ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 17th January 2022

Episode Date: January 16, 2022

Someone is freshly Single  Executive Producer Anna broke something iconic  Vaughans Watch  Top 6: Toyota Aqua  Producer Jared got Caught  Hayleys Neighbours  Rate this Guy  Don't get Fletch Started!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's. First podcast for 2022. Yep. Welcome back.

Yep. Are you going to take the sticker off your hat? I was wondering when you'd notice. Is that the dumb thing? I don't know hat etiquette. It lets people know it's official. I don't really care. I left it on initially because my wife told me I'm not a 17-year-old

and I need to take the sticker off. And I said, I'll show you. And so that's why the sticker's still on there. So what have you got going underneath? There's another thing. That's the official sticker Oh take that off Doesn't that distract your eye line?

On the brim? Uh no It's too far back I think Oh yeah Yeah Right Are you worried about though If you take it off too late

It'll be sun faded There'll be a little Like a dark dot Not exactly sure on that Right How about this though Um The people who make this hat

Mitchell and Ness. I always ordered them online and then they changed the names of all their hats. It's still called Mitchell and Ness but the old one was called like a 110 snapback. Now I knew that's a good hat because I've got a deep head. Very deep. Deep in the head? Got a deep head, got a long head

funny shaped big head. 63 centimetres around about circumference. She's girthy. That's girthy. Yeah, it's a girthy head. Your poor mother. So, well, apparently she slipped out. Well, that's something that she used the barbecue tongs for Vaughan.

No, I didn't. I was tongueless. I slipped out. You were tongueless. I've always known my way around a vagina. I have always been. She nearly sneezed. I started life by exiting a vagina and my mother barely felt a thing.

And ever since, I've just been going into vaginas and woman are barely feeling a thing. That's my whole, that's my, regardless of this. I went out the sunroof. Oh, did you? You're a sunroof man. I put the feet up. I was like, no. Wow.

I'm not trying to put a cat in a box. My mum had a glass of champagne and I went, yep, I'm out. I got the whiff and I've never quite shaken it off. Right, and that's why you can't do basic maths. Yeah. But I found this in my hometown of Morrisville. Oh, okay. And it fit my head, so now I know what I can order online.

Because I didn't want to order another one online in case it was the wrong hat. It's a good looking hat. It's a nice hat. Wait, remove the sticker. You look stupid. Do you think take the sticker off? Yeah. What about this sticker

Oh yeah Do it right up close That's some real ASMR Isn't it That is Go right up close To the mic Oh my god

I love this And you've got a big Black mark there now Because you've had A lot of sun on that horn Maybe put it back on No it's a relatively new hat No it's a real dark dot now

But it'll come right. It'll come right. It's probably just a little bit dusty if anything. How dark? Have a look. Oh, that's minimum. That will have sorted itself out by the end of the day. Okay, now the under sticker.

I'm leaving that one on. So people know you've got official merchandise. I'm a fish. Okay. Do you remember starter hats in the 90s? If they didn't have how many? Remember on the peak there was the rows of stitching? It's like I had the knockoff Adidas tracksuit.

They had four stripes. And everyone called me poor. Because we were. Well, no, you had one third more stripes than them, so they can suck it. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

It's two minutes past six. We're back. Happy New Year. We're back. Bad start. It to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. We're back. Happy New Year. We're back. Bad start already. It's way too late for Happy New Year. It's way too late for Happy New Year. This is the 17th of Jan. We're closer to Happy Valentine's Day.

Oh! Happy with a... What was the cut-off a week after? Seventh. Okay. Oh, well, stuff you then. Stuff you. Just have a year.

You're in a bad mood because we've everything's gone wrong so far you've got your pass mine doesn't work I can't log into anything I tried to put my headphones on and it slipped out of my hands and punched me in the face I think it was deserved

you get what you put back into the universe you know it's your attitude I just saw something on social media it said hey energy isn't for free

we ain't giving that out for nothing this year I was like this roll roll my eyes I was like, this. Roll. Roll my eyes. I'm like, all right, you just stick to being attractive, all right?

We don't need your philosophy. Free fuel on the show all this week. Z empty tank is back. We're going to do this at 7 and 8 o'clock. Thank God, because fuel is pricey. It's ridiculous at the moment. Also, do I owe you fuel money? I didn't.

Nah. Because we had to drive all the way to Owakuni, Rarahi, for our canoeing. And you just paid at the petrol station. I didn't chip in. I just paid. Fletch, you shouldn't ask. You should just do. I was going to scale it. It should just be a little discreet transfer.

Right. I was going to scale it. You know, if you get a fine in some of the Nordic countries, like if you get a traffic fine, it depends on how much you earn. Yes. It's how much your fine is. Okay. So I was thinking of scaling it for everybody in the car.

So yeah, you owe me $180. Everybody else pretty much rides for free. You could also do it by weight. You know, who was making the car. Okay, so still, you owe me $180. Everybody else rides for free. It's been a big summer, okay? It really has.

It really has. So your chance to win free fuel, listen out for the Activator just before 7 and 8 this morning and all this week to win that free fuel. The top six is on the way, and it's a warning for Toyota Acquire drivers. Well, Toyota Acquire drivers are sitting high and mighty in their ivory tower of hybridness, aren't they?

But it's not all fun and games. Two producers that have Toyota Aquas. They are absolutely flying up the ranks of the most stolen vehicles. Yeah. And someone told

social media expert Carween at the social media desk why Toyota Aquas are being stolen. This blew my mind. Yeah. So the top six

is going to delve into this. It's going to be a deep dive. Deep dive. This blew my mind. Yeah, so the top six is going to delve into this. It's going to be a deep dive. Deep dive. It's coming up. Also, somebody here at work owes the town of Hokitika an apology. A huge apology. We'll get to that soon on the show. A massive scandal.

But very exciting news coming up. A celebrity's on the market. And I'm frothing. Aren't you engaged? Don't need to get bogged down in the details. Some sad news, but I'm going to try to say it without a massive smile on my face. Because Jason Momoa is single. Him and his wife Lisa Bonet have announced their divorce on social media

in a post that I have just noticed has since been removed. Because they were together, how long, did he say 16 years? Something like that, a really, really long time. Yeah, 16. She's 12 years older than him. I've been doing my research. 2005. No, that's 17 years, isn't it, now?

Yes. Well, this is why I said Happy New Year. Oh, yeah. It's a new year. now. Yes. Well, this is why I said Happy New Year. Oh yeah, 2022. But yeah, they announced it saying that everyone's felt the squeeze and the pressure of the pandemic and their family is no different and so they're announcing their split.

But they're doing it in such a cool way like we love each other and we're here to help raise our children together and continue on with love and peace. I think that's just what they call amicable, isn't it? Something like that. It's a conscious uncoupling. Yeah.

He is going to have no trouble, is he? Because my type is Jason Momoa. Okay. If you look at my fiancé, massive. He's tall, isn't he? Hairy, big, beard, gruff, rugged. Knows his way around a tool. Whoa.

Whoa, whoa. And you've been trying to convince your partner to learn Dothraki. I have. He's been doing a little bit of Dothraki. He has. Yeah. Working on the abs. Yeah.

A work in progress. A work in progress indeed. I mean, he is, he is. Jason Barmoa does look like the sort of dude who would leave a wet towel on the floor though, ladies. Yeah. And just like pile up his dirty clothes in the corner of a room. He doesn't look like he's clean. I think he's a little bit of a man baby.

You know, he's so busy in his shed with his tools and his motorbike. That he rides without a helmet on, by the way. Oh, so that's the other thing. You could have to care for him with a head trauma. Yeah. Would you do that? Would I care for Jason Momoa's head trauma? I have to think about it.

How long? It's a big undertaking. How long would you have to be? Is everything else still functional and working and fine? Yeah. Yeah, I'd look after Jason Momoa's head trauma from riding a motorbike without a helmet on. I mean,

I'm giving this all to Jason, but Lisa Bonet is no... I mean, she's a looker too. Well, she's had Kravitz. She's had a Kravitz. That's right. And she's had a Momoa. We're very similar. Me and Miss Bonet. You're like a Kravitz

and a... Yeah. And you were on The Cosby Show. No. Weren't you? No. Weren't you the little girl? No. Oh, that's Raven.

Raven Simone. That would be quite wrong if I was cast in that show. You are New Zealand's Raven Simone. People do say that. So many people say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. That's so Hayley.

I'm really... I'm sad for them, but I'm absolutely stoked for myself. Could you imagine his DMs on Instagram at the moment? Absolutely blowing up, including myself. That's another thing. If we were going to put a bad mark against his name, I think he'd be a terrible replier. No, he's quite Instagram friendly.

No, but I mean, if you were in a relationship with him, you'd text him and he'd see it. And then he'd be like, I'll reply to that soon. And he wouldn't. Yeah. He's like, I caught a wild fish. I got in it with my sword. And then I got a fish all over my hands and I couldn't reply.

There you go. My boy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Summer is in full swing. Are we halfway through? Yep, just over halfway. Don't want to put a downer on it, but autumn's just around the corner. Sucks.

Yeah. We travelled around the corner. Sucks. Yeah. We travelled around the country where we were allowed. That seems weird, eh? It's only been just over a month since Aucklanders were allowed to leave Auckland again, but it kind of feels, yeah, yeah. I went everywhere. I went everywhere. Oh, man, I went up and down the island.

Yeah. Did you have anyone, being from Auckland, did you have anyone like kind of leer at you? Not outwardly, but my mum, I was hanging out with my mum quite a lot over the summer and she kept saying, oh, careful, she's from Auckland. Oh. Patsy.

Don't do that. Oh, don't say that. She's from Auckland. So when you first moved to Auckland, if you're from regional New Zealand and your parents apologise for you being an Aucklander. An Aucklander. Yeah.

But that was pre-COVID. Sorry about this one. He's an Aucklander. Oh, I know. Never mind her. Such a jaffer. Am I right? Yeah.

One birthday, my parents bought me a swan dry, so they took me to the farming store, and then everyone in the farming store, and might as well gather around and laugh at the Aucklander who got a little bit cold. Get cold out there, doesn't mate. I was like, yep. Perhaps not quite as cold as here, but yep.

Just leave me alone and let me buy something. But one Aucklander owes the West Coast community of Hokitika a huge apology. And that is Executive Intern Anya. Good morning. Good morning. Looking, may I say, looking very sun-kissed. Oh, very.

Have you been in the sun? I have, yeah. She's glowing. Oh, stop. Are you wearing J-Lo glow? I'm not. I reckon I've got about three new freckles, so I'm going to call that a win.

Congrats, babe. They'll join up soon, and it just looks like a beautiful bronze tan. That's what I'm waiting for. But only on, like, the top of my arms. Yeah, yeah. That's it,'m waiting for. But only on like the top of my arms. Yeah, yeah. That's it. And yeah, so we went to Hokitika.

It was a beautiful time. What a great place. Oh, it's amazing there. The sign, iconic. You have to do a photo with it. My boyfriend refused to get a stranger to take one of the two of us together. So we did a quick interns situation.

For those that haven't seen it, it's a sign that's made out of driftwood. It's on the beach, on the sand and it spells Hokitika. Amazing. I've had a photo there. I've had a photo there. And it's one of those things where in the back of the photo it looks like the beach is empty but actually there's people queuing up for a photo.

So you're always doing it with the audience. It's like the Bali swing, but way less people. So I did this cool pose where I kind of had a hand on a hip and then the other one like leaning against it, like kind of like against a bar, you know? Right. A bar lean. Classic leaning, yeah.

Yeah. So this was on the straight bit of the H, on the middle bit. And as I kind of leaned over, got the great shot, it then toppled down. Wait, when you say toppled down, you mean the H or the whole sign? The inner bit of the H. So now it looks like lokatika.

Lolokatika. Yeah. Iolkatika. Yeah. This is the equivalent of pushing over the L&P bottle. It is. Jesus, that thing's just pure concrete. I'd be impressed if someone topp over the L&P bottle. It is. Jesus, that thing's just pure concrete. I'd be impressed if someone toppled the L&P bottle.

So was it because it's obviously made to look like it's sort of just been put there and just holding together, but I would assume they would put in a couple of screws here and there. Right? I don't want to criticise. I'll admit I broke the property, but I feel like let's invest in some nails. Let's put in some more permanent structure. It's not just a nail.

Is it string? 3D print it. A more solid sort of structure. Put it together and then coat it in like a resin. Or concrete. You could do concrete letters. You could concrete pour it. And make them look like fridge magnet

letters. That would be cool. Or scrabble letters. Scrabble letters. No, no, no, no, no. You're all missing the point. It's supposed to represent the rugged driftwood coated beaches of the west coast of the South Island. You can't go putting fridge magnet letters down there.

It would be quite arty though, wouldn't it? It would look cool. The Aucklanders coming down here dragging your COVID and your shit ideas. Leave us rugged west Coasters alone. So what did you do? How did you get the, how did you turn it from inokutika to hokutika again? So I picked it up and there was like several people on the beach laughing. There was one girl in tears.

Because you broke your sign. Because I broke the sign. So then I tried to kind of perch it back up and it's just leaning against two little outer bits on the other one. So then it fell down again, and then I put it up again, and then it fell down a third time. That was when I admitted defeat. So I kind of propped up, and then I ran. Wow.

You just left it? Yeah. Did you get out of town? Yeah, out of the South Island. Wow. Oh, you're going to drive straight out of that town. Yeah. We've all read it that you shouldn't be on your phone before bed.

Many, many studies say that. The blue light makes you all out of sync with yourself and keeps you awake and gives you a rubbish sleep. What if I wear a pair of those cool blue light sunglasses? Yeah, I bought a pair of those, but more for the fashion than the eye protection. Isn't there a setting in your phone? Yeah, you've got flux or you can put

the night time mode on and it makes it all sort of amber toned. But still, you stimulate your brain and you can't go to sleep. There's been a survey that has found

that 89% of people who use TikTok before bed wake up feeling more tired than those that don't. Then, yeah, 89% of them wake up feeling more tired

from using TikTok. And that's been proven to, it's saying that it's the worst app because all you do is you watch one video and then you watch the next one. Well, you're in the hole. Yeah, the algorithm gets you. And then before you know it,

you've been on there two hours. Yeah, and I don't know how the power of TikTok does this because I don't have TikTok. I'm not on the talk. I don't tick nor talk.'m not on the Tok. I don't TikTok nor Tok. But somehow I still TikTok before bed because you know all the TikTok things they do, it comes up on Facebook or Instagram as well.

So when you start watching reels, it's just TikTok anyway. So I feel like I'm like, I'm not on TikTok, but yet I TikTok before bed. Right. Carl Wayne at the social media desk who famously, how's your screen time been over the holidays actually? I don't really want to talk about it.

Can you open it up and tell us your daily usage? Do I have to? Yes. How bad is it? Is it worse than it was? Mine got pretty bad in lockdown. I feel like it's going to be kind of bad. Because I've just been relaxing, you know,

and sometimes that involves... But it's not relaxing because you feel like you're getting relaxed, but actually what's happening is your brain is going like, whoa, and it's having a party, and then you can't sleep. You're being overly stimulated, aren't you? And your cortisol levels are going through the roof and your whole health is up the wazoo. So what's your latest screen time?

I don't want to say. I'll put you on the spot here. I wouldn't dare open mine, so I can't expect you to do it. Well, it's not showing me. Oh, there we go. Hold on one second. Let me just remind myself how to find it. Specifically on the TikTok.

Oh, okay. Okay. Last week. This isn't as bad as it has been. Well, Anna's reaction kind of said otherwise. Eight hours and ten minutes? A day. A day!

How weird! This is so bad. It's a work day. It's a full work day. Yeah, social media is my job. Yeah, but you've been on holiday. You've been on holiday. How many hours would you TikTok before bed, though?

Oh, before bed, actually not that long, but it is my goal for 2022 to not TikTok before bed. Oh, okay. You've set yourself some high and mighty goals this year, haven't you? What are you going to do when you've flown unclimbed? It's important to me, Vaughn. What is your breakdown? Because in that same screen time app,

does it tell you what apps you spend all your time on? Don't ask me. It's really bad. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Over the holiday break, spent some time in the Bay of Plenty, the lovely Bay of Plenty. And one day I said to the family, let's check out a waterfall. Oh, okay.

Because there are some waterfalls. I was taking my morning ablution. I was on the toilet taking my morning ablution. I was on the toilet taking my morning ablution and I accidentally clicked on Instagram. When you go into search, there's a little geographic pin drop thing beside it. And it brought up this

map. And then on that map I was like, what's this? And then on the map it showed spots around you that people had geotagged. I didn't know it could do that. I know, and then you can find, like, some cool gram spots around. Yeah, it's a good idea if you're on holiday and you want a grammable spot. Yeah, because I messaged you saying, where is that? Because it was so grammable.

Are these the waterfalls that you have to, like, jump the fence to get to and it's a bit dodgy? No, no, no, it's a full-blown walk down there. There are signs saying, don't swim here. This is a body of water that is prone to micro- Fecal matter. Something blah, blah, blah. Micro-fecal matter.

Yeah, micro- Poos dust. Yeah, they should probably just word it poos. There's poos in this water, don't swim. Yeah. So we walked down to this waterfall and we got down there and we didn't intend to swim but took swim gear just in case. Right.

And everyone was swimming. I was like, ha, look at all these people throwing microbec-cure-ble-ble in its face, saying, take this, a coli, and doing mongres and stuff onto it. Yeah. Manus, all the range of bombs and dives. So I was like, I've got to get in amongst this.

So I jumped off the jumpy spot because I wanted to show my kids I'm a cool dad. Yeah, very brave. I did a classic white man arm wave when I jumped off the jumpy spot because I wanted to show my kids I'm a cool dad. Yeah, very brave. I did a classic white man arm wave when I jumped. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hoping not to slow yourself down. I think, I don't know because it just happens naturally, but I think what I'm trying to do is stop myself falling face first.

Yeah, balance. You don't want a belly flop. You'd rather hit the back. Yeah. But anyway, as I was climbing up to the jumping spot, I thought, I probably should have taken my watch off. Never mind. And I jumped in and immediately upon surfacing,

I reached to my wrist and my Apple Watch was gone. Because they're just held on by a little dome, aren't they? Yeah. This, the day after I crashed my drone into the sea while trying to do drone fishing. Expensive holiday. So this was starting to get quite an expensive holiday for whoopsie daisies with tech. But woe is me.

I still had fun jumping off the thing and I put a video up of me jumping saying, this is the moment that I lost my Apple Watch. I liked that video. Yeah. Because did you try to find your watch? I went underwater and opened my eyes. I couldn't see a damn thing.

How deep was it? I mean deep enough that you could jump off a cliff. Five metres. Yeah, like really. I think it was five metres. Wow. Around about at Kayate Falls. So I just put up the video and I was like, well, woe is me. Yeah. And there were some people who messaged me saying you should go back with a

snorkelling mask and see if you can find it. A snorkeling mask? A snorkeling mask. I said snorkeling mask. Snorkeling. Didn't you say snorkeling? I said snorkeling mask. Okay.

A snorkeling mask. You've been saying that wrong. Gobbles, whatever. You know, when you go snorkeling. Yeah. And I was like, oh, ha, ha. I couldn't even see. Anyway, then people are like, oh, that sucks. Oh, ha, ha, ha. People laughing. Ha, ha, oh, ha ha. I couldn't even see. Anyway, then people are like, oh, that sucks.

Oh, ha ha ha. People laughing. Ha ha ha, they said. People were laughing at your loss. Yeah, and then I get a message the next day from a guy called Ishmael saying, is this your watch? And I was like, it looks like it, but then every Apple watch looks the same. Does Ishmael have a submarine?

Or like a methane detector or something? Nope. Just a good attitude and a good pair of lungs. A can-do attitude. A can-do attitude. He just said, yeah. You found it. We were going to head up there anyway

so I just thought when I saw that, I thought I'd go up. But is this yours? I was like, yeah. And he's like, what's the password? I was like, well, I'm somewhat reluctant to just give that out willy-nilly. I said, it might not be mine.

He's like, yeah, because I found two other watches down there, so maybe not. And I was like, what? So he found two Apple Watches and a Samsung smartwatch at the bottom of these waterfalls. Oh, my God. So if you have an Apple Watch, can you, like, reset it and use it if you find it?

Only if you can unlock it. Oh, right. Okay, otherwise you can reshare it. But you've also got to, because. But you've also got to, because I think you've also got to unpair it from your phone before you can re-write it. Because I just replaced mine.

I cracked it. Oh, really? But yeah, it's a bit of a process. Yes. So does it work? It works perfectly. But here's the problem.

Ishmael found it the next day. I met up with this, everyone, I was doing this on the gram and everyone was like, you're being scammed, you're being scammed. I'm like, what's the problem. Ishmael found it the next day. I met up with this, everyone, I was doing this on the gram and everyone was like, you're being scammed, you're being scammed. I'm like,

what's the scam? Yeah. What's in it for Ishmael? Yeah. I'm going to get there and he's going to pull out a knife and be like, give me all your money.

I'll be like, I've only got the $20 my mum gave me for Christmas. He'll be like, that'll do. That'll do. It was all worth it. He was just doing a good...

I got all of his details. I got everything. I said, there's no scam here. No, he was just doing a good deed. Just kindness. And details. I got everything. I said, there's no scam here. No, he was just doing a good deed. Just kindness. And I got there.

And it was. It was my watch. And it worked. Mint. It was an amazing Instagram story, like up and down. It had all the drama. I'm wiping a tear as we speak. It's on my highlights.

It's nominated for a BAFTA. Yep. Did you do the little thing where, you know, the Apple Watches go, squirt out the water? I didn't even need that. It was really weird. Here's the problem. In between losing it and bathing in my own

woe, between that and Ishmael messaging me saying I think you found it, I got drunk and ordered another one online. So this is my new Apple Watch Series 7. So where's the poo watch? Sade's got the poo watch now. It still works.

She'll have her the good one. No. It's your fault for jumping in and losing it. I know. I was a fool. She has now benefited from my... Yeah, with a poo watch. My foolishness.

No, it's not a wetty poo watch. It's got some microbacterial stuff in it. What doesn't these days, you know? Very true. Better than the free toy in your box of cereal. This is the Top 6. Didn't know there were free toys in the box of cereal anymore. No, I don't think there is.

You might get an All Blacks card. Might get an All Blacks card if you're lucky. Yeah, me, I might, yeah. Well, today's top six of the top six other gang trends you'll see on TikTok because we've learnt that the highly sought after

Toyota Acquire, which have been stolen in record numbers if you've got one of these beautiful little hybrids. Police gave a warning, didn't they? They said if you've got one of these,

make sure you've got a steering wheel lock or an immobiliser. I don't think that still existed. I know. I can't believe we've returned to a 1990s form of car security. Well, surely technology's advanced. I know, I always see them and I just laugh.

They make me laugh. I'm like, ha ha ha ha. Because the vibe was that you would cut hacksaw through the steering wheel and then just rip it through and then it was pointless. Yeah. I mean, I hope I just haven't told a new generation of criminals how to get around that otherwise flawless security system. But taking the catalytic converters out of them,

which are apparently in hybrids, got more valuable material in it. Like a metal, and then do they sell them to scrap dealers? Yeah, I think so. I think so. That's why that time we saw that Prius and it was like... I just thought that Uber driver was trying to be cool. Yeah. Lowered, looking cool.

But anyway, a mechanic has told Carwin that it's not just the catalytic converters and the valuable metals, there's some sort of online challenge. This is for real? Well, he has been repairing quite a few of them lately because they're all being stolen in Auckland. And unfortunately, my flatmate's was stolen. And he let me know that apparently this is some sort of trend

that they're trying to steal 100 cars. The first person to get to 100 cars. Potentially a gang thing. But did they put it on TikTok? I don't know. I mean, I haven't seen any evidence of that, but maybe. Just keeping it to themselves. That's evidence if you steal something, isn't it? You film yourself doing it.

Are you on Gang Talk? No. That's like one of the sub-talks. Yeah, I just learned about jail talk. Yeah, people smuggling phones and then TikTok themselves in jail. But you've got to pass your time. You've got to pass the time somehow, don't you?

Their first video is always a very dark one. Yeah. And then it slowly lights up. And then it gets into savage love. And they take the phone out of the condom and away they go. So the top six other gang trends on TikTok. Number six on the list, driving really fast past people in cars on your really loud motorbikes and scaring them. Happens to me all the time. Really? I never hear a motorbike

coming until it's right on me. And why do you get a bit spooked? Roam! Always spooked. If I see them coming, I warn the kids. I say, kids, heads up, motorbikes inbound. Roam! Are they just like, cool, thanks?

Thanks with the heads up because that was loud. Right. Number five on the list of the top six other gang trends on TikTok. The 12-foot tall corrugated iron fence with razor wire renovations talk. Livening up a little bit.

Yeah. Maybe you're moving out of the urban camouflage look. Maybe a bit more greenery. Why couldn't it be a living wall? Maybe some fairy lights around the bar. That's nice. Twinkling. Yeah. It's quiteery. Why couldn't it be a living wall? Maybe some fairy lights around the barb. That's nice.

Twinkling. Yeah. Quite pretty. You can see it if it's being cut. The lights will go out as well. We're coming up with some great ideas. That's for free. Number four on the list of the top six other gang trends on TikTok,

a synchronized dance to a raving motorcycle. I don't know how it goes. I'm not good at the synchronized dancing, but I know how A riving motorcycle goes I previously mentioned This scared the hell out of me Yeah Number three on the list

This one's a bit of you Actually Sprout They could be looking For a host For this on TikTok The great Kiwi P Bake Off Who makes the best pee You could smoke a little bit

Make a judgement Yeah I could try them all Yeah Dip your finger in it Give it a lick You're like That's good That's the best one.

Number two on the list of the top six other gang trends on TikTok are the smokiest funeral procession challenge. Oh, okay. Yeah. I love dropping a doughy at a funeral. Oh, yeah. No better way to send off a fallen soldier. Yeah, than with a big smoky rock up. And number one on the list of the top six

other gang trends on TikTok. I can see it happening in 2022. The Great British of the gang trends on TikTok. I can see it happening in 2022. The Great British sewing your gang patch on B. Do you put your own patch on? I don't know. I just assume you dropped all the jackets off at the store and they did it. Yeah, I don't know. We check it to a local tailor who just sort of overlocks the edges. Or is it just that embroidery place in the mall?

Oh, yeah. They can do it. Get a cap done at the same time. They'd probably be bloody stoked to get the business. Do the patch? They're high quality, eh? Yeah, I think that's the whole, there's a real thing amongst gangs as to who's got the best quality. You can't just buy that sort of iron-on

transfer paper and print one out yourself. No one would take you seriously. Unless they have their own banana. Do it behind closed doors. You'd want a hard needle on the banana though because it's got to go through the patch and the leather as well. The leather. Gang banana. That's just sewing chat. That's today's top six.

Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Three minutes past seven. Coming up on the show, we caught producer Jared doing something last week on a wee getaway that was a little bit cute. While we were canoeing the Whanganui River.

It looked beautiful. Were we canoeing or kayaking? They were canoes because I think kayaks are closed over. Right. Canoes you sit on top of. Right. And they're open. What does Lisa Carrington do?

She canoes. She's a kayaker. Okay. She has a K. Are you sure? Yeah, the K. It stands for canoe, doesn't it? I talked to her

and I said the wrong one. I can't remember which one I said. You said canoe. Maybe I said canoe and she went kayak. I bet that happens. And she's a dame now.

She's a New Zealand hero. I've really embarrassed myself in front of her. Yeah, well, we caught producer Jared doing something, which we'd like to roast him on soon on the show. I've got a bit of an update for you later on. I've got to give the people what they want. Everyone wants to know what's the situation with my neighbours.

I've got a hot little update for you. You famously urinated on your car once. Oh, my God. It was the worst. And did the vents. Peter, my vents. Anyway, I've got a bit of an update and I tell you it's juicy.

Well, it's your chance to win free fuel with Z Empty Tank. We're going to do it every day this week at 7 and at 8. Molly joins us. Good morning, Molly. Good morning. How are you? Good, good, good. Did you spend a bit of money on fuel over the holidays? Sure did.

Yeah, and it's not getting cheaper, is it? No. You need a Toyota Aquar. No, well, I wouldn't have to spend any fuel because I wouldn't have it. No, what I'm saying is you need a Toyota Aquar. Oh. No, because people keep stealing them.

No, because they're so silly as well. All right, well. Alright, well Molly, this is how ZDMDTAM works. The fuel amount will increase and at any stage, you say stop and that fuel, that money is yours, but

if it buzzes, does it blow up? No, because you can't blow up a petrol station, I believe. It's going to buzz and you will lose if it gets to that stage. Okay? I love this so much.

All right. I know you get very jazzed about this. Oh, I love these. All right. Well, Molly, here you go. Say stop at any stage. Let's go. $5.

Oh. $25. $25. $5. Oh. $25. $60. $75. $110. Stop. Oh, girl. $110, Molly.

That's a tank. That's a tank. That's a full tank. Well, depending on what car you All yours. That's a tank. That's a tank. That's a full tank. Well, depending on what car you've got. I've got a very economical car. You've got a small. It's not a Mazda 3. It's not a really silly car. Let's see how high it would have gone, Molly.

$130. $140. $180. $180. $180. Oh, okay. I don't think that's bad. I don't think you did bad. I don't think you did bad at all. You're happy with that?

Yeah. It was $110, was it? $110. Yeah, $110. You've got to remember that you don't want to just say any number. I'm going to have to write that down. Yeah, yeah. $110.

Well done, Molly. And another chance for you to win at 8 o'clock. We'll do it again. Zed Empty Tank. Play Zed Em's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A study has been done. This is out of the UK, and it has found that in the privacy of people's own homes, over half chat routinely with inanimate objects.

Yep. And pets. I concur. Yeah. If I'm frustrated with something, I will swear at it, which I guess is a form of communication. I'll get very angry at the thing. You stupid effing thing I'll say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you doing this to me? I'll ruin you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that to me again and I'll ruin you. You've effed with the wrong dude. Over 60% say they have an entirely two-way conversation with their pets. It's not two-way though, is it? No, it is.

They are entirely doing it two-way. So they're talking to the cat and then imagining the cat talking back. Yeah, or sometimes my cat will be like, meow, and I'll be like that. So I'm imagining he's talking to me. 44% talk with houseplants. Yeah, or sometimes my cat would be like, meow, and I'll be like that. That's right. I'm imagining he's talking to me. 44% talk with houseplants. Yeah, I do. I apologised to one the other day. Did you ask it if it was thirsty? I sung it to some

what's her name, Sarah McLachlan, In the Arms of the Angel. I killed one. Oh, yeah. No, no. I was going to say, that's a death song. Yeah. It died. It's associated with those animal ways. So I apologised to her. I talk to the plants. I talk to the cat. I talk a little bit to inanimate objects, but usually when they hurt me. I had a good chat to the wind.

The other day, on our last day of the Whanganui River, I was paddling. Oh, we had headwinds. And just headwind. There were like waves. It was like being in the sea. It was choppy. Yeah, really choppy.

We were heading straight into it last day. I was having choice words with it and Sade said, stop talking to me like that. I said, you have made a huge mistake in assuming I'm speaking to you. I am having a straight up word with the wind. Wow. Word with the wind sounds like a death metal band. Vaughan Smith's words with the wind.

That's what my poetry book's going to be called. Yeah. Expect it sometime later this year, my poetry. But we're wondering, if you talk to inanimate objects, who are you talking to? What's the weirdest thing you talk to? And have you ever been caught having a chat with one of these objects and having to explain yourself to people?

Do you think that people are going to admit that they talk to their plants? I feel like talking to your plants is a little more, a little less crazy, shall I say, than talking to your iPhone charger. Or your pets. There you go, little buddy.

Hopping in. No, but because if you were like having a work, you know, everyone's got a cord. You experienced the cord in my car where you've got to

plug the phone in and you've got to get the cord just right otherwise it only comes through one speaker. Sometimes you've got to pinch it and that's the only way. Yeah, and you're like, come on, come on.

I know you're there. I know it's in there. There she is. Come on now, what's wrong with you? Connect, connect. I can imagine. You're having a bad day. It's all right.

Have a chat with a cord. That's an encouragement the cord might need. Is it a sign you're going crazy though? No. It's probably a sign you need to go on a couple of dates maybe. You start talking to people again. Yeah. Have you met people?

Oh, horrible. That's the absolute worst. So, I'll 800-DANCE-IT-M. You can text in this morning, 9696. Do you regularly talk to inanimate objects?

And have you been caught? Have you ever been caught? Yeah. Having a chit chat. We've all bumped into the store mannequin, right? And been like, sorry about that.

Excuse me, sir. And then realised. I beg your pardon, sir. And been like, sorry about that. Excuse me, sir. I beg your pardon, sir. And then you look at it and you're like, your proportions are perfect. Your proportions are. Skin is porcelain, yeah. Oh, you don't even say a word.

You might be my dream human. And then you're smushing it. And they're like, sir, get out of bras and things. And you're like, you can't kick me out of bras and things. I'm in love. You are a sex pest. You undress the mannequin. And they're like, you can't steal the bra.

You're like, you've made a huge mistake. I'm not stealing the bra. I'm freeing my love from the confines of this window prison. That's why Vaughan's not allowed in bras and things anymore. Naughty Vaughan. And I'm yet to be reunited with my forever love. Yeah, your one true love. Well, a study out of the UK, more than half of adults

have conversations with inanimate objects. 60% have two-way conversations with pets, which are really one way, aren't they? No, you're playing both roles. That's what it means

by a two-way conversation. They entirely do the two-way conversation. What's your cat's voice? Come on. Give me your cat's voice. I don't know. No, I don't have a voice. It's just meows.

My cat does meow quite a bit. Hi, Rolly. What are you imagining? Owen. Owen. Our cat speaks, though. Oh, right. Our cat says Aaron's name when he's upset.

He goes, Aaron. My cat died. My cat died. I don't want name when he's upset. He goes Aaron. My cat died. My cat died. I don't want to talk about it anymore. You've still got a cat. It's not my favourite one though.

Oh. Nah. Anakin. Yeah Anakin passed away. After how many years? 17. Not bad for a $30 cat. Pretty good.

Pretty good for a $30 cat. $48 cat. $48 cat. That was a donation cat. Yeah. Yeah. They're the ones that last. They last. They last. You cat. That was a donation cat. Yeah. Yeah. They're the ones that last. They last, man.

You can't keep down them donation cats. 44% of adults talk to their houseplants. So we want to know if you've ever been caught talking to an inanimate object or you do this regularly.

Yeah. And some texts and some calls in. Oh, it happens. Lots of people talk on lots of things. Somebody said we talk to our insect zapper. You know those ones that hang outside when it gets one.

We're like, yes, good work. Nice work. I sometimes, I get a big fright from my psss, the fly. You know the fly psss. And it doesn't give you any warning that it's going to psss. Would you like a beep or something, like a pre-beep? But then the beep would scare you. But then the beep would tell the flies that they're about to get sprained. And I always say, like a pre-beep? But then the beep would scare you. But then the beep would tell the flyers

that they're about to get... Sprayed. And I always say, oh, I forgot about you. Oh, you got me again. And you inhale a little bit. If you walk past it... Right near it.

Yeah. Michaela, you talk to your car. Yes, I do. Me and my partner have a blue Mazda Vizier. Okay. And we've named him Bean. Bean? Bean.

Oh, Bean. Oh, right. And so do you talk to it if Bean gets low on fuel? Yeah, low on fuel. If we're stuck behind traffic or going up a hill, basically anything really. Yeah, I give my Mazda a bit of a pat on the dashboard when we're going up a hill

and she's having a struggle. Come on, girl. This doesn't sound good for Mazdas when you have to tap it. You pat it. You're patting your Mazda. Patting the Mazda. Mine's not long for this world. And have you ever been in traffic and people have seen you talking to it?

Yeah, occasionally. Right. Also don't, if you're late for something, Hayley, turn up and say, sorry I'm late, I was patting my Mazda. It doesn't sound like you were encouraging your car. Yeah, that's true. Michaela, thanks for your call. Dana, you talk to

an inanimate object? Yeah, I talk to my tattoo all the time and I make my partner kiss it goodnight sometimes. I've got questions. What is it? it goodnight sometimes. I've got questions. What is it? Straight out the gate I've got questions.

What is the tattoo? It's of my pet cow. Okay, well that makes sense. Whereabouts is it? On my arm, like on my bicep. Okay. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Can you give a little kiss? Can we see a photo? I think people want to see a photo. I want to see a photo. Is it like a photo realistic? It's real cute. Is it like a photo realistic? It's real cute. Is it like photo realistic?

No. Like a cartoon? Yeah, it's like a little baby calf in the hand. I can hear the voice coming out as you're talking about it. It's my little cow. What breed of cow was this cow? Oh, just a Kiwi Cross dairy cow. Righto.

Ah, you stand a Kiwi Cross dairy cow. That's it? Yeah. Is the cow still with us? Yeah. Okay, good, good, good. And then what if the boyfriend doesn't kiss a goodnight? Is he in trouble? Guampy, yeah, I get guampy. Kiwi guampy.

He's not allowed to kiss the cow goodnight. Wow. Do you get a kiss goodnight as well or is it just the cow? No, I do too. If the cow gets one, she gets one too. It's a twofer. Oh, my God. She is the cow.

The cow. They are one. Yeah, we are. Do you talk to it during the day? Yeah, yeah, because I'm a farmer and so, like, I see the cow as well and so I make Daisy give herself licks and stuff. Daisy! Oh, this cow, I mean, that's the perfect name for her.

It licks your arm! You know. I love how passionate you are about little Daisy cows. You are very passionate. Amazing. Dana, thanks for your call. Anita, what inanimate object do you talk to? Hey, guys, Happy New Year.

Thank you. Oh, Anita. Anita, I got Hey, guys. Happy New Year. Thank you. Oh, Anita. Anita, I got told off for saying Happy New Year. Why? We're over halfway through the first month. I know, but what are you going to say? Nothing. Just say hello.

Just hello. I think just a hello next time, Anita. Sorry. Look, I don't know what day of the week it is, let alone the day of the show. It's Monday. I just, you know. Yeah. Good stuff.

It's not me. It's my dad. He's the jolliest person in the world. And so he wakes up and he goes outside to his glasshouse and he opens the door and he says, good morning, glasshouse. How are we all today? How are we doing?

How did you sleep? He's talking to his plants. What's he got growing in there, marijuana? No, you name it, he's got a... Tomato. I imagine he's got some tomatoes in there. Yeah. Not in the glasshouse, he's got it. Tomato. I imagine he's got some tomatoes in there. Yeah. Not in the glass house.

That's in the garden. Courgettes, beans, ladyfingers, cucumbers, radishes. This is triggering me. A memory of reading something about talking to plants encourages their growth. Something about the vibrations or something like that. He 100% believes his garden does so well because he loves his garden so much. See, I think it's the love.

If you're likely to talk to your plants, you're also likely to just look after them better, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because this doesn't make sense because all my plants that have died are in the lounge and they can hear all the Netflix.

No, but you're not talking directly to them. Should they have seen? Those plants are just like, try me out, I'm out. I'm cancelling myself. Anita, thanks for your call. Some messages? I'm a teacher. I was in the resource room.

The principal walked in. She didn't know I was there. And I heard her start talking to the books. But when she started, I had to stay real quiet because I didn't want her to know I was there. I started hearing her talk and I was like, what is she saying? So I snuck a little bit closer and she started, I had to stay real quiet because I didn't want her to know I was there. I started hearing her talk and I was like, what is she saying? So I snuck a little bit closer and she said, oh, Mrs. Wishy-Washy, what a day I've had.

She was talking to the book or the Mrs. Wishy-Washy. But in New Zealand, we are brought up to believe that books are our friends. That was the message at primary school for me. Books are our friends. Oh, no, ours was books of the devil, burn them, burn them. We used to have regular book burnings. I misunderstood. Especially the science books.

723, next on the show, we were last week canoeing the Whanganui River. Famously a very isolated part of New Zealand with zero phone reception. Yeah. And then we caught producer Jared doing something. Do I want to know? Out the back of the lodge. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Just to say, the Hongnui River is a beautiful part of New Zealand.

It's steeped in history. It's one of our great walks. Yeah. Slash you can know it. Yeah. So we did a three-day version of this last week. Myself, Fletch, producer Jared, and a bunch of other of my friends who suggested it. And then someone's partner got pregnant, so Fletch got involved.

And then we said to Jared, do you want to come? And then, oh, wow, what a fun old time. Yes. Seven of us down the river. Yeah. And the boats. Couple of whoopsie-daisies for myself and my wife. I saw that. You went right under. Yeah. And the boats, a couple of whoopsie-daisies for myself and my wife. I saw that.

You went right under. Yeah, went right on under. But it was really warm. Way warmer than I thought. My experience with the river water is it's always bloody freezing. Were you canoeing? Are your legs in? So we were in open, like, Canadian canoes.

And you have your barrels and all your stuff tied in. Yeah. And Jared, producer Jared, was in a kayak, a single person, like a sea kayak. When you flip in, I remember learning that at school, like how to get out. Oh, and there was none of that that just tossed you out. Yeah. Because your legs weren't in.

They weren't covered. I technically didn't fall out. You became fully submerged. What do you mean technically? Well, we went fully under, but we didn't fall out. Their whole boat was underwater. Yeah. And Callum, Vaughan's friend, was yelling at me to bail the water. Bail the water?

Yeah. And I said, turn around. And he looked and he realised I couldn't bail the entire river out. Yeah, they were a submarine at this stage. But technically, we got to the side and then tipped it out, but we didn't fall out. There you go. But they had a teddy bear's picnic getting bloody ready. The rest of us just fell out, went to the side and then tipped it out, but we didn't fall out. There you go. But they had a teddy bear's picnic getting bloody ready.

The rest of us just fell out, went to the shore, tipped our boats out and had another go at it. It was just pride for me. They spent hours trying to get it out. That's fair. So other highlights included seeing the bird of the year, the bat. The long-tailed bat. For approximately 25 seconds at five minutes past nine at the docker.

Vaughn made friends with the hut warden who loved the bats. Oh, wow. She got teary. Didn't she? She was very upset about their possible extinction. But then I lost that friend when she was listing the predators

and she mentioned the ruru, the moor pork. And I said, oh, the moor pork can have that, the bat. Yeah, because you love Because that's a natural predator. I don't want the moor pork

to go without. Feral cats and possums and all that, they can get shocked. Yeah, because you love, I love moorporks. Because that's a natural predator. Yeah. I'm not going to, I don't want the moorpork to go without. Feral cats and possums and all that, they can get shocked. Yeah, I can't speak. I've got a cat. He's a hunter. Yeah. He doesn't discriminate. A long-tailed bat.

That was night one of the dog hunt. Tiny things. Waste of time. Yeah. I mean, I don't even want to get into it because I'm not happy about that bird of the year situation. It's not right to me. You know, I saw it, so it was quite a little bit exciting.

Night two was at the Bridgestone O'Wear Lodge, which I believe now we're family at the Bridgestone O'Wear Lodge. Oh, really? I think in the will. In the will even? Yeah, like we went straight out past the kids. I think we were more helpful in the one night we were there than the kids have been in their entire existence. You got hands on, didn't you? Yeah, I put the Starlink satellite up because they ordered the Starlink

and I'll tell you in a minute how we saw it sitting out the back of the lodge. Yeah. And then my mate Callum, who's always happy to volunteer at somebody else's services, like, Vaughn will put that up for you. He'll get that going. He's got one. Easy peasy. And it is easy.

So we got the Wi-Fi working there. Wow. But how we spotted the Wi-Fi out the back was Jared went missing. Producer Jared went missing for a bit. And I said to Mandy, the lovely lodge owner. Lovely lodge lady. The lovely lodge lady. You haven't seen Jared, have you?

And she said, oh, he's out the back on the phone to the missus. And I said, but you've got no reception. She said, he's using the landline. So bear in mind, at this stage, we're being two days without any internet or reception, which was actually lovely, wasn't it? It was nice, yeah. But you couldn't go without.

But he couldn't go without the meeting. You said it was lovely and it was nice. The minute that Wi-Fi was up, we lost you. You were like, yeah, I'm going to see you later. He was fiending for you said it was lovely and it was nice. The minute that Wi-Fi was up, we lost you. Oh, yeah, I was on. Oh, I see. He was fiending for you. He was off to his private quarters. Right, let's open up the apps and see if anybody's nearby.

Producer Jared, though, this was the longest that you'd been without your girlfriend. Yeah, since we'd moved in together, this was the longest time apart. Two days? No. That's the longest time apart. Two days? No. That's the longest I can spend with Aaron. I'm like, you need to go.

You need to go to a dockyard. Because we left, I think we left on the Sunday. Yep, correct. And then there was a night at Vaughan's lovely parents' house. And then the trip started. So this was only the second day of the trip. So it was the fourth day. Fourth day in total.

And you hadn't spoken to her in three. No, I really missed her. You were yearning for her, longing. So when's the last time you used a landline? Not in my 20s. How do you even, you push it. You have to press one to get out. What type of landline was it?

No, it was just a little beep, boop, boop. But was it a cordless unit? No, it was just a little beep boop boop. Oh, not a cordless unit? No, it was a cordless unit. Oh, right. And did you ring your girlfriend's cell phone? Yeah. Because, you know, that's a toll call. That's expensive.

That's expensive. I didn't know that. We're in the water. How did you ask Mandy if you could use the phone? I walked up and I was... You were sheepish about it. I was sheepish. Because when we found you were on the phone

and we all rolled out to start ragging, you were just getting off the phone and you looked like we'd caught you playing with yourself. I've walked up to Mandy and I said, hey, this might be a bit of a silly Aucklander question, but do you have any Wi-Fi or a landline I could use to call my girlfriend? I really miss her.

And she just melted a little bit. And she felt sorry for you. Mandy was a hard lady. I'm surprised she didn't absolutely roast you. I was expecting Mandy to go in, but she hooked it up. Right. Yeah. How many minutes did you call your girlfriend for?

I think it was only a 10-minute call. Oh! 10 minutes! Jared! Jared! Jared, you get charged per minute on the landline. Hold on, let me look what it costs. Jared, are're trying to work out how much this is going to cost. You're going to have to send Mandy like $10, I think.

Yeah. I don't know. Do you get free minutes on the landline? Landlines within New Zealand. Mobiles within New Zealand. National calling rates from a landline. Oh, my gosh. 39 cents a minute to a mobile.

Oh, that's not too... Capped at five. That's dramatically decreased in price. It used to be like, you wouldn't dare or you'd quickly go, hey, really? And then hang up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry guys, that's not as nice. I'm more sickened by this love fest, honestly. Four days. That's disgusting, isn't it? Men used to go off to war for months. Yeah, but I'm not a fan of this love fest, honestly. Four days. That's disgusting, isn't it? Men used to go off to war for months.

Yeah, but I'm soft. And they go out the back and they'll be like, Hi, I'm German prisoner of war guy. Hey, do you have a landline? I really miss my mini. Excuse me, mein Fuhrer. Do you have... Is there like a Wi-Fi landline situation?

Hitler's like, we've all got someone special. Get this man's landline. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley's. Great news. Face masks make us more attractive. Is it because it hides how ugly you are? It hides your ugly, gross, ugly face.

I think we mentioned or talked about this between ourselves last year. It's like when you go to the ski field and everyone's got goggles. So hot. Yeah. And everyone looks hot. And you're like. So geared up. Yeah.

You're like, why is everyone here hot? Yeah, that's true. Because half their face is covered. Later on, you see them out and you can still see where their goggles were because they didn't sunscreen the rest of their face. Yeah. If they got the goggles and you're like, oh, okay, that's disappointing. Not in every case.

No. Certainly not in every case. But yeah, everybody's hot points go up. It was like the big day out or any festival. Yeah. Yeah, people's hot points. Everyone just always looked a little bit hotter at a festival. Yeah. Yeah, people's hot points, everyone just always looked a little bit hotter at a festival. There is a sort of je ne sais quoi, isn't there?

Like, ooh, what could be the mystery behind the mask? That's what I reckon. Humans were worst-case scenario creatures unless it's about someone's possibility of attractiveness. Yeah, they could be super hot under there. You hear a voice and you automatically give yourself the voice, you're like best case scenario, and then often that falls short. Like radio announcers.

No. Not all of us. I sort of, when I met Aaron, I didn't see his real face for about a year and a half. He's got a beard. He's a bearded guy, big beard. Oh, okay. And so that's sort of like a mask, isn't it?

And I was always like, hmm. And then he shaved it once. And then is that why he's always got a beard now? Yeah, I was like, okay. And so that's sort of like a mask, isn't it? And I was always like, mmm, and then he shaved it once. And then, is that why he's always got a beard now? Yeah, I was like, ooh. Ooh, grow it back. Grow it back now. He looks like a, yeah, he does. But have you seen examples of people wearing a mask and you thought they

could be hot and then they've taken it off and you've been like, interesting. Mmm. I don't think I've seen that many people that I didn't know. Yeah, because I don't really often see people take them off, I guess. They just sort of walk by and you go, I wonder. Leave them on. Yeah.

So a study was conducted last year about the attractiveness of the mask. Like, you know, does it make people look more attractive? 43 women were asked to rate the attractiveness of male faces from 1 to 10. There was without a mask, wearing a cloth mask, wearing a blue medical face mask, and covering the lower half of the face

with a plain black book. Because it's the reason being. It was like the Bible. It was covering. Just grab the Bible. And hold it up it up oh you know i love a man a man of the cloth who hides behind his book what did they say what book it's just a plain black book okay because it covers the same part of the face right okay the only plain black book i know is either a yearly diary yeah you know your annual diary the collins diary, or the Holy Bible. Or the B-Blade. So it was those with the blue medical masks that came out on the most attractive.

Yeah, that's hot. Maybe it's because you think like doctor. That's what they think. It's also, it associates it with caring or medical professions. So if you're going on a date and, you know, you might be going to a cafe or a restaurant And you might need the mask to walk in initially Go for the blue surgical Is that what you're saying? And wear scrubs

And pretend you're a doctor And one of those little hats they wear Oh no, the bonnet The bonnet's not sexy The surgeon's bonnet The sexy bonnet I always liked the sexy bonnet. It's sexy when they pull it off and they're a little bit sweaty

from a hard heart surgery. Oh, no, I don't want them sweating into an open wound. I like my medical professionals to be dry. But you know that they've surgeries hard. They have hard surgery. Yeah. Nurse, tell me. And then they tell them on the brow,

which is exposed under the sexy bonnet. I've benefited from the mask because I'm somewhat of a mustached woman. And prone to a bit of chin acne while we're at it. Right. So I really just sort of let it all go. Because you cover it up. And then you take it off. Take it off and you're like, it's scratching.

I think you're part of me calling you a woman this whole time, sir. Yeah, so if you want to look sexy, a blue medical mask. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. All right, let me take you back. I've got a bit of a neighbour update. A lot of you have been messaging me on the gram asking for the neighbour situation. You may remember back when I was here last year, I was having a bit of a tiff with my neighbours,

which started when they... And I don't have evidence of this. The evidence was the smell in my car. But we had very loud neighbours, and then one day I got in my car and I turned the aircon on and it smelled like pure human urine. And we worked out that they had obviously taken a wee-wees. It stood on your car.

It stood on my bonnet. Yeah. And we'd in the vents. Now, did it start there or did it start when you complained about their noise? It started when we constantly complained about their noise and when they would have parties and leave bottles all up the driveway, we would chuck them up the drive and smash them. Just to wake them up.

There was a little tit for tat. There was a bit of a tit for tat. I don't think my tit deserved the tat. No, always be the tat. If they left the bottles there, that was the tit. That's the tit. Throwing them up the driveway was the tat. So what was the urine?

But that's the tat. They titted me by peeing in my car then. Yeah. Anyway, and then I was... By the way, how does that smell now? I got a new car. I couldn't be bothered dealing with it.

I got a new car. So wait, so who got the old one? It went to the... It was due. It was due to be killed. So it went to the metal scrapyard. Right.

Urine and all. Okay. So someone might get a sort of recycled metal fridge or something and be like... What is that? It still smells. I'm telling you, it's my neighbour's urine.

But we had constant problems with our neighbours. Music. They threatened to have a go. Did I share that? Yeah. I went over to complain about their noise and they said, do you want to have a go? And I politely declined.

And so people want to know where it's at, how it's going, how we're getting along. The truth is I'm a coward. I sold my house. Could escape the problem. Couldn't deal with it anymore. It was time, things aligned and we moved and we've moved to a very quiet neighbourhood.

Okay. Very quiet indeed. In fact, we are the trash of said neighbourhood. Aaron and I, we are the worst people in that neighbourhood. We're the loudest, the least put together. Oh, well, the tit is on the other tat. We are the tit of this new town. Anyway, so we've been every night sitting outside

and just going, listen to that, listen to that. Isn't it beautiful? The silence. Absolutely enjoying it. And silence. The other night we went to, we took our cocktail of the evening, as we do,

out onto the deck. We said, listen to that. And it was, I was like, no, no, no,

no, no, no. The hair. The hair. And we heard the, the familiar oomph oomph. The glasses weren't rattling like they used to in the old house,

but we could hear it. And then we walked up the street a little bit and there was like a massive like shapeshifter party. What, shapeshifter were playing in someone's backyard? It sounded like it. Okay. It absolutely sounded like it. And my soul crumbled.

We put everything into this new house, this new life. How far up though? And they have found me. Opposite of the road, maybe sort of four along, but it's a very quiet neighbourhood. Yeah, I'm sure there was one along. It really pops up. It's also not the kind of neighbourhood I would expect students to

live in, because it's quite far away from the town. I've moved rural, that's how far I wanted to get away from the old neighbours. I've gone a bit rural. And the next morning we went for a walk and there were like, I want to say 30 cars lining our tiny little street, all with like students asleep in them.

Asleep in the cars. Well, you know, kudos to them not driving home. I kind of wish they did. Did you get up on the bottom and take a whazz on all of them? You said, you grab that side of the street, Aaron. I'll grab this side of the street. We're going to whazz on all of them. And I squ you grab that side of the street, Aaron. I'll grab this side of the street. We're going to wazz on all of them.

And I squatted down and each and every one of them, I filled up with water, litres of water. So the saga continues. I'm yet to find out if, you know,

mum and dad went away and the kids had a party. Sounds likely. Or if they're here to stay. I like to just picture you walking down the street with like a cocktail glass and being like,

well, I didn't expect this noise out so far. That is the most accurate portrayal of myself that I've ever seen. Anyway, so I'll keep you updated as to what I discover with these neighbours.

I have been doing little walk-bys and sort of looking up, but it's quite a long driveway. Do you know if you keep, if this keeps happening to you, you realise that you're the problem. I'm not the problem. Yeah, made an arsehole in the morning, you made that you're the problem? I'm not the problem.

Yeah, made an arsehole in the morning, you made an arsehole. Made arseholes all day, you're the arsehole. Think about that. Think about that. I'm not the problem. Am I the problem? I'm not the problem. You could be the problem.

That's what problems say. ZMD Tank all this week, giving you the chance to win free fuel, 7 o'clock and 8. Good morning, Rosie. Good morning. Happy Monday. Rosie, you're so cheery. Sorry. I don't mean to bring it down.

Is it coffee? What's on the agenda, Rosie? I'm just actually heading off to work. Shout out to the One Star Family in Christchurch. Nice. Nice. Okay, okay. And so I'm guessing you're driving and some fuel would be nice? Yes, definitely.

I have a half-night commute every day. Oh, my. Okay, God, you must go through some fuel every week. All right, well, this is how it works. We're going to count up the pump. We'll count up the dollar amount. And you've got to say stop before it buzzes and the fuel cuts off and you lose.

Okay. Okay, here we go. Let's go. $20. $35. $70. $95. Oh, stop. Oh! $95 $100 Wait, did you stop at $105?

She stopped $110, yeah Yeah, that one I think it said $105, didn't it? We should be listening I thought it went $95 to $120 and she said stop before it completed the 120. So I think we should just go 120 to round up.

We'll go 120. We'll go 120 to round up. Because we weren't listening, and that's not on you. You felt quite unsure, though. You sort of did, oh, I'll stop. Rosie, let's see how high it would have gone. $145. $180.

$205. $2055 Oh, Rosie. $240 Oh, Rosie. Oh! You did it right, $120. Yeah. That's half of $240. Yes, all right.

Congratulations, Rosie. ZMD Tank back again tomorrow. Seven and eight, your chances to win. Now, next on the show, we want to do, we don't want to give this away right now, but we want to do a little social experiment. Conducting our own survey. We're going to need guys, you fellas out there,

to give us a bit of a call. But you've got to be with somebody else. You've got to be able to pass the phone to somebody else once we speak to you. Does it matter who they're with? It doesn't matter who you're with. No, they don't have to be a lover or a fighter. Not anyone.

They could be a workmate, a friend, whatever. If you're a guy listening now and you're with somebody, 0800 DALZM right now for a little social experiment. It's easy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A survey has been conducted on the male species, asking them how they rate themselves in attractiveness on a scale of one to ten.

This is why we've asked guys to call us. Yeah. Before I give you the sort of general stats on average, Vaughn, what do you rate yourself? Just going to open the camera and see what we've got down here. Have you forgotten your own face? Yeah, it changes. The other day I accidentally opened the front camera.

I actually took a photo of it. Look how grumpy I looked. I was like, what's happened? There's nothing worse than when you open an app and the camera's on and you're just like, bleh. Look how grumpy I looked. Look at how grumpy I looked. So aggressive.

I look like I'm really angry at some local teenagers. Okay, so it's safe to say you're not rating yourself that high? Oh, I was going to say about a seven. It's not very New Zealand to rate yourself high. It's not, is it, at all? Four? Oh, my God, you're gorgeous. No, he's negging himself.

And then you go, no, you're not. You're like a six. Yeah, this is his ploy. This is what he does on the dating apps. I'm just so fat and ugly. And then they turn and they're like, no, you're not you're like a six yeah this is his ploy this is what he does on the dating apps I'm just your fat and ugly and then they turn and they're like no you're not

and then he nags nags himself into it's fat so what does the study say on average this study said that men rate themselves about a 5.9

on a scale of out of 10 about a 6 out of 10 a 6 out of 10 I think that's exactly what it is. No one's going to say. You said we're sixes. No, no.

Six point. You're a six point something. Right, you're at least a point something more. No one's going to say. No one really comes out with the honest number. Because I'm happy to say I'm an 8.5. Jaden, good morning. How you guys?

Good. Now, this is why we asked our guys to call us. Yeah, we want you to rate yourself one out of 10. No, not one out of 10. From one to 10. On attractiveness. And then we want the person you're with to either confirm or deny. Oh, I think I'm a solid 10.

Oh, Jaden. Jane, what makes you a solid 10, Jaden? Oh. Confidence. I don't know. On an attractiveness scale. Okay, well, who's with you, Jaden? Who can we speak to to back this up?

Aaron, my apprentice. Oh, even he's your apprentice. He daren't speak ill of the boss. Can you pass the phone to Aaron, please? We want to confirm his attractiveness. Hey, g'day. Hey, Aaron. They sound like the same person, don't they?

He's doing some character work. Aaron, what do you think? Is Jaden a rock solid 10 out of 10? Well, I can tell you that's a massive bloody lie. Okay, so what's his attractiveness out of 10 then? Oh, I don't know. Maybe he'd be lucky to get a two. Oh!

Jay, hey, you're not getting a pay rise, Aaron. Yeah, you'll be lucky to keep your job. I think I've buggered myself now. Yeah, what have you done? A two. Are you being a bit harsh? Sure he's on a floor? I feel I'm being generous, to be honest.

Can we turn the old... Turn the tides. Turn the tides, yeah. What are you? Jaden, what do you rate yourself? Well, can you go higher than 10? Is that a thing? This is a cocky building.

This is a cocky work site, isn't it? Jaden, thanks for your call. And Aaron, Jacob, good morning Good morning Now out of 10 in attractiveness What do you rate yourself? I'd say a strong 6 Right, so like

Like the study, most say 5.9 out of 10, most guys You've got some traits you like about yourself A little bit above average Some traits you like about yourself. Some areas to work on. Who's with you now, Jacob? I've got Sam here. Sam. You work with Sam.

Let's pass the phone over. Yes, correct. Here he is. Hello. Hi, Sam. Sam. Sam, would you say that Jacob is a 6 out of 10 attractiveness? Yeah. When you guys

were talking before and I was thinking, shit, what am I going to say? I thought, yeah, you are about a 6, actually. Okay. Didn't want to bump him up just to start his week off right. You don't want to bump him up and say, you know, you're a 7, so that he's like, well, maybe I've been underselling myself.

7's heading into hot territory. Right. What's holding him back from a seven or an eight? Oh, I don't know. Maybe, I mean, people like heights, don't they? And we're both pretty small. Yeah. Okay. So maybe some.

I'm a very long woman. So you could, yeah, you could grow a bit. Yeah. Or just maybe some bigger work boots. Yeah, Jacob, if you could go and work on that and just grow up a bit. Thank you, Jacob and Sam. Let's go to Alex. Alex, good morning.

Good morning. How are we doing? Good. Now, you're in the car with your partner. Oh, this will be good. Yeah. So, okay, this is a good year. Now, what do you rate your self-attractiveness out of 10?

Oh, I'll do like a soft 6.8. A soft 6.8. So, a soft 6. If we were to Swedish round it, though, that'd be 7. A 7, yeah. We will round it. A 7, that's good. Now, would you pass this on to your partner?

Here we go. Hello. Hello. Hi, good morning. What's your name, partner? My name's Aldi. Aldi, like the car? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hello. Aldi, like the car? Yeah.

Oh, hello. Aldi, actually. It's my nickname, but I... Oh, right. Okay. Now, obviously Alex is your partner, so you're going to agree with this, right? You think he's a seven?

No, I'm going to disagree. What do you think? What do you think? I think he's a 9.8. So he's humble. He's humble, but he's taken. Aldi, you've made his day. I rated

9.8 because there's always room for improvement. You mark something 10. Bring it back down. I feel like you've got something specific in mind that he could improve on. Oh, here we go. His style seems a bit... His style.

...blank. Yeah. Get the boy to Helen Stein's. No, she just doesn't like how I wear, like, grey on grey or blue on blue. Oh, don't wear grey on grey. Life's too short for grey on grey. Are you wearing grey on grey? Like, grey track pants?

You're wearing blue on blue right now. What are you talking about? Blue on blue's fine. You have a booze on grey. No, I'm wearing blue on black. I'm wearing blue on black. Are you wearing on grey, like grey track pants. You're wearing blue on blue right now. What are you talking about? Blue's fine. Blue's not grey. I'm wearing blue on black. I'm wearing blue on black. Wouldn't they have the same tones of grey? Give this guy a break.

Wearing grey, it's a grey mood. You're... I'm wearing grey. Vaughn's wearing grey on grey. That's all good. I'm wearing grey on grey. Mark him down. Vaughn's a 5.5.

I'm a 5.5. To hell with them, Alex. Grey on grey all day on day. I appreciate it. There he is, my man. Well, I hope you Grey on grey all day on day. I appreciate it. There he is, my man. Well, I hope you have a grey day. My man. Well, Christmas sure is a time to get to know your family

a little bit better, isn't it? Whether you like it or not. And I said that like I didn't enjoy my Christmas. I did very much. I spent my Christmas with my partner's family. We go year on, year off. Sproul Christmas, Courtesy Christmas. This was didn't enjoy my Christmas. I did very much. I spent my Christmas with my partner's family. We go year on, year off. Sproul Christmas, courtesy Christmas. This was a courtesy Christmas.

And I found out something very strange about my sister-in-law, my partner's brother's wife. Yeah. So I don't know how we got to talking about this. Maybe we were sharing sort of weird skills. And she said, oh, here, I'll show you something. She got a piece of paper and she wrote at the speed of light, at the speed of normal

writing, mirrored. Like, totally mirrored. Not just backwards, like, yellier. The word mirrored. No, no, like... Yes, she was absolutely amazed. Someone could write the word mirrored. I wanted to share it on radio. No, but, yeah, she can write mirrored, like, from the right side of the page

to the left, but not only, like, yeah, she can write mirrored, like, from the right side of the page to the left, but not only, like, the words backwards, but the letters backwards. So if you held a mirror up to it. It would be perfect. It would be perfect. And I was like, she wrote so quickly, and we all had to go. So she would write left to right. No, right to left.

Right to left. So she was still writing, like, if she was writing the word radio, she would go R-A-D-I-O, but backwards. But backwards. Going from right to left. So she was still writing, like, if she was writing the word radio, she would go R-A-D-I-O, but backwards. But backwards and flipped. Going from right to left. Yeah, gotcha. All the letters flipped. Yeah. How the –

Why did you learn this? Because I remember learning that at school. If you got your – you know how they're always talking about the importance of your left and right part of the brain when I'm going to communicate. If you got two pens, one in each hand, and started – In the middle. In the middle. Oh, this would probably communicate. If you got two pens, one in each hand, and started in the middle, this would probably only work for right-handers, eh?

Because if you're left-handed, you don't write in that direction. Yes, you do. I'm left-handed. No, no, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is if you're using your left hand to write, you would then be asking yourself to write backwards with your left hand because you still write from left to right. But this only works if you're writing from right to left with your left. No, it's the same.

Why, but why did she... You're not moving the centre of the page. Why didn't she learn another language? This is never useful. So this is something that she taught herself to do and she said it was good for when she was at university because she'd have to really concentrate

on what she was writing when she was note-taking and that way she really learnt. Retained it. Retained the information, as opposed to me that would like, cram, exam, forget it. Yeah. Fascinating. Right, and she can do it like, do-do-do-do, like writing so fast.

We're getting her to write all these things. But surely it would be easier to write normal faster, right? Yeah, I don't know why she's kept it up, to be fair. It is a good tool. Because it's a cool skill. Yeah, she said as a woman in the corporate workplace, it was good because people often go... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

A woman in the corporate workplace? You heard me right. I'm sorry, she's got a better trick. You heard me right. She's a woman. But as a woman in the corporate workplace, you often get asked, you know, can you take minutes? What? Can you take minutes in the meeting? And she's not a secretary. Wait a minute. I was joking before about women in the corporate workplace, you often get asked, you know, you take minutes. What?

Can you take minutes in the meeting? And she's not a secretary. Wait a minute. I was joking before about women in the corporate workplace. Big fan of women, full stop, and everything they can do. Don't take back what you said. Yeah. But what did you say?

So they'd ask her to take minutes in a meeting. Primarily based on her gender. Yeah. So there's a bunch of dudes at the same level, but they'll be like, hey, Steph, you take notes. She would often be in a boardroom With all men And it would be just her As the only female in there

So she'd be allocated minute taker So she'd go fine And she'd write it in her Backwards weird mirrored writing Hand them over And there you go So they'd have to go to the bathroom And hold it to the mirror

And take a photo of it Yeah Could they take a photo of it And then flip it You could scan it And flip it Could they take a photo of it and then flip it? You could scan it. Scan it. Could you scan it and flip it? And then you could do a horizontal flip.

You put your thing down and flip it and reverse it. Yeah, yeah. Isn't it strange? What a strange skill to spend time. Yeah. It's cool. I would have learnt French. Yeah, learn a language.

Something useful. That's just something else you've got to write backwards though. But every now and then she still just does it as a preference. So she'll just choose like I'm going to write this way today. You've got to keep those skills up otherwise they fade. Did you get a Christmas card from her? No I didn't.

You should ask her on out. Bex can I have a Christmas card and I want it backwards. Everything she writes for you is backwards. That's cool. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. It's a big RIP.

Oh. Rest in peace to Dave Marks. Ring a bell? No. Dave Marks. Dave Marks, 96 years old, passed away at his Auckland home. I assume it's his home. It says in Auckland.

Okay. Hopefully he was at home. 96 years old. Not at the gym. No, no, not at 96. He wouldn't have. I don't think he'd be at the gym. You never know.

In the middle of a spin class or anything. Dave was a renowned boat builder, a competitive sailor, and a consummate craftsman. He built something that we've all seen. Yeah. That I have mocked. Okay. You like.

That should give you a real indication. Is it the bucket fountain? It's not the bucket fountain. Because I love that. Think other landmarks. Dost thou mocketh the bucket fountain? No, no, no, no, no, no. Dost thou noth?

I am from Wellington and I shall not stand for it, good sir. No, I like the bucket fountain. I'm a big fan of the bucket fountain. I know. What? The wind wand. Correct. Based on the Len Lye design, the Taranaki wind wand.

No, you're doing the Wellington wind wand thing. I'm doing the Wellington one that someone sat on and snapped. No, it got hit by lightning and it broke. No, someone sat on it. No one could sit on that. Yeah. How did someone mount the Wellington wind wand? No, no, no.

The wind thing by the airport. Look, Wellington is patched with Len Lye. Not the thing by the wharf that the guy climbed on. Yeah. That thing snapped. That thing snapped. The one by the airport, the thing by the wolf that the guy climbed on yeah that thing snapped that thing snapped the one by the airport the needle the wing needle no one's i was imagining someone mounting that oh i mean you'd come out your mouth i didn't mean. I've been mounted just like sitting on the bottom bulby part. Sorry.

We can't get your mouth. We've got a different picture in our heads. This will be a challenge. God. No, he built the Wellington wind wand based on the designs of Len Lye, famous. How would you describe Len Lye? Modern, abstract abstract sculpture.

Sculpture artist. What does he use as energy? Kinetic energy? Kinetic sculptures. Yeah, there you go. Well, it was in his 70s where he undertook making the waterfront of New Plymouth's famous wind wand, 45 metres tall.

This was not his first wind wand. Marks was asked to build it. I mean, this isn't Len Lye's first wind wand. This was Marks' first wind wand that he built, though. This is the nice fact of the day. At the age of 76 years old, while building the wind wand, it is estimated he walked the distance

from New Plymouth to Auckland and back as he strung fibres, wrapped tape, applied resin and sanded the wand smooth. He was 76 years old when he did that.

So just like lying the wand out and walking up and back, wrapping it, wrapping it and then treating it and then wrapping the tape and then he put in the resin on and walked back and forth, wrapping it. Oh, wow. Wrapping it and then treating it. And it all added up to like... Wrapping the tape and then he put in the resin on.

He walked back and forth, back and forth. Over the 45 metre wind once so many times. Sanded it as well. At the age of 76, they estimate that his footsteps, had he just been walking in a straight line, he would have been able to walk from Auckland to New Plymouth and back again. Wow.

And now you can see it on the waterfront. Yes. In New Plymouth, my hometown. Yes. And now you can see it on the waterfront. Yes. In New Plymouth, my hometown. Yes. What a fit man. A beautiful town. Of 76. Thank you.

And he lived for, how old did it say? 96. 96. So he lived for 20 more years after that. You've got to keep active. You've got to keep active. You've got to keep moving. Keep the joints.

Yeah. Lubricated. Don't stop. That's what that song was about. That's what the S Club 7 song was about. It was aimed at seniors. Don't Stop Moving. To that funky, funky beat.

Now, you choose your own beat. Do what you're going to walk to, but never stop moving. So today's fact of the day is the man that built the wind wand, Dave, passed away at the weekend. RIP to Dave. But at the age of 76, he walked the equivalent of Auckland to New Plymouth and back whilst making the wind wand. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Don't get Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here

Don't get Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here Well, look at that. Look at that, first day back. Look at that. First day back, still complaining. And he's still got something to whinge about. Still whinging.

Still got something to complain about. This, I think, is an issue a lot of people would have experienced when you go away with friends and everyone's like, we'll get an Airbnb. This will be great. We'll all get an Airbnb. And you're like, yes, we will. It'll be great. And then someone ends up in the bank room.

Yeah. I would like to now delve into Airbnb inequality. Inequity? Inequality. What's inequity and what's inequality? What's when you get the bunk and the other friends get the nice double bed, the queen size or the king size? It's BS is what it is.

It is BS. Unless you're in the king bed. Yeah, it's inequity. Lack of fairness. Yeah, unless. And justice. Yeah. See, I think if you're in a bunk with springs and no lumbar support...

And you've got a bad back. I've got a bad back. You know, I've got my lovely Sealy at home. Yeah. And, you know, you've got a foam squab. I should be paying at most $10. At most $10! What is the split, though?

What is the overall cost? I don't actually, we haven't been invoiced for our Airbnb stay, but I shall certainly not be paying any more than $10. So you ended up in the little broken baby bunk? Yes, with Vaughn and his wife and producer Jared. We all got the baby bunks. I took my foam mattress off because there was no way that top bun was supporting me. Oh, no, there was no way you were to come crashing down on me.

I just put the floor on the mattress. But the situation was that at the end of this kayak down the Whanganui River, we went and sat in Ohakune. Beautiful. To enjoy a relaxing evening before the drive back. And I jokingly said, well, the Airbnb's got to have a spa and underfloor heating. Now, a spa did not go amiss.

Because I sat in that and really made a man soup of it. That was lovely. The spa was great. Oh, I saw that. I noticed you weren't in there. No, because it looked like someone had tipped like a litre of cream into the top of the spa pool. I spilt my sour cream. Froppy coffee.

I drank my milkshake. It was disgusting. But we remained it. But the underfloor heating, I was only joking. But then apparently it was very hard to find a place that could accommodate that many people with underfloor heating. But there were seven of us. Yes. But the room that we were in was for kids.

Yes. But so hence my issue. I'm paying no more than $10. But I mean, how do you work it out? We've done this where we've gone on holiday with three couples. There's six of you. Yeah. And you're never going to find an Airbnb with three king-size beds.

No. There's always going to be a couple in the two singles in the kiddie room. But so should they pay less? But will you travel with them again? I'd travel with them again. Because then that's the rule. The next time you go, whoever missed out gets guaranteed a good bed. But what if they're more petite than you?

I mean, look at Aaron. He's a big boy. He's got a bad back. So often we get sort of pick of the crop for the bets. Big boy, bad back. It's like a flat. If someone has the room with the ensuite and the bigger room, they should pay a little bit more, right?

You're right. Yeah, but that's a greater point before moving into the flat. This is just arriving at the Airbnb. I would refuse to pay, Fletch. I don't think you should pay a damn dime. Well, no, I'm no more than maybe $20. Also, I didn't use the spa, so maybe $15. So you didn't even enjoy the facility?

Well, like I said, it looked creamy. A creamy man soup. Have you not broken out in a rash? This is not the first time that we would have enjoyed a creamy man soup. Over the years. Over the years, we've enjoyed more than our first year of creamy man soups. There was more than enough room. I hope I never have to go away with you two.

I'm not helping in this soup. Everybody was in the spa. You've got to get into the soup. I'm not going to be the spring onion. In this man soup. In this frothy man soup. I think it's an issue that if you're going away with friends and an Airbnb, you've got to raise this issue.

Or draw straws. Draw straws would be... That's fair. Yeah, but then I'll sulk if I get the little straw. That's you. That's on you. And, well, my drunk purchase has arrived. Oh, God, I've done some terrible ones of those as of late.

Cheapest. Did you hear that thud? I felt it. This package contains good times. It's from the Adult Toy Megastore. That's interesting. I've got a heavy package. It's very heavy.

Yeah. Where are you putting that? I'll say it's booze. No. It's Koob. K-U-B-B. Have you guys played this over summer? I've played Koob. I feel like-B-B. Have you guys played this over summer? I feel like everybody's playing this.

No, but man, has it been cool to watch everybody else put up photos of them playing it. Hey, don't be sad. Don't be a sad guy. I feel like you would love this game. Throwing wood at wood. Yes, so you have like the king Koob in the middle, and then you have your sticks that are either in your throat, and you've got to knock them down. There's all kinds of rules. What do you get for knocking the king cube in the middle and then you have your sticks that either in and you throw them you got to knock them down

yeah there's all kinds of rules what do you get for knocking the king over well you win the game unless you knock it over early it's

like sinking the black and pull yeah naughty are there other sticks you have to knock over as well yeah with a stick whose sticks

other teams the other teams so they're the same sticks that they throw at your sticks yes then you throw them back how do they stand

up in the sand in the ground in the grass or the sand so you needed an even playing surface So they're the same sticks that they throw at your stick? Yes. Then you throw them back. And how do they stand up? In the sand, in the ground. In the grass or the sand. Right, so you needed an even playing surface. You need a flat playing surface. Yeah, right. But yeah, so I ended up playing this for the first time over the holidays and we had to get LED lights out. Hang on.

And we were playing until like 11 o'clock midnight. Don't you live in an apartment? Because it was the best of five. No, I was at a friend's place. It's not an apartment game. But you've just bought a set. Oh, yeah, I bought a set. You know that you're allowed to go outside when you have an apartment.

No, you don't. No, you go in, you lock the doors, and you don't talk to anyone. And you stay there. This is true. So how many people do you play with? Well, you can play one-on-one, but it's probably more fun with teams. Yeah. Because I think you get six sticks. So how many people do you play with? Well, you can play one-on-one, but it's probably more fun with teams. Okay. Yeah.

Because I think you get six sticks. And there's YouTube videos that show you how to play. And you have to underhand. Yeah, you have to underhand. You can't bat. And you're not allowed to throw the bat in sideways. Yeah, you can't. Because that would be easier.

Yeah, because it's going sideways. Yeah. Like bat down. Yeah. You've got to go like that. It's a great game. It's actually Swedish, which is probably why

I connect with it So much You are a Swede Because my Ancestry.com Spit test says I'm 8% Swedish Oh

So that explains everything Probably why I'm good At the game Viking chess Is another Yeah Some people call it Viking chess

It's great And like Obviously like The sales of it online Over summer Have just gone crazy Because it's just Everywhere now

So is there a bit Of a lawn bowls buzz? In the fact that it's not too physically draining, but you don't need the perfect green to bowl on. Yeah, you would just, well, we had a bit of a lumpy lawn. That's no offence to my friend's lawn. Yeah, but it goes in the favour of one team, doesn't it, the lumpy lawn? Well, no, you swap ends, though. You can swap ends.

So you make it fair for both teams. Okay, I still don't understand. There's boundary sticks? So you put them in corners? Are you allowed to place your cubs on your line? Are you allowed to group them all in one corner? No, you put them evenly.

You put them evenly. Who decides on the even spread? And is the field size the same every time? Like is it roughly five metres across? Yeah, there's a guide. Okay, how to set it up. You sort of mark out. You see, I think you'd love this game.

I could see you playing this. I love throwing things. You love throwing things. As long as it's not too far. So you're going to knock over all the other quibs and then you go for the king? Yes. Okay.

And then if you knock it over, you're one. How do you make this a drinking game? You just drink while you're playing it. You drink the whole time. Okay. Okay. And then if you knock it over, you're one. Then you are victorious. How do you make this a drinking game? You just drink while you're playing it. You drink the whole time. Okay. Yep. Like most... And then it's like Paul, there's a sweet spot where you're really good. And then you're really bad.

Yeah.