ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th July 2022

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Top 6: TrademeIce Swims  Chris Parker!  Don't get Fletch Started!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. I want to say a special thank you to Show Engraver. He's been the Show Engraver for God. Oh, many years. Yeah, as long as I can remember.

Many years. Alex Perkins, Epic Engravers. I've actually been meaning to ask him if he can engrave rock. Rock? Why would you want to engrave a rock? Well, I've got Owlcat Anakin Pass, so I don't want to talk about it. It's still fresh. But I want to, he's got a little rock headstone.

Okay. I was going to ask if you could engrave rock. I don't know if you, maybe with a laser you might be able to. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like a laser engraved headstone. Okay. And I was going to ask if you could engrave rock. I don't know if you, maybe with a laser you might be able to. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like a laser engraved headstone. Yeah, I'm not thinking like the old school stonemason. That's how they used to write books. Yeah.

What? On rocks, on tablets. Yeah. Oh yeah, like the Ten Commandments. Yeah. Yeah. And now we've got an Apple iPad. You just get an iPad, don't you?

Yeah, you do. Come a long way, haven't we? Oh gosh, yeah. Come a long way from the original tablet. I can't say what I've had a trophy made from Alex. I can't say what it is. No, absolutely not. What about

when it's done and the dust has settled? At Christmas. If the dust has settled at Christmas, I will say the trophy that Alex has made. We should start promising things. Put this on a list, and we'll do a special podcast at the end of the year

where we reveal all of the things we said we'd tell you at Christmas. Yes. Oh, yeah, okay, great idea. A little Christmas gift to the nation as we reveal. Reveal all the things that we kind of like alluded. Okay, I'll add another thing to the Christmas list You might hear it alluded to during the show today That there's tension between Hayley and I

Put that on the Christmas list And I'll tell everybody what that's about at Christmas We'll call it the Christmas list Do you know what we could start? A Google document Does anyone know how to do that? I know how I was wondering if this would ever come back to bite me in the ass.

Well, executive intern Anya, now producer Anna, has just learned today. Not only did she get a pay rise and a position, but she's got a new name. She's learned today that Vaughn has never accessed our Google Drive. I've got access to it. That's the most important part. But not only that, you have made a Excel spreadsheet for your nerd fest activities

with producer Jared and your Dungeons and Dragons mates. Yeah, because there was a problem where me and Johnny, who is another one of our Dungeons and Dragons players, we'd often get quite boozed during Dungeons & Dragons and not remember what we'd done, so I started this Word document. Oh, my God, look at that.

I Googled how to make an effective Dungeons & Dragons document. Oh, my God, you've got a bloody template. You're such a nerd. I actually inserted a table, all right, so I did that, and then there's places there, places we've been and things that happened there, like things to remember. There's the people we've all met, the characters. All the times Vaughn could have found something out from the Google Docs

and he's asked you instead of accessing them. It honestly kills me. Okay, so hang on, Anna, you've done a meditation. I did. So we just want to keep you in that place. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Yeah, look, Vaughn, this might be the thing that tips me over the edge.

Hey there, thanks for gifting yourself these next few minutes. And this is what's getting me back. She's gifting herself a couple of minutes. Leave it to her. This is the only thing that gets me through the day, Vaughan Smith, because you asked me all these inane questions that can all be answered with the resources provided to you. But see, you're going to look back and realise one day

that I was doing this so you felt wanted and needed a lot. Oh, my God. So you're saying you're validating her work. I'm validating her work. I'm validating her work. So the only way she's going to get work satisfaction is if you validate it by making her feel like she's doing something. Hells yes.

The keystone. The keystone of the bridge smith. From the bottom of my heart, Vaughan, thank you so much. That is absolutely my pleasure. You're gifting yourself a couple of minutes, but that's the real gift. I think you're going to say from the bottom of my heart, get fucked. That's what she did say.

I definitely picked up on a get fucked, even though the words weren't said. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Lee. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Might be a bit of a quiet show because Vaughan's chewed his tongue off. I woke up from my two hour nap yesterday. I'm confused. I thought I was in Christchurch. Is it because we were talking about our bangers bingo trip?

Possibly. Maybe before you went home. I was hot because I'd fallen asleep with the dehumidifier on, so I thought I was in Christchurch in summer. I don't know, the Northwesterly was blowing? Yeah, okay. And I chewed my tongue, so I don't know if I'd been on the pingers the night before in this dream.

I don't know, but yeah. It's a bit better today, but I can still get sore. Are you going to be a bit lispy maybe? Yeah. Yeah, I could sound like I've got a mouth full of tongue. I've woken up and I've chewed the inside of my left cheek. So I also feel a little bit sort of sick. Were you guys having anxious dreams maybe?

I can't remember any dreams as part of the night. I have been having anxious dreams because Aaron's still away at the moment. So I'm home alone. And there was a shadow outside my window. And I was like, well, here we go. Now I die. And so I kept waking up every hour being like, there's someone outside my house. Right.

Last night I dreamt I was running a gold mine and I wasn't finding the good pay dirt. Because I've finished Big Timber, I'm back onto Gold Rush. Right, okay. With my outdoor, environmentally very impactful reality TV shows. Yeah. Yeah, but I wasn't finding the pay dirt.

God, the stress in the mind. Right, okay. I got it. Well, maybe you need a TV show that's a bit more relaxing. Well, Stranger Things, but then I dream about

the Lechner thing. I finished it yesterday. Oh, I got one and a half to go. Far out. It was like a two hour finisher. See, the last, second to last, I got one and a half to go. Far out. It was like a two-hour finisher. Second to the last episode's an hour and a half, and the last one's two and a bit.

Yeah. Movies. Feature links. All right, coming up on the show, joined in studio today after 7.30 by comedian Chris Parker. Don't know him. You've never, you definitely, certainly don't know him. Certainly didn't go to drama school with him.

No, you hardly know him. No, barely. I think he's a young up-and-comer. Yeah. Does he have a social media I could follow? He may do, he may do. He may do. We're talking to him about the new season of Taskmaster.

That's so good. So after 7.30, he'll join us on the show. The top six is coming up. Yeah, Trade Me have said that you won't be able to sell your Nazi memorabilia anymore. I was holding out until mine boosted in prices again. Bugger. But I've got the top six other things you probably shouldn't be able to sell on Trade Me. All right, next on the show, though, somebody has worked out the ideal age that you should start drinking.

Yeah. And it's not 15. Is it not? It's not even under 20. I don't know what you're saying. I started at 18, the legal age. Well, a study's been done, and it's found the ideal age to start drinking.

Well, they set it at 18 in our country, so you would assume some thought went into that and it would be 18. Yeah, and then America, you can buy a gun at 16, but you can't drink until you're 21. Wow. Well, you don't want to be drunk with a gun. No.

Until you're 21. You want to learn how to handle the gun for a few years before you can handle it with a couple of beers in you. Yes. Well, a new study has found that the drinking age should be set or that people should not drink until the age of 40. But I'm 32. You're 32 and you love a wine.

So is this like for health reasons? Yeah. So the new study has found that avoiding booze is the only way for younger people to avoid risking damage to their health. They say that just one drink a day is too much for anyone under 40, but there are, it does say, some health benefits for those over 40. But I wouldn't drink a drink a day. But I might drink 12 on one day.

12 on one day, yeah, yeah. And then zero on another day. Yeah. So the study believes that the people that should be listening most to this should be young men, as they are most likely to drink to excess, particularly

in those Western and Central Europe and Australasian countries. That's us, that's us. Party boys. They estimate that 1.34 billion people consumed harmful levels of alcohol in 2020 alone. Yeah, but they're saying you shouldn't even have... That was in a pandemic, though.

Yeah, exactly. What else were we supposed to do? Yeah. Talk. And life, you know. But they're saying harmful levels, but they're also saying don't even have one. Yeah.

They need to get their story straight, I reckon. I reckon this study is a bit premature and needs another look. Well, they say in over 40s, a glass or two of red wine a day can protect against cardiovascular disease. I know, but that's been around for years. I know, yeah. And then there's another study the next week that says, no, wine is not healthy for you. Yeah, well, they're saying dark grapes are the best ones. So that rules out Prosecco because that's light, isn't it?

But I'm all about the light grapes. I love a Chenin Blanc, you know? What is that? Well, you've got to hold off now until you're 40. Gosh. I've got years to go. You guys are all right now. Yeah.

You've only just started drinking. Vaughan's pickled. Yeah, well, I want it to warm up. I don't think it's great that you enter the game with cold legs, you know. I want it to do a quick couple of blocks. A couple of blocks for a couple of decades. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeepers.

Just a quick little warm up and we're away laughing. All right, well, next time you go to the supermarket and grab some wine, don't be alarmed if they ask for ID if you look under 40. Under 40? Yeah. What is it usually if you look under 25? Yeah, they say that, yeah. I still get ID'd Do you?

Every now and then Less and less Looked so old that at the self-serve when I was getting a bottle of wine The lady apologised to me for having to come over Oh really? Sorry about this Sorry about this old man Yeah, sorry about this pops

To be fair though, if you were rocking that beard at high school It'd be full noise Yeah Could you grow a beard at high school, it would be full noise. Yeah. Could you grow a beard at high school? Nah, sideburns. A little wispy, a little wispy mo. When I – Your mum's got sideburns.

Yep. Lovely big lamb chops. It's her Irish ancestry. Another thing she and I have in common. When I handed off my children to my parents the other day at our meeting spot in Mercer, which we saw three other people handing off their children to their grandparents. Oh, gorgeous.

It's a great Auckland, Waikato area to meet to switch your children out for holidays. Did you all give each other a little nod and head to the pub? Tip of the hat, yeah. Hockano? Mm-hmm. My mum also said to my kids, who do you think this is? And she'd been cleaning out her garage and found an old photo album, and it was a photo of me as a very awkward teenager.

And Indy and August just didn't know who it was. And they're like, that's your dad. And then they cracked up laughing. And then they were like, wow, cool guy, cool guy. I was like, excuse me. It started, it started. Show everyone photos of you when you're an awkward teenager too. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, I don't know if you've heard, but it's pretty hot in the UK right now. And in Europe. Yeah, we talked to our UK correspondent yesterday, didn't we? Runway melted. Runway melted. Couldn't land the planes. The UK hit its highest ever temperature yesterday of 40.2 degrees.

Wow. And there are extreme heat warnings issued in France And the Netherlands And deadly wildfires in France, Portugal, Spain and Greece And thousands have evacuated Yikes Yeah I didn't even think about the fires I just thought people would be like

Oof, it's hot It'll be crossover guys It'll be crossover This is what I learnt from Big Timber Oh yeah, okay When they don't clean the floor of the forest. No. No.

What do you think, Kymit? That's what Donald Trump said when he was causing forest fires. People weren't picking up the sticks and stuff that fell off trees. It was pretty good stuff. No, it's where the humidity drops below the temperature. Oh, right.

It's just like absolute. It's dry. I've never heard of it, but yeah, it's not like Auckland, you know, it's the humidity that'll get you. No, because I looked yesterday at France and their humidity was like 20% when it was like nearly 40 degrees. So there you go.

The crossover is when that exact moment where the humidity would have dipped below the temperature. Right. The Netherlands also had the hottest day on record yesterday with 38.9. And Wales, there was know themselves. Yeah. It's nuts, isn't it? It's bloody nuts. Well, a lot of people, I've been reading like a lot of Aussies in particular who deal with 41, 42 degree heat

all the time have been sharing tips on how to keep cool, including buying a beer fridge and emptying out the shelves and just getting in it. Sat in a fridge. That's a nice idea. It would be quite nice. A lot of people buying paddling pools.

Yeah. There was a guy who made a pool for 10,000 pounds and he was like, well, this will just get me through it. Because a lot of Aussies and Kiwis do the inflatable pool. Yeah, or like the ones with the framing but they're not permanent. And you just chuck one of those in the backyard for a few weeks. Yeah, but one piece of advice that a doctor in the UK has very publicly and very loudly said,

please don't do this, is putting, they call them ice lollies, but like popsicles in your fanny. Don't do it. I'll put a dollar in the fanny jar. I'll put two dollars. Anna is shaking her head. Producer Anna doesn't like you saying that F word. Vagin.

Okay, vagin. So she's like, don't do it. So people are doing this to cool down. Yeah, and this is not the first time people have done this. So apparently people... Because you could get frostbite, right? Yeah, so you're... Are we going with vagin?

Your vagin is a very delicate and sensitive area. The skin is very sensitive. It can't be putting frosty frozen. You want to put raspberry popsicle. A raspberry ice block in there. Would you go fruit juice? The grapefruit and the chocolate. I would have gone with lemonade.

I would have gone with lemonade. No, I'd go, what were those sticks? I'd go Memphis Meltdown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'd steer well away from chocolate because it doesn't melt out. The big gooey. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'd stay well away from chocolate because it doesn't melt out like you really need it.

The big gooey. Yeah, but it would be gooey. It would be gooey. Grandma's big gooey raspberry. Well, it depends. It's caramel or raspberry, isn't it? Yeah.

It truly depends. I know the one you think of. It'll look like a rocket ship. Yeah, no, the ones that were just like a stick in plastic and you cut the top off. How juicy. And slide them up. Yeah, yeah, the ones that were just like a stick and plastic and you cut the top off. Are juicy.

And slide them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all the flavour would go before you got to the bottom. Yeah. They're saying there's so much that could go wrong. You could burn, like do an ice burn on the inside of your... I have to go with fanny. Fanny's the word that works for me.

That's $4 in the jar. Ouch. And also the sugars as they dissolve because you're hot and it's warm in there. Ants. No, not ants. Ants is not the issue. It's your pH balance

which is usually, tell you what, perfect. I've got a couple of spare pH balances for the pool. I don't know if it got out of whack

because of the popsicle, maybe you could chuck one of those up there. Run the filter for eight hours. Yeah. Chuck in a bit of chlorine. Yeah, right. But that's also going to be hard if you've been carried away to an ant hide.

Well, yeah, if the ants have got you, then we'll probably have to re-evaluate that entire situation. Got you from the inside. Well, no, they carry you away while you're sleeping. Yeah, from within. They descend to sugar. This is, I mean, I get it. I kind of get it because when I'm cold or hot, I do

cool down or warm up from the groin. Since I was a child. What, like a hot water bottle? Yeah, so like if I was in the winter, I often straddle the heater. And if it warms from the groin, you'll warm the whole body. And when I'm hot in the winter, I'll get an ice pack.

But you won't touch the heater, you'll just stand over the heater. I'll sit on it. On the oil fin? Yeah, with pants on. Oh, the winter, I'll get an ice pack. But you won't touch the heater. You'll just stand over the heater. I'll sit on it. On the oil fin? Yeah. With pants on. Oh, you know, I assume with pants on. It's not just flesh to bar. Isn't that hot? Yeah, but...

Too hot. But it warms you. Yeah, right. And then same thing. If I'm really, really hot in the summer, I'll get an ice pack and I put it between my legs. Sit on it. Like, sit with it. Like, sit on it.

Wow, okay. When the fanny is cool, the body is cool. Well, we've learnt a lot. I think I've got enough to pay for lunch today. Don't put thingies up your... Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

People are also sunscreening their pigs. They're absolutely slathering the pigs in sunscreen. Because they get pig, can't they? Yeah, they get sunscreen. They're fleshy. They're gingers. Same with white horses that have like a really pink nose. Yeah, they're saying as well, like with your cat,

because we have to sunblock Raleigh's nose because he's got a white nose. Yeah. Every summer. But does he just lick it all off? Eventually. Right. But you hope some of it remains. Yeah.

A couple have had a monthly pizza written into their wedding. I don't, I, it says a wedding contract, but I assume they had a contract written. I didn't sign a wedding contract. Isn't that like a prenup? What's a, it's, do you mean the vowels when you sign your registry thing? What is that?

No, that's if it has a marriage certificate is what you sign. Right. But the marriage certificate is sort of like pre-printed. It's very generic. I mean, you definitely could have your own one. This is in another country, though, so it might be different. True, yes.

Maybe they've just made a contract. A contract's something that two people sign, isn't it? Yeah, they could have just had it drawn up. Yeah. This was a one pizza a month agreement. Who's providing the pizza? But also, is this a limit to one pizza a month? If they agreed they won't be eating any more than one pizza a month?

Because surely a pizza a month is no. That's easy. That's rookie numbers. Yeah, easy. And what couple would say no? Who would say no to a pizza night? Yeah, why does it need to be in there? Maybe one of them is like a health freak.

Yeah. Maybe one's a health freak. Yeah. And then one of them's like, no, well, I demand a pizza at least once a month. Right. Well, no, they, Shanti is the 24 year old bride. She is described as a pizza fanatic. Okay. She's eating pizza once a month. That makes me a pizza psychopath. Yeah. But when she said it has to be at least, we've already had two pizzas and we've been married two weeks. Oh, right. Yeah, I would have gone

weekly. Yeah, weekly pizza. Yeah, it's a pizza on a Sunday. Instead of a Ross. Like a Sunday... Fun day. Like a scheduled hard Sunday pizza night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, instead of a Sunday riced. Maybe a Friday pizza night?

Pizza's more of a Friday-Saturday thing. More of a Saturday roast. Maybe a Friday pizza. It's a Friday. Pizza's more of a Friday, Saturday thing. More of a Saturday, especially if you went out on Friday. Yeah. Lazy, lazy pizza. The good thing about a pizza is it can be paired with anything. Yeah. You know, fries, easy. Loaded wedges, sure.

If you go fancy. Chicken wings. Red wine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fancy. One of those ones that are wood-fired. Ooh, yeah. One of those ones you get at the market with that tongue around, one of those giant pizza ovens, and you're like, geez, that thing yeah. Fancy. One of those ones that are wood-fired. Ooh, yeah. One of those ones you get at the market with that tying around,

one of those giant pizza ovens, and you're like, jeez, that thing must weigh a ton. Good stuff. It's good stuff. I think I'm tying around. If they bothered to make a contract just for a monthly pizza, you'd think that they'd put other things into the contract. You know, while they've paid the lawyer's fees.

Well, you've got a wedding coming up one day. In the distant future, who knows? Is there something you could look at? I wouldn't do a monthly pizza because that's not a hard sell for Aaron. Or yourself, is it? Maybe I would do a nightly foot rub. A nightly? Yeah, I'm pretty close to nightly.

What if he was away for work? He would have to organize a substitute. He couldn't give you, say, like a foot rub, five minute break, another foot rub, five minute break. You know, the week before he could do two foot rubs a night. Like annual leave. Five minutes duration. Yeah, right. Okay. And how many minutes is the daily foot rub?

Is there a minimum? Oh, it only has to be like five if it's daily. Okay. But yeah, it would have to be a five if it's daily. Okay. But yeah, it would have to be a 35 if he missed it the whole way. Does he give a little kiss? On the toes?

Does he give the toe a little kiss? Keep the toes, keep the feet out of the mouth. Keep the toes out of the mouth. That's not where we head. I've got beautiful feet. Yeah, but if they're clean. Yeah, they're clean.

Okay. And then the... A little... No, yuck. Just squeezes. Just squeezes and tickles. Just squeezes and pushes and pressure points. Yeah, a little like dig a thumb into the heel.

Yeah. Yeah, good stuff. A bit of reflexology. Have you ever looked up one of those foot charts of where to push for what? You're like, I've got to see what... No, he just has a go. No, that's what you should do is you should, for Christmas or his next birthday, get him like a little foot reflexology course.

Course. So he does the course, but then you benefit from the foot rubs daily. Have you ever had a massage in Thailand where they get the stick? Yeah. The what? The like drumstick. I bought one. The drumstick?

I bought one in Thailand. It's like a- Not a chicken drumstick, like a drummer's drumstick. Wouldn't the chicken come off? It is like a small drumstick. And it's like got a little knob on the end and they just poke you with it. They roll it into the pressure point.

Yeah, and then they poke into the heel and the pad. We bought one. Heaven. Right. So just like, just rubs and pokes. Thank you, partner. You heard me. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hi there Today's top six Was the top six things You probably shouldn't be

Able to sell on Trade Me But then I actually Looked up Trade Me's list Of things you aren't Allowed to sell on Trade Me And everything was already on there Oh They do actually up Trade Me's list of things you aren't allowed to sell on Trade Me and everything was already on there. Oh. They do actually have a very extensive list of things you're not allowed to sell on Trade

Me. Okay. Including Nazi memorabilia. Yes. Which is why this is in the news. That comes under, hold on, let me, that comes under offensive items and memorabilia. Okay. You are not, in particular, this includes Confederate flags.

You may not list items that feature Confederate flags as a focal point. This excludes film and literature. Okay. Gollywogs and diner jolly money boxes. There's heaps of gollywogs on there. Yeah. Well, people, like, people, old people really love making a stand about gollywogs.

Yeah, they do. Why do you care about it so much? Stop fighting for it. Yeah. Like, people don't like them. It doesn't mean they don't like you. Yeah. They just don't like what gollywogs represented.

Yes. Yeah. That's a real weird one that New Zealanders really don't want to, you know, die on that hill. It's nostalgic. Oh, I had a gollywog growing up and I didn't even see its colour. What about the origins of the gollywog? Yeah. Not me.

So the Nazi and Nazi related items you are allowed to sell. You are. Stamps, letters, postcards and envelopes displaying Nazi postmarks. So like stamp collecting. Right. Nazi stamp collecting. Currency issued by the Nazi government including military scripts, Nazi issued documents, passports and

travel papers, etc. Not permitted. Historically Nazi related items including reproductions like uniforms, uniform components, weapons, medals. Items that originally had Nazi symbols that had been removed. Items that were owned by Nazi leaders such as Goebbels, Goering, Rudolf Hess, Reinhardt,

Heidrach. Wow. Heinrich Himmler, Adolf Hitler, Adolf Eidmark. What about the book? Mein Kampf? I don't know if it's in there. No, it said literature. Literature was fine.

Yeah. It was fine. It's a bad book. Excluded. Yes. It's a very bad book. Yes. But here are the top six other things I found that you aren't allowed to sell on Trade Me

that I found quite interesting. Okay. For realsies. These are for realsies. Okay. Number six, paint colours. What? Eh?

You're not allowed to sell paint colours. Like resins? If you are listing paints which are tinted to or similar to the colours of certain brands, you may not refer to those brands. Oh, okay. So you're not allowed to sell your leftover Resine? What? Pohutukawa Point.

Why not? They don't want you. Because if you've done something to it, or if it's old or aged, and it misrepresents Resine, I'm guessing, and it's a colour that's not reflective of the colour they intended it to be. Do they, to trade me, just want us to tip these down the drain? No, don't put paint down the drain.

No, you take them back to the paint dealer. And what are they going to give me? They'll sort it out. Because they sell mist tints or like, yeah. And they've also got some sort of recycling technology or something? Huh, okay. Yeah. But surely it's good for recycling to buy used paint, right?

Um, no. Um, well, I don't know. Weird. It's a weird one. Odd. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six things you aren't actually allowed to sell on Trade Me. And as someone who's building a deck, found this very interesting.

Queela. You know the wood? The hard wood? Yeah. Like deck wood. Yeah, queela or merbau. Which is where you get a queela wine from, isn't it? Yes, you wring it from the tree. You wring it from the tree.

Yeah. And it comes out and then you just pump it up in the soda stream and you've got yourself a lovely queela. Lovely queela. Lovely queela. You may only list new Aquila or Merbau products that are certified by one of two official accreditation bodies. So if you needed a bit more for your deck,

like you needed two more panels to finish your deck, you couldn't buy it. Or you had two panels left over. I couldn't buy it unless it was from someone who had accreditation from one of the two bodies. But if I, for example, had finished my deck and had left over Queela, I'm not using Queela, I'm using Vitex. If anyone's...

I don't know what that means. But okay. Similar, but different. If I had left over stuff, I couldn't sell it. What are you going to do with it? Burn it. Put it on Facebook Marketplace, probably,

what you do with everything that you can't sell on trading. Yeah, you put it on Facebook Marketplace. Is it just you do with everything that you can't sell on Trade Me. Yeah, you put it on Facebook Marketplace. Is it just because you're selling their products, like reselling? No, it's... Well, you could sell it, but you'd have to go through to prove where you got it and that it's from an accredited source in a place that's just not pillaging rainforests and stuff, I guess. Could I say, here's two planks of wood for sale and not say what kind it is? But then it'd be hard to sell because if you're going on there looking for queeler.

Yeah, you're searching queeler. That's so weird. Could you like misspell it? Like Q-U-E-E-L-A-H. Like they're doing barley. Yeah, because you got those new gnocchis, didn't you? Yeah, the gnocchis are cute. Yeah.

I'll wear them to the gym. They're great too. The heels are coming off though, I meant to's are cute. Yeah. I'll wear them to the gym. They're great, too. The heels are coming off, though. I meant to tell you yesterday. Are they flapping at the back again? Walking behind you, they're flapping at the back again. I know a cobbler. Oh, great, great.

Oh, yeah, I've got a cobbler. Number four on the list. No, I've got a cobbler. Whose cobbler's better? Whose cobbler's better? I've got a cobbler. He's a great cobbler. Wait, did you get your own cobbler?

Yeah, I got mine. You didn't go for one of our recommended cobblers. No, I've actually got a cobbler. You've got a cobbler. I needed a cobbler on Monday, so I found... Wait, so you just went rogue on a cobbler? Well, I got mine. You didn't go for one of our recommended cobblers. No, I've actually got a cobbler. You got a cobbler. I needed a cobbler on Monday, so I found... Wait, so you just went rogue on a cobbler? Well, I went to my local... We gave you two wonderful recommended cobblers. No, I went to my local cobbler. Don't go rogue cobbler.

That's disgusting for them. They're not sort of run-of-the-mill. They're a specialist in what they do. Yeah, so is my guy. He's a great cobbler. He's been doing it for years. Did you go for a Central Auckland cobbler? Yeah, I went for a Central... Oh, no. Yeah, Because the thing on the back of my... Have you fixed some businessman's shoes? My Doc Martens came off.

Tag. My thing to pull on the boots, which I don't know my own strength, apparently. My cobbler is the only cobbler that deals with marching boots in Auckland. Oh, yeah, but that's a specialist. That's a specialist cobbler. Oh, no, my cobbler could do that.

I'm not paying your cobbler to just put a bit of leather in the back of my Timberland. No, no, it's cheap. And he also, he can fix my handbag. He's good. Oh, he's a leather man. He's a leather man. He works with leather.

You'll put a hole in your belt if you lose weight, if that ever happens. I mean, you can do that. You just gotta grab a drill. Can he fill them in when I gain weight?

So I don't feel bad? He's a leather man. He's a leather man. Fill in the hole. Number four on the list of the top six things you can't sell on Trade Me. Plastic shopping bags.

You may not list plastic shopping bags with handles. With handles? Yeah. I don't know why they're anti-handle. And that measure under 70 microns thick. Is it because when they banned them, all the people who had drawers full of them were selling them?

I guess so. As a bit of a novelty item. Yeah. But you could sell it, no handles. Oh, yeah. And under 70 microns. Because they were saying it's more of a bin liner. You could sell a bin liner, but the minute it's got handles,

it falls into the waste minimisation regulations of 2018. Because a bin liner often has tabs, but not handles. Yes, but not handles. My ones have got handles. You're a piece of trash. Yeah. But I think they're under whatever might, they're thinner. You're an anti-environmentalist.

Mine's made of cornstarch. Oh, yeah. Only lasts a couple of days. Yeah, you don't want to slop a bit of bolognese in the bottom of that thing and chew right through it. I've tried these eco bin liners and no, no, no, no, no. You've probably got a day and a half, I reckon. I have to go down four flights of stairs to get to the bin room. Oh, no, the arse is falling out of the nut. I have to go down four flights of stairs to get to the bin room.

Oh, I know. The arse is falling out of the net. I'm not losing my bloody food scraps on the stairwell. It won't make it. No. Number three on the list of the top six things you're not allowed to actually sell on Trade Me. Medicines. If you've got leftover or expired medicines, you're not allowed to sell them. Okay.

Yeah. So you just take them all. Grandad passes, but he left a few behind, a few ketamines. Oh, okay. You could probably keep those until you need them though. Yeah. I got a couple of goodies when my pop passed last

year. Did you? Yeah, a couple of blood thinners, a bit of brufrin. What is it, wolfrin? Wolfrin. Don't you have that when you go in the sun? Nah, it's good. thinners, a bit of Brufren. What is it, Wolfren? Wolfren. Blood thinners. Don't you have that when you go in the sun? Nah, it's good. Half one of those. I think you run a bit faster, run a bit easier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That and his asthma inhaler.

I'll tell you what, you're bloody an athlete. Hayley's out for a wild Friday night. She's like, who wants my pop's asthma inhaler? Yeah, yeah. Who wants two hits of... Let's rock. It's old school. It's the old powder crusher one too.

He never upgraded to the brown simbacord. Where am I up to? Number two on the list of the top six things you can't actually sell on Trade Me. Seatbelt extenders. Oh, okay. You can't sell seatbelt extenders. Is that a safety thing? Must be.

Must be. Yeah, and it literally says you may not sell seatbelt extenders on the site under any circumstance. So, I mean, Nazi postage stamps. Fine. A-OK. And leftover paint, not. Not. Yeah.

Seabed extenders, absolutely not. And number one on the list of the top six things you can't actually sell on Trade Me, ladders. Can you not? You can't sell a ladder unless it is a brand new ladder that complies with safety standard AS slash NZS 1892.1 hyphen 1996. Oh, shoot. Mine's 1995.

Well, you're out a lot. Yeah, you're out. You got that ladder forever. Forever? Forever. So you can't sell a ladder of all things. Those are just some. I tell you what, and if you want to read,

if you just Google ban and restricted Trade Me, there's a massive list of things that you can't sell on Trade Me. That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley's two truths, one lie. All right, it's your chance to win right now. We need you to call 0800-DIALS-IT-M.

We have up for grabs our daily prize pack. And it is all thanks to Whanganui and Partners. You can discover over 100 local tips, secrets, and hidden gems in Whanganui. It's open for discovery.co.nz. We got to do the fabulous Whanganui River earlier this year. We canoed it. Stayed a couple of nights on the river, did the bridge to nowhere. Oh boy, did the what? And a huge

prize up for grabs, return flights for two, accommodation rental car, jet boat tour, canoeing the Wanganui River and a $500 pre-card now to be in to win. We do the draw on Friday. Just go to ZM online and register now. Isaac joins us. Good morning, Isaac.

Morning. Alright, okay, so Hayley has now two truths, and register now. Isaac joins us. Good morning, Isaac. Good morning. All right, okay, so Hayley has now two truths, one lie. You've just got to pick the lie to win our daily prize pack, thanks to Wanganui. Okay, here we go. Statement number one, Vaughan was the loudest snorer in the hut. That's statement number one. Statement number two, the Wanganui River is the longest river in the North Island.

What do I think of that? Statement number three. Whanganui Opera House is New Zealand's last Victorian theatre. Ooh, heart. Well, I can certainly vouch for Vaughan's snoring. That is... I won't stand by and be accused of this. No, producer Jared will back me up.

It was the person in my vicinity was, but... Jared, who was allowed to snore in the hut there? Yeah, I'd say Vaughan was a top contender. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was. So that rules that one out, Isaac. Okay. So the Whanganui River is the longest river in the North Island? I've canoed longer rivers.

I was going to go with the longest river. It's not the Whanganui River. No, it's not, is it? No, it's the Waikato. There you go. Well done. Isaac, well done. We've got for you our...

Isaac, you will also be hearing from my lawyer in the upcoming slander case. Slander? Well done. You won a Fujifilm Instax prize pack. Isaac, well done. Awesome. Thanks, guys.

And make sure you register before Friday's draw to get on the Whanganui River. Next on the show, speaking of water, something cold has happened. Oh, I know. This is crazy. This is a thing. Absolutely ridiculous.

I didn't know this was a thing or that it was even possible. I've watched the Wim Hof Dock, you know, where they get an ice bath and they breathe through it. But that's when you're just sitting there. And I know that people go for like swims under ice and that kind of stuff. But now New Zealand's having its first, it's the inaugural ice swim championships.

Okay. Happening in central Otago. So this is the first time it's ever happened. There's the rules. No wetsuits. You're only allowed a cap, togs and goggles. And then the temperature is below four degrees.

Oh wow. Four degrees. And how far do you have to swim? You have to swim a kilometre. Oh my gosh. Okay so. You'd be numb. But it's in a pool. Okay how do they get a pool to four degrees? I really don't know how they're doing it.

So that would be around, what, 20-something minutes of swimming. You reckon? Oh, yeah, you swim. It'd be about 20-something minutes of swimming. In the cold. In four-degree water. In four-degree water. And not in a wetsuit.

So I just Googled what is the current lake temperature of Lake Wakatipu in Queenstown. Four degrees. Okay. Based on historical data over the period of 10 years, the warmest water on this day in Queenstown was in 2021 when it was five degrees and the coldest was in 2020 at three degrees. Oh, okay. So yeah, in winter it's averaging about four degrees.

Right. Because how long was Kate Winslet in the water for when she fell off the Titanic? She was on a boat, wasn't she? Yeah. Because she didn't last long. Well, no, she did. She lasted forever. She lasted long.

She survived. Oh, no, it was Jack, wasn't it? Jack died. He didn't last long at all. He died, that's right. Famously. How did you think she died? Remember, she says, I'll never let go.

And then she lets go. And then she lets go, but he goes down. He goes down. That's right. So you haven't seen the movie. So don't lecture me about it. Everyone knows You've seen it

and didn't know that she survived. She's the old lady that throws the thing in. That's right. Yeah, yeah. She must throw it in and they're like,

yeah, dopey old bitch. Grandma, no. How do you know so much about this movie and why won't you watch it? It's a fantastic movie. No, it's a point now. It's incredible.

Right. It's got to a point. So you don't have to do the full kilometre and it's like happening all the time. You can do it multiple times and the temperature varies but it's always below four. The average is 3.7. And when's that happening

or has it happened? It's happening at the moment. Right. So a 66-year-old woman did a kilometre. So did the kilometre but you woman did 100 metres. Oh, no, did a kilometre. So did the kilometre, but you can do 100 metres as a start and you can work your way up to a kilometre. You can't swim twice in one day because you'll probably die.

It's all about recovery and speed is not the aim. It's about making it safely. So it's about not dying. Good luck. When the Titanic sunk, the temperature of the water was minus 2.2 degrees Celsius. How is it not a big block of ice? What is freezing? Is it salt water?

Does salt water have a lower freezing temperature? Salt water, it doesn't. Oh, maybe. Let me, let me, there it does. Well, you can get salt water ice, though. But then salt stops ice. That's for bait, though. What's that stuff they put on the roads to stop the...

Grit. Like that salt. Is that salt, too, eh? Yeah. That salt would have a lower freezing point. Ocean water freezes just like fresh water, but at lower temperatures. Fresh water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit

and salt water freezes at 28.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, Jesus Christ. Can we just all get on board with Celsius, please? It's only America. It's only America. Yeah. Only America. No sense at America. Yeah, only America. No sense at all.

Okay, so it would have been on the verge of freezing, turning to ice, that would have been the Titanic sign. I thought you'd be going through sharts. So she said the organisers said she just Googled sharts. Shards. I thought you said sharts. Although if I'd been flipped out of the Titanic, I would have shart myself.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a major moment in producer Anna's life has occurred. Should we cross to the spinster now? I think we should. Are you right, old dear? You're right to pop on. There's a microphone next to you. I'm very upset.

You speak into that. Tell us what happened, ma'am. Can I ask first, though? Yeah, ma'am. Is this worse than the time you were mistaken for your boyfriend's mum in the pharmacy? No, that was really the low point of my entire life. Okay, so yesterday I was leaving work and a van was leaving work

and the little van window slid open in the back and then this really happy little fella starts waving at me and I'm like, who's this kid? It's Mr. Bun Buns They were out testing a van Oh, okay They were out testing a van for Driven Because he works for Driven

The motoring department Here at NZB And they were out testing a van But he just looked so much like He's like, hello! Just like a kid out the back of the van I've been abducted Yeah

That's me, little fella Tell my mum I've been pinched Yeah, mum But this is another low point But not as low as that Another low point I've been abducted. Yeah. That's me a little fella. Tell my mum I've been pinched. Yeah, mum. But this is another low point, but not as low as that. Another low point. Another low point at a pharmacy. So there's a real common theme here.

Maybe I just shouldn't ever go in. Okay. Yeah, so I went in and picked up a prescription. I ordered a repeat prescription online. Well, was it for Wolfram though? Because that's probably on you. Blood thinners. Yeah, you need to get on your blood thinners soon at your age.

A new battery for your pacemaker. It was some sleep medication, Insomniacs Unite. And yes, I needed a repeat, went in there and noticed that my prescription has changed me from Miss Cool Young Hot Gal to a Miz. Oh, a Miz even. A Miz and a hen vest. An MS. Okay, where does a Miz

become a Miz? Because I was always under the assumption if you're not married, you're a Miz. But if you're older, you're a Miz. I thought if you were like, yeah, 45 plus maybe, unmarried, that's sort of Ms. territory. I always thought Ms. meant divorced.

Oh, yeah. So this says, use Ms. when addressing young girls and women under 30 that are unmarried. Oh, babe. Oh, babe. That's huge. Use Ms. when you are not sure of a woman's marital status. If the woman is unmarried and over 30,

or if she prefers being addressed with a marital status neutral title, use Ms. Ms. Ms. And also, my qualm is that I haven't had a birthday between these prescriptions. So it's not like you can say, oh, she's turned 26, and then it's turned into Ms. My birthday's just another month. So at one point, the doctor, she's turned 26 and then it's turned into Ms. You know, my birthday's this summer month.

So at one point the doctor said she's pretty young and cool and then got actually no time to update that. Did you get like a full medical and they went, oh gosh, she's a Ms. She's turned into a Ms now. No, maybe I need one though. Oh no. But you were telling us in the group chat, this really hit you, didn't it? It really did.

It was a low blow, I thought, you know. A Ms. I'm still a miss. I thought I was a miss. A 32-year-old unmarried woman. This doesn't happen to men though, does it? Classic. Nothing ever does. No, no. They dismissed it

their whole lives. Or master. Master when you're a little boy. Master when you're young. Master Sproul was my brother. But then you become a mister. When do you become a mister?. Master when you were young. Master Smith. Master Sproul. Yeah. Was my brother. But then you become Mr. When do you become a Mr.? I just Googled that as well. It's like at puberty sort of thing.

Right. Yeah, right. High school. 13 maybe. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. But when you think about like Miss Honey from Matilda, she's a Miss.

She is a Miss. And she's young and hot and cool. Yeah. It's a made up character from a Ryle Dahl book. Well, Anna's now concerned that she's officially old now. Yes, exactly. So we thought we would float the question this morning. Was there a moment like this?

Where it confirmed for you you were old now? Yeah, like maybe you just stopped getting ID'd at the Southside checkout. Yeah, there is always that moment. I mean, when I worked in retail and they said, ask the lady where the toilet is and I said, lady. Where's this lady? Where's this lady you speak of?

You wanted them to say, ask the girl. Ask the girl. Yeah, right, no. I'm the girl. You're a lady now. Yeah. Yeah.

I also think because my whole life I've been a marching girl and marching girls are marching girls. It's a real strange thing. You never turn into a marching woman. Yeah, true. Marching lady. So I'm always a girl.

I'm always a Miss. I will not be called otherwise. Oh, no, you're big Miss energy. Are you serious? Big Miss energy. I would never address you as Miss because it almost feels like condescending. Yeah, I'd say Miss. Miss Sproul.

Miss Sproul. Have you ever been called ma'am? No. I feel like that's more of a Miss. In Bali a couple of times they did call me mister. A couple of times. Same, same, different. Yeah.

Yeah. Hello mister. But I feel like it's, that's a thing in Bali though, right? I think that's a thing. Yeah. But I did take great offence. I laughed a lot

when Sade got called mister and then someone explained to us that they do it for that reason. No, no, no, no. It's just everybody's mister oh right because it was particularly embarrassing

because I was nude at the time getting a massage so I was like you can't tell yeah I'm doing something wrong alright well

0800 DARS at Emerson number you can text as well 9696 when was it confirmed for you you were old yeah that one moment

you ain't nothing but a dog player I get it play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley you were old. Yeah, that one moment. You ain't nothing but a dog player. I get it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. We're talking about the moment you realised

or it was confirmed for you that you were old after producer Anna has officially, we'll say, by the doctor been changed from a Miss to a Miz. Even under the age of 30. Yeah. Yeah, somebody messaged

and said, I started using Miz at 15 so I'd feel mature and not like a child. You've wasted so many years of youth. Oh, being a young Miss. Yeah.

Oh, dear. Enjoy it. That's the thing, you're in such a hurry to grow up, aren't you? Oh, my God. And then when you get here, you're like,

I wish I enjoyed it more. Scott, when was it confirmed for you that you were old? Oh, when I went and bought a vacuum cleaner instead of going to Queenstown for a weekend. Oh my God. You made the wrong choice. In my defence, I brought the vacuum cleaner then they decided to go away. So I was kind of on the back foot.

You're like, I can't, I just bought a tube. Yeah. Did you buy a nice vacuum cleaner? I had lights and everything on it. It was real cool. Oh! I always wanted to vacuum at night. And a part of my house that isn't already lit by lights in the ceiling.

That's cool, man. Just in case you lose all your light bulbs and you need to vacuum. Well, no, but also great for under the couch. You get a bit of extra lighting there, don't you? Oh, yeah, but no one's doing that every week. Wait, is it one of those ones I've seen in a vacuum?

I mean, we could absolutely derail this conversation and just spend 20 minutes talking about vacuum cleaners, but I will risk that. Is it one of those lights that shines

the purple light out front that shows you the dust and stuff you've missed? No, no, it's just got like normal lights out front, but it's got like the pet one

with the side bit on it. Yeah, yeah. So you don't cut off the bag as much. So it's just got like normal bikes out front But it's got like the pet one with the side bit on it Yeah, nice So you don't cut off the bag as much So it's economical It is true though, eh? The moment you buy a big appliance You keep looking at it being like, holy moly I own that

Look at me go It's a bit of a depressive reality check It is It's bloody sad actually Might get the vac out in a couple of rounds Scott, thanks for You're cool. Shelly, what was the moment you realised, this is it, I'm old? I was probably 30-ish, maybe early 30s, and my kids were at primary school.

And all of a sudden I looked around and the teachers were younger than me. It used to be teachers were older, but then teachers were younger. And then I went to the doctor and the doctor was younger than me. And I was like, oh. I were older, but then teachers were younger, and then I went to the doctor, and the doctor was younger than me, and I was like, oh. I hate it. I hate that. I hate when that happens. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, you know, it's the oldest All Black is now significantly younger than me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember when the All Blacks were like the big adults, and now the oldest All Black

is younger than me. Younger. Well, younger, yeah. Actually, it's my birthday today, and I had to figure it out. I'm 54 today, and I'm like, oh, no. Actually, today I thought, oh, God, I'm old. Oh, happy birthday. Wait.

Wait. It's actually your birthday today. Yes. And you're 54. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Shelley. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, Shelley. Oh, thanks, Debbie. You old. You also don't sound 54. No, you don't sound 17. You've got a young voice, Shelley. Rock that. Yeah, I don't. You've got a young voice. You've got a young voice, Shelly. Rock that. Yeah, I'm quite,

and I do have a young voice. Actually, it comes in quite handy because people that used to cold call and they'd say, oh, is your mother home? No, my mother doesn't live here. Oh, is your father home? No, my father doesn't live here either.

And then they wouldn't know what to say and I'd be like, bye. You're a little cutie. Brilliant cutie, Shelly. Happy birthday. Amazing, Shelly. be like, bye. You're a little cutie. Really cutie, Shelley. Happy birthday. Amazing, Shelley. Thank you, Sheila. Your husband, what was the moment he realised he was old?

Well, he was about 45 at the time, and he went away on business and went out to a restaurant with some of his colleagues, and he was asked if he had a gold card. Oh, God. Wow. How old was he? 45. Yeah, possibly 45.

It might have been the fact that he had a big white beard and looked like Santa. I don't know. But all of his colleagues found it amusing. Yeah, but nobody wants to be overestimated by 20 years. 20 years. No. Sheila, thanks.

You're cool. Cheryl, what was the moment you realised you were old? It was a moment, it was my birthday. I'd been to the hairdresser's to get my hair done. I was feeling really good. And then afterwards

I went to the bank and they just asked me if I wanted to take out funeral insurance. Yeah! Which birthday was this? 42. Oh.

42? You don't need to worry about it. You'll be dead. I think maybe we need to revisit our moisturising, Cheryl. Creepus, creepus. Cheryl, thanks. You called some messages in. Also, what's funeral insurance?

I will go on record as saying it's guaranteed one day you will die. No, it's cover. It's cover. It's like you can't start paying for it, right? Yeah, you's guaranteed one day you will die. No, it's cover. Yeah, it's like you can't start paying for it, right? Yeah, you pay for your funeral before you die. But again, I'll say it now. You'll be dead. Someone will pay for it.

Yeah, exactly. Well, they're not just going to shove you in the ground and walk away. Yeah, hug me in a box and throw me in the ocean. Don't waste your money now. Nah, put me in a crab pot. Catch some crabs with me. Hug off an arm, put me in one of those crab things, drop me to the bottom of the ocean. Won't you make the crab pot float?

No just an arm at a time Oh okay We'll have to hack them up first Cable tie it down Yeah Okay right And you know what I don't want to skite

But I reckon you'd catch Some pretty good crabs And then do we eat the crabs? Or sell the crabs Because technically We'd be eating crabs That had eaten you So we'd be eating you

By proxy Yeah but that's like eating beef And saying I've just had a feed of grass. You know, it's been through a process. Don't worry about it. And then you've always got a little bit of me. He's got a point. It's a bit bougie that you have grass-fed cows. I do love Sasha. Some other messages.

Somebody said I was looking for a midwife and they were all younger than me. I was like, what am I doing? Why am I old? I was at McDonald's, show sponsor, and a roughly 11-year-old kid bumped into me and turned around and looked at me and said, I'm very sorry, sir. I'm 24 years old, and it was just the sir,

the way he delivered the sir. When my kid who was eight asked me, as a 36-year-old, did you have CDs back in the old days? Oh, in the old days? I never asked my parents about the olden days. Yeah, and it would have been like the early 80s or the late 70s? Yeah, my parents were in their 20s when they had me. Yeah.

What was it like when dinosaurs roamed? Somebody said I was at a nail bar before Christmas and that girl asked me what my Christmas plans were and if I had grandchildren coming up. I just turned 40. I'd just go along with that and say yes. I had the last laugh when she asked me if I was happy with my nails. I said, no, they're terrible.

I walked out. Well, not only is he one of the internet's most beloved young men and one of New Zealand's most beloved young comedians he's one of my most beloved friends Chris Parker Good morning Thank you so much for calling me young Yeah well we've been confirming age this morning We've just been talking about your big feet

Yeah I was going to say giant You know what they say about big feet. Yeah. I was going to say giant. You know what they say about big feet as well? Huge insecurities. Huge insecurities. Really? Custom shoes.

Custom shoes. I know, I've got giant feet. The first thing anyone ever says to me when they meet me is like, you're so tall.

Yeah. And they're like, because you give off a short energy. No, you don't. I think I give off Peter Pan energy maybe. I think you give off

long energy. Long. Long. But think you give off long, long energy. Long. Long. But you've known me forever, Hayley. So you've always known me as big. Because Birkin, Hayley and I were talking earlier, Birkenstock are making like a leather crock. Like a clog.

Like a clog. A Birkencrock. A Birkencrock. And then you walk in, but these are different. A Crockenstock. Yeah, I'm wearing McKinley. What do you call those? They're like a clog. A crockenstock. Yeah, I'm wearing McKinley. What do you call those? They're like a clog.

A clog, yeah. McKinley and Dunedin shoemaker. Wow. But I bought them immediately because they went up to a size 13. I was like, well, I'm buying them. I don't care how much they are because they'll fit my feet. Otherwise, I'll be walking around in the bare feet. You're a 13 slash 14.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, big. You need to talk to Aaron. Yeah, he's got big clumpers too. He's a 13 bridging towards a 14, but it makes sense. He's a big boy. But when I first met him, he's very tall, 6'6".

Yeah. When I first met him, he'd always wear skate shoes. And his trick was, because they were high, you could get away with a slightly shorter jean that didn't fit the leg. Because then you'd make up for the gap with a bigger shoe. I'm honestly at the point where I'll start wearing kayaks on either feet. You know?

Yeah. And line it with a sleeping bag as a sock. Like, it's so hard to find shoes that fit me. So, we're not here to talk about clogs or kayaks. If you're out there making shoes that'll fit my giant feet. But Chris Parker does have a cobbler. We've all got a cobbler. We've all got a cobbler.

We've all got a cobbler. You've got to have a cobbler. We've all got a cobbler. We've all got a cobbler. You've got to have a cobbler. Because they'll repair your shoes too. And your handbags and your leather jackets. They do the lot. And your marching boots. The hooks on your boots. Belts. God, and leather whips. I mean, you name it. Whips. Restraints. Harnesses. They do it all.

I've gone through too many harnesses and I throw them away not thinking to take them to the cobbler. Yeah, because you've got a little tear in the gag, right, where it connects to the ball. Yes. And you just can't be bothered replacing it because it's just wasteful. It's just wasteful. Go to Mr. Minute in the mall and get him to fix the straps on your ball gag.

I don't know if he's a leather worker. No, no, no. You've got to get a proper cobbler. Dominion Road. I want a proper cobbler, cobbler cop. Anyway, a proper cobbler with a cup of cobbler cobbler shops. Right. Anyway, we digress.

Four cobblers, four very silly people. How was the promo for Taskmaster? We didn't really talk about it. Did talk about an old style of shoemaking. And ball gags. This is having a massive resurgence, apparently, because everybody's getting a cobbler. Yes.

No, we're talking about Taskmaster. Yes. Season three. Season three. We've done it, New Zealand. We've broken the back of season two. We've got another season. It feels good when you get to season three. It's good, yeah, because, oh, right, we're sitting in.

We do this show now. Because there's the season two curse. Is there, right? Particularly in comedy. You'd be very hard to get through a season two. You'd be lucky. To even get a season two. Season three, it's you, Cuda Forrester, Justine Smith, Paul Ego, and Josh Thompson. That's a star.

As well as Jeremy Wells and Paul Williams. And his crew. It's a big production, you know. So if you're crazy and you haven't watched any Taskmaster, New Zealand or British or otherwise, tell us how the show works. Well, it's the best show in the world. It is. So they get five comedians to individually,

oh gosh, it's so hard to explain, to go into a house and complete a series of tasks that have been set by a taskmaster, Jeremy Wells. And then we don't see how each other do those tasks. Then we all get back together months later. We've forgotten what we've done. We just put it in the past and we do a live show

and we re-watch all the tasks that we did individually and we compare how we did against each other and then the taskmaster will give you points and then they're gonna

have a winner each episode and also there's live tasks and then you watch it on the TV and it's very silly it's very silly and then there's ads that break up the show. Oh, there's ads for all sorts.

I love ads. Furniture stores. Huge fan of ads. Sometimes you'll have a cup of tea, sometimes you'll fall asleep, sometimes you'll go, I want a bit of choccy, you know, and then you do that.

Yeah, you go to the fridge, come back. You won't just have a bit of choccy, you'll have a lot of choccy. TVs these days, you can pause them sometimes. You can pause it, yeah. Pause them. Wild. Because how was it for you?

Because I know I've worked with you in many, many very stressful situations. Wild. Because how do you, how was it for you? Because I know I've worked with you in many, many very stressful situations. And the thing with Taskmaster that kind of makes me go like, oh my God,

is that you don't know a single thing. And then when, even when they tell you the task, it often doesn't make sense. Yeah, so you walk in

not knowing anything. You're like locked away in the makeup room while they set up the task for you. And then you'll walk out and you'll see some big set up like,

you know, all these, like a gigantic Jenga tower. And you think, I don't know what this you. And then you'll walk out and you'll see some big set up, like, you know, all these, like a gigantic Jenga tower. And you think, I don't know what this is. And then you open your task and it'll tell you what to do. And then it's like, and your time starts now. And your time starts now, exactly. I have a little bit of PTSD from Treasure Island. Of course.

It was like, if you don't win this task, you don't eat for four nights, you know. Yes. And you'll go home. And your charity will suffer. Your charity will suffer. So it would be like, there was no stakes really. Like it's all just like trying to make comedy, but I would just see the task

and like see the whatever's been set up and instantly feel sick to my stomach and be like, you've got to win this Chris. And if you don't win this, you've failed Rainbow Youth and you're going home hungry. Is that why you forgot three at the start of memorising Pi? Oh, look.

Last week they had memorised Pi. And Chris started memorising after the decimal point. So you just went point one. So it immediately failed. So the task was memorise Pi to the highest decimal point that you can. Oh, but they show it to you. You had it on a book. How long did you get?

20 minutes? 10 minutes to read Pi and memorise it. I'd be so good at that. Well, that's what I thought too, Hayley, because of drama school. Because of learning scripts, learning lines all the time.

We're actors. Yeah. And so I was like, I had this whole thing. I had choreographed all these things. I memorize it to like 22 points. Decimal points. Decimal points.

However, you forgot three points. I forgot the first number. And I said one, didn't I? you went one four

nine and he's like that's not one four five nine and then I got no points for it oh no yeah

but that's the joy of the show you get to really watch New Zealand's most beloved comedians lose their minds and freak out and I

I really I lost my temper if I'm being honest with you well it's on at the moment it screens it's on tonight it's on tonight so it's on Wednesdays And freak out. And I really, I lost my temper, if I'm being honest with you. Well, it's on at the moment. It screens, it's on tonight. It's on tonight.

So it's on Wednesdays, 8.45 on 2. And look, we've seen you win on TV before, and you can't tell us if you win this or not. But it's what I want. Let's just say, stay tuned. Wow, that's good TV talk. Yeah. I might or might not win.

There's only two ways it can go. All right, and good luck with your cobbler. Yeah, good luck with your cobbler and your customer choose. You get a good cobbler, you don't need luck. You just got skill. Yeah, right. Good skill. So according to the ING, now what is the ING in Australia?

ING Australia. Is that like an insurance thing? ING? Is it like a lion? Oh, like a bank. It's a bank. It's a bank. Is it like a lion? Yeah, it does.

Is there a lion in the logo associated with a lion? It's a lion. Yes. It's a silly looking lion. It's a Dutch lion. It's a Dutch lion. Oh, he's so silly and short. He's a bit squat.

Anyway, according to the squat lion. Don't body shame the lion. I know, I'm sorry, but he's comedically squat. You'll cancel. Again, according to them, they've done a bit of a study into how much Australians are spending on dating. So this is single Australians. Single Australians who are going on an average of three dates a month. Three?

Yeah, I think that would be normal if you were out there single, ready to mingle. Yeah, okay. You're looking. One a week with a week off. Yep. To rest and recoup and stretch. How many dates would you go on a month?

You're the only single person here. I don't know. You don't do like traditional dates? I don't want to go out on a... Like a traditional date. I just don't see the point of so much money. Yeah, you just cut to the chase. Yeah, cut to the chase.

Cut to the chase. Go straight to pudding, you know? If they stick around, cool. We'll go for dinner then. Yeah, great. Afterwards. It's too late. But what is it?

What is it? People that work in bars and restaurants, there's a day. Is it Tuesday it? What is it? People that work in bars and restaurants, it's a day. Is it Tuesday? Tuesday is the most popular day. They reckon they see people from Tinder dates. Do you reckon that's so that you don't get too carried away? Yep, totally.

It's a work night. I've got work tomorrow or I've got uni tomorrow or school tomorrow or whatever. You've got to be out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to on a Friday. Keep litty. Well, apparently people are spending,

people who go on three dates per month are spending $384 a month on these dates. That's a date. An average of $153 a date. See, that's the thing. The first date wasn't good enough. So then you're going on a second date and then you're going on a third date

and you're doing this every month. You're spending a lot of money. This is so much money. In the past, we've talked about especially the younger generation just doing a coffee date or a yoga date. Yes. Whereas that's a lot cheaper, right? Why are you acting like

once you get the person, it gets any cheaper? It gets worse. It gets worse. They want a house. Have you heard of a Niner Bing? A Niner Bing. And her ridiculously overpriced everything. Have you found any more Janine bing? Panini bing.

Panini bing stuff in your wife's wardrobe? Have you done a full sweep? I can't remember where I was up to with it. There's three. You found a jacket. There's three items. Yeah, you found it. He found a jacket.

There's a puffy jacket. Not a puffer jacket. Not a puffer jacket. It looks like someone skinned a teddy bear. Oh, a puffer jacket. Not a puffer jacket. It looks like someone's skinned a teddy bear. Oh, a teddy coat. Teddy coat. Yeah, right. And one with an eagle on it that I see heaps of people wearing.

Yeah, that one's very famous. And so I actually, on the holidays, saw a couple. Yeah. And when we were in Queenstown, I saw a couple, and she was wearing the Anita Bing one with the eagle on it. And then she separated from him, and I said to him, do you know how much you miss as Jack? Oh my god Vaughan! Sade was like

Stay out of it! Sade's like Like there's this Anina Bing mafia Yeah. And he's like, what do you mean? I was like, yeah, just maybe give it a google when you get home. No! Vaughan, you can't! You cannot do that You can't do that.

I think it's my job as a man who understands how ridiculously overpriced that is to alert everybody else. Right, okay, so you're saying the money people are spending on dates on average, $150 is nothing. Altogether, Australians are spending $42.8 billion a year on dates. But that's good for the economy. That's up $10 billion from 2017. That's up $10 billion from 2017.

How many Panini Bing hoodies would that get you? Four. I think about four. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here Don't get Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here

A little background as to how this has been going because Fletch was very much on board with this. You were not started when this first started happening. There's a new wall in the ZM offices that's getting all the old ZM logos of years gone by painted on it. Because ZM is a commercial radio brand that's been around

what is it, next year? 50 years? Yeah, it is. Phenomenal. Initially, the frequency was used by the US Army. Well, they lent it to the Army over World War I. Wow. What was the launch party like guys? Unsure but they'd say stuff like hey

make sure you're listening after the next song we've got a stat 49% of people do this and then they'd keep listening. The soldiers. And then the 49% of people they'd be like what is the stat and they'd listen and be like sign up to the army to go and fight the Nazis. Yeah right. And they'd be like well maybe I should be in that 49% you see it was a little bit of a clever way to get army to go and fight the Nazis. Yeah, right. And they'd be like, well, maybe I should be in that 49%, you see.

It was a little bit of a clever way to get people to sign up. But at the same time, fulfilling their curiosity of giving them a weird, anonymous sort of vague stat and then people thinking, well, that's almost the majority. I probably should fit into that. Yeah. Yeah. And then they go up next, Ed Sheeran. Yeah.

Well, Edward Sheerano, as he was known. Yeah. Back in the 40s. But there is, in the middle of this mural of ZM logos from yesteryear, there is going to be a modern ZM neon light logo. Put in, put in, on the wall. So that was being discussed, and it turns out that there's no hidden power point in the middle of the wall.

The nearest power point that they could be tapping into is at the side, meaning unless it was done, it's hard once it's all been painted. Yeah, because the mural's been painted. The mural's been painted. Now, if you were going to take off the jib or whatever it is and hide the wiring, you would have done that before the painting. And they said for a while we might have to have the cord hanging out. And Jesus of Nazareth, these two nearly lost their minds.

Why bother? Why bother? If you knew you were going to have a cord issue, you should have pre-put the cord in and then plastered and painted. You knew you were putting a sign there. You knew you were painting. And I'm thinking maybe we can come in from the back here, from the producer's studio, because that wall can easily be accessed.

Yeah, but then we'll have a hole. We'll have a hole on our side, more visible to us. They'll cover the hole. With what? But this does get me started when I see people's TV wires hanging down. Like, okay, if you're renting, fair enough. No, put a hole in the wall. You can patch anything.

Yeah, that's true. With a bit of plaster, a bit of builder's bog. It's pretty easy. Get the same paint colour and the landlord will never know. Don't put blue tack on the walls, though. But you can put a hole through it. That's easy to cover. But, like, just poke the wire.

I hate seeing cables. So do I. And people spend all this money on big monitors and big TVs and stuff, and then they've got these dangly, like, grey cords hanging down the bottom to their entertainment unit. It does my head in. It does my head in. It does my head in. If you can't put it through the wall, I think the TV should just be on the floor.

On a stand. On a stand or something. So you can tuck it behind a piece of furniture. Vaughn, you don't care? I don't. It's work. I don't care if it was my house. Yeah, but you face this way.

We face that way. Are you worried you're going to constantly see the dangly cord over the window? Yeah. And it'll probably be an extension cord that's orange as well, so you'll see that. Oh, that's great. You want to see your extension cord so you don't cut through them. No, because you're right,

because the cord from the sign won't be long enough to make it to the thing, so then it's going to have a big bulbous plug plugged into another thing. Is that like an OCD thing? No, it's not. I don't think it's quite OCD. It's not at the levels of very particular people. Yeah. It's ugly.

Have we resolved this issue? Are they going to put it through the wall? Well, I think the hate that you two went at the entire room. We screamed at Ross yesterday. And the entire room witnessed that, including the dude who was doing the install, who was just sitting there like, I hope they don't turn. We were waving to get their attention.

He was standing so still. He's like, maybe if I don't move, these T-Rexes won't see me. As you go about your parade. Yeah, but now the cord's going through the wall. Well, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, doesn't it? Is that a saying? I don't know. Yeah, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Because you guys made noise, so you got what you wanted. Yeah. We got all greased up. Yeah. Good. I like to be oily. I'm still holding, holding, holding on. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley.

Play ZM. People are not happy with Kylie Jenner, billionaire Kylie Jenner, because she posted a photo of her and her boyfriend. They're not married, are they? Travis Scott. Posing in front of each of, they had their private jets next to each other. And then the comment was, should we take yours or mine?

Relatable. I saw that. I was like, why do they need one each? Also take hers hers is better That's not why she's been called a climate criminal

No because this drew the attention of a Twitter account called Celeb Jets where they go on the like a sky sort of

map thing of flights and you can track the flights of all planes Well there's flight radar which if you see a plane you can just

point your camera at it and it will tell you. Go, what's the plane? What's the flight? Yeah, yeah. So he did that with Kylie Jenner's plane and worked out that she's been taking just the shortest trips, including one trip from one city in LA to another, like in one city in California to another,

that would have been a 45 minute drive took just three minutes. It was a three minute flight. Once they were up in the air. You'd get up in the air and then you'd start your descent. Well, in total the flight was 17 minutes, but three minutes at- Of airborne.

Right up there and then down. 17 minutes. That is a lot. And she could have just driven. For 45 minutes. But she also has like a Hummer. LA though is, traffic's terrible. If it was rush hour.

I think helicopter's probably less safe. Yeah, but you can't like have a little glass of wine. You know, it's all loud and stuff. Where she's like got lounges and beds and stuff in her private jet. It's crazy. You'd barely nod off though. You'd barely nod off and you'd have to be landing again. Close your eyes and be like, oh, seatbelt's on.

Wow. But they've all got them. Courtney, Chloe. I don't know that Courtney's got one, but Chloe. I don't reckon Rob's got one. Kim's got one. I don't reckon Rob's got one. No, I don't think Rob would have one.

Is Rob still alive? Yeah. No one's heard from him. Still ticking. Yeah. Anyway, people are not happy. I read a funny tweet that was like, every time my paper straw is so slowly disintegrating in my drink,

I'll remember that Kylie Jenner took a three-minute flight. In a private jet, yeah. Yeah, and she's now been called a climate criminal because they do this like multiple times a week. So, okay, so we're all trying to save the planet, right? We're recycling. We're trying to use less plastic. We've banned plastic bags.

But I would say there is a little bit of climate criminal in all of us. Absolutely. And here's my first point. Producer Jared, tell everybody what you did in your car while you were guzzling expensive fuel. In my gas guzzling little bits, I had a gym that I went to about 150 metres down the road. No.

And I used to drive it. It's a 10 minute walk. If that. Five minutes. Climate criminal. You're a climate criminal. Also, a walk is a pre-warm up for your gym workout. Yeah, because then you just get there and get into the mud.

There's no weather in there. It's fine. Wow. Okay, but would you take the car on a fine day? Oh, yeah. Okay, so climate criminal. I would you take the car on a fine day? Oh, yeah. Okay. So climate criminal. I would say my climate criminal, my most recent one was, you know, during the lockdowns and

they weren't taking soft plastics anymore. Remember, you know, you've got the soft plastic recycling in the supermarkets. Yeah. And they weren't doing it because we couldn't ship it overseas. Yeah, right. Because that's what we do. We just ship our problems off to China. Yeah, right. Because that's what we do. We just ship our problems off to China. Yeah, yeah. So me and Aaron were keeping

it all in a big bag to remember to do it once it started again. Yeah. And then the bag just got too full. Climate criminals. You just put it in the bin. Just put it all, like, collected plastic, soft plastics in the bin. Oh, you did not. I have been reminded of another thing that producer Jared has done.

He's a climate criminal. He's guilty. He's going down criminal through and through. He's guilty. He's going down for life. Absolute stitch up. Remember that time you ordered a single drink off Uber Eats? Yep. Oh my God.

How close to a dairy do you live? About 125 metres from a gas station. See? Oh my God. See what I mean? Climate criminal.

Climate criminal. Born fess up. I burn some stuff. Have you ever taken... Sometimes I see a little bonfire in your backyard. I burn some stuff. Have you ever taken the car to check the letterbox? No.

No. To take the wheelie bins? No. Only if I'm already going somewhere. Oh, right. Okay. Because that's something. Sometimes people take the car to check the mailbox.

Yeah, especially people who live rurally. Yeah. Who are most likely driving a ute. And then they ute themselves down the thing. We want to take some calls this morning on those things, like Producer Jared, those little climate crimes. Small climate crimes. Yeah, we don't want to hear that you, you know,

club seals or anything, but just your small little guilty. Yeah, clubbing seals is like a climate war crime, isn't it? Yeah. You imagine this as sort of a regional court situation. all little guilty. Clubbing sales is like a climate war crime, isn't it? Yeah. You imagine this is sort of a regional court situation. But maybe like Producer Gerard, you take the gym to the car when you could just walk. Yes. You take the gym to the car.

You take the car to the gym. That's going to be very ineffective use of fuel. Heavy. Yes, please call us, 0800DALZDM, and text us 9696. And we will also, just to be transparent, have Greta Thunberg listening in. Kylie Jenner is under fire for being a climate criminal. Yeah, that's the term they're using.

She's taking bloody three-minute flights across LA rather than just getting in one of her nine Hummers. Yeah. This is like when Leonardo DiCaprio goes to a global climate summit and takes his private jet, and they all take them. Yeah. This is like Leonardo DiCaprio goes to a global climate summit and takes his private jet and they all take them. Yeah. Doesn't he plant a bunch? Didn't he explain this?

Isn't he a big tree planter? Was it offset? Counter? Counter it. Oh, yeah, I'm planting trees as well. Prove it. Let's see those trees. I've seen a photo of him planting trees.

I planted some mint that I bought from the supermarket, one of those $3 mints. Well, that's one plant. So that's one trip in, one trip out. That's one. So I googled she would be private jet, then it would be more fuel efficient to take a helicopter, then it would be more fuel efficient, again,

to take a small fixed wing aircraft, prop driven. Right. Your Cessnas. Oh, she's not getting in one of those. I think she's, yeah, I don't think that's her style. You can't see Kylie in a Cessna, but then you just take your car. Also, I've just Googled, I cannot find a single picture of Leonardo DiCaprio planting a tree. No one has people planting a tree.

Here's one of him next to a tree in the movie The Beach. That's the closest I can find. I mean, he's in character there. We want to know from you this morning, your small climate crimes. Yeah. Maybe like Producer Jared, you're taking the car to the gym when you live 150 metres away. Driving to the dairy for a little late night ice block.

There's some far worse crimes than I can tell you. Oh, really? Come on. We'll keep it anonymous, but get it out. Yeah. I haven't put a rubbish bag out in five years. I just burn everything. Oh, no.

I total save it in not having to buy rural rubbish bags every week. But then you can't burn things like tins, so they must be recycling the tins. Yeah. Or are they doing the classic 1970s New Zealand thing of burying their rubbish? Oh, no. Trina, what's your climate crime?

Oh, did you say Tina? Trina. Is it Trina? Trina or Trina? Trina. Oh, sorry. Who Tina? Tina. Is it Tina? Tina or Trina? Tina. Oh, sorry. Who put the R in there? Do you say Anna?

I apologise for Anna's excessive R there. So you're not a Katrina, you're a Katina. No, I'm not even a Katina, I'm just a Tina. I'm pretty sure it's short for Katina. Now, is this your friends or your climate crime? No, no, it's my friend's climate crime. They was having drinks in the house. It was summer.

And so they had the door open. And my best friend's sister was a little bit drunk. And she's on the phone. None of us knew really what she was doing. And then the next thing, a taxi driver turns up at the door. And he's calling out, hello, hello, and she calls out to him, come in, and he comes into the lounge area and she goes to him, pass me my drink off the mantelpiece over there,

please, mate. Oh, my God, you're kidding me. No, absolutely true. And he takes the drink over and then she goes, how much do I owe you? What? What? That's the truth.

That is a true story. That is wild. That is some drunken behaviour. Absolutely. Oh, wow. How much did you pay him? Oh, I can't remember. It was a while ago now.

Oh, my God. That is an absolute climate crime. That is very rude too. It's so rude. I love it. Thanks for your call, Tina. I've accidentally hung up there on somebody with I love it. Thanks, you're cool, Tanner. I've accidentally hung up there on somebody with my fat finger. Well, that's a climate crime.

That's a climate crime because the, I mean, that's extra power in the South. Yeah, yeah. So someone says, I live five minutes walk to uni and I still drive, even though sometimes I end up parking closer to my house than I do to uni and have to walk the rest of the way. Yeah. Just the cost of fuel. Yes. Clementine, of fuel. Yes.

Clementine, good morning. Good morning. First of all, first time caller, long time listener. Yay! Welcome, welcome. What's your small climate crime? Oh, just every now and then surreptitiously if I'm chewing a wee bit of gum, I like to just sort of slide past a bush and just pop it in there and put it in a bin.

Oh, naughty. You know what happens is that gets stuck in the little nose hole of a native bird. A kiwi. A kiwi probably. I like to imagine a rat chokes on it. And then you've actually done a climate good thing, the opposite of a crime. Do rats like hubba bubba? Love it. And then you've actually done a climate good thing. The opposite of a crime. Do rats like Hubba Bubba?

Love it. Right, okay. I am also imagining, Clementine, that you're chewing a grape Hubba Bubba. Oh, absolutely. The thing that

annoys me about people that get rid of their gum, the footpath's one thing, because that can stick to your shoes, and you wouldn't know this,

Hayley, but people that get rid of it in the urinals? That's weird. What? They spit gum into the urinals. It doesn't go down the hole. No.

So it stays there, and then some poor cleaner has to pick it out. Is this a common thing? It's a common thing. So common. Clementine, did you know this? No, I'm not. Men are spitting chewing gum into the urinal.

I don't know. Do the ladies ever spit in the toilets? No. Oh, men are constantly ever spit in the toilets? No. Oh, men are constantly hawking in the toilets. It's gross. It's so gross. Do you guys get wiry pubes in the toilet bowl too? Not really.

Oh, okay. We get long head hairs sort of draped over every surface. Oh, yeah. I got to pick out the side. All right, Clementine, thank you for admitting your climate crime, your small climate crime. More messages coming in. Instead of walking my dog to the dog park that's 200 metres away,

I drive, then walk my dog around the park, then put it in a car and drive it home. Also, wouldn't the dog be dirty? I have a friend who walks his dog on a treadmill. That's smart. No, but that's a climate crime because you're using power. He's using power. Yeah.

And he's being a lazy tart. Yeah. But good way to keep the dog, you know, exercised. Yeah, dogs happy. Dogs happy. Yeah. Someone said meat trays straight in the bin. Ain't no part of me taking off that glad wrap and splashing chicken juice everywhere.

Give that a rinse and recycle it. I have been known to sometimes abandon a particularly chicken, chickeny sack, you know, that's stuck to the bottom. Yeah. Those plastic ones with the three-leaf clover grooves. You can wash them. I didn't even know these were recyclable. Oh, right. With my water pressure, which I've talked about before, is better than any small

town in New Zealand. Okay. Thanks to the water pump I purchased on my rural property. It's impossible to wash it. The minute you put water into that new groove one, it eliminated the need for the polystyrene and the tampon thing in the bottom, the meat tampon. Yeah, the pad.

Have you ever put a meat pad in the fry pan accidentally? Oh, yes. It slides out under the mince. Yeah. That's why it's always important to dunk your mince face down, then pull it off, then remove the sanitary pad. Because if you don't, hey, and you flip it, and you're like, I've been cooking that pad.

You've got a labor of fur at the bottom of your stir fry. I don't know if this mince is good. It's got a slightly floral scent. Yeah. And wings. And then you flip it over and you've got, yeah, you've got the sanitary product in the bag. But those plastic ones, the new ones with the grooves that have eliminated them,

the need for the sanitary products, so hard to rinse. Yeah. You wash them and they just go everywhere. But now I didn't even know they were recyclable, but I'll be putting in more effort. Yeah, you've got to wash them. I rinse my recycling too. Everyone should be rinsing their recycling.

Bit of a hero. You've got to. Bit of a hero. Kyle Peter Fletcher, are you not rinsing your recycling? Yeah, all the time. I don't think he's a recycling rinser. All the time. Every day it should be.

Every time. Every can? I don't think he's a recycling rinser. I reckon you're leaving baked bean sauce crusted to the lid and expecting someone else to clean it. Absolutely not. We should take you to the factory and meet the people who have to clean that recycling. You look them in the eye and tell them you don't have 10 seconds to rinse out baked beans out of the tin when it's still wet and easy to rinse. I think it's the only way.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about how it kind of related to the heat wave that the UK is experiencing. Hottest day on record yesterday. Yeah, 40.2 degrees. That's the officially recognized temperature. But you see people who are popping up little ones from, you know, in the middle of London where, you know, above the buildings and everything, it might be that temperature.

But in amongst it, with the sun reflecting off all the dark surfaces, it's getting hotter. Well, I will ask you for a percentage answer, how many houses in the UK do you think have any form of air conditioning? Well, we talked to our UK correspondent yesterday. He said that a lot of them just don't because it's only ever needed for a couple of days of the year. Yeah, you'd have a fan probably. A couple of weeks.

And then when it comes to heating, they just use like radiators more than they do heat pumps. Yeah, I'd say it's like, I'm probably not wrong with about 14. It might even be more like five, to be honest. Okay, I'll take your 14. I'll go 14. And you'll go five, will you? I'm going for five. Are you going to go for five?

Excuse me, stop eating your giant... Are you faffing around? I'm waiting for you to... I'm asking for you to lock in your percentage. I said five. You are locking in five. And then I'm going to eat my kiwi fruit while you faff around.

All right, I'm taking 14. Well, it is 5% of UK domestic houses have some form of air conditioning. This is the worst part. Oh, my God, I feel like I've just won the chase or something. No, you win nothing. That was exhilarating. You win another kiwi fruit. This is the worst part.

1% actually have a fixed, like you would have in many New Zealand homes, have heat pumps that can also air condition. Yes. Cooling. Cooling. 1% have a fixed cooling system, meaning for their house. No, the other, so of the 5%, you know, one of those percents is like a proper air conditioning unit that can do the area.

The other 4% of that is a little portable air conditioning unit that runs in at the wall. Wow. More than a fan. And you run the tube out the window. Yeah, yeah, and it sucks the hot air out. Yeah, we had one of those. Oh, it's terrible.

Yeah. And in fact, their houses, the majority of their houses, because of the age of the UK housing, was actually designed to keep heat in, even in summer months. Right. Because they were always a colder, wetter nation than they were a hot, dry nation that they're currently experiencing. Even to put an air con unit, you'd have to be,

if you had some backyard space, you could put a unit, but you'd have to be drilling some pipes through brick. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and put in like a heat pump with an outside unit. There might not even be a place for the unit. Yeah. What about workplaces? Workplaces far higher.

Yeah, because isn't that why a lot of people have been spending a lot of time not working from home? It's actually pushed up work at workplace numbers. So the highest percentage-wise places, 4% of leisure centres, so you think your gyms and stuff, have air conditioning. So people have been going to gyms, but again, you might just have a gym that's got a fan, not actually some sort of climate control

situation. Secondary schools, you think, they're on summer break at the moment, I think it's summer holidays over there for kids, but otherwise, only 1% of state secondary schools have any form of air conditioning. Think of, have a

space in your heart for the emergency services. Less than 0.1% of fire and ambulance stations have any sort of cooling. Oh, I'm going to message my friends who's a paramedic in London. I'll say, how's your air con? How's your sweaty? How's your air con? How's your sweaty? How's your sweaty pits?

How's your sweaty? Prisons, 0.2%. Yeah, right. So there's going to be some sweaty, sweaty prisoners. Hospitals, 8%, 8.3%. But even then, like, that's less than 10% of the total hospital space have like full-blown air conditioning. How are they going to survive? How are they going to function?

Because you'd also imagine the percentage of houses that have them would be those rich, three-story townhouse situation. Yeah. So when it comes to offices, you said about people who are actually going to work, some of the highest of the private offices, 44% of private offices have some sort of air conditioning. Oh, God. And that is the highest by miles.

Wow. Retail, small shops have about 10%, but hairdressers, 0.5%. How are you supposed to get a good haircut when it's stinking, stinking hot and you're sweating in the humidity, making it all puff up? No wonder they're all wiring on about it.

Yeah. So there's just like residentially people in their own homes, bugger all have air conditioning, 5%. Wow. 5% and the most likely place you're going to get cool in the UK heat waves is actually sadly at work. Wow. Yeah, so today's fact of the day is the Brits are literally melting.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Yesterday I was at the gymnasium and I had a call come through. And I've been getting a lot of calls lately, just scam, spam. Yeah, I missed one yesterday that said they were calling from the west coast of the South Island. And I thought... I had a west coast the other day too.

Did you? I was like, this is me. I'm going to be headhunted to go and run a gold mine okay but it's yeah but this was it do you still have the number in your phone oh three seven three four seven two seven six because i tried calling it back and it just went like it's not a number try it again now west coast maybe it was engaged calling somebody else to headhunt yeah well a lot of these numbers look like they're coming from, like, you know, New Zealand. Yeah. There's even, like, bank scams that'll make

it look like it's coming from your actual bank's number. Oh, yeah, like an 0800 number comes up. Oh, you know. A lot of banks are saying, be wary of that. They'll never ask for your, you know, your login details or your mother's maiden name. Those kind of details. But this call came through and I instantly diverted it to voicemail

and they left a message. I was like, all right, and I've got that Spark app that dictates the message. Oh, yes. Which is pretty cool. So you don't even have to ring up. And it was a rental car place. And this old mate was like just calling.

Was it New Zealand? Yeah, yeah. And he was like, I'm just calling about the rental car. You're overdue. I'm going to have to contact the police. What? And so I listened. You can play the message in the app and it was legit.

So I rang the number back and it went through and he answered and I was like, hello you just rang me and I'm like, have you got the right number because I don't have a rental car. I haven't hired a rental car. That's what someone holding onto a rental car would say.

I know. What name did he say when he started leaving his message? Did he say, hi, Barry, we're after the rental car you're renting over? No, he didn't. He just said his name and where he was from. He didn't say a company. He said his rental company, yeah. And then so I was like, look, I don't have a car.

But you're right, I sounded guilty immediately. Even when you're saying it now, I don't believe you. And then he read back. Where's the car? He read back the number, and it was my number. And I was like, I definitely haven't rented a car. So do you think someone has rented a car with the intention of not returning it? Well he said some woman's

name like Yvonne or Yvette or something That's your girlfriend Yvonne Yvonne slash Yvette yeah and then he said well maybe this six because I've got a six in my number I don't want to give it away but I've got a six in my phone number he said maybe that's a zero

and I said yeah it must be because look this is definitely my but i've got a six in my phone number um he said maybe that's a zero and i said yeah it must because look this is definitely my number you've got here i don't have your car uh so good luck finding your someone someone tucked in a bit tight on the bottom today on the zero so it's coming not perfectly circular so old mates like okay well i'll try the the o2 and then instead of the six oh yeah i'll do a zero a minute later, my phone rings and it's old mate again. Yeah. And I'm like, you've called me again. He's like, oh.

Again, he's probably done the six, the six, the zero. So he's like, well, I'm going to have to go to the police. And I'm like, well, leave my number out of it. I haven't got your car. And I don't know where it is with your ute. So they haven't taken any other form of contact or identification of this person? Apparently he's got some other address or something, but I don't know. Is it your address?

No. Are you going to get a knock on the door this weekend? I did ask. I did say, is it a central address? And he's like, no. So I was like, good. That's not me. Yeah, just leave me out of this.

But I mean, God, I could be dragged into this. Where was he based? Not out of Auckland. Right That's not me. Yeah, just leave me out of this. But I mean, God, I could be dragged into this. Where was he based? Not out of Auckland. Right out of Auckland. Yeah. Wow. Bizarre.

But for a split second, I was like, somebody's got all my info. They've hired a car under my name. And they've ram rated a bloody bank or something. A dairy. A dairy. Yeah. Oh, God. It'd be terrible. But they haven't.

No, because I said to him, I said, I don't have a car. Vaughan just takes me everywhere. But you know you don't. Do you even know how to drive? Yeah, I've got a license. Very erratically. But I've heard it's quite bad. It's really quite something. It's not bad. I've never had an accident. Vaughan's the one that's going to tailgate someone

when he's on his phone. Is that what's happened? Has he had an accident in a rental car? I haven't been on my phone lately because I'm so scared of being one of those people they use as an example. Of that camera trial? That camera trial they did around Auckland. Wow, it's worked. Yeah. Because I'm very

it will be we literally talked about it at the start of the year. No, I'm not a big phone user. They'll my face, but they'll show a black Suzuki Jimny and the same orange and blue top I've literally worn every day since I purchased it in Disneyland. So it will be like, and a beard, and they'll be like, this person will remain anonymous. Everybody knows.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, good luck. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, silly little pose, silly little pose. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pose, silly little pose, silly little pose, silly little pose,

silly little pose. Can ye touch ye toes Without bending yo knees? We've got a new person to ask. Ross Boss is in the office. Can you touch your toes? Historically I have been able to. But at the moment you can't. Don't worry about getting out of the chair

to come closer to the microphone so it sounds better. I mean you're in charge of the place. Don't worry about it. Honestly, this room is just so tense what's going on there's a lot of tension there's a lot of tension

there's a lot of tension in the room oh you're so close oh dude dude the back it's all in you're like me the back's not great at the moment been doing a lot of lying there

but what's it got to do with your back it's all in it stretches up it's a stretch it's your hamstring so isn't it maybe you don't feel it but yeah

well you've got it all the hamstrings pull on the back it all it all don't feel it, but yeah, you've got it all. The hamstrings pull on the back. It all tugs and pulls, and you can see it in the back. I sort of want to give you a little push. You're so close. Nah, because that will probably pull it back out. That'll break it.

It's all for that. So as a country, how do we sit with touching our toes? Well, you guys are in the minority. Really? 37% of people can't touch their toes 63% can touch their toes with straight knees There's a big chunk lying there right? Is it a

No we've decided it's not a female male thing Because Carween and Anna can't touch their toes It's definitely I think if you can do it when you're young There's no guarantee you can do it when you're older But if you couldn't do it when you're young You won't be able to do it when you're older Or something you definitely lose over time You you get less flexible, don't you?

Also a proportion thing, like I'm very long in the torso, from head to groin. No, but see, I've got long arms. Legs are short. My arms are longer than they've got any business being. Yeah. But I still can't. You still can't touch your toes. But then I've got long legs as well, so the long legs, maybe that negates it.

Yeah, see, I've got short legs for a tall girl. So you can reach though. And the torso's doing it. Oh yeah, so you've got an advantage. Advantage. My advantage in life is having short legs for a tall girl. Yay. 63% of people can touch their toes. Some feedback. Ali said stretch every day.

If I miss a day, I can't do it. Use it or lose it. Oh, I don't stretch. But she actually wrote use it or loose it. So she might be able to. But she actually wrote, use it or loose it. So she might be able to touch your toes, but she's misspelled lose. So use it or loose it. Lucy says, if you can't,

stand up straight and spin around three times and try again. Works every time. Oh my God. When I went to learn to touch my toes, this was a thing.

It got me closer, but it didn't get me there. Right. You've still got to get the stretch going. Spin around three times. Yeah, and then do it again and you can... If you can already do it, you'll be able to reach further.

Why'd you spin five times? You can go further. It's easier. I don't know why. Maybe it stretches something out. Maybe the spin. Maybe it just distracts you. Jess says I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and I still can. Oh! What a show off Jess says, I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and I still can. Oh, what a show off.

Man, I'm so bad. Does the belly get in the way? You're squishing it. Yeah. Maybe it pops out. Maybe it drops down a bit. You shouldn't go around it. Vicky said, I have the flexibility of a lamppost.

I'm unable to. Dale said, I clicked no and then I thought, actually, I haven't tried for a long time. And I tried and I can. I was shocked and I've done it again. F yeah, go me. I'd love to know how many people tried seeing the poll. Yeah, or hurt themselves too. Yeah.

It's good to know my mum is in Italy right now in very hot heat. And she's just had a go. Did she have that? Yep, she can do it. Oh, of course she can. Her back's buggered. My nana could do it it right up until she passed. That was a big thing.

She could just be like, boom, grab the ground. Grab the toes. First flexible lady. Catherine says, a few years ago I couldn't, but I wanted to somewhat impress somebody. We didn't see each other for a few months, and during that time I put in the effort, everyday stretching, and now I can touch my toes.

Oh, wow. I hope that worked out for you, Catherine. I hope you got what you wanted out of them, whether that be love or just to impress them. Yeah. Well, have a good day, all you flexible people. Yeah. Keep it bendy.