ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 25th August 2022

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. Ross Moss has just walked in. Well, I was going to intro you. People might not be familiar. You've got to say each other's names a lot on the radio, Ross. Fletch and I do this daily, don't we, Fletch? Absolutely, Vaughn.

We do. It's the same. I come in here and I've got like this, do we call it booming still? Oh, man. Booming. Or boomer. Boomer. Yeah.

But you've come in, Ross, boss, you're not happy. It's the worst fucking day of my life. Okay, we're going to need the expletive warning on the podcast. God, he's had a car accident, have you? No. Someone's died? No accident, have you? No. Someone's died? No, not as bad as that. No, worse than that, sorry.

I got in the elevator and there was a man in there that was taller than me. To those that don't know, I'm 6'8". That's my thing. That's all I've got going for me. That's your thing. I'm not muscly, but I'm tall enough that it's a thing. This guy, I reckon he's 7. Wow. He was tall. Where reckon he's seven. Wow.

Seven foot. He was tall. Where was he going? Up somewhere. To the lawyers? I don't know. The lawyers aren't even there anymore. Did you look at each other and give yourself a we're tall nod?

No, because I hate it when people are like, oh my God, you're so tall, even though it's my thing and I love it. But so I wasn't going to be the one that would be like, oh my God, you're so tall and just ruin his thing because I did that once to some dude and that would be like, oh my God, you're so tall, and just ruin his thing. Because I did that once to some dude, and he didn't like me. But that's the third person, other than tall blacks, I've ever met that bald scene that is taller than me. So yeah, I'm pretty fucking brassed off. It's like when Vaughn goes somewhere,

and someone's got a better beard than him. You don't like him. It hurts. Yeah, if he's a bald bearded brother, and he's better at barbecue than you. Especially if they can wield an axe better. But why are you going to attacking me? This is about Ross being a shorty.

It's about Ross being a tiny little man, not about me. He's actually a master builder. Leave me out of it. I've never felt so impotent. I just, you know. I'll go and get some pills for this. You think you've got one sort of like area covered

and then it turns out someone's covering the area better than you. Basically, and it turns out they're working in this building. So other news, we're moving. We're going to leave. Remote working from now on. Yes! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Susie.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Mine is Hayley today, who's away sick. Yep. Good morning. There's more work for usletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Mine is Hayley today, who's away sick. Yep. Good morning. So, there's more work for us to do, isn't it? Oh, God. I wouldn't have phrased it like that.

Phrased it like that? You've put me off now. What, because you've got to do more work? Well, you had to do more work yesterday. Yeah, but you didn't tell me I had to do more work. It just kind of happened, didn't it? Right, okay. So now what, you feel the burden? Yeah. Is that, you feel the weight? Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't tell me I had to do more work. It just kind of happened, didn't it? Right, okay. So now what, you feel the burden? Yeah.

Is that you feel the weight? Yeah. Okay. I feel like that was a lot of extra. I just literally felt the weight go on my shoulders. Right. I'm going to need a day tomorrow. Are you?

A day off? Yeah. Right, okay. Sort of a mental health day, I think. Yeah. Well, why don't you just do one more day of work tomorrow and then have two days off, the weekend they call it. You've got a real management spin to how you sound things to me today.

Don't try to tell me that the weekend that I'm entitled to is... Yes! I've been conditioned well over the years. You have been, you have been. Coming up on the show today, more cash up for grabs. 8 o'clock with HBO's House of the Dragon, which is streaming now on NEO on the first episode. It's out.

So you've just got to dodge our fire-breathing dragons to be in to win the cash. The top six is on the way. Yeah, it is now the ballpark figure to raise a child $300,000 US dollars. That's $485,000 New Zealand dollars.

And climbing. So like a million dollars for two. But it's cheaper with the second one, eh? Because you give them all the hand-me-downs and all that. Oh, yeah. It's just economies of scale, you know. Yeah. It's just, you know.

That's why some people... Half a million dollars to raise a shithead kid. Pretty much. Well, yeah, that's true. If you're spending that much money, but you're not, you know, trying to make the best one possible. Yeah. Maybe have a look at yourself. But, yeah, that's what one possible. Yeah. Maybe have a look at yourself.

But yeah, that's what it costs. I've got the top six other things you could spend $300,000 US on. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, scientists, why did that just end abruptly? That song just cut off, didn't it? Scientists. Scientists, probably. I think scientists are responsible.

We go to Jerusalem now. We, probably. I think scientists are responsible. We go to Jerusalem now. We're scientists. Of course. Of course. The birthplace of Jesus. The birthplace of science. The birthplace of science. Was Jesus born in Jerusalem?

I'm a little rusty on my Bible facts. I don't know it. I'll just turn to fellow Catholic in the corner, Producer Anna. Where was he born? Up now, King of Jerusalem. I'm making that one up. Petoni?

No, not. Bethlehem. Bethlehem. Yeah, in Tauranga. Just outside of Tauranga. Yeah. Fantastic. What a great spot.

This is why I continue to believe David Farrier may be Jesus. A, born in Bethlehem. B, born on Christmas. Oh, yeah. C. Highly possible.

Well, we go to Jerusalem and it may be the Jerusalem just out of Tauranga. Oh, yeah. C. Highly possible. Well, we go to Jerusalem, and it may be the Jerusalem just out of Tauranga. We're scientists. No, there's no Jerusalem just out of Tauranga. It's Bethlehem. Oh, yeah. There is a Jerusalem in New Zealand. It's on the Whanganui River.

Remember we saw the signs? Well, it could be the Whanganui River, Jerusalem, which is the hub of science. Well known for its science. And furniture development, because scientists there have worked on furniture like chairs and other furniture items that when they're removed from their packaging, spring up to life and form their shape so you don't have to put them together.

No. So they flat pack. Yeah, they sound spring loaded. Like you unload it, it's going to go poof in your face. You know, you even see those ads for the mattresses that come rolled up and vacuumed. And the minute they undo them, and they roll out so quickly. It looks like it could really hurt you if you're in the wrong position. Like when they air seal those mattresses that ping out of the box.

That's exactly what I just see. Did you? Oh, I wasn't listening to that. I was reading the story here. You were reading the story. That's exactly what I just said. Did you? Oh, I wasn't listening to that. I was listening. I was reading the story here. You were reading the story. That's exactly what I just described. So, yeah, the idea is because of, you know, how expensive shipping is and transport, the

idea is if you can flat pack something that usually would be in a giant box, it's going to be better for us and the world. Oh, right. Transportation wise. Okay. But you're right. It probably isn't going to be better for us and the world. Oh, right. Transportation-wise. But yeah, you're right. It probably isn't going to be the best furniture, is it? If it's springing out of the box. I wouldn't think so. Like a chair. Yeah. Pop.

Good to see they've got everything else they can care of. I mean, that's got to be well down your list of things that scientists should be working on at present. And I understand that there's different areas of science. You know, you've got your microbiologist, your viral specialists and stuff that probably can't cure COVID, but I feel like these guys,

the scientists that invent pop-up furniture could probably be working on something slightly more advantageous to humanity on a whole. Yeah, monkeypox, for example. Springing out furniture. No, again, I just explained that's a different area of science. Are you listening to anything Hello

McFly Hello Furniture people Can do monkey pox too Furniture people Can't do monkey pox They all have microscopes These are too fast

I'm pissed off now They have microscopes I'm wild This is exactly What you do All the time I'm living No

No because you're not listening You think it's the same science And I just explained it Why is it all the time. I'm living! No, not because you're not listening. You think it's the same science and I just explained it. Why is it? You're going to have to do a lot more carrying the load today. God damn it! You're going to have to do

a lot more carrying the load today. Next on the show, what have you got on the agenda? Well, the agenda is when you lose sleep, one hour of sleep lost is all that's required for you to become far less likely to do something.

Okay. It's not eat healthy, although that's always harder when you're tired. Oh, so hard. Because cookies. So good. So yum. So yum. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I said before, if you miss an hour's sleep, you're far less likely to do something. Well, that thing is be charitable. Help others. Really? Just because you're a little grumps? Well, you might not even be grumps, but you might just be so tired to the point where you're prioritising your own self.

You're like, well, I'm tired and I've got limited reserves today, so I've got to be... Well, that explains my lack of charity with these job hours. Yeah. Or I've just always been a prick, maybe. I don't want to say it. You've opened the door.

I'll welcome myself into the house. Yeah, no, you've always been a prick. Yeah. Yeah. So apparently, and this is noticeable at Daylight Savings. Really? When Daylight Savings changes and everybody takes that week to adjust, you don't do a charity collection.

I'm going to look up the New Zealand Street Charity. You don't do a charity collection. I'm going to look up the New Zealand Street Collection or charity in Daylight Savings. When's Daffodil Day? That's this month, eh? That's before Daylight Savings. I think I heard an ad for Daffodil Day last week. So that must be coming up pre-Daylight Savings. Oh, check.

Okay, so I've got, I've just found a website that lists all of the charity things. So when is Daylight Savings. Oh, check. Okay, so I've got, I've just found a website that lists all of the charity things. So when is Daylight Savings this year? Late September. Daylight Savings. Because this is the one where we, yeah, 25th of September.

So I'd say the last week of September, the first couple of days of October, if there's any weeks. Isn't the start of, which one's the blue? Which one's the blue month? Because Daffodil Day is the 26th of August, so that's pre-

That's pre-daylight savings. Blue September, that's Blue September. That's September, that's the end of September, so you want to do your Blue September collecting early in September, not leave it till the last week.

Goodness me. Because it will affect people's willingness to donate to charity God we're a piece of shit We are yeah Like I wonder if You know Just to compare us to other animals

I wonder if it would affect the penguins As much Charitable Status I don't know I've never Known charitables to be Penguins to be uncharitable

Or charitable Well they give a rock That's right To the one they love, don't they? That's not so much charitable, that's just an act of love. That does have sort of

self-advantageous there. Well, penguins, you're off the hook this time. Humans, though? Not so much. Next on the show, an airline in New Zealand is launching an all-you-can-eat. An all-you-can-fly. I was going to say, you can only eat so many of those little cookie times.

Well, a New Zealand airline, Sounds Air, is releasing, and this is limited, a $799 all-you-can-fly ticket, which will give purchasers three months to travel as often as they like with the airline. Limited. Oh, you mean there's not going to be that many available to sell? No, so they're not going to. It's not. They've only got 1,000 of these passes,

which is a lot. I don't know. This came out yesterday, and I saw it doing the rounds. 1,000, and how much do they cost? $799. So they're making $800,000, like they're putting $800,000 in the bank.

Just like that. I mean, they're making $800,000, like they're putting $800,000 in the bank. Just like that. I mean, they're expensive. Don't get me wrong. They've got a lot of expenses here. A lot of expenses, but it's a good little cash injection, right? Yeah. Because the idea is no one's going to be able to really abuse it. No, I always see the planes in Wellington, because

it sounds here, you always think, oh, well, they just fly Wellington to like, you know, Blenheim or Picton but they uh have uh nine destinations Blenheim yes Christchurch lovely Nelson beautiful Paraparaumu okay no no comment it is lovely it's lovely on the company coast it's lovely yeah okay well you're not welcome back in Paraparaumu I don't think I was ever welcome in Paraparaumu, to be totally honest. Also, Picton, Taupo, Wanaka, Wellington and Westport. Okay. That would be cool.

If you're based in Wellington, that'd be a good little... Yeah. You know, you've got weekends sorted for the rest of the... I mean, you've got to get there and play for accommodation. Unless you have friends in these spots. Yeah. Magical. So, I don't know how it works.

I think you've obviously got to, once you get your pass, you've got to, you know, book your seats and stuff. There's 17,000 seats available for the time the tickets are available for.

So, I think it's one of those things you'd buy it, you might go on one or two trips and then you'd be like, oh, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like you say,

once you've got to pay for accommodation and stuff. Well, there was that Air New Zealand grab a seat like, oh, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like you say, once you've got to pay for accommodation and stuff. Well, there was that Air New Zealand grab-a-seat thing, right, that came out. And it was, what was it? If you booked within seven days, it was half the price of what grab-a-seat had enlisted. Yeah, the trial. And we were like, wow, that's great. And I was like, the family, we're going to travel.

Haven't done it once. Have not used it once. I used it like a couple of times, yeah. But I think we were in quite a bit of that was lockdowns as well. Oh, yeah, because I think it came out just before. It came out before the pandemic or in that sweet break where we were only travelling domestically. Yeah.

Where we didn't have because we locked out everybody. So it's a trial. It's current and we're a part of that. We signed up and it ends in September. Well, I mean, it's great for them. I literally paid a couple hundred dollars. I paid a couple hundred dollars for the privilege of a number I've not used once. Well, that's on you, not them.

I don't know if they'll roll that out afterwards, but yeah, sounds here. I mean, perfect if you're traveling around the country. If you're a backpacker or you've just got a few months of work and you want to see a beautiful country, that's perfect. You want to get out for the weekend, sounds there. I don't know how many of these thousand all-you-can-fly tickets are left, but, yeah, sounds there if you want to check that out. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Yeah, the Consumer NZ, which I just think some of the reviews and stuff they do when they do their lists, so good. Oh, yeah. I love these lists when they come out. This toilet paper list, I want to tell you the criteria because I'm going to tell you their overall score out of 100. Right. This is their ranking toilet rolls from best to worst. Yes.

So the criteria, softness. Yep. Disintegration. Oh, yeah. That's when a finger goes through. No, that's puncture. Oh. That's next.

Okay. Disintegration is the time or how quickly the toilet paper disintegrates. The faster, the better. You want your toilet paper to break up as quickly as it can when it moves through sewage pipes, makes it less likely to block it. Right. Puncture is the strength of the toilet paper by testing its resistance to puncturing. So that's when your finger goes through.

That's when you're right. Separation is when you go to rip it at the perforation and it comes apart nicely, not just rolls more roll off. Yep. Okay. Did they test the ones that we use at work, which I would describe as a coarse baking paper? I don't know the brand.

What is that brand? But they're just testing the consumer supermarket brands. Yeah, they were the ones you can get in the supermarkets. Right. Okay. Your Earth Smart, your Soft Touch, your Purex, your Kiwi Soft, which is my roll, except I buy unprinted. And they seem to have tested the printed, but I imagine

the only difference is... Because you don't like the harsh dyes and chemicals on your anus, do you? Oh, no, no, no. You get a bit rash and itchy. I don't like afterwards you get a bit of a blue residue. Oh, the anus, not for me. You don't want a print of a dolphin on your anus, do you? Oh, well I do, but it's not right. It's always smudged. I like a clear print.

Sorbent. Two types of sorbent, actually. The hypoallergenic and the silky white. Now, do they have the sorbent? Because I'll do a long roll, whatever's on special when I go to the supermarket. It's either the Passio or Passio long roll. Yes, I'm just looking at Passio. Passio does the pure luxury three-ply toilet tissue long roll. Yes.

Dude, you need to upgrade your toilet. Is it a bad one? It's really bad. Well, it's not really bad. It's not the worst. I like the long roll because it's, it's long and less replacing of the roll. Your Passio scores only two points higher than Pam's. Oh, dude.

And, uh, four points higher than value. Right. You might as well be wiping your bum with value soft and strong toilet tissue. Really? Which you can get $12 for $2.99. Oh, that's cheap, isn't it? That's really cheap. So what are the top ones?

Number one. Number one. Consumer New Zealand recommended coming in at 77 points. Earth Smart. 100% recycled toilet tissue. Long roll. Oh, okay. Long roll.

$5.69 for a six-pack, but it's a six-pack of long rolls, so it's the equivalent of 12. It's only two-ply. Oh, okay. It's only two-ply, but okay. It's only two ply, but scores well on softness, disintegration, puncture, and perforation.

Again, it's the puncture that you need the high marks on. Soft touch is the next. It's 75, so just two points behind. 80 on softness. Yeah. 75 on disintegration.

84 on puncture and 56 on separation this is one that's not going to rip very easily I want to also see a fifth category added, one of the ones where you pull it off and it's two ply but one ply starts coming down and you're half a roll behind

and so when you're pulling it it's coming off real thin but also a bit's dropping off the front or the back, and you can hear it because it's tearing the ply in half. And you keep going, and you've gone through half a roll, and you're just like, well, just chuck that down the toilet. Yeah, that's sorted. So my guys, Kiwi Soft, they scored high again on softness, 80.

However, disintegration, 49. Oh, okay. Well down. Well down from the dizzying heights of 77 for EarthSmart. It takes a little bit longer. So my one that I use, the Passio Long Roll, where's that for puncture? Because I've never had a puncture with this long roll.

Let me scroll right down to your Passio Long Roll. 55 softness. Really? 55 softness. I? 55 softness. I thought it was all right. You've got a leathery bum hole, haven't you? Well, maybe I need to splash out a couple more dollars and get the expensive ones. I think so.

Goodness me. I think so. So disintegration, 71. Puncture, 46. 46 for a puncture? How are your fingers not going through? The top dog for puncture was 72. And what's the top dog for puncture? How are your fingers not going through? I don't... The top dog for puncture was 72. And what's the top dog for puncture?

The top dog for puncture is 72. 46 is your puncture mark. Yeah, but which brand is 72 for puncture? Oh, EarthSmart. The same guys. Oh, my goodness. Actually, no, no, no. The highest for puncture is Purex.

Purex Soft White have 90 on the puncture scale, which is a phenomenal puncture rate. Right. You might even be able to make a paper piece. Oh, yeah, okay. Earth Smart. Where do you get this from? New World.

New World have it here online. Goodness me. It's separation. Because I don't think they sell that one at Countdown, the Earth Smart. Right. Oh, no, they do. I apologise. They do.

There it is, countdown.co.nz. All right, well, maybe I'll have Earth Smart. Right. That'll be, oh no, they do. I apologise. They do. There it is. Countdown.co.nz. All right, well, maybe I'll have a go. Yeah. Because I want a high puncture. You can just go to Consumer. If you just,

I just Googled Consumer NZ toilet paper review. Yeah. And it took me pretty much straight there if you want to see whereabouts your toilet paper because it's one of those things

that you do get, I get a little bit loyal to the toilet paper. Shade always, when she buys toilet paper, I think she's a Purex girl. Oh, yeah. Whereas I go Kiwi Soft because it's cheaper,

but like very pleasing. Yeah, right. Okay, well, there you go. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. She's an expensive situation raising children and it only gets

more expensive. I remember when the figure was $250,000 to see a child from infancy to 18 years old. It's about what it would cost you? Quarter of a mil? Well, in New Zealand dollars, it's now approaching half a mil. $300,000 US, so about $485,000

New Zealand dollars. It adds up. Like the other day, I had to get new filters from a cat water fountain and a $100 bag of cat biscuits. I'm like, this cat is bleeding me dry. Yeah. And it adds up. When you add up all the cat biscuits. Well, when you feed your cat

posh food. It is the one advantage to children who just eat nothing but mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. It is a semi-cheaper way to feed them. Yeah, that's true. A child's got an expensive taste.

Yeah. You know, if it likes a bottle of sparkling Evian and a mummy drink of holy water. It's so expensive. Yeah, so expensive.

So I've got today's top six. The top six things you could spend $300,000 US on instead of raising a child. Okay. Number six on the list, a Rolls Royce Wraith.

This is a flash Rolls Royce. Is that the one we saw? $300,000 US. No. The bulletproof one? No. No, no, no. Okay.

That's more expensive. That was that big four-wheel drive thing. That was a Bentley, wasn't it? Yeah. No, it was a Rolls. Was it a Rolls Royce? Okay. Was it a Rolls Royce dude on the front?

Oh, yeah, maybe. The lady. That's right. With her arms Was it a Rolls Royce? Okay. A Rolls Royce dude on the front. Oh, yeah, maybe. The lady. That's right. Arms back, like a pirate ship person. Crazy, man. Yeah, a Rolls Royce Wraith. I just looked up cars that cost 300,000 US, and that was the closest I could get.

There was some under. Wow. Some over. But that's sitting at about 300K. It wouldn't leave Lego on the floor, would it? No, it certainly wouldn't. It certainly wouldn't. It certainly wouldn't. It might shit itself, and then it'll cost an absolute fortune to get fixed.

Yeah, true. Number five on the list of the top six things you could spend $300,000 US on instead of raising a child, you could buy a seven-per-hour place in Martin. Oh, yeah. Just looked up properties in New Zealand that cost $485,000. Okay. Seven-per- now place in Martin. Oh, okay.

That's currently for sale, is it? The Hustley Bustley. Actually, that's a very good point. I don't know if it's for sale. It's just what homes.co.nz. Oh, Vaughan, you can't just say that. Well. If it's not listed.

Make them an offer. Don't make them an offer. It's not for sale. Okay, well, it's not for sale. Oh, actually, next door is for sale. Okay. Hold your horses. How much is that one?

Oh, a bargain. Six per now place. About $450,000. Well's not for sale. Oh, actually, next door is for sale. Okay. Hold your horses. How much is that one? Oh, a bargain. Six per now place, about $450,000. Well, there you go. You could buy that instead of raising a kid. Yeah, that's nice, actually. They've done a great job there. Looks lovely. Looks lovely.

Martin. A little two-beddy, one-bathroom in Martin. $450,000. I don't like the name. I want to live in a place that's named after like a person's name. Yeah, Ma Tom. We could live in Stewart, just down the road. Sure, I guess so.

Number four on the list of the top six things you could spend that money on that would cost to raise a child, $485,000 New Zealand dollars. A business. I don't know what one I tried. I went to Trade Me Businesses for Sale and I went Ar know what one I tried. I went to trade me businesses for sale and I went arranged by highest price. And there was a $29 million Cook Island Resort business for sale. A $29 million? Yeah.

$29 million business for sale in the Cook Islands to own a resort. Okay. Or there was, and then I went lowest to highest and there was a $1 cafe for sale in Belmont. A $1 cafe? Yeah. I'm not sure. I didn't read the insides out.

There was 208 pages of businesses, and I couldn't just select page 108. Oh, you're right. So somewhere in New Zealand, there's a business for sale for $495,000. Number three on the list of the top six things you could spend $300,000 US on instead of raising a child. The way it's all going, a trolley load of groceries in 2050 will cost you approximately $300,000 US. Yes, yeah. I'd say so. Although yesterday there was that fighting about the supermarkets, wasn't there?

What did it say? They're making a million dollars extra profit a day just due to lack of competition. Because there's only two companies that own supermarkets in New Zealand. A million dollars a day more than they need to just because of no lack of competition. Number two on the list of the top six things you could spend $485,000 New Zealand dollars on instead of raising a child, a place on the saviour ship when it leaves Earth in search of a new planet to inhabit because we ruined this one.

Which is happening pretty fast, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And the more children we have it seems the faster it's happening because there must be some mathematical equation

where N equals human and we're working out how quickly we're decimating this place due to overpopulation. And number one on the list of the top six things

you could spend $485,000 New Zealand dollars on instead of raising a child, 10,000 bottles of Jamesons, which I believe will help you through. It will help you through bringing up children, wouldn't it? It helps you daily. I would actually be very interested to know how many bottles of Jamesons I've drunk since I had children. I'm not blaming them at all. Right, no, at all. They're my little darlings, that is the top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. them at all. Right, no. At all. They're my little darlings. That is their sub-sex. Last night you may have noticed Facebook completely lost its mind.

It started showing random posts from random people on random celebrities' feeds. You had to follow that celebrity, but basically if you've ever followed a celebrity, like their fan, their official page, you started seeing all sorts of random weird accounts posting on these. It would show pictures, links seeing all sorts of random weird accounts posting on these pictures, links, all sorts of things.

So I didn't, because you guys started talking about this last night in the group chat, and I was scrolling through Facebook endlessly trying to find some, but mine wasn't affected. And I don't think everybody's was affected. Right.

I think it was a certain percent, like 40% I think I read in an article. Yeah. We're noticing this. Yeah. Everybody I know said, yeah, it's going crazy. It was so entertaining. And it was all around the world.

Yeah. US reports from US, UK, Spain, Canada, Mexico, Italy, France, Poland, Australia, New Zealand. Like everybody was like, what's happening here? Like someone on Twitter just put up a small selection of theirs, of Matthias Probleet writing on Paul Walker's Facebook page, I miss you, bro. Just weird, nonsensical, absolutely nothing to do with celebrity most of the time.

It was a good reminder of celebrities that you follow that you could unfollow. I unfollowed Chris Pratt, for example. Just a picture of a cat saying, heck, and can I get my news feedback, please? And some very inappropriate, Jared saw a bumhole. On Katy Perry's Facebook page.

How did you see a bumhole on Katy Perry's Facebook page? Someone posted a full-on nudie pic on Katy Perry's Facebook page. How did you see a bumhole on Katy Perry's Facebook page? Someone posted a full-on nudie pic on Katy Perry's Facebook page. And what was the comment? I think it was presented without comment. Yeah, I think it was just a full pic. I mean, a bumhole says a thousand words. I've always said it. I think it's a picture.

It paints a thousand words. This is one, more or less the same saying there. This is one that I saw a lot. This got posted on the Arctic Monkeys Facebook page. They didn't even know I followed the Arctic Monkeys, the band. If you see this, share it to another celebrity's Facebook page and let's keep the turkey sandwich moving. And then I saw the turkey sandwich on lots of different celebrity's pages.

This was the most inappropriate one I saw. Posted on Henry Cavill's page. Henry Cavill, Superman. The Henry Cavill. The Witcher. Yep. It was a topless picture of Henry Cavill's page. Henry Cavill. Superman. The Henry Cavill. The Witcher. Yep. It was a topless picture of Henry Cavill and someone had stuck something to the television.

And said, Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do. So all these people that wrote, like, seemingly innocent comments on celebrities' Facebook pages. Wow, that one wasn't innocent. That was absolute pure filth. Mostly unseen in a, like, in a tidal wave of comments that you'd never normally see. But it didn't take long for people to realise

if they posted on a big celebrity's page, it might just be exposed to millions of people around the world. So then it became a lot of people were posting specifically to be seen. I was trying to remember, Facebook, there was a meltdown and it was years ago. I remember it.

Are you about to say when the messages became wall posts? Yes. When private messages, and there will be people that may not remember this happening, may be too young to remember, but private messages were starting to be posted on public walls. And people freaked out. Yeah, it was before Messenger was its own service. The messaging was literally, you had to do it within Facebook and it sent like a wall post used to. Yeah.

Just privately. Yeah. You would click on it and say send message and it all happened within Facebook. That's right. And it must have used the same sort of programming. It's something we're skewed with. And if you went back to like 2007,

like you'd scroll back through somebody's timeline. You could just see messages. Something went skew-ish. And if you went back to like 2007, like you'd scroll back through somebody's timeline. You could just see messages. You could see messages that they'd been sending to other people. Just one at a time. So wild. It was insane. And people freaked out. People really freaked out.

So Facebook has commented, and they just say the same thing they say every time. It was a problem at their server end when there was a programming change. Right. Which is the same thing every time like it goes down or WhatsApp goes down or Instagram goes down, any of those meta properties.

So great. I love a good meltdown. Me too. It was like the most I've laughed, scrolling Facebook for quite some time because it was just insane posts. And what some people just like, Billie Eilish was another one I got a lot of.

Yeah. People commenting on Billie Eilish's wall. Like Billie Eilish would have the time to sit down and respond to every wall post. Because sometimes I see friends that I follow on Instagram commenting on celebrities' posts. And I'm like, they're never ever going to see this. Like, why are you doing this?

It's lost in the sea of posts. Is it because it makes you feel good? I think so. You've got a connection with this celebrity, so you just write on Billie Eilish's wall, and that makes you feel good. Perhaps. She's never ever going to, she probably doesn't even control her posts.

No, and it's just leaving you more open to the next time a fake Billie Eilish page pops up, it's going to reply to you specifically saying, Hey, it's me, Billie. I'm stuck in Malaysia. Can you forward me a couple of thousand dollars? I need some money. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Well, yesterday we talked about how the average family are eating three meals a week together. Yeah, I guess what, kids having sports or maybe late work commitments, lots of things happening with parents. If you don't have kids, maybe one works late, one has sports or catch up with friends.

And then we talked about the fact that if we ever ate, it was always at the... Dinner table. Oh, yeah. It was never in the lounge. It was never just plopped in the lounge. Sometimes only families, they'd all just eat wherever, on the lounge, take food to their room. Oh, there's a no, no. No, no, no, no.

So we asked them this little poll, do you eat dinner at the table or on the couch? 61% of people eat it on the couch. What?

No! Even when I was flatting, I struggled to eat it on the couch. I'm not very good at eating off my lap. I don't like a wobbly surface.

Nah. Yeah, and then I just spill food too much. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not very good at eating off my lap. I don't like a wobbly surface. Nah. Yeah, and then I just spill food too much. Yeah. Yeah. It's not nice. I like a table. Is that old-fashioned?

39% of the dining table. So yeah, the minority. What about if you had one of those teeny TV dinner trays? Or like a wooden... You know when you have... See, even breakfast in bed, I don't get that.

I don't like breakfast in bed either. I don't get that. I don't like breakfast in bed either. I don't get that. I don't like breakfast in bed. I don't want yolks on the sheet. I don't want egg in the bed. I don't want toast crumbs in the bed. I want a little bit of bacon in my sheets. Yeah, you're kind of, you're sitting up, so then you might as well be sitting at a table.

Yeah. I'm not a big breakfast in bed guy at all. Ed message saying, I can never eat at the couch. Shit just gets everywhere. The plate never stays in my lap, especially when eating a good steak. Yeah. Oh, no, because you need to be soaring some meat. Abby says, we don't have room in this house for a dining table.

Have always been a big sit at the table person, but can't now. So I've had to adapt to a couch eater. Holly says, I eat at the dining table or on the floor because the couch is new and white and I can't be trusted. I've already spilt hot chocolate on it. We talked about white couches the other day. Who's buying a white couch? Don't get a white couch.

It's a silly idea. Also, eating on the floor is big. I don't have a dog energy. If you eat on the floor, especially a golden retriever, it'll be eating more of your dinner than you will. Jen said, it's the one time with the kids we can sit down as a family, even if we aren't eating yet, the adults.

We will sit down, chat about our days. Everyone has something to say, something that they learned that was new to them. It's a good time to be together. So there you go,

a bit of fam time at the table. Oh, that's a lot of pressure. I'd probably skip dinner if I didn't learn anything that day. Yeah. So mum didn't yell at me. Or maybe put effort into learning something that day

and then you'll have something to say at the table. Penny says, we use the couch, the breakfast bar. We all eat meals at different times with work, sports and meetings, so it's never at the table. Oh, see, I recommend you use my breakfast bar if it faced my TV. Yes, it can watch the TV. So I watch the TV.

Our breakfast bar gets an intense amount of sun in the morning. So if it's a sunny day, you get blasted sitting there. Right. Listen to us. Showing off our breakfast bars. Listen to us bragging. Bragging about our breakfast bars. Tash says, we do eat together as a family on the couch.

It's not at the table. Laughing and talking together. We eat like this at least five out of the seven nights a week. So the whole family's eating at the table. Laughing and talking together. We eat like this at least five out of the seven nights a week. So the whole family's eating on the couch. Oh, that couch must be manky. That's a manky couch. Must have rurikins. It's got rats in there.

Liv says, vacuuming the couch is easier than wiping down the table. Sure, Liv, if you're only eating dry powdery foods, but the minute there's a sauce, a slop, a bit of jus, you can't vacuum that out of a couch. That's a stain now. Cara says, why is eating in bed not an option? With the TV on, it's the best way to eat dinner. We've covered this, Cara.

No, absolutely not. What an awkward angle to be sat at, and your legs are straight out. And if you're sitting on the end of the bed, I don't know. Now I feel sorry for you, sitting on the end of the bed. Snacks are the most in bed. But even snacks, you're getting... I don't have even a big snack in bed. I'll have a lolly.

Yeah. But when my TV was in my room, I'd snack in bed. But even snacks, you're getting... I don't have even a big snack in bed. I'll have a lolly. Yeah. But when my TV was in my room, I'd snack in bed. But now that my TV isn't in my room, I'll snack on the couch. Yeah. Because it was the only option. I'd never bag a chipset. Nah, it's always like lollies or chip. No, not chips.

Just like, yeah, chocolate or lollies. Yeah. But yeah, there'd be the odd time you'd wake up and find a Malteser. I'll have a drink in bed. I'll have a whiskey in bed. But it's really awkward because you're kind of like lying watching TV and you can't be bothered sitting up to get it. So you've got to do that thing where you're tipping water on an angle in your mouth and you're like sucking it out just before it gets to the edge of the glass

because you don't want it to spill. Most of this all comes down to laziness, doesn't it? Really? Oh, 100%. Convenience is the winner on the day. All right. It's a little pulp. 721 next on the show.

Where in New Zealand people are the happiest? Now, a large study's been done in New Zealand to find out the happiest places in the country. I was fascinated with the research, how they do this, the methods. I think they just ask like a few thousand people to fill out a form. They recently did the angriest country.

Oh, yeah. And they literally said, how are you feeling yesterday? And it was whoever said angry the most. Oh,. And they literally said how are you feeling yesterday? And it was whoever said angry the most. Oh right. Yeah. Was the angry. Was New Zealand there or not? No. It was an L country.

Lithuania. Lebanon I think. Lebanon. Are they the angriest? It was an L country. Okay. Yeah. And they literally, their method was how are you feeling yesterday? And if anybody said angry, that was, yeah. Right, well, one in two New Zealanders as a whole feel happy. And males.

Dude, that is half. That's sad. Yeah, males are happier than females. What's wrong? What's wrong, Horne? We have to deal with males. Horne? Fair call, fair call.

Okay, so if there were no men, you'd probably be 100% happy. Oh, my gosh, 100%. Then we wouldn't be happy because we wouldn't exist. Actually, we'd be nothing. Yeah, so exactly. But we also have to deal with men and we're happier. Yeah. I think the number of females happy just dropped a little bit more.

That says it all. So nationwide, the happiest region, and Carl Wayne, you're from this region, Hawke's Bay. Yep, here I am, not in Hawke's Bay. You made a series of poor decisions that now has you working predominantly with males and not in Hawke's Bay. In an unhappy region. Yeah, does it say unhappy regions? I do have the unhappiest, yes. But before we get to that, why is Hawke's Bay, In an unhappy region. Yeah, does it say unhappy regions? I do have the unhappiest, yes. But before we get to that,

why is Hawke's Bay, in your opinion, the happiest region? You know, it's sunny most of the time. Yep. There's beaches. Art deco buildings are beautiful. And there's a lot of wineries. Yeah, wine.

Okay, so your wine is the key to happiness. Yeah, 100%. Splash Planet. Splash Planet. It's reopening this year. Has it been closed? Yeah, they didn't open last year because there weren't enough tourists and stuff.

Oh, I thought there was like a big, you know, like a big, big code brown that clogs up the pipes. Huge code brown. Okay. So Hawke's Bay, the happiest region, with 67% of surveyed residents saying that they- That's still not very good.

That's only two thirds. Also, I feel like if they did this in summer, it would be a bit... It might be better. It might be happier. So 67% of Hawke's Bay residents said that they felt very happy or happy. Next on the list with Northland,

they were 9% behind. 58% of respondents in Northland saying they were very happy or happy. That's good. Northland's lovely though very happy or happy. That's good. Northland's lovely, though. It is beautiful. Now, the two regions that were down the list, less than half of surveyed respondents reported feeling happy.

These are the least happiest regions. Otago had the lowest level of happiness, with 46% saying they felt happy or very happy. Is it because they're regional beer spades? I don't know if it's a beer thing. It might be a weather thing as well. Ah, cold, cold. I mean, it is cold and grey.

And the gold rush is over. The gold rush is over. When did that end? 100 and something years ago? Yeah, 100 and maybe 110, 120 years ago. That's got to be depressing though. Yeah. That the gold rush is over.

Yeah. But then like also, what a stunning place. Oh, it is. Otago everywhere you look. It is. I mean, I don't know if that includes central Otago, which is incredibly beautiful. Following Otago was Wellington, where 49% of people said they felt

happy or very happy. But what about the good days? You can't beat it. I know you can't. And you live for those days. Is it because it's so drippy when it it. I know you can't. And you live for those days. Is it because it's so drippy when it rains? I know, we have spoken about the drippy. The council need to fix all the awnings. Yeah, if you're walking down the street and it's raining, it's very, very drippy.

It shouldn't be that drippy. New Zealand's drippier city. Very drippy. You need an umbrella under the awnings in Wellington. Yeah, and that's not, no, that's not drippy. That's not right. So happiness differed by gender 56 of males so they uh felt happy compared with 50 of females and over 65 year olds were the happiest

age group even over 65 yeah even despite their imminent uh they're getting money for nothing you know well that's true yeah super you every every week you get a bit more cash in the bank and you've done nothing yeah 67 felt uh happy compared with half of 25 to 44 year olds saying they were happy. Guys. Guys. This upsets me greatly. I know. Your unhappiness is infecting me with unhappiness.

Yeah. So be over 65, living in Hawke's Bay. Yep. And a male. And you'll be very, very, very likely to be happy. I love peering over people's shoulders on any sort of like collective transport. I think every time after we go away for a bangers bingo, everybody in the ride at the airport is always like,

okay, what was the person next to you doing? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Like there's always a corporate exec on their laptop and it's always fun to have a nosey or see what they're reading. Yes. Like do you remember that time I sat next to that lawyer and she was like highlighting like somebody's Facebook posts? That's right.

She had them all printed out and she was highlighting like important parts of it. Yeah, and it looked like it was a custody thing. Yeah. And so she was like highlighting all like the juicy bits

that she could probably use against this guy. I was like, yeah, gosh. I got that insider knowledge on the kiwifruit industry that time. That's right, yeah.

This, I tell you what, this flight, I got a little, a little, a little, what, what did you get? From the booze company. Oh, really? I don't know, can I, should I just say what, this flight, I got a little... What did you get? From the booze company. Oh, really? I don't know.

Should I just say what I saw? No, maybe not. It's a new product. It's a new product. It's a new product. A booze product. Correct. Yeah, it's a flavour booze.

Correct. Flavour booze. I probably wouldn't say that. What's the flavour? Orange. Orange. What's the kind of spirits? Oh, don't say. Don't say. Whiskey. Whiskey. Oh. What's the flavour? Orange. Orange. What's the kind of spirits? Oh, don't say, don't say.

Whiskey. Oh. What's the brand? Don't say. All three producers are just wildly shaking their head. I don't know where I stand on like, I don't mind, even like flavoured vodkas, I'm a bit like, meh. Right.

I don't know, just add your own flavour. Yeah, no, see, I'm not a big flavoured spirits guy either. I'm a purist. I like to add my own flavours. Like, I like to add my own lemon and lime. Don't give me some artificial lemon and lime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, lime's expensive, but lemon.

If I want a flavour, I'll pump the flavour in myself. But anyways, one thing spotted in Sydney on public transport was one guy had written on his hand, send breakup email. And everyone's assuming this is to a girl that this guy's going to break up with the partner, but it could be a breakup email with the gym. Oh, yeah, but it sounds like it's a break. How are you with writing on your hand? Because I must have oily skin or ate too much chips, too many chips.

But I might be able to write like one or two letters and then it just goes, the pen always stops working. Then you get the nibble. Yeah, and then you just, I don't know. Where's the pen? I'm going to see. I'm never. I don't know if we've got any.

I don't like writing on my hand with Vivids. No, because that lasts too long, doesn't it? Do they still have benzene in them? I'm a big fan of just a Siri to-do or a post-it note, and I'll put that on my wallet. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. A post-it note to-do list on my wallet? No, no, no, no, no, no.

If I'm going to the supermarket? I don't like it. I don't like a post-it note. Why don't you like a post-it note? I don't like a post-it note. It drives me absolutely bananas if people have got post-it notes stuck all around their computer. Oh, yeah, but they're good for to-do lists.

They're good for room memory. Your computer has sticky notes on it. Oh, yeah, true. There's an app for it. There's an app. We can do that, yeah. But they're good for to-do lists. They're good for room memory. Your computer has sticky notes on it. Oh, yeah, true. There's an app for it. There's an app. We can do that. Yeah. So people on the train peering at this guy with to-do,

break up, written on his hand, and then the internet just went crazy. It's like, who is this guy? Who is she? We also don't know how long he's... That's what people have been saying. Oh, it's gutless and say it to their face. But we don't know how long this person's been seeing this guy

and maybe they're not taking the hint. You know those people you hear about, oh, did you break up with Katrina? I tried. What do you mean you tried? Well, I said we're breaking up and she said no. I'm like, no, that's not how that works at all. Yeah. So maybe he's tried.

Yeah. I mean, you don't know their situation. You don't know what's going on. Yeah, exactly. We can only assume. It's never easy to break up with someone. And it is one of those things, you're waiting for the right moment to do it.

And sometimes that doesn't come along. Like, you're thinking okay, well I'm going to break up with Katrina when she gets home tonight. Yeah. And she gets home and she's got like... She's already crying. Oh no, I was thinking she had like chocolate, takeaways, like food. See, so this is sort of like a bit of an insight into us.

I would feel guilty about adding to her sadness. Yeah. You are bribed with treats. I'm bribed. Yeah. Or like say Katrina comes home. You're like, okay, I'm going to break up with Katrina. And she's like, surprise.

I got us two tickets to Rainbow's End. Logflume, hello. And you're like, well, I can't break up with Katrina for at least another two weeks now. Because. She's taken me to Rainbow's End. We've got Rainbow's End on the cards. Yeah, we've got Rainbow's End on the cards. Yeah, we've got Rainbow's Inn on the cards. Yeah, okay.

So, and it's just never easy. Like, or you just might not be able to go through with it. And you're like, tonight's tonight. And you're like, can't do it. Yeah. Because it's hard, right? Yeah. Because you might have been together for ages.

You know it's the right thing to do, but you're just like, do what the good did to break up with me once. Just take a phone call and not really go into the next room and then loudly talk about, no, how you haven't done it yet, but you you're working up the courage to do it. And yeah, no, I think you'll probably cry. And then like, I'm

sitting there being like, oh, I'm 95% sure I know what this is regarding. You worked it out. And then what happened when she hung up? Were you just like... She came back in and I was like... And there was an awkward silence in the room. Yeah, right.

And then she's like, did you hear that? Did you? I was like... Obviously I did. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Well, we want to take some calls this morning on 0800-DARLS-IT-M and 9696.

How long did you put off breaking up? Like, did you decide, I'm going to break up with this person, but then, I don't know, maybe they surprise you with a Fijian holiday. And you're like, well, I can't do it now. I mean, if they're not reading the room, if you're on the verge of breaking up with them and they're like, you know what, let's go to Fiji. Yeah.

Unless they're trying to keep you, unless they know it's coming, they're trying to win you. Or like, I want to hear from those people that are like, okay, well, I'm not going to break up with them now, but I will in summer. Like, I'll do it in spring. to win you. Or like, I want to hear from those people that are like, okay, well, I'm not going to break up with them now, but I will in summer. Like, I'll do it in spring. Right. Yeah. That's a big thing.

The seasonal breakup. The warmth over winter, right? Yeah, I know people do it. But we're humans, we're weird. People do it. Yeah, we're humans, we're weird. How long have you put off breaking up with someone? Was it years?

Because you just couldn't find the right time. Or like, the courage to do it. Or for whatever reason. Maybe you're waiting for an inheritance to come through. The years thing makes me sad though because we've only got a limited amount of those here on this little earth. On this little blue green globe. Yeah. That we're slowly destroying, floating through space.

So 0800 Diles at M. Give us a call now. You can text as well. 9696. How long did you put off breaking up with someone? A guy's been spotted on public transport in Australia with a to-do list written on his hand. Yeah, send breakup email

is the main point we're discussing. Actually, do you know what we've missed out of all of this is that it's an email? Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. That's what I kind of That's what everybody's Main problem with it is The fact that

He's doing it via email Via email I didn't even think about that For a moment I don't know why Because you would do it I would do a text Or a message

I wouldn't do an email Very formal It's very formal Kind regards Yeah kind regards And unsubscribe here Yeah To whom it may concern

Add to junk So many messages coming in. We want to know how long you've been putting off a breakup. Maybe it's on the to-do list. Anna joins us. Good morning, Anna. Hi, how are you going, Tim? Anna, sorry.

How long did you put off the breakup for? I actually shared. I was a bit of a savage about it, actually. I had a boyfriend. I had a few issues with him for a little while. And I ended up talking to my dad about it. He's like, nah, you need to stop putting it off and just go ahead and break up with him. So I woke up the next morning and that was my day.

I was going to break up with him. And he ended up messaging me that morning saying I've had a terrible sleep. I was like, oh no, what happened? And he was like, I've been dreaming that you broke up with me. And I was like, oh no. Oh no, you can't do it. Dreams do come true. I know.

And I was like, what do I do? What do I do? Nah, still went through with it that night. Wasn't very pretty. You should have told him, I hadn't even thought about it until you planted the seed with that dream. And I just thought, dreams happen for a reason. Oh, see, if someone said that to me, I just thought, dreams happen for a reason, you know.

Oh, see, if someone said that to me, I had a dream, I'd be like, well, I've got to at least wait five business days. A dream is a five business day buffer, is it? It is, yeah, yeah. And then you can break up with them and they've forgot about the dream by then. Anna, thanks. You call some more messages in. Someone said, three years I delayed the breakup. Never go through a marriage

just because you won't get the venue deposit back because the dickhead will cost you so much more money in the long run. Yeah. Somebody else said seven years and still putting it off. So they're still... Seven... I mean, it's bogged them down with admin. It's your philosophy, isn't it?

Yeah. In a lighthearted manner, but now that I'm reading, someone's literally given away seven years of their life to this person because they couldn't rip the bandaid off. It makes me sad for them. We talked about putting off a breakup. How long has it been? Just kind of there, but you haven't dealt with it.

A couple of Instagram responses. Somebody said, I put it off for two years because every time he saw it coming, he'd buy me lots of gifts and then I'd feel too guilty to do it. Every time he saw it coming. So you both knew the writing was on the wall, right? Someone said, seven years and two kids later, it was a long slog. Wow. That's something else.

Someone else said, eight years. Eight years, they put it off. Eight years. Twelve years,ads a text message Since I was 24 I'm still waiting for the perfect time 22 years Said somebody Finally built up the courage to see a lawyer

19 years I wish we'd never met Right Someone said What if the breakup is like a work do? Like, no, you wouldn't call that a breakup. You call that the end of the year do or. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody else said breakup could mean school holidays. I mean, it could do. He's just literally written on his hand and pen. We're absolutely unsure. But that's not as exciting, is it, for a radio call on top of conversation? No, it absolutely isn't.

This is a man that had a breakup. Written on his hand on the bus. Yeah, send breakup email. Yeah. My ex put a one-year deadline on our relationship. Like, engage me or I'm out. I don't know. I broke up with him after three years.

Right. No, maybe when they got together, he's like, we'll do this for a year. That's odd. Yeah. That's odd. Yeah. That's odd. Yeah. Like a trial, I guess, like a trial period.

Like an only day higher fire. Two years, but he had already proposed, so that's why it took me so long. We're hearing from so many people with the proposals thrown in. Yeah. And then people feel obliged. Correct. Or they feel like, well, I've got to go through with this now.

Because it's what you do. My partner waited until his ex's Crisco order came through. And she Crisco'd him a 60-inch television. You can Crisco a 60-inch telly. Yeah, see, I'll probably wait around a few months for a 60-inch telly. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, how long did you put off the breakup for? Morning, guys. My story, maybe not as you put off the breakup for? Morning, Greg.

Good morning. My story, maybe not as impressive as some of the other ones you've read, but basically, we've been together for close to four years.

Probably had problems for the last year, but it was his 30th birthday coming up and his family had planned a big overseas holiday to America with all of us and it was all paid for. So I decided to try and stick it out.

Of course, like trying to make things better in the meantime, but having my doubts and basically got significantly worse even over the holiday, having a lot of issues. So once we got back, it wasn't straight away, but within a couple of months, I ended things with him and then ended up that all of his family and friends basically hated me and told me that I was just in the relationship for the money and the trip. You kind of just told us all you were.

I would have stuck around for an all-inclusive paid holiday to America. I don't think I could do it. I honestly, if a push came to shove, I don't know if I could do it. Really? What's the perfect period afterwards where everybody's going to forget you got the sweet paid trip? Some people might never forget that. And then is it easier to spend a year on the other

side with someone being like, man, I wish I wasn't in this, but at the same time his parents just took him to Disneyland or is it best to just

be like, I'm out, I've got to dip out, I've got to dip out before the trip. Anonymous 6, you called more messages and so many

people delaying the inevitable. Somebody said that they've always broken up with people immediately the minute they felt it wasn't going in the right place.

We're just like, oh, now let's just call it. Yeah, cut your losses. They can't believe people are dilly-dallying. Yeah. On their, there must be the good times, you know, like if you're going to delay breaking up with someone for this amount of time, there must be good times in there as well.

Yeah, well, I think that's what makes it hard. You're like, well, we've had all this great time together. Yeah, and also we're not like, people are hating each other. They might still be really good friends, but, like, you know, the romance is gone. Well, that's the problem.

It's just friends. Yeah, and if one of you wants more than the other on that front, then... Yeah. Goodness me. Well, you're certainly not alone if you've ever

put off a breakup. I was trapped for two and a half years with three orthodontics. Oh. So they stayed with them until they got their Invisalign done. Wait, the braces. Oh, right. years with free orthodontics. Oh. So they stayed with them until they got their Invisalign done. Oh, right. Or whatever.

Orthodontics. Some sort of teeth thing. Yeah, well, that's... Were they seeing an orthodontist? Maybe that's what I need to know. Maybe that's what I was just thinking that, yeah. Well, you need to see a dentist, because you haven't gone to the dentist for like three or four years.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine. Keep going. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. One more. Almost twelve. four years. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. One more, almost twelve. Twelve years, and you've still got that temporary bridge on. Yep, you need to sort that out. It's still there,

so exactly how temporary is it, you know? Next on the show, where is Hayley Sproul? Where is she? And also, we may be stepping into the world of influencing pillows. Dude. Because we have, we world of influencing pillows. Dude.

Because we have... Dude. We've got body pillows. Prep yourself for pillow chat. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, if you've been listening all morning, you'll know that Hayley has been MIA.

She joins us on the phone from home this morning. Good morning, Hayley. Oh, morning, guys. Oh, listen to that. She jinxed herself. Today, when the one o'clock news alert comes through saying that there's so many new cases of COVID-19 in New

Zealand, you will be one of those numbers. I am, and I thought I was immune. Yeah, and you jinxed yourself, because how many times have you said, and you said it the other day, I'm immune, guys, I don't get it. I just kept on saying, like, I think I'm just going to breathe through this one. I just think

I'm just not going to get it. Yeah, pandemic's not for everybody, and maybe I'll just give this one a miss. I'll catch the next pandemic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I woke up, I woke up in the morning and was like, I don't know, my chest doesn't usually burn like that. Yeah. And the vid got me.

The vid got you. I think because we've got the vid sweepstake here at ZM and there's only there were three left. Three left and I'm off. Yeah, so you're off. Right. And so two or three left now, yeah. Was there a decent prize? Because I'm gutted.

No, I don't think there was. I don't actually think there was any prize at all. Just bragging rights. Yeah, just bragging rights, I think. Yeah, okay. Of a super immunity. Yeah, well, rest up. And yeah, hopefully you're back with us next week.

Yeah, thanks, guys. COVID sucks. Yeah, it does. Well, we've not caught that over the last two and a half years like that it's not enjoyable it's weird to sort of reflect back

on like all the times we locked down to avoid this and now it's here I'm like I see why we did that this sucks alright well if you need us

to drop off any soups or lozenges you're like Vaughn will be happy to do it what do you mean us I'm the one I'll be driving past I'll be driving around you won't you didn't let me finish I said Vaughn will be happy to do it. What do you mean us? I'll be driving past. I'll be driving around.

You won't. You didn't let me finish. I said Vaughn will be happy to drop those off for you because he lives nearby. So Fletch will pay for them and I'll do the delivery. That's how it'll be. Oh, yeah, that'll be good. I'll be invoicing Hayley and there'll be a $5 fee too.

Oh, no. A handling fee. A handling fee. All right, we'll rest up Hayley and hopefully back with us next week. Thanks, guys. I'll be listening, so don't stuff it up. Well, I sleep twisted.

I'm a twisted sleeper, guys. I'm twisted and I bought this little situation to pop between my knees. Yeah. To keep, and apparently that works. You sleep with a pillow between your knees or something between your knees. But that always flopped out in the middle of the night and took off to the foot of the bed. When you say twisted, is that like you're on your side?

Okay, let me think about how I do this. I sleep on my side and then roll my bottom half flat. Oh, okay. That's weird. Yeah. Because I'm on my side, but I also sleep on my front. I'll either go side or front. Yeah, no, I

sleep on my side, but my bottom half twists flat. I like sprawl my legs across the bed, and it doesn't happen when I sleep in a small bed. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, a week or two ago, we were in Christchurch for Banger's Bingo, and we've talked about this, that we stayed in the fancy hotel

that work put us up in and it had big pillows, like the king, king, king, king, king body pillows. Long body pillows. Long body pillows. So lengthways in the bed and chucked leg over and it worked a treat. I slept well, I slept untwisted and

I woke up and I didn't have like a stiff sore back. Mostly pregnancy, for pregnancy, right? Absolutely, yeah. Shada had one when she was pregnant. And then when we were done having kids, she got rid of it. But I wish she'd kept it. And so talking about these,

I've received so many messages and emails from people asking, like, where do you get these pillows? What are they? Or just saying how great they are. And normalising the use. Let's normalise. We need to normalise. Let's normalise growing men who aren't pregnant

having a cuddle buddy in bed. Even though, like, how did you? She's very jealous of the pillow. I bet she is. But then the problem is it's great to have a cuddle with a loved one, but they're too hot. A, they produce heat. B, they move.

C, they're hard. Yep. D, your arm goes under them. Yeah. They cut off the circulation to your arm. And then you wake up with a dead arm. It's just not, we're not Lego pieces, you know. We don't fit together perfectly.

So, and if you miss it, at the weekend, after the Wiggles drunk, we purchased, well, you were actually sober. You purchased, you were sober, I was drunk. Yeah. We purchased some body pillows and talked about the fact that they were in transit. Yes. Mine was coming from Petone. And yours was coming from Christchurch.

Yes. And last night was the first night with our body pillows because we were in Palmerston North. The bangers bingo. Now, so I got to work. I had to drop off some stuff, Vaughan, and I got into the mail room and I was surprised to find a box. Okay. And I opened up this box

and it was a body pillow. But not the one you'd ordered. Not the one I'd ordered. Because you got this sent to your house. No, because I was saying that I was going to be, my body pillow was delayed. It was in transit. And it was the people from the sleep store who must have been listening and they sell these for pregnant women. Pregnant women. And they said, look, you can use them

any time for other things other than pregnancy. So thank you to the sleep store who sent a body pillow. And then I got home and there was the body pillow there. So I have a menage a trois in my bed.

Oh my gosh. So I have a menage a trois too. It's two humans fighting over the sexy pillow. Yeah, but I've got two sexy pillows and me. I know. You could put one on each side of you. Because that was last night

when I slept with the pillow, I would snuggle it on one side, but it's too big to grasp and like force it to roll over. The first pillow, the Briscoe's pillow, how huge is this pillow? It's like so massive. When I opened it and I was like, huff. Briscoe's, this is a limp, empty pillow. And then It's like so massive. When I opened it and I was like, huff, briskos.

This is a limp, empty pillow. And then I went to the toilet and came back and it had grown. I was like, I see what's happening here. The memory foam's sucking air into it. Yeah, because they like air seal it into this tiny box. And you're like, how can this pillow fit in here? Yes. And because they take all the air out.

And then, yeah, you come back 20 minutes later and it is humongous. I was worried. So I put all the extra foam that came with it in the pillow. And now this thing's massive. Yeah, yeah, you come back 20 minutes later and it is humongous. I was worried, so I put all the extra foam that came with it in the pillow and now this thing's massive. Yeah, yeah. You literally climb on top of this thing. Yeah. So what did you think of your first night with the body pillow?

Loved it. So not pregnant, but great. It was a little bit different getting used to something being in the bed. That's why I gave it an 8 out of 10 for the first night. Right. And it was a barrier between myself and my wife, which she took personally, and I told her to not take personally. And then

she said, I want to turn, and so to, you know, appease her at this third party joining us in the marital bed. Well, yeah, because it's important if you're going to have three in the bed not to forget about your wife. Exclude anybody. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you don't want to make your wife jealous. Everybody's got to be, everybody's got to be getting something.

So I said, yeah, have a go. And then she snuggled up and she's like, mine now. And I said, no. No, it's not yours. And she said, mine now in a baby voice. And I said, no. And I said it in a baby voice. And then there was two baby voiced adults going, no, my pillow.

Did you bet my pillow? So what's going to happen tonight then? Well, I slept with it last night and I said, when I wake up and go to work, you can then start your shift with the pillow. That's sharing. Yeah. And she said, I messaged her saying, did you snuggle pillow? Yeah.

And she said, I didn't hear you leave. So I've just woken up now and the pillow's on your side of the bed. She didn't just find it in those last remaining hours. But I said to her, if you really want one, we can get another pillow. Oh my god, so you'll have four in the marital bed? We'll have four people. Four things.

Two human, two pillow. Because I had a scheduled three o'clock wheeze that I always have, and so I woke up and I said to the Briscoe's pillow, I'm sorry about this, but I'm putting you on the floor now. And then I got the other pillow that the sleeper store had sent me. It's a little bit of a lighter one. And I had the second half with that pillow and that was a little bit smaller.

And I liked that. You liked that one too. It wasn't memory foam, but it was good. So maybe I'll just do shifts. Or I was going to say, if you were breaking up with your Briscoe's pillow, I could buy the Briscoe's pillow off you at a discounted rate because you've mucked it up. How have I mucked it up?

You've rubbed your bits on it. And then I would add that to the marital bed. Right. Because we do have this huge bed. Yeah, yeah. That's, I think, one of the reasons I sprawl and twist when I sleep. I've got too much real estate. Oh, right.

You'd rather be cramped up. Because when I sleep in the single bed at home, semi-regularly, when you're in trouble, when you're in trouble, when you're in trouble, I'm not in the door. So I stay up too late playing video games

or D&D with my pals. I have to sleep in the spare bed so I don't wake anybody up. But I don't sprawl like it because I don't have the room, the real estate. So if we put more pillows in the bed, you'll be anti-sprawl. You'll be anti-sprawl.

I'll be anti-sprawl. Right, okay. Well, I mean, I thoroughly recommend if you get a sore lower back from sprawling. Hey, yeah. What sexy rock and roll conversations did you have on the radio today? Well, I told everybody about my sore lower back and my body pillow. This is like the equivalent of Keith Quinn endorsing something on like an ad. Yeah.

I mean, next week I'm going to tell you all how to start pre-planning your funeral. And to be honest, if you're my age, it's too late to start saving your retirement. You were buggered. It's too late. Join us next week. I'm going to try installing one of those things you put on your stairwell to get a free ride up the stairs. One of those seats. I thought you were going to say one of those things you put on your stairwell to get a free ride up the stairs. One of those seats. I thought you were going to say one of those motion-activated lights

so you don't tumble over the corner of a rug. Yeah. And Deer Velvet. Deer Velvet. Lovely. Yeah, great stuff. Great stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Before we get to the fact of the day, we need to discuss Instagram because they are the absolute king of copycats. They're at it again after turning the main feed into basically TikTok. Yeah. They are now planning to copy Be Real, the new app which, of course, everyone is loving at the moment. If you've not heard of Be Real. B-E.

B-E-R-E-A-L. Yep. It's just an app which was launched, I do believe, to make social media posts a little bit more every day. Like real. Yeah, you see somebody. I mean, it's still stink when someone's on Be Real and they're in Europe. Yeah.

Because they're kind of doing cool things. And they just look like they're hot. They look like they're warm. Yeah. The hair has that sort of holiday frizz to it. Yeah. They're having a great old time. So Be Real, and it just randomly pops up at some time of the day

saying post a Be Real now. You can't see your friends' posts until you've posted. Yep. And you've got to post that day to see that day's post. And we've got a ZM1 as well. And so it goes off. And if you're at work or you're on the couch, you take a photo with the front-facing camera.

Well, you just take a photo. You just decide what you want to have your photo of, and you press take it. And it takes one side and then takes the other side. So it always shows both sides, what both sides of your phone can see at that time. And all the chins. Whatever you're doing. Yeah, maybe you're cooking. Maybe And all the chins. Whatever you're doing, yeah.

Maybe you're cooking, maybe you're watching telly, maybe you're already in bed, maybe you're getting ready for the day. And so because it's gone absolutely crazy, especially in the last few months, Instagram want a piece of this because they don't want to be, I guess, eroded and left behind. Yeah.

Which a lot of people kind of are, right? Like you put stuff up on Instagram and it just seems like people are like, eh. Yeah, I think just on a whole are people getting a bit more meh with social media. I think so, yeah. I certainly have. The shine's worn off it. Well, what they're launching is their copy of B-Reel

is Instagram Candid Challenges. Ugh. Where you can add a candid, an IG candid to your story and then, yeah, you pop up, you've got a few minutes to take the photo. So it's basically just ripping off B-Reel. And where on Instagram is this going to fit? Where is this going to fit?

It'll just pop up. It's already a fully loaded... Right. But you're not B-Reeling yet. I've signed up, but I just. But you don't, you're not be reeling yet. I, I've signed up, but I just, I don't know. I just feel like it's the same thing every day.

I mean, I don't know. Can't wait at the social media desk. Um, I just, I just don't want to see like my friends. It's just the same thing every day. Like they're either at home watching TV or they're at work.

I love it for that reason. But then after like six months of that, are you going to be like, okay, cool? Yeah, probably. But that happens with most social media stuff, doesn't it? Yeah, true. Like right now, I've just checked, I've just posted mine very late

because it went off at like 2am. My friend's just eating some Milo cereal. How exciting that I know that she's eating that. That was me. We had to put Milo on our rice bubbles because we couldn't afford Coco Pops. Yeah, I know. But now there's a cereal that does that for you.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. All right, well, expect that on Instagram at some stage. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about frogs and fossils.

Frogs and fossils. Okay. 45 million years ago, the North Sea covered half of Germany and it was an absolute breeding ground for reptiles of the time. Okay. So frogs and toads were around at the same time as the dinosaurs. Huh. But when the big extinction event happened, they were kind of small. Most of the things that survived that massive extinction event,

the comet asteroid, big rock from space hurtling into Earth and changing the entire environment, most of the things that survived were small. Okay. And so frogs and toads survived this. There was a mass grave found of frogs and toads when they excavated a certain area that was this swampy lake that was the North Sea.

Okay. It covered half of Germany. So a German fossil area found a mass grave of frogs. Oh, okay. And they determined that the frogs and toads mated themselves to death. Mated themselves to death? Correct.

A lot of fossils were found in this particular area because it was swampy and swamp conditions kind of like are where most fossils were found. Well, swamp conditions, what were swamp conditions then? Yeah, right. Swamp conditions now, but they're the ones that are best. Obviously, they sink into the mud, the lack of air and everything,

and then that turns the rock and the bones and everything to be kept inside the rock, and it kind of preserves them. So they found a mass frog and toad grave. And they said they've done their due diligence and they can say that indeed these frogs and toads mated themselves to death. Now this is an ongoing issue for frogs. Right.

Are they one of those that when they do it, they die straight away? No. It's like when a bee stings you and they die, they die straight away. It's like when a bee stings you and they die. They die, yeah. Sex can be a death trap for modern toads and frogs. Individuals are overcome regularly by exhaustion and end up drowning. So toads especially, land-based, but when they mate,

they need to find an area of water, and they'll just go to the, you know, area of water where the largest ribbit-ribbit's happening. Yeah. They don't know about the depth. Right. So then they start about it in the water. Yeah. And if it's too much, if they overexert themselves, they're exhausted.

Right. Post-coitus. Yeah. And they can't swim because they're so exhausted and they sink. Right. And they die. This is why you so exhausted and they sink and they die. This is why you don't put much effort in.

Exactly. You don't want to overexert yourself, especially if you're doing it in a body of water. Yeah, exactly. Or, you know, the equivalent would be a cramp. A cramp on a motel double bed. You don't want a cramp on a motel double bed. No.

You've overexerted yourself and you could end up a fossil, really, that'll be studied by paleontologists sometime to come. So apparently this mass frog grave that they found was a real mystery for a long time. Some suspected they may have frozen to death because of how well-preserved the bones were. Some said maybe it was like a mass disease or from old age. But they said, no, it's not frozen to death. It's just the swamp that kept them in such great condition. Died from diseases, no signs of disease.

Wow. And from old age, they're like, no, because the bones are all in too good a nick. And then they said, yeah, the fact is all of these frogs and toads at this one time met at this giant bloody woodstock toad orgy. Yeah. And all got down to business.

Wow. Were exhausted afterwards and sunk down into the bottom of the water. And, of course, they need to breathe air. And they died. I mean, we're all a bit exhausted after a three-day festy. Yeah. But not to the point of dying. Especially if it's that.

In a swamp. Yeah. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is there's a mass toad and frog grave fossilised in Germany that's the result of an ancient orgy. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do think is quite difficult. A topic we don't think we're going to get calls on. Yeah. God, I love being surprised

when we do this. Yeah. Because I'm always like, surely not. Surely not. I'm kind of like, what, has there been one that hasn't worked yet? I think we've had one, yeah. One that was kind of like, I think we got too cocky. We bit off more than we could chew. Have you ever flown into the sun

but you haven't? Impossible phone. I think that's what it was. We got cocky. We bit him more than we could chew. Have you ever flown to the sun? But you haven't. Impossible phone. I think that's what it was. We got cocky. This one is from an article from Capsule NZ, which is a website. Well, I'm just reading more about it. I don't know, but a whole lot of old editors of magazines got together and launched this website. Oh, yeah, yeah. Great stories and stuff.

I've read some stuff on there before. Yeah. Magazines got together and launched this website. Oh, yeah, yeah. Great stories and stuff. I've read some stuff on there before. Yeah, and this is about someone who broke up with their partner because they liked their friend's husband. And what, they ran away together? Yeah. Okay. Let's say, to put this into context so people understand, in this situation, you're going to have to use your imagination

and pretend you've got a wife. Okay, what's my imaginary wife's name? Hard to pick because I was going to say one but then I know we just spent five minutes you saying how much you don't like that name

and then I'm just like it's imaginary, it doesn't matter and then... Okay, well just pick a name then. What would my imaginary wife's name be? T-Boz. I just looked at the Friday Jams thing.

Did you look at the Friday Jams line-up? Yeah. Behind you, yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, so T-Boz. Ashanti. Okay, so say my lovely wife Ashanti and I. Yeah, you're with Ashanti.

Okay. Ashanti is like, I still like you, but I've got the hots for Vaughn. Okay, this is quite rude because you were at my wedding. I know I was. You were my best man. And you know, there's an undeniable chemistry between myself and Ashanti. Yeah. I mean, I was also best man at your wedding as well, so this is awkward. It's very complicated. Yeah, goodness.

So, Ashanti says to me, I'm leaving Fletch and I think we've got something. And I'm like, I've been waiting for this Ashanti and I break up with Sade who's real by the way. My real wife. Again, this is a fictitious situation. And then

Sade's like, wah, I'm alone. And you're like, wah, I'm alone. And then you two find solace in each other and it turns out that you can make your relationship work and you fall in love and then I'm with the Shanti. I doubt we're remaining friends after all of this. This seems too much. you know, can make your relationship work and you fall in love and then I'm with the shanty. So effectively we have...

I doubt we're remaining friends after all of this. This seems too much. No, it does, yeah. Especially you, you're very, you hold a grudge. Yeah, but I am also one of the initiating factors in this. So I've got to be willing to forgive it this time. Also, how do I know that Shantae isn't with me for my two body pillows that I now own?

Well, I mean, we don't know, you know. Because she does want to steal your body pillow. She does want to steal my body pillow. Okay, that's what you could use a real life scenario with a completely fictitious scenario. So effectively they have exchanged partners or like partner swap. Partner swap.

It's a bit different. That's like a swinging thing. That sounds like swingers, right? I feel like that phrase has been used. It's got its own thing. Yeah. So they've exchanged partners and then they've gone off on their and they're in different relationships.

And they've swapped husbands. They've had the old switcheroo. In small town, like New Zealand is too small. This has definitely happened in New Zealand. It's got to have. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. But how common is it? Because that's the thing, if you... Shania Twain. Yes, got to have. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. But how common is it? Because that's the thing, if you...

Shania Twain. Yes, that's right. Someone just messaged in, in capital letters, they just screamed Shania Twain at us. That happened. That's right, because she, her husband... Cheated on her with her best friend. That's right.

And then so when that marriage ended, so did Shania Twain's marriage. Yeah. And then the left, Shania and the husband of the old. Oh my god, when were they leftovers? Best friend, they were the leftovers. But it would happen a lot because as friend groups,

right, you would always hang out together. Yeah. So you would always be hanging out and bonds could form. And if you're really similar to your friends you might find the same traits and people attract you. Yeah. I mean, it could have worked out that this has happened and people are way happier and better off

when they've exchanged partners. Absolutely. I mean, maybe. We'd love to hear this morning if this has ever happened. If you know of it happening, 0800DARLS.M. If it's happened to you, you can give us a call. Text in as well, 9696. Have you ever exchanged partners?

And you've all... Somebody... Thank you to the vet who messaged in saying, I work in small towns and I can tell you you're going to have no shortage of friends.

It's our impossible phoner. So, we want to know when you've exchanged partners. And this is definitely some small town gossip coming through. I'm from a small town.

I love lapping up small town gossip. How do we find the story of one partner ran off with someone's husband, but then the remaining wife and the other husband ended up getting together and then they were all happy ever after? Correct. Does this happen? Yes. Much. Yes. Does this happen? Yes. Much, yes.

And yes, yes, yes, yes, it does. Yes, it does. Let me read you a few texts. My parents and their friends did this. I had the same stepbrothers and sisters on both sides. Oh, yeah. So this happened to this person's parents. This isn't small town, I know someone gossip.

This is this person said it happened to them. Right. Anonymous, do you know of some people that did this, exchanged partners? Yes. We're from a medium town in the middle of the North Island, and I'm going to change the industry that they work in. Okay.

But the first couple owned a business together. They're quite high profile, kind of both work on the business together. Yeah. And they started swinging with another couple that owned another business. And so anyway, each of their own, they're swinging that sign. And the wife of the first couple ended up falling in love with the other guy, so they got together and left their partner. And the other two are now, I think by

default, have moved in together and I think that they've started a relationship. Oh, okay. So that's worked out. God, small towns are horrible, eh, for the sort of stuff. I'm so bored. We're hearing so much. It happens all the time.

This is like prevalent, I would say. Somebody said, this is how my mum and dad got together. Mum and dad's then wife and husband were cheating on them with each other. So after it all came out, my mum and dad found comfort in each other and ended up falling in love and getting married and having me. Yay. But then dad also ended up cheating on mum, so not such a happy ending after all.

Man, am I right? All right, keep your calls, your texts coming in. We'll get to more of those next. So the impossible phone, it turns out today, is not impossible. We should have done, if we wanted this to be more improbable, but there's now three stories of this level. Yeah. We should have been like, not just like partner swap,

but like three couples switch up partners. Oh, wow. Like a love triangle. And we're not talking for the night. We're talking about like exchanging partners. Exchanging life partners. Full time. Yeah, exchanging. Not just

through a hook up. Relationship switch. Isn't this crazy? And a lot of it small town goss, I love it. Okay, let's start with Sophie. Sophie, good morning. This happened to, what, an auntie? So it was my uncle. So his wife had an affair with a man.

Yeah. And they ended up running off to wellington together and leaving behind their families like their children with their other with their partners yeah i have husbands and then they my uncle ended up going to like a separation working through separation with children type of support group, and kind of started liking this lady, not realising that she was the wife of the husband that ran off with my husband. So this was purely coincidentally? Purely coincidentally.

Like, they did not know each other. They were from different coal towns near each other. Because normally the stories we're hearing are the people that are in the same friend group. So they know each other and that's how it happens. No. So they bonded over the fact that their partners took off. It wasn't until they were about, because they didn't want to talk about their partners, it was still quite raw.

It wasn't about two weeks into liking each other and bonding that they realised it was their same partner. Oh my God. But get this, get this, so they, my ex-auntie, she went on to have a couple of children with him. Yeah. And then it ended in a horrific divorce, like they were just really toxic for each other. Yeah. And then it ended in a horrific divorce. Like, they were just really toxic for each other. Yeah. But my auntie, my new auntie

and my uncle, who had actually never been married, but they've still been together for 25 years, and they're going strong. Wow. So it all worked out for them. Nice. Sophie, thanks. You called some messages in to finish. I'm going to finish on the two that involve more than one couple. Okay.

Someone said, my mom had two best friends. One stole the other friend's husband, and then the one left behind stole my mom's husband. So now my mom's got stuck with the dumb local drunk fisherman. No, I assume the dumb local drunk fisherman is one of the other husbands. One of the other ones. So it's like a three-person switcheroo. Wow.

I can beat that, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Let me just find, I'm going to leave out what rugby club it was. But for sake of getting, okay, 16 years ago. Okay. There was a massive partner swap in the rugby club. The lock took the number eight's wife. Yeah.

The number eight took the hooker's wife. And then the prop took the winger's wife and the winger took the first five's wife. Jesus Christ. Wow. That should be a Sunday night miniseries. I would watch. I would watch that.

I would watch. As long as Lucy Lawless was playing one of the wives. Yeah. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.