it in.

I mean, you could take an axe out and split it's not going to fit. Thumbing it in. Mm-hmm. I mean, you could take an axe out and split it and then put that through. But, you know. You could try. Shave a bit off the sides. Yeah, shave a bit off the sides. And then she said, oh, somebody messaged me. An arborist messaged me when I put up the photo of the tree falling down. And they'll come around and have a look.

And I was like. And I must have this look on my face. And I was just like, I looked shitty because I was shitty. Yeah. Because it's my fun. Also, you were expecting her in lingerie and chaps. Lingerie and chaps with a chainsaw. And then she said, oh, are you shitty at me because I'm spoiling your fun?

I said, you are spoiling my fun. I'm not shitty at you, but you are spoiling my fun. And then she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't get shitty. Don't get shitty. And, of course, that made me shitty. When you're not shitty and someone's always telling you to stop getting shitty What's the mood? I don't have a mood

That's what you're saying You're like, no You asked me if you're spoiling my fun And I said, yeah, you are spoiling my fun Because I love that sort of thing Now, did you section off a nice portion of this fallen tree To make Hayley and I the friendship chopping boards So, it is really

rotten. Well it fell. It blew itself over. It snapped at the trunk. It's a very rotten tree. You'll have to resin it. I'm not resining rotten. Chappelle Corby does resin. She does clocks. Yeah so you can fill in all the holes of the rot with just resin. I was telling my daughters

about Chappelle Corby the other day. Because when we dropped my mate off at the airport, you know, that whole disaster that we talked about on the show. Yes, yeah. There were lots of people with heaps of bags, and they were all wrapped in plastic. And they're like, why are the people wrapping their bags in plastic? Chappelle Corby.

Because he was a woman. Honestly, one woman. So this is for international listeners that don't know. You can look up this name. But she went to Bali. In 2000 and... A long time ago. Oh, no. Well before then.

And it was a boogie board bag, wasn't it? And it was stuffed with weed. It had four and a half kgs of weed. I don't know a lot about weed. That's a lot of weed. That's more than a brick of weed. And so she maintained innocence, right? Didn't she say, it's not me?

Yeah. To this day. She's been in an Indonesian prison. She's not anymore. She's out. this day she's been in an indonesian prison she's not anymore she's out no she's out making resin clocks it was she was convicted on the 27th of may 2005 wow wow yeah okay but the actual flight was on the 8th of october 2004 right so she arrived i'll read what it says on the wikipedia page passing through customs upon her arrival in Bali, Corby was stopped by customs officers

and found to have 4.2 kilograms of cannabis and a double plastic vacuum sealed bag in an unlocked bodyboard bag. The customs officer said she initially tried to prevent him from opening the department with the cannabis in it. Right. That's a real red flag. Then she says at the trial, she said, that's not true.

She opened it when she was asked whose bag it was. And there was a language barrier between them and there's no CCTV footage of it. But after that, she was found guilty and spent nine years. No, she was only released like a couple of years ago. Yeah. She was released in 2014. Yeah. After nine years in prison. Oh my God, I said a couple of years ago. She's been out nine years ago yeah yeah she was released she was released in 2014 yeah after nine years in prison

oh my god i said a couple of years she's been out nine years ago nine years wow yeah but she is the reason to this day that people get that plastic wrap on their suitcases because she's been burned into like australasia's memory yeah because she said that someone yeah had slipped it in at the airport yeah and she's like it's not mine people are going, if somebody ever slipped anything into my bag, you can't fight for it. You'll be in jail for 10 years. And she didn't look like a drug dealer, did she? No.

She had lovely green eyes and brown hair, and the eyebrows of the time were thin, ladies and gentlemen. Just an Aussie girl. Just an Aussie girl. Just an Aussie girl from Brizzy. But then they looked into it. Oh, Bogan, though. She had Bogan.

She was a bit, oh, that was the thing where people started looking into it a bit more. She was, Bogan, Bogan bought him bread.ogan. She was a bit, that was the thing where people started looking into it a bit more. She was, Bogan, Bogan bought them red. She's making resin clocks. Yeah, she's going straight back to her Bogan roots. So yeah,

she is the reason that the plastic bags are all, the suitcases are all wrapped in plastic. Yeah. I don't know how we got here from Sade not wearing chaps.

No, we got there though and now we're back. It's the journey, isn't it? It's the journey. It's about the journey. It's the journey, not the destination.

Because we're fucking lost, aren't we? In the woods. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Terrible news. Terrible news. I think we need to scrub the last few weeks. Yeah.

This was supposed to be our year. No, that was the Warriors. That was the Warriors. And the Warriors. It's always the Warriors here. This was supposed to be our bounce back. I know. No, we're falling back.

We're tumbling back. Shiver me timbers. Just hoping for a great winter. I was talking to my boy Dave at Mitre 10. You're at your Mitre 10 too. He's your boy. He's my boy as well. Is he my boy as well? No. No way.

You're inner city Bunnings trash. I know I am. It's the closest one. It's the closest one. And he was saying that sold $100,000 worth of generators in one day. Silver lining. Wow. But he said there's no...

Provider 10. There's no great profit margin on generators. He said they're usually a pain in the ass to stop because you don't make any money off them, but you have to have them. Because they're expensive and you sit in... And people want them. Yeah. In these sorts of situations.

How much is a generator? A good one would be a thousand bucks, right? Wow. So a hundred of them, at least a hundred of them is marched out the door. Just in a day. The other day.

Is that just Auckland? Just West Auckland. Oh. Wow. That's just his store. Because of so many people still out West Auckland are without power at their houses.

Well, yeah, a lot of people around the country still without power. It's power at their houses. Well, yeah, a lot of people around the country are still without power. It's insane. The photos. Eskdale Valley? Esk Valley. Esk Valley.

Eskdale's on the North Shore, isn't it? Esk Valley in a horse bay. Jeez Louise. Good wine. It looks like, hopefully. Esk Valley's got good wine. Hopefully there's some left. Man, those photos are insane.

It looks like a post-apocalyptic movie set. Heartbreaking. Well, I know that a lot of people are having trouble in the Hawke's Bay getting information. Well, the Hawke's Bay Today are publishing a special 16-page edition of the Hawke's Bay Today, and that'll be free. Is there a crossword in it? I don't know, but it will have vital Is there a crossword in it? It'll have... I don't know,

but it will have vital information from the Napier and Hastings Councils, Hawke's Bay Council, DHB and Civil Defence and that'll be available at retailers. It won't be delivered to home subscribers. So if you want that, just go and grab a free copy

where you normally get the Hawke's Bay today. I'd imagine delivery of anything. Yeah, just a nightmare at the moment. But a lot of essential information get the Hawke's Bay today. I'd imagine delivery of anything. Yeah, just a nightmare at the moment. But a lot of essential information in the Hawke's Bay today, and that's a free edition out today. So if you run the Hawke's Bay, that will help. Nothing cheers you up in a catastrophe like a good Sudoku. That's so frustrating.

You know? Why are you frustrating? You can put the numbers anywhere. You can put the numbers anywhere. Get that out of here. Get that done. No, you can't put the numbers anywhere. And get back to the information. Well, you of here. Get that done. No, you can't put the numbers anywhere. And get back to the information.

Well, you can. No one's checking. No one's checking. You don't hand it in. Who's checking other people's interviews? It's not a matter. No. Coming up on the show, the top six.

Vaughan would have got on the agenda today. Well, this has been bubbling in the background for ages, but some guy's making a Winnie the Pooh horror movie. Oh, my God. It looks deadly. Is it sanctioned by Winnie the Pooh land? This is what I was thinking. Who owns Hedges Disney? Oh, Disney, yeah. I own Winnie the Pooh and all other

yeah, A.A. Milne characters? Is that who did Winnie the Pooh? Johnny Depp in that movie, finally. No, that was Peter Pan. But I've got the top six other children's characters. A.A. Milne. A.A. Milne, thank you. Yeah, that's one more step ahead of the chaser

so I think if I ever get a bit of trivia right he would have got A.A. Milne yeah but they always get it she or she don't be sexist

there are female chasers I honestly think they're the two best chasers yeah the vixen and the governess oh no the governess the dutch the duchess

we're not ahead of her now because the question was what is her name? She knew it. We didn't. One step closer. So the top six. Top six other children's characters that would make horrible horror movies.

Terrible. Terrifying. Coming up on the show, your chance as well to win another $1,000 with our cash combo. You've just got to be listening out for three artists, three songs from these three artists after 9 o'clock this morning. Oh, my God, the artists. And then be the first caller through today.

It's a Friday Jams day. I was like, huh? Friday Jams artists today. You've got to be listening out for those. We'll give you the artists throughout the show this morning, so keep listening. Next on the show, though, a carjacking has gone terribly. A rye.

Oh, dear. Well, there's been a carjacking attempt in Tacoma. Where's that? Obviously, America. Is it Arizona? How do you spell it? T-A-C-O-M-A Tacoma is and Washington is

T-A-K-O-M-A T-A-K-O-M-A. Yeah, Tacoma Park. Silver Spring in Tacoma Park. Maryland. Washington D.C. Maryland. It borders the city of Tacoma Park, Maryland. Okay, right. So it's the same. Oh, it's a suburb of Washington.

Yeah, and then it's split on a border, runs through the middle of it, and Tacoma's on one side, Tacoma Park's on the other. America makes no sense. I'll say that much. What's a suburb? What's a city? What's a region?

What's a state? They have police and then they have sheriffs. Yeah. And then the sheriffs. No, but then the sheriffs. Yeah. And you elect your sheriff. No, but then the sheriffs will drive around like in police cars and stuff. But they're an elected official. Right. And they say, I'm the sheriff of this here town.

And then you'd be a sheriff with no background. Right. In police, law enforcement. You could be like a lawyer and you're like, I'm going to be a sheriff. But then, like, who do you call if there's a, in this case, carjacking? It's Ghostbusters. Always Ghostbusters. So a man, it was quarter past six at night.

It was dark. This happened on Monday. He was leaving the supermarket, this man, and was loading up his child and groceries in the vehicle when a man approached with a knife and demanded the keys to his vehicle. The victim complied and the suspect entered the vehicle. I'm assuming at this stage the kid was out of the car. The kid and the dad were out of the car.

We don't know. But the suspect was unable to drive the car away and carjacked the man's car because it was a manual transmission. That's so embarrassing. My sake. And they're now looking for a man who's described as 5'8 and weighing 130 pounds. So wait, did he get in, turn it on, bunny hop a bit, get out?

It was like, well, it's not an automatic. How do I drive this? You just figure it out. This is someone the other day. Like, when you take your driver's license test now, I remember, like, back in the day when we license test now, I remember like, back in the day when we got our licenses, did you have to do it

in a manual or if you did it in an automatic? If you could only drive auto. Yeah. On your license it said A or M.

But then now. If you could do manual, you were allowed to do both. But if you only did it in automatic, you weren't allowed to drive a manual. Yeah, that was out

by the time I got my license. Yeah. Because I sat mine in an auto but I could drive both. I remember before I learned how to drive a manual. Yeah, that was out by the time I got my license. Yeah. Because I sat mine in an auto, but I could drive both. I remember before I learned how to drive a manual, I was like 19 or something. Yeah. And I was at drama school and I went into work placement and I was like with this big company

and I was really nervous trying to impress them. And they said, can you move the cars from this car park to there? Because, you know, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I said, yep, absolutely. Trying to impress this big company. And the first car I got into was like this like vintage manual and I went

well I can't go back in and say I don't know how to drive manual so I just sort of went like in this car park in a vintage manual yeah it was this old like 70s car and I went nothing smells quite as good as a burning clutch yeah I think I might have had like one lesson,

so I sort of knew how to maybe use a clutch. Right. Yeah, I just, I don't know. Bunny hops. I remember the sound of it just being like. My friend James still has a manual, but I don't know anyone else that does. Especially a big city.

I would have a manual if I didn't have to drive in the city. Yeah. Aaron's car he has now is the first auto he's had. He's driven manuals his whole life. Autos rule, but there is something cool about driving a manual. As long as you're not stuck studying constantly. That's really driving. That's really driving.

That's real driving. That's really going. A story from August last year, 13% of new cars still have manual gears. But that would be like car cars, right? Well, what do you mean car cars? Like racy cars. Yeah, like racy cars. No, because my friend's got a Suzuki Swift.

Oh, that's so embarrassing. And it's manual. You've been in it. I know, but it's embarrassing that it's manual. You've been in it. Ten years ago, the number was 37% of new cars offered a manual transmission. Okay, so they are phasing out by the looks of it. Yeah, so 13%.

Wow. But you can't drop a real proper fat skid in an order. Not like in the starlight back in the day. No, not in the starlight. No, not once those wheels got spinning. And then you come home and dad would say, have you been doing skids in that car? And you'd look him straight in the eye and say,

absolutely not. Oh my God. Yesterday I was in Mount Eden and I was driving and I saw a park that was, I could drive into it rather than have to parallel and like stop traffic. So I drove in and then I sort of just like lost interest in what I was doing and got distracted. And I curbed my tyre so bad that all the people sitting outside this cafe went like, and like turned and looked at me

and I had to pull this like face looking like an absolute stupid woman behind the wheel. Oh, no. Like the sound was like crunch. It wasn't like you were trying to parallel park in an extremely tight space. No, no, I have a small car, and it was a large car park, and I thought, oh, I'll just drive into it,

and oh, my God, the sound echoed through the whole village. So not only do you need a spare tyre for your car, you also need another rim. It was so bad that I could have popped my tyre. That's how bad the kerb was. Wow. Ouch. And the rims are

munted. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now I opened one article and now I've got a tangential article as well. Right. Multi-tabs. Yeah, I've got multi-tabs open. All sorts here.

Because Hinge... Feels like you're doing a deep dive. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's still shallow. Still shallow. Don't have a lot of time. Yeah, good. Hinge revealed the top queer dating trends of 2023 in their first ever LGBTQI plus dating report. Well, happy Pride Month.

Fascinating. This is timely. Happy Pride Month. Timely. Wait, is it February Pride Month? Well, it's kind of our Pride Time, but America's more like June, isn't it? Is it?

Oh, the gay's like a warm month. I thought you were an ally. Absolute ally. I dabble. Because the gay, is a gay still hibernating in the colder months? Yeah. Obviously February for us,

June, July for the... Yeah, overseas gays. Northern Hemisphere gays. Northern Hemisphere gays. Particularly the bears, because they need to... They're in a cave, aren't they? Or a knee-high homo, is what they're called. Northern Hemisphere gays. Northern Hemisphere gays. Particularly the bears because they need to bulk up. They're in a cave, aren't they? Or Nihihomo is what they're called.

Northern Hemisphere. Yeah. And they come out for the summer months. Nihihomo. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas here we've got rainbow Oreos. It's all on.

Oh, my God. I know. A big part. I haven't seen the rainbow Oreos. Hey, I love Oreos. Be an ally. Hello. Oh, yeah. Hello. be a part. I haven't seen the Rainbow Oreos. Hey, I love Oreos. Be an ally. Hello. Oh, yeah, you need to be.

Hello. Hello. Knock, knock. Ally at the door. Well, there you go. You can take those back to your cave. Are you a bear? I think I would be.

I think you would be. I think I would be. But you've been sort of shredded for that wedding you went to. Well, you're model dimensions now. I tell you what, model dimensions out the window. Is he moving back into twink territory? I've had a very naughty week. This week started with Super Bowl and it's been cake ever since.

Oh, right. Did you hear that? I'm allowing myself a week off. Fletch just laughed at the idea of you being a twink. No, Vaughn knows he's not a twink. Oh, I could be a twink. Oh, come on. Believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself. Look at his beard-daddy beard. I've always been too big to be a twink. No. Even when I was a teen. Oh, come on. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Look at his beard, daddy beard. I've always been too big to be a twink. No. Even when I was a teen. Oh, sweetie, believe in yourself. I wouldn't have been a twink. I would have been an otter.

That's a young. I love that you know all the terms. Young. That's so great. I've got an otter there. We could keep going. So they released all these stats. They said bisexual daters are three times more likely to have never

actually gone on a queer date. So I guess you would go on this app and say you're into both, but then just start dating just the opposite gender. And 87% said they're ready to explore their sexuality more. 57% of people in the queer community say that the lack of communication was the biggest hindrance in their dating life in 2022, which brings me to this term that was a bit of a word that came out of this that they heard a lot.

Is this a term that could also be used by straights? Yes, but they're saying... Straights! By the straights. I believe that's what they call it. By the straights, yeah. It's called we call them. By the Straights, yeah. It's called fizzling. Fizzling?

Fizzling. Okay, let's try and work out what fizzling is, Vaughan. Fizzling. Fizzling. Starting hot, fizzling out. Oh, yeah. Like, coming in super hot. Hey.

Wah. Sit on my... Face. Wow. Like, coming in hot. Here's a picture of this. And then... Face. Wow. All right, come in and hock. Here's a picture of this. And then, yeah. And then, oh, okay, here's a picture of mine.

And then let's hock up. And then... So one extreme, you'd have ghosting. This is it. But then fizzling would be a slow ghost. Yeah. So fizzlers, people who fizzle, is basically someone trying to avoid being an a-hole by ghosting.

So they are ghosting, but they're diluting it by fizzling. Are they waiting for the other person to call it? Or they sort of want to just be like, I don't want to be the one to ghost you, but I'm not interested. But I don't have it into me to just ignore you and shut off. So I'll start limiting my messages and say, oh, hey, sorry sorry I'm a bit busy at the moment. I'll come back to you and then take days and then you have to respond and be like hey what do you think? Strategic withdrawal.

It is a strategic withdrawal from the territory. So 90% of the people that they surveyed in this Hinge LGBTQI plus survey 90% of people said that they have experienced some type of fizzling. And have probably fizzled themselves.

And have fizzled themselves. That's what they're saying. We're fizzlers. We're fizzlers. We're all fizzlers. So I'm sure we fizzle in the straight world. But out of this, I mean, 90% of people in this. Fizzlers.

Are big fizzlers. There's some interesting stats in this. Why is it so hard just to say, no, I mean, 90% of people in this. Fizzlers. A big fizzlers. There's some interesting stats in this. Why is it so hard just to say, no, I'm not keen? Because it hurts. But you don't want to say that, do you? You know what it's like when someone says it to you. So if you're a nice person. So you just fizzle it.

You fizzle it. And we're not used to being blunt about things, yeah, that we don't like. Yeah. We say like, oh, it's not really for me. Oh, I don't really. It's not quite the spark as opposed to being like, I don't like you. Oh, say like, oh, it's not really for me or I don't really, it's not quite the spark as opposed to being like, I don't like you.

Oh, see that? Yeah, that hurt. That stung. My tone was off. It had a sting to it. I don't like you. No, no, no. That hurt more.

You know what? I'm happy. Super dismissive. I'm happy with you just fizzling me if that's the way you're going to speak to me. I'll fizzle you back.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley from the Panoramic ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. Yeah. The horror film starring Winnie the Pooh and his associates. The director has said he's received death threats.

So this is a live action film. Yes. Yeah, I've seen the trailer for it. It looks more like, now I'm not sure, but it's very, the costumes aren't at all lifelike. It almost looks like a heist where the people are dressed as Winnie the Pooh. Yes. Are they allowed to say Winnie the Pooh? It's called Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey.

Wouldn't Disney own the rights or is it too old now? Oh, okay. Here we go. Disney owns the rights to Or is it too old now? Oh, okay. Here we go. Disney's loans and rights to the cartoon version of Winnie the Pooh, but the original A.A. Milne books entered the public domain in early 2022. Oh, yikes. Once a work enters the public domain, it can legally be shared, performed, used, repurposed,

or sampled without permission or cost. This means the filmmakers of the new horror movie can include elements from the original books, leaving out any elements introduced by Disney. Right. They, yeah, so that's how they've got

around that. But you can still say Winnie the Pooh because wouldn't that be trading? No, because it's something that's what A.A. Milne called it. Wow.

Okay, that's going to be interesting. Oh my God, it doesn't feel right. So in one of the freeze frames from Blood and Honey there's Winnie the Pooh and Piglet who's very much like a warthoggy freaky looking pig. Not the cute little pig he was.

Loitering behind a well endowed woman in a spa pool. Oh goodness. Oh yeah I see that. So I don't know what's going to happen there. But this does look like one of those. Will he eat honey still? I'd imagine so.

Yeah, I can see a photo of the Winnie the Pooh mask, which kind of looks like Jim Carrey in The Grinch. Yeah. With dribbling honey down his chin. Oh, good. Okay. It looks like one of those trash horrors. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's straight trash. Straight trash horror. But I've got the top six children's characters who make terrifying horror movies. Okay. Number six on the list, show sponsor Ronald McDonald. Yeah, easily. He's easily the scariest of that lineup.

Grimace could be a bit scary. And the Hamburglar, well, there's your thief. Yeah. If you turned Ronald McDonald's big, happy, red smile into a joker smile. Scarwy. Number five on the list of the top six children's characters that make terrifying horror movies,

The Very Hungry Caterpillar, zombie edition. Oh, yeah. On Monday, he ate three children at the local school. Yeah. On Wednesday, he ate five children at the local school. Yeah. On Wednesday, he ate five elderly at the rest home. And then he goes around and he eats. Sitting ducks. At the end of the film, Cocoon comes out.

And he's huge. He gets bigger and bigger. Like he starts small, but then he's like the size of a train. Yeah. And then he turns into this huge butterfly. Yes. With like tattered wings. This is a good idea.

That'd be pretty cool. Just a really good idea. Number four on the list of the top six children's characters that make terrifying horror movies, Thomas the Runaway Train. Yes. He's just... Although that train explosion that's happened in the US,

did you see that? No. It's insane. When? This week? I think it was last week. That'll be the aliens. Yes. That'll be the UFOs. Have they shot down any more UFOs this week? This week? I think it was last week. That'll be the aliens. Yes.

That'll be the UFOs. Have they shot down any more UFOs this week? The US? I think no. In the last couple of days? Yeah. It's just shooting things willy-nilly. The aliens have gone, I think.

They've abandoned. Number three on the list of the top six children's characters that make terrifying horror movies. Postman Pat goes postal. You're putting, what's that stuff? Anthrax. Anthrax in people's mailboxes. And Farmer Tom's like, hello, Pat. Hello. Got anything for me? And he's like, oh,

I think this is for my sister. Opens it up. Pat, what happened? And his cat's clawing people too. Yeah. Yeah. Psycho cat. Psycho cat, yeah. Number two on the list of the top six children's characters that make terrifying horror movies,

Peter Pan, the nighttime child abductor. Oh, yeah. He flies in. Already a little bit creepy anyway. Yeah. The boy, the man that never aged out of being a boy. Yeah, all right, Michael Jackson. In the window.

Hello, Wendy. Fly with me. Yeah, and pushes kids out the window saying they can fly. Yeah. But they can't. They die. Apart from his favourite. He steals it.

Yeah. And he never brings it back. And number one on the list of the top six children's characters that make terrifying horror movies are Paddington Bear as Cocaine Bear. Have you seen the trailer for Cocaine Bear? Oh, yeah. No, but I do want to see this movie. It looks amazing.

Based on a true story. Yeah, it is. You know what's amazing is my friend is the bear. What? Yeah. Where did they film it? In New Zealand? No, no.

My friend Alan trained under Andy Serkis, and he's the bear. So was it like Andy Serkis when he did Gollum? Yeah, he's like in motion capture's thing and he's got a head attached with the bear snout and he does all the movements of the bear. How cool is that? That is wild.

Train under Andy Serkis. Yeah. The king of motion capture. I know. I know, but go and play a bit of motion capture. We should talk to a friend when the movie comes out. We definitely should. We should.

Yeah. Because it looks crazy. But what's our first question going to be? What's it like being a bear? Yeah. No, we'll catch up for a bit. What bears, what famous bears did you study?

Do you eat salmon? Yeah. Yes. Did you shove twigs and hairs up your butt when you hibernated? Yeah. Are you an IPA or more of a lager man? Yes.

Yeah. Okay. You know what, I take a bear and go full method. Like a Leto sort of, you know how Jared Leto embodies the character. Yeah.

He's an asshole. Yeah. Calm down. Yeah. Pump method, like a Leto sort of, you know how Jared Leto embodies the character. Yeah. Asshole. Yeah, calm down. Yeah. Pump the brakes there, Leto. Imagine doing that if you were going to do motion capture. I know. Fully encapsulate the bear living. Rad.

Well, that is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I've snoozed on this one. I should have got producer Jared to whip us up a Willie News thing. I don't know if we need a... We could have used Will Smith's Big Willie style. I was literally about to pull up Big Willie styles.

Pull it up for me. Okay, okay. In the background. Pull up that Big Willie. Pull up the Big Willie. Yeah, because I've got news on the Big Willies. It needs music. Oh, that's the Ox Chord going in.

Oh, I forgot. Amateur Hour here at ZDM. Amateur Hour. DJ Vaughn Ox. Big Willie Styles. You don't need to look for the clean version. It's not called that, is it? Yeah, it is.

The album was Big Willie Styles. The single featuring Left Eye Lopez. Oh, Lisa Left Eye. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. Oh. This one goes out to all of you. Oh, Lisa Left Eye. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. Oh.

This one goes out to all of you. Oh. Whoa. Yeah, we don't know who it's going out to. This is an explicit. Clean rap. Clean rap. Clean rap.

Clean rap. Okay. All right. What's your Big Willie Styles news? Big Willies. Okay. So a bunch of scientists took data from 75, they've called them schlong studies. Okay.

Between 1942 and 2021, that took in measurements of penises. Now, have you ever been asked to participate? Producer Gerard, you can answer this as well as a bloke. Have you ever been asked to give measurements to someone for a study or let someone in your door with a ruler? I would think it was a trick.

Yeah, I would think it was a trick too, right? JP, have you measured your will and sent it off to some scientists? No, I can't say I have. No? Would you think it was a trap if somebody knocked on your door? 100%. Yeah, that someone was just going to put it on the internet and go, hee hee hee hee.

Or like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, more likely that one. Yeah, yeah, who am I to say, who am I to say? So 55, all of these studies together

equated to 55,000 blokes between the ages of 18 and 86 who had measured their willies over these years. And what they found is that they confirmed that between the years of 1992 and today,

so a few decades. I changed to getting jiggy with it. Yeah, it's a better song. It's a rubbish song, wasn't it? So between 1992 and today, there has been a 24% increase in the length of the average erect

penis. That's inflation. Yeah, it is. It's erection, I believe. It's massive inflation. It's not all those soy lattes you're having, is it? Or do they just give you bigger boobs? No, that's the bigger boobies. I saw this news yesterday and I immediately thought, well, I as a smaller penis individual better come up with a defence.

Right, as to why this hasn't worked for you. Or why it's not good. Why is it not good? The average size over that time, 1992 to today, was around 4.8 inches. Still using inches for some reason. And now to six would be the average. So that's half a subway.

You just hit six and then went, that wasn't. Six-ish? 15.2 centimetres. half a subway. You just hit six and then went... That wasn't... Six-ish? 15.2 centimetres. Half a ruler. So that's half a school ruler. Half a school ruler. Yeah. So they were trying to find out the reason behind this.

Oh yeah, you've got a little ruler. So that's the new average full mast. Right. How hard are they pushing the ruler into the guts at the bottom? Under the balls? Yeah, we measure it from the top or the bottom. From the pubis or the... You get at least a couple of inches if you go from under the balls.

My mate's granddad, when we were teenagers, I think he overheard us talking a lot of smack about this, and he said, you measure it like you measure a cat's tail. You started the arsehole. Oh, no you don't. I don't think you should make that comment to a group of teenage boys.

We lost our minds when he said that. Very funny. Graham, you can't say that. I mean, that's different for a cat though, isn't it? Because it's... Yeah.

The tail's right there. Yeah, I'd like to know. I'd say it's from the top of the pubis. Imagine if it was a website where they were like, okay, so you can anonymously put your... Submit. Yeah. Your schlong pick.

Yeah. But you've got to have it beside a ruler. And then they could, you know, get a... Because maybe only the guys with the bigger wangs are putting their hands up to be measured. Oh, right. Yeah, that's a good call. Everybody else is just staying mum.

That might be it. So they were trying to come to get to the bottom because they're like, we need to know why this is happening because at some point it's not going to be good. They'll be unusable. Yeah. Is it plastic bags?

Well, they're saying there could be factors such as exposure to hormone-disrupting chemicals in our environment and in our foods. There's another theory too that it could be

due to the amount of pornography that people are watching and increasing the amount of pornography. No, that can't be. It can't be, Hayley. Well, we're stretching it.

It's just a theory. Okay. The theory is the more that someone has an erection, the greater potential there is for longer, stronger, better erection. The tissue would stretch more. Right, okay. And then make more room for blood to fill it on up. So I, this came from Stanford.

Yeah. That's a well-respected university. They looked into this. There could be a number of factors at play, such as chemical exposure, like pesticides or hygiene products interacting with our hormonal systems. Yes.

These endocrine-disrupting chemicals, and there are many exist in our environment and our diet. And as we change our body's constitution, that also affects our hormonal milieu. Well, you've been using a lot of farms on the farm. I've got to get... Sprays on the farm.

How are you going? Terribly. Just spray more. Spray more. I'm going to go home today and round up the whole bloody place. You've got to just... Play. Zidim's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Today's Silly Little Pole. Love them or hate him. Crocs. I hate to stay. I've seen some Crocs in some shoe stores. Yeah, no, they're... They're not just banished to the Crocs department

and the little Croc shop anymore. No, they've gone mainstream. Yeah, they're very much in there. And they have for a while. Yeah. They're fashion. They're like literally not just people are wearing them because they're a comfy shoe.

It's fashion, baby. It's fast fashion. And then let your gibbets speak for you. Yeah. And yeah, the Smith family got on the Crocs train. Big Crocs. Yeah. Big Crocs.

You did some influencing, didn't you? Some Croc fluencing, they call it. Yeah. And they're comfy. They're great. Slide them on. Walk out anywhere. No one has ever denied that they're very comfortable.

People that work as nurses and in kitchens and gardeners Yeah, I want to get Aaron a pair for gardening. If anything gets dirty, he just hires them off. Yeah. And then they dry again soon.

Again, we were on Crocs. Remember when Crocs took us to Rotorua in a helicopter for the day? They did. We took the trip and we scoffed at them. And Clint's wife vomited

in the helicopter. Yes. She vomited a lot. Low constitution, that one. And I'll tell you what, they took us all the way and they wined and dined us. And did we say that we liked Crocs? No, we actually went on air and said. We laughed in their face.

How embarrassing. Went on air and said. And now, years later, look who's back. Look who's laughing now. It's Crocs. I'm still laughing. I still haven't bought a pair. Nurses?

Yes. Kitchen workers? Chefs? Yep. pair. Nurse. Nurses? Yes. Kitchen workers? Chefs? Yeah. Cafe chefs? Cooks? Everything? Yes.

Fishermen? Say two. Fishermen? Just your hobby fisherman. Your hobby fisherman. I don't know. I don't get the fashion side of things. We asked.

You answered. Crocs? Uno, 64%. Yeah. Yes, 36%. That's on the rise. If you had asked this five years ago, holy%. Yeah. Yes, 36%. That's on the rise. If you had asked this five years ago, holy moly. It would have been lower.

Patty says, yes, but only on my three-year-old daughter. They look weird when they're on big people's feet. Yeah, they're cute on kids. Kids love a croc. Brittany says, they're the worst fashion crime ever. They either stay at home or in the trash. You never wear them to the supermarket. Please don't. Oh, yes, wear them to the supermarket. No. That's a great place for crocs. If we stay at home or in the trash. You never wear them to the supermarket. Please don't.

Oh yes, wear them to the supermarket. That's a great place for props. Hey, if we can wear our boots to the supermarket. Yeah, people wear their goddamn pyjamas to the supermarket.

This isn't World War II. We're not evacuating because of an air raid siren. Yeah. With some respect. Lauren says, I was a massive hater until I realised

I could use gibbets to decorate them. Now I'm somewhat obsessed. So comfy and way more practical than we give them credit for. Hashtag put them in sports mode. Sports mode? That's where you fold it forward.

Or you pull it back. That's four-wheel drive. Yeah, okay. Casual Crocs, four-wheel drive. We're going off-roading in the Crocs. Okay. Brandon says, I would lose my gay card if I ever wore those things. Now, are the homosexuals not?

I would have thought. I would have thought. I love the little gibbets. Yeah. A real. not? I would have thought a couple of rainbow gibbets. Yeah, a real... Get them in the pride parade? Yes. Pride gibbets. Pride gibbets.

I'm sure you can. 100% would be pride gibbets. Bianca says they have awesome jandals that you wouldn't know are Crocs and they're so comfy. That's the thing. We're talking about traditional Crocs. We don't want your jandals. Not your Crocs jandals.

That's just jandals made by crocs. Our friend Louise has croc high heels. She had Balenciaga crocs. She's got Balenciaga crocs that are platforms. How much did those cost? Hundreds. And then she's got croc

stilettos. Yeah. Those are the Balenciaga ones. We like her still, but it's getting harder. Imagine having that much money and a great sense of humor. She wouldn't tell me how much because she knew I was just going to absolutely go with her. Yeah, I bet. Eden says, no in general, but they have a time and a place where they're acceptable. Boats, camping, et cetera. Not for Sian.

Yeah, but overall, what would you, 60, it was 60%. 60, yeah. Sian's worried that if she bought them, her boyfriend would break up with her. And at the moment, he means more to her than the Crocs. But Crocs are forever. Boyfriends come and go. Are they forever?

Do they not break down? They will literally not break down, my friend. They'll be here millions of years after humans are extinct. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A story out of the UK, some young fellas, they go into detail about how they They tried to set a record for the longest distance Travelled by kite over land

What like on a string? A kite? Like a kite boarding kite Oh Is it fun? So they were on a wheeled vehicle But they were like trying to steer it Is it bad?

I don't even know if I should say this But you know when you see those kite boarders, you want to see them get smashed and you want to see them get dragged down. I want to see them get dragged along. I want to see them go real high. Yes. Like lifted.

Scary high. But even they must be like, I'm a little bit high. Am I ever coming down? How do they get down? Do they just angle the... Yeah, and the wind eventually drops down. It's so bad when I watch it

where I'm just like, I want that person to eat shit. They're always right beside the motorway. I'm like, you're gonna end up in a truck. I know! Yes. I worry for them. I worry for them. I worry for you kiteboarders. If you're a kiteboarder and you listen to the show, just take care of yourself. Yeah, be safe out there. That's crazy. Or if you do feel like having a daredevil date,

let me know where and I'll come and watch. We'll sit on the thing and judge you. Like how most people judge the All Blacks. Yeah. Like old, overweight guys eating a bag of chips off their big fat guts and tell the All Blacks how they're doing it wrong. That'll be us for kiteboarding. Well, so these two dudes decided, they sound like real go-getters.

They came home and they started an ice cream brand, but a low-calorie ice cream brand. Oh, yeah, like Halo Top. Not familiar. Halo Top's like a, yeah, like a Jimmy kind of low-carb, low-sugar. Is it coconut or something? No, no, it's just sweeteners instead of sugar. Is it nice?

It's not as nice as a bloody tip-top. Nothing beats a full cream. I know. Outrageous milk. Yeah. Ice cream. So they started this company, and I didn't know this. So Dragon's Den, you know the show.

You like Dragon's Den, Shark Tank. I like Shark Tank. Whatever it's called. Dragon's Den is the British one. Yes, Shark Tank's. American. Yeah. So they go in front of a panel of rich people who have had some success in business,

and they try to convince them to buy in or give them some money or whatever. They actively go out and find small companies and say, hey, we're calling from the BBC. You should come and be on Dragon's Den. Yeah. Oh, okay. These guys had rejected them five or six times

every time they called about their ice cream brand Oppo. They were like, nah, it's fine. We've got some funding lined up. But then everything got significantly more expensive. The world changed. So when they called the next time, they were like, maybe we will, because it could be good. So they

went in and they gave a little bit behind the scenes of how Dragon Den works as well. They don't tell you in the order of which they're going to call you up, because they want you stressed and strung out and worried. So you come out bumbling and sweaty and kind of put on the spot. Whereas if they told you the exact time, you would get yourself into the space to be ready to be caught.

But they don't tell you any of that. So they want them frazzled. They came out, they asked for 60,000 pounds for a 7% share of oppo. Oh, that's not much. Yeah. That's not much at all, is it? No. No.

So they were rejected. They were told it was too risky. They also, one of the guys on the Dragon's Den said they looked like a pair of estate agents and they should have been wearing their brand. And they did that thing where they're classically like, invite you along, get you frazzled, rip you to bits, hope you're going to cry.

Yeah. But these guys didn't. It's good TV. And they were told they were all just like, not you frazzled, rip you to bits, hope you're going to cry. Yeah. But these guys didn't. It's good TV. And they were told, they were all just like, not for us. Yeah, right. Okay. And these guys were like, sweet, and they left. Then the episode aired, and their ice cream brand went crazy.

Tripled in value overnight. Wow. We were contacted by major distributors to say, I want to stock your low calorie ice cream. And now what? They're everywhere. So now they've had the success and it didn't cost them any part of their company. Just like a little minor embarrassment of being on TV.

No, but it's just the exposure of the whole thing, right? That's why it's so hard to get on that show. That's sometimes, I haven't watched a lot of Shark's Tank or Dragon's Den. I've watched every episode. I'll see them be real mean to somebody and I'm like, well, that was unnecessarily mean. Yeah. And it was kind of like a cool idea for a product. Because wasn't the ring doorbell that Amazon now own,

wasn't that a Shark Tank? Rejection, a Shark Tank rejection. No. Yeah, and the guy stuck with it, and guy or girl, Jamie. I remember the name, Jamie. Could be used for either, couldn't it? And stuck with it, and then, yeah, a few years later, sold it to Amazon for a billion.

A billion? Oh, wow. Would it be a billion dollars? I want one. I want one. To see what's happening at your door? Yeah. Yeah.

Get one. Got a big fence, though. Oh, well. If they get to your door, that's weird. Yeah. You need one on the gate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get one on the gate.

But we want to know when you proved them wrong. Yeah, I love, well. If they get to your door, that's weird. Yeah. You need one on the gate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get one on the gate. But we want to know when you proved them wrong. Yeah, I love, yeah. Because people love these stories. People who have been told they can't do something, they do something, love telling you about it. It's like when a teacher said, you know, people who are told by teachers you'll amount to nothing. Yes, yes.

But sometimes I wonder if the teacher's doing a bit of reverse psychology there. Yeah. I remember one teacher said something quite similar to me, that you'll amount to nothing. And look at me now. I'm a mega celebrity. Huge. Huge deal.

I'm a huge deal. Yeah. I mean, would we say... Mega. Yeah. Celeb. Yeah. I mean, that person the other day did ask for your name.

So I don't know If you'd say Mega celebrity No they were just Trying to keep me humble Because it's important Oh right Yeah of course When you were my level

Of fame Of course yeah But I showed her And it's sweet It's a sweet feeling It is a sweet feeling Proving someone wrong Yeah

Alright well If you've got a similar story We'd love to hear. 0800 DALS at M. You can text as well, 9696. When did you prove them wrong? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

We're talking about when you've proved them wrong, baby. When you got out there and someone told you you couldn't do something, you did it, baby. Yeah. Some lads rejected from the UK TV show Shark Tank. Oh, no, Dragon's Den, as they call it there. Yeah. And now their ice cream company is worth a bajillion dollars.

Well, no, it's not worth a bajillion dollars. Let's say a bajillion dollars. It's a good amount. No, no, no, I think it was that. It's 50 zeros. Bajillions, yeah, yeah. So many bajillions. So I want to know, just those stories when you were told maybe you couldn't do something

or you wouldn't amount to anything. Someone said no and you said, we'll see. Eight months ago. Should we go to the call in case that text message just pops up on the phone? Yes, okay. Abby, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you going?

Good, thank you. We're good, we're good. We're just saying it's been a long week, Abby. It's been a long week. Hasn't it? Hasn't it? But, hey, we've got to round up the week feeling grateful, you know? I love Abby.

This is very positive, Abby. Oh, my gosh. Any other words of affirmation going into the weekend, Abby? Something for the nation. Oh, I feel like I'm a bit under pressure now. Do you have any? Well, you know what they say about pressure, Abby? It makes diamonds.

It makes diamonds. It makes diamonds. There you go. And coal. Doesn't it also make coal? And a bit of coal. And a bit of coal as well. Do you have any motivational words for someone like me who's staring cake and fudge in the face

and is maybe contemplating not going to the gym after work? Oh, look, you deserve it, babe. Oh, I love that. Yes. So wait, don't go to the gym? Yeah, have the cake. There was a fortune cookie on the episode of Bluey

I watched last night. Bingo, cracked open it, a fortune cookie and it was something like a flower may bloom twice but you're only young once. I mean,

it's all about balance. That hit me. It is about balance. With my 41st birthday approaching on Monday, I'm only young once, baby. Eat the cake.

Eat the cake. Eat the cake. I'm too short. So Abby, what's the story? So it's not actually me. It's my little sister. I say little, but she's 28.

Okay. She was born with Down syndrome. And she, I mean, 28 years ago, things were a bit different. They didn't know as much as they know now. But my mum was told she'd never walk. She'd never talk. She'd never go to school, she'd never be part of a regular community, you know. And she finished high school.

She got level one and two NCA without a teacher, eh? Hell yeah. Wow, that's amazing. Yep. She's a St. John's junior cadet, so she teaches other kids. And she actually used to, until the whole COVID thing, she taught the reading recovery program at our old primary school.

Oh my God, I love that. Oh, that's so cool. And told like, you won't do, basically you won't do anything. Pretty much, yeah. And then her and my mum actually recently

with a couple of other ladies have started like a social club in our town for special needs kids once they finish school because it gets quite isolating once they're not in their school environment.

I feel like I want to cry. I've got a little cry in my throat. I've got a little misting of the eye. What a terrible thing to be told. As you say, people didn't know as much back then that people with Down syndrome or disabilities can live very very full lives.

I can only hope that, you know, things are different now for mums that were in my mum's position. Oh, my God, I am. I've got a fizzy nose. I've got a fizzy nose and tears in my eyes. All right, Abby, have a great weekend. Thank you for sharing. And big love to your sister and your mum.

Thank you. You too. See you later. Bye. All right, thanks, Abby. Let's go to Laura. Laura, who did you prove wrong? I think you started reading out my text. So, yeah, eight months ago. Oh, okay. Yeah, who did you prove wrong? I think you started reading out my

text, so yeah, eight months ago. Lucky I stopped. Yeah, eight months ago, sitting at home, just cooked dinner, been with my partner for two years, and he came home and broke up with me out of the blue. Oh, babe! Yeah, so I was

pretty devastated. He said the. Yes, I was pretty devastated. He said the reasons were that I had nothing financially and that I wasn't motivated enough. Oh, my God. Wow, that is brutal. Brutal, yeah. Brutal. So, yeah, five, four, a few months later, I walked a couple of half marathons, lost 16 kilos and almost doubled my salary.

Yes! Yes! Wow, that's a good motivation, eh? Oh my God, I love this. Wow. Has he seen you since? He's seen me around a couple of times and he actually drove past my work one day I was getting into my car, and he literally sped up to get past me quicker. Oh, wow.

You see, he's running from you. Yeah, I would have thrown some money out the window. Yeah, be like, whoopsie-doopsie, dropped it. I need it. Who's poor now, bitch? The best part is I've met someone new, and he's way better and way hotter. Yes! Well, it sounds like the initial guy's way better and way hotter. Yes! Well, it sounds like the initial guy's done you a huge

favour. Yeah. Because if he hadn't broken up with you, do you think you'd still be together? Yeah, we would. We were actually about to start trying for a baby. Laura, Laura, Laura. So it was meant to be, even though those were very harsh break-up words.

Yeah, very. It hurt at the time, but holy hell, Laura's thriving. Thank you. Let's go to another. Lara or Laura? Lara. Lara. Hi.

Hello. Hi. Is it Lara? Yes, it's Lara. Is this Lara Croft Tomb Raider? No. Oh, bugger. She's heard that.

You can tell by that laugh she's heard that. Yeah, my second Oh, bugger. No, she's heard that. You can tell by that laugh she's heard that. Yeah, my second favourite, Lara. Yeah. Lara, when were you told and you proved someone wrong? Um, a couple of years ago, and I proved a lot of people wrong. I was a volunteer firefighter, and I decided to... First thing, can I just, I want to stop now and just say this is a perfect opportunity to say amazing mahi from the firefighters,

both volunteer and professional around the country this week. Absolutely. Who have lost a couple of members of their squadron. Yeah. And I know they're all feeling it because that's a situation that they all find themselves in at regular times. And they put themselves at risk for the community so often and always. We're all running away from it and you're running towards it. It's incredible.

So tip of the hat to everybody. Please carry on and I'm sorry to have interrupted. No, no, that's fine. So I was a volunteer firefighter for a couple of years and I decided to do the Sky Tower Challenge. Oh, running upstairs. I don't have the knees for it. Yes.

Oh, my God, we see it all the time. So I am. While we're on our way to the knees for it. Yes. Oh, my God. We see it all the time. So I am about... While we're on our way to the restaurant to eat, we drink lattes. It's right by our favourite brunch spot. Yeah, I watch them while I'm eating mashed potatoes and cinnamon scrolls and corned beef pastrami.

Oh. So I'm about 53 kilos. Jesus, how much is an oxygen... I was when I was 10 years old too. How much is an oxygen In all the tank and gear Weigh It's about 25 kilos

Oh my god that's half your body So I said I'd do it Now my brigade Was really supportive my family was But when I started fundraising Everyone was like you can't do that Look how tiny you are. You won't be able to make it.

Wow. So to prove them wrong, I trained for nine months. I got down to about 13% body fat and I smashed it and came seventh woman. Whoa. Awesome. And proved them all wrong. If you are a dude listening and being like 13% body fat, for women, holy moly, that is...

Or for anyone, that is insane. Insane. Yeah. I can hear the sun bouncing off her abs from here. It just fuels the fire when someone says they can't do something. Yeah, I like that. That's what you've got to judge when you're about to tell someone they can't do something.

Are they the sort of person that that's going to destroy them or is it the sort of person that's going to motivate them? And unless you're 1,000% sure it's going to motivate them, don't say it. Exactly. Lara, thank you for your call. Some messages in to finish. Emma messaged in,

I got a hot dog as a Christmas present at age 11. You know, the ones that you tow behind the boat. The local petrol station with the air compressor was closed on Christmas morning, and everyone said I wouldn't be able to blow it up myself but I did. I nearly fainted. I nearly fainted

but I did it. Wow, stubborn too. You don't let anyone tell you you can't do that. Yeah. When I went to primary school in class you had to stand up

and say what you wanted to be when you grew up. When it got to me I stood up and the teacher said oh let me guess leaning against the shovel playing the fool.

Oh. Wow. Now look, shout out to teachers a lot of them are good but holy moly. oh let me guess leaning against the shovel playing the fool oh wow now look shout out to teachers a lot of them are good but holy moly some people shouldn't be teachers some people shouldn't what are they though now

are they playing the fool I know they said they're doing quite well they're living comfortably yeah hell yeah I'm fairly certain they earn more than a teacher oh yeah okay

but it's not about you know it's about job satisfaction it's about happiness more more more I want more I want more these are great I know this is really giving me a good day Oh, yeah, okay. But it's not about, you know, it's about job satisfaction. It's about happiness. More, more, more. I want more. I want more.

These are great, aren't they? I know. This is really giving me a good day. My awful ex shut down my dreams of being an early childhood educator for years. As soon as we broke up, I moved cities, completed my bachelor's in education, and now that is what I do. Hell, yeah. I'm an early childhood educator. Back in the late 90s I invented music streaming

While stoned I said to somebody Someone should have a server On it with music That you can play over A digital cell network Kind of like a phone call Instead of having to take

Our music everywhere My friends laughed And somebody else Beat me to it But I mean They had the idea Is what they're saying This is classic stoner banter

Yeah Yeah Yeah You're really good idea Great idea is what they're saying. This is classic stoner banter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're really good idea. Great idea. I'm an early childhood educator. Why are so many people telling early childhood educators

they can't be early childhood educators? But I was told by an employee, my employer, that I didn't deserve a pay rise because I was too lazy. I left that job the next day and went to a job where the employer offered me $5 an hour more than I was on.

I now work in a kindergarten working my lazy ass off being paid more than she would have ever paid me or any of the other teachers. Good. That's just a bad boss. Love that story. I love that story so much. Yeah.

Thank you so much for sharing. You've made, yeah, wow. Oh, can we read this one? When I was in my mid-20s, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. After having a bone marrow transplant I was told I'd never have children. I said, watch me. Six months later I was pregnant. My daughter is now

17 years old. What a good... Your ovaries showed them. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's the final rankings Well, it's a Friday tradition.

We rank things. Last week we did Food Court Foods. Indian won, didn't it, last week? Yeah, more curry. Yeah, more curry. Delicious. I might have more curry today. You feeling it, are you?

Yeah. Okay. Why not? Feeling a stodgy butter chicken? Yeah. It's always a naan. The naan's the best bit. Yeah, I want a microwave naan and a bit of stodge.

Okay, no, no, no. We're not here to talk about that. No. We're not going to very important cakes today. Cakes. Can you, what is, is this a Costco cake? This is a Costco cake. And from now on, do you know, I bought my wife a ridiculously large cake from Costco.

As a joke? As a gag. Yeah. But it's been a nice cake. We've been eating a lot of cake. Well, it's a good cake. It's a pretty large cake from Costco. As a joke. As a gag. Yeah. But it's been a nice cake. We've been eating a lot of cake. It was a good cake. It's a pretty good cake. It's like a sponge cake with a raspberry cream fill.

Now, the icing is a bit sickly, so I scraped that off. But the sponge and the fill is pretty good. Because for me, I would say sponge cake is the bottom. Absolute bottom. Dry. I only got it for the unicorn. Unless you're going to make it into a lamington, a lamington or a trifle, don't come around here with a sponge cake.

But sponge is reliant on cream. One of the other ones they had at Costco was a two and a half kg chocolate mud cake. Now, would you like that for your birthday? Absolutely not. Are you saying that because it's your birthday on Monday? Would you like that for your birthday? I don't want it for my birthday. I could go without cake on my birthday, to be totally honest.

This could be a controversial call, but I find mud cakes too much. Oh, no, they're my go-to chocolate cake. I love mud cakes. Really? I'm always going to get a mud cake. Okay, here's my number one for final rankings. Banana cake with lemon icing. With lemon icing? No, banana

cake has chocolate icing. No, lemon. I'm keen on both. A really delicious, moist banana cake with lemon icing. No, banana cake has chocolate icing. No lemon. I'm keen on both. A really delicious moist banana cake with lemon icing. Yep. Carrot cake is definitely not in my top three. You're a son of a bitch, I'll say. We hate you. It's too meh.

It's too meh. Should we make our own show? Yes. It'll be called the carrot cake show. Welcome to the carrot cake show. Stop trying to make me eat vegetables. I'm having cake today. No, it's not about the carrot.

The carrot simply adds moisture. And I know there's olive oil in there, and I don't like that in a cake either. Grow up. Are we doing cupcakes? No. No, because you still have to decide what flavour. And then where do we draw the line? Muffins included in this?

That's madness. Are we including cheesecake? No. Okay. No, those are cheesecake. It's got to be a proper baked cake. Just banana. That's all I want.

What's your second and third? I don't like any other cakes. Oh, my God. You don't like any sort of chocolate cake? I don't like a chocolate cake. What about like a Black Forest cake? Okay, yes, a Black Forest. Okay, Black Forest 2. Like a light chocolate with berries all through it. That's why I like it because it's a chocolate cake. What about like a Black Forest cake? Okay, yes, a Black Forest. Okay, Black Forest 2.

Like a light chocolate with berries all through. That's why I like it because it's a bit lighter. I've never had one of those. Yum. Of course you haven't. Where do you get those? Because you're like, oh, just have a carrot cake. Yeah, have a carrot cake every time.

Always have a carrot cake. Or if I see one, I'll get it. I'll eat it. What about a ginger loaf? Oh, that's a loaf, isn't it? That's a loaf. But technically it's a cake, isn't it? It's a ginger cake.

Well, you could say ginger cake. I'll say ginger cake. This is... Every week. What is wrong with you? Every week. Such a piece of trash. Carrot cake, number one.

Here's my carrot cake. I'm a man of the people. It's got to be full of stuff. Hell yeah. I want a textured carrot cake. I want walnuts on top. You want it jiggling. It's got to be jiggling on the plate.

It's got to be super moist. It's got to be real thick. It's got to have a ton of cream cheese icing on it. Like half and half. Yeah. Spicy as well. Yes, spicy. Spicy cake.

Here's where I'm going to throw you a curveball that you're not going to see coming. My second, fruitcake. Oh, my goodness. I love fruitcake. Who do you want to be friends with now more? Should we make our own show? Should we make our own show? Yeah, the gingerloaf show.

It's called fruitcake is gross. Fruitcake rules. Yuck! The heavier, the better. Yuck! The thicker and moister, the better. Are you an 80-year-old lady? I might be.

I love fruitcake. This guy's an arse. Like so stodgy and thick, it's like a Steve's pudding. Go live in a Ryman. Yum. Yeah, you're yuck. Maybe they have fruitcake and carrot cake when I go to a Ryman. And third, banana cake.

Okay. Not just one of those light and flat. It still needs a bit of something. Got to have some density to it. Got to have density. Got to have moisture. Number one for me, carrot cake. It goes without saying.

All the things that Vaughan said apply. Yep. Number two, I'm going lemon drizzle. Oh, yeah. Like a nice lemon cake with a sort of, yeah, poppy seed, lemon, and then like a drizzle icing. So not a full icing, it's a drizzle. Yeah, yeah, lemony icing sugar drizzle.

Yeah. And number three, I see your banana cake and I raise you a hummingbird. What's a hummingbird? So a hummingbird is a pineapple and banana. Oh, get out. So it's like a carrot cake, met a banana cake, but instead of carrot, it's pineapple banana. Pineapple banana cake. Should we have our own shot?

Yeah. It's got pecans in it. Oh, no. Okay, I'm on board. No. Hummingbird. I'm on board with it. Is there like an upside down cake?

Well, carrot cake can't be number... No, no, it's very... Upside down cake's more of a pudding than it is on board. No. Hummingbird. I'm on board with it. Is there like an upside down cake? Well, carrot cake can't be number one. Upside down cake's more of a pudding than it is a cake. Oh, what about a steamed pud? No, that's a pudding. No, it's a pudding. It doesn't even have cake in the title. I mean, there's always room for a bit of pud. But you can't say always room for a bit of pud.

Don't say, what about steamed pud? That's pudding. Okay, here's cake's number one. If we're going overall, we all had banana. Well, mine's fancy banana. She had hummingbird. Carrot too? Carrot, I think, is one.

Banana two. Okay. Fruitcake third. No. I nearly swore. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, I hold on my hand

Huh? Hello Hey Carry on What? What? What's happening? Okay, we all kissed in the song

It's all good now It's all good now We just had an error We made out a little bit And now it's just strange It was an accident It was an accident It just happened

The song got away with us It happened I have a Wow, the tension Wow letter here from the New Zealand Transport Agency, Wakakatahi, Palmerston North office, private bag 11777 Palmerston North 4442. Do they print all of our licences in Palmerston North? They must do. Amazing.

And then it is addressed to H.J. Sproul. Shall I read your address? Yep, do it. must do. Amazing. And then it is addressed to H.J. Sproul. Shall I read your address? Yep, do it. A D-er. You're not one of these people that gets their home address printed on their license. Absolutely not. People that do that, I'm always like, are you? I'm going to move.

Yeah, you're going to move. Or like, do you want someone to find your wallet and then go rob your house? Yeah. So I got my photo taken and I told everyone that I don't think the shoot went well. I don't know what the photo's going to look like. So I didn't want to open it. So I want you to open it and Vaughn, you

say first what you make of it. Couldn't be any worse than my photo shoot. Yeah, but yours was funny. I can't help but notice on the bottom here it does talk about alcohol limits for drivers. Oh, don't can't help but notice on the bottom here, it does talk about alcohol limits for drivers. Oh, don't show it.

It's on the back. I have a hand over it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's laughing. He's laughing. That's not good, is it?

It's perfectly fine. It's perfectly fine. Oh, Vorn. It's perfectly fine. It's just. Oh, Fletch, no. It's perfectly fine. It's perfectly fine, but I just know. There is an issue.

Can we get some of the producers in on the guest mic here? It's perfectly fine. Vorn, would you like to hold it over to the producers? What do you mean? It's fine. And then if they could just one by one just look at the card and then just say what you see. Oh, my God.

No, that one doesn't work. Go to number two. Okay, sorry, sorry. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's a photo. It's perfectly fine.

Oh, no. I think they've tried to add some colour. What? Yeah, so I think the lighting has really... It's just terrible cameras. Jared, what do we think? Producer Jared? I've never recognised that tan line in person. Oh no!

So I think what's happened is that the flash has kind of accentuated the colour in your hair which is like a brownie orange and has made it almost like fluoro orange. I knew I was getting it done.

This ginger here was a temporary thing. None of that I noticed. It's the smile that really... I've got a bong smile. My eye goes small. No, no. The eye is no bong smile. The eye is not a problem. The bong smile. Your smile is a very teethy

smile. It's because I've got apple cheeks. It's pushed your chippy mouth cheeks up. It's because I was doing like a normal face and he said, smile, and I went. It's perfectly fine. Okay, so I'm going to pass you your licence now. Would you like to tell us what you think?

I'm so bad. It's perfectly fine. Oh, it's so bad. It's perfectly fine. Oh, no. Oh, no. You are your own harshest critic. Oh, it's bad, guys. It's perfectly fine. Oh.

Oh, no. Oh, it's bad. You're going to be, I'm 40. I'm 43. Why did I have my hair half up? Because then it looks like what's hanging down is so thin. I'm a donor, though. Well, all is forgiven.

Yeah. You're a donor. Some poor bastard is going to me my ugly organs. There's been a study in the UK that looks at the communication of new couples. Now, how long do you think it takes for new couples to sort of pull back on the communication? And get sick of each other. And get sick of each other,

like not texting every hour. Six months, three months. 11 months. 11. Yeah. So lovebirds in a new relationship on average spend 41 minutes on the phone a day. On the phone. Do they live together?

Not probably not. No, not this early on. Talking on the phone. And then it drops within 11 months. And then by the two year mark, 24 months, you've got just 19 minutes a day. I don't talk to Aaron on the phone

for 19 minutes a day. We're very short. Unless I'm driving and we're both bored. Sometimes we just call and be on the phone. One in three people in new relationships

Constantly check their phone for messages And I remember that When you're like Why hasn't he messaged? I might put it on loud I'll go airplane mode on and off Maybe I've missed it I might charge it up

I might send myself a message Just to make sure the messages are coming through Hey could you just call me to test that it's ringing? Yeah I might charge it up. I might send myself a message just to make sure the messages are coming through. Hey, could you just call me to test that it's ringing? Yeah. I might go to Apple. I think I need a new phone. This one's broken. Oh, there he is.

Oh, he's busy. But I wanted to know because I remember this feeling, especially before I got together with Aaron. When I was the one who was like, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text, text. Yeah. And then like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Which as I hear it now, it's quite desperate, isn't it?

We would call that. But even with Aaron now, like Aaron is not a tech guy. So I have my phone on my person probably 80% of the day. Aaron will have it by the bed where he woke up with it and he won't really look at it. He's just not interested.

Oh, my God. It's called a mobile phone. Yeah, it's mobile. Because of its mobility. But why doesn't he leave it in his pocket? He doesn't want to be easily contactable. So when I... He's got a bloody phone in those pockets of those short shorts.

Oh, my God, there's no room. Those little stubbies. There's absolutely no room. Those little stubbies. But when I no room. Those little stubbies. But when I call him, I always say to myself, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Yeah. This is the voicemail of Aaron.

I always say, why do you have a phone? Why have a phone? So does he have a thousand messages of you like, God, why don't you have, why do you have a phone? No, I just hang up. But I wanted to know if maybe this is something in your relationship, be it new or quite well established, if there is an imbalance in your communication.

Maybe you are the Aaron in this and you just get bombarded by texts from your partner or your girlfriend or the person you're dating and you don't reciprocate. I was going to say, can a relationship like that work? But it does. Yeah, surely. You haven't been together forever. How do you manage it? I was going to say can a relationship like that work but it does yeah surely you've been together

forever how do you manage it or maybe you're the one who just constantly wants to be on the phone and then your partner is the one who just puts it on speakerphone

and walks away and does his business again I come back to Aaron when I finally get hold of him you get yapping and he gets I can hear it because the texture

in the room changes and I start to hear he will literally like start a like a drill yeah the annoying thing is though it's the texture in the room changes and I start to hear clomping. He will literally like start a drill. Yeah. The annoying thing is though, it's the same if you're texting friends or whoever and you message them about something.

You're like, hey, maybe you're trying to organise a group thing and you need them to say they're coming or not, whatever. And they don't reply. Are you talking about Matty McLean? Yes, I'm talking about Matty McLean. Matty McLean is the world's worst communicator. He's the worst at messaging back. If he put half as much effort into messaging people back

as he does bloody going on Celebrity Treasure Islands, we'd all be better off for the communications. How many islands does he need? How many islands has that man been to? How many times? Maybe this is you. You're in a friendship that is like this and you just have that one friend who is utterly impossible.

He's cried on TV more times than he's messaged me back. But he's always on his phone. It's the other thing. When you're with them, they're always on their phone. Just message back, you're always on your phone. That's what we want to know. Is there a little bit of imbalance in the communication of your relationship?

We want to know if the communication in your relationship, be it by phone, text, messenger, email, whatever way you choose to communicate is out of balance. Because there are some stats that show as relationships go on, so does the immediacy of responding to text. So after 11 months is the magic apparently cutoff date. Where you're like, I've got him now. Yeah.

I don't need to respond. We don't need to talk all the time. Yeah. I'm out. So is there Yeah. I don't need to respond. We don't need to talk all the time. Yeah. I'm out. So, is there an imbalance? Tony, good morning. Kia ora. Now, how long have you been with your partner?

We've been together for 23 years. 23. Oi! Wow. Right. And so, how is it out of whack then? And it's always been this way, but I will send a massive text message. And I always, you know, slightly novel-like, but that's okay.

And it's always explaining what we're doing on the weekend and getting his confirmation if everything's okay. And I always get either a K, just a letter, K, or, yep. Sometimes I get a thumbs up. It's like my mum, no matter what I say, I could write a novel to her and it's a thumbs up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parents are really good at that, eh? No matter what. Yep.

Yeah. It takes them so long to type. I know. But at least you're getting that K or okay. Are you getting it straight away? No, I'm getting it straight away. I'd rather nothing. I'm the same. Don't bother. I know.

Is he just a man of few words, though? He is, he is. I'm used to it now, but every now and then it's like, oh. Early in the relationship, you'd be like, does he even like me? Yeah, I know, I know. We didn't have mobiles back in the early in the relationship. And it would have cost you a fortune to send too many texts in the early days. 20 cents per. 20 cents per.

20 cents to say, okay. Yeah, 20 cent, okay. You should introduce them to the world of voice memos. We love a voice memo on this show. Love sending each other a voice memo. I'll see how I go with that. Just a little tip, little dating tips as well. All right.

Thank you, Tony. Some messages in. Someone said, my husband's useless, All right, thank you, Tony. Some messages in. Someone said, my husband's useless, never answers, never replies to texts. My phone is my life, his not so much.

I love using the term useless when it describes people. Useless. But then we're also, all of us alike, we know how bad our phones are and we want to be able

to do this and step away. No, I know step away, but you still need to be able to be contacted. Someone said, I'm the No, I know step away, but you still need to be able to be contacted. Someone said, I'm the opposite. I can have a full day of conversations whilst I'm at work with my partner through my phone

via messaging. And then when we're together at home, there's almost nothing left to talk about. So sometimes we just sit there quietly. I've sort of said it all. Amanda, there's an imbalance, communication imbalance? Yeah, just a little bit, you know? It's been three years and still wants to talk every day about kind of what goes on every minute.

Wait, you do or they do, your partner? My partner does, yeah. Is that cute though? Well, it's cute when he wants me to call him, but then it's like, hey, how are you? Oh yeah, my day's going good. All right, love you, bye. Like, what is the point?

I love you, bye. What, what is the point? I'm going to get home. Oh, I love you, bye. What a terrible thing for someone to say. No. No, but he could just wait until she's home. I kind of get what you're saying. We've lived together for two and a half years now. Like, I know I'm going to see him and tell him about the day, you know? I love this.

He's just ruining the end of the conversation for the end of the day. Yeah, you're okay. Yeah. Exactly. We have nothing to talk about then. Yeah. No, I end of the day. You're okay. Yeah. Exactly. We have nothing to talk about then. Yeah. No, I sort of get this. I love the idea of someone calling you all day and saying pointless stuff

and then you come home and you've got nothing left to say. Exactly. Leave the gossip for the end of the day. Leave me wanting more. Did I tell you about? Yeah, you've told me. You told me, yeah. No, no, we've been through this.

I was on the phone while it was happening. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. Amazing, Amanda. Thank you. More messages. My husband and I have been together for 13 years since we were 15 years old and still call

each other at least six times a day to catch up. Still obsessed with each other, love heart. Aww. My husband is useless, never answers or replies to texts. Lots of husbands wearing it here. Useless is being tossed around a bit.

Would you use the word useless, Bronwyn? Definitely. Your partner? What happened? Yep. So birth of our second son. And, yep, so I had been in hospital for the previous night. And he decided to go home because nothing was happening in that.

And then all of a sudden, 8 o'clock the next morning, things were a full go. And, yep, so midwife was ringing husband. And, yep, nothing at all in that. And, yeah, he missed the birth. Oh, my God. So he went home knowing you were in hospital with the possibility of giving birth

and still didn't keep his phone on and loud and near him and ready to answer. It was probably on the charger. So he told me that the phone was beside the bed and that and yeah,

so, and he was all ready to go and that, but no, the phone, I don't know where the phone was but yeah. Maybe he was watching a video.

And it keeps annoying him and then he just swipes it away. Swipes it away. Get out of here. Exactly. Yeah. Who's just annoying me? I swipes it away? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Who's just annoying me? I'm trying to sleep.

So, yeah. Oh, no. All right, Bronwyn, thanks for your call. A couple of messages to finish. God, there's so many. I'm just trying to find the one where the man's not the problem. Oh, my new boyfriend wants to be in constant contact. It drives me crazy.

I very much need me time and I do have kids. Do you think that, how do you say that to your boyfriend without hurting his feelings? Yeah. How do you say it? I don't know. I'm just looking to send them the fingers, flipping the bird to my mum because she sent me a thumbs up.

I'm the Aaron for all my friends. I can't be bothered. I never even open messages and my phone is always on silent. If you leave a voice message, I might check it, but it'll take days to reply. I just can't be bothered. I always have my phone on me. What a pain in the arse I am.

Yes, I'm glad you realised that. Oh, my God, they're a Maddie McLean. It's great to self-identify as a Maddie McLean. Yeah, absolute, you know, MM. Yeah, yeah, you're a bloody MM. You're the full MM. Play. Sid M's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Mid-doop breath from you there. Yeah, I didn't mid-doop breathe at this time. He's got long COVID. Leave him alone. Yeah. Today's ne.

Today's ne. Ne. Today's, well, actually, that's interesting I say ne. Okay. As today's fact of the day is the Irish language is a language without words for yes or no. Huh? There's no yes. One singular yes.

What do they say then? They reply with an affirmation of the question you've just asked them. So if I was to say to you, would you like to go for a drink? I would like to drink. That's how I would reply. There's so many words. I know. So many words

Yes What about just be like Yeah No yes No yes You always reply in the Positive or negative Affirmation

So what if I'm in Ireland Because I haven't travelled there yet But what if I go You don't speak Irish So you just speak English And they'll understand that But there is still an Irish language Yes

Yeah but can I say yes You can say yes But you've changed language You've say yes because they speak English. You've changed language. You're speaking English now. Right. Phew. But any question like,

do you understand? You reply, I understand. Yeah. Yeah, well, I do not understand. Wow. Yeah, there's no like simple

yes or no. Would you like water? Yes. I would like water. She gets the water. So I don't get water because you don't understand. I would like water. She gets the water. I don't get water because you don't understand. I don't understand. What if I was shaking my head?

I was like... Well, then, yes, I guess you are positively affirming. Yeah. Okay. With a sign, but there's no short, interesting little word that you can chuck out that's like, I've heard what you said, I've processed it, specifically...

Acknowledged. Acknowledged. Right. It've processed it. Specifically. Acknowledged. Acknowledged. Right. It's so formal. Would you like to go for a walk in the park? I would like to go for a walk in the park. Yes, full reply. Is that the door?

It is the door. So many words. Do they have like an Irish version for like, yeah, boy? No, yeah, boys. No, yeah, boys? Yeah. Because I guess yeah, boy is a yes. So today's fact of the day is the Irish language,

one of the Celtic languages. Gaelic languages? No, Celtic languages. Sure. Sure. You're telling us, mate. Your fact, bro. Yes, it is your fact.

My fact it is indeed. Irish Gaelic. Yes. Okay, yeah. Irish Gael it is indeed. Irish Gaelic. Yes. Okay, yeah. Irish Gaelic. It is Irish Gaelic. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Play Zip. Letletch for the daily. Play ZM. Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy. It's so rich and good. Yummy, yummy, a segment of the show where we took a look at new food trends, new food items hitting the shelves. Yeah, yeah, shelves and Whittakers

have done it again. Another flavour. You can always count on Whittakers for another flavour. God, it's good, isn't it? They don't stop. It's the best. Now this will tickle you because you're a bit of a burnt white chocolate fan. We call it your blondie or caramel.

I'll tell you what's a good one. It's the Milky Bar Gold. Oh, far out. Did you need white chocolate for this guy? Nestle. It's a good one. It's good. Okay.

It's good. Well, you know how Whittaker's does Berry Biscuit? Well, that's one of my favourites. Yeah. That's real young. Turn your mic on. To move my mic and then if I turn it back on. Do we have to teach him everything about radio here?

It's his first year. Give him a break. It is, it is. Can I just say I'm really enjoying my internship? You're doing well. I feel like it's going okay. Do you think that'll keep me on at the end of it? Not sure.

Maybe because you're quite cheap. Very cheap. Yeah, so maybe. You're free, aren't you? But I make a lot of costly mistakes. Yes. Keep me on so now the new one is limited edition yeah blondie and biscuit okay so it's it's caramelized white chocolate yeah with cocoa biscuits oh so it's a dark biscuit not like a like a plain white biscuit. Like a white wine, yeah. Super wine. Super wine.

White wine and chocolate. Yum. Blondie and Sav, how good would that be? Oh, you've been triggered, have you? Oh, there's an idea. I think this would be a good mix. The white chocolate and the biscuit. I don't white chocolate.

I just don't. It's not real chocolate. Unless it's Lindt. Don't be that person. Unless it's the Lindt balls. Oh yeah, they do a Don't be that person. Unless it's the Lindt balls. Oh, yeah, they do a good ball, don't they? The white chocolate Lindt balls are so good. Friend of the show James' mum made some fudge.

Now, what's the story with this? How do you make that? Well, it's like a Russian fudge, but it's called something else. Because it's not quite Russian, is it? It's delicious, though, isn't it? Just like a fudge. Yeah. Sugar fudge. Right. But it's not white Russian, is it? It's delicious though, isn't it? Just like a fudge. Yeah. Sugar fudge.

Right. But it's not white chocolate. No. No. Is it sweetened condensed milk? Yes. Like vanilla fudge. There's a lot of that.

Can you not taste that? No, no, no. I couldn't taste anything. As soon as it hit my mouth, the sugar just took over the party, you know? Yeah, my teeth hurt. So is this out soon, this new Whittaker's flavour? I'd imagine soon, if we're getting a press release, or now. Oh, they're doing the supermarket has...

Oopsie doopsie, we put it on our website. Oh, no one's believing that anymore. No one believes it anymore. No one believes that. But it's worked, hasn't it? Because we're talking about it. It launches on Monday. Monday. Monday is the day. Fat cats.

Fat dogs. I love them. You got your dog, didn't you, Vorney? Because he was a bit fat. Oh, he was a chonky.

He's a chonky boy, our Richie. Chonky pup. He's a chonky boy. The rescue retriever. Yep. And you had to put him on a little diet.

Yep. It's terrible. He's still got terrible manners. When it comes to eating. That's, yeah. Does he put his elbows on the table too? Oh my God, so rude. Elbows off the table.

Elbows off the table. And when you say Richie, he goes, what? Yeah. Don't say what, you say pardon. Or yes. You remember what it was like being a teenager. I don't. Give them a break.

But we've all had this, right? You go over to your friend's house or they bring their dog to something, you go, holy moly, that's a chonky wee dog. Yeah. Like, you know people that have, it's always like the pugs or like the Frenchies. Yeah. And they're all fat and they can't breathe. Or the Labradors or the Retrievers that get to like 10

and they're wider than they are tall. Do you know what our vet told us? That's how you can tell if your cat needs to lose a bit of weight. If you look down and their body gets wider in the middle than it does towards the butt and the neck, you need to lose some weight. And if you can't feel their ribs, eh? Yeah.

You never win with these vets, though. Too fat. Too skinny. Too fat. Feed them all. Feed them all. It is the dentist equivalent of, oh, you're not flossing every day.

You don't need to floss. You don't. I brush. Yeah. The little bristles get between their teeth. They're just trying to save your floss. What are you talking about brushing? Are you talking about flossing your own teeth?

Yeah, I don't floss. I think you're talking about flossing animals' teeth. No, I'm kidding. I do floss. I do floss. Shout out. Lumino's listening. Oh, are they? Yeah, we do the Hygienist yesterday for good teeth. Yeah, I don't floss. I think you're about to floss an animal's teeth. I do floss. I do floss. Shout out. Lumino's listening.

Oh, are they? Yeah, I went to the hygienist yesterday for good teeth. Shout out to floss. Shout out to floss. You don't need floss anymore because you've got the sandblasting hygiene. No, but you've got to

floss at home still. I thought you had the water jet at home. I do. Oh, yeah, that thing. Yeah, I've got... You've got what? You hold it to your mouth

and you've got to... You hold what? For people who literally just tuned in and heard you go, oh, yeah. You hold it to your mouth and you've got a You hold what? For people who literally just tuned in and heard you go Oh yeah You hold it to your mouth because it all like comes in the mouth

and then comes out She's talking about a water blaster she's got for her teeth Yeah If you just It's a mess What a terrible opportunity

to join the show there I do apologize Anyway Also that may be uncomfortable Can we drop that down? Drop that down In the HR journal Drop that down

So this vet has shared some tips on if you see your friend's fat cat. Stop looking at me. I'm just straight up. You're part of the show. I don't want to direct it all to Vaughn. He's also got pets. Yeah, but his. I've got two.

Well, I've got one, our ginger possum who's a bit chunky. Solid. But since the second one's turned up, he's a real greedy guts. But he's still got that kitten metabolism. So he's going to be as big and the older boys slow down a little bit. And your other dog, I mean, I wouldn't say anything about. Lulu. Lulu.

She's never been fat. No, exactly. And you lost your tabby Anakin, didn't you? You still want to talk about that? I'm not ready to talk about that. So they wanted to give some advice that if you see your friend's fat pet, how to sort of bring it up with them. Now, obviously, depending on the relationship,

you might be close enough that you could just say, oh, dude. You got a fat puss there? I'll use your cat. Sort it out. Shabby. I'll use your cat's name just because, you know. As an example.

I could say, oh, my God. Fletch. Major Mars. It's fat ass. Aw. PH. You might want to take it to the vet. Okay.

So we could be close enough that I could do that. Yeah. But if not, you might want to soften the blow. Maybe don't say, ho, mama. How does that fit through the cat door? That's a chonky puss. You have to say, you might want to, you don't want to call them out because it makes them feel like maybe they're an irresponsible pet owner. Yeah.

So if you're not close, best to clear away from statements about the pet. Your pet is fat. Perhaps go for an anecdote about another animal in your life or bring up their topic in a more general way. Oh, like completely unrelated. I knew some people that had a really fat cat and it died because of its own weight. Yeah. It couldn't hold itself up.

Oh man, your cat's so cute. Our cat used to look like that. He was so big we used to have to flip him over when he got too hot by the heater. And you go, okay, maybe they're talking about me. When you said it died because it couldn't hold its own weight up, was it doing like a cat in the tree hang in there? But it was like, oh, Jesus.

And it just fell off the branch instead. Yeah. So you might, and then they said the best advice is to maybe suggest they go and see a vet. Or you could recommend some of these simple, not judgmental tips. Okay. So I might say, oh, man, Vaughn. Yes. Richie's put on a little bit of weight recently.

He looks so cute. Have you ever thought about keeping a pet diary, though? You can't say he's put on weight, it looks cute. You can't positive the negative. What's so light at 8.58? A pet diary. You're like half a tennis ball and a tux biscuit. But we know how much our dogs get fed.

I measure it out. Hey, Lulu, I just noticed Lulu's got a bit of know how much our dogs get fed. I measure it out. Oh. Hey, Lulu. I just noticed Lulu's got a bit of an ass on her at the moment. I wish she did. She's so skinny. I know with Rolly, I choose to show him love in different ways. She looks like Skeletor a little bit. Hey, guys, we've just received a message from the producer's booth that says,

hey, can you do this liner before punching out? Everyone's been trying to do secret look at your computer things. We're just chatting about cats, guys. I'll tell you about this. ZM, that's us. No, you don't do these very well. ZM brings you P! NK! That's how pink spells pink.

A little bit different there. We're buying tickets in an hour. On the Summer Carnival World Tour. Now, you'll be thinking, Vaughn, I've got no time to buy tickets for March 5th. But it's March 5th, 2024. That's a Tuesday night at Forsyth Bar Stadium in Dunedin. Yes. That Friday, March the 8th.

Again, I'll reiterate, 2024 at Eden Park in Auckland. Helen Clark will be outside telling you all to keep it down. Shut up! Tickets on sale. Peter's trying to sleep. Oh, quiet! Pink. That's a good Helen Clark.

No, that's not it. No, she's more like, oh, be quiet. That was a good Helen Clark. For God's sake, just be quiet, would you? That's a good Helen Clark. And look after each other. Tickets go on sale Friday the 17th of February By my watch

Today Yeah 10 o'clock Is when they go on sale Head to ZM online For more info And information Yep Keep ZM loud

All weekend Long To win Tickets to pink All weekend Long To be in To win tickets to pink

This is Please send these things to me In the future not Vaughn. Yeah. See what's happened here? So you've had a really amateur read of the liner. So that's a very professional read. But yeah, get your Pink tickets today.

See, you could have just done it in that. Get your Pink tickets. Yeah, I know. And we're like, oh, go to this website. You can go to ZM online or you can probably just Google it. Yeah. Pink tickets. It's more of a natural kind of a way to say it.

Do you know what I mean? Just more natural and sort of like with the people. Just nice and easy. I just think it was an announcement. Georgia, listen to Georgia in the afternoon. Now she's miming at me through the window. She's got tickets to give away. Yeah.

Starting at... Back to back pink. She's got back to back pink songs at 12. Is that why you're wearing a pink t-shirt today, Fletch? Yes, it is. Fantastic. Oh my God. The stars are aligning.

Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Review it five stars, tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know.

Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants.

Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.