ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 23rd March 2022

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Cat Names  Drinking Study  Top 6: Spy  Noodle News!  Community Notices  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's. We've got a lot to do after the show today. And I want to get it done quickly because I'm off to another appointment with Dr. Wynne, the acupuncturist. And you recommended Dr. Wynne to me, Vaughan.

And I have to say I'm feeling pretty smug today because my pain is still there. It came back. Oh, no. He'll take care of that. He'll absolutely take care of my leg tingles. But when I went there, you said, oh, tell him I sent you. And then I got there, if you recall, and I said, oh, he said, what do you do? And I said, I work in radio.

My co-host Vaughn sent me here. He recommended. And he was like, oh, yeah. And I was like, you know Vaughn? He wears a cap. He's got a beard. He had a bad back. No.

No recollection. No recollection whatsoever. Ouch. Yeah. That's what I'll say to that. Yeah, I know. No recollection No recollection whatsoever Ouch Yeah That's what I'll say to that Yeah I know And then yesterday I was thinking in my head

I need to get a book And to see Dr. Wynn again Because my leg tingles are back And then Dr. Wynn Text me And I was like Oh what's this And he said

He knew He texted me He just knew He knew the tingles were back Yeah What did he say How the tingles He did eventually

He said Thanks for your recommendation. How is your leg tingling? And I was like, what? And I said, oh, I recommended him to a friend. And she went and said, Hayley sent me. And he apparently raved. And my friend texted me and said, Dr. Wynn's a huge fan. So he didn't even know who you were.

Of what? Your leg tingles? Of me as a person. How am I not Dr. Wynne's favourite person? You wouldn't have been able to get the recommendation should I have not recommended Dr. Wynne to you in the first place. It's not about the recommendation. It's what you do once you're there.

Did you charm him? I think you're very unremarkable in person is what I'm picking up from this. I was just there to chill. What did you do? Put on a sort of a one-person vagina monologues or something? No, I didn't. What can I do? I on a sort of a one-person vagina monologues or something? No, we didn't. What can I do? I didn't put on a vagina monologues at all.

I just chatted to him about my leg tingles, lay on the bed, he put the cups on my knee, and then... I do more than that. I'm just a charismatic gal, and you're not. I asked him about the flowchart. He said... The pinny, pinny flowchart. What are they called?

Acupuncture flowchart. Yeah. About the foot and stuff. I can see now why he doesn't like you. I tuned out halfway through that. This was, because I was trying to be genuine. Look at this text exchange. We're mates. Back and forth. How's your leg tingling? Oh, I'm going to book online for another

session. It's come back. I think you're talking to Dr. Wynne's daughter. Thank you. See you soon. I think you're talking to Dr. Wynne's daughter. Your friend Justine, we're talking about you. Big fans. I think you're talking to Dr. Wynne's daughter. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think you're talking to Dr. Wynne's daughter. I think you're talking to Dr. Wynne's daughter. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think you're talking to Dr. Wynne. Your friend Justine came to see me yesterday.

Dr. Wynne is the only... That is his practice. This is not his daughter, the receptionist. This is Dr. Wynne. It's Dr. Wynne. Anyway, I'm seeing him. So you booked in, you're seeing him later today. I am.

Well, I actually booked for 10 a.m. and then I remembered that we are doing a lot of work after the show today. So I just texted him. I didn't have to hop back online. We're mates now. I just texted him. I said, can we change to 11? He said, yeah, mate.

I'll see you then. Oh, damn it. I've got to get me back in for Dr. Wynne. I might just go for a relaxing round of acupuncture. He doesn't know who you are, mate. He doesn't know who you are. Hell no. You'll get there and he'll give you a new patient form.

The biggest slap in the face possible. Is it your first time? Dr. Wynne! It's me, it's Vaughn. It's your little Vaughny boy. Remember I had the shingles, the gross, gross shingles? And then the bad back?

No. Dr. Wynne. If you want to really connect with him, you say I work with Hayley. Oh! Hayley! Big fat. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Rachel.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. My last day of isolation. Yeah, I was going to say, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get out? But you start work at 5am. Come to work. Yeah. For a while. Not that exciting, is it?

No. You going to go out for dinner or something? Yeah, I haven't really even thought about it, to be honest. Just that I won't, I'll be able to leave. Have you selected your long COVID? You watch a lot of TV. I don't know. Are you going to hit the gym?

You're going to get straight back into it? I went for a walk yesterday and I was like I think that might be a bit much I think you've got to definitely give it a few weeks They say you're meant to rest for a good couple of weeks after before you get into anything I can see your biceps melting off

I know Every missed day Oh well Coming up on the show, the top six See your biceps melting off. I know. Every missed day. Melting. Yeah. Oh, well. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six are signs that someone in your neighbourhood is definitely a spy. Yeah, we've got a spy in our midst.

Yeah. Well, no, they were in our midst. Oh, they're gone now, are they? Midst? What is the plural of midst? Midst. Midst. Middies. Middies.

They were in our middies. They were in our mitties. They were in our mitties. Yeah. I hope not. So it was a New Zealand citizen spying for foreign state. What foreign state? Who was it? Stephen was his name.

Stephen the spy. And he was very naughty. But no, I've got the top six signs you might be living by a spy. What's that? Do you want to say a toast? Oh, it's just a cup. The floor is yours. Take it away.

I've got nothing to say. Father of the bride wants to speak, everybody. Oh, beautiful girl. Secret sound is coming up, everybody. That's important enough. $50,000 is the jackpot I just had to check my day it's Wednesday

tomorrow we've got 100k Thursday yeah but $50,000 today the next shot at 7 and we'll do it again at 8 all thanks to Neon you've just got to identify

the secret sound if you get through we'll do that before the news at 7 coming up on the show, though, you best believe we're starting off the day with some cat news. I've got a little cat study

that looks at how we name our pets and what it makes people think of us. You know, one of my favourite, I'm a big Curb Your Enthusiasm fan. Oh, it's a great show. Great show. Phenomenal show. One of my favourite episodes is when he has to walk the dog Angel Muffin.

Do you remember this episode? And he just cannot call the dog Angel Muffin. He thinks it's like the stupidest name. And he won't even call it out loud because he's so embarrassed until he has to yell out Angel Muffin. Can I just say, if you haven't seen Coober Enthusiasm, Neon, streaming now. Neon.

Sponsors of The Secret Sound. One of the best shows on there, I reckon. Yeah, it is. That's the episode where he's trying to get someone to play young Lowry, right? Yes. Yeah. Whose dog is that?

It's someone that he pisses off and he has to make it. Pretty much everybody that he ever does anything for on that show is somebody's is to make it right great show uh well i'm i'm connecting that to this study that's been done in america that has shown that six in ten sixty percent of people admit to judging other people based on the names they give their pets as larry david did in curb your enthusiasm with Muffin. I definitely do this if it's like, I don't like human names on pets. Oh, this is awkward. Murray.

Yeah. My cat's called Murray. With a military title. Yeah, but Major Murray is quite cute where it's still very cute. Whereas like, if your cat was called Chris, I'd find it particularly odd very cute. Whereas like, if your cat was called Chris, I'd find it particularly odd. Yeah.

But what if it was like Christopher Cat Lumbus? Yeah, see, that's cute. Oh, that's cute. That's cute. You'd probably call it Christy or something. Yeah.

When people are like, John. John the cat. John. Yeah. But then also some pets are named by like four-year-olds and that's when you get an angel muffin or, you know, a sausage mountain.

Yes. What do you know? Sausage mountain. Jeez, you naming cats after, like, your dreams. I just want to be climbing a sausage mountain. That's what I want to be doing. I'll tell you what, it was an absolute sausage mountain this weekend. That's right, isn't it?

Don't you speak about my tittles like that. No, I won't. Okay. But in fact, 28% of people that responded to this survey do name their pets something delicious, like Meatball or Biscuit. Or Sausage Mountain. Or Sausage Mountain. Yes.

36% of people gave their four-legged friends human names Which is just not on Jessica, Kevin I know a dog called Kevin That's alright Jenny I was just trying to think What if you had to name your cat after

And then I was just thinking of random humans in your life What if you had to name your cat The same first name as your high school principal? Pete. Pete? Pete Pointon. Pete would be your cat? Yeah.

Do you remember your high school principal? No. Like, what? No, not really. I had two. My first year of high school was Dick. Oh, yeah. And John.

Dick and John. Dick and John. Dick and John, okay. I found two cats that had to be named after my... Yeah. Or Graham was my primary school principal. Graham's quite a good cat's name. Graham's a good little cat name.

Yeah, not a bad little cat name. 32% of people don't get that original. They just go for like a Fluffy or I had a Ruffy as a kid. You had a Ruffy? Yeah, it was orange. An orange Ruffy. Orange Ruffy. Gotcha.

Fido? Fido? Fido? Fido. Fido, yeah. Traditionally a dog's name, isn a dog's name Yeah that's a doggy name A lot of people doing after pop culture icons A lot of Ziggy's Bowie's which are actually becoming kid names now I know a Bowie And I know a Ziggy actually

You know a child called Ziggy Yeah I do I named it, okay I don't want to talk about it because he's dead. He was named Anakin after Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars because we got him just after the final in the prequels.

The Revenge of the Sith. I was on a hard Star Wars buzz, but I'd do it again if I got a cat. 37% of people fictional characters. Yeah. But everyone's judging them on it. Interesting names, books, inspiration. A lot of people want pet names to stand out.

My cat's Rolly. That's sort of a bit boring. Named Roliston. After the street where Aaron and I first met. Yeah. Not the prison. Not the prison. You met met in prison

When I was younger Wasn't he No I was out of prison At that point You were The female wing of Rolleston Yeah yeah yeah Right

We called it Rolly He was the big sexy security guard Yeah And then I was like Did he bust you out Yeah I like slipped him Like little coins and stuff And I was like

And then you murdered Hayley Sproul And stole her identity Yeah I was like Get a girl a cigarette or two Would you big stuff And then you know He'd come in And he her identity. Yeah, I was like, get a girl a cigarette or two, would you, big stuff? And then, you know, he'd come in and he'd wash my laundry. He's like, yeah, you can't get cigarettes for nothing.

Yeah. What's in this for me? Let's get out of this joint. And that's the story of how Aaron and I met. Wow, it's hot. Yeah, wow, it's touching. It's cute. I liked how he had that real, like, 30s New York vibe going on.

Yeah, see? She's a good-looking broad. I'm probably going to get you out of this prison. There's got to be something for that bird guy. Sound like number nine. 12 past six next on the show. A really cute thing out of the UK ahead of Mother's Day, which don't panic, it's still ages away.

Don't panic, don't panic. But they just want to let you know they're doing it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Just getting my background sorted. I just forgot to open the Zoom call. I'm not missing much on the Zoom. Oh, I'm excited to have you back in the office, Fletch, but I also have been enjoying the Zooms.

We've had a lot of fun with the Zoom backgrounds. We've heard Zoom running the entire time. Is that how we were brought? You're coming into the studio via Zoom? Yeah, I'm actually brought, the microphone's plugged into Zoom. Not bad. We're living in the studio via zoom yeah I'm actually brought the microphones plugged into zoom

we're living in the future I know you wouldn't see that on skype would you because on

the way to work I was listening to the highlights of yesterday's show that play pre-show

very vain I was cracking up we're a bunch of we're a bunch of gass we're a

couple of gass no no no because my phone is being repaired, so I couldn't do my normal thing of not listening to the radio. Whoops, what? I always listen to the radio.

It is a media that I find both thrilling and exciting and connects with people daily. Right. It certainly does for years. Thank you for welcoming us into wherever you are today. Your car, your home, your shower, the shed. If we're on your shower radio, that's us just having a peek down at your jennies. You look great.

Yeah, that's pretty good. You look good. Keep it as high. We're definitely checking out the jennies. Yeah, just having a little peek at the jennies. There they are. I see them. Juggling around.

Juggling around. Give us a helicopter. Yeah. Not a bad helicopter. Pretty good helicopter. Yeah, more of a gyrocopter this time of the day. Give that a bit of a warm up. Okay.

So from talking about your journeys, we now want to talk about your mum, which isn't that big a leap. In the UK, Morrison's is like a cafe. Yes. What do you call it? There's lots of them. Strain. Strain.

Strain? Sorry, I'm in pandemic language. It's a new strain of cafe. It's a chain cafe. And they've announced that this Mother's Day, which I believe is this Sunday in the UK. They have a different Mother's Day, but the same Father's Day? Yeah, because our Mother's Day is the 8th of May.

Well, not always. It's the firstth of May. Well, not always. It's the first weekend of May. Don't pretend you knew. Don't pretend you knew. I knew. You were frantically googling. I knew off the top of my head. Absolutely frantically.

Well, what's your mum's name then? See, I told you. You can't even remember your mum's name. So there's no way you remembered Mother's Day. Just give me a second. Yeah. Are you messaging her? She'll be in contacts. Yeah, here it is.

Bev? Yeah, that's her. That's her mum's name. Lovely lady. Yeah, Beverly. Deserves far better than the two sons God gave her. So Morrisons have launched a pocket money menu where you can take, obviously this has got to be kids. You can't rock in as

an adult with your elderly mother and be like, I want to buy my mummy a wunch. Got £2.50. Yeah. So every item on the menu is no more than 99p. Oh. Oh, that's pretty cute. Some of that, you can go tea, coffee,

tea cakes, crumpets. So, I mean, they're not doing a full English. They're not doing a full English. You're not getting any hollandaise for 99p. You're not getting any Hollandays for 90 a day. You're not getting any Hollandays-based breakfast deals. But it's still pretty cute that kids can go in. So the kids can turn up and take their mum out for a break. Yeah, and five pounds should get them a bloody decent, you know, decent breakfast with a coffee.

I often think I don't want kids and then I hear stuff like this and I'm pregnant, you know what I mean? It just, I feel pregnant suddenly. But also now you're going to need to spend a whole lot of money to go to the UK. Yeah. With the kids. Yeah, New Zealand would never do this. And while they're small enough to take advantage of the Morrison's menu,

they're probably also going to be a pain in the ass on a flight that long. Oh, my God. Let me put you off. He's such a brat. Let me put you off, children, again, by reminding you what they're like on planes. Yes. When they're not your responsibility. Oh.

Now what they are when they are your responsibility. Okay, I'm good. It was a false alarm. False alarm. Not pregnant. She's back. Did you just take an ECP just in case? I just want to make sure.

Yeah, no, no, no. Fair enough, fair enough. I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. Can't be too safe. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So there's some data, some research out of Australia about their drinking habits.

There is like a little paragraph at the end of this saying that despite the worries about lockdown and the fact that so many Australians were locked down, there wasn't any increased booze drinking. What? What were they doing? So, yeah, compared to drinking during COVID to the 12 months prior, two-thirds reported that they drank about the same. Maybe they were just going full tip before, you know, so they couldn't amp it up because otherwise they'd just be absolutely pickled. Yeah.

Well, this study, the main finding out of it is basically that young Australians, Australians aged 18 to 24, are less likely to drink than their parents, than older Australians. I think they call them Auslets. Auslets. The small Australians are Auslets. The small Australians.

Auslets, yeah. So the Bureau, the data showed one in 10 young adults aged 18 to 24 exceeded two drinks a day. So that's only one in 10 young adults aged 18 to 24 exceeded two drinks a day. So that's only one in 10, 10%, compared with just over one in five adults, 55 to 64. Yeah, the boomers, they love it. And they reckon that the binge drinking culture is on the way out with younger people.

I've noticed this in New Zealand as well. Like when I think about myself as a teenager and the antics we'd get up to and, you know, hoon and a goon most Friday nights. And you don't see it now. They're all into like gaming. Oh, Vaughn's dead. What's that mean? I was just rebooting.

Oh, Vaughn went into a little bit of a... Got comfy eyes. I was still listening. I was taking it all on. That's the face I do when Sade's like, you're not listening to me. But I'm still absolutely taking it all on board. Okay, what did she just say then? She said most Friday nights when she was a teen,

she would hoon a goon, and she's not seeing it in teenagers as much these days. They're doing things like ha-ha-ha gaming. It's not that you're not listening anymore. It's that you're not engaging. Okay, well, no, but I'm just letting you talk. What do you want from me? Do you want logical solution,

or do you want me to just tell you? I want a sign that you're listening. You just want me to tell you what you want to hear. What you want to hear. Do you want me to just tell you what you want to hear, or do you want a solution to this problem? I just want to hear what I want a sign that you're listening. You just want me to tell you what you want to hear. What you want to hear. Do you want me to just tell you what you want to hear or do you want a solution to this problem? I just want you to want to be engaged. I am engaging right now.

There's no higher point of engaging than a thrilling argument. Don't even worry about it. It was all coming in. Don't even worry about it. What do you want from me? Do you want a solution or do you want a resolution? I want you to want it. I do want it.

That's why I was just letting it wash over me. Fine. I was soaking in it. No, it's fine. All good. Is it fine? Yeah, it's fine. It feels like it's not fine now.

That's an argument. And that's how the arguments happen. You can tell we've both had that argument a lot with different people. It was like a script we both knew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did, yeah, you did. I love that. What do you want as a response?

Logic or a solution? I hate that. It's not what I want. I want you to want to respond. Yeah, well, okay, okay. No one wants to respond. Hey, hey, hey, you two. You stay out of this.

Go to your room, Fletch. Okay. I am in my room. Shut the door. I've definitely noticed with friends who have younger sisters or kids even, they're not partying like I used to party. But is that just because you're not seeing that? Because now you've grown up and you're, you know, you're doing

your adult life? I can swing out. I can still keep up with the young kids. I'm still getting invited to the cool parties. Should we go to the social media desk? The social media desk is making bagels in the kitchen right now. Are they? Unbelievable. Jared is out there all alone. The girls are flitted off because that's

what they're doing. They're not flitting off to get, have a drink. They're flitted off to make a bagel and play games. Jared. Gents, carbohydrates. I mean, Jared's young. We could talk to Jared. Jared doesn't drink as much. You don't that I did at his age. No, I maybe have a beer

every month or two, if that. Month or two? Yeah, I don't drink barely ever. Oh, I thought you were going to say each night and I was like, nah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't drink barely ever. Oh, I thought you were going to say each night and I was like, nah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm more of a gamer. Is that a code? I noticed young people playing

board games, computer games, hanging out so innocently. Are most of your friends like this, Jarrod? No. My friends are tradies. They're on the piss every night. They have a beer for breakfast Yeah

They earned it Yeah it is interesting Wow okay Maybe there's just more to do Like when I was young You know Maybe there wasn't as much to do So you just

No there was definitely a lot to do Yeah I don't know I just I don't know It's just different times Different times Also booze is so expensive now Booze is expensive I don't know. I just didn't. It's just different times. Different times. Also, booze is so expensive now.

Booze is expensive. And especially this. They've grown up in the times where media can't hype up booze. Booze used to sponsor sports, for crying out loud. You used to be impossible to watch the rugby league. When I was a kid, it was impossible to watch it without being told cigarettes and booze were the key to being a great rugby league player. Absolutely. And Formula One, all of the high profile

sports used to be sponsored by booze. I just don't think booze is as cool. Yeah. And the cost of it. I used to borrow 20 bucks from my parents for a night out and they would get me out. Yeah. Slizzard. Slizzard. And home. 20 bucks. Thatizzard. Slizzard. And home. 20 bucks.

That's all it took. From the sophisticated ZN Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. There's new reports from the country's intelligence agencies. And while the top six might be a bit of a hee hee ho hum ha ha of all things going to play. That's exactly what the top six says. This read is actually like quite really interesting and quite serious.

Yeah, you were reading out some of the info of your research. Yeah, this article. So the New Zealand Security Intelligence Service were monitoring a New Zealand citizen who they said is almost certainly collecting intelligence for a foreign state. And they, because their 2021 annual reports from the government agencies were, as they put, quietly released on Monday. And they have some details about what they've been

looking into. Tons of extremism. They said extremism's on the rise and given the amount of extremist content that people can easily access on the internet, they said it's not all that surprising. No any given time 40 to 50 people are under active investigation in relation to violent extremism so that's like those people are being monitored and they said most of it is um they get led to people by uh what they post. So if you're going to post some wackadoodle extremism craziness online,

then prepare for the government agencies to be putting you on their list of people they watch. Yes. Wow. What, like stuff comments or herald comments on Facebook? It just says online. I mean, those are public forums, so absolutely. But even if they're on your social media. Yeah, they can get to your more private ones as well.

Wow. You're a spy agency, damn it. And I mean, rightly so. If you're posting some hate-filled extremism online and you're going to be deemed a worry to the country, why shouldn't they be keeping an eye on you? Putting you on a list. Yeah, put you on the list.

But crazy to think that there's a spy. There was a spy. And have they gone now? Have they gone? No, they talk about them in a present tense. Okay. Who is? New Zealand's security intelligence service has been monitoring a New Zealand citizen

who is almost certainly collecting intelligence for a foreign state. Present tense. Which one is it? Do you think it would be China? Or Russia? What do they need to know though? Yeah, just from like walking around. I don't know.

You know what I mean? I deny. Living amongst Kiwi. I don't even know what you'd need to know. So the top six signs someone you know is totally a spy. Number six on the list. They read a newspaper. With holes in it? Yeah, well if they've got holes in it, they're totally a spy. Number six on the list. They read a newspaper. With holes in it?

Yeah, well, if they've got holes in it, they're definitely a spy. But even if they have the newspaper up and occasionally they peek over the top, you got yourself a spy.

Hang on. Well, every morning before you arrive, for one, Fletch sits in the studio and he reads the newspaper. Yeah, but my... From cover to cover.

Yeah, no, but the newspaper's flat on the desk. I'm not hiding behind it. I'm not spying. That's what a spy would say. I'm just reading. You're a new age spy.

It's too obviously spy-like. Do we even have any proof that you had COVID? Or are you on a secret mission overseas? Yeah, I could be anywhere right now. To assassinate the leader of a foreign country. He's changed his background in Zoom, so we don't actually know where he is. He's like, oh, I'm doing a fun background.

Can we get an IP trace? Can we? We'll get it organised. Our number five on the list of the top six signs someone is totally a spy. They have a single device that can make calls, take photos, listen to audio, record video, and it's small and they carry it around on themselves.

Vaughan, I'm freaking out a bit because Carl Fletcher comes into work every morning and he has one of these. You all have one of these. I don't. I smashed mine. Yeah. Same. Yeah, she just threw hers on the floor.

I don't have one either. You're the only one out of the three of us, Fletch. I'm a spy. You are a spy. Oh my god. Number four on the list of that has one of these. I'm a spy. You are a spy. Oh, my God. Number four on the list of the top six on someone who's totally a spy, they wear a big hat, a long coat, and sunglasses all the time, regardless of the weather. I don't want to.

You can't get me there. You can't get me there because I don't have a long coat. He wears a hat literally every day. He does. He does. A long coat. Does he have a long coat? Probably. No. He does. A long coat. Does he have a long coat? Probably.

No. He probably has a long coat. He's such a pervert. It's hard to tell what he wants. I thought it was for flashing. But if it's for spying,

that's totally changed my whole perspective. Flash some runners. Carry on, please. Number three on the list. I don't think this one lines up with him either. Number three on the list

of the top six signs somebody's totally a spy. Their car is a plumber's van. He's off the hook. He's off the hook. Yes. His scooter definitely isn't a plumbing van.

No. No, no, no. The purple, what brand do you ride in? The Beam scooter he rides to work every morning, not a plumber's van. Do you think all those spy,

like, you know, in TV shows and movies where they send a plumber's van, do you think they, like, make a fake website or, like, have the number in the yellow pages for the fake plumber's van. Do you think they make a fake website or have the number in the yellow pages for the fake

plumber? Taps are us. Because you'd just look out the window and Google the plumber, wouldn't you? Yeah, I always see sort of trade vans going past and I go, oh, I need a window guy. I'll take that number. But see, I would just go with an existing plumber's. I'd just make a van for an existing

plumber. Like a laser electrical franchise. They're never going to know. Auckland Plumbers Group. I was just going to pluck a plumber out of thin air. Mr Plumber. Euro Plumber. But then you don't want plumbers being targeted by gangs because

they think you've been stalking their house. Imagine that. Plumbers have lead pipes though. They'll be fine to look after themselves. And a cork will say they smell like poos. No one's, you know. Don't you just go and say every plumber smells like poos? Plumbers smell like poos. Very hygienic.

Some do. Some do. Boys and girls. Number two on the list of the top six signs somebody is totally a spy. Their wife wears a 1950s housewife outfit with an apron at all times and walks down the house path to wave them off every morning. Is she in on it? She's in on it.

Okay. She's definitely in on it. She knows kung fu. Yes. Definitely knows kung fu. She has to take off the pinny to do the kung fu, though. And number one on the list of the top six signs somebody is totally a spy, magnifying glass.

A dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. I think that'sifying glass. They always have a magnifying glass. Dead giveaway. I think that's a detective. They always have a magnifying glass. Spy as well. It's because they're spying. A lot of detectives really hope to one day be a spy and get the better magnifying glass. It's the next level.

It's the next sort of ranking. AI is absolutely the next step up. It goes cop, detective, spy. Correct. And magnifying glasses for everybody. But bigger and better magnifying glasses for the spies. That is today's top six. Bad news, my dudes.

The price of instant noodles, the once reliable, cheap, tummy-filling, complex carbohydrate, not much else, with a little bit of MSG sprinkled on top. You know what I'm talking about. The old favourite. The price is going up. What were they? They used to be like not a dollar when I was at uni. I think you could even get those five packs if you got them on special.

You know, the row of them all tied together. That might have been a Maggi, Miga Ring. Let's talk about some other instant noodles. Indermay. I'm just on, so I'm on the Countdown website. Indermay, you get a five pack for $4. Yeah.

A five pack for $4. That's pretty good. That's pretty good stuff. Your Maggi two minute instant noodles is $3.70 for five. What? Also, we're not a country that was too precious about them being in a cup. No. No.

As Americans, they don't do them like we do them. They have to buy them in the bowl. They peel the lid off and it's already in a cup. Yeah. Yeah. So those. Cup the cup. Yeah. Yeah. So those. Cup of noodles. Yeah.

Cup of noodles ranging from like $1.50 to $1.80 online. Right. That's not bad. Well, the price is going to go up though, unfortunately, and it's all thanks to Russia invading the Ukraine. As both Yasha, Russia and the Ukraine are in the top five exporters of wheat. And of course, these noodles are wheat.

They're not rice noodles. They're wheat noodles. Yeah. What else is this going to impact? Wheat. Everything I love is wheat. I don't know how much wheat we get from Ukraine and Russia,

but they're saying a lot of the poorer countries, it's going to lead to like famines and it's bad news. Oh my God. This war, yeah. Oh, jeez louise. This war, yeah. Australia, apparently even over COVID, the price of instant noodles went up 15 to 20%

across all brands in Australia. They were massive when I was at uni, the Meagle Ring. What's the brand? You know, the white one with the, the only brand, Meagle Ring. Yeah. They're still the go-to, yeah, 100%. The red one, this one. Still in the loading picture, that one.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've never been into instant noodles, really, because when I was about six or seven years old, I have a distinct memory of we had two-minute noodles and orange juice for dinner, and then I remember how it tasted when it was coming back up.

You vombed up. Yeah, I remember like in the middle of the night going and it was so acidic. Yeah, orange juice is a very acidic spirit. Out the back like they hadn't digested it. But did you not like live on these after school?

No, remember I famously had platters after school. She'd arrive home to a Patsy Sprout platter. That's right, Patsy would make a fruit platter. A Patsy platter would make a fruit nut sort of snack-based platter. Yeah, right. But, I mean, all my friends had them, for sure, but I just think that memory of vomiting them back up is burned to my brain. See, we were a tinned spaghetti family.

We did more like tins of spaghetti rather than noodles. Packets. We had our fair share but I could never get them right. I also could never get the noodle right. Too soggy, too watery. Too soggy, too hard.

Where do I put the flavour in? I actually really feel like a packer. Where does I put the flavour in? I actually really feel like a packer. Where does everybody put the flavour in? Last. Yeah, once you've drained them, right? Yeah, once you drain, because otherwise you're draining flavour. Wait a minute, Ben, who's pushing the buttons, he's rolling his eyes. Do you... I would put the flavour in when I'm

with the water and stuff to get all the flavour within the water to soak in the noodles. But then do you leave the water in and eat them like a ramen, like a soup, like a noodle soup? No, no, no, I drain the water out. Well, you're just draining flavour away. You're draining the flavour away. No, the flavour goes into the noodles. Mate, MSG doesn't grow on trees.

No. I actually don't know where MSG grows. It might grow on trees. When it produces both, at what stage of the noodle making do you add, this would be a great silly little poll. Yeah. This would be a great silly little poll. Because the other thing is, the other thing I remember,

you'd boil the water off. You'd just boil the water out of the noodles so the flavour would stay, but you've evaporated the water and you've made a soggy noodle. No, how long are you leaving it on the boil? Oh, like a long time. No, you've got to drain the noodles. Sorry, and then they're soggy and yum. No, you can just pour boiling water onto them, can't you?

Yeah, you pour the boiling water on, you leave it for a couple of minutes, two minutes, that's why it's called two- minute noodles, then you drain that and then you add the flavour. That's my way of doing it. You would have Jesus, you just would have had it sitting on the stove all afternoon. Gross, you're wrong there. You're not making rice the old fashioned way. Producer's booth, where do

you add the flavour? Carwin? Drain the water, add the flavour. Yeah, thank you. Drain the water, add the flavour carwin drain the water add the flavor yeah thank you flavor yeah drain the water drain the water the flavor jp um flavor in with the water leave the water in i don't drain anything sorry so you eat it like a ramen i don't like two minute noodles i have ramen so uh are they very similar crack an egg on the top no i don't don't like eggs. Oh. You don't like eggs? Here's a weird one.

I just don't know how, as a group, we get on. Do you know what I mean? I don't know how, as a group, we can all... Well, no, if anything, we're the United Nations of Opinions, and we're proving that you can live peacefully with people who have a differing opinion to you. I would understand a noodle war more than I would understand a religious war.

Yes. Because you all believe in something, don't you? It's just a different something. Whereas noodles, you do a stark difference. Yeah. So you're talking in absolutes. Now that's how wars start. There's a right and a wrong.

For example, Jared and Ben are wrong. Do it the wrong. Yeah. Okay, and you do it the right way. So we're bombing them? Yes. Is that what we're doing? I think Hayley's right.

Have I just started a war? Yep. All right, it's on. Ben, let's go. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. You know, it's hard out there in the employment industry. It's hard out there to get a job, keep a job,

you know, businesses shutting down. I try as I might can't get fired from this place. How I would love a severance package. I've been helping out. Every time you've done something terrible, I've gone straight to HR. I know. And they just keep going, yeah, well, that's him.

I'm like, just fire me. He's a good laugh, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, you know, he's just having a laugh. I went down to the car park and he was in the back of my car completely nude. Yeah, but he's just having a bit of fun with you. It was probably content. It was probably content. Was he filming it for the

TikTok? Because we need that. He didn't post it anywhere though. And then they say to me, did you post it anywhere? I'm like, no, because she wasn't being funny about it. Yeah, she got all like, get out of my car. She was screaming. Well, a woman shared on TikTok how she got a new job at Ulta Beauty,

which is a big cosmetics company in the States. Like Ulta as in Ulta your appearance? As in U-L-T-A. Oh, okay. Yeah, Ulta. Ulta your appearance because you're not pretty enough as it is. Slaps the makeup on. Yeah, the only choice for you is to Ulta your appearance drastically.

I don't know if that's why they got the name. So she got a new job. She was like, here we go. Went to work for the first day. Come her first, the middle of her first shift, she quit.

Instantly. She was like, I'm out. I hate this. And the reason behind her very rapid quitting was she did a vibe check. Okay.

Yeah, she did a vibe check and the vibes, they weren't good. I'm all for a vibe check because your vibe attracts your tribe. Win the morning, win the day. Exactly. Thank you. Insert other phrases here that boss babes and momtrepreneurs love.

Her vibe check, the info she got from her vibe check, she was like, hang on, vibe check. Was it the vibes she said were, quote, atrocious? Not good vibes. Not good vibes, man. Okay. Yeah, she was like, I'm out of here.

I did a vibe check and the vibes were atrocious. Have a bad vibe in the morning, you caught a bad vibe. Oh, sorry. Bad vibe in the morning, shepherds warning. Bad vibe in the morning, you caught a bad vibe. Bad vibes all day, you're the bad vibe. You're the bad vibe. You're the bad vibe.

Yeah. Well, a lot of people came on and were like, what was the vibe check? And she said, look, nobody introduced themselves to me. And then people kind of did a pile on and were like, did you introduce yourself to anyone? Yeah, you're the new, okay, who does that fall on? The world doesn't revolve around you. Yeah.

You know, a lot of people are shy. I would say management are at fault because management should be like, hi, everybody, staff meeting. And everyone collectively, oh, stuff meeting. This is Patricia. She's new here.

She does nails. Tell us a couple of things about yourself, Patricia. Patricia's like, I do nails and I do vibe checks. And I do vibe checks and I'm telling you right now they're atrocious. I getting some bad vibes what is your guys what's your vibe check on my vibe check well on tiktok apparently this uh company alter uh they call it alter slander there's a lot of people who've gone on employees that have gone on and said like the vibe's bad oh so she wasn't wrong with her vibe check yeah just a few things like people getting reduced hours for silly reasons

or multiple warnings for their ridiculous, too stringent dress code and that kind of stuff. So maybe she did do a vibe check and it's a bad company. But other people were coming on and being like, no, it's a great company. You're just sort of a strange person. Right. So we wanted to ask you, why did you quit on day one? Did you do a vibe check?

Does it have to be employment or maybe somebody joined a new gym and they ran a quick vibe check on the gym? Yeah, sure. Actually, this isn't the gym for me. I'm quitting. Although maybe you should try a free trial before you sign up for 24 months. Yeah, that's on you. To a gym.

Yeah. You can always do a one-week trial. Yeah. Yeah. So what, just anything? a gym. That's on you. You can always do a one-week trial. Yeah. Yeah. So what, just anything? When did you quit anything on day one? When did you quit? What did you give up on immediately and why?

Maybe it was your duty as an auntie or an uncle. You met this little kid, this nephew, this nibbling. You're like, no. This nibbling of yours and you're like, no. I'm not vibing with this baby at all. I'll check in at two. I'll check in again at four. A woman shared her experience of quitting on day one on TikTok.

She got a job at a beauty company and then about halfway through the day, she did a vibe check and the vibes were atrocious so she quit. Should you not do a vibe check when they offer you the job? No, but you could have... She was vibing the other people she was working with, who you only get to meet once you have the job, right? Right, yeah. Yeah, you don't get to meet them all.

So she had an issue with the fact that, like, no one was introducing themselves to her. So, yeah, she called the vibe atrocious. Vaughn and I, did we get to do a vibe check when we first met? I think we started. You were wedged together, weren't you? Not really. Yeah.

Yeah, like an arranged marriage. Yeah. And I have to say, coming into this partnership, the vibes are atrocious. Yeah, it's, oh, we pride ourselves on our bad vibes. How many years? 17 years or something like that? Yeah. It'll be 18 years in like a week and a half.

18 years. He always forget and a half. 18 years. He always forgets too. Always. I always remember. You guys have like an 18-year-old... Kid. Kid together. Yeah.

Called this radio show. Called Radio Baby. Yeah, it's Radio Baby. No, good vibes only. Good vibes only. If we'd had a kid, if we'd had a one-night stand when we first met and a baby had been the result of it, that baby would be in its last year of high school. It'd be going to uni.

It'd be making... What do you think it'd be studying? Nah, it'd be a dropout. It wouldn't be going to uni. Hey, Major Murray. No, but it'd be a successful dropout. It'd be like a dropout that's, you know, just waiting to really find its feet.

Yeah, it's in prison. Don't please not talk about our fictitious child. Yeah. So we asked you when did you quit on day one. We've got Kelly. So we asked you, when did you quit on day one? We've got Kelly on the phone. Kelly, why did you quit on day one? Hello? Hello.

Hi, Kelly. Hi. Tell us the story. Why did you quit on day one? Well, now thinking back to it, it was probably the bad vibe scenario. You did a vibe check. Yeah. You did a vibe check.

Yeah. I did a vibe check, but it was kind of weird because I was on my OA and I really needed a job and it was out of two roles and one was Kelly Services and I was like, ah, that's probably not quite cool because, you know, my name's Kelly. And people might be a little presumptuous about the services. Well, yeah, yeah.

Good point. But then I went to this mobile phone one, and it was just, yeah, bad vibes. So what happened? You turned up on your first day, got to work, got your uniform on, and then when did the vibes turn sour? Pretty much straight away. Pretty much straight away. Pretty much straight away. Are you the problem, Kelly, do you think?

Yeah, give us an example because I'm not hearing any tangible bad vibes here. Well, no, there was two other guys working there and they just kind of sat. They had their big coats on because I was in Edinburgh. They had their big coats on. They were just sitting there, heads down.

And I was just in, you know, looking for a good time, wanting to meet some people. And they just were kind of like... When it came to the end of your first shift, what happened? You just quit? I just kind of went, yeah, bye, guys. You met someone, though.

I heard a baby in the background there. Oh, yes, I've got two babies. Two babies. Yes. You met someone in the end then. All the way out there in Canberra with their warm coats. Kelly, thanks for your call. Let's go to the producer's booth because Executive Intern Anya

quit something on day one. What did you quit? Surf Lifesaving. Was it the hats? Or the speedos? Honestly, it was the whole thing. And mum was so mad because she'd bought

all of the bits and bobs. Oh, you never buy your kids any, get them to borrow some equipment until they actually are like three weeks in, otherwise they'll quit just after you buy it. That's a rule.

Oh, absolutely. There's a drum kit still sitting at my parents' house. Just sitting there. So you turned up to save some lives, which was like very heroic of you. Thank you. And then I realised that you don't actually even save lives. You just do a lot of like press-ups and like running.

You do that thing where you lie face down in the sand and you've got to get up and turn around and run down the other end and dive for the stick. Yeah, I'm not good at getting up at pace. Yeah, right. I'm a slow roller sort of like get up to the knees.

Yeah, and it all goes like ooh. Even as like a seven-year-old. Did you get to go on the big wooden boat that they all row where they go up over the waves?

We did those like paddle boards that aren't really paddle boards sort of situations. Oh yeah, kneel on the paddle. When do they let you go on the inflatable

orange rubber ducky thing? Not on day one. Oh, yeah, kneel on the bed. Yeah, did a bit of that. When do they let you go on the inflatable orange rubber ducky thing? Not on day one. Oh, two. Oh, boo. Yeah. So you got to the end of your first day. Yeah. And then what?

I looked mum dead in the eyes and I said, I'm not doing this again. You were out. Were you heavily zinked? No, but I probably should have been with this pasty complexion. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just thinking to myself, I have to be dead careful if I'm going to be out in the sun. I'm not built for it. I'm not built for Summer Bay.

No. More of a caster bay. Murray's Bay. You were a surf lifesaver that saved, what was the total of lives you saved? Still nought. Zero. Nought. Zero lives saved.

Nought. Okay. Some messages in. I quit a girls, all girls private boarding school on the first day of third form. Mum found me back home hiding in my bedroom. I just did a vibe check. Too many fob chains and homespun jerseys. I love a fob chain.

Now, I had to Google what a fob chain was because I thought that's what you call it when you've got like a, you scan a... Swipe card. A swipe card is a fob chain. A fob chain's like a little tea bar. Yeah, so I looked up the history of the fob chain and it was traditionally to

hold like a pocket watch to clothing. And then when men went to war, they'd leave it behind and their womans back home would wear their mosses, would wear their fob chain as a sort of a my man's at war. Oh wow. Yeah. And then when he

came home. She's like, you're not getting this back. No, my god, I'm getting so many compliments from the fob chain. So now they just make them without the watches with no intention to ever hold the weight of a watch. I'm guessing the homespun jersey and the fob chain thing is that it was a bit poncy. Because it's a very elegant necklace. And they're not cheap.

Is it? Are they not? It's just a bar. But is it pure gold? Made of pure gold. Glitch, fawn and hay leash community notices.

Hello and welcome to community notices. Welcome to community notices. This is a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages.

Thank you for sending in the weird and wonderful things that you see. Yeah, some absolute beauties. Someone sent this in. This was a funeral notice. This was posted on a local Facebook page saying, I'd love to know the story here. Sadly, Glenys Patricia Takahi passed away. And the funeral notice says, Attention, read me. Glenys Giggs Patricia Takahi passed away. And the community notice says, attention. The funeral notice says, attention, read me.

Glenis Giggs, Patricia Takahi. I will start to my kids. Kia, goodbye. Catherine, we'll miss you and love you always. Caroline, you're skating on thin ice. You be careful. Davis, awesome, my boy. I'm free now.

Love you. stay where you are life is what you make it and Woody Woody Aha thank you always what did Caroline do

what did Caroline do you're skating on thin ice so obviously this is mum to them I think so and she knew that she was going to pass

so she's written her own what do you call it yeah obituary sort of like funeral notice. Obituary of sorts. Yeah. What a way to go out is just list everyone you know

and then something about them. What was the first one? Just goodbye. Kia was just goodbye. That's the one I feel Kia just got goodbye. Catherine, we'll miss you and love you always. Caroline, you're skating on thin ice. You be careful.

See, I think I'd rather be Caroline than Kia. You know what I mean? Yeah, me too, because Caroline's getting more words than Kia. More clarity about what her mother means, whereas Kia, it's just like, what do you mean goodbye? Woody Aja got thank you always, so that's like thank you from a mum. That's nice. And Davis, awesome my boy. I'm free now. Love you. Stay where you are.

Life is what you make it. What an inspirational Absolutely the favourite. Kia, I just think the oft-forgot oldest child. But Caroline, I'll say it again. You're skating on thin ice. Black sheep. You be bloody careful. This one from the Takapuna Milford and then it cuts off.

I'm assuming it's North Shore of Auckland page. Karen writes. Oh, this is going to be good. Anyone else annoyed at the 5.35am pop-up gym in the Bruce Mason car park? I lost my bloody temper at them this morning. Who can I contact to complain? The council will send a noise control officer,

but he arrives at 8.30 well after the fact. I've gone by then. I suggested to the trainer that he go somewhere like Fred Thomas Drive where there are no neighbours around. I believe they're at one of the nearby beaches annoying the neighbours there before they were moved on. Total lack of consideration. Takapuna is far too built

up for this sort of thing at that time of the morning. People gotta get fit, Karen. Yeah, but that word annoy if you were like... Yeah, 5.30. You know what these bloody public fitness people are like? Yeah, they're putting a little UE boom which in the quiet of the morning is cranking even harder than normal. This is the rhythm of the night.

Give me four. Give me three. Give me two. Give me one. Bit of that. Too much. I'm on Karen's side, I think. Wow, you're a Karen.

I am a Karen. I've sided with the Karens. I've sided with the Karens. From Karen on the North Shore to Lisa at the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton. They want to separate themselves from Christchurch down there in New Brighton. Yes. They've cut themselves loose. And she writes, does anyone know these lovely people? The male pictured shimmied up a pole

in the early hours of this morning and stole my Arlo camera off a building site in New Brighton and now I'm watching them talking about selling it. They are completely unaware it has been recording them the whole time. Oh no! And the police have been notified she includes three very close-up photos

of the screencaps of longer videos of this male individual as well as his female cohort. I mean, knowing the Arlo camera, when you steal a camera and it doesn't have a wire attached to it, would your first thought not be like, this must be a wireless camera? Yeah, and it must still be running. Uploading to a cloud. Dude doesn't look like a scientist.

I'm not going to say. He already picked up this camera and he's like, what? Easy. Man, this was easy. I've got a camera now. Don't know how it works. I'm going to take it down to cashies. Cash computers are like, no thank you. In fact, you were never here. Leave. Ta-ta. Goodbye.

But yeah, I'd love to know if there was any resolution. If you are a member of the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton Facebook page, let us know where that got to. To the Onihanga Royal Oak Wanchere Hill Community Group, Monique writes, this is an appreciation post. To the clown that stole my Karcher vacuum out of my car parked on my lawn, to you I say thank you.

Because you saved me the daunting job of having to take it to the tip because I was told that thing will never work again and it costs an absolute fortune to fix. So jokes on you and thank you. That's nice to get a little thank you, isn't it? Yeah. That's good. A little thank you.

Saved yourself a tip, Brian. And finally, from the sell, buy, trade free and wanted Hamilton and Waikato New Zealand Sweet Pea Honey Rights offers for this collector's item. It's very old and currently 32 years past the use-by date. Original packaging and eight of the 12 left. These are Lifestyles form-fitting condoms purchased from Mobil for $9.90. Form-fitting.

Form-fitting condoms. Shaped to feel more. These are, as they said, 32 years past their use-by date. So 32 years ago, 1990, a pack of 12 condoms cost $10 from the server. That's a lot. I didn't expect to. That's a lot. Yeah.

What's that in your take into consideration inflation? Is that a $30 box of condoms? Too much. From the server? Is this something Te Papa could snap up? Oh, absolutely. Like the New Zealand section? Yeah, absolutely.

Good idea. It looks lovely. But again, not to be used. No. I tell you what, they've got a couple of real sexy 80s looking white folk on the front of that condoms pack too. They were selling condoms completely differently in 1990. Form fitting too. That's what you want.

It actually looks like 80s all black Terry Wright. Could be. On the cover. Were any all blacks endorsing condoms back in the day? Probably not because everybody wanted to get pregnant to an all black. Yeah. What an absolute, you know, stud of an offspring. You would have the next great All Black.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours, F-E-H-Z-M. This surprises me being, you know, that I, Vaughan Smith, big ally. Big ally. Huge. To everybody. Well, you know, just an ally to all.

You can't have ally without all. Yeah, you put the all into ally. I put the all into ally. That's exactly what I do. Sure. And then there's an I as well. So I put the I into ally as well. How are we spelling ally?

A-L-L-Y or A-L-L-I-E? Preferably because then that whole thing about. Like the name Allie. Yeah. Well, they both spell Allie. Yeah, they both do. Well, the jury's out on that one, but I prefer the one with the I in it

because then I can make it more about myself. Yes. And that's when someone touts themselves as an ally. It's probably more about themselves than it is about being an actual ally, but not in this case. Not with me. It's both. It's about women.

Women, despite the pay gap, are better savers than men, but don't do investing. We don't invest. Women aren't investors, aren't getting in and investing in stocks and different investments and such. I actually, I've never invested in anything other than myself, my body. That's important. And property.

But I started investing literally this week. I got sharesies. Oh yeah, go on. I haven't checked it. I've got sharesies as well, but I only have access to it on my phone, so I don't know the password. So I thought... I mean, this is...

You can tell I'm pretty serious about my investment. You could be a millionaire. It's not a lotto. No, no, no, I'm not. It's been bad. It's been bad lately because of Russia. What do you mean it's not? I curse the Russians every time I open that page.

Yeah, that's why you've got to... You can't freak out about your KiwiSaver. You just got to, you're in for the long haul. I also invest in KiwiSaver, probably in guns or something like that. I'm not sure. What would you draw the line at with your KiwiSaver investment? I don't have a line.

It gives me the most return. No, no ethical quandary of what your KiwiSaver is doing. Guns are a no. Yeah. Tobacco. What if it was the good guns? Oh, like a real cute bazooka or something. Like a pink bazooka. Yeah, pink bazookas.

A pink girl bazooka. What about like a cool gold gun? Okay, so what does this mean? So I put in $100 to play with in Sharesies. And Sharesies is like investing. You're talking like it's an online pokies game. I put it into the slot. Yeah.

I pulled the handle. Yeah. And I lost it all. So I put in some more. So I've put in, I've lost 0.1%. So I. Minimal. I think I put it so that it would put in $5 each week

or something like that. And I chose a... I actually chose an environmental sort of package that they had put together for me. And it was higher risk. So I have put in so far 0.85 cents and I've had a 0.25 negative return.

So this... So hang on, what's happening? My portfolio value is less than what it was. It's 84 cents. Yeah. What's happened? I don't know. Total return $0. What's happened? The day I know. Total return zero dollars. What's happened? The day I started my Sheezys account,

we'd talked to Chloe Swarbrick, and she was rattling around in my brain. So when I went to invest, I went heavy on the green. I went, literally, I actually invented it. I invested in a couple of New Zealand marijuana companies, and I was like, it's going to be payday when Big Daddy gets his legalized marijuana, and then that didn't happen.

Curses. Yes. But I've invested in like the green futures and stuff. Ally for the greens. Am I a sucker? I don't know. I don't even know how it works. Do you know what you don't want to do?

Don't do this. Don't join the Sharesies Facebook group. No, no, no. Because it's full of people asking these sorts of dumb questions and then full of heaps of condescending people who have made $5 in a week talking to you about how to retire on their Shazzy. Because I'm not here to engage.

I'm here to get rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I put $100 in. But why, if I put $100 in, is my portfolio worth $0.84? Something doesn't feel right here. And I've put it in a order, a pre-made order, a global order, a responsible order is what I put it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so every time the money goes in, it automatically invests. So it's got global. Look at the words I've got here. Responsibility, global, ethical. Yeah. Why is it worth 84 cents? Because those are losers words

on the stock exchange baby you want to invest in things that say things like cut throat no morals Gordon Gekko

greed is good what's happening where's my money I don't know it's been three days and I've got 84 cents do I withdraw now

it's the best time to get out of I'm going to say get out of the market play It's been three days and I've got 84 cents. Do I withdraw now? It's the best time to get out of the, I'm going to say get out of the market. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, blue lighting. It's a term that has been coined by a well-renowned couples therapist and a woman, Dr. Catherine Hurtlian. Thank you, Catherine Hurtlian.

Thank you, Catherine Hurtlian. Now this Hurtlian Thank you Catherine Hurtlian Now this is blue lighting It involves like you know I guess it comes from the blue light of screens I thought it was blue light discos Oh I love the blue light disco Like from your primary school days I never went to a blue light disco

It wasn't until I was like Oh shame I moved to Auckland to study And like we didn't go to a blue light disco But I saw a thing that said blue light disco I'm like what the hell is a blue light disco I was like, I moved to Auckland to study and we didn't go to a blue light disco but I saw a thing that said blue light disco and I'm like,

what the hell is a blue light disco? I was going to say, if you've come up to go to university and you're pissing around at a...

I was 18. Guys, I was the same age as them. Sure, I was at uni but they were some performers.

We were just having a blue light disco. Girls these days, they grow up so tall. Because why were they called blue light discos? Because the police organised them. Yeah, the police organised them. So they were, yeah.

That's what I learned when I moved to the Big Smoke. But no, nothing. With my moustache rocking in. But no, nothing. No, the blue light from screens is where the term comes from. And it's basically where someone in the relationship is having a one-sided conversation because their partner is interrupting them

with a meme or the group chat or a video game. Oh my God. So it's not just looking at a screen when you're being talked to, but even though I'm still listening, but my eyes don't need to be involved. Yeah. But actually going like, hey, look at this.

Like someone's in the middle of it and like, you know, it wasn't great. Oh, my God. Have you seen this meme? It's so funny. I was telling you that. That is funny, but I was having a bad day. But that is blue lighting. That's exactly what she says blue lighting is.

And it's a big problem. I am not. You get smack. You get in trouble. I'm not getting blue lit. There's no way. Aaron is not on any social media. I know.

He hates phones. He hates that kind of technology. Yeah, I had to save him in my phone, and I was like, I'll check on Facebook how he spells his last name. But then I couldn't, so I just had to have a guess. So if anybody's... He's got a Q in it, in my guess. It doesn't.

Quartesy. Yeah. Quartesy. Yeah. If anybody is blue lighting, it would be you, Hayley, when he's trying to talk to you. Yeah, I would be more a blue lighter. I'm the kind of person who loves watching TV

with a laptop on my lap and my phone in my hand. Ah, yeah. Wow. But also wanting to get into the nitty gritty of how we communicate. Yeah. We all live with a hypocrite. Yeah. So that's one thing she says is you've got to keep devices out of the bedroom

and set aside some phone-free, screen-free time. Oh, yeah, my one doesn't have a screen. Yeah, mine's screen-free. My device in the bedroom doesn't have a screen. But why would it have a screen? You don't want to be handed to have a screen, though. See how much battery's left. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reach a game. Maybe a map. Maybe it could have a map on it. A, yeah, yeah. Reach a game. Maybe a map. Maybe it could have a map on it. You know, like a GPS. Yeah, well, I don't know where I'm going with that. Turn left. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

Well, no one makes announcements like the Kardashian clan, do they? I mean, they love a big announcement, a big tease. Most of them are already rocking 2Ks. I don't think you can call them the clan. Do they? I mean, they love a big announcement, a big tease. Most of them are already rocking 2Ks. I don't think you can call them the clan. Kim Kardashian clan. What? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, not the clan.

The Kim Kardashian crew, we'll call them. Well, okay. But so, the massive announcement, and of course, Kylie Jenner made a huge announcement. She had her second baby with Travis Scott, and they called it Wolf. Now she's made a major unannouncement after announcing – she did a little post.

She posted a video, which she does, which is like, to my son. And it's all like, we're so happy. Oh, my God, yeah. We're so happy you're here. I watched this yesterday. Stormi's so ready to be a big sister. Hey, it's Auntie Kiki. Hey.

It's Auntie Kiki. But the video was called To Our Son, not called To Wolf. And then she posted a little Instagram thing saying, it wasn't really a huge announcement, unannouncement, just FYI, his name's not Wolf anymore. But they haven't said his new name. They haven't announced. They said that they just didn't really feel like Wolf was him.

Like it didn't really land with the baby's attitude. Yeah, just love it. FYI, son's name isn't Wolf anymore. Laugh face, laugh face. Just wanted to share because I keep seeing Wolf around everywhere. So they haven't, yeah, they haven't seen what the new name is. Perhaps Fox. Nah, you wouldn't go from, you might go from Fox to Wolf,

but you're not going from Wolf back to Fox. Who's the wolf scared of? Did they wear it online a bit? I mean, obviously they would have. How did you do this? Didn't you give it enough thought before you named your son Wolf? I've got a friend

who got renamed shortly after, but it was because of a mistake. So she was born and her mother, whose first language is not English, she got told that the baby, they agreed, Anna, and said that her mum went told that the baby, they agreed Anna, and so then her mum went and put on the birth certificate Anna,

but she spelled it A-N-N-A, which is definitely Anna. Anna, yeah. And then the father was like, that's Anna, and she was like, oh, I thought that's how you spell Anna. So then they had to go back and change her name. Well, to what, A-N-A? A-N-A. Okay, right, just the dropping of the N.

Yeah, yeah. But, no, yeah, people are going a little bit like, you should have put a bit more thought into this rather than having to do kind of an awkward, casual unannouncement. So we thought we'd ask you, did you have to unannounce something? I always feel sorry for people that have to unannounce their engagement. Like someone says, yes, the announcement's made, and then someone like chickens out or something.

The engagement's off. The engagement's off because it's come to light that there may have been some adultery. And they have to unannounce it. But most people would unannounce an engagement if they were still planning on staying together. So you go like, we're calling the engagement off, rather than

we're breaking up. Who could stay together after calling off an engagement? You might just go, I don't want to get married. They actually don't want that at all. Surely that was discussed before an engagement popped on the table. You'd think. You'd think so. But most people would be so embarrassed they'd just probably change it on Facebook and then just never

speak of it again, right? Yes, I know. But we want to know the times that you've had to actually unannounce it. Yeah, maybe you were so far into wedding plans that you'd, you know, you'd invited people and then you had to unannounce the wedding. What about people like, I'm moving overseas? Yes, I'm out of here. And then they're like, oh, yeah. You can all suck it. And then you're like, oh yeah. You can all suck it.

And then you're like, hey, I'm back. Yeah. Like a week later or they don't leave at all. Yes. Or I just got this great new job because you were feeling I was so cocky about it and then you didn't get the job. And everyone's like, how's the new job? Yeah. Because you jumped the gun. Yeah, maybe you jumped the gun

on something. You pre-announced something that you were so sure was going to happen and then you had to... You had to unannounce. Rewind, rewind, rewind. You might have seen this, that Kylie Jenner and Travis... Which one is he? Scott.

Scott. Yep. Had to do a big... Not Barker. Not Barker. No. Had to do a big... I can see why they're confused.

They've got a couple of Traverses on the books. A couple of Traverses added to the Jenna Kardashian crew. Had to make an unannouncement after they announced their baby was born, their baby's son, who they called Wolf, and they've unannounced the name. She said FYI, not Wolf. It's not Wolf anymore. It didn't work.

But they haven't said the new name yet. No, no. We were hypothesising, but we're not sure of what it is. Okay. So we want to know when you've had to unannounce something, when you've made a grand proclamation. And have to unproclaim it. Backtrack it.

Rebecca, what was your big unannouncement? I had to unannounce the gender of my baby. Oh, why? So at my 20-week scan, the sonographer told me that I was having a girl. We were excited. We announced that we were having a girl. We had a girl name-packed, and we did a baby shower for our baby girl. And at 39 weeks, I had some problems and had another scan at the hospital.

And I was like, how's my baby girl? Is everything okay? And they were like, ah, no, no, we can see a little thing. A little thing. Wow. This is going to be great to throw in his face when he's a teenager. Oh, sorry. When he's a teenager, you can really throw this in his face

if he's getting a bit cocky. He can be like, well, your doodle's so small they couldn't even see it until you were nearly born. Oh, no! Oh, mate. Yeah, that's funny. So little Layla became little Lincoln. He's now five. And yeah, I suppose he was getting a bit cocky. I could probably throw that

at his face. Yeah, absolutely you could. So you stuck with Elle, I see see there with the names you had a name picked out, Layla, so We did, we had both names picked out. Unlikely events that it was going to happen and then it happened. Had you gone

too hard on the decorating? Like did Lincoln have a pink room for a while or? Not too bad, like just blankets and stuff. He's our first, so we were quite sensible about being gender neutral. Oh, nice. And I'll tell you what other thing, baby boys don't give a god damn

what colour blankets are. No, they don't. Oh, you're absolutely right. My mum's knitting, however. Grandma's knitting. Like, sorry mum, you've got to start again. Die that. She could probably have died it. Yeah. Rebecca, thanks so much for your call. Jasmine, what was your unannouncement?

You had a bit of a Kylie Jenner situation. I did. We also had a name picked out. We actually had a name picked out from the time we found out we were pregnant. Her name was going to be Lilia Amadia. And yeah, as the pregnancy went on, obviously all our family knew.

We had family members putting up our little sonogram picture on the fridge with Lily and we all talked about Lily. And then she was born and I said, that is not a Lily. I cannot name that child Lily. And in every store we've been to during our pregnancy, there was a Lily and I was like,

nope, it's too common. Yeah, so we actually, a week after she was born, we had to announce to about 100 family members that they needed to stop calling her Lily. It was going to be Farrah now. Oh, cute. But you just looked in her eyes and thought, ain't no Lily in there. Yeah, there's no Lily in there.

So you changed to Sarah? Sarah, like Sarah Fawcett. Oh, Sarah. I was going to say, you changed from Lily because it was too common to Sarah? Also, you've got the Farrah raps, don't you? Oh, my God, my favourite rap. I don't know which Farrah I like more, the raps or the woman. Yeah, I put Farrah Fawcett in a Farrah rap and I'm absolutely eating her right up. Thanks for your call. Except she's been dead for a while now. I'm not to put Farrah Fawcett in a Farrah wrap and I'm absolutely eating her right up.

Except she's been dead for a while now. I'm not eating dead Farrah Fawcett. That was a metaphorical sort of revisit. Prime Farrah Fawcett. Yeah, like 70s Charlie's Angels Farrah Fawcett. Rebecca, you had an unannouncement. Tell us about it. Oh, hey guys. Yeah, so we

had an engagement party for our upcoming wedding and had everyone come to celebrate with us. But we'd found out a couple of days before that I was actually pregnant, which was a really wonderful surprise, but a surprise. And so my husband had to stand up and tell everyone at the engagement party that the wedding was off and everyone was like, oh no, what's happened? Like, what's gone wrong? and everyone was like, oh, no, what's happened?

Like, what's gone wrong? And he was like, well, we're having a baby. I'd be annoyed that I would have ordered all this wine for my engagement party and now I can't even drink it. I would have put aside some. I would have made a little cache for later on. Yeah, that's mine. Yeah.

Everyone's still celebrated really well, so that's okay. Just for a new occasion. Thank you, Rebecca. Thanks, Rebecca. Thanks, Rebecca. Some messages in. I had to unannounce my moving away. I was moving to Wellington, quit my job, have a leaving party organized, then found out I was pregnant and ended up having to turn the leaving party

into an I'm staying party and had to sheepishly ask my boss if I could stay on with the job. Oh, no. Funny old time. My workmate's boyfriend was so convinced that he got a job, he sold his house and preemptively went to move to Auckland. Then he didn't get the job and they didn't have a house anymore. Had to unannounce their move.

Oh dear. Friend of ours was getting married to his partner and then they put in parentheses or brackets, she was an awful woman, close brackets. Three weeks before the wedding, we noticed the entire event had been deleted on Facebook. No notification or anything. It was 200 plus guest list and most people were traveling distance to the venue.

Let's just say we all breathed a sigh of relief, but they had to announce their wedding plans. Oh my gosh. I had a ball with my boyfriend. Oh, like a formal function. Oh, I was like, I had a ball. I had a grand old time with my boyfriend. Oh, like a formal function. Oh, I was like, I had a ball! I had a grand old time with my boyfriend. I had a ball with my boyfriend, nails were booked, makeup, everything, then got dumped.

Oh! And had to cancel everything. And I'd made grand announcements on Facebook about how great it was going to be. And then my friend and I were meant to go together and go shopping and the whole thing had to be cancelled. Why didn't they just get online and do that thing, Lady Gaga, will you come to the ball with me? Yes.

Oh, yeah. I need a celebrity. Yeah. My God, dump Lady Gaga. Drop what you're doing. You've got plenty of time on your hands. Come down. Somebody else said, not me, but I used to work for an airline

and a pilot announced that he got his command. So he went from first officer to captain. Kilda? Took a picture of himself in his uniform, announcing it on Instagram, then failed his last exam so didn't get it.

Very awkward. Sheem. Very awkward. Yeah, and lots of people, I tell you what, lots of people changing baby names. Okay, so it's not uncommon. Yeah, no, this isn't.

That was me. I pushed a chair back and hit a wall in case somebody thought that That was me Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about how you would become an archer in the Roman army. Do tell. Ancient Roman army, not like the current Roman army, because it's Italy now, isn't it?

Does Rome have an army? Yeah, no. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day, according to Mochiba. That is the most obscure stupid reference ever. Can we please find Rome on Mochiba's Rome wasn't built in a day? That's a terrible song, Vaughn. You and me were meant to be Walking free in harmony One fine day we'll fly away

And don't you know that Rome wasn't built in a day Hey, hey, hey That isn't even good enough to be a Friday flashback. Are you kidding me? It's an absolutely beautiful Friday flashback. Big sing-along energy. So in the Roman army, if you wanted to be

an archer, you had to pass an eye test. But they didn't have optometrists where you went and sat and they were like, what's better, one or two? One or two? One or two? You'd be like, two. And they're like, okay, now three or four? Three or four?

I think three. Three. Are you sure three? No, four. Four. Four? Here's four. Can I see three again? Here's three. Three. Are you sure? Three? No, four. Four. Four? Here's four. Can I see three again?

Here's three. I'll go back to two. And now, okay, so two and four were the winners. What's better, two or four? Two. Much for muchness, are they? Two or four. Can I switch to one more guess at one? Yeah, I'm going to go they? Two or four. Can I just do one more geese at one?

Yeah, I'm going to go back to one or three. One or three. That is the most confusing thing in the world when you're just looking and you're like, I can't do this. And then you also feel like they're trying to catch you out for lying. Yeah. Yeah, is there a wrong answer?

If you're an optometrist, is there a wrong answer when you're going between, like, if I like two, does that mean I'm going to like four? And if I say three, you're going to be like, you didn't really like two because you picked three. Having perfect eyesight, I cannot relate to this at all. Same. But when I was a kid, I really wanted glasses because Anastasia made them trendy and I wanted yellow tinted ones.

You're talking Anastasia. So you lied. I'm out of love. Set me free. So you lied to OPSM? Yeah, so my mum took me to OPSM in the hut, and I went, and I was like, okay, can you read these letters?

And I was like, I think I was such a bad actor at this point, I got better, I promise. Wow, we saw Golden Boy. Oh, my God. I've said some horrible things to you, but I feel like that's the one that's going to stick It's fine, I'll just carry on with my story But no, I did, I saw the first letter

and I was like, um, is it K? Well, the big one at the top that even blind people can read And they're like, alright babe Give her some clear lenses and get out of here Yeah, give her a pair, she wants a cool pair of Anastasia specs. Yeah, we see a lot of your type in here. You can get those for like 20 bucks from the servo.

Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. I wanted to be at school going like, oh, God, I can barely read this thing. Let me get it in my glasses. Oh, my love, set me free. So before, of course, a trip to OPSM, SPQR, that's a Roman thing, isn't it? It is, yeah. It's a restaurant in Auckland, but it's also like some Roman numerals. They made you look at the Big Dipper, the star.

Okay. One or two. One or two One or two Which Big Dipper do you like? One Can we get a line of Big Dippers in here? Gladius, Romeus It's two

Oscar Soros Line up Whose Big Dipper do you like best? No The Big Dipper You know the formation of stars in the sky Yes So if you could see the two stars

I don't even know the Big Dipper I thought the Big Dipper was called the Big Dipper because it had a bigger dip, a bigger pot. Is that the one that looks like a pot or a shopping trolley? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Big Dipper is called the Big Dipper because it's got a longer handle. Ah. And if you could see the two stars Alcor and Mizar in the Big Dipper,

you were good enough to be an archer in the Roman army. But if you couldn't see them, you didn't have perfect 20-20 vision. So you weren't allowed to be an archer because of course

to be an archer you had to have the best eyesight. So it was nothing about aiming or strength? No, from there you were trained. But if you couldn't see

the two stars, you weren't allowed to even begin your training as an archer. You would have been on the Canterbilt Haley with your Anastasia glasses. Yeah, they would have been like,

load! And then you would have been like, I'm a load! No, it would have been like, no, they're fake, they're fake, I lied! I've got perfect vision! No, you couldn't be an archer. And light her on fire and set me free!

Boo! Yeah, so if you couldn't see them, you couldn't, so that's a, on fire and send me free! Boof. Yeah, so if you couldn't see them, you couldn't so they'd say, okay, so here's the Big Dipper or whatever we call it because we're Romans and we're big in our stars. Tell me what stars you see. And if they skipped one of them because the two were right next to each other

and this is the thing, if you ever looked, you see a star out of the corner of your eye and when you look straight at it, you can't see it anymore? Yes, it's gone. Yeah. It was there. So they need to look in all directions. Where am I looking to get that star back again? Yeah, and if you couldn't see it, you couldn't be an archer. So today's fact of the day is if you couldn't see two stars in the third kink of the Big Dipper's handle,

you couldn't be a Roman archer. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Silly, silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole.

Great one today. Wearing shoes in the house. Yeah or nah? Nah. Romps in at 65%. That's two thirds. One third of people saying, yeah, I'll show your house no respect and wear my shoes in your house.

There was a study recently that showed just how gross this was. The amount of stuff that you pick up on your feet and then trick through your carpet, your flooring, then you lounge around your flooring, your kids are on the floor, your animals are on the floor. Apparently it's worse

than we think. Yeah, well our dogs go outside and then come inside but we're never with the dirty poor. If they're wet or dirty they have to sit outside. Do they wipe it? Do you give them a mat? Well they know where to sit to dry off. They know they have to sit to dry off and then they'll

come in once they're dry. But where are no shoes in the house household? So are we. But that's sort of on Aaron's

insistence. He's, he's, he hates it. Shoes inside. People walk in and he's always like, hmm.

So my thought is never say, are shoes okay? Because that person, you're automatically putting them on the back foot of being the bad person to say, oh, we're a shoes off house. What you do is you stop at the door and you start taking off your shoes. And if they say, shoes are okay, leave your shoes on,

then you can wear your shoes inside. But if they let you take your shoes off, continue to take your shoes off. Yeah. Always take your shoes off. Always take your shoes off. We've been doing this a little bit because we've had lots of tradies coming around to have a look at things, like getting things organised for the reno. And then they'll stop at the front door and then we'll go,

oh, you can leave your shoes on because we're going to go in and out and in and out. We're replacing the carpet, replacing the floors. It doesn't matter anymore. Okay, that doesn't matter. But tradies can get that, like, glad wrap for your carpet. If they're coming in and out and out, they put this thick glad wrap, a couple of layers of that, and then they can just go in and out, in and out, in and out. That's fine.

But otherwise, it's definitely shoes off for my situation. Anyway, so my message is in. Jasmine says, a boy dumped me for wearing shoes in his house. Lol. Ruthless. That's savage, Jasmine. I don't know what to say. Sounds like an excuse, to be honest.

Apart from there must have been something else. Yeah. If he really, really liked you, he would have overlooked the shoes in the house thing. Or just said, like, oh, do you mind taking your shoes off? We're a no-shoes household. Maybe she insisted, maybe she had, like, stank feet. True.

Always put it on somebody else. Maybe, like, you say something like, oh, mum hates shoes on the house. Yeah. I actually believe we have a caller, Leanne. I've been told you're very passionate about this. Yeah, I wear my shoes inside. Always have. Even brought up as a kid to leave my shoes on. But then my husband religiously takes his shoes off at the door.

Right. And so how do you get past this difference? He nags me about leaving my shoes on and I just give him a hard time about taking them off. What kind of floors are you rocking? So we've got concrete floors throughout most of the house. I mean

carpet in the bedrooms and everywhere else. Oh yeah, that's all good. Polish concrete, I'm kind of like, that could be a shoe, a soft shoe, because I wouldn't want you in a hard shoe, plopping through the house and making me feel like, you know, I'm in an office. Honestly, I wear high heels.

Oh, no, no. Annoying. If you had wooden floors, even if you had wooden floors, you'd wear high heels. And you'd dent the wooden floors over time, wouldn't you? Yeah. We had wooden floors, you'd wear high heels. And you'd dent the wooden floors over time, wouldn't you? Yeah. What about on the next? We had wooden floors in our previous house,

and yeah, there was little tiny little indents from the floor. Leanne, you're a monster. Leanne, I'm not on your team, I'm sorry. Oh, Leanne, we just got a message. Flooring Extra have had to tune out. The Flooring Extra people, they're listening at the flooring store. They can't hear this sort of attack on flooring with you in your high heels. They need to come up with a floor that doesn't indent from milk.

No, you need to take your shoes off. It's called concrete, Leanne, and you've got it throughout your house. Leanne, thanks. You call some last messages in to finish up. I always take my shoes off in other people's houses as a sign of respect, but I couldn't give an F if people wear shoes inside mine, provided they're not dirty, says Katie. Yeah, I'm the same.

It's also a cultural thing for a lot of houses as well. Totally, totally. If you haven't cleaned the floor and it's gross for my kids, I'll wear jandals, but the general rule is no closed-toed shoe on the floor. Oh, yeah. If the shoes are clean, feel free to wear them. No work boots, gum boots though, et cetera, et cetera. Okay.

Gemma says, I like to wear shoes when I want to be productive. It's like I've got my shoes on. I better do something. So if you're working from home and you need to, like, encourage yourself to get work and chuck a pair of shoes on. Please don't tell me to expose my feet at your house. We are not a remove shoes family. It's so awkward and weird.

Please leave your shoes on. And ooh, yuck, when you turn up at someone's house and there's a big great pile of shitty shoes welcoming you. Oh, yeah. Yuck. That was so passionate. Please don't bring your muddy shoes onto my carpet. Yeah, she doesn't want to get her, I'm guessing she's got gross feet. I reckon she's got

hucky feet. I reckon she's got hooks. Curled toe nails. She's got little goblin feet. You need a pedicure and an attitude change. Goblin Clementine's like, you shan't be taking my shoes away from me. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I think I might be a little bit late to this. And this is very out of character for Aaron.

But last night I cooked a delicious, and please head to my Instagram and check it out. I cooked a delicious fish and chip meal from scratch. Like homemade. Including homemade tartare. I self panko crumbed that fish and fried it myself., including homemade. Like homemade. Including homemade tartare. I self panko crumbed that fish and fried it myself and made a salad. And I made wedges in the air fryer. Somebody marry me. It's taking too long.

Anyway, so I said to Aaron. He has proposed. Yeah, years ago, three years ago. Anyway, he's moving and he's shaking. Anyway, so I said to Aaron, his only job, I was like, all you need to do is just pick something to watch. I cannot deal with that thing all the time. What are we watching?

I don't know. And I got in and this is so out of character for him. He chose the old people's home for four-year-olds. And if you don't know this show, it's an experiment. Australian, right? Australian experiment where old people hang out with four year olds and it's to help like the four-year-olds come out of their shell and learn how to interact with adults and it helps the elderly uh combat loneliness and i was like okay this is great no

i could have told you from the outset i started watching it i reckon i'm gonna say like eight minutes in, I was in tears, absolute tears, pouring down my cheeks and I turned to Aaron and I said, we've got to do something.

What can we do about elderly loneliness? It's just the sweetest little show. Oh, it's pretty, but then some of them, some of the old people on that show,

I've watched two episodes and I cried and I was like, I don't need this. I'm saving it for one of those days where I do need to cry and I can't quite like squeeze one out. But some of those old people didn't want help. No, they didn't. They were codgers, I tell you.

Yeah. But then the kids, they softened them because the kids would be like, I'm Aidan. Can you help me with my trees? Yeah, there were some good ones. That's a dumb tree, Aidan can you help me with my trees? Yeah there were some good ones Alright That's a dumb tree Aidan And then at the end they're all giggling and playing

and I honestly just said, I kept saying to Aaron what can we do, what can we do, we don't have kids if I had kids I would have been in the car down to the local retirement village and been like entertain these old people We're still brainstorming a plan because I've read so many articles about elderly loneliness and how elderly loneliness is a killer.

And it's an epidemic. Whereas I can't wait to just be left alone. I know, but some of them said that. They were like, there was one of the guys on the first ep who was like, if you have a conversation with people out there of that age, he said, it'll bore you to death. I don't have the time. And then he was the one who was like,

I just don't want to engage with people. I've come here to die. It was so emotional. And then this little kid absolutely just breaks up. Hoping some right up, yeah. Honestly, if you feel like a cry, you've got to watch it. I'm going to watch it tonight, and I'm just going to cry and cry and cry,

and then I'm going to make a plan about how I can steal someone's children and take them down to the retirement village because I don't have any of my own, and I don't plan on having any. And then I felt guilty because I a plan about how I can steal someone's children and take them down to the retirement village because I don't have any of my own and I don't plan on having any. And then I felt guilty because I was thinking about these poor people and how much they love being surrounded by kids and I thought of my parents getting old and me not giving them any grandkids.

So maybe I will get pregnant just so that Patsy and Craig aren't alone in their retirement. Jesus. Dying of loneliness. They'll have each other. Oh no. Craig will be long gone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. ZM's $100,000 secret sound.

Well, Soundkeeper Owls joins us and a clue released yesterday, Soundkeeper Owls. Yeah, it was a big day. Got another clue out on the Graham ZMM Secret Sound Instagram if you want to look. I'm looking right now. Okay, so you can also on this Instagram account see the guesses that have been made. So if you've got one,

we don't want double ups because people get very angry when there's a double up. Interesting. I'm looking at the clue now. May I? Can I refer to the first clue? Of course. May I? I don't know how this works. I'm looking at the clue now. So if you, may I, can I refer to the first clue? Of course, of course. May I? May I? I don't know how this works.

I'm nervous. So the first clue that was given a week ago was a scene from The Office, the American office with Steve Carell. And then yesterday's clue is also an office, but much older. It's a black and white photo of a doctor with a skeleton. Okay, okay, okay.

So you can zoom in. Can you zoom in and see anything? Yeah, I'm zooming in. The skeleton's wearing a hat, has some glasses, and is smoking a cigar. The doctor has a sort of, what's this thing? Cravat? Tie thing?

Yep, right. There's an old chair. There's doors. Well, could it be an old door, an old chair? An oak desk? I don't know. Oak. Well, that could be an oak desk.

I do know my woods very well. Is that an oak sound? It's not screaming oak to me. Isn't it? Okay. All right, who's joining us for Secret Sound this morning? We've got Tyler on the phone. Good morning, Tyler. Good morning, guys. Now, did that new clue mean anything to you, to your guests? It sort of does, but I'm just full sending it and I'm

hoping it's all good. You're going for a full send? Full cent. I'm going for a full cent. Committing. Full cent. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, for $50,000, what do you think this sound is? I believe it's a hole punch. Oh, we're going there. Yeah. Oh, it's a hole punch. We haven't heard it for this long.

Someone had to say it. Yep. A hole punch. And for those new to Secret Sound, maybe yourself, Hayley, this is a long-running gag. It's a long-running guess. A common guess? Mm-hmm.

Well, maybe that's the thing. It's like the reverse psychology, Al. You thought that it's so obvious, hole punch is an obvious guess, that people won't guess it because it's too obvious, so then you made this sound a hole punch. Well, do you genuinely think it's a hole punch, Tyler, or do you just want to go along with the gag? I actually do.

Me and my partner slowed it down last night, and, oh, yeah, it just sounds like it. It's so weird. Sweet. That's fine. I'll take it. What would you do with 50 grand? Would you half it with your partner?

Oh, yeah, no, it's going straight to a deposit for these housing prices. Yeah, gorgeous. He's a good boy. Nice. Okay. Now's the time. Locking it in. That is not a secret.

You tease, Al. You absolute murder. She's good at the tease. She's good at the tease. Hey, hard like another chance coming up at 8. It's all thanks to Neon. You can sign up now for your free 14-day trial at neon.co.nz. Tees and sees apply.

Some amazing stuff on Neon. Well, it's all thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service. Get great value. Get it on Neon. You can sign up for a 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. $50,000 is the jackpot.

But if it doesn't go today, tomorrow will be a $100,000 Thursday. Again. Exciting stuff. Soundkeeper Owls is in with us. There was a clue yesterday. Yes, there was on the ZDM Secret Sound Instagram. Can we just point out

for a second, Fletch, that yesterday Soundkeeper Owls came in wearing a Niagara Falls jumper and Vaughn was very quick to be like, have you been to Niagara Falls? And Owls was like, no. No, no, no, it wasn't. I thought that your parents might have taken it. No, he was doing that thing, you know, if you wear a band T-shirt.

Name three bands. Yeah, why are you wearing that? Yeah. No, because it's an authentic. It's not just screen printed on. It's embroidered. It's a very flash Niagara Falls jumper. I thought, surely one could only buy that

should they have been to Niagara Falls. Well, I haven't. And then so Vaughn challenged Owls to give... Homework. He did some homework and said, I want you to bring three facts about Niagara Falls. She walks in this morning at 7am, slaps it down on the desk, don't you, babe?

I do. Here you go. Here's your three facts. Three facts. Great handwriting too, by the way. Very easy to ride. Formed from glacial melt activity at the end of the last ice age, 12,000 years ago. More than 700,000 gallons of water per second pour over the falls at about 25 miles per hour.

And it was also the home of the first hydroelectric power plant in 1885. Well, thank you so much, Alice, for that new information. Three interesting Niagara Falls. Lovely. What about the number of fish that go over? 90% because then I was like, well, these are great facts. I want to find some more facts. 90% of fish that swim over Niagara Falls survive

because they're from the area. They've evolved to survive the fall. We've been reading about the falls all morning. Are they spongy? Are they spongy or something? They'd be tough as hell. I would have thought a tough fish. What a sponge.

The fish. Oh, there's fish. Yeah, the fish. And the foam that forms at the bottom softens the blow of when they go onto it. Some of them can get a bit dizzy, though. Yeah, the pressure of the hit. Anyway, that was just a little diversion to Niagara Falls. Yeah, pre-fact of the day.

Joining us for Secret Sound, Ainsley. Good morning, Ainsley. Good morning. Hello. $50,000insley. Good morning. Hello. Hi. $50,000 is the current jackpot. If you can tell us what this sound is, $50,000 cash is yours. Ainsley, if you get it right today, would you be gutted that you just didn't wait for tomorrow and get like twice as much?

Yeah, maybe. No, no, because it's not. It's a lot of money. You're going to poo-poo $ Yeah, maybe. No, no, because it's not. It's a lot of money. So we'll be grateful anyway. You're going to poo-poo $50,000. No, I'm not going to poo-poo $50,000. But, you know, it would be like winning Lotto the same week that five other people won it.

It's kind of like, I would have rather have won next week. Or how people go like, oh, what's the jackpot for Lotto this week? One million. I'm not going to bother with that. I think my husband might be a little bit gushed, but then... Right, and what would you do with $50,000?

Well, we've got baby... Sorry, my son. He wants it. He wants it. Well, we've got baby number two due in a few weeks, so maybe like a baby moon or something. A few weeks? You must be close to popping. Yeah. Yeah, a few weeks. Wow maybe like a baby moon or something. A few weeks? You must be close to

popping. Yeah. Good luck. Alright, well, $50,000. What do you think it is? So this is actually my husband's guess. He thinks it's a compression on

a CPR dummy. So the sound of like going up and down. Yeah, because when you're working. Yeah, because the office has got like that iconic scene with the CPR dummy. And then yesterday's clue was the skeleton. The skeleton dummy. Maybe.

And that's how they teach you that you've pushed in far enough, right, it clicks. It clicks. When you're doing the compressions, you've got to push it until it clicks. Just like your rib cage should? Yeah, you should break a couple of ribs. Resuscitating someone, you should crack a couple of ribs.

Otherwise, you're not doing it hard enough. I'd be terrible in that situation. Yeah, just wait for the ambulance. Yes. This person is dying. Get in there, crack a few ribs. They're coming, they're coming. Hang in there.

Okay, we're locking that in. 50k. Still a lot of money. Not 100k, but still. Still a lot. 50k. And congrats on the baby. Thank you.

Well. I can tell you. More? I can tell you... That is not the secret sound. Oh, wow. The anticipation. All right, well, you can blame your husband. You said it was your husband's guess, so... Yeah, it's his fault.

Yeah, he's been teaching me, so he's like, I'm sure it's that. Yeah, make sure you scream it at him when you're in labor. Be like, this is your fault. Both the baby and the fact we didn't win Secret Sound.