ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th April 2022

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

How many watch porn on their work laptopTop 6: Better types of baths than ice bathsPeople obsessed with celebs less intelligentCommunity NoticesMoney love languagesSlide into the DMsFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's. I have a small questiony I'd like to pose to the group. Bit of a poll. Can we get a vibe check? Okay. How early is too early for a laksa? Chicken noodle laksa.

It's just after 9am here while we record this. Yeah, and I've got a laksa? Chicken noodle laksa. It's just after 9am here while we record this. Yeah, and I've got a laksa in the fridge. I'd have one. I'd have it. It's never too early for a laksa. Not too spicy as it was made. And this blew my mind. So Aaron famously in our relationship has been absolutely unable to cook.

He can't cook an egg. Can't make toast to save himself. And it's fine. It's just one of his downfalls. But then yesterday I got home and he was making dinner and I said what do you make? He said I'm making a chicken laksa. I was like you've gone from zero to a thousand. I don't think you can mess that up though. And he made it in a pressure cooker.

What? Fancy wancy on it. So he made too much. Amazing. And now I've got a laksa in the fridge and it is just after nine and I'm wondering whether or not it's too early for me to heat it up. What have you got on after the Luxor?

Because that can get things going. I am wearing a white shirt. Okay, that too. Fletch means poopers in your pants. Oh, doing poopies

in my pants? Yeah, like are you going to do... I just mean like you don't want to be at a meeting. It's not that spicy. Okay, yeah, but still

it gets through you, all the spices. Spices and the coconut milk and the... Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's something to consider. It's a the spices. Spices and the coconut milk. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's something to consider. It's a warning. Always something to consider about a spicy morning dish.

Yeah. So when's an ideal time to eat a spicy laksa? I'd be having it now. I'd have it any time of the day. I'm just forewarning. Any time but afterwards, be warned. Be close to a loo. Yeah.

All right, well, I'll update you whether I shit myself or not. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. You're starting the day with a cloudy water. Yeah, I'm playing

with fire this morning. I've chucked a couple of wee laxies in my water. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not straight up explosive laxies, but some high-dose vitamin C, which can have a very similar effect, I have been told. I don't know if you know this about me, listeners, but for your 6 a.m. listening delights, I'm having a bit of trouble pooping. Good to know.

I've been taking the lipospheric vitamin C In the little sachets Yeah right And I've also noticed The bowel movements every morning Just for show That's it That's what it is

But I'm taking two of those Okay In this water here Right You should just Gull them straight from the sachet I was entry level I had to mix it with my Barocca

But now I just Gull it straight from the sachet And you're not getting, I had to mix it with my baraka, but now I just gullum straight from the sachet. And you're not getting enough fibre. I eat so much fibre. I've got a stuffed gut. It's always have, always will. Yeah. And now I'm just trying some new tactics to get it to...

New tactics. To get it to sort of clear out of that. Right. Coming up on... Raw chicken? Undercooked chicken. Undercooked chicken. Yeah, there's some of that in here as well.

Some of that juice. I thought that juice has familiar cloudiness to it That's what makes it so cloudy Yeah Coming up on the show What it means If you're obsessed with celebrities And celebrity news

It's spoiler alert It's not good news for you I pretend I'm not But I definitely am Next on the show though Well 5% of people Are doing this at work And honestly

They absolutely shouldn't be. A study out of Britain. That's Britain. That sounded Scottish. Britain, yeah. No, yeah. Britain. Yeah, that's better.

A study out of Britain has looked at how we use our work laptops. We've got work laptops. We do, yeah. Love them. Lovely. It's got way better speakers than my personal laptop. Do you use your work laptop at home? Sometimes.

Okay. Sometimes. I do a bit of a mixture. I do all my personal stuff on my own, but if I'm doing some stuff, work for the show at home, then I might watch a little bit of YouTube on it or something. Right.

Or sometimes because my personal laptop gets really hot because it's really old. Yeah. And so if I'm watching a show and it's nearly burning my thighs. I was going to say, if you haven't heated your thighs to nearly edible. Yeah, yeah. With a laptop. I'm medium rare at the moment. So yeah, I do use it to watch things sometimes.

It looked at what we're using them for. 8% of people use their work computer for gaming. 11% for a bit of online shopping. That's a lie. More. More. Yeah. I'm doing some online shopping on mine right now.

Yeah, I've got a window open. But technically you're at work, so I don't see a problem with that. Am I though? Oh, you don't see a problem with it. Oh, okay. I thought you were... I'm not even... No, I've got a window open. Technically you're at work so I don't see a problem with that. Am I though? Oh, you don't see a problem with it. Oh, okay. No, I'm okay. No, you do. Do the shop. 10% of people say they stream film or TV.

5% do a bit of gambling. A bit of gambling, betting, putting lottery, playing some online bingo. But the stat that I want to talk about, 5% of people have admitted to watching adult content. Oh, wow. Bit of P-O-R-N.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we got new laptops at the start of the year, and they've got some, like, our last laptops that we had for like seven years, you could do, I'm pretty sure they weren't even monitored, but now. Well, we can't do anything on those. We can't do anything. They've got these, we can't even install pretty sure they weren't even monitored but now well we can't do anything we can't do anything they've got these we can't even install anything update them that's

how little access we have and if you go to a website like i was trying to look up some um what was it oh um pam and tommy uh costume things and they were like a bit sexy can't go there yeah oh right i think you're looking at the actual Pam and Tommy. It works like a Christian mom. It is. With your internet usage here, right? Stop Christian momming us. Well, 5% of people that maybe have a little bit more leeway use their work laptops to watch porn.

Of those who admitted to doing so, one third of them said they watched for about two to four hours of their work day. So these stats are from 2022. So you're imagining a lot more people working from home. Get this. Who's got two hours? Get this.

An unfathomable 20% of the 5% that have admitted to watching porn on their work laptops say they watch X-rated content for between 4 and 8 hours a day. What? So of the 20% of people that admitted it. That's a... Once you're in... Yeah, so 20% of the 5%.

So that's 1%. Are they those people that take ages? God, what are they watching? Are they watching it for the story? I don't know yeah maybe they're watching like a like a full series i mean that's if your work is monitoring that you're getting fired not just for watching uh plrn but just for uh wasting work hours i mean people are admitting all sorts of things you know 17 strolling social media all day, but up to eight hours of pornographic material

on your work laptop, it must be good. It's got to be a good storyline. What are we talking? Either you mean the computer, it's got to be a good computer to have the battery life, to not get rid of viruses.

You don't want that heating up your thighs when you're in the middle. God, you'd think, am I about? No, it's just my laptop burning me. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, the internet is set ablaze and I'm imagining it's mostly

men that are surprised by this. A woman took to TikTok to share her mind-blowing hack for finding the perfect pair of jeans when you're going shopping without even having to try them on. Now, I don't know what it's like for men trying on jeans, but like women, you've got to have like a month to mentally prepare.

I've got to get my booty in them. I can't. Yeah, you've got to like totally get your head in the right space. You've got to like eat before you go, but not too much. You've got to really bring a good friend along, the right person. Yeah, I just get three sizes and just hope for the best and try them. What we talked about earlier in the year as well, when I went to buy pants, the trauma still sits with me that I fit a 32 and then I had to go to a 36 all in the same day in the same shop.

Yeah. There was no consistency in pants sizes. When was that? Feb, what do you be now? Like a 38. Up to a 42. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Well, this is a hack that I Like a 38. Up to a 42. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, this is a hack that I remember this when I used to work in retail. And when people would be like, oh, I don't want to try them on. I don't want to try them on. I'd be like, look, try this. So you take the pants like this, flat, lie them flat. Yeah. Then you wrap them around your neck. The waist.

Yeah, the waist. If the waist goes tip to tip around your neck, it'll fit around your waist. Are you saying that my fat neck is as fat as my waist? Yeah, but you've got a fat ass. Exactly. Fat neck, fat ass. I've got a skinny neck, but fat ass. I have never heard this before in my life.

Have you? Yeah, I have. I will say this hat works for someone with a classic body shape. Like quite up and down. Which isn't a classic body shape because nothing you know like quite up and down right which isn't a classic body shape because most people everyone's different bum yeah a bit of thigh i'm a thigh bum girl and so this doesn't work for me because like smaller waist oh my god it's so hard for me i'm like small tiny waist like massive juicy bum do you know what i mean we've talked about this before when i was in high school i had a bubble butt yeah right and and i but

i never wore jeans in high school. Yeah. Because my parents refused to buy us clothes that cost much money because we were growing so quickly. Of course. And I really feel my bubble butt lost its – my ass popped. It absolutely missed its chance to be the star of the show. Could you put a bottle of champagne on the back?

Probably could have. Probably could have. It was real pronounced. You could have put a juicy on there. It was absolutely more juicy couture They wouldn't even buy me Barker's track pants Those things are high to flat Or a fat

You know A good way to do it is to like Take a pair of your jeans That you love at home Put them around And see if it works And if it does Then you could probably go to a shop

And do it You just put them around your neck But then the quad The ham Yeah because I've got the thick quads So so I can't do a skinny jean. Marching quads. When I find a pair of jeans that fit, I always get a couple. I don't wear jeans.

You don't wear jeans. Nah. Never wear jeans. Nah, they're not made for a thigh. I've got a thigh that loves, they love having a little hooey in the middle, you know? Every day they're like. You'll be marching. Right.

Quick meeting, please. your thighs are just like let's get in here yeah quick meeting we think the we think the fanny's getting cold protect the southern border well if you're obsessed

with celebrities you are dumb a new study finds wow that's not a personal statement that is actually Well, if you're obsessed with celebrities, you are dumb. A new study finds. Wow. That's not a personal statement. That is actually some scientific study work.

Right. That's what they call it, scientific study work. Yeah. That's been done that looked into the relationship between celebrity-obsessed people and their cognitive ability. Do you mean the kind of people that like camp out outside celebrities hotel rooms or stalk them and turn up at their houses? No, they're not looking at psychopaths. It was just people who were like obsessed with the Kardashians

like knew everything about Bennifer getting back together. Follow them all on Instagram, want to buy what they're selling. They're like Perez Hilton is their homepage. You know, like they just want to know everything about celebrities. Yeah. Yeah, celebrity gossip is his business.

Does this hit you right in there? Because you always know where Rita Ora is and what she's up to. Yeah, like a pest. Yeah, that taika. Pesting around. One's coming for you later. No. No. No.

I'm a smart boy. You're a smart boy? I'm a smart boy. I think I'm like a little bit dumb girl. I'm not like celeb obsessed, but I do like, I don't know, I find them curious. Right. I find them sort of fascinating, but I'm not like genuinely invested in Bennifer getting back together.

You know? Yeah. So the study found out that there is a direct association between celebrity worship and poorer performance on cognitive tests. So they answered them to find out how celebrity obsessed they were. They asked them a series of yes, no questions about celebrities. And they gave them a series of sort of intelligence tests, cognitive tests.

And the people that were more obsessed with celebrities were not as smart i feel like we would know a lot about them though because we talk about them for our job it's our job to know isn't it yeah but yeah exactly but we also know about sciencey things like i'm quoting a study right now that's all that's science yeah know what I mean? Yeah, that's science. Do you know what I mean? I believe you've mispronounced the word. Skyance. Skyank. Is the second C?

Skyanky. Skyanky. Skyanky. I mean, it makes sense, I guess, because they're talking about people that are Hollywood obsessed with Hollywood gossip and A-list activity, which takes up a lot of time So you just go like you're putting more time

And effort into learning about The lives of these celebs than you are about learning How to do General subtractions Yeah pluses minuses Your times tablas Oh they were always challenging it Yesterday

Shawl Shawl I think it is Shawl Shawl was pronounced I can't remember It's been a long time since I was there I'm super smart Yesterday Aaron was doing a

A crossword puzzle And he asked me What's a type of triangle Beginning with an S Scalene Scalene Nah see I'm dumb He didn't know

Scalene You were about to say Saucilies Saucilies. Saucilies. It's an abbreviation of isaucilies. I think it's isaucilies. Actually, I was about to say sausage.

Sausage triangle. Yes. My favourite type. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. Today's top six is wishing a very happy birthday to the ice bath father himself, Wim Hof.

Oh, okay. Wim Hof. Now, this is the technique where you have a cold bath and you go, and you power through it. You breathe through the cold yeah yeah you don't you work way up to the ice bath hey don't you have a couple of cold showers yeah you do the breathing in the cold shower some people swear by the cold showers don't they i can only have a cold shower if i work it down same start start lukewarm and slowly go down. And then you're going boop and then you're like, okay, adjust. Boop, boop, boop. I'm just as Wim Hof.

I put as Wim Hof vaccinated the first Wim Hof. Is that the first Google? I've got a strong feeling he's going to breathe his way through this virus. Wim Hof says a cold shower a day is nature's own vaccine. Oh, so he's not vaccinated? Absolutely not. It doesn't look like it. No. It certainly doesn't look like it.

So I'm happy to present to you the top six better types of bath than ice baths. Okay. Number six, a baked bean bath. I thought you were going to do things like bird baths. Oh, no. Not the actual bath. Things you

can bathe in. You can bathe in, right. Okay. Well, bird bath, can you name any other sorts of bath? Claw tub. Claw foot bath. Yep, yep. An Airbnb bath. Shub.

A shub. A plastic bath from a 1980s bathroom renovation that's got the water drips down the side. Where it's been water marked. Okay, all right. So things to bathe in. Right. A baked bean bath. Microwaved?

A warm baked bean bath. Oh, youhe in. Right. A baked bean bath. Microwaved? Warm baked bean bath. Oh, you're good. It'd be warm, but also it'd be weird having that many lumps and stuff around you. What do you do when you're in a bath and it gets a bit cold? You run the hot tap. What do you do when your baked beans bath gets cold? You take out some into a big bowl. Microwave it?

Microwave it. Until it's real hot and then pop them in and then stir them. Stir them. Stir them. But you've got to be careful when you pour it back in. Yep. Don't pour it. Until it's real hot and then pop them in and then stir them. Stir them. But you've got to be careful when you pour it back in. Don't pour it straight onto the genital area. Okay. Maybe spread it across the top and then stir it with your hand

before getting back into the baked bean bath. You might get your willy confused for the little sausages if you go for those ones. Oh, yo. I love those little sausages. God knows what meat it is. I think if your willy looks like a processed... Is that sort of a normal size?

Not in a warm baked bean bath. Maybe when you've been Wim Hofing. Maybe even in an ice bath it looks like a little sausage that comes in a can. Sure. Number five on the list of the top six better types of bath than an ice bath, a warm clay bath. Looks like a mud bath. You know like in South America you can go up that volcano and go in the mud bath.

Yes, it's so good for your skin. Yeah. How hot is it? I think it's all right that people can go in it. Right. You would hope so. Just a quick dip. Otherwise, everyone that jumps in is dying.

Maybe it won't kill me. Yeah. They've died. Maybe it won't kill me. Number four on the list of the top six types of baths that are better than ice baths, a pudding bath. Oh, yum. Oh, that'd be fun.

Like a choccy, steamy pud bath. Imagine. It would be very much like that. The viscosity. The viscosity. Oh, thank you. That's the word. And you'd get out and it'd be like.

And then you could lick yourself clean. Yeah. Like a cat. Like a cat. Yeah. And you could definitely eat while you're in there. I think I'd need a shower after that. What are we all imagining?

Chocolate pudding or sort of more of vanilla based? I was chocolate or like a steamed caramel, like a steamed pud. I was butterscotch for some reason. Oh, okay. Yum. Like a butterscotch pud. Can't explain why. Number three on the list of the top six better types of baths than ice baths, a wine bath.

Hello. You'd be like, oh no, the plug must be loose. It keeps getting... The levels keep getting low. You'd drink yourself out of that bath, wouldn't you? I don't think I'd get out if I... Get yourself clean before you hopped in. You don't want to hop into that bath, Stinky.

Yeah, but the wine's already been all over some stranger's manky toes. Don't they squish it with their feet? I don't think so. I think machines do that. Number two on the list of the top six types of bath better than ice baths, mashed banana bath. I think it would be real slippery and slimy.

I wouldn't like that. It would be a bit stanky. Because if you've got to have a banana soft enough, it's got to be that real pungent, like black on the outside banana. I think I'd rather do an avocado bath. Oh, expensive. banana soft enough, it's going to be that real pungent, like black on the outside banana. Yeah. I think I'd rather do an avocado bath. Oh, expensive. Expensive, but then good for your skin.

God, wouldn't it be? The money in that tub though. The oils are just. Maybe you could go like half avocado, half feta and smashed peas. Yes. Which is what people do when they're trying to replicate avocado without having to spend the money on avocado. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six types of baths, better than ice baths, M&M

bath. Oh, yum. I just think it'd be kind of fun to slide into like M&Ms and then when you move, they're like shh. Oh. You'd get all the colors on you and you'd end up brown. Yeah, you would. It'd be a mix of all the colors.

Yeah. And it'd go brown on you. Crispy M&Ms? Number one. No, no, no, no. Peanuts. No, mixed bag. Crispy M&M's? Number one. No, no, no, no. Peanuts. No, mixed bag. Mixed M&M's.

You get everything. You get everything. And you don't know what it's going to be. Weird. Surprise every time. Oh, what's yours? Peanut. Oh, no.

Last. No, the peanut doesn't have enough chocolate. Peanut doesn't have enough chocolate. You would go an original over a peanut M&M. Yeah, 100%. You can't beat original. I'd rather get a skinny almond than I would a peanut M&M. Yuck. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Not enough I would a peanut M&M. Yuck.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Not enough chocolate in a peanut M&M. Yeah, no. But you can always tell them because they're bigger. Yeah. They're bigger, candy coated. They are. That is today's subset.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We've all heard of the five love languages, haven't we? Physical touch, gift giving, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation. That's what I love. I'm the spending time, the quality time. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm definitely not.

I don't know where it works. I've spent some time with you. Words of affirmation? Yeah. Nothing? Great day. Champ. Because of you, champ.

Thank you. That really fed my love language. Well, some people are into presents, aren't they? Yeah, gifts. Love the presents. I'm not so much about gifts. Nah. It's materialistic.

I couldn't be with someone that was all about the gifts. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, hold your horses. I am with someone that's all about the gifts. There you go. So I guess you can make it work. So those are the five languages, but there are also five money love languages that can

tell you a bit more about your partner and how they like to be treated. So how they relate to money tells you a bit more about how they like to be treated. So these are the five money love languages. One is closed communication. So if you are someone who is constantly worried or concerned or I don't want you to see my bank account or I'm like constantly checking my bank balance. Yeah. And if your partner talking to you about money challenges you, you're someone who needs to be reminded of their own personal strengths. Oh, okay. That's what it says about you.

So rather than pointing out where you're going wrong, because you're a bit like, it's about pointing out your strengths. Okay. So there you go. Number two is saving security. If you're someone who just loves to see that savings account, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Yeah, I'm guessing that's the kind of person that would always be on it,

their partner about online shopping. Yeah, so this person has a little bit of a problem because they can often come across as a little stingy. Right. And a little bit like, oh, really? Fletcher's stingy? No, he comes across asingy, all about savings. Yeah, well, no, but then I can splurge on things.

Okay. But yeah, I guess I am a little bit. Yeah, those people are sometimes so focused on saving for the future that they're not living in the here and now. Yeah, so I'm going to be that person that dies and all the SPCA, get all my money. No, no, no. And I didn't spend it when i was alive exactly you spend your money screw the spca okay that's how i'm gonna live life now no i don't mean and i love the spca uh number three is generous giving so if you're

someone who's like i'll shout i'm very generous with my money i won't think twice about it splurge on my friends and family all the time uh that person is obviously it's great that they're so generous but uh they need to make sure that they're not screwing themselves over by not giving to themselves because then you've got nothing for yourself at the end of the day nothing for your partner as you're looking at them going they're a generous person with their money is there going to be anything left for me right Right. Here's me, number four on the list, spontaneous spender. Yeah, right. I see something, I'm like, I want it.

And now it's mine. It's mine, yeah. It's on my doorstep. Yeah. Someone whose money love language is spontaneous spending. They appreciate excitement in their day to day. It's the thrill. Yeah.

You know, what's the hormone? Dopamine hit. Dopamine hit when you spend. They view money as something that's meant to be enjoyed. So, I mean, all that says about them is they're a fun person. Yeah. Next, moving on. I mean, they might not be that fun when they're in the retirement home

because they've spent all their money. There'll be no money for a retirement home. They'll be living under a bridge. Yeah. And then so number five is the antithesis. It's the diligent planner. So if your money love language is the diligent planner, you likely have a spreadsheet.

That's probably on your desktop. This actually might be more you. Outgoings and incomes. Yeah, I don't do spreadsheets. Budgets? Probably maybe, yeah. I'll give myself a certain amount of money. You have a budget?

Yeah. Who's a budget guy? I've never had a budget. I'll give myself a certain amount of money. You have a budget? Yeah. Who's a budget guy? I've never had a budget. I'm in trouble. You do sound like someone that does need a budget. I do. So for you, you require being as informed as possible about all things. Yeah, I think that would be more me.

And you need to make sure when you meet someone that your partner understands your needs of being a little bit more regimented and so they're not so put off by your lack of spontaneity. Ouch. Wow. That you're just like a bore, I guess. I'm a bore, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, wow.

So those are the five money love languages. Closed communication, saving, secure, generous giver, spontaneous spender or diligent planner. What are you, Vaughan? I don't know. I was kind of trying to slot myself into one of those, but. Are you a closed communicator and you don't want to talk about it? But yeah, mate, I know because. You just let Sade deal with everything.

Sade takes care of it. Yeah. You're a generous giver. I'm a generous giver. I don't mind shouting a dinner or something. Yeah. That's good. I like doing that.

Maybe that's you. Yeah. To lord it over people. Yeah. That's good. I like doing that. Maybe that's you. Yeah. To lord it over people. Yeah. You owe me. You owe me, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Haley. Play ZM.

It is that time of the year where a lot of people are away. Easter, Anzac Day, marry those up. You get a nice little break. Some people have done the whole 12 days, haven't they? Yeah. And it kind of takes on that if you are letting too much information about the fact that you're away from your house, teamed up with previous posts you've put on the internet, you could be a burglar's absolute wet dream. Well, yeah.

And your own security nightmare. I mean, if you look at the most extreme ends of things Kim Kardashian and celebrities Where they are posting their overseas holidays And so people burgle their house Do you remember the Paris Hilton What was that? What they called them?

The gang? Yeah there was a documentary about them as well And they went around robbing the rich people's houses Yeah and Kim Kardashian said she was in Paris And then they kidnapped her They reckon they got most of that information from that heist from her social media. Yeah, and now she always delays her posts after she's left somewhere.

Well, apparently that's a really good idea, because if you're live posting, if you're out, especially on stories, if you put something up and someone's following you with the idea of trying to rip you off because you posted something else, they'll know where you are and how far away from your home you are. And this is how you might be thinking, well, how are they going to find me? There's something where if you put up like a new purchase and someone hashtags bragging, even if it's like, oh, my God, you're hashtag bragging. And it's one of your friends just they literally search the hashtag bragging. And it brings up all of this of this shopping list of luxury goods

and then they can follow you. I got this big ass TV. Yeah. Hashtag bragging. Yeah. Sorry about it. Hashtag bragging. And then they can see that you've got that massive ass TV.

Now they can see you're not at your house with some other light things. So another one is when you move into a new home, you shouldn't put up photos of your keys because if it's a high definition definition enough photo they can literally take it to a locksmith and be like hi this is my girlfriend or this is my boyfriend and this is the only photo we have of our house key of which we've lost and they can like zoom in and get the number of it and might be able to even do the shape of it from the wild from the

key yeah and then they can cut you a key. And so you're not technically even breaking in. You're unlocking the door, going in, getting the hashtag Breaking TV, and you know how long they're going to be away for. One important piece of information I'm curious as to, how do they know where you live? They'll just piece it together. Well, a lot of people will geotag.

So they might be like, my new home or my new TV, and they'll just put their location. It'll drop the pin. Yeah, and you can work it out. Or you could work out by Googling their name. Yes, Google image searching as well. If you're taking a photo in your backyard or something. Yeah.

This kind of is a step further from the old, you know, if you get a new TV, don't put the box out on the street. Oh, true, yeah. It's a bit like... How good is that after Christmas Day when you go around that first recycling day where maybe people have missed a couple and they've got all their presents boxes outside? So apparently in the UK, I don't have New Zealand stats on this, but in the UK, only 25% of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok users have their channels set to private.

Oh, wow. So 75% of people are on public profiles that anybody TikTok users have their channels set to private. Oh, wow. So 75% of people are on public profiles that anybody can see. Yeah, I'm public. So yeah, if someone hashtag bragging in your comments, then people can search and it'll come up. Crazy, eh? That's wild.

So what do you do? You just be more cautious of the way you're posting. Yeah. Yeah, just make your profiles private. They said- Oh, but I gotta get the followers. Well, just don't brag about anything. Yeah, don't post about your holiday until you're back from your holiday.

Unless someone's house-sitting your house, then at least your house is going to be all good. Turn off your location of posting. If you are going to geotag, do it later when you're already home from it. Maybe lay off the Insta bragging. Yeah. That's a big one. And when you get a new home or move into a new flat,

don't put a photo of you holding the key, being like, homeowner. Yeah. Because literally they could take that key and copy it, which is crazy. Slide into the DMs. Oh, this is Hayley's first time. It is. Slide into the DMs. We haven't done this for a while. It'sley's first time. It is. Slide into the DMs.

We haven't done this for a while. It's been a long time, but it's basically we sit on Instagram. Hey, got a question? Ask it. No such thing as a silly question. And you have told me that I have no choice but to answer. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's like the law. No.

All right, I'm not going to get fired. You're not going to get fired. Executive Intern Anya joins us from the producer's booth, and you've compiled a list of these questions. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Got the juicy ones. Have you ever been mad at each other and had to pretend to be fine on air? No.

No, we haven't had a fight yet, have we? Not yet. No. But we know we, over yet, have we? Not yet. No. But we know we, over all the years we've worked together, we've never really fought, have we? Um, nah. Be the odd little raised voice and you just say your piece and you move on. Yeah.

You care too much and I don't care enough. Like right now during this red air segment, I'm trying to pull apart this drink bottle. You really are. I hope it's a Leicester. Oh, really are. I hope it's a Lester. Oh, damn it. I was hoping it was rubber. I broke at the wrong point.

I was going to break around there so I could somehow replace this. Why do you get scissors? With something. Why do you get scissors for? Leave me alone, Hayley. Just get the scissors. You're being ridiculous. We're still on here.

Everything's fine. No, we don't fight. We don't. We don't. All right. Now we'll raise voices. Next DM. Where is on the top

Of your list For international travel When we open up Oh man I'm going to Thailand Thailand is my Favorite place in the world I've been so many times

Wait Your Top of your list Is somewhere you've been before Yeah Okay I love it I want a rub

I want the best food I want a tuk tuk Around in the heat What more do I want If a guy was saying That answer That first bit I want a rub I want a rub I want a tuk tuk I want to best food. I want a tuk-tuk around in the heat. What more do I want? I think I was saying that answer, that first bit. I want a rub. I want a rub. I want a tuk-tuk.

I want to go to Thailand and get a rub. I meant it how you heard it. Exactly. But okay, what about somewhere you've never been? Where's somewhere you've always wanted to go? Well, I don't know if you've heard me mention this before, but my parents have an apartment in Italy, and I've never been. Did they do that thing where they bought a house for a euro?

You know those news stories? No, nah. We've talked about this, eh? No, but- 17 French castles that cost less than a house in Timaru. I mean, it did cost less than a house in Timaru, but it wasn't one of those. And it's in a tiny village. Tiny little village.

I've seen photos. It's very lovely. It is lovely. So I'd like to go there because I haven't been right got free accommodation free a-com lovely place to get married just before the pandemic i was going to do south america a bit more of south america and do much pichu oh beautiful and that's been that's still on the list yeah it's still there it's still there i think it's still i think the pandemic lasted this long and then, I don't know, it blew down. I bet you like five minutes before you go, it's like, oh, it's gone. It's gone.

It's gone. It was just old. It blew down. Morgan, where are you going? I don't know. I haven't given it much thought. Very content in this little country we've got here. Proud of us.

All right. I don't know. Like, is this where I could go if anything was- Yeah, anything. Any possibility? Disneyland? No, anything. Any possibility? Disneyland? No, sir. You're going to say Noosa.

I think you're going to say Noosa. Disneyland. You want to stay at that $6,000 Star Wars hotel. I want to stay at the Star Wars hotel. Why don't you come to Ashley with me, darling? Oh, darling. Do you have Star Wars there? Darling.

I'm sure we could find a cinema for you. Darling, no, I don't want to watch Star Wars. I want to live Star Wars there? I'm sure we could find a cinema if I were you. Darling, no one ever watched Star Wars. I would love Star Wars. Next DM. Fletch, this one's for you. Does Fletch want to get married or will he just keep having casual girlfriends? He doesn't want to get married, no.

Why are you speaking about yourself in third person? What? He doesn't want... Well, I don't know. She spoke to yourself in third person? What? He doesn't want... Well, I don't know. She spoke to me in third person. No, you're the second person to her. Yeah. Well, I'm going to speak about Fletch in third person.

He doesn't want to get married. You don't want to get married? No. It doesn't make you feel good to do. Well, do you? Yeah. Well, you're pissing around. That's not on me, to be fair. That's not on me To be fair

That is not on me It did take your fiance Nine years to propose Didn't it Do you just want to keep Having these casual girlfriends I don't How casual are they

Like jandals Like super casual Jean shorts At a restaurant Yeah What have you got The bra straps Hanging out of their singlet tops

Hilarious Next DM G-string showing Vaughan Where is your favourite Yumcha restaurant Oh I tell my yumcha Seriously Hilarious. Next DM. G-string showing. Vaughan, where is your favourite yum cha restaurant? Oh, I tell my yum cha, Grand Harbour in Auckland is a great yum cha.

It's kind of like our family yum cha. There are other really good yum chas around. You don't want to spend too much money at a yum cha. What I mean is you want to go somewhere where you can get lots and each dish is relatively well priced. You don't want to go somewhere where it's like $18 for a dish and it's going to cost you hundreds of dollars. Yeah.

No, that's not how yum cha works. No. No, not at all, my friends. So I would put my personal endorsement, Grand Harbour. I would love to do a tour of New Zealand to find every yum cha restaurant, best one for the region. God, you'd look like a little pork bun after that, wouldn't you?

By the time you get to Gore, you'll be rolling there. Rolling to town, any yumcha here? They're like, no, we're Gore. I'll be like, I'm to Invercargill. Roly-poly, roly-poly. Are you Googling to see if Gore's got a yum cha?

No, Invercargill does I reckon Invercargill would have a yum cha Yeah, yum cha takeaways I don't know if that No, that's not a yum cha Yum cha must be eaten on site Right, there's a Hong Kong restaurant Nope

Oh, maybe, maybe Depends You'll have to go down there and try it Hong Kong restaurant might do a yum cha Looking at, yeah, good four stars Yeah, Hamilton had a good yum cha I can't remember the it. I might do a yumcha. I'm looking at a good four stars. Yeah. Hamilton had a good yumcha. I can't remember the name of it, but enjoyed a yumcha in Hamilton.

Well, message in your suggestions for Vaughan because he's apparently doing a nationwide tour at some stage. Next question. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe or sock, shoe, sock, shoe. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Theck, sock, shoe, shoe. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. The other foot's just sitting there abandoned the whole time. Sometimes if I go swimming, I do sock, shoe, sock, shoe.

Why are you wearing shoes when you're going swimming? You should take those off. I reckon you're so fast. You're doing it all wrong. Sorry, I mean, when I'm getting changed after swimming. That's a health and safety risk. I don't want to risk a wet sock on the wet floor. This is true.

That's the only way that you could go sock shoe. Yeah, absolutely. Sock shoe. But then I would, is there anywhere to sit? Yeah, you're sitting, but you put your sock on the shoe. If you, I'm like, yeah. Socks, always sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Absolutely.

Any more questions? Finally, what is your top piece of dating advice? I was thinking about this the other day. Why? I was thinking about leaving Aaron. No. That just really ticked me off that day. I know.

I was just sort of thinking about what else is out there? Dating advice or relationship advice? Dating. I can't. I've never dated. But surely you would, at the early stages of your relationship is counted as dating, right? It's the first stage of a relationship. Yeah, I suppose so.

Just go through their phone as soon as you can and just check their bank balance, messages to other people. Dating, relationship. Partnership. Partnership. Married. Then you kiss them. And then you kiss them. relationship partnership married then you kiss them never kiss before you get married yeah babies mine would be get the farting out of the way early

because when I was first dating Aaron and I would go and stay at his house for like a few days in a row man I would get in my car afterwards and my guts would be so sore from holding in farts for three days. I'd just be driving back to my flat like 10 minutes up the road. Just letting them out.

Jesus. I were in knots. And now that I fart in front of him all the time, I'm like, I could have just got this out of the way months before. Yeah, saving his stomach cramps. But he may not have stuck around initially. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

There has been a study done in the UK that looks into how long it takes the Brits to say, I love you. How long did it take you to tell your fiancé, Hayley? I reckon like four months in, maybe, in the car, going around the corner. What, it just came out? Yeah, I think we were chatting. And he goes, oh, I love you. And I went, oh.

Oh, you love me? I love you. And that was it. So he said it, you said it straight back. Yeah. But you weren't first. I wasn't first. He was first.

He was first. Vaughn, you were second, first. I was. Because I remember there was some chat about it There was a lot of chat about it I think she said it to me the first time She doesn't like me telling this story But she was very angry when she said it

And I was like, okay And then I made her wait a few more months And then I said it Well, I'd never said it to anybody before I wanted to be very, very sure. So, yeah, like 11 months. I think it was like just shy of a year. Well, from the study, the average Brit takes less than a month.

So almost one in five admit to saying I love you to their significant other in just three months. That's Carl Fletcher numbers. First week. Yeah, you don't muck around. Just drop the album. Get it in there if that's what it's going to take to get them pants off. So men tend to say I love you fastest, according to this study,

with 19% admitting. Exactly. See my previous thing. They say just after a month together, 19% of men will say it. Wow, that's a red flag to me. Women, on the other hand, prefer to wait a bit. 18% saying they say it after about three months. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's about you. That's about me. So they're also delved into the most common love languages with the Brits. And you remember that there's physical touch. So the majority of Brits are physical touch. Yeah. 63% of them. Love a push, love a grab.

Have you seen them? What? I'm allowed to say that. Yeah. Followed close second by words of affirmation, 53%. I love you, Gav. I love you. You're hot, Tracy.

You've got great boobs, Tracy. Great nangs on you, Trace. Almost half, 48% said they like to spend quality time together. No thanks. That's not you. Not my love language. 32% admitted acts of service and a smaller part, 21% their love language gift giving.

Which is the worst love language in my opinion. It's not a love language. It's you being a greedy little piggy. Greedy little materialistic piggy pig. When I hear about people who say I love you really early on, I'm like, ding, ding, ding. Red flag, red flag, red flag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, have you farted? Creepy. Have you had a fight? Have you gone through anything of any great significance together? Because then you love someone when you're like, whoa, that was intense. I love you.

Because you've been through like a pandemic lockdown with them. A pandemic lockdown. Absolutely. You've seen them shit themselves or spew. It's like when, it's like, oh yeah, that's bad. It's like when people like start dating and then a couple of weeks in they're like, oh, this is my partner.

And you're like, get out. Partner? No, no, no, no, no, no. Get out. Wait, how would you introduce this as my? Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Yeah.

Yeah. Partner in the class. Oh, no, wait. You've got to work. No, I thought you were saying there was a third partner they haven't told them about. Oh. No, no, no.

No. No, no. That says more about you than it does about Hayley. Yeah, it does, actually. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. I got a massage yesterday. Doesn't that hurt? Yeah, it does actually. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I got a massage yesterday. Like an hour tie?

Well, listen, usually I go hour tie and I have my spot. Okay. But this spot wasn't convenient to me yesterday, so I tried a new one locally. Okay, always you're rolling the dice when you try a new massage place. Yeah. Very much so. I mean, I feel like you're rolling the dice all the time because sometimes people know what they're doing.

Sometimes they don't, do they? This place was more, I'd say, you know, how do you say it? Like relaxation-based, like more sort of spa-based than my usual. Like I like Thai style because they kind of like toss you around a bit. Except at the end when they break your neck and they bend you backwards. I love it. And then they crack you and then they laugh. Yeah. Like,

you tight little woman. Well, no, I got a relaxation one yesterday. I was like, I'm a bit of a tightly wound woman and I thought this would be a nice thing to do. But this is my first massage I've had this year. And of course, I've changed my hours. You know, I'm an early riser now.

Yeah. And I didn't anticipate how I would feel. And I got a relaxation massage. So I fell asleep. I want to say minimum seven times. And for me, I'm always... Seven times. No, and like, not just like, oh, I've drifted off there.

I've gone like... Yeah, come back to life Were you caught Were you catch a dribble I was dribbling But my face was in the hole So it was just dropping onto the floor And then there were a couple of times Where I did the like

Breaths And then there were a couple of times I straight up went I don't even think I've done a relaxation massage Is that just where it's really light? It's like long strokes. Rub it slow. Oil.

The pressure's sort of like. Medium. Medium to soft. As opposed to like getting in the knots and stuff. I'll say I won't have another relaxation one just because, yeah, I was like sleepy more than anything. I've fallen asleep and I feel like they put you to sleep and then the minute they hear you go.

They're just like. They stop. I just fallen asleep and I feel like they put you to sleep and then the minute they hear you go, they're just like. They stop. I just might have a smoke. Or just like. They're just vaping in the corner. Yeah. And then like it was a stress. It wasn't relaxing at all because the first 30 minutes, I would have said maybe five of my falling asleep happened then.

Yeah. And then in the second half, all I was doing was trying to like overstimulate my brain so I didn't fall asleep again. Oh, no, you just got to ride it and enjoy it. So I had my head pulled through the hole and I just had my eyes open. Because I was like, if you close your eyes, you're going to go to sleep. So I was trying to open my eyes.

Because when they stop and they have a vape in the corner, they vape sandalwood. They do. So you don't notice it smells like the whole place. I don't know why I feel like it's rude to get a relaxation massage and fall asleep. The highest compliment of relaxation. I was going to say, it's the highest prize because you've been relaxed to sleep. But then you could have just gone home and had a nap for free. I know, and it wasn't cheap either.

No, that's the thing. Could have had a free nap. Instead, I had an asleep rub. I guess my skin got nice and moisted. Yeah, that's true. Take what you will. That's why I always do The only reason I ever go is because my back's knotted And so I'm getting the normal massage

And it's hurting like hell There's no way you can fall asleep I think next time I'm going to have to go Chinese dry I've had a Chinese Style massage dry before And I whipped I was in so much pain I've had a Chinese-style massage dry before and I wept. Yeah. I was in so much pain.

What about a- what's the Fijian massage called? Lavo-lavo massage? I don't know. Never had one. Must be done wet. Must be done- I know, the wetter the better. Must be done wet.

It's always worth that extra- The strong, grippy hands. Extra money for the olive oil. Extra $10 for the olivani. Oh, absolutely. Olivani? Do they the olivani. Oh, absolutely. Olivani? Do they use olivani? Bobo massage.

Bobo massage. Oh, yeah. Well, I won't be doing it again in a hurry. That was a very expensive nap. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. If you spent a fortune on your wedding, but it was a small and intimate affair. Yeah.

I've got very bad news. You're going to get divorced. 100%. What? 100%. 100%. You're getting divorced. Really 100? No. No. Are these facts? But great excuse to get out if you've been looking for a way to end your marriage. Be like I have to leave you because

we had a small but expensive wedding. Right. So apparently if you have a big wedding, lots of guests but keep it expensive wedding. Right. So apparently if you have a big wedding, lots of guests, but keep it really cheap, which sounds like an impossible task. Or, you know, we've been talking a bit more about like your potluck weddings. That keeps the price down. And the more people that come, the more dishes get bought with. Yeah.

So... Like low-key weddings, you mean? Low-key weddings, but big attendance. Now, this is a study in the UK that echoed the findings of a study in the US. Researchers found that 10% of marriages that started with a wedding that cost more than £20,000, so over £40,000, broke down within three years, which was twice the amount of people

that spent under that. Right. So it was a higher sample size. Do you think that's because that's a couple that, you know, they don't have big expectations. They're just nice and cheap and cheerful. They don't care. Their friends are there.

It's not about the materialistic side of the day. It's about the... So therefore, they're less likely to have money troubles? Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I mean, when Aaron and I got engaged, I was also told, don't start your marriage in debt. So don't create a debt.

So if you can't afford the wedding, don't. Did that little sorted.co.nz mouse tell you that? No. You remember that little mouse? Right. It was a very wise mouse. Wise mouse. Will you be getting married when you're 70 and you pay your house off?

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're all invited if you can stick it out. But it is a good point, though, because, yeah, if you're going to spend 50, 60K on a wedding and go overboard, that's like so much of your house or a house deposit. Yeah, and you get a lot. Exactly. And then I'm like, that's already stressful because then there's maybe resentment about who wanted that day.

And you're like, we can't buy a house. You're like, well, if we had that $50,000 that we spent on that stupid party of yours and you're like, stupid party, that was the happiest day of my life. Or you could just have a boat. Oh, that'd be nice. Imagine having a little boat. A boat instead of a wedding. Also, it was found out that 34% of couples who had 10 or less guests,

10 or fewer, I think I say there. Yeah. Fewer than 10. Fewer than 10. 10 or fewer guests at their say there. Yeah. Fewer than 10. Fewer than 10. 10 or fewer guests at their wedding ended up divorcing within a decade, which was double that of people who had bigger weddings. Wow. Because they don't have any friends, so they're always annoying their couple.

They're annoying each other. They're not going out with their friends because they don't have any. My parents had four guests at their wedding. Wow. And we, my brother and I, were not invited. Neither were their parents. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And going strong. Going rock steady. Going gangbusters. Well, they are the... All right. So low-key, cheap wedding, but lots of guests. Lots of people. Lots of guests.

Keep the cost down. How do you do that? Potluck. Potluck. Potluck in a field. In a park. BYO in a public place. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. A new survey has looked into sleep compatibility, asking people about all sorts of sleeping habits, and it's revealed quite a lot here. Two in five people surveyed have actually ended a relationship over their ex-partner's poor sleeping habits. Snoring would be a big one. Snoring would probably be the biggest of them. But like, I don't know, someone who's got really bad sleep walking or sleep talking.

Does your partner, does your wife snore? Sleep talk? No, our daughter does. Oh, right. Wow. Quite a lot and quite aggressively. Always very aggressively too. What is she always yelling at people? Yeah, panicking and yelling and screaming at people.

One of my closest friends, Rachel, she used to be such a terrible sleepwalker. She'd get up. Once she got up in the bed, stood at the end of the bed and ran into the wall. Another time she woke up and she hopped into her flatmate's bed. They weren't there. Thank God. Does she have a partner now? No, she doesn't.

But she's had partners in the past and they've just gone like, what's happened? She woke up once and she'd moved the dresser in front of the door. Barricading herself in. Good, good, good, good, good. Would you kind of give yourself some kind of leash system? Yeah, some sort of tethering. You're tethering to the mattress. Where if you couldn't move, you'd wake yourself up and be like, oh, well, okay.

Leash? Good night, babe. Click him a leash. Tie him down by the ankles. Or you just have a wire to the toilet that you can go to the toilet and back. Like a goat. When a goat can walk up and down a... There you go.

This is no good. A snorer will be the worst. 78% of people, so nearly 80% of people said that sleep compatibility is really important to them when it comes to relationship. People on average last 90 minutes in bed with a snorer before kicking them out or moving themselves.

Does it mention anything about couples that do the separate beds? Yes, it does. Because a lot of couples do that and they absolutely swear by it. 56% of those said they would prefer to sleep separately. So not that they do, but that they would prefer it. 56% of those said they would prefer to sleep separately. So not that they do, but that they would prefer it. Because some people do that and it saves their relationship. Because they get a good night's sleep. They might jump in for cuddles

on occasion. Pre-bed and then say, alright, goodnight, I'm off to my bed now. Yeah, they're calling it the sleep divorce. So you love everything about them, but the way they sleep, absolutely. Because a bad night's sleep ruins your day, ruins your life. So they call them sleep divorces.

So at nighttime, you have your nice cuddles or whatever you want to do before you go to bed. And then you go to your separate rooms. Wow. Well, the old saying, win the morning, win the day. You can't win the morning if you haven't had a good night's sleep. So technically, it's win the night, win the day you can't win the morning if you haven't had a good night's sleep so technically it's win the night win the day yeah and you can't get a good night's sleep unless you've you know had some sort of activity during the day to make you quite make you tired yeah and you you know and so really the saying is win the day win the day win the day win the day sure that they so three

quarters of uh respondents said they have had to adjust their sleeping habits to accommodate their partners so whether that's like you know for example now i'm going to bed really early and respondents said they've had to adjust their sleeping habits to accommodate their partners. So whether that's like, you know, for example, now I'm going to bed really early and getting up very early so Aaron's just adjusted to my schedule. So that's to bed early too? Yeah, yeah. Rather than him staying up late and then coming to bed and waking me up and like

feeling the wrath of my loins, you know? Because I live in the city, I've always sworn by earplugs. The silicon. I love them. I live in the city. I've always sworn by earplugs. The silicon. I love them. I need to hear the room. I need the atmosphere.

No, I'm addicted. It's insanely noisy at your house. Yeah. Bottles being tipped in things. It's what's in the city. The siren Kings. Oh yeah.

You get used to it though. But yeah, I love it. I can't even sleep now when I travel. If I say I was in a hotel or something, I'd use them yeah just love a peaceful night's sleep i can't i've got to listen to the room i need a little bit of like white noise i'm like a baby we've got the fan on even when it's freezing cold are you a fan all the time just for the noise all night well we want to take your calls now 0800 dials at m96. Are you and your partner sleep incompatible?

Yeah, maybe you have separate beds. Maybe you've got separate beds. Maybe they snore and you've got, have you ever heard of the trick of sewing a ball to the back of their T-shirt so that when they roll over onto their back, they're like, ow, and then go back on their side. And then go back on their side, yeah.

I've heard about that. All right, well, if you and your partner are- It's always so embarrassing. Like, pop your T-shirt on, babe. Go to sleep. Pop your sleepy T on. Have a ball tea. All right, well, if you and your partner are... It's always so embarrassing. Like, pop your T-shirt on, babe. Go to sleep. Pop your sleepy T on. Have a ball of tea. All right, 0800-DARLS-AT-M.

You can text her 9696. Are you and your partner sleep incompatible? Give us a call. Looking into sleep compatibility, a survey showed some pretty bad stats on how we sleep. 75% of people have had to adjust their sleeping habits to accommodate their partners. Yeah. And people only last 90 minutes before

kicking them out of the bed. So whether that's snoring, blanket hogging, flailers, flailers, talkers, walkers, starfish, hot bodies next to cold bodies, you name it. Yeah, we want to know from you this morning if you and your partner are sleep incompatible.

Emma, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. Now, do you last more than... You sound tired, Emma. Rough night's sleep, was it, mate? No, I have two children under four, so it's always a little bit tiring at the moment. Your husband doesn't, or your partner doesn't seem like the bad guy now, do they? No, he's not the bad guy. So what's your sleep compatibility like? So my husband loves to cuddle and snuggle to sleep, whereas I am, I know, it's very sweet, but I'm more, I need my space, and I'm the turnover, need my bubble, my ear plugs in.

Yeah, I'm the same. Aaron would love a spoon all night. Really? No. It's so hot. The arm goes dead under the pillow. I know. Yeah, the arm bed situation, I don't understand that.

Why do you want that? Where do you put the spare arm? See, a pre-bed, a pre-sleeping cuddle is fine, but break away. Break away. Break away for the sleep. What about a mid-morning? Would you permit a mid-morning, it's cold, let's have a cuddle is fine, but break away. Break away. Break away for the sleep. What about a mid-morning? Would you permit a mid-morning, it's cold, let's have a cuddle? I'm more the jump out of bed at the alarm sort of girl,

and then he sleeps through about 10 alarms. He's a dilly-dally, a riser. Not quite the same compatibility there either. Okay, but you make it work. You make it work. You do. I do, yeah. I always do give him the

little snuggle before we go to sleep and then I'm just going to roll over now and put my earplugs on. I'm always trying to find... He'll sometimes just like put an arm out just to like touch my back. I'm like, yeah, still there. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. Get off me.

Yep. Emma, thanks for your call. Lana, good morning. Morning, Kate. You and your is Emma. Thanks for your call. Lana, good morning. Good morning, Kate. You and your partner don't sleep too well together? No, he's a blanket hogger. Oh. And you wake up shivering? I do tend to wake up shivering.

But also when I go back to bed after feeding the baby, there's no blanket for me. He's like cooned himself in the blanket. Now, Lana, like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's it, but he just like, you know how you tuck a kid in and you tuck it under me?

Yeah, he does that to himself. He burritos himself. If you've ever stayed in a European hotel, they will quite often in a double bed do two duvets. That's what we do now. Yeah. All of us are bloody Uncle Moneybags over here with the European hotel. No, that's how they do it. What's the aesthetics of the bed now when you've got two duvets on it?

I mean, during the day when I make it, it's just like one on top of the other. But then it's like a really warm mink for him. And then I just have a duvet. He sleeps under a mink. Hide the mink under the duvet. Sweaty. That's his.

Very sweaty. Lana, thanks. You call some messages in. Kylie says, 100% incompatible. Oh, no, that's not good percentages. Write him off. He's an early riser and I'm a night owl. I'm always cold and love blankets and he's always hot and kicking them off.

Again, the Europeans have nailed this. Two duvets. Two different fitness duvets. Temperature. I see someone needs to invent a duvet that is half winter, half summer. Again, there's your two duvet solution. But maybe she doesn't want two duvets. No matter how big the bed is, I always sleep on the edge,

and he sleeps diagonally. And he ends up on my pillow with me. So she's on the edge, and he's got her head pinned there with his head. Em says, I'm always freezing. Like so freezing I sleep with an electric blanket in summer freezing.

Jeepers. What? You need to get your blood flow checked. Yeah, are you a lizard? Maybe shut the windows too. Is it a text from a lizard? Is it?

It might be a lizard. She might be a lizard. And he's always too hot. Well, he's a mammal. He's a mammal. You're a lizard. Mammal and a lizard. That's's always too hot. Okay. He's a mammal. He's a mammal. You're a lizard. Mammal and a lizard. That's why mammals and lizards can't be in a relationship together

unless the lizard is primarily using the mammal as a warmth source to digest the food. She's got the extra blanket, so she doesn't need it. He needs two pillows. If he drops one on the floor in the middle of the night, he'll just literally yank mine from under me. Oh, my God. What an inconsiderate a-hole. No.

What an a-hole. Could you Velcro his pillow down? Like sew some Velcro into the top sheet? Why not put two pillows into one large pillow cover? Imagine the sound. I'm just trying to think of some options here. Tanika says I have a top sheet. He hates a top sheet.

I have to have a top sheet. I have to have a top sheet. I have to have a top sheet. People that say top sheets are done. No, no, no, no, no. You've got I have a top sheet. He hates a top sheet. I have to have a top sheet. I have to have a top sheet. I have to have a top sheet. People that say top sheets are done, no, no, no, no, no. You've got to have a top sheet. In summer we go, Sam's top sheet. No, but it's there.

Summer we're only top sheet. Yeah. But winter I'm all about them sheets. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about a colour called Mountbatten Pink Mountbatten Pink Mountbatten, isn't that something to do with the Queen? Mountbatten Windsor

Yes, you got it Prince Philip was Mountbatten And that's how the name got introduced to the Windsors Okay You know how bloody incestuous all the European royal families are? Yeah. This guy, Lord Mountbatten, that the Lord Mountbatten Pink is named after, his sister was Prince Philip's mother.

So he is the uncle of Prince Philip. Right. And thus the queen. The queen's uncle by marriage. I have just googled Lord Mountbatten Pink. Yes. It's like a dark pink. Like you would almost say it's going towards a lavender. Oh, it's a dirty pink. A dirty pink. It's described as a, what was it? A grey mauve? Yeah, mauve.

A grey mauve. Oh, mauve. Mauve. A grey mauve. Oh, I don't hate it. You don't hate it? Okay, so what would you imagine that pink would be good for? Nothing. Sort of like a bedroom with some sort of green tones in there. Oh, yeah. I could imagine someone doing a bedroom in a cottage.

A feature wall. Yes. Or even I could imagine a boomer painting a cottage this colour. Oh, and being like, we live in a quirky house a cottage. A feature wall. Or even, I could imagine a boomer painting a cottage this colour. Oh, and being like, we live in a quirky house. You aren't quirky, you've got quirky. Come and see our little Mountbatten pink cottage. I may spoil, I may have, because I've Googled this, and there are a lot of warships and planes in Mountbatten pink.

Mountbatten is one of the first camouflage colors. Shame. Yeah. The reason being it disguised itself in sun up and sun down. Dusk and dawn. Dusk and dawn. Dusk and dawn. Planes flying close to the horizon and dusk and dawn would be completely lost to the colors.

Right. If they were Mountbatten pink, it was hard to distinguish whereabouts it was amongst all the vibrant pinks and oranges and purples of sunset and sun up. But the ships, so once the sun's up, though, you're still in a pink submarine now. Correctamando, yes. And then you're as bright as daylight. You also hoped not to come across people during the day. If you were going to, you know, you'd go overnight is when you do a lot of your moving. Right. So under the cover of darkness and war times anyway.

And the same with planes. Planes always took off at sun up and landed at sun down, all going to plan. So it would be harder to see them if they flew close to the horizon, low to the ground. Pictures here, there aren't, like, there's a lot of old war planes from like World War II era. Oh, yeah, they don't do it anymore. No, but there's even some fighter jets that are this

colour. Yes. Like modern fighter jets, but I don't know if they've painted them after they've been used in service or not. Perhaps. Perhaps as an homage. Wow. Imagine being a soldier and having to get into that plane and all the rest of the military, off he goes in his little pink little jet. Yeah, little pink plane.

Enjoy your flying, Penelope Pitstop. The colour was met with anecdotal success. It was judged by experts to be the equivalent of neutral greys at best, which of course are what modern ships and planes are painted as, and would make ships with the colour more obvious at worse. Right. But, you know, the ships that were painted this colour had some stories of success, although they don't know whether or not they had too much to do with the colour versus the extremely skilled crew on board that would have led them to military success anyway.

So, yeah, have a little Google of Mount Batten Pink and see if it's for you. Maybe you've got a quirky little cottage that needs a colour. Yeah. You want to stand out, you know. Find out on the... We're just a quirky family. On the Rosene colour chart?

Well, I believe on the Rosene colour chart, somewhere between Misty Rose... Oh, no. Misty Rose and Old Rose. Oh, okay. If that means anything to anybody who knows anything about the colour pink So today's fact of the day is there's a pink for camouflage Named after Prince Philip's family

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Thought I'd try up the octave today. Yeah, that was horrible. Harmonised it. Okay. Some hot reviews in immediately. Do you prefer to have a work uniform? Have a uniform or wear our own clothes? Those are the two options.

This is like the whole school uniform or mufti debate, isn't it? School uniform every time. Absolutely. Because you're not going to get teased. And you're going to have to think about it every morning. Yeah, exactly. Put it on. You know what the deal's going to be.

Especially as a goth. Like, I couldn't keep up with washing all my petticoats. You know? Well, do you have to do those in a delicate's bag? Absolute delicate. Lots of lace could you imagine lots of lace getting hooked if you were at school as a goth well i was and i had to try to like gothify my uniform so i used to get like um pantyhose and make gloves and wear them

under my uniform but were you allowed no no no no no so if you saw anyone you'd put your sleeves you pull your cardigan sleeves down. Oh, my God. And I had a dog collar on underneath my very poncy uniform. An actual dog collar? An actual from the pet store dog collar. I'd be so sad if my daughters were a dog collar one day. My mum, I think my mum thought it was such a laugh. She used to love going out with me.

Like, round the mall, she'd be like, look at this bloody idiot. Look what I've got. Look what I've got. what I've got She's a silly fool Well a work uniform It is pretty bloody close Wear your own clothes 51%

Have a uniform 49% Yeah I mean There's some places You don't get a choice Like if you worked at At Macca's EG

Show sponsor You're in the uniform It would look weird If you went to like Any fast food place Anywhere where you need to be at Macca's EG, show sponsor. You're in the uniform. It would look weird if you went to any fast food place. Anywhere where you need to identify the staff. But then I don't need to identify... Security company, for example. Yeah, that's true. But at a fast food restaurant, I don't need to identify the staff.

Yes, you do. Or you'll just be ordering off Steve and he's just ordered. No. I don't bloody work here. Steve's not behind the counter. But Steve might be wearing a headset because he's a real estate agent and you assume he's on drive-thru. Exactly.

So you're like, g'day, Steve. Two chicken nuggies, a quarter pounder. I meant two packs of chicken nuggies. Two single chicken nuggets. Two single chicken nuggets, please, Steve. A quarter pounder and a McFlurry. And Steve's like, I'm sorry I don't work here, but I can tell you that the machine's broken. So there's not going to be a McFlurry. Yeah. And Steve's like, I'm sorry, I don't work here. But I can tell you that the machine's broken.

So there's not going to be a McFlurry. I do it all the time in retail. And I'll go up to like a fashionable looking woman in a store and I'm like, do you have this in a size 10? She's like, couldn't tell you, hon. I don't work here. I don't work here. Never wear a red shirt to the warehouse.

Oh, no, never. Never. Oh, my God. Or a red shirt to the warehouse. Or at Bunnings A green shirt to Bunnings Polos and hivers Oh I went in there

Once in my green apron And In my cooking apron Oh my god you've got So many questions It took me ages To get out of this Where's the flat head screws

Yeah I don't know Isle 7 Just say it with confidence Isle 7 out the back They know Isn't that a They always know

You can ask somebody At one end of Mitre 10 where something is, and you know you're in the wrong place, and they'll say halfway down in aisle 42 above the something else. I once asked somebody in Mitre 10 in aisle 7 where the screws were in Bunnings, and they knew. They knew there too. They'd studied outside of their own jurisdiction.

They knew both. Is there a degree? Do they set a degree before they work there? They do, yeah. Very much a map reader. So some of the comments on this. Hayley says, Uniform, otherwise I'd spend too much money on work clothes

when I could spend it on active wear and vodka. Great. These are a few of my favourite things. Do you ever have to pay for your own uniform at a workplace? I don't think so. Surely not. No. Surely not.

Maybe if you ruin the stuff. Yeah, maybe you get a certain allocated amount of uniform per year. Yeah. Alicia writes. Alicia? Well, it's A-L-I-C-I-A. Alicia. Alicia.

Alicia. She might be an Alicia or she might be an Alicia. Okay. I think probably Alicia. Well, we all called Alicia Silverstone, Alicia Silverstone through the 90s. And then when she was no longer relevant, she told us that her name was Alicia. So, you know, we've got to learn. She should have spoken up earlier, to be fair.

Raise your voice, please. My role has been wearing my own clothes, but I would much prefer not to have to think about what I was going to wear to work each day. Uniforms are supplied at other roles in the company, but I have to pay for my own clothing. How's that fair? Hmm. My lazy ass prefers a uniform, says Tash.

She builds Bro, who I follow. This is a female builder out of Queenstown. Oh, okay. You know how taxing it is to have to try and pick out an outfit five days a week? A uniform means one less thing to think about on a busy work day. Yeah, that's true. Agree with that.

I effing hate having to buy my own clothes for work that I will hardly wear outside of work, says Grace. Oh. Give me my money back so I can spend it on clothes that I actually want, and I would happily wear a uniform. And Georgia says,

I have a uniform because then we all look the same, so there's no judging, and also I don't have the pressure of thinking of what to wear and what would look good. And there's your school uniform argument. Yeah, it is. Being dragged into the workplace. Removing the bullying ability.

Yeah. Yeah, because you're still going to judge, right? Absolutely. Your face, your figure, everything else. Like if you worked at Unicam and it was mufti and Shirley comes in and you're like, oh my God, Shirley, that pattern is so gross, you old bitch. And then you've got

fisticuffs. Go on Unicam and do a toxic work environment. You've got fisticuffs by the talcum powder. Wow, you do. Unbelievable. Shirley's not going to take that lying down. No, she lived through the 80s. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There is a new reality TV show

coming to TVNZ that's called Snackmasters NZ. It follows top chefs as they try to replicate iconic Kiwi snacks. Think your toffee pops, your licorice, all sorts. And it's hosted, I know, it is hosted by none other than Tom Sainsbury and Kimmy Crossman, who joins us on the phone now. Hi, Kim.

Oh, hi, Hayley, I love you I love you Let's cut this nonsense Yeah, we might, if you wouldn't mind guys Could we just hop into a private line Zoom, you want a breakout room? Yeah, can we have a breakout room on the call? Just before you go to the breakout room, why did you bother

with licorice all sorts? The yuckest lolly there is. Licorice. You know what? They were the bottom of my list of the snacks. And tell you what, you eat enough of them, they grow on you. Yeah, they do. But eat enough of them, you'll also cack your pants.

That's a licorice-y issue. It's actually, well, New Zealand's one of the only countries that actually has different flavoured ones. But most other countries, which I didn't know, fun actually, well, New Zealand's one of the only countries that actually has different flavoured ones. Most other countries, which I didn't know, fun fact guys, we have, yeah, different flavoured ones where other countries are just colouring them different. Yeah, they're all the same. And the Dutch just roll their licorice around in bloody salt. Oh, damn. So Kim, you're hosting this with Tom Sainsbury. You guys must have had so much fun.

Basically, like two lovely people hanging out with a bunch of chefs eating delicious food. It's a job. Well, I know, right? It was a dream job. Tom is obviously hilarious. We just spent our day cackling and misbehaving. And I got paid. So, yeah, definitely a big tick in that column.

Right. How many snacks did you have to eat? How much of this food did you end up eating? I think my, at most, one day I ate seven Big Macs. So that was a lot. Oh, my God. That was a lot. And, funnily enough, they looked better on camera cold, according.

So they weren't even warm. Oh, wow. It was a lot. But you know what? I thought maybe that I would have enough of St. Max after that. And no. No. Still hurting about seven a day.

You can still eat them, yeah. Is Tom Sainsbury's still a vegan? Yeah, so I had to eat all the food. So Tom just gallivants around. Oh, my gosh. He, in fairness, we did make sure in the toffee pop episode that he just went full noise on toffee pop.

Oh yeah. Well, I learned this because, of course, I host the Bake Off and I learned this as well. And you'll learn this for next season, Kim. Season one, you always go full. You always fully eat everything. Season two, you always fully like eat everything. Season two, you'll never do it again.

Really? I don't know, but the thing was is like when these chefs would make mistakes, it was quite nice to like almost taste the departure from,

like I liked that I kind of got to be part of the evolution. So yeah, but the thing with Snackmasters is I'd be like, well, I want to see

how close this is to a Big Mac. So I'd want to taste all of them. Exactly. And that was my role in the show. I was that way off. Let me try it again. Can we add this to your long list of things that you do?

Actor, comedian, writer, podcaster, author, eater? Yes. Please do. Yes. Did you have a... For someone who's quite small in stature, I can hoe down quite a hefty amount of food. A great example is that you're talking to the wrong three people.

We don't like to hear that. We can eat, but we've probably also got the stature that indicates we like to eat. Did you have a highlight that you can tell us without giving too much away? Like, what was the best thing that you ate? Ooh, I can't... Well, actually, probably what was the best thing that you ate oh um I can't well actually probably one of the best things that I ate was actually that um some of the chefs not

all of them some of them kind of made us lunch and things while we were hanging around oh that doesn't count though the off-camera goodness but in terms of the snacks, I reckon I've eaten enough chips and dip because that's very Moorish. That was a very easy snack to just continue to eat and try. Yeah. So I think I've probably, in terms of capacity, that's what I ate the most of and was just yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, give me more.

Even in that cook-off, we just couldn't help ourselves. So you're telling me one of the apps, chefs have to recreate chips and also the classic kiwi onion dip from scratch without just using a... Like a crinkle cut or like a kettle fry. Oh, let me tell you, you are sniffing around. Comedy infused ice cream. Wow, I'm excited to see this. I'm really excited.

Mm-hmm. Good. Great. Thanks, guys. If everyone could tune in, then it guarantees me some employment and more eating for season two. So that would be great.

You can get a season two, more eating. Yeah. Well, Kimmy, thank you so much for joining us and you can watch Snackmasters. It's tonight, 7.30 on TVNZ2. Kim Crossman thank you so much. Thanks guys, love you. Love you, bye, love you.