ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 27th February 2023

Episode Date: February 26, 2023

Poop Cloth  Harrys Hat  Top 6: Things easier than filling a Bean Bag  Hayleys RSA Quiz  Yuck things your partner does!  Hayleys Flare  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee by redeeming your MyMackers rewards. That was spoken so beautifully. Beautifully done. Thank you.

Beautifully done. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Well done, sir. To you, sir. Thank you. Commendations. Sincere, warm, informative.

Loving. Wow. Soft, yet firm. Yeah, that's what they say. I, as you will hear, I went home for the weekend, hang out with my family, down at the bottom of the North Island. Because your brother's back? My brother's back from Melbourne.

Did you just go for the weekend? Yeah, well, that's all I had. That's an expensive weekend. Oh, no, he was there for three weeks. Oh, okay, right. He's been there for three weeks. And we did a bit of shopping on Saturday. Now, in the Wairarapa, the mighty Wairarapa,

they've got great antique stores. And you know me, I love antiques. Very eclectic style. Do they know what they've got yet, though? Because you know how some antique stores in some parts of the country they don't know what they've got no no they know they know okay prices priced accordingly priced accordingly we went to one of my favorite ones and um i saw on the wall this arctic fox taxidermied bust. Okay. Like, head thing. And Aaron and I had seen it at Christmas. Right.

And we were like, oh, my God, that's incredible. It's white. It almost looks like a little Samoyed, like a little white puppy. It's so cute. Like a snow fox. Yeah. And we looked at it and we were like, no, we can't afford it. It's a ridiculous thing to buy.

And we bought an auction in instead. How old would thing to buy, and we bought an option instead. How old would it be? So old, I imagine. Yeah, like back when you could kill that and stuff it. Yeah, oh, no, it died of natural causes. Yeah, that's why the bodies are not attached. Anyway, so we went there again with my family, and I was like, you know what, there it is.

And he looks into my soul, and he's like, take me home. What does the fox say? Take, take, take, take, take me home. Take, take, take, take me home. And so I did. I bought it. And I bought it as a surprise for Aaron because I thought it could be a nice little gift to give him at the end of the Reno. And then once the house is finished and I'll just pop it on the wall and he'll be like, oh, my God, the Arctic fox.

Now, I'm going to turn off the microphones and you're going to tell Vaughn and I how much this costs and then I'm going to turn the microphones back on. Okay? Okay? Stand. Fuck me! Fuck off!

No! He's going to be angry. Hayley! Hayley! He's going to be angry. God. You're going to give a gift and he's going to be like, oh my fuck. Look at the producer's faces.

No, don't. Look at their faces. No, don't. This is an antique piece of art. How many weeks rent is that, Carl Wayne? A lot. A lot. A lot. Stop it.

Stop it. How many tote bags full of dildos is that, Shannon? She's got enough bags of dildos. You can never have enough bags of dildos. She's got the same amount of money in that bag that I do on this fox. I don't think so. More uses, though. More uses though, more uses.

Calvin raises a great point there. More uses, yeah. I'm leading you to go fox yourself. Most of you could get out of an Arctic fox is a bit of frottage, isn't it? Yeah. If you're a furry. Maybe a little more

If you could open up Something new in us Jesus Christ Look it's an antique It's a piece of art I won't be judged And I bought it And I have

Some regrets Because I transferred The money from my GST account To afford it Oh my god It doesn't matter You've robbed When the tax man

Comes knocking You'll be like I don't have it But Look at this cutie patootie on my wall. Do you want to see a piece of art and an antique and something I won't be judged on? Yeah. Why are you taking me to prison?

I don't understand. Look at this. I showed you the fox. Look at his face. How could I have said no? Wow. Do people want health care or do they want to look at the fox? I mean, I think this thing would cure a few illnesses. I think it's a little bit of both.

It's almost medicinal. It's going to make us happy. So how did you get this home? Just pop it in the suitcase? Well, I just put it in a paper bag, like looking up, like out the bag. And so I took it home like that and I just put it through security. And obviously they pulled me over because they saw it going

through the screen. It was like dead animal head. They pulled it over and the guy just looked in the back. He was like, oh, weird. Taxidermy, do they remove the bones? Yeah, I think most of the time they do. And they just make stuff it with like a hard kind of thing. Yes, right.

Make a frame for it. He's cute. How much taxidermy is going to be in your place? Quite a bit at this point. There's quite a lot going on. But creepy, isn't it? It's going to be, honestly, it's going to be a good place. Quite a bit at this point. There's quite a lot going on. A bit creepy, isn't it? It's going to be, honestly,

it's going to be a good surprise and Aaron will be happy and then he'll say, oh my God, how much was it again? I'll be like, no, they

had a sale and they did a 70% off. They saw how happy it made me and they gave it to me. Wow. Hashtag gifted.

Yes. She. She. Gee. Well. Play ZN's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six.

Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. The happiest of Mondays. Is someone hungover today? Do you know what you shouldn't do on a Sunday night? Drink six bottles of wine with the neighbours. Jesus.

Nice effort. We love our neighbours. Six bottles of wine on a Sunday night. Oh, look. We got carried away. I'm alright. I've had ham on toast. And like two litres of water.

Yeah. Water is the key. I hear that's quite the drink for this year. Nature's Powerade. Wow, really? Nature's Powerade. Right, I prefer Powerade's Powerade. Well, actually, you'd say coconut. I say coconut water is Nature's Powerade. You've I prefer Powerade's Powerade. Well, actually, you'd say coconut. I say coconut water is nature's Powerade.

You got a coconut tree, do you? Yeah. What about... In my apartment. I've got four. You bought out the apartment above you just to knock out the floor so the coconut tree could reach its full height. I've got big holes in the ceiling, yeah.

I'll buy the one above that when they get a bit tall. Yeah, absolutely. Well, he had to buy them. He couldn't just put a hole in because then the neighbours would have access to the coconuts. Yeah, he had his coconut

in his dress. Ceiling and coconuts? Yeah. Madness. How does he put the sun in there? The lime in the coconut. What was that song?

We put the lime in the coconut. Was it a juice ad? Was it a juice ad? Let me just Google he put the lime in the coconut. Yeah it a juice ad? Was it a juice ad? Let me just Google, he put the lime in the coconut. Yeah, was it a fruit juice or something? Yeah. By Nilsson Schmilson.

Harry Nilsson. Coconut. Was it a song, not an ad? It might have been a song that was used in there. Or is it a song on an ad? Yeah. All right, on the show today, our grocery grab is back at 8 o'clock, all thanks to the warehouse.

So we'll have 20 everyday items that you can buy at the warehouse, grocery items. They'll go past our conveyor belt. We'll read them out. And you've got to call back as many as you can. Recall as many as you can. How do I say this word? Aioli.

There's too many vowels. Aioli. Too many vowels in that one. One of the items will be a golden item, which is worth $100. So I think last week we gambled at least every day. Close to $300. Close to $300 every day. Nothing under $200.

Nothing under $200. So your chance to win that warehouse gift card credit today at 8 o'clock with our grocery grab. The top six is on the way. Yeah, producer Jared and his lovely partner at the weekend undertook one of a relationship's biggest tests. Goodness. And the top six is to do with that. What is the giant test? Well, dear listener, I'm not telling you.

But you will soon. I will soon. That means you have to keep listening. You'll be telling us. You might be telling us close to 7 o'clock. It's a long way to tease. I have effectively brought you to the edge of climax. Yeah. And then I've told you not right now.

Wow. Not right now. I don't know. Let's watch another episode of Physical 100 and then maybe. Hell yeah. You're all about that show, aren't you? Oh my God, it is. It's great family watching.

The whole family sit down and we're like into it. We've all got our favorites. It's insane. I want to follow them all on social media, but I don't want any spoilers because I'm not at the end yet. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm not at the end yet. Well, I like this show. You would love this show. I don't know. spoilers because I'm not at the end yet. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm not at the end. Well, I like the show. You would love

the show. I know. Hotties. Yeah, dude. Some of these bods are radon. Like, how do you get the shoulders to do the like, gadoo, gadoo, gadoo thing? And it's different sorts of challenges. Like, one's a strength, one's a speed, one's a... One was quite wily.

Like, you had to be quite wily. Okay. Some of them were just brutal. Oh, yeah. Just beat each other up. All the top six coming up. Also soon, Harry Styles has sold out a particular fashion item in Australia. He has. During his tour there.

We're really teasing this morning, aren't we? But next on the show. No, I'll tease something from at 8.07. At 8.07. I don't know if we're doing that far out. Make sure you're still listening. Yeah. Because I found something in my car.

Oh. Can't get to the bottom of it. I'm excited about this find. 8.07. I want to use it. Now, it's 6.07, so that's a two-hour wait. Yeah, yeah. But it's going to be packed.

There's all sorts in the show. Okay, what's next? What is next is there is a family that has shed something they do, and I think it is grotty. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. What is next is there is a family that has shared something they do, and I think it is grotty. Okay, this isn't as bad as I originally thought. So there is a mum who shares her low-waste life on TikTok. Now, I'm all for reducing waste. Not at the moment, currently.

I'm creating a lot of it with the renovation. But soon I will be about the low waste life when it suits me. Bless you. But thank you. I'm an eco-warrior. But this mum shares all of her little hacks, and then she shared what she calls the family cloth. Now, you can probably immediately imagine what that is.

But originally, I thought this was a cloth that the family shares, but it's not. Right. So she, they, and they don't have toilet paper in their house. They have cloths. Yeah, they have the family cloth that they wipe their bum-bums with. Wasn't this a trend when, do you remember toilet paper shortages

with COVID and lockdowns? Yeah, and people were doing like that. Yeah, do this. Well, she says it's most- There was never a toilet paper shortage in COVID. It was not in New Zealand. It was panic buying, but we still had the plan.

Yeah, there was panic buying, which did lead to some supermarkets not having them. Some people with a short, yeah. Also, I would 100% have a bidet. Yeah. If possible. I don% have a bidet. Yeah. If possible. I don't know.

When we did bathroom rentals, the things that stopped us, there wasn't enough space for it. Yeah. And the price. But they're ugly. How much do they cost? You can get a toilet

with them built in, but Sade didn't want that because it looked like a Japanese, a Japanese hotel toilet. I used one of those in a Southeast Asian hotel once. Like a posh hotel in Asia.

Just a bit weird getting squirted on the bum. Yeah, but do you know you would have a bidet next to your toilet? That would look so ugly. They do look ugly. I've told this story a hundred percent, but there was one family in Morrisville with a bidet and the parents went away and they had a party when we were at high school

and someone took a shit in the dick. That's right. Like, this is a small rural town in the 90s. No one knew what a bidet was. Everyone was just like, is this the wheeze toilet? Like, is this just purely a urinal? And then someone took a shit in it. One of the best.

The party. Stop the best. The party. Stop the music. Record stop. Who shat in mum and dad's bidet? And we're just like, what is a bidet? The toilet beside the toilet. And then everyone was just like. That's what that is.

Did anybody own up? Absolutely not. So I don't get it. So you do your business in a toilet and then you switch to the bidet. And it cleans you. You go whoop next door. How hard does it spritz? What if it's a real gritty number? Well it's not a water blaster. What does it do?

It squirts a thing and you move around to. Oh no you wiggle on it. You kind of wet. But then you've still got to have a towel to wipe. Yeah. Or you could have a family cloth. You could have a family cloth. So she makes them out of her old, mostly flannel cut from old Christmas pyjamas.

Far out. Okay. And then they have a little bin for their family cloths. Right. And then they put them in the laundry. Oh, that washing machine. That washing machine. That's me.

I'm like. You'd almost want a separate washing machine. A family cloth washing machine. That washing machine. That's me. I'm like. You'd almost want a separate washing machine. A family cloth washing machine. A family cloth. And a family clothes washing machine. So, yeah. Oh, no, that's grim. She says it.

She swears by it. Sturdier and softer on the bum. But then that's no different than when, like, a lot of us growing up may have had cloth nappies back in the day. Oh, yeah, totally. Cloth nappies roll. But then, like, that's no different. Says someone that's never had a job and had to wash a had cloth nappies back in the day. Oh, yeah, totally. Cloth nappies rule. But then, like, that's no different. Someone's never had a child and had to wash a shitty cloth nappy.

And I never shall. But there are better options for reusable nappies now. Right. There's, like, little things you just... Like an in-aligner. Yeah, like you just dye them in. Oh, right. But then the poo still gets out the side.

Up the back, around the corner, everywhere. In the entire pyjamas. Because also baby poo is like... Wild. Orange. Sometimes. It's wild. Is it your first time eating a carrot mushed up and then slowly fed to you and you only had three spoons?

Well, you better have the brightest orange shit of your lifetime. Wow. Yeah. How would you wash a cloth na, well, you better have the brightest orange shit of your lifetime. Wow. Yeah. How would you wash a cloth nappy? Rinse it in the sink? Yeah. Oh. Again.

I'd throw them out. I'd throw them out. Exactly. I'd make them disposable. Wow. But this family does it. Yeah. And they've shared it.

Yeah, they've shared it. They're like, this is the way. You've got to use it. You've got to wipe your bum with an old cut-up pair of Dad's Christmas pyjama pants. Yuck. And then stick them in the wash. You know she's also like, I'll chuck a couple of undies in with it.

I know we're getting all this wild weather and global warming and it's snowing in California at the moment, but I'm not wiping my ass with my old pyjamas. Sorry, I'm rather seaside towns cease to exist than ever have to wipe my ass with my Dad my old pyjamas. Sorry, I'm rather seaside towns cease to exist than ever have to wipe my ass with my dad's Christmas pyjamas. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

The CIA have a technique to make your pain stop. Do they? Jesus Christ. Central Intelligence Agency. Association. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. Do they? Jesus Christ Central Intelligence Agency Association Yeah Oh yeah Yeah

So have you got any sore bits At the moment? Nah I've got a bit of a stiff back But I mean that's just Right Being 41 years old Yeah

Sleeping like a croissant No not a croissant A A pretzel Oh yeah pretzel A pretzel Yeah twisted up Twisted up

Messy. You got any sore bits? I got a sore head. Okay. That's six bottles of wine. Yeah. You always got to finish with a red, don't you? That's the mistake.

You really got to finish with a tawny port. No, we didn't have any tawny port. Oh, you didn't have a sticky tawny port. So here's what you do. If you're listening and you got a sore bit, this is what you do Don't be doing this if you're driving Because you need to shut your eyes So shut your eyes They say lie down in a comfortable position

But other people have said no need Lie down in a comfortable position Breathe deeply five times And count from one to twenty Yep You couldn't have counted to twenty in that time No I'm not doing this because I don't have any sore bits Seven count from 1 to 20. Yeah. So that's... You say yep. You couldn't have counted to 20 in that time. No, I'm not doing this

because I don't have any sore back. Seven. Eight. We're just... This is to get yourself into a point of relax. Okay. Relaxation.

Right. Would you use this if you're being tortured? Is this where this comes from? CIA. You'd zone out. Yeah. Okay, right. Okay.

To remember any... Oh, no. This is the daily tools. So that's how you get to sleep. Oh'd zone out. Yeah. Okay, right. Okay. To remember any... Oh, no, this is the daily tools. So that's how you get to sleep. I'm working my way up to reducing pain signals. You've just put Hayley to sleep. I attempted fate there and Sprouse nodded off. To remember any part of your life experience, close your eyes, touch softly the fingers of your right hand

to the centre of your forehead. When you do this, you recall and remember immediately what you consciously desire. Oh, no. This is a CIA. Okay, so to reduce pain. Here we go. So now I'm asleep.

Show your eyes. I'm remembering traumatic childhood experiences. This is the problem because I read the thing about shutting your eyes being the first step and then scroll down and it seems like shutting your eyes is the first step to everything. Right. In the CIA. So if you see someone with their eyes shut today, they're probably an undercutter operative.

So this means, so we could go through torture. Yep. Someone's ripping my nips off. Okay. Shut your eyes and look at the part of your body which is the source of pain signals. I can't, my eyes are closed. In this case, it would be your nipples. No, but like, look with your eyes closed.

You know what your nipples look like. Look with your mind's eye. Yeah, your mind's eye, effectively, I guess. Perfect toy petite. As you look, repeat in your mind the number 55515. Now, I assume it's 55515, not 55,515. You say it, 55515. When you do these two things,

the pain signals will slowly reduce until they are no longer important. Have you got a hangover headache? Oh my God, guys. It's gone. It's absolutely gone. I don't know if you say 55515 out loud. Oh no, repeat in your mind. Repeat in your mind.

So use your mind's eye and your mind's voice. So you're like, you're captured by the enemy and they're ripping off your fingernails and you're just like, you look at your fingernails. 5-5-5-1-5. Do-do-do. I'd be like, I don't feel nothing. Oh, 800-5-5-5-1-3. No, that's not the number.

Oh, more pain than ever before. Do you want to know how to reduce emotional charge? I don't know what emotional charge is. This is just the next one. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't, Vaughan, and that's the issue. You don't bring enough emotional charge to the marriage. Okay, so I'm closing my eyes.

Yeah. I'm inhaling deeply. Hold my breath for a moment. And then think of the calming, cleansing color green. When you do this, exhale slowly, and the green energy will push all excess and harmful emotional charges down through your physical system and out through the soles of your feet.

Why is the CIA talking about green energy? And then if you've got some time, light some sage and wave that around the house and scare away the ghosts. It's not even airy-fairy bullshit. I can't imagine Jack Ryan doing this. No. Charging his bloody amethyst in the moonlight. Yeah. They have a big giant crystal at CIA reception.

Oh, one of those huge, yeah. Himalayan salt lamps. And then when it's a full moon, it goes up out the roof and recharges in the full moon, of course. And they all rip off their clothes and go chanting in the woods. But 55514. It doesn't sound CIA, does it? Do you know there was a podcast I was listening to. One of the guys had like severe back pain.

And his doctor said your back is actually better about... Than your... What? Your back's better than your... Don't worry. You said my back. Yeah. Oh, my...

Yeah, don't worry. Your back is better, like, weeks before you stop feeling the pain because in your mind, you've had the pain, so you just expect it. Yeah. Right. So you're better, like, whatever was causing the pain's gone, but your mind's like, I've had pain, so I'm expect it. Yeah. Right. So you're better, like whatever was causing the pain's gone, but your mind's like, I've had pain, so I'm assuming it's still there.

And you just keep thinking it's there. Aaron's back's been bad, and he went to a thing called the pain clinic, and some of it was like psychotherapy, basically. Because they go like, the pain's probably not as bad, but your body's like remember the injury, remember the injury.

Yeah. It's here at any moment. And it's just always in there. It's grown to expect the pain, so you just keep having it. So if you break your arm, it's not real. You're sucking a puss. It's not real. 55515.

Next on the show, Harry Styles has been selling out an item of clothing in Australia during his tour. And maybe something that you already have at home lying around. Yeah, maybe. been selling out an item of clothing in Australia during his tour. And maybe something that you already have at home lying around. Yeah, maybe. And also, this was associated with some very naughty people once upon a time. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Well, Harry Styles performing his shows in Australia before he comes here a week tomorrow for his Mount Smart show. which is at Census Day. How is he going to squeeze that in? How long does the census take to fill in? Can you do it now? Like for the 7th? Sorry, I turned my phone on and Ursula Carlson was yelling at me

I don't know I got my code I got my code already I could try I got the mail Here's your code Do it for the household And I stuck it to the fridge

And I was like See you later Code And then you'll probably forget about it Yeah But I'm sure he'll do that at some stage Yeah What do you even know

Because you've got to put down Like how much money you earn and stuff but you've got to put all these personal details down. How much how would you even break it down? Would he even know

how much he earns a year? And also like with an artist like that it would be fluctuating. Some years huge some years It would have been a good year he's been touring a lot.

He's been touring so but you know And he spat on Chris Pine does he put that in his census? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe under sexual preference. Yeah spitting on Chris Pine. Does he put that in his census? Yeah. Maybe under sexual preference. Spitting on men. Sexual preference. Spitting.

Spitting on Captain Kirk. Well, at his last show in Australia in Melbourne, he donned a hat that somebody threw on the stage. A $7 straw Bunnings hat. And like you said, it, made famous by the... The Naughty Irish Tourists, which I looked up, was 2019.

That's right. January 2019. Over four years ago. One of my favourite years, 2019. Oh, we didn't know how good we had it. Though back in the good old days. Literally the good old days. The good old days.

And the teenies. Yeah. You know what we called them? The teenies. The the good old days. The good old days. And the teenies. Yeah. The teenies. The teenies, yeah. The 20 teenies. But yes, $7, this Bunnings straw hat. Loads of people had them. Yeah.

Dads love them. Dads love the big straw hat. I'd go for the white brim. Someone threw it on stage and he put it on his head, as you do with a hat. And it's been selling like crazy. Bunnings, quick to jump on their website, and if you search Harry Styles, it comes up.

He just makes anything look cool. Like, you put it on and it'll... Yeah, that's the thing. Don't think you're going to look as cool, because you won't. You're not going to look that cool, because you're also not wearing red leather pants and a glittery T-shirt.

And you're not Harry Styles. That's doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Yeah. Well, yeah, his whole persona is doing the heavy lifting, isn't it? Yeah. So once he's famous, hot face. He's done a shooey. He's put on a Bunnings hat.

What are we going to make him do? I don't know. Eat pineapple lumps. Yeah. Hey, you can try these. They're a bit unusual, a bit different, a bit nice. Do a bloody fat bong. Oh, no one do that. Fat bong. Yeah. Rip a bit nice. Do a bloody fat bong.

Rip a fat bong. Jeez. I don't know. I do have my bong lighter. Which you bought in for the candle. Yeah. I refilled this. Is that how they retail them?

Well, Snoop Dogg and who was his buddy? Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart did a joint release for these lighters with a little bit of a, it's like a barbecue lighter except shorter. Good for candles. Great for candles. He's like, yeah. And it was very wink, wink to the camera that it was for boys.

Because he loves an Akoya. Huge fan. Snoop Dogg. I had some of his wine on the weekend. He's got a wine? Yeah. Is it his wine or are they just using his face on it? Because isn't it that...

It's the one of... Every wine's got a story about the naughty 19 convicts or something. And then they did a special one with him because he talked about when he was arrested. I don't know. It was just at my parents' house. It was fine. He just drank it.

He'll just drink anything that's in the house. How much wine did you drink at the weekend? All of it. All of it. Expect a shortage. There don't just drink anything. How much wine did you drink at the weekend? All of it. All of it. Expect a shortage. There will officially be a shortage. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

A man called Jeff has a record. He is a record holder for the most consecutive days visits to Disneyland. Consecutive? Yeah. Like he went every day. And they had a few days closed over COVID, didn't they? No, no, no. So COVID was the end of his consecutive days.

Right. Yeah. Whoa. How many? He was five days away from 3,000 when they shut for COVID. Oh my God. I'd just go. But surely-

2,995 days. Surely as soon as they open again, that's still counted as a consecutive day that it's open. Nah. Really? They don't reckon it was, nah. So from 2012 was where he started. You might be thinking, what is this guy's story? How did he afford this?

8.2 years. Yeah. He went every day. Yeah. To Disneyland. For eight years. Why? Well, so in 2012, someone gave him an annual pass. He said he was out of work. He was in a bad spot.

He, you know, wasn't exercising, wasn't leaving his home. You know, all the hallmarks of depression. Yes. Yeah. What makes you happier? It's the happiest place in the world. Apart from if you don't like crowds. Yeah. Because there's always a crowds. There's always a crowd.

There's always a crowd. So he went and he was like, well, I don't have a job, so I'll just go again tomorrow. And then he's like, well, I actually quite liked yesterday and I got on all these steps. I'll go again tomorrow. Right. And then when he went to his 60th day in a row,

he was like, I wonder if like I could set a record or something. So he set about setting a record, but then he, like, Googled, how do you set a Guinness World Record? And they were like, you have to pay an admin fee. And he's like, well, I don't have a job. So I can't pay that anyway. I'll just keep going because I'm loving it. So how did he, did he have a partner?

Nope. Because I would be like, imagine every day, I'd be like, I've just got to poke over to Disneyland. So he ended up getting a job, but still wanted to go every single day. So he would go before work or after work. And I guess he's not going to the park like other people would to do all the rides and see as much as they can every day.

He's just going. He might only go for an hour or half an hour. He might just clock in sometimes and then leave. He goes in for lunch. He said only go for an hour or a half an hour. He might just clock in sometimes and then leave. He goes in for lunch. He said that he'd pack a sandwich. Well, you're thinking, oh my God, it's so expensive. I know, yeah.

How much that would cost you. Oh my God. I'm just trying to look up how much an annual pass costs. So I don't, even now, so post-COVID, because this is when we, when I went in 2008,

you just rocked up to Disneyland and then you went. And then when I went last year, it just rocked up to Disneyland and then you went. And then when I went last year, it was like, oh no, you've got to reserve the days you want to go because they've got a maximum capacity for the park now. So there's no guarantee, even if you're an annual pass holder, that you will be able to go every day you want. Surely once they realised how often he was coming, he'd get a little special treatment. So no, because it was the COVID that stopped them.

It was when they shut down for COVID was the end of his run. From the eight years from 2012 to 2020. And so what's he doing now? He still goes back. Still goes back. Still goes back most days. He said not every day because of the reservation thing, but, you know, he still tries to get back there most days.

Wow. Is he happy? Happier. Has he got a partner? No word of a partner. Surely he must have met some kind of Disney, you know, Disney people. Disney dork. Disney people.

You're a Disney person. I don't want to date a 50-year-old man called Jeff. You need to open your mind. I might be like, hey, Jeff. You do need to open your mind. Don't be so closed off. Yeah. I need to be curious, don't I?

Yeah. I mean, you've got a wife. Yeah. I think she needs to open her mind. To me and Jeff. To you and Jeff. To the idea of you and Jeff at Disneyland. It'd be hard to start a relationship with this man because when he's not at work, he'll be at Disneyland.

He'll be at Disneyland, yeah. Yeah, but you could go with him. That's the bit you'd like. To Disneyland. Yeah. Yeah, I would like that part. We That's the bit you'd like. To Disneyland. Yeah. Yeah, I would like that part. We could just be friends. Make love in the boat.

But then Eve and I would be like, not today, Jeff. Jeff would be like, come on, Vaughn. I'm tired. I don't want to. Yeah, I've got to do the lawns. You'd be like,

should we go to Universal Studios? And Jeff's like, it'll never work. Do not speak those words. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

This morning, producer Jared tells us he undertook yesterday one of the greatest challenges a couple can face, filling up beanbags with the beanbag beans. Even though the beanbag beans are more beanbag balls. Yeah. Did beanbags originally be filled with some form of bean? They could have been. Jared, I want to know what technique you and your lovely partner,

Emma, undertook. We kind of smushed the bag into the beanbag and just did our best. That's a good technique. We had to kind of shimmy the hands into the hole and spread the bag with our hands while just hoping stuff would fall. You needed to put more thought into that.

You're going to have balls everywhere. Oh, we did. You should have made a funnel. Some kind of makeshift funnel. We tried to taper the bag hole, but it was just too wide. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to, hmm. How we've done it previously is the bag it's going into is on the bottom right,

and you open it, but not heaps, and then you just put a cut in the bag, and you mouth-to-mouth it. Oh, no, that's fast and loose. No. You just shake. What do you do? Wait, you were saying

you cut the... The plastic bag. Do you know where the beans are going from? Yeah. How would you do it? We got two bean bags

last Christmas. Funnels don't work. Yeah, we did. We got a handy towel tube and we put it in and then we got the bean bag

plastic bag and went around that and then taped it tight and then we got the bean bag plastic bag and went around that and then taped it tight. No, that's going to take forever. And then you pour it upside down

and it funnels out. Oh, that's a great idea. Thank you. You could do it with a bit of 100ml downspout. Yeah, or like a postal tube.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, that's some good stuff. DIY funnel. Yeah. The Egyptians apparently invented the bean bag and would be filled with dried beans or pebbles. Ew, pebbles.

Pebbles? You wouldn't run and jump on that, would you? No. You certainly wouldn't. Rice would be good, but you're heavy. Couldn't have it on the damp lawn. Oh, my God, you'd put it in the microwave. It'll be all warm.

Oh, my God, like a giant wheat sack. Like a big wheat sack. Like a big wheat sack. Huge giant wheat sack. And the ancient Egyptian microwave. That'd do it. Top six things easier than getting beanbag beans into a beanbag bag. Number six on the list, climbing Everest. More people have done it, guaranteed.

Much easier. More people have done it without having beans everywhere in your lounge for the foreseeable future. And then you just keep finding them. And they stick to things. They're, like, statically charged. That's why you never get them all out of the bag. Number five on the list of the top six things easier than getting beanbag beans

into a beanbag bag, doing the calculations to get humans to the moon. Yep. You can do it all on a computer now. You can't use a computer to get your beanbag balls into your beanbag bag. Much easier. Number four on the list of the top six things easier than getting beanbag beans into a beanbag bag, getting up out of a beanbag. Yeah.

Yeah, hard. It's actually hard. I do a roll. Especially in your 40s. Yeah. Oh, my God. Look at the photo Jared sent. There's beans everywhere on the carpet. Jeez.

It's a real bean fest. It's a bean disaster. And the vacuum never gets them. And then they never come out of the vacuum. Oh, God, yeah. That's why I don't have bean bags. I love a bean bag. Same.

Slopping into a bean bag. Oh, same. Would you at this stage like to get a free plug-in for the place that just sent you the giantest bean bags of all time? Yeah, Milo. I'm having a Milo moment. No, I won't have a free plug. I didn't get a free plug in for the place that just sent you the giantest beanbags of all time? Yeah, Milo. I'm having a Milo moment. No, I won't have a free plug. I didn't get a free beanbag. I'm going to do it. They sent me two of them, but they're not bean. They're foam-filled.

Foam-filled. Oh. It's going to work, and it's very heavy, and it's very large, and it's a lovely place for a sleep. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron's question was, where the hell are we going to put these? That's what my question... Sade always asks me that when I take things home. Where the hell are you going to put this? Amazing.

Number three on the list of the top six things easier than getting beanbag beans into a beanbag bag. Going to Bali and not telling everyone every chance you get. Oh, that feels somewhat pointed. How would you do that? I don't know. But how will people know? I don't know. But how do the beans get into the bag?

I guess you could get braids and then people could ask. Where'd you get your braids from? Bali. Fiji? They could think Fiji, though. You don't want that sort of mistake. Bali's so much better than Fiji. Maybe you want to do braids, bintang, singlet.

Yeah. And a new turtle tattoo. Yeah. Brilliant. That's it. Number two on the list of the top six things easy to get beanbag beans into a beanbag bag. Bake in the perfect sponge. Oh, yeah.

Hard to do. Fall in the middle. Yeah. You can do it. Dry. So easily dry. And number one on the list of the top six things easier than getting beanbag beans into a beanbag bag. Sleeping the whole night through.

Like not getting up for a wee or a drink. Or what time is it? Or in anything. You literally go to bed and you wake up. Oh, my God. How amazing would that be? That is just, just easier than the beanbag beans into the beanbag

bag. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I spent the weekend, well most of it, in the beautiful Wairarapa visiting my family. My brother was over from Melbourne with his beautiful partner Nina. How was Samuel Sproul

favourite of Patsy and Craig? Well, he put in the effort to go trans-Sazman, didn't he? Hell of a guy. Is he not the favourite? Low maintenance. He's a low maintenance child. He is low maintenance. So low maintenance, let's be honest. They like the low maintenance.

Yeah. Well, no, he's good. He's good. Thanks for asking. Says hello. Good. No, he doesn't. I's good. Thanks for asking. Good. Says hello. Yeah. Good. No, he doesn't. I was going to say that. Never met him. He doesn't listen. Nah.

Do you know what he said? Because they did a little roadie because his partner's from Napier. And they went down and said it was terrible, obviously. Yeah. And he said, oh, I tried to listen to you on the radio. And he switched stations. Son of a bitch Ouch I know

We've always been an honest family Anyway On the first night I got there We caught word of a quiz Oh yeah A quiz at the local RSA The Raza And I thought that'd be great

You thought I bet You thought I'm smarter than old people That's what you thought That's exactly what I thought There'll be a question about Especially

TikTok And they won't even know What the hell's going on Exactly I was like Pop culture Music Art That's what you thought. That's exactly what I thought. There'll be a question about TikTok and they won't even know what the hell's going on. Exactly. I was like, pop culture, music, art, that's where I'm at. My dad, very good with music and sports. Mum, good history buff. Yep. And my brother, I'm not

sure what he was bringing to the table, but just a good guy. Just a really all-round good guy. Just a good attitude. And I tell you, we got there and the Sprouse lifted their weight. For sure. And I tell you, we got there and the Sprouse lifted their weight. For sure, we pulled our weight. They got there and being the Featherston RSA. Yeah. Love

original RSA. Love them. The fish and chips. Yeah. There were like two massive pieces of fish. Like, you couldn't finish it, possibly. Did they do crab sticks? $4 handles?

No crab sticks. We were doing jugs. Jugs! What were they, $10 jugs? The only jugs that they had was export gold or maybe tui. Yeah, originally you'd think that's geographically, that's a tui jug. And how much was a jug, the Raza? I can't remember.

$10, $10 to our dogs? Yeah, $10 bucks, yeah, something like that. Wow. Good old prices. Yeah, good old prices. Good old prices for10 to our dogs? Yeah, $10 bucks, yeah, something like that. Wow. Good old prices. Good old prices for the good old boys. And then at 6 o'clock, you stand up. Yeah. When the sun goes down, we will remember them.

Oh, I know. Played the last post. Yeah. Do they do that every time at 6? Yeah. And then they do the meat raffle or the members raffle. If you're not there, you don't win. I don't know.

I love it. I love it. I love a Raza. there, you don't win. I don't know. I love it. I love it. I love it. Anyway, so we were there and then we were there for the quiz and it was all a fundraiser for the Cyclone people, people affected by the Cyclone. Yeah. So you had like a $15 entrance fee.

It was packed. I was like, this is great. And then the guy who was running the quiz was dry as a bone. And I was like, oh, how are we going to go with this? Didn't have a microphone. Yeah. Enter my brother, who's an audio engineer. And he goes, I'm just going to sort this out.

And so he gets a speaker and a microphone going, and everyone's like, woo, woo, woo. And then my dad, so my brother's like saved the day a bit. They start the quiz, but everyone's rowdy. Then my dad pulls out his big whistle. Oh, big whistle. Okay. Craig's got a mighty whistle on him.

Okay. I remember when my grandfather, his father, used to do a whistle. We would cry. It was so loud. Oh, I love this. That's my dad, right? I only dream of being able to whistle. You can do it.

You've got terrible tonguing technique. This guy's got no control over his tongue, but you'd be able to do it with your fingers. You put two fingers in. Curl your tongue back. Oh, my God loud no too many your fingers are in your mouth and you just roll your tongue back with them mine's pathetic your fingers are utterly covered in spit. It's not going to get any better the more you just keep spitting on them.

You can't do it. And now I'm light-headed. With the breathing, he can't blow up a balloon either. It's the whole situation. Little baby. It's his lungs, his tongues, and his fingers. You're missing all the things. He's terrible.

He spines a lot. Absolutely. Anyway, so my dad pulls out his whistle. Now, he's the room shusher. Great. And the emcee looks at him and he's like, holy hell, this table. My God. They dad pulls out his whistle. Now, he's the room shusher. Great. And the emcee looks at him and he's like, holy hell, this table. My God. They're really providing.

Yeah, and then the guy who runs the RSA, I know him, and he comes up to me, he's like, you wouldn't mind running the auction, would you? As somewhat of a celeb. All animals. Somewhat of a celebrity. Well, they've seen you on the TV doing the baking show, have they? Yeah, something like that.

I think they thought I was Melanie Bracewell. Anyway, so at halftime I ran the auction and I raised thousands. What were you auctioning off? Like some dog food was one. Great. A little night stay at a local Airbnb. Brilliant. Some car cleaning stuff.

Right. I want one of those from a local supplier. Just local businesses chipping in, which was awesome. And I, because I had grown up with my mum being a real estate agent, I'd seen a lot of auctions in my life. Right. And I was doing it. Oh, come on, Vaughan, you're going to let him have it for $10?

Give me $10 more. Yeah. You're not going to let this slide, are you? What? Give me $2.10. Give me $2.10 on the table. Next thing is you're going to be taking your missus $10? Give me $10 more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to let this slide, are you? What? Give me $2.10. Give me $2.10 on the table. Next thing is you're going to be taking your missus too. Yeah.

Oh, I love that. One's going twice sold. Emasculating a dude in front of a room full of people so he's got no choice but to spend more money. Yeah, what are you? A little bit. Anyway, it was a lot of fun doing that, but when it came to the quiz, we were confident.

We had it covered. We came second to last. Wait, I thought you were these big out-of-towners, being all smart. Big city slickers with their private educations. We came second to last. Oh, my. What were the questions like? They were like Trivial Pursuit Genius Edition.

Who was the captain of the 1974 Cricket World winning team and you're like i don't know and we'd had a few we'd had a few okay right i turned to my dad and he was singing oh he's not even uh he's not even answering what was the question and this mc was an old codger he said i will not repeat the questions good as well listen well he should have. Listen up. So we were chatty Cathy's enjoying the wines and we came second to last. Wow. Humbling. Yeah, really humbling actually. So great weekend.

Great way to raise money. And the Sprouse. Losers. We saved the day. Even though we are big losers. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe.

It is so silly, silly, silly that silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe. Silly little poe. Is that silly little poe? Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Did I say silly little boy? Silly little boy. Do you have your partner on Find My Friends or whatever your phone's equivalent is where you can see where their location is at any given time? Yeah, lots of different apps.

You don't have Aaron on there. No. Is it because... We enjoy our privacy. But you'd always be the one in trouble. Yeah. Why the hell are you here? Yeah.

Why are you at this bar? I'm not. I'm at a... I told you at a meeting. It's a work... It's an evening work meeting. I told you. I told you.

I told you. I told you. I told you yesterday. I told you. You move, I told. I told you? I told you yesterday. I told you. You move, I told. I told you. You've been told. Do you not listen to me?

You didn't. You were like 1 a.m. I mean, lots of practical reasons. Definitely. You want to know when they're coming home so you could have something ready. I do the Uber share your trip thing. Share your June. Sometimes.

I'll do Messenger like share location. When you're on your way. When you're on your way so they can. But why don't you and Charlie just have each other on fine friends?

How's he going to visit his mistress? My mistress and her shopping. I mean, there's two things we like to keep. Oh yeah,

so it works for both of you. Why are you a new market? Yeah. I'm just those are two things we like to keep Oh yeah, so it works for both of you Why are you a Newmarket? Yeah I'm just popping to Newmarket A 40 minute drive is not a pop. No, that's not a pop That's a journey. That's I'm travelling too I am taking a half day

to journey to Newmarket where I will spend a lot of time and money before re-journeying home Now, when are you journey to Newmarket where I will spend a lot of time and money before re-journeying home. Now, when are you going to put us

back on fine friends? I don't know. I'd like to know where you are at all times. Home. If I'm not here, I can almost guarantee

it'll be home. Yeah, but it's just that sometimes you say you're going to be 10 minutes and we'd like to see where you are on the motorway

and quite often you're still at home. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the thing. So Little Paul, do you have your partner on Find Friends? 22% of people said yes. 78% said no.

I honestly thought it would be more. Are you shocked by that? I honestly think a lot of people don't know how to use it. Like that's the only reason I don't have Aaron is because he doesn't know about it. Yeah, but he's a very rare... He can barely answer his phone. Yeah, he's not a very technical person, is he? Yeah.

No, he's not. Some feedback. Yvonne said, I have it on my partner so I know when he's coming home because I have to do the dishes and make it look like I've been productive during the day. And also to know when he's driving past McD's for my treat. Show sponsor. Because I've been so productive. Thank you. Thank you, Yvonne there.

Working in the show sponsor there. That was seamless. Show sponsor means he gets a show applause. Yeah. Kat, no. If it's a trust thing, I trust him 100%. He's cheating on you. Yeah.

I know Kat's boyfriend. I'm sleeping with him. I just want to put it out there. Yeah. I've had a hoon. Not for me, but I had a go. Had'm sleeping with him. I'm just going to put it out there. Yeah. I've had a hoon. Not for me, but I had a go. Had a go. All the while he was saying,

ha ha, she's got no idea where I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, shut up and make love to me. Are you putting that on the census? Have a hoon sometimes? Have a hoon. Sexuality. Have a hoon.

King for a hoon. Sometimes have a hoon. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes a hoon. Devil. If it's a I hope he's alive thing, he's most probably alive. And if he's not, find my friends, won't bring him back to life. Oh, Jesus. Sometimes a hoon. Dabble. If it's a I hope he's alive thing, he's most probably alive. And if he's not, find my friends, won't bring him back to life.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. I mean, you're right. It won't. But you'll be able to find his dead body so you can at least get to it before, I don't know, the bears. You don't want the bears to get it. You don't want the bears getting at it. There'll be nothing left.

Nothing left. Did you see, speaking of bears, Cocaine Bear had a massive opening weekend in the US. Oh, I can't wait to see it. It did really well. Apparently, like, yeah, I've not read a bad thing about it. Neither. Everyone's just like, what a fun, fun movie. And we got to meet Cocaine Beer on Friday.

Alan Henry. Yeah. He is the beer. Amazing. I'm excited. Sade had to ask me to stop talking about him on Friday. I've heard enough about your crush. Romance.

Give a bit of a crush. I was just like, he was every... We didn't talk about this on air. He told us off air. If you watch Avengers Infinity War, when they're trying to get the gauntlet off Thanos on the planet of Titan,

Spider-Man's there, Iron Man's there, Doctor Strange is there, Star-Lord's there. They're all trying to get it. He reshot it and played everybody. I know.

And they did the motion capture and then put Benedict on him. Yeah then put Benedict on him. Yeah, put Benedict on him. You've got a real crush on this guy. That's like one of the coolest scenes and he did it. Yeah, he did it all.

Put that on your census. I'd have a hoon. Have a hoon. I'd have a hoon. Have a hoon on cocaine beer. Michael says, I do have my partner on Fine Friends. It helps me gauge

when to start cooking dinner or just continue being lazy on the couch watching Friends there's so much new shows out there you don't really watch Friends again

I reckon seven times is enough yeah my wife called me once while I was at work saying she was lost on a walk with the kids I looked at Fine Friends

and I was able to guide her back to where she could find her way back to the car it's for her safety to where she could find her way back to the car. Oh, wow. It's for her safety. So if she had reception, though, she could have just Google Maps'd herself. Yeah.

Okay. You're married to a dum-dum there. Yeah, she's weaponised her incompetence there. You've got a real dum-dum on your hands there, Gareth. Good luck to you. She's taking children into the bush. Yeah. I wouldn't allow it.

She's too much of a dum-dum. Emily says he goes out on long runs and bike rides and it's nice knowing where he is in case anything bad happens. Yeah, sure he does. Stops at the local pub for 30 minutes. Yeah. Oh, that just must be a glitch. I'm definitely still cycling.

Must be stretching. Yeah. Yeah. Rebecca said, yes, only on his work phone, so I know where he is time, dinner, etc, but not on his personal phone. Two phones, eh? I know, whenever I see someone with

two phones, I'm always like, what are you doing? It's not the year 2004, you don't need one telecom, one Vodafone. Make the most of free text weekends, but also make the most of $2 Tuesdays. We've got more feedback. Juliet says, he's a rugby lad, loves going out.

He then rings me so I can pick him up, but he never tells me where from. And then I cannot get hold of him. It's the only way to find him. Juliet, sounds like you're married to a piece of shit. Come and pick me up. Bye. Where are you? married to a piece of shit. Come and pick me up. Bye. Where are you?

I'm not answering my phone. Rugger, rugger, rugger. Rugby, rugby, rugby. Jeez Louise, that is worrying. And Tay said, I have my entire family, but my husband who refuses to use it, he's the one I need the most though because most of his working week

is spent travelling around the country. Sure it is. He's got a second family by the sounds of it. All these people having his affairs. He's probably having a hoon on Kat's boyfriend as well. Yeah, yeah, having a hoon. Everyone was there. It was wild.

Oh, my gosh. I would just turn off. This is why you've got to have your partner on Fine Friends. Have it on. Otherwise, everyone. Just having a hoon. Having a hoon. Play. ZM's F've got to have your partner on. Have it on. Otherwise, everyone. Just having a hoon. Having a hoon.

Carween, our producer popped down to Hawke's Bay at the weekend. Catch up with a lovely Catherine. I fired to rank my Joneses. I'm Catherine above Carween. Really? Wow. Rank show mums. That's fair enough.

I wouldn't dare rank show mothers. I could really throw a cat amongst the pigeons there. Mine would have to be number one because she's my mother of course.

Yeah. But you know deep down she's your mum. But then number two I want to put Shanalette Pajamas' mum at number two because she's

Miss Hot Legs Australia. Yeah. I've never met her but you know I like what I But then You'd go over bed and patsy

because of hot legs well then third I I said this is where I'm not I don't even want to delve into it I think my mum can

challenge your mum to her legs off well let's see them I saw them the other day and I said to her how are you in your 60s you don't have any cellulite she pulled her pants down

and showed me her bum no cellulite well not the issue with cellulite I'm covered in this stuff no no but her bum. No cellulite? Well, not the issue with cellulite. I'm covered in this stuff. No, no, but that's what... She's just got these, like, smoothie pins. You know why?

But she's been a Les Mills pumper since, like, it started. Squats. Dropping squats her whole life. Yeah, and that thing you just told us before. Private. Private, exactly. But acknowledged. Patsy Sproul. So you popped down to see your exactly. But acknowledged. Wow.

Patsy Sproul. So you popped down to see your mum. I did. And what did you forget to bring back to Auckland? Look, it's nothing important. Just my keys. To everything. To your house, to your car.

To that silly steering wheel lock thing you put on your car. Yeah, so look, when my mum called me being like, you've left your keys, I was like, oh, we're all good. I've got spares, I've got a spare car key, we're all good. Then I realised, oh, my anti-theft steering wheel lock only has one key. Why do you have an

anti-theft steering wheel lock? Guys, my car has been stolen in the past. Yeah, I know, but lightning But you could have knew it. Lightning never strikes twice. It does. Maureen Pugh's been hit three times. Oh, shoot. And it's left some questionable

outlooks on life. Look, the last time it was stolen was the one night that I didn't put the lock on. So now it feels like a jinx. But don't you have the... The aqua would have anti-theft immobilizers. No.

Well, my new one does because I put it in. But they don't come with them. Well, don't you have the... The Acquire would have anti-theft immobilizers. No. Well, my new one does because I put it in, but they don't come with them. Well, don't bother then. If you've got an immobilizer now... Look, I was away for the weekend. You never know. People are around. People are thieving.

People, eh? Especially the Acquires. They are the top stolen car. So why have you only got one key for the steering wheel lock? Because it's like an old one that my mum had and I just took hers. Yeah, but you didn't think, oh, I better get a spare key cut, like for $5? Do you know how much they cost? They're not $5.

No, they're not. Is it one of those round ones? It's like, yeah, spiky. Yeah. And four ways. Yeah. What? Yeah.

A spiky four-way key? Yeah, because I tried to pick the lock from a youtube tutorial did you use a hairpin because that usually does it i tried a bunch of things but because it's four ways you can't just get a key right okay so how did you get here you've had it you've had one of these before fletch how did you manage uh i just had you i managed i got a new key cut A new key cut For that But it is difficult They're going every way

Every way you look There's someone There's a lot to manage You don't want one side feeling left out But there's inevitably There's going to be an imbalance If you can balance all four, then you open the lock.

Then you open the lock and you can drive the aqua. Yeah. So you borrowed your boyfriend's car. I did. How's he getting around today? Well, thankfully he has today and tomorrow off because he works the weekend. So I'm just going to take his car. And then what?

Well, hopefully today mum's going to pop my keys in the post on an overnight. Oh, okay. But I've heard the overnight's more like four days. At the moment, yeah. From Hawke's Bay to Auckland. Look, if anyone's getting on a flight from Napier to Auckland, let me know. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah.

I'd just tell mum to go to the airport and give an envelope to a stranger and say, hey, could you just take this to Auckland? Yeah, here's my Gordon's details. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. That's all right. I can walk. Good luck with that. I want to pick you up and drop you off.

Well, I offered to come around and cut the steering wheel off with an angle grinder. Yeah. The steering wheel lock. And she was like, oh, no, don't do that. Well, we'll see. Okay. We'll see. Those services may be required. See, I'd come and watch that. That sounds fun. I'm chom, don't do that. Well, we'll see. Okay. We'll see.

Those services may be required. See, I'd come and watch that. That sounds fun. I'm chomping it. I'm absolutely chomping it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There was a guy in the UK, I believe, who was dating a lady. So this is a heterosexual setup.

Okay. But we're open to all relationships here, as we've mentioned quite a lot during this show. Yeah. And he made a bit of a discovery of his girlfriend. It's gross. I saw the photo and I was like, bleh. Oh, my God. I can't look.

So his girlfriend has bad eyes and she wears contact lenses. Okay. Now... You make it sound like that's like a bad thing. Ooh, she's got bad eyes. Yeah. Get LASIK, honey. Okay. Now... You make it sound like that's like a bad thing. Ooh, she's got bad eyes. Yeah. Get LASIK, honey. Yeah.

No, no, no, that's not the bad thing. She wears contact lenses. Also fine. Great. Yeah. Life-changing for some. But instead of putting them in the bin at the end of the day, she takes them...

I know, I've seen people do this and I'm like... She takes them out and flicks them on the floor behind the bed. Yeah, and so there's this part. Have you seen the photo? No. Look at the photo. It is, hey. Like, I would say 50 to 100.

100 gross disposed contact lenses. He's pulled the beard out, hasn't he? Yeah. And so they've all kind of accumulated on the skirting board and on the floor. That's just grim. It looks like kind of barnacles or something is kind of like growing. All these blue, yeah, kind of little half

deflated cups. Would they dry out before they went mouldy? They'd dry out. But then if the home was damp they'd probably have this kind of slimyness. So they're just disposable, like daily ones, right? Not the ones you'd soak. They haven't shriveled up.

I would have thought they would have shriveled up, but they're actually quite, like they look like they're growing. Isn't that gross? Everyone was like, yuck, man. Oh, I can't look at the picture anymore. It's quite yuck. It's really, really gross. So I wanted to know, what's the grotty,

manky thing that your partner does? That thing that you're like, oh man. Or maybe you've made a discovery. Like it's not a daily thing, you've just discovered that they keep up

all of their hair. Do we know what this girl looks like? No, we don't have a photo of her. But I'm going to say manky. Imagine that you start a relationship

and you're six months or a year in, you're like, she's perfect in every way. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Or could you just say, hey, that's a bit yuck. It's a bit yuck, yeah. But then you find this out.

Can you put those in the bin? But that's what you say, right? No, that's not how this conversation goes. No, no, no. If there was like a couple on the floor, you'd be like, dude, don't flick them on the ground, put them in the bin. There's hundreds. No, you do this thing.

You go, how did these all get here? Oh, I just chucked them down there. Oh, do you? And make them feel like, really? Why don't you just put them in the bin? That's unusual. I'm already in bed when I take them out. Yeah, you don't get aggressive.

You get like, I would have thought though that's a clean your teeth, take your contacts out. And then, you know, you've got a bin in the bathroom where you flush them. Yeah. Nope. Flick them on the floor and let them accumulate into a manky pile behind the bed.

Lots of hair as well behind the bed. Yeah, or the dust and everything. Yeah, it just accumulates. Right. So you want to know if there's a habit that you've found your partner doing or maybe you've got a gross habit

and you'd like to own up to that. Yeah. I've got heaps, but I don't know. I don't know if I've got a gross habit. I don't think Aaron knows that I pick my nose, roll it up between my fingers and then flick it anywhere and anyway. Out the window of the car maybe, but not just inside. You go to the window, do you flick it out the window?

You just flick it. What's the sink like underneath? I'll flick it out. In the rinky dink? Flick it. So stinky dink. I was driving to work this morning like, what have I done to this vehicle? Smashed screen. It is bad. It's a stinky dink. There's something dying in there. It's not your accumulation of boogers? It's whatever came into the car to eat the accumulation of boogers. Because it was surviving on nothing but boogers.

I am so lucky to be in a long-term relationship. I am grotty. I'm gross. You are this woman that puts... I'm this person. You are this person. Glass houses. Yeah.

I'm throwing stones. All right, well, we want to take your calls. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. We want to know the calls. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. We want to know the ooh thing your partner does because there is a guy who made a discovery behind his bed. Ooh. The photo's disgusting.

That his girlfriend has just like takes out her contact lenses and flicks them on the floor and they've all like created a mountain. Everyone's vomiting. No, I just read a text and it's made me like. Oh no. Time, time, time. We've asked for this. We asked for this. Yeah, I just read a text and it made me like... Oh, no! Time, time, time. We've asked for this. Yeah, we have, we have.

Anyway, so we were doing a bit of a pile-on on this manky woman in the UK. Turns out there's one amongst us that does this very thing. New to the show, Chanelette Pajamas. Shannon, what?

You take out your contact lenses and put them down the side of the bed? Yeah, absolutely. Every night. I didn't know it was gross. And then you guys started piling in. Eating a packet of chips and then just stuffing the chip packet

down the side of the bed. So I'm legally blind without my contacts. And so if I took them out anywhere else, I'm full gas falling over. Just have a feel around to bed. Why don't you get a little itty bitty bin beside the bed? I mean, I could, listen.

I just didn't know it was gross. They're cute as hell. They dry up very quickly. And so just when I vacuum, I could, listen. I just didn't know it was gross. They're cute as hell. They dry up very quickly. And so just when I vacuum, I just vacuum a little harder over there. I don't like it. I didn't know

this was gross. It is gross. It is gross. Get her a bin. We're going to get her a bin. We'll buy her a bin. It is gross. Jenna.

There's one here for the desk. Oh, that's expensive. Jenna, did you have a problem with an X in contact lenses? Oh, it was so gross. And Shannon, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

She's been reprimanded. Yeah. Like, seriously, it must have been months worth. We broke up, and I was moving my bedroom around, and I had this really cool, like, old-school wooden chest. Yeah. You know, like a 21st, like, glory box chest. Yeah. You know, like a 21st Glory Box chest. And I moved it, and behind it was like hundreds and thousands, I swear to God.

It looked like shards of glass. And because they were so dry, if you brushed over it with your hands, it would just crack. Then the stuff would still stick to the wall. Oh, yuck. Yuck. I had to go and get like a, one of those scraper things that like, plaster it and stuff. Oh, wow.

Are you hearing this, Shannon? Are you hearing this? Yeah, great. Does it sound gross? Yeah, it does, isn't it? It's gross. I'm so sorry you had to do that. Oh, it's got eye juices

on my walls. Oh, yuck. Yuck. That's the eye juice for me. It's so gross. Amazing. Gina, yuck. Yuck. That's the eye juice for me. It's all right. Oh, God. Amazing. Gina, thank you.

Keep your texts coming in, 9696. Or don't. Or don't. We could bail on it. It's gross. We've got a few to read out next. We're talking about the grossest things that you've caught your partner doing after a woman found hundreds of contacts.

No, he found a woman's contacts. He was the man. The woman was the man. Sorry, we just spoke to the woman that found her exes. Yeah. Somebody else said, I do that with my contacts too, but my dog runs in and eats them.

Oh, yuck. You're feeding your dog little bits of plastic every day. That's bad ownership. Could kind of accumulate too and stop them living. Could. Stop them living. Kill them. Plastic famously great at stopping animals living. I'm nervous

because we've got Emma on the phone who texts in. We don't talk to Emma. Now, if you've been hearing Vaughn gagging in the background. It's the text that Emma sent in that made me nearly be sick. Good morning, Emma. I've got a wicked constitution. Good morning. No, you don't. You've got a terrible gag reflex. I've got a great constitution once I start gagging them over.

Now, Emma, what is the gross thing? I honestly don't know if we do it. This isn't some, like, wacky, I'm going to say no and he's going to say yes. And honestly, we'll make people feel sad. Someone could be driving now and they could vomit. Okay, well, we've given a warning. Emma, can you sugarcoat this in any way? What did you find your partner doing?

Okay, so I have been with him for nearly four years. Yeah, I break up with him. Love this man to pieces. Absolutely do. However. I'm not listening. He does this one thing. And, okay, on a technicality,

it was because he got really, really sick from COVID last year. So I give him a little bit of leeway. However, he does this thing where he coughs up, like, phlegm, mucus. He stores it in an empty cup or an empty drink bottle, and he'll let it sit there until it gets to like a halfway point and then he will burp it. But it'll sit on the desk for days. Oh, that is man-gaming.

Oh, calm down. It's not that bad. It's so gross. It is so gross. No, it's worse if you watch him do it. No! Because then it just sits there. It's so gross. It is so gross. No, it's worse if you watch him do it. No! Because then it just sits there. It's so gross.

Emma, Emma, get it back on Tinder. Why can't he just spit it out somewhere or get some tissues? Well, sometimes he spits it out into the window, but other times he spits it out in bed and he'll have a low brain. Oh, boy, and stopping a drama queen. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard. He collects his lamb in a little cup. Is that like it works?

What? He does it in bed, so he'll just be sat there and the next thing I hear, I'm just passed in another chair like a little spit. Bourne sits beside their marital bed. That's divorce. Bourne, calm down. You've got to break up with this guy. Someone messaged him.

They literally had just had a little spew on the side of the road. Vaughn's crying. That's so gross. Emma, thank you. That's so, so gross. Thank you for sharing. People are tuning out of the radio station. People are literally tuning off.

They said, message me back when you're finished. Come back. Someone said, I me back when you're finished. Come back. Someone said, I'm in the early stages of pregnancy. My morning sickness in that story has led to vomit. Oh, my God. Vaughan, you're making it so much worse. A funny story just came in about diarrhea. Diarrhea doesn't make me feel sick.

There's something about it. Can you read the diarrhea one? It's so good. Diarrhea. Diarrhea doesn't make me feel sick. There's something about it. It keeps it. Can you read the diarrhea one? It's so good. My husband kept farting one night. Oh, my God. Stop being a drama queen. You know what my gag reflex is like. I know you've got a terrible gag reflex.

You more than anybody should know I've got a terrible gag reflex. Put that in the census. Yeah. Once I start, I can't stop. Sexual preference. I can't. I've got a terrible gag. Put that in the census. Yeah. Once I start, I can't stop. Sexual preference. I can't. I've got a terrible gag. Definitely straight.

Definitely straight. Like, unfortunately straight. My husband kept farting one night after Pizza Hut. Now, I don't know why they've been dragged into this, but they have been. My husband kept farting one night after Pizza Hut. And then he had a super weird sounding fart. And I flicked the light on and he had grey trackies filled with diarrhea.

You are with a grown man who shats pants. And a grey trackie, the hottest thing. Hey, welcome back, everyone. We're done. We're done with that. I need to get to the bottom of this. I was driving yesterday from the airport to marching training. I had my friend and coach in the car with me

because she was on a flight as well. We were heading to marching. She got out of the car, I don't know, marching, and I got back in the car at the end of marching and saw this thing like rolling around the bottom of the passenger well and it's this red stick that is all in, I want to say Chinese, like Mandarin maybe. I don't know.

Japanese? It looks like Japanese. No, it's too busy for Japanese. It's too busy for Japanese. No, Japanese has more simple characters. I don't know. We can do that thing. Oh, Google Translate.

I've got the Google Translate app. Amazing. It is Japanese. If you've never used Google Translate, there's a... Oh, but I don't know if I've got those languages

installed. Would I need to have the language installed? Get them installed, Dolores. Well, I'm... Anyway. Or do you think it, what one are we, or should we try? Yeah, see that bit looks like Japanese. I'll just go detect

language. Yeah, detect language. Okay, I'm going to hold it at this. Fletch is now holding the Google Translate to part of the mystery item. Japanese. It is. Japanese. Oh, no, hang on. It's going Japanese to Spanish. Let me go to English. So it's Japanese. I beg, it's going Japanese to Spanish. Let me go to English.

So it's Japanese. I beg your pardon to our Japanese listeners. I said the characters looked Chinese. Not busy enough. No, it says don't turn a blind eye when you do. Attach. Don't. Oh, my God, it's a flare.

So why? It is a flare. So why? It is a flare. What does that say? What is that word? Fascinating. Usage. It's upside down on the cap. Yeah, don't do it upside down because it's a flare.

It'll burn you. So why is there a flare? Well, when it rolled out, I thought someone's left a bomb in my car. Because it looks like it's bright red. They're trying to take out New Zealand's hottest entertainer. Someone's coming for my jobs. I get it.

You've got a new season of Hottest Home Baker. Great Kiwi Bake Off. Yeah, that's what it's called. Big fan are you? Big fan of my work. Watch it all the time. Yeah, right. And they want your job. Why is there a flare in my car? Because then I text my friend who was in my car and I said

did you leave this in my car? She was like no. And I asked Aaron. It could be part of your like roadside whoopsies if you break down. But where's it come from? It just was in the well. It would have. It must have been under the seat became dislodged. You know, like, Europeans love one of those road breakdown triangles in a flea.

Oh, my God. They love it. They love it. The Germans love the little triangle. Oh, what's it there? It's broken down on the side of the road. Quick, Hans. Quick, get the emergency triangle.

I've always wanted to put up the emergency triangle, but we drive such reliable vehicles, don't we? All right, Hans! Quick, let me do the triangle. Let me do the triangle. I've always wanted to put up an emergency triangle. Why is your German so gay? Because we're two very excited German men. On the way to German Mardi Gras, no one parties like the Germans.

Yeah. I put up the little triangle, you naughty boy. You put up the little triangle. I put up your triangle. Oh. Let's put up the triangle and then while we wait, we put up each other's triangles. My triangle is so old. All this

talk of triangles has got me very horny. I'm simply a must have little nibble on your sausage. Is this a new character? This is a new character. He's very easily aroused German. Yeah. What is a new character. Gay Germans are now on the side of the road. He's a very easily aroused German. Yeah.

What is that? Is that a pretzel? It reminds me of my lover Hans. I simply must have a little nibble. Is that a flare in your pocket?

So are you pleased to see me? As much as I'd love to hear more from the gay Germans that have broken down on the side of the road, we have had a message.

They actually don't like, they don't put a label on it. Oh, they don't. They're just so easily aroused, basically anything gets them off. Anything gets them off. Well, we've had a message in saying that a lot of the Japanese import cars have them attached by two clips on the left-hand side of the car. Your clips are broken. Do you think under the seat, are they clipped under the seat?

Yeah, must be. Or onto the side somewhere. Yeah. Or under the seat? Are they clipped under the seat? They must be. Or onto the side somewhere. Yeah. Or under the glove box maybe? Yeah. And it must have fallen off. Yeah, it must have. Someone messaged in, eye rolling.

Okay, just because you know a little bit more about Japanese imports than us, don't come down from your ivory tower and explain it to us without the condescension. Yeah. Eyes rolling. Every Japanese car comes out with one. They usually are taken out at compliance when getting registered as a New Zealand car. So you're saying we could have Wayne... We can't be trusted with flares.

No, we can't. We're a bunch of bloody larrikins. We're too drunk. Well, this is the thing now that I've got it. Oh my God, we have to let that off. I want to twist it. Don't twist it in here. No, definitely not in here.

Those things will burn a hole in anything. Resident Chicken. Back. Resident Chicken. JP. Who's that? It's a scaredy cat. Do you know that sometimes when I see a scaredy cat,

I get a little bit of... Or hums. Or hums. I simply must have a little nibble. It's totally illegal to set off flares for no reason. Wait, wait, wait. Are you quoting the law? It's like totally illegal.

Totally illegal. Wait, what? What? And when they are set off, unnecessary emergency staff are deployed to make sure there is nothing amiss. No, no, no. You're talking about the gun in the air flares. Yeah, those marine flares.

No, this is like hold it by the handle flare. I want to twist it. We could just set it off out there and that's okay, isn't it? Where are you getting this legal advice from? The Otago Daily Times. Police issued a warning of the flares. Yeah, but that's flares in the

ocean, in the sky. Emergency flares. Those things are crazy. This is pretty much a Roman candle, but like on the ground. Oh, is this chill? Talk about some Roman candles and flares. Get your hair down. I can see it. I must have a little new one.

I vote we let it off outside What if I crash my car And I'm down a ravine Oh yes Tell me more About your emergency situation What

And I'm lost Wait you're down a ravine You're lost Oh my gosh It's dark Have you got Your little emergency triangle hands No

Because I let it off With my friends Don't let off The emergency triangle I'm going to let it off with my friends. Don't let off the emergency triangle. I'm going to let it off. Don't light it inside. Somebody message. That sounds like someone who's lost the house.

Yeah. So we're not letting it off? I don't want to let it off because I think Hans is going to get him too fizzy. You know what I see? Bright light. I can't help myself. I can't get a stirring in my Balvarians. Yeah, we're going to let it off.

I'm going to let it off. Let's wrap up this radio show. This is good. And then we'll let it off. This is good. Next on the show are mine. I must have a little nibble. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

I'll tell you what the Fun Police have messaged in with a warning about this flare that you found in your car. It's expired. Yeah, so I just used Google Translate and the expiry date of that flare is 21. That's not too... It's still fresh. It's not...

But it's not a packet of biscuits. I was going to say, it's not a packet of chips. Why is there a picture of a little man Wearing a hard hat Crossed out Like why is the little man in a hard hat Not allowed to use it He should use it more than I should use it

He might be It's heavy Do you just throw that in the bin It's heavy like it's got a nice grip You throw it in the bin? It's heavy. Like, it's got a nice grip, you know? Yeah. You throw it in the bin, the rubber strut comes, tips it and then uses its crushy thing. I know.

I wouldn't put anything flavourful in there. Bury it in a hole? No, the only way is to ignite it after work. I want nothing to do with this. Nothing to do with this. I also would like to, at this stage, say that I had no idea about Nazis making gay men in World War II wear pink triangles.

Did they? Apparently so. I'm learning. The pink triangle has been reclaimed. Right. And I am learning more in Pride Month. What a great time to learn these historical things. I think your character needs some work.

Nobody says the character was perfect. All this talk about imperfections has got to be quite random. Anyway, enough of that. That can be put just to the side for the moment. Because millennials are dishing out advice, baby. What do they know? Exactly, they're children. I'm a millennial.

And we're children. Should you be dishing out advice? No. That first time you're like looking around for an adult and you realise you are the adult. Or someone says, ask the lady, and you realise you're the lady. Ask the lovely old lady. So this has become a trend online with millennials dishing out advice

for Gen Zers? Younger? Anyone younger. Anyone younger. Is it a shut up and stop harping on? That's my word to Gen Z is. Younger. Anyone younger. Anyone younger. Maybe just. Shut up and stop harping on. That's my word to Gen Z. Yeah. Yeah.

Pick up a bloody tool, you know. Yeah. Mow a lawn. Yeah. Yeah, bloody. Yeah. TikTok. Put your phone down.

Learn how to actually dance. Like you're on your phone just as much. We're on our phones more. Yeah. We were there for the creation though. You've had it all along. Here are some of the pieces of advice from older millennials. Take care of your hearing.

35. That's too late for you too. Someone said I'm 35 and it's definitely, it's already fading. Yeah. Too late for me. Someone said don't think you're just going to be able to carry on like this forever. Totally. You think about everything you do in your 20s, and then it hits a little bit harder when you hit your 30s,

and then you hit your 40s, and it's like, yeah. Oh, hangovers are harder, aren't they? They last a few days. I stayed too long for a job in my 20s just because it was safe and easy, and I was told by management constantly how lucky I was to have a job. I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up getting a 50% pay boost. Gorgeous. So, you know, just don't, just, yeah, put yourself out there.

Someone said, don't just think one day you'll be able to quit smoking because it's hard. You're addicted to it. Your body becomes like reliant on it. So it's not as easy as you think it's going to be one day. Just like when I turn 30, I'll just stop. You're going to transition out of the hard ciggies to the menti-minthols.

Menti-minthols. Yeah. A bit of a grape vape. Then you hit the grape vape. Yeah. Then you're out of there. And away you go. Aren't you just hooked on the grape vape?

Yeah, but, yeah. What about the gum? It's so grapey and delicious. Are people still doing the gum? Nicorette. Some people, I think. Was it the nicotine gum? Yeah.

Win yourself off it that way? Yeah. Take care of your back. Lift with your knees. Ohorette. Some people I think. Was it the nicotine gum? Yeah. Win yourself off it that way. Yeah. Take care of your back. Lift with your knees. Oh yeah. It's great because one day you'll hurt your back and you'll be like, oh no, this will come right. It always does. And it just doesn't. But does the next one take care of your knees? Use your back? No.

Somebody said I wish I'd spent more time with my dad. Well, I had the chance. Something you realise as you start to get a bit older. Ring your grandparents. Yes. How? Yeah, all of mine are dead. Deb Weber.

She could get, she could put you straight in touch with Edith. We'd get bloody old. Especially if you tell her you want to talk to Edith the minute you walk in. Yeah, yeah.

Then she'll just go straight to it. Oh, Crookie could probably get you on the line. Yeah. Get you on the blower. Yeah. G'd on the blower. Yeah. G'day, Gramps.

I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body. And now it's taking longer to bounce back from things. Yeah. Not me. Peak physical fitness at the moment. I wish I'd paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity. So that's somebody who's like, I wish I had more money and I'd had more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity.

So that's somebody who's like, I wish I had more money and I'd had more sex, basically. Yeah, right. That's awesome. You get down, mate, love. Someone said, not wearing sunscreen. Big mistake. I'm in my late 30s and I'm having multiple bits and pieces cut out of me.

Yeah. Always wear your sunscreen. Thinking that I'll have time to do everything. And then time just passes you by. So actually do it, just don't think you're going to be able to do it. I thought these were going to be dumb. They're quite sage.

Yeah. A lot of sage advice here from the late 30s, early 40s. It's hard to hold on to friends. So put some effort into maintaining them. Then you get to a certain age where you're like, I've got way too many of these. Yeah. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Quality over quantity. Absolutely. Always ask for more pay. Starting yearly before leaving, whatever. You've got to get that money. Yeah. Always. Constantly.

So you get it and then you go more. I want you to know that I want more. Here's a bit more. Thank you. And I want you to know I'm coming back for more. Somebody said, it's way harder to. Thank you and I want you to know I'm coming back for more. Somebody said, it's way harder to get fit and healthy

the older you get. Trust me, I've tried. It's very hard and don't stay in a relationship after you're done. So you're going to miss

your prime years. Yeah. If you just let your 30s go sitting in a relationship that you're not really into. Wow, that was awesome. I'm going to go to Ross, ask for more money.

I'm going to leave Aaron, even though I like him a lot. Yeah. And I'll wear sunscreen. Hit the sunscreen. It's too late. Get big on the sunscreen. It's too late. And it's harder to bounce back.

It's really hard. I gave up on that long ago. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about mayonnaise. Yum. Because I was like, at the weekend, I was like, why is it called mayonnaise? Oh my God, thank you, because that's on my, I've got to buy some Kewpie mayo.

I'm literally writing a grocery list. Yes, Kewpie mayo. Oh, I'm Best Foods. Because of the comedy. Because they sponsor the comedy. Yeah. But do you, when it's not the Best Foods Comedy Gala, do you have Kewpie mayo? I have both.

What is Kewpie Mae? Kewpie Mae is very sweet, eh? Yeah, but it doesn't have that much sugar in it. What's it sweetened with? Little Japanese babies. Fat little Japanese babies are in it. Fat little babies. It's so yummy.

And I like the thin squirt. Yeah, and it's got a little squirter on it. You just go, ch-ch-ch-ch. Yeah. It's so yum, eh? And I like the thin squirt. Yeah, and it's got a little squirter on it. You just go... Yeah, it's so good. What's the difference between Kupo mayonnaise and American mayonnaise? Well, American mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kupo mayonnaise incorporates yolks, and yolks alone for the yellow colour. Creamy. An almost

custody texture, and distinctly rich, and fatty mouthfeel. Yeah. All this talk about the fatty mouthfeel. Is this talk about the Fatty Mouthfeel? There's got to be a browse. Oh, and I need a broccoli. Oh, my God. Broccoli's on my list.

What have you got? What are they rocking at the moment for a brock? They're knocking on the door of $5. That's taking the purse. Get some frozen florets. Get the frozen broccoli. That doesn't work for me. What are you using it for?

Stir fry. No, I'm having it with like, I have it with some chicken. Just plain raw. Yeah, I'll do a steamed brock. And you can't do that with a frozen. No, it's not the same. It's not the same. So what would be your bet?

It's not the same. You could stir fry a frozen. You could do that for a frozen, absolutely. Yeah. Soup. You want it raw. Look at this guy over here. Old Uncle Moneybags with his $5 head of broccoli. Just chopping it up. Chopping it up. frozen absolutely yeah so you you want to roar look at this guy over here old uncle money bags

with his five dollar head of broccoli chopping it up chopping it up betty doesn't roast the stalk great the stalk great the stalk great the stalk great the stalk on a salad yeah it's a great bit of salad salad fodder i mean it's five dollars Yeah, you've got to make the most of your broccoli. You've got to get into that store. Yeah, you can roast them. You can like take the top off, right, and just roast them. Really good for you. Well, no, we're talking about mayonnaise.

And covering Kewpie mayonnaise. So the first use of the word mayonnaise is by Adrian Viard, French. Yeah. And it is literally the word mayonnaise means a cold magonaze which

is egg and oil. Right. That's what mayonnaise means. It comes from the words egg and oil. Cold egg and oil. Yeah. Okay. Egg and oil. Right. That's what mayonnaise means. It comes from the words egg and oil. Cold egg and oil. Yeah. Okay. Egg and oil. I learnt French.

Egg is oeuf. Okay, it's not egg and oil. Yeah. I remember oeuf. Oeuf is egg. O-E-U-F. Now, it's weird because I read this last night on Wikipedia and it seems between now and then the Wikipedia page has been edited.

Maybe because it was brought to the attention because initially I found this fact on Reddit. Right. And then some hot attention was focused on mayonnaise. Some hot attention was focused on it and it may have changed. Because oil is oil. Oil.

And egg is oof. Oh, so you're wrong. This is fact of the day. It's wrong. Fact of the day Oeuf oeuf Oeuf oeuf Oeuf oeuf Oeuf oeuf

Wow, this is embarrassing Origins of the word mayonnaise We've shown you up Mayonnaise I demand a fact You've got to tell me a fact It's Okay

It's the feminine of Mahona Which is of the port of Mahan The capital of Menorca Mall is of the port of Mahan, the capital of Menorca. Menorca. Menorca, yeah. It's not Majorca. It's not the one with the J in it.

It's the N. They say, going to Mallorca. Yeah, they say that. I'm off to Mallorca. I'm off to Mallorca for my stag do. Yeah. So it was brought back to France from the port of Mahan. So the mayonnaise, the word mayonnaise, a complete change from when I read this 12 hours ago. It's actually named after where it was from, of the port Mahon.

Mayonnaise. And then they feminized it. Gave it a little hat. Why do you think they feminised the sauce? Because the women are saucy Saucy woman From the port of Mahan So today's fact of the day

Complete 180 But we've landed on the correct answer Which is what we aim for here at fact of the day Is that mayonnaise gets its name off from the port of Mahan Where it is from Fact of the day Day, day, day, day, day. A couple have gone viral on TikTok for a hack, a travel hack.

And you may remember it was at the end of last year, the hack where, and it's been around for a while, if you book the aisle seat and the window seat, if there's a row of three, the chances that someone will go in the middle are low. Yeah, but if it's a full flight, which a lot of them are these days. Then you're going to have a random between you and your partner, you and your loved one, or you and a friend. I know. A bit weird.

Would be. Well, this travel hack goes one step further, where this woman's boyfriend gets a blanket and pretends to have a baby in the hope that somebody, and I don't know any airline, maybe is there. It's not like the movies used to be. No, I know. I think there's, is it Southwestern America?

They do a, any seat, pick any seat. Ryanair does it too. Do they? Don't they? That's madness. I've been on Ryanair once. I can't remember if I picked a seat or it was allocated. It's one of those like cheap British ones.

Right. Like Ryanair or EasyJet or whatever. And it's like, you pick your own seat. But if it's allocated, this hack wouldn't work because he pretends to be, do you say swaddling? Yeah, swaddling. Yeah, swaddling a blanket like it's a baby. Yeah, right.

So they don't want to sit next to it. Yeah, or the hope that even if someone's allocated that seat, they say to the flight attendant, can I have another seat? I don't want to sit next to a baby. Yeah. In between two strangers. But it would backfire on you when you get like a chatty, like Margaret. Margaret, oh, I love a baby.

Here's a cuddle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And they're like, where's your baby? Because, you know, my mum does it on planes. Really? Takes people's babies. Takes people's babies.

People with babies, when they've got like other kids though, sometimes they're just like, oh, my my god I'll give their baby to anybody Yeah totally Just hold this baby Yeah and like If you're my mum And there's no signs Of grandparents on the horizon

Any chance to have a little Cuddle with a baby A sweet little baby A little sniff She'll do it Yeah a little sniff of the head Yeah For me it smells quite like

Flaky dry skin I don't get this niceness It smells like dry Yeah Like you need a lotion up Baby For me, it smells quite like flaky dry skin. I don't get this niceness. It smells like dry. Yeah. Like you need to lotion up, baby. Never sniffed anybody else's baby. I've only ever sniffed my babies.

No, you've got to sniff babies. I've never sniffed a baby. You've never sniffed a baby. There is a smell. It doesn't appeal to me. It's a milky. But no baby's ever going to compare to your own baby when it comes to sniffing the baby. Yeah, right. You know, like I've sniff it comes to sniffing the baby. Yeah, right.

You know, like I've sniffed the best. Forget the rest. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, if you want to try this, take a blanket on your next flight. I think you're going to end up looking like a fool. Little doll. Yeah.

Take a little doll in there just in case. Yeah, and just like put your mouth like... And just maybe put the little hand out. Yeah. Or YouTube on your phone, baby crying. Oh, yeah. And then it'll come through Yeah. Or YouTube on your phone, baby crying. Oh, yeah. And then it'll come through those tinny speakers on the phone. You're going to look crazy.

You're going to look crazy, but then no one's going to want to sit next to you. Because you're crazy. Because you're crazy. There's a man there shaking a baby doll. Yeah. He's crazy. I don't want to sit next to him. Maybe that's the way to do it.

That's the way to do it. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A little update. The Waterview Tunnel is closed if you live in Auckland. Oh. Oh, duh. Potential over-height vehicle.

Oh, no. No. You've got to check the size of your truck before you drive it in a tunnel. Delay your journey. Is that a photo of the truck? That's a big overloaded truck, isn't it? No. I think it's the one behind.

Oh, is that the one waiting to... No, they've been stopped because the overloaded one's already in the tunnel. That thing's huge, though. What thing? The second one. It's a huge tunnel, but that's what I'm saying. Is there a giraffe? Is there a giraffe in the trailer?

100% there's a giraffe. 100%. Okay, let's start that rumor. There is a giraffe that has... Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news. There is a giraffe in the Waterview Tunnel that's like driving along and going doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof. Stop!

Stop! Whatever noise a giraffe makes. I'm unfamiliar with it. What do they? Can you please, while Hayley's giving us a stat, can you please find what a giraffe is? I don't think we worry about the stat. Do you?

No, you've teased. You've teased it. I'm going to tell you it's a shit stat. It's as if it's bad. We're struggling. I'm going to tell you it's a shit stat. It says it was bad. We're struggling. I'm going to say it. She's hungover. I'm tired.

I'm not struggling. I feel great. You're feeling great. I'm feeling great. I think we should go for that case. Your perky little titties. He's got perky little titties, hey? The reason I said titties is I said you're perky

and then you looked down and went like this and held them. So that's why I then referred to your perky little titty. He's perky. Now, can we, I'll give you the stats. I need the HR journal. I've got a baby giraffe. Yeah, jot that down, actually. Jot that down.

Yeah. Jot that down in the HR journal. That's fair. You'll own that one. No, I think we should give him. I will own that one, but I will also write as a footnote to this HR journal entry that you did look down. Squeeze your naps.

Implying perkiness. Yeah. Right. Okay. We'll give them both, best of both worlds before we end this show. 56% of people agree it's time to grow up and buy real furniture by the age of 28. Real furniture by 28, not fast furniture. What's fast furniture?

Like assembly? Yeah, just a quick kit set. Cheap stuff. Right. This is actual footage of the giraffe in the tunnel, which is now closed. Oh, has that just hit its head? Yeah, that was a donk. It sounds confused after hitting the...

It's got concussion. It's dazed. Wow, well, there you go. That's the reason... A Woodaview Tunnel has reopened, somebody said. Oh, fantastic. Fantastic news. All it took... I'm just getting a news feed in my ear. Wow, well, there you go. That's the reason. A Woodaview Tunnel has reopened, somebody said. Oh, fantastic. Fantastic news.

All it took, I'm just getting a news feed in my ear. I'll just get, all it took was the giraffe ducking a little bit. Oh, fantastic. And it's through. He, like, crunched his shoulders up. Yeah. Not the smartest creatures, are they? And it came out the other end, and it's got a funny bandage around its head,

and there's little to funny bandage around its head and there's little toy-ty birds going around. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You know what? I reckon your script reading's getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars. Thank you. Just like I'd give this podcast.

I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast. Thank you, Vaughan and Hayley, for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.