ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st June 2022

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

Top 6: Big Gay EnergySilly Little Poll - Warm wash or cold wash clothes?Fastest Fish and Chip WrapperWhen did a pickup line work?Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Fawn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab a rich,

smooth barista made coffee. I don't want to start the podcast off negatively, badly. Okay. With a sad tone, but I do have some bad news. Right. Is it one of your ailments again? No, no, no. Well, maybe.

Is it confirmed type 2? It's not confirmed type 2. Vaughan thinks he's got everything wrong with him. I agree with him. I think he does. I've got a lot I've got a lot going on and Hayley

you're a bloody hypochondriac as well you're demanding a full brain scan from your doctor yeah well I've had knee tingles for 6 months that's MS

there's simply no other answers nothing else could possibly be right because you've googled and that's it yeah

so my bad news is outside of my own body there's been a the smith beehive has collapsed there's been an invasion the Smith beehive has collapsed. There's been an invasion. Oh my God, you've had a colony collapse.

This is no laughing matter. I've had a colony collapse. What? How? What happened? So you'll remember and you all benefited personally from the plentiful bounty

of the Smith honey hive. I'm nearly out. I'm nearly out. The granola that I made and so lovingly enjoyed while on air and you'll hear me chewing it in the podcast.

Yeah, I don't have the time code for that chewing, but it really was a... You hear it. It all gets stuck. I put a bit of your honey in there. Well, the good news is, there is some good news, is that there's more honey. Oh, yeah, great. There's more honey.

But this is the bad news, that there's a hive collapse. So we took the honey out. We spun it. All the comb and everything was in good condition, so I went back into the box. Yep. However, the smell of the honey attracted Bees from a more dominant hive A dom

A dom came in My hive, not at all like real life As I am very dominant I was submissive A bigger hive came in And we knew this about the queen Queen Latifah we called her She was very chilled

You didn't even need to smoke them out I never got stung once by them We knew this about the queen, Queen Latifah, we called her. Yeah. She was very chilled. Like, you didn't even need to smoke them out. I never got stung once by them. She was a chill queen. Yeah. So her bees were chill, but that did mean when there was an invading force of aggressive bees. They rolled over. They were too busy bloody smoking a fat doobie in the back. Yeah.

Did you notice? They were rolled. They were rolled. So they basically robbed the hive. Bees just are like, don't worry with the pollen. These guys have done all the hard work. They're Vikings. They come in on their boat. They steal all the They were rolled. So they basically robbed the hive. Bees just are like, don't worry about the pollen. These guys have done all the hard work. They're Vikings. They come in on their boat.

They steal all the honey. Right. And then the bees starve because it's getting colder. Yeah. All their little, because, you know, when they die, they're constantly replenished by the bees that hatch. Yeah. But there's no food to feed the bees that hatch.

So they die. They die in their cells. They die in the thing. When we took it out, they were dead bees All in the bottom of the hive Oh gosh The queen didn't die though Chances are She was just like

Let's get out of here She's in her escape pod Is she gone to another hive? Oh my god She didn't go down with the ship No She abandoned her people No no

She would have taken A whole lot of them with her But the dead and dying ones That were behind Didn't have the energy to So They're like So no honey puffs from them.

Yeah. No. From me and you. How does the song go? Honey puffs are made to stay fresh, stay good, stay something all the time. Keep searching for the honey, honey bees. Honey puffs are yours and mine. Thanks, honey pups.

Imagine the marketing if they'd used all those dead bees. Yeah. Honey pups are... Oh, my God! This wouldn't have happened with cornflakes! Oh, the bee-manity! Happy shortest day of the year. Isn't it...

Doesn't that mean we're in the thick of winter? Yeah. It's not that cold.'re in the thick of winter? Yeah. It's not that cold. It's the solstice. I mean, it's cold this morning. It is cold this morning, but it's not like winter cold. It's always colder after the solstice, though. It's like some of the hottest days are after the longest day.

Yeah. That's when it all starts to turn. I am rocking a scarf today. Plant your garlic today. Oh, really? It's always the thing, isn't it? On the shortest day, you plant your garlic. Don't be so silly.

And then it's ready by the longest day. Go to the supermarket and get one of those pottles of crushed garlic. Nobody's got time today. Oh, you trash. No, you've got to go to the... Nobody has time to be peeling garlic. The PRC, which stands for the People's Republic of China. Oh, yeah.

With their bleached garlic because it's grown in human waste. I was literally about to say, go to the Asian grocer and buy that peeled, the full cloves of peeled vacuum packed. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't buy, don't buy. Pre-crushed. It's the way to go. It's the way to go.

It's the way to go. You can taste it a mile away. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We are getting used to shortages. We are. Aren't we? And waiting for things. Truly, is there anything in abundance at the moment?

Anything they're just like, God, we can't get rid of the things. Kiwi fruit? Yeah, God, you've lost those. No, because you've got to get the pickers. You've got to get the pickers. Oh, you've got to get the pickers. You've got to get the pickers. Oh, you've got to get the pickers. So, no, there's not. There's nothing.

Abundance of those on the ground or on the vines. Abundance of anxiety of living in 2022. Good fun. I don't think there is an abundance of anything. Well, here's another one to add to the list. Tegel and also the Brewers Association and Beverage Council. Now I love chicken and I love booze.

Chicken and booze. They have both separately voiced concerns about the shortage of CO2. The gas. What's that got to do with chickens? Quick. Quick, go. Plug me in. Push out more than you take in.

I didn't know this, but Tegel, the reason they've warned that there may be some shortage of chicken products is because they must somehow squeeze or use carbon dioxide to make chicken last longer. So in the factory, in the processing, I don't know, did they just squirt it into it? No, they put their mouth to the orifice of the chicken and just go. And then it makes it. It preserves it. It gives it an extra two weeks. Yeah, Dave,

Dave just breathes into it. So yeah, so some chicken products, it's also used with cheese, preserved meats, sparkling wine, ready to eat meals. These are all the things I love. They could also suffer, and there could be price rises of those things. Now, New Zealand used to get its carbon dioxide for the food industry from... Russia. Marsden Point Oil Refinery, but that's been closed down. It can be imported. The only other place in New Zealand that's making it is the... Let's guess.

Te Waila Milne, it doesn't matter. No. My home region. Oh, yeah, the gas fields. There's a gas field, the Todd Energy Karpuni gas field. But that production plant, which was built in 1969, is planned maintenance through till the end of mid-August. Yikes.

So they're not producing much. So you're telling me get a couple of them SodaStream bottles? Oh my God, my SodaStream bottles. I won't survive without. Get some canisters. Get some canisters. A couple of backups. Yeah, because I know that this has been a problem overseas as well

for some countries. But yeah, stocks are quite getting like only half of the orders of their CO2. So a lot of places are going to be without. And there will be more gaps on the supermarket shelves. Where are we at with helium? In the coming months. And that was in short supply, right? I mean, for years it's been.

We're just straight up running it. Yeah, I know. And every time I see a helium balloon, I'm like, wasteful. What a waste. Because there's a finite amount, right? Like that's it. Once we use it, there's no more. There's no more helium. Also, wine,

sparkling wine. My Prosecco. Oh, God. Does sparkling wine naturally ferment? But that's overseas. That's made overseas. It's not an international shortage. It's delayed on a ship as well. Oh, God. God, I have to go to Jim Beam or something. God, that's a big jump.

How did you get to there? That is a big jump. That's at least a five-stage booze downgrade to get from that organic... Yeah. You didn't even jump to a salve first. You just went straight from Prosecco to Jim Beam. I look like a bubbly rosé or anything.

Now, you may have heard already of Dr. Irwin. She is the TikTok doctor. So, not to be trusted. TikTok-ter. The TikTok-ter. Right. Who told us that you shouldn't pee in the shower because it makes you associate going to the toilet with being in water

right or being near water alright too late I've already done wheeze on hydroslides pools the ocean

makes it more slippery boy lining up for hydroslides you get so busting for wheeze and then you get on it and you're like no I was

no you it's all swishing it's all swishing around it's chlorinated boy you get out not as an adult but when I was a kid yeah totally you just oh yeah my god not as an adult No, you don't. It's all swishing. It's all swishing around. Yeah, it's chlorinated. Boy, you get out at the bottom. Not as an adult, but when I was a kid, yeah, totally.

You just. Oh, yeah, my God. Not as an adult. No. What are you going to do? Pull your togs off and go back down the slide? Yeah, no, no, no. You're in a body of water.

Anyway, this very Tik Tokter has said that women who sit down to wee are doing it wrong. How? Can you do it wrong? So if you sit down in the loo, then usually you just sit up. So wait, guys, it's not the same. Because we stand.

No, yeah, Willie... But what about sometimes if it's like two in the morning and I need a man away, I'll sit down because I don't want to turn the light on. Yeah, but then you're changing the shape of your track so that you're different. Right, okay. This is about the track.

Okay. The ureth. Yeah. So you sit down and then usually you just sit there and go for a little wheeze. Yeah. And then wipey-wipey, flush, wash your hands, leave. But apparently that's not right because the way that we're shaped,

you're not actually emptying your bladder by sitting that way. So the way you're supposed to, she says, is like a cowboy, is to lean forward. Kind of what, do you straddle the toilet like a horse? You can sit on it backwards, yeah. No. Put your hands up above your head. No, you like sit normally with your feet on the ground. Do you straddle the toilet like a horse? You can sit on it backwards, yeah. Put your hands up above your head.

No, you sit normally with your feet on the ground, but then you lean forward like a cool cowboy in a western. Well, that's kind of... With your elbows on your knees. Pre-toilet, that's how humidity would have done a squat where you're right. That's how you do it on a Friday night. Yeah, in a bush outside BP. See, that's how you're supposed to do it. And then you're actually emptying your bladder, which will make you pee less.

Right. Because it's empty. So next time you're on the toilet, see if it works. You've got to sit forward, lean and just chill. Right. And what? Chill, don't push. Don't push. Don't squeeze? Don't squeeze or push. Don't squeeze? I'm such a pusher. I'm always short on time.

I'm just like. I push. I thought everybody pushed. No, no, no, no, no, no. Trickle, trickle, trickle. You just relax and let it go. You just let it go, don't you? You just got to relax.

There's time, man. There's time for you to have a wee in the day. Should I squeeze while urinating? I'm going to Google it. Well, I wouldn't think so. No, you just got to release. I don't squeeze hard, but I do squeeze. Sometimes we only have a two and a half minute song. So I so. No, you've just got to release. I don't squeeze hard, but I do squeeze. Sometimes we only have a two and a half minute song.

So I'll push. So you've just got to be in and out. That's when you can hear it. Someone in the cubicle is next to you. It's like, jeepers, Christ. You shouldn't have to use your muscles to force urine. A healthy bladder works best if a body just relaxes so that the bladder muscles naturally contract

to let the urine flow rather than using the abdominal. I don't use abdominal muscles. I'm not like... I'm not like. You're not crunching. Squeeze. That's not a crunch. Bearing down. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hi there. Today's Top Six dealing with the fact that in Pride Month

there has been official raids by Saudi Arabian officials in their country banning and confiscating countless colourful kids' toys, clothing and accessories in a brutal crackdown against homosexuality. Seizing piles of rainbow coloured toys, hair accessories,

backpacks and even crayons. Which... Is this in Saudi Arabia? Yeah. Yeah. They're the most conservative of the UAE. Crayons? Yeah, it's ridiculous, isn't it? Crayons?

Crayons are very gay, let's be honest. Gayer than pencils? Much gayer than pencils. Much gayer than pencils. In fact, if you ask most gay men, when did you know, they say it was when I was using crayons. When I first picked up a crayon. Oh, really?

Popped the top on that Crayola box. Yeah. Saw the rainbow of tips and just wanted them all. Just triggered. Absolutely triggered. This is the life for me. Give them a good whiff. So just men then.

Yeah. What about lesbians? Any Crayola connections? Nah, lesbians got a big felt energy. Yeah, they do. Lesbians love felt smell. A big Faber-Castell. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can got a big felt energy. Yeah, they do. Lesbians love felt smell. A big Faber-Castell. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't get them off him. That long, thin one. Oh, 32 colours. Yeah. Big lesbian energy. Very progressive Saudi Arabia. Didn't they just let women drive last year?

Oh, no, it was a few years ago. It was a mistake, but not unsupervised for a star. Yeah, their husband has to be there. Yeah. Truly, their husband has to be there. Yeah. Truly, their husband has to be in the car with them. What a place. I think they're looking in the wrong places because Saudi Arabia is surrounded by big gay energy.

Okay. These are the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy, the rainbow toys. Number six, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. Holy moly. Oh, yeah. That big phallic. That's big building energy right there.

Yeah, look at that big stiffy just poking right up into the sky. Big gay energy on the Burj. At full bloody mass too. At full. Number five on the list are the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy than rainbow toys. All those spurting oil wells. Yeah.

You know when they crack an oil reserve out of the desert. And then those pumps that just pump, pump, pump. Yeah. Just boom, boom, boom, boom. All day long. Take that. It's not homoerotic. I don't know what is.

Neither. Neither. Neither. Number four on the list of the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy than Rambo toys. Fanny Stadium next door in Qatar. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah. That was a mistake.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The one that the Football World Cup's going to be played in next year? Yeah. Big. Majora. Huge. Huge Fanny energy. Ah, that's how many, how many dollars is that for huge Fanny Energy

that's how many how many dollars is that for the Fanny Jar yeah you're using them all up is it two dollars each time I think so I've got

I've said it at least three times so I think it's six dollars for the Fanny Jar eight dollars number three on the list but nothing for Majora no we're going to let that go scientific

scientific number three on the list of the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy than rainbow toys. They literally have a neighbour called Oh Man. Oh Man. You'll never be allowed into the UAE again. I'm never going to be allowed to go again. No.

Which is a shame because I, Carl Fletcher, love travelling. Oh, boom. Excuse me, Vaughan Smith. Me, I'm Hayley Sproul. Number two on the list of the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy than rainbow toys. Below, oh man, there's yeah man. They're surrounded by men.

Men. Yeah. Who are experiencing sexual pleasure. Oh, man. Yeah, man. Oh, man. Do you know what? There's a part where oh, man touches yeah, man.

Oh. Wow. Big gay border. And number one on the list of the top six things around Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy, the Rambo toys, the sheer girth of it. Yeah. God. The sheer girth of Saudi Arabia with bigger gay energy than Rambo toys. The sheer girth of it. Yeah. The sheer girth of Saudi Arabia.

Yeah. It's a wide one. What a good length. Yeah. All of our man girth. That is so sick. It's nice knowing you guys by the way.

You were just going to disappear. Yeah, bye. Bye. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Okay, so you know, there's the perception that when you get older, things get harder to learn, like learning a language or learning an instrument. Or the saying, can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Yeah, that one. Can't teach an old dog a new saying either. Like the saying, with a dog and someone old. There's old dogs and tricks. Yeah, that one. Did you say like the saying? Can't teach an old dog a new saying either. Like the saying with a dog and someone old? There's old dogs and stuff. Yeah. So, I mean, I've always believed this. It's hard. Well, language, like, it would be hard.

Oh, my gosh. Like, they always say that's something you should learn when you're younger. Yes, same with instruments. They're like, start them young. Get the hard stuff out of the way. Yeah. Well, apparently, you can overcome this. It is not the most important factor when you are slightly older to learning new skills. The main factor is believing in yourself.

Oh, my God. I actually knew you were going to hate this. Good stuff. Right. So, this isn't just like a motivational, guys, just believe in yourself. There was some research done. Okay.

So they wanted to see how passion, grit and belief that you will succeed and get better stacked up against age. Yeah. And the more that someone had motivation and belief that they were going to do something, the more that they would achieve that thing regardless of age. Age didn't come into it at all. Right.

So you could be like a lazy young person or a motivated old person. And the motivated old person is going to trump the lazy young person when it comes to learning a skill. Because self-confidence decreases as we age, something that has been proven. As we get older, we get less, you know, confident to try new things or go places or even like walk somewhere. But also our stubbornness increases.

So if you use that stubbornness to kind of focus on something and be motivated at trying something rather than being like. Are you listening to this stubborn Vaughan Smith? Stubbornness. I refuse to listen. It can be used for good rather than evil. And that stubbornness can help you grow. Right.

So there you go. You don't have to be a little young spring chicken to learn a new skill. I'm going to be learning some new skills soon. One, I'd love to learn te reo Māori. That's one thing I'd love to learn. Yeah. She says year after year. And never puts any

work into it. But two, I'm getting a drum kit for my birthday. Are you actually? Yeah. Are you getting a loud drum kit? No, I'm getting electronic. The pads. I'm getting the pads because I moved into a quiet neighbourhood because my last neighbourhood was too rowdy. So you can't then become

the loud neighbourhood. I can't become the rowd. But have you ever played the drums before? Yes. I learned drums for three years. When I was like a teenager though. And then it got too hard and I was like, I don't want to do it anymore. But what's the point? Are you joining a band? Maybe. Maybe. And then it got too hard and I was like, I don't want to do it anymore. But what's the point? Are you joining a band? Maybe. Maybe.

And hey, never too old because. Never too old. Because I have some of the increased stubbornness of getting older. Yeah. So I'm going to put that towards becoming a hot drum chick. Fletch also just doesn't understand hobbies. Do you? Not really.

You don't have any. Do you not have hobbies? He doesn't think so. I get bored. I just get bored. I'd like to give that a go. No, he doesn't understand hobbies. Do you? Not really. You don't have any. Do you not have hobbies? He doesn't think so. I get bored. I just get bored. I'd like to give that a go. No, he doesn't think that. I've got a list of things a mile long when my new shed gets finished of the little bits

and pieces I'm going to... Oh, you're a hobby boy. I'm a hobby boy. Well, you got into your woodturning because your friends bought you a lathe. A lathe, yeah. But have you done any lathing lately? Well, no, because the garage is gone. Right.

You can't lathe. Well, you could lathe in the open, no, because the garage is gone. Right. Well, you could lathe in the open, but there's a risk with running electricity straight out. There is an opportunity here for us, knowing that it is someone's birthday. Force them into a hobby. This week. Oh, God. Force them into a hobby.

With like a big gesture. Yeah. Into a hobby. I could easily get a lathe and be like, oh, I'm going to make this into something and then I'll do it once and be like, done. That's how hobbies work. Hello.

That's what keeps the economy going. But then I won't do it again. It'll just be a waste of time. I love the idea of your inner city apartment where there's a lathe in the middle. Just shavings everywhere. And noises coming from Hayley. Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Oh, you're a silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Oh, you're a silly little pole. Do you wash clothing with a warm wash or a cold wash? I'm a cold. Warm wash. I'm a cold. 31%. Cold wash, 69%. God, who's paying the power bill?

Nice. It's more for, less for the power thing and more for the care of the clothes. Yeah, it's better to wash your clothes in the cold, isn't it? No clothes love a hot wash. Oh, but a towel. I'll hang a towel in a hot wash. No. Sometimes I'll do undies in a hot wash.

Why? They've been through a lot. How soiled are your undies? I crank it up. Yeah, I crank it up to... What does our washing machine do? You can push the button and it goes from like 20 degrees to 40 degrees to 60 degrees. I'll go up as high as it'll go for an undies and a socks.

No wonder your undies get wrecked so quick. They don't get wrecked quickly. They last forever. That is fabric suicide. Yeah, it is. No, you can't do that. And also like stains with hot water get cooked, don't they? Get cooked in.

They get cooked in. But you bake them. You bake them in. So basically you're baking your skids in at this hot 60 degree wash. Yeah. Imagine the smell as well of hot skids. You're baking your skids in. The skids aren't being baked in.

You're baking your skids in. Take them off and show us. Okay. I see skids. Baked in as well. Early in the day too. Baked skids Baked as well Early in the day too Baked skids Ann Kelly

Ankly Lovely name Ankly Although she's a bit ankly That's what you say Some really long ankles Yes Very prominent ankle bones

She's ankly She's got nice legs Bit ankly though She said I didn't even know There was a particular temperature I just switched it on And pressed play.

Oh, do they do a quick 30? Is that by default? No, but you've still got to, my quick 30, you've still got to select your temperature. No, my quick 30 just picks cold. Oh, does it? Yeah. Does it?

Because ours always, the old one used to start in the middle. Oh, and then you have to temper. But the new one starts cold. Right. Lacey says, cold wash because the plumber forgot to plumb the laundry into the gas hot water system and he's too expensive

to get back. He saved you. He saved you money, yeah. You don't need hot. Nah, you don't. Molly says, too paranoid my clothes will shrink if I wash

them on warm. Yeah, that's true. If that ever happens, you put your clothes in a sink and then you put hair conditioner all through it and it relaxes it.

It relaxes it. Really? Yeah, and then you don hair conditioner all through it. And it relaxes it. It relaxes it. Really? Yeah, and then you don't hang it. You lay it out flat. I've fixed many a shrunken item with hair conditioner. Wow. Don't use like a Kevin Murphy. Use a cheap, a Herbal Essence.

Yes, and then your jeans or shirt or whatever you're expecting smells like fresh apple. Oh, yes. It's always apple. It's always apple. Apple and rosemary. What is that? Herbal essence. Herbal essence.

Fructus. Apple. Fructus. Fructus. Fructus. Green apple. Donna says, I warm wash for about a year before changing back to cold. It washes the same, but I find it also keeps the scent on the clothes longer.

Oh, okay. Good tip there from Donna. That's if you like your ylang-ylang. Get your power bill down too, guys. Save so much money with a cold wash, says Kate. Yeah. Kate knows where it's at. Kate's coming in with the financial advice.

Holly says... Hang on a sec. Are you at a restaurant? What kind of water bottle? You are drinking water out of a bottle with a hinge. Like an old hinge top. Yeah, these... Those are only at restaurants, the water bottles.

This is funny, Aaron bought these to be, so our bedside tables are more aesthetically pleasing at night because he hates having our like trashy, like fluoro blue systemas. So we have these. Who's coming in? Are you expecting the block judges to turn up

in the middle of the night? You tell me, Vaughn. I'm just following rules. You're like, what? What's happening? And she's like, ooh, yeah.

Sistema. Ooh, you guys are trash. Old pump bottle. We drink out of glass bottles now. Glass bottles. Holly, back to washing hot or cold,

clothes only, not glass bottles that someone stole from a cafe. Holly says, it depends. Towels and underwear, always hot, everything else cold. So she rocks a hot washer and a neck as well. If you want to floof your towels, cold wash, dry them, and then just put them in the dryer for 10 minutes and boom.

Floof. Yeah, floof. Alexandra says, always cold wash. Better for fabrics, colours, and it's superior. Always. I love how passionate

people are about this poll. Rachel says, hot wash will ruin your shit and then you'll cry and don't come to me crying. So she's very aggressive. Yeah. We were asking a question.

We weren't like saying, leave me alone. Leave me alone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. The world's most chaotic game show. All right, the phone lines are loaded up. It's time for the world's most chaotic game show. Amber, good morning.

Good morning. Andy, hello. Hello. Connor, how's it going? Good day, mate. Well, thank you. But Matty, what's up? Good morning.

What's up? What's up? Nick, Nick, Nick, where's that? He's overwhelmed by it. Where's that? Nick, I said where's that? Kia ora, good morning. Kia ora, good morning.

And Andrew. Hello there. Howdy. Alright, now I immediately notice a problem. I'm immediately subbing out the first round for a different round. Let's begin. Round one.

There's an Andy and an Andrew and I simply won't have both. Someone call heads or tails. I'm flipping a coin. Tails. Who called heads? Andrew. Andrew. See you later, Andy.

You're out of the game. Oh, you guys suck. Bye, Andy. And just like that, Andy's gone. All right, next round. Next round. Amber, what's your star sign? Sagittarius.

Sagittarius. Connor, what's your star sign? Sagittarius. Sagittarius. Connor, what's your star sign? Scorpio. Scorpio. Maddie, what's your star sign? Leo. Leo. Nick, what's your star sign?

Gemini. Andrew, what's your star sign? Pisces. We say goodbye to Amber. Sagittarius. Get out of here, Sagittarius. That's not a real one. First one to answer correctly.

What compass direction am I pointing in? North. Has everybody answered? North, north. Connor, which direction? Go west. West? Connor, you're gone. We'll go west. West? Connor, you're gone.

I was pointing west. See you, Connor. Thanks for playing. All right, three people left. By my calculations, Maddie, Nick and Andrew are still in the game. Yep. Maddie, gold, silver or bronze? Silver.

Nick, gold, silver or bronze? Gold all the way, baby. Andrew, gold, silver or bronze? Silver. Nat, gold, silver or bronze? Gold all the way, baby. Andrew, gold, silver or bronze? Bronze. See you later, Nat. Gold, mate. That's a bit, you better hit yourself. Calm down.

Calm down. Last round. Matty or Andrew, first to tell me the year they were born, but only the last two digits. 91. Oh, Andrew was first. What did you say, Andrew? 91.

Andrew, congratulations. You win $91. Oh, beautiful. In the world's most kind of game show. God, it goes so fast. I don't know what's happening. What are you going to spend your $91 on, Andrew? Probably a box of piss.

Yeah, a box of piss. Good to see you. Paddy Gowler's documentary has really stuck with everybody. $1 on, Andrew. Probably a box of piss. Yeah, box of piss. Box of piss, man. Good to see you. And Patty Geller's documentary's really stuck with everybody. Fantastic stuff. Congratulations, Andrew. Sometimes I think I would like to beat a world record. Yeah.

Beat a Guinness World Record. And then I think it'll have to be something pretty basic or pretty out there. Well, one that no one's thought about. Yeah, one that no one is trying to beat me at. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know if that's the case for this, but I've never heard of it.

The fastest fish and chip wrapper. W-R-A-P-P-E-R. Like as in when you get your scooper chips, your crab stick. Crab stick. Don't come at me. Crab stick. Oh, you're one two fish. Crab stick. Don't come at me. Crab stick. Oh, you're one of those.

Crab stick. That's not even crab. Why does nobody like crab sticks? No, people do famously. Otherwise, they wouldn't still be on the menu. I always wonder, with people like you who have a bonkers order,

how you found your way there. When did you first have a crab stick at the fish and chip shop? Okay, so you know my addiction to crab sticks started when at the supermarket, you shop? Okay, so you know my addiction to crab sticks started when at the supermarket, you know they sell that sashimi the fake

yeah, it was that. Right. And then, yeah, crab sticks are supreme. I'll always get a couple with a fish and chips. Fish, chips and a couple of crab sticks. Way to go. Way to go. Alright, I didn't know this. So yeah, this is I mean, it's not in New Zealand.

It's in the UK. Right. The Guinness World Record announced last week the fastest time for wrapping five portions of fish and chips. The winning time was 40.13 seconds, beating a previous record that has not been touched since 2018. What is involved in a wrap? Eight seconds. What's that? Eight seconds per thing.

You chuck it on. You wrap it. So he scoops on. He scoops. Yeah. He's going scoop from the thing. Scoop five portions. One, two, three, four, five.

Oh. He's going too slow with the bloody chips. Oh, salt and vinegar. Oh, okay. Yum. Yum. And then corners, corners, corners, over, over, over, roll, tape. So he's just going corner and vinegar. Oh, okay. Yum. And then corners, corners, corners, over, over, over, roll, tape. So he's just going corner, in, corner, in.

Is he going like the, what is that, newsprint? Yeah. No, like butcher's paper. Butcher's paper, yeah. The plain one. Yeah, like a news, that's basically newsprint without the printing on it from the Herald. Oh, he's not taping. That's all going to fall out in the car.

Tip, fold, tuck. Oh, he's not taping. That's all going to fall out in the car. Tap, tap, fold, tuck. Yeah, yeah, so corner, corner, thingy, and then a roll. Then flip it over. Like you're doing a rice paper roll. You know, you've got a corner, and then you've got to roll it. Oh, no, no, no.

But he doesn't seal the ends. That's a bad technique. And that's it. Paper down in the middle, fold it in, tuck it, flip it over onto the next one, do another layer, and then wrap it in newspaper. Have you ever worked at a fish and chip

shop? No. But I've certainly given it a few. I've read my fair share, but I've also watched them do it, and the first time I saw that particular technique I just described, I was, and it got home, no steam escape, no leakage, open up,

fresh. So apparently there's a few Guinness World Records about fish and chips, and New Zealand doesn't have any of them. So the largest portion of fish and chips, 55 kgs, was set in Britain. The most portions of fish and chips sold in eight hours was set in Melbourne. The thinnest chip went to San Francisco. The thinnest chip went to San Francisco. The thinnest chip? And the most people eating fish and chips at the same time was in the UK. Do you know how many was...

No, they don't have the numbers on these, but we don't have a single fish and chips record. That is a bit disgusting. If you watch this video, and I encourage a confident fish and ch-er to go and watch it. I don't think he's going that fast. And he got a Guinness record out of this, this guy. Oh.

Come on, New Zealand. It wasn't a new Guinness record. It was a standing Guinness record. Yeah, that someone else had said it in 2018 and then he beat it. So I reckon have a go. Yeah. Get Guinness over to watch you wrap the chippies and we'll happily eat them.

Oh, absolutely. The five portions. As long as there's crab sticks in there. I like this vinegar thing. I'm going to next time we get chips, I'm going to say, can you put the vinegar in the steaming process? Yeah.

When it's in the pack. Before you get home, you can add your own vinegar, but you want it in that crucial moment. Don't you? Yeah, and you need the squirty head. Yeah. Because I've only got vinegar in a thick bottle.

It's too much. It's too splashy. You squirty banger. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Well, a chilly start for the entire country this morning. Would you say it's the coldest it's been?

Particularly in Auckland anyway. Seven degrees in Auckland at the moment. One in Hamilton, seven in Wellington, Christchurch, four. It's minus one in Timbers, minus two in Queenstown. Yes. Good fun. Warmest place is Kaitaia on 10. It's good to feel the cold arriving because it's been concerning that we've been rocking

around in a t-shirt at 18 degrees up until like last week in Auckland. Well, a Hamilton woman has shared her story with News Hub of her exploding hot water bottle. Eesh. And I just scrolled down and saw the photos of the blisters. Don't.

Yeah, it's not. I am, when I have rocked a hot water bottle, I'm absolutely guilty of this. I use boiling. Yeah. I use the boiling water. You have to. You squeeze the air out.

You do it in tight. Squeeze the air out nice and, so the sucking can move around. Yep, yep. And then that's your hot water bottle. And then if you're very lucky, there might be just a tiny bit of warmth in the morning when you wake up.

Just a tiny bit. Do you wrap a t-shirt around it? Well, that's what they're saying. So this Hamilton woman, at burst, she had to jump in the shower. She had to go to hospital. Second degree burns.

The photos are like horrible. I just could not look at them. And so they're saying, check your hot water bottles if you're using them. And I mean, what? They're only like five bucks, right? You can buy one at the warehouse for like, what?

Four or five bucks? It's been a long time since I've bought a hot water bottle. I think it's something you should buy every winter and then just chuck the old one out, right? Let me tell you how I used to reuse the water from the hot water bottle. I don't know what made me think of this. I was like, oh my God, we're just wasting water.

Hashtag save the earth. And so I would get the hottie and the next day I would tip the water back into the jar and then heat it and then put it into the thing. Next day, tip it back in. Oh my God, no.

And then one day, Aaron made a cup of tea and was like, the hell is this? And there was like all this rubber through the jug. So don't do that. Don't do that. No, yuck. Just get yourself some fresh water. I mean, you could water the plants or put it in the garden. Yeah, exactly. Save it otherwise. Don't put it back in the jug. So yeah, they're saying

always check. And I would just get a new one every winter. It's insurance, right? Like, you can't go wrong with a brand new one. And have a cover for it. You can buy a cover. Get a cover. Why are you rocking a hot water bottle? I'm not.

I don't have one. But I'm just saying, like, when I did, I would just buy one. Even now and then I rock a hottie. Really? Yeah, I hate electric blankets. They make me feel crook. What, did you just put an extra blanket? No, because you're slow cooking yourself with one at once.

No, no, no. You are. Just an extra blanket. Especially when you come're slow cooking yourself with one. No, no, no. An extra blanket. Just an extra blanket. Especially when you come home, you've had a couple of drinks, you put the extra blanket on, then you just go to sleep. You wake up, you're dry, and you're like, no. We were talking about this story before the show,

and Carween said, oh, I don't have a hot water bottle. I've moved on. What are you using, Carween, at the social media desk? So I've Googled it. It has a name. It's called a hot pot. And it's like, I don't know, squishy stuff in a little square. And you plug it into the wall and it heats itself up. Like a USB.

What, are you sleeping with it plugged into the wall? No, no, no. Or just charge it during the day and then? So you plug it in for about 10 to 15 minutes. And then the light turns off. And then you jump into bed with it. Erin's got one.

They're so good. And does the goo last longer warm? Oh my gosh. Oh yeah. Does it? I will wake up in my arms and it's still warm

like to come to work. They're so good and they come with a little like fleece cover so it doesn't get too hot. I feel like the goo and that, if that exploded

would be worse than boiling water though. Yeah, probably. For sure. But it's got layers. Oh right, so it's boiling water, though. Yeah, probably. For sure. But it's got layers. Oh, right. So it's not going to explode. Yeah, they're really good.

They're good for long drives. I just had a little look. Yeah. $32. Long drives? Because Aaron's got back pain. Oh, okay. You're taking off a balloon in the car

rather than turning on the car heater. Would that be better than a Wheatie sack? I'm a Wheatie. Then you chuck it in the microwave? I'm a Wheatie. Then you chuck in the microwave? I'm Wheatie and I put it on my legs or something and then maybe 30 seconds later

it's cold. Yeah. They suck, man. Burning hot to freezing cold. Yeah. The Wheatie story. Yeah. Okay, where do you get these

from non-spawn, non-spawn? I did just Google and it's at the chemist's warehouse. But I think they have everything, don't they? They have everything, don't they? At the supermarket at the end of the aisle

they had this like Three foot long Hot water bottle Like a long snake Type hot water bottle Because you know You could straddle it Like a pregnancy pillow

Yeah Are you kidding me Yeah like a long Snake hot water bottle I thought it was One of those draft stoppers Remember when Yeah yeah yeah

Draft stoppers Oh he's like a snake Your grandparents Only heated one section Of the house So they'd ram towels or something against the door so the heat wouldn't get into the cold hallway. And then when you went to bed,

you had to go through the cold hallway to the cold bedroom. Yes. Oh, yeah, I love that. That's crazy. Is this part two of Fletchbourne and Hayley try to sell something out? Sell something out? Oh, my God, yes. We tried to sell it to Pants, and I think we did quite well.

Yeah. Now we're doing the, what is it, Heat Pod at Chemist Warehouse. Hot Pod. Hot Pod. I think you can get them at other chemists as well. Nah, let's go big. Let's go big corporation. Hot Pod and Detrick.

Oh, okay, it's not what I imagined. It's not owned. My problem is we've done no research into who owns this. This isn't a Nazis invention. It's the Mondo Group New Zealand. I don't think. They're not Nazis, are they? I don't think. We'll do a Nazis invention. It's the Mondo Group New Zealand. I don't think. They're not Nazis are they?

We'll do a quick check. Yeah. Can we just do a quick check before we promote a product even though we're not

being paid. Plug and cord. This looks amazing. Eight hours. It lasts up to eight hours. But wait there's

more. Oh to what? Recommended for five plus years. It's so good. Use it all over the body. Yeah, this looks great. All over the body.

And 4.5 stars on the Chemiste Warehouse website. Oh, wow. Patsy Rock's one, honestly. What's it called? Mondo. Mondo who? Mondo Group. Well, it's just called a hot pod, electric heat pack.

Mondo Group. Yeah, that looks great. Just doing a Nazi check, are you? Just doing a quick Nazi check. Is there a website out there? I like to do this. If I'm ever going to do a paid post for a company, I run them through the, are they a Nazi owned operation before I endorse them?

Yeah, because it was that time you got caught out selling that artwork. Stolen. Stolen artwork. You were hawking off bars of gold and stolen artwork and you didn't know it. I tell you what, it's lucky since then. Since then everything goes through the are they a Nazi.

Fantastic. Are they the Nazi party disguised as a company? Before I endorse. Let's sell it out. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. All right, let's try some of these. Hey, Vaughn and Hayley. All right, let's try some of these. Hey, Vaughn. Mm-hmm.

Do you like Star Wars? Mm-hmm. Because Yoda only won for me. What? Because Yoda only won for me. Yoda only won for me. Gotcha. Okay, I'll try again.

Gotcha. Hey, who? Oh, that's bad. Hey, Fletch. Yeah? I believe in following my dreams. So can I have your Instagram? Oh, because you are her dream and then she would be following you.

Hey, Vaughan. Yes, maybe. Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you? Okay, these are terrible pick-up lines. Oh, this one's terrible. Hey, Fletch. Yeah? Oh, hey, man.. Hey, Fletch. Yeah.

Hey, man. Do you have a name or can I just call you mine? No. That's so bad. That's terrible. That's terrible. You certainly cannot have ownership of me. Okay, so apparently there's been a study that showed,

because if a man came up to me and gave a cheesy pick-up line, like, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again? Have I died and gone to heaven because I must be looking at an angel? I would run for the hills. But women typically are less likely to use pickup lines like that.

But now they've done some research. So they've said, because women don't use them, there's never been any research into whether or not women using pickup lines is effective or not because we just don't do it. No.

So they did some research into the effectiveness of pickup lines between the genders, and it found that women using pickup lines is actually a very effective way to nab a partner, because it shows that you are extroverted, basically. Right. That you're outgoing, extroverted, know what you want, and that's very attractive. And also it would be a nice surprise for a guy. Yeah, absolutely. Because, like, women don't do it

because they're normally quite cheesy. Yeah, they even tested people between the ages of 18 and, what's it like, 96. So they were like, regardless of whether you're wanting to procreate or just have a fun time or find a husband or someone to die with, I assume. They look to the effectiveness. And it works when women use a pickup line such as...

But guys, we're an easy bunch, aren't we? We're the easiest. You could probably just say hello and we'd be like, absolutely. Wow, good pickup line. Imagine, are you a Wi-Fi connection? No, damn, I stuffed it. I stuffed it.

Okay. Oh, wow. Is your name Wally? Because someone like you is hard to find. I stuffed it. Okay. Oh, wow. Is your name Wally? Because someone like you is hard to find. These are terrible. Carmen Sand... Oh, no. Is that for a woman's...

Wally? Yeah. No. Is your name Carmen Sandiego? Why? Because she was the sexiest. She had this alluring sexuality. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to say she was my sexual awakening. Yeah, but she's not going to say, are you Carmen Sandiego? Because you're a man. I think I've found my favorite one. Yeah, no, that not going to say, are you Carmen Sandiego? Because you're a man. I think I've found my favourite one. Yeah, no, that's what I said. That's what I said. Is that a design for a man?

Here's one to say to a woman. Hey, girl, are you a beaver? Because damn. Terrible. I think that would tickle me. I think that would tickle me. Right, okay. But normally you'd roll your eyes, right?

Absolutely. At the guy you used to pick up line. Yeah, this is why I want to, I just want to see if we're going to get any calls of this. Not an impossible phone, because I hope we do. Yeah. But have you ever received a pick-up line and it worked? Or used one? Or used one.

Because it does blow my mind that people would even try a pick-up line in this day and age, right? I did a fancier drink. Was that a pick-up line? What do you mean? It was a guy who worked in a cafe and I felt some tingly connection when he would serve me my coffee and so I thought I'm just going to ask him out on a date and I wrote fancier drink on a note

and then I put $5 and then he went to go give me the coffee and I like slipped it like this and then he tried to go, it's on the house and I was like, oh no, you're doing what I'm doing, but I'm doing it. So then I was like, no, no, no, take the money. He said, no, no, no, no, no, that's on the house.

So he wouldn't see the fancy drink till he moved to $5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then you would have been like, okay, it's on the house. Take the money, but you can still have that. Yeah, I wasn't that cool. I was like 19 at the time. Right. And did you end up having a date with this guy?

Yes, indeedy. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll wait until you're time. Right. And did you end up having a date with this guy? Yes, indeedy. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, 0800-DANCE-AT-M. Steam your milk. You frothed it.

Yeah. 0800-DANCE-AT-M is the number. Give us a call. You can text him as well. 9696. Has a pickup line ever worked for you or on you? Sarah, did this pickup line work for you or on you? Yes. Sarah, did this pickup line work for you or on you? I used to use it.

Okay. I went back in my dating app days, I was an avid fan of a pickup line on the men. Okay. And my go-to one was, is your dad a boxer? Because, damn, you're a knockout. Oh, that's classic. I love it. And would you just match with guys, is your dad a boxer? Because, damn, you're a knockout. Oh, that's classic.

I love it. And would you just match with guys and just copy and paste that? Yeah. Yeah. Control C, Control V. Control V, Control V. And people thought that it was so original as well, which was kind of half the fun of it.

They were just like, well, you're so creative. Well, I'm a creative comedian. You are so creative. Had you originally found that pickup line from, like, had you Googled pickup lines? Yes. Yeah, 100%. 100%.

Very creative to think of that to do that. Yeah, there's the creativity. Really, there's the creativity. Sarah, thanks for your call. Megan. We didn't hear the end of her story. What do you mean? I feel like it was more to the end of her story.

I don't think you got to the end. She felt, I felt like the was more to the end of her story. What do you mean? I feel like it was more to the end of her story. I don't think you got to the end. She felt like the story wasn't over. Sarah, was the story over? Well, so I didn't use the pickup line on my current partner. One of the only people I never used it on, which was a stroke of luck because his dad passed away sadly. I don't know if we would be together if I used it.

Oh, yeah, because he would have been like, oh, actually. Is your dad a boxer? My dad's a dead man. My dad's dead. Yeah. My dad was tragically killed in a boxing accident.

Yeah, how could you? Million dollar baby styles. Yeah. Megan, what was the pickup line? Was this used on you or you used it? A bit of both. Okay. So we met this guy and I, I don't even remember his name.

We met on a dating app and he started off with, do I like raisins? And I was like, weird, but yeah, I like raisins. Oh no, I would say I like sultanas better. Yeah, always a sultana. I'm a raisin girl. But anyway, then he goes, well, do you fancy a date? Oh.

I still wouldn't have got that. I'd be like pretty more a prune guy, to be honest. Yeah, I would have been like, well. You're talking two wildly different things. A raisin's a dry grape. A date is the result of the date palm, isn't it? It's a prune. Yeah.

What are you confusing everybody? I thought it was cute, so I gave him a chance and I'm like, yeah, sure, sounds great. You know, bringing it back to raisins. Grape, yeah,

sounds great. Oh, you're good, you're good there. That's nice from you. And then he unmatched me. Oh! He didn't find a punny. He didn't find a punny at all.

Unbelievable. Oh, that's... Right, so maybe they don't work, Hayley. Maybe your study's wrong. You blew your best material on a waste of time. Megan, so maybe they don't work, Hayley. Maybe your study's wrong. You blew your best material on a waste of time. Megan, thanks for your call. Janelle, what was the pick-up line that worked on you?

Hi, so I actually had a good one quite like Sarah that I'd kind of copy and paste. I love that. But it always worked. The pick-up line was, are you a bank loan? Because you're gaining my interest. Are you a bank loan? See, I feel like all you need to say to guys is hello and we'll be into it.

No, it's clever. It's topical. It's topical and it's relevant. Right. And it was so original, but like I found it on Instagram. Fantastic. Love it. But it worked for you all the time? Literally. And now I've got on Instagram. Fantastic. Love it. But it worked for you all the time?

Literally. And now I've got a boyfriend. Oh. Does he know you copy and pasted that pick up line? No, because I met him on a different app. Okay. Different pick up lines for different apps. Brilliant.

Some of these players. I love it. Janelle, thank you. Ask some messages in. My favourite is, damn girl, are you a toaster because I'd like to take a bath with you.

Don't. No. Don't put a toaster anywhere near a bath. That's a big no-no. Brilliant. That's so dark. Yeah. I would immediately be like, I like you. I like you. You're twisted.

Yeah, that's a really twisted one. My name is Patrick and a girl once opened on Tinder with, is this the Krusty Krab? It was an absolute winner. Yeah. No, SpongeBob reference. You don't pick up lines. A pick up line shouldn't involve the word Krusty Krab.

It's not good. Yeah. Or crabs. What about the text in from the cobbler? That was one of my favourites. I'm a cobbler. A cobbler's a person that repairs shoes. Yeah.

I went out clubbing one night and saw this beautiful girl. As the night went on, I found her sitting next to me. I finally found the courage to talk to her, and I noticed that her boot needed a slight bit of repairing, so I said, hey, girl, that's a nice pair of boots you're wearing. I can fix that for you. Didn't even put a rhyme in it. Not so much even a pickup line as a job proposition, really.

They're scouting for business. Anyway, it worked, says Amit. Did it? It worked. Yes. Congrats. I'm just so clever. How often do you need a new sole or a little boot fix?

I've got like the inside of my Timberlands on the back has worn down. No, you've got to get it fixed. I want to get that fixed. I'll be able to go and see the cobbler. Text him it. I'm going to. He's my cobbler. He's my cobbler.

I'm just going to see the cobbler listen to the show. Yeah, it's very 1850s. How do they get the show in 1849? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So yesterday I got home from work. I've been napping a lot lately Ever since I've had COVID I've been back into a bad routine of napping every day

He thinks he's dying I got it all baby I'm self-diagnosing every single day With just the alphabet of diseases Up to D Diabetes, type 2 Dementia. Dementia.

Dementia. Yeah. That's in there. I was accused of having dementia earlier on the show. I know the long COVID thing, it's horrible, isn't it? A lot of people suffering. Yeah, it's weird. And it's just not a lot of energy to do much.

Yeah. I haven't even had short COVID yet. Surely the long ones. The short one, then the long one, then a bit of medium. So I woke up from a nap feeling like, because I'd fallen asleep with the dehumidifier on.

Prunes you up, doesn't it? I just woke up and was like, I was like the mummy in the original Brendan Fraser, not the Tom Cruise remake. Just breathing sand. And I rolled over and looked at my phone and I had some emails. Yeah.

And one of them said, your AliExpress item has been delivered. Place the feedback. Oh. And I was like, my AliExpress. I was excited. I've been ordering a lot of Dungeons & Dragons dice, but these ones light up.

You put them in their case and they charge. And then when you roll them, they light up. And the LED lights, they change colour. And then when they flash and blink. Oh, my God. I thought for a moment you were encouraging them. Oh, my God, please don't stop. I won't stop.

I won't stop. So you roll them and then when it finally lands and stops, it changes colour again. What? I know. So you can see the number you rolled more clearly. Oh, my God. I know.

You can imagine my excitement. I'm up out of bed because the courier's been for the day. Yeah. And it wasn't in there and I thought, hmm. Why? Maybe it's one of those different courier companies. Private. Sometimes you get a different courier delivery.

I'm not to question it. I went out and it wasn't on the doorstep. Yeah. And I've just woken up from a nap. Yeah. I'm in a T-shirt, undies and socks. Yeah. You nap in your socks?

Yeah, I nap in socks. Not always a T-shirt, but yesterday I kind of like was watching something and dozed off. So I've got a beanie on as well, which I find comforting to nap with a beanie on. I don't sleep with a beanie on at night, but if I nap during the day, I'll leave my beanie on. Yeah, cute. It's a cute situation. And I don't sleep with a beanie on at night, but if I nap during the day, I'll leave my beanie on. Yeah, cute. It's a cute situation. And I noticed there's nothing on the doorstep, so I'm like, maybe it's in the letterbox.

And that's when I look out and the dog's at the end of the driveway barking and there's a car parked at the letterbox, just like a silver car. And the postie had literally told us that day that someone followed her around the other day. She doesn't want to leave anything on the letterbox anymore of value.

Porch pirates. Because people are stealing to leave anything on the letterbox anymore of value. Porch pirates. Because people are stealing packages. Even if the package is just like leaving a letterbox kind of package. Yeah. She doesn't like doing it

because somebody followed her around and nicked like six packages. Oh my God. That's terrible. Shocking. So immediately I'm like that person's stealing

my light up Dungeons and Dragons dice. And I won't have it. That's terrible. Oh my God. The dice I used for adventures were about to send me on a wild adventure. So I whistle, the dog comes back, the car takes off. Yeah. And I'm just like, grab my keys.

And I jump in the chimney, known for its speed. In your undies. In my undies. And I run across the wet concrete to get to the car. So now I'm rocking wet socks. You don't have shoes on. No, no, no. Why do you slide your burks on? Cold. I don't know where the burks are. You're chasing a criminal.

No, you're right. I'd be better at chasing socks than burks. Burks are hard to run in. I'm in a sock, which is just above a foot. When you say an undie, do you mean like a sleeping undie or just your undies? Just the undies I was wearing earlier in the day. Cheap.

Just, no, like boxer brief ones. Yeah, right. And so I'm in the car. Yeah. Back out, straight down, hit the button, the gate opens, I'm out, shut the gate again, and I see the silver car. I'm off after them. In the chimney.

In the chimney. Wonderful vehicle for an off-road pursuit, but perhaps not on a highway. Do you think they were like, oh my God, there's a white girl in a Jimny after us. I'm being chased by a girl on the way to course. Why is Casey from the North Shore following me so quickly? Yeah, she's in a real hurry to get to the Rodney Wayne

that she works at. So I chase the car up the road and I see it pulls off into a road just up. I'm like, oh no, no, that's not night time. That might work at night time if your lights are off. But this is day time. And then they pull into another driveway and stop in front of another mailbox. I'm like,

these cheeky bastards are going to rip off another mailbox. So I fly up that road and just turn and come straight in front of them. So if they're going to escape, they're going to have to reverse. They can't get out forwards unless they ram me. That'd be fun. Surely not.

Yeah. It's at that stage that I catch eyes with a very terrified old white woman who's like, ah! And I'm like, ah! Got this face on because I think I'm chasing a male thief. Oh, my dice. And she's on the phone. Right.

And so I back up and drive alongside her. And she's like, is everything okay? I said, what's happening? Why have you pulled over back there and up here? Yeah. Because there's been male theft in the area. Yeah. And she said, I'm so sorry.

I'm so scared when my phone rings when I'm driving. I've got to pull over before I can answer it on the hands-free. Oh, my God. You're a monster. And I was like, well, you pulled over in my driveway. She's like, yeah, I pulled over. But by the time I pulled over and pressed answer, that hung up. And so I started driving again and they called me again and I panicked

and I pulled into this road. I mean, you've chased me. In the driveway. In your underwear. In my undies. You didn't get out of the car. I didn't get out of the car. I didn't get out of the car. I didn't get out of the car.

And I said, well, there's been male theft, so everybody's, you know, a little bit on edge. Yeah. And she said, it wasn't me. Oh, of course it wasn't her, sweet dear. Then when I'm driving away, I'm like, she just got off the hook because she's out, like she was a bit older. As soon as you leave, she's like.

And she rolls the dice around in her hand and skits it across the. Yeah, let's be honest. She would have thrown those out of the window. She'd open that package. Yeah. It'll be one of those good looking packages with a bit of depth, a bit of girth and a bit of width. The amount of effort I imagine that being like, what's it going to be?

A phone, some clothes, some jewellery. So anyway, when I got home, I looked at the email again and it didn't say that it had been delivered. It said it was in the country. Oh my God. So you chased an elderly lady in a jimmy. But I got to do that cool thing where you pull in front of a car and you're like, and you eyeball them.

Where do you think you're going? Yeah, you're not going anywhere, buddy. But had another black jimmy behind them. It would have been even cooler going? Yeah. You're not going anywhere, buddy. But had another black chimney behind them. It would have been even cooler if we would have boxed her in. Oh my God. This is why the police say leave it to them.

This vigilante stuff. What, call 10-5 and they can deal with it in five weeks? Not likely, mate. There's a new sheriff in town. I'll take care of it. A new sheriff in a chimney.

In a chimney. In his undies. I just wish as I left the house I grabbed a lightsaber. How terrifying would it be to be pulled over by a man in his undies and socks who gets out and, by the order of the Jedi, get out of your vehicle, thief. You are out of control. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There's a study that's been done. Gen Z and millennial office workers,

this is a study out of the UK, would prefer most of them, 75% of them, would rather communicate by email or social media in the workplace. That is because they find phone calls confrontational and aggressive. No. Oh, my God confrontational and aggressive. No. Oh, my God.

So, they're chicken. Chicken. I was raised that if you have, sorry, I've just been eating some homemade granola. You can hear the nuts in your mouth. Yeah, yes. I've really gone all out with this. It's pecans. I believe it's the yogurt that you can hear causing the lubrication.

No, it's the skin of the hazelnuts. Oh, yeah, they're slippery. All getting in there. I forgot what I was going to say. Oh, I was always raised that if you had something important to communicate, you had to call or go around. I'm also so impatient that if I was in an office setting and I was emailing someone like, or I needed something done

or wanted to find something out, you send the email and you're on their time there. I'd rather just ring them or literally walk over to them in the office and say, where are we at with this? Just tell me so I know. But people don't like that.

That's very confrontational. That's very aggressive. That's so aggressive. Yeah, why is he doing that? Lara, calm down, man. Do-do-do-do-do. HR, we're just yelling at you. He's so aggressive. Yeah, why is he doing that? Lara, calm down, man. Do-do-do-do-do. Hey, Char. Yeah, wow.

He's just yelling at me. He snapped at me. But they don't like the phone call. They'd rather have an email. I love the phone call. I hate a voicemail. Oh, yeah, don't leave a voicemail. So call me.

That's a vocal email. Yeah. The only time I prefer an email is if it's sort of something I want on record. Always good to have a record. I like an email when it has a calendar thing in it so I can just click yes accept and then it goes into the calendar automatically. Don't tell me a date and expect me to remember it.

Yeah. I'm full of birthdays. You're all full of birthdays. Really? Full of birthdays. One in ten people in the office that are Gen Z or millennial admit that they go out of their way to avoid face-to-face contact. Stop lumping us together with the Gen Zs. Millennial and Gen Z are very different.

Do you reckon it's more the Gen Zs? Because they're all... That's that. Yeah. Whereas we're more, hey, what's this? What's going on? Like you. Yeah. That's that Yeah Whereas we're more Hey what's this What's going on Like you

Yeah So I mean yeah I don't know That's an insight Into the office The way the office Is going At the moment

Yeah We just say it To each other's face Don't we Yeah but I don't Want to talk to Anybody else Just between us Lock the doors They're right It's just us three don't we? Yeah, but I don't want to talk to anybody else.

Lock the doors. It's just us three. Send me an email. Just email me. I'll ignore it. I couldn't imagine you working in a 9-to-5 office job. I would hate it so much working in a 9-to-5. I just could not imagine how that would go. I'd have a mental breakdown working 9-to-5.

I would become problematic working 9 to 5. Would you be a headphones office worker? Yeah. Yeah, like you'd have headphones on. You'd go sunglasses on, headphones on, hat on, maybe hoodie up. Laughing along to the podcast I'm listening to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then people are like, what are you laughing at?

I'd be like, why don't you mind your own business? We've all got work to do. You ain't nothing but a dog player, I get it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I gotta say, this fact of the day, I believe, that I've seen, is off the oldest dated website we've ever used for a fact of the day. Okay.

Neopets.com. Geocities This was published in 1998. Oh, okay. People listening weren't even born on January 16th, 1998. Do you think I was? Ourselves included. We are about

20 22 years old. They tell me Princess Diana was what lovely... And the trade towers were a sight to behold, but I'm far too young to remember such events. Yeah. So yeah, this came from 1998. The fact of the day is that tiger beetles run so fast

that they go blind. What? Because the wind gets in their eyes. They burn their retinas off. They blur their vision because they run so fast. Tiger beetles run at, because you know how, when you kind of get a better indication as you compare to your body length, how fast you can run in your own body lengths.

Yeah. They run the fastest. What? How fast you run in your own body length. Yes. Why do you keep using the term body length? How capable of running you are in your body? So this is how old it is.

They don't use Usain Bolt as the example, which everybody would be using now as a sprinter because he's the fastest sprinter. Right. They use Michael Johnson, a sprinter. Was he the one that got done with drugs back in the day? Anyway. That's why he was fast.

He was a very fast man. He could run 5.6 body lengths per second. Body lengths? Well, you can't say metres because I'm about to compare it to a beetle and a beetle is significantly smaller, so it might not be covering the same metreage, but it's covering more of its body lengths. But what's the length? Is it our gait?

So the tiger beetle, it is 20 millimetres long, so two centimetres long, and it can run 2.5 metres a second. So that doesn't sound that impressive, but when you say in comparison to its body length, that's 125 body lengths a second. Yes, yes, yes.

And Michael Johnson could do 5.6. This guy can do 125 body lengths. So it's not kilometres an hour. It's body lengths per second. Per second. Because. Because it's relevant.

It's almost like a per capita thing. Like that, eh? Yes. But it's per length of your eyes. Yeah, yeah, per length of your own body. Because if you said kilometres an hour, we're at a bigger advantage than the tiger beetle. You betcha.

I gotcha. Because we're bigger. We've got a longer stride. They've got little wee legs. What are you looking at? What are your legs just made me laugh? I was just looking at what he's up to now. Who?

Michael Johnson. Oh yeah, what's he up to? We had a stroke. Oh Jesus. What's he up to now? Does he have a stroke? No, in 2018, but he's all right now. He's recovered.

Yeah. Still running? And he won four Olympic medals. Golds. Okay. Sprinting. Okay, but they weren't pulled off him. So he's not the guy medals. Golds. Okay. Sprinting. Okay, but they weren't pulled off him. So he's not the guy I'm thinking of.

No. Linford Christie. I don't know. I'm thinking of drug cheats. Famous drug cheats throughout history. A boat came into the harbour carrying famous drug cheats throughout history. Lance Armstrong.

Lance Armstrong. One. B. That horse on meth. Remember the meth horse? No, there was a meth horse in the news last week. Last week? It was earlier this year, wasn't it?

Meth horse. What about the Belarusian shot putter? Oh, Okshtepuks. Okshtepuks. Save that for O. Save that for O. We'll save that for O. We'll give you this in alphabetical order.

Big beauty. That was a horse that was also on meth. Just fill it in with creative answers. So anyway, these beetles, they run so fast that they catch things like ants, grasshoppers, caterpillars and stuff. They run so fast that their eyes can't process. They can't process what it's seeing. So it lines this thing up and just runs at a straight line at it, knowing that if it hits it, it's going to get it. It's going to bash into it, it's going to knock it it, it's going to get it. So when it arrives...

It's going to knock it out, it's going to eat it. But it can't see it. Once it starts running, it can't see what it's running at. But when it arrives, its vision is still there. It doesn't permanently blind them. Smashes into this thing, knocks it down, and then its vision comes back. It's kind of like, you know when you use your phone

to film a helicopter, and the blades look like they're turning really slowly? Yes. Because of the frame rate. Their frame rate can't keep up with how like they're turning really slowly because of the frame rate. Their frame rate can't keep up with how quickly they're moving. So effectively they go blind. Well like when you see a car and the hubcaps look like they're going backwards.

Yeah, because your eye isn't capable of processing that many frames. So the same situation for them. They've got a slower frame rate in the eye than us. So they lose all their vision. It just turns into like a blur and they smash into these things and then their vision comes back and they can eat them. Imagine being able to run so fast you couldn't see where you were running.

Yeah. It's not an issue for me. Not that fast. I don't want to run that fast. I'm not that fast per body length. No. Sometimes I think my eye is doing that thing where it's moving slowly, but then I just realise that's my speed.

Yeah, I'm slow. That's just how I move. So today's fact of the day is that thing where it's moving slowly, but then I just realise that's my speed. Yeah, I'm slow. That's just how I move. So today's fact of the day is that tiger beetles run so fast, body length, their own body length, that they go blind temporarily while doing so. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. VHS tapes are apparently worth money. I saw City Walkmans making a return.

Oh, God. No, no, no, no. They were the worst. They were. City Walkmans were the worst. They were. City Walkman's War. Are you having a stroke right now? Maybe. Well, he's got a lot of illnesses going on at the moment.

It's a long COVID. It's a long COVID. Yeah. Yes, any of the ailments that I'm currently probably plagued with. No, Diskins are the worst. Tape players, good fun because you could run with them. Totally. Totally. And you could make your own and take it with you. City, players, good fun because you could run with them. Totally. Totally.

And you could make your own and take it with you. Cities, skip, skip, skip, skip. Chew through batteries. Oh, my God, yeah. Chew through batteries. No, I got a lot of time for the tape player. And the tape player had a radio in it as well. Good for the radio.

Good for the radio. I've always been a fan of radio. Flick it to AM in summertime and crank a little bit of cricket commentary. Or a horse race or a greyhound race. And then just back to FM, then back to the tape. It has options. C.D. Walkman's junk. So this tape that has sold for a ton of money, $75,000, for a sealed, near mint condition, 1986, bless bless you VHS copy of Back to the Future.

Oh wow. $75,000 sets a new record for videotape. That's only $100,000 New Zealand dollars. Owned by Tom Wilson who played Biff Tannen in Back to the Future. And various incarnations of Biff Tannen. That's why it's expensive. Not because it's a VHS. He did say there would be a note accompanying it

saying this was owned by... So Vaughan is using... But VHS tapes have been seeing a resurgence in collectors. Really? Heritage auctions. So it's not just like at a second-hand store. It's at like auction houses and heritage auctions and things that they believe belong

and have a corner of American history. For a movie that you can get on a streaming service with really good quality. Absolutely. VHS tapes that they said are in high demand and have been fetching top dollar. The Goonies. Yeah.

Ghostbusters and Jaws. So some classics. It's the real nostalgia buzz. And, you know, there would be parents with boxes in the garage with VHS tapes. Yeah, probably not near mint condition. No. No.

Faded, sun-faded covers. Yeah. Stretched tapes. And the tab broken off and then sellotaped over so you could tape over the movie that you purchased that you didn't really like. But you're using this news story to highlight the fact that you're a hoarder. Yeah, I've got some collections. I've got a few collections. And that you are collecting things in the hope that one day

you'll be worth some money. They'll be worth some money. They live in the... I've got a couple of pretty cool bikes at my parents' place that I'm going to bring up when the shed's finished. A lot of things are going to happen when the shed's finished. God, this shed is going to change your life. The shed's already not big enough

because of all the things I said I'm going to do in the new shed. But yeah, I've got a couple of bikes and I reckon they're kind of like 25 years old now. So they could be like $100. Yep, probably tops. But another 25 years, who knows? Put that in the KiwiSaver.

Nobody wants your crappy bike that is going to take up room for years and years. But then my problem is once I've up room for years and years. Yeah. But then my problem is once I've had something for that long, I become emotionally attached to it. And I can't sell it. I'd rather just have it to look at every now and then. Things have like a heart when you own them for that long.

They start to have a soul and you can't part with them. I'm the same. I'm a big hoarder. Big time. I bought some collectible action figures in like 2000 and they remind me of like flatting and the fun times I had when I was being a student. But I doubt they're worth any money but if they were I'd still probably get rid of them. Aaron has all but

a couple of the Lord of the Rings figurines. Like the big kind of almost Barbie doll sized ones. All in their boxes and they're all in these like click clacks with spreadsheets on top saying which ones are in that box. How much does he think those are going to be worth?

Who's he missing? If he's only missing two from the whole set, the set's going to be worth more than the individual. It's not. Yeah, I know. It's not. Let's get in those last two. He got an offer, you know,

of say a couple of, I can't remember. He was like, now I'm going to wait. Yeah, well, wait it out. In the meantime, these click clacks are huge. Like they're massive. But with inflation and the way things are going, it I'm going to wait. Yeah, well, wait it out. In the meantime, these click-lacks are huge. They're massive. But with inflation and the way things are going,

it's probably going backwards. Yeah, definitely. No, you write it out, baby. Write it out, it's going to bounce back. The interest I'm paying on the garage we own to store them is far outweighing the profit they'll give us one day. Also, there are like a million other nerds like you and him that have probably done this.

So when everybody goes to sell it in 20, 30 years. It's going to be expensive one day. You've just got to wait out the other nerds like you and him that have probably done this. So when everybody goes to sell it in 20, 30 years. It's going to be expensive one day. You've just got to wait out the other nerds that are going to crack one day or have kids

and the kids are going to open them to play with them. And then you've just got to count on that happening 10,000 times around the world. Yes. And then yours become significantly more valuable.

Yeah. I would like to know, listening right now, what are you holding on to because you think it might be worth something one day? Have you got something? It's just junk, eh?

See, I just don't have anything collectors-wise. Yeah, you live a minimalist lifestyle. I love the minimalist. I don't like junk. God, you are just going to hate my house. I love things. Not junk, but we're antique-y collectors of all sorts. Knick-knacks.

Knick-knacks. Yeah. All right, well, 0800DARLS.M, we want to take some calls. You can text as well, 9696. What are you holding on to because you think it might be worth some moolah one day? We want to know what you're hanging on to because you think it might be worth something one day. It probably won't be. Probably won't be.

Renee, what are you collecting? Hey, I collect comic books, and I've collected since I was around maybe 12 or 13. Wow. How many do you reckon you've got at this point? I've got heaps, but they're all in the, like, you're talking about the clicky boxes. They're all in clicky boxes and folders.

They're all labelled. They've all got stickers on them. It's pretty good. A good, short, sharp house fire will take care of that. Don't even joke. Could be worth more than KiwiSaver right now. After the big dip.

Maybe. I know that some of them when the X-Men and Deadpool movies came up. That's good. That's going to boost them. What do you reckon is your most valuable comic? You got like a Spider-Man one Or a Superman one Nah

I've got a few of the early Kind of early X-Men ones though And a few of like I said the early Deadpool ones I reckon they're probably worth a bit I had someone who offered me 1500 ones But he wanted to split them up So I was like no Alright Janine thanks Renee thanks, you're called Jan the whole collection. Brilliant. Nice splits, nice splits. Alright, Janine,

thanks. Renee, thanks. You called Janine. What are you collecting that could be worth some money? Well, my husband started collecting rugby league cards when he was a kid. Oh, yeah. So we've got, I don't even know how many boxes and collector's albums.

Are they unopened? No, the cards are unopened and they'll be in display. Oh. Cards, man. Yeah. So I reckon if you got a Matthew Ridge, that'd be pretty worth $1,000. Yeah, big money there.

Cliffy Lions. Big money, yeah. That was a big deal. Alfie Langer, talking 80s Broncos, Alfie Langer. I do not know any of those people. We already have all of those with like Series 1, Series 2.

How often does he take them out to enjoy them? Well, he's got them out on a bookshelf sort of thing. Oh, my God, you let him display them. You are an angel. There's no way Vaughan would be allowed to display anything. Janine, thanks for your call. Sarah, what's the item you're holding on to? Yes, hi. McDonald's toys, still in their call. Sarah, what's the item you're holding on to? Yes, hi.

McDonald's toys, still in their plastic. I've seen these. How did you manage to hold on to them and not play with them? Well, I used to work at McDonald's back in the 90s. Oh, you pocket them? I don't know. Show sponsor could be listening. You know what, Sarah?

I think McDonald's Is still doing okay financially Yeah they're alright Yeah but these Are really cool ones So I've got like I got given By the owner A musical box

That you open And you turn it And Santa Claus Is behind the counter I don't remember that one No it was It was a limited edition thing That he gave to

All his restaurant managers At Christmas Oh that's weird Because people People go crazy For McDonald's No, it was a limited edition thing that he gave to all his restaurant managers at Christmas. Oh, that's weird. Because people go crazy for McDonald's and Coke collectibles online, don't they? Yeah, big time. Correct. Well, I've tried to look for this one online and I can't find it anywhere. I think I found one in Malaysia or something.

Oh, wow. But other than that, I haven't seen it anywhere. So I don't even know what it's worth. Have you looked up the value at all? Well, I've tried, but I can't find it. It doesn't seem to be, yeah. I reckon you need to list or inquire on

eBay in America where all the crazy collectors are that are willing to pay some good money. Yeah, but I've got a really cool one. Snoopy and 101 Dalmatians and all that stuff. Do you have the one, I remember these were like the piece a la resistance

of my childhood McDonald's toys, the hamburger that transformed into a robot. They were like McDonald's Transformers. Yes. I've got the whole set. Oh, my God. You rule, Sarah. Amazing.

I love them. Sarah, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. I'm surprised we haven't heard from more people who collect Air Jordans or like specific sort of sneakers. Someone said our spare room is full of those shoe organizer boxes and pairs and pairs of Air Jordans on display. We don't even have a storage because our wardrobe is full of original shoe boxes too. You never wear them, eh?

No, because I reckon two or three months, two or three times a month when I come to work, there'll be people lining up outside like Foot Locker all the shoe shops wow and they have they stay overnight to be the first in store how much do you reckon these mud soaking

Chuck Taylors are worth do they 30 are they smelly yeah yeah my famous feet have been in them oh you stinky

stinky feet have been in them 20 bucks on Trade Me there you go I'll take it find the right bar 100 plus sure well you feet people oh yeah god I could sell a few things 20 bucks on Trade Me There you go I'll take it Find the right buyer I reckon 100 plus Sure Well you

Feet people Oh yeah God I could sell a few things And make a bit of money But I don't want to But they won't Because they don't want My soul being captured

By these folks Somebody said Pokemon cards I've been collecting Pokemon cards Since they were first released I've got some that are worth A right lot of money.

They haven't exactly said how much, but obviously more than they paid for them. We have a World War I Rolex. We thought it was worth over $30,000. We had it valued, and they said, nah, these were everywhere, and they weren't that good. $7,000. You'd be gutted. Still $7,000 for a watch.

Yeah, that's not bad. That's crazy. But the gain, if you've inherited it and it was a family thing, it's got to that point where you never get a family heirloom once you've sold it. You can never get it back. Someone said, I've got a lot of Spice Girls merchandise. Oh, okay. Do you reckon my 52 Barbie dolls that I've drawn over and cut their hair off

and they're all out of the box and they don't have their clothes anymore, do you reckon they're worth anything? No. It's hate. It just sounds like you've got a lot of crap at your house. I really need a garage sale.