ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 24th November 2022

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Vaughans PhotoshootYummy Yummy!  Top 6: Prosecco  Trad Wife  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista-made coffee on the go. Now, we've decided, because we had such a big response for a topic today on the podcast. It blew up, didn't it? You'll find out soon. It involves producer Carl Wayne. We're going to come back at the end of the potty and with some extra... Well, I would say we should just, I mean, this is just chatting and shooting the shit and working it out as we go, but maybe we should just tag it on.

Where's that phone and topic going to fall in the podcast? I don't know. I think we slot it in. We'll slot it in after. I think we slot it in rather than tag it on. Okay, Jared, can we slot in? Are we able to slot in or put it on the... What would you prefer?

Yeah. Would you prefer that we slide in? Because was it going to be at the end of the podcast anyway Yeah it's easier to chuck it on the end But like not such a difference That I can't chuck it at the end of the segment Was the phone in topic going to be at the end of the podcast Anyway because lately people have been saying

It's all Sometimes it changes order The order that happened on the radio Which I'll say on record Vemently against We're a very successful podcast We can't get this wrong What have you decided to do there, JP? Which I'll say on record, I'm vehemently against. I was vehemently against. We're a very successful podcast. We can't get this wrong.

Veemently against. I will say that since I've rearranged parts of the podcast, our average time listened has doubled. Wow. As I said, I was always a big fan of just stacking the best stuff. You got behind that campaign. Right at the start, I said that, didn't I? You did.

You did from the start. You said, you watch. These numbers will double. You watch. That's what I said. I said, guys, you've got to take the order of how it happened on the radio, but edit it so that people listening only to the podcast don't know that it was a different order. Take out the teasers, the time checks, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

That's what I said, didn't I? Take out all the bits that I do. Yeah. Basically make it Fletchless. And then that's what you'll find. Vaughn Haley and that guy And the time guy Hey you contribute more to the show than that

Thank you Thank you Also it's Thanksgiving It is Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow To our American listeners Podcast listeners Today though in New Zealand

It is the 24th of November Thanksgiving I give thanks to to our American listeners, podcast listeners. Today, though, in New Zealand, it is the 24th of November, Thanksgiving. I give thanks to my privilege. You want to thank your privilege? Yes. Okay. I'm white. I want to thank Countdown for having a Prosecco special,

which you also hear about on the show. Are you taking back your thanks to privilege and you're giving it now to Countdown for the Prosecco special? Yeah, I gotta go take it back. Okay. I revoke. Are you taking back your thanks to privilege and you're giving it now to Countdown for the Prosecco? Yeah, I gotta go take it back. Okay. I revoke. Yeah. And I give it to Countdown for our Prosecco. Right, yeah.

It was cheap. Yeah, it's on. Well, you hear us talk about Prosecco today and don't ruin the podcast. Let's just explain the whole podcast. First, what are we actually talking about? Rats. Rats are back. It's coming up.

Rats are back. And that's the Department of Conservation Seal Yeah Guarantee Put a stamp on it Put it in the post box Okay let's wrap this up

So we can go And do the actual Fun thing And then go pick up our Prosecco Lee Thank you Lee Good morning Welcome to the show

Fletch, Fawn and Hayley I forget I follow An Instagram account and whenever it comes up on my... That's a vagina that you're just showing us there. Is that an illustration? It's called the Vulva Gallery and it has little like drawings and doodles of all different types of vulvas. But sometimes when I'm scrolling through Instagram... You forget that you follow. Oh, it just gives me a little fright. Are they based on somebody's or are they just purely artists?

No, they're based on all sorts of fan eggs. Right. Okay. So it's either. Now that's good, because, you know, everybody's different, aren't they? Yeah. Everyone's different. Now, I'm not going to follow that account, but I will look.

Not in a pervy way, but you've piqued my interest. Yeah. Watercolors, pencils, charcoals? Yeah, watercolours. It's so cool. I asked Darren if we could frame a whole bunch of them and put them in our toilet. Do you? You know what I mean?

Like all different. Like medical anatomy drawings. Yeah, right. It was a no because he was like, what will my nieces think? My in-laws have got like 1920s pornography. Oh, I love that. In their toilet. Yeah, like framed, like real old school, not like graphic

pornography, but in the 1920s what pornography was, just like boob. I love the... Like a farmer's catalogue would be more racy now, wouldn't it? Oh yeah, a bit of cleave. Yeah. Do they still do junk mail circulars? Farmers. Or like all the you know, like with the warehouse and stuff?

Yeah, the warehouse does. I love that. I don't know why we, good morning. We're talking about porn. You know, they're like homoerotic. They're old, like cowboys with like big muscles. Oh, yeah, right, yeah. You know, they're real like vintage.

Love that. Get some of those in the dunny. Get some of those in the dunny. Some pictures of vulvas. What old circus strongmen. Yeah, no, but you know, and they're like cowboys and they've got like big muscles and they're wearing like leathers and stuff. Anyway, it's a style of art. The history of homoerotic art and literacy.

Yeah. Well, it goes all the way back to Greek vases. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Kama Sutra. Yeah. Ancient Egyptian it does, yeah. All the way back. Oh, yeah, Kama Sutra. Yeah. Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Coming up on the show, 7.30 this morning, another chance for you to win a double pass to Symphony in the Domain 2023. You'll get the keyboard out with another song. Certainly will. Chance for you to guess that song to win at 7.30. The top six on the way. Yeah, those... I was going to say those cheeky Italians,

but then I stopped myself, but then I said it anyway. Just then. Those cheeky Italians are trying to say that if the Prosecco isn't from Prosecco, it can't be called Prosecco. However. Just like champagne. Champagne, yeah, exactly.

It can't be called champagne unless it's from the Champagne region of France. However, there's canivory afoot, yeah, exactly. It can't be called champagne unless it's from the Champagne region of France. However, there's conivory afoot. Oh, okay. I've done a little bit of a look into this. Right. And I don't know if they've got a decent claim. I'll tell you more about that in the top six possible other names for Prosecco

coming up in the top six. All right, we've got Yummy Yummy, our segment of the show where we take a look at... It's not. What? The thing. Oh, no, it's not. It's Yucky Yucky. It looks so yummy.

It looks grossy grossy. No. There's a new food product we need to talk about soon. Vaughan is not a fan. Nope. Next on the show... I thought this was a joke. I thought it was a prank.

Birds are doing too well. Oh, are they? Need to set my cat out. Well, the Department of Conservation Solutions is not that far off. Wow. I'll start with a disclaimer that we're not really a photo shoot family. And I would place that blame squarely at my feet because I'm a, you know what it's like, I'm a bit of a menace when it comes to a photo shoot.

You've been told off before. Our last photo shoot, we were all told we had to behave and be nice. Multiple times. I don't like them. It's very unnatural. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like natural photos. Pretend to laugh and do a silly face and jump up and down. It's just like, no thanks.

I don't like them. Yeah, fair enough. I'm not a huge fan of them. And plus I'm always like, I look at the photos afterwards, I'm like and down. It's just like, no thanks. I don't like them. Yeah, fair enough. I'm not a huge fan of them. And plus I'm always like, I look at the photos afterwards, I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, is that truly that? It's not getting any better. Yeah. Anyway, I was coerced,

it's the gentle way of putting it, into a family photo shoot. And fair enough, like, we don't have too many family photo shoots and Indy's going to be 11 soon and everything's happening in the past. I'm having a bad day and I'm thinking about my life flying by and I've got the results of the photo shoot. You saw some lovely photos, actually. Oh, lovely.

Yes, some lovely photos of the Smith family out there. You were laughing looking out a window. We were laughing looking out a window. We were laughing looking out a window. And I nearly commented on that and I was like, I don't think it's appropriate for me to comment on this. No, yep, don't. Well spotted, well said. Yes, yes.

We didn't put up the photo of me sniffing Sade's head because I think that was creepy. That's weird. That's a weird pose, eh, that they get couples to do. And like where, yeah, or give them a smooch and you're like. And then you just hold like lip to lip like. If it was more of, you know, my way of showing my love, it would be grab the bum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And her being like, born. Now that's a photo shoot I'll take. Pardon. Anyway, I'll tell you what people seem to have a real problem with. Someone wearing a beanie in their family photos. You were wearing a beanie in your photo shoot. I was told I could.

Why not? You're a hat guy. I'm a hat guy. Yeah, I didn't think they looked bad. They look good. Yeah. People are like, ah, you should have taken that off. It's like, why though?

I wear a beanie. Yeah. This is how I decorate my head. Yeah. This is how I decorate my head. Yeah. This is how my head lives its life. Yeah. Under a hat. Well, I don't have a problem with a beanie. No? No, people are like, oh, you should have taken this beanie off. Wow, he's a real one. Somebody didn't, no, they didn't

say real. What word did they use? He's really something with that beanie. I was like, what did you write off? Leave me, leave me out of this. But yeah, so we've got the family photos. I think they look nice. I haven't had my family of four. Are we hanging on the wall nice though?

Yeah. I'm going to hang on the wall. Of the girls? Yeah. Oh yeah, the girls, yeah. Oh, don't trust me. Hanging on the wall of your parents, not yours. You guys might forget what you look like.

Yeah, I find that weird. A reminder of like, there we are and here we are. Yeah, and here we were and that was there. We got family photos, mum, dad, brother and I, in I think it was like 2002 or 2003. Were you goth? Recently goth, but my mum made me like tone it down. So it's like a black top, black hair, black eyeliner,

but like a white skirt. And my brother was a bit rock and rolly as well. He had a skull cuff, you know, cuffs. We would wear cuffs. And we went down to the Eastbourne Wharf and all that kind of stuff, walking along the beach as a family and da-da-da-da. And I remember we got, you know,

you chose five to get printed or something like that. And they gave us a DVD of the photos sort of like showing up and fading away. And the song was Coldplay We live in a beautiful world Yeah we do Were they paying royalties

to use that song? Absolutely not. Stones thinking like. And when I see the photos now I I'm like, cringe. Did your mum Patsy have her LJ hooker real estate haircut? No, a bit more shaggy for the shoot. Okay, right. A bit more beachy.

Yeah, right. Casual. Casual real estate. But they had that, you know, my dad's arm around her looking at her while she's looking off at the kids and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just funny. You do wish you could just say to someone like, hey, we're going to be hanging out. You can be around.

Just paparazzi us. Pat me. Pat. Yeah. Pat me. So it just looks a bit more. Yeah, because otherwise I'm going like, did you see like,

because Vaughn, you found a camera the other day somewhere. Yeah, it was just out there. Like a point and shoot. Yeah. Shoot and click and point. And you can feel the energy. Like you're like, we're hanging out.

The moment a camera lens goes onto you, your whole body goes like. You stop breathing. Yeah. It's really intense. Did you have, you would have had like. Yeah, we had a group. A family growing up. Yeah.

I did have a family growing up. Was it that grey marl backdrop everybody had? No, we had some in the garden. You had outside ones? Yeah.

When you go into a studio, like that's 80s, 90s. We went upstairs at Farmer's in Hamilton. Was it the guy that took all the school photos? Bob Bradley?

Did he do it? Yeah. God, they were good. Bob Bradley. Well, he knew how to get a smile out of a kid. I'll give him that much. Yeah. But I looked miserable in all of our family photos growing he knew how to get a smile out of a kid. I'll give him that much. Yeah.

But I looked miserable in all of our family photos growing up. Did they make you do... I'm bad at photo shoots. Did you get sibling ones as well? No. Where you'd sit on a chair and your older brother would stand with his hand on your shoulder? Me and my brother have so many of those. No.

I didn't... No, we just had the family ones. Just... I think we were for the cheapest package possible. Yeah. Right. You're a cheapie. No, no, no. My parents were the cheapies. Oh, cheapest package possible. Yeah, right. You're a cheapie. No, no, no.

My parents were the cheapies. Oh, the cheapies. Yeah. Well, I don't think these look tacky at all. I think they're nice. I think they're really nice. Well, let's just decide in 10 years. That's the thing, I guess.

Time will tell. Time will tell. Family photos always look great looking back. Next on the show. Speaking of awkward things for families to do together, a dad and his son have taken a small trip as a reward for his son doing well in his exams. But the internet has a little problem with this.

A little diviny. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy. It's so rich and good Yummy, yummy. A segment of the show where we take a look at new food items

and food trends. This one from the UK. Now, I didn't know this was a thing. Apparently, it's something that's back. So it's been here before. Okay. Heinz, which is your baked beans, your skitty,

is releasing a frozen pizza called Heinz Beans Pizza. So it is simply a pizza base. So it's ready to cook. It's like a frozen. Yeah, frozen pizza. Right. Put it in the oven, heat it up. It's just a pizza base with baked beans on it.

And cheese? Cheese. Yeah. And tomato base. But nothing else. Beans is the it. And cheese? Cheese. Yeah. And tomato base. But nothing else. Beans as a topping. Anything else? No meat.

No veggies or anything. Yum. I would eat the hell out of this. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love me a baked bean. I love baked beans. It's had a 19.

Let's get more and more progressively British, okay? You start. You start. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. It's hit a 90. Let's get more and more progressively British, okay? All right, you start. You start. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love baked beans.

I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. I love baked beans. Hello, big beans. Hello, big beans. Scene. And scene. That's just some of our character work we're working on. A trio of men in a pub.

We slowly go down the rabbit hole further and further. I love them. Bat beans. I love a bat bean. I love the sauce. You don't love the beans? No, I mean, I could forgo the beans. I love, you know when you get scrambled eggs with baked bean sauce?

You know, if you're at a breakfast... It's almost carny sauce, right? Yeah, if you're at a breakfast buffet... You just go for the sauce. I go for the sauce of baked beans. I don't take any beans. You're like the basic people that just go for the curry sauce and not the meat in a curry. Yes. Oh my God,, you know, I thought

so much about what I said yesterday about having mac and cheese with butter chicken sauce on it and I really want to do that. That would be good. But my local food court, I would have to buy, I know exactly where to buy mac and cheese. I would then have to go to the Indian and say, what is the price for just a source of

I reckon they just scoop it. If you were like, here's, what's a fair price? See, I would scoop it. If you were like, ah, here's... What's a fair price? See, I would pay $10. No, no, no, no. Two. Oh, no, I was thinking five. No, for a thing of sauce.

Five for the inconvenience. But, I mean, you're asking them something weird, which is... I think they'd be on board for $2 worth of butter chicken sauce. No, it's like it'd be one thing of sauce. Would you make them, like, skim the skin out of the way? You know, when you get a butter chicken from a food, it's always going to look skinny on of sauce. Would you make them like skim the skin out of the way? You know when you get a butter chicken from the food,

it's always going to look skinny on the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it a swirl. Give it a swirl, two dollars. So this is my aim is to make a butter chicken

mac and cheese. How good's a mall curry, eh? Yum. Yeah, so good. Yum. I mean, the chicken's not great. Can I be honest?

Mall curries are trash. Excuse me. If you compared to like a properly passionately made restaurant curry. Oh, my God. No, absolutely. I'd go for the restaurant at any time. I'd go for the authentic Indian experience.

But you're saying for 10 buck, not bad. When you walk past, I'm just saying, when you're at the mall and you walk past a mall curry, you've got to stop and have one. Oh, you've got to smell it. What about if you'd made your own mac and cheese at home and just put like a jar, butter chicken jar sauce? Like a Pat-Ax? Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no. It's got to be from the mall. It's got to be from the mall. It's all hot and it's there. Yeah, but if you put... It's hot and it's there. That's what more curry is. That's also his take on how to find a sexual partner.

Yeah, yeah. They're hot and they're there. You know what? You're hot, you're there. It's a convenience thing for me. So this Heinz beans pizza was in the 90s and then in 2003, gone. Oh, okay.

It's had a 19-year hiatus and it's back. Wow. It's one of many pizza items they're pushing this year. Oh, no, sorry. Many brand sort of things that Heinz is doing. Heinz beans burgers. Okay. Oh, yum. Maybe a brand sort of things that Heinz is doing. Heinz Beans Burgers. Okay. So I guess maybe a patty made out of baked beans? I just looked,

I don't know, do we do a baked bean pizza here? We do a spaghetti pizza in a can, so you could just chuck that on a pizza base. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, I'm choking on my own saliva. You're salivating at the thought of this delicious... I am. Because remember we talked about Heinz beans

filled hash browns? Yes. That's another one of these initiatives that they're doing. And the other one is called... How much fun would it be to be the stoner in charge of ideas at Heinz? What else could you do with a bean? Soup. Blend it up. Tomato soup. But with more protein.

I guess so, yeah. Yuck. Oh my god, beans curry. Oh my god, I say this like that's a new thing. I guess so, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, beans curry. Oh my God, I say this like that's a new thing. I add curry powder to my baked beans. Yum. Okay, that's yum. I love curry powder. Like general, generic curry powder.

And when you're cooking up your beans in a pot, you've got your scramble, your hash browns, your bacon and stuff. My friend taught me, just chuck in a teaspoon of curry powder into the beans. Yeah, that's good stuff. I love curry. I love a curry sauce.

I love a curry sauce. I love a curry. I love me a curry sauce. I love curry. Next on the show. Always up. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. 30 days today away from Christmas. It's the 24th of course. Next on the show. Always up. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. 30 days today away from Christmas.

It's the 24th of November. Tomorrow will be a month away. It'll be the 25th tomorrow. And I think we could be so close tomorrow to Christmas penetration. Yeah. I think tomorrow will be the day. Yeah. We're on the cusp.

100% Christmas. Does that mean we're going to play? It does, yes. It does. Yeah, we play Mariah Carey when we reach 100% Christmas penetration. That's exciting for me. Yeah, I also saw a study yesterday. If you want to feel happy, put your Christmas tree up early.

Yeah. It actually reminds me. I've actually got to pop around the coast to make sure they're playing the edited version of the Pogues Christmas song, Fairytale of New York. Oh, because they don't know about things, do they? Last Christmas of New York. Because they don't know about things, do they? Last Christmas they would. They don't know about cancellation, do they? You only get to say that word once a year and it's Christmas.

Christmas morning. Christmas morning, once only. Well, a study's been done, and this was done in America, but I think this would resonate here And around the world People were asked what they want Most for Christmas And it's really not anything you can buy

Because two in three people said Vouchers They just want a decent night's sleep Oh god How good does that sound? Ha la la la la I'm talking like nine hours. I know, I got nine hours the other day and I was like unheard of.

How does it even happen? Yeah. But if I'm going to get nine hours, there has to be a break in the middle. Oh, you can't sleep through. Yeah. You might as well be dead. You mean like a little wheeze break? Wheeze break, but then also like putting on an eye mask

and putting in earplugs because the minute the sun comes up, the minute there's any light or any noise, I'm like, well, here we go. Yeah, same.

I'm awake. This job's ruined me in that way, so we have to sleep till like 10 easily. Easily. But now like a sleep in would be 6.37,

I guess. Just all night. I'm just grateful for the sleep I can get. Why are you crying? It's okay. It's I guess. Just all night. I'm just grateful for the sleep I can get. Why are you crying? It's okay. It's really tight. Do you mind if I do the rest of the show with my eyes closed?

I'll still be really entertaining and engaged. Just a gentle eye close. I'm just going to close my eyes for five minutes. I love that. We just go, I'm just going to close my eyes for five minutes. I wonder if I do that in the shower most mornings. All right, I'm just going to lean here. That's why you're late every morning because you nap in the shower standing up. Well, you start sliding down the shower. I. I'm just going to lean here. That's why you're late every morning

because you nap in the shower standing up. Well, you start sliding down the shower. You're like, oh, I'm okay. Well, I wonder if that is a gift idea for a sleep-deprived loved one in your life. It's like a hotel weekend, like a staycation. Or even like to say, okay, we're going to spend the afternoon together.

I'm going to put you to bed. I'm going to tuck you in. I'm going to put on a little soundscape. I'm going to close the curtains,. I'm going to put you to bed. I'm going to tuck you in. I'm going to put on a little soundscape. I'm going to close the curtains, put on an eye mask for you. If you wake up, call my name. I'll come and I'll rub your back,

get you back to sleep. Yeah. Until you have achieved nine hours. Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, that'd be lovely. That's a beautiful gift. And it's free as well, isn't it? It's free.

It's absolutely free. As I get older, there's a voice in the back of my head being like, there's things that need to be done. You're wasting it? It's free. It's actually free. As I get older, there's a voice in the back of my head being like, there's things that need to be done. You're wasting the best part of the day. And I always remember my grandad saying it to me when I was a kid. You've wasted the best part of the day.

He's a grumpy old man. He wasn't hung over on Powell's, was he? No, no, never touched a drop. Never didn't drink at all. What a hero. I know.

Wasted the best part of the day. And now that voice has become my voice. Oh, no. You're wasting the best part of the day. Now, I didn't realise that there was lore around this. Right. Around drinking. Now, I would, as your legal representative,

like you to seriously consider saying anything further as already this sounds incriminating. Yeah. I didn't know there was a lore around this, but I have been doing it for years. No, I mean, like, so I know the legal drinking age is 18. It used to be 21 in New Zealand. Got lowered to 18.

I know that. It was 20. Oh, was it 20? It was 20, yeah. America's 21. America's 21 in some states, yeah. Unless you want an assault rifle, that's any age. That's any age.

Did you see there was another shooting overnight at a Walmart? Crazy. America. America. God bless America. That's any age That's any age Did you see there was Another shooting overnight At a Walmart Crazy America Yeah America God bless America So the United Kingdom Quite a few doctors Are getting

Are rallying together To raise The legal drinking age At home So not in a pub Or anything Which theirs is 18 as well From five

Are you kidding me? Five years old. From five, they said it should be 15 because 15 is when your brain is formed enough to not learn alcohol as a habit. But the French do the alcoholism. This is his argument is saying like people argue like the French don't have a binge drinking culture and he said, yes, they do. They drink from morning till night. No, but they're not binge drinkers. That's drinking culture and he said yes they do. They drink from morning

till night. No but they're not binge drinkers. That's the most important thing. Oh they're consistent. They're consistent drinkers. They're consistent. Strong.

Did you find out what the age is in New Zealand? There is no legal age. Literally birth. Yeah because we used to get port-a-shandy. Yeah we got to we used to sip the froth.

Yeah yeah yeah. We used to get the froth from my dad's beer. Or a Miami wine cooler or just at the end of a cask wine when you'd go to blow up the cask wine, if you blew a bit into it, give it a bit of pressure and then put your mouth right at the bottom, you could open the valve and get a little spray of mist,

a little whiny mist. Yes. So even in New Zealand, there is no legal minimum drinking age in New Zealand in terms of being able to consume alcohol, not buy it or go to a bar. However, HPA,

Health People Association, Heather Du Plessis-Allen, recommends that children and young people under 18 don't drink alcohol. Those under 15 years of age are at the greatest harm of drinking alcohol. Right. But five years old, and then people would say, but in France, you know 15 years of age are at the greatest harm of drinking alcohol.

Right. But five years old, and then people would say, but in France, you know, like the kids are allowed a bit of wine and they have wine for breakfast. And like my mum, you know, they've got a place in Italy, my parents, and they said she'll walk past her trademens, her trademen at the bar having a little Prosecco with their breakfast. And then they'll come and do the tiling in the building and stuff. Is it wonky tiling? No wonder houses are a dollar. Yeah, I know.

Absolutely no guarantee on the quality of the work. Tumbling down. So yeah, the UK is going, well, not the whole UK, but quite a few doctors and psychologists are saying it's to prevent that young person who started drinking before the age of 15 from developing an addiction. And he said, he was trying to say people keep bringing up the France argument.

He's like, no, no, no. Their rate of alcohol consumption is 26% higher than the United Kingdom, as is their overall death rate from alcohol-related deaths, 26% higher than the United Kingdom. So it's not arelated deaths. Oh, wow, okay. 26% higher than the United Kingdom. So it's not a good argument. Yeah, because we always go like, but you never see the French drunk because they're just slowly but surely consuming alcohol.

But once it's in you, it's in you. Yeah, right, okay. Five, though. That's their legal age from five. But then you can say the same here, can't you? We don't even have them. We don't even have,. We don't even have. Yeah.

How good was a shandy though? So sweet. How good's a shandy with a hangover? Every now and then if I've got a little hair of the dog, you either want a cider or a bit of a shandy. But I've never been brave enough to order a shandy at a bar. Do you think the cider has taken the spot of the shandy? Yeah.

Sweet plays that role. Sweet plays. See, look, it's 6.44 and now I'm like, should we have a Prosecco? Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello, today's top six dealing with the most popular sparkling wine in the world. It's my go-to. Prosecco. I got a case of it the other day. 700 million bottles of it are sold yearly. It's the world's most sold, most consumed sparkling wine. It's a little bit sweet, eh? It's just easy.

Like sometimes champagne. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But it can be a bit full on. It's quite expensive. And it's quite robust as a drink. It's not light. Yeah, it's not light.

And it doesn't dance across the tongue like that. It doesn't. And it doesn't mix with an Aperol. It's very handy in a cocktail. It's just light and the flavour doesn't dominate the entire thing. It's just fizz. Yeah, lovely little bit of light fizz. Well, the Italians, they are trying to put into law

that if it's not from Prosecco, it shouldn't be called Prosecco. Classic champagne halloumi situation here. If it's not from the region, it shouldn't be called Prosecco. Classic champagne halloumi situation here. Yeah. If it's not from the region, it can't be. Well, the region that they call Prosecco, which is a small village, wasn't called Prosecco until 2009. Oh, what? No.

They named, apparently this has been a long play. This area, which is an hour out of Venice. It looks beautiful. I'm just Googling it. It's in a village. It's just out of a city called Trieste. It's in the absolute upper east side of Italy. It's coastal.

Oh, it looks so beautiful. Yeah, it's absolutely delightful. But it wasn't actually like officially called Prosecco. Do you reckon it has dollar houses? Yeah. One euro houses? Maybe. We could renovate one in Prosecco.

I think I read here most of its housing was built after World War II. Okay, the population of the area is still mainly Slovenian. It was 92% Slovenian before the annexation of Austria and blah, blah, blah, at the end of World War I. You know, that was a whole thing. Yeah. And then it subsequently became Italianized, which is where you highlight it and then press Control-I

and it goes a little bit on the side. A little bit on the side. Yeah. So are you saying that most of their houses were built after World War II? Yes. That's young. Built in the 1950s and 60s, mainly inhabited. Well, it was just like a farm or just like a valley.

It's really beautiful. Yeah, it is stunning. But people are saying you can't say that it has to be from Prosecco to be called Prosecco when 20 years ago Prosecco didn't exist. It was a grape. And that's the other argument, the other side of this argument. It's was a grape So and that's the other Argument The other side of this argument Is it's been a grape

For hundreds of years Right The Glitter Prosecco grapes Yes Very cheeky of them Yeah

Cheesy It is cheeky Be interesting to see How this goes on Aperol spritz And a Campari spritz With Prosecco in a bar And then there's all these

Different So I've got If this happens I've got the top six with Prosecco in a bar and then there's all these different ones. So I've got, if this happens, I've got the top six alternative names for Prosecco. Number six on the list, Orangeless Mimosa. Oh, perfect.

Yeah, that's great. It's my favourite breakfast drink. You could like flash it up You could say like Mimosa Sins Orange. Yeah. Like say it in an accent, use sans instead of flash it up um you could say like mimosa sans orange yeah

like say it in an accent use sans instead of less without without and away you go what's happening I've just looked up

my favourite Prosecco it's on special sorry send me the link send me the link it's $14 what's it usually well it's

inflation thanks Jacinta it's gone up to $20 It's gone up to $20. It's gone up to $20. So what was it pre-Jacinta? The good old days. John Key had it at what? Oh, John Key had it at $12.

Oh, bloody hell. Oh, my God. I'm seeing nothing but problems with this Labour government. Oh, my God. Had I have known. Yeah, and the rest of the world certainly isn't suffering inflation regardless of

where on the political spectrum they're from. No, it's Jacinta. It's Jacinta. She's affected the entire world's inflation. Now, my Prosecco says it's from Italy.

Does that mean it will still be called Prosecco? Depends what part of Italy it's from because this is also a territorial situation within Italy. Within Italy. Within Italy. A Italy. Within Italy.

A civil war of sorts. Number five on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco. Trashed white girl juice. We could just call it TWG. Hey. I'm not a white girl. More or less. I mean.

Well, this actually might be more your number four on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco. Basic bitch bubbly brew. Yep. No, I would agree with six alternative names for Prosecco. Basic Bitch, Bubbly Brew. Yep, no, I would agree with that. For the four Bs. Yeah, I would agree. Number three on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco, Soda Stream, Sav. Yeah, great.

I've tried it. It works, but it's not. It's yuck. Sav's yuck. I know this is very unpatriotic of me to say, but Sav is yuck. Sav's the worst of the one. I'm a Shad. Shad and me. Room temp.

Oh, cut his mic off. I quit. A room temp, oaky, buttery Shad. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. You're yuck. We're going out for dinner tonight.

No, I cancelled on us. Oh, that's right. It's been moved to Monday. I'm going to have a buttery. Oh, Fletch, don't feel bad. It's not just me and. We're going out for dinner tonight. No, I cancelled on us. Oh, that's right. It's been moved to Monday. I'm going to have a buttery. Oh, Fletch, don't feel bad. It's not just me and Vaughn going out to dinner, by the way. Right. Who is?

It's with our alternative car, Fletcher. It's Ursula Carlson. Oh, my God. Ursula Carlson, Fletcher. Wait. Oh, right, yeah. When we go out together, you're going to get a warm, buttery shard. I'm going to get a warm, buttery shard.

I'm not coming. Just to wind you up. I'm not coming. It's going to be a warm, buttery shard. I'm going to order a bottle of salve for the table. Not salve. Like any self-respecting Kiwi woman. We've got to be a warm, buttery shard. I'm going to order a bottle of salve for the table. Not salve. Like any self-respecting Kiwi woman. We've got to find a happy war.

What about a... We all love a Pinot Noir. You've gone straight to red. Yeah, I'm going to red. We're having a meal. We're having a red meat meal with a red wine. The alternative to a Chardonnay salve is a Pinot Gris. Oh, Pinot Gris is too sweet for me.

And yet you have a buttery wine. Oh my God. Number two on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco Penis grease is sweet for me. And yet you have a buttery wine. Yeah. Oh, my God. Number two on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco. Not a Prosecco, a Fosecco. Yeah. Yeah, good. Okay, I've just Wikipedia'd my favorite Prosecco.

It's actually from Tuscany. Trash. Unbelievable. What are you going to call it now? Foseco. Foseco. Foseco works. Foseco, yeah. Foseco works.

And number one on the list of the top six. Tusco. Foseco. Tusco. Tusco. Okay, no. No. Tuscan, no.

No. Tuscany's a region of Italy as well, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. Tuscan Knights. Tuscany's got a lot going for it. God, the architecture.

Is that where they're filming? I was thinking those little puddles of herbs. Where are they filming the new season of White Lotus? That's Sicily. Sicily. That's at the bottom. That's at the bottom. Oh, that looks beautiful.

By the beach. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six alternative names for Prosecco, Negroni Spagliato without the bubbly stuff. Oh. And the bubbly stuff. Negroni Spagliato. Oh, how lovely. Negroni Spagliato. Ne. And the bubbly stuff. The British Spackley old man. Oh, how lovely.

The British Spackley old man. That is today's Top Socks. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, scientists have worked out that cats are carrying an uncontrollable drive to hunt. Uncontrollable drive. Gareth Morgan was correct all these years. He was not wrong. He perhaps didn't.

Articulate it. Yes, tell the story quite right. Yeah. Choice of wording wasn't great. Wasn't great. No, you're the best person here because you keep your cat inside. Yeah. Well, I've got no choice.

I can't. I don't. I live in an apartment. What's it going to go down? Run around the CBD? Yeah. CBD cat. Yeah.

But yeah, I myself will admit I've got uncontrollable drives also. Right. It's not hunting, you know, birds. If there's a big puddle on the side of the road, I've got to hit it. Oh, my God. Vaughn was driving me home the other day, and there was a cardboard box on the motorway and you swerved so close to the barrier to run over it.

Yeah. I said, I'm going to hit that cardboard box. But what if something was in the box? But I mean, the barrier was here and the nose of his car would have been like, and I was like, woo. What are you, a kid? I'm crazy. And the best part is you don't announce that you're going to hit the puddle.

Right. You hold the steering wheel as tight as you can. Because it pulls. In case something pulls. And you just slowly. And if someone's talking and all of a sudden you hit it and there's a wall of water that goes. It's so cool.

God, so good. Yeah, that sounds fine. But I'm also aware of how silly and dangerous that can be because you don't know how deep the puddle is. So you shouldn't do it on roads you're unfamiliar with. Yeah. Or just any road because you could attack a plane. Yeah, okay, man.

But you do. You're like a cat hunter. You just... I can't control... Do you know what my other uncontrollable urge? If I see my wife's bare ass, I've got to smack that cat. Yeah. I've got to give that thing a big whack.

Aaron's exactly the same. I've got to grab that dumper. Really? I've got to smack it. I've got to give that thing a big whack. Erin's exactly the same. I've got to grab that dumper. Really? I've got to smack it. I've got to smack it. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and she went around in a tight pair of jeans. I've got to smack that thing. Boy.

Erin came into the bathroom this morning and I was stark as brushing my teeth. What comes in before 8 a.m. is like, hey. It goes, honk. On your boobies. A little twig on the titties he can't help it yeah he can't help it

you gotta smack that cake he just goes I don't get it with anybody like anybody else yeah right I just I don't walk past anybody in tights

and be like I'm gonna smack that ass I know it's not with anybody else it's just wish I'd had it I'm gonna smack it so at the end of the day you're just a tabby cat with urges.

You're just a tabby cat. I'm just a cat with my own uncontrollable drive. You can't stop it. The hand moves itself. Yeah, whether it be towards a puddle on the side of the road or that delicious ass, you know what I'm saying? There would be uncontrollable urges with food, right? Like, I mean.

Oh, if you open a bag of chips, that thing's not getting rolled up And put it back in the pantry Is it? People that roll up Bags of chips Or chocolate And put them back in the pantry What are you doing?

What's wrong with these people? So great I'll just have a handful Get a life I've got the willpower Get real A life The minute that's opened

It's in big, big trouble Yeah But we want to know Your uncontrollable drives This morning Like what can't you stop yourself doing? It just goes, ah! It just happens. Knee jerk. Yeah. It's primal

function. I mean, you've certainly given a couple of primal examples. A little honk here and a slap there and a little whack whack. Yeah, but maybe it's driving into puddles. Maybe it's food related. Maybe it's like poking a soft surface. You know when you see

something and you're like boop. I've got to put my finger through it. I was with a friend once in the line at Kmart and he just poked an easter egg. And I was like we've got to leave. We've got to leave. I was like we are leaving right now. I'm not going to prison for poking an easter egg in Kmart. That's such bratty behaviour.

I know. You know Kmart only sells junk like real thin. Carol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real thin. Australian chocolate. Yeah, yeah. So the finger goes through too easy. Oh yeah, it snaps. It's all powdery wine. But that's an uncontrollable urge. Do you know my, okay, I've got an uncontrollable urge.

When I'm in a dairy or whatever and I see that they've left the protective film on the FBOS machine, I take it off. Oh my god, you wet. You. I'm not talking about the see that they've left the protective film on the F-Boss machine, I take it off. Oh, my God, you... You... I'm not talking about the glad wrap they put over the whole keypad. But when you see a protective screen cover, I do it at the supermarket. I did one at the supermarket for the new checkout.

Maybe they were saving it. I remember we got a new washing machine a couple of years ago and our friend who was over at our house was like, oh, my God, and I was like, peel the... I was like, no! Well, you left the energy-saving label on. No, no, no, the actual, like, oh my god. And I was like, peel the label. I was like, no. You left the energy saving label on. No, no, no. The actual like over the door.

Take it off. I was going to. I was saving it for a day where I needed to be cheered up. Yeah. It's a good thing you've got to, you know, store these things through a rainy day. Well, we want to take your uncontrollable urges. The things you just cannot help doing when you're out. Like a tabby cat. We're getting a lot of smacks.

A lot of reports of smacks. A lot of booty smacks. But it's not all booty smacks. Somebody said, you're telling me you walk past a bag of potty mix at my determined, they're giving it a good slap. Yes! I love the slapping of potty mix. It's like a tight little ass.

You're like, what? Or what about a luncheon chub? Like a big dog roll. I give that a smack when I'm picking it up to put it in the fridge at home. I'll be like, smack. All right. 0800-DARLS-EVANS-ANOTHER. You can text as well.

9696 to text. The term is uncontrollable drive. It's what cats want to hump the whole time. We want to know your uncontrollable drive. It's what makes cats want to hump the whole time. We want to know your uncontrollable drive. This is making me feel so, like, good. Yeah, I'm living vicariously through everybody's uncontrollable drives is what we're talking about this morning. Cats have it. That's why they'll chase things all the time.

Yeah, I don't think we needed a study to tell us that. No, but we want to know your human uncontrollable drive. Yes. What can you help but do? For me, driving through puddles on the side of the road, somebody messaged in, they live in the same area as we do, Hayley, and there's a couple of purlers on the motorway out there.

Oh, my God, yeah. That bottom of that hill and it curves back up. If you're heading west to Auckland and you've just gone off the end of the motorway and you go past that flower, that coffee shop that I've never seen open, and then down the hill at the bottom of that hill and it curves back up. If you're heading west to Auckland and you've just gone off the end of the motorway and you go past that flower, that coffee shop that I've never seen open, and then down the hill at the bottom there before you start going up the hill on the bridge, that's a safe one to hit. That's good.

Oh, is it? That's a safe one to hit because the road just cambers slightly. I don't think you should be encouraging people to hit puddles. They said, unfortunately, the traffic at the moment is too slow and they can't hit puddles. No, you've got to go at speed. Yeah. So we want to know from you your uncontrollable drives. A couple of these ones.

If anyone yawns, I've got to put my finger in the mouth. Just. Finger in the mouth. I don't want your finger in my mouth. No. That's a weird one. Anybody, they say. It's also not just their loved one.

Lots of smackers messaging in. I said I've got an uncontrollable drive every time I see my wife's bare ass or just an ass and a tight pair of pants. I've got to give that cake a smack. I'm going to smack the cake. She works hard. It deserves praise. What about you when you're going upstairs?

Yeah, if I'm following Aaron up the stairs and he's up first, I can put my finger in his bum. And I'm not talking about, like, poking him on the cheek. I'm talking about how far up can I get it before he starts running. He hates it. Now he'll walk up the stairs with his hands sort of garning the anus. Yeah, right. Look at what you've done to him.

Somebody else messaged they do that as well. Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Following somebody up the stairs. All right, keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DARS at M. Get to more of your

uncontrollable drives next. Play. ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play. ZM. So we're talking about your uncontrollable drives and urges.

The things that you just can't help but do. We were just chatting and I think we've talked about it before, when your cat's been cute. I want to rip its face off of my teeth. There's a name for it. There's a name for it. I think we did a fact of the day once.

There's a name for that uncontrollable urge to like squeeze something. Squeeze something. Yeah. When it's being too cute. Emma, what's your uncontrollable drive? Emma. Emma. Oh, it's me.

That's you, Emma. Emma. What can't you control? I cannot handle seeing a painting on the wall that's crooked. Who would do that? I've got to straighten it. Yeah, who? Who would leave that like that?

Fair enough, fair enough. It's unbearable. Do you reckon you could tell the difference if it was only off by a couple of degrees? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've got that neck too. I'm always like, left stop, no, you've gone too far.

Back, back, back, back, back, back. Now just tap it once with your pinky. I'll do that. I'll move someone's picture if it's a bit off kilter. Yeah, same. If someone's TV's not straight, you're like, sort it out. Sorry, yeah, I can't do this. Gotta sort it.

Yeah, brilliant. Emma, thanks it out. Sorry, yeah, I don't do that. Sort it. Yeah, brilliant. Emma, thanks for your call. Message is in. I can't walk past the cling-filmed pack of bottled water without poking my fingers straight through it. Like a tray of Jolly Drinks. Yes. Now, there's two techniques.

Do you put your fingers on it and slowly push through, or do you just like kung fu? I ram a couple. Do you just ram a couple of fingers straight in? That's so dangerous. Depends what plastic. If it's a hard plastic, you'll hurt your finger. Yeah.

I'm very strong. Yeah. I'm strong of hand. Somebody said when I'm carrying something like a mattress or something big and kind of like awkward, I can't help but when the person's just starting to put it down, give them a little extra push. What? So they drop it? I don't know.

Yeah. A little shunt. Somebody said, I'll add to the power fingering through the water bottle wrapping, toilet bags. Toilet roll bags. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've got the rolls facing up. Whack!

Right through one of the holes. Somebody said they're following somebody up the stairs and giving, of course, this is obviously someone that you know and love and it works both ways. A very consented bumhole. Please don't do it on the way upstairs here at work. You will lose your job. They said we call it the helping finger. The helping finger.

And just kind of nudges them along. God, that'd be good during a marathon if you're like losing steam and then your partner just comes up and whoop. Way to go. Um, somebody said, what about in a shop if there's a whole lot of toys and they're set off by pushing a button on the top? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

All those squeezy dog toys. Oh yeah. Like I saw a video, a guy hugged all of those toys. The chickens. And they all went off at once. If I see a nice, clear, juby plastic rubber, I've got to chew on it for a little bit. Juby rubber.

I don't know about that. Why don't you just get some fruit jubes Yeah I kind of get it though Like Someone said they're walking down the street And the signs The stores have got hanging signs

I've got to jump up and give them a look Yeah That happened in Morrinsville When we were like teenagers And we were walking somewhere at night Someone jumped up and whacked it It came out of the thing And swung down

And just smashed straight through the window Oh no And we were like Run My uncontrollable drive is When I'm following a boy racer car of the thing and swung down and just smashed straight through the window. Oh no. Run. My uncontrollable drive is when I'm following a boy racer car and they have to zigzag over a speed bump and I'm in a Mitsubishi Outlander and I have to do the same thing right behind them

even though I've got so much clearance. Oh yeah, the old avoid for the low car. Yeah. Somebody said my uncontrollable urge is if my partner's doing something, I've got to run and jump on his back and, like, pretend to choke him out. He must love that. That's hot.

That is hot. If I was doing something and Sade jumped on my back and her arm was around my neck, I'd be like, oh, are we on? You couldn't do that with your sore back, though. You're getting too old for that. Get off! ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Trad wife.

Hashtag trad wife. Trad wife. It's trending. And it's not wives in the trades. It is... More and more women getting into the trades. Yeah, they are. I'll tell you what, they do a great job. My mum's got two female builders.

That sounded a little condescending. It did sound a little condescending. I don't mean it to be. Oh my god, my mum's got two female builders and they, they do it all themselves. Meticulous. The women do it all themselves. Yeah, they've got power tools. Fantastic. Yeah, right. Oh, I don't know about that. Have they hurt

themselves? They've all scratched themselves. Oh no. They stop for a little lunch. They get a fright every time the, right. Oh, I don't know about that. Have they hurt themselves? They're a little scratched and stuff. Oh, no. They stop for a little lunch. Do they get a fright every time the drill goes? Oh, my God. Every time the nail gun, they're like, oh! Oh, my God. Oh.

No, I'll go again. I like it. I'll go again. We jest. We jest. We jest. No, they roar. Actually, can I ask?

We had female painters in. Yeah. Female painters? Why did I say it like that? We had female painters in. Yeah. Female painters? Why did I say it like that? Lady painters. Lady painters. There you go. Better than any painters we've had.

Really? Don't their boobs get in the way? They were working around their boobs. What? Phenomenal. I thought they were putting the rollers on their boobs. On their helmet. Yeah, and then with all the boobs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tidy it up. Like at the end of the day, you didn't even know they'd been. You know, tradies are rough buggers, aren't they? Messy shits. Messy pups.

They're messy pups. Don't get me started. Don't get me started. I'm in absolute shambles. So trad wives are not tradie wives. They are... It's a term used

to describe a woman who chooses to focus solely on her family, husband and home rather than doing paid work or having a career. It's a traditional wife. Think about your 1950s wives.

You know, like home, get the kids to school, get them up, da-da-da-da, cook for the husband, pleasant to the husband, doesn't let the husband hear too much of the issues of the day. Oh God. You know, feed out with the slippers and a pipe and a whiskey and I've got dinner and da-da-da-da-da. This was my nana.

She was very much like this. Yes, but not to be confused with a housewife. So this is what a lot of, like, feminists are going. It's like it's not a housewife. There's nothing wrong with being a housewife or a stay-at-home mom or, you know, a housewife where you run the household. You're talking step-fidwives. This is, like, literally what is trending on social media

is this like smiles, frilly aprons, serving. Serving is the kind of keyword. But then also, but wouldn't true feminists be like, well, if that's what a woman wants to do, that is what we should allow her to do. Yeah, who knows? So it's harking back to an early era. Some wanting to celebrate the choice

to not be involved in financial or stressful or work conversations or earning. I don't want to be involved in those conversations either. And I'm not trading a penny, don't I? Yeah. You do. Got the legs for a frilly. You really do.

Oh my God, the pins on this man. Yeah. But that's huge on TikTok and YouTube. There's at Trad Wives Club, the Trad Wives Club. They've got hundreds of thousands of followers. And people just saying like, I just want to stay home and help my husband get further in his life. And I'll take care of all the other stuff. I want him to get further in his life, I'll take care of all the other stuff. That makes me say that I want him to get further in his life,

not our life. Our life. Yeah. So that's what some people are saying. Like, yeah, it's a little confusing in terms of where the desire comes from. Because it's like when my mum left her career as a real estate agent, she became a housewife and she would look after us and cook and make sure my dad had clean clothes and that kind of stuff.

She had her own hobbies and friends and passions and she really enjoyed that. I know a lot of people do enjoy keeping a house. That's why you're called a housewife because you keep the household. But this is different. This is slightly more obedient. Servitude situation.

Yeah, serving. And it's on the rise. Even some people promoting how often you should engage in sexual activity with your husband to keep him pleased. And your appearance as well. If you're a housewife, you're allowed to look like whoever you want, whatever the day takes you. A trad wife has to put on a real effort.

Boobies up, heels on, makeup on. Wow. Look a lippy in the house. It just doesn't feel right though, does it? It feels very in the other direction of where women are going. I mean, I don't think all women have to, now that we're able to, be career focused or, like, choose not to have children,

all that kind of stuff. Like, that's very normalised now. You do you, boo. You do you, boo. But this feels very much the backwards step. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is I was winding up a fence yesterday.

I was moving some stock. I was morning boarding up a bloody fence. Yeah, I bet you were. And I was looking at a couple of the trees we've got now, paddock, and they've gone full leaf. Fully, like, full leaf now.

Oh, yeah. They went from, like, stalkers in winter, they went blossom, and then they went full leaf. And I thought, I wonder how much more a tree weighs

with leaves. Or, like, what about a pahutukawa because they're all dropping their needles, their big Christmassy red needles. Yeah, they're big needly boys. Yeah. pahutukawa? Because they're all dropping their needles. They're big Christmassy red needles. Yeah, they're big needly boys. Yeah.

Pahutukawa. But I was thinking big fat leaves. Yeah, because pahutukawa is evergreen, right? But the pink, the flowers only. Yes, yeah. Comes out in, yeah, yeah, this time of year. The New Zealand Aotearoa Christmas lights. We'll get lines for free.

No power needed. All up and down the cove. But I was thinking, do trees weigh anymore? Of course they do. Of course they do, you silly boy. Where did the leaves come from? You silly goose. Where did the leaves come from? But they're small, like

a human. Jesus. No, no, no. Pre-Jesus. When they're in the tree, they've got to be. They're in there, right? No, but they're small. It's like a baby doesn't weigh the same as an adult. Yeah, I know. But then where does it draw its nutrients from?

It's good that you know that. The ground. Yeah, the ground. But when it's in the tree, when it's in the tree. It's just a little nub. Does the tree get a little bit lighter to provide the weight of the leaf? How would the trunk get lighter? Well, because the nutrients

are being drawn out of it. I don't think you're right. The sugars and the carbohydrates and stuff. Carbs in trees. Oh my god, they don't have carbs. Have you seen how thick those trunks are? They're not on keto. They're getting some sugars. They're getting some carbs, those little thick boys. Well,

what I learned was every tree's different. Okay. Every tree's different. But somebody worked out on a mature tree, they can have up to 200,000 leaves on like, not like a huge, huge tree, but just like an average tree. Not at once or when they're

leaving. When they're leaving. No, all at once. They can have 200,000 leaves on a tree. Wow. So individually, that doesn't mean once, but when they're leaving. When they're leaving. No, all at once. They can have 200,000 leaves on a tree. What? Yeah, wild, eh? So individually that doesn't mean much, but if every tree is like approximately, every leaf is approximately like five grams,

store concluded, it could make a difference of over 750 kgs to a medium-sized mature tree. Wow. So those massive, massive trees. Then. No wonder when they fall through people's

houses during a tornado and a heavy wind. Does some damage. Does some damage. So that's what then I thought. I was like, okay,

so that's just the weight of the leaf, but that doesn't weigh much. What was it, like five grams a leaf? Yeah. But if then it rains

and the rain is sitting on the leaves just before it rolls off, it must get so much heavier. Yeah. Because it adds, and then I was like. And the birds, sitting on the leaves just before it rolls off. Oh, yeah. It must get so much heavier. Yeah. Because it adds. And then I was like. And the birds?

Add birds on? Chuck, they famously weigh a ton. A couple of fat pigeons. Get some kitty doing this. Yeah, they weigh a whole lot more. Yeah. But then I was like, well, what about the weight of the water on trees? Chuck, and a bit of wind,

how much heavier are these trees during a storm? Yeah. And there's a lot of wet weather going around at the moment and a bit of a blustery wind with it as well. And then, yeah, I read that as much as this is today's fact of the day because I couldn't find a definitive answer on the difference in weight in trees because, well, trees are different. As we said, some are evergreen, some aren't.

That you are more likely to have a tree come down when it's raining as well as windy because of the extra weight. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. So the wind is one thing, but you'll add water to it, you're way more likely to lose a tree. No wonder they've got such deep root systems wrapping themselves around anything they can find underground. They're amazing things, aren't they, trees?

Yeah. Not a fan? Nah, more of a concrete gal. You're a concrete gal? Yeah, more of a concrete gal myself. I can't believe you didn't have your pin for a concrete gal. Oh yeah, so today's fact of the day is when it rains as well as windy, you're way, way more likely to have a tree come down. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Fletchford and Hayley. Hello, Silly Little Pole. Would you rather choose your own gift or have it be a surprise? 44% of people said, choose my own gift. 56% of people said, have a surprise. So it's pretty close. Yeah. There are some people out there that just cannot trust their partner to buy them the correct gift.

But when I'm surprised by a gift and it goes well, I love it. Like, that's so joyful. Because it's thoughtful? Yes. And you sort of go like, oh my gosh, how did you nail this? This is so funny. They were listening to you. You said something like, I would love one of these things. I know. And then surprise, you've got one. I remember a couple of years ago, Aaron bought me a Deadly Ponies wallet. Wow. He's a good boy. There he is right there. Unprompted. Unprompted. And I opened it and I saw the Deadly Ponies box and I was like, oh my God.

And that image of him walking into Deadly Ponies and going, hello. Hello. What am I doing here? And then he would have looked at a handbag. Do you have your power and gas and broadband with one hand? That's how I imagine Aaron entering his door. Greg Grover, oh my God, Greg Grover from Nova.

Yeah. But it's like it was nice to think of him doing that. Greg Grover, they're like, oh my god, Greg Grover from Nova. Yeah. But it's like it was nice to think of him doing that. But then also sometimes I'm like, send him a link and go, that. That. Bookmark this. That dress, this size. In your bookmarks folder called

Possible Presence. From Aaron. I'll let you know if these need to be deleted at any stage. Yeah, but quite 50-50. Yeah, quite close. Jess kind of sums it up. My heart wants a surprise, but my head wants to choose my own gift. That way I don't have to pretend to like something that's very not me.

So exactly, your heart wants someone to have listened and thought about it and curated something, but your head's just like I'll just tell you what I want. Because there's nothing worse than someone, you know someone's spent money on something and you just look at it and you're like I don't need this or want it. Yeah. You're just like this was just all a waste of money. This is only adding to

inflation. I know. Unnecessary spending adding to inflation. That's why no one in my family's getting Christmas presents this year because we're keeping the OCR down. Yes. You're doing it for the first home owners.

Yeah, exactly. I'm doing it for the landfill where it eventually will end up. No doubt. Maybe via a Salvation Army. Can we still get a refund

for that Deadly Ponies present for Hayley? Yeah, I can take it back. She just said she didn't want presents. I don't want it. Yeah. Okay.

Please don't take it from me. Another Hayley says,, I can take it back. She just said she didn't want presents. I don't want it. Yeah. Okay. Please don't take it from me. Another Hayley says, only after I've dropped many, many, many instructions I won out of three choices ranked in order of importance and established a gift exchange will be in play. Man, I love being surprised. Do you? This is what I do with my parents.

It's my mum's birthday. My dad rings me and goes, can you help me decide what mum wants for her birthday? And I go, yeah, yeah, I'm on it. And then I ring mum, I'm like, what do you want for your birthday? And she goes, I've seen this. And I go, sweet, sweet, sweet.

And then I ring my dad and I say, this is what she wants. And then she gets it and mum's like, oh my God, he knew. How did he know? He knew. But they know what they're both doing. Yeah, right.

Because it's happened for, how old am I? Forever. It's happened for about 30 years. It's happened for a long time. My parents don't really buy each other presents, I don't think. They put their best hand right. It's weird, my parents will write each other a nice birthday card. Oh, yeah.

Is it just to Christine and then the message? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but it's always got like a little bit of something. A message to my wife on her birthday. Yeah, yeah. My woman. What a good woman. Courtney says, surprise, but awful wish list of stuff that I have definitely chosen.

Yeah, yeah. Emily says, I love a surprise, but let's be real. It'll only be a massive letdown, so I'd rather choose my own gift. I'll say all of the respondents so far have had one thing in common. Women. Mm-hmm. I'll say all of the respondents so far have had one thing in common Women Rhiannon said I choose my own gift because most of the time I don't really know what I want So how the hell will anybody else know what I want? True A little self-reflection there

Melissa says literally surprised my husband for his birthday this morning with PT sessions. He's been talking about joining the gym. This did not go down well. No. I bet it did. Think about it. The shoe is on the other foot, Melissa. Would you like for your birthday to receive forced exercise sessions?

A PT session and a slap on the bum. Yeah. That's something you've got to buy yourself. You can't buy something else. No. Rhiannon, another one says, I want others to struggle as much as I do to get good gifts for everybody. If I have to suffer, so should they.

I mean, there's the reason for the season. If you have to suffer, why shouldn't everybody? That's what Jesus said when he was on the cross. Yeah, he did. I forgive him, Father, but at the same time, I'm suffering, so it's only fair everybody else should be, you know, metaphorically. There were a couple of other fellas up there with cross. Yeah, he did. I forgive him, Father, but at the same time, I'm suffering, so it's only fair everybody else should be, you know, metaphorically.

Well, there are a couple of other fellas up there with him. Yeah. Suffering as well. They didn't have much to say. They just wanted to die in silence. Yeah. Ashley said,

I like that they've put effort into thinking about men finding something themselves even if it's shit. Yeah, I like that too. I like that too. Good thing you don't use it and you chuck it out.

Oh, honestly, wear it once or twice. They don't know. Yeah, okay. They don't know. Sheesh. Well, the AA and Kantar have done a study. Road rage and driving in New Zealand.

A third of Kiwis this year have experienced road rage. A third? I would have thought it was higher than that. Now, what? Do you think they just like, you know if you're at the lights and you're on your phone and it goes green, but you're still sitting there and someone goes, is that road rage? Well, what kind of, give me the toot? No.

No. Me. Getting rage here. No. Meep. Getting ragey. Yes. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep.

Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. Meep. the most is aggressive lane changing to get ahead. Especially like heading out west, there's often three, maybe sometimes four lanes. Yep. Usually three. And if someone in the fast lane, the far right lane, isn't quite going fast enough, even though they're probably breaking the speed limit, then someone comes up behind them,

gets real close, and then ducks into the left lane, and then goes right, and then you just see them like zigzagging the whole way home. No, she just pulls in right behind me and flashes her lights and toots. I have literally tooted it for him to be like, get out of the fast lane. His chimney can't go that fast. Then get out of the fast lane. It's as fast as I can go, so I should be in the fast lane.

Yeah, but you should only be in the middle or the left lane. I've got into this habit now. I just get into the middle lane and I just put it on cruise control at 95, sometimes 93, and I just cruise. But why don't you put it on 100? I don't want to. This is my whole energy in life. It's like life's too short for 93.

It's too short for 93. Yeah. 110 and there's an extra five minutes in the day to do something. If something could be done quicker, I'm going to be doing it quicker. So in Auckland. Canterbury, road rage was the highest. Oh, Canterbury, I can understand why. Yeah, streets are all higgledy-piggledy. And then all of a sudden there's a new one-way street.

Yeah, one was a one-way last week, and now it's going the other way this week, and then that one's not open. I can completely understand why there's this. And Cantabrians do that thing where they'll go into an intersection where they want to turn, but the traffic's going straight through on greens both ways. And they'll do that thing where they go into the middle of an intersection

and then when it goes orange and the cars come the other way, stop, they'll go whoop and stop. I do. Why can't you do that? That's so naughty. No, you're allowed to wait there to turn. It's a real Cantabrian trick, that one. No, I love that trick.

But you squeak through when the other person stops on an orange or a red, and then you go, whoop, and you don't have the green. You just go, whoop. You'll be waiting there forever. Yeah. So naughty. If it's safe to do so. In Canterbury and Auckland, 31% of respondents had been involved

in violent incidences on the road. 22% of people in Wellington had been involved in violent road rage. I had one. Yeah, that's violent. I had one yesterday or the day before. I was at Mitre 10 and I was coming down and I missed the driveway into Mitre 10. So I pulled into the next driveway to do a Yui, like to back out. And then as I backed out,

there was a truck that was trying to come into the driveway that I'd pulled into. I was like, well, I'd better back out so he can come in. And then I was sort of on the side, indicating to come out. And then I came out and I slightly cut off a guy, slowed down his speed, and he did a

big, low, long toot. So then I did one back and then he did one back and then I did one back and we were like and I was having fun with him. I was really rocking him up. I know that's when someone's raging at you the best response is a friendly

wave and a laugh. I always do that. Because it gets people so riled up. Did I tell you about the time that I flipped the bird at someone who was tailgating me? No, no. They were doing something dumb. Yeah. And I sort of put my hand out the window. This is when I lived in Wellington.

I pulled the finger. Yeah. And then there was like a group of them and they aggressively started... Boxing you in. Putting their nose to my tailbar and following me like that. That close. And I was like, oh my God, I nose to my tailbone and following me like that, that close. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm in trouble here. They're going to follow me home.

So I pulled into another lane and I stopped. And they pulled up next to me. They're like, what's your problem? And I was like, no, no, no, I was just throwing something out the window. I absolutely took it. I was like, no, no, I was just throwing something out the window. And they were like, oh, we're so sorry. Like, oh, sorry, we thought you were flipping us off.

I was like, no. Wow, so that's the day you nearly got beaten up. Yeah. Great. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Yesterday, what were we chatting about? White Lotus.

White Lotus. White Lotus. The second season. We were talking about, you know, big holidays and... And it doesn't ruin anything, but the second season. We're talking about, you know, big holidays. And it doesn't ruin anything, but the second season starts, as the first one does, there's someone dead at the resort. Someone's dead, we don't know who. And you don't find out until the last episode. Well, we still don't know who, exactly.

And season two, for the record, as good. It's so great. Yeah, so we were talking about this in terms of it being sort of an outrageous storyline, in which point, producer Carl Ween, good morning. Hello. So you slipped in a little tale from your childhood. Yeah, it's a bit of an awkward one.

Like I don't tell many people, I guess, but I'm telling the radio. So when you told us yesterday, we were all just like, what? Correct me if I'm wrong, we stopped Carwain when she started telling the basis of the story because we wanted to all hear it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're learning that she doesn't tell people the story because there's trauma attached to it. We didn't know that

when we... No, no, not trauma. And if you don't want to tell it, you don't have to tell it. No, no, no. It's more just, it's like, how does that come up

in conversation, you know? It's too late now. Yeah, we've promised it to the people promises i was just trying to sound like the nice oh you were just a big nice okay that's good balance kind of right kind of three monsters you know you two yeah a couple of shock drops over here you we wouldn't say where you were staying but it was at like a white at a resort yeah yeah, which reminds me of White Lotus. And when I was quite young, we were there and unfortunately witnessed someone pass

at the resort. In front of your eyes? Yes. They fell off something. They fell off something. Something that they shouldn't have been on or something that the resort had overlooked in the form of safety? Who's at fault?

I don't actually know. I think that they were up there regularly. But it was a worker. It was a worker. It was part of their job. Oh! Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It was really sad, actually. How old were you when this happened? Because this would ruin me as an adult. I couldn't, I don't want to see that. I don't think I was anything older than maybe like 11. My mum's listening. She's going to be like, you should remember this.

She's blocking it. But I was quite young. Catherine, she's blocking it out. It probably explains why you can handle us on a daily basis. Yeah, sometimes things happen and you're just like, eh. And I'm like, what? Well, at least then no one's dead. Yeah.

Yeah. But it did result in my mum and I getting a free trip to Thailand. This is wild. They got combo. So where were you when you witnessed this? Australia. It was in Australia at a resort there. And they were like so horrified that you'd witnessed this

and maybe thought you'd take legal action. Yeah, I don't think they thought that, but they were very, like, they looked after us. We got to see, like, talk to a therapist about stuff. They helped us extend our trip to go somewhere else within Australia to just, you know... God, the White Lotus are really good, aren't they? Yeah, they really are.

And then, yeah, and then once we'd got back to New Zealand and we'd been here for a bit, they got in contact and were like, hey, we still feel a bit bad. Would you like a trip to another destination that we have locations at? Oh, it sounds like you could have sued them for a lot of money if they're giving you free holidays to Thailand.

Imagine if this was in the TikTok age. This would have all been on TikTok. It would have been on the talk. It would have been him falling off the roof like, and then back again, and then back again with some sort of like, oh my god, I just saw this guy fall from the roof. Now I'm in Thailand. Now I'm in Thailand. Thank you, White Lotus.

Yeah, well, I enjoyed the trip to Phuket. Yeah. So they paid for flights and accommodation. What year did you go to Phuket? Because I love Thailand, but Phuket's gone bad. Like last time I was there it was very lucky. But you got that

post tsunami holiday special. I got the post tsunami holiday special. That was perfect Phuket. And then I can't believe that you cashed in on a natural disaster

to get a cheap holiday. I've done it multiple times and I'll do it again. You go somewhere after there's been a natural disaster. It's cheaper, yes. That's why you went

to New Orleans all those years ago. Yeah, 2007 straight to New Orleans. those years ago? Yeah, 2007, straight to New Orleans. You go afterwards, you're helping them. You're helping the tourism economy.

They love having people back. People are a little bit scared to go. So it's quite a selfless holiday you're taking. Very selfless. Yeah. Thank you for bringing

that up, actually. Very selfless. How was your Phuket? It was good. No, we were there post-tsunami as well, actually. There were life jackets in our bedroom. Oh, you're beautiful. That's reassuring, we were there post-tsunami as well, actually. There were life jackets in our bedroom.

Oh, you're beautiful. That's reassuring, isn't it? I don't know if that's reassuring. Yeah. Gosh. So would you say, for what you saw, you were adequately compensated? Yeah, absolutely. What a horrible thing to witness, though, as a child.

So sad. But life happens, hey? That's good. You know, when you email a company, you're like, I've got a complaint about this thing, and they say, we'll send you some vouchers. Last night I ordered Hell's Pizza for Aaron, and it arrived like an hour and a half late

or something like that. And then Aaron said, oh, they're going to send you some vouchers. I was like, great, we'll get some free pizzas. Free delivery on our next order. Oh, you've got to spend money to save money. That's why. I've not been fairly compensated for the delay.

My boy was hungry. What do you want, a poo-cat holiday? A poo-cat holiday wouldn't go amiss. Hell. I mean, Carwin certainly put it into perspective. You didn't witness somebody dying. No, but I might have had Aaron gone hungry for a minute longer. Yeah, true.

He's a big boy and he gets hungry. He does get hungry, doesn't he? But we've thought this morning, and I don't know if this is an impossible phone or this would happen much, but have you ever been compensated for whatever reason? For something that went wrong. Did you go to prison?

Did you serve a life sentence? And they went, sorry, you're innocent, and then the government pays you $10 million. I mean, I don't think we'll get many of those calls government pays you $10 million. I mean, I don't think we'll get many of those calls. Oh, $100 million. I mean, it's possible. I was thinking more of,

yeah, you complain or you experience something that's so bad that they're like, well, here's some money or here's a free holiday. Or when you, you know,

when you get a bag of snack pack chips and one of them's just air and you send a photo and you send it to Bluebird, you're like, hey, Bluebird, what's up with this? And they're like, we are so sorry. And they send you big bags of chips even though you just ate the chips.

What, you lied to a big chip? You lied to a big chip? You lied to a big chip? You lied to the penguin? We used to do it at high school. I'm sorry. Really? James Sproul?

You piece of shit. You are a piece of shit. I like chips. I can't believe they bought it. Shame on them. Shame on them. I had free chips. I had Dominion's, Chippin' Penguins.

What were you thinking? 0800 dials at Emerson number. You can text as well, 9696. Have you been compensated for something? Well, yesterday after the show, producer Carween told us that as an 11-year-old, she saw somebody at a hotel die. One of the workers.

So the resort compensated her by sending her and her mum to Thailand for a free trip. Because if health and safety wasn't loose enough in Australia they decided to go to Thailand. They're like, you wanna see bad? You wanna see bad? You wanna see some real loose safety practices? You wanna see overloaded power lines and scaffolding with sticks? I love their power

lines in Thailand. And then when you walk past them and they're like Yeah, it's loose. It's loose. So we want to know if you've ever been compensated for whatever reason. Big or small. And so many messages and calls in. It's amazing. And some of them you're like, that was quick hush money.

You could have got so much more. In 1999, as a 17-year-old, I was working at a theatre. Oh, okay. And I was electrocuted by faulty equipment. I got 300 bucks. Not bad. Whoa. 300 bucks.

No, but if you're a student, you're like, oh my God, yes. I was 17 in 1999. I would have yummed up 300 bucks. I would have gone back for another one. What's the place that sues them? Does a workplace incident? Osh.

Osh. No, it's something else now, isn't it? WorkSafe. WorkSafe would have literally fined them tens of thousands of dollars or hundreds.

And you would have got money. But anyway, $300 cash in the hand, not too bad, not too bad, not too bad. My mum,

not my mum, this is what the text says, my mum got a literal poisonous weed in her salad from a salad outlet. No good. We couldn't even get a reply from them for compensation. Really? They just stonewalled us.

I want to know what was the poisonous, if you're still listening, what was the poisonous weed? Yeah. Are we talking like irritant poisonous or are we talking like kills dogs poisonous? I want to know what was the poisonous, if you're still listening, what was the poisonous weed? Because are we talking like irritant poisonous or are we talking like kills dogs poisonous? Yeah. Wow. Might make the salad a bit nutty.

You know that salad that's nutty? What's that? I don't like that nutty salad leaf. Rocket. Yeah, yuck. My mum doesn't like rocket. It's my number one. No, no, not number one.

I don't mind a little bit. A char-grilled cos. That's not a leaf type. Char-grilled cos. Who are you? Who are you? Char-grilled leaf. Low nutritional value in a char-grilled cos.

But it's got scorch marks on it, so in my mind I'm like, it's a little bit like a steak. It's a lettuce steak. It's a lettuce steak. It's a lettuce steak. Okay, we'll get through more of these texts. We've got to ask some calls next as well. The times you've been compensated. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. Sorry about that. We were just chatting about Only Murders in the Building. Is it worth a watch? Yeah, yeah. I'm like 25 minutes away from the end of it. And I'm just going to say, Episode 7, if you've watched Only Murders in the Building, Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selene Gomez are the main names in it.

Episode 7's just, it's won awards for its sound mixing and stuff. Episode 7's just phenomenal. You won't even realise what's happening until you're about halfway through the episode. Beautiful piece of television. We got onto that because of the dead guy at the resort that Karween

Karween saw as a child which we just to clarify her mother she said 11 originally? 8. 8. She was 8 years old.

I've got an 8 year old and I just can't imagine how that would go down as a parent witnessing something like that. That's terrible. they got a free holiday to Thailand.

We want to know when you've been compensated. And there are some insane stories coming through. Insane stories that you kind of almost want to make each one like its own story. Like give it a half an hour for this person to tell the story. And we call it compensation. Compensation. Love it.

We can start with Hayley's episode about the free biscuit. Free chips. Free chips. Let's episode about the free biscuit, free chips. Free chips. Let's go to David. David, when were you compensated? So back in 2007, my family had an addiction to cruises. Oh, okay. Did you go raspberry or lime?

Gone to cruises, yeah. So I don't know if you guys remember that cruise that got stranded in Vanuatu after that huge storm we had. And so we were on that. We were flown to, after that, like, they realized the cruise was, you know, doomed or whatever. So they flew us to New Caledonia, put us up in this five-star hotel. The next cruise we were taking was our fifth one.

So I think you get, like, 20% off for your first cruise of P&O. So good on them. Big cut out. And then because they obviously drove us straight into a storm that nearly sunk the ship, they gave us 65% off our next cruise. So on our fifth one, we went on this ridiculous cruise, and that cost about $100. Oh, wow.

Okay. That's a good compo. Good compo. Yeah, that's pretty good compo. To be honest, David, when I saw David Cruz written on the show, I thought you were going to tell us about the time you were stuck on a cruise ship when the COVID pandemic broke out and you were just stuck off the coast of Japan for weeks on end, a ship full of sick people with diarrhea.

David, thanks for your call. Ella, when did you get compensation? So I have a little van and I went away and I was in the middle of nowhere and I bought some potato chips as a snack. Yep. And it wasn't for that. I've got a hand for potato chips. You should. Well, I don't know if they're potato chips.

They're an orange, you know, gets on your fingers. A corn-based snack. A corn-based cheese-flavoured snack. No names. No names, because we have a fire. No, yeah, I'm being careful. Chances are they'll be running a promo on the station at some stage soon, and this is

you know, we've got bills to pay, Ella, we can't have you scaring off potential advertisers. Yeah, Ella, do you want to pay my mortgage? Ella, do you want to pay my mortgage? Hayley's already doing free posts to Bluebird for making up for this whoopsie she had with ripping them off as a teenager. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'll pay it all back. I'll pay every dollar back. So what happened in your van with these orange chips? It wasn't until about halfway through that I look in and there is, I call, I mean, I'm using the word lost, but it wasn't, it was red. And like I was looking it up, I couldn't figure out what it was. A hornet?

And it had six legs. I was like, geez, should I notify someone that this is in our country? Like I was freaking out. Right. Yeah. How do you know that it wasn't already in your van and when you opened the pack, it went in? No, because when I opened it, I was just sitting in the seat, eating hand to mouth. I hadn't moved.

It was dead. Oh, wow. And then I contacted the company and, you know, I was like, are your prep still off to scratch? And they sent me a $6 voucher. A $6 voucher. Yeah, that's two packs. Or if they're on special, maybe three. So that's not bad.

Well, I also could get drinks because they own another company. So, yeah. You could have gone for a drink. Yeah, well, okay. Six bucks. I was nowhere and I had no snacks because I was wearing snacks. So, Carlin got a free trip to Thailand and you got six bucks

to spend on chips. To be honest, if I found a wasp in a packet of orange chips, I'd still eat the other chips. I'd probably lick the flavor off the wasp to be totally honest.

It's at the end, you know, I'm hitting the bag. I'm going to be hitting that wasp for a little ah, ah, ah,

ah, ah, ah. Ah, Ella. Yum. All the way in Hold it by the sting

Would be my advice Because you don't want that Yeah yeah yeah Posthumously They can still whip you And then Like a bone Yeah

Lick the flavour off the walls Ella thank you You called some messages in My mother slipped on a piece of fruit At a supermarket Again I won't say what supermarket Because I don't want to scare off Any potential advertisers

If you are listening and you own a business and you're interested in advertising, please contact our advertising. Please do. Well, especially this one because Hayley and I need to go and pick up two boxes of Prosecco

after the show. Don't we do? Well, I don't know if it's the same supermarket and the supermarket shall go unnamed. My mom slipped on a piece of fruit and they send her a basket of fruit as an apology. Oh, my God. Torturing.

Yeah. That's just rubbing salt in the wound, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Oh, there's so many good ones. Should we do a podcast special? I think we should do a podcast special. Oh, that would be great. If you want to hear more, listen to the podcast on iHeartRadio.

We'll do a little special at the end. There was a couple I could cover off. We're on the way back from the UK and our plane caught on fire. We were compensated $7,000, but I still have never been able to fly again. What caught on fire? They just say our plane caught on fire. I don't know if it was the engine or what. I'll spend that $7,000 voucher.

Yeah. Same. A few years ago, I was at a restaurant in Parnell on a waiter trip and covered my friends in a red curry. Okay. Yes. I've covered my friends in a red curry. I'm talking head to toe.

That's not like go to the bathroom and dab it off. No, that's go home. And you're never wearing any of those clothes again because curry stain doesn't come out. Famously. They paid for us all to replace all of our clothes that weren't able to be cleaned, which was, as I said, everything.

Oh my God, and I was wearing Chanel that night. You were, famously. We got a meal voucher to come back that covered the next meal and they paid for our food that night. That's pretty good. That's good. You can't complain about that.

Good on them. And also, you probably still licked the curry off your own clothing. I would have been wringing out the tikka masala

from my sweater straight into my mouth. Now we slide, this is where we slide in. This is where we slide in with some more feedback because, Carwin, you don't see this on the podcast.

You don't hear it, but Carwin always gives us the emoji clock. And she's like, she's basically like, shut the fuck up. We're late. Yeah. She gets very angry behind the scenes. She always sounds so happy, doesn't she? She's actually such a bitch.

Yeah. Well, it's probably because she saw a dead person when she was eight. Yeah, I mean, it explains so much. She's so mean. In fact, did you see the photos her mum sent from the holiday? The dead person? I didn't see the photos of the dead person. No, they didn't.

Her mum got snap happy. They had to pull that film out of the camera and just walk it out and overexpose it so I could never see the light of day. But more messages in are when you got compensation. Yeah, I only got five polar pies in a box of six. So Tip Top sent me ice cream and vouchers. Yeah, good on you, Tip Top.

That's good. How dare they only put five polar pies, which of course used to be called E-word pies. E-O-R-T-O-R-O-N-I-E-T-O-R-R-A On the end there. We don't have time for this. Yeah, we don't. Ra on the end there. Ra. I thought it was a wa.

Wa, maybe I'm wrong. Chances are it's me. When I was a kid, my hobby was to write to companies complaining about their food products and get free stuff. I would do weekly deliveries. I did that too. My friend and I did that in school holidays. And we got so much stuff. Just complain about shooting your free stuff. I would do weekly deliveries. I did that too. My friend and I did that in the school holidays and we got so much stuff. Just complain about shooting free stuff. And then we freaked out because they gave vouchers

and they were all from the same voucher company. There must have been a company that dealt with complaints. Like a parent company. A parent, yeah, or just a voucher company. And so all of our names were on the same vouchers for all these different products. And so we just cashed them all in and then donated them to the food bank.

I know charity. Wow. That's nice. That's early. What you would have seen there, ladies and gentlemen, the early stages of Fletcher's Charity. So we were like, well, if we get caught, we gave it to charity. We're pretty much Robin Hood of the- You are the Robin Hood of the modern day.

Of the modern day, yeah. Wow. I had a dry cleaners turn my wedding dress an awful baby pink. So they paid me out $3,500, which is great because you were never going to use that again. No, you weren't. You were never going to use that again. Yeah. Oh my God, devastating though.

I had an elderly lady fall and unfortunately pass while I was holding her wound and trying to keep her, you know, alive. I received a bottle of wine and then they say I now feel ripped off

Lol Unsure whether or not This is appropriate for radio Why were you holding the wound? Well she hurt herself You know old people They come open Like a bloody bag of Maltesers

Oh no I thought they were Holding the wound And then you got Maltesers All over the carpet Of the restaurant Are they still good? This one was wild And I wanted to read it on radio

But I was just like The thing about radio Is you can get in trouble because anybody can be listening. But you've chosen to listen to this podcast so you can be a bit more. Like kids when you were talking about titties and hooters. Yeah, or I talked about titties a little bit today actually. Aaron comes up to me when I'm standing naked and just goes. Now that might not have been on the podcast yet

because of the changed order of things, which is doubled, which I have said was a great idea it turned out it doubled our average time listening He was permanently for it I was permanently for it As you all well know So that might not have been talked about Or it may have already been talked about I don't know

Who knows I don't know how this works anymore This is basically a fucking episode of What any jumpy jumpy TV show Yes Which there's a new one on Netflix now you can watch in any order, and the order you watch them will tell you a different story. What?

No. You tell me how to watch it. Oh. Yeah, no, I want to be told. Yeah, same. Yeah. This one is up to you. So this was a text message I had read on Radio Astro.

I was like, oh, my God. My granddad was murdered in 1980, and the ACC gave my grandma $10,000. That is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 words. But there's a whole lot of story there, isn't there? Yeah, that's part of your family's history. Does the ACC pay out if one of your family members is murdered? Maybe if it's the person that provides you Someone If grandad's the bread earner

Yeah But $10,000 isn't going to go far No way If you've just lost your sole source of income Yeah Jeepers Um Murdered

Last night we actually found something in our bread And I'm thinking of sending pictures to see what we can get more But if you found something in your bread There's no need for the evil laugh at the end You found something in your bread Yeah You can get more ha-ha-ha-ha. But if you found something in your bread, there's no need for the evil laugh at the end. You found something in your bread. Yeah, that's not wrong. You can get bread. I'm always in two minds about people that, like,

go on Facebook pages or reach out to the press when they find something in food. Go to the people. And if they don't deal with it, then go to the press. But even then, if it's a loaf of bread or a biscuit, like, who cares? Just tell them there's something in there. Yeah, I know, but what if it's like a whole chicken foot?

Remember that was recently. Yeah, that's true. But then how many, like you literally admitted to doing this as a teenager. Like how many of these complaints are taking the piss? So many of them would be. Another message in, somebody said we were on a flight as a family and someone opened the overhead locker, the overhead on a plane.

A bottle of whiskey that someone had from Judy Free fell out and donged my dad on the head. He started bleeding profusely. It wasn't that bad, but apparently, you know when your glasses sit across the bridge of your nose? Oh, yeah. And hit that and it made his nose bleed and there was blood. Always be careful when opening the overhead lockers.

Yes. Items may have moved or shifted in transit. The whole family got upgraded to business class for the next leg of their trip. Okay, next time we're on a plane. Punch me in the nose. Someone's got to start bleeding. Punch me in the face. Punch me in the face.

We're going upstairs, baby. Wow. We found a fly in a can of Waddy's chicken. I don't know. Chicken came in a can. Chicken soup? What's that? Eh?

I want to say ooh. Did I read the other day that... Oh, ooh. Oh, no. The little... Maybe the little, like, tuna cans. Oh, yeah. Tuna.

But did I read the other day that America does a whole roast chuck in a can? Oh, yeah. They do a chicken can. Like a tear-open can. They do a burger in a can. Have you seen those? Yeah, and there's pies in cans. It seems like a wasteful use of can.

It does. Cans are for your wet, sloppy casserole goods. Canned whole chicken. Sweet Sue from the kitchen of Sweet Sue. Sweet Sue needs a fuck off. I'm not eating a canned chicken. I want to say ooh again. Fully cooked.

I'm going to give that a big fat ooh. Can I get a second thing on an ooh? I'm in America in, what, 30-something days. You're going to get canned chicken. I'm finding I'll bring back a canned chicken. You're going to the southern states, dude. Those things are going to be on every fucking street corner. They love their chicken, and they're not afraid of a canned good.

I'll bring some back. Do I have to say? I don't want it. Do you have to declare it? Yeah, well, that's a longer lie. Although now they're making everyone, there's no free lane at the airport anymore. No, there's not. When you land because of Hayley bought back foot and mouth from Bali.

That'd be right. Oh, I did. So sorry. So no, you have to put your bags through the thing anyway. So it doesn't matter to clear or not now. Producer Jared said he saw a TikTok with someone opening a can to chicken and it was gelatinous AF. Yeah. Oh, I want to flop it into a slow cooker straight from the can?

No, it's cooked. It's cooked. It looks like jelly now. I'm just playing. Someone here is doing a taste test. Whole chicken in a can. Chicken in a can. Chicken in a can.

You're not supposed to skip that, aren't you, YouTube Premium? No, it's not logged in. Oh, okay. It's smaller than I thought. It's like a spatchcock chicken. A what? Spatchcock hen. Oh, look at it. Oh, it's so small It's like a spatchcock chicken. A what? Spatchcock hen. Oh, look at it.

Oh, it's so small. It's a spatchcock chicken. Why? It hasn't been cooked. That's raw. No, it's been cooked. It's a whole. Is it like steamed or something?

Yeah. Boiled. I'm out. That's gross. That's disgusting. So anyway, we found a fly in a can of Waddy's chicken. They confirmed it had been cooked with the chicken after we sent it back to them. We received a $10 Waddy's voucher as compensation.

$10? And they're like, oh, nothing to worry about. This fly has also been through the homogenization process. It's cooked and preserved. It's pasteurized. It's absolutely fine. My son tried to go back up the elevator at Farmers, got his fingers stuck in the elevator teeth.

Had to call the ambulance and the next day had surgery. They gave us a three pack of mini candle set and an Easter bunny. Your kid was the one that went up the escalator. You're not supposed to. Any injury incurred. That's on you. While going back up the escalator. You can never have enough candles.

You were the child. I know you can't. You know me, I love a candle. Yeah. I like a good candle. Meaning to do that order, we've got a work order that we can get cheap candles. Okay. If I bring home another candle, I risk losing my husband-to-be.

Is he done? There's so many. He's like, we don't need any more of these. We're gifting them. And I'm like, no, we're not. I can think of a million places to put them. Don't stop sending me candles, please. It'll be great.

And when your old house catches fire, it's just going to smell so, so good. It's going to smell so good. As you're standing on the side of the road watching a burn down, the native timber's going to burn hot. Is that vanilla? It's going to smell so good when it burns. And the side of the road watching it burn down. The native timber is going to burn hot. The timber smells so good when it burns. And it's going to smell like delicious French beer.

Yum. Delicious French beer. Thank you for joining us for this segment of the podcast we're going to call The Slip-In. Well, now we've got to slip out. And you've made the slip-out hard because they would have just put a thing in. Is it going to be a messy slip-out? Thank you for joining us for The Slip-In. And now we're just going to slip it out.

Oh, why'd you do that? That was more of a slip in sound, wasn't it? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So Hooters. We don't have a Hooters in New Zealand. It's a family restaurant? It's a family restaurant? It's a family... It's a restaurant.

It's a restaurant famously known and depicted in films as being all about the waitresses who wear hot pants and low-cut tops. Skimpy uniforms. Skimpy uniforms and are encouraged to have their tatas up and out. Not topless. Like, that's not their thing at all. That's why it's called Hooters, right? Because of the Hooters.

Because you're Hooters. But then there's an owl. The logo is an owl. The I's of the O's are owls, not nipples. You would think this wouldn't be a thing in this day. I know, but a lot of people speak, who work at Hooters, who are Hooter girls, are like, no, I love it.

Well, because they get the tips. They get the tips, man. And do you know what it's most well known for is it's chicken wings. Yes. Now, we went to Hooters on the Gold Coast primarily for chicken wings. Did we?

Yes. Because I don't remember going i i was like it's a foggy memory but we didn't know we went to hooters and there were chicken wings and we ate a lot of chicken wings simling wasn't part of the sanctioned gold coast tourism trip i don't believe no did you promote it no no no i believe i think it's closed down on the gold yeah it has i just i just looked at it right well it's definitely known for being a place where maybe the lads would go. You'd go for a fun kind of wild night out in some delicious chicken wings. Beers and wings, burgers, fries.

For the wings, I was overseas and it was just in the tourist area and I knew they had great wings. Hooters, yeah. Probably not. World famous wings. Let's talk about these wings. Boneless wings. Original Hooters style wings. Don't come at me with boneless wings.

Yeah, I'm ready for a boneless wing. Oh, no, no. I've got to go on the bone. You've got to go on the bone. Yeah, I know. Daytona Beach naked wings. Do they do fried pickles? Protester Jared's wondering.

Yum. Oh, I don't have it. Oh, the Hootertizers. Oh, that's weak. They have not put enough effort into that. Fried pickles. Yes, Jared. Sliced pickles, hand-breaded to order, served with our tangy dipping sauce.

Yum. That's me. Fried pickles. Well, it's probably not a place you imagine kids going. No. Wow. A young man, a Hooters just opened in Liverpool in the United Kingdom, and a young boy, nine years old, didn't believe Hooters was real.

He'd seen it in films and thought, you know, it's just a false place. He's seen it in films and he's nine years old. Nine years old, didn't believe Hooters was real. He'd seen it in films and thought you know, it's just a false place. He'd seen it in films and he's nine years old. Nine years old. Probably important to watch what your kids are watching. Yeah, probably. And he said to his dad like, his dad would have mentioned maybe that Hooters had arrived in town or he would have seen that Hooters had arrived and he said, I didn't think Hooters was real.

And the dad said, you've been doing so well on all of your marks at school and you've got a glowing report from the teachers. Tell you what, we'll have a lads night and I'll take you to Hooters. So this guy, this father, takes his sweet young nine-year-old to Hooters. There's photos of him and he's like smiling and he's like three beautiful tight buttocks in the background. And he's posing with some of the gals you know, with their

signature uniforms on. He said he loves Hooters. He loved the wings. He loved the food. He said, I want to have a dad and buddy his name's Buddy. I want to have a dad and buddy Hooters date every week. My kids would love it because they love chicken wings. Yeah.

But the internet has responded and they're like, that's not appropriate. Yeah. Oh, what's the harm? He's having a good time. He's having some good food. He's having one-on-one time with his dad. Yeah, you're the one sexualizing a nine-year-old's desires.

That kid just likes chicken wings and time with his dad. Yeah, he said that he was like, the waitresses were nice. That was his only observation. I mean, keep taking them there for a couple of years and that observation is going to change quite drastically. I don't have a problem with this at all. It's not like they took him to an actual topless bar or something. He's just there for the wings.

He's just there for the wings. I'll say in the photos. They're great wings. I'll say in the photos, the wings must be good because Dad also looks very happy. Dad loves wings. Dad must love a wing. The wings must be good because Dad also looks very happy. Dad loves wings. Dad must love a wing. Is Dad happy because of the wings, though?

Oh, he's got a huge smile on his face. So we could only assume it's about the wings. Or the fried pickles. Or the fried pickles. Or the fried pickles. Yeah, I'd be happy too. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

This is bloody insane. What's your language? This is bloody ridiculous. Thank you. But I don't know if that was the word. Was it the blank? This is. Yeah.

This is. Flippin. Flippin. You can't say crazy. This is flippin bananas. Yeah, that's good. All right. This is flippin bananas.

Apparently birds are doing too well. I've just heard from bananas, they're not happy. Okay, shit. This is... Watch your language. This is flipping... Nuts? Nuts.

The walnuts are not pleased, guys. The walnuts aren't pleased. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're going to have to choose a better word. The allergies. Proceed with caution. This is flipping dumb.

Yeah, that's good. Is that good? On behalf of dumb people, I'mive with caution. This is flipping dumb. Yeah, that's good. Is that good? On behalf of dumb people, I'm fine with that. You're over it. I'm fine with that. Well, apparently there's too many birds in this wetland area. Yeah. Too many massive flocks of starlings, sparrows and pigeons.

Yeah. Are living inside the bird, the predator-proof fence. Whereabouts is this? This is in Ohalpo, just out of Hamilton, between Hamilton and Te Amutu. The birds,

the starlings and the sparrows and all the yuck ones. All the yuck, okay, so the yuck birds. Trash birds. Filth birds. Pigeons. All the yuck. Okay, so the yuck birds. Trash birds. Filth birds. Pigeons. Probably a thrush as well. One of those big brown thrushes. Thrushy by name, thrushy by nature.

So wait, they set up a predator-proof area, or they set up a sanctuary, and they're now saying the birds are doing too good. Well, no, no, no. So it was for like skinks and the spotless crake bird and, you know, the swamp birds. It's a wetland area. It was fenced off to keep the rats out. Well, now they're thinking of chucking some rats back in. Oh, my God.

To get rid of them. To deter the starlings and the sparrows and the people. What about the ginky stinky? Well, that's exactly right. The copper skinks, the native copper skinks will be immediately, I'm imagining that's going to be the rat's first stop. Yeah. They'll be on their way through that before they're going to be bothered

with a sparrow or a starling. That's the entree. What's the issue with too many birds? Too many poopies. Yuck birds. And then they do, yeah. They poop in everywhere. The yuck birds, pigeons, sparrows, starlings,

they all do lots of poop. And then the poop sits in the water and it's too much for the natural flow of the wetland and then it gets a bit manky. We need to stop interrupting the circle of life. You know? Well, but then why put rats back in? Get some...

Have you been to the Waikato? It's chock-a-full of little kids with mullets who love slug guns and slingshots. Yeah, I was going to say. Get them behind the fence. My sister's got three of them. They'll be behind the fence. They're lickety-split.

You think some rats can do some damage to some starlings? Does your sister give them slingshots? Those things are... Her boys would be lethal with slingshots. They'd come back in and they'd be blind. Do you remember when BB guns were a thing at primary school? The plastic pellet? Yeah.

Yeah. I remember getting hit in the back with a BB gun. I was walking home with my brother and I was like, ow! We turned around and there was this little rascal, little Jaden or Caden, walking behind us. And he'd shoot you with a pellet gun. Shot me with a pellet gun. Wild.

Yeah. But that's what you need in there. Scare them off or, you know, it's just a sparrow. Hey, am I a bit like 50 Cent now? You got shot. You've been shot. I've been shot. Yeah.

Been hit with a few shells now I walk with a limp. Do you need some street cred? Yeah, I need a bit of street cred. Okay, yeah, wow. Do I get to put a tear under my eye? If you want. Is that what that means? You've been shot.

I've been shot. Or you took a lover in prison? I would too. I absolutely would too. Multiple. But anyway, the thing about rats behind this fence. Bizarre. You say rats, Department of Conservation.

I raise you little bogan children with mullets. Get your Cadens and Jadens in there. They'll take care of it. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.