ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 21st September 2022

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Are you worried about it right now? Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Macca's to be in to win. Well, it's not McDonald's because they don't have a buffet option, but going to a buffet tonight. Oh my God, imagine a McDonald's buffet.

Jesus, do you know what? The nugs. I would pillage the nugs. We would finally see the downfall of... Of an empire. Of an empire. If they were just like, okay, let's say, what, 30 bucks a person? Yeah, have that.

What? Om-da, om-da, om-da. But you're, tonight, you're going to one of Auckland's premier buffets. Yes. It's my father-in-law's birthday and he's always really wanted to go and never has. Mostly because he's the cheapest man on the planet planet And so we're paying for him for his birthday It's our birthday gift to him This is also insanely hard to buy for

That's perfect Yeah, so we're buying him food And of course this is where the training kicks in My grandfather took buffets very seriously And we went to Valentine's a lot. Yeah, there's not many Valentines left in the country. There's the odd one you see regionally. I'll say it.

We went to one. It was not good. Yeah, right. It's just not as good as it once was. I'll tell you what. It's still going strong. Marbles? The Marbles Buffet.

Never been. In New Plymouth. It's a New Plymouth institution, that buffet. It's confused, it doesn't know what it wants to be, it's got a real Roman Empire, does it still have the Roman Empire vibe? Yeah, it does. I think it might be an Italian garden theme. Oh, I love that.

Well, they had the statues and now it's gone. Well, they used to be pirate themed, back in the day, and the pirates would come out dancing mid-buffet and do a show. It was great when it was your birthday. Yeah. It was either that or you went to the Pizza Hut or you can eat.

Yeah. Yeah. A classic RIP. They're gone. They're gone. Yeah. So, yeah, we're going to a buffet tonight. So, yeah, training kicks in. My granddad's rule was always a hearty breakfast.

Yeah. And then no lunch. And you just drank as much liquid as you could. I don't know. Non-filling liquid, tea, water, a lot. Stretch the stomach right out. Lots of weeing today. And then you let your hunger kick in, and then you hurt it.

What time are you hitting it? 5.45, I think. Good time then, okay. Good time. What's your way? You get in, you get your plate. I'm not fucking with breads. Yeah, yeah, good time. What's your sort of like, what's your way? Okay, I'm not. You get in, you get your plate. I'm not fucking with breads.

No, I don't fuck with bread. I'm not fucking with breads. You don't fuck with soups. I don't fuck with soups. I don't fuck with soups. I didn't just spend a day eating like I didn't fuck with soup. You don't fuck with. Unless it's a Chinese buffet, a little corn soup. Oh, yeah, that's nice, but not too much.

Chicken corn. Not too much. You just get the meaty fucking portions. Yeah, I'm like. I love swearing at the food owners. I don't fuck with rice. You don't fuck with noodles and rice. I don't fuck with noodles. I don't fuck with noodles.

What are you fucking with noodles for? You don't fuck with steamed veggies. No. A lot of vegetables. Breads are the only carbohydrates. Yeah. Potatoes. You're just doing meats.

Meat. A good veg, if it's like a nice veg. If it's a nice veg. It's a nice veg You might get Like a couple of Like if it's a roast carrot salad You might get a little bit

Little bit I don't fuck with salad I'm not fucking with All the salad I fuck with salad And then the pudding It's the pudding Now here's where you don't

Want to get too caught up In the hot meats And forget your pudding Yeah Especially that pudding Because I am Gonna fuck With pudding

Yeah What is this I need a buffet now. I won't survive. I'm having eggs for lunch. Maybe your upcoming birthday lunch is a buffet. Although that will undo all our journey to hell. No, it's one meal.

Yeah, this is bullshit. You're panicking. It's one meal. If you're on a journey to hell, you've got to stop for gas. Yeah, that's true. Vaughn, I'm just looking at a photo. Are you fucking with seafood? I am fucking with a little bit of seafood.

I'm fucking with high-end seafood. Yeah, do it. I'm fucking with crayfish. I'm fucking with oysters. Maybe a couple of oysters. Yeah. A couple of oysters, but not on an empty stomach. Do you know this buffet, when you book in, you get a time allocation?

Yeah. So they're not letting you stay for the full like you can't have you seen Y you can't go have you seen people that go there and they walk in

this is what I'd be terrified if I ran a buffet big family walk in big people and they go like this as they walk in they crack their neck and they stretch their shoulders back

and you're like this is not a sport and they put rubber their hands together those kind of people are never the kind of people that win the eating competitions no they're the skinny girls that you think well they're not going to eat much and they're the ones They'll quick rub their hands together. Those kind of people are never the kind of people that win the eating competitions. No.

They're the skinny girls that you think, well, they're not going to eat much. And they're the ones that back-rub you. Maddie Ziegler. Yeah. Not Maddie Ziegler. That's a dancer. Yeah, she dances. You'll think of the Kiwi girl that eats like 8,000 chicken nuggets.

Yeah, she can hone it. But my wife's grandmother was the same. Her father who we're talking about today, his mother. I met her a couple of times. She lived in Thailand. I met her a couple of times. She lived in Thailand. She could hoon and nug. We had a language barrier, but she could eat. And just this old, little old woman, and you were just like, get in.

Hollow. They're hollow, these old ladies. Absolutely hollow. She just kept at a steady pace. Tortoise in the hair. She would just absolutely beat you every time. Wow. Well, let us know how you go tomorrow when you roll into work.

All right. We're also great because you're cycling into work tomorrow for World Car Free Day. Burn it all off. I'm going to have so much fuel in the tank. This is actually carbo-loading. Carb-loading. Road to journey. Yeah.

Journey to health. What is that? A road to? It's a journey to health. Journey to health. It's a winding road. Yeah. You know what I'm going to fuck with?

Desserts. going to fuck with? Desserts Fuck with that Moose Always fuck with the moose That is the last dessert I'm fucking with I always fuck with moose I ain't fucking with moose I ain't fucking with moose

You're going to fuck with moose It's the slices And it's the chocolate covering everything. Yes, yes, yes. There we go. Can I join? Can I? Absolutely. Should we go?

I would love to go. Head on. Well, Shadow's brother can't go anymore, so there you go. There's a seat at the table. Oh, you go. I'm on a journey to hell. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Just discussing how brazen it is for people to walk into the middle of a mall. Not the edge of a mall. The stores at the edge of a mall. The stores inside the mall. And then smash the cabinets. And then grabbed jewellery and ran out.

It's insane. So entitled that people are just like, I'm going to paint me. How did no one stop them? Surely someone would have tackled one of them. I think these people should have been smacked by their parents. You think a couple of arse tannings would have sorted them out? A couple of smacks on the wrist. I was, and look at me, I've not smashed a Stuart Dawson display case.

There you go, case in point. There were eight of them. The footage is insane too, of all the shoppers. Just nuts. Leave them alone. Leave them alone. It'd actually be bloody terrifying to be working in a jewellery store at the moment. Yeah.

It's happened a lot. Yeah. Well, you're probably, they're getting targeted more than banks, aren't they? Because, like, banks. Well, you can't. The banks don't hold the cash anymore. No, you just can't. The admin as well, though, like, okay, let's just say you break in,

you smash a thing, you grab some sterling silver hoops and whatnot, and you leave. Then what? It's still not money. You've got to sell it. Yeah, and then what are you going to... On Facebook Marketplace. And then people are going to know, right?

The trade me fees these days as well. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just not worth robbing a jewelry store. It's just not worth it at all. With those fees, yeah. You basically lose money. Coming up on the show this morning,

Secret Sound is back. We'll take your guesses at 7 and 8 this morning. And we'll do a Q-jumper as well at 9 o'clock. On the way, the top six. Yeah, the top six things are the world of wearable arts inspired. The COVID inspired world of wearable arts outfits. Yeah, they're back, aren't they? This is what I'm predicting.

It's going to be heavily COVID inspired because they have been cancelled for a few years due to COVID. Yeah. Well, a lot of leftover supplies too that we don't need. Yeah, we can turn that into arts and crafts. Okay, well, that's good that that's back on the events calendar in Wellington. Oh, yeah. The top six coming up. We've got a Yummy Yummy soon,

a segment of the show where we take a look at new food items and trends. And this one is chocolate. There's a new chocolate. Yum, yum, yum. From our favourite chocolate people. Fytercast. And we'll talk about that soon. Next on the show.

A bit of a confiscation at the airport. I can't say much more than that without losing my job. Swat me on the wrist and called me a liar. I said this was confiscated at the airport, but that's because I wasn't concentrating.

This is a story that comes from the Queen's funeral. Oh, okay. Well, the whole sort of lead up, I guess. You know, people were queuing and queuing for days to walk past and see the Queen. And one person who was in that queue had been waiting for 12 hours, had, as they were getting closer,

they were seeing security guards and police officers. And they asked one of the police officers, what is the strangest things that they've been confiscating? Because they were, obviously, they were like, look, you had to do a bag search and whatnot. Yeah, kind of like going through the airport, right? Like they had the scanners. You weren't allowed big bags.

Yeah. Probably no liquids over 100 mils. Yeah. So he said, you know, there was a couple of confiscated items that spring to mind, one of which included, they've called it a pleasantry. A pleasantry. A pleasantry. One woman forgot that she had her pleasantry in her bag,

her personal massager. That is so British. Oh, my gosh. We shall now, from now on, always call adult fun toys pleasantries. Adult pleasantries. Personal pleasantries. Yeah. So she had her pleasantry in her handbag,

and then when they went for the search, they were like, okay, that's okay. And then his, the way he responded to it was he whipped the batteries out of it, of her personal massager. Yeah. And then said, here you go, you can have that back, but you can't have the batteries. Because alongside like looking for weapons and whatnot, they were looking for other things that could make noise and disturb the peace.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So that fell out onto the hard marble floor. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to finally get inside and... Yes. And everyone's looking. Yeah, that's a problem. So he was like, well, I can't confiscate it.

He also said they were looking for things that could disturb the peace or that could be used as a weapon, which I imagine, depending on... What were those annoying things at the World Cup? Vuvuzelas? Oh, the 2010. Oh, my God. Remember when the world's biggest problem was Vuvuzelas? What are Vuvuzelas?

Vuvuzelas. Everyone in Southuvuzelas? Vuvuzelas. Everyone in South Africa had those horns. No, South America. Was it in Brazil? No, it was the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Jared, do you know what these things are? A Vuvuzela is? The mighty Vuvuzela.

Vuvuzela. Vuvuzela. You're saying Vuvuzela. Wow. I've got a YouTube video. What is it? Horrible things. Because that's a whole stadium.

That's a whole stadium blowing there. Yeah, horrible bloody things. Do you have one of these, Mr. South Africa? I used to have two because my dad went to the World Cup back when it was in South Africa, so he brought me a few back. Right. I used to take them to my football games on the weekend.

Right. Did you not take them to my football games on the weekend. Right. Did you not take them to a local football game? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, terrible. You can't have those in, and you also can't have your own personal pleasantry. Oh, no. Well, it was the cleanest.

Why would it be in your bag? Is the line that long? You couldn't wait until you got home. One of those ones everybody has. Satisfy protest. Yeah. The pleasantry satisfier. It was rechargeable. You couldn't whip the batteries out.

It's a built-in battery. I think it's a buy a new one when the battery's buggy. You think it was one of those ones that had the D cell? Well, he said it was a dilly. The Dolphin Torch has a big you know, has one of those big square ones inside it. The Big Jim. Yeah. Which is the name of a torch, but also the Big Jim was the one with the battery actually just

remember that Big Jim and it was a torch on the top? Maybe it was just a farmer's torch. And you got the big Jim was the one with the battery actually just remember that big Jim and it was a torch on the top maybe it was just a farmer's torch and you got the big battery and the battery became the body of the torch

and you screwed the terminals on big Jim great name for a torch also a great name for a pleasantry and the dolphin that's a good name

for a torch and a pleasantry play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley yummy yummy yummy in my tummy Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, there's a new chocolate in town. Yummy, yummy.

A segment of the show where we take a look at new food items, new food trends. And this is a new chocolate from Whittaker's. What are they up to now, those crazy kids? Well, they're getting hazelnuts involved. But not like hazelnut, because they've had hazelnut chocolate, haven't they? Yeah, that's one of their best. Yeah, it's lovely. It's delicious. I like the big nuts.

Do they still do the white chocolate? Just one more time, you like? I like big nuts. Okay, flesh? Yeah, medium to big. Okay. Because I prefer a hazelnut over a peanut, say. Right, a peanut's a small nut.

And also technically a legume. Yeah, it's technically not a nut. Not even of the nut clan. Do they still do the white chocolate macadamia? That was a good one. Because macadamia nuts, I would class those as a medium nut. Or is that a larger nut? No, you'd say an acorn is a big nut.

I'd say a walnut. I wouldn't class an acorn as a nut. Or a walnut. A walnut's a big nut. Brazil nuts. Brazil nuts, that's a big nut. Pecans, pecans, big nuts. Big nuts.

Long nuts. Pistachios. Those are long nuts. Small nuts. Petite nuts. Small nuts. No better nuts. I love a pistachio.

Oh yeah, they're great. We've done nuts for Friday Rankings, haven't we? It was one of the... I think we have, yeah. We definitely have, because I remember going in for pistachios. Oh, that, they're great. We've done nuts for Friday rankings, haven't we? It was one of the... I think we have, yeah. We definitely have, because I remember going in for pistachios. So this new chocolate is like a gooey... You put a lot of praline, don't you? It's called Hazella, and the technical term is...

Jeanne d'Ougé. What? It's French. Jeanne d'Ougé. It's French. Jeandouge. It's chocolate using cocoa, but also using hazelnuts. So technically, Nutella. It's Nutella. It's a posh Nutella.

But they can't say that. They can't say Nutella. Yeah, Hazella, because it's hazelnuts with Ella from Nutella. So they can't say that. And to be honest, they're probably just trying to stay in their own lane because isn't that quite a palm oil heavy product? Yeah, it is. It's Nestle, isn't it?

Yeah, there's a few question marks around. Nestle loves a bit of palm. Have you ever read? I listened to a podcast. I mean, there's a podcast about everything nowadays. There is, yeah. There's a podcast about Nutella's dominance over the hazelnut farmers. Really?

I listened to a podcast about that podcast. Really? Yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to the podcast about the podcast about the podcast about the Nutella. Yeah. Hazelnut Farmers. And then assume there'll be some sort of streamable four-part, you know, limited series. Then this is also going to be on a podcast of you talking about the podcast about Hazelnut.

We are on our podcast. Yeah, on our podcast. Okay, we've gone deep. Oh, I'm tripping. Hazella comes in a 250 gram block. That's your standard. Yeah, and it's got the hazelnut gourmandise centre.

Yeah, good. This will be yum, won't it? Yeah. Oh, this is another one of those classic whips countdown. Put it on their website too early. This is bullshit too. Are you kidding me?

Nobody's buying this anymore. Yeah, but come on. It wasn't supposed to be. It's guerrilla marketing. Because wasn't it New World last time that accidentally leaked it? Do you think they just give them turns? Leaked the oatmeal. Yeah, they just give them

turns and they're like, here you go, accidentally leaked this link. Throw Foursquare a bone. Yeah. You know? Let them leak something. Yeah, look, I've thrown Foursquare more than it's fair share of bones, you know? I'm in there, you know, getting a pie on the road. I'll always stop at a Foursquare. Good stuff.

Oh, I love a Foursquare. So, yeah. Wow, yeah. Hey, Zella. Do you have a date, though? So you say it's leaked early, this news. Today. Oh, okay.

Right. So why have we been sent some? No, they normally do send them because they want us to talk about it. We've already talked about it. We're in our debt. Yeah. Forever in our debt. They owe you a block at least.

Yeah. So I want Carlo Barn to turn up in his time machine. Same. Oh, yeah. How much do you reckon he got paid for that? So much. I reckon the dude was just home in between seasons of The Boys. Just at home for a Kiwi summer,

and his agent's like, eh, how do you feel about making $150,000? How long's it going to take me? All that day tops. I reckon they paid more than that. Because they paid Nigella. Remember, they paid Nigella. Oh, so you're saying they freed up the Nigella money.

It's a lot of money to get in this time machine. I don't know what Nigella thinks of Hazella. Nigella would have been the perfect spokesperson for Hazella. It's creamy. Next on the show, you may remember last week, the great, scandalous chess debacle. Oh, my God. Oh, this was insane.

There's an update. There's an update. This is the chess debate. This is the chess situation where Magnus Benro, they took a break from selling high-quality whiteware to Auckland for 50 years. Auckland listeners will get that ad reference. John and Adrian. And they got into the chess world,

but then packed a big set and accused their opponent of using a remote-controlled pleasantry up his bottom to know his moves ahead of time. Yeah. As insane as it sounds. They accused someone in the crowd of vibrating the pleasantry. Of where to move next. Of where to move next. Well, there's been an update in this chess scandal.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's good chess is getting a bit of a, because, you know, chess popped off again in popularity with the Queen's Gambit. Yeah. That got chess, everyone talking about chess, got a whole lot of new people interested in chess. Hell of a game.

Many, many options and combinations. While the world champs, though, they'll absolutely smash you, even at one of those outdoor ones you see at a park. Oh, or the old boys in Italy. Oh, yeah, they'll all sit at the bench. Yeah. Ay. Ay, ay, that all sit at the bench. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

So, this was the champion's chess tour. You'll remember. Pizza. Pizza pasta. You'll remember Magnus Carlsen.

He accused his competitor of having a pleasantry. A vibrating pleasantryry up his butt. Up his rear end. And they were using a computer to predict what moves were going to happen

and what moves he should do next and then buzzing appropriately to say, like, I don't know, one short buzz, porn, C. God, dangerous territory if you need to move a king. Also, dangerous territory if you enjoy that. Slightly distracting. Slightly distracting. But, I mean, that's up there with the great, and we mentioned this last week,

the great who wants to be a millionaire crowd cough. Like, it's very audacious and ballsy, isn't it? Oh, it is. It's less about the ballsies. More further towards the back. More about the, what is that thing called? The prostate. The talk is that AI computers now, what, are better than humans?

Yeah. And that they're so powerful now they can run every possibility after every move and give you the best one to do next. Yeah. So the latest on the scandal, because Magnus packed a half. Magnus Carlsen packed a massive tan and said, you've got a vibrator up your bum and you're cheating. Because he was just like,

that is the most interesting thing I've ever been accused of. Because he was, he was, is the most interesting thing I've ever been accused of. Because he is the world champion. Magnus is the big dog. And this guy's younger too. He's like the up and comer. He's like savant. It was just the accusation from that guy who said, you couldn't possibly beat me organically.

Yes. You have to have a pleasantry up your butt. Yes. He just took a shot. So that was Gambit season two. It's going to be wild. Oh my God. So they've met again in the Julius Bear Generation Cup,

the champion chess tour. This is the first meeting they've had since. Okay. It was online though. Adjudicated, streamed. How do you not cheat when it's online? You know, like you could with an online exam. Oh, right.

Too many people are watching. Right. And it all went down after the first move. This is his main move. Before 9-64. Yeah, definitely. And what? No.

What happened? That's it? We're going to try and get an update on this. Magnus Carlsen just resigned, got up and left, switched off his camera, and that's all we know right now. Wow. Speechless, yeah? Commentators. Really nailing it there.

Who knew chess commentary was a thing as well? I love it. It fits the vibe. I think it needs a bit more color. It needs a bit of excitement and some music behind it. It's his move. ESPN Zsuzsa.

Yeah, it really does. Speechless. Speechless. So he was losing and so he leaves. No, no, it was literally after the first, so the first move.

Oh, wow. Nyman was playing white, white goes first and he made his move. Carlsen replied with a move and then Nyman made one more move. So three moves total and then Carlson's like, I'm out.

Yeah, that. I can turn the camera off, disconnect it from the game. I can relate to that. Like if we were playing Monopoly and my brother got Mayfair or Parkland straight away, I'd just flip the board. Yeah, there's no way I'm beating that. Yeah. He's gonna bankrupt me within like three rounds. Yeah. You can see into the future. Let's no way I'm beating that Yeah He's gonna bankrupt me Within like three rounds Yeah yeah yeah

You can see into the future Let's go outside And play cricket Absolutely Oh you what Now we have to play a game That you're better at Yeah

Pretty good I was a younger brother too I'm still holding Holding Holding Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play

ZM From the yummy ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. From the yummy ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. It's me. I thought that was unintentional. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Welcome back to the world of wearable arts, which is popping back. Yeah, we're eight days away from the next world of wearable arts. It's part of a five year deal where it will remain in Wellington because, I don't know if you know, but they stole it from Nelson. They stole it from Nelson. I remember I, when I worked in radio, they ramrated Nelson and just took it back

over on the ferry. Where is it? It's in Wellington. Yeah, it's been in Wellington for years. Yeah, only after they stole it off. Only after. Nelson hasn't forgotten. Also, never forget Nelson it's been in Wellington for years. Yeah, only after they stole it off. Only after. Nelson hasn't forgotten. Also. Never forget Nelson. Did you guys ever do, because it was such a Wellington thing when I was growing up, did you ever do wearable arts at school?

Oh, no. I went to a rural school. Can you imagine? No. In the 1990s, a predominantly white, wildly, you know, fragile, masculine. Yeah, that was too wild. No, it was rugby, rugby, rugby. Yeah.

We did it at our primary school in Eastbourne, and we had, I emceed it with my best friend. Yeah, right. Obviously, I was destined to be an entertainer. And my mum also made me an outfit, and it was just black leggings, a black skivvy, and some wings made out of bubble wrap that she'd hot glue gunned some

feathers on and a box with feathers on it and I was a bird. And did you win? I didn't win. Sort of the Sally Ridge and Jamie Ridge of Eastbourne. We were. Yeah. We were and we continue to be. Incredible. Well, yeah

it's only days away. More than 35,000 people from outside the region attend with a total audience of 60,000. And it brings in millions of dollars into the Wellington economy.

Like 28 million, they reckon. Good on you. Good stuff. Not my cup of tea. Couldn't wear that to the bloody shops, could you?

Oh, where are you supposed to wear that? Oh, don't be so cheap, Ed. Oh, she can hardly even walk or turn her head. She better not be driving home. Pointless. Won't fit in the bloody wardrobe, I know. Oh, my God, how do you hang it?

The top six COVID-inspired World of Wearable Arts outfits I'm predicting at this year's event. Okay. Number six, face mask bikinis. Yes. Oh, great for a bikinis. Yes. Oh. Great for a bikini. Have they been washed?

Oh, fresh out the box, I think. Oh, yeah. You can wash them up to seven times. Yeah. Yeah. And they're still better than a cotton one, eh? So you've just got one, two. One over each boobay, and then put your legs through the holes and pull them up for the

bottom part. Cheeky. Some people can't even get them over their ears, let alone getting their legs through the holes and pull them up for the bottom part. Some people can't even get them over their ears, let alone getting their legs through them. Yeah, it's just going to cover it. Okay, all right. And by it, you mean... Just...

The fanny. Just the bottom bit of it. Well, I hope that it covers it. Nothing to these bloody models. I couldn't fit that. A lot of them concertina out. So if you've got a wide one, just unflay it. We need to cater to all audiences.

A wide one. Our narrow listeners and our wide listeners. We welcome one and all. There's no fanscrimination here, ladies and gentlemen. Absolutely not. Well, we'll take them in all shapes and all. There's no... Absolutely. There's no fan-scrimination here, ladies and gentlemen. Absolutely not. Well, we'll take them in all shapes and sizes. Love every one of... Well, I don't know what I'm talking about.

We don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just going to say I was trying not to sound super inclusive here. I feel like I've gone too far now. You have. Number five on the list. You're talking about a non-existent face mask bikini. I don't think you need to explain yourself. Okay.

Cool. Well, you never know in 2022, do you? Cancelled by bloody sunrise. Number five on the list of the top six COVID-inspired world of wearable arts outfits at this year's event. QR code handbags. Oh, yeah. You know that you can take them all down,

but everybody laminated them so they lasted a little bit longer at the store. So you can just whip a hot glue gun up the edge of that. You've got your basic purse there and then make a handle out of them the store. Yeah. So you can just whip a hot glue gun up the edge of that. You've got your basic purse there and then make a handle out of them as well. Gorgeous. Absolutely to die for. Number four on the list of the top six COVID-inspired word of wearable arts outfits at this year's event

that I'm predicting. Handbag, hand sanitizer. You know, you keep a little sandy bottle in the handbag or the purse or the car. Those is earrings. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then you could just have a little squirt when you touch a door handle.

You have it upside down. Yeah. Just when you get home. Because some of them have a little carabiner, don't they? So you can clip them onto your purse. Oh, good fun. Or clip them onto your ears. Yeah, perfect.

In this case. Great spot for them. Number three on the list of the top six COVID-inspired World of Wearable Arts outfits at this year's events that I'm predicting, a decorative swab belt. Oh, yeah. So the swabs are sort of glued to about all the different lengths, all the different thicknesses.

Right. Are they all the negative PCR swabs that the labs just chucked in the bin? Yeah, you couldn't put the positive ones on, you know. You don't want the models getting COVID. Yeah, true. To be avoided. Number two on the list of the COVID-inspired World of Wearable Arts outfits that I'm predicting. A crown made of discarded vaccine needles.

Oh, okay. Got your vaccine. You'll remember the little needle went straight in the bin. Dangerous. Yeah. Hot glue gun them into a crown that goes around the head. Oh, yeah. Sort of like the modern equivalent of Jesus' crown of thorns.

Yeah. A crown of used vaccine needles. And number one on the list are the top six COVID-inspired world of wearable arts outfits I'm predicting. Something for the brides-to-be. Oh, okay. A used tissues wedding dress. Because we all know the nose just turns into a tap, doesn't it?

It does. I'm a bride-to-be, and that tickles me. That could really be. You've got to use the used ones because they fluff up. Like, what's that material? It adds a bit of body. It's like a sponge. It's like a loofah material.

Oh, mesh, like tulle. Tulle. That's the word I was after. Yeah. Tulle. It gives it that tulle effect, You know, a bit of body. Thanks to the used tissues. That is those. Top six.

Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I mean, the best thing on the internet right now is the video of the raccoon coming out of the dumpster. Absolutely the best thing there is. Vaughan, there is serious news. There is serious news. To give the public. And I should have looked up more information,

but I was absolutely focused in on this raccoon coming out of a dumpster. Do yourself a favour and Google that. But it's interesting news as Geonet has raised the alert level at Lake Taupo to one. It's not the first volcanic unrest. Because, I mean, little history lesson, a little geo-history lesson, Lake Taupo is the result of one of the world's largest eruptions ever. Yeah, it wasn't there from the start.

It was a volcano. So the explosion, the volcanic explosion wasn't just big enough to create a lake. It decimated a mountain and created a lake in one. And then it kind of, what did you say the depth was? 160 metres. So it filled itself up with a whole lot of volcanic junk at the bottom. This is what makes the water in there so.

So the lakes. It has to filter through it. Lake Taupo's deepest point is about 160 metres. It contains 59 cubic kilometres of water. Far out. So... That is... Like, you know when you say cubic metres?

That's one metre by one metre by one metre. 60 cubic metres or whatever. This is... That is insane. It's water on a massive scale. It is deep and massive. And that filled up where a volcano was. Yeah, so it went from up above to well down below.

It blew itself to pieces about 180,000 years ago. 180,000 years ago. That's what I've looked up. 180,000. No, no, no. There was a massive one 1,800 years ago, wasn't there? Oh, maybe it was 1,800 years ago. That's what I've looked up. 180,000. No, no, no. There was a massive one 1,800 years ago, wasn't there? Oh, maybe it was 1,800 years ago. Because ancient cultures reported it.

Like, yeah, there's writings in ancient Chinese literature. Not in New Zealand. It was pre-Maldi arrival. So whereabouts are these ancient writings from? China. China and Rome. Yeah, like fully blew itself to pieces. Well, do you remember the big sonic boom in Tonga? China. China and Rome and yeah, like fully blew itself to pieces. Well, do you remember the big sonic boom

in Tonga? Yeah. Was that where they worked out the largest recorded sound heard around the world or something? About the world's largest volcanic explosions, infographic and topos. See how I do this? I freak myself out about it. Why do you freak at topo? It's a toffee.

It's got two different vowel sounds in it, and I want to do it justice. To-po. There we go. It literally comes up there. Do you reckon when the ancient Chinese... Mate, I spent 20 years of my life calling it Taupo. So there's a little bit to blot out there.

Do you reckon the ancient Chinese and the ancient Romans who heard of this explosion called it Taupo or To-po? What do you reckon? And then the Māori arrive and they're like, hey, it's Taupo. And they're like, it's always been Taupo. Yeah. You call it what you want.

I'll call it what I want. Potato, potato. No, those are two different things. So one on the alert level is very low, but there have been a lot of tiny, teeny, tiny earthquakes under Lake Taupo in recent time, hence the raising of the alert level. Mexico had a fairly serious earthquake. Recently Taiwan had another.

I'm not saying the Ring of Fire is playing up, but the Ring of Fire is playing up. I mean, it's a good time to have a look at your civil defence emergency kit. Have you got a kit? I've got some bottles of water. Do you? Some noodles. Oh, I don't. Some noodles!

I don't have anything to cut my noodles with, though. But I'll be fine. I've got some noodles. And there's mints in the fridge. Oh, there's always mints in the fridge. Which will be good for one day because if you lose power, the fridge won't keep it cold. Oh, damn. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Jared, Jared, Jared. I worry about our producer, Jared, sometimes. Is he getting enough nutrition? He doesn't eat a lot, does he? Last night, we had our Bangers Bingo in Auckland. Thank you to all those who attended. We had a great night. It was a great crowd.

Thank you. And I was doing a whip around to see what people wanted to order for dinner. He ordered a plate of calamari. He had two pieces and left the rest of it on the table. He does this every, you eat kids, he eats kids sized meals.

This is a thing about Jared. Yeah, I feel like these bars around the country need a kids menu. For adults. Like just a pizza this big. Oh,

that's a little pitta pizza. Yeah. I'm just saying that when you do, all you do all day is grape vape. Grape vape and Red Bull. And a Mrs. Max pie.

All the nutritional value, a young tradie like him. I just want to steam him some broccoli. You know, I just want to give you a little. I have very healthy dinners. Okay. What do you have for dinner? Mostly vegetables. Okay, good boy.

Yeah, right. I'm worried about his poop. I'll say it. Well, this happened yesterday while you were at home. You needed some help. Yeah, so I had a big day yesterday setting up our bingo event and then managed to squeeze like 30 minutes at home just to do a poo and just hang out.

Yeah. I don't think we needed that first detail there, Jared. It just came out. He knows that I'm concerned about it because of what I see him eating is a serious lack of fibre. Yeah. And the middie had asked me to put a load of washing on, which I do

regularly. But she's been like fiddling with the washing machine. Okay. What's she doing there? She's just testing out all the settings. Oh no, you've just got to whack a quick 30. No, we don't have a quick 30. Oh no. You've got to get a washing machine with a quick 30. Yeah, we know that now. I got to whack a quick 30. No, we don't have a quick 30. Oh, you've got to get a washing machine with a quick 30. Yeah, we know that now.

I don't do a quick 30. Oh, we love a quick 30. I've got 30 or an hour, or I can go an hour 20 or two hours. I just do a cottons. I've got a two hours. You do a cottons. I do a cottons. Yeah, but every now and then, if you're just doing an undie wash,

like nothing that's going to shrink or whatever. You do a hot quick 30. Hot quick 30. I've just looked at a picture of it because I sent it to her yesterday and we do have a quick 15. Of course you've got a quick 30. No, quick 15.

15's not long enough. Oh, 15's not long enough. 15's not long enough. You've still got to have skitties in your own energy. You're still going to have all sorts. No, that's not enough. No, no, that's not enough. That's not going to get the stink out of your stock.

I'll tell you what a quick 15 would be good for. When you've left the washing in the washing machine all day and it needs a rewash. And it needs a rewash with a little bit of a pop-up. That'd be perfect. So I didn't know the latest update on which setting was our setting.

So I called Emma at work. Oh my gosh, she's a busy woman. She's a career woman. She'll be in your mum's after school when you're hungry. And what did you say? There's no fan, ma'am. Mum used to be like, hello, Cooper Aiken Partners,

Christine speaking. Hey, ma'am, it's me, it's Van. Oh my God, Vaughan, what do you want now? Can you put 30 seconds in your microwave? Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am,

we ate all the biscuits, ma'am. We're still hanging, ma'am. Boys, give me dinner soon, Vaughan. Just wait till I get home. Ma'am, ma'am, there's pears in the freezer in the chest freezer, ma'am. Can I have a pear?

Vaughan, there's fruit in the bowl. Wait, have a banana and wait for it, man. We had all the bananas, man. You ruined your dinner, Vaughan. Eat a pear. We had all the pears, man. We're basically the two hungry caterpillars over here, man.

So is this what you did? Is you said, help me? Yeah. Luckily, she answered, and I was like, babe. Hey, babe. How do I do the washing machine? I don't know how to wash my clothes. Is she just like, I thought you were like a patient trying to book an appointment?

Yeah, apparently she'd been calling patients all morning. Oh, my God. And then you called her at work. Then I just ruined her day. Yuck, Rita. Would she rather deal with the 15-second conversation on the phone or getting home and you've done it all wrong? Oh, you've shrunk her knickers.

She's got like, like frilly bits and like woolly bits. You need to use a... A delicate's bag. A delicate's bag. Oh, okay. Your boy knows about delicate's bags.

And you've got to wash one of her bras. You've got to hook them, otherwise they'll hook through your clothes and they'll rip things apart. All right. Heaven forbid there's

a pair of tights in there. Don't get me started. So this morning, as a growing adult, Jared, producer Jared, had to call his girlfriend at work to ask how to use the washing machine. That's embarrassing. We want to know when you've had a similar situation or been on the receiving end of one of these calls from a useless partner. Yeah, you heard it, Jared.

When have you had to make an embarrassing call for help? A call for help. Yeah. Or you've been on the receiving end of this embarrassing call for help. We're not talking about falling off a cliff and being stuck on a ledge, and that's a bit embarrassing, so it's a call for help. That's a different call for help. No, like when you had to call your SO and ask them something that you should know.

You should know. Is margarine the same as butter? Are you just trying to think in your head when you've done this? Nah. No, like, almost all of mine was when I used to just call mum, bother her four or five times. We used to get off the bus at four o'clock. Mum left work at five.

So in that hour, we could call her sometimes every ten minutes. Hey, man. There's no fan-backed biscuits. Man, I forgot to get the chicken out of the fridge to the frost, ma'am. You better pick up some chicken, ma'am.

Ma'am. All right. Philip's been mean to me, ma'am. Any way to listen to me, ma'am. Oh, my goodness me. Yesterday, producer Jared had to call the Mrs. The Biddy at work

to ask how to work the washing machine and we were laughing, weren't we? We were having a laugh, weren't we? Mind you, then, I'm worried about the producer's birth on a whole. I saw Carwin make a cup of tea and this is how it went. Tea bag in, hot water in, milk straight in.

No! So cool! While the tea bag was steaming like some sort of lunatic. No. Like some sort of, you know, they used to give you a frontal lobotomy for doing that in the 1950s. Yeah, you don't know how You would have been put into a woman's

asylum. Yeah, you would have been put into a woman's asylum. So we want to know. A woman's asylum. Oh God, yeah. They get a little bit crazy. We put them in an asylum. So we want to know from you this morning, what was your embarrassing call for help?

Oh, God, I tell you, there are some women out there. And there's some men out there too, but there's some women out there who are really dealing with it. Yeah, with their very own Jareds. Good morning, Jackie. How are you? Hi, Tamari. Very good, thank you.

And like producer Jared, this is a washing machine problem. Yeah, so I expect my kids to do the washing, always have. And daughter rang up and she goes, Mum, the washing machine's not working. I'm going, it's a new washing machine. Bringing up error messages. I'm going, come on, try and work it out. No.

Anyway, got all the details, Googling it online. The error was that she didn't have the door shut. Oh, my goodness. And is it this day's Jackie that you as a parent wonder where you failed? Yeah. You're just going, oh, really? Come on. Shut up.

Needed a washing. F-ing door. Oh, my God. I remember when I used to flat and people would put the laundry powder in the detergent in the fabric softener bit at the top in the middle. And it gets all clogged up. I mean, these people. We've switched to a front-loading washing machine,

which I was anti at first. Oh, they're the best. But absolutely, because nobody can do that. It can't be done. Mind you, there's only two people using the washing machine in our house, so it would be obvious who it was. It's Sade. Jackie, thank you so much for your call.

Richie, when did you have to make an embarrassing call for help? No, I didn't have to make the call. I received a call. There we go. Okay. Now the bird's on the other foot. I work for the police, so I'm busy at work one day, and I received a distressing call from my missus.

She's woken up to find a dead blackbird in the toilet. Ew! I call Aaron. Yeah. Wow! I was thinking I said dead black but I was like in the lounge or kitchen

in the toilet. I'd put a lot of toilet tissue over it and just give it a couple of flushes. I'd give it a good couple of flushes. I'd wee straight on it.

That was genuinely the question. Can't flush down. I would imagine they're quite buoyant. Did you ask have you tried? No.

No. I just know what happened in the end, because both her and my son are petrified of birds, she ended up waking my son up to his lesson in Preston, grabbed a pair of kitchen tongs and went plummetown on it. Right, and then they just tonged the bird out of the house. How did they end up in the toilet? Well, our cat's pretty weird.

She drinks out at the most unusual places. And I'm thinking she probably went in there for, she was probably thirsty after her hunt and went in there and just left it. And then she was like, oh yeah, I could have got my bird wet. No, not for me. Yeah, nah, she's not. I won't eat a soggy black bird.

No, no, no, no. She's a classy South Auckland cat. She wouldn't do that. Dry birds. Yeah, dry birds only. Richie, amazing. Thanks for sharing some messages in. Okay, so many.

I'm going to roll through as many as I can. I called my partner to ask how to turn the lawnmower off because I was finished with it. It was just running. It was just running. There's a lever. You push it right past the rabbit to turtle past, if it's old school.

My partner asked me how much a tablespoon was, called me to ask me how much a tablespoon was because he was trying to measure something out. A tablespoon's a tablespoon. A tablespoon is a tablespoon. But that's a Google, you know? Yeah. My partner called me to ask how to boil pasta.

I got home. It was still in the pot on the stove, but it hadn't been turned on. He was just like, nah. I walked away. It was too much pressure. My husband always calls me when hadn't been turned on. He was just like, nah. I walked away. It was too much pressure. My husband always calls me when he's on dinner duty. Too big, too small.

How to catch the vegetables. He's freaking out. I just don't answer it anymore. If he's on dinner duty and the phone starts ringing, I'm like, he's just going to be asking the vegetable questions again. Oh, gosh. Again. I had a few too many tequilas when I lived in Spain.

Forgot where I lived. Had to call my mum in the UK for a reminder of the address. It's so good when you call someone who's miles away to help you and they're like, what do you want me to do? Yeah. Just, well, have you got my address? You're like, damn, mama. I had to call my husband from the mechanic's car park

because they took my car and they gave me the courtesy car but I couldn't find the handbrake to turn it off. Oh, I've done that. You can't go into the mechanic, you look like a damn fool. Yes. Do you know the first time you get into a car and it's got one of those foot pedal handbrakes? You're like, they've forgotten the handbrake. Yeah.

The car's going to roll. Yeah. It's like, how can a major car company forget to put a handbrake in this car? No wonder American car manufacturers are going down the jurgler. They forgot to put handbrakes in. Exactly. I flattered with some real grubs. They were all fresh out of home.

All they did was stay up all night playing World of Warcraft. They were finally having a final clean up before they moved out 11 months after living there and they asked me how to turn the dishwasher on. We had been there for a year and they had none of them had done it. Oh dear. Oh, I had to call my brother in Australia because my car was stuck

in the middle of the road and each time I went to move it, it would jump back to park. Turns out these fancy cars don't let you drive if the driver's door's not shut properly. Oh, what? I had to call my husband who was in Auckland while he was visiting his dying mother on how to empty the vacuum cleaner.

We've been married for 25 years and I've just never, he's always emptied it, but he was away so it didn't get emptied. Wow. My missus used to call me all the time going off her nut

because the oven was broken and the oven was broken and I had to tell her, no, you just can't turn on the temperature. You've also got to select a mode. Oh, yeah. It's going to be bake, grill. Oh, my God, so many. My partner put a dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher instead of the powder. Oh, no, that's not going to work.

Oh, no, suds, too many suds. Yeah, blew out, blew out, pushed the door open. It was so many suds in it. Called me to ask me what to do with all these bubbles. All right, 7.26 next on the show. It is the biggest podcast in the world. It's True Crime. It's the original True Crime podcast.

And there's been a real-life update. Give that to your next, ZM. I'll sing it loud in case you don't already know. Pack up your... Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. We simply can't talk about what we're about to talk about without playing this. Awesome. Yes. Iconic.

Very iconic. So this is the world's most downloaded podcast. Yes. Well, back in the day when world's most downloaded podcast. Yes. Well, back in the day when you had to download podcasts to listen to. Yeah. Downloaded slash streamed. It came out eight years ago. Eight years ago.

2014 was when Serial came out. It tells the story of Anand Saeed, who was in 1999 accused of murdering his high school girlfriend. He was 17 at the time. 17 years, same age as me. And I think that's why when I listened to it, I was like, I remember that. I remember the 90s, 99, final year of high school. Yeah. Like, it all.

In 2014, you were 17 years old. No, I was the same age as him. And he was 17 in 1999. I was like, you're lying to yourself, mate. You are lying. The last eight years have been very hard on me. You're shaving a few years off. Yeah, I am 25 years old.

But it was. Yes, I'm with you now. For those that love true crime podcasts. It was the original. It was the original. And it was so beautifully made. It was NPR, National Public Radio in America. The narrator.

The narrator, Sarah Koenig. Sarah Koenig, yeah. Beautiful voice. Yeah, there wasn't a phone in the Best Buy. How did Jay know where the car was? All classic, iconic questions. But it really rattled the cage of the entire case. It really brought a lot more eyes to it.

Producer Carl Wayne loves the True Crime podcast. You love your True Crime, but you've never heard a true crime podcast. You love your true crime, but you've never heard the serial podcast. No, I haven't. We're about to ruin it for you. No. I don't think even knowing the outcome, it'll ruin it for you because it's the whole story. It's a

beautifully crafted story. I've been listening to Teach His Pet and Teach His Trial. Teach His Pet is another beautifully told story. A horrific act. But it's kind of like almost like the Jinx documentary as well. Like when the podcast or the documentary series influences the case a little bit. You know, like this has brought attention to it, which is now done.

And effectively, that's what Tiger King did. Tiger King was a podcast that got made into a series. Yeah. And it, you know, brought a whole lot more ice to the case. But it brings more, yeah, more info to it. Yeah. So this guy was locked up, always maintained his innocence. From 1999.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he said he didn't do it. Lots of people said this is a real janky case that got him incarcerated. Multiple police that were involved had, like like sketchy backgrounds of parking evidence. And even listening to the podcast, by the end of it, you were like, he shouldn't have been sent to prison.

There wasn't enough evidence. Not beyond a shadow of a doubt, you know? So, he's out. Last week, it was announced that the prosecutors, the people who put him in prison, the prosecutors for the state of Maryland, said, actually, we don't believe in this case. We don't believe this case holds up.

Yeah. It took them a while, though, didn't it? Well, they found a couple of handwritten notes in a box of evidence. This was never put in discovery. I listened to the 13th episode of Serial. It's about 17 minutes long. I listened to it on the drive to work today. And, yeah, it just kind of gives you a summary of what's changed.

Basically, oh, I mean, spoiler alert, he's out. You may have already seen that. If you followed the case or were into the podcast, you'd know that because it's been on all the news feeds. Yeah, it's huge news. But he, basically a law changed last year that introduced if you're a youth offender, you can apply to have your sentence quashed if you've served a certain percentage of it.

Right. But your case had to be looked into in your ongoing situation in prison to see if you were a model prisoner or whatever. Yes, yes. So this guy, he got looked into and this woman in the first, there was something like 18 boxes of evidence

and the first three that she photocopied, she found two handwritten notes that had never been given to the defence. The prosecutors had pretended they hadn't got them, which is against the law, so automatically the case falls over. Corrupt! It's called the Brady Law. It's a fascinating little listen to. All it took,

all it took was two handwritten notes of, so they are people who called the police and said, hey, about this case, I heard this specific person make threatening comments about Hayman Lee. Who was murdered. Yeah.

I heard them made it. And then somebody else months later called in, different person, about the same person who heard it. So now there are, what, new suspects in this case? Two new suspects, one of which is unnamed, but was investigated at the time. So people are suspicious, suspecting it might be Jay,

the guy that kind of like had a real sketchy story about Adnan's whereabouts and if he was at different places at different times. Yeah. And a guy who was in prison for a multitude of offences and took his own life in 2008 while in prison. Right. Wow. Okay, wow. Right. Wow.

Okay, wow. If you ever listen to that podcast, iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts from, because it's an incredible listen. And there's only 12... 12 episodes. Yeah, this was the 13th.

But will they do more now to cover the ongoing... She has to talk to him, right? Yeah. She has to. Yeah. And, like, the further investigations to find out him, right? Yeah. She has to. Yeah. And like the further investigations to find out how he actually did it. Incredible.

100% worth a listen. The Serial podcast. True Crime is my second favourite genre after our podcast. I get in my car every day and I listen to our podcast. And then I want to hear about a woman being hurt. Just in case you can't remember what we just said.

I don't remember. Yeah, it's good fun. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 94 days, 16 hours and 16 minutes until Christmas. So we're in double digits.

I feel like the last time we did this, it was 100 and something days. No, weren't we just? 100. 101. 101. Yeah. I feel like we were just outside of double-ditch. Man, this year is going so fast.

Daylight savings this weekend as well. This weekend. Yeah, this weekend. Yeah, this weekend. Sunday. We lose an hour. But everything gets better. Yeah.

And lots of reports of Christmas creeping in. Oh, boy. The Christmas heirloom company said, Our Hamilton store is open with all of our beautiful ranges for 2022. They're open there on Victoria Street and they've just really it looks like a Christmas IED has gone off

Christmas everywhere okay absolutely Christmas everywhere Typo is in as well ladies and gentlemen somebody sent this in

saying hello what's this sponsored content from Typo they've got their bauble range up Typo's always got just a weird collection of stuff and then socks content from Typo. They've got their bauble range up. You know, Typo's always got just a weird collection of stuff and then socks with swear words on them.

I've got these socks for Father's Day for my kids. I forgot to tell you guys. It says, slay the day. Oh, slay day. On the bottom it says, bitches, get it done. Fallen. From your kids. Yeah.

My goodness. What are you teaching these young women? That language is inappropriate for the radio at this time. It is inappropriate, but it's on my socks. Our apologies here. From my 10-year-old. It's typos fault, is it? It's typos fault.

Okay. It's typos fault. Ah, more reports of Christmas. Daniel says, the bloody hell are these? Christmas lollies in Papakura Countdown. Because we've seen the Christmas chocolates. Lots of Christmas chocolates, but not as many Christmas lollies in Papakura Countdown. Because we've seen the Christmas chocolates. Lots of Christmas chocolates, but not as many Christmas lollies. But they're out and about now.

The lollies have been reported. The News Hub the other day had a story about Christmas in Countdown. People outraged. They are. They've gone wild. Some people are loving it. Some people not loving it. More reports of Christmas have been flowing in.

Just some more Christmas penetration up here in New World and Town and Christchurch. I know Christmas Pud takes some time but September, this is bloody ridiculous and it's got like Christmas Pud but then beside it a stall of everything you need to make your own Christmas Pud. Oh, okay. Like the fruit and the

flower and the everything. So, you know, there are two options there. DIY or buy as ready to go. Hayley sent in Toy World. Toy World are getting in early this year with their Christmas lay-by sale and the games you can buy. I mean, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it?

If you're going to buy your gifts and start paying them off. The lay-by. Just over three months out. Is that right? Is that good maths? Yeah, just over three months out. Christmas PJs at Cotton On. Oh, okay. Says Lisa, just got served this ad from Cotton On for some kids' Christmas PJs. A message from IML.

I don't know what. IML, perhaps, or an acronym. LoafNZ said, probably something you didn't expect to see in August, Christmas mince tarts. This must have come in, oh, okay, a while ago. Christmas penetration, Christmas mince tarts. That's a bougie bakery already doing Christmas mince tarts. They'll be mouldy by the time Christmas comes around.

They last. And finally, Tara said, huge Christmas vibes arriving in Townsville here in Queensland. I accidentally found it the other week when I was out for a run. Who knew Townsville loved Christmas to have the Christmas shop open already? So that's like the Christmas heirloom company over there in Queensland. So with all that in mind, and 94 days away from Christmas. Donner and Blitzen start stretching those legs.

Christmas penetration is at... 32%! Ooh! What? It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And if you see any reports of Christmas, screenshot them, send them to us on social. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

There's been a local survey conducted asking people how happy they are across New Zealand. Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people responded to this, so it's a good little coverage. I wasn't asked. I'd say I'm moderately happy. Do you want to be asked a little bit more if you're happy? I don't know.

Are you okay? Fletch, are you happy? Vaughan, are you happy? I'd be far happier if I was currently sat on a little tractor. You really want a little tractor, don't you? I saw a little tractor on a truck on the way in last night. Yeah, for Bangers Banga. I saw a little tractor on a truck.

And did that make you happy? And I was like, perfect size. Okay. It's not big. It's not ridiculous. It, it's not ridiculous. It's just a little tractor. You're saying that. My happiness is pinned directly to the purchase of a little tractor.

Right. Yes, it is. No. No, I'm happy. Yeah. Okay. I'm happy. I'm happy most of the time.

I'm very content. Let's start with the least unhappy regions in New Zealand. Least unhappy. Or the most unhappy. The most unhappy. The saddest? The saddest. Sure.

It's Auckland. Oh, it's because of that. Because there's nowhere to park your little tractors. There's nowhere to park your little tractors. There's nowhere to park in general. Traffic. Also like Aucklanders did bear the brunt of a lot of the lockdowns. Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Yeah, Auckland

was the most unhappiest, but they did say overall across the country, we are happier than usual. Okay. So that's interesting, right? We're in like the worst time in history. Yeah, we've come out of the pandemic. It's not over, obviously. No.

We've come out and we're sensing a bit more freedom. We can travel. Well, when I say it's on the rise, it's 20% higher in happiness than it was since June. Oh, okay, right. So they obviously do this. Oh, so this year alone. Yeah, we're getting happier. But that makes sense, right? More freedom, less restrictions.

Yeah. No more mandates. We got that point across, didn't we? So Auckland's the least. Auckland's the least. And the happiest region in New Zealand is Nelson. Oh, yeah. Well, having lived there for years, it's a beautiful spot.

It's beautiful. Arty. Yeah, very arty. Arty, easy to get around. Hops. Hops and tobacco. Hops and tobacco. Even in winter, you still get the lovely blue days.

Yeah. So it's a beautiful spot. Yeah. They also say happiness is linked to age. A lot of old people in Nelson. So only 44% of people aged between 18 and 34 consider themselves happy. Wait, what number? 44, less than half.

Less than half. Oh, that's not good. Whereas 67% of people aged 75 and over are happy. Yeah, they got it all. Because you got the gains in the housing. They got the gains. We can't get in. Do you think it would make them happy, the young people happy,

if we ate the rich? We could eat the rich. How are we going to, like, how are we working out who's rich? Oh, yeah, true. I'm not saying I'm rich, but where's the line drawn in the sand? Here's an idea. Anyone that has a little tractor

upwards, we eat. Okay, because then there's going to be all these little tractors that need new owners. Oh, my God. And we're going to redistribute the wealth.

We're a revolution. A revolution! If I get a little tractor out of the revolution, I'm happy to... No, but then you'll become one of the people we can eat.

Yeah, I know, but then it's important that I establish capitalism as the only option and communism is evil. So that's what happens here is I benefit hugely from sort of communist ways

under the guise of like not communism, democracy, and then I quickly change the rules into this sort of neoliberalism situation. Right. Look, we're still eating you. Okay, you're not getting out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don. Look, we're still eating you. Okay, you're not getting out.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't eat me, don't eat me. You need to stop your journey to health. We need to keep you nice and plump. I mean, don't cook me. I know how to cook humans.

I can cook humans. Have these chocolates. Have the chocolates. He's got barbecues at his house too. This is going to be perfect for us when the revolution happens. We'll chuck him in the smoker. No, no, no.

Get rid of that real gamey taste. Don't eat me. Give him a whiskey sort of charcoal rub. Eat my wife. Have you seen her? There's nothing on him. Oh, come on.

She's too thin. We're going for you, Chubbers. Tender. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. 6.60 before you leave Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. 6.60 before you leave on ZM. They just played on top of a giant New York skyscraper. They did.

To celebrate. Hey, forget about it. Hey, forget about it. Hey, forget about it. I'm walking in. I want a slice of pizza pie. Hey, how about a fettuccine? Ain't too much to ask for.

Hey, Tony. Hey, Tony. What are you doing? Hey, who you a fettuccine? Ain't too much to ask for. Hey, Tony. Hey, Tony. What are you doing? Hey, who are you looking at, Steve? I ain't Steve. I'm Paulie. Paulie. Where's Steve?

Forget about it. I'll buy hold of you. My hour down. Forget about it. They're not letting you on any direct flights to New York. I mean, they missed the trip not sending us. How great was that little improv? Yeah, it was great.

It was great improv. Yeah. Hey, just asking for a friend. Hey, I got a guy. They should put us up there. And speaking of New York, the Upright Citizens Brigade. That's the hot improv club in New York. We should be hitting there.

Us and Tina Fey. Forget about it. Hey, forget about it. Al Segment asking for a friend. You message us asking for a friend. You message us, asking for a friend. You've got a question for my guy? Stop it, or I will throw this coffee cup at you. Hey, look, we're going to try to help you out.

That'll teach you to be violent. Hey, violence never pays. No, we need to drop the tone. We've got a serious email in. Oh, do we? They want our help. They want your help, listeners. Here's the email.

My... You want Big Tony's help? Okay, stop it. Uncle Tony. That's really annoying. You know when you get that look on your face, listeners. Here's the email. Am I Big Tony's help? Okay, stop it. Uncle Tony, that's really annoying. You know when you get that look on your face, I can't. You've got to go. You know I can't stop once you get that tone. We'll mute him.

Now, hi, FVH. Hi. Howdy. Howdy. I'm turning his mic off. He's doing it just to rile me up. He's been silenced. Yeah, he's been silenced.

I've turned his mic off. God, I ought to whack out his kneecaps, you know what I mean? Okay, I'm not joining. I'm not joining. I'm on your team. Hi, FVH. My friend is married to a beautiful man who is also super close to his mama. Okay.

He's a mama's boy. You've got to be. You've got to be. You've got to be. You've got to be. Can you trust a guy that doesn't love his mama? I'm not a mama's boy. No, I love my mum. You love your mum,. You've got to be. Can you trust a guy that doesn't love his mum? You're not a mummer's boy. No, I love my mum.

You love your mum, but there's mummer's boys who are like absolutely smothered by their mums. Very close. For the most part, everyone gets along really well and it's smooth sailing. However, my friend has noticed that his mum will always make comments on what she's wearing and doing on the gram, who she's with, how many male friends are in her pics, et cetera. This is the mother-in-law. Okay. It's gotten to the point where she's hesitant to post anything

out of fear that his mum will make awkward comments either online afterwards or in real life. Asking for a friend, should you have your in-laws on socials and is it too harsh to just block them? No, do that thing where you can click on who can see this list and you can go friends and then customize. No, that's on Facebook. Oh, what's this on the gram?

Yeah. Are you still posting on Facebook? Every now and then. Hey, guys, feeling a bit down today. Born is the only one that I know. Guys, I've got something really exciting on the horizon. Talk more about it soon. Guys, I'm in hospital, dot, dot, dot.

I guess you really can't trust some friends. If you're seeing this, congratulations. You survived the cold. No, this is on the gram. You can, I think, on the gram, you can select certain people to hide posts and stories from. So you can post. Or you can make a close friends kind of group.

Yeah, because if you block her, it's gone from like weird little passive aggressive. You've taken a full defensive stance, haven't you? But then in saying that, I know some people that have a really hard line on no family, no mums, no dads, no aunties, uncles, cousins on any socials. Like they just won't add

them. Yeah, because it's just too complicated. And like if you, like this, and I'm sure she's a beautiful mum, but she sounds very opinionated. Oh, God, that was a bit of a revealing dress you were wearing, Sandra. Oh, my gosh. Susie, who's that man? I don't like the way you were draped around him.

One of those people, yeah, you don't really want them on your socials making a commentary. No. And that's the question. Can they just straight up block them from seeing their stuff? What about a dual account situation? One for the family, one for the teachers. Oh, personal and public.

Yeah. Teachers do that. All right, well, we need your help now. Maybe you've been in the situation where social media has caused some problems with, like, family. Yeah, and their little commentaries, little two cents. Do you think that you should have family on social media? Give us a call. 0800 dials at MSNumber.

Text us 9696. Should you have your in-laws on socials and are you entitled to block them when necessary? So maybe you've run into trouble with this. Let us know what you did, what she should do. Hey, just asking for a friend. Our segment, Asking for a Friend, we've had some correspondence

and if you want to ask us or ask for a friend, just send us a message on socials FVHZM. That's right. Now today, just a quick recap. Asking for a friend. My friend is with a beautiful man. That guy's very close with his mum, but his mum always has a little two cents or a little quip or a little comment to say about this person, a friend. My friend is with a beautiful man. That guy's very close with his mum, but his mum always has a little two cents,

a little quip or a little comment to say about this person, this friend's Instagram post. And it's in real life as well as on the socials. Yeah, so she'll make comments. She's commenting about the socials, but it's in real life. Yeah, and then she'll go afterwards like, oh, I saw on Instagram that you were bloody

having a big night the other night. That doesn't seem right given that John's been... Been doing long hours at the office, is my John. Yeah, you should be home to look after my boy, or do I have to do it myself? Wipe his bum bum. Oh, that sounds horrible. So we want to know from you...

The question they've asked. Yeah. Which is, should you have your in-laws on socials, and is it too harsh to block them if you do? Amelia, what do you think? Morning. Morning. I reckon block her. I reckon block her.

I reckon block her. Block her and then make your account private, then unblock her, and then she can't tell you've blocked her. She's just suddenly not following you. I was going to say, because what if she brings up that you're blocked? You blocked her.

That's awkward. Why'd you block her? Yeah, I don't know. It just makes more sense. If she's going to bring it up all the time. I'll just say I've just made it really close best friends. Yep. She's like, I can see 200 people there.

Yeah, and she's like, what am I, not your best friend? You've got 23,000 followers. I'm such a big fan, though, of on Instagram and social media, not following or just blocking or hiding anything that doesn't bring me joy. Yes. Like, I don't hate follow people like a lot of people do. You know, like, if something doesn't make me happy, I just get rid of it. Yeah, but if she's going to bring it up every time you see her, no thank you.

Do you hate follow a few people, Hayley? I have a couple of hate followers. But it's not healthy. Yeah, I know. Because then you see them and it doesn't make you happy. I'm not healthy. She knows it. At least she's admitting it. Amelia, I know. Because then you see them and it doesn't make... I'm not healthy. She knows it. At least she's admitting it.

Amelia, thank you. Her duty to health is primarily just appearance, not psychologically. Anonymous, what do you think? I'm in the same boat. I reckon block her. Yeah, okay, we're going for a block. But what does she do when she gets hit up about it?

Because you know this mother-in-law is going to confront her about it. There's no way around it whether you block them or just remove them as a friend. They're going to see it either way. So, like, there's no way around it. And at the end of the day, don't have negative people in your life. Like, on social medias, it's just, it's not necessary. Do you think a side tactic, do you think it would be worth the partner of this friend

having a little word to mum and saying like, hey, enough with the comments, eh? Yeah. It would be good. Well, I mean, that would be first protocol is talking to your said partner and just saying, hey, look, I don't really appreciate your mother bringing all this stuff up. But if he's a mummy, mummy, I don't really appreciate your mother bringing all this stuff up.

But if he's a mummy, Sarah doesn't like you saying things about her. Mummy. My dear. But that's the thing. If he is a mummy's boy, that's going to be very hard or impossible for him to do. Wait, if that's mummy, if Prince Charles, is this Camilla who's been emailing in? Anonymous, thank you for your call. Gillian.

Hello, Gillian. Good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good. Anonymous, thank you for your call Gillian, hello Gillian, good morning Good morning Guys, how are you? Gillian, this is long time Friend of the show Mama G I think you've only called into the show a couple of times

Once was about hiding tattoos From your dear mother And now you're calling in with some more mother advice I can see Mama G is certainly into her name And I've just been up I've just had a week with mother advice. I can see your mum is certainly into her name. And I've just been up, I've just had a week with my mum and I still manage to hide them from her. Oh good, good, good. I'm doing great. Still hiding neck tattoos.

She just wore a scarf the whole weekend. Anyway, I'm a mum-in-law as well. Okay. And my philosophy is that unless you're asked your opinion, you don't say anything. I believe it's a privilege to be on your kids or your grandkids' profiles on social media,

and she should just shut up. So you're... Who's going to tell her to shut up, though, Mama G? Whose job is it? The son's really, eh? Because she's going to forgive the son. The son should have a wee chat and just say, you know, look, at the end of the day, it's not really any of your business.

But if I ask for your help, then yes, please help me. But that's my philosophy. It's just easier. And life's different for older generations. And we, you know, need to just give them their, let them have their lives, basically. Wise words. So well said.

So wise, as always, Gillian. Wise words. Thank you so much. See you, Gillian. We're just going to go to Christy, who's in this exact same situation. Good morning, Christy. Good morning. Are you listening to this thinking, okay, I can use all these tips?

Well, actually, no, I could just tell you what to do. Just block her. It's so much easier. Like, I, my mother-in-law, she literally hates me. Like, there is nothing. But I told my husband to talk to her, and she pretty much said, well, she tried to guilt him. She was like, oh, but I'm your mother, and I'm going to be here forever,

and you don't know that you're going to be with her forever. She's a bit manipulative. Oh, no. Yeah. She does hate you. She does hate you. She does hate you. Yeah, she does. So I just pretty much said, look, well, that's fine.

That's your situation. I don't have to listen to you. And my husband chose me over you. So I'm sorry, but this is how it's going to go. And now she tries to manipulate him. Oh, my birthday's coming up. I'm going to die this year so you better come see me.

Oh my god. Oh my god. She sounds horrible. Oh my god Chrissy I am so sorry. I am so I am blessed with my in-laws.

Yeah. Me too. I make jokes about my father-in-law but he's a very good man. Yeah. He's never that

I could not handle that in any way. Oh my god you better come see me. I'm dying. Is she lonely and bored or something? No, she's got four kids. It's just she likes to manipulate people

into believing that she is the best person in the world. And she is the one and only. Like, she gave birth, so she is theirs. Wow. Good luck with that one, Christy. I bet Christmas is a hoot. Well, give them a block.

Well, we don't go to Christmas anymore. But I'm going to die, Christy. Oh, well. Everybody dies. I love it. Thank you, Christy.

Everybody dies. A couple of texts to finish off. Somebody sent this in. This could actually be handy for people listening for this reason or other reasons. If you go to Instagram and click on Help Center, if that's your social media situation,

Help Center, under that, you can go to Manage Your Account and then Managing Your Followers. You can restrict someone's ability to send you messages. You can restrict someone's ability to comment. You can restrict people seeing your stuff in their feed if they follow you. I just want to come up in your feed.

They have to go and seek it out. Right. And even then, when they comment on it, you can choose to... I mean, you'll still see

in the comment. Yeah. You're not public. It's not going out publicly so your friends can see that they're commenting the same things. Just block.

It's a straight up block, I reckon. Just block and get on with life if they're commenting the same things. Just block. It's a straight up block, I reckon. Just block and get on with life. If they're not bringing you joy. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day. What got us talking about rotary clotheslines yesterday after the show? Did I think I said, is that like a Kiwi thing? No, it was before that. I forget. What did we say about rotary clotheslines? We talk a lot of crap. Someone had one or wanted one or say about rotary clotheslines? We talk a lot of crap. A lot of... Someone had one or wanted one or something about rotary clotheslines.

We're talking about those clotheslines. Those clotheslines that Nan and Nana had. That classic, my mum's got one. She bloody loves it. My mum's got a newer one though. Both my grandparents had those Hills Hoist ones. Oh, wow. So you were rich if you had a hoist handle

for your clothesline. But most of them were just fixed, weren't they? Yeah, fixed at a height. But this one, this Hill's Hoist, you could wind it and it would fold itself down. Then you could wind it up. It would pop itself out. And then you could keep winding it and it would push it up. So you could lower it right down because Nan's five foot nothing.

Peg on your clothes and then wind it and lock it. Yesterday when we were talking about the little silly things you get excited about, somebody said they got excited about that. They were getting a new washing line. I feel like it was afterwards we were talking about something else about washing lines. Someone had one or was there enough room for one?

Girl, we talk a lot of crap. Quarter acre sections always had them. They had some cobblestone, a cobblestone path out to it and it was concreted right there. It was almost quite a place. And you did some research, and this has led us to the fact of the day, because not a Kiwi invention.

Not a Kiwi invention invented in Adelaide, in Australia, by a World War II veteran, Lance Hill. He got home from the war. Hill's clotheslines. Hill's hoists. Yep. Yeah, right. That was him.

He was Hill. He got home from the war, realised his backyard was getting a bit crowded, so he designed a rotary clotheslines. Hill's hoists. Yep. That was him. He was Hill. He got home from the war, realised his backyard was getting a bit crowded, so he designed a rotary clothesline. And like, out of some old pipe he had lying around. Do you think at the time he was thinking, God, some bloody young hooligan's gonna play

Goon of Fortune on this? No. I bet he didn't know what he did. Goon of Fortune. Oh dear. I bet he had no idea what he'd unleashed on the world. I mean, had no idea what he'd unleashed on the world. I mean, this even featured in a 2009 Australian Postal Stamp series called Inventive Australia. Oh, wow. Where there was a push mower, a roller door for a garage.

You know, that's an Australian invention. Is it? Yeah, the roller door, the little blue clamshell pool. Oh, yeah. That's an Australian invention. The Esky is an Australian invention, and so is the Rotary Clothesline. Wow. However, this, upon further investigations, was the coolest part about it.

And is this today's fact of the day? Yes. When he started, when he built it, his neighbours would be like, what have you got there? And word got around, and he thought, I might start building and selling these. Except he needed a whole lot of tubing to get it done. The tubing that was used for the first lot of Hell's Hoist clotheslines

was salvaged from under the Sydney Harbour Bridge, originally hung in the water to catch enemy submarines should they try to enter the Sydney Harbour. What? There was a net of, effectively a net of exactly the tubing you're thinking of the same stuff that fences used to be made out of suburban fences that came out of some cinder blocks and went up and then plum joined across down and then you strike a wire gate yeah yeah yeah and you start gates that kind of yeah tubular stuff. Yeah, tubular stuff. Yeah. So it was hung underneath the Sydney Harbour Bridge

so that if a submarine hit it, it would alert them to the fact. Like pretty much just tying tins on strings and tying up two strings and a bear walks through. But I don't know if that... It's like when you're on the farm, one of them would have just had to get out and open the gate and then the submarine would have gone in and then... Oh, it didn't open.

It just hung. Oh, it just hung. It wasn't right. Just get out of open the gate. And then the submarine would have gone in. Oh, it didn't open. It just hung. Oh, it just hung. It wasn't right. Just get out of the submarine. Yeah. Just pop out. Yeah. Go open the gate.

Pop back in. Pop back in. And then you have to close your gates behind you. If it's farming rules, you always have to close the gates. So probably just stay out of the submarine until it's driven through and then shut it again. We'll come back and pick you up. Do you think they had bento boxes on their submarine?

Why do you think that? Because they were Japanese submarines. Yeah. Probably whether you... I could look further into the bento box invention. Thank you. But that'd be tomorrow's fact of the day. About bento boxes.

Yes. Who is bento? Who is bento? And how did they come up with the box? All I was imagining is imagine being on a Japanese submarine in World War II and then what's the food like? Karage. Bunga roll.

That's why I thought maybe at lunchtime you get a bento box. That's the New Zealand urban legend, eh? That they surfaced on the east coast and came ashore and gizzy and stole a couple of sheep. Or was it the Germans that came, a German U-boat parked on? Oh, was it the Germans? I think it was the Germans. And took a couple of sheep.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. To eat on board the submarine. You'd want to cook before you got it back on there. Yeah. You'd lit up the barbie of the submarine. She'd get pretty smoky pretty quick. Yeah, but don't they have an oven on the...

Yeah, but imagine having to do the slaughter and the butchering and stuff. Yeah, you'd do it on shore. In that tiny space. Yeah, you'd do it on shore just for sickness. So this article that told me about it, this is another 99% Invisible, which is a fantastic podcast. It tells you all about inventions and stuff. They say some of the other uses for the Australian backyard washing line, someone put a motor on one and effectively made like a backyard wakeboarding.

So they put polythene all around and dishwashing liquid and water and then motorized the middle thing and they hold on to the outside. My mum would have absolutely booted me in the arse if I ever get caught swinging on your hills hoist

washing line. We got in trouble. We got a hiding. Such a hiding. And of course Goon of Fortune. One of the greatest. A fine game.

Today's fact of the day is the first rotary clotheslines the hills hoist clothes is the first rotary clotheslines, the Hills Hoist clotheslines, the first batch were made from piping used to stop submarines entering Sydney Harbour in World War II. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. We've been doing all this late night talking. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM. Well, in the wake of the Queen's passing, of course, so much is coming out. Like, what's going to happen to the corgis? What's going to, where are clothes going to go? Who are getting the corgis? We've talked about this. Prince Andrew. No, Prince and Fergie.

I thought it was William. No, William hasn't commented on them. He's got no time for that. Did you see their mourning? Yes. Very sad. Anyway, but other things that have been coming out are some of the recipes from her chefs

of her favourite things, like a pancake recipe and her scrambled egg recipe. Apparently she was a really big fan. I was about to say something terrible. She's a really big fan of the scrambled egg, the humble scrambled egg. Because you and the girls are going to make her the Queen's pancakes at the weekend. Yeah, Queen's pancakes. What's the, give us a quick, what makes it unique?

I don't have an oven at the moment. Because the scrambled eggs have a bit of a unique twist at the end, don't they? Yeah, so some of it makes sense, but there's one little bit that I was like, huh. So here's how you make them. The ingredients are three organic brown eggs. Ooh. Hen. I can do that, I can do that.

I can do that. Yeah, you can. One tablespoon milk. Here's where I'll stop you. I'll stop too. No, it's only one tablespoon though. That's okay. Milk.

I always thought milk went into scrambled eggs. No. And then I realised that was just a ploy to make eggs go further. And it makes them all pale and ew and gross. And Carween. No, don't give her a voice. Don't give her a voice. She'sween. But it's only one tablespoon per three eggs. It's only one tablespoon per three eggs.

It's barely anything. I'd use cream, though. You have to use a little bit of milk. It just makes it creamier. No, you use cream or feta. No, you just use eggs. No, no, no, no, no. Feta.

You use milk. Feta melts into the egg. Of course it does. Of course it does. Yeah, you can use cheese and stuff. We're not all billionaires, though. She's all got milky eggs. I never want to come to your house for brunch and eat your milky eggs.

One tablespoon of milk. One tablespoon of butter. Of course, you need it. Yeah, that's right. One teaspoon of finely grated lemon zest. Citrus. This is the bit. Needs more acid.

A pop. So that would make the egg, like, zesty. Hands. Hands, yeah. Well, this is like, it just would add a little something. I don't lemon my eggs, but now I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to go home and have eggs for lunch and I'm going to zest them.

I'm going to use cream instead of milk, though. It continues. Yeah. Freshly cracked black pepper, of course. Yeah. Sea salt to taste, of course. Whatever salt of your choice. Snipped chives.

Chives and eggs. Yes, yes chives. Chives and eggs. Yes, yes, yes. Now here are the two ingredients that are like, what? Kippers, like little tinned fish. That's what a kipper is. Just kippers to serve. God, this is a protein, a good protein breakfast. She was jacked, man. She was jacked.

It's like a little smoked kind of oily fish. A kipper is a whole a little smoked kind of oily fish. Like a sunfish. A kipper is a whole herring, a small oily fish that has been split into a butterfly fascia from head to tail along the dorsal ridge. So she loved her kippers. So you'd just get a tin of that at the supermarket, would you? Antrovies are like, people screw their nose up at antrovies, but it's absolutely key to a tomato sauce.

It's just salt. And then the bit that's got everyone confused is a pinch of nutmeg. Ground nutmeg. Oh. Okay. Nutmeg is new. Earthy. Earthy.

Is that sprinkled over the top or is it? No, in the mix. It's in the mix. So the method, whisk the eggs and milk in the bowl until thoroughly and then add salt to taste. I hate it when they say add salt to taste on something you can't taste. You know, like when you're making meatballs, they're like salt to taste. You're like, I can't eat the raw meat.

Heat the butter or olive oil in a small frying pan on low-medium heat. Add the egg mixture. Turn the heat even lower. That's the key. Slowly stir the eggs with a spatula. Make sure they don't stick to the pan. Just before they begin to set, add the zest. We're adding zest at this stage? At this stage, the nutmeg

and if you like a little extra salt, stir it all together and serve with the chives and kippas and pepper. I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. I'm going to sans kippa, but I'm going to definitely zest my eggs today. I think you just get them in a tin at the soupies. You just get like a smoky, oily fish in a can. Your classic canned fish.

You ruined the eggs for me. Now you're just telling me to get a smoky, oily fish in a can. This is going to be like, you know, when you're like, I'm going to homemade pizzas because it's cheaper. Oh, Jesus. And then by the time you buy all the stuff, you may as well have just gone out for breakfast. Yeah.

Play. ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley's silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Hmm, birthdays. Love them or couldn't care less?

Love them. Coming in at 61%. Couldn't care less, 39%. And I reckon a good half of that 39% are lying. Yeah, I love them coming in at 61%, couldn't care less, 39%, and I reckon a good half of that 39% are lying. Yeah, I love a birthday. Well, no, some people aren't birthday people. We were out with my friend Mike at the weekend at the restaurant, and we were winding up a hat, and he did not want a bar of it.

Oh, no, see, I believe Mike. He did not want a bar of it. I believe Mike doesn't like boots. He said, you all shut up or I will disown you. Yeah. I love it. You love it, whereas you love it. I'm going to bask in my glory, please.

I mean, I love a fake BYO happy birthday just to get a free cake. A free pudding, yeah. A free pudds. Yeah. Just a free pudding on the line. Yeah. Ah, but I reckon. That's my birthday soon.

Some people are like, no, I don't care about birthdays. Try not saying happy birthday to them then on their birthday. How's your day going? That'll be shitty. Yeah. That'll be shitty. Dan messaged in, birthdays, let's just say I celebrate a birth week. Am I 30?

Yes. Is it all about me for that week and every other one? Yes, it is. Dan loves the birthdays. Dan sounds high maintenance. Sari says, I hate my birthday, but I love everybody else's. That's maybe a little bit of an introvert situation there. Yeah, I was going to say, is it more that you don't like the attention?

Yeah. Can't relate. Hayley, love everyone else's celebrating friends and family's birthday is awesome, but my own, take it or leave it. That's another Hayley. I didn't say that. Have we booked anything for your, have we booked our lunch? On the 8th of October?

Yeah. 8th of October? Yeah. 8th of October. No, we haven't. I'm marching all weekend, but we could do something on the Friday. We could celebrate on the Friday. We celebrate me on the Friday. Celebrate me on the Friday.

No, it's on the day or nothing for me. Oh, it's going to be awesome. Doesn't feel right, does it? Something up your sleeve. Something up your sleeve. Lisa said, once I hit the mid-30s, I couldn't give a crapper about it.

I still will say it's my birthday month. All of May to get special treatment, but it's all a front. See, I think Lisa's sending mixed messages there. So unlike any, sorry. Unlike a woman, is that what you were going to say? I didn't say that. I feel like the words were on the tip of his tongue. I'll say it.

It's unlike a woman. Unlike a woman to send mixed messages. Hayley said it. Yeah, I didn't say it. Did I say it? See, now we're in that situation. We hear what we want to hear sometimes, don't we, Fletch? Sometimes I think you do.

Emma said, great chance for the family to get together. A home-cooked dinner and cake we have for each other's birthdays. It feels good. Olivia says, I picked I couldn't care less, but I'm lying. Here we go. There we go. More mixed messages. Good luck to her partner.

I secretly do love them, but I always set my expectations too high, and then I always get disappointed, so I act like I don't give two shits, but I really do. I love them. Somebody please work out this code. Hello, Soundkeeper Georgia here. So I've actually banned Producer Jared from playing the Secret Sound guesses from the show in the Fletch, Fawn and Hayley podcast.

Instead, you need to listen to our Secret Sound podcast to get it, where you can text SECRET9696 and you'll get a link directly to the podcast, or you can just follow our socials, Secret Sound everywhere. All right, toodles. Hey guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes.

Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Yeah, like, no, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that.

And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though.