ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 19th January 2022

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

Pink Tax  Sushi Hospitalisation  Top 6: Movie Teams  WORDLE!  DIY Dentistry  Signs your Partner will propose  Waterflosser  Hayley's Crying  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's. Don't mind me guys, I'm just getting my makeup done. She's a full reno here. It's like an extreme face make. Now what is that?

Move that bus! Is that Sally's No More Gaps? It's methylated spirits in it. Are you having a wipe down? I'm getting an absolute scrub down. Yeah. I've got a photo shoot. You guys don't have it.

What is it with? What is that wipe down with? Because you refused to update your photo. Well, I'm happy with that photo. No, I want a couple of months. I've put on a few kgs. Yeah, the difference between now and then. Two years and 14 kgs. Yeah, yeah.

So they're just going to Photoshop you in. Yeah, because the current photo that's on the podcast artwork is of me playing a character in a sitcom I was in. Because that was the only brunette photo I had. Right. Head and shoulders.

Okay, lovely. Yeah. It looks fine. You look like you could do With some sun Oh my god I know I'm snowy white It was because I was just On Accutane at that time

What's that? You know like Acne medication Oh and you can't You can't go in the sun And I was on it for two years Two years not going in the sun Wow

That's why my skin looks so good Okay Very white Yeah right But white Yeah Okay well we'll just Stand it up a little bit Your moustache got a special Bit of treatment just before sun. That's why my skin looks so good. Very white. Yeah, right. Okay, well we'll just stand it up a little bit. Your moustache got a special bit of treatment just before. Yeah, well it's sort of in the regrowth stage at the moment. Five o'clock.

Shadow. I was like, should I deal with it this morning before this photo shoot? She was like, nah, the lens will be far enough away. They can blur that, they can take care of that. You look at how white my teeth are in that photo. Oh, yeah, mine's not real. That's not real. God, no.

I've stained those with coffee for the last 25 years. And look at the joy behind your eyes, too. Yes, I know. That's Photoshopped in. That's a filter. They can put the sparkle back in your eye on a filter. It makes it look like I really love life, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.

And they've definitely darkened my beard on the side there. Oh, absolutely. That thing is patchy in real life. doesn't it? It does. And they've definitely darkened my beard on the side there. Oh, absolutely. That thing is patchy in real life. No, it's not patchy. There's a lot of different colours in it. Well, podcast fam, you can look forward to that updated artwork. Yeah, where it doesn't look like Fletch Vaughan and anemic Hayley. Thanks, Ash.

Good morning. Welcome to the show. 4 minutes past 6. Morning. Wearing some badges today. Wearing some badges, I've got some badges. What are your badges for? This is Marching Hawks Bay badge and the Basement Theatre are those two. I'm also rocking some glasses.

Your blue light glasses. What do we think? More of a fashion statement than anything. They have a very unusual reflection, blue light glasses. They do because you really see the blue, eh? Yeah, yeah, you see the blue off the lights. Yeah. Well, I've had a couple of days of headaches in the afternoon and I was like, it's got to be the laptop.

Even though I spend my entire life on a laptop, somehow it sort of worked out that that's what it is. Lack of sleep. Giving it a go. But I will say the headache is actually coming from them squishing against my head. Oh, you've got to

tighten your legs. So another day of headaches then. Rocking a hard place, really. Different sort of headache. Yeah. Could be a tumour. Could be a tumour.

Could be a tumour. How do you look that up? How do you check that out? Google. Google? Yeah. Google, worst case scenario headache. I start all Google? Yeah. Google worst case scenario headache.

I start all of my Googles with worst case scenario. Headache equal tumour? Question mark or just statement? Could have been brain tumour. It could be. Yeah. Oh, well. It's been good.

It's been good. How many people go to their doctor and they say, I've been Googling. I think I've got a tumour. All of them. I always say, and I say, look, I know you hear this all the time, but I looked it up. They love that.

They love that. They list off the things that could be, and you're like, I can't help but notice you have left tumour off the list. You have left my tumour off. It was one of my top Googles.

Which I have. Yeah. Coming up on the show, your chance to win free fuel again this morning, seven o'clock and eight o'clock. Just listening out for the Activator,

super easy game. Did you see that news story yesterday? Will Fuel hit $3 in New Zealand. Three bucks a litre. Madness. It makes me laugh less and less at the Toyota Aquar. The two members of the show drive. It's still very funny.

I just... God, imagine driving a big guzzler. I know. Well, your chance to win some free fuel on us at 7 and 8 this morning. Coming up, a woman has been hospitalised after attending an all you can eat. But it's the type of all you can eat that was interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Delve into that soon. But next on the show. I don't want to bring the mood down but we have to talk about the pink tax. Is that like the pink dollar? Yeah, very similar. Okay. This isn't news. This is news to no one, especially me in this room.

Men, whakarongomai. But the conversation continues about women's tax. The tax we pay just for being born a woman. And the topic of conversation today is about skin care or, you know, cosmetic products, your razors, your cotton buds, your moisturizers, your shampoos.

We pay so much more money. They're calling it the pink tax. Yeah, but you're fools. Because they put, basically they make everything pink and then charge you a bit more for it. I've never understood that. Why not just buy, surely the conditioner and stuff, it's all the same junk, right?

Shave cream? Would you use Well then you're paying for a superior product so don't whinge about it. The only thing is men's products have a man smell so they make them smell like Rexona. But if you're using like a shave cream for your legs or a gel or whatever, you're going to shower and soap afterwards anyway.

So what does the smell matter? But they do. They get me. But how much? I didn't know this, but a men's and women's razor is not the same price. No way. Because you always buy in special. You never buy razor blades on.

You always buy in bulk or as many as you can for the dollar. But no, when you add it all up, women can spend an average of $1,500 more annually on their bathroom products. But is that because you're also buying more products? Because I feel like

when it comes to me, for example, I literally just buy liquid soap and shave gel and shave blades. From a Dove soap bar. And that's it. Do you know what I found the other day when I was sorting out the bathroom? Head and shoulders two in one. That was like finding a little gold bar in there.

That's one thing that can do so many things. The only reason I've ever used head and shoulders two in one is to strip colour from your hair. That's what it does. If you've done like a bad dye job, you can use head and shoulders two and one is to strip colour from your hair. That's what it does. If you've done like a bad dye job you can use head and shoulders two and one

Is that why you went bald? And it gets it out. Strip the colour right out of it. I know I've still got hair it's just completely transparent. It takes the colour out. But yeah

they just make it pink and they say there's no other way behind it other than it's a classic capitalist stance if you can make money off it

well you should. Well then it, well, you should. Well, then it comes down to you. You've got to show these capitalist pigs. I know, but I don't want to stink like, what is the smell of man product? It's like a tangy, spicy... Sandalwood. Musk.

Sandalwood. Musk. I want to smell like musk. You know, everything's got sandalwood in it. Here's some Gillette Venus disposable shavers three pack on special for $7.79 at Countdown. I mean, that's bloody cheap. That's good, isn't it?

That is pretty good. What would the equivalent of a man's disposable pack be? You get those little orange and white disposable ones. Oh, there you don't use those. They're hideous. One blade and it just grabs your hair. But also our products are worse. We were just talking to Karwin before about using men's razors

instead of female razors. And you reckon that the men's razors are sharper and better. For sure. They are sharper. I don't know. Do they blunt our razors because we might nick our wee legs and have a bleed in the shower? Maybe.

But, yeah, they just shave better. Is facial hair a bit coarser? Mine's quite soft. Are you using the five-blade ones, like the Quattro? Is that why? Why do you get five blades and we get three, and I'm paying more for them? Do you not get five blades?

My blades are three. Because you don't have a hairy face, although... You're sick, but speak for yourself. Hairy legs, aren't there? So why wouldn't you want five blades? I'm in the process of laser. Five blades gets clogged very easily. You reckon?

They're too close together. No. I think I'm rocking a three and they're distant, so when you run it under the tap, the hair falls out easier. Carwin, would you consider doing a cutthroat shave on the leg, armpit and bikini region? At the barber in the chair. At the barber they put you back,

put a hot towel on you. Sure. Run it up the leg. I don't know if I would trust a barber down there. But so you're always buy the men's blades? Yeah. Wow, okay. So you're dodging the pink tacks?

Yeah, exactly. They're always cheaper, even if they're not on sale. Come on, guys. See past it. Dodge the pink tacks. But what about a shave cream or foam? What do you do there, men or women's? I don't know.

Don't tell me you just rub soap on. No, no, no. You do a dry shave. You do it. And rash it out. I would say that the one that I use isn't gendered. No, no, no. You do a dry shave. And rash it out. I would say that the one that I use isn't gendered. Oh, okay. It's genderless.

It's genderless. Yeah. Where does that fit on the price scale, do you know? I think you were about to say whatever its pronouns. I think I just bought the cheapest one, to be honest. Okay. So you're dodging the pay tax. I'm not dodging it.

I'm paying out the wazoo for stuff like this. Dodge the pay tax. 48% more expensive female shampoos. Here is a tax that you are able to dodge without fearing the IRD is going to boot your door down and drag you off to jail. Do you know they are saying that men in general have thicker skin, therefore more collagen.

So our products, women who have a more delicate face, contain more collagen in them and therefore more expensive. That makes a bit of sense. No, that collagen thing's just all money making. Anytime I see the word collagen written on anything, I'm like, here come the fools. Don't tell you've got collagen in your smoothie. Listen, I've got liquid collagen.

No you don't. Right there. Boy, it's gonna pass straight through you. I've got cosmetic collagen on the face. Danielle No, you don't. Right there. It's going to pass straight through you. I've got cosmetic collagen on the face. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Danielle Shapiro decided to treat herself in California to an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. Sushi. All-you-can-eat sushi.

No. That sounds like a recipe for gout, doesn't it? Is this lunchtime or dinner? Because you know my rule. It looks dark behind it. Oh, no. You know my sushi rule. What's your sushi rule?

Not past 3 p.m. Why is that? He's a lunchtime sushi guy. It's lunchtime only for sushi. It is the perfect lunchtime snack. It is a better lunchtime. It's better for lunchtime. A meal.

Yeah. But also lots of, like, I'm thinking if it's all you can eat, they're just going to be dishing out the cheap junk. Yeah. Filling up on, you'd be filling up on rice. You're not getting the finest sashimi salmon, are you? Nigiri, is it? No, yeah, yeah.

You're not getting that. You're not getting that. No, it's delicious fresh cuts. Probably a lot of soy sauce involved too. Oh, the sodium. Is it also the other stuff? Is it like the fried? Because, you know, I love the fried when they do the fried.

I could get down on an all-you-can-eat karaage or tempura veg or something like that. Yeah, we're talking chicken teriyaki. Yeah, agadashi tofu. They could easily dodge that by saying it's all-you-can-eat sushi. It's not all-you-can-eat karaage chicken. Right. No. So she ended up in hospital after she ate 32 pieces of sushi.

32? Yeah, you might be thinking, did she eat amongst those 32? Was there a bad piece of sushi? A bad fish? Was it food poisoning? Was it vomiting? No, she was diagnosed with acid reflux. So the 50 US dollars that she spent to eat-

50! Yep. 32 rolls of sushi for $50. So she's paying over a dollar per piece of sushi. No. Nearly two. That's 75 bucks. I'm guessing she paid even more to be hospitalized in America

to be told that she has acid reflux from overindulging. So she could have just gone home and had a quickies. She could have popped her way. She should have had one in her purse. A wee sip of Gavvy. Yeah, some Gaviscon. Yeah, some Gaviscon. You've got to have that in the car

or in your purse if you're going to go to a royal camp. 32 is a lot though. That's a lot of rice. Does it say what the sort of core ingredient of the sushi was? Rice. Was it salmon or fish?

It's a bit of everything. She put up some photos. Apparently there's TikTok documentation so you've got a salmon on top of like a cream cheese situation there. How many pieces of sushi do you reckon you could eat?

At an all you can eat? I don't think it'd be. Not even half. Maybe 20 at the most. I don't think it'd be as much as you think. 18, 15. Because like,

do you remember that time we went to all you can eat pancakes on the Gold Coast and we were like, absolute rip off. We were like, oh, no. No, it's a rip off. We were like, oh, no. No, it's a rip-off.

We were like, we've got this. We've got this. I think we did three pancakes each. Because they're big, thick pancakes. They're dry. They don't give you, you get maple syrup or maple-flavored syrup and a thing of cream, and that's it. There's no moisture involved.

There's no whipped cream. No, it's a hard eat. And then you're like, $12, that's not too bad, but then you think about it, you're paying $4 per pancake. Yeah, that's not a deal. No. That's not a good deal. So they won.

I walked away from that feeling like we'd lost that battle. I like an all-you-can-eat where I'm paying for the variety. I'm paying for an all-you-can-eat where I could sit down and eat a couple of oysters followed up by a delicious vindaloo curry and then I can pop to the cold meat station then I can pop to the hot meat station

some pudding maybe have some chocolate mousse yes a wild variety and then maybe go back to some sweet and sour pork why not there's no rules at a buffet no there's no rules

I used to always when I lived in Wellington, go to Genghis Khan when I had a hangover. You know the Mongolian barbecue? They cook it in front of you. Two bowls, I reckon. Two bowls is all I can eat. And how much was two bowls back in the day? It was about $38.

For all you can eat. For all you can eat. Mongolian barbecue. You did get sort of access to the corn soups and the likes. Right. But no, two bowls is me. And then you try to get another bowl. You're hungover and you're access to the corn soups and the likes. Right. But no, two bowls is me. And then you try to get another bowl. You're hungover and you're contemplating a corn soup.

Even just when you said corn soup, I was like. The body wants. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A woman on TikTok has shared a hot new dating tip for you single, well, not just the ladies, everyone out there, to sort of make you a little bit more alluring to your new date.

What she does is she shared this on TikTok. She was sitting in the bathroom and she went live on TikTok and said, when you go to the bathroom, pay the bartender to send you anonymous shots so that your date remembers that you have options. Oh, shots. Yeah, so like you'll be sitting

and then you come back, went for a little wee, you sit down and then the bartender who you pay. Brings over a quick F. Yeah, and goes, excuse me, ma'am, but an anonymous gentleman

has sent you this beverage. And it leaves, it's supposed to leave your date quote unquote shaken in their boots. But I could understand if it was a classy cocktail. But a shot. No. I will say when I look at this woman, I don't immediately think class.

That's not the word that immediately comes to mind. But she opts for the shot, but you could do it with a cocktail. It feels a little bit fraudulent, doesn't it? This man from across the bar has sent you a flaming beaver. I'm looking up the trashiest shots. A flaming beaver is a slippery nipple? Yeah, slippery nipples in there. Shots have always got really horrendous names.

A lot of these I can't read. Even something embarrassing like, excuse me, ma'am, but the gentleman at the bar sent you a Jager bomb. Yeah. I hope you're planning to stay up all night. Because it's 10pm and you're drinking a Red Bull. Also, wouldn't it be embarrassing if they saw you

at the bar talking to the barkeeper? It's so embarrassing. Oh my gosh. How embarrassing. It's like sending yourself flowers on Valentine's Day. Yeah, but people are jumping on board and saying this is a fantastic idea. They're going to give it a go. It does feel a bit disingenuous, doesn't it? I like it.

I'm not going to lie. Someone was saying a person responded and said that this actually happened to them. They were on a date and someone actually sent them a drink and they said it was the best feeling in the world. It gave them a real boost and that made their date even better because then they were really feeling themselves. But doing it themselves, I don't know.

Then another TikTok user who is a bartender said, I'm a bartender and I love it when women do shit like this. They do it a lot. I wouldn't dream of it. But the thing is, the guy's going to be keen anyway, right? I feel like you're just wasting your money. It might make him up his game, though.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. And be like, what has she got? What's the mystery here? Yeah. It's like when you see an average-looking dude, and he's doing all right with a woman, you're like, what's his secret? Yeah, what is that smirk?

You know what I'm talking about. Big dick energy. There's a little something going on downstairs. Well, there's a big something going on downstairs. Wow. You're like, that guy walks with swagger, but he's not that good looking. I can't navigate all this. There's so many dating tips on TikTok and online.

I'm so glad I'm not dating. Although I'm open to it. Is your fiance? I just didn't want to shut that down, actually. I realised I shut down a whole world there. Of free drinks? I'm open to it. Yeah, next time you go out for dinner with Aaron, you should try this.

I might do it next time I go out for dinner with Aaron, you should try this. Like, in a well. I might do it next time I go out for dinner with Sade. I'll come back and I'll sit down and see a woman and send you a peach tart. Your wife will grab the knife and start going up to every woman in the bar. Cut her down. Was it you?

Was it you? Yeah. Show me your receipts. Show me your Airbus transactions. From the underground ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hey! Hey, B. Hey!

The Jamaican Bobsled team last went to the Winter Olympics in 1988. That was the appearance that gave us the movie Cool Runnings. 1988. 1988. When did Cool Runnings come out, the movie? Because it's old. It was in the 90s. Early 90s because John Candy was still alive.

Cool. Kiss the Lucky Egg. That was on the... 1994. Wow. I got off on earlier. Okay. Quite quick on the back of them going, isn't it?

94, so we're going to 93. And of course the whole... Five years after it actually happened. Like the movie, the't it? Yeah, 94, so 93. And of course the whole... Five years after it actually happened. Like the movie, the whole thing was like, well, they don't have any ice ever. No. No. So this is like quite remarkable.

Bit of an ish. Yeah. When it comes to bobsledding. Yeah, and they're back. Very much the ish. Why are they back? They need a sequel, do they? They qualified.

Oh, right. And they're qualified for speed. How do they practice? Do they do like a slip and slide with some dish soap? I don't know, but I know the woman who was on the news last night in charge of the team was just randomly assigned Jamaica at the Commonwealth Games. Oh, okay.

To be like a physio or something for. Oh. And she's because, so it's got all the writings of another movie, guys. It does. I could think of worse places to be, you know, asked to move to than Jamaica. And that they showed her massaging the butt. And because if you've seen these sprinters,

you're Usain Boltz. Usain Usain. Yeah. Like, they're not like, they're not middle distance, long distance runner thin. Like, there's some glute in the boot. You know how people have a calling? Yeah.

I think that might be mine. Your sprinter. No, the massager. Oh, rubbing the sprinters. No, not the sprinter. I don't have the fitness in me. Okay, it's a physio, not a massager.

Yeah. Potato, potato. But you should look, you should give that a bit of a squiz, by the way. Yeah, right, okay. Some very,

do you need a moment? I need a couple. You carry on. Big birds. Do you need a moment? I need a couple. You carry on. Big birds. Cool Runnings is making a comeback at the Winter Olympics next month. The top six are the movie sports teams that we want to see in 2022. Number six. If you've been watching the NBA, you'll know that their COVID rules have met.

People who haven't played basketball maybe ever in the NBA or for ages have been recalled into the NBA because their numbers are dwindling. So why don't we enter Toon Squad from Space Jam in the NBA? Can cartoons get COVID? Surely not. That's the next variant.

There you go. Oh my God, who's going to die in the cartoon world? A porky pig? Yeah. He's a smoker. Yeah. That's all, folks. Number five on the list of the top six other movie sports teams we want to see in 2022 are the Mighty Ducks and the NHL.

Yeah. That original lineup of plucky little kids who were just a bunch of uncoordinated losers. They did that on Disney Plus, though. They redid the series. I think they did. Yeah, Rings of Bell. Yeah. Let's see some, like, 8 to 12-year-olds go in the ring against those big Canadian brawlers.

I'd be down for that. Number four on the list of the top six other movie sports teams we want to see in 2022 are A League of Their Own, the team from A League of Their Own and baseball. What was that? That was Tom Hanks? Tom Hanks was the coach in the end. Yeah. Gina Davis.

It's based on a true story. In 1943 or 44. Because all the men were at war. There wasn't enough men to field the baseball league. So I think it was the owner of the Cubs fielded a woman's league.

Interesting fact for you, that's how marching started. All the men were at war in the 40s and the women were left at home so they wanted to keep them fit. So they brought soldiers home to teach them how to march. So that's every day you've got marching in on the show

so far. And can I say how that 100% would not happen in the modern hey woman the men are overseas and we need to

keep you you know fit because we don't want them coming home to a bunch of slobs. So get your pants on and let's go

for a walk. Just drills. Drills over and over. Number three on the list of the top six other movie sports teams we want to see in 2022. That team from Invictus that wore green jerseys that Matt Damon played rugby for. Yeah.

I don't know. That seems like it wasn't based on any... Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman played Nelson Mandela. Yeah, he did. I don't know that we need to see that team come back. Yeah. And then the poisoned All Blacks team that goes with. Yeah. Yeah. They had the runny poos.

Oopsie! Number two is the Mighty Ducks again. So that takes us to number one. I said, born are you sure you're going to be able to come up with six? No, I did. Absolutely. He did. The Mighty Ducks, the Mighty Ducks. Two lots of Mighty Ducks. Let me think of another one. Oh, you should have Absolutely. He did. The Mighty Ducks, the Mighty Ducks. Two lots of Mighty Ducks. Let me think of another one.

Oh, you should have done Ted Lasso. What's that team? They are a real team, though. Oh, yeah, they are. No, are they? I think so. Yeah, the Greyhounds. What about Adam Sandler's The Longest Yard?

Do you remember that? Oh, yeah, the remake of the Burt Reynolds. Yeah. Football team. That was a great number two. And number one, the Aaron Jo the Burt Reynolds. Yeah. Football team. That was a great number two. And number one, the average Joe's dodgeball team. Oh. Get them in.

If you can dodge a spanner, you can dodge a ball. And then Vince Vaughn's there, isn't he? Yeah. And Ben Stiller's hot wife. He did well. But he's looking good too. He's aging very, very well. He's aging very well.

That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. You might have seen a weird combination of green squares, slightly mustardy yellow squares, grey squares, light grey squares, dark grey squares popping up on social media and you're like, what the hell is Wordle? I have seen it. Yeah.

Tell me more. Well, I will read you exactly what wordle is. Guess the wordle in six tries. So that's why when you see this grid of squares. Is it like a crossword? It can be six by five. Right. You start by guessing any five letter word. There's probably some really good five letter words to start with because the first, yesterday I started with steak. Oh, okay. So I was thinking about steaks. Yum. Yeah, yum steaks,

not wooden steaks. Meat steaks. So I wrote steak and it told me, I think it told me nothing. It said none of these letters and none of these none of these letters are in the word and none of these letters are in the right place. So it all goes grey.

Because you'd want a five-letter word with the most vowels, consonants. What are the ones A, E, I, O, U? Vowels. Vowels. You'd want, what would the most vowels in a word be? Well, if you've ever watched like Your Wheel of Fortunes, you always go, yeah, N's, R, S, T. What are the other ones?

They always start with, you know, the most used ones. You never start with a Q. That's a fool's errand. Yeah, it is. So already you know it's going to be a five-letter word. Yeah. And then you pick a random word. Yeah.

And it will tell you if any of those letters are in the word. Yeah. And if any of those letters are in the right space. Otherwise, start again with a fresh. Now you've got six guesses. Okay. Each day. Each day.

What, you do one a day? One wordle a day. That's not for me. I've just downloaded it and I'm going to delete it because I'm a binger. Wait a minute. What do you mean you downloaded it? I'm downloading the app.

There wasn't an app yesterday. Oh, no, they're shaking their head. Not an app? That's not the official. Why is it called Wordle? Someone's jumped in on the Wordle. What do you do Wordle on? You just do it on a website.

That's the other weird thing. What? And it's not even Wordle.com. It's powerlanguage.co.uk slash Wordle. I'm off. I'm out. They've not even bought the domain name. They haven't even bought the damn app.

Yeah. Okay, I'm deleting. So yesterday I got it. I got my first word. We can say what yesterday's was, eh, because you can't play it anymore. Was it proxy? Proxy. Proxy.

Oh, okay. And then you can share it. Yeah. But it doesn't tell other people what the word is. It just showed how long it took you to get it. So you're allowed, how many guesses are they? Six. Six.

But then, so if you don't get it, you can keep guessing tomorrow. Or is it a whole new word tomorrow? It's a whole new word tomorrow. It disappears and it's a whole new word. So yesterday I went steak, none of those. So next I went pouty. And it said, oh, we're in business because they're peeing the wire in the right place. So it lit them up green.

And it said, but your O's not. I got a green straight out the gate. Oh. Yeah, so now you know that the I, because you've written drive as your first five-letter word, you know that I, it's going to be a five-letter word with an I in the middle. Now try to think of a five-letter word

that doesn't have a D and R or V or anything. Why is Jared checking us here? He doesn't want me to ruin it. Are you allowed to do? What have I done wrong? Don't go giving away letters because people haven't done their wordle yet. Oh, sorry.

Spoiler alert. This is the big thing. I said to Jared, what would stop you doing it, telling me the answer, then I can get it right first time, then I share it being like, ain't no thing.

Yeah. How popular is this wordle situation? Well, everybody is doing it. All the producers, you're all doing it, aren't you? Insanely popular. Yeah, we're obsessed. Once a day, though. Are you allowed to do, because I just Googled five-letter word with the most vowels,

are you allowed to do another language? No. No, it'll reject it. English words, not names. A Jew. I bid you a Jew. That might work. Can you try putting that in?

A-D-I-E-U. Does it let you? That fits with the I being third as well. Well, it let me. It let you. But it's not the word. It's not the word. See, that would be a great word.

Should I stop, Jared? But that would be a great word to start every day because then you're going to get all the vowels instantly. It's going to tell you the vowels are in it. No, but then you've gone too vowel heavy. You've got to pull it back. You've got to find the perfect balance between the vowels and the consonants. So, does it come up only when it's the

right letter in the right place? That's green. Now, if it comes up yellow, that means that letter is in the word, but you've got it in the wrong spot. It's like the old game Mastermind. Oh, this is it. Which was like coloured dots. Okay, I could see myself doing this. Yeah, I could see me getting hooked on this. But once a day, I'll be like itching for it every day.

It's a good little way to get the brain started for the day. I'd imagine that'd be a great way if you were working in an office and everybody did it. Should we do it together? Or have you started on your own solo journey? Are we allowed in? Hayley and I allowed in? You can start today.

You can start your journey whenever you want. Jarrod, are we allowed to play on the team? I mean, I'm not going to be on the team. I'm a solo player. Oh, wait. You mean play as a unit? Yeah. That's cheating.

Fletch, do you want to pair up and be a little team? We'll pair up. We'll win. Stuff you all. Oh, I see what you're going to do. I've got a letter already. But then who's going to claim the win? Because only one of you can share the win.

But does anyone ever guess a word in a day? Is it possible? You got it yesterday I got it on my fourth out of six I'm going to get it I'm going to get it today I feel immensely confident Wordle

If this was like a survivory situation You just formed an alliance with like The absolute weirdo You're okay Words, no, no, no, no Unbelievable Are you hearing this? Words aren't his

Puzzles aren't his Unbelievable No patience No sort of like I've got no patience Critical thinking Words, no, no, no, no. Unbelievable. Are you hearing this? Words aren't his. Puzzles aren't his. Unbelievable. No patience. No sort of like. I've got no patience. Critical thinking. I'll just Google the answer. I've worked out with him though.

He's very strong. Physically, yes. This isn't a strength. It's not a physical challenge. This is not a physical challenge. Play. ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Thanks, Ash.

Five minutes past seven. Where the hell is Vaughn? He quit. No, he's over there. He's slowly walking. Do you think he's mad because he's not going to be on our Wordle team? That was his choice. He's just having early breakfast.

Oh, yeah, he was feeling a bit hungus today. And he can't do anything at pace. Here he comes. Here he comes. Like, no care in the world. Oh, backing in. You ready? Hello, darling.

You ready? I had, I had what I would describe, and I don't think this is an exaggeration, a porridge explosion. You always put it in the microwave

for too long. No, exactly the same amount of water, exactly the same amount of porridge, exactly the bowls here are very uniform. 40 seconds with boiling water. That's what I do. And it overflowed. No, it exploded. I heard bang just after you left.

It was like in the middle. It was like a mess. Yeah, I know. See, the bowl, the microwave was a shambles. I washed the glass bowl, but I'm not paid enough to clean up the rest of that mess. I think we need to get in that asbestos team. And with the little white suits and the masks and everything. It was like, boom.

It just went everywhere. Coming up on the show, you've got your father-in-law over. Yeah. You've got your father-in-law over. Yeah, and he managed to ruin quite a sweet sort of moment last night, as only he could. All right. Bridget joins us. Good morning, Bridget. Good morning.

Off to work this morning? Yep, off to work this morning. That's right. Okay, all right. Well, let's see if we can give you some free fuel to make that a little bit easier. A little bit sweeter. Yeah. Now, you've got to say stop before the fuel pump buzzes and cuts you off.

If that happens, you lose everything. You get nothing. Okay. You lose. Otherwise, you feel free to say stop at any dollar amount and you lock that in. That is yours to keep. Let's go. $20. $20.

$45. $85. $130. That was a big jump from $85 to $130. Yeah, $130, Bridget. What were you thinking going in? Anything over $100? Yeah, I kind of thought it cost about $110 to fill my tank,

so I was hopeful to get something over $100. I like that she's not greedy. I like that. All right, let's see how high it would have gone, Bridget. Okay, $155. Ah, yes. Oh, yeah, you did good. You did real good. Fantastic155. Ah, yes. Oh, yeah, you did good. You did real good.

Fantastic. Awesome. Well done, Bridget. $130 is all yours with ZMD Tank, and we'll do that all again at 8 o'clock. Listen out for the activator. Next in the show, Kiwi's love a bit of DIY, but are we doing this sort of DIY?

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. But are we doing this sort of DIY? This headline freaked me out. And then I've read more about it and I'm like, this is crazy. In the UK, one in five people are doing DIY dentistry. This includes extracting their own teeth. No. Do you mean like a wiggly tooth and you put a rope around it and you slam the door? Or a tooth that's bothering them, a toothache, a problematic tooth, they've been removing it. I've had a tooth removed.

It's not something you should do yourself. That sound I'll never forget. Same. If you could stomach getting like one of those, you know, what are they called? You clamp them on and then you tighten that thing. Yes. You know, it's a tool. It's like a wrench, but it's got a clamping vibe to it.

You can't put a wrench in your mouth. And you go, and then they tighten. Yay, yay, yay, and then get it out. So this is because a lot of dentists in the UK were NHS dentists, which meant you were entitled to free dental checkups. Right. Okay. There might be some costs incurred.

Incurred? Incurred. Incurred. Incurred. Incurred is when you incur a cost. Yeah. There might have been some costs incurred, but generally it was covered by the national health system.

Right. The health system. So lots of dentists are like, well, there's more money to be made being a private dentist and taking care of people who will just pay cash rather than getting into the NHSQ and being seen when it rolls around at a reduced rate. So a lot of dentists are changing to that. Add in COVID, there's been a horrific shortage of dental checkups and it's led to one in

five people doing their own at-home dentistry. Oh no. Now, one of the, because I was reading that, so I'm not even up to the part that horrified me the most. Oh, no. People are doing their own at-home fillings. You said what? So, I have now Googled at-home temporary filling kits and yes, you can buy them on Trade Me.

But you have to remove the decay. Correct. Yeah, you've got to get in there and get it all out. That's why they drill into your tooth to remove all the decay. Correct. Because if you just put a filling over the top of that, it's still going to eat away your tooth, right? Yes, it'll just keep doing it.

That's why when they're root canal, they take it all out. Yeah. So you can get a tempering lost filling repair kit for $34. And yeah, you plaster it on, like if your filling falls out or a crown,

you like plaster it on. It's supposed to just be a temporary measure. Yeah. But yeah, people are doing it at home because they can't get. That's bad.

Could you imagine like going to the dentist after you. How lumpy it would be. Yeah, it would be lumpy. And then you'd have to go to the dentist to fix it it would be Yeah it would be And then you'd have to Go to the dentist To fix it

And they'd just look at you Like you bought this online You'd be like Yeah it's Sealy's No more gaps That's what Same thing A hand drill

Yeah A high powered Makita Oh my god No I bought a new drill bit At least Got it all out And

I've done a little bit of At home DIY dentistry A little bit of at home DIY dentistry. A little bit not to that degree. I did use nail clippers. What? So I've straightened my teeth and then I had retaining wires. You know, they glue them to back of your teeth. They stay there

forever. Do they stay there forever? Yeah. Forever? Forever? Forever? Forever? I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. That? Forever? Forever? Forever never. I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. That's coming. That song coming up. Yeah, so they glue them on and they stay there forever.

But every now and then you'll, like, do something or whatever and it'll fall out or it'll start to, like, the edge will come away. You've got to get it removed. Things in your mouth are horrible. But they're glued on with that amazing glue that they then set with a blue light and all that kind of stuff. So you can't just sort of rip it off. So I got like a pair of nail clippers to sort of start pinching the end off. Because it was cutting my mouth apart and I couldn't get in to see the dentist.

So I ended up ripping that off. And I have used a nail file on one of my teeth. What for? Those sandpaper popsicle sticks. Yeah, like a, what do you call it? Nail file. Emery board. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because I've got, this is terrible. I think my dentist, Lumino Mount Eden, listens to Zeddy. Oh, they're not open yet. Well, you just gave them a plug too, so they should be able to take care of this emery board situation. This was a while ago, and I've had little sort of chips on my teeth before from various incidents and accidents.

And then I've had them sort of filled in. Like, you know, just fix a chip on your tooth. And then I remember once I chipped a little bit of that, so it looked a bit jagged. But it's just ever so slightly. And so you filed it down. So I just took a nail file and gave it a bit of a buff. Did it work?

Yeah. So you sanded your tooth down to make it smooth. Yeah, I just, I'm not paying to go in just to have this. No, because that's all they're going to do when they get there. But they've got a machine. I've got an inquiry board. It was manual. Yeah.

You're old school. Well, we want to open up the phone lines this morning and ask, have you ever done some DIY dentistry? Major or minor? If anyone's ever given themselves a filling, I will just be just in awe because to me, that is something that should be left to the profession. I mean, all of this should be. Or done an extraction.

Oh, yes. I bet lots of people have pulled out their own teeth. No, but when they're wiggly, maybe when you were young, you'd pull out your baby teeth. No, Oh, yeah. I bet lots of people have pulled out their own teeth. No, but when they're wiggly, maybe when you were young, you'd pull out your baby teeth. No, no, no. I reckon there'd be people calling

and be like, my old man wasn't paying. He had a busy day on the farm and he just ripped his own tooth out. He used to say,

old mates, they just pull their own teeth out. Oh, that's horrible. Well, 0800Diles.am, give us a call right now. You can text as well, 9696.

Have you ever done any DIY dentistry? One in five in the UK have resorted to DIY dentistry. And it's a cost really, isn't it? Or just not being able to get in during COVID. Well, yeah, it is the cost because it's always been sort of like a publicly provided thing. But the dentists are allocating more of their time to private clients who spend more money

rather than getting the government money. Is there a loophole? Could we re-enroll in school and be an adult student and then get free dentists again? Remember that? No, because that's an age thing that's under 18. Okay.

You could put on like a cute little sailor's outfit and travel into the dental nurse's office and be like, I don't know my ABCs. Hello. I have my check-ups. I don't, I don't, I'm an adultess. I do it very, very good to me.

Some messages in DIY dentistry. Yeah, we wanted to know if people are doing it here. And yes, yes they are. My dad super glued his tooth back in. It lasted a few years, I think. That came on Instagram from Carly. What, like Gorilla Glue? Just your standard...

Yeah, once he got over the taste, if it was still holding. Bit of Araldite. Technically, though, if your cap comes off, you know how you get the caps? If it comes off and you mouthwashed and you got the hairdryer and dried it, and then just glued it back on,

technically that's all they do. I don't think... You're using the word technically wrong. It would work, but definitely not technically. Not technically. Bit of my tooth broke off and left the remaining part of the tooth very sharp. Nothing like a good old emery board to fix it up.

So you're not the only one that's done it. It's the same thing. Sandpaper is sandpaper. A nail file is called an emery board. Yeah. Yes. I've never heard that before. I'm sure there's lots of different types of nail files.

But you know, your basic sort of paper one with the grish on it. Sandpaper. Sandpaper. Oh, okay. Grace messaged in saying, my dad back in the day got a wisdom tooth removed by somebody who was studying to be a dentist

at Otago for $10. Oh, bargain. Not in the dentistry school, just at someone's flat on the couch. On Castle Street. Yeah, props. On a couch that was very soon after set on fire. And then just pour some Christoph vodka down just to sterilise. Vodka sterilises.

And painkiller. That's a twofer. That's a twofer. Callie, you did some DIY dentistry or your dad did? My dad did. So he's done it a couple of times now. Kiwi ingenuity. Yeah, he's got

a story like Carly who messaged in on Instagram and when my mum was actually in labour with me, he sort of freaked out went to the dairy and bought one of those caramel, those chocolate-covered caramels. Pixie caramel! Pixie caramel!

Oh, how good was the pixie caramel? Do they not do those anymore? I haven't seen a pixie caramel for years. No, they do, don't they? Surely. I'll investigate. Carry on, Kelly. Carry on.

So he bit into that and his tooth ended up coming out with the bite. And same thing, dropped mum at the hospital to give birth to me, went home and superglued it back in. And it did last for many, many years after that. Wow. But coming up to my 20th birth, he had a bit of a chipped tooth and he knew that he'd have to give a speech. And he was a bit worried that people would see that.

So I caught him in the bathroom with the pliers and he was trying to get it out himself and he ended up just snapping it and it looked way worse. Oh my God! So we had a chip tooth. He's like, aha, they'll notice my chip tooth, but they won't notice the gaping hole in my line up of teeth. I'll remove it.

Is your dad just the hardest man alive? Well, I think after that, I really think so. It was a journey with him. And yeah, you're right. I don't know how he thought that taking it out would look any better. But he still gave the speech. But in the video, it's noticeable that he's personally worked a bit to cover it now. My daughter Kelly makes us so proud.

Amazing. When he glued his tooth back in, when you were being born, did he glue tooth straight to gum? No, I think it must have come loose, and he's just sort of put it where the roots are, I guess. Far out. Pouring it into the root system. I think our next, we should do a thing where we talk to dentists about the

The worst things they've seen. The worst things they've seen, because that would be amazing. Kelly, thank you. By the way, pixie caramels are still a thing. Yeah, $1.69 for a 50 gram. Oh, I'm on the Pack and Save website. It's 99 cents at the moment. Extra low. It must be on special

this week. Free plug there. Cameron, good morning. You did some DIY dentistry. Yes, good morning, guys. Sorry. So, I went to the dentist for a checkup a few years ago, just probably the week after I turned 18. Yeah.

I was pretty stinging and I didn't want to pay it, but I did. Yeah. And he says I need full wisdoms removed. And I said, no, I'm not paying that. So I dealt with it. And then after a while, my wisdoms got sharp. So I ended up tipping the top of my wisdoms off with a knife, with a butter knife. Oh my God. A butter knife!

Cameron, Cameron, Cameron. Also, aren't wisdom teeth meant to be surgically removed? One of mine had to be quite... Oh, mine was very aggressive. It depends on the type of wisdom, because you get that underbite which goes up the gum, then you go up, and then you

go left, and then it goes right. So you Googled googled you did some googling you've done your research yeah yeah of course okay you took the you took the edge off your wisdom teeth with a butter knife yeah and what was the outcome and sorted yeah that's it it's not sharp anymore so i don't cut my tongue or my gums or anything okay and you haven't gone to a dentist since no because i don't cut my tongue or my gums or anything. Okay, and you haven't gone to a dentist since? No, because I don't want to pay $300, $400 a tooth. Yeah, nah, don't. Wait, wait, wait, where's your dentist? Because it's so much more than that.

Yeah. It is so much more than that. $300 a tooth, you're dreaming. No, I'm in Silverstone. I'm in Upper Hutt in Wellington with Community Services Cat. Okay, so it's a little bit cheaper. Because I was going to say, those are almost Thailand prices, aren't they? Yeah. You probably get all your wisdom for like $500 over there.

Yeah. RIP travel. Cameron, thank you for that. Some messages in. DIY dentistry. A guy we went to high school with returned from holidays with his front teeth filed to points like a vampire. We said, what's happened?

He's like, I did it myself because I'm a vampire. And we said, you know, vampires' sharp teeth are their canines, not their front teeth. He was a snake. Yeah. He was much more of a, even snakes are a little. Oh, the canines. Why would you do that?

You're just like a vamp beaver at this stage. My dude, there's no undoing that. That's no good. Is it? My dad pulled all of his teeth out when he was young. He had been told he needed to go and have some teeth extracted, but he didn't have time off the farm for visiting the murder house. And he also bought false teeth off Trade Me to save time.

One size fits all. But is it like when you got a mouth guard when you were a kid for sport and you'd put it in hot water and then it'd mould to your teeth. Is that how those ones work? That's ridiculous. Jeepers, creepers. I mean, there's just so many stories and it all, I tell you what, it's all got in common.

Yeah. Dudes. Yeah, wanting to save some money. My wife's brother, my uncle, my dad. But they're also the same kind of people that would probably happily spend quite a bit of money, the same amount of money on toys or cars or... Computers. Oh, absolutely. 100%.

But those things are fun. Chewing's not bad. You only get one set of teeth in life. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Ricky Gervais, great comedian, but I think it might be his finest work, the TV show Afterlife. I love it.

I mean, The Office is legendary. Let's not say his finest work. The Office. No, Extras. No, I think Afterlife is brilliant because it's funny, but it's also very sad and emotional. Very emotional.

Very sad. It's the whole spectrum of emotions, isn't it? Yeah. It gets you. The other ones were just like really funny, really well done. I had no idea this third season was out. I'm going to binge it immediately tonight. It's out. Get ready

to cry. Well, last night we watched the first couple of episodes. Right. And for those that haven't seen it, it's about a man whose wife dies. He loses his wife to cancer. And six episodes each season. So you wouldn't

take long to get into it and watch it all. Very emotional. The final episode of every season will get you. Still classic Gervais funny too though. Yeah. I will warn though this

it's emotional but fraught with language. Oh, yeah, yeah. My mum would like the idea of it, but couldn't sit through the language. Oh, you can't say that. Why does he have to do that? He does. Yeah, why does he have to say that?

Why did he have to use that word? That's even the tone my mum would say to him. That's a lovely show, but why did he have to use that word? What a shame. So we were watching last night Shade's dad staying with us for a couple of nights and Shade was like, it's so like every time it surprises you how third season, still so emotional. Yeah.

God, it makes you so sad. It makes you think of things when you're kind of talking about it. And then Shade's dad said, no need to be upset. He will have made tons of money off this. That's not what we're talking about. You're missing the point. Yeah. He is so rich.

He's not really sad. He's playing a character. Explains to me how acting works, but then also just says, don't feel sorry for him. He's worth millions. Yeah. And then we kept watching it and then he's like, how many millions do you think he's worth? And it just derailed the entire sincere feeling.

To be fair though, 140 million. US dollars. Yeah. Is his worth. Okay, I'm not saying anything. It's going to be hard to be certain. You know what I mean? I don't think I could even squeeze out a single tear

if I had $140 million in the bank account. I'm so sad. Nope, nothing. Well, if you're hoping that 2022 is the year that you get engaged, I've got... Wow, that's so beautiful. that you get engaged. I've got, wow, that's so beautiful. Thank you, Jared.

I've got the top five signs that your partner might be about to propose. Pop the old big question. Is one of them quite a big electronic transaction at a jewellery store? Well, that's what gave it away for me. Wait, did you know before? I saw a massive transaction being transferred from our account

to his account. But then eight months, it took eight months after. Oh. And it was the ring. Did you question that transaction? No. Over that eight months?

Have you not seen love actually? No. Yeah, yes I have. Why? He could have Rickman'd you. He could have taken your money and spent it on another quaman. I didn't think about that.

Aaron doesn't have the ability to Rickman me. That's what Rickman does. He would never cheat. That's the perfect Rickman. No, he's not. He doesn't have it together enough. He couldn't manage it.

Right. He couldn't manage it all. So how did he propose to you, your fiance now? How did he do it? Well, looking at this list, none of these really worked. Oh, one of them is.

So I'll go through the list and see if it relates to me, and then I'll tell you my story. Number one is timing. So looking out for things like, is it Valentine's Day, Christmas, an anniversary, or your birthday? Okay. So you're going, like, timing is key. If they're starting to act a bit funny around that time,

could be that they're going to do that. Another one is, are they talking to your family more often? Having private conversations perhaps with your father that they haven't had before, you know, on the phone. Because you're meant to ask the father for permission. You are. But is that kind of, do you think that's done as much now? I don't know that you need to ask the father.

Maybe run it past the family. Yeah. I don't know. Number three on the list, have they planned a trip away? Oh, okay. Have they planned a trip away? You know,

let's just get it, let's get out of town. Vance, the minute you're going out with someone for about three or four years, when you start going away on like romantic weekends, everyone,

the minute you leave, all your friends are like, it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Aaron and I were together for nine years, nearly ten years before he proposed. And every time we walked up a beautiful mountain, every time I looked at a beautiful sunset, I thought, come on, dude.

Yeah, yeah, come on, dude. Come on. It's picture perfect. Beautiful romantic trip in Thailand. Are you serious? Yeah. On the plane back, I was like, dude. Number two on the list is camera ready.

Maybe they've done something like book you an appointment to get your hair and nails done so that you're feeling nice and beautiful. This did not apply to me. No, I would never have thought to do that. Yeah, absolutely. And the other one, this is a bit of an odd one, dress to impress.

So if they're taking you out on a date, are they looking particularly sharp on that night? Right. But this is also assuming there's going to be lots of photos. This is. Like a photographer. Feels slightly Americanised to me, this list. My experience was nothing like this at all.

It was my birthday, so that's on this list. So that is on the list, yeah. It was my birthday. I mean, the timing thing was off. He was about seven years too late, I'd say, at this point. I was quite impatient with it. I'd pushed for it. Yeah, eight months prior, I'd seen a large transaction out of our bank account,

and I sort of imagined it was for a ring. Yeah. And then it never came. And then Aaron gave me a necklace for my birthday, and I was like, oh, I love it. And I was looking at the necklace. He said, I've got something else for you. And then he went out and he came back in. He had a small hand towel

on his head and it was in his undies. And I was like, what is happening? Is the gift your magnificent body? And it wasn't. Then he got down on one knee. What was the hand towel on the head for? Was he sweating? Why was it in his undies? I think

the whole scenario was too serious for him. So he wanted to make it a bit more silly. Right. By putting it down on his head. That's the man I love. Classic Rickman. Classic Rickman here. Yeah.

Did you ever check that the value of the ring married up to exactly how much was put out of your account? Yeah, I did. I knew who the jeweler was. So you did run into it? So I looked and I was like, ah, it's what that was. There it is. And then I felt

slightly aggressive maybe the next day that it had taken eight months of just sitting in a drawer. Yeah, right. And me begging, begging for it.

Do you know if it always planned for on your birthday? No. No, just? No, in fact, I know he did it on a whim. He did it on a whim that he did it on a whim. I think

he'd been at work or something. He's going to be listening going, you're sharing too much of our life. He did it on a whim. He'd been working and then he said to his workmates, I might propose tonight. Oh, okay. What? It's not going to air. I might propose tonight.

Got the ring. It's just sitting there. Anyway, look out for those signs and it could be a ring on your finger. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. All I ever want for Christmas, all I want for Christmas is vouchers. And I do. I'm big on that too. I want for nothing. You know, we don't need any more stuff in our life.

And so we've always been like vouchers, vouchers, vouchers. And then when you need something, you've got the voucher love a prezzy card love a bunnings voucher and i got for christmas for my mother-in-law a lovely chemist warehouse voucher and to some amazing And the free gift, Hyundai. A lot of good things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm a big vitamin popper. You know, I love my pills. I could easily spend a $100 voucher there. I'd get myself an Ariana Grande fragrance. Yeah, something nice. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm absolutely going to use this.

And I didn't want to use it on something boring like moisturizer or, you know, your vitamins C. And I went in and I was perusing the aisles. At late night, it was like 10 minutes to them closing, and I was like, I really feel like spending this. And I saw a water flosser. A water flosser? A water flosser. And I was like, I've heard of these.

And I famously, you'll learn this about me, have quite tight teeth. Right. Okay. If you listen to that. Well, when we were talking previously an hour ago about DIY dentistry and you said that you nail filed your teeth down, I did look at your teeth and I thought they're very close. Aren't they very adjacent?

I'm very particular with my teeth. You're sort of like the Hewn Bay of teeth. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Like quite densely. High density area. High density. The houses are very close together.

I thought you meant because they look sort of fancy and white. That too, yeah. But no, that's okay. But yes, I've got very tight teeth and I've got the wires

on the backs of my upper and lower teeth. So flossing, you have to use those little... Those are all of your teeth. You've just said I've got the back

and the upper... No, the fronts of them. Right. Not the whole way. Oh, just the front bit. Oh, okay. I've seen the water flossers. They always have a stand and they've got the electric toothbrushes and the water flossers.

And they're fancy. They're expensive. And they squirt water so hard that it goes between your teeth and you don't need to use a string. Exactly. So they're like super high pressured water and you fill it up and you click it on and you push the button and it goes

and you put it along your teeth and it just like squirts water so hard between your teeth that all the blows all the gunk out. The gunk comes out.

Is that better than a traditional floss? Easier? What's the pro? What's the revanche? Because how much of your $100 voucher did you spend on this thing?

I had to add some. You added a little bit. What? It was $120. It was expensive. So you got a $20 flosser. I got a $20 flosser, thanks to my mother-in-law. But I didn't know how to use it at first.

Because you know when the dentist uses it, you're back, and they squirt the water in your mouth. I haven't been to the dentist for so long that last time I went, they did an ear, they were doing ear squirts. Yeah, they use air. Ear squirts. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I think you mean they put it in your ear.

I went to the dentist back in the 1800s. It was all connected. And you had a foot pedal to power the drill. Yeah. Yeah, that's how long ago it was. Oh, you had to pedal your own drill. Right. Yeah, but it works.

But I didn't, you know, so you're lying there usually at the dentist and then you gurgle and you spit it out. But I didn't realise it first, so I sort of squirted it with my mouth open and obviously your mouth just fills with water and it all dribbled everywhere. So you've got to kind of like close your mouth. Yeah. Could you do it in the shower? Yeah, you could.

And then you just pull it out. Is it waterproof? Yeah, that's my favourite place to do it. Even then all your little bits are going to dribble out in the shower, aren't they? Yeah, in the bugger. Little bits of pasta and stuff. You thought it was a pasta. The one thing that doesn't get stuck in your teeth,

you could have used like steak or corn or anything. Coriander. If pasta is getting stuck in your teeth, you've got big problems. You've got big gaps. Have you not had a macaroni elbow between two teeth? I have not. I've had a macaroni elbow straddle my teeth and just, you know, like go over the whole thing. Well, when I brought this up off air, you were quite interested to try it, Fletch.

And then you were like, do you share heads? But it's got removable heads. So you and Aaron are using the same base but different heads. Same base. Why don't you share a head? You can do it. Electric toothbrushes have that. You have the heads that come off.

Yeah, it's just a bit intimate for me. But you kiss, I assume you guys are still kissing. Nah, 11 years in. 11 years in. The odd kiss. We wave a bit. Yeah.

We try not to ignore each other every day. A firm handshake is all we need before bed. Right. COVID. I don't want to put his mouth squirter in my mouth. Would you recommend the mouth squirter? You don't want to put his squirter in your mouth.

Don't misquote me, Vaughn. And it's your chance all this week to win free fuel. Every hour, 7 o'clock and 8. We do this. Good morning, Crystal. Morning, guys. Morning. How's your morning been so far? It's good.

Just filled with two boys that haven't been at school in a long time. Oh, yeah. I can't believe everyone I've been talking to, I can't believe how late kids go back to school. I don't think it's changed, Hayley. I know, but I was the kid back then. Now that I'm finally an adult at 32. I don't think it's changed, Hayley. I know, but I was the kid back then. Now that I'm finally an adult at 32, I can't believe it.

It's always exciting though, this time of year getting stationary. Did you get Duracell? Duracell. I used to do the clear Duracell and then DIY. Just put white paper and put all my magazine clips. Okay, do you do Duracell crystal? I haven't done Duracell but I've heard it's a lot harder to do it.

Oh, it's horrendous. Yeah, I used to, you know, get mum to do it for me. That was fun. Oh, I used to do my own, and I was pretty good with no bubbles. No bubbles? Yeah, I was pretty good. You should have been a sign writer. I've missed my calling.

I've missed my calling. All right, well, Crystal, your chance to win some free fuel now. You've just got to say stop before the fuel pump buzzes and cuts you off. If that happens, you lose. You're out.

But you can say stop at any stage and that cash, that fuel amount, is yours. Let's go. $5. $35.

$35. $60. $90. Stop. Oh, girl. You went low. Those noises freak me out every time. I'm out. You're scaring me.

Stop. Like a Christopher Nolan movie. $90, though. That'll get you. That is a good trip. Yeah. Let's see how high it would have gone, Crystal. Okay.

Oh! What? Are you psychic? Amazing. You were literally a second away from losing that fuel. Oh, thank you so much. That's awesome. Congratulations.

All right. 90 bucks. Lock it in. We'll sort that out. And another chance for you to win that free fuel tomorrow morning at 7 and again at 8. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I feel like it's quite a common thing to do to go on a date,

a first date in particular, and have a sort of backup plan if it's going really bad. A way to get out quickly. Like an escape plan. An escape plan. I even had an escape plan if it's going really bad. A way to get out quickly. Like an escape plan. An escape plan. I even had an escape plan on my first date with Aaron. I had made flatmates and I said, I'll text you if it's going really badly and you can come up with some excuse and I'll leave.

Okay. I came home two days later. Hey you! And now you're engaged. And now we're getting married. Yeah, wow. But a woman has taken to TikTok. She said she was said she described it as

the worst effing date I've ever been on in my life and needed rescuing. But she didn't have a pre-planned backup plan. So what she did was go to the toilet and concoct this plan and text her friend and said, can you

send me a fake COVID positive test and text it to me in like five minutes? Well, that thing you get from the government. When you do a test and it's like, you, please isolate. Immediately isolate. Get a test. So before she came back from the toilet, she changed her friend's name in her phone to

NHS PCR test. Oh, so this is in the UK. Right. Okay. to NHS PCR test to make it believable. Oh, so this is in the UK, right, okay. And the text said, your coronavirus lateral flow test result was positive. It's likely you are infectious. Find out more at nhs.uk, blah, blah, blah, blah,

and self-isolate immediately. So she had planned this. She got back to the table. Her friend texted her this message. It came up and she went, oh my gosh, I've got COVID. Showed it to him. But do you feel a little bad for the guy now? Because he's obviously going to have to isolate too, right?

That's the thing. I go like, get yourself out of a date if you need to. I'd choose honesty as the best policy. But yeah, he would have to go, okay, well, I've probably been exposed. He'd have to go and isolate, get a test as well, wait for the results. But he's in the UK, so there's a high chance he already had COVID anyway. She probably didn't have to lie. She probably got it as well.

Or that they don't care and they'll just go to work anyway. What did she say was so bad about this date? No, she just said it was. Because if it just like wasn't a personality match, that's a bit stink. But if it was like a real piece of work, who cares? Who cares? There's a lot of mixed feedback on this like a real piece of work who cares who cares there's a lot of mixed feedback on this

like a lot of people are saying like this is genius I'm going to have to use this have this one at my slave a lot of people

are saying yeah it's pretty bad now he's now isolating for seven days if I worked in a bar or a restaurant and someone came up to me and said

I need you to be part of this elaborate plan to get out I would I'd be like this is fun this is really fun this is spicing up work I'd be like leave it with me and said, I need you to be part of this elaborate plan to get out. I'd be like, this is fun. This is really fun. This is spicing up work.

I'd be like, leave it with me. And then I'd come into the restaurant and be like, is there a Hayley here? And you're like. That's me. That's me. I've got terrible news. Oh my God, tell me, sir. Your house is on fire.

The fire brigade called here because they saw on your whiteboard planner that you were coming here. Oh, no, I must leave immediately. You better get out of here. Your house is on fire. I'm so sorry, Fletch. I have to leave. Oh, my God.

Are you Fletch? Your house is on fire too. They just called. The brigade? The brigade. But I don't have a whiteboard planner. No, they saw that you were with Hayley and the two and two together. Right, okay.

It's very, this is a very creative way. Then you get home and I've actually set your house on fire as well. I'm like, no, you followed through too much. I go full method on these things. Method acting. They call me the Jared Leto of restaurant excuses. Yeah, this is pretty interesting and like if you go,

oh, my cat's dead or my auntie died or something like that. But this is a very creative way of doing it. And we want to know this morning what excuse you've used to get out of a date.

Maybe you had some friends call you and say someone was dead or text. Maybe you're like, oh you and say someone was dead or text. Maybe you're like, I've got terrible IBS. I must leave. Yeah. An illness. Yeah.

Or have you like got the people who work at the bar in on it? To get in on it, yeah. This is not going well. How elaborate or just easy was it to get out of a date? Because, I mean, you can just say, hey, all right, I'm going to head off now. Really lovely to meet you. You can do that. What if it's so bad

you don't even want to stick out the meal and the meal's just arrived? Oh, right. Do you know what I mean? So you'd even, if it was that bad, you'd jettison a meal.

Because you couldn't just sort of sit down and be like, mid-meal, be like, I'm really not having a good time. You'd wait till after the meal.

You'd doggy bag it. Oh, you'd doggy bag it. And then you'd go, doggy bag, please. That's how you announce that the date's over. Can I get this takeaway? This is confusing.

You're like, oh, I'm just about to leave. Okay, well, give us a call if you've done this. 0800DARLS.M. You can text as well, 9696. What excuse did you use to get out of a date? A woman in the UK used a fake COVID positive test result to get out of a date that was going terribly. She got a friend to sort of text in and say she was positive

so that she could leave the date immediately. And we wanted to know from you if you've ever used an excuse to leave a date. What extremes did you go to? How was it set up? How dramatic. Yeah. Some text messages and some great messages.

And some great ideas. This is a sure life. This is some great messages. And some great ideas. This is a sure, sure line. Yeah, this is really great. If we ever head back into the dating world. Crowdsourcing ideas for people listening right now. I was more taken as like people listening could have excuses. I wasn't. Like, that makes it sound like you're already on the way.

Yeah, I'm all over the show. I've talked about my engagement. Now I'm thinking about leaving it. You're calling it off. So some text messages in. I made my friends come into the bar to extract me. Oh, so they've gone for extraction.

Now my friend and the guy that she extracted me from are dating. That's a good story. That's a good story for the grandkids. If you don't want them, have at them. Yeah, true. Have at them. Oh, that's the wrong choice of words.

It's not about a leftover pudding, mate. You have a hoon. They're like, oh, I can't finish that, but you have at. You have those leftover potatoes. You look at people like food. You do. That's the problem. That's why you can't finish.

You devour people. Yes. Someone said, I literally just said to the guy, I have run out of conversation topics. See, I love that. Honestly, I have no other things to talk about. I have no other areas of any interest to talk about. Greer, what was the excuse

you used to get out of a date? So I planned a Tinder date and before I'd even gone on the date, I decided I saw a few red flags, so I didn't want to go anymore. So I told him that my mum didn't like being home by herself, and I had to stay home with her because my dad was at work. Why not blame mum?

And then just unfollow him and then done. Yeah, just disappeared. Turns out I knew him through his brother, though, so that was a little unfortunate. He still sees me on Facebook. That's pretty painless, though. You're not really hurting the person. Exactly.

Thanks for your call. Sheila, what did you do to get out of a date? I told a date that I had a private investigator following me and I'd just seen him sitting in the corner of the pub. Why was a private investigator following you? He wasn't. Well, he was, actually. I was in the process of a divorce.

This is going back, you know, when we were still writing on stone tablets, so there was no mobile phones and no escape plan. And a friend had told me that my ex-husband had got a private investigator following me just to use in the divorce. And I was on this date with a bloke who was, he must have told me four times that my hair smelled nice, which was a bit weird. Oh, no, but to be fair, sometimes...

He sat there staring at me. Sometimes hair does smell nice, Sheila. I know, but say it once, but to be fair, sometimes... They're staring at me. It does smell nice, Sheila. Say it once and get it out of you. Sheila, what was the shampoo at the time? Do you remember? Oh, do you know? I think it was Schwarzkopf. Oh, yes.

Your Moroccan oil. Of course it was. So what did this guy say when you said there's a private investigator watching us? He said, oh. Oh, okay. And then did you say, well, I better leave? Oh, and I went, yeah, I've got to have to go because, you know,

I can't afford any scandal or something like that. Yeah, right. As I say, this was, you know, several years ago. Did you give him one last sniff of the Schwarzkopf? No, I did not. I probably flicked my hair as I left. Give him one last whiff. Leave him wanting more.

Sheila, thanks. You called Myron. How did you get out of a date? So, I had met a guy on Tinder. We were connecting on everything. So, we had set up a date. So, I said, we'll go to this nice restaurant where I work. We were connecting on everything. So we had set up a date. So I said, we'll go to this nice restaurant where I work.

I happen to work there. So I went to my chef and said, if the date isn't going as good as it is, if it's not going to plan, I'll give you a certain signal. It wasn't going to plan, so I gave him a signal. He brought out a chicken, which I had ordered,

but he had cooked it just under. What? Byron. Byron. You poisoned yourself. Kind of, kind of, but it wasn't. This could have taken a day to kick in. This is slow poisoning, Byron.

It seems like you could have called the date off and then gone home and been like, but now you call the date off, then gone home and been like, phew, but now you call the date off, you go home and you're like... So we kind of, because it was quite a fancy restaurant. It was probably three years ago. It was down Hamlet Springs. I won't name the restaurant.

How many restaurants is Hamlet Springs? I had to go from Hamlet Springs because the closest hospital is Close Church. Wait, you went to the hospital? You don't need a hospital immediately after eating raw chicken. It depends on how raw. Yeah. Can the gays just tone it down a bit? Wait, does everything have to be dramatic?

Byron, you didn't just leave the restaurant. You left the town. I did. You left the calling code. You left your switch districts. Technically, the calling code is the entire South Island. I want to know. Right, I guess you're O3.

What were the following couple of days like for you? I was in hospital for the following days. What is wrong with you? One chef agreed to this. That is a wild story, Byron. I hope you never have to do that again. Thank you. Some messages in.

I'm a firefighter and I was in Wellington on a date with a guy and he was just really weird. So I texted my friend saying, I need you to call the fire station I work at and get them to ping my page. Amazing. So they did. Do they still use pages? Some do, yeah. This is very 90s, isn't it? Very 90s.

Surely a cell phone call would suffice. I don't know if firefighters have a business phone. So maybe it's a business pager and a personal phone. Pagers have better reception. Yeah. Is that a thing? I don't know. They need less reception.

It's 2022. It just seems like an automated call or text would be fine. If I went on a date and the man had a pager on his belt, that's a red flag. I would assume it's very important. I told my date that my security camera was picking up someone hurting my cat, so I needed to run home ASAP. Hurting?

Hurting. Oh. Hurting? I thought someone had broken into the backyard and was like. Hurting cats. Come on. In you go, in you go. Yeah.

I, on a date once, said, put your hand up if you're enjoying the date, and then didn't put my hand up. Oh, my God. That's really passive-aggressive. That's really catty. Yeah. That's really something.

Put your hand. Hey, here's a fun game. Cell phone towers aren't as reliable as the paging network. Thank you. That is from someone who still rocks the pager. I've never seen a paging tower. And why are we spending thousands of dollars on phones that don't have the same capability as the 90s pager? As an old pager.

Well, you can't check your Facebook on a pager, can you? No. You look and it's like, your mum's just shared a picture of a ranger over there. She can win. You're like, great use of the pager. Yeah. People call off dates.

Do it. Get out of there. Great ideas there. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Wow. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- People buried there. Oscar Wilde. Jim Morrison of the Doors. Chopin is buried there. Frédéric Chompon. That was, I remember going there and I was looking for old Morrison's grave and you followed the distinct smell of weed to find his grave.

Go to Jim Morrison's grave and smoke weed. And there was a guy there having a little marijuana and a can of beer and having a cry. But you went to a gravesite on holiday. That's weird. It's a very famous cemetery. Oh, it's still winning. Many amazing cemeteries.

Really? Yeah, gravesites and stuff. I'm a big Chopin girl. So this is about someone that's buried in there. Okay. Victor Noir, who you may not have heard of, but he was a journalist. Okay. And he worked for a newspaper that published a very critical piece about Napoleon Bonaparte. You know, the little man.

The wee boy. They printed a very controversial piece of which the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte, Pierre Bonaparte, took horrific offense. And he challenged the editor of the newspaper, Parchal, to a duel. Oh. Or swords. Guns or swords? Guns. Oh, I assumed guns.

I assumed swords when you said duel. What year was this? The 1800s? I'd imagine sword. It could be either. It could be either. So Pachal Grosso, the editor, said, sure,

I'll sort this out. And he sent some of his men, his journalists, to sort this out. Amongst them, Victor Noir. Now, when they got there, an altercation broke out. Guns were fired. That's why I thought it was a pistol-based duel. Not a sword. Guns were fired and Victor Noir

was killed. Now, this is an exact, this was, the people of France were furious that a member of the royal family had killed a journalist because it looked like that they were losing their free speech. Right. Because they had published a piece on Napoleon. Yeah. And the result was a journalist being killed. So there were like demonstrations about this and everything. So much so that his gravesite was given a brass statue. He was considered such an influential piece that they commissioned an artist to mark his

grave with a bronze statue. The artist decided that the statue on top would be of Victor Noir at time of death. So he's like flat out, fully dressed, flat out, hat beside him as he fell in the streets. It was a pistol, Jill. It was a pistol, Jill. That he challenged him to.

Well, one thing that people started to notice about Victor Noir's brass statue is that the artist had given him a big bulge. Really? A larger than normal. Is this today's fact of the day? Pants bulge. I think we're on a journey. We're getting there.

We're getting there. We're getting there. People going to this cemetery, I'm just going to say all the famous people buried there, started noticing the big bulge in his pants. Was he wearing track pants? He was wearing those pants everybody wore. Tracks.

It's a great, great track pants. It wasn't a great track pants challenge, but if he was alive today, I fear he would do very well in the great track pants challenge. Okay, right, yeah. He's well endowed. It's hanging to the left. It's going down the left leg of the pant. Okay.

What? I said my preference. I don't know why. The preference that you tuck yours on the side of. It was large. And you will see here, Omer, now I'm about to show you a photo. Okay. You'll also notice how shiny it is compared to the rest of the statue.

Oh, no. Because it's... Oh, yeah, it's quite pronounced, isn't it? It's very pronounced and often rubbed. So the nose, the chin, and the... Bulge. Bulge. Very, yes, significantly shinier than the rest of the statue that has aged.

Yeah. Because, you know, when that kind of ages, it goes like that greeny colour, doesn't it? Greeny, yes. The reason being, because of his big bulge. Pigeons nest in there and they nuzzle in. No, pigeons aren't involved. Okay. He has become a fertility symbol.

And it is said if you're a lady in Paris struggling to conceive a baby, you should go and visit the statue of Victor Noir. Just rub one out on. Put a flower in his hat. Okay. Kiss him on the lips and rub the bulge in his pants. Wow. Wow.

And that's why it's so polished. Yes. So if you are single, but you're not yet ready to be pregnant. Don't touch it. No. You go. Do touch it. And again, you put a flower in his hat, kiss him on the lips,

and rub his bulge, and it will give you a very beautiful lover. If you want to have twins, you should touch his left foot. If you're just happy with any baby, touch his right foot. I don't know. Maybe next time I go to Paris. Yeah. So it became so problematic they put a fence around the statue.

Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will result in prosecution. There was public outcry and the fence has since been taken down. So you can again rub the very generous bulge of Victor Noir. Have we got an equivalent here? Has anybody seen the bulge of Victor Noir.

Have we got an equivalent here? Has anybody seen the bulge on James Cook? I haven't noticed it. Captain Cook. Where's the Cook statue? I don't know. I'm just assuming there would be one. There would be one somewhere.

What about the Michael? Up at Bastion Point, is there a Michael Joseph Savage statue or just a memorial? I haven't seen the bulge on that. What about the solace in the wind in Wellington? Has he got a bulge? Who's the solace in the wind in Wellington? Oh, he haven't seen the bulge yet. I haven't seen the bulge yet, Matt. What about the solace in the wind in Wellington? Has he got a bulge? Who's the solace in the wind in Wellington? Oh, he leans in.

He's got the bum, the buttocks are out. He's got a lovely set of buttocks. You'd have to hang around him to... You'd have to hang around. Well, be careful. I don't want anybody falling into the water. I don't want anyone. Yeah, it's not worth it.

Small price to pay, though, for pregnancy. Absolutely. If you're struggling. So today's fact of the day is there is a tombstone statue in Paris that if you believe in the myth, give it a kiss, place a flower on his hat and rub his bulge through his pants and touch his feet, you'll get pregnant. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I've been crying. I've been crying every day. Maybe it's adjusting to the new hours. Right. Maybe it's adjusting to I'm trying not to drink during the week. I lasted till last night on that. Wow, good for you. I lasted one night.

I don't have a problem with not drinking during the week or even the weekends. I don't need alcohol to numb the pain of day-to-day living. Oh, sorry. Look at my liver. Alcohol is my fuel. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It was Monday. I sat down and I was watching Chair and there was a moment where she described

how this year's choreography was some of the best I've ever done. And she said... Same coach as first season of Chair? Same coach, different choreographer. Oh, ouch. And she said this year, it's been some of the best. She said, I could cry just thinking about it. And the moment she said it, I went...

And out came tears. Really said, I could cry just thinking about it. And the moment she said it, I went and out came tears. Really? I had a little cry. Then I got into my car and I went down to the shops and Rhinestone Cowboy came on. The song. I'm a rock in these streets alone. He's walking the streets alone.

Singing the same old song. I know every crack in these dirty... That is a great song. Can you just do the chorus? Like a rhinestone cowboy. Riding out on a horse in a Star Spangled Rodeo. And that made you cry?

Instantly. This poor rhinestone cowboy. Because he's alone. Walking the streets alone. He knows every crack in these sidewalks of Broadway. That made me really emotional thinking of that poor rhinestone cowboy. Oh my god. Yesterday, what kicked me off?

Oh, yesterday I went home and I had a Zoom meeting with a new nutritionist. I've got some stomach, some gut health issues that have been plaguing me for a number of years. And I'm sick of it. And I got on and it's chirpy, chirpy. We've never met. Anyway, so Hayley, why don't you just sort of start at the start and tell me what's been going on. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.

I thought I wasn't going to do this. Oh, my God. I have got a question, and I don't know if it's a question. I feel like I can ask this question. I love the crying voice. Yeah, I just am. Yeah, I feel like I can't really. Oh, sorry.

I'll just give it a little tissue. I love the fart in the tears voice. Are you upset? No. She said to me, she was like, honestly, I understand, you know, let it out, let it out. But I couldn't pull it together. And then I couldn't stop sniffing the whole time. And then all I was thinking was she was thinking COVID.

I was like, no, no, I've cried. Bring back the days where someone sniffing incessantly meant they probably had a cocaine problem, eh? Yeah. Sure. Are you... Is there a possibility of pregnancy? a cocaine problem, eh? Yeah. Sure. Are you... Pardon? Are you... Is there a possibility

of pregnancy? Ask it. Okay, that's angry. Wow, ask it. So I'm getting a whole... I've been there twice. I can see... It's a real turbulent ocean,

the old pregnancy. See? Right. Is it... Pardon? Huh? It's a turbulent ocean. I am not pregnant.

And I fully understand why. You're not, but people are growing. Humans are. The hormones are going all over the place. I know this because I checked. Was this crying? Same thing crossed my mind. I thought I'm overly emotional and I'm having gut health issues.

Or is it just a baby in there? No, I'm not pregnant. Right, so did you go to the supermarket? Went to the supermarket. I wasn't going to tell this story. Let me just say, I'm not pregnant. If I was pregnant, that would be fine. Not trying to get pregnant. But I was like, I've been very emotional for a long time now

and having quite severe gut health issues. I've just shared, three days in, I've shared way too much about my life. Anyway, I went to go get a pregnancy test. And, you know, like I don't know what it is about getting one that you just sort of get all sheepish suddenly. What, like buying it? Yeah, buying it. Like buying like lube or.

And they put it right next to the lube. So either way you can't, you're either, you know. It's the before and after. It's the shame section though, isn't it? It is the shame section. And I walked down to the aisle at the shame section. And at the other end of the aisle, a woman was just approaching shame section. And I was like, okay.

And then she was doing exactly what I was doing, looking at the chapstick, chapstick, chapstick, but then sort of flicking her eyes up at the tests. And I was thinking, babe, just grab one, just grab one. But I got closer. And then I was like, well, I don't want her to feel my energy behind her yeah so that she's too scared I wanted to get her box and get out and I'll get my box and we'll leave yeah good luck to her good luck to me fingers crossed either way whatever way your fingers whatever way she wants it it's okay

and then I tried she was taking forever because she was in the box of you know gonna take the box of shame and then I quickly quickly went, I'll just quickly, my long arms, like a little pincer. I'll just grab it from above her and get out of there. And as I did, I knocked one off the shelf onto the floor and I quickly swept it up and I ran out. And then she must have, as soon as I left, grabbed hers and

went the other way. And again, we crashed into each other at the South Check-In. With your boxes of shame. With our boxes of shame. Good luck to that woman, whatever outcome she wanted. What, how much did you spend on the, did you go high? I went high. How high did you spend the money? I went digital and weeks.

Yeah. Just in case. Oh, okay, good. Because I've been quite emotional for a long time. So if it was that, I would have been well on the way. Well, there's only, like, I've got, I actually think there's a song here. I've got it here that would sum up the entire emotional mood of the entire situation.

Oh, God. I think I'll cry. I've been walking these streets so long. Listen to it. He's so alone. In the same old show. So if it's not pregnancy, what are you going to do? It's goddamn Glen Campbell is who it is.

It's Glen Campbell. This man writing this emotional song about this guy. He's a cowboy, but where are the rhinestones? In his jacket? On his jacket. Right. But he is like a famous rodeo cowboy. Right.

Every day he gets cards and letters from people I don't even know. But he's so alone. Offers coming over the phone. But he's so alone. You hear this though, celebrities, everybody thinks they've got it all, but they don't, they don't have that by themselves. I'm going to be where the lights are shining on me. Hit it, Glenn.

Like a rhinestone cowboy. Jesus. I mean, no expense spared in this video. He's literally in someone's backyard on a horse. It's different times, Vaughn. Because he's alone. He used to be under all the lights, and now he's alone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley.

A study's been done into how much time is wasted in the average human. Right. And it's 26 days a year to what falls under the umbrella of wasted time. So just about a February. So would that be like things like traffic, sitting in traffic or waiting for people, your late friends? Doing nothing or finding yourself like on hold. It's where basically you are doing something like waiting that also stops you from doing anything else. So it's not just being lazy at home.

No. And relaxing. It's like things eating up your time that is not important. So waiting in lines, people were asked to write down over a week how long they spent wasting time and what they did wasting time. Waiting in lines was the big one.

Internet service providers on the phone. Trying to talk to them. Yeah. So being on hold was another one. Yeah. And also what came in massively, browsing social media while not actually achieving anything. Do they count that as wasted time? Do they count Netflix?

No, that's entertainment. That's sort of relaxation entertainment. Yeah, so traffic and because it was a British survey, waiting for the jug to boil. But you're right, that is wasted time. This is why I boil the jug four times. I flick it on and then go and do something and then come back. It's been 15 minutes. I'm like, well, I better give that

another boil, flick that on, get distracted again. Come back. I'm like, oh, I'll give this one more time. And then I'll literally watch it click off and click it on one more time for good luck. I don't want to brag, but I have a keep hot button. Do you? Okay. Uncle Scrooge over here with his big tank full of money on a hill

I had no idea how good my jug was Until I used the jug at I think my parents house I was staying somewhere And it took forever to boil I've got a leaky old zip one For people that boil a jug a lot Parents always have a rubbish jug

My parents boil a jug Six or seven times a day My parents jug is shit. It took like ten minutes. They had, when we were growing up, they had this old jug and it was like old. It was so old it was metal. It was old. It had the calcium build up on

the inside and the lime rust or whatever that is. And the coil inside it. But I tell you what, it was a good jug and ever since they've just gone through this series of just crap jugs because they're scared to spend money on a good jug. Because I woke up early and I was like, I'm just going to make myself a coffee. And it took forever.

It's a rubbish jug. Wednesday wedding anniversary, I'll buy them a jug. Bean. It was Dan's birthday. Dan's birthday is March, so it's not a jug. It's got to be a joint thing, doesn't it? They've missed it. You don't want to give one of them the title of jug owner

because they might lord it over the other.