ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st October 2022

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

Yummy Yummy!  Top 6: Liz Truss  Half-Masting  Vaughans Price Matching  Long Weekend Group Toot!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. We did it. I said we were going to do it and we did it. Yesterday, we had some celebrations to have. Yes, yeah.

Well, we're not celebrating, we're farewelling Anna. Very sad. Yeah. And then we were off to another party, Vaughn and I, for having been paying attention. So I said to Vaughn, why don't you come over early and we'll have a bloody Negroni Spagliata. Negroni Spagliata.

Which are all the rage because House of the Dragon Stars talked about this. Yes. In the video, which has led to, like, bars having to make these for the first time ever as well, all over the world. Easy, easy piece of this.

Sprout can rip one up in about 10, 15 seconds. Because it's not a shaker. So you just make it in the glass. So what is a Negroni? So a Negroni usually is one part Campari, one part gin, and one part martini rosa, or like sweet pink vermouth. Right.

And then you put a slice of orange in it. A spagliato. Spagliato, sorry. You replace the gin with Prosecco. And then I was, that's where. It's light. It's light. It's refreshing.

It's delicious. It's a summer drink. Yeah. The actor Emma Darcy, that's where. It's light. It's light. It's refreshing. It's delicious. It's a summer drink. The actor Emma Darcy, that's the thing that made everyone go crazy was, what's your favorite drink? What's your go-to drink? She goes, Negroni, Spagliato. And then, oh, yes, I love those. And then she comes back and she says, with Prosecco.

And so, yeah, I stopped past the booze store on the way home and got all the ingredients. And I tried the now famous Negroni Spagliato. What did you think? Well, the fourth one was nice. As was the third one, the second one, and the first one. And then the first one we ran out. So the fifth one was just a Negroni.

So when you guys were late for this late lunch, it was because you had five Spagliatos. No, the thing is he came over and we were going to be on time but we live kind of semi-rural so when you order an Uber it was 15 minutes away. Yeah, we were

exactly late how long it took the Uber to get there. Yeah. So that's why when I said. Yeah, also. Fucking rich. You're right. When he said you were late for this lunch, I was like, dude, you didn't turn up for like an hour and a half. 3.30.

I had to close my rings, didn't I? Yeah, you can't close your rings sipping cocktails and having fries at a bar. Well, I let the rings go yesterday because I was five spagliatos deep. I wasn't going to pop past Les Mills. You've had a couple of open rings this morning too, haven't you? Yeah, absolutely. A couple of D1. If you see me on the street, I'm looking

quite trim, you know why. And then our Uber ride to work was just us saying spagliato, like Nigel Thornberry from the Wild Thornberries. Lies will fetch your father, the ground is spagliato big or goel Thornberry from the Wild Thornberries. Lies, old fat your father, a Negroni Spagliato, a big old girl. And then we literally was barking at the driver. Spagliato.

Yes, behind him. Have a great day, Rodson. Who's that? At the end of the day, when you're first driving, have yourself a Negroni Spagliato. Whose Uber rating was that on? It was all me, yeah. Yeah, you must have a shocking Uber rating.

No, it's really high because I'm so friendly as well. Is it? Yeah, even when I'm a bloody tosser on a couple of smugglers. Smugglers! Smugglers!

Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Happy long weekend. Eve.

Eve. Long weekend, Ash. Well, for us it starts. Soon. Pretty soon. Imminent. Also, we were sent an invite to an event, and the invite was on a white card, and it came with a little blacklight torch, and I've been inspecting the studio.

A blue, one of those ones they use on CSI. Yeah, to see all, like, blood splatters. Do they call them blue lights or black lights? Black lights. Black lights. Oh, I don't want to. I'll say it, the studio needs a good deep clean. Especially over your area there, Fletch. That chair, my God, what have you been doing? Shame on you.

I'm not the only one that uses this chair. Well, you or Clint have some explaining to do. They rotate around these chairs too. This could have been your chair literally yesterday. No, I know my chair. Got a big stain on it. Like someone's had a wee.

Right. Long weekend group tooting. Eight o'clock. Join us if you're in traffic. We'll get the nation tooting. Fun game that we play. If you're new to the show, we get listeners to call in from their cars in traffic

and they start the Long Weekend Group Tote with a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then someone finishes off. Someone else in traffic. Is it the 10 year? Or is it more than 10 years? The anniversary. It might have been 10 years last year.

Yeah, it's been going a while. It's the first time we can group tour. We used to do it when we were on in the afternoons. Right. I gather round children, granddad will tell you about when they used to do the afternoon show, sleeping till 11, drinking and,

drinking and, hooring all night down the local tavern. Hooring. Hooring all night down the local tavern. I tell you what, we were ready for those Nazis, come what may. Those are different times. You're stiff British upper lip, I tell you what We were ready for those Nazis Come what may Stiff British upper lip I tell you what

Oh my god Speaking of British Yeah Scandal Dealing with this In the top six soon Prime Minister Liz Truss Well not anymore

No yeah Well no she is Until they find a new one Short term Prime Ministerial Villain Liz Truss. Why would you want the job?

That's horrid, eh? People say she should never have done the job, but she was never given a chance to do the job. Well, she did tank the world economy, Vaughn. She didn't do that. Momentarily, she did. She didn't do that. That entire party was behind that idea until it didn't work,

and then they needed a sacrificial goat. Yeah. And they picked Liz Truss. Poor old Lizzie. So she's announced her resignation. Yeah. How long was she

Prime Minister for exactly? Well, she became Prime Minister two days before the Queen died and when the Queen died a month ago?

It was the 8th of September, I believe. She became Prime Minister until the 20th of October. Oh, that's embarrassing. Seven weeks? So just a month and a bit, yeah.

The top six things that lasted longer than Liz Truss' Prime Ministerial post. But then Charles gets to make one. Make what? Prime Minister. I'll make one. This is the first one he gets to make. Oh, right, okay. Well, they're saying that Boris Johnson might run again.

Oh, bloody hell. I will myself have the Nazis again. Bloody show that waltz. Now this one's going to absolutely tickle you You basic little Wow, you are though God, he loves his white chocolate, doesn't he? I do love my white chocolate Welcome to Yummy Yummy, a segment where we take a look at new food items. Yeah, now this

one's not new, but it's new to Australia, which means we'll be getting it too. So this, they tested it in the United Kingdom, which I hear is just absolutely thriving at the moment. The place to be. I've got friends who are like,

I'm going to move to London next year. I'm like, why? Why? It's on fire. Yeah. No. Anyway, so Toblerone. I know you love a Toblerone. I do. A white Tobly. Yeah. Toblerone. I love it. It's so embarrassing being his friend, eh? It is a little bit. It is so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing how much better than him we are.

No, but it's nice to have him around sometimes if you're having a bad day. To lift you up. Yeah. At least I'm not fledged. Wow. It could be worse. It could be worse. I could love white chocolate as my absolute choice of treats. White chocolate is chocolate.

Sure. Sure. Sure, hun. So now Toblerone, they do a white chocolate, which you love. Now they're doing a sort of caramilk-esque white chocolate, like a golden white chocolate, caramelly white chocolate, Toblerone. Yeah, I'm here for this. So they call it golden caramel white chocolate with honey and almond nougat.

That's the bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that is me. That is me. So it's coming to Australia next month, hitting the supermarkets. No, the airports. Yeah, the airport.

Surely it'll be at the airport. You see, Toblerone's like seeing a teacher out of school. If you're at the airport, it doesn't feel right. What do I call you? What are you doing here? This is where I get my Whittaker's. Are you lost? I suppose I'll have one.

I mean, I know you're nice. How do I do it? Are you duty free here as well? So it's, yeah, they're not calling it caramel, but that's what it is. And they're saying people in the UK have gone nuts for it. Yeah, good. Okay. Just saying duty free. Yeah. I listened to the people in the UK have gone nuts for it. Yeah, good. Okay.

Just saying duty free. Yeah. I listened to the story about the Irish guy that invented duty free. This is almost a fact of the day? Could be. Yep. Today's fact of the day? Because he hasn't done today's fact of the day, has he? Two hours and ten minutes.

Because he was drinking early. He was drinking last night, wasn't he? Yeah, he was on the turds. I was a bit boozed when I got home, eh? Sade was like, you're a bit boozed. I was like, no, I'm not. Eat half a chicken. I know you were boozed.

Because on the Uber on the way home, you were like... I was like, what? Yeah. I turn and I start making no sense. But I was the one who made the call. You made a great call to me. We've got to go. It's 8 o'clock.

Vaughn needed to get home and eat half a chicken. That's not the reason my voice sounds like this. I had to pull over. I had a cough attack. I had what you had. The apple skin got caught in a funny part. That always happens to me. And I was like,

and then I was choking and then I had to get my finger in there. She was a hell of a scene on the Northwest. Well, I tell you what, I'm excited for two things. I'm excited for the caramilk-esque Toblerone, and I'm excited for the fact of the day about the origins of Judy Frey. What a long tease.

Hang on, what you shouldn't be excited about, I just got to the bottom of this article, it's going to be worth $12. Yeah, but they're big. No, no, no, no, you can't get a full-size Toblerone for $12. Are you talking about the little ones for $12? Yeah, those medium ones. Those ones that when your parents were like,

we got you a Toblerone, and you were like, they were going to unsheathe the sword-sized Toblerone, and then they pulled out a miniature one, a mini one, and you're like, well, I'm not going to be able to pay them when they pull it out and it's that big. I know. You're expecting them to unsheathe the sword and they pull out a dagger, you know?

In the photo, it looks huge. It looks massive. It looks, yeah. And the moment you unsheathe it. Yeah. Very disappointing. I know. It's just the worst.

Give us some Toblerone. I mean, we could talk all day. I don't care. What are we playing next? Delete it, because I've got 12 Toblerone facts. Oh, it's a little nasty. It's a good song. Give me 12 Toblerone.

Or give me five good Toblerone facts. I don't know if these are in order of the best. It was invented by Theodore Tobler. So that's why it's called Toblerone things. I don't know if these are in order of the best. It was invented by Theodore Tobler, so that's why it's called Toblerone. Okay. Because toroan on the end was the Italian word for the nougat that he used. Oh, okay. It's 108 years old. We've been eating it wrong.

Oh, yeah, you know, you push it back towards the next thing and it snaps off. You don't just put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth and stab the roe. I tried one of those big dirty free ones to do a whole one in my mouth and I nearly blocked the airways. Oh God.

Just that sentence again? You put a whole one in your mouth and it blocked your airways. Gotcha. We consume 62,000 kilometres of Toblerone every year. Wow. That's too much.

Yeah. Okay, you've got two facts left. Choose wisely. It comes in 10 different sizes. Yeah. Okay, you've got two facts left. Choose wisely. It comes in 10 different sizes. Yeah, because you can get the minis. You can get the mini minis right up to like the big, real big. Yard sticks. Real big booty ones.

Okay. And there's 11 flavours. Okay, that was, I don't know. I think, I like the how many kilometres we eat of Togarone, but I think you've wasted a lot of our time. Yeah, I don't know if giving facts is really your thing. Nah, I might stop it. We may have heard Sam mention in the news just before,

it's news out today that the ozone layer is depleting. Now, hang on, because I thought the news was that it was repairing itself. It was on track to fix itself. Yeah, because you remember in the 90s, well, you might not know, but in the 90s they banned CFCs, which were in like aerosol sprays and refrigerators. And people, when they were finished with their refrigerator,

would just go, ugh, and chuck it into a dump, and then it would get pierced. Yeah. But they're saying that it could be related to the volcanic activity. You know the big Samoan underwater volcano that blew up? Oh, dear. That could have thinned it out a little bit. That was Tonga.

Sorry, Tonga, yeah, of course. I was like, Jesus, Samoa, I haven't had another one. Yeah, the Tonga one. Apparently there's one nearby that started to... Bubble. That underwater one apparently has gone dormant, and there's another one next to it that started... Playing up.

The world's a little bit angry at us, isn't it? The world is angry at the moment, but apparently, and this will be why I think I went out in the sun like last weekend and got a little bit sun-kissed. He's a bronze goddess. What's my Norwegian, 6% Norwegian? I worry about you. Do you?

Coming through. No, I'm pretty good. I'm really good at sunscreen. I'm pretty good. I'm really good at sunscreen. I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good at sunscreen. There's a mole on his arm I've been slowly watching. God, it's terrible.

It's got five lucky hairs. Am I dying? It's got five lucky hairs. I've got one very hairy mole. That's a lucky hair, isn't it? It's got two big kind of... Well, you get that checked out with the... We're a moley people.

Well, you quite often get your mole maps, don't you? Yeah. You get your mole maps. I haven't had one since the pandemic. Yeah, I haven't had one for years, but they're embarrassing. You're going to stand like this? They take photos of you up close? Do they see your bits?

Yes, they can if you want them to. If you've got a thing on your bits. But you've got to shave your bits. What do you mean if you want them to see your bits? Well, otherwise you can just say to them, oh, there is one there that I wouldn't mind you looking at, but you're like, oh, no. Or they'd be like, check yourself and if there's any concern.

Oh, right. I think I got asked. She was like, do you have any moles on your privates? And I said, oh, let me check. And then I put my phone on camera facing, I squatted over it. And she said, generally, I'd leave the room for this part. And I said, no, no, no, no, because you'll get distracted. Stay here.

God, you only ever make that mistake once, don't you? God, those poor people. Well, according to NIWA, UV index levels have risen by up to 10% over Auckland over the past month compared to last year. And so they're quite high. So if you're out this long weekend and it's sunny, and it is looking pretty good, the forecast for this weekend. Sunscreen, even though it's maybe not that time of year you'd think about sunscreen.

You should be wearing sunscreen every day. And you're like, you moisturise a year. I'm 63. That's beautiful. And you would never know. You would never know. Well, I mentioned Ed Sheeran maybe branching out with his business portfolio. He's worth 260 million pounds.

He needs to get a little extra coin. That's like half a billion New Zealand dollars. He's got that little village. Good lad. He's a good man. He's a good lad. He's a lovely man. Good on him.

He's hinted at launching a sunscreen range. I don't know if he said this in jest, but he's wanting an SPF 70. I've used an SPF 100 before. We bought it overseas. What? It was like putting zinc on your whole body. 70. I've used an SPF 100 before. We bought it overseas. What the... It was like putting zinc on your whole body. Like weatherboard paint? Like white weatherboard paint? Yeah.

Like PVA glue? Trust British paints. Sure can. I'm more of a... You know that I'm a Resene gal. Yes, you've come in with another partnership there. Yeah, and Resene, just know that I wasn't part of gal. Yes, you've come in with another partnership there. Yeah, and Resene, just know that I wasn't part of that. That wasn't discussed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's our Resi Ranga? Where's our Resi Ranga? Because she'll be keen on this. I think her leaving party last night, she got a bit drunk, did she? And she's not here this morning. Where's our Resi Ranga, Anna? You know,

I'd say maybe in a bed. These Gen Zs are always covering for each other. They are. Yeah, they are. Back in my day, you'd sell out someone to get ahead, you know? Yep. You know, I didn't want to come in this morning. Here I am.

Nobody wants to be at work, Carwen. No, we all went out last night. Wow, I love being here, actually. I'm very excited to work. It's a good attitude. That was a test. That was a test. That was a test. That was a test, yeah.

That's not what she was saying when she was on the end of that bloody candy-riddled cocktail last night. My teeth are sore from that, you guys. Yeah, I bet. Full of lollies. Yeah. All right, well, yeah, slip, slop, slap. And wrap. Wrap.

What was it? Slip on a hat. Slop on sunscreen. Slap on a shirt. Wrap on on sunscreen. Slap on a shirt. Wrap on some things. Sunglasses. I feel like there was another one too. No, slip, slop, slap and wrap.

And blanket. Have a blanket. And get a blanket on you. Wrap and get a blanket on you. Slip, slop, slap and stay the hell inside. Play ZM's Fletchvorner Nelly. Play ZM. From the yummy ZM Think Tank,chford and Ailey. Play ZM.

From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Good day to you. And to you, sir. Good day to you, ma'am. Top six things that lasted longer than Liz Truss's prime minister. Seven weeks in the top spot, seven weeks in the job. So her 45 days as prime minister marks the shortest serving Prime Minister in UK history. It's embarrassing, isn't it?

You don't want to be the sort of shortest at anything. She was in two days. She met the Queen two days before the Queen passed. She flew to the Queen. She cursed her. The Queen cursed her. No. Liz Truss. Liz cursed the Queen. They had the kiss of death. Oh, jeez. No. Okay, New Zealand's shortest serving Prime Minister.

Go. No, because the Labour Party went through a whole lot of leaders, but it was when they were in opposition. What was Australia? So did the National Party. Do you remember when Australia were going through a Prime Minister every month? Yeah, yeah. They were hooning through.

They were hooning. Oh, my God. Yeah. New Zealand's shortest serving serving Prime Minister Bill English. No. There's one shorter than Bill English because remember John Key kind of saw the writing on the wall

and was like, oh, I'm out. I'll pop out. So technically, you know, he retired from batting. He's got a not out average. But then Bill English, shorter than Bill English because he was what, like seven months?

Do you know what I loved was Bill English's run walks. Yes. How fun were they? Yes. They were fun. He just stepped right into it, eh? And then was just like, I'm just a simple fella from the South Island, like spaggy on the pizza.

And everyone was like, set him on fire! The shortest serving term belongs to Harry Atkinson, whose third... Who the hell is that? Did he step in when Norman Kirk died? Hang on, this says the shortest term and then it says whose third term. So does that mean he was Prime Minister for two terms? Yeah, and why did he die in when Norman Kirk died? Hang on, this says the shortest term and then it says who's third term. So does that mean he was Prime Minister for two terms? Yeah, and why did he die in office? No, seven days.

Before his what? Trying to get a spot, eh? Bloody great show, tell you what. Just turn your back on it. I haven't been paying attention since the warm in the ground and you're like, I'll go on seven days. Jesus Christ, don't be so desperate. She moves quick.

Let them come to you. Play it cool. Seven days. Neg them. Jesus Christ, don't be so desperate. She moves quick. Let them come to you. Play it cool. Seven days. Neg them. So he was, yes, it sucks, sucks, sucks. Jeremy Corbett, it sucks. So he was in the position for two terms and then as the third one came about,

re-elected and then out. Longest that anyone served in office is 13 years. Richard Seddon. Yeah. Seddon Parks named after him. Is it? Is that why? And the shortest term belonged to Harry Atkinson whose third term lasted only seven days. Before. But Atkinson served

longer in total. Did he die? He must have died. He must have died. He looks real old in this photo. His third term, that doesn't count. Yeah, I know. Because that's his third term. I want to know how many for sure just popped up. I feel like it's got to be Bill. Popped up and then popped off.

Yeah. Or how long? Anyway, look, we could talk retro politics. God, we could talk. We could talk about your Ruth Richardson, your Jenny Shipley, your Jim Bolger era. What a mother of all budgets. We could talk about it until the cows come home, but that's not what we're here to talk about. God, I thought it was so funny in the 90s when I called her Jenny Slippery.

And I thought it was so funny. And I used to go on one of those like wet and wild, you know, what are they called? Slip and slide. Slip and slide. And call it the Jenny Slippery. And I used to be like, who am I? Jenny Slippery. And my mum would be like, who am I? And my mum would be like, who? I'd be like, I'm Jenny Slippery.

That's good stuff. Comedy. Wow. Comedy evening, day dog. She must have known she had a... Comedian in the family. Comedian in the making, yeah. There it is.

Mike Moore. That's from mum. She said he's the... Shortest serving. Shortest serving. What did I, Bev? Mum would know. Bev would know.

Bev would know. Huge politics fan. She's all over it, yeah. Top six things. Oh did I, Bev? Mum would know. Bev would know. Bev would know. Huge politics fan. She's all over it, yeah. Top six things. Oh, I'm so stoked your mum's listening. Thanks for listening, Bev. Were you, is your mum listening? Oh, God, no.

Hates it. Hates it. Thinks it's immature. Thinks it's poultry. I think my mum's tapped out. Yeah, because she used to listen all the time, didn't she? She listened from Italy, for God's sake. She's had enough.

I think Patsy's out. I think she's done. She's had enough. Nah, fair enough. Top six things that lasted longer than sake. She's had enough. I think Patsy's out. I think she's done. She's had enough. Top six things that lasted longer than Liz trusts as Prime Minister. Number six on the list,

a bag of spinach leaves in our veggie crisper. God, those spinach leaves. Just a small round of applause for spinach leaves. In a time when lettuces are like $8 each, spinach leaves are still like,

I'll still be four bucks. Yeah. And better for you. Yeah, I'm a little bit bitter, but get a bit of Japanese Kupai Mayo on me. You're not going to be able to tell the difference. Oh yeah, yeah. A lot of mayo. Yeah. And better for you. Yeah, I'm a little bit better. But get a bit of Japanese Kupo mayo on me. You're not going to be able to tell the difference. Oh, yeah, yeah. A lot of mayo.

Yeah, a lot of mayo. A lot of mayo. A lot of mayo. Or if you're going to cook the spinach, put the whole bag in. Well, me. Put the whole bag in. You've got a whole bag of spinach and you get like a teaspoon of, yeah, mounding spinach.

It's like the Wicked Witch from the West. It's like, I'm melting. I'm melting. I'm melting. No spinach left. Number five on the list of the top six things that lasted

longer than Liz trusts as Prime Minister are Nokia 3310 on one charge. Oh. One charge. Like literally

you could get that much. I reckon if you charged it and then didn't touch it it probably would have

seven weeks standby time. 100%. Number four on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than Liz trusts

as Prime Minister. A temporary tattoo that my daughter put on that I'm starting to think was either faulty or she got an actual tattoo. Oh dear. Eight,

and she got the silver She got the silver fern on her ass. Oh really? She thought this was a great joke. She came in and she's like,

look at this. And I was like, did you put a temporary tattoo on your ass? She's like, yep. It's still there. I still see the outline of it. Get the stelo. She needs to scrub it off. Scr I was like, did you put a temporary tattoo on your ass? She's like, yep. It's still there. Still see the outline of it.

Get the stelo. She needs to scrub her bottom. Scrub that bottom, please. Number three on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than Liz Truss's prime minister. The bananas that I promised I would make into muffins or a cake. They got chucked. They lived in the freezer, but. And they got chucked.

We needed the real estate. Just on the way to the bin. They had a little holiday at the freezer. Yeah, a little temporary stopover. Number two on the list are the top six things that lasted longer than Liz Truss's prime minister. The bills that are living at the end of our bench. I put them there. And they've been there since the Queen was alive.

So I assume that bill, one of them in particular, I don't want to open it. Nah. Pretty sure it's been taken care of. I don't want to open it. Has been there longer Than Liz Truss And number one on the list Of the top six things

That lasted longer Than Liz Truss's Prime Minister Boy I'm glad his mum's Listening Fletcher's stiffy When he took those pills In South East Asia

Vaughan this is You're making up These stories That didn't happen His vision went blue And he had a seven week stiffy I It's just

That never happened Woo All I'm saying is You didn't have a problem, so you didn't need to take the pills. You took the pills. You took the pills. You were bloody obliques in the magic potion, mate. You didn't...

Woo! Listen, you'll be hearing from my lawyer. This is defamation. And I'd imagine probably your mum. That is today's Top 6. When it comes to dating terms, they love a flag. A flag metaphor.

Like red flag or green flag. There was pink flag, there was beige flag. Beige flag. And now the new trend is called half-masting. Okay. Now... So it's a flag metaphor. A flag metaphor. So the flag's at half mast. We're still in the world of flags.

You're constantly mourning the dating? No. Oh, okay. No, it's nothing to do with mourning. Vaughan, can you take a guess? A half mast? It's where you're putting in half... You're not putting in much effort?

Yeah, there you go. Is that it? Half mast is basically half arsed. Right. Right. So a dating expert says half-masting is deliberately taking time to assess whether a relationship is going well by taking a step back. Essentially, you're not totally committed, full-mast. Yeah.

But equally, you haven't decided to end things. The flag is down. You're a half-mast. You're somewhere in between. Could this also be called quite quitting the relationship? Yeah, a little bit, but it's just got a new flag sort of spin on it. Yeah, right. Okay. So it's when you're like in a new relationship, there's ebbs and flows, good, bad, I'm in love. Oh my God, what am I doing? This is

terrible. Yeah. And they say rather than sort of going all in or going, it's not working, I'm going to bail. Yeah. Put yourself a half mast. Tap out a little bit. Right, okay. Step back, spend a little bit less time with them. Figure out how that makes you feel. If you miss them. Yeah, if you miss them.

Or is life genuinely better without them? Yeah. You're at half mast. Maybe you need someone else to put your flag at full mast. Maybe you need someone else who's going to fully mast you. Maybe you need someone that's got a variety of flags. Because, you know, those people who flag people. Oh, yeah, they love a different flag.

Or they love a rainbow flag. I'm surprised you don't have a flagpole. I feel like Vaughan would be a flag person. Yeah, I've thought about it. Yes, definitely. Yeah. I just don't like the idea of when it's windy and the flag's up, like ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.

Oh, yeah. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. Oh, yeah. How do you get one of those from? Probably Look Sharp. I wouldn't feel right buying a flag from Look Sharp. Why not? They're disrespectful to the nation. Well, you have to go to Papua New Guinea. Do you think you've got to get one from the country? Just get it on AliExpress. They'll have all the country flags.

Well, that might have a higher quality flag. Look, I'm going to find one for you. I'm going to go. Look Sharp, and it won't be called Papua New Guinea because you know how when they do a Mario costume, they say Italian plumber man. Oh, yeah, it'll be Island Nation flag. Island Nation, north of Australia flag.

Flags with a Z.co.nz. We'll give you all your flags. How much is that? $30. It's heavy duty, though, because if you're going to go outside, oh, it's a good flag. Yeah, it's a good flag. Look at that.

See, I can see you putting that up. What is the flower? Yeah, but then I'll be like the local lunatic. People will be driving past me like, what's he got up today? And what's that one for? Yeah, but then it'll be like the local lunatic people will be driving past me like, what's he got up today and what's that one for? No, people love that. You could do a bulk order. Germany, Hungary, Greece, Papua New Guinea, national country flag.

I'm 75% though. Keep going. I'm 75% of the way of literally going on to Trade Test and buying their seven metre flagpole. Yes, I've looked up and Trade tested and have a seven metre flagpole that comes in two sections. Do you know what you can also buy from flags.co.nz? The Kyle Lockwood flags. The Ferns. The alternative New Zealand

flags. Oh, the Webex design. I was Red Peak. I was Red Peak all the way. Red Peak all the way. We can't buy Red Peak. You can only buy the Kyle Lockwood. I got a Red Peak. I got a Red Peak at the time. Did you? Yeah, there was a thing and we had the four. They were made into proper official flags. And then they were just sitting there.

I was like, oh, I might take red peak. And nobody said no, so. Yeah. I took it. You can go on there and you can buy a flag all the way from Afghanistan, Alderney, Andorra. Because you know I love flags. And even Armenia.

Is it Vxologists? Vex something The study of flags? Yeah Well I know the guy that does the 99% Invisible podcast Roman Mars He loves flags I listen to him talk about flags at length

Get Vaughn a flagpole for Christmas Sorted Well since Queen Elizabeth II died I guess David Attenborough won I don't know if itletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, since Queen Elizabeth II died, I guess David Attenborough won. I don't know if it's a competition, Vaughn. I'm pretty sure they had a friendly comp. Did they? Bit of a friendly comp going.

Every birthday they'd text each other and be like, ha, still here. Well, you're going to die soon, haven't you? Not before you. They were real dark. They had a real dark sense of humour. Yeah, they did. But he's still around, but he has given what he thinks might be his final plea to humanity. Oh, wow.

To just, we've only got one planet. He had to say it again. He's saying it all the time. I know. He's basically saying, stop it. Guys, you didn't listen last time. I'm not going to be around forever to tell you. Yeah.

Come on. I just don't think. Come on. Come on. Just don't think. Come on. Come on. Just don't think people are listening. Yeah. Also, it's like, say something cool about giraffes. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Tell us. Just, I don't know. Talk about the elks. Yeah, all this doom and gloom, David. Yeah. Tell us about the polar bears. I don't know.

Something with the. No, the polar bears. It's not good. No, the polar bears. I don't know. It's no. The polar bears. It's not good. No, the polar bears are not good. Actually, that's not good. They keep drowning, don't they? Who's doing well in the animal kingdom? Sparrows seem to be in no short supply.

I see a lot of pigeons, too. Huge problem. Yeah. Huge amount of pigeons. I nearly ran over a fluffy pigeon yesterday. A fluffy pigeon? Yeah, it was real fluffy. And I was like, you're fluffy.

Was it fresh out the nest? No, it wasn't a baby. And I was like, you're weird. You're a fluffy one. Was it having a molt? Yeah, it was real fluffy. It wasn't a baby, was it? No, it wasn't a baby. And I was like, you're weird, you're a fluffy one. Was it having a molt? Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes you do see a rough looking pigeon. I know. God, he's had a hard life. He's doing it rough. I think they got into some drugs they found, those pigeons.

Yeah, they're meth pigeons. And it just spiralled for them. Yeah, life spiralled. So what does he want us to do? He would like us, the real work, he said, will have to be done by companies and governments who are the most responsible. Oh, sweet. But the responsibility lies in no small part

with the ordinary person too. Yeah, so wash out your spaghetti tins before you recycle them. If there's anything you take from this, you've got to wash out your water tins. Give you a second. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Gosh, I love our off-air discussions. I love how quickly they come to an abrupt end and perhaps never to be spoken of again. Lovely listener. The things you could hear. No, no, no, no. And perhaps never to be spoken of again. Lovely listener. The things you could hear. No, no, no, no. And you never shall. Now, a 23-year-old mother in the United Kingdom has gone viral.

And it's so funny. You know, I mean, the Poms, they love their, I don't mean this in general, but they love their fake beauty enhancements. Oh, man. No one tans like the Poms. Likements. Oh, man. No one tans like the bombs. Like orange lips. Yeah, orange. They love the big, thick, dark eyebrows drawn on.

Yeah. And they love a lip. Now, this mum here, I will say before the main item of conversation here, she's got a hell of a set of lips on her. Okay, yeah. I think she's put in a couple of little helpers there. Okay. Yeah. She might just be retaining water. Yeah. She could be a little fluid heavy, a lot of sodium yesterday. No, this is the thing. She needs a big set of lips to hold in a big set of teeth. Holding back a dam, you know. It really is. Now, I will say

that we're not like, she's the one that's come out on TikTok. Oh no, she's laughing at herself. She's laughing at herself. We're not laughing at her appearance. Not at all. Because she is the one that's come out and said, okay, I regret what I've done here.

So, you know veneers, typically if you get proper veneers, it's a really full on process. That's where they grind your teeth down to nubs, right? You don't have to now. Oh, you don't? Yeah, I was talking to my dentist about it because I was like,

I'd love a bloody set of false teeth. You've got great teeth, though. Thank you. That's what I was hoping for. I fell for that thing. You really did. I got a free compliment. They're really crafty, aren't they?

They are. Crafty little bastards. They really are, aren't we? They really are. Take it back. But usually, like in the past, right, you had to saw your teeth

down to little nubs. And then the veneers would never last a lifetime, would they? No, because they're porcelain. You'd have to redo them every, like, what, 15 years or something.

Or something like that. And they're hella expensive. But now they don't. They just grind your teeth a bit to flatten them and they can put them on top of your real teeth. But she didn't want to do the full thing.

So she paid £180, about $350, $360 New Zealand dollars for some false teeth for a brighter smile. And you know, it's like a mouth guard. You get it fitted to your mouth and heart. But the teeth are so big, in her own words, she looks like a damn horse. She absolutely looks like a straight up horse.

So she's put the video on TikTok. Look at the size of these nashes. Oh, what the hell? He looks like a horse. In her own words, she looks like a horse. I mean, I don't think it helps. She's got quite a small face. She looks quite petite. She does look a petite woman.

The teeth just are so gigantic. She looks like one of those dummies. You give a baby a dummy and they suck on the dummy and it looks like a smile with comically large teeth. Yeah, look at them. Absolutely. That's a before and after. Yeah, so she had nice big teeth.

She just wanted them wider, so she got these sort of clicking falsies. But she can take them off. But they've kind of added like another half a centimetre or a centimetre to her teeth. She can wanted them wider so she got these sort of clickin' falsies. But she can take them off. But they've kind of added like another half a centimetre or a centimetre to her teeth. She can't close her damn mouth. They're so big. You wouldn't be able to talk properly. Definitely

not the look she was going for. No. And I want to know if someone has had something similar. Didn't quite get the look they were after. Maybe it was a hair disaster or you were going for a, you know, I'm thinking of going copper soon. But maybe I'll end up looking like Ed Sheeran.

When I was 19, my second year of broadcasting school, I, for my birthday, treated myself to a bleach blonde hairdo because I wanted to look like a Super Saiyan, you see, from Dragon Ball Z. Oh, my God. And, well, it didn't. I just don't know how to describe what happened. So you didn't get the look you were going for. What look did you get?

Washed out heroin addict. Yeah, great. Heroin addict. That was kind of the, they did the sideburns too. Yeah. But you know, at least with hair, like it's not gone, right? It was. It started falling out pretty quick.

Oh, really? And then it was only a matter of years and it was no more. Yeah, but if you're, like, plastic surgery-ing, then, you know, it's always altered, isn't it? You can't go back. When I was 17, I was doing this, like, dance thing and I thought, I'll get a spray tan. They ended up giving me, like, a bodybuilding competition tan.

Like, I was, like, chocolate brown. Yeah, right. Chocolate brown? If photos ever resurfacebuilding competition tan. Like I was like chocolate brown. Yeah, right. Chocolate brown. If photos ever resurface, I'm in trouble. Cancellation. You're cancelled. Was not the look I was going for. No.

All right. Well, 0800-DANCE-IT-EM. We want to take your calls now. If this has happened to you, you've tried for a new style or a new look or a procedure, like especially the teeth, you were like, I want a new smile. And then you're just like, okay, that's not what I want. They're way too big. They're way too big.

Yeah. Something like that. We're talking now about when you've gone to get a procedure or a little makeover, a little do up. And it's not what you're after. A UK woman has gone viral on TikTok for her new veneers, her new teeth. In her own words, she looks like a horse. Her words.

She looks like a straight up horse. The teeth are way too big. You said you paid like 300 and something New Zealand dollars. That's like so cheap. Like you get what you pay for, right? Well, this is like people are saying, what do you expect? Yeah. Like you paid that much for them.

They're definitely like AliExpress. AliExpress teeth. Yeah. Yep. Shane, good morning. Morning. Now, when did you not get the look you were wanting? Well, I really feel like the beautician should have given me a warning here.

Okay. So I got a spray tan. And if you have hairy arms, you should not be getting a spray tan. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. Because it like blotches or patches. Yeah, it does. So I spent the next week, maybe even two weeks, looking like a leopard.

So that wasn't the look you were going for, Shane? Not really. Not in summer when you're trying to wear t-shirts and singlets. Having spotty arms is not really the best look. I don't have that hairy arms, but I'm the same. When I get a spray tan, it always sort of sits in the hair.

It makes the hair darker as well. And you're like, that's not right. It's not what you were wanting. Did you do what I did, Shane, which is like panic and start rubbing it? I think I tried to shave my arms off. It was about 20 years ago. It was so long ago. I think I tried to shave it, and it still didn't work.

Obviously, it shaved off the hair, but the spots were still there. The splots were still there. But then you couldn't get in more tan, because then the other bits would go darker, and the spots would still be lighter. Never have a panic rub. Never have a panic rub. Never have a panic rub.

Stop. A couple of deep breaths. Yeah. Have a relaxed rub. Shane, thanks for your call. Some more messages in. We don't have a name for this one, but she says, for my 14th birthday, I got a gold star put on my tooth.

No one back then. It's twinkle jewellery. Yes, I remember these teeth jewels. It was guaranteed star for five years. Big in Christchurch. Twinkle jewellery. Huge in Christchurch. Big in Christchurch.

Mince and cheese hair. Sparkle tooth. Yep. Holter neck top. Yes. And a picture of Dan Carter on your wall. P top, white pants, belly button out, pissed, and a boyfriend that will really upset your rural

father, and you have got the quintessential Cantabrian of the early 2000s. So 14th birthday, gold star on the tooth, guaranteed for 5 years. For context, I turn 30 next month and it's still there. Oh my God, get that thing off.

It's hella embarrassing explaining to clients and new friends what's on my tooth. It looks like a piece of toast. I would remove it, but I'm stubborn and I don't want to pay for it. Oh no, I'd get it removed. I'd scrape it off. It would be so easy for them to remove. Wouldn't they put a blade underneath it? Yeah, it'd be so easy.

Yeah, so easy. I'll get it removed. Because if it looks like a piece of toast, it must have lost its sparkle too. Yeah, and constantly. I'll do it for it. Remember when I nail filed my teeth down? Hayley, the Dental Association has said do not do that. I know.

Reached out. Somebody else said, I was teaching in the UK. I've got bright blonde hair. Decided I wanted to change it up and dye my hair brown. It was a little darker than expected. I still thought it looked okay. Went to school the next day expecting the kids to like the change. All I got was,

Miss Cooper, you used to be beautiful and now you're ugly. Oh! Safe to say that was not the reaction I was after. God. I got my eyebrows microbladed. Oh, God. What is this one?

That's that, like, you know, when the Instagram brows where it was, like, feathered hair and real clean lines. Right, that's what I've got. And then the microblading makes it look like it's hairs. Yeah, you've got yours microbladed.

My worry about that is eyebrows change fashion. I'm not saying you've got to go like super thin or anything, but if you're in your late teens, early 20s, and you get that done, you might still be like trying to be hip. It's a tattoo, but it doesn't last forever. Right. Well, this one healed blue. The lady who did it said she'd wait for a bit so that they fully healed

and then fell off the face of the earth. Oh my God. I have to fill in my damn eyebrows every day. The whole reason I got them done was so I could be lazier

in the morning and not have to do this. And you can't go on fair go because then you have to go on fair go with blue eyebrows. With your blue eyebrows. I don't know where she's born. And you look shocked

the entire time. I'd love to see her again. You know, to get an answer on what happened here. Looking terrified. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

We need to talk now about Vaughn's price match because this is what is embarrassing. It's not embarrassing. Save myself some money. State your story. Well, okay.

I was at Mitre 10. My preferred giant hardware retailer. Oh, me too. Great place. Get, okay. I was at Mitre 10. My preferred giant hardware retailer. Oh, me too. Great place. Get in there. Yeah. I get lost on purpose. Go for a walk around. They're a great place. Mitre 10 or Bunnings, you can get lost in those places.

Yeah. They're just amazing. Well, I, it's that time of the year where you want to spray your lawn for your only hunger weed. You know, you don't want your little hidden prickles. Nah. Over summer, do you? If you want to make the most of your lawn, you want to take care of the your onihanga weed. You know, you don't want your little hidden prickles. Nah. Over summer do you? If you want to make the most of your lawn, you want to take care of the... I've been at Vaughan's place in Bearfeet. There's the odd prickle. There is not!

He's got rubbish, Graeme. You shut your mouth right now! Those poor kids. I know. I know. They don't know how lucky they are. Running around on a nice spongy lawn. It's kikui and I hate it, but it's the best I can do with what I've got at the moment.

So I was going to buy some lawn spray, the stuff that you plug the hose into and just spray it goes. Gives a bit of a feed and a bit of a weed after the winter weeds, you know. Get that lawn replenished for summer. And so I found it and I needed a few of them. So I put them in the trolley and then I looked at the price and I was like, is that the going rate? And then I remember, I'll make my 10 or do a price match guarantee. Find a better price, we'll bet it by 15%.

15%. Yeah. That's the tagline. Okay. For the same product. Actually, that's the Bunnings tagline. Are they just price match guarantee? No, because they beat it by 15% too. No, but Bunnings is, if you find a better price, we'll beat it by 15%.

Are you sure? I think it's might of tens. But they both do it. Oh, okay. They both do it. They both do it. I'm just on the Bunnings website. They'll beat it by might of tens. But they both do it. Oh, okay. They both do it. They both do it. I'm just on the Bunnings website. They'll beat it by 15%.

Yeah. Excludes trade quotes and stock liquidation. Yeah. Commercial quantities. Yeah, they would. It wasn't. Well, that's interesting. Commercial quantities come into it because I was like,

I need four of them for the amount of lawn I'm going to get done. But then when I went up and I said about the price match guarantee. Yeah. She said, I'll have to ask someone what the limit is on that. Oh, okay. Because I guess everything's got a bit of a different thing. But anyway, I looked up what old Bunnings was doing it for and they were three cents cheaper. So I went up to the-

Three? You are such a dents. This is so embarrassing. So I went up to the service desk. At my attention.10. Like, this is so embarrassing. So I went up to the service desk. At my attention. Yeah, and I said, hey, how's it going? Yeah, good. And I said, oh, I just wanted to price match these.

And she was like, price match what? I was like, price match this spray. And she's like, oh, okay. Who's got it cheaper? I said, oh, Bunnings. And she's like, really, how much? I was like, $0.03. Oh, what a dick

That is so embarrassing So you wanted Twelve cents off And for them to beat it by Because they Did they match it So They beat it by 15%

So they match it And then beat it by 15% Match it and then beat it by 15% And I said to her And she was like And you know what You deserve that Three cents

I said Sorry about this And you know what? You deserve that. Three six. I said, sorry about this. And she said, you don't need to be sorry. You do need to be sorry. She said, you don't need to be sorry. And I said, well, you know, a dollar saved is a dollar earned. Which I can't believe came out of my mouth to be totally honest. And she said, look, the main thing is you're shopping here.

Look at all the other stuff you've purchased. Yeah. Because I purchased a whole lot of stuff for the veggie garden. Did you Google that stuff too to see if it was cheaper? Oh, I don't know if I could go into it for a six. You can't go through a trolley load. For a six, a punnet of six lettuces, you know? Yeah. I don't know if I could quite justify saying it.

And I've got that for three cents cheaper. You literally did that. You literally did that. No, I did it on one item that I had in bulk. Not the whole trolley load. Right. But anyway, quite a good discount. So how much did you get off?

Well, I got 15% off. Oh, my God. $28, whatever that is. Surely they just monitor their website and the prices. So I said to her, weird that it was three cents cheaper. And she's like, oh, this is just what happens. They'll see how much we're selling it for and take three cents off. We do and the prices. So I said to her, weird that it was three cents cheaper and she's like, oh, this is just what happens. They'll see how much

we're selling it for and take three cents off. We do it the same. Like, we'll see what they've got. Sometimes we'll take three cents off. Is there a game

to be played here? Like, you go and then you take that back to Bunnings and you go, oh, they're selling it at this price, 15% off.

No. And then they give you 15% off and then you go back to my team. No, because it's the advertised price Until it's free

Yeah That's the one And you end up with an entire Mitre 10 store Yeah You just own Mitre 10 It took me a week of going back and forward So the guy who turned the paperclip into a million dollars Or whatever it was

I turned one weed spray Three cent saving of lawn spray Into my own Mitre 10 franchise. And then someone's going to come and do it to me. Well, I'll put a stop to that. Today's silly little poll. If there was a free seat on a rocket ship for 48 hours, would you go? So you're in the rocket for 48 hours? I don't think you get to go out.

Or you've only got 48 hours to get ready to go? No, you're on the rocket ship for two hours. I don't think you get to go out. Or you've only got 48 hours to like get ready to go. No, you're on the rocket ship for two days. I mean, when are you going to get the chance to do this? I'd say yes. Oh.

I know you hate space. I hate space. I don't want nothing to do with it. I mean, it's very dangerous. What the Jeff Bezos' last dick rocket blew up, didn't it? It sure did.

No one was on it, right? No, no one was on it. But that was the one that went up after William Shatner. Did you see what he said a few weeks ago about that trip? Dude, that was so sad. It was so sad. What did he say? Like that he didn't have a good experience?

No, it was like, I don't know, that he's old. It was just like, I don't know. Somebody read it and said it sounded like a diary entry from someone on mushrooms. I was like, I can kind of dig the vibe. I can see it. Yeah, I wouldn't go. You couldn't pay me to go. I hate it.

I just think space is so yuck. I'd go. I'd go. The Mrs. would be unhappy with me though. Because you said she couldn't go to Fiji. Well, I'd probably tell her she is. No, no, you're saying. Yeah, I'm going into space.

What about the kids? Oh, that'd be right. It's Disneyland all over again. I know. If you come back from space with COVID. Space COVID. God, I had a great time at Disneyland. Sorry, I've got COVID.

And I give it to you all. Yeah. Some feedback. Oh, wow. The stats are in. 62% give it to you all. Ooh. Yeah. Some feedback. Oh, wow. The stats are in. 62% of people agree with me. Nah. Wow, they wouldn't do it.

Okay. 38% said yeah. Peggy. I love the name Peggy. Peggy. Peggy said, I said yes, but only if I can come back. Yes, you can come back, Peggy. I never know if that's part of the conditions with you lot.

All right. Are we space terrorists? I'm sorry, have we got a long list of people who have taken to space and killed up there, Peggy? Carween, can we send her the terms and conditions of this metaphorical hypothetical space ride? Courtney says, hell yeah. I thought it was weird that Pete Davidson couldn't go to space anymore because of scheduling conflicts. Change your schedule. What's more important than space?

Yeah, good call. It was schedule. You chickened out. Pete Davidson had come back with some alien girlfriend. Oh, he would too. But I, yeah. Hot Martian chick.

She's like, I heard the rumours from Mars about that thing. Yeah, I can see it from Mars. Jess said, yes, this is my dream. When I die, I'm getting my ashes

sent up to space. It costs two grand, but I'm dead, so I won't be paying for it. Just get your family to get a weather balloon and when it pops, your ashes will be in space. Put them in the balloon. Yes.

And then it just needs to be the balloon. Nothing else. Good idea. A big-ass weather balloon. Pop your ashes in. My way, I get someone to hold the balloon open and someone to pour the ashes in. You need a funnel. You have to funnel. You your ashes in. My way, I get someone to hold the balloon open and someone pour the ashes in. You need a funnel. You have to funnel.

You have to funnel. Okay, so funnel. But then it's not as fine as you'd think. Ashes can sometimes be a bit gritty. You wouldn't want to block in the funnel

because then you'd need to get a chopstick. You'd have to get a big funnel. And push the chopstick down into the funnel. Slowly getting it through there. Where would we let your ashes into space?

You've got to be careful where you do that because if you do that, because if you do it on a flight path, it gets sucked into a jet engine. See, that's not romantic. That's not a nice idea. Where does Space Lab do their take-offs from? The peninsula.

Yeah. On the east coast. Mapo? Mahi? Is that a peninsula? Is Mahi a place? Mahi's doing the Mahi. That's effort and work. Yeah.

Well, good luck to you, Jess. Mars and points when they do the oil refinery. Jess loves space because on her Instagram, she's got Jess and then the constellations, a planet and some stars. Oh, some emojis, some astro emojis. While you're looking that up, Caitlin says, I'm terrified of flying in a normal plane.

This would be 1,000 times worse. I agree. Michelle said, I said no, but actually, could be a nice good break. A good excuse to have some time away from my kids. Love that. Kids, mum just needs some alone time. It's Mahia.

Mahia. Mahia. Mahia. Mahia. It's the Rocket Lab base. Yeah. Emily says, who doesn't want to fly around in a rocket ship? And knowing you can come back to Earth after 48 hours, what more do you want?

Yeah. Okay, but yeah, overwhelmingly, people not into it. Nah. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Let's do it. The Long Weekend Group Toot. I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny. We are live as well on our Facebook page as well so you can join us for the...

You can look at us as we do this. The joy in our face when we complete a long weekend group toot. Now, this is how it works. If you're new to the show, we ask you to call us in traffic and give us a start of the long weekend group toot. And then we ask you, if you're listening anywhere in the country right now, if you hear that, to finish off with two toots. Two toots. Now, we're're gonna start today in todonga max joins us on the show max good morning good morning good morning this is

tesco max this is max that uh did you ever get that role in that school play max after we put in you know the good word there put a bit on? Today, I didn't get the role, but today I'm auditioning again. That's all for another part. Yes. Oh, yes. I've got a good feeling. I've got a good feeling. I'm the octopus knight.

Yes. Oh, yes, the octopus knight. That's perfect. You can hold eight swords. Yeah, that sounds great. You were made for that role, Max. Oh, we're big fans, Max. Now, obviously, you're too young to be driving. Who's behind the wheel, Max?

My mum, Debbie. Okay, alright. Well, let's get mum when you're ready to give us the start. Debbie's done a hell of a job with Max. She should be very proud of this boy. Now, get mum to give us the start. I am. Oh, yeah, you should be. Alright, give us a long weekend group tour.

What abouts are you? We've got to find out where they are. Tauranga be. All right, give us a long weekend, Group 2. Wait, what about Zaya? We've got to find out where they are. Tauranga, is that right, Mance? We are heading to Tauranga and around the bow. So I'm very busy around the bow. Yes. Perfect. Okay, well, when you're ready, give us a long weekend, Group 2, then get the phone out the window.

Go for it. Yes! Yes! Yes, Max, Max, Max Max, Max, Max Yes, Max and mum Thank you so much Oh, what a start The start We are off to a great start

You know what? Even if we don't get another successful one, that joy that we want out. I just want to be Matz's hype man. Same. You guys heard about this kid, Matz? And I tell you what, if he doesn't get the part of the octopus king, I will kill someone. I will kill someone.

I'm going to the Coromandel today. I might pop down and help him with his audition. I can't, Max. I can't. No, I can't. Ermila, am I saying that correct? Yes. Welcome to the Long Weekend Group

2. Whereabouts are you? I'm near St. John's area, Auckland. Okay. Alright. Are there cars around? Yes. When you're ready, give us the Long Weekend Group 2. Okay. I'm ready. Here we go. Oh, oh, oh.

Your rhythm was a little off at the end. We're out there. We're out there. We've had our first whoopsie of the year. Okay. When you're ready. When you're ready. One, two.

One, two, three. One, two, three, four. Okay. Can we do it again? Yeah, yeah. All right, Here we go. Yay! We got it!

Gosh, the neighbour. Thank you. Thank you to the neighbour listening who really, you know, saw she was struggling. Yeah. And offered a gentle arm of assistance. Lovely, Ermola. Thank you for the long weekend group tour.

Let's go now again in Auckland. Riley, Nirvana and Sian. Good morning. Good morning. All right, this will be a team effort. Whereabouts in Auckland are you? Ormiston Road. Okay, Ormiston Road. Yeah, that's a big, busy road.

You always hear about that in the traffic report. All right, when you're ready, give us the long weekend group tour. Just coming up to the lights. Oh're just coming up to the lights. Oh, just coming up to the lights. Okay. That'll help us because people will be stopped. All right. Ready?

Yes. Yes. Oh! Almost. That was beautiful. Go again. Go again. Great tooting. Go again. That was beautiful. Go again, go again, go again. Great tooting. Go again.

Delay not. Look, it's not you. It's not you. It's not you. That was beautiful tooting. A beautiful horn as well. Exemplary. So perfect.

That is how we want it done. But unfortunately, Riley, Nirvana and Sian, that's a no horn as well. Exemplary. So perfect. That is how we want it done. But unfortunately, Riley, Nirvana and Sian, that's a no this time around. Let's go to Malcolm Nelson. Good morning. Morning. Malcolm, do you reckon Max is going to get the role as the octopus knight? I reckon. Yeah, same.

The country's behind him. How can he not get that role, right? Malcolm, whereabouts in Nelson? I'm actually in Richmond. Oh, Richmond. Okay, alright, that's good. Alright, when you're ready, give us a long... It sounds quiet though, doesn't it? Yeah. It sounds quiet. Malcolm, are we concerned? Okay. People

around? Not many, but... Famously, no one listens to the show in Nelson. Yeah, famously. Who's listening? Okay, Malcolm's listening. Alright, Malcolm, give it to us. Okay, here's listening. All right, Malcolm, give it to us. Okay, here we go. Good wind there. No, but good toot.

Go again, Malcolm. One more. Let's try one more. Yeah. You just finished yourself off. Malcolm, you're not allowed to finish yourself off. You can, but it doesn't count to the telly. No, it doesn't count.

It doesn't count. Thank you. Now we were two for two. We're 100% now we're at half. Conan and Delaine, good morning. Hello. Hi. Now, you're in Dunedin.

Are you named after the Barbarian or the O'Brien? The Barbarian. Yes! You know what? That could be a fight with the Octopus King. And that could be in the school play. Max the Octopus Knight versus Conan the Barbarian. Sounds like you're teeing up a game of D&D over here.

Absolutely not. You are. Now, what about since Dunedin are you, Conan and Delaine? We're on the one way north. Oh, okay. Okay. Let's give it a try. Let's give it a try.

When you're ready. Ready? Yeah. Oh, no. No, go again. Go again. Go again. Go again.

Great turning. Yeah. No. Oh, Dunedin. Oh, Dunedin. Thank you guys so much for trying. Shivers, we're stuck on two. Let's get over this hump.

Let's go to Shane. Shane, get us over the hump. And Toedunga, whereabouts? I'm on Settlite's 15th as in Fraser Street. Okay, go for it. We'll be ready. Go. Go, go, go, go, go phrases key. Okay, go for it. We're ready. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

No, let's do it. Go again, go again. Try again, Shane. God, it's great tooting, Shane. It's really good tooting. It's not you. It's all been good tooting. It's not Shane. It's not you, Shane tooting, Shane. It's good tooting. It is not you. It's all been good tooting. It's not Shane.

It's not you, Shane. Sorry, Shane. We're down to one-third success. Yeah, I know. How quickly have we fallen? Adam and Leo. Hey, let's just remember Max. Oh, my God, Max.

Max. Adam and Leo, you're in Wellington. Whereabouts? We are just at the red light at the Basin Reserve. There's a few cars around. Oh, okay. Yes. We'll go while it's red. Okay, go. No.

I reckon slow it down just a fraction. Just a fraction. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! So close to the Mount Vic Tunnel as well. I know. God, that was great. I know. That person really let us down. Yep. Go, Max.

Go, Max. And go, Max. And go, Max. Max for the Octopus King. Thank you. Knight. Knight. Sorry, Octopus Knight. He'll work his way to King, of course. Of course. Of for the Octopus King. Thank you. Knight. Sorry, Octopus Knight.

He'll work his way to King, of course. Of course. Of course he'll work his way to King. Okay, let's do one more before we take a halftime break. Julia and Kane, whereabouts in Auckland? We're just heading into the city on Motorway in Auckland. Okay, crawling? It's going a bit fast. I'm trying to slow it down.

Okay, all right. Obviously, Aucklanders love that. Yes. Well, give it a go and let's see how we go. Okay. All right. No. No. And again, we're giving everyone two shots. Yeah, go again.

Go. You're going too fast for me. Wait, did you get one? No. It was going too fast for me. Wait, did you get one? No, that was just me being annoyed. Oh, that was your go. I got really excited. All right, well, not too bad at the halfway point.

Vaughan, let's just have a score update. It's three from eight. Under 50%. All right, we're going to come back next. Strong second half. Yeah, round two of the Long Weekend Group Tote is next. If you're in traffic, give it a try. Play ZM's

Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. The Long Weekend Group Tote. I'm horning, horning, horning, horning. So horning. I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning. Well, it's time for round two of the Long Weekend Group Tute. You join us in traffic and give us the first half of the Long Weekend Group Tute. And if you hear that, if you're in your car across the country, finish off.

Help out our listeners with a toot to my God. A toot-toot. When it comes together... It's so satisfying. Yeah, we love it. Now, just an update of the scoreboard, Vaughan, for those that have just joined us. What's on the board, Miss Ford? Three from eight, which isn't great.

It's under 50%. We like to sit above 50% if we may. Stephanie joins us in Whangarei. Whereabouts, Stephanie? I'm at the Nixon Mill Road intersection at the moment. Okay, when you're ready, give us a long weekend grip toot. Okay, hold on. She's just going to get to the dial.

A bit of more. You're ripped to it. Give us a slower one, Steph. Slow down. Okay, here we go. Oh, I got one. I don't know where it came from. We didn't hear it.

Oh, we didn't hear it. We didn't hear it. Go again. Get the phone out the window. The New Zealand Police famously love the long weekend. We've contacted them. Oh, I'm moving now. But anyway, we'll give it a go.

No. I can't mark it. I can't mark it. Stephanie, unfortunately, can't mark it down, but a great toting there. We're now at one-third success, and that does not feel good. Okay, Shah and Christchurch, we're about to you. Hi, I'm on Main North Road, I'm sorry. Okay.

That's great. I mean, North and South, that's quite, what? The traffic's all good, but I am waiting for a red light. Oh, okay. So I'm going slowly to catch a red light. Oh, I like how far, can you see a light that's green that will turn red? Are we close, or do you want us to come back to you? Um, it should be close.

What do you reckon Max's chances of getting the Octopus Knight are, Sha? Pardon? Do you reckon Max is going to be the Octopus Knight in the school production? I reckon... Yeah. The whole nation is behind it. The nation wants us. Sha, we'll come back to you next.

I thought we were doing a great job of padding. Jason and Ollie, we're about to see you guys. Hi, guys. We're coming up to the light at Dominion Road. Perfect. Perfect. Okay, chances for Max getting the octopus night? Oh, very high.

Yeah, go, Max. Yes! Yeah, all right. When you guys are ready, give us a long weekend group, too. Okay, here we go driving a train absolutely nothing okay go again go again okay here we go Oh, that was great, Tony. What a great one. And a pleasure to have you on the show, Jason and Ollie.

Yeah. Let's go now to Olivia, Kylie, Mackenzie and Christchurch. Whereabouts? We're on Cranford Street, but the lights have just turned green. Go, go, go, go, go, go go go go go go go go go go wait we're gonna go to go anyway go again go again. Okay.

No, I think we're here to pull into work. Sorry, guys. Oh, no. Shit, okay. Okay, shit. God forbid we should keep you from employment. Yeah. Go on, get out of here.

Go on, you're a gramp. Thanks, guys. Let's try Shara. Shara, have you got a red light yet? No, I haven't They are green Oh my god. What a horrible thing to have happen on the way somewhere, all green lights I know, and this is the first time I've ever

done the holiday group tour and I think the universe is against me No, Shah, we're not giving up on you, don't worry We're not giving up on you, we'll come back Shah Okay. Second to Max. Second to Max. You're the person I believe in most today.

Yeah, me too. Shay and Grayson, worry about some Tauranga. Oh, coming into Tauranga? Do you know Max? He's from Tauranga. You guys should look him up. He's pretty cool. He's a cool guy.

Oh, yeah? He's going to be the octopus knight. Yeah, you keep an eye out for the octopus knight. All right, when you guys are ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay. Here we go. Just hearing a lot of wind. It's a bit too much wind.

It was a bit too much wind. A lot of wind there. Bring the phone in a little bit, I reckon. Are you there? Yeah, go again. But not the phone all the way out the window. We can't hear anything. We're coming up to a roundabout.

We're just coming up to a roundabout. Round, great. Ready. Ready. Yeah. way out the window we can't hear anything roundabout we're just coming up to around the bell oh yeah reminded me of that onboard microphone from team new zealand the grinders areaning in that ticket. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. All right, unfortunately, guys, nothing there. Let's go to Courtney, East Auckland. Whereabouts? Hello, I just got a green light

where there were heaps of cars, but I'm on the way through the bridge. Oh, give it a hoon. Give it a go. Give it a go, Courtney. Okay, I'll give it a go. Hold on a second. Everyone's moving, but we'll see how we go.

Okay. All right. No! The nation needs to get on board with the route, too. We've gone dismally downhill, haven't we? You know why? We haven't heard from Hamilton. Do you think that's why?

We've had quite a few Taurongers. Auckland's been overrepresented. We've only had one Christchurch, a Whangarei in the mix. Yeah. Who else are we missing? We've had a Dunedin. What about a Timaru? Janice?

Janice and Timaru? Janice, it's Janice with a J. Good morning. Hello. Good morning. Janice, you're in Timaru? Yes, I'm here in Timaru. Okay.

Not known for its traffic jams. No, but I am on the main street. I'm hoping that someone here might be listening. Okay, all right. When you're ready, Janice, go for it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, silence. Oh, no one. No one. No one. Well, you wanted Oh, no one. No one. No one. Well, you wanted a Timidoo. Welcome to the board, but welcome to the game, I mean. Oh, this is going down hell, Vaughan. How are you feeling?

I just can't stop thinking about Max, you know, wielding eight swords. Or maybe six swords and two shields. You know, that's the sort of thing I'm hyped about. Let's try Brock in New Plymouth. Good morning, Brock. Whereabouts in New Plymouth? Hey, guys. I'm just outside Devon Intermediate.

Oh, okay. All right. When you're ready. All right. Here we go. Oh, God. No, that's the wind. So a lot of wind there, Brock.

Unfortunately. It's very windy. Sorry, guys. No, look, it's not got the wind. It's the wind. So a lot of wind there, Brock. Unfortunately. It's very windy. Sorry, guys. No, look, it's not you, Brock. It's not you, Brock. It's really not you. Let's go. What if we jinx Max's audition?

What if Teresa... No, don't say... Shut your mouth. I don't want to... I want to shut my mouth, but it just popped into my head. I don't want our bad luck rubbing off on Max.

We've got to finish on a high. It's important to finish on a high. Teresa... I've just come up with another great idea for a radio thing. We pick one person who's got something they're looking forward to It's important to finish on a high. Teresa. I've just come up with another great idea for a radio thing. We pick one person who's got something they're looking forward to and the whole nation hypes them up. Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.

That's a good one. What a great idea. We'll call it Hype Nation. Hype Nation. Hype Nation. Hype Nation. Hype Nation. Yeah, good.

Hype Nation. That's a great idea. Teresa, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Now, whereabouts in Wellington? We need to finish on a win. We do. Because we started so great and it's just ended poo. And we're about to go to Wellington. We need to finish on a win. We do.

Because we started so great and it's just ended poo. And we've got to go back to frickin' Shah. Whoa. I mean, Shah better get it together. Whoa. Teresa, we're about to sit in the capital. I'm merging to go through the terrace tunnel. Okay.

Yes, yes. Tunnel. When you're ready. When you're ready. Give us a long weekend. All righty. Here we go. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, yes. Tunnel, tunnel. When you're ready, give us a long weekend. All righty. Here we go. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Oh, no. Your horn sounds like a Morse code machine from World War II. I want to guess well that the Wellington toot has no wings. It really does. All right. Thank you anyway. You don't want to give Teresa another go? Kayla, whereabouts in Lower Hutt?

I just turned on to like go towards like the city center like just off the motorway okay are there lots of cars uh right um not too many but um i can i guess give it a go anyway give it a go give it a go yeah Yeah. Nice. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, my God. Look, I mean, it was a great toot. You did a great toot.

Let's quickly go to Char because we have been waiting. Char? I'm waiting to tune. Oh, Jesus. Char. You picked me at the wrong time. Frickin' Char, right? Frickin' Char.

Frickin' Char. You're not the octopus. not! Oh, okay. No, I'm not. I think you kicked me at the wrong time. Oh, Shah. I was outside the police station before with the red light and I was like, I got a red light, I got a red light! But it was outside the police station, of course.

Yeah. Okay. The ultimate conundrum. We're going to do this now, Shah. It's now or never. This is the last one. She didn't wave. She didn't wave first.

Shah! Oh, wait. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? We're going to do this now, Char. It's now or never. This is the last one. She didn't wave. She didn't wave first. What were you yaying for? What happened, Char?

We didn't hear anything. Go again. I heard it. Go again. They're not going to do it for me, but I think he's sitting near me. I need another one. Just keep going until someone takes it out. Just keep going until someone takes it out.

You've still got to do the rhythm. You've still got to do the song. That was a big massive truck. Again, Shah. Go again, Shah. Again, Shah. song that was a big massive truck again in the soup and you're hard to get out we're gonna persist with our chopsticks chasing the noodles Chasing the noodle! I made a red! Go! Go! Go! She's a shambles!

She's had a red light! Finally! Take the phone back in the car a bit, Shah. We can't. It's too windy. Shah!

Oh, no, Shah. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Keep the phone just inside the window because all we can hear is wind. Go again.

Okay, go again. No, that wasn't the tune. Shah, listen to me. Okay. Listen to me, Shah. We can do this. We can do this. I know I got two toots

and I'm sorry I had it out the window. I'm going to slowly pass these cards. Look, we have verification on Shah's toot. Someone texted us just said, look, I was the one that just tooted at Shah as I passed her. She was not joking. Are we going to accept that?

No, we're not going to accept that. Are you in a green Altezza? Yes, I am. We'll accept that. Wait, no, we can't accept that. Are you in a green Altiza? Yes, I am. We'll accept that. Wait, no, we can't accept that. We need to hear it. Cut the music. Cut the music.

Cut the music. Shah, listen to me. We're going to do this. Go. Don't put the phone too far out the window. And if you're around, Shah, Tupac, please, go. I'm sorry. Yep.

I'm going down the side street. I'm just going to go to you. You'm going down the side street. I'm just going to just do it, Yui. You're going down the side street. Go again. No one's down the side street. I feel like that guy on, you know, that movie Whiplash, where he's just like, again, again, again. Not quite my tempo.

Not my tempo. Not quite my tempo. Stop. Not my tempo. Are there any cars around you, Char? I'm about to come up to cars right now, if we'd like. Okay, here we go, Sha. Here we go.

The moment is yours. Oh, my God. Yes! Oh, my God. What a great day. Guess what? I was back at the intersection outside the police station. Yeah.

Now, if... What police station is that, Char? Papanoi Police Station. So, if you're a member of the Papanoi Police, can you go and take care of Char? I'm worried about it. Char, what a ride. Brink of insanity.

You're on the leaderboard, Shah. Oh, Noodle does it, eh? And that wraps up our long weekend group for the Labour weekend.

Ups and downs and I think the nation is behind Max. Yes, good luck, Max. And maybe we'll check in with him

next week and see how he got on. We're going to have to follow up next week to see if Max is the octopus knife. Yep, yep.

Sir, uh, Sir, uh, Sir Slippery T, yep. Sir, sir, sir, slippery tentacle. Of the round table. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you have hiccups? I've got the hiccups. Oh, cute.

Baby's got hiccups. You always get them. Give him a little pat on the back. He needs to be a little burped. Do you need a quickies? Yes, please. I need a little quickies, please. I've got hiccups.

Today's fact of the day is that duty-free shopping was an Irish invention. You teased this earlier in the show, didn't you? It was a podcast I listened to, 99% Invisible, which is a phenomenal podcast about design and things that you've never really thought about the origins of or how they work. Sounds boring. It sounds a bit boring. Oh, okay. I'm sorry no white woman were killed in the making of this podcast.

Yeah, who dies? So you and your bloody... We're the murderer. You and your bloody spagliato drinking gal pals can debate over who actually was the murderer. So it was invented in Ireland at the Shannon Airport. Okay. The reason... Huh? Shannon. Yeah. Okay. The reason, huh? Shannon.

Yeah. Why does that make you laugh? I don't know. Just like the Shannon International Airport. Well, Shannon was the first international airport because when transatlantic flights first started in the late 1930s, all the planes that could fly that far were effectively like flying boats. They were the planes that could take off and land on water.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they did that because they were flying so far over the Atlantic that if something went wrong, they wanted to be able to land on the water. Yeah. Traditionally, your other aircraft don't land so well on water, do they? No, they don't.

Your modern aircraft. No. So it needed to be somewhere on an estuary so they could fly up the estuary. And it was just far enough that they could get there on a tank of gas, refuel, and fly on to London. Right. An entrepreneurial 26-year-old restaurateur started a restaurant there

so people could land and have something to eat. Traditionally Irish. Are you all right? I've got the hiccups. I'm just – we're all a bit dusty. He's absolutely falling apart. He's absolutely got hiccups. He can't stop coughing

he's falling to bits a little bit hungover jeez Louise terrible so he started a restaurant there and then he thought well people in ships kind of go just into

international waters and do some trading and they can avoid tax yeah and stuff so he said what if we had that

in this specific area of the airport and then he launched the first shop where you could buy booze without the duty. And he kind of invented duty-free shopping. Do you know what I hate when you're at an airport and you're like, I just want to have a chocolate bar

and you go to the duty-free because you're waiting for your flight and they're like, where's your boarding pass and your passport? You're like, I'm buying a Toblerone. Go to the bookshop. Do you have to put your... Yeah, that's a good point.

But some airports are different, right? Yes. They always have to have your... I'm just like, it's a chocolate bar. It's not a bottle of Jim Beam. Calm down, shop at airport. Why do they do that for? Is that just statistics gathering?

They have to for the duty free. Right. People came back from America. Because the little shop doesn't ask you for that. The dairy doesn't. No, it's not dairy, but the bookshop. The bookshop. Yeah.

With all the... That sells everything. Yeah, that sells everything. Neck pillows and adapters and... Yeah. The everything shop. And magazines. Yeah.

I don't know. I haven't been asked for anything. But anyway, today's fact of the day was duty free shopping was invented by a 26-year-old from Ireland. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up!

Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.