ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st March 2023

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Top 6: Robot Pilot  Washing WHAT in the Dishwasher??  Silly Little Poll!  Next Flight!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. Now, two things. Two things. We had so many messages today during the show.

Very soon on the podcast, we will delve into the cruel, horrible things that you did to your teachers. So many that we could not read out. Horrible. Just purely because we didn't have time, not because they weren't appropriate for on air. We thought we'd delve into more of those soon. You bloody bastards.

But first, I want to deal with this. Long-time listeners of the show and the podcast will know that you offer a certain skill. That's correct. March 2016, I started Smith Architectural Consulting, specialising in accidental genitalia and design identification consultancies. So any new build or any new statue or anything. Logos, designs, skate parks. Yep. Send it to Vaughan.

Playgrounds. A nominal fee. Is it a flat fee or just depends on the project size? It depends how obvious the cock and balls are. Okay. Or the vulva. The genitals. The genitals.

How obvious the genitals are, yeah. Well, the NRL in Australia have not used your services. I'd be interested to see this. Because the new AFL logo, X-rated Toyota logo, has been mocked by fans. You'll see that on the field there. Those are uterus and some ovaries. There's fallopian tubes coming off the sides there. Fallopian tubes. Yeah.

And so they've obviously said they haven't thought that through. That is straight up a uterus. Yeah. And so they've obviously said, you know, they haven't thought that through. That is straight up a uterus. Yeah. Like, how did nobody see that? That looks like a medical drawing of a uterus. A uterus. Yeah. That's the Toyota AFL logo, if you want to check that out.

But you could have used your services. Actually, funny she brought that up. Matt Williams, one of our listeners from overseas, recently spotted a September 11, 2001 memorial. Oh, I've seen this. And it's the Twin Towers with, I guess, from the other side, this is a person in a coat, but that just looks like a big cock. With quite a thumping head.

It's a real suction causer. And it's been circumcised, hasn't it? It has been. Oh, they're no-phorian sites. Heavily circumcised. Wow, snip, snip. Tash also sent this in. This is homegrown.

This is the one I was telling you about, Fletch. Super Rugby Pacific fans, some special shoes you can order. You can get your name on to show support for your team. And I said, under the team's name, for example, the Chiefs, it says Chiefs and there's a rugby ball flying underneath it. That looks like a veiny penis with a very... Oh, it does. It looks like a veiny...

Oh, good Lord. A veiny cock on your shoe. It's a veiny cock. Doesn't it? Wow. It's as simple as that. And that's the thing. It's the same design.

The Crusaders, the Chiefs, the Highlanders, all the blues. Wow. All of the teams, it's a rugby ball flying with the swish lines, but not just like a little swish line, full swish line. It looks a little penis-y. So the swish lines are the veins. Yes. Oh, dear.

And if Super Rugby had just spent, what, $199.95 for your services, they'd instantly know that that was a cock. Bingo. Missed opportunity there. Yeah. Absolutely missed opportunity. Those photos are on our Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley International Podcast fam. Yes, scroll those down.

Feel free to join if you're not a member. Scroll, scroll, scroll. They've been posted. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Scroll down. Scroll, scroll, scroll. People know how to scroll. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.

Well, sometimes people switch it, and for me to scroll on my pad, you go up. Oh, no, I go down. I scroll to go down. I scroll the right way. I go down to go down. I go up to go down. Oh, and it's inverted, isn't it? Yeah, because if it was a touch screen, I'd go up to drag it down like that.

So it's the same on the pad. If you'd been playing the flying game, I would have to pause and go into controller settings and change it back to standard, not inverted. Yeah. What's worse is when you're playing a game and someone's got ordinary for walking, but inverted for flying. Monsters. Oh my God.

Yeah. I hate that. We change the controls. I hate that so much. Such a pet peeve of mine. We change those controls. Because we do so much gaming, don't we? I haven't done enough gaming lately.

I've been gaming this whole entire show. You've been gaming? What are you gaming? The game of life. You've been gaming the game. What am I gaming? The game of life. I'm gaming, mate.

I'm bloody gaming. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. Happy Florence and the Machine Day.

Yes, we are, aren't we? That's on today. How fun is that going to be? What a show. I imagine it'll be. You know, she's a real performer. Have you ever seen her live? No, never.

Oh, great. Vaughan, you got to see one of her first New Zealand shows ever, didn't you? He doesn't like to talk about it. He's a music kind of a trailblazer. He's the leader of music tastes and choices. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Saw her years ago. Years ago. Years ago. Laneway when it was like small and hardly. Oh, yeah. They actually happened in a laneway. Yeah. Yeah.

Don't want to go on about it. He was an original hipster. I don't know if you know. Yeah. I can tell. He still wears it in laneway. Yeah. Yeah. Don't want to go on about it. He was an original hipster. Yeah. I can tell. He still wears it in his soul. Yeah. That's me. He still wears the energy.

But I'm worried that you are prioritising Florence Tuesday over Taco Tuesday. Well. I don't think we're going to taco today. I don't think we're going to taco. Not a pre-Florence taco? I think we're going to do pizza. Well, it's just easier for a group.

It's just easier. If you fold a pizza in half, it almost has a taco-y vibe. Yeah, we could do that. Okay. Just, you know, keeping the spirit of things. Not a bad idea,

that, actually. Yeah. Carbs with a sort of stuffed filling. I was thinking of making some guacamole. Oh, I love a guac. Yeah, yeah, guac.

Bit of a homemade guac, but that's dependent on... That's very avocado-dependent....bags of reduced-to-clear avocados. Oh, yeah, guac. Bit of a homemade guac, but that's dependent on... That's very avocado dependent. Bags have reduced to clear avocados. Oh, yeah. Not a name for that. Rotten. Because that's the thing, they're either hard as a rock or rotten.

Spongy. When is avocado season done? They're still kind of cheap. Different sorts of avocados come right at different times of the year. Yeah. You've got your haas, you've got your bacon, you've got your... Are they those round... What are those really round ones?

Those ones are weed avocados. Yeah, they're weed. What are those ones? Is this really? A creamy one of those. Yeah, okay. Because it doesn't purple up. Yeah.

I've got a big soggy bag of coriander in my fridge that's, you know... Aching to be used. Aching. I might bring it. Just said to get a slime. Yeah, it's got sludge. Aching to be used. Aching. I might bring it. Just instead to get a slime. Yeah, it's got sludge. It's got a slimy yellowing. Maybe not.

Maybe don't bring that. No, but it'd be such a waste to throw it out. I simply couldn't. Put it in your guac. Moolie it up. You won't know the difference. Yeah. We'll be chucking it into a cocktail.

Eh. Coriander cocktail. Eh. Get in your cocktail. How about that? Eh. We're going to go a bit mild tonight, I think. We, get in your cocktail. I don't know about that. We're going to go a bit mild tonight, I think. We've got to work tomorrow.

Coming up on the show this morning, next flight. We've got our next flight out of here, thanks to Graber Seed, and our next contestants in at 8 o'clock this morning. Where are they going? Nobody knows. We don't know. Do you know? Yesterday our winners went to Sydney.

Sydney. Australia. So we'll see where they're off to. Eight o'clock. But you can register as well if you want to be selected. After today there'll be, what, four flights left? Yeah. So ZM Online to register. The top six is coming up.

Yeah, the top six ways of knowing that your pilot's a robot. Apparently pilotless planes on the horizon. Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that. No, if I'm going to hit the ground, I want it to be the result of human error. No, not robots. No. Yeah, something feels better about it, doesn't it?

Yeah, I want to be smashed into the ground by a human. Next on the show. Well, oui, oui, I have some news from France. I have some news direct from our French correspondent in France. That's pretty good. Did you learn that in the acting school? In the acting school, yeah, Oui Oui. French.

We did one whole year. On French. On French. Not actually learning the language, just doing an accent. No, just sort of a roundabout sort of a French accent, you know. Feels like it would have been better spent learning the actual language itself. Why, when you can do this and speak the English in the French accent. Uh-huh.

Anyway, uh-huh, I have some news direct from France. It concerns the parents. We're talking now. We're talking now. ZM, Mae Stevens. Did she not think of doing A sort of soft fade out Or No it's only a two minute song

Gone are the days She just stops In the middle of it Where we're just having a We could have a big old chin wag We could have a big fat chin wag These songs have been two minutes For bloody

Ages now It's a weak excuse Go back to five minute songs It's very unprofessional from you Oh my god It's very unprofessional When we were at My Chemical Romance last weekend,

well, last, last weekend, the bloody, every song was five minutes. It was great. Some of them were ten. How delightful. Imagine the things we could get done. Probably why they only played ten songs and then one for the encore.

Yeah. Length. We haven't let it go yet. We travelled to France for some news. The French MPs have approved a legislation that aims to protect the privacy of children online. Unanimous was the vote. Okay.

To adopt a new law that will prevent parents from posting photos of their kids on the internet. Oh, how good is this? We're not going to have feeds clogged up with parents with new kids showing every time they move. Yeah, your kid is not as cute as you think it is. Like, good for you that you did it. Yeah, congrats.

But it's just a kid. It's just a squishy face. In fact, they look a bit weird. Sort of a strange looking child. Bourne, do you have anything to say on this? Nope. Cool. One of the MPs said

that a 13-year-old child has an average of 1,300 images of themselves circulating on the internet. And that's just like public domain. That is so many. Yeah.

And like children, especially younger children, I mean 13, they're kind of starting to get into social media anyway. Yeah. And they might choose kind of what they share with their friends. But younger, they can't really consent to it.

Especially babies, toddlers, little children. It's basically to say that the parents don't have absolute right over their kid's image. Right. So it's giving ownership back to the child. What if it was on lockdown? What if it was a private account? Yeah, that's what I was thinking. So that they could approve who saw the image,

but it still doesn't give the child any power. So what, France are going to say no to all of it? Yeah, no to all of it. Okay. On social media. Right. But still have like a thousand photos in your camera roll. Just don't be of it. Yeah, no to all of it. Okay. On social media. Right. But still have like a thousand photos in your camera roll. Just don't be posting it.

Yeah. Ten other weird laws of France. Okay. Oh, you got some weird laws? Snails must have their own ticket on French trains. Whatever. Now, Ramona, animals weighing less than five kilos must travel with their own ticket. That includes the French's favourite breakfast treat.

He was travelling in 2008. A Frenchman was travelling with snails. Yeah. And he got a ticket. What if they could fit? Got a fine for not having the ticket. They can fit in the overhead compartment. Because trains have the little overhead bit.

Yeah. You can put your bags. You can't name your pig Napoleon. Yeah, I knew that one. That was rude to Napoleon. You can't kiss in a French train station. What? The delays caused by couples kissing their farewells on French platforms became a problem.

So the French law prohibited making out once the train is pulled up to the station. But it's literally called a French kiss. Yeah, but you've got to do your French kiss before the French train arrives. Right. Women who want to dress like a man have to ask the police first. French women are known for their feminine fashion sense. Officially, if you'd like to wear a pantsuit, you must get authorization from the nearest precinct.

Another weird law that frowns upon a woman wearing pants states that the only exception is when they're riding a bike or a horse. Right, that feels a little antiquated, that one. Yeah. In 1994, a law was passed that 40% of music played on French radio stations must be by French artists. Oh, goodness. Wow.

They must have a lot of French music. Yeah. A lot of accordion-based. A lot of ooh-la-la. A lot of accordion, yeah. A lot of accordion based. A lot of ooh la la. Kids aren't allowed ketchup. You're not allowed to have ketchup at school cafeterias because it's got too high sugar content. Okay.

There's a town where you have to say bonjour. You have to. They're trying to keep their title as the most polite French town. Right. Which wouldn't be hard because on a whole quite rude. You can write a check on a piece of toilet paper as long as it contains all the relevant information. You can divorce your husband if he watches too much football.

Yeah. You can put that actually as reason of divorce. And you can't get drunk at work unless it's on wine. Because they love a wine in the morning Love a wine A breakfast wine Yeah, a bricky wine Like a sparkling

Yeah, little bubbles, a light Prosecco They do that in Italy too With orange juice or no? No, no, no, just like with a bloody croissant Have a little wine Well yeah, they soak it up, hey Don't the kids drink in France? You can have a little

Red wine Red wine little... Red wine? Red wine or beer. Red wine with dinner? What if you had a couple of too many breakfast wines and you accidentally put on pants as a woman? Yeah. Oh, my God. You're going to be in prison.

And then drunkenly bought a pig and called it Napoleon. And then took it on a train without a ticket. You're going to prison. Imagine the criminal record. France is wild. France is wild. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. you're going to prison. Imagine the criminal record. France is wild. France is wild. Selena Gomez has become the first woman to reach

to what? The moon? To the moon. No. To reach 400 million followers on Instagram. So that's her moon. Seems paltry compared to going to the moon, doesn't it? It does. If you compare it to her becoming a female astronaut, yes. Just out of nowhere. She's like, doesn't it? It does. If you compare it to her becoming a female astronaut, yes. Just out of nowhere.

She's like, you know what? It's NASA for me. Yeah. Screw Disney. I'm going to go to the moon. Now, there's been this whole drama. We crossed out of the social media desk because it's... Younger than in here.

And I don't care. Yeah. I really have trouble caring about this. I'm lacking caring too. Gals, recap the drama, please. So basically, Hayley Bieber, Justin Bieber's wife. We hate her, right? Yes, we're not a big fan.

She's a good little girl. Should I hate her too? Yeah, probably. Okay, we hate Hayley Bieber. Why do you hate her? I don't hate her. But we don't want to be spreading hate. We're not here to beat her down.

Okay, so what should I do? We're just not supporting her. That's confusing. That's a confusing message. I'm not supporting. Yes. Because I was putting anthrax into an envelope as we speak. Well, it's contradictory, right, to hate on her when she's been hating on Selena.

Yeah. We don't want to be mean girls to a mean girl. We just don't want to support a mean girl. I want to be the bigger person. I thought we fought fire with fire. No, no, no. Do we pour gasoline? Are we pouring gasoline on this? Maybe not. Okay.

Okay, so Hayley Bieber. We're not a big fan. She kind of was giving mean girl energy towards Selena. There was a few posts that made it sound like she was body shaming and potentially making fun of her. And their eyebrows? Eyebrows. Yeah, the eyebrows. She over-lackered them.

Yeah. And then so you actually who did you unfollow? I unfollowed Kylie and Hayley. Wow. So you're team Selena. Team Selena, always. And so obviously a lot of people did because she is now the first to hit 400 million followers. Yeah, and Kylie fell off her perch

quite a bit. Gosh, she's only 382 million. How embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Although she's significantly richer. She's a billionaire. Yeah. Although Selena must be making some good money off of her makeup range. Yeah.

It's expensive. Does she even make her own makeup range? Oh, my God, it's the best I'm wearing it right now. What's it called? Carwin and I are obsessed with red beauty. I thought you said her makeup brand's called Carwin and I. I was like, that's a good name for a makeup brand. Rare Beauty.

Rare Beauty. It's so good. Get amongst it. Most known for its pigmented blush is the most popular product. Now, can I get that at Farmer's? I've got a voucher. No. Oh, okay.

Sephora, sadly. Sephora. Sephora, you idiot. I went to a party once with a bit too much pigmented blush on. I noticed. Let's hope those photos never see the light of day. Oh, my God. I just went a little heavy handed.

I know, quite heavy. On the pigmented blush. You look like you were permanently embarrassed. Yes. Okay, this looks like nice makeup, actually. It's great. Can recommend. Love the tinted moisturiser. I don't need makeup. I've got quite a natural face. Yeah, like nice makeup, actually. It's great. Can recommend. Love the tinted moisturiser.

I don't need makeup. I've got quite a natural face. Yeah, you're a natural beauty. Quite a natural beauty. Well, you've definitely got a face. That's undeniable. Yeah, and it was, I grew it myself. Yeah.

Untouched, currently. The most natural of faces. Yeah. Next on the show, this is a bizarre. Wait, so that entire story was a woman has 400 million Instagram followers. Yeah. Yeah, but did you not get the goss? We crossed to the girls for the goss. For the goss, yeah. And the makeup. Now we all know what the makeup

we need to buy. Do you want to talk about a man that's got 400 million? This is what he does. Oh, wow. Yeah, because you said first woman. You said first woman. So who has more? I don't know. Who has the most? Vin Diesel's probably got like 500.

Cristiano Ronaldo. How many's he got? 555. 555.7 million. She's catching up. Wow. It's all football. Oh no.

Instagram has the most. And then Ronaldo, then Lionel Messi, and then Selena Gomez, then Kylie Jenner, then Dwayne Johnson, then Ariana Grande. Okay. Where am I? With everything I've got, like, 28. Just out of the top 10.

Oh, just out of it. At Hailey Sproul. No, but it goes Hailey Sproul, Kendall Jenner, Nike. Wow. You've lost a few, though, because you got an Audi. You became an Audi ambassador, and people think you've lost touch. Yeah. Yeah, they do.

They don't like that. Yeah, I've lost my hut roots. Yeah, that upper hut girl. Trying to calm. No, lower hut, lower hut. Lower hut. The real hut. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

A survey conducted in the United Kingdom surveyed only mums. Okay. Had to be a mum to take part in this. Thousands of mothers did. Asking who were the sexiest men in movies. Now, who does the... People magazine does the sexiest man of all time. Sex man of the year.

Yeah. And they're always the people you think it is. It's always a Hemsworth or one of the Chris's. A lot of Chris's in the industry. Yep, yep. This list, however, somewhat different. I'll give you the top ten as voted by hot, flushed mums from around the United Kingdom. Number 10, Bradley Cooper.

Okay. Makes sense. He's a cutie. He's a cutie patootie. He can be clean. He can be rough. Yeah. He's adaptable, isn't he?

And he's a bit of a bad boy, too. He's been through the ringer. Yeah. He's had his problems with addiction and such. He has. He's cleaned the whistle nowadays, though. Because of that Vegas trip. Yes. Yeah. I think he got cleaned just before the Hangover movies. He's cleaned the whistle nowadays though. Because of that Vegas trip. Yes.

I think he got cleaned just before the Hangover movies. And then did the Hangover. Or trade the Hangover movies. Boring. Number nine, they voted Alan Rickman.

Severus Snape. Okay. The bad guy out of the first Die Hard. I believe specifically as Snape. As the sexiest man. Number nine.

He was cheated on his wife in love actually. Yeah. It was a real piece of. Number nine. He was cheated on his wife in love, actually. Yeah. He was a real piece of work, a man. He was a prized fool. Yeah. A prized fool. Okay, above Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman.

Okay. Number eight. How old are the mums, as they asked in this poll? Well, we're getting a feeling, aren't we? Because just above him in number seven is Harrison Ford. Okay. Grandmas or mums as they asked in this poll. Well, we're getting a feeling, aren't we? Because just above him in number seven is Harrison Ford. Okay. Grandmas or mums? Just mums. Okay.

Then above that is John Wayne. Above that, Robert... Who's been dead for ages. Above that, Robert Redford. Redford was a dash back in the day. I reckon this is more grand. This doesn't even feel too old for my mum This was mums

Not new mums This must be like grandmas Fourth spot, Patrick Swayze Dead Oh yeah, this is old mums Lot of dead people in here Robert Redford's 86 years old Good lord

I'm going to get my eyes on him I'm going to see what year John Wayne died I feel like it was 1979 He's been dead for 43 years. Who made this list? This is ridiculous. It's mums. Okay, we've got Patrick Swayze in fourth.

Then the top three. Third place, Tom Hanks. Now, Tom Hanks is a handsome man, but he's not sexy. He's a great actor, but he's not sexy. He's a fantastic actor. Number one, I'm going to jump. What's actor. Number one, I'm going to jump. What's number two? No, I'm going to jump.

Oh, you're jumping number two. Number one is Tom Cruise. The mums love Tom Cruise. Oh, he does his own stunts. They love that. Oh, he does his own stunts. Love, I love him. He's number one, but number two,

and I say this with respect to the dead, Robin Williams. Again. Again. Okay. A charming man. A fantastic actor. Yeah. Great comedian.

Not sexy, is he? This is, what a bizarre list. A very confusing list. A bizarre list. So bizarre. Can everyone just check in on their mums, please? Why are they so horned up for Robin Williams? Introducing us to men under 70.

Yeah. Robert Redford, really? Are there no good men in the UK? But none of those men are English. Quite a few mingers. Quite a few mingers in the UK. I mean, there's a couple of English guys in there, but those are predominantly American actors from the 70s.

Bizarre. Have they not met the Hemsworths? Yeah, there's the Momores. There's three Hemsworths. Yeah. Well, there's four. Even the Dud one, the third. He's young, he's virile. Terry Hemsworth. Old Marcus Hemsworth. Yeah.

Yeah. A very strange list. I wonder if they were talking about people, because I'm looking at Robert Redford as the age that he is now. He's a very old man. I wonder if at Robert Redford as the age that he is now. He is a very old man. I wonder if they're going back in the day. Were they like, who was your all-time

movie crush, maybe? Yeah. Patrick Swayze in this film. And they're remembering from their younger days. How did Brad Pitt not get on that list but Tom Cruise did? No offence. Even over Tom Hanks.

I'm just looking at a list of sexy men. Tom Hardy. He's rough, he's ready. Yeah, he's pommy. Yeah, Michael B. Jordan. He's built right, eh? He's got it stacked. Michael B. Jordan.

Yeah. Oh, I think in appearance alone, I think he could really rough it up. Do you reckon? You got your Chris Evans You got all your Chris's You got your Jason Marmore's See this is a better list Henry Cavill

This is a better list Ryan Reynolds Dwayne the Rock Johnson Shocking that Hugh Grant Wasn't on this list That's a sitter Hugh Grant I find Incredibly sexy

Do you? Yeah Why? Always have Always have It's his posh accent He's a bubbling fool Yeah. Why? Always have. Always have. It's his posh accent. He's a babbling fool.

And the British love a bit of that. Yeah, they do. Weird list. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Oh, hey. Today's Top 6, Top 6 ways to tell if you're a pilot or a robot.

Apparently, this isn't too far off. The pilotless planes. Piloted by an onboard robot computer. That's too weird. You've got to always have a human there, right? Do they mean like actual like big planes that we go on or are they talking like the future of like Uber where it lands in your backyard and then it... Hop in.

You hop in. I mean, if it's that, it's got to be only a step until it's the big planes as well, right? Yeah, scary. So I've got the top six ways to tell your pilot is a robot. Number six on the list, he's given the flight attendant he's sleeping with a virus. A computer virus. Oh. Ha, on the list, he's given the flight attendant he's sleeping with a virus. A computer virus.

Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Number five on the list, the top six ways to tell your pilot is a robot. It doesn't do the... When making in-flight announcements.

Oh, my God. I know. The flight I took back from Christchurch, the guy had such bad phone technique. You know when they go, it's like they go, with each time they speak. Hiya. Welcome aboard the plane.

And it was like this awful sound. Goodness. It's a bit like your mic technique. You should not walk up and knock and say, hello, I'm professional broadcaster Hayley Sproul. Let me tell you something. Pull the microphone away from the mouth a little bit. Welcome aboard this plane.

Talk across the microphone on your P's and your B's. Elaine. On this flight to Auckland, maybe if he enunciated. Yeah. This, this, this. Number four on the list

of the top six ways to tell your pilot is a robot. It doesn't fit the hat. A bit square. Too square for the hat. Too square. The hat won't go on.

Maybe they'll make Square hats for the robot They'll make big square hats Yeah That'd be cool Well they need to be In uniform don't they Yeah they do

Number three on the list Of the top six ways You can tell your pilot Is a robot You'll see it Walking to the plane It's pretty obvious It's a robot

It'll be like I am the pilot Meep Moop Meep Get out of my way Bleep bloop bleep Won't they just Always be in the plane No They're like, I am the pilot. Meep, moop, meep, get out of my way. Bleep, bloop, bleep.

Won't they just always be in the plane? No, they're going to go home to their wives. No, they're going to go to life. They've got a wife and family to go home to. Why do you want to enslave the robots? Let us go home to our wife and children. Are their wife and children robots too? No. Oh, my God.

What is wrong with you? They, whoa. Wow. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Am I cancelled? This is 1970s South Africa, okay? You can't tell a robot it can't marry a human. Robots can sleep with humans.

Wow, I'm so sorry. Wow, wow, cancelled. You just want all robots to just breed with robots. Yeah. So that they're purebred robots. I know, I've heard them say that too. Those robots, they come here and they just talk to other robots. Yeah. They make no effort to integrate with the and they just talk to other robots. Yeah.

They make no effort to integrate with the other humans. Integrate into society. Yeah. I'm going to come out and say Aaron's a robot. Wow. It's a secret we've been keeping. How progressive. For a while.

That's so progressive. Yeah, it was really tough for our family. Yeah. Yeah. To accept him. To accept him as a robot. Yeah. You've got there.

We've stood the test of time. Yeah. Wow. Bee-boo-boo-boo. I want to say? We've stood the test of time. Yeah. Wow. Bee boo boo boo. I want to say that to him. That is so cute. That is so sweet. Don't you try to get on board.

You were very anti-robot before. Number two on the list. Into robot relationships. Yeah. I just come from a different time, you know. Yeah, okay. I find that I struggle to relate. Okay.

Yeah. Number two on the list are the top six ways to tell your pilot there's a robot. It'll also vacuum the cabin during the flight and bump into things. Like a little flap from the cockpit opens and it just starts hovering. Low battery, returning to dock. What the hell is that? You don't want your pilot low on battery. No.

Well, you want him to return to the dock. He'll charge. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six ways to tell your pilot there's a robot. It really wants to fly to Oz to get a heart, and the co-pilot might be a lion. Oh. Yeah. Is the tin man a robot, or was he just a man made of tin?

He was a man made of tin. He was a robot. He wasn't a robot. He didn't have technology. He didn't have technology. He didn't have the technology then. Excuse me, in Oz? No. They had the robot.

Oh, no, I know it was a human in a robot costume, but the idea was, was he... Do you really believe that... When was that film made? That they had a robot performing the role? The snow was asbestos. It was. And her green face paint was lead.

Yeah. Wow. That movie green face paint was lead. Yeah. Wow. That movie killed a lot of people. But he was supposed to be a robot. No, he's not a robot. He was a tin man.

Yeah, a tin man is a robot. No, it's not. No, but he was made out of like an oil can. He was a can man. And then he could move again. He's not a robot.

Next on the show, deep dive into was the Tin Man a robot? No, that's not next on the show. Oh my God, if you go was the Tin Man, the first thing that comes up is a robot. What does it say? The Tin Man isn't a robot. He's a man made out of metal. But that is what a robot is. He is a man.

He's a cyborg. Made out of metal. In the general sense of a largely mechanical shiny metal entity, we know in fiction today, yes, he was a robot. The obsession with specifics of the term robot, android and cyborg, as well as their timing use is beside the point of what I think you're asking. No, that's exactly what I'm asking. He's a human mind and soul and so a tin body.

Let's say tin, he's a tin man. He is the tin man. Like literally it's in the title. He's a man man. He is the tin man. Like, literally, it's in the title. He's a man of tin. Not the robot guy. I always thought he was a robot. No. Apology accepted.

I always thought he was supposed to be a robot. Apologies to our robot and tin listeners. I won't apologize until I hear from the author themselves. Who wrote The Wizard of Oz? It was written by... Long dead. Long dead. Long dead. L. Frank Boom.

Boom. Boom. Okay. Well, the jury's out. I'm not... You can all apologise for saying... The jury's not out. He's not a razor.

He's a tin man. He's a tin man. Better say they stop sex. Now, there is an influencer on Tiki Toki that shared something real feral and people got very up in arms about it. She was like, you're cleaning your toilet the wrong way.

This is how I do it in my house. I don't know if she's American, but that was the character I dropped into in the moment. Yeah, it worked. And she gets her husband to remove the toilet seat from, you know, off the screws. Yeah. And then they put it in the dishwasher.

Yuck. Gross. Gross. Poop particles on that. How is that easier than just wiping it in place? Unscrewing this thing? Or just give it a spray with the disinfectant. And the thing that got everyone all rowdy up in arms about it is that there's like cups and plates in there as well

when she was doing it. Anyway, everyone like, it blew up online and everyone was like, you're feral, you're disgusting. And she was like, guys, it was a joke. Was it? Was it? Is she doing that thing where you say something and then you get ripped by your friend?

Stop joking. Oh my God, guys, it was a joke. Calm down. I don't wash Guys, it was a joke. Calm down. I don't wash my toilet seat with a dishwasher. So I'll tell you what's more interesting under that article.

I'm sorry, it's not a competition. No, but you know. It's not a competition on who's got the most interesting article. You know how like,

under. This article was in your prep. Under articles, it's got like, you know, links to weird things and websites. 18 surprising things you didn't know could go in your dishwasher hit me you want to hear some i want some

appliance knobs you know how like you know on your oven all the knobs you just take them off and you apparently can just put them in them no but they get all like grimy and stuff. Just wipe them. Microwave turntables. Too big. You put those in the dishwasher. You're too big. Too big. Where are you putting them? You must have a little dishwasher.

A little dinky. He's got a little dinky dishwasher. That thing's three times the size of a plate. It's a huge thing. You want me to stand it up? I've got a massive microwave and a tiny dishwasher. How big is your microwave? That's too big.

They're like that big. They wouldn't, they're like that big. They wouldn't stand up. They can fit. The arm would be like, tonk, tonk, tonk, tonk, tonk. Nothing's worse than sitting in the lounge and the dishwasher starts tonking. You hear a tonk.

Now I'm just imagining Vaughn's massive microwave. Well, if you think of that triggered Vaughn, here's another surprising thing you can put in the dishwasher. Fridge shelves and drawers. Where are they going to fit? You'd have to take out the top drawer. Thank you. Thank you can put in the dishwasher. Fridge shelves and drawers. Where are they going to fit? You'd have to take out the top drawer. Thank you.

Thank you, finally. She agrees. These things are too big. No, but the top drawer has the spinnery thing on it. You can't take the top drawer out. Wash them by hand. It's going to be a quicker experience. Potatoes.

If you have a large quantity of potatoes to prep, you can buy some time by using your dishwasher to rinse them. But it's going to get all soapy. No, you don't put soap in. I think you just do it. You have to. I've got rinse aid in mine as well. Oh, that's good.

God, you've got an Aldi and you use rinse aid. Yeah, must be nice. Must be nice. Let me tell you what else. Do you hot wash the potatoes or a short cold wash? It just says here just a quick rinse. Does it bash the potatoes around? Does it pre-mash them?

No, it doesn't pre-mash them. But yeah, it just sees here in brackets, make sure there's no soap or rinse agent in the dispensers before turning on. More interesting unusual items you can put in the dishwasher, loofahs and bath sponges. Oh, yeah. I don't wash those. Hair brushes, makeup brushes, and toothbrushes.

Ooh. All my nits in there. Yeah, I can see how that would work, though. But in the hairbrush, you'd want to strip all the hair out. You know how hairbrushes are always cloggy. Yeah, all the manky amounts of hair. Shower caddies, soap dishes, and toothbrush holders. Oh, yeah.

Because they all get manky and grimy. They get a little manky in the bottom. Washing machine detergent drawers. That and grimy washing machine detergent drawers that gets manky machine detergent you know where you pull it out and you put the

detergent in who washes their washing machine our washing machine is like I need to be cleaned I'm like you shut up clean

you need to clean my stuff first clean me it's like clean me it's like that's your job to clean I'm not cleaning you clean the cleaner

here's another one something you can put in the dishwasher baseball caps oh yeah because Don't clean me. It's like that's your job to clean. I'm not cleaning you. Clean the cleaner. Here's another one. Something you can put in the dishwasher. Baseball caps. Oh, yeah, because it doesn't morph the, because if you wash them in the washing machine, it destroys the shape of the hat and everything. Can you get those cages? Yeah, you can get a cage to wash them in.

You can get a cage, yeah, and it says that, yeah, it's better for them. Just use a wash cycle. I might try that. Jandals, flip-flopsops pet collars and leashes toys some people put their adult fun toys in there right oh dylan you have that waterproof yeah waterproof yeah yeah oh no i mean keys is another one because your keys are so gross no keys you don't wash your keys you get wipe them if you're consumed with them. Gardening tools and golf balls, rounding out the top 18 things to put in your dishwasher.

Weird. Gardening tools. You don't need to clean those, right? Just rinse them. Rinse them. God, some people are bloody stupid. Some people are, eh? I'm losing faith in humanity at an ever-increasing rate.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's all launches these days. Soft launch, hard launch, rocket launch. Medium launch. Extra launch. Launch time. Double X launch.

Big boats are called launches. Yeah. So if you were doing a soft launch with your new girlfriend or boyfriend, they're just kind of in the background of a photo. You might not tag them. Yeah. You take a selfie and they're just like there or someone's in the bed. Yeah.

Or like that time, Fletch, you were going around and there were two pairs of shoes at the front door. Yeah. That was a soft launch. Or a hard launch. It was a jiggly launch. It was a wiggly little spongy launch. That was not a launch of any kind. They just happened to be two pairs of shoes.

Ah, yeah. Right. So that's two pairs of shoes. Ah, yeah. Right. So that's your sort of soft launch, right? Yep. Now your hard launch is like, this is my boyfriend. I'm excited to present to you all my new boyfriend. Yeah. One month anniversary.

One week together, babe. I love you forever. You are my heart. And I was going to life without you, babe. Yeah. What was life like before I had you as my boyfriend three days ago? I will never remember. So that's a hard launch.

Now, there's a new type of launch. What kind of launch is it when the girlfriend has way more photos of the boyfriend, but the boyfriend has none of the girlfriend? What's that? That's called he's keeping his options open launch. Yeah. There's a miscommunication about where they're at launch. What if he's forced to put photos up of her?

What kind of launch is that? That's a by force launch. A reluctant launch. A duress, under duress launch. Under duress. Under duress launch. Under duress launch? So there's a new type of launch where you don't tell anyone you're having a baby until you've got the baby. And I love this.

This is wild. So let's do it all between our names. Somebody I know, and I know them quite well, I didn't know they were having a baby. And then all of a sudden they're like, baby. I was like, what? And they're like, oh yeah, we just kind of didn't, baby. I was like, what? And they're like, oh, yeah, we just kind of didn't tell anybody. I was like, wild. I love this.

Because as soon as somebody on Facebook puts up a baby scan, I hide them. Because you know it's months of incessant posts. My back's sore. You're not, like, that's what pregnancy is. Every woman's back hurt during that. This is what we need. Yeah. One post, here's a baby

And then shut up and show us the next photo When they're 21st Like two photos in the lifetime It's a big gap Yeah, that's enough That's a big gap And then also So the hard launch of your partner in this situation

Is not showing them until you're married Which is insane Which is what you're married. Which is insane. Which is what you're kind of doing. You're kind of, I think there might be like two photos of Aaron on my social media.

He hates her. He's a handsome boy. I don't know. Get that beautiful face out there. No, he gets a lot of story time, especially during the Renos because he's, you know, such a big man building.

Yeah, I actually know I've got a few of them now, but like against his will. He didn't want any. Yeah. And then when we got engaged, same thing, no post, no announcement. He didn't want it. Yeah. And then when we got engaged, same thing. No post. No announcement. He didn't want it. He didn't do it. Nah.

And when we get married. I believe you actually told me and said, don't tell anybody. Yeah, probably. I'm like, oh, we got engaged. Please don't mention this. Don't bring it up. Please don't bring this up. So you're a bit more like open about it. Yeah, we're a clunky launch. Okay, yeah, clunky. Clunky launch. Twelve years in and people are like,

oh, you engaged. But then I guess by the time you're married, all your friends know. So they know who your partner is or your now husband or wife. Maybe. He's not a very social guy. What does it matter

that you haven't put them all online? Well, I guess the question is like, why put them online? But you've got to keep the honeys away because you don't want them stealing your man because they think he's not.

Yeah, that's why I'm really putting up my wife just to let everybody know that I am still unobtainable goods. Yeah. And keep the honeys away. Yeah.

Yeah. Meow. Do they? She's like a fly trap. Yeah. The honeys are buzzing around me. Yeah.

Like I'm a big sunflower full of pollen. I feel like we spend quite a bit of time with you and I've like never seen these honeys. Because of my wife. She keeps them away.

She's like a little spirer. You know those things you light and you keep on the table outside and they slowly go around. Like a coil. She's citronella. She's citronella. She's natural and I love her. Even when you're not around her, these honeys, I've not seen them. Well, I'm soaked in her citronella.

We hang out quite a bit. Have you seen the honeys when we've gone out for breakfast? Yeah, no, I haven't. I haven't. I've not noticed the honeys. Right. But they're there and you're keeping them away. Okay, well, that's good.

The honeys come for Fletch, if anyone, out of the three of us. The honeys do come for Fletch. I haven't seen the honeys. Mystery man. I've seen the honeys. Mystery man. I've seen some honeys. Mystery man. I don't know what's happening here. And there's a man of mystery

that excites me. That's why you put two shoes in Instagram posts. Yeah. Keep people on their toes. Confuse the honeys. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

Hello. I was just trying on a new character. Okay. Hello. I can't believe it. new character. Okay. Hello. I can't believe it. What? Like lost? Pardon?

What was the character? Lost? She's lost. British. She's a sheep. You can't tell if she's 10 or like 17? Yeah, real. Hello.

Creepy. The more you're doing it, the creepier it's getting. Yeah. There was a student who was taking a test online. I don't get this. One of the girls I was away with for marching, she was doing some uni tests in the evening. And I was like, are they not, they don't watch you do it?

And she's like, no. I was like, wouldn't you just have the answers ready to go? Yeah. You can have all your references. Doesn't make sense. I think they call that cheating. Cheating. Yeah.

Wouldn't you just cheat? Well, that's the problem with this generation. They need to have their hand held at every corner. They want the answers to the test. Oh, but I'm so stressed about the test. I can't help it if we don't keep getting information to my head. So, you know, this doesn't surprise me. No.

Anyway, she was doing this test. It was going all right. And while she was doing it, because she's in the comfort of her own home, she decided to eat a meatball sub. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Wait, so she had a meatball sub on standby? Yeah, she'd made herself a roll.

She made it herself. This wasn't a purchased meatball. No, no, she just made it. It was like a little friend's thing with meatballs in it. That's a ballsy maneuver. That's a ballsy with meatballs in it. That's a ballsy maneuver. That's a ballsy maneuver for a home. That's a ballsy maneuver. Yeah.

I guess if you had leftover meatballs. And some bread. Some hot dog rolls. But then did you say was it like a hot dog or a sub or was it a sandwich? Well, like an American sub. Okay, you're right. Like a long bread. Right.

With meatballs in it. Okay. Like a baguette. Anyway, so she was doing this test. No, I'm munch, munch, munch, munch. Smart, smart, smart, smart're right. Like a long bread. Right. With meatballs in it. Okay. Like a baguette. Anyway, so she was doing this test. No, I'm munch, munch, munch, munch. Smart, smart, smart, smart, smart. Doing her thing. And then a meatball dropped out of the sub,

landed on the keyboard, and submitted her test before it was finished. How do you do that? Well, like by being a silly fool eating a meatball sub over the keyboard. I mean, I've never done an online exam, but is it like when we have to do those things at work? You know, when they ask you if you like things?

When you do the exam... Can I just get clarification on what the thing at work we do is when they ask us if we like things? You know those surveys and it's like, do you like working here? Would you recommend... Yeah. Yeah, do you like working with Vaughan? Employment satisfaction survey.

Yes. I had a good. What did you say? You know, when it was like, do you like working with Vaughan? It was like zero. Absolutely not. To absolutely would recommend Vaughan at 10. What did you put for Vaughan?

On the count of three. I thought it was weird that the whole company was asked why specifically they liked working with me or not. But I did like my moment in the spa. You're very grating. Yeah. Some people say grating. Yeah. But this is like with me or not. Yeah, but I mean, I did like my moment in the spa. You're very grating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people say grating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But this is like with these youth ones. Honoured. Six. By the way, honoured. Six. What did you put? Five. Most people put honoured.

Put honoured. Honoured was 11. Honoured was 11. Honoured was right in their own box below. If the scale doesn't aptly reflect your feelings I'm working for, please write a few words. But do you know any of those kind of online things you have to fill out? You progress through and then right at the end, So if the scale doesn't aptly reflect your feelings I'm working for, please write a few words. But do you know any of those kind of online things you have to fill out?

You progress through and then right at the end you put finished. Yes. With these university ones, you can't redo them. So once it's submitted, it's through. Oh, okay. Because otherwise you just go back in all night and tweak your answers. They're on a time thing and once you submit it, it's done. So the meatball, did it hit the enter key? The meatball

somehow fell onto the keyboard, caused a bit of a ruckus, and then the thing was submitted and she couldn't get back into it. I've written a song. Have you? Okay. On top of a bread roll, all covered in sauce,

I lost my poor meatball and it left up my course. Yes! Covered in sauce. I lost my poor meatball. And it effed up my course. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That was all I got up to. At the end, it was pretty good. It was pretty good.

Hey, Vaughn, stay in your freaking lane. Wow. Stay in your lane. Somebody's trying to do parodies, are they? Ellie's version tomorrow. I meted my test. I got a bad score. So back to the fridge.

I'll eat meatballs no more. Yeah. That was good. Why are you going back to the fridge if you'll eat meatballs no more? No more because they're going to get other food in the fridge. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to all make sense. It does.

When I do parodies. The music video will fill in the gaps. I try. Okay. Anyway, the score that she submitted resulted in a 39.17 score. Right. Meaning she failed. And so she had to email her professor and say,

I had some technical difficulties at outside distractions during the test today. I was gobbing a meatball. I was gobbing a meatball. I was gobbing a meatball, son. Something hit my computer and caused it to submit the test when I was less than half of the questions through. By something, I mean a meatball that had tragically fallen onto my keyboard as I was taking the exam.

The said meatball caused malfunctions with the laptop and caused the test to submit itself. I understand that a falling meatball is no excuse for a failing grade, but is there any possibility of retaking this test? And the professor came back saying, well, this is new and unusual, so I'm going to believe that it's true.

Well, even if it is made up, I'd just let them reset it just purely for entertainment purposes. Yeah, good on you. Good try. She got to reset it. Oh, fantastic. Meatball free. Did you watch her mark after she reset? No clue. Probably like still like a 42.

Because if she failed, that would just be a waste of time, right? I need to know the final mark. Wow. Stay tuned. I don't know. I'm never going to get the mark. Can I message her? What, in America? Surely this popped up on TikTok.

It's probably made up as well. Oh my God, why? It just said she got a better score on the exam. Oh, right. There's no meatballs present. Okay. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM.

Fletchford and Hayley's silly little pose. Silly little pose. It is so silly, silly, silly. ZM. Today's silly little poll, hugging your co-workers. More, please. More, please. More, please. This is in the news, though, because people have been hugging and it hasn't been well received. But I don't think they're your kind of hugs. I think they're old man, you know,

hugs. Come here, sweetheart. Oh, right. Yeah, those kind of hugs that linger. There was a lingering hug which landed a man in employment trouble. No, you've got to have a consensual hug. A two-way street. Yeah. No, you've got to have a consensual hug. A two-way street. Yeah.

You just bowl up to people and wrap your arms around them. I do, yeah. Some people don't like that. That's how I show my affections. My respections. Do you hug your co-workers? 56% of people said no. 44% of people said yes.

So close. Okay. A lot of those would be tradies. They don't really hug. Are they tradies don't hug? Well, actually incorrect. Really? Cam says, hell yes.

Even sometimes big tough tradies need a hug. Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's good. Joe says, physical touch should not be allowed in the workplace unless you are dying and even then just wait for the paramedics. Okay. Joe works for HR.

Helen says I usually click their backs in the process so it's a good back crack hug. Oh. Wrap the arms around pull in the lower back

and just lift them a little. Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop. I was told very clearly in my training do not touch your co-workers. Really?

That's from Kelsey. That's from Kelsey. Do not touch your co-workers. Where does she work? You've got a massage table, haven't you Vaughan? And you do the hot rubs at lunchtime. Yeah. That wouldn't be allowed at

Kelsey's workplace. No, but that's people, they volunteer. Right, yeah, yeah. You're not making anybody get on the massage table. No, and I'm in the little pinny. I'm in the little pinafore. Yes. That's my massage dress. That's what I do, my rubs. And they're great rubs. Yeah.

I put on a little voice. Yep. It's very soothing, your massage voice. I'm going to give you a rub now. Yeah. Tight. You're tight. Very tight.

What's the matter? What have you got on your mind? Feeling quite a lot of tension in these shoulders. Tight. Victoria says, only the receptionist downstairs, but he's my fiance, so it's okay. Oh, relationship in the workplace. That would have started with a hug. That's a bit sexy.

Yeah. That's a bit sexy. Oliver says, jot that down, jot that down, jot that down. Jot that down. Yeah, couldn't agree more, actually. There's been a couple of jot down this morning for the HR handbook, isn't there? Yeah, there was a run it straight up. There was a run it straight up to HR. So there's two degrees of HR reports here at the show.

Jot that down. It will be presented in sort of a journal situation later. Run that up straight to HR. Straight on the phone immediately. Unfortunately, this morning, our security swipe cards aren't working. The entire building plunged into chaos, so we can't actually even make it to HR. Straight. On the phone immediately. Unfortunately, this morning, our security swipe cards aren't working. The entire building plunged into chaos, so we can't actually even make it to HR. No. So everything's a jot that down.

Everything's a jot that down this morning. Because what did you say, Vaughan? That was run it straight up? I don't think that's right. I can't remember the context of it. I'm sure it seemed worse at the time. Yeah, sure. With a little bit of time, we've had some time to reflect.

We didn't know at the time. It was more funny than it was offensive. Jonathan says, the only time you hug them is when they've been made redundant. Now, I don't know if that means that you hug them to console them or you hug them because they can't make a complaint against you anymore because they're no longer employed. Yeah, fair call. Yeah, right.

Maybe, but both. Danielle says, because I have a few I actually like working with and we're all in the shit show circus together, so we hug. Oh, that's nice. Sophie says, I'm 20 and I work in a lolly factory.

My dream job. With 50 to 60 plus year old men. Yeah. Something tells me they'd get the wrong idea if I started handing out hugs left, right and centre. Sophie, fair call. Can you imagine how many of the old men are like, hey, you want a lolly?

Come into my white van. She's like, no, I work in the factory as well. I'll just grab a lolly if I want one. What kind of, can she get us lollies? What kind of lollies? What kind of lollies? Ask her what kind of lollies. I don't know.

This is just screen caps of messages sent. Hunt her down, please. Shannon, please ask her what kind of lollies. What kind of lollies, factory? Can we get a discount for lots of lollies? I hope it's fizzy Coke bottles. Or those spinny top ones. You know I love those.

Oh, yeah. Those are yum. Don't screw your face up. I hope it's mint leaves. The spinning tops are yum. The multicoloured spinning tops in the pick and max. They're the best. Yum.

We've got better lines. Oh, he wants an aniseed wheel. I don't want an aniseed wheel. He wants a mint ball. Yeah, he does. A mint ball? A mint leaf. A milk bottle.

I don't want a milk bottle. He wants a freaking glow heart. I'm not really even a lollies guy. Not even a lollies guy. I'm not even a Lollies guy. I'm a Lollies girl. Fruit Buster. Ah, come on. Egg and Cream Macintosh.

Yeah, now we're talking. Egg and Cream Macintosh. What's the worst Macintosh? All of them. It's mint. All of them. Malt was yum. Malt's yum.

I don't even know what malt is. Coconut's yum. Coconut's good. Egg's the best. Egg's the best. Play don't even know what malt is. Coconut's yum. Coconut's good. Eggs the best. Eggs the best. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, TikTok has gone viral because a teacher who looks to be like in her 50s, 60s, lovely old lady.

Oh. It's not that old. 50s, 60s, lovely old lady. The O word? You're only a few years away from your 50s, 60s, lovely old lady. The O word? You're only a few years away from your 50s. She just looks cute and, you know, you imagine just a nice teacher. A gran.

No, I wouldn't say gran, just a nice, lovely teacher. Okay. Imagine that. Wholesome. Well, the students forced her out of the classroom. And this has gone viral because she basically mid-class packs up and leaves. And people are laughing. Yeah, I'm going to go. I don't even care if I don't get paid today.

I'm just a stupid old white lady. That's all. I'm just a stupid old white lady. And she said, I don't even care if I don't get paid today. Wait, what did they do to her? I don't know. Dude, relief teachers. I don't know what the current circumstances are. This wasn't a relief teacher. Oh, she was just a teacher.

She was the teacher. But relief teachers. Oh, my God. When they turned up. There were days where I just thought, oh, no. The mood in here is not relief teacher today. Oh, yeah. No.

Yeah, like I was in a good class and we used to just sit on them. Yeah. But that's the thing, like teachers were striking just last week. They don't get paid enough. No. Even during lockdown, parents were kind of showing. Yes. They were showing that they don't get paid enough.

No, yeah, they don't get paid enough. Pay teachers whatever they want. This is, because you remember when you were at school, right, what it was like. Oh, my God, yeah, we were horrible sometimes. Relief teacher was, they were the ones I actually felt sorry for. We used to have a teacher, he was one of the only male teachers at our school.

He was just, we called him Sir. And he, we used to sit in his class and hum and like really annoy him, like like a little buzzing noise. So everybody would do it because your mouths were shut. He couldn't tell where it was coming from. Oh my God. And you'd be like, who's doing that?

Who's doing that? Like doing what? And then like you'd just pass it around. Like you'd pick it up. Oh my God. You were gaslighting him. Yeah. I'm like, sir, calm down.

There's nothing. But when you look back, like, teachers were mocked for everything. Their hair, their dress, like what they wore. Oh, my God, yeah. But all I'm saying is if your last name is Brownsword, don't wear brown cords to school every day. Yeah. The dude wore brown cords every day.

And his name was Brownsword. And his last name was Brownsword. Which, enough. Give a 14-year-old boy Brownsword. I mean, you can see where we're going. We ran with it. And then Brown, maybe you wore brown cords to take it away from Brownsword. But every day.

Man, I feel for teachers. So do I. Okay, how's about this? Carween, how bad did it get at your school? Look, I was in one particularly naughty class. Not myself, obviously. No, not you. And we went through four teachers in one particularly naughty class. Not myself, obviously. No, not you.

And we went through four teachers in one year. Because they quit. So three teachers all quit. One quit during a class. Like that? Yeah, like walked out, was like, I quit. And we never saw him again. Wait, did he say I quit? Yeah.

Oh my God. But what were you all doing? Just generic naughty things, I guess. Not paying attention. Didn't want to learn. Just throwing paper. That would be me if I was a teacher. I just couldn't handle it.

I'd swear a lot. Yeah. How good was it when the teacher would be like in a mood and they'd disappear and then you'd see them coming back and you're like, oh, here they come. Uh-oh, principal's with them. Yes. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, principal's with them. Yes. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Oh, my gosh. And then. Uh-roh, roh, roh, roh. You'd be like, ah. So that's what I wanted to ask this morning with this teacher quitting the class, mid-class, storming out. She'd had enough of everyone's shit.

Mm-hmm. How bad did it get at school? 0800-DARLS-AT-M, 9696. What's the worst thing that you did to a teacher as a class? Oh, we put a fake spider in Miss Fraser's drawer and she was afraid of spiders. We didn't realise that she opened it and burst into tears and left.

I'm sorry, Joe Fraser. What did you put a spider in her drawer for? Was it just a spider? You're like, I know where this will go. No, like a rubber spider, you know, like a toy spider, like a big one. I hope that these stories will all help us realise how much shit teachers deal with. How much we value them and how much they put up with. Yes, but at the time when we were at school, we didn't, did we?

Oh, my God. Any time our French teacher had sweat pits, we used to be like, Madame, Madame, ooh-la-la, ooh-la-la. And she'd go, ooh-la-la. We'd be like, heh-heh-heh. Because we could see her sweatpants. That is horrible. You were at a private, no, I expect this sort of stuff from a low-disc, public school.

Don't look at me. Why did you look at me? Or mine. Yeah. But your parents were paying a small fortune for you to go to that school. Yeah, and we tortured those well-paid teachers. We tortured them. All right. 0800-DARLS-paid teachers. We tortured them. 0800 Dials at Amazon number. Give us a call now. Text as well.

9696. What's the worst thing that happened to a teacher while you were at school? Mean people. Mean people. Talking now though about a teacher. It's been viewed nearly 10 million times. Jeebus. She quit mid-class, stormed out.

She said, I don't even care if I don't get paid today. I'm done. She had enough. And we want to know from you the things that you did to your teacher. The worst things. What did you put them through? Because I think we need to look back and realise that we were little brats. Yeah. And that

teachers deserve big pay rises. And they don't get paid enough to put up with your crap. No, they don't. It makes me sad reading some of these for the teachers. I know. And that's why a teacher messaged in saying, I'm a teacher. I'm worried that people will be getting ideas listening to you.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Bumhole. Well, I don't know if they needed any help. Come on. What I'm saying is she shouldn't have married Gareth Bumhole will... I don't know if they needed any help. Go on! What I'm saying is she shouldn't have married Gareth Bumhole. Like, keep your maiden name or go for a new name altogether. No matter how good a man Gareth Bumhole is, I would not marry him. No. I mean, I'd marry him, but I'd go for a whole new name.

We could get a whole new... Good morning, Mrs. Bumhole! See? Look how easy it is. But maybe it would be so out there that children would just overload.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wouldn't be able to tease Mrs. Bumhole. No, I think we do need to all have a look at this. Yeah. And if you're at school now. And that's the other thing,

people, lots of people messaging on what they did, but then at the end being like, I regret, I'm so full of regret now that I'm an adult thinking what it must be like having 30 kids sit on you. Oh, regret. I'm so full of regret now that I'm an adult.

Thinking what it must be like having 30 kids sit on you. Oh, God. I don't even want one. Well, Sarah, you're a teacher. Good morning. Hi. What's the worst a class has done to you? So I thought it was week four.

And I was like, you know what? I'm going to sleep soon. I won't do my makeup. And yeah, I heard all about it before nine o'clock. I go, where are your eyebrows? You look really tired. Did you forget your makeup? Where are your eyebrows? What age were you teaching?

Year two. Year two! That is ruthless. I thought high school. Because they notice these sorts of things. I mean, kids are pretty brutally honest because they don't have that filter. They are, yeah. Oh, God, Sarah, I don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you do it. Yeah, I've worn makeup every day since. Oh, babe. Except the course in XA, it was, oh, your eyebrows are back now. And I was like, I can't win. Oh, no. All right, keep your calls coming in.

0800-DARLS.M. You can text 9696. The worst thing that you did to a teacher. These are going to be terrible. We have had... Jesus wet. We've had some responses. A teacher in America,

it's been viewed like 10 million times on TikTok, quit mid-class and you can see the hope and the life is drained from her. She's had enough. We want to know from you the worst thing you did to a teacher.

So many messages. I think we're. We want to know from you the worst thing you did to a teacher. So many messages. I think we're going to have to do a podcast special. We'll add some to the podcast. So catch up on the podcast later, wherever you podcast. iHeartRadio. Some of these are horrible.

So horrible. One of our teachers looked like a jockey. Are you sure? Must have been a little fella But was he wearing the pants and the shiny Yeah, yeah And the hat And the safety glasses

Yep Every Wednesday with sports day And quite often someone would go outside And bang the bell outside his classroom And he'd be like Alright, away you go, pack up It was always like 15 minutes before school Oh my god, that's so good.

That's so smart. Did they not have a bell on a timer? A ding ding ding bell. Yeah. Swapped names with my friends for a year, with my friend for a year at high school. A few years later I had to look after that teacher when I worked in the emergency department. The poor woman was so confused and I had to say no that's not my name. So she's like no for that whole year

that was your name. Am I concussed? No you're not concussed. We played a silly joke on you. I'm so on. So she's like, no, for that whole year, that was your name. Am I concussed? No, you're not concussed. We played a silly joke on you. I'm so sorry. A lot of people are feeling bad, though, in their text messages. Looking back, Emily, what's the worst thing you did to a teacher? I put a cockroach on my teacher's desk and I knew that she was terrified of them,

and she told me that she would give me a health point if I took it off, and I said, no, make it two. Oh, so you sound young, by the way. How old are you, Emily? Eight. You're eight, and you're already committing this sort of blackmail and perjury. Yep. Yep. So did you get the two health points?

Yep. And did she know that you put it on initially? No. No, wow, okay. Wow, you played her. Keep an eye on Emily. Emily's got big Hayley Sproul energy. Watch out for that, Mum.

Emily, thank you. More messages in. A teacher at our Intermediate had a Previous career in the Adult industry Which all students Found out

There was some Awkward father Some parent teacher At conferences wasn't there Well you get dads Wanting to go along To parent teacher Interviews I bet

Several videos were Circulated around the school She ended up quitting Oh my god I want to read that Juicy one of mine I'd read that juicy one she ended up quitting. Oh, my God. I want to read that juicy one. Am I allowed to read that juicy one about the... Yes, but don't say who. I'm a teacher and I've been hit by a child before

and the child that hit me was an MP's child. An MP, a member of parliament. I said, oh, who? All I'll say is that she's in the National Party. Oh, and the biggest problem was that the parents saw no problem with their child's behaviour. Which made it a whole lot worse. That's juicy. That's juicy, isn't it?

I want to know who it is. And I want to know now. I'm a teacher and I'm ready to quit. Oh. I was trying to break up a fight between two 10-year-old girls who were later on in the day best friends, but in the process of trying to break up the fight,

they turned on me momentarily. Aww. Just yesterday, I was punched in the arm by a student for asking them to be quiet and get on with their work. What? Punch? You should be able to punch them back. You all taser these children.

I don't care if they're children. Oh, punch the punch. Yes, give the teachers tasers. That sounds, I'm going to protest. Yeah. And that's going to be on my sign. Yeah, give them tasers. And more money.

More money. Give them tasers. Tases first, money second. Enough money so that if they want to buy their own taser, they can buy a real good one. Play Zed-E. Zed-E's Fletch for good one. Play ZM's Fletchford & Ailey. Play ZM's.

It's time to get the flight out of here. ZM's next flight, thanks to Grab A Seat. So yesterday, we sent a couple to Sydney, Australia. Australia. Today, Julia joins us

in studio. Good morning, Julia. Good morning. The bag is packed. She looks nervous. Yes. Very last minute. Have you packed warm or cold or both? As you can see, I've packed light.

You've packed light. Sunlight. It turns out I don't have a suitcase, so I found that out at 8 o'clock last night. You wouldn't give Julia a suitcase. I was going to say you can borrow one, but you never get them back. No, you never get them back. And they're always like dented.

Yeah, yeah. The local wheel will be busted. Yeah. Yeah, not saying that you'd bust our wheels, Julia, but it just happens sometimes, doesn't it? It just does. It's not on you. You go down some steps, funny, outside the hotel. Yeah, when she's rushing.

Yeah, look, it's just, it happens. Have you travelled much before? A little bit with my family growing up, and I've been to Rarau with my partner. But that's kind of it, really. Okay, well, you've got the passport, you've got your bag packed. But she doesn't know where on earth she's going. Find out next with next flight, thanks to Grave Seat,

where you're off to. It's time to get the flight out of here. ZM's Next Flight. Thanks to Grab a Seat. It's all thanks to Grab a Seat. Grab life by the seat. You can check out grabaseat.co.nz for amazing deals on flights. Now, all up, six flights to give away.

And you will be on the next flight out of here if you win. You just need to register at ZM Online. Joining us in studio, she's in the plane seat. We've got plane seats in studio. Now, Vaughan sat on them before Julia and said, God, imagine how many farts have been absorbed into these seats. That's because they're old.

Yeah, real nice. I gave it a sniff. Not too bad. You sniffed it. Now, Julia, we've mentioned your carry-on bag. Yes. Only very light carry-on. Yes, I'm manifesting a very warm holiday. So you have no cold clothing at all?

I mean, I've got what I'm wearing, but other than that, it's mostly just dresses and shorts in there. So I might need to make a quick stop. Because I know one of the destinations, that would not be warm enough. Is it cold? I don't even know where you're going. Am I supposed to know? I genuinely don't know. I pay attention to meetings, Julia.

I don't. I know things. To the frosty ski slopes of... Oh, dear. Let's open up the suitcase in front of you for some clues. Oh! Oh! I'm feeling good about it.

I reckon. What are you seeing? What are you seeing, Julia? Oh, okay. I'm seeing a lovely new bikini to add to my collection, sunglasses and some coconut sunscreen and a hula skirt. So I'm definitely feeling positive. All right.

Some shells. Should we find out where you're going? Yes. Settings. Next flight destination confirmed. Get ready. Get set. Your location will be...

Wula, Fiji. Thank goodness for that. I was hoping it was going to be Rarotonga because you said you've been. I know, I'd still be excited though. I know. It's amazing right now. I mean, the mooring fish sandwiches. Hello. I haven't had this. Oh. I know. I'd still be excited though. Dude, I know. It's amazing right now. I mean, the mooring fish sandwiches. Hello. I haven't had this.

Oh, la la la la la. I know. But I have been to Fiji. I fell asleep in a hammock and I got like very, very severely, badly burned. And I went as part of a radio promo. Are you trying to sell it? I'm just saying. I've got the sunscreen. You take the sunscreen. That's why you've got the sunscreen. Now, who

are you taking? Because you're on the next flight out of here later. Yeah, so in my typical fashion with my bag, I've left it very last minute. I've been trying to get my partner on board, but I'm just not sure, so I might be meeting my friend at the airport. I guess we'll just have to see. Oh, my gosh.

So the partner's currently on night shift. Yeah, yeah. It's very hard for him to get time off work, so we're just trying to get something organised. But I guess I'll know very soon. If my partner couldn't come, I'd just go on my own. Like, the idea of being in Fiji, oh my God, I'd love it on my own. You wouldn't take one of your best friends?

No, because she's got, like, kids to raise. It's not you. Nah, I'd go on my own. Julia, congratulations. Thanks to Grab you. Nah, I got my own. Julia, congratulations. Thanks to Grabacy. You are on the next flight to Fiji. Woohoo! I can't believe it.

Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. If you would like to register, we have four flights left and there are some pretty incredible destinations left to give away. Yeah.

ZM Online, register now. Next on the show. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So, like, when you've got clothes. Yeah, I have clothes. So, picture. I can relate.

So far, this is very relatable. So, for example, like, you've got some nice clothes, right? No, you've lost me. You're big, you've got some nice clothes, right? You've lost me. You've got a swan dry, a couple of holy AS colour t-shirts. And then when it comes time to part ways with these, because you're somewhat of a

celebrity, instead of getting rid of them, you could sell them and make a bit of money. I wear them until they're fit for nothing more than rags in the garage. And we've all been on trade, man. Someone's like, what's the measurement from the armpit to the other armpit? Oh my God. And then you reply and then they're like, what's...

It's a medium. Yeah. Take the risk. It's a medium. If it doesn't fit you, you're hard luck. Sell it again. Oh my God. I'm selling it to you for $17.

It's a medium. It's a medium. Like, take a bet. Go away. So celebrities are doing this. And not just like minor celebrities. Like this is from Daily Mail. And there's some British celebrities who are, you know,

like the Brits have a lot of sort of D-class celebs. You know, I was once on Treasure Island. Not Treasure Island. What's the one that they're all on? I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. But they had to be a celebrity to get on that. Yeah.

So they're all going on these websites and selling their clothes. I saw was Lily Allen selling something? Lily Allen. Yeah. And Charlie XCX selling a little one-piece bodysuit. Where do they sell all this stuff? Do they do it on their Instagram or do they like go on eBay? Right.

And they're like, I'm celebrity. Get me out. Oh, yeah, I'm a celebrity. I'm a celebrity. Here's my jacket I wore in this video. Yeah. And then they're getting all, they're not doing it for charity. They're getting $1,000 or whatever for a jacket.

Well, if they're doing it for charity, they're not saying that it's going to charity. They're getting $1,000 or whatever for a jacket. If they're doing it for charity, they're not saying that it's going to charity. And the thing I don't understand is, most of these people were gifted this stuff or it was bought for them for a production or something, or a show. And then they sell them.

Because the most famous one is Kardashian Closet. Closet with a K. Rolling your eyes. Everythinget with a K. Rolling your eyes. Everything's with a K. And they upload all their stuff, KardashianCloset.com, and they just like every, you can shop a wardrobe.

So you go shop Kim's wardrobe, shop Chris's wardrobe. So it's just their scraps. And it's their scraps. But for example, here's some earrings, right? They're emeralds and diamonds. They're selling them for $20,000.

This is an American website. $20,000 US dollars. So, like, what, like $35,000 New Zealand? Yeah. Dolce & Gabbana scarf for $400. It's just, like, they're old crap. They wouldn't be doing the admin. They're not taking a photo, writing the listing.

They'd have people doing it for them. But I just don't understand why they do it. I mean, I don't want them to't be doing the admin. They're not taking a photo, writing the listing. They'd have people doing it for them. But I just don't understand why they do it. I mean, I don't want them to put them in the landfill. These are like shoes and stuff that they've worn once. But what do you put them in the clothing bin? What do you like donate them? Yeah, donate them. Put them in the clothing bin.

So Kim Kardashian is worth $1.2 billion. And she's like, buy my scarf for $400. I don't know. One of these dresses are so ugly. Like it's a dress she would have worn years ago. Like it's so out of style. Look at this stupid skirt for $250. That's a pencil skirt.

Go to Pagani. You don't need that. She's selling, oh my God, a jumpsuit. One of those like Balenciaga jumpsuits that covers her feet and her fingers, you know, like a little catsuit. You can get those at Look Sharp for like $10. Yeah, exactly. Those morph suits, I think they call them.

A Balenciaga hat. It's just like all their tat from their wardrobe. Oh my God, there's a rabbit stole, like a big scarf kind of rabbit thing. Made of official rabbit. Made of official rabbit. Is that allowed? Are you allowed to use rabbits for that

because there's lots of them? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I suppose so. Peter won't like it. Peter will throw a bucket of blood on you. You're like a Balmain jacket and stuff. But people are loving it though. People are loving it.

They're snapping these items up. Dude, so many YouTubers go like, I shopped Kim's closet. And then they share the stuff and they'll show photos of like Kim wearing it. And then now I'm wearing it. And I paid like close to full price for this. Are they hoping some of it's going to rub off on them or something? Yeah.

Cool. I mean, I say this, I sell stuff on Trade Me and I'm pretty famous. I think when people pick up their clothes from my house, they're like, wow, wow. Or when you turn up to buy their taxidermied ferret. Yeah, they're like, aren't you that chick? Yeah, bro. Should you be buying taxidermied ferrets?

Hand over the ferret. Take my money. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is different languages have different quote marks, like speech marks. Oh, okay. You know, I go like this, I put my fingers up and I go,

doot, doot. Double. Two little spermies. And if, yeah, if you were going to write it down and the opening is two sixes and then the closing is two nines up by the top. Right. Yeah. That's what they look like.

That's ours. I always forget that there's a six at the start and a nine and then nines. But there's, I always just go line, line now. Why do you use one line? So, I actually have the answer to this. That is UK English. They use one line for?

One apostrophe. No, what do you call them? Yeah. Primary quoting. So, I believe if you were to quote yourself as a primary source, you'd do one, but if you were quoting somebody else, you'd do two. I like the one. I like the one.

Right. So, for example, he said you'd go double. Double. And then I said. I said to him. Single. Single, right. Yeah, but in the U.S., it's the opposite way around.

And a Z. And they use Zs And Zs and Ss and stuff But the French use double arrows What? So if you were in French and you were going to quote somebody You do the double arrows You mean like the brackets

But the sharp ones The sharp brackets Like greater than, less than Yeah, but two of them back to back So you'd open with, make it more like brackets or parentheses The sharp brackets. Like greater than, less than. Yeah, but two of them back to back. So you'd open with, make it more like brackets or parentheses. Oh, I think I have seen this. But it's two, so the open end is to the words. Right.

Spiky Pac-Man mouth. Yeah. And then I was like, okay, this is interesting. What do other languages have? And in Chinese and Japanese, traditional, they have, like, L. Like, you make an L with your hand to look at which is your left and which is your right. Who was I driving with? And they have those, like, to indicate this was what somebody said.

So they're more like brackets as well. Brackets, but on the angle. Yeah, yeah, like you were framing something. Framing. The short line on the top, long line down the side. Well, we were driving with someone the other day and we said turn left and they had to hold up their fingers to go which one was left.

That's very concerning. I could just feel it in my being. But around the world there's a whole lot of different ones. Mongolians, they put the lines above it. So you're like... What if it's a big long quote though? Well, okay. Maybe you just do the lines above it at the start

What do they do at the end? Español Spanish Spanish Spanish do both They do the lines like the French And the speech marks like us Oh no Spanish

Traditional Spanish is like the French Mexican Spanish Qu quotation marks. Like how we do it. Do they have a physical equivalent? Like when we do uh-uh with two fingers? Like uh, do-do. Yeah. I don't know.

They might poke it from the sides. Do-do, do-do. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. Now you look like you're just sort of being a gangster. Yeah. Yeah. Great idea.

Scissors from Paper Scissors Rock. Some start with speech marks, but the start of the quotes, Romanians and Serbians, that's sort of like Eastern European, the speech marks that start are on the bottom of the line and then the speech marks that finish are on the top of the line. Okay. How fascinating, right? They must have way different keyboards.

Yeah, they've got way different keyboards. Yeah, they've got way different keyboards. Yeah, they do have way different keyboards. Way different keyboards. And they've all got different names. The Norwegians call these goose eyes. Oh, yeah. Goose eyes. Goose eyes, yeah.

What's unique about the eye of a goose? I don't know. Goose feet. The Icelandic call it goose feet. Geese eyes. The geese seem to be quite well represented. The German called them little geese feet. The Icelandic call it goose feet. Geese eyes. The geese seem to be quite well represented. German called them little geese feet. Okay.

How feral are geese, eh? Oh. Yeah. So way too big. Oh, I don't like him at all. Close that. So today's fact of the day is not everybody just has speech marks around quotes and such. The French have a couple of little arrows.

Doot, doot. Doot, doot. Doot, doot. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I saw these on a lot of influencers.

Influencers. Yeah. Another great name for them. Yeah. Influencers. Influencers. Influencers. For a couple of years, and now a lot of celebrities are doing them too.

Halle Berry. The Princess of Wales has one. Charlize Theron. Katie Holmes. I hate to break this to you, the Princess of Wales has one, Charlize Theron, Katie Holmes. I hate to break this to you but Princess Diana's been dead since 1997. No,

the new Princess of Wales. Oh, there'll never be another Princess of Wales. No, there'll never be a new Princess. Not as long as I live.

She's the Princess of Wales but she's not the People's Princess. Okay. So don't worry, that title belongs with Diana and Diana only.

A lot of the Jenna Kardashians are wearing these. They are necklaces with either the name. Sorry, small burp. I'm having a coffee. Either the name or the initials of their lover. How do you, where do you get those from? They'd have to be specially made, right?

Michael Hill. Jeweler. Because like someone like you, you don't even get your name on like a souvenir anything. I don't want to do it, man. Oh, buh-buh. My name's in there.

No, there's like special companies that make them for you so you can order it and say, I want, mine would be AMGC, Aaron Michael Gerard Courtesy, or just Aaron.

So you would wear a necklace with Aaron on it. Yeah. I once had- Like you're his property on it? Yeah. I once had... Like you're his property. Yeah. I once had a necklace and the charm on it was a pair of calipers that you use in marching. It was like a marching necklace, like a measuring...

Pace measuring sticks. And everyone was like, oh my God, cute. An A for Aaron. And I took it off and never wore it again. Because I just... This makes me cringe so much. It feels like branding. Aaron.

Oh my God, cute necklace. What does it say? Aaron. That's my boyfriend. It's my boyfriend and I want everyone to know. I don't really want everyone to know. Lame. I've got to remain open at all opportunities.

Just in case what you run into. Jason. Jason Momoa. Oh, we're at Jason? Yeah. Oh, we're at Jason. It could be any Jasons though. run into. Jason. Jason Momoa. Oh, we're at Jason? Yeah. Oh, we're at Jason. Could be any Jasons, though. Jason Gunn.

Yeah. The Jason's Motel Guide. Yeah, you're a huge fan of the Jason's Motel Guide. Jason the... Farfoy. Yeah, Jason Farfoy. A bit of a what now thing going on there, didn't you, for Jason Farfoy? Yeah.

Yeah, Jason... I can't get Jason Gun gone out of my head. So is that, to you, that's the cringiest thing? It's one of them. I just think there's like branding or there's like public, like respect, but like tattoos with the name of another. Okay, question for the room. What is the cringiest thing that couples do that you hate?

Hate's a strong word, but like celebrating not anniversaries. Yes. Like monthiversaries. Happy autumn, babe. Yeah. It's our autumn-iversary. Happy Arbor Day. Yeah, happy.

Yeah. Happy Hanukkah My sweet sweet boy 248th day together baby Yeah I find that cringy Celebrating an anniversary Before a year What about PDAs? I don't mind a bit of PDA

I'm like good for you What about at the gym? Sometimes I see PDA And I'm just like whoa Yeah we know like They go whoa Where are you going to take this? Yeah

What are you doing to him? Yeah where is it? Are you going to walk around With that now? He's going to have to have a subtle tuck. He is. He's going to have to tuck that. Producers, producers, could we ask,

what is the cringiest thing a couple can do? Producer Jared? Like nuzzling or like getting real cutesy cuddly in public. But at home it's fine for a nuzzle and a cuddle. Where I can't see it, it's fine. You just want it out of your eyesight. It's just gross, guys. What are you like a nuzzle at home?

He's a big nuzzle. He wants to give me a little nuzzle. But why can't these people have a nuzzle in public? Because there's so many people. A nuzzle is a real private, intimate moment, you know? I could name a lot more private, intimate moments at home, Gerard. Yeah, nuzzle. You real private intimate moment you know? I could name a lot more private intimate moments at home, Gerard You probably don't do those in the street

No, absolutely not. Only if I've had a couple of times Carwin, what's your cringiest? I don't know I really get an ick for quite like lovey Instagram posts and stuff, but that's just because I wouldn't do it Just an appreciation post for my little man.

Especially if I know that you guys broke up because he cheated and now you're back together. Oh! Yeah, that's a good one. Shannon? Juice. Shanley at pyjamas at the social media desk. I'm pretty bad.

Anything flies for me. I just love love. I just want to see people passing on the streets, raised by hippies. I love when I see people pass in the streets. I'm like, get it. No, you can't pass. No time on the street. What about this couple that are at my gym, always PDAing. Do you PDA

at the gym? I mean, I don't work out, but I would. Stink. At the gym? No, you save it for when you're home or in the car park. I think because I don't work out, but I would. Stink. At the gym? No, you save it for when you're home or in the car park. I think because I don't have much time

with my partner, so when I see him... Well, that's because he's always disappearing as a magician. He does disappear. He's a magician. He's like,

I'm going to put on this hat. Where are you going? And she doesn't see him for like two weeks. Just left a rabbit behind. And a hat tips over and a rabbit pops out. Yeah, yeah.

So I think we've got to ask this question. If you're listening, what is the cringiest thing that couples can do? What about couples who like wear matching outfits? You know, like,

we're going to the supermarket in our onesies because we're so crazy. We're so kooky cool. Because every now and then it'll happen, Sharlay and I'll leave the house and realise that we're wearing

denim jeans, denim jeans, black t-shirt. Like, we're dressed very similar. jeans black t-shirt like we're dressed very similar no I mean like you're sort of dressed up okay okay

yeah like Americans that are on like cruise ships yeah and we're matching track pants we're matching my mouse twacks out oh my god

your American accent has come so far that wasn't American that was just I don't know what that was you're just supposed to be a baby voice. He's a baby. We want to take your calls now.

0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text as well, 9696. What do other couples do that you just find so cringe? Is it the new necklace trend where you wear your partner's name on a necklace? PDAs, whatever it is, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey-IT-M. What do other couples do that you find so cringey?

I didn't realise I was going to find this all so gross. I love love and I'm very intimate and what's the word? Affectionate. Affectionate. Thank you. Not intimate. I'm very intimate with my boyfriend in public. Affectionate. Affectionate. But there's something intimate. I'm very intimate with my boyfriend in public. Affectionate.

But there's something about other people's love that it's like, no. And the new trend of couples' names on necklaces. That's too far for you. Like your Margaret necklace. I'm so glad you've stopped wearing that. Well, that's because we broke up. It was a long name, too, for a necklace. Yeah. Well, I put Marge on it, but then she was livid.

I forgot you called her Marge. Jordan. Morning. Good morning. What cringy thing do couples do that you just can't stand? So I was in a heavy metal band in England, and we came back to New Zealand to play. Hell yeah.

Jordan, what a way to start a sentence. I was in a heavy metal band. Jordan, you're my people. Long time listener, First time caller. Yay! And... Can I just say, Jordan, this show is huge with heavy metal listeners.

Oh, massive. Huge. As you guys. As you guys. It's all the Pantera we play. We actually have a full page ad in Heavy Metal Weekly, the magazine. The Heavy Metal Weekly.

Yeah. Wow. That's what it's called. Sorry, your horn's up to that. Yeah! Horn's up,'s called. Throw your horns up to that. Yeah. Horns up, horns up. Horns up, yeah. Carry on.

What do you find cringe? Yeah, so we came back to New Zealand to play a concert and our bass player had left his fairly recent girlfriend behind and they were messaging and everything was cool and they were due to move in together when we went back to England. And one day when we were on tour, I come into his room and he's doing something with some clothes. He had some, like, nice AS jerseys.

And he's putting Velcro on them, like, so he'll give her one and he'll have one and then they cuddle in the Velcro matches. But it wasn't just like... That makes me sick. Like, you know when you do a cuddle and one arm's underneath and the other arm's over the top? Well, it was like that.

So that was so strategically placed. And I was like, dude, you're out of the band, eh? That's not rock and roll. That's not heavy metal. No, no. And then when we got back to England, she never even turned up to the airport to pick us both up.

We never even seen her again. Ah! Wait. She ditched. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh about that. That's a vulgar display of power from her. It really is. Good call.

That's why we're in, that's why heavy metal people love the show. Yeah, because we'll chuck in Pantera album titles. Oh, mate. Jokes like that. Horns up, everyone. Amazing. Jordan, thank you for sharing. Let's go to Dania.

Dania, good morning. Good morning. Dania. Dania. Is it Dania or Dania? Dania. Dania. Dania.

Dania, what is it that couples do that you find so cringe? When they walk with their hands in each other's back pocket. Oh, yes. It's so hard to walk. It's so hard to walk doing that. Because the glute is moving. It's a functional thing.

And your arm's got to be moving with their side. Yeah, that's gross too. I don't like that. Yeah, no, yuck. Walking, no, but how good's just getting a handful of your partner's ass?

Yeah. Really smacking it. Give me some of that cake. All right, you're not talking to the readers of Heavy Metal Weekly. We're going to tone it down. Daniel's on board. You'd probably grab a handful of your partner's dear a year, wouldn't you? Grab it.

Sometimes you get behind and you put a hand on each cheek and you grab it. Take this straight upstairs. Yabba, yabba, yabba. Straight upstairs to HR. Straight up to HR, both of you now. We're going straight up. We're going straight up to HR.

Jot it down, jot it down, jot it down. I apologise for that, Daniel. Actually, we're talking about the cringey things that couples do that you can't stand. The thing is, like, you might do them, but it's when you see it on other couples that you're like, ugh, yuck. Well, you might do them, but just not in public. Like, have you ever accidentally overheard baby

talk when you're at someone's house? Yuck. Beanie! That's mine and Aaron's. Emily joins us. Emily, what is the thing that couples do that you can't stand? Having each other's, like, Instagram handles or initials in their bios. Oh, yes, when they're like...

And then they whinge, but like, oh, why do you feel like my partner? I'm like, well, it's in your bio. You're kind of curious. I want to have a look at them. I thought that's why people did it is to say, don't slide into my DMs because I'm taken and here's who I'm taken by. But then that can just be a challenge to people, can't it? Because they might not be as hot or something.

They're like, nah. Yeah, I'm hotter than that. I'll have a go at that. What about couples that do joint Instagrams? We've had a few text messages about that. Dude, I would say of all the messages we've had on the text machine, the 100% is joint social media

accounts is the most cringy thing. No, I feel like that just means like someone cheated and now the other person's like, we have a joint account. We have a joint account, you can't do that. Or if... Generally, it's the guy has no interest in being

on social media, but she says she needs to drag him in there to represent him. Or most likely Darren can't be trusted. Darren follows a few too many Instagram models. Hot models. Yeah. Good on Darren. And lucky for Darren, you can't see what people like now. Remember those days?

Those were great days. Yeah, but Darren's doing in the joint account, so she can still see. Emily, thank you. James, what is it that couples do that you find so cringey? Ties into what you guys were saying before about the matching clothes. Emily, thank you. James, what is it that couples do that you find so cringy? It ties into what you guys were saying before about the matching clothes. Last Christmas, I saw a whole heap of families and partners doing the matching pyjamas.

The Christmas morning photo shoot. Merry Christmas from the Hamiltons. Love from our family to yours. How emasculatingating I turned to my girlfriend And I said these poor guys If you ever try and make me do that Consider yourself dumped Get me into a set of bloody reindeer leggings

On Christmas morning No I agree James brilliant thank you More messages in When people call each other babies Or when they Try to get a nickname going, like a combined name. A couple.

A ship name. A ship name. Yeah. Yeah, like a Bennifer. They say, but they instigate it and try to get it going. Vaudet. Yeah. What's yours?

Aaron Lee. Harron. Harron. Aaron Lee. Hayron. Hayron. Hayron would be the best one. Hey, hey, Ron.

Someone said gender reveals give me the absolute ick. Yeah, they do. Couples feeding each other. Absolutely off the table. In public. Couples that whisper to each other when we're in a group situation. Oh, so rude.

If they just lean across the table. You're a little sweetie. You're a little sweetie. I'm going to be such a naughty boy. Should we head off soon? That's what I'd say. You've got to have the look to know you're heading off sweetie. You're a little sweetie. I'm going to be such a naughty boy. Should we head off soon? That's what I do. You've got to have the look to know you're heading off soon. Yeah.

Or I just say, I'm ready to leave. Yeah. That's what I like about you, boy. And I was like, that's rude. I'm like, well, I don't care what these people think. I'm ready to leave. Home. Home.

Home. Home. Home. This conversation's run dry. I want to go home. Yeah. And I just keep saying where I want to be over and over until I get there. Home. Even in the car, right home. Home. Home. Home. Home. I want to go home. Yeah, and I just keep saying where I want to be over and over until I get there. Home.

Even in the car, right home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Vaughan home. Vaughan home. Vaughan home.

Home. Home. Home. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You know what? I reckon your script reading's getting better. I think it is too. I give it five stars.

Yeah. Just like I'd give this podcast. I'm telling my friends reckon your script reading's getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars. Thank you. Just like I'd give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast. Thank you Vaughan and Hayley for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.