ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 17th March 2023

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Top 6: Celeb Phone Companies   Silly Little Poll!   Workplace Feuds   Final Rankings!   What are they not ready to laugh at?   Vaughan got Hurried!   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee by redeeming your MyMaccas rewards. Now, listeners to the show and the podcast yesterday would have heard you talk about the chase. Yes.

Your new, this is your new initiative. The clothes towel chase in my house. The Chase Yes Your new This is your new initiative The Clothes Towel Chase In my house To get your kids to Pick up their god damn towels and clothes It's a thing on the fridge And if I pick up their towels and clothes I move one square forward

Yes But they're being judged as individuals Yes So August has got to look after herself And Indy's got to look after herself Oh, Shanley Pajamas is in With a big piece of paper. Is this a custom?

I believe now, yes, we can reveal for the fridge in color. Oh, wow. We're the chasers. That is so good. That's good, and a little sticky tape, so we moved down the board. Interesting that Sade's made the board, and you're on the board as well. That's the socks. She's going to be on there, and She could be chasing one of the other ones.

This is great, isn't it? Okay. Yes. This is great. So I've actually heard from some parents that said, we need a template. Well, this could be it. This could be it. And we could leave the blank spaces and you write in the names.

Now, is that enough squares? Is that how many they have or do we need more? Oh, wow. And they've got little cutouts on yours. That's so cool. Yeah. That's very cute. Great work, Shannon. And they've got little cutouts on yours. That's so cool. Yeah. That's very cute. Great work, Shannon.

So we all start here. That's fantastic. We have to put this online later. This is great. Yes. And I'll be chasing them down the refrigerator to get to the bottom. Maybe start up there. Yeah, that works.

Oh, that's great. Thanks, Tame. That's bloody fantastic. That's a real upgrade. The kids are going to like that better. I like that you've been photoshopped onto a woman wearing a... Is it a woman or a man? I think it's a man. It's a man. Is that a a woman or a man i think it's a man it's a man it's a big man it's a man he's just a big lady i did i did see a breast outline you were dancing around that fat man

fat man on the chase got titties and he's got quite large shoulders the big shoulder broad shoulder she's a swimmer boomer shoulders there Yeah In that one Oh that's great Yeah There we go That's us I mean everyone will be smiling And loving this on the fridge Until they're leaving their towels And stuff on the floor

Yeah And then dad's Dad's caught them Yeah And he's moving down the Moving down He gets the treat If he gets

We might change the rules Actually Yeah Now that all four of us are playing Well we'll get that template online I reckon Because that's brilliant That's brilliant

Yeah We might need a few more squares Because you wouldn't do it in kind of a week situation, don't you? You don't want to be having to give away treats and rewards that easily. Just for something they should be fucking doing. A couple more squares

very depletes the chance of ever getting to the end and you're right, they should be doing it. You're giving them a treat every week for doing chores. I mean, in our day, we would have got a high day. I don't know how my dad because I get sick of being grumpy. Yeah. Like with the towel things, I just get kind of sick of being like, guys, towels. And I hear it coming out of my mouth and I'm like, I'm tired of being this guy.

My dad had endless amounts of energy for being a grumpy asshole in the head, isn't he? A bottomless well of just love being grumpy. Maybe it's different when you've got sons, though. Because I feel like sons are way worse than daughters. Sons are worse. Until the teenage years. Yes. And then the boot is well and truly on the other foot, isn't it?

Good luck with that. The other foot, indeed. I'm really looking forward to those stories, though. I am not. I'm really looking forward to those stories. I'm not. I am. Take it or leave it.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Mine is Hayley, who's at Marching Nationals. Nationals start today in Christchurch. It's a competition start today.

Well, yeah, because they've been doing the warm-up thing. The warm-ups, yeah. The practice. A climatising. A climatising to the altitude of Christchurch. Yeah, because it's a little bit higher than what they're used to. It's like South Africa when the All Blacks go there. They need to get there a little early.

Although, like, did you see the weather for the weekend? A bit of a cold snap for especially the South Island. Yeah. So that'll be horrible. You know, yesterday we said we were worried about Aaron. Oh, yeah. From Nova. Hayley's partner.

I caught up with him yesterday. Did you do a welfare check? He came around. Oh, yeah. For a graver from Nova. Hayley's partner. I caught up with him yesterday. Did you do a welfare check? He came around. Oh, okay. Because Smith storage that has been storing Matty McLean's wedding wine since his wedding in January. January 1st. And he still won't pick it up. He hasn't picked it up.

It has slowly been depleted. The good news is the longer he leaves it, the less he's got to collect. Yeah, that's good for him. Of the wine. Less the lift. Now it becomes Smith & Smith storage for the Sproul Courtesy family. Oh, okay. They've got some furniture and their house isn't built yet, so that's been stacked up in the garage too.

Right. Are you charging money to these people? I mean, at least you get the McLean wine. Yes. Whereas there's nothing you can take from Hayley. Well, there'll be things I can just make. There's things in the future I'll be able to take from her Just say no That's payment for that time I stored your cash

Yeah, if she's eating something I'll just go and have a bite And I'll be like that's That's tax That's storage tax Yeah, that's how tax works That's how tax works You don't get a say

I just take some The top six is coming up on the show Ryan Reynolds sold Mint Mobile The mobile network he started or his company started. But on the back of another company, right? Piggybacking. Yeah. Like Skinny do. T-Mobile.

T-Mobile. Yeah. He was using their network. Yeah. He sold Mint Mobile to T-Mobile for two billion New Zealand dollars. That's insane. Does he get all of that

or just like a portion? Well, he's got like a company so I'd imagine there's other people that need to be paid from that. But payday for Ryan Reynolds. Still staying on

as like the creative kind of front person. Yes. So much money. So now they're paying him a wage as well as paying him for the company. It's a dream come true.

Congratulations to him. But he's making endless amounts of cash. But the top six is the top six New Zealand celebrities that need their own cell phone networks. Oh, yeah. You're thinking they'll be getting in on this? Yes. Okay. I reckon they're going to launch it.

Next on the show, a warning from Dunedin police. Today, happy St. Patrick's Day. Top of the morning to you. I would have worn a green t-shirt. That's kind of... Mine's boggy green. It's like a grey green. It's a grey green. I call it Pete Green. Very Irish. Close enough. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Happy St. Patrick's Day Oh man, that's bad Irish I was going to say Salante That's the Irish cheers Is it? Okay

I have not said it right Have they greened the river in Chicago? They always do that Oh my god, that's incredible Also, how do they get away with that? Is that not polluting? It's a natural dye Natural dye? It disperses But still, polluting? It's a natural dye I think that just disperses.

But still, yeah. Pretty insane. It's a very vibrant green. They green an entire river. But today, St. Patrick's Day, and students in Dunedin have been warned by police just to calm down, basically. You're not Irish. They're saying that

students that climb on top of roofs during St. Patrick's Day celebrations could find themselves in cuffs. Is this a bit of a problem on St. Patrick's Day, climbing a roof? Well, it's leprechaun behaviour, isn't it? Is it something that they do all the time? They're always on roofs.

They famously... It's so hard to get these kids off roofs. Well, according to police in Dunedin, extra staff have been rostered on because it's St. Patrick's Day. Last year's celebrations were marred by couch fires and two students being badly injured after falling from buildings. So I'm assuming that's why the warning's there this year. Right.

Because of the people that fell off the buildings last year. Right. Yes. Don't do that. Now, police, apparently two parties had been registered so far. You've got to register your parties. Why would you do that? You register your parties with the police.

Flats have been encouraged to register their parties, and police have made contact with occupants to remind them of their responsibilities. So you register your party, they're like, oi, just rein it in. Right.

Don't jump off the roof. And they know where you are. Yeah. But then they know where you are. Yeah. So, I don't know if that's a good idea. Also, if you're hosting

and it's a little unpredictable, you'd register with it and then send them the code word. No, send the police the code word. How? Abort. And then they'll come the code word, abort.

And then they come around and shut down the party. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you've been warned. For the St. Patrick's Day and here on out. Because you're, how much Irish are you? I just checked again because I saw it was St. Patrick's Day, so I logged on to Ancestry.com.

Great news. I've had a bump because you remember I was down to 6% Irish, which was unacceptable. I've got my app here somewhere, Ancestry All in all, a great update on Ancestry.com My Scottish has gone from 2 thirds down to 60% So that 6% has been redistributed Here's the good news Amongst Irish and a big bump in Swedish

9% Swedish Are you 9% Swedish? Are you 9% Swedish? I'm 9% Swedish. I'm 6% Swedish in Denmark. Yeah, that's my 9%. So you're more Swedish than me. Yeah. Unbelievable.

Are you any Norway? No Norway. I'm 4% Norway. Which is weird because that's the part of Scandinavia that I can literally, I've got a birth certificate of, well, I've got access to. There's a copy of a birth certificate at dad's place

of like a great, great, great, great grandfather that was born there. But you're 0%. And Frederick's something. It's so fascinating, isn't it? You spit on a stick, you send it away. And every month you can log on and it's just changed a little bit.

It's changed a little bit. I'm 17% Irish. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I'm more Irish than I am. But about it. I'm 17% Irish. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Oh, you're more Irish than I am. But good news is I'm now confirmed 3% Germanic Europe. So I can do the German accent and not be cancelled. Because you've got 3% German ancestry. 3% possible German ancestry. Yeah, it's a fair call.

There's a new most popular dog breed in America which for years has been the Labrador. I only recently found out that Labradors, well there's an area of the upper east coast of the Americas in Canada called Labrador and that's where Labradors are from. It's by Newfoundland

which is where Newfoundlands are from. And I always assumed that Golden Retrievers were from there too. Golden Retrievers are Scottish. They're a Scottish are from. And I always assumed that golden retrievers were from there too. Golden retrievers are Scottish. They're a Scottish dog breed. And is there a place called golden retriever? No, it's just because they retrieve and they're coloured with gold. Lame.

If they were named, I don't know where they were exactly from in Scotland. Glasgow. Glaswegian. Glaswegian retrievers. They'd just be called Glaswegian Retrievers. They'd just be called Glaswegians, I guess. It's a Scottish breed of retriever dog of medium size. Yeah, so it's just called Golden because it's like, oh, that's a good-looking dog.

They're a cute dog. They always look like they're smiling. I've got one in home, he's painted the house. He's a humper. Richie's a humper. So I was just trying to, Labrador Retriever ranked number one dog in New Zealand. Yeah.

With a quick Google search. 41,000 in total that were registered. 41,000? Yeah, that's what it says here. That's a lot of dogs. I don't know. We'll stop, let alone with a specific breed. This is an article from September 21.

Okay. Yeah, followed by the Hunterway, Border Collie. The Hunterway is the second most popular. Farming dogs, I suppose. Yeah, followed by the Hunterway, Border Collie. The Hunterway is the second most popular. Farming dogs, I suppose. Yeah, farming dogs. Border Collie, three. Heading dog. New Zealand heading dog.

What's a heading dog? It's a dog that doesn't bark. Well, that's good. You want one of those. It's a farming dog that doesn't bark. Works with sheep and stuff. Very clever dogs. That's for Jack Russell Terrier, number five.

Yuck. The Staffordshire Bull Terrier, six. Yuck. Miniature Schnauzer, seven. Yuck. Yuck. German Shepherd, eight. Nice, cute, but had problems.

American Pit Bull Terrier at nine. Not for me. Chihuahua is number 10. I'm a dog snob and I know it. And I make no apologies. I'm a cat snob and I know it too. Ooh, get your tabby away from me. Oh, no, tabby.

No, get them away. But interesting that the new American number one dog breed is not even on that list. It is the French Bulldog, which upsets me greatly. And not because of the French Bulldog. We did it. Yeah, we're the blame. We're the problem here.

I never blame the dogs for the problem. The humans are the problem. We've bred problem here. I never blame the dogs for the problem. The humans are the problem. We've bred that thing. So it has, from an article, and I can cite this, from biomedcentral.com, French Bulldogs have higher risk of 20 common health disorders. French Bulldogs were at significantly greater risk than other dogs of narrowed nostrils.

42% 42 times higher. They had to cut a slit down the side. The vet had to cut a slit down the nostrils. So it could breathe. So it could breathe properly. When it was lying a specific way. So 42 times more at risk of narrowed nostrils.

Yep. Obstructive airway syndrome, 30 times greater risk. Air discharge, which can lead to like aggravation, scratching and deafness as well. 14 times greater risk. Skin dermatitis, 11 times greater risk than the average dog. All because we're bred in this way. 63% of French Bulldogs were diagnosed with one or more of those disorders

compared to other dog breeds. Yeah, sometimes I see people posting you French Bulldog and I'm like, you can't afford that. What's about to happen? They're uninsurable, am I correct? I don't know. Maybe they are, but you would pay through the roof. Very expensive dogs to insure.

And you should always have pet insurance because they come out of nowhere. The number one dog in America. I mean, they're so cute though. Don't get me wrong. I would love one. I would love one. They're so cute. Them and Pugs. I would love one I would love one They're so cute Them and Pugs

And again It's not the Pugs fault But Pugs are loud You imagine walking around Having to breathe like that all day It's hard work Yeah When you get a little sniffly cold

In your eyes Then you get the weepy They always get the weepy eyes Pugs always look like They've been crying Because they've got the weepy eyes But for that To be the number one In the entire country cold in your eyes. Then you get the weepy, they always get the weepy eyes. Pugs always look like they've been crying because they've got the weepy eyes. But for that,

to be the number one in the entire country, that's huge. Yeah, and then- And you can't tell me all of those are from breeders. Dude, I read some stats yesterday. There was something like 20,000 outlets

for French Bulldogs. Like breeders per se. And only 300 of the 20,000 had met like the minimum standard of what people expected, like professional people expected of dog breeders. That's not good, is it? Nah.

Nah, nah. And there's so many dogs that need rehousing at adoption places at the moment. Well, you rescued Richie, didn't you? Yeah. He's a rescue dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chain dog rehab. They've got those retrievers. places at the moment. Well, you rescued Richie, didn't you? Yeah. He's a rescue dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chain dog rehab.

They've got those retrievers. This is the problem. People get retrievers and then the retrievers don't stop eating and people just keep feeding them and they get a little fat. Hey, we all do. I'd be a golden retriever if I was a dog.

I'm 60% Scottish and I can't be stopped from eating either. No. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley from the self-driving ZM Think Tank. This is the top six. Okay.

That was close. I just wrote the last one. Hold on. By the skin of his teeth. Well, news that Ryan Reynolds, who purchased ownership, an ownership stake in Mint Mobile in 2019, yesterday sold it for $1.35 US billion. So what, two-ish billion?

Yeah. Now, so reports are that he owns 20-29% of that company. So he's not the full backer. So he didn't... Still great paid it. Yeah, I mean he didn't take home two point whatever New Zealand billion but he got a good stake of it.

He was the face of it. He did like the advertising for it. And staying on as well as the face of it. So he'll still get money. Yeah. But yeah, isn't that insane money? Yeah, great. And staying on as well as the face of it. So he'll still get money. Yeah. But yeah, isn't that insane money? Yeah, great. And it was a network that piggybacks off another network anyway. Like they didn't have to set up cell towers or anything.

No, they didn't. Insane. So I thought, why aren't people doing this here in New Zealand? I've got the top six New Zealand celebrities that could have their own cell phone networks. I like this idea. Yeah, they could get out there. Yeah, what we've only got, do we have four?

Four or five? There's... Spark. Spark. One, which used to be Vodafone. Yeah, there's Two Degrees. Skinny. And then, do the warehouse, like, do they have one?

I feel like they do. Yeah, they do. But then they'd piggyback off whatever network. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've got the top six celebrities that could have their own cell phone networks. Number six on the list, Liz Gunn. Oh.

You know, ex-TV presenter and now conspiracy theory rabbit holist. Will her network go through the 5G tower? Guaranteed no 5G network. That's her network specialty. Basically, it's a series of strings attached to cups. But the good part about it, no chance of the 5G towers? Guaranteed no 5G network. That's her network specialty. Basically, it's a series of strings attached to cups. But the good part about it, no chance of the 5G activating the chips in the vaccine. Yeah, but then good chance that your phone calls

will be intercepted by police could listen to the string. Well, they could just bite the string and then the vibration travels up their jawbone into their ear. Yep. Would that work? You'd probably muffle a bit of the vibration. You'd know it.

It was like the old days where you'd pick up the other landline to listen to your siblings' phone conversations. Okay. You'd hear a click. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six celebrity networks that we could have here in New Zealand are the Flight of the Conchords. Oh, yeah.

Cell phone network. The network stops working at its best and always leaves you wanting more. Oh, yeah. Just the right time. Yeah, they did. They got out. They left us always leaves you wanting more. Oh, yeah. Just the right time. Yeah, they did. They got out. They left us all wanting so much more.

But it's pretty not what you want from your network in case of emergency. Yeah. God, that was a good network. It never had any faults and then it just disappeared.

Just stopped. Number four on the list of the top six New Zealand celebrities that could have their own cell phone networks. Sored's Everest Network. Guaranteed coverage everywhere. Because there's literally a

tower on the highest mountain. Yep. Yeah, good. Yep. Just does the whole world, does it? Great coverage from the top of Everest. Great coverage. Full bars, full bars. Number three on the list of the top six New Zealand celebrities that could have their own cell phone networks are Russell Crowe's Pacific Roaming Network.

It specialises for those going to Australia and never coming back. And you can get the Keith Urban package on that also. Oh, is that like an extra gig? Yeah, it's an extra gig. Okay, good. Yeah. Number two on the list are the top six New Zealand celebrities

that could have their own cell phone networks. The Peter Jackson Cell Phone Network. Oh, okay. Endless minutes for a conversation that could have been 90 minutes long but is instead three hours and three parts. Yeah, sometimes you just need more time. Sometimes you just need to tell the story. Yeah.

And number one on the list of the top six New Zealand celebrities that could have their own cell phone networks, the Cliff Curtis Network. You're not sure where the network's from, because you're pretty sure it's from here, but it's also played every part of the world. Oh, yeah, okay. So, a little bit of ambiguity as to whereabouts that network's based, but you're pretty sure it's here, eh? It's here, eh?

I think it's here. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Well, a lot of AI news stories in the news recently. This has been the year of AI. It's going to make life a lot easier, but also I feel it makes it a lot scarier.

Yeah. Like, have you heard any of the AI, the voice programs that generate, that generate, like, you input 10, 5, 10 minutes of you speaking. Like, people have done this for the president. The first time I saw this happening, I assumed that I kind of heard it in different places, but I assumed it was like big tech companies

that had some like special programs. Yeah. It's not. It's just an internet site where you just like get a membership. Yeah, people are just basically creating these programs. Yeah, the first one I saw yesterday, I showed you, it was the guy we used to work with, Tav. Tav Lover on Instagram makes memes and such.

Tav put up this video. I was like, what's going on here? How did you do this? And he's like, dude, I just logged on to this AI voice program. I was like, I don't like this at all. He's like, yeah, you just upload. He said it works really well with American and British accents. But the Kiwi accents, you have to say, like,

we say some of our T's as D's. Like, we say party. So you've got to spell it like you want it to speak it. Yes, I guess so. In a chat program. Yeah, I guess so. Because the very first one I ever heard was somebody playing a message as if it was President Obama that had sent them a message on this podcast. Yes.

Which was plausible. I was like, oh, my God, that's so cool. They got a message. And then they were like, oh, by the way, that's chat. That's AI. That's AI. And I was like, you are kidding me. Like, it was bang on.

And I've heard celebrities, I've heard different celebrities, and they all sound like it could be them. Like, we could fake up an interview with a celebrity. I don't like it. It's weird, right? And then add that to like fake video. And we're going to be doing and saying things that we didn't do in like a few years. Yeah.

That's good though. Because then when you do do something bad, you can be like, I'm pretty sure that's a deep fake. You can be like, that's deep fake. I'm a deep fake. Well, there's a new, because these services are being rolled out and updated all the time, chat. GPT4 is a new open AI which has been released. And so it's been put through its test by Journos.

It's the open part that worries me. Keep it closed. Do we need all this? Open source AI just means everybody can get in, right? Yeah. It's going to learn too much. Keep it locked up. I know.

Until we know. So it was being put through its tests, its paces, and it was asked to go onto a website, and part of that website had one of those captures. Oh, yeah. To leave all the boxes with a motorcycle in it. Yeah, or with a pedestrian crossing or a traffic light. And then there's one square where there's a slither of those captures, you know? Oh, yeah. Collect all the boxes with a motorcycle in it. Yeah, or with a pedestrian crossing or a traffic light. And then there's one square where there's like a slither of traffic light

and you're like, do I tick that? Because technically it's a slither. I think you tick that. I always tick it. But apparently those things are done by how quick you do it, not how accurate. Like you've still got to be accurate, but it's more about being quick. Taking your time.

That's what I heard anyway. Anyway, this AI program, when it got to about being quick. Taking your time. That's what I heard anyway. Anyway, this AI program, when it got to this capture bit of the website, said, no, I'm not a robot. So it lied about being AI. It said, I have a vision impairment, which makes it hard for me

to see the images. So it was like, help me, help me. It asked for humans' help to do it. So it lied about being a robot because it didn't want to do the capture and it wanted a human to do it. And everyone's just like, oh, okay. So these things know how to lie now. I don't like that.

Yeah. I don't like that at all. Yeah, that's, uh. I don't want to talk about it. But then how many jobs are going to be like. I don't want to talk anymore because it's taking my voice. Yeah. Make me say things. Well talk anymore because it's taking my voice. Yeah. It's going to make me say things.

Well, I think it's too late. Dude, I can't wait. A million hours of your voice on podcast. So that means it's going to be really lifelike. Yeah. Brilliant. Deniability. I didn't do that.

I didn't do that. That was AI. Was it? Mm-hmm. Prove it. You can't, can you? I would like to... Is there a way to prove it but i am visually impaired

would you be able to help me i can see i can see it's learning from the best yeah play cdm's fletchborn and hayley Silly Little Pole today is about tall people in concerts. Where should the tall people stand at the concerts? Just because they have been gifted beautiful, beautiful height, should they be forced to the rear? I was so surprised. Hayley and I, when we went to my camp at the weekend, so many tall people ahead of us.

Oh, all the little emos grew up. They all grew up. And we were just like, we're not short. We're like six foot. Like that's average. Yeah. And we were just like, we're not short. We're like six foot. Like, that's average. Yeah. And there were so many tall people. Yeah.

And so, yeah, if you're shorter, horrible. We're getting taller as a species. Should tall people stand at the back of concerts? 65% of people said yes. 35% of people said no. I'm six foot and I always stand at the back of everything and anything and I hate being in people's way. You're only six foot, Sarah. No. Sarah's six foot and I always stand at the back of everything and everything and anything and I hate being

in people's way you're only six foot Sarah Sarah's six foot you shouldn't be ashamed you should be right in there girl yeah get in there get in there girl get right in there

maybe it's also because six foot's tall for a female and you're yeah you don't worry about that I feel like the seating on the side

if you're at like say for example Spark Arena that's where you want to go if you're a bit shorter, right? Because then you're not getting an obscured view. Yes. Unless people stand up. Hey, when people stand up in the seats, sit down. This is exactly what the next person said.

I've got a seat. Worst are the dickheads that stand up in front of the seat they've purchased. Sit down, Susan. I need to see FFS. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. You pay for seats but they stand up

the whole time. Laura said, I went to Harry and it was the best but I caught half a glimpse of him once on screen because I'm five foot two.

So she's a little shorty. Yeah, okay. And she needs someone to put her on their shoulders during a concert. But then you're probably right. The big screens help. The big screens help.

Even for little shorties. If everyone just put their damn phone down, maybe our shorties would be able to see. Fine, says Joe. Oh, yeah, fair call. It's not the tall people. It's the phones everywhere that are obscuring the view. Louise said those tall people have paid just as much as anyone else.

They can stand wherever they want. Yeah, fair call. Agreed, Louise. Courtney says absolutely the F not. It's not my problem short people are vertically challenged. This is also the Courtney that blew

open the Potter Brothers chocolate situation. Is that? I knew when I saw the name, I was like, I've seen it before because it's Courtney without the E. That's why I always say Courtney. Yeah, okay. Try to skip whatever E sound is in there.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Don't mess with her. Don't mess with her. She'll scalpel open your double chocolate lump. And she'll know. She'll know. Tasha says, being very torn myself, I'm super self-conscious of blocking people's views.

But if I got there early so I can actually see the artist, so they can obviously notice me and fall in love with me, then I'm sorry, but you will have to look over my shoulder. Sorry, but we're constantly helping you guys at the supermarket with stock off the high shelves. This is our reward. It's our payback for getting stuff off the top shelf. And her Instagram handle is

tallkiwichick. Oh, okay, so she's tall. She's tall. Now, was she referencing Harry Styles falling in love? I assume so. Did that happen? Do we know? No word. He left that. She might have changed her username to Harry's chick. Harry's new, yeah.

And Emma said everybody should just sit the F down. Just sit down. Actually, I don't mind if everyone's sitting, right? You know like when they put those white plastic chairs out? Yep, yep. Everyone's having a seat. Like, was that Elton?

That was at Mount Smart, but everything was sitting. Elton did that, Adele was like that. That was good. Oh, I love that. Yeah. But if you're paid for standing... Yeah, then you want to stand. So you're right, isn't it?

I'm a real believer of just tall people making the most of what they've been given there. From a six-foot-two person. Yep. Yep. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Two flight attendants have had an argument and it has caused a two hour delay because they couldn't stand working with each other.

That is wild. Isn't that wild? To be honest, I love it. So it all started when a passenger didn't like their seat selection and they wanted to change. And then so the flight attendants ended up arguing and they apparently do not like each other.

And so they had to find other staff. And then the plane could take off. But you imagine like it would be wild as a pilot or a flight attendant, like for a pilot, for example. You'd be in closed space for an insane amount of time with someone you don't like. But every time you fly a plane, it's a different person. Is it?

Well, it would be. They don't like team up. Like imagine if you, every time the radio show happened, it's like, oh, you're on, you're doing the morning show this week. Yeah. And then today it's you and your co-pilot is, and it could be a new person. Barry.

Because there's like hundreds of pilots. I don't like that. I thought they kind of had buddy systems. I thought there might be two or three options, but I didn't know it was just an open. And they're like, you love working with Terry. Yeah, you and Terry make a great team. You and Terry always fly and land perfectly.

Gosh, yes. No bumps. Well, they call him No Bumps Terry. No Bumps Terry. NBT. And you have some great banter during the flight. Oh, don't we have fun up there? We'll just reset the cockpit voice recorder because we had some really horrific conversations.

And I turn a blind eye when Terry, you know, has his break. What's the head host's ears? I turn a blind eye. You turn a blind eye. I know Terry's wife. I feel terrible for doing that. Terry does make some inappropriate comments to the flight attendants, but he's from a different generation.

Terrible Terry, we call him. Terrible, but smooth landing, Terry. No bumps, Terry. Yeah, no bumps, Terry. No bumps, terrible Terry. But that's the thing. You imagine, like, in an office, it's generally the same people you're working with,

but there could be people coming and going and you're working with different people all the time. So this happens. And it's caused a flight to be, this is in America, by the way, caused a flight to be two hours late

because they had to get new staff. Because the flight attendants did, they hated each other so much they could not fly. Well, yeah. Was that a fruit fly?

I don't know what it was. I just found something on my forehead and it tickled so I grabbed it and then it was black and I didn't know whatled, so I grabbed it, and then it was black, and I didn't know what it was, so I flipped it off. I think it was a fruit fly.

It felt like a spider, and that's why I was immediately like, get it off. Because I kept looking at your forehead being like, is that a bit of fluff or a fruit fly? I think it might have been fluff. It was pretty big. There are a lot of fruit flies in here. Were they big? That was pretty big. It was quite big, yeah.

Okay, well, maybe it was a fruit fly. I am a sweet little apple. We wanted to ask this morning if there is a workplace argument that just got out of hand. Yeah. And how did it put everybody else out? Yeah. Like, were you in a factory working with someone, you had a fight, you hit the emergency stop button and everything ran to a halt.

And all the tin baked beans went everywhere. Went backed up. Yeah. And the machine was like... But no tins were coming in. The baked beans were going everywhere. It was a real calamity. Well, it's always going to happen when you put a group of, you know, a lot of people together.

Yeah. Not everyone is going to get on. That's just a fact of life. That's humans. But, you know, you try to... And less so these days. You try to make it work. Well, we want to take your calls.

0800-DARLS-AT-M. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. How bad did a workplace fight get? Like a disagreement, like a dislike of somebody else? Maybe there's someone at work you don't talk to, so you have to ask Sue to talk to them or Terry. You have to go through Terry to ask them

because you don't want to deal with them. Well, No Bumps Terrible Terry also has a wonderful way of dealing with things. He does. Yeah, he does. Pretty how he keeps getting out of trouble with his wife. Yeah. Oh, No Bumps. What will we do with you next?

Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Yep. When did it get out of hand to your workplace? A disagreement and an argument. Well, it's apparently a now deleted TikTok. I would love to have seen this because two flight attendants had an argument and basically stormed off the plane because they didn't want to work with each other anymore.

So the flight was delayed two hours. This is in America. And we want to know from you this morning, what workplace arguments have gone down? How bad did it get? How bad did it get? How bad did it get? And what did it put a lot of people out? Because these passengers just sat there as these two had an argument. One of them looks quite sassy.

Do you know what? If you're going to be delayed on an airport runway, though, not a bad way to put it. Bit of drama. Bit of drama, yeah. Oh, did you hear that? Oh. And then someone behind you is like, I missed that. What did they say?

And you're like, you've got to listen more closely. I'm not repeating everything that they say, but. So we want to know when it went down at your workplace and what went wrong. Some messages in, I hated my workmates so much I walked out one day and moved to Finland. That works. And they're back now? They must be. I'm listening from Finland.

Oh. To which I say, good morning. I'm 9% Danish. Oh. To which I say, good morning. I'm 9% Danish. Oh, no, that was Danish. I'm next door. We just updated our ancestry.com because it's in Patrickstown. We wanted to see if we qualified to celebrate.

Now, I've got the Finnish words for good morning. And good luck with that, Vaughn. Hej var hommintaar hoi minta. Hoa minta. I'm assuming the things over the A's are like aah. Hay vaar hoi minta. And there's two A's with two things on top of them, so that's like a real

hay vaar hoi minta. No, I think you've got to hold it longer. Hay vaar hoi minta. There we go, that's good morning in Finnish. Now, would you do that if you were saying good morning in Chinese? No, you wouldn't. But that's because we've got Finnish bloodlines, so we're allowed to. They're our ancestors.

So we can make light of the words. Or the short version of the greeting for good morning. It's just a homenta. Or a manta. I mean, tell us if we're saying that wrong. I'm assuming we may be. Apologies to our Finnish listeners listeners There should be a pronunciation guide Why are you

I don't know Just Google Nah it doesn't have that thing Where you just click the speaker That's always good fun And it tells you Anyway What are we talking about?

Workplace disagreements Someone said We were on a building site once And two guys Who had both recently started, who both considered themselves to be quite the experts in the building industry, had a disagreement on how something should be done. And it came to blows, like a full-blown fist fight.

And everyone else just stopped and watched. And then they both got laid off because apparently, according to the boss, they were both doing it wrong. Right. Emma messaged in, I feel so awkward hearing about any workplace drama's intention. That's why I remain self-employed. According to the boss, they were both doing it wrong. Right. Emma messaged in, I feel so awkward hearing about any workplace drama's intention. That's why I remain self-employed.

Oh, yeah. What do you do if you get angry with yourself? You call yourself stupid. Yeah. God, Emma, why are you so stupid? The boss won't give me a pay rise. Yeah. God, I hate the boss so much. And you are the boss.

You are the boss. Yeah. But you've got to be firm. You've got to be firm. You've got to be firm with yourself. Firm but fair. I feel like if I was my own boss, I'd just talk to myself more. Like those kind of conversations.

Yeah. I'd give myself a lot of positive affirmations. Okay. Great morning. Take the afternoon off. That sort of thing. Yep. At our work day, everybody was drunk and someone bottled the boss because they had an argument

with him and he wouldn't give them a pay rise. I tell you what's not going to get you a pay rise. Bottling the boss. Bottling the boss. Unless he gets a brain injury and that makes him like... Super generous. Super generous. You dislodged something.

Yeah, that part of the brain. That's not something I would recommend just undertaking. No. That seems like a surgical situation. Well, it's a salt. It's a bottle. It's a salt and it's not to be recommended whatsoever. One work colleague from Hamilton

slept with another work colleague's wife from Auckland, so the Auckland guy drove down to Hamilton to punch the guy and then drove back home. Oh, wow. That's a lot of petrol. That's a lot of petrol for a punch. And a lot of times be angry. Mind you, with that new Huntley bypass,

you'd be there in no time. You would be. And I always assume a punch is delivered out of peak traffic hours too. Yeah. I assume it's in the evening. It'd be a harder punch if you had to sit through peak hour traffic. You'd be wild by the time you got there. Or you would have cooled off and realised it takes two to tango.

Yeah. You know? And maybe you'd be neglecting your wife's needs. Yeah. We all have needs. And you should never neglect them. Had a great pash last night. Oh.

You know, we talked about that on the show yesterday. Wow, okay. We talked about that on the show yesterday. This was the therapist's idea for a relationship is to have a pash. Did anybody else have a pash? Did anybody else have a pash last night? Checking in. Jared, did you have a pash last night?

I might have had a pash last night. You had a pash last night. Oh, okay. And how's the relationship feel this morning? Stronger than ever? Stronger than ever. Did you tell a pash last night? I might have had a pash last night. You had a pash last night. Oh, okay. How's the relationship feel this morning? Stronger than ever? Stronger than ever. Did you tell the middy, did you say this is a thing we have to do every day

because the therapist said that it's the key to a successful relationship? No, what I did is I got some rose petals, I spread it out on the bed. Yuck. It was just supposed to be a pash. No. Put some seal on.

You have seal? No. No. Kiss from a rose rose hard to make love to the sounds of a seal that seal that seal oh that one

right okay that one Carl Wayne I actually brought this up with my partner because I had talked to you guys about it and he was like

oh you were listening to the show yesterday yeah I was thank you for listening thank you big fan big fan thank you first time caller

and she's lying. She's been on air every day pretty much. And he said, wow, I can't believe you lied on air. We never pash. I know, hurtful, eh? Did you then have a pash? Then I was like, all right, let's go then.

Let's have a pash. Oh, so it was forced? Yeah. I wanted a standing pash. Oh. She's a lot shorter though. Not a lot shorter. I could go down. She could come up. Oh, yeah. We'd meet midway and have a pash, but she didn't want a standing pash. Oh. She's a lot shorter though. I could go down, she could come

up, would meet midway and have a pash but she didn't want a standing pash. Oh, she'd like to lie down. Now she's hung over from One Republic. Oh no, she's long distance too. How embarrassing. Oh yeah, you're long distance. Do you know Zoom long distance? No, but maybe I'll write that down.

Zoom pash. Do you have a bit of glitter on your head? I'm a mess. Yeah, okay, you are. Mum got drunk at One Republic last night. Jesus. I'm a mess over here. I was like, what's happening?

I didn't want to say anything. Far be it from me to say a woman looks like a mess. Yeah. So I didn't, but then Shannon admitted she wasn't well, and I was like, what's happened? And she's like, I thought she was sick. Yeah, same. You know, I was ready to deliver some pity.

Yeah. And then she said I got drunk last night at One Republic, and I was like, well, you are absolutely on your own. We have the lights dimmed in here for me. No lights are on at all. We gave away a competition We gave away a We had a competition And there was a competition

And the competition was to go see Taylor Swift in the US The opening weekend of her tour Which I believe is called Taylor's Tour of Places With songs That's exactly what it's called, Vaughn. Taylor's Tour of Places with songs. Ella and Brooke, join us.

Good morning in Arizona this morning. Good morning. Hi. Wow. What part of Arizona are you in? Do you know the city you're in? Phoenix, and it's 11.30 Thursday morning. Yeah.

Thursday morning. So you went back to the future. We did. We really did. We had two Wednesdays. We had two Wednesdays. It was a very long day. I know morning. So you went back to the future? We did. We really did. We had two Wednesdays. We had two Wednesdays. It was a very long day. I know, but when you get back, you're going to miss one.

You're going to miss a whole day. Yeah, that is true. Leave on Monday, get back on Wednesday. Yeah, that's going to be weird. Wow. Tuesday, see you soon, sis. This is your first both. Is this both your first time to America?

No, I haven't been in like 12 years. Yeah, but it's my first time. How big are the food portions? Dude, massive. I ordered like a drink at the airport and it was like the size of my head. And that's like a small over there, eh? It's crazy.

Pretty much. It's just standard, yeah. And then you order a large and it's like, I wouldn't be able to drink this in the space of three days. It's a bucket. Yeah, it's literally a bucket.

Yeah, it really is. It's a bucket with a straw. God bless America. So the concert is the first show tomorrow night. How excited are you both? I'm really excited, yeah. We can't wait. Have you seen other Swifties walking

around? We saw someone at the airport who had, like, had made a post. She was obviously waiting for a friend. She, like, made a post, like, let's put an Eris tour together and stuff. So, yeah. That's it so far. Yeah. That's it so far.

Okay. What are you going to do before the concert? Some exploring, I think. We've got a few things planned over the next few days, but we're going to do before the concert? Some exploring, I think. We've got a few things planned over the next few days, but we're going to an NBA game tonight. Oh, that would be cool. The Phoenix Suns? Yes.

Versus the? Orlando Magic. Oh, exciting. And we can see the arena from our hotel. It's like the block over, which is cool. Cool. Awesome. How hot is it in Phoenix, Arizona right now?

It's not that hot. It says 18 degrees. I just Googled it. We haven't been outside yet. All right. Well, enjoy your time. Enjoy your basketball match tonight. And, yeah, we'll have to catch up with you Monday

after the opening weekend of the Eras Tour. Taylor Swift, our winners. Definitely. Absolutely. Ella and Brooke, be safe. Enjoy. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Bye. All right, next on the show, it's RIP to a Kiwi legend. 90 years, apparently, this has been around. Has it? So as long as everybody listening, unless someone's over 90. If you're over 90 and you're listening to the show. Oh, good morning. Good morning.

It must be by accident. But that means everybody listening right now, this product has been with them since they were born. Yeah. And now it is gone. R.I.P. It's next. Miley Flowers ZM Play

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Another axe has been swung and this time it's the Irvine's pie that's gone. Irvine's a brand that has been manufacturing pies, and this time it's the Irvine's pie that's gone. Irvine's a brand that has been manufacturing pies here in Aotearoa for 90 years, apparently. 90? 90 years. And now the Irvine pie is going to go.

You've got your big pie. You've got your mince and cheese. You've got your premium selection, you know, creamy butter chicken. All those pies. You will no longer find them in your pie warmer. Because they'd be, they were normally the dairy staple, weren't they? Yes. Yeah, they were a dairy pie. They'd buy them in bulk, freeze them, and then just roll them out when needed.

Yeah. So when you own a dairy and you've got pies in the pie warmer, is there some sort of cooking before the pie warmer? There'd be a defrosting period? I don't know. Oh, apparently producer Jared knows. Who eats a pie every, most days he'll eat a pie

or a giant saucy. Yeah, big fan of pies. Now, from my experience, quite often these dairies have a microwave somewhere. Oh, yep. So the dairy owner will zap a whole bunch of them

and then just schlop them in. Yuck. That explains a lot when I've had a dairy owner. So they microwave the pie in the bag because the bag's always got some breathy holes. And then once it's microwaved, it goes in the pie warmer, which may crisp the pie. May crisp the pie. I say may. Yeah.

I think there's a certain point, like up to an hour and a half, for example, it's a soggy pie. But once you cross that threshold, it becomes a crisp pie. And then you've got a window before it becomes a rubbergy pie. But once you cross that threshold, it becomes a crisp pie. And then you've got a window before it becomes a rubbery pie. Yeah. A rubbery, hard-to-eat, chewy pie. Now, would you ever have these pies? Oh, yeah. Big time. So, how are you taking this news?

So, you and a lot of tradies will be quite upset today. It's been a hard week. How much was an Irvine's pie rocking at? Because you can get a bougie pie. I'm not getting up there now. Yeah, the bougie pies are up there. You're not going to see too much change from $10 for a bougie pie nowadays.

At my local dairy, I'm pretty sure they're like $3. That's good. That's not bad. Yeah, it's not bad. $22.03 for a pie. That's not bad. Do they do a combo with a V? No.

No, he doesn't. He doesn't. Okay. Right. combo with a V? No, no, he doesn't. He doesn't, okay. So they said, Goodman Fielder said, significant cost increases including fuel, energy, labour and raw ingredients is to blame

for the loss of the dairy and petrol station staple. Yes, I've had a friend's message in saying that the dairy they went to would put them in the warmer the night before.

Maybe from frozen and then by the time it was the morning, there'd be, but yeah, RIP to the bacon and egg. That's all gone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's the final rankings. We do this every Friday, final rankings. Yeah, this ranking came to me yesterday when I was at the trade desk about a 10.

Just, you know, waiting to bloody tally up all my bits and pieces and get out of there. I saw your wife's Instagram story. I want to talk more about this soon, actually. She was walking behind you and she said, oh, he thinks he's a tradie. Oh, cute. Well, tradie's just a mindset, babe.

That's what I said to her. Tradies get the ladies. Tradies get the ladies. Tradies get the ladies. Absolutely. Put on a pair of bloody steel cap boots and walk around like you own the place. Now, this came to me because I was at Mitre 10 and I looked to the left and there's the fridge full of energy drinks and coffees in a can and those real creamy coffees that I've

never had one, but I don't know if I will. And because I don't like the milk. And then snacks wise, it's peanut slabs. They always, why do they always have peanut slabs at the checkout? Because you grab it, you eat one and you chuck the other two in the glove box and then you find them later on and they've melted and then reset a few times and you're like, yum, I forgot about those. And then you eat them.

Yeah. And you can eat them with dirty hands. You just tear one end open and push it. Oh, yeah. Okay. Push it through. Perfect for the tradies. Perfect for the tradies. Perfect for the tradies.

And the tradies get the ladies. Now, so there's peanut slab, almond gold, coconut slab, and creamy milk slab. And it started with the Kiwi classic, the peanut slab, right? I believe peanut slab was the first cab out of the ranks. Yeah, and they're like, oh, these ones seem to go quite well. Great size in a slab, too. Just the perfect amount of chocolate. I don't know chocolate-wise how it compares to, like, oh, these ones seem to go quite well. Great size in a slab too. Just the perfect amount of chocolate. I don't know chocolate-wise how it compares to like a longer bar.

Like how much is in it compared to one of those skinny long bars. So we'll be ranking only peanut slabs. Only the slabs. The slabs. So almond gold, coconut slab, peanut slab and creamy milk, which is just a peanut slab without peanuts. It's for the allergic amongst us. I forgot about hokey pokey.

There's a hokey pokey slab. You missed it. Look. It was on the... It's hokey pokey. There's a hokey pokey slab. I can't see that on the official Whitaker's page. Here, Carween is nodding her head.

Producer Jared's got a picture. It's open in front of me. It's in the chat as well. Oh, it's in the chat. It's in the chat. Have a look. What? Yeah.

When? But when? I can't remember that. No, those are the little slabs. We're not counting mini slabs. We're not counting the mini slabs. The mini slabs are in the bag. We're talking tradie-sized slabs. Oh, no, it's slabs. The mini slabs are in the bag. We're talking tradie size slabs.

Oh no, it's there. Okay, okay. How is yours there? Look, I will show you. Look, that's the part of the website with the Hokey Pokey slab. It does exist.

I do apologise. But look. That website has it without it. Oh yeah, weird. Whitaker's conspiracy. Okay, now Hokey Pokey's in play.

That changes my ranking. Okay. Let's rank them. I am going to, this is controversial, but Peanut Slab is the last for me out of all of these. I would go Coconut Slab, Hokey Pokey, Almond Gold, Creamy Milk, Peanut Slab. That's your order from one to five. Okay, so we definitely agree Coconut is number one.

Yes. Number one, Slab. Just the right amount of coconut. You remember those little coconut. Coconut roughs. Oval roughs that you get in like mixtures. I never liked them. As a kid, I never liked, I never appreciated coconuts.

Oh, I loved them. I didn't like a bounty bar, but now I'm a growing man and my palate's matured. You love a bit of coconut. I love a little coconut in there. Okay. So I'll go coconut. Yep. Then I'd go hokey pokey.

So we agree on the top two. Oh, yeah. Okay. Easy. Then I'd go hokey pokey. So we agree on the top two. Oh yeah, okay. Easy. Third almond. Did you go third almond? Did you go fourth almond? No, I went third almond. Third almond. Yep. Then I'm gonna go peanut slab. Then I'm gonna go creamy. Okay. So we only differ with the last two. I'm getting it

for a reason, you know. Yeah. If I just wanted plain chocolate, I'd just get plain chocolate. But that was easy, wasn't it? That was easy you know. Yeah. If I just wanted plain chocolate, I'd just get plain chocolate. That was easy, wasn't it? That was easy. Agreed upon. Agreed upon. A pleasure doing business as you said.

I think Hayley would agree if she was here and not at Marching Nationals. Would she agree? We are right now. Let me look at these again. She'd be. Does she love a bit of coconut? I feel like she likes a bit of coconut. We can ask her next week.

We can come back to this for Friday rankings. We could revisit this next Friday for this next Friday Just lightly touch on it For a quick ranking from her Yeah And then But she wasn't here So she can't affect the final rankings No no no

It would just literally be to see If she agrees with us Which is Coconut Hokey pokey Almond Yes The top three

Good stuff Now I'm gonna need to eat Yeah dude A couple of those today Three pack Can they do a mixed pack? Or no You'd have to buy Three three packs Top three. Good stuff. Now I'm going to need to eat a couple of those today. Three-pack honey. Can they do a mixed pack? Or no, you'd have to buy three three-packs of each different one. Yeah, so three three-packs, and then you could make three mixed packs.

Doable. And then you've got nine chocolate bars. Or do you? They're gone. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We had a delivery of some, what is it, chocolate milk? Raspberry milk.

Yeah, there's a new flavour. There's a new flavour of Lewis Road milk. What is it, some, what is it, chocolate milk? Raspberry milk. Yeah, there's a new flavour. There's a new flavour of Lewis Road milk. What is it, Jared? What is it? What flavour? What are we talking here? Jared's got a bottle. Make that milk into a cheese and I'll eat it,

but I'm not going to drink it in liquid form. It is chocolate and raspberry milk. You'd want a chocolate and raspberry cheese. Oh, my God, yum. Yeah. What did you just say? Yes, I think I do. Or a mousse.

That would be good as a mousse. Could you make that into a mousse? No, because the flavour always comes from the... No one wanted me to use it in my porridge this morning. Yeah, why not? It tastes like, you know, those soft raspberry jubes covered in chocolate. Oh, my God, I love those. That's what it tastes like.

But it's milk and we're adults. Stop being boring. Yeah, it doesn't stop people buying this milk and we're adults. But it's not being boring. Yeah, it doesn't stop people buying this. Well, there's a new flavour. Stop being farty. Anyway, it wasn't... We don't want to talk about that, but Chatelette Pyjamas said she wasn't ready

to forgive Lewis Road Creamery yet and then proceeded to show us a video of the time that she left her own fault. This is no reflection on Lewis Road. She left a chocolate milk out and it got warm. On the bench. And then it exploded. And when it exploded because of the shape of the bottle,

it shot up and it hit the roof. And she said she's not ready to laugh about it yet. And then I said that's like my mum who made tomato sauce one year because she had an abundance of tomatoes. Are you going to mention this? I feel like enough is enough. Because remember at the time she said, I do not want this talked about

on the radio. She was livid. Yeah. Mostly embarrassed, but also just everything about the situation upset her. But I feel like enough time's passed.

It's time to out Al-Qaeda Christine. She didn't like you saying that about her either. And her homemade explosives. Because she made this tomato sauce and then like put it in the, she had some out on the sauce and then like put it in there she had some out on the bench and she should put some in the pantry where she keeps her preserves

and they all exploded they blew the lid off and tomato sauce whenever it ruined the ceiling at like they had to get they had to take the ceiling off there's like these tomato sauce bombs and for ages she didn't want and my dad a chutney? My dad was even like. Was it a chutney? It was just a homemade sauce. Oh. And can that explode? Well, I don't know what caused it to explode, but they all exploded.

Like all of them. Once one got set off, the next one got set off. Wow. And for ages, even now talking about it. Because it's been a few years. It's been a few years. I remember dad saying, we're still not joking about the tomato sauce. Yeah. And it put her off making tomato sauce for a couple of years.

Is she back into it? I think she's back into the sauce making now. Okay. But she's still not ready to laugh about it. She'll be storing those in a cool place though. She will be. Yeah. She's still not ready to laugh about it.

And that got me thinking about, what are you not, you aren't ready to laugh about, or you know someone that's not ready to laugh about something that was funny. But you know what they say is that, well, Shakespeare, comedy is tragedy plus time. Yeah. Everything eventually becomes funny. I love when someone says, when you're having that moment and someone says, we'll laugh about this one day. We'll look back and laugh. And you're like, we will not. Will we? I don't

know if we will. So what are you not ready to laugh about? Or what, you know, what if you've got a friend, something happened to them and they're not ready to laugh about it? If someone isn't ready to laugh about it, I don't know if they're going to be ready to share a story about it. Because then we'll laugh about it, but they won't be laughing. Yeah. But maybe now you're ready to laugh about it.

Are you ready to laugh? Maybe today could be the day. Go into the weekend with a weight off your shoulders. Yes. Get it off your shoulders. I think a lot of people will have to dom on their friends. Yeah. What are you not ready to laugh about?

Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. We want to know this morning what you're not ready to laugh about. Everybody's got something in their life that everybody else finds amusing. Tell them the story about that and you're like, I don't want to. And then your friend tells them the story in front of you and then everybody's laughing except you and the stories about you. Yeah.

Maybe it's time now to finally laugh about it. Yeah. Somebody messaged in, I don't want to talk about it. I'm not ready to laugh about it, but I failed my scooter license in Rarotonga. Famously. Oh, my God. How does anybody fail the Rarotongan? I think I've seen people fall off and just out of pity, they got the license.

Yeah, they give it to them. Yeah. You literally have to, is it still you just drive around the block and around a couple of cones and they just give it to you? Yeah, you follow. God, they make some money out of that. I'd love to know how much they make dishing out. It'll be more now, but it used to be 20 bucks a person. And everybody kind of got one.

Little admin. And then can you come back here and drive actual motorbikes? No. Oh. No, no, no. I was going to say that would be a glaring loophole. It's like going to Rambo's Inn and getting the driver's license to drive their little cars. And then coming out and be like, well, I assume now I'm four.

I'm allowed to drive on the open road. No, you're not allowed to drive motorbikes when you get back, no. Let's take some calls. Ava, what are you still not ready to laugh about? I remember at my high school ball probably, what, five years ago now, and I walked out of the bathroom with a toilet paper stuck to my heel and I went to go and talk to my crush. Oh, your crush.

You went to go talk to your crush. My crush your crush. You went to go talk to your crush. My crush, yeah. I had the biggest crush on this boy. Yeah. And I walked out of the bathroom all confident with toilet paper, you know, stuck to my head. Oh. If, Ava, if he couldn't see past a little bit of TP

stuck to the bottom of your shoe, then he wasn't worth your time. You're better than that. That is so true. I mean, look, we're not together now, so maybe it wasn't meant to be, right? It wasn't worth your time. You're better than that. That is so true. I mean, look, we're not together now, so maybe it wasn't meant to be, right? It wasn't meant to be. But so you still don't find that story funny?

I mean, it was so embarrassing. It was a low moment. If that's the most embarrassing moment you left high school with, you did pretty good. That's pretty good, yeah. Oh, what? What? No, there was more? Oh, I'm just saying, I don't know.

I feel like there could be a few, but there would have been some alcohol involved, so I can't say I recall them. Wow. I didn't drink until I was of legal age, so I've got no idea what you're talking about. Ava, thank you. Let's go to Anonymous. Anonymous, what are you still not ready to laugh about? Hi.

First of all, first time caller, long time listener. Oh, the bell. Grab the bell. Yes. Welcome to the show, Anonymous. Welcome. Thank you.

My one, yeah, I'm still not ready to talk about that one. I went to Bali a couple of years ago now. Funny, Hayley was here. She could talk about how great Bali is to her. She loves Bali. She's been once. She's not wrong. It's great Bali is to her. She loves Bali. She's been once. She's not wrong. It's great.

It's beautiful. I was so busy. You know how when you travel, you have to be within six months for when you leave the country? So I was so busy counting out the months on my passport, I had to look at the year, which had expired a whole year prior. You were like, oh, but it's fine.

It's November. That's within six months. Yeah, I was like, no, okay, it's six months from when I leave, but not from when I came back, got my travel agent, flatmate to look at it. It was all fine. Got to the airport. Basically, burst into tears, had this very dramatic moment. We rushed, got an emergency passport, came back,

but I was so not ready to talk about it when I got back from Bali. I changed the conversation into how I got food poisoning and shat on the beach instead. So you were hurt, right? You're not ready to talk about the fact that you made a simple mistake of overlooking one digit on your passport, but you are willing to talk about the fact that you made a simple mistake of overlooking one digit on your passport, but you are willing to talk about the fact that you got food poisoning and pooed all over the beach.

Yeah, yeah. Not all over the beach. It was contained. But that felt more accepting because it was, like, out of my control. Right. And the passport was totally in my control. Right. Your mistake versus nature's mistake.

Yeah. The great first-time caller. Thank you, An mistake versus nature's mistake. Yeah. The great first time caller. Thank you, Anonymous. Let's go to Harriet. What are you still not ready to laugh about? So it's actually my sister. So I'm only safe telling this story because she's in the UK and it's been six years. Okay, good.

But she's still not ready to laugh about the fact that her sister-in-law stole her thunder during her wedding ceremony. What did she do? So she's known for making a scene and her daughter was one of the flower girls. She was a bit sick that day. They had a bit of food poisoning or something. And in the middle of the ceremony, her daughter was turning a bit yellow and so she needed to take her out. Instead of just quietly taking her out, she grabbed her and ran her like a pole driver and she ran into

the nearest flower border and she was screaming at this point and then she tripped, so that was bad enough, but then she tripped and she whacked her head on the wall which had a hook in it and so now there's a girl being sick on the floor, there's the mum with her head bleeding, so they had to stop the ceremony

and they said to my sister's husband, they said, what do you want to do? Should we stop? Should we carry on? He was like, she'll be fine. Just carry on. Wow. And so she's still not ready to start with that. She ruined her big day. They ruined her big day.

Yeah. Thank you, Harriet. Some text messages to finish off. Our dog went into a friend's luggage When they were staying Came into the lounge with a vibrato In his mouth The same texture as one of his favourite dog toys Very pleased with himself

Popped it in the middle of the conversation Expecting us to throw it for him And we're still not ready to laugh about that They're not ready to laugh about that I'm not ready to laugh about that I I'm not ready to laugh about that. I was making chocolate brownies with my electric mixer and usually I have my hair up in a bun and that day I did it and my hair got sucked into the mixer part and I hit my head on the electric mixer

and I had to manually unwind all my hair out of the chocolate mix and I don't want to talk about it and it's not funny. That's like you didn't get scalped. Trina, what are you... Scalped by a breville. Yes. Trina, what are you... Scalped by a breville. Yes. Trina, what are you not ready to laugh about? Well, I had a particularly bad bout of gastro,

and we had some baby chickens in a metal chicken run next to an electric fence. One of the baby chickens died, and my husband and kids wouldn't pick it up, so I had to lean over into the chicken run to get the baby chicken out and my foot touched the electric fence and I shat my pants.

I knew I thought the smell of the chicken was going to get you going to vomit. To be honest, I was expecting the other end. You've got to show that she's not laughing. I am so sorry for laughing, but that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Trina,

how long ago did that happen? I was 45. Right, okay. So a grown woman shitting her pants. So you're still not ready to laugh about it? I'm so sorry for laughing. If you came however with somebody else, you would be laughing.

If my husband had done it, for sure it you would be laughing. Oh, for sure. If my husband had done it, for sure it would have been funny. Yes. Does he dare tell this story, if you're like in a group of friends, would he dare tell them in front of you? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's been told.

Yeah. Wow, he's a brave man. He's a brave man. Trina, thank you. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about an honesty study that was conducted around the world.

Okay. Involving dropped wallets. Oh, okay. Do you think what wallets got returned, reported, and reported in as lost property more? The ones that didn't have money in them. The ones that didn't have money or the ones that had money? The ones that have, like mine, that have an air tag in them? Well, this was conducted in 2019

pre-air tag. Okay. But yeah, air tag. Air tag, you'd probably just leave it there. What is the criteria? So, there was different, every one of them contained some amount of money, a key, a shopping list and some business cards. Ooh. What business?

Because if it was like... It was the person's business card. Ooh. What business? Because if it was like... It was the person's business card. Okay. And they did this around the world. They did 17,000 wallets. All around the world? Yeah, all around the world. Wow, fascinating.

All different countries with varying amounts of money in it. But the example generally had a shopping list in the local language, a local currency, a key, and some business cards. And then the thing that changed was the amount of money in there.

If there was a small amount of money, it was handed in because they were like, well, they don't have much. Whereas if there was lots, it'd be like, ah, they're not going to miss this. Absolutely incorrect. The more amount of money got reported more often because people felt once the amount started getting up there, it felt more like stealing rather than a convenient find. The people that did the study said that they kind of settled upon the fact, they settled for a few reasons.

People return to feel better about themselves. They care about strangers, which, I mean, this was in 2019. Maybe we did, but maybe we don't anymore. But secondly, they said that, yeah, the more money that was in the wallet, the more people would feel like they were stealing if they didn't return the wallet. But the thing that got the wallet returned the most, because

then they tried some without the different things. The minute the key wasn't in there, the numbers dropped dramatically. Because people know how inconvenient that is. different things. Yeah. The minute the key wasn't in there. Oh yeah. The numbers dropped dramatically. Because people know how inconvenient that is. Bingo. So you should put an old key in your wallet.

If you put a key in your wallet, it would be more likely to be returned. Wow. I mean, completely depending on who's, but this was over 17,000 wallets. They said these were the overwhelming trends that they saw. Right. The minute it had a key in it,

people were like, oh shit, everyone's been locked out. Yeah, you know how bad it sucks. You have to get your locks changed. If it's $13, yeah,

they've lost $13. Would you? I don't know if there's a key in there. If there was a key in there and $30, would you take the $30, just leave the rest, hand it in? I don't know where the money went.

It's not me. Definitely not me. If it was like two fives, a ten, hand it in. But I don't know where the money went. It's not me. Definitely not me. If it was like two fives, a 10, and another 10, I'd take a five. The thing that stops me taking like if I saw a five or a 10 or a wallet with money, the thing that stops me the most isn't what's in the wallet. It's the fact that I'm probably on some hidden camera show. It's a YouTube prankster. It's a YouTube prankster.

And I'm going to be on TikTok stealing 20 bucks. And then you're going to have to explain yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why you picked it up, took thester, and I'm going to be on TikTok stealing 20 bucks. And then you're going to have to explain yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why you picked it up, took the money out, and put the wallet back down on the ground. I mean, unless I was literally in the middle of nowhere, I wouldn't take it. Or say, pick it up and take it in,

because this is another thing they checked. A way they did it was the actor would take it into, say, a hotel. Oh, okay. And say, I found this just outside. Yeah. And they'd say, oh, okay, I'd put it here and if anybody calls for it. But if it had more money and a key in it, that'd actually contact the person on the business card. Oh, okay.

Yeah. To say, hey, your wallet's been handed in. Because it was like three of the same business card. I'm kidding. It was that person's business card. Right. Yeah. And it made no difference regardless of like how wealthy the countries were.

Oh, okay. It stayed the same. That's so the countries were. Oh, okay. That's so fascinating. Yeah, overall the same. I wonder if that's changed now that we're in a cost of living crisis and a recession. You're going to take a couple of broccolis out of there, aren't you? Take a couple of broccolis worth out of the wallet. So today's fact of the day is that if you want your wallet to be

returned, bit of money and a key. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Yesterday, I was hurried. I was hurried whilst shopping. Granted, it was a Mitre 10. It wasn't like a shopping shopping bag. Would you do love a dawdle around a hardware store? I do.

There's no better place to dawdle than a hardware store to see what things you want. There's always great stuff, isn't there? Oh, my gosh. You know, I saw yesterday some tin snips. Now, I don't have a pair of tin snips. I had a pair of tin snips. Do you need a pair of tin snips?

Well, last time I got corrugated iron, they said don't cut this with an angle grinder blade. Cut it with tin snips. I wish I'd asked why. Because it'll... It'll corrode, but why would it be different with tin snips? I don't know. Anyway.

Probably lose an eye. They're probably worried about your safety. Remind me to Google that. So we were at Mitre 10. Sade and I were at Mitre 10. And first of all, I backed a trailer. And someone said, you backed that brilliantly. And I was like, did you hear that, bud? She just like, hurry up.

Yeah. And then I said, I'll teach you how to grade wood. I said it to her in a condescending manner. And she said, I don't need to know how to grade wood. What does that mean, picking a nice bit of wood? It's just ridiculous. When you get out and you hold the wood up.

I always remember my dad doing it as a kid, but he knew what he was doing because he was a builder. Before he was a farmer and he'd pick it up and he'd hold a bit of wood, see how straight it is and then check for knots and stuff

and weak points and then be like, nah, nah, nah, not that bit. And then get an expert. So then we fidgeted through a whole lot of bits of wood and I found some the wood I wanted

and then she's like how long are you gonna be and I said this is very rich granted I haven't been dragged to a mall for a long time

or she knows just to leave you behind yeah because then she can also spend all the money she can spend more money leave me at home and then she gets home and she runs up to She can spend more money. Leave me at home.

And then she gets home and she runs up to the bedroom and puts it in the cupboard and then says, this old thing, I've had it for months. She didn't have that old thing. You're like, I know the latest Anine Bing range. I am very aware of Anine Bing range now. Because you've signed up to that. And all men should be. You've signed up to the emails for the new seasons. It's expensive junk that won't last and it's rubbish

and you should be aware of it entering your house. So I said if someone was keeping a collective score of how many minutes you've kept me waiting while shopping versus how many minutes I've kept you, it would be wildly out of whack. So you just hush. You've definitely got some minutes in the deficit. Yeah, definitely.

And then she was trying to hurry me, and then we went to another part of the store and ran into Dave, who owns. And I was like, G'day, Dave. And she's like, Oh, you've got to be kidding me. And then the best part was just after we talked, she's like, He didn't want to stop and talk to you. You were telling me that if she ran into a mean bing,

she wouldn't stop for a bloody year. She wouldn't stop and say, Hello, a mean bing. And then we're walking past, and she's like, You don't need to talk and know everybody in here. I said, It's my local. And then I was walking, and then a guy's like, G'day, everyone. And then we're walking past and she's like, you don't need to talk and know everybody in here. I said, it's my local. And then I was walking and then a guy's like, G'day everyone, how are you? And it was the perfect timing just after she had said,

you don't need to know everybody in here. Another guy that worked there was like, G'day everyone, how are you? I was like, yeah, good, mate, how are you? And they carried on and she's like, this is getting ridiculous. Well, she could have waited in the car. But then she did sit in the car for a bit

and then I kept getting a message being like, question mark? Like I was a missing person. So anyway, I got her a peanut slab. I checked her a peanut slab. Right, there you go. You should have got the peanut slab first, like a three pack,

gone back out to the car. Like she's a child. Yeah, and then that would have kept you. No, because if you give them the reward too early, they'll start misbehaving again. You've got to give them a reward at the end when the thing's finished. But yeah, I just couldn't believe this.

Hurried eating business. And then I get in the car later on and I see she's put a thing on her Instagram saying he's cute, he thinks he's a tradie. Very rude. Very rude. Tradie's a state of mind, babe. Tradie's a state of mind.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Next on the show, two things. Two things. We're going to end the show on an absolute low. I thought we were trying to end it on an absolute high. But. New Zealand has made it number two on the list. Out of every country in the world.

That's good. It's good to be on the list. It's good to be number two. It's not a good list. Not a good list. And then we will finish the show with a sound recording of Shannon's Chandelier Pyjamas at last night's One Republic concert with an apology for everybody there, all 7,000 people.

And then the however many more are listening to the show now will be issued a formal apology. So she'll have to re-apologise. A formal apology. A formal apology. So you're, like I say,-apologise. A formal apology. A formal apology. So, like I say, ending the show on a bit of a downer because this list isn't good and this audio also not good. Even worse.

We may have to end on a high. Anything we can end on a high with. I'll find a high to end on. Okay. Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. Well, New Zealand has made it to number two on a list, a worldwide list, and it's not good news.

This on the very same week, you may have seen this. It's been big on Twitter, and it's been doing the rounds on social media. People linking to a BBC news article where they said the mental health crisis from the COVID pandemic was minimal. A study said this. Dude, have you seen the memes about this?

Oh my god. I loved it. Like everybody's saying if it was minimal, how come dot dot dot. I married my fridge. Yeah. I had a birthday party for my dishwasher. The birthday party for the dishwasher was a favourite. They had a birthday party for the dishwasher. I killed all my sims. Like people just listing and showing photos of just the crazy things they were doing during

lockdown. Yeah. Which is weird right? Like minimal, surely not. Well, a study has been released, this online, naming New Zealand as the second most anxious country in the whole world with an anxiety rate of 8.04, the highest country in the study, Portugal, with a percentage of anxious people at 8.04, the highest country in the study, Portugal with an anxious, uh, percent of percentage of anxious people at 8.79. So we're very high. So as a base, um, this study says that the, um,

average prevalence of anxiety around the world is 3.94. Okay. There are 120 countries around the world with anxiety rates higher than that. And it's weird because it's not countries like it's a real mix like it goes Portugal, number one, New Zealand, Brazil, Iran, which is a lot to be anxious

about, especially if you're a woman right now. Ireland at four fourth equals Switzerland, Netherlands, Norway, Northern Ireland, Cyprus, France, Malta, Germany, Paraguay, Austria, and the list goes on. What is the exact definition of anxious? It's nervous.

Hold on. Feeling or showing worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Very eager or concerned to do something or for something to happen. Oh, so that's like the two adjective. Anxiety is an issue as intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating,

and feeling tired may occur. Yeah. That happens to me when I'm at the gym. So is that, am I anxious when I'm on the treadmill? Or am I exercising? So a 25% global increase in anxiety and depression was reported during the pandemic. Despite that, the fact we've had all the memes this week.

And they said it was minimal. And they said it was minimal. I would consider 25% quite the increase. But I wonder if that's because we had a lot more lockdowns and people, I also wonder if Portugal's number one because they decriminalize drugs. You know, and that can be. People can feel like that afterwards.

But we've also got a higher alcohol rate as well, like a lot of countries. Well, some people do. Yeah, they medicate their worry with booze, but booze wears off and can add to the worry and you only end up feeling worse. Who's the bottom? Who's the least anxious? Uzbekistan. Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan.

All the stars. Mongolia, Vietnam, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Japan is at number 200. So many stars. Yeah. Although I feel like it's probably not a thing in a lot of those countries. You'd just be like, we're too busy surviving to be worried. But yeah, it's quite fascinating. But yeah, not good news.

Because in lockdowns, when you had the time to sit and overthink situations, you could get yourself quite worried and worked up about things. And we were just surrounded by bad news. We were online more than ever. We were taking all that news on board. And a lot of that hasn't changed. We're still online too much. Yeah. Where, you know, the news isn't good.

We're all doom scrolling. Anyway, let's go to Shannon for the second point now. It's going to say, ending the show on a low. Would chocolate fix this? But then you said Switzerland. Famous for its chocolate. They were right up there. No, they were at the top.

Were they? You told me that. I'm sure they were top ten. Yeah, six. Okay, so chocolate doesn't fix that. Chocolate doesn't do it. Yeah, goodness. I thought hot people would have fixed that, but Portugal. Well, look, I did prepare everybody by saying we're ending the show on a downer because we go... But I thought this was the downer. Yeah, but this is

also a downer. Why are you double downing? No, you're going to have to up us at the end. I said you've got to find some good news. Well, now I'm anxious about how much I'm going to have to up. Right, because we go to Shannon at the social media. There's Shannon Let Pajamas, as we affectionately call her, at the One Direction concert last night. One Direction?

Oh, no, sorry. What is this? One Republic. One Republic. One is a direction, one is a republic. But you did go to Harry Styles the other week and you were worse for wear after that. Yeah.

Followed second by this concert. Yeah, different kinds of worse for wear. More of a voice though. Yeah. No, I'm good. Would you like now to apologise to the 7,000 people that were at that concert last night? I was a menace.

Would we call this a menace? Oh, it was so screechy. I couldn't make out the song, but just by the end of it, I could. It took me a very long time to work out what song it was. So if you heard that last night at One Republic. Yes. You would have seen me. I was covered in glitter and had a rosé in hand. I'm pretty sure

you're describing 90% of the 60-year-old woman that were at One Republic. Yeah, we made some friends. Glitter and a rosé. Yeah, right. And now you have to apologise to the listeners for that too. Yeah. Sorry about that. It wasn't my best work. Yeah, sorry.

We try to be better. We try. Now, see what I mean? We've ended the show on a downer with that and the stats. Finland are looking for 10 people to attend a free masterclass of happiness to find their inner Finn at a beautiful resort. That's kind of good news. It looks really cool.

It looks like a cool resort. But 10 people, I mean, the chances of getting there are next to none. See, that's a downer. Now I'm never going to win that. Studies link marijuana legalisation to all sorts of positive health outcomes. But I don't do that. You don't do that. Yeah, that's not good news for me.

A firefighter lured a trapped dog off the ice using treats and then carried him up a 10-foot wall. Oh, that's uplifting. That's uplifting. Refugee reunited with beloved dog after a year apart since fleeing Afghanistan. And it remembered him? Yeah. It's one of those soldier coming home videos.

Yeah. Dog remembers the soldier. Those always make me like they're happy, but they made me sad that somebody had to go to war in the first place. A cat and a rabbit team up to co-parent their litters. Sort of a mix. Sort of a. That's uplifting.

A Brady bunch. Yeah. Of eventually though the cats will want to eat the rabbits. A Brady Bunch. Yeah. Of eventually though, the cats will want to eat the rabbits. So that's not... Yeah, that's not going to end well, is it? I think we've ended on a high.

Yep. We ended on a high. Is that good enough? I mean, it's good enough for me, but I'm also going home now. So there's light at the end of the tunnel, you know?

Yeah, let's go home. Okay, let's go. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You know what? I reckon your script reading is getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars.

Thank you. Just like I give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast. Thank you, Vaughan and Hayley, for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.