ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th February 2023

Episode Date: February 19, 2023

Don't Sleep Nude  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Vaughan  Hayleys Scam  Vaughan vs Tree  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. You may notice I'm wearing an oversized shirt that I keep sort of tugging over the breasticles. It's because I can't wear a bra at the moment. Right, do you think podcast listeners will tell, can sense that?

I don't know if they can hear. Feminine freedom. Yeah, I'm not that person. I like wearing a something. Not a full wired thing, but you've got to wear something. But no, I chafed my underboob so bad this weekend. Your underboof chafed. Underboof.

Underboof. The underboof has been chafed my underboob so bad this weekend. Your underboob chafed? Underboof? Underboof. The underboof has been chafed? Yes, the underboof. Right on to the boof. She got the robbing and the chafing and the boof. Look at these boofs. Look at these boofs and the chafed boofs. Yeah, my boofs, man.

Strap her back into Leidenhausen. She's got the chafed boofs. Yeah, no, you can'ts. Strap her back into Leidenhausen. She's got the chat boofs. Yeah, no, you can't have these boofs in a Leidenhausen. They're not up. My watch just told me I've got to be careful around this level of sound for more than 30 minutes. Your boofs! I could have temporary hearing loss.

Maybe stop yelling then. We are being quite loud. Yeah, I marched all weekend and I had my sports bra on and I'm still wearing sports bras from about two sizes down. Oh, okay. And I just had it on and I was marching along and you sort of, when you swing, I guess, you sort of create a bit of chafe and I was like, ow!

So my sweat started stinging on this thing and now I've got this big, red, raw, scabby-ass line under the balls. So chafing. Your butthole was chafing last time. No, my butt cheeks. Your butt cheeks. Against the hole though.

Yeah. Close to the hole. No, no, like at the point where they connect. Last week you were on Patriot Brands and there was a part about the 3B ad. To suffer and cry the whole day through. Which is like this legendary New Zealand ad when you're a 12-year-old boy and those boobies are on TV.

You're like, I feel funny. And so last week on TV, I grabbed my boofs and I rotated them as I was trying to describe to a Brit the ad. Yeah. And then... But then now you've got chafing. It feels like, you know,

the universe is writing the story here. You need to get some of this cream. I could be a 3B ambassador because you'll hear on the podcast I'm trying to be an ambassador of something else, but maybe 3B is more within my wheelhouse. This is probably more likely for you to be an ambassador as well. I'm a chafing queen. Do you know what we were doing?

You'll hear about this in the podcast, a bit of yard work over the weekend. At the end of the day, Sade took off her sports bra and she's like, go, get that thing off. And then she put on a loose fitting singlet She had side boob going on Yeah I was like let's get some more of that

Yeah Respectfully Respectfully She's my wife Respectfully Well you're allowed to pervert your wife I think I'm allowed to pervert my wife Are you allowed to

Maybe jot that down though In the HR notebook Jesus HR notebook's getting choked Jot that down Jot that down Yeah I'm also jotting down

That we need a new notebook Because it's filling up quite fast It's full Yeah Jot that down Jot that down Yeah I'm also jotting down That we need a new notebook Because it's filling up Quite fast Yeah Jot down notebook And the other notebook You had a moment At the weekend too

Where something for the HR notebook Didn't you Yeah I did Someone came up to me And said watch out I've got wandering hands And I went Really

Is this This wouldn't have been In a middle aged white man By any chance would it Quite well off Yeah Yeah Wow Never really suffered Consequences of any of his actions This wouldn't have been in a middle-aged white man by any chance, would it? Quite well off. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Never really suffered consequences of any of his actions. No, no, no. But when he is slightly out of place, he'll whinge and moan. Yeah. Unbelievable that he would say he's got wandering hands. Oh, you should have heard what he said about Maoris. What? I was like, what?

As a Maori woman who doesn't lookori, I was like, keep going. Let's see how far he goes with this. But yeah, Mr. Grabby Hands. Good fun. You wouldn't want to grab them now. They're absolutely scabbed to pieces. You should have said, yeah, go on. See what you get.

Good luck to you. I hope you're ready to have your hands covered in 3B Andy Chaplin. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. With a special birthday episode. Yay. Happy birthday, Vaughn.

Thank you. Hayley Sproul. How's it going so far? Happy birthday. Thank you, Carl Fletcher. I'm sore. I'm feeling all of my 41 years today. You're a bit bunged up.

Yeah. Got bashed around a bit at the weekend. Had to clean up after this bloody cyclone. A lot of hours on a chainsaw. I did a rough add up of how many hours I spent on a chainsaw last week. Yeah, right. 20. Wow.

20 hours on a chainsaw. Lots of chainsaw hours. Lots of how many hours i spent on a chainsaw last week yeah right 20. wow wow 20 hours on a chance to change for hours i can't believe how many people are stealing things oh like bastards like phone gen like the generators are using to power the phone yeah which by the way uh it turns out mostly have gps trackers in them so Who'd have thought? Who'd have thought? Who'd have thought someone might have popped a little ear... It's so easy to do a GPS tracker, pop a little ear tag in there nowadays. Well, yeah, exactly.

You don't need a lot of space. Nah. So, yeah, they've actually been able to find these generators pretty quick afterwards. I know, people are desperate. Oh, come on. Jeez Louise. Yeah.

Selfish. Yes. S on. Yeah. Selfish. Yes. Silly. Yes. Naughty. Yes. Spankable. Yes.

They should pull your pants down and smack your ass in front of the... Public spanking? Have a town meeting. Have public spankings. Put them in the stocks. Yeah. And you can either watch people throw tomatoes at the front of them or you pull their pants down and smack their bums. Anyone has to laugh. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. I can see your bum. Yeah. And you can either watch people throw tomatoes at the front of them or you pull their pants down and smack their bums.

Anyone has to laugh. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I can see your bum. Yeah. Ha, ha, smacks. Might actually work. Could do.

That's what's bloody wrong with these people. They didn't get enough of smacks as a child. Back before they banned smack in children, there was never any crime. Never any crime. And the youth have always been so respectful to the older generations. And then they banned smacking and it's bloody hell in a handbasket. I don't know if that's true. It's definitely not true.

Coming up on the show, the top six. Yes. Well, because it's Vaughan's birthday today and your love language is of course acts of service. We've written your top six for you. Fantastic. Because when you said that, I was like, I don't know. I saw a little panic in the eyes.

It wasn't panic. It was just a realisation. A dawning, if you will. So what will the top six be today? It's the top six cool things about Vaughan as written by his ZDM pals. Yay. Okay.

There's six of us. Is there? Yeah. God, this is very self-indulgent. I can't wait for my birthday, which is gifts of cash. Yeah. Is my love language. Your love language is gifts.

Yeah, just gifts. Gifts of cash. Gifts of vouchers. Just remember that when it's June the 23rd. That's what we do. Okay, yeah, great. We do things for Vaughan, we say things to Hayley, and we give things to Fletch.

Next on the show. There is a woman who has spent an exorbitant amount of money doing something that actually I might do myself if I have to keep on waiting. Okay. All will be revealed. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Now it's wedding season. What a season it's been. Yeah. I wonder how many weddings bloody, you know, copped in the storm. Stressful. Oh, so many would have been cancelled. That's prime wedding dates right there. Because everyone thinks January's still too dodgy.

So we always think February is when you'll be a bit safer with the weather. Yeah. And then February this year was like, I'll show you dodgy. I'll show you dodgy. What's March got in store? Well, it's just around the corner. Anyway, a woman has given herself a self-wedding. Right.

Now, you might have seen these before when people marry themselves because they don't need no man. Yep. You know, and they want to make a public declaration of how much they don't need it. This woman's called Dani. Her day was a full day of catering, drinks, guests, bridesmaids, friends and family in attendance.

Wait, she did this in front of friends and family? Yeah, it wasn't like a private thing in the forest, you know, where you're like feeling yourself. No, no, she did like a full thing. It cost around $6,000, which is expensive. Yeah. I mean, not for a wedding, I suppose, but... For a one day of...

Silly, non-legal, you know, like it's not actually a legally binding thing yeah she said everyone was dismissing the dare as crazy and absolutely bonkers

and she was like no I really want to do this because I'm never going to give up myself right so I will never leave myself this is a

Shaun Street storyline years back now is it oh my god that's right. Yeah. Nicole married herself. It's embarrassing, eh?

Isn't she with someone now? She's seen with various people. It's Sally's character, and she was hooking up with Ben Barrington. Right. The other week when we flicked over And my daughter said You know Her A I was like yeah And she said Is it weird watching a hook up

With a guy that looks like you I was like It wasn't But now it is Now I can't unsee that Yeah Yeah because her character Has a bit of column A

Column B Doesn't she Bit of column A Bit of column B Yeah yeah yeah Bit of column self Bit of column self Because I wonder

If you married yourself If you would... I'd be angry at myself for playing with myself so much. Same. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. That's affecting our love life. Unless you don't need me.

You've got yourself. You've got yourself. Yes, I do have myself. Yeah. We're one person. Okay, it's hard to... How did I marry you then? I don't know where to argue.

What's your tone? What's your tone there? How dare you speak to me in such a manner? Oh, I wasn't grumpy, but now I am because of the way you're speaking to argue. What's your tone? What's your tone there? How dare you speak to me in such a manner? Oh, I wasn't grumpy, but now I am because of the way you're speaking to me. I wonder if you then met someone, would you have to divorce yourself? You would have to, surely. But do you think that she does it, like, seriously, to stop people asking her, like, when are you settling down,

when are you meeting a man? Like, would this just stop all of that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. She just said that it was a chance for her to start over again and prioritise herself by marrying herself. Then she said there's no such thing as overdoing celebrating yourself. I don't think you could have an I rule party.

Imagine if you did something and you were just there, I don't know, because this just feels like she was having a bit of a downtime and she was like, I don't know, look at me or I didn't do this for me and then puts it on TikTok or whatever. That's how every news source gets their stories these days. Yes. And then all of a sudden. Are you calling journalists lazy?

Yes. Very. 90% of them. Yeah. Clickbait lazy journalists. In fact, the J word shouldn't even be associated to sharing clickbaitable material. Yeah. Clickbait lazy journalists. The J word should never be associated to sharing clickbaitable material. Yeah. But, and then you've got

the whole world judging you. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm going to do this to make myself feel better. And then the whole world judges you and you're like, I don't feel better. In fact, I feel worse. Don't read the comments. Never read the comments. Not at all. I wonder if she consummated it

At the end of the day You know you'd have to If you're going to do Everything properly She was in the woods End of the day Did you say the ceremony Was in the woods

She was in the woods Everybody sneak away For a little consummation In the woods Yeah up against a tree It's hot Buying a thick tree So you can just lean against it

And know I can see Yeah yeah yeah Thick tree thick tree Where's the bride She comes back here A little bit askew And everyone's like Oh hello I think I know Buying a thick tree so you can just lean against it. Yeah, thick tree, thick tree. Where's the bride? She comes back here a little bit askew. Oh, yeah, flush cheeks. I think I know what's happened with the married person couple thing. Yeah.

Couldn't wait, could you? Next, if you're just waking up and you're completely naked, I'll tell you why you shouldn't do it again tonight. Clay, Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Why you shouldn't be sleeping naked. I told you just before. You filthy heathens. Yeah.M's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, you shouldn't be sleeping naked. I told you just before. You filthy heathens. Yeah.

Yuck. You put on some clothes, you filthy. I'm a nude sleeper. You are a nude. And it's the best. You can't go back once you go nude sleeper. I tried it. I was thinking about trying it because I don't like getting all tangled up either. And I tried it.

I remember then the sheets fell off and the fan was blowing on me and I got a cold. I don't know if that's up either. And I tried it. Remember then the sheets fell off and the fan was blowing on me and I got a cold. I don't know if that's all. So I was all exposed. Right. So it's not for me. I'm back to a full button down. Good.

You know? Tight fitting. Tight fitting. Yeah. Like Jesus intended. You don't want to accidentally have the sleep sex. Oh my God. Right.

It's all slippery in there. You can't be doing it. You need layers. You'd be getting up against each other. No. So if you're two people and you both sleep nude in the bed, but under a sheet, the reason the scientists have said not to sleep nude is poop particles.

Oh, for God's sake. Oh, for God's sake. Too much farts. Farts. Farts. Farty farts in your sleep. Yeah, for God's sake. Oh, for God's sake. Too much. Farts. Farts. Farty farts in your sleep. Yeah, because I fart. If you're clothed, it kind of like absorbs a bit of the poop particles.

Right. So you wash your undies or whatever you're sleeping in. It's a bit like wearing a mask with COVID. Yeah. Yes. Keep it in. Versus just coughing into an enclosed space.

Right. Because your butt coughs. Yeah. You've got to mask them up. Yeah. With knickers. Yeah. Well, that's a little bit gross now you say that.

You fart and it just goes all into the sheets. So the sheets will be more full of farts. Right. I would have never thought about that. Ew, you're gross, Fletch. Oh, like. You've got a poo bed. I wash my sheets every weekend.

Yeah. So you've got seven days of poopies in there. We all fart. Even if you fart in undies or pyjamas, it's going to get out as well, isn't it? Oh, totally. When was the last time you shat the bed? I've never shat the bed. I've never shat the bed.

I've never shat the bed. Neither. I was going to say, no. That made me sound like I had. No, but I don't think I ever have. Even if I've been violently ill, I'll just lie on the floor of the shower. Yeah. Versus a shitty of the bed.

Yeah. I've only ever shat my pants once. Never the bed. Never the bed. Quit checking the producers. Anyone ever shat the bed. I've only ever shat my pants once. Never the bed. Never the bed. Quit checking the producers. Anyone ever shat the bed? As an adult. Jared's very quiet.

It's forgiven when you're a child. But I can't remember doing it as a child, but I'm almost certain I must have. I remember pooping in the bathtub. And it floats. Well, that depends how healthy you are. I remember my mum coming in and being like, Hayley, no.

I'd always pee in the bath, and then I'd do a poopy once. She's like, you're 14. She's like, you're 14. Grow up. And I was like, get out of here, mum. You're such a bitch. All the kids are doing it, mum. Yeah, this is cool, mum.

Go away. You don't even know. It's said in Dolly's sealed section that all the cool kids are pooping baths. I'm sorry, Stewie group. Jared, you were a bit delayed in responding to that. No, I've got buttons to push when you guys cross out here, so that's what I was doing. And plus you were panicking about coming up with an excuse

at the time you shat the bed. No, not since primary school, I reckon. Oh, so you have shat the bed. So he has. He has. Yeah. No, I don't Oh, so you have Shannon. So he has. He has. No, I don't think I ever did. Okay. Shannon Lett?

No, all good over here. Okay, good. Okay, all clear. All clear in the booth. There's a liar in our mix. There's an absolute rule. Statistically, someone here is an outcast. We'll find out who.

18 past six, next on the show, Silly Little Pole. How do you eat your nugs? One bite or two? I mean, just after talking about nugs, I don't think we dive in from pooing nugs to chicken nugs. Play it. CDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Do you want to do the silly little pole?

It's your birthday. I'll do silly little pole. Yep. Just making sure. If there's anything you want us to do for you, we'll do it. I'll do this. Okay. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I can't carry the show.

Silly little bowl. Chicken nuggets. One bite or two? Why did this pop into your head? Were you thinking about nuggets? Well, so the other day I was having nuggies. Yeah. And I always have a sweet and sour dipping sauce.

Always. And I'm always like dip. Bite. Bite. Dip. Finish. And it's two. You're a two rider.

But I was in a semi bit of a rush. Busy life, this guy. Busy life. I've got places to be. Zero obligations outside for three hours we spend here. No kids to raise, no other jobs. Nothing. No housework to do.

No yard work, nothing. I did not even have enough time to do two bites. Stretched for time. So stressful. So you thought you'd save yourself a couple of seconds over an entire box. I gobbed an entire nugget. I dipped it, a really heavy dip, and then I put the whole thing in my mouth. And I was like, I think that's the first time in my life that I have done a one-bite nug.

And I was like, who does this? Because you don't savour it as much. You know, like it goes further when you do one bite. Yeah, but technically you're getting 12 nuggets. And then savouring a chicken nugget. You're getting the same amount of nug, right? No, no, but it feels like 12. It does.

It feels like 12 instead of 6. It feels like 12, not 6. So I was wondering who actually does a one-bite nuggie because surely everybody's at least two. I do a one-bite nuggie. I don't have nuggies that often, but I'll do a one-bite nuggie. Oh, yeah, I want nuggies. Okay.

I'll throw them in. There's one shape that's a little bit harder to... I like the foot. The boot one's the best. Is it the boot? But that's the harder one to one-bite. No, it's the easier one to dip. Yeah, but...

And then you can bite it in half. Well, you don't want to get caught on the back of your throat. You don't want to choke on nuggy. You don't want to be taken down by a nuggy. 85% of respondents to our poll said that they take a nuggy in two. 15% said, oh, I'll one a nuggy. That's 15% higher for a one bite nug than I imagined. Now we need the show sponsor to send us some nugs.

Yeah, can we? Do the right thing, show sponsor? Non-alts. Nuggies please. Nuggies please, non-alts. Claire McNuggets says actually the correct way to eat a nugget is to carefully nibble off all the coating and then dunk the meat in the sauce and devour it in one go. No!

This is not a crunchy bar. I've heard of people that do this. Nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble, dunk the meat. I don't want to see the meat not a crunchy bar. I've heard of people that do this. Nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble. Dunk the meat. Just the meat? I don't want to see the meat of a nugget. No. I think the coating of it is a crucial element to it. The coating and the meat.

Also, by the time you do that, they'll be cold, right? Like, just eat it. The meat will be cold. Hannah says I have. What's her last name? Hannah McDippingsource says I have a child-sized mouth? Hannah McDipping Sauce says I have a child-sized mouth so it's at least

two bites. Oh, nibble, nibble, nibble. Child-sized mouth. Rhiannon Sweet and Sour Sauce says 99% of the time I'm a nuggie and driving.

I don't have time to hold it so it all goes in one bite. Oh, right, okay. Do they have a little dipping sauce tray do you think somewhere? I want one of those so one bite. Oh, right, okay. Do they have a little dipping sauce tray, do you think, somewhere? I want one of those so bad.

You can buy one, yeah. You can buy the ones that clip onto the air vent, and it sits in a nuggy sauce. Because I'll drive. It holds, it's the perfect size for it. Yeah, someone's made one. A non-old's nuggy sauce. A non-old's nuggies.

Yeah. I drive, and I'll have, like, one sort of hooked there, and it's terrible. It'll be tipping all over the wheel. What if you turn a corner, your sauce goes up? It goes upside down. It needs to spin. So when you turn, it always stays up the right way.

Yeah. Stacey Nonalds says, one bite because they are so gross inside, I don't want to see what I'm actually eating. No. I love a little nuggy mints. A little nuggy mints. Yeah. Num, num, num. Um, Boss Girl says you'll

choke if you have it in one. Don't tell me what to do, Boss Girl. You're not my mum. You don't swallow it. You still chew. Yeah, no, you still chew. You don't just like I assume Boss Girl bites once and it's to put the food into swallow-sized portions. Yeah, okay. Amy Rose

McBootShape says two bites equals more time to enjoy the nugget. Yeah, she's right. Yes, 12 nuggets for the price of sex. Corita

says No, we're going to need a last name. Corina Corina Sweden Sound Sauce Oh, we're going to need a last name. Karina Sweet and Sour Sauce. Oh, is she related to the other Sweet and Sour Sauce? No, that was Sweet and... Oh. No, this is...

Sorry, this is Karina Barbecue Dipping. Oh, of course it is. Yeah, yeah. What's the other dipping sauces? They're irrelevant. They're irrelevant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Karina Barbecue Sauce says it's always in two bites primarily for the dipping sauce. Yes. Because if you only dip it once per nugget, you're going to have sauce left over. When you get to that 12th half, you're really lucky to have any sauce left. Scraping. You're really scraping. Yeah. Limited edition Jessica Szechuan Dipping Sauce says,

I actually bite it in three for maximum sauce to nugget ratio. I think you run out of sauce by that last nug. And I don't have the self-control. She might be a light dipper. She might be a light dipper. She might be a light dipper. She might be a light dipper. Life's too short to dip light.

I've been out eating with people and they'll... Josh Thompson and I were eating a meal once and there was a bread and a dipper for the bread. Yeah. And he wanted to speak to the person in charge because he believed their ratios were all out and then showed them the correct ratio. Right.

And they were just, like, impressed with this. And anyway, we had a perfect ratio. The guy knows his ratios. Yeah. And I'd love to know if that restaurant still was carrying the Josh Thompson ratio versus their pre-ordained ratio.

Right. Was it more though? It was more dipping. More dip. Right. We had too much bread for the dip.

Oh yeah, I hate when that happens. Yeah. It's like when you get like guacamole or you know, chips. Yeah.

And there's not enough nacho chips for the guac. Yeah. You run out. Because I go heavy on a guac. Yeah. But you'll always run nacho chips for the guac. Yeah. You run out. Because I go heavy on a guac. Yeah. But you'll always run out of chips and you get to the part where the chips

are no longer stable enough to carry the guac. Anyway, this is the world that we live in. Don't be afraid to mention a bad ratio, should you see it. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. A bad ratio, should you see it. Let's talk about dreams, baby. Let's talk about dreams, baby. So there was a dreams expert called Inbal Honigman.

Okay. Who has broken down the most common dreams that we would have about work and told us what they might mean. So, dreaming about being late for work? Have you had this dream? I don't think I really dream about work that much. You guys sort of switch off, don't you? Do you have a lot of work dreams? Yeah, lots.

I used to have lots of, they call them actor's nightmares, like where you would find yourself on stage and you wouldn't know what the play was and you didn't see a script and you didn't know the lines and suddenly everyone's looking at you and you're like, where, how art thou? The king doth

arrive. And would you have those dreams because you were stressing about a work project or something that you were doing? Yeah, I suppose so. But this guy's sort of broken down what they might mean. So if you're dreaming of being late for work, that's one of the most common work-related dreams. It's an anxiety dream. People often experience this dream when they don't feel good enough at their job. No matter how much effort they put in, they still can't fulfill the minimum expected standard. You can't even turn up on time.

Yeah, right. You suck. Dreaming about getting into trouble at work, getting told off. This is the second most popular work dream. It's a way to vent your anger about how things are handled in the workplace. So maybe you're feeling like something's wrong and in the dream you're getting told off for it.

So in the dream you often say awful stuff to the boss. The boss says awful stuff to you. Your brain is trying to play out the argument, which you could have in your dream, but you wouldn't do that in real life. You wouldn't say, this is what I think of you, Ross Boss. Yeah, right. For example, you big tall goof. I can't believe I just said that.

Wow. Oh, my God. But it was in your dream. I'm just quoting a dream. I can't believe you used the G word. I know, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God.

I hope he's not listening. You've got to watch it. That's also in the BSA's top 10 words. Yeah, it is. Just under F and C. Yeah, goof. Then it's G. Yeah.

F word, C word, MF. MF. And then G. Goof. Yeah. I've got to stop saying it. Dreaming about a promotion at work? This is less of a nightmare, I guess.

It could be a prophetic dream, they say. Like you really want that promotion. You really want it. Your subconscious has picked up on positive signals that you're doing very well at your tasks and that maybe promotions have been talked about at work and it's time for you to have one. Do you ever dream that you're in a band playing an instrument

and you've got no idea how to play it and you've just kind of been shoved out onto the stage to play it? That's an actor's nightmare. Right. Same thing. Like you are put into a high-pressure situation and you don't know what to do. You've got no idea.

You have not been brief. Yeah. And then you look down and it's the bass guitar and you're like, well, it's the easier of the guitars, isn't it? The bass guitar. Less strings. Wow. Sorry to our bassists.

Wow. To our bassist listeners. Bassists don't listen to this station. No. They can't keep up with the quick witty banter. Yeah, they can't. Dong, dong, bing, bong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dong, dong, b they're all like... We're too rat-a-tat-tat. Yeah, we're like...

We're more lead guitar. Yeah, we're the lead guitar of stations. We truly are. You want to dumb it down if you're a bass player. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a break. Okay, dreaming about going to work was... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pong, pong, pong. Thanks. Pong, pong, pong. Give me a break. Okay, dreaming about going to work without pants on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've definitely had this before where I think I've been talking to someone and then just really, like, noticed I was nude. Slowly. Just think now, like, the feeling of having no pants on. Yeah, yeah. And then you look down and you're like, I'm sure I had pants on before. Hang on a second.

Yeah. So what does that mean if you're dreaming of no pants? Yeah. It's a very common dream. Many people dream about having no pants on. It's ranked fifth as the most common work-related dreams. It's often a way for your brain to express how frightening your work situation is. Right.

So subconsciously you're going, you're scared of something at work, like it's something you're terrified of. And this is expressing that because how terrible would this be? Also, you probably need a break from work, it means. Well, I think if you turn up to work with no pants on, you'll get a break from work.

Yeah. Forced, probably. You might need a couple of weeks just to... Let's go romantic dreams about work, because you've had this before, haven't you, Fletch? No, I definitely haven't. About me. No, I definitely haven't.

In the forest. Are you sure? That was your self-wedding. Oh. Yeah. I'm sure you've told me about it. You were consummating the... Big, sexy dream you've had

about me. Well, you might think that this shows subconscious urges to get in the forest with your workmate. These dreams actually might suggest that you're very comfortable in your job. Right. So comfortable that you've shagged your workmate. Right, okay.

If your dream is a little more passionate, perhaps up against a tree in the forest, then it could show that you're a little bored at work and you need to spice your work, mate. Right, okay. If your dream is a little more passionate, perhaps up against a tree in the forest, then it could show that you're a little bored at work and you need to spice up your working day. Right, okay. Spice things up a bit. Right. That's gone from nothing to 100 like that, hasn't it?

It really has, yeah. I'm a little bit bored at work. Shall we do it? Yeah. At work. How can we make my work day go... Jot that down. Jot that down in the HR notebook

because that was completely uncalled for. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, today's top six. Hayley, you've written this. Well, we all chipped in our contributions into the No Vaughan chat.

Yes. I tell you what, that chat, it's almost my favourite one. You know, it's almost my preferred chat now. Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Yeah. It's good fun, isn't it? Oh, it's just wild. Oh, things.

We talk about things, don't we? Yeah. Man. Well, today it's Vaughan's birthday so we are as part of his love language acts of service we said first you don't

have to prep for the show yep which was great because I wasn't going to do it anyway for the record

I wasn't keen on you not prepping for the show yeah he wasn't behind that I do bring great content

is what you're saying I'll take that as a compliment yeah great content and part of your prep is always find you know a top six idea and a fact of I do bring great content, is what you're saying. I'll take that as a compliment. Yeah, you should. Great content. And part of your prep is always find, you know, a top six idea and a fact of the day.

Now, we've taken care of both of these. Oh, really? Yeah. We're lightning in the load today. You don't have to do anything. Because I did have a fact of the day. Oh, do you? Locked and loaded. Acts of service.

Yeah. Acts of service. We've done it. But I don't like people doing stuff for me. I like people doing stuff with me. That's my acts of service. Well, here's how we're done it. But I don't like people doing stuff for me. I like people doing stuff with me. That's my acts of service. Well, here's how we're doing it. We've written the top six, all put in our contributions.

We're doing it with you as in you're going to read it. Okay. Top six cool things about Vaughn as written by ZM Pals. It's today's top six. Number six. You wrote number six. I just put six. Well, I just wasn't sure how you

scripted. Number goes without saying. We've done his work for him. Yeah, have we gone too much? It's not good enough. You've not done it right. It's like when your mum wants help, but not really because you're not going to do it right. I know, we offered to make your coffee and you said you won't do it right. Help me hang the washing. Oh, you're doing it wrong.

Don't hang it there. God, if I could get some help in this kitchen, don't touch that. Number six on the list. The top six cool things about Vaughan as written by ZM Powers. He never lets you pay for anything. Can you please send Jared your bank details? He wants to pay you back for dinner

two weeks ago. I'll get around to it. I've got to work it out. Always. If I pay for something and people pay me back, I like to it. I've got to work it out. Always. I like if people, if I pay for something and people pay me back, I like to wait until they've forgotten about it and then I hit them

with an exact amount and it frazzles them. It's good fun. Number five on the list of the top six cool things about Vaughn is written by ZM Powers. He's raising us to be wolves,

not sheep. Wolves. Arr! Arr! That's what I say when people are like, oh my God, aren't Jono and Ben nice?

I said they're raising sheep. They're raising weak sheep. We're raising wolves. We're teaching you to stand on your own two damn feet around here. We ain't raising little babies. We're raising wolves. And then you a-woo in his faces. Number four on the list of the top six cool things about Vaughn as written by ZM Pals.

Number four, he has model dimensions. Yep. Well, they said it. Yeah, he does. I know that you didn't want to bring it up. I know that you didn't want to talk

about it anymore. I didn't want to talk about it, but without a doubt. He didn't spend 20 hours on a chainsaw. Look at these. Yeah, packed. That's popping.

Popping off a little bit. Need to get back to the gym though. Your right arm is more popping than the left though, isn't it? Yeah. That's because, I guess, it's your...

Because you're lifting the chainsaw in a motion so much every day. I guess that's the weight bearing. The push. This one's just triggering. Number three on the list of the top six cool things about Vaughn is written by Zed Empower. He's a huge fan of woman. Respectfully, hashtag feminist.

Hashtag ally. He's an ally. He ZM Powers. He's a huge fan of woman. Respectfully, hashtag feminist. Hashtag ally. He's an ally. He is, man. He's an ally. Any woman he sees, he just wants to raise them up a little bit. Respectfully.

That's what I'm here for. Put them on a podium. Yeah. Whose idea was it to do this top six? This is so self-indulgent. Number two on the list of the top six

cool things about Vaughan as written by ZM Powers. He'll do anything for you. Lend you his bissel, bring you a lolly cake, or cut down your native tree. You ask, he'll do it. Yeah. Only when that native tree is posing a direct danger to an abode or property. Nah, that commercial was healthy, man.

Yeah, it was annoying me. It looked at me funny. Yeah. It looked at me funny with its little berries. Locking that view, wasn't it? Yeah, it really was. Get it down. And number one, insert your favourite thing about yourself.

And number one on the top six things about Vaughn is... Well, his hair. He turns up. He turns up. He turns up. Late. He turns up quite late every day. But he's here.

He's here. He's here. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I don't know why we're bringing this up. This is a simple raffle and... Raffle. And you're trying to support my marching team

and you're upset that you didn't win. Now, you've been running this raffle for a few weeks. It's called a baton's up. It's called a... What does that mean? A baton's up. This is what it's always been called, baton's up. But it's a raffle for a few weeks. It's called a batons up. It's called a, what does that mean? A batons up. This is what it's always been called, batons up. But it's a raffle. Yes.

But is that a marching term, batons up? I don't know. Someone at the start holds up the baton. Yeah, but that's not our marching. Oh, right. Lots of sports do batons up. So you've been like pestering everybody for weeks on Facebook. Yeah.

Like it's all I see in my feed. Who wants the last tickets? Well, you sell raffles. I've got tickets. You sell raffle tickets and then you buy them and then you go into the draw to win some money

and it helps us fundraise. Go to Nationals. Less than four weeks away. Right. And there were like various cash prizes. Various cash prizes. Which were quite appealing,

I must say. Hooked everyone in. You bought two. I bought two tickets. I supported the team with two tickets. Well done. Batten's up to you, Sue. The gals bought a couple of tickies.

Well done, girls. Batten's up to you. So you had your numbers assigned to the raffle drawer. Carwen, you purchased what? One or two? One. One. And I chose my number.

Yeah, she did. She picked her number. Carwen was number 246. Okay. Shannon. Shannon let pyjamas. You had one ticket? Yes, and I let Hayley let the stars align for me.

Yeah, and I chose her 424. Bands up. Now, Vaughn, you didn't support Hayley? No, I didn't. Why? Right. Well, I think the Nazis ruined marching, to be totally honest. Wow.

Wow. No, I was always, it was one of those ones where you're like, yes, and then just forget every time you sit down and do it, you'd forget to do it. What a terrible friend. Transfer some money into an account. Lots of people, Brady, Brady Olsen. I got him to spend some money.

Brady Olsen? In this economy? I know. Wow. He said he's always down to support someone with a passion. What a man. He's such a good guy. He's a nice guy with bad news. That's what we should call him. Nice guy Brad with bad passion. What a man. He's such a good guy. He's a nice guy with bad news.

That's what maybe we should call him. Nice guy Brad with bad news. He's a nice guy and I feel like when we say bad news, Brad, we're imagining this gloomy character. Yeah. No, no, no. It's always bad news, but he's a nice guy. Producer Jared, did you support Ailey?

Did you support Ailey? Did you support Ailey? Ailey. Support Ailey. You know why? Because I was watching a Guyiley? Did you support Ailey? Did you support Ailey? You know why? Because I was watching a Guy Ritchie movie last night. Oh yeah, you were.

That'll be it, Gough. That'll be it. No, I didn't. No, he's fine. No one was obligated to buy a thing that I pushed to the group four or five times.

Yeah, you wouldn't. Yeah. And now, yesterday it was drawn and none of my tickets won a single prize. Whose ticket won? Well, there was a number of prizes. How many tickets were there? 400.

Too many. 400 and we still lost. And there were like 20, weren't there? 20 prizes. Yeah, ish. Wow. These are good odds. No, they're not.

Clearly not. Well, they're better than Lotto. They, ish. Wow. These are good odds. No, they're not. Clearly not. Well, they're better than Lotto. They're better than Lotto. Your chance of winning is one in a bloody quadrillion. Yeah, I think it's quadrillion. I think those are the stats. It is. And now you feel like I've scammed you.

I've ripped you off. It's just the luck of the draw. It was just Hayley on Facebook saying, the draw's done. And it's like, oh, was it not adjudicated by a police officer? Where was the policeman? Well, we did it. Where was the live draw? We did the live draw. It's policeman? Well, we did it. Where was the live draw?

We did the live draw. It's on it. Did you watch it? I saw the live draw three hours late. Oh. Do you follow the Royal Crown marching page? It could have been edited. It could have been edited.

No, it wasn't edited. And they had fake numbers. They had fake numbers for the big prize. They've all got the money for themselves. Yeah, they kept it. No money. No, we don't. All going straight to marching boots.

I don't know. I was just led to believe that I could win an amount of money. But that's what you were led to believe every time we bought a lotto ticket. Supporting what? I don't buy lotto tickets. Some random sport. No, but you know you're not going to win when you buy a lotto ticket. Like, you just know.

Yeah. Like, you have hope, but you know. But whereas with your one. You really felt like it was. There was only 400. We really felt like we were going just know. Yeah. Like you have hope, but you know. But whereas with your one. You really felt like it was. There was only 400. We really felt like we were going to win. Yeah. The worst thing is, is I'm moving this weekend and I had to take the $20 out of my savings

account because we just paid for the moving van. Oh, wow. So my spending money was empty. Because a couple of you have asked for the money back and I'm like, it's not quite how it works. Well, I'm on the police website. Raffles, lotteries and games of chance. Lottery draws must be supervised by an appropriate person.

This is Lottery Game Rule 614. Okay. The person must be independent of the organisation conducting the lottery and can be, but not necessarily limited to, a person who can take declarations under Section 9 of the Oaths and Declarations Act, such as a justice of the peace, a notary public, a barrister, or a barista.

We trust them with our coffees. We had both a barrister and a barista there. You had both a lawyer and a coffee maker. We did. Yeah. Okay. They were gassing about all things Barry. Yeah.

Starting with barat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barat. It's all done legit. Okay. It's all legit. Okay. That's why you live stream Okay. It's all legit. Okay. That's why you live stream it.

You guys just need to follow the Royal Command Marching page. That's on you. You're not getting your money back either. I don't think I'm buying your ticket next year. Let's just say that. Wow. You will, though. Vaughan can.

Vaughan can support you next year. I'll buy a ticket for you next year. You're Vaughan and Jared. You're up next year. I'll continue to not. I'll continue to not. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

A study has looked into the psychological reasons behind selfie posting. But I feel like reading this article, I feel like it also means if you just put a photo up of yourself, not necessarily... Well, it's been fun. Oh, no. Apparently I'm dead now.

41 and he's got a stroke. 41 and, well, it's happened. Where was I up to? No, brain's gone. Shut down completely. You feel like... I feel like that also includes just a photo of yourself. Yeah, right.

Not necessarily if you took it, but if it's just you. Okay. Where you look good. Yep. Oh, I do that. I'm trying to post a selfie now. I haven't posted a selfie in a long time. So...

But we've ripped out our bathroom right, so I no longer have a mirror. I don't know what I look like until I get to work. Thankfully, gorgeous. That's all good. You could open your cell phone on the self-facing camera What do I want to do? Cute, sexy or like coy?

Well that depends wherever the mood's taking you at that moment But apparently you would post it Because you feel you're looking good And it's a little bit of like a microaggression against other women Oh yeah What? It's like a you don't look this good right now Oh wow It's like the deep down don't look this good right now. Oh, wow.

It's like the deep down psychological reason that women will post a selfie. Yeah. I look good right now. Do you look this good right now? I don't think so. And then you are implanting self-doubt in other women. I would have just thought it's like, I look good in that photo, I'll post it. Why though?

So you're looking better than other people. So that people know how hot I am. Yeah. That's what it all comes down to. And then everybody, when they see somebody else that's hot, one of their first three thoughts, this is not in the study, this is just me saying first three thoughts, is I don't look that good right now.

Yeah. Or she's not that hot. I'll show her hot. So that's the next part of the study, is that if you upload a hot selfie and then someone you know then almost posts a reactionary selfie. Yeah. Like it's a, you're competing now for who posted the hotter one.

And they did it as a reaction. You take that as a slight against you because this was your moment to shine. Yeah. But this other person's like, I'm not letting you have the moment to shine. My limelight, my limelight. And then it's this whole brain, it's this whole psychological game. So women are doing this as a microaggression.

Yeah. Have they looked at, is it the same for men? Men post selfies because they feel they have to. Yeah. And often they'll post a selfie with their partner in it. So their partner can be like mine. Yeah.

Territory. It's primal again. Put a photo up of us. So people know that you're taken. I'm going to wee on you. Yeah. It's a territory marking situation. Yeah it is.

So they feel they have to. I mean I feel like a lot of men also post. I want to drop some. Yeah because you know guys can be like at the gym again. You're not as buff as me Yeah Yeah And then you're safe

But you know We don't need gym We don't need gym selfies From anybody I don't know Because sometimes At our gym They've got really good

Down lighting That makes my shoulders Go pa-dom pa-dom pa-top Yeah So then I'll just do A little And I want to take a photo But it's like the mirrors

At the gym right Weren't they always Stretching you a little, and I want to take a photo. But it's like the mirrors at the gym, right? Weren't they always stretching you a little bit wider because the psychological reason behind it was guys look and they're like, oh, my God, I look bigger because it's bulking me up. I'm going to keep going. And women looked at it and they were like, oh, my God, it's making me look bigger. I need to keep coming.

So I don't look bigger. Wasn't those mirrors always a little bit skew-ish sideways? Yeah, maybe. Again in the head. I think probably back in the day they were, for sure.

But no, I always looked 10 out of 10 hot at the time. Yeah. Especially down lighting. You'd like everybody you follow on Instagram

to know what not stop posting hot selfies of themselves? That's not going crazy. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah, no, we're not discouraging this. Yeah, and I never take it

as a microaggression. Right. You just take it as they were hot. I'm a very placid character. I don't take any, and I'll pump people up. Yeah, right, okay.

Like, you know, I told you last week. You're constantly commenting on people's photos. I told you last week. I was like, you know, my mate Johnny got married. I was like, it's the best badonk. This dude's packing in the badonk.

Oh, yeah, we've got the badonker. I'll pump my mates up. I'll be like, get that photo up. Let's get some praise. Maybe if you don't know them, maybe don't comment. We're going to jot that down. Jot that down on the HR. No, don't do that.

No, no. Now, I know we're, as a country, all of the North Island, Yeah. No, no, no. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, I know we're, as a country, well, in the North Island, there's a lot of clean-up mode going on, and the heartbreaking photos coming out of the East Coast. Oh. Right from the top to the bottom, you know. Yeah.

It is heartbreaking. I saw on the news a guy, you know, with a spade, like, trying to work through the silt, and I was like, how do you find the motivation? It's everywhere. Like how do you even pick up a shovel and just like, right, let's get to work. So I saw this on a farming New Zealand farmer's Facebook page, like lifestyle blog page I belong to. A lady was like, so this is my property now.

Yeah. We're like dug down to find whereabouts our grass was. And we believe the average is about two foot of silt all over our farm. What do we do? Yeah, where do you push it? And she's right. Remember in Christchurch when it dried out, it just turns to dust

and then the wind blows and it's just, everything's covered in it and it's just... Well, yeah and they're saying as well, be careful of the dust if you're cleaning up silt because there's a lot of contamination in that silt, like chemicals and poos. Well, that's why she's like, how do I know that this is even, like, not toxic? You've got to get rid of it. It's insane.

And how the hell do you get rid of it? And where do you start? And we don't have enough heavy machinery to do it all. So everybody's talking about that. Thieving mongrels are stealing shit. 59 arrests? Yeah, 59 arrests in the East Coast and the Hawke's Bay region stealing shit. 59 arrests? Yeah, 59 arrests in the East Coast in the Hawke's Bay region, yeah.

59 arrests. Well, I love an excuse to get out the chainsaw and Shade's dad's got a place up north that got an email saying there's some trees down. Oh, yeah. So we shot up at the weekend chainsaws at the ready. So I love it.

I did a lot of chainsawing over the last week when our big tree came down. Did Shari finally pick one up? So she got on the pole saw, which is like a pole with a chainsaw at the end. Wow. She was a bit into that, but she wasn't quite ready to go big chainsaw just yet. Aaron's been teaching me about how to use power tools

because I'm scared of the staple gun. So he's been showing me. What staple gun? The big like. Nail gun.'m scared of the staple gun. So he's been showing... What staple gun? You're scared of... Well, no, the big, like... Nail gun. No, no, staple gun. Just the one where you

pull the trigger, like at school, where they'd be like... Yeah, but the big ones, like with a big battery pack on it and stuff to put plastic and all this stuff

in the house. Right. Oh, I want to come and have a play with that. Yeah, and we've got the nail gun and stuff and any time he picks it up... Oh, can I have a play with that?

You can come over. I've never used a nail gun. I've never used either. we've got the nail gun and stuff. And any time he picks it up. Oh, can I have a play with that? You can come and play with the nail gun. I've never used either. Yeah, we've got the nail gun. But any time he picks it up. Pacelight or is it battery powered? Like is it air? Oh, no, it's not the air. It doesn't have the tank thing with the.

We borrowed one of those from our mutual friend. And that was good fun. Yeah. But anyway, Aaron's been teaching me how to use them. Because I get scared that's going to shoot off my face. So I feel shoddy. It's the same thing when you're just like. It would be at arm's distance. Oh, yeah use them because I get scared that's going to shoot off my face. So I feel shoddy. It's like, it would be at arm's distance. You get confident.

You can't be scared of a chainsaw. You've got to let the chainsaw know who's boss. It's like handling animals. Because you can do anything. You can do anything. Oh, not everything. Women are sort of physically weaker. I won't take it.

As an ally, I'm going to have to ask you to buck up your ideas. I stand by my statement. I wasn't built take it. As an ally, I'm going to have to ask you to buck up your ideas. I stand by my statement. I wasn't built for it. So it's more that you don't want to do it. No, it's more that I'm a lady. I couldn't possibly. I couldn't possibly. She doesn't want to do it.

So I was doing some chain-throwing and I said to Shadad, I'm not getting up a ladder. That's silly. Anyway, I got up a ladder. I know I did. And I was using the pole saw to get a high branch. Now, I was kind of calculating how it was all going. I was only three steps up the ladder.

And I was looking and I was like, this all looks legit. And as I was soaring, it started going creak. And I was like, actually, that doesn't look good. Boof. And I cut it and a branch swung down. I saw it coming. I kind of crossed my arms in front of my chest

and it just caught me full in the chest and pushed me back because of the ladder and I landed on my fat bum which is good to have a fat bum in these situations so the dumper

kind of cushioned it yeah and soft thing and I landed on it and I was like because it knocked the air out of me and then I stood up and I was like

you mother effer and I was swearing at everything basically and that's when Shadow was like, you mother effer. And I was swearing at everything, basically. And that's when Shadow was like, you know, I never swore at inanimate objects until we started going out. I was like, what? I thought everybody swore at inanimate objects. Yeah, I do.

I do. Always. Let them have it. It's your fault. You kick over a bucket of paint. You're like, you bastard. I don't say bastard. I get filthy.

I swear at inanimate objects in a way I would never talk to a human. Oh, yeah. No, it's a frustration release, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it felt good. And then I was like, oh, well, she's like, yeah, I can see why you do it because it feels good. Yeah.

I was like, I just thought maybe it's, maybe, I don't know. I was going to say maybe it's a farming thing, but you guys didn't grow up on farms. But then I was like, maybe because your dad was like a builder. Yeah, I don't know. There's a builder thing, but your dad was like a builder. There's a builder thing but then your dad wasn't a builder. I know. Your mum is very handy.

Would she swear at things if they went wrong? Oh, she might throw a little prick around. You kick a gate? I've kicked a gate before and said, get out of your bloody stupid gate. But there's a few more decorative swear words thrown in there. I remember being a kid

and watching my dad play squash and he smashed a record or two. Really? Really? Got a bit of a temper. Fled up. You know, when they get really into it. My dad was quite good.

Yeah. Even now and then, I remember he used to, like, throw it on the ground and be like, you bastard. He'd smash it on the ground. Yeah. And then have to get himself a new squash record. And go get a record. It feels good.

Everybody did that. Yeah. It feels good. So Sade does it now, but she didn't before she met you. She didn't reckon she did it before We should have gone out How did she take her anger out then? I don't know

I guess internalised it Pushed it down deep Yeah, poisonous Not talked about it Yeah, it's going to turn into a tumour And then it turns into a life-threatening tumour in your 50s Yeah, you've got to let it out I just want everyone

We're in some inanimate objects this week Because a lot of people will be very frustrated Yeah And Don't take it out on people will be very frustrated. Yeah. Don't take it out on people. Take it out on things. Yeah. This is, I'm sure, healthy in what therapists recommend.

I've never been to a therapist that they recommend. Having been to a few, yeah, yeah, yeah. They always say, give it a punch. See, I don't like to punch because that's going to hurt me. Yeah. No, no, no. Vocal punch. A vocal punch.

Right. Yeah. Lash out. Okay. Swear at inanimate objects. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, no, no. Vocal punch. A vocal punch. Right. Yeah. Lash out. Okay. Swear it. Inanimate objects. Now, Brits are going absolutely nuts for this video that this American lady posted online of her

attempting to say the name of the very umami brown sauce. Mama asked me to get some Roy Sister Cherie sauce. Some Roy Sister Cherie? Mama asked me to get some Roy Sister Cherie sauce. Roy Sister Cherie? Where did she get the Cherie?

Mama asked me to get some Roy Sister Cherie sauce. Shire. Because I always get Worcester Shire. Worcester Shire. Like Worcester Shire. I always say Worcestershire. It's Worcestershire. Is that right? Worcestershire. Because itestershire. Like Worcester. Shire. I always say Worcestershire. It's Worcestershire. Is that right?

Worcestershire. It's not Shire, Ray. It's never Shire if it's a place. And this is a place in England? Yeah, Worcestershire. Worcestershire. I think you're pronouncing it wrong. Mama asked me to get some Roy Sister Cherie sauce.

It's Roy Sister Cherie. Roy Sister Cherie. Roy Sister Cherie. That is a hard thing to say, though. Everybody struggles with that. I had to consciously learn it. You know what I mean? Like I had to consciously go.

You're struggling with that one too. Consciously go Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Is how you're supposed to say it. And I just think Worcester Sheree is such a great thing.

And I just feel like there's these words in our life that we come up against. We go, I don't know how to pronounce it, so I'm just going to avoid it for my entire life. Yes. So I thought we could take some calls and find out the words that you don't know how to pronounce. I love that.

Is there a word that you just dart around your whole life because you go, eh, I don't know what that is. Do you know Worcestershire, the actual place, is what they apparently what J.R.R. Tolkien based the shire on. Wow. So it is the Hobbit Shire is the Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire.

Yeah. All right, well, what words do you have trouble saying? Like, are they just, is it a simple word, but do you just trip up? Yeah, do you trip up on it? Or is there a word that you just constantly read, or you know what it means, but you just dare not even attempt to pronounce it? Or you don't know how to say it.

So you'll just leave it. I know I've got words like this, but I can't think of them now. Worcestershire was definitely one of them. It's one of them, yeah. I've worked hard on that. But maybe we could, we'll try to look them up and we'll teach you them. I have just been reminded, so we're wanting to know the words that you don't know how to say.

And do you remember the video of Benedict Cumberbatch trying to say penguins? Penguins. And he does a voiceover of a nature documentary when he says, and now the penguins. Penguins. Penguins. And it gets worse and worse and worse. So this has gone viral for the pronunciation of a sauce.

Mama asked me to get some Roy Sister Cherie sauce. Roy Sister Cherie. Which is how I would like to call. Worcestershire. Worcestershire sauce. I would like to call... Worcestershire. Worcestershire sauce. Worcestershire sauce. Worcestershire sauce. I mean, that's what Google says, so that must be right.

I feel like when my career dries up, I could be a good Google Maps voice or a good Google pronounce. Why wait till the career dries up? Why not put it out there now? I'm busy. You're busy. Worcestershire sauce. So we want to know from you

are the words that you have trouble pronouncing. 0800 dials at MSN number, text through 9696. Some text messages in. I can't say testosterone. I can, obviously. I've nailed that. Yeah.

Testosterone. Instead, I call it man-growing stuff. Testosterone. Man-growing stuff. Test our story. Man-growing stuff. Somebody said, we used to remember Worcestershire sauce. I did it. You did it, yeah. Roy's sister's sherry sauce.

No, that's not right. No. You've been absolutely led astray there. Someone said, my wife has a real problem saying I was wrong. I bet you don't have a problem saying I told you so. I'm imagining that rolls off the tongue. Americans really struggle to say Worcestershire sauce. Nailed it again.

That's three on the trot for me after years of not being able to say it. Yeah. So what can't you say? We want to know those words that you have trouble saying. Nikki, what's the word for you? So I work on the ambulance, and unfortunately there's a lot of words that I embarrass myself with. But one that really gets me is like when you're choking and asphyxiate.

Oh, my God. Asphyxiate. Asphyxiate. Oh, no. No, no, no. Clear the mind. Asphyxiate. Asphyxiate.

Asphyxiate. Yeah, that's the one. And it's like I look like I'm having a medical event when I'm trying to explain it to a patient. It's really embarrassing. But the good part about it is if they're choking, they're not going to be able to answer you back. Yeah, don't worry about it. You've got plenty of time. That's it.

Perfect, perfect. So how do you say it? Have a go? A-ski-ate? Do you have another term for it, or do you just say choking? I just say choking. I just say you're choking. All the fluid will go into your lungs, and it's no good.

That's how I roll that out. That's actually famously bad for the lungs, isn't it? Too much fluid. Yeah, no, you don't want that. That's not what you want. You'd know that, Nicky. You're an anvo. Amazing, Nicky.

Thank you. Some more messages in. I can't for the life of me say similarly. I can't say it because there's too many li-li-li-li-li's. Similarly.

Yeah. Particularly. Particularly. Particularly or particularly. Similarly. Similarly. I hate specific. Oh, Pacific. Oh, when people always say Pacific. I hate specific. Oh, Pacific.

Oh, when people always say Pacific. I'm looking at you Pacificly. Yeah. I'm not from Pacific. Some people have trouble saying perform. Preform. That's a real pet peeve. That really gets me going.

Beautiful performance. Somebody said, if I roll into breakfast too fast, the word breakfast, what do you want for breakfast? Without thinking or slowing down, I'll say Rick faster. Rick faster. Rick faster.

Yeah. Stress. That's good. Somebody said, I'm originally from Japan and I can't say squirrel. Squirrel. There's lots of people that can't say squirrel. They go squirrel. We say squirrel.

Squirrel. Squirrel. With two syllables. But like American would say squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Specific?

I say precise instead. Oh, yeah. To be precise. That's good because you've found a way around that. Yeah. I can't say isthmus. It's a narrow, like Auckland is an isthmus. Narrow strip of land separated by two borders of water. How often do you need to say isthmus? Often. Yeah, but how's it spout? Isthmus. It's a narrow, like Auckland is an isthmus. Narrow strip of land separated by two How often do you need

to say isthmus? Often. Yeah, but how's it spout? Isthmus. It's, it's-smus. Isthmus. Isthmus.

I don't know, you're on a spelling bee show, shouldn't you know? I won, didn't I? Yeah. I had an American friend who couldn't say the name of the tea

that helps you sleep. Chamomile tea. Oh yeah? Am I saying that right? I don't say it often. Chamomile. Chamomile. Chamomile. Chamomile, she called it. It does look like chamomile tea. Oh, yeah. Am I saying that right? I don't say it often. Chamomile. Chamomile.

Chamomile. Chamomile, she called it. It does look like chamomile. It does. It does look like chamomile. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You are 41 today, Vaughan. 41 years old.

You don't need to look over your shoulder. And Rihanna is having a birthday today too. You share a birthday with Rihanna. Rihanna and I are both hot. 30-6. Oh, she's around. Yeah, you're both hot. You both have a lingerie company.

Yeah, mine's not doing as well as hers. No. Both incredibly successful. Yep. Both married to hotties. Is she married? Are they married? I don't know if they're married.

Oh, I thought they were. Don't tell me they've had babies out of wedlock. Yeah, out of wedlock. I just assumed that they had. Right. Okay. No, but how are you celebrating today? I don't know.

Got no plans. No, yeah. Might tidy the garage. Pop a nap. Yeah. It's all right. It's just another day. It's just another day. It's all right. It's just another day. It's just another day.

It's just another day, isn't it? Well, the kids are at school, so maybe something after school. Well, this is the thing, is that you're very chill and you don't like a lot of birthday hype. And sometimes the inclination is to do something huge for you and you a little bit don't want to do it.

So we're simply today just doing little things for you as our acts of service to you. Yeah, I got to work today and my car park was guarded and it was open and my car was, I assume, being valeted for me today. Yep. Jared carried my bag up.

Jared wouldn't even ride in the same lift up. Like real servant vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we just wanted to celebrate in the traditional way. We got you a cake and we'll sing you a happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to you. Now, would you like to describe the cake that we've got you? My cake is a bluey cake. Now, recently, I know I'm a little behind the eight ball on bluey. What? The cake's on the purse. Calvin, did you drop the cake? No.

Did it start to melt? It's gone heavy front forward. Did it fall into something? It's got heavy front forward. Did it fall into something? It's got a dash out of the side of it. Bluey's on, Bluey's on. It was a long drive.

It was a long drive. I know. I've driven with a cake in the car before and you brake and then you look across and the cake's sliding forward. That's terrifying.

Yeah. I recently fell in love with this show Bluey which I know is designed for children but I think adults alike can enjoy it. I don't know if there's

many 41 year olds ordering a Bluey cake. Chill out and watch Bluey. Yeah. This is great stuff. This is a very blue cake. It's blue, yeah. It's blue. What flavour is it? Is it blue? What? What?

Carrot. Carrot! Yes! That's all I needed. As mentioned on Friday, the worst kind of cake. No, you're the only one Who mentioned that I'm interested to see What a carrot cake Tastes like with blue icing

I think that's why It's on the piss Because structurally It's carrot Being the The woman most connected To the baking world Not a structural cake

You never build A structural cake This one's very big And tall What would you make A cake out of If you wanted to have structure More dense Like a dense, like a thick

mud. Like a thick chocolate. A mud. A thick choco. Some of the bit of solidity to it. A fruit. A big, heavy fruit cake. Carrots light and fluffy and moist. That's why Bluey's is having a couple of bloody cereal blonks. Bluey's OTP. This cake rules. Happy birthday speech. Speech.

Thank you for the cake. Cool, that was short and sweet. Oh, beautiful. Hang on, have you got tissues? Keep it tight, keep it bright. Thank you. For the cake. Oh, that was short and sweet. Oh, I'm beautiful. Hang on. Have you got tissues? Keep it tight. Keep it bright. Thank you for the cake.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Vaughn's cutting his cake. It's a good looking cake. Oh, I'm excited. Carrot, carrot, carrot. I'm going to put a photo of the cake on my social media. Carrot, carrot. All about me.

Carrot, wish me happy birthday. That's what I'll say. Actually, we haven't had a single happy birthday message come through. Don't encourage people. That is why. It's because this year I asked, in lieu of wishing me a happy birthday, if you could send Fletch some thoughts and prayers. Some teas and peace.

Oh, right. That's what I said. You know how people are like, I don't want presents. Donate to this charity. I said, in lieu of birthday wishes, just send some thoughts and prayers to Fletch. Some big Ts and Ps. Oh, wait. One person just sent through HB.

I like that, HB. HB, yeah. And also, we've just received a thoughts and prayers for Fletch. So that's good. That's good. And after his weekend activities, he's going to need more than one. Oh, I know.

Am I right? You don't even know what I did. We drove past his house last night. We were dropping off my father-in-law. We drove past Fletcher's apartment. And my girls were like, which one's Fletcher's house? I was like, that one up there, windows wide open. And they were like, well, he's going to shut those windows.

He's going to shut his windows. It's nighttime. The burglars will get in. So they sent him a video message. We're like, we just drove past your house. Shut your windows. The burglars will get in. You live pretty high up.

And honestly, I didn't want to tell the kids, you know, how do I explain this to my kids? But I said to Sade, he's probably airing the place out, if you know what I mean. And she's like, yeah, I know what you mean. This is all so salacious.

So again, thoughts, prayers, a rug doctor. I messaged back saying, unless these burglars have a ladder, good luck getting up. They didn't need a bloody big ladder too. You're in the penthouse, aren't you? That $40 million penthouse. Oh my God, no.

You're doing well for yourself. He is. Made a couple of great investments. Marble floors, they're so nice. Profited endlessly off the redundancies made in the great global financial crisis. No, I have a cheap carpet that my cat's clawing up. Whatever, whatever. You're telling the yarn.

At the weekend. Well, my weekend was a lot more mild. I was working. I, on Friday night. Mine was mild too. Well, some of us have to keep working, Hayley. Some of us didn't profit in the millions at the, you know. Exactly.

Exactly. I'm still hustling. I'm not. I only made literally $30 on Sharesies, Vaughn, when that company laid off all those people. I've lost $ling. I'm not. I only made literally $30 on Sharesies, Vaughn, when that company laid off all those people. I've lost $30. There it goes. There it is.

$30. Wild, huh? Wow. Okay, but whatever. Pocketed it. I went down, I emceed some awards, an awards ceremony in Christchurch for a European car brand Audi. It was quite

solicitous. Do you get an Audi now for hosting these awards? Yeah, that's how they pay me, with a $100,000 car. Boy oh boy was I angling. I was angling. Were you meeting people that work for Audi and being like,

you do have a real wanker vibe. I think an Audi could be for you. Thank you. Real. You look like you're not really going to indicate before you just decide to merge into that line. You're in an Audi. I'll figure it out once I start turning.

Yes. I did try because what they have is these ambassadors, right? So they have like brand ambassadors like Shein and Boohoo.com. I don't know what you're talking about. They've got brand ambassadors. Shein? Yeah, it's cheap clothing. Is that the arseless ones that I see on Facebook?

Yeah. But they've got, so they've got these brand ambassadors. Isn't that Wish? No, is it Shein? It's real like both. Yeah, both. I think they come from the same truck.

Just different label. Yeah. Anyway, both. I think they come from the same truck. Just different label. Yeah. Anyway, so one of these brand ambassadors is Sir Steve Hansen. He was at this event. Former All Black coach. Former All Black coach.

Sir. Wait, so you're trying to angle in to be an ambassador? Yeah, because you get Audis. Yeah, but Sir Steve Hansen

coached the All Blacks to... Is he driving an Audi? Yeah. He should be driving an old Ford Courier Ute. No. Not even a new Ford Ranger. He's an Audi boy. He's an Audi boy?

He's an Audi boy. Right. I've got to say, when I saw him there, because I've never met Steve, I was a bit starstruck. I followed his All Blacks the most right out of the last few years you looked at me like did they have some hot ones yeah i don't know you they did all right it was the hot era of the all blacks right okay unlike these mingers now um anyway so steve was there and i couldn't quite bring myself to uh introduce myself to him and I got up and I did some comedy and I emceed the events. And, you know, you keep them entertained the whole time.

And at the end of it, because I stayed for the whole event, at the end of it, he came up to me. And I was like, oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. And he said, oh, you know, bloody good job. And I have to say, out of anyone I've ever met, you use the word far more eloquently than anyone. He said that to you. To me.

You're at an Audi event and you're dropping the F-bomb. Yeah, man, I'm loosening these tidy righties up. Because, I mean, because I think, you know, I think sometimes you can go one way or the other. You can be a bit prudish or you can be too heavy handed with it. Because, I mean, because I think, you know, I think sometimes you can go one way or the other. You can be a bit prudish or you can be too heavy handed with it. Yeah, right. And he said, well-timed. Wow.

Well, well-timed. What a compliment. I also asked him for one of the awards. It was a tie. Oh, yeah. And I said, oh, Steve, you know, when it's a tie and you're down to the last point, what do you say to the boys to get them to get that extra point ahead of the other team?

And he used that word and he said, F them up. F them up. Oh, okay. Wait, you asked him a rugby question? Yeah, I didn't know what else to talk to him about. Nice shirt. What have we got in common? Ask him how his Audi is.

Yeah, what does he think of the Tiptronic gearbox? The what? I don't know. That used to be a thing. Triptonic. Triptronic. Triptronic? Triptronic.

You could have asked him if he indicated when he changed his lane. Yeah, or do you just like... Sir Steve Hansen doesn't indicate. I don't think he needs to. They just know he's coming. Get out of the way. You have one of those obnoxiously long Audi number plates? Oh, I want one, I want one.

They're the same amount of letters, but they're like really long. Yeah. And they're black sometimes. Yeah, I want one, I want one, I want one. I mean, yeah, if they gave me one, I wouldn't say no. I reckon watch this space. I'm going to really work on this. One, you're going to hear more Fs on this show.

Get ready for it. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, no, no, no. Trust me, I use it very well. Okay. Well, you've had a compliment now. By a sir.

Two, Sir Steve Hansen and I. A frick. A frick. A frick feels aggressive sometimes, though. Frick is the fff. Yeah. Yeah, nah. Steve Hansen and I are going to become besties.

Yeah. And three, I'm going to be an Audi. I'm going to be an Audi ambassador, I reckon. They'll have me. Have they seen the way you drive? Because probably not after that. Have they seen the way you drive? Because probably not after that. Have they seen the state of my car? Disgusting.

Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, because we're doing acts of service today, Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- them. We have one about St. Patrick. Do you know this fact? Maybe. We do tend to do a St. Patrick's Day fact around St. Patrick's Day. We'll save it. We have a fact about blood curdling. Do you know this fact?

Is it about a venom? Nope. Just blood curdling. We have a fact of the day about Oreos. Okay. And we have a fact of the day about the Prius. I have the Oreos. You have your own. I feel like we may have,

we've done a few Oreo fact of the days. We'll do the Oreo and then if we have, we'll go back to it. We can dip into the Prius. Okay. Today's fact of the day

is about double stuffed Oreos. Now, you know double stuffed Oreos. They've got the biscuit, twice the amount of icing. Like a centimetre of icing. A huge amount and then another biscuit. People get them because the icing's what it's all about. The biscuit ain't nothing. I throw away the biscuit.

Well today's fact of the day. You throw away the biscuit. You're not living in a lap of luxury. I grate it off with my teeth like It's never been a better analogy for your life. You tongue the icing and ditch the biscuit. Who's paying for the biscuit when they're getting the icing

for free, you know? He tongues it and biffs it. Just make me a pack of icing. Wow. So the fact is that the double stuffed Oreos are in fact not double stuffed. Now this may shock you, but they are stuffed only 1.86 times as much as a normal Oreo.

Oh wow, so when they say double stuffed, it's 1.8 times stuffed. Absolutely. Now this was discovered by a New York math teacher who loved Oreos. And so they thought, I'm going to get myself, I'm going to do myself a bit of a study because I know my Oreos and this ain't no double stuff. So they got a whole bunch of Oreos, got out the filling and conducted their own research and concluded that it is only stuffed 1.86 times. So did they scrape it off and weigh each sample? Yeah.

Or did they do a height? No, no, no. They scraped it off. Oh, wow. So they get a whole tray of single stuffed and then a tray of double stuffed and then worked it out. And the overall median stuffage was 1.86. So they lied to us. Has anyone taken a big Oreo to the Supreme Court on this matter?

It's America. Surely they'll sue. Or does it say somewhere on the packet little asterisks roughly? Is there a semi-stuffed? What is it? Less icing? Yeah. I'm looking at a photo

and there's three. There's an Oreo. There's a double-stuffed Oreo and then there's a skinny, skinny Oreo. No, no, no. Not if you want a Tongue the Icing

and Tongue the Icing and Biff the Bicky. Yeah, a skinny one. Old Tongue the Icing and Biff the Bicky. Yeah, a skinny one. Tongue the Icing, Biff the Bicky Fletch. That's what you're going to be known for. You should get a T-shirt made. Tongue the Icing, Ditch the Biscuit. So I used to do that all the time.

What were those ones? Cameo creams. Yes. But Cameo cream biscuits are yucker than an Oreo. Oreo biscuits at least are a little nicer. A little chocolatey. Wow. No, I'm sorry. What I saw was a pictureucker than an Oreo. Oreo biscuits at least are a little nicer. A little chocolatey. Wow. No, I'm sorry.

What I saw was a picture of a normal Oreo, a double-stuffed Oreo, and something they have probably only in America, a mega-stuffed Oreo. Oh, how much is in the mega-stuffed? It claims to be three times as much. We've heard about these Oreos. No, I only have the stats on the double-stuffed. Now, as a man that likes to tongue the icing and ditch the bicky, what do you think about it?

What were they called in Ultra Stuffed? Mega Stuffed. A Mega Stuffed. Yeah, I'd be all about that. You'd be all about that. I would be. I'd almost probably eat the biscuit with that one because it might be too much icing.

Yeah. He's found his limits, ladies and gentlemen. He may have found my... He's going to bring at least one of the bickies back in. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good call. Ditch the top bicky and have an open Oreo sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do you get them off? Twist it. Just a twist. Yeah, just a twist. How else do you get them off? Well, you could... What? I don't know.

Kind of lever it with your teeth. Yeah, that's unreliable, though. You may break the biscuit. Prone to snappage. So today's fact of the day is that double stuffed Oreos Are in fact not double stuffed They are only stuffed 1.86 times as much I like it Fact of the day

Day day day day Yeah This is a beautiful story about the lengths people will go for true love. Now, there was a woman. She was living in Bangladesh. Yeah. And she met a man. Her name is Krishna. She met a man called Abhik who lived in Bangladesh. Yeah. And she met a man. Her name is Krishna. She met a man called Abhik

who lived in India. And they fell in love online. As many of us do these days. Meet someone online. Online. Get chatting. I was listening to a podcast where someone met their wife in a game of Among Us.

What's that? That game where you ran around and you would do tasks, but someone was the murderer and they'd go around and they were like, meh. And when you found a dead body, you're like, meh. Emergency medical debate. Oh, was that on the apps that everyone was playing it during lockdown? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I played that. It was massive during lockdown. And it kind of entered the zeitgeist and sus. Everyone's like, they're acting sus. That was nice. A relationship started on deceit. Yeah. No, he was the murderer in a game of Among Us,

and she was like, the second to last one left, he had to kill her and he would have won, but he couldn't. Oh. I don't know how, because last time I played, there was no talking. Yeah. But anyway, they talked, and then there you go. Right.

Well, it turns out, unfortunately, Krishna didn't have a passport. Right. So to visit Abhik in India, she'd need to get one. And she thought, I cannot wait to meet this love. So she swam. What? She got in the sea and she swam there. So I'm looking at a map of Bangladesh right next to it.

So it's India and then to the right of India is Bangladesh. And above Bangladesh, you've got like Bhutan, Nepal's above India, and then Myanmar to the side. So it's kind of landlocked. But then there's a big river through it and it is on the coast. The Sundarbans. Yeah. Sundarbans is what she swam across.

Took over an hour. She navigated numerous swamps as well and muddy trails through a mangrove forest to get out the other side. What about snakes? Yeah, and tigers. There's tigers up there. Yeah, tigers, yeah. And then she swam across the Malta River for more than an hour and then finally got to the other side. Then walked to meet

a peak in the village where he lived. Was he stoked? I'm sorry, but if someone's like, I'm swimming to meet you, red flags. Psycho! I'm going to swim an hour across a dangerous river through tiger territory because I

love you so much. They must love me. So then as soon as she got there, I imagine she showered. She would just be in such a state. Off they went and they got married. And then they shared this online right thing like, oh, my God, I swear. And then the cops were like, hang on. Excuse me. You're like illegally in our country.

Yeah, she was detained. Oh. I know. I was going to leave that part of the story. What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.

What is love? Oh, wait, we were stopping? Okay. No, you keep going. Anyway, so I just thought. That would actually be a great Friday flashback. That is you written all over it. What is love?

Baby, don't hurt me. Yeah, I don't know if it is. I don't know if it is. Damn, it's his week as well. Yeah. Feel a cold coming on. Anyway, so I just thought this would, you know, I love when you hear these tales of people doing wild things for love.

And I want to know, what is the wildest thing you've done for love? Like traveled a long distance? Yeah. Did you move countries for someone? Yeah, or maybe you met and then in a week later you proposed and you got married. Like what is the thing that just like love drove you crazy and you just went, I'm going to do it?

All right, well, we want to take the stories. Maybe you've got their name tattooed on your forehead because you thought, I'll never love another. Don't do that. And then you love another now. And laser surgery is quite expensive. Oh, and it hurts. And even with the laser surgery, you can still kind of see the outline.

Definitely be people with the tattoos. It wouldn't be on the face, but there would be 100% people that have done that too. I know. But how far have you gone for love? 0800 DALES at MSNM. You can text her as well. 9696.

We want to hear those wild stories. Love drove you crazy. It's our Watermelon Sugar Hello. We're going to call somebody now that's registered and you can do this as well at ZM Online. If you answer with

Watermelon Sugar Hello, you win tickets to Harry Styles. Watermelon Sugar Hello. Yay! Hey! Oh, that was there. It just, like, rang once, and you picked up. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yes.

I've had Watermelon Sugar in my head for a very long time. Thank you. Well, congratulations. We have got for you tickets to see Harry Styles, his love on tour show at Mount Smart Stadium, March 7. Congratulations. Thank you. He'll be so good live. I was going to say, he'll be so stoked I'm there.

He'll be so pleased to see me. I'll make him a sign. Tickets at livenation.co.nz and if you'd like to register for Watermelon Sugar, hi, just go to ZM online and we could be calling you back tomorrow

hooking you up with tickets. Well done, Kate. Woohoo. Thank you so much. Next, we're going to get to your stories of how far you went for love. We're talking about the extreme lengths you've gone to for your partner,

a lady. Where did she start off and what country did she start off in? She started in Bangladesh. He was in India. She swam across rivers and mountains and swamps. Swamps. So she could get married because she didn't have a passport. Yeah. And then, of course, as you do, you put it on TikTok and online

and then she was arrested. Our love knows no boundaries. It's like, yes, but countries do. Yeah, they do. And you need a passport to travel. Me and my now wife were doing an OE in Canada. She's from New Zealand. I'm from the UK.

We met two weeks before she was leaving, and I ended up moving to New Zealand to be with her only a few months later. I always said I'd never leave Canada. Nine years later, we have two kids, a house, and a marriage. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me. No more. What is love? What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more. What is love? What is love? Wild enough to break lockdown. Ooh. You shouldn't have done that. That's against the rules.

Yeah, thanks. I would have reported you. You would have been slapped to the front. Imagine if you'd been the one that had caused an outbreak. Yeah. Well, some people were the ones. Yeah. My friend was dating a guy

during seventh form at high school who was absolutely obsessed with her. Long story short, he got her name tattooed on his chest. When he was, what, like 17? Don't do that. Goodness, don't do that.

Don't do that. Six months later, it was over. Oh, for God's sake. On the chest. We are now 17 years post high school and it was changed recently to a tiger. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. For years, he used to say it was changed recently to a tiger. Oh yeah, okay. Yeah.

For years he used to say it was a family member's name who had died and that was why it was close to his heart. Oh for God's sake. It wasn't, it was a girl he saw for six months when he was 17. The ladies would have loved that story though, eh? It'd be fine if her name was like Anne, but if your name was like Florentine or something, you know, like some really long. Yeah. Penelope. Yeah.

Yeah. Or, um, Olivier, you know that like some really long. Yeah. Penelope. Yeah. Yeah. Or Olivier, you know, that margarine. Oh, yeah. Olivani. Olivani, yeah. We're just a huge fan of margarine. How many Olivani's have you met? Not many, but they'd be out there.

You go to Italy, I reckon you'd meet a couple of Olivani's. Yeah, good for high cholesterol. You probably meet a Mama Fiorelli. Imagine if Mama Fiorelli's Christian name is Olivani. Yeah, Olivani Friar. She's not putting Olivani on the garlic bread. That's only the best butter. Bullshit.

Have we checked if that's butter or margarine? Why don't you respect Mama Fiorelli's garlic bread? The best supermarket garlic bread. It's the best supermarket garlic bread. I'm telling you every time. It doesn't deserve anybody's respect's the best supermarket garlic bread. I'm telling you every time. It doesn't deserve any of the world's respect. Look, I'll never say no to a mum of Thea Raleigh's. Oh, no, you hoover it down.

Don't talk about my eating habits. The tinfoil's barely off and sprouts three slices deep. She can get three in her mouth at once from the eat. I'm just taking a small knob. Yeah. A small knob. I used to run 12 kilometres each way in Kaitaia to see my girlfriend. Jeepers creepers.

It was worth the run, they said. Wow, you'd be all sweaty when you got there, Yuck. Very sweaty. I'm sorry to interrupt once again. There is not a drop of butter on Mama Freyre Fair Alley's garlic bread. What? Are you telling me it's marge? No! You have a wheat flour with garlic and herb spread.

Made of vegetable oil, water, salt and emulsifiers. She uses margarine! She uses marge, babe. It's a vegetable oil spread. That's what margarine is. Mama Fiorelli. Oh, yeah. What about me telling you about that woman?

What? Not even in Italian. I can't believe you about that woman. What? Not even in Italian. I can't believe that's not funny. You? Are you kidding me? You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding with the mum of the Raleigh's bread. Holy shoot. He has been working on this character.

He's cancelled now. It's got so much more depth now. It's my mafia head who is just like livid when people, you know, come to a potluck and budge out. Yeah, right. Okay. You'll give my mum a bad name. Maybe I'm just going to have to buy my own French sticks and make my own.

Yeah, that'd be a nice change. No. No, because the French is too crusty. Yeah, but what bread do you use? Get a par-baked bread. Get those little par-baked buns. I don't like those. I don't like those mini buns. Those par-baked dinner rolls. No. Christmas.

Oh, they're real. And then slice. Get a par-baked bread. Get those little par-baked buns. I don't like those. I don't like those mini buns. Those par-baked dinner rolls. No. Christmas. Oh, they're real. And then slice them open and put in your own garlic and herb butter. This is really shocking my world. You are going to blow people's socks off.

Did Fairgo know about this? This is the man who literally... There's this... What's... I've got a little... I've got a little inside information. A bit of a conundrum, shall we say. I mean, I don't...

I like Jewish. I don't know if the... God damn it. I'm a three-year-old. God damn it. Well, we're in downtown New York. You're running the deli, I'm running the mob. They're not going to take it no more. Oh, my God. Right, okay.

We have our differences, you know, but we can be friends. We've got more common ground than we've got differences, you and me. Oh, my God. Can we go now? Can we go home now? Hit the button. Happy birthday, Vaughan. Thanks, everybody. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. Can we go now? Can we go home now? Hit the button. Happy birthday, Vaughan. Thanks, everybody.

Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.