ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 27th October 2022

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Top 6: Shoes  Yummy Yummy!  Hayleys Debut  Community Notices!  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, great barista made coffee on the go. I would just like to share with you at the start of this podcast a podcast hack I've got. It helps me get through more podcasts. Oh, it's double speed. That's too fast. It's impossible to listen.

1.5 is even too fast. Right. It's 1.2. Oh, What's your hack? 1.5 is even too fast Right It's 1.2 Oh is this your hack? 1.2 So it sounds Probably just how we sound During the show really

Because a lot of the time We talk quite fast Yeah you're just talking fast So if you press like On whatever you're using To play it Like speed And you go to 1.2

1.2 works I always forget I've got this on But recently I've been Listening to the latest batch Of 60 songs That made the 90s Oh yeah great And I don't realise That I've got it on 1.2 of 60 songs that made the 90s oh yeah great

and I don't realise that I've got it on 1.2 speed until it starts playing bits of songs I'm like jeez that's fun oh that's right I'm on 1.2 speed

hit me baby one more time yeah just I don't remember it like that a little bit faster well for those that now have changed to 1.2 speed you're going to get through this podcast

I think we should really fuck you up by talking really fast and then it's going to be too fast for you to even understand you have to go back and listen normally we've got one hell of a podcast for you we talk about so many then it's going to be too fast for you to even understand you have to go back and listen normally

we've got one hell of a podcast for you we talk about so many things it's really exciting and then the podcast will take a weird turn in speed

good from you actually good from you it actually. Good from you. It's a bit of character work, but it's a guy who's moving at half speed. Yeah, great. I cannot wait to see your solo show in the 2023 International Comedy Festival. 101 characters in 10 minutes by Vaughan Smith.

101! Jeepers. Good luck to you. I'm going to have an auto-cue. They're always going to say it's the character. You're going to have an auto-cue for a live show that doesn't have a camera. It's called a script in hand. Correct. No, no, no. It's not going to be in hand.

It's just going to be, well, someone's going to hold up cue cards at the back. Great. With the different characters. Good stuff. I'm not going to be able to remember 101 things. Man who talks slow. You're like, ah, there I am. I know the guy.

Disgruntled Irish farmer, go. The bloody government. That was good, that was good. Really good. Because farmers love blaming the government. Yeah, yeah. Shy little gal on her first day of school. Where's my watch box? Okay, stop now.

A disappointed father Who's had a couple of drinks Oh That's what you bloody kids Are on about That's just you at night Yeah yeah He dropped into that

God What did Indy say last night Bussing That's bussing I was like No you don't Babe No you don't

Babe No you don't Oh it was about those It's about the chips We talk about on the show Just you wait Do you hear about these chips Oh my god

These chips We can't swear on air But we wait till you hear about these chips. Oh, my God. These chips. We can't swear on air, but we can swear we hear these fucking chips. These fucking chips. These have some of these fucking chips right now. These fucking chips are made of peas. Can we get a bag of fucking chips in here? Let's get some fucking chips up in this bitch. Yum.

Play Zeddy, Sledge, Vaughn, and Hayley. My Lord. What a kerfuffle. What's the kerfuffle? No news. That's old news. Are we repeating the news? Oh, my God.

That's not anybody here's fault, is it? Is it? No, it's nobody's fault here. Well, why are you looking like that for? Well, I'm looking out into the ether. Well, good job looking into the news ether. But don't look into the ether. That's not going to do bugger all.

Why don't you give us some news? I have fresh news. Who's in the news room? I'll do the news, guys. I've done the news before. We'll just pop onto the news. Hang on a moment. Kia ora, good morning.

It's 6.03am. The new Prime Minister. Boy, oh boy, he's rich. Is he? In the UK. Is he rich? Yeah. Like a billion pounds.

What? Yeah. How did he?? Yeah. Like a billion pounds. What? Yeah. Why do people with a billion pounds want to get into politics? I know. What a stupid, dumb, dumb, stupid old job. To represent the people. It feels like just ego, doesn't it? It does, yeah.

Represent the people who aren't billionaires. Also, he's rich, but also his wife is rich. She comes from daddy money. Yeah. What's the company? Linksys. Yeah. Links Africa.

Links. Sorry. They make links. Links Voodoo. Yeah. The Prime Minister's got to Antarctica. Oh, thank goodness. She had to do the turnaround.

Russian military scene simulating massive nuclear strike. Yeah, I'm just looking through the headlines. There's another cruise ship that may have COVID-19 riddled through it. Yeah, riddled, like 100 cases. Riddled. New population figures show a drastic change in where Kiwis are living. That's what Brad Olsen said. Bad news, Brad.

Oh, my God. what about this story? Youths in stolen cars opening doors deliberately, hitting cyclists. What the hell? The youths are out of control. I should say the youths are out of control. Bring back hidings, you know? Why?

I think it is too many. I think the youths that are doing this probably got hidings. So this is separate incidences in Christchurch. When I was a youth, we were too busy having a sneaky drink. Yeah. You know, sharing a cigarette in the bush. Naughty, naughty.

They need to get back into that naughtiness, not crime. Yes. We showed a few letterboxes who were boss, but we never, like, tangoed with living people. No, no. That's ridiculous. Coming up on the show, the top six. He was an investment banker at Goldman Sachs. Yeah, he was.

So you're talking about the UK Prime Minister. Yeah. Yeah. He worked for a hedge fund management. It is his wife's family's money, money, money. So who's she? Akshata Murthy. I'm sure I've pronounced that absolutely perfectly.

Spot on. Spot on. Well done. She's the daughter of. Oh, yeah, okay. So, oh, there's a bit of money. A bit of money. Money, money, money.

Well, that's the news That's the news Kia ora, good morning I'm Hayley Sproul Yeah That's the news In other news Kanye West and Adidas have broken up

After he's like gone from just being off the rails To just like plummeting his steam locomotive Into a ravine with some horrific anti-Semitic comments And the rest Yeah, and then like inciting other people to get on board. Yeah, there's like anti-Semitic signs around the States and you're going

you are actually causing damage. Yeah. Not just like, oh Kanye's at it again with his silly tweets. It's next level. So Adidas have said, you're out. And he's not a billionaire anymore. Forbes yesterday said that that makes him not a billionaire.

So he's a hundreds millionaire. He's just a millionaire now. Wowza. Okay. Suck it. Welcome to poverty. He's been taught. But his ego, his ego weren't like that.

No. No. No, no, no. Not at all. Are there the top six other controversial shoe collabs Adidas could look at instead? Oh, okay. All right, it's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, there's been debate online

about the English breakfast. You know, your standard big plate with your eggs. Saucy. Saucy. Half a tomato. Half a tomato. Sometimes a black put if we're talking real English. Yeah.

I won't say no. Did you say beans? Did you say beans? Sauce. Mushrooms often not no. Did you say beans? Sauce. Did you say beans? Sauce. Mushrooms often not included. That's a specialty. We'll tell you why there's been some debate online about the English breakfast. And then we too will debate.

Will we get one? Will we order one? I hope so. What's open? Journey to Hell. Online debate about the full English. The full English breakfast. You don't need to say breakfast.

You just say full English. Yeah. What are they saying as part of that family? Did you know of the variants? What? The variants of a full English breakfast. The full Irish? Oh, what's a full Irish?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guinness. Bacon, sausage, fried eggs. Yeah. White pudding. White pudding? Is it just fat? Let me click.

White pudding is, it consists of, oh, fat, oatmeal, barley, breadcrumbs. Oh, okay. Like a little filler patty. Yum, yum, yum, yum, breadcrumbs. Ooh. Okay, yeah. Like a little filler patty. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. No. I would eat. Black pudding.

Fat porridge. Fatty porridge. Fat porridge. Yum. A bit like overnight oats. Yeah. Fatty. And then there's the full Scottish.

Yeah. Back bacon, sausage, toast, beans. Man, that's not as much, is it? Oh. Oh, okay. I don't know. Other things included Scottish-style black pudding. Yeah.

Lawn sausage, which is sometimes called square. A lot of meat here. A lot of meat. More bacon. And Tatey scones. Those are scones made from taters. Oh, that'd be yum bacon. And Tatey scones. Those are scones made from taters. Oh, that'd be yum. Like little Tatey breads. The debate online isn't about how great the English breakfast is.

It's if you had to take one thing away from the English breakfast, the big breakfast, and I think we should... No, no, no. A big breakfast is different to an English breakfast. Yeah, because our big breakfast is... We've got like rosties and mushrooms and spinach. I think we should imagine we're getting a big breakfast, a big New Zealand breakfast. Because our big breakfast is, we've got like rosties and mushrooms and spinach. But I think we should imagine we're getting

a big breakfast, a big New Zealand breakfast because it is it. We should imagine it's an English breakfast. Where is the best big breakfast in the

country? Oh, that would be a fierce competition. You know, we've got the Pie Awards, we've got the Sausage Awards, we've got all these other awards.

The big breakfast awards are... It's a rostie over a hash brown. The debate online is if you had to take one of these things away... It's got to be the half tomato. What would it be? And the internet is just at war over this.

What do you mean at war? It's the half tomato. Yeah. It's the only representation that, like, veg has on the plate. There's baked beans on there again. Well, apart from, like, beans or potato, if there's a hash. It's potato. There's always potato. Yeah. Vegetables. I love the tomato or potato, if there's a hash. It's potato. There's always potato.

Yeah. Vegetables. I love the tomato though because it's, yeah, it's different. No, but you know when you go to a real. But I don't know what else I take off instead. Maybe the beans. You know when you go to a real cheap big breakfast, like the one where they put a little tray of butter on it.

You know, they don't butter your toast. They just slab one of those little clicky plastic trays. Queen Elizabeth II over here wants her bloody toast buttered. I'm talking budget big brekkie. Oh I like that because then you can decide how much butter to put on. If they butter it for you they'll skint you on the butter. No but if they do a tomato it's been grilled for all of

two seconds. You know what I mean? And it's like a raw tomato. I love fried tomatoes. But they've got to be well fried. Yeah. On extreme heat. Well what are you removing if not the tomato? I love fried tomatoes. But they've got to be well fried. Yeah, on extreme heat. Well, what are you removing if not the tomato? I don't know. Beans? Get off.

No, but you need the beans for the... I don't need the beans. Yeah. For the wetness. Gives you a bit of sog in your toes. No, because I'll get the sauce. I'll get sauce on there. Like a bit of HP.

It's not... They're not interchangeable, sauce and beans. But the beans is just basically sauce. I don't enjoy beans. Oh my God, I love beans. No, no, no, no. What if they're doing, what if it's a fancy place and it's their smoky beans? Oh, nah.

Home made beans. Because then they'll be using a bigger bean as well. They'll be using a big dry broad bean or something. Too big, too dry. Okay. I'm with you though. It's a tomato. It's the half tomato. It's the half tomato.

It's the half tomato. Get a grip. No one's getting rid of the sausage. No one's getting rid of the bacon. Tell you what, I bet people get rid of the mushrooms because you know people hate mushrooms. Yeah. I love a mushroom, but there are people that hate the mushroom.

Well, I hate them. Okay, big call. If you hate mushrooms, please know I hate you. No, it's the half tomato. I won't hear another word about it. Okay, I'm just looking you hate mushrooms, please know I hate you. No, it's the half tomat. I won't hear another word about it. Okay, I'm just looking at the official list of foods included that may or may not be part of it. Oh, give us some extras.

Grilled smoked mackerel or kippers. Oh, that's very British. You scraped your nose. Yeah, but the kippers. Queen Elizabeth II loved kippers. Loved a kipper. Loved a kipper. In Wales, they'll put a cockle in there.

A little shellfish. No. They've lost their minds. No, they've lost their minds. America was the first to add biscuits or English muffins. Also, the corned beef hash. How good is a corned beef hash? In the US, pancakes are often included in the honey bread.

I didn't even bring breakfast today. Not even a protein shake. You've got one apple for breakfast. One manky, like the mankiest apple you could ever see. Well, enjoy that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the yummy ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hi there.

No more yeezys. Any of us have officially said, nah, mate, you're too far. You've gone too far. Yeah. Anti-Semitic comments from Kanye West and just... It's going to be hard to come back from this. Yeah, and that was, they reckon, a $2 billion collab. And then people said, Adidas won't pull the plug

because they make too much money on it. And Adidas have said, well, we're pulling the plug. We're pulling it. Also, they make tons of money elsewhere. They'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Got something in my mouth.

Eyelash in my mouth. It was an eyelash in my mouth. Gosh. So they'll probably be looking for another controversial collab because, you know, while he was Kanye but not full-blown racist Kanye, the crazy Kanye, he was getting them lots of publicity, making them lots of money. People loved these shoes.

People would line up outside the shoe referee. Number one shoe warehouse. The shoe clinic. The shoe clinic. The shoe clinic. And that step on the little man. The athlete's foot. That step on the machine. Yeah.

And the orthopedic specialist, of course, would say, ah, you put pressure on the outside of your foot. You need these $8,000 Yeezys. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Now, I think they're more of you recommending your Asics or your New Balances, aren't they?

Yeah. Well, I've got the top six controversial collabs for the next. Adidas shoe. Number six on the list, the Moccasin Jackson. This is Michael Jackson's Moccasin. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Moccasin.

Moccasin Jackson. Yeah. Moccasins. That's controversial. Yeah. Yeah. Moccasins. That's controversial. Yeah. Yeah, controversial, but comfortable. The moccasin, of course, being a sort of a... A loafer of kinds? Yeah.

A soft, sort of like a slipper you'd wear outside? Yeah. An all-terrain slipper? You know the Birkenstocks now that are like, have the backs on them? Yeah. Is that like a moccasin? Oh, they look quite cool, eh? Mm, a lot of people wearing those.

Yeah, okay, you've seen those out and about. Number five on the list of the top six controversial collabs for the next Adidas shoe, the Charles Mann sandal. Yeah, I don't know if they're going to want anything to do with Charles Mann sandals. Strictly for men only as well. They don't do a woman's range. No, no, no, no, no. Charles Manson.

Yeah, it's just a real shambolic sandal. Yeah, okay. Just all loose, frayed and crazy. Number four on the list of the top six controversial collabs of the next 80-day show, the slip-on Napoleons. Oh, okay, yeah. The Napoleon slip-on. Wow.

The slip-ole-ion. You know, you just want some comfortable slides that, you know, really took the French Empire to the next level and, you know, had a great military mind but, you know, did some stuff. Slip-O-Lions. That's Slip-O-Lions. That's what you want from your shoe. Number three on the list.

They are the perfect shoe in the top six. Controversial collab for the next Adidas shoe for the summer. You've got your Pol Pot flip-flop. I don't know if they're going to want to be associated with Pol Pot. No. Pol Pot flip-flop. Are you wearing Pol Pots? Yeah, these are the Pol Pot flip-flops. Wow.

Yeah. They are cool. Yeah, they had to be of super simple design because he just wanted to take it right back to the basics. Number two on the list are the top six controversial shoe collabs for the next Adidas shoe. The Joseph Jelly Shoe Stalin. This is a little known fact about the brutal leader of Russia after World War II, the Soviet Union. Loved a jelly shoe.

Who? I don't know. Did he go glitter or plain? Glitter. And if a stone got in there, he'd send it to the gulags. Good Lord. Oh my God,

a stone in the jelly shoe, an absolute 80s crisis in your hands there. And number one on the list of the top six controversial co-leaders to the next Adidas shoe, the high-top Hitler.

Oh, no comment. No, absolutely no comment. No. But also, if you look at the absolute root of Adidas, the Dazzler brothers... Well, yeah, they were members of the... Nazi party. Yeah.

They made the boots. Look, we've all made bad decisions in our lives. My bad decision was an outfit in the Nazis, though. Yeah, mine was getting blonde, chunky streaks. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Have you noticed something different about me? I'm scrunchy. You're wearing a scrunchie?

You're wearing a scrunchie. No, I put in very little effort this morning. No, I mean more my energy. Somewhat more commanding. Somewhat more... Bulgy? Powerful. Bulgy? A bit much. A bit much. Pushy, lippy. A bit opinionated. Yeah, yeah. somewhat more commanding, somewhat more powerful. A bit much.

A bit much. Pushy, lippy. A bit opinionated. Yeah, yeah. Loud. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm a little bit drunk on power. Okay.

Now, the sad news is my marching coach and dear friend has COVID. Oh. Second time round. She's feeling all right. Now, that leaves the team in the hands of Coach Hayley. The most senior member. The old girl. The old girl.

The old gal. The old girl. You had to step up last night. Are you the oldest in your marching team? Oh God no, not by a country mile. Oh okay. Or Zimmer frames. No, I'm kidding. How are you in charge if you're not the oldest? Surely it's age of a beauty It's a long story

But because my coach And I have marched together For like 14 years Right So we're Insane I get her Yeah yeah

And her style Right So she actually passed The reins to me yesterday And I absolutely whipped The team into shape I didn't Right

I let them get away with a lot Okay One thing I've learnt about Because marching The whole thing is like repetition. So you have to go like, no, that's not right, Vaughn, do it again. No, that's wrong, do it again. And again, and again. And even if you're going,

I don't want to do it again, I'm like, I don't care. You haven't got it right, go again. Whereas like, I'm such a people pleaser that I'm like, okay, one more time. Sorry, no, that's not quite it. We'll go one more, one more. But I've got to tell you, the power's pretty nice. Well, but when you're coaching, you can't be watching.

So you can't be marching because you'd have to be watching. I was doing a bit of both. Yeah, I was sort of jumping in and jumping out. Right. Keeping a watchful eye on it. Because for people who don't know, like, what are you doing? Walking around So you want to know what's happening

No no I know There's a lot of Everything's in sync Yeah But like You're making patterns Formations But are they patterns that you guys invent?

Is it like Paris Goebbels and the dance crew? Are you inventing these moves And then you're learning the choreography to it? One's called technical Which you do the same Like all teams in your grade do the same. Yeah, do the same. And who decides that?

Grandmaster Pumba. Yeah, the designers. The big Pumba. Yeah, big Pumba. Right. And then there's a creative discipline called display, and you choose your own music and patterns and whatnot. Is that the one where you did the Star Wars march that time?

Yeah. Yeah, he liked that. I liked that one. We did a bit of marching to Star Wars. I knew Vaughn would like it. Yeah, right. But yeah, I got to exercise my sort of seniority yesterday. Wow.

And I've got a thirst for it. Well, what's going to happen now when the coach is back and you have to just be just another one of the team? I might poison her drink. No. No, but I think I'll be a bit more lippy from the back, you know? Just another one of the team. I might poison her drink. No. No, but I think I'll be a bit more lippy from the back, you know? Because I'm in the rear rank at the back.

Got a watchful eye. Wait, how many rows are there? Well, in a technical, you've got the leader out the front and then one, two, three of three. A block of nine. So 10 marches all up. Yeah. Did it used to be more? And then in display, it's 14.

And then you throw the wee lad up. Wait, there's 14? Where did the other four come from? What are they doing during technical? They're the ones that do the spins. They're on the side. They just watch. Yeah.

Sucks for them. So they're not as good because they haven't made it to the technical team. Well, you've got to work your way into the block. I wasn't making these decisions yesterday. It's like a reserve bench. Yeah, it is. You've got to reserve. But then reserves are just handy when you know You get towards the last

You know 20 minutes Of the 80 minutes Yeah Yeah And someone's pooped So you can switch them out But obviously there's no room for that Yeah

In marching Well here's the thing right Is we've got our very first competition This weekend First competition Who against? Well it's just local Auckland So it'll be quite small

But Name them Name them Call them out No I'm not calling them out Trash talk them Look I studied sports psychology at Wintec. No, you didn't.

I did. I did. I did. And you've got to get into your opposition's mind. Sports psychology at Wintec. You've got to get... No, I'm not trash talking. This is a very gracious sport.

We don't have any of that. You do it on the field. No, you should trash talk them. You trash talk them. Trash talk them. You've it on the field. No, you should trash talk them. Vaughan's right. You've got to. You tell me, who's this team? I'm not trash talking no one.

Who's this team? I'm not giving you names. Give me a name and I'll show you how to trash talk. The East Auckland Brigadiers. Oh, the East Auckland Brigadiers. God, you guys got metronomes out there? Because you can't keep a bloody time. Can't keep a step.

Can't keep a step. That's terrible trash talking. I haven't seen such terrible marching since the Germans retreated from Paris. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, make it personal. Go for their mums. Ah, yeah.

Oh, man, who taught you to march? Your mum, the dumb... That was just me. You need to go back to Wintec and finish that course, I think. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago. You know, I learned in the early 2000s where you could just call anybody anything, you know?

Yeah, right. Snowflakes nowadays. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. You know, on a modern toilet, so one that's not pulling a chain from the roof, we have one of those. Or the handles?

Yeah, or the handle. The crank handle. Oh, those are horrible. What about the ones where you've got to keep cranking and cranking and cranking to get the water flowing? That's good stuff. You know, we were using less water. Yes.

Well, this is the thing. So there's a debate online about the modern toilets. They have a big button and a small button. Yep. And I used to go, it's a poo's button and a wee's button. It's the same. The small button's for wee's. Yeah.

But often on a toilet, the small button works better than the big button. And they do this for a reason. So the small button should be enough to suck away anything. Right. Really. And it's, I mean, in theory, that's exactly what it is, is that the small button uses less water and the big button uses more water.

So if you've got more to flush away. Use the big button. Use the big button. Yeah. But when they, Thames Water did a big survey online about what people assume these were for. And most of people said that it was a poo button and a wee button.

Yeah. But they were like, it's about so much more than that. And this whole theory of the buttons came about when there was droughts. So they weren't like poo or wee buttons. They were drought button or we're okay button. Right. So you would use the small one during times of drought where you were trying to save water.

Right. Because it uses half the amount of water. The big button usually uses six litres of water. Oh, wow. Okay. That's too much water. It's a lot for a poop. You know what I mean?

Yeah, but I like to get it all down. I want it gone. I know, because that's the thing. It's like if I use a small one, and then I've got to do a double or a triple flush, I should have just used the big one in the first place. Do a quick little tap flush before you poo. That lubricates the bowl with a bit of water.

So there's no stickage. Lay a paper pad. Poop. You're wasting a lot of water and paper. No, no, no, no, no. You're using less, because then you can probably get away with a smaller flush at the end, depending on size of deposit.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a science to this. Nicely put. Yeah, there is a science to it, but that's too much admin. Well, you want to scrub it? I just leave it for the next person. No, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.

But anyway, they create these buttons, right, for a droughty time or a fine time. But then what happened is toilets that have these little double buttons are more likely to leak. I'm not quite sure why, but they said they're more likely to leak with like little dribbles.

Into the bowl, yeah, because they're two different seals. Yeah. So you're doubling up the chances. Maybe that's it. Because I had to replace one of those. Oh, yeah. The canister thing in the middle.

Because I always feel, yeah, the little tube bit. Yeah, I took it all out, bought a new one. Because I always feel like on 80% of the toilets that you use, one of them's broken. And you can set the levels on the different sides so you could set how far up the water got. Oh, no, no. It must have been how far up it pulled it before it plonked back down.

So the smaller button was lower. Excuse me. So it came up less before it went back down, whereas the big flush went up higher before it came back down. Yeah. Letting more water in. Because I just think they're always broken. I tend to smash them all.

Does that mean I'm using... You push both of them, it's... Three times the water. I don't know if it's the equivalent of the big one or a little bit more because you're only in there a little while as well. No, it must only be the equivalent of the big one. I just sort of mash my fingers into it. I just go, get rid of it now.

How nerve-wracking is a hold to flush? You know when you push the button and nothing happens and you're like, oh, I'm in trouble. And then you see like a little like paper printed sign on A4 on the back of the door saying, hold for five seconds. And you're just praying to the gods. And then it goes.

And you're like, oh my God, thank God. Puts on a big show. You're like, calm down. I still think having a plane toilet at home would be amazing. Oh my God, we're renovating our house at the moment. And I would love a plane toilet that just no matter what just goes. Because you know how American toilets are more full with water? That's the idea with them. Yeah.

Is that they create like a suction when you flush as well. Yeah, but then everything floats if you've used an American toilet. Everything floats very close to you. No. It's not good. It's not good. No, no, no. I don't want a bar of it. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy. It's so rich and good. Yummy, yummy. A segment of the show where we take a look at new food items that have hit the shelves. It's this time of the year, eh, where like lots of companies come out with a new flavour or a Christmas version of something. Yeah, it's a Christmas version.

Yeah, we mentioned the Whittaker's gingerbread, the new Whittaker's gingerbread. Yeah. Earlier in the week, today, we've got two items on the agenda. Now, I don't know, how new is this chip? Well, they just arrived. Well, it was in my fitness pill, which surprised me. Scanned the barcode and it told me...

Right, they might have been out for a while. They just sent us a box and I tell you what, it's worked. They're bloody delicious. Something to crow about. Pea crisps. So we know the Harvest Pea Snaps. I've been hooning Harvest Pea Snaps for ages. I can hoon a whole bag of Harvest Pea Snaps

in like 30 seconds. It's like five serves per bag. Get a grip. I can hoon a whole bag of Harvest Pea Snaps in like 30 seconds. It's like five serves per bag. Get a grip. I remember when somebody told me that it's mullied up pea and then they just put it back into pea shape. Mind-blowing. Because it's shaped like the pod and the pea and you don't eat the pod on a pea.

On a snow pea you might, but they're not blowing snow peas on the pea mush. It's like a chicken nugget, you know? Mullied up and recast into the It's like a chicken nugget, you know? Mool it up. Yeah. And recast into the natural shape of a chicken, of course, a boot, a bell, or whatever the other ones are. A nugget on there just by the kidneys. Yeah, that's correct.

So these are pea crisps, but they are dill pickle. Oh, my God. And they? I have fully embraced the pickle flavour revolution. Same. Everything's pickle. Burger sauce. Yeah.

We made kiwi onion dip, right? You know, kiwi dip. Yeah. The other day. And we didn't have like vinegar or lemon and we were just like dousing the juice from a pickle jar into it and it was like pickle dip. And then we cut up pickle and put it in it.

Oh my God. Parsley, pickle, pickle juice. Dude. Pickle dip. And then we did a little song. Every time God. Parsley, pickle, pickle juice. Dude. Pickle dip. And then we did a little song. Every time we ate it, we're like, pickle dip. I mean, it writes itself. I want a little bit of pickle dip.

Pickle dip, pickle dip. Give me just a bit of the pickle dip. Well, these are pickle chips. And, oh, my God. Speaking of McDonald's, they taste like the gherkin in a cheeseburger. So good. So good. So, shout out to them.

And they're not guilt- guilt free but they're very low guilt sort of like white collar crime i'm just gonna have a little versus murder yeah there's no victim when you're in bezling from a fortune 500 company yeah you're just taking a little higher just taking a little bit yeah yeah so good okay next on the agenda is uh something right up your rally yeah excuse me, these pickle chips. We've got a job to do. Stop eating the chips. Pickle chip and pickle dip?

Yeah. Pickle squid? Yep. Oh, my God. Okay. This one is my cup of tea. Vaughan knows I love a Bailey's. She's an auntie, eh?

I love a Bailey's. I do not love a Bailey's. I got into it because my beautiful Catholic in-laws, that's their drink of choice. They don't drink very much at all. Catholics love a Bailey's. Why? They love a Bailey's.

Do they reckon God's watching and he'll think it's just chocolate milk or something? A mild milky drink, maybe. But, so I love a Bailey's. If we've got Bailey's in the pantry, it won't last long. But Bailey's is released in... Do you keep Bailey's in the fridge? I would keep it in the fridge. The minute it's opened, it would be full refrigerated. Nah,'t last long. But Bailey's is released. You keep Bailey's in the fridge? I would keep it in the fridge. The minute it's opened, it would be full refrigerated.

Nah, serve it on ice. It doesn't matter. We drink it so fast. Right, it doesn't get a chance to curdle. So Bailey's got a new summer flavour. Summer Berry Pavlova. Oh. Pavlova. Sweet. How?

How does something taste like egg white? Well, no, it'll taste like a beautiful, sweet, sugary meringue. Right. Oh, God. I don't know too much. Yeah, that might be too much. It's said to indulge your palate with creamy meringue and the tart yet delicious taste of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.

Too many flavours. They say enjoy it over ice or in a creamy cocktail comprising of the Baileys, vodka and milk. But the milk, the Baileys, is the milk. I know. Add more milk. Add more milk. More milk.

Baileys, it looks delish. I want to try some. Baileys, they've got a whole lot of crazy flavours. Birthday cake flavoured Baileys. Oh yeah, a whole lot of crazy flavours. Yeah, because what did they release? Birthday cake flavoured Baileys. Oh, yeah, that's right. They do a tiramisu, like a...

Don't eat. We're on air. Pickled dip. They've got a little pickle chip. It's nice not being the least professional person. Even if it's only for a moment. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Sad day. It's a sad day. It is a sad, sad day. Oh, sorry. I'm trying to get through this. Oh, thank you. That's appropriate. Sad music for a sad announcement. Ford, the car makers,

are retiring one of its most famous cars. They've sold millions and millions and millions of these cars over a period of 46 years. For 12 years, between 2009 and 2020, it was the number one best-selling car. You'd wonder why they're getting rid of it. Ford has announced that they are retiring the humble Ford Fiesta. This is your little two-door, small little nanny car.

Yeah, not to be confused with the Festiva. No. Different, yeah, different cars. Very similar. The difference between the Ford Festiva and the Ford Fiesta, and they're very, very similar. This would have been a lot of people's first car because it was such a great mum car. Yeah.

A hand-me-down. Oh, absolutely. And a cheap first car. It was my first boyfriend's first car. So no more. God, I'd like to see your current boyfriend in a Ford Fiesta. God, he wouldn't. It'd be like that episode of The Simpsons.

Are you laughing at me because it's my automobile? So they've said that it's part of their reset of Ford's portfolio DNA as they move towards a more electric future. It's a strategic decision to make way for a new Ford.

The Ford Fiesta was the car I drove in Sega Rally. Remember Sega Rally at the arcades? Yeah. The Ford Fiesta was absolutely car I drove in Sega Rally. Remember Sega Rally at the arcades? Yeah. The Ford Fiesta was absolutely banging in that game. They were either nana cars, like little nannies,

or people would, like, soup them up. Yeah, they were amazing rally cars. So why don't they just make a Fiesta electric? They're not interested because they said the way of the future, people are more interested in, like, sports utility vehicles or, yeah, like SUVs and utes. And as they move towards electric cars, people are more inclined to get a bigger one because it's, you know, like you think of a big car, you think big output in terms of pollution. You think of big car, you know, big. I was like, I don't know if that's a thing.

You know what they say about big cars. Yeah, and they just think that in the future that people aren't going to want these little cars. They said 40% of Ford's passenger vehicle sales were SUVs and crossovers, like mini SUVs or small, like kind of hatchback things. Is it because this is the small EVs, right? Is it because the batteries are too big and the vest is too little?

No, because you think your Leaf. Yeah. Your Nissan Leaf, that's a tiny, tiny little electric car. So embarrassing. Sorry, I got a little bit of merit. Sorry, it's like I said, a little bit. It got on a little bit of merit. No, they drove Toyota Aquare. Oh, they drove the Aquare.

A hybrid. The Leaf's even worse than an Aquare. But anyway, yeah, so it's to be no more. I don't know, the Festiva got retired in like 2002. Did it? Yeah, the Festiva's been gone for 20 years. So that's the Fiesta and the Festiva. So many memories.

Your escorts. Yeah. Ford escorts. If you go back to the lost little Fords. Ford escort. How many people were driving those

back at school? Yeah, right. The Ford Laser. Oh, yeah, the Laser. My friend had a Laser. Yeah, what about the Telstar? Oh, my mum had a Laser. Yeah.

The Ford Telstar. Uncle Murray had a Telstar. I think he put it around the clock. Is Uncle Murray importing fireworks for the upcoming season? He hasn't done that for bloody years. Get him back importing fireworks.

No, he lost his licence. Oh, God. No, it just expired. It just expired. He lost it. Right, okay. Jeepers. Well, the fest is no more. Go get yourself a diesel ute. Diesel costs more than 91 now.

Yeah. Next on the show, there's been some problems in the hut in Wellington. God, I love the hut. Lower. Lower.

Lower. There's been some lower issues. Not upper. Nah, lower. Upper's got its own problems. But they're totally different to the lower problems. Very different problems.

They're next. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. You, um, you weren't a boy scout? Nah. I did girl guides. Did you?

Because of the biscuits. You just followed the biscuits. I wanted the blanket with all the badges and the biscuits. Yeah. I didn't do it either. I once went to brownies with a friend. What's the difference? Brownies grow into girl guides.

Oh, right. And cubs grow into scouts I once weaned and my only memory I don't remember a single thing from it Was afterwards the mother Of my friend dropped me off And my parents weren't home And she just left me in the driveway I was so young, left me in the driveway and drove away

And I remember just like sitting in those windy Dark scary driveway being like I don't know why I didn't go up to the front door of the house. Kids are weird. They're stupid, you know. I just sat in the driveway. My mom was like, what? That's my only memory.

Well, it's good to see that it taught you some survival skills. I did actually. I might buy this $40 vintage wool blanket with Scouts and Girl Guide badges all over it on Trade Me and then just tell people I did. Yeah, fair call. There's a real busy local Scouts in Girl Guide badges all over it on Trademan. They just tell people I did. Yeah, fair call. There's a real busy local Scouts in our community, and they do all sorts. Like I mentioned, I think, a while ago that Aaron went

and got all-you-can-eat pancakes to support the local Scouts. And I was like, what do you mean? He said, yeah, I went on my own down to the local community hall, and I had paid $10 in all-you-can-eat pancakes. How many could he eat? He can eat a lot. Yeah, yeah, but like did he eat more than $10? No, I think he ate, no, nah,

I think he was being respectful. Yeah, because that's scouts, isn't it? You've got to look him in the eye as you're eating your 1,000th pancake. He was into scouts when he was a kid and he said to me, he was like, I might get involved as sort of like a scout leader and I was like, it's a bit weird, dude, you don't have kids. That's true. Yeah, that's quick question marks,

question marks Yeah Well apparently If you participate In those organisations You're likely to have Better psychological health In middle age Wow And

Tie a knot And tie a Yeah I can tie a pretty good knot And light a fire Because it gives you Like all the skills That you need later in life

It helps you At a young age Develop qualities Such as self-reliance, resolve and desire for self-learning. How? Yeah. This makes so much sense. So you should have kept at it. I should have kept at the brownies.

But George's mum just touched me in the dry ones. Yeah, but then you would have made a rope out of flax and climbed up through the window of your house to get in. I could have. See? Now what if it was George's mum? Why was she in such a hurry to get out of there? Because it was the 90s or the 80s.

You just left kids on the driveway. It doesn't matter. It was the 90s. Yeah, it was the 90s. Always saw a child at least go through the front door. No, not in the 90s. Not in the 90s. And my house was, like, way away from the garage.

It was, like, in Eastbourne, so everything was up a hill. Yeah. And then the driveway was down low. And then yeah, I remember just sitting there and I remember the wind howling and it turned like pitch black. So what, your parents got home and they find you just cowering in the middle of the driveway? Crying. I've probably wet my pants as well.

It was the 90s and all I did was wet my pants. Where was your brother? I don't know. Was he with them? No. I'm on George's mum's side. Yeah. Get out. No, no, it was a long, dark driveway.

She's a young girl. She's got to get home and make dinner. Probably mints. I don't imagine it would have been. I bet she would have had some frozen veg in it. Curry powder. Curry powder. And probably macaroni elbows.

Yeah. Yeah, yum. She's a dry bastard and hard to get on a fork. You'd be better to eat it with a spoon because she's made the mints so crumbly. George's mum. Famous for her dryi elbows. Yeah. Yeah, yum. Dry as a bastard and hard to get on a fork. You'd be better to eat it with a spoon because she's made the mints so crumbly. Yeah.

Georgia's mum, famous for her dry mints. Her dry curried mints with macaroni. God, see that's the thing, Georgia might have had better psychological health

later in life, but all that dry mints at a young age gave her digestive issues through her teens. Yeah, I would have got pud when I went in as well.

You know what I mean? A hot steamed pud. Mum would have made me a beautiful dinner and a hot steaming pud when I went in as well. You know what I mean? A hot steamed pud. Mum would have made me a beautiful dinner and a hot steaming pud. Put you in the bath and meanwhile George is struggling

down another mouthful of Mums Dry Nuts. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices,

a segment of the show, hello new listeners, where we always address new listeners to the show. Always. We welcome you. We welcome you with open arms. But if you're not the hugging type, high five. And if you're not the high five type, tip of the hat good morning to you.

We'll wave at you from a distance. Let's see. Yeah. My wave to be a little creepy. Okay. Hello. Oh, no, it's not the wave, mate. It's your smile.

Yeah, it's teaming them all up. It's very top teeth heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello. So, basically, you see things on your local Facebook page. Your local, you know, like you join your community page because you forgot what day Rubbish Day is. Yeah. Or that sort of thing.

Maybe your kid's selling raffle tickets and you're like, maybe someone in the community will want to buy them. And you join there and then you are just like, holy hell. It's crazy. People just post everything on here. Yeah. There's no filters telling these people to stop talking. So if you see anything, screenshot it, send it to us on our socials. Yeah.

So let's start. I don't want to start. Let's just say the East Auckland grapevine always comes in hot. Oh, yeah, always. And now that you can anonymously post to groups, people are coming in even hotter. But I'm not going to start there. I'm going to start with the Cambridge New Zealand Grapevine,

your online community and information, where M-A-I-J-A, Maja. No names. Maja. No names. Maja. No, no, no, this isn't a bad one. Maja wants to be known.

She said, hi, everybody. Someone called the council again yesterday panicking that there was a dead horse in the paddock. I'm very sorry that he does this, but my horse, Slim Shady, sleeps perfectly on his side flat out with his legs out stiff. I don't know why he does this.

Like a toy. Like a toy horse. It's just falling over. There's a picture. She's like, look, this is what he sleeps like. Oh, my God, it looks dead. Because animals don't tend to sleep like this. No, they don't.

Especially not stiff-legged. Oh, my God, that is hilarious. And you see a sheep sleeping like that, and it's bloated in the middle. It's probably dead. So don't stop with your kids and be like, oh, look, the sheep's sleeping. The sheep's entered the forever sleep. Yeah. And sheep will just do this.

Sheep are just like, Thursday? Oh, no. I just remembered. I'm a sheep. I better die. Stupid sheep. So better die. Bleh. Stupid sheep. So he does this. It's super unfortunate that he decides to do it right next to the footpath.

But if you see a dead white horse, please don't call the council. I promise you he's not dead. Again, I'm very sorry about him. I love that someone's apologizing for their horse. Maybe they need a sign on the fence. My horse sleeps like this. Yeah, that's actually a good. Yeah.

Yeah, that's like a don't feed this animal or like this animal's not hungry. It just acts like it. Etc, etc. This one from the Moroka Community Grapevine. Whoever keeps getting

their back broken on Sorry? Whoever's getting their back broken on or back broken on. Sorry? Whoever's getting their back broken on or back broken on or near Keats Street, can you please close your windows next time or keep it down a bit? Oh. I'm happy for you guys.

I truly am. I knew where that was going. Right, I didn't know. I was like, jeepers, get into a hospital. This is an Australian maruka community grapevine. It's Australian spelling. It's Australian spelling. It's M-O-O-R-O-K-A.

Right, yeah. I'm really happy for you guys but the high-pitched squeal you make keeps setting the dogs off. Ah! Who's?

Eee! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!! Yeah. It's like, that sounded like Mini-Me of Austin Powers. No, you sound like a dolphin. Let's go, let's do this. Let's go to East Auckland. The East Auckland Grapevine.

There's a picture of a blue, I'll set the scene. There's a picture of a blue car. Okay the scene there's a picture of a blue car okay looks like a sporty I don't know what it is maybe it's definitely a Japanese car okay

if your daughter left home wearing a really baggy red hoodie with a guy who was driving this car

please tell them to get a room they pulled over outside our house they both got out the male got in the passenger seat, laid it horizontally back. The girl climbed in,

appeared to be bobbing for apples for some time. Then it looks like she may be administering CPR from sitting on top of him. Oh, okay. Now this is totally inappropriate. Even worse for the driver to give me an intimidating, threatening look as he went back around to the driver's side when he realised our curtains were open. Now, I can tell you from the photo they took of this car and the CPR reaction.

Yeah. This is in broad daylight on the side of a suburban street. This isn't a cul-de-sac. This is the side of a two-way suburban street in broad daylight. Wow. He gave me an intimidating, threatening look as he went back to the driver's side when he realised our curtains were open and we were getting the groceries out of the car with our children. Photo taken while sitting on our couch.

There were people walking and kids riding their bikes straight past the car as it happened. Jeebus. Photographic action. I may not believe this. If there wasn't photographic action. Evidence. Evidence. Evidence, Your Honour.

I present to you evidence. Wow. What did the grapevine say about that? Oh, the grapevine popping off. It'd be popping. He used to walk on grapevine. Popping off. Yeah, I bet. It'd be popping. He hates the Auckland grapevine. Popping off. In broad daylight.

In broad daylight. Look, no exaggeration. Broad daylight. My goodness me. Broad daylight. Broad daylight. Sometimes you just can't wait. Let's find a cul-de-sac.

Industrial area after five. Nice. Cold the sack. Dark reserve with no light thing. Come on. Come on now. Come on, East Auckland. I was going to say you're better than this. I just don't believe it is.

It's Auckland's worst area. East Auckland. East Auckland's the best. What is it? No character. Do you think that's judging by the community notices that we get sent? From East. Have you ever been to East Auckland. East Auckland's the pits. What is it? No character. Do you think that's judging by the community notices that we get sent? From East. Have you ever been to East Auckland?

It goes forever. I know you do. You get up and you're like, how much further can the Pakuranga Highway go? It just goes forever. And then you're in Botany Town Centre. You're like, how the hell did I get here? And then they're like, oh, yeah, no. It's further out to Bucklands.

Don't let a couple of people sully your experience. It's a lovely area. Name one lovely thing about East Auckland. Stop sucking up to East Auckland. They've got an ice rink, don't they? Not sure. Good. Everything's kind of there. It's over the bridge. The people are very good looking.

Yeah. A little hoity-toity. Good looking people. West Auckland. Character. Thick, rich, history, character, and a real melting pot. You're saying that because you live there. It's a beautiful area. There's rough parts, but they're wholesomely rough. South Auckland.

Character. Boom, boom, boom. History. Hardworking people. Industry. East Auckland. What is that? Shots fired. Absolute shots.

Good morning to all of our East Auckland listeners. Get a personality. I'm happy to have you listening to the show this morning. You guys should try other parts of Auckland. You'll love it. You've got to try the west. You simply must try the west. Nobody wants to try the west. It's wild. Other parts of Auckland. Shut up, central.

Oh my god, let's not get started on central. Oh my god, it's not even a place. It's not even a people. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, including, I don't know, rambunctious teenagers unable to keep their hands off each other, driving a car that would cost them a fortune to insure if they're under 25,

screen cap it and send it to us, F-E-H-Z-M, on all the socials. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. There was a... Are you all right? Yeah. What were you doing? Trying to quietly bend my mic back down. Now you just go like this.

Oh, my God. Get it out of the way. I was being respectful and trying to do it quietly. You've got... In the studio, Fletcher's microphone's on an arm. Yeah. Yours is on an arm. Ours is on these big, doofy, heavy basses. Yeah.

Ours can't be moved. You'd be doof-doofing with a heavy bass. I wouldn't be doof-doofing because I'm a broadcasting professional. You'd be doof-doofing. Yeah, I'm not. You'd be doof-doofing. Speaking of doof-doofing, there was a bit of bloody doof-doof down in the hut at the weekend. The hut loves a doof doof Speaking of doof doofing There was a bit of Bloody doof doof Down in the hut At the weekend The hut loves a doof doof

The hut loves Sort of a warehouse Doof doof It would have been A great spot In the early 2000s For a warehouse rave Yeah man

You know why I would have been there In your entneys I would have taken Those off mate I just needed to Let my feet breathe. You know, get some glow sticks, you know.

Weirdly, in low light, my pupils are like wildly massive, you know, painted in UV paint. Just free love. Free love on a free love highway. So there was a rave. However, this one was called the bush doof. That indicated it did indeed happen in the bush and it was a rave However this one Was called the Bush Doof That indicated It did indeed happen In the bush

And it was a doof Yeah Lots of places For that to happen In the hush Well this Surrounded by bush Up in the hills

Yeah The Horokiwi area Oh classic Yeah up there Hilly area Yeah Many valleys Hills

Forested areas, and two different councils were trying to find, two different noise control councils got called and could not find the source of the noise. And this was going all night, this stuff. Yes, it was a 24-hour rave. So they couldn't follow the duff. They couldn't follow the duff. They couldn't follow the duff.

Through the bush. But if it's reverberating around the hills. Hard to track down the duff. And then the trees, eh, where sound just kind of goes round and round. Yeah. Wow. It might have been absorbed from the area it was coming from because of trees, but had a clear passage to bounce off some hard surfaces elsewhere.

Yeah. It was very deceptive. It was very deceptive. Right. Very deceptive. But couldn't they just drive up into the hills and listen? The sound noise control people? No, because they got up there and it was also yodeling weekend in the hut.

And all they could find was yodelers. A pack of yodelers. Is it a gaggle of yodelers? It's a yaddle of yodelers. So what, they got away with this 24 hour doof? Back of Yodelus. Yeah, up on the hill. Is it a gaggle of Yodelus? It's a yaddle of Yodelus. It's a yaddle of Yodelus. A yaddle of Yodelus. So what, they got away with this? Yeah. This 24-hour duff.

They couldn't be found, yeah. Well, they're good for them. Hunt residents couldn't sleep. At least they weren't, because for me, the hut was all about the house party. So I think they've done a respectful thing. Was the hut Wellington's house party suburb? Or like Newtown. But for me, because I grew up in Eastbourne,

which is like around the end. You wouldn't have a house party around there because everybody would struggle to get there and back, wouldn't they? Yeah, and you'd break everyone's Fabergé eggs. You know what I mean? You had to sort of be quite careful. Yes. But the hut was like town to me.

When you went to the hut, it was like, hey, big city. Yeah, right. It was pretty cool. Wow. And then when I started going to house parties, yeah. They were big, but people would always complain. So I think they were doing a respectful thing by having it in the bush. Taking it in the bush.

Having their doof in the bush. Well, they said we're not out here to annoy people. That's why we did it so far away from the houses. But we understand sound can be loud. Well, next time maybe they need to do a silent. Sound can honestly be loud. Sound. Can be loud.

Can be the loudest thing. Well, why don't you do a silent disco doof? That's a great idea. Expensive, though, all the headphones. Bring your own BYO. And you know Bluetooth's always dropping out. Bluetooth is the worst technology. I can't believe we have an advanced Bluetooth.

Nah, yeah. To be... Or we have AirDrop. Maybe everybody could just plug in an aux cord. Yeah. In the bush. No, because then you'd have your... You're tethered.

You can't totally rave out like that. You might have a five metre cord. Give yourself some room. Big stringy bendy one. Five metres isn't far enough. Ten. But how many people are in the bush stuff? You're going to get tangled in the cord.

So many cords, so many tangles. I'm just thinking of some options. Yeah, it's like, you know, like those king rats and all their tails get matted together. We'd find all these ravers in the bush. All tied together with their... King ravers. King ravers. King ravers.

And then we'll have a real problem on our hands. They'll be like, ah, ah, ah. There'll be more than two councils involved. Yeah. Trying to separate that. King ravers. King ravers.

Anyway, so if you could hear that noise in the hut. That's why. Yeah. Bushed off. And I think they've actually found the people. Oh, no, they came forward, yeah. Yeah, right. And they're not sorry?

Well, no. One DJ, DJ Sha Kra, she isn't sorry. Right. She performed early Sunday morning, prime slot. Prime slot in the bush. Prime slot in the bush. She had a Pikachu backpack on. Oh, I can picture her. I can absolutely picture her.

She had a hell of a time. What was her slot? 3.30 Sunday. And the news article's got a picture of Tyler. He enjoyed an all-night session. There he is. He took a thermos. Now that's in your head.

I like to think he's got some soup in there. Good boy. You've got to fuel yourself. Something hot, but, you know, with a bit of body. And he's wearing a swanny. You've got to keep warm in the bush. Well, that's exactly right. You don't want to be ill-prepared for a night in the bush, do you?

They've thought of it all. They really have. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. And the 660 Saturday Stadium Tour kicks off in Wellington this Saturday. You can register ZM online and you and all your flat could win free tickets. Take your flatties. Speaking of 660, a lady's cat. Oh, my God.

I thought you were going to set it up and leave me with the absolute shambles of a segue. Speaking of 660, a woman's cat. No. We'll start fresh. Wow, 660, that's going to be a really fun concept.

Yeah, great. Anyway, guys, I've got one hell of a story for you. Just make it smooth. So I'm not big on Reddit. You dabble in a Reddit. Yeah, I dabble in a Reddit. I find it's really interesting when there's a name suppression case, how many people will break the law by just having a guess.

It truly pops off in that way. But it's also a place where a lot of people make confessions, anonymous confessions. Well, there's a thread called True Off My Chest, and it's kind of where people can like admit to something, get it off their chest in hopes that it would help them move on. So this guy shared a story

of about his wife and her cat. Now this cat he described as being aggressive, very aggressive. She had an all black cat he described as being aggressive, very aggressive. She had an all-black cat that was extremely aggressive. It scratched everyone, hissed at everyone, didn't use its litter box half the time. But his wife, who at the time was just his girlfriend,

insisted that she could get it to behave better eventually. Right. Now, at this point, they didn't live together. So she went away one weekend and asked him to go over and feed the cat. And he went to the apartment and went to feed it. And then he said he got there and it

scratched the S out of his arm. And he sort of joked to the room and to the cat I'll replace you if you scratch me again. The cat strikes again. Well, cats don't speak English, do they? Famously, no. Famously, they don't.

It doesn't quite work. So he went home and he was like, that bloody cat, I'm sick of it. Like, I can't believe I'm going to have to live with this thing if I stay with this woman. So the next morning he went to a local animal shelter. He found an identical cat who was already litter box trained.

The cat was a little skittish. Yeah. But not anywhere near as bad as the cat, the current cat. So he got the cat, replaced it, took the scratchy, aggressive cat back to a different shelter way out of town. Oh, I was going to say, you can't just go in for a like for like. No, he took it to a totally different place because he town. Oh, I was going to say, you can't just go in for a like for like. No, he took it to a totally different place because he was paranoid that his girlfriend would find it.

Now, the confession he's making is this was six years ago. We've been married four years. And she didn't know? They still have the swapped cat. It answers to the original cat's name. My wife knows nothing. She loves the cat. She always brags about how much better behaved it is

and that she was able to do it. And he said, every time I see it, I feel like a total piece of work. Wow. Isn't that wild that you could just like replace someone's cat? I mean, I would know if someone replaced my cat. Same. I'd know in a second.

But obviously this cat was like pretty new. And like with, I don't know, with my cat, it's like such like, pretty new. And, like, with, I don't know, with my cat, it's, like, such distinct, distinctive markings. Yeah. You know, when a cat is, like, all black, they, like, because I had a black cat growing up, and there's no, like, other colour on them. There's no sort of white mark or a little tabby bit.

What about the shape of their face or their ears or their tails? She loved this cat. He must have done a really good job matching that cat. Yeah. Isn't this wild? So I want to know. Or he made up a story to be popular on the internet. And we are absolutely feeding it.

We're like the cat. We're like the cat. Lapping at the cream at it. Yeah. Well, I want to know. What's that? Easy content on a Thursday? Hey.

Well, we won't talk about this cat anymore, but I want to know if you have ever made a swap without the person noticing So you could swap a goldfish Or a fish, easy I've done this, I once borrowed my best friend's top And somehow I was a teenager, I burned a hole in it Somehow

I just went and bought it and gave her another one back And she just never said anything about it Even though it was brand new Yeah I know And her though it was brand new. Yeah, I know. And her one wasn't brand new. She would have got it back and been like, God, this is. She's given it a wash.

She's given it a bloody good dry clean. Given it a wash. Yeah, but I wasn't going to give her a ciggy burned dress back. So you want stories not just about pets or any swap out. No, when you've just managed to make a swap and the person hasn't noticed. You've broken something or you didn't like something. You've kind of swapped it out. No, when you've just managed to make a swap and the person hasn't noticed. You've broken something or you didn't like something, you've kind of swapped it out. I mean, bonus points if you swapped out a pet without someone noticing. Oh, my God.

I don't know how. That is some Curb Your Enthusiasm. Maybe it was an episode of Full House. They had a goldfish. Yeah, see, you can swap out a goldfish. Easy. I think could you swap out a pet on a kid? Because, you know, kids are dumb.

Kids are thick, man. They know nothing. Kids are so thick. They don't know anything. How old a kid are we talking? Five. Yeah, yeah. Maybe.

Maybe if it was relatively new. But then it's hard to get a matching cat. Like, black cats, yes, but every other cat. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. It's kind of a plot of a TV show. A boyfriend changing out the girlfriend's cat

because he doesn't like it. Like a slapstick sitcom situation. And she, to this day, six years later, has no idea that he changed out the black cat for a nicer black cat. Yeah, their relationship is built on lies. But I'm happy they're still together and she doesn't know.

I mean, she loves the cat. No harm, no foul. There's some insane stories coming in on the text machine. Isn't there? Insane swap outs. So it doesn't have to be a pet but have you swapped out something?

Yeah, didn't get caught. Yeah, let's go to Bailey. Bailey, what's the story? So when I was younger, one of my friend's parents, so the father went overseas for about six months for work. And in the meantime, the mother basically decided that she wanted to live somewhere else.

So she actually bought a house on the same road, but further down, and moved all the stuff in. Obviously, when he came home, he noticed straight away. But yeah, basically just moved house completely on him. She just swapped of doors down. She swapped out the house. Same street, different number. He comes home and he's like,

I can't get in the house. She's like, oh, no, next door along. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, that is wild. It's definitely something you consult your partner on, isn't it? But, I mean, good for you. Well, you'd think so. You'd think so.

Bailey, thanks for your call. Alex, what did you swap out I'm wondering so I swapped out myself so I'm a identical twin oh my god this is this is like this is the dream right parent trap well yeah but it was with my students so I'm a second year school teacher so on April 1st day I sent my sister into school we planned to dress the same yeah and I hid her in a different building. And then I started my class. They were year 11, so they were about

15 years old. So I left the class, and then she went in and just pretended to be me. And it took about 10 minutes before they kind of cottoned on to something that was going on, because they thought she lived out of town. They knew she existed, but they'd never met her

and they didn't think she was around. So yeah, it worked out well. Fun. And then what area did you, imagine being a science teacher

and having an identical twin and not telling any of the kids and then be like, we're doing an experiment today, I think I've worked out cloning. You go into this club and be like, rah, rah, rah.

And then two come out. Oh my God. You sound like a cool teacher. I'm a music teacher so she managed to just sort of wing her way through some music for a bit. Music, eh? The easy subjects.

Yeah, yeah. She gets the support. Yeah, amazing. Brilliant. Alex, thanks for your call. We're talking about when you swap something out, whether it's a pet, like this wild story. Yeah, this guy just replaced his girlfriend's cat,

and she didn't notice, and six years on, she still doesn't know. Wild. Stacey, what did you swap out? Hey there, I swapped out my daughter's pet chameleon, and I ended up cooking in the sun accidentally. Don't laugh after you say that. It makes you sound like a psycho. Aren't they reptiles?

Can't they stand the sun? No. I put the tank in the sun, but I put quite a thick blanket over the top so it wouldn't escape. Yeah. Not realising, obviously, that it was forming this extreme heat inside the tank. Yeah, you did that. You made an oven, Stacey. Exactly.

So when I went to check on this little green chameleon, it was pitch black and sort of lying on its back and half dead. The chameleon was pitch black? It went pitch black. So that's what happens. Wow, that's what happens when they die. Yeah, wow. Okay, and then so

you just got another one. We did, yeah, we did chuck him in the pool and try and revive him but it didn't quite work. Have you ever dealt with anything that's living? You've personally... Okay, and your solution is, I don't know, drown it. You're not a sea monkey. but it didn't quite work. Have you ever dealt with anything that's living?

And your son or daughter is, I don't know, drowning. Not a sea monkey. I thought if I cooled it down it might revive it, but clearly not. No, it was dead. Yeah, so then I had to mission off to a few pet shops and try and find a little tiny green chameleon, which I did manage to find and paid a lot for, but my daughter never knew. Was this in New Zealand? Can you get a chameleon, which I did manage to find and paid a lot for, but my daughter never knew.

So I went and looked. Was this in New Zealand? Can you get a chameleon in New Zealand? No, no, no. This was back in South Africa. Oh, wow. How big was the chameleon? They're fascinating creatures with their eyes.

Oh, it was tiny. It was tiny. It could have been more than five centimetres. It was really a little one. So it felt really, really bad. I just would have told your daughter it's a chameleon. You can't see it. It's on the rock. Yeah, he's in there somewhere. Hello. That's what they do.

Stacey, thank you for your call. Lucy, what did you swap out? So this is some people I know, some twins. They were sitting there restricted licenses and their ID's got one of them kept failing. So the other twins set it for her.

Oh, my God. I can't blame her. Break the law. Well, actually, no more. Because now the one that can't drive is driving, actually. Yeah. How did that one do on the road with their twin's licence? Well, I'm not quite sure of the finer details, but there you go. Wow.

I mean, you would. I always wanted an identical twin. You'd have so much fun. Yeah, I thought that was pretty classic. So good. Lucy, thanks. Some messages in to finish. Lots of stories of budgies.

Oh, yeah. People say you don't really notice too much about a budgie. We were looking after a friend's budgie, and Dad got up in the middle of the night and walked past the cage and farted, apparently, and the bird made a squawk and then he looked and it was dead on the floor of the cage.

Now that sounds a bit like a dad yarn to me but I like it. It is. So the next morning I went to the shop and I took in the dead budgie and said I need a budgie

identical to this and they were like oh here's one that's the closest. He bought the budgie and the friends never know. Still don't know. What a stupid pet

that drops dead at a fart. Yeah, rabbits are the same. and the friends never know. Still don't know. What a stupid pet. Stupid. That drops dead at a fart. Yeah, rabbits are the same. Rabbits are the same. So somebody messaged in saying they were talking to their mates once and said, I bet I could switch my wife's car and she'd never even know. And they were like, what? And he's just like, I just don't think she'd know. So he went out and bought an identical car to his wife's car.

Different number plate. Yeah. Same colour. And then just one day just swapped the keys. She never noticed that the kilometres were lower and the number plate was different still to this day. Doesn't have any idea. But not even like your radio station was different or?

I don't know, maybe she's. Did he just say he got it valeted or something? No, I think he just said, can I borrow your car today or something? Weird. And then just switched it for one that was lower keys and different number plate and she never knew. Amazing.

The smell? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, maybe. Yeah, I see what you're saying about the valet now. Maybe, yeah. He was like, oh, no, I just got it cleaned for you because I love you so much, darling. Anything else that you've noticed different about it? Well, my favourite radio station isn't number one anymore.

Where's ZM? Nice. I hope that was good. Yeah, that was really good. Subtle plug. Real subtle. Subtle plug there. Yeah. So was really good. Subtle plug. Real subtle. Subtle plug there. Yeah.

So there you go. It can happen. Switch it out. God, people are dumb, eh? Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley's silly little pose. Silly little pose.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Put all speakers at the beach, at the lake, at the river, wherever you're chilling and there's some water and there's some water and there's some nice weather to be enjoyed

and it's relaxing and full of nature, should you have portable speakers? No. I'm a no. I'm a no. People put them on their bikes these days, in their pockets, walking down the street, on the beach, in the bush. Shut up. I went for a bushwalk and saw one in there and I was like, no, no, no, no,

we're trying to listen to the birds. I don't think a bushwalk and saw one in there and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We're trying to listen to the birds. I don't think a bushwalk should have portable speakers. But if you're at the beach, you're with your friends. I literally did this twice at the weekend with my friends at the beach. Shame. We had a Yui boom. Because he's such trash. He's so embarrassing.

What were you listening to? It wasn't Catchafire. It wasn't loud. It wasn't loud. You weren't listening to Catchafire. But I like the imagery. I like the imagery. You know't listening to Catch the Fire. But I like the imagery. I like the imagery. You know, just that kind of summer.

That's kind of gave me a summer feel. No, just a playlist. But you don't have it loud, loud. You have it enough that it's a bit of ambiance. You can hear it when you're lying down. Is there bleeding? Is there noise bleed? No, if there's no noise bleed, sure.

Enjoy your little quiet. But we're talking about people who like to crank it up loud. I mean, we weren't going loud. And there were other people with speakers, and they had it just in their area. If you saw Fletch at the beach recently, can you please let us know whether it was loud or not? I feel like you might be lying.

No, it was good. It was a good level. I can't stand it. You're against it. I'm anti. I don't know that I would say, shut up, we're trying to listen to the birds, as Vaughn would.

And on a bushwalk. This all started because TV3 journalist Patrick Gower said if he was at the beach, he would throw the speaker into the ocean against it. What does Greta Thunberg make of that statement? She won't be happy about the ocean. Well, no, because the dolphins could choke on the... Or the dolphins could listen to some fat beats.

Well, we put it to you in our silly little poll, and the results are in. Thousands of votes. Very, very close. 54% of people said yes to using portable speakers at the beach to lake the river, and 46% said no. Wow, that's really

split. So I remember we were in a beautiful spot on the Waikato River. It was a geothermically heated spot. Just south of Mangakino. Beautiful spot and everyone taking their boats up there and the idea was you parked your boat and then you

jumped off the boat and you swam in and you enjoyed the whole water. Must have been nice to have a have a boat was it certainly wasn't my boat lovely and then these dudes turned up with this big speaker and just had a cranky music and everybody was just like see that's why are you doing it everybody to that point had just been kind of like speaking at a low volume yeah so you know not and just enjoy's relaxing. It was like a spa. Yeah, gorgeous. I was smearing mud all over my titties. Trying to get the perfect Instagram picture. Thank you for that. And it smeared all over my face.

Yeah, wow. And I looked like a mud man. And then they just started cranking music and everyone was just like, and it got feral. Like, people were like, shut that shit off. Like, screaming. And I was just like, well, this has completely killed the mood. And I was trying to have a relaxing mud bath. Yeah. Yeah. It's terrible. I'm just anti them. Now, this has completely killed the mood, and I was trying to have a relaxing mud bath. Yeah.

Yeah. It's terrible. I'm just anti them. Now, let's see what the people have got to say. Beth said, it depends on if you have a terrible taste in music or not. But, see, Beth, that's too subjective. Yeah. You can't have it your way.

It's all or nothing. Megan said, it depends. If it's just your group around, then yes. If there's lots of people, then not everyone wants to listen to my playlist. That's the thing, if it's a massive beach, like I think West Auckland, your motorways, your peahas, there's room to spread out.

Yeah. The crashing waves. Yeah. You won't hear music. It just doesn't travel, the sound of the sea. But if you hiked into a tiny beach and there's like... Like, last weekend I was in New Chums, which is one of the most famous beaches

in New Zealand the Coromandel tiny little cove beautiful spot a lot of speakers you wouldn't a lot of speakers yeah man

you would have gone to Mission Bay with the no we went a long one yeah what a long one

no we went the next one over whatever that one's called Cohe yeah that one bit bigger bit bigger yeah and that's the thing

There was plenty of room But if it's packed And you're right next to people I wouldn't turn the music on Alex says A little UE boom is fine But not crazy loud please Marty says

If you have one of those You are annoying Why are you imposing Your terrible music taste On everybody else Penny says It's part of the Kiwi summer Just don't be a dick

About the volume And the type of music around families. Exactly, yeah. That's right. You wouldn't, for example, crank the non-radio edit of that Nicki Minaj song, Too Close to Children. You probably wouldn't. I mean, even the radio version, to be honest, is a little close.

Yeah, we do apologise for that when you're in the car. Shannon says, this makes me absolutely rage. I came to a beach, a lake or a river to enjoy myself and nature not to listen to your terrible taste

of music this is the main thing terrible taste of music yeah because it's better than hearing people try to listen to music

through their shitty phone speaker says Tracy oh yeah at least the phone's more local though it's not going to go too

not going to carry too far quietly says Jess sure I don't mind, but I don't want to hear your taste in music. This is the thing. Everybody's music taste is different. Like those annoying kids in the mid-2000s

that would carry around their phones blasting bad music through the tinny phone speakers. People are still doing that, by the way, Jess. I saw it just very recently. It's actually gotten worse. Worse. People wearing speakers on their belts. Siren kings.

Yeah. Yeah. Cranking music through the stolen fire alarm from a local primary school. That's really split, isn't it? It is. Really split. It is. Oh, my God.

Don't ignore this text message that just came through. We saw Fletcher the Beach. He was playing Hanson and Bach. I wasn't in charge of the music. I wasn't playing Hanson. That's a classic. That is a lie. That is an absolute sin. That's a classic. That is a lie. That is an absolute sin.

That's a classic, but it carries. Yeah, because it's so high. To be honest, it was my friend James' playlist, so maybe he had that on his. I can't remember. Don't throw. Why are you always throwing James under the bus? Because he has terrible taste in music.

James is going to buy another bus that you toss them under. Play Zed-N's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Lost yourself there a bit, didn't you? I don't know what happened there. Today's fact of the day is about the USGS. This is the United States Geological Survey. They are the government organisation in charge of tracking events such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions.

Like their geonet. Yeah. Like our geonet. Their geonet. I'm going to say I'm not immediately hooked. Just a sort of in-the-moment review. like their geonet. Yeah. Like our geonet. Their geonet. So I... I'm going to say I'm not immediately hooked. Just a sort of in the moment review. I'm going to need some more sort of baiting here.

Do you know I love a little earth, a little earth fact. I love earth. It's my favourite part. It's a lot, really heavy on the lingo there, geotechnically. Geological. Yeah. So like Fletch said, their geonet.

You'll remember after The Christchurch earthquakes And any of the earthquakes since Wellington's had one There was that big one in Kaikoura I was there for the Wellington one The six, was that a six? It was big, I cried

And a cup fell off my shelf Shiver me, Tim as well, did you rush to Geonet To see whereabouts it was located? Yeah, we did. Well, interesting. Maybe she's hooked now. Now I'm hooked. You got me.

The USGS uses Twitter data to track earthquakes. As soon as the word earthquake or EQ gets used, and if you're using Twitter in the United States and you've got your location on so they can see whereabouts it was posted from, that works quicker. They've got an algorithm that will scan through. That works quicker to kind of centralise the earthquake and is scarily accurate in regards to whereabouts the earthquake happened,

whereabouts it was centred. Because people who are literally over it, of course, would feel it strongest if they had more people in that area message earthquake. And as you get further away from the epicentre, less people are tweeting about it. So they can be like, okay, so we'll take the algorithm. Here's where everybody tweeted about the earthquake in this circle.

Fewer people tweeted about it than here, than here, than here, than here. Boom. That's where we reckon it's going to be. And then the data will come through and it's like, that's where it was. That's wild. Because it's true though, because the first thing that happens when an earthquake happens is everyone jumps on social media and goes, did you feel that?

That was big. Did you feel that? Yeah, they do. If you know there was people on Christchurch who were like friends of ours that lived there, we'd be like, nah, that's not over a four. When the earthquake happened, they were so nonchalant about it. In the end, they were like, nah, that's not over a four. When the earthquake would happen, they were so nonchalant about it, and then they were like,

nah, that's a three, that's a, I reckon that's a shallow 3.9. Yeah. And then it would come through and it was like, yeah, 3.8 and shallow. They'd be like,

ugh, close, but not so. And then if it was over four, they'd be like, yep, that one's over four. Because that's the thing, they had so many aftershocks. So many. But see,

that works in somewhere like America, but in New Zealand where hardly anyone uses Twitter, just like... Social media on a whole, though. Yeah, does it scan all social? No, this is just Twitter because it's open. Yeah, right. Because Facebook's the big one here for, did you feel that?

Yeah. Or Instagram stories. Yeah. And you jump on GeoNet. Yeah. And you just wait for it to come through. So apparently by using Twitter's public API, they were able to do it. Yeah. And you jump on GeoNet. Yeah. And you just wait for it to come through. So it's apparently by using Twitter's public API, they were able to do it. Right.

Whereas Facebook doesn't have that. So yeah, there you go. Interesting. Today's fact of the day is the US Geological Survey, the US version of GeoNet, will use Twitter to work out where an earthquake is before their machines can tell them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. A man on Reddit has shared his texts with a potential date.

So he matched with someone on Tinder and they're chatting and they decide to go on a dinner date. That's nice. And then he says, look, times are tight at the moment. You know, monies, inflation. I don't need to explain this. We're all living it. It's like this all around the world.

This was in America. He said, would you mind if we paid for our own meals? She blocked him. That is so... Oh, yep, Siri's upset about it as well. Siri's Googling something. Siri, is she a piece of work? I just think that's so rubbish.

Like, wouldn't you admire there being a clear contract up front saying like, hey, look, I can't shout at you, but I'd love to go out with you. Like, this guy's good with money because he's thinking about... And there's no confusion at the end. You're not turning up thinking he's buying you lunch. Yeah, expectations have been set, haven't they?

But then some people want someone that's going to pay for lunch or dinner, don't they? Well, they need to be on a different app. But exactly why that works for them as well. Yeah. Because they didn't go along under the pretense of, oh, maybe I can convince them during the meal to pay for it at the end. Yeah.

They were just like, all right, not for me, done. Block's a bit harsh. But, you know, from the start. Well, that stops a rematch, doesn't it? I don't know much about it. You'd rather know that they're a gold digger now, right? They're not a gold digger. Well, it starts with the lunch getting paid for. They're not a feminist.

That's what they are. They can be a feminist and want their lunch paid for. So we thought now with, you know, the cost of living and inflation being so crazy and everything being so expensive, date nights, like, you're going to have to really be picky about date nights right now, especially if you're single. Do you have, like, whether you're out on the apps and you're out going on regular new first dates or you are, like Vaughn and I,

absolutely bogged down in just years and years of the same person. You're lucky if you go on a date once a year. But, you know, with money. You go on a date all the time. I know. You eat out like four or five times a week. That's four or five date nights. You have date night all the time.

We go out a lot. And it's just the two of you, so every time you eat, it's a date. You don't have children being like, I don't want to eat that. Yeah, true. I mean, if you're not as privileged as I am to have the love of your life. Can I get the chicken nuggets? How embarrassing. But anyway, regardless if you're in a couple or you're

out on the dating scene, how are you saving money as people are tightening their belts? Like some ideas. This is what we want. Some ideas for a date. Whether it's date night or... Or your little tricks and tips you do to scrimp while dating. I know we've talked in the past about how dating's changed

and people will take someone to yoga, like morning yoga or morning coffee. Block. Delete app. Throw phone in the ocean. I know, but some people are doing that. I mean, it's not your idea of a first date. If you're complaining that you can't pay for lunch, but you also have a membership to a fancy yoga gym,

I've got questions. Yeah. Okay, well, I'll wait to hunt your dials at the end. We'd love to take some calls, texts as well, some ideas. Maybe you've done this. Yeah. You're dating money-saving hacks. How are you doing it?

Just going to watch Plan planes land at the airport. Born, I got born with that one. Fish and chips and planes landing. A bottle of Bernardino. No, because you've got to drive, you can't be Bernardino-ing. Yeah, but one of you can. A phantom. Then one person's going to be pissed off a bottle of Bernie

and the other person's going to be like, Jesus, they couldn't stop themselves. So then the thing, where's that plane coming in from? Oh. And then you play like a bit of imagination. But Adley went to Hawaii. I just looked on Planespotter. That one's coming back from Los Angeles.

Who's on there? Always wanted to go. What if ex-Shortland Street star made good Martin Henderson was on there? What's Martin Henderson? Games, games, games. Day night with you at the airport gets spicy, doesn't it? All right, well, give us a call. I'm hot and bothered.

0800 DALS at M. You can text as well, 9696. We want your money-saving dating hacks. We're talking about money-saving date ideas. Yep. Cheap budget date night ideas. Everyone's tightened about the moment. Dania, you've got one?

Me and my partner game together. Game? What game? We play Fortnite and Apex. Wow. And so is that like tonight's date night we're dropping in? No, it's just most nights when both kids are in bed. Right.

How do you steam an upper game of Fortnite? I'll meet you behind tilted towers for a little swap of the pistol, if you know what I'm saying. I'm going to drop my pistol. You pick it up. Got any small ammo? Is it like there? Pretty much. Shields, big shields, little shields.

Well, I mean, once you've paid for the game and you're... It's free. It's free, isn't it? Well, yeah, it's free to download. And if you want to get, you know, you can pay for the Battle Pass, but you don't have to pay for it. So do you have two TVs and two consoles? Yeah, so my partner has the PS5 and a monitor

and I just have a standard TV and an Xbox. So you're not even together, you're in different rooms? No, no, we're sitting right next to each other on different TVs. Oh, cute. Hold hands. Good kill, hun. I'm a little clutch victory. Dania, thanks for your call.

Camille, what's your money-saving dating tip? So my husband and I have four kids. We've got a big family wagon thing. We fold the seats down and put the kids' big beanbags in there and we go out for a McDonald's coffee instead of the pond. Oh. Show sponsor. Show sponsor.

Seamless mentioned the show sponsor there, Camille, and we thank you for that. Can we shout Camille's next coffee, please? Can we give her a McCafe voucher? Your next romantic coffee's on us, babe. That's such a nice idea. We're all about the romance here, aren't we, on the show?

What kind of pond is it? Geese, ducks, swans, eels? It's like a community sort of lake. We live in Masperton. Oh, that lake is beautiful. And there's romantic swans there, even. Those romantic swans are so cute. Romantic control your little territorial.

Yes, very. Camille, thanks for your call. Tessa, what have you got? What's your money-saving hack? Download the entertainment book, and you get two-for-one deals on cafes, restaurants, activities. The entertainment book. But I haven't heard of the entertainment book for years.

But don't you have to pay, though, first? You do, but it's worth it. You make your money back. No, no, no, Tessa. Yes, Tessa. You're spending money to save money. That's not how money works. No, trust me.

It's worth it. You're like, I saved $1,000. I had to spend $20 to get it. No. It's not a saving because you're spending money that you wouldn't normally spend. No, but if you're going out anyway. You won't spend it. Yeah, you're going to go anyway.

And you've got every local restaurant, every restaurant around you, every cafe. You've got rugby games, movie tickets. Can you download it? Because I want to buy the gold book. That's the fun part. Oh, God. You've made a sale. I'm looking.

I'm looking. Tessa, thanks for your call. I asked some other messages. Somebody said, what happened to an ice cream in a walk on the beach? Oh, you're beautiful. Do you know how much a bloody ice cream costs these days? I don't want to blow chocolate tip to the flake or something. Sprinkles?

Yeah, but you're buying ones for kids as well. Ian, you're doing bougie. You're doing... You've got a carpety. I've got a what? You know, carpety. No, I don't. I go to the roller place with the tip-top box.

Yeah. Because he likes orange choc chip. Yeah. Yeah, goody, goody. Choc chip. I'm just a little choc chip boy. Or if I'm, you know, feeling like I need to look after my health, I go maple walnut.

Oh. What? Because it has no... To get some nice healthy fats in it. Maple syrup and walnuts. Walnuts are really good for you. There's no sugar in that. What's the other one that I like that's like a...

Rum raisin? No, I'm not against rum raisin. It's goody-goody gumdrops all the way. It's goody-goody gumdrops, but the other day I went to my local dairy and he'd put a banana chalk in there. Like a perky nana. Yeah. Like a perky nana? Yeah, like a perky nana.

And I had a little scoop of that on top of my gumdrops. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. It was bloody good. Okay. All right, any more cheap date night? Banana though, that's fruit, isn't it? So it's healthy as well. Yeah.

Someone said first table every time. They don't need to know why we're dining so early. Always keep forgetting about first table. Me too. It's really cheap. Yeah. Get first Table. For those that don't know you, restaurants opt in, don't they?

Yes. And it's all over the country. It's the un... And some... Yeah, maybe the main cities. I'm not sure. But it's like the unpopular booking times, like four to six. And you can get it for like sometimes 50% off.

They want to get some people in there. Yeah. It's good stuff. But it works out well if you want to eat early. That's us. Yeah. It's good stuff. But it works out well if you want to eat early. That's us. Yeah. That's totally us. Somebody else said hot dog on a stick.

That's all it says. Just a date, a hot dog on a stick. Yum! It comes in a paper bag. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. It's got to have a lot of the carny sauce. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be?

Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. If I have sex with the podcast, I don't know how that would work.

Give us a sexy little review though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I don't know if sex was a podcast. I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review though.