ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 17th March 2022

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Now you may have picked up a few, you've got a detective's ear. Fletch sounds a little different.

He's not in studio with us this morning, and he's also riddled with COVID. I've got the vid. You are more virus than man. I've never seen, when you put up a photo of your rat, I've never seen such a dark line. I know. Well, you know what they say, if you've got a big, thick red line,

you've got COVID-19. Oh, right. Sorry. You've got a big, Oh right, sorry You've got a big thick COVID infection Yeah Because we've had a couple of false scares on our group chat The other day, Vaughn, you messaged Fuck! Oh no, don't worry about it, it's fine

Yeah Because the way that it was filling up It was the first, I went to Who changed the type of tests? We've got new ones here NZME, where we do the radio So I've done a few of the different tests TVNZ's ones are still good because the-

Thin Nuss Prada. The Prada is so thin. That was the one I got all the way back down into my throat. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's the government ones. Yeah, the government ones in the box, they've got a thick Nussie. Big, thick Nussie. A real thick Nussie.

Yeah, it's a big bud. Big bud. So, and then these other ones where you put your snussey juice drips in, and they were red as they filled. And I was like, oh, my fuck, I'm so riddled it's infected the whole thing. The whole thing's red. Then it all went white, which was thankful. So I had had that.

Well, my liquid ran up past the control line, and that filled up. And then when it got to the test line that shows you positive, it just instantly went and started filling. And I was like, oh, fuck. And so I did another one as well. I did throat as well. Hey, now when we do the throats, explain to me your technique for the throat.

I've done a couple of throats since you got positive. I'm still negative. You were gagging. I was gagging. I'm terrible. I was gagging. You just go like the doctor You go ah

And then just swab the back of your ear Around the droppy down bit Well I didn't So we're not aiming For the actual back of the cavern Just the entrance to the cave Yeah I think so I mean don't

Quote me on that Bit of tongue Bit of roof I was so deep I was holding it With pinched fingers Right on the end of the swallow No

You don't need to You don't need to be that deep. No, I'm a sword swallower. You can look online. There's little instructional videos. Dr. Susie Wiles, also Dr. Ashley Bloomfield have said, around the throat first and then in each noosey down. You don't noosey then throat

because that's just yuck. No, because you're putting snot in your throat. Ew, you're going to get mouth thrush. But we all get snot. We all accidentally eat snot. That's where the snot drains. That was gross. I'm just saying it's where the snot drains to. It's not somebody else's snot. Don't share a

swab. Did you say I just had to swallow down what I just put out there? I know. A lot of people have symptoms but don't get the positive rat tests. So the throat just gives you a bit of extra. But yeah, so now we've done the show. I've just got to stay at home now for seven days. I can't leave.

What are you going to do with yourself without going into too much detail? A lot of neon, a lot of TV. Yeah. Maybe do all those things. You know when you never clean the house, like the little nooks and crannies? Yes, the skirting boards and the lines. Yeah, you do all those things Like you know when you Never clean the house Like the little nooks and crannies Yes The skirting boards And the lines

Yeah you never clean those Maybe I'll do those Are you allowed to go For a little No A walk A little YY Express No

Because you're You've got it Oh bugger mate So yeah You're going to get so fat And honestly this is the Come up and say you want it Because you've been shredding

I reckon every day We're sending him a chocolate-based gift bag. And while he's away, we'll shred. Yeah, we're shredding. I lose all these kgs, and now I have to stay at home for seven days with biscuits. It's a real reward. Well, that's all right. We'll make sure we reinforce your chair before you come back next week. All right.

All good, all good. Thank you, guys. All right, and Fletch, we were having troubles, what you're about to hear, on the actual show. For the first, like, half hour of the show, we couldn't get Fletch's... Oh, it's a fucking nightmare. I was...

I could watch you guys and hear, but you guys couldn't hear me. It was... A, it was fun because we could see Fletch panicking about his absolute lack of control over the entire situation, and I had fun. I feel like it made you miss me, though. Yeah, we did miss you. It was also like the kids

at camp, but the guidance counselors are gone. And you took the van and you're 13 and you've never driven before. It's kind of like that. It felt good. Play ZN's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, good morning. welcome to the show.

Woohoo! Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch is at home. We are, what do you call this? Troubleshooting. Are we troubleshooting? We're ironing out some wrinkles. Fletch, can you hear us? He's on a Zoom. He can hear us, but we can't hear him. Hey, you, you little meanie, you big dum-dum.

Oh, wow. I can see his face on the zone. Fletch isn't here because he has COVID. He wins the COVID kitty. Yeah, we can have a little kitty. $35, all of us collectively put in five bucks

to the first person who gets COVID. Fletch can tell us when we can hear him. What? Oh, he's going to call. Hang on. Hi, guys. Have you called the radio station to win before? Because your name's up when your number called,

when your number rang. I don't know, maybe. Is it secret sound? Time for the secret sound? No, it's not. You're a bit early, babe. Oh, sorry. I was hoping you could put me on hold.

That's coming up at 7 and 8 this morning. Your chance to win. Secret Sound. Fletch, before I continue to watch Vaughan, just actually run this ship. I'm loving it. You know the name of the captain that was captain in the Titanic when it crashed? Vaughan.

Captain Smith. Oh, dear. Uh-oh. Fletch, what are you going to spend your $35 COVID kitty on? I don't know. I'm thinking lollies is in the lead at the

moment. Lollies? Lollies. When's the last time you spent $35 on lollies? No, this is true. I think that's a good

use of the money. I don't think I've ever spent $35 on lollies. Yeah. Well, I'm going to need something. I'm locked up for

seven days. Hey, if you're going to fake this, you know, you're probably going to need something. I'm locked up for seven days. Hey, if you're going to fake this, you know, you're probably going to need a cough or sniff or something a bit more. Yeah. Yeah, there's the media shill taking Jacinda's money. In reality, how are you feeling? At the moment, like, I've got a really bad cold,

like, snuffy, stuffy, runny nose. You know you didn't have to get up to do work today, right? Because you're setting an unreal precedent for Hayley and I who have both decided the minute there's that second red line, we're off. We're off the radar. You're sleeping in. Yeah.

Well, I mean, at the moment I'm fine, but yeah, we'll see. Are you though? We'll see how it goes. You need a reason. I don't know. That's what they're all saying. All right, what are we talking about, Vaughn? Well, coming up on the show, Hayley, is the top six.

The top six reasons I, Vaughn Smith, would be a fantastic new National Party financial spokesperson. You've got a lot of confidence, don't you? I'm a white, arrogant piece of shit, Hayley, and that's like the absolute leading charge. But next, new emojis. There's some new emojis, and some of them are a bit weird, so I'm going to tell you what they are and how to use them.

And usually Fletch does this at another time to the show, but I would like to tell you the show is all thanks to McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's. No. We're changing how we do things, baby! It's ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Good morning. Fletch isn't here. Fletch isn't here. He's got COVID. Yeah. He's got the two red lines, the dreaded two red lines. So we're just trying to figure out. We're getting a guy called Chris Bradley down here.

We're waking Chris Bradley up. Lovely Chris Bradley. You guys will never have heard of him. He is like the guy dressed in black at a stage show oh yes absolutely controls everything without whom

the whole show would fall apart but a nameless hero yes that would never be me I should never be a nameless hero no no no

limelight Hayley James Brown the name up in lights and then a limelight on the name and another limelight on you yes

hey we talked about this a while ago that there was an announcement. There were some new emojis. And some of them are a little bit confusing. And now they should be in your update. They're ready to use. Did I update last night?

Because you guys did the update yesterday and you did your face masks. Oh, yes. So if you've got an Apple iPhone, the latest update allows you to have a face ID with a mask on so that you're not sort of in the bank or in the supermarket pulling your mask down so you can use PayWave. Yeah, that's always good when you are self-served, but you've got to get them over because you've bought booze.

Yes. And then you go to pay, but they haven't moved out of your bubble yet, and you pull your mask down and it's unnecessary exposure. Absolutely. So the new emojis,'re here They're ready to use Some of them are a little bit strange There's like What's the

What's this painting You know God touching Michelangelo Michelangelo's Finger God fingers Adam God fingers Adam

That's We've got those there And A troll Some weird ones But The troll they say can be used when you're losing your mind. So if you send a text

that's like, hey guys, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this and they send a troll, you're like I've lost my mind. You're a little goblin-y. Yeah, I've turned into a little crazy troll. Of course there's the lip bite. That's exclusively for sexy times.

The disco ball, which means let's go dancing, obviously. But there's some that are sort of strange. There's a slide, which you would use if you were sort of sliding into someone's DMs, like a little-

Like a playground slide. A little plastic blue. Yeah, an independent ladder slide situation. Yeah. So all you would do is like, I would like open up someone's account, slide emoji, and you'd be like, what a sense of humour on this guy.

Cute, sliding into my DMs. Let's go out for a drink. Another one is a cup-pouring liquid, which they're saying you can use it to be like, I'm drained, man, my cup is empty. I'm done. What kind of liquid is coming out of the cup? I want to say it looks like a delicious Pinot Noir.

Oh, okay. Like an Otago. That also could be sort of a screw you. Imagine being poured onto white carpet. Oh, okay. Yeah, good luck getting this out. Yeah, there you go. Another weird one they have is just an empty jar.

And they're saying it's a romantic thing. Like, I don't know. I don't know what they say. They said send it to your date and see what happens. Okay. A jar. An empty jar. Does it have a lid on it?

Like a mason jar. A mason jar? A preserving jar? Yeah. If anyone can tell us why an empty jar would be a flirtatious emoji to send. Honey? Honey? Is it honey related?

Be the honey in my jar? Be fill my jar? Fill me up buttercup? I'm an empty jar? Don't let me go? This in my jar. Be, fill my jar. Fill me up, buttercup. I'm an empty jar. Don't let me go. This is my jar of emotion, sir. I think we've nailed it. Yeah, done it, done it.

You can see what, somebody just messaged in. It's not called God Fingers Adam. It's called The Creation of Adam. I'm pretty sure it's God Fingers Adam. I think when Michelangelo finished it, he looked up and at the ceiling and he went, Cowabunga, dudes. We're going to go stop Shredder.

I just painted this. It's called Godfinger's Adam. Absolutely. And Raphael's like, come on, man. We've got to get out of here. That sort of stuff. I will say if you have the downward facing hand, you sort of get Godfinger's Adam vibes. If you have the up one, it's sort of a gentle cupping.

A light cupping. So you could use that how you please. Or money please. That's how I'm going to use it. Send it to my dad. Hey dad. Hey dad.

Money please. How about it? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. The show brought to you by McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's.

What do you reckon? That was good. I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. I like the sharing responsibility. I feel like Fletch has been hogging these fun little things where you say, he's a little hoggy piggy, pig boy, and we're just sharing them.

Now he's paid the ultimate price. This, I believe, is also a quality. White male. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Chit, chit, chit, chit, chit. Yeah, not not letting you know wahine such as yourself have a go at it

I'm more than happy for you to take you know more than your fair share of responsibility on the show yeah thank you I think a majority

I think men have spoken too much and even now I realise that I am a man speaking too much yeah you're actually speaking over me yeah

at this point that's kind of what I realise thank you Vaughan I would hate to do that thank you Vaughan and thank you McCafe two big thanks a couple of big thanks a couple of big thanks That's kind of what I realised. Thank you, Vaughan. I would hate to do that. Thank you, Vaughan, and thank you, McCafe.

Two big thanks. A couple of big thanks. A couple of big thanks. This is a great story out of Texas. Texas in the States, obviously. I was going to say musician. Magician, even hotter. A magician whose main skill is like slide of hand stuff.

Okay. You said slide of hand? Slight. Oh, I thought you like slide of hand stuff. Okay. You said slide of hand? Slight. Oh, I thought you said slide of hand. Slide. And I was going to take great. And telling me I've learnt that wrong? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, slight of hand.

Slight of hand. You didn't. That's his forte. And he actually used it to swindle Walmart employees. So he'd go into Walmart in one outfit and he would pay by cash for what he gave and then they would give him his change and then he'd go magic because he's a wizard.

And then he would go- No, no, no, he's a magician. Same thing. No, slightly different. Same thing. Agree to disagree. Potato, potato. Yeah.

I mean, that's what Harry Potter went to the school of Hogwarts, the school of magicianry. Yes. Yes. Same thing.ree to disagree Potato, potato Yeah I mean that's what Harry Potter went to the school of Hogwarts The school of magicianry Yes Yes Same thing So he would And then he would go Oh sorry I think you've actually given me the wrong change

And he's slight of handed some of the change into a separate pocket And they don't notice it And they go oh my god I'm so sorry And then they give him a bit more change and then he leaves Then he had another outfit in his car He would get changed Go back into Walmart and do it again.

And he did it again and again and again until they did the cashing up at the end of the day and they went, we're short. He did it all in one day. Yeah. How much did he make? Because it feels like if he was only getting changed. On two different occasions he did this. But numerous times each day.

And then he came back a month later, did it again numerous times on that day. So it was quite a bit of money at the end. I mean, I'm not talking thousands. They haven't said how much it is, but in the hundreds. And they only realised when they were cashing up and they're like, what's happened? And so they went back on their security cameras and were like, that's the same guy who keeps coming in and out. And so they released security footage of him doing this and they're literally like asking the public,

if you know this wizard, let us know. Oh, they still haven't caught this wizard? They haven't caught the wizard. Well, they've used the word magician, but I'm choosing wizard. If you have any information or recognise this magician, you can contact Detective Schramm at American House. Oh, this is an open case? It's an open case.

This is like an international cry for help? We will be updating our listeners as to whether or not this wizard is caught. Well, if Harry Potter taught us anything, those wizards, they can, like, get from one place to another through fireplaces. Yeah. You know? The Weasleys did that through the fireplace. He could be anywhere.

They just twiddle their noses. Yeah, yeah. And turn into cats and stuff. Turn into cats. This magician could be, you know, he's three for the wind. He could be flying amongst the stars at the moment on his broomstick. I mean, I think, again, you might have got sort of like the whole idea of magic slightly confused.

Yes. More of a witch's. Mind you, Harry did fly in that Quidditch match. Yeah, I know. And I'm pretty sure that was a documentary that followed a kid through his high school years for seven years. I don't think flying on a broomstick is gender specific.

It's sore on the fanny though. You think it's sore on the fanny? You'd want a bit of padding. Yeah, but yeah, actually it's a bit cool. Imagine for the lads. Actually, that's a very good call. What side are we going? But then I always think like bike seats,

you mean you just pull it all forward. Are we happy with where this conversation's headed? We're getting some shaking hands. Usually Fletch would be telling us to stop but he's not here

and I worry that without Fletch to handbrake, Hayley and I could... Yeah, we'll be having words. Maybe you should leave your mic on and just when it starts getting a little bit wayward,

you should be like, guys... Bit of that. I also think, I've already, you told me off before we even went on air, before 6am, Hayley, you say the word fanny too much. And I would like to say that Vaughan actually brought that word into the studio. And would you believe I was in the middle of making a message to you

saying no more F word. But I was trying to be an ally. Oh, I feel empowered as a result. Thank you for saying that word. That's all I came here to do today. Yeah. You're a hero. Empower females.

Done. I think this is great. I feel like the kids, the kids have been left at home alone. Except there's two Macaulay Culkins. Next on the show, we're talking about influencers, the stuff they influence.

Shocking. Not always what they say it is. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You're with Vaughn and Hayley in studio. Yeah, let's not even mention him. He who shall not be named is not here. He's on the Zoom. The best part about it is I wasn't doing this previously,

but now I can watch him. Yeah, I can see. We can see you, Fletchy. He's a control freak. He's got a little bow on his head. Oh, no, he's not listening to us. I think he's trying to sort something out technically. Oh, I see.

But it is pretty fun. You're looking good, though. He's such a control freak. COVID's working for him. He's got a fresh t-shirt on, his biceps are popping. Yeah. Oh, now he's taking a phone call. Oh, shit.

Uber Eats. I know, I know. He's trying to do it. Well, he's got to now, doesn't he? Oh, he's on the phone. Hey, Fletchy. Oh, yeah. I'm witnessing this.

How do you think we're going so far? I like this a lot. Well, it's a bit phone. Oh yeah, I'm witnessing this. How do you think we're going so far? I like this a lot. Well, it's a bit loose. Do you guys like my Zoom background and my cute bandana? You've got a tropical island in the background. It looks windy though. Yeah, very windy. I've had to go in my beret.

Is that what you call them? It depends what island you're on. It would be a beret on some islands in Samoa. It would be a fale. Oh yeah, I'm in my fale. It's a bit windy. Well, it depends what island you're on. It would be a beret on some islands in Samoa. It would be a fale, a beach sofa. Oh, yeah, I'm in my fale. It's a bit windy. Well, there's your clue as to where he's taken himself. Beautiful.

I love that you're just sort of listening in, but without calling, you can't speak. So we've gone rogue. And zero control. Yeah, look, it's a bit loose, but, look, I mean, well, hopefully we're just working behind the scenes to sort this out. So hopefully the ship will be steadied soon. Oh, we love that. All right, well, hang up. We're going to's a bit loose, but, look, I mean, well, hopefully we're just working behind the scenes to sort this out, so hopefully the ship will be steadied soon. Oh, we love that.

All right, well, hang up. We're going to do a bit here and just see how it goes. Okay. Cut him off, Benny. Yeah, next call. Silence! That was a savage dumping, too. That wasn't even a see you later, hang up.

That was just a savage dumping. Hey, here's a new study. Can you tell me about your new studies? I'm going to tell you about it. You know I can't get enough of these new studies. So a scientist, nutritionist, and athlete, all in one woman. This woman, Nyasha is her name. Like God.

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. She is the nutritionist. What was the other one? Scientist. Scientist and the athlete. And the athlete. Where does she find the time? So you've got to go,

she cares about health. With all of these areas in her life, she loves health. So she conducted her own research looking into influences and what they're promoting. And who's promoting what on social media in terms of unhealthy lifestyle.

So the way she did it, she took 100 musicians, 100 athletes, and 100 of the top influencers in the world. And she uploaded all of their data into this program and looked for keywords about the kind of stuff that they were promoting. And what she found was influencers promote the most unhealthy foods out of any of those people, out of anyone. So they're promoting.

Yeah, but that's because chips have money. Celery doesn't have any money. Big chip money. Yeah, yeah, big chip money. Chips have flushed with cash. It's literally to chips. What's that? How many influencers do you see like plug in a bag of killers?

It was simply an example of how unhealthy food has more money. When I wake up in the morning, I feel like nothing more than a honey soy chicken kettle chip. Chip, yeah, I do. Honey soy chicken? The only chicken flavor I like. You're out of control. I'm anti-chicken flavored chips,

but I don't mind a honey soy chicken chip. Honey soy chicken chip? Yeah. Any time of the day. I think any chicken chip is absolutely wrong. You can't insert the juice of a chicken into a chip. I've got to be honest with you. I'm on Big Chip money.

Oh, yeah. Do you want to do a plug? Do you want to, like, tick off a plug? Yeah, just chips. On a whole. They're paying me so much money, I can't be loyal to one brand of chip. I'm just potato chips. Big potato chip money.

Hey, we've just got a message from Jared saying that Fletch should be working now. Am I working? No, I don't like this. Remove Fletch from the show. What? Am I working? Yes. Yeah, you're working.

Can you hear us? Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, we've got to adjust a few levels, but I think we're nearly there. What do you need from us? You probably need me louder. No, you're too loud. Too loud. And Hayley's nearly right. Okay're nearly there. What do you need from us? You probably need me louder. No, you're too loud. And Hayley's nearly right. Okay, nearly right, I'll take.

Your nearly right is not indicative of if she needs to go up or down. God, we are living in the future, aren't we? I'm in my house. It only took us 28 minutes to start living in the future. We got there. At 28 minutes past six. Look, we're glad you're here. But we've just learned that influencers aren't, you know,

the pillars of society that we're being led to believe they are. This is a shocking news to me. I'm one of them, of course. So most athletes were promoting things like healthy eating, fruits, vegetables, and water. Yeah. Musicians were often advertising alcohol. And crack.

And influencers were focusing more on things like snacks, unhealthy treats, and energy drinks. I'm surprised sports people, athletes, didn't get pinged a little bit more because they promote things like, I don't want to throw. Energy drinks. Yeah, I don't want to throw Nutri-Grain under the bus here, but Nutri-Grain. And that might be fine if you are indeed an Ironman, but if you're just the chubby little 19-year-old living in a flat with three of your best friends in the years 2001

and you're eating a dog bowl of Nutri-Grain every day, you're going to go away. You should. It's like when the All Blacks were like, how many can you eat with Weet-Bix?

I was like, don't promote people that don't work out to be trying to hoon eight slabs of Weet-Bix. I'm going to go and sit on my fat ass in an office job

for nine hours and I can punish 12. Yeah. Yeah. And sugary drinks. Yeah. Like your Gatorades and your Powerades and stuff. Well, this scientist, nutritionist athlete was like 40% of Instagram users are between the age of 13 and 24 years old.

Highly influential. Influential? No. Highly susceptible to influence. Oh, right. Influential. Influential? No. Highly susceptible to influence. Oh, right. Influential. Influenza. Correct.

That's what we'll say tomorrow. They're highly influenzaed. And so it's not good. And so if you're going to follow people, you want to head more towards the athletes than the influencers. Yeah, but sometimes I find athletes, you know, get held up as these pillars of society,

but then their moral compass might be a bit skew-ish. Oh, they are. They're shagging everyone about town. Yeah, that's kind of where I was going with this. Yeah. I'd just like to spell it out for you. Yeah. All right, 6.30, ZM's $50,000 secret.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I think we were doing that today. No, and it was an absolute nightmare. No, jeez. It was all over the show. I don't like cafes. ZM secret. Buddy, jeez. It was all over the show. I don't like cafes. Buddy, Putin's back, guys. Putin's back.

You're broadcasting from home today, Fletch. I just see on the Zoom there you've rolled your sleeves up. Yeah, oh, it's hot in here, mate. I've got the fan on. Yeah. You've got the sleeves up. Sleeveless tees and radio, I'll tell you. That's been a while.

It's been a while. I was a class to look good in the early 2000s. To be fair, though, Fletch has been smashing it at the gym. I'd be getting my guns out if they looked like that. Well, I think that's probably why I have COVID. Please don't say that. We go to the same gym. I know.

And you were there yesterday, too. I was. Well, David O'Reilly is a man who writes stories. That was a smooth segue. Wow. He has recently written about male IQs versus female IQs and also how you would estimate your own intelligence using the IQ test as the scale.

And men, surprise, surprise, overestimate their intelligence on a whole far more than women who underestimate their intelligence. Yeah, but because we know we're born with a smaller brain. Well, that was literally like that was 100 years ago. Women had a smaller skull on average than men that's that was literally like that was a hundred years ago. Women had a smaller skull on average than men, so that was the comparison. You're dumber. Yeah, and then of course, if that was true, elephants and blue

whales would be scientists. Because they've got the biggest skulls of them all and they're both mammals as well. I mean, they live underwater, so I'm not sure if they'd be scientists, but they'd be very intelligent. Underwater, yeah. Underwater scientists. Oh, I stand corrected.

A big part. They're so smart. They'd work out how to make waterproof pens and such. That's their first focus as underwater scientists with the biggest brains in the world. Underwater pens. Have you guys ever done, like, the IQ test? Yes. Do you remember your IQ? Not really. Have you guys ever done like the IQ test? Yes Do you remember your IQ?

Not really It's a very American thing, eh? Because I don't know what my IQ is No, neither I remember doing it and then redoing it but knowing all the answers and doing it way quicker

and getting it all right but my IQ didn't change And then you got a Mensa membership No, it was just You're an average Joe Yeah, it was just still like, hmm. You're an average Joe. Yeah, it was just average. But so how they did this is they had a whole lot of men and women do the IQ test,

and then they plotted out a graph showing, you know, where everybody's scores were. But they were just black dots. These are the scores, and these are the lines of average. You know, if you fit within this, you're fine. Below this, you're a bit dumb-dumb. Above this, you're smart. And then they said, where do you think your dot is? And the men were like, my dot's gotta be up here. I'm like, upper

echelon smart, or this is me, like, above the smart. And the women were like, well, I'm just a pretty little lady. I don't have much going on upstairs. And so they circled lower. And then when they said, well, actually, this is your dot,

men were humbled. Oh, wow. Yeah. And women were like, oh, okay, cool. But the IQ test only looks at, like, book smarts, doesn't it? Maths, English, that kind of stuff. I thought it was

more street smart. You're right. Yeah, same. Street IQ test. I can tell you're street smart, Fletch, with that bloody tank top on. You're ready for a game time. There's a guy that knows the streets. Yeah. Yeah, so they said when they showed them the results,

they were very humbled. And then, yeah, he's looked into the background of it, and he's literally, it's just like male like privilege and arrogance. I think if there's one thing I know about men as well, they love to be humbled. They handle a humbling so fantastically. So well. Oh, that's within their

emotional intelligence. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, to really be humble. They should do, especially by a woman, an emotionally, emotional intelligence IQ test. Yes. Because I'd really... Street smarts, emotional smarts.

Oh, I'm not going to bother with that. Not English. No, you don't have... I've done English all wrong. Me not do emotion. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

Yesterday, after Simon Bridges announced his retirement from politics, still believe there's a scandal. No scandal. You think there's a scandal? That's not what I said. What's a scandal? There's something anyway. There's more to it.

Maybe him and Clark are up to no good together. Oh, maybe they're on home detention together. Maybe they're doing home... Yes, they're both got ankle bracelets on. He's Tauranga's MP and yesterday there was that 700kg coke bust. Oh, damn. No, it's just he's never

going to be the top dog, so why would you stick around? He wanted to be leader. Mate, there's people in that, in lots of parties, not just the National Party, the Labour Party. These parties have these people that will do a career of F all. They're more than happy to sit there and collect a clip the National Party, the Labour Party. These parties have these people that will do a career of F all. They're more than happy to sit there and collect the ticket and collect the cheque.

Nah, he's going to get a private job, make some money. Oh, you reckon private sector? Yeah. What a National Party member loves leaving to go to the private sector. He's good at New Zealand. He could? He could. He could run that show. Totally could. Oh yeah, power play. Take that, Luxon. Well, I want the top six've got the top six reasons why

the top six reasons why Yvonne Smith would have been a great National Party finance spokesperson. Nicola Willis got the job. Nicola Willis got it. Number six on the list of the top six reasons I would have been great. White, bald, male. Oh, that makes so much

sense. Yeah, but they can't have two thumbs running the place. No, I've got a beard, which stops me being a thumb. Yeah. Right, okay. I'm a hairy potato, not a thumb. Okay. But, I mean, that's all my CV has ever said. Hairy potato, not a thumb.

White-balled male. Oh, okay. Yeah, Ron Smith, white-balled male. White-balled male, what do you want? Yeah, what do you want? From a dairy background, grew up on a farm, rural background. Oh, perfect. Yeah, hello, I can do any job in New Zealand. Perfect. I dare you want? Yeah, what do you want? From a dairy background. Grow up on a farm. Rural background. Perfect.

Yeah, hello. I can do any job in New Zealand. Perfect. Dare to tell me I can't. Number five on the list of the top six reasons I'd be a great National Party finance spokesperson. I can name all the people on the notes. Five. Edmund Hillary.

Ten. Oh, those notes. Kate Sheppard. Twenty. The Queen and the Kia. Fifty. Sir Aparana Nata, 100. Lord Ernest Rutherford.

I'll do the 10 cent piece. Tiki face. Tiki face? Yeah. That's 20 cent. It's a taniwha. Taniwha. Taniwha.

Not tiki face. You're cancelled and you don't have the job. That's the face of the, when you buy a tiki, when you buy a tiki, it's the face. National, did you hear him say tiki face? What did he really mean when he said tiki face? That white bald guy. Yeah. Moving on, I'm pretty happy to just move on now.

Number four on the list of the top six reasons I'd be a great National Party finance spokesperson. I once found $20 I'd forgotten about in my jeans at the start of jeans season. Right. So that shows I can save. Very good. I put $20 in that little, this little key pocket. Oh, that bizarre pocket.

Yeah. A little coin pocket. I folded up $20 and I put it in there and then didn't wear the jeans all summer. Hello, autumn. Hello, $20. Wow. So I'm just saying I can save.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six reasons I'd be a great National Party finance spokesperson. I'll carry a purse with all the money in it. I'm secure enough for my sexuality. I don't care. I'll carry a purse. Oh, you look good with a purse.

Yeah, I'll carry the National purse. Yeah. Yeah, I'll just carry it around. Is there a checkbook in there? Oh, absolutely. Or the country's ATM cards? Yeah. Yeah, I'll carry it. A couple of rope tampons? Yeah. I've always got a tampon on hand.. Yeah. Yeah, I'll carry it.

A couple of rope tampons. Yeah, I've always got a tampon on hand. Every purse. Yeah, why not? That's just the kind of guy I am. Ally. Number two on the list of the top six reasons I'd be a great National Party finance spokesperson.

I once saved up, when I was a kid, I saved up $80 in preserving jars to buy a Sonic the Hedgehog video game. Now that shows you through perseverance, I saved up money. Yeah. What more do you need? I reckon the country needs a little bit more than 80.

Even with inflation, this was like the early 90s. So with inflation, the way it is, that $80 would now be a million dollars. I don't think that's quite where we're at with the inflation. I think you'll find if we're at with the inflation. I think you'll find if you run the calculations.

Right. Roughly. White-balled male. No, that's fair. And I will listen to you. Great counter-argument. And number one on the list of the top six reasons I'd be a great National Party finance spokesperson, I can blame about anything on anyone.

It's never my fault. Of course not. If there's not enough money, that's not my fault. Of course not. If there's not enough money, that's not my fault. That's the beneficiary. See how quickly I just came up with someone to blame? Yes. No one's gonna ask me to prove that. Yeah. I've got another reason for you. Easy peasy.

Your wife is of Thai heritage. Yeah. You could say that. You could use that. Well, my wife's from Thailand, so Sawadee Ka. Sawadee Ka. Yeah. Are you pitching for me to be leader of the National Party now? I don't know. I was just saying, you know, set your sights high. Kap Kung Krap for that. Kap Kung Krap.

Kap Kung Krap for that. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Here's my question. Are ice cream trucks allowed to park outside schools at the end of school? Oh. It's a little bit on the nose, isn't it?

Well, I was just thinking for a couple of reasons. It's not like the super healthy after school snack. But, you know, I want ice cream every time I see it. So I don't blame children for screaming for ice cream. And my other question, my other situation is, then you've got the kids who can afford the ice cream getting the ice cream and the kids whose parents can't afford the ice cream not having the money for the ice cream so kids feel bad. Yes. I don't know why.

I don't like kids feeling bad. Because yesterday there was an ice cream truck outside our kids' school and I was like, hmm, what's the stand on this? Yeah. Because there's like marketing rules, isn't there, about like advertising junk food during kids' shows? Yeah. You can't do it anymore.

And I don't think you're allowed to do it near schools either, are you? No, you can't have like tip-top ice cream. Come in, kids. Like the kiddie stature. What did you have for breakfast, loser? I bet it was something dumb like cereal, but you should have had ice cream. Yum, yum, yum. Ice cream all the time.

So the truck was parked up there. Yeah. And then you turned up. Yeah. Saw the truck. Well, yeah, he was actually parked closer to the school than I could get a park at. Which pissed me off. So he was there early.

Yeah. He was there earlier than me. Yeah. But it pissed me off. I had to walk early. He was there earlier than me, yeah. But it pissed me off I had to walk past him. And then, shut up, my wife's like, maybe we should get the kids a couple of ice creams. I'm like, you've fallen in for this ploy. She got trapped.

She was trapped. I was like, they don't need ice creams. Did you get an ice cream after school? She's like, yeah, every now and then. And then I realised perhaps because I didn't get an ice cream after school every day, I wanted to deprive My children of the same pleasure I always get jealous

You don't know how good you have it When I was a boy If Sade goes and picks them up from school They'll rock them with an ice block sometimes I never got an after school ice block Do you remember how long school was? School was super long And then I caught a bus home.

So it was another 45 to 50 minutes after school to get home on the bus. Yeah, same. Yeah. But there was never an ice block. Yeah, I'd get a little ice block every now and then. If it was a hot day, maybe in summer. Yeah. My mum would prefer to make me a platter.

Well, you would get home to a platter? My mummy made me a cheese and fruit platter. Would you seriously get home to a platter. Well, you would get home to a platter? My mummy made me a cheese and fruit platter. Would you seriously get home to a platter? Dude, Patsy Sproul, I would come home from school and she would make me a platter. It would be like... Now, Patsy Sproul's your mum, not your maid.

Column A, column B. Right. When I was a kid. Oh, just checking. Yeah, she'd have little, like, mandarin segments laid out, some slime. She would, wait a minute, she didn't even make it. You I was a kid. I'm just checking. Yeah, she'd have little like Mandarin segments laid out, some sliced cheese. Wait a minute. She didn't even make it. You're not a child if you're not peeling your own mandarins. My mama would peel my mandarins.

Would she take the pith off? I'm not eating pith. What is this? Is that me? I just, okay. We had very different childhoods. I'm sure we did. We used to get home from school

and if mum was like down the farm with dad, we used to defrost steak in the microwave. It's gross looking back on it now. Yeah, right. Chuck it on power, defrost, and it'd be half cooked. And then you'd cut off the cooked bits on the outside and you'd find somewhere to ditch them. Yes.

And then, yeah, but there was always a cheese freezer full of home kills. Oh, no, I had an incredibly privileged upbringing. Right. But your kids and you both got ice creams yesterday, didn't you? I didn't get an ice cream because I... You won't because you have no interest in ever being a father. But generally the rule is you get them an ice cream, but you get them a big one,

then you get to finish both ice creams. Oh, okay. Yeah, they get to a certain point and they're like, it's too drippy or it's too much. I've got an ice cream headache. And then you swoop in as a hero. Give it to me. But it was part of your plan all along to get an ice cream

without getting an ice cream. And then that's calorie free too. I don't know if you guys know this, if you've talked to a nutritionist, but if you didn't order the food but you end up eating it, those calories don't count. That's correct. That's correct.

You try putting it in MyFitnessPal. Search somebody else's ice cream. You can't. There's no calories in it. It's absolutely calorie-free. Like a glass of delicious water. A glass of wine on a Friday. Calorie-free. Silly Little Pole, Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Well, today's silly little pole dealing with showering. Yes, personal hygiene, morning or night showering? I have switched to night and I don't shower in the morning because it's four o'clock. Okay. My bathroom backs onto my bedroom. Right. I do both. I'm a top and tail and sometimes one in the middle as well.

Feels wrong if you don't. I mean, maybe like the one in the middle if it's like post-gym and then it's a lazy afternoon. Yes. I won't shower again at night. Always post-gym. As long as my undies feel clean. That's your tester. Because if I don't shower at night, I'll sleep in the same undies

that I've been in during the day. But what about humid summer nights? You've always got to have a shower right before bed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about the very rare occasion where I don't shower at night. I just rock the same undies right through the morning. Wait, so you wear the same undies from about 4.30

in the morning till the next 4.30 in the morning? If it's not been a sweaty situation. If you haven't soiled yourself. If I go to the gym, I don't wear my undies that I've been wearing during the day. You've got gym undies? I don't wear undies at the gym. Oh, okay. I've got the shorts with the built-in support. With the lining. You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I've got gym undies. I switch them out. Yeah, people all often say the lining is so abrasive. And I'll say, you. With the lining. You know what I'm talking about here, the lining. Yeah, I've got gym undies. I switch them out. Yeah, people all often say the lining's so abrasive and I'll say, you've got bad lining. Well, they could be using togs. Yeah, don't wear board shorts at the gym.

Yes, togs. Togs, they break your balls. Oh my God, they'll cut you in half. They won't stop there. Yeah, they will. They won't stop with the balls. I'm a night shower as well,

same as you, Hayley. You don't want to shower at 4.30 in the morning. No. It's ridiculous. It's too early. You end up like to shower at 4.30 in the morning. It's ridiculous. It's too early. You end up like Vaughan. You stay in there for 35 minutes and you're late for work every day.

Well, one day last week I actually fell back asleep standing up in the shower. Oh, yeah, with your head against the wall? Yeah, I leaned into the corner. Big mistake. Won't do it again. But it's actually quite split, isn't it? The showering morning and night. Yes.

49% of people responded said they were a morning shower and 51% said they were night time showers. How'd that? I do like it because at night you get to climb into bed fresh as a daisy.

But I get in the morning it kind of wakes you up. Whereas my parents have always been morning and night. They're both. Cannot get to bed, cannot wake up

without having a shower. Oh, my parents are evening. It's a farming thing. They wake up, they get going in the morning and then work all day. You want to shower and then get elbow deep and cow poo. No, you want to clean up at the end of the day. Well, we had some messages in. Ryder said shower at night so your hair is soft the next day.

Oh, yeah. You don't wash your hair every time you shower. But then also it's weird to me as a man with no hair, I just get in the head straight under the shower head. Yes, I reserve. I love it, the water running over the head, but me a shoddy doesn't. I'll wet it every sort of couple of times.

Yeah. But yes, I know that thing, Ryder, where you get, like, if I washed my hair last night and then I go to bed with it wet, which my mum was like, Hayley, don't do that. Why? Because you'll get a cold.

Because you get a chill, catch a chill. She's like, I won't peel your mandarins after school tomorrow if you do that again. You naughty girl, Hayley. No, but it's because

you've had so much vitamin C from this fresh platter you arrived home to every day that allows you to sleep with a wet head. That's right. But when you wake up in the morning,

it's super soft from being sort of casually dried all night around the bed. A little bit crinkled, bit of bed hair. But we won't care about that, they said. Yeah. Vanessa said because I gym after work and don't want to shower twice a day, plus you smell nice for bed, so there's another evening shower.

Chris said morning and night. Just the water at night. No soap. Soap in the morning. I don't know why, but that's just how I morning. Wow. I don't know why, but that's just how I roll. Wow. That's an interesting take. I would have thought soap would have been better at the end of the day, Chris,

because then you haven't done too much work overnight. Well, I always remember a dermatologist saying to me, you don't need soap. And I was like, you should be stripped of your licence. Because who doesn't use soap? You need something. I use soap-free body wash because I'm an ex-Malady. Right.

I can't be rubbing soap up. But a lot of your body. Yeah. Oh, is yours self-cleaning? Mine is. Mine's self-cleaning. Yeah. Are we talking about our privates?

Yes. Mine's self-cleaning. No soap down there. Thanks to my Jewish heritage. Oh, yes, of course. It's fairly sad. It takes care of itself. Yeah. But you definitely don't use soap down there. Thanks to my Jewish heritage. Oh, yes, of course. It's fairly sad. It takes care of itself. Yeah.

But you definitely don't use soap down there. That's a rinse. Yeah, you use soap down there. No. External parts, yes. Internal, no. Get out of town. Absolutely not.

Do you remember a couple of years ago, lots of doctors were chiming in about how often you actually need to shower, and they were like, you're stripping your body of your natural oils. Oils, yeah. Two to three times a week is plenty. But it's a smell thing. And everyone was like, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

And that's when Ashton Kutcher was like, yeah, I don't shower too much. And our kids don't shower. And everyone was just like shaming them. Coralie says, I voted morning, but when I went to bed. What? I voted morning when I went to bed. But night was winning, so I got up and had a shower. That's how easily influenced I am by statistics.

Right, so she usually showers in the morning, but night was winning, and she was like, well, I'll obviously have to join the majority. Wow, you are a sheep. She's a sheep. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

And Hayley, and we're running our competition, our Border Break competition, a chance for you to bring someone home, a family member, a friend that you haven't seen for years because the border has been shut for, what, two years? Yeah, what about someone that maybe because we've been all inside for a couple of years,

you met them online? Oh, yeah. Maybe we could, you know. You're talking love. You're talking love. What if you've fallen in love with someone and they're overseas and you haven't been able to meet yet?

Yeah. Enter them in the competition. Like Vaughan's brother met his now wife on a wrestling chat room. That's correct. Yes, he did. Wow. Yeah, we were all like,

that's a fake picture. That's not what people who talk in wrestling chat rooms look like. And well, the joke was on us. Eggs on our face. She's beautiful and she's in the family. Exactly. Now, you can text border to 9696.

We'll fire you back a link. Make sure you register your details because we're going to pick somebody soon and we're going to bring them back and reunite some family

and friends that haven't seen each other for a very long time. And yesterday, the Prime Minister announcing that the border is opening sooner than we thought.

Yes. And not just for Kiwi residents. That might just be a clerk from Fiji, though. Because of his home detention bracelet. He's got a home detention bracelet on in Fiji, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Then that was the latest thing I heard.

Yeah, we are, of course, being sarcastic. Wildly facetious. Yeah, the online rumours. So it always blows my mind that Australians make up the majority of international tourists in New Zealand. Yeah, I know. Does that blow your mind too? 40% of international arrivals are Australians each year, 1.5 million.

But it's because it's easy. It's easy. It's a three to five hour flight for them. But I just thought they all went to Bali or anywhere else. I don't know. You just never see many Australians. The Aussies love the Greek islands. Being to Queenstown when there's snow? It is Australia. Well, yeah. Yeah, that's true. And they always get drunk and get arrested in winter. Yeah, indeed. So Australians will be able to come to New Zealand without having

to isolate from 11.59pm on April the 12th and the rest of the world from visa waiver countries from May the 2nd. And is that just for vaccinated? Yeah, so you'll have to be double vaxxed by the sound of it. Yes. Not triple vaxxed. But if you're unvaccinated, you'll do the classic MIQ? Well, no, not if you're not from New Zealand.

Not allowed to. I think as a New Zealand citizen, if you're not vaccinated, MIQ, but the rest of the world, you just can't come. Yeah, right. Unless you're vaccinated. This is going to be amazing. I have to say, on a serious note, a couple of years ago, a year ago, I did a tourism New Zealand thing.

I travelled around all the tourist spots, trying to encourage Kiwis to get out and try something new. And people were suffering, man. People were having such a hard time without the international tourists there. And as much as Kiwi were trying to get behind and support them, a lot of businesses were struggling. So I think this is such great news for

our tourism providers. Well, yeah, it'll be in time for school holidays from Australia for Easter. Yeah. And also for the ski season as well. There's going to be a line at the luge. I'll be right before the 5th ofuge. No, we want a line. No, we want lines and stuff.

I went to Pancake Rocks. There should be a locals line. There should be a locals line. When I went to Pancake Rocks. Oh, hell yeah. Punta Kaki. Yeah. Not a single line.

I had the best view ever. Yeah. Look, we've had two years of no lines. We want lines now. We want lines. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A British guy called Adam Frisbee. Wait a minute.

Wait, are you eating Frisbee? Of the Frisbee dynasty. Oh, yeah, she's eating a Crisket. I knew you could tell. I literally put a bit of Crisket in my mouth and you're like, we're going live. And I went, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. I tried to get it down.

And I thought you couldn't hear me. There you go. I had a crusc at 10 minutes ago. I can still feel, I can still, it's just sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. It lives in you. It stays in you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, back to my story.

A British guy called Adam Frisbee. He loved being a salesman. Of the Frisbee dynasty. Did he invent Frisbee? No, he's not part of any dynasty. He comes from a sort of lower income earning family in the UK. He went to high school. He left high school early without obtaining any qualifications. Everyone was like, don't do that. You're going to leave, you know, it's going to lead you nowhere fast. And he was like, I've got

to go. He ended up spending some time looking after his brother who had an accident. He dabbled in banking for a bit, but that wasn't for him. Didn't have a lot of money. He ended up moving to Spain with his family for a bit, coming back, and then worked for a charity and became redundant. So that's his story. No qualifications, didn't go to uni, didn't finish high school. Everyone was like, you're going to do nothing. He had a thousand pounds that he got from his redundancy package from the charity that fired him. And with that, he was like, what am I going to do here? And he saw a gap in the market for cheap, fast fashion, basically, for like influencers.

The likes of Charlotte Crosby, friend of ours. Yeah, we've met her. We've met her before. Yeah. And using a thousand pounds, he set up a fashion brand using Instagram. He's now worth 34 million pound. His company was floating on the stock exchange last year for a whopping 105 million pounds.

He's absolutely, he's living in it. In the style is his company. I was expecting it to be Fashion Nova, to be honest. It's not Fashion Nova, no. I think it's probably quite popular in the UK. Right. So he's rich, but you said fast fashion's so ethically questionable. Oh, this stuff will be trash.

And buttons would fall off. I imagine buttons falling off. I reckon the buttons would just melt. Yeah. Absolutely. But what the point is, he dropped out of high school, no qualifications, and he's made himself. He's made himself.

Yeah, but it's like my mother said, for every one story of someone dropping out of high school, no qualifications, and he's made himself. He's made himself. Yeah, but it's like my mother said. For every one story of someone dropping out of high school and making a success in themselves, there'll be 100 stories of people dropping out of high school and becoming drag addicts. Yeah, probably. Probably. Drag addicts!

But we wanted to put it to our audience. Are you a dropout? Are you a rich dropout? Did you drop out of high school? Did you make rich dropout? Did you drop out of high school? Did you make it? Yeah. Did you drop out of high school? No qualifications.

Everyone was like, bye, good luck to you. Have fun. They're like, no, you need to stay to year 13 without this in-depth knowledge of William Shakespeare's 800-year-old work. How will you ever succeed in the trades? Exactly. Yeah.

I've just done a quick Google, famous high school dropouts. Do you want to hear a few? Yeah, give it to us. Richard Branson dropped out at 15. Yeah. But you don't hear about Stephen Branson, local drug addict. Some famous actors, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp. Education to be an actor.

Jennifer Lawrence dropped out to pursue acting. Drew Barrymore, Ryan Gosling, Paris Hilton. Drew Barrymore was in E.T. when she was two years old. What did she drop out of, her mother's womb? She was born into the acting dynasty of the Barrymore. And to be fair, Drew Barrymore did become a drug addict. Told you. Because she dropped out, yeah.

We're talking about rich dropouts. People that donate $100,000 at the top of the secret sound $100,000 Thursday. I know, this is on the back of, there's a guy in the UK dropped out of high school, told he wouldn't amount to much and now his business is worth £105 million.

Yeah. That's absolutely ridiculous. We asked you, are you a rich dropout? Stacey, tell us your story. This is about your husband? Yes. So he dropped out of school at 15. Well, I think he was kindly pushed out of school.

Kindly pushed. Do you know why? Yes. And I probably won't say that on the radio. Good, good, good. You don't have to. Very naughty boy. But now he's obviously got his head firmly screwed on.

And he, just before COVID, we actually started his business as a mobile caravan, you know, maintenance guy. So he goes around and repairs and fixes people with motorhomes and caravans. There's nobody that does that mobile. Oh, really? There was nobody mobile. People have broken down camper vans that can't move, but they still have to move them to the place to get them fixed.

I can see how he identified a gap in the market. Yes, so there's the mechanical side of things, and then there's the people that need solar and satellites and all of those installed. And so he does all of that. So he can sometimes in one month, you know, go through, you know, be turning over 100K. Whoa!

Yeah. Big daddy! Yeah. Big daddy dropout. That's hot. Was that look in your face, Hayley? Was that look in your face, Hayley, like, how do I get into this? Yeah, I was like, what's the next gap?

What's the next gap? What else can we do mobile? It's the way all of us Kiwis are starting to live now. It's when you retire, you sell your home and you buy a motorhome and you travel New Zealand. So it's just becoming the Kiwi norm. Well, good for him, Stacey, and good for you for snatching him up. Get in him.

Snatching him up. Snatching up a naughty boy. Absolutely. Who turned out to be a good boy good for him, Stacey, and good for you for snatching him up. Snatching him up. Snatching up a naughty boy. Absolutely. Who turned out to be a good boy. Thank you, Stacey. James, tell us your story. Hello. Hey, are you a rich dropout, James?

I'm far from rich, but they say money can't buy happiness. Fuck, man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear. That's all right. That's all right. You're forgiven. Sorry it I took school at 15 to go and work in the forestry because of

things that happened with the family dad falling off a roof kind of thing he's ok now but long story short was needing to get my ass out and go and earn some money something years later I got two golf shots, and as they say, money can't buy happiness.

So I'm living the dream. Living the dream, mate. Living the dream. Dropping out of school to support the family after Dad's accident, and you're doing all right. Yeah. Good on you, mate. No, I just want to say to all those that, you know,

stayed in uni to become painters and all that kind of thing, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, I take that personally, James. I spent $40,000 getting a degree in acting, so that was a waste of time, wasn't it? Amazing, James. Thanks, you're cool. Keep your texts coming in.

9696, 0800, dials at M is the number. Are you a rich high school dropout? We're talking about high school dropouts that are now successful, rich, living the dream. There's a guy in the UK dropped out of high school and now his business is worth about $200,000. No, $200,000. $200 million

New Zealand dollars. Absolutely extreme. So we asked you, are you a rich dropout? Kat, tell us your story. Are you a rich dropout? Hello. Good morning. Good morning. I definitely think that my children think I'm a rich dropout, yeah.

Nice. But I'm not sure about myself. Well, tell us what happened. So really, I think, well, mine's quite an inspiring story. So when I was 15, I was in with the wrong crowd and I dropped out of school, was always in trouble and I decided to have three children, which was a great choice at the time.

How old were you when you had your first baby? So I was 16 and then I was 18 when I had my second son and I was 25 when I had my third son. Wow. And yeah, I was pretty much a single parent and I got by by cleaning toilets at the NHS in England. And then at the age of 25, I remember being at work in the hospital one day, and I was helping to see the patient, and the lady next to me said, you really have missed your calling. And something really hit home with me that day. So, on the way back from work, I actually walked into the college and said, oh, I want to be a nurse so from that day on my life changed and um I slowly um

turned my back on the crowd that I was with and went to live somewhere else got into training and um really got myself mentally fit and I suppose you know when I when I think back to that um time in my life um I've come definitely a long way. But now, 20 years later, I am a national clinical manager for a massive healthcare firm. Wow. Yes. That's way up.

Rung after rung up the ladder. Yeah. And I'm a director of a small business. Me and my partner own a business as well, a drainage business. So I'm part director of that You're doing bloody well and also the best part about it is when everyone else was in their late 20s, early 30s

having babies, your kids were all grown up See you later suckers Absolutely amazing Kat, thank you for sharing your story with us. Melissa, is this about your partner? Yeah, so my partner was a really naughty boy at school and left when he was 13, 14 and went into farming.

But he has recently, like just before, or just at the end of the very first lockdown, got into corrections. And he is now earning more than me and I studied at uni for five years. What a waste of time that was. Absolutely. I think the moral of the story is don't bother, don't go to uni. is now earning more than me and I studied at uni for five years. What a waste of time that was. Absolute waste. I think the moral of the story is

don't bother, don't go to uni. Kids, if you're listening, it's an absolute waste of time. Yeah, if you want to be a doctor, just start operating on people, you know? Do some grassroots surgery. Do the mucky first. Melissa, thank you so much.

Yeah, some really good stories coming in about people I left school at 14. I'm now 29 and up in management in the corporate world. Hello, ka-ching, ka-ching. Yeah, the corporate world. My husband left school at 14 after having a stroke at 14. Is that? I didn't know that was a thing.

Yeah, but he's out there now. We own our home. He's providing for us. I've got the degree, but he earns far more than me, and he's never let the thing that happened to him when he was younger get in the way of the hard work. Love that. My partner dropped out at 13, another 13-year-old drop out there.

He's doing very well for himself now. Can easily provide for his family, even though he was told by everybody at the time that he wouldn't be able to. Oh, that's nice. There you go. What a great story. Not like me. Privileged upbringing.

Look at me now. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. State. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, it's time for I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. And Vaughan, you've had a hot run in 2022. I think, what, one wrong mum's name?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the stats. Yeah, or two. I can't remember. This year's a blur. No, it was one and it was Petrina. Petrina. No, not Petrina. Petrina.

It was Petrina. It was hard, though. It was like a Petra and Petrina. Petrina. No, not Petrina. Petrina. It was Petrina. It was Petrina. It was hard, though. It was like a Petra and a Tina. Yeah. Just pull the fingers of the producers there when they line up a name that doesn't exist for everybody to guess your mum's name. They just pick some.

Someone rings up. Hi, my mum invented her own name. Fantastic. You can do it today because you'll never guess that. Yeah. Am I supposed to just guess a bunch of random syllables jammed together? You better get it right. Yeah, I've got to get it right.

You better get it right today. I've got a good feeling about today. All right, well, Zara joins us this morning. Good morning, Zara. Hi. How are you, Zara? Oh, good. Very good.

How are you guys? You're saying Zara, but on the phone display, your name starts with an X. It does. I'm blessed with a weird name. Gazara. What kind of mispronunciations of that do you get? I get Xara.

I get Zahara. Okay, now does that a clue for you, Vaughan? Does that mean that mum's name could be quite plain and then she wanted to zhuzh up her daughter's name? Yeah, it's a bit of background there. You could be dealing with a very different sort of a mum's name or a very plain...

Before I have the first question, Jane's on the list. Oh, yeah, plain Jane. Good, good start. Oh, yeah, because if you've grown up a Jane... Yeah, you're going to go... You're going to give them funky names. You're going to go Zara. All right, well, Zara, Vonna has five questions about your mum.

What's mum's favourite sort of cake? Like, if it was mum's birthday, what flavour cake are you dropping on mum? A carrot cake. Ah, the best! Donna and her carrot cakes. Donna loves a carrot cake. Carrot cake is the superior cake of all cakes,

I will say it. Ah, banana. No, okay, I'm not against you there. But I love a fruit or vegetable cake. Karen's carrot. But not a fruit cake. Don't get me wrong. What about Annabelle?

Because I love Annabelle Langboine's banana. Annabelle Langboine, she does such a great cake. I love that banana cake recipe is divine. If we're going that route, can we chuck a Nadia on there? Because I made her banana bread last night. Tell you what, it was good. Oh, I'll bring some in a Nadia on there? Because I made her banana bread last night. Tell you what. Was it good? Oh, I'll bring some in.

It's not even lockdown and you're making banana bread. I had some off bananas. I forgot to put them in the freezer. Oh, right. What was I going to do? Chuck them out? No wasteful. No waste.

Turn to Nadia. We've all turned to Nadia in a time of need, haven't we? Oh, bless her. What a shoulder to cry on. Did I tell you about my two weeks down at her Central Otago property? Oh, it's very beautiful. I was having a rough time. Yeah, I bet.

She took me under her wing. Lauren, she turned you away at the gate. She doesn't want to see you. But how did I know where she lived then? Google Maps. Yeah, okay. Maybe I wasn't invited. Maybe I'm a pest.

Number two, this might be dark. I'm just thinking because we've currently got Fletch broadcasting from home after the dreaded two red lines. Has mum had COVID, Zara? No, she hasn't. Do you think she's worried about it? Not

really. I mean, her family has had it. So she's playing it safe. Yeah. Is she a doctor? No. Is she a doctor? No. Oh. Is she a doctor?

Give me some doctor names. Quinn, medicine woman. Thayer. Quinn, medicine woman. Yeah. I'm going to put Quinn. Okay. Because of Quinn, medicine woman.

Okay. Do you know any other female doctor names? My doctor's Thaya. Thaya? Yeah, Thaya. Imagine if your doctor is Zara's mum. We don't even know that Zara's mum is a doctor, and none of my questions will identify Zara's mum's occupation.

Yeah, doctor mum. But we've got to go down this path. Do you know any other female doctors? I went to school with a couple of people who became doctors. Oh, Kate. Kate. It was my childhood doctor growing up. Kate.

I've got a... Have you got a Fiona on there? Dr. Fiona? Yeah, Dr. Fiona. Oh, okay. Spotted my missing kidney. Did she? Yeah.

How did she spot that? Because I went in the bed, didn't I? And then she was like, that's not right. Did she poke in the back? And she's like, it's hollow back here. No, it was in there, but it was dead and small. Fiona did that, though. So she hasn't had COVID, but we've gone for a dinner.

Heavy doctor streak there. How old is mum? What's mum's age, date of birth? She was born in 1965. So she has just turned 57. 56? 57? 57. I've just got this feeling, and correct me if I'm wrong, Zara,

this isn't one of my questions, but I feel mum's like blossoming in her 50s. Yeah. Do you get the feeling? I get the vibe that mum's kind of like almost found herself a little bit in her 50s. Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah, she's really happy with who she is. Is this a question, Vaughn? No, no, no, no, no, it's a vibe reading.

It sounds like a question, Vaughn. It sounds like a vibe reading. Your inflection at the end, is that right? You actually said, is that right, Zara? Is that right, Zara? No, it was confirmation of a statement. Zara, give him no more information until he gives you a formal question.

It was all under the age question umbrella. I thought of another female doctor. What about that one that steps in for Ashley Bloomfield, Dr. Caroline Macklin? Caroline. Caroline Eve. And mums love Caroline Eve. Yeah, so I'm going to put Eve on the list

because I've got an auntie that's an Eve, and she would be the same sort of age bracket. She's the custard squares auntie, isn't she? She's Timaru Auntie Eve in a famous... Of course, to leave Timaru, you've got to learn the trade of the custard square making. Well, they don't let you leave. No, of course.

You've got to represent Timaru on a custard square stage. I'm also going to put a robin in there because I think my mother-in-law's really found herself in her 50s and 60s. She's really happy with who she's become. Is that more the Raglan swinging community? Yeah, it might be. Yeah.

It might be. It's a very open, it's an open book down there. What's your mum's favourite alternative to a swear word? Like my mum's a, she's a bugger. Your mum's a bugger.

Yeah, bugger. My mum's a fudge. My mum's is ignoramus. Ignoramus or ignoramus? The second. So she will replace ignoramus, which is the Latin for someone of ignorance, with ignoramus.

Interesting approach. Interesting approach from Patsy, but she makes the list. Okay, and finally, does mum play any sport? If she doesn't play it what's her favorite sport none she hates sport okay who do what moms do you know that hate sport vaughn i don't know if i know any mums that actively despise sport prefer like pottering around the home she potter yeah yeah she's a potter she's a potter. She a potterer? She's a potterer. She's a potterer.

She's a marge. Yeah. Too old? She doesn't like sports because she sees so many accidents at the A&E on the weekend. Yeah, Maggie. Where she's a doctor. Or Marg. Marg?

I might put a Marg down. Okay. Marg always had the van. That's why I knew a Marg that didn't like her kids playing sports, but that was because they had the sport pack so they could take the whole team. So it sort of like fell on them quite a bit to take the whole team. All right, I'm ready. All right, Vaughn, you now have 15 seconds to guess Zara's mum's name.

Zara, if you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts now. Jane, Donna, Karen, Fiona, Annabelle, Nadia, Christine, Jennifer, Quinn, Thea, Kate, Hazel, Virginia, Fiona, Caroline. No, that's my mum's name. What? Which one?

Virginia. I knew it! Doctor. Doctor Virginia. I don't know if she's still going by Dawson. I went to school with her. Oh, wow. I went to school with her.

So the doctor route actually helped you. What does your mum do for a job? She's a phlebotomist. She takes people's blood. I knew it! I knew it! Wow. She knows her way around a vein.

Wow. Wow. Okay, so you were kind of right in that medical field, Vaughan. You really channeled in with that sense that you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt it. I felt it. Didn't I feel it?

Well, you have locked in $100, Zara, and that has triggered... Bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. One guess only. One guess only, Vaughn. Vaughn, if you can do this, it's another $100 for Zara. Virginia and Dave. No, Virginia and... It needs a hard sound. Tim. Tim. Virginia and Dave. No, Virginia and...

It needs a hard sound. Tim. Tim. Virginia and Tim. Virginia and John? Or a P. Yeah, no. Peter.

Virginia and Peter. Virginia and John. Pete. Virginia and John. Virginia and John. Oh, yeah. But we're not... I can't ask if she goes by Ginny

because I don't think she would. Virginia. Virginia. Virginia. Virginia. No one goes... Sorry, Zara. No. Virginia. Virginia. Virginia. No one goes. Sorry, Zach. No, Virginia.

Zara, there's not a single Virginia in the world that goes by Virginia. It didn't work. It didn't work. I don't know. I was testing it out and it didn't work. No. Virginia and John. Keith.

No, Virginia and Paul. Paul feels now Virginia and... It's got to have a hard Tim. Yeah, I reckon Tim. Virginia and Tim. Are you locking in Tim? I'm going to lock in Tim. Okay.

Well, Zara, what is your dance name? Ken. Ken. Ken. Oh, it's with David and Keith. I told you that. I went with a Tim. Tim, Ken. Ken. Oh, it's with Devon and Keith. I told you that. I went with a T. Tim, Ken.

A K. You needed a K. Yeah. Well, Zara, you... Oh, I got a Ken and Virginia, eh? Yep. You are victorious. With the mum's name, $100 is all yours, Zara.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Thank you so much. Yesterday, as I sent this screenshot to the group chat, you, Fletch, came in with, I've got COVID. And it sort of just... It was weird. Fletch is like, guys, and sent through two red lines. And he's like, guys, I've got COVID and I win the COVID kitty.

And we're all like, oh, my God, are you okay? What are your symptoms? And Hayley's like, somebody sent me this. Hello over here. I'm just saying on a normal night, this would have blown up. Yeah, I feel like we sent it at exactly the same time. Yeah, we did. And your message got lost.

Year win. Year win this one. You got COVID. But I did receive a message in my inbox yesterday, in my Instagram dims from, I won't say his name, but an older gentleman.

And this is not the first time that I've had messages from older gentlemen, but this one took my fancy. It just said, hey, I'm sorry if this offends you. My ears are pricked. But said, hey, I'm sorry if this offends you. My ears are pricked. But, new line, I would like you to be my sugar baby. I'm just letting you know my intentions.

We could talk terms and do a weekly allowance. Do let me know if you're interested. I'm absolutely willing to hear. Hear him out. Yeah, so I haven't responded. Aaron was like, what's a sugar baby? And I was like, oh, you're so sweet. Aaron is so sweetly naive.

I know. Or he's a trained actor, so he's a huge deviant with an amazing ability to play naive. I know. Well, I explained. I was like, if you have a sugar daddy, he just pays for your life, and you don't necessarily have to do much for it,

and they just give you tons of money. And Aaron was like, do it. He was looking around at your renos being like, get it done. Yeah, I mean, how much is a kitchen? And what do you have to do for a kitchen? Like $30,000 if you're being cautious these days. So yeah, he said do it. And I said, well, you know, there is a chance

because some sugar daddies you do have to do sexual favours for this money. Yeah, but not all of them. And Aaron I said, well, you know, there is a chance because some sugar daddies, you do have to do sexual favours for this money. Yeah, but not all of them. And Aaron was like, well, what kind of stuff? I was like, hang on. Why are we even entertaining the idea that I would do any of this? But I'm not quite sure what to respond. But you came in and said, look at this.

And Carwin at the social media desk was like, I get these all the time. I know. They're spam bots. And I said, no, maybe I'd take the compliment. She brought me down to size because I have to say, I am slightly flattered by this. But, Carwin, you'd think that I'm being pranked because no one would ever want me to be their sugar baby.

I never said that. I never said that. Why would anyone want a 32-year-old washed up sugar baby? Yeah, you called her an old bag of trash. Guys, it was off the air. As she said it, she looked me up and down and was like, mmm. Yeah, she was a real euphoria up and down too. A real Sydney Sweeney

up and down too. Like, look at this bag of trash. Not with dad ass. So, Carwen, you get these a lot? Yeah, I have in my message request quite a few of them, but they seem a lot more spammy than yours does. Thank you, so mine's genuine. Yeah, I think go for it.

You reckon go for it? I would say Carwin would be more the sort of look of a typical sugar baby. Blonde, gorgeous, young.

I was like, where are you going with this? See, if I'd said that though, we'd have an HR meeting on our hands, wouldn't we? Hold on,

I'm just dropping compliments around. Actually, do you know what I should do is I should respond and be like, not for me, but I've got the girl for you, and I'll tag you, Carwin, in the post and you can profit off this. Yeah, for sure. Okay, that's the solution, I think. Carwin's getting multiple approaches a week, though.

She's not interested. She doesn't have a picture to renovate. Well, she doesn't want my sloppy seconds. You need to find one of those sugar daddies that wants to be financially... Humiliated. Humiliated. Those are the best ones. They don't want any sexual favors.

They want. Show me a bank account. Yeah. You effectively steal his money and take tens of thousands of dollars out of his account at a time. And so there's nothing you can do about it, you pathetic old man. There's dudes that like that. I mean, that's my marriage, basically. Thousands of dollars goes out of the bank

account and I'm like, what happened here? And my wife's like, yeah, I don't have to explain anything to you, you pathetic old man. And I'm like, okay. I love you. So I can see that it can develop into a long-term relationship, but I'm going for it then. I've got to flick him a message back. Just say you'd be keen to hear his T's and C's.

Alright, let us know how you get on. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day. Day, day, day. It's not going to work, is it? It's not going to work, is it? Slightly out of time. It's slightly delayed.

So you think the broadcast is absolutely perfectly synced until you do something that requires... I know. Syncing. Syncing and timing. Yeah, for those that have missed the memo, I'm recording at home today because I've got COVID.

Because we did the jingle, do you want to do it on your own as a solo performance? No, absolutely not. Okay, all right, maybe tomorrow. Well, today's fact of the day... Yeah, is that you shouldn't wee on lampposts. Talk to me. It's a lot harder for me to do it than it is for you to do it.

Not impossible, Sproul. I believe in you. You can do anything you set your mind to. San Francisco, in 2015, a lamppost crashed down, narrowly missing a senior citizen in a car. And when investigated upon, it was urine that played the major part in the corrosion of the metal at the bottom. Now, over many years, many people urinated on this specific lamppost.

And dogs as well. When samples were taken and security footage was looked at from the corner, mostly at night times, it was the adults. It was the adults and humans. The inebriates. Correct. But during the day, it was urinated on as well. It never got a break by dogs.

Hugely popular place for a dog to send, and I'll quote my father-in-law here, a pee mail. Oh, my gosh, Dad. That's what he used to say when his dogs would stop to go wheeze. He'd be like, they're sending other dogs pee mails. A pee mail. He loved that gag. He used it often. I mean, he's not dead. That made it like, they're sending other dogs pee mails. A pee mail. He loved that gag. He used it often.

I mean, he's not dead. That made it sound like he was dead. He just doesn't have a dog anymore. He loves that gag. He loved that gag. He doesn't have a dog anymore. He's still alive and kicking. He said, he'll outlive us all.

But yeah, they looked into it, and then it launched a 25,000 light pole investigation to see that none other were urinated on to the point of corrosion. Wow. Yeah. You need to drink more water if your pee's that acidic. I feel like, yeah, well you know when you're nah, because when you've been drinking

I find just sheer volume of intake means that it's quite light. It's quite clear. It's quite watery. Might have secret acidic powers to it. So there you go. It's like watery, but it might have secret acidic powers to it. So there you go. It's like when the dog goes wheeze on the lawn, that little patch of lawn might die if it's dry because of the acid in it

and it'll slowly melt a lamppost. So today's fact of the day is don't wee on the lampposts, please. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Get out, don't sing. Unlikely places where we snack. 20% admitted to nibbling, having a little nibble in the bath. Oh, yeah. I have a glass of wine in the bath. If I have a bath, I'll have a drink in the bath. Thinking back though, Vaughan, weren't you a bit of a shower beer drinker?

Love a shower eater. There is no finer beer than after a day like doing yard work in the summer, a hot day, mowing lawns, you're all dusty, you've been trimming bits and pieces, you get inside, you have a shower, and when you're in there, you have a warm shower and an ice-cold beer. There's no better beer, in my opinion,

than the shower beer. Oh, a shower beer is fantastic. I'll up you one, and this is gross, and I'm really sorry to my mum, but when I was a student, I used to have a shower beer and a cigarette. That is disgusting. A shower beer and a cigarette. That is disgusting. A shower beer and a durry.

That is wild. Yeah, I used to live in this flat. Did it not get damp? No, you just sort of have it out to the side. How very French of you to have a cigarette out to the side. After your shower, did you pop down to the TAB? No, TAB.

It was like a shower over bath. And I used to, yeah, just like hop in the shower and have a little ziggy. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed about that. A lot of people in the bath,

18% said they pop out to the shed to have a private snack on their own. That's understandable. I've done a little bit of work there. Yeah, maybe it's secret food.

You're eating the biscuits so your partner doesn't find out. Yeah, 5% of people, a much lower percentage, get peckish when they're getting intimate in the bedroom, thinking about a snack or they're having a little snack, you know? I couldn't. How would you do that? Maybe you just have some fruit and nuts on the side table. Fruit and nuts?

Like a little wax fruit. One of those platters Hayley used to arrive home from school to. A little mandarin and cheese platter. Does your mum still prepare you a love making platter? Mum, Patsy does not prepare Aaron and I a love making platter. But here's the stat that we want to talk about. 18% of people enjoy

having a little snack while they're sitting on the loo. Nah. I can easily say I've never snacked on the toilet. Maybe I was eating and then I went to the toilet and I was finishing a mouthful. That doesn't count, though, eh? When we brought this up, I was like, I've definitely gone hum.

And totalled off to the toilet. And then totalled off to the toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take a phone call on the loo. Different. I'm imagining someone's eating like a chocolate bar or opening a bag of chips. Yeah, pouring a bowl of chips and having a lunch.

What about a full sandwich? I'll do a multitude of things in the bathroom. But people have shamed me before for taking my phone and being on my phone while doing number twos. Think? Yeah, but it's not going in your mouth though, is it? No, exactly. And you've got to imagine all the spray that comes up.

God, you need to get your poos more solid if you're spraying. You need some psyllium husk in you. Wow. Good knowledge of some fibro- Spraying, Fletch. My God. No, I'm saying that there are the particles. When it drops out of you into the,

there's particles when you flush that you cannot, the eye cannot see, the naked eye. Yes, this is why they say don't have your toothbrush out in the bathroom if you've got your toilet in the bathroom space because of the particles. So it might be a hard ask this morning, but is there anybody listening that will admit to eating, having eaten ever while on the toilet? Yeah, and we're talking like you've brought a snack to the event. Wait, what if you're a parent with kids and the minute you open

snacks they're all like, eh, but you don't, you aren't going to the toilet but you're sitting on a toilet with a closed lid eating. I'll accept that. Oh yeah, closed lid eating. No, I'll accept that. But if you were doing movements, ones or twos, do you snack on the loo? I just don't think people are

going to admit to this. No, I don't think they will either. The survey said 18%. I think people were having a little laugh there. Okay, well, are there 18% of people listening now that have snacked on the toilet? 0800 dials at M. Let's see. Give us a call.

You can text as well, 9696. Have you ever eaten while sitting on the toilet? Quite a horrible, disgusting statistic, really, Hayley. Yeah, about 18% of people have a little snacky-do while they're doing a poo while they're on the toilet. 18% of people. Who are these 18% of people, and will anyone admit to it? And that's what we want to know now.

We did put it to our listeners, and we do have a call anonymous. Do you have a little snack while you're on the toilet, do you? No, it's not me. I used to work for a couple, and their son would eat his bowl of cereal in the toilet. Oh, a wet meal. A wet meal, even. Yeah.

Yuck. A crockery and cutlery dependent milk based wet meal Not a hand You should work for an advertising company I should, I should know how to sell cereals Do you ever say anything about this? Like, ooh, that's gross No

Now in my head, this kid's six And he's trying to cram it all in before school How old was this person in reality? He's just started high school this year. Okay. Yeah, so it should know better. Yeah. Amazing.

Thanks, you're cool. All right, keep your texts coming in. 9696. 0800 DALS at Emerson number. I want to hear from you if you are one of these 18% of people that admit to eating on the toilet. Yeah, come on, admit it. We asked our listeners, do any of you do this?

Some messages, Vaughn? Yeah, my 11-year-old son has more than once taken his computer and food in the form of a sandwich or a cereal in a bowl to the toilet and sat there for ages because he didn't want to miss any screen time. We constantly tell him he's gross. Here's my thoughts. You've got to stop that.

I thought you were going to say bring back 80s hidings. That's what I'm saying. In the 80s, that would have got us a hiding, but if we dragged a computer in the 90s to the bathroom, we would have had to have dragged the entire computer desk with it as well. It was an extension cord. It was an impossibility. But you've got to stop that because one day that 11-year-old is going to be 19 and go

flatting. Yeah. And everyone's going to be like, gross. And then the word's going to get around and they're going to be known as like, shitty McEats or something. Yeah. Or like, you know, they're going to have like a bad reputation. That's up to you now.

Yeah, exactly. I'll leave that with you. I'll leave that with you reputation. That's up to you now. Yeah, exactly. I'll leave that with you, Mum. We do have a caller. Dan, will you admit, will you admit, do you do this? Yeah, every day. Yes, Dan, there you go. Every day, Dan. Yep.

What are you eating on the loo? Oh, well, my fridge is literally like two metres from the toilet door, so it's a little bit on the way. Hang on. Have you got a fridge in the kitchen where the rest of us keep our fridges, Dan, or? Yeah, it's like kitchen laundry. Kitchen laundry? So you've got a kitchen laundry bathroom set up?

Well, it's got a door between it. Oh, okay. You should go on that show where that Irish guy comes in and redesigns your home and you wear a VR headset. It's not configured well. So, Dan, you feel the rumble in your tummy or the shudder in your bladder, and you head towards the bathroom.

On the way, you stop past the fridge. What kind of food are you grabbing? Usually a beer stuck in a piece of cheese. No cracker. What are you, on keto or something? Jesus. The very things that will stop you going toilet on the way to the toilet.

That bathroom as well, the smell of cheese, a beer stick and whatever you're putting in there. Highly salted preserved meats and the Dan diapers. Dan, how long have you done this for? Probably for the past year.

It's just a house set up. I thought this is beautiful. Right. Are you a bachelor, Dan? No, no. Engaged. Not for long, mate. How does your fiancé feel about it?

She thinks that's absolutely revolting. But she still loves you. That's amazing. That's something, Dan. That's true love. Dan, thank you for opening up because a lot of people are scared to open up. We do have some more messages though. I eat dinner sitting on the toilet while my daughter has

a bath and she eats her dinner in the bath. No. You're going to end up everything's very moist now. Imagine losing a sausage overboard. Oh my god. What kind of sausage? Because I reckon a sizzler would only need a rinse. A sizzler would need a rinse. Bathwater's not going to put a dent in a sizzler.

No, but if you had a barbecue, a barbecued sausage would make the bathwater so greasy. There'd be a bit of a grease. There'd be oil slacks. Yeah, oil slacks. Someone just said, I'm going to be adding cheese to my usual beer stick toilet trip. Thanks, Dan.

Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Dan Vice there. That is a. Oh, yeah. Dan Vice there. That is a classic ketosis snack. Dan Vice. I have not eaten on the loo, but I work as a cleaner at a university campus and I always

find pie wrappers by the toilet. So someone's having a pie on the toilet. Oh, yuck. Somebody else used to have a cig and a coffee every morning on the toilet. Yeah. That's the good stuff. Oh, people are gross Somebody else used to have a cig and a coffee every morning on the toilet. That's the good stuff. Oh, people are gross. My boyfriend literally eats everything on the toilet. Cereal, cookies, anything, you name it.

He'll eat it while he's pooping. He sometimes even has a Weet-Bix in the shower. Oh, no. He's really time efficient, isn't he? Does he not have enough time in the day? Someone wants to know what if the only thing you eat on the toilet is like a kebab

at the end of a very boozy night? Oh that's 100% acceptable. That's more of a safety issue though isn't it? Yeah yeah yeah

lowering the centre of balance taking the weight off those legs. Better than waking up next to it in bed like I have done many times before. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. ZM's $100,000. All thanks to Neon Soundkeeper, Owls' Inn. And also you're a close contact now, Soundkeeper Owls. Break that news to you. Thanks. Thanks so much, Fletch. Welcome to the club. And you also don't get to play for the COVID Kitty anymore

because that's been taken by Fletch. Yeah, I won that $35. Is that what it was for? Yeah, first person to get COVID. Yeah. Shay joins us. Good morning, Shay. Hi, good morning.

How are you? Good. All right, no pressure. He's got COVID, Shay. He's got COVID. You, good morning. How are you? Good. All right. No pressure. He's got COVID, Shay. You don't ask a person with COVID-19. Shay, have you had COVID yet? Yes, unfortunately. You have. What one did you get? The Omicron. You got Omicron. And how did you feel? You felt all right? You're all right now? Yeah, I felt good. I really didn't have a choice. I just had to buck up because I had to look

after my little one as well. Because people messaging me saying it's either you get it really bad or you just have like a sniffle. Yeah, I had it bad for the first maybe two days and then I just got over it. Just had to get over it. Long COVID's no joke though, guys.

Rest up. A lot of shows to watch. Luckily, I have a Neon subscription. Oh, damn. We've got a Neon subscription for you as well, Shea, a 12-month. Every guest gets one. But right now, $100,000 on the line. This is the secret sound.

That $100,000 is yours if you can tell us what it is. Okay. I think, well, I'm just going to take a standing dog, but I think that it is someone's hand running across a keyboard or their fingertips running across the keyboard. Like a computer keyboard? Yeah. Because we had the across a hairbrush, didn't we, that guess?

Yeah, we did. Which it did sound. That was actually one of our guesses as well. Oh, wow. Okay. You're a big fan of, like, something happening in repetition. Like, one thing happening a whole bunch of times. You think this is just a snippet of that.

Yes. Have you got your keyboard there, Vaughan? Can you bring that up to the mic and give us a bit of a lay? Yeah, I can of that. Yes. Have you got your keyboard there, Vaughan? Can you bring that up to the mic and give us a bit of follow-up? Yeah, I can do that. Oh! That's not bad. Wow. Yeah, and then compare that to the... Also, Shay,

today's the $100,000 Thursday. Oh, God. Don't tell me that. You're double or nothing, baby. I mean, it doesn't have to be. If you only want $50,000, I'm more than happy to pop it down. No, no, no000 Thursday. Oh, God. Don't tell me that. You're double or nothing, baby. I mean, it doesn't have to be. If you only want $50,000, I'm more than happy to pop it down. No, no, no, no, no, no. We can split. Yeah, we can talk.

We can talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That can go into the Christmas party fund. Well, Shay, we're locking it in. Your hands are running across the keyboard. Yes, for $100,000 on our Thursday. Shay? That's not the secret.

Well, Shay, unfortunately, you don't go home empty-handed. You get that 12-month Neon subscription. You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Another chance with a $100,000 jackpot coming up. All thanks to Neon at 8 o'clock. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

ZM's $100,000 secret sound. $100,000 Thursday. It is a $100,000 Thursday, all thanks to Neon. Are we doing this every Thursday, Soundkeeper Owls, or is it just willy-nilly? Okay, right. Willy-nilly. Willy-nilly.

Yeah, we're not doing it willy-nilly. Every Thursday. Okay, well, this is Exciting stuff All thanks to Neon You can watch TV series And movies Handpicked for Kiwis By Kiwis

On Neon And now that I'm Home isolating For seven days I will be Yellowstone Neoning Yeah I know

That's on the list next It's on the list Yeah so good Another couple of Hips from me yesterday Give me that Kevin Costner Big daddy energy.

Now, we do want to point out that there was a clue given for the Secret Sound on the ZM Secret Sound Instagram. Now, the photo is of a scene from the office, US office. I see Phyllis. I see Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute. You can't tell me much more than just this photo. Yeah, there's a clue. That says to me that it's something that you would find in the office maybe,

in a normal office. That's what I'm deducing as well. I'm looking at, there's photos there, phones, keyboards, which was our guest this morning, fingers across a keyboard. Come on, guys, this isn't your first time around the block. The clues are always as cryptic as all buggery at this stage of the competition. Yeah, they are. They are. Start thinking laterally. Yes.

Alright, well, who have we got? We've got Emily on the phone. Mordena, Emily. Good morning. Hey, guys. Oh, we're really, really good. Fletcher's got COVID. I don't want to talk about it, Emily. Don't say, how are you guys? Fletcher's got COVID. I hope it doesn't hit you too hard.

Oh, thanks, Emily. Now, Emily, have you been on the ZM Secret Sound Instagram and looked through all of the guesses so far? I sure have. Okay, good. We don't want any double ups. Yeah, no, it's been the topic in our group chat. Oh, you've got a group chat.

Yeah. Does this mean when you have to split it with them, Emily? Oh, sure. Shout them something. Yeah, don't split it. Just keep some. You did the hard yards. Exactly.

Yeah. Okay, well, it is a $100,000 Thursday, Emily. This is the secret sound. For $100,000 cash, what is it? Is it an office stamp being pushed down? For $100,000 cash, what is it? Is it an office stamp being pushed down? Oh. Your name and your address or something.

Approved. Yep. Overduke. Do you have one in your office? Have you tested it out? I do. And I put it on a loop yesterday. Oh, well, you're doing this seriously, Emily.

What does your stamp say, Emily? It was my brand name, so it was The Guru Knows. Oh, okay. Well, she's tested it out. She knows the clues. It's not a double up. And it's $100,000 today, the jackpot. Safe to say she's not being willy-nilly with her guess. No, that's good.

That's what we want. Emily? You can tell your group chat. That is not the secret. All right. Hey, back to the drawing, Bubba. We do have for you a... Did you just call her Bub?

I don't think you can call callers Bub. Vaughn, I've got COVID, okay? My brain's shrinking and I'm getting foggy. Your brain is shrinking. Listeners, Bub. Back to the drawing board, Bub. No, I said back to the drawing board. I said back to the drawing board and it went Bub.

Sorry, Bub. Hey, Emily, we have for you a 12-month Neon subscription. You can sign up now if you're listening for your free 14-day trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. You're going to love that, bubs. Yeah. Bye, bubs.

Bye, bubs. Bye, bubs. All right, another chance is coming up at 11. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.