ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 24th February 2022

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Sanctions  Pax Assadi!  Vaughans Son  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. And just behind the scenes, we're giving Hayley some pee tutorial. Yeah.

Some pee popping. Yeah, well, I went to drama school, not radio school. Yeah. Some pee-popping. Yeah. Well, I went to drama school, not radio school. Yeah. Where we did a little bit of acting for radio, but they have like a studio set up with like, you're in a booth and you've got a pop shield. So I didn't learn proper radio technique and I was listening back to something

and all I could hear is me going, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, with the peas. Not a professional like Vaughn and I. It's not good. back to something and all I can hear is me going any P words. Pippity Pippop. Wow, that's soft. Yeah. And so what was your tip, Lee? So you go across the microphone. So the reason the popping sound happens is because you're it's going right into the microphone. Popping like that.

So you speak across it like you're like please pass the pens. Please pass the pens. Whereas if you're like please pass the pens. Please pass the pens. Do people care about that anymore?

No, but I was told I had terrible mic technique. Fucking here I am. You still. I got. You still. You still have terrible mic technique. You will drag the microphone.

You will manhandle it. But that's because they took away our gooseneck. Mind you, when we had the gooseneck, it squeaked and I'd move it all around. But squeak, squeak, squeak. I like to move. I want a hands-free i want headphones with a built-in microphone like a sports journo yeah i want to be able to walk walk around the studio as i talk and tell i know you're very on your feet but i

mean my when you say across so when you've got a plosive do you you just what you call it okay because it's like explosion things that kind of hit. Bum, bum hole. Butt. Lots of plosives there. So when you have a plosive, you just sort of hush your head to the side. Well, you're just like, you're talking like this and then. Well, you could do this and talk across the top of it.

P. No, point it out. Please. And then just talk across the top of it. Now I've just missed it all. No, you've got to. There's no microphone bit there, yeah. So, okay, I need a sentence with lots of P's.

Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. Okay, see, that was pop-erific. That was popping. Okay. Okay. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. Softer. Much softer.

Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance? Yeah, but you're just going quieter. Exactly. How do I say you don't need to, you don't need to. That's the other drama. You're on a stage. You're broadcasting from the back. I'm an actor. Pull it in. Pull it in. I've got a... Tell an intimate story.

I know. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. There's a lot of P's in there. What are you doing? You don't speak like that on the radio. Well, you sit to the side. Perfect planning. Good morning, everybody. I want to tell you a little bit about perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. There's a lot of P's in there. Well, no, now what are you doing? You don't speak like that on the radio. Well, you sit to the side. Perfect planning. Good morning, everybody. I want to tell you a little bit about perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. And how it affects. You give us an example of perfect planning prevents performance.

Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. It was soft. You do it. I've got a velvety tongue. Yeah, you do have a velvety tongue. You might have heard the rumors. I'm full of air. Yeah, you're very.

Is it too much breath? Okay, less breath. Perfect planning prevents... No, what are you doing? No, you're still talking straight into it. You've got to talk over it like that. You've got to talk across it. Stand up.

Stand up and talk. This is... If anyone's listening and they want to go to broadcasting school, I'm telling you, it's a waste of time. You don't need it. You can do it in five minutes. Here we go. Yeah.

Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. There you go. But then, I mean, look at your mic there. I know. Look at my neck we go. Yeah. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. There you go. But then, I mean, look at your mic there. I know. Look at my neck technique now. Yeah. Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance. Well, good luck with that.

Well, I just – podcast listeners, podcast listeners, be listening out. Bunga. Have you listened to the bunga? Be listening out. A little brain and gum with some made back. Be listening out to see if you can notice the increase in value of my pee technique. Thank you, Rachel. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Four minutes past six. Congratulations, Dame Lisa Carrington. When will the accolades end? Hopefully never. And she was on She's a machine.

Seven Sharp last night. There was a chat about what she was wearing to the Halbergs. Oh yeah. Very small crowd at the Halbergs. I was going to say a very small dress. You know, she can wear what she likes. Well, I'm surprised they even went ahead. Yeah.

It was very restricted. You know, she could wear what she liked. Well, I'm surprised I even went ahead. Yeah. Yeah. It was very restricted. But, yeah, she's winning again. Good. Good on her. She's undeniably supreme. She is. Coming up on the show, we'll give you the chance at around 6.30 to win,

all thanks to Vodafone Super Wi-Fi. Got a prize pack which includes the Wi-Fi Dayco units, water wall Wi-Fi in your house, and a Samsung A7 tablet that's coming up at 630. You've got to identify the iconic pop culture moment or song that is buffering because sadly there is no Vodafone Super Wi-Fi here. I've got to say, if you get it wrong, you'd be the first. We haven't had a wrong guess.

It's very, very easy. The top six on the way? Sure is. The top six sanctions we here in New Zealand can take against Russia, even though the UN said technically we're not allowed to take sanctions. UN. UN who? The World Health Organization.

Yeah, it's like against the law for us too, but why is everyone else doing sanctions? Yeah, the US, Iran, Russia. No butter? Is that on your list? Because we've got lots of that. Well, it was, but it can't be now. Oh, there you go.

Spoiler. I like to make it hard for Vaughan. You should name a couple. No more wool. No more possum nipple covers. Jesus. That's a good one. That's a good one.

Because it's cold there. They need the nips protected, don't they? Bloody cold. No, from what I've seen. Very proud of their nipples. Oh, really? Right, they had them out. You've seen Vladimir Putin out.

Well, I hope this isn't going to stop one of my favourite Instagram accounts. What's it called? Look at this Russian. Yeah. Oh, it won't. If anything, it's only going to be a better Instagram account. Okay, great. Well, the top six dealing with that soon on the show.

Our silly little poll on the way. Today, tackling night owls and morning people. Well, only one is going to be represented at the time that we're doing this. Yes. Because the night owls have probably only recently gone to bed. Yeah. Next on the show, though. Half the people say they're going to start this thing tomorrow, and then they don't.

And I am in this half. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A study that occurred in America, actually. So I picked the wrong accent. You did, yeah. A study that occurred in America looked at diet culture. Found a number of stats about why people diet 51% managing their weight.

I mean, that makes sense. Why would you diet otherwise? Health concerns. Oh. I know. I'm like. I thought you diet otherwise? Health concerns. Oh. I know. I'm like. I thought that was the only, yeah. It's all cosmetic for us.

Yeah. Health concerns. Mood improvement. No, no, no, no. The best mood I've ever been in is when I'm not on one and just eating whatever I want. Absolutely. Wanting more energy and the likes. Yeah.

But one stat that may ring true for a lot of us, half of the respondents said they vow to start a diet tomorrow but never do. I'm always for me, it's always a Monday. Yeah. It's gotta be Monday. Otherwise, if it's not a Monday, I don't bother

because the week's over. Same. It's only gonna get more tempting as the week goes on. Yeah, so if you're on Tuesday going, oh Hayley, come on, you've overdone it a bit. Yeah. I've still got to wait till the next Monday. Yeah, exactly. Could it possibly start in the afternoon? And you can't start on a Thursday because things are going to happen on the weekend.

Absolutely. You've got plans. You've got plans out of your control. Yeah. Absolutely. 57% of people that delay their diets said it was because there was too many options. Like they were just doing that thing where like, I'm just figuring out which one to do.

I'm just figuring out if I'm going to do like keto or like plant-based, high fiber, low carb, high carb. If it fits your macro, any kind of- It's all just calories in there. Calories in, calories out. Calories in, calories out. It's a very straight way of looking at it

but it doesn't always work with women hormones hormones fart it all up here we go excuses from the woman again wow

I mean it is you know eat less move more is the general theory around dieting but I've got I'm like that I'm always like

Monday tomorrow Monday you've been good Fletch I know I've only had one blowout at Vaughan's

party well I did make you eat a square of chocolate as well and I just feel like you're trying to erase that like you've had this clean eating bill

for six weeks you've had that I've had two speed bumps. Me and Vaughan went and got a brioche and you came with us and you didn't brioche. How long have you been doing healthy eating since we started again? Have you not noticed? Well for like, yeah like

six weeks. Did you not remember yesterday when he walked in in a yellow t-shirt and everyone was like Kyle Fletcher, my god. Yeah, he's like, I fit my yellow t-shirt again. I fit my yellow t-shirt. You should just get a a yellow t-shirt and everyone was like, Kyle Fletcher, my girl. Yeah, he's like, I fit my yellow t-shirt again. I fit my yellow t-shirt. You should just get a bigger yellow t-shirt. So much easier.

So much easier. Buy one of every size when you buy a t-shirt. Yeah. So that it's there for any weight range. Yeah. Absolutely. Great idea. I think the small one's going to be of very little use for me.

Well, we'll start on Monday. Yeah, it's Monday. We'll start tomorrow. No, it's Monday. It was burger night at the pub last night, so I've got to start on Monday. What burger did you get? Fish burger. This fish burger.

A fish burger? No. I beg your pardon. It was a fish and chips burger. So it had some chips in it. Cool, cool. Battered fish. Cool, cool.

Mushy peas. Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He almost lost me here. Bring me back. Bring me back. What kind of sauce is in there? Tartier, but homemade tartier with like choppy, chunky gherkins all throughout. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back. I'm back. You're not a Filet-O-Fish person, are you?

Yes, we've been through this. Yum. I thought that was your wife that's a Filet-O-Fish. She's a Filet-O-Fish. So you're both. But she's a Filet-O-Fish. She's a Filet-O-Fish. So you're both... She's a Filet-O-Fish as a secondary burger. That's right, not the main. Oh no, Filet-O-Fish has taken the place of my primary burger. I'm a cheeseburger Filet-O-Fish.

I don't... These looks. It can't be your primary burger. It's not small enough to be my secondary burger. Get two small burgers. What do you got? Filet-O-Fish cheeseburger. secondary burger. Get two small burgers. What do you got? Filet-O-Fish cheeseburger?

Yeah. Those are two small burgers. Two small burgers. You've got to have one big. That's why I'm so trim. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Well, this is bad for the night people. Well, they can listen on the podcast. I'm imagining they must be.

Yeah. Because they are the majority. By the tiniest of margins. 51% night owls. 49% morning persons. Yeah, missing persons. Persons. Peoples.

What did you guys, you'd be a night owl? Traditionally a night owl forced into a morning person lifestyle. So both or neither now because I can't stay up late like I used to. Like late nights ruin me. I had two at the weekend and good lord, look at me.

You're a mess. Look at my eye. You're in a funk. No, I'm not in a funk. I'm reluctant to ever put myself in a funk because once I put myself, if I say I'm in a bit of a funk,

my mind's like, well, and then that's it. I give up. Yeah, right. Power of positive thinking. That's what people well, and then that's it. I give up. Yeah, right. Power of positive thinking. That's what people always say about me. They do. Definitely, I prefer mornings.

Oh, God, no. I'm exactly the same. I used to be like a 2 a.m. bedtime. Yeah. And then this job forces you to become a morning person. And now, yeah, I struggle to stay awake in the evenings. When we did afternoons, oh, you could watch a TV show until 2 a.m.

Oh, yeah, you'd get to 12, and you'd be like, oh, God, I need one more. Yeah. And you'd watch two more. Now, I try to do it now. I'm like, I want to push through this show, and then at 9 a.m., I'm like, 9 p.m., you're doing your heavy heavy.

You're like that at 9 a.'m like, 9pm, you're doing your heavy heavy. I am. I always find when I'm working as a comedian or writer, like night times, or as creative times, I feel that's true for a lot of creatives, a lot of artists come to life at night. Right. They're not solar powered machines. They're not. No. The Night Owl, Just taking it at 51%

Some feedback on it I'd much rather get up at 5am Than stay up past 10pm From Joe Okay Get up at 5 No Are your parents

I mean yours are Because they're dairy farmers But would your parents Be up early Or are they Yeah In the weekends My dad worked

And they live a bit far away From the city So He's used to an early Always up early. He's used to an early riser. My dad's always been an early riser. Don't be coming around me with your cheery ass smiling attitude when you should still be in bed

from Hannah. So that's a night owl speaking there. She's not a morning person. She's not listening now obviously. Not a morning person. Ella says the morning people always come for the night owls. Oh, you've wasted the whole day. But notice that night people never slag off morning people. Well, they're not awake. No, it's because night people want to be morning people.

You do. Like, if you have those weekends where you're so hungover, you just sleep until 9 or 10, which is late for us, normally waking up at 4 or 4.30. Yeah. You do feel like you've wasted a lot of the day. You do, because then you get up, and by the time you sort of meander about and brush your teeth and think about breakfast,

it's nearly time for lunch. It really stuffs up my meals because I'm like, wait, wait, wait, where's the meals? That's a good way of putting it. Like, do you structure your day around your meals? Absolutely. I structure my life around meals. Yeah, me too.

Imagine not. Imagine not being, like, fussed by food. It's like those people that are like, oh, my God, I was so busy, I forgot to eat. I'm like, my whole brain the whole time is like, where's the food? Where's the food? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's the food? Put something in your mouth.

More food? You're like, hey, hey, stop that for a minute. Put something in your mouth. Yeah. Lisa said 100% early birds, 6 a.m. alarm, 7.30 at work, gym after work. I could even start earlier. That's good structure. It is.

Jeez, good. Very good. Just a working radio. Stacey said, I'm at my best at lunchtime. So what am I known as? Like a slow starter? Yeah, slow starter. Just takes a while to get going.

Yeah. Crystal said, I'm a night owl but have been forced into it. I have children that do not sleep and will not go to sleep. Yeah, children must change everything. I think it really just topsy-turvies it. Like, you just sleep when you can. Night medicine. Can't you give them back?

That too? Can you give them back? Give them that sleepy night medicine? Absolutely. Or a bit of Jameson's? Whiskey, yeah. No, brandy. Oh, brandy.

It's the preferred alcohol for children worldwide. Not vodka? No. Oh, okay. It goes straight to the head. So, yeah, there you go. All right. That's one.

I mean, it doesn't get closer than that unless it's 50-50. Yeah. Pretty close poll there today. There's a new helpline that is going to be rolled out nationwide very soon. It's 0800 DECIDE. It's going to be run by Family Planning

and Women's Clinic, funded by the Health Ministry. And it is a 24-hour abortion helpline where not only we have to talk to someone about the decision or what's going on, but also

over the phone they can actually prescribe and then courier out to you pills for an early medical abortion. I don't know if people know this, but if it's early enough, it can be a pill. Rather than an invasive procedure.

Right. Which is after what? A certain amount of weeks? Certain amount of weeks, I think, yeah, it has to be something done in person. But this can, this is pretty amazing actually

because not only is there like a massive barrier for people that are in remote areas or maybe not near a clinic where they could get help with it. But I think a lot of people feel a lot of shame and embarrassment around this topic. Well, you think if you were reliant on someone to get somewhere. Yeah. Or, yeah, you don't have a mode of transport to get there at all.

Or supportive parents. Exactly. Yeah. So if you remember in 2020, the legislation was passed decriminalising abortion. But I mean, it's not a crime. It's never been a crime, really. Yeah. But also it removed the requirement.

There used to be a requirement to have two doctors to approve you to have a termination. So, and I remember, I mean, that was like, one's like medical and another part of it is this whole, like they interview you to make sure psychologically that you're making the right decision. I think for a lot of people that was like, that's more traumatic to go through that experience than the actual termination itself. So they removed that, the need to get two doctors. So if this service, 0800 DECIDE, D-E-C-I-D-E,

you can just call and have a consultation with a health practitioner and if that's the decision you come to, they can prescribe it then and there and then courier them to you. Right. What if you're after that certain amount of weeks?

I'm not sure. Do they help you through the next bit? Yeah, so then you could, if it's too late on or too far in, they'll refer you to someone and help you figure out how you're going to get there and then go and see someone in person. They're saying in-person care is obviously very essential and they're always going to provide it, but for some people that's not an option.

When does this begin? Does it have a start date or is it just kind of like starting now? Yeah, I think it's starting now. and they're always going to provide it, but for some people, that's not an option. When does this begin? Does it have a start date or is it just kind of like starting now? Yeah, I think it's starting now. They say it's already available in abortion telehealth services currently now being offered in Auckland, Bay of Plenty, Mid-Central, Wairarapa, Whanganui and Southern District Health Boards. Oh, so quite a few. But nationwide it's going to be available.

Right. Well, it's an 0800 number, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. 0800 decide. I think this is awesome. I think it will help a lot of people. Well, with the rising cost of every single thing in the world right now. Fuel.

Is there anything that's not rising? House prices have... Well, that's... I mean, they're not not rising. They're still ridiculous. They've been rising nonstop for like 12 years. Yeah, still ridiculously expensive. What's not... What prices aren't rising at the moment?

So a study's been done looking at when it comes to buying your partner a gift in these tough times and how much you expect them to spend. Is money no barrier? I like things.

You do like things? I like things. It's not about the money, is it? No, it's not. Well, what about your love language if you're a gift receiver? Gift giving or gift receiving is not in either of our...

You just got far too expensive to keep. So if your love language is gift receiving, you're absolutely unlimited time. You're costing everybody a fortune. Well, a new study has found that two-thirds of people would prefer their partners play it safe and don't break the bank for romance. 66%.

But that's still leaving, you know, 35, 34% of people who... Who are like, where's my big gift? Spend money on me. Spend money on me, even though everything is so expensive right now. Yeah, I don't like a lot of money being spent on me. But when it comes to like a big occasion, I might want a nice big gift. What's a big occasion?

Like we celebrated 10 years last year. Okay. Or something like that. Or like a 30th or a 40th birthday. Right. But if it's like your 24th birthday or something, or your 17th wedding anniversary, you know, it's like,

I don't think big gifts are necessary. We do, me and Aaron tend to do like a joint thing. So we'll go like at Christmas instead of, because Christmas is always tight, the end of the year. Yeah. Not a lot of work around. You're about to take a big break.

We'll just go, oh, let's buy something together. Right. Like a house plant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or oh, let's buy something together. Like a house plant or a night out at an awesome restaurant. And that way and then not an individual gift. Right. But you still kind of want.

But would you be upset if it was a big occasion and you got like a gift that was... A scrapbook. Somebody say a scrapbook. I don't want to say cheap because it would still be well thought out but it's the thought it's the thought right?

it's not how much you spend you're giving mixed messages here I know because I also want a diamond ring and it's sort of, I didn't get it I didn't get it you're in that 34% break the bank take out a loan for me

yeah I'll forego tomatoes, kumara that 34% break the bank take out a loan for me yeah I'll forego tomatoes kumara and petrol lettuce and petrol yeah

I just need like just on my index finger right it's empty it will look great when you're cycling to work it will it looks so cute

from the sophisticated ZM Think Tank this is the top six. Hi. Hello. Hello. New Zealand can't put sanctions on countries. Isn't that crazy?

But other countries can put sanctions on other countries. Is it because we're not part of some council or something? Some club. Sanctions are a common tool. This is from the MFAT Govt NZ Peace, Rights and Security UN sanctions. Sanctions are a common tool for seeking to influence foreign governments and individuals to change their behaviour. The UN can impose sanctions in response to a threat to international peace and security

as a UN member state, New Zealand, is bound by the UNSC's decisions. Right, so unless you're a superpower, yeah. Or, yeah, you can't. They're big dogs. Right. We've currently got some sanctions. Oh, do we? Yeah.

40. Well, 1991, Iraq. Oh, yeah. Okay. 2004, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Sudan. Then, of course, in 2007, we said, sorry, no more butter to Al-Qaeda and the Taliban. Oh, okay.

Take that. Maybe if we can have a very dry toast. Central African Republic, South Sudan, Somalia, Libya and Mali. Don't forget, Kony 2012. Did we hit him with no butter? Was he in Guinea-Bissau? Yeah, we hit him with no butter? Was he in Guinea-Bissau? Yeah, we hit him with no butter. With no butter for you.

So we can't do it, but let's say we can. The top six sanctions New Zealand could put in place against Russia, because that's why people are looking at sanctions to get their behaviour sorted. Number six on the list of the sanctions New Zealand could put into place against Russia. No more pineapple lumps or any of their latest monstrous takes on the classic by those gross feet not for me but pineapple lamps i love a pineapple lump yeah they look quite like the banana but ones they did yeah yeah yeah they're like a perky nana lump those were right that's right number five on the list of the top six sanctions new Zealand can put into place against Russia.

No more trees. No more logs. No more logs. No more logs. No more trees. No more paper. You can't have any more of our trees.

Yeah. No more buildings. Yeah. Wow. They've probably got their own trees. But I mean, our trees,

no one does better trees than us. Oh, we've got great trees. Yeah, great trees. Man, we do trees well. Have you seen how tall and straight they go?

And girthy. So girthy. And how quick. How quick. Oh yeah, good trees.thy. So girthy. And how quick. How quick. Oh, yeah. Good trees. Yeah. We're proud of our trees.

No more trees for you, Russia. No more trees for you. We'll keep our own trees then. Fine. Number four on the list of the top six sanctions New Zealand could put into place against Russia. No more manuka honey. Good luck without your magical honey, Russia. Yeah.

You just got dumb honey. Dumb old... Clover honey. Clover honey. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover. Clover got dumb honey. Dumb old... Clover honey. Clover honey. Clover. Clover bling. It's not running. Not running.

Gritty paste. Yeah, yeah. Embarrassing for them. Yeah, I'm... I'm embarrassed for them. Yeah, I'm sad for you actually, comrade. That's... You don't get in that magical honey with the unique manuka factor.

Yeah. No butter, no honey. Go on, imagine. In the state of their crumpets. Absolutely. Boring crumpets. Number three on the list of the top six sanctions New Zealand could put into place against Russia.

No more weird sexualized sheep clothing. Oh, okay. Yeah. You know those, you go into like a tourist store and there'll be like a New Zealand where the men are men and the sheep are scared or there'll be like

a sheep like putting a leg out of a car and like wearing lipstick and looking like Thelma and Louise. Yeah. Like welcome to New Zealand. Weird that we do this.

Why do we do this? I don't know why we do this. I saw one once and it had a sheep was in like fishnet stockings. I'm like, is that a sex worker sheep? Yeah,

why are we leaning into that stereotype? Let's not. Lean out. Lean out. I have seen a few pretty sexy sheep in my lifetime. Okay, calm down over there. Got a preferred breed?

Woolly. It's the South Suffolk for me. Number two on the list of the top six sanctions New Zealand could put into place against Russia. No more bottled air. Remember when New Zealand was selling bottled air? Yeah. It was compressed. Yeah.

And you could be like, do you want to know what New Zealand smells like? Fresh. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to have any more of that, Russia,

I'm afraid. Suck it. And number one on the list of the top six sanctions New Zealand can put into place against Russia. You know what Russians love? Booze.

So no more double brown, flame,, Rynek, Ranfurly, Cody's, Diesel's, Maverick's, Raspberry Cruiser's, Long White's, Pal's, Part-Time Rangers, KGB's, Lion Red's, White Kiddos, Mad Jack's or Kristoff's. God, we make some second-rate booze here, don't we? God, we're bad at booze. And we love it. We love it.

We love it. We love it. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know

on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. PlayZM This is a study that was done in Israel.

They invited 278 diners to a cafe to eat solo. Fun. And they said to each of these 278 people, you can order two items, eat them, and then pay and leave. Okay. Or I'd go... Wait, hang on. They invited us to this thing, but then we've got to pay for it.

Well, this. I got a savoury and a sweet. Well, you could order anything you wanted. And I guess people just thought they were maybe being observed eating. Yeah, right. But what they were looking at is how they paid at the end because they deliberately left an item off their bill. Oh.

Now, if that happened, would you flag that with the person and say you've missed an item? Depends on the item. Because I don't mind if they leave, like, you know, when you go to a BYO and they leave off a corkage, because I always think that's too expensive.

$5 for my own bottle. Especially if, well, they've got to wash your glass, though. They've got to provide the glass. A $5 glass wash? It's like charging for plates. It should be two. Thank you.

That's right. That is right, actually. What if they left off a main from a whole meal? If they left off a main, I think I would bring it up. If they left off a fry, that's all you get. If you're out at dinner for two and they leave off a main, you're going to say something. You've got to say something.

What if you were out for dinner with like 12 people, you were going to pay, everyone was going to pay you back, and they left off for Maine? No, no. So it's a percentage thing for you? Yeah, I think so. It's a percentage of total bill. So out of the 278 participants that had an item left off, over half, 169 failed to point out the error and just paid and left.

But how many of those did notice the mistake? Did they say, oh, check your bill? Well, no, they didn't say check your, I mean, they didn't say check your bill, but I'm assuming they gave them a receipt. Yeah, when you get the receipt and they go, here's your bill. I mean, I don't look at it unless it was like, in my mind, I'm like, that's how much I think dinner would be. And then I look at it and I'm like, yep, pay. I just, pay away.

There was confusion around your order, like you ordered a drink, but then you're like, oh, actually, I'm going to change it to this. And then you might see they've charged you for something. So this is a good win for the team female. 16% more likely to report the missing item. So more honest than men. Interestingly, 20% of customers, people that were paying for their meal with a credit card,

were 20% more likely to flag the error because there's another... Transaction. There's another transaction. There's another interaction with the server and then they might notice it but then I would have thought that cash is the same thing, right? Wouldn't you more likely notice with cash?

I always look at the bill because you're looking for them overcharging. Yeah, same. So then if you notice an undercharge Yeah, I'm trying to think if I do say that. Sometimes, same. So then if you notice an undercharge, yeah, I'm trying to think if I do say that. Sometimes, I reckon they always leave drinks off. Like if you're out for dinner,

even if it's a group of two or four, and you're there and you're ordered like a few drinks, like, oh, get another one of those. Same again, same again. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I can see that that's left off and you'll see like it says four rosés and you're like, no. That's just because they couldn't keep up

with your insane amount of drinking. She just can't. It's not hated. It can't be hated. It's got to be fought. She's so cold sober. Look at her in the eyes. But it can go the other way too.

She's a tank. You can have extra drinks on it. Well, we got shifted at a table recently when I was at dinner with a friend and halfway through they were through, they were busy, and it was the restrictions and everything. They said, can we just move you? You don't have to leave if you're just going to have dessert and drinks.

Do you mind moving over there? We were just like, absolutely. But then when it came to pay, the people that had sat down at the table that we'd left had ordered entrees, hadn't had, but had ordered their mains, and that all came up on our bill. Oh, no. So he's like, you just scrub what you didn't have.

I could have literally been like, nah. Not those drinks. Not us. Not our drinks. Yeah, but old Smithy, he's. I was honest. You were honest. I'm as honest as the day is long.

Yeah. Okay. And I mean, now especially is probably not the time to be taking advantage of. Hospitality. Hospitality. Absolutely not. I don't know if you've seen the stories in the last few days, but people are just not

coming into the cities, especially in Auckland. Oh yeah, totally. Hats off to Hospo, who are doing the hard grind when a lot of people are worried about even leaving their house. And they can't even staff the places. This is what I said earlier, we can't be dieting in a time like

this. We need to be going out and supporting these places. At least getting takeaways from these places. This is what I said earlier. We can't be dieting in a time like this. We need to be going out and supporting these places. At least getting takeaways from these places. We've got to get takeaways. I'm going to get takeaways. I went to the pub last night. I'm going to get takeaways tonight.

I'm going to get takeaways for lunch even because I care about New Zealand. You are Atlas, aren't you? Thank you. You know the statue of Atlas and Atlas is holding the world. Thank you.

Except the world is the hospitality industry. And I am propping that thing up. You are really giving it your best. I kind of want the government to do what they did in the UK and did they do it in parts of Australia where they just give us vouchers so we can go and spend at hospo? Yes. Because I would nom those up.

Yeah, I'd say that'll be happening again on the horizon, right? At some stage. You'd hope so. Yeah, good luck to all you hospo people out there doing it tough. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This is very exciting TV news. A brand new New Zealand TV show called Raised by Refugees starts tonight on Prime and then Sky Go and then available the whole season on Neon tomorrow.

Written and starring my very good friend Pax Asadi and he joins us. Good morning, Pax. Good morning, Hayley. Lovely to hear from you, my friend. We'll keep our personal relationship off air, shall we? But we'll catch up later. No, let's put it out there for everyone to know about.

Yes, let's do that. Sexual chemistry here. I can almost taste it. It's not sexual, purely plutonic. No, we've had physical altercations. We have. In a hospital. We had a physical altercation in a hospital.

It's crazy. We were some crazy times before. Why were you fighting in a... We can't get into it. You don't even drink. How do you end up brawling Hayley Sproul in a hospital? Well, I drink. Hayley knocked. You don't even drink. How do you end up brawling Hayley Sproul in the hospital? Well, I drink. Hayley knocked over a woman with Alzheimer's.

She won't remember. Please don't come on this station and slander my name like that, Pax. But it's good to talk to you, Hayley. But it's good to talk to you. It really is, man. Hey, Raised by Refugees, very exciting. Tell us a little bit about the show. It's a sitcom about a 12-year-old version of me growing up in 2001 Auckland,

roughly five or six days after 9-11 happened. Wow. Yeah, so it sounds bleak. It is a comedy show. It's about how my life got turned upside down Jeez, that sounds a lot like Fresh Prince Should we just take a minute to sit right here? I can think of a different way to explain it

Yeah, gotcha So it's set in Auckland But I thought you spent your time in Hamilton Did you move to Hamilton later? I moved to Hamilton later My first 14 years of life were in Auckland Right, so if you thought the racism's bad in season one, wait for season two, Hamilton.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets really bad. But it's essentially about how I went from, like, just a mysterious ethnic guy, you know, like, butter chicken guy, magic carpet guy. Yeah. Magic carpet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was butter chicken magic carpet Guy. Yeah. Magic Carpet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was Butter Chicken Magic Carpet Guy. Wow. And then overnight turned into the bad guy in movies. You know what I mean? Yeah. And for a 12-year-old, that's a lot to process. Of course.

And especially back in 2001, I mean, bullying was 100% acceptable in the early 2000s. Yeah, even the teachers were getting in on it. Yeah. It was, like, fully acceptable. Yeah, and in the show, amazingly, you play your own father. Yes, I do. How was that experience?

What did Dad make of your portrayal? He thinks I sound nothing like him while speaking in a voice that sounds exactly like the one I did on the show. He's like, that's not how I sound. And I'm like, are you sure? But it was weirdly easy, which is really revealing

because it means I'm very much like him. Do you think acting's now your number one path? You're going to move away from stand-up? You're going to do some real gritty stuff? You're going to do some real gritty stuff? You know, like Jim Carrey started doing drama. No, no, no, no. Like I said, it was a little bit of an unfair

advantage because I'm playing the man that raised me. Yeah. And it was just easy to slip into like a disgruntled Middle Eastern man. I am a disgruntled Middle Eastern man but, you know, I just turned the dial up a little bit and that was that.

To actually transform into something different, different character, I think I don't, I don't know if I'd be able to do it, but this was just a, it was half a step to the left and then I'm my dad, you know?

Yeah. What you experienced around that time, do you think that kind of led to you getting into comedy? Like your defence against it was the comedian angle? The dark arts my defence against the dark arts, yeah Yes, absolutely

that very specific moment where I learned that fact, that humour is my defence, is in the show and it's very like pronounced and it's very deliberate because that's how it happened in real life there was a moment in my life when my brain went be funny and they'll stop teasing you um and that moment is in the show and it was it was something i held on to

for the rest of my life which obviously is why it led me to doing jokes for a living right and what's it like casting someone to play your younger self? Well, so it was an interesting process. 200 kids applied, a few middle-aged white men applied. And I tell you what, they got close.

Yeah, I know, I know. I had a couple of callbacks. I was like, I can do it. I can do it. It was you and six other little South Asian kids in the final call. I know. I know. I found the kid. So the kid that played me, Kenneth, he's amazing.

I love him. My wife and I were at a movie theater, and there was a group of kids hanging out. We were watching Wonder Woman. When Wonder Woman came on the screen, Gal Gadot came on the screen, a young boy of Indian descent stood up and started clapping. I assume at her hotness because she has a huge level of hotness. Yeah, she does. And the whole theater started cracking up.

Then throughout the movie, he started cracking jokes. And in my head, I was like, oh, my God, this theater is going to get so annoyed at this kid. But he was getting laughs. He was like crushing the gig. And then near the end of the movie, my wife was like, you have to talk to him. And I was like, about what?

And she was like, your show, idiot. I was like, right. It's because I was like, this feels really inappropriate for like me to be like, to go up to him and be like, hey kid, you want to be in my TV show? But I did it. It was as awkward as I thought it was going to be. His friends were like telling him to like get out.

And I said, look, man, he was really confused. I said, look, man, just give me your mom's number and don't worry about it. I'll leave you alone. And he was like, okay, fine. Gave me his mom's number. I gave it to production. Production contacted his parents.

He put in an audition tape. I didn't think he would do it, but he did and he was the kid. Now he's a star on a TV show. Absolutely amazing. Proving that the class clown that teaches poo-poo on has two examples of them doing quite well for themselves.

Well, Pax, I'm very excited. I haven't seen anything like this on our Kiwi screens before. It starts today, 8.45 on Prime, and then goes to Sky Go, and then even on Neon, you swish little boy. Tomorrow, tomorrow, you can watch the whole thing on Neon. Absolutely incredible. Pax, congratulations. Can't wait to watch it.

Thank you, guys. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Hi, Vaughn here, father of two. And last night, because I've got, I set it up. It took so long. Oh, my God. I gave Indy my old phone and August has got this iPad and I set it up to family, the family sharing that you can do in Apple.

So if I download an app, they can request to download it onto their device as well. Right. And vice versa. And I can, like, see what's happening on these apps, onto their device as well. Right. And vice versa. And I can, like, see what's happening on their tablets and stuff. How old are they again? Indy just turned 10. August will be 8 in June. Could you imagine being 10 or 8 and having an iPhone or an iPad?

No. Wild, eh? It is crazy, eh? Different times. I was 10 in 1992. I don't even remember people having home computers. One person had a home computer then. Yeah, see, I'm the home computer generation.

We had one and me and my brother had to share. Of course you had one. Just because I'm 32. I'm nearly 10 years younger than both of you. Right. Carry on. So growing up in black and white, we had to stop the dinosaurs

We had to stop the dinosaurs from eating our fax machines But we did it And we survived And we're stronger for it But so I set this up So the photos and videos they take on their phone Pop up on my phone as well In the album

So last night I opened it up to I think it was when I was sending you guys How hot it was Only here it was like 32 degrees. It was 32 and a half degrees at 6pm last night at our place. And it felt like 39. It's a monk climate out there, isn't it? Absolutely it is.

You know, we got it a lot from the westerly, which are wobbling temperatures. Oh, something, something, something. And it wasn't humid either. It was that real hot Yeah. Hot off. Baking. Anyway, when I was going in to edit that photo to send it on through, lo and behold, I see a photo of a boy on my phone.

A boy I don't know. And he's in bed. He's in bed. So I immediately say to Sade, do we know who this is? And she looks at it and she's like, no. And so I was like, girls! Wow, it's already started. And they're not even teenagers.

Who's sending you photos of themselves in bed? And then it was that they'd come out and I'm like, just about to have that, and then I see at the bottom it says Face App, and this is a gender swap. What? My daughter's like a gender swap, but it's not only a gender swap. Apparently, it's Indy, my oldest,

crossed with Joe Biden. Now, Joe Biden, why Joe Biden? I don't know. My kids talk about Joe Biden a lot. Why? I think who they follow on TikTok must talk about Joe Biden. Oh, okay. It's never like bad stuff.

It's not like they're following a whole lot of Trump pages. I was going to say, look, it could be so much worse. They're not calling him like Jittery Joe or anything like that. Snoozy Joe, Sleepy Joe. No, they just know who Joe Biden is. And so apparently that's Joe Biden. He's a good looking kid. He's a good looking kid.

I mean, your daughter's beautiful, but it doesn't look like her. There's not a lot of her in there. There's the blue eyes and that's about I personally think Sade should have a baby with Joe Biden. And we just try and see what happens to this guy. You would raise him as his own? I'd raise him as my own. He's a good looking kid. And

Joe Biden's still got a pretty good head of hair for a dude his age. Yeah, he does. He does. We could skip the ball, Gene. Get this kid out there with a full head of hair. Ripping the Smith name. Wow, but you were just about to let loose. Who the f is this?

What's that got? Guys that are mates. Look at this little grin and he's taking a photo in bed. Yeah. Not today, buddy. It's cute. I should have noticed that's our exact like duvet colour in pillows. I should have caught. No, I was just, I was blind and with dad rage.

With the, I've questioned as a non-parent in this technological time, when does the like computer monitoring stop? Like what age do you go? You have your own private engagements. I never. Never? My mum still sees everything I put on my phone. Yeah, right.

She's got a child protection. What does she think about that? She's okay. She's okay with it. She's like, what's that? I'm like, oh God, it's my penis. And she's like, oh, it's doing all right. Haven't seen that for a while, that sort of stuff.

Something I haven't seen before. No, my mum doesn't have access to my phone and no, I don't take photos of my penis either. Unless it's to send to a medical professional. Be like, is this normal? But again, that's nothing I've done recently. Do you just text your doctor? You'd have to give them a warning.

I'm about to send you a photo for medical purposes. Don't ask me how I got your number. And I know it's 10 o'clock on a Saturday night, but what's this? No, that hasn't happened either. I honestly don't think I've ever taken a photo of my private. Oh, you did? The one, the blurry accidental Snapchat story. He accidentally uploaded his balls to Snapchat.

I was trying to send it to Sade, but her name, and it was like my story and Sade or whatever it was. It was late at night, luckily, and I clicked on it, and it went up, and I was like, help. And then I couldn't see that it said Sade. I was like, where's that gone? And then it was on my story, but it was only up for, and then I found how to delete a story in like 45 seconds

and there was no eyes on it. No eyes? Damn. Damn. So close. So close. Executive intern Anya went to the doctor yesterday. I said, you ain't got a coffee coffee, but I said it's up to you

whether or not you say what took you to the medical professional. Or we just leave that absolute air of mystery about it. We'll keep it brief. I've had a wild allergic reaction to a new pair of shoes. It's quite wild too. It's the wildest. It's where the straps were, the rashes.

It's like you're still wearing the shoes, but instead of them being black leather, it's pink burnt skin. It is. It's a little bit of a bummer, actually. That's now cost me, I don't know, nearly probably $350 all up shoes plus medical bills. Is that ACC? Can you get ACC for that?

I feel it should be. And the rash is really you craning into the rest of your foot, isn't it? Like it's Russia and it's like we'll have that bit and that bit. It's swallowing up. It is spreading. So I have spent the last three days at home with my feet in the air with peas on and the strongest steroid cream on the market. It appears nothing is working.

But look, it's fine. Have you tried prayer? Now that I haven't That's the problem You haven't been praying Now as a fellow Catholic I think maybe we should

hold a mass I'm going to dust off those Hail Marys when I get home Get the rosary out A couple of Hail Marys and a few Our Fathers I don't even think

Jesus is going to want to go near that Even Carwin doesn't want to sit there Jesus healed the lepers and No way. He'd be like... Even Carwin doesn't want to sit there. Jesus healed the lepers and he'd walk in and be like, ah! Imagine Mary Magdalene

getting down to those feet to wash them. Yeah, to wash them. I'm out, I'm out. I don't do fungal. I don't do fungal. I'm a Hindu now. Oh, God.

Yeah. It's grim. Anyway, that's fun. But you tried a classic gag with the doctor? Yeah. While I was there, I was also like, oh, because I dabble in insomnia too. So I was like, give me a top up of all of the things.

Doctors love it when you come in with a list. Oh, yeah. They've got all these amazing signs now. Like you said, it's not cheap. You might as well get the shopping list. Wait till you've got five. I do it every time. Possibly terminal.

And as long as you're staying within the 15 minute window I feel like it's fair game like if I was taking up other people's time fair enough charge me extra but if I'm in my window

give it to me all and you've got three minutes left absolutely why not ask about the M song I always get a box of panties

of their friends panties newries high strength pamo for the kids you never know when the kids are going to get

bloody sore bit. I want it all. Yeah, so I got it all. And then as she gave me all the prescriptions, she handed me this big bloody clump of paper. And I was like, I could start my own pharmacy with this. And she looked me dead in the eyes and did not laugh. And I was like, not only do I feel like a dick,

but also you've obviously heard this probably once or twice that day. Does she now think maybe you're a drug addict? I think so. Is that what she's looking for? You know, when people make comments like, I'm going to start

my own business or whatever. Oh, I could sell this to people on the street. Well, she's going, well, I'm going to take that prescription back. To very rashy folks on the street.

Yeah. It's a niche market, but you know what? Everyone gets a rash. Well, I've got a bit of a rash, so I'm keen to head to your little shop. So you used a gag that would

be an industry favourite, really. It would be an industry overused gag. I'd say so, yeah. Like asking the lotto person for the winning ticket. Oh yeah! I'm going to do a triple dip and make sure it's the lucky numbers.

Oh my god. I just get so sick of it, eh? You would hate it. But on the back of this, we wanted to ask you this morning, do you get the same gag over and over again in your line of work? And we want to know what it is.

Whether or not you're the doctor that gets it, or could start my own pharmacy with this. You sound just like Anna. Yeah, that's how she sounds. That's probably how she said it. Or you work, whatever your job is, dealing with people in your line of work, customers or other industry people, what's

the gag that everybody uses and you're sick of it? Yeah. I'm trying to think if I've got one, but I don't. My one's always tell us a joke then. Oh, when you're a parent. Yeah, when you're like, oh, yeah, working comedy. Give us a joke. Make us laugh, funny girl.

More of a storyteller. Why don't you tell us what are your stories then? Hey, well, you don't have the time. Well, 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. You can text 9696. Do you get the same gag in your line of work, and what is it? Right now, though, on the show, Executive N29, you went to the doctor, tried a gag about starting her own pharmacy.

It didn't go down well at all, this gag. Like a lead balloon. Because it's a gag that doctors get every day. And we want to know from you this morning, what are the gags that you always get in your line of work? What do people always say to you? Somebody said, I'm a police officer. And I tell you what, good after-ball, cunts the noon, wore thin pretty quick.

We still get it. Still get it. Yep. Yep. Do you reckon they get blow on the pie or whatever it is? Oh, maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Customs officer, I always get the, oh, she's putting on the rubber gloves, bend over. Oh, gosh. That was always one that they tried. A friend of mine is a potter, a ceramicist. She teaches pottery

on the pottery wheel and everyone who goes to her classes always puts on Unchained Melody. Oh, from Ghost. Have you seen someone's put the cat

onto the pottery wheel? It's so good. The cat's like, meow. The cat's spinning around. It's good, isn't it? Barrister said, if you ask if they need sugar, the amount of people The cat's spinning around. Barrister said, if you ask if they need sugar, the amount of people that say, no, I'm sweet enough already.

And you have to fake laugh. Like it's not the same every second person uses it. I wouldn't laugh. I'd just say I've heard that before. And I work for a dentist and people love the old 2.30 appointment time. If you gave someone 2.30 as an appointment time, which is literally an appointment time every single day. Ha, ha, ha, ha, 2.30 appointment time. If you gave someone 2.30 as an appointment time, which is literally an appointment time every single day, they'll be like, ha ha ha ha,

2.30! So much so that now I say their appointment's at quarter past two just so they arrive early. We are talking about what gag you get faced with multiple times a day

at your work and everyone who's chucking it at you probably thinks it's maybe the first time you've heard it. Or they don't care! They don't, no everyone who's chucking it at you probably thinks it's maybe the first time you've heard it. Or they don't care. They don't know.

They know you hear it all the time. I tell you what, I've had a few audiologists message the show. Okay. Have a very good morning to you. I hope you can hear us. Which is basically what people say to them all the time. Someone comes in for work,

comes, comes in, they'll be like, I'm ready to see you. They'll be like, what? Now, they might actually be hearing impaired because they're at an audiologist. Yeah. But then they laugh straight afterwards.

And that's something I don't want as a hearing test because I know that this job has made me so deaf. Sometimes when you, I can hear your speakers off your ears and I'm like, you're so loud. No, you heard when I plugged in this morning, that was Clint's headphone level. Oh, his ears are burst. Clint's as bad, but he's also younger,

so he's probably worse when he gets to that age. Yeah. But, no, I forgot what I was going to say. Ears, audio.

Oh, no. You, that's, Fletcher's ears, Fletcher's ears. No, I'm having my own aneurysm,

leave me to it. I support it. No, you should just start learning sign language now. So that when your hearing completely goes, you're already all over the internet. No, you should suggest that learning sign language now. So that when your hearing completely goes, you're already all over the internet. Hearing aids, like a spy. One of those ones that goes right in your ear.

How about hearing aids now too? When I was a kid, they were massive. They were like, doot, doot, doot. That tiny little boop in your ears. Yeah. Amazing. All right, this is not a spawn for Bay Audiology. I would have gone for Triton.

Well, I don't know. Neither. Oh, classic in retail, if an item doesn't scan, you can see it burbling its way up their throat before they say, Must be free then. Oh, that's me. I say that all the time.

All the time. Oh, there's a little tag on this. Must be free. Must be free. Becky, what's me. I say that all the time. All the time. Oh, there's a little tag on this. Let's be free. Becky, what's your line of work? I'm a painter. Does that paint one of those tunnels like Wile E. Coyote and then run through it? Are you a painter?

That would be my one. She sounds a bit young for that. Are you a painter like an artistic painter or like a house painter? No, no, like a tradie. Oh, yeah? Actually, can you stay on the line after this? I need to get a quote.

We're mates, eh? Yeah, we do that all the time too, but that's not the gag. Yeah, what's the gag? So if I'm at the supermarket and obviously after a hard day's work and then people will come up to me and go, oh, did you actually get any paint on the wall today? Oh. after a hard day's work and then people will come up to me and go, oh, did you actually get any paint on the wall today? Oh.

I guess. Did you hear our eyes roll so far back? I know. Oh no, you'd get sick of that. Hayley Jaden, good one, good one. All right,

Becky, just wait there. You can quote Hayley in a second. Yeah, thank you. Jess, what's your line of work and what's the gag? Hey guys, so I'm a phlebotomist. Oh, sorry.

The blood takers. Yes, I am. Vampire. Yep. Is that a gag? Yep, you guys have got it. Yeah! Really? Do people say that to you? Are you a vampire? Oh, yeah. Oh, the old guys in the hospital are the worst. You walk into the room and they say,

oh, here she is. Come suck her blood. Get her sex. Oh, wow. Oh, yes old guys in the hospital are the worst. You walk into the room and they say, oh, here she is. Come suck our blood. Get her sex. Oh, wow. Oh, yes. You should just put your mouth on the hole and suck away and just shock them out of it. Oh, I want a tattoo that says professional vampire. There you go.

You should get dressed up as like if some old boy has been in there for a little while. One day, like, take one at night but come and dress as a vampire and be like, it's time to go to sleep. Amazing. Jess, thanks for your call. Some other messages in

from people who are dealing with the same gag every day at their work. I'm a travel agent. It's not a joke I've heard for a while, but no doubt it'll make a comeback. Maybe this year,

maybe next. But it's one of the chances of a free upgrade. Oh, yeah.. Oh yeah. Someone said, I fix watches and I take my dog to work and he'll be sleeping and people will say

he's not a very good watchdog. Kind of like it. Bit of thought. It's thoughtful. It is. Police officer, when people see the handcuffs, Kind of like it Kind of like it Bit of thought It's thoughtful Yeah It is Yeah Police officer

When people see the handcuffs They regularly say Do you take them home And use them at home too I like the cable ties Yeah The police when they've got Those cable ties

And they're already together And like But they just put them over And then they're just Can you get fluffy cable ties I don't think you can. Okay. If you're listening from Mitre 10, if you could just let us know.

You walk into Mitre 10 and say, we're about to get fluffy cable ties. And the gardening section will be like, I'll 23. Just pass the fluffy ropes. You'll be like, hey, thanks, mate. I appreciate that. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Add to Cart. But the first item, to cart this morning, and it's listeners picking our carts all this week.

It's a couple's cart. Did you just eat nuts? Yeah, I know. I knew it was my turn to speak. I just really need an almond. So I put it in my mouth mere seconds before I just say something. I sort of thought maybe you'd pat her for a bit more. Right, okay.

So this card is a couple's card chosen by listeners Chelsea and Lorenzo. Oh, okay. First item. Hard having a name like Lorenzo because everyone's expecting a 10 out of 10 smashing babe. It's a hot name. It is. And I'm just saying, even if Lorenzo's a good looking guy, is he going to measure up to the picture in my head? I know.

Can you imagine him? He's like, a real good tan. Great horse. And he's, like, maybe European or something. Yeah, yeah, Spanish or, you know, Central American. And, like, a whopping head of hair. Oh, thick. Yeah. Thick brown hair, bit of a wave to it, but it'll do whatever he wants.

A slick wave. If he wants it straight, it'll just... And a stallion in the bedroom. Yeah. Oh, my God. Your chest. Honestly. Let's talk about the bedroom. Yeah. Oh, my God. Your chest, chest, chest. Congratulations, Chelsea. Let's talk about Lorenzo's chest.

Oh, my God. It's, like, not too much, but not... It's, like, big, but not... And nipple placement. You can't fault the nipple placement. Central. Oh, here we go with the nipples again. A dark, a dark nipple.

They're not wandering off to the sides. No, no, no. Making a great escape. Maybe the size of a... Mine have slid to the side, haven't they? The size of, like, a 10-cent coin. Maybe a smidge bigger. Maybe a new of a... Mine have slid to the side, haven't they? Maybe the size of like a 10-cent coin. Maybe a smidge bigger. Maybe a new 20.

A new 20. Okay, well, either way, what has Lorenzo... Lorenzo and Chelsea have chosen for the first item. Who has just been wildly sexualised. I do apologise. Well, it's hard not to imagine him in the bed when the first item, memory foam pillows. I'm a big fan.

They're expensive. Renzo wants me to sleep well after our love making. He does. Rest your head down, babe, and let the pillow remember. Tickle my back as I go to sleep. All right, well. Tickle my back. He's like, I wish we'd never ended this stupid competition.

All right, memory foam pillows, the first item. Georgia will give you the next one at 11. You've got to be listening across the day. Two and four for all the items. Get through at five and list all of them. If you can get through, you win them all. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Hi.

About to guess someone's mum's name, but the songs are so bloody short. I know that one barely started and it's finished and I haven't got any questions written down. So you do some introductions and I'm going to write down some questions. Wow. Okay. He's in a funk today. I'm not in a funk. I've just had a bump.

Hayley is on the phone. Good morning, Hayley. Good morning. All right. Well, welcome to But I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughan will have five questions to ask you about your mum and then have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. And if he can do that, $100 cash.

If he does it correctly, which he has done all of this year, that opens up the bonus round where he can guess your dad's name. He did that last week too. I'm already getting some hints, obviously, because you've got the same spelling as me. Is that right? H-A-Y-L-E-Y? No, slightly different. How do you spell it?

That's how it's spelled on our call thing. How's it spelled? H-A-Y-L-E-I-G-H. Oh, okay. Like a Hayley. Like a Harley. Okay. Do you mind if I ask how old you are, Hayley?

Yep, I'm 27. Okay. Sort of a similar. Don't age'm 27. Yeah, sort of similar. Don't age yourself down. Similar, five years older. All right, Vaughan, first question. What are your mum's siblings' names? So she's got Warren and Royden.

Oh! Royden. Is that Royden Christy? No Okay Not the former TV presenter Right Well that Tells me

Her name might be Christy Okay right Because it wouldn't be Christy If her brother was Royden Christy Because then she would have been Christy Christy Yeah Okay

So you're going to put Christy now And then people would have called her Krusty Christy Yeah Okay She doesn't want that Also don't forget Karen That always has to go on the list

Always put a Karen now Karen on the list I'm going to has to go on the list. I'm going to put Karen on the list. I'm going to put a... Royden, Warren and Karen. I'm going to put a Colleen. The Ns, the Ns, Ns. I'm going to put a Colleen on the list. Okay. But Colleen...

Royden's a bit different though, eh? That's not a common name. Yeah. Warren. Royden, I... But Warren's very much of the time. Of the time, yeah. That wasn't a stretch.

No. When this would have been 60s. That wasn't a stretch. No. When this would have been 60s. 60s? Yeah. 60s. I might put a Sue. Chuck a Janet. Got a bit of a...

The way his brain works, a Sue and a Janet feel to him in a similar category. Yeah. When I think of a Sue, I think of... A Barbara. Sort of a Sue-B Janet feel to him in a similar category. Yeah. When I think of a Sue, I think of... A Barbara. Sort of a Sue-Barbara vibe. When I think of Janet,

I think of Janet Jackson. Oh, do you? I always think of an older... Oh, how old is Janet Jackson now? Who knows? Her face is about 20. 20 different ways. She...

Janet Jackson is 55. Yeah. You're in the right era, I reckon. Janet Jackson is 55 yeah you're in the right era I reckon yeah alright next how does mum have her coffee she has flat white from a sachet

oh yeah yeah is it Jarrah or Avalanche or one of those sachet ones? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Parents love, boomers love a sachet coffee, don't they? It's like a coffee with none of the hassle.

And none of the stuff that makes a good coffee. It might be so bold as to proclaim that. They always have sort of like a spoon of caramel in there or something. Oh, yeah, it's usually the vanilla one. Yeah, vanilla. Oh, I don't see a shoeshirt. She goes for flat white and a flavour. Well, Bev's got the, my mum, Bev's got the sachet coffee.

Put down a beer. I've got a Wendy and a Diane too. I think they're cappuccino sachets. Yes. Cappuccino. Does it come with a separate cinnamon sprinkle? Yeah, they don't use that though. They don't use a cinnamon sprinkle.

So the drawer is full of Cinnamon sprinkles Just in case they ever need them Would she use that If she was whipping up Some cinnamon scrolls? Maybe Yeah maybe

Drawful Best of years before I crack up In that Greggs box Yeah Ah okay good Good good good good good Good good good good good Good good good

What's mum's favourite TV show? Um Ooh It would probably be something like The Handmaid's Tale or anything from the old era. She's a dark. Like a Downton. Mum loves the dark. She looks a period dramatist.

Is that what you're trying to say? Like a Downton or a... Call the Midwives? Bit of a Call the Midwife? Yeah. She can do a bit of Call the Midwives. Say like old school. Jeanette.

I've got a Janet. Janet, Jeanette, same thing. Well, it's not the same thing actually. Totally different name. It's got a completely separate set of letters involved in that one. I might go for an Alison. Who's the actress in Handmaid's Tale? What's her name?

Moss. Yeah. Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Yeah, put down Elizabeth. an Alison who's the actress in Handmaid's Tale what's her name Moss yeah Elizabeth Elizabeth yeah put down Elizabeth okay you think she only likes TV shows that might possibly have her name in it

yeah sort of a downturn yeah yeah that's what I'm drawn to I only strictly watch Hayley Joel Osmond films I'm gonna put a Miranda

down because that's the lady that's the lady I'm calling a midwife that had her own show prior to that. Oh, that's right, yeah. With the guy that plays Roy on Ted Lasso. So I'm like, okay.

I mean, I feel like Rebecca, she might be a bit too old to be a Rebecca. Too old to be a Rebecca. Do you think she's too old to be a Rebecca? You're off the list. I don't know why we're in six questions there. What are your siblings' names? So what names has mother given to children? So I've got Samuel and Katie.

Oh, my brother's Samuel. Where's Samuel and Hayley? And Katie, your parents sold her into slavery. They did. Katie. They did. Is it Katie? With a D.

K-A-D-I-E. Yeah. Okay, so that's totally different. That's throwing you, hasn't it? That With a D. K-A-D-I-E. Yeah. Okay, so that's totally different. That's throwing you, hasn't it? That's throwing you. Do you still catch up with your other sister? Katie? Yeah, she's doing well for herself, actually.

Quite damaged by the torture of what happened to her earlier in life. Still in Sudan? Yes, she is. So obviously you haven't been up to a visit with her for a while. Well, what are you laughing for? The mine's not done yet. Of course she's still in Sudan. Yeah.

She's got to get down 30 metres below ground with a candle to get more diamonds. I feel like I'm on a bit of a plant. I know we've been down the plant thing before. I'm thinking plants like daisy. I'm not thinking like a harakeke flax. I'm thinking like a daisy. A heather. Yeah, we put heather in last time as a plant.

And last question. A lot of names on the list. A lot of names on the list. Who's mum's celebrity crush? Does she ever like talk about one celebrity in particular that she thinks is a bit of a hot to trot? Um... Ooh. Does she ever talk about one celebrity in particular that she thinks is a bit of a hot to trot? She's always had a thing for Brad Pitt.

He's a fine wine, isn't he? He is. He owns a vineyard too, doesn't he? Ever since the movie Troy. Troy was what got her hooked. Yeah. Interesting. He was topless in that movie.

No, he was very hot, but I thought most mums were onto him a bit earlier in the piece. Yeah, right. That was when it became a bit more of a, she said it more. She said, really aroused? She said it more. She said it more. I mean, far out. Yeah, it was a good.

He was also. Peak physical fitness, would you say? I thought Snatch. He looked like, you know, the guy Richie filmed Sn year. He was also peak physical fitness, would you say? I thought Snatch. He looked like, you know, the guy Richie filmed Snatch. He was in peak physical fitness. Lest we forget, only a couple of years ago, once upon a time in Hollywood, when he takes off his shirt, I was in a cinema and everyone gasped.

Yeah, I'd gasp. I'd gasp too. Okay, what about Gwyneth? You want me to put his exes down? Put his exes down. Yeah, I haven't put Angela in. Rachel from Friends. No his exes down. Yeah, I haven't put Angela. Rachel. Rachel from Friends.

No, it's Jennifer. Oh, yeah. It wasn't Rachel. It was Jennifer. I better put that one on the end. Jen. Put Phoebe down just in case. I reckon Phoebe.

I might put a moniker on there as well. Yeah, they might have fooled around. Yeah, Janice. Oh, you got Janice? Yeah, Janice. Oh, no, not Janet. Put Gunther too just in case. Yeah, Gunther could be a goer.

Okay, Gunther's a lucky last. If we get to Gunther, I'm out. Put Gunther too, just in case. Yeah, Gunther could be a go at it. Okay, Gunther's lucky last. If we get to Gunther, I'm out. All right, Hayley, Vaughan now has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. Hold on, hold on. Are you all right there? Yeah. We're hearing a siren. What's happening? There's just a fire truck going past.

Oh, do you want to check your kitchen? Well, we've got to wait for the truck to go past. You won't hear the names. We can wait. There's a fire service out there doing the good work. Oh, doing great work, the fire people, don't they? Yeah. It's got a good start to the day for 8.20.

You've already called the fire service. And then they get there and it's just toast. Yeah. All right, okay, Hayley, you now have 15 seconds. Vaughan, to guess Hayley's mum's name. Hayley, if you hear your mum's name, say stop. That's my toast. Yeah. All right. Okay, Hayley, you now have 15 seconds. Vaughan, to guess Hayley's mum's name. Hayley, if you hear your mum's name, say stop. That's my mum's name. Your time starts now.

Christy, Karen, Colleen, Sue, Janet, Barbara, Joanne, Wendy, Diane, Bev, Jeanette, Alison, Elizabeth, Maggie, Miranda, Rebecca, Daisy, Heather, Ange, Rachel, Gwyneth, Jennifer, Phoebe, Monica, Janice, Gunther. Oh! Not today. Not today. Our first loss.

Did we get Gunther in there? In 2020. Did that make the 15 second cut off? Hayley, what's your mum's name? My mum's name is Petrina. I mean, Petrina. Petrina. Do you know what I had written down for your dad's name? Petrina. I mean, Petrina. Petrina. Do you know what I had written down for your dad's name?

What? Peter. It is mad that you are Hayley. That's close to Petrina. Peter. You're Hayley with a brother called Samuel and a mum called Petrina. My mum's called Patsy. We're very close.

I should have just focused primarily. I didn't even have Patsy on the list. Stupid. Well, I called up because I've never heard, out of all your lists, I've never heard her name come up before. No. Oh, good. You need to branch out a bit more.

Look who's happy about this, Executive Intune, aren't you? She saved herself $100. She saved $100 of the show budget, and you love getting one over on Smithy, don't you? I do. He gets big for his boots, Hayley. So, unfortunately, you don't win the cash. I don't get big for my boots.

Everybody hypes it up when I get it. I'm pretty calm and all. You're a loser today. Big loser. Born, not you, Hayley. Well, she's a loser too because she doesn't get anything. So, technically, we're both losers, Hayley. That's okay.

Okay. Well, I'm glad you're right. It's all for the fun. You called it for fun and you're leaving having been called a loser. Yeah, and your neighbour's house is on fire. All right, 8.22. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day, some people when they are full Like they've eaten, they're full, they're fill and they are full It's the best feeling in the world at the moment Like a buffet I'll never be a thin lad I love eating to when I'm like, good stuff. Pop a button. Yeah.

Let's relax. Until you're having trouble breathing. Yeah. Yeah. One more minute. Some people, when they get full, sneeze. Really? Sneeze.

Is that the fact of the day today? Yes. Snaciation. Snaciation. Snaciation. It's a portmanteau, which is a blending of two words, between sneeze and satiation, which is like... The feeling of fullness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm satisfied. Yeah. I'm satiated. I know. I guess they're very similar words. They've probably got a similar origin. Satiation.

Snatiation. Snatiation. The thing that makes me sneeze is when I'm in the sun, the direct sun. The light? And it's just like. That's an interesting one. I feel like we have talked about that before. Yeah.

But that's got to be for a reason. Tell you what's getting me going. We're here at work because we've got to come in to the building. Yeah. And that's got to be for a reason. Tell you what's getting me going here at work because we've got to come in to the building and this is a lot of workplaces and it's going to be everybody who gets a test

in Auckland for Omicron COVID-19 or Delta or whatever particular brand you've got. God, I just up my heart for the days of some just original COVID,

you know? Yeah, is anyone getting OG COVID these days or is that one fizzled out? Is anyone getting Alpha? No. We did a rat. We've been doing rat tests.

Ooh, I can get that so far up my nose. It's become, I've got one very cavernous schnoz. Yeah, I've got one side of my nose goes right up and the other one's a real short one. I've got two short snozzies. Because you sent a photo of it in your nose and there was only like a toothpick size left of a very long stem. Oh, they're like six inch swabs.

I just keep ramming until I can smell colours, you know. I get it up there and I'm like, well, I had this. And the other day I did it in Bournemouth, I just started speaking German. It was, you're really going to tickle your brain every now and then. But it makes you sneeze. Yeah, and then when it's in there and you're twisting and you're like, oh God, here they come, here they come, here they come.

You're like, twist, come on, come on, come on. And then you get out and you're like, achoo, and a real hearty, deep achoo, achoo. Big, deep sneezes. But that's not from being full. Thankfully, I don't have this because every time I eat, I aim to be full at the end. Do you know why being satiated causes some people to sneeze? No, they haven't identified the cause of it, but it is passed along genetically.

It's a genetic trait. Could it be a bit of white pepper on whatever you are eating? Yeah, I was trying to think. You know when you get that feeling Where your stomach is so full It pushes your lungs all up And you're like That's the good stuff That's where it hits

Is it something about that Like sort of Squeezing something up I don't know Ever ate so much You get a sore neck No I've only done it twice

You get that too much Once was at a wedding And I vom I had to vomit I had to I ate too much I had to vomit Not at the wedding

I went home Oh right I vomited at home I rolled to. I ate too much. I had to vomit. Not at the wedding. I went home. Oh, right. I vomited at home. I rolled around on the floor at my parents' house, and mum said to Sade, how much has he had to drink? Sade's like, it's not the drink. No, it's not.

He's eating too much. And then it just happened. But the other time, I ate so many ribs. It was an all-you-can-eat ribs. And I went, and I'm like, I'm getting my money's worth here. I ate so much, like, during, when I started getting full, my neck was like, ugh. Well, it's because you were craning down to numb the place.

But no sneezes. Ripping ribs, no sneezes. So today's fact of the day is there is a stomach sneeze reflex that when you're full, you will have uncontrollable sneezing, and it is called snagiation. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Somebody said, my grandmother sneezes when she's full. My mother doesn't, but my sister and myself also do it.

People think we're weird. I'm so glad. It's a thing. Oh, glad. It's a thing. Oh, wow. It's a thing. And you got it from your grandmother. And someone said,

my partner sneezes when he thinks of doing the deed. What? I would be a mess. People would, I'd have to have a Claritine.

Wait, so you'd be sitting at home and you'd feel a little bit like, I want a bit of... Get anywhere. I think about it all the time. It's like a... no, not appropriate.

We'll talk about that later. At the moment, Aaron just finished a job and I finished work early in the morning. So we're spending a lot of time at home together during the day, unwinding, relaxing, having a great time. And I have been, like usually when he was working, I would come home and I'd have my private time to watch the shows that I'm embarrassed to watch in front of him.

With the curtains drawn. Curtains drawn. In the bedroom. On my own. Sure. My shows. No, my actual TV shows that I watch. And now that he's home, I sort of don't have that private time.

So I was like, you know what? We've been together for 11 years. I'm going to stop hiding this from him. I'm going to stop putting my headphones on because I don't enjoy them. So I've been watching Married at First Sight out loud, either on the TV or on my laptop. And, like, that is the epitome of what Aaron hates about. Honestly, about the modern world,

about Australians, about reality TV. He just hates it. But I, who's ringing me? I'm working. I can't say. But I just love it. There's something I'm just fascinated by. I know it's trash.

I know it's bad. I know it's bad. I know it's all just so awful, but it feeds me. I love it. It blows my mind after this many seasons of Married at First Sight that those experts will still put their name to this trash. Oh, I know. We've talked to John. The guy, the main expert, yeah.

And he's like a qualified clinical psychologist, isn't he? I know, but they're also making TV. I know they're making good money off it and stuff. Also this season in Australia, one of them was an actress, right? Like a paid actress. Oh, every season there's at least an actor or two. But anyway, Aaron, I was like, Aaron's in the lounge. I'll just go to the bedroom and I'll just watch it on my laptop.

And he was like, well, I'm going to come in the bedroom and hang out with you. And I was like, and I had to say, I'm watching my show. I'm just going to watch this show. And I was like, you can just put your headphones on or keep your opinions to yourself. But he can't. So he'll watch and he'll get like, hear it and be like, oh my God. Oh my God, Hayley. Hayley.

That's such trash. Oh, he's like, how are you? Oh my God. And to the point where he trash. He's like, how are you? Oh my God. And to the point where he just, he's not judging the show anymore. He's judging me as a person. And he even said, he was like, what kind of person watches this trash? I was like, your fiance. I love it.

Anyway, and I get annoyed because I'm like, I'm just trying to have some downtime here. Brain off. Mush. It's absolutely ruining it for me. And so we lay divided. And I'll say the mood is somewhat tense because I'm not going to start watching my trash and I'm not going to put it on hold and watch it in dirty private,

like a dirty little secret. Yeah. But he can't keep his hoity-toity opinions to himself. I'm kind of on his side opinion-wise. But I know it's trash. Yeah, but I would just let you watch it. Thank you. And maybe I'd wear headphones or go out.

Yeah, and he watches some weird medieval. Yes, okay, what one? Tell me, I'll watch it too. Oh my God, honestly. Does he watch a lot of repair shop stuff? We should do some sort of partner swap watch because Sade likes that sort of

brain trash as well. I know, we could. I feel like Aaron and I could watch Forged by Fire where every week a series of people do blacksmith tasks and make swords. Maybe, we don't know what the. I come to work with that. Maybe, we don't know what the challenge is going to be this week.

I go home to it. But I wanted to ask you because, I mean, Married at First Sight, it's a classic example. It's very polarizing. Yeah. But I wanted to ask you, lovely listeners, what is the TV show that has divided your relationship? And it could be, you know,

like maybe you started watching the show together and then you've diverted and someone went ahead of something and then you fight about that. Or what's the show that you just think, oh my God, that is so lame and therefore you are also lame for watching that. Maybe you have to watch a show in shame in private.

Yeah, on your phone, on the toilet. Actively, Sade stopped watching the Kardashians a while ago, but there was a time where she very much enjoyed it. But it did become like, I'll just try to ruin this. Yes. Who's that one? That's what I'd sit there about. Who's that one?

Why are they with that? Which one was the basketball player with? Which one got cheated on by that guy? Yeah. Is that the mum? But also, wouldn't you just see that as a chance for you to go to the room and watch a show on the iPad or on the TV? Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. Like it's win-win. He should just get his own show. He has so many of his own shows, but he can't keep it in. He can't keep it in. I think it is. You are disappointed that someone that you love can love something so terrible.

So bad. You're like. And is this reflective upon me? Is her taste so poor that I'm not the man I've been led to believe I am? Yes. Well, we want to know what TV show or shows divide your relationship because

you're having to battle your fiancé, Hayley. I'm battling his oh my god sounds as I watch Married at First Sight at the moment. It's a good season. It's a good season. But, yeah, you're not the only one in this situation. I'm not.

Maddie, what TV show is dividing your relationship? Anything to do with, like, structural engineering problems. And wilder people. So is this you Like these shows Or your partner Oh My partner's obsessed with them Anytime he gets there

On my own We're chilling on the weekend That's what goes on I love it I love the civil engineering stuff Don't you see like a big bridge Or they're building a dam And you're just like

How did they even think about it I know He's obsessed with it And I can't stand it So And you do The wilder people You're talking about

The people that live in Alaska and they're off-grid. Yeah, all the people who are living and building their own wooden huts with the big lot.

I love that. Yeah, it's like we learned about that in history at high school. We don't need to watch it on our weekends off. So what would you

rather be watching though, Maddie? Well, we do actually, we can actually enjoy a bit of guilty TV viewing like Love is Blind. We've been watching that together.

Oh, ridiculous show. It's quite good. So there are some of that in there, which is good. Okay, so he's really, I feel like he's really making a concession there. He is. Or does he actually enjoy it? No, he actually enjoys it because he offers commentary on what he thinks the couples are doing.

Yeah, the commentary is the problem, though. Oh, no, I enjoy it. I like to have a little discussion about what's going on the TV. Oh, okay. All right. Brilliant. All right, Maddie, thanks. You're cool.

Olivia, what's the relation to the TV show dividing your relationship? Hi. So my boyfriend absolutely despises Grey's Anatomy. I'm actually on the third time

watching it. Third time around. It's not. It's back to the around? Olivia, what about other medical shows? There's like a hundred of them. Who does Sean Strum? I know, but it's just not as good. I mean, it's a

great show. It's been going that long for a reason. Why does he explain what he doesn't like about it? Not really. I understand the medical side and things don't add up and like I get that it's reality TV kind of thing. Yeah. But yeah he just doesn't like that the facts don't add up but he's similar. He really likes anime and I just cannot stand it and we've

both admitted to each other that when we kind of just want the other one to leave us alone we just put our TV show on and it's like okay thank you., thank you. Yeah, it's a bit of me time. I love it. Olivia, thanks. It's a good agreement they've got going there. Yeah, keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. The TV shows that are dividing your relationship.

We're talking about the TV shows that are dividing your relationship. Man, there are so many. I don't know how any of these relationships are surviving. So much trash. People watch hours of trash. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to play into heterosexual gender stereotypes, but we're getting a lot of the women loving the trashy sort of Bravo reality TV and the men loving sort of weird industrial how to make stuff with your hands energy.

Plane crash investigation, air crash investigation. What about like ice road truckers? Watching men drive a truck over some ice? The ice might break. Yeah about like ice road truckers? Watching men drive a truck over some ice? The ice might break. Yeah, do you know Ross Boss did a narration of that?

He did the New Zealand. He did the New Zealand. He's like, they're driving, he's on his six hour straight, he's going to stop for a V.

That was a good Ross. They stop for a V. And then they stop for a V and a pie and then they get back in their truck. And we've just rejoined Steve after he stopped at a state highway one rest area to play with himself. He's good to go.

Some text messages in. It's not a TV show. And this is the other thing. You like YouTube channels and online. My husband will watch a YouTube channel of people playing golf. It seems that there's a three-hour long new video every day of golf. Just go out and play golf. If you can sit down for three hours and watch golf,

you might as well go out for three hours and play golf. Weather pending. Weather pending. Weather pending. Finance is pending. Not a cheap sport, is it? Yeah. A set of clubs?

Someone said, my wife watches all your medical shows. I love sitting beside her googling where they've gone wrong. See, it's the hole picking for me. Yeah. Oh, that wouldn't happen like that. Well, that's unrealistic. There's also never that much

sex in hospitals, I feel. They're all falling in love with each other. No, not at the moment. Well, not at the moment. It was COVID. There was that one case

of sex in a hospital during this COVID outbreak. Remember it made international news. That's right. Jacinda commented on it. Wasn't it a nurse and a patient? No, I think it was two patients.

Matt's joined us. Good morning, Matt. What's the TV show that's dividing your relationship? It's these love shows, man. They are literally destroying men's will to live. What's the worst one in your opinion?

It's this lover's blind thing at the moment while I was watching where, you know, people fall in love through a pod where they haven't even seen each other after two weeks. But Matt, they're getting to know each other inside before the outside. Yeah, but that's a joke. Like, men's absolute caveman instinct is,

oh, she looks hot. Like, you're not just... You're not going to fall in love without seeing them, and it's just an absolute joke, and then it just gives women excuses to act like that, even though it's just on TV. As if. You're wound up, man.

I can hear you. You're wound up. I need some me time. You do, you do. Do they get to see each other at the end? They do get to see each other at the end, yeah, yeah. Mainly if they commit. Right. And then when they see each other, they get married. each other at the end? They do get to see each other at the end, yeah. Mainly if they commit. Right.

And then when they see each other, they get married. What? Straight away. But what if you see them and like Matt said, it's like not for you and you're like, ooh. Too late. Too late. Yeah.

They only pick hot people, by the way. So you're all good. You're all good. A, I'm all good, but B, I'm not getting on the show. Yeah. Yeah, you and me both, mate. Yeah. We're going to live

with what we're given. Matt, thanks for your call. Michelle, what's the TV show that's dividing your relationship? Well, not only is it Married at First Sight, but Vanderpump Rules, Real Carat and Life of Melbourne,

any Real Housewives shows. Yeah, you just, you love the trashy, catty reality TV. Crap that I don't have to. I can switch the brain off and I don't have to think about it. I just can watch in peace and quiet without judgment. And so if he's around, are you allowed to watch

or he'll just let you have it? Oh, yes, but he'll come in after watching his serial killer shows and he'll just sit there and go, How the hell can you watch this crap? come in after watching his serial killer shows. Yes. Great TV. Great TV. How the hell can you watch this crap? What the hell? Yeah. Yes.

I'm just stepping back here and I'm just saying, all this unnecessary division now. Yeah. I want to mend bridges. I want to say we can all watch this at a separate time, separately. We can still love each other. Well, hence why we built a house with a movie room. Boom.

But who gets the movie room? What? No, what you've done is you've made one place to watch it, a better place to watch it. It's got to be... A superior watching experience. Exactly. It's got to be equal footing.

You can't watch any real housewives in a movie room. No, no, no. You'll be able to see their seams ripping. He goes to the movie room and You'll be able to see their seams ripping. He goes to the movie room and watches barbecue shows and his serial killer shows and his whatever. You know, and I

get to watch my crap. Enjoy your crap, babe. In the living room. In the living room, nice. No judgement. Michelle, thanks for your call. Some other messages. My mum's recently got a new partner, 60-year-old guy, tough as nuts, likes riding motorbikes, cars, tattoos, et cetera. Asked him what his favourite TV show was.

He told me 90 Day Fiancé. My mum just stayed quiet, but my opinion of it has plummeted. I imagine that's going to cause some problem because my mum doesn't like that sort of stuff. Wow. I couldn't imagine my mum watching any reality shows like that. No, no. Someone said, oh my God, Gold Rush. Sade and I, this was a show we watched together.

This is in Alaska and they go for gold. Oh, yeah. I liked it because there's like diggers and trucks and all this like insanely big machinery. But you know the old, will there be enough gold to cover the costs every single time? Oh, yeah. But somebody said, I hate it.

I just hate it so much. It's like, there's gold there, but who cares? Well, maybe these TV companies are missing a trick and they need to combine like a Gold Rush show with A Love Is Blind. Oh, yes. Where the miners don't see each other because they're mining in their pods. In the dark. And then at the end, they find out how much gold they've got and they get married to the person in the other. And they pull together their gold.

Yeah. And the amount of gold they have is that's their honeymoon fund. Yes. Or the Real Housewives of Gold Rush, Alaska. Yes. Oh. So the wives of the men in the mines. No, it's open cast.

Yeah, so it's just like that. Right. Just digging and stuff. And they're doing that and their wives are, I don't know, fighting. Fighting and throwing. Is that what happens on Real Housewives? Yeah, they throw wine in each other's their wives are, I don't know, fighting. Fighting and throwing. Is that what happens on Real Housewives? Yeah, they throw wine in each other's faces. Yeah, they fight a lot, right?

Yeah, and then when the show's finished, they think quite highly of themselves and join the Wellington protest. Sure.