ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st February 2022

Episode Date: February 20, 2022

Winter Olympic Update  Top 6: Queen has Covid  What did they do on the first date?  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughans Birthday Present  Does your job follow you home?  90s Names  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. And you'll hear a lot in the podcast today about the celebrations at the weekend. Vaughan's 40th birthday celebrations. Wonderful surprise party, very surprised.

Were you actually surprised? Because when you left here on Friday, you said, I might see you at the weekend. Yeah, you were like, I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Maybe see you. Yeah. You had suspicions of a surprise party.

I had suspicions. I don't know, yeah, how wide and far it would go, but no, it was good. It was a surprise. Your wife had been organising this for a while. I remember she first mentioned this to me last year. Yeah. Well, she invited me after the event to the Facebook event.

Yeah. So I could see people that couldn't come for various reasons. And yeah, I think October was the first. Yeah. And you had no idea? Nah. She could cheat on you very easily. Oh, yeah, totally.

Yeah. And that's her right to do so Yeah she could be messaging The trainer And you'd have no idea What you're saying is It's okay to cheat on your partner As long as they don't find out

Yeah yeah If you can get away with it You deserve to have A little bit on the side Because is it cheating No it's not cheating If your partner's dumb enough To not figure it out

Yeah yeah totally Those are the rules That's how it goes down 100% That's what happens It was a wild day though Definitely say We started early

And then we went to your Parents' batch on Waiheke. Oh. We would just like to drop that little bit of info in there. Yeah, she kept that quiet for a long time. Didn't you? We started having some drinkies around 12.30 in the afternoon. We did. It was a bit of beer pong.

A bit of beer pong. Yep. Safe to say in the later parts of the evening everyone was far along on their way and you wanted to have a little play time at the final destination of the party where they had one of those inflatable trampolines that you see at

like top ten holiday parks. Yeah, so good. We were all having a little bit of a jump on it and you took a bit of a tumble. Now, keeping in mind, Mr Boon Boons, your boyfriend, backflips. Standing backflips,

landing on feet. Incredible. He was flying high and then would jump off and land in the dirt. He's very nimble. It's one of the things I like about him. He's very flexible,

very nimble. You look for in a man. Backflip he is. He's long and Dutch, isn't he? Yes, I love a gymnast. Would you say he's somewhat less nimble? I'd say that would be a fair assessment, yes. I'm not nimble.

You weren't going for a backflip. You were going for a simple, I believe, bums back to feet? Yeah, just a simple sit down, quick stand up sort of situation. But you bummed on the... You dropped onto your posterior on the angle of the... The side when it slips down. Shot you sideways. Yeah.

There's a video of it too. My wife has watched this video, I would say, absolutely not short of 100 times and laughs every time she watches it. She really loves it. Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, so I did the first bounce and I was like nailing it. And then the second bounce, I could feel the angle had gone slightly south. A bit skewered.

And then there was like a, oh god. And then I landed in the sand right on my tailbone. So that was absolutely tickety-boo yesterday. This morning, not so fab. Right as the alcohol's worn off, the tailbone's ached. You were trying to deal with it yesterday by continuing

drinking. That I did? I'm a little hungover if I'm honest. I'm going to get a power-added in the pie. that's a wild approach this video sounds like it could be sharday's first tiktok hit though if it's that funny believe it was on your instagram it was it was on your own instagram but a story that's probably lapsed by now so we probably just need to put the actual full video which you still got on your phone somewhere i think for the podcast fam at least that could be a nice video to reward. Yeah it's lapsed

it's no longer there. I'm sure we can find a copy. Bring joy to the people. Thank you so much. Are you ready? That's what you say are you ready?

And he's like yep. And I say are you ready for a professional jump? And then you go boing boing boing wow! Roll. Roll bounce hit ground.

So just be careful on those things. Absolutely. Quite a few people in their 30s and early 40s really underestimated the jarring of the body. There he is. Thanks, Ash.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's three minutes past six. I would like to know that the three of us do sound rather husky this morning. It's not COVID. It is this morning. It's not COVID. It is not COVID. It's not COVID. Well, yet anyway. We all had a big weekend. You might also notice a certain

air of wisdom to my voice this morning. Yes, happy 40th birthday for yesterday Vaughn A. I read books now. Previously this I've not been able to read. I read mostly comics. Yeah, 40 now. Yeah, I know. How about that? First day. I read most of the comics. Yeah, 40 now. Yeah, I know.

How about that? First day of 40. Well, second day? Yeah, second day. Feel different? Back sore again. But I tell you what, I had a weekend free of back pain, and then I don't know what's happened to my back.

It's probably the trampolining. I was going to say, was your weekend free of back pain, or were you just top? I was drunk the whole time, the entire weekend. Yeah. No, the trampoline, the big bubbly bouncy thing, that was sweet on the back. I think I got rolled by a couple of waves yesterday while I was having a celebratory birthday swam. Right.

That maybe got me. I'll be right. Get some more acupuncture from Dr. Wynne. Oh, yeah. You're a converted man. Dr. Wynne, PhD, and I'll be ready to go. Is there a PhD there? Well, maybe his last name's just Fudd.

I don't know what it is. He is, yeah. It'd be a great idea to change your last name to Fudd. It would be. Hayley Sprout Fudd. Hayley Sprout Fudd, yeah. You get a PhD. Sure.

No, it's a hyphen. I married Mr. Fid. Me and Mr. Fid. All right. On the show today, Anticart returns at 8 o'clock. Today, listeners' cart. All this week, listeners' carts.

Yeah, we've got Davinia from Palmy has chosen this cart. Holy moly. So, first item at 8 o'clock and we'll give you the items across the day. You've got to be listening this afternoon, 5 o'clock, to win all of the items in the cart.

The top six is coming up. Yes, it happened this morning. The Buckingham Palace confirmation that our dear queen has COVID. She is also 94? 95. 96. Still so on to it too. We see her in the news.

So on to it. Plump in the face. That's what keeps her looking. 95. onto it too. We see her in the news. So onto it. Plump in the face. That's what keeps her looking. 95. 95 year old. She's looking young and she's got plump in her cheeks. Maybe she gets fillers. You know when people get older they start to hollow out a bit?

Yeah, she got the money. I reckon she's getting fillers. She could have a nutritionist. I reckon she'd have the lot. But she's got COVID. The top six things the Queen can finally get done now that she's on isolation. And we've all got like with the impending nature of Omicron in the community, we've all got a list developing of what...

Absolutely. I mean, nothing's going to get done. You'll probably feel like a bag of shit, but good to have a little list prepared. Yeah. Have all your bits and pieces ready to go. So what the Queen's up to is today's top six. All right, it's coming up next on the show. I've got some post-coital stats for you.

Turns out 70% of people do this immediately afterwards. Okay. We're talking about what we do post-coital. Coitus? Yeah. Coitus? Yeah. Post-coitus.

Sexy times. After some sexy Sexy times This is This is strange I mean this is An American study Surveyed

2000 people Saying 70 70% of people Feel they have to Shower immediately After having sex 70% Immediately

Do you think that's Too high Or do you think That you shower otherwise? I guess it depends on the time of day in which the coitus takes place. Okay. I'll check you some scenarios. No.

You're a scrubby bitch. Really? If you were going to make some sweet, sweet romantic love to your long-term partner in your beautiful bed, in the evening, like in the late night, you have a quick shower. I'm a clean sleeper. I shower before bed most days.

You've got to have a shower. Unless I've showered late afternoon after the gym or if I've been particularly dusty or something. Even if you just had a shower, got into bed, had sexy times, you need another shower. Give yourself another rinse. Are you serious?

You need a quick rinse. I'm a dirty little biatch. Obviously. What would they say? They said that they were the top three activities. What, straight afterwards?

Yeah, so. There's a list of activities people get up to straight afterwards. Cry and shame. Try to bury their Catholic guilt down deep. Showering is the second most common activity right after sleeping. That's me. Straight to sleep. So it goes sleeping, showering, and then the third top activity is cuddling.

Yuck. Get off. Yeah, you've heard it. What's the point of cuddling. Yuck, get off. Yeah, you've heard it. What's the point of cuddling? It's not going to lead to another round, is it? Yeah, what are we going to do? I'm exhausted. Touch, pause, engage, separate.

There's a lot of stats on the clean up. Oh my gosh. That's one thing you don't really ever talk about, do you? The clean up. 65% of people will immediately change their bed sheets afterwards. What? Oh my God. I feel like if you're doing that, you're not doing it

enough. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. If that's too full on. Otherwise the same amount, 65% I don't know why this makes me laugh. It's just very unsexy. 65% of people make an effort by putting down a towel beforehand. Before, I was going to say, or after.

It's too late. You're not sleeping on a scratchy towel. Well, I guess that saves you changing the bed sheets. Absolutely, it does. Who's putting down a towel unless it's like an Airbnb or a... Yeah, exactly. I don't want the Airbnb owner coming in and being like, oh, God.

You're staying at your parents' house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially when your name's on like, oh, God. You're staying at your parents' house. Yeah, yeah. Especially when your name's on the Airbnb rental. Yeah. You're on the hook. Or back in the day. No, I'm not going to say what I was going to say. I'm interested to know where that was going.

Off air. Off air. Off air. Take this offline. 79% of people do always try to follow the common medical advice of going for a wheeze afterwards. Always go for a wheeze? Yeah.

It's just common sense, right? You got it. Yeah. If you can't, you've got to sit there and try. You've got to hit the kitchen, grab some OJ. Maybe sit down, have a loving conversation with the person that you've just... Now I feel like I'm filthy.

...worthily engaged with. You should feel like you're filthy. It doesn't need to be a full, intense shower, but it needs to be sort of a rinse off of your... Most desecrated parts. Does it mention like a baby wipe? Yes. What are those?

Yeah, there does. 73% of people will forego, if there's no time for the shower, like you've got to go, they'll go for a little baby wipe. A hot flanny. A little flanny. A hot flanny's good Because it's straight from the wash But you don't flush those wipes Don't flush the wipes

Another reminder not to flush the wipes I don't own flannels Is that weird? You don't own flannels? I don't own flannels Face cloths Every now and then I'm just in the Yeah that's what a flannel is

Oh no I've got like The ones I use for the gym Those hand That's a hand towel That's a hand towel Okay so I don't own a flannel Is that bad? Mark it for his birthday Someone's got a couple of flannels Some flannies Nice little hand towel. Okay, so I don't own a flannel. Is that bad? Mark, for his birthday, someone's got a couple of flannels.

Some nice little bougie little flannels. No, I've got my Japanese bath towel. That's an exfoliating towel. That's an exfoliating towel. That's your whole body. The flannel is primarily a face. Yes, I just. Face or fanny.

The flannels. Flannels are for faces or fannies. Okay. You should get some. They're great. Just eat them raw. Well, I don't have a fanny And you can go face to fanny but not fanny to face Never fanny to face

You can face the fanny That's flannel 101 Face to fanny tick Fanny to face Big red cross Okay Or maybe just even shower Don't judge me on my post-sex activities.

Next on the show, a French dad. That's stuffed up big time. Yes. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, some problems in a small French town, Messanger. Messanger. Messanger in France.

Is it misogyny? Is that the problem in France? Yeah. No. It's not a great place to visit So from midnight Not for women No Beautiful spot

From midnight until 3am Every day of the week The small French town Had no cell phone signal Or internet service Why? So no data from midnight until 3am. There were reports

they went to the public agency responsible for the radio frequencies and radio waves. They investigated and they found that a signal jammer, a device was being used to block

people connecting to cell towers. They can only exist. It only came out at midnight. These exist, these things. Do they use them at prisons? Signal jammers, I don't know. They can use them at prisons. But the problem is that I think they're quite a broad device,

so it's hard. To isolate where it's blocking. Yeah, because then you're stopping people from being able to call emergency services, their mum. My mum is an emergency service. They tracked it down to one house and found that a dad

was trying to stop his kids being on the internet. Late at night. Late at night. So he had purchased a cell phone jammer, but rather than just stopping his kids from getting on the internet, he was stopping an entire village. Did he know that that's what was happening? I don't think so.

So he just wanted to stop his kids from watching porn. So when he set up the midnight treat, when he set up this jammer, he didn't walk, he didn't like go on his phone, turn it on and walk as far away from his house to see when signal came back. I don't think he didn't like go on his phone turn it on and walk as far away from his house to see when signal came back. I don't think he didn't care at all, no. He was just like, they've become addicted to social

media. He told authorities he wanted to get them off the internet and that was his. Why didn't he just because they could have had data on their cell phones. I don't think that it was a home wifi situation like you know most parents would turn the router off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. As you say, still got would turn the router off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. As you say, you've still got data.

Still got data. So he is facing a penalty of €30,000 and six months in jail. Oh, wow. Because it's quite a serious offence because you're blocking people from being able to use... Yeah, communication, right? Communication, yeah. He could go to jail for that.

It seems a bit absurd. I don't even know where you buy one of those from. Well, I was just actually on Alibaba because I got targeted advertising for something that looks like a bazooka, but it shoots tennis balls for dogs. Oh, they're quite fun. Which is $6.56.

How much is that? $600. No, $6.56. Oh, so buy one immediately. Yeah. A bazooka gun $6.56. Buy one immediately. Yeah. A bazooka gun for dogs. Yeah. So I'm on there.

What am I searching? Is it air powered? You pull a handle at the back. You pull a handle at the back. And even for like kids who can't pull it all the way back, it goes click, click, click, click, click. So they could do like a three click one and then shoot just a little less

Stupid weak kids Dumb kids, eh? Go to the gym Strengthen up Cell phone jammer Yeah Okay, let's This, by the way, is going to get me some weird targeted advertising

Yep, cell light, LTE, repeat a cell phone Oh, that's a signal booster Hang on, cell phone jam blockers There must be a legal to buy one full stop, right? Oh, they're illegal in New Zealand. Devices that block mobile phone and GPS signals are being sold illegally in New Zealand. Right. What about Pete Evans?

He was selling that one that would take the 5G out of you. Oh, yeah, that might work. That might work. That would work. Luckily, around my house, we're on 3G, 4G tops. So we'll still have the internet. This isn't an issue for you. Nope.

I forgot about this. Yes. That's our intro bed for the Winter Olympics update. It's the Olympics. Not to be confused with Christmas. With a Christmassy update. Yeah. It's the Olympics. Not to be confused with Christmas. With a Christmassy tang. Yeah.

Yeah, because there's snow. Well, there's not just snow. There was Santa in there. That's probably the thing that's giving it its most Christmassy vibe. No, that was New Zealand Winter Olympic chief de Michon, Martin Toomey. That's how he laughs. Oh. Oh.

And that was the laugh. He laughed when Nico Porteus won New Zealand's second gold medal was the laugh. He laughed when Nico Porteus won New Zealand's second gold medal at the weekend. He's amazing. It's there, over. They've wrapped. It's done. Is a closing ceremony happening?

No idea. Last time on the news, did you see the reporter saying pretty much as soon as it's done, China's like, out? You're no longer welcome. She's staying, China's like, out? Yeah. You're no longer welcome. She's staying because she's covering the Paralympics. Oh, right.

But everybody else, they're like, all right, pack your shit, out. Wow. So, Nico Porteus winning his gold medal and Zoe Sadowski-Sinnett winning a gold and a silver. So, that's what we took home. Yeah, we ranked 17th, ladies and gentlemen. In the whole world. We beat Australia.

And not per capita. No, we nestled between Finland and Australia. Australia winning more medals, but they only won one gold. We won two. We're above a lot of wintry European countries. Yes. Like, that's pretty amazing. Like, we're above the Czech Republic.

Oh, very wintry. And there, they get wintry're above the Czech Republic. Oh very wintry. And there they get wintry don't they? They get super wintry. Hungary, Estonia Latvia, Poland. Where's Norway at? Norway number one. Yeah you can tell they've got big winter energy eh? They do. Well I mean they live in snow a lot of the year. Constant winter. Yeah. So the rankings were

Norway, Germany, China the US, then Sweden. Is there a per capita? That's how I like to receive my stats. I'm just looking at these countries. I don't know if there is. I mean, you know what? We might be...

What's the population of Austria? We might be up against it with the old... Yeah, because Austria is seventh on the table. They won seven gold medals. Yeah. Austria population. I'll just give that a little. But we,

yeah, I can't believe we're only just behind Finland. Oh, they got nine, they got about nine mil. Austria. So maybe.

We're still punching. We did good. We did pretty good. Go us. Go us. Do you know what I mean? Go us. Something to feel proud about

and I mean, we've done nothing, but. Oh no, it's a team, the team of 5 million we're all involved yeah

next winter Olympics they reckon there'll be more Kiwis oh yeah just the way that you know these sorts of sports

the winter sports are heading in Aotearoa New Zealand yeah and they're gonna have gaming aren't they not at the winter Olympics oh

no the Olympics Olympics which is weird gaming could be At both the summer And the winter Because it's absolutely Not dependent on Any atmospheric conditions

Like it literally Unless they're playing Like snowboarding games Or just in fingerless gloves Yes Outside maybe Yeah We'll go New Zealand

Yeah wait That No I'm not It doesn't sit right with me that gaming's only at the Summer Olympics. It should be at both of them. Yeah. I don't think it should be at either of them.

That's Bacall, Bacall, controversial stand to take in 2021. 2022. I think marching should. Again, not really a sport, is it? You are wrong there. Vaughan, would you say that being a parent is hard? No, but I also am very well aware of many privileges that I am, you know, I'm very lucky.

Well, you work part-time. I work part-time. My wife gets to be a full-time mum. I've got two very well-behaved children, and I'm constantly reminded of that when I see other people's children, and I'm like, yuck. If you had had two boys, you would not be saying this now. And I'd smack them.

Well, you remember what it was like growing up with your brother, right? A smack certainly stopped whatever was happening. Long term, there might have been more, you know, different implications to smacking, but at the time, it was certainly the best tool my parents had to deal with to constantly find boys. Maybe their hitting

us only fuelled our love for fights, though. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Well, a new study has found that 74% of parents these days think that raising kids today is much harder than it was for their parents. There's citing factors like modern parenting is much tougher. We've got social media to navigate. Yeah, that's something. More parents are working full-time jobs.

Yep. You know, mum and not, you know, mum and dad might have a job or whatever. The rise of technology, different kinds of bullying. They're citing iPads as making things difficult. Aren't they famously? No, iPads, that's what everybody says

and then you need five minutes, ten minutes. Yeah. An afternoon, pop them in front of an iPad. You're a babysitter. Yeah, parents are finding it harder to spend enough time with their kids. Right.

I think that would make parenting easier. The less time, the better for me. If somebody else could raise them, that'd be great. You've heard them. They're loud and obnoxious, aren't they? So loud. We were talking about this yesterday. Like our house is so loud.

I like how two loud, Obnoxious people Just called children Loud and obnoxious No one in my house Is allowed to be louder And more obnoxious Than I am You're gonna hold the title We're like

We had friends over last night They don't have kids We don't have kids And they had their You know nieces and nephews Around there like Oh my god Like

You look at the State of the walls Afterwards It's sticky everywhere And we're the same We don't have a child-friendly house Yeah But it looks child-friendly

Because we've got a lot of sort of collectibles and fun things Trinkets Kids would really like trinkets But those kids would break them Don't you touch that It's from the 1970s That's not a toy That's mine, not yours

Parents, they say the most time they get with their kids at the moment is when they're eating during meals. Mealtime. We always have mealtime together. We always have dinner at the table every night. Sitting down, they'll watch a movie. Did you always have dinner at the table? Because I always found it bizarre when families would be like,

all right, go and then just eat on the couch. Or on the floor. Or on the floor, just wherever. And it's like, that's weird. Yeah. I don't eat dinner at the table a lot now when it's just me and Aaron. Yeah.

Where do you eat your dinner? Every now and then. In the lounge. We eat outside at the moment. Oh, yeah, it's great. It's like a table outside, but sometimes in front of the telly. Okay.

On your lap? On your lap. I can't do on the lap eating for a big dinner. You don't do that on the lap. I'll spill it. Yeah. They're also saying it's hard for parents nowadays because kids are growing up too fast.

I feel like that's true of anything. I think kids have been ageing. Kids have been ageing at the same speed. I guess it's technology. They know more. They've got their own kind of life. Yeah. Whereas I guess kids back then were a bit more reliant.

And it all sounds too hard for me, whether it was now or back in the 90s. It's a big no thank you from Hayley. From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank, this is The Top Six. Hi there. The Queen, 95 years old, is experiencing mild cold-like symptoms

and expects to continue light duties from Windsor. But yeah, positive for the Rones. Positive for COVID-19, yes. What would a light duty be for the Queen? At 95 years old, standing up is not a light duty, so what the hell? Do you reckon it's like signing birthday cards?

Yeah, signing those cards that you get when you're 100. But then they need to be sanitised afterwards. What if she coughs a little COVID in and then gives another... Surely. A centenarian. Surely it's going to be sanitised afterwards. What if she coughs a little COVID in and then gives another one? A centenarian. Surely it's going to be digital these days. No, I don't think they... You don't just get sent them either. I don't know this.

You've got to apply for them. Do you? Yeah, so you don't just... When you turn 100 in the Commonwealth, you don't automatically get sent one. Oh, boo. You have to contact Buckingham Palace... And say, I'm about to be 100.

...to give proof of the person that's turning 100 and then you get one. Oh, okay. I know. I guess we would just assume that the Queen all knew where we would live and one day I'll turn 100 and a little will turn up. Yeah, there it is with our congratulations. Well, Prince Charles 73 and Camilla 74. Did we

know that Camilla was older than Prince Charles? I didn't know that. Little toy boy. They both had it and they believe that's how it got right to the Queen. But yeah, she has tested positive. God, Camilla, eh? Watch this space. Unsettling the royal family yet again.

Yeah, walking in. I think I've got... COVID, Your Majesty. What is that? Queen Consort or Queen? Oh, my gosh. So the top six things the Queen's going to get out to her in her isolation period at Windsor.

Number six, she's finally going to sort out the pantry. Oh, yeah. It's been a bit of a mess because every time she takes the systema or the Tupperware and it's dry, she just kind of chucks it in and the lids can get separated. Yeah. She is absolutely dedicated to throwing out the containers that don't match. Or the tins of stuff that she hasn't used for like five years.

Oh, yeah. Like a tin of plums or something. Oh, my God. It's always a tin of plums, ain't it? Like, for God's sake, what recipe? That'll keep. It'll keep. That'll keep. Just give it to It'll keep for another ten minutes.

Just give it to a food drive. Yeah. Good call. Good call there. Number five on the list. While she's organising the top six things the Queen's going to get up to in her isolation period, she's going to clean out her wardrobe. Oh, nice.

You can imagine how bulging at the seams the Queen's wardrobe would be. She hardly wears the same thing twice. No. And she has a lot of brooches to organise, too. The brooch drawers must be chaos. I imagine like her wardrobe has a pull-out brooch drawer. There'd have to be a couple. The pull-out pearls.

Yeah. Oh, yep. The pull-out pearls drawer. I'm sort of imagining like a Kardashian wardrobe. We're also like the big walk-in vials. Huge. Maybe its own room. It'd be so colourful.

She loves colour. Maybe when Charles moved out, she took over his room and turned it into a... Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I'm sorry, true. Money with my room.

She's like, well, I needed more storage space for all my brooches. It's my brooch room now. Number four on the list of the top six things the Queen's going to get up to in her isolation period.

She's finally getting around to repotting some of her plants. Oh, nice. They've needed a bigger pot for a while now. I hope she wears gloves because legionnaires. That's very true.

That's right. Be careful with potting, Max. She's going to be splitting some peace lilies too, so if you guys needed a peace lily. Oh, I'd love a cutting of what she's got on the go.

Yeah, she'll be able to pop that in the post. Number three on the list of the top six things the Queen's going to get up to in her isolation period at the Palace. Polish the crown jewels. Oh, nice. They just haven't had a good silvo for a little while, you things the Queen's going to get out to in her isolation period at the palace. Polish the crown jewels.

Oh, nice. They just haven't had a good silvo for a little while, you know? She's going to get that out. The old rag. Get a bit foggy. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't have the shine.

She only wants that shine back. She's going to use that dishwasher. Dishwashing liquid hack. What? To shine your jewellery? Yeah, you put dishwashing liquid in warm water and you put your jewellery in and you're shaking them out. Oh, so it's like an at-home, one of those little machines that the jewellery stores have. Yeah, you put dishwashing liquid in warm water and you put your jewellery in and you shake it about. Oh, so it's like at home,

one of those little machines that the jewellery stores have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. It like vibrates. Dishwashing liquid. Shakes it out. Okay.

Like just a plain palm olive sort of sitch. Palm olive will do. Really? On the crown jewels. Oh, and just give it a shake. Yeah. Number two on the list

of the top six things the Queen's going to get up to on her isolation period at the palace. She's going to get into Horizon Forbidden period at the palace she's going to get into Horizon Forbidden West on PS5 this is a new PlayStation game

it's going to take a lot of hours as well right I'm very much looking forward to it I'm hoping the Queen and I can become friends on the PlayStation Network so that we can

compare how far through the game we all are I think she'd be more like a mum on her iPad yeah playing like Candy Crush you should do an iPad game she loves a long

sort of action role play story game. Yeah, right. Huge fan of a female protagonist which of course this game has. Sprawling open

world maps. The Queen's going to be in her element, guys. And yes, I am hoping for a free copy. I think I just earned it.

Number one on the list of the top six things the Queen's going to get up to. I think I just earned it. Number one on the list of the top six things the Queen's going to get up to in her isolation period at the palace. Number one, she's finally going to get around to trying some of those recipes she saved in Facebook links. Oh my gosh.

Oh yeah. Well, she's like, that looks amazing, but I don't have the time. Save link. And you've just got hundreds of them. She's going to start working her way through. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

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and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, here's another bad date story. Honestly, I really don't envy all of you out there in the dating world. Sounds like it's very hard to navigate. But a woman went on a Tinder date. She was posting about it on Reddit. She said she went to the date. They went to a nice restaurant. Met up

with this date. I've got props. I love that you have a prop for this story. I've brought props. Anyway, so they sat down, have a little chit-chit-chit-chit-chit, look through the menu. Love decided what they want. And so she said she was surprised at that point to see him pull out of his pocket a small bell.

A reception bell. A small bell that he then... What does summon the waitstaff? To let them know that they were ready to order their food. Brilliant. She was like, what? Trying to get the waiter's attention. She said it was...

He kept... To the point where her ears were hurting, as yours may be now, depending on how loudly you've been listening to the radio. She said she was so embarrassed and asked them he would stop doing it but he just kept on going, trying to get this attention. So she walked out.

Oh, that's embarrassing. Have you ever been out to dinner with a clicker? Oh no. When they're ready to order and you're like, you'd pull someone in if they did that, right? I don't have any friends that would do that. The rules are out the gate at Yumcha when I go with my father-in-law. Does he click?

He'll put his hand up and point at them. If they're looking and he points, he's like, you, you, you. Have you ever been to a restaurant? I think when we went to Executive Intern Anya's, the Japanese place, they had like doorbells on the table. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. And you just go ding and they just come.

Yeah, magic. Straight away. They're just like, I need another cocktail, please. One of my favourite Korean places has that. Ding dong, and then they just come. Are you talking like traditional 1990s, the black rectangular doorbell with the one white button in the middle? No.

Like a buzzer. But their doorbells, they're definitely buzzer doorbells. That's cool. Yeah, they're great. In the kitchen or behind the bar, it'll say table 18 and it lights up. Yeah, or it'll just ding it wherever they all live. That's cool. That's good. That's so embarrassing.

But that's there. Yeah. That has been installed by them because they like that system, but the bell or the clicking, that's rude. Therefore, yeah, it's acceptable. That's the way that they want to be contacted. She said she asked time and time again and then said, I'm going to leave.

If you keep on going, I'm going to leave. And then he kept on going, so she did leave. He followed her and was like, well, it was rude. Why are you making such a big deal out of it? Come back. But she was so embarrassed. She got in the cab and absolutely left him. Was he trying to be funny?

He said that she was being too sensitive. That's so rude. Yeah. I mean, thank God. Thank God he's done this on the first date and you know what a rude, rude person he is. So we wanted to ask you, what did someone do on your first date

that made you go, oh no, this will not be my husband? Or wife. Or wife. I know somebody that went or life partner I know somebody that went on a date with someone to a comedy show

and he started heckling no no no would you die it's open mic nights mate if you think you're so bloody funny I know

imagine getting taken on a date and then it's open mic night and then they're just like I'll be back in five and then they get taken on a date

they do open mic. No. And you're just sitting in the crowd and they keep eyeballing you like making their jokes and they're like are they laughing

are they laughing? Maybe they'll kill. Maybe they'll absolutely love it. That's happened to me actually. I've been on stage doing a solo show before and someone got up onto the mic

and started they like wandered onto the stage they were so blind drunk and the woman was just like who he was with, was just face in hands embarrassed.

Oh, I would have left. The ushers escorted him out of the premises and I carried on with the rest of my show. And afterwards, she came up and was like, please, can I buy you a drink? I'm so sorry. That's my husband. Oh, my God.

Imagine being married to someone that did that. It's too late. She's legally tied. She's bound. All right, well, how embarrassing was it on a first date? What did somebody do on a first date and you were just like, no, I can't go. This is not happening again.

Maybe they clicked their fingers and said, garçon, garçon, or maybe they... They BYO Bell. BYO Bell. All right, give us a call. I just have... We just got rained in. Maybe it's me. I just have, this is, man, is this me? I got, I just had to rein these two in.

And we're already planning when they're going to have their holidays mid-year. We're actually trying to plan it around your life. Is why the discussion was so robust. We're trying to accommodate you. And your lovely family. Oh, I've got a hand baking show. A man bought his own bell, brought his own bell. Brought his own bell to a first date, a Tinder date,

to get the attention of the staff to make their order. No, there's so much wrong with this. There's so much wrong. We already said clicking is bad enough, but BYO Bell is next level. So we asked you. Even on a first date, anyone that talks rudely to wait staff,

that's a... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter who they are. That's a no-go. Absolute. Red flag. Not even a red flag. That's an over.

That's a no. Yeah. All right, so we want to know what's happened on a first date. What did somebody do? Corey, what happened? Hey, so I leave in town on, like I said, that night. Share this taxi with a girl.

Everything got on well. We said, okay, we'll meet up. So met her, like, for a drink during the week. And all she could do was brag about how she was on her third suspended suspension for drink driving. Oh, no. Three DUIs. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, and this was, like, over 15 years ago, so early 20s. So she'd been working hard at such a young age. Also, back then, like, that's when the limit was higher, so she would have been really sloshed behind the wheel. Yeah, yeah. Surely after... How many guys do you get? How many guys do you get?

Do you lose your licence? Who knows? Oh, I knew another dude that was on his fifth, but, I mean, he was... God, they're very lenient, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. But, no, no, that fifth time, he went behind bars for that. Oh, yeah, right. He wasn't proud of that.

This girl was fully, like, wearing it like a badge. And, Corey, were you instantly like, no, she's not for me? I would have... Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. I would have dinged the bell and said the date's over. Be like, we're done, next. Brilliant, Corey, thanks for your call. Tony, what happened on a first date?

Hi. So this was years and years ago, but we were driving to get this guy's brother from the airport and he just had massive road rage. And we were like tailgating every single car on the road. He was in a massive SUV just screaming at everyone. Oh, God!

Also, on a first date, he's like, by the way, we just have to get my brother from the airport. No, that's a do that on your own time thing. We're not doing errands. That's not very sexy. I mean, I shan't judge. I am somewhat of a rager myself, behind the wheel,

and I do love a little, I just get a little nudge with my, I just want to get a little bit of a nudge going. A little tailgate. And don't cut her off. Yeah. No, no, no. Tony, thanks for your call. Some messages in.

My daughter went on a dinner date with someone last week. He answered his phone and talked in a different language for 20 minutes, and she was just like looking at him, and every now and then he'd look at her and be like, just to give a little language for 20 minutes and she was just like looking at me every now and then he'd look at her and be like, just to give a little nod. 20 minutes? Yeah. I really want to know. You'd have to say, do you mind if I've got to pop outside and just take this?

And then you say to the person, I can't talk, I'm on a date. 20 minutes is not good. I could literally be talking about her I'm speaking in a language she doesn't understand. I know, I would have got out Google Translate and just had it on. Smart boy, smart boy. Alana, what happened on a first date? I'm speaking in a language she doesn't understand. I know. I would have got out Google Translate and just had it on. Oh, yes. Smart boy, smart boy. Alana, what happened on a first date?

So I went out with this dude, and he seemed pretty cool, and we'd sit down for dinner, and he ordered a steak and chips and pulled out a flask, and I was like, okay, maybe he wants some water to go with his beer and I don't know why he won't drink the table water, but whatever. And he started eating his dinner with his hands, like literally pulling his steak apart like some kind of animal and eating it with his hands. And then afterwards washed his hands with the warm water that he'd bought in his flask that was like dripping all over the floor.

And he used the napkin and I said, what are you doing? I don't trust these utensils in this place. I don't trust what the utensils in this place. But he left his filthy phalanges. Oh my god. So leaning up to this moment

he was perfectly normal. Well, yeah. She's like, well, clearly not. He's been apart of state with his bare hands. I don't... Wow. And you obviously didn't get a second date? Hell no.

Hell no. Love it. Alana, thanks for your call. More messages in. I went on a Tinder date with a guy and he picked me up and his car was filthy and disgusting, filled with ciggy packets. I knew the second I saw the car, I was never going to see him again after the date I blocked him on everything.

They reckon the car's the way to tell what the person's going to be like. Because they can whip around and do a tidy up if you go to their house. But that's misleading because if I jumped into your now Suzuki Jimny, your new car. Which I'm trying to keep tidy. It's very clean and tidy,

but the Honda that you had, mass murderer vibes. Yeah. If you jumped into my car at the moment, you'd probably catch something. There's feral in there. Yeah.

A bit of a feral car. A bit of a stank going on. You've got a couple of nuggies on the floor. Yes, I think there's a few chips that have fallen down the side. First out, I met up with a lady

who requested I park down her driveway. Naturally being a gentleman, I obliged. We were supposed to go to the pub for a few, but she said she didn't want to as her phone wouldn't work. I inquired what she meant. She pulled out the baby monitor. I had no idea she had kids, but we had a date in the driveway

and then in her house because then the baby monitor was still within the base here. You famously can't leave babies alone in the house, can you? No, it's certainly not popped down to the pub. Very much frowned upon. Although, what's the range on those baby monitors? Well, you get a Wi-Fi one. Because if there was a pub next door, if you lived above the pub.

I mean, you probably wouldn't want to leave a toddler that can walk around, but a baby would be all right. My first date, they asked me my favourite position. They asked how much money I had, how much money I earned, and how many people I'd been with. I was like, this is all too much for My first date, they asked me my favourite position. They asked how much money I had, how much money I earned and how many people I'd been with. I was like, this is all too much for a first date. We talked about that term before, though. Hardballing. That's a new thing people are doing, like getting the info.

Yeah, not messing around. How many people you've slept with? It's none of your business. Inconsequential. Plus, Fletch can't count that. Everyone say their number on three. One, two. Well, today's Silly Little Poll. Which day do you consider the first day of the week?

I'd say this is, out of all the times we've done Silly Little Poll, the most resounding. Yeah. Resounding. 95% Monday. And you know what? It feels good to be in a minority because I'm a big Sunday guy. Are you? The first day of the week, Sunday.

I didn't know this about you because I'm a big Sunday guy. Are you? The first day of the week, Sunday. I didn't know this about you. I'm a big Sunday guy. I like my calendars to go from Sunday to Saturday. No. No. Why? What is my calendar? I don't know.

Sunday ends the week. This is the argument I've had with people before. My iCal on my computer goes Monday to Sunday, and that's how I like it. You're saying? Because I'm not a song-a-pan. I don't like the Sunday. Yes. Is it an American thing, the Sunday to Monday?

The Sunday to Saturday? The Sunday to Saturday? I don't know if that's a regional thing. I guess, like, as modern humans, our life revolves around the work week. And for the majority of people, we're going to wake up sheeple. We are.

I mean, if you're protesting at Parliament and don't have a job, what day of the week is it? No one knows. It's like the holidays, are you like, Thursday? Where am I? Cassie says, because Sunday is part of the weekend. It's not the week start. The week end. The week end. But I like to think

Cassie nails that. Friday is more of an honorary weekend member than Sunday because Sunday, you've got to have Monday in mind. Well, Michelle messages from Doha. She lives in Doha. She said, I live in Doha and Sunday is the first day of the week. Friday and Saturday is the weekend here. Yeah, because Saturday is a holy day.

But Dubai just changed because that used to be the same in Dubai, but now they've gone to regular weekends, haven't they? Regular, the regular Christian structure. Yeah, Friday, Saturday used to be, yeah, the big guy. Is that what it's about? Is that what it's based on? Is like Sunday in a Christian environment is the Lord's day? Was that his last day?

Was that his last day? That's where he put his feet up. Yeah. He'd done it. Well, if you believe the yarns. On Sunday he rested and he... Ella said, what kind of effing maniac thinks Sunday's the first day of the week? to speed up. Yeah. He'd done it. Well, if you believe the yarns. On Sunday he rested. Ella said,

what kind of effing maniac thinks Sunday's the first day of the week? This effing maniac. Big fan. Devin said, voted Sunday because when you sing the kids'

days of the week song, you start with Sunday and calendars look wrong when they start on a Monday. See, this guy's speaking some... Oh, I don't know about that. What's that?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Sunday is... So carry on, carry on. Sunday is spent worrying about Monday. So it starts like the feel of the... That's, yeah, see, maybe it's anxiety tied to work on Monday that makes Sunday feel like the start of the week.

Well, you're in a tiny minority. I am in a tiny minority. You're in almost an anti-vax level minority. Whoa! Let's start another protest outside Parliament for recognising Sunday as the first official day of the week. It's not happening. It's safe to say you're wrong.

You're wrong. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Um, t'was me birthday yesterday, but kind of had a whole weekend of it. And that was a whole thing. Very, I feel like today I'm okay, but tomorrow I'm going to be tired. Yeah. We all went over and surprised you, didn't we? Was that a surprise?

Did you know? That was a surprise. I had multiple stages of surprise. We had an accommodation over there and some friends arrived at the accommodation and I was like, this is unexpected. And then we went out for dinner that night and I was walking in to the same place we got married actually. And I was walking and I looked up and I was like,

I said, man, that guy looks like Mike. My friend Mike. And he like looked and I was like, Mike. And he's like, hey man. And I was like, hold on, I know all these people. So there was a table full of people there. That was really cool. And then yeah, the next day when we went out for a late lunch, I walked in and heaps of people were there. A few too many.

A little overwhelmed, to be totally honest. It was full noise. She was all go. And I was a little, I wasn't hungover, but I was like, we had a bit of a blowout the night before. Yeah. Had a couple of ocean swims. Oh, lovely.

Love an ocean swim. Saw somebody's entire situation at the ocean swim. A lady was getting changed beside her car and she fell over and I saw her. I saw her bum bum. I saw her the lot. I saw the whole undercarriage. Oh, wow. I was like, are you okay?

And she's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. And was like mortified. I'm fine, but I'm naked. Yeah, from the bottom down. Goodness. Oh, wow. And I tell you what, that'll wake up a man in his 40s.

So there was that. There was many gifts. I got some really cool gifts. Yeah, nice. I'm wearing one today. I got my own piece of grandson from friends. Hirtoki, I believe it's pronounced. Yeah, beautiful.

Check this. It's gorgeous. I love it. I love it. It'sirtoki, I believe it's pronounced. Yeah, beautiful. Check that. It's gorgeous. I love it. I love it. It's very big, isn't it? They took a photo of me and he said that guy needs a big girthy one. And I said, well,

I've got a small skinny one at the moment, so I'll take anything big and girthy. Yeah, nice. Yeah, lots of cool presents. I've got an axe. I've got, you know, but the one you guys want me to talk about because you think it's weird,

my very close group of friends got me a lathe, a woodworking lathe. So the lathe, I'm looking up because there's so many tools and I don't think I knew what it was. Predominantly you make things like chair legs. Like you're making stool legs. Yeah, what can you make with a lathe? Legs for dresses. Yeah.

I watch tons of, my Facebook algorithm for the videos is old toys and stuff getting restored. Like, guys find our old rusty things, they sandblast them down. That made me really want one of those little sandblasting units. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do some sandblasting and some painting and stuff. But lathing, those little sandblasting units. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do some sandblasting and some painting and stuff. But lathing, there's so many things

you can do with a lathe. You can make bowls. Yeah, I've Googled here wood lathe projects for, is it lathe or lathe? Lathe. Lathe. Did you ever use

a lathe at school? No. It's not, you've got to, you can't have any loose stuff. The old long hair, if that gets ripped around the lathe, it'll just tear your scalp out.

Remember we did some lathing? Yeah. At intermediate? College. We did lathing at college. They didn't trust us at all. Oh, it was pretty loose back then. They let you on the lathe.

Well, there's some wood projects, wood lathe projects for beginners. You've got things like... Spoons? Goblets, bowls, pens, wooden spoons, bottle stoppers, wooden rings. My favourite? Bangles.

There's a particular type of woman. Wow! If you could make these bangles and go down to that Wellington protest you'd make a pretty penny.

I would absolutely make a set up a stall actually. Nice wooden bangles at the Wellington protest markets. None of those Sade's going to let you put in the house

also. No, it doesn't have big Sade energy to to let you put in the house also. No, it doesn't have big Sade energy to be fair. She might like a big bowl. She might like a sort of a flat bowl.

What about a bottle stopper for a bottle of wine or a bottle of whiskey? Or like a cork sort of situation. Do you make the whole thing? You make the whole thing that's all made out of

nothing. Rugged West Coast driftwood spoons is going to be my first business off the ground. Have you ever been to a market?

The spoon, the wooden spoon market is corn. It's a saturated market. It's a saturated, everybody's. Yeah, look, it's a saturated market. Everybody's selling wooden spoons. No one's marketing their wooden spoons. Also, you're making everything that you can get from Kmart for $2. Yeah, but.

So you could take the root of a tree and put it on. Yeah. I just had a look and someone's put a big bloody girthy root there. Oh, yeah. I'd say that's advanced lathing, though. That's a bit beyond my capabilities. You could make your own set of cube, the game. A set of cube.

Although they're quite square. With a rounded edge? Yeah. It's doable. See, now I need – Now I need – I've got a list of my tools that I want next that I will use, I'm guessing, half a dozen times tops.

And then it'll sit in the garage and never be used. But when people come around, they'll be like, oh, my God, look at all your tools. And I'll be like, yep. Also, does this mean every birthday from now on we're getting like a wooden leg or something? Each year, just one leg. Yeah, I'll make you a kit set furniture.

And on the fifth year, we get the base. Yeah, and then you sit on it and you're like, it's wobbly. I'm like, well, you've got to wait for the support beams to go between the legs for your next birthdays. So in seven years, we'll have a full chair. Hold on. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. How strong do you want this chair? Quite strong.

Ten. A decade. A decade. I'll be over 40 then. And Quite strong. Ten. A decade. A decade. I'll be over 40 then. And you'll have a lovely stool to show for it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I have to say, I am somewhat of a social butterfly. I crave people.

Well, even after our big weekend of Vaughan's birthday partying, you still went out last night. And I went out on Friday. I love it. I love socialising. I recharge by socialising. Oh, I'm done. I said to Shade, I'm done until at least Easter weekend.

You need a couple of months off. I can't face groups bigger than six. Yeah, I always say that after a big social weekend. I'm like, oh, I'm looking forward to a weekend. But then by Tuesday? Someone's like, oh, at least we can't jump for a little social weekend. I'm like, oh, I'm looking forward to a weekend. But then by Tuesday. But then someone like tickles a little. Yeah, a little. Someone's like, oh, at least we can't jump for a little wine. I'm like, absolutely.

That's extroverted me. But they're saying now, there's a survey that's just been done for adults over 21. Yeah. That's my like peak going out years. Yeah. Staying in, it's the new going out. Most people would prefer to stay in 69%. Nice. Nice. staying in it's the new going out most people would prefer to stay in

69% nice nice prefer to stay home on weeknights of course and 38% on weeknights

that's 100% stay in oh I love a little weeknight out it is really if it gets me out of a house on a weeknight it's gotta be

a Marvel movie premiere yep that's all that's all see I could do a weeknight, it's got to be a Marvel movie premiere. Yep. That's all. That's all. That's it? See, I could do a dinner. Or a nice dinner. I could do a dinner, but it's not a lot of drinking.

One or two absolutely max drinks. I don't know. And then home. I can't help myself. When I go to a nice dinner, I get the bug. I'm out, I'm out. And I want another little drink. And then when I wish I could go to a bar afterwards.

I'm off, I'm off. Well, most people want to stay home on the weeknights. 38% now, though, say they would continue to want to stay at home, be homebodies on Saturdays and Sundays. That's a large percentage of people that don't ever want to leave the house. Yeah. This is a stat that I get. I understand the feeling of it.

And you agree. 71% look forward to plans being cancelled. Oh, I love it. That text like, hey, man, I'm so sorry. I know we're going to hang out today, but something's come up. Got a wedding coming up. You're like, oh, please, COVID. No.

Whoa. Have you invited Fletch to a wedding? There's your actual true feelings. He doesn't want to be there. Of what he thinks about marriage on a whole. I don't want to be at anything. People would rather stay at home binge watching TV. When we were in the line for that bar on Saturday night

or Sunday morning, I was like, why am I here? We were absolutely going to leave. We were in a line. We were at the front of the line. There was no way I was doing a line. At one point, Fletch did say, do I have to say, do you know who I am? I did not say that.

He's pulled that before. You know who I am? And they were like, absolutely no idea. I would never. Are you kidding me? By at least a decade on all of us. No, he used to pull it older. I'm pretty sure Hayley said, does he know I'm on TV?

Does he know I'm on TV? I absolutely hate to say it. Well, he's about to. Have you been paying attention, mate? Have you seen the baking show? What's it called? No, that did make me want to not go out again. Oh, my God, I know.

I don't do lines for anything. Well, we lined up for that one. Not at that time of night. You were both fools. Well, there were friends we had to see. There were friends there. There was some very big peer pressure. We weren't going in to just be there as a group,

but people would rather stay in binge-watching TV, finishing a book from start to finish. Get a life. Going for a nice walk. Oh, my God. Get a wine in you. Perfect weekend includes walking, reading, and sleeping in. Nah.

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All right, that's the first add to cart, Georgia, with your next item at 11 o'clock. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. At the weekend, after your surprise 40th born, we ended up at a bar. We took the ferry back from Waiheke Island. Responsible. Where you were.

Better than driving. Driving back from the island. Yeah. And we had some friends at a bar. So we were like, well, before we go home. We'll have a nightcap. We'll have a nightcap. Just one drink.

So we go to this bar And meet up with my friends Hayley's here With her fiance Tell me when one last stop Has ever been a good idea Never I wish we'd never gone

The next morning I was like That was the drink that did me It is mine It wasn't I can't believe you Went marching yesterday When you seen that photo

I'm too hung up for marching I'm like Yeah my alarm went off At 8 o'clock I was like strapped in Tights, undies, skirts, boots up, and I went and marched for five hours. You're a unit.

Absolute madness. So we get to the spa, and one of my friends there is a doctor. How did this come up? I don't know, because at one stage I look over, and Hayley has her bare, because you were wearing Birkenstocks? No, I was wearing sandals, yeah. Hayley has her bare, because you were wearing Birkenstocks? No, I was wearing sandals. Hayley has her bare foot on the table and all I can see is a big rash. And she's asking my friend, the doctor, what the rash is and how to treat it.

At like midnight. I must have said, what do you do for a living or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just some banter. Yeah, yeah, I'm a doctor. Oh my God, perfect. Do you know what? Because it's really been giving me some grief. It's been here for a living? Or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just some banter. Yeah, yeah. I'm a doctor. Oh my God, perfect. Do you know what? Because it's really been giving me some grief.

It's been here for a couple of months. Because I left, this is what I imagine has happened. I thought it was eczema because I am eczema prone. Okay. And I've been itching it and I've been opening it, you know, reopening the wound a little bit. And I was wearing my old Birkenstocks and I realised what had happened. And I'd left old Birkenstocks and I realised what had happened

and I'd left my Birkenstocks out in the rain and they'd gone really wet and gross and then I think I wore them and I imagine I got some kind of mould infection. Is it like an athlete's foot? Is it like a tinea? It's on the top of your foot.

Yeah, it's like, it's sort of like red and patchy. Don't touch it. It's red and patchy and I've noticed it's sort of spreading onto my other foot. Right. That's why I brought it up for spreading. So you thought at midnight in a bar you would ask your doctor for some medical advice. I know, but at the moment. What better place, what better time.

At the moment with COVID, you know, it's so hard to get in to see my doctor. So it'd be an on the phone appointment. And I need someone to look it in the eye and tell me what it is. Yeah. And not pay any money. Yeah, they did believe, your friend believed it was either just an eczema that I need to stop itching.

Okay. Because I keep sort of reopening it with my fingernails, like a child. Do you tell them to mind his own business when he finally gave you the advice? I don't do that. Mind your own damn business. And just put some hydrocortisone on it.

Oh, yeah, okay. I'll get round to it Love a bit of Hydrocortisone Oh Sam it burns off anything Huge fan I saw an opportunity And I went for it

You know what I mean Yeah but do you know How many people do this to him Yeah all the time All the time All the time You're a doctor Oh my god can you

Have a look at my armpit Yeah I've got a terrible thing there Do you know what it always is An ingrown hair Yeah I feel like anytime You show something to a doctor They're like That's an ingrown hair. Yeah. I feel like anytime you show something to a doctor, they're like,

that's an ingrown hair. Well, it could be a tumour. I mean, let's not. The body's a bit more complicated than always being a... You do go see your doctor and actually get things looked at. Yeah. Well, look. What got me thinking, are there people listening

in the same boat where you get punished after hours because of what you do for a job and I always feel sorry for photographers and graphic designers graphic designers especially hey, can you just do me a free invite because people, yeah, they don't have any idea of what's

involved in it, or hairdressers being like, could you give me a trim come over for a wine, bring your scissors bring your scissors. Yeah. Bring your scissors. Do you find this- And that dye that you've got that you said is better than that stuff I buy at the supermarket in a box.

Yeah, can you- God, if you're going to make such a big deal about me dyeing my hair with that, then you better be able to- Freshen up my roots. Yeah. Solve it for me. Do you guys find this as people that work in the entertainment industry that often when you go to a wedding, you're working?

No. Oh, me and Aaron have MC'd weddings. You have MC'd. Constant MC. You're the speech giver. You're the MC. You're entertaining the people. Yeah.

I mean, I feel a lot of that you put on yourself and people who have had you at their weddings probably are like, she made that all about herself. Absolutely. I see an audience and I thrive. It's not your big day. Oh, I love the attention of it. All right. Well well when does your job follow you home or to the bar do you buy to the bar when do you get punished after hours because of what you do for a job

oh 800 dials at him want to hear from you this morning well at a bar midnight Hayley gets a manky foot on the table and asked my friend the doctor what's wrong with the rash. What's the rash all about? He has just messaged and said you can get a MyCream H, which will clear up a fungal infection as well and it's got the hydrocortisone in it. But athlete's foot? Yeah. Have you been showering at the gym? But athlete's foot is usually underneath.

Between the toes. And this is right on the band of where my Birkenstocks. Oh, it's so itchy. It sounds like you've got some fungal from the Birkenstock strap. I think my wet, mouldy leather on my feet made it bad. Well, whether you're a doctor at a bar or some other occupation, what punishing requests do you get from people after hours because of what you do for a job?

Yeah. And we're hearing from a lot of people. Do you reckon chefs would get this a lot? Oh, 100%. Like, you go over to their house, you're like, oh, I'd love something fancy. And they're like, dude, we're doing eggs. Yeah, I'm not working now.

No. We'll take some calls. Hannah, what punishing request do you get after hours? Well, I work as a dental assistant. Oh, okay. People are constantly just going, ah, at you. Yeah, so, well, I have a lot of people, especially if I go to the supermarket or somewhere just after work,

I get a lot of people ask sort of, like, how much does this cost? And, oh, I need this done. And how much do you think that'll be? And, oh, do you reckon you could book me an appointment? I'm not your personal assistant. Is that because you're wearing your uniform? Yes, it is. I wear scrubs.

Oh, right. So I often get asked what I do. Right. And are people like, is this a good toothpaste? Yes. I was going to say. Everyone's always asking what kind of toothpaste should I be using. Seriously, Hannah, what kind do you use?

What do you say? Because some of them are a bit abrasive. Let's talk turkey. I'm going to need to buy a new tube. What do you reckon? I personally use a Sensodyne one. I reckon they're great. They clinically proven to remove plaque.

Someone's on big Sensodyne money. I love a Sensodyne tooth. It saves me having to come and see you folks. If I get a sore tooth or a tingly tooth, I just brush with Sensodyne for a few weeks. Problem solved. Vaughan's been numbing his teeth for the last 10 years. Yeah, I can't even feel them.

He's putting his own injections in at this point. Hannah, thanks for your call. Claudia, what punishing request do you get after hours because of your job? Oh, I picked up Kay accidentally there. Kay, what punishing request do you get? So I'm a solicitor, so

I get some great ones. Yeah, so I'm not anything interesting, I'm just property, but I get like, oh, my husband, or my brother's having some, like, family issues. Can you give me some advice? It's like, no, I don't do family law.

Have you ever had a friend call you at, like, 1 a.m., like, can you get me out of my DUI? No, I haven't. I haven't. I've had quite a few people go, oh, I'd love to have your number just in case something happens. It's like, no. Those are also the sorts of people you don't want having your number full stop.

Yeah. And it can backfire because you actually got a close friend of ours to do your well-worn. And that's ended up in quite a predicament, hasn't it? They pay you, we have to pay the ultimate price. I mean, I won't say his name because it's the sort of behaviour that could get him struck from the bar. Trust the professionals. Yeah, and pay actual money. Yes. Yes the professionals. Yeah, and pay actual money. Yes.

Brilliant. Kay, thanks for your call. Claudia now. Claudia, what requests do you get after hours for work? Good morning. I used to be a make-up artist, and basically I'm the only one in my friend group who can do hair and make-up.

I'm the only one who can curl hair with a straightener. Basically, my friends would hold me to ransom and blackmail me, and they'll say they're not going out unless I do. Nice you do that. Well, then they're not going out, Claudia. Damn them, Langham. Yeah, but what are they blackmailing you with? Well, they're just saying that they're not going to go out

and they're not going to have a good time unless they look pretty. And you'll be all out on your own. Teach a woman to curl for a woman, make her happy for a night. Teach her to curl, keep her happy for a lifetime. Does it mean because you're spending all the time on your friends that you end up going out with like a manky, greasy ponytail and a bit of mascara on? That's usually what happens. I get to the end and I wouldn't put an effort into mine because I just feel, you know, my batteries will drain. Yeah.

That's sad. I know. Do they have any skills that you can call on? A trait? No. No, time for time. I've got no skills. I've had good friends.

It's not only been scummy people that expect free hairdos and makeup, but they've also got nothing in return to offer. It's time to get some new friends, maybe. Claudia, thanks for your call. Matt, you're a mechanic. Yeah, well, I was many years ago, and we literally went to a friend's place for a barbecue, my wife's new workmate,

and within about half an hour, the conversation turned to, oh, I've actually got an oil and filter here for my car. Do you think you could do a full service on it while you're here? Jesus! No, absolutely not. Oh, I've actually got an oil and filter here for my car. Do you think you could do a full service on it while you're here? What? No, absolutely not. You didn't do it, though, did you? I was trying to impress my wife's new workmates. I was trying to impress them.

Of course, you did. Good boy. Yeah, of course, like husband of the year. So I did a full service on this person's car, which was a POS and didn't even need a service anyway. Right. And that was the only time we got invited for a POS and didn't even need a service anyway. Right. And that was the only time we got invited for a barbecue. Oh, I'd be sending an invoice.

Yeah. You wouldn't want to be. You'd be doing tyre alignment next time. Or something else. Cambout, yeah. Come over for a roast. I need a cambout done. You'd better come over early though because those things take a while.

Very cheeky. Matt, thanks for your call. Some messages in. I work at the council, but my specific area is processing food and alcohol licences and that is all I do at the council. Good Lord, that doesn't stop people telling me about potholes or berms that need taking care of.

Or their consents that are taking too long. Or the rubbish that's been dropped. Can I get the number of this person? Because I want to get a speed bump installed outside my house. Absolutely. Carly's in, eh? Thank you. We'll sort out a...

Why do you want a speed bump? I just like people to slow down a little bit. I've got a cat, very precious to me. I've told Vaughan before, because he used to live on a speedy street, you've got to get the AliExpress road spikes. Yes. Oh, you're the DIY. I'll stop you.

Yeah, and while you're on AliExpress, get a road sign that says road spikes active in area. Yeah, fantastic. You've worn them then. Yeah. I work in IT. Oh, yeah. Say no more. Yeah.

Say no more. I'm a plumber. And quite often in restaurants, I'll go missing from the table only for my partner to find me fixing a leak in the kitchen or unblocking a toilet in the bathroom. I don't really mind because I get free drinks and meals out of it. Oh, yeah.

So there's a bit of a barter system going on. That's good. I like that. Although the IRD won't like that. Shh. Let's keep the performance for a while.

It's optional anyway. What do I get involved in? Tax is not optional, Hayley. All right, then. Somebody else said, I'm a preschool teacher. Early childhood education. Oh, Play-Doh. Early childhood education Oh Play-Doh

Always making Play-Doh At people's houses People just think Yeah people just think We want to look after Their kids for free Oh god Oh no

No you do it all week You've done enough I'm a personal trainer If I ever People say what do I do I say I'm a personal trainer They start asking me for advice Or to like do up a workout

For them on the spot Oh no no no Out in the middle of nowhere Apparently Producer Jared Saying his The midi Was at your party trainer, they start asking me for advice or to like do up a workout for them on the spot. Oh, no, no, no. Out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, producer Jared saying his, the middie was at your party at the weekend was punished with chat about her job. Oh, well, because she's a dental assistant. Yeah. So, yeah, everyone was just telling her.

I wasn't, was I? I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Who's punished her? I've got all my guests. Hayley. Oh, of course she was. I was like, did I?

Yeah, a little bit. Just telling, like, everyone was telling her their, like, horror dental stories. Oh, yeah. I told her about how I got my wisdom teeth removed and the dentist halfway through was like, I wouldn't have done this had I have known. And I was like, well, too late.

Keep pulling. Yeah, I did. We did punish, actually. Yeah. So there was another 39 people there who did the same thing. What are you talking to her about? I should do dental assistant. Wow.

I might have asked her if they still use that orange toothpaste they had at school. Yeah, I think we were both on the punish line. That was good stuff. And a real gritty texture to it. I love that. Why doesn't my toothpaste have that much grit? I know. Toothpaste isn't the same now.

I want orange gritty toothpaste at home. Is it bad for you to do all the time? Can she get us some of that? Can you ask her? I'll message her now. Is it abrasive? Thanks. Is it too abrasive to use on the daily?

God, I love this. I like a bit of abrasion. Like instantly you can taste the flavour, right? I can taste it now. I can feel the grit. Yes. And I can see up an old woman's nose. Oh, yeah.

Always having to pair up an old woman's bloody noses. It's just a big, gaping, bloody nosy. Every now and then you see a little booger in there. Oh, God, yeah, terrifying. Well, they use that one when they do that. The big... Yes. What did that one do?

The buffer. I think it's a buffer. Was that a polisher? Yeah. I thought it was a big grinder in the early... Before they got down to the real... No, that was always the end, wasn't it? The toothpaste clean.

Yeah, yeah. They put the moussey stuff on, the gritty mousse. Good stuff. Oh, my. They put the moussey stuff on, the gritty mousse. Good stuff. Oh, my teeth suddenly feel quite furry. Yeah. I feel like my dental hygiene's really been lacking. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that in 1969, a documentary aired that had followed the Royal Family for a year.

The first sort of like televised visual peek behind the curtain that is the British Royal Family. I thought this would make a great fact of the day because the Queen's got COVID. Yeah, long before reality shows. Long before it. Royal Family was what it was called in 1968. It began, they edited it as they went and then released this documentary in 1969.

So many people watched it. It was the most watched television event in British history. Wow. That the amount of toilets flushing in the ad break caused a water shortage. Because the ad break synced up everyone's... Because in the UK,

everybody went to the ads at the same time. So everyone was like, toilet, rush to the toilet, wee, wee same time. So everyone is like, toilet. Rush to the toilet. Wee, wee, wee. Not poo, poo, poo. You're not going to have enough time. Wee, wee, wee.

It depends. Wee, wee, wee. Maybe someone's going like two wees, one flush. Yeah. Or one flush per wee. When they drink a lot of tea, probably sit down for a cup of tea.

That's what I was wondering. And he goes straight through. Yeah. If before it aired, if there was a power problem. Yeah, because they were all putting the kettle on in their high drain devices. How? And so they would put it on. But yeah, the amount

of flushing and because the pressurised water system isn't meant for everybody to drain it at once. Yeah. Yeah, it caused a water shortage. I wonder if like during big TV events now, like say an All Blacks final, you're in the final of the World Cup, if there's a noticeable flush surge at the halftime?

Probably. I mean, you're right. You just wait. Your body waits for the ad break. Right, yeah. And that's when you kind of maybe relax if it's a tense watch and you're ready to go. That's insane. This documentary apparently can be found online.

Okay. If you want to watch it, I'm as old. They're so fascinating, aren't they? The royal family. Hello, the crown. Watch that. I haven't watched the crown. Are they going to deal with Andrew and the crown, do you think? I don't think they'll stop before they get to Andrew.

When do you reckon they're going to stop? When do you reckon the crown's going to- I think they've said they're going to stop at a certain point, aren't they? Are they going to get another queen? Or are they just going to age up Olivia Colman? Was she the last one? Have they had another one since then? To be honest, I've only seen the first season and a half.

Right. Got very long. Yeah, it feels a bit long. Yeah. Right. Anne was a fox. Princess Anne. I'll go on record and say it.

Right. Are you judging the actress in The Crown? No, no, no. Real life Princess Anne I'll go on record And say it Right Are you judging The actress in The Crown No no no Real life Princess Anne Okay Real life Princess Anne Okay

Yeah there's corgis And everything In this documentary If this is up your alley But just don't flush The toilet in the ad break Yeah So

Today's fact of the day Is there was a Royals documentary The first peak behind the curtain It was so popular When it was broadcast on British television that it caused a water shortage in the ad break because everyone flushed their toilets.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Names always sort of define a generation, don't they? At the moment we've got a lot of Oscars, Gusses. Gusses. I don't know. Hunters. Floyds.

Wolf. What was the new Kardashian, Jenin, whatever name? Fox. Wolf. I quite like that. Something a bit different. Yeah, you did like that. Yeah, they did.

So they're saying that these 90s baby names are going to go extinct. We're not seeing them anymore. So the top baby names, this is in Australia, top baby names in 1996 that we're not going to see anymore. So the top baby names, this is in Australia, top baby names in 1996 that we're not going to see anymore. Keith. Baby Keith.

So down the bottom, we'll go from 10 to 9. Jake and Samantha. Yep. Number 9, Benjamin and Lauren. Number 8, Nicholas and Chloe. 7, Michael and Rebecca. 6, Jack and Georgia. Jack and Georgia's I still see around. 5, Thomas and Emma. Six, Jack and Georgia. Jack and Georgia's I still see around.

Five, Thomas and Emma. Four, Daniel and Stephanie. Three, Joshua and Emily. Two, James and Sarah. One, Matthew and Jessica. Those were the big names in the 90s. Those were the big names for 90s babies. Those names had a good 80s vibe to them too.

When you were going through that list, were you just like, I know them, I know that name, I know that name? Yeah. But that's the thing, they're so overused that parents now are like, well, I can't use those names. Yeah. Because I know all my friends are called that. So now they've got the top 21, Archie, Willow, Zoe, Levi, Henry, Ava, Leo, Mia, Charlie, Amelia, Jack, Isla, Noah, Oliver, Olivia, Charlotte.

Those are the ones that are coming. Bit of a renaissance for some of these, isn't it? Yeah, Charlotte's an old... Because of the royal name though, right? The royal baby. The baby. Yeah. Yeah, they've always sort of,

they've got a real sound. Like those 90s names, I'm like, yep, I'm a 90s, I mean, I grew up in the 90s. Skimmed into the 80s, late 89. You expect Hayley to be on that list though? I did. A lot of Hayleys around. A lot of Hayleys around of similar

age to me. I went to school with a Hayley, grew up with a Hayley, had two Hayleys in marching. I've known Hayleys my whole life but you don't meet a lot of newborn Hayleys. Funny that names get retired. Not a lot of Patsies around anymore. Your mum's name? No. Yeah, Patsy

and Craig. Not a lot of kids. Not a lot of Craigs. Not a lot of baby Craigs. Or like you said, No. Yeah, Patsy and Craig. Not a lot of Craig's, not a lot of baby Craig's. Or like you said, Keith. Keith, yeah. Kevin. Where does Vaughn sit on this list? It's never been a big name. It's never been a name. Carl, that's it's the 80s, isn't it? Yeah. Very 80s. Well, you don't find anything in

souvenir shops with your name on it, do you? Never. Don't you? Never. I do, but it's always missing a Y or added an I or something misspelt. Anyway, so if you want to throw it back, I mean, the 90s is back fashion-wise. Yeah, will it be back baby name-wise? Will it be back baby name-wise?

They're saying no, they're going to be retired. We're not going to see any more Matthews and Jessicas. Well, a study's been done out of America. Now, this does not reflect the findings of our own audience. So we've also done a quick poll. When it comes time to cuddle a pet on the sofa or the couch or the bed, 61% of people out of this American survey would rather snuggle up to their pet than their partner.

Where do I sit on this? I do love a big man cuddle. Yeah, I love a big man cuddle. Yeah, well, you've got a big, big man, don't you? You've got a big, big man and a tiny little cat. Yeah. We've got the run to the litter. I don't know.

I do love cat cuddles. So the reason people in this study said they prefer their pets to cuddle up to is because they say they're usually cleaner and quieter. There's no snoring. They don't have to get up and go to the toilet all the time. Yeah, and they just don't disturb them. Your pet that literally licks its own butthole in front of you. Yeah, it's not cleaner.

It's cleaner than your partner. Tell your partner to get in the shower if that's the case. And if your partner needs to go out in the middle of the night, they can let themselves out. They don't start like pouring you or clawing at the door. Yeah. Well, we said on our Instagram, would you rather hug your pet or your partner?

63% partner. Love is alive. 37% rather snuggle up with the pet. That's still a big dose for the pets. Yeah, but maybe we've got better quality partners in New Zealand. Than pets. Than pets? No.

No, we don't. No, we don't. No, we don't, no. I mean, cats are soft. Yep. Men are rough. Yeah. In my life. Aaron's got a scratchy beard.

Rolly's got a soft little luscious belly. Well, there's no arguing with that. There's no arguing with that. Soft little belly. I'd rather bury my face into Rolly's lovely soft belly than Aaron's belly. Get into that belly. It was a good belly. I'd rather bury my face into Rolly's lovely soft belly than Aaron's belly. Get into that belly. It was a good belly.

Yeah. Shame the man for his soft little belly. What about you, Fletch? Probably. Well, the cat. The cat's on the bed all the time. The cat's, yeah. The most regular guest.

I don't feel it's a loving thing. He snuggles up either in winter when he wants warmth or because he wants food and he wants me to wake up. He wants to wake up. And feed him. They're smart, eh? They are, yeah.

Our cat knows how to sneak up onto the bed if he's ready for a cuddle. He just sort of pops up, pops in for a cuddle. If he wants food, he like thumps up. Yeah. And he does a little

to wake us up. And he knows and he'll crawl all over us. Because when you have a cat, you're the servant really, aren't you? You are the servant. It's their house.