ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 19th October 2022

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

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Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. So last week, Fletch, you lured me into your house. No, you lured me into a gym class with you that I hadn't done for a while. We spoke about this. Yes. And as podcast listeners will remember, I had to borrow a sweat towel because I was unprepared. Well, I was at home on my way to the gym, so I just chucked another sweaty in the bag. You did, and it was a nice sweaty. It hasn't lost any of its colour. It was soft.

It was really absorbent. I really needed it in that class. Yeah. They're beautiful hand towels. I purchased them at a sale at Fama's. Oh, Fama's. Fama's Homewares, yeah. Now, this is not a microfibre.

It's more your hand towel. Yeah, well, it's soaky. Yeah, it's soaky as opposed to moving it around. And I realized yesterday or the day before that it's actually been over a week since you lent it to me. I didn't want to say anything, but, you know, I've only got four of these. And now I'm down to three and I'm having to wash a bit more often. More regularly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I said to Aaron who's been doing all of our washing this week like getting through you know when you just get through the basket? Yeah. You know you just do

load after load after load. We even went to the laundromat to finish off our sheets because we Wow. This is the issue right is we're renovating at the moment so we only have our washing machine

no dryer. Right. So all of our clothes are being dried by the fire and I put your Uh oh. No it's not that bad. Right. So all of our clothes are being dried by the fire. And I put your... Uh-oh. No, it's not that bad. I put your...

Uh-oh. I put your towel on the clothes horse. Yeah. And I couldn't find it. I said, Aaron, where's Fletcher's towel that I borrowed? And he said, I think it's on the clothes horse. I dried it. And I went to pick it up.

And I was like, this is so embarrassing. Just feel the towel. It's very hard. Is it crispy? Has it gone crispy? It has gone so crunchy. It's also got some rolly. What have you done to it?

Well, it's just crunchy and it's gone like sandpaper. It's like an exfoliator towel now. The softness is gone. It's just mum's towels. We're only washing in cold water and then drying, snap drying by the fire. Oh, no. It's very hard. And so I felt really embarrassed.

But then I was like, I don't have time to go and buy you a new one. How would you, what would you do differently? It's also got a bit of sort of sawdust on it. I apologise. It does have a bit of sawdust on it. Which is fine. I don't get the problem. Yeah, in summer I dry my towels on the clothes horse.

I feel really embarrassed. It's so crisp. I know. Well, you should. Do you know what? You gave it to me soft. I gave it to you soft. I swat into it once and I've given it back crisp.

A bit of fabric softener. Just a cap. Fabric softener and a finish in the dryer. We'll sort it right out. Yeah, finish in the dryer really pops those towels, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know. I was in the dry up really pops those towels, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know, I was in the company of Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth.

Jesus Christ, that's just a towel to wipe the sweat off your arms and face. Yeah, I know, but when you're in the thick of a hard class like that, the last thing you want is some scratchy towel. Just dab, dab, don't rub. I feel terrible. No. I've ruined the towel. Well, today I'll tell you what it's exciting because Hayley and I have got a class today, and it's the first day of my sleeveless tee.

Shit, I didn't bring a towel. Oh, my God. I've got one. I've got one. Here you go. Can I have a softer one than this one? This one feels like shit. Yeah, that one's horrible, actually.

Could you get her an ice one from your house? Ow, ow, ow. Oh, it's rude. It's tearing the skin off. Sleeveless tee. You asked for it.ets tearing the skin off. Sleeveless tea. You asked for it. You asked for it. Yeah, sleeveless tea.

I bought some. I bought some. Are you rocking a sleeveless tea or singlet? Sleeveless tea. I don't know why you're worried about the singlet. So I was in the changing rooms, and I had sleeveless tea option, medium large, and singlet, medium large. And I just do not like myself in singlets. I don't like them.

Oh, my God. I won't hear it. Too much, like, little bit of material. Too much white openness. Once you've gone from a t-shirt to a sleeveless tee, you're going to be like, maybe I go the next step. Maybe. Because you're going to get so much more airflow around the pits,

you're going to be like, I want to open up the, what do you always call this part of your? Declatage. A declatage. I want to open up the declatage to a bit more airflow. Yeah, maybe. And then he's going to be getting those singlets where it comes down and just barely scoops through the nipple.

That will never happen. And the armpits are around the kidneys. The huge armpit. That is never going to happen. Those go too low. Like you couldn't tuck a boner in that. Oh, no, you couldn't tuck a boner in that. They go too low.

The other day when you were. What do you mean you could tuck a boner in that. Oh, no, you couldn't tuck a boner in that. They go too low. The other day when you were... What do you mean you could tuck a boner in what? In a low singlet. Because it would be popping out the top. You'd tuck a boner and it would pop out the top. How do you tuck a boner in a singlet? No, but if you were tucking your boner out of your pants. I'm saying if you were tucking a boner in and you had that singlet on.

You're saying it deep dives down past the navel. I'm saying that some of them are very... You're shivering and you see the tip of your diddle. Oh, my God. I'm familiar with that, but I didn't know that's how low these singlets were. Would you ever go shirtless? Because the other day when we were doing the spin class and you were in a T struggling with the T-shirt heat, I almost said to you, this is your privilege.

No, you're not allowed to. Take your shirt off. No, I find that horrible. Shirts are very much... Gyms are anti no shirt. Oh, you have to wear a shirt. Yeah, it's a hygiene thing. Upstairs, like most of the girls

are just in bras now there's the double standard right where where are they you're not allowed in in the women's only gym I'm allowed in

but I think you'll find Ebenezer Doubtfire's allowed in hello dear I'm here for a workout imagine that Vaughn arrested after dressing like Mrs Doubtfire to go into the

women's only section of the gyme. Yeah, get some big Lululemons over the top. What do you call this one? A little squat? And do you know the giveaway? Because a boner was tucked in. Because a boner was tucked in and poking out the top of the wig. Jesus, that's crass. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, what do you want? Nah. Wednesday, long weekend imminent. I don't think we've mentioned this week at all that the long weekend group too. Yeah, I've had a couple of people ask on Friday.

I keep meaning to bring it to everybody's attention. The LWGT. Oh, right down here. Ramhub the messaging. Yeah. Now, I really need a goodie. You know what I mean? To feel in a good mood for the long weekend?

Yeah. Okay. Have a nice long weekend. I'm off to the Coromandel. Lovely spot, isn't it? Coromandel, lovely spot. Yeah. Hopefully climate change has really warmed up the ocean.

I'm keen for a swim. It will have. It will have. Just watch the plastics. You've got to take the good with the bad, you know? I remember last year swimming in October, and I saw people swimming at the beach last weekend, too. Yeah.

I was like, this is not good. It's beautiful. It's lovely. Just ask Australia. That's half underwater at the moment. Half underwater, half on fire. Yeah. Beautiful combination. I think the two would cancel each other out.

But no. We've got a big announcement, guys. Big announcement. ZM brings you Lewis Capaldi. I'm already better than I am before you. Just like that. So many people

on TikTok are doing covers of this. I want to say, stop it. I mean, he did weeks ago say if this song got X amount of streams. He'd do the album. He'd do the album. Well, he's announced a tour. Lewis Capaldi in New Zealand. ZM proud to present the shows Spark Arena, Auckland, July 18.

And TSB Arena, Wellington, July 19. So two shows now. Tickets go on sale on the 28th of October from livenation.co.nz. So good. What a guy. That's going to be fun. I hope he comes in for an interview. He will.

Because he is absolutely hilarious. I hope he comes in for a bloody cocktail. Don't you think it'd be fun to have a brewski with? I wonder if he'll bring his Peloton. Oh, he will. Remember he had his Peloton in the hotel room. Because he said he was trying not to be as much of a piece of ass as he has been. So we'll give away some tickets, the very first tickets to Lewis Capaldi later on the show this morning.

Otherwise, ZM Online for all of those details. We've got the top six coming up. Yeah, the top six alternatives to milk. Air New Zealand have said they will be offering a milk alternative. Just another bloody thing for those poor people to have to carry up and down. Oh, yeah, and then it'll take longer to get to you because it'll be asking people, like, having to repeat the options. Coffee, tea, coffee, tea, oat, soy, bloody... Almond.

Vegan almond. Cashew. It's all... Is it PC gone mad, is it? Ah, it's PC in the air. It's worse than PC gone mad. It's airborne PC. Madness.

A lot of people will be very happy about this. Yeah. Yeah, the amount of people farting on planes. We've got to cut that back. So any kind of dairy reduction is a good idea. Yeah. Especially for those longer flights. So the top six aren't dealing with that soon.

Next on the show. Well, we cross now to me, our TikTok expert. Yeah. Well, you're TikTok famous, aren't you? I was just trying to have a little look. I've got 1,000 followers. How many views have you got, though? I've got two posts. The last one I posted, which was really good,

was months ago, and I said I was going to do one apparently every day, did I say? You did, yeah, you did. Every day for a week. Really kick-started off. Well, I've got some news for TikTok that might get me back on the app. You've brushed over your views there. I've got 20,000 on one of the videos. Oh, that's good.

That's not bad. Thank you. That's not bad. That's really good. Thank you. Not bad for an old girl. Sorry? Pardon me? I was just saying that just for someone your age, it's not bad.

Well, with this new feature, maybe I'll be getting a few more followers. No bloody Charli D'Amelio, is she? No. It's because I refuse to dance. Yeah, that's your problem, I think. Yeah. There's so many good concerts coming back. Yeah.

So many good concerts. Like, we had nothing for so long and now we're just. We're so close to Friday jams, by the way. I know. Imminent. Hang on. Are you doing a day? You know you can just Google how many days till the.

So three weeks away. Yeah. No. Yeah. This weekend it's three weeks away. Friday jams. Oh, what? Hannah on coffee asked me why it's on Sunday.

Oh, my God. Hannah. Hannah. She's not at work yet. Just relax. Yeah. She's like, I've got a question. I was like, hit me with your question, Hannah.

And she said, I've got a question about Friday Jams Live. Why is it on? And I said, I already know what your question's going to be. Why is it on Sunday? Yeah, why is it on Sunday? Why isn't it called Sunday Jams Live? I said, well, that's not the name of the segment on the radio, is it? No.

And you can't send mixed messaging when it comes to marketing. You're going to confuse these people. No, they're going to be lost. They're not going to know what they're going to be listening to. But now we're confusing them by having a show on a Sunday named after a Friday. And I like that sort of confusion. Yeah, same. Keep up.

Now watch our OnlyFans. Okay. Now, I was just saying before, listening to Lewis, that we're on a first name basis, me and Lewis. Yeah. Lulu.

Lulu and I. That I recently declared that I was going to become quite big on TikTok. Yeah, that's kind of stalled. That has stalled. I haven't posted anything in five weeks. Yeah. And I posted one video.

So it's not going well, but this might lure me back. TikTok is now launching an adults only platform for in particular for live streamers on the platform who wish to restrict their viewership to those 18 and older. So does that mean they'll be doing like...

Nippies. Nippies and stuff. Nip sound stuff. Well, this is what I thought, right? Like they're going to try to basically... You know, because every app is cashing in on every other app. Is it Instagram that did like a be real rip off? Yeah, everybody's.

No, TikTok's doing the be real rip off. Right. Like capture this now. And I thought now TikTok will be doing an OnlyFans rip off. Yeah, everybody's. No, TikTok's doing the be real rip off. Yeah, right. Like capture this now. And I thought now TikTok will be doing an OnlyFans rip off. So they said, when asked like what this R18 content might contain, they said, oh, well, maybe perhaps a comedy routine is better suited for people over the age of 18. All right, so it's anything.

Or maybe they want to talk about a difficult life experience and they'd feel more comfortable knowing the conversation is limited to adults. And everyone was like, that's very naive. Yeah. About how this is going to be used. However, TikTok has a strict no nudity,

no pornography, no sexually explicit content. Right. Some guidelines. Yeah. And that's not set to change. So it truly is just like adult content in a non-sexualized way. Right. Swearing. So it'll be subscription?

Like. No, I think it's just restriction. Right. So people who are registered under the age of 18 won't be able to see the content. Okay. Yeah. So it's not. Yeah. It's not, no titties, you know? Yeah. Not yet.

Did you read how much that guy that started OnlyFans? Because it's not a company, eh? It's just some one guy. It's like he's made half a billion dollars in like the last couple of years. Holy moly. Half a billion dollars. But if it's one guy, where's the... How did he afford?

Because it blew up so quick. And it's hosting a whole lot of content. So it's got videos and photos and everything. You'd have to buy the servers. And then everyone talks about how expensive that is and how if a company online gets too big too quick, you can't afford to keep up with the... Oh, so he took dividends. So there must be a company or other people involved.

Right. So he's be a company or other people involved. Right. So he's the OnlyFans owner. He's raked in more than $500 million in the last two years. Revenue soared from $358 million to $932 million last year. So you wouldn't be surprised if someone like TikTok came along and did try to take a slice of that. Hell yeah. Oh my gosh, yes.

Hey, also TikTok is doing something which I think is good. So currently TikTok is with a minimum of 1,000 followers. You have to have at least 1,000. Yeah. Older than 16 can live stream. They're changing their age next month to 18. Right. I don't think teenagers should be live streaming either.

No. Would that have stopped you when you were under 18? No. When you're lying in an MSN chat room. I used to live blog. Yeah. Because on MySpace you do blogs and I'd be like, I'm out and I've got a beef with Janice.

You do live blogs? Yeah. Who would watch these blogs? Well, I mean, live isn't like updates. You'd just be updated. Oh, right. Okay, yeah. Would it have stopped me?

No, I would have just changed my date of birth. On the registration? Yeah. For it. I've been lying about my age since I was 11. Which was seven years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

Of course. That's right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, Uber in Toronto in Canada has teamed up with a marijuana company and you can now order weed on Uber Eats. Oh, my Lord. Really? Because I'm assuming it's obviously legal there.

They wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't. It is. It is legal there. And surely they're already doing this in California. But then don't you still need a prescription? Prescription? No, no, it's fully legal in California now. Yeah, you can just go to a shop.

Yeah, right, to a store. Because I toyed with the possibility of getting some gummies before Disneyland. Oh, my God, really? But then I'm a real lightweight. And I was like, I'm going to get the wrong one, and I'm going to be freaking out, and there's going to be a stormtrooper, and I'm going to be like, I didn't do it. I didn't, like, yeah, I've got nothing to do with Alderaan.

I'll tell you where they are. Leave me alone. Yeah, you kind of ruined your Disneyland. Yeah, so I just really wanted to be in the moment. Yeah. Also, funny. A, I'm an absolute weed lightweight, and B, I was already very excited to be there.

Yeah, and also funny if you left something in your pocket and your girls found them. Nah. I was like, uh-oh. Like free lollies. Oh, jeepers. So from today, Toronto residents aged 19 years and older can officially get weed from Uber Eats.

They've partnered with Leafly, an online marijuana retailer, to connect customers with dispensaries. So you'll be able to just kill two birds with one stone. God, you would laugh, eh, being an Uber delivery person. And you know how you can do multi-stop? Like, I want this from McDonald's, but I also want this do multi-stop? Like I want this from McDonald's but I also want this from a curry shop and I want this. So like seeing the orders they put alongside

their weed order. Yeah. Or they order the weed. Chippies. They drop it off and then come back an hour later with Macca's Chippies ice cream. Yeah. Ah, so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so interesting. Yeah.

I mean, why not? And I can't find the latest figures, but the figures from a couple of years ago, Uber eats and delivery surpasses ride sharing. Really? Uber is one of the biggest. I suppose pandemic, though. Yeah, Uber is one of the biggest food delivery companies

or the biggest in the world. Yeah. Like that's their jam now is delivering food. So we're ordering more food than we are taking trips. Yeah, but at the same time, we're also destroying local restaurants and cafes. So there's that as well. But one company's getting really rich.

That's a good thing. Well, no, but they're not that good. One Uber people. Yeah, it's great for them. No, but they're losing so much money still. Are they? Uber. Yeah, I don't know why. We need to order more. That's a good thing. Well, no, but they're not that one. That's good for Uber people. Yeah, it's great for them. No, but they're losing so much money still. Are they? Uber. Yeah, I don't know why.

We need to order more. We need to support them. We need to support this Uber, guys. I've used one every now and then, and I'd hate to see the service disappear. Before that, I can't even remember how we got anywhere in a car that wasn't ours. Neither.

Heaven forbid. Do you think... Oh, God, my thought just left Oh no Oh let's chase it Let's chase it Stay tuned Chase the thought

Where did it go? We were talking about Oh when are we next Going to have a referendum To legalise marijuana In New Zealand Isn't it I think it's a bit silly

This is my opinion It was so close It was yeah It's just my opinion But oh my god Come on And then people like my mum Got all like scared.

Yeah. Like, you know. They'd probably be shoving marijuana lip down your mouth. Well, no, no, not that. But, you know, she was like, oh, no, if you need it for medical reasons, you can get it. But then no one told her how expensive it is and how hard it is. Yeah.

Everything. She could be, like, mum grows a great tomato plant. So she could absolutely just be herning a big plant out the back, just, you know, for when she's ready. I was just stoked we'd be taxing the stoners.

It'd be great tax money. That'd be fantastic. Oh, great. Yeah, build some roads. Great for the coffers. We've got a hell of a lot of potholes out our way, and I wouldn't mind it being paid.

You've got a lot of pot. Yeah.otholes out our way And I wouldn't mind it being paid You've got a lot of pot Yeah The pothole that pot paid for Yeah The pot head potholes The pothole that pot fixed There we go That's the headline

That's a good headline New campaign Yeah, if you're running for the next election Let's get Chloe Swarbrick onto this Yeah Pot could fix that The potholes that pot fixed. Yeah, bingo.

Easy. Pot fixed pot holes. All right, next on the show. I've got some advice for potential bridesmaids. And this is something I'm an expert in because I've been a bridesmaid four times yet. Yeah. It's not an easy job. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I love being a bridesmaid. There's lots of things that's fun about it. It's an honour. Tis mine honour, friend. Four times you've done it? One, two, three, four. Yeah, and I'd say there's at least two more coming.

I would bloody hope so. I would bloody hope so. But it's expensive. It's real expensive. Each time, yeah. Yeah, I mean, hope so. But it's expensive. It's real expensive. Each time, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it depends. Like, it depends on the kind of wedding, the friend that it is, da-da-da-da-da. Even just being invited to a wedding, that's going to take some cost, right?

Totally. Outfit? Yep. Often with bridesmaids, they might do like a 50-50. Like, they'll buy you a dress and pay for half of it, and you pay for half of it. And you get to keep it in there. you get to keep it. You get to keep it in the end. And it sits in your wardrobe unworn for years and you can't find

the right place to donate it to and so it sits in the boot of your car. Does anyone need two ball gowns? They're literally in the boot of my car right now. Yeah, like travel, time and then there's the hen's do. Everything's really expensive and sometimes you pay for your own hair and makeup, shoes, nails,'s do. Yeah. It's like everything's really expensive and sometimes you pay for your own hair and makeup,

shoes, nails, spray tan. Gift. It's a lot of money, eh? It's a lot. Yeah. And so people are debating online whether you could just say no. Like how you can go like,

thank you for the offer. That's a real honour. And I'm so touched that you would want me to be part of your party like that but I can't afford it and so I politely decline. Especially now

with like the cost of living the way that it is. Yeah. People are just absolutely, you know, cutting back on everything they can. Yeah, totally.

And so a cost of like a thousand dollars or more. Or more at least. One hundred percent is going to be cut. And it's not even, I mean, this is the thing. It's like when you're prioritizing things,

when cost of living is so high, like it's not even for you. It's just for someone else. Yeah. I remember someone saying like, did you get so-and-so a gift? And I was like, my gift was my service to that party because I did so much. Oh, you tight bitch. Yeah, I am an absolute tight ass.

This was when I was also a very broke theatre actor and I was like, Right. Well, now you're flush with cash. You're hosting every bloody other TV show. Yeah, give us some

of your bank off money. Well, retrospectively. Yeah. Give my previous bridesmaids the cash I didn't give them. Go back to people whose wedding you went to.

I'll give them back their dresses and they can bloody. Give them the dress and half of your fee. Okay. That seems fair. Jesus Christ. Split amongst four women. I don't think so. Oh, no, no, no, no.

That was just for one. But how many seasons of this bloody bake-off have you done? It's just what I'm saying is it's time to start. I've done four seasons. Anyway. One season each. So a wedding planning website has suggested some ways that you might be able to avoid this conundrum of being offered the role of bridesmaid,

but you can't afford it. Just say no. Easy. Wow. It's okay to say no. Many of us avoid conflict and confrontation. You know, no one likes that. No.

No one likes that. Yeah. No one likes that. Yeah. But if it's a good friend, you should be able to have healthy enough boundaries with them to be able to say, oh, look, it can't work with me. So if you can say it with context, you're saying like, not just like, nah,

will you be my bridesmaid? Nah, nah, can't do it. But just saying, you know, with a bit of heartfelt appreciation for the offer. Money's tight. Like, you can't argue with that. Yeah, totally. Like, I need to turn up in a reused dress and my mum's shoes and a borrowed handbag and you're not getting a gift and I'm going to.

Yeah. There better be a bloody bar tab. What is it? You know, cash bar. Don't cash bar me from 10. Don't cash bar me. Yeah, don't cash bar me when the tab's out.

Absolutely not. Don't delay. If you're already thinking this, don't like go, oh, thank you so much and then take ages. Because then you're putting them in a position.

You're putting them in a position. Yeah. Exactly. So like most of our like... Could you head it off at the curve? Is that the... At the pass. You head it off at the pass. head it off at the curve? At the pass. Head it off at the pass.

Head it off at the pass by like when they are getting serious with someone, just, you know, if engagement's on the horizon, be like, by the way, I can't afford to be a bridesmaid. Just as they're like, ha, ha, ha. And then you're saying – You better not get engaged anytime soon because I can't afford to be a bridesmaid. You better have four other best friends because I can't afford to be a bridesmaid. You better have four other best friends because I can't afford to be a bridesmaid. And then you kind of put it out there.

And then you'll always be a little hurt when they didn't ask. Yeah. God, do you need four best friends to get married? No, no, no, no. Fuel. I just chucked it out there. I just said a number. Right.

I mean, there's some other ones. Don't delay. Be honest with why. Why it might be a stressful situation for you. Stress how much you appreciate the offer being asked what a privilege this is the one I like at the end of the list is share other ways that you could support

I like that so going like look financially the dress and the day and the tan and all that kind of stuff I can't afford that but how can I assist in other ways to celebrate you and your marriage so like how can I assist on the day can I look after the ways to celebrate you and your marriage? Right. So, like, how can I assist on the day? Could I look after the kids?

No. Come on, what? Thanks. That's the dud job. No one does that. But you have to remember that the reason that they're asking you to be a bridesmaid is because they want you to be involved in their day. So how else could you get involved?

Yeah. Do the greetings. Oh, yeah, okay. Could you sort of emcee the thing? Do some organising for something. Do some organising. Clear some plates. Okay.

Great tips. Great tips. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the self-driving ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Whoa! Whoa! A dramatic stop down.

A dramatic pause for effect. I loved that. Dramatic. That shook me. Dramatic. Air New Zealand have said we're going to be stocking some milk alternatives aboard Air New Zealand flights. I hadn't even thought about the fact that there's not.

Yeah, for, no, there hasn't been. No, there don't. I always like a bit of the UHT milk's not Yeah for a No there hasn't been I always like a bit of the UHT milk You love a little bit of UHT I love a bit of UHT in my coffee Yum yum yum You've got to disguise that horrible coffee flavour somehow What is it? It's a little bit burnt

I think they do a It's like a plunger bag Like a big tea bag of coffee I've seen them The machine It's like a filter isn't it? Do they? Isn't it like a plunger bag, like a big tea bag of coffee. I've seen them. The machine, it's like a filter, isn't it? Do they? Isn't it like a filter? No, I thought it was like a plunger or a tea bag, a coffee bag.

Like a Jeds. Yeah. I like a Jeds. I don't mind a Jeds. I don't mind a Jeds. Yeah, I don't know if it's a Jeds. A little at-home Jeds. I don't know if it's a Jeds, though.

A little bit of a Jeds Jeds. I turned my nose up. Sade's friends came and they bought Jeds. And I was like Jed's Jed's. I turned my nose up. Sade's friends came and they bought Jed's. And I was like, a big pot? I turned my nose up. You know what? I was happy to say I was wrong. They wanted Jed's.

What a snob. I got the top six milk alternatives for aboard Air New Zealand flights. Yeah. But keep in mind, keep your price down. Yeah, have they seen what they're offering? Nah, I don't know if they've said alternative. Oh, right. Okay.

But the original alternative was soy, wasn't it? Yes. And then it started giving the children in Africa breasts. Don't dump that, did it? Yeah.

My best friend was on soy milk and she got breast at like 10 and so I started telling my mum I wanted to drink soy milk. You wanted soy milk? I still put it on the shopping list.

Yeah. Anything that can help. Anything that can help. Anything that can help. Anything that can help. Top six alternatives for milk aboard

an Air New Zealand flight. Number six, green top. Am I right? That thing's not bloody milk. What is green top?

It's just watered down blue top. What is yellow top? Watered down, watered down. With some bone powder in it. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. With a bit of in it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. With a bit of extra calcium. Number five on the list of the top six alternatives for milk aboard an Air New Zealand flight. Water with some twink in it. Just a bit of twink. I never, I don't quite like the smell of twink. Were you a twink potty brush or a twink pen?

Both. Both. Or tape. But I was real sad when it went. Twink tape. If you had twink tape, you were and brush or a twink pen? Both. Both. Or tape. But I was real sad when it went. Twink tape. If you had twink tape, you were rich. Don't write on it too quick. You were rich.

Yeah, you were rich. When it gets thin, you gotta. But I was really sad when it all went to twink pens because the pottel was. The pottel was a superior product. You could paint stuff. And you could just like do a light brushing and then blow to dry.

The pens always globbed. Yes. The surface would cure and you'd have a wet twink underneath. It'd be a blob. The pen's always globbed. Yes. The surface would cure and you'd have a wet twink underneath. It'd be a blob. The kids know what we're talking about. And you'd get a little bit high in English. Yeah.

Hot stuff. That was the best bit. Vivids and twink. Hello. Are twinks even on the school stationery list anymore? It'd probably be a twink. What do you call those ones?

The strip. The strip. Yeah, the tape strip. Like a redaction. Yeah, that'd be where you're at now. But, um... Although, to be honest, they're probably just writing in laptops.

Yeah. That's why I was wondering. If it's a thing of the past. It probably is, yeah. You'll never know the hiding... Well, you don't get hidings these days anyway. You'll never know the hiding you get when you turn up home from school

in a near brand new school uniform and you sat on some twink. Yes. You will never know the hiding you get when you turn up home from school in a near brand new school uniform and you sat on some twink. Yes. You will never know the pain. We used to twink our fingernails in class. We'd have a white nail polish and then you'd colour them in with different highlighters and stuff. Yeah.

And then I'd make a fake skin with PVA glue. Yeah. We're talking a lot. Number four on the list of the top six alternatives to milk aboard an Air New Zealand flight, goat milk. The best part is the goat's on the plane. the top six alternatives to milk aboard an Air New Zealand flight. Goat milk. The best part is the goat's on the plane. It's fresh goat milk.

They have a goat in the galley, don't they? They feed the goat all the scraps. Like if you only eat half the biscuit before you're like, yuck. Or like the cassava chips aren't potato chips and you don't know that until you start them. And then you're like, yuck. All those scraps. That's a great idea. The go-on board recycling.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. They could probably eat the paper cups too. Yeah, because they're compostable, right? Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. Goats will eat anything. So they'd give it a blast. Number three on the list of the top six alternatives for milk aboard an New Zealand flight.

Breast milk. Oh, yeah. From the human breasts. Good breasts. Free flights. Good milk. Yeah. Free flights for a woman who's willing to donate to the cup of tea.

Have you guys tried breast milk? No. Come on. You're awfully suspiciously quiet. Yeah, no, I just, I was. I've tried it. I think so. I think I like went, oh, that's what it was.

It's when you're like heating it up again. Oh, yeah. And you're like testing the thing and then it's on your wrist and you're like, just get it off your wrist by licking it. Yeah, yeah. I had a little shot of it. It's sweet, isn't it? Yeah.

It's not bad. You can see why babies go crazy. Don't bodybuilders buy it of pregnant women, don't they? They do. They have. They have games. Previously, yes.

The throat, the nutrition in the womb. Number two on the list of the top six alternatives to milk aboard in New Zealand for like moisturiser. Oh, yeah.

You know, that'll whiten up your coffee and also just really keep that esophagus youthful. It'll curdle all your stir and sip. Okay.

And number one on the list of the top six alternatives for milk aboard a New Zealand flight? Clouds. They're just outside

the window. Grab some on the way through. Right. Put it in the jug. Oh yeah. Pour clouds into your coffee. Nice and thick. It's pre-whipped. Right. Scoop them up. Oh, yeah. Pour clouds into your coffee. Nice and thick.

It's pre-whipped. Yeah. Delicious. Creamy. Taste of clouds. That's today's top six. I've got a trend alert. Do you need the thing?

Please give me the thing. Trending alert. I got a trend alert. Now, this is something we've been seeing on the runways. You know it's trendy. The fashion runways. Oh, is this why you've been invited to Avondale Fashion Week? Hey, don't you laugh.

Me and the gals. It's pronounced Avondale. Avondale. Avondale. Yeah, Avondale. I didn't know that this suburb of Auckland had a French connection. As a previous resident of Avondale, it's actually very fashionable. Okay.

Yeah. I have been invited to Avondale Fashion Week. Unfortunately, I cannot attend. Right. But I believe the gals are going, Carween and Anna, to represent well. Who's there? Like Posty Plus? No, it's Stolen Girlfriends.

The OG. What? It's Avondale too. They're literally stolen. How dare you? They've been stolen. It's a beautiful region. Stolen, Stolen Girlfriends.

Stolen, Stolen Girlfriends. Yeah, yeah. No, this is straight off the catwalks in Milan, Paris. Oh, wow. Okay. London, et cetera. And now it's going big on TikTok. Now, you know the thick brow?

That's what I've gone for because I thought that's what we were doing. The untamed thick brow. Now we're shaving them off. Oh, no. Trend alert. Trend alert. Shave your eyebrows off. No.

The whole lot. The whole lot. Who's doing that? So people are going on TikTok and they are shaving off their brows for like this kind of alien chic look. No, absolutely not. Yeah.

So you say it's safe to shave your eyebrows off? Not to wax though, because that can mean that they don't grow back ever. Yeah, no, no, no. Just get those like little blades that go close to your skin. Shave it off. It changes your entire look, your entire face.

What do you reckon? No. How do you reckon I'd go? My brows are so much part of my identity. Yeah, very expressive too. Yeah. It would just be like flesh moving up and down. It'd be weird.

It'd be weird. You know I don't have any Botox in there, so they move. Yeah. They go about 15 centimetres up and down. It'd be weird. It'd be weird. You know I don't have any Botox in there, so they move. They, yeah. They go about 15 centimetres up and down. Because I suffer from fading out eyebrows. You do. So halfway through, they just look like they're not there.

Yeah, so you could do it, and maybe it wouldn't make much of a difference. Right. Are people blonding them, peroxiding them? Yeah, they are, too. Because that would be the better option, right? Like making them feel like they basically don't exist. However, a friend of mine who dyed her hair blonde and she had dark brows like me. Because when I had blonde hair, I just kept my brows dark.

I quite liked it. But she bleached her brows to match her hair. But then when they grow, you've got like regrowth on your brows. Like mince and cheese brows. Yeah, it looks like salt and pepper. It's weird. I don't know. The only thing that you should worry about is

sometimes if you shave things it can encourage hair growth and other times when you shave things it can actually make the hair grow back a lot slower and less frequently. So I don't know that I would like just sort of do this willy nilly. Doja Cat did it? Did you do that?

Yeah, she did it. She looks like a completely different person. If Doja Cat jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Yeah, she did that. She looks like a completely different person. If Doja Cat jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Well, as the cliff into water, does it look like fun? Did Doja Cat ever run her face when she came up out of the water and she was like, oh my God, that was exhilarating. I feel alive. Okay, maybe I will jump off that cliff

then. I could get down because, you know, I'm thinking about changing the colour of my hair very soon. Yeah, but shaving your eyebrows off is significantly different, isn't it? But I know, but I can do it at the same time for a total transformation. So she's shaved her eyebrows off now, and she does different eyebrows with every outfit. See, that's fun.

She gets them painted on and have them real thick or real thin. Again, she probably has a pretty top-notch make-up team. Yeah, I know a lot of drag queens, like people who do drag, that just shave them off because like the gluing is like too much. So if they do drag often enough, it's just easy to just shave them off.

Yeah. And like when you're a boy, you look a bit funny with no eyebrows. Yeah. And when you're a girl, it's easy. What about shaving two lines in them? You'd be going to kill someone.

Was that what that was? I thought people just wanted to look like Matt Ridge. Or Jonah. Jason Momoa's got one, but his is from a real scar. But was Jonah's from a scar or did Jonah go 11? Because he was number 11. Yeah. Yeah, if you've got a scar and it goes through the eyebrow,

that's pretty hot. Unless it was from a ring. An eyebrow piercing. A bar that fell out. Or that you sensibly removed because you're an adult now. Just before we finish, I just want to also shout out to the amount of people who have been giving me

Jason Mamour updates, where he is, what he's up to. Where is he? Well, he's still filming here. He's still here? Someone told me something yesterday that I'm not even allowed to say on air about where he may be in the future. Well, why don't you, you've got to track him down

even for a photo. Well, let's just say he's going to be very, very close to my house on the reg. Oh, wow. Someone is about to get a cease and desist letter. I can feel it. Same. He's going to be like,

who's this chick with the red hair and shaved off eyebrows? Get her out of here. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Here is a TikTok woman. Tell you what, she's got abs. Okay. That's all I'm going to say about her. She's got abs and she's beautiful.

She shares her whole life on the internet. Well, automatically now the abs are out the window because she sounds like an absolute pun. No, no. She looks nice. Anyway, she was sharing a... Say it with some belief in what you're saying. She looks really generous and kind.

Anyway, so she's got biceps as well. Oh, I don't want to look it up. I've shut my laptop. If someone wants to look at her, I'd say mostly in disgust, how would they find you? Don't be a pest. I'm not being a pest. Your Instagram is pestville.

I'm not a pest. Population Vaughan. I'm the mayor of pest town. Anyway, so she shares her life on the internet and the life of her partner, Roger, who she's only been dating for a month. Okay. And she got on the plane.

Too early to say partner. Do you know what I mean? Do the mahi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, a year partner. Prior to that, boyfriend. Prior to that, like, a month. Guy I'm shagging.

Yeah. Casual acquaintance is that how you would introduce him to your friends after a few weeks that's how I introduce Aaron now 12 years in

right this is the guy this is the guy I'm shagging she said when I met him this is Aaron and I give him a hoon yeah yeah yeah

he's a big boy I like to give a hoon I was like well that sounds a little yeah we guys have been together for like even though they're

engaged they were engaged at that time well now she's the guy she likes to give a hoon. I was like, well, that seems a little... Yeah. We guys have been together for like nine years. Even though they're engaged. They were engaged at that time. Well, now she's the guy who she likes to give a hoon that gave her a ring. Yeah, exactly. Gave me a ring, gave her a hoon. Yeah, that's how it works. And then I like to spin them around.

I say, well, give them a bit of a slap. Yeah, yeah. And I did. Give that Tush a bit of a slap. Oh, I did not do. Anyway, I'm distracted. So she was sharing the fact that she got on a flight with her new boyfriend, Roger is his name.

Silly. Silly name, isn't it? Anyway, so he had said in the airport, I really recognise that woman, and they didn't think any more of it. Lo and behold, they are sat directly behind his ex-wife, who had been with for a very long time. Oh, wow.

The same flight. I assume Roger's a 70-year-old retired man who's on the RSA board. So, you know, he was probably married to Beatrice for 40 years. Yeah, well, they also say, because this woman's very beautiful, and then they said something like she was a striking woman, was the ex.

So he's got a string of beautiful women behind him. Anyway, she was sharing the fact that it was so awkward because they kind of acknowledged each other, and I don't think it fact that it was so awkward because they kind of acknowledged each other, and I don't think it was a very good breakup, so they kind of acknowledged each other a bit weird and then literally had to sit in the seat behind her, and this woman who shares her life had to stare at the back of this ex's head.

How long was it? Say how long. Five hours. Oh, five-hour flight. It's not a 48. Yeah. It is a five-hour flight. Unless if you were in front, you were the ex,

you're looking at a stranger in front of you. But if you're behind... You're looking at them. You're looking at the ex the whole time they're here. Yeah. And so they were stuck there the whole time. And every time they had to go to the toilet, they had to catch eyes.

Every time they were sort of chatting, it's like, can they hear us? Can we do this? So we wanted to know this morning, when were you stuck with someone that you'd rather not be? Be it on a plane, maybe next to someone. Yeah. Even worse.

Maybe you got stuck in a elevator with them. Or you get a couple of tickets at the movies. You know, you pre-select, you turn up, sit next to people and you can't stand them. Or even when you're stuck in a line, you know when you're like waiting to like order a coffee and there's like a bit of a line

or something and you see someone and you're like, oh no. If it's a long line and you know you've got the smallest amount of small talk with this person.

Yeah. Yeah, good how you are. That's very good. Yeah, yeah. Because it's one thing to run into an ex but then it's another thing to be stuck with them

and to not be able to escape, especially a plane for five hours. Exactly. All right. Well, give us a call. 0800 dials at M as a number. Text 9696. Doesn't have to be an ex, but just someone you'd rather not be stuck with.

When did you get stuck with someone that you just, you didn't want to be stuck with? Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. Duckworth. A woman on TikTok shared her journey of being stuck on a plane for five hours right behind her partner's ex, with her partner by her side. No escape for what, five hours? No escape, yeah. And it wasn't so much that they had to get stuck in conversation. It was just an air of awkwardness.

Right. Lynn, Lynn, where did you get stuck? It's a bit of a long story, but my first marriage ended quite young and I got a second relationship going really, really well. And anyway, my first husband, of course, was friends with my entire family and my brother lived with me. And my husband, my first husband, kept turning up at the most inconspicuous and inconvenient times when you're, you know, trying

to get a new relationship going in there. Oh, gosh. Yeah, yeah, like he wouldn't be there when we went to bed, but he was there when we were at the car thing. Oh, yuck. No, get out. Yeah. And he couldn't get the point. He was a bit sick. That's it.

Thank God. In the end, his family, his mum and dad had gone to Australia and his sister. So basically, I was due to have a child to my second partner, which I ended up marrying. And I said to my first husband, look, this is, you know, you missed, yeah, you're missing. Okay, look, I'll buy you a one-way ticket. He goes, what? I said, I'll buy you a one-way ticket. And he goes, would you?

I said, yeah. He thought I was being all kind and everything. He can go into the airport. To this day, his mum and sister, and I think his other sister, bought the ticket. Well, you just brought him out of the country so bad you bought him a one-way ticket to Australia. Yep, and he's never been back.

What kind of fit? You said he's a bit thick. What kind of dummy did you marry first time round, Lee? You sound like a smart, odd-to-it lady. Yeah, he's had no contact with the two children we had in that, so he was just useless all round, really. Wait, you had two children with a man and you bought him a one-way ticket to another country?

Yep. He wasn't pulling his weight anyway. Lin was stuck with him in every facet of her life. Get rid of him. Get rid. Good on you, Lynn. Yeah, good on you. That's great advice to anybody else.

Just save up to buy your ex a one-way ticket the hell out of the country. Hannah, who did you get stuck with? I got stuck with my ex of just shy of four years. I broke up with him on a Saturday, and then on a Sunday, we both tested positive for COVID, and it was out. Oh, no. And so you had to stay together in the house? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. You heard lots of stories about this, eh? Like people who broke up, and then lockdowns came, and then they couldn't find a new flat, so they had to just stay. I know. And were you in the same bed, or did you have different rooms? Oh, God, no. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. I went to the other room and after two days I wanted to murder, but that was a bad idea. So I encouraged him to go and do the holiday that we had planned to do together and I kept the dog. Oh, nice. You got a dog and a holiday. If you need more tips, Lynn will get him a one-way ticket out of the country.

Yeah, bloody good. Great move from Lynn. I'm just still in admiration of Lynn's brutal. She's got kids to the guy and she's like, hey, you should go to Australia. You'd buy me that ticket, would you? Yep. Good old Lynn. Yep.

Amazing. Hannah, thanks. You called some messages in. So many. I'm a theatre nurse and my ex and his new partner came in for a caesarean section for their first baby. I said, wow, big day. And he replied, yes. And now you get to share it with us.

I would have liked a hole to fall into. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would have called in sick. Yeah. I went to the gynecologist for the first time. Oh. Georgia.

We've got Georgia. That very caller is on the phone. Georgia, good morning. Good morning. You can finish the story. Georgia, good morning. Good morning. You can finish the story. You went to the gynecologist. Yeah, I had a very awkward first time at the gynecologist. And, yeah, it was just a bad experience.

And then a few days later, went on a flight, and she was sitting right in front of me the whole time. Oh, my God. No, you don't want to see your gynecologist. No. Yeah, she's like, I've seen her. Inside. I've seen her.

Pretty much, yeah. Oh, no. Like, not awkward for her, but very awkward for me. Yeah. And then the person you're with is like, how do you know this woman? You're like, oh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm just trying to think of an awkward thing that could happen to a gynecologist to ask you if that's what happened. But every time I think of one, I'm like, I can't ask because what if that's the thing? And that's like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, wow. Georgia, you're awkward. Last place you'd want to be, thanks for your call. Some more messages. My ex cheated on me with one of our friends. It all blew up. We stopped being friends and everything.

A couple of months later, guess who my new tutor at uni was for the whole semester? Get out, the friends. Do you think they marked them down on purpose? They daren't. They daren't. Have an air of professionalism about you.

I had rekindled with my partner after a break of a few months. Now that means you have to reset the clock. You can't say you've been together for four years if the break was in the middle. We're not standing for it. You've been together for four years if the break was in the middle. We're not standing for it. You've been together for two years or two stints of two years

or a total of four years, but you must always say a total of four years. Yes. With one break. Yes. We went to play social netball when we got back together. And when the game finished,

we went through, you know, those shitty pullback elastic things that you're always like, you've got to like. And the man holding it open for me and my partner was the fling I had in between. Oh, the in-between fling. It was very awkward. I went out with a girl for three years.

We broke up. That wasn't a good breakup. Fast forward six months. I'm just starting to see someone new. We head to the movies and lo and behold,ated next to us Is the ex's best friend It did happen Then I get bombarded With texts from the ex

Throughout the whole movie About who I'm with It's six months later Yeah You can't question that Someone said You were describing life as a teacher Every time you step out of your house

You were playing Dodge the Parent In the supermarket And anywhere I once went on holiday And I sat down to the breakfast buffet and I heard, oh hello there, are you staying here too? And it was a parent.

Oh no. Yeah. My housemate started shagging my ex. That word got said. Who I'd just broken up with a couple of weeks previous. I had to sit in the lounge on Friday night. No.

When they were both hanging out there. No. She still had clothes in my room when she started seeing him, so I just put them on his bed for him to deal with. Oh, no. No. Awkward. Awkward.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices. This is a segment of the show where we read out Facebook posts and things of the like from your neck of the woods to entertain the rest of the nation. Yes. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screenshot it and send it in to us. We love getting them. Yes, please. This one, I'm going to start overseas because we are a community. A worldwide community. We're a global community. We're a global community.

We've got listeners. We've got listeners everywhere. And podcasters all over. We've got listeners coming out the yin yang. We've got them everywhere. This comes from the Central Coast Community page and Beryl Lynn has posted thus. I am seeking

friends in the Central Coast, Sydney, Newcastle area for my grandson to date. And any young ladies between the ages of 21 and 27 are welcome to apply. Aww. He is 24 and as handsome as they come. Well-spoken and very outgoing. Loves the great outdoors and walks on the beach.

Very loving, polite, and respectful. Then it steps up a gear. So do you imagine I've been reading in this. Well-spoken and very outgoing. Loves the great outdoors, walks on the beach, loving, polite, and respectful. I am seeking a serious relationship for him leading to marriage. Wow.

He completed university and now works full time as a DJ and radio host and is wanting to spend time on building a serious relationship that will lead to a marriage with a young lady that is ready. Grr. Next gear. Young lady must not be in school. Must be between 21 and 27. Must not have kids. Must be single. Must have born in school. Must be between 21 and 27. Must not have kids.

Must be single. Must have born Australian citizenship. Oh, wow. And be a semi-attractive or better-looking young lady, as he has good genes from my side of the family that I want to continue. We're in fourth. Preferred height, 5 foot 4 inches or taller, and weight, 40 kilograms to 65 kilograms.

On a sliding scale according to height. 5 foot 4 inches or taller and weight 40 kilograms to 65 kilograms. On a sliding scale according to height. Oh, my God. Sorry, what was the top end of that weight? That was 65 kilograms. Just for reference. That's a sliding scale. So if you're 5 foot 4, you can't be 65 in this woman's sliding scale of weight.

For reference, I was 42 kgs when I was 11 years old. If you're 5'4", you can't be 65 in this woman's sliding scale of weight choice. For reference, I was 42 kgs when I was 11 years old. I don't even remember weighing less. I only remember it from when I was in a hospital for something, and I just remember being like, you never know at that age. 11 years old. Do continue. Laura posts, I've got a stunning daughter that can offer all of that and more.

However, I'm going to need your grandson to perform a recent drug test. A copy of his license, a police check will also occur. Also, a list of prior girlfriends so that I can do a quick personality check on him. We will also need to review any medical records. He must work, own a house, a car, a boat, and an investment property. Not do drugs. Have a personality and a sense of humor. And he must love animals.

Oh, wait. My daughter is actually old enough to pick her own partner. So I'll let her do that oh Laura Zinger Zinger Zinger from Laura Anita says I've got two daughters

fit in the description in order for your grandson to date them I do request a dowry of one bottle of Don Perignon four Persian rugs

ten black opals a full pound of silver coins a bag of gold coins two alpacas one male one female as well as a doctor's certificate stating that he has no sexually transmitted diseases, a police

check and a WWCC. Wow. What's a WWCC? I don't know. Worldwide criminal check? World of Warcraft compliance certificate. Yes, we need to know that he's got his World of Warcraft. Working with children, maybe.

Oh, working with children, check. Yeah. Okay, so that's like a police check. You're not on a list. Not on a list, yeah. Anyway, good luck out there. I love that people went in on her. If Tinder's not working for you.

He's probably mortified by that post, by the way, that grandson. No, but where's she getting this info from? He's clearly stated that he wants her. It kind of read like a joke and when it said he worked in radio I was like, oh that's really funny. But then the line, must have born Australian citizenship. I'm like, but then it's Australia and you know they're a

racist bunch of... This one comes from Danita and it says my flatmate keeps leaving his stuff everywhere so I'm selling it individually starting off with this singular glove. A right-hand waterproof thermal glove, super handy for people with one hand. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it is.

It looks like a pretty good glove, to be honest. It looks well-worn, though, and it looks like it's got a little tear in the finger, so maybe it'll bring the price down. Yeah. This one is a warning from a Christchurch-based page. It says, I've seen a very angry large swarm of wasps or bees at 49 Norwood. They came from the street headed towards Colombo. Please be careful.

Good, you really want to know if it's wasps or bees. Yeah, one, honey-making friends, pollinators, lovers. Very unlikely to sting you. The other, little angry German... A-holes. A-holes. Yeah. Killer bees. Angry Germans. Stephanie says, how about we just leave them be?

Somebody else writes, just ask them to be hive. Wasp, you're going to do about it. Somebody else I have while we're in Christchurch is from the Roddison community page. I am looking for some free horse poo if anyone has some that they want to get rid of. Now the problem is they've misspelt horse. They've put the S at the end.

Oh dear. That of course makes it a completely different word, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Unless they are after exactly that and it makes a wonderful Oh, dear. So that, of course, makes it a completely different word, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And I don't know what... Unless they are after exactly that and it makes a wonderful garden fertilizer, I'm not exactly sure. And somebody else here, finally today, Rangiora. Steve said, it looks like someone didn't want to lose this key, but they have.

Now, it's a key on a key ring on a large chain connected to a large ladle. One of those cafes. That's a classic cafe. That's a cafe's toilet. It's a cafe toilet key, yeah. And yet they still lost the ladle key. They lost the entire thing. I hate those cafe keys on a big wooden block because how many people have touched those with poosy hands?

Oh, so shame as well. They're gross. I've got the poo stick. Yeah. Carry it back in with a paper towel from the toilet, dump it on the desk and be like, yuck. But if you are a cafe that's lost the key to the toilet, at the intersection of Mighty Ten and Pack and Save in Arrangiora.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page that tickles your fancy, screen cap it and send it to ours. F-V-H-ZZM on all the socials. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Uh, now sponsored posts. Yes.

You can earn lots of money from those. Oh God, you've got a little slither of light on your face, don't you? The sun, yeah, the morning sun's coming through the blinds. Don't, don't worry about that. I'm a broadcasting professional. The listener would never have known. I know, but it just distracts me. The other day, Vaughn, your beauty shook me.

Oh, yeah, really. And then they used their in-studio cameras to try to catch the beauty, but it was too much. I was radiating too much. Why are you so tanned? He's got a sunbed and he's got a solarium. You've got a sunbed? He's definitely sunburned.

No, I've been popping over to Jeremy Wells' solarium. Oh, beautiful. He lives in a solarium, but Jeremy's got the real estate for it. He gives me sunburned. I've been popping over to Jeremy Wells' solarium. Oh, beautiful. He lives in a solarium, but Jeremy's got the real estate for it. He gives me half an hour. No, I think it's because I've been doing my outside cycling again. Oh, have you? I've been doing some cycling. I've been at my outside cycling.

Have you been enjoying that? I'll get to the beach and I'll just sit in the sun for a little bit. Will you wear sunscreen, please? It's too early for sunscreen. No, it's not too early for sunscreen. You should sunscreen. I sunscreened all winter with more my outdoor chores Yeah why didn't a friend at the weekend have got sunburned?

Well yes it's that time of the year Yeah okay well it's that time You should sunscreen year round Carry on Anyway the highest earning celebs worldwide on Instagram This is going to be sickening amounts of money isn't it? This is going to be sickening amounts They do this every year they release this

How do they know? Is it just based on their followers or is this actually reported? No, it's reported earnings from Instagram. So there are now 34 accounts in the world that have over

100 million followers. Because what is it to get a Kardashian to do a post like a million dollars? That's coin compared to this. Yeah, right. I'll tell you what, on the top 10 from around the world, they don't even figure. Oh, wow. Okay.

Where's the first Kardashian? There's Khloe. No, way down the list. Okay. Okay. Okay. So now I know this. I've learned from you guys.

You go from the bottom. Now, there's some people that I don't know. So I'll start with someone I do. What position is that? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I'll go number ten is Dua Lipa. Okay. How much does she earn for a post?

From around the entire world through sponsored posts, she earns $13,013,046,529. Not a bad financial year for Dua Lipa. Not bad. And that's no music included in that. No touring, anything else. Just sponsored posts. Who did she do a sponsored post for?

I don't know. She would have just done a bunch of them. I don't know. I don't follow her on the gram. She's probably done a, what is it, a food boxy, my food bag box. Yeah, I think she hooked up with actually it was my food bag. It was Nadia Lim got her. Right.

And paid out the wazoo. Yeah. Above that is a few that I don't know. Two from Brazil and one from South Korea. Right. Musicians and actors. Okay. And then above that in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6th place is Kevin Hart.

Obviously. Really? Okay. 26 million, 118,000. Wow. Okay. Just above that with 33 million, just above, that's $7 million more, is Beyonce. Does she do a lot of like paid posts?

But then she wouldn't do many. She would do a few and earn just that much. Totally. I know, exactly. But also she's doing it for like other brands. Yes, that's what I was thinking. But then because she'd pay herself to do it. It's still counted. It's still counted as ad, even if you're promoting your own

company. Right. Just above her with only $10,000 more than that is Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, okay. Probably promoing her own stuff as well. Okay. Above that is Virat Kohli, who is an Indian sports person.

Yeah, cricket player. Cricket player. Lionel Messi. Yeah. He's a football player. 71. There's a big leap. There's 40 grand between Virat and...

It's Lionel, eh? Not Lionel. Yeah, Lionel. 71 million. I've just always said Lionel. Yeah. 72 million is his. And the number one from Portugal.

Can you guess it? Cristiano Ronaldo. Cristiano Ronaldo. Because he's also got one of the biggest Instagram accounts in the world. Huge. Yeah. So how much is he earning? $85 million.

Wow. And some thousands in there as well. Jeez, that's insane money, isn't it? Now, we've got the top earner for just New Zealand. It's going to be a sports person. I was like, oh, Simone Anderson. She's our number one influencer. And Sian XO, the OGs.

It is, of course, what's his name? Israel Adesanya. Israel Adesanya. Yeah, right. I don't know. He's the one that registered on the list because he's an internationally known New Zealander, but I don't think he'd be making as much money as those ones that are literally peddling multiple things every day.

So, for example, Cristiano Ronaldo, what did I say? $85 million a year. Israel Adesanya, who's my age, 33, $257,000 a year. Which, okay, we're like, it doesn't stack up, but that's a quarter of a million dollars a year on Instagram alone. For a Kiwi. I think those big number New Zealand influencers would be making more just on their

home soil. Yes, yes, yes. Well, how much does Israel Adesanya how many followers does he have? Probably millions. Go around all the different places getting all the different rate cards for how much it costs and I bet, yeah, they'll be making Yeah, wow.

Okay, well, there you go. You can't tell me Simone Anderson's not making more than $275,000 a year on Instagram posts. She's got to be. Well, she makes quite a lot off the sale of the stuff she puts on Trade Man. Which the IRD definitely want to slice off.

But look, I mean, look, there's money to be made. Go make it. Yeah. Why not? There you go. I mean, you don't need to even probably go to school today if you're... What are you going to learn there that's useful for the future? Every parent's nightmare. Some guy on the radio telling their kids they don't need to go to school because the future is influencing. So yesterday at the gym, I'm chatting to...

Journey to Health, by the way. Journey to Health. Hashtag Journey to Health. Yeah, Journey to Sore today. I've got a sore part. I tried to do some sit-ups and the back of my shorts was rubbing and now I've got a little sore part. Yeah, I've got sore glutes.

Yeah, well, nobody said... You've got muscle sore. That's good. I've got a sore spot. Oh, like a rad sore. You've got a sore because you were doing sit-ups on a zip. Sounds like you were wearing your zip pocket shorts. No, I wasn't wearing a zip pocket shorts.

Well, no one said the journey to health was going to be easy, guys. Well, anyway, after the class yesterday, I'm chatting to mutual friend Brad at the gym. And there's a guy over from me and he was looking. And then he came over and I was like, still got it. Here we go. I was like, still got it, no. And he said, hey, could I borrow some deodorant? And I was like, this is weird.

Does your gym not have a deodorant rack? No, we don't have any extra products. There's communal deodorant at my gym. Ew. I think it's a gym policy because it's at more than one. No, it's like spray on. It's probably a policy out it's at more than one. No, it's like spray on. It's probably a policy out where you live

because people smell. Why? What would you, why would you say that? Trash. Because trash. It's just trash. Trash.

Hayley, you live out where I live. It's such a trash region. Yeah. And so, and this guy's like, and because I don't have any deodorant in my bag,

I deodorize before I go to the gym and then when I get home, I shower. So I don't need deodorant. What are you doing in theize before I go to the gym, and then when I get home, I shower. So I don't need deodorant. What are you doing in the changing rooms if you're not showering? Well, I'd leave all my shit in the locker. Yeah, you'd just keep your stuff. I've got to have my pro-shake straight away.

If you're just over the road, what are you taking me? No, this is the city gym. I'm away from home. Anyway, so I'm like, well, I don't have any. I'm sorry. And then I said to my friend Brad, I said, Brad, can the scope borrow some deodorant? Like, I just put it on him.

Why would he drink a brand of the bus for? Yeah, it's got to be aerosol. You would never borrow someone's roll-on. Not a stranger. No, you can't do that. But then this is what I was, Brad was like a bit taken back. He was like, okay. And he was nearly out.

He's like, well, I don't know if there's any left, but there'll be a little bit in there. And he said, here, just take the can and chuck it out when you're done. We'll keep it. Oh, wow. But I was like, what, would you ask a stranger, or should you ask a stranger to borrow deodorant? Just when you said you don't share roll-on deodorant, I remember at high school, Mum wouldn't buy me spray-on Lynx Africa.

What a B. How were you meant to get the girls? Well, I had roll-on Lynx Africa. Oh, okay. And I remember somebody asked to borrow some once, and I was like, but it's like, you can't put the ball on your arm. It goes in my, and they were like,

well, what if I rub the ball on my hand and then rub the hand on it? Oh, that's worse. It's like your hands, it's like you're cupping my, what we ended up doing was squeezing the thing and popping the ball out. And then I just poured a tiny amount in their hands and they rubbed it like that.

Oh, my God. So precious. I've shared roll-on with so many women. Yeah, but this was when we were all just starting to get little underarm pubes. It was a real confusing time. Everyone got changed with the town. Girls were more open about that sort of stuff.

Yeah. I mean, I'll share roll-on. I'd share roll- on with any of you if I was in a desperate pinch. Because I've shared your, every now and again, I might forget my deodorant. I'll be like,

did I put deodorant on today? And I'll borrow yours. But I don't do aerosol anymore. I'm a speed stick guy. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm a speed stick guy. So it's been that long

since I haven't borrowed deodorant off you. Yeah, it's been a long time. I'm not using a speed stick. Speed sticks are gross. I don't know, you can't use my speed stick. They're gross. No, speed sticks, they're can't use my speed stick. They're the greatest. They're the best.

You spray. I'm a Mitchum. I'm a Mitchum gel. Mitchum speed stick. It comes in a stick, right? You click it. Yeah, but I don't like the stick one so much. I use the gel. It goes... But if you had a spray, would you let someone at the gym use it? You wouldn't have a problem with that? I'd find it very weird to be asked, but I guess I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I know, because it was unusual. I feel like it's less weird if you're a woman. I feel like it's a little bit more communal in there. Could I administer it? What, so they didn't spray too much? Arms up, arms up. Yeah, yeah, I'd say arms up and psst, psst. That's all you're getting. Do you do a double follow-up spray?

So let the first layer get a little bit dry and then follow it up with the second one. And one for the crotch as well. Oh, yeah, fair offering. Don't be putting that down there. Just a little bit. See, this is how bad they smell out there at that gym. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. 8 o'clock on Friday it's a return New Zealand of the long weekend group toot yes ahead of the long labour weekend

so join us if you're in traffic on Friday from 8 o'clock for the long weekend group toot super excited about this yeah me too

coming up on the show as well I would like to finally decide as a nation on the show as well. I would like to finally decide as a nation on the etiquette of reading numbers out to somebody. I had a frustrating call centre experience. Oh, yeah.

You mean like when you go, what's your number? And you go 027- Yes. 961. Whoa, whoa. Phone numbers is a different game altogether. Credit cards, I do the four numbers. Credit cards, four, four, four, four.

Four lots of four. This was an insanely long, I'll actually find the actual reference number I had to read out to this joker. And I'll show you how staggered it went. It took far longer than it should have.

ZM brings you Lewis Capaldi. ZM proud to announce Lewis Capaldi. Capaldi. Capaldi? I say Capaldi. I say Capaldi. Capaldi. Lewis Capaldi.

Look, Capaldi, potato, potato, potato. Potato, Capaldi. Potato, Capaldi, Capaldi, potato. These two shows, Auckland Spark Arena, July 18. TSB Arena in Wellington, July 19. The tickets go on sale not this Friday, but next Friday, the 28th of October, from livenation.co.nz. If you would like to win a double pass, call us right now.

It's Capaldi. 0800 dials at M. It's spelt Capaldi, but it's Lewis Capaldi. That's how I've always said it. It's pronounced Capaldi. No, sorry, it's spelt like Capaldi. But if you go, you know, sound like how to do a pronunciation, Lewis Capaldi.

So she was right, you were right, we are wrong, Vaughn. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm not wrong. I'm a white man. ZM, good morning. Who's this? Hello? Hello, who's this?

Mimi? Oh, this is Mimi. Mimi. Mimi. Your name is fun to see. Mimi. Yay, oh my God. You got the very first double pass to see Lewis Capaldi. Mimi! Mimi! Your name is fun to say. Mimi! Yay! Oh, my God.

You got the very first double pass to see Lewis Capaldi. Capaldi. Capaldi. Thank you so, so much. Now, what if other radio stations are claiming that they're giving away the first double pass? What would you say to them? Well, we are presenting it, so they can't.

I don't know. Take that, suckers. I mean, they will. They'll say stuff like, we're bringing it, but we're actually paying for the flights. Yeah, I had to transfer money. We all chipped in. Yeah, we chipped in. Cody flies business too.

This has cost me a fortune. Oh my God. I can only take one of my children away this holiday. Yeah, I know. Mimi's fun. Mimi, can you ring again another day as well? I'll keep trying. This will be my new job.

Do you just want to join the show? Yeah, I can. Come on, Fletch, Fawn, Hayley and Mimi. I'll keep trying. This will be my new job. Do you just want to join the show? Yeah. I've got a flinch for Hayley and Mimi. And Mimi. Yeah. Mimi.

Sounds great. Yeah, fantastic. I think we should just scrap our names and just call this The Mimi Show. The Mimi Show. The Mimi Hour.

Yeah. What does it ring? The Mimi Show because we want it to be a three-hour show still. Mimi, a lot of content weight's going to fall on your shoulders. You say it's fun and useful. I've just been told that we're not presenting the show at all

and that now we're claiming that we've paid for the flights, but we haven't. We're not presenting it. What did they do with that money that I put into Mimi's account? I don't know. Mimi, you son of a gun. I ain't going to need that money back. The thing is you cannot trust radio stations when they're claiming to present a show.

You can't trust them. What is ZM? Sometimes none of us are presenting it, but we're claiming it. It's Live Nation. What about ZM? What part of ZM brings you, Lewis Capaldi tells us that we're not presenting it? ZM brings you. We're presenting.

Yeah, but that brings you as a way of getting around presents. Which is the official word? Which is it? Which is it? Live Nation presents. Yeah. Okay. But we're bringing it.

I'll just keep saying you are doing it. We're the ones giving you the tickets, Mimi. So, absolutely, you shouldn't say that. Zed Mimi. Zed Mimi. That's your new name. Z-time. We present Mimi, too.

Well, ZM presents Mimi, the newly rebranded Z-Mimi. From NZME. Mimi, congratulations, a double pass there to lewiscapaldi, livenation.co.nz for all the tickets and we're definitely presenting that. Brought to you by. I've just presented, brought to you by. We're presenting the fact that we're bringing it to you.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. ZM, the station doing something with Lewis Capaldi and maybe Harry Styles and every artist out there. We're a station. I can confirm. I've looked it up. We are a station.

We're a radio station. Now, the rest of the sentence, that's the part that's up in the end and all the hints. Yeah. Okay. Executive Internania's just messaged me, stop being F. No, it starts with F.

The word is stop being F. Oh, okay starts with F. The word is stop being F. Oh, okay. Okay. Because she'll get told off by someone later. You and then there's two more letters and then an S. Stop being. Wow. She is leaving and.

Foxes. Foxes. She could have said it there. Anyway. We wouldn't dare. We're good boys. And. Gal. We wouldn't dare. We're good boys. And? Gal.

That's alright. I just wanted to confirm. Whatever. I have, I had an issue. I reckon you've got a list of them, mate. There's a long list of ongoing issues. And I think sometimes I'm really excited, like right now, because we're teasing and some people are like, sometimes I'm really low on

energy. That's called bipolar. I think it might be. I think from here, we need help from people listening that, A, work in call centres, or B, have a strong opinion about this. Because I do. I definitely do. Yes. So I received an email from my insurance company.

I won't say which one, but it is Lord of the Rings, the twin AMIs. Lord of the Rings the twin stakes. I think that's what the movie was called. The AA towers? Yeah.

Is that it? No. Yes. The twin. They've got a lighthouse, don't they? Yeah, which is, I've got a problem with as well

because that's a lighthouse. It's not a tower. It is a tower of sorts. It's a a tower. It is a tower of sorts. It's a lighthouse. A lighthouse is a tower, though. It needs to be one of those towers. Let me look up the dictionary definition of a tower. Dictionary meaning.

But you're right, a lighthouse is a lighthouse. So it should be called a lighthouse. A tall, narrow building, either freestanding or forming part of a building such as a church or castle. But that's fine. But what I'm saying, yes, use the castle turret. A tall, narrow building.

It's a castle tower, but they're using a lighthouse, which is more well-known as a lighthouse than it is as a tower. Okay. So what tower would you like them to use in their logo? One of those ones that sits above? No, that's off-limits. In fact, was it called the Two Towers or the Twin Towers?

Twin Towers. No, the Second Lord of the Rings movie. The Two Towers. Two Towers. I said Twin Towers. You can see my confusion. Yeah. But I'm not running an insurance company.

No. So give me a break. Yeah. They should use one of those towers that sits above the forest that Canadians have to look out for wildfires. Oh, yeah, those are cool. Because we're on the lookout for you. Or like a lifeguard tower.

A watchtower. A lifeguard tower. A watchtower. A watchtower. But see, that's a watchtower. But it's still a tower. It's a tower. It's less a tower than a lifeguard tower. A watchtower. A watchtower. A watchtower. But see, that's a watchtower. But it's still a tower. But it's less of a tower than a lighthouse. Yeah.

Which is a nautical safety beacon. So they email me saying, you've missed a recurring payment. I've got my insurance on automatic payments. Cost of living. Tough times, man. And immediately I say to Sade, you bought another Aneen Bing top, didn't you?

This is my immediate defence now if there's any. Why isn't it enough money to have that Aneen Bing? I know, Aneen Bing, whatever you call them. Because it's well known. There's a girl in the gym

wearing an Aneen Bing yesterday. I'm like, you can't wear a $400 sweatshirt to the gym. There's a girl in our gym that wears one too and every time I see it, it's like this grey hoodie

and I'm like, what are you doing? From a lovely occasion. And that wears one too And every time I see it it's like this grey hoodie And I'm like what are you doing Save it for a lovely occasion And that's like a yearly insurance premium So they email me and say you've missed a recurring payment And I'm like this can't be right Anyway I checked there was money in the account Right

So they say call us and recite And tell us this number As soon as I get paid Automatic payments it scatters. Yeah, it pings out. It scatters to all the things I have to pay to keep my life going. And one of them is insurance because I wouldn't be without it. Yeah.

Not necessarily tar insurance, just insurance. They're not giving me any freebies. In fact, I've just told them they've got a terrible emblem. Terrible logo. So it says at the top, quote this number. Now, I believe this to be my customer number, so I'm not going to read it out. Okay. This isn't your first rodeo. Someone listening will ring up and put some

dunga car on my bloody customer thing. Yeah. How many numbers is it? So it goes letter, number, number, number. Number, number, number, number. Number, number, number, number. Yes, yeah. There aren't even that many people in New Zealand.

Exactly. Why does it need to be that long? Why does it need to be that long? That's your client number. Yes. That's too long, yeah. Too long. Yeah.

Too long. They're being too, they set their sights too high. They're never going to have that many people. No. No. So I ring up and I say, hello, I'm calling because I received an email saying I've missed a recurring payment. Yeah. And they say, oh, what's your customer number?

And I said, I have it here. Yeah. Now I read it out. I go, letter, number, number, number, and four. Gap, do the second four. Gap, do the third four. Yes. The guy on the phone goes, hold on. Okay, so I've second four. Gap, do the third four. Yes. The guy on the phone

goes, hold on. Okay, so I've got the letter. Oh, jeez. I'm like, why did you let me keep going? Stop me after the first four if I'm starting the second four and you haven't got the first four. But no, this is on you. Did you wait for him to repeat those back? No, but I left a gap to indicate, like,

if you've got a problem, speak now. Oh, no, I don't go on until they've read it back to me. No, but sometimes they don't. Start reading it back then. I've left a gap for you to insert the reading card. Okay, if they don't read it back, at least hear an audible, yep, okay. Yes, that's what I need. I was waiting for that.

Four, seven, six, six. Yep. Cool. Three, seven, you know, whatever. So then I go back to the start. Yep. And I go letter, number, number, number, number, four. Cool. Three, seven, you know, what do you have? So then I go back to the start. Yep. And I go letter, number, number, number, number, four. Yep.

And he's like, hold on, two at a time. Two at a time. You're going to the call centre. You've got to be capable of knowing as I'm saying it. So he wanted like J1. Yes. And then he'd go, yes. Six, four. We're going to be here all day. But even as yes he'd go, yes. Six, four.

We're going to be here all day. But even his yes is like. Groups of four. It's got to be groups of four. It's got to be groups of four. It's got to be groups of four. It's got to be groups of four. Oh, yeah.

Four is side note. Side note, I hadn't missed a recurring payment. There was some sort of error. Right. And he said, if you do miss a recurring payment, we'll email you. I said, yes, you did. And he said, oh, yes, and then the credit team will call you i was like i don't want them calling me no no no that sounds like a last resort and he's like yes but that's why we emailed you i thought yes but you didn't email me and he's like yes because of miss recurring payment i said so i

did miss one and he's like not that i can see oh wow what is this thing there was a whole lot of confusion that second care of that's by the by's this, how many numbers should I be reading out in one go before waiting for either a read back or a confirmation that those numbers have been received? And this is what I think we need to ask people that have experience working in call centres because you don't know what system they're using. And the time that you're reading out,

they could be having to, I don't know, navigate different screens. Absolutely. What is, if you work in a call centre or you have, what is the ideal amount of numbers that people should read out? Should they read out two and then wait? Should they read out four and then wait? Or should they plough on? Or should they just plough

on through the number? Obviously not like 7, 6, 4, 3, 9, but just something like 2, 3, 2, 4 7, 6, 4, 4 Yeah, good but just something like 2, 3, 2, 4, 7, 6, 5, 5. Yeah, good pacing. Da, sha, ga, da. You should be capable of doing four. I believe I could do four and I don't work in a call centre.

Yeah, I think I'd do four. And phone numbers are different. Phone numbers is 021, then like 593, 3, then 4. My wife, my wife. Very nice. My wife reads 4, then 4. My wife, my wife, very nice, my wife, reads 4 then 3.

Wait, can I do that? And it is a huge issue I have with her. She goes 0216. No, no, she'll go 021 5933

954. Oh, she's a psychopath. She's a psychopath. Go 021 593 3954. That's just a made up number. By the way,

this is not my wife's phone number. I do, I changed. I've actually switched. I used to do 433 and now I do 334. You used to do 433. Because it matched with the rhyme.

So say it was like 0276. No. Something, something 6. Something, something 6. There might be a drop down box for 027 or 021. Yeah, and now they're going to remember your six. I saw the error of my ways, and now I'm 027.

Yeah. So, so, so. Yeah, okay. So, so, so. That's the way to go. Three, then four. Three, three, four. Or for those weird people, three, three, three.

Or for the weirder people, three, three, five. Right. No, okay, well. If it's a three, three, five, it's a three, four, four. Get out. No. No, if it's a 335, it's a 344. Get out. No. No, no, no. Five's too many to remember.

It's not the rhythm. It's not the rhythm. Okay, let's hear now. 0800-DIALS-IT-M is the number. You can text us to get through as well. 9696. How should you read numbers to the person on the call centre? We want some expertise as well.

Do you go two numbers, wait for their response? Do you go four numbers, wait for their response? Or do you read the whole number? Or do you have another method? Or is there another way? I'm open to a better method, but I don't know if you're going to find a better one than four, four, four, four. Like groups of four. This is a very important discussion

and I tell you what, the nation is riled up about this. When you're on the phone to someone in a call centre, how do you read back like a long reference number or a phone number? Do you do it in twos or fours or do you do the whole thing? People are getting racked up and no one more so than our very own Anna Henbest. Producer Anna, who you've input a lot of phone numbers. So many, every day.

Now, you took exception to when I said that when I read out a number, a credit card number or a phone number, I will read out two or four. If it's a credit card, I will pause and wait for an audible acknowledgement, affirmation that you've entered those digits. Yeah. You hate that. It kills me.

I have a radio degree. I have done this job a long time. Yeah. You hate that. It kills me. Like, uh-huh. Yeah. I have a radio degree. I have done this job a long time. I can handle listening to more than a couple of digits, you know? Oh, wow. And if I need clarification, I'll ask. So it's like an insult to your intelligence.

It's just like, yeah. Like, it's just painful. But to me, it's saving everybody time. Because there's no repetition needed. Yeah, I could literally read it out once. I love we live in a country where this is our biggest problem of the day. I just love it. I love it.

We are lucky. No, we're just skirting around. But now I'm angry. We don't have remote control drones raining down on our city. No, no, just, we're scooting around. But now I'm angry. We don't have remote control drones raining down on our city. No, no, no, no, we don't. We don't. We're not, you know, fighting mass oppression or anything like that. And God, I feel so sorry for those countries every time I see them.

But I am so very, very thankful to be living in a country where right now we could be having a full-blown argument about how to say numbers. People are getting rocked. You would rather someone read out their whole phone number and then at the end you read it back? No. Oh, yeah, I do read it back. No, no, I do read it back. That'll be why they're like, someone said they were going to call me back about my prize

and no one ever called me. I know. You're writing a number down wrong. No, okay, look, I'm fine with a little pause. If you give me four numbers and then a second pause, that's cool. But do not wait for me to say yeah. Wow. I can handle you.

Write this number down. Write this number down. 021-649-7758. You said yup. You didn't want her to wait to say yup. You said yup. A natural prompt, an unprompted yup is fine. You're going to say yup. You're going to talk over her number. But when it's like 021

yup. Alright, well let's somebody messaged in And they said They are so pleased With having this conversation Because they always Have a go at their wife After they've heard her

On the phone When she gives her phone number I've changed her phone number But let's say her phone number Is 021-593-395 Yep She says It's 021-59-3395

No No What are you You're not a car yard On a radio ad No No What You're not a car yard on a radio ad. No! No! What a monster.

What a monster. The only number that you can do that on is 0800 8383. Pick up Pizza Hut. And that's the only number you can say 83. What if I've got four numbers on my credit card that are exactly the same? What would you do? What do you mean?

Oh, yeah. You've got like a triple four. A quad. Oh, no, I wouldn't say quad four. No, you'd just go, I'd say double four, double four. I would say four to the power of four. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, because then they're going to write down 16.

Let's go to Cameron. You worked as an ex-taxi dispatcher, Cameron. Yes, that is correct. I did too. Right, now how... And it was horrible. I know because you'd... I can hear the trauma. Yeah, you'd have to deal with it. He had is correct, I did too. And it was horrible. I can hear the trauma. He had a real passion for the job.

Now Cameron, what did you prefer when people were writing numbers to you? Well if it's a phone number, because I got phone numbers nearly every freaking call it was 334 or if it's a home phone it's 33 and maybe the extra number at the end or 34 or if it's a home phone, it's 33,

and maybe the extra number at the end, or 34. But if it's addresses, you just say the address number or the credit card number or building number, whatever, just say it. And then occasionally I might ask you to repeat one or two numbers, but then I'll give a confirmation back and say it, and everyone's happy as Larry. He's got his method right. I'm going to show us that death by

yelling down the phone. I think we're in agreement with Cameron. 3-3-4. Or 3-4 if it's a home number. Will you, if I was reading the number and I said, you know, 0-2-1 and then would you give me a yep or would you just say nothing? Depends. Depends

on the person on the phone. What would you do to this person? what would you do to this person? I can tell he's incompetent. What would you do to this person? Thank you, sir. 026. She doesn't have a mobile. 026.

She's on the 026 network. You'd have to say, I think you might be confused. 025, are you there? Hello? Cameron, thanks for your call. Fiona, you're a call centre worker. Tell us how you like it said to you on centre worker. Tell us how you like it. Sid, do you want to find out?

Tell us how you like it. So I work in banking. Okay. So we use either customer numbers, account numbers, cell phone numbers, or card numbers to verify people. All of them, all of them. But if you're asking someone if they've got a number that you can verify them with,

you've obviously got the screen up already to be able to input it. So give it to me however you like. If you stop for a pause, I'm going to say yep. But I would very much prefer you just read the whole thing out because then if I can't... Because you're already looking at the number. This is your job.

Right. Okay. Okay, what about if I wanted to say to you my account number? Most people with account numbers will put just a little pause in between the different parts of the account number, so they'll stop after the first two and then where there's the dashes. Yeah. The different numbers are different groups, aren't they?

Why? But the seven do you do for three? Okay, here's a question I've always wanted to know. A little sidetrack here. Why sometimes, you know, your account suffix is three zeros, but then sometimes you just use two? I see mine's two, but then if you're ever three, it's zero. Yeah.

Five five. Yeah. Like, why? Don't yell at her. It's the way the banking system works for international transfers more than anything else. Right. The New Zealand Bank only use two-digit suffixes. Oh, right. It's the way the banking system works for international transfers more than anything else. The New Zealand bank only use two-digit suffixes,

which is why the first, if you put three, the first one's always a zero because we don't use it. But it is used in the international system. Oh, thank you for answering that. If your suffix is 00, do you say 000? Do you say 00 or 00? But if your suffix is like 91, do you say 091? Okay, well, that's a great tip from Fiona. Thank you, Fiona.

Read out the whole number. If you know that they're just, if they've got all the details on their screen. I'm just verifying you. Yeah. Just read them out. What's the military alphabet called? Is that the phonetic alphabet? Yeah.

You know, like T for tango. No, it's called something else. Phonetic. It's not phonetic because phonetic is like an actual language. Yeah. Military. The military. Somebody said they should teach that in school. Yeah, because. Phonetic It's not phonetic What is it called? Because phonetic is like an actual language Yeah Military The military Somebody said they should teach that in school

Yeah because Because when you're on a call and you're like NATO It's the NATO alphabet Yeah Is it? Yeah Because it's like

Especially if it's a foreign course They're like M or N Yeah And you're like M for Michael Mike Is Mike the

An N for Nelly I always say Nelly Because I love Nelly You're a huge Nelly fan Yeah, and you're like M for... Michael. Mike. Is Mike the... And N for Nelly. I always say Nelly because I love Nelly. You're a huge Nelly fan. That's why I say R with me and you sing a little... That's why I say K for Kelly, P for plaster on your face. Yeah. B for brother in prison.

Yeah, all my NATO references are just hip hop. R for ride with me. Yeah. L for longest mile, the movie he was in E for Eminem obviously Yeah because they were buddies Were they buddies were they? Yeah

Okay so that's E for Eminem now that's great The Nelly Alpha Man W for Where Is He Now Yes B for Bulk because he got Bulk he got Bulk at one stage

Z for Zeddy Yeah because he would be now Alright just quickly to finish up messages through what are the overwhelming Z for... Zeddy. Yeah, because he would be now. All right. Just quickly to finish up messages through, what are the overwhelming, if you had to summarise, Vaughn? Good God, that was the worst drive to work chat ever.

Oh. Did you want feedback about the actual numbers or feedback on the show? We're the station somewhat involved with Harry Styles. I believe we're a station confirmed. Harry Styles is coming. Lock it in. You do the rest. You draw the lines. believe we're a station confirmed. Harry Styles is coming. Lock it in. You do the rest. You draw the lines.

New Zealand? Maybe we're involved. Maybe. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's spec of the day is about a work perk at a work... Are you... Well, are you okay? No, I thought it sounded more like I was just like,

it's about a bloody work perk. You know, these kids are all about their work perks. If you work at Ben and Jerry's, you are entitled to three quarts of free ice cream a day. What's a quart? One of those. Little tubs. One of those Ben and Jerry tubs.

Per day. Per day. I wouldn't need that. I couldn't. I'd have a freezer at home, but it would just constantly be like. You'd be gifting it to people, like, oh, my God, please take some ice cream. Yeah, give, give. Is this just in America?

Or is this, do you think the New Zealand people? It's a lot of ice cream. I think we'd be on somewhat of a tighter budget. Yeah. Yeah. That's not, it can't be. Well, do you know, producer Anna's leaving. She said that her new workplace has got a fruit bowl.

I know. A fruit bowl. Must be nice. Fruit bowl. We don't get anything. We don't even get Milo. There is free Milo. There is Milo.

Is there Milo? Yeah, it's beside the tin coffee. Oh, for God's sake, it's October. It's not in the tin. It's in, they put it into another dish. That's why you haven't seen it. It's not Milo then. It's Born Vita. No, it's October. It's not in the tin. They put it into another dish. That's why you haven't seen it. It's not Milo then. It's Born Vita.

No, it's Milo. It comes from the big catering size. They do it at Office Max. I'm dubious. They do an Office Max supply. Yeah. Well, I want Fruit Bowl, not Milo anyway. Journey to Health.

Oh, there's no Fruit Bowl. Well, you know that when that Journey to Health ends. You know if there was a Fruit Bowl here, it would just be covered in fruit flies anyway. Just sit there and no one would clean Well, you know that when that journey to health ends. You know if there was a fruit bowl here, it would just be covered in fruit flies anyway. Just sit there and no one would clean it up and then it'd be covered in fruit flies. So today's fact of the day is working at Ben and Jerry's, you aren't told to three tubs of ice cream a day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Have you lied to your partner about a purchase? Something I've admitted to many, many times before. But, you know, a little white lie. Never hurt anybody?

Never hurt anybody, ever, in life. While the results are in, 31% said nah, which only leaves 69% saying yes, they have. That many people cannot be that honest. 31% saying that they'd never done it. All the time. Some feedback. Dana, my ex literally thought I was an Instagram influencer. Every time new clothes showed up, I told him they were hashtag gifted

and sent to me. Lol, bless his soul. Oh, what a dum-dum. What a dum-dum. How many followers does she have? 80? Probably like none. Shayla says I get my online shopping center work

and slowly add items into the general wardrobe population. In my mind, it works. Unfortunately, I think my partner now knows and chooses to start a spat with me instead. Oh, okay. I do that. Also, a lot of my clothes are black, so Aaron's just like black top, black pants.

Cool. He's like a really primitive kind of censor. She's wearing pants and a top. I know she owns one of those. Now, I looked her up. She is quite influential. We know this person that said they're an influencer. We've met them, and they are in their industry.

Oh, yeah. But the 1,600 followers, I think he absolutely got sawn up the bloody strain. I don't know, but that's believable. Yeah. For real life. Wow. Yeah.

Brendan says, I said I'd bought AirPod Pros with real money. Yeah. I actually used Afterpay, which she was dead set against. Yeah. She never knew, and now we're not together, and I still have sweet, sweet tunes in my ears. Oh, wow. Louise says, I always

lie about how makeup... I always lie! No, about how much makeup costs and always say I needed it as I ran out. That's me too. If Aaron knew how much my, like, foundation or skincare was, he'd be like, for a moisturiser! Yeah, I've got no idea how much makeup costs, but it would but I'm sure it would blow my mind.

You could buy cheap stuff for sure, but I've just got a sensy face and I like what I like. I'll Google it. What do you use? Give me an example of... Well, no, not what you use, but give me an example of... Look at her face. Now I'm going to go home and Google... And stand in our bathroom Googling all the products I can see.

No, I'm not doing this to Sade again. I'm the one who led you to a mean thing. You led me right. You led this greedy little pig straight to the trough that was a mean thing. You know, we're heading for a recession. Absolutely. Tighten the belts. Kmart makeup.

Now this one, I don't know who this has been sent in by. Look sharp, maker. I don't know who this has been sent in by, but it, maker. I don't know who this has been sent in by, but it said anonymous please in case he's listening. I buy a Neen Bing and then tell him I bought it on sale. Tell my husband I bought it on sale. I bought it second hand. I've done that.

Even if you were getting a half price Neen Bing hoodie, that is still a lot of money. I'm going to see who that name's been cropped out. I feel like I'm going to need to go into the official account to see who that is. Get out! Just like the girls have got an anine-bing sisterhood, well, I'm starting a brotherhood.

A brotherhood of men who can't. Anine-bing survivors. I will never financially recover from this. No, you won't. Natasha says, I received a message from my husband one day at work saying he had purchased, quote, us a gift. I was waiting in anticipation all day

wondering what it could be. A holiday maybe? I get home and I see an empty PS5 box next to the outside bin. Turns out the gift for us was the damn PlayStation. Divorce was considered. That's on you if you don't want to play the PlayStation though. Yeah. Oh my god, Scott messages saying

I'm literally buying a jet ski right now. A few white lies have been told about pricing and accessories. A few white lies. Wow, good luck with that, Scott. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Personal hygiene. What do men prioritise and what do women prioritise? They did a study.

You won't believe it. In New York. Okay. And it looked at... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean? Areas? Yeah, like where we're concentrating on types of hygiene. Okay. So across

the board, we are all prioritizing, number one, washing our hands. Oh, yeah, right. That's number one. Number two, washing our bodies. 90% of us are doing this. I thought brushing our teeth would have been... Followed closely by 87% brushing their teeth.

Do you remember when the pandemic first happened and everyone came out and was like... Oh, they're not brushing their teeth? People were forgetting or just not brushing their teeth for days. Because they'd fallen out of their usual routine. Yeah, manky. And then the fourth one is applying deodorant. So those are the four that we

share across genders. Right. Hands, body, teeth, pits. Then we split. So women are more likely to prioritise washing their intimate areas. Now I've got an issue with this, because it washes itself. Is it self-cleaning?

But the outside needs a scrub. The mound. Yes. Yes, the mound. Which I've never, by the way, I think in 18 years, 20 years on radio, 18 years, I don't think we've ever said mound on the show. No, I don't think we ever have.

And here she comes. Unless you're in some kind of baseball context. Yes, perhaps. I would consider the mound as part of washing the body. Yes, true. Yes, I mean true because then you start breaking it down. So we're more likely to prioritise that over men. But that's what I thought would have been.

You're more likely to wash your bits than we are to wash ours. Your bits. Ours are external. Are you kidding me? Not self-cleaning. Yeah. Less men are concerned with washing bits

than women washing bits. Maybe it also includes back bits. Back bits, front bits. Always wash your bits. Always wash your bits. Especially if you've got to get under the hood.

Yeah, exactly. Or whatever, if you're convertible, we're not here to judge. In fact, some people, when they're born, they rip the roof off. Clean the car, so it's a convertible. Feel the wind through your hair. Yeah, you do.

Sometimes it's cold, but that's just life as a convertible. We always look cool. Your parents have given you a lifetime of hand moisturiser buying. But then sometimes I feel like the hood's doing all the heavy lifting. Let's have a look under the hood. Yeah. So women prioritize washing their intimate areas and their skincare routine. That bit's not surprising.

Men are more likely to stay on top of cutting their nails and shaving their face. Well, yeah. Yeah, right. But that's because men shave their face more than women. Speak for yourself. And then, surprisingly, the one set that is surprising, men are more likely to wash their hair more than twice a week

because it doesn't take you as long. No, it's a real undertaking. For us, it's a day, you know. Anyway, wash your bits. Yeah, wash your bits. But only the outside, only the mound. Okay. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars

because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review

for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars

on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants oh I was going to say it's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley