ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 23rd February 2022

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

Testing Pet food  Vibe Shift  Top 6: Disney Villages  Silly Little Poll!  Quit with a Bang  Robbyn's Shower  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Let's keep this tight and bright because my dad's in town. Are you picking him up from the airport? No, he's Ubering here.

He's about to land imminently and then he'll jump into the Uber. Oh, so he's just dead set on getting COVID while he's here then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. He wants to get on a plane from Wellington, and then he wants to get into an Uber, and then he's going to go out to a cafe, and then he's going to go and have a board meeting. Oh, he's a boy. He's having a board meeting.

Yes, well, he's about to retire, you see. Oh, okay. So he's wrapping up things for his side of the business. And he always comes up to these little board meetings. We always get together. Usually I'll say we'll have a drink or two. It's a little bit early. Is it?

Well. No, are you in mimosas? Yeah. There's a drink for every time of the day. There really is. Or you can have a breakfast beer, like a Guinness. I consider that very much a breakfast beer. A Guinness is a breakfast beer. Yeah, it's thick. It's breakfast-y. It's smooth. beer, like a Guinness. I consider that very much a breakfast beer. A Guinness is a breakfast beer.

Yeah, it's thick. It's breakfast-y. It's smooth. It's like a milkshake. 100%. It's a milkshake. Is there cereal in it? Don't even get me started on the cereal.

Is there cereal or is there oats? Because they're not the same thing. I think you'll find, dear podcast listener, welcome to the show. This is going to be a big theme throughout the day, as it was yesterday. Oats. And you'll see that the majority has spoken. Democracy rules. Well, the majority in the room also spoke louder and first.

And oats is oats. These two are pissed. They're going to join the parliamentary protest on the oats are oats. Our science is going to say Oats or oats We're not there for any other Mandates or anything No no no

We're there for the big reasons Speaking of oats I've got to find somewhere To go to take dad to brunch Because you know I'm still I'm 32 years old And doing quite well for myself

But he's got to pay right He's got to pay Dad pays Yeah You know what I mean Yeah yeah yeah No longer has a job Dad pays

My family aren't My family aren't brunch people So if we go for brunch I pay for brunch Because I don't want them Losing their mind At how much people

Spend on brunch Yeah because they're like Well we've got plenty of Cereal at home Yeah They're not brunch people Your parents are the same age Definitely not brunch people

They just see that As absolutely wasteful Oh wow Yeah my parents are sort of Wellingtonian White and upper people So they love a brunch Oh they loveful. Oh wow. Yeah, my parents are sort of Wellingtonian, Wairarapa people. So they love a brunch. Oh, they love a brunch. Yeah, but we're talking

like your grey town, Wairarapa. We're not talking rural Wairarapa. That's your big difference. City folks. Rural. Rural. Very much a cereal. Take your own cereal, people. Absolutely.

Or oats. The perfect way to punctuate the ending of this podcast intro. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletchvorn and Hayley, Wednesday morning. It's two minutes past six. Dombroda.

What? Russian for good morning. I'm just practicing. It's two minutes past six. Dombroda. What? Russian for good morning. I'm just practising. It's only a matter of time. Are you inspired? You want to become a polyglot now? Dombroda. No, they're just about to invade Ukraine

and then from there on out, they'll just take what they want. So terrible. Ukraine's such a beautiful country. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. What is it this morning? Assets have been frozen. 140,000 troops at the border. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. What is it this morning? Assets have been frozen. 140,000 troops

at the border. Yeah. Ew. Well, at least the Queen's doing alright. She's doing okay. Sounds like she's fine. But that's what, like when they get older, these things stay with them. Yeah. My nan got a virus

last year and it took her a long time to shake it. She got that RSV, that one that the babies get. The Queen will be back on the horse in no time. It's not like she's got much to do. What does the Queen do? What if the Queen's not even sick? She just went to fang around in the Land Rover up in Scotland for a while. With a couple of gin and tonics.

She loves absolutely punishing that thing around that huge estate. She does. Love seeing her sideways in some mud. Yeah. No, she doesn't sit side saddle. Oh, shit, no. Nah, nah, she's... She's spread.

Whatever you call the other traditional saddle. Spread-eagled. Spread-eagled. The queen. All right. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, Disney are going all out. There's going to be like Disney villages and Disney suburbs now.

It's not just like an Avengers themed accommodation or a Star Wars place to stay. You're going to be able to have gated communities. Full blown Disney. You'd be all about this. Absolutely.

I know a few people that would be absolutely into this. Not me. I've got the top six features of those gated communities coming up in the top six Alright next on the show We're going to start with

A bizarre study That has found that Four in ten people Do this Gross Before they feed their pets Do this gross thing Or have done it

At least admitted to doing this once As it's like Get out of the way Get your head out of the way There's no food in the bowl yet! Not that. It's gross. Well, four in ten pet owners have admitted to taste testing the pet food before they feed it to their pet. That's yuck.

Yuck. Is this pet dependent? Is it dogs only or cats, dogs? Birds. I'd have a little bird seed. There's mention of guinea pigs. What do guinea pigs eat actually? Cats? So it says here

that, so 4 in 10 so 60% and then 40% that So 4 in 10 So 60% 40% sorry 4 in 10 60% It's too early for maths I don't do maths until 7 You would say 4 out of 10 or the other 60%

Yes exactly See I was getting confused Don't be embarrassed Carry on with your steps. I've got lots of dumb friends I'm always making excuses

for. And it's actually quite nice to have a couple of dumb mates in the mix. It is. It always makes you feel better.

It certainly lifts up your private school education, doesn't it? It does. It does. And because of that I'm usually surrounded by very intelligent

women. So it's nice to surround myself by a couple of dumb men every morning. As you were. The most common food that the pet owners will taste will be the main food, but then also treats.

Ew, why? Because a lot of it's out of curiosity. I wonder what that dog chocolate tastes like, that carob. Oh, you haven't eaten that, have you? No, but I've wanted. But you haven't had a nipple. We don't get it a nipple we don't we don't

get it like we don't have it and also I've wondered you know those things they chew that are good for their teeth they're like the toothbrush

dental I've wondered what they taste like well there must be people out there putting it in their mouth because 53% did so

53% of people have you just joined the show 53% of 60% of 40% have put it in their mouth. Excuse me, don't come in and muddle my math but 53% of people did it out of curiosity.

29% even admitted the product tasted good to them. Well it should. That's a job title, you know, like pet food tasters. But have you ever given your cat like one of those little gravy tin ones or packet ones? Like a fancy feast. And it comes out and it's all like gravy and you're like, okay, that kind of does it.

No, no, I'm the opposite. That's the worst looking one. It's the raw dog food that I look at every now and then and be like, I could make a burger out of that because it's got a good bit of fat through it. No, no, no. Let it defrost. Yeah. Would you, how much, okay,

how much money would I have to pay you to dip your spoon into a tin of chef? Yeah, or chef. Wait, are we talking the gravy chunky stuff or old school jelly meat? Jelly meat. Oh, yuck. Jelly meat, chef. Cats prefer chef, meow.

Yeah. And take, and swallow it down. How much money? You're probably up $8,000 in my pocket. I'll take it. Don't tell me how much money is in your pocket. You've never done this before. You start very, very low.

At least you've literally got $100,000. It's not lower than that. How much? You've got to wait for them to put the dollar up so then that you've. And then you halve it And you go I've only got that I've only got that much

That's so yuck I would never Rolly only eats dry biscuits I ate a tux I ate a tux You remember the tux triangles When I was younger Primarily because someone

Told me I couldn't Right It's a way to get born To do anything Not as much anymore I've kind of grown out of that But if you are going to Eat a tux biscuit Lots of water on standby born to do anything. Not as much anymore. I've kind of grown out of that. But if you are going to eat a tux biscuit,

lots of water on standby. I didn't do it with milk. I'm not a milk guy. So imagine it's like a wet bix. They do say don't feed it to your pet if you wouldn't eat it yourself. So maybe we should all have a little hoon. See what it's like. All right, 12 past six.

Next on the show, E-scooters I prefer the e-bikes now If I'm going to get a high Oh here we go You can go faster on them You can go faster Yeah you can Yeah and you can chuck something

In the little basket But mind you The one I was on the other day Did a steering alignment I had to Almost hold the handlebars On the post To get the wheels straight

They get smashed They get hammered But some e-scooter stats. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Beam have sent us a media release. Beam. Beam. Beam.

The purple ones. Do you know, I always forget this happens, but there's things called media monitors. People who are listening might not know this. You look surprised. Oh, this does ring a bell and they always listen eh so then yeah the modern one is like ai listens to all the radio stations and like the tv and like the newspaper website that's how that's how netflix knew we

were trying to rig their top 10 yes they cancelled Remember? They cancelled it. They cancelled it. So the media monitoring will hear the word beam and it'll be like, doot. And the company that looks after beams media stuff. If it pays for it. Yeah, if it pays for it. We'll get a little, and their keyword is beam. And then they get a doot doot. And they mentioned you this morning and here's the thing.

Here's what they said. Yes. Oh, we better be careful then. Well, you can't slag off anyone these days. Well, you can slag them off. It's absolutely your right to slag them off. But I think... The purple ones.

I'm imagining they're listening to this sometime later today, absolutely smacking their lips and rubbing their hands together. It's in free publicity. So I would like to say it was Michelle Leong that sent this email. Oh, did she? Big props to Michelle. All I used to be... Michelle is now in line for a pay rise.

I don't know if that's how it works. I promise it. I don't think so. I guarantee it. I don't know if that's how it works. But I use Beam every morning. I've got the monthly pass. Is Beam your preferred?

At the moment, I'm scanning in and they're beeping at me lots. Are you okay? You're emotional. You missed the other ones. You just love the feeling of this. Beam's got the bikes as well. They've got some

purple bikes. Yeah, but Lime have the bikes too. Lime have the scooters and bikes. Don't mention Lime. We're on big beam money. We're media shells.

We're not on... We're not on... We won't do anything for money. We can't be able to get the vaccine. I haven't taken a beam for a long time.

22nd of December was my last one. What time was that? Oh, good point. Did someone click the are you drunk? No. Was it a bike or a scooter? Because like I said before, the bikes shiddle over the scooters. I've never taken

a higher bike. It was 12.30 in the afternoon. It must have been a boozy lunch. It must have been a boozy. Yeah, a boozy lunch. Christmas boozy. But it turns out that not just beams, but e-scooters in general in the cities are having a good impact. Yeah.

Well, they're getting cars off the road. 32% of riders who live a car-free lifestyle, 20% have revealed they even sold their car as a result of having access to shared e-scooters. You're carless. Yeah, but not because of the scooters. I just have an apartment that doesn't have a car park.

Ah, yes. If you need a car or a van, you can do those little, what are they called? City hops. By the hour. I love those. City hop monitors just got a bing. I love the city hop. How do you get it? Where's the keys? Well, you sign up and you get like a swipe card

and you just boop into the car. So you book it online and then you just boop into the car. And when you unbook, it's like a tap on, tap off. And then they just charge you monthly. So yeah, it depends on the type of car, but it's anywhere from like 12 to 14, 15 an hour. Are they good cars? And that includes fuel.

Yeah. Well, you can get an SUV, you can get an e-car, you can get like, or a little nana car. So you don't, if you live in the city, you don't really need to. No.

Not as much as you used to. And car parking costs a fortune. Oh, I know. So 65% of Beams writers are commuters to both work and study. And the large majority of which fall into the 25 to 34 age bracket. Yeah, nice.

Bit of a skirt, skirt there. But yeah, people are selling their cars. Sometimes I see you scooting as I'm turning off the road away. Haven't even had an accident yet, and it's been remarkable. You didn't shit your pants that time. Did you? He shit his pants on a cobbled, overseas he shit his pants on a cobbled road. Did you?

I had Pamplevactor, and I was racing to get to the... And you were on a scooter. And then we were all playing shitting our pants on Camp Labacta. That was in the New Zealand Herald as well, that story. Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. That is forever immortalised online. It got turned into an online sign at the Waitangi Day celebrations in London, too.

Oh, I bet it did. As I recall. Great times. Alright, 20 past six. What brand of scooter were you on when you shit your pants? It was a Lime actually. They didn't have Beam in Prague. Did you give it a spritz down? Yeah. There was none on that. It wasn't...

Let's not go into that. Down the leg? It doesn't matter if it's on the scooter or not. I feel like there's an air of give it a wipe down. This was pre-COVID wiping everything down. It's not the COVID we're worried about. was pre-COVID wiping everything down. It's not the COVID we're worried about. You were only saying it was since COVID.

Before that, it was shit on everything. Basically. Next on the show. There's a vibe shift coming. I didn't know what a vibe shift was. And now I do. And I'm going to tell you what it is

and how to prepare for this vibe shift. I'm just reading up. I'm trying to tell you what it is and how to prepare for this vibe shift. I'm just reading up. I'm trying to get hip and down with the cool kids. And I think I'm doing a pretty good job. You certainly sound cool already, that's for sure. I do. Apparently, there is a vibe shift imminent. Okay.

You know what a vibe shift is? It's a global vibe shift. Oh, it's a global. So it's global. This is global. Okay. You know what a vibe shift is? It's a global vibe shift. Oh, it's a global. It sounds serious. No one is safe. Is there a date? Is it like daylight savings? I'm just trying to work this out. It's imminent. It's in the wind, they say.

It is on the way. Is it the Russian thing? No. Is it World War 3? Yeah. It's a vibe shift. Also, thank God I was born when I was born. I'm too old to be drafted Yeah, is it World War III? Yeah. Is that the vibe change? That's going to change the vibe. It's a vibe shift. Also, thank God I was born when I was born. I'm too old to be drafted for war now, aren't I? Because if you're bad back, that'll get you out of it.

And my flat feet. And my colour borders. And the fact that if I was, I'd just run away. I'd run away. I'd go blush. I'd run away. I'm not going, whoa, have you seen World War II movies? Horrible. No, a vibe shift, as I'm working out,

is it's when the whole zeitgeist changes. Right. seen World War II movies? Horrible. No, a vibe shift. As I'm working out, it's when the whole zeitgeist changes. Right. So everything that's in the zeitgeist just goes... The zeitgeist, that word's around a bit. I heard it a lot before I actually Googled it because it was one of those words I felt I should have already known. Right.

But it's not... It sounds scary, but it's not. It's like pop culture. Pop culture. What's happening in the world? What are the trends? What will be referenced in the future that's happening now? Yeah, a vibe shift known as the period in time

where one trend dies and another emerges. But when it's a vibe shift, it's not just like we're not doing. Skinny jeans. We're not doing skinny jeans anymore. It's like we're not doing that whole era of fashion anymore. We're not talking skinny jeans anymore. It's like we're not doing that whole era of fashion anymore. We're not talking in that way. So you think the 80s, is that what we're talking about? The 80s had that real look?

Yeah, so that had a look and it's not always decadal. No, but it's kind of the easiest way if you think about it, like the 80s had the glam hair. Absolutely. The insane stuff and then the 90s was grunge. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at the moment you would notice that the vibe, I would say,

is very early 2000s. You know, so a lot of people, we're going back to like hipster jeans, the crop tops. Yeah. We've got the, I don't know what to call them other than a derogatory term, the little strands at the front of your face. We don't say that word anymore. No, I know.

That's why I didn't say it. The B word. What B word? Huh? Not bangs. Bangs. Oh, I thought you were going to say bangs. The strands.

Oh, bangs. It's an S word. It's an S word. Oh, right. The sluzzy strands. Oh, no, I never heard that. Okay, right. I wasn't going to call them that.

Well, apparently that's all come back. I missed that vibe. Mints and cheese here. Mints and cheese here. Christ wasn't going to call him that. Well, apparently that's all come back. I missed that vibe. Right. Mince and cheese here. Mince and cheese here? Christchurch never stopped in their defence. They've always been a big fan of a bleach mix with your natural darkness. Controversial call, Vaughan Smith. Yeah.

So apparently a vibe shift is on its way. That whole vibe right now, and it's been pushed by TikTok. Like everyone on TikTok has a vibe, you would say, as you go through. Like there's a theme here. That's all going in the trash, and there's a new vibe coming. What's the new one? No one knows. No one knows.

No one knows when they're excited. What are you? Okay. But it's coming. It's coming. I reckon when there's a big vibe shift is when the generation that's just like they really thrived in the previous vibe is where they start resenting the younger generation.

Absolutely. That's where your Gen Z. Yeah, the baby boomers turned on the millennials and the millennials are turning on the Gen Zers when this happens. Exactly. I don't think we should let it divide us. And they're saying it's not just, if you're not ready for the vibe shift, a lot of people would say like, oh, I'm just getting too old, you know,

so I'm not keeping up with trends because I'm too old. No, no, no, that's not it. It's a vibe shift. It for the vibe shift, a lot of people would say like, oh, I'm just getting too old, you know? So I'm not keeping up with trends because I'm too old. No, no, no, that's not it. It's a vibe shift. It's a vibe shift. And it's coming. It's coming. What genes are going to be next? I reckon if you look,

if you want to like sum up the vibe that's about to shift, I would say euphoria. If you've watched- That's a dark vibe? If you've watched euphoria. No, but like fashion wise, the way they talk, the way they dress, I'd say that's the vibe at the moment.

A new one. They say there are, what are they called? Vibe survivalists and vibe shifters that you can follow on TikTok if you just search like vibe shifters, vibe survivalists. I've got a feeling I'm not going to like vibe shifters. No, yeah. They feel like they're just really pushing it and hoping'm not going to like vibe shifters. Yeah. They feel like they're just really pushing it and hoping something's

going to stick. Yeah, they are. But they're in charge of it. So that's the only way you can pick up. You've got to be prepared. Don't panic. Stay sharp.

Oh my God, like having a civil defense emergency kit. Absolutely. Okay. Stay hydrated. Have fun. This is the advice.

Get ready for the vibe shift. It's coming. Stay hydrated? Yeah. God, I'm always forgetting to drink Get ready for the vibe shift. It's coming. Stay hydrated? Yeah. God, I'm always forgetting to drink water and now there's another reason I'm going to need to. Also, don't get sucked in by micro vibes. Oh my God!

How will I identify the difference between a major and a micro? Is there macro vibes? You'll feel a micro vibe arrive and leave as if it was never here. The vibe shift is going to come and it's here to stay. Get ready for it. Someone woke up this morning for a wake and bake and they're listening to this and they're like...

Is it happening today? Is it happening today? From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. Hello. I don't know what you just said, boing, and I was like, what are you? It's a weird word to hear, just, okay. So Disney, the massive company that I just actually found a diagram of all of the entertainments, all of the entertainment.

Well, they own everything, don't they? Good Lord, the like Disney Plus, the access to all things, that alone's massive, but then there's even more outside the entertainment. Well, they own everything, don't they? Good Lord. The Disney Plus, the access to all things. That alone's massive, but then there's even more outside of entertainment. What would Walt say? They're branching into living communities. Correct, Armando. This isn't their first dip either. I did a Google search and I found a story from 2003.

Oh, okay. Where they'd done something. So they're planning to also design another village beside Disney World in Orlando, but have since sold it. Right. But people live there and stuff now. But this is, they're looking to do this in Florida. Yes.

Where a lot of people retire there, don't they? It's their retirement area. Yeah. And it's for living, not just staying. Correct. It's not temporary accommodation. Yeah, they said you could never leave. It's like you can't never leave.

That's being held hostage. Right. Contino. Contino is the site and name, the working title of the first residential village. It's 800, I saw, a 618 acre plot. Wow, so a lot of houses. That's big. It's going to have, like, a lake, a massive livable lake in the middle.

What do you mean a livable lake? Can you rent out a lovely lake? You can swim in the lake. It's man-made, man-made lake that you can live around. You can have, like, lakeside. Oh, okay. But it's also swimmable. It doesn't get too deep. Okay.

It's insane, these conceptual drawings. Have they said like what it'll be themed? It's not going to be like hard themed. Right. But I've got the top six features of the Disney suburbs that could definitely fit the theme. Number six on the list, a groundskeeper

Goofy. Imagine looking out your window and like Goofy's driving past and he has to wave. And he's doing the street sweeper. And there's some poor New Zealand or Australian in there trying to just do their working holiday. And the sweltering heat. A fresh drama school graduate. Sweat just absolutely filling up Disney's suit, Goofy's shoes. Number five on the list of the top six features of the Disney suburb, Stormtroopers

security guards. Yeah, or you wouldn't at night walking around with Stormtroopers. They'll never hit anybody. With actual laser guns. Yeah. So if you break in, they just pew, pew, pew, pew. And if they call for backup, it's Darth Vader. And you're in so much trouble then. And he comes out of the

run. Number four on the list of the top six features of the Disney suburbs. At least one street in every suburb is called Waverley Place and that's where the wizards live. Aww. Yeah. Fletch does not get that at all. I don't know.

I just mean, aw. More of a sort of a 2000s Disney, isn't it? Wizards of Waverley Place, yeah. Wizards of Waverley Place. It was old... Disney Channel. Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez.

Yeah, of course. She was a Waverly place. It was old. Disney Channel. Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez. Yeah, of course. She was a wizard. Number three on the list of the top six features of the Disney suburbs. Always lock your doors because the Beagle Boys from DuckTales are constantly trying to rob your house. They were the robbers, weren't they? They were the robbers from DuckTales. They were always trying to get Uncle Scrooge's money. I would have liked to have thought that with the Stormtrooper security guards, it was a nice safe place to live, but no.

There'd be no match for the Stormtrooper security guards it was a nice safe place to live, but no. There'd be no match for the Stormtrooper security guards. The Beagle Boys. Equally as incompetent. I'd like to see a fight. A full brawl between the Beagle Boys and the Stormtroopers. Number two on the list of the top six features of the Disney suburbs.

COVID. No, not true. In the middle of the lake, lifeguard Ariel, the little mermaid. Oh, yeah. I think you're going to get some old boys purposely bloody drowning in that water

or they're going to get rescued by the mermaid. Am I right? Am I right? And number one on the list of the top six features of the Disney suburbs.

He's easily corruptible. How does he keep getting re-elected? It's Mayor Mickey. Mayor Mickey. Mayor's easily corruptible. How does he keep getting re-elected? It's Mayor Mickey. Mayor Mickey. Mayor Mickey Mouse. Yeah, he holds town meetings. Right.

He's like, I'm raising the rates! And everyone's like, Boo! You satan! Shut up! Stormtroopers! Shoot anybody

that dares disrespect Mayor Mickey! That is today's top six. Do you consider oats to be a type of cereal? This is today's Silly Little Poll after quite the argument we had yesterday. I just, when I'm looking at the photos in the chat with the results and some comments, I see the photo Hayley sent yesterday afternoon. Did you send this?

This looks like a very posh countdown. No, it was sent to me in my DMs on Instagram. Someone was like, why would oats be a cereal if in the cereal aisle they advertise separately oats? But then this is what it says in that cereal aisle. Oats, bran, porridge, and cereals. And muesli.

All I'm saying is why would they list them both? Yeah, why? They don't need to list any of them. Just put breakfast foods and be done with it. As we decided yesterday, the majority rules, which is why it's good to have an odd number on the team, is that cereal is crunchy. Well, if majority rules, then...

And it's processed, isn't it? Cereal is processed. Oats are oats rules, then... And it's processed, isn't it? Cereal is processed. Oats are oats. Oats are oats. Shut up. If majority rules, I'll take my crown. Because New Zealand says oats are cereal 59% to 41%. Oats are not cereal.

So what's happened... Who are these 41%? What a bunch of chumps. No, what's happened here is people are assuming we're asking, are oats a breakfast thing? I think you're correct. happened here is people are assuming we're asking, all right, it's a breakfast thing. I think you're correct. You know? And so what we can draw from that is...

The wording, Carwin. I think Carwin's put it on. The wording wasn't clear enough. Yeah. Holy cow. I think Carwin... So this is really on Carwin for misleading. I don't...

No, no, no, no, no. And what were you up to last night, Vaughan, with your campaign? Because when I checked and voted, it was heavy. I didn't do anything. I didn't... All I did was cast my own vote. I didn't go out there trying to influence the vote I certainly didn't ask Russia if they could do anything. No, see what you've done

Carwen, do you consider oats to be a type of cereal? You've lent it sort of going, oh I guess technically Don't listen to these fools Carwen. There's nothing wrong with the wording. Our oat cereal. If anything, these guys have morphed the word cereal.

To them, a cereal's got to be a bloody Cocoa Pop. It's got to be processed. May I refer it once again to the Google image search? Google image search, cereal. Google definition of cereal. Where's the oats yet? There's no oats there Scroll along

No, what are you seeing? Frosties, Nutri-Grain, Skippy, Rice-Eats I'm telling you it's a cereal grain No, that's not what you're telling us I'm telling you it's cereal grain So thus it is a cereal The poll didn't say are oats a cereal grain

That's not the argument at hand Are they a cereal? Exactly But you're saying what I'm saying is oats are a cereal grain Thank That's not the argument at hand. Are they a cereal? Exactly. But you're saying what I'm saying is oats are a cereal grain. Thank you for that. Oats are oats. Oats are oats. Oats are a cereal.

Oats are oats. Do you consider oats to be a type of cereal? 59% of people said yes. What were the messages? What did people say? Gianna said not cereal. You never say, oh, have some cereal and then pour a bowl of oats. You don't pour a bowl of oats.

Yeah, exactly. You make a bowl of oats. You have to pour the oats into a bowl. No, you're tipped. No, I'm poor. It's a tip versus a pour. Fletch, you're not helping. You're not helping.

Shh, shh, shh. You're not helping. Fletch's mother has messaged me. Oh, here we go. Bev has weighed in. You're right. All those grains are cereals. The others are idiots.

Your mum just called you an idiot. I haven't even met her. She's called you an idiot too. Thank you, Bev. It's good to have your back up on this. They're an ode. A cereal is processed. Horrible of oats.

Jess said they have their own special subcategory of oats. So what team is she on? Then it falls. That's a pro cereal argument. Right, Craig, where do you sit on this argument? This is Craig, mate. Craig. Yeah, g'day, Craig.

I said Craig. I did say Craig. Where do you sit on the argument, Craig? Mate, I sit on the fact that oats are an ingredient just like raisins. You get raisins in cereal. No, no, no, no, no. Raisins are in cereal. And cookies.

Craig. Thank you, Craig. Yes, Craig's a good man. He's a good man. Craig. Craig didn't even know his own name before, so we can't take his opinion too seriously. Craig, thank you.

But yeah, they are. They're an ingredient, aren't they? They are an ingredient. In cereal. They are a cereal. They are not a cereal. They are a cereal. They are not a cereal. They are an oats. Where do you find oats?

Someone said, where do you find oats in the supermarket? Tessa said, where do you find oats in the supermarket? In the cereal aisle. In the same aisle as cereal. Yeah, but there's other things in the cereal aisle. They're bunched with the cereal. In the cereal aisle, there's often long life juices and the likes. Megan writes, anything that requires heating is not a cereal.

Next thing, people will be trying to tell me pancakes are cereal. Exactly. Same thing. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. I think we're all dumber having heard it. They are the original grain most cereals are made from. What? Says Sandy.

Oats are the original grain most cereals are made from. Yeah, but that doesn't make oats a cereal, does it? Oats are a cereal grain. Just like flour is not a cookie. The very name cereal is derived from the type of grain this is, the cereal grain.

So are you listening to yourself? Are you listening to yourself? I can even hear in your tone of voice that you don't even believe it anymore. I believe myself 100%. No, you don't. Oats are a cereal. You're losing faith. They're a cereal grain.

Because you know that oats are oats. Oh, we need to get branded t-shirts made. Oats. Are oats. Are oats. Oats are oats. Sounds racist to me. Team Oats.

It sounds like oats is code for something. Nope. Oats is code for oats. Oats. And oats are oats. Oats are oats. Oats are oats is oats. Oats is And oats are oats, not cereal. Oats are oats or oats is oats? Oats is oats. I like oats as oats.

Multi, multiple. These are oats. Oats. Oat is oats. Certainly, I'll tell you what, they aren't a cereal. They're not a cereal. They are. The people of...

Her woman in the US called Claire and her boyfriend Peter decided life's too short and they were going to quit their jobs and travel the world. Because if there was ever a time to travel the world. It's now. It's 2022, baby. Everything's open. Have a blast.

And she didn't want to just quit her job by saying, you know, giving her two weeks notice and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. And then being like, thank you so much and job by saying, you know, giving her two weeks notice and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. And then being like, bye, thank you so much. And having a little, you know, Friday wine. Get one of those giant cards that everyone signs. Indeed. She instead, with the help of her boyfriend, Peter, created a PowerPoint presentation that she showed during her exit interview.

It included things like a graph, like an axes graph. One of them on the A axes, X axes. Good Lord. I know, just then. On the X axes was her mental health, and on the Y axes was her time at the job. A straight line down. Her mental health went down.

Absolutely down. Another one to ask, went down. Absolutely down. Another one was a pie chart that showed the title of the pie chart, Reasons I've Cried in the Past 365 Days. The blue wedge, work. The green and the rest of the green wedge, also work. Wow, okay. I will not be, and at the end of it,

so it was basically like an absolute slaughtering of her time at this job. and at the end of it so it was basically like an absolute slaughtering of her time at this job and at the end of it I will not be providing further feedback since you don't listen anyway

and that's how she left I've always found like exit interviews quite weird at workplaces eh? Like weird to do one for our last job it's like well

we're leaving what do you care? Yeah, yeah I've got nothing else to say Maybe we've got to call remember? Do you not get a call? I don leaving. What do you care? Yeah, yeah, I've got nothing else to say. Maybe we've got to call her. Do you want to get a call? I didn't answer.

Oh, do you? Okay. Yeah. But it's like you're leaving. Why do they want to see what they're doing wrong? Is that the idea? Right. Well, she probably...

I guess so. They don't really care, but... No. I guess you've got to, right? You have to look like you're interested in their feedback as to why are you leaving? I think if you want your last paycheck, you've got to do it. Yeah, maybe. That's why I didn't stop.

That's why I didn't do the interview. They haven't stopped paying me. Oh, lovely. Okay, great. That's awesome. At both companies. Yeah. You're a smart man, Vaughn. I'm just, yeah, fall through the gaps guy, you know? Just like, they forget about it or, you know, give up.

Why not? So she posted this on her TikTok, 2.8 million views overnight. Wow. Everyone's commenting that they're so inspired.

But also making herself look super fun to employ in the future. Yeah. Well, she's off travelling the world, she doesn't need a job. You know?

And then by the time she gets back, this would have died down. Yeah, absolutely. Should we Google her name? Yeah. We want to ask this morning, have you ever quit a job with a bang? In a blaze of glory.

Like, you didn't just go out quietly. You went out and you told them what it was like to work there. I don't know. You set something on fire. You stole something. My first job out of high school, I worked for a cafe that was also a catering company. Oh yeah. And there was a young man who worked there, about the same age, 19 or 20 years old. And he once took the catering van, drove it downtown, left it in the middle of the street with all the doors open and the keys in the ignition with a note on the steering wheel saying FU.

And that's how they say it. I remember my boss, yeah, I was in the cafe and the boss got a call. He's like, I've got to go pick up the catering van. Simon's quit.

Oh my God. And that was it. And it was just like, left it. They were a cafe and a caterers. Yeah. They had a lot on their plate. They really did.

The busy kitchen. I'll see you guys later. It's not going to get better than that for me today. I don't disagree. It's not going to get better than that for me today I don't disagree It's not going to get better than that for you today But I don't think it was good enough to leave That was not you quitting

You can't quit after that joke I was just off home So we want to know That is going out with a bag though That's insane Someone just takes thousands of dollars of the food and the truck.

Yeah, they didn't deliver the food. The back of the truck was all filled with the food. Did he, I mean you worked there as well. Do you think he had a reason to do that?

No, I think he was just a brat. I don't know. Yeah, sort of just like a dick, you know. All right, well 0800DARLS at him.

Want to hear your stories this morning? Give us a call or you can text 9696. When did you quit a job with a bang? What happened? Can you beat that? Yeah.

Maybe you did a PowerPoint presentation or you just told work what you really thought of everything. Maybe you stole something. A woman in America quit her job by creating a very scathing PowerPoint presentation which she played at her ex-interview including some graphs around how the job ruined her mental health. Yep. And then just mic drop and leave.

Mic drop. And then she said, yeah, we'll be taking no further comments about this. And then left her job to travel the world. So we asked you, did you quit your job with a bang? A lot of anonymous callers. I'm thinking some stealing's happened.

Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Oh, he's even speaking in a good voice. In a real 60 minutes sex offender voice.

Sorry, Anonymous, we're not insinuating. Anonymous, how did you quit with a bang? I was working as an apprentice welder and engineer. Yep. And my boss was very upset with my welding skills. Yeah. So he fired me and everyone went to smoker and I welded his tools to the bench and then left.

How are those welding skills? That is so good. That's amazing. Everybody walked back in and he's like, look, told you shit at welding. Did you get any feedback from your boss? Oh, yes.

There's a few angry words exchanged, but yeah. Did you get your last paycheck? I did. Oh, good man, good man. That's amazing, Anonymous. Thank you. Brilliant. Our second Anonymous caller.

Good morning. How did you go out with a bang? Good morning. Good morning. I just had a really awful boss. I worked at a supermarket and he just, oh, he was just awful. And so when I finally quit, I handed him my uniform in a bag from a different supermarket. So you quit Countdown and you gave it to him in a pack and save bag.

Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. And he just looked at me, took the uniform out, and then gave me the bag back. So I just looked at him and just walked away. That is the most subtle little dig on the way out. I love that. So elegant. Yeah.

Thank you, thank you. That's so funny. Anonymous, thank you. Some messages in. I resigned and the boss said Well I want the company car back now And I said I've still got it for a couple of weeks

He said now So I parked it in no parking Right outside and it got towed But it was his responsibility then Beautiful I like that Nice Dealing them that on the way out Someone said

I've never quit a job, but today might be the day if another person tries to tell me that oats aren't a cereal. So I'm glad that we've got some passionate people on board. Quit your job because oats are oats. Cereals processed, highly processed food. It sounds to me like they're really there. Well, my parents' mum's been looking in the dictionary.

She's been messaging more. Yeah, she sent me more messages. She needs to get on board with the team. She took photos of the Oxford Dictionary. Oh, my God. Does she not know about online? Grain yielded by hearty cereal. Interesting.

Cereal of corn or edible grain. And then it says, especially as breakfast-ish, made from cereal oats. We're not that cereal. If you've just joined us, a hearty debate before seven about oats being oats and not a cereal. Yeah, thank you. That wasn't the debate.

It was just a topic. Definitely cereal. They're a cereal grain. Thus, they are a cereal. I'm about to quit my job in a blaze of glory. I put my resignation in for two weeks, then got home, waited a couple of days, text the boss, told him he's an asshole

and he mentally upsets everybody and I shan't be coming in for the last two weeks of my resignation period. Did they say it like that? I shan't be coming in. I shan't be. I shan't be returning. I shan't be. Somebody said I went back after I had quit

and was spoken to rather rudely on the way out and left them a little poo. Don't do that. That's probably a little bit. What? Like White Lotus. Yeah. Unless you win Lotto, you're not allowed to poo on somebody's.

If you win Lotto, you're allowed to poo on a desk because you're rich and you can pay for their new desk. Well, that's what you've always wanted to do, so I don't... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The protest has ruined throwing poos. They've totally ruined it.

I had it up my sleeve, do you know what I mean? For your last day. I've been waiting to just rocket a poo in, but I can't do that now. I wanted to make a statement. It makes it look like I'm a copycat. It makes it look like I'm an absolute copycat. All right, coming up,

your chance to win a Vodafone Super Wi-Fi prize pack. But next on the show. Turns out it's a busy wee week for dating apps. I'll tell you why. I mean, she's got a broken heart, doesn't she? How is she doing? Gail. I don't know.

I haven't checked up. Have you checked up? I haven't checked. No one checked? I reckon she's doing pretty bloody good, to be fair. Well, after the royalties start rolling in for that song, absolutely yes. Absolutely. But of course, she has a broken heart, much like many people.

This week, they're calling it New Love Week because dating websites get around 63% more sign-ups on this week of the year than ever before. This is all the apps. All the apps you can think of. All the classics. We're talking your Tinders, your Bumbles, your Hinges, your Floppers. Your Floppers. Your Floppers. What happens on Floppers?

You've got to have some sort of floppy aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something about your flops. You flop it out and then you decide based on that flop whether you want to have a date or not. It's a sound-based dating app. Yeah, it is. Okay, would you date me for this flop?

Oh, I'd run a mile. It sounds very wide. Okay, what is this flop? I'm not brave enough. Is sounds very wide. Very. Yeah, okay. What is this flop? I'm not brave enough. I'm not brave enough. Is this flop more to your liking? There's my man. It was more of a flop, more of a tap.

No, that was a thud. You want to join thudder. You want to hop on thudder. You want to join thudder. Jesus Christ, that's not a flop. So they're saying this is because of Valentine's Day disappointment. So either on Valentine's Day you felt more alone than ever before because everybody else was celebrating Valentine's Day

and you didn't have any gifts. And you're seeing it online. Seeing it online, you're seeing people buying roses, people walking down the street with flowers and all the likes, going out for dinner and having a lovely time and you didn't. Or research shows that a lot of couples argue on Valentine's Day. And what, break up?

Yeah, I guess it's because like relations fall apart on Valentine's Day because maybe the expectation is there and you're finally going, oh my God, they didn't even step up on this day. So it's kind of like, well, if they're not going to bother, it's over. If they're not going to bother, it's absolutely over. So that's why all of those factors combined, this makes this week the busiest week for dating apps. They call it Love Action Week. Wow, okay.

Love Action Week. And a 63% increase in new sign-ups. That's huge. During the week after Valentine's Day, which is this very week. And they say because of that, you've got obviously more chances to find the right one. More fish in the sea.

So if you're feeling a little bit out of luck, out of love. Get on thudder. Hop on thudder. You've only got a couple more days. Well, maybe a flopper or a tapper. Sure. Not everybody can take a thudder. Oh.

We've got to talk about Britney. Big news. Huge news. I mean, have we spoken enough about Britney of late? A lot's happened. Yeah. She's free of the conservatorship. Free of the conservatorship, but she has not stopped.

Pump it up a little bit. Yeah. So she is free of the conservatorship. She had a very public fight with her sister, Jamie Lynn, where she's absolutely called her out on social media for being a traitorous liar. Recently, she just got invited to Congress. The White House? Yes.

Yeah. To speak about her conservatorship and how she overcame it to be where she is. And yesterday it was announced. She's got a puppy. She's got a new puppy. Oh, what kind of puppy did she get? A little blue-eyed, fancy-looking thing. Oh, cute.

Oh, that's cute. Oh, it's like a border collie. Is it a border collie? Yeah, but like a cream, like a light. Oh, it's like a border collie. Is it a border collie? Yeah, but like a cream, like a lime. You can get a creamy tan. Australian shepherd. Oh, wee. An Australian shepherd.

A white Australian shepherd. Anyway, the exciting news of work she's speaking about is that yesterday it was announced she has just reached a book deal with publishing house Simon & Schuster. So I heard it was 15 million US. Yeah, 15 million. So $22 million. New Zealand. New Zealand.

Okay. Colouring. And it's going to be a paint by numbers. Yes. And it's going to be a dance book. Yeah, telling. How to spin and spin and spin and just keep on spinning. A whole lot of feet drawings.

Yeah. So this is the publishing house is the publishers behind Obama's autobiography. It is set to be a tell-all. That's what I like to hear. I want to hear that. A tell-all memoir about her life, family, and career. I would have thought she would have got more money for doing like an Oprah tell-all. I'm sure she would have been asked. She'd probably do that to promote the book.

And you can read more about her than my book. Yeah, true. Okay, Jenny, I'm going to do some dancing because I love to dance. Yeah. Yeah. But there is like so much people want to know about the last like 20 years. Yeah. What's it going to be called?

Don't know. That's a stupid name. Rit me, baby, one more time. Toxic would be, I mean, toxic. Toxic. Toxic, right? Yes, it would. Britney Spears, toxic.

Britney Spears, yes. I'm fizzed. I want to know. Because if you watch her in interviews from like her, I mean, I don't want to say her prime because I think her prime is yet to come. But if you watch interviews from like the early 2000s, she is very well spoken.

She's incredibly well spoken, very opinionated, very strong in the way that she speaks. If you watch her on Instagram now, yeah, there's a sort of a strangeness about the way that she speaks. So I'm looking like it's like filtered because of this conservatorship she's had for ages and they've just warped her brain. So I'm looking forward to seeing how dark she goes on all of it and how much

we learn about it all. It sounds like she's had a harrowing life. She's not actually writing it though. I'm not gonna read it. I'll wait for your highlights package. It sounds like it might be a little bit dumb. I'm

sure that she will have some support in writing it. Yeah. Like, just speak to someone and they do all the typing and stuff. Yeah, absolutely. Or if you could get a ghostwriter to tell you who would it be. A ghostwriter. I want to learn about who would write your book.

Stephen King. Yeah. He's going to add some twists. Yeah. And at the end, we haven't even been here. We're all dead. I know. Which is famously how life ends.

Your autobiography is a horror novel. Yeah. Right. Well, it'll get sales. Makes sense. Who would you get? I don't really know. Are you JK Rowling?

Canceled. Tells a good story, though. Tells a good, yeah. Oh, she spins a bloody good yarn. Tells a good story, though. Oh, I'm going to keep it local. I'll go for a New Zealand author. Okay.

Margaret Mayhew. Yep. Yeah, okay, done. Yeah, I'd go Margaret Mayhew. Yeah. You can do the book launch at the playground down the slide. That sounds perfect to me. Lovely.

Bottle of cook and sherry and we're away. Who would you have as your ghostwriter? I'd like to speak on behalf of myself. I'd write it myself. I absolutely would. Nothing I love more. You don't even know the right there there. Yes, I do.

What about Eric Hill? Who did Spot? And each page can have a flap to lift up. You can see what's under Hayley's flaps. Hayley's flaps. Lift them up and peek inside. Perfect. Great autobiography.

Eric, if you're available, I'm interested. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Sat up on the couch last eve Hi twas Hi twas You were on the couch last night Have you been watching Downton Abbey or something Why are you trying to speak posh

You said shant before I always say shant And I know it's I shouldn't But I shant be told How I shant and sh told. But I shan't be told. How I shan't and shan't not now, now, speaketh. So sitting on the couch last night and in mid-conversation

with my wife. Yep. You might have met her. Sade's her name. You guys have met her. I'm just trying to familiarise myself with the listeners. My name is Vaughan and I'm married to Sade and I have two children, Indiana and August Both girls, 10 and 8 respectively

Well, 7, but she's rounding up, so why can't I? So, sitting on the couch last night next to my wife And mid-conversation she's like, oh, hold on And it's her ma, I see it, it says mum, NZ Which annoys me, I feel like everybody should be saved in the phone as their name Oh, do you not put? No, I think I've got mum as Bev. Yeah, Bev.

But then I've got mum and dad home for the home line. Just mum. Mum. I've only got one mum. You know, but you should have first and last name for the address book. You can put them where they work and put mum. Put mum in there. So it says Patsy Sproul and then if it comes up, mum.

Yeah. It's not like I'm going to forget which. So it says Patsy Sproul and then it comes up mum. Yeah. It's not like I'm going to forget which role in my life Patsy Sproul. No, I'm just more of a formal phone organiser. It's not in your phone. It's not formal enough. Aaron is Aaron Courtesy. He's not a cute name or anything like that. Mum.

Mum. No, change that immediately. Oh, it's got the face. But there's no last name there. Mum Sproul. Mum Sproul. Couldn't you change it to Patsy Mum? In brackets.

In speech marks. I refuse. And Dad is dead. So it says Mum NZ FaceTime. Okay. And this happens a bit because she's got dogs, so she FaceTimes so the kids can see these little dogs. Yeah.

And she's like, oh, hold that thought. Better answer this. And she's like, oh, hold that thought. Better answer this. And answers it. And we just kind of get this, for a start, I kind of looked and then just ignored it and went back to watching TV. Yeah. But I was immediately like, what's happened there? What are we seeing here?

And she's like, hey, Rob's. Robbins, my mother-in-law's name. Hey, Rob's. No reply. my mother-in-law's name. Hey, Robs. No reply. Oh. But we can hear water running. Has she had a fall? Oh, dear.

Doing the dishes, has she had a fall? Yeah. Well, they're that age where they can have a fall. Yeah. Yeah, you don't fall over. You start having a fall. And she might have fallen and dialed my daughter. Yeah.

And so we then call the authorities or whatever. I mean, cut out the middle person. Call the ambulance. No, because if you call the ambulance, you might not get all the information out. No, but they've got tracing. That's time wasted. Whereas we can call and give them all the information they need.

Right. Immediately. It's not who wants to be a millionaire. Call the ambulance. So I'm like, it's been a fall. Robs. Nothing. Water running.

Yeah. Robs. And then you hear, Shada, is that you? What? Where are you? And the phone. And she picks up and she's like, oh. And I'm not looking at the stage.

She's like, oh, did you call me? Shudder's like, no, you called me. She's like, well, I can't have called you. I'm just hopping into the shower. And she was nude. She was nude. So if she'd put her phone down differently, she obviously put her phone down and bumped it when she put it down.

Yeah, right. Started the FaceTime. But if she'd like chucked it like that. Propped it up or something. Propped it down. Yeah, right. Started the FaceTime. But if she'd like chucked it like that. Propped it up or something. Propped it up. Yeah. You would have seen it all. I may have seen.

Her baps. The baps and the flaps. Who knows? It might have been a whole situation. The baps and the flaps. Well, I'm just super glad it didn't happen. How very close. I'm assuming you've never seen your mother-in-law

in the nude before. I haven't. And I shan't. No, I shan't. I hear the non-desire. That is like my worst, I'm just, I feel like that's going to happen to me one day.

I'm constantly pocket dialing people. I rung an Instagram follower the other day by accident. Oh yeah, the old accidental video call. And then you're like, you just hear like, and I'm like, what is happening? And you're like, I'm calling this person. Yeah.

What if I'm baps out? It was a real wake-up call. I'll tell you that. It was a real wake-up call. Just be careful. Who was the last person you saw nude that wasn't? I saw a woman nude at the weekend. It wasn't my wife.

It was a complete accident. I was going for a lovely Sunday morning swim to kind of like blow out the cobwebs and freshen up. And I was at Enclosure Bay on Waiheke Island, a beautiful spot. If you can pop over there for a swim, one of the best places to swim in New Zealand in my humble opinion. Okay. Mind you, I was in a very good mood all weekend, so maybe it was slightly warped.

But I was sitting, enjoying the sun, just like looking at the view. I was like, oh, this is gorgeous. And then I heard, ah, and kind of like, ah, like you hear when someone's off balance. Yeah. I turn around like as a bit of a, are you okay? And there was a woman who had been getting changed against her car with like a towel wrapped around her and she had fallen over

and she was just arse and legs in the sky. I saw the whole southern hemisphere. Wow. You know when you can rotate Google Earth and have a look at Antarctica? Yes. And you're like, unusual. I've never seen it from that angle before.

I saw the South Pole. I saw the Ross Shelf. And I saw Scott Bass. Wow. I saw the whole. Everything. I tell you Scott Bass. Wow. I saw the whole. Everything. I tell you what, that was a hell of a 40th birthday drink. I was like, are you just like.

And it just like. You stared it right in the eye. I can still see it if I shut my eyes. It's like I looked at someone welding. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play. ZM's.

ZM's. Add2Cart. But all Hayley. Play ZM's. ZM's Add to Cart. But all this week, our listeners are choosing Add to Cart, the different items that we put into our virtual shopping cart. We tell you the items at 8 o'clock, at 11, 2 and 4, and if you're the first caller through this afternoon at 5, you win all of them. Yeah, today's listener is Rhiannon from Auckland. So I imagine it'll be very poncy.

Apple AirPods. Oh. Told you it was going to be fancy. Is she from the North Shore? I can only imagine. She's probably got a chimney like you. Shrug me into that. It is a versatile vehicle though.

Whatever we do for everybody. It's a white shore girl vehicle. Oh my God, hopefully she drives it faster than Vaughan. I followed him home yesterday. I was close to tooting. Look, really? Yeah, honestly. You called the Jiminy the cruisy Susie,

and I think that's a beautiful nickname for it because it doesn't love to speed. Do they not go over 100? I believe we own cars to get to a destination faster than if we were walking. I was like, bae. Yeah, Hayley was there behind me, and then she put we were walking. I was like, bam! Yeah, Hayley was there behind me, and then she put it up alongside me.

I waved. She ripped the fingers. And then she went, what I was imagining, a conservative guess, 135 kilometres an hour. That is not true. She went like this.

And she screamed something about family. Right, yeah. Real Fast and the Furious vibes. But why were you, was Vaughn hogging the left lane? Dude, he was in the right lane. He was in the fast lane. No, I was in the middle lane. You were in the fast lane in the 80k bit before it turns to 100.

I was going 80k, it's an 80k. No one goes 80 there. There was a police officer. I know there was a police officer. You were at 80, either there was a police officer. You were damn lucky I was holding you up heavy foot or you would have got a ticket. He's so slow, honestly.

Okay, well. I would have got home, I reckon. We live nine minutes apart. I would have got home about 30 minutes before him. It's the cruisy Susie, baby. All right, four past eight next on the show. We want to delve into when your parents

keep in touch with your exes. I'm going to talk to producer Anya now who went out with a friend yesterday for coffee and got news. The friend felt this was shocking news. I don't know how you felt about it. Were you shocked? I was a little shocked.

You were a little shocked? Because what did your friend tell you? My friend revealed that her mum is in trouble because she continues to like and comment on Facebook photos and also send well wishes on birthdays to my friend's ex, despite the fact that they broke up nearly nine years ago. Oh, that's too long. Let it go, mum. Let it go.

He was a good Christian boy, though. If Mum's persisted for nine years, she's not going to stop. Does she not like the new partner? Adores the new partner, but just likes to have a good circle of friends, I think. Mum's just friendly. What do you think? She's just doing that thing where she thinks you have to say nice things to people on Facebook and comment on birthdays.

It's better than sharing misinformation, isn't it? Yeah. At least she's doing that as well. Yeah, true. This has never happened to me because I haven't really had boyfriends. I had like one boyfriend when I was a teenager, or maybe two, maybe three. She didn't like any of them? Well, they were just teenagers, you know?

Yeah, right. And then when that was over, she didn't really keep of them? Well, they were just teenagers, you know? Yeah, right. And then when that was over, she didn't really keep in touch with them. I do feel like if Aaron and I separated, Mum would still need his services, you know? Some gardening help and that and the likes. I'm not so interested in services. You never know. Where my mind went. I mean, if he's single, you never know.

But if that happened, would you feel the need to put a rule in place, like don't contact him? Yeah, I guess it depends. Is your friend still friendly with the ex, or is it sour? Not sour, but just like everyone's moved on. We're all on good terms, but I don't think they chat. And it's been eight or nine years later, you move on. This happened to my cousin as well he um my auntie went and had lunch with his ex like on the rig after they broke up yeah was arnie trying to get in there i don't

think so she just really liked it so like you're not using them at all yeah weirdos well i guess you can't stop people being friends with people. They were gal pals. They were gal pals. They got on just because, you know, the son ended it with her. It doesn't mean the mother should have to if they've been gal pals. You always wonder that, like, if you're with someone and you become your partner's sibling's kid's auntie. You know, like, I'm Auntie Hayley to Aaron's sibling's children. Gotcha.

And if I was to leave, do they lose an auntie? Or am I still the auntie? Yeah, they do. Gone. No presents, no Christmas. Yeah, cut them off. I'm out. Whatever happened to Auntie Hayley?

We don't speak her name. She died. She's dead. No, but you do. You have those friendships and relationships. Well, you become part of someone's family. That's the strange part. It's like, yes, you've left the partner,

but are you still part of this family? Do I still get an invite to Christmas? Am I still on the secret Santa roster? Well, no. I wouldn't imagine so. No. I don't think so. The new girlfriend's not going to,

I mean, Aaron's not going to be single for a while. Wait, how quickly has he replaced me? Instantly. Really? Yeah. Jesus. The first date he went on, he's like, is this what it's supposed to be like?, instantly. Really? Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Well, he just, like, the first date he went on, he's like, is this what it's supposed to be like?

And immediately... Oh, this is great. My Aaron's sister just messaged and said, nah, we keep you in the divorce. Oh, I got that. And they get rid of Aaron. Jesus. I bring a lot to the table. Thanks, T.

We want to hear from you this morning. 0800 DARS at Emerson number. You can text as well, 9696. Do your parents still keep in touch with your ex? Well, we want to know if your parents keep in touch with your

ex. And does this annoy you? Or are you like, that's cute, he was a nice guy, just not the one for me. That's so growing up. There's so many messages. I don't feel bad about my exes. I still feel I'm still really close with my first ever boyfriend's mother. She's actually my landlord too and my neighbour.

Oh, yeah. So that's good. You get on with the landlord and if she's like, you know, getting your bond back, you're like, well, I've seen your son's. Yeah. You can keep your damn bond. It was worth every cent Sort of

You know Carry on But then your ex-mother-in-law Like has to sort of See you bringing home New partners You know what I mean So when this person

Yes I get you Just sneak them in While they're watching the chase So Dorothy Dorothy rings Michael And she's like Michael

Sally's Brought another boy home Oh my god Yeah it's like bloody Central Station. No wonder she broke up with you. You don't have the energy to keep up with this one. Yeah, she got a thirst you couldn't quench. Yeah.

You were a drop of water and she needed a bucket. She needed an actual bucket. This girl is insatiable. Now, how's your love life, darling? Dry as a bone Good, good, good, good, good Just how you like it My ex's family still talked to me on the odd occasion

I moved to New Zealand to be with her Then she cheated on me And left me still living with her dad and sister Oh wow, okay So, you know, there was a bit of a bond there Yeah, right God, he was living with her family Yeah, and she dragged him from overseas

Not dragged him, he came. Yeah. Willingly. But he moved here from overseas. Wow. Yikes. That's a whole thing, isn't it? Still friends with the family. Yeah. She sounds like a bit of a... Anonymous, good morning. You keep in touch

with an ex? Yes. My daughter's ex-fiancé. Oh, okay. What are the circumstances surrounding their split? They split up, but it's since come to light that he cheated on my daughter. Oh, and your current fiancé?

What? With his current fiancé. I? With his current fiancé. I'm glad it's worked out for him. So you still came in touch with him or you don't anymore? Oh no, we still do. Yeah, we all hang out. But my daughter absolutely does not like the whole idea. I bet she doesn't. You know what, Mum? I can kind of see why.

What do you see in him that wants you to keep being his friend? Oh boy, he helps out Hubby with the race car. What do you see in him that wants you to keep being his friend? Oh, boy, he helps out Hubby with the race car. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, there's a skill. Free labour. Oh, yeah. His mechanics are expensive. Brilliant.

Anonymous six-year call. Jordan, you stay in touch with an ex? Yeah, well, it's a bit of a story. So I went out with this guy when I was younger. We were teenagers. Yeah. We split up and I kept in touch with his whole family and his mum kept in touch with me.

He hated it at the time, but me and his mum ended up going out for lunch and I was telling her how I was going on a night out that weekend and she thought, oh, I'll give him a call and invite him out on your girls' night. And I was like, okay, didn't think that he would actually come. He ended up coming, and we have actually been together ever since and recently got engaged. Oh! So, mum's do know best.

Mum's definitely know best. So, she's just like, this is the end. She rekindled you. I can tell that it shouldn't have ended. This was silly teenagers. Wow. And now they're getting back, and I'm going to get them back together. It's actually worked.

It did, yeah. Wow. That's a happy story. That's a happy story. I want to know, Jordan, why did you break up in the first place? Jordan, why did you break up in the first place? We were just young.

Oh, okay. So no one really did anything? You maybe just like didn't quite. Nothing really happened. We were just teenagers. Right, right, right. All right, Jordan, thanks for your call. Nothing really happened. We were just teenagers. Right, right, right. All right, Jordan, thanks for your call. Emily, Emily.

Hi. Your parents are besties with sister's ex. Yeah. So he's literally like part of our furniture. Grabbed their house at all times. So they broke up probably like two years ago now. He's met like my sister's other boyfriends that she's had. time. So they broke up probably like two years ago now. Okay. He's met my sister's other boyfriends that she's had. He's got a

girlfriend who's not fond of my sister. I can see why. We're not fond of her. What does your sister make of him still being so present in your family? They're like best friends. Oh, that's cute. They see each other

and they get along really well and just like... I'm going to say it. I think they should be together. Yeah.

I think they should be together. But we won't get into that. We think they should still be together. If him and the girlfriend break up

and she doesn't have a boyfriend, I kind of hope they do. I think we need to sabotage the new relationship. You calling the radio station is

putting the new girlfriend at absolutely zero ease by the way relationship. You calling the radio station is putting the new girlfriend at absolutely zero ease, by the way. You just said the whole family thinks they should get back together. I think they should get back together too. It's got some real Reese Witherspoon down home. It does. You know, sweet home Alabama-esque vibe to it.

She won't be able to beat you. It's fine. Oh, good, good. Now you're calling her lazy? When does Emily and her crazy family get off? We've got to get her out It's fine. Now you're calling her lazy? When does Emily and her crazy family get off? We've got to get her out of the house. We've got to get these people back together. Emily, thanks. You called some messages

that absolutely slammed on the text machine. Oh my god. My husband's family came in touch with his ex. My sister-in-law invited her to their wedding. This was like six years after they'd broken up. So they just kind of like stagnated. Right.

I still keep in touch with my ex's family. They love me. We were together for nearly 12 years. I was more sad to lose them in the separation than her, if I'm totally honest. That sound like good people. My daughter's ex is my lawyer, who also knows the full details of my will and what she gets.

Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. That's what the daughter would be. Do you keep it a secret from your children what they're getting? I don't know. Yeah, most of the time. Don't you? A little surprise.

Just like split it up evenly. Because you don't want your kids using it as leverage when they need to put you in a home. Yeah, exactly. Right. It's never too late to be written out of a will if you put me in a shit home. Put me in a good one and maybe we can get you a little something extra. There's going to be nothing left.

My mother-in-law keeps in touch with both my partner's ex-girlfriends. My mother-in-law keeps in touch with... Oh, yeah. Okay, so this is from outside. Okay. Both my partner's ex-girlfriends, both of which cheated on him

and she often fondly talks about them in front of me. Oh. Definitely gets to me sometimes, but I know she likes me too, but I just wish she wouldn't talk about the cheating. Sounds like she likes everyone, you know? She sounds very likeable, doesn't she? Maybe likes you a little less.

Yeah. Yeah. But thanks for texting in. Do you reckon as they were writing the text, they're like, oh, now that I'm writing it down, it's a bit. It's really landing. Yeah.

I separated from my kid's dad. I've been separated for five years now. His niece and nephew still call me auntie. I was with him for nine years.

Still have a strong relationship with his mum. She's constantly telling me how much, telling the kids what a good mum I am. That's nice. Oh, that's good.

That's nice. She doesn't have to do that. And she'll tell the kids that she misses me I am. That's nice. That's good. That's nice. She doesn't have to do that. And she'll tell the kids that she misses me. Oh, that's nice. Well, I mean, don't bring them into the emotional side of it. It's the good emotion, though. It's not like blackmailing emotion. Whereas his father wants nothing.

Their father wants nothing to do with me. Okay. That was a rollercoaster ride. It really was. It was a lot. Yeah. Yeah, lots of people. There's a rollercoaster ride. It really was, yeah. It was a lot. Yeah, lots of people. There's certainly no shortage of it. Well, you spend so long with someone,

you make a bond with people, don't you? We're also a very small country. It's quite hard to avoid people for very long. Especially if it's a big family in a small town. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the liking gap. The liking gap, L-I-K-I-N-G, liking the verb of like. It's the verb.

Yes. I'm listening and I'm liking. You're liking what you're hearing. I am. Well, the liking gap in conversations is a study that has been printed in the Psychological Science Journal. Okay. Got to be legit then. Erica, Gus, Jillian, and a whole lot of other authors all contributed to it but it is about the gap

between how you believe people like you and how that person liked you in initial conversations the liking gap, so you meet someone you're having a chat, and if at the end of it you're like they really liked me, chances are they didn't really like you

if you finish it and you're like, I don't think that person liked me, they're more likely to like you. Really? Yeah. So if you end really confident with that person really liked you, they're not going to like you as much as you believe. In fact, they might dislike you, but it's far more likely.

If you end it and you're like, I don't think that person liked me, they are going to be far closer to your same level of like. Is this a New Zealand research? Because New Zealanders hate confident people. You know? Yes. So if you leave the, you know, if someone is confident that they think they like you, that you like them, yeah, you're not going to like them as much because you're like confident.

Cockiness. Arrogant prick. Who does that person think he is? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they studied at all matter of people meeting for the first time. College students, when they met their new roommate, so they often share a room at college,

and the initial conversation, and then afterwards they're like, what did you think they thought of you? I think they really liked me. Not as much as you believe. Because they're going to have to spend a whole year in the same room as you. Did they tell them afterwards? No, they didn't like you. They didn't like you. And then they're going to have to spend a whole year in the same room as you. Did they tell them afterwards? No, they didn't like you.

They didn't like you. And then they left them for three years of university. It's not that they didn't like them, but it never measured up to what that person believed. Right. That's the gap. The liking gap. That's the liking gap.

Huh. And if you don't believe someone liked you, their results showed they actually liked you better than you thought. Huh. So don't be. But then, so what's the perfect answer? Not having an opinion on, I know what the perfect answer is. Never meet anyone new.

Ah, yes. Loophole. Great. I'll continue with the same people I've known for a very long time. So today's fact of the day is, oh, you heard me just talking about it. No, I'd like a summary. I want a recap, please. I want a recap.

Today's fact of the day is... The levels of CBF today are very high. Honestly. Are very high. Today's fact of the day is the liking gap is the identified... Gap. Is the identified difference between how you think people liked you versus how they actually liked you.

Great summary. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Join in studio by producer Jared Who's brought in his phone with an app on it Called Thrupple No No It's called Coupler C-. No. Oh my God, I know that. No. It's called Coupler.

C-U-P-L-A. Coupler. Because I spelt Coupler like couple with an R on the end. That didn't work. That's nothing. I took the E out. That didn't work. Yeah.

Well, if you make an app, you've got to drop vowels. Yeah. So Coupler, C-U-P-L-A. Now, you found this. It was just a targeted ad. Yeah. It was on my Instagram. Right.

And I was was like this looks like a tinder or a bumble so i downloaded it um but it's a bit different because it's for when once you're already in the relationship right so it's an app that couples use to organized uh dates so it's like a calendar syncing. Yeah, so you can add your calendar and then you can like, I can see what the middie's got on her calendar for the day. So I know couples that have shared like their Google Doc calendars.

So they can be like, just in case they're going to organise a night out, they can see that there's already a night out planned with other friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what we need because I'm constantly saying, I told you about that, and she's like, you never mentioned it.

And I'm like, I did, I did. But I'm the more useless of the two, so it's easier to believe her, you see. Who's the more useless out of you two in terms of remembering plans? 100% me. You. Yeah. So this is good for you. Yeah, because, like, she can put in, these are my work hours for the week,

and then it'll pop up being like, yeah, you can do a date. You know, you'll be on dinner if she's working late. Yep, exactly. What else can you do? Because at the moment this sounds pretty boring. It sounds like it's just a conversation you can have before. Yeah, yeah.

And you can also share your calendars anyway. You can share your iCals and make a feed. Or you leave a note on the fridge. Yeah, exactly. Old school. Yeah, I mean, I guess you could do it the old-fashioned way, but this has date hints. Ooh.

So if the middie's feeling a movie night but doesn't want to pressure me into a movie night, she could be like, movie night. It hints. Yep. Have you thought about maybe talking to each other? Nah it's just so awkward Face to face

I don't like saying anything to anybody I don't need this because I'm quite lucky Aaron doesn't have anything On his calendar So I'm always like This is what we're doing Just to make sure it's locked in Four or five times I'll say

Did you hear me? Are you listening? Do you remember? He just does what he's told. Can you repeat it back to me? What are we doing on Friday? And then we're good. That's our coupler. Right, okay.

That sounds stressful. Yeah. I thought this was like, I know you can do those quizzes on, you know, you do like an online quiz or something and you answer lots of questions about your preferences, maybe in the boudoir or things you want to like express to each other. And then they get sent to you, to your partner,

and then you can discuss it. Like to start the conversation with them. To start the conversation, yeah. Is there stuff like that? Is there stuff for sexy times? You can schedule it, I guess. Yeah, I mean, if it's in my calendar, she knows. Right.

So romantic. Does it have a category? Does it have titles for it? Or can you? Well, kind of. So you can do like, if you're looking to dine out, you can click the dine out button and it'll give you a few options to choose from.

Yeah, right. Weekly events, date nights at home, activities, movie nights. That's good. Booking a bit of time. Don't plan anything nights I've got nothing for a little bit of time I've got something I want to do here Nothing for the scheduled humps though I don't have a title for it Is that the new flavour pineapple lumps?

Yeah The Fiji lumps, now you've got scheduled humps What does it taste like? Bitterness and duty? Sweat, duty Swe sweat, duty and shame. Sweat, duty, shame, not romantic. So you've been using this a week or two and you're loving it. Big fan.

You and the mini. Yeah, I think the best feature is you can set like date goals. So you can be like, I want to have one date a week or one date a fortnight. That's nice. And then basically she said one date a week and now I get in the morning. I thought you meant date goals as in like an outcome, a desired outcome at the end of your goal. I want to smooch.

At the end of your date. End of this date. I'd like a bit of tongue. Yeah, I'd like a little bit of tongue and some positive affirmations. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley nine minutes away from nine What?

I leaned on the whoopee cushion as you were talking and it just was it was just perfect How many weeks have we had this whoopee cushion? Like a month and every

every single day It's funny Yeah It shouldn't be, should it? But it is like a month. And every... Every single day. It's funny. Yeah. It shouldn't be, should it? But it is. It is, yeah. It's one of those ones where you're like,

oh, I'm going to lean on my chair and just get that out of the way. Instead of talking about what we were going to talk about, let's just do a series of farts. Farts and laughs. How much time do we have to fill before we go home for the day? Warren, put the whoopee cushion down, please. Big, soupy one. To farts. Farts and laughs. How much time do we have to fill before we go home for the day? Born. Put the whoopee cushion down, please. Big soupy one. That's after you've had soup, that one.

Soup make you a bit fluffy? Yeah. Soup? Might be the bread because I always have a lovely fresh time. Or the onion. It's because your stomach is like, hey, I was here to digest this and I see it's already in liquid form. What do you want me to do?

Hey, you don't do the food what I do to the food. You can't leave me with nothing to do. Well, it's your job now, intestine. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This girl almost straight through me to the small one. Anti-colon toots. That's just a cute little lesson on the digestive system. Put that one in your back pocket.

Last night we were watching Dog Squad. It's about a squad of dogs doing all different things. They've got the police dogs. I love Dog Squad. Is this a reality show? It's New Zealand. It's New Zealand Dog Squad. Have you ever watched it?

Oh, it's so good. I don't watch linear TV. It's a great show. Ew! Only watch Neon So we're watching Dog Squad There was one last night It found kiwis And then there was a cute photo

Of the kiwis And then there was one In a mail centre Sniffing out A succulents It had found Somebody tried to sneak Plants into the country

But they weren't like drugs Or anything It was just like this Rare succulent Why would you go to all that effort? At least if you're going to put your jail time on the line, import drugs or something. That's out of King's Plant Bun.

Everything you need. Yeah, they've got lots of succulents. And the succulent had bugs on it. And the dog would smelt like the whole situation. Wow, okay. So there was the Kiwi dog, that guy, the drug guy. Sometimes there's a dog outside of prison sniffing visitors. There's dogs that can sniff COVID, eh?

Yeah. They've trained sniffy dogs. God, they'd be having a field day at the moment. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this one's real bad.

Yeah. This guy's got both Omicron and Delta. Oh, dear. He's got both of them. And Adora August said, if I was a sniffer dog, because every time they sniff a package, even they take it away and somebody else looks at it, the dog gets to play with its toy or a little treat.

She's like, if I was that sniffer dog, I'd just be sniffing and pouring it every package. I said, you wouldn't be on the production line for long. You'd be put out to pasture or given to a caring family. And Sade said, well, if I was a sniffer dog, I'd smell the rain. Because she's a longtime believer in the fact she can smell when the rain's coming. And I know that is a thing. Some people can smell.

Moisture in the air. Is it the moisture? No, she's just looking outside and seeing grey clouds. No, because we have all do that. We have one of those days where rain comes from nowhere. And if we are outside, she's like, it's going to rain soon. Our cat can sense the rain. If a cat lays down and licks behind its, cleans behind its ears, it means it's going to rain. That's not a thing.

It is a thing. Why are they cleaning their ears for the rain? Because their ears get all, rain's coming. Oh, so you think it's like a reaction. No, they don't. I'll tell you what, next time Rolly does it, I'm going to video it and then look out the window and it'll be raining. Yeah, because I can smell squished ants.

What? It's not a very, and that was the other thing about it. Sade and I decided we're going to do it. Well, I decided she wasn't on board, but she'll be on board. Yeah. We're going to invent a new raft of superheroes that have just like the most pointless powers. Right.

Yours is sniffing squished ants. Right. Why do they have to specifically be squished? I don't know. I think taste of ants have been on something, but then that's also because ants are all over the thing, so they don't tend to leave

until it's all gone. But you know when you like, someone goes, I always squish the ants. If there's like ants all over the bench, I'll go around on a wild squishing spray and then I'll...

And before I do it, I'm always like, yeah, you want to live? You came from ice crabs, did you, boy? Some people can smell ants. Only some. And then you can smell.

I can smell it on my hands for a while. They typically smell of formic acid, which kind of smells chemically. Is that what you smell, like a chemical? Yeah. I don't know how to describe it, but you can just, it's certainly got a very particular odour. Oh. Squished ants.

I can smell when someone's farted. That's your superpower. Somebody else just messaged in squished ants stink. I didn't know none of my family can smell them. Someone said can you smell someone else messaged in can you smell mice? Yes.

You can smell when a rat you can smell when you're near like a rat because it smells real dry and arid and like slightly acidic-y smell. I bought Aaron this taxidermy mouse. It was on a candlestick. Why? Well, I don't know.

He likes taxidermy. But anyway, it made our cat freak out. So I put it in this cupboard miles away, and my cat would come in and be like... It's still there. Oh, he's still got that. Absolutely smell out. Unless he thought it was about to rain.

No, that's behind the ears. That's behind the ears, right. That's behind the ears. Somebody said this is how I found out I had diabetes. My urine smelled sweet. Because that was a fact of the day. Remember, they used to do the test to see that... Yeah?

They get sugar. They go wee-wees, and then if the ants liked it, it's because of the excess sugar in it I can't smell I don't think I can smell anything You might have COVID I can't smell a single thing

Or taste How's that dry scratchy throat? Itchy I can smell We can all smell sweat and sour sauce. That's not... Unless they... That's not a good machine.

Cool. Sneezes? I can always... Someone is way too close if you can smell their sneeze, but sneezes, stew. This is not a cool retrospective thing. We can all smell things retrospectively. Yeah.

We're talking about if you can preemptively smell something. Well, maybe they can preemptively smell a sweet and sour. Preemptively go like, I think we're going to have sweet and sour pork for dinner tonight.