ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 27th July 2022

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Britney x Elton  Top 6: Luxon  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley's Fasting  Breeze Jingles  Hayleys Version!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. Well, you'll hear about it in today's podcast in depth, Hayley's. Colonoscopy prep has started. Similar to Vaughan's, but now after the show, when we're recording this, we have a business lunch, or brunch. A brunch at my favourite brunch spot. Near work, yeah.

Near work. And you're not allowed to eat because at 12 o'clock. Oh, I just burped because that was the ginger beer. That was the ginger beer which I'm allowed to have. That's my treat for breakfast. But from 12, you've got to take the stuff that flushes out your body. So you can't have any food in you. Makes me shit myself.

Say how it is. I'm flushing out my body. I'm going to shit my pants for all day. I'm just trying to be classy. You know what? I mean, I actually, I mean, I'm sort of like, but I feel absolutely fine. And I'm going to be, it's not that hard for me to do it. But it is hard if we're going to the favourite spot and you guys are ordering like kimchi omelettes.

Don't just, I would just skip. I would skip this brunch. I'm not skipping a business brunch. I only go to business brunch to eat. You know what we should do, Carwen, at the social media desk as an entree? We should get a lolly cake. No, no, no, that's my favourite. A lolly cake.

Always a lolly cake. We can't hear you. Oh, there she is. Always a lolly cake. No, no, no, that's my favourite. A lolly cake. Always a lolly cake. We can't hear you. Always a lolly cake. But we do that before the main, is what I'm saying. Yeah, 100%. What if you sandwiched the brunch with a lolly cake? Lolly cake before brunch, lolly cake after. Oh, I thought you were meaning kimchi omelette

sandwiched with lolly cake. Well, technically it is, because it's all eating up your stomach in that order Nothing's allowed in my stomach Yeah It's going to be a wild ride Do we suspect this is going to be a long meeting No a good meeting

As long as it takes me You guys are going to order off the menu Can you do cabinet food please so we can get out of there Oh my god Anna don't pull the fingers at me I'm ordering off the menu Are you ordering off the menu I want the kimchi omelette Oh god Please so we can get out of there Oh my god Anna Don't pull the fingers at me I'm ordering off the menu Are you ordering off the menu? Yeah No I want the kimchi omelette

Oh God I just remembered They do fried chicken on waffles Stop it Yeah They do Yeah

And Hayley won't be here tomorrow We'll keep you updated though You'll give us regular Regular updates Regular updates Hopefully to make myself More regular Oh there'll be no problem

With your regularity once you drink that bloody colon cleansing juice. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Man, there has been some rain overnight in some parts of the country. Crash it, your pictures coming out of there yesterday afternoon were insane. They've had 20...

The Avons, huh? 24 hours of rain. In 24 hours, a month coming out of there yesterday afternoon were insane. They've had 20... The Avons, huh? 24 hours of rain. In 24 hours, a month's worth of rain. Going to be great to be down there next week. Yeah, I'd take a mop. We might be able to clean up. Yeah. Might be able to help.

I know. It's a bit more than a mop situation. Right. Well, I've only got a mop. I don't know what... Even when we were driving in South Auckland yesterday, all the paddocks are flooded. Oh, yeah, it's wild.

It's wet. It's a wild, wet weather. Right, coming up on the show, the top six, and Chris Luxon, the leader of the National Party. He didn't need this controversy, did he? He's learning. He's learning. He's learning through his mistakes.

Yesterday, the big story was A social media post saying This week I'm in Te Puke But he wasn't He was in Hawaii on holiday Now that's a timed social post Yeah But you know

If you can pick a hole in a politician You pick a hole in a politician Right? It happens from both sides Picking holes in each other It's quite funny It was a classic situation. So the top six places Christopher Lux in City was versus where he really was.

Right. Is the top six. That is coming up on the show. The issues to the company after her microwave exploded. I know. Shattering, sending glass over a newborn baby. So she was heating the bottle, wasn't she? Yeah, and she said she went to open the microwave.

The bottle, like, touched up against the door. Yeah. She said it was hardy enough to, like, smash it. You couldn't smash. It'd be hard to smash a microwave door, right? Yeah. I don't know, man. It's weird.

Some things you think are unbreakable, but then just the right angle. You touch it. You crack something. Yeah, right? Yeah. I don't know, man. It's weird. Some things you think are unbreakable, but then just the right angle. You touch it and it gets something. Yeah, right. Well, she posted about this on social media. It's the Anko microwave, the 34-litre Anko microwave. I believe it's pronounced Unko.

Unko? Just to make it a little bit more fancy. Right, like a bougie. Yeah, my plates, I think they were crafted by Uncle. Yeah, right. In an internet factory for a dollar? No, no, by hand.

I believe they were thrown on a wheel by hand. Yeah, yeah. What was the reasoning between it being called Anko? We learnt this once. Anko. It was something Anko and company, like Koi was short for company and then they just shortened it to Anko. Anko. It was something Anco and company, like Co was short for company and then they just shortened it to Anco.

Anco. Right. Is that the Kmart brand here? Yeah. Yeah, because it was like home and co for their homewares. And so I think they just went Anco for everything. Well, she posted this on social media and other users reported the same thing. They've had issues with this microwave.

So she's had it for about two years and says she barely used it other than to defrost and reheat. And she's just waiting to hear back from Kmart. Don't you hate it when your mince hasn't defrosted? I know, yeah. And you just think... Or it's brown on the outside, dark brown, and then on the inside it's just red.

It's rock solid, yeah. Do you remember when you used to just like slap a frozen slab of mints into a pan and then just like chisel it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then flip it and shake it off. And by the end of it, it was cooked but dry and crumbly. Hey, this is very concerning because Carween at the social media desk owns this very Encore Kmart microwave.

Have you got an Encore? Yeah, I do. Oh, is it the same one? Well, I've only looked at the photo. I haven't cross-referenced, like, you know, the number details. But it sure does look the same. Right. Does your one doesn't have the giant hole in the door, though?

No, no. Not yet. It's a dead giveaway. Any issues so far? Nah, she's been pretty reliable. How much was it? I don't know. My flatmate actually bought it.

Okay. So I'll blame her if it blows up. So I think they're only like, they're under a hundred bucks. Yeah, for sure. For sure. 79 or 49. They love a nine. That is wild.

Oh my God, 60. Oh, it's a 34 litres, 139 or 119 for 25. I beg your pardon. Or a 20 litre, $139 or $119 for a 25. I beg your pardon. Or a 20 litre is $62. That's cheap, isn't it? Yeah, probably that one, eh? That's pretty good.

You probably went cheap. Yeah, nice. Well, just be careful. Just be careful out there in general, I reckon. You know, these appliances, they're robots, really. They're going to take over soon. That one got angry and exploded over a baby. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Ring the alarm.

Sound the alarm. Get excited. I don't have an alarm. We used to have a bell, didn't we? Yeah, it's over there. Ding, ding. Ring the alarm. Whoa, ring the alarm.

Exciting news. Great sound effects. Announced yesterday. Now, Brittany Spears. Gosh, she's been through it all. She's a Brittany. She's not a Brittany. No, no, I added an extra syllable just for fun.

Yeah, but then the Britannies. Oh, the Britannies. They won't be happy about that. No, they won't. They won't spend their lifetime distancing themselves from those trashy Britannies. All right, yeah, she's a classic Brit. Because they're a classy Britanny. Britt Spears, been through a lot.

And the other day on her social media, I don't know if you saw this, but she said, I haven't shared my voice for a while now. And she sung, what was she singing? Oh, baby, baby. Oh, she was like, hit me baby one more time. But she did like a remix. Oh, okay. Like a kind of sultry, slow remix.

And with her like iconic voice. Yeah. And she sounded incredible. And she was like, I love singing. And I'm just going to share my voice again. And everyone was like, Brittany, give us new music. Yeah. Well, we don't have to wait that long.

She's doing a song with Elton John. They're going to re-record Tiny Dancer. You know how he's done a collab with Doja Cat? No, with Dua Lipa, sorry. What was that one? Cold Cold Heart. Yeah, Cold Cold Heart. They're redoing Tiny Dancer.

Britney Spears and Elton John. Interesting. Tell you who's excited. That's a long song too. The homosexuals are excited. The homosexuals are excited. Have homosexuals. Doesn't it turn out to get the homosexuals excited? Have you asked them all?

I have. I did a survey. Quick survey. Quick survey of the room. Survey passed. Homosexuals are excited. They're excited. Right.

Okay. Isn't this amazing? I mean, I was hoping that Brittany would release music and actually like do it her way. Blue Jean.

How is that going to go? Who's going to sing what? Oh Jean baby. I don't know. No. It's such a classic song though. But then, okay, what if we said to you oh, so Elton John is going to do a Dua Lipa remix of

Cold Heart. You'd be like no. Absolutely not. And you'd be like Cold Heart is a bit of a slow song. Yeah, but then that's been one of the... Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm saying, yeah, before... If I've been heads up on the Dua Lipa situation. Yeah, you'd be like, oh no, that's a terrible idea. But it's one of the biggest songs, you know, of the last 12 months.

This is a fantastic idea. This is incredible. It's been six years since she released music, and honestly, it's been like 16 years since she released any good music. Those last albums when she was in the 14 years of her conservatorship. Yeah. It's bad.

Terrible. The circus stuff is bad. But her early stuff when she was young and inspired and not, you know, being treated like this. Some great pop music. Some great pop music. Toxic. Great. Oh, my God.

But that was the start of the end, wasn't it? Hit Me Baby One More Time is just fantastic. So this is what we've got to look forward to. They've been in the studio in Beverly Hills last week for the super secret recording sessions. They're having a great time. This was Elton's idea. Yeah.

Genius for him. Yeah. I thought he was winding down. Well, no, because he's still got his tour. We just got some tickets for Elton. Same. For his shows in March? Jan.

Jan. Yep, January. Don't turn up in March. We've missed it. The Warriors are all going. You don't want to go because you saw half. I'm not facing that heartbreak again. You saw half and you just can't deal with that again.

Nah. Yeah. Well, a lot of people are saying it's going to be the song of the summer. Okay, well, I guess what? We've got to wait a month or two? Yeah. A few more? Not long, but they're in the studio now,

so I guess it takes a few months. But I can't wait for her announcement. I hope she's nude, clasping her breasts, telling us, I've got new music. You look shocked. You need to check out Brittany's recent Instagram post. Oh, no, I don't. Yeah, she's gone wild.

We love wild Brittany. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and wild Brittany. Cruisers got a bit of a bad rap, didn't they? After 2020? Cruisers. The boats. No, not vodka cruisers. I was thinking people that lingered around public toilets. Oh, cruisers.

Yeah, no, the cruisers. Cruisers. I like where the two different minds here went, like the alcohol drinks. Well, you were like, cruisers got Yeah. No, the cruisers. Cruisers. I like where the two different minds here went, like the alcohol drinks. Well, you were like, cruisers got a bad name after 2020. They hadn't had a bad name for a while. Unfairly so.

It was that cruise ship that went into Sydney and started it all for Sydney. For COVID. Yeah, for COVID. And then they had to stay on the boat, remember? Yeah. And everyone was getting COVID through the boat. That's right.

And wasn't there one like anchored off Japan as well? And Japan was just like, no. And one... We've got no fuel to go anywhere else. And that one in America too, Donald Trump at the time was like, no,

we don't want to let them in because we have to count the numbers. That's right. We don't want those numbers. We just left them on the boat. Imagine. Yeah, the early days. But people are back cruising now.

People are back cruising. All the cruises around They're like you know Europe and through the Caribbean and stuff I'm going to say it's not my cup of tea Nah The idea of being sort of trapped On this moving hotel

Makes me want to like Break free and Before COVID Jump off the back Diarrhea would tear through her Yeah Nonovirus Rotavirus

All of those viruses. Remember the ones where there was no air con and they were all just like shitting and vomiting in the hallways and stuff? Yeah, it got pretty wild out there on the seas. Yeah, well, the cruises are back. And I've just learned that there's language around the kind of cruise you go on. There's obviously adults-only cruises, a bit more fun. Is it Virgin? A cruise you go on? There's obviously adults-only cruises, a bit more fun. Is it Virgin, you know?

A cruise for virgins? A virgin cruise, God. God, that'd be a mess, wouldn't it? Virgin are basing like an adults-only cruise ship in, is it Melbourne or Sydney? And they're only adults only, but they look like quite modern. Yeah, real fancy. Not for old people. Some of them are fancy, fancy.

Well, there's two terms that I'm talking about. One's a vanilla cruise, which is, you know, you might have your kids there. You might be going on holiday, pop off, go to an island, come back on, have a meal. Watch a fun band, a covers band. Nana and Grandad spending their retirement. Maybe we'll just spend a day on the boat, you know, and go on the slides. And then there's lifestyle cruises, which is a little bit more towards the cruising side of cruising. Ah.

Swingers. Ah. There's swingers cruises. What about monkeypox, though? If monkeypox gets on board, it's going to tear through. Yeah, well, so there's things called lifestyle cruises, and a couple that frequents these very often every year has shared some secrets of a lifestyle cruise.

Bananas. Put your bananas up on the trolley. There's no supermarket on that. Oh, okay. On the ship. They say that when you go on a swing-specific cruise, it's a very broad mix of all ages from the 20s to the 80s. Oh no. Do you reckon that? No.

Swifty-swopty? I mean, if they're into it. All shapes, all sizes, all races, all creeds. Yeah. And there's some ways of communicating things because there's some cruises that not everyone might be swinging. So we know about

the pineapples. No. We don't know about the pineapples on the shirts pineapples on the shirts yeah or an upside down pineapple accessory so you might have like upside down pineapple earrings and that means what does that mean i'm looking i'm happy to give you my husband if i can have a hoon on yours i had no idea but also an upside down pineapple pineapple is actually how a pineapple grows. Yeah, they do. So technically, is that upside down? Which one's upside down?

I think you should lay them on their sides. Because you don't want to approach someone who is factually correct. Correct. A pineapple farmer. You start making out with their wife. Yeah, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Some dull pineapple farmers from Hawaii. Yeah.

Well, even there was a country calendar this week just gone. There's a pineapple plantation up north. Where? Up north. Up far north where it's all sunny all the time. Yeah, South Africans moved here and they were like, you guys don't grow any tropical fruit. Why is that?

Well, we can't. And it's like, yes, you can up here. And so they've got like bananas and pineapples and everything. Huh. Who knew? Imagine the Wipdos. Yeah, exactly. They'd be the ones to ask which way up it goes.

You can also grow pampas, pampas grass. Pampas. Pampas grass. Well, you can't in New Zealand. That is a noxious weed. Oh, really? It's a lot like our native toi toi, except it's a noxious weed. I imagine this is what it would be for when you were back on land,

but that's a sign that if you've got pampas grass growing in your front garden, come knocking on the dorm, let's chat. What if you buy someone's house? You want to be very sure. What if you buy a house of some swingers and move in? Well, you should have sprayed, they should spray that pampas immediately. Swingers or not, that's a noxious weed. Dairy farmers will tell you.

You won't get told to get rid of it off the waterways. It means something else to them. Wearing your wedding ring on your right hand instead of your left hand. Okay. Constantly. This one's funny. But pretending you're constantly missing your keys. So if you're at a party, being like, I've misplaced my keys.

Is that indicative that you've put them in the bowl? They must be in the bowl. Yeah. So there's this whole secret language. Have you ever put them in the bowl? They must be in the bowl. Yeah. So there's this whole secret language. Have you ever heard of any of this? I had heard of the upside down pineapple. Right. Only because there was a woman recently who got an upside down pineapple tattoo

and everyone was like, oh, okay. And she was like, what do you mean? And they're like, that's a symbol for I'm open to swinging. And she was like, no, it's just a cool design. It's a cool design. I like pineapples. And this is actually the correct way up. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, they say if you're into swinging, you can find these swing-specific cruises that are a safe place. How do these stories keep popping up in your feed? Yeah, the algorithm has me down. Two-stepping with a woman I love. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there. It was a bit of a birthday present for the Prime Minister, who turned 42 yesterday. That, you know, for her birthday, the National Party took a bit of political heat for the day. So she's the same.

How old are you now? 40. 40. So she's two years older than you. She was a year older than me at school. But she was only a year above. Yes. Not two years above.

So she would have been older in her year and you were younger in yours or something like that. Yes. Yeah. Correct. Right. Because I remember she was a year ahead of you in the student council. Yeah, you showed a cute little photo to us the other day. Yeah, yeah.

So I got my yearbooks the other day. Mum was like, your sister said these are yours. Yeah. And on the front was a bunch of swear words. You know how you write on each other's yearbooks? Yeah. Someone had written a bunch of swear words on mine. And so I was like

Yep Those are mine then And I found a photo of The student council Yep Hell of a year 1995

I forgot that I was on The Morrinsville College School council I just thought we were Intermediate school councillors Yeah But yeah Morrinsville College as well

You do so much civic duty You just forget It's a long list You forget It's a long list Yeah I've also got Pictures of the Prime Minister from the production

when she was in funny costumes. And I sent it to her and I said, is it illegal to blackmail a Prime Minister? What did she say to that? She said it should have been illegal to dress a child up like that. Good sense of humour. Good sense of humour, doesn't she? Yeah.

God, he still pesters the Prime Minister, doesn't he? I know. Look at that. That's the first little reminder. That would be great in the Herald. They'd love to do a story about that. Have to give these other students permission. Who's in between?

No, she's behind me. Kylie Arnold's to the side of me. What's Kylie Arnold up to? Oh, she's signed, okay. Yeah, right. Why don't you just blur out their to? Oh, she's on. Okay, yeah, right. Why don't you just blur out their faces? Yeah, we could blur out their faces. Yeah.

Luxon's whoopsie daisy. Big whoopsie daisy of the week. I bet he wishes he could release a school photo to make people forget about this drama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the big thing was it was a scheduled Facebook post on the National Party Facebook page saying he was in Te Puke.

Hey, everyone, listen, today I'm in Te Puke, the heart of Kiwi fruit country. But he wasn't. He was in Hawaii on holiday. Now, big whoop, right? It's a scheduled Facebook post. He should have said, hi, I'm in Te Puke. Not this week I'm in Te Puke.

Because then that's the misleading thing and people will pick holes. I mean, I don't really care. He also wasn't making any deal about being in Hawaii. He wasn't telling anyone he was in Hawaii. Yeah, he missed an absolute trick. He should have been in Hawaii, been like, hey, babes, work hard, vote national. You too can have a Hawaii holiday. Work hard, play hard, am I right?

Yeah. Two votes blue. Two ticks blue. Two ticks blue. Work for me. Love you guys. Peace out. Yeah. Remember to like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. So it was a little bit of a whoopsie daisy, people have said, a little bit of a social media blunder. So I've got the top six

places Christopher Luxon has said he was versus where he really was. Okay. Number six, he said he was in Tauranga. Where he actually was was Tauranga. Right, yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six places Christopher Luxon said he was versus where he really was. He said he was at the Fruit and Fiji department when he got a phone call, but he was actually

elbow deep in the ice cream freezer. We've all lied about what part of the supermarket we've been in. Yeah, of course. Just picking out some fresh produce for the week. Yeah, you're like, God, broccoli's expensive. Russell, Russell, Russell. Well, broccoli doesn't come in that bag.

I gotta go. I was getting biscuits. Gotta get some yummy frozen ice creams. Number four on the list of the top six places, Christopher Luxen said he was versus where he really was. He said he was just wrapping things up at work. He was six beers deep down the pub. Yeah. The back bencher.

Over at the back bencher. Is that the one that has all the caricatures? Yeah. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six places Christopher Luxon said he was versus where he really was. He answered the phone and said he was at the gym, but he was really, he was having a poo. Yeah.

It sounds a bit funny. I'm just at the gym. I've just nipped into the bathroom at the gym. I've just been at the gym. Yeah, why? Hey, Chris, why are you so out of breath? The six beers I had last night at the back venture, they were all Guinnesses.

Number two on the list of the top six places, Christopher Luxon said he was versus where he really was. He said he was five minutes from the party, but he was only just jumping into the shower at home. That's a classic Vaughan Smith, that one. That's a classic. I'm on my way, but I haven't got pants on, that's for sure. That's for damn sure.

And number one on the list of the top six places Christopher Luxon said he was versus where he really was. He said he was CEO of an airline. What he meant was he was leader of the opposition. Yeah, right. He used to be, but not anymore. But it's hard to forget such a prestigious situation. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you. our situation. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Do you read the terms and conditions? A resounding no. Silly little phone Do you read the terms and conditions? A resounding no. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, accept. 93% of people said no, I do not read the terms and conditions. 7% said yes, I read the terms and conditions.

Do they really? And I say to you, 7% are for you at least are lying. Oh, because sometimes it's pages and pages. But maybe those people would be like policy writers or, you know, like people who... Yeah, yeah. Lawyers and that kind of stuff. Because it's been done in the past. Like, people have put in some really funny, silly,

like, I get your firstborn baby kind of terms. And then as to prove that no one reads it, they're like, oh, everybody's just offered me their firstborn baby. That's not a funny term. That's how I lost Timothy. Oh, he was going to grow up to be so, yeah.

And Apple are actually taking our children to make iPhones, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Melting down our children and making iPhones with them. They always say that you should because a lot of it...

Melt down a child to... Yes. Actually, if you hold up my iPhone 12, you can actually hear little Timmy. My Timmy? Your little Timmy crying out. What are the chances?

Can you hear him? Help me. No, they say you should read the terms and conditions because most of the time these days, it's like privacy stuff. Yeah. Little thing where it says like, and we can follow your location.

Well, like how the American government is saying you basically shouldn't be using TikTok. Yeah, but they would say that. They're big MySpace fans. Yeah. Some feedback on it. Kate says, Only when entering competitions,

I'll read the Ts and Cs. Really? Yeah. But never for the important stuff. I've got no explanation for this, but it's just the competitions I read the Ts and Cs. Oh, fair enough. Sears said, I do always click on them, though, to pretend I've got no explanation for this, but it's just a competition I read the T's and C's. Fair enough. Sears said, I do always

click on them though to pretend I've read them just in case it's a trick. I hate when you have to read the T's and C's. When it makes you scroll to the bottom. Yeah, I like it when it just says read it here and you go, yeah. Done. Tick the box. Tick the box. Vicky said, depends.

Apple terms and conditions? No. Buying a house from a bank? I'll give it a quick read. Yeah, give it a flick. Yeah, that's a lifetime, that one. That's also what you pay a lawyer for. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, can you imagine how boring it would be having a lawyer reading all that stuff? I'd just be like, skim, skim,

skim, skim. Yeah, I know. Pretty misanvital stuff. But they have boats, so some lawyers. Yeah, but they have to read on the boat. They've got so much reading they've got a boat, but now they're just reading at sea, which will probably make me seasick way quicker than normal. Yeah, true.

Candice said, I have faith in the Consumer's Guarantee Act and Fair Go as a last resort. Good on you, Candice. If I get stuffed over, I can always go to Fair Go. Yeah. Sweet St. Pippa Wetzel. Why did I say her name like that?

Sweet St. Pippa Wetzel. That's a hard thing. Sweet St. Pippa Wetzel. Pippa, Pippa, Sweet St. Pippa Wetzel. Yep, and Hayden Jones, they'll sort you out. They'll have you back. Just as will be served. Jessica said, only exception is for big prizes.

That much attention got me a free trip to Florida before. Really? Oh, I'd like to know the backstory there. Me too. Maddie said,

I'm a lawyer. It kicks in without thinking slash trying. But at least I know my way around these things so it's quicker. So there you go. She is one of those.

I don't need to read that bit. I need to read that bit. This bit's important. This bit's not important. Next person. Rob said, I ain't need to read that bit. I need to read that bit. This bit's important. This bit's not important. Next person. Rob said, I ain't got time. I ain't got time for that. Yeah, no one's got time for that.

Rob doesn't have time for that. And Ruth says, I got trapped at a job with some ridiculous clauses and when I combed through, I found out you had given them permission. I had given them permission to monitor me. A.K.A. You chomped the hard way. See, I mean, I think most people are assuming terms and conditions are I had given them permission to monitor me. A.K.A. Your job? No, no, see, I mean, I think most people are assuming terms and conditions are websites, signing up for something.

Yeah. Not you 100% have to read your contract. Your job contract. Your job contract. Give that a skim. Give it a skim at least. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. And then what you do is you make alterations to it and give it back to them hoping they don't read it, then they sign it, and then you sign it. You've got yourself a deal. No, but now when you make alterations, you've got an initial and then they have to initial. Oh, okay. Well, just forge their signature.

It's so easy to forge an initial. And get what you want. Not if you can edit the original document that they print out. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. We're living life on the edge, aren't we? Yeah, we really are.

If you follow me on social media, you already know all of this because I'm sharing every little itty-bitty gritty detail of my upcoming colonoscopy tomorrow. You should just get them to live just before they juice you up with the knocky-out stuff. Just press live on your Instagram and get them to bloody live stream the whole thing. From which end? Both.

Yeah, right. Well, they can probably work in with the Instagram feed, do a split screen from the camera. That's inside me. That's on the stick. Yeah. Yeah. Or you can log, famously, a colonoscopy camera

can log onto Instagram. I'm sure it can. Connect accounts. Just remember to log off at the end. We don't need to see anyone else's. No. Insides. You've had this done.

Yes. And I will say it sounds all very well and now good to be sharing every detail. But when your anus, I'll call it what it is, when your anus is raw from hot, hot liquid erupting at a moment's notice, you're probably not going to be as forthcoming with the sharing. Well, that is me this afternoon because basically I've stopped eating food.

I do have a bit of jelly as it is just a, it's basically a liquid. Because for those that don't know, you've got to prep and flush everything out of you. You have to be empty. And so that involves stopping eating, only clear liquids. And then I take a laxative at 12, and then another one at 6 or 8. I'll check the 4. Oh, that's close.

And then tomorrow, you're away. You won't be on the show tomorrow. Because I'm pooping all day today. So please know that this afternoon, as you're going about your life, I am glued to a toilet, evacuating myself. I am sharing it all on my social media. Not all.

I'm not going to. Not all. I'm a classy lady Yeah As we all know But yeah And then their procedure is tomorrow Now I

You had a barley rash And I had to On the bum bum And then I had to give you Some of my expired cream Are you gonna be looking good For the doctors? I think I'm looking good

For the doctors That's all cleared up Are you having Vaughn's Do you remember you told that doctor When you were high on drugs That he was handsome He was handsome Do you remember that told that doctor when you were high on drugs that he was handsome? He was handsome. Do you remember that?

Yeah, I do. That was the last thing I remember. I said, oh, you're a handsome man. Your Kinsey scale went a bit to the left, didn't it? Well, yeah. I tell you what, pump me full of propofol and forgetty juice and my Kinsey scale's just like, woo. Woo.

Woo. We all know what I'm like just with a couple of drinks on board. I don't know about these sort of fun drugs. I've had hundreds and hundreds of messages of like advice for the prep. They're like, the prep is the worst part. Yeah, so, so. But a few people have said, the drugs they give you are quite fun. Yeah, because what did I have the first time?

Fentanyl, and that didn't work, but propofol did. Yeah. Right, that's the one killing everybody too, isn't it? Fentanyl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't, that wasn't fun. Look, wish me luck. I won't be here tomorrow, but just know that I would rather be here. But send me thoughts and prayers and send me

a nice thoughts and prayers. You can message Hayley. Please keep Hayley's anus in your thoughts today. Next on the show we were in the car yesterday flicking radio stations on a bit of a roadie and Hayley learnt something about radio. Blew my mind.

You've been lied to all these years. I feel betrayed. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now yesterday we were in a Black Thunder. We were driving around. Those Jeep Wranglers are horrible to drive. I hate them. Yeah, terrible.

Side note, shit vehicle. Don't buy one. Yeah, really not great. They are awful. In the back, I've got to tell you, it's not fun. Corners like a cloud. Horrible. But we were going to do something for work,

so we were all in the same car, and we were in an area between radio receptions. So I pressed that scan button on radios where it goes through and just finds the next station and gives you a seven-second chance to be like, yeah, I'll stay on this one. Yeah. And we so happened to be scanning, and we hit the breeze. Now, we will say that we prefer our own company's adult contemporary station.

Oh, Coast. Coast. Yes, Coast. We're big contemporary station. Oh, Coast. Coast. We're big Coast people. Big Coast people. Even though you've got a beef with Tony Street. Well, I've actually had to put that to bed momentarily. She's blackmailing me at the moment.

She had her hacker. She's got hackers. She's got Russia. She had her hackers hack into my computer. She's found some questionable content, and she's currently blackmailing me to knock off this thing that we've got beef. Even though she's the nicest person in media. That's how she comes across. She is the nicest person in media.

You're right. But she's blackmailing you. Right. I say this of my own free will, Hayley. She's lovely. But this is when Hayley noticed that you've been lied to for your entire life. My entire life. So I grew up in Wellington, obviously.

I ooze cool, and that's how you know. Of course, yeah, of course. You don't drink coffee, I won't tell Wellington people. Don't tell them. But this jingle is part of my childhood. This is what they play on the breeze. Something about this city of ours. And it keeps me here still.

And it's this bit. Harbour City, you're a friend of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no better place to be. God, they play this a lot, don't they? Harbour City. Harbour City. Yeah.

So yesterday Hayley found out that the breeze is just some sort of strumpet. Strutting herself around the country. And just changing the lyrics. They changed the lyrics for every city. It's like writing an email, a really heartfelt email. Auckland City. I mean, you thought it was Harbour City.

But it's Harbour City. And you were like, we're not in Wellington. And I was like, wait, what? I was like, wait till we go over the Bombays. And then we found Hamilton and they're like, River City. Yeah. River City. So every, where they are, they've got a different one.

You told me about Christchurch as Garden City. Yeah, City. And you were just, you were, and now you're working in radio. You just couldn't believe that radio's lied to you. You thought that was unique to you. I'm shooketh. You know the other one? Someone just messaged in saying, stop.

What the F is? Full spelling of words. Are you talking about? Oh, yes. The breezes. Don't get me wrong. Robert Rocker, he's got some sort of like fountain of youth. That guy hasn't aged since the 80s when he hosted RTR Countdown.

He's a beautiful, one of the most beautiful men in the country, but he's a liar. He's a liar. And he's allowing this lie to perpetuate around the country. Liars. Thieves. So pirates. I was so upset by this. And then you were telling me about Garden City, River City, Harbour City, Auckland City,

which is not very creative. I'll just put that out there. It's very lazy. Lazy, lazy. Very lazy. And then I was like, well, I don't really think that those, you know, descriptions of the city are accurate. No.

So we thought we could maybe do some breeze jingles. Remix them. Remix and make them a little bit more appropriate. But we are going to need your help. So what is your town or city most known for, really? Not the river, not the harbour. Yeah. Like, for example, Morrinsville.

Morrinsville. Do you have a blank one for us? Yeah, I've got a blank one. Would you like to do Vaughan's? Should we do what we... This is what should play in Morrinsville. Morrinsville. Okay, that should be good.

Milk in Met City, you're a friendinsville. Okay, this will be good. Milk in Met City, you're a friend of mine. Milk in what? Meth. Meth. I mean... It's undeniable. We both produce the best milk. But there's an underlying meth issue.

Do Carwain. Carwain, Napier. What should Napier be? Art Deco. No, it's too boring No, the two countdowns We have two countdowns Yes!

What do you mean you've got Everybody's got at least a couple No, no, no They're over the road They're across the road from each other Are you kidding me? And then next to a pack and save Okay, give us the jingle

Are you kidding me? To Countdown City You're a friend of mine And you sure got a friend. It works so much better. Yeah. Why don't they turn the other countdown into something else? No, no, no.

They won't. They simply won't. Isn't it often used as an example of supermarket land grabbing? To eliminate competition? Yeah, right. So New World can't rock in and be over the road. Yeah. Okay.

So what we want is for people to call up and look, it doesn't have to be a city. Or a town, yeah. It can be a town, wherever you live and what it's known for and we're going to breeze it. But it needs to be like three syllables, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm good at cramming in a lot of syllables into a space.

Cramming in a space. Milk and meth, but that's three syllables. Milk and my city. Milk and meth. Yeah. That works well. All right, 0800-DARZEN, pretty easy as well to text,

9696 and we'll come back next and we'll remix your town. We're going to breeze it. Yeah, we'll breeze it. We're giving it a breeze treatment. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, it was in the car yesterday flicking radio stations

that Hayley realised she's been lied to her whole life. Yeah, I thought Again, I'd like to reiterate that our company's adult easy listening contemporary station, The Coast, would never lie to you. The station on a whole wouldn't lie to you. We didn't tune in to the breeze. We were doing the scanner and it landed on the breeze.

And so you grew up with the Harbour City. You're a friend of mine, Jingle. Which is the OG, right? Yes. Because it was started there. And then Auckland City says Auckland City. And everyone's got their own. Everyone's got their own. But nobody knows that everybody's got their own.

They think they're special. And I think they're a little PC. Christchurch, Garden City. Yeah, there's more to Christchurch. There's more to Christchurch. So we want to give your town or city the breeze treatment like it actually should be. We're going to Febreze it.

Yes. So we are getting a lot of text messages in. So I think I've got the jingle ready. You're going to have to sing these like they should be. Somebody's messaged in Auckland, and this is a huge contentious issue that Auckland City, you're a friend of mine, nothing creative about that. Someone suggested with the amount of ram raids, it could be Ram Raid City. So do you're a friend of mine. Nothing creative about that. Someone suggested

with the amount of ram raids it could be Ram Raid City. So do you want to give a chance? Hit the jingle. Ram Raid City, you're a friend of mine. And you sure got a friend in the breeze.

Much better. You're listening to the breeze. Yeah, great. Fantastic. Much more realistic. Because you hear that and you go, oh, it must be in Auckland Yeah We must be on the motorway now Okay, what's next on the list?

Shudger through ramrodes Hamilton, there was a Hamilton one here I've sent the lyrics to that one through to you Oh yeah, I've got that, hit the jingle Gang Pads Gang Pads said you're a friend of mine Gang Pads good And you're so good of mine. Gang pegs good? And you sure got a friend in the breeze.

I mean, that could be used in many, because many towns have gang pegs. Oh, lots of gang pegs. That's a good one. Could do it. That's for Rotorua. Yeah, sure. Do that for Whanganui.

Someone said out West Auckland. I mean, this is another Auckland, but West Auckland geographically. I mean, if they're going to get specific to city, why not get specific to jingle? Pothole City. A lot of potholes. A huge amount.

Pothole City. Okay, no, you've got to hit this with, you can't beat the amount of potholes. And again, and again. Pothole City, you're a friend of mine. Love it, love it. Okay, what's next on the list? Tauranga. There's a Tauranga one there for you.

Oh, yeah, I've got it here. White and Christian. Oh, Christian City, you're a friend of mine. They bloody love the breeze. They've got a friend in the breeze. Okay, what's next on the list? You've sent me a Rotorua here. Yeah, okay.

Eggfat City, you're a friend of mine. Love it. Yeah. I mean, it's what it's known for. You want a breeze, don't you? To blow away the smell. The sulphur. Yeah.

There's a Kapiti Coast one here. Teen pregnancy city, you're a friend of mine. Yes. And you sure got a friend. Much more realistic. You sent me a palmy. Oh. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Eh, city, you're a friend of mine. That's a fair reflection of Palmerston North. Hey, lady. And you sure got a friend. And we're also going to see palmy in a couple of weeks. Can't wait. Big fans. Big bangers bingo, yeah.

I mean, that came in from a listener, so that's not us. I don't hold those views. I don't want a rubbish dump named after me like John Cleese. Oh, yeah, that's right. I've got a Dunedin that might get us into trouble. Okay. David Bain said you're a friend of mine. Allegedly.

He put it on the map. Allegedly. And you sure got a friend in the breeze. Do we have a new Plymouth? My hometown? Yeah, I've got a new Plymouth one. I'll sing it if you want. Here you go.

Missing teeth city, you're a friend of mine. Have you heard of dentistry? Okay. Yeah, fine. Okay. I mean, not as bad as the milk and meth city of Lawrenceville. Well, a bit more milk, a little less meth, you might as well have your teeth.

True. It's a calcium issue. Someone's messaged in about where my whanau is from. Dargaville. I'll give you Dargaville. In Brett City, you're a friend of mine. Surely not. Rude.

There's a little bit of my family in you. Sugar friend in the breeze. The Kormorah. Surely the Kormorah City. Yeah. But it's not as fun. Oh, my God. I mean, are we just giving ideas away for free?

Absolutely. To the opposite network? Again, I will say it. I prefer a coast. Or any day. I'm a company man. Absolutely. I'm a company man.

Absolutely, yeah. I'm a company man. I know you are. I'm a company man. Any more tickling your... There's a Huntley. A Huntley. You just be careful, thank you.

Bypassed city, you're a friend of mine Yeah, well it has been bypassed now, hasn't it? We don't ever have to see it again You sure got a friend in the breeze Oh, here's a Queenstown just come through Oh, okay This is a bit hard Repuff city, you're a friend of mine

Oh, haven't they been there enough? They've had tough times You sure got a friend. They've got to get it back somehow. There's one for the North Shore of Auckland here. Oh. Oh. South African city, you're a friend of mine.

And you sure got a friend. In the breeze. It should be the Suzuki Jimny City. It should be. The White Girl Suzuki Jimny. White Girl Jimny City. It should be. The white girl Suzuki Jimny. White girl Jimny City. Does that work? Yeah, give it to me.

White girl Jimny City, you're a friend of mine. And Vaughn's. You sure got a friend in the breeze. I think these are a bit more accurate. Yeah, way more. Yeah, don't be a coward. Don't be cowards at the barris. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, researchers in the UK, and this is, it's not good news, guys, as we grapple with another COVID surge in the community. Hayley still hasn't had it. Not yet. And a team in the UK analysed electronic health records, they were anonymous, of 2.4 million people. And they have found that there are about, I think a few months ago they were saying about 200 symptoms of COVID-19.

They reckon there's about 60. Oh, right. The most popular ones. And they've identified two more that they say are quite common, hair loss and low libido. I've already lost my hair, and to be honest, that could do with toning down a bit. Yeah, the libido could definitely do with a down a couple of notches. You wouldn't worry about that at all.

No, I wouldn't concern you. You've had a couple of kids. Yeah, you're married. What do you need it for? Wow. Yeah. So hair loss as in... And they say alopecia, which is more than hair loss.

That is all hair loss, isn't it? No, alopecia, you can have alopecia and it can be like just bits. Oh, right. It can be the whole thing. It can be part of the body. So hair loss, right. But like chunks. Yeah.

Patches. Wow. So the British survey, yeah, 2 million people adds those problems to the list along with brain fog, chronic fatigue, and yeah, focusing on 60 more common symptoms. Yeah. the more common symptoms. Is the decrease in libido due to being gross and tired and sick?

Maybe. Or is it actually chemically changing libido? Yeah, you can... Sorry. You can... I'll play the fifth on the rest of that sentence. I got COVID, what, mid-March? March 15, I think.

Yeah. Yeah, you were out shagging every. You were shagging even when you were supposed to have been isolated. I'm not talking about libido. Oh, I'm in lockdown. I'm locked down. No, I'm just saying that, like, even, like, I've only just been able to go back and do, like,

spin classes at the gym and do cardio. And that's been, what, like, March, April, May, June, July. It's been like four months of not having chest problems breathing. Is that long COVID? It's insane. It is, right? Yeah. It's long.

It's lasted way longer than COVID. Yeah. I know lots of people who recovered from COVID and now are fine. Yeah. Like as if when you recover from a cold or a flu and then you're fine. It's just weird that everyone's different and there's so many different symptoms

and no one really knows what's going on. It's reassuring. Don't you wish that it didn't happen? Yeah, yeah. Don't you just wish that COVID didn't? Yeah. Just didn't? Well, now we've got monkeypox to worry about.

We certainly do. But you're not worried. I'm not worried. I'm not worried. More on that later. I want to talk about Love Island. I mean, you know what Love Island is. It's a dating show.

It's British. But this year they're not allowed to get them drunk, hey? Yes, it's so funny. They're like always sipping on these water bottles and then when there is a bottle of wine, they're like, they want it. But is that creating the drama as much? There's drama.

Still drama. There's drama. I think they were just like, it's getting sloppy and people are making, you know, like it's just a bit, it takes the integrity out of love. Yeah, that's what I was, I demand integrity from my wife. Yeah, like, it's just a bit it takes the integrity out of Love Island. Yeah, that's what I was I demand integrity from my own life, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's obviously, it's a smash hit and I was so

resistant. I was like, oh my god, it's trash. I'm not gonna watch it. And then I The trash machine sucked you in. Sucked me in and I'm hooked and I love it and I cannot wait to just shut up and get out of here so I can go home and watch some more. Yeah. But now there's rumours, there's rumours swirling that there's going to be a new Love Island filming this year

that'll show either next year or the year after. Love Island for 40 plus. So over 40s, middle-aged Love Island. Now let's ask the ZM girls chat, how do we feel about an over 40s, a 40s to 50s Love Island? Would you watch that? Absolutely.

Yeah. Would you? Really? I want to see someone's mum macking it on with someone's dad. Yeah. Dude, that is a weird insight. I want to see a mum,

I want to see a dad, I want them to have different kids and I want them to be macking on each other. Wow, you're getting out weirder than I meant to do. Do you need us to get Jared to play that audio back? Yeah, we'll just clip that up, Jared. Can we just replay that audio, Jared? I think you need...

I want someone's mum... Did you say macking on someone's dad? I want to see someone's mum macking on someone's dad. You know, mum and dad flirting is just weird. No, it's not. It's weird. I've still got, mum and dad flirting is just weird. No, it's not. It's weird. I've still got bits and pieces that need dealing with. Mackinac?

But I know you all watch Love Island for the drama, but it's to haunt people, right? No. No, because that, I mean, that's one of the things that is rumoured about this is, like, it's going to be, I hate to say real bodies, but, you know, that's what they're saying is, like, lots of different types of bodies as you have in your 40s and 50s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as we also have in our 20s and 30s, but not on Love Island. There'll be lots of dads swimming in T-shirts being like, it's just for the sun protection. Yeah. Yes. I think we might see a few more one-pieces

than we do bikinis. And lots of jorts. Lots of jorts. Lots of jorts. Lots of jorts. Lots of jorts. Yeah, I think a lot of like sort of billowing linen shirts. And everybody will just nip off to bed early. Yeah. So that's what it's rumoured.

And then when dad does take his shirt off, you can tell he's like sucking in because he's walking a little shoulder here. Yeah. But you'd watch it. Absolutely, I would. It's walking a little shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. But you'd watch it. Absolutely. I would. It's fascinating. I don't watch.

I think I'd rather watch the older one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I don't know why I watch it. Aaron says the same thing.

He walks in. He's like, Oh my, why do you watch this? Yeah. Rubbish. And it's just a fascination. Yeah.

Um, we've got an auto replay just from the show. Can we just hear it again? We just a fascination. Yeah. Gerard, we've got an auto replay just from the show. Can we just hear it again? A moment to go if we just have a listen. If it's working. It's not. I'm not getting anything through there. Oh, my God.

The suspense. We'll just wait. Wait for the order. Really? Here we go. I want to see someone's mum macking it on with someone's dad. Yeah. Yeah, there you go.

You said that. You said that. Macking it on with someone's dad. Should we send that to Karwin's mum? No. I'm trying, there you go. That, you said that. Mackinac on someone's dad. Should we send that to Carwin's mum? No. I just mean like, you know, like it's nice to see them being in love. Maybe I'll find my mumma. You said you want to watch someone's mum

Mackinac on someone's dad. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hayley's version. Sung, sung with different lines. That's good. That's good. That's clever. Hayley's version, if you do say so yourself. It's clever.

It's been a while between Hayley's versions. We had a holiday. I was doing Bake Off for a bit. We even replayed one. Well, we replayed the Ashley Bloomfield one to the man himself. And he loved it. And he said he was a fan. He said he loved it.

Yeah, he said his kids would love it. It was nice. And you know what? He is tapping out at just the right time because here comes monkey pox. Here comes the pox, man. The who, not the band or Doctor Who, the World Health Organisation, this week or at the end of last week, labelled it now. Global health emergency. Yeah.

And I was like, hey, dude, we already got one of those on the go right now. Yeah, we've got two on the go now. We've got two on the go. US seems to be the epicentre. A thousand cases in New York City alone. Not the US. The first monkeypox case in a pregnant woman. Children have been getting it.

Reports said it's not just like it used to be, spread from skin contact, but also body fluids. Right. And also I was reading a report yesterday, it can stay on surfaces, surfaces, sweetie, for 15 days. Surfaces? That's terrible.

Well, we... What kills it on the surfaces? Probably some spray and wipe, maybe. Bit of Detol? Yeah, the big spray and wipe money, yeah. Well, I don't know. Remember when COVID first happened, detol,

you couldn't even buy it? Couldn't get it. Couldn't get the wipes. And now every store you go into is like, you want some hand sanitizer for 50 cents? We bought too much.

We got too much, yeah. And I was like, no, I'm not really washing my hands anymore. Anyway, so the first case arrived in New Zealand a couple of weeks ago

and then a second case, they, same rules, told to isolate but it lasts longer. It can last in the system for about three to four weeks. So if you're in the need for a holiday, get out there and get it on you. Although, is there any in the wastewater?

I love a wastewater test. I'm fascinated by wastewater testing. I don't know if they can test the wastewater for that. That's a really good question. It's done by a PCR test to test if you've got it. If you've got monkeypox. Or you can swab a burst blister. Because...

Because Tauranga apparently, the wastewater is telling us that it's got way more COVID than anybody's letting on. Okay, so monkeypox was detected in the Bay... This is, I'm assuming, San Francisco and California. Monkeypox was detected in the Bay Area this is, I'm assuming, San Francisco and California. Monkeypox was detected in the Bay Area wastewater. So they can do surveillance. So this is the thing, right?

We've got two cases and after that we were like, here it comes and it went quiet and so we were like, we're not worried. And then there was a news article yesterday that I read that was like, New Zealand should be worried.

Monkeypox is here. So of course I have covered, for Hayley's version this week, OneRepublic's I Ain't Worried. I am worried. Feel free to whistle along. You can't whistle? No.

We saw it on our TV screens People covered in red dots They call it monkeypox But it was only happening overseas No need to worry for us Kiwis, but we should worry about it right now. Monkey Pox is here. Monkey Pox don't care about you. So maybe start to worry right now.

Now I get the fuss. Pimples full of pus. Ooh, ooh, I'm freaking worried about it. I'm pan worried about it. I'm panicking about it. They're trying to blame it on the gays. Saying they're getting down and dirty, spreading different kind of herpes. But it actually spreads in many ways. Not exclusively from Grindr dates, but we have only just accepted COVID-19.

Now there's a second global health emergency. It's like Jesus Christ is back. It's a reckoning and he's spreading his rash on you. Okay, I'm worried about it right now. Is that an ingrown hair or something more severe? I do have a rash everywhere. I'm pretty worried about it right now Rushes and headaches A fever and the shakes as well

We all should worry About it right now I gave a guy a patch Now I'm covered in a rash Yeah, hell Yeah, I'm worried about it And you should worry about it. Let's all just worry about it.

Monkey Box. Yes. Get worried, guys. It's coming. It's coming. I got my head out this sunroof. I'm blasting my favorite tune. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Well, Manawatu Police are warning people purchasing stuff online, like Trade Me Marketplace. Trade Me, sorry, or Marketplace on Facebook, online sellers. You purchased, finally, the game Pass the Pigs. Yeah. That we talked about last week. We talked about it last week

and then we were all having drinks on Thursday and thankfully Drunk Hayley also kept on bidding. She said an auto bid because someone was out bidding me and I won it. Because you can buy the game Pass the Pigs new but you wanted the retro. I wanted the vintage one

so I bought it. 26 bucks. Pass the P vintage one. Yeah. So I bought it, 26 bucks, Pass the Pigs in great condition. I came home yesterday and Aaron was like, why have you bought Pass the Pigs? I was like, do you know Pass the Pigs? He's like, yeah, from like childhood. Yeah.

Why didn't you bring it into work today? I forgot. I forgot. It was my intention. I'm going to bring it in on Friday. I never played Pass the Pigs. Oh, it was great. You're going to play on Friday. So the pigs ended up in sixth position.

Basically, it's a kind of suit for the pigs. Yeah, and then you get more points for whatever way your pigs landed. Great game. Okay. So you did a pick up, which is I never do. If I'm selling anything on Trade Me, it's sending out or it's delivery. I don't want to deal with people. I know, but couriers are so busy at the moment.

I didn't want to bog them down. And the house was in Herne Bay, Auckland, which if you're not from Auckland It's ooh la la. It's one of the most ooh la la's. Why was somebody in an ooh la la suburb selling pasta pigs for $26? A 26 dollar toy they don't want? That blows my mind. If I had old board games that I wasn't

using or old games, I would just donate them to the op shop. Totally. It's funny as well, like, there's 14 emails back and forth between me and the seller. So this person is living in one of New Zealand's

richest suburbs. Yeah. In a nice house. The house was nice. I had a look. 14 emails alone. Like,

send it out. Here's my address. The money's in your account. Send it. Yeah, but then it was like, what day suits you? I can leave it out.

It's raining today. I'll put it on. No, no, no. And then I forgot. Yeah, but you had a like, what day suits you? I can leave it out. It's raining today. I'll put it on. No, no, no. And then I forgot. Yeah, but you had a good experience overall. Great experience. A plus would trade again. Put it in a bag.

Right. It was in a plastic bag. Well, Manawatu Police reminding people to be alert because some people have been misleading with their purchases. So there have been a notable increase in people handing over property to people posing as buyers after being falsely led to believe that they'd paid for the item. So quite often they would show them a fake bank transfer or they'd be like, hey, I'm on your doorstep.

Okay, what's your number? Put it in and then pretend to pay for it. Take the item and leave. That's terrible. And you often hear of marketplace stuff, like people buying an iPhone, they take it, and then the people flee, and it's just a box of sand. Sorry. That was pretty good, didn't it?

Someone we know buy, like, three phones online and got them back to the hotel, opened them, and they were rocks. Yeah, that was in, like, somewhere like Cambodia or Thailand or something. They were rocks. Like, at least give the box a jiggle. Give it a jiggle. Give it a jiggle. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, and you hear about people as well, like getting mugged or assaulted, like they turn up with an iPhone to sell and they just steal it off them. You are meeting a stranger and you pick a meeting place. It is dodgy fundamentally. So I, and I saw this when I was in Australia a few weeks ago.

Melbourne have been doing this, Victoria Police, and I think they did it after a woman who was buying an iPhone. She thought she was buying an iPhone from someone or selling or whatever. She ended up getting dragged along the side of the car after the people took her iPhone or took her money. And so police in Melbourne have set up special zones. They call them safer exchange sites.

And they're normally out the front of police stations. They put up like two or three cameras and a big sign and that's where you meet your like trade meal marketplace sellers.

Do you reckon people would use this if they were buying drugs? Yeah. I just want to maybe. I just want a safe place to get my ketamine, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just if you meet me outside the police. Yeah, I just want to maybe I just want a safe place to get my ketamine

you know yeah just if you meet me outside the police I know the world I can't even trust my drug dealer anymore

what has the world come to I mean this is a great idea that's a great idea maybe the police should look at doing that here or you could just meet someone

where you know there are like cameras on the corner of the street I hope there weren't cameras at this house I picked it up from because the house was so fancy I had to stick my nose through the window.

You weren't picking a nose around the house. I just wanted to see what kind of furniture they had. Oh, my God. Leather. Oh, of course. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about the school backpack Oh yeah

How old do you think the school backpack is? I don't know, ever since school started In 1812 1812? No school before then? Yeah, before that, no school. No, before that, they didn't educate kids. Right.

They just let them... They had them scurry up and down chimneys cleaning them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's always funny, eh, when you see a little kid and they've got those massive backpacks on. I know, like, do you remember when you were a kid and you had, like, a giant backpack and you were like,

you could fit in it? Yeah. And now you're like, that actually wasn't that big. Nah, nah, nah. And also wildly impractical at the time. Yeah. How much lunch

were you carting around? I know, and they always had all those small pockets so you could leave a sandwich in there for six months and forget about it. School holidays could definitely,

you know, banana gets mushed up in that front pocket. It lives there all school holidays so you come to clean it out. Yeah. Is the school backpack younger or older than we would expect?

I think it would be. It was significantly younger than I expected. Because, I mean, are we saying satchels are backpacks? Yeah, because it wouldn't have been a... No, we're not calling a satchel a backpack. It would have been a leather satchel. Or are you not... Are you saying the backpack followed the leather satchel?

It did. I'm saying the 70s. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 1972. 50 years old. Okay. The school Yeah. 1972. 50 years old. Okay.

The school backpack. Who made the first? Is there a brand? Jansport. Yes, that's what I was going to say because Jansport is huge in like America, right? So Jansport was named after, but this is an interesting fact in itself, Jand did the sewing on the early backpacks. So that's why it's called Jansport.

Jansport. Seriously. It's not yarn sport. Some people give the J a big Y treatment. Or like Fjallravenkranken. They're trying to make it fancy. It's Jan. Jan Plitz was the woman that sewed the first Jansport backpack,

so they named it after her. Do we have Jansport backpacks here? Yeah, I see them all the time. Yeah, massive backpack brand here. Right, okay. Huge backpack brand. But only like recently, right? I feel like New Zealand, they were the original school backpack.

Were they? They were the first ever school backpack. Did you have a Billabong backpack? You had a Roxy. Nah, probably, what was the cheap? Billabong, Town and Country. Rusty, maybe a Rusty. Yeah, right.

It was just some cheap. Ripcurl. Whatever the Warehouse's brand was at the time. Billabong. Town and country. Rusty. Rusty. Maybe a rusty. Yeah, right. Maybe just some cheap. Rip curl. Whatever the warehouse's brand was at the time. Body glove. Body would definitely have had a body glove. Planet 8. Yeah. Planet 8 hoodie.

Body glove backpack. Yep. I'm ready for seven forms. Dickies jeans. And a wetsuit pencil case. Of course. Oh my God. With a belt throw open.

Yep. So hard to get to a pencil. So loud to get to a pencil. So loud to get to a pencil. So backpacks originally, the first backpack was invented when a mountaineering, a mountaineering, mountaineer? A mountaineering went to Alaska and saw the Inuit people with backpacks on. Right. There were, nobody else had backpacks.

What did they, what did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest with, a backpack? Because he was a mountaineer. Yeah. Oh. He had a handbag.

I believe he had a purse. I think he had a, a long strapped, he had a clutch. Yeah, right. He had a clutch. He had a deadly pony's clutch. He had a deadly pony's clutch

with his ID and his credit card in it. He might have just put a Tommy bum bag around his, He might have had a, he might have had a Tommy bum bag around his... He might have had a Nike bum bag across the shoulder down to the hip. Maybe. No, well, the Inuit backpack was used for everything.

Carrying babies. Yes. Half a dead seal. Yeah, getting food home. Yeah, it was often made out of animals. Yeah. And over the shoulders, both shoulders. Oh, yeah.

And it was like the first... in fact, this blows my mind. As a culture, they were carrying things on both shoulders with a strap connected to what vessel it was carrying it in. Carry babies, all sorts of things. This adventurer saw that and he thought, that actually looks perfect in 1938. Yeah. Jerry started making them.

Jerry Outdoors made them, but didn't put a zip on them straight away. Just had a drawstring. Oh, yeah. And then- The rain will get in there. A zip got added. Yeah.

And it was in 1972 when one of the guys that started, Skip Yowell, who started Jan Sport, but didn't do the sewing, so it's not Skip Sport, is it? It's Jan Sport. No, it's Jan Sport. Because Jan did the sewing, went into a University of Washington bookstore, being like, hey, do many of your students do mountaineering or hikes or adventures? Because we're thinking we just want to get these stocked

in more places. It's a beautiful area. University of Washington's got the outdoor. Yeah. You know, Seattle up here is beautiful for the walks and everything. And then he looked around and noticed people were just, like, carrying bags or wrapping, like, a leather belt around the bags and everything. And then he looked around and noticed people were just like carrying bags

or wrapping like a leather belt around the bags and then carrying that. Yeah. And he was like, it rains here. Do their books get wet? And the woman's like, yeah, they are. Often complaints about the books getting wet. And he was like, light bulb moment. Ding.

I've got my back. And Jan got on the sewing machine. Jan got back on the banana. Jan, get out of the sewing machine. And hooned out some backpacks. Wow. And then it just like, boom, took off. It's fascinating.

Did the, you know, baby carriers, babies strapped on the front or the back. Yeah. Is that also inspired by the Inuits who would carry their children? Well, that's, yeah, I don't know, because the Scandinavians were quick to slap a baby Bjorn on there, weren't they?

Yeah. But yeah, the Inuits carried their babies on their back in the seal. The seal. Yeah, wrapped in a seal. We don't want the baby to get sick. Very cold. And then pulled over the top and then the drawstring as well to keep the baby on them. How do you put a drawstring on a seal?

You sew it. You sew a flap and you put some whiskers through. Hemp whisker blend. A braided whisker rope. Pull it tight and away you go. So that was how the school backpack was born. In 1972 because of rain in a

bookstore at the University of Washington in Seattle. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I'm on a huge journey to health. Yeah. Look, the first thing, I've been settling into a new job, a new home.

Yeah. I've been relaxing. A lot of excuses there. I've been chilling out. Yeah. Max and relaxing all cool. Yeah. Not shooting enough b-ball outside of the school.

Not at all. But I just needed a reset I've been in Bali My body is unhappy You've got a rash I've got a rash I'm getting my poo sucked out You're getting a colonoscopy

Most people say that Oh okay No you're not getting your poo sucked out Your body's going to get rid of that And then the camera sneaks in That's a colonic cleanse When they shove a hose up there. Yeah, and it blows it all out.

No, I'm not getting that. But anyway, I came into work on Monday and I said, please support me. I'm on a journey to health. So that means like after the show, there's no, hey, let's go to a cafe. Okay, immediately producer Anna was like, but it's Bun Me Monday

and tried to lure me in with a Bun Me. I'm just saying it's a good source of protein. Yeah. And how many days, Carween, until it's a brioche Wednesday? Well, today's brioche Wednesday. See, I can't be doing that. Can't be doing that. And also companies sending us a lot of chocolate and stuff like that,

just hanging around the office. I don't need that. Yeah, you can't do it. I'm on a journey to health. And I told this to Aaron before he came back from Bali. I you can't do it. I'm on a journey to health. And I told this to Aaron before he came back from Bali. I said, by the way,

I'm on a journey to health. Yeah. And I said, I am just sorting it all out. Salad, salad, salad. Salad, salad, salad. And then on Monday night, which was my first night,

I did great at work. Yeah. Remember I brought a carrot in. Yeah. You did. The carrot looked like a really long finger because at the end it looked like a nail. Yeah. It was yucky.

Yeah. You got halfway through that? I had a carrot and some ham, remember? Yeah. You threw the carrot at someone at some stage. I threw it and it went under a table. That's still there. That's that smell by you, Karwin.

That's festering under there for a couple of years. Yeah. And then I got home and Aaron has not honoured the journey. So I got home and Aaron had brought champagne. Champagne? Champagne is the one to drink, isn't it? On a Tuesday. On a Tuesday.

On a glass of red. On a Monday. On a Monday. Okay, right. He bought a bottle of champagne and it was one of my faves. It was Verve Clicquot. And I was like, I love a bit of Verve. And he put it in the fridge.

He was like, let's celebrate. A few things to celebrate recently. And I was like, well, no, but I'm on a journey to health. And he was like, eee. And I said, what? And he said, I've just ordered Indian. Indian can be healthy. That's a very populous country.

The biggest now. So that's got to say something for the food. No, no, no. I'm talking, we got Kiwi Indian. You're like, there's a tikka masala, there's a lamb korma.

You got British Indian. We got British Indian. We got two garlic naans, some bhaji, a lot of fried food. He's not honouring the journey and he knows,

I can't say no to champagne. For God's sake, I love it. Real champagne. Stop me now. And I can't say no to champagne for God's sake I love it real champagne stop me now and I can't say no to delicious Indian food

who can so day one of my journey to health was already absolutely derailed by Aaron sabotaging my plans but you did have

a carrot that morning but I had a curry that night balance baby so I'm starting again. Yeah. Even yesterday, I was like, I'm just reiterating the journey to health.

Yeah, yeah. And then I hear him on the phone, and I hear clink, clink, and he was talking to his friend on the phone, and they hear glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And I was like, well, you know, you can have a glass of glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Oh, he's poured me one.

So I had to have a glass of red wine. Well, because he's a goddamn gentleman, that's why. I know. Couldn't he have just had that after he'd had his other one? What, so you're going to put a glass of red wine in front of me and I'm just going to say no thanks. I'm on a journey to health. That's not how it works.

He needs to get on board and not put these things in front of me. Right, okay. But I'm sure this happens all the time when your partner absolutely sabotages your best efforts. Right. Maybe you've resolved to quit smoking. It's always quitting something, right? Yes.

Quitting something or like being disciplined at something. Starting something. Maybe like an exercise regime. Or like, hey, look, we really need to save some money. And they're like, okay, shall we go to Melbourne for the weekend? Or like you yesterday that was like, I've got to rush home because the curry is coming. Okay, shush.

I'm not on a journey to a financial health. I'm on a journey to physical health. Okay. But that is derailing your plans for the renovations. Okay, well, we're both doing a bit of derailing. We wanted to ask, when did your partner sabotage your efforts? Yeah, so give us a call.

0800 DALS at M9696. It doesn't have to be derailing your healthy eating. Could be that. Maybe they do that. You're just saying, you're resolved to do something, you're putting in your best effort and they just derail it. Or maybe you are the partner that derails your partner. We're talking

about when your partner sabotages your best efforts. Yeah, maybe you're trying to get fit. You're on a journey to health eating-wise. I'm on a journey to health at the moment. And Aaron keeps buying curry and champagne. I'm trying to lay off the ram raids. But every night, Sade flies up the driveway in a stolen Toyota Aqua. Just be like, one more, baby.

I need it. I need the thrill. I'm like, what about the kids? She's like, we're on a ram raid. Of course they're coming. They're in the back seat. Okay, you're right. Extra hands to grab stuff. Yeah, grab, grab, grab, grab. They can get in the little bits.

Yeah. No, we don't ram raids. Yeah. Are you jesting, are you? I'm appalled at the amount of ram raids. There was a story about it on the news last night. These idiots are all putting their faces online. But they've changed now. They're going from ram raids to smash and grabs. They'll on the news last night. These idiots are all putting their faces online. No, they've gone, but they've changed now. They're going from ram raids to smash and grabs.

Like, they'll just walk into a jewellery store with a hammer and just take them and run. Yeah. Nuts, eh? And they're like,

they're kids. In the middle of malls. Yeah. What are kids going to do with a bloody Michael Hill Jewellery Pearl Necklace? Put it on and be like,

I'm Marge Simpson! And then, that's the end, right? That's the end of your fun. That's the only thing they can do. That can be Marge Simpson! And then that's the end, right? That's the end of your fun. That's the only thing they can come up with. I mean, you could have said Harry Styles, but sure, Marge Simpson. No, Marge Simpson.

Harry Styles wear a pearl necklace. All the time. Well, I didn't know that. Loves the pearls. You know how. Loves the pearls. I didn't know that. Loves the pearls.

Marge Simpson is surely the most famous pearl wearer. Put on the queen! Oh, yeah. You could have said, I'm the queen. I'm March Simpson and I'm the queen. And then return the pearls to Michael Hill. Julie, you little bastard. You can't do fun.

Bring the pearls back. They'll let them try you. You're probably starting a TikTok trend, to be honest. So don't encourage it. Don't do it. People stealing pearls and saying, I'm March Simpson. And using this audio. No, don't encourage Don't do it, people stealing pills and saying I'm not super cheap I'm using this audio No, don't use this audio, permission not granted

Alright so some messages in, when your partner's derailed your best efforts Corinda says I was on an 8 week gym diet challenge and I came home on day 2 to my favourite banana chocolate chip muffins fresh out the oven

Hey this boy just wants you to be fed and maybe a bit more to my favourite banana chocolate chip muffins fresh out of the oven. What the smell. Hey, this boy just wants you to be fed and maybe a bit more cushioned for the push. No. He likes his lady. Ali, this is your husband. Yes. Now, were you derailing his best efforts or was he derailing yours?

He was derailing his own best effort. Oh, what happened? So he had, let's say, bowel issues and would be in the toilet at least five times a day, which is clearly not normal for number two. Yep, poor fella. Yeah, so I told him it wasn't normal. We now got a whole new extensive

gluten-free diet to see if that was the issue. About a month in, found out he was still smashing jam donuts at work. The boy loves his jammy cheese. Jam donuts, yum. No one wants a gluten free jam donut. If you try gluten free bread, it's like cardboard. Yum yum jam donut.

Thanks for your call, Ali. 0800DARLS.M Keep your calls coming in. You can text 9696. When did your partner derail your best efforts? We want to know when your partner derailed your best efforts. You're on a journey to health, Hayley. I'm on a big journey to health. It's being derailed by curries and wine.

Champagne. Yeah. Laura, also, your husband derailing your journey to health. It's being derailed by curries and wine. Champagne. Yeah. Laura, also your husband derailing your journey to health. Yes, he is like a savage chronic derailer. Oh no!

Even though he swears he's really supportive. So it was leading up to our wedding and I said to him I was like, okay, cool. Like I really like to lose some weight. I'd really love your support. You know, we were all about the snack life, the treat life. And one night.

That's the good life, isn't it? That's the good life. Well, yeah. We were just about the life. And so one night I made burgers. I served it up and there were no buns. And it was the trend at the time, like the bunless burger. Yeah, with

the lettuce. And he's like, what's this? I was like, um, it's a burger, but without all the carbs. And he's like, he was very unimpressed, got up, left the table and gave the kids and himself a bun. He's like, you're

on your own. Oh no! That's not how it works! And then he promised that, like, I just said, you know, we talked about chocolate and stuff. I was like, cool if you have it, like, just don't smash it in front of me. I have no self-control. And then

when he did it, I was like, we talked about this. He's like, well, I'm not in a weight loss journey. And I was like, we talked about this. He's like, well, I'm not going to wait last year. And I'm like, wow. It's infuriating. Also, do you think it's like it makes you feel better when someone else is eating bad food with you? Yes, because you're like, come along with me.

Come along with me. Laura, thanks. You call some messages in. My husband derailed my giving up chocolate after a four-day no chocolate stint by buying me a king-size chocolate and telling me I was an unbearable bitch without chocolate in my life. Now, you've got to appreciate the honesty there from the husband.

Yeah. It's what you promise when you get married, honesty at all times. Yeah, honesty. My husband sabotages my weight loss by telling me I'm beautiful so I lose motivation to do sit-ups. Aww. Don't do sit-ups. That's what everybody wants.

Yeah. You are beautiful. Yeah. That's what we need every morning to sing to us. No, because that song makes you feel ugly. Oh, yeah. It's you are beautiful no matter what they say. Christina Aguilera has no skin in the game of telling you you're beautiful.

Yeah, right. I'd rather wake up to dirty. She's just trying to make everybody feel, yes. Now we're talking dirty. Now we want to add some to wake up to to make you feel good. Nasty. Can I blame my kids for derailing my diet? Because all they want or ever ask for is nugs nugs and chips.

Nugs nugs and chips. If I was on like a little like salad chicken, you know, diet thing and there were nuggies around. Or just cut those in half, put them on top of a salad and that's a chicken salad. So the deep fried batter bit, you're just going to ignore that? That's bread, that's croutons. Yum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we're having a Caesar. I can make any food healthy in my mind. Yeah. Okay. A ice cream. It's essential milk for strong bones. Yeah, and vitamin D, isn't it. Yeah. Okay. A ice cream. It's essential milk for strong bones. Yeah, and vitamin D,

isn't it? Yeah. Strong bones. You're not messing with amateurs. You're messing with chubbies here. A hot dog.

A hot dog. Well, it's protein, isn't it? Yeah, it's essential protein. Yeah, essential protein. Yeah, but white bread bun. Carbohydrates, so you've got to have

a bit of energy for later on. Yeah, it's carb loading. Oh my God. You've got all that exercise planned for later. Easy. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there.

That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her fight.