ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 22nd February 2023

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. We've got some student, well I think we're in line for some student discounts. Are we? Oh, I love a student discount. I've still got my drama school ID and I just quickly flash it. Wouldn't that have expired a long

time ago? Also, they're made like driver's licenses now. They're not laminated cardboard. Damn it. With a cut out photo on it. Our producer Jared's midi goes back to university today. Yep. You creep. Look at this creepo. Oh god, grow up.

What's she studying? So she wants to be a oral health therapist, which is a hygienist, effectively. Oh, man, I love a hygienist. But she's got to go to health science first, and then make it through that. Oh, is she going to use that sandblasting machine? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, it's so good. The airflow. How many years does it take to become a sort of a, a what? An oral hygiene therapist. Yes. One of those. I believe three, I think.

Wow. Yeah. So single income household for three years. So is she old enough to tick the box as a mature student? I have said she's a mature student. She's 25. Oh, she's mature. She's this mature.

How did that go down when you called her a mature student? She flipped the bird. Yeah. You say, remember to sit at the back and not ask a heap of questions. No, she's at the front asking questions because she's got a little bit more life experience. Yeah. Yeah. I think she encountered something like this out in the real world in my life.

So I'm happy to share. Happy to share my experiences with you all. Yeah, so she's at a porphyry at the moment, and they're being split up into groups for, I don't know, team building or something. Wow. Yeah, it sounds like a nightmare. Yeah.

Why is it a team building? And all those hot young students. Oh, yeah, I've made a few comments about potential health science or personal trainer, physical therapy. Yeah, she could meet some future PTs or doctors. Dude, it's those PE teacher wannabes. The people that go to, not wannabes, that sounded like derogatory. But the ones that go to university to become a PE teacher. They're at teacher's college though.

It's your physical therapists, your touchies. Your touchies. Your touchy ones, your personal trainers. Maybe I should go back to uni and become a touchy. Or get touchies. Your touchies. Your touchy ones, your personal trainers. Maybe I should go back to uni and become a touchy. Or get touchied. I could be like a volunteer to get touchied by the touchies, the training touchies. And they'll say, what's your problem?

I'd be like, no, nothing. I just like to be touched. You do like to be touched. I love to be touched by anyone at any time. They must need people. Yeah. So when I go home, there's a place in the city that does free haircuts, but all of them are students.

No, that's a no from me. Yeah, and there's a sign, and people line up for it all the time. Did you? Yeah, my radio school was up the road, so I popped down one day when I was too poor for a haircut. Do they ever stuff it up? Every time. What's this bit at the back of your head?

Neck. Yeah, it wasn't straight. What's this at the back of the head? Neck. Yeah, it wasn't straight. What's this at the back of the head? That's your neck. But do you know what? Like the hairline bit. Between the head and the shoulders. What is that thing called?

I believe it's a neck. You're right. My neck. Why isn't it mentioned in the two-in-one anti-dandruff shampoo? That's just head and shoulders. Yeah. No mention of the neck. Nah.

Why is it skinnier than the shoulders and the head? It would make more sense for it to be as thick. Or maybe a slow pitch in from the shoulders to the head. Yeah, yeah, but not so significantly skinny. Yes. Yeah. Skinny old thing there. Right.

What was it again? Neck. Neck. Yeah, that's the neck. Did you ask them to make it straight? Because they could have just fixed that. Well, they didn't do the thing where they hold the mirror behind you. Yeah, that was their first mistake. Yeah, that was the first mistake.

But also probably calculated, because I would have seen a wonkiness. But yeah, because I went on my radio school lunch break, so when I got back to course, everyone was like, Oh, shame. That's the best laugh. I'm going to give you that much.

Student life. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Kelda, Kelda, Kelda. On the show today, another chance. Can I just say, it's lovely to work with professionals. It is

lovely, isn't it? This day. How are we professionals? Wednesday the 22nd of February, I just want to say. Working professionals. It's a great environment. Okay, yeah, thank you. What's brought this on? It's a healthy environment. My gratitude journal. Okay, right, okay.

That's what I'm grateful for today. I think we should start every show with just one thing we're grateful for. Okay. Working with professionals. That's yours. That's mine. I'm grateful for... Chocolate.

Fresh cold water. Oh, okay, good. How lucky are we? How lucky are we? I mean, some people in New Zealand at the moment are not getting fresh cold water. Yeah, well, that's true. Let alone the rest of the world. Right, now my one not getting fresh cold water. Yeah, well, that's true. Let alone the rest of the world.

Right, the rest of the world. Now my one just seems silly. I was going to say Whitaker's chocolate. Don't be silly. It's not silly. It's the grateful. Yeah, I'm very grateful. You imagine living in Australia. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, imagine. You know that, whatever that chocolate is. Paris. In a lead up to Easter. Don't buy that. Shit. Don't buy that. It's cheap Australian junk. Yeah. That they pump out. It's rubbish. With second-rate't buy that. Shit. Don't buy that. It's cheap Australian junk.

Yeah. That they pump out. It's rubbish. With second rate dairy in it. Yeah. No. Do yourself a favour. Hit the wit.

Hit the wit. Hit the wit. That should be their next marketing campaign. Hit the wit. Hit the wit. Hit the wit. They owe me thousands of dollars

for hitting the wit. They do. I will accept $5,000. Cash. That's cheap. I know it's cheap, but I've got to get my way into the advertising world, you see. I'm going to undercut all the agencies. You're going to make a name for yourself.

Yeah, yeah, because that would have cost, a little behind the curtain, if Whittaker's had gone to an advertising agency, that's probably a $50,000 slogan right there. It probably is, yeah. And a few cocaine-fuelled lunches for the advertisers. Well, save on all those. Save on all those. Save on all of that.

Yes. Hit the wit. Hit the wit. It needs like a crack. Don't settle for shit. Hit the wit. Yeah. So I don't know if you can say that on there.

They wouldn't like that. Ditch the shit. Hit the wit. Yeah. There you go. That's pretty good. And that for free, Whittakers. Yeah.

You're welcome. You are. On the show today, your chance to win our grocery grab is back at 8 o'clock this morning on the Convey About. 20 everyday food items that you can buy at the warehouse. If you can recall

as many as you can, the more you win. We've got a $20 warehouse gift card for every item that you can recall and a $100 golden item. So yesterday, what did we give away? $280. $280. Have we given away $280 both days? No, $300 the first day, $280

the second day. Right. So get your mega memory ready for 8 o'clock for our grocery grab. We're not here to make love to spiders. I believe it's the same. Weird saying, that one. But they've got lots of arms. Hands everywhere. They'd be ticklish lovers. I believe it's the same. Yeah. Weird saying, that one. But they've got lots of arms. Ooh.

Hands everywhere. Yeah. They'd be ticklish lovers. Oh, they could hit all the erogenous zones. Yeah. If you were to make love to a sort of a human-spider hybrid. Yeah. But the only part of the spidey one is the eight arms.

Coming up on the show, the top six. What a day yesterday for everybody's favourite list politician. Yeah. Maureen Pugh. Yes, the woman who gets in on recounts or special votes. Who famously was called effing useless by Simon Bridges. He must have been. She was struck by lightning three times.

Well, no, yes, she has. She's been struck by lightning three times. Which might explain some of her brainwave patterns. She refuses to believe in man-made climate change. Right. She believes in climate change. The transcript of her being hounded by journalists yesterday really tickled my fancy as I read it last night.

What a U-turn after she was berated by party officials behind closed doors. Yes. You say you believe in climate change. She said, okay, I will. And then went out there and said, yeah, the climate is changing. It has been for thousands of years. And you could just see National Party media consultants, White Knuckles, Maureen.

What a day. What a day. I got the top six other things that Maureen Pugh or Pugher does not believe in. Pugher. Pugher. All right, that's coming up next on the show, though. So I just think some silly behaviour in the workplace,

from between one colleague to another. Not here. Not professional. What would happen here? Very professional outfit. In another workplace, someone's office issues into his own hands. Now, some call him Captain Planet in their workplace. Okay.

And he is sick and tired of seeing his workmates putting non-recyclables in the recycle bin. Well, that's not us because we've got the recycle bins here at work. We've got the three, the organics, the general, and the recycling. They've got the same in this office. Sometimes I might chuck my mandarin peels or my apple core into the main bin. The landfill bin. Yeah, just because I think it gets a bit stinky, the other bin.

I don't think it gets cleared out as much. Yeah, no, it doesn't, it doesn't. And also it's going to break down in the landfill anyway, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, least of the problems. You're feeding the much. Yeah. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. And also it's going to break down in the landfill anyway, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Least of the problems.

You're feeding the earth. Yeah. Essentially. Sort of like diluting the plastics. Yes. Oh, no, because they should be in the recycling bin. Not all of them, though. Yeah.

Not all of them. You've got to check the number. Yeah. Depending on your country. And then it all just goes into a landfill anyway, right? Well, that's the rumor, isn't it? Yeah. So his means of doing this is he gets a little spray bottle,

like you would a rowdy bird. Or a cat. Some people spray their cats. My marching coach, my old marching coach, she had a, what's the white one? Cockatoo? Yes, with the yellow. Very chatty.

Jake was his name. Come in and you bloody scream at ya. And she'd go back. She'd spritz them. She'd spritz the cockatoo. Yeah, you gotta spritz the birds. What, she spritz the cockatoo? She spritz the cockatoo.

She did. Was it a misty jet or was it a water pistol? Sort of commissaire, commissaire. A little bit of, it a like a water pistol? Sort of commissaire commissaire. A little bit of it wasn't a direct like laser. Half. It was sort of a soft squirt. Right because you can turn the nozzle can't you? I love a mist.

I love a fine mist for my plants. No but it won't reach the bird. Yeah no you made it a bit of a squirt. Twisted the other way. Well this is what he's using to stop his workmates. Now he is situated quite close to the bins. Ooh. Now, I wouldn't have a bar at that. Wait, he's spritzing people.

Yeah, he's spritzing the people. Well, they've got to learn. And he's been documenting it. So the first one who comes is a guy with a banana peel. He flips open the recycle bin, spritz, spritz, changes the bin. It's working so far. Okay. Then someone comes along with a office pillow.

It's a silly office pillow. Sprit spritz. Get out of the recycling bin. Wait, they're going to put the office pillow in the recycling bin? A-holes. Then he leaves the office, right? And he thinks, okay, well, I've saved two. I'm saving the planet bit by bit.

And then he goes outside where there's a big recycle bin, you know, like a big kind of normal recycle bin, where he catches one of his workmates trying to pop a vape in there. Now, you can't do it. No, no. You can't do it. It's got all sorts of little bits and stuff that aren't recyclable. Spritz, spritz.

Wait, so he's carrying this bottle around on his, like, belt or something? It's his mission. Oh, my God. Who is this person? I can tell already they're not liked in the workplace, are they? Yeah. He said that it was a tad exhausting and he actually didn't get much work done that

day because he had his eyes on the bin the whole time. Well yeah, that's the distraction, isn't it? So wait, has he put himself out? He's put himself out there as a bit of a vigilante, I guess. Right. Or his workmates are making videos of him. No, no, no. He's been documenting himself. Being the spritzer. Nante, I guess. Right. Or his workmates are making videos of him. No, no, no. He's been documenting it himself.

Being the spritzer. Naming and shaming. Right. So when he realised he hadn't done any work, he got his dog, which is a sausage dog, and he put it on top of the recycling bin. And he said, you've got to get past the dog first. And then his dog Luna looked after him.

Okay. Sounds like he's not getting a lot of work done. Yeah, sounds like he needs to concentrate on his job. But people do need to take that sort of thing a bit more seriously. Yeah, you've got to check the number. Aren't we only one or two? What number plastics recycle NZ? Because you've got to check, you know,

they've always got a number on them. This is quite time because yesterday when I was walking to the swimming pool, I was actually thinking about spritzing someone. Did you? In my mind, like not in real life. Yeah. Because I was walking behind someone smoking, which is so weird these days, right?

How long? And do you notice you can smell a smoker from a mile away now that not everybody's smoking? Yeah. And you smell it and you're like, huh? But like walking through like a crowded bunch of people, this guy was just having a sick. He didn't have a care in the world. I was like, what if I, this is in my mind, obviously not in real life.

I was like, what if I spritzed him with some kind of chemical, like weed sprayer or, you know, walked in front of him and just spritzed him with some kind of chemical. He'd take huge offense to that and say something like, that could kill me. Oh yeah, but he's putting it in his lungs No but he's He's infecting your ear

He's doing the same to us Oh yeah With something that's a no one carcinogen I think it was 2006 A famous Smoking not my future Slogan campaign

From a very handsome young man Wearing a backpack Wearing a backpack And a slightly askew Faceball cap Shae Fu. No, Vaughn Smith. He said, you don't see me waving a gun in your

face. Wow. That's powerful. You know, youth smoking rates plummeted. That's what got all the youth onto the vapes. Well, that was an unintentional side effect. Because people are dying from that too. Yeah, because my other anti-smoking slogan was,

it doesn't look like you've got enough smoke coming out Yeah And so that was when the vapes came around Everybody was like, well now I can If you're going to smoke, make a real cloud Yeah You want to look like a steaming mad dragon Yeah I saw an old lady smoking over somewhere

I was walking past And she was sitting there She was one of those old women That just looks like she loves smoking. And that's about the only smokers I can be like, I'm on board. You've been smoking all your life. And you love it. It's too late for you to change. And there was a little kid sitting beside her

and she's like, you're not supposed to be doing that, Nana. And the old lady was like, let's not tell your mummy. I love it when you can really hear it in the voice. Yeah. And her whole breath was the cigarette. Like really hear it in her voice Yeah And her whole breath was the cigarette Like she put it in her mouth

And then went She's not giving up She's not giving up All smoke Yeah Those old girls God Let them be I guess

Yeah Yeah Too late to change really Wow Next on the show Live and let Love and let Love and let live

Yeah no That's exactly how it's said That's what it is I believe in the words Of Paul McCartney Yeah Live let and live Love and let live

Yeah Live it love If you're ever like Doing a pillow Love it Like you know They stitch the writing Maybe just write it out

Before you just Don't just Don't freestyle Don't freestyle that quote. It's like a birthday card. As hard as I try, I always make a mistake and I have to cross it out. It looks really mucky. Yeah, it's all mucky.

You're going to start again. It looks very mucky. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I thought this was a new invention. It turns out airbag jeans have been around for ages for motorcyclists. Have they actually? Yeah. There's airbag pants. Have they actually? Yeah. These airbag pants.

But they do look like motorcycle pants. Okay. Can I see these airbag pants? Because do you wear the jeans all day? You can't. Well, the new one is the airbag jeans. So this is what you're saying would be great for my cycling? Yes.

Okay. I was just saying you're a cyclist. We're trying to look after you. Aren't these more for actual, like, bikers? Motorcyclists. Yeah. Excuse me. Someone on a bloody push bike.

Yeah, okay. Is this Amsterdam? It actually just looks like. So these are the pants. They wear them and they just look like, well, those are the leather ones. Oh, I don't think I could wear them. Boom. They come out.

They just make you look like you're wearing Jodhpurs. Thick! You're thick. They kind of look like when the airbags are deployed, they look like horse riding pants. Jodhpurs, yeah. Is that what those are? Jodhpurs. I for years called them Jollipurs. I always called them Jogpurs.

Jogpurs. Jod. Called them horse riding pants. Named after a city in India. Do the horse riding pants have pads in them? Or do they just puff out? I think they've got a little extra padding. No, I thought they were just a legging. Well, they're tight.

The jodhpurs are tight. But they do have a little extra padding around the tush. Do they? Around the thigh. Is there a pocket for your cell phone? Or would it be very bulky? No, there's a holder on the horse. You plug it in.

And you plug it into your horse. It's got power. And it charges. Oh, fantastic. It's got Apple CarPlay. Is that what they call horsepower? That's why it's called horsepower, dum-dum. 12 volts or two horsepowers will charge your cell phone. Oh, fantastic. Apple HorsePlay. Brilliant.

So, how do the pants, the airbag pants deploy in an accident? Like they sense a sudden movement or a sudden stop. I just had like a vision of you being like out on a date. So tell me. Or, you know, it's getting a little bit frisky and they grab a handful of you and they're like, no, careful. And then they set off your airbag pants.

Yeah. Oh, sorry. You've deployed me. And then they set off your airbag pan. Yeah. Oh, sorry, you've deployed me. And then you're stuck between the chair and the table. Because it's one of those restaurant chairs that's bolted to the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a booth. You're in a booth. You're in a booth.

You've got to get the steak knife to puncture the airbag. You've got to lance the trouser. That's expensive. Don't lance the trouser. Yeah, because it's like, I guess it just has sensors. Yeah. Like earbands. Well, you know, the new iPhone's been automatically calling police with accidents.

Oh, dude. You can see that. Because there was a guy in, was it Dunedin, that crashed his car drunk, and the iPhone called the police, and they came along and found him, and he got done. And arrested. Yeah. Well, that's good.

But then also people in like America have gone down like ravines and stuff or off the side of the road and been found. Right. How does it know? Well, no, it's like you seem, it seems like you've taken a fall.

I'll do this if you're like whacking something or like hammering something, sledgehammering something. Yeah. It'll say, oh, it looks like you've taken a fall. If your phone's just in your pocket. Your watch or your phone. Yeah. Do you know, oh, it looks like you've taken a fall. If your phone's just in your pocket. Your watch or your phone. Yeah. Do you know, does your watch ever

when you use the Dyson hand dryer at the mall, does it ever go off and say you're in a very loud environment? Yeah. Oh, mine doesn't. It's because, or if you're driving and you put your hand out the window, your watch is like, you can't stay here for too long, you'll be deaf. Hearing impaired.

But it's just because of the wind rustling over the microphone. But yeah, if you whack it, like if you're hammering or something, it goes like, oh, it looks like you've taken a fall. And you're like, I'm okay. And then it's like, did you fall? And I'm like, no, I was using, no. It must have been great when you're in the old folks home. Oh, yeah.

Having one of these. What if I just want a bit of attention? I just slam my hand down. It looks like you've taken a fall. Don't respond. Yeah. We're calling that five, four, because it starts a bit of attention. I just slam my hand down. It looks like you've taken a fall. Don't respond. We're calling that five, four, because it starts a countdown. Calling SOS. Then they go, did, did, did, did, did.

It starts calling someone. And then you get the kettle on, wait for them to turn up. Because if you wanted to leave, the police could arrive. You'd be like, they chained me to the bed. Yes. You know? And then they might get you out of there. They walk in and you're holding your eye And they're like

Have you been Have you taken a fall And you're like No And they're like I ran into a doorknob I don't know what Doorknobs are like

For old people I don't know if you're Getting your deposit back On your old folks home Right on my Ryman If you try I just want to ride In the police car

I just want to I just want to see Something different You know when I'm In the old folks home I just want to ride Down to the station Cup of tea

You're going to be A problematic Old folks home resident Have you ever been In a police car I'm in the old folks home, I just want to ride down to the station, cup of tea. You're going to be a problematic old folks home resident. Have you ever been in a police car? I'm going to be a pest. Oh, my God. Such a pest. All the granddaughters visiting their grandfathers. Oh, no. I was thinking more just the other old ladies.

Oh, the other old ladies. When you hear from people that work in those rest homes, the STIs are through the roof. Oh, my God. The clamp. It's rampant. And good on them. You be careful, please. Good on them.

If you're the twilight of your life, why shouldn't you have unprotected sex with an 80-year-old woman? Hell, yeah. You should feel something. Absolutely. You should feel something. Why shouldn't you? You should be able to take a handful of Cialis.

Hell, yeah. Go three doors down. Put on some three doors down because when we're in a retirement home, we'll be reliving the glory days of three doors down. Oh, the 2000s. What a decade. What a decade. But a lube?

Yeah. Well, I imagine more than a bit. Those days. Jesus. All right. I just dipped the whole thing in the vessel. Well, listen. Dip it.

Pre-dip. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. So I talked about this maybe last year that there were 60 companies doing a trial for the four day work week. Just to see whether productivity went down and, you know, what went up, what went down, how it affected the workplace. And the trial finished and they got together their information, da-da-da-da-da-da. And a whole bunch of the companies are now adopting it full-time. Really? Yeah, so a lot of companies, from software companies,

recruitment companies, all the way to fish and chip shops. So this isn't just that someone works from home one day a week. No, no, no. It's that they only work four days. You don't do work on the extra day off. They did a six-month trial of this. And so did these people have to work, like, enough to cover their Friday work or their day off? Yeah, so same amount of workload, same amount of pay,

just you're not working for one day. Right. And when they did the study, they were like, oh. Like, productivity didn't go down. In fact, in many companies, it went up in terms of because people were just sort of like heads down for four days, knowing that they're plowing into a three-day weekend. 92, after they did this, it was called the four-day week campaign. It was massive.

And then they tweeted, it works. 92% of the companies that were part of the trial have kept it. Burnout was down by 71%. Sick days were down by 65%. And their revenue was up 1.4% on average. Right. So they were like, it was a huge success. They've got the data.

They're doing it. Most of these companies. So which day would you take off? Monday. Monday. Yeah. I thought Friday because I like to gear up

to a big night out. But also everyone at work on Friday is kind of half-assing anyway, right? No. Because now you're having a three and a half day work week if you're half-assing on Friday.

Yeah, exactly. You've got to work through. And in these hours, Friday, you work Friday, you can still be on your way if you're going somewhere by lunchtime. Yeah, we're lucky. So we're lucky

and then you get the Monday off. So there's no point, like, some people might go, I might take Friday off because then I can get out early. Yeah. Yeah. But if you work mornings. Okay. So. I've thought about, look, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to get out of work. You have. And how to make the most out of time.

It's almost constantly ticking. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. For someone that does very few hours. Very few. Yeah. I'm looking at reducing them. It's amazing. Drastically.

Yeah. Okay. Well, they said that now, so this is like a huge, excuse me. Are you motioning a wall? I am. It's just the idea of Mondays off. This is a huge sort of global test they're going to do. This is like a company they've set up to put these frameworks,

I guess, in place in workplaces. Next is Australasia. Oh, okay. So that's us. That's us. Going to watch it. We love a long weekend. Yeah.

They're saying that they're looking forward to coming to Australasia to put this data to the test there as well. And then Europe, South Africa, Brazil, and North America. Okay. Would that include us? No, not really. We don't have an office job, do we? We're different.

Yeah. We'd have to be on the radio for the people that work Mondays and for the people that work Fridays. No, it would have to be a New Zealand-wide decision. Oh, right. So it's like now we only work Tuesdays to Fridays to Friday. Or Monday to Thursday is the work week. No, no, no.

We've all got to be on the same for the exclusive reason that I don't want to do the five days. If we're all on the same, the flights are always expensive on a Monday and a Friday or a Saturday. Well, I think that's, I think it's an even trade-off. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to the farmers talking to their cows and sheep and all the other animals about this. Yeah. Now we don't milk on, we're not milking you on Mondays anymore. Yeah. So just stop.

Hang out until Tuesday. If you don't milk a cow, does it just get all like big and and they get mastitis. Oh, that doesn't sound like women. Too much milk. Yeah, they need to be milked. Once you start milking them.

Yeah, right. You've got to milk them. You've got to keep them up. And then when you dry them off, you've got to dry them off properly. That sucks to be a farmer, doesn't it? You don't get a day off. They chose that life.

It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle, yeah. It's a lifestyle. I mean, the tax riders are certainly good. Oh, yeah. You get a nice double cab ute. Oh, hell yeah.

And the view every day. Oh, what a pleasure. Beautiful. What a pleasure. Beautiful. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Yesterday, a member of parliament, Maureen Pugh, was in the headlines again. She's been in the headlines for a few things. She deleted a social media post when she was in the headlines again she's been in the headlines for a few things she deleted a social media post when she was thanking the protesters outside parliament

yep she claimed to be struck by lightning three times she doesn't believe in pharmaceutical drugs and Simon Bridges called her effing useless

yes remember that and the leaked audio and then somebody on Reddit I'm just quoting from Reddit here yeah And Simon Bridges called her effing useless. Yes. Do you remember that? And the link to audio. Oh, that's right. And then somebody on Reddit, I'm just quoting from Reddit here, said that apparently when he was challenged for leadership, he lost by one vote and it was Maureen. Oh, for God's sake.

So, yeah. But the transcript of our climate change chat between reporters and Pew is also on Reddit. And she talks about how she does believe in climate change. I've seen the impact and the evidence of years. It is changing. Do you believe in human-caused climate change? I've yet to see my response requested from James Shaw.

This is a member of the Green Party. Yeah. Leader of the Green Party who said about man-made climate change. So she's waiting for him? To prove it. But lots of people have. So you don't think humans are affecting climate change. It's not what I think.

It's what I can prove. Yeah. Again, no proof offered, just that James Shaw hasn't yet provided her with the evidence that man is affecting the climate. I mean, there is just so many irrefutable studies and consensus from the scientific community that that's the case. So, you know. I'll side with 90% of scientists.

Yeah. That's why I feel they're better at research. Yeah. So I'll... I think we should listen to the other 5%, though. You think we should really see what those 5% say? Because, you know, the climate's been... The 5% undecided.

Oh, right. Okay, right. Yeah, yeah. Climate's been changing since the, you know, the Big Bang. It's in a constant state of change. Well, she had to come out after meeting with National Party leadership. Christopher Luxon has said there is no room in his cabinet for anybody that denies that humans are affecting the climate. Yeah.

Not particularly keen to do anything about it, but, yeah, you know, he said there's no room for anybody. So I've got the top six other things that Auntie Maureen doesn't believe in. Number six on the list, the colour blue. Prove it. Yeah, prove it exists. Describe it to me. Yeah.

What's it a mix of? Oh, nothing. Interesting. It's in the sky, is it though? I'm yet to see any. I'm yet to have James Shaw prove to me that the colour blue exists. That's blue. Number five on the list of the top six other things Auntie Maureen doesn't believe in.

Cardio. Yeah, she lifts. She lifts. Weights. Weights. Weights. Burn way more. Not even a cardio warm-up.

Well, she doesn't want to lose her gains, bro. She doesn't want the cardio affecting gains. Weights. Weights. Gains. Lift. Pump. Push.

No cardio. Push, pull, pump. Number four on the list of the top six other things Maureen doesn't believe in. Seat belts. Where's the proof? Yeah, show me proof. That they work. They'll cut you in half is what'll happen if you're wearing one of those in an accident.

Ow. Yeah. And if you flip upside down into a river, you won't be able to get out. You've got to be ready to go. You've got to be go, go, go. Number three on the list of the top six things Maureen doesn't believe in. Brunch. Oh, yeah.

Well, there's, what, plenty of cereal at home? Yeah. I mean, she's 65 years old. Not too many boomers do believe in brunch. They're like, you have your breakfast or you have your lunch. There's no need for another meal in the middle. Where you score that smoke on, it was a cup of tea and a bicky. Number two on the list

of the top six other things Maureen doesn't believe in. Gravity. Oh, okay. She doesn't believe in that. Even though it probably keeps her on the ground. Doesn't it? Prove it.

It's a theory. True. It's a theory. I'm yet to see the proof. Yeah, okay. And number one on the list of the top six other things Maureen doesn't believe in.

Parallel parking. She'll just keep driving until she finds a parallel park. Yeah, yeah. A park that's not parallel. There's like two right there. No, no, no. No, I'm not backing into that.

I'm not backing into that. That's bloody ridiculous. That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, some archaeologists. Those are the ones that dig for old stuff. Yes. Because you said dinosaurs. That's paleontologists. That's the ones that dig for old stuff. Yes. Yeah.

You said dinosaurs. That's paleontologists. That's a paleontologist. So I'm sorry, if an archaeologist digs up a dinosaur, do they have to just walk away? Yes, they do. They cover it back up and be like No, this is my dinosaur bone. No, that's a paleontologist. No, I've got my little brush out. I'm like, brush, brush, brush. No. I'm like, chip, chip, chip.

Real careful. Well, they've discovered something quite interesting. It is about 10 centimetres long. It is well preserved. Yeah. It is a Roman dilly. Oh, well, that's, the dillyologists have to do that one. Yeah. Step away. They have to put it back for the dillyologists. The dillyologists's The Dillyologists Have to do that one Yeah Step away

They had to put it back For the Dillyologists The Dillyologists That's not an archaeologist No So they think This is a Satisfiers

Prius Do Yeah yeah yeah Yes Dominos Dominos Par Dominos

Satisfactor Prius Domino. Satisfactor. Prius. Domino. So. Domino. The reason they're like. Born.

There have been phallic dillies. Yep. Found for years and years and years. Yep. Right. Like they're like, this isn't a new discovery that people of the old times were using things like this. The oldest dilly that they think they've ever found dates back, did I just read that?

28,000 years. People heard you say butt plugs then, Fletch. It wasn't. Did they? No, I was whispering it to you. Yeah, but you whispered it straight into a microphone. Butt plugs. Butt plugs? But he did a question and he straight into a microphone. Butt plugs. Butt plugs?

But he did a question and he pointed to his butt. Butt plugs. Butt plugs? How do you know that's not a butt plug? Butt plugs. The reason they think that, because it's got a thicker at the base. Yeah. Narrowing to a tip.

It has a slight. Oh, that's your textbook. Butt plugs. It starts, it's got a kind of a curve forming somewhat of a head. Right, okay. Now, what they have deduced and why it may be closer to a Satisfyer Pro than, say, your classic dilly

is the wear on it. The wear? Worn down to a nub. Yeah. Wow. No, no, it's not. It's very well preserved, but more wear at the end suggesting that it would have been used more just for the bit.

Okay. Yep, yep, yep. Like the Satisfyer Pro. I don't know what she's talking about. Rather than an in-the-box. I think we can all pick up. I don't know. We can work it out.

We can work it out. Yeah. So when they found it, they were like, this could be one of three things. Yep. A pestle, you know, to grind herbs and whatnot. Yeah. So when they found it, they were like, this could be one of three things. A pestle, you know, to grind herbs and whatnot, just with a sort of head on it.

It could have been a penis from a statue that had become detached, but the end didn't suggest that at all. And the third and final and correct explanation was that it was a sex toy of days gone by. Because there were pubes on it.

A couple of pubes. They didn't give it a wash. Oh, you've got to wash. Well, how did you wash it back in the day? You wouldn't have. Rinse it in the sink. Did they have sinks? I thought they just had buckets of water.

2,000 years ago, the Romans had their aqueducts. Oh, they had aqueducts. Just give it a wash in the aqueduct. They had running water. It's still there. You know what? The neighbor's getting you gross water.uct. Oh, they had aqueduct. Just give it a wash in the aqueduct. They had running water. It's still there. You know what? The neighbor's getting you gross water. Yeah.

After it flowed past your house, didn't it flow to theirs? Yeah. Now, I can't access kinkly.com at work. You've been shut off. Kinkly.com slash passion play. Yeah. A long, strange trip through the history of Roman pleasure toys. Pleasure toys.

Prudes. Cleopatra. Ohasure toys. Prudes. Cleopatra. Oh, okay. Allegedly. Yeah. I would not speak ill of the dead. Yeah. Even though they've been dead for thousands of years.

Yeah. She had an adult fun toy made out of a gourd. A potato. A dried pumpkin. Sort of a dried pumpkin. Like, you know, the old way of carrying water. Yes, yeah. And it was filled with angry bees.

Oh, so they buzzed around. Jesus. Oh, what if one got loose, though? That's part of the game. That's part of the fun, you know? That's part of the danger. Wait, they were inside. They were in the gourd.

So that it would buzz. Yes, sir. Whatever. That's a lie. And they would get angrier and angrier and then calm down. Oh, my God. So that it would... Yes, sir. Whatever. That's a lie. And they would get angrier and angrier and then calm down. They'd be like... Yeah. Wow.

Cleopatra's Angry Bees from 54 BC. A tale... I found it on another one. Gizmodo did a bizarre history of... That's all right. That's a fact from the day. It was a hollow gourd filled with angry bees.

Jesus. My God, you'd want a good seal on that, wouldn't you? Yeah. I know. A tight seal. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy it's so rich and good. and Hayley.

Yummy, yummy, a section of the show, a segment where we talk about new food items, new food trends, and a product was released yesterday that got a lot of people talking, a lot of people happy. Oh my God. One of New Zealand's favourite food items. The cookie time. Like, cookie time, number one cookie. Yeah. That's a great cookie.

Ten seconds in the microwave. Yeah. The Japanese are loving our cookie times at the moment, aren't they? The Costco. The Costco are lapping them up. Yeah. They can't keep up. So, cookie time have released an ice cream sandwich.

Like, two cookies with ice cream sandwich. Like, two cookies with ice cream in between. Do you keep it in the freezer, I guess? Yeah, you would. Yeah. So the cookies also cold and be chewy. How thick is the ice cream? Like, thick, thick.

Thick, thick. Yum, yum, yum. Like, how many fingers? Like an inch. Nearly an inch? Two fingers. Two fingers. Yum, yum, yum. Like? How many fingers? Like an inch. Nearly an inch? Two fingers. Two fingers. Like, it's good. I'd push the boat out on three.

They're big enough to... No, that's... You've got giant man fingers. Yeah, you've got big fatties. They are... No, that's too thick. You couldn't get it... They're structurally... Oh, yeah, you're worried about the added thickness on top.

I think it'd be like... Lucky if it's two fingers. Two fingers? But that's good. You don't want too much. No, because otherwise your cookie ratio is off. Exactly. Your cookie ice cream ratio.

Now, the cookie time, is it the same thickness as a normal? It looks a bit thinner. A bit thinner. It's going to be thinner. It looks a little bit thinner. So it's not like the big ones that you get in an individual packet. It looks like it's that size, but a little bit thinner. Oh,'s not like the big ones that you get in an individual packet. It looks like it's that size, but a little bit thinner. Oh, yeah.

To make it a sandwich. So there's two flavours. The original Cookie Time cookie with vanilla ice cream. Yeah. And then there's the double chocolate dunk, which is the plant-based cookies, which I really like. They're good. Yeah, they are. No, they are not.

No, they're good. No, they were surprisingly. No, they gave them to us on the plane. No. They're crunchy. Crunchier. Yeah, they're not. No, they are not. No, they're good. No, they were surprising me. No, they gave them to us on the plane. No. They're crunchy. Crunchier. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. I want the soft.

I want the chewy. I want the OG. But they've got to have a vegan option. Yeah. So they've got the plant-based cookies and a chocolate coconut cream. Now I'm back. Oh, see, that would actually be quite nice. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

Yum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love an ice cream sandwich. There's too much bending over backwards for the vegans. How many people are vegans? They're too small apart. Let's concentrate on the people that will eat anything. I wonder how many people

that are. Maybe we're the minority now, the people that will literally eat anything. No, no, no, no. Gluten, dairy, meat. Oh my God. Give me the more. I bought friend of the show Morgan Penner coffee yesterday. Yeah.

And I was like, what do you want? And she said, oh, just a flat white. She said with cow milk. And I was like, huh? People still doing that?

She's on cow milk. She's on cow milk. Yeah, right. I thought she would have been an alternative milk. Who drinks milk? I hate to say this. To a farmer's son? I hate to say this to a farmer's son. A lot of people do.

No, I don't think people drink milk anymore. Well, I think most of the milk is getting turned into butter and cheese now. Yeah, butter and cheese will still go for it. Everyone rocks an oat or a coconut or an almond. And then goes home and eats an entire wheel of brie. I'm lactose intolerant. Yeah, I don't drink cow's milk in brie. I'm lactose intolerant. Yeah, I don't drink cow's milk and my coffee. I'm lactose intolerant.

Do you want some cheese? Absolutely. Oh, yum. So when are these released? Are they out now or are we waiting? I think they're out now. Oh, I beg your pardon, 1st of March. I can't help but notice that we haven't received this.

Now, apparently, some of our workmates have. Unbelievable. Outraged. Outrageous. Do you know when I think of an ice cream sandwich, did you guys used to have Icy Slices? I've never heard that. What are those?

Never heard those two words said back to back at all. At the same time. Icy Slices, you get those like pre-cut vanilla squares of ice cream and they're being a wrapper and you put them between two perfect pink wafers. Oh, yeah. I never knew those were called Icy Slices, but I hate pink wafers. Maybe they're just called Icy Slices in my family. Or was it a nickname my dad gave it maybe?

Some ice cream, like bougie ice cream places will do it like homemade cookies and make you an ice cream sandwich. That's good stuff. It's good stuff. I'm excited for this. I want to eat it now. It's bad news for me. But essentially, would the thickness of these two

equal the thickness of one? Like is it one cookie time essentially with ice cream? No, I reckon it's like one and a half. One and a half cookie times with ice cream. Yeah. Good stuff. Okay. Because sometimes I do get panged with guilt at the end of a cookie time.

I was like, man, that was a lot of biscuit. You deserve it. That's what I tell myself. Yeah. Even if I've literally done nothing. Well, the census has begun for three quarters of the country. Which three quarters? The ones that aren't cleaning up all the selten.

Three quarters, not population, three quarters geographic location. Yeah, so they had started on the 13th of Feb and then the cyclone hit and they pulled back. And this week they're starting to roll out to a lot of places in New Zealand that aren't affected where, you know, they can knock on people's doors. We don't do it online, eh? So, yes, we do.

So they will give you an access code so that you can fill out your forms. Now, you might remember the last census, there was only a few. They tried to go all online and a lot of people missed out. Yes, that's right. I think they had like 2% or 3% of, like, paper forms, but now it's 44%. Yeah, right. So you will be able to, I'm guessing you can do either.

But most of it you can do online. You have to do it, eh? You have to, yeah. It's like, what are they, I guess it's like voting. Like they might charge, like in Australia they charge people, eh, for not voting. Yeah, they do. I feel like here they never, they don't do that, do they?

No, well, you don't have to vote, do you? Yeah, you do. No, you don't. I thought you do. In New Zealand, no. You have to be on the, you've got to be on the roll. You've got to be on the roll.

But you don't have to, like, turn up and put your vote in. Nah. I never have. No, I'm kidding. I vote every time. That's a good way of getting out a jury, Judy, because that's how they get you,

on the electoral roll. On the roll. On the roll. Yeah, that's how someone found my address, remember? Yeah. Don't use it. It's a bit pervy and creepy, isn't it, the electoral roll? Let's be honest.

So the census, what does it ask you? Like your name, your gender, your sexuality? Well, yeah, so this year there will be new questions about gender, sex, variation of sex characteristics and sexual identity. So some of your sort of more non-binary... Yes. What is your gender?

What was one of the terms you used there? Gender characteristics. Sex characteristics. Sex characteristics. And sexual identity. So those questions will only be asked to people 15 years and older, and the same with the variations of sex characteristics. What is that, like top or bottom?

Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, I'm laughing, but I don't know. Maybe it is. Yeah, maybe. Sex characteristics. Missionary. But does it mean? Would that be if you like maybe didn't.

Gender characteristics. If your parts didn't match your identity. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe. So, I mean, it's all quite interesting and fascinating because the more people that do this, this is why we all have to do this. You gotta.

Because then the government can work out, I don't know, where it spends its money, what it does, who it helps. Totally. It's very important. Who we are as a nation. But then I saw somebody asking on Reddit, and I thought this was interesting, because if you do, if your household does it online,

then there's someone who's like the head of the household. Yes. And then everyone goes online at different times and fills out their forms. Yeah. But somebody was saying, and I'm assuming that this Redditor lived with their parents. They were like, well, they don't know that I'm gay. And then so if they fill out this form, does the head of the household then get to see everybody's answers? Because I remember this is a few censuses ago.

It was on a few cents ago. Somebody flatting and the guy that owned the house was obviously head of the house, filled out the census form and then everyone filled out theirs. And they put in how much they earned. And then surprise, surprise, a week later, his rent went up because he was earning quite a bit. Oh, get out.

And he was like, there is no coincidence that I literally filled out my census wages, my salary, and he would have seen it and put it up. That's not how it works. So he was like, that's a bit cheeky. So I wonder if they've fixed that, that's a bit more private. Yeah, probably.

So do they ask teenagers about their sexuality? Over 15. Only over 15. And I mean, I guess you couldn't answer that. You could just not answer that. But then that's kind of defeating the purpose. Or you could lie, but that defeats the purpose. Yeah.

Do they offer dabble? Dabble is an option. Is dabble an option? Well, maybe there's a bisexual option. Well, let's not name it. It's a sliding scale. It's a sliding scale. It's fluid.

It's fluid. So you think there should be a... Where do you find yourself on the scale right now? Yeah, but then how gay are you today? Like, what day of the week am I filling this in on? Yeah, exactly. You know? Have I just caught, you know?

Because I do Woman Wednesdays, you know? True. And sometimes if I catch a super rugby game, I'm like, Manly Mondays. I would mime in amongst all those. Yeah, absolutely. You know, test my strength and see what's wrong. I'm quite looking forward to filling it out.

I know, I'm quite excited. I always get a little bit excited about filling out the census too. Yeah. So have a look. There'll be either knocking on your door or they might slide in like a piece of paper that gives you your access code to get online. And then, yeah, get amongst it. Just have fun with it.

Because I love when the stats come out and they're like, you know, X amount of people this, X amount of people that. It takes too long. I get angry. It takes so long. Well, they have to count like four. I know. I want it quicker.

Do babies do it? Or no, you would say I have a baby. You do that. I want it quicker. Do babies do it? Or no, you would say I have a baby. You do it on behalf of the baby. As soon as they're born, yeah, they've got to fill in. Also, I believe you're filling it out for the one day that census happens. Is that what Carl Wayne was saying? That exact day. There's a certain date.

So they want to know a snapshot of where you are at that point on that day. Yeah, March 7th. So should I write down that I'll be at Harry Styles? Yes. Oh, that's going to mess with your scale too. I'm going to have a look at my... Because you're going to be horned up for Harry. Oh, that's Tuesday.

Not Woman of Wednesday. Harry doesn't do it for you, does he? That's choose your own path Tuesday. It's taco Tuesday. Oh yeah, a lot of tacos in the census. What are you eating for dinner tonight? Yeah. Tacos.

Yeah. Hailey, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole is about Harry Styles, who, by the way, we didn't mention will be in New Zealand the night that the census snapshot happens. March 7. And Carwin

said, oh, he won't have to fill out a census. He's Harry Styles. He does. He does. He's in New Zealand the day of census. Whoever you are, if you're in New Zealand, it's a snapshot of New Zealand on that day. So even if you were visiting and staying at like a hotel, the hotel would give you the form to fill out. Yeah.

Even if you're a non-resident, it's a snapshot of everyone that's in New Zealand at that very time. Cool. Harry Styles is going to be on our census. So many people aren't going to be in their residences because of the cyclone and the floods prior. Yeah, so they're delaying those areas and they'll get to them and they're working out ways to make that happen as well.

Well, also a snapshot of the day. Well, yes. Well, Harry did a shooey in Perth. Now, some people, when we put this question up, did ask what a shooey was. Urban Dictionary describes the shooey as an act of pouring an entire alcoholic beverage into a shoe and sculling it. This is one of the most disgusting traditions I've ever heard. And then he...

And then he proceeded to do it. Did he drink from his own shooey? I think it was his own shooey. It was his own shooey, yeah. Oh, that would have been like Burberry or something. What year does it have the birth of the shooey? Because it would have been 2000...

2017. Oh, in 2002 we were drinking out of a child's boot. At a friend's 21st. You're saying you invented the shooey. Well, we...

Booty. We were just drinking out of a kid's gum boot because we thought it was funny. The gum booty. Yeah. It was almost new

and I can imagine that kid went to put on their boot the next day and it was like... And they were like, ow, my boot's wet. It's got beer in it.

It smells funny. There are two things I will never do. A shooey and King Cup. Yuck. Both of them, yuck. You need to toughen up drinking the King's Cup. Nah. King Cup sucks.

I'll say it is a dumb drinking game. If the King Cup has the same drink in it, i.e. a drink I like, I will drink it. Yeah, but it's a mixture of everyone's drinks. That's yuck. So if you're all on Prosecco, who in the King Cup? Yeah, but you've got

a bourbon drinker and someone's on those bloody white Russians and someone else is having a car lure. Yeah, we used to play this when we were teenagers and obviously after 18.

And one of our friends, she used to drink the mud shake thing. So put it out. Yuck. It's a curdles. What is it? King Cup, there's cards and each card means something. Circle of death is the other way of calling it. And each king, it goes in the cup.

Last king drinks the cup. How do you feel about the shooey is our silly little poll today. 12% of people said must be done. 88% of people said gross be done. 88% of people said gross as F. Must be done. Yeah, it's got to be done. Yuck.

Billy says those who say it's gross are clearly over the age of 30. Or maybe they just don't like drinking out of somebody else's manky shoe. Mr. Berserber

says it is an absolute Have a better go. Hang on, I'm going to look this name up. Mr. B-B-B-'t think is the CEO of BP, said it's an absolute rite of passage. So that's pro. Feral, says Danny. Feral. Josh says, people say it's gross, a piss week. Now, you'll notice the only people in favour of the shoeie so far have been men, and they all sound like they'd have yuck feet.

Yeah, gross. Toe jams. Mankey. A funnel or a yardie is so much cleaner. the Shoei so far have been men and they all sound like they'd have yuck feet and shoes. Gross. Toe jams. Mankey. A funnel or a yardie is so much cleaner. Yeah, I'll agree. Also, is the yardie the Kiwi version

of the Shoei? Does anybody else do a yard glass at a 21st? Yeah. Very Kiwi. I didn't do one. Oh, do you mean overseas?

Yeah. No, actually. Very Kiwi. It is very Kiwi. I mean, I've done them when a youngin, but it's totally gross. Why is this even a thing, says Angela. Julie says, I chose gross AF, but would 100% do one if it was presented to me. She bows easily to peer pressure.

And you can do things you know are gross. Louise says, toe jam, need one say more. Yeah. Dana says, I'm shook how many people are against the shoeie. I bet they all vape though. Oh yeah, fair call. Oh yeah, good call. Fair call. What else are you putting in your mouth? Yes. And is it grosser than the remnants of somebody else's

socked shoe? Ooh, sock. Imagine doing a shoeie out of a boat shoe where it's just been straight foot on shoe. Those things are gross. It's gross AF unless Harry Styles is doing it and that's the only a shoeie out of a boat shoe where it's just been straight foot on shoe. Those things are gross. It's gross AF unless Harry Styles is doing it and that's the only acceptable shoeie, says Daryl. Didn't pick Daryl for a big Harry Styles fanboy. Daryl.

But here we are. Daryl loves a Harry. Dan's will be at the concert 100%. Dan's will be there. Also, Harry Styles can just go out and buy a new shoe. No, you don't, he only needs one. You have to go into Louis Vuitton and say, oh God, I need a new left shoe. I did a shoeie.

And I'd be like, oh, sure. Yeah, and I doubt his shoes have even been worn much for more than a week anyway. A week? That's how long it takes to wear a shoe in. Wearing it every day. Yeah, that's true. He doesn't know the comfort of a well-worn shoe if he's getting rid of them that quickly. Too rich for his own good.

Well, no to the shoeie. No to the shoeie. You're a no to the shoeie. How would you describe that nectarine you just took a bite out of? A delectable tease. He took a tiny nibble from a nectarine because he didn't have time to eat the whole thing and he described it as a delectable tease. Well, it was just enough that I'm like, I can't wait

to eat that nectarine soon. Unprompted. Mmm, what a delectable tease. Beautiful use of words. I'm sorry if I love stone fruit. You do love a stone fruit. I love stone fruit. This we know. There has been a mum Has there?

Yeah, like one or two. Okay. I think that's how the world keeps going. I don't know. There's been a mum who has shared on social media. Now, she's a mum of three. She's only 23 years old. And each time that she has given birth to her three children, she has had a hair and makeup artist

to be there in the throes of labour doing up her face. I'm going to guess she's British. She's British. Yeah. I'll tell you what, she looks it too. Does she look like Geordie Shore-ish? Yeah, a bit orange. The makeup is not subtle for a birth. So does she

have a photo shoot every birth as well? Yeah, she's got a photographer there. Yeah. Which is pretty normal these days to have a birth photographer. Is it? And she's like, I always look at these like birth photos and I feel like they all look like sweaty and I want to look like nice. So she gets a little hair and makeup artist.

And she's really annoyed because her second baby came really quick and the artist didn't arrive so they looked like shit. So those baby photos never see the light of day. They never do. I mean, I'm talking she has got a purple pinky smoky eye, a full set of lashes, a full brow, contouring,

highlighter. It's all too much, isn't it? It's a heavy face. What's a heavy face. It's a heavy face? Well, heavy on the makeup. Yeah, I've never heard it described that way. Oh, yeah, heavy. I mean, I guess it's her life shift. She wants to look great and have a photographer and photos.

Good on her. Yeah. So, I mean, I feel like, I don't know. I've never given birth. I kind of don't plan to. But I'm like, I don't know. I've never given birth. I kind of don't plan to. But I'm like, how would I want it to go? I wouldn't give a toss. I don't think you'd give a toss what you looked like.

No. Did your wife have any weird, odd requests at birth? No photos of the? Vagina. Yeah. I would have said tunnel. The tunnel The baby tunnel

The baby tunnel The baby tunnel Yeah Which is a fair enough request Although some people put photos on The whole thing The whole thing on Facebook Yeah but that's the amazing bit

Oh that's phenomenal When it comes When you see that You're like You gotta see this You gotta see it Yeah It's one of the most unreal things

She didn't get to see it. Who? Well, she's not a giraffe. She doesn't have a neck long enough to see. Could they not rig up a mirror? Like one of those. Oh, no, I don't think you want to see your own. You know like those people that live on corners on windy roads

and have a little mirror to see the oncoming traffic? Concealed exit mirrors. And dairies have them. It is a concealed exit. It is. And dairies have them too to get the shoplifters in the cornercoming traffic. Concealed exit. And dairies have them. It is a concealed exit. It is. And dairies have them too to get the shoplifters in the corner. Yeah. Get one of those.

They want to see what you're up to down at the ice cream fridge. Get one of those. Yeah, you could. That's great. Those are always fish eyed too though. The baby would look huge. Yeah. Oh my God.

Wider than it is long. Yeah. That would freak me out if I was squeezing out a baby to see myself in one of those mirrors. Yeah. No thanks. No, I don't think you need to see myself in one of those mirrors. No thanks. No, I don't think you need a mirror. Nah. She had no demands.

Okay. Very low maintenance and didn't make any noise either. Oh, those births are scary. Yeah. And you're just like, what? Because, yeah, we were obviously in the maternity part, so you heard screaming and hollering. And if you've ever watched that One Born Every Minute they're always up in arms

oh my god I love that show up in arms up in arms see the man that's never birthed a child never birthed a child

so we had a couple of messages I have taken a Sunday night poo after a big weekend of cheese though oh yeah that's not the same I birthed

it's a taste oh good lord I birthed something when I was in. Oh good lord, I birthed something when I was in Japan and I was very unwell for two weeks and hadn't gone. For two weeks?

Two weeks. And lucky in Japan, the toilet cubicles are so small, I was able to put my feet on the wall. Much like the birthing stirrups. Like the stirrups,

I put my feet up on the wall and my hands on either side and I birthed this thing. for two weeks? Two weeks. I was in Turkey. Yeah. Two weeks I didn't have a movement.

Was it ammonium? Was it? Because people say ammonium blocks you up right when you've got the rough guts. I got really sick and, yeah, when I was in Turkey, I went to the hospital and I had sort of an inflamed liver, but we won't get into why that had happened. Drinking? Yeah.

And then I just got really sick and they put me on all these medications and then for two weeks I didn't poop. Right. And then I got to Japan and I was like, I am done with this. Yeah.

So I excused myself from the group and I gave birth. And I cried and then I had a beer. Right. So you know what it's like. I know kind of what it's like. And we did have some messages in asking, we asked, you know, did you have. I know kind of what it's like. We did have some messages in asking,

we asked, you know, did you have a strange request during your birth? Jess says a McChicken burger. I don't even remember asking, but boy was I reminded. Someone said, I don't think it's weird, but others might. I washed my hair in labor,

so I look good in photos. Do you know when my mum's water broke, she got in the shower and shaved her legs? Fair enough. She was like, oh, better shave these puppies. And someone else said I ordered a spicy burger and she evacuated real quick. Oh, wow, okay.

The burger or the baby? Probably a bit of both. Maybe both. That's normal. That's really normal. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I, a dating coach, has pinpointed the two types of men that you should avoid at all costs. Okay.

Tall ones and short ones. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Just go for average in between. Oh, they know that. Everybody's full summer on that scale. We stand the short kings, remember. Well, I'm saying avoid them all. Yeah.

Both of these types of men have good looks. So that's a tick. That's a tick for me. Okay, yeah. Now, the type of one of them is a very successful good looking man, has never been married,

or if they have, it was like many, many, many, many years ago. Okay. That's the ones to watch out for because they're obviously non-committal. That's the theme of it. Yeah, but they're successful. And you said good looking. Hot, rich.

Are they successful? Are they putting work before relationships? Yeah. But basically, she calls them the perpetual bachelor. So if you're jumping into a relationship with someone who's maybe gone through many, many relationships and who's never actually settled down with someone,

chances are you're probably not going to be the one. So what are the two types again? So we've got the perpetual bachelor. And then, so they say they're single by choice. And then, what is the other one? They feel like they're both the same person.

Oh. So there's the player and then there's the perpetual bachelor. Which could be the same thing. So that's what she's saying. She's saying, oh, when people say the players are the ones to look out for, she's like, also the perpetual bachelor. Right. But the perpetual bachelor could also be a player.

Yeah, but the player's the one who's like, I'm a player. Right. Player's gone play. Yeah. Whereas the perpetual bachelor the one who's like, I'm a player. Right. Player's gone play. Yeah. Whereas the perpetual bachelor is like, no, I'm happy to get into relationships. There's been a lot of pee sounds in this chat. A lot of pee sounds in this chat. And you know I'm bad with my pees on air. I do pop.

Pop. The microphone. You've got to go across the mic. You've got to cross the mic. Perpetual bachelor. Perpetual. Perpetual bachelor and a player. Why is my soul called perpetual?

Perpetual bachelor. Because you've got a tight, you've got a hard, you've got a stiff lip. Perpetual bachelor Why is my soul Perpetual Perpetual bachelor Because you've got a tight You've got a hard You've got a stiff lip Perpetual bachelor No no no You've gone You've gone saggy and breathy

I don't know how to do it Perpetual bachelor Speak at the back What a The player is the hit it and quit it Yeah Whereas the perpetual bachelor Is hit it

Sit with it And then quit it Yeah And I think people would know To avoid the player, but it's probably the... And the player's hot. I know, it's hard to say no.

I'm just saying maybe I want to play the player. Maybe I'm here for a short time and not a long time. A good time, not a long, short time. I haven't dated in so long. What about Peter Piper, the perpetual bachelor? You mean... Because he's got his pick of the patch, doesn't he? Yes, he certainly does. Because he's picking all the puppets.

He is? God, you're good at the P's on the mic. He's good, isn't he? He's been doing this a while. He speaks straight into it. If you're out there looking for people, you've got to watch out for not only the... Perpetual bachelor.

But also the players. Players. Soft P. we mentioned before The census March 7 The same day as his concert He will need to fill out A census form

Otherwise Face the wrath Of the New Zealand government That means like When they ask how much he earns He's going to have to put down how much he earns. Also, I don't know, he would never know, would he? The ongoing debate of...

Yeah, I mean, if you went for census and got that form, you'd have some gold, wouldn't you? Anyway, interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Oh, yeah, okay, I see. Prove it. No, anyway.

Yesterday, me and Aaron, we went to celebrate because it was the last day swimming in the lonely seas of renovating your own house because the builders start today. Okay. So Aaron's like ripped off the back of the house. God, you will find any excuse to go to the pub. Like literally any excuse. Our favourite pub does a corn that I cannot get enough of. Any excuse to go to the pub. Like literally any excuse. They do. Our favorite pub does a corn that I cannot get enough of.

Like a barbecue. Is it a big lump of knots? It's got the juice. It's got the juice? It's got the juice. Yeah. Yeah, they do it like a barbecue corn. It's a beautiful thing. It's all like smoky.

Oh, yum. It's good. They have pepper in a crumb and all this kind of stuff. It's very good. So whenever I'm feeling a little bit like, I want a bit of a corn. Yeah. So Aaron said,

what should we do for dinner? And I gave him a little smile and he said, yeah, all right, let's have a shower. Then we had our shower in our little cubicle thing. Then we went to the pub.

That was good. Then we left home and as we always do as we pass Hitton's Dairy, we thought, should we get a little sweaty? We've already been to the pub. We've mentioned his ice creams.

We've mentioned his ice creams before However I went for a humble ice block Couldn't quite hack it But as we pulled up We pulled up next to a guy Who was also coming out of the car And we noticed he had this Really big kind of hip brace

That covered one of his hips And then down his leg With like a joint thing You know a joint thing Like a joint thing there Like a robocop. Like screwed in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that made me feel sick. Yeah, and then he was, but he was walking fine, like to the dairy. He was a robot. And Aaron was like, wow, that's pretty intense. Now, we had a couple of wines,

so we were maybe a little. They're very chatty. A little loose lips. They're very chatty. I don't talk to strangers. I talk to strangers at any given opportunity. I know. I get back in the car and Shade and I will have an in-depth discussion

completely hypothesising what could have happened to that person. Yeah, same. Maybe grab a sneaky photo and send it to the lad's chat, being like, Jesus, check this out. But never say to them, what happened there, boss? Nah, you just ask them. Chatty too chatty. We went into the jerry

And he was in there as well And we were fishing Around the ice creams And then we came out And then Aaron just goes Holy hell mate Like Can I

Do you mind if I ask What's What's that all about? And he's like Yeah yeah yeah And he'd had a hip replacement The poor guy And I said

Shoot you're young He would have been In his late 40s Or something like that I said man you're young For a hip replacement He'd just had an accident. Like slipped, shattered it, got the surgery.

They put pins all in it. That went wrong. The pins flipped around. So then he had to get this whole new setup, like rods and all this kind of stuff. And then in this brace, he'd been in bed for like six months. Oh, my God. Like couldn't move to get this all together. We were like, wow, what an incredible story.

He's like, yeah, man, it's been really full on. Do you want to see the x-rays? And we were like, hell yeah, we're in with this. God, I love an x-ray. Love an x-ray. Anyway, so he gets out

these x-rays and he's showing us the break from when it first happened and it was bad. Like it was a bad break. We're like, oh man, that's intense.

Yeah, because isn't it disappointing when you look at an x-ray and they're like, it's broken, but it's just like a tiny line. I want to see like, rah! I want the bone to be like jagged and centimetres apart. Yeah, one inch gap between the jagged bone.

Yeah, well this guy's got a whole new ball and socket. Oh wow. Like, that's how bad it was. Then he showed us the next X-ray, which was the botched fix-up. We were like, oh man, yeah, you can see that it's switched around. And then he was like I'll show you what I've got in now

bless him anyway he gets the x-ray open and I don't know if you know this of x-rays but it doesn't just show your bones

there's a sort of a layer a hazy layer that is your other bits and you can see poo if you're full of poo you can see the poo you can see the poops

all sorts and then he sort of showed us and it's obviously the hips and the groin area, and he sort of accidentally, maybe, swiped across, and me and Aaron got a bloody good eyeful of his junk. Ghost penis. Ghost penis.

You saw ghost penis. Just a shadow. Yeah, like a ghost. Just a shadow. And he came back, you know, didn't say, oh. He just went, oh, yeah, yeah, and then showed us the thing. We were like, holy hell, yeah, man, that's intense. Like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then showed us the thing. We were like, holy hell. Yeah, man, that's intense.

Like, good on you. Good luck to you. Good for the rest of your journey. We got our ice creams, cheers hitting. And then we got back in the car and Aaron goes, did you see that guy's penis? We're like, oh, my God. Ghost penis. He is rocking a whopper.

Oh, he's got a big ghost penis. It's really a ghost penis. He's got a big ghost penis. How tall is this guy? Five foot seven. Small man, giant penis. I am telling you. Don't point at yourself, producer Jared, who's also five foot seven. He was a short king. I didn't see it coming.

A short king with a giant scepter. We just sat there in the car and there just was silence, this knowing, and I just went, yeah, man. I saw it. Wait, so you're telling me every time you go for an X-ray, the person that's like, okay, stay still, they see your penis. Yeah, they can see your fleshy bits and stuff. Yeah, it's ghost.

Yeah. A mutual friend of ours was showing me an X-ray of something in the... Pelvis region. Pelvis region. And I was like, oh. I can see. They were like, oh. Ghost fanny.

Yeah. Ghost jennies. You get a bit of a feel for the shape of it. Wow. Yeah. It was an outline. Yeah. Didn't this happen with, was it Andy Murray or some tennis player?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did he have? Compressed disc? Yeah. He had something that he showed it and then you could see his. Yeah, didn't think about it, just put it on Instagram. His racket. And everyone's like, dude, we could see your ghost penis.

We could see your wang. His ghost penis. Well, if this guy, if it's anything on this guy, I'd be sharing it too. Holy hell. Do you think he knew? No, no, no, no, no. We were genuinely invested in the journey of the hip. Yeah, right.

We got a little bit more than hip. A radiologist has messaged in. They call that shadow schlong. Shadow schlong. I like ghost penis better. I like ghost penis better. Ghost penis has, yeah. Shadow schlong. Just imagine penis better I like ghost penis Ghost penis has Yeah Shadow schlong

Just imagine at the end Of the episode Scooby Doo and the gang Pulled the mask off The ghost penis And it was the Penis all along It was the penis all along

We've heard it for a night Can I just say I love that radiographers Listen to the show Radiologists or radiographers Well this is an unofficial Show radiographer here Who has now

Well done You've been crowned Our official show radiographer Oh welcome, this is an unofficial show radiographer here who is now, well done. You've been crowned our official show radiographer. Oh, welcome. The legend is that the penis always points to the sore hip. Shadow penis, perk of the job, question mark.

I was just going to say, would you, if a hot guy came in, like Jason Momoa came in. What I had to do was hip. Oh, good. I just keep saying, like, we haven't quite got the image.

I'm just going to readjust you. I'm just going to readjust you one more time. I'm so sorry, Mr. Momoa. Just not quite getting the image clear. Right. And you're pushing that thing over. I think it's the trousers. The trousers are blurring the image.

So we're going to sort of whip those off. We've heard from another show radiographer. Okay. We're flush with radiographers here. Are we the radiographers station? I think we are the radiographers. We are the radio station with radiographers. Are we the radiographers station? I think we are the radio station for radiographers. Yes. We should get a thing made up.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, the show for radiographers. Radio show for radiographers. Yes, it's a great idea. Another official show for radiographers. You're getting flustered. I'm just thinking of how to word this. If there's more blood in the area

it's brighter oh if so ghost penis becomes a little bit more visible if you're aroused if there's blood in the area

rocking a semi my uncle showed me and my friends an x-ray not long ago and I gasped because I could see his penis and it looked so long

I thought he was joking around that he was showing us one that he'd found on the internet and my friend was like oh my god

we can see your penis and everybody was very embarrassed and then later on my friend said to me how come the penis didn't have a bone in it and she

no they don't have a bone does she realise that there's no actual bone in the penis and I've never laughed so hard in my life you know the term boner is well and truly off, isn't it?

Well and truly off. Well, there you go. Congratulations to my local friend. You're five foot seven. So if you're in West Auckland and you see a five foot seven dude and a hip. Hip brace. Just know he's back. Just pat him on the back and say.

Well done. Well done, my brother. No, don't. Well done. Play. ZM's Fletchchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day,

day, day, day. A bit quicker, go. That's how fast it used to be. Really? Yeah, back in the day,

it did. We've slowed down a lot. Have I brought down the energy? No, it's gone like early days, like Really? Yeah, back in the day it did. We've slowed down a lot. Have I brought down the energy? No, it's gone like early days, like 2010. Yeah. Fact of the day. It had pace. We were younger men.

We've matured into our roles. Yeah. Got comfortable with ourselves. I think we could mix it up. We could do a ballad version. Do the pace. We could do a controversy. Hands off.

Wow. You've been told. Hands off. You've absolutely been told. I'm in my place. Now, I've started doing the occasional fact of the day background check. Okay. I used to just read them blindly and people would correct me

and say, that's not a fact. And I'd say, shut the F up. I've got the microphone. And then I thought, no, that's not how it should work. So occasionally I will check one. Like I had to check. Somebody sent me this and said, oh, amazing fact of the day. All cats kept on ships to hunt the mice on the ships had to have passports. And there was, somebody sent me this and said, oh, amazing fact of the day, all cats kept on ships to hunt

the mice on the ships had to have passports and there was two examples. No, they don't. And then, this was a massive story that got shared around and I found out that was not true. One cat was given a passport as an honour. Right. It was like an honoured cat. What was the cat's name?

Mr, um, hold on, cats with I have to Google cats with passports. Oh, I want a passport for Raleigh. I might make him one. A cat port. Yeah, a cat port. Herman the cat. Oh, Herman.

Expert Mouser was his occupation. Right. But see, this was a special, during World War II, this was like a special thing they did for the cat. Cat became a bit of a mascot. Would have been great for morale. Yes, that was the idea, but not all cats

needed them. No. Well, then when this one got sent to me, I thought, I need to check this. Yeah. Because it's about the old little stirring spoons you used to get for your coffee at show sponsor, McDonald's. Okay. At a cafe. Kilda.

Thank you there for supporting the show. So the rumour. Why are you doing golf claps? Somebody said. Oh, it's a polite clap. It's a polite clap. For people helping keeping the show financially afloat. Yes.

Somebody said, did you know McDonald's got rid of their little coffee spoons because of cocaine? What? And I said, big part. Were they the ones that had a plaster, like a square top? They had McDonald's on the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a rectangle.

They were flat on the top and the bottom. That's a stirrer. But there used to be these little tiny spoons. Little tiny spoon. Little bitty. It was only for stirring. It was only for stirring. It was never for sugar. It was too small.

But apparently it became prolific with the use of people getting it. It was the perfect measurement to put cocaine in it. So this is overseas in America. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, so they got rid of them. They got rid of them. They're like, we don't want to be associated with this.

Yeah, rightly so. Drug, this drug. What do they call a drug epidemic? It's not a pandemic, eh? It's an epidemic. It's an epidemic. What's a pandemic? I know we've just had one.

More widespread. Yeah, right. Worldwide. Epidemics, more of a problem for a community or country. Right. That's where an epidemic versus a pandemic. So yeah, they got rid of them. So that checks out true.

Wow. It checks out true. Yeah, I ran it through the old Snopes.com, which is a great place to go. If someone ever tells you a yarn that seems too good to be true, pop some keywords in there and it'll probably tell you it was an urban legend and it been proven wrong. Multiple times. So today's fact of the day is McDonald's got rid of their little coffee spoons

for stirring their coffees because people were using them for illicit drug use. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Cook again I've just been messaged saying I better not be talking about what She thinks I'm going to be talking about But I am talking about it Shaddaa go away Goodbye

Okay she's gone She's gone okay So here's what she was saying We're not talking about Just Shaddaa here That I want to have a little bit of a go I think she heard Well she heard the bit that we were going to be talking about it. I think she heard the bit where you...

Okay. Yeah, where you said you'd have a ho. There was an indecent proposal. Yeah. We've got body pillows. And I'll tell you what, life changing. Aren't they great? They're so good.

We spent a large portion of 2022 talking about these body pillows. They're long body pillows, generally for the pregnant woman, but if you've got like a little lower back pain, if you sleep all crooked and twisted. I sleep on my side, so they're so good. Yeah, I sleep on the side and I go leg over, leg under. Have you taken a bit of your inner foam out? No, I put more in.

Do you put more? I like a chubby bubby. He does like a chubby bubby. I could have given you my phone. I want more phone. What did you do with my phone? It's in a bag. Yes.

In a storage locker. Yes. Okay. You're the perfect match, both of you. He wants a little more, you want a little less. You like the skinny bitty and I want a Chubby Bubby. So. And there's nothing wrong with that.

And I spoon my Chubby Bubby. Yeah. Now, it's funny because it switches with me. When I roll, I drag the whole pillow over. Oh, see, I don't do that. Oh, God, you're a nightmare. Yeah. You take all the sheets with it as well, don't you?

No, it slides under because my arms are around it. It slides. Because you guys have satin sheets. Yeah, we sleep exclusively in satin sheets. Yeah, that's right. We wouldn't be friends if you had satin sheets. No, it's a linen sheet. And so it's often a bone of contention

that I show the pillow more affection in the bedroom Than I do my wife I plop it in the middle of us And then I spoon it And I say, night night pillow Give it a kiss Silly thing, I don't kiss it That's weird

But I do talk to it Which is not weird Of course, there's the line And my wife says She goes, stupid pillow. She's jealous of the pillow. Like a toddler. And it's a funny game where then it devolves into,

you're my favourite pillow. And I call it pillow. And then she's like, I don't like pillow. And then it's funny. It's a funny, silly game. Wait, so you're doing baby voices to each other? Silly, that sort of. Okay.

And then the other day, last night or the night before, I walked in and I said, where's pillow? It wasn't on the bed. Yeah. Where's pillow? And I hear my daughter's, eee. And I was like, I've got pillow. So I go in and I'm like, give me back my pillow.

There's a wrestle for the pillow. And then I walk in carrying pillow. I was carrying it like Kevin Costner carries Whitney Houston in the bodyguard. Yeah, perfect. Like I'm a saviour. And I push open the door with my foot and I say, you're safe now, pillow.

And Shana goes, get that pillow out of here. I'm like, pillow is my favourite. And then there's a whole bunch of silliness. Now, after we did that and I was like, laid pillow down and tucked pillow in and I laughed and she was like, get out of here, pillow. I said, it struck me that I can remember my parents at my age. Yeah.

41 now. I remember my parents when they turned 40 and in their 40s. They would never have done that. How do you know they would have not? Because we were at home. We all lived at home. Yeah, but you didn't hear them talk to each other like babies when they were in bed. No, they just never talked

like babies. Do you reckon? Never. My parents aren't voice people. They don't put on voices. I don't know. They don't have a selection of characters. They don't have a repertoire. You know, a thick folder of characters.

But they just weren't silly carry-on people. And they just weren't silly carry-on people. And they've never been silly carry-on people. Yeah. And is it a generational thing? Well, my parents did. My mum called, oh, you heard it. My mum used to call my dad Craig, Craigie Baby.

Craigie Baby. Yeah. No, Ian and Christine, very down the line. No, I can't imagine them. Yeah. No. And then they would play games and stuff. Would they? Yeah, I can't imagine them. Yeah. No. And then they would play games and stuff. Would they?

Yeah, they're all silly. Would they do silly voices? Yeah, they're silly people. My parents just aren't silly people. They're silly gooses. They're fun. They're going to have fun, but they're not silly people. Yeah, yeah.

Because I think this is well, like, we do the same. Aaron walks into a room and he puts his long leg out first and he goes, people! And then we carry out, we'll perform for each other. Yeah, I can see that. You're actors. You're actors. We'll do full dances and then we'll just sit there going,

I do that too. But you couldn't imagine your parents doing that. No, and I feel like if we ever had kids, I'm like, they probably wouldn't know that we're like, Bee-boo! And I'd put my undies on his head and go, Yeah, funny hat. Yeah, they'm like, they probably wouldn't know that we're like people! But I'd put my undies on his head and go, yeah! Funny hat. They would though because they're there and

they hear things and they are aware of it. But I was wondering for you listening, what is something that you do that your parents would, that you never see your parents do? Like something that you do. Maybe you're really affectionate to your partner and you just never see your parents affectionate to each other. Yeah. Maybe you're silly. My mum used to always sit just never saw your parents affectionate to each other. Yeah. Maybe you're silly.

My mum used to always sit on my dad's knee. Never have I, never. Yeah, but she still does it. Yeah, really? Yeah. See, Sianna would sit on my knee as like a joke or whatever if there wasn't enough seats, but I just imagine my mum and dad would just stand

if there wasn't enough seats. Yes. All right, so 0800DARLS.M. We want to take your calls. You can text as well, 9696. What do you do with your partner that your parents would never have done? All right, the cuter the better. Give us a call.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Right now, though, we're talking about the things that your parents... Yeah. That you things that your parents... Yeah. That you do that your parents would never have done. Like... Silly baby talk. Like talking...

Talk like silly babies. The one on Polo. Yeah. Someone says, we play a game called Poke the Bumhole as we run up the stairs. Now, there's no way my parents ever do that. No. I can't imagine that. No.

Aaron spends a lot of time up a ladder recently. Now, I know it's quite dangerous, but it's very tempting for a finger up the bum. No, not the ladder. That's an ACC ad. That's an ACC ad waiting to happen. Hannah, what do you and your partner do that your parents would never do?

Well, he's quite tall and I'm quite short. And for some reason, when we first got together, I would just run up and jump into his arms and he'd carry me around kind of like I'm in a front pack. Oh, my God, like a koala bear. Yeah, like 14 years later, I'm still just a koala bear. Yeah. Oh, koala.

Koala. And your parents, would they even show any affection? Oh, my goodness, no. Like, my mum has quiteid and, like, proper, but my dad probably would have. He's a bit of a weirdo, but definitely no. Yeah, right. So you wouldn't get your boyfriend to hold you as a koala in front of them?

Oh, no, I'd do it. It's funny. We're like, you guys are weird. Yeah, we are. Oh, yeah, brilliant. That it. It's funny. We're like, you guys are weird. Yeah, we are. Oh, yeah, brilliant. That's great. Thank you, Hannah. Emily, what do you and your partner do that your parents would never do?

So at night, when I become slightly overstimulated and hyperactive, my partner will sit and tickle my back. Oh, I love that. Yeah, right. So he'll start with an arm tickle, and he'll be doing, like, playing on his laptop. I'll swing my arm across, and he'll know, like, that means that. Yeah, right. So, if I have an arm tickle and he'll be doing, like, playing on his laptop, I'll swing my arm across him and he knows, like, that means arm tickles and then I roll over and he knows that means back tickles.

I do the same. Is this a universal thing? Women just love to be tickled? We love little, like, scratchy tickles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it. I do the same. I just put my hand in front of him and go, yeah.

And he knows. But you never saw your parents doing tickles. Well, actually, my grandparents used to sleep in separate beds, and now my parents sleep in separate beds because my mum had surgery. So I know they don't. Wow. There's no tickles. There's no tickles.

Mum would probably love post-surgery tickles. She'd probably love them. Yes. Emily, thank you for sharing. We're talking about what you do that your parents would never have done. You never saw your parents do it, but for some reason you like it. There are some cute stories coming through. I know.

Isn't love lovely? Love is lovely. And then is it also sad that you never saw your parents act like this? Maybe they did. Maybe it's just like a silliness that we have now. Not to say that your parents weren't affectionate. My parents, if I say, why don't you do this when we were kids? Interest rates were 22%.

That's why. So I'd imagine that's my parents. Why don't you guys like, you know, like silly baby talk each other's voice. Vaughn, interest rates were 22%. You have no idea how hard it was. Just trying to put food on the table. There was no energy for silliness because the interest rates were 22%.

Gina. The house was like $5,000. Shut up. But the interest rates. Gina, what do you and your partner do that you'd never see your parents doing? Hi, so every day my partner gets home from work, he walks in, has his arms wide open, goes huggy hug and we hug each other.

Oh, huggy hug. Yeah, you'd never see a dad come home and be like huggy hug. And we get really sulky if one of each of us doesn't do it. And my dad managed a farm supply store, so he was really busy and with three kids. I vaguely, I remember mum would sit on the bath and talk to dad while he was on the toilet. So I know for a fact there were no huggy hugs going around the household. But then their parents would never have, one would never have sat on the bath talking to the other one while they were pooping. Would they if you go back another generation?

Yeah. So maybe they would have called into a radio station in the early 90s and said, well, we talk to each other in the bathroom while one defecates and the radio host

would be like, oh, that's crazy. It's two minutes to nine. Amazing, Gina. Thank you. Some messages in. So many. So cute.

Some of them are really, some of them are really, really cute. My partner and I always kindly mock our children. They laugh. They mock back. It's all, you know,

very light-hearted. But my parents cannot stand that we tease each other. Oh, I like that. So the next generation up, they're just like, you've got to stop talking to the kids like that.

You've got to prepare your kids to be roasted in life. Oh my God. Life is just one big roasting. Yeah, it is. You think you can afford it? Ha ha, no. Someone said, we go mountain biking and I can never imagine my parents mountain biking together, let alone the fact that when I'm following my wife, I'm

consistently complimenting her derriere. Damn dead ass. Keeps the love alive. Yeah. I've got to have a bit of that cake. That's what I say. And I smack Sade's bum. Now, I can never imagine my dad doing that to my mum.

No. I've got to have a bit of that cake. That's what I say. And I smack Sade's bum. Now, I can never imagine my dad doing that to my mum. No. I've got to have a bit of that cake. What?

Someone asked me, she said, shouldn't we play a game called Pants Down, You're the Loser. Now, my parents were silly, but I never saw them pull down each other's pants and scream, you're the loser. Is that just for the house or could you win like a run at the supermarket? Or a cafe, yeah.

No, it's surely not. It's not in public. Because what happens if you get undies and all? Then your partner's up on an indecent exposure charge. Yeah, that's not ideal, is it? No, don't do that. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there.

That's copyrighted. Suzy Kato's a very good friend of mine. Well, she's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast, and then she tells all her friends.

And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.