ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 19th August 2022

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

*Explicit Intro*Top 6: Dirty Bulk Brah  Hidden Beaches  Silly Little Poll!  Did Marriage ruin your Name?  Final Rankings: Kitchen Utensils  Fletch's BIG Surprise!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. I like you, I do. Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. We've got a really special podcast for you today. Because I teed up a little surprise for Vaughan and Hayley and the nation and you, the podcast listener.

Yeah, it's pretty great. And, wow. There's so many. Vaughan, you're buzzing. I'm buzzing, man. I'm starting to come down, man. I just ate a podcast listener. Yeah, it's pretty great. And wow. There's so many. Yvonne, you're buzzing. You're buzzing. I'm starting to come down, man. I just ate a chocolate fish. I just ate a chocolate fish too to try to help me come down from this high.

And it hasn't helped. I think we should go out for brunch. But that's a side thought. You're an enabler. You're a brunch enabler. We've got a problem. A brunch enabler. A brunch problem.

I just received an email with a letter because this week, did I talk about this on air? No, you didn't. I don't know if I did. I went to a cardiologist because of my long COVID. Can't breathe. Can't breathe properly when I do exercises. And so the doctor referred me.

Have you tried I'm not being a pussy? Yeah. You tried getting off your fucking ass and doing some exercise? Yeah, tried putting down the brunch there Chubs Yeah Yeah No no

This long Yeah It's horrible I know And I know there's people out there Doing worse than me Absolutely But yeah

So when I exercise Like I do Like might go to the gym Or do a gym class I feel like I can't Get the last like 10, 15, 20% of my breath It's like short

Yeah like short And it's horrible. So I said this to the doctor and he's like, well, you go and do a bloody treadmill test at the cardiologist. And I'm like, oh. And then so I've got a letter from him. So they hook you all up? So yeah.

So I went along. They lube up your chest. Tell me more. So they hook those stickers on you. Like I had five or six electrode sticker things. Yeah. And they hook that up to the machine and then they lube me up and they do that thing they do when you're pregnant.

Ultrasound. To see the baby. Yeah. So they ultrasound your heart and they record a little thing of your heart. Good heart? Apparently a great heart. Great heart. This letter basically says great fucking heart.

Great fucking heart. Heart of gold. That's why I'm so charitable. Yeah. Let me read you some. Show me the receipts. Okay, I will. See, these highlighted bits from my email from the cardiologist.

Okay. Carl is a very fit and well old gentleman. 43-year-old gentleman. 43-year-old gentleman. They say gentleman. Yeah, he's a gentleman. Not male. He said gentleman.

43-year-old male. Because I was so lovely at the hospital. You surpassed even the lowest bar of male and you became a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. Fucking hell. He has an excellent... Fucking hell. I don't know why I've become such a potty mouth.

We've got a bloody gentleman over here, boys. It goes on to say he has an excellent exercise capacity. Wow, fit. Good from you. And it goes blah, blah, blah. He is otherwise very fit and well. So fit is a fit or heart of gold. What about your lungs, though?

Well, so that's what he said. That's the fuck. Proper fuck. All those durries. And then this line here, look at that. You see this? This is its own line. Clinically, he is a very athletic looking young man.

A gentle man and a young man. A young gentle man. Yeah, he performed an exercise tolerance test. His exercise capacity is excellent. Wow. He exercised for 17 minutes of The Bruce Protocol. That sounds like a Bourne movie, doesn't it? The Bruce Protocol.

The Bruce Protocol. Sounds like the New Zealand version of a Bourne Automata. The Bruce Protocol. Right, you. It's time for The Bruce Protocol. We've got New Zealand version of a Bourne on tomato. The Bruce Protocol. Right, you. It's time for the Bruce Protocol. We've got a fucking spy around here. Right, grab the fucking double barrel shotgun out of the hot water cupboard. Steve, Craig, grab the.22 rifle and put the scope on it.

We've got some bastard down the back paddock. It's the Bruce Protocol. Yeah, I don't know if that would go well so much at the box office. But yeah, basically ends saying that I have an excellent cardiovascular health and cannot find a cardiac cause for his symptoms. So basically, I did this and he said to me, like, oh, there's nothing wrong with your heart.

You're really fit and healthy. And I'm like, well... And then he said, yeah, you might want to go to a lung person. Whatever they're called. But how do they do it? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

Because there was, I remember a shortness of breath. It sounds crazy that can be caused by the heart, but the heart like pumps away liquid from the lungs, right? It's insane. It was insane. There's like these little flappy bits in your heart. Like the valves. The valves. And you can see them when you breathe, when I was breathing before and after fitness.

It's just going flap, flap, flap, flap. Yeah, because it pumps it out, but it doesn't let it back in. It's like a one-way valve system. It's fucking amazing. I know, it's incredible. Like an airbed. Yeah. You put the air in, but then it doesn't come out

until you release the little thing. Yeah. I was going to say more like a water pump. Yeah, yeah. Isn't it funny how when you go and see these specialists, and you go to that, like a cardiologist or a skin thing or a whatever, and then they tell you that you're perfectly healthy, and that's good news, but you're a little bit disappointed?

Yeah, I was like, what am I making this up? No, yeah. Yeah. But it was good to know that I can do exercise and I'm not straining my heart, that that's all fine. But it's just maybe my lungs are fucked nice too many

too many too many nangs too many nangs he loves a nang you find this guy on the arse end of a balloon most Fridays I haven't done nang

actually I haven't done nangs forever but not definitely not since COVID right well you've never done nangs ever I didn't say I'd never

done nangs ever I said I haven't since you've been in COVID I said I haven't done Nangs post-COVID. Well, imagine if this is caused by Nangs. Oh, God, we're all hanging out tomorrow night. I'll cancel the Nangs order. Well, I was going to use those to whip cream because I'm somewhat of a pastry chef.

Are you bringing a bloody pav for us? I was going to whip up a pav, but now old Nangman doesn't want anything to do with it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hayley Sproul has got a name. I didn't know you had your name on your charger.

Yeah, I'm so sick of people. Always name your chargers. Always name everything you've got. I haven't named that yet. I've got a label maker. Do you have a label maker? It's so good. And also I bought some fabric tape. So you put the fabric tape in

and you can name your, well, marching gear as well. How does it print? But it prints it onto fabric tape. You do the thing and put a bit of heat on it. And you put it on your clothes. So if we go, you know, to Palmy next week, for example. If you leave your jacket lying around.

I'll put my name on it so we don't get confused, our undies and socks, when we do a wash at the laundromat. Because I was the other day, I was thinking I need a label for something. I can't remember what now. You can borrow my label maker. I'd love to borrow your label maker. I'll give it to you tomorrow. Okay. I'm not paying for more tape, though.

I'm only going to use one. No, I'm good for it. You can use my tape. Thank you. Thank you. Coming up on the show today, we've got more cash thanks to HBO's

House of the Dragon. This is out on Monday. This is a prequel to Game of Thrones. Super excited about this. So your chance to win some cash coming up around

eight this morning. The top six is on the way. Yeah. The price of workout supplements in Australia through the roof. Yeah. Not as much here.

It has gone up a little bit, but I guess the fact that we've got such a massive dairy industry, we can get our whey protein and stuff. Totes, bro. I brought some protes bra the other day. Did you bra? And I think it was a little bit more expensive than normal, but not too much. Yeah. But in Australia, it's like double.

You still on the moustache, dude? Nah, bra, I'm's like double. Nah, brah, I'm on the balance. You're on balance. I'm on the balance, brah. Dig deep for your moussachi. So I've got the top six ways to get the dirty bulk. Your gym supplements for Australians. If it's getting too expensive for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's cheaper options out there.

Coming up, we've also got a excuse me, I'm just tripping up the balance. I'm really emotional. I. Coming up, we've also got a... Excuse me. He's emotional. He's emotional. I'm really emotional. I'm emotional about this. We've got a concert announcement coming up around 6.30. We do. This is something for your summer.

It's going to go off. Yeah, something for your summer and something for your Saturdays. So many concerts. You can work that out, I know. My calendar is just concerts. It's good. Yeah, it is good. We're back to normal. I love being in a heaving, I know. My calendar is just concerts. It's good. Yeah, it is good. We're back to normal.

I love being in a heaving, sweating crowd. And I say that earnestly. Yeah. Next on the show, we're going to talk about car buttons. Buttons. Buttons. Car buttons. Buttons in your car. Love them. Some you don't even know what they do. I've got

some. No, what about that one with the skids? You know that button in your car and it's got skids? Your car's doing a skid. What does that one even mean? No one knows. Mine's like your AMR is off or something. I've got a whole bunch. And I just push them every now and then

and see if it changes the driving experience. And does it? I'm just doing some tests and trials of my own. Right. Yes, I was very skinny this morning. Well, I want to talk about buttons because there's a type of button that people prefer in their car. Well, an article has come out about car buttons and how modern cars now, I wouldn't know. Well, you've got a modern, you brought a brand new Suzuki Jimny, didn't you?

Yeah, I don't want to rub it in your face though. Do you have any buttons at the touchscreen? The middle bit. Not like car stuff, it's all stereo stuff. Yeah, that's just entertainment. Yeah, not even fit the fans in old school, like click it on, click it off. You know, she's a utilitarian vehicle, the Jimny. She's out there getting it done, click it off. Mm-hmm. You know? She's a utilitarian vehicle that you meet. She's out there getting it done, you know?

No flashy whiz bangs. Other people would say it's just a basic cheap. Yeah, it is. Well, that's what you mean when you say you've got a utilitarian vehicle. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just got the basics. Right.

Well, a lot of new cars now, full touchscreen controls. So for everything, like your aircon? Well, yeah, a lot do. Yeah, like Tesla have the main center console, don't they? I don't like that. And so somebody's tested all of these cars with touchscreen controls, and they've found that even some of them, it takes longer for people to set something.

Yeah, because you've got to go like, how soft, how hard, how soft do I have to tap it? And then some may take like up to four seconds longer to respond. I don't have time. And the study found that people prefer an actual button in their car. Yeah, I love a button. If you were going to turn the air con on, people want a button or a slider or a dial. There's a primal,

I think there's definitely a primal love of buttons and knobs and stuff because you know when you're like you have the baby you make them the activity boards or you play the thing and it's like click click click click yeah like we just like pushing and flicking and twisting like later on when we get older we're all about the pushing and flicking and twisting. Oh the flicking. Yeah. Yep. Hit the nip. The twist.

Twist the nip. It's not so much for me. Crinkle the neck. Auga. That's how I handle the mythical clitoris. Auga. Auga. Like that.

I'm more of a boop boop. You're a boop boop. Yeah. Flick. Twist. Crinkle. We are talking about car buttons here.

Yeah, I know, but it's all, everything boils down to sex. I'm not going to lie to you. I've been looking into humanity and everything boils down to sex. Everything? Every single thing. You name a thing and I'll tell you how it does.

A tunnel. Are you kidding me? Tunnels? You picked the most sexual thing? Yeah. Okay, making a smoothie. Are you a tunnel or a, that's everybody's, you're a tunnel or. Okay, making a smoothie. Are you a tunnel or a... Everybody's a...

You're a tunnel or a train. Making a smoothie. Oh, that's a good one. That's going to test me. We just like watching something. No, I just had that image of you. Ground into nothing, you know. Pulverize, if you will.

What about putting all your stuff into one thing and mixing it all up? That's sex in a nutshell, isn't it? What about sushi? Mixing it all up. Using wasabi. Wasabi. Kickstarts the old...

Yeah, right. Oh, you sweat. It gets you going, a little bit of an internal thing. You need fuel in the tank for a little bit of You've got to get a nice tight roll as well on the sushi. You do. You've got to tuck it all in. Hard hand work. Tuck, roll,

push, push, push. You've proven everything can be related to sex. Yeah, it is. Fine. Do you want to keep talking about your little car button? No, I've kind of covered that off actually. You've ruined my car button study. I don't like when a car doesn't have a gear stick. If it is a manual and you change it in some other way, like...

Oh, yeah. Do you know what's worse is the park brakes that are just buttons. Oh, flicks. I take that. Same. I like the click, click, click, click, click. I want to just... Prank.

It's that knowing that you've just. I never put them on if they're little buttons. I find you put it into park and you stop. But if there's a handbrake you put into park, then that goes up as well. I also drive with my hand either around the, so this also is like sex, either around the handbrake or on the gear stick, even though I'm driving an auto. You've always got to be touching a knob or a handle. You've got to be touching a knob or a.

Yeah, again. Crank? Yeah, sure. All right, 12 past six, next on the show. Cheap Netflix is on the way, and some details have been revealed. I don't think people are going to be happy about this. They're not, no.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So we talked recently about the announcement Netflix made that they're going to have an ad-supported, cheaper version. Yeah, Disney Plus are doing this too. So you pay less, but you get ads. Yes. Like you're watching TV or something. Or is it that you pay what you pay now?

Because I know Disney Plus, you're going to pay what you pay now, but then if you want the premium, you're going to pay a bit more. What? They charge me more. Yeah. It goes up like every six months. Anyway, whatever. So, yes, that's their new little launch, I guess, ad-supported plan launching early next

year. Yeah. And people were like, ah, fine. You know, times are tough. We're going to save a bit of money. I can have a couple of ads. But they've just released some new details of this version of it, the cheap Netflix.

And people are not happy about one detail, which is that you won't be able to download to your devices, your iPad or your phone. So you won't be able to watch it on a plane if you're on cheap Netflix. Or on bad Wi-Fi or whatever. Yeah. You won't be able to download to your devices. And people're on cheap Netflix. Or on bad Wi-Fi or whatever. Yeah. You won't be able to download to your devices. And people are like, no, but that's one of the best things about it.

The classic airport panic on your iPad or phone. Quickly, quickly. Like, oh, God, God, I've got nothing. Download. Yeah. On the airport Wi-Fi trying to download one episode. That's always so slow. I just flick it to the company's 5G on the old phone.

Oh, so do I. I use a bit of the company plan to get that guy. Yes, so do I. I use it up and then I order more. But yeah, people are not happy about it. I guess you have to if you're releasing a more expensive version. You've got to make the cheaper one.

And that would be the premium feature. Premium. Right. You've got to make the cheaper one bad. Yeah. Because ultimately you want everyone on the expensive one. That's how money is made. Because you wouldn't be able to watch the ads if you're offline, right? Ah. Ah.

Ah. So that's. He solved a mystery. So that's why they've done it. So that's what they're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you couldn't just go, I hate the ads. I'll download it.

And then flick it to airplane mode. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then get around that. So you just won't be able to do that. Interesting. Clever, clever, clever. But then I was thinking about this the other day. Remember when you were in your flat and you were like,

and I never had this in any of my flats because we could never afford it but if you had sky yeah how much were you paying for the basic package a month i want to say 60 dollars oh i thought it was more like 80 but then if you had movies and then you had sports you could easily easily be paying $112 a month, right? Oh, absolutely. $120. Yes, Your Honour, that is correct. So when you think about that, we're still paying less. I know, but you don't get sports. Even if you have a couple of apps, you know what I'm saying? I've got them all.

So say you have Neon and you have Disney and you have Netflix. VIPbox.tv. What's that? It's where you'll find your sports. Oh, right, okay. Ah. Probably. What's that? It's where you'll find your sports. Oh, right. Okay. Ah. Probably.

It's probably illegal. Yeah, maybe. But with your Spark Sports, it depends on what you're getting. That's like $20, $24 a month. You can buy a sports subscription. Yeah. Can you buy it just for Pacific Sports?

I only want to watch rugby league, and then you can watch just the rugby league. Yeah, and I think Sky, you can just watch an all-black's game. Because at NBA, you can buy just an... You can do it through an NBA app. Yeah, I've got the NBA app. NBA app. And Aaron's got the Formula One account.

Oh, yeah. But, I mean, it all adds up. But I'm saying that I think we're still paying less than if you just had Sky back in, you know, the 2000s. Yeah, but is there a Cartoon Network subscription you can pay? I don't know. Because that's... YouTube's got more than enough. That's just YouTube, yeah. but is there a Cartoon Network subscription you can pay? I don't know. Just YouTube's got more than enough. That's just YouTube, yeah.

And is there a Juice TV subscription? I don't know. I don't think so. Well, no, I'm still going to get Sky then. Okay, right. Is there a history channel? You do you, Mum. Can you do a package of Cartoon Network Juice TV?

Sky One. Sky One. Sky One. Sky One after midnight. Yes, I like their late night documentary. I only want it to click in about 11.30. I think you should just check into some motel in Tikawiti with Sky. And you could have a spa as well. You could have a spa and then you could just watch all of your...

Well, I wonder if I could just get an Emmanuel Forever subscription. Yeah, read your diaries. Or Emmanuel in Paris. I don't know which one I prefer. Emmanuel Forever. Oh, Emmanuel Forever. The top six is next. The top six ways to get your protein hit if you're in Australia. Play ZM's Fletch

Vaughan and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. Gotta feel feeling out there from Australian gym brothers this morning. Shit, mate. Shit, mate.

Costa Living Crisis has more than doubled protein and gym supplements in the last 12 months. Double? Shit, man. You know, I've got... We all know someone

that's moved to Australia, don't we? But I tell you what, they're probably regretting it now when gym proats his double bra. They've gone all skinny. Skinny. Yuck.

One KG bag of whey protein isolate currently costs $43 from bulk nutrients and $73 at fellow retailer True Protein. It's doubled. Is that doubled? It's doubled. Oh, okay. I bought some recently and... I can tell.

It was only, maybe it had gone up like five or, you know, inflation-wise, five to seven percent, but not double. Because I'm imagining we get our whey protein from here. Yeah, we've got cows. If your protein is made here in New Zealand, I do the balance. I think that's New Zealand. Yeah, I used to get mine from Australia, and I just looked, and it is more expensive,

but not quite double. But mine's New Zealand made. I go nude, but I'm pea, pea protein. Pea protein? Yeah. It's like methamphetamine. So a little bit of pre-workout and post-workout. Pre-workout, but also post, yeah.

Wait, they milk a pea? They milk a pea. They milk a pea for protein? Yeah, they juice its little teats and get the whey out. Wait, they milk a pea? They milk a pea. They milk a pea for protein. Yeah, they juice its little teats and get the way out. Get the protes out. Get it out there. So I've got the top six alternative proteins

in these tough times. Yeah. Number six, the humble kumara. Big protein energy in the kumara and also currently very well priced. $2.39 a kilogram for kumara? Are you kidding me? I would have thought that would have been, I love the kumara. Is there? And also currently very well priced. $2.39 a kilogram for kumara? Are you kidding me? I would have thought that would have been...

I love a kumara. I would have thought that would have been more carbs than protein. Well, there's carbs, but there's also protein. Okay. There's a lot of protein. Way more than a spud. Yeah. Okay.

Way more than a spud. That's another tick in the box for kumara. Yeah, but if you had 100 grams of kumara, you're looking at 1.6 grams of protein. Oh, have you done your research? That's a terrible... And 20 grams of carbohydrates. Nah, turns out I might not have... I just read it on the list.

I just read it on the list of foods you can eat to really up your protein. So you're just going to list things that have some protein in them? Well, no, I've got the breakdown of the next one. Okay. Okay, so the next one, number five on the list of the top six ways to get that gym supplement in these tough times is the McDonald's McDouble.

Oh, yeah. Seamless mention of the show sponsor as well. Yeah, yum. Per serving, 400 calories. Yeah. 20 grams of fat. 33 grams of carbs. Yeah.

Two grams of fiber. Yeah. Seven grams of sugar and 22 grams of protein. Yes. There we go. There's a serving of protein. There we go. That's a dirty bowl.

Yeah. Yum. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get that gym supplement in these tough times. Number four, eggs. Yeah. Lots of protein in eggs and even more so in goose eggs. Oh. Really?

I haven't seen those at the supermarket. No, nip down to Western Springs or your local park. One goose egg contains 20 grams of protein. That's a single goose egg. That's so much. A couple of those in the shake, my brothers. Yeah. And we'll be doing it.

Duck eggs, one duck egg contains nine grams of protein, so half the protein. What's a normal egg? Like a size seven? Chicken eggs. Your average one has... Okay, so this nutritional comparison of the same size duck egg and chicken egg. Duck will rock 12 grams. Chicken will rock 10.

So 10's less. Oh. Yeah, but I have like three for breakfast. Emus. They're quite yuck. How much protein is in an emu egg? 15% of the entire egg. Oh, bruh.

That's a big, that's a big old amount of protein there. What about alligator? Alligator eggs? I mean, good luck going to a swamp to fish out an alligator egg. Bro, no one said getting the bass was going to be easy. No pain, no gain. Do alligators lay eggs? Yeah.

Wow. Are they reptiles? Of course. Yeah. How much protein? No one knows because they've never been able to get one. Yeah, there is a... No scientist wants to venture...

Gator eggs. Or food technician wants to venture that close. Oh, some people call avocados gator eggs, as it turns out. Right. High in protein, low in fat. Oh, that sounds perfect. Sounds like the perfect egg, doesn't it? Oh, yeah.

Ah, I might start a free-range alligator farm. I can't see a problem with that. With a little cafe with alligator scramble. Yes. You can pick your own. Yeah. Come pick your own eggs. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get that protein hit in these tough times.

Insects. Oh, yes. Cricket flour. That is flour made from ground up crickets. Yeah. Has 69 grams of protein per 100 grams. Oh, wow. So you can make...

That is 69%. Nice. You can make some nice fritters. Oh, yeah. Basically, this is the way forward, eh? Eating crickets and stuff instead of... Instead of proteins. Instead of meats.

I could easily eat crickets like popcorn. Yeah. Deep fried. They are so yum. We had them in Cambodia. Yeah. Yeah, yum as. And if it's. We had them in Cambodia. Yeah. Yeah, yum as. And if it's a flour,

you can't taste it. So if you were going to make an omelette with the alligator eggs, a fritter rather, and chuck in some cricket flour. Dude. Dude. You'll be jacked.

Dude, and chuck into there. Number two on the list. Add these to your fritter. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get your gym supplement in these tough times.

Barnacles. Barnacles. Like on the side of a top six ways to get your gym supplement in these tough times. Barnacles. Barnacles. Like on the side of a ship. Correct. Gooseneck barnacles do not look or sound appetizing, but the Spanish and Portuguese love them. And have you seen our hot Spanish and Portuguese? Oh, they're so hot. Extremely hot.

Never been an ugly one. Exactly. Sit down. Sit down. But they're very popular. Similar in texture to an octopus, apparently. A complete protein. And nutritionally, you would compare it to a lobster, a shrimp,

or other crustaceans. 17 grams of protein per 60 grams. So that's a full. I wonder if we could get close enough with a chisel to a fuller's ferry. Get a couple of barnacles this weekend. Go down with that dry dock. When I get car, when she's going to couple of barnacles this weekend. Go down when they're dry docked. When I get car way and she's going to Waiheke this weekend, just hang off the side of the fullers.

You get a friend to grab your feet and you get a little knife. Just grab a couple of, oh, but you're vegan. I think after a couple of wines I could do that. Do that. Thank you. And then get some off the wharf. Just bring home some proats for us, brah. And then would you put the barnacles in your smoothie in the morning

with like a banana and stuff? Well, you could do it. You put them in that fritter. Put them in my fritter. I'm making a fritter. Shoot, that's going to be one hell of a fritter bra. This could be a steak to go with the fritter. Number one on the list of the top six ways to get that gym supplement

in these tough times. Horse. No, Carmen wasn't listening. I was just trying to get a reaction there. Horse. Apparently, horse is not only carried, but also fueled armies of Central Asia. You think of your Mongolian warlords and your warring factions of Persians invading Greece.

They just had a Genghis Khan buffet, didn't they, when they got there? They would, and they'd eat the horses. They'd eat their horses. That's so mean. Like, hey, thanks for carrying us here, horse. By the way, we're about to stir-fry you. Oh, that'd be nice, though. You don't tell your horse you're going to stir-fry them.

That's when they start acting up. Oh, right. Take one horse for a little walk. But apparently wild protein in horse meat. Really? Okay. It'd be heaps to go around as well. Yeah.

You'd stock up the freezer and stuff. Horse meat. Per 100 grams of meat, which isn't a huge amount of meat, 28 grams of protein. Oh, that's a massive protein. I'm going to hit the wild horse. And then when people

at the gym are like, brah, what are you using? I'll be like, wild horse meat. Horse and crickets. Stallion. I just hang around the races until one falls over

and breaks his leg and just before they're about to shoot it, I'll be like, wait a minute! I'll take that. Thank you. And it's today's top six.

I've got the list of top hidden beaches of the world. Okay. Now this was compiled using Instagram actually, how many people had sort of tagged them and photos of them and whatnot, voted for them. So what makes it a hidden beach that it's not your usual? Yeah, it's not on the side of the road. You can't drive up to it.

You can't drive up to it. You've got to find it. Yep. This is the thing with these hidden beaches, though. Slowly but surely, they become, it's like Ko Pipi, you know, where the beach was filmed. And now you can't go there anymore because you ruined it. Haven't they opened it up again?

When I was there, it was closed for repair and they were trying to let things grow back and get rid of all the rubbish from human rubbish. Good one, Leonardo DiCaprio. And he takes his private jet everywhere. I wonder if he even does care about the environment. I wonder too. I wonder as well.

So I'm going to give you the top 12 because number 12 is one of my favourites. Koh Lanta in Thailand. Little island. Oh, it's gorgeous. We went in the off season. Oh, okay. Koh Lanta. It's you fly into Krabi, which is a little hub that you can fly to lots of places from.

Would you say that's a hidden beach? Yeah, they've got... That's further out than the rest of the coast, right? You've got Kocimu, you've got Kopenyang. You've really got to make an effort to go there. It's hard to get there. You fly in and then you catch a boat and then get a car and da-da-da-da. Right. Then there's Sandbank

at number 11, Sandbank Beach in Mozambique. Okay. Sandbank Beach. Yeah. Ocracoke in US in North Carolina. Okay. Jcracoke in US, in North Carolina. Okay. Jervis Bay in Australia, New South Wales. Vattersea Beach in Scotland. Scotland's got a...

Oh, Scotland can't make the list of beaches. Vattersea Beach, Scotland. It's going to be bloody cold and miserable the whole time. Yeah, it looks like shit. Is it stony? I'd imagine it would be stony. Oh my God, I actually, I take that back. It's white sand and it looks absolutely stunning.

In Scotland? Yeah, it's, okay, it's kind of gorgeous. It's gorgeous. Look at this, it's like low-lying, rolling pastures all around it. Oh, yeah, get a beach like that everywhere around New Zealand. Oh no, we're spoiled, bud. It's my absolute dream. It would be my dream on country calendar.

I love the farms that run down to the beach. Oh, yeah, okay. And they're like, oh, yeah, we've got this little situation going on down here. And I'm like, you pass. All the flats. Oh, that's cute. Number seven is Batibo Beach in Dominica in Hampstead. I mean, look, I don't know these, but I'm leading somewhere.

Koapia Beach in Hawaii. That makes sense that would be there. Number five, Sandwood Bay in Scotland. Again, another beach from Scotland. What the hell? But number four. Here we go. To Taranui Beach in Tasman, New Zealand. Yeah, I? But number four. Here we go. To Taranui Beach in

Tasman, New Zealand. Yeah, I've looked this up. It's gosh, yes, it's not easy to get to. How do you get there? I'm imagining you fly into Nelson, you drive out through Mochueka, you go over the Takaka Hill

and then when you get to, maybe you turn at Takaka and go in through there. So it's past, it's part of Abel Tasman? Yeah. Oh, it's telling me there's currently floods there, so we're not actually going to be able to go. Yeah, no, so it's part of the Abel Tasman walk, isn't it? By the looks of it.

Yeah. Oh, there's a road to it. Autumn Farm Gay Accommodation. Do you think that's gay as in homosexual, gay as in like 1930s happy accommodation? I think probably either, to be honest. Yeah. Wow, it does look beautiful, doesn't it?

Okay, well, so we're on the list. We're on the list of number four. Dude, dude, okay, so more on Oram Farm. Yep, okay. The upcoming, they've got the Radical Fairy Spring Gathering. That's to be announced the perfect date. Summer Camp from December through to January. Naked Week, 21st of January to the 29th of January.

Although it's very sunburny. World naked bike ride happening on the 5th of November. That's also Guy Fawkes, so watch your diddles and your fannies on the sparklers. Yeah, but where does that go? I couldn't ride a bike without anything. Our guests are mostly gay and bi men, but we also welcome queer-friendly folk naturists and pansexuals.

Oh, my God, let's go. Number three is Lapite Beach in Bulgaria. Number two is Cala Golorizze in Italy. And number one is Shelter Cove in California, United States. Yeah, but where does Autumn Farm fit on this list? It's not on it. Well, it should be. But, hey, we're number four, so that's like

that's, we're like that. We're number four. We've done good, guys. And we've got those kind of beaches. Everywhere? Everywhere. Everywhere. What's the main one? Newchamps. You can't drive there, you've got to climb over the rocks. Oh yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a Coromandel.

Ooh, yeah, baby. New Chums is good, man. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Well, today's silly little poll is very one-sided, very resounding yes. Are you tired? 95% of people are currently tired.

Is it something about this week? Is it the weather? You know, there's floods everywhere. It's just miserable. Something's in the air this week. It's definitely this time of the year where you're just like CBF with everything. CBF and also I just want to eat. And then your best, for some reason

at this time of year, your best intentions to get an early night never come through. You're like, oh my god, I'm ready for bed. It's quarter to eight. I might just watch something. Yeah. Or I might just do something to get me through to eight and then it ends up taking you through to nine and then your routines all bug it up. Yeah. I just want to

sit and be left alone. Do you not want us to come around tomorrow? No, I want you to come around tomorrow. Is this your way of uninviting us? You were talking about recharging by socialising. Yeah, I am. I'm going out tonight and tomorrow. That's how you do uninviting us? You were talking about recharging by socialising. Yeah, I am. I'm going out tonight and tomorrow.

And that's not at all like normal. That's not how I recharge. I'm going to do two recharges. I'm going to have a little sleep and then I'm going to go out tonight. Can you do a weekend long float tank? Shoot, you get pruney. You get very pruney. They just feed you through a tube, but you have to also wee in there.

You've got a spa pool, don't you? Mm-hmm. Why don't you just put the lid on? Get a shower with doom. I can make a lid. No mask, no mold, no condensation. And then just kind of hot box yourself with steam. Just step down on the floor.

It's actually a hot idea. So some messages in, and some feedback from the Are You Tired 95% poll today. Shelby says, I don't think I've slept a full eight hours since 1998. Yeah. Dude. Dude. Don't have kids.

She might not have kids. She's got big kid energy. Yeah. People who have kids don't sleep, right? Not as much. Yeah. Yeah. Laura says, I started a new job this week and my brain is full.

Oh, yeah. Well, wasn't that a study like two weeks ago? We found out we're all like, ha! Like, doing a job that uses your brain leaves you as emotionally tired as a physical job. Yeah. So, you know, you feel as tired at the end of the day. Victoria says, the bloody wind kept me awake last night. No, you know, you feel as tired at the end of the day. Victoria says, the bloody wind

kept me awake last night. No, that's not tired. I love, but I love hearing stormy and rainy and windy. It's on the roof. It's so good. One night not getting

enough sleep, to me, that doesn't quantify as tired anymore. Yeah. That's, I had a bad night's sleep. Yeah.

Molly says, adulting is both more tough and more exhausting than anybody mentioned it. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. You know, it's a very fair call there, Mol. Molly?

Mol? Yeah, I don't think that's great. Mol Moles? Mol Moles. Vicky said, I wasn't tired until I read the word tired and now I am tired. Sorry. You planted that idea in your head there, Vicky. Apologies for that.

Renee says, no, I'm not tired. One of the few. One of the few. You're lucky, Renee. But we did have a yawning emoji in the story that asked if you were tired, and she said the yawning emoji made her yawn. Right. There's Hayley's yawning.

Who of you said yawn? No, you sent me off. It's contagious. I'm a psychopath. Is it people who don't yawn when you yawn are a psychopath? A psychopath, yeah. Adam says, I'm tired, but I'm also a dairy farmer. I totally get that.

Yeah. Yeah, I totally get that. I don't think I've ever known my father to be like anything other than tired. Yeah. How are you, Dad? I'm good. Tired, but good. It's like with these hours. Same with dairy hours.

People are always like, you must get used to it. You never get used to it. You just get used to being tired. You're right. Doing this job is just as hard as being a dairy farmer. You're right. Tell that dairy farmer we absolutely sympathise. Here we are out in the wild weather outside. And Tim says, I'm a career firefighter.

We are overworked undervalued and walking away from a job we love for one hour tomorrow from 11 till 12 that's today that would have come in yesterday

so they walk off today yeah yeah today we hope nothing happens but we are at breaking point with no options to get across how dire the situation is for us and it always blows my mind

they don't pay like our emergency first responders like the big bucks like they're the people that save us well hopefully this protest yeah They made our emergency first responders enough. They're the people that save us. Well, hopefully this protest changes some of that.

New trucks. I've seen some of the... Again, it's like when the nurses strike. It's not all about money. It's about safe working conditions. If I was a firefighter, I'd want the airport fire trucks. I don't know why they're so... Dude, yeah. They're way cooler.

They're way cooler. They're way cooler. The yellow ones? Yes. What, like a fluoro yellow? Yes. And they're square. Just sexy. Badass.

I bet firefighters get a little bit of a stiffy when they go to the airport. Oh, yeah. Like I do. I'm not even a firefighter. Yeah. That's good stuff. Get your chub on.

Oh, Vaughn. My on. Oh, Vaughan! My God. Okay, Vaughan at five minutes to six this morning was, I might say something rude online to get cancelled so I don't have to work today. Is this what you're doing? I said I want a day off work. I'm going to try to get myself cancelled today. I don't think getting your chub on at the airport is going to get me cancelled.

Okay, seven o'clock is going to be cleaner than six o'clock. Yeah, apologies, apologies. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A celebrity is getting married. This is going to break a few hearts, isn't it? Because this was a teen heartthrob. Absolute heartthrob. Not my type. He's too

clean. You know what I mean? He's too well-groomed and showered for my liking. Taylor Lautner is getting married. He proposed to his fiancée, whose name is Taylor, and she has announced that she will be taking his last name, thus making Taylor Lautner's wife Taylor Lautner. And it really made me giggle.

Taylor squared. Taylor squared. So when there's, like, mail in the letterbox, you'll literally be like, which Taylor is it? Are they spelt the same way? Yep, spelt the same. You hope that it will be formalized.

A Ms. Or a Mrs. Or a Mr. But anyway, this really, really made me laugh about, you know, when you love someone and you want to get married.

And if you're that way inclined, you know, you're often presumed to take the last name. You don't, you might not have a choice in it. Yeah. And you might be taking a bad last name. And then you're just like, oh, no. Yes, and you go, okay, I will be a Coburn, you know?

Well, we work with a Coburn, don't we? Yeah, but the way they spell it's funny. Because nobody ever says it Coburn. No one says Coburn. They say it the way it's spelt. Yeah, yeah. So this is what I wanted to ask this morning. Did marriage ruin your name?

If you took the last name of your newly husband or wife or whatever, did you take their name and did it ruin your name? So if you get married, are you going to take your? No. Because you don't want to be Hayley Courtesy. Hayley Courtesy. You want to stay Hayley Sproul. Well, I just, Hayley Sproul is like, I don't know.

It's great. It's good. It's a good name. But I did find out on the weekend. So we're engaged, obviously. But Aaron's youngest brother is getting married this year. And they're it before us. So we're going to be the last.

And I found out that my sister-in-law, who's marrying Aaron's youngest brother, is taking the name, as have all the other wives of the Courtesy. Oh, okay, yeah, right. So you're going to be the problem. So I'm going to be the only non-Courtesy in the family. But you've kind of got an excuse

because it's like a stage name for you, you though as well, isn't it? Yeah. I think to Aaron he could take mine. It's like when a newsreader changes their last name or a movie star. You're like, no, I know you as something else. Kardashian West. You're like, get a grip. It's Kardashian. Or a girl you went to school with that you

haven't seen since school all of a sudden pops up on Facebook with a different name and you're like, no, I won't respect that. Yeah decision yeah yeah yeah that's not who you are I'm going to regard you I'm going to call you what you were called when you were 15

forever it's more that I'm like who is this Facebook friend yeah I don't know this person and then I'm like oh they changed their name nice good for them

my other sister-in-law Erin's only sister she's Teresa but you call her Treza yeah you know quickly and they used to always laugh at her

when they were kids and saying Treza Green yeah Treza Green and now she's married she her Treza, you know, quickly. And they used to always laugh at her when they were kids and saying Treza Green. Yeah. Treza Green. And now she's married. She's Treza Brown. Treza Brown. Well, they are in autumn.

She married a different colour. Yeah, she did. She couldn't find a green. She found a lovely brown. So do you only want to take calls from people whose names have been ruined or do you want to take people from that names got better? Yeah, I mean, sure.

If you ditched a terrible name that your parents cursed you with and you were more than happy to, we want to hear about it. Okay, well, 0800 DANCE at M is the number. Give us a call right now. You can text as well, 9696. Did marriage make or break your name?

We want to talk about when marriage made or broke your last name. Taylor Lautner's fiance is going to take his last name, and her name is Taylor, so she's going to be Taylor Lautner. So there'll be two Taylor Lautners. So Taylor Lautner's wife will be Taylor Lautner. Yeah. And it really made me laugh. There are some great texts coming in.

When did marriage ruin? Or make your name better? Yeah. Maybe it made it more rhymey and funnier? Yeah, I always wanted to marry a Bailey. Hayley Bailey. Hayley Bailey. Hayley Bailey, what my mum used to call me when I was a kid.

Hayley Bailey. Hayley Bailey. Fletch, any marriages on your horizon? No. No. Schnarl. Imagine if I... Carl Schnarl. Schnau. Imagine if I... Carl Schnau.

Carl Schnau. Okay, well I won't marry any Germans. Is that a German name? Sounds German. Schnau. Holly, good morning. Hello, good morning. Good. Did marriage ruin your name or make it better? It's ruined a girlfriend's name, a friend of ours' name.

So her original surname was one that we grew up all wanting to have because we thought it was a nice surname. It was Beasley. Oh, that's good. Sounds posh. And she

got rid of that for Asman. Asman. Asman. Asman. How's it spelt? A-S-S-A-M-E-N. Oh, no. So A-S-S-M-E-N. Instead of A-N, we like to change it around,

so we give a shit about it. And all the invites, we change it so it says Assman. Assman. You're meant to say it Assman, so it sounds like Assman. Yeah, right. Oh, but it's spelt Assman, isn't it? I'll go back to say ass man. Ass man. So it's like ass man. Yeah, right. Oh, but it's spelt ass man, isn't it? I'll go back to Beasley. Okay.

I'm going to go back to Beasley. Yeah. But you've got to do the traditional thing, don't you? Well, if that's what you believe. You grow up. Yeah. You grow up your whole life wanting your last name changed and some girls just really despise, you know,

having to be called that for so long and then, woohoo, let's change it. And unfortunately, you don't get to pick that. Could you hyphenate Beasley Assman? No. Assman Beasley. No, yeah, maybe. It's still Assman.

Kylie, thanks for your call. Holly, did marriage ruin your last name or make it better? Morning, guys. Good morning. Mine got better. So I used to be Holly Babe as in pig. Babe. Babe as in, like, you to be Holly Babe as in pig. Babe. Well, that's an actual...

Babe as in like, you're a babe as well, though. Positives. But that's an actual last name. Yes, yep. I've never heard that. So I got married when I was 20, so I could change it for the better. So now I'm Chapman. Oh, Chapman's great.

Holly Chapman. Holly Chapman is a fantastic name. You should be a lawyer. I've never heard of that name. Babe. Hayley Babe. Hayley Babe. Oh, I love it.

I love that. Yeah. I'll take Babe. I'll take Babe. Wow. I've got a brother and he has to stick with it for his whole life. Oh, what's his first name? I'm Eastern.

Eastern Babe. Eastern Babe. That's cool. He sounds like he's from East Asia or something. He's an Eastern babe. He's an Eastern babe. He's not a Western babe. Amazing.

Holly, thanks for your call. Sheila, this is your friend. Yeah, my friend in the UK went to school with her. Her name was Heather Jackson. Yeah. And she married Dave Heather. She's Heather Heather. She did. She took his name. She's Heather Heather.

She did. She took his name. She is Heather Heather or Heather Square. I love that. Is she constantly explaining to people on the phone when they're like, what's your name? She's like, Heather. And then they're like, what's your last name? Heather.

They're like, no, no, I heard you. What's your last name? Heather Heather. Possibly before. They've been married about 30 years now. So I don't suppose it really bothers her that much. Heather Heather. I love that. I think bothers her that much. Neither, neither. I love that. It's so fun.

Yeah, I love that. Brilliant. Sheila, thanks. You called some messages in. Somebody else in that same situation. Our family name is Francis, and my dad just got engaged to a lady called Frances, who's intent on taking our name,

and her name will be Frances Francis. Frances Francis. Frances Francis. Someone said, I work with a lady whose name was Jo, short for Josephine. She got married and their last name is King. So now her name is Jo King. Oh, Jo King.

And she's like, I'm Jo King. And they're like, you've got to be Jo King. And she said, yes, I am. That's me. She'd hear that all the time. That's absolutely me. There's a Hannah Hanna out there as well as a Heather Heather. Oh, okay. There's a Hannah Hanna out there as well as a Heather Heather. Oh, okay.

There's a Hannah Hanna. I knew someone whose first name was Yolanda, and when they got married, their family's last name was Plane. Not spelt like aeroplane, but said like aeroplane. Okay. Yolanda Plane. Yo. Yolanda Plane.

Yo fly plane, Yolanda Plane. Yo. Yolanda Plane. Yolanda Plane. Yolanda Plane. Somebody said a girl at work's name was Jennifer Penis. No, get out. Jenny Penis? You think that's someone who's full of P-E-N-S? No, someone is joking and you've read that out. P-E-N-U-S. Penis. Pernas. No, someone is joking and you've read that out. P-E-N-U-S. Penis.

Penis. No, someone's joking and you've read that out. So, Penis family history, family crest and coat of arms. It's a legit name. Yep. Oh. Yep. You'd have to go with the middle name.

Ned lived near a cliff or a rocky patch of land. Ancient records reveal the name Penis is derived from the Spanish word Piena, which means rock, crag or cliff. Okay. Wow, okay. So there you go. Okay, I'm sorry we laughed at you, Mrs. Penis. Is there a mis...

Paging passengers, Penis? Penis. Penis to the plane, please. I do not own a dog. I've never owned a dog. We're team cat, eh? We're team cat. Yeah. But, Vaughn, you own three dogs.

Correct. Four dogs. Three dogs. Three dogs. Three dogs. Three dogs. Two cats at last count. At last count. A couple of cows, some goats and some chickens.

Three chickens. There are three chickens now. Yeah, the chickens are dwindling. Well, we're talking animals in the bed, so nobody's sleeping with a chicken. I hope not. I bet there is. Absolutely, there would be, eh?

In America somewhere. In the middle of America. Chickens are chill as long as it's dark. They're chill. So if you're sleeping in a dark room. Yeah, they do. They poop where they perch.

So, yeah. Well, this study was conducted I would say by an unqualified source. Okay. It doesn't matter. It's fun.

It's a bit of fun. They asked a lot of people you know, whether they sleep with their dog, what kind of dog they had, you know, whether they sleep with their dog, what kind of dog they had, you know, which kind of dogs ruined their sleep. And it rendered a top 20 dogs to not share a bed with. I'll give you the top 10.

Number 10 of the dogs you don't want to be sleeping next to, Dalmatians. Oh. Are these just all big dogs? They're not all big Why? Because short hair I would have thought They would have been

One of the okay ones They're not like a big But they're big They're huge Yeah You cuddle them for warmth So there is a few that Like a lot of it

Comes down to size Or whether or not They're super hairy Yeah And they're too hot Yeah And that kind of stuff What about the breathy?

It doesn't seem Yeah Constantly worried It was choking and that kind of stuff. What about the breathy? It doesn't seem... That would be horrible. I'm constantly worried it was choking. It also sounds like my cat. Yes. So number 10, Dalmatian. Number nine, the golden retriever.

I would imagine that's a hair issue. You go... And you just get a mouthful of golden retriever hair. Golden retriever. And also they're huge. Like that on the bed. Big beds. If there's two of you already. Yeah. Number eight, the Irish Wolfhound.

Oh, because it's one of the biggest dogs in the world. Yeah, we just have a little looky. They're rad looking dogs. Oh, they're so cute. They look like what you would see patrolling like a haunted castle on behalf of its vampiric owner. They are cool. Are they cool like

cool dogs to own? Yeah, they are great personalities. But like Great Danes, they don't live for a long time. They're one of those giant dog breeds that just doesn't live forever. Look at them, massive. Do you think Aaron would suit? Because I know Aaron really, really wants a dog. He would suit. He'd have to have a big dog.

He'd have to have your Great Danes, your Tabetian Mastiff. Yeah, our Irish Wolfhound. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, that would literally need its own queen-size bed, that dog. Number seven, following in those footsteps, the Great Dane. Big, big. Big, big dog. Number six, similar, I guess, to the Golden Retriever, the Labrador.

Lots of hair. Yeah, and they're so energetic, and I guess they're just like. Number five, the German Shepherd. Long hair. Long hair. Long hair, energy-wise. And it might wake up in the middle of the night and think you're a prisoner on the run and bite you. Yeah.

Across the face. Hard to shake that. Now, this one's going to need a Google for me. Number four, the Doberman Pinscher. That's like the other... You know how the Nazis had two types of dogs? They had the German Shepherd and the Doberman Pinscher. And it's got the cute little pointy ears.

No, they cut those ears like that. That's not how their ears are. That's right. What the hell? You see someone with pointy Doberman ears, they've cut them to be like that, and that's a no-no. That's a big no-no. Cancelled.

Yeah, quite a rad-looking dog, but definitely like an intimidating guard dog. But not one you want on your bed. Nah, game. Okay. Wasting the middle of the night. Oh, yeah, the RSPCA. Thanks for your escape want on your bed. Nah, game. Okay. Wait till the middle of the night. Think you're escaping from the prisoner of war camp.

Yeah. The RSPCA says that it's painful and completely unnecessary to chop the ears. Don't do that. Ow, ow. So that was number four.

I didn't know this was a dog. Number three, the Leonberger. Massive, huge, really cute. Like a little bit St. Bernard-y. Are they the ones

With the barrels Around their neck Saint Bernard's Oh okay Leon Burger's The French version Of a Saint Bernard Basically

Oh big big But again Batehoven-y Fluffy Batehoven was a Saint Bernard too God guys Wake up to dog breeds

You cat people Yeah we are Sorry Number two The Japanese Akita. Oh, yeah, they're cute. They're like, they... But are they massive as well?

No, I don't think they are massive. Oh, they're medium sized. You know when you watch videos of Japanese dog grooming? Yeah. It's those. So would that be a hair issue again? It's a little bit Shiba Inu-ish. Oh, yeah, okay.

I know you know what a Shiba Inu is. Yeah. It's a little bit like that. That was the famous dog that waited at the train station for its master to come back from war and he never came and now there's a little statue of him. He was a Japanese dog. And is that a Dogecoin dog or is that a Shiba?

I think it's a Shiba. Okay, right. Before I give you number one, why is there tripods being set up? Is this for your surprise? This is for my surprise after eight. I said it's a surprise. I said it's a surprise you will like.

I didn't wear makeup today. I just, I'm tired. We also didn't lose those 10 kgs I wanted. Are we getting hair and makeup in? No, we're not. I did minimal effort today because I thought I could just hang. You're going to look ooh natural-ay. Jesus, get the girl a brush at least.

Oh, I know. Why are you doing this? Number one on the list of dogs you don't want to share your bed with is the Bernese Mountain Dog. They just have a massive hairy dog. This is disappointing. The list should have been boxes, beagles, because they're like beagles,

they're little crazy hyperactive beagles. Yeah. They'll burrow under your bed. And they're fat little chonkers too, aren't they? And the Bernese mountain dog is a puppy dog. I know they are. So cute. I want one.

I would love a big dog, but like a medium retriever is big enough. Do you have to live in a mountain to have a Bernese mountain dog? It helps. Really? Yeah. Flatland confuses them greatly. They only like walking up and down hills. Can you live by a river in the city?

Uh, no. Only mountains. Today, kitchen utensils. Your favourite, please. Is this the first time we've done final rankings on a Friday and it hasn't been food? It's been a while, but I feel like we've done one. Maybe one other non-food. Final rankings, kitchen utensils.

I'll go first. Okay. Number one, the almighty spatula. You mean like a scraper? So I just looked up spatulas. It seems like the word spatula covers a whole lot. Yeah, it does. It can cover, you know, if you're making a cake and you want the silicon one to get around the edge of the bowls to get a good mix and fold.

Yeah, that's what I think a spatula is. You're flipping things. But then sometimes like a slice can be called a spatula, right? Like a fish slice. Like a fish slice. Yes. So the thing I use at home that I like the most, it's great in a pan, it's great in a pot. It's a shorter spatula, plastic with an angled end.

So the end's not flat like a flipper. It's got an angle on it, so I guess you can get under things. But it's also slotted. You're posh, aren't you? Yeah, that is posh. It's got an angle on it so I guess you can get under things. But it's also slotted. You're posh aren't you? It's a very nice spatula. Right, because I think the silicon spatula would be my fave. Get in the jars.

Oh, so you're going more the cake scraping spatula. Get all the cake mix out. It's more of a meat flipping. It's a bit of an everything spatula. Like you can use it to get stuff out. I wouldn't use it to go around the edge

of a bowl like a silicon one gets right in there. But this can be used to like scrape out the last bits of something. Because I'd almost say for me the classic

fish slice would be my number one. The normal flip an omelette. Oh my guy will flip an omelette too. Oh really? My guy will do it all.

But then you can get your poached eggs out with one of those. You can use it for... Oh, no, no, no. For a poached egg, you simply must get it out with a slotted spoon. I don't have a slotted spoon. You don't have a slotted spoon? I don't have a slotted spoon.

I'm not rich, okay? Get yourself a slotted spoon. Briscoes will be having a sale this weekend. Get yourself a slotted spoon. Yeah, that's 40% off because I googled utensils on the Briscoe's website. Okay, what about, I would like to put this forward as, you know, just an absolute champion of the kitchen. Yeah.

Probably my number two would be the wooden spoon. I was just going to put forward the wooden spoon. The wooden spoon is simply nothing that compares. It's in my top three. So versatile. I bought a pack of like three or four of them. Yeah, they're so good. Different lengths.

They're so good. Yeah, different lengths. And some things react to metal. Yes. If you're making a kombucha, you simply must use a wooden spoon. Yeah, they're so good. Different lengths. Yeah, different lengths. And some things react to metal. Yes. If you're making a kombucha, you simply must use a wooden spoon. Oh, really? I'm going to chuck in,

I think what my number one is, the tong. Oh! Thank you. I forgot about the tong. Halloween's with me, the tong. Heartbreaking when you lose your tongs. Now, we've got big tongs.

Big silicon tongs. We've got big metal tongs. And we've got the little mini tongs. Yeah, we've got mini tongs. Oh, that's really throwing my top three in. Tongs. We've got big metal tongs. And we've got the little mini tongs. Yeah, we've got mini tongs. That's really thrown my top three in. Tongs. I'm going to go maybe tongs over top of wooden spoon. No.

That's madness. Come on. What kind of tong do? Pasta? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you can even, you know, sometimes with a stir fry, I'll use a silicon tong to really mix it up. Getting your nugs out of the oven.

Nugs out of the oven. Flipping the nugs while they're in the oven. Sometimes if you're doing a saucy in the oven. Flip your nugs. Okay, my top three. Wooden spoon, tongs, and fish slice.

That's good. I go wooden spoon, tongs, man, tongs. I forgot about tongs. Tongs, man. Tongs. I forgot about tongs. Tongs threw me. We need some new tongs, by the way.

Well, they're cheaper. You know what happened with our tongs? You know the thing you squeeze your tongs, you pull the end out and it locks them shut? It broke. So now they're in the drawer like just some leg-spreaded party girl in there, you know? Get to Briscoe's. That guy needs a helicopter pad. Well, I'll pop to Briscoe's this weekend.

Who owns Briscoe's? I'll do that. That guy wants a helicopter pad. The Briscoe's guy. guy needs a helicopter pad. Well, I'll pop to Briscoe's this week in a night. Who owns Briscoe's? I'll do that. That guy wants a helicopter pad. The Briscoe's guy. Arlie Williams. No. He's not the Briscoe's guy. He wants a helicopter pad too.

Well, these people peddling silicon plastic products want helicopter pads. Well, yes. It's important to get to your house quick. Do they just not love the environment in any way? I don't know. The Briscoe's guy wants a helicopter pad. He wants a helicopter pad. He's been in the news wanting a helicopter pad.

Well, bugger him. I'll go to Stevens. Okay, I'm going to do my top three. Doesn't he own that too? Does he own Stevens? And some farmers. That's Stevens and farmers as well. That's Stevens and farmers.

Okay, my top three. I'm diverting. I'm going to go the Tong. Yep. Yep. The Peeler. No. The Peeler.

The Peeler? No. The mini. No, no, no. You mentioned before, before we did this. I'm going to do the Microplane. The Microplane. The Micro, no. The peeler. The peeler? No. The mini? No, no, no. You mentioned before, before we did this. I'm going to do the microplane. The micrograter. So the little grater on a stick.

Parmigiana, garlic, zest. Zest. Orange zest. Wait a minute. Are we counting the four-sided classic everyone's got one grater that you hold at the top and you grate cheese onto the plate? A box grater. A box grater.

Yeah, it's in there. Goddamn, a box grater's got to be on my list you grate cheese onto the plate? A box grater. A box grater. Yeah, it's in there. Goddamn, a box grater's on my list. Somebody's messaging what the F is a fish slice. Do they call that something different in the South Island? It's a flipper. A flipper. It's a flippin'. Why is it called a fish slice?

Because it doesn't slice fish. It flips fish. A fish slice or a metal spatula. Yeah. As a kitchen tool with a wide flat blade with holes in it. So on the Briscoe's website, they're calling what I'm thinking is a fish slice. They're calling it a slotted turner.

Oh, get a good... Yeah, a flipper. A layman's turn. A slotted turner. Someone said, what about a whisk? Get out of here with your whisk. Get out of here with your whisk. You're always getting slammed in the drawer, you piece of shit.

Is Briscoe's also calling a ladle like a Scoopy Whoopie or something stupid? No, a basting spoon. Also, the ladle can get in the trash. The ladle's such a novelty utensil. And we've got skinny drawers at the moment, so the ladle doesn't fit. So we're going to chuck it in the bottom. Okay, so can we finalise the top three? It's tongs.

Tongs. Fish slice. Tongs number one. Wooden spoon. Wooden spoon number two. Fish slice number three. In all of its forms. Or slothy turner.

Or the slothy wee turner. The slothy turner. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Friday Flashback. No pressure, Vaughan, but your Friday flashback. You've got to get on with it because I've got my special treat next for the nation. 1996, this song came out. This was off the band's second album.

The album was called Glow and it came out in 1997. I always thought the lyrics were, Place your hands on my hole. It's not. Are they not? It's not. Are they not? It's soul. The singer Gary Stringer wrote this after the death of his grandfather and he felt this was easy to play in this song.

I haven't heard this song for ages. I've just figured it out by the whole soul confusion. Forever. Here we go. Let's go. It's Reef. Place your hands. Today's Friday Flashback. On my hole. Soul. On's go. It's Reef. Place your hands.

Today's Friday Flashback. On my hole. Soul. On my hole. Soul. ZM, we've got a special treat next. On my hole. Run your fingers through my soul Oh, and the way that I feel right now

Oh Lord, it's me So place your eyes on my hole On my own When your fingers Rule my soul All right, that's it Oh, and the way that we feel right now Oh, Lord, it may go Put your hands on Put your hands on

Put your hands on Put your hands on Put your hands on. Put your hands on. Put your hands on. Put your hands on. Put your hands on. Put your hands on. But you know you cannot hide from what's inside. You know you cannot hide from what's inside. We'll be right back. Put your hands up. I cried at the common one Four weeks I've been out Put your hands on, put your hands on

Put your hands on, put your hands on Put your hands on, put your hands on Put your hands on, put your hands up. We'll be right back. Put your hands on, put your hands on It's your Friday Flashback on ZM Reef. Place your hands from what, 96, 97? 96, 96, yep. Place your hands on my hope. Are the lyrics? Run your fingers through my soul. Okay, not whole.

Put your hands on my hope. Hope. Yeah. What was the feedback like? Just quickly because we've got... Quick feedback. I've got my surprise waiting. Stuck in traffic, sound cranked up, absolute banger.

I approve of this song, such a banger. Absolute F hashtag at King banger. Yes, Vaughn, banger, absolute banger. Vaughn, well done, mate. Vaughn always picks the bangers. You should just leave him in charge of this. No, no, I've done some bangers. Yeah, I every...

It's Fletch that does the sort of duds. Yeah, Fletch picks dud holes. Well, I tell you what, I haven't got a dud next, guys. Why do you think they talk about us? Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM. I would like you now to put on your sleeping mask, to put on your blindfolds,

because I have a surprise for you and the nation. Hayley, engage sleep mask. I'm covering my nipples. I'm so scared. Come on. And my soft underbelly There we go, okay, yes You may bring them in

Bring them in Bring what in? I hate, oh my god Now, I know for a fact that Vaude especially is going to be very, very excited Hayley, also I know that you, because you've said that you'd be very excited What? I have a treat for you and the nation They're just coming in Come on in here guys Fletch, I'm tired because you've said that you'd be very excited. What? I have a treat for you and the nation.

They're just coming in. Come on in here, guys. Fletch, I'm tired. I'll cry. I don't know what's happening. And then if she cries, I'm going to cry. I already feel a little bit like I might cry. Okay, well, hang on.

They're just going to sneak in. They're going to sneak in and each take a microphone. Salad. Salad. I'd like to welcome into the studio Anthony, Sahai, Lockie and Simon the Wiggles. Hi there. Hi. Bourne is hugging them. Good to see you again, mate. Good, yeah. Yes! Hugging them. Didn't you say like a few months ago how excited you would be to meet them? Yes.

I love the Wiggles. Oh my God, that was the most stressful thing of my life. Name me an entertainment brand that's lasted as long with zero controversy, that's provided wholesome family fun for generations. I'm also really sorry for anyone driving that had their sound up because I screamed into the microphone. I heard the fruit salad,

yummy, yummy, and I immediately lost it. My heart is, oh, my watch is, my watch is, I'm having a heart attack and have taken a great fall. Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. You are the most famous people I've ever met. This does because we get asked, who's the most famous people you've ever met? Now you beat Elmo. Who I know you are.

You've worked with Elmo. So welcome to New Zealand, guys. Thank you. It's great to be here. It really is. So good to be anywhere, you know, after a pandemic. Because when were you last here? Just before the pandemic, right? Just before, yeah. Oh, we did...

Yeah, last year about this time, somehow we squeezed in a tour. I don't know how that happened. We did one around Australia as well. We did 14 days isolation at the holiday inn at Auckland Airport. What? They stuck you in the holiday inn? It was fantastic. The Wiggles?

Was the lagoon not available? No, every morning I'd look out and Captain Feathersword was doing laps. Oh my god. I suppose you couldn't have interacted with other people, but there must have been some kids in the hotel that were like, I think I saw a Wiggle. Their parents were like,

you're hallucinating, it's called cabin fever. Wow. So, hi, you're hallucinating. It's called cabin fever. Wow. So hi, welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Excited to be here. You're the latest addition to the Wiggles. How's it been?

Is this like a dream come true? Definitely. I grew up watching the Wiggles, so it's been a big whirlwind. I'm loving it, and I'm really excited to be in New Zealand my first time. Wow. I mean, I remember growing up, you were like, oh, people are always older than me. And then you get to an age where, like, sporting people, like the All Blacks, people are always older than me. And then you get to an age where like sporting people, like the All Blacks now are all younger than me.

And now they're the Wiggle younger than me. I mean, I think Lockie and Simon are younger than me. Now I am the second oldest Wiggle. I consider myself a Wiggle. We met at a set of traffic lights. Where was that? Dunedin. Dunedin, that's right.

Because one has a history of pestering the wiggle. He does. And I pestered Lockie, he was in a car, and it was like seven in the morning, I was like, G'day, man, can I grab a photo, could I? Blerioti's like, what does this hairy man want?

And you probably jumped out expecting to meet me and my children, but I'm like, no, they're not here. I would be a terrible wiggle. I wouldn't be able to keep it appropriate. Do you know what I mean? I would just... Yeah, so that controversy part would... You're not allowed anywhere.

You're going to do a couple of 15 plus shows, aren't you, here? Yeah. On Saturday night? Yeah. So what does that mean? So it's the original Wiggles reform. Yes. We did it in Australia. It's absolutely crazy wild because we play it exactly straight.

We do Greg's there and everyone's just happy to see Greg healthy again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do all the classic Wiggles songs with that beautiful voice of his. Murray's there rocking on the guitar. Jeff falls asleep. But the audience aren't drinking cordial anymore. And so it is out of control. Because I thought everyone imagined that it would be like naughty versions

of the Wiggles songs. No, no, we stay absolutely quiet. Maybe you guys would be like shirtless or something. No, no. But it's adults watching us, so they're very inappropriate. It's so much fun. The wiggles remain professional. And that's the fun of it.

It's just great, man. It was, yeah. Wow. How long have you been doing it now? It's 31 years now. 31 years. 32 years old. Yeah.

That is crazy. My whole life. Yeah. And coming to New Zealand for a lot of that and I just love the difference between Australia and New Zealand. I love the similarities too. The heartbreak for me was coming back to Christchurch. We used to go and say it always to the Cathedral Square there. We had so many beautiful times there.

But, of course, it's its own way. It's beautiful again. But, geez. And then the sport, the difference in the sport. You know, everyone loves rugby here so much and it's league in Sydney. Well, there's a reason we're not so passionate about league. But next season. And there's a reason why we don't talk about the rugby.

You understand. Yeah, we're kind of not talking too much about rugby at the moment. No. We're being humbled at the moment. We were watching, because in Australia you go and you watch Sky Sports, it's all league. Yes. But here it's rugby union.

Yeah. And so we were watching the South Africa versus All Blacks and both Simon and I said, did you see how they were throwing the ball around? Yeah, it was unbelievable. It's a different rugby happening. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, different. Really throwing it around. Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a different rugby happening. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Different.

I'm really throwing it around. Yeah, passing it a lot more. You're asking the least sportiest person. No, but I always remember, like, league was the real quick, lots of passing. You've got your six years, you've got to make it happen. So how's the Bulldogs fan league?

Yeah, in rugby league. We beat you. Oh, we beat you. And that's saying something, because we're not great. We don't get to say that very often, so we've got to say it. Warriors won.

Yeah, no, the Bulldogs don't really win, like, ever. Neither do we! That's why it makes sense now that we beat you. Yeah. What about the Tame Impala song? Oh, you want to hear a bit of that? Yes! Oh, my God, yes.

Yeah. This was number... Just come a bit closer into that mic. Number one on Triple J, right? You guys knocked it off with us. Well, it feels like an elephant shaking his big red trunk for the fun of it. Morning, Loggie. About being loved by him.

Now Simon's bed. Too bad your chances are slim. So, yeah, that is a high note for this hour in the morning. Kevin Parker came to the Wiggles show. We did Elephant with Kevin Parker. Do you know what I love about this?

Whether you've been in the Wiggles for a long time or a short time, the passion and the excitement that you feel for what you do is so obvious. Yeah, we love it. We really do love it. Imagine if, you know, like 30 years on or whatever, you're just going Oh my gosh. When the original Wiggles started

we used to tour around with an Australian children's performer who I won't name. But he didn't like kids. It was Barney, wasn't it? He didn't like kids. He didn't like kids. Was it B1 or was it B2? Which one? I can tell.

You're thinking what I'm thinking, B1. These freaking kids are here. Sure I am B2. In a bloody Gatsby. But it must be so amazing. I mean, look at it. I mean, I was like shaking and screaming and we're so happy to have you here.

But it must be amazing to look out and see kids' faces absolutely just overcome with joy. Yeah, well, you can't have a bad day. You know, when you're performing for children, you really can't. What do you do if you are having a bad day before you get on stage? You just, it changes. Yeah. It really does.

And talking about looking into the audience, with Sahai coming from Ethiopia, and we've got eight Wiggles now, believe it or not. Yes, yeah. So four women, four men. But also it's been so good to reflect our audience. You probably say it better than I do. More just like with representation.

I think it's really important that kids see a society that has a whole bunch of different cultures. It's been really cool seeing little Ethiopian kids and children of like kids and children of color like coming to the shows and dancing along and like I think it's really cool yeah and uh uh when we were in the north coast uh uh this uh aboriginal family came up to me I was going through the through the audience they said give this to our sister so hi I love it so good that's beautiful

that's so cool we're touring around the country starting tomorrow so if you want tickets you can jump on Ticketmaster for those

when's your next R15 plus Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday. Saturday Sparks. I'm there. Let's go. Cancel all my plans. There are very few reasons I would ever get into a crowd. I'm not a crowd person. Oh, yeah, yeah. Star Wars and the Wiggles and Disney. That's about it. You know what? You can come and just be on the side.

And do you know what? Do you know the Justice Crew? Justice Crew? Yeah. Well, Johnny's now a Wiggle. Johnny from the Justice Crew is a Wiggle. He's the other purple Wiggle. But they're the support act of the OG Wiggles Justice Crew. And you go and hear this song.

Oh, now we're going to sing it. At the end of the day, some you win, some you don't. So I'm glad that I'm here with some friends that I know. Always there with a smile saying you're not alone. Everybody. so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. And you've made Morn's day. Dream come true. Dream come true. So good. Thank you so much, guys. Great to see you guys.

We just checked our heart rates. Mine's at 97. Mine got up to 97. It was when the Wiggles initially walked off. Oh, that was making me

so, like... When I said I'd organise a surprise, were you thinking the worst? No, I just had no idea what it was. And the moment they strummed the guitar, it was like a melting of stress. Oh, the Wiggles.

What a group. They're just so iconic. And we were just saying off-air, like, what bringers of joy to the world. Yeah. They make people so happy lovely people they made us so happy

if we've met the wiggles it must be time for fact of the day day day day day do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do ch do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do because I got home late from having been paying attention last night.

Today's fact of the day is the Wiggles are the best cure for anxiety. Yes. Yes. No, it doesn't feel right not to have one. Let me just – someone tagged me in an interesting one. Something to do with Mount Everest the other day, but I can't find it on the fly. Okay.

I think I've done that one about peppermint. We could talk about the dial-up internet sound. Okay, you're a lo- Yeah. Okay, you're a liar. Oh, you got me interested. I mean, people probably know what the dial-up internet sound is, but famously in the 90s, early 2000s with dial-up internet, the noise that was made was described as a digital handshake between your computer, your modem, and the internet service provider,

and the noise it made came in three parts. Have you found it, have you? I think so. No, that's not my internet cord. That's mine. That's your one. That's your one because I heard the noise when you plugged it in. Okay, let me press play on this bad one. Yeah. That's your one, because I heard the noise when you plugged it in. Yeah, okay, let me press play on this bad boy.

Sweet. That part, that first part... Yep. ...is exchanging pleasantries. This part you're hearing now, setting the terms of connection. And then... Hold on. Wait.

They're about to start talking there. They start speaking in their own silent language. And then that's when you're on the internet. That's when you're on the internet. Wow. You couldn't do that at 11 o'clock at night, could you? Oh, no.

Oh, no. I've got wiggles. Fair enough. You should have put them on I've got wiggles. Fair enough. I don't want to check them on the background. Why not? Fair enough. So, yeah, that was... You'd put the pillow up against the back of the computer,

wouldn't you? Hold it there. Click connect. Yeah. Really push the pillow on. Shut the passage door. Shut some doors and you just hear... Trying to have a sneaky...

What were you doing late at night on the internet Vaughn young Vaughn at home you were in chat rooms MSN dropping in chatting to bays but the joke was on you because your parents have charged $5 an hour for the internet and at the end of the month

you know one $5 a day really adds up yeah it does adds up towards the end of the month when they got their phone bill. So today's fact of the day, I mean, this is nothing for anybody listening at home, but this is a drawing of what's happening. This is the sound file drawing of what's happening when your phone starts to, and then there's the white noise where they merge sort of like seamlessly.

And that's why if you had call waiting and a phone call came through and an extra doot got chucked in there, because you know when you had call waiting, it'd be like beep, beep, another call coming through. Those beeps would be enough to disrupt the flow and that's why you'd always get dropped off if you were on dial-up when call waiting came through.

So today's fact of the day is that noise that your computer made when it connected to the internet service provider in the 90s via dial-up internet was your modem and the internet service provider pretty much agreeing to terms and conditions. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I'm still holding, holding, holding on. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. So an Australian mum was sharing some tips on how to budget to feed all of her kids because times are tough and Australia groceries are expensive as well. And the reason she was sharing this is because she's got a lot of mouths to feed in her house. She's got her, her husband, and their 16 children. I'm sorry, but an 18-person household.

Like, calm down. Where do you even live? Nine sons, seven daughters, Jenny and Ray, from Toowoomba in Queensland, have struggled to feed them all, of course. Get a television, you know? Get off her. Get a pack of corneas, maybe.

Get off her. I know. Give her a bloody breather, mate. I'm just trying to see. I'm looking at the photos. What? Nine of the kids still live at home. Oh, wow.

Some of them are older. That's the thing, isn't it? Yeah. You ship them out. You have that many. Yeah. Yeah. Nine of them.

Even with a tiny stand down period between babies. Yeah. So how old is she? She doesn't look that old at all. That always blows my mind when someone has heaps of kids and they don't look that old. You're like, what's your secret? The deal with Satan? I would say she's like late 40s maybe.

Right. Late 40s. Wow, and she's got 16 kids. 16 kids. Some of them young, some of them adults now. I know that we do have some big families in New Zealand because, well, I think there was one of those shows like Sunday or 60 Minutes and they talked to a family in New Zealand and there was heaps of them.

But I don't know if there was 16 heaps. I mean, once you've had to buy a minivan, you know, why not? Once you've got more than three and you have to get like a car with three or four rows of seats, why not get a bus? They need a bus. Yeah, they need a bus. Also, as soon as they turn 15 and 16,

they have to get a part-time job and I think they do help contribute to the family budget. Goddamn communism. The money and the food and all that aside, I want to find people with heaps of kids. So in New Zealand, what is the most that we know of?

Do you know of a family that has... Modern, right? Yeah, modern. I've been doing a bit of Ancestry.com and one of my great-grandparents was one of 14. But that was like turn of the century. Half of them were going to perish. I mean, I think we'd want at least in the last, what, 50, 60, 70 years?

Yeah, my grandma was one of nine. Nine, she was one of nine. Okay, so let's put the limit on it that you can't call in and say my great-great-granddad. You have to say my grandmother. That's the...

Or grandparents. Grandparents, parents, you. That's all. Yeah. The last three gents. Or no of our family currently in New Zealand. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So what is the record in New Zealand? 0800-DARZADAM. Give us a call. You can text as well. 9696. They're probably busy at the moment. You know what I mean? De Give us a call. You can text as well. 9696. They're probably busy at the moment.

You know what I mean? Dealing with all of these kids. Yeah, yeah. But we want to know, do you have the most children in New Zealand? I think you meant they were busy making another.

Well, maybe. I wish they could be. We know they enjoy it. So an Australian woman is in the news because she's talking about how she feeds her 16 kids. 16 children.

And of course her husband. So there's 18 of them. Yeah, he'll get the scraps, though. Daddy will get the scraps. Yeah, Ira can only be on the dad diet. Yeah, he doesn't get his own plate. He just finishes everybody else's. Yeah.

So we want to know, here in New Zealand, what's the largest family you know of or that you're part of? Yeah. Because can we beat 18? And we've capped it at Grandma, Grandpa. Yeah, we don't want to hear about your great-great- She was back in the day. Yeah, they were sailors. You had to have so many kids because,. We don't want to hear about your great-great- They were sailors.

You had to have so many kids because, you know, you had to keep warm and do something. Yeah, it wasn't the access to the conies. Yeah, and there were sea monsters. Sea monsters would snatch your children if you went too close to the shore. I'd keep replacing them. Hey, the crack and stormy four-year-old guest. Matt, good morning.

Good morning. How are we? Good, good. Your friend is one of how many? This is not the largest family in the world, but 10 kids. The key logistical thing here is it's 10 girls, and they grew up in a house with one bathroom. Oh. Wait, so they had 10 girls. What are the chances?

10 girls. Chinese family, so obviously we're going for a boy. After number seven, you've got to be looking up to the sky going, come on Chinese family, so obviously we're going for a boy. After number 7, you've got to be looking up to the sky going, come on, bro. Are you crazy? Is that why they just kept trying to get the boy? One bathroom! Come on! You know, you often see those families with these three girls and then the

youngest boy and they were like, yes, finally we did it. Yeah, yeah, we're done. Most people stop there at like three or four, right? Can we also give a shout out now? There's so much more choice when it comes to, you know, a family mover for more than three kids. In the 90s, it was a sports pack. It was a Mitsubishi sports pack.

That was the only thing you were allowed to drive. Thanks, You Call Matt. Keep your texts, your calls coming in, because I think, judging by the response, we're going to beat 10 by quite a bit. But can we beat 18? We want to know if we can beat,

here in New Zealand, 16 kids. Yeah, a mum in Australia has been sharing her life as a mother of 16. I'm not interested in the nitty gritty details. I just want to see

if we can beat it. Who in New Zealand has or knows someone or is part of a family that had more than 16? More than 16? I've got a text message that can go one up. We heard from a 10 before. A 10 or a 10?

A 10. Someone messaged in saying they are one of 11. Mum wanted to have a nice round number and wanted 12 but unfortunately I ruined her. I ruined her. Oh. I ruined her.

I don't, it's nice that mum, it's nice that mum. I mean, mum had 11. Did mum need a bacon, did mum need the dozen? No. 11's 11. God, you'd have hand downs

your whole life, hand me downs. Oh, they'd be absolutely ruined by the time they got to you as well. Kim, this is your mum. How many siblings

does she have? So she's one of 15 almost 15 and my partner's one of 11 children Oh my god your wedding

Imagine Or just even Christmas Do you do Secret Santa for Christmas? Otherwise you're buying for everyone So unfortunately we're all spread out

between Oa, Teroa and Australia. So our Christmases are not that huge but my uncle, so my mum's oldest brother is one of the 15 is 80. He's just hit his 80th and

the youngest is only 6 months older than me and I'm 32. Oh wow, That's okay. So my, yeah, different mum, but all the same dad. Wow. It's usually the way it works. Yeah, it's a breeder. Amazing.

Kim, thank you. Let's see if we can beat 15. Paris, good morning. Morning. This is Nan. Yes, my Nan is the oldest of 18. The oldest of 18. Okay, and then there was mum and dad, so there were 20 all up.

Yes. But, I mean, there would have been some like this mum in Australia, this mum and dad, some would have already moved out, right? Yeah, so by the time my Nan was having children while her mum was still having kids. Oh, wow. Nan. Wow.

So my nan's youngest brother is only six months younger than one of her boys. Yeah, when you were a family like this growing up, their uncle was younger than them. That's weird, eh? Yes. And he was younger than them. Yeah. Especially if, like, the first child was when the mum was young.

Yes. Real young. Yeah, yeah. And then later, oh, my God, 18. Paris, thank you. I don't know if we're going to beat 18. Mel, good morning. Morning, Mel.

Morning. Is this your nan? Yes, it's my nan as well. Okay. And so how many siblings did nan have? So nan was one of 21. What? Okay, and so how many siblings did Nan have? So Nan was one of 21. What? Okay, you win.

You win, Mel. How, who, what, who, how did, sorry. Yep. So Nan is the second to youngest. So a lot of her older siblings had passed away before she was even born. Wow. And yeah, so one of her brothers was in, like, the Māori Battalion and passed away over there.

And so there wasn't ever all of them at one place together. That was the thing back in the day. Two major world wars wiped out a lot of young lads and lasses. And, you know, just illnesses and, yeah, yeah. So you had to have a lot. 21. Mel, that's incredible. Thank you for sharing.

I don't know. We've got some messages in. I don't know if we're going to beat 21. We're not going to beat that. But special shout out to the person who messaged in. I'm one of 13 kids, ages 31 to 6 currently. And we all start with the letter J. Jacob, Jessica, Jennifer, Jack, Zeshuan.

Zeshuan. I love the Zeshuan chicken. Yeah. You're that spicy chicken that numbs your lips. I let it out. Jacob, Jessica, Jennifer, Jack, Zeshuan, Julia, Jimmy, Jonathan, Joseph, Joanna, Jasmine, Joel, Jemima. And mum and dad are Matt and Fiona.

No Jadens. So those are the... No Jadens. No Jadens. So those are the... No Jadens. No Jadens. Good move dodging a Jaden there. They're the Kardashians of the Js. Yeah. Wow.

The Jadashians. I love that. The Jardashians. Far out. So nothing even comes close? You'd have trouble remembering the names. You would. If you were one of 21 siblings.

My mum will go through my brother's name, her brother's name, my dad's name, and the cat's names, and then say my name. Yeah. And there's only me and my brother. A mate of mine messaged in saying he went to school with a family who had 14 kids, went around to their house once. It was like chaos. No one knew what was going on.

But always remember they had four washing machines and four dryers. I hadn't even thought about the washing. Four washing machines? We've got two kids, and the washing machine and four dryers. I hadn't even thought about the washing. Four washing machines? We've got two kids and the washing machine is just constantly going. Oh, my God. You'd just get a swimming pool or a spa pool and just chuck it all in that, right? You'd have to have those commercial dryers

and they have the laundromats, right? Imagine when they were young and there was quite a few of the young ones around. Oh, yeah. What absolute nightmares. The creams. Yeah. Hey, guys, apparently being the company's most successful

podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just...

Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. No, like, no, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say names. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though.