ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th January 2022

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Junk per Week  Cats know  Top 6: Mortgage  Silly Little Poll!  3/5 think they have a great Shark Tank idea  Really Mean Nicknames  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletchvorn and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's. I'm just sending a link to a TikTok of a dog riding a chicken. It's sent now. Yes, please.

It's sent now. Oh, and wait, you guys want it. Oh, you were sending it to us. Well, you just said I've just sent a great... I've sent it now to the group. I was sending it to my wife and children. So check this out.

Oh my God, it's a puppy. It's riding a chicken. Oh! It's riding a chicken. Oh my God, that's so cute. It's so gentle with the chicken. If you want to see it, cutepetowner777 on TikTok.

Very cute. Oh my God. Oh, I had. So gentle with the chicken. If you want to see a cute pet owner, 777 on TikTok. Very cute. Oh my God. Oh, I had to roll off. Yeah, roll off. That's very cute. Hey, chicken. That's very cute. My children are getting vaccinated today.

Oh, okay. About two o'clock this afternoon. I think we're going to pop down to the drive-in. Do you reckon they're small enough that when they become magnetized, they'll stick to the fridge? Hopefully. Yeah, they'll walk past and be like, boof. Yeah, well, at least if one can stick to the fridge Because then it's like

Half the babysitting right? Yeah And then the other one can just get its snacks From the fridge that it's magnetised to Maybe that's an invention A magnetic kids suit A onesie You zip it up

Put a padlock on it And then you can pop down to the shops Yeah as a pub Yeah just pop them in the fridge No harm no foul I mean you could probably Stick them to the bottom of your car At least you'll be able to. Yeah, the pub. Yeah, just pop them in the fridge. No harm, no foul. I mean, you could probably stick them to the bottom of your car. Then at least you got to see them from the pub.

Yeah. And they can tell you to turn left or right on the drive home. Right, because the pediatric vaccinations, five to 11-year-olds. They started. They started on Monday. Yeah. I have had some friends take their kids and said there were protesters screaming. I know.

About freedoms. And I said, well. From the unemployed people who are during the day have time to protest. Yeah. It's very ironic to be screaming about freedom at people who are exercising their rights to choose. To freedom. Yeah. It's completely like our girls want to get it done.

They said, can we get it done tomorrow? Also, they were the ones. Initiating it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I said, oh, you should probably get it done before you go back to we get it done tomorrow? So they were the ones like- Initiating it. Yeah, yeah. Because I said, you should probably get it done before you go back to school. Just to be on the safe side. Get the first one done. And they're like, well, should we go get it tomorrow?

I said, well, that's up to you. Do you want to get it done tomorrow? When do you want to get it done? Are they asking for a bribe, like a lolly? They're always out for a deal. Ice cream afterwards. Yeah, there was a deal. Ice cream afterwards and getting to watch TikTok while it happened

So they didn't have to Concentrate on the The needle That would actually be A good idea for some Adults as well Do kids still do The punch on the arm

Did you guys have that When you know We got your MMRs And all your vaccinations At school Rocking each other In the arm And you'd like line up

And all your class Would go through And afterwards You'd be like being vaxxed Boof Yeah Punch on the arm Wow Darn way Yeah We pulled some shit In the 90s You'd line up and all your class would go through and afterwards you'd be like being vaxxed. Boof. Yeah. Punch on the arm.

Wow. Darn way. Yeah. We pulled some shit in the 90s that just would not fly these days. Oh, I know. Would absolutely not fly. But no, there'll be no punching. I'll be making sure.

What are you going to do though if people are like protesting? Fucking kick them in the teeth? Yeah. If that upsets. That would be the same if we went anywhere for any reason and someone was like lurching at our car and scaring my kids. It wouldn't matter what it was for. I'm going to fucking let them have it. Excuse my language.

No, no, no. Fair enough. You're a passionate man. What kind of – I've got a baseball bat. I could take a baseball bat. Why do you have a baseball bat? You've never played baseball in your life. For baseball?

For all my daily baseball sessions. For all my baseball. Yeah. I think I bought it once and went to one like, I went to a batting cage once and then I was like, this is absolutely me.

I'm a fucking major league baseball. You've been to a driving range several times that you don't buy golf clubs. I've got some golf clubs. We had a baseball bat for protection as well, but we broke it.

On what? A rat. Jesus. Aaron broke a rat. Yeah, it was really full on, but the bat broke. Would it hit the ground or would it hit the rat? Both. Bit of both.

Column A, column B. That's a very hard rat. Yeah, we're taking some form of sports equipment. Okay. Maybe a hockey stick. A squash racket? Yeah, really good. Just kind of pat them.

Just pat them away. Get away. them away. Get away. Get away. Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Leave the cover on, though. Maybe fire some shuttlecocks at them. Oh, yeah. That'd teach them.

Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchborn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. We're all just exchanging stories on our sore feet.

Yeah. Well, no, I've got a sore gluteus maximus. I'm very gym legs. I'm very sore in the quad and the glute. But quite sore feet. Maybe I wore dumb shoes yesterday. This whole week has just been back to the gym and ow, ow, ow. Yeah. The massage guns had a work over. I've got one of those little electric, you know, that makes your muscles spasm.

Dr. Ho. Pardon? Dr. Ho's magical zappy machine. Oh. I don't know what that is. You stick it on and it pulses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dr. Ho invented it.

Well, there you go. I've got those. Really? And I stick them on my muscles and they go. But it feels really good. Is it better than a massage gun? No, but at the moment I'm beyond massage gun. I can't even touch them.

I'm at that point where you sit down in the loo and you're like shy. Are you stretching? No, I don't stretch. Stretching is so boring. Yeah, stretching is boring and it takes too long. I do one. You hook your foot behind your bum. One, two, three. There you go.

And then you're off. And then I'm off. Life's too short for stretching. You don't need it. I mean, physios and doctors may disagree. No, stop wasting my time. And then you see one of those hunched over old ladies. That'll be me. I've actually sort of started to see the curvature

developing. Really? Shoulders back. Yeah, there you go. Well, I've got a sore foot because a pig stood on my toe. Don't talk about Sade like that. Her fat little trotter. Wait, were you farming in jandals? Bare feet.

On the farm land. Bare feet. You stood on some animal poosies. Oh, no, you dodged the poosies. And I run a prickle-free farm. I run a prickles. Oh, that's good. So I was taking the pigs out to some food,

and one was so excited, it stood on my foot, and its hoofs went either side of my big toe, and that hurt a lot. And I was like, get off, pig. And then when it got off, it like karate. I got pig judo. Yeah, right. Pig judo chopped.

I'm going to pork chop that bloody thing. So did it break it or it's just sore? No, just sore. Just like sprained. Just like, if you put any weight on it.

Yeah, right. Is that a good enough excuse that we go to the gym today? Yeah. Yeah, I'll buy it. 100%. Yeah. Cool.

Cool. All right. Coming up on the show, the top today? Yeah. Yeah, I'll buy it. 100%. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. The top six reasons you should actually be denied a mortgage. This is hearing a lot of these stories at the moment.

Banks really rifling through your last three months of statements. Yeah. They're like, why do you need Netflix? Why do you need to go to Kmart? What's this? What's this purchase at Countdown? We got a mortgage recently and it was the last three months of bank statements was lockdown, where we'd been spending everything we had and earning absolutely nothing.

Yeah. But we got away with it. Maybe this was just before the... The rules. The new rules. We borrowed some money to do the bathroom And they were like What's this $87 here for afterpay I was like

Well that's a very good question So the bank and I Both gave Sade the evils But yeah they were Like $87 broke up Into four That's how afterpay works

Right Four things I got so many on the go And they were like I'm like $87 We're okay I was like It's all paid for It was like Taken care of But they were like, I'm like, 87? We're okay. I was like, it's all paid for.

It was like taken care of. But they were, yeah, going through the fine tune. Really tough. But I've got the top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage. Money that does not need to be spent. All right. Also coming up on the show. A woman on the internet has asked for help to find a man.

And it hasn't gone very well. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So the average person, it turns out, from a recent study, binges junk food, overindulges in unhealthy food three nights of the week. Three nights? How? What do we consider a binge? Do they have, like, more... They're saying, obviously, sweet and unhealthy snacks.

I'm not... Like, I won't binge on a sweet. I'll go to Absolute Town on a bag of chips. Yeah, same. I'm a savoury binge. That's an unhealthy snack, though, you'd say, right? Yeah, totally. But I've always...

But I wouldn't do a bag of chips three times a week. It depends on the week, really, for me. The studies found that after a day of good behaviour, most people think it's okay at night just to overindulge. This is how I justify my drinking. This is my drinking justification. Same. You've been to the gym?

Yeah, been to the gym. You've eaten well? Eaten pretty well. Yeah. I might have half a bottle of whiskey. It's Tuesday after all. Why not? The sun's out.

So six in 10, 62% feel that they always sacrifice taste over nutritional value when it comes to healthy snacks. Yeah. 41% say their cravings kick in mid-afternoon, while 19% will typically look for a treat after dinner. Yeah, see, I don't binge on sweet things, but I always need a little sweet after each savoury. So I have breakfast and then I'll be like, I just want a little sweet.

And I have lunch and then I'm like, a little sweet to finish it. What would your little sweet be after lunch? An after-dinner mint. No, do you know what my advice is? It's fizizzy Coke bottles. I'm a little lolly. Really? Yeah, I'm not like a cake or cookie or sort of muffin person.

I'm a lolly. See, I'm a slice guy. I'm not a lolly guy. Yeah, okay. I'm a chocolate. I'm a full go lollies, but I can't say no to a slice when I see it in the cabinet. I'm a slice, chocolate, lolly, muffin. You're a sweetie.

Ice crack, all of them. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. See, I'd're a sweetie. Ice crack, all of them. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. See, I'd rather go to town on like a bag of toast. A bag of toast? What? You know, like if I was going to have a binge, it would be carbs. Oh.

Like savoury carbs. But toast doesn't come in a bag. So you're breading, so you're toasting all the... But I'll eat a whole, I'll turn a whole bag of bread into a whole bag of toast. Could you eat a whole thing of bread? I reckon I could. I haven't done it for a while. But what would you have on it?

Like, would it be the... Spreads. The spicy, the fruit loaf? Probably a nut butter. Oh, okay, right. Yeah. And you'd just do a whole loaf. You're going to need a lot of water.

Yeah. That's a dry combo. Oh, yeah. But I'd rather do that than eat, like, heaps of slice and cake and all that kind of stuff. I love a slice. But at the moment, of course, we're all being very healthy this week, aren't we? We're trying. We're trying.

We're having a little stretch. Yeah. It is hard, isn't it? How healthy? How healthy are we talking? I think healthy is very boring. I'm not foregoing. It is boring, isn't it?

It's so boring. I'm not foregoing the new potatoes that I've dug out of the garden. They're smacking. But they're a gift from the earth. Yeah, that's what I think. I'm not for going the new potatoes that I've dug out of the garden. They're smacking. But they're a gift from the earth. Yeah, that's what I think. I put the effort

into growing those, right? So they are calorie free. It depends how much butter you laid in them. I'm churning my own butter. Oh no, that's free.

That's a gift. Yeah, okay. That's another gift from the earth. This is why people who live off the grid are so skinny.

Yeah. Maybe. No calories count. If you brewed your live off the grid are so skinny. Yeah. Maybe. No calories count. If you brewed your own alcohol, it's a gift. I have wanted to have my own still, like a real hillbilly. Oh no,

that's how you die. Pappy's shed. Don't go out back and Pappy's shed. I don't want to drink Pappy's bourbon. Thank you. Pappy used to be able to see,

now he's blind because of his bourbon. I can imagine you're one of those friends that starts homebrewing and nobody wants to drink it because it's terrible. Not homebrew. I wouldn't do beer. I've tried that.

Yeah, home distilling, no. Absolutely not. You don't know the alcohol content either. I've had lots of home distilled beers. That's why they go blind. And you're like, what happened last night? Yeah, and your organs are just like, no, we'll all fail. Ta-ta.

Here's a bit of a sad story. A woman on TikTok has shared an experience she's recently had while on vacation. This woman named Micah, she was frolicking about in the sea, her friend was taking a little photo shoot. Okay. A little photo shoot moment. She was looking absolutely incredible having these little photos

and her friend was filming when a very attractive man approaches her in the ocean and they are flirting up a storm for a while. I thought you were going to say a very big wave knocked her over. No, no, no, no. That's not the story.

It was a very handsome man that knocked her over. Knocked her heart over. Introduced himself to her. They were flirting. They were having a great time. He gave her his number, but she was a little bit tousled. She'd had a few too many drinks at this point,

so she forgot the number. So she posts the video. Wait, he gave her his number? Just like 02 blah, blah, blah? Yeah, because they're in the ocean. No one's got a pen. No one can remember numbers. No one's got a pen. Remembering numbers is a lost art. Even sober, I wouldn't be able to remember

a number. I know, but like she's a beauty, he's a beauty. I reckon if they were hot enough, your brain would be like, your primal heart. Remember this. Remember this. Yeah. Well, she didn't remember it, unfortunately. So she posted the video of him approaching her to TikTok

and said, help me find this sexy man. I feel like there's one of these a week. I met him on holiday here. I think he's from Detroit, Michigan. I'm not sure. I think his name is AJ, da-da-da-da-da. Right. And then she posted it.

It went viral. It was going everywhere. Everyone was trying to help her find him. And they did. And he married. He was married during the flirting. And he in trouble? He in trouble.

He married. Ah, you know boy. I know. Isn't this terrible? I mean, if you watch the video as well, he is absolutely, he has got his moves on. He, like, grabs her hand. They're dancing a little bit. Oh, okay.

Well, he might not be single soon. He might not be married soon, rather. He might be single. But she has since said that she's going to say, she is not going to reach out to him. They sent her his info and said, this is the guy. Oh, she's like, no, I'm not getting. And this is his wife. But she said, no, I'm not going to reach out to him.

But all I have to say, ladies, is don't believe in fairy tales. Imagine being busted like that. My goodness. Brilliant. It's brilliant. Don't misbehave on vacation. Anyway, his loss because she is a hottie, hottie, hottie. Right.

621 next on the show with all the things we need cures for, all the research that could be done. Some Japanese researchers have investigated whether or not your cat knows your name, knows its name. Knows its name. You know when you call it?

Rolly. I've always just thought they answered to that tone. To the tone. Because if you go... And the shake of the biscuits. They love the shake of the biscuits. They love the shake of the biscuits. Well...

Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, cat owners. Hello. Do you think that your cat knows its name when you call it? My cat's dead. I don't want to talk about cats.

Oh, boy. I was waiting for it. You still have another cat. Yeah. Bear. I can't want to talk about cats. Oh, boy. I was waiting for it. I was waiting. You still have another cat. Yeah. Bear. I can't bear to look at him either. Oh.

I thought it was a tonal thing. Raleigh. Yeah, me too. Raleigh. And a good cat's name's got, like, multiple syllables. Yeah. Because our cat Bear is like, bear. Bear.

It's hard to do. But Anakin was always like, annies. Yeah. Annies. Two syllables. Yeah. And it's around feeding time, so they respond, well, some scientists in Japan have looked into this,

and they've worked out that even cats do know their own names, even if they pretend not to. Oh, really? Sometimes they might just hear you say. They're such little. Yeah. Little S's, aren't they? We're their servants, really, aren't we?

Yeah, the attitude on them. So, yeah, they observe cats' reactions. They did all these tests with a whole bunch of cats and observed their reactions to hearing their own names compared to words of similar length and names of other cats in the same area. So they say that even the majority of cats showed that they are sentient enough to comprehend. Sentient. They're able to sort of. They're able to comprehend.

They move their ears and heads Yeah To their names more strongly to other But they ignore you still That they will ignore you at times though The attitude on these animals, eh? Our cat Rolly is having a real attitude moment Because he's locked inside

He's only got a couple more days to be locked inside In the new place In the new house Butter on the paws Butter on the paws? Yeah When they open the door, they open the doors Butter on the Paws. Butter on the Paws. Butter on the Paws. Yeah. The day they opened the doors, Butter on the Paws. Really?

I thought it was Butter on the Paws from day one. I always thought you'd keep them locked inside that familiarised themselves and then the Butter on the Paws was when they had the chance to wander because they'd give it the old lickeroo. I'm not putting Lewis Road Creamery Butter on my cat. No, no, get some Oliviano. Get some Oliviano spread. Oh, my God, just get some Pam's or Home Brand.

I'm sorry. I'm strictly Lewis Road when it comes to butter. No, we do the trick of, so he's got like a litter tray in the bathroom at the moment because he's inside, and then you take some of the litter that he's weed on and you scatter it amongst your garden so that when they go out, their scent's already there. Plus we've got this awesome spray called like Falaway

that we've always used and you spray it around like the area. So you spray it inside the house or outside the house and it makes them, it gives them the perception that they've already been there before. So that it's easy to come back. Imagine if your sense of smell is so powerful that it overpowered your sense of sight. Oh, right. Like you're like, I've been here because I can smell something.

Even though I don't know this place at all. Yeah. Everybody's sense of sight is that I've been here before for humans. I can smell Lewis Road Creamery. I think I'm going to do it today. I think I'm going to open the doors today for Ollie. I've just googled. You put butter on the cat's paws before letting him go outside for the first time. You were right, Vaughn.

Otherwise you're smearing butter on your cat for like two weeks and it's just dragging around the house, you know. It's meant to prevent your cat from running away or getting lost because the butter on the paws removes the smell of the previous home. Because it just seeps in. Oh, I thought it was they lick and they keep themselves busy

trying to get this gross stickiness off their paws. I'm worried that our cat's going to discover that there's a cat, a cat cemetery at the back of our house. What? On your property? Yeah. From the previous people? Yeah, the previous people's little cat passed away quite soon.

Suddenly. Quite soon before we bought it. But they didn't take the headstone. Quite recently. And then, no, they've left a little moment for this cat. I can't remember its name, but it's out the back. And we were like, look, we're cat lovers. We'll respect the area.

We won't disturb. But what if our cat gets in there and is like, get out of my house and digs it up. Concrete over we were like look we're cat lovers we'll respect the area and we won't disturb but what if our cat gets in there and is like get out of my house and digs it up concrete over it yeah we'll pave yeah yeah

pave over it yeah pave and then pet cemetery those um they didn't break through concrete did they any of those cats

no oh surely not but you're also not on an ancient Native American burial ground I hope I hope so too play

ZM's Fletchford and Ailey I've got a big old study in front of me here a lot of stats Ancient Native American burial ground, I hope. I hope so too. I've got a big old study in front of me here. A lot of stats. Get ready for some numbers. About social media influencing, specifically on TikTok and Instagram, about how much content we're seeing on those platforms, about how much of it is influential material,

advertising or influencers selling you a product so this could be your friends this could be your friends saying i just bought this or an actual like someone who's an influencer as a job right saying i've partnered with this sportswear brand yeah and you should buy this um a lot of people, like the difference between last year and this year is huge. So the people are saying that 25% of their content now on Instagram and TikTok is influencer material.

So there's a quarter of the stuff that you see on TikTok. Half of it, well, three quarters is dancing and showing the color of your eyeballs or something like that. Yeah, sunsets. Sunsets. Sunsets.

Yeah, breakfast. Look how beautiful my child is. And filters. Cats. Filters, lip syncs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But 25% of it now is influencer material. And is it working? Are people being influenced by it?

So last January, 4% of Instagram users said that social media influenced the way they shop, their purchasing. Only four? Only four. Okay. Which makes you think, is it a viable job? Is it doing anything? Not at 4%.

Well, now 15% of Instagram users say that social media has influenced what they buy. And that's just the ones that are aware of it. Yeah. I mean, I find it hard because in New Zealand Zealand a lot of the ads I get are for like American or UK companies. So I'll see targeted advertising or influencer material for something that is

definitely on brand. They've got me right. And I'll go, oh yes, I like the look of that. Follow the website and then you're like, oh, it's American and the shipping's like $30.

Yeah, it'll be here in eight weeks. Yeah, and it's really, really expensive. Yeah. But the power of. Yeah, it'll be here in eight weeks. Yeah, and it's really, really expensive. Yeah. But the power of the influencer, it's ever-growing. I thought it was on the verge of collapse. That's up 10% in the space of a year, in terms of how much they've influenced what we're actually buying.

Yeah. I just felt like it was almost... People were sick of it? Yeah, like it was a soaked market. So I felt like it had almost reached its... They're so clever though, the way that they do it. Well, not all of them. Sometimes it's just

a boring ass photo with their bloody food that's arrived with recipe cards and stuff. And you're just like God, put some bloody... Put your back into it. Put your back into it. No, I think I'm thinking more of the targeted advertising that I get on Instagram. They must go through who I follow and what I Google Put your back into it. No, I think I'm thinking more of the targeted advertising that I get on Instagram.

They must go through who I follow and what I Google. Yeah. Because sometimes I see things that I didn't even know I wanted. But then. And then all of a sudden you're ordering some Wish adult fun toys. Yeah, or some $500 kimono from America. And you're going, of course I need this vintage. It looks so light. It looks so light.

It looks so light. I would wear that all the time. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hey. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Today's top six.

Looking at people who have been denied mortgages of late or been questioned and they're like, hey, what? Yeah, new rules came in the end of last year to make it harder for lenders. Yeah, so like Netflix, people have talked about how they've got Netflix subscriptions or afterpay that they've paid. They've got a zero balance with afterpay,

but they have had an afterpay. That's a bad sign on the statements. A habit of spending, aren't they? A shopping habit. Is there, you know that loophole where if you don't want your partner to know you're spending money,

you go to the supermarket and you get cash out as part of the self-serve machine? Does it come up as one whole payment? Yes. Oh, there you go.

You get cash out. Yeah, so you go to the self-serve. But how much are you getting? You've got to be careful because then they're like, okay, there's only the two of you but you're spending $8,000 on groceries.

A month on groceries. Yeah, but it's better to take out $20 or $30 there than have a Netflix or a... Oh, right. You know what I mean? You can't pay for Netflix with cash, mate. You can't be like... No, but okay, so say you want a night... But say you want a night out,

you're going out on Friday night, and you need like $100 cash, just get it over the week from the supermarket at the self-serve. Rather than have the bar name come up and up and up and up. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get it over the week from the supermarket at the self-serve. Rather than have the bar name come up and up and up and up. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just looks like you've gone to the supermarket, not bar hopping.

Okay. I mean, I don't know. Someone that works at a bank is probably onto this, but. Well, if they weren't, they are now. Well, a mother was told, a new mum was told that they could get their mortgage extension if she promised she only had to have a 90-day maternity leave. Wow. I'm sorry.

This is her second kid. First child, she had, I think, six months. And then she said, I'm going to take the full 12 months off this time because I've got two children. I feel like it will be beneficial. And they were like, okay, you've got to go back to work 90 days after if you want this. Despite being legally entitled to that 12 months. Dunedin woman wanted to get a mortgage.

She's got a very small mortgage currently on a home in Dunedin. She only owed $60,000, I think. So she wanted to get a mortgage extension so she could renovate her house, do some repairs that the house badly needed. And they said, okay, what was this trip to Kmart? What? I know. Wild, yeah.

I imagine if they saw Karween at the social media desks, bank statements. You love a Kmart. You love a Kmart. Well, don't screw up your face at me. You were always talking about how you're going to do a pick up. One night you were just like, we were bored, so we went to Kmart for You love a Kmart. Well, don't screw up your face at me. You're always talking about how you're going to do a pick up. One night you were just like, we were bored, so we went to Kmart for late night. Yes, my flat and I do enjoy a little late night wander around Kmart.

It's the best time. Thank you. Not so much now because I do go to bed so early, but yeah, sometimes wandering Kmart aisles at 11pm is just so satisfying. And you can't leave empty handed because otherwise it was a waste of a trip. And the bank also look at what time the transaction happens. So they'll learn about your late night Kmart habits. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm not planning on a house here. Do people wear nighties to Kmart at 11pm? I bet they do. They wear nighties to Kmart during the day in West Auckland. They don't knock a nightie. Aghies. Don't knock a nightie.

The top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage. This is also a top six Vaughan Smith way to save money. Okay, great. In a way. Number six on the list. You're buying the expensive butter. We briefly touched on this before. When you said you're a Lewis Road Creamery snob and I've got...

I'll do home brand butter. It's all from the same factory. Yeah, it's all from the same. Yeah, but you don't get the delight of peeling off that silver glistening wrapper. Oh, alright. You came for the wrapper.

Slithering off a little nub of Lewis Road. What do you know? What's just what the other girls from St. Margaret's finding out that you're behind Pam's.

Queen Margaret's. She was a queen, not a saint. St. Margaret's. There's St. Margaret's I think in Christchurch. Oh, okay. Queen Margaret's

in Wellington. It's strictly Lewis Road. It would think, in Christchurch. Oh, okay. Queen Margaret's in Wellington. Strictly Lewis Road. It would probably be in the alumni newsletter. Yeah, when you leave, you sign a contract. Never do home brand. No more PAMs in your life. Never do budget brand. Christ's sake.

Number five on the list of the top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage. You paid for porn. Spoiler alert. It's free. It's free. It's free. And it's Constanza. Who's got an hour to watch that? They'll do you an 11-minute highlights reel. Spoiler alert. It's free. It's free. It's free. And it's Constanza. Who's got an hour to watch that?

They'll do you an 11-minute highlight reel. No, no. No, that's what I'm told. That's what Fletch said. No, Hayley told me. Oh, did she? No, you can make your own for free. Nobody wants to watch it.

Do you guys want a link? No, no, no, no, no. Number four. I'll just forward it to the group. No, no, no. And, no, no. Number four. I'll just forward it to the group. No, no, no. And you don't have to watch it. Even the, even the, not the, but. What was it?

It's a relationship I don't need to have with you to even picture it. Don't, ugh, me. It's very high production value. We both work in the film industry. Yes. You've both work in the film industry. Yes. You've both got tripods at home. Absolutely.

And as they say, time to roll over. It's Greg Grover from Nova. Oh, my God. Don't sexualise Greg Grover from Nova. He's a jolly man simply trying to sell you power. For those that don't know, that's Hayley's fiancée. It's Greg Grover from Nova. They're about to do some more, aren't they? They are about to.

Are they? Yes. Number four on the list of the top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage. We learnt this this week. You paid for women's raises when men's are cheaper and better. Yeah. Don't do it. Don't pay for the pink.

Just keep it in the shower. I don't know. If you're single, your other gal pals will see it and be like, oh, she's got a little secret fling going on. I'm not telling you who. Yeah, ooh. And then there's an air of mystery. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six legit reasons you should

be denied a mortgage, you put money on the Warriors. Yeah, like if there's a TAB statement, they'll be like, who are you betting on? Yeah. If you're saying the Warriors, then you might not get a mortgage. She's silly with money. And that's fair enough, yeah. Number two on the list of the top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage.

You've been talked into buying a bottle of water for charity at Cotton On. Why are we adding more plastic to the world in the name of charity? It sort of cancels itself out, doesn't it? I get plastic, but I give water to a small village. And there wasn't even an investigation last year on, like, massive companies that make heaps of money. When you make, like, a charitable donation through them, they can also use that to dodge tax?

I don't know. Oh, not Cotton On. The Cotton On Foundation, they do good stuff. No, no, I'm just talking about general massive multinationals. Like at the supermarket. Yeah, when they're like, do you want to round it up? Yeah, do you want to round it up? Yeah.

Do you want to round it up? I need receipts. I need to see where this is all going. You round it up and the bank's like, oh, you've spent too much on groceries here. No home for you. Yeah. Oh.

All your groceries are a nice round figure. Sounds like someone's giving to charity. No mortgage! And number one on the list of the top six legit reasons you should be denied a mortgage. You're spending more than $16 on a bottle of wine

from the supermarket. Why would you? Why would you? Don't do that. Just buy what's on special. Look for the one that's like, save $8. And now it's $16.

Or get a car. That's an absolute con, but you'll make yourself feel better. I'm sorry. Get a what? Get the cask. The country white. They fit in the fridge.

But even those are $20. Even the jack ones are $20. You get a lot in them. But you do it less often, is that what? Get the cask. The Country White. They fit in the fridge. But even those are $20. Yeah, but you get more. You get a lot in them. But you do it less often, is that what you're saying? Yeah. No, because if a cask's there, I'll drink it. Look at private schoolgirl screwing up her face. Oh, no.

Not a head of house. What year? What year is it? What year is cask Country White? They don't tell you. Well, no, on the bottom right beside the best before date, there's the manufacturing date. That's how you know a good wine.

Print it on the box, baby. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. The Somerset South Island Masters games are back. If you're ready to congregate and compete, we'll make your experience complete. The games are happening in Timaru from October the 7th till October the 16th.

Over 10 days featuring 30 different sports and five party nights, you'll catch up with old friends and make new ones. It's the ultimate event for competing and socialising. Early bird entries are open now till the end of June, so get your team together. Details at simasters.com ZM. ZM. ZM. Details at simasters.com. Alicia, good morning. Good morning. What's the fuel gauge on at the moment?

Almost A. Oh, babe. Do you leave it till the light comes on, or are you a pre-light filler? Yeah, I pretty much leave it right to the bottom. Because E doesn't mean E either. The light doesn't mean you're empty. No, no, it's just letting you know.

When it starts to shudder, that's when you know you need to fill up. Get off the motorway? Yeah. All right, well, Alicia, we've got some free fuel upgrades right now. All you've got to do is yell out stop before the fuel pump cuts off. Okay, it could cut off any time. It could cut off at 50. It could cut off at 250.

Woo! Okay, cool. So if you say stop, you get that fuel amount. Otherwise, you lose it all. Let's go. $25. $45. $70.

Stop. Stop. Oh, okay. A modest, a modest stop at $70. Yeah, that would be our lowest. I think we had somebody stop at $85. That's one of our lowest stops, I think. She's playing it safe.

You're playing it safe. You've got $75, Alicia. Free fuel. Oh, thank you so much. Let's see how high it would have gone, though. Because you might kick yourself. $85. Oh! You did good.

Yeah. You did good. You're smart. Yeah. You did good. All right, well done. $75, Alicia. We'll be back with ZMD Tank. Another chance for you to win some fuel and try to get through at 8 o'clock. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I hark from the windy hills of Wellington. I love Wellington very much. And, of course, there's the famous Wellywood sign. Yes. That caused a lot of controversy when it first came up. People thought it was tacky. Now we love it.

Wellywood. It's by the airport, that one. That's what I admire about Wellington is that they just go ahead and do things. We just do things.

And like the people were mocking the sign and it got mocked, but I think they had a greater feeling that, eh, look, let the period of mocking pass. And now you see it, and you're like, eh, like that. And it's the same with the bucket fountain.

When they built that, people were like, what's this monstrosity? No one laughed. Now it's a... No one laughed at the bucket fountain. I thought it would have absolutely riled up conservative taxpayers. They hate that sort of thing. Now it's the pride of our city. Exactly.

Well, we've added another little string to our bow in the sort of large installation art pieces. A new Wellington sign. This one can be moved. It's currently on the waterfront near Te Papa. And it's a new Wellington sign. But you will notice this one is slightly different. It is nine metres wide, two metres tall.

It's bright yellow and it says Wellington, except it's spelled W-E-L-L-N-G-T-O-N. Missing the I. Wellington. Because you are the I in Wellington. Because you are the I in Wellington. There you go, Vaughan. You got it instantly.

So that's the idea. You stand where the I is and you get your photo. So it's a grammable attraction. It's supposed to, you know, people are supposed to have fun with it and become the eye in Wellington. But my only qualm with it, it's very cool. It's bright yellow with this sort of red and blue all over it. But they haven't left a gap for the eye.

And that's what makes me think that people will think it's just a typo and that now they're trying to go, yeah, because you're the eye. But there's not enough room to stand there, a single person. Well, you're standing on the back of the L. Oh, right. So you sort of wedge in between the L and the N. Well, can they move it?

Can they just make a gap? No, because it's mounted on like a thing. Oh, no. It would require a remounting. And, you know, each letter weighs about 100 kgs, each letter. Is that because people are going to climb on them? Yeah.

Yeah, right, okay. So it's supposed to be an interactive thing that, you know, you come in and you say, here's Wellington, I love Wellington, eye in the eye in Wellington. But they haven't left a gap. Oh, that's going to really annoy me. I thought that they'd left a gap.

The gap would make it obvious. And what if someone doesn't look like the letter I? More like an O. More of an O. Walong Tong. Wallong Tong. Wallong Tong. It's a very Wellington-looking sign, I've got to say. Very eclectic, very flashy.

I like it. I like it too. But I need the gap. Yeah. It was made by a company called Human Dynamo. There it is. There's someone being the I. Yeah, there's no me, no me. What else is Human Dynamo. There it is. There's someone being the eye. Yeah, there's no...

What else is Human Dynamo made? The L is longer. So you stand on the second L. So there's kind of a gap, but not really. Yeah. Kind of. But there's no, like, actual obvious gap. They've explained in Wellington, we do quirky.

And that sums up Wellington, doesn't it? It does. We're a quirky wee city. I say that. I haven't lived there for four and a half years now. I still say wee. It is my home. Human Dynamo rules.

They've done some cool stuff. Very cool. Like shark models. They did a little model of the sun. They've done like that, the chook wagon. You know, they look like they've done a bit of work on that thing. Oh, yeah. They just do like creative installations and stuff.

Well, look, if you're heading down to the Wellington waterfront, go and get a snap and be the I in Wellington. Or the O. Or the O. Yeah, the whatever. Or the U. You be whatever. You kind of have to be a vowel.

Yeah. How many people can you get on that owl? Do you reckon couples can do this? Big families will take over the whole thing though, won't they? Yeah, but that sort of defeats the purpose because that's not the eye, is it? No, you have to have individual photos. Anyway, I like it. We're arty.

We're quirky. We're sitting. Silly Little Pole is next on the show. Can we just ask a question? And you just give us the yes or the no. You pick one of the two options available. Do you remember the Silly Little Pole? Do you remember?

Yeah. What it is? Yeah. Do I say it now? Well, why don't you go to our Instagram account and vote? Oh, yeah. Oh, a little tease. Yeah, a little tease. They're going to go there to find out now.

That's a little tease. I don't know if they will. They will. Thousands. Thousands will flop. We have Hugh around the block. We've got a silly little poll here. One question.

Two possible answers. And we're calling it silly little poll. Silly little poll. So we've got an intro. We've not heard this. This has been commissioned out. We commissioned this work. Now, producer Jared, you're saying this is very

long. Yeah, so this is the long version and we've got a short version for when this one isn't as magical. Appropriate. Oh, okay. Alright. Well, I'm very excited about this. This is the long version of the commission silly little poll intro. Yes.

Right, like when they do, you know when they do a long TV ad and then they do a short one? Yes. I don't like that because then you're like, oh, they've left out all the good bits. Or like the long version of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. He orders an orange juice on the plane. I didn't know. And it comes in a champagne glass. And it comes in a champagne glass. And it comes in a champagne glass.

That new Fresh Prince looks shit, by the way. It looks so bad. I don't agree how bad that looks. We digress. Anyway, there's no need to do that. No, there little ball. Silly little ball, silly little ball. Silly little ball. Well done.

Yes, I love that. It's got to be the long one every time. It's got to be the long one. Play me the short one. I don't want the short one, but play me the short one. What's happened? Have you got something in your eye, doll? Are you crying?

No, I'm just waiting. I'm itching my eye. What happened? No, you've gone really frantic on your eye. Oh, no, it's just itchy. It's really red. Sore eyes is a new sign of Omicron. Oh, no.

It is. It is. Omicron eye. I don't have Omicron. It's like you do one sneeze and everyone looks at you like you're a leper. I've got the short version. I'm rocking out to you. Sledge, Fodder, and Hayley.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. No, it's going to be the long version. Shall I go back to the long version? Long version again. One more long one. One more long one. That's a silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll. There's more silly little polls than you expect.

I love that, I love that so much. My aim for, would be for the intro to be longer than the actual segment and then we play the intro as the outro. Yeah, perfect. Oh yeah, okay, right, you're nice. That would be the... Well, today's silly little poll. Do you believe in love at first sight? 43% yes, 57% no.

Play the outro. No, but we've got to talk about it. We've got to talk about it. Okay, yeah. So when I voted on this yesterday, it was far more in favour of no. It was like upper 60s. Oh, wow, okay.

It seems the people who believe in first sight are late in the day voters. Maybe they were too busy getting it on and being in love. Has everybody that voted yes, they believe in love at first sight, have they experienced that or are they just hopeful? Like they've been brought up on all these movies. I'd say it's hopeful. It's hopeful, right? I know this because it's not true.

Yeah. Because love at first sight doesn't exist. So I think they're hopeful until they realise that it doesn't exist. That's when you haven't experienced it. I have say it's hopeful. It's hopeful, right? I know this because it's not true. Yeah. Because love at first sight doesn't exist. So I think they're hopeful until they realise that it doesn't exist. That's because you haven't experienced it. I have experienced a 11-year relationship. And that takes work. I know it takes work. But then you do hear about relationships where people are just like,

immediately it's all go. Yeah. Yeah. So it must think, lust, perhaps lust evolves into love and you confuse the lust at the beginning as love throughout. When you saw your now wife at the outback. I was like, what a hot little tamale. That's what I said to myself.

I want a little bit of that. 22-year-old douchebag Vaughn was like, she's pretty, what a hot little tamale. So was that love at first sight? No. It was lust. It was, yeah. It was horny at first sight probably. Stupid Then it was lust. It was, yeah. Yeah. It was horny at first sight, probably. Stupid idiot, little 22-year-old fool.

I don't know if that TV show is going to work as much. Horny at first sight. Yeah. Yeah. Same for me, 21-year-old Hayley. Just saw a big boy. Big boy. Look at that big boy.

He's the biggest boy I've ever seen. I'm going to climb that big boy. I'm going to climb that mountain. I'm going to have me some Sasquatch. What about you, Fletch? Oh, yeah, absolutely believe in it. No, no, we'll stop. You'll tell them anyway to get them home, eh?

I voted no. I voted no. I voted no. Did you vote no? I voted no. Yeah. For a moment, I thought you'd voted yes there. No, no, I voted no.

Okay, so these are some of the responses from people who did vote yes. Okay. Liana I thought you'd voted yes there. No, no, I voted no. Okay, so these are some of the responses from people who did vote yes. Okay. Liana, yes, yes, yes. First time I saw my now hubby, I knew I wanted to marry him. 17 years later, we're married with two kids. Oh, is that psycho? Or really lovely?

We've been together 14 years. Oh, that's quite sweet. So they've been together 14 years, but it's 17 years later. So she saw him and there was a three-year... Restraining order? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

She got full on for a while. Maybe. Oh, Kim. I've rolled my eyes, Kim. It was love at first sight with both of my children. That's not the same. That's different. That's different.

You created them. You're legally obliged to love them. Yeah, and they're all slimy. That's... You're gross. That's different. That's different. You've created them. You're legally obliged to love them. Yeah, and they're all slimy. That's gross. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Yeah.

That's not love. You've got to. Oh, no. I was saying you. That's adrenaline. It's what's the cuddle? Oxytocin. No, it sounds like the thing Americans are addicted to, but it's oxytocin.

Oxytocin. Oxytocin. Very similar. Yeah. A love drug. Ashley writes, I never did believe in first love. Yeah. Until I met up for a coffee date.

He was in his work clothes, so nothing special, but he was wearing orange sunglasses. My favourite colour. Orange sunglasses. I need to see these orange sunglasses. They sound like they're from a service station. Yeah. And they're $10. Yeah.

I was hooked immediately. We just got married last October. No, see, those aren't orange. I'm thinking fluoro orange. Ashley, can we see a picture of the orange sunglasses? Ashley would be. You'd be in love with me. Because it's my favourite colour.

Damn. It doesn't reel in the rest of us. Cherie said, love, no. Hot as hell, lust, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Lust is immediate.

But that's the Jenny's talking, isn't it? Oh, Jenny. I thought you said Jenny. It's like Jenny's where there's some sort of Jenny community. Jennifer's have all got together. I'm like, all right, guys. welcome to the AGM of Jenny's. So love at first sight. Do you believe in it?

Our silly little poll. Majority say no. Silly, silly, silly, that silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. It's a great intro and outro long, and it will always be the long version. Play it. CDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Three to five people believe they have an idea good enough to go on Shark Tank. Oh, yes. They believe they have an entrepreneurial invention or concept. With COVID and lockdowns, people got very entrepreneurial. Their side hustles. We talked a lot about that last year. We did our fishy tank take off. I must say, the duvet dumbs, which was one of the ones we...

They are so good. Yeah. Finally, I got, they sent me some. Yeah. And I put, I finally put them on. Yeah. Because Sade said, don't do it yet because we're getting a new duvet. Right.

So I didn't, but then we got the new duvet and I put them on. Like, there is no bunching. Okay, I need this. This is an unpaid endorsement. I'm literally going home. I've got to spare one. I've got to spare one. I need it.

No, no, let, because then Hayley will be supporting the local business. No, yeah, let me buy it. Let me buy it. Duvet Dimes. Yeah. Is that the company? Yeah.

Make your bed in a snap. Yeah. Yeah, good stuff. So I watch a lot of Shark Tank and they say the key is, does it solve a problem? That's what you're looking for when you're coming out with a...

Is that what the investors are saying? Yeah, they're going like, because everyone's got an invention, as you say, investors are saying? Yeah, they're going like, because everyone's got an invention, as you say, but if it already exists, they're always less interested. So does it solve a problem? Somebody's messaged in, Bravo show this most days, Shark Tank. For those that haven't seen the show,

like Dragon's Den, people come on, pitch their business ideas. It's actually really fun, Wikipedia, to see what it's called around the world. Oh, right. Different names. Like an animal that's like the alpha predator. Yeah. Generally it's called around the world. Oh, right. Different names. Like an animal that's like the alpha predator. Yeah. Generally it's named after that. Right.

Yeah, like dragons then, lions. Beaver tank. The kidadoos cave. The beaver tank. Come on the beaver cave. Or not, and pitch your business idea. I'm good, I'm good, thanks. The beavers say no. The beavers are circling. The beavers chewed their way

through that idea. Well, three in five people in the study think they've got the next big business idea. You watch a lot of this Hayley. I watch so much. You don't strike me as someone that's always coming up with business entrepreneurial ideas. You don't think I'm an ideas woman? No, you're an ideas

person but you're not, like you don't keep saying I've got this idea for a cafe. No, no. No, I'm more of a creative person than a sort of like, yeah, a business ideas person. Yeah, I'm an ideas guy.

No follow through. Lots of ideas. Oh yeah, I'm too lazy to do any of that hard work. But that's the thing, all you need to do to come up with a good idea is think of something

that really annoys you every day and think of a way to solve it. Like, oh, I hate carrying shopping bags. Here's the bag carrier. Yeah, you'd think that everything's invented, eh? And then someone comes out and you're like, how did I not think of that? But I need this. Well, we were at a barbecue just a few days ago and producer Jared hits us with his shark tank idea. Yeah, and I instantly was interested. I was a shark and I was surfing. He said he had one, but we needed a couple of drinks in him to get it out because he thought this was his million dollar idea. And then old three beer Jared came out with confidence.

And he was mowed down by the dragons. Well, why don't you tell the Beaver Tank and the nation your idea for Shark Tank? Where do we go with Beaver Tank? So protein powder always comes in a massive bucket. But if you're like me, once you've had a few scoops and a few glasses of protein, you get a bit sick of the flavor. I believe there should be a protein tub divider. So one side has French vanilla and the other side has hot chocolate or whatever.

And then you could be like, today I feel like a Choccy Protes or a vanilla Protes or half a scooper each have a hot Choccy vanilla Protes. But you don't have to buy three massive tubs of progette. This is what I said to Jared, is you just buy two different tubs of flavour. But I am poor. And they take up so much space.

Like, what pantry is rocking enough space for three tubs of protein? So you've technically invented Neapolitan ice cream for protein. Yes! Neo-protein. Neo-protes. Neo-protes, yeah. Don't call it neo-protes. It sounds like it's protein for neo-Nazis.

Yeah, this is true. Here at the Beaver Cave, I'll tell you immediately. I'm the marketing expert at the Beaver Cave. I'll make you an offer. I'd like to invest $1,000 for 60% of your company. You do realise you've got to make the protein. Yeah, I know. It's not just a divider.

You can just buy the protein and repack it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone asked us the protein science stuff. You can't re... Our business is the buckets. Yeah, with the pre-built divides. Why don't you just email Balance or the people that make the protein and be like, can you just do this?

No, because he's giving away his million dollar idea. He's giving away his million dollar idea. I've got to work on a patent. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, come back dollar idea. I've got to work on a patent. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, come back to me when you've got the patent. For a divided plastic container, I'm pretty sure there'd already be one. I think that's a great idea.

I think it's a really good idea. A woman from New York. A woman from New York A woman from New York Has shared online A cruel nickname she was given As a child Okay Now she, like myself

Experiences some Excess hair growth Right And this obviously was back when she was a kid And things like laser didn't exist. And things like just embracing it didn't exist, to be fair. And she was given the name Chewbacca. I didn't even laugh.

You did. I also think that's the high praise. Chewbacca's little laugh. Chewbacca's absolutely essential to the Star Wars story. It's a great character. Someone to look up to. I mean, kids were horrible. Oh, that's, yeah, that's quite mean though, isn't it?

Everyone had a nickname at school. Mine was so lame. At primary school, it was Gailey Smells. Was there a little bit of homophobia at the front end there? Well, no, I think it was just Hailey Sproul, Gailey Smells. It just rhymed. It just rhymes. I don't know if it was a homophobic slur or anything like that.

Right. And then smell because when you're at primary school, the thought of smelling was the worst possible thing. I got called Scarface Claw, toughest Tom in town. I got a scar on my face. I thought that was quite clever actually. I thought that was because you backed up to things and pissed on them. Also that. Oh, and that's making more sense now.

Yeah, and you were always like trying to rough up neighbourhood dogs. I assumed it was because of the scar on my face. Did you guys have one? Nothing rhymes with my first name, Carl. Apart from snarl. Yeah, I can't remember. It's the perfect name for anti-rhyming.

You can't, honestly, you just can't do it. Carl Fletcher. Yeah, you can't. It doesn't need a rhyme. You could have done something or looked a certain way. I don't remember one sticking. Yeah. So nothing traumatic enough.

Anna's just put one on the group chat. Banal Carl. I don't know if kids would just put one on the group chat, banal Carl. I don't know if kids would have come up with the word banal. Kids wouldn't have come up with that word, no. Yeah. So I escaped that. Vaughn? Vaughn?

Pawn Vaughn? Yeah, Pawn-o-Vaughn-o. That was said like once, but it didn't stick. Because I learned pretty early, you don't react. Nah. If you react to names, that's when they stick. Don't feed the fire. Yeah.

Producers, do we have any names? Any names? Jared? On the mean streets of South, where did you come from? On the mean streets of South Africa? Zimbabwe? Nah, I got called like pit stop stop you've come to the right place oh because you're like you're last in this pick stop yeah you've come to the right place that's

hot actually that's a hot that's a good one but that's not cruel right no i would have got annoying if it was happening non-stop but it's not like a it's not like? I got weaner a lot. Oh, carweener. Don't laugh! Don't laugh? What's yours? You know I can't do that on the radio. She did share off-air what hers is and it's too

illicit. Yeah, I have no idea that that's what that meant. No, we can't even go there. It's not a good one., let alone teenagers saying that. But I also got called Chicken Singlet because of my last name. That was quite harsh as well. Chicken Singlet? Chicken Singlet. Envest.

Oh, my God. It took so long. I know. Chicken Singlet. Envest. I don't even like. That would be annoying annoying but I like it so cute

yeah oh my god that's really funny I once found a photo of a chicken in a little like high-vis and made my profile picture

oh yes you did took down the bullies yeah you've got to embrace it otherwise they'll yeah I remember

there was a girl at school called oh she won't mind Catherine Atkinson recorded Catherine Accident and kept saying that her parents didn't want her. How do you know that? She was our friend.

She was our friend. That's traumatic. That's a lot. She was our friend. Right. Well, on the back of this, this hairy woman called Chewbacca, teased. That's not her name, Fletch.

Sorry, teased. She was teased. With a mean nickname. With a mean nickname. With a mean nickname. And now she's come back and she has embraced her body hair. Yeah. And she's like. You were just telling me off.

Sorry, I'm sorry. It's too easy. So we want to know this morning. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text as well. 9696. What was your really mean nickname? yeah

and we will we won't laugh we will not laugh unless it's chicken singlet unless it's really clever chicken singlet like if it's

other levels of chicken singlet like that's I would've alright give us a call with your really mean nickname what was it? we're talking your really mean nicknames

that you had as a kid we really appreciate everybody facing their traumas this morning. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, there are some, like, some quite clever ones, but then some really mean ones.

And some that shall not even be spoken again. No. Yeah. My last name is Proujean, I assume this is pronounced. Okay. But, of course, I got called Poojeans. Oh, yeah. It looks like a proujean. Yeah, course I got called Poo Jeans Because it looks like a pru-jean Yeah right

So Poo Jeans Lots of people Sorry, sorry, sorry Lots of people messaging in Who suffered from teenage acne With a range of acne based I don't remember clearly But I hope I didn't get involved

In any of that name calling It's horrible Because it's completely out of their choice Well you can't help it can you Hannah what was your really mean nickname at school Mine wasn't at school It was from my family But mine was nipples

Your family even called you nipples Yeah they still call me it to the day And I'm 33 almost Why? Kayla you ask why It feels inappropriate before the night Hannah open up to me babe Why did they call you nipples?

I was about 8 and I got given my first bikini From my sister-in-law And I didn't know how to put it on properly And I come running out, and I was going, my nipples won't fit in this. How were you trying to put it on? I didn't know what to do with it. And you're eight years old.

Yeah. How small was this bikini? You were wearing it backwards. It was pretty tiny. I had to have help to try and put it on, because I was, like, flat-chested. But I didn't know help to try and put it on because I was like flat chested. But I didn't know what boobies were then. So I was like, my nipples don't fit.

The nipples. The nipples. Yeah, they are just nipples at that point. Wow, and then to this day, you're still called nipples. Yep. Wow. Do they even write it on your Christmas presents? Do nipples from mum?

Yep. And when I got married, it was in my wedding speeches. Oh, nipples. Amazing. Hannah, I was about to call you wedding speeches. Oh, nipples. Amazing. Hannah, I was about to call you nipples. Hannah, thank you for sharing. Matt, what was your really mean nickname as a kid? When I was younger, I was a really big boy,

and people used to call me Wai-da-matter-harbour. Oh, because of Matt. Matt. Yeah. But it's Wai-da-matter- harbour. Oh. Because of Matt. Matter. Yeah. Wider. Yeah. But it's wider matter harbour. It's all right.

I've grown into a prince now. Oh, yeah. You've showed them. You've showed them. Yeah. I took it on board and made myself a new man. And, yeah.

Good times, mate. Good for you, Matt. So, what, you're pro-bullying now Matt? Matt hey bullying goes two ways it'll back you into the corner or make you the man you are today. Brilliant. Matt thanks for your call

some messages in. My name's Stephanie so I got Stiffanny or Stiffy there was lots of that going around lots of Stiffy being chucked around. You laughed first at that one. I didn't.

My name is Toya Desai so I just got called Toyota Diesel. Some that can't be ripped because they just make really horrible things to people who say so. You're doing a lot

of scrolling. My last name's Tonks. Tonka Truck.ks Tonka Truck Got Tonka Truck the whole time We went to school with the King family And none of them were called Wayne But all of them were called Wayne Yeah

Yeah, that one can't be read out There's like cruel ones But there's also like really racist ones. Oh, okay. My name's Tony and my nickname is BTT. Big tits Tony. Oh, Tony. Tony.

Heard from a few people, last name's Mark. And so they all got called Skid. Oh, yeah. Okay. Skid Mark. This feels like a hangover from the 80s and 90s, to be fair, where bullying was rife. Yeah.

Yeah. It's still... But what was better? The bullying, you'd go to school, you could try your best to avoid the people that would, you know, do it and make you feel bad. Or like now where if you want to be active online, sometimes there's no escaping it.

Yeah. Online bullying is far worse than... Tits Tony or whatever he was. Well, they could call you that from America now. But Big Tits Tony was a girl. Oh, sorry. With an I. I was imagining Tony was a boy. Yeah.

She made it just a little bit. Teresa Tickle went to school, but everyone called her Tess Tickle. Oh, yeah. Okay. The parents didn't think when they were naming Tess there, did they? No. You'd skip T altogether, wouldn't you?

Like, what's her name? The comedian, Amy Schumer. Do you remember this? Oh, yeah. That's right. She had her son and called him Gene, and then his last name is Fisher, and they made his middle name Atul.

Yeah. Gene Atul Fisher. Genital Fisher. Genital Fisher. And then, like, everyone was like, hey, genital Fisher, and she was like, oh, and so she changed it. That's bad. Always run the test.

I thought it was a gag. Oh, no. Are you debating whether or not you read out the last text? One day people started calling me Afghan and I had no idea why. And it seemed like there was some agreement that no one was going to tell me why I was called Afghan. It turns out someone had

seen my nips and said they looked like Afghan whiskers. Why are you nodding? You're familiar with this. I'm familiar with the Afghan nip. Does it have a cornflake on it? A dollop of icing? Somewhat. And a walnut. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan

and Hayley. Play ZM's Zimtitsack. Chanel joins us. Good morning, Chanel. Good morning. All right. How brave are you? I'm pretty brave. Okay.

How much of a risk taker are you? Yeah, I'd say yeah. With all the confidence in the world, Chanel. Somebody tapped out at seven and got their hands on, what, $75? $75. With a fuel? And it buzzed them out at $7 and got their hands on, what, $75? $75. With fuel. And it buzzed them out at $85. Pretty low.

But, I mean, heck, it could buzz out at $50. It could buzz out at... Hundreds. Hundreds. So, Chanel, when you say stop, you get that cash amount. You get that free fuel on us. But if the pump buzzes and cuts off, you lose out. Let's go.

$15. Ooh. $35. $130. $130. That jumped so quick. God, that jumped. That took a leap of faith.

$130. Well done. It could have gone into the millions, though. I don't know if it would have, Vaughan. I don't know if it would have. We could have made you a billionaire. You could have retired. Well, let's see how high it would have gone, Chanel.

$165. $190. It's still going. $205. $235. $235. Oh, Chanel. $100. Hey, Chanel, $130, so that'll fill the tank up.

Congratulations, all yours. Thank you so much, guys. Another chance for you to play and win that free fuel tomorrow. It could go into the millions. It could go. Dare I say it? Billions. Well, it could.

I mean, it could. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. As I've been mentioning My cat's locked inside It's What day is it? It's nearly two weeks That he's been inside

Which is a sort of recommended Keep them inside When you move house So he's an outdoor cat Most of his life So we have to get him A litter tray when he's inside You know a kitty litter tray

And he has to My cat used to have one of those But it's dead now So I don't want to Stop going on About your dead cat He's dead now, so I don't want to talk about it. Stop going on about your dead cat. He's dead. You can't live cat shame me. I'm not going to be, I'm not going to squash

my love for my cat. It must be nice. It must be nice, you know. It is nice. It must be nice how the other half live with their cats. You've still got an alive cat. Exactly, and three dogs. And the other cat, you just ignored anyway for the last ten years. Yeah.

We had an agreement. We had an agreement. And now that agreement is gone because he's dead. We had an agreement to live parallel lives under the same roof. Well, maybe it's time. Maybe it's time for you. Well, my cat, so

he's gotten used to the litter box, and he always gets a little bit coy and like, don't watch me, Mum, don't watch me. Yeah. But we're having an issue with it. For a couple of days, we were noticing that he hadn't been doing his poops in the tray. Sometimes they do that if their schedule or their anxiousness comes in. Yeah, and his eating's off and stuff.

So we were like, let's not worry about it too much. And then I was in the bathroom doing my ablutions. Swift ablutions. Were they a swift ablution? Always swift. I'm always swift. Really? Yeah, yeah. I don't sit down unless I know. Right. Unless it's dangerous how I've got, you know. Yeah, gotcha. And then very

swift. Yeah, yeah. And the door was ajar as I am entitled to do. Or it's your house. Yeah, and then my cat Rolly came in as I was ab to do. Or it's your house. Yeah. And then my cat, Rolly, came in as I was ablutioning and he,

because the litter tray is in the bathroom. Oh yeah. And he hopped on the litter tray and abluted with me. So he sort of abluted and I was like, well, this is great. Good for you, Rolly. I flushed and I picked up his and I flushed and I was like,

look at us. A KG lighter. Yeah. A KG? Jesus, how much? A lot of fibre in my diet. Yeah, right. Okay.

And then I think it must have been a couple of days later, I was again in the bathroom, post-shower. Pre-shower? Post-shower. No, it was post-shower. You can't ablute post-shower. You've got to have another shower. I can't time these things.

I've told you, I've got health issues. Right. And I was sitting abluting, and then he came again and abluted. At the same time? At the same time. So now, Rolly is fully in synced. I have the alpha bowel system, and it has made his bowel system sync up with mine. Right, you've got the more powerful

I've got the more powerful bowel system. So you've synced with your cat. So the cat will wait until you use the toilet I don't know if it's a aroma led thing, but he comes into the bathroom not daily, but on the reg at the moment.

You've synced. We've synced. That's nice, isn't it? It's quite a nice little time to spend together. I'd love to sync with my cat, but he's dead. Okay. The only thing that's sort of a little bit... Were you even upset when your cat died? I actually was, really.

I was, like... Because that was your first pet as a couple, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Annie's, yeah. It was like nearly... I was very, very upset. I found him and he wasn't it yeah yeah yeah Annie's yeah he was like nearly yeah I was very very upset I found him

and he wasn't in a good way he'd gone missing he'd done that classic thing where he'd taken himself off to die oh yeah that's what I'm gonna do I don't know why humans

don't do this they'll never find me when I take myself off to die as my last challenge it's the last great game of hide and seek I will leave a note I'm like

game on and my grandkids will find it. And they're like, oh, my God, he's been talking about this forever. And I'll say, you'll never find me. Love, granddad. P.S., you will get nothing. No, the one who finds me gets it all. And then I take myself off and I die.

Where will you go? I'm weighing myself down and I'm going straight to a deep body of water. That's very dark. One of you kids have a scuba paddy course because you're going to need it to find grandad's decomposing underwater course. But I feel like if you're going to follow the life of the cats, you're either going to be under the house, you know? That's where I found out. And let's be honest, by the time you're this old, you'll even have trouble getting under the house. I will hire someone to drag me under the house.

But they do. The dying cats, they hobble themselves. Kidneys are failing. Heart's pumping out. That's what happened to Annie's. Yeah, that's what happened to our cat. And then our cat, Shaq. Shaq.

Oh, I thought you said our cat, Shaq. I was like, you have talked quite a bit about that already. Like Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille was her name. Her name, Shaq. That's all right. I named it. I was a basketball fan in the 90s. She tookille was her name. Her name, Shaq. That's all right. I named it. I was a basketball fan in the 90s.

She took herself away to die. We never found her. And it was horrendously unresolved. Yeah, never found her. You want the body, don't you? Yeah, you need the carcass. Well, you want the closure. Because you don't know that your cat's not living in South America on a beach.

They might turn up one day. Not me. When I go, I won't turn up. Unless somehow my corpse gets out of the chains and waits. And then I float to the surface. I've made a terrible mistake. And go through the bloody propeller of a fullest fairy. And then.

Who gets the money? The fullest fairy person that fishes me out. It's only fair. Whoever finds me gets the treasures. What a fairy person that fishes me out. It's only fair. Whoever finds me gets the treasures. What a way to go. Just wanted to quickly touch on this. Someone messaged in there. They know a thing or two about cats.

Yeah. You're the alpha and you can provide protection to him when he does his business and feels like he's in a new area that needs to be protected. He's not familiar with the threats of the area. That's why when cats do their business, they're always looking a certain way, eh? Like, they're looking for predators. Yeah, but it is weird when he sort of looks my way

because, you know, they really, like, get down on their haunches and they're like, he just sort of looks at me. Isn't that the thing when cats, no, is it dogs look you in the eye? It's because they're like, you've got my back here. When they're pooping and dogs eye contact you? I'm terrible at eye contact. I don't know if I could do that. Yeah.

It's very confronting. Okay. Well, as a man who is one month today away from turning the sweet age of 40, and what do they say about 40? It's the new 30. 30? Yeah. 28.

We're living longer. Are we happy to be living longer? Not always. But we're living longer. And I also enjoy drink. There's a study into what drinking does to the body after you turn 40. I don't know what I want to talk about it. You're all right for another month.

This article only really pertains to... So you're saying... Don't look at me. It's a flitch. So anyone in the... Oh, no, the whole team. Oh, so just me? So just you.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it pertains to everybody because even if you're not 40 or over, you will be. You will be 40 one day? Not the way I'm drinking in my 30s. Well, okay. So the NIH, I was thinking it was the. That's the National Health People.

Who are they? What nation do they belong to though? I don't know. This is a UK study. Yeah. Yeah, UK. It's the UK study. Well, it's just kind of like.

I'm reading a stat. Say the stat if it made you gasp. I'm like you've got to have something. This is me in lockdown. I was like, this is the only thing I have to look forward to in the day. The stat that made me gasp

was an average of 108 bottles of wine per person per year. Wow. Let me just get up the maths on that. 108 bottles of wine per person per year. Wow. Wow. Let me just get up the maths on that. So they're going, that's because around 40, maybe you've had kids in your mid-20s. So this is maybe, I don't know, feels a little bit out of date

because we're having kids a bit later now. But that, you know, your kids are less demanding of you as they get older, so you've got more time to drink. Or they're just more punishing. So you need to dull the pain. Dull the pain. How many bottles of wine did you say? 108 bottles of wine per person.

So what's that, 7.5 standard drinks? Are they the big bottles that you've been buying? Those are magnums. That's a loophole. Magnums of rosé, that's a loophole. Statistical loophole there. That's a loophole. So that's every three days

People are polishing off A bottle of wine A bottle of wine Wow Rather than I don't want to deliver the bad news So why don't you deliver the bad stats And I'll give you the silver lining

Okay It could be worse It could be a bottle a night So as for the So the older generations currently Over 65s Most likely to drink Five consecutive nights a week. Well, and have the weekends off.

Okay, silver lining. They don't say what night. Over 65, that's the retirement age. They don't have to get up for work the next day. What have they got to do? Oh, it makes you more depressed. I was going to say, what does it do to you? Not if you keep drinking.

Yeah, you've stopped too early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why is it worse When you're over 40 I'm just trying to figure that out As you've passed It's because It's because of the It's because your body doesn't

It's why everything's worse When you get older It's why when you're a kid You can sleep like Like Have you ever My kids do it They'll sleep in the car

Or like Fall asleep somewhere They're upside down All their weight's on their neck They Um Are underwater They're Under a heat lamp Just the most awful upside down, all their weights on their neck. They are underwater. They're under a heat lamp.

Just the most awful sleeping conditions. And they wake up and they're like, I sleep like slightly sideways. And I wake up and my lower back's like, what's happening here? My neck's like, oh. This is genuinely the thing. It's not that at 40

Things are getting worse It's that you start to pay the greater price Of the drinking you did in your 20s and 30s So it's an accumulative effect So you start drinking at 18 Sure Alright then Start drinking at 18 and you get to this accumulative effect

On your liver Or the scar tissue and fat and inflammation. So by the time you're 40, that's when you're really going to start paying the price. Isn't scar tissue harder? It's like leathery. It's like pump, pump, pump. Yeah, you can't get through it.

I don't know. Well. And you're just basically not regenerating all the things that alcohol impacts. You're not regenerating them at the same kind of rate. Yeah, that all slows down. This is pretty light-hearted. No, no, it's a very serious issue.

Alcohol. I was listening to a podcast recently, and they were going through the points of that. This was American, so I always feel like they hype it up a little bit. But they were talking about alcoholic bullet points. Oh, yeah. And I was like, this is worryingly a lot of my...

Of for you. Yeah. Oh, right. But then I just had to go, and I was like, this is worryingly a lot of my. Of for you? Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. But then I just had to go and I was like, look, this is American. They get very hyped up about everything. It's all. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Just tone it down a little bit. I don't smoke. This is the other thing that you do. You justify it by saying all the stuff you don't do. Go to the gym. I don't do drugs. Yeah, you go to the gym.

Yeah. I eat. All right. Probably too much. A lot of do. Go to the gym. I don't do drugs. Yeah, you go to the gym. Yeah. I eat all right, probably too much. A lot of meat. A lot of meat. Yeah. Yeah. Look, you're enjoying yourself, aren't you? Yep.

And the sooner I, like, you know, die, the sooner we can play Find Grandad. Do you know, in general... Find Grandad, get the treasure. After we turn 40, we've got less fluid in the body, less water, which is why hangovers are so much worse after 40. I've gone the other way. I'm the same.

My hangovers are getting like far more. I can like get a full day's stuff done. Yeah, right. And the hangovers aren't as bad. I remember in the 20s. Well, you've got a month to enjoy that because I think I might have hit my sweet spot now. Maybe. It's going to get worse again.

Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Here. Today's Fact of the Day is about the sexy topic of postcodes. Ooh, postcodes. Ooh, I know my postcode. What's your postcode? Let me guess.

It starts with... Oh, my God. You're a 100, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a 10-10. 10. I'm a 10-10. 10, I was just about to say. You're a 100, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a 10-10. I'm a 10-10. 10, I was just about to say. You share Central Auckland, 10. You share that with Waiheke Island's urban population and Rokino Island. Oh, I don't have any post boxes.

Oh, they're on Rokino. Because I love to, if I'm sending something around the country and they don't give me a postcode, I'll Google it. I'll use the postcode finder. Because you've always got to put the postcode. Well, since 2008, yes, you have had to always put the postcode. You may remember a New Zealand Post campaign, remember your postcode, there was a $10,000 prize if they randomly contacted you and you could say your postcode.

I didn't know that. Wow, I didn't know that. 2008. I could do that. I could win. Yeah. I could do it. Yeah.

I feel like with online shopping though, we all know our postcode, right? Absolutely. Until online shopping was a thing, no one gave an F. Do you know your parents' postcode? Four something. Four three. Is there a seven in there? Two seven?

Seven two. Seven five. Because I don't know. I don't know. Something like that. That's the bit that changes. Yeah. The last two digis.

I know it's 4-2 something. So there are, in New Zealand, 1,856 postcodes. Ooh. When we have a postcode here, what about America? Does someone else have the same postcode as us somewhere in the world? No, they've got the zip code. Oh, do they? Because whenever I put in my postcode first, oh, wait, it might have been my old one, 0610,

it would bring up an Auckland option and a South African option. Have you guys ever tried to send anything to London or England? It's like WPQRS4572QRS. I think Australia is the same. Yeah, it's really random. No, Aussie's got similar to us. Yeah, Aussie's got longer numbers, just long numbers, eh? Oh, yeah, no, they do.

Yeah, is it Britain that's got all the numbers? Yeah, Britain's got... I wonder if it's because it's so old. Yeah. The post system there's so old that it's all... And then if I'm ever on an American website and it won't let you put in the four-digit PIN, I always just put in 90210

because I remember the TV show, Beverly Hills 90210. Yeah. Do you do the same? That's the only US postcard I know. That's the only US postcard. Yes. Well, today's fact of the day is there are 16 unused starts to New Zealand postcards.

Starts. Like the first two letters. So it starts 01, that's a Whangarei. Yeah. And then it ends at 98, Invercargill, Bluff, Edendale, Riverton, Windermans, Stewart Island all fall under 9-8. And then whatever numbers after that. Yeah, yeah, and then the two numbers after that.

But 0-0, 9-9, not used. There's no postcodes in New Zealand to start with that. Now, that could kind of be expected. Yeah. Explain to me why. Here we go. Postcodes starting in 2-7,

2-8, and 2-9 completely unused. Oh. Mmm. Explain to me why there's another cluster 65,

66, 67, 68. Do you know the answer? Completely unused. I don't know the answer. Oh, no. Here's the confusing part.

See, the fact of the day is asking us to explain to you. The fact of the day is asking us to explain to you. The fact of the day is there are 16 unused starts to postcodes in New Zealand. Why? What have they got? Are they hoping for some growth in some central areas? Here's the confusing part.

Wellington, urban Wellington, 6-0. Wellington, PO Box, Central and West has got 6-1. PO Box, Wellington's also got 6-2 for South and East. 63, unused. And then where does like the, okay. Where does 64 come in? Wellington has 6-4 as a PO Box. And then 6-5, 6-6, 6-7, 6-8, unused.

Wellington pops in again, 69. Nice. Nice. Who's at 70? Nelson. Nelson, right. Okay. in against 69. Nice. Who's at 70? Nelson. And Wakefield. Well, I've got to know why there are gaps. Why are there gaps?

There's a gap in the middle of Christchurch as well. There's 83 and 87 that are unused in the Christchurch postcode rundown. Get the Postmaster General on the show. Do we have one of those? I don't know. Can we get a number, please, for the Postmaster General? Whilst that confused me,

here's another thing I found confusing because I looked up Moransville, which shares its postcode with Te Arawa. You would expect, this is Springfield and Shelbyville.

These are two towns right beside each other with a fierce rivalry. However, also, piggybacking in on 3-3, Taupo and Turangi, which are miles away. And there's heaps of postcodes in between.

How are they allocated? We need a postcode reshuffle! We need the Postmaster General to explain why there are gaps. Don't you think it should go 01, the top of the country, down to 99, the bottom? That's kind of how it works, generally. But there are these weird gaps.

Gaps and discrepancies. Or maybe one day they were like, well, there might be some towns in the middle of both islands. There might be more areas. There definitely will be the way we're growing. Yeah. You know? So maybe one day those gaps will be filled.

That would be my guess. If you're familiar, though, okay, just to hear your point, but then automatically have a rebuttal, Pukekohe, 26. Yeah. The next one, there's a gap there, 27, 28, 29 not used, 30 Rotorua. Yeah, but it could be in the sky, couldn't it? It might not be on the ground. No, but there's all, Moransville, as previously mentioned,

it's 3-3, fits in between. Yeah, but they could be hovering. Those two of them went straight from Pukekohe to Rotorua. No, they'd be hovering cities. Where's Hamilton? What's Hamilton? Hamilton's 3-3. It fits in between those two. Yeah, but they could be hovering. They went straight from Pukekohe to Rotorua. No, they'd be hovering cities. Where's Hamilton? What's Hamilton? Hamilton's 3-2. Nobody sends mail to Hamilton.

Yeah, they don't have a mail system. No. They gave that up. They've got pneumatic tubes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Hamilton City of the Future. Yeah. How bizarre.

I know, and I didn't even think. Well, now I need to know the answer. I know. It's going to annoy the hell out of me. I know. If we were a podcast, we'd do some sort of deep dive and have weeks and weeks and weeks of effort. I don't know if even we could extend that to weeks and weeks of...

No, no, no, no. All the work. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. And then it gets put into a 40-minute podcast. Okay, right. But we can make an hour podcast a day that's just talking a bunch of bullshit.

Take that, people who put effort into their podcast. So today's fact of the day is there are 16 yet-to-be-allocated two-digit starts in the New Zealand postcode system. Fact of the day, day, day, Tay, ugh. And the eye roll. You could hear the eye roll from a kilometre away. It's very, very sweet. A photo has gone viral on Twitter,

and it's of a man who is on a plane and he is standing. So the person who posted it took this photo and said, this guy stood for the whole six-hour flight so that his wife could sleep. Now, that is love. And his wife is across the, you know, the two seats. So the threes, it's a threes. Oh, she could have moved. It's like Titanic.

She could have put the legs on him and he could have sat down. Yeah, but look, it's the most beautiful photo. This man is looking and he's looking. That's the beautiful, but he's just watching his wife. Oh, God. And she snoozes and she gets to sleep. He sounds like he's just been rolled.

He sounds like he's a broken man. He stood for six hours so that she could stretch out and sleep. It's had so many relikes and replies. People are saying this is true love. Oh, I hope to have a husband like that one day. A lot of other people are saying she could have rested her head on his lap.

Yeah, would you have let your fiance do that? No, he's got a bad back. He's standing anyway most of the time on a flight because of a bad back, but not for me. For his back. Yeah. We're not an acts of service kind of couple. That's one of the

love languages, right? It is, yeah. So he's definitely an acts of service kind of couple. That's one of the love languages, right? It is, yeah. So he's definitely an acts of service kind of guy. Yeah, I mean, that's... I feel like, because we do want to open up the phone lines now and take those bleh stories of those times when your partner has gone above and beyond. But not just like, I was having a bad day and he bought me a hottie and a bouquet of flowers.

Like, we want, we're going to get the bin in and I want to throw up. Yeah. Put a little chunny in the bin. I want to have a little chunny. Like the kind of standing for six hours on a flight so you can sleep in the seats that you were allocated. That kind of sickening. That's a monstrous sacrifice. Do you think Kiwis would, do you think Kiwis are like that though?

This is what I mean. This is a very like. I don't know if we're going to get any calls. Kiwis aren, do you think Kiwis are like that though? This is what I mean, this is a very like I don't know if we're going to get any calls. Kiwis aren't that like lovey-dovey are they? A bit more low-key. A bit more low-key. Like if someone was doing that on a flight here, wouldn't people just be looking at you like, oh we? And the flight attendant would be like, can you sit down sir?

Yeah, you're in the way there. Trolley's got to go up and down. I feel like producer Jared with his MIDI would have a story like this. You're always doing sickening stuff like this. Yeah, there's just so many options that I can't narrow it down to one. Oh my god.

To your most romantic. I'm trying to think of the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. Are you struggling? What about you, executive producer Anya? The only thing that springs to mind is when we were walking from town. You know when Uber's surging and you're like, I'll just walk a K

and then it'll be sweet? I'll walk off the surge. Yeah. And you're still walking, like an hour later you're like, whatever. Yeah, but you've saved $8 so it's all worth it. We were doing that and my feet were really hurting so my boyfriend took off his town shoes, gave them to me.

I had some sweet clippity cluppities. And he walked through disgusting Auckland City in his socks. Oh, wow. Like a damn night. Yeah. I'm sorry you had to wear town shoes, though. Thank you. Were they pointy at the ends?

They were. Oh, I knew it. Yes. I knew it. Were they laced or elasticated? They were laced. They were it. Yes. I knew it. Were they laced or elasticated? They were laced. They were laced. They were absolutely laced.

I would have said no. All right, well, 0800 DARS at M. We want to take your calls now. 0800 DARS at M. 9696 to text. When has your partner gone above and beyond? Tell us these lovely stories, and we'll do a little vomit in our mouths

at how sickening the love is. Oh my God. It's my, yeah. Maybe I'll cry. I've cried every day this week.

Maybe this is gonna be my cry. Did you cry yesterday? Yeah. Oh, but that, yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. What?

I went to a funeral. Oh. Yeah. Oh, my cat died. So I know what this, I know what it's like. Your cat died a month ago. I know what it's like to experience loss. I think you need to move on.

I'm milking it. I'm milking it. Do you need some grief counselling? I don't know. I don't know if I'm just like pushing it all down. Do you need to take bereavement leave from work? Yes. Do not encourage that.

Bereavement leave. We're talking about the most romantic thing your partner has done for you after it was a photo of a man who stood for six hours on a flight so that his tired wife could have a schnoz. The whole row. Yeah, so she was lying down. A triple row, not even just a double. Yeah, there was room for him to sit and her legs be on his lap.

Tell that to Jack on the Titanic. Yeah, there's room for both of them. There's room for both to sit and her legs be on his lap. Tell that to Jack on the Titanic. Yeah, there's room for both of them. There's room for both of them. So we asked you, when did your partner go above and beyond? These sickening love stories. We want to chuck. We want to chuck. I was so drunk I vomited all over myself

and did a floor angel in the vomit. Oh! Sorry, I think they've got the wrong number. That's not the question we asked. My husband picked me up, showered me, cleaned up the mess, put me into bed, and never made a big deal out of it. That's true love. See, that's true love.

Whereas you... Getting some simp to stand up and playing for five hours so you can have a nun eyes, that's just like... It's a little bit pathetic and weak. It is. I would not do that. You'd clean up and hold over and then hold it against them, wouldn't you? I don't know if I'd

do that. I'd certainly hold it against them. Yeah, I think Aaron would maybe clean me up because I'd have to sleep next to him and that would be annoying for him, but I'd hear about it the next day. I'd drag Shardane to the shower, turn it on and just go to bed. No, no. She's not going to.

That's amazing. You've just had a renovation. I would have just hosed her off on the outside deck. I assume this happened in the

bathroom though. I'm not dragging her over a carpeted area. Not if she's done a vomit angel in your carpet.

If it's outside, straight cold hose. Straight hose. Push her in the pool. I know because then I'm going to

have to deal with the pool. The pH will be up It's the vomit I'm not running I'm not putting the filter through that stress That's fair

I love that pool That's fair I'd do anything for that pool I'd probably love that pool I'd do anything If the pool did a vomit I'd clean up the pool's vomit

Anonymous When did your partner go above and beyond? Hey guys Hi My husband went above and beyond and took a criminal charge for me, which is now on his name forever and ever.

Forever and ever? Forever and ever? What did you do? I'm not sure if I should say this on air, but I was driving, and I was a little bit worried that I might be slightly over the limit when I came up to a cop stop,

and so we jumped out the car, swapped seats and he took the blame for me and in the end he was well over and I was well under. Oh my god, plot twist! Are you kidding me? And then the worst part about it is he never even made me feel bad about it

even though for eight months after he couldn't drive. So he wasn't driving and you blew under. Yeah. But you were just like, oh, I did have a drink or two drinks. I'm a bit worried. I had Japanese sake and I didn't know whether, like, what. Sake is so easy to drink.

You don't know. You feel like it's not doing anything. Can you believe, like, are those, you know, the home breath testing kits, are they, like, legit? Can you get a cheap one of those? Or just don't drink anything if you're driving. So they, like, legit. Can you get a cheap one of those? Or just don't drink anything if your driving's a pretty good rule. Just don't drink drive.

Well, yeah, just don't even have one or two glasses. Just to be safe. And so your partner just never made you feel bad for it? No, and he should have, but he never did. But maybe it was because then after that, he had, like, a sober driver for eight months because I just had to drive him everywhere. So maybe he actually picked me up.

Wow. That's a big gesture. It is. More than standing on a plane. I wonder if they separate and divorce, if he can give her that conviction in the divorce. Yeah. You get the conviction.

I get the conviction. Talking about the times when your partner's gone above and beyond, a man standing for six hours an entire flight so his wife can just sleep get the kids. Talking about the times when your partner's gone above and beyond a man standing for six hours an entire flight so his wife can just sleep on the seats. There was room for both. What a romantic gesture though. Some calls before we get into the text.

Olivia, when did your partner go above and beyond? Hi. So I suffer from chronic pain and endometriosis. Oh mate. And for a while I would pass out in the shower just from, like, the heat and the pain. Oh, Jesus. So my lovely boyfriend of six years now would spring a chair and sit in the bathroom with me while I showered so that he could catch me in case I fainted.

Oh. See, I like that. Yeah, I like that story. That didn't make me want to vomit in a bucket. No, that made me, I like that. Yeah, I like that story. That didn't make me want to vomit in a bucket. No, that made me really happy for you.

Yeah. He's lovely. He's a keeper. Yeah, keeper. Plus, he gets to see you nude, so,

like, there's something in this for everybody. Probably a good incentive for him. Right? Literal tit for tat. Tit for catch.

Yeah, there you go. Brilliant, Olivia, thank you. Luca, when did your partner go above and beyond? No, it was for catch. Yeah, there you go. Brilliant, Olivia. Thank you. Luca, when did your partner go above and beyond? No, it was actually me. Oh, okay.

I spent two hours in the Macca's drive-thru after lockdown to bring her, like, a nice, like, her first Macca's meal in weeks. Wow, because after lockdown, the drive-thru lines were, like, round the block, round the street. Insane. Kiwi Bank, New Zealander of the year. It's what I found out

when I got there. Yeah, it was horrendous, wasn't it? Yeah, all of them had problems, didn't they? And so you were just like,

well, it doesn't matter. I love them. No, it gets worse. It gets worse. Oh, okay.

When I got there, I found out she's cheating on me. Oh! How did you find this out? Were you like, um, quarter pounder and a meat chicken and they were like, wait a minute, you don't go out with Sue, do you? Yeah, How did you find this out? Were you like Quarter pounder And a McChicken

And they were like Wait a minute You don't go out with Sue do you? Yeah why is that? Oh my god I've been sleeping with her She asked me to bring

A McDonald's as well Oh my god How did you find out She's been jerking on you At McDonald's She told me What you were like Here's your quarter pounder.

And she's like, oh, my God, thanks so much. But it's such a congester. I can't go on with this weight on my shoulders. I've been cheating on you. Pretty much. Oh, my God. You're too good for me. Did you get some nuggies for yourself, though?

Yes. Oh, yeah. It was worth the while. It was worth the wait then. I would have taken the food back. It was semi-worth it. Wow. So sorry to hear that.

Yeah. Yeah. Luca, thanks for your call. Wow. So sorry to hear that. Yeah. Yeah. Luca, thanks for your call. Let's go to Catherine. Catherine. Hi. When did your partner go above and beyond for you? Well, we were in Turkey.

We were doing our Middle East OE. And we'd been Egypt, been through, and then we'd come up through Jordan or Syria. Good rocket travel in our face. Catherine, the cat thing's a lot smaller than you think, isn't it? The Sphinx. The what thing? The Sphinx in Egypt.

Oh, yes. I was so disappointed. Wait, wait, how many are we talking about? How many are we talking, Catherine? Everybody says it's a lot smaller than you think. It's like the Mona Lisa. No, it was very, very disappointing. But, you know, so we got through Egypt. We went through Syria. We didn't get killed there. It's like the Mona Lisa.

Oh, yeah. Ablutions. Yes. Very, too swift. So we sat in the backpacks for two days. And then I'm like, I'm good, I'm good. We'll go down and I'll try to eat some rice. So we went down the road. I ate some rice.

And I was like, oh, no, no, no. And then he was like, we'll go, we'll go. And I'm like, yep. And we got halfway home. And I was just like, oh, no. And it just happened. It was literally like bridesmaid. It just, and it was like.

Oh, cash through. So bad. And I didn't know what to do. So he just kind of, we just tried to do what we could on the side of the road. And then he took his shorts off. So he wore his boxers. And I wore the shorts back to that. So the backpack was not the worst thing.

The backpack people kind of knew how I'd been feeling, and they were like, oh, are you feeling better today? Are you going to go out for tea? And I was like, yeah. And then we walked in, and Nathan was like, nothing to see here, nothing to see here, and he took me to the garden shed and just hosed me down and then took me inside. Oh, he hosed you down. just hosed me down and then took me inside and I got chipped. Oh, he hosed you down.

He hosed me down. Wow, he really did go above and beyond, didn't he? He did, he did. That was good, but I think everybody has a Middle East going like that, so.

Right. Did you return the shorts to him or were they burn-worthy afterwards? I think his were probably fine. Mine didn't come out of Turkey. No. Yeah.

My little short story. I'm still in Cappadocia. Thank you. Well, that's what they say. If you can travel together and get through this. That's right. No, I'm married and connected. Ah, lovely.

Catherine, thank you for sharing. A couple of texts to finish. The Sphinx is 73 metres long from paw to tail, but the paws do come out quite a bit at the front. Yeah, yeah. And what about the height? 20 metres high. Yeah, see that's higher

than I thought. Yeah, but that's not I feel like massive. You're comparing it to the pyramid. You're expecting a pyramid sized spring. It's smaller than you think too

apparently. They did it with their bare hands and we're like, nah, it sucks. They did it five, nearly 5,000 years ago and you're like, nah, not looking good.

Nah, the edges are a bit rough. Meh. It doesn't look too much like a cat. Meh. Okay. Now that we've got that out of the way. You got that out of your system? Yep.

You used to have a cat. Maybe I'll erect a Sphinx-esque. Anakin. Tribute. To Anakin. It was made out of sandstone. So I could probably pop to Central Landscape Supplies, get a large slab of sandstone and start carving this afternoon.

But you can't use tools. You've got to do it the same way. I was going to use chisel. They would have had tools. No, they fingered. It was just fingers. They scratched it. They didn't finger the shavings.

They itched it together. Yeah, get real. They didn't do that. Give us some romance. Give us some more romance. Somebody else shit themselves too. Lots of them are like, that is to me, that's really taking someone at their,

and rather than making fun of them at their worst. You help them. Yeah. My partner lets me dress sexy and flirt with his best friend. Okay. And we joke about it later. But for real, he never gets mad or forces me to the groceries or any shopping.

He'll happily leave me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Never makes a big deal out of it. Wow, okay. Eight to each their own. What's in it for this guy? Executive Internania

is saying we're late so should we keep talking? Yeah. I reckon we could do a tight ten on the great sphinx of Giza. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.