ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st July 2022

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

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For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app and earn rewards on your coffee. Well, yesterday... It was my first show yum cha. Yeah, wasn't it great? Well, yesterday was my first show yum cha. Yeah, wasn't it great? Well, it was interesting.

It was interesting. I mean, the food was incredible. I've done yum cha before. I've done yum cha before. But with people I've gone with in the past, it's been a lot slower. No. A lot more sort of chat in between

each dish. No. Usually a drink on the table. Yeah. Yeah, just a lot slower. It felt like we were on a mission. Oh yeah, we were on a every time we go to Yum Chow, we're a 35 minute from start to end.

Well, only the two of us had sat down because we got there early and I just had to order a couple of dishes because the lady was right there. I was like, yes, get it on the table. Might I say the dish is well picked, guys. Yeah, yeah. It was great. I just want to say, though, Carween, the show Vegetarian, really, I think, well, no, I was going to say she ate,

she had more than her fair share. Oh, you reckon? You saw her eat those beans? Yeah, she did have a plate. No, with bok choy. Oh, stalky bok choy. A yum cha is not a place for a vegan or vegetarian. I think she had a shi pa took in an ice cream ball.

Oh, they're good. Yeah, great little finish of the ice cream ball. You're right, though. Even it was speed. It was speed yum cha. God, I left that place. I needed to roll out of there. It was just like in, sit, eat, out.

Yeah, that's how you got a yum cha. Because they also don't want you there. It was just like in, sit, eat, out. Yeah, that's how you got a yumcha. Because they also don't want you there. Did you see when someone leaves as well how quickly they just rip everything off the table? Yeah. Flick a new table cloth on. In and out, in and out, in and out. Yeah, Vaughan said we have the best table in the restaurant too because it's by the main arterial.

Yeah, out of the kitchen. Every trolley has to go past you at least once on their round the bit i found confusing was when they started bringing out the ice cream balls and the sweet buns and i was like well here we go it's a natural conclusion and then they came back with things i liked like pork buns and chicken wings yeah yeah well yeah and i was like now i'm now i'm confused you gotta grab a couple of ice cream balls or mango pancakes when you see them because you don't know if you're going to see them again. So you get them, you set them on the table. But also Yum Char's about the only place where I'll go sweet and then back to savoury.

Yeah, you're jumping back and forth. Yeah, I might have a sweet bun here. And then you're like, you did right, the barbecue pork buns came back. Yeah. Yeah. Bloody good buns. I was even debating having dinner last night because I was still so full. Yeah.

I was like, I don't really need food. I was thinking yesterday when I was sitting there, I could definitely start a business where I take people, white people to yum cha and just kind of show them the ropes. You could call it dum cha. Yes. Yes.

And I teach you from being a yumchar dummy to a yumchar, like, 35-minute in-and-out regret eating so much decision, which is a place of yumchar. That's your new business. I think you finally found it. Dumbchar. Yeah. Yeah.

I won't be taking people who are super fussy, though. Oh, yeah, they're annoying at these things. Or vegetarians. Vegetarians. No, they're just not enough for you. They were just a bother. Yeah. I'm joking. Or vegetarians. Vegetarians. No, vegetarian. They were just a bother. I'm joking.

I love you. Bad news about foot and mouth in Indonesia. You just went to Bali. Did you get any kind of like special treatment when you came back? All I got,

they made me take all of my shoes out of my bag. Anyone who had come from Indonesia had to take all my shoes out of my bag. Anyone who had come from Indonesia had to take all their shoes out of their bags and put them through,

like took them into a room and rub them through like a solution. To kill the foot of mouth. To kill whatever, if you'd been into any rural areas, which I kind of had.

Yeah, right. Okay. But that was it. So this is the one that would absolutely decimate our dairy and beef industry. It would, yeah, it would, yeah. It's the one where they were, like, literally piling up dead animals in Britain and burning them that time. Yeah.

When was that last big outbreak? I remember it. Like in the 2000s? Yeah. Or 2010s? 2010s, maybe? Yeah. Well, foot and mouth, yeah.

Not good, not good. I mean, it was just when my bloody inheritance was looking flush because the milk payout was up to a record high. Oh, yeah. You don't need this decimating your inheritance. I don't need this decimating my inheritance. On your parents' farm. It's nice to have a personal angle to understand the devastation this could cause.

And if it's directly my financial loss. Talk about devastation. I talk about devastation. Yeah, sure. Well, I want you to know that I have my shoes cleaned. Well, fantastic. Yeah. Thank you for doing your part.

Okay. You're welcome. Hopefully we can keep that out, fingers crossed. Yeah, but also get yourself to Bali. I mean, it's cranking at the moment. Well, yeah, but wash your shoes before you come home. Yeah, absolutely. All right, coming up on the show today,

another chance for you to win some cash, all thanks to McCafe. Show us you're loyal. Go to our Facebook page and screenshot your home screen on your phone with the McDonald's app. We could be calling you back later on the show and giving you $200 cash and a $50 McCafe voucher.

The top six coming up. How many nuggets can you buy for $50? Oh, loads. Quite a bit, eh? Quite a few. I think quite a few. The top six. Yeah, the top six alternative gifts

that Jacinda could have taken to the US. Apparently gave a swamp kauri bowl when she was there. This is not a kauri tree that she was just like, cut that one down and laid me into a bowl. They fell down a while ago. They've been in a swamp. It's such a hardy water to last forever. Yeah, right.

People discover it when they're doing earthworks, pull it out and sell it for a fortune. And you're not allowed to do that. Well, I think you need to consult with the local iwi about it. It's their tree. Right. And I don't believe those connections were made. You're going to have to stop making these on your lathe, Vaughan.

You deny that. I won't be told what to do about it anyway. You made that gorgeous swamp coat-y pepper grinder. Yes, I did. And daily I use that. Mm-hmm. Yep. It was hard.

It really blunted my chisels. It's a hard word. All right. That's coming up in the top six. Next, though, on the show. Well, a woman has sued a man for $10,000. The reason?

Well, I shall tell you next. There's a woman in Michigan in the United States who's attempting to sue a man for US $10,000, which is about $15,000, $14,000 New Zealand dollars, because he stood her up on a date. That's it. That's the only thing he did. Can you do that?

Well, no, you can't. But she's tried. And it actually went further than you'd imagine. Right. So she launched a lawsuit against this guy who stood her up on a date. They'd been on one date already. And then he stood her up on the second date

for, she claimed, intentional infliction of emotional distress to the tune of $10,000 after he failed to show up. And then they were like, the guy was like, this is not going to go any further, obviously, because it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. They had a Zoom hearing with a judge. And then the guy, you know, the judge is talking to them about, you know, what do you say to the guy? And the guy's like, I'm going to be honest.

I don't have much to say because I didn't think it was actually going to go this far, that it would make it this far because it's so ridiculous. And then she says, he goes, I went on that date. And she's like, you're lying. You're, what is it? Lying under oath. Lying under oath. And then she uses all these legal terms.

And then the judge is like, oh, I don't think you understand what any of that means. She's claiming perjury before the judge says, you can't determine that. And she's like, what? And then he's like, so this under oath word, I think you've watched too many movies. Yeah, like too many legal shows. So she's representing herself. Yeah, she's saying it's a false statement made under oath that you went on this date.

$10,000 is what she wants. And then at the end, the guy's like, yeah, no. But at one point, the judge is on the guy's side about telling the woman that she doesn't know

what any of these legal terms mean. And then the guy's like, yeah, that's right. And then the judge turns to him and says, yeah, but you're a bit of a player. Oh my god. This sounds like an episode of Judge Judy or one of

those like trashy daytime court shows. Judge Rinder. That's the brash one. That really flamboyant one. Yeah, I love that trash. But yeah, then she said, everyone was like, I don't think I've ever heard a judge condemn a what would they be? The defendant for being a player.

Anyway, the judge told the woman that she'd filed to the wrong court. She went to like a big court and he was like, this is very, very small. And it's been totally dismissed anyway. So she doesn't get $10,000 because she got stood up on a date. Some date she must have been't get $10,000 because she got stood up on a date. Some date she must have been expecting for $10,000. Emotional distress. Emotional distress.

Americans, eh? Americans. They love to sue. They do. They love to sue. Always threatening to sue. I've never threatened to sue. Maybe I should try.

Well, yeah, it's not as easy here, is it? No. And then we've got ACC, so you're just going... I don't know if you can fill in your ACC form and put emotional distress. Because you were stood up on a date. Yeah, location. I think that's more for sort of slips in the shower. Right.

Or banging your head at work. Yeah, not being stood up. He hurt my ego. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, this will come as no surprise to you, but a study has been commissioned and it has found that New Zealanders are spending more on food. I don't think we needed this.

Cut to the ad break. Done. Like, we knew that, right? Yikes. So, four in ten New Zealanders say they're spending more than $200 a week on food, an increase of 35% on last year, new research shows. Yeah.

It's so easy to do it too. Yeah, especially now that you put your stuff, you go through the self-serve and you're like, oh, that's how much that costs. Yeah. Do you know what I always find gets me at the supermarket? Those things that you're like, wow, you don't buy them every time you go. Yes, sauces.

The essential, what are they? Staples. Oil. The pantry staples. But you don't need that, you don't need oil every time you go, but every time you go you need thread or something that you would consider not an every time. You're out of toothpaste. Yeah.

Dishwashing liquid. Yeah. Deodorant or like shampoo. Razor blades. The dishwasher tablets. Yeah. Laundry liquid. There's always three of them you need and they're all like 15, 20 bucks.

And you only went there to get a couple of things for a stir fry. Yeah. And then you're spending like way more. 120 bucks. Yeah.

So at the top end, the number of Kiwi households saying they're spending more than $300 a week jumped to 15% like 120 bucks yeah uh so at the top end the number of kiwi households saying they're spending more than 300 a week uh jumped to 15 from 12 last year uh so that's families having to buy more um and at the other end of the spectrum the percentage of households spending less than 100 a week on food has dropped to just 11 from previously. I wonder how many people are in these households, you know? Yeah, oh, I mean, I guess half the average.

Yeah, yeah, average. You have four and a half people or whatever it is. I actually saw this fella, and I wish I could find his username because I thought it was fantastic. A fella? You saw a fella? I saw a fella on... Sorry, are we fella? I saw her.

Yeah, she was out with my squad, see, and I saw a wee fella. I saw a, yeah, see, I was out with my squad, see, and I saw a fella. And he does, his specialty is showing you how to make, like, big meals for $20. Yes. We talked to that lady, didn't we, from Hamilton that does all the pre, the freezer meals and the big, what do you call them? Yeah, meal prep. Meal prep. Yeah. But this guy, yeah, he does, like, family meals that, like, your kids will actually eat. Yeah, meal prep. Meal prep. Yeah. But this guy, yeah, he does like family meals that like your kids will actually eat.

Yeah, right. Yeah, and he's just really interesting to follow on Instagram. But you can't remember this fella. Well, this is great. I mean, what a team. You've hooked me in and now you've left me flapping on the end of the line. Now I'm just scrolling through. Are there a lot of mince nachos?

Mince is good. That was a classic. Mince is always a classic. That's That was a classic. Mince goes far. That's what he was saying. Mince is getting so much more expensive as well. But if you chuck in a tin of beans. No, it's not beans. It was those little brown.

Mentals. Yeah, those. Are they cheaper? Yeah, you can get like a tin of those. And they're more mincey texture. Yeah, there's a mincey texture to them. So it's like you drain them and you add them in your mincey dishes and it makes your mince go further

and you're getting a bit of whatever lentils give you. Fiber. Protein? Fiber and protein. Fiber and vitamin something and something. And vitamin and potassium. I think there's some B5 in there. A B5-9 with potassium.

Ds? Any Ds in there? I think there's a few Ds. Yeah, good. There you go. I mean, who needs a multivitamin? Is that the answer for the future is just beef everything up with lentils? I don't know if it is. Well, I certainly hope not.

The vegetarians. I hope the economy and the world can recover so that we don't have to continue to beef things up with lentils. That's not what I signed up for when I was born. The future. Beef it up with lentils. I think I've got the most exciting news of the day. I think we might be doing it too early.

I want the late risers to hear this as well. We might have to remind people Netflix has got a new feature on its way. Very exciting. Ads. Cool. Yay. Remember those? Yeah.

Yeah. Is Netflix going to have an ad department? Or are they just going to pipe in ads from agencies? Just agencies. The same like as YouTube. It'll be like YouTube. Yeah, it'll be like YouTube. That's a shame.

Oh, you want some like cool curated ads? Yeah, yeah. I want well-made ads specifically targeted at my demographic. I mean, there might be. Some Super Bowl quality ads. Yeah. Why not? Mini films. Yeah. Art. Mini films.

Yeah. So this is coming next year? 2023. Yep. Early 2023. They're launching a cheaper ad supported plan. So you'll still be able to pay, I'm guessing, what you kind of pay now or maybe a little bit more with no ads at all.

Yes. So they're doing like a version, I guess, where if you're a value, they're targeting value conscious consumers who in the interest of saving a bit of money would happily watch ads. Well, not happily, but go like fine in order to save some money.

So you could have like, I guess it's like if you paid like a premium subscription, which lots of places do, right? Like YouTube does that. Premium subscriptions don't watch YouTube does that. Yeah. Premium subscriptions don't watch ads? Yes. Correct.

So Netflix is basically going to do that. And if you don't want to pay the premium subscription, you pay a little bit less, but you get ads. But how often? Yeah, but what do you reckon it's going to be? Have they said the price? Most popular plan without commercials at the moment. That's quite expensive.

Oh, no, that makes sense for what it is in New Zealand. $15.50 a month in the US. And it's about, what is it here? 18 or something? No, it's like 23 or something ridiculous. Right, okay. It used to be 18, but it's gone up. They haven't said how much it'll go down,

but it'll be substantial. So what would you pay for ads? $4.99? Like five bucks? I don't know. Oh, could charge $10 for the ad-based plan. But how many? Are you getting like TV?

Are you getting like a 40-minute show becomes an hour? Yeah, or is it like when you watch like TVNZ on demand, or TVNZ Plus sorry, or whatever, one of our broadcasters streaming services, you get like a couple of ads. Whereas if you watched it live on TV, you'd get. Many more. What is it? Like 90 seconds of ads or whatever, two minutes

of ads. Four minutes. Is it four minutes? Yeah, it's a lot. Because a 40 minute show A 40 minute show or 42 minutes is an hour. So it's 18 to 20 minutes of ads. And do you know why? My TV's not connected to. That's the, because it was the cup of tea time, right?

Boil the jug time. Yeah. Wheeze, water in, water out. You'd flick on the jug. You'd go wheeze. You'd come back. The jug would be done. You'd make your cuppa.

You'd go sit back down. The show's starting again. Yeah. But it is like when you watch it online, it's like a minute of ads. Also. I don't think that's cheap enough to endure ads. No, I would expect it to be like slashed,

not by a third, but like at least in half. What if they were like, we'll go to you for free, but boy, you're going to watch some ads. Yeah. Some people would happily do that if it was free. So they would see, Netflix would see ad revenue quickly ramp from $150 million

in 2023 by adding ads to $1.8 billion in two years time by 2025. Have they accounted for how many subscribers they'd lose? Well, they're already losing them. I guess that's the thing. Yeah, they announced yesterday they'd lost a million.

A record number. And they were expecting to lose two. But this would be good for like... Stranger Things. Yeah. Big Timber. Those are the two things holding Netflix up right now. Squid Game.

People will come back for Squid Game. That's coming, yeah, exactly. They'll come back for that. And they have also, the CEO yesterday when he announced he'd lost a million people said that normal TV, and I don't know if you guys have your show to, when's your show going to? Have you been paying attention? What do you mean?

October. Is that it? Is it on after that? We don't know. Because he's saying. They like to not tell us. Right. He's saying.

Even though they know. He's saying that normal TV will be dead in five to ten years. It just won't exist. It'll all be streaming. But you can already see that. Yeah, totally.

How much money TVNZ puts into TVNZ Plus versus standard terrestrial television. That works for me as well because five or ten years, that's the best,

these are the best years in my face. Right. You know what I mean? You'll be done after that. Five, ten years keeping it tight and after that I'll pop off. Where will the chase go?

Will the chase have to go to Netflix? Yeah, it'll have to get bought by something. So they're late to this apparently. So Hulu does this, HBO Max, Paramount Plus, Discovery Plus. Yeah, but I think those services... And Disney's thinking of doing it. Those services were always using shows that were already on TV

that people were used to having ads in the middle of. Yeah. Yeah, they've got ad breaks. Yeah, but Netflix never had that, did they? No. They were like, the original programming anyway didn't have ads. Yes. So TV's dying and then will die,

but then we'll just be streaming now with ads. Yeah. And then that will die when you can have it beamed straight into your brain, whatever we want to call that. Oh, that would be great. What would that be called? Brain vision. Brain vision.

Brain flicks. Brain flicks. Do you know what's exciting? Brain plus. Do you know what's exciting? What? Have you been paying attention back in two weeks on television? Good old terrestrial television. Well, today's silly little poll.

Do you prefer sparkling or still slash tap water? Do you know recently when I was in Bali, they came up to us and we did go to a couple of fancy restaurants because they're dirt cheap over there. Well, your fancy is like just like mid-range here. Mid-range here. And they said to us, would you like still or sparkling? And my friend just out of habit goes, just tap is fine.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, Jesus. All of us were like, fine. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, Jesus. All of us were like, no, no, no, no, no. And that's how we all got raging cases of diarrhea. I'm tap all the way. Oh, I see. I'm a big sparkling fan. At restaurants, I know that that's way more expensive,

so I'll probably just do still or tap. Yeah, because they always bring out either a bloody Antipodes or a San Pellegrino or something. And it's, like, more expensive than a bottle of wine. And you're like, I should have just got wine. And it just tastes like water. I just wanted you to whack it in a soda stream for 20 seconds. Well, that thing at home, I've got one of those Israeli carbonating machines in my kitchen.

An Israeli carbonating machine? Yeah, it's an Israeli company. The ICM, it's a far better name for the soda stream. The soda stream, it's an Israeli company. I didn't know that. Yeah far better name for the SodaStream. The SodaStream. It's an Israeli company. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, happy to support Israel with the SodaStream.

It is, isn't it? It is. It's a contentious one. Yeah. Yeah. As any Israeli-owned company is. Right. Shall I just say I've got a carbonating, I don't want to be cancelled, I've got a carbonating

water machine in my house. Yeah, same. Tall and slim. Yeah. And I like, especially in summer, it's so good. Sparkling every time. I love tap water.

And again, having been away, tap water is our privilege. How good is it to crank a tap and just have a sip of the best water in the world? If we're talking tap water, I forgot I was in the South Island for some of my holiday, not to keep going on about our holidays. In winter, the water comes out of the tap

so cold in the South Island. Yes, it's like refrigerated. Of course it does. It's bloody freezing. No, I know. What do you expect? But you forget about it because I just get cold water. Even in winter, I just get cold.

Yeah. But they get like cold, cold, cold, refrigerated water straight out of the tap. It's great stuff. It's a real treat. Well, we're part of the majority. S's great stuff. It's a real treat. Well, we're part of the majority. Silly tap water. It's still slash tap water. Still water 78%.

Wow. Sparkling 22. Okay. There's your bougie friends in their fledge. Yeah. Okay. So I'm in the minority. Yeah.

Some feedie backie. Nicole says you can't guzzle sparkling water like you can still water. No. Oh, my God. It fizzes up your nose. Plus, it tastes so sour. Water shouldn't have a taste. Not sour.

I don't know if it tastes sour. Is it naturally carbonated water? There's naturally sparkling water, right? In parts of France, is it? There's naturally carbonated. Yeah. And then would you say kombucha is... Well, that's fermented though from sugar.

That's fermented, yeah. So water wouldn't ferment. No. You'd hope not. Danny says, sparkling if I'm feeling bougie. Yeah, good. Tap water for the middle of the night. Caught in the Sahara thirst.

Yeah, I feel that. Adam says, I love sparkling water, but tap all the way. It's my favourite non-alcoholic drink. Actually, water is my favourite non-alcoholic drink. Actually, water is my favourite non-alcoholic drink. Oh, no, mine would be Coke Zero probably. Oh, my God. Really? More than water.

Josh says, still water, sparkling water is like drinking the ghost of delicious syrups past. That's very poetic. Poetic. Very. Charlotte, sparkling only if it's free. Yeah. How long have we been asking for a sparkling water tap in this workplace?

I know. I love restaurants that do a free sparkling water because they've got a tap. A lot of cafes do it. Yeah. It's good stuff. Amy says, only if it's the cheap free stuff. We hate paying for sparkling water. Yeah.

It's just air and water. Two free things. How good is drinking water and you're expecting it to be still or tap and it's bubbly? And you're always like, ah! Ah! Ah! Yeah, people, I'm not paying for it at restaurant prices. Gee whiz, Caitlin. No, no, sparkling water tastes like TV static. That's a great way of describing it.

So many people are anti-sparkling. I know. Oh no, this is bad. Felicity says, my stepdad has trained my two-year-old nephew to demand bubbly water from the soda stream. Such a nightmare. I had a nephew that was like that too. He'd say, where's my bubbly water?

I'm going, Jesus. I say that to Aaron all the time. Where's mama's bubbly water, baby? Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. I did not know this, but there was in 2018 a case at the Supreme Court

to stop the export of raw swamp coldy logs. Oh, okay. Yeah, I did not know this. Because apparently somebody planned to just pull them out of the swamp and send them to China for the top dollar. Oh, okay, right. Top dollar, but it's a no-no. Still buy, like, bowls and things made out of swamp coldie?

Yes, so that's processed. Right. That's processed. And Jacinda, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, gave a swamp coldie bowl to Joe Biden. President Joe Biden as a gift. Yes. And that's a gift. Yes. And that's a problem, apparently.

So it's apparently a very rare situation that a tree like the coldie would fall into peat swamps and stay there buried and perfectly preserved. You know when they dig out a bloody woolly mammoth? Yeah. Amazingly preserved, and it was because it was in peat. Yeah. Some swamp coldie between 860,000 years old. Oh, wow.

That's how long it's been in there. Isn't that phenomenal? Amazing. So anyway, he got a bowl, and it's a beautiful bowl. It's gorgeous. Beautifully laid. It's absolutely lovely. I like the guy that made it said it's not like a bowl bowl.

It's like a display bowl. No, you wouldn't put the keys in this. You wouldn't put chips on there because the fat would mark it probably. Yeah. Fat from the chips. It'd have to be... I could put it as the one on the end of the bench. You know, you toss your keys in there. It's got a lighter in there for your candles. It's got a couple of

bills. The garage door. Yeah, your rates bill. I wonder if I could be cancelled for my clock that I made in woodwork at Intermediate. Is that Cody? I'm pretty sure it was a native timber. It certainly wasn't pine. There's many different rules for many different native timbers. God, well, if that's, yeah, if we're in trouble,

my whole house needs to be burnt down. Very old houses. They're all made of Cody and Rimu and the likes. Kind of a marker of time gone by. So I've got, well, if that's not right. By the way, she gave some other Kiwi gifts too. Two swan dry dog coats for his dogs. Oh, that's cute.

You wore your swanny today. Yep. Good Kiwi bloke. I love the swanny. It's breathable. It breathes. It's itchy. Yeah, my daughter whinged about how itchy it was.

And I said, you should have grown up in the back of a Ford Falcon with one of those old picnic blankets as the thing across the back seat. Now that was itchy. The top sip. sip, sip. He's had a stroke live. Live on air, New Zealand. He's had a stroke live. I hope when I go it's live on air. I want it to be a 10 past night break.

Do you want it to be like an aneurysm and you just flop over? Or do you want to have like a full on meltdown? Meltdown. Yeah, okay. I was thinking, yeah. A meltdown followed by an aneurysm and you just collapse. Yeah, yeah. Gooddown. Yeah. I was thinking, yeah. A meltdown followed by an aneurysm and you just collapse.

Yeah, yeah. Good mentee being. Okay. Yeah, right. A meltdown would be fun. Yeah. Great. Top six gifts Jacinda could have given

the US president. Number six. If you're talking about Kiwi gifts, she could have taken a tub of Hokey Pokey ice cream. Yeah, good stuff. Probably would have melted but then chuck it back in the freezer.

Yeah. You know when you said Hokey Pokey, I was about to correct you and be like it's hokey pokey. Just wanted to hear hokey. Hokey pokey. It's hokey pokey.

Number five on the list of the top six gifts Jacinda could have given the US president. Footrock Flats book. Oh yeah. What a great Kiwi cartoon strip

Footrock Flats was. I might force my children to read it. Oh, they don't want to do that. Force them to do it. Get them off the old iPad. Yeah, read this story about a dog that talks, but only in his mind, and I don't know if the man can hear him.

Number four on the list of the top six gifts Jacinda could have given the US president, the Sky Tower. Oh, I don't know. Are we done with it? I mean, it's being used at the moment to tell everybody it's one year until kickoff of the FIFA Women's World Cup

here at Aotearoa, New Zealand. Is that why it's a rainbow? It has just become a giant billboard, though. Like, literally, why is it that colour? You Google it and you're told something. Like a public announcement. I like it. Number three on the list.

I am growing to like it again. Number three on the list of the top six gifts Jacinda could have given the US President are a steak and cheese pie from a bakery. Yeah, good. My daughter just had her first steak. Indy had her first steak and cheese pie the other day. She's a mince and cheese girl. But she's realised that it's not the

mince that she loves, it's the gravy. So the steak also has the gravy. But then the big, I prefer a mince and cheese because the steak's sometimes dry and yuck. Yeah, nah, not at our local bakery. Okay. Nah, they, yeah. So the steak also has the gravy. But then the big, I prefer a mince and cheese because the steak's sometimes dry and yuck. Yeah. No, not at our local bakery. Okay. No, it's a good moist bit of steak.

Would have been a good present. Yeah. Yeah, great present. Number two on the list of the top six gifts Jacinda could have given Joe. He's not my president, so I don't have to call him that. Possum fur nipple warmers. Oh, I've got a set of those.

Yeah. They do the trick. How do you attach them? Do you put them in the brass array? Yeah, they've got a little sticky bit in the back and you stick it to the brass array. Yeah. Are they itchy? No, soft. Oh my god, possum fur is a true delight. Antithesis of itchy.

Yeah. Okay. Soft. Bastards of things. Yeah. But god, the fur's absolutely lovely. And number one on the list of the top six gifts Jacinda could have given Joe Biden an actual kiwi. Or actually, she could have gone a kakapo. But did you hear we've got more kakapo now than we've had in the last 50 years? Oh, that's good. I reckon it would have caused a bigger stir.

I'm just going to say it. I reckon it might have caused a bigger stir. Chuck it in one of those little cat carry cages that you always see at the airport. Yeah. Huck it underneath. There you go, Jo, your very own Kiwi. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I'm just giving my lovely, clean, brushed teeth this morning a lick. Not furry yet, too early in the day. But obviously there's been this stereotype for many, many years. I don't know when it started or how it's gone so far, but apparently it's because it's true that Brits have bad teeth. You know, when you see a sort of caricature of a Brit, they've got terrible teeth. Yeah.

Well, I'm half British, so that's... No, you don't have bad teeth. Thanks, thanks. Brits have, you know, bad teeth. And this is probably why. They did a study around dental habits in Britain. And from that they found that four out of ten young adults between the age of 25 and 34, that's my age range,

brush their teeth about once a week. That is disgusting. That is so wild. How many percent? 40 percent. Right? Four out of 10. 40 percent.

Yep. So when I read this, I was like, they've done something wrong. They've done something wrong. They've put the wrong number or something. But no, they go a whole week without cleaning their teeth. Is this, because I remember when the pandemic started and people were first stuck at home and couldn't leave, they were

forgetting to brush their teeth because they weren't going. You weren't leaving the house. I mean, and you might. But when you go to bed, you brush your teeth. Yeah, I mean, you'd think so. But everybody was so out of habit. And I remember reading studies and talking about people not brushing their teeth for days during the pandemic lockdowns.

No, this is just, this has got nothing to do with the pandemic. This is just overall. That is disgusting. The number one excuse they put for it is that they just forget. Is it not part of their routine or their culture? Yeah. Because like, I don't forget. It's like forgetting to go to the toilet.

And even if you do forget, you get the furriness, and you've immediately got a brush when you feel that. Yeah, harsh reminder. I would say I would forget to brush my teeth once or twice a year, and it would be on a weekend where I wasn't leaving. See, that's the thing. That's the thing. You're out of routine.

You're not leaving the house. No. To be fair, if I've got a hangover I'll brush my teeth like five times the next morning get the taste out of your mouth yeah that's where it lives

but yeah it would only be if I was like hanging around the house and then I got to lunchtime and went oh my god I didn't brush my teeth

this morning but I'd always brush them at night yeah never go to bed without I've got a weekday routine where you get up and I have a shower

and brush my teeth and go to the kitchen and have like vitamins and that and then come to work. And on the weekend, I always forget the vitamins part. Yes. But I never forget the brushing the teeth part. No.

The only manky dental habit I have, oh no, I've got two. One is I wear a retainer at night because I've had braces and I probably don't scrub it as much. Right. You know, sometimes I just put it in a cup of water or do some steroidine and I shove it in my mouth. I'm like, eh, it's going to get man-cured at night anyway.

Number two is if I'm in the car and I have something in my teeth I've got very tight teeth. Yeah. If there's something stuck in my teeth and I don't have like a pick or some floss or something, I pull out some of my hair and I floss with my hair. And lots of women would do this. I do that with...

Really? Your beard. Cubes. When it's long enough. Oh, no, I don't even do that. I can just do it. No hands. I can just get in there and I've got the tongue power

to push it through the gap. I've used like a string on a T-shirt. Strong tongueless guy. Like a thread on a T-shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's really tight, you've got to get it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'll use my hair. But I brush my teeth twice a day at least. Brits. Yeah, I mean, come on. Step it up, man. That is nuts. That just cannot be true. It can't be true.

This is all I can think about is it can't be true. Well, the podcast is out. It's called Shortland Street, the podcast And the first episode, episode one Is called The Dark Side of Ferndale You can download this podcast on iHeartRadio Or wherever you get your podcasts from And she's one of the greatest

The greatest actresses on the show, I'd say One of the greatest characters of all time Cora Forrester, good morning, my friend Oh, Kia ora, my friend. Thanks so much for the intro. She's a wreck. It's almost like you guys are friends. Almost.

I'll transfer that 20 bucks later, babe. Oh, thank you so much. I didn't want to have to hit you up. Also, I think Hayley's put her prices up. Because of inflation and stuff, I don't think it's 20 bucks anymore. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. We'll sort that stuff, I don't think it's 20 bucks anymore. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll sort that out. What are you suggesting here, Vaughn?

That you take money to... Pump people up on air. Pump people up. Yeah, you're a professional pumper. Now, Kura Forrester, who plays the wonderful Desdemona, you must have so much fun playing that character. I do.

She's a real dag. And what a joy to be a receptionist on Shortland Street. It's one of the most iconic positions. Right. I mean, it's a dream come true to be able to say Kia ora Shortland Street every now and then. It's the same feeling as saying, like, I'm Hayley Sproul, one news. Exactly. Exactly.

All the things me and Hayley used to do in the mirror as little gals. We're both basically fulfilling it. Tell us about the podcast. Episode 1, The Dark Side of Ferndale, hosted by yourself. Sure thing. So this is the first episode of about 8. This is all

part of our Turning 30, just something extra special for all of our fans. So on the first episode, I'm interviewing Sally Martin, who plays Nurse Nicole Miller. Of course. And Elizabeth Easter, who plays the psycho Carla Crozier. Yeah, one of the OG 90s villains there. Yeah, and she came back a couple of years ago,

oh, actually last year maybe, and hypnotised Sally. I don't know if you guys remember that. Yes, oh my god, yes I do. Classic hypnotising storyline. So those two are hilarious and they talk to me about what it's like to play those kind of storylines, what it's like to

sort of psych yourself up to be a murderer on the show and the episode also covers stunt coordinator Craig Dunn talks to us about how he coordinates all the fights and stuff on the show. So it's pretty cool. Will you be touching upon other legendary villains of Shortland Street? You've got to thank your Joey Hendersons, your Ferndale Stranglers. Yeah, we sure do.

We go through them all, yeah. Daryl Nielsen. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, we sure do. We go through them all, yeah. Daryl Nielsen. Oh, yeah, remember him? Yeah. God, there were some goodies. I remember when we've talked to shortlist street actors over the years, especially the villains, they say that, like, the public, they blur the line between fact and fiction.

Yeah, but people start yelling at them. Yeah, they start yelling at them, like, how dare you murder that person. Yeah, it's full on. I mean, I get some Instagram messages that people are like, stop being such a bitch today, Mo. Really? Yeah, and I'm like, this is my personal Instagram account. What a lovely lady.

But thank you for watching, you know? Yeah, wow. But yeah, fans are awesome. I feel, do you, I mean, Desdemona is honestly one of, I feel like Desdemona has become quite iconic. Like if you think about iconic characters, Waverly and the likes, I feel like Desdemona has become that. Do you feel that way as well?

Oh, I really hope so, you know. Like I just think I've been given the gift of the character, but I don't know if you've caught up lately. She's going through some stuff. I wanted to talk to you about what's happening with her at the moment because it's full drama. She's just been wet. Yeah, I've just been

wet. Damo got hit by a bus. By a bus? I nearly got hit by a bus once. And Hayley saved me. Yeah, she was like, whoa. I saved one's life. I just found some free sunglasses on the ground. I was going to run across the road to give them to Fletch and Hayley was like, stop.

They're good sunglasses. They're great sunglasses. You can see why I was excited and then I got hit by a bus. But now, like, if you... Oh, no, go, could I? I was just going to say, I hope you transfer Hayley 20 bucks for her trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she pumped me up. I absolutely pumped him up by keeping him alive. She pumped me up. But all the trailers at the moment, all the ads, all the stills, are you absolutely 10 out of 10 acting, by the way, Ku. Like the screaming, incredible. Thanks, Queen. I love it.

You know I love every moment of it. I mean, that's another 20 bucks. But I mean, there's a lot of drama for you. It must be so much fun. It is. It's a real blast. I bloody love it. So the next few episodes on Shorty are just

wild in terms of what goes down with Damo. So stay tuned, people. It sounds like you'll be getting some more messages in your Instagram inbox. Stop that. Well, the podcast is out now. Shortland Street, the podcast, episode one, The Dark Side of Ferndale.

And as you said, eight episodes. You can listen on iHeartRadio or wherever you get the podcasts. Kota Forrester, my darling, thank you so much for talking to us. Thank you, guys. I love you. I love you, baby. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. And let's not muck around. Let's not dilly-dally. Let's get straight into it. There's a pig on the loose. The Porongia Community Group, Julia writes,

Hi all, transporting a pig. That's a a saddleback black and white wiener. Wiener. Wiener pig. A wiener pig. Late this afternoon. Trailer cage door latch failed and we've lost the pig. Oh, no. Somewhere between Nahinapuri and Patarangi.

So they were driving. And the pig made it escape. Did a tuck and roll.angi. So they were driving. And the pig made it a skate. Did a tuck and roll. Yes. A tuck and roll. What, at 100 k's? Yeah. Wee!

Wee! It was worth it. Wee! You'll never get me. Would a wiener pig bounce when it jumped out? A wiener pig's only chance would be rolling. Yeah, right. Are they big pigs?

Well, a saddleback can get quite big, but a wiener, I think, has just been weaned from their mother. So they're just recently off the teat. So they'd be a little piglet. Little pup. Yeah, so thanks in advance. Now, there's a follow-up. Somebody said, hopefully the community collaborates

to find this insubordinate escaped pig. And people obviously laugh emoji reacting. Yeah. Julia, the original poster said, thanks to those putting up the laugh emojis. This is not a joke. Oh, is it like a pet? No, I think it's going to be eaten. Saddlebacks generally are eating.

Right. She's just lost some bacon. That's why she's pissy. Yeah. She's pissed. She's lost the Christmas roast. The Christmas ham's gone lost some bacon. That's why she's pissy. Yeah, well, she's pissed. She's pissed. She's lost the Christmas roast. The Christmas ham's gone bloody AWOL. Someone said, how big was it?

And again, a wiener pig's small because I thought what I saw, I thought was a dead black and white cat on the side of the highway. I just hope it wasn't your pig. But if the pig did the tuck and roll and the tuck and roll didn't go right. Yeah, right. It's toast. Remember that game Pass the Pigs? And you'd and the tuck and roll didn't go right. Yeah, right. It's toast. Remember that game Pass the Pigs? And you'd have those two pigs and you'd be like... Yes! And they'd go in

funny positions? Yes! And if they were in a different position... Yeah, yeah. I wonder how many points... Pass the pig or something? What was the... No, I thought you were talking about that one where you had that fluffy ball and you had a pig thing that you squeezed and the air came out of its snout and you had to keep it off the table. Oh, I don't know that game.

No, the little plastic figurine pigs and you'd have to put them and throw them in whatever position. And if they landed on top of each other, there were many points. Many points. Many points. But it was like if one's on its back and one's on its legs, this amount of points. Well, is there some sort of like pig karma sutra that went with it to tell you how many points the pig position was worth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard the name

but I've never played the game. Oh, it's a great game. Great game. Sounds like a fun game. Is it still around? I'm just Googling it because I want to find it. This, oh my gosh.

Yeah, pass the pigs. Yeah, and they were real little. And then this little black case and you opened it and you passed the pigs. How many pigs did you get each? You got two. So there was just two with the set

and then you got a points chart. Yeah. And then there was a little pad with a grid and a pencil, and you'd write what your points were. It was a great game. Double trotter if they're both on their nose. That's 20 points. Double smelter.

Were you working together, or were you working against somebody? No, you were going against your brother. So you'd chuck two pigs at once. You'd go one pig, two pig. No, you have to go two at once in your hand, because they might land on top of each other. Sort of like a dice game, but with pigs. Yeah.

And if they were piggyback, one pig rests on top of the other pig and not the table, the other player is eliminated from the game. Wow. Yeah, it's a great game. You could play up to how many people? It feels like if someone can be eliminated, you've got to have six players.

Make and bake, and both pigs are touching, both are resting on the table. Player's total score from the game is wiped out. Yeah, look, you can get it. It's like 20 bucks. Oh my God, I need to find this. Yeah. That sounds ridiculous.

Total 90s nostalgia. Whitcalls, 24.99 or Mighty Ape, 20. I want a vintage one. Yeah, they're new. They don't look the same. You've got to hit trade me. Although, look at the cool little,

it comes in like a capsule that you pull it out and then you put your pigs to sleep. Black wallet case, like a plastic thing. How did this game get off the ground? It was a great game. No, it was a great game. But who brought it forward at Milton Bradley?

Who's making it? I don't know. Oh, my God. This is it. I found a vintage one. On Trade Me. Yeah, I remember the thing. Oh, my God.

Buy it immediately. The pigs are wearing monocles on the front. Yeah. It's bid. It's got four bids already. Uh-oh. And you've just drawn attention to it. Buy it immediately. The pigs are wearing monocles on the front. Yeah, yeah. It's bid. It's got four bids already. Uh-oh, and you've just drawn attention to it. I always do this. I've hijacked your community notice.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's good. I've learned, and now I kind of want to play the game. You'll love this game, Bourne. I'm going to go $1,000. I'm just going to outbid them all. Is it like a Hungry Hippos level? Oh, it's better than Hungry Hippos.

Jesus, that's a massive call. I'm rocking a 20. It's at six. At the moment, I'm going to rock a 20. Jesus, that's a massive call. I'm rocking a 20. It's at six at the moment. I'm going to rock a 20. You went straight to $20.

It's worth it. Okay. All right. Carry on. Next from the buy, sell and swap hibiscus coast page. Actually save some of

that money, Hayley, because you might want to buy this. Mike's listed and from what I can see, originally when I saw this, I thought it was a lie.

I see a lot of people listed it for a gag, for a bit of a local joker situation. But I've googled and these are a thing. You can buy them on eBay for $150. A Dr. Pulaski's approved chastity protector. This looks

to be a female one. You strap it around. Strong metal with fine rusting, hinges on the front, back, and sides, marked by the maker, made for a small body, and you put it on. It goes around, and then a strap comes up underneath to cover the entrance. And then it's locked. And then your lover or your betrothed or I guess whoever's guarding your virginity takes the key and will only unlock it.

What if you need to go wheeze? There's a hole in the bottom. But it's a tiny hole. Now, if you've got a teeny tiny little penis, it probably could get through there. I'm just saying it's not foolproof. Like a pencil. But there is, yes, like a pencil. But if...

Don't waste your virginity on a pencil. No. Is there a photo? Yeah. May I see it, please? Of course you may. And you can Google it at home to see what it looks like. Dr. Pulaski's chastity protector. Oh, no, that's... It kind of looks like a gag, but at the same time it literally would work.

Who's putting that on? That's not breathable. That's all I'll say. Oh, no, it's not. It's not a breathable material. Certainly not a breathable material. Feed towards your bamboo or your cotton, not your metal and leather. Yeah.

Christ Church Pets page. Alexa writes, a friend had their cat escape from a box, open the window, and jump out of a truck doing 100 kilometers an hour tonight. Now, this is the second escaped animal. Are we on the verge of an animal revolution? It's Animal Farm. Yeah. Was that Orwell?

You know, the animals are, it's Stalin, basically. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of like the story of communism, wasn't it? And the pigs were in charge. But the pigs just did the tuck and roll out the back of the trailer. I don't know where the cat fits into Animal Farm. But the cat that jumped out of the window, they stopped and after a long time,

they eventually found her. She has a graze on the left side of her forehead below her ear and it's a little bit swollen. How do we keep it clean? There's no other signs of injury. This cat. It's an escape cat. Cats clean themselves.

I would let that happen. Everything they need is in their mouth. Can you get cat death hole? I don't think so. No. No, not that I've heard of. And finally, if you're in Kittikitty, there is something for sale. Well, actually, it's free.

Rob has listed it. Free haunted piano. Oh. A beautiful sound. It's still in churn. Purchased from an evil entity. This masterpiece plays itself almost every other quiet night you give it. Of course it does.

What evil entity? How did they pay them? I'm imagining souls. Did they do ping or? Yeah, alright, souls. You play with souls. But it's an Eve Staff. Do you know that piano brand?

No. Oh, yes, I do, yeah. Eve Staff piano brand. I use a Yamaha. That's haunted. Oh, I'm strictly Steinway. I'm, yeah. Eve Staff Piano Brand. I use a Yamaha. That's haunted. Oh, I'm strictly Steinway. I'm Casio. I was trying to think of that.

What are those legendary grand pianos? Steinway and Sons. Are they Steinway and Sons? Yeah. I couldn't think of it. Or a Bernstein. Casio keyboard. But if you're after a haunted piano, there's one up north.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page or any sort of neighbourhood page where someone's having a whinge a bitch or a crazy meltdown, screen cap it and send it to FVHZM. So Aaron is away and I'm at home by myself at the moment. And last night I was watching a little bit of TV and I was sitting on the floor in the lounge and I've been sort of slowly working through my washing and clothing from the holiday. And I was folding.

You like fold and watch. Yeah, fold and watch. There's a basket and I was sort of taking stuff off the clothes horse that's been in front of the fire. And then I was folding things and we've got like a rug on the floor, a big rug, and then we've got a smaller sort of shag rug, little vintage number that sits on it. And I was sitting on there, and I got hooked up a corner. And underneath, I found two perfectly pressed lotto tickets.

Wow. Okay. Just sitting under the rug and i was like what are these because we so sometimes we dabble in lotto but we're not like religious lotto players but if it's a big draw yeah i do the big i do the big draws yeah and then i was like why would these be under here aaron is a very is like a very like vigilant cleaner. Yeah, right. So he doesn't just sort of vacuum around.

He vacuums under the rug. Yeah, right. And he cleaned the whole house before we went away to Bali. And now I've found these sort of perfectly preserved and kept lotto tickets. So he's hidden them under there. I think he might have hidden them. You haven't hidden them. I didn't hide them might have hidden them. Because you haven't hidden them. I didn't hide them.

And that only leaves him. That only leaves him. Those are the occupants of the house, unless Raleigh did it, which is very unlikely. Well, it's very hard for a cat to buy a lotto ticket, isn't it? It is. Yeah. So my... They don't have the thumbs.

Yeah, they don't. He simply doesn't. That's literally the only thing stopping them. They know how it all works. Oh, yeah, he's got a hot card. Well, that and the fact he's not over 18. He's not. Well, he is in cat years. He is in cat works. He's got a hot card. Well that and the fact he's not over 18. He's not. Well he is in cat years. In cat years. He's in his 30s. But try explaining

that to the dealer. They don't do it in cat years. Oh do they do it in real years? Lotto only does real years. Not a lot of cats will make it that far. I know but that's the reward for hanging in there and not dying of kidney failure. So that and then what we've worked out there and it has to be Aaron that's put them there. Was there a date on the tickets?

Like, did you check them with the app? No, because I can't get in the app at the moment. They've changed the app. Yeah, well, I can't get in either. Because I went yesterday, oh, that's a pretty big one for a Wednesday. I'll just pop on. My account doesn't have enough money.

Top up. Unable. Yeah, right. So I was like, oh, I don't know what to do. Now I've missed out on $12 million. Yeah, did that go last night? Did that win? Did someone win? I don't know what to do. Now I've missed out on $12 million. Yeah, did that guy last night, did that win? Did someone win? I don't know.

I can't check the app. Well, you might have already won previously. Yeah, what if these tickets are winners? So this is what I've concluded is, I think they might be winning tickets. And he's hidden them because he wouldn't put them in his wallet while we went overseas. What if he lost them?

Terrible. Or that heat stuff that now you can, if you sit on them for too long, it all fades, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't put them in a drawer if he was trying to hide the millions from me because I would find them and go,

oh, maybe, you know, he might think that I'd go and check them or something. Okay, I'll just stop you here. He's not going to put a ticket that's won millions of dollars under a rug and then go away. He knows that I, when it comes to vacuuming, am not a vigilant vacuumer, and I sort of scoot around and move on.

So it would be a perfect place to put them that I'd never find them. But I have, Aaron. You need to scan these tickets today and find out if they've won or not. And if they haven't won... How long has that been since that rug has been moved? Do you think he would have moved it in the pre-holiday claim?

Yeah, well, because I was away. I went first, right? I went to Melbourne and he cleaned the entire house. When I came back, because he's still there, it's spotless. So he's cleaned it. This is a terrible hiding place. Yeah, terrible. Terrible hiding place.

To hide millions of dollars. I don't think it's millions of dollars. Guys, but there is a version. We don't know. There is a version where I'm a millionaire because Aaron stashed these away from me. In this existence of infinity possibilities, there's one where that is the winning ticket.

I think it's a bonus ticket at best, and we'll see you at work tomorrow. No, you won't. No, you won't. This is what I want to ask, if there's anything else like this out there, what have you stashed away from your partner inside your very own home? What are you hiding?

Most of it will be snacks. Yeah, or what have you discovered that your partner has stashed away? As I have discovered, the million dollar ticket under my shag rug. Or what about people discovering their engagement ring? I just read, did you see that article of the woman who found it and hated it? Yeah. And she put it on TikTok and then she like threw the box at me.

I don't know what kind of reaction she was expecting. It was a gold ring with a diamond on it. Yeah. That's what an engagement ring looks like. I'm being wildly ungrateful. Oh, and now the internet's been mean to me.

But yes, what did you hide away? What did you stash away from your partner inside your house? Maybe it's chocolate biscuits. Maybe it's money because you're saving for something. Maybe it's the winning lotto ticket.

We're asking what you stash away from your partner inside your very own house or what you've found that your partner has hidden from you because I've found some lotto tickets. Which you think are worth millions of dollars. I think they're probably worth millions of dollars. And the plan is he won't tell me. He's going to come home from holiday. He's going to cash them in.

And he's going to ditch. Hidden under a rug. Under a rug. Like of all places to hide a lot. Weird place. Anonymous is called. Anonymous, what have you stashed? Is that me?

Yes, that's you, Anonymous. I hear people say that every day. You're like, if I'm ever anonymous, oh no, I'm anonymous. Anonymous! Me? Do you mean Tracy? So I used to live, when I lived with my ex, he's like shorter than me. His head is like up to my ears.

And so I used to put the chocolate on the top shelf of the cupboard where he couldn't even see it. Little fella. Oh, you where he couldn't even see it. What a fellow. I couldn't reach. I mean, he couldn't see it, but he couldn't reach it either even if he could see it. Do you know, I've actually done something similar with Aaron because his eyeline's so much taller. On the top of the

fridge, I dropped some dirt and I've just left it there, but he'll never see it because he's above it. He's too high. It works either way. It does. Amazing anonymous. Thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials it in. What did you stash in your house

from your partner? Sorry, I was just giving my armpits a bit of a whiff there. Is it me? Who smells? It's just I'm going light on the deodorant because I've got the rash in my armpit at the moment. From Bali, the Bali rash. Yeah, I took it off. I took it off my jumper.

Did you use the cream? I realised I left it in Bali with Aaron. So I don't have any hydrocortisone at home. I'll bring you some, Anne. For my butt. I get rashy sometimes. You guys do, yeah. We've got a couple of senses.

Yeah, we've got sensitive skin. Yeah, we're sensitive skin people. The butt's bad, guys. It's getting worse. Well, it's not getting any better. Right. Oh, jeez. And there's going to be a doctor all up in there next week.

Anyway, we're talking about the fact that I'm a millionaire now because I think I've found some winning lotto tickets in my house that apparently Aaron's obviously stashed away. Under a rug. Is he awake now and wherever he is? No, he's in Bali. You can say he's in Bali. It's 2 a.m. in Bali. No, it's 4 a.m. in Bali. Oh, okay. Because you need to find No, he's in Bali. You can say he's in Bali. It's 2am in Bali.

No, it's 4am in Bali. Okay, because you need to find out what he's done here. I know. Or do I? Because he's obviously hiding them from me so he can take the millions away from me and I'll be none the wiser. But I've found the tickets now.

Well, he's just gone to Bali to find the place he wants to buy and live. And run away. That's why he stayed for the extra week. Do you know what you should do? Scan them with the app when you get home and if they're losers,

just get a big red vivid and write loser, loser and then put them back and then wait to see what he does. I could do that. Anyway, I want to hear the stories of other things

that you've stashed from your partner in your house. Sarah, what have you been hiding? Well, I've hidden a really expensive baby stroller in my garage. Ooh. Now, what have you been hiding? Well, I've hidden a really expensive baby stroller in my garage.

Now, do you have a baby? Well, no, I've got grandbabies. Oh, right. I've got grandbabies and I'm an early childhood teacher and I work from home. Okay. So I have a stroller for walking to the park and walking children home.

But I've got a new grandbaby coming, and I wanted the Rolls Royce of strollers. Oh, yeah. I get it. But what about the other grandbabies that bloody go on the Toyota Corolla of baby strollers? No, no, they're done and dusted. The youngest one's seven, so we've got a bit of a gap there.

Right. So I brought this stroller on. I brought it on Marketplace because they're about $1,400, $1,500 a year. And I thought I'd better not go there. Like, you know, I'm really getting growling. So I brought it on Marketplace and I've hidden it in the garage with all the camp chairs. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it just pops in behind there. And so who are you hiding it from? Are you hiding it from your partner? No, I'm hiding it from my husband because he'll go, why do you need this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it just pops in behind the ear. And so who are you hiding it from? Are you hiding it from your partner? No, I'm hiding it from my husband because he'll go, why do you need this? Yeah, yeah. He'll recognise the Rolls Royce. I just want a really, really nice stroller.

Like they just are so... It's going to be hard to raise that grandchild humble though. Oh, yeah. You know, when they come into life with the bling. Yeah, cruise down to the baby swings and the slides and it rolls Royce. Is that yours, is it? Yeah, yeah. That's mine over there.

Amazing, Sarah. Thank you. Some messages in. Someone said, we've got two safes in our house. One is in the cupboard. It's got about $300 cash in it. Yeah. And my wife knows about it.

The other is in the attic. She has no idea it's there. And it's full of all the cash I get for cash jobs I do. And what are you planning on doing there? Is it like fireproof? I would now like to offer you blackmail of you give me some of that cash or I dub you into the IRD.

Yeah. For doing cash jobs. We'll get your phone number. We're doing cashies. I'll take just less than what they'll demand of that cash. Yeah, yeah. Somebody said that they did this. They would hide things around the house just to see if their partner,

when they said they'd cleaned the house really well, had actually cleaned the house really well. Oh, my God, he's testing my cleaning. He's testing your cleaning. Because he knows I'm a rubbish cleaner. Yeah. This is why you need to check the tickets, write loser on them, and then wait for him.

Okay. Okay, yeah. Someone said, my partner despised Bougie. You know the Bougie mix? Yeah. Bougie mix. I'm with them. It's disgusting. It's gross. It's gross. It's yuck. Wow. Okay. I hid my ciggies in there.

Because I knew they'd never go into the Bougie. It's like the trick of hiding chocolates in like mixed veg in the freezer. Yeah, right, in a salad bag. Anonymous writes, I would like to remain anonymous. Cheeky smiling face. I have a stash of adult fun toys that my husband has no idea about.

They only come out when I've got the house to myself. Oh, okay. Good for you, Anonymous. Yeah. Dear, I'd like to say he'd like to see your tool collection. Maybe, but some are for sharing, some are for not. Right. Well, he doesn'd like to see your tool collection. Well, maybe, but summer for sharing, summer for not. Right. Well, he doesn't need to be intimidated by it.

Maybe he does. We don't know. This is all anonymous. Yeah, true. Maybe he is. Good for you. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. There's a trend, a workplace trend online that if you work in an office and just want to be left alone, this could be for you.

If you are easily distracted and you can recognise that you are easily distracted, so it's best to avoid distractions. Chit chats. This could be for you. Coffee breaks. Yeah. So this is from Australia, although you can get these around the world.

They're little LED flags. Oh, cute. Yeah. So you put the little flag up on the corner of your computer. It comes with a little adhesive flagpole and you put it on and you can change the colour of the flag. Green.

In this case, at this workplace, Tiny Hearts Education, Nikki has said she has green means yes. Come and chat. I'm free to chat. I'm working on something, but I have the time to chat. Orange or yellow. I think it's yellow, but she's labelled it orange. Can chat if it's important, but otherwise

concentrating on work. Red, need to focus. Chat later. Do not disturb, basically. Yeah, and it's on the computer, so you don't just rock up to someone who's in the middle of something. Yeah. And apparently these little LED flags,

you can just, yeah, you push a button and it changes colour. Do you know what the problem with this is though? You put it on and you go, right, I get easily distracted by conversation. I'm going to put this flag on and turn it on to red and then everyone's going to come and be like, what's that cute little flag? You'll be like, oh my god, you should have a look at these. They're really great. And then you start

on this conversation and you're distracted. Not if it's on red. I'm imagining when you buy the LED, you announce that there's some sort of email or in this conversation and you're distracted. Not if it's on red. But how do they know? They don't know. I'm imagining when you buy the LED, you announce it. There's some sort of email or a portion of the staff meeting. Just on the market, you can buy, there's so many different kinds of these lights, and it looks like they just clip onto the dividers on your desk,

you know, the wall dividers. Oh, yeah, or your laptop. Yeah, or your computer screen. There's one for $103, and that does the three different colours. That's expensive. This exact one that she's using, a Luxifor flag, I just Googled it, LED USB busy light indicator, $137 New Zealand dollars.

I mean, you're not buying this yourself, are you? If your work's going to pay fine, but... This feels like an item you'd buy at Look Sharp or like AliExpress or something. Big J-Car electronics energy. It does, yeah. Big sort of like at the checkout of Harvey Norman. Bargain bin. Yeah, where you

pick out a USB charger for your car or a screen wipe. It's a stuffing stocker. A stocking stuffer. A stocking stuffer. A stuffing stocker. A stocking stuffer. A stocking stuffer, yeah.

I feel, though, if you're working on a project, and say, for example, I need to ask you a question, Vaughan, and I mean, I could email it to you, but you've got your red light on, but it's just going to take me two seconds to say, hey, who's the supplier of this? You could just tell me. My red light's on. You've dishonoured the system.

But then it's going to take me ages to run an email to you saying that. And you might not reply. Well, I won't reply because I've got my red light on. I'm working on my own thing. He's working on his own thing. Right. But I could literally just ask you about it. Just tell me.

No, don't approach it. Do your own work. But what if I approached you and asked a question with your red light on? I would ignore it. I would point to the red light. I'd say, I'm really sorry. I know a question with your red light on? I would ignore it. I would point to the red light. I'd say, I'm really sorry. I know you've got your red light on.

This won't take a second. It's already taken more than a second. Who's the supplier of whatever? And I'd point at the red light. I'd look at you, and rather take the time than answer, I'd point at the red light. You wouldn't just tell me. You absolutely would. You wouldn't just tell me.

Of course not. You've got to respect the light. But what if you abused the light, the red light situation, and you never put it on green? Then he's having a very successful work day. I'm really, really busy. Okay, right. When did I see, speaking of like things in the office,

some guy had invented a thing, you sit your mouse in it, and it scrolls. Yeah. So it's got, how would I describe this, shape. It's sort of like rectangular, but it's got a high side. So you put your mouse in it and your mouse can't escape. Like your mouse can ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong around inside it. But it's small.

It sits on your desk. So these people, they would get the job done for these clients. But some places have like timesheets. You've got to be like, okay, now I'm working on the Wilson project. Click. And then it starts ticking up how long you're working on the Wilson project and what you're doing. And so when you're done, say Wilson project only took 40 minutes,

but you charge them for the hour. You put the mouse on this thing and you press go, and this thing moves underneath the mouse. So it looks like you're moving. So it looks like you're doing work. Yeah, so it's active. You're actively contributing to the Wilson thing. And then you can send them the hours

worked on the project. It's like, oh yeah, look, he was ferociously moving his mouse. Why don't you just put your sellotape, your mouse pad onto a train set? Why don't you put your mouse on your cat? A wireless mouse? Yes, on your cat's collar. And let it run around.

Because it won't track. It's going to be moving directly under the mouse. That's why this three-dimensional. No, you put the mouse pad on the cat. And then sellotape the mouse on the mouse pad. No, because then it's not moving enough on the mouse pad. It'll move a little. This is like a treadmill for your mouse.

Right. So it's really ticking up the case. Of the amount of screen movement you're getting. Because that's how some workplaces monitor that you're working from home. It's just mouth movement. Or just that your laptop or your computer's active. I just keep walking past going, ah. Yeah, but if you miss one and it goes on screensaver or is inactive. I was having a number twos.

They can't begrudge you that. They can't begrudge was having a number twos. They can't begrudge you that. They can't begrudge you for a number twos. No, they can't. They're not going to ask you to take the laptop into the toilet to prove that you're doing number twos. No, you can't hold it in. It's terrible for your bowels. Yeah, because trust me,

from a guy who has sent around a photo of his number twos to the workplace, people take a big issue with that. All I wanted to say was isn't it amazing it all came out as one? Because you're not going to believe me when I tell you the story. I know, it didn't break up. It didn't break up. It's always amazing when that happens.

Yeah. Tomorrow on the show, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield joins us. I just want to give this a mention now because it's his last, he's got another week left in the job. One more week. And we're going to find out, he's got another week left in the job. One more week. And we're going to find out if he's actually listened to Hayley's version.

Oh, my God, I hope so. We did send it to him. Goodbye, my brother. Goodbye, brother. So we'll chat to him tomorrow on the show. So give our thanks. I know. Yeah.

What a guy. We need to talk about Stray. It's everywhere. My brother's playing it. Yeah. The new PlayStation game. Do you know of this PlayStation correspondent, Vaughn Smith? Yes, yes, yes.

I'm very well aware of this game where you play a stray cat. Right up there with, there was a game where you played a vengeful goose. And a game where you played an angry goat. Are we out of game ideas? I think we've just tapped into a new exciting realm of games, to be totally honest. I saw one the other day online. It was Power Wash Simulator.

Yes. Because I love watching like when they clean a rug. I love a rug wash. Or like when they power wash a driveway, the concrete. I love watching those videos. On that Power Wash Simulator, there's a level where you power wash the Mars rover. Holy, get it nice and shiny.

Yeah, I don't know where on Mars there's a hose attachment for you to get the old catch or water blaster charging up from. But yeah. You could literally go and clean something actually in real life. But it's not that easy, is it? You've got to get the water blaster. You've got to get one with high enough pressure that it's actually going to do that.

Right. You might not have dirty concrete. So now you can do that. And so how does stray work? So it's a lost cat, right? You're a stray cat. You're a stray cat and you're just doing a series of tasks. Trying to find your way back to your pack.

You've got a little backpack on. Right. Yeah, and it's free on PlayStation Plus at the moment. If you've got PlayStation Plus, you can download the free stray and play it. Well, they're saying that it's not. And everyone's saying it's amazing. Everyone's saying it's free on PlayStation Plus at the moment. If you've got PlayStation Plus, you can download the free Australian player. Well, they're saying that it's not. And everyone's saying it's amazing. Everyone's saying it's amazing. It's so much fun.

My brother's a big PlayStation guy, so I'm playing it last night. But everyone is saying that the cats are loving it too. The cats have gone absolutely crazy for it. They're up against the TVs being like, meow. Yeah. Because the cats are running around and then the owners are controlling the cats. Realistic cat sounds, drawing them in. Right.

There's another game as well. Karwen at the social media desk was talking about a game. I think it's on Switch. What was the game? Unpack. Unpacking. Unpacking. What do you do?

Oh, my God. This is getting ridiculous. I think you get home from holiday and you unpack your suitcase on the same day you came. I did that last night. Are you kidding me? It's so much fun. Wait, you unpack things? Like boxes. Like boxes.

Like boxes. Yeah, boxes of stuff. So it could be like a girlfriend moving in with her partner or you've moved into a new house and you have to find the right spot for the item. So is it a first person? Like you're seeing it through their eyes and you open the box and then you're like, oh, my book.

No, it's more like bird's eye view-ish. You're not a person. Like the Sims. You just see the bird. Can I ask, how often are you playing this game? Just when I feel stressed, you know? What happens if you put the book in a silly place? It doesn't let you.

So if you go, I can't put the book in the sink. Can I ask, ask though is there anything at your house that needs unpacking or tidying that you could do in real life while you're

instead of playing this game? Or when you're stressed just go to Pack and Save grab a box for free put some stuff in it and then put it back where it belongs No it's so much

comfier to just sit in my oodie in bed and play it You can wear your oodie while you do it. That's a good play. Dress codes are pretty low at Pack and Say. I mean, you simulate farm, but you've got a real farm.

Yeah, but I don't have a half a million dollar tractor. That's the cool thing about this game. Oh, my God. And you're like, oh, I wonder what it's like to do some logging. Yeah. Yeah, you know, the bloody red tape involved in cutting down some pine trees and running them through a mill. It's through the roof, Hayley. So much red tape. Let cutting down some pine trees and running them through a mill? It's through the roof, Hayley.

It's a bunch of red tape. Let a man cut down trees and run them through a mill. You love to cut down a tree, don't you? I love blades. Big timber? Oh, I love big timber. If there was a big timber video game, I would. That's what I was just thinking.

A big timber video game. It's one of the most watched shows in New Zealand on Netflix this week. I saw you said yesterday it was up to four and last night I saw it was up to like two. Go and make it. Go and make this game.

There will already be one. There'll be a logging game. There'll be being like a careers thing that we went to for work and there was a logging simulator. Oh, like a virtual reality thing. Like a flying simulator, yeah.

Because the lawn mowing game's out now. It's called Forestry 2017. It's the simulation flying simulator, yeah. Because the lawn mowing game's out now. It's called Forestry 2017. It's the simulation game on PlayStation. Forestry 2017. There's so many simulation games, like the farming, the log. There's Lumberjack's Dynasty. Oh, mate, have a great weekend. I might pop off now.

Play ZN's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Firstly, I would like to thank MassiveSci.com This stands for MassiveScience.com. Okay. Because I didn't even know this until now, and I feel like it passed, and it really should have been acknowledged at the time. Last September for them was butt month,

and every day they had scientific stories about the butt. Oh, okay. And so this is one of these facts about the butt. Okay. It's about the anus of the comb jellyfish. What's a comb jellyfish? The warty comb jellyfish. The warty comb.

A comb jelly is, it doesn't have long tentacles dangling behind it. Oh, that's real pretty. Yeah, that's under a UV light. It becomes sort of bioluminescent. Because have you seen people getting fish tanks with jellyfish and they put put those lights in and they look so cool? Yeah.

Do they? I hate jellyfish. You look like a pimp. If you've got a big ass fish tank in your house, you look like a gigolo. That's because they've been portrayed like that on movies, right? What was that stupid movie with Rob Schneider? Bigelow male gigolo. And he had a giant fish tank.

And he had the lion fish, that giant fish. By their problem, they're a very invasive pest, but we're here to talk about the walk-home jellyfish because it is the only animal that we are currently aware of with a disappearing anus. Wow. Oh, is it like a hatch, like a submarine periscope? Does it just go back in?

Suck in. It doesn't. It's called a transient anus. Okay. And it pops up at different places on the body, the most convenient spot to it at the time of passing. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Imagine you're out on a date

and suddenly your anus pops up on your face. Yeah. And it starts opening and someone's like, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And you've got to rush to the bathroom. And poop out of your forehead. Yeah, right. But it's just like wherever is most convenient for it at the time.

It's this amazing evolutionary. An amazing anus. It is an amazing anus. Does the jellyfish get to choose where the transient anus pops out? No, jellyfishes don't have a, you know, they're not a conscious being like us that can think, oh no, not the arm. Not the armpit. I don't want to poop out of the armpit.

It's going to be embarrassing. God, and what a wipe that would be. Remember the time in, yeah. Do I go up? Do I go down? It's too close to the face. It's your wiping up towards the face. You'd be forever wiping.

But that time in Cambodia or in Asia with the squat toilets, you could just do it at your foot. Bingo. That'd be so much handier. But then they don't know that. Not handy if it's on your chest. Well, they believe. But they didn't even know that they did this until 2019.

Oh, shoot. Yes. I thought we knew everything about the world. They knew of the comb jelly from like the 1850s. Bless you, by the way. That's three seasons. That's halfway to an orgasm. I thought that was an orgasm.

Eight. Eight or something. You're just under. Oh, that was a three-season cough. Three seasons and a cough. I believe that's the equivalent. It's not COVID. It's not COVID.

He's done it. That's the equivalent. You are due for your second bout, though. Oh, no, I don't want it. So we've known about comb jellies for ages. They're a different sort of jellyfish. And they knew that it disappeared. Yeah.

Like they'd be like, oh, this doesn't appear to have a permanent anus. Yeah. And it would pass its waist and then it would completely disappear. And they'd be like, where'd it go? But then they've noticed it also is transient. It can move around. That is fascinating. Isn't it fascinating?

Okay, if your anus had to be somewhere else on your body, where would you want it to go? Wait, but you're saying this would be permanent? Yeah. Ours isn't transient. You've got to pick a new spot for the anus. It's the perfect spot, isn't it? Only because everything has been designed around it.

Yeah, we believe it is because, like, toilets have been designed because that's where it is. We sit. And we've evolved. You know, that's there. So we've evolved the situation. I sometimes get thinking about stuff like this

and I get carried away and then I'll look up and I'll realise how infinite space is. Oh, yeah. Get a little bit freaked out. What about like just above the wrist? Like the Ross, you're talking about where the Ross, you're talking where the watch sits. Yeah, where the watch sits. Like a Spider-Man.

Like a Spider-Man. Yeah, so that way you can cover it with a sleeve or a watch. And then it's super handy. You can just be like, poopies. And then wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe. Yeah. Under the tap. Super easy to wash.

Yeah. And then boom, done. I think that's the perfect spot. It's like a Spidey power. Yeah. More crap. Yeah. I mean, where are you going to choose?

You asked the question. Don't laugh at me for providing an answer. Yeah, tip of the toe. Tip of the toe. Tip of the toe. Yeah. No, because stub your toe and you'll know about it. But you guys have also got to think everything's got to get down there.

You know, we don't see it all happening inside because the colon and everything's all, like, curled around. If it was in your wrist, you'd see it coming down your arm. What about your belly button? How inconvenient would that be? That's the worst place for it. Yeah, you'd have to lie down. Flat on something.

Or maybe, what if it's on your belly button, but we have little vacuums and walls. Yes. And you just lift your top up and you push against it and it sucks it out of your belly button. But what if it sucks too much? You get a prolapse. You get a prolapse.

I think we do have them in the perfect place, don't we? But then, you know people, what are those bags called? Colostomy bags. Colostomy bags. Where does that come out? That comes out of the front. The side. The side, right?

They redirect that and it comes out the side. Yeah. Which isn't too far a stretch from the front. I don't know. And that is what a colostomy bag, it kind of fills up the empty, right? Yeah, and it's connected straight there. Yeah, anyway. Well, lucky we're not a water comb jelly. The Spider-Man on the there. Yeah, anyway. Well, lucky we're not a warty comb jelly.

The Spider-Man on the rest. Yeah. Because you'd be like, oh, you'd be halfway through this voice break and you'd be like, I'm going to come at your neck or something. That'd be horrible. So today's fact of the day is the warty comb jellyfish not only has a disappearing anus, but also a transient one. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, Do it, not the murder. Don't play it, I get it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I'm going to say her name wrong.

Miriam Margolis. Margoyles. Margoyles. I was giving it too much flair. She's an actress that's been in many things, including Harry Potter. She in Harry Potter? Professor Sprout in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Correct. If you don't know the name, you know her. Yeah. 74-year-old actress. 81-year-old actress. Oh. I've got. Oh, no, he's 74.

She's 81. Yeah, Arnold, because she's the one that's called out Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger for some on-set antics. Is he 74? I know, that's why I said she was 74. Oh, wow. He looks like a leather purse, eh? Well, a lot of bodybuilding, sunning.

A lot of roids. Yeah, roids. A lot of tanning beds. Cigar loves a cigar, too. Yeah, God, yeah. He loves a stogie. Okay. So when they were filming a horror film, one I've never heard of before, End of Days, in 1999,

she was on a podcast talking about this experience of working with him him and she said, I didn't care for him. He's very full of himself and he farted in my face. She said, now I fart, of course I do,

but I don't fart in people's faces. He deliberately farted right in my face. She then said that she was playing Satan's sister, of course. As you do. A coveted role.

A role all female actresses. Biazo Babina. Yeah, Biazo Babina. The sister of Satan. And he was killing her in his character. And he had her in a position where she couldn't escape and she was lying on the floor. And then as he sort of moved his butt past her face to get off her, he just popped a fart. Now, is she saying it was a deliberate act?

Yeah. Oh, wow. She said they were rehearsing. It wasn't on film. Right. It was in a pause. And she said, but I've never forgiven him. Because this is all I saw online on the entertainment sites yesterday

was this story. Like, he is absolutely going to have to say something about this. Yeah, and on the headlines, you're like, ah, ha, ha, ha. But then you read it, and she actually really does not like this. Yeah, and on the headlines you're like, ah, ha, ha, ha. But then you read it and she actually really does not like him. Oh yeah, it's not her being like, oh bloody hell, he farted in my face. She's like, no, it was the rudest thing. Yeah, like it was deliberate.

She was like, I absolutely can't stand the guy. How arrogant, he farted in my face. Gross. Yeah. I've never, I don't think I've had a direct fart in the face. Is that up there with a co-worker that puts tuna in the microwave or reheats fish at lunchtime? Well, that affects more people for a longer time too.

Yeah, it does. Farts dissipate far quicker than a reheated fish. That's Georgia Burt, remember? She was banned from the workplace. She's been banned from the microwave, yeah. For tuna fish in the workplace. Tuna crimes. That's gross.

That's gross. This is what we want to know. If you've got a co-worker who's got a gross habit or has done something so gross, I mean maybe we'll stay away from, you know, the Me Too stuff. More your farts and your tuna. Yeah, yeah. More of

your smells and your habits. Maybe you work in an office and you've got burpers or farters or nose pickers. Or butt crackers. Or B.O.ers. Yeah, or a B.O.er or someone who kind of comes up and tells you a grotty little joke. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, let's take your calls. 0800 DALESATM. You can give us a call. You can text in 9696. Okay. Jared, we're going to share this one when we come back from the break.

That's gross. What is your gross co-worker's habit? All right, give us a call. Want to know about your gross co-worker's habits? An actress has spilled the beans on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, saying he farted in her face. And it's funny. Honestly, it's still funny to me.

Farts are funny. Farts will always be funny. But she's not laughing. No. She's not. 23 years later, she's not laughing. No. 23 years later, she's not laughing. God, he'd bloody whack a protein bar or two as well.

He'd be gross. We're still bodybuilding. Have you ever walked into the gym changing rooms and someone's done a protein poo? It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. You can almost taste the grit

when you walk in So I want to know your gross Coworker habits and messages in Two coworkers lick their fingers When they touch paper all the time It's really ew All the hand sanitiser gets used Because they're still licking before they

Flick the paper You've licked the paper so it's all Very much Somebody said we've got Before they flip the paper and we're all like, you've licked the paper, so it's all very much. Somebody said, we've got somebody who will pop a can of sardines at their desk and eat it with a fork. Oh, no, no, no, no. Sardines are one of the worst ones. That's to eat in a park on your lunch break away from people. You must eat sardines.

I was going to say, if I walked past somebody in a park eating sardines, I would think that was very unusual as well. Can we cross over to producer Jared, who shared something in the group chat? What was this? One of my ex-colleagues at a former station, you used to go into the producer's studio after them and move the keyboard and just see those cotton earbud swabs. Ooh, that had earwax on them? Yeah, they were gold.

Yeah! The occasional toothpick. Oh, it was rough. Oh, mate. I'm so sorry. Oh, that's for the bathroom. But while we're on there, how good is getting in there? I know you don't spice it, but yeah.

I go deep. I go deep. I go deep. And all of a sudden my ear's like... Give the brain a tickle. Yeah. We're talking about your gross co-workers' habits. Or your co-workers' gross habits.

Yeah. They might be lovely and not gross. It's just the one habit or two. We just do one thing that's gross. Arnold Schwarzenegger farts in faces. This we know to be true. Well, yeah. People are gross.

I will say, hand on heart, you guys are not gross. Thank you. Oh, actually, your manky is. You put your tissues. You put your snot on. There it is right there behind him. He blows his nose all show, and he puts it in his bowl of leftover milk from his cereal.

Fletch has way too much milk in his cereal. I like it running. I love it running. And then he just sees pushing tissues into it all the time. Yeah, and the tissue's soaking up, so in the bin it's not liquidy. Oh. It makes me feel sick. I take that back.

You're feral. Vaughn, you're not gross. Thanks. Vaughn is gross. He does the worst farts. Yeah, but so do I. We all fart. Okay.

That is poor behaviour from you. We have had a couple of anonymous callers. Our first anonymous caller, good morning. What's the gross habit from a co-worker? Oh, my old boss, he used to have the pen tops with the long bit and the pointy bit on the end, and he used to stick them in, rake it in there, trying to get out all he could. Oh, yuck.

Now, I've got to ask, are you a former employer of Pioneer Finance, the company my father was a boss of? Because this is a massive thing. He used to pin his ears as well. He'd always shove pins in them. But this is like really raking in there to, oh, it's gross. She's quivering at the thought.

I used to work with someone who would chew the ends of all the pins, and then I would be on air and need a pin, so I'd go out and get one, and touch the end of it, and sometimes it'd be a little moist. Oh, moist. It was disgusting. Oh, gross. And then they put it in their ears. Thank you, Anonymous.

Another Anonymous caller joins us. Anonymous 2, what was the co-worker's gross habit? She gets a bag of hot chips every day for her lunch and sits in the office. Yum. Yeah, yum. Sits in the office around us all, stinking away with her hot chips and I've got nothing against hot chips every day for her lunch and sits in the office. Yeah, yum. Sits in the office like around us all stinking away with her hot chips

and I've got nothing against hot chips but she wipes her hands with the greasy fingers all over her chair. Oh! So her chair's going to be dirtier than just eating with the fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The chair must have a white,

does it have a film of fat? It sure does. Oh! Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck. Someone came into our office recently and they were like, pull up a chair, and they went to pull up the chair. We're like, you know what, I'm not going to pull up this chair. Not that one, not that one. Oh, thank you, Anonymous.

Ben, what's the co-worker's gross habit? Hey, mate, we've got this guy at work and he cuts his fingernails at his desk. No, no, no. Oh, no. That's a... No, not me. Just makes me feel sick even hearing the noise. Clack, clack, clack.

The click of a clack, clack, clack. And then where do the nails go? Does he put them on his desk? I don't know. I don't even want to be close when it's making that noise. That's a do-it-home. Do you know what he does? He gathers them up and he puts them on the plate that he's left as kiwi fruit or as banana skin on

or something and then you go and he washes it but it's always there, isn't it? It's in the sink, isn't it? Yeah. I hope it's only the fingers and not the toes. Ben, thanks for your call. How's that text machine going for you, Vaughan? That's yuck. One guy in our office is called Stinky Pete because he does farts

and everybody leaves the office, but he thinks he's getting away with it. But he's not. Oh, they don't call him out. They just sort of silently leave. Yeah. Oh, no. He needs to lay off the FODMAPs. A co-worker came back from Italy.

This is in regards, because I said about the people eating the sardines at the desk. Someone said a co-worker came back from Italy and said they'd just discovered anchovies and would eat anchovies at their desk. No, no, no. The smelliest of all the little fishes.

Anchovies is an ingredient, not a snack. It's how you make the best sauce, right? Great sauce, great in a pasta. Yeah, maybe as a pizza decoration. Yeah. Maybe. Not eat at the desk. That's smelly and you're gross.

I work with a guy that's got one very long pinky nail. Like the sort of thing you think is for drugs. But he uses it to scoop his earwax out and then wipe on his office chair. When he finally left work, his chair was covered in earwax. They tried cleaning it, but it couldn't get it out, so we just had to biff the chair. Oh, it's like the crazy chips lady. Crazy chips fingers. Yeah.

Old chips fingers, too. Someone said they're not really a workmate, but I'm an Uber driver, and when I'm giving my Uber its daily vacuum. Can I just stop and say I appreciate that you give it the daily vacuum? Yeah, it's so nice to get into. Five stars. Five stars for you.

Five stars. The most common thing I find on the floor in the back is nails, both finger and toe. Oh, what people are just like, oh. Sitting there chewing, picking, spitting. And those are hard to get out with a vacuum cleaner because sometimes the nail embeds in the hair of the fibre of the. I recently found one of my fingernails in a jacket pocket

and I remember that I was like out somewhere and my nail broke and I didn't want to like fling it around. So I put it in my pocket. You're disgusting. Yeah. And then it stayed in your pocket for a while. And it stayed in there until I put my hands in my pocket. I was like, what's that?

What's that? It's a nail. It's my fingernail. Grim. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.