ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 23rd May 2022

Episode Date: May 22, 2022

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Shortland St  Community Notices  Vaughan's Bath Selfie  Hayley's Hair UpdateAsking for a Friend!  Vaughan's Bed Making  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab

any size McCafe coffee for only $4 conditions apply. And Hayley's gone off to the great British New Zealand Bake Off. Yes. She starts filming that today. So she'll be kind of broadcasting a lot from home in the next few weeks. She's just down the road from the set.

And you Vaughan Smith are off to get your rat test in an hour. So that I may travel to Los Angeles to attend Star Wars celebration at Disneyland. It's weird that like. I'm still like not. I've been, people over the weekend, you must be so excited. I'm like, just everybody fuck up. Calm down. Calm down. you'll be excited when you get

a positive result a negative result sorry i thought a negative result will leave me feeling positive yeah a positive attitude negative covid we just won't see you as you slump into a depressive state for the next two weeks and yeah isolate at home yeah um but yeah you get this it's weird though that new ze Zealand and America, are we some of the only countries left doing pre-departure tests? Like, I know I have had friends in Australia that, like, struggle at, like, out of big cities getting a test because people are like, what do you mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, we don't do this anymore. A friend went to Australia for work and to come back, she had to do a Zoom with a doctor and do the um rat and the once she'd done it yeah nothing could leave the doctor's sight like she had to angle her laptop so and everything had to constantly stay in camera sight so you couldn't like be like drip drip drip oh we'll just wait for that yeah yeah like and sneak switch with one that you knew was negative to get back in you still had to to, like, everything had to stay.

And then the doctor just sits on the line like. And as far as I know, it was a doctor. Yeah, right. It wasn't just someone who had been. And then they write her a letter or them a letter saying it was all good. Yeah, and you've got all your passport details and everything. It's crazy. And then you could get COVID in the next 24 hours and bring it in anyway.

Yeah, totally. I have just, I've just been looking at my itinerary. Yeah. I've just seen here a five night stay at the Hilton. Yeah. Which is very nice. I also have $100 a day for incidentals. Like minibar.

In room dining, minibar, hotel restaurants. Does not cover spa, gift shop, cash out, or in-room movies. Cash out. Imagine going for a work trip and you get the cash out because- You get the cash out every day. Yeah. Okay. Okay, and then-

But then in-room dining, that's one meal at the Hilton. Is it? I'm imagining it is. They've got restaurants there. I'll just go and I'll be like, one garlic bread, please. In-room movies is another option. That's no porno, basically what they're saying, isn't it? Yeah, it is.

Who's watching porno on hotel? I know. Who's paying? Who's doing, like, come on. You've got a phone, right? Or a laptop. Oh, no, I meant don't do it. That's filthy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That too. Don't do it. And then I've got lightsaber building and droid building and then just heaps of panels. I'm doing an audience with the Emperor, Ian McDiarmid, who played, I don't know if I'm saying that right, who played the Emperor in all of the Star Wars movies.

He's going to be doing that. And I believe at the end of the week as well, on the show, the one and only Ewan McGregor. Yes. Which is super exciting. Obi-Wan Kenobi himself ahead of Obi-Wan Kenobi episode one on Disney+. Super excited about it. Well, good luck with your rat test.

I do not want to deal with you if it comes back positive. I'm so excited. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's three minutes past six today. Hayley joining us from her bedroom not because

you have COVID-19, but because you start... Yeah, I start filming The Great Kiwi Bake Off today and the set is just around the corner from my house and I was like, guys, don't make me come into town. I'm a country gal now. Yeah.

Does this mean that we don't get any of the cakes or baking that gets made? I might make special deliveries as we go. But under strict embargo, like a non-disclosure cake. I know, we won't even be able to talk about it on air, because that will reveal what the challenges are, so no. I'm going to need all of those cakes to take a rat test before I end. Yeah.

I do feel like I might come back in three weeks' time into studio, and we might need to reinforce the chair I sit on. Right. And widen the doorway. Yeah, widen the doorway. Sure, just to be safe. And Vaughn, tomorrow you're off to Los Angeles

after the show. Yes. So today after the show I get my official pre-departure ratature test and then should I pass? I'm good to go and then yeah, tomorrow evening I go to Los Angeles for Star Wars celebration. So also the Prime Minister off to America tomorrow.

It's no coincidence. We're old school friends. We're having a little bit of a post-COVID holiday. We both believe that it's done. It's done. So we're just going to get out there and make the most of the world. Right. Are you catching a ride on the Air Force 757?

I am not. No, I am going on the... You missed a track there. You could have hopped on as media. Yeah, that would make sense. Is that a comfortable ride I am going on in Air New Zealand? Am I dreamlining? I think you might be dreamlining, yeah.

I love the dreamliner. Oh, yeah, yeah. We love the planes. He's also put himself in for a one-up. Oh, look at this. He had some credit. Look at this bougie guy. He's also put himself in for a one-up. Oh, look at this. He had some credit. Look at this bougie guy. He had some credit.

As we all did, had some airline credit when the pandemic hit. So you're an economy. Yes. And the one-up means you can bid for a premium economy. How much did you bid? Yeah, you say the value of what you think it's worth. Yes. How much did you bid? Yeah, you say the value of what you think it's worth. Yes. How much did you bid?

It's changed. The minimum amount you can bid now is significantly more than it used to be. But I bid the absolute minimum amount that I could. Right. But in saying that, I also looked at the seats and there's quite a few like empty seats. So I'm thinking it might be a sky couch without a sky couch situation. Yeah. Would you rather be in business class and have

paid for it or have a whole row of three to yourself in economy? Well, I'd never pay for business class. That's a rule I have. I would do premium economy at the absolute maximum. Yeah. Yeah. I'm too tall

to sleep. You'd need a row of four. But if it's a three, I can't. If it was a three, I can't. If it was a three, I couldn't. All right, well, if this rat test comes back positive, let's not talk to Vaughn. You won't see me again. You won't.

Vaughn will go. You should have seen him cleaning the microphone before even speaking into it. I know. I should have done this. I should have been rocking this since the pandemic begun. This microphone's never been cleaner. Alright, coming up on the show, the top six,

30 years of Shortland Street this week. 30 years. Isn't that crazy? You know, the first couple of years it was just a hospital and that was drama enough, but then, you know, 28 years ago they ran out of hospital storylines so they started going crazy. I've got the top six storylines that

Shortland Street can do next. After, you know, all the craziness. Are you sure there's any left? Fresh ideas, hot takes. You've come to the right place. Well, speaking of hospitals and health and medicine, next on the show, monkeypox is here. Well, not in New Zealand.

No. Ring the alarm bell. There is monkeypox in the world and it's going around. How worried should we be? ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So you can imagine after years of the pandemic, everything wrong in the world at the moment, the war, inflation, cost of living.

Jesus. Why? It's Monday morning. Why are you listing these things? I'm just saying, add monkey pox to the list. Yeah. So these are the things I've been seeing everywhere online, and they're like pustule-y sores.

They're like chicken pox. Yeah. They look like a real hard-out form of chicken pox. I want to know how a pox gets a, gets, an animal gets a pox because you got like cow pox. Yep. Monkey pox. Chicken pox, of course, the most popular pox.

Yeah. Is it actually? Isn't it witches? Don't witches do it? Oh no, that's a hex. That's a hex, not a pox. Yeah. I mean a chicken hex would be horrible. Yeah. It's a chicken, not a pox. Yeah. I mean, a chicken hex would be horrible. Yeah. That's a chicken-based curse. Well, the World Health Organization said it expects to identify more cases of monkeypox as it expands surveillance in countries where the disease is not typically found.

As of Sunday, 92 confirmed cases and 28 suspected cases of monkeypox have been reported from 12 member states. Now, that does include Australia. Because this is native. Monkeypox is around. Weirdly, it's a native virus to some area, right? Mostly Africa, yeah. African nations.

African nations, yeah. On the equator. It's a real tropical pox. And it comes from rodents, apparently. Well, why isn't it called rat pox? Why are monkeys getting this? Why are monkeys getting this? Why are monkeys getting this? They don't put it on the monkeys.

They did nothing to deserve this. Is this, do we, this is apparently, I'm reading a headline here that says sexual form of monkey pox blamed for spread of virus. Well, yes. So, information suggests. Is that a trustworthy news source? And I'm the Sydney Morning Herald, I think. Yeah, they're trustworthy. They're trustworthy.

Yeah, apparently it is, it's close contact. Human-to-human transmission is occurring among people in close physical contact. Well, there's no closer contact than SEX. Jinx. Cute that we spelt it. Other than the closeness of a soul connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. So it's closer.

A spiritual connection. Yeah. You know what I mean? A soul connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. So it's closer. A spiritual connection. Australia reported its first confirmed cases on Friday in a traveller who'd been from Britain to Melbourne and a Sydney man who'd returned from Europe. And then there's also news that a gay sex sauna in Spain was a super spreader event as well. So oh no! Monkey pox to a side.

Yeah. There's also a fairly other high profile pandemic happening. Yeah, I know. Were they running rat tests to get into this sexy Spanish gay sauna but not checking for pustule bliss? I doubt it. I don't know.

There is a vaccine and some countries are already starting to order this vaccine. Spanish gay sauna, but not like checking for pustule bliss? I doubt it. I don't know. I don't know. There is a vaccine and some countries are already starting to order this vaccine. What is it? For monkeypox. Because it's a smallpox. It's very similar to smallpox vaccine. Yeah. Which, of course, we nearly or we did eliminate, but there has been the odd little case of

that. Yeah. Is it a herpes strain like chicken pox and shingles and all that? I think it's in that fano. It's in the pox family. The herpes strain like chicken pox and shingles and all that? I think it's in that fano. It's in the pox family. In the fano of the herpes fano. Yeah. I'm not too sure, but yeah.

I'm going to Australia soon. I don't want a bar of it. Yeah, same. But I've had shingles and chicken pox, so I wonder if I've got some kind of, you know. I'm hoping my adult chicken pox, you remember my adult chicken pox that I only got, what, 10 years ago? Yeah.

I'm hoping that will ward it off for me. Didn't your mum send you to a chicken pox party? No, no. I don't think we had those pox parties. Oh, God, we did. I'm sure. Like, Christabel's got pox. You can go over for a couple of nights.

Which was wild, wasn't it? Exposing your child to the full-blown, the virus. There is a childhood vaccination for chickenpox now. It's like 98%. I think it's just a squirt up the old schnoot. I thought you were going to say a gummy lolly. Now we're talking. Now we're talking.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You may have seen an Australian election at the weekend and there's a new Prime Minister. What's his name? Albanese. Caprese Salad. Caprese Albanese. Albanese. Anthony Albanese.

So I noticed last night, this is the 31st Prime Minister of Australia. I was like, how are we up to 40? And now we're only up to 30. They just have long ones. Yeah, have people staying around for longer terms. They've been through like seven in the last 10 years or something. Yeah, but before that they used to run for like big runs.

So I looked it up. When we got to the point where the leader of the country was called a prime minister, we backdated and called every leader until they're the prime minister. So we didn't get our first prime minister until like 1907, official prime minister. Right. But then we were just like, oh, let's just call everybody we've had prime minister.

But they didn't. They got their first prime minister in like 1901, and they were like, this is prime minister number one. So we've had about the same then. Yeah, we've probably had about the same, but we just backdated the leaders before that. Right. Well, ScoMo's gone. ScoMo's gone. Albanese is in, and a whole had about the same. But we just backdated the leaders before that. Right. Well, ScoMo's gone.

ScoMo's gone. Albanese is in. And a whole lot of people voted in Speedos. And you may have seen this on the news. It was covered. An absolute piece of marketing genius from Budgie Smuggler. See, the problem with Speedos is like glad wrap, right? Anything you wear that's a Budgie Smuggler or a speedo is a speedo.

But there's a brand called Budgie Smuggler. There's a brand called Budgie Smuggler. I don't know what you would call these briefs. Swim briefs? Briefs. Swimming togs. Knickers. Swimming knickers.

Togs is anything you swim in. So togs could be these, but also ball shorts. Nah, but speedos are speedos. Speedos are a brand. Budgie Smugglers and speedos are different than a tog. A tog to me is something looser. But yeah, there's so many photos of people. Something looser?

Like a knee-length board short. Yes, like a boardie. Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to find what even Speedos call there. But there's no rule against voting in your Speedos. No, you can vote in whatever, if it's not in decent exposure. The only thing you're not allowed to wear when you vote right is like things advertising the party you're going to vote for.

Right. Yeah. I remember the first time I voted in Auckland and I wore a big party of my choice T-shirt and I was like, let's go. And everyone was like, you can't wear that. And I had to borrow a hoodie from a man. I thought you could, but if you were working in any capacity

at a voting booth, you couldn't. I know this because my auntie Elaine, my papa's sister, I can remember as a child, she ran the polling booth during the election at Kiwite Primary School and she wore all of her National Party regalia. And mum said when we left,

she's not supposed to do that. She can't be told what to do. Imagine if she did that now. Because it influences, right? It influences people as they step forward. Yeah, some All Blacks got in big trouble for tweeting about who they voted for, who they were going to vote for on voting day.

And you can't do that either if you've got any form of influence. So Budgie Smuggler said, we're going to offer you a free pair of Budgie Smugglers to anybody who votes exercising their constitutional right to vote without pants on and pop it in like Speedos or whatever you call these dogs that expose the ball and slip up the ass.

Yeah. So hundreds, hundreds of people have done it. Hashtag smugglers decide. Marketing genius from them. Yeah, exactly. They've got massive international exposure and it's going to cost them a few hundred pairs of... Budgie smugglers, not speedos.

Not speedos. All right, next. Any women partaking in any budgie smugglers? Yeah, there were. There were, yeah. Tops though? Did they budgie snuggles? Yeah, there were. There were, yeah. Tops, tops though? Did they wear a top? They wore a top.

Yeah. Much like Instagram, much like Instagram, voting booths are still not pro-nip. If the nip belongs to a female. You know, one of those really, one of those actual useful nips. Yeah.

One of the nips that serves a purpose other than, you know, just getting flicked during a bit of play. Alright, next on the show it's our silly little poll. Which side of the bed does the nation sleep on? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little poll Silly little poll It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little poll Silly little poll Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The left? The right? Or do you change? Who changes? Always the same. Always the same. Standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the left, the right, or do you change? Who changes? Always the same.

Always the same. Standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the bed, I'm on the left. Yeah, same. Yeah, that's the same with us. Aaron's on the left, the boy side, and I'm on the right standing looking at it. And I've never changed.

Even when we move house, I don't, we just stay on the same side. Even what about if you go to a hotel and it's a big bed, but you're the only one in it? Same side? Yeah, same side. Yeah, we established this early in our relationship because the first, like, the flat shut I lived in, if I slept on the left, it was next to the door that opened onto the porch.

And she was like, you sleep on that side so the robbers get you through i would get the robbers whether she would excuse me that'd be not covered no i think it was just a spit choke um that'd not be covered i don't want to and she would have to deal with burglars that had entered internally yeah she'd deal with the internal burglar's house i would deal with the initial intruder. Little did she know that you would just scream and probably run away anyway. Absolutely scream and use her as a human shield. Yeah, we did the same.

Like Aaron was on the door sides and we had a steel baseball bat under the bed so that when an intruder came in, he would bludgeon them to death. Fantastic. Okay, so we asked, do you always sleep on the same side of the bed? Always the left, always the right.

Now I change it up 48%, always the left side. Now, we didn't clarify whether it is looking at the bed or in the bed. When I voted, I just assumed looking at the bed, I'm on the left. Standing at the foot of the bed. Yeah, looking at the bed. Yeah, I voted being in the bed. When I voted, I just assumed, looking at the bed, I'm on the left. Standing at the foot of the bed. Yeah. I voted being in the bed. Oh, God. Oh, my

God. Are we going to have to redo this poll? We'll do the same one tomorrow. Because we weren't specific. Well, always the left side, 48%. Half of people, basically. Always the right side, 41%. And now, I change it up 12%,

which I can only assume would be like singles. Those are people, those are mad people. Like I'm alone in my bed, and I will always sleep on the left side. I might spread a little to the middle. Yeah, you might spread, but you're not going on the right side. No, you're not changing sides.

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It's psychopathic behaviour. Some feedback. Bronwyn said, at home, I always stay on the same side, but if I stay at my parents'

or a hotel, for example, I sleep on whatever side is by the door. Oh, okay. Their parents' house is the opposite side to usual. Oh, no, Bronwyn.

The common theme is I like to be by the door. Well, she's just, she knows her emergency exits. She's smart. Yeah, maybe she's got a baseball bat that travels with her. Erica says, I'm not worried what side, but my partner has to sleep on the driver's side?

Oh. Oh, look, it's a car. That's interesting. You'd be on the right if you're in the car. Hey, if you're sitting in the bed and driving, that's the side I sleep on too. Yeah, you're on the driver's side. I'm the driver.

When we go somewhere, I drive most of the time. Yeah. Kayleigh says I'll always sleep on the left, but when I stay at my partner's, I'll only be on the right since that means I get to sleep on my left over his shoulder. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So he's going to establish a side you're fitting in with it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So he's going to establish side.

You're fitting in with it. Yeah, right. Hannah says, always the same side, except on our honeymoon, where we decided to spice things up by switching sides. That is really spicing things up, isn't it? That's hot, Hannah. That's hot stuff.

Megan says, I'm single and I sleep right in the middle lucky for some oh wow I couldn't do it I'd still have to pick a side I don't have to roll more than once to get out

yeah or scooch across yes yeah Sophie says always left at home because it's closer to the bathroom but when we go away

it's either or to spice things up people have a very bland taste bud of what constitutes spicing things up. God, I could send you a couple of websites if you like to sort of really spice things up. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, this started as a very innocent complaint to the warehouse's Facebook page.

An unhappy customer was the title of this complaint. And the woman, this has now gone viral. This has gone global. Like, it's everywhere. Really, really proud of New Zealand. So a woman took to the Facebook page of the warehouse and said, not a happy customer here. I bought some underwear, bracket, five pack, value. It's value for money.

That's value. That's great value. Perfect sense. At the warehouse for a friend. Oh, and they were a gift. Okay. We thought we had the right size, but it turns out the lady needed the next size up.

So we took them back to the warehouse, hoping for an exchange as we had the original receipt, but it turns out the lady needed the next size up. So we took them back to the warehouse, hoping for an exchange as we had the original receipt. Or even a refund. The warehouse refused to do either of these! Exclamation mark. Basically, the attitude was tough shite. I get that it's a health and safety concern, but it's not like all

the undies were tried on. Only the first pair. Yeah, wow. You can still resell the remaining four and get something for it. $12 isn't a huge amount, but that's the principle that matters. I don't like being ripped off. If that's your policy, then you

need to have it somewhere where it can be seen so customers don't get caught out. She tried on a pair of the undies. Yeah, if you're not sure of size, buy one at a time, you know, and then get the size locked in. Yeah, but then, Vaughn, you don't get the value of the five-pack. Well, you've got to spend money to make money. Yeah, but you can open a five-pack in the store, right?

Yeah, typically, I mean, I haven't tried on undies in years. I just know now the size. Yeah. But typically with women's undies, if you tried them on in the changing room at the shop, you try them on over your undies. Yeah. Or when no one's looking, you just try them on, eh?

But what about if you wanted to try on a G-string? Because that goes in. Yeah, are you saying if you try that on over standard undies and then it might be a bit loose when you got home because it... Because it can't get in. Scootches up the butthole. Scootches up the butthole. Scootches up the crack.

Yeah. Anyway, so many people are commenting on this thread being like, dude, like they can't take back your worn undies, even if you wore them for like a second. Yeah, also it's $12. Like I know times are tough and everything's expensive, but you know... Surely you know somebody that's that size and undies

that you could pass them on to. Yeah, exactly. Or donate them to charity or sell them on Trade Me. The great thing is, so this has obviously been copied into Reddit and the Reddit thread below are like people who have also worked in retail and who have had customers try to return stuff. One of

them says, once I worked at a surf shop, we had a customer try to return a wetsuit that was soaked, covered in sand, and smelled like pee. They tried to tell me it had never been used. Yeah, gross. Yeah, you'd see all of it in retail, eh? Yeah, so it's

safe to say the warehouse has not given back their $12, and they said, we've always had this policy that underwear and earrings even cannot be. Oh, yeah, right. Earrings too. Yeah. You could give earrings a dip in meth.

Methylated spirits, not meth. You're not putting pee on your earrings. No, I definitely don't. No. Although. No, no, I simply, I mustn't. From the sophisticated Zed and Think Tank, this is the top six.

30 years of Shortland Street. 30 years. I remember in media studies at high school in 1998, we were studying Shortland Street. Oh, yeah. And the teacher said, it won't last too much longer. Really? 24 years later, here we are.

I remember even at the time, it was one of New Zealand's longest running shows. Yes. Because there just hadn't been anything like it undertaken locally. When I was looking at the, you know, 30th birthday celebrations, I was like, will the day come where they just go, no, we're not going to fund it anymore? Were the neighbours RIP this year?

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought Neighbours would have faded away. But it has, yeah. Yeah, just because it wasn't raiding in Britain and apparently Britain was the massive market for Neighbours. So it lost its funding and it can't work without it. Well, some big stars have come from Shortland Street too. All of our big stars. All of the big stars have been on the street.

They've all done their time. Currently 419,000 fans on Facebook. Oh, okay. Shortland Street. As they get into their 30th year celebrations. I've got the top six storylines that Shortland Street can do next. Famously. Outrageous storylines.

Outrageous. What's the soap? It's got to be outrageous. Oh, yeah. But I'm in a hospital semi-dramatic enough. Yeah. But no, I've got the top six storylines that Shortland Street can do next. Number six.

Let's say a volcano erupts and affects Shortland Street. Yeah. Even though there'd been no previous mention of a volcano. Well, Ferndale famously built. That did happen. Has that happened? Yeah. No, that's ridiculous. Ferndale volcano. Well, Ferndale famously did happen. Has that happened? Yeah. No,

that's ridiculous. Ferndale volcano. That happened. Did it? Yeah. Well, okay, we'll move on.

I've got five more. I've got five more. Number five on the list of the toxic Shortland Street storylines that they can have a go at next. A truck crashes through the hospital

and gets all the way to like the part where the patients are, not just like hits the triage, gets into the actual... Has that happened too? I think that's happened. A truck? Yeah. How long ago did this happen?

A while back. So pre-ram raids, because that's what inspired me. Yeah. Ram raiding a hospital. But I just thought, you know, a Toyota Aqua's not going to get through her. Yeah, and I don't think it was a kid driving the truck that slammed through the hospital. It was a truck driver, was it?

Probably. I've got four more. I've got four more I've got to hit with one of these. Number four on the list of the top six storylines that Shortland Street can do next. An earthquake. You know, previously. You know, we've had plenty of those.

Really? Yeah. Okay, what if the earthquake causes an elevator lift to get stuck with two of the sexiest people to work at the hospital? Then that's happened. And then they have to get down to their knickers. Yeah, that's happened. That's happened.

God. Was it the earthquake where famously Nick was trapped under a beam but you could see it was made out of polystyrene because it was moving? Every time he was breathing, you could see the beam move, and you're like, I don't think that's concrete. That was the one where people literally called 111 to report an earthquake at Shortland Street, right? Yeah.

People are so stupid. And 111 operators were like, oh, no, hon. Hon, that's on TV. That's a TV show, hon. Okay, well, okay, maybe this one will do then. Number three on the top six storylines that Shortland Street can do next. Two characters who are in a sexual relationship turn out to be siblings. Nah, they've done that.

They've done that one. Yeah, that's happened. That's happened too. Yeah. It's pretty yuck. Yeah, it's a heap yuck. That's why I thought it's yuck. Yeah, it's happened.

It's happened. Yeah. How did New Zealand take that? We laugh at that one? Most of them laugh, but for some it was quite confronting. It's quite relatable. This one definitely won't have happened. Number two on the list of the top six storylines that Shortland Street can do next.

A big storyline about a teenager's penis. No, they've done that. They've done that. Yeah, I can't believe. Do you not remember? Please tell me this is not your penis. It was Harry's. That's penis. No, they've done that. They've done that. Yeah, I can't believe. Do you not remember, please tell me this is not your penis. It was Harry's. That's right.

Yeah. He was a teenager at the time. Yeah. Would have been a good pitch though, but yeah, they've done that. Well, imagine me pitching it. All right. Who's that?

A young boy. I've got a little story. A little man's taking a photo of his penis. Yeah, I don't. And then his dad sees it. Wouldn't. It's been done. Okay. It's been done. Okay, that's been done.

It's been done. Okay, this one hasn't been done. Okay. Number one on the list of the top six storylines that Shorten Street can do next. This one, guaranteed, hasn't been done. Ladies and gentlemen, lesbians. No, years ago, mate. What?

Years ago. Lesbians. On the forefront of lesbians. Not Lebanese. Not Lebanese people. No, no. People from Lebanon. No, lesbians.

They've done them Not Lebanese people. No, no. Not people from Lebanon. No, lesbians. They've done them. Lebanese. There have been more lesbians than Lebanese people on Shorten Street, to be fair. They've done lesbians. Yeah. Was it Maya? Maya and her partner? How did New Zealand take that one?

Oh, they loved it. Lapped it up. We loved it. Lapped it up. Was it one of those ones where they were like, oh, I'm outraged that my children would be exposed to lesbians and then when the kids are in bed, dad's loading up lesbian porn?

That sort of like public outrage, but like private. Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah, I thought it might have been. Damn it. Okay, well, I'm out of ideas. I'm out of ideas. Congratulations and happy birthday, Sean Street.

That is today's top six. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind

the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got to catch you guys up on Saturday. Saturday for me was big mulch day. I had big mulch energy. You hired a mulcher?

A big mulcher too. I've hired a mulcher before. This thing was its own, like, you just hooked it up to the tow bar and towed it. Like, this is how big it is. So this is a mulcher like Fargo. Yeah. But bigger, this thing would definitely have, I don't want to sound grim,

but I was staring in the arse end of it for like six, oh no, actually I had it from nine to five. What's that? Eight hours. Yeah. Eight hour work day. And I was staring in the arse end of it the whole six, oh no, actually I had it from nine to five, what's that, four, eight hours. Yeah. Eight hour work day. And I was staring at the arse end of it the whole day. I was like, you could definitely chuck an arm in there.

Yeah, I'm not asking for any specific reason as to whether or not a body would fit in there. Yeah. But would a like nearly seven foot man fit in there? Oh, yeah. We'll hit it. Hit up High Pole Cumu, tell them I sent you. Discount code Mulcher10. None of this will work. Yeah, but I was looking at it and I chucked some branches

and I was like, that's about the size of a thigh. Anyway, the mind wanders. The mind wanders. I mulched. And Sade, when she took the girls to the netball, said, God's sake, don't fall on that. And I said, I'm not limber enough to get in. Yeah, yeah.

I know these things happen. Was there an emergency off button? Yes, basically. It was very easy to stop. Oh, yeah, good. Very easy, even if you were inside it. Like a treadmill. You know, they've always got that big red button

for when you're a bit puffed and you're like, ah. Yeah, I'm out. Or that thing you clip onto your shirt. No one clips that on, eh? No one's clipping that on. No one clips it on. No one's doing that. The mulching went flawlessly.

I mulched. I got through all my, I even cut down a couple more trees just to put them through the mulcher. You didn't lose a finger. Didn't lose a finger, didn't lose anything. Okay. Went very well.

You were purposefully cutting down trees just to put them in the mulcher. Yeah, I was like, well, I got you another couple of hours. I might cut that down and chuck it through the mul you realize we all need trees i know there's still plenty more trees and i'm going to replant trees these things just hadn't been looked after properly so anyway anyway anyway mulching flawless didn't kill yourself didn't kill myself yesterday however i was mowing the lawns and halfway through the lawns i had to take a break and came back to it

a couple of hours later and i've got a ride on, eh? Yes. So while it was nice and light, I did all the edging. I did all the little bits and pieces and then mowing time. Right. But then I was mowing and it was getting dark. It was getting towards the end of it. I was like, I've got to get this done.

Got to get this done before I go away. And I thought today the weather was going to rain a lot, so I was like, I've got to get this done. And it was. And I thought today the weather was going to rain a lot, so I was like, I've got to get this done. And it was at that point when it was dark, I was like, oh, hold on, we've got an extension cord along the lawn here somewhere. And I stopped. And I turned on the light in my phone and I looked down and the yellow extension cord was at the front wheel of the ride-on lawnmower.

So then I looked and it was like six inches away from where the blade starts. No, no. What made you stop at that moment? At that very moment? I was like, when I was doing it earlier, I was like,

can't forget about that extension cord. And you know when you run something through your head so much, can't forget about that, can't forget about that, can't forget about that.

The minute you stop it, you forget about it. Yeah. Yes. But you try to forget about something and it's there the whole time. The other day, because I always Siri notes to myself, the minute you stop it, you forget about it. Yeah. Yes. But you try to forget about something and it's there the whole time. The other day, because I always Siri notes to myself,

the other day I was literally looking at my notes and I clicked complete. Yeah. And I was like, well, I'll do that right now. And then I forgot and did something else. And then I completely forgot about it. Even though I just clicked complete. Yeah. Because I thought, I'll do it right now.

I won't forget about it. Never pre-click complete. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have done that. No. Well I was like, I'll do it right now. I won't forget about it. Never pre-click complete. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have done that. So no, well, that was just meant. That's the reward at the end

is clicking complete. Yeah. So you've given yourself the reward without doing the mahi. Yeah. That's hot though. Yeah, I like that. That's a good feeling.

But anyway, I stopped, yeah, and I was like, oh, that extension cord I was thinking about before must be here.

And yeah, it was. So you were six inches away from running over an extension cord. Would it have killed you? Because you're on rubber tyres. I don't know. And would it have had an isolator? I'm imagining it has one of those things at the switch that clicks.

One of those things that you plug into the switch and then plug the extension cord into that. A breaker. Yeah, a breaker, a tripper, whatever it's called. And we've got a new fuse box, so it would have, like, that thing trips off easy. So this story is about how you nearly died, but actually you weren't even close to dying.

Well, no, this is how I, when I came inside and I said to Charlotte, I almost ran over that extension cord, and then I forgot that she doesn't like these fun stories about me nearly dying. No, no, no. But I like them, because it makes me sound like

sort of a modern-day adventurer. But to her, it's just... So what if it was slightly more dramatic and then like you drove over the extension cord and then it kind of like spun it around and then the extension cord went like swirling like a lasso and that's how you died? Was because it sort of wrapped itself around your neck.

Oh, like a stranglement? And I kept driving and then it just kept pulling. Yeah, that's it. That could happen also. But yeah, she doesn't like it. So then I have to justify her as to why. I come in, I'm hot with this great story about a near-death experience

and she starts telling me off. So then I have to do that thing where I was like, it wasn't that bad because of this, that, that. Yeah, right. But yeah, I'd imagine it would have tickled. It would have tickled so much. I've never had a near-death experience,

I don't think. But that's the thing, you might not know. You might go through an intersection and just keep driving and then a truck coming through the T, five seconds later the brakes failed and it flies through, but you don't see it. You didn't notice, yeah. But you were only five seconds from death.

Yeah. Or your plane lands, but you have no idea that there was a near miss on that flight there was a pigeon in it the whole time there was a pigeon in the engine you have no idea

with it's little pidgelets I don't think I've had a near death experience nah I don't think so or the good ones you don't know about they just pass you by yeah we're lucky well I was wondering this morning on i100dolls.com, or 9696, you can text in if you've had a near-death experience.

Well, it's a great start of Hayley and I haven't had a near-death experience. Yeah, so are we going to get any calls on this? Is this a possible phone-up perhaps? One third of us have. Yeah, right. So running those numbers, I reckon we'll at least get two calls. Is this a classic study where we can say, oh, we've done a study and then participants were three people?

Yes. 30% of people have had a near-death experience. An extension cord and a metal object. How close have you come to death? Did you have a near-death? Did you stomp before the extension cord before you ran it over with the lawnmower? How close were you? We want to talk about your near-death experiences. Yesterday I nearly ran over an extension cord with the lawnmower. How close were you? We want to talk about your near-death experiences.

Yesterday, I nearly ran over an extension cord with the lawnmower. Now, I'm not saying it would have killed me. It might have tickled. It might have done nothing. It could have lit me up like a Christmas tree. A light tickle. Yeah. I just thought as I approached it. We don't have extension cords across the lawn willy-nilly, by the way, and it wasn't one of those

dumb electric hover mowers on an extension cord that people had in the 90s. People were always running over the cords with those things. This is just a temporary measure because we pulled our shed down and we need to power our water pump. It's a temporary measure. For the record, I'm anti.

I'm anti-extension cords. Very dramatic day for you. Just before the break, I said I hadn't had a near-death experience, but I do remember when I was about five years old, I did swallow a 10-cent coin, and I was quite convinced that I was going to die, and so I ran into my parents' room. I was like,

I've swallowed a coin! And they were like, how did you do that? And I told them some BS about it was on the pillow, and my mouth kind of just slipped. But did you swallow it intentionally? With a glass of water? I was just sucking on it like a kid,

and then it just went down the throat, and I was like, oh, here's how I die now, I guess. It's in you. Did it ever come out? Surely. At least it's still in me. I still be rattling around. My mate Robsy swallowed a coin once,

reckon it never came out. Wow. Has he had any x-rays since? I don't know. That'll be fun for him when they do. Yeah. It'll be a clean coin. The stomach acid will be of cleaning it for 20 years. Oh yeah, be like one of those videos online where they put something in coke for 10 minutes. Yeah. Oh yeah, gorgeous.

So we want to know if you've ever had a near-death experience. Christy, what happened? So when I was about 13, I broke my arm and had to have surgery to get steel plates put in. They had a bit of a bleed out and I basically died on the table

for about 20 seconds. What? I even experienced an outer body kind of experience. Oh my God. That's something that you see on like a medical show. Like, they're like, there's a lot of blood here. They're bleeding out.

What was your outer body experience? Did you kind of see it all happen? So, basically, I like somewhat woke up looking down at myself. Like, I was on the ceiling looking down at myself. We've heard stories like this before, eh? And I'm like, what? How? But what's the actual reason that that happens?

The outer body. There's got to be like a... Oh yeah, you guys were saying it was carbon dioxide. No, it's the brain being robbed of oxygen and that's how it gets its oxygen, through the blood and then the other chemicals and stuff kick in, right? Isn't it DMT?

There's a strong DMT release when the body believes it's going to die, and that's what gives people the trips. It's the same stuff that's in psychedelics. So it's just a trip. You're not actually above yourself looking down. No, I don't believe so. Yeah, no. So obviously I'm going to hazard a guess and say you didn't die.

Yeah, just a wild guess, you know. Let her tell her story, Hayley. I was excited to see if she died. Oh, spoiler, spoiler. Spoiler, you didn't die. Wow, what an incredible story to tell, though, Christy. Yeah, I tell it all the time, and everyone's like, is it really true?

They don't believe me, but it's their own. Yeah, because you wouldn't expect if you were just getting what would be a standard operation for a possible bleed out. You know, broken arm, metal plates, bleed out. Yeah, they didn't expect it, but it's actually happened a couple of times

from surgeries. Oh, jeez. You got thin blood or something? She's a bleeder. She's a bleeder. Amazing, Christy. Thanks. You're thin blood or something? She's a bleeder. I don't know. She's a bleeder. Amazing, Christy. Thanks. You're called Serena. What was your near-death experience?

Okay, so when I was younger, my now husband was my boyfriend. Yeah. We were towing our Ford Cortina, using our Ford Cortina, Mark 3, up the climb eyes towards Taronga. Oh, Jesus. Towing the cars over the climb eyes.

Not a great idea. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's a mechanic. Don't even go there. So we were halfway up, and our car filled out. So we're halfway up. There's nowhere to go. I'm like, oh, my God, we're stuck on the climb eyes.

So he decided to drift back and move so we were horizontal over all of the lanes. Oh, Jesus. And no cars were coming, luckily. But he then decided he was going to drift start or roll start the car backwards. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Don't even mention his mechanics business. He'll go out of business overnight. So he roll started back towards the cliff. What? I'm like 19,

you know, I've had a pretty stable life. I'm like, what the fuck? Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm freaking out that we're going to roll off this cliff and die.

And so he's like, no, no, it's all good. It's all good. It'll start. And I was like, we're not going to start. We're stuck. We're stuck. We're going to roll off the cliff. But just before we hit the edge, the car started.

This is back to the future still. Obviously, we still couldn't make it quite up. So we had to drive up a little bit and then park on... There's one of the little fence things that you can park into. So we had to park in there. And then we had to bring my mum and all these people had to come and rescue us off the climb. But yeah, that's... You married this man?

Yeah, you married him. I did. And I brought him up at our wedding. Like when we were talking about our vows and stuff. Because that's one of my main memories is that he tried to kill me. Jeepers. That's a way

to start a marriage. I've got a question that's unrelated to the story. Why are you so puffed? Because it's okay and I don't really want to say it

because I just got out of the shower. Oh. What did you do in there? Absolutely. I thought maybe you'd called us mid-run or like you're at the gym. You sound like you're really exerting some. Or you're halfway at the Kaimai's and you're running up the Kaimai. My husband's just tried to kill you off a cliff.

Serena, thanks. You called Chris. What was your near-death experience? So I'm a pilot and I've had to perform three emergency landings. Jesus, you're running out of lives, mate. Slowly. I've had an engine

failure. I've had a near engine failure and the last one when I was in Australia, I was transporting some stuff in a box, which was tied down in the back, and it had some turbulence. Yeah. And then all the stuff in the box decided to come through the box

and jam the controls, and I got the aircraft under control about 300 feet off the ground. Oh, Jesus! So it's 100 metres. So you think of a rugby field, you're plummeting towards the thing, you only just get it under control, a rugby, you're plummeting towards the thing. You only just get it under control. A rugby field away from plummeting into the earth. Yeah, a bit of poo came out.

Forgiven. I'm not surprised. Absolutely forgiven. That's the thing when you're a pilot. Like, there's so much, like, out of your control. Like, the maintenance of the aircraft, right? Like, that's not on you, is it? No, no.

Like, you look at it. Yep. But, yeah, you don't. Oh, that's crazy. Amazing. is it? No, no. You look at it. Yep. But. Oh, that's crazy. Amazing. Chris, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Someone said I ate rhubarb leaves as a child.

Shut down my kidneys in 20 minutes. That's poisonous. Can you not eat rhubarb leaves? No. Hayley, stop putting them in your salad. Oh, no. My gut health issues have been explained. And the fact you've only got one kidney.

Maybe that's what keeps you alive. The other one's super strong and it can't be shut down by rhubarb leaves. Yeah. So don't do that. I was in Canada. I was going for a hike through the bush. I came face to face with a bear. It just strolled out into the park.

Oh my God. Remember that time I came face to face with a jaguar in Costa Rica? It was just a black lab. We've established that it wasn't. It was a black lab. I do have a near death experience. Yeah. Yes.

And the bear just froze. I froze. The bear looked at me, sniffed the air, and then turned its head back and kept walking. Imagine that you're not tasty. Oh yeah, insulting actually. Insulting, eh? It doesn't want to eat you.

Yeah, it's really insulting. Someone was chased by a buffalo. That's worse than the bulls? It doesn't want to eat you. Yeah. It's really insulting. Yeah. Someone was chased by a buffalo. That's worse than the bulls that they set loose in that Spanish street. Yeah. My native experience is listening to this lady wildly out of breath, and it's making me feel like I'm out of breath. I feel like I'm having a joint panic attack with her reliving a story about her trip on the carmite. 726 next on the show.

I've got an update on my hair. Everyone wants to know what's happening. We're doing another hair update. Is this number three? I think. Well, it's the third time you've had it done, eh? And I think we've talked about it. We've talked about it each time. But it's only because I put up like a question box yesterday on my Instagram

about this treatment I've been having, platelet-rich plasma treatment. And I had like over 100 questions about it. This is the same thing that which Kardashian's doing it? Kourtney did it. Wait, did she do that? I thought she just did the vampire facials. Yeah, they all do the vampire facial, which is the same thing,

which is like taking out your blood, centrifuging it, and then using just the plasma and you inject it into your face or you can inject it into like injuries and stuff. But she also did it on her head because she had a bit of a patch. So what is it,

when you do a vampire facial, what does that do for your face? Well, I mean, look, this is terrible to ask me because it's science, but it's like injecting the plasma into your head. Yeah.

Like encourages the cells to do something. Is it like a reset for the cells? It's like, hey, we're hair cells. Let's grow hair. Yeah, it's basically like by putting it like a reset for the cells? It's like, hey, we're hair cells. Let's grow hair. Yeah, it's basically like by putting it in a local spot, it encourages your body to kind of like self-heal. It sounds like hocus pocus.

There is science behind it, which I'm not really clear on. But I've been doing it because my hair has been falling out for the last, I don't know, five years or so. And it's very thin in places. Oh, don't tell me. But it's alright for you. But how has it regenerated?

Well, I mean, the main question everyone's asking about PRP for hair loss is, Hayley, is it working? And it has been for me. So I will say it's incredibly painful. You get the blood sucked out and it injects in your head

like 70 little injections over the course of half an hour. Yeah. I liken it to like getting a tattoo. If you've ever had a tattoo before, it's just that kind of like pain. It's unbearable. But I had like a bald patch at the back.

Not a shame to say. And it's gone. It's grown back completely. Wow. It's disappeared. My hairdresser went to go find it and she was like, I don't know where it is.

It's gone. Oh, that's amazing. I know. So this must be an issue for a lot of people if you get, because every time you post about this, you get so many messages. So many messages.

I mean, a lot of people, I mean, mainly I get it from women because using the vampire treatment is usually men do it when they start noticing they're losing their hair, which I guess is, I mean, it's overall more common than women losing their hair. But the messages I get from women, because I guess they don't talk about the fact that like women lose their hair as well for hormonal reasons, stress reasons, postnatal. A lot of women lose all that hair that they get to keep while they're pregnant. So yeah, lots of people asking about it. It's called PRP.

And yeah, don't quote me. Don't quote me on like what it actually does and how it works. But it's working for me. But it also, because there is a chance that it won't work for you though, isn't there? Yeah, for sure. They say, I mean, my nurse who does mine says it's working because I'm so healthy and I have such good blood. Wow, what a compliment to your blood. Yeah, thank you very much.

I'm O positive. And I did get a notification on the weekend that my blood that I donated a couple of weeks ago was used. If you donate blood, it tells you when it's used. And I heard that person is making a miracle recovery. I've heard they've got a luscious head of hair. What if, do you get to choose the person? What if they're a racist? I always thought about getting...

You choose the person who receives your blood. Yeah. I guess you could maybe put a little note on the bag. No racists, please. Imagine if you were in line for an organ transplant and they've got someone. Yeah. And they're a racist.

Are you okay with that? People are like, well, they may be racist. I don't want a racist kidney. Yeah, I don't want to. Yeah. But then maybe your kidney might. Racism is so toxic that surely it can be transferred via kidney. Yeah.

I don't know. Or your blood might make them a better person because it just kind of seeps through them. Because I'm such an incredible person. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for pointing that out. Yeah, they woke up with like a really progressive view on, like when they went under, they were like,

marriage is between a man and a woman and all that stuff. And then when they woke up, they're like, I've rethought it, you know. Like, you know, if people want to get married, if they're in love, then who are we to have gender as a barrier? Yeah, and then they're like, you know who's a really good politician? That Chloe Swarbrick. She's got some things to say. Yeah.

She seems to be in it for the right reasons, you know. Yeah. Two ticks green. Yeah. She seems to be in it for the right reasons, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Two ticks green. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Community Notices. I'm drinking water straight from a carafe this morning. You're cutting out the middleman. I don't need big mug.

I don't need big glass. I don't need big glass. I'm drinking straight from the bigger glass. A crab. And the water keeps sneaking around the side of my mouth and dribbling a little bit. Now, the tap filter at work hasn't been fixed, has it? So you're still drinking that? No, no, no, no.

I went to the other tap filter. Oh, he went... Yeah, I'm not drinking that bleach. Well, you've got to make the Waikato River white somehow. Transparent. If it's white we're in even bigger trouble. That means they've been dumping milk in it. Welcome to Community Notices, a segment where we

have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook page posts. You really struggle with the word community. Community. Welcome to Community Notices. Because I've got the N coming in Community Notices. Yeah, lots of syllables trip you up, don't they? Yeah.

They're real hard to say. This one from the Rollison Community page. So Neil had this very aggressive note popped in their letterbox. Mow your lawn, all underlined. It's an eyesore on the entire street. If you want to live like you have no respect for yourself, then move to the other side of Rolleston. You'll fit in perfectly.

Oh, wow. Okay. That's charged, isn't it? Do we have a picture of the lawn? No. But Sunil writes, I'm just addressing this, who stuck it in my letterboxd today, I appreciate your concern for the street,

but I feel like you could have maybe knocked on the door or checked on us. I just let you know, over the last few weeks, at some stage or another, every member of our family has had COVID and have been going through a tough time. Feeling very ill and not able to mow the lawn, which is quite an undertaking. I'll try to mow the lawn since you're concerned about the entire street and not my health. So you don't know what people are going through, you know? Yeah. to mow the lawn since you're concerned about the entire street and not my health. Aww. So then you go, you don't know what people

are going through, you know? Yeah. There was another news article of someone who got a note saying that they, you know, mow your lawn and their wife was like

in hospital after having complications with birth and he was like, I can't at the moment. Yeah. Yeah. People are just assholes,

aren't they? Yeah, get to know your neighbour, you know? Maybe if their lawn's unmowed you'll know why and then maybe you could even help them out by mowing it. Yeah. Yeah. People are just assholes, aren't they? Yeah, get to know your neighbour, you know? Maybe if their lawn's unmowed, you'll know why, and then maybe you could even help them out by mowing it. Yeah. If you've got the time to write a note. By the way, their handwriting was really yuck.

Like, take some pride in yourself. If you're going to write an aggressive note, if you're going to write an aggressive note, at least do some nice printing. Yeah. We're still down in Christchurch. This is the Avonhead Rustling Community page. Elizabeth has posted on the page.

Okay. I can't actually believe I'm writing this because it's so feral and disgusting. I put my yellow and green bin out last night, as per usual. I'll pause there. What is the yellow and green bin for? Because it's different around...

Yellow in Auckland is recycling, right? And green is green waste. I've got a yellow and green bin, and it's our recycling bin. So I don't know what it is in Christchurch. Organics is the green bin. Organics, maybe. Yeah, and yellow is... Because I know they've got a big bin.

They've got a three-bin system in a lot of parts of Christchurch, don't they? Yes. See me waiting for you to find an answer. Send me waiting for someone to text message in. It takes great pride in there. It's like Wellington who still separate their glasses and cardboard. Yeah.

It looks like it's a green bin. It looks like it's a green bin. Let's take green as being organics then. I put my green and yellow bin out last night as per usual. Nothing was wrong with either bin but during the night or earlier this morning some sick individual has come along and either used my

green bin as a toilet to do a huge horrendous runny poo or else they've tipped it into the bin. It was all over the handle and the lid and the inside of the bin and it made me gag. Oh, my God, that's disgusting. It made them rich.

Question, though. If someone was walking past your bins and they had a moment, an explosive bowel movement, would you want them to do it on your footpath or in your bin? How tall is the bin? How did they get up on the bin? It's a full-size wheelie. The green bins are, if you're going to pop a squat on a green bin with a green lid.

You'd go the smallest green one. You'd go the small one. But even then, you've got to balance up on top of that, don't you? Anyway, they said they rang the council about it, and they said they can't do anything. And personally, now I want a new bin after that because, ooh, hygiene. I'm hoping this isn't some new feral prank that's going to happen to other people. Watch your bins.

Yuck. I've just heard from Christchurch, yellow recycling, green organics, red rubbish. Oh yeah, same as Auckland. So at least they didn't shit all over their recycling, did they? They put it in the organics with maybe the grass clippings or the rose trimmings.

It all goes in the same hole anyway. Where am I tipping my leftover paint? Still down the drain? As long as it doesn't drain to the sea. If it's got a dolphin or a turtle on that, don't pour it down there. Oh, right, okay. You tip paint down the drain

like you do oils and fats. It all just goes down the drain. And wet wipes. And all my car batteries are off the wharf, right? Correct. Yeah, yeah, off the wharf. Well, how else are the dolphins

going to power things, you know? They need a foot up. Okay, good you know? They need a foot up. Okay, good to know. They need a foot up. This one from the Tatahi Bay community page, Rena writes, I just want to let everybody know I've just been to the skinny Krishna Bay food market on Tipanay Street for a dollar mix

and included in the dollar mix of lollies were two Vicks lozenges. Two Vicks vapor drop lozenges. That sounds like the Vicks vapor drops are expiring and the dairies chuck them in the dollar mix. Pop them in the little baggie. Not lollies. I mean, it's timely if everyone's getting sick at the moment.

Couldn't help to have a couple on hand. Not lollies, but also it says on the pack, not recommended for under sixes. WTF. I don't know if cough lollies would tick the box, to be totally honest. Not cool. And finally, today from a Brisbane listener, Celeste says, from Brisbane, listen to the podcast.

Mate found this on Airtasker, which is like jobs in your neighbourhood. So you'd say, I live here, I can mow lawns, and then everyone else that had ticked their jobs and mowed lawns in the area would say, this is a job available and this is how much I'm willing to pay. That's a good idea. It's a great idea. Do we have something like that here in New Zealand? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That website, that skill sharing website where like you do something for me and I teach you something? Oh yeah, a little bit of back scratching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My skill is back scratching, so it's great.

I scratch their back and then teach them to scratch mine. Yeah, I don't know if you want to just go around to someone's house and scratch their back. Well, listen to this. Yeah, it's a little intimate to be fair. This task price is $150 and it is in Debing Heights, Queensland, Australia. So long story short, I want someone to come to our house either selling something or saying you're a neighbour

and want to come in and have a chat about something important. Then I want you to try to have sex with my partner. Cuckolding. No, it's a test. It's the unfaithful. It's a test. I want you to try and have sex with my partner and see if he goes for it or not.

On a side note, you get paid and may get a good time out of it. Due date flexible. How do you knock on someone's door and then try to get them to have sex with you? Wait, so you're allowed to have sex with them if they say yes? By the sounds of it. Oh, okay. Because this person needs this final judgment.

What if an absolute 10 takes up this job offer? A 10 who needs honey fitting. A 10 who needs $150 and then like you're setting yourself up for failure here. I need to know how hot the guy is though because I don't want to knock on the door with it. Like I don't want to get there and be like 150

and he opens the door and he's a $500 task. Yeah. Like he's an overgrown back garden. It's going to take a lot more effort. It's a lot of effort there. There's weeds. You've got a small lawns to mow and you're like,

I can do a small lawns and you turn up and it's three acres of bush, you know? Is that a thing in a marriage with a prenuptial or a divorce thing? If there's cheating, you don't have to pay as much? Yeah, you can put clauses, eh? You can put clauses to them. Like you get this unless it's caused by you cheating on me. But what about this is entrapment, Your Honour? Yeah, but how do you prove that?

Well, there's a literal screen cap of it. I've got it right here. We'll put it on New Zealand Radio. She had to register for the account. So I guess I'd love to know. Follow up, Celeste. If there was any follow up on that one, Celeste, if you listen to this on the podcast, please do let us know.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page or task or whatever's happening in your neighbourhood, screen cap it and send it to us. We are FVHZM on all the socials. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. But being told I've got to be brief with this, so I'm going to give you a long story in a short form.

Great. Watch this. We'll believe that when we see it. Watch this. You tell me how long I've got. You tell me how long I've got. You tell me how long I've got and I'll start my timer and that's exactly how long I'll take to tell the story. You've already wasted 30 seconds. Tell me. Give me a time. You've got a minute.

Okay, one minute. Okay, so Saturday I was saying I had a big day on the mulcher. I got to the end of the day and my body was aching so I had myself a hot bath. Now when I was in the hot bath. Oh, what did you did you have a bath bomb? I don't have time. There was no mulcher. I got to the end of the day and my body was aching, so I had myself a hot bath. Now, when I was in the hot bath. Oh, what did you, did you have a bath bomb? I don't have time. There was no bath bombs. I was living.

My children used the bath bomb and then left the bag in the drawer, so I opened it up expecting to be able to have a delicious bath bomb, and there was no bath bomb. 19 seconds. So when I was in the bath, I was having myself a lovely cider. Now, I don't usually go for a cider, but I felt like something sweet and tangy. So I had a cider, Fijoa flavor. Now, I know who else loves Fijoa, Willa Henvest and his mum.

So I was like, this is delicious. Willa would love this. I had the bottle there, and I went to take a photo to send to Willa straight in the chat. I was just going to take it straight in the chat and send it to Willa. Yeah, right. The forward-facing camera was on, and I took a photo of myself in the bath. And I nearly sent it to Willa Henvest. Like, literally

it was in there and I was about to click send. I was like, Jesus! And I panicked. I almost dropped my phone in the bath. I deleted that photo, spun it around, took a photo of the Fijar cider, sent it to Willa and she nearly saw a picture of my nipples and my penis. The end. Was he on time? Did he make that? 60 seconds?

I tried to derail him. I tried, I tried. Was he on time? Wow. Did he make that? 60 seconds? Exactly 60 seconds. Yeah. I tried to derail him. That was exactly 60 seconds. I tried. I tried. Executive intern Anna, goodness me. Yeah. This would have been horrifying.

I was at family dinner with mum on Saturday night, and I'm really glad that we didn't see your penis pop up. It was so close. It would have been popping up too, because they pop in the laugh. Because they float. No, it was horrible Because I was hunched over

To take a photo I was like I looked like Like a watery Hairy Like a sasquatch That had fallen in the swamp You said I had 60 seconds

And now we're well over So play the things For the record I stuck to 60 seconds No, we're well over, so play the things. He's always grumpy because we rushed him. For the record, I stuck to 60 seconds. You're the ones that are dragging him on now. It was a thin story. We've got to pan it out. Yeah, I feel like you could have had a bit more, you know, like...

You told me I had 60 seconds, and I told you I just boom, boom, boom. I had it. There was no smells. There was no... You didn't paint the picture for us. I had 60 seconds. I gave people... The only picture you did paint was you as a hairy sasquatch

with your willy bobbing in the bath. Yeah. Oh, the balls bob more than the willy for me. I don't know if my boy and balls are visual enough for you. Because they'd push up the member from underneath. They kind of go around. Oh, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Hey, just asking for a friend. It's our new segment, Asking for a Friend. We ask you if there's something you want to ask for a friend. I mean, we all know you're asking for yourself, but you just say asking for a friend, obviously. Yeah, you want to be a little bit more anonymous or maybe it's an awkward thing, a sexy thing, who knows?

And this one that we've been sent by a listener is a little bit cryptic. So see if you can figure it out. They've asked us, how do I ask my best friend if she's in love with her best friend even though she has a husband? AKA me.

Yes, AKA me. How do I ask my best friend if she's in love with me even though she has a husband? AKA me. Yes, AKA me. How do I ask my best friend if she's in love with me even though she has a husband? Now, I'm going to guess that's all we've received on behalf of a friend. That's all we've received. So we don't know what the signs are.

That's led her to believe that maybe there is a chance she's in love with her best friend and her best friend's in love with hers. They're flirting, hand-holding. Or is she just absolutely, like, seeing something that's not there? Exactly. But then it could be difficult

because this woman's, you know, married. She's got a husband. This is awkward because this has happened to Fletch and I. He thought I was in love with him, even though I have a husband. This is awkward because this has happened to Fletch and I. He thought I was in love with him even though I have a wife. I know. And I misread the sequence. He tried to kiss me. I kissed him back.

I kissed him back because I'm a gentleman. Let's stop the listening. Let's dive into this. I just admired his courage to be totally honest. He went for it and that's what I think life's all about. Yeah. And then we thought well we've got to keep this. We've got to work together.

We've got to work together. We have zero other tangible skills. And if it goes bad and we separate, and we're one of those red-haired couples that separate but stay on air together, and you can just, like, really feel the despise, the mutual despise of each other. I'd probably broadcast from a separate studio, to be honest. I don't know if I could stand...

I'd just broadcast from home. Yeah. You'd move to Thailand or something and just broadcast from there. A happy man. Absolutely. Yeah. Wait, who? Which one of us?

Both of us? I reckon... No, you're in New Zealand with your family. Or could if we both went to Thailand. Yeah. Oh! Okay, yeah. That's right.

That's right. We are... We both go to Thailand. We are New Zealand's longest running radio couple though now. We've been the longest radio couple. Congratulations. Thank you. I was just having a drink of water.

I wasn't choking back emotion. It sounded like you were. So, okay, the interesting situation, and this is what- Really interesting situation. Obviously, like, very touchy because you don't- the person that's emailed in, she obviously doesn't want to break up a marriage if there's no

reason to. You can't take it back either. I know once it's... Once you bring it out. Exactly. So our new segment, Asking for a Friend, we want you to chip in. What do you think? Have you ever been in a situation where you've fallen for your best friend and

did you say something or have you just left it? Yes and like if you call or message us and tell like maybe you shot your shot and you took the risk and you said I think you're in love with me and I'm in love with you and then maybe you're together Oh yeah and it's all worked

out. Yeah it was the right thing to do It's an added layer though because it's obviously a same sex feeling here. Yes, it is. And does she even feel the same way? She's in a heterosexual relationship. Yes, so this is from

our listener is a female with a female best friend who is married to a man. So yeah, there's a lot to unpack here. So if you've been through something similar or maybe it's been done to you. Maybe you were married to a man. So yeah, there's a lot, a lot to unpack here. So if you've been through something similar or maybe it's been done to you, maybe you were married to someone and they got swooped up by their best friend.

Okay, and just some advice. 0800 DARS.M right now is the number. You can text 9696. She wants to know, how do I ask my best friend if she's in love with me, even though she's married? Just asking for a friend. Asking for a friend.

Wink. Not. Wink, wink, wink. So we asked on Instagram, what do you want to ask for a friend? Man, we got some juicy responses. So good. Some that will honestly never see the light of day, obviously, for obvious reasons. Some have been forwarded onto our legal team.

Nah. But this one was quite juicy, and we thought we'd start the new segment, Asking for a Friend, with this one. Yeah, this is from a non-female, anonymous female. How do I ask my best friend if she's in love with her best friend, a.k.a. me, even though she has a husband? It's a toughie. And that's all the info we got.

We don't know if there are any signs, if there's been flirting. If they've ever had a little drunken kiss. A little drinky kiss. You never know. But so we asked you to chime in if you've been through a similar situation or even if you've

just got a piece of advice. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. Now, do you have any advice? Have you been in this situation? So I was the friend with the long-term boyfriend. Yeah. And then I made my best friend.

And then I was like, oh, gosh, I think I might be in love with her so I just basically got rather intoxicated one night shot my shot gave her a kiss, it was actually out of the blue like I think she was quite unexpecting of it

and broke up with my boyfriend, we've been together eight years, got married last year. Oh, that must be so happy. Okay. Just like that. And so if you, I mean, you were in the other seat, I guess, of the friendship, but if you had any advice

for our anonymous listener, what would you say? Well, I mean, as a closeted human, you generally get pretty good at reading the signs of when to have a go and not. So I would probably trust my gut but know that you could lose

that friendship. But I'm like, if you're going to live your life, you know. You could lose the friendship or you could be in a beautiful eight-year relationship and maybe the happiest you've ever been. Exactly. Anonymous, if you're going to live your life, you know. You could lose the friendship, or you could be in a beautiful eight-year relationship and maybe the happiest you've ever been. Exactly.

Anonymous, thank you. We are hearing from the other side of that. People did shoot their shot, but then it's ruined the friendship, hasn't it? It has. I declared my innocent gay love for another woman who was giving off similar vibes, and they told me they were straight.

I had not been indicated that at all during our friendship. Months of feelings. I love that they call it innocent gay love. My innocent not been indicated that at all during our friendship. Months of feelings. I love that they call it innocent gay love. My innocent gay love. Rather than that guilty gay love. Yeah. Which is the hotter type, I assume. Months of feelings and trying to work it out.

And while they were very kind to me, I was absolutely mortified. So, yeah. I mean, they, previous caller said, trust your gut. They did, didn't they? Yeah. And it didn't work out for them. I was in exactly the same situation. I fell in love with my bestie, who was married to a man. Very long and complicated, but we got ourselves

into some not great situations. She was split from him briefly, which had nothing to do with me, but eventually decided our friendship was worth more to us. She got back with her husband. We're still best friends, and our friendship is stronger than it ever was. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through.

Wow. Yeah. Someone said, don't call me back. I was in love with my bestie and him with me. He left his girlfriend of 13 years, and now we're married. It all happened after I decided I couldn't sit back and watch anymore, so I tried to leave and he followed.

Go for it, girl. Just ask. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah. I know. Me and my best friend got married the same day in GV. Gloryvale? Well, maybe. Is it Gloryvale?

GV. I hope it's Gloryvale. Gizmon Vineyards. Oh, the Gizmon Vineyards. Or Gloryvale. Gorgeous, gorgeous. I think last time I asked what does GV mean, people said it's Gloria Vale. Gizmon Vineyards. Oh, the Gizmon Vineyards. Or Gloria Vale. Gorgeous, gorgeous. I think last time I asked what does GV mean, people said it's Gloria Vale.

Yeah. Yes. Okay. Me and my best friend both got married the same day in GV. We both loved each other like we'd sit on each other's knees during movies in front of our wives. Okay, it's definitely Gloria Vale. And they just thought it was cute.

They have messaged it again saying it was Gloria Vale. Wow, okay. I can see why they aren't there anymore. That sort of thing doesn't marry up. Yeah, do you think there's a lot of sort of secret same-sex relationships in Gloria Vale? What was that, same-sex? Yeah, it was same-sex. Oh, yeah, wow, okay.

Yeah, they would sit on each other's knees during movies. Good book. Turn that book into a film. And turn the film into a Netflix series. Yes. And then turn the Netflix series into a book and then turn that book into a film. Yeah.

And then definitely do a prequel. Yes. 100%. 100%. Got drunk. Kissed her. Broke up with my long-term boyfriend. Got married last year.

There's another one of those situations. So it does work. Pardon me? No, no, you keep carrying on. I said me, a 24-year-old male, fell in love with my best friend of 10 years, female, shot my shot, got rejected, ruined our friendship, but c'est la vie.

Yeah, you've got to try. They listened to some Bewitched at the end there, which is great. That'll see you right. Bewitched heals all. It does. Or does it make it worse? Well, that's your horrible take on Bewitched.

Someone said, don't be a home wrecker. She's married. Yeah, but if you're getting vibes, I think that's the general vibe, right, is like, look, you might ruin everything, but there's everything to gain. Some people say I look like me dad. I'm quite like him.

That's the line, eh? Some people say I look like my dad. I'm quite like him too. Yeah, see, I'm wrong in wanting to play this now. I just, I just, if you've just gone through a horrible breakup, you don't want to hear this. It's here to come for tea. Don't be shy. Straighten up your tie. Get down from the treehouse sitting in the sky. through a horrible breakup. You don't want to hear this. I think we've got to play it now.

Oh yeah, just let it run. Let it run. The people have spoken. Let it run. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go, here we go. Say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do what I don't say you do I'll be the queen and you'll be the king Hey boy, in your tree Throw down your ladder, make a room for me I got a house with windows and doors I'll show you mine and show me yours

Gotta let me in Hey, hey, hey Let the fun begin Hey, I'm the host today Hey, hey, hey I'll hop, I'll pop I'll hop, I'll pop I'll hop, hop, hop, hop Blow you away

Say you won't Say you'll do what I don't Say you will Say you will Yeah Say la vee Say you will Say you will

Say you'll do what I don't Say you will Say la vee What do you like? Say la vee What I don't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you'll do what I don't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't say you won't Say you'll do what I don't Say you'll choose, say you'll be Wanna say, say nothing

Say you will, say you won't Say you'll do what I don't Say you'll choose, say you'll be Say you'll be Well, we couldn't not play that song, could we? Bewitched, Sailor B, ZM. We honoured that through and through. Amazing.

Some people have messaged in, demanded to play it. Yeah. So we just had to. Yeah. Someone said, where's this been on Friday Flashback? That has been on Friday Flashback.

It has, yeah. A long, long time ago. Absolute banger. Yeah. Monday musings. Thank you for your messages in, Ree. Asking for a friend. Asking for a friend.

I'll just, we'll finish off with this one. This really tickled Fletcher's fancy over that song from Be Witched. I just can't believe Be Witched. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. See I didn't take part Just in case I was delayed And I would have Thrown you off I know I Yeah On the way out See if you can do it Hayley

No it's impossible No but you You tried to do it From home and failed miserably But you also lack Basic rhythm Or musical tone No it wasn't to do

With Fletcher's rhythm It's impossible It's the internet It's the timing You're on your own A quarter of a beat ahead I believe in you Hayley broadcasting

From home today Not because of COVID The great Cookie Cookie Bake Off The cookie and cake show The cookie and cake show A quarter of a beat ahead, I believe in you. Hayley broadcasting from home today. Not because of COVID, the great cookie... The cookie and cake show. The cookie and cake show. The great New Zealand cookie and cake slice. Sometimes... Oh, sometimes they do a slice.

Cake show is coming back. There you go. So today's fact of the day is in 2016, Kazakhstan didn't think New Zealand was a country. Do you remember this happening? In 2016? In 2016? In 2016, Chloe Phillips Harris at the age of 28 in 2016. So she would be, if she was 28 then, that's six years ago.

She'd be 34. Great maths! I don't know why that matters. I just like to think about what Chloe's been doing between the ages of 28 and 34. Was this on our OE? Yeah. She arrived at Kazakhstan's Almaty Airport

and was told she made some inquiries, obviously going to a country that has not oft travelled, as to how she would get there. The New Zealand embassy said they recognise New Zealand passports so you can just rock in. Yeah. Is this the country that David Ferry went to on that tourist show with the big hole that's always on fire?

No. Is that Kazakhstan? Is that the one that was always on fire? No, that big... Oh, the devil... Yeah, the... The gateway to hell's gateway. But then also that big city with the big monuments

and the empty streets. That was Uzbekistan. Oh, that's Uzbekistan. Right. With the president. One of the stans. Yeah, one of the stans. But when she got there, they said, actually, you can't enter Kazakhstan because you need an Australian passport.

And she said, I'm not Australian, though. I'm a New Zealander. And they said, New Zealand is a state of Australia. You can't travel on your state passport. You have to travel on your country's passport. She said New Zealand isn't a state of Australia. And she said she was even being interrogated in a room with a map of the world on it, but it was one of those maps of the world without New Zealand on it.

Oh, wow. She's like, we're there, we're there. And they say, well, obviously not because you're not because there's no country there. It's a blank piece of ocean. If there was a country there, we would obviously know about it. Yeah. But they did not.

She said she realised too late she probably had to pay her way out of the tricky situation. More and more police officers got involved, she said, but obviously I've never been interrogated with the idea of just paying my way out of trouble before so yeah she ended up being okay but she's not in a Kazakhstan prison

or anything anymore she got through but yeah they refused to believe that New Zealand was a country very rude very rude because we're down here doing New Zealand stuff like eating fish and chips. Making movies. Shearing sheep and making Hollywood blockbusters.

So today's fact of the day is in 2016, Kazakhstan officials refused to acknowledge New Zealand as a country. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. So this has been happening a little bit lately. I know I'm incompetent in many areas of life, but I also weaponise my uselessness. Yeah. But last night, Sade said to me, can you make up the single bed?

Can you make up August's bed? The sheets are in the dryer. Okay. And I said, yeah, cool. So I went to the dryer, picked out the sheets, and went into the bedroom and started making the bed. This is a simple enough task for you. I actually make a great bed when I put my mind to it.

What kind of corners do you do? Do you shove or do you hospital? No, no, yeah. I always go under at the end first and then lift each side and go in the side. Is that technically a hospital? Like a burrito. Yeah. I mean, you're folding it.

So then I'm in there. The bottom one's a fitted sheet. Easy peasy. Yep. Just fitted sheet on and on. And then I noticed Sade standing at the door. And she said, I think you've got that fitted sheet around the wrong way. There's no wrong way.

There's no wrong way. There's a tag. And I generally go tag at the bottom. What do you mean? A tag that sticks out? No, there's a tag on the inside. Oh, that doesn't matter. Exactly.

You'd never see it. It doesn't matter. But in my mind, that's one thing I've got to do. I've got to put that in generally the bottom right-hand corner of the bed. Yeah. She said, I think you've got that on the wrong way. I said, I don't. What do you mean?

And she's like, where was the tag? I was like, I'm not even going to tell you where the tag was. Because this is, I'm doing this. Scoot. Yeah. And I was like, why did you ask me to do this, to stand at the door and tell me I'm doing it wrong? And then she walked away. Yeah. And I was like, why did you ask me to do this? To stand at the door and tell me I'm doing it wrong? And then she walked away. Yeah.

And then she came back. I'd flicked the sheet on. Yeah. And I tucked it under at the end. And then the sides. Oh, good tuck. Yeah, great tuck. A tight tuck. And I'd even done it so the top of the sheet was right at the top of the bed because then I like to do a fold back. Oh, you're saying.

Yes, lovely, lovely. I'm a bit of a sheet blanket duvet fold sheet. Oh no, wait, you put the sheet over the duvet? No, over the blanket and then the duvet's over the top. Keeps it all together. Keeps it tight. So then I put the sheet on and I've tucked it in and she comes back past

and she's like, have you got that sheet upside down? I was like, hey, there is no upside down for a sheet. No, there is on a sheet, on a top sheet, because there's the little lip at the top, you know? It's got like an extra bit. Seam bit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. She was accusing me of having, because I like to put the fluffier side down. Yes, so you can feel it. Against the bodies, because you feel the fluffier side. Yeah. Oh, so this was a flannelette sheet. Yes.

Okay. And then she said, you've got the sheet upside down. I said no, I don't. And she looked and she like, oh no, you're right. I was like, again, off. Back off. You've asked me to do this. I'm making a tight bed. So then blanket.

This sounds incredibly frustrating. But I do this to Aaron all the time as well. Yeah, why? I don't know. It's like you want them to Aaron all the time as well. Yeah, why? I don't know. It's like you want them to do it the way you do it. So like I don't want to do it but I want it to be done the way that I would do it. I don't do it with cleaning stuff but I do it with cooking. So I'll be like, you cook.

And you'll be like, okay. And then I'll be like, oh, you're doing that all wrong, mate. But why didn't you just cook? Just don't ask. I don't want to cook. I want to be cooked for. You're spending all the time there. You may as well be doing it.

You've just weaponized your incompetence, Fletch. Yeah, but you're being a bitch. Back off. Let the man cook. So then this is how I do my blanket and my duvet. I put the blanket on. I pull the bed away from the wall. It's a bed that goes against the wall.

Yeah. I pull the bed away from the wall, the blanket and the duvet go on. It's at that stage that I say to August, you push that down and then you shove it in against the wall and that'll hold it nice and tight. Yeah. I'm going to tuck the blanket in on this side, but the duvet doesn't get tucked in. And then I said, watch, I said, you jump in that. Yeah.

She jumped in and I gave it another little tuck. I was like, how's that for like a bed? And she's like, it's so snug. It's so tight. I said, shut up. Come here. And I said to August, I was like, tell your mother. Have you ever slept in a better made bed?

And she eyeballed her and she said, I don't think I have. So the power has completely shifted. There's been a huge power shift. I think you've got out of making that beard ever again too. Because I'm so damn good at it. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Do you remember that time, Vaughan,

that executive intern Anna and Georgia had worked drinks without us? Do you remember that time? I do. We weren't invited? I do, yeah. Do you remember that? I think there's been multiple times. multiple times i've seen all the producers

having them having a party and we never got an invite hmm jared were you invited or was it uh i i don't think so oh my god this is oh this is it's a gender guys money we're in the money okay because a woman in the uk UK wasn't invited to work drinks and she got nearly $150,000 New Zealand dollars. Who paid it? The company? The company. Okay, so you're in on this.

We'll cut you in. You say, yeah, the company told us not to invite them. Okay. Girls only. Yep. Boys are horrible. Okay, but according to this, the woman felt shunned by colleagues

when they claimed they talked about the social gathering in front of her. So, yeah, you're going to have to say, well, we've got this amazing party this weekend. Vaughn and I would never turn up in the first place. That's an invite that counts as a thought that counts. I'm a safe invite. Because you know I'm

not coming. Yeah. True but what if there's one time where you're like actually you know what I will show face and we're like oh that guy

Vaughn's coming now. It's still going to be only like one in 50. True. So apparently she was the only one in the workplace. It doesn't sound like

a big workplace. It wasn't invited to the Latin American restaurant and cocktail bar next door. Oh I know. Don't you dare go out for Latin American food without me. But what if she's just not friends with them?

What if they don't even yarn? That's the thing. If you work with them, it wasn't like an official works drink. It just looked like the staff going out after they finished their shift. She might have been sick that day, and then she's like, oh, they didn't invite me? And that was a big to-do. No, she was there.

She was at work. Oh, wow. They left work together, leaving her there to turn the lights off. And they talked about it in front of her as well. But yeah, the company ruled it as victimisation and she was awarded 75,000, so just under 150,000 New Zealand dollars. Okay, I'll take that. In the UK.

But yeah, if you want to do an inside job. Set it up. But you've got you want to do an inside job. Set it up. But you've got a record of not going to parties. And there's also this audio recording right now that would be used in court. Yeah. I'd just get Johnny Depp's lawyer. Everyone loves her. She seems to be.

Do you want your personal life dragged up like Amber Heard and Johnny Depp though? No, because I'm always taking a dump in the bed. I don't need everybody talking about that. Yeah.