ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th March 2023

Episode Date: March 19, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee made just the way you like it. I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back from Marching Nationals. You'll hear a bit of this on the show today, won't you? Yep, results and the likes. Hear the placing.

But one thing, so marching after parties right after nationals has always been a bit weird I know I've shared with you guys in the past we did a booty where you would drink from the boot

Oh yeah Like a shooey Like a shooey but it's a booty Yuck But one thing so there were like later in the night

we were pretty far ahead in the evening some partners joined Oh yeah And you've got to think you've got to wonder what they must think of these marching girls who are all feral, like haven't showered, trained all morning, in uniform all day, marched all day in these boots with socks and tights. Then we decided quite late in the night to see whose natural foot odor was the least

offensive. And we sort of sniffed everyone's toes, like right in the toes to have a good sniff of the of the raw foot and see who uh how we ranked yeah i got a 2.5 out of five out of five it's the least offensive yeah so i was a middling i was a middlingdling. Were you the best? No, I wasn't the best. Someone's foot smelt quite like flowers and perfume. I felt like they'd had a cheaty shower. Yeah. Or they cheated that oil in a refreshing white.

Yeah. That would be who you did the shooey out of. That was their boot. It was their boot. It was their boot that we opted for the shooey. So that's why you did the smell test. Yeah, and Natalie lost at a four. My friend Natalie.

Natalie. Yeah, Natalie got a four. She got a four. That's why you call her Pongy Manky Natalie. Yeah, and Natalie lost at a four. My friend Natalie. Natalie. That's why you call her Pongy Manky Natalie. Yeah, Manky Nat. Stanky Natty. So we had a good sniff of Nat's foot for a bit. I know, it was rad. That's feral. It's so feral. Especially because you're all grown women.

It's not like you're teenagers. I'm one of the youngest and I'm 33. There's a woman in their 30s and 40s just having an absolute sniff test of the foot. That is absolutely mang. We tried to get some of our guests involved and they wouldn't because they're better than us. Yeah, I can see why. Where do you reckon you'd rank on the raw foot smell? After a long day.

I think I'm pretty good. I spent the weekend doing a lot of manual labour and a heavy work bit in a thick sock. And at the end of the day the whole and the shirt everything really stunk I think you'd have the mankiest feet just purely because you do a lot of work

it's a compliment it's a compliment yeah very unlike this one who just gets home after working for three hours in the morning and pops his feet up

pops his feet up gets a pedi weekly pedi and also I'm just Birkenstocks at the moment so I'm getting a lot of air a lot of air on the foot yeah they're not smelly are they

They're not a smelly shoe They could be I think If they got wet Yeah if you did a lot of sweating in them Sort of one of those stinks that sort of develops over time Well you see the Birks that have been well worn They're quite dark There's a lot of dirt

A black soul You know Georgia Birks got the darkest Birkenstocks Mine's not light Quite dark. Yeah. Like, there's a lot of dirt. Like, black. Yeah. A black soul. You know, Georgia Bird's got the darkest birks. Mine's not light. She's not wearing her birks today, but she's got a... Oh, yours is pretty... Mine's not light. Yours is pretty dark. They're quite old, mine.

I've done some Ks. Oh, yours are pretty dark, too. No, mine smell a bit like... Yeah, they just smell like... Pork and leather. Pork and leather, yeah. Pork. Pork.

Yeah, they smell like pork. Pork. Is that what you said? Yeah, they smell like pork and leather. Pork and leather, yeah. Pork. Pork. Yeah, they smell like pork. Pork. Is that what you said? Yeah, they smell like pork. Pork. Pork. Because they're made out of cork, aren't they? Yeah.

I thought you said pork and leather. Bacon and leather. Yum. I think that's Akoya's next candle is pork and leather. Yum. A pork and leather candle. Thank you, Sam. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Relax, everyone. I'm back. Must have been a hard tail end of the week. Thank God. Was it lad heavy? I didn't listen.

A lot of lads. Lad chat. Yeah. Did you guys beat each other up? Can you just open your headphone bag? It's knotted. And I've just got to undo it. Just cut it with the scissors. Yeah.

That bag needs to get in the trash. It's held together with staples. It does the job. It holds my headphones. Wow, you really do talk quieter when you don't have the headphones on, do you? I know. He's a bloody mess. I'm a...

He's an absolute mess. I'm a public radio broadcaster. I just relax. Wow. Oh, there we go. Conversationally. Oh, we're out. There we go.

He's in business. They're out. They're out. Now I put them on. And what a start to the week. Do you remember like five minutes ago, I was like, get your headphones ready? Because this is what happens every morning. I'm ready.

I was ready. Here he is. Ah. Here he is. Good. Now, you're back from the Marching Nationals. I am. And how did we do?

Second place. Happy with that. No, she's not lost. You're not. You're not, are you? Is this the first time you've lost? It's the first time I've lost in the senior grade. But I say lost as in not won.

Because second place, very covetous. Yeah, but it's first loser, isn't it? Out of all the losers, I was the best. Yeah, you're the best out of the losers. Yeah. Best loser. Humbling. It's good to eat a slice of humble pie every now and then.

Yeah. I can't be incredible at literally everything all the time. I just can't be. Does this mean you've got your weekends back now? Yes. Oh, fantastic. Dude, I have nothing to do on Saturday and Sunday. I've got a BYO on Saturday.

Do you want to come to a BYO? You can come to a BYO now. I would love to come to a BYO. Have you ever stopped going to a BYO before? No, no. I predominantly march either still drunk or quite hungover. Yeah. And the BYO is at the end of the day after the march.

May I explain the second place? Yeah, I can't walk in a straight line most of the time. Coming up on the show today, next flight. Thanks to Grab a Seat. This is so exciting. In studio, we've got some actual airline seats. We've got basically half a plane in the studio. We've got half a plane in the studio.

So we've got our winners coming in. Our first winners after 8 o'clock this morning. And they're going to find out where they're going to. We've got six of these flights to give away. What would you put in your bag if you knew you were going to go somewhere really cool from around the world, but you didn't know if it was going to be a hot temperature, a cold temperature, if you're going to be like beachy or city? I reckon I'd go mostly summer, but then I'd have maybe like a sweatshirt and maybe a little puffer.

Huffer puffer. Because the huffer puffers can grow up to nothing. A light thin puffer. A light thin puffer. Yeah, petite puff. Otherwise you'd get something there if it's too cold. Yeah. Just trying to think about destinations.

There might be one or two, one, I think one cold place. Otherwise, pretty warm. Otherwise, pretty warm. Pretty warm. Antarctica. They don't fly to Antarctica. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Are we sending someone to Antarctica today? Well, 8 o'clock, you can find out. We've got the top six on the way.

Yeah, Auckland Mayor wants to save $145 million. Well, that's the bill annually for roadworks. Cones. Yeah, cones and superv bill annually for like roadworks. Just the like cones. Yeah, yeah, cones and supervising and stuff. Pretty keen to make that a smaller bill. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Yeah. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. So you've got the top six ways to save money on roadworks. Next on the show though, gym bras. Yeah, boy, we're listening, we're listening. We're up, we're at the gym already. Yeah, you're ready to go.

You probably popped a little pre-workout. I see people go to the gym when we get to work. Yeah. Like the gym over there opens. What time does that open? Five. Quarter to six, five. Well, yes, most people have got these jobs, you see,

and these jobs run from about 8.39 till five in the afternoon. What do they do with all that time in the morning? Well, they go to the gym. Wild. You see. But then they work all day and at the end of these long hours, they don't feel like doing anything,

so I think they get it out of the way in the morning. I think I'd get it out of the way in the morning. You've had a normal life, yeah. Yeah, it's a wild premise. Working a whole day. But you need that proats after the gym, after you work out. There's a new proats snack.

Is it crickets and bugs and gross things? It's way worse. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Gym bras, apparently, according to online, are turning to dog food for protein. It's a very protein-heavy meal. Is this because pro protein shakes are too expensive

and this costs a living crisis? Perhaps it's a cost thing. And you can't find eggs easily? It's just the sheer amount of protein, though. Because, you know, what's a serving of protein? 20 grams and you have three of them a day or whatever the deal is? Yep. Well, and so that's about 60 grams.

So this guy, Henry, in New York, he noted that pedigrees, kibble and bits, oven-roasted beef with spring vegetable and apple flavours had 666 grams of protein. That's too much. That's way too much for human beings. 600 more than most adult humans should consume a day. Because your body at a time can only consume X amount of grams of protein, right?

Can't you get sick? Can't you get sick from having too much protein? I remember reading that once that someone was having way too much protein and absolutely stuffed their body. Because I thought it was supposed to be like maximum one gram per kg. Most research indicates eating more than two grams per kg Of body weight or protein For a long time

Can cause health issues Including intestinal discomfort And indigestion and dehydration Protein poisoning Yeah So I've just had a look The Tux Original Adult Biscuits Tux

Beef liver Keeps him full alive Fit as a fiddle, sharp as a knife. Tux keeps him full alive. Mean and lean and over driving. Fetch, scratch, here boy. Got a dog. It's the diesel for the working dog.

I'm still amazed you know that much. From Cape Brianna to the bluff. Only one thing that's good enough and it's Tux. Keeps him full alive. I wish I'd gone for another brand now.

That was amazing. Carry on. I used to love that ad. Same. And they used to host, they used to do the dog awards. Tux Wonder Dogs.

Yes, Tux Wonder Dogs. Do you remember when they used to televise the dog trials? Yes. Dude, I love that. It's crafty. Can't get good television.

No wonder that's not on, still on TV. Jim Mora. Jim Mora used to commentate that beautiful voice of Jim Mora. Well, the average. Here we see a small heading dog from South Canterbury doing his best to round the sheep. Oh my God. I watched some live sheep rounding

last weekend. Yeah, at the QMU show. At the QMU show. That was madness. They were letting the spectators stand too close to the fence. Yeah, they did. It was an added element.

Carry on. Your info about tux. The average biscuit, I've just looked at the nutrition, 16% crude protein. Crude? It's crude protein. Oh, does that mean like

the bits and the livers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the bits have moved up. Anuses and such. Yeah, a bit of anus. A bit of anus. High in protein, the anus. High in protein.

Yeah, but I prefer my anus fully hydrated. I don't like it dehydrated. Yeah, you've got to moisturise. Yes. I like a slow roasted. Pulled. Pulled anus. I like pulled anus.

Yeah. I mean, I guess guess judging by the ingredients, it's not like you're not going to die from it. No, but that's. Yuck. Tuck's biscuits, incredibly dry. Coming from somebody who tried to eat one once. Well, could you put them in a smoothie? You could.

You love a breakfast smoothie. I do. Just one Tuck's biscuit. I used to follow a guy who was a bodybuilder and he just couldn't get enough protein in a day, so he would blend up chicken and water. Like cooked chicken. Blend it up because he was like, rather than chewing through this dry-ass chicken every day.

It's kind of, it's like cold chicken soup. It's like a cook soup. Rather than letting the soup break the proteins down, you're using the magic. Just get protein powder like everyone else, you know? Or just calm down. Yeah. You're using the magic bullet. Just get protein powder like everyone else, you know? Or just calm down. Yeah.

I would recommend calming down. Steroids. Just like squirt, squirt in the morning and you're all juiced up and ready to go. Quarter past six next on the show, how people feel about splitting the bill evenly. I'm not splitting the bill, you're paying. You can do it, you don't have kids. You're a jerk,'re paying. You can do it. You don't have kids.

You're a jerk. Yeah. So why should I pay? You don't have kids. You can pay. I like how you forgot she didn't have kids. Wait, Vaughn should pay.

I shouldn't pay. I've got kids. Don't you get government handouts for having kids? Yeah, they pay you to have these kids. Yeah, they pay you. Don't tell everybody

about my government handouts. So many government handouts. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a study of 2,000 adults has found that a third of them completely against splitting the bill. Which I thought might be more. Is that more? So instead of splitting the bill, you go for a pay for what you had?

Yeah. Side salad and fries? Yeah. No, I'm always up for a bill split. Yeah, but if you're only getting a side salad and fries,

you should pay a tax for going out for dinner and having a boring meal that I can't have a little bite of. But then you always get pud. Always get pud. You're big on pud.

Oh my God. So why should Hayley and I pay for your pud? I had pud last night. We went to More Pork. Oh yeah. Which is a big like Texan barbecue place and I had to Moorpork. Oh yeah. Which is a big Texan barbecue place

and I had bread and butter pudding. Oh yeah, they're bourbon. Oh yeah, good. They're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon,

they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon, they're bourbon,

Oh yeah, I drank bourbon and cokes. This is a problem. You drank bourbon and cokes? Yeah man, I was in the American mood. Yuck. Yeah.

Yuck. Well this is a problem, you go out with you two and mood. Yuck. Yeah. Yuck. Well, this is the problem. You go out with you two and you're having pud. And you're not having pud? And bourbon and coke. You're not having pud. You should be taxed for not having pud. Sort of a boring tax.

Yeah. I mean, it all depends who you're out with, right? Like. Yeah. Because not everybody earns the same. And then, like, you know, some friends might, like you say, they might be, I don't know, shredding. Shredding for the wedding. Don't go out for dinner if you're shredding.

You know, they just have a salad. Everyone else has way more. Yeah, I guess you kind of got to do it on a base-by-base. Case-by-case. A case-by-case basis. Basis, case-by-basis. Base-by-base. A base-by-base.

A base-by-base casus. Yeah, I suppose so. We generally build splitters, even though sometimes one of us will get a cinnamon roll and one of us won't. And one of us will get coffee. We always get cinnamon rolls. One of us will get a cocktail when we go out for brunch.

Yeah. You just never know. The difference between my coffee and your cocktail is about $10. I'm pretty sure they're both $25. I'm pretty sure. The bottomless coffee that you get at Brunch is the exact same as my breakfast martini. It's $5. It's $25.

This is why we're not splitting. My favorite is the, I'll get this, and then in the group chat, divide it. Yeah. Or just in the group chat, put the receipt, and then transfer over. Or they say, I'll get this, indicating that group chat divide it. Yeah. Or just in the group chat put the receipt and then transfer over. Or they say, I'll get this, indicating that they will get it. No, no, as in like saying, I'll cover it and then we'll sort it out later. Yeah. Well, because a lot of places only do one bill.

Have you guys ever done, we've got friends and we do this, you both put your cards above the pay wave machine and you drop them. And whoever's lands first is pay spread. You're probably going to get too many cards. You're going to get a too many cards notification. I'd drop mine just a little bit slower. Three, two, one. Drop, drop, drop.

I put a little bit of sticky on my finger so my card didn't drop in time. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, it stuck to me. Or use a card that's been cancelled. Have it constantly in your wallet, a cancelled credit card. Just to play that game. Yeah, and then when you go out, be like, oh, my God, this time mine's going to land first.

I'm going to chuck it. Or just drop your flybys card. Yes. Drop a club card. Yeah, a Dr. Haley Sproul flybys card. Yeah. Are you a doctor on your flybys? Yeah, you get to choose your own title.

That's going to come back to bite you in the arse. When I'm on a plane. When you're on a plane. Are there any doctors who also collect flybys on board? Shoot, I guess that's me. Hello. I guess that's me. Yeah, I guess that's me.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown has called on Auckland Transport to reduce its unjustifiable $145 million spent on road cones and traffic management. Gosh. God, there must be some money in that business. I think there might be a little bit more to it. It seems slightly reductive to just say road cones and traffic management. Yeah.

So some signs and some cones. Those cones are expensive, though, aren't they? I read an article a few weeks ago about how, yeah, you've got to have those people in the, you know, the big flashy trucks? Yeah. The thing at the back, you can't crash into them? Yeah. And the big strobe light?

Sometimes they nearly crash into them. Yeah. And they've got to have them around all the time. Well, you've got to have them around. And the big strobe light. Sometimes they nearly crash into them. Yeah. And they've got to have them around all the time. Well, you've got to have them around. And they cost money. Yeah, because then we're like, oh, okay, well, we'll try it without it. And then somebody drunkenly crashes into a road worker and kills them and everyone's like,

where was the truck with the lights on it? Well, you said you didn't want to pay for that anymore. You didn't want to pay for them, yeah. But, like, just, I don't know, put some cones up. Can't we meet in the middle? Just have some cones up. I't we meet in the middle? Just have some cones up. I often think about those people that do the, I've opened, I've popped a button. I beg your pardon.

I saw her breasts. I do apologise, my breasts are out. It's 6.28. I always think about those people like, what a fun job it would be to drive that truck. With the flashing sign, just like watch some TV. While it's flashing. Yeah.

They just literally sit there while all the construction workers are working. Yeah, yeah. Coming from two people who have never done it so would actually never know. I've seen them. They sit there.

There might be some sitting but there's more to it, I think. Is there? Is there? People want their roads fixed, don't they? They're not fixing the roads.

They're not fixing them. They're sitting in the truck. They're part of the safety process of fixing the roads. Look, just put some cones up. There were hardly millions of people dying every year of road cone accidents, were there? One is enough. I used to drive around when I was at uni. Hit them.

The road cones? Mitsubishi, yeah. Did you kick open a car door and knock over a cone? Yeah. We used to just drive into them. The road cones? Mitsubishi, yeah. Did you kick open a car door and knock over a cone? Yeah. We used to just drive into them. You just lie backwards and you boot the door open

and knock a cone over. Hell of a time. Okay, maybe they do need these trucks. Yeah, they do. Top six ways to save money on roadworks, number six on the list.

Don't do them. See how everyone likes it then. Oh yeah, good, yeah. Don't fix the roads. Don't fix the roads and see how everybody likes it then. There's lots of potholes though.

Yeah, I know, but you didn't want any of the trucks. You wanted to save money on roads, didn't fix the roads and see how everybody likes it then. There's lots of potholes, though. Yeah, I know, but you didn't want the trucks. You wanted to save money on roads, didn't you? You didn't want to pay it, part of the rates. You wanted to pay. Number five on the list of the top six ways to save money on roadworks. Don't let cars on the road. They seem to be the problem.

Yeah, they're the ones making the big holes. Make the road and then just look at it. Cars and trucks, they're making the holes. So, you know, it would make sense that they aren't allowed on the road anymore. You know who would love

to use those roads and wouldn't do much damage to them? Cyclists. They would. Number four on the list of the top six ways to save money on roadworks, fill the potholes

with ramen noodles. I like those videos, yeah, and then fill it with... Resin. Resin. Ramen and a resin. That would be so expensive... Resin. Resin. Ramen and resin. It'd be so expensive. Ah, very expensive road.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to save money on roadworks. Less lights on those trucks. You know the trucks that you guys were just talking about? Yeah. Probably half the lights. Okay. Quite obnoxious. Very bright.

Very bright. There's a couple of them, so yeah, you could do with less. Number two on the list of the top six ways to save money on roadworks. Make roads out of melted plastic. It lasts forever. We've got lots of plastic, don't we? Yeah. I think people have been testing this theory, haven't they?

Plastic roads. Some plastic roads. Yeah. Well, there's roads with solar panels in them. And they charge the lights and stuff. And there are roads that, aren't they working on roads that charge your car? Yeah, as you drive them. It's amazing.

Did you see, I thought you would have loved, I think it was Fair Go last week, did a story on what happens to the recycling. You know how councils have like rubbish bins and then beside them they have like recycling bins? Yep. 100% of Auckland's recycling goes into landfill. And those council bins. That is 100%.

The total amount. The total amount. The total amount. So when I'm like standing there, because it takes me a good 30 seconds to work out if my coffee cup should go in the bin or the recycling. It's all going in landfill. Doesn't matter. I've wasted all that time.

It's all going in landfill. Wow. And then they asked someone why you even bother having them and they said to raise awareness of recycling. Oh, for God's sake. Dude, it was infuriating to watch. It was insane. Wait, so when the rubbish

truck comes, is it picking up both and putting it in the back? No, so you know, not household waste. It's the council bins. When you're walking down the road, yeah, no, it just picks it up and it all just goes in one and then just goes in the landfill. Wild. At least we're aware that you could recycle if you...

If you really wanted to, because we're raising awareness about recycling, but in turn, not recycling at all. I need to watch that clip. It was a fair go. Yeah, I think it was a fair go, and they went round the country working out what percentage, and there wasn't a single council with a recycling bin

that 100% of the recycling got recycled. Wow. Clean, green Kiwis. And most of our recycling got recycled. Wow. That's... Clean, green kiwis. And most of our recycling, isn't that, like, shipped off anywhere? China's just been stockpiled. Wow. Has it been stockpiled in Thames?

I believe it's pronounced Thames. Is Thames stockpiling it? I think, yeah. Thames doesn't have a lot else going for it. And that... It's good for them to feel needed. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we'll take you.

Fanta bottles. I suppose. Oh my God, so much Fanta. I think we just chuck it all in those old gold mines. Yeah, I reckon fill up the gold mines. Fill up the gold mines. With plastic bottles. I can't see a single problem with it.

I can't see a problem either. I don't think Mother Nature would be upset by that. In another few million years, whoever's in charge of Earth, I'm assuming it will have turned into something valuable. Yeah. Who's in charge of Earth currently? Humans. Oh, yes.

Sorry, I thought you meant like one individual. Oh, no, no, no. No. Humans. And number one on the list of the top six ways to save money on roadworks, just give everybody a plane so they can fly to work. And then we don't need roads. We just need a little driveway runways.

Like a little hover. That'd be so cute. A hover plane. Like a plane chair. Like the Jetsons. Yeah. You could leave your plane, because you've got the biggest garage.

Yeah. You could leave your plane and then come to mine, and then we'll go to Fletcher's. Because I don't have a plane garage, I wouldn't be able to store my plane. It isn't an apartment. You can work. You can walk to work.

No, I want to fly. Why do we get to fly? He doesn't get to fly. Why do we get to fly? He doesn't get to fly. We just have to drop a rope. And then you hold on and we'll airlift you to work. I can do that. I can be airlifted to work. That sounds fun as well.

You have to watch out as you swing him past the Sky Tower, though. Yeah. Don't want to get hooked on that. Don't want to bang him into the Sky Tower. Fletch is not with us today. We banged him into the Sky Tower again. He's just taking a couple of days off. That is today's top six

Big day Big day for Sproul I Um Has this podcast been announced? Is this a soft launch? Am I soft launch? 2023 is the year of the soft launch.

You could soft launch. Oh, soft launch. Soft launch. Now, sometimes on the show, we have our good friend, resident sexologist, Morgan Penn, on to talk all things body, mind, sex, pleasure, etc. We had an outrageous overtime podcast, didn't we, over the

summer break? You can go find that. You can go find that. It's still there. That was educational. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Not appropriate for on air. No. But we're doing a little podcast together, me and Morgan. It's her podcast, but I'm sort of the questionnaire of it.

And we are diving into an experience she had and also a little bit about the work that she does with people. And we thought it would be a good idea together for me to experience firsthand some of the work that she does with people. Now, one of the things that she is most known for. And Vaughn's had one of these. Has he? Have you had a Yoni map?

I don't have a Yoni. I feel the mapping would be quite hard given that it doesn't exist. Yeah, she'd get down there and be like, hang on. Hang on a sec. We're talking about

the back yoni. No, no, no. Not the back yoni, the front yoni. Front yoni. Well, she does a thing called yoni mapping and it's quite involved

and I won't get too much. You can Google it. Go to morganpenn.co.nz. I've given a couple of bloody yoni maps and more to her. I don't know if you have. It's not quite the same as that.

It's not that. Well, it's a two and a half hour deep dive into... Two and a half hours. Jesus, how deep? We'll see. We'll see. Two and a half hour deep dive into you. We talk for a while

and then we massage for a while and then eventually the mapping is quite a hands on experiment touching in the downstairs area to identify any areas of tension

or stress. You've really jumped back into your work day, haven't you? Today, after being away, marching nationals. I really have. Yeah. This is something that I probably would never do had I not been working with Morgan in this way. Yeah. But we thought it would be such an interesting experience because of that.

Because my kind of role in our podcast together is the outsider who is perhaps, I struggle with earnestness. Prudish. Not prudish. In any manner. In any manner. But there's something quite vulnerable and earnest

about this sort of thing. And you know me, I'm always up for a laugh. I'll always head straight for the laugh. Whereas this is quite a lot. It's the opposite, yeah. And so the podcast, the first episode, when it comes out, will be your experience with this. Will be me sharing my experience as a normie

in the sex world. With this Yoni mapping with Morgan. I've been reading about it. There are lots of benefits. What are the benefits of this? Reclaim your sacred space. Now, Morgan gave me, remember I had a UTI last week.

I'll just update the people. It's cleared. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, the antibiotics worked. No problem. But that's because you were away in Christchurch and you had an actual toilet that you were using, not a bucket, during renovations.

Yeah, exactly. That definitely helped. But she did give me some advice to ask my yoni why it was mad at me. So she thinks it's the mood of the yoni that gave the UTI rather than the... Well, she thinks that it could have been some other things, you know, because sometimes you're... That's the real centre of the woman, you know? How do you ask it?

I didn't ask it. Right. I just slammed it with meds. And was like, I'll deal with you later. But I have integration of the mind, heart, and parts. Yeah. Feeling connected to your power, centre, and creativity. I mean, this is perfect for me.

I'm currently making a new show, a one-hour stand-up comedy show. I need to be creative at the moment. I could have a block. And it could be down there. Well, you'll get to see. This is a soft launch for the podcast. Soft launch for the podcast. You get to find out all about it.

Yeah. I'm nervous and I'm excited and I'm intrigued. I don't generally have people touching that area unless, you know, there's a romantic intent. Yeah. Or medical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's sort of neither nor.

It's sort of it's not medical, but it's not, we're not on a date. And I know if you've been following Morgan, she's got some great stories for the new season for the podcast. She's trying not to tell me too much so that we can discuss it in the moment. Well, soft launch, soft launch. Soft launch. Watch this space. And good luck today.

Thank you. I will text you afterwards and give you an update. Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole. Doth thou's car have a name? Not really. 64% of people said, um, no. So two thirds no, one third yes.

My car has a name. Let's delve into some of these names. Katie says, ooh. That's a great start. Since my brother's girlfriend came along, every vehicle in the family has a name. Spew. I don't think she's a huge fan. She's not into it.

She's not into it at all. She's a huge fan of the brother's girlfriend there. So if your girlfriend has named every single car in your family, she's not liked. You're not enjoying it. She's given you a big ooh. Rosie said Henny, short for Henrietta, because I love my car and personifying her makes me love her just that little bit more.

It's going to make it harder when you get rear-ended and the traffic lights and poor Henny's got to... Henny, no! Melissa says Mandy Figgy the Third. Mandy Figgy? She's a mandarin colour. Yeah. The number plate starts with PHG.

Yeah. And she's a princess. So Mandy Figgy the Third. An orange car. Yeah. You do see orange cars. Do they do orange cars? I've not seen any orange cars.

Not many. Well, there's a few? I have not seen any orange cars. Not many. Well, there's a few. It's not as popular as grey. I played a, I think, I don't know if my kids made this game up, but they tell me it's a game. You do the rainbow, and you've got to see the cars in the colour order. Oh, yeah, okay. But when I see the orange, they can't have that orange.

Now, I do remember orange did take us a while, but as soon as we saw one orange, there was lots of oranges. Lots of utes are orange, eh? Oh, yeah, like a pearly kind of metallic orange. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Emily says, my car's name is the MILF emergency.

The number plate is MLF111. No, it's not personalised and I'm not a mum. If I was, it'd be on point. So MLF, looks like MILF, and then 111, the emergency number. Okay. The MILF emergency.

Elise says, a yellow Suzuki Swift and his name is Kevin because he's little and yellow like a minion and there's a minion called Kevin. Oh my God. You need to get some blue jeans, like a vinyl sign writing on the bottom of the...

Yes. That would look cool. Some straps up. A little eye on the boot. Yeah. Spenders. Yes, big eyes. I named my last two cars, and they got written off within three months, says Bree, so now

I don't name cars because it's a bad omen. Can't get too close to them. Yeah, either that or just a bad driver. Could be that. Could be that. Could be that. Could be. We name our cars by the initials in the license plate. FPH is my current, is my friend's car, my friend's current car, so it's Fatty Poo Head.

Fatty Poo Head. Fatty Poo Head. That's a good way of remembering your plate. You know when you do get a new car and you can't remember for a while? Yeah. Nicola says, bluey, because he's blue and our four-year-old loves bluey. So the car is bluey. Nice.

That's good. And Courtney says, no, because I drive a basic bitch Swift like every other white girl. My car doesn't deserve a name. No. I would give the Swift. Yeah. Swift needs a name. They're a cute little car doesn't deserve a name. No. Aw. I would give the Swift. Yeah. Swift needs a name. They're a cute little car.

They're a character car. You give your car a name if you want. It's completely up to you. I'm not going to force you to name your car. But we will be checking in tomorrow. Make sure you've done your homework naming your car. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I hate to break you this bad news, chocolate lovers,

but Whittaker's are putting up their... Excuse me. Can you please use the chocolate lover's voice bad news, chocolate lovers, but Whittakers are putting up their... Excuse me, can you please use the chocolate lover's voice? Hello, chocolate lovers. Hello, chocolate lovers. Hello, chocolate lovers. How are you? I'm so good. Oh, yeah, I'd want some chocolate.

I'd love some chocolate. Yeah, what kind of chocolate do you want? A delicious, creamy chocolate. Yeah, creamy Whittaker's chocolate. Where do you want the creamy chocolate put? In your mouth, ideally. In your little mouth. Sometimes I put the chocolate on my boobies. And my wife says, gross, now it's covered in hair.

And I said, I did this because I didn't want to share. You've ruined the sheets. No one's going to believe that's chocolate on the sheets. With the bout of gastro going around, no one will believe it. What will the cleaners say? Burn the sheets. How dare you, Sully Nigella's beautiful chocolate lover's voice. Hello, chocolate lovers.

Hello, chocolate lovers. Yeah! Hello, chocolate lovers. Yeah. Hello, chocolate lovers. We wanted you to be the first to know that from Monday, we will unfortunately be bringing in price increases. Boo. Says the official Whittaker's Facebook page. Our costs continue to rise.

Cry me a river. And we will never cut these costs by compromising on our quality ingredients. We promise to continue crafting world-class chocolate from our factory in Porirua. Thank you for your attention. Okay, so how much is it normally at the moment? Beep, beep, beep. Because they go on sale sometimes. Yeah, well, you've got to get them when they're on special.

And sometimes the supermarkets will do that loss leader thing where they make them real cheap. Can you Google? I think the news article said... News story, yeah. Countdown currently has large blocks of watercress on sale for $4.80. New World had the same blocks for $4.79. One cent less.

Suck it. Yeah. And Pack and Save was selling them for $4.49. I always get charged That dairy premium Because I always get it Last minute Because I've caved in

Yeah And you know The dairy's right next to my house So I'm like Well I guess I'm paying $7 or $8 Whatever they charge you You also live really close

To a supermarket For a Whittaker's With some dust on it Yeah it's a bit dusty It's always got a little bit Of dust on it When you're eating the dairy Yeah because they've been There for a while Sitting there a while Your peeler and the chocolate's Got that like white coating on it. Yeah, it's a bit dusty. It's always got a little bit of dust on it when you eat it from the dairy. It's been there for a while.

Sitting there a while. You peel it and the chocolate's got that white coating on it, you know, of old chocolate. You've always got to check the expired ads of chips and biscuits at dairy. Run a hot flannel over that chocolate and the white stuff will be gone. Do you think? Yeah, give it a rinse. Is that a thing?

Give it a hot wipe. Don't know about that. Are you still obsessed with the blondie biscuit? That's yum. Hazella. I don't know about that. Are you still obsessed with the Blondie Biscuit? That's yum. Hazella. Oh, you're such trash. You've liked Hazella since the day it first came out. It's great.

It's great. And Jelly Tip. Jelly Tip's my number one all time. Don't call me trash. We've been here. We've been here. That is too sweet. Don't call me trash.

You're so embarrassing. Well, I guess you've just got to, if you're one of these people that can do this, is when you sit on special at the supermarket, buy a few blocks and put in the pantry or the fridge or whatever. But then I'm just going to eat them one a day. I know, I can't do that. I can't have them in the house. I only buy when I need.

Yeah, and I'm like, trust me, Tuesday Vaughan, you'll thank me for this, and Monday Vaughan eats it all. So that Tuesday Vaughan can't be tempted. Oh, right. Unless Monday Sade got another block for Tuesday Sade. But then she's got better willpower so she only has one line and then Tuesday Vaughn's got to destroy the

block for the benefit of Wednesday Vaughn. Yeah. And he'll do it. As the sort of guy Tuesday Vaughn is. So you're saving yourself by eating it all. Who's your favourite Vaughn? I love Thursday Vaughan. He's got the energy. I love drunk party Vaughan.

Like, remember drunk Wiggles Vaughan? Yeah. He had fun. He comes out sometimes. He had fun. He had fun that day, didn't he? Yeah, Saturday Vaughan. Yeah.

Saturday Vaughan. Friday Vaughan's pretty good. Good, good Vaughan. Friday Vaughan's tired from the week. Friday Vaughan's very tired. Friday Vaughan's very tired. He's really putting, like, he's prioritising a nap now. Yeah.

Yeah. To make the most of the Friday night. Well, a lot of people will be booking holidays for winter. No. Nothing I can find overseas that I can't find in my own backyard. So you're doing renovations, can't afford it. I can't afford it at the moment. It's a wise decision.

Cost of living prices. But there are some stats out. 73% of pre-COVID levels, Kiwis heading overseas. And was it the last month or so that international visitors backed to pre-COVID levels? Oh, really? Which is pretty amazing. I don't know.

I definitely noticed that around the city. Loads of tourists. It's busy. Pandemic's over. It's so good. It's done. Yeah, no one's getting it. So our friend Brad Olson, actually, with a stat.

From February, Kiwis spent $4.1 billion overseas. So we are travelling. Who's got this money? Who's got this billions? People winning lotto? Jesus. I don't know. Places that are being booked, Queensland, Thailand, Hawaii,

and Bali are trending. Bali. Now, I wanted to talk about Bali because you're a big fan. You've mentioned it once. Big Bali girl. Well, it sounds like from a press briefing that the government held, the Bali governor, they are looking to crack down on tourists and it looks like they will no longer be able to rent motorbikes.

What? That's the best bit. That's one of the best bits. Says the person that fell off their motorbike. Jammed my knee into a gate, yeah. I didn't hire a scooter in Bali. Didn't you? No, neither.

How'd you get around? A little fella came and put us up and drove us there. Was there Uber in Bali? There's Uber, eh? No, there's those trucks, the open back trucks that they come and get you in. Those are pretty great. Those are fun. But there's some islands.

We didn't do it in, what's the main place? Big place. Big main place. Bali. Big city place. Bali, Bali. No, the place we're going to do next place. Bali. City place. Bali, Bali. No, the, listen, Seminyak. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We didn't do them there because it's chaos. Oh, it's chaos, yeah. But when we went to like smaller islands, like smaller little parts of it. You get like the little taxi vans. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. No.

How do you get around? Craziness. Well, yeah, apparently, yeah, it's going to become a thing. I mean, it makes sense. There were so many people, myself included, who get injured on these things. Yeah. And some of them to a terrible degree.

But even this guy told reporters that tourists would be restricted to using cars. Yeah, so no scooters at all. You have to taxi around. So you'd still be able to taxi or rent a car, but just that the scooters were a problem. Because I remember being outside a bar and it was like one or two in the morning

and a drunk Aussie left the bar, went over to the, like there was a kind of a park where everyone parked their scooters, got on a scooter, crashed it five metres from where he'd got on it and got up, grazed, and he was pissed.

And I was like, okay, that's why they're banned. Nothing ruined a holiday I liked shedding off a few layers of skin. Layers of skin. On the concrete. Yeah, one of those good burny ones and you're not sure if it's infected or not. Yeah, it's like oozes and you're like, what is that? Yeah. Why is that yellow? I'll go for a swim in the sea water.

The salt water's good for it but it's not clean. It's not clean. Can't go in the sea water. The salt water's good for it, but it's not clean. It's not clean. Can't go in the pool either. I can understand that. Yeah, well. I think it'll make it better. I think it'll make it better. Probably not a bad thing, right?

The scooters are a nightmare in Bali. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. Ms. Taylor Swift. And we ran a competition to send some people there, and they are in America right now. Good morning or good afternoon. I don't know where it is where you are.

Ella and Brooke? Hey, guys. How are you going? Yeah, so good. Where are you right now? We are currently at a viewpoint at the Grand Canyon at the moment. Oh! Is it as majestic as they say?

It really is. Even more so. It's absolutely stunning. Can you yell into it? Will it echo back? It's too big. We haven't tried that yet, but there's some people around, but when they're not around, we'll try it.

You should yell your dirtiest secret and just release it into the canyon. We'll do it. You should do it. You should do it. And just release it into the... Scream of secret. Into the canyon. Into the canyon. Okay, we'll do that. Yes, no. Just something you've been sitting on for years. Now, we've seen highlights.

We've seen headlines from the shows at the weekend. The Errors Tour opened 44 songs, three hours long. How was it? Yeah. Honestly, I can't even describe how amazing it was. It was just one of the best experiences of my life. We saw... It was probably like

the best performance. Yeah. We saw photos you guys posted. Brooke, are you crying quite a lot? A little bit, yeah. Your face? Some tears were definitely shared, yeah Yeah Your face

Some tears were definitely shared, yeah It's three hours too long I'm sort of an hour and a half tops concert guy No, we need a seven day music festival Where she plays every single song No, because she's got some duds Let's admit that she's got some duds You know, not every song's a banger.

I don't think there were any duds in the 44 songs, though, were there? Apparently not. No. No, definitely not. No, no, no. Which is interesting because I'm known for saying that Shake It Off is a dud and then I was there singing the lullaby. Shake It Off is a dud?

Who sings Shake It Off is a dud? Controversial. Very controversial She goes to me When is she going to play The 1989 songs Like go to the bathroom Drink shake it off And I was like

Look we came all the way To the other side of the world You are not going To the bathroom at all No just pee yourself Pee yourself Three hours That's at least

Three pee breaks That's the problem You're going to have to Choose some songs To take a pee break If there are 44 songs. Yeah. We just hold it.

We just held it. Well, that's a UTI. That's a free UTI included in the giveaway we gave you. We're booking doctor's appointments now when you get home.

Well, Ella and Brooke will leave you to enjoy the Grand Canyon. But yeah, what an incredible experience. Fingers crossed that it comes down under the tour. Fingers crossed it comes down under the tour.

Fingers crossed. Yeah. If it did come to New Zealand, would you go again? Yes. All right. There you go. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Sold.

All right. Ella and Brooke, thank you. Just want to say, though, I just want to say thank you so much. It's been such an awesome experience. And, like, we can't thank you guys enough. And, yeah, the team, it's just been awesome. Yeah,

so we're really appreciative and we're super thankful. I mean, we didn't pay for it ourselves, personally. Absolutely. I chipped in.

Did you? Vaughan's actually financially backed this trip, have you? Yeah. Oh, wow,

nice. I always knew Vaughan was my favourite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I chipped in knew Vaughan was my favourite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chipped in. Rude.

Very rude. Hayley, we may be hot girls, but Vaughan is our favourite. You've made a sensible decision. Hot girls have to stay together for life. Hot girls do. Ella and Brooke, enjoy the Grand Canyon. And next flight is our next giveaway. After 8 o'clock this morning, Tegan's in with her friend.

Well, Vaughan's pitched in for all of these trips as well. Oh my gosh. You'd think Grab a Seat were supplying them all, but no, Vaughan. I think I've got a $5 note in my bag. Financially has backed these trips, haven't you? Grab a Seat and Vaughan. So Tegan's coming in with her friend.

They've packed their suitcases. They've packed their bags. We're going to send them on the next flight out of here after 8 o'clock. There are still five flights as well to some incredible destinations. I can't wait to tell them where they're going. I don't the next flight out of here after 8 o'clock. There are still five flights as well to some incredible destinations. I can't wait to tell them where they're going. I don't even know.

Do you know? We should probably find out before we tell them. I was in a meeting. I know. I've got this great poker face, though. Like, ask me where they're going. Where are they going? Oh, my God.

That's exactly how poker faces work. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. That's exactly how poker faces work. It is time for the impossible phone-in topic. A topic that we think is so impossible, we won't get any or many calls. And... Oh, I don't know today. This is interesting.

Yeah. Because this is going to take people admitting something quite big. Now, can we preface this by saying you can call anonymously and we'll never share your information because this is, it's a bit juicy. It's juicy. So you would have seen that the lotto drawer, $11.7 million of which went to the Cyclone Relief Fund.

Yes. Which is very good. The lotto draw was won. $15.5 million went to one person. And it was an online ticket in Canterbury. So somebody is a $15.5 millionaire. Exactly. Just like that.

Overnight. Yeah. And then anytime someone wins one of these big ones, the 23 or whatever, the 15, your mind immediately goes, oh my God, what would you do? What's the first thing you do? Mine's always go get a bottle of champagne, have a little shop around. But that kind of wealth is

mind-blowing to me. And a lot of New Zealanders. Majority of New Zealanders. Some of the country's CEOs, because over the weekend, the list was released of how much CEOs earn. I saw that. Who's the top?

Who's the top? Who's the top? Please carry on. I will endeavour to find out. Hey, thank you. I've got that list in my email. Yeah, I've got it. Okay.

I've got it. Thanks, Mom. But I just can't imagine it. I mean, I'm doing all right. I'm happy. I'm comfortable. Yeah, yeah. But $15.5 million, you are like.00 something of the top wealth in New Zealand.

I know. That's insane. And I'm like, I don't even know how you could spend that much money. I have questions about what it is like to have that much money. So my impossible phone or I've dreamed up is, are you richer than that man who won $15.5 million? Do you have more than $15.5 million? Nobody is going to call because we want some, please.

No, we're not going to ask for any. We're not going to say you should give it all away. Have you heard how much I've been chipping in around here lately? I know. Oh, yeah, you've been putting so much towards these flyaways. And if you should give it all away. Yeah, have you heard how much I've been chipping in around here lately? I know. Oh, yeah, you've been putting so much towards these flyaways. And if you've got $15.5 million, if you gave us a million, you wouldn't even notice. Oh, please.

This is A, why no one's going to call, because you've already started groveling. No, I'm not going to grovel. I don't want your money. You just want to see if there's anybody listening now that has, is worth or has, like, because what about assets? What do you reckon? Like, what if somebody was left, like, a $16 million mansion?

Do we even have those in New Zealand? Asset rich, money poor. No, I want money. I want money in the bank. I want to know you've got a big fat wallet of cash. I think this could be the first impossible final where we don't get a single poor. Actual nothing.

We get actually nothing. I'm challenging it. I'm really pushing out the boat here to see if we can find someone who's richer than $15.5 million. Maybe you've won one of these big lotto draws. Maybe you did. Maybe you've won a lotto before. You don't have to have retained this money. Maybe you don't have it anymore, but maybe you did at one point in your life.

Have $15.5 million. What about someone that had like 16, 17 million Bitcoin and now it's worth $20? Can't find the USB stick that it's on. That too, yeah. Bloody hell. All right, well. Did you find out their CEO?

Yeah. So in the top 10, bank, telco, bank, transport, Transport, Warehouse Bank. Oh, my God, the bank thing annoys me so much. The bank. So the top three. Three is the CEO of Fonterra, who earned $4.3 million. Oh, coin.

Ross Taylor, not the cricketer, is in at number two. He's the CEO of Fletcher Building. He earned $6.5 million. And John Cullity of eBoss, which is... What's eBoss? It's like a business group. It owns like biotech. It owns a whole lot of different sorts of things.

Right. Healthcare and stuff. But then also Animates and Vitapet. Oh, okay. Oh, right. Owns a variety of things. He was the highest earning CEO, $6.6 million. A year. A year. But they couldn't call you. This is the problem earning CEO. 6.6 million dollars. A year.

A year. But they couldn't call you. This is the problem. This is too hard. Maybe we should have done, are you a millionaire? Do we want to hear from just basic millionaires? We've got one million. What do they buy you these days? A couple

of bloody cabbages? In a small new-build apartment built by Fletcher Construction? Yeah. So you can take home a couple more. It'll cost them $100,000 to build? So I'll add $100,000. I think it might be the first ever impossible phone art.

Are you worth more than $15 million? Or are you close? Are you filthy rich? We'll change the wording. Are you filthy rich? But then what's your definition of filthy rich? Don't call up and be like, I'm rich in experiences.

Get out. I don't care. We've all been on a plane before. Alright, 0800 dials at M is the number. You can text 9696. Are you very, very, very, very rich? Are you really, really rich? Give us a call. Alright, the impossible phone-in topic.

I reckon I've gone and done it. I reckon I've almost gone and done it. I want to hear if you're rich. If you are really rich. Someone won $15.5 million. And that's the bar you've set. $15 million. You got any more?

You got any more? Well, you ain't done it. I ain't done it. Because we've set. $15 million. You got any more? You got any more? Well, you ain't done it. I ain't done it. Because we've had a couple of calls. A couple of calls. Anonymous joins us with no details. Anonymous, good morning. Oh, is this me?

Yes, it is. Am I anonymous? Yes, we've got two anonymous callers. First anonymous callers. And it almost sounds like we've got the voice disguiser on, doesn't it, with the phone line? A little bit of voice disguising. Anonymous, are you worth more than $15 million? I'm a trustee of a family trust, which certainly doesn't have that in cash,

because you'd be stupid to leave it all sitting in cash. But we have a share and bond portfolio that would be worth well more than that, plus property. Okay, when we're saying well more, give me some numbers. What are we talking about? 20 plus years ago the family sold a business between 80 to 100 million. So it's growing since then.

Are you single? No. Unfortunately all the children in the family are married with kids. And a trust keeps any of the partners, any of the new partners that have kind of crept in last minute, doesn't keep them out of it, does it? Boyfriends who stay for longer than two years.

No, we've done a lot of inheritance planning, so they're cut out. Yeah, they're cut out. So in order for you to get your hot little hands on some of this cash, Anonymous, what needs to happen? Someone's got to die. No, the beneficiary, sorry, the trust just pays out to beneficiaries. So if we want to go on holiday or send all our kids to private school if we want it. What do you do? Okay, I love this What do you do If you're like

Out shopping And then you see A dress And it's like 800 bucks And you're like I really like that Do you have to

Call someone No But No So we get Monthly Stipends Would you call it

Monthly Yeah yeah S-T-I-P-E-N-D-S I always say They were filling out My tax thing At the end of the day. What does that look like? Do you get any of those?

And I'm like, nope. Yeah, it's like an allowance. It's, yeah. Money in the bank. Yeah, it's profit that you get off shares, investments and trusts and stuff. Do you, I would just like to say I work full time. Okay. I wouldn't.

All right. Vaughn wouldn't. I would. I would because I would just get bored. I get bored, same. I get bored and get into trouble. I wouldn't get bored because the trust has bought me a little tractor. Remember that?

And that big plot of land and then I'm just like tootling around. The trust didn't buy all the houses. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That is fascinating, isn't it? Do all your friends know that you have access to this kind of money? Probably not necessarily dollar value, but I always told my boss,

I don't have to be here, I'm here because I want to. So I'm quite open in my opinion. Power play. That would be the problem, wouldn't it? You wouldn't, yeah. Yeah, but it's actually, it works in your favour because people like you to have opinions, but most people in their job are too scared to get fired and so they don't share their

opinion. So that actually is respected. Wow. Well, I'd just have a bad day at work and quit and storm off in a huff and be like, I don't need this job. Yeah. Carwin has just suggested that you win the caller of the week. This woman doesn't need a $50 McCafe voucher.

She's not kidding. Are you kidding me, Carwin? No, Carwin. Can I just say, when I do get these things, they all go into, I just got sent, I get sent stuff by clients and customers and I just give it all to people in the office. So if you did that, I would just donate it to this stuff.

No, no, no, you dip into the trust for this. You don't have to. You dip into the trust for the damn workplace, yeah. You can do a text to mum and dad and say, can I please shout coffees? We're not shit. No way. I'll give you a hint. If you ever email me one

of these, you know, raising money for people, I wouldn't actually donate to anyone at work that sends them. Oh, okay. If you figure out my email address, you'll always get a donation to your charity. Is it anonymous at gmail.com? Because that's the only information we have on you. Do you donate to

radio announcers that are doing renovations? Yeah, do you donate to extension projects? Do you give me a tax donation receipt? You're a registered charity? Yeah, I can whip one of those up. I've got word. I think that sounds like the IRD might want it. And that's how the IRD takes generational wealth.

Anonymous, thank you so much for sharing. It was not impossible. Not impossible. The impossible phone-in topic. Wow. Can we get anyone else? Imagine having an allowance. I want an allowance.

One other text message. So we've only heard from two people. Two rich cheeks. My in-laws are worth around that. They own three dairy farms. Freehold on a $2 million house. We just bought our house last week and they gifted us $200,000 towards it. Literally just

transferred it from their bank accounts. Mind-blowing wealth. Imagine just having a spare couple of 100k to just go like what do you want? Let's do a little transfer. Mind-blowing. Play ZM's

Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Hayley's back from Marching National. Second. Second place. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Also, can I just say, I didn't get a lot of respect for you guys over the weekend.

A lot of people came up to me at the Marching National saying, that Fletch and Vaughan, they need to get a bloody clue. Why? I was like, why have you been listening? What have we done? Have you been listening while I'm not there? They said, no. They need to get a bloody clue on what marching I was like, why have you been listening? What have we done? Have you been listening while I'm not there? They said, no, they need to get a bloody clue on what marching is and what an incredible sport it is.

I'm pretty sure every... These are all marching people. That's like going to a Nazi convention and the Nazis being like, I don't know what they're thinking if they're not here. They're all incredible. Yeah. Gosh, we've got some policies.

It's okay, Nazis, come here. As for Ursula Carlson calling us all strippers, she needs to get a bloody clue. When did she call you strippers? She calls me strippers all the time. We're very short skirts. Oh, yeah. It's part of the sport.

Okay. She doesn't say it in a bad way. She's not saying it negatively. Okay. Because we did every time we said you were at marching nationals, follow that up by saying, apparently it is a sport. Yeah, they heard that. They also heard that you didn't understand why it had to go away for so long

when the nationals only takes two days. Acclimatised to the Christchurch. Yeah, we said you're acclimatised in our church. You've got to train. You've got to go into training camp. But you train every weekend. Yeah, I know, but it's not enough. Then you go into a condensed training period.

Every team's done it. Obviously, it wasn't enough, was it? Wow. Oh, don't. I just don't say that. Wow. Don't say that. Should have left on Monday, not Tuesday.

Because I said On the drive I picked up Hayley today Because she's lost Their licence And You may have read An article recently

No Hayley For the record You haven't Because you're picking up Your new sponsorship today I'm picking up My Audi today You've become

A monthly ambassador Oh you'd for a month Have given me a month A month on month. A month on, yeah. An ambassador for the lunar cycle. Yeah. Audi are reserving the right to cancel any opportunity.

Absolutely. So I picked her up and I said, I had a gunch. Good, good. And I was like, oh, okay. And then there was a bit of silence and she's like, no, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't. It wasn't happy with second place. No. No, I'm happy with second place.

Oh, she said that now. She wasn't though. You're allowed to not be happy with second place. No. No, I'm happy with second place. Oh, she said that now. She wasn't though. You're allowed to not be happy with second place. Nobody wants to go to anything and lose. The team that won are full of people that I know and they deserve to win for sure. Does it mean that I like losing? How many teams were there?

Well, you whittle it down. So there's like many and then you whittle it down into great like into divisions so in the first division only six teams get through at the end

so the top six teams go into the championship but how many teams were there all up I think in our grade there was like 13 14 maybe right

so second that's pretty good thank you that's pretty good I'm like better than better than my I'm happy I'm pretty good. I'm better than you. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy to share. Better than Fletch's Sports Centre at the weekend? What's my sports? Exactly, man. Exactly. Exactly, man. Exactly, you lazy. Exactly, man.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's time to get the flight out of here. ZM's next flight. Thanks to Grab A Seat. It's all thanks to Grab A Seat. Grab life by the seat. You can check out... Grab Vaughan. Grab Vaughan by the seat.

Hey, hands to yourself. That's my seat. Grabavaughan.co.nz Grabaseat.co.nz for amazing deals on flights right now. We have six flights around the world to give away. The deal is you register at ZM online. If we call you

back and select you, you pack your bags and you come in studio and we send you on the next flight out of here. We sure do and that's happened, hasn't it? It has because we're joined in studio by Tegan and Ashley. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

You are currently sitting in. We have found some old airline seats. Old. Of course, from the well-known airline, Slab Disp Bryce. Oh, my God, they do the best food. Oh, my God. It was a cheap European airline that went under. And when I mean under, under the water.

Yeah, but we got these seats back and they're so old, these seats, that they've got the little thing where you put your ciggies in them. You exactly, that's what you need, Vaughn.

Yes. Stop dropping your durry ash on your t-shirts. On my t-shirts. Now, you guys have in front of you quite a large suitcase that you've packed

for your trip. You're sharing a case? Oh, no. No. This is just one. This is just. No? This is just one? This is just the one. This is just chickens. Okay.

Well, we have both of our stuff in here, but just a few little bits and pieces. But you have no idea where you're going? No. Both of them look very nervous. We're not sending you somewhere stupid, don't worry. Because at the moment, we're like southern hemisphere summer. Northern, we could send you to

somewhere cold. Yep. Have you prepared for that? Yes, slightly. Slightly. Might have to do some shopping. Okay, well let's go through your suitcase next and see how you've packed and then we're going to find out where you're going. It's time

to get the flight out of here. ZM's next flight. Thanks to Grab a Seat. Well, all thanks to Grab a Seat. You can register at ZM Online. Six flights around the world to give away. And Ashley and Tegan are right now in our airline seats. Yolda.

In studio. Very comfortable. You're twitching, Ashley. I am shitting myself. 810, there's a swear word for you. Now, in front of you, you've got your suitcase that you've packed one of. Let's open that up and let's see what you've packed because you've got to pack for hot or cold. Because you don't know where you're going.

I see a bikini straight out the gate. Yep. So what we've done is done a winter side and a summer side. Oh, okay. I'm very A-type, so this is like, I'm literally dying. What is an A-type? A-type, personally, like, I am organised. Organised.

Is that me? That's me, eh? Yeah. Look at this. Ash will just show up. Oh, that's Vaughn. That's Vaughn's type. Yeah, yeah. So, summer and winter, we're here. Great Calvin Klein's, by the way.

Yes. Ashley said, oh, well, what about underwear? And I was like, oh, well, yeah, I guess so. Whether you're cold or hot, generally I rock a pair of undies. Generally. Generally. It has to be pretty hot for me to drop my knicks. Yeah, it's got to be super warm. When are you on

holiday not wearing knickers? Quite often. Sometimes. I've got some wild stories from Bali, but that's for another day. That's for another day. Another day. Okay, so this is the cold side. Yes, this is cold side. A lot of fluff.

We snowboard, so we've got our snowboard. Just in case, you know, just in case. Yeah. Slippers, beanie gloves, puffer jacket, coat. So one side, and on the other side you've got towel. Beach towel. Interesting. Interesting bringing your own beach towel. Beach towel. Interesting. Interesting bringing your own beach towel.

Steal them from the hotel. I know, I know, but I'm just quite specific again. She's A-type. A-type. Got them for Christmas. Haven't used them yet because, you know, New Zealand. Also, manky hotel towels don't look good on the Instagram either. No, they don't do it for the gram.

So one whole side of the suitcase is going to be entirely useless to you probably. Pretty much. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Will you still take it or will you just leave it here? Ditch it in the Auckland airport bathroom.

Ditch it in the office. Yeah, no, I'll probably take it. I'll rock a nice summer dress with some Birks in the snow. There you go. Okay. All right. Now, we actually have a suit.

Well, let's just remove your actual suitcase because we have a suitcase now. Oh, the Doc Martens came flying down just then. With some clues as to where you are going on the next flight out of here. Oh, my gosh. It's a retro suitcase as well. Very retro.

All right, open that up and have a look and see if you're getting any clues as to where you're going. Oh, okay. It's pretty summery. It's looking summer. Got flip-flops. We've got flip-flops.

Flip-flops. Or thongs as they call them in Aussie. We've got, are these, is this bluey? I don't have kids. That's bluey, yeah. That's bluey. Yeah, Vaughan can confirm. That's okay. I can confirm. Watched a couple of cracking episodes Yeah, that's Bluey. Yeah, Bluey can confirm. That's okay.

Can confirm. Watched a couple of cracking episodes of Bluey last night. Is this a footy? Footy ball? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Pretty summer vibes. Very summer vibes.

Exciting. Not looking like you're going to need those snowboard goggles. No. At this stage. Should we find out where they're going? Let's do it. ZM's next flight destination confirmed.

Get ready. Get set. Your location will be Sydney, Australia. Woo! Woo! Oh my gosh. I was not pre-warned about the confetti.

I don't know. A wee bit came out. A wee bit came out. A wee bit came out. Guys, congratulations. You're on the next flight out of here to Sydney, Australia. Cool. Have you frequented Sydney much before?

No, not much. I've been once before. Definitely keen to go again. There's an opera house to go again there's an opera house yep there's a big opera house there's a bridge

really big gay scene if you guys are into that cool pretty big gay scene who are we to assume yeah yeah so

no need for the snowboard goggles no definitely not ditch them ditch the winter stuff congratulations guys thank you so much have an amazing time we've got five trips left all thanks to No, definitely not. Ditch them, ditch the winter stuff. Congratulations, guys. Congratulations. Have fun in Sydney. Have an amazing time.

We've got five trips left, all thanks to grabaseat.co.nz. All you've got to do is register at ZM online. We could call you back. You pack your suitcase. We get you in here. And then you are on the next flight out of here. Did you get leave? Yeah.

A-type, dude. A-type. What are you, like K-type? I feel like A-type made K-type, dude. A-type. What are you, like, K-type? I feel like A-type made K-type get leave as well. Yeah, I think so. Have an awesome time, guys. All thanks to Grab the Seat. Register ZM online.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. A little bit of a confetti cannon just before with our next flight winners off to Sydney. Australia. I wee'd a little bit, and then I didn't before with our next flight winners off to Sydney. Australia. I weed a little bit. And then I didn't properly weed. I still need to weed. Now I'm in a conundrum because I've already weed a little bit.

Should I just keep it going? Save going out. So much of that confetti cannon went into their luggage. They might need to repack over their luggage. On the way to get a photo with them and I looked in and there was so much gold in their luggage You know how that stuff gets everywhere They're going to go in Sydney and open it up Also that could

The explosive test could Oh no it's just air canisters It's compressed air We've really stitched them up Then we had a photo and I've been in a big event over the weekend I was like imagine if I had COVID Now I've sent them off to Sydney Australia And weekend. I was like, imagine if I had COVID. Imagine if I've got COVID. Now I've sent them off

to Sydney, Australia and given them COVID in a bag full of confetti. Don't think about that. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh, Vaughan turned up this morning. And when you picked me up this morning,

because we did a ride share, we're trying to save the environment together. Well, no. We tried to save the environment together. Don't make me unrelatable that I'm picking up my Audi today.

You're getting an Audi because you whirred on about it. Because I whirred on about an Audi to give me one for a month. Anyway, I didn't notice this in the dark of the morning, the early morning. But once we got into the studio lights, we noticed that Vaughn has made quite a bold fashion statement this morning. I haven't made a bold fashion statement. It's just my jeans ripped at the knee. It's really weird because a whole lot of spots of the jeans went like all at once.

They thin, don't they? But why are your knees so much? The knees went and then at almost the same time the bottom of the pockets went. You know where you shove your hand? I always shove my hand quite aggressively to flatten out the pocket line.

Yeah, right. And I think it's ripped there, but it's ripped there and then on the knees and stuff as well. So you've got big rips at the thigh, under the pockets, and also at the knees. Yeah. And we were like, wow. Wow. Mr. Fashion's arrived. How much do these rips cost?

Because a lot of companies are ripped jean. They pay a lot of money for them. A distressed look. Are these Subies? Are these the ones you got for free? No, you burst out the crotch in the last one. And then I found them very cheap online. And I liked them, so I purchased some more, and these are those ones.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So you didn't buy them with rips? No. They were a full pair.

I'm a 41-year-old man. I've got no business buying ripped jeans. Who do I think I am? Ricky Martin? That's not it. Who do you think I am? Mark Antony? Yeah.

Who do you think I am? I'm 90s heartthrob. Peter Andre? Josh Hartnett. These are terrible references. Yeah. Yeah. But Subis actually do sell for the same price.

A ripped jean. A ripped Subi is the same price as a non-ripped Subi. How do people, being that I've never been a wearer of ripped jeans, how do people put their legs into them without their toes getting stuck in the time? And then you rip them more. Yeah. And then you go to kneel down and they rip more and your knee goes through the hole and makes it bigger. Well, the rips have both officially, oh, no, that one's got about an inch.

But these rips have hit the seam on the side. So they can't rip anymore. If you were a... Well, I think they're probably going to go vertical next. If you were a curvy gal, if you were like me with a great set of thighs on you, when you get those rips sometimes where they put them on the thigh and you sit down and they go... Your sort of

thigh fat bubbles out the top. Kind of like a muffin comes out of the top. Oh hey, you can't say that. Sort of a muffin top. You can't say that.

Like a muffin top. But it's a muffin leg. No, you're still allowed to say that my thighs are like big fluffy muffins. Yeah, that's better.

I wasn't saying your. No, you're still allowed to say that. I was saying like intense. Wow. My big fluffy muffin thighs.

It is what it is, you know. Very fashionable jeans though. She said it's okay. She's not going to forget you ever said that. She'll never forget you ever said that. I guarantee the next time there's a muffin somewhere, she'll be like, remind you of anything to use. Wow.

Oh, wow, look at that. What is that? A muffin or Haley Sprouse thighs? Yeah. I didn't say that. I didn't say your thighs. I just said a thigh. He's going to greet me in the morning.

G'day, muffin thighs. What, so every woman? No, I said every woman's thighs. I never said woman, did I? What you just said is everyone. You never said muffin. I just said muffin, not woman. Wow.

You sort of said like your thighs look like the top of a muffin. So you think everybody's thighs. Actually, do you want to know the truth? When I said that it comes out like a muffin, I imagined like blueberries coming out of the jeans. So now I've got blue veins. I've got varicose veins. You're going to drag it for a varicose veins?

It was like a fluffy muffin but with blueberries. Varicose veins is a very normal thing that happens to lots of women. I didn't say you had purple dots on you. You've seen them, obviously. And now you're calling them out on air. Show me my thighs. Fluffy blueberry muffins. My thighs are just trying to live their best life.

I mean, I think it's unbelievable. Anyway, let's get back to your jeans. I can't believe this has happened. No, I don't want to be objectified by you anymore. I think you've done enough. What would you say my thighs look like? Hey? No, I don't want to know.

Shush. Like hairy muffins. Yeah, I don't know because these jeans have gotten to the point where they can't rip much more and I'm going to need new jeans because we're heading into jeans season. Well, that's about to become a jort, isn't it? That's what I was thinking. Do I cut them into a jort?

Oh, no. They're too ripped. Are you wanting to take them to, like, an alteration place? Oh, okay, Mum. Get a patch, Mum. Get a patch. Get a tartan patch, shall we, Mum? Get them patched.

I don't know. It's just an idea, isn't it? You don't know anything. That's what this break has revealed, that you don't know anything about anything. Especially women. Am I right? Oh, brother.

Oh, brother. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. It's time for... Fact of the Day. Day, day, live every time. Today's... See? You see? I was out of breath because I ran from the toilet. Today's Fact of the Day is about the Dutch famine of 1944 and 1945. You know I'm a big fan.

That's my favourite famine. Is that your favourite famine? Is that your favourite famine? After the 40-hour famine and the potato famine. What about the great famine of 41, 42 in German-occupied Greece? Not my favourite. Not my favourite. Okay.

I don't go there first. So I listened to a podcast a while ago about the Salvation Experiment. Have you ever heard about this? Yes. Yes, I was listening to a podcast about it the other day. It's crazy. These men couldn't go to war, but they knew after World War II there was going to be lots of countries, due to the devastation of war, that would experience hunger like never before.

So these guys who were like, we want to help, but they war that would experience hunger like never before. So these guys who were like, we want to help but they had met with whatever reason they couldn't be soldiers enlisted to be starved for six months.

They were like, six months? Dude. Oh, no thanks. Like they fed them bits enough to keep them alive. Calorie controlled them insanely.

They were allowed, what was it, black coffee, yeah, they were allowed but everything else Their calories were so Insanely restricted

They had like Mental breakdowns As you can imagine Wow Starving yourself And only coffee And coffee And they were like

Water and No they were allowed Little bits Sounds like the Gwyneth Paltrow diet She's a beef stock Screams of goop She's a beef stock girl

So these guys Like one guy Cut his finger off With an axe And he To this day To eat it For years after

No no no He couldn't tell Whether or not He'd done it on purpose He couldn't work it out Because he was That deprived himself Right

And at the same time As that was being Like a monitored A closely monitored Situation The Dutch famine Was happening Right

In German occupiedoccupied Netherlands. And they, because the American one that I mentioned, all males. So they didn't know, biologically very different. They didn't know how it would affect the female bodies. And so this became like something they studied after the war, the people trying to help rebuild Europe and such in the Netherlands. They studied like the outcome of the people trying to help rebuild Europe and such in the Netherlands,

they studied the outcome of the Dutch famine. And do you know, if a woman was pregnant with a child during that famine, she was lucky to carry it a full term. But it had effects, genetic effects on her grandchildren. Oh, wow. That's how badly it carried through your genetics. The kids that were born, the mother had been pregnant during the famine,

the kids that were born later in life had obesity and obesity-related problems far more than other people in the same situations because their bodies... The metabolism's all screwed. Yeah, and their bodies were just like, hold on to every single thing. Every calorie you take in, store it.

Store it. Even though they were fetuses at the time. And their children also suffered those same effects. Wow. So that's how long. They call it transgenerational stress inheritance and trauma. That's something your ancestors went through through can carry through to you. And the other interesting thing about

the Dutch famine is at the time there was this ward of children, they were sick. They had stomach related issues. Now because the winter was so harsh and they didn't have food these kids didn't get wheat. There was no bread. And they all got better. And then when their bread came in

they gave it to the kids, they got sick again. And it was the first time they ever identified celiac disease. Oh, wow. Because they didn't know what was causing the sickness in this kid, but they took wheat out of their diet and they all got better, these kids with this mystery illness. And then when they gave them bread again, they got sick. Celiac.

Celiac. And that was the first time I was like Properly identified as A condition caused by wheat Fascinating time I can see why It's your favourite family What other things we inherit

What other traumas we inherit From our bloody grandparents Well there's That's a whole That's a whole situation And there's like Well documented examples Of transgenerational trauma

And stress Jeepers Half down through So Relax Yeah Eat well Relax and eat well Yeah Easy So easy generational trauma and stress. Jeepers. Half down through. So. Relax. Yeah. Eat well. Relax and eat well.

Yeah. Easy. Easy. So easy. So easy. So easy. Chill out. Just like have good meals and stuff. Go for a walk with a banana beside running water.

Beside a body of water. A body of water. Those are the three things. That's the key. That's the key. That's the key. Put down the menthols. Yeah.

And the burbs. Yeah. Oh. Only on Saturdays. Do I the menthols and the burbs. Yeah. Only on Saturdays. Do I have to? You do, yeah. Okay. Also, today's fact of the day is the Dutch famine at the end of World War II was the first time they identified celiac disease.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yay. Lovely Lewis Capaldi He shares a lot online Have you seen his Where he sings the duets You know that app where he sings Where people sing half a song and then... Are you describing TikTok?

No, there's an app. Is it Smule? Smule? No, I've never heard of that app. Anyway, he does funny duets and someone sings half a song and then a person on the app sings the other half and he doesn't, but he makes rude lyrics. He's very open.

We've talked to him a few times. He's a very funny man. He's very funny. Well, he shared... Smule. He's very open. We've talked to him a few times. He's a very funny man. He's very funny. Well, he shared... S-Mule. Times is very funny. Excuse me. Seems like you usually...

Shh. What are you doing, Siri? I don't know. Siri just started talking. She is such... She has such an alcohol problem. I know. Like, we need an intervention.

Anyway, so he... Oh, my God, he's 26 years old. That sucks. What do you mean that sucks? He's so successful. Oh, so you get jealous? Oh, he's 26 years old. That sucks. What do you mean that sucks? He's so successful. Oh, so you get jealous? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You go through that age where you're like, I could probably still be an All Black if I really put my mind to it. Yeah, and then you hit, you're like mid-30s. And then you're like five years older than the oldest All Black. You're like, maybe my time's passed. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I couldn't make it.

Yeah. So here's a Netflix documentary. Yeah. Coming out called How I'm Feeling Now, talking about all sorts of things, music obviously being one of them, but also his struggles with anxiety and mental health, which he says have intensified along with his success,

which I think is why he tries to keep himself so down to earth, right? Yeah. It's like fame is not for him. He just wants to be a musician. Anyway he shared that he once went on a one night stand classic. A one night stand. A classic did you

just say? A classic one night stand Those were the days Shout out to all the honeys in the heart. Lucky fellas out there Yeah the lucky fellas in the heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you? It's been a while.

Forgot your name. Anyway, he was at this one-night stand and he said that he got so anxious he had a panic attack and he had to call his mum to come and rescue him from this one-night stand. So his mummy pulled up to this woman's house. Is this when he was Louis Capaldi or was this pre the fame? Slightly pre but like happening. Yeah.

And his mum his mother was the one who told the story and he was like oh my God what are you doing? Stop. Stop. Yeah. But anyway I wanted to put it out to our people, put it out to the people, when your parents had to come and rescue you. I love when parents get

a call from overseas and there's nothing they can do. Oh, I did that. That would be a nightmare as a parent getting a call from a panicked child when they're overseas. Because they're in Thailand at a full moon party. Oh my God! Mum! I once called my mum

because I did the classic. I was in Paris and trying to get to Thailand and I couldn't find the counter for Thai Airways. And I was like, where the hell is it? And time was getting on and I called mum and she was like, what airport are you at? And I wasn't at Charles de Gaulle. I was at the other one. Oh yeah. Have you done? Yeah.

Paris has two airports. Oh yeah, there's quite a few. Bangkok's another one. Yeah. Yes. New York, yeah. Have you done, yeah. Paris has two airports. Oh, yeah, there's quite a few. Bangkok's another one. Yeah, yes. New York, LA, there's quite a few big cities. New York's got like three different airports. Multiple airports. Yeah. And I called my mum and she was like,

well, what would you like me, what part would I play in this? Get your ass in a taxi. She did help you, though. She did save you. She did save me. Yeah. She did save me indeed.

So we want to know when your parents rescued you. Maybe they had to come and pick you up from somewhere when you got into a bit of me. Yeah. She did save me indeed. So we want to know when your parents rescued you. Maybe they had to come and pick you up from somewhere when you got into a bit of trouble. Yeah. Maybe you fell asleep outside of Glassons on Lambton Quay and Dad had to come pick you up. Hayley Jane Sproul, outside the flagship Lambton Quay Allen Steins.

Maybe. I'm just saying maybe theoretically that happened to you and Dad had to drive. How old were you? Find you. 18. Too old. I can dad had to drive. How old were you? Find you. 18. Too old. I can't wait to begin.

But that's... Operation move to jungle. The stories are better though when you are in your 20s or 30s and your parents have to come and rescue you because you're an adult now. You should be doing that. Yeah, maybe you're in your 30s

and you've got like kids and every now and then you need mummy and daddy to rescue you. All right. 0800, Darls at Emerson number. you can text as well, 9696. When, like Lewis Capaldi, did your parents have to rescue you? We want to know when your parents had to come to the rescue.

Lewis Capaldi, his mum in his documentary has admitted that she had to rescue him from a one-night stand. Yeah, he had a panic attack, called his mum, she came and got him. That's what parents are for. Yeah. You don't turn off being a parent once they turn 18, do you? That's what my nana always used to say. It's for life. When she'd drop my dad off as weekly baking.

Oh my god, dad. Yeah. Some text messages and I ran out of gas and my dad had to come rescue me with the petrol from the lawnmower. So dad had to siphon the gas out of the lawnmower. So dad had to siphon the gas out of the lawnmower. Is it the same petrol? Yeah. Is it?

Yeah, if it's a four-stroke lawnmower, it is. But if it's a two-stroke and you're pre-mixing your petrol with your oil... It's not the same. It's not going to be the same, no. You've got to be careful there.

Somebody else said, my mum had to fly to Thailand to help get me home after I broke my neck What? Understandable International rescue that one Breaking the neck

A very serious thing But how did you break it? Yeah but if I was mum I'd want at least Four days in Phuket first Yes Get a bit of shopping done Yeah get a bit of shopping done

Pop down to Koh Phangan Yeah get a couple of rubs Maybe a night in Bangkok On the way back Oh yeah for the food Koh San Go down Koh San Oh yeah so nice panang curry.

No, go down Kosan Road. There's no place for mum. She's a classy lady. Mum loves Kosan Road. She loves a cheek pad tie and a balloon. Oh, my gosh, she does. A nang with your pad tie. Nang with your pad tie, bucket of bloody tequila.

Yum. Way she goes. And then mum's bloody going to need, she's going to fall over after all these nangs. Dad's going to have to come and rescue you. He's going to want to have a little visit to the bars. Keep your texts coming in. 696.

He doesn't need to be unleashed. We are wanting to hear stories of when your parents have saved you, rescued you as an adult. Because Lewis Capaldi had to get his mum to save him from a bad date because he had a panic attack on a one-night stand. Sarah, who came to the rescue? Mum? Yes, my mum.

Where did she save you from? A catfish date that I went on. What? Wait, what? So more detail, please. More detail. So I was 21, and I was on a dating app and went out with a guy.

He ended up being probably 15 years older than I was expecting him to be. Were the photos his younger photos or just of someone else? Oh, right, okay. Yeah, it was definitely him just 15 years younger. Less abs, 15 years later. Now, did you have like a secret code word for mum or did you just message her secretly during the date? I just went to the bathroom, messaged her

and then she showed up 10, 15 minutes later in tears at the restaurant and said that my dad was in a car accident and in critical condition. Oh my God, Sarah! Sarah, mum is now attempting fate to rip dad from your life. Jesus!

Wait, so then you had to say. Wait, so mum took this as a sort of a theatrical performance. Oh, my God. It wasn't enough to just be like, let me drop her into character. This is something Sarah would do. This is something Hayley would do if she was a mum. I'm sorry, darling. I need to tell you something terrible.

Mum, what's happened? It's your father. Oh, no, dad. Not dad. He's been in a terrible car accident. Oh, we've got to go to the hospital now. I'm sorry, sir. Oh, my God. Oh, no, Dad. Not Dad. You've been in a terrible car accident. We've got to go to the hospital now. I'm sorry, sir. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So it worked. What, did you just leave with your mum? Yeah, I just left with my mum. And he was like, I'll take the bill. Don't worry.

You just go. And she got a free dinner. And you were like, oh, you're putting up the bill. Can I get a pudding to go? Get a pudding to go. Slice a bit off your pie. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so good. Sarah, thank you. Can I get a pudding to go? Get a pudding to go. Slice a bit off your pie.

Oh, God, that's so good. Sarah, thank you. Larissa, when did the parents have to come to the rescue? So I was in my late teens, and I was driving home from school, and I noticed this, you know, like a little light on my dashboard, and that was an exclamation mark. And I was like, oh, you know, like a little light on my dashboard and that was an exclamation mark and I was like, oh, you know, like this was real bad. So I like called my

dad in a panic and I was like dad, you know, like my car's breaking down what do I do? You've got to come pick me up and he's like oh, yeah you know, just turn your handbrake off. Oh my god. A handbrake is the exclamation mark. Have you ever done that where you're driving along

and you're like, why is it so slow at the moment? It's really slow. But I also decided I needed to top up the oil in my car one day and I had a four litre bottle of oil, so I was putting it in and it just kept taking it. I was like, man, my oil is really low. And I checked the dipstick and it was way over. And I was like, oh, she'll be right.

So I started driving down the road and it just was fluttering. Was that a blop, blop, blop, blop? The sound of a drowning car? It was, it was. So I had to call my brother and he came and had to drain the oil. Yeah. Your car's like, blop, blop, blop. Where had you put it?

Just overflowed it. No, the oil just sits in the bottom. Yeah, it just overflowed it no he's yeah the oil just sits in the bottom yeah just keep taking it so i was like oh it must be real thirsty you know you always do you know the dipstick on that it's always right at the end it's the last couple of inches you know who's a real stick this chick yeah it was like 10 centimeters over the max light. Oh, my God. Oh, Larissa. Your poor car. Larissa, thank you for your call. Aaron, you had to have the parents rescue you? Actually, it was my best mate who needed rescuing. And from a date, well, but pretty different circumstances.

So, basically, my friend was quite well known to frequent Tinder and showed up to a date in Titirangi which is you probably all know where that is for those that don't know West Auckland Posh it's lush, it's leafy it's posh

it's damp and as he's kind of pulled in the driveway, he started to kind of wheel spin a bit and kind of careered off the driveway a little bit. But, you know, as you open the door sometimes to check what you're doing, he's opened the door and then slid in and locked the door open against the bank. Oh, yeah, okay.

But now he's got the... Now he's blocked the driveway of his potential one-night stand with the door wedged open. Oh, dear. It's raining. He thought, no, he's going to carry on. He's run over. He's ripped the barbecue cover off her barbecue,

covered up his door, gone inside and, you know, showed up, did the good deed and his parents had to come in and tow his car in the morning before work. Oh my god. That's embarrassing. That's so embarrassing.

As a parent in that situation, do you ask who lives here? What's going on? Is this the... He didn't tell her until the morning. Until they got there, he just carried on and... So he was so desperate for action with this woman, he just put a barbecue cover over the wide open

door and left it and damp, as we established, damp tuturangi for the night. Very moist. A lot of possums there too. Oh yeah, they go crazy. They would absolutely love a car, wouldn't they? Somewhere to West Auckland, I just thought of. Yeah. Aaron, thanks for go crazy. They would absolutely love a car, wouldn't they? Wow. I saw it at West Auckland, I just thought. Yeah. Aaron, thanks.

You call some messages in. My mate and I hooked up with these guys, didn't realise the next morning that they'd actually taken us back to one of their mum's houses. We got my mum to pick us up, but we didn't know the address, only the general area. So mum drove over. You drop a pin, right?

You drop a pin. Maybe mum didn't know. This might have been You drop a pin. Maybe mum didn't know how to receive the pin. This might have been before dropping a pin. My mum drove around beeping the horn on the car and we'd say,

yes, it's louder, it's getting louder, keep coming that way. No, no, mum, you must have gone past the street. And then she found us and we were hiding on the other side of the fence

and we jumped over and jumped in the car and mum took us home. A bit of Marco Polo, basically. Yeah. Wow. A bit of Marco Polo, basically. Yeah. Wow. A bit of Marco Polo after a bit of bloody Marco Polo. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners.

You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.