ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 1st August 2022

Episode Date: July 31, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. We've been doing all this late night talking. Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. I was just sharing with you guys that I pulled up at the lights over the weekend. I was in my Suzuki Jimny and I pulled up alongside another Jimny driver. Was that a white girl from the North Shore? It was.

I don't want to assume age, but I'm guessing 35-ish. Yeah. I saw someone driving a Jimny at the weekend, and it made me chuckle. Closer to your mum and my mum's age. Driving a Jimny? A Jimny. Strange car for a person in their 60s or 70s. Why not?

Why? It's a big way to... Easy to park. Yep, but it's a long way to get up. Silly as well. There's a bit of a step up. There's a bit of a step up for an older. You get to that age where your car purchases are a lot on how easy it is to get in and out of.

Too low, they can't get out of it. Yeah. Too easy. Too high, they can't get into it yeah they've got to go through it or like my dad it's got gears too too hard oh yeah you don't want gears you don't need gears so i pulled up and i waved and then she like looked confused and gave me a reluctant wave so i went down my window which now looking back on it was a little bit intimidating and so she went down her window.

And because we're both in jimneys, we're at the same height. And I said, hi. And she was like, hello. I was like, just doing the jimney wave. And she's like, what? I said, when you drive a jimney, you wave at other jimney drivers. And she's like, oh, my God. She's like, I thought something was wrong with my car because everyone's flashing their lights.

I was like, no, it's the jimney wave. And she's like, they their lights. I was like, no, it's the chimney wave. And she's like, they're everywhere. I was like, yeah, I know. Is this a thing? Is this a real thing? Absolutely. Or is it something you've created since you had a chimney? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean, I've found any time you're driving, Land Rovers are the same. When you're driving, you're like, many people are big on it. Volkswagen, Beetle people, old or new, they always like weigh out. Big personality cars. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, waving to every Toyota Corolla you see if you're in a Corolla. I was going to say, does this car wing do this with the leaf? Is that what you've got?

An Aqua. An Aqua. Do you do this? Do you do the Aqua wave to other Aqua users? If I did that to every other Aqua in Auckland, I'd spend the whole time waving and no driving. It's dangerous. It's too dangerous. If you had a Prius, you'd be waving a lot too.

A lot of waving. A lot of Prii on the road. A lot of waving. Prius. So yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you're driving a car and you're getting a lot of waves, it's probably from the same sort of car. Yeah, didn't your wife drive you to Germany

and wonder why people were waving to her? She said I got three, I think she got like three Germany waves on the way to the supermarket and back. I was like, yeah, I told you. And I think she actually felt pretty good waves On the way to the supermarket And back I was like I told you And I think she actually Felt pretty good about it Did she?

Yeah So wave to them I always forget If I'm driving the family car I'll wave to chimneys Oh no don't do that That's just pissy That's psychopathic

Somebody in a jeep Wrangler Gave me a wave When I was in the chimney And I gave them a thumbs down Whoa Sassy Sassy little bitch

Aren't I? Wow, you got here to start a war? Yeah, the little wee chimney throwing the big American dog a little bit of sass. No. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Think about him every day. I think we should start the show and Carl Wayne at the social

media desk should tell everybody what she spent her cost of living payment on early. This is pretty rude. I don't want to feel attacked like this. I spent it on food, obviously. No, Uber Eats. Uber Eats last night.

I enjoyed every second of it. What did you get? I don't know what the name is, but it was a Chinese soup. It was really, really yum. Oh, yeah. And a popcorn. And some little crispy noodles.

Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, good stuff. I'm down with that, actually. I think that's money well spent. Thank you. Well, it was, you know, the economy. It's to heat you up all right. And soup famously will.

It was very spicy, so it did, in fact, heat me up. It did warm you up. I want to know how much of these cost of living payments are going on weed. They should do it. Okay, Hosking. They should do it. I bet it's all being spent on weed. Do you reckon they're going to do a survey afterwards and say what did you spend it on?

I want to see, yeah, what people spend it on. Heating, food, weed. We could do a silly little poll on it. What did you spend yours on? Yeah, we could. That's a silly little survey. That's a silly little survey, yeah. Yeah, you need more options than just two.

Yeah. Weed or food. Good on you, mate. All right, coming up on the show The top six Well, we're actually Looking into The top six things That the winter energy payment Is likely to be spent on

Right Do you know there'll be Some old Some old battlers Having a bitch and a winch About this Yeah But literally

As over 65s They get an increase To their old person's benefit Don't let them call it super Call it the old person's benefit They get an increase Over the winter months To help let them call it super. Call it the old person's benefit. They get an increase over the winter months to help keep them warm. So don't take it from them if they're... So when you go whinging about it,

if they're over 65, they're already getting a bit of a winter kickback. That's why you call your dad a beneficiary. I do, and he loves it. And mum's turning a beneficiary next March. So I love reminding her she's going to be a beneficiary too. Hey, the bonus banger is back today. And we've got your chance each day to win $500 cash.

So we'll tell you soon. What's the song? I'll tell you soon what it is. Just tell us now and then tell us then again. No, I'll tell you then. When? So I've got to get people listening. When?

Tell me when. I'll tell you at 6.30. That's ages away. I'm not waiting that long. Okay, well. Also are we doing more work than the government? We're giving away $500. That winter energy payment was... Only to one person versus them giving $100. Also it's a cost

of living payment, not a winter energy payment. It says here, top six winter energy payment. Is it a cost of living or a winter energy? I thought that was a different thing. Denied that it was cost of living. No, no. It was a mixture, wasn't it? Is it winter energy?

It's an Uber Eats. It's an Uber Eats payment. I think it is a winter Uber Eats payment. Winter Uber Eats payment. Winter spicy Asian soup payment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's expensive soup. We'll tell you soon what today's bonus banger is,

a chance for you to win some cash. Also at 8 o'clock this morning, we're going to start the Grocery Grab. This is a chance for you to win cash as well. We've got our conveyor belt, and you've just got to name as many groceries as you can from our conveyor belt to win cash. It's like the Generation Game. Back in the day, Bruce Forsythe's Generation Game.

What's on the board? Miss Ford. Yes. So your chance to win at 8 o'clock. Is there going to be a teddy bear? Because there's always going to be a teddy bear. There's always going to be. Hey!

That's what you do. There should be. We can put a teddy bear on there. Next on the show. A speech specialist has given some tips on how to give a great speech at a wedding. Next, Doja Cat, Vegas. Well, any time now, winter's going to be over.

Yesterday was cold, though. Yeah, well, it's snow. Big dump of snow on the South Island. I'm still rocking my coat. I can't take it off. I'm freezing. You're wearing a T-shirt for me. Yeah, I'm hot.

I'm really hot today. I gave myself a little COVID test yesterday. Manipause? You might be manipause. I might be man it off. I'm freezing. You're wearing a t-shirt for me. Yeah, I'm hot. I'm really hot today. I gave myself a little COVID test yesterday. Manipause? You might be manipause. I might be manipause. Yeah. Well, any moment now, wedding season's going to start kicking off. I've been to some September.

I've got a wedding in October I'm going to. Oh, you're sort of a spring. You are rolling the dice, my friends. Yeah, I know. It's indoors. It's indoors. It's fine. Oh, okay.

But, of course, with weddings come speeches. I've given a lot of speeches at weddings. I've been a bridesmaid many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many times. And never was a bridesmaid. Never the bride. Never the bride. Never the bride. Not once have I been the bride.

Still waiting. Still waiting. But I've given speeches speeches and they're hard. They make a lot of people nervous. So a lot of people outsource to a professional speech writer. I thought you were going to say a lot of people just Google and that's when you're listening. You can hear dads make those jokes that they've copied and pasted from Google.

Yes. And it's the most cringe thing ever. Best jokes at a wedding. Yeah. And you're just like, no, don't do it. Well, there's a guy called Lawrence Bernstein from Tam in Oxfordshire. I mean, that's a guy I'd trust. Yeah.

Based on the name and the location alone. I bet he sounds posh too. He is a speech writer, a professional speech writer. He uses his skills from everything from weddings to TED Talks to political addresses. Because most politicians have speech writers. Yeah. They don't have their own thoughts or policies. They just, someone have speech writers. Yeah. They don't have their own thoughts or policies.

They just, someone else writes them. Yeah. He's given the tips on how to give a good speech, particularly at a wedding, but I suppose you could use this for your form two speech competition.

Yeah. My speeches aren't, buckle in everybody, my speeches aren't speeches. I won the Muratai primary well intermediate

yeah speech competition two years in a row unheard of what were your topics my first topic was on

ads and I did lots of impressions including thousands of luminous spheres I was 11

so you did 11 year old rocking a Suzanne Paul impression. Yeah, so I just did all the crazy ads you knew. And then the next year I did it on love. Of course, that's 12 years old. That's why I took my own life. I had some experience at this point. Yeah, of course you did.

I did it on love. And then I told a story, and I remember it ended with a Shakespearean quote. What a loser. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before or something like that. Never loved at all. Loved at all, yeah.

They say to start with a quote. Yeah. Oh, really? Okay. The great William Shakespeare. One sec. Okay, here's his tips on how to give a good speech.

Number one, you've got to set the tone. He says to think about what would you like your guests to, how would you like your guests to describe your speech the next morning? Oh, yeah.

Remember Fletcher's speech? It was so emotional. Yeah, it was heartfelt. Remember Vaughan's speech? Yeah. It was so sincere. Remember Hayley's speech? God, it was funny.

It was. That was the luminous spheres. So you choose. Am I going for sincere, emotional, heartfelt, funny? Then you've got to start strong the opening line, perhaps a quote from Shakespeare. Yeah, okay. If 12-year-old Hayley could give you any advice,

it would be dabble some Shakespeare through there. If it was a wedding speech, would you start with some great life advice, a quote about relationships? Yeah, yeah, the great so-and-so once said, do whatever she says. Happy wife, essentially. Yeah.

So strong start. Don't make a list, apparently. There's nothing worse in a speech that sounds like a school register that gives a mention to every friend, relation, and pet in their life. You don't need to harp on and give these lists. People don't like speeches anyway. No. Short and sweet, right?

The only person enjoying the speech is the person giving it. Try not to ramble, another big no. Like, stick to your points. Don't get sort of whimsical and go, actually, actually. Here's some ad lib. Hang on, don't ad lib. No shock factor, and this is one I didn't honour when I was my best friend's maid of honour.

I won't say what I said, but the rest of the night we were known as the piss sisters. For multiple stories. I don't think weddings are the time for the shock factor. No, no, those are like, yeah, more 21st speeches. But even then, I've seen some of those that don't go down well. Yeah. You've got to remember the audience.

You're a lot of family there. That's what they say. Ignore the temptation to mention exes, drugs, you know, like past party days. Can you send me this link? Because I've got a wedding to go to next year. And literally the conversation is happening in the lads chat at the moment. Yeah. No, you can't be like, we're welcome to the family, Susie.

But man, we loved Katie. Certainly that's not going to happen. But the best man is like, I just need to check how straight l but man we loved Katie. Certainly that's not going to happen but the best man is like I just need to check how straight laced her parents are before. Oh no no no.

No no no. See to me that's already showing too many markers of being problematic. It's a red flag. Hit me with this list. I'm going to hit it with you. Hit me with this link

and I will forward it to the group. The second to last is keep it personal. So I don't know what that means. What are you going to do? Talk about something vague?

You're talking about them, right? It's the wedding. Have you guys been watching Love Island? And the final one is use the power of a pause. Oh, that was good. Do you know what I mean? I had you. Yeah.

The power of what? Has she forgotten what she's saying her? The power of what? Has she forgotten what she's saying? Does she need a line? No, if you're not a confident speaker, a lot of people tend to go like, brrrr. And stop. Yeah, you're scared of the silence. So you need to feel it.

Sit in the silence. The power of a pause. Yeah, especially when you're interviewing someone. Yeah. It makes them talk, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. If you wait for them. Well, sometimes. Don't be afraid of the silence.

Yeah, don't be afraid of sitting in the silence. Unless it's Chris Evans, the Captain America. He just wants to go home. Buzz Lightyear. Yeah. He's over it. He's sitting too far away from his laptop. Also, I apologise to my best friend.

For bringing up the piss sisters It's quarter past six There is a change coming To Sprite We talked about Sprite last week It was a fact of the day The birth of Sprite You weren't here

It was on Thursday I was listening to it on my way to my colonoscopy Oh yeah I'm a big fan of the show What did you think of the show? I'm a big fan of the show Do you know what? We were driving along to my procedure

I was nervous And I also was about to poop my pants. And I was listening to the show and we were having a good old laugh. Aaron was literally slapping his thighs. That's a good measure of a good show. That's really great. I was proud of you. All right. I hope we can chuck some more thigh slaps the way of the public today.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's a chilly start across the country today. Auckland, the warmest, 10.9 degrees. Most places, Christchurch, zero. Wellington, four. It's one in Napier, Rotorua at the moment, and zero in Hamilton. I woke up this morning and I was like, I'm so cold. And we're the warmest.

Yeah, you're the warmest. What is it, like 10? Yeah. Barmy. 10, 11, barmy. Yeah. I had that situation where, by the way, who's pro top sheet? Me.

What do you mean pro top sheet? I don't do a top sheet. You go straight raw dog on dinner. I just didn't want to be like, I didn't want to say I had that situation where I had the top sheet and the duvet, but I'd lost the blanket between. You had a blanket between? Like running an arm out trying to search. It sort of bunches up, eh? Yeah, and you know it's there somewhere because you can feel it on your feet, but it's somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle between your knees and your toes.

Yeah, right. Just reaching around there. I pulled it over and it had slipped Yeah, right. Frosty. Just reaching around there. Do you have animal... I pulled it over and it had slipped down, but I found it. But then it was bloody time to get up, so that's always a disappointment. Oh, my God, you just get warm and you're like, well, it's warm.

Meep, meep, meep, meep. Do you have animals in the bed? Absolutely not. Oh, my God, they heat you up like none other. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so nice. Murray's been snuggling into me. What about the smell?

No, mine smells delicious. I adore dogs and cats. You should smell my cat one day. He smells real nice. Murray's been snuggling into me. What about the smell? No, mine smells delicious. You should smell my cat one day. He smells real nice. Yeah, Rolly smells so nice. My cat smells real... I guess because he doesn't go outside. No, our cats don't like... I don't want to run into our ginger cats, our pongy.

You've got a pongy... Yeah, we run a tight ship. He's got skanky cats. We don't have skanky cats. Pongy cats. But you can always smell an animal. That's what I'm saying. I don't want the smell of any animal in the bed.

No. From animal smells to the colour of bottles. What a smell. Oh my God. That was, by the way, that was a terrible segue, Hayley. I'm getting lessons. No, I love it. Learn from this.

Sprite. We talked about Sprite last week. Originally started its life as a variety of Fanta. That's right. Clear lemon lime Fanta in Germany. Yes. Well, famously the bottle, probably not as iconic as the Coca-Cola bottle.

No. Which is, you know, trademark shape. But it does have like the dimples and stuff in it. Sprite bottle's always been in the green bottle. Well, changes are coming. The US have said we're the green bottle. Well, changes are coming. The US have said we're changing the bottle. It's going to be clear.

Wait, is Sprite Zero's clear? Yes. Because that's the one if I get Sprite, I always get the Zero. Because you're a health king. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Correct. Your body's a temple. They're just going to, it's all going to be in a clear. Yeah. So why?

That's boring. It's recycling. I was going to say. It's easier to recycle. Clear bottles are going to be in a clear. Yeah. So why? That's boring. Is it recycling? No, it makes it easier to recycle. Clear bottles are easier to recycle than green plastic apparently. Is that because green plastic, you can only use it for green, other green plastic things recycled? It can only be recycled into single-use items. Oh, whereas if it's-

It can't be endlessly recycled. Right, whereas if it's clear, it can be. Correct. That's probably good from them then. Okay, yeah. No one's going to have a whinge about that then, are they? Oh, I reckon they'll still have a good whinge about it because they're still the largest plastics manufacturer in the world.

Yeah. Coca-Cola? I'd imagine they'd be up there. What do you want them to do? You know, give it to us in a paper bag or a cornstarch bottle that's going to wear through. Yeah, or just have fountains and you've got to take your own bottle into the supermarket. Oh, see, that's quite good. Take your jam jars in, fill them up.

Your empty pickle jars. Yeah. Give that a rinse, though, because the taste of pickle will hang on a jar. No, but I quite like that. You're like a tangy, you're like a tangy guy. Especially if you're getting a sweet drink. A tangy pickle lemonade. No, no, no. Tami, tangy. Yum, but I quite like that. You're like a tangy, you're like a tangy... Especially if you're getting a sweet drink. A tangy pickled lemonade. No, no, no.

Tangy, tangy, tangy lime. If I make a cocktail, I might put in a bit of pickle juice. Yeah. Yum. Talked about your dirty martinis. Yeah, pickle martini. Get them in there. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Haley.

Do you guys, have you ever thought about when you die, if you want to do something special?, if you want to do something special? Like if you want to do something kind of crazy. I'll be dead, won't I? Yeah. I initially, when I thought I might want to be buried, thought I might like some extravagant headstone, but it's a real, like, look at me.

Yeah. Don't forget about me. It's a real middle. It's a middle child move. Yeah, big middle child. Big middle child. I want to put one of those bells they used to put, you know, when they weren't sure if you were dead,

so they'd put a bell down a hole. Yeah. If you woke up, you'd ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding, like, hey, guys, I'm alive in here. Did they not know about pulses back then? No. Well, they didn't have good learning of fingers. They'd be like, it's gone.

I feel one. No, it's out. Like on a movie when they're like, a policeman walks fingers. At least reliable to be like that and be like, it's gone. I feel one. Nah, it's out. Like on a movie when they're like, a policeman walks up to a body and they're like, two seconds, and they're like, dad. You're like, don't you have to hold it for 10 seconds? And you've got to find the right spot. You've got to really dig it. You've got to have a good fiddle around in there. Dig the fingers in.

Push quite hard. No, I mean more like something you'd leave in your will. Like, at my funeral funeral I want this played. Oh. Like something crazy or like I want this kind of tombstone because a grandmother in Mexico, her name is Catarina Orjuna Perez. She died and very sad, of course, for her family and they were going through her will and then found that she had a request for her gravestone.

She wanted a giant willy statue on her grave. And when I say giant, they've honoured this. And it's C and B included. Okay. Because it's quite like detailed. It's not like a subtle. Nope. Is it some kind of stone?

You're going to show us a photo. It's like the size of a man. It's a throbber. It's a throbber. Quite short. It's a 600 pound, so like 300 and something kgs, massive stone member. And it has been called a recognition of her love and joy for life. Now this came about because...

Why can't I Google to see different angles of this? Because that angle you just showed me was underneath. And you know how that's a deceiving angle. It always looks bigger underneath. It doesn't have an angle. Well, there's the other side of the shard. Oh my goodness. It's alive. It's circumcised if anybody's wondering.iving angle. It always looks bigger underneath. It doesn't have an angle. Well, there's the other side of the show. Oh, my goodness. It's alive.

It's circumcised, if anybody's wondering. Do you know what it looks like? It looks like when it's 2 o'clock in the morning, you're getting a kebab on K-Rod. Put your penis away, please. No, it looks like those big meat sticks sitting in kebab. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the doner meat.

It looks like a dunk slice off. Yeah. I thought you were getting your dick out of... At a kebab shop. At a kebab shop again. No. Put that away. Well, this is... It's 600 pounds.

I can't even believe the local cemetery let them happen. Russia? In Mexico. Mexico. I love this. I love this. There's energy there. So apparently she had a nickname that was called,

I mean, sorry to our Mexican listeners, was called Verger, which is a Mexican slang word most accurately translated to C. Oh, wow. O. Oh, okay. Ah, right. The C from the C and B.

Yeah, right. Okay. So that was her nickname was that naughty little word. And she thought it would just be funny. That's something. I mean, it is. That's so good. She wanted to buck the, she said, break the paradigm of everything Mexican

where things are sometimes hidden because of not having an open mind. I love that. So the way that she wanted to do this in life and death was to have a giant 600 pound. I just found the New York Post article has pictures of its construction. Here they are putting it on a forklift to take it to. Oh, there's it in the mould.

That guy, even if he's short, let's say he's 5'6". That's massive. Also, don't let someone take a photo of you loading that onto a forklift. No. He's gripping it hard. He's gripping it with both. He's, like, hugging it to try to, like, get it up onto the forklift forks. How has that not become a meme?

It's going to be, I'm imagining. Absolutely. Good on you. I got my head out this sunroof. I'm blasting my my favorite tombstone. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Play ZM. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hi there. Today's top six, the top six things the cost of living payment will be spent on. Might be popping up in your bank account today. Yeah, the first of three. Little kickback there. The G-O-V-T. That's how they should do the press conferences. Yeah, what up?

It's the G-O-V-T. They should walk out to 50 Cent P-I-M-P. Yeah. I don't know what you heard about me. But I'm the M-F in G-O-V-T. I'm the mother F in G-O-V-T. Yeah, that works The kids will be on board with a 20 year old song

Well, 2.1 million Kiwis The payment will be in the account the next couple of days So the government I didn't even know there were that many left Kiwis Yeah They're little birds They're little birds, how are they going to get bank accounts?

Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, you bloody ass. Hey, you bloody larrikin over here. Top six things the cost of living payment will be spent on. Number six, one more week of a Neon subscription so people can watch the Love Island finale. Oh, don't, don't.

Is that this week? I'm behind. Are you up to date? No, I'm a little bit behind. Well, how many eps do you have? I don't know. Because you are not, in your line of work, going to be able to avoid this. You've got a busy-ass week.

But I joined late. I joined late, and I've got such a busy week. You've got a busy week. You've got a couple of flights. Okay. We've got Bangers Bingo and Christchurch. There's some downtime. I could just watch that while you guys run that, if that's all right.

Yeah, you could have a love island. I was meaning on... Sit in the corner of the Christchurch pub and... Yeah, catch that's all right. Yeah, you could have a love island corner. I was meaning on... Sit in the corner of the Christchurch pub and... Yeah, catch up. Watch that. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. You do that.

That means the world to me. But everybody else is just chomping for it. Number five on the list of the top six things the cost of living payment will be spent on. An array of cold and flu medication because it's already cold. Yeah. Yeah. I am absolutely humming these lozenges.

More like lollies at this stage. Oh my God. I can't believe you do those lozenges. You're yuck. Have a strep so like a normal person.

This is a vapour drop. Butter menthol. No. Butter. Yuck. I know. Butter. When you've got a sore throat.

Are you 80? Butter menthol. You're 80. It's like a word. How embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. It's real good. I won't be ashamed for my choice.

I have secondhand embarrassment for you. Do you know, despite orange strepsils, they do nothing. No, but orange, yuck. What is wrong with you? What hot strips? No, Sade bought the orange strepsils. If I get strepsils, I get the ones that, like, literally make you numb. Those green, tealy, green ones.

That you suck on your... Of course. Producer Anna's a butter menthol lozenge as well. You... Not surprising. You are so embarrassing. Not surprising. Now, see, I was team lemon and honey,

but then I got gifted some when I got COVID, some butter menthols, and I will not be going back. Butter. I got a pack of Manuka lozenge. Manuka honey lozenges. Those are legit. Those Convita ones?

Yes. Those are the best lozenge on the market. That's what I had when I had COVID. Yeah. Single income, no kid over here. He's dropping dollar bills. And he's expensive. He's dropping dollar bills on Convita.

I don't need to pay for bloody daycare or whatever it is you pay for. You don't need to pay for anybody else's anything. Nappies. When I eventually get COVID hashtag last man standing I know that you're going to put together a little care package for me and I really appreciate it. No butter menthol please.

It'll be nothing but butter menthol. Care package right back at you. We are so deep into this pandemic you are really overestimating how much we care now. Care package please. Everybody's had it. The care package is like when one of your friends is sick. Do you think anyone's doing that go around and drop things off to their friends anymore?

No one's whipping up a casserole. I've been making lasagnas for my sick friends. I'm making empty offers of, hey, if you need anything, let me know. With that sort of enthusiasm. Yeah. A lot of those are early in the pandemic. Yeah. All right, number four on the list of the top six. A lot of those are early in the pandemic. Yeah. All right, number four on the list of the top six things the cost of living payment could be spent on

are maybe some new shoes for your kids that they'll either outgrow in two weeks or just lose at school, he says, as someone who has had both of those situations happen to him and one week back in this goddamn term three. But you can't buy cheap shoes or you mess up their feet for life. Yeah.

Really? Why did you take your shoes off? That's, I'm like, there's no part of your school day that's warm enough to be shoeless. August walked out without shoes on. She said it was the socks that were the problem.

Yeah, I walked home and lost a shoe. God, I was in trouble. We had to go for a hunt. Never found it. How did you lose a shoe in a walk home? I don't know.

I just had them in my bag and it must have just fallen out. Indy's in this bloody growth phase. She got new shoes mid last term. They're already too small. Well, buy them bigger. That's what I said. Shove some tissues in the air.

That's what I said. Make her look like a clown. Yeah. For a while. Get her used to her big feet before she has them. If I can just interrupt, Vaughn, we've won a gold medal at cycling, swimming at the Commonwealth Games. Cycling and swimming. Is that where you drive a bike in a pool?

100 metre 10 speed. Yeah. Wow. In cycling, swimming. Just getting the news. So two gold medals. Fantastic. Two more gold medals.

We're nailing it. We're right up there. Thank you. I mean, I don't know why I'm saying thank you. Thank you for letting me know. In hindsight, that could have just been a newsflash to an article about the day's events at the Commonwealth Games. I don't know if I'm saying that. Thank you for letting me know. In hindsight, that could have just been a newsflash to an article about the day's events at the Commonwealth Games. I don't know if we've won more.

Look, I'm hardly caring about these games. Wait, so you just did some pause a segment to do breaking news. You stopped in the middle of, dare I say, the people's favourite 6am segment. Old Reliable. Old Reliable in the 6am. And you interrupted it with some half-arsed non-detailed metal news

about the Commonwealth Games that I'll say really didn't have the lead in the usual Commonwealth Games that's slack that's slack journalism number three on the list of the top six things

that cost a living payment could be spent on one of those cheap-ass fan heaters that'll either burn your house down or start smoking one day and in one day of usage

cost you more in power than they did to buy. Yeah. You don't whip down to the supermarket with that thing running, do you? Oh, no, no. No, no, no. Remember when they used to trip up, and you'd have like five seconds to get it up

before it was blowing fire into your carpet? Yeah, because you had to go... You're like, oh, no. Hey, here we go. Number two on the list of the top six things the cost of living payment will be spent on, a slightly posher ice cream. You know, you get like a two-litre tub.

And I'll go on record as saying I prefer the much more ice cream. Oh, yeah, it's good. You know, much more. The goody-goody gum? Yeah. Their goody-goody gum drops is insane. It's really good. I haven't tried it.

And they do that, yeah, because you're from a different... We're working. We're private. We're a working-class vibe. You've always probably been eating out of those little tubs. $13 for a little Ben and Jerry's. Yeah, I bet.

Carpet-y, bloody those posh tip-top flavours in the little tubs. So much more expensive. Do you need a banoffee ice cream? Yeah.

Just get some cheap banana one and drop some caramel sauce on it. Number... You can tell this guy isn't happy when there are those little ice creams come time. He wants a big ice cream.

And number one on the list of the top six things the cost of living payment will be spent on, fruit and veggies that'll sit in your fridge watching you order takeaways until they're limp and you just disregard them. Yeah. You silly. Sweetie bag of spinach.

Oh, yeah. And a limp broccoli that's like, hey, why didn't you eat me when I was crisp? That's today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Can, can you guess the can, can? I don't think you can, can.

Guess what's in this can, can, can, can. An idea that came to Vaughan in the pantry with a label missing on the can. And you've asked producer Anna to bring in a can. This is from your pantry, I believe. Yep, sure is. So you've taken the label off. Let's have another listen. Liquid.

Is that 250 mil? Yeah, she's smaller. What's it usually, like a 420? It's a lot of room, though. Normally they fill them right up, though, don't they? This is pretty full, though. You really have to shake it to get that sound going. Okay, all right.

Well, let's welcome Hannah to, what are we calling this? Can You Guess the Can? Can. Can You Guess the Can Can. Hannah, what do you think it is? Let's go coconut cream. Do you know what? This just came to me over the can. Can. Can you guess the can can? Hannah, what do you think it is? Let's go coconut cream. Do you know, this just came to me over the break. I thought coconut cream.

Hmm. That's a great guess. No, it's not. Producer Anna in the studio. Rhys, good morning. Welcome to Can You Guess the Can? What do you think? Morning, guys. I was going to say the same.

I'm going to go coconut milk. Coconut milk? Coconut milk. Oh, I think we would have given it to her for coconut cream. Sorry, Rhys. No. It's not coconut milk. It's not.

Sorry, Rhys. It's a sloppy, sloppy sound, though, doesn't it? Shannon, it's sloppy. Good morning. What do you think it is? Hey, I was thinking it could be maybe pineapple. Whoa. No.

No, you're a madman. You're a madman. It's not. Pineapple cans are always fatter and shorter. Yeah, it's not a short stout can, Shannon. Oh, okay. Okay. No.

There's another no there. Thank you, Shannon. Shannon just lopped off the knees there. Kyle, Kyle, good morning. Good morning. I was going to say coconut cream soup, so I'm thinking maybe we'll go with concentrated soup or something. Oh, a soup.

Concentrated soup. Soup cans are always bigger. Too small to be a soup, Anna. Soup is correct. Oh! What kind of soup is that? It is a Watties soup for one, creamy tomatoes. A soup for one?

That's really embarrassing you had that in your pantry. I mean, I would expect it in Fletcher's pantry. No, that's too much. That's too little. Soup for one, man. You do love a lot of soup. Is it a concentrate? No, it's a soup and you get your toasties and your little soldiers and she's away.

Oh, no. Kyle, would you get down on a soup like this? Maybe as an entree soup and then you move on a soup like this? Maybe as an entree soup. As an entree. Maybe as an entree. Certainly not a main. Yeah. Kyle, congratulations.

$116.33 for you is our cash prize today. Enjoy that, Kyle. Well done. Get yourself some tins of soup. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So in Canada, where I just kind of thought they were all nice and just peaceful and pleasant people, something outrageous has happened.

There was a guy, there was a very affluent area. The mansions there sell for around 14 million Canadian dollars. Oh, wow. Okay. Very affluent. Very affluent. It's right by a river in Canada. And at the base of it, like right near the water, is a marina. Yeah. And there was a guy who was working there and he got fired.

So he thought, yeah, I'll show you. That was an Australian accent. Oh, the horse. Oh, I'll shorten. No, I can't do a Canadian. Anyway, so he got his hands on a digger, a red digger. He drove it down to the marina, and he just smashed the building to pieces.

So here's a picture of the building. Oh, my God. There's a video of him. That's like a two-story massive house. Massive house. And he basically just drives up to it and just starts swinging the building. Oh my God. There's a video of him. That's like a two-story massive house. Massive house. And he basically just drives up to it and just starts

swinging the head, knocking down walls, breaking glass windows, absolutely tearing down this entire building. It's so dangerous if there's like gas or electricity

still running through it. Like the wires could have hit the bucket. It could have electrocuted him. Well, you normally, when they demolish your house, you've got to cut all the services to it.

Maybe he did. Maybe he did. Maybe he did. I don't think he was of clear mind. No. I mean, you can maybe see why he was fired with this kind of rash, aggressive behaviour. He's not making the employer say, oh, I've made a terrible mistake. He was actually a decent guy.

Anyway, he was arrested, obviously, because people were filming it. So many people were around. He's been arrested and charged for mischief. Mischief? Mischief. How Canadian. That is so Canadian. Destroy something, put everybody's lives at risk.

You mischievous little rascal. We'll see you in court. So he was arrested and charged with mischief. He's had to pay $6,000 New Zealand dollars so far, and he's got a court date for an actual punishment for mischief. Did he have a reason, like apart from being... It was just payback. He got fired.

Oh, my God. And I'm sure that he felt like he got fired unfairly. Okay, well, there's a disputes tribunal for that. I'm sure there is. Or you could just go about it like a man. And get a digger and drive it through some houses. Drive it through. There's no word on whether or not any of the luxury $14 million houses nearby got any damage.

It looks like it was just the marina. But yeah, he's waiting to get charged. Just the boss's office, basically, by the looks of it. I mean, this is insane. That's insane behaviour. It is insane behaviour. What a way to get payback. And that's what we want to hear from you this

morning. When did you get payback? What for? What did you do? I mean, I feel like there's got to be a reason that you've given some payback. Like, this guy's just an a-hole, right? I mean, unless the boss was, you know, cheating on him with his wife or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. We don't have those details. So you're saying he was his boss, but also his lover. He was cheating on him with his wife. Yeah, he was, yeah. His wife with him. Oh, yeah, this guy was sleeping with the boss. That explains it, because, you know, love makes you do crazy things. It does.

But maybe your work did take you for a ride and then your last day you get some payback. Like, I don't know. Is that what you mean? Maybe you did a poo in the photocopier and then shut the lid again. Who knows? Again? Maybe you did. Yeah.

I mean, I've heard don't sit on a photocopier to do a funny photoc of the glass. To do a funny photocopier of your butt because that glass is not weight rated. Yeah. I'm not calling you fat. I'm just saying any weight on it, it's made for paper. Yeah. Not for arses. And it's safe to say I weigh a little bit more than paper. Oh, don't say that about yourself.

No, no, no. So you want stories of payback. Of payback. Just any, what, like jilted lovers? Yes. Like you would cheat it on? Someone did you wrong. Someone did the dirty.

How did you pay them back? Maybe it won't be as extreme as driving a digger into a building, but it could be, yeah, you heard the one that you freeze a fish and then you grate it through their car and then they can never get it out. Because it's tiny grated fish. Because it's little particles of rotting fish. Do you use the little parmesan grated side? Do you use a micro planer or whatever it is? Okay, right, not the big grated fish. Because it's little particles of rotting fish. Do you use the little parmesan grated side? You use a micro planer

or whatever it is. Okay, right. Not the big grated bit for cheese. Oh, you could use the big one but they'd be able to probably vacuum that out. You wouldn't be there

all day grating a fish if you're using the tiny garlic grater. That's payback. Use the big one. You shouldn't have cheated on me. I've got a day to spare.

0800 dials at M. We want to take your calls now. When have you had some payback? Tell us your payback tale. Talking about when you got sweet, sweet payback. There was a worker in Canada who got fired from his job, so he drove a digger through the building where he used to work. I mean, I don't know if that's payback.

He might go to jail. I don't think anyone deserves a digger through their house. They have insurance. It was a very affluent area. Yeah. You'd think they'd have insurance. But we want to hear... Do their house. They have insurance. It was a very affluent area. Yeah. You'd think they'd have insurance. But we want to hear you. Do excuse me.

I'm crying. We want to hear your payback stories. Anonymous, what happened? Hi there. So my ex and I were together for quite a few years and we decided to get a puppy together. So at around nine months old, I found out that he was cheating

on me. Oh, you didn't kill the dog? Did you murder the dog? No, God no. Is that why you're remaining anonymous? No, I got the dog's balls cut off on his birthday a month later. What? Okay, so... Why would the

dog's balls suffer for the man's balls crime? Well, they needed to come off anyway because he's a bully breed, but I thought it was quite funny to do it on his birthday a month after we'd split just as like a last little excuse. Did you keep the dog in separation proceedings or was it a split custody arrangement? Well, I wanted to send him the bulls,

but I thought that would be a bit gross. That'd be quite good. Also, does the vet just give you those back like in a little plastic pottle? No one would ask for them, but maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe if the vet's listening, they could text in. Yes. Just purely to... Where do you put the

balls? And can you request them? Can you request the balls? And if not, where do you put them? It would have to be in like a formaldehyde. Yeah. Thank you, Anonymous. Some more messages in. I simply won't read this one out.

This is for an off-air. I wouldn't even read it at the start of the podcast. Would you not even include this in the podcast at all? I would not. At all. Is it grotty? It is so grotty. I'm going on the text machine. I'll read it to you after we finish.

Okay. It's the one that ends in 629. Don't say the number out. No, not the whole number. Shame on you, 629. Somebody said, my mum really annoyed me when I was a teenager, so I stole her favourite spoon. It's the only spoon she uses.

She's going to know that's you. She's very particular about her spoons. The best evil but a minor payback ever. Did she ever get the spoon? Was that really grotty, was it? I've read 629. Okay, yes. 629.

For shame. For shame. 629. Can I come over and read 629? Yes, you read 629. I'll keep reading out the rest of the answers to the class, shall I? I'm going to wait. Hang on, hang on. He's going to interrupt the next. Yeah? I'm going to wait. Hang on, hang on.

He's going to interrupt the next. Yeah, he's going to. Oh, it's just gone. It's just gone. See how hard it is to keep up with the text machine? It's so grotty. Isn't it grotty? So grotty.

169. 169 grotty. Grotty cotties. Grotty grotty. A girlfriend had a spare key to the boyfriend's house who cheated on her. She found out it was away for three weeks. She lit herself and wooded his carpet and grass seeded in every room. I've always heard about that, especially in summer,

because then it starts sprouting through your felt eggs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I tell you what, it's the perfect little growth spot, isn't it? It'll hold on to the moisture. It'll be nice and warm. That's fantastic. There might not be too much nutrients, so you might need to do a weeding feed over the top there,

a little bit of blood and bone. I was a chef and my boss was a dickhead, so when I left, I took all the labels off all the tins in the dry store. It's like our game. It's like our game. Yeah, it was just this wall of blank silver tins. That's funny. That's good. Make sure you're listening next week for the return of

Can You Guess The Can Can? Can You Guess The Can Can? A vet nurse messaged in saying some people do but ask for the testicles of their dogs but mostly they just get destroyed. But what do they do with them? If they're not sending them to an ex?

Burn them? Like in some kind of ritual? No, no, no. They'd probably just get rid of it. Okay, right. That's weird. Thank you, Vet. Someone 629's messaged again.

Guys, admittedly, it was grotty, but warranted. Leave me alone. Oh, yeah, right. No, you're warranted. Yeah, it's just grotty. Grotty 629. I got annoyed with my dad, so I got his phone and auto-corrected the word help to diddles, and he kept asking me for diddles,

and then diddles, and then it was just all diddles every time he tried to write help. We're all just children. Next on the show, how you can win $1,000 cash. And also, how many friends you should have. That sounded a bit meaner than I meant it to. Do that again, but like. Listen up, you loners.

How many friends you should really have. I'm trying to more. We're hurting. Do it. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play. ZM. You really have. Jack Harlow on ZM. First class.

Played last night in Auckland and was spotted at Sylvia Park. Which is not our best mall. I mean, I love them all. But, like, was he paid to be there? Because does he know about Kelly Tarleton's? Yeah. I think he might have been doing a culture king's appearance. Yeah, right. Okay.

I was going to say. No, look, I love a Sylvia Park. Yeah, but there's penguins at Kelly Tarleton's. Go there. I don't think you can get from Kelly Tarleton's what you can get from Sylvia Park. They're not interchangeable places to visit. Certainly can't get a butter chicken.

He's been given an All Blacks jersey. What's he blocked out there? Who's this new sponsor? There'll be a logo there, won't there, that he's blocked out. Oh, who provides their kit? He might have a deal with an opposing clothing brand. Oh, yeah. We're Adidas, aren't we?

The All Blacks are Adidas. He might have a rebocked out. Hey, we've got a chance. He don't want $1,000, and we got to do something pretty cool last week. So cool. Like we drove trucks. Like not a ute, like a truck. A concrete truck, a class four concrete truck, a class five.

A wheeler. Big truck trailer unit. The big, what class was the big one? Class five. That was automatic. The Volvo. Yeah. Don't give away that it was automatic. It makes it look like. Well Class 5. That was automatic. The Volvo. Yeah. Don't give away that it was automatic.

It makes it look like... Well, the concrete truck was manual. There was still a lot to it, though. Oh, yeah. It was so much fun. So we've got a chance for you to win. At ZM Online, we've got $1,000 up for grabs. It's amazing.

I mean, I love driving. I think I'm the best driver in not only Auckland, but the whole entire country. The world. Vaughan, you really found your home up with Windstone, Aggregates and Firth. We had so much fun. They need more truckies to join their team.

So if you want this to be like your career, your job, they can train you on the job. Regardless of anything, gals, boys, anything. They love it They've got paid on-the-job training Some great perks too You can visit drivers.fbu.com to find out more But if you go to see them online

If you want to win the $1,000 Watch our tracky trial Watch us Drive these massive tracks Someone ran over some cones Someone It was you There's a question

Answer the question to be in to win the $1,000 All thanks to Firth and Winston Aggregates someone. It was you. There's a question. Yeah, I think someone. There's a question. Answer the question to be in to win the $1,000, all thanks to Firth and Winston Aggregates. You can text now truck to 9696, and we'll find you back that link, so it's nice and easy. God, it was so much fun. I just want to go back to the truck life.

Yeah. You know, I see those trucks drive past downtown, and I'm always like, hey, I drove that, I drove that. You were rocking, because they gave us some cool clothes afterwards and they let us keep the hoodies and T-shirts and stuff. You were wearing your Firth hoodie. Yeah, at the supermarket and someone said to me, what do you do for Firth?

Did you lie? Did you lean into the role play? No, I was like, pardon? And they pointed at my hoodie and what do you do for Firth? I was like, oh, no, no, I've just got the hoodie. And they said, oh, okay, I work for them. I just wanted to know what you did for them. I wish I had one. You should have said, yeah. I would have been like, yeah, I've just got the hoodie and they said, oh, okay, I work for them. I just wanted to know what you did for them. I wish I had one. You should have said, yeah.

I would have been like, yeah, class five mainly, but a little bit of class four every now and then. If they need a bit of backup. At 7.30. I've got a hot study for you that looks at how many good friends you have as an adult. Obviously, as a kid, you're like, I've got 30. But as you grow up, people get an aim. Everyone's a remix of someone you already know. When you get to

about 25, you just start meeting people that are slightly better or worse versions of people you already know. Like I like you because you're like Sarah. Yeah, but you're better than Sarah. You've got to be better than Sarah otherwise it's Sarah and there's no room for you. Yeah. Well it turns out it's quality over quantity, right?

Absolutely. My mum always used to say to me, you can count your good friends on one hand. But this survey is saying the average adult has 10 good friends. So a good friend, I've got some descriptors of what constitutes a good friend. Good listener, listen to each other's problems, you make each other laugh, you talk regularly,

you tell each other the truth, you keep each other's problems. You make each other laugh. You talk regularly. You tell each other the truth. You keep each other's secrets. You share things, clothes, films, passwords, that kind of stuff. They're the one that you go to if you break up. They motivate you. They send silly and embarrassing pictures on your birthday. They pet sit for you. Like things that like I've got lots of mates. But when things happen, they're not the people that I would like text

or tell or update. Yeah. But then you've got your close friends where you're like, they need to know the news. Yeah. They need to know about that rash you got from Bali. And that's why I consider you a good friend. You know. But a good, good friend would rub the ointment on. You didn't do that

fight. You provided me the ointment. She didn't reach the affected area. She doesn't need it rubbed on. You said you needed it rubment on. You didn't do that. You provided me the ointment. I provided you the other. She didn't reach the affected area. She doesn't need it rubbed on. You said you needed it rubbed on. I know. I couldn't reach the back of the thigh. What? I couldn't reach the back of the thigh.

I just wanted to be touched. You know I like to be touched. I was going to say, it's the back's the only, the middle of the back's the only part. The middle bit under the shot. Yeah, Goodfriend's the one that'll sunscreen you.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's not weird. Would you say you're rocking around the 10 of, Goodfriend's the one that'll sunscreen you. Yeah, absolutely. And it's not weird. Would you say you're rocking around the 10 of the Goodfriend number? I'm a little higher. Probably. Oh, a little higher.

But I'm a social queen. You are a social queen, yeah. 10, but I could definitely make some cuts. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Challenge me. Challenge me to get to six. I'll do it.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and to six. I'll do it. I reckon you would have heard of the podcast, Girls That Invest. It is huge everywhere, not just in New Zealand. Sim and Sonia, two millennial investors, trying to teach everyone that investing is not just for rich white men. And now it's not just a book. It's not just a podcast.

Sim Corp is in the studio to talk about your book. Welcome. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Very happy to have you. Now it's out today. Out today, your book. But before we talk about the book, because it's kind of been a journey, I guess, you don't just sort of like write a book willy nilly. Let's start about why you started this podcast in the first place. It's a good question.

So when I was younger, I started, you know, I was interested in investing and money and, you know, you kind of think what's next. Everyone tells you you get a good job, start putting money in the bank account. Kiwi saver. Kiwi saver. You're like, I'm sorted.

But then you're like, am I really sorted? Like surely there's more to this. And when I was learning and growing up, it just felt very for one group of people. And I was in these like forms and groups and communities and they were just like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. And I just, I didn't really relate to it. I was like, well, you know, maybe something else, you know,

maybe ethical investing could be a thing. And so I thought, well, I'm surely, surely I'm not the only person in the world that feels this way. Maybe there's other people like me that invest a little bit differently or they're just interested in learning from a different perspective. So my best friend and I started a podcast, very much a lockdown hobby. You know, I think everyone was kind of stuck at home. So we thought, why not?

And I guess it just related to a lot more people than we expected it to. Yeah, it's crazy. Like, anytime you go on the top podcast list, you're always up there. I'm glad you said ethical investing because I did want to talk to you about my investments. Yeah, because Hayley's big on Israeli weapons defense. And palm oil farms.

Oh, that's quite hot right now. No, I'm not. That's not what I'm investing in. Look, I've never invested in my life, but I did recently get a Sharesies. Oh, there you go. This is the thing now, because there are people like Hayley

and just everyday people who, you know, years ago wouldn't have invested, would they? And now Sharesies is literally, and many apps like it and companies, you can download and be a member within a day, and you're investing. And I thought investing was just for rich people. Exactly.

So that's kind of the thought even I had when I was younger, and that stopped me, and it stops most people. You think you've got to have a lot of money, you need like 10 grand, you need to already be wealthy. And the thing that changed my life was when someone said, no, you invest to become better off. You don't invest once you have all of that. And it's amazing that we've got these micro-investing platforms

in the last couple of years because now you can put in a dollar and your debt can be reduced. How do rich people feel about this? Because it feels like you're letting everybody in on the rich people's secrets. I think it's a great thing that it's becoming more accessible. And I'm not sure how they feel. I don't know if they're happy or sad but I think at the end of the day we're lowering the

barrier and I think every single person now has more opportunities than we had in the past and I think that's awesome. I don't think rich people need be worried. I've invested $100 and my portfolio is worth $97. So it's not going that well and you've been looking at your KiwiSaver recently. Oh, yeah.

So is that something to freak out about? The fact that everybody's KiwiSaver seems to have taken a big hit? No, it's so interesting. When the stock market drops, you know, naturally you go, oh, that's a little bit scary. You see your dollars go down. $100 turns into $97. You're like, that's not meant to happen.

But realistically, in the long term, it goes up and down. And so it's like the property cycle, you know, property goes up, property goes down, but you don't hear about the everyday movements, whereas the share market, you get that information every minute. So it feels a lot more scarier because you're seeing that day to day change. But can we say that's for when, you know, we buy a home or when we're 65, we've got ages for that to ride up and down. And for most everyday people, it's nothing to worry about. Tell us about the book.

So, I mean, there's so many episodes of the podcast. Is the Girls That Invest book like a condensed version of all of that? Yeah, so the book is basically a really great beginner's guide. If you've listened to the podcast, it's a great sort of reference book. But if you've never invested, if you're like, look, I want to get started, I don't know how, or I've got friends or family that I think would benefit from learning about this. It's a really great like beginner's guide, really easily digestible. And there's just no assumptions in the book, which I love, but there's no like, oh, you should know what a stock is or like,

that should be a word you're already aware of. Because I don't know. It's just those things that run along the side of a building and I'm like those are numbers. I always like those. And there's arrows. Red arrows. And this is amazing for you. Like it's sold UK, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Europe and more. Already

a bestseller in Canada. Second most bought book in all categories in all countries on BookDepository.com. Yeah. Second most bought book in all categories in all countries on bookdepository.com. Yeah. And now we can buy it as of today. Absolutely so exciting.

Congratulations on everything. Thank you so much. It's been crazy. You invested in yourself. Yes, you could say. And it has paid dividends. Do you get people now just in your DMs

or on the street to say like, what should I invest in? Okay, sure. Hang on. I've got $50 to invest in my Sharesies wallet right now. Right now. Go. I'm doing the ethical funds.

Yeah, me too, but so I do ethical and it's at the moment my total return is minus 2%. Fletch Day traded on the demise of various big businesses at the start of COVID. That's how you do it. $150 and then punched out.

Wow. What a piece of shit, I know. Hey! What a monster. So in the book, we really talk about this idea of long-term investing and the idea behind it, if you had $50 to invest or $100 to invest without, you know, giving personal advice, without knowing your needs, you know, the everyday person might be

best suited for what we call a fund and a fund is filled with companies rather than individual shares. So if one goes up, another one might go down and you're balanced out a lot more. So with COVID, you know, airline stocks kind of plummeted. They're still plummeting. Sorry, in New Zealand. Sorry, guys. Sorry. But other things did really well, like Zoom took off and, you know, Microsoft took off. So if you invested in a fund, yes, some things dropped, but other things went up.

And it's just about having a balance. Because I invested in Peloton and then big sex in the city killed that guy and it plummeted. Yeah, Peloton is not looking good right now. No, no, no, no, no, no. But you're right, all of my ones that are like funds seem to be doing okay. Yeah, funds are

a good place to start for the everyday person and then you don't have to spend so much time worrying, you know, is the show going to put up something that kills off the character and then she has plummeted. So there are different kinds of funds but how do you choose a good fund? I like to look at funds that are probably the most popular.

And it's like when you go anywhere and you look for a bestseller. You know, if you go to Sephora and you look at makeup, you look for the best mascara because... Or if you're looking for a book, you look for a bestseller. Or you look for a bestselling book. And there's a reason why they're bestsellers and the reason why people around the world are buying them. And so the top fund in know, fund in the world

is called the S&P 500. And it sounds really jargony. Look at Vaughan. Vaughan just grabbed the shares again to see if he can get into that. And that fund is the top 500 companies in the US. So we're talking, you know, Apple, Amazon, Google, Tesla, everything's in there, Peloton included.

But when some go up, some go down and you just, you know, you're diversifying and you're not really too worried anymore. Well, we can learn so much from you, Sim. Thank you so much for sharing just a little bit. Listen to the podcast anywhere you get your podcasts and buy the book. It's already proven itself.

Girls That Invest. Simcoe, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Today's silly little poll got people riled up, didn't it? Will Smith came out over the weekend with an apology video to Chris Rock and said he's trying to reach out to him. Chris Rock hasn't responded or got back to him. And I think Chris Rock addressed this apology on stage. Yeah, said he just went to work the next day. Yeah.

And then made some kind of digs about it's like being hit across the face. Late apologies. Yeah, better late than never. Or nah, you have to do it ASAP. Because four months later? Four months later. Yeah. Nearly five.

This screams to me like somebody's got some movie projects about to happen. Well, he lost, it cost him movie projects, didn't it? And a lot of people said

when he won the Oscar later that night, that was the time to do it. Yeah. Is to say like, oh my God. Because you have a press conference afterwards, don't you? You have a press conference afterwards,

but you also have the opportunity to give a speech. And everyone was like, that was the time to do it. It's too late now. And he was like, he was so foggy in that moment. Or the next day even, or week. He said he's needed the months to think about it. So 45% of people said, yeah, better late than never. But 55% said, no, you have to apologize sooner.

You have to do it ASAP. Yeah. Like, to me, if I was Chris Rock, I'd be like, no, you're doing this because you want work. You don't mean it. People were wild in their responses to this, too. Yeah. Erina wrote, feels like he's just done it for the publicity

to make himself feel better. If you need to apologize, do it privately. Or if it's a genuine apology, the whole world doesn himself feel better. If you need to apologise, do it privately. If it's a genuine apology, the whole world doesn't need to know. Talk about dragging it out. Yeah. If you have to be convinced over time to apologise, don't bother, says Bailey. That's so true.

My high school bully, this is from Georgia, my high school bully ex-best friend apologised to me 10 years later a mutual friend's wedding, and it actually was quite nice. Wow. But I think because you were friends, then bullies, you're back to being friends, so maybe there's a little bit of a full circle situation there. I still would have let the air out of their tires. Yeah, same. At the wedding.

Yeah, same. Yeah, let's see you get home in a flatty. I might spit in their burger. You know what I mean? What, you spit in their little burgers? I might spit in their burger. Spit in their little burgers. I might spit in their burger. What if they're like, oh, what, you're spitting on the little burgers? You might spit on their little burgers. Little burgers.

Spitting their burger. What if they're like, oh, no, I'm not going to have that, and then somebody else eats it? Oh, little burgers at weddings are always so yum, eh?

Little burger. Little burgers. Yeah, little burgers rule. They're little. Pam said, I had someone apologise years later, and it felt good to know that they'd finally

recognised what they had done. I mean, I think there's times, like, say when a government apologises for, like, wrongdoings a hundred years ago, that's, like, acceptable, right? Soz about that genocide. Soz about that, yeah, exactly.

Whereas, like, if you cheat on someone's, you know, on your best friend with their husband or boyfriend, you don't apologise 20 years later. No, it's more immediate. That's more immediate. Yeah. Not over a little burger. They wouldn't want to hear it immediately, would they?

Maybe not, no. Maddie said it's less about the timing and more about sincerity, and I feel like they lacked both. Fair call. Totally agree. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Grocery Grab.

It's the first of our Grocery Grab. It's all thanks to the warehouse. Eight savings for breakfast. And what we've got in studio is a virtual convey about. We're joined by Sarah. Good morning, Sarah. Morning. Now, we're going to read out 20 grocery items that you can purchase at the warehouse.

They're going to go past on the convey about. Now, you've got to use your mega memory to then recall as many items as you can remember in the time limit. Okay. Are we doing 20 seconds? The time limit will be 20 seconds once we've read them all out. Now, for every item you can read back to us in 20 seconds, you'll score yourself a $20 The Warehouse gift card. So a chance for you to win. It's going to gift card. It's going to add up. It's going to add up. It'll chance you to win quite a bit.

So are you ready, Sarah? Yes, I'm ready. Now, what's your memory like? Because I'd be terrible at this game. Yeah, it's all right. We'll see how it goes. Okay, does it sound good? Visualise it happening.

Yes. Visualise it happening. Make an image. Smells. A story. Why you Visualise it happening. Make an image. Smells. A story. Why are you buying these things? I always remember the way to remember things is like attach a story or a memory to something. Yeah.

Yes, but the conveyor belt's not that slow. You can't go, oh, there's a water bottle. You don't have three weeks to study for this exam. This is literally blowing up. This is happening right now. All right. Baked beans. Yum. Condaked beans.

Yum. Conditioner. Jelly. Horned beef. Oh, yeah. Onion soup. Tortillas. Oh, tortillas.

I love a tortilla. Flour or corn? Corn. Oh. A dishwashing liquid. Gotta have it. Yeah. Milk.

White vinegar. I'll stop you and say, all of these things are available to have it. Yeah. Milk. White vinegar. I'll stop you and say, all of these things are available at the warehouse. Yes. Batteries. Spaghetti. Spaghetti and baked beans. They've got picky kids.

One likes the beans, one likes the skitty. Sweet chilli sauce. You've got to have it. Yum. Ginger nuts. Please, please do not. Ginger nuts. As in the nuts. Please, please do not. Ginger nuts. As in the biscuit.

Please run that together. Bottled water. Tinned peaches. Almonds. Beautiful pronunciation. Tinned pineapple. Or pineapple as some people call it. Tinned pineapple.

Fabric softener. Honey. And Vegemite. What a lovely grocery list. All right, Sarah. You can make a few meals out of that. Stand by. You now have 20 seconds to name as many items from our convey about as you can.

And your time starts now. Back beans, spaghetti, tortillas, sweet chilli sauce, batteries, Vegemite. Oh, God, here's the memory guy. Just your nuts. Type of vinegar. Just your nuts. You got the vinegar, did you? Yes, she got the vinegar.

She got the vinegar. Did you say onion soup? I'm pretty hurt you say onion soup. Five, six, seven. And you said the dishwashing liquid. Oh, what, are you just giving your... No, she said the dishwashing liquid. Oh, what, are you just giving... No, she said the dishwashing liquid. You're effectively shoplifting, sir.

You're effectively shoplifting, sir. You're giving her freebies, sir. So I'm thinking she got baked beans, onion soup, tortillas, she got the batteries, she got the spaghetti, the sweet chilli sauce, the ginger nuts, and the Vegemite. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

You're going to go eight. I add seven. It rounds it up. Yeah, but old wild child over here was adding one in. You're naughty. I'm playing loose. $160 of warehouse gift cards. Congratulations.

Is that going to come as one gift card? Or eight $20 gift cards? You're asking something I don't know the answer to. I reckon it's going to come as one. No, I want eight $20 gift cards. Because, you know, it always feels a bit of carrying more. So when you've got $100 and $5 notes, you feel like an absolute cunt. All right.

Well, congratulations, Sarah. We'll play again tomorrow. It's all thanks to The Warehouse. Make filling the pantry a piece of cake with Market Kitchen flour and The Warehouse. Next on the show, someone hot has been cheated with, the sheer audacity of it. The sheer audacity!

I like you, I do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Big news in last week was that Emily... Ratajkowski. Ratajkowski. You always say Ratajkowski or something, don't you? Yeah, yeah, because I get confused with Mike Wachowski from Meltzer's Inc. Yeah, right.

I'm sure they're related. Well, they're both Polish at the very least. So her marriage to this dude, Sebastian, is done. Right. They've got a child. That's always sad, isn't it? Yes. She is always on a list of hottest people in the world.

Let's say. Yeah, insanely good. One of those people where she showed people what her parents looked like and you're just like, it doesn't add up. Her parents aren't like trolls or ogres or anything. Or after she had a baby, you're like, what? I know you never, ever, ever, ever, ever compare yourself if you've had a baby to anybody with that resource afterwards.

You don't feel bad about that baby. That body of yours just made a baby. To me, I know it happens all the time, over 7 billion times in the last 100 years, given the population at the moment. But it's still a miracle to me, everyday miracle that happens all the time, over 7 billion times in the last 100 years, given the population at the moment. But it's still a miracle to me, everyday miracle that the body can do that. So don't compare yourself to that. But this dude, even when they got married, I was like, he's better.

He's coming in at about a 7. So is this the Sebastian? Yes. Actor, producer or something. So now it's come out that she's not confirmed it, but she's liked a whole lot of tweets of people saying he cheated on her. Oh, okay. So everyone's like, well, if she's liking,

you wouldn't like the tweets if it wasn't true, would it? Would you? No. You would have come out and said irreconcilable differences or whatever or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So everyone's like, he's cheated on her. Now, a lot of people including yourself

including myself can't believe it yeah you said she might have a horrible personality yeah like and I said you don't marry them

if they've got a horrible personality no you also said what if she farts a lot yeah yeah I did say that she could be now that's me

in bed yeah and someone wants to sleep with me well she could be one ofin'. Now that's me. In bed, yeah. And someone wants to sleep with me. Well she could be one of those belches, you know those like... Oh no! She could have like pongy feet or something. We're all trying to mow down the tent.

Pelotosis. Everybody's trying to take her down a peg or two. It's the New Zealand thing to do. And I have read an article that said it's problematic to look at it like this. Cheating regardless is regardless of your hotness levels, where you fall on the scale. Yeah.

And there shouldn't be a scale either. That's what that article said. But you shouldn't be like, how is a hot person, how dare he cheat on one of the best looking people in the world? Yeah. And I read the article and it did make good sense. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. But it is a question everybody asks when she is a 10 and he's a 5 or 6.

6 at the most. Well, no, no. He's cheating. He's probably like by himself. He was probably a 7. He's constantly standing next to her. He's standing next to a 10. So he looks like a 4.

Yeah. But still, the sheer audacity of the man to cheat on one of the world's hottest people. The sheer audacity. Why are you looking for a snack when you've got a bloody roast meal at home? You know what I mean? Full buffet experience. I would like to know this morning, if you've been cheated on, the sheer audacity this person had to cheat on you.

I'm thinking you were working. You were supporting them. They were lazy and didn't have it like that. And they cheated on you. And they cheated on you. And they cheated on you. And you would say to us, the sheer audacity of this person. That is what we...

Yeah, that's all we want to ask this morning. Yeah, I was doing it all, baby, and this person had the sheer audacity to cheat on me. That's like partners who cheat on their partners when their partner is pregnant. The sheer audacity. Of what my body is going through at the moment. And you have the audacity to just pop out there and flop it all around.

Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm vomiting into a toilet for your child. The sheer audacity. The sheer audacity. Do you think we'll hear from people that would say that, it's very un-Kiwi to say this, but someone who says, like, they're a 10. We did do this, maybe we see. Call us if you're a 10.

You don't have to be a 10, though, but you just have to be like, and maybe at the time you didn't realise it wasn't important to you. You thought, no, they've got a lovely personality, and I love them, and then you worked out that their personality was that of a trash panda. And so now you can be like, actually, you know what?

The sheer audacity of you. So when did somebody cheat on you with the sheer audacity? With the sheer audacity. We want to know this morning. 0800 dials at MSN number. Give us a call. You can text as well. That's the easiest way.

9696 when someone cheated on you what was their sheer audacity? we want to know now from you when someone had the sheer audacity to cheat on you whether you were a 10

and they were a 4 and they had the sheer audacity to cheat on you yeah not just like a whoopsie doopsie cheating because the love wasn't there but like you were rocking life in whatever way

and they had the sheer audacity to cheat on you regardless. The sheer audacity. We, Emily, Radikowski. Radikowski from Monsters, Inc. Emily Mike Wachowski.

Yeah. She, because a few people have said, what's the celebrity talking about again? And so she has not confirmed it, but she's liked tweets

that have indicated that her partner Sebastian, her husband, cheated on her marriage over it. Yeah, and of course people are saying she's 11. Yeah. And he's half of that. From a one to 10, she's 11. Yeah.

The sheer audacity. The sheer audacity! Jess, good morning. Morning. Who had the sheer audacity? Well, let's not go names. That could be a pending slander situation. Jess, what was the sheer audacity? Let's not go names. That could be a pending slander situation. Jess, so what was the sheer audacity?

So years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, I was about six months pregnant and I was working my butt off and I found out that my, I didn't find out until afterwards, that my partner had cheated on me while I was pregnant and got another girl pregnant. So I have an older daughter. My oldest daughter is now 18 and her sister is six months younger than her.

And I've got the same date of birth day, but six months apart. That doesn't line up, does it? No. That doesn't line up. And the thing is, this year, they met at primary school. Wait, so when did you find this out?

So I found out after I had my daughter that he'd done this because she'd had her daughter. Oh, dear. Her daughter is older than your daughter. No, my daughter's the older one, and then she's six months younger. So he got her pregnant. Yeah. But we'd been together for years,

and then he got someone else pregnant while I was pregnant. Yes, Jess. The sheer audacity. Honestly. The sheer audacity. Jess, thank, Jess, the sheer audacity. Honestly. The sheer audacity. Jess, thank you for your call. I give that four sheers. Yeah.

Vanessa, the sheer audacity. Hello, the sheer audacity, yes, indeed. Tell us about the audacity. Well, I came home from a netball tournament early morning on a Sunday morning when he didn't expect me to arrive home. Uh-oh. Knocked on my ranch ladder to no answer because it was locked.

So I yeeted myself through the window. You yeeted? You yeeted? What is yeeting? It was almost two metres off the ground. Yeah, that is a yeet. Fletcher, you're Googling yeet. I've never heard any yeet as a slang word. Yeah, for chuck, like throw, like're Googling yeet. I've never heard any yeet as a slang word.

Yeah, for chuck, like throw, like kick, boot, move. I've never heard that used. Oh, my God. It's one of the most used words in the house. I've never heard you throw something, you're like yeet. No. Okay. All right.

So you yeeted yourself in the window. I yeeted myself through the window, walked down the hallway to greet him at my bedroom door saying, it's okay, she slept on my side of the bed. What? What? Who did? The girl that he had in his bed, or our bed.

Oh, no, not in your bed. The sheer audacity. In your own bed. The sheer audacity. While you were at a netty tournament. Unbelievable. At a netty tournament, yep. What position do you play for netty?

I was going to say, what position were they in? I'm defense, so I can throw a good hook. You're defense? Yeah. Can't blame him. Everybody wants a goal shoot. Everyone wants a wing attack, don't they? No one wants a wing attack.

No one wants either of the wings. No one wants either of the wings. Everyone wants a goal shoot. Goal attacks, they move. Everyone wants a goal attack in the bedroom. The sheer audacity. What happened next, Vanessa? Was it over?

It was over. Well, indeed. Yeah. The sheer audacity. I give that a five shares. Five sheer audacity. Thank you, Vanessa. Some messages in.

Where do we start? When did someone have the sheer audacity to cheat on you? Dated a guy for over a year, found out he cheated on me seven months into the relationship, and I found out two years after we broke up. The sheer audacity. The sheer audacity. Oh my God,

you didn't even tell her. No. My brother-in-law had his wife cheat on him when he was terminally ill. She literally... Oh! What, she couldn't wait?

This is six shares out of a five share scale. She literally only had to wait a few months. The sheer audacity. She couldn't just wait. You couldn't wait. Like, come on.

I was paying all the rent and utilities for the house, and I found out my partner, who is now my ex, was still sleeping with her ex. The sheer audacity. The sheer audacity. My God. The sheer audacity Paying for it all Got cheated on

While pregnant More than once And when I was Recovering from a C-section The sheer audacity The sheer audacity They should be Rubbing your feet

Not out there Rubbing someone else Someone else's Feet And other parts I was cheated on Where He cheated on me

While I was pregnant and we were engaged and then booked a one-way ticket to a different country. The sheer audacity. Cheated on me while I was supporting him financially all whilst living in Starship with my daughter who had cancer.

The sheer audacity. That's a 10. That's a 10. On the sheer scale. We should have played some sheer. My girlfriend. It's spelt different. Oh, bugger.

My girlfriend cheated on me with my uncle. Sheer audacity. My girlfriend cheated on me with my uncle. So that's my auntie's husband. So not my blood uncle. My blood auntie, her husband. We're both females. And my uncle was just one of just a couple of people who knew about our secret relationship. That's my auntie's husband. So not my blood uncle. My blood auntie, her husband. We're both females.

And my uncle was just one of just a couple of people who knew about our secret relationship. And still went there. 28 years age difference. It didn't work out. To be fair, she was pretty good looking. But my uncle is not. The sheer audacity. That's a spider web of sheer audacity. When someone cheats on you with a two.

A two. Yeah. Write them two, that hurts. That hurts. Write them off. Write them off. But sheer audacity, but it hurts. You're like, what am I doing wrong? Yeah.

So there you go. There's a lot of sheer audacity. The absolute sheer audacity. My ex, my now ex, cheated on me on Christmas because I spent Christmas with my family who was going to meet his family on Boxing Day and apparently he couldn't wait. For what? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, about the bundling board Have you heard of a bundling board? No Bundling Bundling board No You would both actually need a bundling board Why?

If this was Is it for hot people? 17th century England or Europe. It's for hot people. Okay. It's for the unmarried. You put it down the middle of the bed.

And often it was locked into place because, you know, in like middle class, there wasn't room to have your daughter's partner, the man of which was courting her, to come and stay in a spare bed because there just wasn't a room. But there might have been a slightly bigger bed. The bundling board would go down the middle

of the bed and be locked in place by either the father or like a local religious man. The priest, perhaps. A pastor or a father or whatever religion you were, it would get locked in place and it wouldn't be removed until they were wed.

Okay. But the bundling board would be... Couldn't I just jump over the bundling board and... You bet. Hop on top? You bet. You bet. I found a way around that, didn't I?

Yeah, really quickly too. Really quickly. Did they not just have a squab? Did they not do squabs? What's a squab? You mean like a roll-out foamy mattress? No, because it wasn't like the warehouse to pop down and get it from in 17th century Europe. Imagine a life out the warehouse.

Pretty pack a sack full of straw and sleep on that on the ground. Right. So yeah, it was slapped down the middle of the bed. So the couple could lie next to each other, sleep in the same bed, but obviously not be tempted with physical touch. Yeah. Because as soon as I have a giant wooden board running down the middle of my bed, I'm instantly turned off.

Yeah, we can't see them. We can't see any thoughts. You can't look across and see their hot body. Yeah. But you can speak over the top, of course, and get to know each other. That could be kind of sexy. That could be, yeah, sort of holding back.

Hey, what are you doing over there? Yeah. Like blind date. Do you remember blind date? Yes, in the dark. Yeah. You can't see who's on the other side of the board. There might be three people over there,

and you've got to pick which one's going to be there when the bundling board goes down. Three people in the bed. Three other people in the bed. Yeah. Don't act surprised. Oh, my God, outrageous. I would never.

So, yeah, they would get to know each other over the bundling board and then take down the bundling board when they were married. However, 30% of brides in Britain and North America at the end of the 18th century gave birth within eight and a half months of their wedding. Yeah. So that would indicate that there might have been some bundle board breaches. Been there might have been some bundle board

breaches. Been some breaching of the bundle board. Later some body bouncing and then babies were arriving early. But that's always often the case. How many people would get married and then the baby would be like, baby came a little early. Yeah. It's like a

10 pound baby. They're like, it's premature. It's come two months early. Don't you give me that two months early nonsense. That's a fully grown baby. That thing's got a moustache. You must think God is stupid. He knows. He knows.

He sees everything. Don't you lie to us. He sees on top of the bundle board. He sees on the bundle board. He's got a bird's eye view of everything. He is the bundle board. He's sitting on the bundle board. He's got a bird's eye view of everything. He is the bundle board. Yeah. Leave room for Jesus.

So today's fact of the day is in oldie days, back in like the 17th, 18th century, it was common practice to put a block of wood down the middle of the bed to keep these unmarried sinners from bumming uglies. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. So according to a study, one in five people say that they know their partner's passwords. Only one in five? To everything.

So their banking. I mean, you'd only have to know one or two passwords and you'd have everything, right? What? Do people have different passwords for different things? You're supposed to, aren't you? You're supposed to have your casual passwords and your intermediate passwords and then your really intense passwords. And then you get those 140 notifications, your password's been breached.

You're compromised. Oh, I know. 140 times and you're like, ugh. Constantly breached. I shouldn't be publicising this. I mean, you probably only need to know your partner's PIN to get into their phone and you've got everything, right? Yeah, totally.

Because everything's logged in in your phone, right? If you've got the PIN to unlock and then within that, the app also needs a password, I would be very suspicious. Well, a lot of people... Your partner's got two-factor authentication going on you there. Yeah. What are they hiding? Well, yeah, I know. Your partner's got two-factor authentication going on you there. Yeah. What are they hiding? Yeah, I know.

An engagement ring? Oh, yeah. Oh, how would you hide that in a phone? Or the bill. Oh, yeah, right, right, right. I mean, I was going to try it. Wait, you are live on air committing a crime right now. Is this a crime?

Yeah, it is a crime. Okay. You can't just unlawfully go into someone's... What are this a crime? Yeah, it is a crime. Okay. You can't just unlawfully go into someone's... What are you logging into? Aaron doesn't have social media. His banking. Oh. But isn't that your banking too?

No, no, no, his personal banking. I don't know his username. Okay, well, you've got to have that. That's a bad start. That's number one. Where am I? I think Shada and I have the same password for everything now. Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, right up until she bloody gets breached because she plays fast and loose with security. And then your whole life is on, is up for grabs. Yeah, I think that I know a series of them that he uses. Do you know his phone pin? Do you know what? I thought I did. And I think he's changed it. Not that

I've tried to look, but the other day when he was looking at something, he went, do-do-do-do-do-do. And I was like, that's not there. Oh! Why have you done this? Okay. So no, I don't think I know his phone. I don't have any reason to go into his phone. Does he know yours? Yeah. But surely

seeing that new pin number, that would make most people want to know what's on his phone. Not me. Aaron doesn't have the audacity. The sheer audacity. To do anything secretive to me. So no, I have no need to know his password, but I would probably like at a pinch be able to get into his emails

or that kind of thing. If I wanted to. Yeah. While he's asleep, scan his face. Do a face scan. It's hard though when they're sleeping to pry their eyes open with both your fingers. Now you put sunglasses on them because now your face ID

so slip them on some sunglasses then do it and they won't. Does your eyes have to be open? Hang on. Try. Does it work? I don't know. Turn the phone around. You look like my dad when he doesn't have his glasses.

And then I open my eyes and it opens. So that doesn't work. Holding something at arm's length, squinting. I don't have my glasses. What does that say? What's on the menu? Just, can I borrow your glasses? Dad's always borrowing somebody else's glasses.

My dad now buys his glasses from one of those, like, $2 shops. That's glasses my dad now buys his glasses from one of those like two dollar shops that's what my dad gets his glasses from and he just buys like ten at a time

this is dad 101 and he can just lose them and just get a new pair I feel like one dad made this discovery and then put it on dad's network

which obviously isn't online because it'd take too long for them to type dad's network and by one finger typing on each hand they just tell each other at the pub. Yeah.

That's the Dad's Network. Scoot through the Dad grapevine and then they're like, do you know you can pick up all these bloody specs down there for two bucks and then who cares if you leave them behind? Now that's spec saver. Yeah. Yeah. It's your chance to win all week thanks to Bluebird And somewhere in Wellington it's currently 4 degrees

I imagine Ashley Bloomfield, Dr Ashley Bloomfield sleeping in Oh I hope he's sleeping On his first day off Ash if you're listening, babe turn the radio off, go back to sleep Go back to sleep Sit, snooze again mate, have another nine Meanwhile Dr Ashley Bloomfield sleeping in on his first day off. Vanessa, you're defrosting your car.

I sure am. What's your technique? Currently got cold water in the jug. So if you hear kids running around screaming, that's my toddlers who are all excited about why the grass is white. Oh, yeah. Tell them to stay off the lawn, though. They'll kill it.

It's a frost. They'll kill it. Are you going to boil the jug, Vanessa? No, don't. No. yeah. Tell them to stay off the lawn, though. They'll kill it. Yeah. It's a frost. They'll kill it. Are you going to boil the jug, Vanessa? No, don't. No. No. Don't. Yeah, no, you'll smash your windscreen there.

Yeah, don't do that. I mean, I should be encouraging it, because I am the heir to the Smith & Smith fortune. Which Smith are you? Are you Smith or are you Smith? Smith. Oh, really? The second one. Oh, I would have picked you as Smith.

The first one. Yeah, really? The second one. Oh, I would have picked you as Smith. The first one, yeah. Same. Vanessa, in front of Hayley, five bags of Bluebird chips. Now, go through the flavours, Hayley. We have, in my hot little hands, garlic bread flavour. Yum. Shocking to me. That sounds amazing.

Now, we have chilli flavoured. Yum. That's got horn ridden all over it. A little bit of hot. My personal fave, and I'll never be pulled elsewhere, sour cream and cheeves. Yeah. I mean, it's got to have a complimentary dip for me.

No way. Um, does your toddler need you? Sorry, did you hear that? Yeah, no. Don't be sorry, don't be sorry. Does your toddler need you or do you want more chip flavours? Tell them it's a fast and there'll be many more to come. Yeah.

More chip flavours. More chip flavours. We've got Ready Salted is the fourth. And last but not least, and I've already honed some of these, Burger Rings. Oh, well, I must admit, I was eating sour cream and chives last night, but you can't go past a good packet of Burger Rings. No, you can't go past the sour cream and chives. I, but you can't go past a good packet of burger rings. No, you can't go past the sour cream and chives.

I mean, all of them sound delicious, especially right now when I'm very hungry. Alright, so we're going to open the burger rings. The Bluebird burger rings. Hayley, if you would do the honours, inside there will be a cash amount. Ready? That smells.

That smell, there it is. Holy shibolies. Vanessa, you've just won $750. Are you serious? Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't tell the kids.

Let them be excited about the white grass. You keep this one under your bonnet. Congratulations, Vanessa. Oh, my God. You guys have honestly made my day. Oh, you've made ours. Also, Vanessa, permission to eat these burgerings, please. Oh, yeah, don't worry.

And I'm going to go get my kids their dollar bag of burgerings, and I'll have the $749. Yeah, girl, get it. Congratulations, Vanessa. Another chance for you to win tomorrow. And we've got another chance for you to win as well with Bluebird. You can find one of five golden birds in specially marked packs of Bluebird chips to win $10,000. That crunching is Hayley eating Burger Rings.

Yum. You can check out the clothes on the Bluebird NZ Facebook page. The hunt is on. We'll have another chance for you to win as well tomorrow. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up!

Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.