ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st February 2023

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Top 6: Bare Minimum Mondays  True Crime Fans  When were you the last to find out?  Silly Little Poll!  Hayleys BathroomFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee made just the way you like it. It's wild we made it through the whole show without you guys commenting on how sort of jacked I look today.

No, I skipped the gym yesterday because I needed to get home to help around the house. The builders start tomorrow. So I thought maybe I wouldn't get a pump on. Yeah. That's what I like to call it. Why don't you get your pump on? Because I wouldn't get a little pump with doing the weights and stuff that I normally do at the gym.

Gotcha. But then yesterday, Aaron, and I posted this on my social media, and holy hell, the ladies were slip-slopping around after they watched it. The ladies? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aaron's, yeah, yeah. And some men. And some men, including yourself.

I was horny. This video didn't make me horny. It just made me jar it. Yeah, I felt it in my joints, too. I was like, oh, that would hurt. Because what we've discovered is where we're going to build our house, there's a whole ton of just random concrete pads around. So you can't put piles through that, so we've got to remove it all.

And Aaron's technique of removing it all is just whacking it. With the sledgehammer. With the sledgehammer. He should hire a little jackhammer. Yeah, hire a jackhammer. He doesn't need it. He's no little bitch. Whoa, he's a big boy.

He can do it manual. Anyway, so he broke up all these concrete pads, and then he went to do something else, He doesn't need it. He's no little bitch. Whoa. He's a big boy. He can do it manual. Yeah. Anyway, so he broke up all these concrete pads, and then he went to do something else, and I thought, I'm going to help out here, because I have been a little bit in the dog box. Have you? Well, you know, I had a big weekend a couple of weeks ago,

and then I've sort of been keeping busy, and then I am much, and I've just been busy and not really pulling my weight. Yeah. You've got to get back in the dog, you've got to get out of the dog box so that you can come to the cocktail and Mike him romance party. I haven't even mentioned that. That's how.

Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right. Watch out there. Yeah. We've got to be careful. Um,

anyway, so is he just going to see you at the concert on social media and, and then figure out that's where you are. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. I'm going to say it's a work event.

Yeah. We'll come back to this. Oh my God. You were going for, we have to be there. Oh cool. I'm going to say it's a work event. We'll come back to this. Oh my God, we're going for, we have to be there. Oh God, I've got to go to this freaking, as if I want to see them again. What am I, 16? Yeah, but. And then I say, well, isn't Vaughn there?

Yeah, he always does that. Is Vaughn there? Did Vaughn do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just hiding. He was there. Okay, you might need to come along just for a photo. You've got to come along. We've got to come along.

Photoshop me in. Yeah, okay. You've got to come along. We've got to come along. Photoshop me in. Yeah, okay. You've got to come along. Okay, we'll do that. Anyway, so I thought what I'll do is I'll chuck on a pair of gloves and I will carry all these slabs of concrete to the back of the ute. Wow. And we'll take it to the concrete recycling place.

That's why I'm jacked. There's a concrete recycling place? Yeah. Right by your house. No, that's just a ditch on the side of the road. It says no fucking tipping your fucking rubbish here. They're very aggressive about it. They recycle the concrete.

Now there is, there is. Why do they turn it up? Yeah, I guess so. You're not allowed to have any metal in it or anything. No, no rebar. But it's just going to be like bricks and concrete. Oh, that's cool. Powder it up and use it again.

That's great reusing. Yeah. They call it recycling. Makes sense. Reduce, reuse's cool. Powder it up and use it again. That's great reusing. Yeah. They call it recycling. Makes sense. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Anyway, so I did. I slapped on my dirty clothes, put on my hiking boots, because that's what you do when you're on the reno,

when you're on the side. You've got to be safe. And I lobbed two ute trays worth of concrete slats. Heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even I was showing off at some points, because I took my top off as I'm a bra again. You know how I like to renovate my bra.

And I was lifting them above my head. Because I'm really, I'm working the man. I'm trying to get out of the dog box. Yeah. It worked. And you were out of the dog box? Hell yeah. Wow.

You weaponized your boobs. I weaponized my boobs and my strength with concrete. This is good stuff. A woman in shorts, boobs, and a ute. Concrete slabs? Yeah, guys. You telling me? Yeah, watch out. Watch out. Watch is good stuff. A woman in shorts, boobs, and a ute. Concrete slabs? Yeah, guys. You telling me? Yeah, watch out. Watch out.

Watch out, neighbourhood. You'll have a line around the block of people coming for a look. Why not? I'm not any young ones. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley.

It's two minutes past six. Hello. You're very pink today. You've got a purpley tinge. But you've got a very bright... Oh my God, producer Shannon just came in and tripped up on utterly nothing. Tried to do it quietly. Yes, sneak away. I am very pink.

Pink vest. Pink vest today It's the pinkest pink You could probably ever pink It's a very pink pink Almost magenta Yeah I knew there was a word for it Thank you for reflecting back to me

Because I think we'll talk about this A little bit later I don't have a mirror anymore I don't have a bathroom anymore So I don't know what I'm wearing I don't know what I look like.

I don't know. You've done alright. She's done alright, hasn't she? I've got eczema on my eyes so I feel like a little bit like

a razor. You've got eczema on your eyes? Yeah, I get it all the time. On your eyelids? On your eye. Yeah,

on my eyelids. Oh, right. Not the ball. I've got the dermis of a rhino. I know, I wish I did.

I never have any skin conditions. I could wash my hands with palm olive every day and wouldn't. Oh know, I wish I did. I never have any skin conditions. I could wash my hands with palm olive every day. Oh, no, I can't. Never, I'm going to die. I've got a tough out of skin. I think we were ripping out some pink bats yesterday. Oh, yeah, okay, that'll be it.

We're the only thing left for this are glass fibres. Yeah. It deteriorates over time, apart from the stuff that just turns your skin to. Yeah. You've got to keep wearing protective clothing. We've talked your skin to. Yeah. And it's your mess. You've got to keep wearing protective clothing. We've talked about this.

It's hot. It's too hot. The last rash you got was from a poisonous plant. Shorts and bra. Oh my God. It's too hot. Yeah, you don't deal with woolly nightshade and shorts and a bra. All right.

Lots on the show today. Again, at 8 o'clock, our grocery grab is back thanks to the warehouse. So our big convey-about, a whole lot of items. We'll rush past grocery items that you can buy at the warehouse. And then you've got a short time to name as many as you can for each item. A $20 The Warehouse gift card. Do you know what? I'm going to do a tease early.

Add one to your list. Butter. It's on it. I'll just give it away. I'll give that one away for free. Oh, you're naughty. Very naughty. She's on it. I'll just give it away. I'll give that one away for free. Oh, you're naughty. Very naughty. She's very naughty.

Now, one item will be the golden item, which is actually worth $100. But we're not telling you which item that is. But 8 o'clock. What if it's butter and I've stuffed it up? For your chance to play. It's not. It's not. I've just checked.

Your chance to play and win at 8 o'clock this morning. The top six is on the way. Yeah, the top six days of the week with their new work-life balance, I guess you'd call it. Bare minimum Mondays are what some people are employing to do the start of the week, to just slowly work back into work. Isn't that just what working from home is?

Because everybody that works from home is just taking the piss, aren't they? No, I think it's get your job done, but that's exactly all. Right, like the quiet quitting? Yeah. Yeah. Pulling back. Beer minimum Mondays. Yeah. Okay. That's just you every

day though, isn't it? Beer minimum Tuesday. I don't want to blow out. There's a lot of day left when we finish here, you know? I don't want to spend all my energy points in the morning and then spend the a lot of day left when they finish here. I don't want to spend all my energy points in the morning and then spend the rest of the day recovering. Rinsed.

Yeah. Yeah. I've got an afternoon to make the most of, you know? Yeah. All right, that's coming up in the top six. Also, there's a wild rumour

about Jaina. There is a wild rumour about Jaina. China's come out. Well, no, China hasn't come out. But there is a, I'll call it a conspiracy theory,

about China, a discovery they have made and kept very secret. You would think we would know about this one. Next though, you may have heard about this in the news yesterday. Meta, Facebook, Instagram, with big plans and New Zealand. We are the guinea pigs. Yeah, Zaki made a post, didn't he, about it? Well, this news came out yesterday. New Zealand and Australia will be the guinea pigs for Instagram and Facebook's verified paid-for blue ticks.

Now, I get messages on my social media all the time saying, hey, give me your bank account details and I'll give you a blue tick. Yes. And I've fallen for that too many times, so I don't want the tick. You're done with it. I'm not ticked. I'm not ticked on any of my socials. On social medias.

I'm just a rand, I'm just a pleb. You're just a pleb. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Until now, Meta Verified was for, I guess, celebrities. Notable public figures. And they, either you applied or they just gave them to you. I feel like I'm a notable public figure.

You know, I feel like I'm notable. I'm in the public and I'm a figure. Do you? Do you? I just feel like it's. Well, yeah, they're going to roll it out. Now, this will charge US $11.99 a month if you do this through your web account.

Otherwise, if you're using Android or Apple, because they take a little cut. Oh, yeah, they take a little cut. It's a little bit more. It's $14.99 US a month. Right. A month? It's a subscription.

Yeah, it's a subscription. Oh, get out. It's not a one-off charge. Oh, no. It'll use government ID to verify the account and then give you the blue badge. Oh, don't give them your government ID. Don't give them your driver's license.

Don't give them your passport. No. No, no, no, no, no. So Twitter have done this where you can pay, and of course this has been weeks of controversy for Elon Musk. But then I think if you're a big celebrity on Twitter, you still have a different verified badge. Yeah, isn't it?

It's a different color. You pay for blue, but it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Are you guys verified? No. No plebs. We're plebs. Are you plebs as well? I'm just a man of. Yeah. Are you guys verified? No. No plebs. We're plebs. Are you plebs as well? I'm just a man of the people. Man of the people, yeah. I'm just a man of the people. Absolutely. No, if the

HZM is Bluetech. Is Bluetech. Is verified. But then, so if you try to impersonate a celebrity, like somebody tried to impersonate our page. Yeah. Celebrities. Celebrities. Celebrities. Blu-Tack. Yeah.

They pay for a Blu-Tack, then people will fall for it, won't they? Don't you, shouldn't you use like a be real, not a be real, real me thing where you're like government verified?

Don't do that. That's what you're going to be doing here, basically. They were like, oh, you can be verified, give us that. I'm like, you're not having that.

But you're saying scammers won't use their real ID're saying scammers won't use their real ID. won't use that, right? Like, if you were a scammer and I was trying to, if I was a scammer and I was trying to use,

get, pay for Vaughn's verification, I'd have to put in Vaughn's government thing. Yeah, right. Well, don't.

Could you fake that? You probably could Photoshop. No, because you've got to go into the post office and the post office never lies. No, right. Well, don't. Could you fake that? You probably could Photoshop. No, because you've got to go into the post office and the post office never lies. No, but not here. You're just literally going to have to take a photo of it

and send it in. So there'll definitely be people that could try to doctor that. But yeah, also, who's paying? If you were scrolling through Instagram and you saw an influencer or a friend

with a blue tag. Oh, it's rag on time. Who's paid for it? You're absolutely going to mow them down, right? It's time to remind them of their humble upbringing. Yeah, you're getting a new one. I'm trying to look at anyone who's verified who I would consider being a public figure.

I got... Oh, Madeline Sarmie, of course. Of course she is. Of course she is. Of course she is. She's got big verified energy. I got an email from Twitter the other day saying, I no longer have two-factor authentication

because I'm not paying for the blue tick. Oh, I got that message too. Yeah, they took away a level of security unless you pay for it. Nazi. Which is pretty crazy because that protects you so much. And exactly, I'm not paying for the blue tick on Twitter and it just makes their social media seem easier to corrupt. Yeah.

Because everyone that doesn't pay now loses an extra layer of security. Wow. Guys, comedian Chris Parker, he's got a blue tick. Now, we went to drum school together. We should be on par. Oh, my God. Monty Beetham, he's got a blue tick. You know I just

I feel like it should be Handed to me On a silver platter I thought you were A man of the people Cricketer Jimmy Neesham How did he get one Oh that's because

He's a cricketer He's played around the world He's a big international He has a big deal I'm a public figure He's a big deal You're not a big deal I'm a huge deal

You don't do a flying Left handed One handed catch You don't know that about'm a huge deal. You don't do a flying left-handed, one-handed catch. You don't know that about me. In the Big Bash. You don't know that. How much are you getting at the IPL auction? So much.

Do you even know what the IPL is? Manny McLean. Manny McLean's got blue tits. Oh, he's got a big deal. He's got a big deal. Yeah, but he's also got big blue-tick verified energy. Melanie Bracewell. She's got it.

We're the same person. She's an Australian superstar. She's got it. We're the same person. She's an Australian superstar. She's got her own TV show in Australia. Just remember you're a humble person of the people. Remember your roots. Ursula Carson's got one. I'm out. Well, she's a big deal.

These are my peers. These are my peers. I'm an international star. Do you have a Netflix show? Netflix special? Do you even have Netflix? I'm not paying for that shit. All right.

This is what happens when you get a blue tick. Yeah. And you bring it up to your friends. They'll put you straight in your place. Get reamed. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley the show.

Thanks to McCafe Drive-Thru. And get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. 17 past six. You are a national broadcaster. Do you literally just run out of breath in the middle of a sentence? Look. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made coffee. I've got a lot of sentences.

I've got to breathe somewhere. You just worry about getting your blue tick. Wow. Now, a lot of conspiracy theories. Were conspiracy theories around as much as they are now? Well, no, it's the internet's let everybody share all their whack job theories, right? They're more

amplified now. Wow. Well, there is a new one that has hit the internet, the talk, the gram, the book. And this is a woman trying to convince viewers that China has unearthed a land full of dinosaurs. Now, she has claimed that the world is in for a rude awakening.

Yeah. This has thousands and thousands, hundreds of thousands of views. She says China has found uncharted land that has been untouched with dinosaur bones and other species found, and some of them have a height of 13 feet tall, and some of them are still alive. Okay.

And we can't see this uncharted island or territory on satellite view? No, because China's hiding it. China's in charge of the internet. Oh, right. Yeah, they've chucked a tarp over it. A basic China chucking a camo tarp over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, just one of them big blue tarps because it's just surrounded by the ocean. So it just looks like sea. Just looks like the sea. Yeah. Classic China. It's a way to make it look like you've got a swimming pool too at the back of your house. Yeah, yeah, put a big round tarp out. Yep.

And then the Google satellite takes a photo. Well, now she said, they've got to leave it untouched. She said, wait, no one is talking about this, guys. No one is talking about this. You won't believe it. I was at the nail salon the other day and I overheard something.

Some shocking news. She wanted to explain that the nail salon, the technicians who were Chinese, were watching the Chinese news, which prompted her to use a translator app on her phone. Now that can't be wrong. That can't be wrong. Those translator apps can't be wrong.

She said what the translator told her was about this land with the dinosaurs. Right. Thousands of them. She said, I'm telling you, this information isn't even available in the USA. She can't find another source. Yeah.

Brokers is bullshit, you dumb idiot. Well, well, well, we don't know this. We don't know this. Let's give her the time of day. Yeah, I mean, that's probably a reason not to repeat a story when you do some checking and there are no other sources. No, no, no, because she got another source. So she's the source now because Well, she's got the translate.

Right. That's source one. But then she said to her nail technician. Yeah. Can you confirm this? Nail technician. Technician. So she speaks Chinese.

Is she the nail technician? Yeah. Gotcha. So she's like, does this indeed mean that the Chinese state media is speaking about a land of dinosaurs that nobody else is aware of? Yeah. Well, the nail technician confirmed that the news was about hundreds or thousands of dinosaurs. So we've got two sources there.

So that's two. Yeah. I mean, bear in mind that nail technicians are normally quite high. If you ever walk past a professional... Oh, my God. Oh, dude. Dude. Dude.

My dudes. Who was it who just discovered 7,000 islands that we've never seen before? Japan. 700, wasn't it? 7,000. 7,000. Yeah. Minimum little islands.

Yeah. Wild, eh? Because you just feel like... Do you ever fly over... You know when you're flying, say, particularly into the South Island, you look down, you see all the jagged ranges. Yeah. I always go like, I wonder if every square foot of that has been touched.

No. And then we say no, and then we go like, well, what about the world? How much of it's been touched? How much of it is uncharted? I'm freaking out, guys. It's the ocean. It's under the ocean that freaks me out. It's under the ocean. We haven't even been

down most of that. Well I mean we still can't find MH370 so there is a lot uncharted. It's the Dewey Decimal System it's in between MH 369 and MH371. Yeah that's right. It's in the architecture section.

Yeah, it was 7,000 islands that Japan just discovered. Like, what have you been doing all this time? Also, do they not have, like, satellites or boats? I know. What's happening there? Or just go the old classic way and get on a sailing boat. But, I mean, no

dinosaurs on those. Yeah, no, no, you want to go to the, to the ones in, in China. You know what,

I'm just saying if you, I'm just saying if you, if you're getting your nails done today, it may be worth sharing this information around and we could probably get it verified. We could probably get some more sources on this thing. I think that's how rumours started. I'm going to pop down to Professionale and ask them.

Oh yeah. About the Chinese dinosaur island. Is there anything that we should know about anywhere that they've heard, seen, or hallucinated as part of the chemical breathing experience that they live? Can we get an extractor fan in there? Oh, I know. Can we open a couple of windows? These poor people need airflow. I don't blame them at all.

They're not to blame. They probably love a bit more fresh air. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. There's a new trend in workplaces called bare minimum Mondays. It's to help people cope after the scaries, Sunday scaries. Right. Where you get scared of going back to work on Sunday.

And you get reflective of the decisions you've made over Friday and Saturday. Yeah. You're like, how will I ever pay back that uber-soilage fee? Which is just bad. And will that affect my rating? Yeah. So, you know, it's quite an anxious first few days of the week, isn't it? So bare minimum Monday is where you just ease into it, basically.

But you've been doing that your whole career, haven't you? Yeah. You do bare minimum Monday, chuck it in Tuesday. Yeah, well, let's not go through the whole list because that's what it is. Don't ruin the list. The top six workday productivity trends that I have been engaged in since I entered the workforce in 2002. Is that when you started working?

It's when I started working on the radio. You were just born a few years before, weren't you? 2002. No, I was 12 years old, but I had a job. I had a paper run. You had a paper run. You were probably doing more on this paper run than I was doing at the time because these are the top six workday productivity trends. Trademark Vaughan Smith, 2002.

Number six, wing it Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yeah, just see what's happening. Don't get too involved. Don't plan on Tuesday for Wednesday. You've got to wing it. Go, go, go, go, go.

No, no, no, no, no, no. And just like the wings of a bird, if it gets too much, scatter on out of there. Yeah. Where's Vaughn? He must be out doing something. He always looks busy. Number five on the list of the top six workday productivity trends, Vaughn Smith, trademark 2002.

Sleepy Sunday. If you're forced to work a Sunday, it sounds like the perfect day for a snooze on the job. It does, yeah. Under the desk. for a snooze on the job. It does, yeah. Under the desk. Under the desk. Under the radio desk. If you work in radio and you haven't had a snooze under the desk,

have you even worked in radio? It's a dream. You should have a snooze under the desk one day. I haven't had a snooze under the desk. I lie on the floor sometimes. Yeah, roll under the desk so no one can see you. Because people can come in from there, and if you're under the desk far enough, the studio looks empty.

Oh, perfect. Yeah. While we're on air? Sure. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Well, the weekends here.

Put it in autopilot. You just rock in, hungover, record six hours and have a sleep under the desk. Can I interrupt your top six to ask why you haven't done it in chronological order? Yeah, why don't you start with Tuesday and the list of importance. Sort of wild.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. That's good. I'm on a ride. order? Yeah, why don't you start with Tuesday and the list of importance. That's good. I'm on a ride. Number four on the list of the top six workday productivity trends, trademark Vaughan Smith 2002, pick and choose Tuesdays. Okay. This is where you only do what you want on Tuesday. Okay, right. And then put off the other stuff

to wing it Wednesday. And then to be honest, it's probably not getting done then either. Because you're winging it on Wednesday. You're ad-libbing, right. And then put off the other stuff to wing it Wednesday. And then, to be honest, it's probably not getting done then either. Because you're winging it on Tuesday. You're winging it on Wednesday. You're ad-libbing, baby. Yeah, that's what your work colleagues are for, picking up your slack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called delegating.

Yeah, a bit of general delegation. Yeah. Force that out to the sides. Number three on the list of the top six workday productivity trends, trademark Vaughan Smith 2002, threatening Thursday. Oh, okay. You become threatening to people who are insistent that you do your job. Wow, aggressive.

You're doing your job? Wow, okay. That sort of thing. Wow. Give me a break. It's Thursday. I've been working my ass off all week. You haven't, though.

You haven't, though, because you've had wing it Wednesday. I know, but I'm threatening you with it. All right. Number two on the list of the Top six workday Productivity trends Trademark Slothy Saturdays Yeah Oh yeah nice

Just chill Do what a sloth would do Yeah And if you're thinking Should I be working harder Would a sloth work harder Not on a Saturday You wouldn't

Not on a Saturday No Certainly not on a Saturday No And even if he needed To go down from the tree Onto the ground For a poopy

Which sloths famously do. Do they not poop from the branch? No, then they go down for a poopy. Oh. They go down to the ground. Who could be bothered? But they don't poop very often. Oh, okay.

So that's the thing. If it happened to be on a Saturday, he'd probably just put it off. Because that sloth's database. Until Monday. And number one on the list of the top six weekday productivity trends, trademark Vaughan Smith 2002, F this Friday. You're good, yeah. Because it's Friday.

It's Friday. It's Friday. Put it off. Put it off. So where are you getting the bulk of your work done in this week? To be honest, I don't know. Okay. I don't know.

Yeah. It gets done. Yeah. Who knows? Here I am. Yeah, he's here. 21 years later, gainfully employed. Yeah.

I don't know. I'm not asking. In fact, even asking these questions makes me uncomfortable. Sounds like somebody's riding on their looks. Don't rock the boat. Doesn't it? Yeah, someone's using his hot bod. Hot bod.

As an excuse not to put in any real work. Hot bod, pert dumper, cute face. I just want to slap it. Charming smile. There he is. That's all you need. And a whole pert dumper, cute face. I just want to slap it. Charming smile. There he is. That's all you need. And a whole lot of white privilege.

Yes. Oh my God. Stacks of white privilege. And a sprinkle of male privilege. And a sprinkle of all my privileges. I don't take them for granted.

Yes I do. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. Do you guys Vodden Ailey Play ZM Do you guys listen to true crime podcasts? I have I listen to Serial

That was my first big intro to podcasts I think You'd listen to a season maybe No I don't listen to the ones that are like an hour and a half long and each one's a different moida I don't need that much moida I've sort of pulled back and gone more for a lighter start to the day

but definitely I've consumed so much true crime. I got into it in such a big way. All the hot sort of seasoned ones like Teacher's Pet and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I listened to that one too. That was good. And then I listened to Case File.

Was it My Favourite Murder? Is that a podcast as well? Yeah, I don't listen to that because that's so weird. My Favourite Murder. Oh, my God, I love that murder too. Oh, my God, that murder's my favourite. And wasn't there a little bit of a thing when it really picked up esteem, a bit of esteem, My Favourite Murder, people were like,

oh, that was my mum who got murdered. It wasn't cool hearing you say it was like your favourite murder of the week. Yeah. It was a little inappropriate. It was like only a few years ago. Yeah, for sure. Well, a lot of people that listen to true crime believe that it actually helps them in real life. But it's a bit weird to me.

So 76% of people that they surveyed who listen to true crime podcasts said that they feel that who listen to true crime podcasts said that they feel that consuming content about true crime helps them avoid being in a similar situation or a situation like that happening to them. Right. Are we all just walking around thinking, are we going to get murdered?

Yeah. Yeah. Literally, it has never crossed my mind that someone would murder me. Privilege. What, because you're too likable? I'm too fun. I'm too open and kind.

Well, that's exactly how people get murdered. You're going to invite me in. No, no, no, not like that. Hayley, there's someone at the door. Hello? Hi. Oh, my car's broken down. Oh, my God, that's awful.

Oh, my God, come inside. Yes. Ow! Yeah, exactly. Got you. My kindness killed me with kindness. Oh my God, come inside. Stop. Ow. Yeah, exactly. Got you. My kindness killed me with kindness. You were killed by kindness. I was.

Also, 71% of listeners said that they feel less trusting of other people due to how much true crime content they consume. So maybe they would walk down the street and be like, is it him? Is he going to murder me? Oh my God, that guy's going to murder me. That's just a father of two walking to the dairy. Going to work, yeah, exactly. Going to work, yeah.

Going to work, exactly. Speaking of true crime, have you guys been following this Madeleine McCann situation? Yes. I don't mean the actual story of Madeleine McCann. This woman. There's a woman who is claiming to be Madeleine McCann. Now obviously Madeleine McCann, when did she go missing?

2004. Four. She, and was never found, right? Never found. And there's a suspect, but they have never had enough to... Pin it on him. Pin it on him. And he won't admit, the guy they've arrested won't admit to it.

Won't admit to it. And they just are slightly short on enough information to, like, charge him with the murder of this young girl who went missing. And now this has just popped up and it's gone it's all around the world. This woman claiming that she thinks she is Madeleine McCartney.

She goes look, she looks so much like her. To be fair like she looks like what that kid would have grown up to look like. Right. Does she have parents? 2007 Madelein McCartney. Yeah, yeah, 2007 at the age of three. So she was born in 2004. Yes.

Right, yeah. Okay. So this woman would be 19 years old or thereabouts. Now, this woman believes she's 21 years old, but she thinks that that could be wrong. She has no recollection of her childhood. So who are her parents? I don't know.

I'm trying to figure that out. Are her parents like, what? Her actual parents who raised her are like, no. And everyone's like, you stole Madeleine McCann. They're like, no. She's just being a bitch. She's just angry with us because we wouldn't

let her go to Italy on holiday. Now she's packing her poo with us. So she lives in Poland and was like, I just feel like I would have just been taken here. And she looked at a photo of Madeline McCann and

lots of information came out about Madeline because she was missing, right? And then she's like, I have the same. Madeline McCann had this fleck on her eye that was quite noticeable and this girl has the exact same one on her eye and there was a freckle on Mel and McCann's leg

and she's got the same freckle and she's like, this is, like I don't remember my childhood. I don't know these people. In a world of seven, eight now billion people, there's likely to be somebody

who looks a bit like you. Yeah. I know. But wild that she's, this is all just playing out in real time on the internet. And then so Madeleine McCann's parents are like, well, let's get a DNA test. Yeah, because like so many people got behind it being like,

come on, like give it to her. Let's see at least. And her parents were like, yeah, fine. Mostly to be like, you're not my daughter. God, those parents have been through hell and back, hey? And then, like, this stuff gets... Because you remember that, was it in New Zealand? They were...

People kept thinking they saw Madeleine McCann. Do you remember that? In New Zealand. It was a... Wasn't there, like, some sighting here ages ago? And then that gets dragged up and the parents have to go through that. Oh, I know. There was a sighting of Madeleine McCann in New Zealand.

Yeah, it's like the Canterbury Panther. There's so many sightings. Also, I say this with respect to Madeleine McCann. She is like a white, blonde, cute kid. There's so many of those. So many white, blonde, cute kids around. You know what I mean?

She looks like a child I would have grown up with. Anyway, so now this woman, how did we get here? True crime. Now this woman is claiming that she's in conversations with Madeline's parents. They're going to do this DNA test anytime soon. Probably just to put it to bed. Stuff story from, oh, it doesn't have a year.

Oh, no, 2010. A second New Zealand link has been revealed in the mystery disappearance of British four-year-old Madeleine McCann, a security guard at the warehouse in Dunedin. No! The warehouse in Dunedin. Called police after speaking with a small girl with a British accent who looked remarkably similar to

Madeleine McCann just seven months after she disappeared. And then that footage was passed on to investigators. Shut up. And I that footage was passed on to investigators. Shut up. And I'm sure there was something else as well. Shut your face. I'm sure there was something else as well.

But I mean, this is just... Oh my God, poor Marilyn McCann goes missing in the UK. She ends up in a warehouse in Dunedin. But this is what the parents have been through for the last forever. Like, any time anyone sees a small blonde girl... Exactly. They're like, call the police.

I know. I mean, you know, I mean... We were all small blonde girls. Yeah, it's like, call the police. I know. I mean, you know, it's good that people are looking. We were all small blonde girls. Yeah, it's good that people are looking for it. Fletch was a small blonde girl.

I was a small blonde. Aaron was a small blonde girl. Could have gone either way. I've seen a picture of you a slightly longer do. You could have been. I could have been. Somebody probably said

to your mother at some stage what a cute little girl. Wow. Apparently she heard her grandma talking about something suspicious and she was like, huh? About her parents and where she came from. Oh, definitely.

I'm invested in this. I just want the DNA results now. That'll put it all together. Millions of people are watching. Sounds like someone just wanted a free Ancestry.com membership to me. Vaughn, that's a long way to go for a free DNA membership. They'll give me the DNA and then I can put it

into the thing and I'll find out if I've got any, you know, famous relatives. And am I fully Polish or am I, you know, a little touch Mediterranean? Yeah.

Who knows? Lawrence Watkins is a New Zealander and I didn't know this. This is news. This has just been shared. Lad Bible and I didn't know this. This is news. This has just been shared. Ladbible, I don't know how they stumbled across this. This happened in 1990.

Wow. Lawrence Watkins is a New Zealander with the longest name. He's got 2,310 Christian names. So it's not one long name. Right. Oh, get a Christian names So it's not one long name Right His name is made up of 2310 Christian names I mean, if you want a world record that badly Just learn to hold your breath

Yeah, exactly This is way easier Platform This is way easier than learning to hold your breath People are holding their breath Been doing it for years It'll take you forever Did he choose them?

Or were they given to him by his parents? No, he said, I chose 2,310 Christian names because each have a significant meaning to me. Oh, get a grip. Bullshit. I don't have that many significant things. Because he's got like, so I just, where I'm at at the moment, he's got Wilf, Wilfroy, Wilham, Wilkins, Will, William,

Willabald, Willabard, Willahold, Wilmot. Wait, is it alphabetical? Not really. Kind of alphabetical and then goes back to the start and adds a whole lot more from the next. Right. Oh, gosh. I found our names in there.

Right. But not Hayley's. He doesn't have Hayley. He's got Vaughan and Carl. Yeah, he does. I'm upset by that. But it's like, how do all of these names have significant meaning to you? Oh, no, they obviously don't.

Socrates. Maybe you're a big fan of him. Sigfried, yeah, maybe you're a big fan of his work. So he was given a name at birth and then changed his name via deed poll. Yeah, his name was Lawrence Watkins. Simple. Right. What was his original name?

Gregory. Gregory. Lawrence Gregory Watkins. And so this is doing the his original name? Gregory. Gregory. Lawrence Gregory Watkins. And so this is doing the rounds, what, because someone dug it out of the record book? Must have. It's a Guinness World Record. It's a Guinness World Record. How has anyone not just copy and pasted all of his names?

I know. Does somebody want to ruin this guy's day? Yeah. And like just add five more names. Yeah. And then you've got a Guinness World Record. Yeah. Just keep going like that, back and forth.

So you'd still use your name now. You're just adding... These are all middle names. Heaps of middle names. Oh, my God. This is a sitter. On what document is this? Because it won't be on your passport.

It won't fit. Won't be on your birth certificate. So you'd still be able to use your... This is a world record you could finally have. Yeah. Give yourself 2,500 middle names. I could still be Hayley Jane Sproul by document. Yes.

But is there an official document that has them all? He's got scans of every page that he submitted in 1990, 8th of March 1990. Six pages? Six pages of hand-typed names. That's ridiculous. Have you ever seen a deed poll? I definitely have changed since

1990. No, I haven't. But it says, by this deed, which is intended to be deposited in the offices of the Register General at Lower Hutt, New Zealand, I see attached documents for Christian names. See attached? What's your name? See attached documents for Christian names. See attached. What's your name?

See attached. See attached. The six pages. I was born on, he's blanked that out, in Auckland. Now lately known as Lawrence Gregory Watkins, do hereby absolutely renounce and abandon the use of my former name,

Lawrence Gregory Watkins. Now he's not technically abandoned and absolutely renounced it because those names are still in his big name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just his middle names are changed. Is Watkins still the last one? Yes. And the first one's still Lawrence. And he's had it. I say we take him to court. Sounds like a fun pro bono

case to me, team. Yeah. Why don't you just change your middle names and get the Guinness World Record? You've always wanted one. So I may henceforth be known and referred to not by my former name but my assumed name and for the purpose of evidencing and such change I hereby declare that I shall at all times henceforth

in all actions of proceedings, dealings and transactions upon all occasions use and subscribe the name assumed by this deed and I hereby expressly authorise or request all persons at all times henceforth to designate and address me by my assumed full name of C-Attached Documents accordingly. You sound like Willy Wonka. When I'm reading the Willy Wonka Agreement. Wow.

So his name is Lawrence Alon Aloys Elios, Althege Alun Alud, Allen Alessandre, Amber Ambrose, Ambrosius Amosa Amiot, Amias. Ambrosia. Anders Andre, Andrea. We don't have time for the whole name. Andrew Andy. Well, it's his whole name and he wants to be addressed by it. I figure we give him the whole. He's got Andrea in there, but he doesn't have Hayley.

Andrea, yeah. This is BS. So rude. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We all watched the Super Bowl halftime. I finally watched the full clip. Because, you know, it takes a while to go up on YouTube if you don't want to pay for it.

Yep. In the moment. Yep. So I watched it. Very good. Apple didn't Apple Music pay $160 million for the naming rights of that? Wow.

Wow. That's some phenomenal amount of money. So good. Paris Scoble. Can I just say, the choreography, it's so cool. She's so cool. I wish I was cool like Paris Scoble. Is her Facebook still hacked?

Oh my God, her Facebook was one of my favourite things of 2020. Her Facebook got hacked and it was sharing really weird stuff and she didn't seem to care. People commenting like, hey Paris. Hey Paris, your Facebook's been hacked. And I was like, these men are building a pool in the middle of the jungle. Watch these men. No, I don't think it is still hacked.

Bugger, it was so good. Man, she shared some rubbish. Anyway, so Rihanna did the halftime show and obviously it opened. Close it with her, zoom out, belly, rub the belly. I'm prego. Everyone was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The camera zoomed out so quickly

and then the whole thing just went away and everyone was like, oh my God, is this true? And then immediately after, her reps confirmed that she was pregnant. Now we all learnt this at the same time as her father did because he did not... She didn't give Daddy-O the heads up.

She didn't give Daddy-O the heads up that she was preggo. Are they tight or estranged? No, slightly estranged. Right. Meghan Markle level estranged? Lawsuits. Lawsuits level estranged. Was he involved?

Was he her manager? When the accountant took the money. Took all the money? Is that what happened there? Yeah. Right, I later accused... She... Oh, yeah.

He's a bit of a... He was a bit of a rough dad in terms of he liked the druggers. Right, okay. And the boozers. And then she had a rocky relationship with him and then she later accused her father of misusing her name

to benefit his own entertainment company. Oh, right. So he was sort of cashing in. I'll get Rihanna to perform at your bar. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, my daughter's Rihanna. And she's like, absolutely not, Dad. Stop it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he didn't know. He was basically the last to know. If you're a little, I mean, not totally estranged by the sound of things, you'd still think she would have given him the heads up, right? Maybe not. No, maybe not.

I don't think so. Wild. Yeah, I know. So I wanted to know, maybe take some calls and some messages, if you've been the last to know something. Maybe like your best friend got married and then you didn't know. Or like mum marries her new boyfriend and then tells you later. Yeah.

Because they just eloped and did it while they were in Raro. Mama. What a bitch. Mama. Yeah. Or like people do this all the time. They'll elope and get married. And families have no idea and they get really upset about it.

Or you like message your parents being like, hey, I'm coming over for dinner. They're like, oh no, we've moved. We live in Tauranga now. Sorry? How often are people talking with their parents? Yeah, I know, exactly. Not often enough.

Well, we want to take your calls. 0800-DIALS-IT-M. You can text as well, 9696. When were you the last to know? Anything. Anything? What about celebrity deaths? You know when a celebrity dies?

I always forget that they're dead until it's like, oh, they're dead. And I'm like, what? When did that happen? Or a celebrity's been dead for like five years and you're like, oh, yeah, I love them. I'd love to see them in concert. They died in 2004. Yeah. What?

I loved Amy Winehouse. I'll wait until it dies at the end. Give us a call. She's gone. Where? Yeah at him. Give us a call. She's gone. Where? Yeah, she's been gone a while. You knew that because you cried at the documentary on the plane. I watched the documentary on the plane.

It was a lot. It was a lot to watch. It was a lot to watch. It was a lot to watch. Right now, talking about Rihanna's halftime show and the fact that her dad found out with the rest of us, you found out the same time as he did that she was pregnant. Yeah, he was like, oh, only granddaddy again.

Cool. But they're estranged. Well, they're not estranged. They just don't have a great relationship. No. I wonder if he'd send pictures of the baby, the one she had last year. I'm sure he's visited the baby.

What's her baby's name? Baby. Baby. Baby. What's Rihanna's last name? Rocky. What is her real's name? Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. It's called baby. What's Rihanna's last name? Rocky. Rihanna's her middle name. What is her real name?

Fenty. Fenty. Robin Rihanna Fenty. Yeah. That's her name. That's cool. Rihanna's the middle name. Yeah.

You're right, Bourne. You're right. I thought I mentioned if my artist's name was Jane. G'day, Jane. Jane Rihanna. Please welcome to the stage. Jones. Jane. Jane Rihanna. Please welcome to the stage... Jones. Jane!

It wouldn't work. 35, so she just turned 35 yesterday, same day as you. 1.4 billion net worth, standing at 1.73 metres tall. Oh, I'm a little bit taller, same birthday, same net worth. You are basically Rihanna. We are. You're the people's Rihanna. You are our Rihanna. Thank you. You are the people's Rihanna. You are our Rihanna.

Thank you. You are. Yeah. So we want to know from you this morning. And my own name is also Robin Vaughn Fenty. Yes. Yeah. People don't know that.

They do now. We're also wearing Vaughn's knickers. I'm wearing his knickers. Oh my God. My lingerie brand is Savage. Yeah. It's all the corsety stuff for me and it's a bit full on. I can feel it on me.

As you well should. Yeah. That's me. You it's a bit full on. I can feel it on my own. As you well should. Yeah. You paid enough for it, you might as well feel it. So we want to know when you were the last to find out something. And we are getting some amazing stories through. Let's start with Amelia. Amelia, what were you the last to find out? So I'm 25.

Yep. And my younger sister's a good four years younger than me. About three years ago, my family decided to tell me that after they had my sister, my dad got the snip. Oh. Is that the sort of thing a father regularly shares with his children? Yeah, I'm assuming my dad got snipped. Everyone else did, apart from me. Oh, were you hoping for a little baby sister?

I mean, it would have been me. Oh, right. Were you hoping for a little baby sister? I mean... You had one. It would have been one. Yeah, right. It is a weird thing, yes. You're upset that your family didn't tell you as a child that your father had a vasectomy? No, I'm upset that they didn't tell me

before they told my younger sister. Oh, so this is that older sibling thing where you think you're older so you need to be told everything first. See, I don't even think anyone should know that. Nah. I wouldn't share that. I wouldn't imagine you'd share that with your kids at all. I think once I was an adult

maybe I overheard a reference to my dad's snippdy-dippdy. I know my dad got his vasectomy because he was sitting on the couch, which was weird for him. Yeah. He's not a big sitter. And I walked in and I threw the cat to him. Like, lobbed the cat. And I walked in and I threw the cat to him. Like, lobbed the cat. And he swiped

it out of the air because it was going to land on his lap. And he didn't want to get a rogue paw in the scrotum. So he went whack and the cat was like straight onto the couch next to him. When are you getting yours? Because you're scared, eh? I'm very scared. Don't be scared.

It doesn't hurt. They don't just snip in there. I'm scared. They snip in there. Are you worried that my mate that had it done said it smelled real weird? Yeah, it's your balls. Oh, because you're still awake, eh? Yeah, it's local. Yeah, that's weird.

Are you worried that they'll see your penis? I want those yum yum drugs I had the time I had the colonoscopy. Oh my God, how yum, eh? Was it propofol? Was that what I had? Yeah. Well, there you go. That's a reason to go and get it done.

Yeah. Are they going to give that to me? I'm sure you could ask for it. I was going to go full shave. Full shave. No, it's too rude. It's too rude. Razor shave the balls.

No, it's too rude. What part of the sack do they go in? Between the balls and the seam. Do they go in the sack? Yeah. That's where the balls are. Yeah, but I didn't know where they snuck. Where did you think they were going in? I've got no idea what happened. Did they go in the sack? Yeah. That's where the balls are. Yeah, but I didn't know where they snipped. Where did you think they were going in?

I've got no idea what happened. Did they go down the penis? Oh, my God. No, I knew they were going to go down the penis. Where is the incision? I don't know. It's on the seam. On the seam of the sack?

Yes, so you can't see it. Because there's already the mark. There's already the line there. Yeah. Right. Get in there. It's minute. So they're going.

You've got to get this done. They're not slicing your whole balls open. You can talk about there. It's minute. So they're going, you've got to get this done. They're not slicing your whole balls open. You can talk about this. It's fantastic. I ain't going to do, um. But you do have to have a full shave. Full shave. It's on the balls.

Shave the balls. It's too horny. You can't go in for a medical procedure with a full shave. But they could shave you anyway, wouldn't they? No, not the whole thing. Not your whole pubis. Yeah, but I can't have a bald patch on my balls. Leave a bald patch.

I'm not leaving a bald patch there. I'm going all or nothing. Oh, I don't know. It's too much. I get the whole thing done. You're right, though, because it's not a sexy, you're not going in for a sexy procedure. A sexy procedure, no.

But then you also don't want them getting out the clippers. I don't want to be, that's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Oh, Mr. Smith, you were supposed to have shaved. They snip you, they clip you before they give you the local. They probably give you the local before they give you the... We're talking about vasectomies or we've been derailed. Yeah, so messages in.

When were you the last to find out? My cousin dropped her kids off at her mum's to babysit and then went and got married. They didn't say anything. When they picked up the kids, the family found out. Or when they picked up the kids, the family found out what she updated her Facebook status. I love that.

She's just like, I don't want any drama as a family. We're just doing that. I married my husband without telling my father or anyone on my father's side of the family. Oh, on his side of the family. So that might mean her now husband's side of the family. Were they quite conservative maybe? Oh, I don't know.

Don't know the story here. I was the last one to find out that my older sister bought a house. No one told me. For ages later. Oh. Maybe they didn't want to rub it in your face.

I was the last one to find out when my dumb knuckle boyfriend was cheating. Oh, yeah, that happens. I lost 100 kgs that day of his dead weight that I've been drinking. I was like, okay, what diet is this? Have you got a parasite? I was the last to find out my parents were divorced when all of our family and friends knew but me.

No, you should be told first. Kids, right? Don't just drop it on them. I was the last one to find out who the F Bob Ross was. Oh my God, how do you not know?

My adult kids knew about him. I'd never heard of him or heard his name. So he, is there a movie coming out with Owen Wilson plays Bob Ross who was a military man

in World War II. Big hairdo. And big afro. And then after the war, did painting. Relaxing, relaxing painting. But died ages ago. In the 90s. Yeah, but his videos got popular online of how relaxing he is to watch paint.

I love Bob Ross so much. He's so relaxing. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So, I love Bob Ross so much. He's so relaxing. Silly Little Pole, we asked today which spoon is better. This is quite a visual one. It started off a debate of we liked dessert spoons or soup spoons better. Now dessert spoons aren't as fat as a soup spoon. A soup spoon's a big, fatty, circular spoon. And there's slightly more depth to it too.

A bit more depth. Sort of a ladle-y vibe. This will be controversial, but if I have a stir fry and I put it in a big bowl, so there's rice and veggies and chunks of meat, I love eating that with a soup spoon. A soup spoon? Yeah, controversial. Because you get the rice in. You get a bit of rice and there's more chunks of meat. Yeah. I love eating that with a soup spoon. A soup spoon? Yeah, controversial. A dessert spoon.

Because you get the rice in. You get a bit of rice, and there's more in the spoon. Yeah, I don't even have soup spoons. I've only got dessert spoons and teaspoons. Yeah, the dessert spoon is the superior spoon. So the phono we use were either, I guess, how would you describe it? An egg-shaped spoon. Egg-shaped with a tip?

With a tip or no tip. Or circular, like more of a mellow path. More of a circular, deeper spoon with also, but you know what? People commenting on the handles too when it comes to using a spoon. Now the spoons in this silly little pile, I can tell you I've used both of these spoons. Yep.

And from usage, the left is my preferred spoon, which is the... But if I was just to look at them, I'd probably go, oh, the right seems like the better teaspoon. Which is the pointy teaspoon, isn't it? Is that right? It's the more soup-spoon-y of the spoons. Rounded, deeper, shinier, rounded handle.

What did the people say? 51% of people said the spoon on the left. Which is? Which is the spoon I mentioned, but I prefer, having used both, a slightly more soupy spoon. Right. Slightly more.

Not full soup spoon. But we don't have a real good range of spoons here at work. Those are teaspoons, right? Yes. Yeah. And then 49% people struggling to pick the difference between these two spoons. Brianna said, left handle is too skinny,

right gives you a decent surface area to hold on to, also good for getting into the corners of containers. I feel like the handles just comes down to brand. We shouldn't have done the handles. Yeah. Maybe we should have blacked out the handles. Heads not handles. The handle on the right is questionable,

but the round on one is despicable, and I cannot support it. It's spoon two all the way. Okay, so the question wasn't the actual, the literal spoons we were showing. It's the type of spoon. You can see the spoons on our Instagram, F-E-H-Z-M. Laura says, right spoon looks flimsy as shit.

Okay, so again, that's a handle-based observation. Left spoon, says Katie, because it's smoother to hold on the fingers. Okay, people are just picking between the two spoons that we've given. Why is this such a hard question, says Georgia. I don't know, Georgia, but it is. Life does occasionally throw you a curveball. Marie says, I want the thickness of the left and the roundness of the right. Neither of these spoons are adequate.

Now, I can't help but feel like as a team, we have not been clear enough with our graphic here. That people are really focused on the handle. I've got exactly the same spoons, handle-wise, at home with different heads. Oh, well, you should have taken the photo for the poll. I should have. Should we redo the poll tomorrow? Let's redo the spoon poll.

We need to get to the bottom of it by Friday. It's like when the optometrist goes one or two. One or two. I know, and you're like... Three or four. Three or four. It's the same test with different numbers. We can do the same test tomorrow with different spoons.

Yeah. Which of these spoons would you prefer? But then we're also going to have to say for multi-purpose use. Yeah. Because a soup spoon is better for soup

but a dessert spoon is better for everything else. Yeah. Maybe we just let it rest after this. Holly says, much nicer shape on the right. The left one is too

symmetrically oval and the handle is too skinny. Sophie says, obviously the right one. Look at that beautifully shaped tip. Right. Yes. Now the photo that we used on our Instagram page is the photo that's gone viral.

Yeah, hot debate over these particular spoons. Hot debate over these particular spoons worldwide. Wait. And you can see why. Of these spoons? Yeah. These are from our kitchen. No, they're not.

No, they're not. That's from the internet, hon. No way. You 100%. We've got those spoons? Yeah. These are from our kitchen. No, they're not. No, they're not. That's from the internet, hon. No way. You're 100%. We've got those spoons at work. I know. Everyone has those spoons. Everyone in the world has these spoons.

I've never seen these spoons anywhere else other than work. No, I've seen them my entire life. That's why there's debate over which is the better spoon. Those are the two exact spoons we've got here at work. Oh, my God. How do we manage to have both of those spoons? Okay, I need you to stop being racist. Not all spoons look the same.

Can you get your spoon out of your bowl, please, even though it's hucky? What spoon have you got this morning? He's got the flatter one with the tip. I don't have that spoon. Yeah, I've got the flatter one with the tip. The best spoon. The best spoon. That's the only way.

It blows my mind that those aren't... We didn't take that photo here. Yeah, I know. Because we've got those exact spoons. I know we do. We know. That's from the internet. So it is more about the handle then.

If this is what the internet is debating. I'm happy to rest this here and just say, pick a spoon that you like. Oh, sorry, Switzerland. Yeah. Get a point of view Do you know what I mean Get an opinion Hide all that Nazi gold

Yeah Oh we're not really on their side Neutral my ass No I'm giving weapons to Ukraine You're a flat spooner And you know it I think they are aren't they I don't know what you're doing up there

I know you're ready to blow the bridges And isolate yourself. You've got some fake mountain tops. Yeah. Yeah, with hiding missiles, that's for sure. Watch out. If you could choose five things to put on your dating profile, what would it be?

Like, what words would you use to describe yourself? Like, key words. Yeah, key words. I'm not very good at this. Daddy. So you're going daddy? You are a daddy, though. Both in the literal and sexy sense.

So you're going daddy? Chainsaws. Chainsaws. Steak. Steak. Whiskey. Whiskey. Tractor.

Tractor. I'm swiping immediately because you said tractor. Okay. I'm going. I've got to get a little tractor. I'm going marching. I feel like lately I've been quiet on the little tractor and people maybe think that there's something wrong.

The hunt is on. There's a Lamborghini one on Trade Me at the moment. Oh, don't. There's a Lamborghini tractor on Trade Me. I'm a Lamborghini tractor. I'm never going to own a Lamborghini. I might as well own a Lamborghini one on Trade Me at the moment. Oh, don't. There's a Lamborghini tractor on Trade Me. Don't drive a fricking Lamborghini tractor. I'm never going to own a Lamborghini. I might as well own a Lamborghini tractor. Is it just some old hucky tractor they've put a Lamborghini badge on?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because that's what Lamborghini did before they made the luxury cars. They made tractors. Jeremy Clarkson's got a Lamborghini on there. How embarrassing. Well, there's been a study done and they've found five keywords that men and five keywords that women should put in their profile. And it gets people swiping.

Yeah. These keywords. I'm going to give you the one for men. Starting from number five. Yeah. Coffee. Signalling that you're into coffee. Okay.

All right. Would that make you swipe on a guy? No, because I don't drink coffee. So I'd be like, we don't have anything in common. Yeah, but we drink coffee and you, like us. Don't assume to know what I feel. Oh, that was very assumption of you.

Number four, wine. I'm back. You're back. You're back. I guess the cliche of women drink wine, men drink beer. Yeah. You want to show a noma Chenin Blancs from a Chardonnay's. Yeah.

Wine. Okay, so that's got you. I'm back in. Yeah. Number three, dog. I'm gone again. Now, I love a dog, but they can't be bringing their dog over to my house. Because you've got a cat.

You've got a cat. There's no future. Yeah, okay. My cat's not making room for some man's dog. Yeah. Absolutely not. He could put it down though, right, before he moves in? He'll have to.

Yeah. I'd demand it. Cats are cheaper to put down than dogs. It's not about the cost. Yeah. It's that my cat will not make space. Would a tiny dog be the same as a fat cat? Because my cat probably would need extra.

Tiny dogs are yappy. Yeah. Okay. Can't have it. Number two for men. Top five things to put on your profile. Travel. Yeah.

That's got you. That's got me. I'm back again. Yeah, you're back again. I'm hot. I'm cold. Yeah. I'm yes and I'm no.

And the last one they say is you've got to put non-smoker. Even if you love a secret durry on a Saturday. Like you do. Just a little minty menthol. Yeah. On a wild Saturday night. Okay, so what should women be putting on their profile to hook in the men? Okay, women.

Number five, carnivore. Women should put carnivore. But that's only me. That's exclusively me. You want omnivore. No, but is it saying to a man, I'm down for a barbie. Yeah. I'm down for a steakhouse steak.

I love meat of all varieties. But carnivore is exclusively meat. Yeah, but this is what the study. I want an omnivore. This is what the study's found works. Imagine the farts of a full carnie. Yeah. Oh, wait.

Yeah, exactly. Well, they're saying, when they say carnivore, when they're describing it, they're saying meat eaters, so I think they've just misused that. Yeah, that's dumb. So immediately I'm thinking they're thick. I think they're dumb. I think they're misusing, yeah, they're misusing terms.

Okay, number four. That's like calling yourself herbivore because you had a Caesar salad. Yeah, exactly. Well, you like basil and rosemary. Yeah, wrong. I'm a herbivore. I love herbs. Number four, gym rat.

Okay. You've got to prove that you know how to work out. I'm jacked and rat. Fat, you're getting douchebags. Yeah, but I'm not. Like, if I had a dating profile, number one would be the dumper. Right, okay. Number one.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Number three of the key words that women should mention in their dating profile, pub. Now I'm back. I'm in. You're back. You're back now. You got me back. I've got a passion for pubs.

That's what I'd say. Yeah. Number two, sports. Mention you love a sport. Marching girl. That would be my second profile. Yeah, but maybe don't mention, in your case, what sport. No, no.

I'll say sportswoman. Yeah, and then when they're like, yeah, we can watch rugby together. You'd be like. Oh my God, let's watch the Edinburgh military tattoo. That would be actually cool because of the bagpipes. Okay. And the Edinburgh military tattoo. That would be actually cool because of the bagpipes. Okay, and the marching. Right. And number one on the top five words women should mention in their dating profile.

Beer. Oh God, this is so... No, why are you doing that? This is, that's not... Oh, beer, gym, meat and sport. That's what you look for in a bloody mate. Men just want their ladies to be their lads. But they don't.

Could you put gin and tonic down instead of beer? Yeah, yeah. You could put gin and tonic. Okay, great, yeah. Light gin. Love a gin tea. No, no, no, light tonic. Light tonic.

Prosecco. Soda and tonic. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of sugar in tonic. Yeah, you're not wrong. That's what I meant, sorry. Yeah, there is. So there you go. Good luck to you out there in the wild world of dating.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hey-ho. It's my birthday. It was my birthday yesterday. It's not still your birthday. You can't claim it for longer than 24 hours. Stop going on about it. We got you a cake.

What more do you want? We said happy birthday. It's done. Move on. We'll see you next year. Yeah. Oh, for God's sake. Go outside.

Cool off. You're showing off. Are you hungry? What do you want? What do you need? I could eat. I've been out two nights in a row at other people's expense. Oh, good.

I know, great stuff. I always order way more when somebody else is paying. Now, I understand that's not everybody's thing. Because if other people are paying, sometimes people hold back. Oh, no, I don't want to cost them. I don't. Yeah, I do that more. I'm more of an apologetic.

Oh, my God, no, I simply wouldn't also order. Well, if we're all getting chips. I've wanted to try. I have wanted to try the ribs. But, Vaughn, you're getting a steak. Again, pardon me. I don't see a problem here. I've wanted to try the ribs. But Vaughn, you're getting a steak. Again, pardon me, I don't see a problem here. I've wanted to try the ribs. What is your question for us?

Do you order more when somebody else is paying? Absolutely. Like if it's a work thing. Oh, if it's a work thing. I get silly. Then you're not paying. You go crazy. The key is if you ever are in the if you're ever thinking, I'm going

to pay for the meal tonight. Like maybe you're taking your partner out or a friend or a date or whatever or family and you decide you're going to pay. You don't tell anyone before the dinner. They think that's paying. Oh, I do a surprise pay. They think they're, because when people are under the assumption they're paying, they don't go crazy.

Well, they won't go as crazy. And then at the end of the night, if they haven't gone crazy, you're like, I'll get this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. That's good from you, actually. That's a smart tip, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, no, because if I know that someone's taking me out for dinner... You'll get a filet-o-fish and a quarter pounder, won't you? No, no, I'd pull back. I'd pull back.

Oh, really? If someone's taking you out, you'd pull back. Yeah, but if I'm paying, ain't nobody going to stop me. It's myself with my own money. Right. You can't tell me what to do with it. Well, that blows Fletcher's theory out of the water. Yeah, I know. Because he would not tell you he was paying. But if you know in your head, I'm going to do this.

I'm going to shop lunch today. Yeah. You're pulling back so that you're not going to spend too much. Personally, I would be. Maybe. No, because personally, I'm leaning in because I know it's like my money, my time, my guts. But I'm also going to wait until the end of dinner or lunch to see what's been ordered before I go through with. Oh, so you're saying you're only going to do it yourself, but only if it's within budget.

Yes, yes. So if we're all out together, you're only paying if we've been restrained. And then you'll be like, this is a good meal for me to get and now it looks like I've paid for the same amount as when I'm born paid. I'm going to be, next time we do this, I'm going to be restrained and when you go to the bathroom, I'm going to say to the waitress, more takeaway. Keep it at the back till we leave. Yeah.

And then Fletch goes up, he's like, I've got today. He pays. And then she's like, oh, and here's all your friends' takeaways. He's a takeaway. No, no, no. Because they print out the bill and you check the bill. I don't check the bill. Before you pay, you're like, oh, and here's all your friends' takeaways. Here's your takeaways. No, no, no, because they print out the bill and you check the bill. I don't check the bill. Before you pay, you're like, oh, I'll come up and pay. Oh, yeah, here's the bill. Oh, actually, I'm not going to.

Everybody's going to come up and pay. You can't do that. Oh, my God. Yeah, I've paid for my third. Guys, you know how I just snuck off? I just paid for my portion. So you might want to pop up to the counter and pay for yours as well. But 100% when it's someone else, you pay more.

You buy more. Someone said, I hate when someone tells me they're paying because I don't feel like an order by the glass of Bollinger. Bollinger. Bollinger. By the glass. What are they, you're downgrading to a Prosecco if somebody else is paying? 100%.

Who's taking their rich mates out though and paying? These people have a higher taste. Like this is me selecting the wine. Cheapest, no, second cheapest. Second cheapest, which is actually the cheapest. Which is the cheapest. They make the second cheapest because that's the one people pay for to not look cheap, but they make the biggest price margins on it.

This is why I go out for dinners with Hayley because she eats Filet-O-Fishers. Yeah. That's all I want in a cheap glass of bubbles. She's a cheap date. I am a cheap date. I know one car park where you get both of those things. Do you? Mm.

The after show sort of isn't it? That's the weirdest part about the Daily. Play ZM. That's the weirdest part about that song. I also used to ride in a rinky-dink. Did you, Shanayna? I did. I traded in my rinky-dink. Wow.

It was a minimum $3,000 trade-in. Right. And you changed your name from Shanayna to Vaughan, just to Vaughan. But I mean, didn't we all, metaphorically speaking, used to ride in a rinky-dink? Oh, absolutely, we did. Some of us still do. Are you pointing at me? It's my car. No, your to ride in a rinky-dink? Oh, absolutely, we did. Well, some of us still do. Are you pointing at me?

It's my car. No, your car's not a rinky-dink. Have you smelled it? It smells. Dude, it stinks at the moment. It's a stinky-dink. It's a stinky-dink. Why is it a stinky-dink?

I think that because we've been working on the house and Aaron's been sort of using it, I think we're sweating into it. Halele is riding in a stinky-dink. I'm riding in a stinky-dink, man. It stinks. Halele. sweating into it. Halele is riding in a stinky dink. I'm riding in a stinky dink, man. It stinks. Halele. It's bad. Halele. In the master three in the stinky dink. This is a stinky dink.

Halele. Flicheche. Flicheche. That sounds like a Spanish way of talking about your privates. Stinky dink. I'm embarrassed now. I've got a stinky dink. That half hurt. It went up my nose.

Anyway, this is a disaster, right? I always have, because my fiancé, Aaron, and I say this with such love, and this is one of the things I love about him most, he's massive, right? He's a big boy. I know, I've been watching your renovation stories. I know, I just see him breaking concrete yesterday. And he's just breaking, he's reno-ing stuff, and he's in your tiny little cottage.

He looks like a giant. He's a giant. And I love this with him, but he loves antiques. So often we'll always go to antique stores and look around. Antique stores, 50% glass. So I'm always going like, oh, Aaron, oh, Aaron, Aaron, watch here, watch here, watch here. Literally, we were in one yesterday.

I said, watch your wingspan. They ram stuff in those shops. Oh, my God. Like, you can't even move in those places. I know. They're like a hoarder's bedroom. They truly are. But this is my worst nightmare.

And this happened to a woman in Australia. She was at, sorry, in America. She was at a VIP event for an art opening. Now, I've seen this. It's a US pop artist called Jeff Koons. He makes these glass sculptures of balloon animals. But they're glass. They're glass.

Oh, cool. I'm looking at them now. That's so cool. This is in the arts district in Miami, isn't it? Yes, it is. This is a very cool area. Art Wynwood. Art Wynwood.

Yeah. And anyway, so this woman knocked it over. And this is worth about $70,000. US? No, no, no, no. New Zealand. Okay, wow. That's still a lot though.

With her purse? Was it with her purse that she spit in her purse? It's always the purse that hangs at a weird... I clutched mine in the front like you can't have it. Yes. No, no, no. It wasn't with the purse. Oh my gosh,

she was bloody tapping it. Oh, you dumb dumb. Because it looks like a balloon sculpture. Oh, so she wanted to see it. So she just went like that. And tapped it over.

Yeah, and the thing just fell over and shattered into thousands of pieces. So this is not, you know, a bit of glue. Could they have blue

tanked it down? I think they should have. Is it on them? No, it's not on them. It's on the woman who was tapping this piece of art. You never touch the art. Yeah. Everyone knows that.

Yeah. So she was touching it to see if it was a real balloon. Yeah. It obviously wasn't. It shattered into thousands of pieces. She said she wanted to absolutely disappear. Oh, you would. Like wanted the earth to like...

Oh my gosh. The big question, has she been billed for this? Yeah. She has to pay $70,000. Oh my god. Okay, so this is how bizarre art is, right? So she was super sorry and the gallery was like, don't worry,

it's covered by insurance. But it's gone, right? Like, art's art. It's gone. But collectors have found a silver lining in the accident. So they've made it more valuable because there's one less of them. Yeah. Right?

So there was a limited run of these, so now it's even more limited because one's gone. Yeah. And despite it being absolutely shattered to smithereens, this artist is so famous that people are still interested in buying the broken pieces of it. Just like that bloody shredded Banksy thing that then increased in value. So having a pile of glass on your table

and people come around and they're like, what is that? And you're like, that's actually a broken one of a kind. Would you put it in a bowl? It's art, babe, look it up. Don't touch it, it's glass. That's a Coons piece there. Wow,. Look it up. Don't touch it. It's hot. Yeah, sure. That's a coon's piece there. Wow.

So insurance pays. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to. Wow. But obviously so embarrassing. I want to know when you broke something in a store. This happened to me in Edinburgh. It was raining and I was in Jandals and I got two bottles of red wine and I was holding

it like this, one in each hand, going to the checkout. And then I stepped forward, slippery floor, jandals, smash. You smashed two bottles of red wine. 1.5 litres. That'd be nothing. I reckon wine bottles would get smashed in supermarkets all the time. They didn't charge me the last time. They didn't have carpet in supermarkets.

They'd have sold this. Suck it up. No, softer floor as well. Oh, okay. No, I don't think that. I think that'll just be stained. There's a lovely long shag pile in your local can. I don't know why that's so feel to me.

It would be the track marks from where it's constantly rolled over with trolleys. It would be the grossest carpet in the world. That's why it's lino. But I always wonder about that in supermarkets because you always see the odd like jar of relish smashed on the ground. But like they always have the wine display. Sometimes all it takes is a trolley into the side and they all come down.

That's right. Down they tumble. Maybe you work in an art gallery. Maybe you work somewhere. Like, I've definitely gone

into clothing stores and thought I was smaller than I am and ripped clothing. Oh yeah, I've heard a couple of rips. getting a shirt over here. Oh well,

that's ruined now, isn't it? That's on them for having poor stitching. Yeah, and be more body inclusive. That's ruined now, isn't it? That's on them for having poor stitching. Yeah, and be more body inclusive. That's on you. That's on you. We want to know when you've broken something in a store or an art gallery or a museum.

Heaven forbid. Because a woman knocked over a very expensive piece of art in an art gallery. $70,000 New Zealand dollars. $70,000. But insurance paid for that. Yeah, I know, but it's art, you know. God, but until you heard those words, insurance will cover this, you'd be a little worried, wouldn't you?

You don't even get a piece of art at the end of it. You're packing yourself. Vicky, when did you break something in a store? Well, I went to Kipapa in Wellington with a bunch of girls, and I was a youth worker. Yep. And we walked in, and there would have been this nice black carpet pinned to the wall.

It was about 20 metres in length and it went up by about 15 metres. And I was like, oh, this is awesome. It's something textile that you can play with. So I put my face up against it. I rubbed my arms, did a nice massive angel wings. And then I stood

back and I tried to convince the girls to do it and had a look at it. When you stood back it had down in the bottom corner please don't touch. And I was like, well, why is that? And I stood back even further and looked at it. It was actually carpet that was brushed so that it showed

a rainforest with gorillas. You ruined the carpet art. You ruined the carpet art, you son of a... You idiot! You pushed your face against it. I did. I did massive angel wings and I thought it was beautiful. Wow.

I mean, that's on them for not having that roped off, to be honest. That is so funny. They might have had a little velvet rope. You didn't step over the velvet rope to get to it, did you? A hundred percent. But the sign was so tiny in the bottom corner. I just grabbed our girls and I was like, okay,

it's time to leave. So you were there as the adult accompanier to these girls, trying to show, you know, a good example, setting good examples, etc. Wow, you broke an artwork. That is so funny to me. Thank you so much for sharing, Vicky. Lucy, what did you smash

in store? Hi, canicky. Lucy, what did you smash in store? Hi, can I just say long time listener, first time caller. Many dings, many dings. Many dings. Welcome, Lucy. Welcome. Thank you. When I was in Dunedin

as a student, we'd been in a day drinking flat party and we went to another flat party. And of course, we had to stop in at the New World on the way. And I was sort of grabbed some stuff and then I was walking backwards. I definitely had had a few at this point. And I walked backwards into a Verve Clicquot pyramid. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Not the Verve Clicquot. How many bottles smashed, Lucy? I think about seven. And at this point, the two guys I was with were like, ah, who's going to have to pay for this? But then they didn't charge us anything. We just sort of got off scotch free.

Wow. Wait a minute, did you say scotch free? Yeah. Wait a minute, did you say scotch free? Is it scotch free? It's scotch free, not scotch freefree? Is it scotch-free? It's scotch-free, not scotch-free. Ah, I don't know. I got off scotch-free.

I got off scotch-free. I like scotch-free. I like scotch-free. Yeah. You're imagining you got off sort of like you got a scotch fillet for free. That's why it's scotch-free. Or a scotch on the rocks for free. Yeah, I got off scotch on the rocks.

Yeah, gorgeous. I got off scotch on the rocks for free. Yeah, I got a scotch on the rocks. Yeah, gorgeous. I got off scotch free. Okay, so in medieval England, there was a tax called a scot. And if someone was able to avoid paying it, they would say you got off scot free. Ah, Lucy has coined the term scotch free, which is where you get a free scotch. A lot of people have Googled, is it scotch or scotch?

So a lot of people do say scotch, but it's not correct. Can we come back to this Verve Clee code? Did you at least lick the floor? Because it's one of my favourite champers. No, but you would expect to need in students to do a floor suck. But no, we thought with the glass and things, it would be dangerous. What I would do is get a towel, soak up the Verve, and then wring out the towels in a sieve

to get any glass to get it out of the glass. Through the sieve, funnel it back into a bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a missed opportunity there. I would have just put the sieve over my mouth

and sucked off the floor. Because any glass that you get through the sieve is too small to do you any harm. Like get a cheesecloth like that over the mouth and down on the supermarket floor. Yes.

Oh yeah, like a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect idea. Well I hope listeners that are hearing that do that next time they knock over the verve clicker down on the supermarket floor. Yes. Oh, yeah, like a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. Perfect idea. Fantastic. Well, I hope listeners that are hearing that do that next time they knock over their clicker because, yeah, don't waste it. Yeah, don't waste it. Thank you, Lucy.

First time caller to the show. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Really appreciate that. Bye. And we learned something. Bye, Child Ballot. And we learned something. We learned about Scott Free, didn't we?

Scott Free. Some messages in. Can you tell Fletch that it's vinyl, not lino? Lino was the company that made vinyl. I've heard him say that twice now. You've been told. But I thought it was linoleum.

It's linoleum. Linoleum's a product. Surely. Linoleum. Are we about to learn something else? Maybe we are about to learn something else.

We're on a learning sprint. It's not even a fact of the day. Linoleum flooring. Wikipedia. Linoleum. Sometimes shortened into lino is a floor covering made from materials

such as blah blah blah blah blah but it doesn't say anything about being a brand first it doesn't say well I can delve into that while you carry on

yeah you find out if linoleum is a product or a company a brand and you give us some more messages of where when people have

broken things and I'll just I'll just sort of support you both. Thank you for your ongoing support. I backed into a huge Ipes sculpture of a ballet dancer in a bar in Vegas and snapped her leg off and smashed it all over the floor and made a very quick exit after that. I was looking at a very expensive plate. When I saw it cost $800, I put it down carefully back on the stand of whence it came.

No. Walked through the store about five meters away. Heard Normandy Smash did not even turn around. Don't. Don't. Didn't turn around. It's better not to. Just kept going. You'll never know. One of the forklift drivers dropped a pallet of alcohol this morning from the truck. That was a big mess. Again, floor

suck. A floor suck? A pallet of alcohol. You wouldn't even probably... Have you had suck. A floor suck? A pallet of alcohol. You wouldn't even probably... Have you had anything to drink, sir? A pallet. Just the first pallet. I've had my share of a smashed pallet. I went to Countdown to get bird feed

and got the wrong one, so I put it back on the shelf and it rolled off the shelf and made a loud smack on the floor and bird seed went everywhere and then someone came to help, stood on the bird seed, slipped over and dragged down another shelf.

That's a calamity. That's a comedy of errors. That's a calamity. I didn't break anything but I did knock down a whole shelf of puzzles and books at Posty Plus. What were puzzles and books doing at Posty Plus? I thought that was exclusively clothes. Yes, sounds like that's out of their jurisdiction. They might have been at the Posty Shop.

What did they smash? They said they pulled down a whole shelf of puzzles and books at Posty Plus. No, that's not. They meant a post shop. They do cardigans. Do they think the Post Plus does makeup? Yeah, Posty Plus does makeup.

Does it have books and puzzles? I've never seen a book or a puzzle in there. No, they're thinking of a post shop. I don't know anything about a post shop. They've got that wrong. Are they now just learning for the first time that Posty Plus and the Post Shop are a different thing? Gosh, we're learning, learning, learning.

There is a lot of history about Lino, guys. This is a full-on Wikipedia page. I'm going to have to come back to you. Product within a brand, so it's not the same with sheet vinyl. Product within a brand, so it's not the same with sheet vinyl. Well, look, we're calling it Lino. I'm just going to call it lino Yeah but you

Everyone reserves the right To tell you you're wrong Somebody also thinks It was not a postie plus It was a paper plus Yes Which would explain the books and puzzles That would be the books and puzzles

Yeah My money's on it It was a paper plus And there might be a post shop Within the paper plus I don't know if they're I don't know if they Sometimes they piggyback

Sometimes they They do a lotto in there as well They do a lotto sometimes Because our dairy's a post office Yes I My dairy's a post office. Yes, my dairy's a post office. It's really annoying trying to post something and someone just is coming in for their bloody ciggy. Magnum.

And a dollar mix. And a dollar mix and a magnum. And you're like, I'm trying to post a letter here. Yeah, and you're asking me a lot of questions about how many stamps you'll need. Exactly. Clay, Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day comes to us from NPR. It is from a podcast called Reframing History. And in this episode in particular, they were looking at bananas. Bananas. Bananas. Everyone loves a banana. I have to read the transcript of the podcast. Oh, okay.

One of the hosts says, In the mid-1880s, a sizable banana market was beginning to appear in the US thanks to a company called Boston Fruit. Before them, the banana was known in the States. It was considered a rare, weird, and I wouldn't even call it a delicacy because it wasn't.

If you look at some books from the 1800s, things that are interesting about the banana is that it was taboo because of its shape. It looks like a willy. It looks like a willy because obviously from the tropics to get to anywhere that's not the tropics took some time in the 1800s and there wasn't refrigeration technique for shipping. Yeah.

So bananas would get there and they'd be rotten so nobody bothered. But then when shipping got quicker. Question. Why can I go to the supermarket, buy a bunch of bananas, put them in the fridge and then they're all yucked? Why would you put bananas in the fridge? And then they go all yuck. Why would you put bananas in the fridge? And then they go all yuck. Because you put them in the fridge. Because it's too cold.

They refrigerate them to get them here. But how can you refrigerate them to get here and they're fine? But they've been unrefrigerated and then you're re-refrigerating them. You know when you take something out of the fridge? You can't put it back. Because you know in summer, all the fruit flies and you just like, you want your bananas there, but the fruit flies are everywhere. The fridge makes them go brown in like half an hour.

Yeah, really quick. Okay. Because of the other stuff. Maybe the stale air in there, I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Don't call my fridge stale. I don't think it's stale. You've got a stinky fridge.

And you've got a stinky dink. I've got a stinky dink. Your car's a stinky dink. And your fridge is a stinky dink. No, my fridge is fresh AF. No, I won't stand for it. You've got a fresh fridge. It's a fresh fridge.

Stinky dink, fresh fridge. So the banana, when it first showed up after its refrigerated transport and slightly quicker transport, looks like a penis in case nobody's caught on to why it was believed to be immoral. And Americans and the English and stuff, only the posh people had bananas because they could afford to travel to the area where bananas could be growing. So, you know, for Joe Average, they were considered a little bit dirty, a little bit phallic. Oh, my God.

You shouldn't be eating the phallic fruit. So they began a marketing campaign, and how they broke the taboo was they had posh-looking Victorian ladies sitting under trees having a picnic holding banana, and eating a banana. Okay. But that was still too much for some people, and that was where the sliced banana came about. You've got to slice it.

Yeah. Oh, okay. You slice it. Yeah. You have it served. That's how I like to have it, otherwise I get triggered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, flashbacks.

Yeah, because you always cut yours and put it in your bowl, because you find it triggering, don't you? Yeah. Oh, no, yeah. Like, oh, flashbacks. Yeah, because you always put yours in your bowl because you find it triggering, don't you? Yeah, I kind of would have said, oh, no, it's not triggering. It's just that I can't eat porridge with the whole thing. But if I'm just going to eat a banana, gobble from the end. Yeah, right.

Gobble it up. I think if you see someone eating a banana and you think it's phallic and immoral and sexual, that's more on you than it is on the person enjoying it. A delicious potassium rich banana. Gotta get that potassium. One of the building blocks of life. Gotta get it and that's the quickest

way to do it. Gotta get that. Get the skin back and just get it in. So today's fact of the day is I just didn't mean it like that. See that says more about you than it does about me. I didn't laugh. It was a sneeze. It was a laughing-sounding sneeze.

So today's fact of the day is when bananas were first introduced to the Western world, America, Europe and the likes in the 1800s, they were considered quite the immoral fruit. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Now, during that song of Beyoncé's,

what you don't know is in that time, I very quickly rushed to the toilet. Yeah, sometimes we only have two and a half minutes. And our studio is the furthest away from the toilet, so you have to run through the main reception area, all the way through, past the lifts, past all the people going upstairs and you have a big whiz and then you've got to get back.

So I'm empty. I'm good. Yeah, good. But the reason I run... I'm glad to hear. I'll sleep. I feel like I've updated the nation. I'm empty. But I've got one kidney. I pee a lot, right? Like I pee all the time. And when it arrives, it's got to go now.

There's no warning. I don't get a build up. Right. It's just like holy guacamoles. I've got a question about the kidney because you say the one kidney, but doesn't it all go into the bladder and then the bladder fills up and then that empties? Yeah, it does.

I blame the kidney. This is when I go to kidney specialists and I'm like, why am I peeing so much? They're like, probably not the kidney. I was like, I think it's the kidney. All right, small bladder. Yeah, yeah. I've got a small bladder too. As soon as I'm like, I am I peeing so much? They're like, probably not the kidney. I was like, I think it's the kidney. Small bladder. Yeah, yeah. I've got a small bladder too.

As soon as I'm like, I need to pee, I need to pee. My wife held it for like 90 minutes the other day. I was like, you're a superwoman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your supermodel would be coming back out my eyes if I held it that long. I'd just pee in the seat where I was standing. But this is a problem,

my constant peeing because I no longer have a toilet in my house. Because of the renos. Yeah, I officially live as of, in a house with no toilet, no shower, no basin, no mirror. Right. Not a single mirror in the house. For what, two months?

Like four or five. Why don't you get a portalo or something? We have. It arrived yesterday. What, like a builder's site or a festival portalo? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it flushes though site or a festival port-a-loo? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it flushes though.

Do you have to pump it? With the foot. Do you think if you had a port-a-loo like in this situation, it's more bearable because it's your state? Absolutely. Whereas at a festival, you're like. Oh, it's just hundreds of people. It's a constant flow.

I know. I'm sure port-a-loos are lovely when it's just one or two people using them. Do you know what we also have is a port-a-shower. So it's like we put it down by our garage. Portaloos against the neighbor's fence. You know? Yeah. And then the port-a-shower's on the other side.

Yeah. Now, are you still streaming the webcam from the port-a-shower to make the money to help with the renos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't got the live feed up yet. It's like, oh, whoops, the one on my garage accidentally pointed into the shower. That's the sort of anger I'm going for.

But I just need to get the latter out there. Is that on Patreon or OnlyFans? OnlyFans. How much are you charging? Like, I don't know if you've seen my body, but I'm charging what it's worth. Put it that way. Okay, right.

Put it that way. But yeah, these port of showers, it turned turned up yesterday and it's like, it looks exactly like a portal when you open it and then there's a door and it's got a little mirror like this, like a little, like a rear view mirror. A little peephole mirror. And then there's a shower curtain after the door so you can hang a towel on the door and then you go in and it is hot. Yeah, yeah.

Is it like a gas? And then you hook up a barbecue gas thing to it. in and it is hot. Yeah, yeah. Is it like a gas? And then you hook up a barbecue gas thing to it. Wow. To the back. Oh, okay. So it can be hot. Right, and then you just plug your hose into it, do you? Yeah, you plug your hose in.

Hose in through the gas unit that's heating up off your gas bottle. Yeah. And into the little port-a-shower. That's me for the next week. That sounds all right. That sounds all right. Having a little trot down to the back. I know, but the only problem is, and this is what Aaron sent me yesterday,

the toilet is like, we've got a long property. Yep. Must be nice. Well, it's skinny. It's long and thin. You've got a long, thin, long, thin. I was going to admit that information. Sometimes it's not wide enough.

No. It is too skinny. Like the house takes up the whole width. Yeah, the house is the width, but boy is it long. It's long. So the distance from the bedroom we're sleeping in at the moment to the toilet is too long. I won't make it in the middle of the night

because of the bladder issue. Yeah, the head touch. So no, what we're getting is one of those buckets with a... With a toilet lid on it. With a little toilet lid on it. And then Aaron was like, well, just keep it by the bedroom door. So in the middle of the night, because I'll do two or three wee's a night, it goes in there.

And then what, you empty it in the morning? You just empty it in the morning. Onto the lime tree. Sawdust? Are you sawdusting? Because you would be cutting lots of things. There'd be lots of sawdust. You put that in the bottom and it neutralises the smell.

Because this one, you just put a bag in it. Yeah, put the sawdust in the bag. Oh, that is gross. And then just tie the bag off every morning. Sometimes you don't need to. People who live off the grid will have that sawdust. You're like one of those manky European freedom campers. Like if Aaron gets up to weigh at the same time as me.

You're like a manky European freedom camper. Yeah. You can't say that. You've slept with more European freedom campers than all of us. No, remember that time one of them just took a dump on the street in Dunedin? Yeah. You can't say that. You've slept with more European freedom campers than all of us have. No, remember that time one of them just took a dump on the street in Dunedin? Yeah. That is mean.

Those are the worst things that's happened on the street in Dunedin. These people who live in permanent residences in Dunedin that poo on the street and then light things on fire on the street. You make a very valid point there, Borg. When Dunedin was like, oh, these disgusting tourists, I was like, maybe we need to have a look at our own backyard before we start slandering. They probably drove into Dunedin and saw three dumps on the side of the road and was like, maybe we need to have a look at our own backyard before we start slandering. They probably drove into the Eden and saw three dumps on the side

of the road and was like, must be the local custom. And I shall honour it. Yes, I will do as the locals do. Went into the Eden, shit on street. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The TikToker has taken to the TikTok to basically, as this reporter describes it, spit nothing but the facts.

Okay. For 22 seconds. Yeah. She did a bit of a psychoanalysis on guys and looking for the right guy for her to date. And she said, we have to talk about the, what's it called?

The green flag? The unsung. The unsung heroes. Usually Fletch can't say unsung. Unsung. He says unsung. Unsung. Like Samsung.

The unsung green flag, that is, if you're looking at a guy and he, his basketball team, his football team, his hockey team, his rugby team, whatever, his team that he just loyally supports is awful, loses every game, never makes the playoffs, never makes the finals, just sucks. And there's still his ride or die team. That is a green flag. Because you know that this man is both passionate and loyal. So Anne, he'll stick with you forever,

even if you're an absolute loser. The good and the bad, till death do us part, and sickness and health. It's a big green flag. And I go. But he might love the Warriors, but every now and then, what's your Tigers game? Do you know what I mean?

I don't know, but he's here. That's kind of cheating. That would be cheating. It's cheating, but he would never turn his back on the Warriors. He would never wear the supporters jersey. God, no. No, no, no, no, no. And so many people jumping on saying, this is such a good observation.

Such a good green flag. That men, and I'm sure it would work either way. Yeah. People that just absolutely for years and years and years have supported these teams. But then could you be. It's good loyalty. How many Warriors games would you have to watch? You don't have to watch them.

I guess you can go out with the girls while he's watching the Warriors. You could go out with the girls. You could absolutely do that. I don't think to watch that. I guess you can go out with the girls while he's watching the Warriors. You could go out with the girls. You could absolutely do that. I don't think I follow a pack of losers. I don't really follow many teams. Miami Heat and basketball. Love the All Blacks. You got onto the Miami Heat, though.

That's recent, though, isn't it? That's fresh. That's just from last year. You love basketball. My loyalty is yet to be tested. We'll see how long it lasts. But, no, I don't follow any losers. Are you a Warriors fan?

Oh, they're our league team. I don't support any team more than the Warriors. The Warriors, if I'm going to watch a game of league, I'm going to be cheering for the Warriors. I want the Warriors to win. Yeah, so do I. And they're also nice people. Terrible at rugby rugby but nice people

we've met lots of them rugby league rugby league rugby leaguers yeah I don't even know what I heard yeah

this year's our year oh is it I heard this year's our year now we did get beaten in Christchurch in the pre-season by the storm but it was by the storm

yeah you can't you know the storm the storm are crazy yeah they could just stop being Yeah, but the year hasn't started. You can't, you know, the storm, the storm are crazy. Yeah. If they could just stop being so good, and a few other teams also stopped being so good, and maybe we got a little bit better.

This is our year. I've got to say, based on how it's going so far, I don't think 2023 is anyone's year. But, yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's why we need the Warriors more than ever. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it?

We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Yeah. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.