ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 25th January 2023

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

10,000 Vapes  Top 6: AI  Silly Little Poll!  Gmail Hack  Hayleys Mystery Song  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Georgia, who does the day show after our show, is hanging around. Oh, always hovering.

She's just told us she has to hide a photo at her home when visitors come around. Excuse me? What's the photo of? Just me looking sexy. Is it a boudoir shoot? Yeah, it's a sexy photo of me. It's a photo from Thailand. Let's just say that.

I haven't been to Thailand, so it's not incorrect information. Bali. Do they have elephants in Bali? Yeah. Do they? I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't either. There's an Indonesian elephant. Oh in Bali? Yeah. Yeah. Do they? I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't. There's an Indonesian elephant.

Oh, okay. Right. Fantastic. What are you doing in this photo? Punching it. She's punching it and screaming in its face, you'll be my handbag, bitch. Taking its tusks for ivory. Yeah.

Oh, stiffy powder. That's what she's saying. She's plucking the tusks out. The worst part is that I didn't even want this animal on me. On you? Is it a monkey? It's a snake. Them big suckers.

You don't need to hide that. You don't need to hide that. What do you mean? Does no one care about snakes these days? Snakes are like fish. They're like sealants. No, I assumed you were riding an elephant or patting a drugged up tiger. Which you'll hear about in the podcast.

We do mention that in the podcast If it doesn't have legs I think I still have those photos on my Instagram So I should probably get rid of them No I'm riding an elephant on Instagram Don't worry I'm not going to hold a snake The elephant was like please no stop It is teasing a snake like a constrictor

Go around this person's neck And it's like now it's time to hop off I didn't even get to squeeze the wind out of it. Oh, yeah. And you feel the pressure. I was like, get this thing off me. They're muscly, eh? I've held one in Australia at the Corumban Wildlife Sanctuary.

Real fat girth. Big, girthy, tough. Nothing but muscle and scale. Can't they eat a whole animal and it just sits inside of them? And they slowly dissolve it. See, terrifying. But I look cute. And Ha slowly dissolve it. See, terrifying, but I look cute and Haim loves it. So he's always like, we need to hide that photo. I was like, people are going to

cancel us. I've got to get rid of that picture of us lying. He loves that picture of his missus holding a big python. You've got some big news. Guys, who's getting married soon? Wedding related. I'm a celebrant. Oh, just like everyone else. Oh, my God.

Is everybody a celebrant? I'm a celebrant. Everybody in this industry is. It's easy money. Is it? Yeah. Well, people love to hear us talk, you know. We get to talk in front of people about love.

I mean, there's nothing better. You better have a good folder. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. A shit folder, eh? Nothing gets me so wound up at a wedding when the celebrant has a pink plastic folder. A warehouse stationary fucking folder.

Oh, good grip, eh? You need a brown leather folder and a black leather folder and you match it to whatever the groom's shoes are. Oh, well, shit. There he is. Where do I get this from and where do I get the money from? Time to do that. Time to. Got a time to.

It only has to look like leather at a distance. Yeah, pleather. So pleather, yeah. Oh, yeah, big pleather energy. I've been a celebrant for four years. I've done a total of zero weddings. But you're hourly rates very high. That's probably why they're cutting you from the show.

I've been for less than 10 grand. Yeah, exactly. Oh, shit. Is that what we can charge these days? No. She's doing weddings exclusively at the Zuru Mansion. Yes, I am. How much do people charge to be a celebrant?

I don't charge. I'm getting accommodation at Kamana Lodge for one of them. Oh, that's nice. In lieu of payment. Yeah. Good luck to the government getting a tax study on that one, eh? The other one, they paid for me to do it. Because I think

we paid oursurs 800 bucks Okay that's a It's quite a lot Because if you stuff it up That you're not married Oh yeah Yeah Yeah

Or when they They get the names wrong Oh yes That's the worst Or they stumble on it Yeah they get a middle name Or they mispronounce it Or

Hayley Jan Jan Oh yeah Sproul Sproul Sproul Because they've only met you once or they mispronounce it or... Hayley, Jan. Jan. Oh, yeah. Sproul. Sproul. Sproul. Because they've only met you once.

Yeah, Aaron Mitchell. Yeah, exactly. They met you over drinks. Gerard Cortes. I couldn't do it for that reason. It's someone's special day. It's like I couldn't be a wedding photographer because...

If you miss a moment. You miss a moment or you lose an SD card. Like, you're done. You're done for. I think the biggest thing About celebrators They've got to get out of the way When they kiss right

Yes There's nothing worse Than the celebrants Standing there like Hello In the background Or join in Or dive in

I have teased that Dive in I'm doing my first wedding This March Maybe I'll dive in For the kiss Who Do you know these people

Yeah so the only reason I became a celebrant is for my friends. And then their wedding got delayed for COVID. COVID delays. So every year they're like, we'll do a smaller version. And I was like, fine, I'll renew the license. Okay, we're going to postpone. Now they're finally doing it.

So you've been able to renew your marriage celebrants license every year for four years, but not your driver's license. I just can't be – I can't. Because the driver's license i just can't be i can't because the driver's license requires a photo yeah and i want to look cute yeah but you always look cute i'm like are you flirting with me yeah always oh my god i know it's hot over in this corner gals in pink i think that's what it is pink no it's what? In the pink. What's happening? Technically over there, there's two in the pink. There is two in the pink.

Born Alan Smith. One in the pink. Georgia Alan Smith. Stop it. Georgia Alan Smith and born Alan Smith. Behave yourselves. Cut it out. There are children that listen to this podcast. Go to sleep.

I hope not. They're a terrible parent. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Happy Wednesday morning. Kia ora.

Good morning. Has anyone seen Yavatar Way of Water? No. We thought about it when we were on holiday, but I just couldn't find fricking five hours to, you know, to spear. It's long, isn't it? It's a half day.

I'll have to log a half day for that. I haven't seen the first Yavatar. You haven't seen the first Yavatar? I'll be honest, I didn't love the first Yavatar. It doesn't appeal to me. It's not my kind of movie. No, it's not mine either. It's just rubbish.

That's what blows my mind about it being now a $3 billion worldwide movie. Yeah. Is that I just don't know it's that many people's cup of tea. I didn't know that many people were into it. Yeah, right. Here I was thinking standard breakfast was everybody's cup of tea and everybody's on the bloody Yulong. You know?

Yeah, sure. Maybe I don't know tea. I'm more of a coffee guy anyway. I'm an Earl Grey. You're an Earl Grey. Ooh, gumboot water, isn't it? I just grew up with my parents having Earl Grey. So when I have a normal tea...

Your normal tea is an Earl Grey. Is an Earl Grey. It's not a choice of breakfast. Spicy, you know, peppery. Try a chai. Live a little. Yeah. No.

I love a chai. Yeah, chai is where it's at. It's just syrup and milk. Yeah, because it's sweeter, right? You can make it sweeter. Yeah, it's beautiful syrup and milk. What is a chai? Well, there's chai tea, like your classic chai tea.

What is a chai? It's like a spice, isn't it? No, it's a mixture of spices. There isn't a chai. There's a chai blend. So there's not just singular chai? No, no, there's not. Masala chai literally translates to a chai blend. So there's not just singular chai? No, no. Masala chai literally translates

to mixed spice tea. Yeah. Oh man. It's good stuff. Coming up on the show, it appears that somebody's worked out the number of days that we're sad per year. And it's quite a lot. I marked them in the calendar.

If you had to take a guess, how many sad days would you have? No, I'm pretty happy. You're pretty happy? I'm pretty happy. I've got angry days. So they ask people how many gloomy, glum mood days do you have a year? I'll give you the stats soon. Will they shock us?

I think so. Although this is out of Britain. It's very grey there. They're glum. They're glum. Always whinging. If you had those teeth, you'd be bloody. I know. They try to wake. They're glum. Always whinging. You know, if you had those teeth, you'd be bloody.

I know, they try to wake up with a good attitude, eh, and then they go to brush their teeth and they just think, oh my God, what a disaster.

They're brushing and the toothbrush just goes through. Yeah, crumble, crumble, crumble. Through the gap. You know I'm half British, right?

Oh, we're all got a bit of Brit in us. Yeah, well that's true, yeah. Do you want a bit more? You're hitting on Fletch? I think so. Oh my Britain. Yeah, well, that's true. Yeah. Do you want a bit more? You're hitting on Fletch? I think so.

Oh, my God. I think that's what's happening. Weird. Weird. Wow, I know. At five minutes past six. Yeah. No better time of the day.

Vaughn may be out of a job because... What? The top six is already written and it's not been written by you. I've heard of people... That was the one thing the creative industry had. Yeah, yes. The robots don't thing the creative industry had. Yes. The robots don't ever come for our jobs. Well, they are.

Microsoft signs a massive deal with that AI robot. That everybody's talking about. Chat GDP. Yeah. GPD. Chat MBA. They signed a deal with it to be basically the new spell check for Microsoft products. Right.

So it will know GPT. It will work way better at working out what you mean. Right. You can ask it to do anything. Apparently people have been asking it to make malware, like computer viruses, and it's great at it. It's great at everything. Countries are talking about banning it. Some places, universities are having issues with it because it's...

It's too intelligent. It just passed an exam at a university yesterday and everyone was like, whoa, flawless papers. Seriously? Yeah. So you have asked ChatGPT,

the AI chat robot, to write me a top six. Do you think that the ChatGPT would have been helpful in my drama school exams? Like, do you think the robot knows how to... Fluff on the floor. to flow around the ground?

Yeah, I reckon it would have been. It would have been like, flop, flop, I am a pancake, and everyone would have been like... But the thing is, once they make robots, human-like robots, with this in it, you'll be out of a job then. I know. Can we have sex with them?

I think we can already have... Well, I think they already exist. Yeah, but they don't talk enough for me. Oh my God, imagine how smart they are. I like a good stream of chatter during my intercoms. Would you be able to put into the chat, like, Talk dirty to me. Give me the best time of my life.

Yeah. And they would do it. I mean, sadly, this is where the world's going. Sadly? What are you sad about? Well, the robots are taking over. They might know something about your body

that you don't know. Okay, well, before seven o'clock, we're going to hear the top six. The prompt was, give me a top six for tomorrow and make it funny.

And then they gave me one and I said, make it funnier and arguably they did. Wow. Okay. It did. It did?

They, well, I don't know what the chat GPT pronouns are. Yeah, no idea. One zeroed? Can you ask it? Yeah, zero zero one the chat GPT pronouns are. Yeah, no idea. One zeroed? Can you ask it? Yeah, zero zero one. No, yeah.

Zero zero one, one zero. God, I don't want to bloody misgender this thing. You don't want a one one zero zero. I don't want a zero zero zero zero one one one one one one zero. Yeah. Next on the show though, what 10,000 of these were taken at airports in New Zealand? Free grabs of my boobies. Oh, yeah.

Beep, beep. Oh, better have that little ha-ha. Aviation security. Yes. Here in Aotearoa, removed 10,000 vapes in the year 2022 from luggage. Is that why they didn't open the extra screening lane? Because they were too busy taking people's vapes.

Checked luggage. Oh, and checked luggage. Yeah, because it's powered by a... Battery. Battery. Oh, okay. One of the boom, boom, bang, bangs. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's why they take them off you. Vapes, e-cigarettes, power banks, air pods. Must be in carry-on bags. Checked in baggage. That makes sense because the little charger is a battery. Anything with a battery, right? That's bigger than, because you can get away with an AirTag.

That's what I was wondering. Yeah. But yeah, so you can get away with those. So 2021, 588 vapes were confiscated. Okay. That was at Auckland Airport. And then last year, in total, over 10,000 around the country. Jeepers, that's a lot.

Yeah. So anything with a sort of a battery engine in it. A battery engine? A battery engine. A battery? Like a power source. Yeah. It's lithium. That's why, yeah, your adult fun toys have got to be on yourself.

Are they lithium batteries though? No, no, no, but then I'll look at them. What's in the Satisfyer Pro? Well, that's chargeable. Yeah, so that would have a battery in it. But it's, yeah. You need the gloves on going through people's luggage. Oh, I know.

And it might just be a small battery. But then I would have thought a vape battery is tiny as well. Yeah, they are. They're like little tiny little bloop. The Satisfyer Pro 2's first review that I can find out from Princess Previews came out in 2016. We must be due for a Satisfyer Pro 3. We must be.

I mean, that's a James Cameron length gap between 2 and 3 right there. I know. But what else can it achieve? Does the Satisfyer Pro to have a lithium battery? It's a lithium ion battery because of its USB magnetic charging cable because it's fully waterproof and can be used in the bath. So that, oh, yeah. Sorry.

Would you take that as carry on? No. Always check in. Have you seen, you've checked in. That was my next question. I always check in. When you're going on a little holiday and you're taking a friend with you, always in the check in because I'm worried that they'll see that I've got

tweezers in my bag or something in my carry on and then go through and then be like. One year ago on Reddit. Okay. Under the subreddit sex toys. Okay. Yep. Travelling with Satisfyer Pro 2.

Hey, Redditors, I'm travelling soon with my Satisfyer Pro 2. I'd love some advice on how to do it discreetly. Has anyone done this before? I'd much prefer it in my luggage instead of carry-on. Will that be possible? Huh. Somebody said, sure, just pack it in your luggage. Some handler may come across it during a random check,

but it's not like they know who you are and there's nothing illegal about having one. Not really a thing you need to stress about. But somebody else said, I recommend putting it in your carry-on because of the non-removable lithium battery. With the pressure changes, checked luggage goes through, it can theoretically explode. I put mine in with my electric toothbrush and electric razor

in my carry-on and did not have to take any of them out of my bag when I went through the TSA screening. Just let the whole bag go through the skin and no problems. Wow. But I would put an electric toothbrush through checked. No, because that's got a battery as well. So that should be on the plane with you.

It should be on the plane with you. And that's the problem now is you only get 7kgs carry-on. But if you're going away on holiday, like I was, you've got your laptop, you have a UiBoom, your electric toothbrush, you end up with this big bag of electronics that weighs like 20kgs and you're just like... But you can't put them in the bag. You can't put them in your bag.

I put them in the bag. How embarrassing though, if you were in a plane and you heard like... and you're like, oh my god, that's my vibrator. Yeah. Bing bong. Some of his vibrators exploded. The battery apparently, the battery was apparently on its last legs.

It was absolutely worn down. The casing had been, you know, all of that was pretty much worn off. Your wire's loose. Yeah, this thing was an absolute mess. It was more resembled a bomb than it did a vibrator. We're all going to die, and it's all thanks to Haley Sproul's excessive masturbating. Okay, we'll carry on from now on. What a way to go.

What a way to go. In the carry on it goes. Great episode of the Equestrian Investigation. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. But if anybody survives this, can I recommend the Satisfy approach? Oh, give us her number three.

Am I right? Give us the sequel. Brits have been surveyed and asked how many sad and glum, moody days they have a year. And on average, and they asked thousands of adults, on average, 96 days a year, and on average, and they ask thousands of adults, on average, 96 days a year. So three months.

That's... Oh, that's a bit... That's bad, right? That's a lot. And I mean, bear in mind that their winters are very... I've never... I mean, I've been in winter to London. Their summers are very, you know?

I mean, they're getting better thanks to global warming. They have like four nice days. Silver lining. Silver lining. That's what we call that. At least in winter here, it might rain or it might be grey, but we'll get blue sky, you know. Yeah, I see.

We'll get some of them. We'll get some of those southerlies with, you know, chilly blue skies. I bet there were some foul moods in that two weeks of summer where it just rained nonstop. Yeah. In New Zealand. 100%. Foul mood.

But do you think we'd be the same? Like 96? Probably broke it down. I'm trying to think about, I mean, because I feel like I have glum moments. But very rarely would I have a fully glum day. Well, they're saying eight, so it averages eight days a month. And they're glummers. Oh, that's a period.

That's what it is. Right. Gotcha. There we go. Eight days a month. That's glummers. Oh, that's a period. That's what it is. Right. Gotcha. There we go. Eight days a month. That's called the menstrual cycle. Right. But what about the men that were also eight days a month?

They're living with the women with the menstrual cycle. Right. So it's glum then. It might be hourly a day that adds up to that much. Right. Might even work. How did they do it? Did you have like a calendar and you went, that day sucked?

Or that hour sucked? They said that the lowest was January, so that's the absolute peak of winter. So that explains that. Or they wake up. It's dark. The sun comes up for a couple of minutes and then it goes back down again. Yeah. Oh, horrible.

Very grim place. Grey and wet and snowy. Yeah. No, I'm pretty chirpy. Yeah. Oh, horrible. You're a very grim place. Grey and wet and snowy and... Yeah. No, I'm pretty chirpy. Yeah. Even a sad day I'll always find a way for a laugh. Have they tried having a banana and going for a walk? Have they tried walking along the River Thames? Walking beside

a body of water and having had a banana? I don't know. It could... Do you want to do that when it's two degrees and it's raining and cold? Put on a puffer. Put on a puffer. Sure, easy. Chuck on a puffer.

Have you had a glass of water? Glass of water. Michelle Obama said you've just got to get up. You've just got to get up. You've got to get up. And Kardashian also said you've just got to get off your ass and work. And effing work. Yeah.

It's easy for her to say, isn't it? I guess we're saying cheer up and we've given you some solutions on how to do that. And it could be worse. What have you got to be sad about?

Yeah, that's always a good one. That's a great piece of generational advice there. What have you got to be sad about? I hope people are picking up on the sarcasm here. Very much so. Very much so.

Thick with sarcasm. Thick with sarcasm. Next on the show, there's a new lowest form of wit sarcasm yeah which then makes me a little bit sad because i thought i was providing a higher form of wit no turns out no god i need that banana on a walk now guys yeah yeah so you know i'm a big fan of the show Naked Attraction because of how it celebrates all bodies. How long has that been a show for now?

Because do you remember when that came out, everyone was like, what is happening? 2016 is when it started. I think it's still going. I thought it would have been around longer than that. Nah. 2016, Channel 4. My favourite episode is the church organist.

And she's just this, like, 64-year-old sweetheart. And you're just like, I don't think she knows what And she's just this like 64 year old sweetheart. And you're just like, I don't think she knows what show she's on. And then she gets there and she's an absolute deviant. Oh yeah,

they're always away. Yeah. Yeah. So, it obviously caused a lot of controversy, this show, because you see

the feet, the legs, then you see full genitalia and they talk about man and then the boobies and everything. And they decide before they see the face, the legs, then you see full genitalia and they talk about that and then the boobies and everything. And they decide before they see the face, right? Whether they want to go on a date with this person. Yeah, there's a sliding door that

slides up if you haven't seen it. And you eliminate them as they go per body part. You go, okay, well I've gone to the genitals and I'm not up for that one or whatever. Would you go on that show? As the host? Yes.

No, would you go in the sliding door? Would you stand behind the door? This is what we talk about this morning about they should do a New Zealand version, but it's like celebrities. So instead of like, it's like a version of Celebrity Treasure Island, but it's Celebrity Naked Attraction. Yeah. But then maybe like a...

But you see the willies. You know, maybe it was like a... I would just still go with the same because the face is the last thing. Yeah. But then maybe like a... But you see the willies. You know, maybe it was like a... I would just still go with the same because the face is the last thing. Yeah. Well, you had to guess which celebrity it was. Yes. You know, you're standing there

and suddenly it's Maddie McLean's niece alongside Richie McCaw's niece. Yeah, okay. Alongside Steve Hansen's niece. I know those knees. Those are Art Green's knees. Yeah, yeah. And then you go up to the Jennys and be like, I can recognise her. There's a knees. Those are Art Green's knees. Yeah, yeah. And then you go up to the genies and be like,

I can recognise them. There's a Carlos. A Made in McLean member. Carlos Spence's penis. There you go. That's just an idea. I would have you to host. I cannot see celebrities signing up for that.

This is like my online game show Celebrity Nipple. Oh, okay. Yes. Yeah. And it's a nipple and you've got to work out who it belongs to. Zero clues. Yeah.

It's ongoing. I can't wait to play. Well. It's like Secret Sound. Yeah. Sure. Zero clues. You just start eliminating people.

Yeah. Is this the new Secret Sound idea? Celebrity Nipple. We'll just put the ZM nipples up. It's very visual. Yeah, it is. It would work better on television, I think.

Anyway, so Channel 4 who made Naked Attraction, have a new show that they are working on. Okay. And people are saying it's even racier than this. So what happens is they get the single people. It's kind of like a blind date scenario. Okay.

Like love at first sight? Yeah, kind of. What? Okay. Like love at first sight? Yeah, kind of. What? Okay. But it's, they strike up a, the couples on the show strike up a connection anonymously. And if it goes well, then they can go on a date afterwards. And the way they do it is by using adult fun toys that sync up. So you know that you can get those partner-controlled adult fun toys?

Oh, yep, yeah, okay. And so your way into this date is by getting into a separate room from this person and having them. But are you chatting with them as well? You're chatting with them a bit. Right, okay. But you do that after you first have this sexual experience. Oh, right, okay.

Yeah. So they can discover... But they're not in. Okay. Yeah. So they can discover... But they're not in the room? No. But they're controlling. You're separate.

Right. Okay. So you're introduced to them online with an avatar profile. Yeah. And then these Bluetooth synced...

And they go... They control the... The thing. And whoever's... Receiving. Says 10 and 10. Yes. Right. That's receiving says 10 out of 10. Yes. Right. That's who I want to meet with.

Absolutely. If all goes well. This is very raunchy television. It is. Yeah. Because it's not just a naked body now. It is actually, yeah. And this is free to air television.

This is free to air. This is like being on channel two or three. Yeah. Like that'll have to be after 11 o'clock, right? This is prime written all over it. This has got Sky One written all over it. It's got orange. So yeah,

and then if they enjoy that online Bluetooth experience with them, then they can decide whether they want to take things to the next level and meet up in person. And this is all on camera. Yeah. Wild.

Some of us are wildly aided by technology in the bedroom, though. I could... till the cows come home, but that doesn't mean I'm a proficient lover by my own self. Exactly, exactly. So they made a pilot at the end of last year, and now it's being tested with audiences.

And if it goes well, it's called... The working name is Sex First. Okay. And it's about the importance the working name is Sex First. Okay. And it's about the importance of sexual chemistry above all else. Wow. Okay. Good Lord. The Christians.

What will they think? I hope they're not checking them into their checked baggage. Always carry on. Always carry on. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, Netflix are advertising a job for $385,000 a year. Good Lord.

Yes, US. So what's that, half a mil? Oh my gosh. New Zealand? Easily. They're looking for a flight attendant for their Netflix private jet. It's $591,000 in New Zealand. Wow.

That's $600,000. So it says in the ad the compensation, so what they pay you, ranges from $60,000 to a ceiling of $385,000. What does that mean, that they'll pay you $60,000? Wait. And maybe you could go up to $385,000? Is it depending on how often you? Maybe how often you000. Wait. And maybe you could go up to $385,000. Is it depending on how often you? Maybe how often you fly.

Wow. So it's based in San Jose in California. Sure, I could do that. It says you must demonstrate an independent judgment and discretion. Oh, wow. Because I'm guessing people will be talking about, they might be talking about the new season of Stranger Things or whatever. And I love having news. You love or whatever. And I love having news.

You love the goss? I love having news. I love having a bit of goss. So you couldn't do this job? No, I got a big mouth. I couldn't. I couldn't. I know.

If they told me there's a new show with this person, that person, and it's all about this, I'd be like, guys. Because I've been watching

a lot of like spy shows and thrillers. And would you go home and tell your partner like what happened at work? I would. Because all these shows are like, I can't tell you. A friend of mine did. I'd just go home and be like, oh, my God, we caught the spy today.

Yeah. His name's Francis. I had to shoot him and stuff. You know, because then Sade's going to tell her mum and then Raglan knows, you know. Yeah, right. She'll be like, mum, you can't tell anybody. But Vaughn caught a spy today, like quite a big one. Yeah.

Quite a naughty one. A naughty spy. A naughty spy. It was a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Insert details here. And then it's on the Raglan notice board because Robin's running her gob down at the coffee shop because she's deaf in one ear, so she speaks quite loudly in public.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And she'd just say, don't tell anyone. You don't tell anyone. You don't tell anybody. But as long as you say to everyone you tell, don't tell anyone, I think it's fine. I need to tell you something, but you cannot tell anyone. What's the saying?

There's no such thing as a secret if more than one person knows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so. I don't tell people my secrets because I know how bad I am with other people's secrets. Right, so you don't. Okay. I can't be trusted well if you can uh if you can tea or coffee and you've got discretion there's a job

going for a netflix flight attendant what do you have to wear would it be like a little red um doesn't say number i'm sure they're yeah maybe black with like red accent accents for netflix yeah there'll be all sorts of branches on their plane. But not normal flight attending because people are just the worst. Yeah, they're awful. They'll be like, can I have another little mini bottle of Jim Beam and Coke? Like, you've had four already, sir. And we haven't even taken off.

Sir, we're not even halfway to the Goldie, sir. I couldn't do it either. Do you think? I've got a question. That's great. Just saying the Goldie. What's the worst behaved travel route the Goldie, sir. I couldn't do it either. Do you think? I've got a question. That's great. Just saying the Goldie. What's the worst behaved travel route? Goldie.

Jet star. Auckland Goldie? Yeah. No. Auckland Sydney, Auckland Brisbane, Christchurch Goldie. Christchurch Goldie. But there's not enough time. They get very excited.

There's not enough time. I reckon it'd be like Bali. Oh, yeah. Like Sydney. Perth, Bali. Perth, Bali.'ll be like Bali. Oh, yeah. Perth, Bali. Perth, Bali. Or Brisbane, Bali. Brisbane, Bali. This would be a fantastic question for an international.

Well, you could actually ask the question on like, you know, flight attendants have those, they're all members of Facebook pages. You could literally probably ask the question there. Reddit. Reddit. Yeah, there'll be a flight attendant subreddit. It'll be Aussies.

It'll be Aussies go to Bali 100%. It'll be Aussies. It'll be Aussies go to Bali 100%. It'll be lads. It'll be the lads off to Bali for the boys, boys, boys. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Today's top six rooted in the fact that Microsoft have teamed up with ChatGPT.

Teamed up, I say. It's a massive multi-million dollar business deal because it's going to be their new spell check, effectively, because it's going to know what you mean before you mean it. Now, this AI ChatGPT, people are talking about wanting to ban it. Universities are going to struggle with this because it's- How can you prove that? It's passing exams, and they have no idea it's been written by chat robots.

James Cameron, director of Yavatar and The Terminator, which is our first toe dip into killer robots with artificial intelligence, he's anti it. Is he? Yeah, very. I heard him on a podcast, but it's just been like, I don't believe anything good can come of this. Because the minute it gets good, we won't be able to tell it's even AI.

Yeah. And then team that up with deepfake video. Yeah. And also, if we're just using this, we're just going to be dumber and dumber and dumber. Right? Like, if you're passing university using this, and then you go into be dumber and dumber and dumber. Right? Like if you're passing university using this and then you go into a job

not actually knowing anything. You're going to be thick. Well, Ross Boss is big on this. He wrote part of his Christmas party speech using this. So I said, can you please ask

the chat GPT to write me a top six? Yep. And the initial instruction was, give me a top six for tomorrow and make it funny. And it initially came up with the top six reasons why being a cat is better than being a dog. Okay. I'm here for this. I'm here for it. And I said, that's actually not bad.

Right. And then he said, I can ask it to make it funnier. Okay. And so he said, make it funnier. And did it make it funnier? And it said, okay. And it changed it to the top six benefits of being a cat that only cats know about. Okay.

That's clever. Wow. So what one do you want? You've got options here. Well, which is the second one funnier in your opinion? Um, nah. I think the first one was pretty good., which is the second one funnier in your opinion? Nah. I think the first one was pretty good.

Okay. Do the first one. And we mentioned, we touched on this before, but we always thought the creatives would be safe with AI technology. Because you're like, you can't have a sense of humor. A computer can't have a sense of humor. We had a holier than thou attitude about it. Didn't we? Watch out, accountants, we said.

Yeah, yeah. Watch out, lawyers. Watch out, professionals. Even watch out, hospo, but not us entertainers. Yeah. I'm going to read the top six benefits of being a cat that only cats know about. Okay.

Number six on the list of the top six benefits of being a cat that only cats know about as generated by AI. You can always escape from the doghouse by using your secret cat door. What? Okay. Okay.

Where? I get it, like, the sort of metaphorical doghouse. Yes. Yeah. Using a cat door. Top six benefits of being a cat

that only cats know about as written by AI. You can always win a steering contest with a dog. They just can't resist your mesmerizing eyes. Okay. Weird, eh? Number four on the list of the top six benefits of being a cat that only cats know about.

You never have to wear an embarrassing collar unless you're into that kind of thing. Oh, it's kinky. It's got a bit of sexiness there. That's funny. Number four or three on the list of the top six. This is the other thing. It asked it to do a top six, and it started at six and went to 11.

That's weird, eh? Top six. Top six, and it starts at six, seven, eight. Right. So this is number nine. Otherwise, that one is, eight. Right. So this is number nine. Otherwise known as number three. Yeah. On the top six things,

benefits of being a cat that only cats know about, you always have the last laugh by knocking things over and running away before anyone can catch you. It's not wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six as generated by AI about cats

and the best part about being a cat that only cats know about, you never have to share your food unless you're feeling generous. Yeah. Is that true? Spose so. Spose so. Yeah. I mean, look, at this stage,

ChatGPT isn't selling out Melbourne Comedy Fest, is it? I don't know if they're going to be packing the Sydney Opera House anytime soon. And number one on the list of the top six benefits of being a cat that only cats know about, as generated by AI, you always have the perfect excuse when you're caught sleeping on the job. I was just conserving my energy for my next nap. Wow, you even did a little character work. Yeah. Wow.

Okay. I could crank through the top six reasons why being a cat is better than being a dog. Number six on the list. No need to take walks in the rain or cold weather. Well, that's just fact, isn't it? Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six reasons

why being a cat is better than being a dog. You can nap all day and still be considered lazy. Okay. Top six reasons why a cat is better than being a dog. No need to fetch Or play fetch Well these are just Things Number three

Why being a cat Is better than being a dog No need to be trained To do tricks Oh you know This is just factual Isn't it Yeah

Number two on the list Of the top six reasons Why being a cat Is better than being a dog You can You can ignore Your owner's commands without getting in trouble. That's true. Yeah.

That's a fact. Again, fact though. It's not. It's a fact. Not funny. Top six reasons why being a cat is better than being a dog. Number one, you can use the toilet without anyone judging you. Okay, yeah.

Because if a cat uses a human toilet, you're like, wow. But if a dog did, you'd be like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I think we're safe for now. I feel secure in myself. I feel all right. I don't know, man.

They're coming. They're coming. That's it. I'm so excited. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe.

It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe. Silly little Pole, Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly Little Pole today is do you tip when the FPOS machine suggests it? It's a coward's way of asking for a tip. It is. Because they go doot and they put it across, and then they eyeball you as you go, no. I feel like a lot of the restaurants or cafes just know you're local, and they just press.

Yeah, sometimes they go, doot, doot, doot, and just skip through it. And just skip through it, because they know that Kiwis aren't going to do it. Whereas it's really for the overseas tourists, right? Yeah, because it's really not part of our culture. Yeah, whereas America, that's how they get paid in a big part. Like a lot of people that work as servers in restaurants,

they might have a base of like a dollar an hour. It's all on tips. It's all on tips. So when you are in America, you need to know that. And that's why when the first time you go to America, you think they are in love with you, but they just want their tips. Yeah. Shout out Baby Troy.

Good service. He didn't love you. The West Hollywood, the Taqueria. Yeah. He didn't love Vaughan. He just wanted Vaughan's money. He just wanted us to finish up before his shift finished up, so he would get our tip rather than the person who finished up the service.

Yeah. Whereas here, they're just paid finished up the service. Yeah. Whereas here, they're just paid like an hourly wage. Yeah. And that's why they just biff it on your table. Eat that. Eat it.

Eat it or not. Don't care. I mean, you can still tip. Yeah, you can if you want. If the service is, sometimes if you go somewhere and there's been exceptional service

and they've answered heaps of your questions. Sometimes I just feel like I've pestered them so much with questions about what's that, what's that, what's that've answered heaps of your questions. Sometimes I just feel like I've pestered them so much with questions about what's that, what's that, what's that,

oh tell me about that, couldn't have a little taste of that. I'll be like, I'll round up this $2. I'll be like, yeah. I never do in New Zealand.

I will, I'll do it overseas even in countries where it's not tipping. Yeah. Because yeah, they do, like especially places

that rely on tourism. Yeah. Like Bangley. Yeah, and you're tipping them for your massage and it's like 50 New Zealand cents. Yeah, and you're like, please, it was a great massage. Put this 50 New Zealand cents in your pocket. Yeah. Yeah.

So do you tip when an Airpods machine suggests it? 97% of people said no. 97. 97%! So don't feel bad when you press no. No. Also, do you think that other 3% are just guilted into it? I think people are easily rolled.

People got too much money. Easily rolled. But some people who said yes, they also provide us with the feedback of why. Jane says, yes, if the food and service was good, but let's be honest, it's usually because I'm a little tiddly and feeling generous. Oh, okay. Amy says, working in the service industry is tough. Hospo legends especially deserve it.

But the Hospo legends aren't getting it. What do you mean? When you tip at the end, that just goes into the company's coffers, right? This is London there. Because in America, it's cash. In America, you tip cash, and they put it straight in their pocket, or they put it in the tip jar, and at the end of the night, everybody splits their tips.

Yeah. But when you tip using the Air Force machine, it's straight into the company account. Unless they know who the server was, and then they divvy it up that way. Oh, like you log in. Like when I worked in retail, you'd log in to yours, then put the transaction through, and it comes onto your account. And then what?

It just gets added to your... Then you were getting taxed on it. The cash tip thing was it was a tax-free little... I don't know. A little something. Well, if somebody's worked in a hospital and can let us know. I tip on Uber, I just realised. I tip on Uber drivers because that goes straight to them,

and they get terrible fees taken off. Yeah. Caitlin said 99% of the time, no, but if they're really nice and I'm a little bit drunk, maybe. Okay, we're saying it. So we drunk tip. We drunk tip. Get them booze, get them booze. When I worked in hospital, tips on the card went into the pot and got split across everybody

working that night. Oh, okay. But if I got a cash tip directly, then I kept it. So I always give tips in cash or nothing at all. So there, she's saying it goes into the pot and split. Because you don't want lazy Susan in the back. Lazy Susan. Mind you, at a restaurant, a lazy Susan does a lot of the heavy lifting.

A lot of the lifting. Spang in the middle. Get me that soy sauce. Woo! Get it round to me. Okay. Aim says, I don't want to bring tipping culture to New Zealand. The onus is on the employer to pay their staff using the money the customer has already given them for the service.

A tip is nice for someone who really goes above and beyond, but it should be an exception. I know. Tipping culture is so screwed up. And then, like she says, then it's easier for the boss to be like, well, you're getting tips now, so there's absolutely no need for you to be paid anymore.

Mel said, as I don't always have spare money to spare more, I'd much rather pay money to spare more, I'd much rather pay money to charity with my time. Oh, yeah. Give the money to a bit of charity, a bit of charity work. Fair enough. Bro, I'm not listening to an FPOS machine. From Harlow.

Okay, great. Fair call, Harlow. Harlow listened to a robot not so long ago, didn't they, though? With the top six that you wrote with AI. Yeah. So we already are listening to robots. I tip cash as a server gets taxed on any card tips in the UK anyway. That's a message from one of our UK listeners.

Well, there you go. Yeah. Not in New Zealand. The owner, Emma says, not in New Zealand. The owner should be on the owner to be paying a living wage, not us topping it up with tips. Totally. All right. There you go. it up with tips. Totally. All right.

There you go. We don't tip. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I need to paint a picture. I need to take you on a little journey the year 2003, ladies and gentlemen. I'm buckled in. I'm ready to go.

This is a year before we met. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was the second to last flat I lived in. It's really cute you guys have anniversaries and remember a date. It's coming up, isn't it? It is in April, yes. 19 years. April the?

Fifth. Yep, see, he always forgets. Here you go. Write that down. You'll write that down. You'll throw that piece of paper out at the end of the show and completely forget. Yeah, so it's 2003, early 2003, and a young Vaughan Smith moves into a flat on Mahoe Street in Malville, Hamilton.

He's got hair at this stage. Yes. Long. Long. Curly. Long curly hair. Oh my gosh. A Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

A pair of Glassons jeans. Flaired girls jeans. Yeah. Flaired jeans. Well, they just weren't making guys flared jeans. No. A real 70s aesthetic in the early 2000s. Yep.

Living in a flat. It was a three-bedroom flat with a little room underneath. I was living with Luke. Lucky Luke, we called him. Lucky Luke. Two Cans Collins. Two Cans Collins. Everyone had a mate that was a cheap boozer at high school.

Oh, yeah. And they kept their cheap boozing name, Two Cans Collins. They'd eat a was a cheap boozer At high school And then they kept their Cheap boozing name Two Cans Collins And he'd eat a family pack Of pasta for dinner Every night Oh they'd send So you just add A little bit of butter

And some milk Oh my god They rule Yeah yeah He'd hammer a family They rule Nothing Never sat down to eat

Nothing would give you The fresher five Faster than packet pasta Yeah Yeah At the head of the flat The guy that lived there Before us all

Was Eddie Sizz we called him Because of Edward Scissorhands. Siz was his name. Why did he like, did he like scissors? No, Edward Scissorhands. The movie with Johnny Depp. His name was Edward, so you just called him Siz. We called him Siz, the Siz.

And he became the Siz. And before he left for work every morning, he'd play a little bit of air guitar in the lounge mirror and check his biceps. And that was his way. He was on the way. Jesus, were any of you scoring anyone? He did pretty well actually. He did pretty well. He was a charming man.

I was in the other bedroom. I've kind of painted a picture of a hot mess. I never really had nicknames. Vaughn. Smitty maybe. At a push. Downstairs, yeah. Smitty, maybe, at a push. Downstairs, Bruce.

It was where Big Bruce settled up downstairs. He had two ferrets. I don't like ferrets. Now, the rule was the ferrets weren't allowed in the house. The ferrets weren't allowed in the house, but Bruce used to come up in a big puffer jacket and big baggy pants, and he'd sit on the couch, and then you'd see movement within his clothes, and his ferrets were running around in his clothes.

Yuck. Big Bruce. Big Bruce downstairs. He did it right with the ladies as well. Really? Oh, my God. Even though his whole room smelled like CC chips because of the ferrets. I think that's ferret piss.

No, but that's what it was. The ferrets smelled like CCs. Only CCs is smelling like ferrets. Wow. Well, for a modern reference, like Doritos, Cheese Supreme. Yes. Yes. God, I've had some regrets in life, but I've never woken up in the bed of a man with some ferrets.

Ferrets. I believe when lovemaking was to take place, the ferrets got put in the cage. Okay. Now, we used to have parties at this place that were out of control. They were very naughty parties. Robsy. Robsy's on the scene. He didn't live there, but he was a regular party attendant.

He punched a whole lot of holes in the wall once. He did. Robsy. And then he put his head through the wall. We were always buying those little plastering kits. So this was 2003 on Mahoe Street in Hamilton. 93 Mahoe Street. Just looked it up on Google Maps.

It still stands. It's still there. Wow. It looks like it's got the full section. No developers. Still a shithole? Yeah, boy. What number was it?

93. Well, nothing. If you're in South Hamilton, if you're driving through there, pop down 93 and kind of picture all those assholes living in that house. It probably still smells like cheesy ferrets. Yeah. Rumour has it. Yeah. On a cold winter's morning in the completely uninsulated basement

where Bruce and the ferrets lived, you can still smell CC chips. Wow. Well, fast forward to 2023. 20 years later. 20 years later. 20 years later. It is the noisiest street in Hamilton with 131 call-outs. Did you have- Four stereos confiscated.

Wow. Yeah. Because it's Studentville, eh? Ish? Not really? No, not really. Like East Hamilton, Studentville. It's cheap.

It was the cheapest. That's how we ended up living there because it was a cheap flat. It was a cheaper, probably the cheapest suburb in Hamilton to live in, Melville, on Maho Street. But, yeah, 131 noise control call outs. Did you, how many, did you get back in the day? Oh, every time we had a party, there's someone would come and be like, guys, guys, turn it down, turn it down.

Yeah, right. And they would yell stuff like, take the stereo. Because it was Scissor's stereo. Yeah. And he was out gallivanting with a young lass. Oh, right. Trying his best to, you know, get someone to come back to his bed. We knew he was bringing a lady home once,

so we stuck a vacuum cleaner between his base and his mattress. Why did we do that? I don't know. What? That's not even. Just because. You should have put the ferrets in there.

Oh my God, the ferrets in there would have really swayed. He would have been like. Ferrets in the beach. He was. Bruce had the ferrets in his pants once.

Oh my God. And Sis said, Bruce, have you got the ferrets in here? And Bruce was like, no. And Bruce started

running around and Sis chased him, trying to kick him in the ass because he might hit a ferret. It was very against the ferrets. It sounds like that whole street should be burned to the ground. Yeah, they need to be. And just start again with some nice housing. Yeah, some nice new housing.

Oh, my God. We're not going to go to those ferrets. If you want a nice night's sleep, avoid Mahui. Mahui Street in Melville and Hamilton. 131 noise control call-outs. That is a lot. That's pretty much every weekend. Apparently there's one guy on the street that everybody's like, it's him.

That's complaining or noising? That's complaining. Oh, yeah, okay. He complains about everybody. He's probably still one of your old mates, but he's nearly 13 now. He's still got the... Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. People love having their minds absolutely blown on TikTok, don't they?

With, did you know? And then they say something that lots of people did know. And then the internet goes, what? Wait, what? It's insane because there's things you think everybody knows and then you tell someone, they're like, I beg your pardon? Yeah. What?

So this is one of them for me. I thought everyone knew this, but this is a Gmail hack that's blowing up on TikTok at the moment. Right. And it's one of many apparently, but they've been sharing the fact that if you have a dot in your Gmail address. I do. I address... I do.

I do. I do. It doesn't exist. You don't need it. What? So if you send to the email address without the dots, it'll still come to you. But what if... Okay.

I didn't know this, but now this makes sense. I recently attempted to reacquire a weird Facebook page I set up. Yes. Was this Honey Badger? Yeah, Honey Badger. Oh, right, yeah. Honey Badger, admin of the FEH International Podcast family group. Yes, because we said, who the hell is that?

Yeah, everybody at work was like, who is this? Is this a hacker? I was like, no, it was just me being silly a few years ago. Is this a honey badger? But I forgot about honey badger. Yeah. But that email address had a dot in it. Yeah.

But then when I went and was like, oh, it will send you an email to the email you said was the backup email, when it came through, no dot. No dot. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't need the dot. You don't need the dot.

So if your email address is your name with a dot in the middle and you take out the dot, it is still going to come to you. So how is this a hack? Well, because then you can use it online as different sign-up things. I don't really know how to explain it. So you can go vaughn.smith at... Don't say your personal email. It was already gone.

It was already gone. Yeah. It was already gone when I tried to get a Gmail. So vaughn.smith at gmail.com. One month free Netflix. One week. Vaughn.smith.vaughn.smith. But it's still all going to come to you.

Yeah. You go vaughn.smith. But it will work for signing up for free trials of things. Yeah. But it's still all going to come to you Yeah You go Vaughn V.Smith But it will work for Signing up for free trials of things Yeah But it's still the same email Yeah So can we get

Producer Jared Resident Nerd on Because Producer Jared You understand this better than me It also works for things like Pluses And

Suffixes Underscores Can you have an underscore You can have an underscore No underscore is different right an underscore no underscore is different I feel like underscore is different yeah it's only dots

oh sorry I'm a dumb idiot what a dumb fool dumb idiot dots and pluses yeah right yeah because if you go my email

01 or 02 it still filters through to your OG email so if you went Vaughn Smith if say your email was Vaughn.Smith at gmail.com and then you went Vaughn Smith, say your email was vaughn.smith at gmail.com,

and then you went vaughn.smith01 at gmail.com, are you still going to get it? That's a different email. That's a different email because I think of all the people with the 007s. That's why it was like Haley Sproul, 1989. You put in the year you were born or whatever. Not my email.

To be honest, I can't remember if there should be a dot between the 01, etc. But try it either way because I've used it and it's worked. Oh, my God. So reading this article you sent through. So you used this to absolutely just take apart a system where you were offered, I won't say what it was, but it was a free thing. Yeah, I was offered a free thing once.

And then I had that free thing three times a week for a month by doing this email thing. The 01, the 02, the 03. Yeah, I was offered a free thing once. And then I had that free thing three times a week for a month by doing this email thing. The 01, the 02, the 03. Yeah. There's also, this is kind of confusing, and I'll start trying to explain it. And if I get lost, we'll just abandon. Okay, yeah.

You can create your own alias-based filtering. So I could go hayleysprout at gmail.com for my emails, not my email. And then you could go hayleysprout plus contests. So I've seen this hack as well online. If you're signing up to a company, like say you were signing up to like the ZM newsletter. Yeah. You'd put hayleysprout plus ZM. Yes.

And then if you ever got spam that wasn't from ZM, you know, like it had been like leaked, you would know that that company did it. Yeah. Because the email would come to you as Haley Sproul plus ZM and you would know that they were, you know, they'd been naughty or had some cyber breaches. Yeah, yeah.

Which is interesting. You can also like set up labels and filters in your inbox. So things that come to that email, Hayley Sproul Plus Contests, will already go into this folder. Now, how am I going to explain this to my mum? Because the power went off at their house and the printer wouldn't reconnect to the computer.

Oh, no. But it turns out she just hadn't turned the printer back on. Oh, yeah. Did you say, have you tried turning it back on? No, I went in and I was like, I turned it on and then I pressed like practice print on the computer and it printed straight away. And I went out and she said, what was it?

And I was like, hard to explain. Yeah, just don't go there. That's nice. You gave her that one. Yeah, I gave her that one. I did it. I did the thing. Yeah, I gave her that one. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I did it. I did the thing.

The one thing I didn't want to do in my new kitchen. So we're renovating if you're not following along. People know you've been to Bali and you're renovating. That's what they know about you. That's who I am. Yeah. As a person. Yeah.

A Bali visiting, renovating woman. Yeah. Childless woman. Anyway, so we're renovating and it's all going very slowly but one thing that's basically done, essentially done, is the kitchen

and it's nice. It's nice. It's nice. I haven't seen a person, I've seen photos, it looks nice. Oh, it's nice. I'm excited to come around

and look at the kitchen. I've been invited but I didn't. It's all right. You guys are coming over on Sunday, aren't you? Yeah. Wow, we're the dependent now. Your house doesn't have a roof.

Yeah, it's got a roof. Part of your house doesn't have a roof. Yeah, part of it, but the kitchen's got it. Hang out in the lounge. We'll see you guys on Sunday. Maybe. TBC. Anyway.

She's a very social creature. I know. She's dealing with too anti-social why don't you like me the nicest part of our kitchen if you've seen it online so many people

comment about it is our new bench top it is recycled rimu I was going to say so this was wood that was

in the house no this wood's not from our house but we've got lots of our old joists this is the wood she stole from that old school they were pulling down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those hairs. Anyway, and it's recycled and it's so nice and it just sits there looking. And we were like, we know eventually the kitchen's going to have to be used, but at the moment we're like skating around it and not using the sink very much because it's a new one and you don't want to chip it or stain it or whatever. And the cupboards are new and the benchtop is new. And then yesterday I said to Aaron, shall we have a mocktail?

A mocktail? While we're not drinking during the week. You're telling me, Walt. Honestly. That's tough. Aaron said to me yesterday, do you want a martini? And do you know how much God given strength it took me to say no

no but I I got recommended these drinks AF alcohol free yep and then these little

like canned thingies and I thought I'll make a big deal out of it and I'll get a wine glass off of the shelf and I'll put a ribbon of cucumber I was gonna go the whole way

yeah but we don't have any wine glasses out we've just got the box how very extravagant Christian of you thank you yes Thank you. Yes. Thank you. To make your non-alcoholic

drink look as alcoholic as possible. Day three of my temporary sobriety. Anyway, so I went to pull the box out of the shelf over the benchtop not realising there was a metal bottle opener sitting just in front of it. So as I pulled it, the bottle opener just

went oomph onto the very soft wood. Oh no. Two massive gouges. Would you say too soft to be a benchtop? Yeah. But it looks amazing. Too expensive to be a benchtop too. Yeah. This is what I'm learning.

And yeah, I did two massive dents from this. Can you kind of put some noodles in and fill it in with reason like on TikTok? Two minute noodles. Why do they fill things in with noodles on TikTok? Just as filler. It's just purely as filler. I know.

I went outside because Aaron was outside doing house stuff and I hit it and I just like picked up the, you know, when you're just like, you don't want to pick up the thing to see the damage? Like when you drop your phone? I know, you don't want to pick it up and flip it over and be like, well it's shattered. I picked it up and yeah, two massive dents. And then I went outside to Aaron and I said oh no Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, it's going to be terrible. And he was like, what? And I said, I've dented the benchtop

and he just goes, no! It was like a child. He knew it was coming. We're not even moved in properly. Yeah. What was the new shed I've got? I've got a big ding in the side. Do you?

Who dinged that? Who dinged it? I got a little ding in it. And a mate of mine put it very nicely. Well, at least the first ding's out of the way. And that's always the hardest ding. Also, I love that who did the ding. And you're like, I don't want to talk about it.

Because Aaron said at the end, he was like, let's not put the bottle opener up on the top then. And I was like, let? Who's opening bottles of beer in this household? Let's. Oh, so there's a bit of a, the jury's out on who left the bottle opener. The jury's not out.

I don't drink beer in the house. Okay, so you didn't. The jury is not out. The jury is in. So wait, the jury has returned their verdict. Are you sure it's not out. I don't drink beer in the house. Okay, so you didn't use the bottle opener. The jury is not out. The jury is in. So wait, it's his fault. The jury has returned their verdict. Are you sure it's not a hung jury? It is not a hung jury. They barely took a minute.

They barely even went into that other room to discuss it. Okay. They're back. It's his fault. Guilty. Right, okay. It's no one's fault. It was a mistake.

But it's broken my little heart, and I know that feeling, and I want to know when you have broken something as soon as you got it. Brand new. Brand new. Let you get the phone out of the box. I know, you get your wedding dress

and you're like, oh my God, I'm just going to try it on before the big day. Rip. Maybe. Maybe, yeah. Or you buy a brand new car

and you ding it at the car park as soon as you get it. I always love those TikToks or Instagrams of people who are like, I was first in line to get the new iPhone. Let's have a look. And then it just like shatters on the ground.

Yeah, although sometimes I think those are fake. Yeah, and I got too much money. But when did you break something as soon as you got it? We want to know when you have broken or damaged something. The moment you got it, something brand new, something expensive, perhaps like my new Rimi Benchtop, which yesterday I dropped a bottle opener on and it's dinged.

Also, do you also want to know how Vaughan dinged his new garage? I so want to know. Open up. Sade backed into it. Open up. Come on. It's Sade. No, it wasn't Sade. No, it was you. No, it wasn't me. Wasn't it? Who was it? Did the girls kick a ball into her? Nope.

Who was it? Let's do it for another time. Wow. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. You simply must tell us. Some responses on the gram.

We asked on the gram. Somebody said, I broke my brand new relationship because I got her a Samsung on the second date and she didn't use it to call me and I didn't see her again. Probably because you got her a Samsung. What a slap in the face. That's not for real, is it? Someone got someone a brand new phone on their second date. I know.

It's a bit full on. I mean, that's a red flag. Our son opened our brand new tent that was in a box with a craft knife and sliced right through the tent. Oh, classic. Oh, my God. That would be me if that was in a box with a craft knife and sliced right through the tent. Oh, classic. Oh, my God. That would be me if I worked in a supermarket. You know how they open the boxes with the craft knife?

Yeah. I'd do it for the chips and just go real deep and be like, oh, no, these ones are already. Better eat them. Quick, they're going to go soft. Someone said I spent a lot of money on a pair of brand new shoes and walked out into a puddle. And I had not watered his garden.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Swades. Swades, yeah. Flooded our brand new house the day we moved into it. Flooded it. Oh, no. At least I haven't flooded my house. These stories are making me sad that are coming in.

We've asked you when you've broken or severely damaged something just after you got it, because I dented my benchtop yesterday. Weeks after it installed. We don't even put stuff on it yet. We're so scared to ding it and I did it bad yesterday. Jamie, what did you break first time?

My brand new phone that I had just gotten and argued with my mum that I didn't need a screen protector. Oh, you need one. Mum's always no best. People that have phones without cases, I'm like, how do you do that? Like, I drop my phone so much. I was adamant that I just needed a screen protector and went to the bathroom that night

and my phone was in my back pocket and it fell out and completely shattered the back screen. You're an idiot. I'll say it. You're an idiot. Yeah, some humble pie was definitely eaten and I'm pretty sure my mum had massive satisfaction when I was telling her.

Not a tasty pie, is it? Did she give you a, I told you so? Oh, yes. I got a big I told you so. And she told me I could repair it myself. Yeah. Well, mums are always right, aren't they? Jamie, thank you.

Shannon, what did you break first time using? Hey, morning, guys. Yeah, we just literally built a new house that we were moving in and back to the cage trailer into the garage. And my partner was there and he said, oh, he'll give us a hand to unload the trailer. Yeah. So he swung the trailer door open

and took a big chunk out of the jib in the garage. Oh, my God. Jib's garage. Must be nice. Must be nice, Shannon. Must be nice. Shit, are we talking a double garage internal access? Yes, yes, yes.

Oh! Must be nice! I have to walk to my garage. Oh, yeah. I have to brave the elements. You've got to have it. Yeah. Oh, my God, that must be nice.

Shannon, thanks for your call. T, what did you break first time using? It was my daughter. It was her 18th birthday, so I brought her a car for her birthday. I thought you were going to say you broke your daughter. I was like, what happened? Oh, wow. So a brand new car? Yeah.

So how long did it last? About three minutes. Wait, so she gets the car, you give her the keys, she says, I want to go for a drive, what happens? Because she was on her learners, I jumped in the car with her

and she just pretty much launched it straight from the start. Wait, had she been driving at all before this? Yep, yep. She's done all her driving courses and everything. Your daughter's not Vin Diesel,

is she? Heavy on the pedal. She didn't look at you straight in the eye and say, it's all about family. She asked me where we were going and I said, somewhere fast apparently. Right, and where did she crash it into? She went

around the corner too fast and the back swerved down and she went over a curb and into a rock and through a fence. Oh, for God's sake. Was she insured? No. No, she wasn't.

So I think you'll find it was you that was driving. Yes, I was driving. I was driving. I was driving. T, thank you for your call. Some messages in. A child ran out. And I swerved to avoid them.

Yes. And then I hit the thing. Or a ball came across your call. Some messages. A child ran out. And I swerved to avoid them. Yes. And then I hit the thing. Or a ball came across the road. Of course. No, you always say like a rabbit or a cat because then you can't find it. Because then they ran away. Whereas a ball could just still be there. You don't go too hard on the animal.

Don't be like the rare Canterbury panther. It was an albino crocodile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Pull it back. Pull it back. Tabby cat. Tabby cat. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Pull back, pull back. Tabby, tabby cat. Tabby cat.

Yep. And then don't panic. With three legs. Picture a tabby cat. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because that tripod wouldn't be as quick. Had a third eye in between. No, no, no, no, no.

Let's pull back on going too far. And it said to me, please stop. The best lie is a simple one. Yeah. Very cool. But a lot of people doing this. My husband bought a brand new surfboard, got it home, pulled it out of the bag, showing off,

lifted it straight into the ceiling fan, took a chunk out of the surfboard and the ceiling fan. Yes. Someone said, I work at a car dealership. The couple were so excited about their brand new vehicle coming off, the transporter. They arrived to see it being unloaded from the truck. The guy driving off the truck tipped it off the side and completely munted

it right in front of them. So they didn't even own it and it was ruined. I've always been so stressed when I see people driving cars off those truck transporters. Same. Because it looks serious. There's not a lot of room for error there. No.

I watched a container ship. All the cars coming off the container ship. A lot of pressure there too. They must be packed in there like sardines. Yeah. Imagine putting them in, like just getting them just right. Yeah. Do they have to like open the boot and go through the back seat?

I don't know. Oh my God. Or like open the window and just jimmy out the window. Dukes of Hazzard through the window. How does that get out? I'm going to need to see a Nat Geo or something. Yeah, me too. I'm always on the lookout for a new song for Aaron

because Aaron has the most bizarre music taste. Right, because you and your fiancé Aaron are known for singing that version of the national anthem. Cindy Ruakeri's version of God Defend New Zealand. All seven bloody things. Guys, it pops. Like, it goes off. So you'll just be renovating and listening to this over and over again,

just kind of, yeah. God, trauma's here, didn't say. Trauma's here. We are vibing to it the whole time. Bit much trauma's here. Sometimes I come home and Aaron will be full sea shanty. Okay. Lowlands, lowlands, away my soul.

Like just listening to sea shanty songs. And like well before the famous sea shanty TikTok, shanty talk. He's into it. Right. Anyway, I allow myself some Instagram reels time. You know, you swipe up, up, up, next, next, next, food, fashion, and at least once a day, at least once a day, I've come across a video of a song being sung by a man and a choir.

There's an orchestra, a live audience, and a conductor. Yeah. And it's so cool. And every time it's like the person sharing it has gone like, listen to this amazing song or this man's voice is insane or this song is about blah, blah, blah. And then yesterday I got home and I said to, I was like, I saw it while I was doing a little scroll

and I thought, oh my God, Aaron is going to love this. And I literally sat down and I said Aaron, I have got your new favourite song And he was like, okay, what is it? And I said, let me just find it Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The worst part is when you get an Instagram reel And you're like, that was okay, but the next one's

The genius, and then you scroll back And then you scroll back down and it's never there again It's updated, it's gone, it is gone And I swear to God, I have seen it at least once a day. I've seen it multiple, multiple, multiple times in my life. And now I'm scrolling through it. And then I had to just sit here like this for hours. And Aaron was like, well, now I'm excited for the new song.

Right. And his tension's up though. That's exciting. And I said to stay with me because multiple people. And I thought it had gone viral because I've seen it multiple times. But then I was doing all these searches to try to find this song. And I can't. Now we would like you to describe the video.

So if anybody knows what it's called or where to find it, that they can know what you're talking about. Would you like to sing? Yeah. Do your best rendition of this song. Okay. So if anybody knows this song, you need to text it, 9696. Yeah. Now, we need a description.

So the video is of a live performance, full choir. Like I'd say at least a choir of 40. And there's a soloist, an older black gentleman. Okay. Who has an incredible raw, like round voice. Like quite, like not quite opera. Now, are they British? Where do you think this video is from?

I don't know, but the words aren't English. Right. And I said they sound sort of African. Okay. It's not Toto Africa, is it? It's not that choir where they're all patting their legs. No, but it's not just African. The choir all look like a great big melting pot.

Right, it's a UN choir. UN choir. Okay. Black, older man singing with this incredible voice. And this, I don't know the lyrics, but it's like, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. choir goes, and he goes, and I can't find it. I searched everything. Choir, black choir, African choir singing, viral choir song.

Have you found it? Have you found it? Oh, my God. Please. Jared believes he's found it. It's Christopher Tinn live at Cardigan Hall. Waleo Yamoni. Oh.

Is this it? It's an orchestra accompaniment. Oh, my God. Wait, hang on. Is this it? You've got to skip forward to the bit that's gone viral. It sounds like his voice. Skip, skip, forward, forward, forward. How far forward are you going?

It's got a rhythm One minute Go a minute in It's got that thing Another website has Where it shows you The part of the video People most rewind to

Did you find it on Pornhub? Is he going to take his pants off? I think he's going to take his pants off Unbelievable Did we find this on Pornhub? I think it's on Pornhub Unbelievable It's got a little line Telling me the most popular parts Also YouTube did not invent that By the way I think it's your ticket span. Unbelievable. Did we find this on Pornhub? I think it's on Pornhub. Unbelievable.

Oh, my gosh. It's got a little line telling me the most popular parts. Also, YouTube did not invent that, by the way. No, of course they didn't. Of course they didn't. Fun fact, YouTube did not invent that. Okay, so there's two humps above the line. There's two. There's two.

There's one a minute in and one about a minute and a half from the end. If this was another sort of video, I would take a guess as to what was happening at those two, but this is obviously not that sort of video, so I'll go to the first hump where most people have rewinded. Please be the song. Yeah! Yeah!

What is this song? Hey! What a voice. What a voice. What a voice. I can see why it's gone viral. Go to the second hump. Can you see why Aaron's going to love this? Listen.

No, listen. This is what I was trying to say to Aaron. Oh, this would be a good renovating song. Yeah, okay. Guys, thank God. Go to the second hump. Okay, here's the second hump. Nah, I'm all about the first hump. Okay.

No, wait, wait, wait. There's a peak of the second hump's coming. A little before the hump. Get the lead in. See what's going to happen here. Okay. Okay. Now, can I ask new producer,

Chanelette Pyjamas, what did you search? Because I feel like I searched everything to find this. We found it through a text just then, but I was looking for you last night and I feel like I searched some problematic things. I was like, multiple men.

Multiple men. Multiple men having good time. Multiple men sounding good. Multiple men Having good time Sounding good Multiple men Sounding good At the same time Yeah I got a security warning

Oh my god Thank god Thank you so much The power of radio We get this a lot in radio People ring up And they're like Can you play that song

It's like I've got no idea There's heaps of Reddit friends Reddit threads That are like What's this song Da da da Da da Da da da And you can just like, I've got no idea. There's heaps of Reddit friends, Reddit threads, eh, that are like, what's this song? Da-da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da. And you can always answer it.

It was written by the conductor. The conductor is Christopher Tinn. He wrote this. Right. This song. He also does video game music. Oh. Yeah.

Probably needs a few more beats per minute for me. It's not going on the gym playlist. The drop that contained the C is the name of the album. Premiered live at Carnegie Hall in 2014, which is what we're watching here. Which is where the multiple men are. Yes. Sounding good at the same time.

Sounding good at the same time. Oh my God, thank you so much. I'm immediately sending this to Aaron to say, I found this, go to one minute. And thank you for allowing me to be potentially problematic. The drama students will be singing loudly. Oh God, this will be a bloody Toy Fakada

audition song now. What happens in a relationship where you're both attention seekers? He's less so. Someone has to be the alpha attention seeker. And you're the alpha attention seeker. Yeah, I'm number one. I take the stage most of the time. Right, okay. Do you let him have the most attention sometimes? Periodically, when he needs to just get some energy out.

Yeah. But in general, it's me. He's a Daniel Day-Lewis. He's a Daniel Day-Lewis, a Viggo Mortensen, very good. But, you know, this is Reese Witherspoon sort of. Yeah, not going to win an Academy Award, but, you know, people know who she is. Yeah, yeah. She's done really well for herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's very rich. Yeah, yeah going to win an Academy Award, but, you know, people know who she is. Yeah, yeah. She's done really well for herself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's very rich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she got to sleep with Rowan Thornberry for a long time. Far out. I couldn't handle it. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

A lady. A lady? I'm a lady. Has told the internet she's saving money. Year of the belt, I think. Yes. Hell year it is. Are we having bad news, Brad, on Fridays?

He confirmed? Monday. Monday. Because we've got more bad news coming about inflation. Well, let's not curse him. He might have some good news for us. Well, it might be good news, but I doubt it. Yeah. He had a nice summer by the looks of things. He did have a good news for us. Well, it might be good news, but I doubt it. Yeah.

He had a nice summer by the looks of things. He did have a nice summer, so we'll chat to him on Monday. I love, for his own birthday, he said, don't buy me a present, it will only add to inflation. I know. To his nearest and dearest. And he didn't buy anyone a Christmas present. Yeah, can you imagine your good friend saying,

absolutely no birthday presents, I don't want to add to the inflation problem. I love that. I love that. Well, it is the year of saving money. Yeah, and she said she's saving money by going on up to six dates a week. So dinner's taken care of. But she is of the understanding that the men should pay.

This is what I'm thinking. How very old school. Yeah, but it's working for her. But six dates a week, that's a lot. We've got three guys and you're doing two dates a week With three people Those aren't six brand new partners a week are they No you can't be doing that

That's insanity No you can't But also like is she setting expectations by saying I can't afford to go out for dinner And waiting for them to say well I'll pay Yeah because if you go out and you say Oh well I'll have a glass of wine And I'll pay. Yeah, because if you go out and you say, oh, well, I'll have a glass of wine and I'll pay for the drinks or something,

that's more expensive than just cooking yourself dinner at home. Yeah. So she must be footing none of the bill. Unless you're making pizzas at home. That's always very expensive. You're always going to be cheaper, eh? That gets a wow on you. Yeah, it does.

All the cheese. That gets a wow on you. Yeah, the cheese. The vegetables and the meats. Yeah. Get some of that Verkeks. Oh, my God, Verkeks. Ver the cheese. The vegetables and the meats. Yeah. Get some of that Verkeks. Oh, my God, Verkeks. Verkeks.

Salami. Salami. Yeah. Always got a pinky of that in the fridge. And then it doesn't always cook it in the middle when it's soggy. Nah. And then you put too much, you've piled it too much, and then you put the knife through it and it just kind of like.

It pulls it all. Yeah. It kind of drags it all off. You should have just bought pizzas. It was cheaper. Yeah, probably. Just go out for pizza. I think that just bought pizzas. It was cheaper. Yeah, probably. Just go out for pizza. Six dates a week. Honestly, I don't have

six things to tell people about myself. You know what I mean? I couldn't think of it. But you'd recycle. You'd just do the same thing every day. What if you told guy number one the same story because you thought he was guy number two? You told him, oh my gosh, this week, and he's like, you've already told me the story.

No, that's why it needs to be six freshies every week. Oh, too many. Too many people. You're not going to remember names. But would you do that for dinners out every night if you didn't have any job to go to the next day? If I ate dinner out every night, I'd be the size of the house. Because when I go out to eat, I go out to eat.

I know you do. It's an event. I eat. It's a calendar event. of the house. Because when I go out to eat, I go out to eat. I know you do. It's an event. I eat. It's a calendar event. Clear the calendar. Yeah. Get some bog roll. Because I'm eating.

I'm eating and I'm putting chilli sauce on everything. Everything's getting the hot sauce treatment. You're not getting six free dates a week, are you? No, no, no. And that would only probably make inflation worse. It probably would, yeah. If I was eating out six nights a week. Oh, God. God, Lord. They'd be like, God, hospitality's bounced back. Yeah. It would only probably make inflation worse if I was eating out six nights a week.

Oh, God. Oh, Lord. I mean, God, hospitality's bounced back. Yeah. He was eating, he was drinking. Oh, God. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. that you would call saber-toothed. Saber-toothed tigers, the most famous of the sabers.

Saber-toothed walruses. Walruses are indeed saber-toothed. Because saber is when what? They come. It's like a blade. It's longer than all the other teeth. Yeah, right. What else?

Mammoth. What else? Mammoth, that's a tusk. That's a tusk. Curled up with not a tooth. This has to be of the teeth, and that is the walrus. Okay. Because that's what we were watching

Frozen? Was it a Frozen? Was it a Frozen? Ice Age? Was it a David Attenborough? Was it a Frozen Planet 2 on Sunday night? Is that the one where they all walruses? I thought you were thinking David Attenborough and Frozen the Disney film. Yeah. Mixed up. David Attenborough singing Let It Go? Yeah.

Is that the one where they all like jump off the cliff? No, it wasn't that one. That was, remember that? Yeah, yeah? Yeah. Is that the one where they all like jump off the cliff? No, it wasn't that one. That was, remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this one was very much focused on climate change. Right. This was my wife and my two daughters.

Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. Oh, no. Every time a polar bear came up, turn it off, turn it off. No, no, no, no, no, turn it off. The polar bear was swimming and there was no ice to be seen. It was swim, swim, swim. They're like, turn it off, turn it off. I touched bear was swimming and there was no ice to be seen. It was swim, swim, swim. They're like, turn it off, turn it off. I touched a polar bear over the holidays.

When? No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I have stroked a polar bear and it was ginormous. Well, it's obviously dead or fake. It's taxidermied. Who has a taxidermy?

So there is an amazing shop in Queenstown called Flora and Fauna. Flora Fauna. Flora and Fauna. And they Fauna. Flora and Fauna. And they have like taxidermy and all this kind of quirky stuff. Very me and Aaron. We saw it. We're like, oh my God, let's go in.

They had all this taxidermy, normal birds and rabbits and all that kind of stuff. And there was a ginormous, I'm talking the size of a horse polar bear. And we were like, that's not fake. That's not real. That's fake. Went up to it and there was a sign and it had been killed, hunted in the 80s, taxidermied.

1880s or 1980s? 1980s. That seems a bit soon. 1980s. And then they basically rescued the taxidermy. They're like, well, we're putting it in the shop so that people can have an experience and enjoy this thing. And you were allowed to touch it. And was it quite wiry? Was it like touching a pig?

No, it was soft. Because I always thought their hair was wiry because that's how they stay warm, right? Their hair is hollow and it's insulated. It's not soft like a bunny rabbit or like a possum, but it's not wiry. It's sort of soft like a dog. You know, like not super wiry.

Yeah, like a retriever or something. Do you reckon they've got them drugged up and chained in a cage in Thailand somewhere that you can pet? Polar bears. Yeah. No, they're alpha predator. I don't think you... Okay. You simply must.

It was the most bizarre experience of my life. Wow, okay. I mean, check that out. You'd have to be right on top of your pammel if you were trying to keep a polar bear sedated because the minute you'd miss one... Your ibuprofen, your four-hour riboprofen, it'll absolutely eat you alive. I am joking.

We don't need to support those horrible places in Thailand. We really don't. Turn it off, turn it off. Back to that part. As your wife and daughters are used to straw. Can we just quickly move because I'm just removing the photos of myself on an elephant in Thailand from my Facebook page.

Hang on. You're on it. Hang on. It was the first time I went. It was the first time I went. Some of them are ethical places. Thailand from my Facebook page. Hang on. You're on it. Hang on. It was the first time I went. It was the first time I went. It was a rescue place. No, no, no, no. Not if you're on them.

Not if you're on them. You can't get on them ethically. You cannot get on them ethically. What can you get on ethically? Nothing. There's very few animals. Wow, the jury's out. Ethically, there's...

No, not even horses. A mule? That doesn't want to be ridden by you. There's very few animals that you could ride ethically. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay. Maybe like a big sheep when you're a little kid.

And you get on and it's just like... And you're just holding on. Whoa! What about a camel? I've ridden a camel. Oh, God, I've ridden a camel and an elephant. Same. Camel in Dubai Elephant in Thailand

Ethically Camels are a grey zone For me I don't know Would you want to lug you Around a desert On one hand That's hot I'd look fairly happy about it

That'd be hot Yeah they'd be hot about it I know I learnt about The elephant thing Because I was like No but we went to a rescue place And people were like But you still got on it

Yeah And made it walk around There's like eight levels of investigation when it comes to anything elephant related in Thailand. And the top seven levels are no good. And there's only like a couple of places that tick all the boxes. Yeah.

Right. Okay. But we were talking about saber-toothed animals because the walrus was on on Sunday night. One of my daughters said, it's like a saber-toothed seal. And I cracked up laughing because it was a very funny thing.

But it turns out scientifically correct. There's more sabertooth things. The girl I went to primary school was a bit sabertoothed. You know, there's always that girl. Who's her fangs? Yeah, like almost vampire. Her canines. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you were going to have any big teeth, those would be the cooler teeth than having big buck teeth. I'd always bite my lip. Yeah, same. Yeah. Bite an apple and go through my lip, bottom lip. So there's a musk deer, which is technically saber-toothed as well. Yeah. It's one of the few saber-toothed animals living today, but it's a herbivore, which is weird because most of them, you know, it's for fighting or killing other things.

There's an extinct saber-toothed salmon. A salmon. I love salmon. A salmon? I love salmon. Yes. So expensive now. You loved it a little bit too. Is that? Well, you've got to get it reduced to clear.

They were two metres long and weighed 300 kgs. Oh, my God. You'd get so many tins. Oh, my God. Imagine the tins. You'd get so many smoked. Imagine the poke bowl. I bet Countdown would still leave in the bones.

Yeah, probably. Okay, okay, okay still leave in the bones. Yeah, probably. Okay, okay, okay. De-boned. Yeah, tell that to my esophagus. That's nice. You just walk back in and you're like, is that de-boned? It's sideways.

You still got to chew your salmon. Yeah, I'm chewing the salmon. Because you can chew those bones. Yeah, probably because I always only buy reduced to clear because otherwise it's too expensive. It is. Right. There was an extinct saber tooth,

what would be what we would compare to a rhinoceros. A saber tooth rhinoceros. So it didn't just have the two horns centre. It had six horns. End, middle, top of the head and the saber tooth. Cool. I found a skull of that. Yeah, that's horrible.

So yeah, there's been lots of, there was a marsupial, like kind of the closest thing I could compare it to would be a Tasmanian tiger. Cool. But a big saber-toothed marsupial as well. Yeah. And various old skulls that they've found around the place are indeed saber-toothed. So today's fact of the day is it's not just saber-toothed tigers. There's quite a few saber-toothed. So today's fact of the day is it's not just saber-toothed tigers. There's quite a few saber-toothed animals.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We saw this popping up all over the internet last night. There was a woman in LA who has been sharing online that she is so allergic to everything. She has a... Diagnosed with a disease called Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. It attacks her immune system and essentially gives her allergic reactions to things. So throughout her entire life,

she has kept a diary of everything she ate and if she reacted to it, she eliminated it. You can think about every single food in the world. She would go through it. I mean, not every single food. But you know what I mean. Anything that she would eat, she would eat it, write it down,

reacted to it, can't eat it anymore. So she'd eat one thing at a time then? Yeah. Or she couldn't do a mixed plate of food? Because you wouldn't know who was the culprit. Oh, my gosh. So this took years and years of her life. She's in her 20s now.

And at this point now, from what she knows, she can eat nine foods. What are the nine foods? And when I say nine foods, it includes, so it's turkey. Yeah. Mahi-mahi. Fish? Yes. Yes.

Cucumber, green beans, zucchini, olive oil, salt, lime, and glucose supplements. Make a recipe out of that. So, but I'm going, if she's including salt and olive oil on there, does that mean that other herbs and spices she can't eat? Maybe, yeah. Pepper and... Oh, my God. And so, turkey with green beans, like, is she allowed any sauces? No sauces.

No sauces. No gravy. No gravy. No cheese? No vinegars. Wow. No cheese. No fruit.

So, what happens if she eats though? She has big allergic reactions in her skin and her throat and everything. She has a terrible time. It can be life-threatening for her, meaning she can't go to restaurants. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to, would you? You couldn't go to a peanut-free restaurant. You'd have to go to a food-free restaurant. You certainly couldn't guarantee that peanut-free status could you? No. You can't.

It may contain nuts. Oh, wow. Nine foods. Anyway, people were jumping on and going like, oh my god, I'm allergic to everything as well. But I wanted to know if our listeners have some weird allergies. Maybe you're allergic to something that we just wouldn't believe. You know some people are allergic to water and they get that skin condition and they can't go

in the water. So how do they shower? So the rain doesn't go inside. Are they just dry flannel? Or dry shampoo? I don't condition. They can't go in the water. So how do they shower? They just go inside. Do they use dry flannel or dry shampoo? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a dermatologist. A dermatologist. A dermalogicist. It's like people that are allergic to latex.

Mmm. That's actually... No. No, you can get latex free condoms. Yeah, stuff like that. But they always ask you right when you go to the doctor are you can get latex-free condoms. Yeah, stuff like that. But they always ask you, right, when you go to the doctor, are you allergic to latex? Because they put latex gloves on. And so then they've got to go into the latex-free ones to touch you.

But, you know, even when you get, like, injections or something, they say, are you allergic to anything? I don't know. Not yet. I always say not yet. Yeah. Because aren't any allergies? Not yet.

We're about to find out. Yeah. I'm just general,. We're about to find out. Yeah. I'm just general, like, household cleaners and stuff. You're allergic to household cleaners? Yeah, just makes me, gives me eczema. I'll get like,

you know when we started, cleanser that way. What about Palmolive? It was famous in the 80s for its campaign. It was gentle on hands. Yeah, was it not? Not gentle enough.

Sprout. Monstrous. Yeah, I feel I get Not gentle enough for Sproul. Monstrous. Yeah, I feel I get off pretty lightly. I can't do hand sanitiser. Like when everybody was hand sanitising, my skin would just peel off. But I mean, that's on the scheme of things. It's not allergic to like most foods.

I did one of those hair test things, you know, at a naturopath. They give you, send off a hair sample and it tells you what you're allergic to. Unreliable. Anything that you're allergic to unreliable anything that ends in path is unreliable yeah I mean it might work for you

but it can't be yeah but it came back with you know your general kind of household stuff and then apples was one and I definitely get a little like

do you but apples are full of histamines so I think anyone it's like wine full of histamines is it yeah yeah

oh sorry we can finally it can make you histamines. So I think anyone, it's like wine full of histamines. Is it? Yeah, yeah. Sorry, we finally had a little bit. It can make you like a little puffy and stuff. But I want to know if you've got an allergy that's maybe a bit out there, a bit random or if like this woman, you're literally allergic to everything. There's a woman who's been sharing her journey online. She can only eat nine foods. Those are the only foods she is not

allergic to in her life. What were those? Cucumber, beans, cucumber, some fish, some beans, some turkey, salt, olive oil and a lime. You can't make a lot of food with that. Like a lot of dishes. There wouldn't be a lot of variety. A fresh cucumber with some lime, sure. I want a cake.

Yeah. So we want to know if you've got weird allergies or something strange with your allergies. Joanna, what are you allergic to? I had a allergic reaction to finagin. Finagin? What is that? It's what you take to have when you get an allergic reaction. It's an antihistamine. Wait, so you're allergic to the stuff that you take when you have allergies?

Yes. How did you work this out? So you were having a sneeze? So I was, like, getting all itchy and stuff, so I had some Finnegan and my lips swelled up. Oh, but is that a cheap lip filler? Finnegan, no, no, no. Finnegan's probably cheaper than injections.

Yeah, actually. So what do you do now if you get allergies? You have to take something else? Yeah, just take something else. Oh, my gosh. What a way to find out, though, eh? Yeah, exactly. Your lips just start going... Yeah, it's about to go on a flight.

Oh, dear. Like, hello? Hmm. I think I'm in the aisle seat. I think you might be in my seat. Yeah. People get spray tans for holidays. You've got a little lip filler.

A little lip filler. All right. That's good, baby. We'll get to more of your calls next. Ah, what you you allergic to? Some poor woman's really battling with this. And I'll tell you what, allergies must be bloody horrible. Thank you.

I refuse to believe I'm getting any sort of hay fever. Over the summer, I had like a stuffy nose some days, and Shade said, it'll be hay fever. I said, I won't be. I know. I'm an invincible man. There's something kind of weak about it, eh? Because I went to Auckland, Wellington,

Queenstown, Christchurch, and I had terrible hay fever in all of these places. And everywhere, everyone was like, God, you city, you bloody city slickers, you're weak. And I was like, I'm just allergic to something in the air. I don't know what's... And country dwellers are surrounded by pollen? Yeah.

So we want to know, are the unusual things that you're allergic to, Jess, this is a mother-in-law, what's she allergic to? It's really, really hard to take her out anywhere, to be honest. Okay. So she's allergic to caffeine, so she won't have chocolate. She'll have white chocolate, but not milk chocolate or Coke or anything like that

because she gets heart palpitations. Well, we've already established that white chocolate's not chocolate. Excuse me, it is chocolate. It's not chocolate. It's more closely already established that white chocolate's not chocolate. Excuse me, it is chocolate. It's not chocolate. It's more closely related to fudge than it is chocolate. It is. That's just the start. And then she unfortunately got cancer and she went through chemotherapy

and now she can't have anything with like vinegar in it or like she won't touch tomatoes. How did chemotherapy do that? Apparently. Really? It changes your balance in your tummy. You get a bit acidic.

And you can't have a vinaigrette. Or could you have citrus oranges and stuff? No, she won't touch anything like that. Oh, wow. Then she's gone all organic. I can understand why, because she said she has really bad reactions to it. And she doesn't want to take a meprizol for it, and I can understand she has a reaction to that.

Oh, for God's sake. My goodness. I hate that, you know, when you have a dish and you're like, it's missing something. It's nearly always citrus. Yes. Jess, thank you for your call. Kat, what's the unusual thing you're allergic to?

I'm allergic to the cold. The cold weather. Well, no one to the cold. The cold weather? Well, no one enjoys the cold. Like the cold weather, yeah. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant you're allergic to having a cold. I was like, well, essentially we all are, we're all sick. No, I'm a woman, I'm not a man.

No man's still here. Now, so what happens when you're in the cold then? How do you react? I get like a hives and a red rash and i'm really itchy that would be how some people would have uh react to the sun or heat yeah it's the um opposite right and so where do you live in the country i'm in waikato okay okay not terrible yeah so what do you do in winter do you just have to rug up? Yeah, pretty much. I lived in the South Island for a winter when I was a teenager.

Yep. And that actually wasn't too bad. Okay. Because it's, I don't know, it's drier there. Like it's a drier floor. It's not wet. It's the humidity that'll get you there. It's the humidity that'll get you there.

The rain is definitely the worst. Like if I get caught in the rain. Oh, okay. And you just get a rash. Yeah, rash, really itchy hives. Like, it's horrible. Natasha Bedingfield, then. She loved getting caught in the rain.

She did, yeah. I hope you're not going to Elton John. You'll need some fly fishing waders. Yeah, you will. We're already using them. Yeah, Vorns are already taken. Oh, he's got any like a... No, no, no. He's not occupied. No, Vorms are already taken. Oh, he's got any idea. No.

No. He's not occupied. No, I've gypsied the waiters, Kat. You should not get the waiters. I often think, would I last very long in any other time? Like if I'd been born in the 1800s?

Oh, no. Would I have died of something? Yeah. But then I'm not allergic to anything. Like, you imagine having a bad allergy in the 1800s

and they're just like, don't know. And they're wacky with the Bible and if that didn't cure, you'd just be in an orphanage. What's the STI that eats at your brain? Syphilis. Syphilis. Right. Back in the day, there was no cure.

Well, there was no antibiotics. Yeah. But antibiotics take care of it. So you would have, what, become a crazy witch? Crazy witch. Syphilis witch. They wouldn't have, what, become a crazy witch? Crazy witch. Syphilis witch. They would have called me old, sprawly syphilis witch. Because you could survive it, but it would disappear.

There is a show on Amazon Prime. Is it Amazon Prime? Emily Blunt's in it. I've got a lot of time for Emily Blunt. Fantastic actress. Top Gear. Is it Top Gear? Did she drive a theatre around the course?

It's not Clarkson's Farm. It was called The English six part series did she get syphilis set in well that's a massive spoiler alert whether or not

somebody gets syphilis but there's a syphilis connection because when you said it was the one that eats the brain I was like and then I remember

that was the thing that I learnt a lot about syphilis from that show is syphilis still rocking around is that why she's singing a lot about syphilis from that show. Is syphilis still rocking around? Is that why she was singing? Rocking around the syphilis, having a chirati break.

Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheezing. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.