ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st December 2022

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Boxing Day  Top 6: Twitter CEOsSerious Meat Poll  Hayleys Courier  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, trying barista-made iced coffees. Available now at your local McCafe. This might seem like a desperate... What's that? What? What? What was that? Go. Go. Go.

You go. Don't. No, you go. By all means, please. No, you go, please. I wouldn't want to talk over a woman. This woman's got nothing to say. This woman's got nothing to say. Like the bloody rest of them.

Lads, lads, lads. My bloody wish. Yeah. It might seem like a desperate grab at the younger demographic, but I've got my children and now they have to do something. Why do they do that? You put a microphone in their face and they cover their mouths. You can't shut them up normally.

You guys play Roblox? Should we play Bloxburg? Meet you in there. I've just been doing a CapCut edit for TikTok. What's a CapCut? It's a program you use to edit videos on your phone. Yeah, I've been doing a TikTok. I should have got the guys to do me a ticky-tocky video.

Oh, yeah, they do. Because I don't. got the guys. I'm in this filter with my TikTok. I should have got the girls to do me a Tiki Toki video. Oh, yeah, they do. Because I don't. Indie's TikToks are the shittest TikToks. Indie! They're all like, that voiceover thing. The TikToks that talk. And it's like, you know your TikTok voice?

This is me. Oh, my God. Me and my friends on Roblox. What's cool on TikTok? This is me. Oh my god. Me and my friends on Roblox. What's cool on TikTok? This is your chance to redeem. What's cool on TikTok, Indy? I'm up here at all this because people can't hear me. No comment. I need to know a cool trend. Are these even your kids?

They don't want to talk. Hang on, I'm just checking out my TikTok to see what I've done. What's the latest? How popular are you? People are mentioning me in comments, but I don't want to talk. Hang on. I'm just checking out my TikTok to see what I've done. What's the latest? How popular are you? People are mentioning me in comments, but I don't know what's happening there. Inbox, over 100. Oh, it's exhausting. Profile.

I've done three TikToks. Okay. How many views? 9,000 on one. 21,000 on another. That's not bad. Oh, hello. Someone's famous. All right. That's not bad. Oh, hello. Someone's famous.

All right. That's not bad. Do I need to do a dance? What's the TikTok trend? Are people still dancing on TikTok? You don't know. All right. You need to do a cap cut of a Roblox video.

I strictly go no cap. You're no cap. Yeah, I'm no cap. Yeah. We have no choice. All right. But to Stan. But to Stan.

Being boys as kids would never let him down like this. No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. But on demand. They'll shy away from it. They'll get in there. The how-to dad, he's out there doing his thing. And his kids are just like, tell me what, Dad.

Tell me what to say and I'll do it. Yeah. Look at these two. Someone's getting coal for Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, from Krampus. Krampus is coming. Krampus is coming to destroy Christmas.

The quiet children. Yeah. Nothing? No.. Krampus is coming. Krampus is coming to destroy Christmas. The quiet children. Nothing? No. They made us cookies, though. They did make us cookies. Yeah. Delicious cookies.

Not bad cookies. They're really good. They've got chocolate on them and sprinkles, and they're yum, and I've ate all mine. Not bad cookies. Well, bugger you then. Don't say that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. A great start to the day for producer Jared. Oh, I know. He's just come in from the vending machine. Oh, yeah. Big day. Big day.

What were you at the vending machine for originally? A high-protein spirulina smoothie. Yeah, beautiful. Of course. Of course. I'll find a picture of half our boyina smoothie. Yeah, beautiful. There he is. Of course. I'll find a picture of half our boy in need. Picture of half. Are you sure they even have those in the vending machine?

Yep. That's what he was looking for. What did you actually get, though? I got a zero-sugar Red Bull. Okay. Oh, right. Okay. But you got a free...

It spat you out something free. Yeah. Lying at the bottom was a free bag of sea salt chippies. Oh, kind of good. Those are breakfast chips. Breakfast chips. Breaky chips. Yeah, that's absolutely fine.

What, just a basic flavour? Is that what makes it a breakfast chip? Yeah, yeah. It's a hash brown, just a cold, hard hash brown. Yeah, a thin hash brown. A compacted hash brown. Exactly. Oh, shoot.

This is a good start to your day, JP. Yep, yep. It can only get better from here, too. Right. What a day. Were there free rations? Did you see the vending machine yesterday? Oh, my God.

There was like a stack of four. Did anyone bang the glass? It was like they were all jammed out. Like someone just kept ordering rations. Yes. But not a single bag had dropped. It's when you give it a wiggle. No, because the alarm comes on when you wiggle it.

I'm not allowed to wiggle. You're not allowed to wiggle it. You're not allowed to rock it. You're allowed to wiggle it. No, I think it calls the police. You punched the glass. Give it a little punch. Hmm.

Give it a little punch. Give your enemy a little punch. Speaking of breakfast chips, I had a breakfast stir fry. And it's sitting high. You brought in noodles in a steamer. I was like, this is wild.

I'm trying to clean out the fridge before we go away for Christmas. I love this. I love this. So I literally made a stir fry with like all the limp vegetables

and chicken that as of yesterday, as of today, this morning, is three days expired. Oh, wow. Nah. I think it was all right.

It smelled semi-funky. But then add it to the pan. Soy sauce. Soy sauce. Garlic. Exactly. It was absolutely fine. You'll be fine.

Coming up on the show, the top six, Elon Musk running a poll on Twitter yesterday, which he said at the outset, I will stand by this poll. When I saw this poll early, to continue being the CEO was winning. And then something happened.

There was a tide change. And when the poll ended, it was like, no, you should not be CEO of Twitter. And he's like, well, no one else wants to do it anyway. It's like, you buzz. Yeah, he didn't honour it. This is like that time my wife asked the public what we should call our baby calf

and then completely ignored the problem. She did too. That's right. My wife is Elon Musk. Very similar. Well, you've got some alternatives. If he does step down, Twitter CEOs, who will have a guy?

Because Snoop Dogg put his hand up, didn't he? Snoop Dogg said he'd have a blast. Oh, he'd be great. I don't know if he would be. I mean, he's good at certain things. I don't know, being CEO of a massive social media network would be one of them. Well, he's a very rich man.

Yeah. Yeah, true. You can't doubt his success. We've got good connections. He's a cool guy. All right, next on the show. I've got some great news for those looking forward to the Boxing Day sales.

Something potentially unexpected. That's me, because we've got to buy a suit for Maddie McLean's wedding, don't we? You know, we're going to go shopping on Friday. Yeah, but I'm... Vaughan, are you coming? No. No, remember, he's leaving us. He won't even come to our lunch.

I've got a Christmas... The old Vaughan would have. Christmas hikoi to make. Who's leading the Hikoi? I was wondering if you could do me the honour of sending me off. As a resident Māori. Yeah. And 2022's Dan Fina Cooper.

Wow. Big call, big call. Big call. I wear this honour. It's an honour. Yeah, thank you. All right, well, good news for Boxing Day sales. Next. Play. ZM's F's an honour. Yeah, thank you. All right, well, good news for Boxing Day sales. Next.

Now, we have been told. We have been told and told and told and told and told to stop spending. I won't be told. I won't be told. Oh, yeah, no. I'm also doing the telling. You are.

You are helping the situation. Because we've caused this recession, haven't we? We've been spending too much. And now it's all gone up the wazoo. Although I was reading in the news this morning, we've been spending more than last year this time at Christmas. I know. And everyone's like, guys, how loudly can we scream

that next year's going to be an absolute shambles? Auckland was still in lockdown last year in the lead up to Christmas, right? That's right. Well, we're out by now. I feel like we just got out. We just got out. We got out just in time for Christmas. Yeah.

For sure. Well, everyone was wondering, everyone was wondering what impact this might have on Boxing Day sales. Something that many of us enjoy. Enjoy. Especially when you get vouchers for Christmas. Especially when you've got a new kitchen to stock up with items.

I want like a, I want one of those massive blenders, you know, with the stick. You know those blends with the stick and you like poke it in. Like a juicer? Yeah. No, but not a juicer. It's like a big. Like a multi-blending thingy. Multi-blend thingy. Right, okay. You meant a food processor. No, but not a juicer. It's like a big... Like a multi-blending thingy. Multi-blend thingy. Right, okay.

You meant a food processor. No, not a food processor, because that's like that. Well, then you're talking about a blender, just a blender. Yeah, but a big one's like mixes. I've never seen a blender with a stick. Yeah, and you go... Never. No, you don't want a hole in the top of your blender.

Yeah. It'll blow out. It'll spread out everywhere. No, but they're big. Right. I'll show you when I get on with a food processor. You're talking about a hole in the top of your blender. Yeah. It'll blow out. It'll spread out everywhere. No, but they're big. Right. I'll show you when I get on the food processor. You're talking about a food processor. No, a food processor is like round and low.

Yeah. And it whips around. Yeah. I'm talking about high like a blender. But it's got to be. If you were putting a stick into a blender, the stick would hit the blades. No, it's like a big rubber stick. No, you are talking about a food processor.

If you look, it's like these, but they've got a big hole at the top, and you go, like these ones, these ones, with a big high bottom on them. I bet you when you click that, it says food processor. It says blender system. Okay, a blender system is a food processor. I would just be panicked every time I was pushing the big rubbery.

No, but the rubber sticks, it stops. It's only as high as just about. It's as wide as... So you can feed things in. How did we get here? I'm talking about Boxing Day sales.

So, first retail group managing director Chris Wilkinson has made predictions about this Boxing Day saying that because people have been told

to rein in their spending and the cost of living is so high that people on Boxing Day who are putting on sales are going to make them better than ever. Try to lure us in. Because they're going to have a lot more stock because people haven't been buying it?

It's like flirting as well. Right. No, no, I can't. No, I'm trying to be good. Come on. 60% off. No, I can't. I can't. And't and yeah also we 65

69 Nice I'll do it because it's nice You know just When you were talking about appliances You know what never really took off that I thought would of The toaster that also poached the eggs What the hell is that

It was a toaster and on the end you could pop a couple of eggs in. And it would poach the eggs. Where would the eggs come out? It sat on the end of the toaster. Oh. A little tray or something. No, just two. You know those things that you pop in the microwave and you poach your eggs in it?

It just looks like an old school oven top egg poacher. Oh, no, here's one. Savebarn. Where's that? I know where that is. It's in Penrose. They listen to the show. Hello, Oh, no, here's one. Savebarn. Where's that? I know where that is. It's in Penrose. They listen to the show. Hello, good morning.

Welcome to the show, Savebarn. They've got one. It's just loading. $69. Nice. It's a toast and egg, two in one, bread toaster and egg cooker. And you see, I need two eggs. Well, it only does one.

No, I need two eggs. Well, if you've got two pieces of toast, what are you going to split the egg between? I don't go two poached eggs per piece of toast, too. Yeah. If you've got two pieces of toast, what are you going to split the egg between? I don't go two poached eggs per piece of toast too. Yeah. If I was having two pieces of toast, I'd need four poached eggs. You're a protein boy.

Yeah. He loves his games. What can I say? So yeah, the prediction is that the Boxing Day sales, they say more epic than ever. This isn't good, is it? Which is great because if we don't find a suit for this wedding, Boxing Day it is.

I need a ninja blender system. A ninja blender system. And I need a retractable hose. Yeah, you do. That's mine. I'm looking for a retractable hose. That can be your Boxing Day sale. Also, the only reason you're getting this blender is for margaritas, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Because my neutral bullet doesn't quite do them the same. You killed it. Vitamix. That's what I want is one of those big Vitamix. It's a thousand dollars! Dude! Is that why my sister got one of these? And she was like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then she's like, but if you sell,

if other people buy them, I was like, what you're talking about now is a pyramid scheme. But she spent some phenomenal amount of money on some Thermomix. Oh, yeah, yeah, Oh really? No, she got a Thermomix Oh yeah, they've got a big Are they the ones if you keep juicing it for long enough It soups it and heats it up?

What? Yeah, I know The name Thermo would indicate heat Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah Oh my god I tell you, the blender world and the food processor world is wild Nobody's made a better blender than the guy in the 2000s Who would blend things Oh my God. I tell you, the blender world and the food processor world is wild. Nobody's made a better blender than the guy in the 2000s who would blend things.

Oh, and he'd put golf balls in. Would you blend? Can it work? Yes. Will it blend? Can you blend it? And he'd put an iPhone in, the iPhone 3. And everyone was like, what? What a waste.

Wow. I'm not buying a $1,000 Thermomax. No. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You know, they're not all out there doing bloody ram raids. Baking methamphetamines and doing TikTok dances. Baking methamphetamines. Baking methamphetamines.

Fan bake or bake? Fan bake. And then if it hasn't crisped up on top, chuck it on a fan grill. Who's doing normal bake when there's fan bake? No one's normal bake. Those cookies you're eating. Hey, girls, those other days when you made the biscuits, that was just bake, not fan bake.

I was blown away. We've got the girls in the studio and they brought us cookies. Why are they not fan baking? Have you not told them about fan bake? No, because I think the bake... Half of them are fan baked. That's right, because that's right. August's biscuits have a slightly crispier texture

because it started on fan baked. But you want to slow bake your cookies so they've got a bit more of a crummy, powdery. You don't want to crust them up. They're soft. So fan baked maybe hurries it a little bit. Yeah. So there you go. Good cookies.

Don't fan bake your meat if it'll cook too quick. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to overdo it. So they're not all out there being bloody rat bags, scallywags, and dirty little bastards. There's these teenagers. There's these teenagers. Yeah. These Gen Zs.

There's some good amongst them. And one of them is 19-year-old Reuben Alabaster from Taihape who yesterday broke a record,

a 10-year-old record by the way, previously set by an Irishman who was in New Zealand at the time. Yeah. He shored, shorn, shored, shared.

Shored? 700. By the seashore? Was she sheared by herself? She shared woody sheep by the seashore. Yeah. He shared 746 lambs, beating the 744 lambs in an eight-hour sharing day. In eight hours?

This dude is a unit. So they break it up into four two-hour runs, half an hour morning tea, half an hour afternoon tea. Of course, got to have your cup of tea. Got to have your smoko. Got to have your smoko, probably a couple of clubs, maybe a scone from the kitchen. The ladies have bought a plate and an hour for lunch.

So he, in the first two-hour stint, did 188 sheep. Next one, 183, dropped five there. Made up for it next time, 187 and then 188 at the end. For a total of 746. That means he was doing 93 lambs an hour, which means every 42 seconds he was grabbing, shearing and dispatching a lamb down the chute. Wow. That is insane.

Oh my God, he must be so strong. Yeah. Sheep alike. He's a unit. He's been training for months, he said. He could do 100 lambs a day at 9 years old. At 9 years old he could do 100 lambs a day. Wow.

And then he went full time shearing at 16. I just get so, like, you know, the cuteness of lambs. I nine years old, he could do a hundred lambs a day. Wow. And then he went full-time shearing at 16. I just get so, like, you know, the cuteness of lambs. I'd be like, oh, I'm so cute. Sam, I'd be like, on their little cheeks. Look at you, you're so fluffy. And when they're on their backs, they're like, ehhh. So silly. Did they

say how many sort of nicks and cuts? No words on the nicks and cuts. No word on the nicks and cuts. No word on the nicks and cuts. How easy is it to nick a lamb? Have you ever sheared a lamb or a sheep? Yeah, when I was young I did. But only like, come here and give this a go. Too bloody slow.

Yeah. Get out of here. Because I've told you about this the first time I saw a woman's breasts was at the wool shed. Really? It was the fleeces. Were you shearing her? No, it was the fleeces. Really? It was the fleeces. Were you shearing her? No, it was the fleeces.

I walked in with the cordial. What's a fleece? So the fleeces are the ladies that grab the fleece and flick them. Right. And lay them out on that thing. Pick all the, like, grade it kind of on the fly. Yeah. And then pack it into those big sacks.

That get packed down and then sewn shut. It's a hell of a thing To watch a day In the sherry shed Why would a breast set up? Because so Wool Sheep's wool Has like little fibres in it

So before you do the fleecing You've got to put Sticky plasters over your nips Otherwise the The little fibres can get Into the hole on the nipple And cause blockages Or infection

What through a bar? Yeah Well it's just like A fibre glass it's just like a fiberglass. It's just like a thin fiber. It's like pink bats. And you're just out there all day flicking it and it's touching the area. So I walked in and she had her shirt up.

And I was carrying a thing of cordial in HR. It was like a little flag and a cordial in HR. I was walking and she turns and she looks at me and I look at her and that was when I knew I was a red-blooded

heterosexual man. Yeah, wow. You never forget that memory. My grandad just, I like laughed. I just got this weird memory of him turning and him just being like,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. There he is. The boy's become a man. The boy's become a man. Today's our day. He becomes a man. Right. So there wasn't much shearing done that day. Oh, no, they got to shearing.

Oh, they were used to seeing her, babe. What are they called? Fleeces. We always called them fleeces. Yeah, they're a member of the shearing gang. I'm just sort of Googling fleeces nipple preparation. Probably just a plaster, I'd say. No, it's got some weird listings, yeah.

Yeah, but the old boys up there, they didn't have anything covering their nips. No. They had a singlet on, always had a singlet on. Yeah. Wow. What's the guy's name who's won this record? Ruben. Well done, Ruben.

Ruben Alabaster. Congrats. A bloody legend. Absolute legend. Out there, you know, giving a big thumbs up to Gen Z. Yeah. The rest of them,

I don't know, what's Carmen been up to this week? Bloody playing Animal Crossing on her Nintendo Switch? Yeah, probably. Ram raiding a Lick-a-King? Yeah. What have you achieved?

You got a switch ring about not being able to afford a house but still spending money on avocados? What are you doing? Lots of work, actually. I'm working at home.

I've been working since I was 14 years old. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I have a method to share. Okay. Is it the crystal method? No, and it's not baked. Weird late 90s music reference there. I apologise.

It's not the crystal method. This is called the whisper method. The whisper method. It is about the whisper method. The whisper method. It is about how, if you've got a resolution for 2023, have you guys thought of any, I want to da-da-da-da-da in 2023? Mine's prioritise sleep. Yours is what? Prioritise my sleep.

Easier said than done. It's weird, but that is easier said than done. You can be ready for bed at 7 o'clock at night, and then somehow it's 9.30. Yeah, I know. And you're still on a laptop searching. Thanks, Netflix. Yeah, thanks.

Well, if you think of something you want to achieve in 2023, Vaughan, I know you've been itching to run another marathon. So that's your 2023. Fletch just wants to find a lovely wife. Just wants to find a nice, lovely wife. You know that biological clock's ticking, Fletch. Yeah, it is. My ovaries are...

Tell you what. Oh, no, no, no. You don't have ovaries. Oh, is this why it's not happening? I've just been trying and trying and trying. Maybe not my children are here, but I think we need to talk about your method later. I think we do.

Okay, so Fletch wants to have a baby. Vaughn wants to run a marathon. Okay. I want to go to Japan. You just said prioritise sleep. Why are you having too many? Japan's so much more exciting. It's so much more exciting. So much more exciting.

Okay, so this is called the whisper method. So get your goal ready. So you get your goal. Firstly, you want to decide what you want to manifest. Oh my God, this isn't some secret. So you're manifesting a child into your life. No. You're manifesting a marathon under your face.

Can I do a marathon? I want a little tractor. I want to do, yeah. Vaughan wants a little tractor. Is it allowed to be material goods? I want to win Lotto. You can manifesting a marathon under your face. Can I do a marathon? I want a little tractor. I want to do, yeah. Vaughn wants a little tractor. Is it allowed to be material goods? I want to win Lotto. You can have a little tractor. You want to win Lotto.

Yep. And I want some like nice Zoe and Morgan earrings. No, I feel like we've gone too material and not enough spiritual. Okay, I want to source a deeper connection with my mother. Okay. You already have a fairly... You have a great connection with your mother. Let's see how far we can take it. Okay, so you simply sit in a quiet place.

You clear your mind and you picture the person that can help make your goal happen. So for you, it could be, who makes little tractors? John Deere, Kabuto. John Deere. Yeah, Kyoto. For you, it's the Lotto Commission of New Zealand. Yep.

And for me, it depends on my goal. Or Sonia could be Sonia. She reads out the numbers, doesn't she? Sonia Gray. Yeah. You're not allowed to manifest Sonia Gray. I want to manifest Sonia Gray. No, you're not allowed to manifest Sonia Gray. And then to manifest Sonia Gray. No, you're not allowed to manifest Sonia Gray.

And then you can talk to her about the motto. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Two for one. You're thinking of John Deere. You're thinking of Sonia Gray. Okay. Then you want to pitch yourself leaning into the ear of that person. Sonia.

Your nose to ear of Sonia Gray. Wow, okay. A nose to ear of Mr. John Deere. I feel inappropriate. And you have to whisper deeply what you want into their ear. Whisper aloud three times into their ear what you want to happen.

Three times. Okay. Wait, so I'm imagining. Sonia, I want to win Lotto. Sonia. Sonia, I want to win Lotto. Sonia, I want to win Lotto. Wait, and she's whispering back now. What is she saying? She said she doesn't pick the numbers. I don't pick the numbers.

Tell her I say I. No, Vaughn, get out of his manifestation. You're interrupting it. If he doesn't pick the numbers, he can at least put the good word in for me. You're interrupting it. Oh, I'm not getting what I want. Sonia just said you're being a pest. Oh, now, why'd you go and do that?

Why'd you make me a pest there? You made me whisper to her. Sonia's leaving. Sonia's leaving. God damn it. Sonia's left. Not only have you balled it up for yourself, but you've stuffed his manifestation.

Sonia's driving away on a little tractor. Sonia, come back. She's gone. Well, if this was to go successfully, you then visualize yourself confidently walking away, knowing that the person is going to do what you asked. And it's important they say that you've got no doubt in your mind.

Impossible. It's going to give you the numbers. This is a bit rubbish. I'm a little whipped out. I love that at the end it says, now open your eyes and viola, you're on your way to success. Now, did they mean voila? Voila. Because a viola is a slightly larger violin. How do you spell voila?

V-O-I-L-A. Voila. They spell it V-I-O-L-A. Viola! Unless they were manifesting a viola. They could have been. Also, I think we went to, as I said, too materialistic. But if you had like a spiritual thing.

Yes. If it was like if it was like a deeper connection with one's mother and you imagine whispering in your ear in your mum's ear I'm gonna have

a deeper connection with you so your your whisper's off listen mum mum mum I'm gonna have

a deeper connection I can't whisper you gotta do it softly this is my I can't do a sexy whisper. Why are you whispering sexily to your mother? I can't do anything other than a pretty whisper. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. CEO of Twitter, Elon Musk, ran a poll on Twitter saying, should I still be in charge of Twitter? And people voted no. He said he was going to stick by the outcome of the poll. He didn't, did he?

But he has not. So I have compiled a list of the top six other people that he should give a turn to being the CEO of Twitter. Okay. Equally as, you know, internationally loved as Elon Musk himself. Number six on the list, Joe Rogan. Why not?

Hey, huge following already. Yeah. The guy loves sound opinions and information. He does. He does. He loves it. He loves it. He runs it all, you know,

by scientists and stuff first. Number five on the list of the top six other people to have a go at being Twitter CEO. Kanye West. Why not? Why not? Because Elon Musk banned him again. Like he let him back on and then did he ban him only like a week

or so ago after the latest outburst? What happened to free speech, man? What happened to free speech? man? What happened to free speech? He's lost it, eh? He's gone. Ooh, yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other people that can have a go at being Twitter CEO, Vladimir Putin.

Why not? He's sort of busy. Is he? Yeah. Well, he doesn't seem to be doing much. He just left Russia for the first time. Yeah. Oyster on the news last night, he went to Belarus.

Yeah, why didn't they shoot him out of the sky? He's a little fellow, isn't he? He's a little man. He's a little fellow. He's got Napoleon syndrome. I think if you asked him his height, he'd say six foot something,

but he's definitely five, nine tops. Oh, wow. Tops. He Googled his height. Yeah. I think it would be hard to find the actual height online.

Yeah, I don't think he'd allow it. He wouldn't let anyone measure him. Mind you, he has to get those suits made. 5'7", estimated? Yeah. We have no choice but to stan a short king.

Stan a short king. Number three on the list of the top six other people that could have a go at being Twitter CEO are Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. Yeah, they could give it a red hot go. What else are they doing? Yeah. That'd be smooching. That'd be a lot of smooching. God, this list is it a red hot go. What else are they doing? Yeah. That'd be smooching.

That's a smooching. God, this list is just a list of people that you probably wouldn't care if they were not here, right? Number two on the list of the top six other people to give a go at being a Twitter CEO, Nick Cannon. Why not? Might keep him off whoever he's trying to impregnate at this very minute. I know. What did you say he had how many kids in six months? Four kids in six months this year.

To four different women. Or was one of them twins? No, that was Mariah many, many years ago. He's an impregnator. He's a breeder, yeah. And number one on the list of the top six other people

that have a go at being Twitter CEO, Britney Spears. Why not? I would love to see that. I'm pro. I'm pro-Brett. Britney Spears. Oh, that's good. There see that. I'm pro. I'm pro-Brett. Twitney Spares. Oh, that's good.

There you go. There's the working title for her if she's ever CEO. That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, Christmas. A number of days away, aren't we? And when I think of Christmas, the last thing I think about is getting it on.

That's what I was thinking too. It's so far down my list of things associated with Christmas. Normally because you're too full, eh? So full. Well, we're going to see if that is true or if it's not, what we can do with our very best friend, Morgan Penn, resident sexologist I always call you. Welcome. Thank you. I like that introduction as well.

Would you agree that Christmas is usually a sexless day? Yes. But I don't think it needs to be. I think it's so stressful. I feel like leading up to it, people are so stressed. It's all about food and family and by the time you've had Christmas lunch. And two bottles of Prosecco.

Yeah, nothing's going nowhere. Too much bubbly. But also, just I guess it's the end of the year, right? And you're finally like, oh, it's Christmas. We made it. Yeah. A lot of people are just exhausted. Yeah, but also think about like it is a holiday

and think about what happens to couples when they're on holiday. That is normally the time when sex tends to be a little bit more prevalent. And so if we kind of have the lens of that, like it's holiday, we have made it, let's rejoice. Yeah, but mum and dad aren't through the paper-thin wall that way when I normally go on holiday and my sister isn't in that room there. Everyone's going to hear the Herald Angels sing, you know what I mean?

There'll be a partridge in the pantry. There will be. Yeah, you're surrounded by family. Yeah, I know, but I think that that can add an element of fun and naughtiness. Like being a teenager again. Exactly. If we take it back to my teenage years, it was sexless. Oh, wow.

Not mine. Not mine. Not mine either. Not yours either. So what can we do to sort of spice up the festive season? Well, I guess first you need to make it a priority because that is the thing. We're all exhausted, like what you've just said.

So you have to decide that you're both on board for it. I think even if you go under the guise of like, okay, we're going to de-stress the situation, what does that look like? Is that massages? Like that's always going to feel good, right? And that's such a good gateway drug to actually

leading into something sexy. I'm willing to put in 30 seconds of massage before I expect sex. Oh 30! That's not doing anything. How long do you keep a key in the door?

You know you just get in there and open the door get in there. Oh he's bloody wrong there isn't he Morgan? This guy. Don't even get me started on foreplay. Do you know what that word means?

I only do it once. I don't do it four times. Oh, God. Okay, so couples are making it a priority. Once they've decided that that is something that they want to put into their holly jolly season, what next? I think if you've got children

and you normally have like strict rules around like TV watching or things like that, let that go out the window. Stick a long movie on. Totally. Yeah. Just give yourself whatever you need to have some space because also that is what's like your time pour

around that time of year. You're preparing food, you're wrapping parcels, all those kinds of things. So just like yes, yes that's where I will be. Yeah, so just put the movie on and run away and like find your little gap, okay? Sometimes

even find your little gap. Sometimes though, even the idea of not having enough time could be fun to work with. Yes, we love a quickie. We actually do because that adds to the excitement.

It takes off the pressure. Vaughan, that would be right up your alley, I think, a quickie. Is there for a good time, not a long time. Yeah. I one day hope to have a longie rather than a quickie. Quickie's a kind of my specialty. Oh, right. Quickie's a kind of my specialty.

Okay, we can work on, that's something we can work on. Okay. So find yourself a little corner, a little time, remove distractions, aka kids. Yeah.

A lot of the time. If you are like in a relationship where you don't have to really worry about people being around or kids like that, then you can get real saucy and real fun. If someone's out, you can wrap yourself nude and wrapping paper when they come home. It's unwrap me, baby.

You're under the tree. Just put yourself under the tree and yell out, in here. I just had an image of Fletch with a little bow on, entirely nude, but curled up in a ball under his little Christmas tree, just waiting for someone to arrive. That would be pretty cute. I like this idea, though. Wrap yourself up.

You are the gift. Yeah, totally. You know, and also, obviously, there is so much food around. Play with the food. Food play is so underrated because feeding each other is such an art of seduction even like a

slice of ham sure you're not Jewish slap slap ham ham spanking okay

I was thinking more your scorched almonds than your bits and pieces and then of course the gravy you could pour gravy all over somebody

what a bloody mess that'd be I think more chocolate sauce. I was thinking strawberries. Go for your sweets. More desserts. The cream and, yeah, the dessert side. Be careful with those scorched almonds.

A spoon of rifle. I was like, where are you putting your scorched? I've been gravy shamed. I didn't expect it from this crowd. I thought I was in a supportive area with friends. Let's be honest. I've been gravy shamed. There is never enough gravy on Christmas to be pouring it over yourself afterwards.

That's true. Well, during summer break, every day we will have a podcast out. And one of our podcasts features Morgan Penn. And it's a podcast. We can say what we want. Yeah. If there's one thing you know about podcasts, we are unhinged. It's a juicy podcast, this one.

So be sure to look out for that over the summer break. If people want to follow you, Morgan, Instagram or online, where do they go? Yeah, follow me on Instagram. It's a good time. She's a grammar. Morgan, the sexologist. But if you're really keen on working with me one-on-one, you can go to my website,

morganpenn.co.nz. Well, great. Hot tips. As usual from Morgan Penn, thank you so much. My pleasure. Merryenn.co.nz. Well, great. Hot tips. As usual from Morgan Penn. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Merry Christmas. Pleasure as always. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So apparently there is a rule in Monopoly and it's in the very early description of the game.

You know, early rule book. Right. Of Monopolyopoly which is when someone lands, this is like making Twitter's going nuts on this because they're like no. When someone lands on a property in Monopoly and they don't buy it, it

goes to auction for any player to buy. It's in the rules. I've never ever in my entire life even heard that rule. If you land on a property and you don't want to purchase, you just say no thanks and move on. Is this like a fast game of Monopoly rule or is this the standard rule?

No, it's the standard rule. It's a standard rule. Right. And you start an auction. Right. So the person who didn't want to buy it, I assume they take on the role as the auctioneer. Right.

So you go, it's worth $200 and I don't want it. And someone goes, okay, I'll buy it for $180. Yeah. And someone else is like, well, I'll actually buy it for $190. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll buy it for $200. I'll pay the $200. I'll pay $210.

I'll pay blah, blah, blah. And then it goes. Because then if someone lands on a property you really need to sort of complete your flush. Here's the official rule. To auction a property, the bidding starts at $1 and anyone can increase the bid by any amount. When no one else wants to bid anymore,

the auction ends in the highest bidder pays the bank. Oh, wow, so you might get a steal. Pro tip. Always pay at least half of the original price, any less than that will allow a play to mortgage the property for a profit. So they could be like, buy, immediately mortgage money in your pocket. Cheeky bastards. Oh, but then render that property useless, basically.

I found this article. This was updated on November 23rd, 2022, obviously ahead of the holiday season. The official monopoly rules that everybody gets wrong. Number two, you don't get any money for landing on free parking. Thank you. No, you do. You get $200.

Well, it might sound like a... That's go past go. That's go. Well, it may sound like a fun rule to throw all your fines into the centre of the board and win them back if you land on free parking. This is not in the official rules and it's a really bad idea. Why?

Because someone can just get, like, such a huge boost. Yeah, can get, like like $2,000. And then basically end the game. Yeah. To reach a conclusion, players must become bankrupt. The official Monopoly rules are carefully balanced so that as you're collecting money from passing go and the like, you're also losing money to find.

So if one player automatically gets this insane injection, it's like daddy's come and bailed you out of financial trouble. Yeah, because we play that way And then that's how me and Aaron have fought before Because when you're playing just two people If one person gets that Never play two-person Monopoly I know, because one person can just absolutely dominate the board

And the other one's just like paying until they die It must be hard for Aaron to play Monopoly with you Because your parents pay all the utilities still Yeah, they pay the utilities. They get me out of jail. And all parking is free parking. All parking. And driving in a bus lane.

I haven't paid that yet. Someone say another rule. You're also not allowed to loan money to other players. We never play this rule because we played cutthroat Monopoly. I want my brother to lose. Yeah, exactly. So you shouldn't be lending anybody any money.

What else? That's where you take their property, right? Yeah. There's no such thing as rent immunity. Sometimes players might decide to team up and say, you can land on my properties for free if I can land on yours for free. Oh, no. No, that's not.

No, no, no. It's an all-out war. Yeah, no, there's none of that. Don't forget to trade. People shy away from trading. It's the essence of the game. Waiting until you acquire properties naturally is boring. You could easily find yourself in a situation

where no one can complete a set. So don't be afraid to offer trades and to negotiate. It can be risky, but it adds a whole new level. No, because the minute they get all three greens, the greens are, you land on green, you're out of the game. Yeah. Don't give them the greens or the blues. No, it's redotonous. No, because the minute they get all three greens, the greens are, you land on green, you're out of the game. Yeah. Don't give them the greens or the blues. No, it's red and blue.

No, blue is the most expensive. Blue is the big dog. You'd almost be, if you were going to give someone a blue, you'd want the entire first strip. Yeah. You'd want all the browns. Yeah, what if I, I'll give you two browns for two blues. Yeah, but then you land on a brown and you pay a rent and it's $10.

Yeah, I know. You sure have it. It's cheaper, but if you've got that whole strip, they have to land on it each round. Yeah. And if they land on it because you've traded away, you've got some cash in the bank. You're hucking hotels on all of these things.

That becomes a deadly strip. Well, now we know his bloody strategy, don't we? Don't we? Slumlord. I'm not giving you any of the browns. I'm slumlord. I buy the slummies. You are a slumlord. And'm not giving you any of the money. I'm slumlord. I buy out the slummies. You are a slumlord.

And I control public transport. I used to love getting all the railway stations. Yeah, same. And the utilities. And the utilities. Because they're underlooked. Yeah. $200 and you're like,

It's a lot of money. You can't chuck a hotel on them though. No, I know, but they are quite regular. Know what can and can't be traded is rule six. Did you know it's not just properties that can be swapped? You can also trade with cash and even get out of jail free cards. Okay. You can't trade houses and hotels, though.

The only way to get rid of those is to sell them back to the bank for half of what you paid for them. Only trade for profit, not for pity. If you want to win a monopoly, you've got to treat the game like it's your business. That means not trading just because you feel sorry for someone. Oh, there's no room for feeling sorry for someone in a game. No, this is capitalism.

I have before when I've wanted the game to last a little longer, and I can feel it coming to a close because I'm dominating. So I'll be like, I'll chuck you a bone. Don't show a down dog, you jugular. You got to stomp that thing. The banker must not steal from the bank. I mean, that's a rule, but maybe, Fletch, you need to listen to that. Oh, I was always the banker.

Did you steal? And I always won. Of course I did. Were you the banker? I'm a skimmer. It can be tempting to dip into the bank's money to top up your own. Totally. Can be tempting. Yeah. Absolutely. It's just banks in real life, you know? I'm just... Yeah. It's just life. In Monopoly,

you can only roll the dice and move your token when it's your turn. However, players don't often realise that there are lots of things they can do in between other players' turns. You don't need to wait for your turn to mortgage or unmortgage properties. Buy and sell houses and hotels. That's interesting. I always thought you had to do that on your turn.

No, but you could just go like, I see that you're about to approach and then I'm going to shove a whole bunch of stuff on there. Yeah, you can. You can also initiate and take part in trades when it's not your turn. If you want to do any of these things, don't wait. You can take action during somebody else's turn. You don't need to wait until the dice are in your hand.

Wow. There are only 32 houses and 12 hotels in an official game and Monopoly set. And once they're gone, they're gone. You cannot buy any more until someone sells theirs back to the bank. If multiple players want to buy the last house or hotel at the same time, the banker must start an auction. But they love a bloody auction. They love an auction. They start at $10 and anyone can increase

the bid by any amount. You don't need to follow turn order. It's just a full-blown. Alright, well. If you don't ask for rent, you don't get it. So if you land on someone's thing and they're like not paying attention. You don't get it. You don't get the rent. You've got to ask for rent. Wow. And then if you moved and they didn't notice and then they noticed, it's. You don't get it. You don't get the rent. You've got to ask for rent. Wow. And then if you moved and they didn't notice

and then they noticed, it's too late. Yeah. Brilliant. When trading mortgage property, the new owner must pay the fees associated. So many rules. I feel like I've been playing it wrong this whole time. Well, good luck.

I don't think that's going to avoid the family fights this Christmas. Yeah, I reckon just don't do it. Yeah, up in the board. Send them scattering. Up in the whole table this Christmas. Yeah, I reckon just don't do it. Yeah, up in the board. Send them scattering. Up in the whole table, mate. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Serious Meat Poll. Serious Meat Poll. It is so serious, serious, serious. It's a serious meat poll. Ser. It's a serious little meatpole. Serious meatpole. Serious meatpole. Yes, that was a...

Serious meatpole. To redo that on the fly, but a serious meatpole taking over silly little pole today. The poll that was conducted about what meat New Zealanders eat on Christmas Day was poorly done. Well, it was big red meat, wasn't it, that did the poll? I love lamb. It's one of my favourites. Oh, me too, me too. But I don't have it on Christmas.

They said that that was the number one Christmas meat. Yeah. How good's a cold meat? A cold lamb? It's yum, yum, yum. Till my daddy takes the tuber away. I don't know why I bitch poised that. We asked which is your preferred Christmas meat.

Let's get to the bottom of this. I was surprised by the results still, though, because I thought chocon. The options were chicken, ham, lamb, beef. Lamb and beef were lumped together. Yeah. And other. 53% the winner, ham.

The Christmas ham. You've got to have a ham ham You don't really eat ham I mean you have a shaved ham But you don't have a big leg of ham Too many other times in the year Maybe like a 21st Yeah maybe Oh yeah

Or a buffet somewhere Yeah big buffet You end up at a buffet Alright ham Second place at 23% Was the combo red meat combo Lamb and beef Huh

But then that's beef and lamb put together. I really thought chicken would have been one or two. Chicken at 13%. 13! Other at 11. Why wasn't turkey on the poll? Because turkey is a silly meat. You don't ever buy a turkey any other time of the year.

Why are you making a wild choice on Christmas Day? I love it! Why not? We had quite a few votes too. You got a calculator open? Hold on. Hey Siri. Oh my god, this isn't going to work. What's 1,100 plus 4,309

plus 1,900 plus 881? It's 8,190. We had four times. How many people were surveyed in that poll yesterday? 1,. We had four times. Oh, how many people were surveyed in that poll yesterday? 1,000. Over eight times. Yeah.

People should come to us for these things. Yeah, we're pretty much... We actually do. Yeah, we conduct scientific research. We would blow Colmar Brunton out the water. Yeah, we would. Should we do a preferred prime minister's poll? I don't know if I want to.

We can call it our big, serious political poll. Yeah. Maybe next year when the election's on. Yeah, we can run our own. Let's leave David Seymour off because I hate him. Hate's a strong word. But you really, really, really don't like him. What did she call him?

An arrogant prick. Yeah, he's an arrogant prick. I mean, no one disagreed. I can't wait for the three people that like David Seymour to text in. Feedback on changing channels. How am I supposed to explain this to my kids? Tell them what an arrogant prick is. Chevelle, Chevelle.

People have lovely names. Chevelle says, we usually have chicken, turkey, ham, seafood salad and crayfish. I am gout by the sounds of things. And where's our invite to your Christmas day? That sounds amazing. Crayfish should and crayfish. Oh, yo. I am gout by the sounds of things. And where's our invite to your Christmas day? That sounds amazing. Crayfish should, crayfish. There's just not enough.

Is there not enough? That's why it's expensive, right? Yeah. It's hard to get and there's not enough. Yeah. I've never cooked a crayfish. There's so many ways to do it. I actually know a spot.

They just, I don't know who, but someone keeps them in all these crates and you just go and open them up and take them. Oh. No, that's like the fish market, right? You can't go there. No, you've got to put on your snorkel and stuff. Oh, and you go down. Yeah, I go down.

Right. You're robbing somebody else's crate pot. You've got to be careful. You'll get shot for less. You really will get shot for less. Emma says, hey, guys, what about turkey? Looking for turkey with stuffing is what keeps me going 364 of the days of these years. Wow, okay.

Yeah, you've got to have turkey. Turkey with sausage stuff. That famous Sproul sausage stuffing is getting made this. Dude, it is getting made on Sunday. Ham, 100%. For the love of God, don't trim off the fat. It's the best part, says Nicole. Yeah.

Okay. No, I trim off the fat. It's the best part, says Nicole. Yeah. Okay. No, I trim off the fat. Not the fat, the skin. Oh, you take the skin off but leave the fat on underneath. I read a trick on how to get the skin off easy, but I can't remember what it is now. Okay.

Vegetable peel? It's like a blanch. Oh, okay, right. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just separates it out. Wood stuffing. I just had a thought. Go on. Wood stuffing.

You know your stuffing recipe that you make. Sausage stuffing. It's sausage, meat, and bread. Yeah. Would it be a yummy stuffing if it was brioche bread? You know that real fluffy? It's a bit sweet. Is it too sweet and fluffy?

No, because you want stale bread. Stuffing's like what people used to do with their leftover stale bread. Oh, right. Because it needs to absorb all the liquid. Yeah, but I'm just saying brioche bread could be real yum. No, I think it would turn into glug. It won't hold. Yeah, sourdough would be good.

Yeah. Annie says beef wellington, baby. Beef wellington is like a big posh sausage roll. Okay. Absolutely. Sounds amazing. Thank you, Annie. Ash, we do a Chipotle stuffed duck every year. A Chipotle

duck? I'm a hoisin duck, man. Hoisin duck. That's just sugar sauce, so you know that, eh? What are you doing? See yourself out, sir. Soy sauce and brown sugar, right? Yum!

A Chipotle stuffed duck. Yum. I've got a duck in the freezer. I'm defrosting it at some stage of summer. I do feel for the vegans and the vegetarians. You could do a chipotle stuffed tofu. You could do a stuffed... Stuffed courgette.

Pumpkin. Or what do you have? What's your Christmas Main part of Christmas As a vegetarian? Well, usually it's some Form of like Vegetarian sausage

But this year Corn Q-U-O-R-N Which is like a Vegetarian Fake meat brand With a big lump of nuts It's got no juice

It's got no juice It's a dry piece of shit No, it's yum They've just come out With a roast It's so yum I. It's got no juice. It's a dry piece of shit. No, it's yum. They've just come out with a roast. It's so yum. I had it the other day. Corn roast. Yeah.

It looks like a little roll of dog meat. Why is anything vegetarian a roll or a roll? You're having a chub for Christmas Day. It looks like a chub. But it doesn't taste like a chub. You're having a dog chub for Christmas Day. Good luck. Good on you. A dog chub. But it doesn't taste like a chub. You're having a dog chub for Christmas Day. Good luck.

Good on you. Thank you for saving the planet for the rest of us. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Cooked the vegetarian stuff at the Christmas party. I was like,

how do I know this is cooked? How do you know when it's cooked? It's already cooked. Yeah, it's already cooked. So what, it just needs to be warmed through? Yeah. Madness.

Melinda says, crayfish power and fresh venison. Oh my God. That is one rich Christmas day. What the heck? Enjoy the gout. Tash says, tofu. Not kidding.

That's not funny, Tash. That's not funny. Don't. That's not funny, Tash. Brisket. Sausage Tash. Chloe says, brisket this year. Ham is served everywhere, so we try to go switch things up with low and slow on the brisket.

I must say we are also doing a small ham for the boomers though. Right. Did anyone say sizzlers? The double cheese? No one said sizzlers.

Okay. Interesting. I didn't get sent that feedback. Melissa said all of them. That's good. Karina says I heard Vaughan

talking about geese. We have geese on the farm and people come to us each year saying, can we buy a goose off you for Christmas dinner? They're very popular even here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Geese. Oh, yuck.

Yuck. They're a meaty bird. I bet it all tastes very gamey. They're a meaty bird. Somebody said, what about a Turk ducking? Chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. What? Like a babushka roast.

Yeah. Shove it inside. To ducken looks so off, eh? It looks so off. Do you debone and then roll? Yeah, everything's deboned. A chicken's not small enough to fit inside a duck. It's all deboned.

Yeah, I'm sure. Challenge accepted. Said the duck. Said what? What did you say? My children are here. How dare you speak like that? Challenge accepted.

It won't fit in there with a bone in it. There you go. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's Christmas time. And I was trying to send a couple of cards to our nieces. Oh, right. Okay. I was like, who does cards anymore?

Well, we're doing Stingy Christmas, and I was like, I can't see nothing. Yeah. You don't want to be the grinchy auntie. Yeah, there's like, you know, there's a prezzy card in it, but it's humble. Anyway, so I got a card. What, from old Aunty Moneybags? I don't think they know me as Aunty Moneybags.

I'm definitely not. Aunty Moneybags? No. Give me more Aunty Moneybags. Give me more. How much was the Prezi card for? 30? That seems fair.

That seems fair, yeah. Thank you. But cheap from Aunty Moneybags though. I'm just going to... I gave my nieces more. Did you? Did you know Aunty Moneybags? Not an orphan, by the way. Did you know from Auntie Moneybags, though. I'm just going to, I gave my nieces more. Did you? Did you know Auntie Moneybags? Not an orphan, by the way.

Did you know Auntie Moneybags? Is she going to buy a new kitchen? No, that's why she's not Auntie Moneybags anymore. Auntie Moneybags could have bought one less bottle of Prosecco and upped it to $45 each. You could have. No. Auntie Moneybags, more, more, more. You've got no children and a big disposable income. You could have. Hmm. No. Auntie money bags. More, more, more.

No, no, no. You've got no children and a big disposable income. I don't. Auntie money bags. I disposed of the income. Anyway, so I wrote these cards out for the girls. I got their address and I put it on the envelope. And then I went to the post shop and was like,

I just don't know how to do this anymore. Yeah. How dumb is the post shop? I know. I was standing there with these cards like, now what? It makes me feel dumb when I go there because I'm like, excuse me, what one do I need? Yeah.

And they're like, what? Where are you sending it? I'm like, Morrisville. Where's that? Just by Hamilton. So in New Zealand? Yes. How much is it now to send a letter?

I don't know. It was near two bucks last time I did it. Are you kidding me? For one tiny little envelope. I panicked and I bought a courier bag. For cards? Yeah, and I just chucked them in. But then it's kind of good though because if it's got Prezi cards in it,

it's a default track and trace, right? Yes. A standard letter now is $1.70. Didn't it used to be like 40 cents? Yeah, like 10 years ago. But this is what I mean. I panicked and I didn't know there weren't stamps around and then I was like, are stamps still a thing?

But they sell you stamps at the counter. You know, you buy an envelope. It's prepaid. You're just doing one. Otherwise, you buy a roll of stamps. Yeah. No, but the envelope came with the card. Now, that was from Look Sharp. So that didn't have postage on it.

Oh, well, Auntie Moneybags. They don't care. They're going to get chucked out anyway. So I got a dollar card from Auntie Moneybags. And so I panicked and I was like, I didn't want to

ask like, hey, to Christchurch please. So yeah. Is that how you deal with post shop people? You throw things

at them and say to Christchurch. To Christchurch. Whereabouts? I don't know you peasant. You find out. I'm Auntie

Moneybags. So yeah, I just bought a little courier bag and I just filled it in and I dropped it in the box and that was that. So both of them

went in the courier bag. Both of them went in. And probably cheaper. Probably cheaper. And at least you get tracking with that. I know. But it's just strange. Is it going to make it?

Yeah, they said it'll arrive today. Okay. I know, I thought I'd missed the cutoff too. I thought it was last week. It is the 21st, by the way. I know, I thought I'd missed the cutoff too. I thought it was last week. It is the 21st, by the way. I know, yeah.

That's... I think if you weren't posting by yesterday or today... You're not getting it. ...Express, you're not getting it, no. No. Couriers are absolutely under the pump as well. All right, let's... Little tip of the hat.

Oh, tip of the hat. Oh, shall we? A tip of the hat. A tip of the hat. A shout out to the couriers that are making Christmas happen. Forgive each courier for one indicators on

double park one just one one only just one one only he's so generous this time of the year

don't take the piss you know what I mean don't take the piss just because you're in a bright yellow van yeah we can't be having it bright yellow van

isn't that a post you anti money bags are so out of touch it's a gold it's red it's more of a canary oh is it red we're getting red Isn't that a post? You anti-money bags are so out of touch. It's a gold. It's red. It's more of a canary. Oh, is it red? We're getting red.

Courier post. No, the NZ Post ones are yellow, aren't they? No, they don't have yellow ones anymore. Oh, I thought they were yellow. They don't have full yellow ones anymore. Oh, no, they're red and blue now, eh? Well, it depends which company. NZ Post is red.

With white writing. I just get Jeeves to answer the door. I never see the courier van. Jeeves. Auntie Moneybags. Auntie Moneybags has the doorbell being rung. Fetch my package. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's the best of Hayley's version. Oh! Songs sung with different lines. Well, our best Hayley's versions. Oh! Songs sung with different lines. Well, our best Hayley's versions of the year. Yeah, I quite liked this one, so I've chucked it on the list. We're getting a brand new version on Friday to wrap up the year. Indeed.

Have you been working on that? I, boy, will I. Anyway, this one I think, I believe was written when we were, tourists can come, no checks, no quarantine, no vaccine passes. When did they, they did that in October? They opened up to the world? Maybe. October, I think, was when they fully opened to everybody. And it is, it's living in the central city in Auckland.

It's really nice to see tourists back. Like the cruise ships are in, giving everybody COVID most days. You're back to wolf whistling out your window, aren't you? The tourists. Yeah. That is, I tell you. Hey, mamacita! And I'm like, you can't do that.

You know that's not true because this is how I whistle. Can you not whistle? Nah. No, I can do, hang on. What happened to that dog? That's not a whistle. Yeah. So I try, but the tourists just don't hear me. Right. Yeah. Well,

I wrote this song as a kind of welcome back. Like, here's what New Zealand has to offer. Yep. And I wanted to choose an iconic New Zealand song, and so I did. So instead of How Bizarre This Is, Haere Mai. It's been a while since it's been on air.

That's a good one. This is Hailey's version, How Bizarre, Haere Mai. After three years isolated, Haere Mai. You won't have to sleep in that grass hut There's so much to discover On July 31st You'll probably land in Auckland though Which is by far the worst Hide-a-my Hide-a-my Hide-a-my So get yourself a rental

And head on down the mile If it's 5pm you'll be in traffic For a while But pretty soon you'll be in traffic for a while. But pretty soon you'll reach the greatest place you've ever gone. It's Gambling Garden, Bogantown. You're in the Tron. Hide in mine. You'll be fine. Try not to die.

Ooh, baby. Ooh, baby. Hamilton's crazy. Hamilton's crazy. Lots of pokies you can play. But if you take the gardens away, there's probably not much reason to stay. So head on your way. Now, if you're getting tired of driving and need a sweet fix, find a local dairy and get a one dollar mix or a double scoop of ice cream, some orange choc chip. Don't leave your scooter outside or neck minute, it'll be nicked. Some point you'll reach the capital which they say

you just can't beat. Go watch some weird buckets on iconic Cuba Street. At some point you will realise that wind doesn't go away. So screw you, Peter Jackson, and this mythical good day. Hide in mine. Time to fly. Say goodbye. Ooh, baby. Ooh, baby. The Cook Strait is way there. The Cook Strait is way there The Cook Strait is way there

Depending on the tide It's a really bumpy ride You might chunder over the side The inter-island is great Hold the hair of your mate I've added a verse here Now you're in the South Island Where I tell you what it's cold

No need to stop in Christchurch It's just pretty white and old If you're looking for a party Then keep on heading south Drive down Duterneden And set fire to a couch Hit the night and day and give a mince pie a go. But if it's after 3am, you might want to give that pie a blow. Ooh baby, ooh baby, Dunedin

is crazy. Dunedin is crazy. Every time you look around, there's a drunk guy on the ground. No policeman to be found, but it's still great. Ooh, baby. It's really long. New Zealand is crazy. New Zealand is crazy. Drink a glass of Chardonnay Then throw yourself out of a plane

Now go and book your holiday Cos New Zealand is great Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Box of Lazy Rich into the Box of Lazy That's Lazy, into the Box of Lazy That's Lazy, man Last week of shows

And we've asked you to do all the work for us on Instagram this week Yep Today we asked Well, yesterday we asked But today we give you the results of your worst hookup Your worst romantic liaison for 2022 Anonymous? Very anonymous, yes

First reply My worst hook up for 2022 was the guy who kissed like a lizard Maybe he just had a skinny little tongue Maybe he could flick his tongue right across a room and snatch up a little fly Gag Romantic

Yeah, well you know what Cher said, it's in his kiss Gag. Romantic. Yeah, well, you know what Cher said. It's in his kiss. Yeah. And of course, we have no choice but to listen to Cher. Oh, Cher's absolutely... She's our Jesus. She knows. She knows.

Cher is Jesus who walks among us. Yes. She doesn't walk among us. It's in his kiss. That's where it is. Oh, yeah. She doesn't walk among us It's in his case That's where it is Oh yeah I sent my future wife To hospital in a taxi

After an allergic reaction During our first Lovemaking session Always have an EpiPen For your first lovemaking session Why didn't you take Why didn't you take Your future wife to hospital

In a You put her in a taxi Was he drunk maybe Oh maybe they've been drinking Yeah maybe But I sent my Indicates we didn't go together Yeah maybe You put her in a taxi? Was he drunk, maybe? Oh, maybe they've been drinking. Yeah, maybe. But I sent my indicates we didn't go together. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, odd. And also, this is our first lovemaking session, and she's still locked in for future wife. Yeah. I think Sarn's allergy, this guy obviously knows his way around the lady this. Yeah, what was the allergic reaction to? Doesn't say. Latex, peanuts. He may have been eating copious amounts of shellfish. Oh, what was the allergic reaction to? Doesn't say. Doesn't say. Latex, peanuts. He may have been eating

copious amounts of shellfish. Oh, yeah. Or a peanut. Yeah. Or any of your, you know, your big allergies there. Fascinating. I invited a guy over

and after the act he immediately insulted the house with lines such as, hmm, interesting choice of... Oh! I probably wouldn't have gone those curtains with that wallpaper. Oh, yeah, no, I don't love those tiles. He was negging your home interior design.

Yeah, no, that's not good. No. But you didn't like it. The whole date was me picking him up from a party and dropping him home. That was my worst one of the year. He's used you for an Uber there. Yeah. God, it's rough out there,

isn't it? She's a rough, she's a wild ride. Yeah. He found 20 cents on the floor and yelled, on the floor is fair game. I laughed. He took the 20 cents home. 20 cents is 20 cents. You take a 20 cents home every day and by the end of the year,

you'll have $60. 60 bucks. Isn't that great? That's pretty cool. That's pretty good. That's really cool. Loaded. This grown ass man's underwear had the most horrific skin marks in it. Oh no!

As if he had used his underwear to wipe his ass. No! I spewed in my mouth a little and left. Oh, no. It's hard. You won't even be able to look at them in any other way. It's hard out there.

Once you see that. Somebody just messaged in. The two worst hookups I've had this year have been, both been Irish. Don't know if there's something in the water, but hoping there was an Irish guy out there to redeem the nation because the accent's just not cutting the mustard to make up for their shortfalls. Oh, well, what are the shortfalls?

Yeah, like, yeah, who cares? It's a sexy accent, isn't it? Just get him to read you a bedtime story. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right, read me some limericks. Yeah, primarily limericks. There was an old lady from, where was she from, eh?

I'm Cork. I bet she was from Cork. Tell me more. She loved to eat sausages of pork. Oh, yeah? But when she was starving, she, no. You just have a starving there. Yeah, starving.

I thought I was going to rhyme Marvin, but then how do you get there? You can't. Yeah, you can't. You just can't. So there you go. That's all the worst hookups. Well, and yeah, I guess any Irish people out there, lift your game. Yeah, step it up.

Sounds like you're letting the team down. Yeah, you've got a couple of feet draggers there that are really ruined for the whole team. Can't rely on the accent and your beautiful potatoes. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Can't rely on the accent and your beautiful potatoes. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Well, the last impossible phone-in topic for the year, and I'd say this year,

we've come close to not having any calls a couple of times. But I don't think we've had a complete impossible. I think we might have had one where we were like, oh, that's a version of what we were asking, but... But the aim is, I guess, to get no calls.

And I think today we'll either get no calls or we'll just hear from absolute crazies. Hey. Oh, hey. Hey. Hey. Don't you dare. This is a safe space for people to share,

and I want to hear some wild stories. So, don't look at me like that. Here we go. I want to know if you've been here before. There is a young boy. Been where before? Stay with me. Been here before?

Earth? Is that what you mean? If you have been on Earth before now. So, there is a young boy. He is 10 years old. And he believes, he has a very vivid memory of having lived before now. And he believes he is a reincarnation of a Hollywood actor. He remembers.

Which one? Vividly, life in Hollywood in the 1940s and 1950s, including being punched by Marilyn Monroe's bodyguards. He remembers this. Pest. He says he was Marty Martin, who was a Hollywood movie extra, who later became a very successful Tinseltown agent. Okay.

He says he remembers even when he died, his heart exploding and moving towards the light. He remembers all these details of Los Angeles from the 50s that you couldn't possibly know as a young 10-year-old boy. And he said, it's because I've been here before. So, like, his mum was like... How do we know he hasn't seen a documentary on this guy and he's just regurgitating it?

Well, he would say all this from a very young age and then the mum went to the library. Yeah, she, mum. I'm trying to get another role in a Hollywood movie, she. And I can't. I just went out last night and I got punched by Marilyn Monroe's bodyguard, she. Where's the toilet paper, Ma? She?

We're shot. Ma, what's for dinner? She? Well, he just remembered parts of Los Angeles that he's never been to before. Right. And then she would look through this book and be like, it's this place here. Explain that. Explain that.

This is what I get every time I'm like rolling my eyes at my mother-in-law and wife when they're talking about reincarnation. Explain that. But there are cases of this. And explain it. You explain it. It is pretty crazy when you hear of a baby or, you know, a young kid that's like, that says something. And you're just like, what? I watched a documentary and then when the kid got to a certain age, forgot it.

Like he'd never said it. Really? I say documentary. It's probably because the computer simulation hadn't reset that one. Yeah, maybe. Oh! Explain that. Explain that. Explain that.

Explain that. So this is what I want to know for our impossible phoner, which don't be afraid. Have you been here before? Are you a reincarnation? Explain that. Explain that. Explain that. You don't have to explain it.

You can just tell us what you believe. Are you going to take calls from people that have had a kid say something weird? Yeah, definitely. If your kid's been like, oh, yeah, no, I was here in the 1920s and I worked for this factory. I worked for Telly's. Yeah, toothpaste caps. Yeah. How do you know that?

Boring. I'd be like, darn memory. Oh, my God. I was a king. I was a king in Egypt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been here before?

I was a gold miner and I found a big deposit of gold and then all I remember is a sharp pick in the back and I turned around and it was my best friend. I'd be like, kid, where's the gold? He'd be like, take me to the gold. Take me to the gold. Okay, well, no one's calling. Any texts?

No, not yet. I think it's going to pop. No, but you've got to give these people time. Oh, yeah, because they need a bit of time to craft their stories. You can call anonymously, too, if you don't want to give your name. How do you? You're scaring them off. Have you been here before?

I'm not scaring them off. Oh, 800 dials. Have you been reincarnated? Very busy. This is ridiculous. Very busy week for the people who have been reincarnated. Because they've got to remember who to buy Christmas presents for and who was in their last life.

Yeah, be like, I've got to get one for... I've got to get my Nancy at Christmas. My Nancy's... I'm not buying any more. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, well, well, well. The last impossible

finder for the year and Hayley Jane Sproul asking the impossible. I want to know if you've been here before. We're talking about reincarnation. There's a young boy who's making the headlines

claiming he was a Hollywood actor in the 50s, she. And his mum claims he knows stuff that, you know. Yeah, like can identify places. He just simply couldn't know. And we asked you if you have a similar experience. And I tell you what, it's so far not impossible

because the phones are lighting up. Well, let's see. Cairo, good morning. Hi. Now, who's, is it you that's been here before? No, but my friend, I was on video call with her yesterday morning about it, just talking about this type of topic. And I had my baby with me.

And she was quite super spiritual and whatnot. And she was saying that if you look into someone's, like, it's either their left eye or their right eye. I don't want to misquote her knowledge. I've got both. And she's like, if you see the reflection, you can catch a glimpse of what they were in their past life. Oh, what a load of bullshit.

Hey, hey. Cairo. Cairo. Your name's Cairo. You could have been a pharaoh of Egypt. Yeah. Could have been. Maybe her parents just chose that.

But she was like, did you just see that in my baby, or Evie, her eye? And I was like, no. And she screenshotted me a picture of her, you know. And she was like, zoom in on that. And I was like, okay. And she said, do you see like her army hat? Like, you know, she must have been like, and I was like, okay. And she said, do you see like an army hat? Like, you know, she must have been like, and I was like, okay. All right.

This sounds like she's going to start asking for money. It sounds like her friend's going to be like. Her baby has been here before. Yeah. Yeah. But she was like zooming on the reflection and I was like, okay, I kind of feel like the Pac-Man head if you know what I mean. Not really an army hat.

Your baby used to be Pac-Man. A hungry baby. He ate quite a lot. And he was chasing the ghosts when they were blinking and then all of a sudden the blinking stopped and that ghost turned around and your baby is now... Explain that. I think she was a general

and then I was like, well, that's funny because her t-shirt at the moment says little boss and I don't know if you guys are fans but No. Hayley, how's funny because her T-shirt at the moment says Little Boss. And I don't know if you guys, you know, are fine. No. You're free. Hayley, how's this going so far? Aries is like the most bossy one ever. Right.

So she could have been a general in the army by the sounds of it. That's okay. Because your friends are a helmet shape and her eye reflecting and she was wearing a T-shirt that says Little Boss. This is undeniable. Because females aren't the weakest sex, of course. That's as good as science. Kyro, thank you so much for your call.

Kirsty, good morning. Welcome to the show. Good morning. Now, have you been here before, Kirsty? Kirsty, what's your star sign out of interest? Cancer. Same as Fletch. Same as me. You guys, there are risks you'll be

reluctant to take. Yep. Like making a pitch, attending an event, or approaching someone new, you'll be emboldened to make a move. The nerves don't disappear, they just get more manageable. Oh, lovely. That's lovely. Now, Kirsty, have you been here before? Kirsty's loving it. I have.

I have. So what is your previous life? So I used to have these dreams as a child for years and years that I died in a fire. Jesus! Really vivid. This one's a bit morbid. And I died in a fire and they were really, really vivid. This one's a bit morbid. I died in a fire and they were really, really

vivid. Were there no smoke alarms? No. Back in the day? No. How old were you saying Kirsty is? At the moment? Oh, I'm like yeah. When I was in my past life, I don't know. I was a child. Any guess

at the decade that you were last alive or when the smoke alarm happened? No. Okay know. I was a child. Any guess at the decade that you were last alive or when the first one happened? No. Wouldn't have a clue. So don't know if I and at the school that I was attending at the time I would have been quite young. I was quite scared of that school. Anyway, didn't think

anything of it. Just remembered the dream really vividly and then years later in my 20s I went to a past life testing because you know that's what you do when you're 20. Of course you do when you're in your 20s. You've got money to burn, don't you? Yeah, just bored. Sorry to say burn and bring up that.

Oh, my God. Can you do some sensitivity, please, Bort? I'm so sorry. Kirstie's been here before. Bort. Okay, sorry. Bort, shush. And the lady said to me, oh, I know what your past life was.

And I said, okay, what is it? And she said, you were a five-year-old who died in a fire at your school. And she named the school, and it was the school I went to. It's undeniable. Had that school had a fire? Were you at school? Yes. Yes, that school had a fire.

So I went back and looked because, you know, again, 2014. And, yes, it had had a fire. I'm not entirely convinced. Did somebody die in the fire, though? Quite a few died in the fire. That was during the field day. Is this like small town New Zealand? Yes.

But in the past. Explain that. Pretty sick you were reborn into the same shit small town in New Zealand. It's like all the world to see. No, put her back in that town. Yeah, but I don't think you go. It's just the radius around where you die.

I don't think you're portaled onto the other side of the world. No, you can be. I have left that area, though, because it's gross. Right, yeah. Wow. Oh, my God. Explain that. Explain that.

Explain that, Kirsty. Explain that. Thank you for your call. Let's go to Alicia. Good morning, Alicia. Explain that. Kirstie, thank you for your call. Let's go to Alicia. Good morning, Alicia. Good morning. This is your brother that's been here before. Has he been here before?

Well, yeah. Well, he had a past life as well. Wow. What did he do in his past life? Supposedly, guys. I'm a bit on the fence as well. Hey, be a believer. Can you tell we're on the fence, Alicia? No, I'm not. I'm behind the fence. I'm a bit on the fence as well. Hey, be a believer. Can you tell we're on the fence, Alicia?

No, I'm not sure. I'm behind the fence. Fletcher's Wilson from Home Improvement. He's just peeking over the fence. Yeah, he's over the fence for sure. So what did your brother think he was in a past life? So what happened was when we were younger, my

mum went to a clairvoyant. When my brother was younger, he used to have night terrors. He still has them. All he ever used to scream out was no. And, like, to the point where my parents had to tell his friend's mum when he was having sleepovers, like, hey, this might happen. The one time they didn't, he had a night terror, and the mum came in with a baseball bat thinking that they were being, like, murdered.

Oh, jeepers. So, like, these are hectic night terrors, right? Yeah. Jeez. He now that he's older, he's weird and stuff. Very naughty, I know. Yeah. But he, so she went to this clairvoyant

and all she gave over was one of her bambles. The lady was like, oh, you've got a son and a daughter. And she was like, yeah, like, you know, all the normal stuff, start-to-get things. And then she said, your son's really obsessed with, like, knights and, like, knights at the round table

and that medieval stuff. And my mum was like, oh, yeah, he is. Again, like, another boy thing, right? Yes. They had this little, like, wooden castle that had, like another boy thing, right? They had this little wooden castle that had little figurines with knights and all the different battlefield guys

in and stuff. And then this lady was like, your son has night terrors. And my mum was like, yeah, he does. She's got this all taped on a dictaphone, by the way. Anybody has a dictaphone? Explain that. It has a dictaphone?

Explain that. Yeah. Explain that. Well, it's a small device. It's battery powered. It records the audio on digitally. So then what did she make of his? So what was his past life? A knight?

So what she said was, yeah, all he screamed out is no. And my mom was like, yes. And anyway, this lady said, the reason why is because he was a knight in a past life and he had a princess at home and he got sent out to battle and he died on the battlefield. And while he was dying, he was literally screaming out,

no, no, no, because he knew he was never going to get back to his princess. He would have been screaming, nay, nay, nay! Because it's 12th century. And also, what was he doing for the 800-odd years between dying and being reincarnated? He was probably a plumber. Just floating around, they pop into other bodies. Yeah, they do plumbing. Plumbing in the 20s. Yeah, but it's the most

exciting, hey? You always remember your most exciting experiences. Alicia, thank you for your call. Explain that, Hayley. Explain that. Do we have any messages in or are they? We've got a ton of messages in. I'm a hairdresser to Sue Nicholson, New Zealand's most famous psychic medium. Boy, the stories I could tell you about what she's told me

about my family's previous lives. It's incredible. She's just trying to get a free haircut. Yeah, and a cut and a colour. A cut and a colour and a blow wave. Yeah, and a cut and a colour. And a cut and a colour. And a colour and a blow wave. A blow wave and a perm. Yeah.

I was reincarnated in my last life. I was an orphaned British child with an enthusiastic outlook on life despite everything going wrong. No. Oh, wow. Me too. Are you telling me? When I die, presumably of hypothermia or malnutrition, or if I come back in a healthier, happier life,

oh, Mr Fletcher. Mr Fletcher, am I going to be a princess? Mr Fletcher, what will I be in my next life, Mr Fletcher? Tell us. Anything. Anything's got to be better than this, Mr Fletcher. What are we going to be, Mr Fletcher? You'll be orphans again.

Oh, that seems unfair, Mr Fletcher. It's a horrid lie. Dealt that blow twice in a row? I don't think so. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib, dib Play along, Mr. Fletcher. We're starting a band. We're called the Olfins. Stop it.

Stop it. Get on the drums. Yes, Mr. Fletcher. Eat jams. All right. That was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. Today's fact of the day is about the companions of St. Nicholas. Okay.

Santa's helpers. Oh, yeah. The elves. El St. Nicholas. Okay. Santa's helpers. Oh, yeah. Ah. The elves. Elves. Yes. That's the Western world's most popular Santa accompaniment, the elves. Of course.

You know, they make his presents. They pack the sleigh. They get it all ready. Yes, they do all sorts. They all go, all go, all go, all go. Other places around the world have different Santa's helpers. Some actually ride in the sleigh with Santa. It's a two-person job.

Yeah, right? Yeah, I knew. So in Austria and other parts of Europe, Germany, up into Scandinavia, there's Krampus. Krampus. Oh, yeah. Krampus is like evil. I love Krampus. It's Krampus. Krampus. Oh, yeah. Krampus is like evil. I love Krampus.

It's Krampus. Krampus will come. He's terrifying. He will be with Santa, but if you've been a naughty child, he gives you coal or like some tied up sticks and a telling off. Yeah, right.

Any of your kids getting coal this year? What do you reckon, guys? I reckon Organ's getting a big sack of coal. Very naughty. It's bad to even. She is shocked at even the accusation of getting coal. It's up to Krampus, isn't it? We've got the hour.

Oh, my God. It's up to Krampus. Don't try to parent these children. Wow, that's up to Krampus. You've got a couple of days left. I'd pull my finger out if I were you. Krampus is watching. Krampus. You've got a couple of days left. I'd pull my finger out if I were you. Krampus is watching. Krampus is watching.

In Germany, parts of Germany, Belsnickel is the companion of St. Nicholas. He's a man who wears furs over his entire body and sometimes a mask with a long tongue. Controversy. Wearing a fur. He will give you socks or shoes full of candy, but if they're bad they'll have coal in their

socks and shoes instead. I don't want coal in my shoes. No one wants coal in their shoes. Nick Rumpank is another German folklore which translates to farmhand Rupert or servant Rupert. He's the companion of St. Nicholas.

And the Germans love farmhand Rupert. Okay. He's a good guy. He's the companion of St. Nicholas. Bloody Rupert. And the Germans love farmhand Rupert. Okay. He's a good guy. He's not like... He won't give you a cold. He's not like papers. He's like papers. He helps out.

The Dutch and some regions of Taranaki have black Pete. Okay. Remember when they were like, well... Well, I remember black Pete. Yeah. He's come down the chimney, right? Huh? Isn't that why...

No, no. He's a white man who's painted up. Oh, yeah. Yeez. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, God. And there was what part of...

Zwat Pete? What part of Taranaki would have the Christmas parade and they'd have the Black Pete? And they were like, maybe we don't do that anymore, guys. And they're like, oh, come on. Or was it Nelson? I feel there was some. Could have been either, to be totally honest.

Black Pete NZ. Could have been. And it was a real situation. Black Pete's friendly. It's like, yeah, but it's a white guy with a shoe polish on his face. I think we don't need. I don't think we do do that anymore. Black Pete.

Zwart Pete. Zwart Pete. Zwart Pete. He was a good guy. With Sinterklaas. Yeah. He's a servant, not a companion, technically, if you're looking it up. In Finland, there is Julpoko, which translates the Christmas goat. So Santa's helper is the Christmas goat.

We've talked about the Christmas goat before because remember they build this, I think we talked about it last year. They build that massive goat of hay and every year everyone tries to burn it down. Yeah, they have security cameras. And it's like this big thing if you can burn it down, which seems crazy.

Mr. Bingle is one from New Orleans, Louisiana. Mr. Bingle is like a well-known, it started out as one department store's kind of like thing to celebrate Christmas, but it's become synonymous with New Orleans. He's got a lot of helpers, doesn't he, Santa? Yeah, a lot. Around the world, of course. He's very busy.

He's got the reindeer to help as well. And in Russia, he has a snow maiden. I bet he does. Yeah. He probably met her on those ads. Yeah. And was like, get yourself one of these. Yeah. Yeah. He probably met her on those ads. Yeah. Get yourself one of these. Yeah. Easy peasy. Lemon squeezy. Wow. So he gets

one of those. So today's fact of the day is that Santa just doesn't have the elves helping him. He's got helpers all over the world. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Play ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley's memorable moments. Our memorable moments from 2022. What a great, flawless year. Yeah, sure. Nothing went wrong. Nothing went wrong. Nothing of any concern.

We're heading into 2023 in we're just a great place. We are. Better than ever? Better than ever, yeah. Better than ever. We're going to touch on fashion now, fashion memorable moments. Moments in fashion.

Should we start with like celeb moments? Yeah. We've got to talk about Julia Fox going to the supermarket in her undies. Remember this? She did a lot of big things fashion wise this year, didn't she? Now, is it this year that she did the makeup? Yes. I think it's all happened this year.

She said, I love your makeup. Who did it? She's like, thanks, I did it myself. Yeah. And that became a little TikTok trend. But then there was the photo of her and she had a big denim jacket on and then just bra and undies and she was at the supermarket. It was incredible.

That's just everyday kind of attire in West Auckland, really, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No big deal. Everyone was just like, yeah, I did that yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Obviously, Kim Kardashian's had a lot of fashion moments this year. She busted Marilyn Monroe's dress.

With dead ass. And then she... Wasn't it just insane that she was even allowed to wear that? Yeah. Or borrow it? It was a lot around it, wasn't there? It was a lot of chat around it. And then she got taped up in a Balenciaga danger tape sort of thing. Yeah, she...

I think she... Oh, there's another thing. Balenciaga with their terrible fashion campaign. Oh, that's right. They had a couple of whoopsies. They had a couple of big whoopsies. A couple of big whoopsies. They had children posing with like BDSM stuff.

Yeah. Everyone was like, oh no, that's off. Who signed that off? That's off. I don't know. I reckon my favourite Fasion moment is Bella Hadid getting painted on the catwalk. On the runway. That was amazing.

The spray paint. Yeah. And then it turned into a dress. It hardened, didn't it? What about like a chocolate sauce on an ice cream? Yeah, you could do that. Yeah. Very, very similar.

Yeah, it is basically. Just covering it up. I don't think she'd have had too much chocolate sauce on ice cream by the looks of it. No. Excuse me, that was a big sneeze. What about, you know there's a button you can just turn your mic off there if you do that. Yeah, I know, but I've hit that button wrong before, haven't I? And I've said things that I shouldn't have said and everyone heard

them. So I'm not touching those freaking buttons. You can hear my sneezes. I don't play with the buttons. You don't touch the buttons. What about actual just fashion trends for 2022? It's bad. It's bad out there.

Low-rise jeans? What are we doing? Low-rise jeans are back. I've seen baggy jeans. Yeah. Yeah, skatey jeans. A lot of skate shoes. Yeah.

I fully embrace Crocs this year. I'm a little bit embarrassed about it. Birkenstocks at the start of the year, they were a slippery slope to Crocs. Really? I've been a Birkenstock fan for years and I vouch to never enter the land of Crocs. You're one step away. I can't do it.

Because Sade showed me, oh, did you know they do waterproof Birkenstocks now? And showed me last night. I was like, Darl, those are Croc slides. Yeah. They just don't have the four-wheel drive adventure strap that you can put up behind your ankle if you've got to move with a bit of haste. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

What about Rihanna showing off her belly? That was her pregnancy announcement. Announcement. Because she was quite far along when she announced. Yeah, and she was wearing, she had a puffer jacket just open with the belly poking out and a belly chain. Yeah. Also, do you remember Nicole Kidman on the cover of Vanity Fair in the little like school girl outfit?

Yeah, she was like ripped. She had the abs. Yeah, and everyone was like, ooh. Why was everyone like, ooh? Because look at her outfit. Like she was wearing that little Miu Miu mini skirt that came around. I think Nicole Kidman wears it a lot. I feel sorry for Nicole Kidman.

Oh my God, she's incredible. No, it was just that it was like she's dressed like a little girl. Everyone was like, that's yucky. That's real yucky. What do you do, Nicole? Any predictions for next year, 2023? What are you thinking? I reckon Kanye West is just going to have a stellar year in fashion.

Just carrying on his trend. Co-lab after co-lab after co-lab. Because his shoes, right? is going to have a stellar year in fashion. Just carrying on his trend. Colab after colab after colab. Because his shoes, right, Adidas, we're going to rename them all, right? Yeah. And sell them anyway. And just sell them as is. No, a terrible year.

What's coming back? Because what's next on the list of ugly things we actually used to wear? Because that's what's come back. Low-rise jeans and flares. Baggy, yeah. Avril Lavigne looking. Do you reckon emo is going to make a huge return?

I was wondering that because emo was after what everyone's wearing now, eh? It was like like tulle little mini skirts and stripy tops. We're going to My Chemical Romance

in March so maybe we'll start it then. Should we set the trend? We should. We're going to set the trend. Absolutely. Vaughn was great emo too back in the day.

I was, no, I was entry-level emo. I was, I wasn't, I was emo, emo light, light. You're emo light. Emo light. I wasn't paying for it. He wasn't paying for the full upgrade. I was on a free trial for seven days. Yeah, right.

Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Pack and save, more like Dak and save. Did you just come up with that? Nope, stole it. Stole it from multiple sources, but it was the sitter. It was the goer. Yeah, it was there for the grabbing, wasn't it?

This is why your hometown is in the news. Yes. Your home city. Marijuana, a spot of growing with the Pack and Save car park. How? I don't know. Someone drop a seed. Also, can we confirm at a closer look using the PlantSnap app

that that is marijuana? Because I've got a weed that will pop up at my house every now and then that looks heaps like marijuana but isn't marijuana. Really? Yeah. Because this one's quite like straight up and stalky, whereas I believe marijuana goes a little bushier. Right.

But then maybe this is, you know, this is one of those gardens that can only grow grasses and cabbage trees. Producer Jared is saying that he has seen the photo and he's got some comments on the photo. Yeah, I've done some extensive cross-referencing with photos of marijuana versus photos of that plant, and it looks strikingly similar, and I'm 99% sure that is. I thought marijuana was a darker, richer green.

This is quite like a light green, Jared. Why are you laughing, Jared? I believe the colour can vary from what I've read in books. Do you believe that is what you've read in the stuff? Because there's an extensive book research. Because when it's dried out, it would lighten,

the colour would change. Yeah, does it? This plant isn't there now, eh? No, I went and had a look the other day. No, it seems to be gone. Right, you drove all the way to Hamilton.

All the way to Hamilton. Oh, jeez, she's desperate. For a little potty. So this would have been a spilt seed, perhaps. Yeah, or someone just, like, planted it there as a good gag and now it's sprouted. Just maybe they came up with the Dack and Save joke.

It was a long joke. Yeah. Plant the seed and they're like, God, I can't wait for those to hit the headlines. Yeah, good stuff. You know, they say you should never go supermarket shopping hungry. You should never go to supermarket shopping that sort of hungry. Oh, God, no.

Imagine the trolley. You get absolutely tripped up at the start of that pack and save. You've got to weave your way through all the specials, and the specials are always like chips and stuff. And then you're in fruit. You've got to get a nana. If it's the pack and save I'm thinking of in Hamilton, you used to be able to skip produce.

It was one of those little doors. You'd come straight out on soft drinks. Stuff this stuff. You have vegetables. Yuck. Straight to the snacks. Bit of a shortcut, bit of a door to get to the end of it. But, um, yeah. So have the police been there?

Having a looky doodah? Little looky loo? Don't know. But also, yeah, again, I've got a plant that grows. Maybe I should pull them out and spray them. Maybe I should let them grow for a little bit. We'll get Jared, right? He seems to know what the plants are.

Yeah, I wouldn't know. I've never seen it. Well, he's been reading lots of encyclopedias. He's very, well, he's doing that Stots Correspondence course in horticulture. Stots Correspondence? Is that still around? Is that still a thing?

Do you remember the ads atott's Correspondence? Is it still around? Is that still a thing? Do you remember the ads at Stott's Correspondence College and it had all the things you could study? Yeah. Temporarily close Stott's Correspondence College. Aww. Temporarily though, it might just be shut for summer. Oh yeah, that's true.

Stott's Correspondence, hundreds of thousands of people over our 139 year history. Wow. Well, I think we were laughing, weren't we? But maybe the joke's on us. No, it's just I'm only laughing because I can just think of the ad. Yeah.

At Stots Correspondence. And it was always on the back page of the TV Guide and it just had this massive list and it was like, tick this, send it to this address and we'll send you the information on the Stots Correspondence. Tick this, send it to the address, we'll send you a degree. Yeah, done. Nice and easy. Couldn't be simpler. So there you go. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends

you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.