ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th June 2022

Episode Date: June 19, 2022

Top 6: Ways to make it look bigger  Silly Little Poll!  How was 'The Talk'?Complimentary Compliments  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Fawn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, Graberich,

Smooth, Barista Made Coffee. I'm just looking at a picture of my wife, Jasmiv, the cat. Oh, so cute. Yeah my wife just in the cat. So cute. Cheeto, but Cheechie is what he's You know how cats always get nicknames? You always give them a name, but no pet has ever stuck with its... Everyone gets a nickname.

Yeah. And that reminded me I fed Hayley's cat at the weekend. Rolly, who by the way, this picture only gives dry biscuits Yeah I'm only dry What about some raw meat?

No No Look at the sheen on his coat It's a sheeny coat Give the guy some wet My cat's got a sheeny coat as well Yeah And it's because we do dry biscuit

Yeah Wet food is trash That cat was like It's like eating asbestos. No, he loves it. Our cat eats dry biscuits in conjunction with wet food. No, no, no.

You've got to stop that. Every now and then we give him a little bit of shaved ham. He loves the ham. He comes in and he's like, I'm here about the ham. I can't believe You two are on Dry biscuits Also I love

I love that you asked Vaughan to feed your cat On the Friday That you were leaving You know I was like shit That's the best way To do it

What are you doing tomorrow And her cat Doesn't have a water bowl He drinks out of a glass Now my daughter Thought that was The funniest thing What you leave a glass

Of water next to the bowl Will not lap water out of a bowl. Has to have a glass that he can kind of bury his head into. Yeah. So he's had that cup five years or so. Have you tried a fountain? No, we haven't tried a fountain. Because I've got a fountain and the cat just loves it.

Well, Rolly loves a running tap. Yeah, right. So I'll do a fountain. But you know, dry bickies? Dry biscuits in a glass. In a glass of water. Can I have a cup of water, please, Mum? But he was there when we arrived, but then he ran away.

Yeah, skittish with newbies. I was like, Rolly! Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. Just giving it the full. I didn't care that it wasn't my house or my cat. Yeah, yeah. The neighbours were probably like, Jesus Christ, shut up. Just giving it the full Rolly, puss, puss, puss, and found a dead rat on the lawn.

Yeah, which, by the way, you didn't move. You just left it there. That's not my rat, that's Rolly's rat. Rolly might have recently caught that. I might have interrupted

him bringing that inside. That's out of someone's jurisdiction. If you last minute ask them to go feed your cat, they're not going to pick up a dead rat on your lawn. Maybe in the house

you would have picked it up. But now I've got to because I assumed you would have moved it and then Aaron came home've got to because I assumed you would have moved it and then Aaron came home and then he's gone again and then you told me this morning you didn't move it. So it's still there. Or the cat came back and finished it because you were feeling

nothing but dry shit. So he needs a bit of moisture in the form of offal. Yeah, we don't feed him wet food because he kills a rat a day. But then when I pulled up, I was like, the front lights were on. Yes, I put them on. You put them on. But then that I pulled up, I was like, the front lights were on. Yeah. Yes, I put them on. You put them on. But then that's a surefire way of seeing when someone's definitely away for the weekend

is when during the day their lights are on. Oh, you need to get a timer. Oh, yeah. Get them on a timer. Okay, I'll get those on a timer. And a cardboard cutout on a train set. Well, there was a car in the driveway, this flash beamer. I was like, and he's like, I thought they were away.

I was like, power off. I thought you were going to say, I thought they were poor. I thought they were actors. Aren't actors all poor? Yes, that's right, Indy. Keep studying at school. Don't hinge your bets on being an actor. There's this flash car park in the driveway.

It's not that flash. I thought you were being robbed by someone. Oh, by someone who didn't need a robber. No one's going to rob you in a Series 3 beamer. Yeah. No, it's an old car. It was my that flash. I thought you were being robbed by someone. Oh, by someone who didn't need a robber. But then I was like, no one's going to rob you in a Series 3 Beamer. Yeah. No, it's an old car. It was my dad's. It was my dad's car, and now these retired.

They're downsizing cars. So they drove it up, and then they flew to Italy, and they just left it with us. And Dad was like, take it to Turner's. So now it was just sitting there. This guy's got big dick energy. He really does. He drove it up on his way to Italy and then nonchalantly.

Just left it behind. I don't want it anymore. Fuck that. Take it to Tudors. Do what you will with it. Just get my name off the rego plates. Be great for a ram raid. Yeah, it would be, eh?

Little but powerful. Well built, bit of German engineering. You go through the front doors and then back right out of them. Well, look, if anyone's looking to do a ram raid, he's not asking much for it. It's slightly more style than a Honda Aqua. Boy, do I have the white beamer for you. Short week ahead.

Short week ahoy. Do I look tanned? I'm back from overseas. Oh, yes, I can. Do I pick up a hint of an accent? Maybe just a soft one. Yes. Yeah.

What, you did what, two nights in Melbourne? Yeah. Was it colder than here? So cold. So cold. Was it? Yeah, it was. It was frosty.

We are in for a cold week, though. Yeah, she's a cold week. I feel chilly today, yeah. Especially us semi-tropical North Islanders who have been really reaping the rewards of global warming. How good is an 18 in the winter? Yeah, it's wild. You're like walking around in a T-shirt. In June, nearly July, this is not right.

I put on a singlet this morning. As an insulation layer. As an insulation layer. Wow, wow, wow. Right, well, I've got the lowest temperatures, minus 1.7 in Blenheim at the moment. That's the coldest place in the country right now. Most of the South Island is in over five, apart from Westport.

Nelson, three. Christchurch, six. What are we, about 12? Dunedin, seven. Auckland, nine. Hamilton, six. Wellington, eight. So, yeah, chilly start around the country.

Good on you, Wellington, eight. Good from them. Yeah, good from them. Actually. Yeah. Good on you, Wellington. Eight. Good from them. Yeah, good from them. Actually. Yeah. It's good effort. Not bad. They're just kind of like in that spot, aren't they?

Yeah. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. Sperm counts down. Shlong length also down. This apparently is the future of humanity. It is smaller shlongs. Yes, we're on the

decline. Goodness me. Now I don't know why we peaked. I don't know when we peaked. Are you talking about future schlongs or our current schlongs? I don't know if your schlongs will shrink. It will because you're getting older. I thought it just droops. No.

It's sag. I believe you lack your, well, it's the same reason your skin and everything, you know, doesn't bounce back. Right. Oh, no, collagen. You've got to get it in your smoothies, guys. Keep your schlongs nice and long. Or just choke your schlong in some collagen.

Oh, right. Okay. Or like crum it. A collagen bar. I was thinking more of an Octrex eye bath for the schlong. Like a pre-batter. Yeah, I thought you meant like... Like an egg wash.

Yeah, like put a bit of a flower egg wash kind of situation on it. No, no, no, no. Just maybe a soak in some magnesium or something. Right, well, this is terrible news for humanity. It is, but as a man who's been dealing with this his entire life, I've got the toughest ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting smaller. Okay, all right.

Some great tips coming up on the show for the top six. Or not just a tip. The whole thing. You want to really examine the whole thing. Okay, the whole thing and some tips coming up in the top six soon. Six minutes in, do you reckon we're going to get in trouble? Oh, I love that. It's possible.

Next on the show, though. Science has decided who is the most attractive man in the world. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Good fun, that song. I enjoy it. Speaking of attractive men, was that a good song? No, you've got to work on your segues.

We're really going to work on that. Yeah. You should have said something like, oh, gosh darn, he's attractive. He's a speaking of attractive men. Or British heartthrob. Yeah. That song really exemplifies that Harry Styles places a British heartthrob. Speaking of which.

Speaking of which. Well, speaking of which, I'll just sort of segue off your segue there. I don't know if you could segue off an example of a segue Speaking of segues Speaking of segues Here's one for you So science has decided Who was the most attractive looking guy

In the world Though to be fair They've only compared famous faces Okay right So you two were not entered into the mix. Okay. You were not put into the machine. I'm also not perfectly symmetrical.

Yeah, because you've got the eye thing, don't you? Yeah, I've got an eye thing too. And a smile thing. It's not quite. Oh, you're a bit skew-iff. Yeah. A bit on the piss. Your face is a bit on the piss.

Well, they inputted a lot of famous faces, including Idris Elba, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, a number of people. And for the third year in a row, Robert Pattinson. Scientifically the hottest man in the world. Hell of a jawline. Hell of a jawline. You could cut a block of cheese with it.

Look at it. Well, that's why the Batman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked great for the cowl, didn't he? Yeah. I liked it. Well, that's why the Batman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked great for the cowl, didn't he? Yeah. I liked his emo Batman. Great Batman. Very much on brand for me.

So how they did this is they used the golden ratio. We've heard of this before. Famously used by Leonardo da Vinci to create beautiful faces. Yeah. To calculate the true beauty of a face, the length and the width are measured and then the results are divided. Measurements are taken from the hairline

to the spot between the eyes. That rules us out, because where do you start with the hairline? Yeah, that's true. Right at the back. Yeah. The nape of the neck. Measurements taken from the hairline

to the spot between the eyes, so you couldn't have like a massive forehead or one that's too short. And the bottom of the nose. spot between the eyes, so you couldn't have like a massive forehead or one that's too short. And the bottom of the nose. Finally, the person's face is measured from the bottom of the nose to the bottom of the chin like this. Yeah, right.

And they work it all out. And Robert Pattinson, perfect face basically. He scored something like a 92.5. 92.5% beautiful. Bella Hadid is the one that always wins the female. Really? Because she's symmetrical. She's very symmetrical. And that golden ratio. She's a 90. What did you say Pattinson's percent was? 92.5.

She's a 94.3. Hot. And what if those two got together and made babies? Yeah. Ugly. Imagine that. Probably. You've got parents in the 90 percentile of symmetry. Well, everyone's expecting a lot too, so your expectations are high.

You're only going to be let down by expectation. Bradley Cooper's up there, 91.08. Brad Pitt, 90.51. And George Clooney, 89.91 for the golden ratio. But, I mean, yeah, it just shows why they're movie stars. Classically handsome. Classically handsome. You know me.

I like it a bit lop. Yeah. Yeah. A bit rough. A bit rough and rugged and scarred. For those listening out there that aren't symmetrical, that's your hope. That aren't 92.5. That's your hope that there's people like you that like someone who's a bit lop.

Love an absolute uggo. Me? Love an absolute five. Imagine what it would be like. You're at home. You're in your trackies. Our pets is like, well, I'm headed out. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where do you think you're going? I'm just going to go out for a few drinks. The hell you are, 95. Sit down. How do you go with a face like that? You go out there. Jesus. Everyone in the pub is going to be throwing themselves at you.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yes. Yes. Yes! We said when it happened. This would make a great TV Sunday night theatre. Yep. It is getting a series called Far North.

And it's based on the 90 Mile Beach drug bust. You may or may not remember. This was a wild story. It was such a fascinating story that a boat washed up, right? Yeah. And it got stuck. It tried to get up onto the beach,

but then it got stuck. It didn't land where the trailer was. There was a whole lot of trouble. Now up north, everybody's willing to help you out if you've got yourself into a bit of a pickle. So all the locals are like, you need a hand, mate. And everyone's like, no, no, no, no, stay away from it, you bastards. And they're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

So word gets around. It's all sus. It turns out there's like 500 kgs of meth on this boat. So initially, no, initially they're trying to, because I reread the story yesterday, they're initially trying to launch a boat and they couldn't. And then they go and buy another one.

And then launch that. Yes. Because the drugs were pushed off a boat, right? Out at sea. They needed to get out there. They were meeting a boat. And then they abandoned this really expensive boat on the beach. When did this happen? What year?

Seven or eight years ago? They were only... Oh, no, no, no, sorry. It said it was the largest meth bust until 613 kg of meth was seized at Auckland Airport in March this year. Yeah. 2016.

Congrats to that new record breaker. Yeah. Always nice to see people shooting for the stars. June 9, 2016, a group of men piqued the interest of Aripaha Ahipara locals as they attempted to launch a $40,000 boat in a notoriously difficult spot on Nani Ma'o Beach. The swells hamstrung their effort to reach a mothership

anchored offshore as the boat was damaged. Oh, dear. A second boat was bought in from Auckland, and bought in Auckland this time for $98,000 in cash. In cash. Jesus Christ. This is it. Tapers.

Clowns running the circus and successfully launched to retrieve 494 kgs of meth dropped at sea. The boat was later found abandoned on the beach. And then they pull over this dodgy camper and that's where all the meth is. Yeah. It's just wild. And they discovered 52 further kgs of meth buried in the sand dunes. Oh, God. Meth in the sand. Well, you'd want cages of meth buried in the sand dunes. Oh, God. Meth in the sand.

Well, you'd want it wrapped. You don't want sandy meth. You don't want sandy meth. So then who, the people that they arrested also had an All Blacks connection. Jonah Lomo's cousin? No. Remember when they were, and this woman is a relation of Jonah Lomo, I'm sure, who had passed away by the time.

But it was like, it just had everything. It really did. This calamity stuff. And then they're like, and we've caught the person. And they're related to one of our most well-known All Blacks. Like, it was just like. Wow. It had it all.

Yeah. And now it's going to be made into a TV series. Yes, I know this. Let's just say someone very close to me is popping up on there. And you didn't tell us? They're popping up on there and they're not there to sell electricity. That's all I'll say. All right, okay.

Yeah, gas or broadband, isn't it? But we do know that Robin Malcolm and Timueta Morrison. Yeah, I just saw a photo of them in it. This is amazing. I'm so excited about this. Me too. Apparently they haven't Apparently they haven't

Done a big thing like this Since Shorty Street Together A big thing together Yeah they haven't worked together Like a big project like this I mean Uncle Tim's had his fair share

Of big projects lately He's kind of Been at the foot Of the Boba Fett And Mandalorian Yeah I'm surprised He's even got time But then wasn't

During the lockdowns Wasn't he laying some concrete? Yeah he was just doing what he needed to do to make ends meet. I love that. Mucking in. I've got a driveway actually.

I might, I'll get Aaron to talk to him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't even think he'd even have time to lay some concrete with all of the Mandalorian

and Boba Fett and all of his work on the guy. It's good to stay grounded, like stay humble down to earth. Yep, absolutely. Well, yeah, that's filming at the moment so I guess we'll have that to look forward to next year.

Is it a Sunday night theatre thing, or I think it's a series or something? It's a series, yeah. I don't know how many episodes it's getting. Oh, six part? A mini series. Described as a dark comedy series. Yes, good stuff.

Well, it's got to be comedic, because I mean... It was such a calamity at the time. It really was. All right, the top six is next on the show. Yeah, the top six ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting smaller. And yes, I am speaking about exactly what you think I am. Play ZM's Fletchvorne and Ailey

from the sophisticated ZM Think Tank. This is the top six. Just want to say that producer Jared brings us this piece of content today. He also then sat in shock as it was put into the spreadsheet. Yeah. I hate to break this to you. Sperm counts going down.

Penis size also on the decline. Goodness me. Related? The spermies don't hang out in the willy. Is it nature's way of saying, well, if you don't need this, if you're not using it... I'm using mine, nature, please. Leave me be.

What's the point? Leave me be. I don't know. There's a whole lot. Isn't everybody's... Aren't we all bloody... Isn't the Roundup giving us boobies and soy milk's giving us testicles? Oh, yeah, the chicken.

It's the chicken. It's what's in the chickens. Oh, yeah, the chicken. It's the chicken. It's what's in the chickens. Oh, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's chemicals and stuff. Yeah, right. Wasn't it terrible? Men's willies getting smaller and women's breasts getting bigger.

We're like, bye, guys. And he's like, I can't keep that. Okay, well, I like the top six ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting smaller. Okay. Number six.

Angles. It's all about the angles. It's all about the angles. All about the angles. You've got to find the right angle, though. You don't want too much ball being prism. No. Just saying.

So not from under. Not from under. Down there. Not under. Yeah, well certainly if you're looking down looking up, it looks bigger. Down looking up. Oh yeah, certainly a down up, but don't get too far under. Yeah, well certainly if you're looking down, looking up, it looks bigger. Oh yeah, certainly a down up, but don't get too far under. No, not too far

back. Yeah, yeah. Keep it at a 45, correct. Maybe 60 at a push. So even if it's shrunk a little, don't go 90 or 180. You can't 180. No, no, no. 180 would be eye to eye, under. Yeah, no, no, no. You know the cool thing about, no, no. 180 would be eye to eye, under.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. You know the cool thing about the new, I don't know about your phone, but my iPhone has that. I don't know where this is going. So if you were taking a picture of me and your friends, you put it on wide lens and you were like a little bit taller and skinnier. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My legs. Yeah, I know. My legs in this.

So great. Oh, my God. So could you do that for the same for your, yeah. But again, the angle, because you don't want your balls being elongated. Yeah, you're going to lose a bit of width. You're going to lose a bit of width as well. You are going to lose width. Which could be an issue.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. All right, we've only done one. We've got five more to go, and I like our passion for the topic, but let's move on. Number five on the list of the top six ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting small.

I mean, this is 101. Shave those pubes, baby. Get rid of them. Who's still rocking a pube these days? They're not needed anymore. Evolutionarily, what are you doing? Keeping the dust off it? Yeah.

Do you reckon, like, we will evolve without them? Because we're all just removing them anyway? Less and less hairy, right? Yeah. So, maybe. Number four on the list of the top six ways to keep it looking big

in a world where it's getting smaller. Only let it be seen in photos with miniatures like tiny booze bottles or those New World little shop items. Yeah, great.

If you can flop it adding to a kg of cheese and it's eight times the length, that's going to be impressive, you know? Yeah, yeah. going to be impressive, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But also daunting.

Yeah. Daunting and scary. We'll say New World officially nothing to do with this. Either you don't like it or not, they're used for it. They are, I say. Have you seen grocery prices? Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to keep it looking big

in a world where it's getting smaller, never get cold. Yeah. Move to your Pacific Islands. It's not a good where it's getting smaller. Never get cold. Move to your Pacific Islands. It's not a good day to say this one. No, no. I'd really bundle it up down there. What about some possum undies? You know you can get possum nipple warmers?

I could make you some of those. I had a kill last night. Oh, God. What, you're going to skin it now? Probably left it a bit late. You've got to skin them fresh, don't you? Otherwise they're going to skin it now? Probably left it a bit late. Yeah. You've got to skin it fresh, don't you? Otherwise, they're hard to skin. Just buy one.

Just buy one. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting smaller. Move to another country. Cambodia, for example. Cheap cocktails, lovely climate, and on average, the men's penis centimetres is 10. I'm flustered.

Men's penis centimetres. A list of these. Penis size by country, 2022. Do you know where else you could? I mean, it's not looking good for Southeast Asia, I'll say that. Do you reckon that's 10? That? Yeah.

A third of a ruler? Yeah. Well, yeah, a third of a 30 centimet? Yeah. A third of a ruler? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, a third of a 30-centimetre ruler. A third of a subway. Is that at full attention? Yes. Cambodia.

Your face. It's fair to say Aaron's not Cambodian in any stretch of the imagination. Cambodia, Taiwan, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, Hong Kong, Bangladesh, Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia. Where's New Zealand on the list? Yeah, we were like 20, no, 40-something, weren't we? We're nestled nicely in between North Macedonia

and Cape Verde. At number? We're a, rocking a 13.99. So 14 centimetres. Almost half a 13.99. So 14 centimetres. Almost half a ruler. Yeah. We're doing all right.

Right to the top of the list. Ecuador! Ecuador! Don't move to Ecuador! Well, I mean, ladies, please knock yourself out. Gentlemen who enjoy gentlemen, knock yourself out. Anyone who enjoys gentlemen, move to Ecuador if you like them big. And bananas.

And the Galapagos Islands. Scorch, scorch, scorch. In fact, the top three all-banana-producing nations. Really? Bolivia and Cameroon. Must be something about that line. Haiti. No, it's not because those Southeast Asian countries I just mentioned.

Oh, yeah. Potassium. It must be the potassium. Huge amounts of potassium. Anyway, let's carry on with the list. Cuba tied with the Netherlands. Yeah. Just thought you might find that fascinating.

Generations of, you know, oppressive communist rule. Cuba's still packing. Number one on the list of the top six ways to keep it looking big in a world where it's getting smaller. Pack up that small penis champ and head out into a world that's still aggressively shaped in your favor. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It's still very much a male's world.

So get out there with that little tackle and tackle the big world. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, news that the Ministry of Transport is reviewing speeding fines here in New Zealand. Because apparently fines for speeding on New Zealand roads have been unchanged since the turn of the century. Really? Does that mean like 99, 2000?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that's probably not as. I think the last major overhaul was like the 70s, right? Yeah. And still compared to the rest of the world, they're quite cheap. New Zealand speeding fines.

So they're saying that the infringements and fines at the moment are out of date. International studies have shown that increases in financial penalties for speeding can reduce fatal crashes between 1% and 12%. Really? Because we don't want to get a ticket. So they are saying that they may look at linking speeding fines to income. Right. And making changes to the demerit points. Now, I've heard of, there are some places overseas. Now, have a listen to income. Right. And making changes to the demerit points. Now, I've heard of, there are some places overseas. Now, have a listen to this.

I found this story from Finland. They do this in Finland. Scandinavia is massive on fines. So they link the speeding fines to your salary. They pulled over somebody who was going 65 in a 50. Oh, yeah. And they, because the police, they have links to the, I guess,

their version of the IRD database. And they gave him his speeding fine, 54,000 euros, because he earns 6.5 million a year. In 2002, a no-care executive was fined for going 45 in a 30. He was fined $103,000. What?

What, what, what? Even a rich person can't just sort of like spare that. Well, an NHL player, he had a fine of $39,000. That was going 45 in a 30 as well on a motorcycle. So that's a guy that plays in the NHL, which is America, the National Hockey League. Yeah. But obviously he's from the area, so he's gone home.

So they know his... Income. Or maybe he was getting the money paid. I don't know how that... Yeah. That's another thing I want to know. What if you're a contractor? So your wages change year to year.

Oh my God, you had a good year last year. You had a great year. Are they fining you in the year, the last financial year? And is it good for the police to know everybody's income? Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh, yeah. Famously, like, we're not paying our emergency services enough.

Fire. Yeah. Everybody in the health sector. So you rock and break in the law with your big fat salary as well. Yeah. They're not going to listen to you. Yeah, yeah. But wouldn't you pull over people in rich cars anyway

because you just know that they'll be able to afford it and you'd feel less bad? Yeah, I guess you've got to be able to prove it though. Well, if you're speeding, you're speeding, right? Yeah, yeah. Exactly, yeah. But yeah, that's just one thing they're looking at. To be fair though, I remember when I first left drama school,

had no money and I got a speeding ticket on a roadie and it stuffed up my month basically trying to pay it off because it was like 120 bucks. Yeah, yeah, totally. And at the time it was like, I don't have that. And scrambling and then it was late and then it was causing all this stress.

If you were the CEO for a company and you were earning so much money, you wouldn't care. You wouldn't sneeze at one too many. If you were on that roadie and you got pulled over, you wouldn't care, would you? No, you wouldn't. Because you're like, well, I'm a CEO,

I earn so much money. It's just, that's just a little bit of... Yeah, I guess then you wouldn't change your speeding habits. Yeah, so maybe it is a good thing. But yeah, they're looking at it. But then aren't the super rich really good at making it look like they don't earn any money? Yeah.

So if they're super, super rich. It's all hidden and... Yeah. I know, that's how all the farming kids got student allowances. It's all tied up in a trust mate. Oh, yeah. Sorry, it's all tied up in a trust mate. No, no, no, no liquid.

Yeah. Nothing liquid. And we couldn't even get an allowance. Yeah. I'm just like, how is this fair? Wow. So are they thinking about how is this fair? Wow. So are they thinking about trialling this? Well, they're reviewing everything at the moment.

So yeah, it certainly is something that they're looking at. Hopefully it doesn't go to that point though. $100,000 fines. But I mean, that was the guy that was earning $6.5 million. Yeah, I know, I'm scared. Do you earn $6.5? Don't you? No.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole all about about butter and the fridge or the pantry. This is a really controversial topic. It is. I'm always the fridge. Always the fridge. I was just trying to find some science to back up my belief. Fridges don't have a butter conditioner anymore.

No, they don't. You used to have this little compartment on a fridge and you'd slide the butter in there. And this was before the days of semi-soft where you could buy a semi-soft butter or a spreadable butter straight from the little container. But you'd put your block of butter in there and it kept it warmer than the rest of the fridge. Yes. And so it was soft and spreadable. Otherwise, you were in the cupboard with like a special butter dish. Yeah.

But the butter still keeps okay in the pantry, right? Well, only for a few days though. Oh, okay. So the pasteurization process means that it won't go off. It's like safe enough, but only for a few days because the high fat content will soon oxidize and it will spoil. It'll go off. You know, I learned...

Anything longer than a few days. You know how you can buy mayonnaise off the shelf? Yeah. Commercially produced mayonnaise. Yeah. Off the shelf. And you're like, how long has that been sat there for?

And it's got a long best before that, but the minute you open it, you always refrigerate it, right? But the seal. The seal. No, you don't need to. Apparently it's so acidic that, like, your average, like,

food contaminants can't survive in it anyway. Wow. It can go mouldy, but it's not like a... Right. Mould's no big deal. Why not just put it in the fridge? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you totally can, but that's how long it can just sit on a shelf for so long.

Huh. Okay. Did I just ruin today's fact of the day? You may. I may need to find another one. No. That was just one in the running, I think. Okay, right.

Is it butter heavy show? No, it's a non-dairy related fact of the day. Well, today's silly little poll. 74% of people said butter in the fridge. 26% in the pantry. Jasmine says, idiots, who wants hard fridge butter? Jazz has spoken. You could give it a little soften.

If you're going through Your butter quick Otherwise like you said It'll go off after a few days It goes rancid If your big butter spread is You've got a big family And everyone's having Sandwiches and toast

Daily Totally Yeah You'd get through it Quick enough Maddie McLean Has commented Who does

Bloody Holiday Western Australia Looks so nice. My dad, I told you he ran into my parents at the airport. I've heard the full story now.

Dad said they saw him on the plane, but he was wearing a mask and they were like, man, that looks like Manny McClane, but we're not sure. Then they said he got to Sydney

and they saw him hugging a woman and they were like, can't be. I was like, what? Do gay men not hug women? Could it possibly be?

Could it possibly be? Could it possibly be? Gay men find the thought of women so repugnant they can't touch them. And dad's like, no, no, it just wasn't one of those sorts possibly be. Couldn't say, well, gay men find the thought of women so repugnant they can't touch them. And Dad's like, no, no, it just wasn't one of those sorts of hugs. I was like, oh, Dad, there's a lot to unpack here. Not just like an all-embracing hug, but that's like, that's Matty McClane 101.

Anyway, they did see him at the airport. They had a chat to him. Matty said both, cooking butter in the fridge, spreading butter in the pantry. No one likes cold butter breaking through the bread. We slice a bit off and put it in a ramekin and give it a little nuke, like 10, so it's soft.

We'll just put it on the toast and it'll melt itself. Yeah, stack it up. I don't mind if it doesn't melt. It's just a big chunk. Yeah. Robin says fridge in summer, pantry in winter. She's seasonally changing her mind there. Dominic says, neither.

It stays in an airtight container on the bench or in that butter thing. So that's the pantry. We're talking room temp. He's not following instructions. Kumar, but Kumar's put hyphens in the middle of their name. K-U-hyphen-M-hyphen-A-R. K-U-M-A-R. Kumia. Kumia.

Okay. I don't actually know why I keep it in the fridge. I probably should move it to the pantry, seeing as though I love spreadable butter on my toast. Make the move. Stacey, I like to cut little bits off to keep in the pantry for crumpets, hot cross buns, etc. But the rest of the block stays in the fridge, waiting to be used for baking or cooking.

Crumpets. Yum. Good stuff. But if you're going to lube up a crumpet, it's golden syrup. Yeah, but also you can put cold butter on a hot crumpet and it melts into the holes. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. And then throw it onto the plate and then you mop it up. Bronte said people who put it in the pantry should be sent away for a long time.

I agree. And Charlotte said summer in the fridge, every other season pantry because they don't want it to rip their bread. It's a seasonal, what is a seasonal choice? Seasonal buffer. People have got some hot pantries. Your pantry's supposed to be a cool room. Yes.

Get a cool room. Get that pantry cooled right down. There you go. That's all the feedback. I'm trying to remember if I even had the talk about the birds and the bees. I don't know that I actually had, all right, hails. I'm going to tell you a thing or two about life. I had the book, Where Do I Come From?

Yeah. And why am I changing? Why am I changing and where did I come from? Where did I come from Yeah And why am I changing Or where Why am I changing Why am I changing And where did I come from Where did I come from Why am I changing

What's happening to me Something like that That was the puberty one Yeah And then the where did I We did the puberty one first And then the baby one Yeah

And of course we all had the At school Sex ed Sex ed The chats We just had it as part of science Is that where everybody else had it No we had.

We had like special. Health. Yeah. Seem to remember like a little bit of it intermediate, but not. I don't think I ever got the proper big school chat. Right. But did Christine sit you down? Oh, yeah.

We had multiple. Oh, okay. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, there was the one with the puberty chat. Yeah. And I think because I was in the middle, I sat through it when my brother got it

and then sat through it when my sister got it. Right. So I got, that was interesting. Yeah. And then this is how babies are made. Right. Situation. I'm looking up at the, where did I come from,

which is when I got it. It had a picture of a stork and that kind of stuff. Something around, there's the picture of the naked man and woman with love hearts and they're under the covers. And the writing says, by this time, the man wants to be as close to the woman as he can by feeling very loving to her. And to be this close, the best thing he can do is lie with her

and put his willy inside of her. Yes. Well, there you go. That's the basics right there. Yeah, I remember reading it and just being so confused. A study's found that there are some parents that just want to avoid this chat altogether. So, are you doing some maths?

20 times 5. 100. Just wanted to make sure. 20% of parents say they will never have the talk of their kids. They just won't go there. So they'll just leave it up to the school? No, they're the same parents that don't want the school doing it.

They're the same parents that don't want the school doing it. They don't want it talked about. They don't want anything and then their 16 year old's pregnant and they're like how did this happen? They said that 58% of people have already spoken to their kids between the age of 5 and 18. 18?

Between the ages of 5 and 18. 18? That's a huge, between the ages of 5 and 18, that's 13 years of drastic difference. Absolutely. Yeah, it really is. 21% plan to do so in the future, maybe leave it a little bit later. I think if they've got to 18, you're probably not going to be able to tell them much. They'll be like, yeah, I know, I was doing it last night.

That's not how we do it anymore, Mum. Yeah. Go home for your 21st and they're like, all right, I think it's time for a chat. It's time. Now soon you're going to feel a little tingly feeling when you look at a man or a woman.

I get the tingly feeling when I look at both, father. No, son of mine! No, son of mine! Anyway, I wanted to know because I don't know if I had the talk or if I can't remember the talk

or if it was just the book. But we want to know did you have the talk and how bad was it? Did it go wrong? How awkward was it? Maybe you were an inquisitive child

with tons of questions and that just like your parents were like whoa let's okay I'm going to write all these down and I'll do my research

we'll meet back here. Or maybe mum and dad went like overboard and did like a PowerPoint presentation on the TV. I thought you were going to say a display.

I was like they'll be in prison if they did the display. Or maybe it was, maybe it came about because you caught your parents in the act. Oh, yeah. You know, and then you went. I remember one of my friends did and then told me about it. And then she had said like, what are you doing? What are you doing to her?

We're just having a cuddle. All right. So give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M is the number. You can text as well, 9696. How bad was your talk? Yeah, how did it go down? And maybe you just wanted to dig a big hole and die.

Maybe you've given the talk and it went bad. Yeah. Some parents. All right, give us a call. Don't love me, baby. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. right give us a call we're talking about how badly your quote the talk went the birds and the bees the birds and the bees chat because 20 of parents apparently just have no plan of ever doing it they're like oh don't don't And also don't do it as a talk. Just be open to questions

and talking about it all the time. Yeah, don't make it an event. Yeah. Have you had it as a father? Absolutely. As it pops up, as the questions arise or as like something happens or...

Yeah, totally. You just explain it as you go. Yeah. Because then you kind of rip away the taboo-ness of sex. That's strange. I've got the book. I think I've still got it.

I think we've kept it. Like in our childhood books. Has it aged well? We got ours out of the Morrinsville Library. Imagine how many people were educated by that one book. Yeah, beautiful. Handed around and returned after a week. I don't imagine it's aged terribly, but it's very heteronormative.

That was it. It was like a man and a woman. 100%. Yeah. 100%. All right, well, some messages. And how bad did the talk go? Maybe it was super embarrassing.

Maybe you just don't want to relive it, but we're going to make you. Yeah. Somebody said the topic started being covered on a family drive somewhere. Oh, no. We're stuck. My parents couldn't escape us. So we were absolutely hitting on them with questions. Dad had to pull over and go get himself an ice cream because it was all a bit too much.

Can you cool down? Love it. I'm just going to stop it. I need to go get an ice cream. I need a mint choc chip. Yeah, rub and razor, mate. Got to calm the nerves. Calm the nerves. We still need to be able to drive. I need an ice cream. I need a mint choc chip. Yeah, no. Rub and razor, mate. Got to calm the nerves. Calm the nerves.

We still need to be able to drive. Ah, we've got some calls. No. We don't have any calls. Well, no, they're sorting them out. They're brewing. They're brewing. For Christ's sake.

I don't know what texts they sent in. I'm just going to start reading them. She's giving me the nod of approval. I'm a teacher at an intermediate school, and I can tell you parents are still definitely trying to opt out of teaching puberty and sex ed. Really? However, as a teacher, it's one of my favourite subjects to teach after the initial giggles and embarrassment

from the students. They bloody love it because they're learning about something that's actually going to affect them. Yeah. I was just saying off air though that my sex ed at single sex private school was all, you're going to get pregnant, this is how it's going to ruin your body and this is what the worst is. you're going to get pregnant this is how it's going to ruin your body and this is what the worst is. You're going to get herpes

Yeah, you're going to get pregnant and have herpes basically. Did it scare you? Did it scare you enough? I don't have a baby Do you have herpes? Time will tell Somebody said after reading through messages that I'd been sending my girlfriend when my mum picked up my phone

Oh mum. Breach of trust. She came up to me with absolute disgust and said, I hope you're wearing a bloody condom now. Empty the dishwasher.

That's a good chat. That's a good, that's a good chat. I was shut in my room with a copy of Where Do I Come From at age 10. No discussion.

A few years later I was told to give my younger brother the talk because I'd read the book. Is delegation good parenting? No delegation is good management but I don't believe delegation is good parenting Do you think now that like

young kids would just Google? Would use those would just search for it? Yeah 100% Yes but also Google what? Yeah exactly One word you know the not scientific word for a body part. Do you reckon work will hang out? How do you make a baby?

We'll leave you Googling there. Grace, good morning. Morning. How did your talk go? It went really casual. Like, throughout my whole life, I've always been a very questionable, like I ask a lot of questions. And my parents have always been very open-minded as to how to approach those questions.

Like my father, he always said, you know, it was never if you found a man that you liked. It was always if you found a person that you liked. Oh, good on you, Dad. Yeah, yeah. No, Dad's fantastic. But, yeah, no, it was always very, as long as you are safe and happy and healthy and, you know, in a good position, then it's just be safe. What position did he... Sorry, I had to ruin it.

You were saying something really beautiful. It was so wholesome. It was so wholesome. Yeah, no, it's always been like, because it's just another part of life and as long as you know the correct details, you can do it safely. Oh, that's a good tip for any parents listening, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. That's so nice.

Grace, thanks for your call. Anonymous, how did your chat with mum go, the birds and the bees chat? I was about 10 or 11 years old and she did the chat and then at the end of it, she said, raised her fingers, and then she said, do you know what this means? And I went, no.

She said, it means that if somebody does this to you, they want to sleep with you. Which finger? Jesus, Mum. I'm not sure. Flipping the bird? Yeah, no, the two fingers. Oh, wow.

I thought the origins of ripping the fingers out of someone was to show that they were an archer and they had two fingers. Because if they caught the archer, they'd cut off one of the fingers so it was harder to pull back the bow. Oh, right. That's why you give them the one finger. I don't know where mum grew up. Sounds like a...

Well, we were driving down the road one day and these boys went past in a car and they did the fingers at me and I was just mortified. You thought, wow, I know what this means now. Wow. Amazing anonymous sex. We're sharing some more texts to finish up.

Someone said, I'm a teacher and I would recommend you could do this at home too. When we do puberty, I operate a question box. Everyone has to ask a question. Even if you don't have one, you can write, I have no question, but everybody has to put a piece of paper in the box. Yep. You ask a question. Even if you don't have one, you can write, I have no question, but everybody has to put a piece of paper in the box.

Yep. You just get the wildest questions. That's a better way, eh? Other than, rather than you telling her, you just answer. Totally.

That would be so fascinating to see what questions they asked. Yeah. Because I remember a question being asked that I actually, we must have had a chat because I was,

with this question being asked by this dude called Richard in our intermediate class. And he asked that. And everyone was just like, just that slow turn of the head towards Richard. Just being like, you should not have said that. What did Richard ask? I can't wait.

I'll tell you in private. It's just so weird. It was a mix between like nothing to do with that really weird let's turn off the mics for a second yeah okay i'll try to think okay just really just once give us a moment just got to talk so the uh uh okay you need to get it out. Ready? Three, two, one. Which, as you can see,

everyone, like, no one even laughed. Everyone just went, and turned their heads towards them all, just like, there must have been some guys in the class that were like, valid question. Answer that one, miss. Just, and she couldn't. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

It's Kate Bush running up that hill on ZM. So what, that song was made in 1985? 86 or 87. Before I was born. Yeah. So it's huge all over the world. Number one in most countries because of Stranger Things.

It appeared on the Netflix show. And people have pointed out that she is the writer of that song, the producer, the owner of that song. Unlike most songs nowadays, which are owned by... Multiple people. Multiple people, maybe the record companies. And they worked out that last week, it had 57 million eligible chart streams around the

world on Spotify alone and that would equate to $200,000 in royalties in just one week. And that's like US. Wait, you get 57 million pies, how many dollars in royalties? 200,000. Does that seem enough? Does it quite add up? It does. No, no. Artists have always said that unless you're like Adele or Ed Sheeran, you're not making a lot of money. You go out and buy the cassette.

Yeah. You're not making a lot of money. I think she's making more money than she was expecting to be making in 2022. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fair call. So she should just be happy with her lot. It's what we say.

Whoa, whoa. Yeah, sure. 728 on the show. On Friday, I was out with some friends, and we were heading back to my place for some more drinky-poos. And we ran into one of my friend's friends, and she was out getting takeaways. I hate stopping for a friend's friend.

Yeah, and you're also trying to pull, like, keep going. You don't really know them. You don't know them, so you just have to. No, I just stand back. I'll just remove myself from the situation. Sometimes if it's even my friend, I'll remove myself. You just disappear. We know.

You've got enough people to talk to here. We know. Only five metres away. But they had been buying some takeaways, and they were with their silly little dog, which is one of those, it was kind of curly. Like a toy. Like a toy looking dog.

You said silly little dog, but you're holding your hands at a medium dog. A medium silly little dog, like a curly dog, like some kind of poodle cross. Okay. And I know it feels like I'm going to swear. Yeah. Like a ship poo. Yeah.

I want to say it was like something like that. It was kind of cute. And I did pat it because I was waiting for my friend to finish the conversation. And then this dog barks at this man walking past. Yeah. Like had not been barking at all. People walking past us all the time. And that's when my friend's friend says, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

My dog's racist. And I was like, what? And apparently it was a racist dog and she was very apologetic and she said oh look yeah we took it to the vet um and and apparently the vet said well you you you may not have well the vet was in there in a bit so yeah that was when they knew it wasn't just asians yes it was um well the vet Well, the vet said if you don't expose a dog to different kinds of people... People of different origins. It can be.

And apparently this is a thing. This is known. This is known. My friend, I'm sure she won't mind. I reckon she's just come online now, so she's listening. Hi. She's got a little shit poo and a little bit racist. And she's like, I don't know what to do.

Well, you've got a French dog and Shih Tzu's Chinese origin, I think. Yeah. The Shih Tzu dog. That's a multinational dog. It should be more open. It should be more. But it's funny, like, when we hang out, if anyone of colour walks past, she just goes mad.

Isn't that wild? My friend's like, oh, my god, I'm so sorry. You could see she was mortified. And you know, she was obviously from what my friend said, a lovely person and not racist herself. I love Google. How do you fix a racist dog?

I was just like, it was wild to watch though. Bizarre, isn't it? We went to the beach yesterday and our dog barked at a lady. But I think it was because she had like a hat on. And then she looked like a beekeeper. She looked like a beekeeper. Or she had like a sun hat on.

It was like a sun hat. Okay. But then the sun had net curtains at the end. No, it wasn't an insect keeping the flies out. It wasn't an insect heavy day. Was she keeping the flies out? It wasn't an insect heavy day. We're in winter, famously. Yeah. Not as many insects around.

I don't know what she had going on. Maybe she... Maybe, do I sound racist now? Maybe your dog's just got a thing for boonies. It wasn't, I don't believe it was any sort of cultural headwear. It certainly wasn't because it would just look like, you know, those hats you get from Mitre 10 or Bunnings, the big straw hats. Yes, yeah. With a net. And then a net. Oh, weird. And the dog was just like, you know those hats you get from Mitre 10 or Bunnings, the big straw hats? Yes, yeah.

With a net. And then a net. Oh, weird. And the dog was just like, no, no, no, no. Are you a beekeeper? So apparently the only way to fix a racist dog is basically by, yeah, exposure. Like introducing the dog constantly to people of different shapes, sizes, colours, everything. Right.

And apparently it's quite popular. It's quite common. Common, yeah. It is, apparently. God, well. Just to witness it, I was like, whoa. Well, you heard it here first. Hayley said racism was popular.

I did. Trend alert. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. You guys get those weekly emails from work and they're like, here's how you've spent your time this week. No, I unsubscribe from that. You unsubscribe from that.

I don't need emails clogging up my inbox. Yeah, I do a delete all. Because I figure we must be listed as our work hours starting at five. Yeah. And I don't know if it's just like eight hours from there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when we do prep at night, it's considered working outside of our work hours.

So I've even had one that's like, hey, we've just noticed every day this working week, you've worked outside of it. Take some time for yourself. Oh. I was like, you know what? I will take some time for myself. Really?

Because I don't think the system knows how little work you do do. Between 10am and 7pm. Dumb AI. Dumb algorithm. You'll never catch me. Wow.

So, you know, I'm thinking about cutting right back. I'm thinking about... I mean, that's good. I'm trying to get more of that work, life, life, life,

life, life, life balance. Yeah, right. I need more life in more of that work, life, life, life, life, life, life balance. Yeah, right. I need more life in that work-life balance. Should we, as a show, do a four-day work week? Yeah. Except they'll make us all take different days. No, that's horrible. I couldn't care what we're going to hang out.

No, no, no. I mean, but we'll just have to do the show with two of us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, a study has found that seven in ten people are open to answering work email after hours. Don't do this. Unless it's a billable thing, don't do it. Or unless you've got flexible, does this include people with flexible work hours?

No, because this is considered outside of their work hours. So even if it's flexible, it's outside of their agreed upon flexibility. What country now has made it illegal to do this? Is it a Scandinavian? No, it was Portugal, wasn't it? Made it illegal for your boss to contact you outside of your contracted hours. Really? Yeah, they can't ask anything of you.

You're absolutely not obligated to answer any work email or phone call. Yeah, it is Portugal. Good for them. It banned employees from contacting employees outside of work hours. I feel like coming from a contracting... Mate, if there's any word from around the world on how I can be doing less work, I'm all over it. You can trust me on very little,

but if there's a country out there telling people how to have less work to do, send me considering moving to Portugal. Or France. You could move to France. They do it too. In 2017, France also gave workers the right to ignore all after-hour emails from bosses. Now, both are big fans of red wine. Great for me.

But now it's croissants versus paella. So I've got a big decision to make on where I'm going to move to. Portugal has great beaches and also they decriminalise all drugs. Not that I'm big on drugs, but I just like the thought of Yeah. You can if you want.

I'm a chronic email checker. I think it comes from being a freelancer. You're constantly being like Maybe there's the next big thing in my inbox So you're constantly refreshing And I still do I'll like log into work in the afternoon at home But when I deleted emails off my phone

Was the best thing Absolutely Turning off notifications and deleting emails It's so good because you just don't get the constant Alerts I've turned off notifications that I emails. It's so good because you just don't get the constant alerts. I've turned off notifications that I've got a DM

on Instagram. Oh yeah. Try this. Oh God, you're the same. It's so good. You just forget you've got it.

Yeah, I have for years. And you don't have the little red bubble saying three things to deal with in here. It's gone. And then every now

and then you'll be like, oh, let's go give it a little check. Yeah. Oh, hello. Delete all.

I reply. I reply. I reply. I don't. I take the time. I'm sorry. Dearest, dearest, Catherine, thank you so much for your correspondence. Thank you so much for your critique.

I do apologise for the delay in my reply, but I'm trying to live a less ball and chain lifestyle to my family. I'm in Portugal. I've just been in the beach. I'm in Portugal. I'm drunk on wine. I don't know if you heard me debating croissants versus paella But I tell you what

Paella and Portuguese Portuguese? Portugal, Portuguese Yes Tapas Won me over on the day So I went to Melbourne this weekend To do some filming.

And it was good. Going over was good. I was really excited. And then I had to do so much paperwork to get into Australia and then back into New Zealand. And I didn't even check it. Really? I had it all printed at any point.

I was like, anyone want to look at this? But did you submit it online? Yes. Okay, so then it's automatically attached to your ticket. They can see a little. I guess so. Did they check your pre-departure rat? Submit it online.

Oh, like to come back into New Zealand? Yep. Yes, I had to do it on a Zoom with a woman. It was really weird. I went back to my hotel room and she's like, hi there, okay, so open up your package and then blah, blah, blah. All right, now. Oh, you do it quite well.

She was like commenting on my technique of going back, not up. Oh, Kiwis, we were doing it so much to get into work and stuff. We're not afraid of a deep rat. And so you did that and you got back. Got back in fine. Yeah, right. Covered neck. Because they end tonight at midnight,

pre-departure test to get back into New Zealand. So your first time in a long time going overseas. A long time. So going over was fine. Like there were no lines and because I'm Patsy Sprouse's daughter I was there like

three and a half hours early. I like to get there early too. Yes, I know. And also because When we're on the same flight in a couple of weeks we'll go straight from work. Straight from work

and our flight's at like 2pm. But anyway, so I got there, it was fine. I hit the lounge. Yep. Had a couple of, oh yeah fine i hit hit the lounge yeah had a couple of oh yeah i was messaging you i had a couple of bubbles started with orange juice in it and then i was like screw this and just yeah we have one mimosa as a warm-up airports don't count you can drink booze at any time of the day yeah but to be fair on the way home i was in the airport lounge in

melbourne at like 10 45 and i was I'm going to have a whiskey and dry. Because it doesn't count in airports. And I was like, why not? And plus you've got this membership, might as well make the most of it. And then I poured it and the guy was like, oh god, getting on early? Yeah, I think work might cancel that membership if you keep that up. I was asked to leave it some

a little bit later. But anyway, so going over was fine, but coming back was just a nightmare. One, I think they've made the leg room less. Have they? Since we've been away. They're squeezing up the seats

to get another roll in, do you reckon? Yeah, absolutely. And then I went window because I like to lean. I like to have a little lean sleep. Not good though with a bladder like mine.

You're a weir. And then the woman next to me was having an absolute mirror of a day obviously the whole time and then she fell asleep with like sunglasses on

and a mask and then she reclined her chair which you do not do between Australia and New Zealand no unacceptable

reclined her chair and so when the meals came around to be oh she wore a big coat as a blanket and it was like all over me and I kept shoving it over her side and then when the meals came around to be, oh, she wore a big coat as a blanket and it was like all over me and I kept shoving it over her side.

And then when the meals came around, the guy behind was like, well, I can't put my tray table down because she's reclined. So then the poor flight attendant had to go, excuse me, ma'am. And she just went, what? What's happening? She was absolutely having a nightmare. And then our whole flight was delayed an hour and a half. And there was, I'd say 80% of the flight was connecting to somewhere else. Yeah.

So heaps of them missed their flights going to like Napier and Queenstown and the likes. Yeah. Or they said to us, they got on the thing and the guy was really stressed. He was like, if you're not connecting, if Auckland is your final destination, when we land and the seatbelt sign goes off,

please just remain seated and let those from the back of the plane who are connecting flights just to get off. The moment it goes bing, everyone's like stood up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not getting stuck behind someone transiting into Christchurch.

Yeah. And then there was this moment where he jumped on the thing and he was literally almost in tears. He was like, please, please, please. If you're not... Oh my God. He was like begging.

His voice broke at one point. And I was like, jeez. Take control of it. You can't be a cowering wimp in these situations. No, yeah. Bing bong, sit down. I know. I will check every single one of you where you're going.

Sit down. I'm hearing so many of these stories. It sounds like people are rushing and getting really excited to travel again, but it's not like it used to be. No, pushing in. Like, everyone's being rude. It was really, it was interesting. It reminded me of the worst bits of travel,

which is anything that happens within an airport. Yeah. Bad behaviour from everyone. And the masks, man. The amount of Kiwis on that plane with masks hanging under the nose. But what about in Australia? Was it all people? It's like the pandemic's over, right?

Yeah, it is over to them. But how many are they still getting a day? They're still getting pretty astronomical numbers a day, aren't they? I don't think they're really counting. I don't think they're really paying much attention to it. Because did you wear your mask around Melbourne? Yeah, and then I got off and I went to like a phone desk to get a SIM card for my time there.

And he goes, you don't have to wear that. And I was like, no, I know. I just got off a flight from New Zealand. Yeah, yeah, we don't wear them here. I was like, oh, I'm just going to wear it anyway. And he went, oh, just so you know, you don't have to. And then everywhere I went, I went shopping. Thanks to the medical advice, dude selling SIM cards.

Phew, ah, I've also got this lump I was wondering if you could take a look at given that you are a medical professional. Anyway, God, travel is so beautiful and we're so lucky to be able to do it. Pack your patience. Pack your patience. It brings out the worst in everyone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley.

Joe Biden was riding a bike at the weekend. Weird to see the President of the U.S. riding a bike. Yeah. I don't know if you ever saw Barack Obama riding a bike. I saw him go for a jog. He used to play basketball a lot. He had a basketball hoop. Yeah. I don't know if you ever saw Barack Obama riding a bike. I saw him go for a jog. Always he, he used to play basketball a lot. Yeah. He had a basketball hoop.

Yeah. And Trump had his golf. But Biden was on a bike. 79 years old. And he fell off the bike. Yeah. Running the free world. He stopped

and he, his foot got caught. You know, it had those plastic like foot covers that your feet slip into, like straps. Oh, like a proper bike. He couldn't get his foot out. He couldn't get his foot out.

He couldn't get his foot out and then over he went. Well, it wasn't a penny farthing, really. I wasn't sure. He was in the garden riding a penny farthing. But all the news media and crowds of people had come to see the president. And it was in front of a crowd. He was absolutely fine, though, eh? Yeah, he got up.

Yeah, he bounced back. That's pretty good. Wow. For a gentleman of his age. I mean, it's going to be 80 in November. What's he up to? Where is he at? What do you mean?

Like, is he doing anything good? Well, his popularity is, I think, lower than Trump's was. Oh, no. So not well, Hayley. Not well. Okay, good, good, good. Curse position. Fall on a bike

I I Hadn't ridden a bike Since I was a kid Yeah And then when we moved To Auckland And I was

Working for John and Ben Actually I was like I'm gonna get a bike And drive to work The first day I came off it And then landed on the street Biking's one of those things If you haven't done it

Since you were a kid It's scary You do it all the time You're biking around You just Don't have to think about everything. Yeah. And then the old saying, it's like learning to ride a bike, but it's not remembering which one's the front brake on a bike

on a wet road and hitting the white mark and braking too heavily on the front and that going out for a minute and smashing your face on the ground, is it? Yeah. But in front of a crowd, I wondered this morning if we could take some calls of those times when you've had a whoopsie in front of a large crowd, like tripping over, falling over. Does like 7,000 people count? Yes, absolutely.

It was my first ever trip with my marching team overseas. And we were in Norway and we got to the arena where we're performing. And they made us like usually on a marching boot, you've got like heel and toe plates for grip. They're almost like a little horseshoe. And then we took them off and it was polished concrete and so our boots were like skidding. And so we were marching along and everyone was skidding. One girl fell down and broke her arm,

so we had to fly someone in from overseas. And then that was during a rehearsal. And then during a performance, I absolutely hit the deck. Why didn't you put your clippy-cloppies back on? We didn't. We didn't. Because you weren't allowed to. They didn't want us marking the marble.

So then we got, like, sandpaper. It's probably a lot worse. You were telling me that 7,000 people came to watch marching. That's nothing. I've marched in front of 42,000 people before in Melbourne. That's like a rugby game. Was it before an AFL match? Screw you.

Was it though? No, it was the Edinburgh Military Tattooed Travel. Oh, yeah. My grandparents used to go to that. Called the biggest show on earth. They go for the bagpipes. Yeah, right. They go for the bagpipes.

42,000 people. I didn't fall in front of 42,000. Right. But I did fall in front of 7,000 in Norway. 7,000. So this is what we wanted to ask this morning. 0800 dials at M. You can give us a call.

Text as well, 9696. When did you have a whoopsie in front of a crowd? And I mean, it could have been a crowd of 10. That's still embarrassing enough. Absolutely. Or it could have been a crowd of 7,000 or more. Going up to get an award. Oh, you say that all the time at graduations

and people try to do something kind of cool and funky afterwards. All right. Oh, 800-DARLS-IT-AM-9696. When did you have a whoopsie in front of a crowd of people? Well, President Joe Biden has taken a tumble on his bike.

He's had a fall. Had a fall. He's fine. He's got up. It was in front of a crowd of people, though, reporters. So it's all on camera. But also locals

who knew that he was nearby gathered round and he saw them and went over and stopped. But his foot got stuck in the foot pedal. So was he in full clip-clops? No, not in clip-clops. You know how they have the cases, the cage?

So on the up pedal you can get a bit of You don't clip in there, no. It wasn't one of those. So we want to know when you've taken a whoopsie, you had a whoopsie in front of a crowd. Yes. Because it makes it worse when it's in front of people.

It's more embarrassing. Does it? Because you know when you trip over and you're on your own and you sort of have to make something of it but you can't turn it into an entertaining moment? And then you're sort of looking... You know when you sort of trip up on the street on your own? Yeah.

Can't do anything. I always do that when I get new shoes because you're not used to the clearance rate, the difference of the soles. Yeah. And you've got those big chunky orthopaedics and you've got uneven legs. I don't.

I can see why that's a problem. What are you laughing at? I totally forgot about his club shoe. I don't. His little little club shoe. I totally forgot about his club shoe. I don't. His little little club shoe. I don't have a club shoe. Don't be embarrassed about it. It's totally fine.

I think they've done a wonderful job. You can barely tell. That one's much thicker than the other. My nan face planted outside Briscoe slash Rebel Sport at the base in Hamilton. If you've been there, it's always busy. Every single day, every single time. Apparently, she said the ground run is uneven. It was the week before my wedding,

so stunning photos with Black Eyed Nan. What a badass. Black Eyed Nan is actually what the Retirement Village is calling their Black Eyed Peas cover band. Yes, Black Eyed Nan. And they actually sing Cotton Eye Joe, but they sing Black Eyed Nan. Will, what was your tumble in front of a crowd?

Hey, guys. I'm a scout leader, and I went away on a camp, and I was going down this small little bank in front of everyone on a gravel road on my motorbike. Yep. And the front of my motorbike gave out, and I slid down the hill in front of everyone. Oh, no.

And they all just laughed, a bunch of, like, 13-year-old kids, and they just loved it. I'd like to see them on a motorbike down a gravel road, you know? Mate, I think about it every day. It's a lot of shame. Everybody's got that thing rattling around in their brain that happened, you know, ages ago. I'm such a loser.

Yeah, they wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning thinking about, I wonder if those kids still think about me and that's the only time I've hacked it on the bike. Well, thanks for sharing. Eric, what was your whoopsie in front of a crowd? Well, back in the day, old Simon Barnett used to host a show called Face the Music. Yes, I used to love that.

Oh yeah, I love that show. Yeah, and the stage for it was made like a giant bouncy castle with a big metal plate across the top of it. Yeah. And I wasn't lucky enough to have won the show, but I was stepping forward to congratulate the person who won, and Simon Barnett took a step backwards

and, of course, forced me to the bouncy castle side, and I was flying off the stage into the audience live on national TV. Oh, my God. Simon Barnett basically pushed you off the lovely WWE gym. The lovely Simon Barnett. Wow. Exactly. And I don't even think

he knew what happened. You just disappeared. But of course the whole studio audience was just loving it. Oh, exactly. And what made it worse is I was still at home

at the time. So imagine what it was like when I went back to school the next day. Is there footage of this? Do you have footage of it? I did have, but it was on the old VHS and that didn't last.

So I think somebody accidentally taped over the top of it, to be honest. Taped over it. A little bit of Sky One. A bit of Sky One late night programming. Sky One at midnight. Thank you. Eric, Corinda, what was your whoopsie in front of a crowd? Ages ago, I was

working for the Cancer Society, and my sister and I, as part of the summer pool, would go around to schools and do like a little skit with undercover Cody. I don't know if you guys know the big turtle, Sunsmart turtle. Anyway. Wait, so we don't have turtles.

We should have gone for a more New Zealand creature. This was an undercover turtle. What was he, an undercover policeman? No, so it's like undercover Cody is like This was an undercover turtle. What was he, an undercover policeman? No, so it's like, undercover Cody is like this, um,

Sunsmart turtle. Sunsmart turtle. He just called himself Cody. The fact that he's calling himself undercover Cody automatically makes me question his cover. Yeah,

like, it would have been better being a teenage mutant ninja. Yeah. Um, but we were doing one of our shows in front of this huge hall

of like, all these school kids and part of the show is I have to like of this huge hall of, like, all these school kids. And part of the show is I have to, like, go up and, like, scare my sister. And that's how we sort of start it. And she's like, no, look, Corinda, these steps in the stage, they're kind of, like, the same color. So just watch the step.

And the visibility. Oh, God, you were warned. And, like, the turtle suit wasn't, like, too good. So I was like, yeah, God, it's fine. I can see them. I didn't see them. Wait, you're in the turtle scene the turtle's not even a tournament it's corinda in the turtle suit i'm so confused at the depths of the hell undercover this turtle is you took a full cover as a turtle that would have

been yes and so then i missed the steps and completely face planted but then i couldn't like get up because i had to hold the head off the turtle because it would come off and all the kids would see me. And my sister was like, where is she supposed to be scaring me? And then she finally realised and turned around and was like,

oh, thanks for Cody. And then I had to come help me up. I was literally... Well, you're a turtle if you're on the vacuum. No wonder kids aren't sunscreening. Yeah, exactly. When they realise all these lies. When Corinda, the undercover turtle,

took a fall. Undercover Corinda is undercover Cody. Meredith, exactly. When they realise all these lies. When Corinda, the undercover turtle, took a fall. Undercover Corinda is undercover Cody. Meredith, when did you take a whoopsie in front of everybody? Well, I had to start this by saying that I struggle to stay upright in normal life. I'm known for falling over constantly. Okay. So this was no surprise to my family or friends. But when we got our daughter baptised, you go the week before and you kind of introduce to the church community and you kind of walk up on stage and on the altar.

You hold them up like the monkey does, the cimbrus. The lion king. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I was walking up and tripped on the stairs and dropped her and fell over myself. Where was your God? Where was your God, Meredith? Where was your God?

And the collective gasp that rang through the congregation was something else. A gasp? You dropped your baby. We recovered. Thankfully, she was not like a tiny baby. We were terrible Catholics and didn't get her. Did it a bit late. Lived in sin for a while.

Yeah. 15 months old. Most people do it just to get into a good high school. Yeah. Well, she was pretty shitty by that stage. So, like, no bad. Oh, amazing. Merida, thank you for sharing some more messages in.

I fainted on stage at age seven in front of an entire assembly and someone literally yelled out get her off the stage. And that's how my fear of social speaking started. Oh, kids are so mean. Get her off the stage. I went down a hydra slide in an Australian theme park.

There was heaps of people waiting because it was a very popular hydra slide and as I got to the bottom I spun around and started going backwards so I started screaming saying help help I'm coming out backwards and when I hit the water I went upside down bang

and then stood up and I was like oh and everyone was looking at me and I was like oh no bikini time yes too funny help I'm coming out backwards No bikini top. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. Too funny. I'm going out backwards. Splash.

Boobies. I fainted at a funeral while carrying the casket. I fell onto the casket, adding additional weight to the casket, causing everybody else to drop their part of the casket. But it was shut with screws, so Grandad didn't come tumbling out. He came bouncing out. He didn't come. Was Grandad wearing his bikini top or did that come off as well?

Grandad's like, I'm coming off backwards. All right. Play it. CDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a character I did not know this, but considered the original gay icon. Oh, okay.

Olive oil. No, you took it from Popeye. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought she was. She's got a bit of lesbian energy. Oh, she's got a bit of lesbian energy. Yeah. Yeah, she does.

No, this is about Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. Oh, okay. I don't know. Did you consider it a gay icon? Because she's a fairy? That's the only terrible connotation I could make? No, no, I think it was just like, not at the time,

but like looking back being like, yas, queen, sass, you don't take it from Peter because you know how she's like pining for Peter's attention but at the same time playing hardball with him?

Right. And like sassing about. Right. Tinkerbell. The original play of Peter Pan had Tinkerbell but no mention

of fairy dust. Oh yeah. Fletch will need this explained because he didn't have a childhood. He was a robot. He was born a man. He was born in a factory. So Peter Pan, the story of the boy from Neverland, when he comes and meets the children,

they get sprinkled with fairy dust and then they can fly with it. It makes his nose grow. Pinocchio. No, that's Pinocchio. That's when he tells a lie. Okay. Mind you, Pinocchio could probably hurt with some fairy dust with that big old schnoz up here.

Holy moly. And then deny doing it, it would grow really long. Then he gets 12 months. No, there was no fairy dust to be sprinkled with fairy dust. It was just that the children wished they could fly. They wanted to fly and then they could fly. And they had to add fairy dust in because kids

were just leaping off bunks and off bookcases and off high places they found in their house being like, I wish I could fly. Jump.

Death. Boom. Stupid kids. Stupid kids. Winded. Injured. Broken limbs. Yeah.

And needing surgical attention. So they re, so Jay and Barry rewrote it with the fairy dust, meaning that you need something. Yeah. It's good to see. I remember when this was the Ninja Turtles when I was a kid. Yeah.

People were like, oh, kids, or Power Rangers. This bloody Power Ranger jumped out a window. Now my kid's jumped out a window. Well, you've got a dumbass kid, don't you? Gosh. You need to say to your kids when they're watching Power Rangers, that's not real. Don't jump out a window because the Power Rangers got powers

and you don't. You're just a boring, ordinary child. You are lame. Who has to study hard. Where does the gay icon come into this? No, I just said, I was reading about Tinkerbell and how she didn't originally have fairy dust. And there's all these facts about Tinkerbell, like when they were first in the play and there's all these facts about Tinkerbell like when they were

first in the play they stood off stage with a mirror and shone a light into the mirror and like you know you do this with your cat

oh yeah occasionally you'll use your watch to like get a light reflection and shoot it around the wall or shoot someone in the eye with it and they're like

that's how they originally did Tinkerbell there was no actual on stage no oh right and then apparently when they were touring with the play they listed as That's how they originally did Tinkerbell. There was no actual on stage. Oh, right. And then apparently when they were touring with the play,

they listed as Jenny played. Jenny Wren played Tinkerbell. And so the tax people were like, well, she's got to be taxed. And they said, oh, there's actually no, it's just a joke. And they're like, well, tax is no joke. No, it's not. I'm looking at 16 Disney characters you didn't know were gay. Tinkerbell's on the list. Okay.

Ursula, Little Mermaid. Do the United Arab Emirates know this? Scar from The Lion King. Don't ask, don't tell. Scar always had that energy hanging around with predominantly male hyenas. Timon and Pumbaa. They were? Together.

You learn so much. You learn so much. Also, I don't know if that's a Disney sanctioned list. Not on the website. It's on gaystarnews.com. Where I go to for all my news, gay or otherwise. So today's fact of the day is there was originally no fairy dust with Tinkerbell, but kids were jumping off their beds and really badly hurting themselves,

so they needed to add to them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Had an idea and I think it's perfect. It's Monday. We're sort of in the middle of the year in the thick of it. In a bit of a slug of life.

In a bit of a funk. It's getting colder. Things are getting more expensive. Everything sucks. So we thought we want to start your week off well. We want to brighten it up with some complimentary compliments. Complimentary compliments.

Wow. It's like a kid's show. I feel like it's like Thomas the Tank Engine. Complimentary in the fact that they don't cost you anything. They don't cost you anything. And they're compliments because there's something nice being said about this person who we don't know. We don't know, but I think. But you've had this idea.

So, for example, let's welcome Ange to the show. Good morning, Ange. Hi. Oh, Ange. Oh, Ange. Oh, my God. The voice that they have called vocal sunshine. I believe the Rolling Stones wrote a song after you, and I see why now.

Yeah. And yeah. Years before she was born, they knew what was on the horizon for the name. Now, Ange, tell us a little bit about yourself. What are you doing this week? Got a big week ahead? No, I'm just mum-like, really.

Mum! Oh, my God. What do you mean you don't have a big week ahead? Every week's a massive week in the life of a mum. How many kids do you have? I've got two, and I'm hoping he doesn't cry in the car. He hates the car. Oh.

You know why he hates transmissions? Yeah, right. I was going to say transmissions, but he's a big fan of automatic, manual, whatever kind of car, but doesn't like the transmissions. Ange, I bet he won't cry because to me, and I can hear it, I've got very high senses for this kind of thing. I think you're a

phenomenal mother. I know nothing about you, but I can tell. Ange? I think you're doing a great job. Mother of the year. You'll say that to the next person. No, I won't at all. I know nothing about you, but I can tell. I think you're doing a great job. Mother of the year. You'll say that to the next person. No, I won't at all. I won't, Ange. These are specific to you. Ange is coming with a bit of cynicism.

No. Take your complimentary compliments. No, but I like that about Ange. I've always liked that about Ange, too. She won't be taken for a fool. She's got street smarts. She's taken for the drongo. Can you, Ange,

if you're not driving, can you take a little look in the rear view mirror? What do you see, Ange? What do you see? Is it the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life? Yeah, very beautiful.

Oh, yes. That's what I'm hearing. Okay, is that enough compliments for you today, Ange? You were pretty light on the compliments there, Fletch. I don't know how to give compliments. You were pretty light on the compliments. Give Anletch. I don't know how to give compliments.

Give Ange a compliment. You're really good at driving. There you go, Ange. Well, we don't know that. Well, you haven't crashed while we've been talking to you, Ange. That's the only one she took. Out of all those compliments, she's like, yeah, no, I don't know about that. You'll just say that in excuses.

And Fletch is like, you're good at driving. She's like, thank you very much. Oh, thank you very much, yes, I am. That's fantastic. That's for Ange, the driver. Thank you very much, Ange. Oh, I love Dan. Crystal, good morning.

Morning. Oh, my God. Crystal. A name that I would say equates to not only a beautiful, precious gem, but this beautiful, precious caller. I know. Crystal, how are you today? I'm good, thanks.

How are you guys? Welcome to Complimentary. All the better having talked to you, Crystal. Welcome to Complimentary Compliments. You got a big week coming up? You're just saying all the work in the kids. Work in the kids? And Carver's mother.

Yeah, you're such a hard worker, Crystal. Beautiful compliment. What do you do for work, Crystal? I work at the TV bank and the clothes shop. Do you know what? She's helping people with the thing that we need to survive, money.

Helping us shuffle around. Time to have the stress out of it. She's a hero. I'm going to say it.

She's a hero. Yeah, I like what she's doing. Now, I can't call you Mother of the Year because that was Ange.

But probably the runner-up Mother of the I'm going to say you're the runner-up. Second place, I'll take it.

Yeah. Second place. Here we go. Great place, yeah. What kind of look are you rocking today? What's the fit? Black on black. Oh, yes.

So sleek. Modern. Timeless. Yes. Timeless and modern. You know, Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue, never wears black on black, and that's because she doesn't know fashion

or the bitter in the bum. Brilliant. Thank you, Crystal. This angel wears Prada and her name is Crystal. There you go. Crystal, thank you for calling

for complimentary compliments this morning. Did you give her one, Fletch? I thought you skipped over. No, I did. I did. I did give her one. Kelly, good morning.

Hi. Oh, there she is. You're always so bright and positive, Kelly, I did give you one. Kelly, good morning. Hi. Oh, there she is. You're always so bright and positive, Kelly, when you answer the phone. Kelly. Hi. I'm on my way to give blood, so.

Oh, my God. You saved lives. You're a lifesaver, Kelly. We're on our feet, Kelly. We're on our feet. Do we even need to say anything? You already know you're a saint. You already know you're a life giver and a life saver.

What blood type are you? I'm A positive. They really needed it. They really need it. Much like the grades. Much like school grades, A plus is the best you can get. Kelly, you've got the best blood. Kelly has, honestly, the sexiest blood.

Delicious blood. That is, like, so gorgeous. Tell my husband that. Tell your husband that? He already knows. I've got the sexiest blood, you know. Yeah. He already knows. He knows.

And I tell you what, he should be saying it more often. He should be. God, he's lucky to have a wife like you, Kelly. He should get home from wherever he's been, work or whatever, and say, here she is, my wife with the sexy blood. Do you know what, Kelly? After you give blood today, I want you to shout yourself to an extra chalky bicky.

Yeah. I'll ring her head. I'll ring her head. Yeah, we'll ring her head and we'll get it put aside for you. Make sure there's a bicky. Three bickies and the cheese and crackers.

You just go for it. I think we've done enough complimentary. Well, I was just thinking you were a little light there on. I just said she's got the best blood. No, that was when Hayley

and I established she had sexy blood. You've got to come up with your own. Come on. to say she's got the best blood. No, that was when Hayley and I established she had sexy blood. You've got to come up with your own. Come on. Fletch, a compliment, please, for Kelly. Yeah, you give the blood and then you don't take too many biscuits. That's so nice. They're just rejigging what we said.

You've got to reword. Don't shift F7 thesaurus this. I won't eat biscuits because I'm vegan. Oh, compliment your vegan-ness. Congratulations on saving the planet. Yeah. You're making up for people like Vaughn who devour meat hourly. Yeah, that's another compliment I'd like to give you.

Thanks for leaving some for me. Come on. Yeah, you're welcome. Have I died and gone to heaven because I'm talking to an angel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Kelly, thank you for participating in Complimentary.

And those are complimentary. Compliments this morning, yes. Much like the biscuits. Yeah. Do you think that went well? I loved it. I loved it. I loved it.

I felt good. I'm going to call up one day. Fletch, give her a compliment right now. Quick. I think you're one of the hardest working people in this industry. Thank you. And you never complain about it.

It's beautiful. She has only been here a few months. She'll be whinging like you will be soon. Complimentary compliments. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Okay, this is so full on. Now, you've got two kids, Vaughn, and safe to say you're done. I do.

Yes, ma'am. Although he hasn't had his vassie, though, has he? Because he's scared. Get a snippity-dippity. Pardon me? No, I haven't had it. Get a snippity-dippity. Yep.

Yeah, for sure. Yep. He doesn't want to do it. Yep. Cool. You've been putting it off, haven't you? Have you wanted to do it? Yep.

Nope. Yep. Oh, do you know my friend got a Vassie in a very bougie place? They served whiskey and played jazz. Now we go. Now we're there. And then afterwards he was utterly cooked on whiskey and painkillers. He sent me a message being like, got the schnitzel.

I was like, it looks like a beautiful experience. I'll find the, I'll find the. Yes, please. Sounds like a barber's. You know how barbers are all like doing the bougie. They give you a, what is it? Shave? Shave.

Cutthroat shave. Cutthroat shave. A glass of whiskey. That would be good. A glass of whiskey, a bit of jazz. And a Vassie. And then can I have some propofol? Sure. Because you know how much I liked that when I had it for my colonoscopy. You're really missing a trick if we organise it through the radio station

and make it an on-air thing. No, absolutely not. There are some things that don't need to be dragged up. You know, enjoy something away from the radio. I'm getting a colonoscopy in a couple of weeks and we're going to live stream it on the ZM. We're going to live stream the actual camera going up. Not just in the theatre room.

We're going to have a live mixer there and they're going to be like talking to the doctor and then change to the camera that's going up. The nation's invested in my bowels. Anyway, are we talking about this? Oh, snips, snips, snips, snips. You've got two. We've got none collectively, Fletch. The world's The nation's invested in my bowels Anyway are we talking about this? Oh Snips Snips Snips

Snips You've got two We've got none Collectively Fletch Although last week When Vaughan surprised His daughter

August with a cat You did get a few I had an ovary tingle You had a tingle In your ovaries I had a little like Oh But then your niece

Just got kids messenger And won't leave you alone And you said That absolutely dulled it I was like oh Kids can message these days. Great, cool. But anyway,

so apparently there's a number, the perfect number of kids to have. I would have thought it was two. I'm one of two and it's fantastic.

It's four. No, that's too many. That's van territory. That's getting a minivan. And do you know what? This doesn't come from any kind of like

outside thing. This comes from mums. With four kids, they're the happiest. 7,000 mums took part in this survey. Oh, wow. And they shared all sorts of experiences of having one child, two children, three children, four children and above. And they found that having four was the perfect number. When you have four children, four or more, sorry,

four or more leads to being less stress. Is that because you're basically farming out the looking after of older children? To the older kids? Yeah, so apparently the larger your family gets, that by the time that it crosses past the two or three kid mark, you head to four, you have no time to worry anymore. You have no time to kind of like worry about the little things, split hairs.

Am I doing this right? You kind of just throw caution to the wind and go, oh, well, I haven't killed them yet. Yeah, true. I'm going to keep going. You find yourself going with the flow more and embracing the chaos. So they do say it is chaos.

Oh, that sounds horrible. The more children you have, the more confident you become in your parenting abilities. You let go of some of your concerns and stuff. Nah, that just means your kids are annoying everybody else more because you're not annoyed by them. So if you're annoyed by your kids, you're like, hey, stop that.

But if you're not annoyed by them and they're still being annoying, that means they're annoying other people. Yeah. Well, the person that wrote this article was like, I've got one question. Finances. Yeah, because you say there's no worries, but your worries would be four or more mouths to feed,

surely, especially in this day and age. Somebody said, I have four kids aged between one and eight years old and I'm definitely less stressed now that I have four than I was when I had two because when I had four, the doctor said, oh, yeah, you need these and prescribed me some calm me down pills. Yeah, beautiful. So at two kids, he wasn't taking

a request seriously. At four, have all the pills you want. A Pam or a Pram. Delicious. Great way to start the day.