ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 20th October 2022

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Chocolate Crimes! Top 6: Advent Calendars  Gym Debate  Strange Punishments  Chris Parker!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. And I saw a news story which reminded me of Vaughan's early days. This is like going way back, Hayley. Somebody in the South Island has been caught with cardboard license plates. Oh yes, ice cream license plates are my choice.

Yeah. And what was your font? Hand. Block vivid hand. Block vivid hand. Why did you do that? I had a scooter. I won a scooter when Fletch and I first started working together,

but it was never registered. Yeah. It had never been properly registered. And so I was driving it, and then someone was like, you need plates. And I was like, yeah. And I kind of semi looked into it, but it was hard work. So I just made some. Right.

I just put some random letters. For a while until I went through a police stop and he's like, oh, hello. What happened to your actual plate? I said, it got stolen. And he said, do you remember what it was? And I was like, no. Wait, so you just made up numbers? Yeah, and he said, well, you need to sort this out.

And I was like, okay. And so then he gave me a fine and he said, you get off that easy peasy, just get those new number plates. So then I had to get new number plates and I did. And you got off the fine. Yeah, just like that. In the interim, you had fake made up cardboard. For years.

For years? Oh, dude, for three years. I thought you meant for like a few weeks. No, no, no, for ages. Vaughan's scooter days, I don't know how he survived. Dude, I fell off. I used to scooter in jandals and like, in shorts and jandals. Oh, my God, that's so bad.

Yeah, it was mad. You were skidding yourself. It was mad. One time I fell off. I hit a white line when it had been raining, and I skidded to a stop, and Aucklanders just drove around me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was, like, when I wasn't in Auckland,

hadn't been in Auckland for too long, and I was like, wow, it is true what they said about these pieces of shit yeah that live in this city yeah they don't care a-holes yeah wow you what a bad boy what a what a lawbreaker yeah so what was this the person with cardboard place was that legit like their number and everything but it was just cardboard is that illegal the car was stomped into needon um and the uh police have said it was a 54 year old male who'd previously been disqualified from driving, and the police are quoted as saying, he's taken the initiative and it's failed. We've seen through it.

Right. The vehicle was impounded, so I think he must have, yeah, made up a number plate, but used cardboard and, like, a vivid. Oh, my God. A little bit on the nose there. A little bit obvious. Like, at least steal someone else's plates, right? Whoa, no, no, no, no.

No, no, don't suggest that. Go out and steal some plates. No, I said go out and register and get proper plates and register your vehicle. Oh, okay. Sorry, I misheard you. Yeah. I thought you said just go out and steal someone else's plates. I'm going to say if you're going to break the law.

I'm sorry. Am I hanging out with a couple of lawbreakers? A couple of badass motherfuckers. Let's open here. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Heartbreakers? Couple of badass motherfuckers! Open here! Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Did someone win Lotto?

Yeah. Someone won it. 16 mil. Where did they buy the ticket? They haven't said. They haven't checked mine. Is it on the app? I've got two in the game here.

Well, why don't you check it now? I don't have the app. I know. You can scan your ticket with the app. I on the app? I've got two in the game here. Well, why don't you check it now? I don't have the app. I know. You can scan your ticket with the app. I do have the app. But the ticket's not on the app. Wellington. Oh, was it? That's my marching syndicate. That's where we get out. Sorry.

Tonight's winner is the second big prize to be struck. Oh, no, that was, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I think it was Wellington. That was the syndicate in Wellington that won the last big one. No, it was a syndicate. The syndicate who live from the bottom of Auckland's North Shore to the Northland border are in different stages of their lives. That was the last one.

Oh, right, that was the last one. $16 million Wellington ticket wins. Yeah, that's a Wellington ticket. It is Wellington. Well, there you go. I might have my little finger in the pie. How many people in your syndicate, though? Way too many.

Where do they buy them? We're going to trim the fat welly. Yeah, we're about some Wellington. No, it was sold on MyLotto. So it was sold on the app, but the person is registered to be a Wellington resident. Our one was a physical ticket this week. Okay, so you're not winning. Okay, I'm going to read the numbers out and you tell me if we won.

Line one. Okay. One, eight, eleven, fourteen, twenty- 14, 26, 35, Powerball, nine. None of those. Line two. There's like 15 of these guys. Buckle up. Why don't I read out the numbers?

Okay. 10, 12. Hang on, you're going too fast. Yeah. Which one did you want me to go back to? 10, 12, 17, 25. It's not looking good at this stage, I'll say. Also, by the way, watch out, Sonia Gray.

Are you even hearing me read these numbers? Yeah, it's beautiful. Next out, rolling down the cage, 30. And tonight's sixth ball, of course, if you get this one, you win the first division. See how I say stuff like this all the time. Say 39, say 39. 32. Far out. Okay, Powerball, sixth ball. Of course, if you get this one, you win the first division. See how I say stuff like this all the time. Say 39, say 39. 32. Far out.

Okay, Powerball, say nine. And if you're after the second division or one of those other real stink prizes where you think you've won lotto because it goes ding, ding, ding, ding at the machine when you check it, but it's just a little amount, the bonus ball is 23. Now, I've got a scandal to share. I went to the supermarket on Monday and I saw a radio host on a different

show across the hall checking a lotto ticket and I heard, and how much had they won? I don't know, I was leaving. Oh, it could have been like someone in radio. Fifth division. Someone in radio. Won lotto. Yeah.

But how much? I don't know. But maybe with all that new money, their food will become very flavoursome. Oh, okay. They might be the winner.

They might not. You know what they say about, my money, mo Peru problems. I think we've worked out who that was, Ed. Well, we'll just walk over the... Shit, Mike Peru loves a gamble, though. That guy loves a... Walk over the iHeartRadio lounge and ask him how much he won.

I will say, the next... Get a loan. The last two mornings, no sign of the guy. Oh, shit. Oh, I'm saying. You think he's won and he's run away? All I'm saying is I saw him put in the ticket.

He had a smile on his face and I heard that. Okay. And I haven't seen him since. Wow, a bit of scandal here at NZ May. Love it. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six with Christmas fast approaching. Yeah.

We were just talking about the targeted advertising for adults' Advent calendars. Yeah, 65 days away. So I've got the top six adult Advent calendars I haven't seen, but I'd quite like to see. You always get advertised a gin one. Yeah. Mmm. Yum. Gin a day, baby.

Gin a day keeps the doctor away. I don't know if that's a thing. That's the truth. No, I don't know if that's the thing. That's the truth. No, I don't know if that's the thing. Because the doctor keeps saying you've got to stop drinking gin, otherwise you can't come here. Next on the show, somebody's made quite a bit of money.

Yeah, it's Mike Perreault. No, from some old technology. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. We're being accused of a crime. And this is outrageous. The accusation maker, producer Anna. Hello.

I thought we were doing a nice thing this morning. Let me paint a picture. Yesterday, we had already left work, and then we all got an email saying there's something in the mailroom for the three of you actually. For the three of you that email said. Wow, that's humbling. What's the name of this? Fletch Forden? Hayley. For the three of you. There's something in the mailroom

for the three of you. Now you may remember on Friday we ranked our favourite Whittaker's blocks. The big blocks. We did. And so the lovely people at Whittaker's sent. Yes. The big blocks. We did. And so the lovely people at Whittaker's sent us all of our favourite blocks. And Fletch, you came and picked it up. Well, I was going to the mail room to pick up a personal item.

No, you're not allowed personal items at work, are you? No, no. That also makes it sound filthy. Yeah, gosh. My Satisfyer Pro 2. Yeah. Get that delivered to work. I was coming in to get my Satisfyer Pro 2 and all these other things I'd ordered.

Bells and whistles and plugs and chains and all sorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Extra batteries and stuff. Did you get that solar charger? I got the solar charger for the Satisfyer Pro. For when you're camping? Yeah. When you're camping.

Exactly. And that saddle? Saddle. Did you get the saddle? Yeah, of course I did. I'm glad that's finally arrived. Yeah. COVID delays.

And so I said in the group chat, I said, well, I'll just pick up the sort of Whitaker's package. Yeah, why course I did. I'm glad that's finally arrived. Yeah. COVID delays. And so I said in the group chat, I said, well, I'll just pick up the sort of Whittaker's package. Yeah, why not? Yeah. So you picked it up and you sent us a photo, and there were tons of them, because they sent us every single one that we mentioned we liked. Now, it would now be a good time to say that at the moment,

people are struggling to find some Whitaker's flavours in stores because of the success of, and I said already a top five Whitaker's flavour for me, Hazella. Hazella. So the Hazella blocks are made on the same production line as all of the rest of the chocolates. So because of the demand of Hazella,

they're making more Hazella, meaning there's less of the other flavours at the moment. But also because people are going to the supermarket to get Hazella. There's no Hazella, so then they're just buying all the other flavours. So here. But also because people are going to the supermarket to get Hazella. There's no Hazella so then they're just buying all the other flavours. So here's the picture that we were sent yesterday. Three blocks of coconut

block, which we, that's mine and Vaughan's number one. Oh sorry, no, number two after berry biscuit. There's one block of that. There's a jelly tip, which is honestly just embarrassing. And a white chocolate, which is quite embarrassing, and a hazella. So that's... All my favourite flavours.

Seven blocks of chocolate we were sent. Something in the mail room for the three of you, Hi Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, please enjoy this selection of chocolates. Now that's quite clear who it was sent to. So on average, if there was seven blocks of chocolate and three of us, that is two and a third blocks of chocolate each. Explain to me why I haven't put my hand on

a single block and there's one left. Now, this is the issue, is Fletch took them home, you see. Why did you take home? I took the whole package home because I didn't want anyone stealing them. No, but you said you were going to bring them in for the rest of us. And what's actually happened is three blocks are gone. So you're right there. So he's taken two thirds more of a block than he's entitled to.

Then he is. He's taken jelly tip, hazella and white chocolate. And then just casually, the best flavours. He put the three coconut blocks in the berry biscuit on the table. So there were three coconut blocks

indicating that one coconut block should go to each participant. No, because I never said during final rankings that I like coconut. They're trying to win you over with coconut. They might be, but...

And look, very casually, before you arrive, Vaughn, and you're late, and that's your prerogative. You can do whatever you want. I can. You were very late today. Very late. Roller gate wouldn't open. I grabbed myself a coconut block, which is one of my favourites,

and the berry biscuit, because there was only one. Someone's going to take it home, leaving two blocks of coconut. So you have two blocks, one third less than what you're... You've got three blocks, two thirds more. Why is there still only one block left? Well, here's the issue with the producers. Oh, so that's why the producers have stolen it.

No, because they've come in and said... Karween just simpered. She just simpered a block of chocolate. What is the crime, Anna, that you're accusing us of? The crime here. Firstly, there's two issues at play because... I haven't touched... For once, Vaughan, you cannot be in trouble, okay?

You can be removed from this. I'll take a leave of absence. There's two issues at play, and I will say the first one is that this is a group chat that the three of us are not in. Wow. Oh, yeah. No. But I know for a fact you've got a producer's chat that we aren't part of.

And we exclusively use it for when you're being really annoying. Okay? That is only reserved for special occasions. Yeah, that's what our chat's for. Only special occasions. So I take umbrage with the fact that we have to listen about your bloody journey to health 47,000 times a day, and then there's group chocolate being passed around. And we've snapped it all up.

And you've snapped it all up like little piggies. So you've come in this morning. You've got a block. What are you whining about? Yeah, but now Vaughn is short. No, but I don't need because I'm on a journey. You're on a journey now. Dude, I'm shocked.

The minute that opened, it'd be gone. And I couldn't tell you how I did it. You'd wake up. You'd put it in your mouth. But I do a row at a time. Yeah. Easy. What a waste of time. It'll save me getting up and getting more because I do something like really

token, like I'll open it and then pass it to Shannon and say, put that at the other end of the couch. So you have to make an effort to get it. But then I just walk up and be like, crack, row at a time, row at a say put that at the other end of the couch. So you have to make an effort to get it but then I just walk up and be like crack, roll at a time, roll at a time, roll at a time and it's gone. Yeah, same. It's dangerous. Well look producers, like Fletch here has taken the Big Daddy fill. I've

claimed what I'm happy to take and you've been left with two delicious coconut blocks. None of which are our favourite but that's okay, we appreciate it. What would you have preferred? A hazella. There was only one hazella. I don't know if you've heard there's a shortage.

No, there's not a shortage of hazella. And that shortage extends to the producer's booth. Wow. Savage. I deny these allegations. I'm going to eat it all. I said I'm going to take it away because we're going away with friends this weekend. Fletch should be charged with turning his hazella block

into some hazella brownies that somebody messaged in about that. Oh, yeah. And bring them in next week. Yeah. Don't do that to us. I don't know if we've mentioned this. I ate brownies. For the first time on air, we're on a journey to hell.

I ate brownies a row at a time too. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there Advent calendars. You know, we've been spotting them for a little while now. If you follow our other segment

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. But we asked them to get targeted advertising for adults Advent calendars. Quite heavy on the booze. I love this. I love this. 65 days away from Christmas too. Yeah, fun little Advent calendars. Quite heavy on the booze as per us. I love this. 65 days away from Christmas too. Yeah, fun little advent calendars. I've got the top six adult advent calendars we need in 2022 that I haven't seen yet.

Okay. Number six on the list, a 24-day adult advent calendar of lawn care. Yeah, I'm talking fertilizers. I'm talking about a seed to thicken out your thin bits of lawn. Yeah, little'm talking fertilizers. I'm talking a bit of seed to thicken out your... Right. You know, your thin bits of lawn. Yeah, little snippers. Yeah, for trimming around the edges. Maybe stretching to fill all of those calendar boxes?

Nah, just every second day would be a bit more furt. Okay. A bit more furt on there. Maybe just a couple of boxes of topsoil. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because everyone's got a divot. Everyone's got a divot, yeah. Yeah, and the last day's a massive roller.. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because everyone's got a divot. Everyone's got a divot, yeah. Yeah, and the last day

is a massive roller. A huge, huge roller. It's empty. You fill it with water and then roll your own lawn. Beautiful idea. Number five on the list of the top six adult advent calendars

we need in 2022. A make your own well kit. Everyone talks about them all the time. Oh, I must get onto that. But they don't. But then... You've had your well, mate.

You've got a personal lawyer, don't you? I do have a personal lawyer. Well? Yep. Well, it's not watertight. I mean, it should do. Close enough. If my children decide to absolutely go to town on each other for, you know,

someone who wants more than half of what I'm worth. Which is why I plan to die bankrupt. Yeah. Yeah, spend it all. You don't hear about families, you know, getting pulled apart when dad dies and, you know, there's no money left, do you? But when there's a big chunk of cash left, families self-destruct. So I'll die bankrupt. You'd be saving your family by spending all that money.

It's a good idea. A really good idea. It's a solid plan. Number four on the list of the top six adult advent calendars we need in 2022. 24 days of soft close hinges. Oh, like when you slam the cutlery drawer and it doesn't slam?

You can't slam it. God, those drawers are great. I've got sliding doors with those. Oh, yeah. You flick them and they go Oh, yeah. Or just the cupboard door, you open it, you're like, nope, not what I want. Flick it shut and it goes. God, it's so crude when you use a toilet, eh?

And you've got to flip the lid and it's not soft close. I've got one of those too, yeah. It's so good. I've got a soft close. Soft close toilet. Yeah, same. Although my lid on the toilet has become un-soft close. Hard close.

And that's slammy now. Can you re-soft close a hard close soft close? I don't know. Can you just tighten it so it closes softer? Have you tried tighten? I don't think you can. You've got to get the screws in there. No, you have to take the whole toilet off to unscrew the toilet seat.

Oh, for God's sake, no. Oh, this is a bougie toilet. Yeah, soft close everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. And there's 24 days of soft close. Hinges and slides. There might even be a toilet. Yeah, beautiful. Everything. And there's 24 days of soft clothes. Hinges and slides.

There might even be a toilet. Yeah, beautiful. Toilet soft clothes in there. Number three on the list of the top six adult advent calendars we need for 2022 are high-quality cleaning products. The expensive ones that you're always looking at in the middle of one day, but not today. Yeah. The grocery bill's already climbing on this supermarket. I'm just going to go for old reliable, old cheapy.

Yeah. But like a nice sort of Danish oil for the floor. Jesus, what? A Danish oil? Yeah, like a gorgeous woody roll. I'm going to stick to my $2 warehouse spray. Whatever's in that, it works. A sterling silver scrub.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, high-end end All natural Cleaning products Number two on the list Of the top six Adult advent calendar I guess He's had a stroke

The top six Adult advent calendars Were made in 2022 Every day A different memory From the 1990s Oh yeah nice One day you might open it

and it's a movie you haven't thought about in ages that you watched when you were a kid next day could be an album

that was big in the 90s that you haven't listened to I like this next day could be a slinky yeah something to fidget with next day a smell

for example it could be jupe oh I love a bit of jupe jupe I nearly messaged you the other day because I smelt someone at the gym. You smelt jupe? I smelt jupe and I was like, Vaughn, will I really appreciate this jupe scent? I love smelling jupe in the wild.

It's like, it's just... Who? And then you look around and you're just... Retire jupe. Retire it. I almost think jupe is resurge jupe. No, retire it. It was a hot scent, man.

I remember there was a little tester. Remember last week I talked about how much I stole as a kid? Yeah. I stole one. A Joop. Yeah. Wow. CK1 Joop.

There was a black and white Hugo Boss as well. I lost a CK1. It's simple. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's a timeless classic. And number one on the list of the top six adult advent calendars we need in 2022. Dillies, that's all.

Thank you for participating in today's Tom Sacks. Wow. This morning, I actually woke up at 3.30. You would have enjoyed it, Vaughan. There was a house being moved down my street. Oh, yay. I don't mind a bit of that. For that show, was it the show that the Prime Minister's partner does,

Clark Gaifert? I didn't see Clark out there. Okay. But we did poke our nose out the window. It was a nice big sort of, I'd say 20s, maybe 30s bungalow. Was it getting taken away or put down? It looked like it was arriving, but it was a strange time, 3.30, so surely it's being taken.

But then I tried to drive around the streets of my little township this morning. To see. To see where it had gone or where it had been taken from. I couldn't find it. So it's gone. And why would it be coming down my street? Yeah. It's a weird access way.

Bright lights and... Yeah, and then just like all the big orange flashing lights. Yeah, yeah. It was good fun. But anyway, I stayed awake from 3.30 until my alarm went off. And somehow, even though I was awake, I was still snoozing because it's a habitual thing. So my alarm goes off at 4 and then I give it a 4.10, a 4.15, a 4.20,

a 4.30, a 4.35. By 4.35, I really got to get moving. Yeah. But see, why don't you just set one alarm for 4.30 and get up? Because it doesn't work like that. It does because that's what I do every day. I have one alarm, I get straight up. But I'm not as good as you at getting up.

Right. It's a punish every morning. But I'm like, oh, my God, I would murder for 10 more minutes. Yeah. And so I do. I play with the devil and it's been getting worse and worse as we get closer and closer to Christmas. Like, you know, your body's like, come on. Yeah. Nearly at the end of the year. I've been snoozing. as we get closer and closer to Christmas. Like, you know, your body's like, come on.

Yeah. Nearly at the end of the year. I've been snoozing. I've been getting up at like 4.30 some mornings. Still here before Vaughan though. Everyone is here before Vaughan. But you shower in the morning. I don't.

Yeah, I shower in the morning. And today, you know what? Eight and a half years we've been doing this, I finally saw the motorway speed sign change from 100 to 80. Like at actual click over. When does it do that? Well, so I've worked it out. Yeah.

That on your iPhone, because you know how iPhones all get their time from the same internet source, right? So if you like say to your friends that time on an iPhone and they've got an iPhone, like just internet devices. Well, it's the time. The time, yeah. So it goes 5.30 on my little display in the car. Yeah. And then that's when I know it's time to start looking at the signs.

Now, yesterday I was driving. This has been a project of mine ongoing for a couple of months. I try to really, because I was like, oh, 5.30, I looked, nothing changed. And then I looked down and I looked back up and it had changed. I was like, it must happen just after 5.30. Okay. So yesterday I was like in the perfect spot. My clock went 5.30.

I was underneath two different signs. So I squinted because my eyes aren't great to see it. And it said 100. And then the car behind me flashed its lights. And I looked in my rear view mirror. I was like, what? And then I looked back and it had changed. So I missed it.

Because you were going too slow. Probably. Yeah. Because you do crawl, you do crawl. Well, the chimney's a little speed machine, but it'll go anywhere. And then today, it was like 5.30. I was like, perfect.

And I looked up and I saw it and it was like 10 seconds later, it went click and it turned from 100 to 80. Is that so because it slows you down for traffic, right? It's because that's the identified time is when traffic starts getting a bit heavier. So slow it down on average and ride. Wow.

Yeah, so that's pretty cool. I saw it. Was it? Was that cool? It was pretty much my Northern Lights, you know? Wow. It was my Aurora Borealis. You've seen them.

Wow. It was my Haley's Comet. Yeah. Beautiful. And I am Haley. Yeah. You are. If there's anyone in this room that's a Haley, it's you, mate.

Yeah, it's not Haley. Yeah, it's not Hayley. Well, I'm not alone in the snoozing. 60% of people are habitual snoozers. I would have thought it was higher than that, to be fair, according to this study out of Notre Dame. Ooh. They built that. Well, he snoozes because he's got a really prick in his neck.

Is that the one that burnt down? Yes. Yeah. The University of Notre Dame's not. Oh, that's not Notre Dame. That's somewhere else. This is Indiana. Oh, Indiana's got a Notre Dame.

Okay. So, yeah, 60% of people are chronically snoozing. Not alone. Yeah, not alone. A lot of alarms being set. There's a sleep study space in a place in Wellington, eh? Yeah. Remember we went there?

And you go in this room. It's at Massey. It's at Massey University. Wellington, eh? Yeah. Remember we went there? It's at Massey. It's at Massey University. Yeah, Massey Sleep. And they were like, fascinating. Yeah. You go in this room and they're like, click, and they shut it, and it's just dead silence. Too silent for me.

Way too quiet. Like, suspiciously quiet. Way too quiet for me. Like, the world could be ending outside and you've got no idea, sort of quiet. You're snoring away. Yeah. I have such an anxious sleep in there.

It's too quiet. Too quiet, yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Little aware that we are mentioning our journey to health almost as much as that time Hayley went to Bali. Bali was beautiful. You've got to go to Bali.

You've been, haven't you? You've got to go to Bali. But if we're suffering Everybody should have to suffer This is sort of a group project We're doing a lot of the heavy lifting We're doing really well Doing well though Proud of everybody

On their journey to health Yep Thank you But it was yesterday After the show I said oh it was annoying At the gym Because I wanted to use a machine

And people at the gym Will know this And someone had left A towel and a drink bottle On this machine But they were using Another machine And going between them. It's like your personal jam.

Yeah, and I said, who does that when it's busy? You just stay on one machine and then just deal with it. Absolutely. And then Vaughan Smith has the sheer audacity. I don't machine often, to be honest. I'm a cardio guy. Yeah, you love that. I love cardio.

I hate it. The weights are so boring. No, it's so good. One, two, three, four, five. The way you're doing it, you need to put some heavier. God, I wish I was at ten. Eight, nine, ten. Now what do I do?

Another one. You know why? It's because you literally just press play on your iPad. Zone out. Zone out and then you're like done. And run and watch. Yeah. So, but there is this machine thing, I guess, that yesterday I hogged the end of.

Yeah. It's the one where you can sit down and you pull the weights down onto you. Yeah. I don't know the name of any of these things, by the way. It's a lat pull down. But it's like a cable machine. Yeah. You can probably see.

You walked in this morning. Yeah, you said to me. And I said, g'day, Lats McGee. Yeah, yeah. You can probably see that's already buying dividends. That one's got one of those there, and then 90 degree to that guy, you hold a rope and you pull it down. Tricep pull.

Tricep pull, and then around the other side, there's like a seated row thing. And I was just like, there's not a lot of people there. I might just dominate this whole area. So I just had all three machines on the go. You can't dominate the entire three stage machine. I did. I did.

I honked. No, you do one. You do a set on one and then you move to the next. Yes. Because you're one of those people. And do you leave a towel on the seat? I wanted to do a little loop. Circus.

Yeah, yeah. I leave my towel on the first seat. My drink bottle on the second. You're that guy. Don't be that guy. Yeah, I'm that guy. Because why, when you're doing this set, can someone else not be defending you? But there's another end of the machine, and there's lots of other things.

No, but it's rude. I just want these ones for now. It's etiquette. It's rude. Right. At your gym, speaking of gym etiquette, that's poor. That's poor etiquette. Do people take photos quite a lot in the mirror?

No, I don't see that too much. A lot of Les Mills would be like a water bottle on the floor and then like a phone up against it shooting the exercise. Are they filming themselves? Yeah, filming themselves. Who are they sending that to? Yeah, I don't know. The world.

The world. Are they putting it online or are they sending it to someone and being like, how's my technique? Yeah, we're doing a little filming session tomorrow, me and my PT. We're going to film some of my goals that I've been working up to. Okay. And we're going to film them and compare them. What are your goals that you've been working towards? A pull-up.

A pull-up. You know, women aren't made to do them. Sounds like an excuse to me. We don't have the same ability as me to do a pull-up. You want equality, mate? You want equality? Bloody pull yourself up on that bar. No. I'm going to do a pull-up. You know, women aren't made to do them. We don't have the same... Sounds like an excuse to me. We don't have the same ability as men to do a pull-up. You want equality, mate? You want equality? Bloody pull yourself up on that bar. I'm going to do a pull-up.

Okay, good. So that's what we're filming, and I've been filming myself over years doing pull-ups. We're going to film that tomorrow. We usually like to film a hip thrust. Don't know that I could go much more than 110 kgs. These things, there should be a special area in the gym for the hip thrust.

Yesterday, I walked around the corner, and I had a hip thrust right in the face. Right. My line of sight could have been I walked around and I was just, I need that thing, and I turn the corner and there's a, this, it is my, I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again, it is my worst nightmare to have someone from the gym say, hey, we've just had someone say that you kind of were looking at them.

I would never go back to the gym ever again. You don't want to look and you don't know where to look. You need to get around. The thrust is aggressive too. And you don't want to be in their video if you see someone videoing. Another time I saw someone hip thrusting, but it was like towards themselves and I was in the background. I was like, I've got to go around.

I can't look. But then I don't want to look like the guy in the background who's like really like making an effort not to be in the video because that makes you look even pestier. Yeah, when you're like, nothing to see here, nothing to see here. Yeah. We talked last week about all the, you know, the tech technology that we've got lying around our homes.

Oh yeah, there was enough. Just going to waste. Enough old iPhones to wrap around the equator. Really? That's bad. That's really bad. Well, the first iPhone from two, when do you think the first iPhone came out?

It was 2007. Damn it, you already know. No, well, yeah, I knew even before. I know. Yeah, I just always, I always remember getting, did we get the first, when did we get? No, we got iPhone 3's We got them at the same time in 2009

iPhone 3 was my first iPhone I think just after I finished uni But that was like 2010 or 2011 That I got there And now they're onto the iPhone 14 That's the one that just came out Well the first iPhone from 2007 Which was unopened

I don't know how it was unopened Probably from a shop that just didn't get sold I guess I saw something like this on Reddit recently 2007, which was unopened. I don't know how it was unopened. Probably from a shop that just didn't get sold, I guess. I saw something like this on Reddit recently. Somebody's granddad purchased a PlayStation 1 for them as a birthday present and put it in the ceiling, and then their grandfather passed away. And then just recently, the grandmother passed away, so they were packing up the whole house

and they went into the ceiling and found this original box, the PlayStation 1. How much would that have been worth? I don't know,

because the guy who found it just put it online and was just like, oh my God, what a story. Like, my granddad bought this for me

and it even had his name like, stuck on it. Oh, like, happy birthday. Yeah, but his granddad had passed away. Oh, that's so good. I know, so sad, eh?

Also, no, not sad. Thank you, granddad. Yeah, because granddad's probably just handed you a lot of money because the very first iPhone from 2007 in a box, not the first one, but one of the first produced, which was still sealed in its original packaging, just sold for more than an iPhone 14 Pro. Oh, so like thousands.

Oh, you're just collectors. 35,000 pounds. So 70 grand. 70,000 New Zealand dollars, yeah. That was what sold at the auction. Wow. And the box is humongous. Look at the box.

Silly, thick. What does the phone itself look like? Bubbly. You remember they were quite bubbly. They had the rounded edges. Yeah, the three was as well. And it kind of a, did it have kind of a thick booty? Yeah, it had a

real booty. It had a bubble back? Yep. Yes. Like it wasn't flat like that? Aaron had the 3 for so long. The 3 was a bit of a bit of a charger, bit of a machine. I think I was on to like the 5 or the 6 and he was still clicking around with a bubbly 3.

But yeah, good phones. Well, yeah, I don't know if many people have sealed original iPhones in a drawer somewhere, but if you do, they're worth some money. We should put out a call. A call for people to call us and tell us if they've got the oldest iPhone. Who's got the oldest iPhone in New Zealand that they're still using? Don't they like, I mean, they'll never admit to it, if they've got the oldest iPhone. Who's got the oldest iPhone in New Zealand that they're still using? I'm pretty sure they, don't they like,

I mean they'll never admit to it, but don't they like start bricking them from like. So they can't keep up with the updates. Yeah. So a three wouldn't work because of all the updates. But there'd be people with sixes. Yeah, the six was like the little clicky one. Yeah, I had a six for ages.

Yeah. All right. I'm just looking at the stats of it So it's Oh right That's how big the screen was Diagonally Oh

It was a 3.5 inch diagonal screen That's so tiny But so 3.5 3.5 inches to centimetres is 8.8 So just under 9 centimetres I've got a ruler on my It's like a TV, right? That's so tiny.

Look out, look out. It's like half. Yeah, but remember... It gets a bit to halfway. Before that, the coolest phone before an iPhone was the BlackBerry, right? And that screen was like tiny. Yes.

And you'd be like, click, click, click, click, click, click. Yeah. Do you remember when they started bringing out phones, when they started bringing out the new model and they weren't that much different and everyone got real, like, huffy. Yeah. And real pissy because they were like,

Because everybody really wanted to be able to, like, drive their car and stuff, eh? Remember- Everybody wanted huge step forwards in technology. Every time they went, you know, from three to four to five to six, there was always, like, a massive change in technology. And now it's just a bit faster. Faster.

Maybe like one millimetre bigger. Yeah. Remember when they brought out the big ones? What are the big ones called? The plus or whatever. The pros, yeah. The maxes. And then everyone was joking about being on the phone on an iPad.

And now you can't go back to a small phone. I know. When I hold a big phone, I'm always like, this is nice. I've got a little one. I've got a little one. iPhone, it went from iPhone straight to iPhone 3G. And it was called iPhone 3 because it could go on 3G, not because it was the third in the series.

I've got a question. You know now that we have 5G? Yeah. Are 4G and 3G just not working anymore? No, they're still there because you can drop back onto them. Because I know 4G's fine. 4G's fine. But when you go on 3G, you're like, was it this bad when we only had 3G?

It's terrible, eh? Was it that bad or is it worse now because we have 5G, you know? Because when I'm on 3G, I'm like, what? You couldn't send a picture or you couldn't download something? All the places that became 5G, I'm like, well, you couldn't send a picture or you couldn't download something? I think all the places that became 5G, I think they took the towers from there and put them on a couple of the old 3Gs. Right.

Yeah, I don't know. I think the 3G is pretty shit-ass at the moment too. Because I've got my foil blanket when I go past one of those 5G towers because I don't want it penetrating me. You've got that cute little cap. Are the 5G people still flapping gum? I don't know.

Are they still on about that? Are they still because, I mean, it's up now and no one's mind's been read? No. Do you remember during the pandemic people were trying to burn them down? Yeah, that was helpful. Thanks for that. You know, when everyone was saying communication was more vital than ever, it was good that you guys were trying to burn them down.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, we are a sausage-loving nation. We love a sausage. I love a sausage. Even the vegetarians love a sausage. Yeah, they stuff it full of... A pastel. Yeah.

They roll a pastel in dust and then they roll the dust in some bread, crumbs or cardboard, I'm not sure, and then they make a big deal about having that on a part of a grill that meat hasn't touched. One day a group of vegans are going to glue themselves to you and you're going to regret all of this, Chad. You know what, thanks to my

iron-rich blood, I'm going to be able to walk around and drag them with little to no resistance. Right. I'm just saying. Well, no, I was trying to include them by saying they love a sausage. I'm inclusive, if nothing else. Yeah.

An ally, if you will. Yeah, of course. Well, the Great New Zealand Sausage Competition has a winner. Well, winners. And this is where the controversy, well, controversy, or however you want to say that word, the C word, this is where it rears its ugly head. Because the winner, the winners, a pork sausage where it rears its ugly head, because the winner, the

winner is a pork sausage made by New World Tarapa. Okay. A pork sausage. Tick. Very traditional. Yeah, right. Anything in the pork? Exactly. I would have thought maybe I'm looking for an apple. I'm looking for a fennel. Or maybe both. Sage. Chili.

Yeah, chili. Why not? I mean, we're adding in extra things here. Pork and apple, yeah. But it's a very traditional sausage. Yeah, chili? Yeah. Yeah, sure. I mean, we're adding in extra things here. Pork and apple, yeah. But it's a very traditional sausage. Yeah. Sharing. First place. Oh, don't say chicken sausage.

A salami. No. It's not a sausage. A salami is a salami. That's a salami. A salami is a cured stick. A cured meat. That's the cured meat awards.

Also, any awards or anything, you have one winner. Just pick one. If it's down to two sausages. Have a sausage off. Just pick a sausage. I know. Flip a coin. You can't tell me that you can't differentiate between the two.

Also, it's not a sausage. Is that the controversy? Is that it's not a sausage? That's my controversy, is that I'm all for as many meat awards as we can possibly get. Please. Have you been ever asked to judge at a meat?

I haven't. Maybe it's because I'm a heart attack waiting to happen and they don't want that on their hands. I'd love to do the pie awards. Okay, no, I did just Google, is chorizo, because was it a salami or a chorizo?

It was a salami. Oh, because I put a salami or a chorizo? It was a salami. Oh, because I put chorizo. No, chorizo is a sausage. Yeah, because that's saying it's a type of sausage. Because it's a spicy sauce. Is salami a sausage? Typically made from pork or beef, salami is a type of cured sausage. But it's a cured.

It's cured. It's a cured meat. Because a sausage is raw. And it doesn't have to be in sausage formation. Yeah. Sausage formation. It could be like more of a cured meat. Because sausage is raw. And it doesn't have to be in sausage formation. Yeah. Sausage formation. It could be like more of a luncheon. That's like entering luncheon chub.

Where does the madness end? Dude, it might be entered, but it's never going to reach the top as a luncheon chub. It might if it's got peas and carrots in it. It's top ten in my heart. Get out. You're fucking trash. Children of the 80s, unite. You're with peas and carrots.

We were too poor to afford shaved ham. We had luncheon, but we just had plain luncheon. Yum. I just had like the memory of the taste in me. Did you used to fight over the end bit? Yeah, the nib. Yeah, the nib. The cluster.

Yeah. Love a chub. Love a luncheon chub. Love a luncheon chub. He loves a chub. And a sauce. But a salami is a salami But a salami is a salami. A salami is a salami.

The people will riot. A grueling week of grilling. Judges spend five straight days sorting sausages into categories. See, I would put the salami into the salami category and say sorry, the salami awards are next week. Or it's got to be cured. Surely there are some New Zealand salami awards. There's got to be New Zealand salami surely there are some New Zealand salami awards. There's got to be New Zealand salami awards.

Here's go New Zealand cured meat awards. By the way, this Te Rapa New World pork sausage just looks like a pork sausage. God, it's all, tell you what, it's taking me back to the New Zealand sausage awards, all of these, Google. It keeps leading you back to the sausage awards. Yeah, so they're, I mean, in the industry, it's obviously.

See, and this is the other thing, that this salami, which I'm not doubting is absolutely delicious and is available, it's made by Auckland's Zaroa Meats It's available at the Panao French Market Eww Must be nice I love that you said Zaroa as if it was a Maori

word, I don't think there's a Z here in the Maori language Do you reckon it'd be Zaroa? Zaroa Zaroa I love that you said zaroa as if it was a Maori word. I don't think there's a Z here in the Maori language. I was... Do you reckon it'd be zaroa? Zaroa. Zaroa. Zaroa. No, let's go with zaroa. No, I will point out the New Zealand Food Awards

have different categories for salamis and cured meats. Good. Yeah, well, thank you, because they know what's up. This salami has taken so much attention, we don't know who came second and third. Yeah. We don't know the top five sausages that we could, you know,

aim to endeavor to get on our barbecue this summer to be like, that is worthy. Yeah. We don't know now. That sucks. Because everybody's so... Because they're sitting on the fence

and choosing two winners. Oh, God. You know who I blame? Weep Bix for giving all the Kiwi kids a medal. Right. This is how it started. This is how it started. Exactly how it started.

Everyone wants to win now, you know? What happened to the losers? Nobody wants to lose. Nobody wants to lose anymore. All you've got to do is get out of bed and you win. You know what I mean? It's easy peasy. Yeah.

Try being a real champion. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I've got a problem with Hayley. What have I done now? We're about to air it on radio. No, it's just

you've got too many friends. Oh, so many. And really, like, everybody that you know is like a great friend. Like, Chris was just a great friend, Chris. So and so,

my great friend. Oh, so and so, my great friend. So and so, a very good friend. Is this because I mentioned that last night we were making friends? Yeah, and then last night when you went out for dinner, you were like, oh, we had the waiter each time when a different one came over, we had them five minutes. It was a British one and I think we're friends now. I'm like, leave them alone.

No, but we're just interested in people. It's because, oh, I just spat like a... I think it might have landed on your flinch. Thank you. It went a far way. Thank you. I've just lost a friend. There you go.

I'm culling as well. Yeah, have a cull. Have a cull. I don't know. We're just like interested in people and humans and just like making connections. You know what I mean? I don't know what it is,

but like the two of us love to chat and we're at the pub and our favourite waiter. And we always say, people always fight for us because they're like, you're our favourite punters. Because we're there so bloody often. Yeah, you were keeping that place afloat. You know what I mean? We are absolutely playing that.

Yeah, pre your journey to health, you were there every day. They told me off last time I was there because I looked at the smoker. I was interested to see, well, you'd probably be allowed to touch it. Yeah, probably. They let me off last time I was there because I looked at the smoker. I was interested to see, well you'd probably be allowed to touch it. Yeah, probably. They let me bring over my own meats. Just borrow some space on the smoker. But we were chatting to him because he's a pommy. He's a pommy. And then

Aaron was like, whereabouts are you from? And he said, oh I'm from Yorkshire or something and we were like, oh yeah, bloody hell. Oh no, I haven't been around there. Oh, I toured around and off we go. And we, like, honestly, the guy was standing there with our empty glasses. We were, like, chatting for 10 minutes. He's got to drive through.

There's glasses to clear. Yeah, I know. We talked all about England. He likes it because he gets to stay out of the kitchen for a bit. But there's tables to be served. People need their food. People need their drinks. We talked all about England and where we would like to go

and how Aaron would like to tour around England. Because, you know, it's, you know, part of the motherland for Aaron. Yeah. He's not just an Italian god. He's a British boy. And then our lovely waiter, Tom, he left. Tom, got a name. Jesus Christ.

We've got an app. I've got a note and I write down all the names of the staff at our favourite place because we want them to know by name. Taru guy, Tom, that's our guy. Young gal, Amber. Fun ginger guy, Henry. We love Henry. Oh, yeah, Henry's good.

I didn't know that was his name, but he is fun. Henry is good. He's very personable. I think he's doing for front of house. He's shooting for front of house. He's a new teenager. He's very good. We love him.

Pepper, funny girl. Anyway. You write their names down? Yeah, because I'm still remembering, and I'm wanting to remember so that we can be mates. And then he came back right with our drinks. And then we got talking about how Aaron wanted to start

an old British pub, like a year old. Like a tavern. Cock and ball. You know, like that thing. That's what they're always called. No, it's called the cock and ball. Oh, sorry. The cock and bull.

Yeah. Bull. Bull, yeah. Yeah, you said balls. No, I said bull funny Anyway We're just popping down To the CMB

Yeah And he wanted to start An old kind of style British pub And the guy said That's a great idea I think they were starting To brew a business together

Oh wow I know You do Yeah Is it not stressful Having so many friends I know Then he came back

With Pud And then he said to us how he's meeting his girlfriend's parents. And at this point I'm like, we've got friends left. Nice to see you, Tom. A bit of a handshake at the end. Oh, no!

No! You know me, I'm two visits away from the cuddle. I'm polite to staff. Yeah. I'm friendly. Shut up, James Corden. Yeah.

James Corden over here. There's a hair in my meal. I want all. Shut up, James Corden. I'm James Corden over here. There's a hair in my meal. I want all these drinks for free. I'm James Corden. I collect people along my life and I don't call them. But it's really, I can tell that stress has worn out. I know because. Because this is what, we've got two social functions we have to go do.

One, like a radio social function. Then a have you been paying attention social function Tonight, today, yeah And I know the minute I get to both Which is fine at the radio because I know It's fine, like I'll have you to talk to But at the other one There'll be people to talk to but I also like

Hayley will just go And just disappear and I'll be like God damn it and then I'll have to be like Hi everybody How's man Gosh, cameras eh and just disappear and I'll be like, ah, damn it, and then I'll have to be like, hi, everybody. How's, man? Gosh, cameras, eh? Yeah. How's that?

What are you doing now? You're not doing Auto-Q. Cool. Good stuff. Yeah. You're terrible at it. I mean, if you could call and sec to both of these events, you would. I 100% would and I'm still planning on how I'm going would. I 100% would. We're going to Uber in together

and he will abandon me, I reckon, 20 minutes before we need to leave and say, I'm not coming. And I'll be like, well, now I've got to sort my own Uber. I've invited you over for a Negroni with Spagliato. Yeah, that's the only reason. Might as well ask for a Negroni Spagliato and then go home, please. No, we're going in together. Anyway, I'm capping it.

No more friends. Do you hear me, nation? If you see me, don't be nice because I'll be nice back. And then you'll be friends. And then I'll give you a cuddle and then we're in and we're friends and you're invited to my wedding. We can't have it. I'm capping it.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about 96-year-old British physiologist Giles Brindley. Remind me what a physiologist does? Body stuff. He's also a musicologist and a composer. Wow.

Very interesting man. But the particular aspect about Giles, Giles? I think you say Giles. Did I call him Giles first? What a stupid fool. What a damn fool I am. Giles Brindley. him Giles first? You did, yeah. What a stupid fool. You are a stupid fool. What a damn fool I am. Giles Brindley.

You are a stupid fool. What a damn stupid fool. Giles Brindley. Well, the aspect of Giles Brindley I would like to talk about today involves a speech he gave in 1983 at the American Urological Association. Oh, is this problematic? He definitely wouldn't get away with it these days. We'll say that.

The main thing that was being discussed at the 1983 Las Vegas meeting of the American Urological Association was erectile dysfunction. Oh, okay. And it had been a big problem. He believed he had the solution. And to prove as such, he showed his results. Just before he took to the stage, he injected one mil

of phenoxybenzamine with five milligrams and ten mils of saline. He injected it straight into his little giles. His little giles. He then took to the stage.

Yeah. Began talking about how he believed he had a solution. Yeah. For rectus function. He said, and then he addressed

the crowd and said, five minutes before I took to the stage, I injected myself with the solution I believe to be the ultimate answer. Okay.

And then he said, and to prove it, and whipped down his trowel. And was he standing to attention? He was. Yes, sir. Full mast. Wow.

Sergeant Major, sir. Okay, so this was problematic. It was problematic. He certainly wouldn't get away with it today. I don't think anybody is going to get away with it at any time. Getting out. Whipping out a function. A function that is fully functioning.

He was, so if he was born in 1926, and this was in 1983, he's 54, 57. Okay. At this age. Too old to be getting out, you boy. Well, you know, well, that's ageist. On stage? No, on stage. Sorry, let me finish this sentence.

Oh, yeah. No, I'd say at any time is a bad time to get your wally out on stage if you're at a... So this is probably what he's most famously known for. And there's an article called How to Give an Unforgettable Talk. And this article was written for people who have to give medical presentations. Right. And talked about how often it's, you know, it's boring. Yeah. And you struggle to get your message across. Yeah, right. And people have these to give medical presentations. Right. And talked about how often it's boring and you struggle to get your message across and people have these predetermined ideas

and you've got to do the entertaining but also educating. And they use this as just an example. An example of what not to do. By the way, he is a knight. He's a serf. Really? So did his thing work?

Like was that? Yes, it did. But the problem was men didn't want to have to inject their put an injection straight into it. Especially not when you're about to. Because you do it just before each lovemaking scene. Well, he said five minutes. Yeah, five minutes and the right

thoughts. So how was that? Thoughts and prayers in it to get it on. Because Viagra was made by accident, wasn't it? It was made for heart medication. Anyone was getting stiff? Yeah. Because the idea was the ingredient opened up the blood vessels.

And less restriction of the heart. And that also opened up blood vessels in other places. Wow. And so yeah, they were all like reporting back about that. They were like, oh well maybe we're onto a money maker here. And the rest is history. Wow. And so, yeah, they were all like reporting back about that. And they were like, oh, well, maybe we're onto

a moneymaker here and the rest is history. Wow. Because that's so much easier than having to get a little injection in there. Yeah. And Giles,

you know, he did many other things. He was a pioneer in visual prosthetics. So like people with, you know, inner eye problems. Oh, yeah.

That was probably what he was most famously known for because through the 1960 what he was most famously known for because through the 1960s, he was a real field leader in it. But then in the 1980s, he pulled down his pants in Las Vegas and said, look at my stiffy.

He lost a few people then. You know what? He got a few more. I'm Giles. Welcome to my TED Talk. He also invented a musical instrument called the logical bassoon. Now, I've never played a bassoon,

but apparently a very hard thing to play. Is it? Well, keeping the breath. So this thing took that out of it. Right. It was an electronically controlled one. And he said it was probably his best invention, but it wasn't marketed correctly.

Okay. He's still alive. He's 96 years old. Is he? Yep, same age as the Queen. And he'll probably still give himself a little injection in Las Vegas and drop his trowel five minutes later.

So today's fact of the day is in 1983 to prove that he had a solution for erectile dysfunction a man called Giles dropped his pants in Las Vegas.

Fact of the day day day day day yeah do do do do do

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do day. Yeah. I was never grounded as a kid. It was just not a punishment my parents chose. You know what I mean? It was no point grounding a country kid because we live miles from anything anyway. But it wasn't until like, I got grounded in seventh form because we played

a silly prank and forgot to tell the person who played a prank and their parents found out and thought the house had been robbed. Oops, police got involved. Whoopsie daisy. Whoopsie daisy. Yeah, right. Oopsie oopsies. Now that you can't give, if you live on a farm and you can't give your kids a hiding like back in the day, what is the punishment Now that you can't give, if you live on a farm and you can't give your kids a hiding,

like back in the day, what is the punishment now if you can't ground them? Should it be like work and stuff? Yeah, no Wi-Fi, no technology. Oh yeah, work, jobs. I think it's a mistake to tell your kids that work is punishment because then they always... Yeah. Because I did. When I was a kid, I was like, right, you're gonna go and do this and right, you're gonna do this

and then every day when I'm driving to work now I feel like I'm being punished Yeah, yeah Your childhood trauma I associate having to stick to somebody else's schedule or having to do a task assigned by somebody else's punishment. Do you know what parents should have done? Make you eat lollies until you vomed

in chocolate and then you wouldn't eat them Like smoking durries. Did you ever get a this ring of anyone in this room you were the one that would have had to smoke a pack of durries

to put in your smoking? No, my parents were just like stop it. Oh right. Yeah, they'd find ciggies in my handbag and be like hey Leah

you're gonna die. You're gonna die. I shared them with Louie it's fine. Soft hand of parenting over there, right? Real liberal, real liberal capital city parenting. No, ours was like silent treatment, like just like.

Oh, like psychological damage. Yeah, like you've hurt me. You've really upset me. Oh, wow. Now we got hiding. Yeah. Hiding and that was it. And screamed at and are hiding.

Well, a dad has shared on Reddit a very unusual way he punishes daughter. He said, I have a daughter. She's a wonderful daughter, but she's very rude. Oh, okay. She doesn't care. You know, she speaks to us quite rude. Oh, no. I've tried many ways to fix this, but nothing works.

I don't have this problem with the rest of my kids. She doesn't care if I take away her electronics. She's a bookworm. She just picks up books. The one thing that she does love to do is study. She's very studious.

So she's like good at school but she's rude. Yeah. So the other day she was talking to her mother and she was being completely rude. Called her an a-hole.

Oh. Again. See, a hiding would have fixed this. I have never. I've never. I've never called my mother the B word. Again, see, a hiding would have fixed this. I have never, I've never called my mother the B word. I've never, I wouldn't dare because she would have got physical. I beg your pardon,

follow me up the stairs and I'll be like. So anyway, the only thing that this father could think of was banning her from studying. She was not allowed to study until she found, she worked out how to properly speak to her mother. Wow, I would have been stoked with that punishment.

This terror of a child I'll say, started yelling at him called him an a-hole. And said that it's not fair. I want to study. What does she want to study? And then she called the older brother who doesn't live at home and he called the parents and called them

both a-holes. Well, there's a problem here if both your children are calling you a-holes. How are you speaking to them? It's absolutely terrible. Anyway, instead of getting grounded, he banned her from studying because it was something that she liked to do. And this got us thinking, what is the weird

way that your parents would punish you? Because there's the classic ways. The grounding. The grounding. Flip around the ears, as we used to call it. You know, taking away your phone. Turning off the Wi-Fi. I've mentioned this before.

We got caught rolling apples down a really steep driveway into cars. And we weren't allowed to go to show sponsor McDonald's. And I said, but ma'am, it's a share spencer. She said, you don't work in radio yet. And you're not the show sponsor yet. You were having a time mash again. All different times of your life were getting mashed into one. I was seeing the future.

And they wouldn't take us to Friday McDonald's. And I was like, ma'am. Do you know what she is? I don't. You should have called her. No, don't call her that. I would have got the glad wrap or the wooden spoon around the end. Same.

I would have got the rolled up daily newspaper. Alright so 0800 DALS at M we want to take the

unusual punishments that your parents would dish out as kids. I mean we may not get any calls because it may have just been

all hidings. It was all text messages and weird things. Okay well keep your calls coming in 0800 DALS at M you can

text 9696. What was the weird way your parents would punish you? You want to know the strange way that your parents would punish you when you were a kid? Because there is a guy, a father who has punished his daughter by not allowing her to study. Because it's the only thing she likes to do. And she's also very rude.

Georgia, how were you punished as a kid? Hi. So from the age of like seven upwards, my oldest sister and I used to fight all the time. So my mum would close us in the kitchen with a wooden spoon each and let us have at each other. Oh, my God. What?

Child gladiators. Yes. Only one would leave. So you would battle. Yeah, basically. It was kind of terrifying because my older sister would be a bit ruthless. So there's a kitchen island, so I used to just throw the spoon at her and then try, like, escape.

Oh, yeah, yeah, just keep running around. Hold the spoon and get the high ground. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. And so you can kick them and spoon down. Yeah, were you allowed to grab some pots as, like, shields or a wok? No, no. We were just allowed a wooden spoon each and that was it.

Right. That's wild. I quite like that. Yeah, how would the fight end? Again, normally it would end with me throwing it at her and running away. Knockout or technical knockout. She would chase me around the kitchen island once I actually got her in the eye, which wasn't so great.

Yeah, that's not great. That's not great. Yeah, that's the thing because then mum's going to take you to the hospital and explain how it happened. Yeah.

I don't know. She wouldn't take us to the hospital. We were on a farm. We'd just stay there and just heal. So now your sister's blind in one eye

with an eye patch. Stay there and heal. You sit there and you heal. Think about what you've done, Georgia. Thank you for your call. So many messages coming in.

Quite a few people losing their bedroom doors. Privacy. Being robbed of their privacy if they were rude. Or if they were doing something naughty in their bedroom. My mum used to always do that when I had my boyfriend around when I was like 16, 17.

Maybe that door needs to be a bit wider open, Hayley. I'd be like, oh. All right. Really? Wow. Only got caught once. How far? Okay, that's an all fair discussion.

I mean, I'm interested to know. As a man who has two daughters who soon will be teenagers. Oh, Vaughn, you do not want to know. There will be no more friends in bedrooms. It'll be in the lounge or within 10 metres of me at all times. If I'm low in the lawns, it's on the deck. Yeah. And room for Jesus. Room for Jesus.

All right, keep your texts coming in 9696. We are talking about the strange ways that your parents punished you as a kid. A guy has banned his daughter from studying for it is the only thing she likes to do. I want to read every single one of these texts. They're so good. Every one of them is like, some of them you would never think about. Yeah. Some of them you're just like,

that's genius. Yeah. Oh, I once threw a tantrum in the supermarket. My mum let me get it out until I stopped, which I have no time for parents to let their children act up in public because it's one thing to be like,

I'm ignoring them, but everybody else has to deal with that. I shushed your kid the other day. I was like, shh. Yeah, good. Just get more people. Because I had to freak with that. I shushed your kid the other day. I was like, shh. Yeah, good. Just keep walking. Because I had to freak it out. Strangers freak them out.

Yeah. So I tantrumed until I stopped. I thought everything was fine until we got home, packed away the groceries, everything was calm, and then she came into the room carrying the strap and said, do your tantrum. Otherwise, you're going to get the strap. Do your tantrum again.

What? And she made her reenact her tantrum and then said, you do that again in public, this is what we do. We come home, you reenact the tantrum for the same amount of time that the tantrum happened in public or you get the strap. And you'd also realise how...

What? Oh my God, you're in the head at this stage. And you'd also realise as you were reenacting it without the rage how ridiculous it is. How crazy it is. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, right? Yeah.

There's so many. All right, we'll take some calls. Kim, how were you punished as a kid? Hey. So basically it was well known to my friend group that if I hadn't done the job that I was meant to do for my parents as a kid, that my mum would come in on a Saturday morning at 6 o'clock and would do them in my bedroom. So that would be full lights on, vacuum cleaner, anything that she could do. Oh, my God, thank you.

I'd just be grateful my mum was cleaning my room. Oh, no, no. It would be anything. She'd bring the ironing board in. Everything would be done. And really good if you'd had a night out the night before. Oh, when you were like a teenager. Wow.

That would have been absolutely hot, especially on a weekend. It was the worst. Yeah. Wow. Kim, thanks. You're cool. Ashley, how were you punished as a kid? So whenever me and my sister would fight and be naughty,

she'd try and punish us and it would never work. So she would end up resorting to stripping everything in our room. So she'd take all our ornaments, all of our clothes, our pillowcases, our sheets, our duvet covers. Yeah, everything, honestly. And we'd be stuck with just the duvet inners and then the pillow inners to sleep on. She'd take them all out and put it in bags and put it in the top of the wardrobe.

Like a prison. Yeah, pretty much. There would be so much admin as a parent, though. You'd just be like, then you've got to put it all back. Oh, God. No, but she didn't care. We'd come home from school and the room would just be empty and I was like, again.

What? Again? Yeah, again. Wow. How often did this happen? How much of a little s were you? I was a little s. Yeah. You're a big s. Like I said, we'd fight all the time and then she ended up resorting to that. So I think it happened about six times.

That is so funny. Amazing. Pillowcases. Ashley, thanks for your call. Some other messages in. I mean, a lot of stories about the old soap while you're swearing. Oh, yeah. That was funny because Ross Boss was telling us the other day,

he was telling his son that when he was a kid and swore, he got soap in his mouth, and his son said, did your mum take you in there, open your mouth, and do a couple of pumps in? Bless these children in. They don't know what bar soap is. Wait till they see bar soap with just a little pube stuck in it.

They'd always get stuck in there. What's this? Somebody said, my brother and I once ate a tube of toothpaste. Which sounds like the punishment, right? But anyway they sat down and they ate a tube of toothpaste and our punishment was we had to brush our teeth with salt for the week. Salt? Salt.

Oh, God. Someone said if I was ever in trouble, Dad would just get me to do big jobs with small tools. Like once I had to edge the entire lawn with a pair of scissors. It took me hours. I love that. Big jobs with small tools. Big jobs with small tools.

Big jobs with small tools. That rules. What a great idea because it just sucks up so much time. You get sore hand. Or dig a big hole with like a little trowel. A little trowel. That's so good. One time, well, we swore we got a mouthful of mustard

and then we got used to mustard, so they moved to mustard powder and then we got used to that. And I can remember the last time just getting a handful of mustard blowing then we got used to mustard so they moved to mustard powder and then we got used to that and I can remember the last time just getting a handful of mustard blown in my face.

Like, mum, that's crazy. I love it. Open your eyes, open your mouth and on the count of three breathe in.

One, two, three. It'll be like mum, mum just maced you. Kids make, kids make parents crazy though They do You're like you don't know And they just get under your skin so quickly

Yeah If I was naughty I had to walk to school With one shoe on And then mum would drop the other shoe At the school office So I had to go in and say Did my mum drop one of my shoes off here

It's so petty Why It's so petty. Why? It's so petty. That's so crazy. I like that one so much. And mum has to go out of her way to drop a shoe at the office too. You look like such a dick. Yeah.

Go back to school. Somebody messaged in of my brother and I were fighting. We got put in the bathroom and the light got switched off. And we just had to sit in darkness until we'd calmed down enough to come out. And it was pretty soon we'd just get bored and just start talking to each other about stuff and probably forgetting what we thought about it. You'd get along quite nicely.

There you go. There's a bit of isolation. Oh, man. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. I will take responsibility for welcoming our next guest because I am his sister. Well, I've been called his theatre wife,

his theatre sister. We've made many a work together. We went to drama school together. Did you go to drama school? Yeah, I don't know if I should mention this. I should have said this. I wish you'd said something. You hardly mention it.

A degree in acting. A degree in acting. And he's got one too. Chris Parker joins us. Morena. Morena. Putting it to good use, actually. To great use. Every too. Chris Parker joins us. Morena. Morena. Putting it to good use, actually. To great use.

Every now and then I'll just drop into role. She's on the radio and you've written a book. Two perfect uses of an acting degree. We did a week of voice training, so you're kind of using that week to its full advantage. No, no. The boys pull me up all the time because I'm very... She's a big popper.

Yeah, like that. And they keep telling me to across the mic. Yeah, but you... Across the mic. But you cry on radio. You know how to get into those other emotions where they might not. I'm fluid on radio, Chris. You could do a character.

And they wouldn't be able to do that. Well, actually, Vaughn's been... I've been doing some character work. Oh, really? It's a lie. What do you have in your arsenal? It's anything. Anything.

Give us an old mate. Well, well. This is an old mate who's arrived home and dinner's not ready. Oh, no. Okay, here we go. And action. Where the bloody hell's my dinner, woman? Wow.

Oh, that was quite scary, actually. Right. Yeah. I was wanting Southern farmer. Someone's going to play the monster. Yeah, no, you're right. Someone has to play the monster. I've got multiple versions. Okay, here's anothermer. Someone's going to play the monster. Anyway. No, you're right. Someone has to play the monster. I've got multiple versions.

Here's another one. Old mate arrives home, dinner's not ready. See, most people will assign a character and just play the one version of it. Here's another one. He's always hungry. Okay, here you go.

Oh, honey, I thought dinner would be ready by now. He's more evil than the first guy. He's like, yeah. Because he's in the mind. You know what this means, honey? I'm glad you picked up on that. Yeah, I really got.

Because that's what I wanted, him to be the worst person. So Chris Parker. Yes. You know what this means, honey. I'm glad you picked up on that. Yeah, I really got. Because that's what I wanted, him to be the worst person. So Chris Parker. Yes. You are a busy boy. He's a busy boy. You recently got married. Yeah, only, was it yesterday?

Truly yesterday. You've just been featured in Vogue. Yeah, the wedding's on Vogue.com. The wedding's in Vogue. You've been writing theatre shows, stand-up shows, touring around, working in TV, writing a lot, behind the scenes, crying on the toilet. Yes, they took mental breakdown.

And now, amongst all of that, little did we know, you were penning a book. And with a pen. Well, actually a quill. A quill, of course. I like to draw it out, so I have the feather, I put it in. He harks from Shakespeare. So you've written Here for a Good Time,

Organised Thoughts from a Disordered Mind by? Disorganised, not disordered. You said disordered. Oh! Where's that Freudian slip? The truth's coming out. I know him so well. I know him so well.

It's actually funny you mention that. Hey, no. Tell us about the book. Okay, sure. What is it about? Because it's not a biopic. Not a memoir. No, I mean, no.

I mean, imagine that. It would be like, he grew up in Christchurch. It was a pretty fine life. Okay, sure. What is it about? Because it's not a biopic. No, I mean, no. I mean, imagine that. It would be like, he grew up in Christchurch. It was a pretty fine life. Yeah, yeah. He went to drama school, met Hayley Sproul. That was it. You know, here he is on the radio. No, it's like an extension of my stand-up comedy.

It's like essays, short stories, funny little quips. Anecdotes. Anecdotes. You know, just something that you could, you know, read over summer, you You know over the summer holidays At the beach A stocking filler So no don't

It is more than a stocking filler We've all got beach houses You probably You've got a beach house I will I aspire If the book does well Well that's what I'm saying

We get a copy for each Of our beach houses I have three beach houses So that's three copies Of the book I mean that's my hope For the book Is that

I mean anyone should be able To pick it up and read it And enjoy it Maybe over the age of 16 I think think there's some, you know, there's some juicy, there's some sexy stuff in there. But my hope is that it's found, you know, in like a batch somewhere. And someone's like, oh, I know him. I thought you were saying your hype for the book was

it will afford you a beach house. Oh, no, no. I've invested everything I've got in this. No, no, it's sort of found at a beach house. And someone thinks, oh, there's that comet. It's Korea ending in flames. Because you've written short form scripts, long form scripts, stand up, TV. Where on earth did you start with this?

Like how did you go and sit down at your laptop? Just you have like a little idea or something. Like there's a chapter in there about how I don't have kids and don't think I want kids. But how hard that is. Actually but how hard that is, actually how hard that is for me as someone whose friends are all having kids, like how do you position yourself? I'm not, I'm not, I'm still fun. Yeah exactly but then how

do you, because they always say to you you don't know what it's like to be tired and you don't know how to come back to that so there's some advice about how to engage with that, there's a story about growing up and doing ballet as a young boy. There's, I've written a list of what I think are modern pool rules for swimming pool

etiquette. See, this is good. This is good because you're a swimmer. Yeah. The other day, someone was swimming on the left-hand side towards me. Chaos.

I was like, etiquette. I never understand the passing rule in the lanes. You know, if you want to pass someone, I don't know if you're allowed to. But you're allowed to. You've got to indicate first.

For three seconds. So as you're doing your freestyle, you indicate and then you go around. For three seconds. And then quickly indicate back. I thought it was more of a golf thing. It was relying on the person in front of you stopping at the end and realising

they were holding somebody up. Oh, but they don't. They don't do that. Because, you know, it's one of the only forms of exercise where you have to rate your ability before entry. So you have to think am I slow, medium or fast? And you sort of have to assess yourself on that level.

And it turns out medium is just a flexible term. A lot of people who I would consider basically aqua jogging consider themselves to be a medium paced swimmer. And I'll tell you they're not. Are you in the fast lane Fletch? I judge it on, I look at the pool and then I'm like, who's in there?

If the hard out water polo slash speed squads are in there, I'll go medium. I hate it when the speed squad's taking up the lane. It changes. It changes. I agree. And then you have those people that used to be good swimmers a long time ago and they can't let go to the fact that they're medium now and they're in the fast. Where would I go?

Because I'm a breaststroke but I don't want to get my hair wet. Slow. You were with the ladies. And I like to have a little chat. You were with like Maureen. Kids pool. Maureen's older than me. Get out.

This book deals with the big issues. What chapter will I find your thoughts on Ukraine-Russia? Oh, that is on page 39. That's okay. That's just our swimming pool letter. I put it thoughts on Ukraine-Russia? Oh, that is on page 39. That's okay. That's just our presuming political. I put it into the Ukraine up top. It's the elephant in the room. This is how far 39 is.

You're literally... Well, everyone's wondering, what's Chris's take? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Embossed cover. I've got to say, of everything on a first impression, I'm most impressed with an embossed cover. Is embossed cover, is that more like when you're sitting down with the publisher, are they upgrading you to an embossed cover is that more like when you're sitting down with the publisher are they like how much are they upgrading you to the embossed cover I just was like

listen my audience expect it to be embossed yeah don't even consider anything else like emboss if it was if you had it my way every word on that book would have been embossed oh yeah like a sort of braille yeah if I ever wrote a book I'd I ever wrote a book, I'd have a string. A nice string for it. I'd have a string. Like a Bible? Yeah. Like a Bible. I didn't do the string because I'm like,

mate, you're not going to need the string. You're not going to want to put this down. Oh, wow. Nice. So you can buy it everywhere, basically. Honestly, everywhere. It's a thrill to walk into a Whitcalls and then just see like a stack of them.

My dream is to become a Jones pick. Yes, Jones. Because then you've made it. Then a stack of them. My dream is to become a Jones pick. Yes, Jones knows her books. Because then you've made it. Then you've made it. I cannot wait to read this book. I am going to read it even though I feel like

I know nearly everything about you anyway. Go get the book. It's called Chris Parker, Here for a Good Time. Organised thoughts from a disordered mind.

No, disorganised mind. And just look for the green book. I was going to say bright green book, easy to spot. That's good as well. That and the embossing. And the embossing, yeah.

Lovely to have you here, Chris. Thanks for having me, too. 19 past eight. If you would like a signed copy of Chris Parker's beautiful embossed Green Book, 0800 DALS at M. Right now, we'll give it to caller 10. Next, though, I've got an issue I'd like to bring up with Hayley. Oh, no. Oni.

Oni. Can we not do this privately? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Also on the cards for the long weekend is some good weather. Yes. Can we not do this privately? Also on the cards for the long weekend is some good weather. Yes. For some places, I'm off to the Coromandel and sunny, sunny as. But of course, if the warm weather comes, the mosquitoes. Now, Vaughn, are you an attacky? Can I just say, I'll just stop for a minute.

Yeah. She's learning, isn't she? That was a pretty good segue. That was a really, really good segue. She's really coming along. She's really, she's really. Oh, guys, thank you. That was really good.

In fact, it was so good, I was just. You didn't even know it happened. I didn't even know it happened. Wow, thank you. Yeah, but I got a trained ear, you see. Wow. That is really good. I'm still struggling with my p, but I'm going to keep working on the.

Yeah, your mic technique. On the p's. Yeah. And I'm getting better. You're getting there. You're doing so well. Well, anyway, warm weather, mosquitoes. Vaughn, you get eaten?

Just the hands lately. Why? So when we pulled down our last shed, I made this little outdoor thing for the water pumps because we've got water pumps. Yeah. But they require power and there was no power in the shed. So there's an extension cord that goes out the bedroom window and powers the water pumps.

Vaughn, I will say that sounds very problematic. It's worked for months. No problem. And the window has to stay open a smidge, you see. And I feel like they're coming in there. Oh, my God. Get an outdoor like they're coming in there. Oh my God. Get an outdoor electrical point. You know it's happening.

It'll be taken care of soon. So you're getting eaten at the moment because Aaron's the same. Like if there is even a crack open in a house, he'll wake up and just be covered. They just devour him. We're tasty boys. Am I not tasty?

Because like every now and again, I'll get a little bite. Same. But I don't get like you see people with them all up their legs. Yeah, I can sit outside all night and maybe I have one, but it won't itch and it won't turn into anything. Whereas Aaron's get so bad, sometimes they're like get infected because they're so big.

Mine happen. I wake up scratching, but then by the morning, gone. Gone. Which is really weird. Yeah. Well, researchers have found that people who are most attractive to mozzies produce a smell. It's the smell of you. You're attractive.

Did you hear that? I know, I know. We're big yummy boys. Yeah. So it's a certain chemical on your skin that... Because, you know, people say it can also be a little BS that I'm like, I don't get eaten and you do. But you're like, no, no, no, no.

I remember once someone telling me I didn't get bit by mozzies because I was part Maori. And I feel like that's not a thing. There's some 80s racism coming through here, doesn't it? Some real 80s racism. I'm going to eat your blood. Yeah. No, it's a high level of a certain chemical.

Wow. That produces a stench that the mosquitoes are very, Yeah. No, it's a high level of a certain chemical. Wow. That produces a stench that the mosquitoes are very attracted to. And no matter what you do, you will always be tasty to a mozzie. Oh, no, I deed up. If I deed up, you know, with some mozzie repellent, I don't get any of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get the mozzie spray. But I've heard that that doesn't repel them.

It just makes you invisible to them. Yeah, right. Right. Which makes sense if I'm excreting something in the deets neutralising it. Yeah. So you are attractive to Mozzie's, but you've got a stench that only Mozzie's can smell. God, the way they did this is they got a bunch of people like yourself, Vaughan, who are like, I constantly get eaten, and a bunch of people like yourself, Fletch,

who are like, it doesn't really bother me. Yeah. And they put these like stockings on their arms that would absorb their smell and the chemical off their skin. And then they just released a whole bunch of mosquitoes on them. Huh. Yeah, gross. Do you think it's because you use your Radox coconut?

Shell soap. Perhaps. You could smell like a delicious tropical fruit. Sort of a pollination princess. What is a coconut? Is it fruit? No. It's a seed.

Is it? I think it's technically a seed. It doesn't have a pip. It doesn't have a seed. It is the pip, though. Just stand by while we Google this, Loss and Up. Oh, I've talked about this Botanically speaking, a coconut is a fibrous, one-seeded droop

Also known as a dry droop Okay However, when using loose definitions, the coconut can be all three A fruit, a nut, and a seed Botanists love classification Botanists Oh, what a hilarious bunch Do you know what they're calling the thing that you've got high levels of that is attractive?

What? A greasy molecule. I don't want that. You're a greasy little tasty snack, aren't you? I don't want that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole, silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole

Silly little pole, silly little pole Today's silly little pole. Do you overpack or do you underpack, dear listener? Definitely an overpacker. Big overpacking energy over here. I'm a big overpacker. Big overpacking energy over here. I'm a big overpacker. I need three sweatshirts for this night away. In Fiji?

Yeah. Because who knows what one I'll be in the mood for. 89% of people agree, say they are an overpacker. 11% claim the underpacking status. Yeah, wow. Like you touched on before, if you go somewhere, you just end up wearing the same shorts and t-shirt

for ages, eh? Or you buy something there that you like love and you just thrash it. I'm talking fisherman pants in Thailand. Yes. Big stretchy waistbands.

Yeah. That's what I want when I'm in Thailand. Yeah. Alex says, I've always over packed and decided to try to be minimal once

and packed about three shirts on a four day trip in a camper van. It was awful. I'm never under packing again. The key is to try to be minimal once and packed about three shirts on a four-day trip in a camper van. It was awful. I'm never underpacking again. The key is to pack lots of undies and socks. Undies and socks. Yeah, pack like you're going to shit yourself.

No, but not too many because you can give your undies a wash in the sink. Especially like gal's undies. Oh, yeah. Nah, my undies are always needed machine wash. Yeah. Especially if you get some gastro in Bali. Oh, yeah. No, they need a machine wash. Yeah. Especially if you get some gastro in Bali. Oh, yeah. No, they need a bin.

Sophia says, 15 pairs of undies always. Never know how many times you're going to shake your pants. Yeah, see, there she goes. She's talking my language over here.

Yeah, she knows. Anonymous airline pilot here, plus I'm gay. Now, I don't know what that's got to do with it, but I'm looking forward to seeing how that ties into the story.

An anonymous airline... An anonymous homosexual airline pilot. I need to look good in any weather conditions. We fly to winter one week, summer the next. By overpacking I actually very rarely need to pack, except for washing some clothes

to go back into the bag for the next trip. Just keep the bag on rotation. I also have duplicates of some things like jeans so I never get to pack something. Never forget. Now, I don't know exactly what a sexuality

had to do. There's one sentence to go. There's one sentence to go. Oh, yeah. Can't be like a straight captain in jandals at a Sydney bar.

No, you can't. Oh, okay. There you go. That's what it had to do with the story. What is a straight? He's got his town shoes in there.

A straight heterosexual straight pilots. Straight pilots are very much like TV cameramen, dress-wise. Cargo shorts and a jandle. Yeah, yeah. Like dads. Plenty of pockets. With a roll of tape. Yeah.

Strapped to the belt. Yeah. Okay. Mixed match colours, mismatched colours. Yeah, yeah. I'm just pleased to hear. I'm just pleased to hear that homosexuals are allowed to fly planes. After all those years.

Well, yeah, they weren't a few years ago, were they? No. They were banned, you know. Because they'd kiss each other. Oh, my God, so much kissing. How are they going to fly the plane when they're out there kissing? They distract the other pilot by, you know, telling him about the homosexual agenda.

And, of course, then he'd automatically become gay as well. He's got a wife and kids at home. But now he's a gay man kissing another gay man at 2,000 feet. I mean, I do know... A gay pilot. A gay pilot that kissed another gay pilot in the... I know. I've heard a story.

I've heard a story. Guys, I've heard a story. This is your captain smooching? I've heard a story. I'm just saying I've heard a story. This is your captain smooching. I've heard a story. I'm just saying I've heard a story. He'd come on the intercom and it'd be like Cher playing in the background. You know? Now, that is stereotypical.

That is stereotypical. Yeah. What, and kissing in the cockpit isn't? Very stereotypical. Naomi, who I believe To be a heterosexual woman Okay Is she a pilot? Not this time

Okay The one time I was super proud Of light packing I spent the whole trip Wishing I had options Now I can't wear The PSA pack from PTSD

So there you go She wished she had options Kylie Having this trouble right now Off to Australia For three days And finding it hard To keep the weight

Under 7kgs It's only three days. They don't check. She's only going to carry on. They don't check. Unless it's Jetstar, they check, don't they? They're quiet. God, I had to pay for it once too.

They charge up a wazoo for extra. Cheeky. Just wear it all. You should go on, sweat. Lol, I'm packing for Queenstown now. I have 10 outfits for four days. That's too many. That's two and a half outfits a day.

Yeah, too many. It's ridiculous. Sam half outfits a day. Yeah, too many. It's ridiculous. Sam says you've got to leave room for some souvenir T-shirts. Oh, you have to. A bin tang. You've got to. You need a bin tang singlet.

Everybody says they're not going to buy a bin tang singlet. Oh, they do, don't they? Five bucks and your other singlet's a bit sweaty and you spend five bucks on a bin tang singlet and it immediately becomes your favourite. Silly little pile. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

I was reading this article this morning that it got me a thinking. It's about relationships in the workplace, whether or not they're a great idea. This is the thing that I always think about, though, with my friends that didn't go to drama school basically. Where do you meet people? At work.

When you're an adult. There's been high profile, especially in America lately of senior managers who have had relationships with other managers or other staff and they've had to leave their job, leave the company. Because some workplaces don't even want anyone mixing.

Yeah. Or it could be seen as a problem. They're saying that workplace relationships are on the rise and they think that's because people are so over the online dating. So they're going, I'm so sick of Tinder, I'm just going to look at what's in front of me. Who are the people that I engage with on a daily basis? You think about your work week, it's pretty much get up in the morning,

go to work all day, get home. Spend all day with those people. And then do the same on repeat. It's the only people you're seeing, people at work. Yeah. Well, obviously it comes with a lot of problems, right? Because then like your personal life is so entrenched in your work life.

A lot of bad stories were shared on the back of this issue being raised and I wanted to get our own data. Okay. I want to hear your, if you had a work relationship, did it end terribly or go really well? Because that's the risk.

If it ends badly, you have to see this person every day. I know. Or deal with them. And like, what's the hierarchy? Like if they work under you, you know what I mean? Like you're their boss.

That's bad. And they're in a position of power. It's just so messy. Yeah. It's very, very messy. But then on the flip side of that, you could be happy ever after. You could have met your wife or husband. Totally.

At work. And it all worked out. I know lovely stories on this article saying, like, our relationship started in the office, you know, got kids. And it was the great place to sort of, you know. I mean, we've all watched The Office, the TV show. Well, it's just like that, isn't it? I mean, it's just a beautiful relationship to watch blossom. And then, you know, they both stayed working there and it worked out well and it was fine.

So I just want to know if anyone listening has started a workplace relationship. Maybe it was even just a physical one. Okay, maybe it ended badly. Maybe it ended in success. You worked out all good. The house, the child, the works. Or maybe you got a pay rise out of it. Yeah.

I mean, look. Got something good out of it. Because that's how you got quite a bump from Ross, isn't it? Yes. So had a workplace friendship relationship there? A couple of very high risk sexual encounters.

Yeah. Very high risk. But you know, I got a taste for that when I was working at the prisons. Yeah. I couldn't get enough

of those bad boys, you know. I know. And people would say, this seems like another dangerous workplace romance. He's only using you to smuggle things in

when he gets out. He's like, I don't want anything to do with you. I said, this one's different. And you know what? Every time I was wrong. Yeah, right. I'm his baby.

I'm his baby. He calls me baby. He calls me tush. No. Yeah. Heartbreak. That's bloody. You really did bring a lot of unwanted attention. You never got over that guy, did you? No one will ever get over old Murray. Muscle Murray.

Murray the muscle. I tell you what, he didn't mind a trip to South Block D. Alright, so 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. We want the good stories and the bad stories of your workplace romances. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

We are talking about when you have engaged in a workplace romance. Yes. Or sexy times. And did it work out good or bad? We're actually getting quite a lot of success stories. Yeah, I know. Beautiful romantic story.

Is it surprising you? Yeah, because it just feels so shambolic to me. You know, the idea of being at work with them and how that could all go wrong. But I'm loving that people are finding love at work. Belinda, what happened? We're 23 and we've been for a good six months and then we hooked up at a work do. In the closet, in the stationary room.

Not at work we went to work through out of work all right okay um actually a south african verse all blacks game and i'm south african and he's kiwi oh wow scandal did the all blacks win, I don't remember that. Sorry. Doesn't matter. Four years ago. Okay. And then we worked together for about two or three years and fought for, like, cats and dogs. And then I decided that I would leave and he could stay just so we could work it out.

And we've been together for 10 years and we've got two kids. Oh, okay. but you left your job to make it a bit easier. Yeah, he'd been there for longer than I had and I was in a different career before so I went back to that career and

he stayed. But another success story, amazing. Belinda, thank you. Anonymous, have you got another success story for us? I wouldn't call it a success story. Amazing. Belinda, thank you. Anonymous, have you got another success story for us? I wouldn't call it a success story. In fact, it went quite south on us. Oh, okay. We've got to have a bit of balance.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So long story short, worked in the same team as this girl. We became close. She declared her unrequited love for me. It turns out that I didn't realise at the time that she also had a boyfriend who worked in the same office. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

So you just buckle up, buckle up, jump forward. I get transferred into his team, so it went from awkward to really awkward. He kind of caught wind of what was happening in an attempt to try and level the playing field he very publicly proposed in front of all of the staff it worked

oh no and then oh no it's still going okay she freaked out and the ultimate act of uncertainty just went look I'm out of here and left the country

thankfully I was swept off my feet by a beautiful woman. But we jump forward to I'm almost getting married and I get a random phone call. And it was a request from her years later to travel overseas to the country that she's in to join her wedding party as her new husband's best man. Wait, what? What? What the? No, what? What? What the? No, what?

I think she's a little bit... Okay, that is a great story. Wow. What did you say? Can I ask, what kind of work industry is this? It was

in the media. Oh, okay. I was really hoping you were going to say something like accountants. Yeah, it'd be finance.

Finance, yeah, because it's also boring and numbers and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, amazing.

You've got to find spices other ways at the workplace, don't you? Anonymous, thank you. We've got more stories to get to next. Workplace romance,

the good and the bad. Play, ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Lots of messages in. We're talking about workplace romance is the good and the bad.

I know. Yeah. My husband and I met at work 36 years ago on November 5th. It was our 34th wedding anniversary. We've got two children

and three grandchildren. Oh my God. I love it. I loved it. All the information worked into that one too. It was very factual and concise.

Yeah. Somebody said you should do another topic where people call in about the disasters they had working with their siblings. Oh, that'd be a great idea. I hope there'd be no crossover between the two. Romances with the siblings. I would also hope for that.

But there could be some disasters if you know the workplace going up because no one argues like you do with your siblings. Yeah, that's true. I am a team trainer at an airline. God, it could be any. I tell people best not to have office romances, but I met my partner at work.

He got fired for stealing from the job, which impacted my role. I resigned and also left him also after seven years together. Good God, Favis. What a twist and a turn, eh? Yeah. I was like, I thought the roller coaster was over and then he got done. Yeah.

He got done and then we were loop-de-loop and she left seven years later. What was he nicking? Little bottles of... I don't know. ...cooks or little snacks. Or really big tyres. Or huge tyres.

Huge tyres. He was rolling them out of the office. Or suitcases. Oh, yeah, yeah. We don't know what he did. Sheridan, what, you had a workplace romance? It went well. We're getting married in January.

Oh, yay. It's an Indian wedding, so we're flying over to India. Oh, my God. Five day affair? Yes, exactly. Wow. So, a bit nervousday affair? Yes, exactly. Wow. So I've been nervous for that.

Can I ask Sheridan, are you Indian or is he Indian? Or are you both Indian? He's Indian. Do you know what? I always said to Aaron. No, he's Indian. I'm European. I always said to Aaron. I know this is terrible to say.

I said, I always said to Aaron, if I could change one thing about you, I wish you were Indian. So that you could have a five-day. So I could have an Indian wedding. It was all about me and I got to look amazing. For five days. You're very lucky. You're very lucky. Exactly. They five-day. So I could have an Indian wedding. It was all about me and I got to look amazing. For five days. You're very lucky. You're very lucky.

Exactly. They go all out, so yeah. So you met at work? Yeah, so we met at Hell Pizza. Oh my gosh. Romance? Yeah. Yeah, I was still in high school though and he was studying at a college.

Yeah. And then we started becoming friends, started hanging out with other friends, slowly turned into dating somehow. I don't think we've either expected it. Oh, wow. I don't know. Yeah, so we just went to the movies one night. I wasn't expecting it.

And then he started holding my hand and I was like, oh, okay, you like me too. This is good. I love this. Wow, love over a pandemonium pizza. Oh, yeah, it was a pandemonium. Cranberry sauce f fumes absolutely got you. They're intoxicating. And now you're off to India to get married to him.

Yeah, yeah. So we got engaged in August and the wedding's in January. So pretty fast, but we've been together five years now. So it makes sense. Can you send us photos, please? Because you are living my dream. Yeah, Hayley would love to see photos. And if there's any Indian boys listening, it's not too late.

It's not too late. Officially not married. Officially not married. Amazing. Sheridan, thanks for your call. Okay, some other bad ones that didn't work out. Give it. My dad and my manager at my job when I was 18, we broke up.

I took some time off so I didn't have to see him. Came back to work, got back together. Now we've been back together for nine years and married for five. Oh, okay. That was a happy ending. That was happy. Some twists in there as well. Oh! And a physical one back home.

A little spanky wanky Okay Sorry This is It's not a fantasy I won't call it But it's hot Husband and I met on the job

Both on police I kicked a door in And that was the end of it He was like I gotta have that We've been married for 24 years Wow That's cool

That's pretty hot That is hot She's like Stand back Trev. Shaboom! Yeah. I reckon if I was a cop, that would be the hardest thing,

kicking in a door, because they always, on the movies, they rig the doors. It looks easy. Loose hinge. But I'd get one with like four dead bots and hurt my knee.

Have to be off work for this. I'd have a battering ram. Oh, those look so cool. Boosh. Yeah. Boosh. Give her that. I worked on yachts.

Workplace relationships were a nightmare. There's nowhere to go when you're at sea. Oh, my God. Yeah, no. You can't run from them when you're at sea. Yeah, lots of people meeting their partners at work. But as you say, if you're there most of your waking hours, it seems like a place you could, eh?

Look, all I'm going to say is I'm open to it. The other day Anna saw a photo of me and she said, you know what, I would. It's lucky you're leaving because I'm running that straight up to HR. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Kato's a very good friend of mine.

She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.