ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 23rd September 2022

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Do a leap, I'm trying to more, we're hurting, do a feature. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Juan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Maccas to be in to win. And for our international listeners, this coming Monday's podcast will not exist. What? I know. We'll skip straight to Tuesday, New Zealand time. Monday, Southern and Northern Hemisphere time because it's the Queen's long weekend.

The Queen's, what are we calling it? Memorial Day. The Memorial Day long weekend. So Monday in New Zealand will be a public holiday. We will not be required to work. We need time to mourn. We do need time to mourn. You losers thought having a republic was pretty cool, didn't you?

Wow, who's getting it out for Monday, nerds? Who's getting the holly holiday? Nah, just kidding. You guys have done great, and I think one day we should be ready to follow in your footsteps. Yeah, one day when we grow up, we'll be a republic, won't we? Yeah. One day. One day.

But now we've got a new daddy for now. Yeah, I don't know about a new daddy. I just have to see. I like old daddy. I like old mummy the best. I like mum. Mum was called... Old daddy. Old daddy was I like old Mummy the best. I know. Mum was called... Old Daddy was a little bit wasist,

but he was old, you know, old, old. So, you know, you can be slightly tolerant of it maybe a little bit more than a modern Daddy. His finger's puffy. I won't like it. New Daddy's got fatty fingers. For sure. Weird.

It's weird. Well, we've got Monday off. I was taking the day off anyway. I applied for annual leave and I was approved. And now it's been declined because I don't need it. It's been very fortuitous. Fortuitous? Fortuitous?

I don't reckon. Because I was going to take the day off anyway. Because I have to get home. Yeah. Why are you grinning? Universally agreed in the producer's booth that what we just did with the kids' voices was yuck. It was yuck.

It was very yuck. It was yucky. I don't want to get even you.' voices was yuck. It was yuck. It was very yuck. It was yucky. I don't want to get either of you. It was very yucky. It was yucky. Stop it. Definitely stop it.

So gross. You actually have, and for Australian listeners, this is pretty big, you are hosting. Have you been paying attention Australia? Yeah, so that film's

on Sunday, on air on Monday. So I'm hosting it. I'm flying over tomorrow, hosting it, and then I have to fly home on Monday, which is why I was taking the day off. Yeah. But now I just lose that day, because it's so stupid, isn't it? Like, when you fly home from Australia.

It's a whole day ridden off, really. Even though it's a three-hour flight, because you lose two in the sky. Yeah, totally. And if you're in an airport at six o'clock in the morning, it's already like nine o'clock here. I know. And then, you know, a couple hours at the airport, it's bloody lunchtime, and then you're at an airport at 6 o'clock in the morning, it's already like 9 o'clock here. I know. And then, you know, a couple hours at the airport, it's bloody lunchtime,

and then you're on a flight that's four hours, it's in the afternoon, you get home an hour, piss farting around at this end. I know. I mean, I don't want to. It just becomes a lot of angry white man noise at that stage. And then before you know it, you're in your late 60s, 70s, your partner's dead.

I know, and you're all alone. And you're all alone. And you think, what have I got left? Your children aren't talking to you. I'm not having children. You can't afford your Ryman. Do you know what I have done to combat this absolute sadness of the situation that my day off has ruined? Oh, yeah.

I've booked in a groom at the airport for the old Mazda. I thought you were about to say a groom at the airport for the old girl. No, she's groomed. She's groomed. She's groomed. Keep her tidy. Like an airport kind of fanny laser or something.

Yeah, I don't know if they've got a fanny station at the airport. It'd be great if you had some time at the airport, you know, going on holiday, got away on your time and you forgot to wax

before you went and you could just pop in. Yeah, get the old... Oh, I don't know. Do you want to be sitting with your legs all like akimbo? You've got to time it right. Yeah. It's got to be fresh enough that it lasts. Yeah, get the old. Oh, I don't know. Do you want to be sitting with your legs all like a kimbo? You've got to time it right.

Yeah. It's got to be fresh enough that it lasts. Yeah. But not so fresh that it's still sticky and like sore. Yeah. I'll give you a wipe down afterwards. No, no. Some tea tree oil.

I'm getting my. Yeah, they do. Burn sometimes though, especially in intimate regions. My flaps are pretty hardy. Leathery. I've heard they're leathery He's got leathery old flaps Let's not

Let's leave I apologise to the podcast listeners For Vaughan's leathery old flaps Enjoy the potty Have a great weekend We'll catch you back With Tuesday's podcast Next week

Thank you podcast next week. Play ZN's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. It's a crazy Friday. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Welcome to Vaughn. Which show are we being welcomed to?

The show that Vaughn just put on or? Well, you just took your hoodie off and wow, we both got full nips there. Hard nips. Are they nips, aren't they? Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's good. I think it's the air con in here. I'm happy with the hard nips. Yeah, nips always look better.

The day my nips can't go hard, the day I bloody ship myself off to a Ryman. See if I can't get medicated for a soft nip. Yeah, right. Soft nip syndrome. Yeah. Can you get nipple Viagra? I don't know.

You just get a bit of deep heat on them. You're looking forward to a long weekend. I know it's sad circumstances. We get a long weekend, but you fell asleep this morning. I'd happily lose a royal a week if it meant Monday off with me. Oh, my gosh. Don't curse the family. Tear through the lot of them.

Andrew's next. No one would miss him. The last can be right off. I don't think we're getting a public holiday. For Andrew, no. Wow, no deal. Well, no. You fell asleep on the way to work.

I didn't tell people that. Today's the closest I've ever come to falling asleep driving to work. In the eight and a half years we've been doing this. How long did you, what time did you go to bed last night? No, not late. Just tired. Just tired. I'm just tired. Just life.

Just life. Life's tiring. Life's good, but life's tiring. Will you rest up this weekend, please? Yeah, I will. Good. Just having nice little dreams about mini tractors. Yeah, you love those, don't you?

I do love mini tractors. Let's have a little dream about that. Little tractors. Coming up on the show today, Secret Sound is back. We'll do those guesses at 7, 8, and a cue jumper at 9. But not only that, today we kick off soon the Friday Jams Live Blitz. So every hour from 7 until 5 this afternoon, we're going to give you the chance to win a double pass to Friday Jams Live,

which is 13th of November. The lineup, as you know, amazing. Macklemore, Akon, TLC, Craig David, Ashante, Shaggy, Jay Sean, and more. So after seven... And we're there. Yeah. And we're there. I'm so excited for this.

So am I. First one, post-pandemic, Western Springs. It's going to be a huge crowd. Post-pandemic. Listen out for the's going to be a huge crowd. Post-pandemic. Listen out for the activator. It'll tell you to call. The first one after 7 o'clock this morning. The top six on the way.

The search on for a new James Bond. They've said it will not be Idris Elba. That's been the rumour for years, right? So what they've said is the next one isn't going to be for a couple of years, and then they want someone to commit for 10 to 12 years to the role. So it's had to be someone who's got 10 to 12 years in them. Yeah. Whereas Idris is quite, what, he'd be mid-40s?

He's washed up, yeah. He's washed up. He's a dog. He's Hollywood geriatric. Yeah, he is. I mean, look, I'm a feminist. I hope they don't do a Jeanette Bond, am I right? We'll just make it just Jeanette Bond.

Just make a... Jamie Bond. You just make your own... Just make a better female spy. I think this is the thing. I genuinely... I mean, like, James Bond, it's an iconic character. But I'm the same.

It's like everyone's... You don't have to make James Bond a woman for the work to be slightly more female friendly. Just make an own series. Make their own 00 whatever, 10. Just like lose a bikini or two. Or don't make her nude. I was going to say what?

No, no, no. I'd watch, but what? Okay, well that's coming up in the top six. You're dealing with that, Vaughn? Yeah, the top six left field choices for the next James Bond. Next though. Oh my goodness.

Do not go anywhere, people. I have something. I have something that is going to actually blow your mind. It is a fact about animals. It's not a fact of the day, Paul. Are they animals? I wouldn't say they're animals. I'm not creeping in.

They're insects. Insects, I know, but it also relates to animals. It's crazy. Oh, do not go anywhere. It actually is going to shake you. Don't go anywhere. You won't. Oh, do not go anywhere. It actually is going to shake you. Don't go anywhere. You won't believe this. Don't go anywhere.

It's next. Don't go anywhere. Woohoo, stay here. Stay with. Please, please. Stay with. This is a banger. Jesus, you two sound desperate.

Treat him mean, keep him keen. Switch stations. See if I care. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Earlier you would have heard me say that I had a fact that was going to blow your mind. About insects.

Yes. One insect in particular. Get ready for it. It's up next. No. No, I've got it now. I've got it now. You waited. You waited. Okay, so ants. I hate ants.

You know, you get an ant problem, boy, oh, boy, it really ruins your day. Yeah. I hate them, but it's undeniable. They are a fascinating creature. They are. So smart. Do you know, do you remember when Jared was ant farming? Producer Jared was ant farming?

Yeah, when he first started. And then I finally found him a queen, and I was like, you ready for your queen? Yep. And he was like, oh, no, I've given up. I was like, you bloody bastard. I've been out hunting ants. Why'd you give up the ant farming, Producer Jared? It just wasn't very cool, was it?

I'm glad you found your own way there. So you decided. I'm glad you had the kit before you realized that. So you decided instead to just Dungeons and Dragons, to make your time to Dungeons and Dragons. So much cooler. So much cooler. So much cooler. So much cooler than ant farming. Do you remember the night we went to the Wiggles adults only show?

Yes. And we'd had plenty of drinks. When Aaron and I got home, our benchtop was, which was white, was almost black with ants. I don't know what we had done, but like ants had invaded the house. Had you spilt your Raro? We did have plenty of Raro before the wheels. That's why our energy was

high. But it was absolutely covered and because we were a bit tipsy and it was late, we just got the fly spray the whole thing and then just went to bed. And when we woke up in the morning, we were like, that was a great night. We came out, we were like, oh, that's right. And it was just like carcasses.

And genocide on your bench. And genocide on the bench. Well, if you think that was a lot of ants. On the planet, in the world, there are 20 quadrillion ants. So how did someone work this out? God knows. 20 followed by 15 zeros. That's how many ants there are.

Wow. Here's the thing that absolutely blows my mind. If you put all of the ants in the world on a big scale, like a big weight scale. Like the suitcase one at the airport. Like that. Yeah. But maybe it might need to be a little bit bigger.

Okay. They would weigh more than all of the birds and mammals combined. We're mammals. Yeah. Whales are mammals. Yeah. Cats are mammals. All of the dairy cows are mammals.

Yeah. Or it exceeds the combined biomass of wild birds and mammals. That is insane, isn't it? Yeah. It does say it equals 20% of human biomass. I wonder if humans have been left out. Yeah, right. Okay.

But even then, okay, I just Googled mammals. Yep. Dogs, goats, wolves, platypuses. Oh, there's the top of the list. I can go on. Pig, bear. Which ones did you put at the bottom of the scale? You'd have to go for the big ones.

And the platypus would have to go at the top. Otherwise, you're going to get bottom, you know, it's going to be all over the show when you'd have to go for the big ones and the platypus would have to go at the top, otherwise you're going to get bottom you know, it's going to be all over the show when you're weighing your animals. I'm wondering where we put the aquatic mammals, your seals your dolphins, your whales We'll have to put them in and then pour in and remember how much

water we've poured in to take that off our total. Yeah, good call No, you might be able to just quickly whip them out of the water, chuck them on the scale, and whip them back in. Yeah, okay. But that's insane because they're so minute. They're so tiny. But there are that many of them.

That's like 20 quadrillion is a number you can't comprehend. You know when you think about the difference between a million and a billion? You know, you're a millionaire, you're a billionaire. But a billion is so much more than hundreds of millions. It's crazy, isn't it? I know. Ants. So if you ever feel bad about spraying a nest of ants on your benchtop,

and then you think, oh, those poor intelligent things are so clever, the way that they work as a community and they carry all these things. Yeah. There's plenty to spare. Don't feel bad about it. Don't feel bad about it. Don't feel bad. 13 past six. Next on the show, we talked about this after the Queen's funeral,

the fact that some of the bodyguards, people online, were saying they had fake hands. Yeah. Because they were concealing guns. Yes. Their real arms were inside their jackets and they were holding onto little fake hands. There's been an update.

There's been an update. There's been an update. So has this been solved? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This is one of the funnier stories to come out of the Queen's passing. When I say one of, there weren't really that many, were there, that were that funny?

No. But this was a wild conspiracy that was online, popped up online during the funeral because the queen's security guards or the security guards at the funeral were everywhere they were of course they were and then people were kind of zooming in on footage of the security guards and the way they hold their hands which is very formal sort of you know palms placed over top of one another in front yes very

um very royal to be fair. Not casual at all. And then people were zooming in and being like, those aren't real hands. And they do look fake. One, they look kind of purple and like very purple. They just look very still. They were very stiff and they were looking at people

and the way they walk, their body would move but their hands wouldn't move. So the conspiracy was fake hands. And they're inside the fake hands. They had their handguns. So that if there was trouble, they could just be like, gotcha. So imagine the tailor. How lazy are cowboys getting?

They used to have to take it out of the gun holder, the holster, pull it up. They'd do a flip. Yep, flip, pull the thing back, pow. And they could still do it quick. These guys have holster. Pull it up. They do a flip. Yep, flip. Pull the thing back. Pow! And they can still do it quick. These guys have got their guns in their hands. Yeah, but then you think that would be, what, a second

to get it out of your holster up and shoot. Whereas if it's already there and it's loaded, it's in your plastic hand. Boom. Done. Shot.

Yeah, well, there you go. But people were convinced. And it makes sense when you explain it that way, why they would have these fake hands. But. But. A former bodyguard for the royal family has weighed in on this rumour

of King Charles III's security guards wearing fake hands. He said, his name is Will Giddies. Yeah. He was a security guard for years. He explained why wearing fake hands is actually going to be more of an inconvenience for the men protecting their new king. He said they definitely are not fake hands. I can understand why some people might think that they were because of what looks like incredibly tight grip,

but they definitely aren't. It isn't a tactic that is ever used at all in the UK. There might be all sorts of other tricks and stunts security security officers use to make sure high-profile individuals are kept safe, but this would not be one of them. In fact, trying to navigate around a set of rubber hands would be extremely, extremely inconvenient. Yeah, because it's more likely someone would charge the king or someone that you're protecting, right, rather than come at you with a gun.

So then to try and subdue someone... Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let me get these rubber hands off. You're wearing fake rubber hands. You could just give a big slap with a rubber hand, like a rubber chicken. So he's ruled it out.

No fake hands. He said it's just unnecessary. And there are so many issues that would come with potentially having these complicated fake hands. Yeah, totally. Holding a weapon. I can just imagine it would be nothing.

And then what if they need to go for a wee? A quick wee. Because they're going to the thing. Flapping around with it. Well, they could be flammable. Shoot the Indian. They could be flammable too. Yeah.

Like you go on your smoke break. Oh, yeah. And your fake hands up in flames before you know it. Using a lighter with gloves is a nightmare. Imagine what it would be like with thick rubber hands. Durry breaks would take so long. He said it could be something they maybe use in the US. He's not ruling it out as a,

Siri, I'm not always talking to you. She's so needy. She's just like, me? Yes. He said it could be something that they use in the US. I don't know. They're a bit more trigger happy there, not in this country. Yeah. Okay, so I really wanted that to be true.

Such a great. I wanted it too. I wanted to see a jacket hung up with fake hands still in it. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. James Bond. Ba-dum.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da. Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da. Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da. We should have learned that on the recorder. James Bond. That would have been great.

James Bond. The producers are searching for a new 007. Who are the producers? Brian. Barbara Broccoli. I apologise now. Let's just say Barbara Broccoli. I apologise now.

Yeah, I do apologise. Barbara Broccoli. That's not a person's name. I said, yes, it's Barbara Broccoli. I apologize now. Yeah, I do apologize. Barbara Broccoli. That's not a person's name. I said, yes, it's Barbara Broccoli. She's the daughter or wife of the guy that invented. No. Ian Fleming wrote it. Hang on.

I thought you were saying a. That's her name, Barbara Broccoli. A silly James Bond name. Bond villain. Pussy galore or whatever. Yeah. Barbara Broccoli. A silly James Bond name. Bond villain. No. Pussy galore or whatever. Yeah. Barbara Brunner. Did you ever watch that war movie that featured Fleming,

who invented James Bond? Because it's based on... It was about... It was the meat. Was something meat? Oh, my gosh. She's a real woman. Mincemeat.

Mincemeat, yeah. Was Ian Fleming in that? I think that was... Was it about Ian Fleming? I think that he was in it, because he worked in that department in the war. Yeah, Was Ian Fleming in that? I think that he was in it because he worked in the like, in that department in the war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the war propaganda.

Yeah, and so that's how he kind of got into writing. Wow. All the spy stuff. Barbara Broccoli, daughter of Albert and Dana Broccoli. I would love if my last name was something so... Yeah, like Sprout. Hayley Sprout. Yeah.

Hayley Jane Sprouts. And the other producer is her brother. But he changed his last name from Broccoli. He's Michael G. Wilson. So they are hunting for the next James Bond and they have said that everybody's favourite in the running Idris Elba,

who would be incredible. They're saying he would be great, yes, but we're not going to be filming the next one for a couple of years, and we want someone that's going to commit 10 years. And would that also rule out? He's 50 already. Is he? Yeah.

God, he looks great for 50. He's keeping it tight. That would also rule out Tom. Tom Hardy is 45. Tom Hardy is 45? I thought you said that would also rule out Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks could do it. They have to be British.

They have to be British. Although Tom Hardy has been MMA fighting or jiu-jitsu. Yeah, and he's really good. He's ripped ass. But again, he'd be what, in 12 years? Christian Bale's too old. 57. Hugh Grant.

He's my favorite. Never got a shot because Pierce Brosnan dominated the Hugh Grant old. Yeah. Hugh Grant. No. He's my favourite. Never got a shot because Pierce Brosnan dominated the Hugh Grant era. Yeah. So they are looking for a younger actor who can. What, Tom Hiddleston? I was just looking at him. He was great in The Night Manager. He played that kind of James Bond-esque.

I just Googled British actors. Here's some options. Sir Ian McKellen? No. Sir Anthony Hopkins? No. Ian McKellen? No. Sir Anthony Hopkins? No. Michael Caine? No.

They talked about Taron Egerton. Egerton. Yes. He doesn't, because I think they've kind of earmarked him

for perhaps Wolverine in the MCU. He's a petite boy. He's a petite and Wolverine's supposed to be a petite and obviously he couldn't do both.

You'd make more money doing Wolverine. Would you though? Because Daniel Craig absolutely milked it for the last couple. He'd be great as Bond. Yeah, he would be. You've got some Holland also. No.

Spider-Man, he must be coming in. No, he's Spider-Man. He can't be James Bond. He can't be James Bond. Okay, you don't think he can be James Bond. He's too skinny to be James Bond. What about like a Kit Harington? You know, Richard Madden?

Richard Madden would be good. Richard Madden could do a good Bond. You could head to the land of Game of Thrones, Kit Harington. Yeah, but Kit Harington, yeah, he doesn't look as good clean cut. Nah. He looks better shaggy, you know. Yeah. And Bond has got to be a clean cut.

Whereas while Madden was in The Bodyguard, eh? Yeah. He was good in that. He'd be great. He'd be a good Bond. I would climb that man. Why? I don't think he's... I don't think Madden was in your wheelhouse.

I know. He's too clean cut, but there's something about his energy. Every now and then you see someone that breaks your rules, you know, and you're like, I don't know why, but I would. I think he dips a toe in Rose. You know, I think you'd have to turn him there on. No, I don't think. Were those gay rumours ever substantial?

No, he just said, like, it's none of your business. Oh, I like that. Yeah. But it's saying yes. He's got big buy energy to me. I like that he keeps his privacy, but he is. Totally, yeah.

It really makes him hotter. Yeah. It's like if you plead the fifth, that's pretty much saying I'm guilty, but prove it. Yeah, pretty much. Well, you've got the top six left. I feel like we've talked

so much about Bond already. We've cut ourselves short for this top six list. So I'm just going to go through real quick. This will be the quickest list part of the top six. Is he just covering up because he hasn't done it? No, I've done it. It's written in front of me.

Top six, because they've also said their choice, it might be a bit left field. Yeah. They said it might not be what you expect. So the top six left field choices for James Bond are number six, a kebab. Number five, a kayak. Number four, two donkeys sharing the role.

Number three, a concrete garden ornament. Number two, a half-empty pack of Panadol. And number one, water. That is today's top six. You're really not true. You're really feeling it Friday-wise, aren't you? Half-empty pack of Panadol. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. Peter. Oh, good lord. Snuck up on me. Snuck up on me. COVID. It sounds like we are all coughing in here, but we're not Post Malone store going?

Yep Peter, people for the ethical treatment of animals They're always trying to come up with new ways to convince people to become vegan They don't even want vegetarians anymore Don't they? They're not messing around, they want full veg Well, I mean, I can see the whole point about the saving the planet thing Because it doesarians anymore Don't they? They're not messing around They want full Full veg Well I mean I can see the whole point About the saving the planet thing

Because it does help Doesn't it? Do you see the point there? I do I mean you know It is Where do they stop caring about animals Because all of those massive vegan crops

Aren't being made without You know disturbing the habitats Of subterranean rodents I'm not fighting with anyone I'm just staying out of this Yeah but you've constantly got mints in the fridge. So, of course, you don't want Peter to know. That's because you guys always want me to have takeaways.

Yeah, I know. And there's mints and chicken in the fridge. You keep buying all this mints so that you don't get lured in. Mints in the fridge at home. Well, I've got a new idea to convince men to switch. Men in particular. Men. The target.

Oh, okay. I imagine people like Vaughan would be the target market for Peter. Well, the boy loves his meat. Love it. You cook it well. Well, Hayley and I were just looking at a vegetarian restaurant. Oh, no, vegetarian. An Argentinian.

Two ends of the Aryan scale, you know. You're vegetarian and you're Argentinian. Yeah. Restaurant. Oh, my God. I know. Can I have five minutes on the mic for pork jowl? Yeah. And it was a black on the outside. I know. Can I have five minutes on the mic for pork jowl? Yeah.

And it was a blank on the outside. You can have 10 seconds. Okay, so pork jowl is the chewing muscle that pigs have. Right. And so used a lot because pigs eat it. It's the same as beef cheek on cows. It's just this tough bit of meat, but slow cook it, and just the gelatinous quality goes through.

Thank you very much. Such a tasty pizza. I'm actually trying to talk on behalf of Peter. Okay. Yeah. So their new idea to convince men to switch to being vegan is, this is very heteronormative, I will say, for women to go on a sex strike.

Well, they're cancelled then, aren't they? Because they've made it about sex and women. There you go. Yeah, right. Okay. They say that could be the moment that blokes need to give up being carnivores. They say that a sex strike could help save the world and end toxic masculinity.

But then that's very toxic. Sex is great, but have you ever had the perfectly reverse-seared tomahawk steak at about medium rare, slightly more towards rare? Every time. Daniel Cox from Peter, Germany, said men need to wake up and smell the tofu. He did not say that. Daniel Cox is living up to his name.

He said we all know them, the suburban fathers with beer bottles and barbecue tongs sizzling 70 cent sausages on their $700 Euro grill. Wow, that's you. Not 70 cent sausages. That's you. I drop a bit more cash on my sausage. The courgette added by

the visitor is eyed with suspicion and only reluctantly tolerated on the grill. The fact that Germany's grill masters believe they have to prove their toxic masculinity to themselves. Dude, you aren't talking to the wrong people. Have you met Germans? Yeah. Is not only to detriment animals,

it is now scientific proof that toxic masculinity also harms the climate. Therefore, a hefty meat tax. That doesn't sound scientific. Toxic masculinity harms the planet. His suggestion, 41% meat tax for men

would be appropriate. Oh. And the way to get them going would be a ban on sex or procreation for all meat-eating men would be useful in this context. Now, you're engaged to a meat-eating man. I am.

A big, giant meat-eating man. That man needs to be fueled by more than leaves. Yeah, leaves aren't going to keep that big boy going. Six foot six. He needs a steak every now and then. Could you do this withholding thing? But I want meat. I that big boy going. Six foot six. He needs a steak every now and then. Could you do this withholding thing? But I want meat. I want all the meat.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, so that's not going to work. I'm not withholding. And she wants a bit of that meat in both senses. Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I mean?

I just lose out on both meats. Are you talking about a lamb sausage and a sizzler? Yeah, I'm talking about. Please don't refer to Aaron's penis as the lamb sausage. Please don't call him a lamb sausage. He's not a lamb sausage. I was talking about our lamb sausage and a sizzler. Yeah, I'm talking about... Please don't refer to Aaron's penis as the lamb sausage. Please don't call him a lamb sausage. He's not a lamb sausage. I was talking about our lamb sausage. He's the boar worst.

I'm moving on here. I'm moving on. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Opening a tiny little packet of sorbent travel tissues because I've got a feeling this next one's going to be a real tear-jigger. Oh, I'll get the box. I'll get the tissue box as well. You get the tissue box.

We cross to the producer's booth. No pressure, Carwen. This story has been built up. Fletch, do you want a tish? Yeah, not by me, by you. It better be like, we've sizzled the sausage. It sounds like you are dying of toxic mould syndrome. I feel like I just haven't known her long enough.

Oh, my gosh. Will you sing at my funeral, Hayley? Oh, my God, what would you... Give us a little taste. What do you want? What song? Oh, she loves Taylor Swift. Well, the player's gonna play, play, play.

He just gonna play, play, play. I just wanna play, play. Shake it off. It's going to be hard. You know, it's going to be really hard for me, Cowan. But Cowan, you've discovered a toxic mould spot. It started with a stain chat. Yeah.

And then we've analysed. Because you've just discovered. Oh, my God, dudes. We've got this pencil that, no, this is where I had my chance to shine, my time to shine. What do you think that we penciled in a whole break about eucalyptus? Eucalyptus aerosol.

No, mate. You can just Google eucalyptus aerosol spray. Eucalyptus E-U. Write this down. Grab a pen. People can Google and it will say, did you mean? U-C-A-L.

That's what the Kwalis love. Yeah. If you could stop and direct me, I'm going to have to start spelling eucalyptus again. Bossito's eucalyptus spray. Now, I learned about this and have you been paying attention filming last night? Tonight.

Right. TV 2830. I'm a company man. What can I say? And Lou, who works in wardrobe, had this spray of eucalyptus spray, and I recognise it,

because I'm a big, Olbis oil guy. Yes. And when I get a blocked nose, I just pour it on my pillow, and then, I sleep with a, yeah,

I sleep with a clear sinuses. And I, once they didn't have Olbis, so I bought this, Bocitos, I'm saying that wrong, but who cares? And the oil to put on my pillow. And then I saw this last night and I said,

what are you doing with eucalyptus spray? She said, oh, my God, this stuff will take the stain and smell out of anything. So she works in wardrobe where, like, when we borrow clothes for people to wear, and then if they sweat in them and get them a bit stinky, but the place is like, we don't want them washed because obviously that makes it...

You just hank into this stuff with... And it takes the... Right. What if Simon Dello's eating a pizza slice and you know you get those grease stains on your T-shirt when a bit of cheese falls on? Well, that's what I said. Eucalyptus is an oil.

So does the spray not leave an oily spray? No, it's magic. It doesn't. It's absolutely magic. Everything. The dog's bed's getting a bit stinky. Hang on, now we said we weren't going to give you a break to talk about eucalyptus. Because you haven't even gone

into Carwen's stain. You should have waited. You should have waited until Carwen had talked about her stain and then said this. Yeah, I mean, you've railroaded women here. Did you see what you did there? Oh, you could speak now.

I would just like to apologise to women. You know, you have a moment of realisation in life. I've heard about one of these and I wondered if I'd ever experience it and right now I'm having it. I've spent my entire career railroading women to where I want to be. Now, Carwen, you've got a flat inspection coming up. Yeah, so I've lived in this flat since like early 2019 and we've

never had an inspection. Living the life. But now we're like, oh, it's time for the big clean. And I have some mysterious stain on my carpet in my bedroom that I didn't cause. And it was small.

You've got spores in your lungs. And it's growing bigger. It's growing. Is it coming up from the bottom? Yeah. What's underneath your room? Is it anything leaking from the top? Straight to the tradie mindset. Now, is there an entry point underneath

so I can get under there and have a look? There's got to be. There's another bedroom underneath. Oh. That has a bathroom. It's a two-story. Oh, yikes. So you reckon it's... Dude, I reckon you've has a bathroom. Oh, it's a two-story. Oh, yikes. So you reckon it's...

Dude, I reckon you've got a problem bigger than you can imagine. I reckon there's water's got in somewhere it can't get out and it's travelling. But it's been over years. Like, surely it would feel wet, right? It never feels wet. And is it black? Is it mouldy? Nah, just like a slightly darker carpet colour.

Have you accidentally dropped some pudding on the carpet? No, here's the thing. I've not spilt anything and I know that for certain. Yeah. No pudding? No. Because you know what? You love pudding.

The pudding girls. You don't put in the bedroom. The pudding girls do have a meeting and drop pudding all over the carpet. But it's growing, and is it black? Well, not black. It's just like a darker carpet colour. Well, this sounds very sporous, doesn't it? This sounds to me that it's gone into your lungs.

So will the eucalyptus? You're mere days away. It needs the bocesos. Is that going to help me? Eucalyptus spray. Listen to this. Get the carpet spray. Kills 99% of germs, cleans and freshens.

Also a natural antiseptic. Yeah, but then what if she sprays this on her carpet and it stains it? Because you said to do that. I was promised by Luthor. The last time you gave me advice, Monstera Leaf did die. Yeah, remember that? You said to clip all the roots. No, no, I didn't say clip them.

I said put them in water. But it was an air root. Yeah. Oh, rot. There's two types of roots. Yeah, so we don't listen to Vaughn for advice. Maybe just some carpet spray then? Yeah, and do a test patch in somewhere like the wardrobe.

Are you just hiring the rug doctor? Oh, my God. But here's the thing they don't tell you about the rug doctor. Soggy wet. Soggy carpet. You get soggy carpet afterwards. And sometimes it brings out stains. We've had that when we were leaving a flat before

and we hired a rug doctor. And then Aaron was like, I've made it so much worse. And I came home. Because it cleans the carpet around the stain. Around the stain it can't get out. Yeah. So, yeah. The other idea would be to find like a sharpie or a felt that's

the same colour as the stain and colour in the rest of the carpet. No, no, no. You've got to twink it first. You've got to go light like an undercoat of twink and then get a felt. Yeah. And then so the whole carpet will be the same colour and they won't notice. That's so good. That's actually solid advice.

Is it in a place where you could just put a coffee table over top? No, it's right at the doorway. Oh, a mat. Like a welcome to my room. But I'm moving out. Is that why the inspection's happening? Yes. Okay.

Yeah, you're toast. This feels like a you problem, not a me problem. Why don't you just buy a house? Why don't you have your own house? Oh, yeah. What are you doing? Actually, yeah, I'll just go buy one. Have you thought about that?

Just go buy one. Yeah. Because then you're only answerable to yourself. Oh, I saw a lovely house in Hearn Bay. I'll send you a link. Oh, perfect. They've actually come down a little bit in price, so you might get a little bonus.

There are only four now. Four million. I think it's like four point. Yeah, I'll send it to you. What about how old is this's like four point. Yeah. I've seen it too. What about, how old is this house? Hundreds of years old? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, drafty?

Yeah, but it's a year. Oh my God, so then, because of the money you're saving because Herne Bay house prices have gone down, you can do a renovation. Oh, yeah. The bank will loan you more. Oh, we solved it.

Well, that's done. Done. We solved it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, news this week that Maroon 5's Adam Levine has been sliding into some DMs. Well, it started out with one, hey, Sumner.

I remember her name because he said he was having another baby with his wife and he wanted to call his son Sumner if that was okay. Sumner's unusual, Adam. Where did you come up with that name? What do you mean? Well, I just, I never heard you say it before what are you accusing me of oh my god

back off why are you always on my case I wonder because he's done interviews interviews have surfaced of him in the past saying that he doesn't

believe in monogamy and I wonder if him and his wife Heather like if he's on the road so much no because he's admitted that

he crossed a line he's crossed the line and also that he is, like, at home trying to deal with a very upset wife. Right. So if that was the contract, then she wouldn't be as upset as she is. And it's a public. That's the thing. It's really public, right?

And embarrassing. Like, the way he was speaking. Oh, my God. Oh, shame. Oh, no. Prince. How old was he? Like 40?

Yeah, something. Oh, God.. Oh, shame. Oh, no. Prince. How old was he? Like 40? Yeah, something. Oh, God. So we wanted to. It just shows, you know, like you see people who've never had to try. Yes. And you're like, you don't know how to do this. Yeah, you don't know how to do things because you've never had to try. Hot people.

You always see when hot people, when their looks start to fade and they do something, you're like, oh, my God. Welcome. Years of not having to try. Yeah. They're on the side of the road trying to fix their tyre and no one's stopping anymore. Yeah, and they're like, what?

You didn't learn basic life skills because no one ever told you no. Yeah. Well, we wanted to know because he's come out and said he's crossed a line. It was just flirting, though. Yes. He said he hasn't done anything. And we asked the question in our silly little poll,

is flirting cheating? Now, what about me with the older girls? Because you know. It's absolutely my market. And lesbians like you too, don't they? Yeah, but that's less flirting and more sort of like a little bit of like a standoff, you know? Yeah.

A little bit of a two bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also we appreciate the same things. And I think that's what really joins us together. Yeah. I love a ute. You love a ute. I did not think you said ute and I was like yeah yeah that's it do you consider flirting as cheating it's a split definitely are you kidding me one percent nah 49 are you kidding

me so I okay wait should we have said instead of flirting should we have said sliding into dms Are you kidding me? 51%. Nah, 49%. Are you kidding me? So I answered... Okay, wait. Should we have said, instead of flirting, should we have said sliding into DMs? Yeah. Because... I said yes, but then I remember when Aaron and I were first dating,

we used to always have a flirt. And I remember saying to him, like, we had a little flirt tonight. Guy was flirting with me. And he was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it made me feel good. It's nice. And then he would do the same. Be like, oh, she was bloody laying it on, wasn't she? I was like, oh yeah. Yeah, it made me feel good. It's nice. And then he would do the same and be like,

oh, she was bloody laying it on, wasn't she? And I was like, oh, that's a bit of fun. And you don't do it anymore? Oh, I just, I think we just don't go out as much anymore. And also we're older and we're getting flirted with less. But I remember, like, it's a nice tickle. And you're like, and the trust is there because we're never going

to act on it. So that's fine. Unless it's Jason Momoa. Unless it's Jason Momoa. Unless it's Jason Momoa in which case I'm nude in seconds. That's cool. You guys come from progressive towns because Sade and I are both from Hamilton. And Sade will always be like, who's that bitch? And I'd be like, please, Sade, she's just getting her cheeseburgers. We need to calm down.

I saw the way she was looking at you. And I'd be like, I'm a customer. It is McDonald's. We need to calm down. She'll be over the counter. Handful of hair extensions. You know that little thing they have to collect money for the Ronald McDonald house? Sade like smashes her over the head with it.

I'm like, everybody relax. Yeah. But that's a Hamilton. That's Hamilton. And you know what? It's that same fiery passion that I can't get enough of. I love you, babe. You're right, man.

I love you, babe. I love you, babe. She's at home talking to the builders building your shed. Can't wait to of. I love you, babe. I love you, babe. I love you, babe. She's at home talking to the builders building your shed. Can't wait to see. What? She better not be. But I can't believe it's so split. I know, but maybe it's because of this Adam Levine.

I don't know. The Adam Levine thing has made me say yes because if Aaron did this, I'd be like, oh, no, that's too far. This isn't flirting. This is cheating. This is full next step, right? This isn't flirting. This is cheating. This is full next step right? This isn't just a light flirt. I'm loving

these messages in. Erin says it's cheating if my husband does it. It's not cheating if I do it. I love that. Kat says not cheating but it is a betrayal. Just defining what we consider cheating there. Melissa says repeatedly with the same person,

or if it's prolonged, then yes. Flirty banter with the waiter, no. That's where I'm at. Okay, fair call. I think that's where I'm at. I'm with Melissa. I get that. That's what I'm like at the garden centre with the old girls.

Oh, yeah, tickling them with the ferns. Beg your pardon. You just want the better Monstera. I just want to know if they've got any, like, new ones out back that they haven't put out. Yeah, that aren't going to be brown. That haven't had hiding. Yeah.

Everyone poking and prodding and such. Amy says, there is a line if it's something you keep secret or you know your partner wouldn't like, then it's bad news. But nobody's like, hey, babe, look, I'm just, like, flirting with this guy. But that's what me and Aaron did. I remember I once told Aaron I had a crush on someone. And he said, that's a bit of fun. Was it someone obtainable?

Sure. Like if you put in a weekend's work, you could have like. Yeah. Wow. I know. God, we're so modern. I wonder where the rumors at the comedy club came about you guys being in an open relationship.

I don't know. Maybe it's all the flirting I'm doing with all these people. How did it come to this? Del says it depends if it's going to get us a discount or something free. Yeah, good call. You're going to use it. And Ames says it depends on the couple. My rule for behaviour is if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner,

don't do it without them. Oh, that's a good rule. Everyone has it depends on the couple. My rule for behaviour is if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner, don't do it without them. Oh, that's a good rule. Unless it's been okay. Everyone has different lines in the sand. Final rankings. Today's topic. Facial piercings. Facial piercings.

We will now rank them in order. We will, from our ivory towers, cast judgment upon your personal choices. And we're not including the ears. No. That's got to go. Because ears are standard. Ears are standard. It's got to be face.

Other than my ears, I've had my nose pierced and my lip pierced. Yeah. While I was dating a boy with a tongue piercing and a nose piercing. Did he ever get caught? No, he didn't snag. He had a tongue ring and I had braces, though. Oh, that was a touching go. Yeah.

I feel bad about that whole situation. He was a good Christian boy and I dyed his hair black and I paid to get his tongue pierced. His mother did not have a bar of young Hayley Sproul. I bet she didn't. Did you bing bong at the airport security when you got all that metal? Yeah, I can't remember actually. I don't think you do. I don't think so.

It'd be too small. Too small. Remember when we were flying somewhere and they saw a bit of metal around my breast area and then you guys suspected I had a secret nipple ring? A secret nipple piercing. But it was just the wire in the brasserie, was it? Was it?

Was it? We'll never know. We'll never know. Maybe I'll tell you later. I don't know because I'm not a huge piercing. Mine's nose. Nose number one.

It's hot. Yeah. I had my nose pierced for 10 years. Side or the... What's the thing in the middle? I quite like the septum now but I'm a classic on the side. Um,

yeah, the septum, I'm like haunted growing up around farmers being like, wouldn't stop licking, would you? Because that's what you do

to like bulls or like cows when they don't stop licking other cows, you put a little thing in their nose so it becomes uncomfortable to do it and through behaviour they stop doing it,

so. Right. Um. I'll go cheek. You're going to go the dimples. I just, I love when you see someone that obviously had a piercing in like, say, under their lip or cheeks. Yeah, I've got a scar. And then in their 30s, they've still got a giant hole or a big scar.

What's this one called? This one's quite, like, cute. Well, you'd call it the snake bite. But only one. But one is. So it looks like a, oh, this guy up here. That's quite, like, cute. Well, do you call it the snake bite? But only one. But one is... So it looks like a... Oh, this guy up here is... That's your libret.

That's your Monroe. Your Monroe, because it looks like the Marilyn Monroe mole. The Marilyn Monroe. That one in the middle is called a Medusa. I knew someone once who had the bar at the back of their neck. Yes. But that's different. That doesn't count.

That's not the face. That's just body piercing. Okay, I'm going to go nose, side. Nose, septum. Left, labret. I think I'd go the same. Which is labret? Like you can either have a star or a ring.

Oh, yeah, okay. Those are the hot pulls. What? Labret hot pulls. The labret hot pulls. And toe pork, yes. Right. I think so.

I think, yeah, I mean, there's not many much. I mean, we haven't mentioned the humble eyebrow. I mean. Oh, no, because it's good enough for Paul Walker. It's good enough for me, you know. Yeah. R.I.P. R.I.P.

Let's just actually, let's have a moment's silence for Paul Walker. We didn't even do a moment's silence for the Queen. Well, no, we'll take her on as well and for the Queen. So I'm thinking of Paul and the Queen. And the Queen. Okay. Please split your thoughts half-half. They're a weird mix, eh?

Weird mix. Paul and the Queen. They would have gone on famously because they both love to drive. Like, she was hooning around Land Rovers. And both take them before their time. Wow. Yes, I'll agree with that. So, where were we? Facial piercings? Yes, I think we can all agree. I think we've agreed. Yes. I'll agree with that. So, where were we?

Facial piercings, yes. I think we can all agree. I think we've agreed. Yes. I would agree with you. There's always something like when I was a teenager, there was always something really attractive about somebody with like a naughty facial piercing.

But it was only because your parents were so, you know, against it and you just wanted to test your parents. Girls from Canterbury know what I'm talking about. Yes. Yes. Yes. Girls from Canterbury are always taking home a boy just to test the waters, see what Dad thinks. Well, he does play rugby though, Dad.

You like rugby, don't you, Dad? Right on, right on. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I read this article and this is what has led me to what I want to ask our listeners this morning. Okay. So a psychiatrist in the UK was talking about how you might want to talk to your children about your life, like your past life before they existed and before the other part of their parenthood existed. So the question...

Do people want to know that? It's a curious thing. The question they ask is... Now that I'm a fully grown adult, I wouldn people want to know that? It's a curious thing. The question they ask is... Now that I'm a fully grown adult, I wouldn't care to know. It wouldn't be a big deal. Yeah, but I don't think your girls are going to want to know. No, no, no.

I'm even knowing about my parents. I don't want the details. Just like... A number. It's intriguing to me. A number or like... Just to imagine them with someone else. It's kind of crazy.

But you want your mum and your dad to give their body count. Yeah. Like. Yeah. Patsy Sproul, ring up. 0800-DARCYDEM. You tell me your number, I'll tell you mine. I reckon they won't match.

I would only care to know because I think my parents would literally be one and it would be them. Oh. Well, they were saying in this, it's a really interesting article about like, should you tell your kids? It's all about age and how you be them. Oh! Well, they were saying in this, it's a really interesting article about, like, should you tell your kids? It's all about age and how you tell them. And, you know, because they need to know that, well, they don't need to know,

but it's like, it's not a secret. You know, there's not this image of, you know, I meet your father and we made love once and you were born. You know? And they say it's actually easier with so many people getting divorced and stuff then the concept of a new person coming in

and being with your mum or your dad or whoever is less sort of daunting and traumatising. You know people are still dealing with their parents divorce years and years later. Anyway this reminded me of a time that I was driving from Wellington to Auckland and my mum accompanied me. My parents don't like me to drive

alone so they always come and then fly home. What? I assumed when you started telling that story it was your first time driving there. No, this was last year. What? They think I'll get tired and crash and they always want to be there in case I get tired and they can like take an over driver.

It's so sweet, they've always done it. I know and I don't know how we got into talking about this, but we started talking about when my mum met my dad. And, you know, I've just always thought my parents have been together forever. But they only met, like, nine months before she fell pregnant. And, like, there was this whole kind of drama. Like, the parents didn't know and thought she was still married.

And my mum was like, shut up right now. I'm going to message any second. But, anyway, what it was, it was like, it led me to this night that she realised that she had fancied my dad. You see, the moment I realised was I'd turned up, they worked together, my mum and dad. And she was like, I turned up with a pot plant for your father, but he had his eyes on someone else

and he didn't notice a pot plant and he went home with someone else that night. And then my mum was like, felt that thing where you're like, oh. Just dapping up my boy Craig virtually. But she had that feeling, you know, when you see someone leave with someone else and you go, oh, why am I upset by that? I must

like this person. And then I was like, wait a minute, my dad was with someone else? And mum goes, oh yeah, you know, well before that there was this woman. Tracy? There was Tracy and Kylie and Jeanette. Yeah.

Anyway, it was a really interesting thing. I love to hear the side of my parents. Did your dad ever appreciate the pot plant? I reckon it died in the corner. Wow. In the 80s, it would have been a really hardy fern. Yeah, it would have been. A really hardy fern.

I believe when my dad was quietly asked to leave that flat, he probably just left it behind. But anyway, that's a story for another day. Wow. Anyway, this is what I want to know to chat about. It's sort of a funny topic. Do you know how many people your parents have been with? What was the conversation?

Why do you know? Are you that open? Do you feel like most people would come from an open family or most people, the classic Kiwi thing, we get it from the British, is you don't really talk about that? There's a lot. There's still so much of that.

And I think generationally it's slowly decreasing. Like you're more open with, like I'll be far more open with my kids than my parents were. But my parents were quite like, if we ever had any questions to go to them, and they were very genuine about that. Yes. But their parents didn't talk about it to them at all.

Yeah, well, it's increasing. My mum just texts, sheesh. Sorry, Mum. I just want to chuck another dab up to your dad. I'm giving him a round of applause. It's all fodder. All right, well, 0800DARLSATM is the number we want to ask this morning. Maybe it's mortifying to you, and you were, like Hayley,

it was just thrust upon you. Yeah. In a car, inescapable. Yeah. Inescapable? Inescapable? Inescapable. Antiescapable, I think it is.

Yeah, yeah. Deescapable. Yeah. Do you know how many people your parents have been with? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. how many people your parents have been with. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. We have asked you,

do you know how many people your parents have been with? I read an article about the benefits of talking to your kids about your previous partners being open and honest. I've had this chat kind of with my parents.

My dad didn't say it. My mum said it before my dad. Some messages in. Someone said, my dad can name 30 women that he's been with. And he said there's more that he can't remember the names of. Yeah. Dad. Hey, we're not here to number shame.

I wonder the context in which dad told our text. Yeah, like, how does that come up? Like, unless you ask. You don't need to know that. A couple of wines around the fireplace at Christmas. Let's go to some calls. Andrea, good morning. Good morning. How are you guys? Good, good. Now, how did this

come out? This was mum. Yes, I don't know a number of people that she has been with. However, at my hen's party we were playing a game kind of like never have I ever, or you know, one of those sorts of things. And the question was, have you had a menage a trois?

And my mum drunk. Oh! But just checking, just checking, does she think that's a fancy pastry? Because I reckon my mum wouldn't know what it is. Oh, I love it. I love it. Custard filled. Yeah, custard filled menage a trois.

When he seeded this down for the kids in the car, the question was very much a question of the amount of people. Has mum had two French custards at once? Yes. Right. So there was more than the traditional three people involved in the pastry and baking. What a way to find out. Wait, did you also...

You don't have to tell me. Did you also drink? Because I wonder if that's a point of connection. Something. What a way to find out. Wait, did you also... You don't have to tell me. Did you also drink? Because I wonder if that's a point of connection. Something that you can talk to one day. Could be like, gosh, aren't they awkward? She's got one up on me. Yeah! Yes!

I love it. That's for your mum. Do you know your parents' number? A psychologist... Not a phone number. Phone number, yeah. I mean, if they write it down and it's a phone number, I would be like, how?

Wow. A psychologist has talked about the importance of talking to your kids about your past. Yeah. Open and honest about your... Normalising the idea of not just sort of landing on the first person you're with. Yeah. Some messages in.

All I know is that I've got 13 siblings and I'm only half related to all of them. Settle down, Mum. Yep. I once asked my dad how many women he'd been with and he said, who keeps count? And I said, those of us with numbers low enough to remember. And he shrugged and walked away.

It doesn't apply. Yeah, I know my mum's number is one. She's only been with my dad. Oh, that's sweet. One day during a casual conversation, she said, I've only had the one. Your father could be absolutely terrible at it, but how would I even know? Yeah.

Well, are you? Yeah. Are you finishing the race every time, you know? Are you satisfied? Yeah. Yeah. You happy? Well, Dad probably is.

Really? Well, that's good. My mum was a good girl. My dad was seven years older and quite the opposite. Right. I feel at some stage my sister and I will be involved in a David Lomas investigates. was a good girl. My dad was seven years older and quite the opposite. Right. I feel at some stage my sister and I will be involved

in a David Lomas Investigates. David Lomas knocks on your door. We're looking for a man called David Parker. And you're like, Dad! You're in trouble! We knew this was coming.

It would happen one day. I'm in my 40s. In my early 30s, my stepfather told me that my mum once slept with my kung fu master when I was like nine. So mum got maybe a term free of kung fu in exchange for that. Yeah, nice. I said, are there more? And he shrugged. So I don't know.

Jesus! How did mum pay for the piano lessons, you know? How did mum get you into the golf academy? I don't know what you're going to do. Mum's using what she's got. Good on mum. Hard out there for mums. I know my mate's mum has been with one extra person

than his father because I was that one extra person. Their mate. Yeah. My dad can, yeah, my dad's got a written down list somewhere and he's always said, don't tell your mother about my list. Like a little black book. Yeah. Like dad's written it down and he looks at it sometimes and he's

like, you used to have it, Daryl. Look at this long list of names that are definitely not made up. You're a stud back in the day, Daryl. Wild. Wild. Yeah. Quite a few people know.

It turns out quite a few people know. Yeah. There you go. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Friday Flashback. So to get you excited for that, I have decided for my Friday flashback

to go with a Friday Jams Live artist. Okay. So unbelievable that this person is coming to New Zealand to perform for us. One moment, please, Cora. Are you just Googling some information about this artist? Who are they? No.

Honestly, one of the most exciting people on that lineup for me. I've seen this artist live and they were incredible. I have flashed right back to 1995. I always like to dip into the 90s for these. I love it. You're a fool if you go any shallower than that. Well, I was actually being bullied quite severely from the producer's booth to play Keen, Somewhere Only We Know.

What a downer. It's flying down. I think because that song is now, how many years old is that song? 18. 18 years old, that song. Yeah, I know. It's a great song. You can feel it when you listen to it.

Anyway, I've gone for something a bit more fun, a bit more Friday vibes, a bit more exciting. Okay. This song did very, very well in the R&B charts. That may lead you to know what I'm talking about. It was number one around the world in lots of places. Australia was number one. Number one in New Zealand in 1995, of course.

It was on all the lists. It's a classic song. Also a song on a Levi Strauss claymation stop motion advertisement for jeans. Well, there you go. It's also three minutes and 50 seconds long. Bless you, Shaggy.

It's Mr. Bombastic. Sit in. Mr. Bombastic. We are the some bombastic, romantic, fantastic lover. Shaggy. Mr. Lover, lover. Mr. Lover, lover. Mr. Lover lover. Mr. Lover lover.

Girl. Mr. Lover lover. Mr. Lover lover. She call me Mr. Bombastic. Tell me fantastic. Touch me on me butt. She says I'm Mr. Rue. Rue.

Too romantic. Call me fantastic. Touch me on me butt. She says I'm Mr. Rue. Smooth. Thank you. Shaggy, it's your Friday flashback. Boombastic on ZM. And our Ticket Blitz continues soon for Friday Jams live tickets every single hour until 5 o'clock today on ZM, giving you the chance to win a double pass to see Shaggy Macklemore. You know he'll do that song.

Yeah, he's great live. Akon, TLC, Ashante, Jay Sean and more. The Activator coming up. After Fact of the day soon some feedback read that love this nailed it

you can't sing this song without doing the accent and it makes me feel like I'm a racist that's true and that's a fair call in the 90s when it came out it was fun to do it

but it is fairly accent based yeah although he does also sing in a nasally sort of tone. Right. Are you going to tell him that when he's here? No, in that specific song. Oh, right.

Yeah. I remember the first time I heard him speak, I was like, it'll sound like that, but it didn't. Yeah. Boy, oh boy, it just feels like I'm 17 again, cruising on my bright orange Toyota Starlet. Hey. Okay.

Approved. Dumbest song you've ever played. Oh wow. I've wrecked my entire Friday, Hayley. I thought better of you. Wow. I want to say if I've wrecked your Friday

with Boombasta, your Friday was already doomed. Take that. Shots fired. I thought better of Hugh. Oh wow. Back in your face. Where you go now,

person without a radio station to broadcast your face. Where are you going now, person without a radio station to broadcast your opinions? I want to talk farts. May I? May I talk farts? Permission granted, we all do it. It's a natural body function. Yeah, it is.

Farts are funny. Farts are endlessly funny. I've never met a fart that wasn't funny. Right. The other night I did a fart. I'm a woman, body function. Yeah, it is. Farts are funny. Farts are endlessly funny. I've never met a fart that wasn't funny. Right. The other night I did a fart. I'm a woman, I fart. Yeah. And I was so embarrassed by it.

You know I've got an upset stomach. Yes, yeah. I literally grabbed Aaron's face and put my hand over his nose and I was like, we've just got to wait this out. Right. And he appreciated it. Where did that happen? In the bedroom?

In the bed. Oh, no. Getting out of the bed would have made it worse. We just had to lay there. Could you have not just sealed off the duvet really quickly? I can't tell you how stuffed up my guts is. Right. Ain't no cotton or linen.

Oh, wow. Okay. Anyway, enough about me. The average person, a study, has looked into farts. A fart study, shall we call it. Do we need a sting? Fart study. Got another fart study for you.

Most people, average person feels comfortable passing gas in front of their partner after just six dates. Oh, wow. Okay. Six dates together

until you're happy to have a little tootie. When did your wife, because you famously, she's never. No, she's never. You're lying. No, she never has. I couldn't even tell you famously, she's never. No, she still hasn't. You're lying.

No, she never has. I couldn't even tell you if she does poos. Like, yeah, she'll sneak to the toilet and one will never know. Get out. That's just her thing is that, yeah, she doesn't like, and she's quick. I'm assuming she does poo. Yeah. But I couldn't prove it.

Yeah. I don't want you to either. It's a wild assumption, but like she's always very quick in the toilet. So I could never differentiate between ones and twos on a time basis. Yeah. Oh. And it never smells. Yeah, right. Okay.

Charlotte is truly such an elegant lady. She's so pretty and nice and petite and she doesn't fart or poo. Meanwhile, I literally had to sort of mask my man. Right. So this is a full fart study. So six. Six dates until you can. What about other things?

Burps. Oh, burps. How gross are they? How gross are they? Worse than farts. Early burps. They are worse. They are worse.

And because they blow them out. And it's that head height. Yeah. It's like if you're talking to someone and they burp and it's in your face. Yeah. Whereas farts have to get up there, don't they? They've done the work they deserve to be. Yeah, they've gone through a couple of layers.

And they're literally facing away from the smelling wall. Yeah. How many dates you meet a guy, how many until you pick your nose in front of him? Oh, yeah. I'm a digger. Are you eating it or are you just scratching it? You're putting it on the seat under there. Oh, no, that's yucky.

Oh, yeah. Me and Kim Crossman the other day were talking about the fact. She was like, do you flick? Do you flick it out the window or just flick it into the car? And I was like, no, it's into the car, mate. Into the car. Does she live in New Zealand? We are.

The lovely Kim Crossman. No, she puts it into a car. Oh. We are both. I'm a real digger, especially when I'm in the car. And my mum used to always say like, God, they think that they've got curtains up. And now I'll just be absolutely having a dig

for a treasure trove. And Aaron's like, you're on TV. You need to stop. People recognise you with the lights. Because they pull up on Soju the Motorway in turn and they're like, that's Hailey Sproul from The Great Kiwi Bake Off.

What she got up there. And then people are going to think they're boogs in the muffins. These boogs probably is. Yeah. Do you want to hear some more fart facts? Most, the average respondent keeps themselves from passing gas 6.5 times, holds it in,

like, uh-oh. Most of these incidents... What are you talking about? Hold it in and it goes up and you feel it go backwards. And then your stomach goes... You've got to take yourself out of the room and do something and then come back.

Yeah. Right. Over a quarter of people think the worst place to accidentally pass gas is during a work meeting or professional outing. Like, yeah, that's a shame. Yeah, 100%. Most people have put a Zoom meeting on mute to have a little toot. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It picks them up. Yeah. You know how sometimes you mute the mic to just clear your throat or something when we're having a sneeze or a cough? Same thing. Just do that. Yeah. Mute. Back on.

You want to get it. You'd want to get it right. On average, six dates. Six dates. Before a fluff. Just toot it out, man. Better out than in. Yeah, I mean, if they can't like you at your worst.

No, remember when I first started dating Aaron and my guts was terrible anyway, and I used to be in pain for holding in my farts. So it's just better just to be you. Let them out and do them a courtesy of pinching their nose if it's really bad. Sorry, Aaron. At 19 past eight, next on the show, Kiwis, we love our home renovation shows like The Block.

You're renovating at the moment. I certainly am. Next on the show, there's an item or a feature in the home that's falling out of fashion. Oh, no. We'll talk about this next. ZM. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Hayley, you're doing renovations at the moment. Boy, am I warm. I was surprised to wake up this morning. The smell of jib glue was so strong when I got home last night. That would explain your mood today at work. What's jib glue? Does it hold the jib to the, I thought you screwed jib on. You still screw it in, but it gets glued.

You glue it on first. You glue it on. Yeah. Far out, man. It is strong. But hey, I got jib. And you know, as Kiwis, we love our renovation shows like The Block. Yeah.

What's that other one that we were talking about? Grand Designs. Grand Designs. Grand Designs is great because it's lovely to see someone with money run out of it, you know? Yeah. I know when they go back six months later and one of them's like divorced or they've died and you're like, oh, did not see that coming. There's an English one where they go back and I think the wife's died and he bought the lighthouse that will destroy me even thinking

about it yeah oh my god heartbreaking and they always blow out it's always always adventurous well uh something that uh a lot of us have in our homes is apparently fall fallen out of trend the kitchen island that was always That was all you wanted. An island was a real show of wealth. My kitchen's big enough to have a bench that doesn't need to be attached, but it's got to be big enough that you can walk around all sides of the bench.

Yes. Yeah. I've never had a kitchen island. Neither. And we're not putting one in either. I would love a kitchen island. Same. But there's just no space.

You need the space. You need the space. And you know what else looks pretty cool about an island when it's got a sink in it? Because where does the water come from? Where does it go? Where does the water come from? Cotton eye Joe.

Or there's an oven in the island. You're like, where is it getting the power from? It's an island. Or there's a little microwave hidden in the side of it. Yeah. Because everything's usually in the walls. Yeah. So when it's not on a wall.

What? And don't tell me it's coming up through the floor. I won't believe it. I won't believe it for a second because I open a cupboard and all I see is a beautiful cupboard underneath. Uh-huh. So, yeah, apparently, you know, trendy for decades, but now they're falling out of trend.

Why? Recent trend reports suggest looser country-style kitchens replete with ornamentation and comfy corners are taking over. What does that mean, Hayley? I'm doing a country style kitchen. What's replete with ornamentation? Like on the doors they have those.

The shaker style. It's called shaker style. That's what we're doing. What is that? I think the ornamentation. Yeah, it's when it's like not just a flat, smooth, modern door, but you've got kind of the door has like a frame around it. That's that country.

It's called shaker style. So replete means filled in or well supplied with something. So lots of ornate decorations, lots of like trims. Trims. And comfy corners. A lot of people do a breakfast nook.

But that's also a show of wealth, isn't it? Who's got the space for a breakfast nook? What's a breakfast nook? So you'd have like, instead of a breakfast bar, right, which is like an unfinished bench, you put stools behind it or whatever, it's like you'd have almost like a diner booth somewhere and you would have a little couchy, cushiony. Who's got the kitchen real estate to be rocking a booth?

That's in the dining room. I know. Like a diner booth. Or money bags. Is it like a bay window? A bay window is just a seat. I don't like when you go to, because we had this at the weekend when we went to BYO, my friends and I, and you get that, when you get the U-shaped booth, and if you sit at the bottom of the U,

you're always, you've always got to do that shuffle along. Yeah. Whenever anyone needs to go to the toilet. Yeah. Don't like it. Don't like that. But it is, it's kind of like a bench seat, you know, and you'd have a little nookie do.

Okay. Well, there you go. Just sorry to give you the bad news, but you're not planning an island? No, we don't have the space. But now I'm going to say it's because it's not on trend. No, we don't have the space. But I love a butcher's block.

Oh, I've got to have a little butcher's block. It's got a wooden top and you can just chop on it without a chopping board. And you get it all like rustic looking. Yeah, yeah, chop, chop, chop. My mum got a butcher's block and then she just put a pot on the stove and made it really hot. And then she put it on there. Oh no, Patsy. No, no, no, she did it for aesthetic.

She did it on purpose. To burn a beautiful hole. When are fireman's poles coming back into trend in houses? Have they done... Bloody hell, have you met Auckland Council, mate? You'd need 18 consents for that. It'd cost you thousands of dollars and then you wouldn't be able to bloody use it.

You'd need a safety... I guess you'd need a safety fence and a gate. You'd need a glass gate that's at least seven foot tall so kids can't get up the pole. PC mad us. PC gone mad. Fact of the day is next. ZM.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Zanes of Olympia. The Zanes of Olympia? Yeah, not a guy called Zane. Okay. Sounds like a good movie title. The Zanes of Olympia.

It's just a bunch of dudes with like, Zanes always have mohawks or rat's tails on my head. Do they? Yeah. Zane. They're rat bags, aren't they? Absolutly. Any name that rhymes with Aine. Yep.

There's a rat bag. Kane. Wayne. Thane Zane There's a few of them Shane Oh Shane's a rat bag Absolutely rat bags

So the Zanes were bronze statues Are you just saying Tane wrong? Oh no it's Tane It's not Tane Tane Impala There's Tame Tame Impala Jack Tame

Jack Tame is the correct pronunciation Yeah correct The Zanes were bronze statues of Zeus Right At the ancient Olympia Now the deal was Zanes was the plural of Zeus Right

So maybe that's the origin of the name Zane as well Named after Zeus, the god of gods Because Zeus is silly Yeah A Zeus The plural of Zeus Zeus's Zeus's is silly. Yeah. The plural of Zeus. Zeus's. Zeus's is silly. Zeus's. Zane's

was the plural of Zeus. So these statues were dedicated to Zeus and who paid for them? Well, that would be people caught cheating at the Olympics. If you were caught cheating at the Olympics, you would have to pay money or like your village or whoever sent you or owned you would have to pay money or like your village or whoever sent you or

owned you would have to pay the fine and then a statue of Zeus would be erected and underneath it would say your name and what you'd done to cheat. As a sort of a deterrent to cheat. But also honouring Zeus, god of gods. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Because this week they've just announced that trammings will be banned for sports people. Yeah, no more tramadols. No more tramadols. Oh, wow. As a pain relief. Which is a really bad painkiller, like highly addictive. Yeah, it is. Highly addictive.

So I guess you've just got to go to the pennies now, do you? The panadols. Just, yeah. The Neurofens. Yeah. It's rough out there. When I had a sore back, that did an okay job. Who was he?

What painkiller was he? I don't know what that was. It was a two. It was a twofer. Oh, you were on the Voltarans, I think. No, Voltarans is a heart on the guts. Brufen? No, not Brufen.

Masogesis. Oh. Is that what I'm after? I don't know. It sounds like a fertilizer. Masogesis? Yeah, I think. Oh, right.

Okay. No, that rings a bell. Yeah, that's a round. That's a thing. Masogesis. Yeah, these, okay. No, that rings a bell. Yeah, that's a round. That's a thing. Magigesis. Yeah, exactly. Cup of Magigesis. Yeah, if you've got like a professional sporting event,

I think they're still on the table. You won't have to pay to have a bronze statue of Zeus erected and then have underneath why and what you've done. So you were like immortalised for the rest of eternity in a statue. Yes. For cheating. So the ones that can still be read, there's an athlete's name on a pedestal.

And the first of the Zanes was erected when Eupolos from Thessaly was fined for bribing three of his opponents in the boxing event to take a fall. Insane, right? Like it was even happening back then. Wow. Take it down there. Six statues were erected later on. There was one called Pankrushin, who also bribed his opponents.

He was an all-force wrestler. Bribing? Yeah, bribing. Old school. What would you bribe? Like, I'll give you four chickens. Yeah. If you throw the match.

Yeah. Yeah, some gold pieces. And a goblet. Serapion was the first athlete to be fined by judges for cowardice because he got nervous and fled the sacred ground. He got stage fright. Was he lacking courage? If I only had a heart.

Yeah, he ran. When he ran from the stadium, he met a scarecrow, a tin man, and a small girl with a dog. No business being there. She had no business. Where were her parents? Oh, back on the other side of the tornado. Unbelievable.

They were in the wind. Right. Yeah. But you were there, and you were there, and you were there too. Cribs. Cribs. But you were there and you were there and you were there too. Grinch. Grinch. So today's fact of the day is if you got caught cheating at the old Olympics, then I think they should bring it back.

You had to pay to have a statue erected that would also say your name and how you'd cheated. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. the tenants were behind on rent. Oh, you can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. If I was the tenant, I'd be like, fine, I'll go to the bathroom on the floor then. Through the hole that the toilet used to be. Well, the thing is, the toilet, I was going to say,

there's still a hole where the toilet used to be and it's on a slight angle. So if you're a person who stands to wee, you could probably get it through there. I'm assuming... I dumped all the stuff in the bath too. Dumped all the toilet and everything in the bath. How petty is that?

That is so pathetic. Yeah. I'm assuming they have rights and stuff like we do. Nope. No. Yeah, no rights. I mean, it's one of those things a house has to have if you're going to rent it out. A toilet.

Yeah. You've got to. We changed that recently, Ace. It was like overhead and underfloor heating, insulation, heaters, and it has to have a toilet. Yeah. I mean, it's your basics. I think it's PC madness, personally,

that landlords should have to supply tenants with toilets. Why aren't they supplying their own toilets? BYO toilet. They're having their hand held through life, these tenants. They want toilets. They want windows. Okay, people might not know you're being sarcastic. I'm being very, very sarcastic. Very, very sarcastic.

But it got us talking about wild landlords. Even now, with all the rules and regulations about having a healthy home and a healthy flat, some landlords just don't know, and they just take the mack. Don't get me wrong. We could duvend definitely talk about wild tenants, but it's not going to be as funny. And we've done that.

It's not going to be as fun. We've also done that before. Yeah. We want the other perspective. We want to know the wildest shenanigans your landlord pulled in your time in their tenancy. I love it. I've been lucky.

I've had quite good landlords sort of lift me to my own devices. They look at Aaron and think he can sort of figure it out. He'll sort that out. He'll sort that out. I'll start. We've had some Instagram responses. I'll get the ball rolling. Okay, you get the ball rolling.

Set the tone. Caitlin said, came into the house when we went there and took the olive oil and the measuring cups. What? Was it theirs? It was their olive. It was the tenant's olive oil measuring cups. Oh no, you can't do that. Excuse me? Were they making a carrot cake? I don't know if they were borrowing them

to return. Yeah, might have been short for a carrot cake. Or how they knew, maybe they came back later and said, oh hi, sorry, I just had to borrow some olive oil and some cups. Were they like landlords that live right next door? I could never do that. Or like live upstairs or downstairs. Because then they're always judging.

Listening. Emile says, they used our flat as storage while we went away for summer without telling us. So we were paying for the house over the summer break and they used it as a storage unit. I mean, it's empty. My landlord was a nude model for drawing classes and asked if we'd like to attend a class. Oh, that's empty. My landlord was a nerd model for drawing classes and asked that if we'd like to attend a class. Oh, that's crossing a line. Yeah, you don't want to get to know them in that way. No.

No. You don't want to see their bits. No, see your landlord's bits and pieces. All right, well, we want to take your calls. 0800 dials at MSN number. You can text as well, 9696. What is the wildest shenanigans your landlord ever put up? We are talking about your landlord's wildest shenanigans.

A UK landlord just ripped out the bathroom because the tenants were slightly behind on rent. It seems like that's only going to cost him even more. Yeah. Anonymous joins us. Good morning, Anonymous. What did the landlord do? The landlord kept a sheep in one of the bedrooms. We didn't see it before we moved in, but they didn't clean it out

before we moved in, and we moved out two days later. What? Oh, wait, so the sheep wasn't a flatmate. The sheep had just been in there previous to your occupation. Yeah, so they kept it in there until we moved in, and they didn't tell us there was a sheep in there. And then when we moved in, we went in the room, and it was... Clothes and wheeze everywhere.

Rotting floors and all sorts of... A sheep inside. That's where you could have farmed. How did you not go into that room when you did the inspection, like the first look through? It was like a little outside area and we were like,

oh, we'll just use those as storage. So that's fine. We don't need to go through them because they just get it. Just two rooms outside. And then when we went in, when we moved in, we were like,

oh, this room is not being used as storage. Yeah, we're storing a sheep. Yeah. Okay, that's wild. All right, keep your calls coming in. Thanks, Anonymous. Talking about the weirdest stuff your landlord has pulled. The stunts, the insane rules.

Somebody, we tried calling them back. They said, sorry, can't talk still. This is ongoing. It's raw. I had a mushroom growing out of my wall. I told my landlord, they came around, they pulled the mushroom out of the wall and then patted the wall

and then that was all they did about that. Oh, no. That's not. And then when the next one grew, they came and did it again. See, I don't understand why landlords, if that's their house and they're making money from it, renting it out,

wouldn't you want it, you wouldn't want a mouldy wall that grows fungi and mushrooms. No, not really. You'd want to fix that so that everybody in the house was healthy and you could continue to have a home that made you money. Yes, correct. Did you chuck them in an omelette though and see whether they were... Yeah, I wonder what sort of mushroom it was. Yeah. You know, roll the dice on that one.

That's a real roll of the dice. A wall mush omelette. Yeah. Our landlord asked us to leave. We were too quiet, and apparently that made us very untrustworthy. What? What? Isn't that like the dream, forgetting that your tenants are even there?

I've had flatmates that, you know, like you don't hear them come home or even... Do you live here? They pop up six weeks later, you're like, you are the best flatmate ever. Yeah. Love that. Julie, what happened? Good morning. The landlord told, I rented this lovely little two-bedroom house,

and underneath it, the back door steps was like a trap door thing that goes underneath the house. And it had this whopping great big padlock on it. And he told me that I was never to go under, never to take it off, never go under there. So I, you know, like, sorry, but I'm going to. So I cut it off. And it was like going into Smurfville.

There was couches and beds and tables and chairs made out of mud and clay. And I just was like, what the hell? Because it was like a bed. There was bedding. It was made like a bed. And so I went and saw him and just said, was like, what the hell? Because it was like a bed. There was bedding. It was made like a bed. And so I went and saw him and just said, you know,

what's going on underneath there? And I said, if you don't tell me, I'm going to have to do something, take it further. And he told me that his parents had been living under there. What? Sorry, sorry. What? On mud?

Dirt? On couches? Yes, I'm not joking you. It was made solidly with dirt and mud, like they were solid. And the bed, even the pillows were made out of mud. And yeah, honestly. That feels creepy. Did his parents exist or was this like a state of psychosis?

Well, you would think, wouldn't you? Because, I mean, I was just shocked because I just thought, has somebody been under here while I've been living here? But, you know, because I was at work all day and he was always so cagey with me. He was like, you'll never, don't ever go, don't take it off.

And I just thought, sorry pal, well, I'm going to. And honestly, I was almost in tears actually because I knew somebody was going to be under there. I've just worked it out. His parents were human-sized earthworms. Oh, that all makes sense. They couldn't even stand up

because they would have had to have just been like... Did you move out? Oh, I did certainly about a week later. That's weird. Amazing. Julie, what a story. Thank you so much. Some messages in our landlord decided to renovate the bathroom

halfway through our tenancy they suggested we use our gym memberships to shower and use the neighbours for the toilet if we need it if you need it

somebody else said landlord and his wife moved overseas more than 13 years ago left me their kittens to look after said they'd send for them when they were established

I still have them 13 years later oh cute are they still renting the same place or have they moved out I don't maybe they moved their kittens to look after said they'd send for them when they were established. They still have them 13 years later. Oh, cute. Are they still renting the same place or have they moved out? I don't know. They would have moved

and taken the cats. Maybe they moved and took the cats. My landlord rang me to ask if her daughter could adopt my unborn baby because, quote, you're too poor

and single to have another child. What? Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. Do you think. Wow. Um... Wow. That is just...

My jaw is on the floor. It is so bad. We had a spa pool and we'd get back to the flat and the landlord would be in the spa pool and we'd say, what are you doing? And he'd be like, well, you know, it's my spa pool, isn't it? It's not. It's not. Yuck. Yeah. Somebody else said our landlord Don't bathe in the water.

Our landlord lived at the end of the driveway. Our house was at the roadside and he'd let himself in all the time to fix things that we hadn't even told him were broken.

No, that's illegal. You can't do that. And it was often when the flat full of girls would be sitting on the couch and not much more than their undies in the heat of summer.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I've come to fix the stove. Of course you have. Hello, Soundkeeper Georgia here.. I've come to fix the stove. Of course you have. Hello, Soundkeeper Georgia here. So I've actually banned producer Jared from playing the Secret Sound guesses from the show in the Fletch, Fawn and Hayley podcast. Instead, you need to listen to our Secret Sound podcast to get it where you can text SECRET9696 and you'll get a link directly to the podcast

or you can just follow our socials, Secret Sound Everywhere. All right. Toodles. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars.

Tell your friends. And we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review and we'll review. We won't

even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.