ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 24th February 2023

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try it through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. I have been peer-pressured into breaking my healthy eating routine this week. Oh my God, it was like trying to break the thinnest shot of ice, getting you to come and have delicious fried buttery potatoes and salmon with us.

Latkes, salmon latkes. Latkes. Latkes. I don't have latkes. I have hash. You have hash. Pastrami hash. Pastrami hash.

I did say no like five times. Yeah, but we've been here for five hours. You broke me. You broke hours. You broke me. You broke me. You broke me. Here's a new story I thought we could talk about before we get into the pod. We didn't have time. I thought you were going to say before we get into the latkeys.

Before we get into the latkeys and the pod. A story we didn't have time to talk about today. Mercedes car people. Heard of them. They have announced that starting with the new Mercedes-Benz E-Class coming to the market this year in 2023 in our spring, they will be including a TikTok app. No. No.

Look, they've got a photo. And on the dash, we normally have, you know, your FM radio to listen to us or the iHeartRadio app. Yes. It's TikTok. You're literally driving along and you can watch TikTok. Isn't that the most craziest shit you've ever heard? That shit, that's, no, you're going to kill someone.

That's dumb. Yeah, because you've got to be paying attention, right? It's not like a song or a podcast. Speaking of those little screens, you know, I've got Apple CarPlay, must be nice, I'm living a good life, doing all right. Well, you're in the stinky dink. I'm in the stinky dink. But it's got a screen on it where I can see all my iHeart radios and my...

iHeart radio. My iHeart radios and my maps. I smashed it last night. Your car screen. Yeah, the screen. How did you do that? Chucked in my handbag. Water bottle came out.

This is a big metal water bottle. The Taylor Sport. Smashed my screen. You're going to hear on the podcast that I didn't have a great day yesterday. I forgot that that was also how it ended as the motorway was closed. I chucked in my bang and broke my screen. So I won't be able to see the TikTok because the screen's shattered and I can't touch the screen.

What do you do about that? I don't know. Go to the auto shop? Car stereo shop. That's not cheap because our friend James he looked at getting the screen put in so that he could have car play into his car and I think it's like $600 to $900. I'm going to give you a fuck off You should go to Fusion Car Stereo

and get a little blow up alien when you do No, I don't want one You can have a little blow up green alien Would this be an insurance thing? Yeah, 100% But then would you lose your no claims? I don't give a shit It's not a thing.

I don't get a bonus. You've got insurance for a reason. Yeah. You claim these things. When you are like, oh, man, they say, oh, if you do this, it will cost you your no claims. Fuck that. You've got insurance for a reason.

Are you saying that insurance companies don't actually want to help us? I don't know. What? I think profits before people. I think profits before people. I think profits before people. That's not. That damn well not.

It's profits before people. I'll say it. I'll go on record. Not many in the media are brave enough to say it. Well, give me my bravery medal because I'll say it. I'm going to give you the profits before people. We'll give that a nudge next week. Yeah, I will. It's not me my bravery medal. Because I'll say it. You'll say it. I'm going to give you the Purple Heart. We'll give that a nudge next week. Yeah, I will.

It's not an issue for today. But how embarrassing. I'm going to the airport. I'm going to the airport. And you know I love to park valet. Oh, yes. So I'm going to pull in. You're going to get into the stinky dink.

There's like two big crumpled bags of McDonald's under the seats. They can just deal with that. Show sponsor. Show sponsor. Yeah. And a big smash screen. Show Spon. Yeah. And a big smash screen. It reeks in there. I'm a bit of a mess this week. Sorry, podcast listeners.

Next week, though, fresh outlook on life. Yeah. And I'm going to eat a vegetable. Yeah, I haven't eaten many of them lately. You can play ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Can you just tone down your, like, cheery disposition? She's having a bad day. Has not got off to a great start. I reckon, like, it's a rough 24 hours. Yeah. Do you want to hit the gratitude journal? Yes. What are you grateful for? Air New Zealand cancelling your flight.

Nope. Nope. Not grateful for that. Okay. Not grateful for the wait time on the phone. I saw someone was on the phone over there for two hours, 46 minutes the other day just to be told no. What? Oh, no.

It was Paige Harab, surfer. Oh, okay. She put it up on her Instagram story. It was like she was trying to get a flight, you know, you know these surfers. Oh, yeah, they're always, and they always want to get that bloody large surfboard. Oh, yeah. Oversized luggage. Yeah.

They want those things. Take your fins off. You don't want your fins broken in transport. She said, yeah, two hours 46 to be told, computer says no. Wow. I didn't wait that long. I think you were like 20 minutes,

weren't you? Yeah. Jeepers. But, you know, five o'clock in the morning. Oh yeah, it hits different.

What am I grateful for? I'm having a tough time thinking about it. I'm grateful, for the second day, I'm grateful for the water in my water bottle. Wow. You can't go back to the water in my water bottle. Wow.

You can't go back to back water in the water bottle. I mean, water is, you know, it sustains life. And it does. Without it, we'd be toast, wouldn't we? Grateful for my comfortable bra today. That's good. There you go. That's good.

I'm grateful I saw somebody who's not allowed in their house for a motorway because, you know, of Gabriel. Yeah. And that made me thankful that I've got a nice, safe, warm house

for me and my family. Oh my God. So now mine looks like shit because I said I'm grateful for my soft

No, it's not. No, there's no one. There's no one. I'm grateful

that I'm alive. I'm grateful that my parents met. I'm grateful that I'm so brimming with privilege.

Fletch, your gratitude, please. Bring it home. Bring it home. Because this has not had the outcome that I was hoping for. I'm grateful for

Makona caramel coffee. That's cool. Which, by the way, I'm out of. Well, why are you grateful for it? You don't have any. Well, nothing

makes you grateful. No, it's Borden's. Ow. Presumptuous of you. Well, nothing makes you grateful. No, it is wardens. Presumptuous of you. Well, nothing makes you grateful for something like its absence from your life. Alright, on the show today, another chance

for you to play and win with our grocery grab thanks to the warehouse. We'll do that at 8 o'clock. So we'll have 20 everyday grocery items. They'll go past on the conveyor belt. You've got to recall as many as you can. $20 credit for each one you can recall. Our cash combo returns today $1,000.

You've just got to be listening for the three artists. We'll give you the cash combo after the news at 7 o'clock this morning. The top six is on the way. And chat GTP and AI technology, it's all in the news at the moment. It's rolling out to Spotify who are going to prefer,

not my preferred music services. No, I mean, I don't even have the app. iHeart Radio is my preferred app. Number one. It's a podcast. You can listen to our show. Live or later. Anywhere.

It's amazing. Yeah. But for the plebs. Oh, for the plebs. For the plebs who use Spotify, they're going to have an AI DJ. So I've got the top six problems I can see with an AI DJ. Wow, that's going to know everything, eh?

Yeah. Is it going to know what mood you're in though? I reckon I'll work it out pretty quick. Okay. Yeah. From the roughness at which you handle your phone, it's like, okay. Coming up, you've found a story that's controversial online. And you know, I read things online

and I take it as truth. Right. But Vaughan, you don't believe in this story. You don't think that this story is true. I need more evidence. It's on the internet. What more evidence do you need? Someone has said it. Well. It's a wild story.

You've got some research next, though, that's quite interesting. Maybe this could be news to both of you guys. Okay. Less affecting to me, but I've got something, a little bit of news if you like to drink some fizzy cola. All right, what's next? Miley Flowers on on Zedem. Zedem's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

You guys have balls? I do, I have two balls. You've got two balls in one little beautiful pouch? Wow, beautiful. Drop that down. I don't. I was open to talk about my balls, but I don't need them. The HR Journal is open early today. Yeah, 6.09. Well, ball

owners, listen up. A new study's revealed that drinking Coca-Cola and Pepsi and fizzy cola drinks can lead to larger testes. Now, obviously they did this study on mice first

before they looked at the balls of men. That's not... I love that they... That's not an equivalent to a male human, a mouse. They always study mice, and you're like, how much do we have in common with them? The impact on mice. You're like, yeah, that's a mouse.

Are we more like pigs? We're more like monkeys, but we can't do monkey studies. Yeah, no, you don't know monkeys. Yeah. And then when you're finished with the pigs, we can eat them. Porky. I thought that we were quite similar to pigs. Yeah, whereas mice, I've never seen...

We're slushy. Slushy. Like a pig. Fleshy. Because we taste a bit porky, don't we? I think we... If you were to eat a human, it would have a porky. Like rashes.

Oh, my God. Imagine like a pulled pork. You know a porky. Like rashes. Oh, my God. Imagine like a pulled pork. You know, pulled Paul. Yeah. Pulled Hayley. Yeah, pulled Hayley tacos. So we did talk, was it on the podcast? We talked about how we'd cook celebrities.

How would you eat a celebrity? Well, we might be doing that as a new segment, I reckon. Yeah, how would you eat a celebrity? How would you cook the celebrity? We get a chef on and we talk about how a celebrity would be best. Yeah, let's get Chef Peter Gordon on. I think our first celebrity was Timothee Chalamet. Timothee Chalamet.

And we decided he wasn't much meat. No. Yeah, so he was a sort of a lighter meat. A flash fry. Yeah. As opposed to we talked about like a Seth Rogen, he's a slow cook. Yes. Not because he's bigger or chubbier.

Oh, we like that. That's what we want. Oh yeah, we're hungry. Anyway, so they... I don't know if that segment how you would eat a celebrity is coming back. How would you cook a celebrity?

Okay. Next week, Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh no! Broth, broth. You'd probably have to broth her. You'd probably have to broth her. You'd have to broth her, but like the start of the bone. You'd steam her. No.

Steam her. There'd be nothing left. You'll have to tune into the podcast special for that. Catherine Zeta-Jones. Stir fry. Nah. Catherine Zeta-Jones. Stir Fry. Nah. Catherine Zeta-Jones. Wednesday?

Who was in Wednesday? Like Catherine Zeta-Jones now or Catherine Zeta-Jones in the 90s when she did the sexy dance through the laser force field? Now. Save it for the podcast. Save it for the podcast. Are they going to marinate? Yeah.

Oh, you have to marinate. I was leaning towards marinate. going to marinate? Yeah. Oh, you have to marinate. I was leaning heavily towards marinate. Like a ginger soy? Yeah. So the study looked at three groups of mice, one that drank water, one that drank Coke, one that drank Pepsi over 15 days. Yeah.

They weighed their testicles every day and drew blood. What, like a mini testicle scale? Yeah, I don't know. How do you just isolate the testicles onto a scale? I reckon the testicles would be one part of the body you could because of the scrotum. Yeah, because you can weigh your breasts. Yeah.

Yeah. How much does a breast weigh? I don't know. It depends on the size of the breast. It'll blow your mind how much a breast weighs. How much do breasts weigh? Is it like when I fall asleep on my arm and it's dead weight and you're like, it's so heavy. Or when you hold someone's dead weight and you're like it's so heavy.

Or when you like hold someone's head up, you're like oh my god, what the hell? How much does a... On average, D cups can weigh, so this is in pounds, three pounds to 6.7 pounds. Holy! Three pounds

is 1.3 kgs. So if you had a six-pound breasticle, that is, yeah, that's like 3 kgs. Yeah. Per tip? Well, what did you say? Per tipta? Per catita?

Per titita is, yeah, that would be, what, 12 kgs. Imagine carrying a carton of milk or six cans of soup on the chest every day. That's how much D-cups weigh for an average person. Wow. Oh, my God. Got the weight of the world on our shoulders, us women, us breasticle owners. Anyway, so basically drinking fizzy cola makes your balls bigger. No, it makes mice, it made mouse balls bigger.

It helps you to weigh your breasts. I'm imagining you could do this with your testicles. No, it makes mice, it made mouse balls bigger. Because it increases... Here's how to weigh your breasts. I'm imagining you could do this with your testicles. Okay, right. But you're not going to get the whole breast because a lot of it's

attached to your back. Sorry that you're staring at me cupping my own breast. What a displacement method is a bit awkward. Perhaps the most accurate way to weigh your breasts. Right.

Let's start out with what you'll need. One, a kitchen scale. Two, a tray with a sizable lip. I didn't mean that to sound as sexy. Sizeable lip. A large bowl that has to be big enough to fit one of your breasts.

A pad and a pen. Like a Pyrex. I've got a great Pyrex that would be perfect for a breast. You've got to be Pyrex for a booty. I've got two Pyrexes. One for each titty. We know they're different sizes. So I've got a large one.

You're so on most breasts. Yeah, okay. So on different sizes. So I've got a large one. You will sew on most breasts. Yeah, okay. Sew on most breasts. I've got, I'm ready. Measure the weight of the tray. Step one, measure the weight of the tray. Step two, now put the bowl on the tray and fill the bowl with water completely to the rim.

All right. Now place your breast in the bowl of water and make sure it's fully submerged. Your boob will push out the water onto the tray. Then take just the tray with the water that your breast's pushed onto it and weigh that.

Subtract the weight of the tray with the water from the weight of the tray that was just empty. It's water displacement. So it's, now take the weight that you just figured

and multiply it by 0.9 because breast tissue has a different weight by volume than water. And then repeat for the other breast. See, why weren't we doing these science experiments

at school? What, weighing the girls' breasts? I think I just answered your question. That's problematic. At high school. Alright, ladies, whip your bras off. It's time for science. It was always the science teacher leaning against the desk. Yeah, yeah. Because of those high science tables. Yeah.

What are you learning about? What are you learning? What are you learning about? What are you learning? Anyway, it's because of the caffeine in Coca-Cola. Right, okay. The caffeine increases your testosterone. But I drink coffee and soda all the time. And your balls are huge.

I don't know if it's huge. I, like, can't. Every time I see them, I'm like, far out. Oh my gosh. Well, let's leave that story to science. I don't think we could go from that story to anything weirder, but we are. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Guys. This, by the way, story is utter shit. No, it's not.

You don't know that. It's a lie. Why would it be on the internet? It is bull crap. Why would it be on the internet? It is a made-up story for one of these British tabloid things. There's zero proof it happened and everyone's losing their mind about it. No, it's on the Daily Mail.

It's on the Daily Mail and it was on a podcast. Wow, of course. And it's on a podcast. Absolutely. And it's on a podcast. Of course, that's real. And it's on a podcast. Absolutely. And it's on a podcast. What podcast? Now, this woman who told the story, who told the person on the podcast

who told the Daily Mail that I read, she is a makeup artist. There's done... She was told by two separate makeup artists about this story. It's an urban legend. There's two sources. It's not true. about a makeup artist. The sources, there's two sources. It's not true.

Unconnected sources. This isn't true. We'll call her Jenny. To be honest, that story did get a little less believable when you say someone heard it

from someone. Stay on board. I almost think we should do a segment of the show where we're like, this absolutely did not happen.

The urban legend. And we can start with those mums that tell you some elaborate story about how their three-year-old did something like...

Oh, yeah, painted a beautiful photographic portrait. And then said, mum, I was just reflecting the beauty that I see in the world. Oh, my God. Do you know what my son just said to me? What was that famous one that was like, my seven-year-old said something about books are forever. Yeah. And everyone's like, no, they didn-old said something about books are forever. Yeah. And everyone's like, no, they didn't.

Get a grip. They absolutely didn't. Get a grip. Okay, so. They said something like, mum, I'm going to fart on you. Yeah, farts and boobies. So the bride at this wedding, right, she was at a wedding. The bride needed to go to the toilet just before the ceremony.

Like, got to get this out before I walked down the aisle. When she walked into the toilet, what she saw shook her world. And this is fact. What she saw was her husband-to-be breastfeeding, being breastfed by his mother. No, she didn't. Yes. He was being breastfed by his mummy.

And she was like, what? Called the wedding off. Not true. He was on the end of his mum's teat. He wasn't. And the bride saw this. It never happened. And then everyone was like, how come this old lady still produces milk?

Well, just one of the very issues with this story. Oh, yeah. this story. Apparently. Oh, yeah. Not apparently. Oh. What is truth is. Factually. Factually.

Okay. He's been being breastfed by his mum his entire life. Oh, of course he has. He's been supping from the teat since day one. He's never been away from his mother. End story. Now you give me proof. Proof.

No, no, no. The burden of proof is on you to prove that this happened. I've got the evidence. I'm reading the article right here. This is such a bullshit story.

It's such a lie. You're a bullshit story. Vaughn was against talking about this on the show today. But you know what? That's why you've been sucked into the lie. That That's why you pushed me into 6.22am. I'm bringing this back at 8.

You want prime time for this story. What have we got? Nah, I'm going to do some shuffling in the shake. What else was said on the podcast? Did she end the marriage? It didn't go ahead? I don't know. I'm only reading the short version of the article.

I have not cross-referenced the podcast version of the story. It's a podcast. But boy, oh boy, I know what I'll be listening to. I love a lie. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. I tell a lot of them. Who's lying?

But everybody. But you've got to know the boundaries of a good story. Yeah. It can't go that far. And also, secondhand, secondhand, if it had been that makeup artist that saw it, I would be inclined to believe it. No, the makeup artist told someone

who told the podcast person, who told the Daily Mail, and now I'm telling you. How good is it when someone's telling you a story and you're like, wait, did you see this happen? They're like, no, no, no, no, but but, but, the person that told me definitely knows the person that saw it happen. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who told you this?

Why didn't... I like heard it from... Yeah, but they just don't lie. No, they don't lie, but they just heard a story and couldn't decipher that it was absolutely not true. I'm going to tell this story at every social event. Be like, oh my God, you're going to believe this.

There's this bride, right? Who's like connected to a friend of mine. I'm sure we could find a friend. Well, that's why people who are on podcasts, people who listen to them often feel like they are their friends. Yeah, exactly. This podcast will be livid that this lie they've told us. Like we haven't said the name of the podcast.

I want. Yeah. We haven't said the name of the podcast because that's what they want. They want people to go and find the podcast and listen to the story being told. I tell you what, there'll be no lies on our new podcast, How Would You Eat a Celebrity. No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely no lies.

It's hypothetical, but never, never a factual. Not a word of a lie. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. I hadn't finished because we were talking about our fun new podcast, How Would You Cook That Celebrity, with special guests every week that are chefs.

Nigella, welcome. Welcome, Nigella. Now, today we're looking at Christina Aguilera. I was going to say Hugh Grant. I thought she would have an insight into how we could best eat Hugh Grant. What are they called? Like a roulade? You know when you like flatten them out and then roll them up?

Oh, yeah. Hugh Grant meatloaf. With some kind of like creamy. But that's a waste of premium meat. He's premium meat. But I like this because you tenderize it. As you flatten it, you tenderize it. And then you roll with. Roll it out.

You stuff them with whatever. Stay tuned for the new podcast, How Would You Eat a Celebrity? Also, is this, like, we find this funny, but is this, like, insane? I don't think it is. Is it insane to hypothetically talk about how you would cook a human? I think it is, yeah. Like, we're joking. We're never going to.

Was it one of those things where eventually it doesn't seem that insane to us? So we do. We're like, let's get this celebrity back. Because we've normalised it. We've normalised cannibalism, but high class cuisine cannibalism. We're not just chucking them in a pot. I think we're finding it funny and most people would be quite aghast.

Is it weird? It's weird. Okay, I think the podcast is off again, guys. God damn it. We did it. It is on. Hold on, one more. I will do it with or without you. Yeah, well, we use the iHeartRadio app to listen to the show and our podcast, but some people use Spotify, and they have announced an AI DJ.

Yeah. Which will, I guess, know everything you've listened to and you skip and you love. Yeah, where you skip. I don't like to be followed so closely. I like when you, I mean, I don't use Spotify. I'm a company man. It's iHeartRadio for me from sunup till sundown. Mine's playing now.

Like, I'm listening as I'm talking to you. It's chewing through the data, but doing it for the company. But I do like how you can click on, like, an artist and then radio. And it will give you other artists like that artist. I quite like that. So I guess it's just going to be that to an extent. It's an algorithm. Do you think this AI is smart enough to form a playlist for me, Vaughn?

Because you've listened to some of my playlists. I think you would break it. You wouldn't know where to go next. I think a lot of people like that, though. They're all over the show. We went from Ludacris to Vivaldi Four Seasons like that. There was no slow,

this is how they joined. That was that. Yeah. Wow. Okay, the top six problems with an AI DJ. Number six on the list, it won't play your

Katy Perry request even though you've yelled it really loudly into the air four times. Number five on the list of the top six problems with an AI DJ. It won't let you put your handbag behind its desk. No, but what's its point then?

Where am I supposed to put it? It's heavy. I'm just going to put it there. I'm just going to tuck it in. I'll come back soon. I'll get you a drink to say thank you. They never do. Number four on the list of the top six problems of an AI DJ.

How is an AI DJ going to dance around with one headphone on and then press a spacebar and make it look like there's more to it than that? Yeah. Yeah. No more spinning discs, is there? No. It's all spacebar on the Mac. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And that's them just sending an email mid-set. Yeah, they're just doing their taxes, sending an invoice to the bar they're playing at. Good for them. Number three on the list of the top six problems with an AI DJ. Even though they're not a human, they'll find a way to cheat on you. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it's because all the honeys are in the bar, aren't they? Yeah. It's hard. All the honeys are, they're like, yeah. So tempting. Yeah. I'll stash your handbag back here if you give me a little smooch.

Yeah. A little smooch on the mouth. Number two on the list of the top six problems with an AI DJ, even though, you know, they're not a human, as I just established, they'll still find a way to bum a durry. Oh, yeah. Just one, though. I'll give you a dollar. He got a durry. I don't know why one, though. I'll give you a dollar. He got a durry.

I don't know why the DJ's like that. How old is he? You got a DJ. You got a durry. They love a durry. They love a vape now. Oh, big. Big vapes. Big vapes. Number one on the list of the top sex problems with an AI DJ. It will not stop hitting on your girlfriend.

It won't. Very handsy for an artificial intelligence. Very handsy. That is today's Top Sacks. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There is a clip on TikTok that has gone viral. 6.1 million views so far as of yesterday. That has sparked a debate about the difference

between Gen Z and millennials and how we are ageing. The debate started with a simple question of, have you noticed how millennials don't seem to be ageing quite like the generations before? Now, we all sort of fall within the realm of a millennial. Do you know the other day, a woman congratulated me. She said, how old are you? I said, I'm 33.

She goes, wow, congratulations. I said, what? She said, how old are you? I said, I'm 33. She goes, wow, congratulations. I said, what? She said, I thought you were in your 20s. Wow. She should be casting you in TV ads. Yeah, not 35 to 38 to 45. Yeah. But have you noticed how millennials don't seem to be ageing quite like the generations before?

Kickstarting the theory, he said, if you look at boomers, they look exactly their age. You're like, yeah, you're in your 60s or whatever. I think they looked older. Older. Like in the 80s when they were in their 30s. They looked a lot older than people in their 30s look now. Or it's like you see those old war pictures from the 1940s and you're like, he was off to war and he was 19 years old. You're like,

that's a man. That is a man there. When I think of like my male friends at 19, I'm like, those are teenagers. Those are boys. Those were little boys. Little weak spaghetti armed boys. But then you see a photo of my great granddad. There's a photo of him. And I was like, oh wow, how old was he here?

And dad was like, oh, he would have been 50. I'm like he looks 80. Yeah. They lived it hard. Was it no sunscreen? No sunscreen. Yeah. Withered. So then they're saying and they love durries. Oh my god, they love durries. Yeah, they didn't know about the durries. Well, they were told by their doctor that Joe Campbell cigarettes were actually a healthy option. So the throat.

So the throat cleared the nose. They think that the theory is to do with this, right? Because they're going, those generations, they lived a harder life than us millennials. But we are a little bit more informed about health and well-being than they were. So we do look after ourselves generally a bit better. And then they're saying that Gen Zers, they already look like adults when they're in their teens and stuff. Well, they're saying it's because, and you've got to give it to Gen Z,

they're growing up in a world that we have utterly ruined. But they have... As a millennial, I'm not willing to take the blame for utterly ruining. No, I'm just trying to, you know, I go hard on the Gen Zs. We blame the boomers for that. I think we blame up. Yeah, absolutely. Blame up. think we blame up. Yeah, absolutely. Blame up.

We'll blame up. Blame up. But they have more stress. So more technology, more stress, more pressure, I guess. Stress will kill you. Yeah, or lots of anxiety and stress. I know. It's not healthy.

That's why people are like, oh are like Oh doctors Oh you drink too much Blah blah blah I say yeah but Everybody's got a vice And mine isn't stress Yeah Yeah But are they saying

That they dress older Or that they just Look older Yeah right Quicker than us millennials And everyone's like Piling in big Also that the generation

Like their mum They grow up slightly Their mum just wouldn't Have told them They looked like shit Yeah Yeah Our mothers would've Everyone's like piling in big. Also that the generation, like their mum, they grew up slightly, their mum just wouldn't have told them they looked like shit. Yeah. Yeah. Our mothers would have. Yeah.

Yeah. For God's sake, you look terrible. Would you go for a run? Take some pride in your appearance. Get some fresh air. Go for a bloody jog around the block. I'm sick of looking at that fat little face. I'm literally getting complimented for just existing in my 30s and looking so fresh.

Sade turned 38 last week. She got ID'd for booze at the weekend. Yeah, gorgeous. And you could not wipe that smile off her grin, a grin off her face. I always say it when I get ID'd. Whenever they ID me, I'm like, well, I mean, I'm 33, but sure. And then I'll show them.

I'm like, you're shocked, aren't you? Yeah, look at me. 1989. Drink it in. Go millennials. but sure. And then I'll show that and I'm like, you're shocked, aren't you? Yeah, look at me. Drink it in. Go millennials. We fresh. We're keeping it tight. We're keeping it light.

Play. ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole today after using chapstick or lippy, do you wind it all the way down or just back to the top? Just back to the top. So it's just hiding.

It's just hiding below the rim. The idea for this little pile, I saw a woman with her lip balm and she did, I saw her roll it all the way in while I was in a shop. All the way down. And I was like. You're disgusting. What are you, like, just go to the top and put the lid on. I'm nervous fidgeting though.

It might calm her. Maybe. Also, I don't know because I don't use lip balm because these smooches they stay moist. That's a natural. Unchapped. Beautiful lips.

He's got beautiful lips. I'm just opening my chapstick to make sure I'm not being a hypocrite. Yeah, just to the top. How come that one's not nibbed? Usually yours are pointed. There's a little bit of a point on there. Looking up to the top. Just to the top. How come that one's not nibbed? Usually yours are pointed. Oh, no, there's a little bit of a point on there. So that's a way of looking up to a point. Get it on.

Get it on. Man, the chapstick industry is just having a laugh. I know. No, I love it because I've got SPF 30 in mine. It's good for the lips. Somebody wants to know what chapstick you use. I messaged him when he read. I use Aesop.

But only because I've tried so many and this one is, I love this one. It is good, it's thick. It is real good. It's thick. Aesop Rocky. Re-Artist Baby. Yeah, A-E-S-O-P. A-E-S-O-P. It's the cheapest thing in store. That's why he uses it.

Get it on special. He's also got Aesop soap holders in his bathroom. No, those are filled with cheap soap. But they're just filled with cheap. Because when it comes out flurro-orange, I'm like, you bastard. Aesop's Fables. He's using palm olive in there, isn't he?

Yep, you got me, Sproul, you got me. The most famous of Aesop's Fables is the boy who cried wolf. What are you talking about? Aesop, that brand that you've got. Is it named after a story? It's an ancient. It's a storyteller. He's a Greek storyteller.

Oh, okay. Oh, like Fables. Yeah. I think it's Australian. It's Australian brand. I'm just wondering why they called it Aesop. Yeah, right. Maybe because of that.

Well, I think the poll results, quite shocking. The amount of people that wind down their lip balm or lippy. All the way to the bottom, 25% of people. One quarter of people all the way down to the bottom, 75% saying just back to the top. But look, then you get the hole with the ooh, with the little nipper. I know that, yeah. How embarrassing. And then also, how much time

are you spending when it gets to the end? You've got to wind it all the way in and then all the way back up. I don't know, but wouldn't it put unnecessary wear and tear on the chap? Yeah. You'd think so, wouldn't you? Yeah. Caitlin messaged in saying,

I'm shocked by these results, TBH. People are F-ed. Agree. F-ed up. People are F-ed, eh? Yeah. Yes, Caitlin,

it would seem they are. Elysia said, I don't ever use it. Too scared my lips will become addicted and I'll have to use it all the time. There's another purist. Oh yeah, you can't. There's another purist. There was such a thing, eh,'t ever use it. Too scared my lips will become addicted and I'll have to use it all the time. There's another purist.

Oh, yeah, you can't. There's another purist. There's another thing about lip balm addiction. You can't use the medicated stuff. Your lips get addicted. Yeah. They become reliant on it. What was that?

There was an episode. It was Larry David. Did he do a chapstick? Yeah, there was a chapstick curb. Because you saved me from Carmex, didn't you? Remember you saw me using a Carmex fletch and you were like, girl, no. Girl, you can do better. What's Carmex?

Carmex lip balm. It's just like a medicated one. Yeah. Some people love it, though. Oh, yeah. No, I just find it, yeah. Anyway. You are a real snob when it comes to lipsticks.

Oh, my God. It's unimaginable. Real snobbery. Lippy all the way down, says Phoebe, butsticks. Oh, my God. It's unimaginable. Real snobbery. Lippy all the way down, says Phoebe, but chapstick stays where it is. So just right up at the rim there, but lippy all the way down. Why is that? Why does she want to? Maybe she wants to retain.

You know, lipstick comes with that angled top. Yeah. Maybe she winds it all the way down. Yeah, but you only need to go to the top. Also, because lipstick doesn't have the hole. Yeah. The big noodle hole. It's just attached to the bottom

And also I feel like lipstick All the way up Is like a turn and a half top Yeah it's not a big Whereas chapstick you're like Wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee Yeah Um

Smushed up chapstick in the lid Are you mad Says Rhiannon It's all the way down No no no no You go below Just enough to go past the lid top So you're level with the top Just below the room Yeah And then go past the lid top.

So you're level with the top. Just below the rim. And then you put the lid on. Ashley says, what effing... People are very sweary about this. I know. Very passionate. What effing animal is winding it all the way down? It gets the hole in it.

Yeah, it does. And then that hole never goes away. Hole chapsticks effed. Throw it out. She's very passionate. I love how passionate people are about it. She can get a lipstick now. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's very in and out. It goes very fast. Very fast. Just keep the nib. Yeah, it's a smoother roll. Yeah. A smoother twist.

I'm only doing half a twist, whereas that's around the bottom. I was fascinated by lipstick as a kid. Same. I just remember, like, I would just sneak into mum's room and grab a lipstick and just be like, how does it work? How does that twisting function work?

Did you ever find something that looked like a lipstick but it wasn't a lipstick? No, it was always a lipstick. Great for the handbag. Great size for the handbag. I love being a farmer. with a handbag. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I love being a father.

It's fun. It's testing at times. Very rewarding. But most of the time, it's a lot of fun. Makes up for all the loudness. Does it though? That is rich coming from you

and us on a whole. To complain about the noise children make when they are only making the noise they learn to make from their father. Yeah, true. But one thing I don't like is my kids playing weekend sport because that's my time. Yeah, man. That's bad.

And I say it to other parents and some of them are like, we've got friends and all they do at the weekend, all they do is run on their kids to all these different sports. I hate that. And I'm like. Don't you have a life? Me, me, me, me, me, my time. Weeknight sports, knock yourself out.

A little late night Tuesday hockey when the girls play hockey. Yeah, it's good day at night. Home for shorties. Takeaways that night. We're home and we're done. Let's be honest. They're not going to be in the national football team, are they? They could be.

But I'm certainly not helping because it's my weekend. I went to hungover netball games last year and I was just like, I should have bought my chair. You've got to bring a camping chair. You've got to bring a chair. Oh, my God. You've got to stand there? Yeah, I know.

But they've got the netball courts. They tried to squeeze another court in. Oh, my God. You've got to stand there? Yeah, I know. But they've got the nipple cords. They tried to squeeze another cord in. Oh, no. And now there's no sidelines. There's bubble rule sidelines. There's standing room sidelines. I need a big, you know, my big camping chair. Yeah.

It's not some baby camping chair. It's a big, huge moon chair. Daddy chair. Yeah, it's a festival chair. Big Daddy Bear's chair. Yeah. I can't fit it on the sideline. And I was hungover and, God, it's a festival chair. Big Daddy Bear's chair. Yeah. I can't fit it on the sideline. And I was hungover and...

God, it sounds horrible. And it's a drive. It's a drive. My parents did that all the time, marching. Every Saturday, every Sunday. And you were still doing it too. I was still doing it. And Mum still picks me up and she lives in Wellington.

But didn't she... She was into marching though, right? Yeah, she loved doing it. It's different when you're forcing your

kids to be into sports. You probably like love the whole that's the whole thing about it. You love it. Yeah.

I mean, they didn't force me into it. It's there by will. They've worked out how much time parents spend. What was it?

Go to your history, carefully. Oh, my God. Go history. You have one job, Vaughn. Go history and it's recently closed. I was giving you the parental thing. Well, you're feeding it to us. Yeah, I know, but I shut the tab.

How many hours is it? For God's sake, this man. Parents spend 52 hours every month driving their children around. Now, that is from the UK. So maybe... Would it be even more here? Well, you think you do a school pick-up, don't you? Yep.

So that's, let's say that's 15 minutes there and back and it happens twice a day. Yep. So there's half an hour. Yep. Half an hour a day, five times a week. Yep. And there's a bus. I'm sure there hour a day, five times a week. Yeah. And there's a bus. I'm sure there's a bus that goes past our house.

That's what I was thinking. Get on the bus. Get on the bus. And they're like, no, no, not the bus, not the bus. I'm like, the bus was the best part of school, start of the day. What have you guys been up to? Raising me off a silver spoon there, Vaughan. You're going to have to shake that up. I know.

I know. Get them on the bus. I would have biked to school if it was that close to my house. We had to bike to school. Yeah, we bik I would have biked to school. If it was that close to my house, we had to bike to school. Yeah, we biked. We biked to school, yeah. But we still got picked up, like, sometimes, like, yeah, and we got dropped off for sports.

Yeah. And then you'd be like, Ma'am, I need to get picked up from Jared's house. Ma'am. Walk home. Ma'am, ma'am. Ma'am, I missed the last bus. Ma'am.

Yeah. Ma'am, I knew you told me I had to catch the last bus back from Hamilton to first go into the cove and play arcade games with my friends, but we missed the bus, ma'am. Yeah. Ma'am, I know you told me I had to catch the last bus back from Hamilton to first go into the coon and play arcade games with my friends, but we missed the bus, ma'am. Come get me, ma'am.

And would she be very pissed at having to come all the way to Hamilton? Well, it was always me, Callum and Chris that went. There was three of us and if we missed it, a lot of the times

it was kind of on purpose. Yeah. That was the sort of risk it took. What time is it? Oh no. We missed it. We're bad kids of risk it took. What time is it? Oh, no. We missed it. We're bad kids loose in the city.

Rogue. In Hamilton City. We're naughty kids loose in the city. We've only got a dollar left. And our Sir Edmund Hillary phone card's only got 10 cents on it, so we're going to have to make a collect call. Wow. Do you accept a collect call charges from Vaughan?

Reluctantly. Yeah. Hello? Mum, it? Vaughan. Reluctantly. Yeah. Hello? Mom, it's Vaughan. Yes, I know. We're lost in the big city. Wow. You better come and get us.

How did you miss the bus again? Mom, these things happen. We're bad asses, Mom. So they would have spent a lot of hours, especially having to drive all the way in from the farm. Mum, well, Mum loved us playing sport. I don't think it's important your kids play sport, but let's try to keep it to a weeknight.

He literally just said don't play sport. No, no, no. I said play sports, just not at the weekend. Oh, right. When it's all right for Dad. That's Daddy sleeping. That's prime sport time. I know.

Yuck. All the sports. Just play on a weeknight. They're gaming. They're making as much as rugby players. I know, and they don't have to go anywhere. I know. Yuck. All the sports. I don't know. We're gaming. They're making as much as rugby players. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And then they're like, we need to move somewhere where there's less lag on the phone. But then mum and dad got fragged.

I'd love to take some calls now. How much did you use the taxi of mum and dad? Yes. Or the mum and dad Uber? Because you know what blows my mind? The kids did rowing or swimming. And parents would be up at like 4.30 or 5 a.m. Go to the pool.

To drive their kids to the pool. And then they'd wait for them to do swimming and then drive them to school. And swimming's so boring. Up and down, up and down, up and down. Yeah, how many times can you watch your kid go arms, arms, arms, arms, legs, legs. Boring. At least there's different outcomes at sports.

Whoa, my kid just got smashed. Especially swim practice. They're not even racing. They're just going up and down. They're literally training their body to do the most repetitive, boring thing over and over and over. Swimming sucks, man. Good shoulders, though. Great shoulders.

Upside down triangle. Hot bods. Hot bods. You can always tell when someone's got a swim when they're in a swimmer's bod. Long, lean. Is this where you ban from the pole? Yeah. We should... No, I won't hijack this. We should write this down. What sport has the hottest bods?

Is that inappropriate? Volleyball. Volleyball. Swimming. Swimming. No, volleyball. Because they're like... But why don't we see the Friday rankings next?

Oh, yeah, okay. Bodies, sports bodies. Hottest sports... Is this video? We'll just check with the... Marching girls. We'll just check with the snow... We'll check with the bloody snowflakes next door.

Are we going to get cancelled? Are the old boys going to get cancelled with this? Absolutely. Okay, we won't do it then. Oh, but. Radio used to be fun. What sport's got the hottest body, Carwin? No comment.

No? Come on, you must say. It can't be theatre sports. I know you like theatre sports. And it's not, what are you two doing at the moment? Crochet? That's not a sport. That's a hobby.

That's not a sport. That's a hobby. Look, you get a nice butt doing hockey. I will say that. Cancel! Because you've been told the whole time. Cancel! There it is.

I played hockey. I played hockey. And you got a nice butt. Not anymore, but maybe. You got a nice butt. I smacked but maybe. You've got a nice butt. I smacked it. Yeah, but there's tennis players. There's tennis players and squash players

who lunge more than anyone. Yeah, they do. And they all have rock hard bootoms. Male tennis players, eh? Okay, they keep it up. Okay, well, should we do this for Friday rankings next? Absolutely. Hotter sports players.

Well, they have to be. They have to be so athletic, don't they? But to me, tennis playing males are slightly on the skinny side for me personally. They're like a bulky upper half. They've got chandelier pyjamas. Chandelier pyjamas just said CrossFit. They've got those weird pokey-outy abs.

Yeah, get in there. That's not a sport, though. That's not a sport. They look chewy. How would you cook someone that does CrossFit? Oh, mate, that's a casserole. That's a chewy meat. If you're on your way to F45 right now and you're popping,

like, don't get me wrong, I can see the veins in your forearms. You are chewy. You're chuck. You are chewy. Someone said cycling. Cycling gives you hot quads, great butt, but you're too light up top. You've got good quads, though, don't you? No, so skinny.

Great quads and calves. We're not having it. We're not having it. We're not having it. Well, let's turn our attention to this. In Friday rankings soon, but right now. Very white feet. Oh, yeah, because they get white feet. A big t-shirt tank.

Yeah, because they're always out in the sun. And they always have a banana in their back. I know, exactly. And these are like flat water sacks. And they have air water. Yeah. Right now. Someone messaged in.

I might be wrong, but a couple of minutes ago, weren't we talking about driving kids around? The listener may have noticed me trying to get us back on track. Okay. Then soon. This is exciting. We're looking forward to it. Hotter sports pod.

Hotter sports pod. We should look up the Olympic sports and then we'll get a sort of cross- to it. Hottest sports pod. Hottest sports pod. We should look up the Olympic sports and then we'll get a sort of cross-reference. Okay, back on track. Oh, water polo. Oh, yes. Because it's like... Shouldering themselves up. They're keeping themselves up.

Like independent. They're moving the top body independent of the bottom body. They're like mermaids. Vaughan doing a water polo player is lost on radio because you can't see him. It's like shimmy. They do. And they've got to chuck it. I'm exhausted just playing.

Okay, back on track. Okay, back on track, back on track. We need to hear from you now, not about your hottest sports bods. That's next. Well, that's coming next on the show, but now we need to hear from people that use the taxi or the Uber of mum and dad. How much did they drive you around? How far did they go?

You look back now and you're not even a swimmer or a rugby player or anything. And they spend all these hours driving you to sports. Are they hoping you will? Maybe, yeah. Is that the thing? Because unless you're going to be the best wife. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. The average UK parent in a study spends 50 hours a month driving their kids around.

That's what you sign up for. I'm sorry. That's what you sign up for when you have kids. Your life no longer matters and it's all about them. And then they leave you and you're like, what happened? Now I'm old. I've missed all my opportunities. And then they leave you, and you're like, what happened? Now I'm old. I've missed all my opportunities. And then your friends that have panic attacks about this,

they can't come to our cocktail night, can they? Oh, my God, I'm going to get a babysitter. Shut up. We are on the precipice of Indy being old enough to stay home alone. Oh, my God, that's great. You will have no excuse not to come out with us. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's make porn fun again.

Liberal use that. Let's make porn fun again. Don't put that liberal use that. Let's make Bourne fun again. We'll get a red... Don't put that on a hat. Don't put that on a hat. We'll get that on a Trump hat. Let's make Bourne great again. Matt, on her birthday, we're going to throw such a big party for you.

Yes. Right now... Let's make Bourne fun again. We do. We want to know now how much did you use the taxi or the Uber of mum and dad? Now, I am having to really filter through what people think are the hottest sports bonds. Now, I will say the hottest sports bonds are coming up. Dude, this could be our most contentious Friday rankings.

I'm excited. Okay, well, let's start this morning with Georgia. Georgia, how much did you use the taxi of mum and dad? I probably used it a bit too much. So they used to drive me all over Auckland and around the country for dancing, but they would also fly me to Australia for my dancing. Oh my god, are you a dancer

now? Yep, I'm a dancer and a dance teacher. Oh, thank god because if it didn't work out. Do you know all the TikTok dancers? No, not TikTok. What's your style? I was just thinking, like, if you're a trained dancer, you'd pick those sorts of things up easy peasy. Yeah, but that's an embarrassing style of dance.

Yeah, no, it's not traditional, is it? It's not. What kind of dancer are you, Georgia? I do most styles, but also, like, ballroom and Latin and stuff. Oh, I love that. I love Latin. I love Latin. All right, so, Z, that was worth your parents driving you around.

Thank you, Georgia. Heidi, how much did you use the taxi Uber of mum and dad? Heidi, hi. I'm actually the current driver. Oh. Again, you signed up for that. I did. I did.

It's okay. It's okay. It's just blown out a little bit. She does have an ID in her taxi, but she wants nothing like it. Yeah, you can do the things and then you're like, oh my God, we're doing like five, one, two, six, four dance classes a week plus swimming and then the drive out to

school, which is not in our zone. Jesus. Are you doing the early morning swimming? Early morning swimming on a Saturday. Oh! That's Saturday. That's your sleep Yes, Heidi, that's Saturday. That's your sleep in, Heidi.

That's tomorrow. The funny thing is that they are only five and eight at this point. So they do 8.30 start swimming on a Saturday. Oh, my God. And then my oldest daughter does like an 11 o'clock ballet class on a Saturday and then a 1.45 class on a Saturday. Right. But this old girl does like a ballet class on a Tuesday.

No, no. This is real fun. Heidi, if these kids are in the Royal New Zealand Ballet Squad in their adult years, I'd invoice them for the fuel. So would I. It'd be a payoff. Oh, no. I'm hoping that it will pay off.

Yeah, nice. Thank you, Heidi. Let's go to Sarah. How much did you use the taxi of mum and dad? Probably too much. It's kind of embarrassing. I was in a equestrian. Oh, okay.

Gross. So you've got to not only be driven around everywhere, you've got to tow a giant trailer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and we went for all of New Zealand, up to the far north, all the way down to the far south. Did you BYO horse? Yeah, BYO horse, yeah.

Oh, my God, why don't you just rent a horse when you get there? That would be my worst nightmare, is having to reverse a horse trailer onto the inter-Islander. Yeah. Like, I can reverse the car, but not the trailer. So you're on the stairs with an inter-Islander with a trailer. Horses are also terrible at telling you when to, like, stop. Whoa!

Like, they get their horses. Terrible to have back there telling you how close. Okay, but did that all pay off then? Do you still horse around? No, unfortunately, I was useless. I mean, I would have found this out before I drove you even out of town. I also love flesh. Now, Sarah, do you still horse around?

Amazing, Sarah. Thank you. A couple of messages to finish off, and then we get to what the people are waiting for. Wow, the people are... The hottest sports bod. Weighing in already. Hottest sport, hottest bod.

This isn't fair. My mum was a single parent with no licence, so if we were going to sports, we had to hop on the back of a 50cc scooter with all of our sports gear, rain or shine. Oh, good mum. Good mum. Good mum.

Great mum. Mum had four kids plus dad. So I went, brother, rugby, BMX, water polo, swimming. Three sisters, swimming, netball, band practice, horses. And dad and kids, motocross every Sunday. Mum drove us to everything. We also lived 30 minutes out of town. Dude, even listening to that,

would you, money, horses, BMXs. Those are money sports. Motocross. Yeah, yeah. Growing up in like a rural town, the rich kids did motocross. Yeah. I remember once when someone was doing-

Yeah, but they always had a broken collarbone. Always. I didn't even know what a sternum, but they always had a broken collarbone. Always. Hot sticky scent. I didn't even know what a sternum was until three motocross guys broke theirs. Oh, God. But then they were all... I remember once saying to mum, oh, we don't have a motorbike.

Mum was like, she showed us in the paper how much a motorbike costs. She's like, that's why. And I was like, how do they afford it? Rich. Rich. Oh, yeah. Wow.

If you're doing motocross, you've got money to burn. Did you say maybe they shouldn't have gone on that little Hawaiian holiday and left the kids at home? Maybe you could have had a motor overseas trip. Yeah. Yeah. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

It's the final rankings. Wow. Today, final rankings. If we're getting cancelled for this, so many people are coming down with us. Oh, today, final rankings. If we're getting cancelled for this, so many people are coming down with us. Oh, yeah. If this gets outed, I don't know. I know we're being respectful. Respectfully. In the words of

Dido, I will go down with this show. We're talking, in final rankings today, hottest sports bods. Like, what sport has the hottest bods? As a result of the sport. Creates a body. Like what sport has the hottest bods? Like curates. As a result of the sport. Yeah.

Creates a body. Like you look at a swimmer and you go, I know you're a swimmer. You look at a wrestler or a weightlifter and you know that they're a powerlifter.

Powerlifter. People will be into that. People are into that. Well, somebody just messaged in strongman comp. Yeah. I love me big daddies. The big thick boys. The big thick boys.

The big thick boys. They are thick boys. Yeah, but they could carry you. Yeah, because they stack on food, so they've got the strength. So with the muscle comes fat, and that's what I like. Yeah, that's a hot combo. That's a hot combo. If you like a big, powerful man.

Like, you know that guy who was the mountain on Game of Thrones? Yeah. As a unit. And he's trimmed down lately, and I'm like, put it back on, Daddy. Chub me up. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, chub me up. Like Jason Mamoore at the moment, everyone's like, he's put on a bit of weight.

Thank you. Yum. Thank the gods. Yum. For that. How's your stalking going of him? Where's he at now? Well, he's still my desktop background, so I feel like I'm like micro-dosing him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I can like calm down. What do you call it when you're putting it to the universe? Yeah, I'm affirming. You're a creep. Manifesting creep. Manifesting creep. Manifesting creep.

Okay. Do you want me to just hit this list? Yes. Of what people have messaged in. Male gymnasts are making a late run for it. Petite.

Petite. Petite. Light on the bottom. Just light overall. They have to be light. The shoulders for it. Petite. Petite. Petite. Light on the bottom. Just light overall. They have to be light. The shoulders are huge. Powerful. Weight to power ratio

won't be better than the Suzuki Jimny. Oh, yeah. They've got a strong core too because they've never done that thing where you hold the ring. Oh, impossible. Impossible.

The answer is no. I've never done it. I can't. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. Okay, male gymnast. Go through your list. Water polo players. Yes. Very popular. S's impossible. It's impossible. Okay, male gymnasts. Go through your list.

Water polo players. Yes. Very popular. Silly sport. And we agree. It's because the body functions, the top of the body and the bottom of the body are two different things. It's rough though.

What goes on below the water, if the roof can't see it, like there's scrotal grabbing. Yeah. There's scratching. Yeah. There's pulling down of the speedo. Yeah. I'm just adding a few more. Someone said long jump.

Can't say too much time on the long jump. We just have an overall athletics. Decathlete. Yeah. But you would say the people that do the field stuff, that's one category, not track. Because they've got a different body. Track's different.

That's a different body. Because there are also groups of athletes, AFL, football players, hockey players, it's cardio. All you're doing is running, and so they're very slim and athletic. Lean and athletic. Hockey also, a lot of lunging,

getting the stick down low to the ground, that leads to a tight rear package. When you think about running, all I can think of is, what's his name? Eliud Kipchoge. Yeah. Eliud Kipchoge. And you've got to be as light as you can. He's tiny.

Yeah. He's so skinny. He's nothing but sinewy muscle. How would you cook him? Skewer. Water polo. Cyclists? No, silly.

Quads. People that, I tell you what, if you're into a bottom half, a cyclist is bringing it. Slim in the ankle. Yeah, slim in the ankle. It's just so salty when they walk into the cafe with the clippity-clops and the bulgy. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Those in glass houses, mate, you've got clip-clops. Only for the gym cycle classes.

Here's one. Here's one. Yeah. Surf life-saving. Oh, yeah. Great tan. Yeah. Great tan. Silly hat. Zinc on the nose. cycle class here's one here's one yeah surf life-saving oh yeah great tan yeah great silly silly hat yeah zinc on the nose hot shoulders from the boats zinc on the nose yeah and they do a fantastic community service even tan and look great in boardies yeah great knees because it's the first part that's popping out under the board they have a white bum though yeah compared to the

tan okay someone said figure skating. I can't say I've watched enough figure skating tonight. You'd just be athletic and like a dancer's body. Yeah, like a dancer's body. Pole vault. Long and lane. Yeah, long and lane. Jesus. I'm just hearing

the conversation now. It felt like I watched myself say, long and lane. That's alright. We are 100% respectfully objectifying these people. Aussie rules, you mentioned that. AFL, those AFL players. It's the little shorts too. They're like little Peter Pan's.

Whee! Yeah. You know what I mean? Nimble. Yeah, nimble as. Airborne. So I want to, somebody said kayaking, not rowing kayaking. That's the one where you're going forwards.

That's your Lisa Carrington's as such. Would they have quite good broad shot? Like your swimmers. Powerful shoulders. Okay. Rugby. Someone says, love me a thick boy. I tell you what, there's not been much mention of the rugby board.

Yeah, okay. Woman golfers. What the hell? You're into this. I think I What the hell? You're into this. I think I'm into this. You're into this. I think I'm into that. Okay.

Cycling again, getting another mention. Rowers coming in there. Someone said, I did rowing for five years. The only thing that kept me there for the fifth year was the fact that these lads were constantly walking around with their shirts off. Wow. And my shoulders abs and hot little pecs. Where's Mia? Hot little pecs. Little nips, little nips. That's their shirts off. Wow. And it was shoulders, abs, and hot little pecs. Where's me, uh... Hot little pecs.

Little naps, little naps. That's their words, not mine. I won't go down with this shit. Where's my basketball boys at? They're coming. Oh, thank God. Hockey players. Someone said, for women, it's hockey.

For men, it's sevens. Oh, yep. And that's from one person who may be a bisexual or just a pure... Aficionado of sports bodies. Aficionado of sports bodies. Surfers, someone said. They've got to have a good core.

Oh, yes, surfers. But they're often quite small as well. Yeah. Small package. Not that that's bad. We do not. Small package? In themselves, they are a small package. We stand a short king.

Jockeys, unfortunately, haven't had a single mention. Which is upsetting. They're going to be light. They're going to be tight. They're on that horse. MMA fighters. They're messing their horses at the moment, going to be tight, and they're on that horse. MMA fighters. Some of them are messing their horses at the moment, aren't they? Straight in their ears. MMA fighters.

Yes, hot. Tight. The ears and the smashed nose, not for me. Yeah, and then you've got to look after them when they've got all those brain injuries when they're in their 50s and 60s. Soccer players. Yes, hot. Okay, rock climbers. Climbers! Climbers.

Climbers. We forgot about climbers. Do you know who climbs? Jason Momoa. Does he? Power to weight ratio. Power to weight ratio. I love me an NRL thick boy.

Oh, yeah. Someone says. Anyone that does aerial fitness. What's aerial fitness? Like a trapeze. The curtains, the ribbons, the thing painted, the silks, and the pole. Okay. The pole dancing.

Yeah. For fitness. Track cyclist. Someone said not road cyclist. Trackless cyclist, because they've got to be power off the mark, and it's more a short sprint than it is an all day. But they wear those funny helmets that are like... Yeah, like little flames going backwards.

Yeah, that's cool. They're like little sperms, like little tadpoles. That's what they look like. Yeah, sper's cool. They're like little sperms, like little tadpoles. That's what they look like. Like aerodynamic. Triathletes. Okay. Crossfit athletes are beautiful to watch and drool over. Yeah, they're incredible.

Respectfully. Respectfully. Someone said you won't beat a juicy bum of a wicketkeeper. They spend five days of a cricket match in a squat course. Yeah, they squat, don't they? Yeah, someone said my ex was a wicketkeeper, a lovely juicy bum. Any votes for darts? No votes for dart players.

I love watching the darts. Snooker, any snooker? No snookers. Oh, someone just said darts players for the dad bod lovers. Yeah, man. Always like daddies on the darts. Someone said speedway driver. They were always inside the cage, inside the little cars.

I don't think they have a particular body, do they? Yeah, they do. They're light and small. F1 drivers have to be quite fit and slim, don't they? And they're very fit. What's his name? Daniel. Day Lewis.

Radcliffe. Vittori. Daniel Ricciardo. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's that Daniel. That one. Ricciardo. He's Australian.

He's got a hot bod. Okay. So, final rankings. Could you give us one? From the public's response, give us a one, two, three. From the public's response? Swimmers, surely. Water polo above swimmers.

Really? Yeah. Water polo is high up there. And quite a few rowing. Okay. Water polo, rowing. Swimming. And darts.

Nah, swimming didn't get too many mentions. I think you went so hard on the swimming, everybody felt that you'd spoken for them. Yeah, right. I reckon it's darts, man. Volleyball's get too many mentions. I think you went so hard on the swimming, everybody felt that you'd spoken for them. Yeah, right. Oregon starts, man. Volleyball's got a few mentions. Oh, we've got to go with basketball. Yeah, basketball.

Ginormous men with, like, shoulders. They're not just lanky anymore, those basketball players. They're into the fashion, you know. Yeah. Basketball, oh, used to all of them. Giannis. G-I-A-N-N-I-S. He plays for my Bucs.

My beloved Bucs. Yeah. That's a good looking man. Yeah. Huge, muscly man. Climb them like a pole, you know? Respectfully. And again, this conversation has been delivered with the utmost respect.

Respectfully. This morning, I don't know what crossed my mind that made me do this, but I just didn't see a problem in it until I was out there and it was too late. So, like, everything's in disarray at the moment at our house. And I also had to pack a suitcase because I'm going to Wellington today. And I've got marching on Sunday. So I had to pack all these bags. And then I put a bra on and some undies.

And then I put my socks on and my shoes because I knew I was going to wear a dress. Do you go socks and shoes and then the dress is last? Well, I did this time. Yeah, I don't know why. So I was wearing my Chucks white socks, undies, bra. And then I realized that the dress that I wanted to wear, which is the dress you see before you now, because I am in fact clothed, was in the boot of my car from a photo shoot.

In your stinky dink. It's in the boot of my stinky dink. Yeah. So I just packed up my stuff and got my handbags and my suitcase and then I just went to the car to leave. Just in my undies. So to any neighbour or anyone that saw you, you just looked like

a crazy person that had forgot to put your dress on. Yeah, like, I'm just going for a little walk, aren't I? I was just like, it's dark

and no one's really up and then two cars went by. What, quarter to five? Yeah, quarter to five. Two cars went by? Yeah, but like at the street running adjacent to mine.

So... Any of them stop and do a Yui and have another drive by? No, obviously it wasn't enough. Yeah, and I just walked out there and it wasn't until, and my driveway is gravel.

And then my gate is like, you've got to pull it. It's not electric. We're not rocking with that kind of money. Look at me. I was already there when I moved in. Yeah, that's true. I had to manually open this morning.

We're getting us. Oh my already there when I moved in. Yeah, that's true. I had to manually open it this morning. We're getting ours. Oh, my God. Welcome to my life. But I go like... Welcome to everybody else's. From the front door, I go crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, roll, crunch, crunch, crunch down there because my car was parked on the street.

And your knickers. Yeah. Just thought, why not? And then I was like opened up the boot to where the dress was and I just put it on and got in the car and went to work. And now I'm here in a dress. Was it crumpled on the car or was it hanging? It was like laid.

It was laid. Yeah, I had some clothing options in the boot for a photo shoot. Because I did this as a student, but it was like, just because there was a box of clothes in the car. Yeah, you just get changed there. And it was a little stinky and a little bit wet. It went in there a little bit wet. Yeah, well, to the residents of my street. Apologies.

No, you're welcome. We're turning our attention to, are we going to Florida? This feels very Florida. We're going to Orlando, Florida. Yeah, I was right. Where a woman, I can't, I can't with that accent. It hurts my ears. So she is on the I-4 West, which is

their big west motorway. Big western motorway. Surrounded by cars as always is the way in America. However, she is on a mobility scooter and she is utterly hooning it.

This is like, it was between 4.44 and 5pm. So rush hour. Rush hour. And she doesn't give a two squirts. Who is she? People will say. Why is she there? How did she get there?

I feel like this is something I would do, or you would do. You get that old, you don't care. And if traffic's slow, it's like when I used to drive my scooter home to Te Atatu and I lived there along the northwest of Motorway in Auckland. I had absolutely no business doing so, but it's jammed up with traffic. You just use the bus lane.

Why not? So they don't know. Someone just videoed it. The police have seen it. They're like, this is incredibly dangerous. She's got no helmet on. You don't wear a helmet on a mobility scooter. They don't go that fast.

No. She's going as fast. She is pedal to the metal, I tell you what. I love that. Anyway, she's elderly. Like, she is an old, old lady moving down the motorway. Either she has no idea. Lost.

Like, or she just, she knows exactly what she's doing, but she's old, she doesn't care. I reckon she's, yeah, like a curt old woman is just like, eat my shit. I don't give a crap. Like, what are you going to do?

They're not going to take it to court, are they? She's like, old. She'd just be like, I don't know. I got lost and confused. I'm old. Leave me alone. Take me home. I don't like to use that excuse.

Yeah. I'm old. I don't know what me alone. Take me home. I don't like to use that excuse. Yeah. I'm old. I'm old. I don't know what's happening. I've started using it. I want to know what the craziest thing you've seen an elderly person do. Maybe you work in an old folks home and you see people, like, jumping out three-story buildings to go and meet a sexy woman in the park.

Right. You know? Or maybe you see little old lady Janetta smoking a fat doobie, you know. Just living her best life. Hell yes. Well, yeah, you just deal with these senior citizens

and they don't care because they are in their twilight. Exactly, you be a law-abiding citizen your whole life, you get to being old. Who cares? Do it. It's boring.

Do it. It's boring being old. Like do it it's boring do it it's boring being old like when they catch old people shoplifting and they don't need to shoplift they're just doing it for the thrill

yeah they want to feel alive yeah you can't even be angry at them nah alright well we want to take your calls

0800 dials at M you can text as well 9696 what is the weirdest thing you've seen a senior citizen do maybe your own grandparents yeah after something crazy in their twilight years yeah why not throw caution to the wind What is the weirdest thing you've seen a senior citizen do? Maybe your own grandparents.

Yeah. After something crazy in their twilight years. Yeah, why not? Throw caution to the wind. We want to know the craziest. Oh, I was about to swear. Well done. Well done.

You're getting better. I'm learning radio. We want to know the wildest thing you've seen a senior citizen do. There was an elderly lady absolutely hooning down the motorway on a mobility scooter in Orlando. And we don't doubt that that stuff happens in New Zealand too. I'm sure it does. You get to your twilight years, you're like, I don't care.

I'll drive the motorway in my scooter if I want. Move aside, youngins. Olivia, you work at a retirement village. Yeah, we have some crazy stories. So what's a crazy, what's a good story then? What's like your number one? Okay, so one time there's like villas and apartments and then we have like our non-independent residents

who live in a hospital. But this lady was an independent resident and she does all her own medication and stuff because she lives by herself in a villa and she takes edibles for her pain and she um she one time took too much by accident because i think she must have forgot that she took it already and um she was stuck in her villa in her lounge that's just in one space of the lounge thinking that her floor wasn't stable and that she couldn't take a step because she was gonna fall over or something we've all been there this huge call out to a villa with like nurses and like everything to go and like see her oh my god that's amazing yeah we've all been there trying to keep

up with someone who does buckies, you know? No, honestly, some of them are so frisky, it's so funny. Oh, yeah? Are they all hooking up with each other? Yeah, they do. Honestly, I caught one of them one time walking out with no shoes on, like she just had this big nightie on and she had no bra on, no shoes on. Honestly, you're in your twine.

I was walking down to her villa two doors down and it was like, oh, my God. Absolutely get it on, my shoes on. Honestly, you're in your twilight. I was walking down to her villa two doors down and it was like, oh my god. Absolutely get it, old gal. Wow, I love it. I love it. Get it. Yes. Olivia, thank you so much. Easy access in those big old frocks too. Just flip them up, everything's under you. Get under there, boy. Susan, what's the craziest thing you've seen a senior

citizen do? Hi, good morning guys. So, I used to live in London and the next door neighbor was a very elderly couple and we're very close to them and one night I was with my husband in our living room watching TV and we could hear

the phone ringing in their home, like constantly ringing and I looked at my husband and I said, something is odd. I'm going to go and check on them because it was like one o'clock in the morning. So I went and my husband stand at the door. So I went to their house, knock on the door and she came. I have basically locked quite a few times.

And when she came, she opened the door and she was completely drunk and wearing just her lingerie. So she opened the door just wearing like a bra and knickers. I looked at her and she was complete passed out. She's like, oh, what are you doing here? And I said, oh, I'm sorry. I just came to check if you guys are all right. And I can still hear the phone ringing on the background. I was like, you know, the phone is ringing.

She's like, I know it's my son and I don't want to answer the phone. Bessie O'Byrne. Answer the phone. Batsy or Bertrand. She was completely, I could actually smell the alcohol when she was talking to me. I was like, oh my God. Wow. As long as you guys are okay, I'm okay to go. I think we've just seen a look into Hayley's future. Yeah. Thanks, you call.

Paula, the weirdest thing you've seen, craziest thing you've seen a Sandy citizen do? Hey, guys. Just a quick one. My dad used to work at a rest home when I was younger, and he said that this lovely old lady used to give out nuts to everyone who came into her room, and it turned out that she was just sucking the chocolate off scorched almonds and keeping the nuts

and then re-offering the nuts to everyone in the school room. Waste not, want not. They don't like to waste, do they? And the teeth, they don't work on the teeth and nuts. Just suck off the chocolate. Yuck. So she'd be like, do you want a roasted almond? And they'd be like, yum, of course they do.

Thank you. Oh, that is disgusting. Thank you, Paula. Some more messages in. You all right? It's just a message. Playing pokies next to an old person. Yeah.

And this old person dropped their guts a couple of times. And they'd look at them. They do, eh? And then the jackpot was getting close to 1,000. And then all of a sudden, the elderly person beside them had an accident. And they were like, oh, my God, do you need help? And he's like, no, I knew it was going to happen, but the jackpot's about to go.

Oh, for God's sake. That's not an accident. He just chatted himself. He's just like, well, I've got two choices here. Give up, you know, maybe a win. I just think I'm going to do it. Did he win afterwards? No word.

This person left. Oh, for God's sake. That's another great technique. Flush everybody out and then you've got the jackpot all to yourself. My uncle taught all the other patients in the dementia ward how to climb the fence and escape. He organized for every patient to escape on the same day. Oh, wow.

And then after their escape was thwarted when they found them just down the road, he got told off for constantly being in other people's rooms, playing with their toes while they were asleep, and they'd wake up and he'd go, eee. Ooh. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Oh, why? I can't wait to be old, eh? I'm going to get up to ruckus. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Hi. Did you say my wife? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Hi.

Did you say my wife? I thought you said do my wife. Get a grip. Today's fact of the day is about neutron stars. You haven't hooked me in yet. Okay. A neutron star is a remnant of a star, a massive star, like 10 times bigger than our sun.

Yeah. Ran out of fuel, collapsed, exploded, collapsed some more. It's extremely dense. It's extremely small, but it's like, it's insane. Okay. Okay. If you bought one, so this is to compare it to our sun. If you were to get a tablespoon of sun.

Which sounds, or level. I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine I got a table, got a tablespoon of sun Of sun So if you, how much do you think a tablespoon of sun would weigh? Our sun, tablespoon of it If you could get a tablespoon that could withstand it You could get close enough to get it If I could have some kind of thermal glove

A welder's glove 10kgs. Interesting. A tablespoon of caster sugar is 12.6 grams. Now that's all I've got to go off. Sugar. You think the sun's mass is comparable to sugar? How much would a tablespoon of sun be then?

Well, if that's 12.6, I'm going to say 12.6 kgs. Okay, it's two kilograms. You both overshot a little bit. Damn it. Because when you ask a question like that, I'm always like, it's not going to be a simple answer. That's why I went high. You went high. Yeah. Well, good. You almost got it. Two kgs. Two kgs of sun.

A tablespoon of sun weighs two kgs. A tablespoon of neutron star weighs one billion tons. Can we start using this as our own weight measurement? I weigh 40 tablespoons of sun. Can we start using this as our own weight measurement? I weigh 40 tablespoons of sun.

Yeah, you could. You know what I mean? Yeah, you could. Yeah, if you're 80 kgs, you could say I weigh two tablespoons of sun. How many? 40. 40 tablespoons of sun. Yeah. It's a cuter measurement.

Yeah, it is cute. It is cute. And it's smaller. Yeah. But it would be the weight of Mount Everest, this tablespoon of neutron star. With all the dead climbers on it? With. Okay.

When you get to that scale, you know, the decomposing body of... They're everywhere. The way to bring the mood down. They're everywhere. They're landmarks. They don't take them away. Corpse Mountain. They don't take them away.

They leave them there. I'd have a rifle through a pocket. I'd have a photo shoot. I'd do like, you know, when you shake a skeleton's hand, you're like, ah. Respectfully. Respectfully. With respect to the dead.

I don't know if that makes it better. I absolutely would. Okay. And if my body was to die on that mountain, I would want tourists to do the same. Okay. Have a little rifle through my pockets. Yeah.

I might have an M&M in there. Take a silly photo. Take a very silly photo. Put me in a compromising position. Trail mix would last forever up there because of how cold it is. You can have my trail mix. If I die in Everest, please help yourself to my trail mix. Oh, absolutely.

There's no chocolate in there. It's not heavy and those little dried squirt of fruits that get in your teeth, they're still there too. I'm taking the yogurt raisins too. The yogurt raisins are gone. Don't be silly. There's a few raw cashews. In fact, I bought trail mix and a bag of yogurt-covered raisins and The yogurt raisins are gone! Don't be silly. There's a few raw cashews. In fact, I bought trail mix

and a bag of yogurt covered raisins and then added more. That's how much I love yogurt covered raisins. And yet when you find my body on Everest, they're all gone. They're all gone. They're all gone. This is why he died. Some would say that's why he didn't make it. He was feeling purely unwell. Yogurt covered raisins from base camp.

He was too excited about his trail mix and he forgot to drink. And he died. Yeah. And help yourself to the remainder of the trail mix. Yeah, please. So today's fact of the day. I think I like the weight of the sun better.

A tablespoon of sun weighs two kilograms. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. The trailer's been out for quite some time for Cocaine Bear. She's still singing, is she? Gosh, shush. I'm talking now.

The trailer for Cocaine Beer came out and it like grabbed my attention and I went oh my god I love this this looks so cool I didn't know

it was a true story about a beer that had a lot of cocaine now it's a film Elizabeth Banks has directed it Yes and my friend is in it

Alan Henry and he's here Yeah I sure am Hi Alan You are the beer I am the well I should point out I am part of the beer. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. So there's, I was doing performance for the beer and I was referenced and I was on set and I was in the weird get up. But also the phenomenal magicians at Weta FX were also the beer. Yes, of course. So it's motion capture just like. It's, it's not, it's actually's motion capture Just like It's It's not

It's actually not Motion capture It's I was doing What is essentially Performance reference So there wasn't There weren't any

Virtual cameras capturing My movement with the dots Or anything like that We did do some Back home at Weta Okay For like pre-vis And a bit afterwards

But on set It was just me And like Silly black lycra Wow With like a fake Head and some arm extensions. I've always thought they must be so hard for actors

to be in front of something that isn't there. And take it seriously. And take it seriously. Honestly, those actors, credit to their imagination. Yeah. Because they were playing really truthful, honest performances with a 95kg bald Kiwi dude being like, hey, what's up?

Initially, when I saw the trailer, I was like, this is some kind of Sharknado movie, which is so unbelievable it couldn't be true. But this is based on a true story about some drugs, a plane. Was it a plane crash? No, no, no. The drugs were thrown from the plane. Right. Abandoned.

And they landed in the forest. And in the true story, this was 1985, a bear found the cocaine, these bundles of cocaine, and gobbled them all up and then died. Yes. Like near the package. Do you know how much cocaine? 70 pounds, apparently.

Yeah, I don't know the metric conversion. 31.75 kilograms. How many tablespoons of sun is that? That's approximately 15. 15 tablespoons of sun. Wow. And then, so that was the true story, but in the movie, this bear goes on a cocaine-fuelled rampage.

Harder, yeah. Wow. And you are the bear. So for context, Ellen, I've always known you as a stuntman. Well, no, we actually met through Shakespeare. We've known each other since I was a teenager. Shakespeare, riddled with stunts.

Riddled with, well, true, actually. Actually, yeah. Quite a lot. And then you got into stunt work and then you got into this motion. I just hopped on your IMDb. Also, like, just stoked that one of my friends has a big, rich IMDb. You know what I mean? It's not just some sort of independent film that's filmed in the backyard.

So on top of Cocaine Beer, you did motion capture and stunt performing for Black Adam, Doctor Strange, Paranormal, The Tomorrow War, Black Widow, Mulan, Jumanji, Avengers, Infinity War and Endgame, Mortal Engines, Ghost in the Shell, the BFG Jungle Book, Hunger Games. Yeah. You're the guy. Like, how did this happen? How did you go from doing,

like, pretty not well-selling Shakespeare's in Wellington to, like, these incredible-sized productions? I've been very, very lucky. I've been in the right place at the right time. No, no, Alan, you're very talented. It's a very New Zealand thing to say, but I'm just luck. You're incredibly talented. Thank you. I will say that I

did stack the deck in my favour. When I had finished my training at drama school, I had already been talking to people who were making this kind of work and doing this sort of thing. And Wellington's the kind of place where it's very, you can build a network very quickly because everyone knows everyone who's doing everything.

And people will just ask and say, do you know anyone who can do this for like a day? We just need someone. And it grows from there and people get to know you and they get to know your skills. And I happen to be working on a TV series with a very good friend of mine Ben Francham who is also a phenomenal

physical performer and he was doing motion capture for Tintin at Weta and they just called him one day and they said hey look we need one more person just to be these like sailors who are fighting some pirates. Do you know anyone? Yeah. And he literally was like I'm sitting in the car with Ellen Henry. That's like a drill.

We need someone to pretend to be a sailor to fight a pirate. That's you. You've got to do that. You've put your sitting in the car with Ellen Henry. That's like a drill where we need someone to pretend to be a sailor to fight a pirate. That's you. You've got to do that. You've put your eggs in the wrong basket. You never need one more. I'll note that down.

If you see, like I've seen a still of you on the set of Cocaine Bear as the bear. You've got the bear head on top of your head and you were down on all fours,

so physical. Vaughan, you can't touch your freaking toes. No, I can't. I'm not that physical. How do you, because I mean, you're not old by any stretch of the imagination. You're 41 years old.

Yeah. But you've done so much of this. As you said off-air to me before, you've beaten up your body since you were 14. Yeah. How are you still able to be so physical? I can't do it. And I'm younger than you. I think partly because, I mean, I never really grew up, you know?

Like I've been a big kid for as long as I can remember and I've always been physical. And for the longest time, you know, people say like, you know, do Pilates and yoga and, you know, kind of stay strong and go to the gym. And I hate cardio. So I disguised it. I disguised cardio as gymnastics. Right.

So I would go to like adults open classes and, you know, do like, do flips and cartwheels and, you know, and try and learn, like, learn a B twist and play on the trampoline for hours and kind of. You don't do parkour, do you? Because I've just, I would lose a bit of respect. Parkour. You're jumping off of buildings and stuff, aren't you?

No, I don't, nah, I don't jump off of buildings. Okay, good, good, good. You're still quite cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, I love this. I love, this is like, I feel't jump off buildings. Okay, good, good, good. You're still quite cool. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, I love this. This is like,

I feel like this is going to be one of the biggest movies. Elizabeth Banks said, this could be a big thing or it could be the end of my career as I know it. I love that. What a great roll of the dice. It came out yesterday, I believe. Yes, it did.

You can go to cinemas and watch it. Kerry Russell is in it. Yeah. She's great. She said I was handsome. Oh. Did she? Yeah, I've never felt cooler.

Was this Ray Liotta's last movie? One of the last ones, yeah. Wow. Oh, he's great, isn't he? Yeah, he was a wonderful, wonderful man. And it's got Sweet Tooth in it? Yeah, yeah. Christian Condry, yeah.

Sweet Tooth. I didn't know his name. The boy has a name. He has a name. His name is Christian Condry. Yeah, the boy in Sweet Tooth. It's an amazing cast, including has a name He has a name His name is Christian Convery Yeah the boy in Sweet Tooth It's an amazing cast Including yourself Alan

I'm so excited to see this So very proud of you Oh thank you Hayley You've come a long way Honestly Some of these Shakespeare's You did It was just like

What am I watching Well that's in cinemas Thanks so much For joining us My absolute pleasure Hey remember how You just gave that Uber driver Five stars

Because you wanted Five stars back Yes Let's do that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.