ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 18th March 2022
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The ZM Podcast Network.
Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.
Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast.
It's thanks to McCafe.
Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's.
Now today is Anna and Karwin have become the social committee for ZM.
Yeah.
And they have organised their
first mingle.
This is the March mingle. Yeah, Carween,
pop on. I was going to say pop on, love.
Carween, we're going to get a pop on, love.
Pop off, hon.
So tell us, you've organised this March mingle.
What are we doing? We're going bowling.
Not bowling.
As in like lawn bowls.
Bowls.
I'm gutted I can't make it because I love bowling and you've got free lawn. I reckon you'll be fine.
Fletch has gone.
Just to bop along.
No, just come out.
No, I'm only joking.
You should absolutely isolate.
Oh, yeah, seven days I'm locked inside.
But you've managed to secure a lot of free long whites, the alcoholic beverage.
We sure have, and I've heard that they're your favourite.
Oh, I like the raspberry.
I just love anything raspberry.
Maybe we can just pop some off.
Your basic ads.
Maybe we can just pop some off at your apartment.
Yeah, that'll be good.
In the mailbox.
And maybe a bowls set.
You can bowl in your apartment.
Yeah, one of those really cheap ones that's like brightly coloured.
Yeah, I do have a long hallway.
That could work.
So, you're not coming, Fletch, obviously.
Vaughan, you're not coming because you hate people. Yeah, he sucks.
That's correct. No, I don't hate
them. I just have absolutely no interest
in them. Right.
No, I made plans before the March Mingle
had a date. I'm giving a lathe lesson today.
Yeah, right.
I'm going to be taught how to finesse my craft.
Look, you've got your big paper grinder
right there. You can see that whilst I have an absolute natural flair for the lathe,
I do need to work on my final.
What was that?
The cat's clawing the bottom of the bed, the bed base.
A little cat, a little clap to get off there.
And then we just found out that drive can't come because you've put it on
during drive hours.
Here's the thing.
The lovely lady at the bowl place.
Club.
Bowls club.
Bowls club, yes, yeah.
Recommended that the original time, which would have included you guys,
was too late.
It was going to get too dark by the time we started playing the game.
It's a long game. No lights.
Yeah.
No lights.
Okay.
It also seems like with dwindling numbers this was just
a huge ploy to have a garage full of long whites yeah i think so too because i can only stay for a
couple because my mum's coming to town i can't comment on that but your mum can absolutely pack
it away yeah well i've already asked if patsy can come or not and then everyone sort of thought
that was a bit weird no i said yes and yes. And she's the social committee organiser.
She organises the March Mingle.
Get all sloppy patsy out onto the field.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She has to crank a couple of long whites.
Whoa.
So I'm going for a little bit.
As numbers fade, how many people are actually going?
Is it just going to be you, Anna, Jared and me for a few hours?
Yeah, why is that?
You make it sound like it's a bad thing.
That would actually bring Vaughn back in, I reckon.
With a smaller group of people.
They're smaller groups, more manageable.
No, the office is all coming along.
Right.
It's just you guys that don't actually be there.
Again, I've got my lathing.
You're all next mingle.
Are you going to be making us something to make up for it?
Yep, I'll make you a pepper grinder.
Well, you're about to hear about the pepper grinder.
I don't know if that's a good idea.
Vaughan made me a pepper grinder and it's very, it just can hold a lot of corns.
So much corns.
Hello, good morning.
Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.
Happy Friday morning.
Yes, how are you feeling this morning, Fletch, from your comfort of your home?
Well, you can probably tell by my voice it's a little gravelly.
Yes.
It's a little gravelly, but yeah, how are you feeling? What is this, day two?
Day three.
No.
Is it? No, two.
Day two and a half.
Zero's when you first test positive.
Yeah, so yesterday was one, today's day two.
Yeah.
How do you feel? Do you feel like it's gotten worse?
Snotty and just like coldy, but not, yeah, a touch wood, nothing too bad.
Hey, thank God for the vaccine, eh?
Oh God, I've had three of them.
Yeah, I'd have one every two weeks.
That's what science told me was going to work.
Yeah.
Well, coming up on the show, we've got the top six soon.
Yep.
Do you remember what that is?
Yeah.
Christchurch City Council have missed the mark somewhat.
They've painted a basketball court what I would call traditionally feminine colours.
You mean pink and purple?
Mm-hmm.
And people are like, oh, this is interesting.
Why have you done this?
And they said, well, we want more girls to play.
And everyone's like, interesting.
It's 2022.
That's interesting.
That's an interesting take.
So I've got the top six ways to actually get more girls down to the basketball court.
I can't wait to play these.
Well, I'm an ally.
Also coming up on the show, we've got a chance for you to win.
We're going to brush off the acting skills.
Yes, and I do want to remind everyone
that I have a $40,000 degree in acting.
An actual acting degree.
Yeah.
So we're going to do this just before seven.
So we're going to act out a film
and it's your chance to win $250 cash
and a 12-month Neon subscription,
all thanks to our mates at Neon,
and also bringing us the $100,000 secret sound.
We had a $100,000 Thursday yesterday.
It didn't go, so we're back to 50, I'm presuming.
I mean, I wouldn't, don't look 50, you know, in the mouth.
50 would be absolutely fine.
Oh, it'd be lovely, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Next on the show.
Well, you can see it in my hands right now, can't you, Fletch?
I can.
It's something else.
Our friend Vaughn got a lathe.
Yeah.
And the first thing he made was actually a personalised gift for me.
I'll tell you what it is next.
Are you sure you want to?
I'm going to do my absolute best to describe it, Fletch.
What kind of lozenges are you hooning?
We've got some manuka.
Manuka?
We've got some manukas.
The Convita ones?
Yeah, I don't know, actually.
Tell me, where's your box?
It's in the kitchen.
Did you have, before you got COVID,
did you have a little, the COVID kit ready?
Yeah, I'm all stocked up.
Do you know what I got?
I got that thing that sprays up your nose.
Up your nose?
What thing?
You put it right up and you squeeze it
and it clears out all the gum.
Oh, my God, it's amazing.
Yeah, but that's, you know, no, it's not fluxinase.
It's, you've got to be careful with that stuff.
I love it.
Don't do more.
They say don't do more than three days in a row.
Remember winter 07, I was huffing that stuff and it melted my sinuses.
I just went all winter on it.
Burnt a hole through your skin.
No, I think it's just like a saline spray.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a weakling's version.
It's a baby's version.
Yeah, toughen up.
Man up.
Yeah, you puss.
Hey, so as we all know, Vaughn recently turned 40.
And your sort of close group of friends bought you a big gift.
Yeah.
A lathe.
My very close friends chipped in and bought me a lathe.
Because they know I'm getting more into my crafts.
Of course.
To the layman listening, what is a lathe?
A lathe is you put a piece of wood in this machine
and it spins it very rapidly.
And then with a very sharp chisel,
you slowly turn that thing into a cylindrical item of some sort.
Can I interrupt?
Are you calling it a lathe or a lathe-y?
I say lathe.
Hayley's really hitting it with the lathe. I just call it a lathe. It's a lathe or a lathe? She, Hayley. I said lathe. Hayley's really hitting it with the lathe.
I just call it a lathe, but I feel like.
It's a lathe, isn't it?
I'm going to stick with lathe.
Right.
Because of the T-H-E.
But you surely at your private school upbringing,
you got to go on the lathe.
At an all girls private school,
we did not learn about woodwork.
Did you not even have a woodwork?
And manual labour.
No, we did that at primary school. We did
cooking and sewing. That's...
Because they wanted us to be scientists, but also
run a good house.
World leaders who know
how to chuck on a quiche.
Well, we...
And darn your husband's socks.
When your in-laws are popping round, you've got to have a quiche in the oven.
That's a quick option. And also be able
to talk about politics and science.
Yes, of course.
But of course,
never talk over your husband
and his political opinions,
which of course
rule the household.
I wouldn't dare.
I'd get in so much trouble.
So anyway,
we are of course joking.
Anyway,
I did ask you,
what are you going to make
with this lathe?
And you were like,
legs and stuff,
like legs for furniture
and crafty things.
So many things, so many round items. I'm making a baseball bat for each of my daughters were like, legs and stuff. Like legs for furniture and... So many things.
So many round items.
Crafty things.
I'm making a baseball bat for each of my daughters.
Oh, that's fun.
It's sort of a smaller, sort of like a one-handed situation.
Like a police clobbering bat.
Yeah, right.
A baton.
Yeah.
Well, Indy's 10 now and it's important she learns
that she can crack skulls.
She can crack skulls.
But the first thing you made, you wanted to have a go
and you thought you would make me a gift.
Yeah, well you're always talking about
pepper and how much you love cracked pepper.
Yeah, I talk about it all the time.
It's not 100% done
yet, but I've made you a pepper grinder.
So I will say, I see the grinder bit
sort of at the... It's sort of a bulbous top
to it on a long... And because
you're always more and more
if we go out for a meal and they say when, you're like,
keep going, keep going. So I've made the
I don't know how else to describe it,
the shaft of the peppercorn grinder long
and also girthy so that many
peppercorns can fit inside. I can't wrap my hand
around it. I'll say that much.
There's nowhere for the peppercorns to go.
It's not hollow. He hasn't put in the mechanism
so at the moment it's more just
sort of the shape of the thing.
Yeah, so I need to lop the top off,
and then I need to get another point for the lathe
called a four-point jack, which holds it,
which means you can carve out the inside.
Now, I did say, Vaughan, when you gave this to me,
he actually presented it to me on Have You Been Paying Attention,
which is on tonight,
and you'll be able to see it in the flesh there.
I won't say flesh because that's sort of a bit on the nose.
But when you gave it to me, I did say I was a bit worried about splinters.
Yeah, well, it's remu.
It is remu.
It's native.
It's beautiful.
Native timber here.
Yeah, wow.
But it's so smooth.
It's very, very smooth.
I got down to a 240 grit sandpaper on that one.
I'm just, I don't have any 400
grit wet and dry.
But just keep it well oiled and
it should serve you right for years to come.
Yeah, I will say there's a little crack in the bottom
and that wasn't me. Well, if you get right down to that crack
I'd be...
I do believe...
Are we brave enough, Carween, to put a
photo of this on our FVH Instagram?
FVHZM, you'll be able to see me and my brand new
Pepper Grinder.
Pepper Grinder.
Fletch, do you want a Pepper Grinder?
I'm good, I'm good.
I'm a little smaller than that.
He's too scared.
Yeah.
I thought you actually had a whole drawer of Pepper Grinders, Hayley.
Yeah, I love pepper.
You've got an absolute...
You've got those auto shakers too, right?
You just...
Yeah, you push the button.
It's like...
Yeah, yeah, it shakes itself.
You don't even have to do any of the work yourself.
It's all electronic.
It's great.
It's so perfect.
Okay, well, check out that photo.
We'll put that up.
Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.
Well, Netflix, this was rumoured.
I think we talked about this last year.
I think it kind of pops up every now and again that Netflix are like,
don't share your password.
Yes, and we're always like, empty threats.
Yeah, empty threats.
Well, no, they are about to roll out some tests in Chile, Costa Rica and Peru.
What are they doing?
Where they will charge people extra money
if somebody is logging onto Netflix outside their household.
So will they do this via IP address?
Well, yeah, I guess it'll be...
But I want to watch this on my phone.
Yeah, what about at the gym?
I use all the different streaming services to watch,
and that would be a different IP address, wouldn't it?
Or like when you go away to an Airbnb
and you log into your login
on their TV. Maybe you have to register
your device
and maybe you get
X amount of devices
but then you'd still be able to... I can't wait
till this happens here and I can cut my
father-in-law off.
No more for you because every time I say
to shut up, I'm like, oh god
he's watched something on our profile. No he doesn't, he's got his own up, I'm like, oh, God, he's watched something on our, you know, profile.
No, he doesn't.
He's got his own profile.
I'm like, he forgets his own profile.
Oh, that would be the worst if somebody's messing up your profile.
No, it's not.
He watches episodes of What We Want to Watch.
He just watches so much shit that Netflix is like, hey,
do you want to watch another movie about a giant crocodile that fights
an ancient Egyptian mummy on the battleground of Mars.
Like, no, I don't.
I didn't want to watch the first one.
So price-wise, I don't know the translation of Chilean pesos,
but they are in Costa Rica putting the price at $2.99 US.
Oh, wow. So that would be about $5. So how are they going to.99 US. Oh. Oh, wow.
So that would be about $5.
So how are they going to...
A login?
Yeah, per, yeah, what?
Yeah, I don't know.
It just says that they're running this test
to crack down on password sharing, but...
It's going to take a long time to work it out.
I'm the password holder.
I'll admit it here and now.
I pay for...
But you can pay...
You do add devices hey you can go
one user or yeah users that's at the same time at the same time so like yeah four people can
be watching it at the same time so that can be like different devices or different households
so obviously i have it and aaron uses it and my mum uses it and my dad uses it. Right, so you're not a leech.
Anytime someone doesn't have a membership
to something and they go, oh, I want to watch
this, I'm always like, I'll give you my password.
I'm a charitable woman.
Yeah.
I do charity all the time.
Like this, in small ways.
Charity starts at home, they say.
Alright, next on the show, the top six.
Yeah, the top six ways to get the girls playing basketball.
Christ, Christ.
One more time.
When you're not here, Fletch, we're having drinks.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can see.
From the yummy ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.
Hi there, Christchurch City Council facing a little backlash
after they said they painted a basketball court pink, yellow and green to encourage girls to use it.
This is the Branston Basketball Park in Hornby.
Not going to lie, that'll look pretty cute.
I think it's just nice to see a basketball court painted something a little bright,
you know, a little eye-catching.
Yes.
So the old asphalt was taken off And there was some fundraising for the painting
The local Rotary Club chucked some money in
And they talked to some local kids
About what would make them feel more comfortable
And make them want to play
And they said, well, I mean
We've all fallen over on asphalt
Remember how horrible and absolutely knee-destroying that can be
So a new surface automatically helps
And what if you're putting a new surface automatically helps.
And what if you're putting a new surface down, make it boring old grey?
They painted it an array of colours.
And they did ask, you know, the kids, and the kids said,
these are the colours we like.
And then some girls said, I've never seen a pink one.
And so it's not like... So they did consult.
They did consult the very people they want to use it.
However, when they came out and said,
perhaps they needed this explanation as a front runner
to the headline,
we painted it pink so girls will play.
Yeah.
Because that didn't sit right.
So it's about the presentation of it,
not the actual product.
It's the way that they sort of...
Yeah, we talked to some kids and what would make it,
and some said, you know, short of supervisors being down there
to make sure everybody got an even go,
make it, you know, visually appealing and bright
and a friendly-looking space, and we're more likely to play.
But, yeah, the headline,
a new pink, green and yellow colour basketball court
has been designed to encourage girls to feel comfortable using and playing basketball.
Obviously, people were like, what?
Mr. Mark a little bit there.
So it's the media.
Yeah.
It's the media.
MSN.
Well, no, it's actually Christchurch City Council posted it on their own Facebook page.
So I'd say whoever's in charge of writing a short snappy caption probably needed to work on it.
But if that doesn't get them playing basketball,
I've got the top six ways to get girls playing basketball.
Number six.
Cream magazine with a sealed section for the Brakes bench.
Oh, I'd be there in a heartbeat.
Hello.
You can read about penises and all sorts of things.
Man, they always had the weirdest tips in there.
They'd always be like,
why not try pinching him right on the...
Surely that's not a thing.
Yeah.
Or the top six foods that your bits might look like.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Pizza.
What?
What?
No.
Why?
I think you should see a doctor if it looks like pizza, personally.
Number five on the list of the top six ways to get girls playing more basketball,
pink milkshakes for refreshments.
Oh, yum.
Delicious.
Yeah.
And girls need milk because of their brittle, brittle bones.
We're so weak.
Oh, my God.
You're powdery.
Oh, my God.
You're all...
I'm dust.
Yeah.
You get to a certain age, you know, and you're on borrowed time.
You're osteoporosis.
That's what's going to happen to me.
So milk.
Bit of calcium there will help you out. Number four on the list of the
top six ways to get girls playing basketball,
have a little machine
on the side that dispenses free pads.
Girls love wearing big,
thick, bulky pads.
I don't know. All the options
on the market, pads are still the number one.
You reckon? I've asked nobody.
Yeah, right. But I've made an assumption.
Right, pads.
Alright. Do I want your opinion?
No. No, I won't give it to you.
Number three on the list of the top six. And I'm actually sorry
that I interrupted you. As very well you
should be. Number three on the list of the top six ways
to get more girls playing basketball
next to the basketball court,
have a glass on.
I mean, it would be handy.
I'm always popping in.
I waited outside once.
Coming and going, coming and going.
I tell you, and the majority of people going in and out, females.
Out of glass on.
Of course.
Cute outfits to play in.
Oh, yeah.
We love it.
Yeah.
A pair of leggings for later.
They got it all. Some cut-off jeans. Yeah. 29 bucks of leggings for later. They got it all.
Some cut-off jeans.
Yeah.
29 bucks.
Yeah, that's a great price.
That's a great price.
Number two on the list of the top six ways to get more girls playing basketball.
Have some dogs and cats on the sideline to pat.
I'm in.
Yeah.
I'm in.
Yeah, yeah.
You've got the pitch there.
When you get the ball through the hoop, because that's, I don't know if you're familiar with
sport, that's the idea of the game of basketball.
Thank you for explaining that.
You get to pat a dog as a treat, as a reward.
So it will inspire women to participate in sport because they get to do the pat afterwards.
Cute and fluffy after.
Which is traditionally more in your wheelhouse.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Staying at home, patting a cat.
That's so thoughtful.
Well, I'm just,
I'm trying.
I'm an ally, you know.
Ally, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
And number one on the list
of the top six ways
to get more girls playing basketball,
get some cute boys down there.
Oh my God, we love the boys.
I know.
You do.
All of us.
And you'll do anything
for attention from a cute boy.
Oh, yeah.
Things well out of your usual, you know, habitual cycle.
Yes.
We just go gaga for them.
Hey, clue for these hot boys?
Okay.
Bring some snacks for them.
All right.
Maybe whip a little something up.
Feed the boys, bring them a little pleasure or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Because the way to a man's heart is through his...
What?
Yes.
Sorry.
She's actually got quite a good mic at home.
It picked up both pen and is when you slowly said those syllables together.
Yeah.
But no, he's right.
He's right.
He's right.
And the weight of the penis is through the stomach.
So that is today's top six.
Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.
Grand idea from the Global Harbour Mall in Shanghai.
They've installed a bunch of husband storage pods.
So when you get to the mall,
you can just check your husband into the storage pod
and then come back and get him later.
What do they do in there?
So there's a comfortable chair, a monitor, a computer, a game pad.
You can play retros 90s games
oh how many people are going to go in there and watch illicit material
surely they know they're glass aren't they they're glass that doesn't that eggs some people off
it took some people's boxes to be right okay yeah so from what I can see, it's like streaming services
or the select games.
Right.
Yeah.
So you can go in there and play.
Well, I just want one full stop for home
because I'm often told
when I'm getting a little vocal,
be it with video gaming
or a game of D&D,
to just shush.
Because your setup is right in the middle of your lounge.
It's in the lounge, yeah.
And even when everybody's in bed, I've got headphones on
and I'm getting very excited about rolling a Nat 20, guys.
Don't get me started.
And I'll get a message on my phone being like, shush, game is down.
You're being too loud.
Stop yelling just because you've rolled a 20.
No one cares about your damaged dice. Like, shush, gave her down. You're being too loud. Stop yelling just because you've rolled a 20.
No one cares about your damaged dice.
Like that sort of response from down the... So I feel if I had a soundproof box...
Yes.
Oh, but could you imagine the smell of those things?
I know.
Like, have you ever seen at an airport overseas,
like an Eastern European airport,
in the middle of like a terminal?
Do I have smoking boxes?
Yeah, but I'm not smoking.
I might do the odd fluff and eat, you know, some delicious snacks,
but I'd leave the door open when I wasn't using it
for it to have a good air out.
I'm sure as well in like a plastic or a glass pod,
there's some kind of aeration system.
You'd definitely hope so.
A circulatory air system.
Aren't you in the process of going to build a new garage?
Yeah.
I think you need to sort of accommodate this so you can get your gaming out of the house.
That's a great idea.
And into an adjacent pod, maybe attached to the garage.
Yeah, or within the walls of the garage, secretly concealed.
That'd shut you up.
That would really shut me up.
In a pod inside a garage outside the house.
Or underground.
Just go underground.
Well, you know, I have really wanted to do a bunker.
I know you have.
Somebody told me you can't do it without council consent.
I'm like, I don't want the council knowing I've got an underground bunker,
so of course I'm not going to tell them.
Yeah, you don't want Phil Goff coming around when the zombie apocalypse happens
because he knows you've got some
rice and water under there.
Let me in. Let me in.
God damn it, I knew I shouldn't have put this on my
official council plans.
Every other bloody bumhole
councillor knocking at the door, not bringing anything
to the party. I'll be a bureaucrat
when we reform that.
No, let the zombies eat them.
We should definitely get these pods in New Zealand. when we reform the... No, let the zombies eat them. Red-hat madness.
We should definitely get these pods in New Zealand.
Yeah.
Aaron's such a wanderer.
Yeah.
And they stand outside the shop
and they just keep walking past
and then looking in and being like...
Still in here.
Okay, cool.
I'm going to go down to that shop down the road
with life-size Dragon Ball Z statues,
stand beside it,
and imagine how hard it would be to fight Goku.
That's basically me every time we go to a mall.
Yeah.
So I think a pod witch would keep me entertained is a great idea.
Husband pods.
Husband pods.
So we're going to do this every Friday during Secret Sound.
We're going to pick a neon movie
and we're going to act out a scene from it.
It's our scene sleuth.
And if you can correctly identify the movie and you're the to act out a scene from it. It's our scene sleuth. And if you can correctly identify the movie
and you're the first one through,
you win $250 cash and 12 months of neon.
Great prize.
Blimmin' great prize.
Now, Vaughan and Hayley,
you will be acting out the scene here.
I am going to give you the synopsis.
And those listening, the synopsis of the movie.
Are we ready?
Baraga, baraga, baraga, baraga, baraga, baraga.
What's baraga, baraga, baraga?
Should I be doing baraga, baraga?
Wait, you should all be doing that.
You should be.
We're going to jump into a dramatic scene like this cold?
I'm a white male full of arrogance.
The world's my oyster.
I take from the earth all that I need.
Is this part of the scene or are you still...
Is this like a spiritual warm-up?
We used to have a warm-up that was,
I take from the earth all that I need
and I bring it into me.
I take from the sky all that I need
and I bring it into me.
And when it is inside of me,
I give it away.
We've interviewed a lot of movie stars and actors,
and they're all a little bit weird, eh?
All actors are a slight less cool way.
They're a bit kooky.
Yeah.
I think that's why I'm not a very good actor,
because I'm not crazy.
You're too normal.
I'm too normal.
All right, okay, here's the synopsis for the movie,
and then you guys can get into the scene.
Thank you.
A high school student doesn't expect life to change much
when she moves from sunny Arizona to rainy Washington State.
Then she meets a handsome but mysterious teen
whose eyes seem to peer directly into her soul.
She enters into a dangerous romance.
Your skin is pale white and ice cold Your eyes change color
You never eat or drink anything
You never go out in the sunlight
How old are you?
Seventeen How old are you? 17.
How long have you been 17?
A while. A while.
I know what you are.
I am vengeance.
Oh, no, sorry.
Wait, what?
Just say it.
Say it.
Out loud!
Vampire.
Are you afraid?
No.
Insane.
Insane.
I feel like your acting was really great, Hayley Vaughan.
What were you doing?
I was acting.
To be fair, I haven't seen this film.
We did watch the clip beforehand.
It's the same voice.
I was doing a Batman voice.
It's almost the same voice. That is a Batman voice. It's almost the same voice.
Oh, that is a big clue.
A big clue.
All right, so who have we got?
Who have we got to guess first up?
Joining us on the phone, Michaela.
Morning, Michaela.
Oh, are you there, Michaela?
Okay.
Oh, you're in and out, Michaela.
All right, we're heading now.
Sorry, Michaela, we're going to head to Nikki instead.
Good morning, Nikki.
Morning.
Morning.
There you are, Nikki.
Now, we just gave you some of our best acting,
putting my acting degree to good use,
and Vaughan, you were just sort of giving and receiving.
There.
I was just there.
You were there.
Yeah, I was there.
Tell us, what's the film?
Is it Twilight?
Yes.
I mean, it could be no other.
It could be no other.
Too easy. It could be no other. Too easy.
It wasn't too easy. It was our incredible performances that led her to that
answer. Hey,
congratulations. We have for you, Nikki.
We've got a 12-month
Neon subscription and
$250 cash. Well done.
Brilliant. Thank you.
Congratulations.
Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.
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Details at simasters.com.
There is a mom, a mom in the US,
who has gone viral on TikTok.
Overnight had nearly a million views.
She took to TikTok to share her interesting parenting rules that she has in her house.
She said she has three children.
In her house at the age of 13, you're allowed to swear
as long as you use it in the proper context.
What's the proper context of a swear word?
Being really angry, I think.
Yeah, hitting your knee on something.
Yeah, dropping something on your foot.
You have to use it in the proper context
and you do not disrespect adults by swearing.
So not swearing at the adults in the house.
You will say ma'am and sir to your mother and father
and you will be respectful.
When her kids, since they were like old enough to walk,
they had to cook their own breakfast.
And at the age of 16, anyone under her roof starts paying rent.
Oh, one of those parents.
Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.
You want to start behaving like an adult?
I always thought that calling your, like, parents sir, like, it's too formal.
Old school.
It's like, really, it's like, what?
You can call them mum.
Even our parents' generation.
No, I know.
Yeah. But, like, my dad is definitely of the end of the generation
of he'd give his dad a handshake more than, and, like, not cuddles.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, my dad would never have cuddled his father, I don't think.
Yes.
But paying rent at 16 is a bit strange.
Yeah, at least, I can imagine 18 or after school. Once you're able to go out and get a full strange. Yeah, at least I can imagine 18 or after school.
Once you're able to go out and get a full-time job, absolutely.
You had them.
You can't start charging them rent when they're not capable of earning.
Or, you know, what is your other option?
Leaving?
Okay, well, producer Jared has just messaged in.
He read the article slightly
in more detail than I did
she does, so she makes them
pay rent from 16 but she saves
the rent and will give it to them when they
move out. So it's a savings
scheme. Yeah but
still. She still makes them call
her ma'am. Yeah
It's a bit strange. She's her own ma'am
Yeah I know, so we wanted to put it
to you, our lovely listeners.
Was there a crazy
rule in your house that your parents put into
place? I mean, the
no swearing thing growing up is
understandable, right?
We ease
into it. Oh, I'm not allowed to
swear. My mother does not. She told
Fletch off once. I know. She told me off. She said we don't speak like that in our house. Oh God, every now and then to swear. My mother does not. Still. She told Fletch off once. I know.
She told me off.
She said,
we don't speak like that in our house.
Oh God,
every now and then
I'll drop a C around Patsy.
What?
Oh my Lord.
Yeah, Bev's loose
with the swearing.
Yeah.
We don't swear,
not just for the,
not like pirate mouths,
but if we're like
worked up about something
and we're having a go,
not at each other, but if we're, oh, this thing.
Yeah, I swear on my mum and definitely as teenagers because I never swore at my parents, not once.
I wouldn't dare.
So, you know, I was allowed to swear because it was not like at them.
It was like about something.
But yeah, maybe you had a crazy rule, a curfew that was unreasonable
or you had to, you know, the amount of housework you had to do
in order to live under their roof, as I'd say.
I'm putting the mortgage here, my rules.
Yeah.
Or maybe you were paying expenses and you were 12.
I don't know.
Yeah.
12-year-old paying expenses.
I mean, I laugh, but maybe.
Well, yeah, maybe you were using the heater too much
and they were trying to teach you a lesson.
Absolutely, had the heater on going all night in your bedroom.
All right, well, 0800 dials at MSN number.
You can text as well, 9696.
What was your parents' crazy house rule when you were growing up?
Your funny house rules that your parents had in place.
A US mum's gone viral on the talk
when she shared that anyone over the age of 16 pays rent in her house.
They have to call her sir or ma'am, and they're allowed to swear.
Sort of up and down those rules, isn't it?
Yeah.
Cool mum, strict mum.
So we asked you what your crazy house rules are.
We've got Claire on the phone.
Morning, Claire.
Morning.
What was your house rule?
I was turning off the electric blanket.
I'm sorry, Claire,
but that doesn't seem like a crazy rule to me.
That just seems like a way my dad
doesn't want the house burnt down.
Yeah, it was a cold house,
but I used to repeat it.
Yeah, I used to leave shit turned on,
stuff turned on.
And it was the worst feeling.
I remember my mum used to
when I was a teenager
and I got a later curfew and I would go out on
the turps a little bit and I had a curfew
to come home and I would get home after a night
out with my friends and my mum would have turned on my electric
blanket so our drunk teen Hayley
could get into the bed. You're already doing it.
And I don't think she realised just quite how drunk I was
and so I would get into this warm bed
and fall asleep with it on. I don't like them. They're human slow cook was. And so I would get into this warm bed and fall asleep with it on.
I don't like them.
They're human slow cookers.
I've said this before.
They're slow cookers.
You wake up feeling absolutely slow cooked.
Yeah, but I mean, not a bad rule.
That's a sensible rule.
How did he enforce it then?
He cut off the cord.
Also with the leisure blankets, you can always feel them on the bed,
but that's to the side because it's giving you warmth.
So you had to feel it without it being able to warm you.
Yeah.
Punishment.
Oh, Claire, that's pretty rough.
Punishment.
Thanks for your call, Claire.
We've got Luke on the phone.
Morning, Luke.
What was your house rule?
First paycheck, regardless of age,
you got to keep, and then after that, a quarter of
your income. What?
Like the church.
Well, I tell you what,
imagine having that now. It'd be fucking brilliant.
Oh, sorry, it'd be really brilliant. That's right.
Hey, no swearing in this house, Luke.
Yeah, Luke, that's a quarter of your
wages, thank you.
The other thing was, if we could buy it,
we could drink it, smoke it, or on-sell it for profit.
What?
Regardless of age.
Yep, that was the rule.
If you can afford it, you can buy it.
If you can buy it yourself.
So you're 16, you've managed to buy booze.
Mum's like, well, knock yourself out.
Oh, no, this is definitely not a mum rule.
Oh, this is a dad rule.
I was going to say, mum wouldn't stand for this.
Probably not, no.
Luke, thanks for your call.
What are you, a cat?
Some other messages in.
Someone said, if we wanted to swear growing up on the farm,
we had to go down to the dog kennels.
Because if you wanted to, you know, really unleash and vent and do some swearing, it was down to the dog kennels because if you wanted to, you know, really
unleash and vent and do some swearing, it was down to the dog kennels because that's
where you learn all the good ones anyway.
Oh, that's an interesting rule.
Also on the phone, Tanya, what was your house rule?
Morning, Tanya.
Hi.
Hi.
Good morning.
Hi.
Tell us the rule your parents put in place. We had a rule that each day when the washing was dried,
it was put on a chair.
If you didn't take your own washing that night,
it got put away in our parents' room and you had to buy it back.
I like that rule.
With cash or could you be like,
I'll fold the washing to earn back my washing?
No, with cash. With cash. Wow. How like, I'll fold the washing to earn back my washing? No, with cash.
With cash.
Wow.
How much did your parents?
Yeah.
We got charged 10 cents per item, so 20 cents for a pair of socks.
Oh, literally per piece.
So if you woke up in the morning, got out of the shower and had no clean clothes,
you had to find some coinage to get some undies, two socks.
No, because you had to wait
until the end of the week.
You couldn't just go and buy it back.
What, so the shop that was confiscating your clothes
was only open once a week?
Yeah.
What sort of state is your floor drobe in now?
Have you, like, stuck to this
and you've got neatly folded clothes
or are you just, like, dumping it on the floor
to make up for lost time?
I dump it on a couch
in my room.
Yeah.
Didn't work, did it?
Doesn't work.
Didn't work.
Doesn't always work.
Amazing.
Hey, thanks.
You called some messages in.
Our rule was
we weren't allowed
to watch any animated shows.
That was rot.
Oh.
Parents,
no animated shows?
I remember when we weren't
allowed to watch The Simpsons
and I would like
come out of bed
and like spy it on the TV. Wait, so your parents would watch The Simpsons but you weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons. Yeah. And I would, like, come out of bed and, like, spy it on the TV.
Wait, so your parents would watch The Simpsons, but you weren't allowed to watch with them?
Yeah, now I'm realising it's weird that my parents watched The Simpsons.
Yeah.
In the 90s.
They're sitting down, they're like, oh, that Bart Simpson.
Cowabunga.
He says cowabunga far too often and he skateboards everywhere.
He's absolutely bad news.
Yeah.
It's the final rankings.
Man, I'm excited about this one.
We do this every Friday.
Last week, we ranked our favourite corn-based chip snacks.
But this week, it's the favourite parts of the chicken.
I think for the first time, this could be something we all agree on.
Well, let's see.
Let's see. there's so much
so what are we
we're including thighs
every breast
every single aspect
of the chicken
drum, wing, offal
we're talking your liver
we'll include the offal
kidneys
because I love a pate
kidneys
Shade, my wife
will always
at a barbecue
like where they come out
on the skewers
if it's an option
she'll get the chicken livers
loves a chicken liver Tanuki's Cave you knowves the chicken liver. Tanuki's Cave,
you know the Japanese chicken livers?
Tanuki's Cave does good chicken livers. I find that I'm not a huge fan
of the livers. You put them in your mouth and you're like,
and it feels like it's drying your mouth immediately.
I'll eat them. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat it,
but I'm not loving it as much as other parts
of the chicken. Well, look, if we're gonna go
stir fry, a lot of people make
the mistake of going for the breast and it's
dry and yuck. Thighs are where it's at.
Thighs are where it's at.
I did make a stir fry this very week
with breast
and dries it out.
Yeah, it dries out. Because by the time everything else
cooks and the vegetables cook and the sauce
reduces down, the chicken's been in there for far
too long. I'm sure we're about to hear from the chicken
care people who are going to tell us that
you know, stuff a breast with enough pesto
and enough cream cheese
and then crumb it
and you've got a wonderful meal.
And I'll say,
yeah, but the thigh is so versatile,
it can do that as well.
And it can stand,
but I think that we need to rank it
on how it stands as is,
you know, like as itself.
Yes.
Adding flavour,
but not stuffing it
and putting this and shoving it full of bacon. Yeah. Adding flavour, but not stuffing it and putting this
and shoving it full of bacon.
Yeah.
Okay, but what about the chicken?
What do you have when you have wings?
Is that the wing?
Is that what you call the wing?
The bit.
The nibbles.
The nibbles.
There's two parts to the wing.
There's the drumette, which is like the little drumstick,
which I always thought was just the legs of little chickens,
little tiny chickens, and the flat, like the wingette part,
and that's the part with the two bones in it,
that you can literally, if it's cooked well enough,
and it should always be cooked to perfection,
you can just suck the meat right off.
Do you guys have friends that are like,
oh, I hate bones, and they don't do nibbles and wings?
I grew up being just a breast woman
because off the bone, I could never get into it too much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you get too much gristly bits and bits that you're like,
oh, my God, what's that?
Yeah, over that, though, the minute you're over that, though, thigh.
You can get a bone-out thigh as well.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
But I love the bone in.
You cook meat on a bone, the bone adds flavour to the meat as it's cooked.
It does.
Okay, what about this for the favourite part of a chicken,
the roast skin when it's all seasoned?
Oh, my gosh.
Like, Fed Deli.
You know how they make a chicken sandwich and they fry up the skin
and then chop it all up and put it through the chicken and mayo.
Oh, my God.
So good.
I don't think you're going to sell anybody on the skin being the best part of a chicken, though.
So, okay.
I'll go first in terms of my rankings.
Thigh. Thigh.
Thigh is premier.
Yeah.
It's number one.
Then I'm going to go the wing, the chicken nib.
Yeah.
Then I am going breast because I love like a katsu curry,
like a small sort of chicken schnitzel style chicken.
I think if you cook a breast right, it's very juicy and tender.
Okay. I'd agree with you. I'd if you cook a breast right, it's very juicy and tender. Okay.
I'd agree with you.
I'd probably back that up.
You're following my order.
Yeah.
You guys have completely neglected drumsticks.
Drumsticks are a champion chicken part.
No.
You don't need anything to eat them apart from your fingers.
What do you do if they get too dry?
I chew it all.
They don't get too dry.
You're overcooking your drumstick.
That's on you.
That's not on the drumstick.
Yeah, but if you go to a barbecue,
and they're cooking multiple different types of things,
the drum's always dry.
You've overdone it.
Then you've got to say,
you've got a dry drumstick.
I don't have a dry drumstick.
I've got a big, juicy drumstick.
You've got a dry old drumstick.
I wonder if,
no one's going to talk about the neck or the feet.
They're very popular in Chinese cuisine.
Hugely popular.
And you know what?
If you can get over the fact that you're literally eating the clawed foot of a chicken,
it's actually not too bad at all at Yum Chao.
I haven't tried it.
I'll go a chicken foot.
Neck.
A lot of little bones.
A lot of work around.
Not a huge fan of the neck.
My ranking would be thigh, wing, drumstick, breast last.
Wow. Yeah. Go drumstick.
The only thing stopping drumstick
from perhaps being second is that little
bone that runs down the side of it
that I don't want to be there. Yes.
Fair enough. If we could breed some chickens
that can follow. That's annoying, that little bone,
isn't it? It's a real choker.
It'll get you if you swallow it.
Also, good morning to our vegan listeners this morning.
Yeah, morena.
Yeah, we're just letting you know what you're missing out on.
Talking about ripping apart the carcass of a cooked bird
and eating every bit of it down to its skeleton.
Well, maybe you've been dating someone for a while.
You really like them.
You get on like a house on fire, but for some reason,
you know, it's just not going to that next level.
Oh, the flame's not.
The flame is...
Yeah, it's a candle.
It's the back element on the gas hob.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it's not reaching full boil.
It's not your favourite one.
You feel like the mason bee's been in there
and put some, you know some blocks in the gas element.
You're not going to get a pin in there and clear that out.
Yeah, well, there is a chance that despite liking them
and thinking that they're an awesome person,
you may be better off as friends.
We all know about the friend zoning,
but this is sort of an acknowledgement of like,
hey, I like you so much that I would like to be your friend.
Here are the five signs,
and these come from the director of Hinge,
the dating app.
That's the new big one.
Oh, yeah, but this is big dating.
They want you to get back on their app, don't they?
Find someone new.
Yeah, they want you to constantly be dating people,
even though it could be the man of your dreams
to just get you back on the app.
Exactly.
Friends own everybody,
so you can sign up for our dating app.
Well, I don't know.
I think this person knows a lot about dating and I'm going to pass
on their information to New Zealand, Aotearoa,
this beautiful country.
So the first sign that you and your
lover might be better off as platonic
friends, your lifestyles are just too different.
You know, so you
enjoy your company when you're
together, but your actual lifestyles are
totally polar opposite. But I know some people that really
make that work. Me and Aaron are that.
Yeah. We have totally different lifestyles. Well, he's a homebody,
isn't he? He's not a huge party guy.
I'm a social butterfly. But you love socialising.
He wants to live in the country.
I'm a city slacker. Yeah.
So maybe
I'm going to read this list and realise that Aaron and I
are better off as friends.
We are great mates.
The second sign that you might be better off as friends,
you're looking for different things.
So the same thing again,
if you're in the moment,
you're enjoying each other's company
and life's going fine,
but when you think about the future,
it looks completely different.
Perhaps that would be a more sustainable relationship
for a friendship than a long-term romance.
The third one,
we want different things.
I'm just going to tie it back to me and Aaron.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay, this is not going good.
You're only with them because they look good on paper.
Stats.
Stats.
Stats chat.
They're ticking all your boxes for the things you thought you wanted,
but still the flame is not burning at full tit.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
And the fourth reason, you're forcing the connection.
So you can feel that, like, you're making it work.
You're really pushing for it to happen.
I think I'm out here.
I think me and Aaron are safe at this point.
Because the fifth one, you're not sexually compatible, and I'll tell you what.
Wow. I don't know if are safe at this point because the fifth one, you're not sexually compatible and I'll tell you what. Wow.
I don't know if we necessarily need details on your compatibility.
We don't need details.
But even if you have that
physical attraction to your
partner, when it comes to
sexy times,
it's just not happening.
It's just not connecting. You're not on
the same page. You're both lying down somewhere like, well, someone's got to go on top. You're both lying there side by side like, that's just not happening. Yeah. It's just not connecting. You're not on the same page. Yeah. You're both lying down somewhere like, well, someone's got to go on top.
You're both lying there side by side like.
That's just not going to work if we just lie both on our back.
Someone's got to get up there.
Side by side.
You go first.
You go first.
It's not right.
No.
No.
It's clunky.
Like, hey, where are you?
Yeah.
Do you want to, which one are you going to do first?
Because I was thinking this.
And then that noise. That's not something. Oh, maybe it's the noise you want to which one are you going to do first because I was thinking this and then that noise that's not something
oh
maybe it's the noise
you want to hear
in the bedroom
it was a bit more
pitch like
but not
okay
play
ZM's
Fletch
Vaughn
and Hayley
we're so lucky
this isn't a TV show
we literally were like
we're going live now
and I took a big bite
of brioche
and I was like
what are you doing?
And I pulled it out of my mouth and slapped it onto the...
Oh, good.
Good stuff.
The paper bag.
That can go back in the mouth afterwards.
Yeah.
A bride has made a simple request of her guests
that they dress according to a prearranged colour palette.
Yeah.
You've sent this through this colour palette. It looks like when sent this through, this colour palette.
It looks like, you know when you go to Bunnings or
Mitre 10 and you grab one of those paint,
you know, the colour palettes, the charts.
Yes. And it's all green and
olive and stuff. It's very neutral. It's complimentary colours.
Neutrals with a few pops of
like olive and sage.
And she's
like, this is the colour palette
of our wedding.
Please dress to it.
Do you think it will age the wedding photos or make them a little more timeless?
Because... Well, we just talked about this because we were talking in the break
and I said to Vaughan, do you have photos of your wedding day?
And he said, yes, we did take photos on our wedding day.
We took a couple of photos.
And you showed me the photos, and they are gorgeous
because your colour palette was...
Thank you, because I'm a nun.
Yes, yes, Fletch, you looked very handsome.
Thank you.
But they're gorgeous still to this day,
even though it's 11 years old,
because your colour palette was black and white.
Black and white for the bridal party,
but they're worse, like, we got married at the end of 2010,
so, like, for my sister was wearing a sort of a bright purple number.
Yellows were very popular at the time.
Big, rich reds.
Yeah, teals and greens.
Teals were big at the time.
Teals were big with mother-in-laws.
Yes.
But when you say to someone you can only wear these coloured clothes
to my wedding, you may be asking people that can't afford new clothes.
You are insinuating.
I might have a couple of shirts that are just white or blue or black.
I've got to now go out and buy a green or a mustard coloured shirt for your wedding?
You are insinuating that everyone will be purchasing a new outfit for a wedding,
which I think is, even now,
is getting quite an old-fashioned idea
that people are like, oh, no, you couldn't wear that.
You've already worn that to a wedding.
I think now we're like, ugh.
You can hire things like design a boutique and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm on your side.
I don't agree with this.
I think your bridal parties,
you do your colour coordination
and everyone else just wear whatever.
Yes, well, we put a poll, and I say wear, I mean,
social media queen, Carween.
Rules for what wedding guests wear, yeah or nah.
29% said yeah, that's all good.
And 71% said nah, don't do that.
Let them wear what they want.
But, I mean, if you're having a nice wedding,
you can't have someone turning up in their para-rubber jandals.
Why not?
Nobody's going to a wedding in jandals.
I've been to a wedding where someone came in jandals
and everyone went, huh, and then that was it.
We're all over it.
Oh, it'd piss me off no end if I was paying
a hundred and whatever dollars a head
and someone was wearing para-rubber jandals.
You've got to run point on that.
You know the people you're inviting to your wedding.
You know what ones will turn up in jandals,
so you have to do a pre-check.
Let them know the dress code.
A dress code is good to say formal or casual or cocktail or black tie.
But to limit it to a palette, I think, I think is too far.
I've asked the bride, we were going to a wedding
and Shadona were disagreeing about what I would wear
because I'm a pain in the ass.
Well, she wouldn't let you rock a pair of jorts?
No, she was anti-jorts for the wedding.
And so I messaged the bride saying like, what's the vibe?
And I was in so much trouble.
And everyone we talked to was like,
you know you don't put that on the bride
because she might feel
that she can't say
what she wants.
What she wants.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, you never messaged
the bride info for me.
Hey, bride, what's up?
For your wedding,
what kind of dress code
am I shooting for?
What did you text her
in the morning of the wedding?
Of the wedding.
Hey, you're putting
a couple of things on
but can I wear this,
take a photo?
What was your opinion
on this look?
Yeah, jorts,
jorts and a tee,
jorts and a linen shirt.
Basically, a jorts okay. Yeah, a jorts, jorts and a tee, jorts and a linen shirt. Basically, are jorts okay?
Yeah, are jorts okay?
No jorts.
No jorts.
Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.
Play ZM.
Friday.
Flashback.
Flashback.
Flashback.
The year was 1998, but the very end of 1998.
So it did its charting.
It did its charting.
It had its major success in the year 1999.
It had its radio airplay in 1999.
It was a remix of a song from 1979.
Hmm.
The Aberdeen Evening Express, the Scottish newspaper from Aberdeen,
said they did such a sparkling remake of the song,
it gets off to a discotastic start.
Oh, my gosh.
What is this?
Also described as a triumphant cover and a powerful...
I think I know what it is, but I'll stay silent.
Performance coupled with that iconic hands dance step
made it an undeniable dance floor anthem.
It's not Boot Scootin' Baby, is it?
It's not Boot Scootin' Baby.
Oh, damn it.
It's a cover of a BG song.
Oh, amazing.
And the band is known as Steps.
And the song is Tragedy.
Ladies and gentlemen,
for your Friday flashback,
feast your ears.
Wow.
Ding, ding, ding.
I feel like I'm in Les Mills Step Plus.
Get steppin'.
Because our Friday flashback is Steps' cover of Tragedy by the Bee Gees.
Enjoy.
It's it in. Here I lie in a lost and lonely part of town
Held in time in a world of tears I slowly drown
Going home, I just can't make it
All alone, I really should be
Holding you, holding you
Loving you, loving you
Tragedy, when the feeling's gone and you can't go on
It's tragedy, when the morning cries and you don't know why it's hard to bear
With no one to love you, you're going nowhere
Tragedy, when you lose control and you can't go on
It's tragedy, when the morning cries and you don't know why it's hard to bear
With no one beside you, you're going nowhere I'm a day burning down inside of me
Oh, burning love, with a yearning that won't let me be
Down I go, and I just can't take it all alone
I really should be holding you, holding you, loving you, loving you.
Tragedy, when the feeling's gone and you can't go on.
It's tragedy, when the morning cries and you don't know why it's hard to bear.
But no one's alive, you're going nowhere
Tragedy
When you lose control and you get no soul, it's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why it's hard to bear
With no one beside you, you're going nowhere Tragedy
When the feeling's gone and you can't go on
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you don't know why
It's hard to bear
With no one to love you
You're going nowhere
Tragedy
When you lose control and you can't go on It's tragedy When the lose control and you get no soul
It's tragedy
When the morning cries and you're not just dying
It's not too bad
With no one beside you
You're going nowhere
It's not too bad Ed Stips, Tragedy Add steps, tragedy.
It's your Friday flashback on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.
I'm out of breath.
Yeah, we've been doing a bloody Les Mills class in here.
God, that was a four minute 21 song.
They don't make songs that long now. I should have used that as a bathroom break, to be fair.
You're puffed.
I am puffed man
that is such a banger i had that album and uh it's this thing after being it was a great album
it was a really great album um some feedback uh someone said i just did the i just was doing the
dance to the step song and my kids said mom did you mom said excuse me what are you doing
kicking off random loud noises in the background
Someone said
I was doing that dance
And my kid said
Mum did you learn this off TikTok?
And I said
This is well before TikTok
We need to get this back on the talk
We should learn the dance
Put it back on the talk
Is it on the talk?
Have you seen that on the talk?
Are we starting a talk trend?
Let's go talk
Okay let's learn the dance We're going seen that on the talk? Are we starting a talk trend? Let's go talk. Okay, let's go on the dance.
We're going to talk after the show.
Somebody else said, I'm only 23 and I know for a fact this is a banger.
That's good to hear from the 23-year-olds who would have literally been covered in birth ooze.
Yes.
As this was on.
When that song came out.
Maybe they were birthed to this song.
To that song.
That was on in the ward when that came out
and immediately started clicking their little baby fingers.
And the doctor's like, great news.
It's a girl.
She's got 10 fingers and 10 toes
and her fingers are already clicking
and her toes are already tapping.
Someone said, I saw this in concert
and it was absolutely phenomenal in concert.
I'm so jealous.
Someone said, can you just let Fletch know your secret
so he starts picking duds?
That's actually, I'm more than happy to impart some wisdom.
I have COVID.
Don't kick a man when he's down.
Best time to hit him.
Best time.
Michelle said, yeah, it's time to cut the other two loose for him.
They're only holding you back.
How dare you?
I did five.
I paved the way for you.
You didn't pave the way for me.
I paved the way.
I dug the road.
You wouldn't have the balls if I didn't do that.
Yeah, somebody else said, oh, my God,
the dance moves just came flooding back to me
like I was back at the Pukekohe Blue Light Disco.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
That's not too far from where your fiancé.
My fiancé would have been at the Pukekohe Blue Light Disco.
Wow.
They might have pashed. They might have pashed.
He might have pashed.
He might have pashed on the dance floor.
You would say overwhelming success
today, Vaughan. Congratulations.
We'll give you that.
Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like that kind of just came under
the radar. I didn't have a single Guinness.
We were recording HYBPA
last night and it's on tonight, 8.30 on 2. We were like't had a single Guinness. We were recording HYBPA last night,
and it's on tonight, 8.30 on 2,
and we were like, where's our Guinness?
We haven't had a single beer.
Yeah.
Let alone a Guinness.
I guess because of COVID, you know,
the pubs weren't doing a lot and parties weren't happening.
Well, weren't they?
Because all the headlines covering the Dunedin shenanigans are plenty.
Said that they were all kind of like,
Dunedin students make up for lost time partying.
Students see St. Patrick's Day as a chance
to reclaim partying mist.
Apparently, Castle Street absolutely lost its mind.
Well, either way, couches were on fire.
Did somebody fall off a roof or a balcony?
Yeah, somebody fell off a balcony,
which was multiple storey.
Someone also fell from an internal...
Like a loft.
Yeah, like a loft.
They fell some distance,
but the distance was under a roof.
Jeepers.
Apparently O-Week, of course,
was under red traffic light restrictions,
so many students didn't get to have the blowout.
And so this they saw as their unofficial start to submissive shenanigans.
I was down in Dunedin last St. Paddy's Day.
It was marching nationals that just happened to align.
And we were driving, me and my friend were driving down the street,
and we stopped at a red light because we obey the law.
And then two drunk students in green just hopped in the back of our car.
And we were like, run, get out!
And they're like, take us to the square!
We were like, get out of the car!
Well, the news networks returned to Dunedin last night
and they were smacking their little fat lips together
because they finally had some students misbehaving.
And that, at this time of year, is absolute fodder for the six o'clock.
It really is.
And it kind of gives us
a reprieve from the Ukraine,
global warming,
this new strain
that's tearing through Europe,
everything.
And it kind of,
you know,
gave people
something to look at.
And I was one,
and I was just thinking
all of these students
right up in the camera
would be like,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Their parents
would probably be
watching the news.
Did you see the reporter?
I forget her name.
She was doing the live cross to one news last night.
Yeah, and the girl came along with her box of pals
and she's like, can I just say something?
Can I?
I've got to say something.
This is my chance.
And the camera pans away and Maddie Lloyd just kind of shuffles
180 degrees that way.
I was like, someone's mum and dad were at home watching that and that's their daughter.
They go, oh, Hayley, we're paying for this education.
Why are you doing?
But there was so much footage of the partying and the couches on fire.
I was like, there would definitely be some parents at home like, oh, that's our little Timmy.
Yes, yes, he's blossomed into a real man.
Timmy, I gave you that couch to take to Dunedin.
Your father wanted that for his rumpus room.
And we said, I said, I put my bloody foot down and I said to your father,
Timmy will look after that couch.
And you've gone and burnt it on Castle Street, Timmy.
We saw it on the news.
Your father's an absolutely roper, boy.
He's not even talking to you.
I was wondering if anybody
listening to the show this
morning, and not yesterday's shenanigans, but
shenanigans, when did your shenanigans
get you on the television
or in the paper, or there's a
photo of you that's associated with an event
that your parents or
guardians or loved and respected
elders saw?
Are we including police 10-7?
I was just going to say,
I would be disappointed if we didn't get anyone
call up that has been on Police 10-7.
Or what's the traffic one?
Traffic control?
Loaderway patrol.
Loaderway patrol.
Traffic control.
That's a boring watch, isn't it?
All right, stop.
Maybe border patrol, maybe a beagle had a sniff at your crotch.
As long as it's got shenanigans, we want to hear it.
It's shenanigans.
Yeah.
Associated shenanigans.
You were in the crowd at a sports game, there were shenanigans.
Yeah.
Yes.
Or maybe even your shenanigans were so shenanigan-rific,
it's stock imagery for shenanigans.
Yeah.
Do you know those people that end up as stock footage?
Oh, that's my worst.
There was a story the other day and it cut to
a guy on the beach at an
oriental parade and he had his like knickers
pulled right up on his butt
and he was sunbathing and I was like,
oh, if that was me, I'd be like...
He's stock imagery now for a sunny day in Wellington.
He is, he is. I always think this when they do
like pieces on
obesity epidemics
and they show shots of large people walking down the street.
And you're like, that's a human.
You can't just shoot someone's bum.
Yeah.
As the stock image for obesity.
Yeah.
So 0800 dials at Emerson number.
You can text as well, 9696.
When did your shenanigans land you in the news or in the press?
All right. Give us a call or a text now.
We're talking about when your shenanigans got you on the news
or in the paper or basically when someone saw and they were like,
hey, I saw you on the news throwing a bottle against the wall
at the Denise and Patrick's.
I just watched that footage again.
There's literally a dude in the background hiffing a bottle
at a brick wall
that he's standing from,
me to you away,
like five to six feet away from.
Smash.
It's like, please, your eyes.
Protect yourself, you silly bugger.
Don't throw glass bottles at a wall.
You goose.
We'll stop, especially from that distance.
So what got you on the news?
What got you in trouble?
Who spotted it?
We've got lots of messages. I'm going to take some calls. Yes on the news? What got you in trouble? Who spotted it? We've got lots of messages.
I'm going to take some calls.
Yes, Libby, what got you in trouble?
Well, it was back in the 80s,
and I was in London going to a cooking school,
and Fergie was getting married.
So, you know, you had to go to that.
From the Black Eyed Peas.
No, no, no, no.
To Josh Duhamel.
What's her name, Sarah?
Sarah Ferguson. Sarah Ferguson.
Sarah Ferguson.
So I called him sick to the cooking school
and we went and slept the night outside the church.
Did she marry the fiddler?
Yes, she did.
Yeah, okay.
We don't talk about the fiddler.
Different stories.
We don't talk about Andrew.
No, no, no.
Anyway, so it was a big night.
There were TV cameras everywhere.
You just ignored them.
So early in the morning, I was cutting open an orange,
pouring bog current, going cheers to breakfast, everybody,
and ended up on the BBC.
My cooking school found out that I wasn't sick,
and my aunt in Australia sent me a letter,
because no one could find much in those days,
going, good to see you're having fun in London.
Oh, my God.
It went international.
It went international.
Oh, good stuff.
You know what?
It is good to see you were having fun in London, though.
In the 80s.
What a blast.
In the 80s.
I tell you, the shoulder pads were wide.
I'm sure they were.
Thanks so much for your call, Libby.
Some messages in.
My partner went to the beer fest and
dressed up as beer pong cups. Got on the front
page of the Otago Daily Times that weekend.
Then went for a meeting to get his
Judy liquor manager licence on Monday.
And the
assessor said, you're the beer pong cup.
That's
I mean, you're like, yeah, but
I didn't vomit on myself or anything.
I'm just, you know.
One of my friends was on Police 10-7 and bit a chicken.
What?
What?
And then, what?
They bit a chicken.
Like, bit the chicken.
What?
A chicken or some chicken?
A cooked chicken?
Because a chicken says to me, still feathered, still clucking.
Yeah.
But some chicken is cooked. Bit some chicken. Okay, so I don't know if that's a famous says to me, still feathered, still clucking. Yeah. But some chicken is cooked.
Some chicken.
Okay, so I don't know if that's a famous Police 107 moment or not,
but they bit the chicken.
That's a bit full on.
Mike, what landed you on the news?
Hello?
Morning, Mike.
What got you in hot water there?
So me and my mates, there's these fountains in Western Australia
on the freeway of the Parliament House,
and they've got like five fountains, like waterfalls.
Oh, yeah.
So we went to a big place where you can buy lots of bulk stuff.
So we got four or five 40-kilo boxes of washing detergent
and went and dropped it in there.
It's across the freeway.
So we waited for ages and we thought nothing was going to happen.
But it was like the next morning, I think, it was the next morning,
and the whole freeway was just covered in bubbles.
So I completely sucked the whole freeway.
How much did you put in?
Because I remember people doing this in, like, fountains,
and they put in our bottle of just washing.
Yeah, our bottle of sunlight liquid.
We put in, like like four 40 kilo boxes.
We got holes in it and just lobbed them in there.
Oh my God.
Why?
Did they have footage of you?
It was like hours and hours of the freeway blocked up.
Yeah, was it just footage of the freeway with the bubbles
or with any ownership on you?
No, no, we did it at night time.
So you're admitting it now?
I'm also assuming that's why you fled Australia to New Zealand, Mike.
He's been on the run ever since.
Yeah, yeah.
We've just got ScoMo on the other line, actually, Mike.
You wait there, we're going to hook him up with your details.
Yeah, Scott, good morning, welcome to the show.
Scott Morrison, we got him.
We got him, Scott, we got him, Scott.
Mike, thanks so much for your call. Candice,
what got you in trouble?
Hi. Well, no,
it wasn't me. It was a friend of mine who
ended up in the Waikato
Times who
drove through a video
easy because she
heard Jandall got stuck on the accelerator
and she was returning an adult film.
Oh, no.
When the police turned up.
The police turned up.
I'd be like, I must have hit the adult section.
All these porn videos are on my front seat.
Oh, no.
Oh, dear.
What video Easy in Hamilton was it?
One of the big ones? Rotor Tuna. Oh, yeah. dear! What video easy in Hamilton was it? One of the big ones?
Rotatuna. Oh yeah, okay.
Oh he knows it, he knows it. We all know you're never
driving a jandle for this very reason. It hooks and
flaps behind the thing. Yeah.
Especially when you've got a porno on the front seat.
Candice, thanks for your call. It's like driving
with a birthday cake. You've got to drive very carefully
because it's going to take some explaining. One hand on it.
One hand on it.
Play. ZM's Flet One hand on it. Play.
ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.
What?
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.
We're really missing your third part.
Yeah, just that little filler.
Unfortunately, on Zoom, it doesn't gel.
It's a little out of time.
Fair enough.
Today's fact of the day is about the white stuff inside of an Oreo.
The icing.
The vegan cream.
The vegan cream.
The creme.
Creme de la vegan. The cre cream. The vegan cream. The creme. Creme de la vegan.
The creme.
And the only reason that the white stuff inside an Oreo is called creme,
that's C-R-E-M-E.
No diacritical mark.
I've just learned this term.
Diacritical.
Diacritical mark.
No, you know, like accents.
Because the French, the first E, C-R-E accent, creme, has an accent,
but the creme inside the Oreo doesn't because it is not French creme.
That is a French word for creme.
And it cannot be called creme because the FDA in America says you're not
allowed to call something creme that contains absolutely no creme whatsoever.
And the only reason they changed it to creme,
or no, just creme,
without the diacritical mark above the E,
is because the French were also like,
you cannot do that.
And aria is not from the pita sorry.
No, no, no, no.
You cannot call that creme.
It is creme.
So yeah, if you look, it's got no...
And I just Googled.
It's the very same with our...
Actually, maybe.
What?
Our Cameo cremes.
Because I always just grew up calling those Cameo cremes.
Same.
Yeah.
Are they not?
They're a Cameo creme.
Oh.
It was not a diaphragmatic creme.
Now, I found old retro diacritical.
I found old retro packages where there was no diacritical mark above the E,
but I've just found a new package of the Cameo creme,
and it does have the accent above the E.
Do you think that we will run this past Paris and we went,
look, these are very delicious.
Get this on the download.
We can't tell the French.
Can we use the creme? And French. And we used the creme.
And they said, we used the creme.
Or we're just doing it naughty.
We're just putting it on there.
I think they're just being naughty.
And they're putting it on there.
Also, I'm seeing on the classic cameo creme,
it says creamy, crispy, coconutty.
I didn't think it was coconutty.
It was a coconutty.
It's the creme on the inside, coconutty.
I've Googled for the double because, you know,
the double stuff is the best one because there's more creme.
Yeah.
There's more icing.
Oh, the warehouse have got them for a dollar at the moment.
That's crazy.
Because, you know, there's more creme.
Yeah.
I love double creme.
Oh, I love a bit of creme.
Because, of course, if you were going to have a creme brulee,
you would really hit that diacritical mark.
I want everybody by the end of this to have diacritical marks so firmly burned into their
brain.
Next time someone's like, oh, it's like the accent above the E, they'll be like, diacritical
mark is what you mean.
Not just accent.
It's too loose, according to this Wikipedia page on diacritical marks. So today's fact of the day is the white stuff inside an Oreo is called creme
because the FDA said you can't call it creme when it contains absolutely zero creme.
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.
Well, our silly little pole today, this is right up your alley badge hand.
Yes, it sure is.
Do you correct someone if they pronounce your name wrong?
I know when my name's about to be read out like if I've ordered something
and I'm waiting on it because they look at it and then they look around
and then they look at it again and then they go, and I'm like, Vaughan.
And they're like, yep.
And then I just swoop in and I take it.
Vaughan is another one you guess?
It's even, and it's everybody that gets it wrong.
Like old people, young people.
It's strange because Vaughan's not a, it's not a completely rare unique name.
No, but it does have different spellings it's not a completely rare unique name. No, no.
But it does have different spellings and that gets you agitated as well.
Yeah. Especially when someone here at work spells it wrong.
Oh.
When the company we work for will do a story and their print herald and spell it wrong.
Ha ha ha, why didn't they check it?
Do they keep that, sometimes lose that second A?
Ah, the second A often disappears, which is more of a surname way of spelling Vaughan
from my very limited research.
You've got way too many letters in there.
Or V-O-R-N is another way.
I'm fine with V-O-R-N.
As long as the R is capital and backwards.
Because corn.
Well, we asked you in our silly little poll.
Do you correct someone if they pronounce your name wrong?
57% of people said, yeah, name wrong? 57% of people said,
yeah, for sure.
43% of people said,
nah, too awkward.
I'm imagining there are other people
with names that are actually
hard to say.
Yeah, I reckon white people said,
yeah, I'll correct them.
And non-white people
with non-English names
would be like,
I cannot be bothered with this.
Not again today.
I've got a lot of friends of colour
with interesting names
that just go, whatever you want to call me, I can't be bothered with this. Not again today. I've got a lot of friends of colour with interesting names that just go,
whatever you want to call me, I can't be bothered with you.
Uh-oh.
I hadn't thought about reading out responses
and not hearing how these names are said and just seeing them written down.
It's either a Sarah or a Sarah.
It's an S-A-R-A.
Sarah.
A-S-A-R-A.
Now, if you're a Sarah, put an H on the end.
And I won't hear any more of it.
Stop being silly.
Sarah said, I never used to.
Now, always.
Okay.
Do you know what?
I reckon if she's S-A-R-A, she'll be Sarah.
I know a Sarah, S-A-R-A, and it's constantly Sarah.
A Sarah.
A Sarah.
S-A-R-A.
I'm with you.
Chuck an H on the end.
Problem solved. Jess says, oh, Jess, I'm with you. Chuck an H on the end. Problem solved.
Jess says,
Jess, I would love to know what your partner's name is.
My partner pronounces his own name wrong
so it's easier for other people to spell.
Wow, I wonder what his name is.
He puts more preference on the spelling being right
than the pronunciation.
Nicole says,
people call me Nicola all the time.
My name's Nicole and I will correct them.
My name is spelt E-L-L-E
but pronounced Allie, not Al.
Al McPherson is the one
you've got to blame
for all this situation, Allie.
A very famous Al.
Because before that,
people probably were Allie
and I don't have the energy
to explain that every time.
It's like Anne Hathaway
and she's like,
it's Annie Hathaway
but don't worry about it.
Nadine has messaged in.
Nadine has two pronunciations.
I roll with both.
Nadine.
Nadine and Nadine.
And Nadine.
That's just a different vowel.
Yeah.
Keep putting different emphasis on that.
Close enough, though, right?
Okay.
Okay.
Girl.
All right.
Girl.
Kylie says, my husband's name is Wanak.
Oh, I hope I said that right.
W-A-N-A-K.
He gets Warwick and Moark.
Moark?
That's an upside down,
they're reading in half of the letters upside down.
All kinds of different names.
Sometimes he'll correct them.
My name is Kelsey,
and I will literally allow someone to call me Chelsea all day
because I'm a 29-year-old scared introvert.
That's okay. That's okay.
That's okay. Yeah. So what about spelling? Do you correct someone if they spell your name wrong?
What? No, no, keep going. What happened? No, I just had a memory. A friend of mine,
I'm sure she won't mind. I'll keep it anonymous. But a friend of mine went to therapy and she was having this long therapy session.
At the end, the therapist went,
Sarah, well done.
That's not her name at all.
It's really close to her name.
Oh my gosh, you've been diagnosing somebody else completely.
She just was like, wait, what's happening?
You don't even know me.
Were you listening to me?
As you were.
Do correct someone if they spell your name wrong.
67% of people said, yep, for sure.
I guess it's easier in email.
Literally, your name is on the email.
I always think this when people email me, H-A-L-E-Y,
and I'm like, my email's right there.
Or I get a lot of DMs, as I've mentioned before, in my inbox.
And you're like, hello.
You're messaging me on my page.
You literally can see how to spell it in finding me.
Having the name Philippa, I am forever telling people that I have one L and two P's.
I appreciate when people actually ask me how to spell it.
Also, with my middle name Jane, it's J-A-Y-N-E.
Me too.
You've got a lot of Y's.
You're hung on the Y's, by the way, Hayley Jane.
H-A-Y-L-E-Y is J-A-Y-N-E.
Lots of J's and Y's.
Alex says, I will literally email somebody,
and the goddamn email, it comes up who it's from,
I will always sign off with my name,
and people still spell it wrong.
Danny writes, it's too awkward,
especially if it's in your signature.
So it's in her signature, but she's not going to correct them.
Gabs, which may be short for Gabby,
I normally spell it for them.
So if they misspell it, I will absolutely correct them on it
because they were not paying attention.
Her middle name's Karen.
Amy says, my last name is Hattel.
I tell people it's like cattle with an H.
And someone once wrote cattle, C-A-T-T-L-E-H.
And I thought, what the hell? How did they? I say it Hattel, but they put the H on the end. Cattle, C-A-T-T-L-E-H, and I thought, what the hell?
How did they?
I say it Hattle, but they put the H on the end.
Cattle.
Yeah.
Liam Vanderputen says, oh, dude, bad time for the Putin on the end of the year.
My surname is closely spout to Putin, and yeah, if you make one mistake,
the autocorrect will autocorrect it to Putin.
So just tread light,
especially with your friends like that at this stage.
Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.
And we've mentioned the Border Break competition.
Entries are open today.
It's the last day that you can enter.
So if you've got a friend, a family member,
someone that you haven't seen
because the borders have been shut overseas.
I mean, we had the little Australian bubble for a few weeks, didn't we?
Oh, that was lovely.
I hopped over and came back just in time for it to close.
Well, a lot of people got stuck, didn't they, until just recently?
For a long time, I know.
Yeah.
And so there have been people that haven't seen loved ones for like over two years.
So we're giving you the chance to bring them back.
It's super easy.
Just text border
the border as in the border border
with no A to 9696.
We'll send you back a link. You register
and yeah, we could be contacting you
and bringing home a loved one.
A loved one that you like
love. Not sit in a hotel
room for two weeks to see love, but like
love, love. Love, love.
I'm not paying $3,000 to MIQ, Love.
Love, no.
But I like miss you a bit.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you.
I'll see you now that the borders are open.
Love, love.
Love, love.
Yeah, well, register,
and yeah, we might be in touch very soon.
All right, that's the show today.
Play.
ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.
ZM's $100,000 secret sound.
All right, it's time for our secret sound.
It's all thanks to Neon.
All this week as well, each guest wins a 12-month Neon subscription.
You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz.
T's and C's apply.
Who have we got lined up?
Lined up?
I believe we have a pair.
Good morning, Lewis and wife Heidi.
Good morning, guys.
How are you?
We're so good, thank you.
Fletch has COVID.
Fletch is dating.
I'm not good, Lewis.
I'm not good.
Stop asking.
What a speaker.
Lewis and or Heidi,
have you guys been through the vid yet?
Had COVID yet?
We have, yes.
And Bourne, we're with you, mate.
It's not that great.
Bourne, COVID-free. Don't drag me into this, Lewis.
Lewis, what day is the worst?
I don't believe in the virus, so it can't affect me.
If I get sick, it's the government.
They tried to radiate and poison me and my mates
when we were down in Wellington on our camping trip.
Don't throw that.
Don't throw that.
What day was the worst, Lewis?
Because I'm on day two.
The day after of testing positive.
I had a huge fever and it was just awful.
And then after maybe 24 hours, I started feeling right.
So good on the people.
Oh, that's promising.
Yeah.
That's promising.
Okay.
All right, well, Lewis, let's get down to business.
The secret sound this is at.
Now, you and Heidi have got to guess.
What do you think it is for $50,000?
Soundkeeper Al's, I'm assuming, is there with us.
She is here.
Hello.
Oh, good morning, Al.
Sorry, you're not on my Zoom screen.
I'll turn my camera around.
There she is.
Good morning.
Nice filter.
Looking lovely and green.
So we both think the secret sound is the briefcase lock unlocking.
A briefcase.
Now, Soundkeeper Al's is very young.
I'm not sure if she knows what a briefcase is.
I've seen it in movies.
She's seen it in films.
She's watched Pulp Fiction before.
I've watched old movies like Pulp Fiction.
I've seen those ancient, ancient movies from the 90s.
Yeah, I think Graham has some somewhere.
Graham, Graham.
We're early 20s.
We just get to play with our parents when they get home from work.
Try and unlock it and see what's inside.
Oh, okay. Someone's parents when they get home from work. Try and unlock it and see what's inside. Oh, okay.
Someone's parents are lawyers.
Pretty posh.
I wouldn't go that far, no.
What would you guys do with the 50K?
My thoughts were saving it because everything's going up.
You know, like petrol's going up.
All this is going up.
So we're like, yeah, maybe we'll save it and just see how we go with it, you know?
You're trying to mitigate. I'd probably buy a plane ticket to see his family in the like, yeah, maybe we'll save it and just see how we go with it, you know? You're trying to mitigate inflation.
I'm trying to see a family in the UK.
Oh, definitely.
I love it.
But if you save it, here's how inflation works.
You get $50,000, you save it.
Every day you don't spend it, it's worth less.
How do I get off of that?
You should get it and then just spend it immediately.
Yeah.
I reckon pop over to the UK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll tell you, though, let's not get ahead the UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you though, let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
It's a good guess though, it does sound like it, doesn't it?
That's such a good guess.
Well, Lewis, Heidi?
Yes.
That
is not the secret sound.
No kidding.
Good guess though.
Hey, but we do have that 12-month Neon subscription for you guys
and there is another chance at 8 o'clock for you to have a crack
at Secret Sound, all thanks to Neon.
ZM's $100,000 Secret Sound.
But all thanks to Neon. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. But all thanks to Neon.
Yesterday we had the 100K Thursday.
It didn't go, so we're back down to $50,000
all thanks to Neon.
You can watch TV series and movies
handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon.
Jazz joins us this morning.
Soundkeeper Owls is in with us.
Good morning, Jazz.
Good morning, guys.
How are you?
Good, thank you. Good. Now the secret sound. Fls is in with us. Good morning, Jazz. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good, thank you.
Good.
Now, the secret sound.
Fletch has got COVID.
Oh, yeah, Jazz, we've got COVID.
We don't ask people with COVID how they are.
Yeah, not well.
Because they've got COVID.
Yeah.
Well, I hope you get better soon.
There we go.
Thank you.
There we go.
That's lovely.
Thank you.
Jazz, the secret sound.
Yes.
Day five now. You've had five days to ponder the sound. Yes. Day five now.
You've had five days to ponder the sound.
Yeah, have you gone on the secret sound Instagram?
Yes, I've been following, checking up, doing my research.
Oh, good.
That's what I want to hear.
I want someone who knows what they're doing.
Take it seriously.
Yep.
Okay, I thought last hour the guest, the briefcase click.
Yes.
I thought that was really good.
Yeah, same.
I thought that was a great guest.
Yeah, but you've got COVID, mate.
We can't listen to you.
You've lost your taste.
Your brain is literally shrinking right now.
Yeah, you're riddled with a virus.
That could be the virus speaking, guys.
I thought it was a terrible guest.
Well, it didn't make any sense.
Well, for $50,000, Jazz, what do you think the secret sound is?
So I think it is scrolling on a computer mouse, that little wheel.
I used to love doing that.
God, how noisy is your mouse?
Quite loud.
Not close.
So I'm just scrolling my middle button on the mouse.
It's silent.
It's that silent.
But you're a one percenter.
You're a one percenter.
Yeah, no, but I've got COVID.
I've lost my sense of hearing.
All the senses.
Jazz, have you tried this out yourself then?
Yes, I have actually.
And you've looked at the clues you said,
so you've connected it up.
Yes.
And 50K, a lot of money.
Do you have plans on what you'd do with it?
I'd have to split it with my brother
because he's the one that came up with this theory.
So he better be right.
25K each, not bad.
Still pretty good.
Wow.
And if you don't split it, mum's going to be like,
you split that with your brother.
You give your brother half of that.
Man, she just isn't splitting it with me.
It was my idea.
Sorry, Cartman.
Man, you're a bitch.
Respect my authority.
Jazz?
South Park impressions are up there with Austin Powers impressions for me.
They've done a full round.
They've done a full round.
I'm ready to love them wholeheartedly, non-ironically love them again.
And I do have a question for you.
Thank you, Kenny.
Do I make you horny, baby?
Do I?
You two, we are at the big bit.
I'm so sorry, Jez.
Shag now or shag later.
Shush.
Shush you too.
Thank you.
Silence.
Jazz.
Sorry, Jazz.
Sorry, Jazz.
Jazz.
That is not the secret.
Oh, no, baby.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Groovy, man.
That sucks.
Jazz, no. Oh, my God. That sucks. Jazz, congratulations.
So you do miss out on the cash,
but we do have a 12-month Neon subscription for you.
Well done.
Fantastic.
Thank you, guys.
You can sign up now for your free 14-day trial
at neontv.co.nz.
T's and C's apply.
ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.