ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 24th March 2022

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Air NZ  1/4 Life Crisis  Top 6: John Travolta  SLP: Noodles  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day DaaaaySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee. Available now at Macca's. Big weekend for the Sproul family. It is the end of an era. My father officially retires tomorrow.

Wow. Yeah, I know. How old is your dad? My dad's 60. Fucking nice for some. Yeah. Retiring at 60, that's the dream. It's definitely, I don't think it was the plan, but like life's too short, you know,

and he's had a taste of the good life. Yeah. Has he had a friend recently have like a health thing? Yeah, and he's had a health thing as well. So it's kind of like He was thinking about it And we were all like Yes we're on board Yeah because my dad

Got a pacemaker last year And that has changed his plan I think he just would have farmed forever Yeah I think my dad would have Because my dad is He runs a finance company He's co-owned it And I think he would have wanted to get to 65

Yeah But now that you know Because Patsy's creating the good life. Do you know what I mean? They go to Italy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And every time they go to Italy, they go a little bit longer. This just sounds to me like he's spending your inheritance

and you need to stop this. Well, it did come to mind. You don't want to keep going. Is he the sort of guy That can't sit still though Because my retired father Would be a nightmare He can't sit still

Old mates hate it hey That's my mum My dad could My dad like Golf Yeah loves golf Loves tennis He's a squash player

He's got some sports He's got some hobbies That's good Because my dad's always worked Never giving himself time for hobbies. So farming is his hobby as well. Farming is his hobby, is his lifestyle, is his job. I think he will probably drive my mum nuts

because my mum has been a homemaker for many years. And she loves just having the house to herself and pottering around doing her things. Now she's going to have old Craig Sprouse sniffing around. Yeah. But I imagine he's just going to sit in a beanbag and read a book for the rest of his days. Loves a book? Loves a book for the rest of his days Loves a book

Really? My dad will read, what's that show we watched? Reacher, my dad read the books of those My dad was, he needs an action An action book, and he'll only read a book When he's on holiday, because if he sits down to read a book At home he falls asleep immediately It's very strange

I feel like I'm going to get to know A different person Because I've known him my whole life As being a man who works Yeah yeah yeah In a corporate job And now he's going to He's going to be sort of Hanging around

I never knew Well my grandad's both sort of like One grandad died pretty much farming Went to the grave And my other grandad Like just stopped farming And then immediately just like Clocked out

soon after he was dead. So I've never known. Oh, thanks. That's good for me. No, I've never known the man in my family to retire. Well, that's why. Don't let him stop. Get him tennising.

Get him golfing. I know. Get him book reading. Yeah. Sudokus. Oh, my God. No. No, that doesn't work

because I know someone whose mum did sudokus religiously and she got very bad dementia. So it won't stop it if it's coming. I thought about maybe getting him a brewing kit because he loves a beer. Oh no. Then you've got to pretend to like home brew. Then every time you and Aaron go around there, it's going to be watery, gross or extremely strong, dark, some like over the top lager.

No, just let him drink the beers that other people make. Let him drink good beer in a bean bag. Yeah, reading his book. Reading a book. Wowza. In Italy sometimes. Well, happy retirement, Craig Sproul. We're very proud of you.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Still at home, mate. It's your freedom day, technically. It is.

You having a parade? Yeah, a freedom parade. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, the problem is if you label it a freedom parade, you're going to attract the wrong sort of crowd. Yeah, freedom parades have been ruined now, haven't they? The old F word's been hijacked a bit this year.

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. Muggy? Muggy at yours or just muggy in the studio? It's very muggy in here. Very muggy in the studio. Is it because I complained

that yesterday I was too cold? I goosebumps the whole time. Yeah. Because Fletch, you usually like the studio frosty. I'm a chilly, I'm a chilly,

frosty studio guy. It keeps you on your toes. Yeah. It keeps you on your toes. Yeah, it wakes you up. If I get too warm, I get sleepy. Yeah. I do that at HYBPA. I have that studio icy cold. It needs to be icy cold.

And then because we're under lights and we're wearing, you know, I'm often wearing a very cheap polyester suit. That's why we can't have the gas heater going. Exactly. So we always have the room absolutely frosty to the point where the crew at one point complained, didn't they? Because they were like, we can't work in here.

Yeah. And they were told to put on a puffer jacket. And yeah, Hayley said, if I don't know your name, I don't care for your opinion. And it was just like that sort of attitude that really sealed that presenter's award. How dare you. It was a hot play though. It was a hot play, though.

It was a hot play. All right, coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, John Travolta, a lifelong aviator. Was that an extra syllable? Aviator. Avoyator. Avoyator. He likes to fly planes.

He's got a new type of license. Oh, okay. He's got a heap of planes, doesn't he? Yeah, he's got a house. He's got an old Qantas. In the old paint style of Qantas, like a 1980s style Qantas paint job. And his house looks like an airport terminal because the front of the Qantas plane like pokes its nose under half a garage.

Into the lounge. He's got a couple of hangers in there. Yeah. the front of the Qantas plane, like, pokes its nose under half a garage. Into the lounge. It's got a couple of hangers in there. Yeah. So he's got a new type of pilot's license, meaning he can now fly another type of plane. So I've got the top six signs that John Travolta's your pilot next time you get on a plane. All right, it's coming up next on the show, though.

Well, something's on the rise. And to me, I've got to say, it absolutely makes no sense. Well, despite there's a pending war at the moment, there's a pandemic floating around for the last few years. Don't forget global warming. Global warming. It's been 40 degrees warmer than usual in Antarctica. Oh, that's good news.

Great news. Cost of living's going up. Can't even afford fruit and veg. Well, apparently, happiness is on the rise. Apparently, as a planet, we are happier than ever. We've got to make our own happiness. You've got to make your own happiness, don't you? Yeah.

So you may remember a few days ago we talked about, you know, the World Happiness Report that they do every year that tells us what countries are the happiest countries in the world. Yeah. Finland was the happiest. Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Sweden, Norway. Weren't we 10?

Yeah, we were 10. I think we were down one place. We were 9 last time and we're 10 this time. I'll take a 10. The thing is because misery makes the best news, right? Bad news makes the best news headlines and... No. Well, they're saying that the reason is because we're living in unprecedented times. It's the fact that we're being more charitable and we're caring for others more than ever.

That's what I mean. We see so much bad news. Everywhere you look, it's bad news, bad news, bad news. But then because it's the easiest thing to get people to read right. And there are people out there that do the bad news and then you're like, oh, what's going on here? But maybe the majority of people are still like,

well, there's hope. Yeah, absolutely. This study showed that helping strangers, volunteering, donations were up almost 25%. Wow. In the last year. And that is because

I guess we're recognising that people need happiness and help and support more than ever. So we're becoming more of a selfless planet. So that's good. Well, that's why you've decided to help the elderly. I have decided to help the elderly.

After watching one reality TV show episode. Yeah, we did make a plan. We did watch, what's it called, The Old Folks Home for Four-Year-Olds. And I was like, this is going to be my focus, helping the elderly not be lonely. The original plan was like, all right, we'll have some kids because then we can take the kids because we're not entertaining. Kids are entertaining.

I thought you said we're not entertaining kids. That's their job. Like you were going to have kids just to pound them off to the old people. Oh, I use it as a babysitting service. Yeah. No, no, no, no. But then I remembered I desperately don't want that. Yeah. So, my new thought that I had last night when I watched another episode

and continued to cry was maybe I'll go play some piano. They would foos that. They would love that. I don't really have any. Would they? They would love that. You're not as cute as a four yearyear-old? No, I know.

And it would have been so much cuter if I had have done this when I was a kid and I was very good at playing piano when I was a kid. Yeah. And it would have been more impressive. Now I'm 32 and I'll say I'm worse than I was when I was a kid. Like, if this means anything, we went and saw my great nan once when I was like intermediate age. And mum-

Was she in a home? She was in a home. Yeah. And mum made us take our, my brother played the saxophone at the time. Sorry, sorry. It's just such a loud instrument. And I played the cornet,

which was the poor man's trumpet. Now, apparently, I never met the man, but apparently my great-grandfather, her husband, played the cornet. So mum's like, take the cornet and play them a little something. And then my brother's like, that's unfair. Mum's like, well, you take the saxophone and you can play a little something as well.

So we drove all the way down to New Plymouth. She was in a rest home in Opunaki. And we proceeded to play. I can't remember what I played. It was some horror. I was never very good at it. The last post. And she was like, that was lovely.

And there was like, just something happening there meant that the old people had something to like watch. Yes. And it wasn't like today at 12 o'clock, Dolly's great-grandchildren are going to come and play. We just arrived unannounced. Unannounced with bras. Yeah, and we're like, is it all right if we play these?

And she's like, I don't know. And then they checked with the rooms around her and then the nurse was like, go into the main area. Take your corner. And so we played and they just had something to watch and we sucked. And they liked it maybe just because we were young and they felt sorry for us.

And they probably thought we had something wrong with us. Yeah. Or they couldn't hear you. Yeah, and that probably caused it. They just loved having something different. You know, variety is the spice of life. Well, I can either offer my piano playing skills. I don't have anything they can sing along to either.

It's going to be obnoxious classical music. They love obnoxious classical music. Or I could take my marching team there and do a little display, but I do think... I'd love that too. The old mates would love that. I was going to say, I think the short skirts... Yeah, the old boys, you get some heart threats in. Might stir something in there.

I don't want to cause any heart attacks in the old folks' home. Yeah. You were talking about happiness. Horniness will be through the roof. No, you're horny with your cornet and your saxophone. Some excitement in the office this morning because Harry Styles has big news. And we cross to our Harry Styles correspondent,

Coen, at the social media desk. Good morning. Oh my gosh, what an honour. You are the show's official Harry Styles correspondent. You need to add that to the bottom of your email. It's going on my LinkedIn. Yeah, do it. Yeah. So he's official Harry Styles correspondent. You need to add that to the bottom of your email. It's going on my LinkedIn. Yeah, do it. Yeah.

Yeah. So he's announced his third album. It's going to be called Harry's House. The cover is like him standing in an upside down house. Does that make sense? Yeah, I saw this. He's standing in the house upside down. So chic.

I love it. And he's wearing just the cutest outfit, isn't he? It looks like a baby doll would wear it. It's so cute. A little baby doll top and some flares. God, he's a looker. So when does this come out? His last album's great.

May 20th. May 20th. Just around the corner. I'll be taking the day off. It's fair. Really? She's not even joking. You are our Harry Styles correspondent, so I understand.

You don't have to take leave because you're doing work there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. Don't mark that as a leave date. You just stay at home that day and chalk that one up to experience. Look at this.

Look at this face. Look at this. I know. She's really happy. She has only mentioned that about a dozen times before the show even started this morning too. She's got a real pep in her step, doesn't she? She does when she got that news.

That really got her going. Well, another big announcement yesterday. Air New Zealand got us all excited about the prospect of travel afar because they announced that they will be flying from September nonstop from Auckland to New York. Is that the longest commercial flight in the world? So I've just looked. It's one of the top.

The longest is New York to Singapore, which is 18 hours and 50 minutes non-stop. Wow. So Auckland to Doha and Dubai are the next on the list. Those are like 18 hours and just over 17 hours.

There's an LA-Singapore. The New York- Auckland one, I don't know if it's on this list yet. I heard 18 hours yesterday. There's an LA-Singapore. The New York-Auckland one. I don't know if it's on this list yet. 18 hours. I heard 18 hours yesterday, but... Yeah, 18. I heard 18 as well.

But uphill. Uphill on the way. Uphill on the way. So it might take longer on the way. Yeah, so I think it's going to be the third longest flight in the world when it starts. It's a long flight. It's a long... It's a lot of movies.

Like, even if you knock yourself out with a sleeping pill, like I can do for like six or seven hours, that's still 11 or 12 hours left of a flight. Aren't you nervous you're going to wee yourself? I've always thought this with sleeping pills on planes. No, but see, you're a bed

wetter, so you're probably more likely to be triggered by the idea of not being able to wake up and go for a wheeze. I think the first time I was, because I'm not a sleeping pills guy and I just wanted them for long travel just to get a good sleep and you're always worried that you're going to like wander around the cabin

and not have any recollection or piss yourself but they just knock you out and then you wake up and you've had like 6 or 7 hours sleep on a plane see I 18 hours is too long because

I mean this may shock you but I love to have a little tipple on the plane and I often get so excited because I'm heading somewhere exciting right so you hop on

and you go a bit hard at the top and then usually you sort of go to sleep for a bit and then you wake up and then you're nearly at your destination

but I would go to sleep wake up and then I just have to handle a hangover and still have like eight hours left to go. Yeah. I've done the Qatar one a couple of times and that's 18 hours. It's a long time. It's a lot of TV shows. It's an insane amount of time.

It's so much. On a plane. Very exciting though. Go direct from Auckland to New York. Go see some theater. Get in a taxi cab. Then you get there and the theater's so expensive there. Isn't everything expensive there?

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. What about a hot dog? What about a $1 slice of pie? What about a horse rider on Central Park? Oh, yeah, what about it? I bet Americans can't wait for you two to turn up. Hey, I'm a walker now. Forgot about that.

Now, we all know the term friend zoning, don't we? It's when you're in love with someone or you think it's going somewhere and then they're like, it's just friends. And it doesn't turn romantic or sexual in any way. You've just been friend zoned. You may remember Ross from Friends. He got the title Mayor of Friend Zone through many of his relationships. What episode was that in?

The one with the Mayor of Friend Zone. Yeah, the one with the Mayor of Friend Zone. Well, now there's a new term in the world of relationships called Sex Zone. And it's not as sexy as it sounds. Welcome to the Sex Zone. Sex Zoning is the opposite. That's all that person wants. It's your hot body.

You want to get, thank you, you want to get romantically involved, emotionally involved, go to a deeper level. But they're like, just shush, shush, shush, shush, take your pants off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, enough of that. Gives a look at you. Wow. Sex zoning. And apparently it's increasing and increasing and people don't want to commit to long-term relationships. Are they open about it in this sex zoning?

Are they, is it a... I don't think they brand it. Do they string you along with the thought of maybe a romantic emotional relationships around the corner? They say you can tell if you've been sex owned. You're probably feeling a bit used, you know, because you're going, this is going to lead to a relationship. This is going to go, you know, get somewhere deep.

And when you realise that you've been sex owned, you do. You feel a little bit empty. Who is the worst offender? You want me to answer it? Boys. Boys. The boys. I feel like boys have been doing this under the label of F-boys for

quite some time. Players. I feel like if it's got like a nicer name, it's because females have become involved in it. Yeah, well they're saying it's pretty rubbish for your self-esteem. To be on the receiving end of it. I mean, you know, like I'm super aware of my mega hot body, but I must have a pretty crap personality. Well, you know, like I'm super aware of my mega hot body.

Yeah. But I must have a pretty crap personality. It's an awakening, actually, because hot people have been skating along. What, with their rubbish personalities this whole time? Yeah, absolutely. It's about time they started working on. It's about time they realised, is this all I am? Get some things to talk about.

Yeah. Yeah, this is actually a good call. If you are super hot and you're listening, just double check. This is what it's been like for the rest of us. That you've got stuff to talk about. For ages. There's some signs that you've been sex owned.

They always steer the conversation towards something sexual. So I might be like, oh. I read a good book. Yeah, I read such a good book the other day. Yeah, was it the Kama Sutra? Right.

No, no, it wasn't. No, just like everyday conversation. Yeah, they don't really seem to be listening to you. They're no longer friendly towards you. They're just sexy towards you. They just want to do it. They react negatively towards your romantic partners. I don't get that one.

They hint or joke about sex all the time. They fish for compliments. Okay, am I sexy, am I? I fish for compliments all the time. Did I sex-own you guys? I don't know. And if they do... If you have, this is the weirdest

sex zoning ever yeah it's the no sex sex zone this last one's terrible if they do proposition you sexually and they are rebuffed

they no longer seem interested I mean that's clear as day isn't it in the sex zone stuff if you're in the sex zone you don't want to be

in the sex zone I would say absolutely go and find someone else and hop into the romantic zone the everything zone the everything zone all in zone say absolutely go and find someone else and hop into the romantic zone. The everything zone. The everything zone. All in zone. Yeah. The like, let's get

a mortgage zone. Yeah, that will one day become the twilight zone. Yeah, I want to hang out with your mum when you're not around zone. Oh yeah, that could be putting mum back in the sex zone. Yeah. I want to put you in the let's just make a meal out of whatever's in the freezer zone. Oh yeah, that's hot stuff.

That's hot stuff. Let's not go out. Let's have half a bag of chicken nuggets and some dumplings. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, the quarter-life crisis is now officially recognised as much as the mid-life crisis. So that's cool. Just more crisis to add to the list.

Is this, are they sort of rebranding the millennial burnout? You know, because there's been a lot of chat about that. Yeah, I guess so. It's got a lot of common traits between millennial burnout and the quarter-life crisis. Run yourself so far into the ground, you're like, what am I doing? These psychologists are saying that young adulthood is more challenging now than ever,

especially when it comes to making choices. This hyper-connected world we live in makes you second-guess yourself, and there's so many options now that... So many options now. So we're having a crisis because we've got options in front of us. We've got too many choices. Yeah, yeah. But no, this is true.

You think about if you don't have a choice of what's for dinner, you'll eat what's in front of you. But if you have to decide and you're in a slightly indecisive mood, you've been making decisions all day. You've got decision exhaustion. That's a term I would like to coin. Decision exhaustion. Decision exhaustion.

Okay, here's my goal. We start like this. We write up some fake report citing like made up people. Yeah, great. We talk about a new problem affecting people under 40. It's called decision exhaustion. And I bet we can get it in the paper. Absolutely.

I bet we can get it in the New York Times. I bet that we can get it in some sort of journal. Journalists will print it. Yeah. Without looking too much into it because decision exhaustion just sounds like eat it up and then old people will be like

they're acting like we didn't have decisions back in the day and it's just exactly one of those perfect stories that will ram a big division between the age brackets What's your demographic for decision exhaustion? For the decision exhausted.

Under 40 are really focusing on that 25 to 35 age bracket. They've had to make decisions like never before. They are facing

every day 40% more decisions than their parents face at their age. Wow. This is all made up. This is all made up. You guys are just

cats in a bowl lapping up this bullshit. I believe that. I know you did. is all made up. You guys are just cats in a bowl lapping up this bullshit. I believe that. I know you did. I can hear it. You're like, oh, it's genuine. Oh, I've literally

just put a note to discuss with my therapist. I think I might have decision exhaustion. Decision exhaustion. Discuss it with your therapist. Help me. I've self-diagnosed myself.

I've got decision exhaustion. Yeah. Dr. Vaughan Smith of the West Auckland Institute of Psychology. I don't know if you can just call yourself that. Yeah, you can. I did it on my flybys card. They let you choose your title, I said, Dr. Dr. Vaughan Smith of the West Auckland Institute of Psychology. I don't know if you can just call yourself that. Yeah, you can. I did it on my flybys card.

They let you choose your title. I said Dr. Hay, Dr. Brown. It's a bit different. West Auckland Institute of Psychology, or WIAP as we call it. WIAP. Says that decision exhaustion is something that affects. What do they say is quarter life now? Because when I think quarter life.

This is the standard quarter life, they're like 18 to 25. Yeah. Because I always think quarter life is 25. Yeah, but that means you live into 120.

I mean, but 25-year-olds might live to 120. 25 is a quarter of 100, not 120. Oh, I was talking about five. That's 125. Yeah, okay. Great, I was talking about five. That's 125. Yeah, okay.

Great, that wasn't five. That was terrible, Max. That was terrible, Max. Right in front of our eyes. Yeah, that was awful, wasn't it? I'm just trying to think of, because I'm 32, that's seven years ago. I'm not sure that I experienced a quarter-life crisis. I feel like I was thriving.

45, 26, fantastic years for me. Will you be due a midlife soon? You've skipped a quarter, you're going straight to mid. I beg your pardon? Says the man in his 40s? Both of you? Yeah, Fletcher's past his midlife. But if I die at 60, what would my, yeah, I'm just.

You're a three-quarter life crisis. I'm a three-quarter life, yeah. Oh, you wait when millennials start hitting that three-quarter mark. It'll be a thing. We'll be like, guys, we had it tough, okay? We were there when the internet was born. You know, we lost Princess Diana and then 9-11 and then Iraq invasion and then. And then we had a World War III in about 2022.

We went through 18 financial crises. You know, we had it really tough. We never really got our rebuilding period like the boomers did after World War II. So this generation, it's not a quarter life or a half life crisis. It's an ongoing crisis. It's just their life is a crisis. Life crisis. Great.

It's a life crisis. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Oh, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Oh, hey. Joan Travolta, movie star, has announced on his Instagram account that he can now pilot a Boeing 737. Where would you take a 737?

I'm in the sky. No, but like, you know, like, no, a 707. Yeah, there's a 707 and a 747. He can do both those. That's a licence he's previously had. Although you have to keep up. You can't just get the licence once and it lasts for 15 years, no questions. Like a driver's licence.

Yeah, all the time you're testing. You have a crash when you're 85. So this, I don't know, this, he started flying planes when he was 15 years old. And in 1978, he received his first pilot licence. He's owned several aircraft since then including an ex-Quantus Boeing 707-138B. I don't know what that is but you can see a picture of that.

That's the one that he's got. If you Google, that's the one parked at his mansion that looks like an airport. You should Google it too because it's a very funny looking house. It looks like a terminal. What do you call a plane's paint scheme? There's a word for it. The library.

Look at you. That's the one. How do you know this? He's a plane nerd. He's a plane nerd. He's a plane nerd. Planes and trains. The Lord of the Rings library, the Hobbit livery,

was when they painted that Air New Zealand plane up. Yeah, the all black swan. Yeah. So celebrity friends reached out and congratulated them. Naomi Campbell, Tommy Lee from Motley Crue said, Atta boy, Captain. And yeah, he can fly a 737 now. So I've got the top six signs that John Travolta is your pilot on your next flight.

Number six, the air conditioning on the plane is really cold because he's got chills and they're multiplying. You encourage this, Hayley. You encourage this, top six. Let's hope he doesn't lose control because the Boeing I'm piloting is exciting. Number five on the list of the top six signs John Travolta's your pilot. You have to wear a mask on board, not because of COVID-19,

but of the danger of catching Saturday night fever. Night fever. No, we can't sing for everyone. Night fever, night fever. You won't be able to sing for everyone Night fever Night fever You won't be able to sing for number four On the list of the top six songs John Travolta's your pilot On the Boeing 737

Now that he's got his licence The orange juice on the flight Is pulpy fiction Do you want your orange juice With or without pulpy fiction Look that one is a stretch I'll give you that Number three on the list in your orange juice with or without pulpy fiction. Look, that one is a stretch. I'll give you that.

Number three on the list of the top six songs John Travolta's your pilot. He sounds like John Travolta but he looks like Nicolas Cage. Yeah. No, that's right. That famous movie.

Yeah, Face Off. Face Off, yeah. But beside the 737 you're on with this pilot that looks like John Travolta, looks like Nicolas Cage, but sounds like John Travolta, is Christian Slater flying a stolen B-3 stealth bomber

with two live B-83 nuclear bombs? Broken Arrow! That is a two for one John Travolta action movie reference. Very good. Number two on the list of the top six signs John Travolta is your pilot. When he's introducing his co-pilot, Adina Menzel, he will say,

and this is your co-pilot, Adele Dazeem. That was embarrassing. It is one of my all-time favourites. Next up, the wickedly talented Adele Dazeem. And number one on the list of the top six signs, John Travolta The wickedly talented. The little mother's aim.

And number one on the list of the top six signs. John Travolta is your pilot on the next 737 you're on. You'll get there really fast because the plane is like, a grease the lightning. You take some. That's the sound the plane makes when it takes off too. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaking of exciting, guys, it's a new fashion trend

and I'm not on board despite I've got an excellent tush, but it's tush-related. Okay. So, obviously, like, cleavage has always been a thing. Cleavage is, you know, it goes through sort of waves of being in and out of fashion. Do you remember heavage? What's heavage?

It was dude cleavage. It was when there was that real, what are we talking like, 2012? The big V. Yeah, the plunging necklines. The plunging Vs. Do you remember plunging Vs? Very Ibiza. Very Ibiza.

Very Ibiza. Very Rhythm and Vines. And then, of course, there was the underboob. You know, we'd have a crop top that sort of sat, and you'd be able to see the roundness of the under boob. Exquisite. Exquisite. You tried to do a quiet chef's kiss everyone but I'll absolutely just MR that. The physics, I was

a huge fan of the physics. Yeah but the physics only worked for certain breasts. Exactly. To be under. Sort of a breast scientist if you will. I've got to say that one was not for me. Well now there's a new trend. It's called butt cleavage.

And butt cleavage is where you have, like, some pants or an outfit that either, so it's the same with boob cleavage, upper, down the middle, or underneath. You can have it for the butt. So there's two styles. The most popular, I'll say, because it's done, it's Savage X Fenty.

Oh yeah, Rihanna. Rihanna. Which is like some leggings, but at the top of the butt crack, it's cut out, so you can see the butt crack. Okay. So butt cleavage.

And then there's another woman who has a dress that sort of cut, has a whole cut, and it covers the crack, but then you've got the under bum showing and the top of the thigh and then you carry on. This undercarriage situation. Yeah, a little bit.

How would you not see right through? Yeah. You're at real risk of vaginal explosion. I mean explosion. Vaginal explosion. I mean explosion. Vaginal explosion. Not explosions. Not explosions. So you wear underpants, I assume.

Or like a G. No, you couldn't. You couldn't. You might be able to wear a G for the under one, but for these fenty cleavage ones, you're going commando. She's just having a laugh. People can't wear half the stuff she makes. But they buy it.

But they buy it. She's making, she's a billionaire, right? She's about to, I think she's about to float the company and make, yeah, like it's valued at a couple of billion. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can sort of see where it's come from, but you might have a bit of fluff in there.

I couldn't do a top cleavage because I've got a crooked tailbone at the top of my ass. Oh, right. Yeah, a little, like, dent there that I'm a little bit insecure about, so I don't feel like I could do the top. And then, of course, at the bottom, the balls are a huge issue. I will say currently, just to clarify, this is a female-skewed fashion. Ah, okay.

Well, I won't have that. You're doing renovations, Hayley. You're about to embark on months-long renovations. Yes. You're about to see a lot of butt cleavage because old mates, plumbers and builders, they love a bit of butt cleavage. We haven't even started, but I've already seen. People come in to have a little scout around.

I was like, there it is. There it is. Yeah, plumbers famously have been doing this trend well before it was popular. Yeah, I know. But now they've just added a bit of flair, you know, so you can really get a good sort of peek at the butt cheek. If you're out there and you're a plumber and you've been doing the old top cleavage for a while,

why not try something different and go for the under cleavage? Yeah, absolutely. When you run to the sink there, someone can see the bottom curves of the butt. Or embrace it and get yourself a pair of Savage X Fenty purple lilac butt cleavage leggings. Absolutely. And I tell you what, I'll pay you more. We ask people butt cleavage yes or no, only 15% of people said yes.

What's wrong with you? What's wrong? Don't you guys like butts? To put that in perspective, 15% of people are still 109 votes for yes. Okay. And for me, the saying in our family, less hooey, more doey, I want to see them walk the walk. Oh, so you're saying, no, because I voted yes, but not for my own butt,

but I'm just pro butt. As a pest. As a pest. Speaking for the pest community. You want to see some more butt, but I'm just pro butt. As a pissed. As a pissed. Speaking for the pissed community. You want to see some more butt, Cleve? You're a butt man. I'm a butt man. Let's find Hayley's silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Well, we talked about it between ourselves yesterday. It was ferocious debate.

When's the right time to add the flavour to the instant noodles? Yes. Do you do it in the water or after the water on the noodles? Yeah, so after you drain the water or boil it off. Drain the excess. No one's boiling it off, Brandy. No one's boiling it off. How much time?

Two-minute noodles. I got home and I said to Sade, you're never going to believe this. Fletch boils the water off the noodles, and she's like, the noodles would be slop. They would be. Oh, no, the noodles go so soggy and nice, and they go, like, really cooked.

That's what slop is. That's slop. Soggy is another word for slop. I don't want a hard noodle. I don't want a hard noodle. Yuck. You don't want a hard noodle, but you want a noodle with enough sort of body to it that you can get it going. No, you can just shoot it down in there.

No, you get that and it's all cooked in the flavours. It's delicious. It's yum. No. You're wrong. So when do you add the noodle flavour sachet, add to the water 36%. So just over a third,

whereas two thirds of people add after draining the water. So you get more flavour. If you add to the water and then you pour out the water, you're pouring out the flavour. You're pouring goodness down the sink. It's delicious, NSG. I don't think they're pouring it down the sink. I think they're like me.

They're boiling it off. So the flavour's still there. No, it's boiling off two-minute noodles. Do you know how long it takes to boil off all that water? More than two minutes. Half an hour. It doesn't take that long. You're boiling off a tonne of water.

It takes a long time. Well, producer Jared said he does a soup. Yeah, well, Jared, I like something that will do that. That's yuck. Jared. Leaving the water in. Well, you Jared said he does a soup. He does a soup. That's yuck. Jared. Leaving the water in. Well, you're boiling the water off. Hang on. So, Fletch is coming for you. So, you make more of a luxe situation. Yes, I use the

I can't remember the name, but it's like a black and red ramen. And it's like you're supposed to have a soup with it. Yes. So, then when I finish the noodle, I can salt the bowl. Ramen you're supposed to have a soup with. Yes Yes. So then when I finish the noodle, I can soak the bowl. Ramen you're supposed to have soup with. Yeah. But normal sort of like your two-minute noodles. Would you keep the water if you went for a two-minute noodle sitch?

I don't know. I don't like them. No, that's fair. He's out of the game. He's withdrawn from the competition. He's really ejected out of that, didn't he? He has. June messaged in saying it's stronger flavour adding after the water's been drained.

You're getting more flavour. It's a stronger flavour, and some people don't like that stronger flavour. Okay. Rhiannon said, what monsters drain the water? It's like free broth with your noodles. Yeah. Now, if you had broth,

and you were like, I'm going to cook my two-minute noodles in broth, then, of course, you're drinking the broth. You're keeping the broth, baby. If you make like a Maggi broth, a two minute noodle style broth, I think you should still keep it because you could put that into a pasta sauce or something else. It just adds flavour.

And all of the extra resources of the country are going to war. So, I mean, it's hard times. Welcome to 1937. We're with a war effort in full swing. We've got to keep the water that we've boiled our noodles in. Absolutely. That could be tomorrow's lunch is two-minute noodle drop.

Do you know what I just Googled? Two-minute noodle slow cooker recipes. There are so many. What? So many. There are so many recipes. But where the noodles would be part of a bigger dish. Yeah, yeah, they are.

So you add in veggies. Yes, my mum used to make, like, chow mein with mince, like beef mince. Slow cooked. Oh, yum. No, not slow cooked, but just with two-minute noodles. Oh, yeah, use the noodles. That was good, man. Yeah, that would be good.

I used to do a two-minute noodle omelette when I was at high school. That was a go-to dish. Yeah. It was delicious. Well, I guess it's kind of like egg fried noodles. Yeah, it is. But you're more egg than noodle. You've changed up the balance of power.

Protein, high in protein. Yeah, it is. It's a dirty bulk. It's a big dirty bulk. Morgan says, would you add pasta sauce before draining the water? No, you wouldn't. Stop being silly. Oh, good call, actually.

Good call. But that's mixing cultures there. She's demanding the Italian take. And you don't eat pasta on its own because then you add the pasta to some kind of sauce. Yeah. Not a flavour sachet. Yeah.

Cheyenne says, after draining the water so you're not wasting the flavour mixture. Exactly. Couldn't agree more. Angela said, I like to tip out most of the water, then add the flavour sachet,

mix it all up, then tip out the water because otherwise it's too salt. Too much. This is madness. Too salty, right. You've made two minute noodles, a whole multi-stage recipe there. Yeah.

Tasha said, I know it's too late, but I feel so passionate about this as I need to change my poll answer. She's accidentally clicked. She accidentally clicked after draining the water. I want to season the water All the way Okay

So I would just like to On record as changing vote Okay Tasha We'll change your vote No judge It's noted We'll add it to the electoral roll It's a lot of effort

To change that vote But we'll do it Yeah honestly Louise Who by the way Her Instagram handle is Chef Louise Evans Oh

Okay She said I don't even drain the water Yeah she said Who, by the way, her Instagram handle is Chef Louise Evans. Oh, okay. She said, I don't even drain the water. Yeah, she's a full soup. Yeah, yeah, she's going for the full ramen approach. And Alana said, you add the flavor after you drain the water. Otherwise, what are you, just pouring flavor down the sink willy-nilly? That's the biggest conundrum, isn't it? Why are you pouring flavor down the sink? Otherwise, what are you, just pouring flavour down the sink willy-nilly? That's the biggest conundrum, isn't it? Why are you pouring flavour down the sink?

Yeah, the waste. That MSG, that delicious, that delicious little sachet of MSG. You could do so much with that. A gravy, you could add it to a gravy, it would stop. It would really, yeah, it would set off a gravy.

So an overwhelming add the flavour after. Yeah. Otherwise, you're draining it. Unless, of course, you're saving it for a broth or a gravy or a... Indeed. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We are going to talk to producer Jared now.

He had a little quandary before this show. And we're like, well, you've come to the right place. Let's talk about it in front of the nation. Is he going to get in trouble for raising this? With the midi? Oh, I don't know. I don't think so because it wasn't like

it was just a discussion. He's like, what would you guys do or say? So let's do the producers booth we go. Kia ora, good morning. Morning. How are we? Good.

Oh, top notch. Top bloody notch. So what happened last night? So the midi has a friend who works in nursing but has now switched to like the beauty side of nursing. Cosmetic nursing. Do you know what?

Don't blame her. Yeah. Nurses aren't paid enough. Nurses' working conditions aren't, like, you know, great. They've had a hell of a time of late. They've been dealing with some rather abusive people. And if you go to, like, a cosmetic clinic these days, oh, they're lush carpeted and, like, glorious.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Less sponge bathing too. Way less sponge bathing. Sponge bathing. I always get, when I go for my, you know,

laser hair removal, I always get them to give me a quick sponge bath. Bit of a mop up. Oh, yeah, they have to see some hairy buttholes,

don't they? Yeah, there's a few more buttholes probably. Okay, so there is a downside. Yeah. With the bits.

So she's switched to cosmetic nursing. Yep. And because she's new there, I think she needs to practice on people. So she flicked the midi a message, which then led to the midi asking me, do I think she would benefit from lip fillers? So this friend of hers is like, I can get you free lip fillers. Yeah. But also, you said the word practice. To me, that's like...

She comes and she's like, just a little bit. This works out quite well. What happened? How much are lip fillers normally? Pricey. I don't know. Is it one of those things you get done once and then they wear off?

Yeah, they disintegrate over time. What, your lips? The filler. Right. But then you look like a deflated balloon. You know how a balloon looks nice when you get it out of the pack, but when you blow it up and it goes down, it looks a bit floppy. This website that I just went to very quickly is around $500.

For lip fillers. Oh, wow. And then so how long would that last? Oh, a few months until they slowly, very gradually melt away, basically. And then you would go and get some more. Is she entitled to free ones for life or are they going to do it once and then...

Because once you get big lips, you never go back. Yeah, because I was the same with heroin. They let me have the first one for free. Yeah, right. And then I found, yeah, I found I was spending... No, I the same with heroin. They let me have the first one for free. Yeah, right. And then I found, yeah, I found I was spending on, no, I've never done heroin. Just to clarify there. But, you know, the first one free,

that's a classic way to get people into something. Yeah. Yeah, that part didn't come up. I'm not super knowledgeable. It's less about the financial thing though, isn't it? And more about her questioning whether or not you think they would look good. Yeah. And she mentioned it a couple of times.

Did it feel like a trap? It feels like a trap. It feels like a trap. It's a trap. I was very cautious. I told her, no, you're a total stunner. I don't think you need it. Yeah.

Am I a dick? No, because she asked your opinion. If you'd just been talking about it and you'd like laid a stake or claim to her body and what she can do with it, then yes. But if she asked, like, do you think I need them or do you think I would benefit from them? And you said no, then no, because she asked.

Unless it was a trap. The next question would be, the question was, do you think I would benefit from them? For which you said, no, because she asked. The next question would be, the question was, do you think I would benefit from them? For which you said, no, you've got lovely lips. You don't need to do that. But the next question would be her saying, oh, I want to get them. And then

it would be whether or not you then say no, don't, or okay, I would rather you didn't. I said the second one when that part came up. Oh right, so that part did come up. So she was making noises

that maybe she wanted to give it a little go. Yeah, give it a red hot go. And it's not your cup of tea. I mean, it's free though, isn't it? It's free. This one is... But it's not about the money though. I think the quandary, the conundrum, is about

aesthetic taste, isn't it? Yeah, but if she came home and had just done it, I'd be like, oh, okay, that's cool. I will warn you as someone who, I've got a lot of friends who have had lip fillers, when you first get, I've never had them myself,

when you first get them, they're very swollen. And so they do look like Hollywood duck lips. How long for? Like a couple of days. Because you put all these injections in, and then they settle in, and then they're the size. So when you see it the first time, you're like, you've put way too much in.

What have you done? They can do them very elegantly these days. It doesn't have to be what we imagine when you think of lip fillers. I just think of the Kardashians. You think of big Hollywood duck lips. Yeah, Kardashians. When you turn on the side and it's like a shelf. Yeah.

But they can just do a tiny little amount. Yeah, but the friend's also training. They might put in the wrong amount. I know. I know there's no guarantee. I mean, to be fair, I mean, her body, her choice, but absolutely. Aaron would say to me, like, no, don't do that. Yeah, that's silly. That's not his cup of tea. So where was it left?

It's still floating, I think. Was it on radio? Did she ever mention? Not before. Oh, not to me, at least, not before the friend changed careers. Please do tell her that. I mean,

we've hung out with her a number of times at this point. I've never said, gosh, she's got particularly thin lips. No,

she's a babe, so. She's an absolute babe. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I don't want to speak out of it.

Stumbling, stumbling through this. I can say, I can't say, I've spent a lot of time looking at her lips. I've cast an eye across the face as a whole. I don't think the lips are lovely. The weak point of the face is lovely.

But not too lovely. It's not like I don't want to put my face on her face. I think her face is lovely. The face is lovely. Or your spiraling. Or your hip to the spiraling. The whole, top to bottom she's beautiful. Why are you looking at the bottom?

I'm not looking at the bottom. You're so dead. I'm taking her there. You said you were taking her there. She was far enough away. I looked and saw the whole body. I wasn't like right up close. Oh, you're in a hole, mate.

You're in a hole. Lovely lips. You can't come out. Lovely mouth. You can't come out of this. We're going to see if we can make some connections here. We were talking the other day about the fact that with Omicron and everything that's been going on,

a lot of people have just been sort of shutting up, you know, staying home. Getting into new hobbies. Getting into new hobbies. While they're in their home, they're like, what am I going to do to pass, you know, staying home. Getting into new hobbies? Getting into new hobbies. While they're in their home, they're like, what am I going to do to pass the time? Absolutely. And they get into new hobbies. For example, I have a friend who lives in Wellington

and she has recently gotten into the art of papier-mâché. When you said this, I was like, this is what kids do when they have to do a project. It's not an actual art. She makes amazing things, like incredible sculptures. Not just like you blow up a balloon and then you slap some glue and newspaper on it.

You've always got to baste your balloon. Always baste your balloon. Otherwise when you pop it, it won't come out. You've got to tear it apart. We did that at school and then you put the little

egg carton things on the bottom and one for a snout and made a pig. Yeah! There you go. She's sort of more doing, you know, like, what would you call it?

Avant-garde art stuff. Okay, it just sounds like you're belittling my Mesh AP. I'm just saying. It sounded like it. Are we going to see it in the Te Papa? Probably not. What is that? What is she aiming for?

A gallery display? Just, I wanted a new hobby. Right. Like, rather than just, like, work, go home because Omicron's everywhere and I can't go out. Work, go home because Omicron's everywhere. Someone can't go out. Work, go home because Omicron's everywhere. Somebody thought you'd carving or sculpture or – This is sculpture.

This is sculpture. Not ripped up newspapers. How dare you? She will not stand for this. Does she use ripped up newspapers? Yeah, that's how you do it. And then you cover it with, like – She might have bought blank newsprint.

But then you cover it with, like, a blank, you know, like, butcher's paper on top and then you can paint it. It's a whole thing. How does she get a smooth surface? Is that the art? That's the art, but she's new. Yeah. It's about shit.

I'm picturing something that's about shit. Does she have chicken wire? Yeah, you could have chicken wire. How do you frame the sculpture? She's got a nice pair of pliers to cut through the chicken wire. Yeah, yeah, she's doing her absolute best. Oh, she's really gone. But she did say, I mean, as you can see, I'm trying to support her,

but she was saying that like – I, for the record, will not support any of my friends if they move into papier-mâché. I won't. She was saying she struggles because, like, no one's interested in it. So she just kind of does it on her own. And because we're not going out – I mean, I don't know where you go out to meet fellow papier-mâchiers.

But she's got no one to share this hobby with. And it got us thinking, there's lots of hobbies that people are like, how do I connect with people over this? You mentioned D&D. Well, yeah, I wasn't into it. And I guess it was over lockdown. Producer Jared talked about it. I'd always been interested in it.

And every time I put up something on Instagram of like a Dungeons and Dragons thing, people are like, I've always wanted to play, but I don't have anyone to play with. Yeah. I'm like, suck it. I'm like ha ha suck it loser I ring them I call them

to belittle them about having no friends no I'm like oh man just try your best I mean as much as I that's so inspirational

it's really you're the new Gandhi really thank you see I'm lucky Mahatma or his granddaughter that became Prime Minister? That one, yeah. She was assassinated.

I don't know if I want to be assassinated. Oh, dear. I would make a great leader of India, though, if I can put my hat in the ring. Of course you would, Vaughan Smith. Yeah. Anyway, but I mean... I love your bread!

That would be my opening campaign slogan. Now, see, I'm very lucky because, I mean... I love your bread! That's what would be my opening... That's it. Can't slow you. Now, see, I'm very lucky because, I mean, it's a sport, but it is my hobby, marching, but I have a community of marching girls. You couldn't do it by yourself. Couldn't do it by yourself.

You'd look crazy. It's silly. It's all about making patterns. You can't make a pattern on your own, just moving your arms around. You'd look crazy. But, you know, it's a great pleasure. I had all the marching girls over at my house the other day,

and, you know, we just talk marching, and it's so fulfilling. So we wanted to put it to our listeners. Do you have a strange hobby that you really want to meet someone else who does this hobby and connect with them? Make some connections. We're looking to make some connections as well. We're looking to make some connections. Okay.

Yeah, but what if you've got a whole, like, model train set up in your garage? I'll come and have with them. Make some connections. We're looking to make some connections as well. We're looking to make some connections. Okay. Yeah, but what if you've got a whole, like, model train set up in your garage? I'll come and have a look. Yeah, but that's not a connection. Are you talking about meeting someone as in, like, for a relationship? No, I don't believe that's what we're talking about. We're talking about just finding someone with a common ground, a common interest. A common ground.

I think so. Like a, it could be a platonic relationship. Someone to talk to while you're paper mache-ing. Or it could be romantic. Okay. Who knows when you're both. I imagine if it got frisky in the road putting your train tracks. Oh my God, you paper mache each other's bits.

Yeah. Take a bowl of corn. Vaseline up and paper mache. Always vas the balloon. Always vas the balloon. Be careful with the chicken wire around there. I wouldn't use chicken wire. You've got to absolutely. I'd use the structural integrity of the genitals. All right. balloon. Be careful with the chicken wire around there. I wouldn't use chicken wire. You've got to absolutely.

I'd use the structural integrity of the genitals. All right. Okay, well, give us a call. 0800-DIALS-IT-M is the number. You can text 9696. We're on the lookout this morning. We want to find people that have hobbies that they want to connect to other people with.

Yes, and maybe it's not an easy hobby. You know, if you're saying netball, I'll say, well, you can do this on your own. You've got netball clubs. You're going into the local club. Hundreds of netball clubs. But something really particular or unique or obscure that you find it hard to find others that are into the same thing.

We want to know about those unusual hobbies you have that you maybe want to start connecting with people over. Yeah, we're trying to create some connections on common ground with things that might be hard to find others that are into these things. Yeah, maybe you just picked it up recently and you're not aware of any clubs you've had a look. Maybe the old club that used to do what you're into shut down. Maybe.

Due to lack of interest. So we're going to try to make some connections, find out what you're into. down. Maybe. Due to lack of interest. So we're going to try to make some connections, find out what you're into. Kat, good morning. Kia ora, good morning. Kia ora. What's your strange hobby? I go sunrise and sunset hunting,

as in searching for the sunrise and sunset. I reckon east and the morning, west and night. East and west would probably be. That is correct. That's where I go to. Wait, so you're trying to find, like, beautiful spots to watch the sun come up? That is correct.

How far do you travel? I try not to go too far. It just depends on what I want to do for the day as well. So if I take my bike with me or take my paddleboard, then I'll go a bit further. But today I'm in Port Chalmers and I'm looking over at the beautiful cloud. Oh, that's the downs, right? There'll be some beautiful mornings,

but you're not going to get it every morning. So is it hard to meet? I don't mind doing it when it's overcast and stuff because it's still really peaceful. And I've got a cup of tea. Oh, my God. Do you take a thermos? Do you take a thermos? Do you take a thermos?

Yep, yep. Oh, lovely. And if other people come with me, I'll make sure that they've got plenty as well. Sorry, is that? I barely ever get somebody to come with me. Lots of people say, yeah, I'm keen, I'm keen. And then when I say,

are you going to have to get up at 4.35 o'clock in the morning, especially during the summer? They're like, no, absolutely not. No, they bail. We've got your details. And if you're hearing, whereabouts in the country are you? I'm in Dunedin, but I'm a travelling soul, so always. Happy to travel.

If you're listening and you're thinking, oh, maybe I want to connect with Kat, I mean, text us. Unless you're a psycho. Please, no psychos, because that's on us, and I don't want to deal with the fallout of that. No psychos for Kat. Kat, thank you. We'll see if we can find you a connection.

Keep your texts coming in, 9696. Send Kat a taser as well, I think. Just because, like, psychos, famously, psychos are pretty good at coming across not psycho. Yeah. Okay, so we'll send Kat out of taser as well. We're wanting to find people that have strange hobbies that they struggle to find other people that are into them.

We heard about sunset and sunrise hunting. Of course, there's D&D. My friend loves papier-mâché. I really like you giving the papier the French feel. The French twist there. Really flashing it up. Absolutely. We've got Ellie on the phone. Ellie, what's your strange hobby?

I have started doing cross-stitch and embroidery since lockdown last year. I got into cross-stitch when I was at university. It's so much fun. It's relaxing? It's so fun. Did you just saw Nick? Yeah, it's very relaxing. You saw Nick?

Yes. And I had like tennis elbow from it. Oh. It's relaxing. It's so fun. Did you just saw Nick? Yeah, it's very relaxing. You saw Nick? Yes. And I had like tennis elbow from it. Oh. Oh, wow. You're real deep into it. Tennis elbow without playing tennis. I think it's just called cross-stitch elbow. It's just called elbow.

Yeah, just elbow. And do you do, because there was a bit of a trend a while back of like rude cross-stitch, like people doing cute cross-stitches but with like absolute terrible smutty language. Yes. I've not got into that, no. I started making them for my nephew when he was born so they've been very sexy. Surely there'd be, would there be a big online

community in New Zealand though, like a Facebook page? There's a lot but everyone that I've found so far is in Australia. Concentration-wise, could you be affording to be chatting to him in depth? I just think you would just want

to sit in the room and like share the craft that you're working on. Maybe not talk to each other, but just be there. Yeah. Sit in absolute silence. Yeah.

Okay. A silent group. Well, good luck. I hope you find someone to cross-stitch with. Thank you. Brendan's called. Brendan,

what's your unusual hobby? Speed tubing. So solving the Rubik's Cube and all kinds of different twisty puzzles and stuff as fast as I can for fun, I suppose. What's your best time on a randomly jumbled up Rubik's? The original one, just under 15 seconds is my fastest so far.

Wow. I don't think I've ever done one. No. I can't even follow the instructions on the internet that tell you how to do it. I get the top two rows and the bottom one

and I'm just like, I can't do this. Yeah, they're so intimidating when you first pick them up and I actually just bought a wee two by two for my son in a secondhand shop for 50 cents

and was like I'll solve it for him when he can't and I couldn't and so I had to figure out how to solve it and that took me a few days and then decided to go from that to the three by three and just kind of got into it from there so anybody can pick it up but yeah there's quite a big community in Dunedin

and Christchurch but I haven't found anyone down here in Southland yet. Wow. Hopefully someone out there listening is into the puzzle. Is going to text in and say, I'm a speedcuber. Yeah, hook me up with Brendan. Then you could race each other. Three by three.

Yeah. I think that's what you'd do. Yeah, race. You'd race. Just race each other. Brendan, thanks. You called some messages in. I'm into the art of bondage.

Not the sexual side, but the art side, where people have competitions of creativity, style, and patterns. I can make a moon and a star and a chest harness with rope. Oh, yeah. That sounds like rope craft. So it's like rope art. Yeah, using the human body as a sort of a canvas. How fascinating.

They'd love those little towel sculptures that they do in hotels in Thailand. Oh, yeah, the little swan. I reckon they'd be unimpressed with some of the... Oh, you reckon? Swan wouldn't really impress them. Maybe the monkey. The monkey always impresses me. They always have a folded towel like a monkey.

If your hobbies and all plants come to Plant Fest on April 10th, somebody said, Plant Fest is at home. Feels like weed. I'm a big plant girl. Is it weed? Feels like it's got a weedy feel to it. Could be. Let me clarify because I don't want to turn up there and then realise I'm in a criminal event and I'm looking for a hoya.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I better can guess your mum's name. All right. So how it works is I ask you five questions about your mum. And then while I ask the questions after every question, I'll give you a little behind the scenes. I think of people I know that are mothers that would fit in some way.

Now, then I just write this big list and then I rattle them off over 15 seconds to try to get it. Sometimes it just comes to you though. Sometimes a name has a vibe. Yeah. And you'll get a vibe check and be like, that's gone on the list. That's gone on the list. Yeah, totally. Or it's just the case that most mums

in New Zealand of a certain age are named one of 20 names. A lot of Jones. Joan? I don't think we've ever had a Joan. No, I don't think we've ever had a Joan. Is it going on the list? Put it on the list.

Put it on the list. I'm going to go for a pre-question Joan or I'm going to go for a pre-question Karen. Imagine if I just got Joan in one go. Yeah. That would be hot. If it's Joan, that was all you today. Who have we got?

Caitlin, good morning. Morning. Good morning. Are you ready to play a bit? I can guess your mum's name. Yes, I am ready to go. Okay, I'm just going to vibe check. She does seem ready to go.

Caitlin, he was vibe checking you just then. Question number one. What is, like, how old is mum? Mum is, she turned 50 this year. Oh, okay. 50. She turned 50. So what does that make her?

1972. Great vintage for mums. As young mums, though. Young mum? Well, not, not. Anyway. Okay, so she's 1972. So if you think back to your Paulers.

Your Paula. Oh, yeah. Remember, if I say your mum's name, don't tell us. Yeah. Because we had that one time where I hadn't even got to the guessing part and I got the mum's name and she screamed out, that's my mum's name. I was like, not yet.

She was a new listener, though. She hadn't heard the game. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go for a Wendy. Don't forget a Karen because that's just mum's name. I was like, no, not yet. She was a new listener, though. She hadn't heard the game. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go for a Wendy. Don't forget a Karen because that's... I know, I put a Karen on. I put a Karen on with a Joan pre...

Okay, good. I might go for a Jackie or like a Jacqueline. Yeah, Jackie's great. That's a real... What about a Jane? Huh? Mum, you know, what about a Jane? Mum a Jane.

Jane, well, yeah, well, the Caitlin we know. Because we know Caitlin, yeah. Her mum is a Jane, isn't she? Yes, I put that down. I'm going to put down, I'm also going to put down a Helen. Have you talked to the accountant lately, Fletch, by the way? It's just the end of the stats here is coming up. Yeah, it's coming up.

Yeah, I had a chat to Helen the other day. God, she's a pleasure, isn't she? She's lovely. Yeah, Helen loves her movies. Put Helen down. She is. She's always talking about film fests. Yeah, she loves a film fest.

That's one of the things we always talk about, the film fest. God bless her. And Helen down. She is. She's always talking about film fests. Yeah, she loves a film fest. We always talk about the film fest. God bless her. And, um... Okay. Alright, next question. Does mum have a chair? Like, does mum have a chair that's mum's chair? Uh, she's got like a spot

on the couch, if that counts. Describe this spot to me. Yeah, that counts. Describe this spot to me. It's just a normal three-seater couch, but it's like Describe this spot to me. Yeah, that counts. Describe this spot to me. It's just a normal three-seater couch, but it's like the perfect positioning for the TV, so no one else is allowed to sit there. Three-person couch.

I'm standing in front of the couch. I'm blocking the TV. I'm looking at mum sitting on the couch. Is it on the left or is it on the right? Far left. Far left. So she's nestled in. She's got a little arm rest there.

She's in the left, so she's got her right arm on the thing. So she's nestled in. She's got a little arm rest there. She's in the left. So she's got a right arm on the thing. Right arm's holding the remote. The remote sits on the... Yep. Has she got a recliner or a little ottoman or a poof? She's got a little ottoman. Yeah. Can you describe the ottoman?

It's brown and it's got like knitting stuff in it. Oh, so it opens. It's a storage ottoman. I got the knitting for free. The knitting's so it opens. It's a storage ottoman. I got the knitting for free. The knitting's a free thing. The knitting's a free thing. You gave that up. You gave that up.

So I'm going to put a Malisa and I'm going to put a Malanny. A Malanny. Okay, a Malanny. Which sounds weird when you say it like that, but that Melanie. I'm also going to put a Rochelle because I think she's like,

that's a young girl. I think you're going too young. I think you're going too young. Yeah, I think you need to put a Rochelle because I think she's like that's a young I think you're going too young I think you're going too young Yeah I think you need to age it up 50 Can we put a Jean in there? A Jean? Yeah

A Jenny? Have you got a Jenny? I've got a lot of J names Okay It's probably because the name starts with J Barbara? Put a Barb's down Do you know a 50 year old Barbara?

I think Barbara's two. Barbara's a little two. Shona. What about a Shona or a Sharon? I'm going to put a Suzanne. I'm going to put a... What did you say? Shona or Sharon.

Sharon. But when I say Sharon, I want it to count for O-N and Y-N. Sort of crafty. Oh, absolutely. What about a Robin? A Robin would be crafty. Robin's a bit crafty there. Robin. Okay. What's a robin? A robin would be crafty. Robin's a bit crafty there. Robin.

Okay, what's mum's favourite guilty snack? She's nestled on the far side of the couch there. She's just put her knitting back in the ottoman. She's put her feet up on the ottoman. What's she going to be snacking on? What's she putting? Num, num, num, num, num, num. Go-to is cheese and crackers with homemade relish.

Oh, she's a crafty. She's knitting. I've got such an image of this woman. She's relishing. She's a maker. She uses her hands. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's sort of earthy. Maria? Oh, yeah, put a Marie down. I was thinking Maria. Do you think a Marie? Yeah, I think a Marie. Okay, Marie.

I'm going to go for like a Katrina. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, yeah. Now you're cooking Vaughan Smith. I feel I want to put Nadia. I'm getting a Nadia Lim. Maybe Nadia in... How old is Nadia Lim?

Late 30s, mid 30s? I hate to overly age Nadia Lim. She's too young. But what I'm saying is I can see Nadia Lynn becoming Nadine maybe. Nadine! Yes. I feel like this mother might have chickens. Do you know what I mean? You feel like there's a chicken?

But I don't have the power that you have. We don't know her sectional setting. No, no, no. Do I have an Elizabeth? I don't. I'm going to put it on because it might be Elizabeth by birth certificate but it's probably Liz. Lizzie. Yeah't. I'm going to put it on because it might be Elizabeth by birth certificate, but it's probably Lizzy. Yeah.

So I'm going to put Elizabeth. Or Beth. Beth. Yeah, real Beth Dutton vibes. I'm watching a lot of that show. That's a great show. You almost don't. All right, but what are mum's...

It's available on Neon. It is available on Neon. It's where I've been watching it in high definition. Keep listening for the secret sound. It's the $100,000 Thursday. What are mum's siblings' names? So she has a Sandra and

a Paul and a Lindsay and an Ellie. All the same vintage, aren't they? Is Ellie Alison? Ellie is in like Alistair in, like, Alistair. He's in Alistair. So it wouldn't be an Allison.

Okay, and what was the other name? There was another name that could have been either brother or sister. Lindsay is a brother. Lindsay's a brother. Lindsay Boy. Okay, I just know some people with those names. See, a Helen would fit in there nicely. A Helen would fit in there lovely.

But you can't do a Linda, because I doubt they would have done Linda and Lindsay. Yeah, they would have. Oh, you're actually dead right. I'm going to go back and find. I hadn't actually put Linda on the list. Linda's not on there. But I put a Leanne on the list.

What about a Ruth? A Ruth? I'll put a Ruth on. Put a Ruth down. Hey, we've gone prematurely to the guessing bit. I'm not guessing yet. Yeah, I'm just stopping that. My apologies. I didn't want that to be. That's right. Your brain's shrunk to the guessing bit. I'm not guessing yet. I know. Yeah, I'm just stopping that. My apologies. Yes, thank you.

I didn't want that to be. That's right. Your brain's shrunk from COVID. Yeah. These things are forgivable. I want to go over. Who's touching my, stop touch. Who's touching? No one's touching. No one's touching. Someone's touching. No one's touching. Ben, are you touching? Ben says no, he's not touching. Only when I say

you can touch, Ben. Naughty Ben. He's talking about the mouse. Jared's touching me. They're sharing custody of the mouse. Jared, stop touching me. Anna, can you give Jared a bit of a smack on the hand? No, that's illegal now. Oh, damn us. No smacking.

Anna, you're under arrest. I've got one more question. What does mum do for a job or has she done previously for a job? So she is a manager at ACC. Yes, she is. Can I speak to the manager? Yeah.

Especially with ACC. I'm not paying that much. Can I speak to the manager, please? Who's your manager? Like, manage it to the point where she gets to be like, I don't believe that's the case. Track them. Like, get a detective to bust them.

She jumps on your Facebook page and sees you at a party. She's like, you don't have that's the case. Track them. Like get a detective to bust them. She jumps on your Facebook page and sees you at a party. She's like, you don't have a broken leg. Yeah, boo. You can't work because you've got a back. Here you are carrying two bags of concrete. Are we sure it's not a Jules? Oh, a Jules. You've got Julie though, don't you?

I've got Joan, Jackie, Jane, Jean, Jenny. Jules. A lot of J's. A lot of J's. Julia and Julie. All right, I think I'm ready to go. A lot of Js. A lot of Js. Julia and Julie. All right, I think I'm ready to go. You feel good? Okay, all right.

Well, 15 seconds now to guess her mum's name, Vaughan. If you hear your mum's name, just say stop, that's my mum's name. All right, Vaughan, your time starts now. Joan, Karen, Paula, Wendy, Jackie, Jane, Helen, Leanne, Marie, Melissa, Melanie, Rochelle, Jean, Jenny, Susan, Sharon, Robin, Maria, Marie, Katrina, Nadine, Elizabeth, Beth, Vanessa, Kim, Ruth, Victoria, Sandra.

That's my mum's name. Which one? Vanessa. I was like five names past Vanessa when you called it. Vanessa. Oh my God, I didn't think you'd get it. Vanessa only got on the list because one of your mum's siblings' names is my friend Vanessa's siblings' name. Oh, no way.

What on earth? Vanessa. All right. Well, you've locked in $100 and you've triggered. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. One guess. Vanessa and...

Well, the Vanessa round, I was thinking of her husband's name is Peter. Yeah, I'm feeling like a Steve. A Peter Steve. Yeah, one of your real traditional... John. Barry. No, Barry's too old. Too old.

Too old. Baz. Chris. Oh, Chris. Yeah,'s off there. Baz. Chris. Oh, Chris. Yeah, that could be. Paul, Peter. It's got to be one of those names. Shane.

Shane. That's, yeah. Oh. Not you? What are you feeling? Not a Shane. Go back to the top of your list. What do I hate?

Who was that? Was Nick Lachey? Peter? Wayne? Vanessa Lachey. That's where I got Nick from. Vanessa and Nick Lachey. Lachachey? That's where I got Nick from. Vanessa and Nick Lachey. Lachey.

Remember them? Yes, I do. He was Nick. He was out of that boy band. Blind. No. 98 Degrees. Yeah, Shane sits well with me.

Shane sits very well with me. How are you feeling, Caitlin, have we already said it? No, you can't do that. No, you can't say that. You can't ask. No, no, no. All right, Vaughan, lock in a guess. What are you shaking your head at?

You don't want Shane. Hayley's poo-pooing Shane. But I don't have the spirit. I don't have the spirit. I'm feeling a Wayne. I'm feeling Wayne. You're going Wayne. I don't know why because you said, or a Steve.

Maybe a Steve. But the combination of Wayne and Steve is Shane. Because it's Vanessa, Steve. That last S sound rolls into the start of Steve. Vanessa, Steve. What about a Greg? Steve. Greg's.

Greg's not wrong, is it? Greg doesn't not. Yeah, Greg's not. I'm not anti-Greg. Greg and Vanessa. Vanessa and Greg very classy alright lock in a name

no I reckon I reckon you've you've because you you said you were hot on Steve at the start and you revisited Steve

and I was thinking Shane so I felt like S and then okay just ignore me you know what his brain shunk recovered

yeah don't listen to me is that what? His brain shunk recovered Yeah Don't listen to me Is that what you're saying? But maybe his long COVID Is guessing dad's names Oh yeah right We're about to bankrupt this company If that's the case

Yeah let's go Let's go Vanessa and Steve Steve on Fletcher's bet Okay What is your dad's name? My dad's name is Stephen Oh wait Oh come on

Caitlin Caitlin Are we having Steve? He goes by Steve Yes That's all we need Has COVID given me a skill? Has COVID done this?

Am I psychic? I don't know. Clearly. Wow, well, you've just won another $100. No, Anna's not happy. There's the absolute... Wait a minute. We're going to go to the producer's booth.

This is two different names, Your Honour. No, he goes by Steve. How does your dad spell Stephen? Without the N. No, S-T-E-P-H or S-T-E-V. Yeah, is it S-T-E-P-H? He spells it with a V. That's Steve. That's Steve. I would never call him Steve.

The Steve, I know a guy called Steve. Anna, open up the coin purse. His name's Steven, but everyone just calls him Steve. Give me strength. Well, this is, what a moment that was. That was great teamwork, guys. Bloody good. Anna's threatening me.

Oh, no, it's too late. We've paid it out. $200. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Yes, a double winner. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is a homegrown fact from here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Beautiful. And that was that in 2008 on the free council Wi-Fi for the town of Whakatane it was not possible to Google Whakatane because it set off the censor

for being able to search swear words. Even though it's spelt not like the F word. Correct. Huh. Correct. I saw this on Reddit last night. I said, I thought, this is too good to be true. Surely not.

Because it was just like a screen cap of a Wikipedia page. So I did some searching. Yeah, it turns out in 2008, they were using a Freenet website. You know when you travel around? Not so much anymore. But in fact, I don't even know. Maybe it still happens and we just haven't been travelling enough. But, you know, you'd go somewhere and it would be like,

you'd just open up to see if there was any Wi-Fi you could just scam your way on. Yes. It was like Auckland City, free Wi-Fi. And you'd connect to it and it wouldn't work and then you'd be like, oh, my details are definitely being plundered. Yeah, absolutely. My entire identity is being stolen by whoever set up this.

Ridiculous. Or you would log on and it would be like, yeah, you can have half an hour or one gig. All you've got to do is give us your email address. And your credit card details. I always use bobathotmail.com. Poor old Bob at Hotmail. I don't know who Bob is, but Bob gets everything. We're sorry, Bob.

Well, on the Freenet website that was set up for the North Island town of Whakatane, the Freenet would not let you search it because it had a whole lot of censorship rules on words that you could search

using Freenet because they don't want people looking up questionable material. Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. At the very low end of things. At the base level of it. Entry level dirty searches there. But no, they'd even taken into

account when people tried to get around searching by changing the spelling of words. Oh, okay. At the time, Whakatane District Council spokesperson Barry said the problem lay with the pronunciation where the

sounded like a f. Do you remember that billboard? Yes. From 10 years ago or over 10 years ago that was like Whakatane, Whakamaru, Whakamoa, a rental car to visit any WAKA and then it got removed. But it did its job

in the meantime. Everybody talked about it. It got talked about. What rental car company was it? Ace. How do you know that? Because I have an article in front of me Oh, you've Googled it. And it is fun It is fun

Australians particularly like the Wakatani You've Googled it. All right. Okay. And it is fun. It is fun. Like Australians particularly, like they're wakatani, wakatain. Yes, wakatain. Wakatain. Or wangamata. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or wakapapa. Yes. When you first tell them that the W-H in Te Reo has got a big F on it.

And then they have a lot of fun saying it. Oh, they do have a lot of fun. You know, really a great way to get people into an introduction to Tadeo. As a woman of Māori heritage, I have fun with it as well. Yeah. You know? That's a fun thing to say. It's fun to hit it.

As far as I remember when my kids were first, like, speaking and learning about curse words and stuff, and you'd drop a whakatane in there, they'd be like, What did you say? What did you say? Well, it was the case on the internet as well. Oh, no. Is that your? What is that? Your Well, it was the case on the internet as well. Oh, no. Is that your...

What is that? Your media alert bracelet? Granted, if you had a fall. That was you. That was me. That was you. I think they're doing fire alarm testing. Oh, fantastic.

Right. I thought you'd had a fall. Oh, no. I pressed my ear, my bracelet. My St. John's media alert. We'll rush down there now. But today's fact of the day is that in 2008, on the free public Wi-Fi in the New Zealand town of Whakatane,

you could not search Whakatane. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Intro to Good, Good, Bad, Good. Oh, yes, yeah. I think we should record this for the next Good, Good, Bad, Good. Okay, next time, next time, okay. But I think we're going to do it to the tune of the Beatles, which famously, absolutely license-free, the Beatles, I Am the Walrus. So it'll go,

Give you some good news. Ooh, give you some bad news. Either way, we're going to go another good news. And again, Give you some good news. Ooh, give you some bad news. I thought we were going to go another good news. And again. Give you some good news. Give you some good news. Give you some bad news. Good, good, bad, good.

Yeah. There's nothing more good. It's a work in progress. It's a work. It's early in its stages. We've got to zoom after the show about it. So our second good, good, bad, good, we will give you two pieces of good news,

some pretty bad news, and then we finish it off with some good news to make you feel better about the bad news. So it's all animal-related today, pet-related. It's animal-special. Who's going to start? I'm going to start because this is personnel at the same time. So we have a six-year-old cat called Rolly.

He's the love of our life. Absolutely love Rolly. He's a gorgeous of our life. Absolutely love Rolly. He's a gorgeous cat. Never had any accidents or anything terrible happening. And then the other day he jumped up on the bed and we gave him a little pat. And then I just hear Aaron go, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Because I had a cat.

But he's dead and I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, well, this is where my head went. I was like, I don't want my cat to end up like Vaughn's dead cat. Because he's still not over it. You don't want my cat to end up like Vaughan's dead cat. Because he's still not over it. You don't want to have to talk about it. No. And we were scratching under his chin and noticed he had a massive lump under the skin. Tumour.

It's a tumour. And of course, I went, it's a tumour. You know what I mean? And my mind raced all night. I said to Aaron, should we go to the emergency vet now? And Rolly seemed fine and we didn't want to upset him. So then, yes, was it yesterday or the day before Aaron took him to the vet in the morning

while I was on radio it was all I could think of what if you got there and the vet's like put him down yeah but then you didn't get your goodbyes don't do this to me

because I'll get very upset because I I took my cat to the vet and then what happened he was put down and I was there for it I stayed with him I patted him as he fell asleep

But now he's dead And I don't want to talk about it Okay We'll talk about my alive cat Because this is good news This is the good news section Good It turned out he'd been in a fight

And another cat's claw Had got stuck under his skin And it had grown a big abscess So what they did They lanced it It is not cancer And Rolly is going to be fine. Good news. Does Rolly have antibiotics?

Does he have little antibiotics? He's got little antibiotics. Does he eat them or is he wise to that? He eats them, they're fine. He's just in the go. I had to buy an injector thing to get it right down my cat's throat because he wouldn't take them. None of our pets, apart from Richie,

the golden retriever and golden retrievers will eat anything, but none of our pets are pill eaters. They'll lick, lick, lick because they can smell the pill and then they'll be like, they spit it out. What about your cat that's passed? Was that a pill eater? He was the worst at taking pills. I'm surprised you even want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it.

One good thing, you don't have to deal with it anymore. We're looking for positives of my cat being dead. I don't want to talk about it. One good thing, you don't have to deal with that anymore. Well, we're looking for positives of my cat being dead. I don't want to talk about it. Okay, I've got some good news. Give us the good news. Well, you may have seen this in the news a couple of days ago. In North Carolina, a dog owner gave up their dog. They dropped it at a shelter because it was humping another dog.

And they said, we don't want a gay dog. Oh, it was a boy dog humping a boy dog. Yeah, North Carolina. This is a story brought to you by North Carolina. Well, of course. It's very North Carolina to not want a gay pet in your house. Some good news. Can animals be

gay? Like, do you know, like dogs hump other dogs because they've got to establish the dominant dog. You know, there's always got to be an alpha in the pack. Yeah, because they're all about, they want to procreate. Yeah. But maybe he has a gay spirit.

Who knows? Yeah, true. He could be bi as well. We don't, I don't know where he's on the spectrum. He could be anything. Like, we don't know. Well, a lovely gay couple in North Carolina, Steve and John, his longtime partner, John.

Now, they could also be great on siblings or dating, the Instagram account. They do look very similar. Because they do look very, they could also be great on siblings or dating, the Instagram account. They do look very similar. Because they do look very, they could be brothers. They have adopted the dog, Fezco, and renamed him Oscar, after Oscar Wilde, who, of course, was also gay. Oh, yes, he was.

And so, yeah, Oscar now lives with his two new gay bear daddies, and they're all happy. And he can just be who he is. That's a good news. That's another good news. That's another good news. Good news. So that's good good. It's a real cute dog too. I'm going to hit you with the badge. Okay, you hit the badge. And then I'm going to

follow up with some more good. Okay. It's better be good because this is pretty bad. Obviously the cost of living in New Zealand is absolutely horrific at the moment. It's a crisis. And one thing I didn't even think of, and now, of course, the SPCA is saying people are turning up with their pets and giving them up because they can't afford to keep them.

Oh. Anymore. That's sad. And, of course, if they don't get adopted, they'll be murdered. Helen! Sorry, Ben, was that too much? Ben at the desk was a little bit shocked by my choice of the word murdered. They just do their darn best just to get them rehomed.

They absolutely do. And there's so many wonderful places. That's where we got Richie, our golden retriever. He was rehomed. Yeah, we've got a rescue cat. But with inflation at a 30-year high, people are trying to cut costs, and of course they're not going to give their kids back. So they go...

If they could, they probably would. Oh, absolutely. But the SPCA won't take children. I tried one weekend where my children were driving me up the wall. I'll admit. And they said no. And I said, do you take young females? And they said, yes, we take all sorts.

And I said, okay, here they are. And those are children. And I said, you said you take all sorts of young females, but they said, yes, we take all sorts. And I said, okay, here they are. And those are children. And I said, you said you take all sorts of young females, but they didn't take these ones. No, they didn't take those ones. So I traded myself in at the SPCA. That's fair. That's the bad news. That's the bad news. We need good news to finish. Here's some good news.

Pepper the Border Collie, a much loved family pet, Pepper the Border Collie, was at the dog park and there was a little bit of a scene with some other dogs and Peppa got scared. Oh, Peppa. And Peppa jumped the fence and ran away from the dog park, terrified. The owners searched.

Peppa, Peppa, Peppa. To no avail. To no avail. Meanwhile, cut from family searching to Peppa, to Peppa, who's on the run around. The family go home. Peppa comes back to the dog park. It's like, I'm back.

Where's my humans? Where's my humans? I'm lost. Walks up to a bus stop. The door opens and Peppa goes to get on the bus and the bus driver's like, this is most unusual. And then somebody apparently said to the bus driver, does that dog have a bus pass? And everybody laughed.

And then they were like patting the dog and then the bus driver stopped and the dog's like, this is my stop. The dog didn't say that. He just indicated that he also was ready to get off. And then Julie Jones, owner of Pepper, was just, again, leaving the house to begin to search again for her beloved border collie, Pepper. And Pepper walks in. Pepper was walking down the road home. Pepper caught the bus home.

So you're telling me Pepper got public transport? Correct. Did he have a snapper card? Or a hop card? No, no, no, no card. They said that they let Pepper on. And Julie doesn't know how this works. Oh, my goodness.

Well, they say Border Collies are a highly intelligent breed of dogs. Yeah, I don't think they know public transport schedules. Intelligent enough to open their phone and work. I can't even work out a public transport schedule. And I've got like Google Maps. It will tell me exactly how to get there. It's like when you go on the AT Hop app and you put in where you are and where you want to be

and it gives you the route to go. Yeah, well, Peppa doesn't need it. All built into the old stuff. Good news, guys. That's great news. Peppa got home. Peppa got home and she took public transport. So the carbon footprint on her return, tiny.

Tiny. Good, good, bad, good. There's a woman on TikTok who has absolutely caused a storm in the comments section, I'll tell you. She's been absolutely slammed. She was doing a prank in a nightclub where she'd put on some fresh lipstick and would go around, and then her friends were filming her doing this and she

would kiss the back of men's t-shirts. White t-shirts, right? Men who were wearing white tees. So you can really see it. And obviously if your man came home with a white t-shirt on that had a big lipstick kiss on it, you might be like, excuse me? Yeah, please explain. Please explain.

I think it was supposed to be a funny prank, but the moment they shared it up on the talk, people came for her being like, you're going to ruin relationships. How is this a good prank? Totally. Agent of chaos. Absolute agent of chaos. Yeah, she's trying to get these people in trouble.

That's beyond petty to do this to a complete stranger. You don't have their consent. She's also ruining their T-shirts. Lipstick. Oh, yeah. It's very hard to get out of a white T-shirt. And then another additive, but the hypocrisy of it. If a man was coming up behind you and kissing you gently on the shoulder,

as a woman. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm not allowed back in Danny Doolin's. Because you're a bar gently on the shoulder as a woman. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm not allowed back in Danny Doolin's. Because you're a bar pest. You're a pub pest. I could not imagine you

at Danny Doolin's. This is why that was so unbelievable. Can you imagine me at Danny Doolin's? I'd be like, can you turn this down? It wouldn't happen.

Can someone turn it down? I can't hear a single thing that's being said. But if you say your fiancé came home, Hayley, with a lipstick mark on the back of his white shirt, would you even believe that for a second? No, no, no.

I'd be like, what the heck is this? I mean, also because it's a very like film trope, isn't it? The like lipstick on the collar. Yeah. But as a woman who has engaged in relations with men, I don't like lipstick on the collar. Yeah. But as a woman who has engaged in relations with men, I don't kiss people on their shirts. That's not something that actually happens in the middle of a little steamy moment.

Yeah. It would be weird. It would happen. It would be one of those weird, you know, every now and then you'll go in for a kiss and you'll just completely miss. Oh my God. I did this once to a man.

Oh God, go on. So I've got one as well and it's horrible. Did you kiss their nose? It was a man who should remain nameless, but it was at Radio New Zealand in Wellington and I was going to do some

play readings. And I went in there and he said, hi Hayley. And I said, hi. And I went in and he sort of went in to sort of go for a handshake or a kiss on the cheek. But as he did, he turned it into a cuddle, tucking his neck and revealing his neck, and I kissed him softly on the neck.

Yes! Softly, like a... Yes. Like the kind of kiss that if someone kissed you on the neck like that, you'd get a little chill down your spine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a real erotic, that's erogenous.

Like sexy as, and I just went, there you go. So I went to kiss somebody I hadn't seen for a while on the cheek, and she went in for the hug. I went in for the, like, and so I ended up trying to kiss on the cheek, but because she went a few inches further, I ended up smooching her ear hole.

Oh, no. Like a full. Also an erogenous zone. Like she would have heard. Right. So what I got. A little tingle. Yeah, I know.

Again, an absolute erogenous zone. A little tingle down Yeah, I know. Again, absolute erogenous. A little tingle down south. We can't help if we're sexual fireworks. We can't help how we make people feel. We are sexual powder kegs, and we can't help if these people are just wandering into the armory with a lantern held aloft. That's not on us.

That's not on us. There's going to be an explosion of sexual energy, and I won't be held responsible for this. Neither will I. This person going to be an explosion of sexual energy and I won't be held responsible for this. Neither will I. This person wandering in with an open lantern. Very sexy. Yes, it's a ZM's $100,000 secret sound. $100,000 Thursday.

Yes, it's a $100,000 Thursday. It's all thanks to Neon. Get a Kiwi streaming service. Get great value. Get it on Neon. You can sign up for a 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Good morning, Soundkeeper Owls.

Oh, good morning indeed. It was hard getting out of bed this morning. Yeah. You're wearing a Harry Styles T-shirt. I need three Harry Styles facts. Okay. Yes. Happily. This is my new role.

If you wear any sort of theme shirt into the studio, I demand three facts about whatever that... Have you talked to Carwen about the Harry Styles? Carwen, have you seen it? If you haven't seen it, Harry Styles, it's being confirmed, releasing new music. Yes, we're very excited. May 20th.

Someone's trying to steal my job as the official Harry Styles correspondent of the show. We've actually got a Harry Styles correspondent. No, we can do it together. Well, you know how like TV, like One News has like

a senior political reporter and then they, what do they call the backup? Field, like the field political reporters. Yeah. So your... Senior.

Mikey Sherman. They say you're in charge. You're in charge. Yeah, I'll field political reporters. Yeah. So you're... Senior. Mikey Sherman. So you're in charge. You're in charge. Yeah, I'll report to you, Carwin. Yes, please report to Carwin for all things Harry Styles. Cool, cool. Let's give away $100,000. Let's give away $100,000.

It is now my dream. Let's see if Cassie can get it. Good morning, Cassie. Good morning. Are you feeling lucky, kid? I hope so. We'll see. Alright, have you pulled over the clothes and the wrong guesses?

I have and I'm quite an over thinker so my clothes have like sort of taken me to this but who knows. Alright, well it's the right day to get through because today is $100,000 Thursday. If you can tell us what get through because today is $100,000 Thursday If you can tell us what the secret sound is

that $100,000 is yours Okay Cassie No pressure I'd love to hear your guess Okay, so my guess is you take measure retracting back to place so like when it clicks back into the...

That's scary when it happens. Oh, I'm just going to get my fingers. And if you like wound it all the way out and then you let it go and it was like... Your dad would come out and he'd be like, you better not wreck that bloody tape measure. Yeah, because they're really expensive to buy a new one. Are they? Yeah, get a hiding for it.

Well, they were back in the day. That is a regular guess for secret sound, I'll say. Sounds like a lot of things, doesn't it? Yeah. Can we hear the sound again, please, Fletch? Yes, I'm picking up what you're putting down. All right. We'll lock it in, Cassie.

It is 100k Thursday. Ooh, going all in. A tape measure. Locking in. Don't slurp. What was that? I was having a coffee because you're taking forever to tell her if she's won it or not. She's doing tension.

Suspense. Cassie, start the suspense again, please. Starting again. Are you having a soup or what? What are you slurping on? No, it's a coffee. Oh, my God. Guys, Cassie's on the line.

This is my moment. You're going to win $100,000. And you're asking what kind of magic cup of soup Fletch is slurping. No, it's my Makona. Does it have to be a mm this morning? Yeah, mm. Silence. Sorry, sorry.

Cassie? Yeah? Our soundkeeper Al's just told me off. That's on you, Fletch. That is not the secret sound. That could have been a lot quicker as well if we had some silence. Hey, hard luck. Another chance coming up with that $100,000 secret sound thanks to Neon.

We've got the caller for secret sound on the line. Yes, a $100,000 secret sound. I thought that. You should. $100,000 Secret Sound. I thought that was my turn. $100,000 Thursday. I was trying to find my mouse. I found it, the cursor. $100,000 Secret Sound today because it's Thursday. It's all thanks to Neon.

Sign up for your free 14-day trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Is it my turn? Go. Yeah, go. We've trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Is it my turn? Go. Yeah, yeah, go. We've got Mel on the line. Hey, good morning. Good morning, Mel.

Hi, Mel. Hi. Now, you've called up on Thursday, which is our 100K Thursday. A lot of money. What would you do with it? I would take a giant holiday all over the world. Oh, nice. That's a lot of pre-departure testing over the world. Oh, nice. That's a lot of pre-departure testing.

Hell of a time, yeah. Yeah, that nose of yours is going to be raw. Oh, yeah. Okay, Mel, I'd love to hear your guess. Okay, my guess, it's a bit of a stab in the dark, but it's digging in the ground with a spade, like when you hit the ground with a spade okay have you tried this out is your backyard just full of holes uh actually we have fake

grass so i haven't been able to try it out okay okay so it's just a sound you remember it's distinctive and you're going with it. Yeah. Well, Mel, for 100k, that is not the secret sound. Oh! Man, no holiday.

No holiday for you. Alright, hey, well, Mel, another chance coming up at 11 with Georgia and right throughout the day, so keep listening to ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.