ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 26th January 2022

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. Available now at Macca's. You'll remember yesterday I said today is Jiminy Day. I'm getting my new Jiminy today, Wednesday.

The Suzuki Jiminy. Yeah, very exciting. And yesterday I was told I would receive a call In the afternoon With the license plate So I could contact My insurance person Oh yeah And say I've got a new car

This is it This is the license plate Yeah Well I got a call Yesterday afternoon And my usually Very excitable Salesperson

Whose favourite part Of his job Is ringing people To let them know That their car's around We talked about this He sounded sad Oh no

Mr. Vorgan he says I said hello Yes And he said I was ringing people to let them know that their cars were wrecked. We talked about this. He sounded sad. Oh, no. Oh. Mr. Vorgan, he says. I said, hello, yes. And he said, I ring with sad news. And I was like, this is not. Oh, no, not, no. Apparently the entire NZTA, is that who would look after the number plates? I think so, yeah.

The system was down. They couldn't, because I guess they're a car kayak they just go on and they order like 12 plates. Yeah right. And they put he's like we could not do it. We will try it again first thing in the morning

but we could not do it. Oh wow okay. And then a cop who I talk to mostly about Star Wars Where do you talk to this cop

about Star Wars? On Instagram Damien and I we regularly talk about police because mostly for his job he pulls over trucks and weighs them. Oh okay. Damien and I, we regularly talk about police. Because mostly for his job, he pulls over trucks and weighs them. Oh, okay.

Now, do you know what they call the cops that mostly pull over trucks and weigh them? A truck cop. They call them mermaids. Why? Because, in his words, cunts with scales. Is that what the truck drivers call them? Yes. I know.

Wow. And they heard about it and it hurt their feelings. And I said, yes, that would also hurt my feelings. I think mermaids, there's a majestic creature. Jeepers, creepers, that's brutal. Truck drivers aren't, you know, their language can be pretty blue. Oh, yeah. Anyway, he said, did you get your number plate?

Yeah. And I said, no, because the system's down. And he's like, is that what's happening? Because he said he tried to issue some tickets, but he couldn't search by number plate. I think he could still assign them to the person, but not search the number plate. Oh, right. So have you heard whether or not the issue is resolved? As yet, no.

I have not. I'm expecting a phone call. But you're meant to get it today. Because if they can't get it registered, I can't pick it up today. No. And then what if it's not Jiminy Day today? Oh, no. We're going to have to hear another day of you whinging.

I'm in Jiminy, my Jiminy. No, no, I haven't been whinging. No, you're not. I was just mocking you because I like to see you hurt. Wow. So the police felt when they found out what truck drivers call them, they want to just make sure they're legally driving their vehicles. Yeah.

Have you decided on a name yet? Well, that's because somebody messaged me saying their mum just got a new car and the number plate was Pam, P-A-M. I thought Pam would be pretty cool, but Pat would be better. P-A-T. And you could have a little Postman Pat Postman Pat emblem on the side Yeah, and I had an Auntie Pat

She was my favourite great auntie growing up She's still around, she's still kicking But you'll have to hop in to find out What gender it feels like The car Right You know what I mean? How? How do you get a gender feel on the car?

You just get in and you just feel around And it's either, you know, you sort of figure it out Right, okay I'd always imagined a Jimny would be a female. It's quite smaller and you're riding it. So yeah, female. A very silly lady car. Wow.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. So Fletch Vaughan and Hayley, it's two minutes past six. You've been ordering medical masks online. I did, I just placed an order for your classic box of 50. Because they're actually quite hard to find. You got 50 what?

Of just your normal blueys. Oh, okay, those are easy to get. And then I bought some of your P2s. Oh yeah, see those are hard to get because they don't look online yesterday. Where did I go? Very hard to find. I got my letters and numbers confused and I ordered a ream of A4.

Nice. It does not keep COVID out. It doesn't? Very hard to breathe through. Origami? Yeah, it's a 200 GSM. Oh, so it's a good stock. Fixed.

I got him a beautiful birthday card. Oh, it works. Yeah. Breathing through it's hard, though. Yeah. We learned. We tried to shortcut the booster system and we got caught. Go on.

That's because this is a good morning for other people. Because we're booked in. We didn't try to shortcut the system. So we booked in because we were like a day apart, eh, from getting the second vax. And so our date was close. You booked in for exactly four months later. And then I went to book Aaron,

but the day that he's due to be booked, he's actually flying somewhere to film something. And I was like, well, we could try to get you a little bit earlier. So I just adjusted the date of his second vaccination to a couple of days earlier so I could book him in. And they accepted it

and I was like, great, that's done. And then they emailed yesterday being like, ah, no. You cheeky bastards. Really? You cheeky little bastards.

Is he at the four month, because what is the minimum gap between? Four months. Yeah. To the day, basically. And so to get it a few days earlier, which you'd probably be able to do, but you won't be able to book it.

You'll just have to sort of rock up. But yeah, we tried to book it online on the COVID vaccine. And they knew. And they were like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Who do you think you are? It's not happening.

How do I find out? Hey, that's cool. I mean, like, generally when I open the COVID tracing app now, I just go straight to record visit. But look, it's got little stats at the bottom of it now. Oh, yeah. It's always had a few stats. Stats. Yeah. Yeah, like,

how many, like, daily scans. There are 2.4 people with Bluetooth active tracing. 2.4 million New Zealanders. That's pretty good. That's good. 15,000 QR code scans today. That's not good enough. No. That's not good enough. No. That's not good enough. But how do I find out?

Is it in my vaccine pass? You've got to log into your My Health thing to get your NHI number, and that tells you when you got your vaccines. And then you've got to go log back into it. But wouldn't I be able to work it out by my expiry date? No. This is an argument I've had with, like, four different people. Everyone's got the same. Everyone has the same expiry date on their Vax Pass.

Because they got the booster and extended it by one month. Oh, really? That doesn't feel. Why? I don't know. Everyone's like May, eh? Yeah, May, June. No, you have to get extended to June, yeah.

You've got to log into My record or the vaccine COVID record. Yeah. Real me? Yeah, use your real me. Really? Get the date, then go on to book my vaccine. Book your booster. Okay.

Easy. They've made it easy. It actually is. I've made it sound complicated. But don't try to play the system because they'll catch you. They will, which you know about. Free fuel this morning. Your chance to win it's 7 o'clock and 8.

Coming up, bad news for you spinners. You spin class lovers out there. Turns out it might not be as good for you as you think it is. We do spin. I've got a spin class today. We've got the trip. We do have the trip today. Well, that's because you're taking L.A. Sten

and then trying to ride a stationary bike, Matt. Gets you fit, though. Gets you heart racing. Gets you fit and feeling good. The top six is coming up. Tova O'Brien can't start a new radio show because a restraint of trade has been enforced. Oh, we've had a restraint of trade, haven't we, before? It was glorious.

It was called gardening leave. Three months. Yes. It was beautiful, I recommend. Everybody that went, Tover's like, I need to get to this new job. I was like, calm down. How are your gardens afterwards? Well, I got all my gardening done on like day two

So then just okay masturbatory leave Tell you what I never quite got that finished Every now and then I still try You think you are Some days you think you are There's more in the tank You wake up the next morning surprise surprise

I could go again I could absolutely go again So you've got some ideas for Tova. Yeah. Some job ideas. Well, there's some jobs that need doing around the place. Yeah, absolutely. It's coming up in the top six.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. People have found themselves caught out, of course, with the new surge of Omicron, the new impending wave. Oh, yeah. Flights. A lot of people had plans to come to events, and they'd book flights. And they have found that they're not getting the credit like they used to.

Okay, so the events are, like, off. Yeah. Indefinitely postponed. Absolutely feeling for anyone in the entertainment and arts industry at the moment. Thank you. That's not you. You're fine. You're all right.

My business is registered into the entertainment industry. So I appreciate that. And I think you're okay. Fill the coffers. But it's absolutely heartbreaking because there's no way these people can work. Because people can't go to gigs. And at the moment there's no sort of outward support. No.

There's a lot of petitions that you can sign online to help out those in that industry. But from the 31st of October, in New Zealand changed the rules. And they're saying that because in traffic like red setting you can still fly they're not giving refunds of course because last time you get a refund like that yes because basically you can't use the flight well you couldn't you're false you couldn't leave your city and in a lot of instances you couldn't leave auckland for example um but unless you booked one of their flexible flights that you could get a refund for, you're tough out of luck. Shoot.

I mean, I guess you can log on, pay the fare difference, and then book it for like three months later just so you can have a holiday in three months, right? Yeah, but the fare difference is always, because I always book so in advance, the fare difference is always like double. You might as well buy a new flight. You might as well just buy a new flight. Yeah, because you bought that flight for $60. How much extra is a flexi? It's like $20 more, eh? You might as well buy a new flight. You might as well just buy a new flight. Yeah, because you bought that flight for $60.

How much extra is a Flexi? It's like $20 more, eh? No, I want to say it's like $40 or $50 at least. Oh, okay. Because it goes up from the cheapest. Because nowadays you've got to always do it, don't you? The Flexi fare. I think it should become default, personally. Yeah, same.

Flights should just be, say, 40 hours more expensive and flexibly defined. Maybe we won't, like lots of stores, we won't refund you, but we'll give you credit. So the company still has the money, but the service that they provide for you is just delayed. I mean, least they could do. We gave them half a billion dollars of our taxpayer money. What? Is tax a thing? Are we still doing that?

I wasn't going to do it this year Yeah I took the year off Please tell me you're paying tax now Well what do you mean When we say paying tax What are we referring to? You sorted out your IRD? I pay my taxes

Good okay Pay some of them off Slowly Yeah But almost definitely surely Some of them in like acts of service. Because you do after pay with the IRD, right? Yeah, I do after pay.

Yeah. Four easy installments. Yeah. You can do your tax like that. You can choose to do your tax spread out over four payments over the year. Which is just government after pay. Except at the end of it, you're not left with like a moochie sweater or something. Oh, I'd love a moochie sweater. Don't get me started.

I'm a moochie sweater. Next on the show. Six out of ten people have something written. Their wills? I haven't done that yet. No, I actually think it would be less people have their wills sorted. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Gosh, when did we have the lovely Brad in? Was Brad in yesterday? Yesterday. Bad news Brad. Economist. Bad news Brad. Bad news Brad Olsen. Senior economist. Talking about the great resignation. Yeah. How so many people are like, well, screw this job. I'll go to another

one that pays more. Because what did he say? Like 50% of people didn't get a pay rise in the last year, but all the cost of livings have gone up. So we're basically in negatives. Well, in a study in America, half of the American surveyed already had a resignation letter drafted and saved for when they are going to hit their breaking point at work.

Is that like when you're really mad at someone and you write a strongly worded email to get it out, but you don't send it? You sit on it. You delete it. Yeah. Dearest Vaughn. Ross Boss, who I've known for years once imparted that wisdom on

me when we were both younger men. He said, if you're angry, write a letter. Write an email, put it in the drafts, leave it overnight, in the morning do something, then revisit it. And so now when I want to send him an angry email, I don't. And I'm like, remember that advice you gave me?

Stick it up your ass. And then I just hit him with strongly worded email. I just prefer to yell at people immediately. Yes. Knee jerk reaction. Yeah, yeah. Get it off your chest. And then you're done with it, but it stays with them for an eternity.

Well, that's on them for not moving on, isn't it? That's one way to live life. That's on you that you feel hurt. You do wrong, somebody else's problem. Yeah. 34% of people had also quit a job within the past two years, so in pandemic, you know, since the pandemic kicked off. Quit, not got fired.

Quit. Or made redundant. Yeah, quit. Yeah, wow. Maybe they saw the writing was on the wall, or maybe they're like, we need to get rid of some people and someone's like, well, I actually hate it here, so why don't I leave? Make it easier for you.

Yeah. So it's still happening. Yeah, people have got the email written and ready to go. Do you have to write it down? Can't you just say to the boss, I'm leaving? Nah. I'm leaving. Remember Paula Bennett?

I'm leaving. Remember when Bennett? I'm leaving. Remember when she left Parliament? She got all shirty? Well, she did it on Tom Sainsbury's Instagram, didn't she? Yeah, but that was as a thing. They were in Parliament and they were having a go at her. She was like, I'm leaving. So that's I don't think you can do that. No.

We've got to have it formally written. HR like a formally written letter. So if you've got it written, you're not alone. You're not alone. Many people do. I've got some bad news for you spin class lovers out there. Two of whom are in this room. Are you a spin boy, Vaughn?

I haven't done spin for a very long time. I used to enjoy it. Any kind of stationary exercise bike activity. I don't do the bike at the gym. Just the ordinary bike. Because you'd be an absolute waste of time. I want the most calories burned for time invested. Yeah, that's fair.

So you can't go past the treadmill or the stair machine. Yesterday I did a row for 20 minutes. Very few calories burned according to the machine. And my watch, I'm like Stuff you wrote Great for the shoulders And abdominals Yeah really great Yeah but what about the calories

I am a numbers man Yeah but you're looking At the machine You're not looking At the calories That your abdominals Are burning all night Your body

Your shoulders I'm off the machine I'm done I'm a bag of biscuits deep They burn later While you're eating the biscuits You mistake what I go to the gym for I only go to the gym to earn the numbers

So later on I can eat the numbers But you go to a classless gym Yeah It's not trashy I mean you don't have instructor classes Oh yeah no no no So we're Les Millses You and I Fletch and we love the trip.

You got the sticker on your back window? Oh, no. No. My mechanic removed it. Good. He's a good man or woman. I must have thought I was a... Is he a city fitnesser?

A ponce, yeah, maybe. Maybe he's an F45 or something. Yeah. Anyway, so love a bit of a spin class, but I read this article, and now I've read the whole thing, and I'm going to try to proceed with caution here because there's this article here that says that basically spinning could be bad for you, in particular women.

And I would say the majority of people in our spin classes are women. Women, we love a spin. I don't like to see a woman working a sweat. You don't? It's not good for their dainty. It's really not. It's not. The smell. It often washes the makeup off.

I don't want to see a woman without a wall paint on, you know? Well, bad news for you women that don't care what old gym pest Vaughn thinks about your appearance. I asked yesterday, the girl at the gym must have heard us talk about it, and she said to me, there's been no complaints. You are not

even on our radar as a gym pest and that made me feel like so relieved who is on their radar for being a gym pest I don't know how big is their radar it makes it sound like

they've got a big system there how often quick question if you work at a gym you can text message in yeah 9696 how many people

is there like some gym pests that you watch because somebody has said they need to be watched, they're a gym pest. Like a consistent pest. Yeah, and what percentage of people at a gym. It'd be a big part of their day, I'd say.

Well, back to the spin class. It turns out, for the ladies in particular, it can actually take quite a toll on the body, particularly the Volvo. Now that's the Swedish car with a great safety record. No, no, that's the Volvo. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, you missed it there.

No, the Volvo. And your pelvic floor can take a bit of a beating, I was going to say. I thought it would have been good for the pelvic floor. Isn't the pelvic floor internal? Yeah, but if you're... How are you riding that bike? You're up and you're down. You're doing your hills and then you slam down.

Absolutely. Because we've both had incidences in the same... In the same class. Yeah. Is your vulva okay, Fletch? Well, mine got a bit of a pinch. Oh, yeah, but that'll happen. And then I sat on a ball.

I sat on a ball. But that's spin class. Yeah, so second... It was one of those ones where you're like up for eight, down for eight, up for four, down for, up, up, up, up. And I just sort of went pinch and I went, ow. And then I looked over to Fletch and he went, I just sat on my balls.

I just pinched him. But you're not wearing bike shorts. No, I'm wearing gym shorts. Because I don't want to take that step from being a casual spin classer to getting the clippity cloppity shoes and the tights. You were talking

about the shoes though. I know the shoes would be good. No, I'm not going with you. Honestly, get the shorts. I had a pair of padded shorts

for when I used to do the Saturday morning spin and it changes the game. But it pads the bum. No, it ran all the way through. Oh, you had the woman's ones.

Because they might have been the woman's ones? Because they might have been woman's ones, but I don't care because it was so much more comfortable, the padding and the seat. And you can pull the whole penis and testicles up and then the pant holds them up there so you don't sit on them. Oh, right. Well, again, this is predominantly aimed at women, this article here, but they're saying that if you sit in the wrong position on the bike,

it can make it really bad and actually impact your pelvic floor. And anyone who's had a baby knows that that's a real pain in the anus. Or a vulva. Yeah, having a damaged pelvic floor. So they're saying to talk to your instructor about the right way to sit on the bike. I don't know that. I don't know how they would know. Well, you sit on the seat.

Yeah, I don't know. But they say that one study found that when handlebars are positioned lower than the saddle, so you've got them down too much, you have yours quite low, it adds increased perineum pressure. Oh, the gooch. The gooch. So I'm stressing my gooch.

You're slamming your gooch. I'm stressing my gooch. This guy's got a leathery old gooch. It seems to me. Yeah. I don't think we need to worry about old Tyrannosaurus gooch here. Women who ride with a low handlebar can experience greater pelvic tilt, causing their pelvic floor muscles to tighten.

We've got a class today. Let's have our handlebars up. Do you want to hear a horrific story that I heard as a child when my dad used to do cycling? I don't know. I don't know if I do. There was a chat amongst these cyclists and like, we're little kids, so we go along and we used to stand on the corner of the roads where the cyclists would go around the corner

and if we saw a cyclist coming, we'd wave flag to let cars know that the cyclists were there. That's nice. I don't know if they do that anymore. You're probably not allowed to just stand on the road as a seven year old and walk a bit. It doesn't sound safe.

But they used to gather before and afterwards for a chat and one guy came in and he's like, okay, if you need to go to the bathroom

during the race, it's important that you go. A friend of mine had about 100 k's to go on this race. He was doing quite well for himself. So he tucked his penis under and sat on it.

At the end of the race, he tried to urine it. He crushed his urethra. Oh no. It was a medical situation. He had to go in and get like a balloon put up and re-inflated.

So he could weigh out of it again. And you're a seven-year-old kid listening to this. That's how scarring it is. That's seven. I'm going to be 40. 33 years ago, I can hear, I can see the person saying it. I feel like I'm that high, tall again.

I'm looking up. Would you have enough to tuck it right under? No. No. No. No. No. I just try and end up pissing backwards.

From the underground ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hi, Tova O'Brien, ex-News Hub political reporter. Yes. She worked for News Hub. She was, you know, featured heavily in the 1pm presses. Yeah. Jessica. Jessica, then Tova, then Jason, then...

Yep. Back to you. Oh, no, Jason never goes third. Back to you, Jessica. No. He's down the track. Sometimes Jason would go third. Oh, look, we love Jason.

Yeah. Works for the company. Well, I remember the first one, he had a couple of hiccups. Yeah. But I feel like Delta, he was a bit more onto it. I get the feeling she doesn't like Jason at all. She's definitely got her favourites. Oh, yeah, Jessica and Tova.

Jessica and Tova. Jessica Tova. She's a feminist. Yeah. Who else would she name? Jessica Tova. She being Jacinda. When she'd go...

Line up the... I don't know. Those are the ones that come... Derek. Sometimes Derek. Derek. from The Herald. He's always in there. She'd feel happy enough to say, we'll go Jessica, Tova, Jason, Derek.

Then we'll come back to Tova. She knew Tova would have another question for her. She wasn't going to give her two in a row, though. But Tova O'Brien has left News Hub. She's going to be... She's starting a job in breakfast radio. I can't look down there. And I'm like, as I'm yawning.

As Hayley's yawning and chucking the towel in on week two. But she can't start. No. The restraint of trade is where you leave one company, even though this used to be the same company. Now the TV and radio have split. She's going from the TV side to the radio side.

They're in competition now. And I tell you what, it was bloody swords at dawn over who was going to get Tova. And if we can't have her, no one can, said TV. And so there's a restraint of trade and force. We can't go and work for a competitor. We had this between our last job

and when we worked here eight years ago. Oh my god, why doesn't she just want three months off? So basically you get paid to stay at home. You can negotiate to get paid by your new company. Oh? Yeah. And you just stay at home and work the garden. They want you.

So you're like, well I'm not having three months off unpaid. Unpaid. How will I pay the bills? True. And so you negotiate that. How badly do you want me? How badly do you want me? And then you go to Columbia for two months.

Well, you went to Columbia for two months. You go to Columbia. Yeah, I just travelled. Oh, wow. Great fun. You actually did the garden. I did the gardens. Turing Garden.

Got that done and then I can't remember. A lot of playing with myself. So anyway, she can't start until March the 14th. Right. So I've got the top six jobs for Tova O'Brien to fill. She seems to love working. Yeah. What's wrong with her?

Full. Just sit down and enjoy nothing. And I'll tell you what the weirdest part about it is. We'll find out the world goes on without you. Yeah. And other stuff happens. The top six jobs Number six

I've got her down To help out With the NUSI testing For Omicron That's I reckon Tover Would be a bit of a dab Hand at getting the old

The swab up the nose Yeah Up the NUS Yep Hand the NUS One Two Three

Four Five Are you Tover O'Brien? Yeah Stay still Stay I'm going to have to start again now. I have to start again now.

And she could help out. Yeah, that'd be great. She's on deck. I'd feel in good hands, I reckon. If Tova was. Yeah, if Tova was in the noose. I reckon she's done a couple of weeks training. I don't know.

Yeah. I've had it up the noose a couple of times. Three times? Your noose. I've done noose virgin. Your noose remains unpenet a noose version. Your noose remains unpenetrated. I haven't had it,

well, I haven't been sick during COVID times. He never gets sick. He's crazy. He never gets sick. Well, don't jinx me

because we've seen your- He never gets Omicron. This guy never gets the virus. This guy never gets- We've already worked out that you're going to get it first. 100%. I don't get sick either.

I've only had it in the noose for like work purposes when they need, you know, proof of- I've had four colds since this started and it had it in the noose for like work purposes when they need, you know, proof of... I've had four colds since this started and it's been up the noose every time. Yeah.

But I reckon Tova would hold your head back. She'd be quite like dominating. And maybe sort of like rub the forehead a bit. I should know her pressure points. I don't think she'd touch your forehead. In the noose and out. Number five on the list of the top six jobs for Tova O'Brien to see her through to the end of the restraint of trade.

She could help teach English classes because she's very good at repeating the same phrase over and over, be it a question that Jessica just asked or a question of the Prime Minister that's clearly been answered every day for the last eight weeks. Yeah, but she needs the question for her report. And her voice. She can't use Jessica's question for her report.

No, she can't. She needs to master recording of atmospheric noise to put underneath and then just re-record her asking the question and then Jessica's. That's how you do it in the film industry. That's a little bit. What do they call it? ATR? ADR. ADR. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Number four on the list of the top six jobs for Tova O'Brien

well during her restraint of trade is Valentine's Day. Oh, okay. So those market gardeners will be all hands on deck to get the roses picked. She'd pick some roses. She'd pick some roses. Actual gardening leave. Yeah, gardening on her gardening leave.

Number three on the list are the top six jobs to Tova O'Brien on her gardening leave. She could perfect the art of pouring a Guinness because St. Patrick's Day is in March. Yeah. And you've got to know what you're doing to pour a Guinness. It's not as straightforward as you think. You're going to leave it for a long time. Yeah, it's got to sit. It's got to settle. you've got to know what you're doing to pour a Guinness. It's not as straightforward as you think. You're going to leave it for a long time. Yeah, it's got to sit. It's got to settle.

It's got to settle. It's got to settle down. Disgusting stuff. Yeah, I love it. Oh, I love it. I'm growing to love a Guinness. Give me a berry cider any day. Yeah, okay.

A record of length or whatever it is. It is a real surprise with your love for the ladylike drinks that your noose has not been absolutely destroyed. Number two on the list of the top six jobs that overrode Brian during her gardening leave. You know,

how many people are saying that like fruit, there's not enough fruit pickers in the country. Yeah. Ira can get her out there picking fruit. Okay.

Or at least driving that cute little tractor. Oh yeah. The cute little tractor that bumps its way down the orchards. I kind of want one of those to bring to work. A cute little tractor.

But it won't fit in the apartment elevator. I want a cute... No, you'd leave it. You'd get a park. What, in the CBD? No, you'd buy a park. You'd hire a park and a parking building. Oh, okay.

And get a cute little tractor. It's too expensive. Okay. And number one for the list of the top six jobs for Tover O'Brien, Greg Grover could say, come on over, Tover, to Nova. Till October, you could use the exposure. That's really good, actually.

I could write that in Nova. For those that don't know, Hayley's fiancé is Greg Grover from Nova, from the TV ads. I don't know how I feel about Greg Grover telling Nova to come on over and roll over. Come on, Tover, roll over. That is today's Top 6. It's been a bit of a theme in the last couple of days,

hasn't it? Job satisfaction, getting what you need out of your job and feeling happy in your job. We've been talking about the great resignation, people wanting more from life. Yeah. But if leaving your job is not what you want, here's an easy tip from a study that's just been done

on how to have more satisfaction in your workday is to have more satisfaction in the bedroom at home. Boom, that's it. That's the study. Good sleep. Sexy times. Sexy times. Sexy times.

So those people go to work happier. They go to work happier and they are more productive in their day. And it's because... Or do they know what's coming when they get home? So they're like, quick, work. Yeah, yeah. Get it done as soon as possible. Get it done.

Until it's through the roof. Well, no, the study that they did, they used 200 married couples over the course of a number of weeks and they filled out surveys every single day. And it was actually, it was the next day that their productivity was higher, their happiness was higher, their mood was boosted. And they literally had, even though we joke about it,

a spring in their step the next day. Oh, okay. Which led them to be just feeling much better because they have a better mood overall because they've got more marital satisfaction at home. You know when you come to home and you come to work and you've had a fight the night before. It's not a very positive way to start the day.

Is that why you were grumpy at work this morning? No. Just no sleep? It's grumpy because my brakes are squeaky. Is that a metaphor or are your brakes squeaky? No, my car brakes are squeaky. What's it? Are you going to stone in them?

No, I think it's because they get moist. And so as I back out of my very long driveway at 4.30 in the morning, they're going. That's not a good thing, is it? What does that mean? Squeaky brakes. Squeaky brakes. Should you get those looked at?

Yeah, it's on the list. One day. Of course, after some hanky-panky, you have a bit of sleep, a deeper sleep, deeper sleep, more sleep More energy the next day Hayley, what about people who aren't In a couple? Could they

Take care of business themselves? Would it give the same outcome? Or is there also a little bit of added something Because of the personal connection with another human? This study looked at married couples And half of it is about the physical side effects of things, your dopamines and your mood and your marital satisfaction. But, I mean, some of it's around the physical stuff,

which is just, I guess, you can do that on your own. Yeah, you can do that. Sometimes better on your own. Yeah, so if they're just going to watch the last half of that Grey's Anatomy episode, you'll probably get it done then. Get it done nice and quickly as well if your focus is on getting a good night's own. Yeah. So if they're just going to watch the last half of that Grey's Anatomy episode, you'll probably get it done then. Get it done nice and quickly as well if your focus is on getting a good night's sleep. Yeah. You don't want to be stuffing around with moves and the like.

So anyway, there you go. Moves and the like. It's just a little reminder. Moves and a bit of sexy chat beforehand. Oh, you're going to be bothered. You don't have to do that. So there you go. Just make time for it, they say.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Zed and Titsack. Sarah joins us. Good morning, Sarah. Good morning. How full is the tank? The petrol tank. Oh, like half.

And how full is your enthusiasm tank, Sarah? It feels like that could do with a top-up too. Well, it's early. I know it's early. It's early. Yeah. Well, Sarah, let's see if we can fill up that tank and some more. You can say stop at any stage.

Our fuel pump will counter. You can say stop and lock in that amount, but if it buzzes and cuts off, you miss out on all that fuel. You lose it all. You lose it all. All right, let's go. Let's go.

I just said that. Double let's go. $10. $45. $85. $105. $105. $145. Oh!

That's not it. Was it the buzz? That was the buzz. That was the buzz. Sarah. Oh, no. Sarah, how high did you want to go? I was like, probably going to give it one more.

Oh. I heard $145 and I was like, I'm out. I was so, oh my gosh. No, but everything, it can go up to $200 or $300. Oh. Or it can go at $80. Like, you just don't know, but. Or like you, you could get $0.

Yeah, that's okay. All right, well, Sarah, another chance to play at 8 o'clock with ZMD Tank. Listen now for the activator. Big trucks can be automatic. Apparently the old automatics, they changed too early or too late and it was a bit more of an art to get up through the gears or down through the gears. But apparently the newer automatics are a bit more reliable.

I want that. I want that. I'd love that job. Would you? What brand? What brand of truck would you drive? I'd do a Scania. Because they look cool.

Very European. I don't know any truck brands. I'd go past them all the time. Kenworth? I'd go Kenworth or Matt. Just because they were the big ones with the pointy noses. I like the pointy noses. And I'd paint on the back of my truck like a motivational quote.

Same. And you're passing another Fox. Live, laugh, laugh. But then you'd have to work for Fox. No, I don't care. You're passing another Fletch. That's good. We're doing the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, love. But then you'd have to work for Fox. No, I don't care. You're passing another fletch. That's good, but do it the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Truckies. And I'd have to eat pies, wouldn't I? Yeah. Pies and V. I'd have Vaughan Freight, but it would be in Main Freight's font. And I'd let them take me to court about it. I'd say, I'll see you there, Main Freight. Well, we're here if the truckies need us.

Ready to go. We could totally do a... We could finish here and we could go to an afternoon run. I don't know what gets dropped off in the afternoon. Most truck driving happens in the morning. You know where I'd come amiss is when I had to back into the countdown. Oh, and they do the big twisty. Yeah, I couldn't do that.

I can back a trailer. I couldn't do that. I can back a trailer. So I'm out. I'm out. You just do the little run. You do the little run with the curtain side up. You don't need a trailer.

Okay, I'll do that. I just need a park you can just drive into. And then drive straight out. Just go and drive'm out. You just do the little run. You do the little run with a curtain cider. You don't need a trailer. Okay, I'll do that. I just need a park you can just drive into. And then drive straight out. Straight and drive straight out. You want to be a courier then, I think. You want a van. I want a van. You want a van, you want to be a courier.

We could start a company. We could take care of the whole thing. Deliveries. We do deliveries. Big guys, trailers, curtain ciders. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. trailers, curtain-siders. While yesterday, I was asked by a friend to circumvent

a paywall. Wow. Oh my God. Not the company's paywall. The company's paywall. The New Zealand Herald. Oh. Was it the old

can you screen cap an article for me? Yes. I've done that. Because we get the Herald premium because they just give it old, can you screen cap an article for me? Yes. I've done that. Because we get the Herald premium because they just give it to us so we can, you know, talk about the stories. Yeah, so if we're talking about work perks, I mean. Absolute privilege. I mean, absolute privilege to be behind the paywall.

Do I have it? Yes, I do. And I've had this a couple of times. Like, oh, can you screenshot this article, send it through, or copy and paste the text, email it through. I see people on Reddit do this quite a bit. Like, someone's like, I really want you screenshot this article, send it through, or copy and paste the text, email it through. I see people on Reddit do this quite a bit. Like someone's like, I really want to read this paywall story. Who got it?

For whatever news site. Who's got it? Screenshot it. Can you get in trouble for that? I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I'd say so. Would you download a handbag?

This is sort of like. Why would you screen cap a car? This is like NFTs though, isn't it? When people spend all this money on NFTs and you're like, well, I can just screenshot it and I've got it too. Yeah, but they've got the original. But who cares?

What's different? I know, there really isn't a difference. How am I for that bubble to pop? Yeah, I know. It's going to really hurt for some people. But I mean, I don't know how much the paywall is. There's simply some great offers available at the nzherald.co.nz. Some great value for money.

From $1.99 per week, asterisk. Less than the price of a cup of coffee. Yeah. Oh, exactly. Yeah. There you go. So did you give it freely? I did.

Yeah, I did. Or did you feel a bit like, go on, Sting. When I've been asked to do that, it's like the longest article in history. You're like, screen cap, scroll, screen cap, scroll. And you're trying to find the cutoff point from the last one. So there's not a lap over. Then there's a bloody ad in the middle.

You've got to scroll past that screen cap again, and then you've got to send a nine-part bloody WhatsApp message. But it got me thinking, do you have a way to avoid paying for something? I mean, we may be dancing a fine line here between theft. We don't want to be encouraging any kind of activity like this, but maybe you've got a way to avoid paying.

I was a little bit of a thief at different stages of my life. When I was a kid, I used to steal all the time. Did you? Why? I don't know what it was. I used to just steal from people's bags for the thrill of it. Oh not from a store you were stealing from people's bags. I never stole from a store. I've never stolen from a store. What did you steal out of people's bags? Like little toys, key rings, cool pens they had. It's people like you I'm warning my daughters about like when they were like we want to take this thing to school to show

our friends it's like well it could get pinched. It was a bit weird and then I used to come home with like a new beanie baby or something my parents be like where'd you find that i'd be like oh in the play i was in the playground but i was like six years old so i would have been a terrible liar i remember i remember getting so nervous sort of a rogue of sorts and then later in life when i was at university i used to steal uh toilet rolls like like toilet paper rolls, from public toilets. How do you get them off? Yeah, once I got one of those big wheels. Oh, they don't fit on your roll.

Yeah, they don't fit on the roll, but you just used to put it on the sink in front of you. That was like a year's worth. I feel like that stuff's got a sandpaper rating. The very low sandpaper rating. Oh, definitely, it's exfoliating, to say the least. I reckon it's a 40 grit. 100% has to be. Absolute ruffus guts.

Is there a way that you avoid paying for something? Shout out to my parents who are leeching off of my neon and my Netflix. They avoid paying for that. You're paying them back though. That's how I feel about my parents. That's why I'm happy to pay for my parents but Sade's dad drives me nuts because he didn't raise me.

Yeah, you leech. Yeah. He didn't pay for my schooling. Granted, he probably did because he paid tax and I went to a public school. Or maybe you sort of hoard your sauce sachets and your salt and pepper sachets. So you don't have to pay for salt or pepper.

Yeah, your little hotel room peanut butters and the likes and pepper sachets. So you don't have to pay for salt or pepper. Yeah, your little hotel room peanut butters and the likes. What about the person we used to work with who would volunteer to fill up the company car but go and park his car at the petrol station and go in and fill up the company car and then put the pump on the ground

which is wildly dangerous, drive the company car to a park, bring his car in, keep filling it up on a park, bring his car in, keep filling it up on the same ticket and then go in and pay with the fuel card. And why wouldn't they be suspicious when there was a $300 tank of gas? Because it was a Dodge Ram. Okay.

And that thing could easily take a tank of gas. Wild, eh? That's wild. And he saw no problem with that. I mean, that's outright theft. Yeah, totally. But he was filling it up, so he was doing the company a favour,

so they should be doing him a favour. Talking about the things that you do to avoid paying, I had to screenshot a paywall article for a friend yesterday. Got me thinking. It's very cheeky. It is. Less than $2 a week they could have access to all articles. Do you want to share your retail?

When you worked in retail you just shared this with us. Oh, hang on. Yeah, I won't get in trouble. Sorry to my old boss. Statute of limitations. My old boss Dave. Yeah, this is like 10 years ago, but I used to work in a designer clothing. Oh my god maybe I'll get in trouble.

I used to work in a designer clothing store and when I was working there I was dating there, I was dating. Like I was going out on dates with men. And I used to take something off the rack that was like really cool and new. And I'd wear it to the day. And then on the Monday, I'd just steam it and put it back on the rack. Steam.

Bit of a steam. I'm telling you, like this was a swish clothing store I worked in. How much were these like like, items worth? Like $300 to $400. Right. More than a student could ever afford. Yeah, and I hate to say it, but I did, I was prone to a little ciggy. Oh, my.

Back in the day. I was prone to a little ciggy. And I'd just give it a wee Febreze and a bit of a stame. Did you say Mal of Smoke? Yeah, yeah. a wee Febreze and a bit of a stink. Did you say mail of smoke? Yeah, yeah. Or the Febreze. This was 10 years ago, back in the ciggy days. And did you ever spill any, like if you were on a date,

did you ever spill any wine or food? No, I never had a bad incident. Right. Or I wouldn't have put it back on the rack. Well, that's why I'm never going to work again again um anonymous uh what was your way to save money it was me yeah hi sorry hey i'm sorry back in 2020 in the heat of the pandemic um i learned on tiktok that there's this website called sci dash hub and it lets you access academic journals, like literature and stuff that are usually stuck behind a paywall and it helps me significantly through my degree.

Wow, that's a hot tip. Oh, okay. What's the website? So it's, well, it changes. It's at sci.hub-randomlittleletters. It's like a Russian-run website. Oh, so it's very similar to like Pirate Bay. Yeah, Pirate Bay's always changing the...

But for academic... But for academic papers, not the, you know, movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just kind of Google Psy-Hub, and then like it's usually the second link down, and then you just put in the DOI number, which is like just the number that's usually at the end of the whole URL that would be a part of this piece of literature.

Wow. And then you get out of paying for those textbooks. Fletch has typed in hub on his computer, but there's so many options before psi. So many hubs before psi. Anonymous, thanks. You're called Jared. What was your way to avoid paying?

Hey, guys, how you doing? Good, mate, good. Good, good. So my one's slightly more dangerous, you see. When you're parked at a car park and you don't want to pay for it, you just follow real close behind the person in front of you. I reckon you followed me. Yeah, it thinks you're a trailer.

So you've got to have a bit of balls. You've got to get nice and close to them. But it only works on certain car parks. The hospital, easy. Oh, well, let's not name places. See, I think the hospital car park should be next to nothing or free. Oh, 100%. I agree.

No one's ever going for a laugh to the hospital, and then you get in your car, and it's like $28. You're like, what? Yeah. Well, they charge you. They charge you a fortune and then they take forever. So you're there nine hours and you don't get to see anyone.

And then so you end up sitting there at the car park waiting by the gate until someone comes past and you just step in like a trailer and sneak out easy. That is absolute balls. Have you ever had anyone

who you were sort of riding on the coattails of stop or say something to you? Nah. Because I've had someone do it to me before, and I was like, the cheek. But what about, like, aren't you worried because they've got security cameras?

Oh, nah. Nah, they're not watching that stuff, let's be honest. Not only have you damaged the arm, they'd probably look in to see who damaged the arm, but if you can get through, easy peasy. That's almost happened once before. Don't try it at the plaza in Palmerston North. That arm. Don't turn him down.

The guy's giving out warnings. You got balls of steel, mate. Good for you. Jared thinks you're cool. Some texts in. Somebody said, furthermore to you borrowing dresses from where you worked, they bought on AliExpress one of those little guns that reconnects plastic cords. You know when you buy some of the plastic tags?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody bought one of those so they can take the dress, clip the tag off, wear the dress, clean it, like steam it or something. I'm guessing they'd know if it had been washed. You'd have to have the same exact... You could dry clean if you were prepared, but often dry cleaning is quite expensive anyway.

And then take it back, and then reconnect the original price tag and take it back. You need the exact plastic thing though. Yeah, and every brand is different. A lot of them have the string ones, and then like click in, and you can't, once you undo them, they don't go back up. Get them in. For this very reason. Yeah. Somebody

else said, I'll always, when I'm at a when I'm at a cafe, grab a couple of extra artificial sweeteners for the purse. Yep. Because some people, some people put in, you know, they might put in two sweeteners. Yeah, but does your mum, my mum's got a little dispenser. Does your mum, does Patsy do artificial sweetener?

No, no, no, no, no. Oh. No, no, no. But she did no sweetener. No, she, no, no, no. Oh. No, no, no. But she did no sweetener. No, she does pure raw cane sugar. I don't know. Sourced from the finest flatlands of Fiji. Yeah, okay.

She'll regularly go into the fields to make sure they're still. Right, pure. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely pure. You're saying your mum doesn't have a. Artificial sweetener spencer. No, she's not into the artificial.

Oh, right, okay. Gives you the squits, you know. I just thought it was a mum thing. Yeah, mums always have an equal. Yeah. A thing of equal tabs. Or super all. Life's too short for artificial sweetness.

I couldn't agree more. Now, in case you've been living under a rock, a wordle, it's everywhere. I didn't know about it. I am a rock liver, but you guys told me about Wordle. It's a very simple game. I saw the green and yellow and grey squares popping up on Twitter over summer holidays,

and I was like, what's this? But I didn't have time to get involved. Yes. I handle all the time in the world. But now, now you're absolutely hopped on Wordle. So it's a really quick, easy game. You get to play once a day. You play once a day, so you can't binge it.

You just play it once and you're done. You try to guess one word. You get six attempts to get the word. And basically you put in your first go. Like you try, it's a five-letter word. I always start with steam. Steam. You like a Jew to start.

Lots of vowels. And then it tells you if you've got a letter right in the wrong place and a letter right in the right place. And then eventually you work out how to do it. Kind of a cross between Wheel of Fortune and a crossword, right? Exactly. Would that be a good? No, Mastermind was the old numbers,

it was the old colours game that was like that. Right, there you go. But it's so popular. Like it's been, remember, our government's been tweeting about it. There's now a bot that every day threatens to ruin the word for you anyway. Celebrities are playing it.

And a professor from the University of Utah called Tai Nguyen has tried to decipher why we are so addicted to Wordle. And it comes down to three very simple things. One, and this is how it got you hooked, Vaughan, it's very easy to share. So you can share your results without ruining the game for everyone else. Yes, that's kind of the cool thing about it.

That's what I'm finding is that friends who get it in one or two, three guesses are like, oh, look, got it in two guesses today. They share it and they show you their squares and their process, but it doesn't give you the letters and ruin it, like I ruined it on the day that I found out about it last week and everyone got very mad at me. So that's one of the things is like, it's like anything we do these days. If you can't tweet or gram about it, it doesn't matter.

So this is very tweetable, very shareable. The other thing is it is so simple. There's nothing much to it. It's a very simple game and the brain is wired to, when we achieve simple tasks, give us a little dopamine hit. Yeah. So we're literally, it's like a little drug for our brain. Right.

A little way to achieve something every day and make us feel, because I mean, just before you got your word and you felt so elated with yourself. Oh, well, yeah, because I started getting nervous because I had two words down and I just didn't know. Does that mean if you don't get the word of the day that you'll have a bad start to the day? Slip into a deep, dark depression.

I don't know. I haven't got one wrong yet. I've only missed the day. I missed Saturday. Too busy on Saturday for a word. I've only missed the day. I missed Saturday. Too busy on Saturday. Too busy. And then forgot. And of course, the other great thing that is making it so addictive

and why people keep coming back is it is a web browser-based game. So it's not an app and there are no ads. Right. Which honestly, on their behalf, stupid. Because it's gone so popular. But a refreshing change from all the other free apps. Right. Which honestly, on their behalf, stupid. Because it's gone so popular. But a refreshing change from all the other free ads. Exactly.

I mean, how many times we wait for 30-second ads or we're waiting to skip ads in order to play the games that we like to play. This, no ads. You pop on, it's simple, gives you a little hit of dopamine, you leave. And then you can brag about it. And then you can brag about it. Which is what people love. Those are the key elements of life. Play.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. 7 out of 10 people, this is what I was talking about before, it's good news if you cook for your partner, if you're a dab hand in the kitchen. Yeah. 7 out of 10 people believe cooking for their partner is more intimate than making love. You're doing it wrong.

The cooking or the love making? Both. Cooking for your partner. So not cooking together. You're doing it wrong. The cooking or the lovemaking? Both. Yeah. Cooking for your partner. So not cooking together. Not hands around the waist making bread. Have you ever... I've done this a couple of times lately

and there is something quite nice. Like if Sade's making dinner, I'll sit at the breakfast bar. Breakfast bar, that's what it's called. And like talk to her as she does it. Yeah. That's nice.

I always say to Aaron, come hang out with me. Yeah. And I'm the same if I'm like barbecuing something. I like it when Sade comes out and we'll just stand there and talk while it's happening.

Right. It also makes you feel like less like you're serving. Yes. Like you're serving them something. Yeah, because if they're like in the lounge and you have to like

yell to them. And then watching TV. Yeah, watching the chase. While you're slaving. While you're slaving over a hot stove. Yelling the answers at the TV and constantly telling you how good that'd be if they got their chance on the chase.

I had an absolute run on the chase last night. Oh, did you? You were doing quite well. I would have done so well. But did you watch the whole show or just the last? No, I always do the last. I only do the last five minutes. You don't deserve to be in the last five minutes

unless you've done the cash builder. I don't even know how the rest of the game works. I only ever do the last five minutes. Right. You're insane. You're not invested enough. Well, you'd drive a partner crazy if you had it. But if you had,

that's why I said if you had a mirror in your kitchen, you could talk to yourself or see yourself in there I've done this for me Yeah, I don't know if that would work the same So this survey says that Obviously you're more likely to go on a date with someone That you know can cook And in addition to being kind and having a good sense of humour

Cooking is one of the most attractive traits Well it's just been able to provide, right? It's been able to... Oh, it's very sexy for someone to cook a meal. Yeah, but takeaways. But not more so, more intimate. Than actual sexy times. Yeah.

I wouldn't say that. How can it be more intimate? What are you doing with the food? Sometimes I'm doing eggs on toast. I reckon Aaron would prefer hopping into bed than having... Skip dinner and stretch a dessert. having an over-fried egg. Yeah. Are you still frying eggs?

No, but when I'm really lazy. You're frying eggs. I'm a scramble girl. I'd always scramble. I'd always scramble. Sometimes you poach, but I always feel like you're not getting as much egg when you poach. And if you over-poach, it's so easy to over-poach. How easy is it to over-poach?

We had this at the cafe the other day. Aaron got poached. I got scrambled. I reckon I got about five eggs in my scramble. Yes. Yeah, and then you get two poached. And he had two sloppy poaches. Yeah, yeah.

Never poached. Looked small. The days of the poach are over. Are you calling it? I'm calling it. You're calling an end to the poach? Hear me now. The poached has gone.

See, I'd rather have a poached than a fried. Scrambled, poached, fried. See, I think fried hasn't evolved enough from the 80s and 90s. Scrambles have evolved now. A scramble when I was young was always a little stodgy and hard, but now there's... Now you do the ribbons. Yes.

And you can get some chives. You can get some chives and some parsley. But a chase. But a chase. You can get a chives. You can get some chives and some parsley. But a chase. But a chase. You can get a herb scramble. And poached was always overcooked and done to death when I was growing up. But now it's like a perfectly, what do they call that? Souvéed poached egg.

Right, yeah. But I feel like the fried hasn't evolved. If the fried could evolve, I believe the fried egg could make a comeback. I don't know if it can evolve. I know, but how? That's what I'm saying. We're brainstorming here. Don't give up on the fried egg could make a comeback. I don't know if it can evolve. I know, but how? That's what I'm saying. We're brainstorming here. Don't give up on the fried egg because we could be sitting on the next million dollar idea here.

Unless you do like the, is it like Chinese style fried egg with the super hot oil and it creates the clouds around the outside? Have you seen that? No. So if you fry an egg in like a wok with like really, really hot oil. How deep's the oil? Is it more of a deep? Are we almost bouncing on a deep fried egg? No, but more than you would for like, you know, a normal fried egg.

You get it super, super piping hot. You crack the egg into it. It goes. Immediately. And the white turns into this like crispy cloud. Oh, yeah. And you have to get one out with one of those ladles with all the holes in the bottom.

You've got to ladle it out. Oh. Yeah. I wish I'd had eggs instead of porridge. What would I call this? A Chinese fried egg? Yeah, wok fried egg. You can Google that in your own time.

Yeah. But anyway, I disagree with the study that you've brought up. Hong Kong style fried eggs. Okay. Crispy fried egg. Crispy fried egg. Crispy fried egg. Kai dao.

Kai dao. Right. If you want to Google it, Kai as in we'd say, you know, the Maori word, Kai. K-A-I-D-A-O. Kai dao.

Yeah, a bit of chilli oil on top of it. Oh, yeah. It's keeping the yolk running. Is it right if I put a side on? A bit of kimchi? Ooh! Wait, I'm going to, this is now, I'm going to walk out on a limb here and not everybody's going to come with me.

Some bean sprouts. Yeah, I'm in. You're in, you're out, I've lost you. I've lost you. Kimchi, bean sprouts. Greenery. I'm not a bok choy guy. I feel like if we're going down the Asian route, we could have chucked some in. Greenery. I'm not a bok choy guy. I feel like if we're going down the Asian route, we could have chucked some bok choy, but I'm not a bok choy guy.

Maybe what about scattering a spring onion? Of course. Of course. Of course, I'm always welcoming a spring onion onto any dish. Any form of onion. Any time of the day. Anything.

Anyway, get in the kitchen and out of the bedroom. Look how horned up we all got there. Well, yesterday post, I actually had scrambled eggs for lunch, in fact. I had a little veggie egg scramble. Not the eggs again. Yeah, I'm back to eggs. We moved from eggs. No, we just had an extensive egg conversation. I know, but I just wanted to bring back that the scramble is the superior. I feel like we went hard on the fry, and I just wanted to bring back that the scramble is the superior.

I feel like we went hard on the fry and I just wanted to bring back that the scramble's the superior. Well, boiled's been, apparently we turned a blind eye to boiled completely. But I was talking about part of it as a breakfast plate. You wouldn't put boiled. No, no, no. Unless you were having like Marmite soldiers. In which case you're a child and you need to grow up.

That's a meal. That's a different meal altogether. Anyway, so I had my eggs for lunch, and then as the afternoon ticked on, I was feeling peckish. Okay. And I remembered that on a whim, on a whim when I was doing my grocery shopping on Monday, I grabbed a box of something I have not grabbed for a very, very long time, something my parents used to make us

when they honestly probably didn't love us enough to put in more effort. It was a humble box of Kruskits. Wow. Very dry, crispy bread. Cracker. Kruskit.

What is it? I was just literally typing, how are Kruskits made? I'm on the Arnott's website, Arnott's Krusket. Of course, they've got the rye, they've got the corn, they've got the oregano, which I had original, of course. Right. Wheat flour, rye flour, wheat starch, clarified butter, sugar, milk, solid salt, and an antioxidant.

Delicious. And then what do they eat? Delicious. Fry it. Because it's got a fried feel. It must be fried. Or air fried. Yeah, it's so crispy.

I don't know the process. You keep looking that up for me as I dive in. So I got a little plate out and I learnt that two Kruskits is a serve. And I was like, no, no, no. Four Kruskits is a serve, thank you. And I put four Kruskits is a serve. And I was like, no, no, no. Four Kruskits is a serve, thank you. And I put four Kruskies on my plate. Yeah.

Then I got out a little bit of my Lewis Road Creamery Butter. Yeah. Nuked that for five seconds just to soften her a bit. A thin layer of butter. Yeah. Then I got out, and don't come at me for this, Vegemite. Oh, I was going to say Marmite. No, I'm a Vegemite guy.

You have to do Marmite. I'm on your team. Thank you. No. No, team veg. As a kid, it was Marmite because I didn't Oh, I was going to say Marmite. No, I'm a Vegemite guy. You have to do Marmite. I'm on your team. Thank you. No. No, team veg. As a kid, it was Marmite because I didn't know that I was wrong. But now it's Vegemite because I've learned. She's experienced and she's wise.

Right. A little smothering of Vegemite and I sat down in front of the telly and honestly, I cannot wait for the show to be over so I can get home and have a Kruski. Have a Kruskit. I think the last time I actually had a Kruskit was when I was a teenager. Look at the way you've got to get back into it now. No, it's so good. I mean, you can go ham.

You could have like avocado, tomato slices, cracked pepper and salt on top. Here they've got salmon, cucumber and capers and cream cheese. Oh, cut it out. This isn't an ad for Kruskits, by the way. No, it's not a spawn. Oh, no, but I'm just... But there is literally no nutritional value in a Krusty's. No, nothing.

Nothing. Yeah, yeah. It's just carbs and nothing. Yeah, but if cardboard tasted this good, I'd eat it. Well, it is. This is tasty cardboard. Yeah. People wouldn't be recycling their boxes, would they?

They'd be eating them. No, they'd be eating them. I feel like we need to go back. We're getting too fancy with our foods. Crustkits should come in a box that's edible. It should be a box of crustkits. Crustkits come in a box made of crustkits. Think of the environment. Yeah.

Oh, but then people would be like touching them. But they'd get dirty in the supermarket. What we were talking about the other day, crumpets. I was like, I want to go back in time and eat the more simpler foods that have no nutritional value. What about a salata? Salata. I was never a salata.

No, we never had salatas. We weren't allowed salatas. But they were meal size, snack size, bite size. We were a. Versatile. Yeah, I remember it. Because your salatas are your quads that you can crack into. Oh, yeah, we had those.

Halfs or the square or just single. You're not too young for salatas. Too poor for saladas. Don't poverty shame him. No, we had saladas, but I don't think we ever ate them. No, we never had saladas. They were mum's thing. We were 100% cruscuts.

That was the only crackery bread we had in the house. The worst thing about a crusket is when one ignorant member of the family doesn't close the box and then you have to have a stale crusket and you'll never get through it. Okay, I see stale crusket and I raise you the worst part about crusket is when the first bite causes a horizontal split right down the crusket and then it's just a clam bar to try to like, ah, ah, my crusket. And you can't eat it quickly because it's so dry and so hard.

And then you've got to eat it by slowly like using gravity and one of your fingers at the back to just slowly convey about it into your mouth one bite at a time. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. I don't know what I'm going to put on my cruskets today. Probably Vegemite. What did you put on there yesterday?

Vegemite and butter. That was all. That was it. Get a fat What did you put on there yesterday? Vegemite and butter. That was all. That was it. Get a fat bit of cream cheese on there. What are you, like 10? Grow up. No, I'm not. Avocado, cream cheese and some chilli flakes.

What about a bit of cured salmon? Yeah. No, I'm going Vegemite. Keep your cruscuts basic. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's Zit Sack. Keep your cruscuts basic. Good morning, Jamie. Good morning. All right, so we've got some free fuel up for Graves now.

And 7 o'clock, I don't know if you heard, but they were hanging out for a high fuel amount and they got cut off. Got cut off at 145. It could go high. Yeah, I mean, it could go low, but it could go high. How bad do you want it? How brave are you feeling this morning? Oh, I don't know.

We'll have to see. All right, well, you can say stop at any stage and lock in the fuel amount. If you're buzzed and the fuel pump cuts off, you lose out. Let's go. $5. $35. $65. $80.

$100. $135. $135. $145. $145. So you went for the same cutoff that went this morning at 7. I think that's smart. I was going in my head, stop, stop. $145 is locked in, Jamie.

Let's see how high it would have gone. $170. $195. $200. $225. $265. That's a big boy. Now you've done alright You've done alright Jamie

Congratulations $145 Yes I'd forgotten You did forget Because you can't believe I heard all the other numbers And I got confused Hey $145 is not bad

That's a tank It is Well done Jamie And another chance for you to play And win tomorrow. We'll do it every morning this week at 7 o'clock and 8. Z empty tank. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Here's a beautiful story to warm the cockles of your soul. There is a Kiwi mother and daughter duo that have spent their lives jumping between living in America and living in New Zealand, on Waiheke Island, in fact. Oh, okay. Yeah, they've jumped around between. Now, the mother, very sadly, has very progressive cancer and is in the last sort of years of her life. And she wanted to make sure that her daughter was left behind in good hands.

Right. And wanted to find her the man of her dreams, her daughter. So she first started off with setting her daughter up with your classic dating profile on your Bumbles, your Tinders. Right. And when that didn't work. Wait, so she assumed her daughter's identity? No, no, no, together.

Oh, she said, let's get on. Let's do this, come on. Let's get you, let's find you a man. So they did that and then, you know, nothing much came of it. So then the mother went a bit of a step further, hired a giant billboard in the middle of the one and only Times Square in New York City and put her daughter's

photo up on it. How much would that have cost? There's heaps of billboards there. Yeah, but it's like the premium advertising space. Yeah. So it's on an app called Wingman app and her mum is her wingman and then she's hired this thing out,

put a beautiful photo of her saying, date my daughter. And apparently it has had so much response from potential suitors and like CNN, NBC, New York Post, inquiries from men in Italy

and Russia saying, Oh, could get yourself an Italian husband. Live in the Italian countryside. I've got one. Everyone should get one. Yeah, so, yeah, she went. I mean, there's no conclusion on it yet,

whether or not she's actually found the man of her dreams. But that's a big gesture on mum's behalf. Would you let your mum do this? If your mum was like, I'm going to put a billboard in Times Square to find your husband. I wouldn't because I know it seems like the mum is like, I want the best for you. For my mum, she's like,

give me a grandchild. So it's for her. If it was up to your mum, what sort of man would you be seeing? Like describe what Patsy Sproul would line you up with. Oh gosh. I don't know.

I never really brought boys home. I had one first boyfriend. Snuck them in and out the bloody back door. Absolutely. I did it in and out the window. Shush, shush, shush. Hey, hey, hey. I had one boyfriend when I was a teenager

that my parents got on with very well. He was a lovely Christian boy. Yeah. And then there's Aaron, who's a lovely raised Catholic man. He's a big lad. Big boy. He's a big boy. Yeah. And then there's Aaron, who's a lovely, raised Catholic man. He's a big lad. Big boy. Yeah, my parents love Aaron, but I don't know what they would

dream for me. If you were still single, what they'd have lined up for you? Yeah. Your mum would just find someone like your dad. Probably like rich, fertile hottie. Yeah. When you said fertile, I thought you said fur, as in like animal hair. Rich, furry hottie. Fertile. Yeah. When you said fertile, I thought you said fur as in like animal hair. Rich, furry, hottie.

Fur-tile. Oh, he's got those fur tiles in his bathroom. He's doing well for himself. There's no lie that Patsy Ann Sproul wants a grandchild. And me and my brother are both like, no, we're too selfish. We're your babies. But my life. Yeah, but if there's a grandchild It'll get our spoils

Yeah exactly I don't know that Patsy Would be Oh no hang on She's messaged me What is she looking for Are you telling Patsy Because she'll be messaging

Right what you Oh no she's just sent me A listing for a house In Dargaville Don't worry about it That's what she wants me Mum I'm not looking to invest She wants you

In Dargaville She wants to get you To Dargaville boy Exactly Oh no she doesn't want me To get Dargaville boy My parents are from My mum's from Dargaville. She wants to get you to Dargaville, boy. Oh, no, she doesn't want me to get Dargaville, boy. My parents are from, my mum's from Dargaville. Oh, she wants you to avoid the Dargaville. Yeah, she's like, no, no, no.

Probably related to them. Anyway, but my mum wouldn't, I don't know if she'd be a great wingman, but this mum in this article sounds like a lovely wingman. She's gone to great lengths. And we wanted to know if your parents ever tried to be your wingman. Get involved, hit the town.

I know there's some cultures where parents are heavily involved in this sort of thing, right? Yeah, 100%. But my parents were always pretty standoff. They never got involved. Did you ever have a partner, either of you guys, that your parents were like they're bad news? Nah. Nah. Neither. Nah.

I choose them well. But I hear that a lot. If you're single and you've got friends or family that are like, you will absolutely love this person. That is a huge, like, red flag. Like, that's immediately like, this is not working. And it's insulting because when they go like, I have the person for you. Yeah.

And then you send them on a date and they're like, this is what you think of me? Yeah. Yeah. You think that we would get on? So, yeah, we want to know from you, lovely listeners, has your parent, your mother or your father, ever acted as your wingman? Yeah, well, whenever your parents try to set you up

with someone. Successfully or unsuccessfully. Yeah, we want to hear the good and the bad stories. Maybe they absolutely nailed the right type of guy or gal for you. And you're like, okay, they've done well. Or maybe they've just got a string of like, you're like, mum, like, what's going on? What do you think of me?

My mum just said, your father but taller. My dad's a little bit petite. He's not petite. He's a petite man. He's shorter than me and shorter than my mum. Is he? Yeah. I did not know this about Craig.

All right. Well, 0800DARLS at M. Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. When have your parents tried to set you up with someone? Did it go horribly wrong or was it an amazing success? Maybe you're married to this day. Oh, that'd be nice.

We've asked you if your parents have ever acted as your wingman or set you up on a successful or unsuccessful date. After a Kiwi mum placed a billboard in the middle of Times Square saying, date my daughter, with a picture of her daughter looking to find her dream man? I mean, yeah, look, I would have been like, no, absolutely not. How dare you? There's no way I could have gone through with that.

Especially something that grand. Like maybe a billboard in Palmerston North would have been a sort of a smaller scale. But then you're only going to get guys from Palmerston North. No offence. Huge offence. Huge offence. No offence. Huge offence taken.

Huge offence. No offence. Immense offence given. Immense, yeah. But the daughter was okay with it, wasn't she? The daughter was on board. She was fine. She was okay.

They're very close, these two. So we asked you, has this ever happened to you? Have your parents ever tried to set you up? Gemma, who tried to set you up? My uncle tried to set me up. Well, he tried and successfully succeeded. Oh. Yeah, my husband and I have been married now for eight,

just coming up eight, together eight years, married five. Tell us how this went down with old Uncle Barry. That could be his name for today. I think it's Uncle John. It's an Uncle John. All close. Uncle Jim. Jim.

No, starts with an R. Roger. Ron. Yeah, Uncle Rog. Uncle Rog. I went Uncle Rog. They're always a good uncle, Uncle Rog. Okay. All right. One went Uncle Rog. They're always a good uncle, Uncle Rog. Okay.

All right. One and only successful matchmaking. So my husband worked for the family business for like, I don't know, 15 years or something. But I'd never met him because I was living in Aussie. My uncle just saw two lonely hearts, literally sent me his number, Gavin's number one day. And then I was coming home from Sydney in a couple of weeks. I was like, oh, well, what have I got to lose? I messaged him.

And then we met up. And then, yeah, the rest is history. Like, we started seeing each other and, well, seeing each other slash every month because I was still living in Sydney. So we did long distance for about seven months. And then I moved home straight off a plane into his house. And here we are. Straight off a plane and into the bed.

And Uncle Rog's new. Did Uncle Rog ever elaborate? Did he see some common interests? Yeah, just common interests and just two people that were lonely hearts. Pining hearts. So business and two kids later and still happy as. Oh, that is a lovely story. Terry, who set you up?

Oh, hi. Yeah, that was actually my wife's mom at the time. So we were 16 and I came over to their place and we're sitting outside at the table and I asked Lisa, my wife-to-be, if she would like to come over to our house and play some pool. And she kind of had a bit of an attitude and I could see she was going to say no. And her mom kicked her under the table and said, of course she would.

So you're successfully still together? Yes. This was when we were both 16 and we're in South Africa and we're now in New Zealand and we're both 46. Oh, 30 years, congratulate. My parents at 16 were swatting away the boys like flies from me. No, get away from my daughter. Oh, really? Whereas it's just a little kick under the table and the rest is history.

Terry thinks he calls the messages in. My mum tried to match me with the guy singing and playing ukulele on the tour bus on her way out of Mexico because she said he was a beautiful singer and what more would you hope for? What more could you hope for? Was mum going to get him a visa? You'd be lucky to get someone that can sing. Look at you. That's all you can hope for.

At the pub, mum was quite boozed. And I was sober and she was pointing me out to everybody. The next day I had messages from a couple of these people that she had given my number to. Shock, mum. Mum? My mum tried to set me up with the Argentinian shirtless waiter Franco at my sister-in-law's hen party.

Let's see. Franco. Franco. Franco. Franco. Franco. And then he turns out to a date with his shirt on. You're like, uh, what? Take it off.

Get it off, Franco. What happened there? No, no further, no further. Oh, we're going to need to know what happened there. No story closure there, Your Honour. Anonymous. Who tried to set you up?

Anonymous. Is this me? That's you. This is the problem with Anonymous is it could be anybody. We don't want to say your name. It defeats the purpose. My mum tried to set me up with a prisoner.

What? So what mum, how did mum know this prisoner? She worked for the Ministry of Health and had a lot of programs inside the prison. So she's like, I know this lovely guy. She worked for the Ministry of Health and had a lot of programs inside the prison. So she's like, I know this lovely guy. I know his actual track record and this is the best you're going to do.

I know this lovely guy, but hear me out. It was a lot like that. She's like, so don't be judgmental, but there's this really good guy. I'm like, oh, fuck. Shit. What is this? And then he's like, he's in prison, but he's so lovely. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Shit. What is this? And then he's like, he's in prison, but he's so lovely. And I'm like, what?

What? And did you go on a date with him? No, he's in prison. He's still in prison. He's still in prison. He's still in prison. There wasn't enough past tense to tell me this was a story of time gone by. All right. Well, that obviously didn't work out.

Thank you, Anonymous. My mum got wasted with some friends at a Greek restaurant in Christchurch. Oh, okay. And passed my number onto the hot Greek waiter. I was 14 and he was 30. Mum. Mum. Shame on you.

Mum. That's illegal. He says mum. Mum went shopping at the local New World, got talking to the checkout boy Who I went to school with Came home Decided he would be my boyfriend So dragged me to the supermarket For the next few weeks

To see him I'm so embarrassed It finally happened Five years later We're still together Are you okay? How's your mum? Mum new?

That's cute Mum new? Hope you're still there Because mum probably wants Some of those stickers Before that promotion ends And he probably gets a discount too. Do you get a discount if you work on the checkout?

No, I don't think so. Did you get a discount, Jared, when you worked at Pack and Save? Did you get a discount? Did you know that Jared was a Pack and Save checkout operator? I know, he's very proud of it. At my Pack and Save, we got a little code that we put in when we bought our lunch that took one cent off our total purchase. One cent?

One cent. It's not worth punching in the numbers of the code. That's famously the people who own supermarkets are struggling. Yeah, doing your tough work. It's got to make ends meet. Pay for your lunch. Don't be greedy. Yeah.

My mum introduced me to an online friend from World of Warcraft 10 years ago. No thanks. Here's a lot. Mum's playing World of Warcraft. She's made a friend on World of Warcraft, who I assume is closer to your age. That was 10 years ago. We instantly fell in love.

Spent three years helplessly trying to find a way to make long distance work. He was from LA. We're now married and have an almost two-year-old and our next little one's on the way. Oh my God, love is real. Love is real. That was a good story.

Between an orc and a human barbarian Wow Nerds Word of Warcraft Lovely nerds No offence No offence Nerds

No offence to nerds, prisoners or the men of Manawatu Fact of the day Day, day, day, day, day I had a fact of the day planned and I've changed it Well, it wasn't your Monday's fact of the day. It was horrible. No, it wasn't grim. No, it was very, very interesting. And it's kind of, to be honest, it's a similar vein.

Oh, dear. But I've switched it because I got a message on Facebook the other night from Hewitt Barnsley. Now, if you grew up. The Hewitt Barnsley. If you were in the 1990s, were a child whose parents watched the news every night and you took in, you won't even know

this has happened, but you took in all the reporters' names that were constantly on the news because they'd sign off, they'd say their names. So Hi Tiffin. So Hi Tiffin is the absolute pinnacle of me, for me, of people whose name I've heard a thousand times. So Hi Tiffin

won news. Yes. Do you remember any? It was a Carol a thousand times. Yeah. So, hi, Tiffin. One news. Yes. Yeah. I- Do you remember any? It was a Carol, Carol- You were three. Carol Hirschfeld did reporting before she did the presenting. Hilary Barry back in news days. No, you're just naming the readers.

No, they're the readers. We're the reporters. Oh, no. I was a child. No, but that's what you always just heard these names. You at Barnsley. So, this is the same you at Barnsley. So this is the same Hewitt Barnsley. I always wanted to be a news reporter.

Hayley Sproul, one news. Yeah, it sounds it's a good reporter. What would your field be, your reporting area? Oh, who are we kidding? It would be entertainment or silly, goofy, doing the waterboarding or whatever. Waterboarding? You're torturing people.

Hayley Sproul, torture centre. One news. We cross now to Guantanamo Bay, Hayley Sproul. I'm just going to demonstrate. I'm just out here doing some waterboarding. Well, guys, I'm here at the bay. I've written a song about waterboarding. I thought you guys might like it.

Drip, drip, drip on their face. Put a towel over their face. Make it stop, make it stop. Dip them backwards into water. They can't breathe. It simulates drowning. They'll tell us the information we want to know. Hayley Sproul. Yeah, well, I gave up on that cruise of mine.

Yeah. Then we're you at Barnsley messages. Then he said, you wouldn't know me from a bar of soap. Oh, you're wrong, you at Barnsley. I remember you on the telly. What did you mean? Why did he message you? He is the current media manager for the City Rail Link project

and we've got a big old chub for a little bit of civil engineering. Fletcher, I love us. We went on the rail tour. We've been on two rail tours to the City Rail Link. Oh, you have too. Did you end up walking the Waterview Tunnel?

No, I was away that weekend. up walking the Waterview Tunnel? No. I was away that weekend. I walked the Waterview Tunnel. Every time we drove through that, the kids, who were tiny at the time, still go, remember when you made us walk through here? I'm like, oh, yeah, what a horrible father, letting his children experience civil engineering. There is a slight incline, though.

A little bit. A little bit on the way back. Right. There was an incline. Walked through the Victoria Park Tunnel. I just love a tunnel. I love a bridge. Huge fan of Civil Engineering. You love the Victoria tunnel.

I've been on a couple of dam tours. Yeah. Huge fan of the Vic tunnel. Yeah. There's a tunnel under the Kaimois that I went through when I was a kid. Yeah. The Kaimo Ranges. You love that.

And a train. And I just love to go through it again. Because it's dark from all the time. Right. Tunnels blow my mind seeing how tunnels are made. So the tunnel boring machine is all good by me.

Now he says... This is you at Barnsley One News. This is you at Barnsley One News says that the tunnel boring Thursdays are happening tomorrow which is a Thursday and next Friday, next Thursday

but you need to book your tickets. Okay. And he said, here's how to book your tickets. I'm not going to read out the whole link. It's long. It's got numbers and letters. Have you booked some tickets? Yeah, I booked need to book your tickets. Okay. And he said, here's how to book your tickets. I'm not going to read out the whole link. It's long. It's got numbers and letters. Right.

Have you booked some tickets? Yeah, I booked us two for next week. Because he said, your daughters want to come, but they're away tomorrow and they're back at school next week. Okay. So I'm the next best thing. You're the next best thing. Well, so your daughters won't appreciate the tunnel boring machine.

They might have been interested to see Dame Fina Cooper. The tunnel boring machine. Sorry, what's the fact of the day? So I was saying that we were getting pretty excited about this. I'm saying to Fletch, we're going to go see this. I know, I was here as you nerds were frothing over the new tunnel. And then Carwin at the social media desk said, who is the tunnel boring machine named after again?

And we said Dame Fina Cooper. That's right, eh? It was you that didn't know that it was named after Dame Fina Cooper. The tunnel boring machine. Don't worry about it. It's unimportant. She can't hear. And Fletch said,

all tunnel boring machines are named after females. Sorry? For the tunny? Tunny? All tunny boring machines. Bit of tunny. Bit of tunny. You have a bit of tunny.

So I was like, is that true? And he said, yes, it's true. So then I looked it up and yes all like tunnel tunnel boring modern and historical tunnel boring machines are named after females and i think we're at the fact of the day hayley thank you big bertha from seattle mum chong in san francisco lady bird was the name of the tunnel boring machine in Washington, D.C., the ones that redded the subway and underground in London recently, and the Chunnel, which was the Tunny that went under the Chunny.

All named after females. Why? Here is today's fact of the day. Oh, we have arrived. Tunnel boring machines are named after females because of Saint Barbara, the patron saint of

miners and underground workers. Huh. She was imprisoned in a tower by her tyrannical father and she studied to become a Christian, didn't want to. And then when she escaped, tunnel. Oh, so that's why she's a patron saint.

Yeah. And she hid underground for some time. So this is why St. Barbara. It sounds like the story of Rapunzel locked in a tower. A little bit of a Rapunzel vibe to it. So she became the patron saint of miners and people that worked underground. And, of course, tunnels are underground. Yeah. That's what makes a tunnel

a tunnel. But they couldn't all be called Barbara. So they were started to be named after, and here it is, groundbreaking females. Wow. Because they were tunnel boring machines. Groundbreaking women. As breaking ground and tunnelling through. And

Dame Fina Cooper, a groundbreaking wahine here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Maybe that's something you could aspire to. Aspire. Aspire. I'm not ready to aspire. Aspire to. The Haley Sproul tunnel.

Yeah. No, the tunnel boring machine. You'd be the machine. The tunnel doesn't get named after you? No, just the machine. No, I want a tunnel. I want a tunnel. I'm more of a tunnel than a machine.

I'm more of a tunnel than a machine. I'm more of a tunnel than a tunnel. You're boring that volcanic rock and chewing it up and spitting it out. You're just getting down there. You're a groundbreaking machine. What did Hewitt Barnsley say from One News? He just invited. He said, if you want to come along, here's how you book tickets. They're free, but you've got to book it.

If it's the Hewitt Barnsley? I said, the Hewitt Barnsley. This is my reply. I said's the Hewitt Barnsley? I said the Hewitt Barnsley. This is my reply. I said the Hewitt Barnsley, one used Hewitt Barnsley, but he might be trying to leave that behind. Maybe. Become a new man. But I do know I'm from a,

if there was a Hewitt Barnsley and a bar of soap, I'd definitely be able to tell the difference. Well, yeah, one's small and pink, and the other one's a bar of soap. If you're still using. Well, I was going to say a man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So today's fact of the day is all tunnel boring machines are named after females because of St. Barbara, but they can't all be called Barbara, so now they're named after groundbreaking females. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. 22 minutes away from nine. Coming up on the show, silly little poll.

How do we feel about putting something back at the supermarket in the wrong place? Sorry, I just saw Ross Boss trip up on absolutely nothing. That's the floor, the flat floor. That's the second time in two days. Have you got new shoes on? He's got his olive green plastic Birkenstocks. Because sometimes new shoes do that because you're not used to the... You're not sure where the end is.

Yeah. Also coming up, the foodstuffs. Half the supermarkets in New Zealand have revealed their number one item. And I thought we could talk about this when we do our silly little poll. The number one item that was purchased when everyone panicked on Sunday with Level Red. Oh, yes. I know what this is. We'll reveal this soon because it's an odd, it's not toilet paper.

You won't pick it. It's nothing that's in your pack. Not in your wellness kit. How do I not know about it? I'm not in the mail out. We were late. You were late. No, I was on Vaughan time.

Oh, sorry. I beg your pardon. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A clinical sexologist and relationship coach has given us a list of 50 questions to ask before making your relationship official. 25 to ask the person, ask each other.

Okay, yeah. And 25 to ask yourself. I'm not going to give you 50. I want to keep it punchy. We don't have time for that. Absolutely. So I'm going to give you five questions that you should ask yourself before committing to something bigger than just the

steamy, you know, drunkenness of new love. Is the first one, will they make me sign a prenup? It should be. Not on my list here. Number five of the questions you should ask yourself. What is the most annoying habit about that other person? Annoying habit that the other person has, sorry.

Oh. Because you've got to go, we've been dating for three months. If it's annoying now, how am I going to feel about it in a year's time? You have to ask yourself. And is it that big a deal? Is it a small thing like

Aaron doesn't know where the little bin is next to the toilet for the toilet paper roll when it's finished. So he'll just put it on the floor. So close to it. Right. Oh, that would annoy the hell out of me. Yeah, I guess I'm still asking myself. Like a wet towel. Can I move on from that one or, I guess I'm still asking myself. Like a wet towel.

Can I move on from that one or? Wet towel situation? No, he's not a wet towel boy. He's not a wet towel boy. That would be straight out the door. Number four, do you have similar sexual appetites? And do you connect on an intimate level? Yeah.

My sexual appetite is quite carb heavy. No, you're thinking about appetite. You're just thinking of general tummy appetite. Oh, right. I find that quite sexual to stop it though. Yeah, yeah. We've talked about that food is the gateway. Number three, does the relationship energise

you and do you feel sad when you imagine not being together? Basically, are you super jazzed about this person beyond just wanting to hang out? Okay. Do you miss them when you're gone uh number two do your families and friends like them or are there some concerns i don't place a lot of value on this one i'd say mind your own business what if what if your best friends though were like hey red flags

here we we i mean you no one ever says they hate until they partner until they're gone. Yeah, maybe if it was your bestie, I'd be like, okay, I'll have a little listen. But also, you don't know me. Yeah. And number one, you've got to ask yourself, look in the mirror, I'd suggest, and say, is it lust or is it love? Before you make it official. Before you make it official.

Before you start joining bank accounts. But you can... Oh, yeah, okay, that level of official. But you can be official, like, boyfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, whatever. You're going to list all of them. I don't know.

I just felt like I was wandering into territory that I'm not informed enough on there, so that's why I stopped. But without being in love with someone, because love develops. Absolutely. You can lust someone and it can turn into love. I think it's love in the broader sense. So not like, love, I want you to, you know, impregnate me. Right. But just, is it more than just lust?

Right. Do I want to do things with you like, come out. Give lust a shot. Give lust a chance though. Give lust a go. Lust could turn into love. There's got to be a bit of lust. Yeah, there's got to be a lust. Until you're lusting and they leave the be a bit of lust Yeah There's gotta be a lust

Until you're lusting And they leave the toilet roll On the floor If it's just a like I'd say love turns into Lust turns into love More than like turns into love I'll say it

I'll stand by that as well Yeah If it's just a If it's a soft Handshake like Like a wet fish like Oh floppy Yeah

Yeah Then it might not turn into Love But if it's a good Stiff Hard Handshake of lust Yup like a wet fish life. Oh, floppy. Yeah, no, no, no. Then it might not turn into love, but if it's a good stiff, hard handshake of lust, it could turn into love. All right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. How do we feel about putting things back on the wrong place, the wrong shelf at the supermarket? I feel like people should be charged and imprisoned. So that means you're a nah.

I am a no. You can't do that. Yes. Go for the short walk. I mean, what supermarket is so big that you couldn't walk back and put it back? Okay, so here's an example. The other day I was at the self-serve

and I think I had a bag of Mandis and the barcode was like printed out on like an 80s printer and it wouldn't scan. So I just left it on the side. You didn't ask for assistance? Nah. That's the best place to leave it though. Yeah, because then they have to type in that really long number

and they have to faff about and I'm Fletch is so busy he didn't have 10 seconds. I was in a rush to go nowhere. So you don't have 10 seconds and as a result the worker who is working at the supermarket then has to find eventually your abandoned bag of mandis. I reckon they love getting away from the self-serve area.

Let's call them abanderins. Abanderins. Very good. That was good. I liked it. It just brought it to my head. No, it's not on. That was a funny word to think of.

If I'm walking down an aisle and I see maybe another product that's cheaper or better and I've got a similar, I might do that, but I will never ever put like Bag of Deli ham. No, I'd go back and put the ham or the salami back in the right place. No, but how? When you've ordered it over the counter and you say, hi there, can I have

250 grams of that? Or the premier champagne ham. Leave it in the chilled area. No, I'd just buy it. You can't, you'd have to buy it. I'd have to buy it. Champagne ham's an easy one To work out though Because you measure You buy it by the weight So if it's $3.99

Per 100 grams And you're like 200 grams You know what you're paying But it's those bloody Pottled salads That always sneak up on you Yeah You see a beetroot salad

Weight a thousand kilograms Yeah you see a lot of those On the shelves Or even when you go to buy You know some fish Like a tarakihi or something. And then you're like, I'll just get two fillets of that. And then you get your bag and it's $27.

$400. But you can't fish is one of those ones you couldn't leave it anywhere. You've got to take that. Put it back in the chips. Well, it's a 60-40 split. I thought it would be far more in favour of nah, even if people just voted nah, but then they did this as their guilty little pleasure anyway.

60% of people said no. You've got to put it back where you got it from. And 41% said, yeah, I'll do it. So lazy. Emily writes, tell me why. Having to go back and put it back on the shelf is so embarrassing. Oh my gosh. Emily's either done her time in a supermarket

or just easily frustrated by these sorts of things. So that's a shame-based response. Yeah. When I worked in a supermarket, writes Morgan, it was low-key fun finding random stuff to take back to its place, kind of like a treasure hunt, but also gross when it was cold stuff that had to be thrown out. Yeah, that's wasteful.

So there you go, she's on side for your non-perishables or your room temperature goodies, but not your refrigerated items. Yeah. Becky says, I can't be bothered going back to where I got it or if I found a cheaper option. We've had a text in from somebody, as a past supermarket worker, I can confirm it was always a fight to see who could put back all the putbacks.

Best job in the world. Because you'd just be walking around the whole time. You leave your station. You don't have to check people's ID for booze at the self-serve. You don't have to scan. You just aimlessly wander for 10. It's a break. You don't change your own till.

No, it's a break. It's a bit of fun. And if you see it as a game, because I was really standing up for them, because I think it's sort of like you do it. You know, us being like, why should I have to? You do it. You work here. No, they want to. No, they enjoy it. They love it. I might abandon my whole trolley around

the supermarket today. Give them a bit of fun for the afternoon. Yeah, why not? I'm a provider of entertainment. What can I say? Ali messaged you, my boyfriend and I play a game with this. It's whoever finds the weirdest wrong place for an item wins. Does that mean when they spot somebody else who's whoever finds the weirdest wrong place for an item wins. Oh, okay. Does that mean when they spot somebody else who's done it?

Yeah, they have to spot someone. I don't think they have. Chicken breasts in the flour on top of a bag have been a winner so far. They could leak down into the bag, though. Oh, that's manky. And then you're on your way to making a schnitzel. So while we're on the subject of the supermarkets, foodstuffs who are New World, Pack and Save,

and the likes of Foursquare as well, they have released the top 20 lists of items who are New World, Pack and Save, and the likes of Foursquare as well. Yes. They have released the top 20 lists of items that were most sought after on Sunday when everybody panicked because of red traffic light. And they, I mean, I don't mean to say that the government didn't word it very well, but they were like, get prepared. Yeah. Have enough food for a week.

So everyone did go out and panic a little bit. The number one item that Foodstuff sold on Sunday was sweet corn. Creamed? It just says sweet corn. No, cobs of corn. It's because it's the season. No, it's got to be creamed corn. Does it say canned? It just says sweet corn.

No, it's because it's corn season. No. I mean, there's many ways you can look at it. Frozen sweet corn, I agree, because, you know, you're always going to have some vegetables in the freezer. It's the best frozen vegetable, too. It's the best? Oh, that's outrageous.

Peas. No, it's better than peas. You're outrageous. You're out of line. It's better than peas. You're outnumbered. You need to get your head into the game. This is a democracy.

All in favour of sweet corn being the best frozen vegetable? Aye. What? Two out of three. What is wrong with you? So what, you have a roast with just a side of of sweet corn being the best frozen vegetable? Aye. What? Two out of three. What is wrong with you? So what, you have a roast with just a side of boiled sweet corn? I don't want peas anywhere near my roast. Nah.

I'd be happy if peas left the face of the planet. I've lost so much respect. We were brought up in houses in the 80s and 90s where it was peas. Peas every night pretty much. Yep. I love a pea. I can't do them now. Fresh pea from the garden, absolutely.

It was our waterboarding, really, wasn't it? It was, yeah. Oh, God, we suffered. I can't do them now. Fresh pea from the garden. Absolutely. It was our waterboarding, really, wasn't it? It was, yeah. Oh, God, we suffered. You canned. We were fed every night. Okay, so either way, though, sweet corn was number one. Biting our avocado, bananas, milk, broccoli, capsicum, cucumber, butter, breast, skinless, watermelon, a lot of fruit and veg.

Do you reckon it's because we've gone through so many lockdowns where we've all gone so fat and put on so much weight that we're like, not this time. I'm going to have salads every day. I also just think it's everyone does the Sunday shop for the week's worth of produce and everyone's going back to work. So they're trying to eat a bit better. It's just a coincidence, I think.

And it's corn season. The only place for a can of creamed corn is in a delicious toastie. Oh, hallelujah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.