ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 22nd February 2022

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

Jared's gift  Top 6: Kanye's Beef  Banana Peel  Silly Little Poll!  Caught out by Social Media  Nerd Hijack!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's. That's not how I would have said it. I would have said, thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's.

That's not a TV ad, is it? And I would have said... Oh, fuck. Here we go. Here we go. What are we doing? A podcast? Yeah, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast, thanks to McAfee Virus Protection. So it's McCafe. Try their refreshing McAfee Ice Coffee Virus Protection, now available at your computer. Yeah, didn't they reset that McCaffey guy? Have you watched that documentary? No. Fucking amazing. I know what Tucker says.

He's bonkers. You know McCaffey virus protection? The guy, John McCaffey? Who invented it. Is he dead now? I feel like he's dead now. Did he die? Let me Google.

Let me Google. Or is he in prison? He went. He went. He was like a genius and then got a bit of money and just kind of unhinged. Wow. It was. No money, no problems.

Like the guy that invented the DeLorean. Yeah. He died on my birthday last year. God, what an absolute spotlight hog. He stole my. I believe it was. I don't know i'm gonna have to google now i know oh i found dead in prison cell oh dear oh yeah well what a great and a barcelona prison cell oh he had some pay when i was hours after that uh agreed to extradite him so he's like oh if this

see you later. But a wild, yeah, I'd love to watch that documentary. There's a documentary. Heard wild things about it. But anyway, the podcast thanks to McCafe, not McCafe. Not McCafe. The reason that we're all practicing saying thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's.

I've just run you through how to say it, haven't I? Yeah, because we're preparing for the fact that at some point in the nearby future, one or more of us is going to be unavailable to come in. So I might not be able to say that, and you've been saying it very well, Vaughan, you won't. But then if we're both away, Vaughan will have to say that. Yeah. I'll get it, I'll practice.

Okay, great. How good are you with the buttons, Hayley? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did that at drama school. Drama school, radio school, very similar. Very similar, very similar. Lots of buttons. Well, you know the volume button. I know that one now, but I didn't know it for ages,

and I was in here for about three weeks, always first, and I'd come in and the music would be blasting, and I'd just have to sit here going, are you guys far away? The LAB's too loud. Can you plug a PlayStation controller into this desk? No, I don't believe you can, no Damn it

Because I know all the cheat codes But only on a Playstation controller Right, bugger We'll be stuffed See if you can spot it when it happens Thanks Rachel Good morning, welcome to the show Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Three minutes past six. I haven't got my headphones out of the bag. Hold fire. Hold the line. Women will feel me on this. When you go to feel the piece of jewellery that you wear every single day and realise it's gone. Is it an engagement ring?

No, no, that's on. What are you missing? My necklace I wear every day. I took it off of that photo shoot we did yesterday. Hey. And it's gone. Not in either of the bags that I took to the shoot. It was just not around my neck.

This is why you're in a panic right now. I'm in a little bit of a panic. Is it sentimental? Yeah, it is. Aaron bought it for my 30th. You'll see it. They'll be wearing it on the lotto. Sonia's going to be wearing it

when she does the lotto. You'll be like, you bitch. Is that my necklace? Simon Dallow can pick it up. Yeah, you might have it wrapped around his wrist like a little bracelet. Oh, yeah, yeah. You'll just see a hint of the...

These are my pants I was wearing yesterday. No, it's gone. Oh, well. It's gone forever. Didn't you lose that same necklace last week pants I was wearing yesterday. No, it's gone. Oh, well. It's gone forever. Didn't you lose that same necklace last week? Yeah, I did. I'm always like this and I'm like, where is it? I'm not good.

I don't deserve nice things. It's fine. I'm not panicked. It'll be back there. It'll be behind the scenes. Because you look quite panicked. You look quite panicked. Yeah.

All right. We were absolutely shuffled around TVNZ yesterday for this photo shoot like the mistress, weren't we? We were snuck in the back door. Oh, yeah, we had to park in the loading dock. Because of COVID. And we even got our own port-a-loo in the loading dock because we're not allowed to use the news loos.

Well, you don't want to infect Simon Dallow. He's a national treasure. So this is a photo shoot for Have You Been Paying Attention, the new series. Yep, back next week with Perspex Screens. Next week. Yeah, we've got Perspex Screens, but we're all in studio. Last year we filmed most of it from home, and I tell you what.

That was tough. I'm glad people watched it because it was a punish. It was a punish. The Perspex Screens, what they didn't think about, though, is if the camera's on an angle, it reflects people's names. Like, you'll get the first half of the name and it'll be reflected and it'll make it look like the back half of the name, too.

Yeah. I'll tell you who does good Perspex screen, The Chase. The Chase do do that. Yeah, don't even notice. Nah. Don't even notice. They were testing it yesterday

and they had Tom up there, but from a certain angle, Tom looked like Toot. Because it went T-O and then reverse O and then Tom up there, but from a certain angle, Tom looked like toot. Because it went T-O and then reverse O and then reverse T. If you looked on one side, it looked like mom. And if you looked on the other side, it was toot. Well, lucky the COVID can't get through or around the screens or over. Can't figure out how to get over.

It just hits the screen and it's like, I'm going to stop trying now. Yeah, I'm just dying here. On the show this morning, your chance to win. Again, all thanks to win again, all thanks to Vodafone, a super Wi-Fi prize pack, which includes a Samsung A7 tablet. We're going to do that at 7.30 this morning. The top six is coming up soon on the show.

Yeah, Kanye West's beef list has really got the internet hooting because Peppa Pig's on it. Peppa Pig. He's beefing with Peppa Pig. He's beefing with Peppa Pig. Coming for the Queen herself. Yeah. This is a list of everybody he's had an argument. He's got some beef with.

Beef with. Yeah, it's quite a list. It's not the only one. I've actually got my hands on an advanced copy of Kanye West's Beef List 2.0. Oh, okay. So I've got the top six people and things on Kanye West's 2.0 Beef List. Coming up on the show. I've got some sad stats for you about single-use masks.

Turns out we are using them just once and it's ruining the planet. Do you remember when they said that you could wash your disposable masks? Yeah. I actually accidentally washed one of the blue ones. What do they call them? The surgical ones. And it came out of the wash all good. Yeah.

Because I thought they'd fall to pieces like, you know, when you leave a tissue or a receipt in your pocket. Yeah. And then you have to redo the wash. Didn't they say you can wash them like eight? Up to ten times. Yeah. And they're still better than a clothy.

Yeah. Yeah. The only thing is I think I've bought a dud batch. We got like a box of these blue surgical ones, like 50 of them. And where the straps are glued, they just ping off. Oh, you got a box of dud ones. When we were out at Waiheke Island for your 40th this weekend, I broke seven of them.

So by the time I went home at like midnight, Are you, this could be a you big head problem. It is actually sounding like I've got a big face. There's a lot, is it quite a distance from your ear to your? I do have quite a snozz on me. I do have quite a snozz on me. Edge and a brace back to the other ear. I saw somebody that had to put a rubber band on theirs. Like several rubber bands to get the whole mask around their head.

Because they obviously had like, obviously had a big head. But then that's also like the ones that hook behind your ears. Yeah. I see people in retail that have to wear them all day. I don't know how they do it. Yeah. If I was them, I would have added a rubber band so it could just hold itself around my head.

The back of the head. And use the ears as a sort of a guiding scaffolding. Yeah, absolutely. But I couldn't have it hooked around the ears. That hurts too much to be pulling. Well, I think we need to be washing them a little bit more and trying to save them because new information's come out that we're, as a planet, throwing away three million of these disposable face masks a minute.

A minute. A minute. Oh, wow. How many minutes in the day? Six, seven, six, seven, six, seven. Sorry, a little bit clearer into the microphone, please. 1,440. 1,440 times 3 million. I'm just working out how many that is a day.

That's also how many rotations that kid was doing on the half pipe. I can't even tell you how much that is a day because there's too many zeros. I can't figure out what the number is. But it is an immense amount of mass and pollution. They're calling it a ticking toxic time bomb. Well, this is why next year for, no, this year for wearable arts, I'm doing a whole

garment just of these. Oh, that'd be nice. I know, yeah. What have you done there? I've made a bra. See? Wearable. And a matching, those are kind of like, you know those. And a matching kini. You know those bikinis that the Kardashians wear and they are like a string with a little.

Yeah. Oh, that's quite similar. Well, you wear that when you're getting a spray tan. That's exactly. Yeah. It looks like there's disposable diapers. I mean, there's multiple uses for them. I mean, I get, because we've been told when the fabric ones do absolutely nothing, so

we've gotten into these. But then we're also killing the planet? We're killing the planet. Yeah. But then, do you want to kill yourself or the planet? Well, it's the planet, isn't it? It's Oz's planet. I know, what do you do? Which in turn will eventually

kill me. Yeah, so. Well, I don't really know what we can do. You can cut the things off so that they don't strangle a turtle or a dolphin. But that's about it. But then it just looks more like a jellyfish if you cut those off. And then it's going to choke on it. You know what we need to do is we need to end the mask mandates. I might pop down to Wellington.

Are you on a hard end date of yesterday? When are we going to stop wearing these things? The New Zealand company was turning them into posts. Posts. Oh, right. Okay. But then the problem is people aren't recycling them, are they? They're chucking them in the bin.

Yeah, they put them in the bin. And they're ending in landfill. Yeah, exactly. So is this something we should be chucking in the recycling? And then aliens are going to arrive and they're going to be sifting through our landfills to like, you know, you go for a dig in Egypt and you're finding vases and tombs and mummies and you're going to go for a dig in this current society's ancient stuff one day and it's just going to be trash. Yeah.

Tons and tons of trash. And then aliens are going to pick it up and be like, what's this? Sniff it. Nah, going to get COVID. They're saying that the only way to move forward if we have to keep on wearing masks is to start making them out of like vegetable products

like we do with other plastics and stuff like potatoes yeah potato mask that would go soggy it would go really soggy banana leaf like the

oh yeah banana leaf like the fibrous kind of offshoots of vegetables is that what you mean what about like weaving weaving

like like kete you know like flat it would have to be a tight weave flat it would have to be a tight weave kind of offshoots of vegetables. Is that what you mean? Well, what about like weaving? Weaving, like, like, kete, you know, like a flat. Yeah, have you seen the giant holes? It's a tight weave. Flat, it would have to be a tight weave. Tight weave. Yeah.

Tight weave. Oh, well, I wish I had more positive news at the end of that, but I don't. We're killing the planet. Three million masks a minute, so yeah. A minute. Have a wash of your surgical mask if you can, but then even then,

we're supposed to be using the P2s and the KN95s now, aren't we? Yeah, and they're not washable. Oh, well. RIP, planet. I mean, we just had a two-minute brainstorm. We've called no solution, so I'm assuming it's a dead end. 13 past six.

Next on the show, me and my mates, my boys, the D&D dudes, got Jared a present at the weekend. Producer Jared. Producer Jared, yeah, we got him a present at the weekend. Producer Jared. Producer Jared, yeah, got him a present at the weekend. I know, I saw him immediately afterwards, and I tell you what, there was more than a couple of tears in his eyes. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Producer Jared joins us via wires.

Wires, I think it is. Yeah, I think it's a wire. He speaks into a microphone and goes through a wire, goes into that bit. But it goes through a different, like, goes through the window. It's amazing. The wire goes under the window. It must go under the ground.

Yeah, I think the wires. Okay. Do we have confirmation if the wires go underground or overground? I think they come under because this is raised. This is raised, but his floor isn't raised. So where does it go from his? I think it goes underground. Does it go underground?

Or is it through the airwaves? Or is it a conduit? Well, it's incredible technology. Producer Jarrod joins us from another room. That's amazing. Via wires underground. Good morning. Good morning.

Ahoy hoy. Which is how the guy that invented the communication between two rooms via wire. Yeah. Wanted to always start. Ahoy hoy. We presented, myself, Jonathan Nippet, Callum Ferguson, and Orban Ford via proxy presented.

We wasn't there, that's what you say. These are Vaughan's nerd friends. These are my, well no, just my friends' friends, but we all got into D&D at the same time. Producer, this is Dungeons and Dragons. Producer Jared told us he was capable of running a Dungeons and Dragons producer Jared told us he was capable of running a Dungeons and Dragons and we had been talking about trying it so did

you get big sound of everybody I'm tuning out yeah yeah just happened well there's no we don't need to keep talking no one's listening anymore oh I'll just talk forever then if it's just my own benefit I'll just keep going forever plugged in there on Spotify thought is ridiculous, I gave it a go. I tried. Now they're talking about Dungeons & Dragons. Oh, God, what's happened? It's trending.

What are you going to do? Listen to that dumb Spotify ad because you won't pay for premium or occasionally have to put up with a bit of Dungeons & Dragons chat? Sit down. The ads. Sit down, you bloody do-gooders. And he puts a lot of time into Dungeons & Dragons games. This is Jared.

Into organising it. There's a lot. He's got to figure out what monsters are in what rooms. He's got to come up with village situations, storylines, et cetera, and we greatly appreciate it. So we bought him a 3D printer. How did you as a group brainstorm? Like, we should get him a gift for all the effort he puts in.

What should we get? Was that a little chat on the side? Well, he bought, we were going to get him, a while ago we talked about getting him resin kits because he wanted to make his own dice, but then he did that himself. He bought his own resin kits. And we were like, well, one day we plan to play in person

because we've been playing online. Right. On like, on websites. Websites. Jesus Christ, 80 years old over here. So it's HTTP. Right. On websites. Websites. Jesus Christ. 80 years old over here. So it's HTTP. Dot.

Two dots. Whatever that's called. W-W. Couple of slashes on the floor sure it's forward or backwards. It's usually forward. So he'll be able to print things. Right.

How much is a 3D printer? It does matter. Cost is inconsequential. Okay. Because you know a normal printer, when you buy a refill, it's like $400. Oh, I know.

But it's... How much is 3D printer ink? I don't know. No, it's not ink. It's resin. This one's resin. Ink. Inky resin.

Is it kind of like, you know, extreme home makeover where they get families that weren't quite well to do. They give them this incredible hand. And then they're their rates go bankrupt. So they then can't afford to sustain it. That's what I have said to the guys every now and then.

If we want to print out bits and pieces, we're going to chuck it for the reason. Is he a sponsor child now? Effectively. Effectively. His name is Jared Each. Oh, right. This is Jared Each.

Yeah, but we gave them this. What were we up to? You surprised them. We surprised them with it. This 3D printer, by the way, is the equivalent of 4K. You know 4K, the TV screen? On your TV, yeah. Yeah, so it can print to within one thousandth of a millimetre.

How tempting is it to print a handgun? Not at all. Definitely not. What did you, immediately when you opened it, other than you cried, let's be honest. You did cry. Then you came over to the group and you were like, oh man, you were so taken aback. And then you hugged that box on the ferry so no drunk person would steal it. Yep, I did.

What did you immediately think? I'm going to print that. A handgun. Not a weapon. A penis? Ninja stuff. No, because you could just buy a deli, couldn't you? Not based on your own penis.

Oh, you mean make a mold of... You could scan your own... You could do a mold, can't you? Yeah, true. That would probably be easier. But then you've got a plaster of Paris penis, and that doesn't handle the water well, does it? Like you get a cast wet.

No. And it goes soggy. But these resin-based penises could withstand. Okay, so handgun or dildo? Is that what you're thinking? Yeah, it's probably more likely to be the dildo. Yeah. I've seen a lot of 3D printing.

They're very coarse. No, no, no, this one. This is the thousands. Oh, this is the 4K. Dildo printer. If that's the case, you might as well return back to papier-mâché. Yeah. You know, if you can.

We just covered why plaster of Paris wouldn't be suitable. You can't papier-mâché. You'd have to get the chicken wire and wrap it around to start and then start slattering on the newspaper and the glue. What are you going to print, though? Oh, heaps of weird shit. I'm going to print, like, nerdy what do you want anything fletch i could print you a handgun no no no a handgun stop saying you want a 3d print handguns that gets you on lists yeah what kind of

weird how would it be you could be like white dudes with shaved heads can't be saying on the radio they want to print your own handguns. It's not something I would even dip my toe in. I am joking. Can you print something before the end of the week? I need to see how it works. I'm waiting for my, like, Resiny goo to arrive. What, you didn't even buy him a bloody cartridge to go with that? I thought there was goo in the box.

Oh, my God, great present. Oh, wow. How much is a goo cartridge? About $100. James! How much printing do you get done How much is a goo cartridge? About a hundred bucks. James! How much printing do you get done with a hundred bucks of goo? I don't know yet. It comes in a one kilo bottle, so I assume a fair bit.

That's a lot, though. Oh, that's at least two handguns, I reckon. Or one really big handgun. All right, the top six is next on the show. Someone's going to be robbing a dairy with a 3D printed gun, and they're going to be like, Fletletch is that you under that balaclava from the yummy ZM think tank

this is the top six eee there Kanye West's beef list he's ramping things up because he's got a new album coming out yeah I'm somewhat what's the word I'm somewhat...

What's the word I'm after here? Reluctant. I don't talk about him because I find him just a dick. But this is pretty funny. Their beef list is Taylor Swift, Nike, Kim Kardashian, his cousin. Nike? Because he's an adidas. Yeah, right.

Wiz Khalifa, Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Cudi, Kid Cudi, Billie Eilish, Peppa Pig, Pete Davidson, Drake, Ray J. Wait, wait. You can't just sort of plough through this list with Peppa Pig in there. Peppa Pig. Well, okay, so here's the reason the Peppa Pig beef stands is that Peppa Pig's album called Peppa's Adventures got rated at the same time as his latest album

Donda. Donda 6. Peppa Pig 6.5. Oh wow. And Peppa Pig tweeted, Pepper didn't need to host no listening party to Mercedes-Benz stadium to get that.5. Wow. Microphone. She is a sassy wee swine. Microphone. Snout. Yeah. She's something, right? So he doesn't like

Peppa Pig. I didn't know Peppa Pig was she who. I know. For years I thought Peppa Pig was. Yeah is Peppa Pig, is she, her? I know, for years I thought Peppa Pig was, yeah, Peppa Pig is she, her. A man. Was a boy. Yeah. Peppa Pig is a girl. No, that's George, your little brother, George, he, him. Oh, okay, right. Daddy Pig, he, him. Right. She, her. Mother Pig. Oh, I didn't know.

I just, I didn't even know there was a gender there, but okay. Yeah, yeah, it's, carry on. It's Peppa Pig. Um, who else is on this list? What did I get out to? Peppa Pig, Pete Davidson, Drake, Ray J, Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Kimmel, South Park, Deadmau5. Justin. Justin Timberlake. Why have they

got beef? Why is Justin on the beef list? I don't know. Jimmy Kimmel? Did Jimmy Kimmel tease him once? Maybe, yeah. On the list. South Park, Deadmau5, Beyonce, Bruno Mars, J. Cole, Travis Park, Deadmau5, Beyonce, Bruno Mars, J. Cole, Travis Scott, Harriet Tubman, civil rights hero Harriet Tubman, Louis Vuitton, the CEO of Zappos, Evil Knievel, the stunt.

Oh, it's because he did that video back in the day. Remember he did that video where he was a stuntman? Oh, okay. Was Pamela Anderson in it? Or something, some bombshell at the time was in it. And it was Evel Knievel's Get Your Own Gig and that kicked off a feud there. Dennis Haybert, I don't know who that

is. Amber Rose, MTV Beck, George Bush Jr. TMZ. I don't know what Beck did. He got a devil's haircut? I don't know. Because didn't Beck win Best Album one year? Everyone was like, Beck? Yeah, that's right.

ADL, American Music Awards, 50 Cent, and Kris Jenner. Wow, what a list. That was tweeted by Hip Hop By The Numbers, who had gone through his history, and Kanye retweeted it saying, come on, guys, this list is twice as long. You've got to put Apple, Spotify, Vivendi, Universal and then just list like 50 more people,

the whole cast of SNL, Black History Month, Obama, Hillary Clinton, Jeffrey Bezos, Disney liberals and of course Skeet. I don't know who Skeet is Skeet oh why is he beeping with black pastry

no but that's what he calls Pete Davidson isn't it but Pete Davidson was on the first list Pete Davidson was on the list he was on there twice let these people know

what Skeet meant when he was growing when we was growing up it's for everybody I don't know I feel like Skeet's a Chicago hip hop scene thing don't question it too much

because you're going to end up on this beef list. Yeah, you don't want that. What happens to those on the beef list? They're on the beef list. Well, I've got the top six. Actually, a good list of people, isn't it? The top six people and things on Kanye West's beef list 2.0.

He's doing up more of a beef list. Okay. Number six on the list, Paw Patrol. He came for Peppa Pig. Oh, yeah. And now he's coming for Paw Patrol. A rider in that team of amazing dogs that, you know, run the emergency services of that town. Yeah.

Seems crazy that an eight-year-old lives in that giant tower with all the technology one could ever want. And that's why Kanye's jealous. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six people and things on Kanye West's beef list, 2.0. Beef and lists. They're tied for fifth place. Yeah. Great. He's angry at beef and lists. That's hired for fifth place. Yeah. Great.

He's angry at beef and lists. Number four on the list of the top six people and things on Candia West beef list 2.0. Pringles cans. Grain waves after the flavor change. And Waka Changi salt and vinegar chips for being too Moorish. Yeah. Oh, they're so good. Because you eat the whole pack and then by the end of it, your mouth's just like, what

have you done to me? And you're dry. Very dry, but they're delicious and you can't help it. Put them on the beef list. Put that on the list now. Number three on the list of the top six people

and things on Kanye West's beef list 2.0 the Grand Canyon because it sounds like you're kind of saying the Grand Kanye and he's like no. I'm the grandest Kanye.

Right. Along those lines number two on the list of the things on Kanye West beef list 2.0, anyone called Kane. Because it's very close. Because it's easy to misspell Kanye as Kane. Yeah.

And number one on the list of Kanye West's beef list 2.0, Egypt. What did they do? No, no citation. Just a bit much, he said. It's a bit much. A little full on. Holding on to past glories, maybe, and not like doing much, he said. It's a bit much. No full on. Holding on to past glories maybe and not like doing anything in the modern

modern age. Like build a new pyramid or something. When was the last time someone knocked up a pyramid? Lazy. It is resting on its laurels. Yeah, right. Okay, a bit much. Yeah, it's just a bit much. That's today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

A 66-year-old woman in Christchurch is absolutely irate after suffering an accident in Countdown recently. Ooh. She said it is because of something horrendously dangerous. You won't believe this. Trolleys. No. Trolleys been driven by children.

Not trolleys. Not trolleys driven by children. Not trolleys. Not trolleys driven by children. That machine that keeps the muscles wet. It's so gross. I started to look at one yesterday. There was like a bag of cockles beside it. I was like, you don't want to get involved in this cockles. No, no, no, no.

Anyway, this woman was in Countdown in Christchurch. And as she is wont to do, she was doing a weekly shop and she was pushing her cart around when all of a sudden she took a tumble that left her on the floor calling for help. She says, my cart went one way and I the other, falling hard on the ground. She suggests that maybe she hits her head because she can't remember much after that. Oh my

gosh, what caused this fall? Well, she was offered help. A wobbly wheel. No, she was offered help. She had a sore leg for two days afterwards. Oh no. Now, she believes she took a tumble due to a smashed banana that had been discarded. Straight

out of a comedy. Smashed banana that had been discarded by a child. That's the only way that she can figure out what happened here. She believes it's because of the free fruit. They do,

they do the free fruit and the kid was like, I don't want the rest of this banana. Chucked it on the floor. The kid was like, yuck, that one's mushy

and I prefer them green. Chucked it on the floor and like, like a little cartoon, she took a tumble and now she is calling for the free fruit to be cancelled. She said, I just want the bananas out of the kids' free basket as it's dangerous for health and safety.

So she still wants the apples or the mandarins? Apples are fine. Oh, mandarins could be a bit slippery. Mandarin could get lodged in a wheel. Mandarin could be a real break on the wheels. It might not be a slip situation. It might be a sudden halt. But come on.

Look where you're walking. Where's the personal responsibility here? I would argue she was unsteady on her feet. And I don't think... There is a bin for the fruit bits that you don't eat. Thank you. The supermarket has said, look, we do provide bins. Oh, they're

not going to get rid of it, by the way. Banana is a great source of potassium for the children. We do provide bins. Think of the children. Where will they get their potassium? Where will they get it from? They won't get it. They won't grow strong.

We do provide bins in the store for fruit peel and we remind parents just to keep an eye on their little ones when they're enjoying the free fruit that we provide. This is reminding me, and I've Googled this, an Australian woman, she slipped on a grape. Do you remember this story? Yes, I do. she slipped on a grape. Do you remember this story? Yes, I do. She slipped on a grape.

She got $8,000 out of Coles. She was after, like, millions. She actually ended up having to pay their legal bill as well. So I'm assuming that would have been more than $8,000. So she technically got nothing. Also, a woman in Australia got just shy of $700,000 New Zealand dollars when she slipped on a hot chip.

They must have done hot chips. It's a mushy hot chip. And that actually gave her a serious spinal injury. Oh my gosh. So her claim was awarded because of the greasy chips and Woolworths. Right.

But yeah, apparently the court ruled in that case reasonable care would require the supermarket to check the floors at intervals not longer than 20 minutes. Yes, well Countdown said that they will be, a Countdown spokesperson said they will be doing floor checks every 30 minutes in the produce area to check for fruit litter

in addition to their usual health and safety checks. Supermarkets are pretty good with doing a little bit of an aisle check. Yeah, not a lot. And they're not often for a food place, not often stuff on the floor. Yeah. Well, she's not pushing for any money, but maybe after hearing your examples here.

Well, luckily we don't live in Australia or America. She's probably out of luck. Yeah, I don't think you're going to get that in Christchurch, New Zealand. But I hope the sore legs eased up a little bit there. And you're healing well. Southern Cross have done a study. The Great Resignation. Is this the constellation?

The stars have done it. Yeah, not the insurance. The health insurance.ation. Is this the constellation? The stars have done it. Yeah, not the insurance, the health insurance. Gotcha. Travel and insurance people. I can see why there would be some confusion. Looking at worker satisfaction, you had a lot of talk about the Great Resignation. Yeah, a lot of people wanting to leave their jobs.

Yeah, and I mean, because we don't have people coming into the country, a lot of people can get, you can get a bit of money, can't you? Yeah, gotcha. If you move companies. Yeah, you can demand more and say, otherwise I'm going to walk and go find a job somewhere else. Inflation's on the way up.

Yep. On the way up, it's here. Vegetables, real spinny. Yep. Are we just naming more expensive things? Fuel. I've sworn off vegetables in an effort to save a bit of money. Keep prices down.

You're just doing canned goods now. Beet. Yep. Bread. Bread. Bread and canned goods. Yeah, nice. Primarily for me.

And I've been living on Parliament grounds for a while, so it's quite hard to prepare. That's just a diet of bread and sausages. Yeah. Well, nearly half of workers surveyed, 46% said they feel grateful to have their job. Only half. How many people do you think actually love their job?

Would you say you love your job or do you just do it? I feel like Vaughan's not going to say he loves his job. You just do it, don't you? I do it. Pay the mortgage. I get it done. Yeah. No, I like it.

You just don't like working, do you? I like it. Full stop. Like or love? I'm a love. Because 24% Why are you pressurizing me into putting a label on it, you know? Just let me live.

24% of people love their job. 35% of people enjoy going to work most days. That's low. It's low, isn't it? Yeah. I wouldn't go to work if I didn't enjoy it. Yeah, same. My instinct is just to be like, break free.

I find something I enjoyed. So when it comes to what New Zealanders say is the best thing about their job, 42% say they have a good work-life balance. 34% say a supportive employer or team is the best part of their job. Sounds like those workplaces that do fun activities. Oh, nothing here. Like you go around the city on a scavenger hunt. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, you fall backwards and you've got to catch me. 30% say the best thing about their job, colleagues that feel like friends or family. I'd say that's true. Now, when it comes to the dream job, twice as many men, 15% than women, 7%, said they've already got their dream job. 7% of women have their dream job.

Yeah. That makes me sad for the woman. Yeah. But then it also makes me sad. What do you get? Like periods and having to give child birth. What a pleasure. Yeah.

Cool. But then only 15% of dudes have got the, that's a very low number even for that, but it is twice as much as females, yeah. I mean, are they in the right industry? They just haven't hit what their dream job in that industry is. Maybe that. I hope so.

So they're working towards it. They can see light at the end of the tunnel. It's an interesting thing. I've always found it, I guess it's just where you place your value. Like I've got lots of friends that just have their job and their job is the thing that just gives them money to enjoy their life. And their joy comes from outside of working.

I guess the only problem with that is like, we've spent so many hours of the day, well not us. It's honestly the easiest job I've ever had in my life. Don't you don't tell people that, Hayley. People spend so much of it. Management could be listening. I'm so grateful to be here.

At this very hard job. It is so difficult. But you're right. But we spend so much of our life working, so it's strange to sort of, I don't know, I come from a family of people that turned their hobbies into their

jobs. So I've always enjoyed it. But I don't know. That's a surefire way to stop hating your hobby. Oh yeah, you've got to get a new hobby. Yeah, yeah. All right. A couple of minutes away from seven.

Add to Cart returns this morning and it's Listener Pick Carts. All this week. Chance to win some amazing goodies at eight o'clock. The first chance. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. If you haven't seen it yet, I would recommend it because I really enjoyed it. It's a new Netflix doco called The Tinder Swindler.

It's blowing up at the moment. I know. It's been on my list. Because it's been out a few weeks now. Yeah, it has. It's been on my list. And everyone's like, you've got to watch it. It's a short watch. It's a short watch. It's like an hour and a half. Yeah, it's been out a few weeks now. It's been on my list and everyone's like you've got to watch it. It's a short watch.

It's like an hour and a half. Yeah, it's a movie not a series. It follows Simon Leviev who they call the Tinder Swindler. I don't trust anyone called Simon. I've never met a Simon that I could trust. Never met a Simon you liked? So immediately he's on my radar

as somebody that I'm looking at with slightly squinted eyes. Well, alarm bells didn't go off for the women that he swindled as quickly. So what he would do is he would like approach them on Tinder, take them on a private jet. He lived this like high life with all the designer staff and then eventually go. He said his family was in diamonds and he'd get in trouble. They're like, they're out for me because of some diamond conflict.

I need you to send some money because I can't use my card over here or they'll find me. And that sounds ridiculous but apparently from the articles I was reading, he swindled an estimated 10 million. Is that right? How was he affording the private jets from previous swindles? Yeah. So he's like,

I need 25,000. He'd use that to hire a private jet and take the next victim. Yeah, so mainly the doco followed... He was Ponzi scheming himself. The doco followed like three women, two in particular. Yeah. But then it kind of revealed like there was a backlog of them and then more people were like, yeah, I got swindled by this guy

as well. Anyway, so everyone was like he's an asshole, blah, blah, blah. And then finally they, like he was still on Tinder. And then so after this doco, they finally got him removed from Tinder. He did time and then he came out and went back to his swindling ways. Would you, in your single days, get swindled? Swindled aside, would you have met up with him just looks-wise?

Would you have even matched with him? He's a handsome dude. I guess the moment he offered me a trip around the world on a private jet, I might have been a bit more swindle-able. Swindle-able. You know what I mean? Yeah. But these women were getting out loans to help this guy.

They didn't have a lot of money. So that's how it got really bad. Anyway, so he hasn't said anything about this. He went straight back onto Tinder and lived the high life and blah, blah, blah. He's finally, there's a new little two-part doco coming out being made by Inside Edition. And they did a little tease where he was saying, I am not this monster.

I am not the Tinder swindler. I was just a single guy that wanted to meet some girls on Tinder. I'm not a monster. Also, they teased that he's got a new model girlfriend. Wait, so he didn't take their money? He did. Okay. No, he did. Is he in diamonds?

I don't know. Well, no. No, he's not in diamonds. He's a swindler. That was his story. He's got this model girlfriend who's in this clip as well, and they're teasing that she's going to reveal why she's sticking with him even though she knows he's the Tinder swindler.

I believe it's actually coming out today. But even one of the women that he swindled is like, I'm still on Tinder, I still believe in, you know, finding love. Yeah, absolutely. I would have just given that up a long time ago. Yeah. Well, I mean, he's just like a compulsive liar, basically. And so I imagine that this doco,

is it going to be him just still lying? It was good, though, because, like, the amount of money that these main women, they were still paying it off. So he went to jail, but, like, never paid it off. Never paid it. So they were paying back these debt collectors the money that they had borrowed to give to him. And I believe after the doco, they did, like, a give a little page

and then the people paid it off. Oh, that's nice. So they didn't have to do it. But, yeah, he served time in an Israeli prison for what he did. 15 month sentence. He only served five months of it. Well, if you want to follow up. He swindled his way out of prison time.

He's the swindler. If you've seen the docker, you want to watch the follow up. Who was doing that? It's Inside Edition. Inside Edition. And you reckon out today? Yeah, well, they said it's Feb 21, so that's American time today. That's today.

2-2. 2-2. 2-2. 2-2. At 2-22 this afternoon. I believe so. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Our silly little pole. That's perhaps our silliest little pole yet.

Milk before cereal or cereal before milk? Cereal in the bowl. Add milk. That's how cereal works. You would think that would be the way every single person does it. Because then you know how much milk, right? Yeah. Like, for example, Weet-E-Bix.

Who's eating Weet-E-Bix? No one's eating it. The All Blacks. The All Blacks. Contractually, they have. Contractually, they're like, oh, this is dry. Yuck. Put some butter on it.

But, like, for any cereal, you put it in, because you want it to go just above the top of the cereal, right? Well, the cereal is the thing that you portion, isn't it? And then your milk is based on that portion. Relative to, yeah. And it's easier to do that with cereal first. There are monsters out there that put the milk in first. You put milk over the cereal?

What do you mean? The milk should be under the line of the cereal. Well, it just goes to the top, doesn't it? You just tap the cereal every time you want to douse the milk. You tap it under and then... Otherwise, you have too much milk. For example, this bowl here that you've got. I like too much milk.

I don't want to try porridge. Too much milk. Too much milk left. Find a balance. That's not my milk. I don't care. Right, there it is. That's true. There's the answer. Wasteful. Company milk. Ripe porridge. Too much milk. Too much milk left. Find a balance. It's not my milk. I don't care. Right. There it is.

Yeah, that's true. There's the answer. Wasteful. Company milk. Wasteful when it's somebody else's milk. Well, milk before cereal is cereal before milk. Overwhelmingly, 98% of people said cereal in the bowl, milk on top. But that's still a lot of people.

Even 2% of people. That's a lot. Yeah. 2% of people are milk before cereal. Do you reckon they're just trying to be provocative? And they know it. Or they accidentally press a poll to get through the next story? Yeah.

Because it was annoying them? Yeah, there's no way in which that's the right way to go. Absolutely not. Did anybody try to defend that? I will go through some comments and we'll see if there's anybody in there. Jess said, how do you know how much milk you need until after you've decided on the amount of cereal? Exactly. There's Jess with some common sense.

William said, if you do milk first, you're an effing psychopath. I'd agree with you too, William. That would be a good psychopath test, actually. It would be. How would you do this? Yeah. I actually use water on my cereal because I don't like the taste of milk. It's always worse. I think it's almost worse.

I think that's a psychopath. Cereal's not for you. Yeah. Get a grab a piece of toast in you. What does cornflakes look like with water? Ew. Yuck. Like what do any cereal, even like Cocoa Pops. Fruit Loops.

Yeah. What do they look like with water? No, no, no, no. Just don't do cereal. I think toast might be more up your alley, Adam. Yeah. An omelette, perhaps. Yum.

Mara says milk before cereal. No. So the cereal doesn't get soggy. Well, it's going to get soggy. It's soggy on the bottom, soggy on the top. Putting in like a spoon load of cereal into a bowl of milk and then just eating that spoon load and then pouring another spoon load in. I think Cocoa Pops would be the only one I put very little milk in.

So just like a little bit. But then I'm just like crunchy, crunchy, crunchy. A little lubricant to get to the end. You're supposed to put more milk in Cocoa Pops. At the end you've got a chocolate milkshake. Nah, it's never chocolate enough. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy. Yeah, only weak.

Louise would like to offer a counter-argument. Okay. Milk in a separate glass with cereal in the bowl. Is she a dipper? Oh, so she's going like, get the cereal, dip in the milk. Yeah, I mean, that's the way to keep it crunchy. You've doubled your dishes, though. Yeah, but I'm not against that, actually.

That would be good for Coco Pops. Who's got time? That would be my question. Yeah, and you're going to spill a lot. Like going from the bowl with the cereal in it to get into the thing with the milk in it, you're going to have Coco Pops pissing off the soaps.

And they're going to fall into the milk. She also joins the psychopath category. You're a psychopath too, Louise. So when it's a yum choccy one I will put milk in first so it doesn't start getting soggy before you put the milk away. That's Kate.

Psychopath. How long are you taking to put the milk in? Where are you walking to put the milk away? Are you going to get changed and have a shower? Are you making it at home and then packaging it up and taking it to work? Do you have a cold store buried outside? Weird. That uses the Earth's consistent temperature to keep things cool?

Oh, God, no. You're crazy. But overwhelmingly, 98% of people said no, it's definitely cereal than milk. I want to say in general, cereal's quite a silly breakfast. Have a smoothie. Is porridge cereal? That's not a, that's oats. Porridge is a cereal. Oats is a smoothie. Is porridge cereal? That's not a... That's oats. That's different.

Oats is a cereal. No, I think of cereal more as like man-made. Because that's how you think about it. There's pretty... No, there's got to be crunch to cereal. No, you're thinking of... What's your other soft cereals? There's lots of soft...

Like Weet-Bix and stuff go soft. No, but that's crunch. Yeah, but that's soft. But oats is a cereal. Oats is rolled oats. You're not listening crunch is, yeah, but that's soft. But oats is a cereal. Oats is rolled oats. You're not listening to me. Oats is a cereal. No.

It's not. It falls in the cereal. Oats is oats. Are you all talking about manufactured boxes? Yeah, that's cereal. Oats is more of a cereal than Coco Pops is. You're a cereal killer. No, it's not.

Coco Pops is more of a cereal than oats is. Oh my God. Oats is a natural thing. Thank you. It's rolled. They get theops is more of a cereal than Oats is. Oh, my God. Oats is a natural thing. Thank you. It's rolled. They get the Oats. Oats. Cereal grains.

Cereal is cereal grains. No, we're talking about boxes of cereal. Manufactured. Yeah, it's manufactured crap. Cornflakes. You can't exclude. I'll put muesli in the cereal category. A cereal is any grass cultivated for the edible components of its grain.

It's a lost argument, Bourne. Composed of the endosperm germ. It's sloppy porridge. It's sloppy porridge. It's its own thing. It is a cereal grain. It's not cereal. I'm going to kill you.

Can you turn this mic off? You know who you two sound like? The protesters in Wellington. You're not listening to science. Well, maybe they've got a point. I take that back. And if you're not careful, you'll get human faeces thrown at you soon. Yeah, you will.

I'm going to get my clear perspex guard out if you keep attacking me like this. Well, jokes on them because I fight faeces with faeces. And I had a big weekend. Well, the study's been done looking at first dates, and in particular, first dates that involve some kind of competitive element. Like, say you go on a cute first date, you go bowling. Would you ever do that? No, because I am ugly competitive.

And that's what the study's looked at. I am ugly competitive. And that's what the studies looked at. I find this fascinating. Like mini-putt for a first, any kind of competitive element to a date? Or like trying to convince people that oats is an example of a cereal grain and they just absolutely stonewall it. That's a clear win-lose situation. Yeah, and I'm glad I've won

because cereals are most commonly cultivated in the form of wheat, rice, rye, oats, barley, corn and sorghum. We're saying that a guy that's been playing a lot of Farming Simulator 2022, my boy, I've been absolutely harvesting those oats and we take them to the cereal. Hayley and I are just saying that oats and porridge is

just a rolled grain. It is its own thing, whereas you're talking about processed cereals. It's a cereal grain. Added with sugar and all kinds of nasties. That was you saying that that's what a cereal was. What I like to get my information from is I like to Google image search it. So I just Google image search cereal, and it's cereal as we know it.

We're talking your Fruity Loops, your Corn Flakes, your Ricey Puffs. No further investigation required. Exactly. Porridge, not to be seen. Now, whether or not you want to, on a first date, go tempering bowling or argue about cereals, it can be... I haven't been on a first date for ages,

but I feel like I'd definitely get into arguments on first dates. You'd be flipping tables. You would. So this study looked at competitiveness and the competitive nature getting in the way of potential love on first dates. One in 10 singles would dump a potential partner

if they got too competitive, which is quite low. I would have thought they might have been a bit higher because you can see the ugly side of people when you beat them at ten pin or a mini golf. Yeah, it's not so much the competitive side. It's whether or not their competitiveness turns them into a sore loser. So 13% of men say that losing to a new partner is a massive turn off.

Oh, so they need to win to feel strong. Yep. Women, 9% admitted the same, that it would be a turn off. And get this, who do you think would try and crush their first date in a game, men or women? Women. Yes. Yeah, I know. You are correct. We're a very competitive gender.

So women revealed they'd try and crush their first date in a game. 6% would do this. They'd want to win so bad, whereas just 3% are men. Any on who would let the others win? If someone let me win, I'd smell it a mile away. Dudes would be into letting their dates win because it's more likely to end in hanky-panky. We'll take a,

what we'll do is we'll take a small loss to win the big game. You just roll gutter balls just to win. I mean, I roll gutter balls anyway. Timber bowling's

a terrible example. I'm all about speed and zero about accuracy at a game of timber. Yeah, you're all. That's why I refuse to go timber bowling unless that little screen

with the dancing cowboy who shoots the pins when you get them down. If he also tells. Yeah, you're right. That's why I refuse to go ten pin bowling unless that little screen with the dancing cowboy who shoots the pins when you get them down, if he also tells you how fast you're rocketing that ball down there. Yeah, and you like the barriers are up. Always. Always. And the little ramp.

I love the ramp. I love karate kicking the ball down the ramp. Is that, if you went on a first date with Vaughn and he got the ramp out, would that be a sexy turn on? I think it would be quite cute, to be fair. Not sexy. Play ZM's Flet cute, to be fair. Not sexy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A man in the UK

has come under fire after he was caught by his insurance company. Not the insurance company, but the accident insurance company. Our ACC, their AXA, I believe they're called in the UK. So this guy is a young man who is 29 years old.

He's a tradie in the UK. He was in a small car accident where he claimed he'd suffered injuries to his lumbar spine, hips and right shoulder. So like in New Zealand, you'd go on ACC, you'd be off work, and ACC would be paying you. Would be paying you. Yeah, right. Weekly or fortnightly. He said that the pain he had suffered because of the accident stopped him from performing any kind of physical tasks,

and because being a tradie meant he couldn't work, couldn't do any heavy lifting. So they had reserved, their ACC, had reserved 50,000 pounds, so about $100,000 New Zealand, for his injury cover and his work, as well as 40,000 pounds for legal costs. So altogether... So he was getting like that lump sum payout.

Well, that's how much they had reserved. Right. And then they would be paying him out bit by bit. Right. Wow. So they were like, yep, so they'd approved that £90,000, that's nearly $200,000 New Zealand, for this guy, for this car crash and his

injuries. And then they thought, gosh, he is a young man to be so injured. He is a young man with an 80-year-old's injury. Exactly. And they looked at the type of car he was driving and the nature of the accident. They were like, that car, that man, and that accident

surely can't result in this. So they thought, oh, we'll just have a little look up on Facebook and Instagram and just dig a little further what they saw. Pictures of him skiing, snowboarding, rock climbing, walking on a tightrope and perhaps most shockingly, surfing down a flight of stairs on a plank of wood. So he hasn't got a spinal injury. He's fine.

Doesn't have a spinal injury. It looks like he's out to get one though. It does indeed. Surfing down stairs on a plank of wood. They said that these types of tasks simply couldn't be carried out by someone who had an injury, couldn't even be contemplated by anyone who had ongoing physical problems. Luckily, they had done this early enough

that they'd only paid him out about £5,000 of this, £90,000 that they had reserved for him. But can he be in trouble? Yep, so they took him to the courts for being fundamentally dishonest. He had to pay £4,439 in costs for all of their time, for wasting their time. Or because you would think

that you wouldn't be posting on your public social media profiles. If you're trying to defraud the insurance company because you're faking an injury. Yeah, and then they took it to him and they were like, et voila, Exit A. Et voila. And then he was like, yeah.

And then just withdrew his thing. But it was too late. He got charged. Just because of using social media. Wild. So we wanted to ask you, when has social media ever caught you out? It may be something like this where you might have told,

I mean, I'd hate to think it was an insurance company or some kind of insurance fraud. Oh, yeah, because that would obviously be wrong, wouldn't it? But maybe you've told someone you were injured to get out of something. My favourite is when people are like, I'm so sick, I can't make it into work or to this event. And then you see them on someone's social media. Absolutely.

Absolutely fine having a right old time. Yeah, like, I'm unwell, cough, cough, slash, I'm at Toast Martinborough. Yeah, or like pre-pandemic, they're in Bali. Yeah. Well, they went to Aussie for a long weekend and that Friday, Monday, they weren't sick. Absolutely. Like, why have you come back to work nice and tanned? You can't be putting that on social media.

But some people don't think, do they? They think, oh, well, my boss doesn't follow me. Well, this is what we want to know. Or in the heat of the moment, you think, like, that's a great photo. I'm going to share that. I don't know. People get caught cheating, don't they? I know.

Because something's in the background of a social media post or someone's in the background? I remember that guy who was getting some satisfaction on a flight, remember, and someone filmed it and he had a wife. Remember, it was on a flight to Ibiza or something. What? That is wild. And he had a lady in his lap.

All right, well, give us a call. Mind you, if you've got a wife and you're like, I'm just off to Ibiza, you can stay here. There's probably some issues. Yeah, maybe ask. Alright, well, 0800 DARS at M is the number. You can text us as well, 9696. When did social media catch you out?

So, a guy in the UK was faking a an insurance, what an insurance disability payment. Yes, indeed. An accident payment. Yeah, and so they looked him up on social media and saw him doing all sorts of lovely outdoor activities and even sort of snowboarding down the stairs.

Yeah, rock climbing, all the kind of things that if you could do, you'd be able to go to work. Absolutely. And do as a builder. So we want to know from you this morning when social media has caught you out. Someone messaged saying a guy I know tried doing a similar thing and ACC actually

sent him photos of himself in the club without his moon boot on and had to pay back $8,000. Like they had taken the photos or seen the photos on social media? No idea. They don't stipulate but I know there are like people who are employed by ACC to check up on these people. And they go and they get photos of them gardening or carrying heavy things.

I think a job like that would be fascinating. For an insurance company or ACC investigating claims. Like a PI. Because I don't trust anybody. No, neither. They're like, you burnt this house down yourself and I'm going to prove it. It's the start of a movie.

When I was young and dumb I went home sick from my job at the warehouse and then completely forgot that I'd gone home sick and went in with my mates two hours later to buy a V. When you say you were young and dumb how far have we progressed past completely

forgetting that you left somewhere sick and went back two hours later? That's also not on social media. That's actually real life dumb. That's real life. That's exactly. That's real life dumb. We're talking about when you've been caught out on social media.

Perhaps a sick day from work has ended up. Oh, you catching the ball at the cricket. Wasn't that a story a while ago? Somebody did that one-handed two-way catch and he was supposed to be at work. And he was like, I can't come to work, I'm sick. Of work. TV's been busting people pulling sickies for years,

but social media has just added to it. Yeah. Years ago with Bebo, my sister was teaching in the UK. She kept calling in sick. Some students from a different school found her Bebo page, printed copies of her party photos, and handed them out to kids at that school who gave them to the teacher. That's taking it a bit far.

Wow. Yeah. She quit before she was going to get fired, luckily for her. Wow. That's wild. That's so wild. Somebody else said, whoopsie daisy. Night out with the boys and the club we went to put up photos

you know how they used to I say they used to but they probably still do and Whoopsie Daisy I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing oh gosh and everybody tagged

my girlfriend in it I'll just say Whoopsie Daisy oh wow okay yeah Busted Paige when did social media catch you out?

A friend of ours who lives in Australia, we happened to just look at our Snapchat map and saw that he was back in New Zealand, and we Snapchatted him, and he quickly was, oh, my gosh, you're not supposed to know, and he was surprising everyone. Oh.

You've got to know the Snapchat map. And that's why I don't believe in find my friends. No, I don't have any idea about that. You don't need to tell your friends where you are at every waking moment of the day. I know, I know. And so he was really, really gutted that he managed to quickly turn it off before anyone noticed other than us. Oh, wow.

But yeah, like undid the surprise. Although, do you think that was a cover-up page? He never wanted to catch up with you even? Yeah, maybe he was just avoiding you. We had a big party that he was surprising us all at. Oh, that's disappointing. You ruined your own surprise. I know.

Brilliant. Paige, thanks for your call. Anonymous, when did social media catch you out? So basically I was dating someone at work. I was actually moving into a serious relationship with somebody at work. Things weren't going that great, in all honesty. And then I met someone who was my new partner. I met her as she was doing a tour around the region.

And we started hanging out and doing more work. And then I didn't realize that she was posting a lot of videos of us up together. And well, obviously with a massive following comes a lot of intervening from different people. And so I went back to work and thought,

oh, you know, I had no clue about it. Went up to my ex and I was like, how you been? Did you have a good week? And I basically got slapped in front of everyone at work. Oh, I saw.

I must say well-deserved. Yeah, it was. I'm going to be honest. It was a big move. Yeah. It was a big move. I'm not going to, like, gloss it or anything like that. Yeah, yeah.

But at the same time, you know, like, I didn't physically get involved with my new partner, but at that point I was just like, stuff, I didn't physically get involved with my new partner. But at that point, I was just like, stuff, I'm all in now. So I just went for it. You know what the heart wants, what the heart wants. This is true. Anonymous, thanks for your call.

Some other messages. When I was in high school, I once stole some jewelry and a scarf from somebody. You naughty little beggar. Wow. And I didn't wear them to school, But I did have a whole bunch of photos taken In them Those photos were used as evidence against me Oh no

For stealing their stuff Somebody said our cat went missing We were very suspicious About the people down the road stealing the cat Because they had mentioned That they liked the about the people down the road stealing the cat. They had mentioned that they liked the cat. They said they didn't have the cat. However, we found their social media page and their cover

photo was them holding our cat. It was your cat! You think the cat's like, I'm going to go home and see my other family now. And they're like, you're not going anywhere. Shut the doors. The cat would be very confused. The cat will just stay wherever the most food is.

Where the most food is. Let's be honest. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Anticart. Anticart is back again today and all this week it's listener picks. Every cart picked by

different listeners. Who have we got today? This is Dale. Dale from Nelson. Okay, Dale from Nelson has picked every item today. It took me a little bit longer. Oh, I use this every single day. A Nutribullet. Oh yeah, it's a classic. It's a classic.

They last forever. Loud as buggery though. No, they're not. No, but they have to be that loud because they only take like 30 seconds for a smooth, delicious, healthy smoothie. All right, well, jot that down. Next item is coming up at 11. Well, as we've mentioned a fair amount, because it was a bloody good weekend, mate.

Over the weekend was Vaughan's surprise 40th. I had a great weekend. I didn't think I would with that many people. Yeah. Yeah. I like some people. Like leading up to the weekend, you're like, I hope they're not going to do anything.

I don't want to do anything. I don't like crowds. And then it was quite enjoyable, wasn't it? Beautiful from start to end. Well, there was a point in the afternoon during our long, late, lazy lunch. Good food. Tell you lunch. Good food, tell you what. Good food. We were sitting there having a conversation and I can't really remember how this comes up. Probably because, I don't know, it was three o'clock in the

afternoon. I'd already been drinking for about three and a half hours. But my beautiful, who I thought was quite cool, fiance, Aaron, was at the table and he got absolutely hijacked by the NERD Brigade. Now, how did this start? The guys we played Dungeons and Dragons with bought Jared a 3D printer to say thank you for organising Dungeons and Dragons. And then we were talking about Dungeons and Dragons and Aaron said, I played a bit of Dungeons and Dragons in my time. Yeah, and then he was sort of like, I've actually been wanting to get back into it.

And we were just like, yes. The vultures flocked in my time. Yeah, and then he was sort of like, I've actually been wanting to get back into it. And we were just like, yes. The vultures flocked in. Yeah, and then he's like, oh, yeah, I used to travel. I used to travel with my Warhammer models. I used to travel and we used to play tabletop Warhammer. I was just like, what? I knew there was a bit of nerd in there, but I had no idea it extended to Warhammer.

Yeah, I knew there was a little bit of nerd in there, but he was more of like a Catan guy, you know, like a board games guy in there, but I had no idea it extended to Warhammer. Yeah, I knew there was a little bit of nerd in there, but he was more of a Catan guy, you know, like a board games guy. Oh, yeah, board game nerd. And I know that him and his friends, yeah, would get together and play these long role-playing board games. There's one called Blood on the Clocktower where someone's a demon and all this stuff. And during lockdown, they'd play on Zoom and he'd be gone for six hours. And I'd be like,

well, where is my fiance? I'm nude in the bed. I'm nude in the bed. And Aaron comes in and he's like, we're just about to work out who the demon is. What are you doing? Put some clothes on. Yeah, it's freezing, Hayley.

God damn it, you're not going to solve the mystery naked? Put some clothes on and come and help me work out who the demon is. Yeah, and then no sooner had they mentioned this, Aaron lit up like a little kid when he learned that Jared was the master? Dungeon master. Dungeon master.

He started talking to Jared about like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. So you come up with the stories and stuff. And I was like, do you play D&D? And he said, yeah. And then he started talking about how, I was like, what character are you going to be? And he was like, oh, I've got to wait to see what the master comes

up with so then I can work out what role I could facilitate in this. And Jarrod was looking at him, his eyes bright. They were in love. He was like, my man. And they were just slapping and dapping and now I think Aaron's going to be... He's joining our campaign. We've lost. We've lost him. We've got a castle raid to finish, and then Aaron's like,

well, when you come out of that castle raid, Kane has to join the campaign. And I want to say, Aaron studied acting, and he's a real character actor. He went to French clown school and everything. I mean, he's going to be getting big into this role play. This is good. We need a bit more of that. And you had no idea it extended this far. I had no idea.

Jared just said he was very polite about trying to join. He was. He didn't want to force himself in and I said, oh no, please.

And he was like, I don't want to overstep but I want to overstep. Well, he's new to the community. Well, maybe you can hook up with Vaughn's wife, Sade. Sorry? Well, she's got a lot

of downtime as well because she loses Vaughn to these afternoons. Yeah. Did you mean hook up like just like hanging out? Either. Whatever. I mean, there's obviously needs that aren't being...

What do you mean needs that aren't being met? I wait nude in the bed for this man while he's playing board games. But that's what he's talking about. Your needs aren't being met. Well, who am I hooking up with? Sade. Oh, I thought you meant Aaron hook up with Sade. No.

I mean, that's not going to help me or you. This is like a web. I don't need huge Aaron coming into the bedroom. I only imagine it all carries. I actually studied his feet for the first time of the week, and I was like, Jesus Christ, he's walking around in flippers. He's got big, big feet. He's a giant man. I can only assume it carries...

Yeah, I'm right. No, okay. Charlie's dealing with the bloody little Irish spot over here. Don't talk about him like that. I don't need to know that there's other options out there. Anyway, I've lost him to the nerd world. Okay. That's going to be so good. Oh my God. He's going to play these little nerdy characters. How long do these games take? Oh, he's going to play. Oh, my God. He's going to play these little nerdy characters.

How long do these games take? Oh, no, Friday night. I'm a social butterfly. Yeah. I like to go out. You can go on Butterfly by yourself. It's the best way to butterfly. I am going to have an affair with Sade.

All right. Nick's on the show. Roll me D20 for a persuasion. What does that mean, Sade? What does it mean? We got him. Oh, Jared's laughing. We got him.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Yesterday, Indie, my daughter, 10 years old, comes up to me and she's like, you're going to like this. And I see she's got TikTok open and I'm like, I'm probably not going to. No, you're not. I don't And I see she's got TikTok open and I'm like, I'm probably not going to. No, you're not.

I don't need to see a Dixie D'Amelio dance or a lip sync. Have you done a daddy daughter dance on TikTok yet? I think in the start of lockdown we did like a family one. But nah, that was enough. And she shows me this TikTok and she's like, you will. And I was like, okay. Reluctantly. Yeah. I begin watching and immediately I's like, you will. And I was like, okay. Reluctantly. Yeah.

I begin watching and immediately I'm like, she knows me. Because this is some good stuff. And I don't know because I'm not like a TikTok user. Yeah. Pool cleaning TikTok. What do you call it? What do you say? Pool cleaning top.

Is that what you say? Subject and then top. Is it like when people do their driveways with water blasts? Water blasts. God, I love those videos. Love it. I put a time lapse up of me water blasting the deck, and I just couldn't believe how many people were like,

more. It's so soothing to watch. It's like cutting sand. Do you follow those? That's the other one, the sand and the slimes. And sometimes I just get slimes in a container and be like. Yeah. Or they just slice. They slice through the sand. That magic the other one. The sand and the slimes. And sometimes I just get slimes in a container and be like... Or they just slice. They slice through the sand. That magic sand.

Well, this guy that we watched, he cleans pools. Gosh, he's taken on some sloppy pools. Or some old, yucky pools. Or people who have bought houses with pools that haven't been used in years and they're like, there's frogs living in them.

I've seen a few of these. Yeah. I'm liking it. What about this one? He's got a horse in his pool. It's such like manky grossness, but it's such a big pool with like wide steps that the horse will often like walk down into it just to, I don't know, have a swim.

A horse? And he cleans it. Right. Does it show him like water blasting? Yeah, it shows him water blasting, but also like there's just really like satisfying bits. Some of my favourite bits, because we watched a few of them,

is where he cleans out the filter and he'll just pull out the whole filter basket and just like pour it upside down. All the stuff just leaves and slime and that'll fall out and then he'll give that a water blast. You know the bit where they cut? Yes.

Cut the salt? The salt. If it's a salt pool, he runs his craft knife along the whole length of the sack and the salt, like, pulls into the pool and goes. Like, I love it. I do love it. This is where we've come to as human beings. Yeah, and they vacuum the pool.

Just glued to our phone watching people clean pools. She sent me a couple this morning. She's like, oh my God, this one has to be the grossest. And it's got a good story to it because this grandma died. I don't know if the grandma's still alive, but the granddad died and he was the one that looked after the pool. So for like 15 years, this pool's been sitting stagnant and someone heard about it and said, my grandma's got this amazing pool and it's filthy. And so he came around and like cleaned it up for grandma. Did she cry? No, I think she was just like, how am I going to keep this clean? You know how old people are just like, how am I going to do this? Sure, great. How am I going to do this? Yeah.

You get old people at present and they're like, how do I work this? Yeah. All you've done is burden me with having to learn something new at 87. Well, maybe you need to put your water blasting. You need to start an account for your water blasting. But I almost, I've got a water blaster. It's a grunty water blaster too. Why couldn't I go around and clean out real gross pools? It looks like a really manky pool.

I cleaned out a pool. We had a flat once, and the idea was we moved into the flat, and the guy who owned it was like, to be honest, we're just waiting on all the council consents because there's a medical centre being built there and they're busting down these two houses, but you can live here until it busted down. Okay.

And I was like, can I clean the pool out? He's like, you can clean the pool out, but again, be aware, it's going to get busted down. We cleaned the pool out. Gosh, we had the best summer. You could jump off the roof. A flat with a pool? Oh, no, no, you can't jump off the roof.

We jumped off the garage roof into the pool. It was like eight foot deep at the deep end. It was so deep. One guy drove a Rotors BMX off the garage roof into the pool. We had like a Project X crazy pool party. Hamilton behaviour. The trouble is you say this would be fun,

but you watch a 30 second TikTok. Oh, there's a lot of work to it. Yeah, there's too much work. You wouldn't like it. That's the thing, I'm not a filter-second TikTok. Oh, there's a lot of work to it. Yeah, there's too much work. You wouldn't like it. That's the thing. I'm not a filter fixer. Yeah. I'm just a cleaner.

Look at the sludge. Yes. The sludge. Where does he put all the sludge? They vacuum it. Yeah, but does he have to take it away or does he just go and like- Yeah, tip it down the drain. Tip it down the drain.

On the street. Yeah, probably. Yeah, go find a little- Are you allowed to do that? I just do it around Wellington Central at the moment. I'll be like... Ah! Protesters. There's a sludge everywhere. There's a sludgy poo in there now.

Bloody hell. Definitely not me. The Paul Cleaning Guy. Follow me on TikTok. Like and subscribe. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. ZM, are you readyvorn and Hayley ZM are you ready for this? why are you walking and giggling? I just called Jared Hon because he opened the door for me

I said sorry Hon, thanks Hon and he's like I don't like that so that was, I won't have it again I respect my workmates, they don't like to be Honed? I don't mind you love being Honed you don't mind a Hon do you? what are you, you a Hon? Pro Hon? I don't say it, you Then I'll just be a horn. I know you love being a horn. Yeah, you don't mind a horn, do you? I'll have a horn. What are you? Are you a horn?

Pro horn? Yeah, I'm a horn. And I don't say it, you know, like sometimes it's really a passive aggressive, okay, horn, like this. I don't do that. As long as you don't call me tits. Anything else is fine.

Okay, good. I just actually have to write that down because I've got a list of people that I don't know if we call tits around here. Yeah. It is time for Fact of the Day, Day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is only 3% of all birds have penises. 3% of all birds

How do they make all the other birds? Penises. These are the ones with penises. The definitive list. Ducks. Do they? Tick. That's tick. I said tick. Seagulls.

Geese. Yeah. Tick. Yeah, the big boys. Swans. Tick. I said tick. Seagulls? No, tick. Geese? Yeah. Tick. Yeah, the big boys. Swans? Tick. You can't have that long a neck without having something downstairs. Okay. Large flightless birds such as ostriches and emus.

Tick. Atenimus. Which is a family of ground-dwelling birds closely related to retites. What about kiwis today? Kiwis! No penis! Kiwis don't have a penis.

No wonder they're getting extinct. I mean, Bunga, you've solved it. You've solved it. Chickens, they have something that looks like a penis but doesn't actually do anything useful. Yes, that's why they call me chicken dick. I'm just going to... He's sitting in the air.

You watch your language, please. I'm so sorry. You apologise to the listeners here. I apologise to everybody. Apologise to the children. I apologise especially to the children. So... I guess that's what they children. So Kiwis lost theirs, I guess, at the same time that they lost their wings. They stopped flying, but they didn't stop procreating.

But did that happen like one day? Did Kiwis wake up and they're like, where's it gone? They're like, hey, I'm just going to go for my morning wee. Hang on. No, because birds have a cloaca. Yeah. Which is a one-hole deal for eggs, poop, and wee. It all comes out the same.

That's a cloaca. Okay. Very important to know that. But I don't know if the... Yeah, look, I haven't looked too deep into it. 3% of birds. I even feel like I did some Googling just then on the way to the toilet and back just to get a list of birds who have and have not.

And I feel like that enough, that alone has roused IT's alert system at this time of day. You know when you're watching a bit of David Attenborough and you're watching them and they do their big mating dance? The birds do the best dances. They do incredible dances. And then when they pounce upon the woman, what goes in where? What's happening?

Where's the exchange of goods there? You're going to have to re-watch the last series. Slow-mo, because it was the mating game. That was the Sunday night David Attenborough that just finished. That was fascinating. The birds episode. That's my afternoon. So one of these just messaged me saying the Kiwi does still have.

A schlong. In fact, somebody said it's a well-developed phallus. Oh, right. Okay. Well, that's good for our national bird, isn't it? Yeah, proud of him. Proud of him. What about the, I'd be interested to know your kakapos

because they have the hats Don't they The breeding hats They're not Prolific breeders The kakapos They need help So today's fact

Is that they have all the birds And today this is a fun game When you see a bird Penis or no penis There's a 97% chance That there won't be Because today's fact Is that there's only 3%

Of birds Have a penis. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So a guy has taken to Reddit and he's getting a little bit of backlash. He went on and was like, is my girlfriend being crazy? Because she has chore charts and a lot of house rules. And he's actually getting backlash for refusing to follow them. But we want to look at both sides of it. So basically, they've

got a lot of the classic rules. No shoes inside. But also, they get no feet on the couch pillows. So if you were to put your feet up on the couch with your shoes off, not on the pillows. No sitting on the couch after the gym.

Hey, that's fair enough. That's fair enough. Couches are very absorbent. You know what? Yeah. Have a wash. And the most annoying to them, no drinking straight from the carton. This is a man child.

I'm just, as I'm reading this, I realise it's a man child. It's a man child, yeah. But this girlfriend was sort of getting to the point with all of these rules that she thought it would be easier just to sort of construct a chore chart and a list of rules for her boyfriend to

abide by. Here's what we don't do and we do do and here's what we're going to do. You're going to clean up this. And they're not flatting, they just live together. No, no, yeah, they're girlfriend girlfriend, boyfriend pair. Yeah. And so we wanted to know if you're living with your significant other, your

spouse, what's their house rule that absolutely drives you mad, that you hate to abide by? Like maybe it's a, Vaughan, I know you're not allowed to put up your silly dolls. You're not allowed anything anywhere, are you?

I've snuck a few old Land Rover models up, haven't I? Those get taken down. They don't match your aesthetic. Yeah. Your wife's done a lovely job on that.

I can't think. Wear her shoes off, household. Wear her shoes off, household. Don't come to her house and leave your shoes on or walk into the house

and then be like, shoes okay? Because then you're already on the carpet. You're the bad guy. Yeah. Just take your shoes off at the door.

That's not an unreasonable one. We've got lovely flooring. Plush carpet. You're the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah. Just take your shoes off at the door. That's not an unreasonable one. We've got lovely flooring. Plush carpet. Yeah, you don't want people mucking that up. Nice underlay under that carpet too, actually. Yeah. I agree with the post-gym sweaty on the couch. That would be a ruling.

Yeah. That goes without saying though, right? Yeah, well, you would think. You would think. I'll put it down. We'll come in from doing the lawns, grassy, sweaty, dirty, and just sit down for a plop on. Yeah. Yeah, if I'll come in from doing the lawns, grassy, sweaty, dirty and sit down for a plop on. If I plop down after

doing some yard work, I'll plop onto a hard chair. More of a kitchen chair than an absorbent couch. This man child's being very dramatic. He says he feels like a prisoner. We both pay the mortgage. We both pay the rent or whatever it is. I feel like a prisoner in my own apartment.

I refuse to abide by these rules. We're no longer a big cushiony bed. Like we don't have heaps of pillows or cushions on the bed. Did you win that one? Just a couple each. I just keep chucking them on the ground and not putting them back. I'm not allowed any more candles. How many do you have?

I mean, at least two per room. Okay. That's enough. That's a lot. Well, yeah, buy new candles when you need them. Yeah, at least two per room. Okay. That's a lot. Well, yeah, buy new candles when you need them. Yeah, I know. They just sit there. I've got boxed ones in my glass cabinet just... Just waiting to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ready to go. Hidden from him. So we want to know from you now, 0800 dials at him. You can text her as well, 9696. Does your partner have a house rule that you absolutely hate? A guy online is getting a bit of slack after he shared that he doesn't want to abide to any of his partner's house rules

that she set. He says she's got too many. Too many. Although they seem pretty reasonable to me, like sitting on the couch after the gym. As people on Reddit are pointing out, sorry you learnt how to live like a slob. This is about general hygiene, mate.

But we wanted to know the rule that your partner makes that absolutely drives you bonkers and you don't want to abide by it. Yeah. Mitch, Mitch, you're the one making the rules. Yeah, yeah, I'm making the rule. Tell us, what is it? So the mister says about, oh, there were about 200 odd'm making the rule. Tell us, what is it? So the mistress has about, oh,

probably about 200-odd plants in the house. Hang on, Hayley's face when you said that, Mitch, as someone with how many plants in the house, Hayley? Probably not 200, closer to like 80 maybe. Very small house. There's a lot. Yeah, and so you've put a limit on that? I have.

Like, no more. Like, every time we go out, go to Bunnings, go to the warehouse, Kmart, she'll always pick up a plant in a pot. Mitch, has she occupied the ceiling space yet? Oh, they're hanging everywhere. Damn, because I was like, this is how I get away with it. So I'm like, no more on the floor. I was hanging a few. Yeah. And the, no more on the floor. I'll just hang a few.

Yeah. And the cactuses are the worst. Oh, yeah, you bum into them in the night. That's give you the stiff one. Wow. Okay, well, no more houseplants. Thanks, you cool. Make some messages in.

My rule for my husband, he's always outside with a chainsaw cutting something up. I said, shake the damn wood chips off your socks or take your socks off outside, but he'll just walk in and leave a smattering of wood chips throughout the entire house. If you were getting a splinter every time that he did that, though, you'd probably feel the same way. It's shavings, though, isn't it, if it's been off the chainsaw?

We want to know the house rules that your partner has that you absolutely hate. Yeah, I feel like people like the audacity when we live together for you to set rules. Yeah, like no drinking from the milk bottle. Yeah, me to have to follow that. It's my house too, which I guess is fair. There are some really angry people. What?

I feel like there's a real undercurrent of passive anger from people at their partners and all the text messages we've been getting. We've been getting heaps. People are really getting this off their chest, aren't they? Yeah, I feel like we're finally accepting that living with another human, it's not natural. It's not natural. We're solo creatures.

We should. Yeah. All right, let's take some calls. Tony, this is a rule that you have to live by. Hey, guys. How are you this morning? Good, thank you. Very well, thank you have to live by. Hey, guys. How are you this morning? Good, thank you. Good, Toni.

That's good. It's even worse at the moment because our house is on the market. So my husband has to make me, like, well, he doesn't make me, but I have to vacuum in straight lines. Oh, my gosh. To be fair, what sort of monster wouldn't? Yeah, I know. So, you know, like, if you snake,

if you want a snake to get a little bit that you've missed, I then have to go over the snake mark with straight lines to cover it up. Yeah, you shouldn't have got a long pile carpet if you didn't want to have to do this. Like, a short carpet would hide all matter of sins when it comes. That's a shut-ale vacuum in the lounge, and then I'll get the robo-vac

to do it after, because then it does all the straight lines. Yeah, he used to be a commercial cleaner, so he's very pedantic about it. Oh, right. And I do, just before an open home, if I'm vacuuming, I make sure I just do a few snakes in there just to piss them off a little bit.

Oh, my God. You put pockets in there. Just to see if he'll then go over it with the vacuum before we leave the house. Oh, wow. I hope the person that buys your house, right, we would have paid more, but the carpet looked so shaggy. That's what he's worried about.

I think someone's not going to not buy a house because it's got a snake mark in it. And then I point out all the marks that are left in the cupboard doors that he does. It's quite funny at the moment. I hope your marriage survives. Yeah, brilliant. I've had so far.

We've lasted 13 years. Brilliant. Lucky 13, too. Yeah, brilliant. I've had so far. We've lasted 13 years, so. Oh. Brilliant. All right. Lucky 13, too. Tony, thanks for your call. Crystal, what's the house rule that you can't stand? The rule is his matchbox cars cannot go on any of my walls in my house.

So you are the rule maker. Yes. I'm the boss. How many matchbox cars does he have? Way too many. Way too many. And he wants to put them in frames on the wall and on the mantel pieces and shelves and stuff.

He just wants to line the walls with matchbox cars, mate. It's not the aesthetic, is it? What is he? It's not the aesthetic. Is he 10? Honestly, boys and their toys. Boys and their toys. Yeah, that sounds like he needs to just go to the shed

or get a man cave or something. Absolutely. He can put them in the garage. Put them in the garage. That's always a thing. Yes, yeah. Women to men, it's always like, why don't you pop it in the garage?

It'll be nice. Why don't you build a little shelf in the garage? I can shut the door. You shut the door, you don't nice in the garage. Why don't you build a little shelf in the garage? I can shut the door. You shut the door and you don't see it. Exactly. Amazing. Crystal, thanks for your call.

Daniel, tell us, what's the rule? Oh, God, where do I begin? We have just so many rules We're here to listen, babe. We're here to listen. Yeah. So we've got,

we basically live in a show home. We've got two kids, a nine-year-old and a five-month-old, and you wouldn't even think they exist in the home. Oh, really? Oh, wow. All the toys put away immaculately. If we leave one little dish on the bench, you hear it from the other end of the house,

Daniel, Daniel! You're leaving the dishes on the bench! Oh, Daniel, I can feel this is therapeutic for you. It is. How freaked out would she be if someone messaged you saying we were just in the neighbourhood, we're going to pop over in five minutes?

Oh, that'd be the end of it. She'd burn the house down. Nah, she'd be locking the house up, we'd be closing the curtains, pretending we weren't home. Right. What's the one rule that absolutely drives you crazy? Oh,

what's the one rule that drives me crazy? Let's say Dan arrives home from work, works in, walks in, long day, wants to have a cuddle

with the kids, chucks the keys in his wallet and his phone on the bench and walks away from it. So I'm a dairy farmer, but I drink a lot of energy drinks

and I am honestly hounded about my energy drink cans. It's, you've left the mother can on the bench. You've left the mother can in the car. You've left the mother can on the deck. Oh, honestly, that's my pet hate. Wow.

Well, there you are. Sounds like you've got a few. I hope this helps you. You do have a lovely clean home by the sounds of things. It sounds lovely. It's absolutely delightful. It's a beautiful clean home, and if anyone came, they'd be absolutely amazed.

But if I was just, like, coming to a show home, we could put pictures up online, but you wouldn't think anyone lives there. Amazing. Daniel, thanks for your call. Some other messages in. My husband has a rule. When the toilet paper is finished,

he puts the used roll anywhere but the rubbish bin. Oh. Yeah, that's a big one in my household. Socks and underwear must be washed separately. So they went away and I decided to run a test. Socks and undies separately. I washed half of the socks and undies together. Yeah. And then

I did two other loads of socks. One load. Yep. Undies. Third load. And I watched as my wife went, these have been washed with socks. What? She's got a savant knowledge of if they've been washed with other things.

That's ridiculous. That's absurd. I'm not allowed to hang plants because my husband always smashes his head into them. He will not have it. He won't have hanging plants. Plants on the floor, okay. Hanging ones, absolutely not. My mum's house rule is I'm not allowed to move or kill any spiders

because mum doesn't want to disrupt their home because it's their home too. I like to live peacefully with some of the bugs. What are the spiders that eat the mosquitoes? Daddy long legs. Daddy long legs that eat mosquitoes? Yeah. They can stay. Somebody else said that I have to lock my car.

My husband will go out and check the car, and if it's unlocked, he'll come back in and he'll say, go and lock your car, even though he could have locked it when he was out there. Go and lock your car. You need to teach them. We live at the police station in Staff Housing. The cars are parked up the driveway with all the other police cars.

Who's coming up there to rob a car? No, no, no. I wouldn't dare leave any drips of water around the sink after I do the dishes. Oh, God no, wouldn't that be the end of the world? I love that. This is a big therapy session for people.

It's really nice, isn't it? No eating in the lounge. Whilst I'm a grown-ass adult, I'll eat on the couch and do whatever I want. It's my house too. Yeah. They say they don't make a mess. What about movie snacks? He's a no-no.

He's an absolute no-no. Oh, God. My wife expects me to empty the dishwasher after I've been fishing for the whole day. It's unbelievable. I don't know if that's sarcastic. Also, when I get back from golf, the vacuum cleaner's been left in the middle of the hallway. Do I take this as a hint?

No, I just put it away. Oh! I think that one was taking the piss. That's quite good. That's great. So if your partner's been out fishing, you don't want those stinky hands touching the clean dishes, do you? No, not at all.

Get some of that orange soap with the grit in it. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.