ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 28th April 2022

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Yummy Yummy!  Male Contraceptive Pill  Top 6: Ram Raids  Silly Little Poll!  BYO Condiments  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Hayleys Uber  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions apply. Sorry we're a bit delayed. We were just interrupted and I've received a gift.

The lovely NZMe team who organised the company-wide quiz, and it was I didn't realise. I was like, yeah, I'll do that. And then I didn't realise it was the entire NZME. Like the whole company. Herald, One Roof, all the radio, everything. Hosted this quiz. I hopped on, very

unprepared and said, how many people are going to be here? Like 17. It was close to 500. Oh wow. We did a little quiz and I ran it and I've just, the lovely people are going to be here? Like 17. It was close to 500. Oh, wow. We did a little quiz and I ran it. It was cranking. And the lovely girls have just dropped me off a lovely bottle of Malfi gin. This is unbelievable. How many times have we hosted a company event and got nothing?

Got diddly squat. Diddly squat. Yeah, but I'm so likeable. You are much more likeable than Fletch. I'd put you on par with me. Yeah, I'm likeable through and through. Yeah. Whereas you'll do the job and then you'll be like,

ugh, I'll do it. Vaughan doesn't even talk to people at company events. He's too shy. I don't go to company events. Don't you? No. And then everyone says to me, was Vaughan all right at the company event? He didn't talk to anyone.

He looked depressed. He does not like crowds. He does not like crowds. There's one hell of a glass on here. So it's a Malfi gin, so I suppose you put a gin and tonic in there but I'd put a wine in there. That's a good gin glass.

That's a Hayley sized glass. Yeah, man. Good on you. Well, they did say afterwards, they said, oh, thank you so much for doing that. You know, we won't make you do it again. Maybe next time we'll get Vaughan. No, you can suck at Vaughan. I'm going to keep doing it. Stocking up the liquor cabinet. Well, you've got to keep doing it so you can get the set.

Because you've only got one. Yeah, that's weird. One glass. Yeah, do you need the full set? Aaron's just going to sit there with his little bitch glass. Absolutely. And I've got the mama tank. Full of jealousy.

Yeah. Oh, wow. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six.

Happy Thursday. And happy anniversary, boys. Yeah, eight years. I missed our last anniversary, didn't we? Working together anniversary. Yeah, but it's eight years since... Morning show. Morning shift.

We started here at ZM. Eight years since you've been a drained sack of shite. With no energy. A husk of a man. Eight years of... Hollowed inside and out. Well, congratulations, guy. Eight years.

Thank you. Thank you. An honour to join you on your journey. That has gone so fast. I have been getting a new shed. And so I'm spending a lot of time in my own head getting it all sorted. Taking all the stuff out of the old shed. Stacking stuff.

Finding stuff. I've had a lot of time in my own head lately. And yeah, the old over halfway through my life things really rattle around. Not over halfway. I am. I'm 40. I'm not going to live to 80. Why not?

He drinks too much and he eats too much red meat. Yeah, but okay. I had a great granddad who was an alcoholic. He had PTSD from the World War. Yeah. He had a severe brain injury and survived on nothing but red meat. He lived to 95 years old. Oh, no.

That's Irish stock, mate. No, thank you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to live till I'm really old. That's Irish stock, mate. No, thank you. I want to live till I'm really old. I don't think I will. Again, for the reasons stated earlier. I want a retirement village, not a retirement home. I'll be happy to live in my own house. Actually, yeah, I'm only half in on that because I'm going to be fun.

But at the same time, you're just a few steps away from someone being like are you home? And I don't like that. Oh, horrible. Have you had a fall, Mr Smith? Leave me to die. Hopefully by then

you'll be able to pop into a euthanasia pod at Westfield. Yes. I'll go for a fans massage under the elevator escalator. Fans massage and then a quick euthanasia. What a way to go.

But $10 butter chicken after the food court. $10 butter chicken because you're getting a mall butter chicken. Also, mall butter chickens aren't $10 anymore. Yeah, no, they're like $19. What? Have you not had a mall butter chicken? I haven't been to a mall for years. It was showing.

You get the smell, though that mall-bought chicken. You've got to have a serving. It'll be my last mall meal before the euthanasia pod will be the domberry. That's going to be a clean... Imagine the mess you would leave if you had a hot tequila masala before hitting the euthanasia pod.

Luckily the mall curries aren't that spicy. They like to keep them pretty mild. I really asked them to honk it up. And then they just come in. What do they eat? Do you reckon it's like one of those super loos that just closes the door and cleans itself up? It'll smell like a tandoori oven. You'll be burnt to ashes.

You won't get the smell out. But it's a grim start to the show. It started with a nice anniversary wish. To an euthanasia pod. In my mind, the euthanasia pods are like clear plastic on the outside, which of course it wouldn't be because you don't want someone walking past.

But if it was, imagine the stain. You would never get the orange curry marks out of it. What do you think? Do you think you explode? Do you actually burst? No.

I assume there's some sort of incineration on the side. I don't want my family to think, are you going to drag granddad's body back to the Honda Accord? Oh, God. In the mall? All right. Grim back to the Honda Accord.

In the mall. All right. Grim start to the show. I'd love to have a stop like this. Well, you've had a lot of time to think lately. Yeah, I've been in my head. As I said, I've been in my head a lot lately. Take that to the shed when you're cleaning it out today after the show. Your chance before 7 o'clock this morning to pick yourself up

a 12-month Spark broadband plan with Netflix. We're going to quiz you on Netflix. Listen up for the activator. It'll be just before 7. Coming up, the top 6. Yeah, the top 6 ways to tell that your teenager is ram raiding. Yeah, because apparently it's teenagers involved. It's teenagers doing these

ram raids and putting it all on TikTok. They're so brazen. I thought you were going to say they're so brave. Hasht on TikTok. They're so brazen. I thought you were going to say they're so brave. Hashtag brave. They're so brave. Driving a two-star safety-rated car into a bollard outside a store. No, it's brazen. That's bravery.

That's so brazen. Yeah. Top six ways to tell your teenager's involved. All right, it's coming up next on the show, though. It's yummy, yummy. We're going to talk about, I'm going to call it, I think it's a monstrosity. It's too much. A monstros monstrosity. It's too much. A monstrosity of a dessert.

Yeah, too much. Hitting New Zealand shelves, it's next. I feel ill just looking at this one. You're a white chocolate boy. I love my white chocolate. Love my caramilk. Yeah, okay. So this might tickle you In the right places

This is a new food item Heading our store Yummy Yummy A segment of the show Where we take a look At new food items Yes And this one

I think will tick A lot of people's boxes To be fair It's a collaboration Between Cadbury And Cerely Cerely Or Cerely

I've always I always say Cerely But there's no H Yeah but I know Some Ceras with an R and an H. Sarah Lee. They're Sarahs. It's Sarah Lee. The Sarah, Sarah.

There's another way of saying it too as well, eh? Sarah Lee. When you were Sarah, who was S-E-R-A. What about her? S-E-R-A. Sarah Lee. Sorry, everyone listening. We're just going to figure this out. There's a YouTube video, the overlooked history of Sarah Lee. Sorry, everyone listening, we're just going to figure this out.

There's a YouTube video, the overlooked history of Sarah Lee. And then I think it says. No, classic. Oh, God. No, it's an ad. It's an old ad. Say the brand. No, it's just a song.

Sarah Lee. They said it at the end. Sarah Lee. Sarah Lee. It's definitely Sarah Lee. I've been saying it wrong all this time. Sit down. Get in the corner.

Get in the go-if-yourself corner. Unbelievable. Anyway, so a collaboration between Cadbury and Sarah Lee. It is a caramilk mousse cake. Yeah, I'm here for this. Now, I love a mousse. I love a chalky mousse. Yeah, I'm not a big mousse guy.

Like a milk chocolate or a dark chalky mousse. What's not to like about mousse? Smooth chocolate goodness. I was brought up on instant pudding, which is the big mousse guy. Like a milk chocolate or a dark chocolate mousse. What's not to like about mousse? Smooth chocolate goodness. Because I was brought up on instant pudding, which is the superior mousse. No, that's not mousse. It is. It's instant pudding. What about going to Pizza Hut Diner?

Yes. Mousse machine. Oh, my God. That was a mousse machine. No, the mousse was in the gross bowl. You're thinking of the soft serve machine. Yeah, no, the mousse. You had to scoop the mousse.

The mousse was in the bowl. You scooped the mousse. It was always right beside the soft serve machine with like the little marshmallows and the chocolateousse. You had to scoop the mousse. The mousse was in the bowl. You scooped the mousse. It was always right beside the soft-serve machine with like the little marshmallows and the chocolate chips. And the jelly. And the jelly and the thousands and those weird squares of sponge. Pizza Hut mousse was where it's at. It was delicious.

That was top tier mousse for me. And I've had a Cera Lee Choccy mousse cake. I think we've all had a Cera Lee Choccy mousse cake. Yeah. And now a Caramilk mousse cake. It's on its way. Cadbury caramilk mousse case. Top mousse cake.

You really butchered about eight words in that seven-word sentence. Cadbury caramilk mousse case. You sound like when Putin's on the news just before they chuck on the dub over. Yeah. It's topped with caramilk sauce over the mousse. Oh, yeah. Sprinkled with caramilk flakes. So you've got your crumbly bottom.

Yeah. Your white chocolate. Crumbly bottom. Crumbly bottom. If you eat too many mousses, you'll get a crumbly bottom. You will. No, you wouldn't get crumbly. It would be mousse.

And then it's a moussey filling with the white chocolate on top. Oh yeah, that sounds good. I don't know. And it's out. What ice cream would you have with this? Why are you having ice cream and mousse cake? No, you don't need ice cream and mousse cake. You need to get a grip. Don't tell me I don't need ice cream with a pie?

This is a pie. You'd probably go a vanilla. You'd go a French vanilla or a vanilla bean. At the most, a vanilla bean. Yeah, yum, yum, yum. Well, this has already been released in Australia and it's on its way here, no date. Oh, good.

Calories? What? You're giving us. I just like sabotaging people's hopes and dreams. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. hopes and dreams. Well, Instagram testing a feature that is not new to most other social apps.

I know you can do this on TikTok, Facebook, you can pin posts, but Instagram, and a few people are testing this out already, are going to be able to give you the ability to pin three posts to the top of your grid. So when you're on the grid view, like you go to your profile on Instagram,

you'll be able to pin the first three, you'll be able to pin from anywhere in your feed. So you can just choose anything? So you can choose that picture from 2017 when you were on the beach with abs. Yeah, yeah. As an absolute thirst trap. Yeah, I've got a photo of my bum in a spa in Queenstown. That's top.

Yes. That's number one. Maybe you overseas when you could travel. Yeah. In Roma. And maybe my bungee jump. So you've already chosen your top three. Bungee, butt, a butt in the spa in Queenstown.

Did you do the onsen? Yeah, I did. The classic white girl onsen. Yeah, I did. And I said to Aaron, I was like, I've got to get this photo. And he was like, what is this? And I said, I've seen a bit of- Aaron doesn't strike me as the boyfriend of Instagram. He doesn't have Instagram.

He's barely on Facebook. And I was like, I've got to pop my butt out and wedge my togs up my ass. And you've got to get a photo of that. And he was like, why? And I was like, just get it. Just do it. It's thousands of likes. He doesn't, yeah. He didn't understand it all and then I made him do it.

How many likes did that get? It's a private photo. It's just my private collection. Right, okay. Alright, I will keep an eye out for that. I'm sure when it's officially coming, but it's on the way on Instagram. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, this has been teased for years and years.

The male contraceptive pill. We've been carrying it loud for a long time. We're getting it right, aren't we? Because we don't want any side effects. Could you imagine taking a pill? I can't. And then, you know, all this stuff happens. I can't imagine.

It's terrible. I wouldn't put anybody through, you know, all this stuff happens. I can't imagine. It's terrible. I wouldn't put anybody through that. No, exactly. Anyway, so, yeah, because a number of years ago, they came out and they moved to human trials and the men were like, no, no, no, no, no, this is awful. So they cancelled that. Yeah, headaches.

Oh, my God, I'm so angry. I'm aggressive. I'm sweaty. So they've gone back to the drawing board and they've come back. So the amazing thing about this is it's non-hormonal.

So the hormones in the contraceptive pill that women take are the things that weight gain, skin issues. And some women have to try like several different types, right? Oh, I went on a journey

to find the one I'm on now which is unfunded by the government but I'll pay. Some women have to try like several different types, right? Oh, I went on a journey to find the one I'm on now, which is unfunded by the government, but I'll pay whatever it's worth. That's another thing. Why does the government fund some but not others? Yeah, and the one I'm on is like a specialist one that is for people with like PCOS like me. So you'd think it would be more likely to fund.

Yeah, rather than just you running the mill. Well, next time we get the Prime Minister on, let's just ambush her. Yeah, just say, I'm on Yasmin and it's not funded by the government. Well, I'm a Catholic, so we only practice the pull-out method. Oh, yeah. That's alcohol contraception. Yeah. God, the amount of washing you must do.

Can't imagine. No, we've got the sacred towel for that. Oh, right. The sacred towel. Oh, the've got the sacred towel for that. All right. The sacred towel. Oh, the holy towel. Check your scripture. Check your scripture. It is under... It's been a while.

Elskow. Elskow 5-4. It's been a while since I've clicked the pages. I've only used the Elskow towel. You know when you go to a hotel and there's that weird-sized towel that's not a flannel or a big towel? Yeah, but it's not for the floor. It's not a bath mat. It's not a bath mat.

Oh, thank you. Pardon. Thatannel or a big towel. Yeah, but it's not for the floor. It's not a bath mat. Oh, thank you, pardon. That's a Catholic holy towel. Correct. Wow, I was today years old when I learnt about the sacred towel. We cap ours under the Bible. Yes. Of course you do, yes. You know, the Bible's always nearby.

Sometimes flicking through it during. It's the best thing to read. The inspiration. To connect to the Lord. Anyway, I digress. So they've tested this in mice. It is two months away from human trials. So this is happening.

So in two months, some uni students will be getting paid $500 a month to pop these. To pop these little pills. The way that it's not hormonal is very sciencey so I won't bother trying to do it it blocks these receptors and that kind of thing that involves sperm and the good thing about it

is it's short term so if you take the pill and you came off it two weeks later you'd have fertile sperm again oh wow okay and side effects I mean they haven't spoken to the mice

about emotionally where they're at. Yeah. But the side effects seem to be low. So there you go. Choose the holy towel or wait a few months and get yourself the male contraceptive. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Well, the Reader's Digest isn't funny little stories about something silly your uncle did all the time. Or I couldn't even tell you what else was in a Reader's Digest.

There was a couple of serious overseas stories at the start. Maybe there's a new animal on the endangered species list. Yeah, that's always a good one to read. Someone's passed away in obituary of something that you didn't know existed, but it was quite important to the advancement of humanity in some way or another, be it science or social. Always in a doctor's waiting room, the Reader's Digest. Good size. Yeah, it was always a good size Always in a doctor's waiting room to read his digest.

Good size. Yeah, it was always a good size. Such a good size. Such a neat little size. Other magazines sort of, you know, follow suit. Size down. Like the newspaper. Yeah, it's size down. They caught up, didn't they?

Yeah, finally. But they've released their annual list of the top 20 trusted New Zealand brands. Oh, okay. Great list. I'm going to rock all 20. I'm going to do the top. I'm Zealand brands. Oh, okay. Great list. I'm going to rock all 20. I'm going to do the first 10, like 20 to 10 pretty quick. Okay. So strap in. So we're not going to comment or dilly dally on those. Why aren't you allowed a one word comment on each?

Okay, alright. Number 20, Cookie Time. Yum. Number 19, Number 19, Dilmar. Oh yeah. Yeah. Number 18, Dilmar. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Number 18, Massport.

Good Mars. Good Mars, right? Number 17, Frischer and Peichel. Frischer. Frischer and Peichel. Is that the Charlie Express one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number 16, Griffins.

Yeah. Yum, yum. Biscuits. 15, Yates. Yeah, the seed people and fertilizer. The Yates. Yeah, everything youuits. 15. Yates. Yeah. The seed people and fertilizer. The Yates. Yeah. Everything you could do with the sprays and fertilizers. It's jumping around, isn't it?

Are we trusting a chemical company? That's what I did wonder. It was quite like. Okay. Bridgestone in at number 14. Yeah. Lovely. 13.

Dyson. Oh, yeah. 12. Canon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Canon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, cameras. That's the printer. I've got a printer.

And the printers and everything. I hate my printer. Not the Canon. It's a Canon printer. Oh, we're a... I think we're a brother. I hate it. We're a brother printer.

I'm an HP, so we've got a good spread there. Oh, there you go. Printers. Number 11, Panadol. Okay, yeah. Sure. Number 10, I'm guessing this is pandemic related A dithole

Oh, yeah Up the charts I can't imagine if you had dithole shares Who owns dithole? Johnson & Johnson? I think so It's got a Johnson & Johnson vibe My brother-in-law works for an advertising agency

And just before the pandemic They got the dithole contract Oh my god And then he said they didn't even do anything Nah It just went through the roof Ricket Binconser own it Oh, so it's not a DJ And then he said they didn't even do anything. It just went through the roof. Ricket Binconser own it.

Oh, so it's not a DJ. They own Brands Detail Neurofen Durex. Okay. Got everything covered. Connie's going to clean up afterwards. Yeah. Number nine, Toyota. Oh, they go forever, don't they? That's the only car on the list.

Eight, Resene. Yeah. Resene Paints. Of course. Do you want to say anything?. Eight, Resene. Yeah. Resene Paints. Of course. Do you want to say anything? Shout out to Resene. Yeah. You know I love Resene Paints.

You're doing your mustards, aren't you? Oh, you're green. I'm a Resene fan over there. I won't stop going on about Resene. Seven, Anka. Milk. Yeah. Six, Samsung.

Oh, yeah. I've got a Samsung TV. You've got a Samsung TV too. They're amazing. Great TVs, great TVs. Great smart TVs. I've got a Samsung TV. They've got a Samsung TV too. They're amazing. Great TVs, great TVs. Great smart TVs. I love mine. Number five, Mainland.

They beat Anka. Oh, cheese. In the cheese department. Is that because they do more yummy stuff? Like cheeses and stuff? In Anka, you just think of milk and butter. I think of Anka before I think, when I think of Anka,

I think of milk and butter before I think of cheese. Yeah. Mainland, I think of cheese. But Mainland had those cute two old dudes that were together, eh? They were a couple, right? Yeah, good things take time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wish they'd lived in a time where they could have openly been gay.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Imagine one of the ads and they would have got married. It would have been so beautiful. Imagine the cheese board. Oh, no. One of those wedding cakes was a cheese. Yeah, a couple of old fellas and cheese board. They would have had one of those wedding cakes that was a cheese. Yeah, a couple of old fellas

and at the end they would have said it's taken a while but good things take time. Yeah, and then one of them dies. Yeah. That would be...

Imagine the cheese board at the funeral. Oh, another great cheese board. Another great platter from the mainland, boys. Number four on the list. We're not just talking about old gay dudes

that make cheese here. This is the Truny Trusted Brands winners from Reader's Digest. Number four, Tip list. We're not just talking about old gay dudes that make cheese here. This is the Trini Trusted Brands winners from Reader's Digest. Number four, Tip Top. Yep. Good. What's not to trust about ice cream? Do you know what I've been doing recently is stopping at the dairy and getting a scoop.

Having a cone. Having a cone, so to speak. Yeah. Having a cone, then going and getting an ice cream. What's your flavour? Oh, no. Don't come at me. It's goody-goody gumdrops.

No, I love goody-goody. I was going to say, the minute you said good, I was like, you're in good company because he loves goody-goody. Yeah, I love goody-goody gumdrops. Number three, Mitre 10. Oh, yeah. Shout out Mitre 10. I've been there three times this week.

Yesterday I walked in and they said, Vaughan, what have you forgotten? Oh, my God. I was like, that was like Norm off Cheers. What a happy place, say. Yeah. Mitre 10. What a happy place. Have you been to the new massive Mitre 10?

In Westgate? Yeah. Oh, we go there all the time. But it's even bigger now. Since when? I think I went there maybe last week. Twice the size they've extended right the way down to the old Palmers. And they get that email about an enlargement.

Dude, that bloody, didn't they walk? Yeah, they must have. I don't know what pill they've taken. It's just work. They've doubled in size. Doubled in size. It's like an airport now. Dude, they're bloody, didn't they walk? Yeah, they must have. I don't know what pill they've taken because this work has doubled in size. Doubled in size. It's like an airport now. Good Lord.

Number two, St. John. Oh, yeah. St. John, the ambulance people. Oh, beautiful work. Great work from them. And real nice shiny ambulances. I like the colours. Yeah, they're swish.

Isn't that good? They upgraded from a white ambulance to a neon yellow. Yeah, I like the colours. Yeah. Way better than they used to, I like the colours. Yeah. Way better than they used to be. Go the Ambo drivers.

And when you see a Hyundai Santa Fe rock past you. You know how they've got those little pre-ambulance ambulances? Oh, like a station wagon. I don't like that because I reckon that'll be, when I have a heart attack one day, they'll turn up and they'll just have like a SUV, like a four-wheel drive. I'll be like, I can't fit in there.

They'll chuck you in the back. Do they just chuck you in the back? They put the back seats down. Do they? They put the back seats down. Or they flip the seats down. No, they're permanently down. Or the guy on the motorbike gets here. I'll be like, I can't. I don't like going on motorbikes. Hop on the back. No, I'm scared. I'm scared. You're unconscious. He chucks you over the back like they used to, cowboys used to chuck someone over the front

of their horse. Oh, yeah. And you're just over the side of the motorway. Like a pig in a Cambodian scooter. So that was number two on the most trusted brand. So we've missed out again, ZM.

Unless we're number one. Oh, are we number one? Number one, ZM number one. I knew it. Most trusted.

Most trusted. Oh, yeah. No, I've read the wrong list. It's Whittaker's. Yeah. Whittaker's is the number one most

trusted brand. You won't go wrong with it. Is Cadbury even on the list? Nope. But that will be because of the Dunedin repercussions. Yes, and the downsizing. Yes.

Yeah, they moved everything to Aussie. The palm oil thing. I still think they're trying to shake the palm oil thing. Even though they haven't had palm oil in their chocolate for ages. And they made a big campaign about it. Didn't they even have an orangutan in one of their ads? Yes. Oh, the guy with the drums.

No, no, that was a gorilla. It was a gorilla. Oh, my God. Hey, not all primates look the same, okay? I'm so sorry. No, I apologize. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there, Ram Raids.

Bonjour. Through the roof and through the front door. Yeah. It is just crazy how brazen it is. The balls, eh, to do that. So it's being fuelled, a couple of articles I read, it's being fuelled by financial difficulties. People have financial difficulties.

Sure, that's your traditional reason for Ram Raids, but another thing fuelling it is social media notoriety. People are putting teenagers are putting it, yeah, apparently there's ram raid talk. Or ram talk. Ram talk? Ram talk. What, like, you

do a crime and then you basically catalogue the whole thing as evidence for police. Because I also read police are working with social media companies. Yeah. To get the footage. Yeah. And the account names.

And often minors doing it, knowing full well they won't face the full extent of the law. Because you just go to Jervie. Because they're overage. Yeah. Or you might get, what's that thing? Diversion. Yeah. Probably not for ramming into a Dolce & Gabbana.

No. You usually get diversion. You've got like a joint in your pocket or something like that. Yeah. You don't want to blow your diversion on something weak like one joint in your pocket. No. You stole a magazine. You want to blow it on something good.

Sure. But also, not thinking ahead. No. If you get a criminal conviction, you can't go to Disneyland. Oh. You dumbass. Oh, my God. You dumbass fool.

Like, what if your parents forgive you for this, but then they want to take the family away, and you can't go with them? You can't travel internationally because you're criminal record. I feel like that's never something you were told as a kid. Like, if you do a crime, you won't be able to travel to a lot of countries. Yeah.

And you won't be able to go to Disneyland. Yeah. Crazy, eh? It is crazy. I mean, I know travel's been off the plate for a couple of years, but travel's been put back on the plate slowly. It's like you've ordered your entree of travel. Yeah.

It might be a little while before you get your mains, but you're going to have a little taste. But with teenagers believed to be responsible, that footage earlier in the week literally showed a gang of, like, 13-year-olds running around a mall. I've got the top six ways to tell your teenagers they're doing ram raids. Number six, they borrow the Mazda Demio and it comes back dented, covered in bits of plate glass window.

Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. It's got that shatterproof glass all stuck in where the windscreen wipers sit. I reckon Bev would notice if I returned her green Mazda 2 Demio with some glass. With a slight stoving in at the front because we hit the bollard.

You know, plastic Pagani coat hangers through the back. Yes. I mean, it's a surefire sign. Number five on the list of the top six ways

to tell your teenagers are doing ram raids. Their cool security tag look that they say is totally in fashion and that's why it's on all of their pieces of clothing are beat in and out

of every single store that you go into. Yeah, it's a fashion. It's a fashion. It's not really a fashion. Mum's just messaged. That's not a Demio. It's a Mazda 2.

It's a Mazda 2. But isn't a Mazda 2 a rebadged Demio? It's the same thing. It's like saying a Mazda 3 isn't a Mazda. Xcela. Xcela.

They're the same car. They just juiced it upda 3 isn't a Mazda. Xcela. Xcela. They're the same car. They just juiced it up. Different names in different countries, eh? And then like imports versus... Yeah, yeah. While sold across four generations in the domestic market, the Demio nameplate was really used outside of Japan. That's why we get Demios is because we import so many Japanese cars

where it is usually called a Mazda 2 outside. Bigger engine in mum's Paraná. She's messaging. No, because that's because she got it souped up. Well, she got the sporty Zippy model. She's a boy. She was hoping to ram raid Centre City, but they have bollards.

And she got the woofers on the back and a spoiler. Oh, she's got a big couple of 12-inch woofers. She's got a fusion system. Oh, yeah. She's got the Jonah Loma fusion special. You got it lowered as well? She's got those blow-up aliens. Yeah, she did.

She's got those green inflatable aliens that everybody had a souped-out sound system in the early 2000s had. She's saying the Demio's gutless. Oh, I wouldn't disagree with that. Shade-throwing. Shade-throwing from the Mazda 2. Number four on the list of the top six ways

to tell your teenager's doing ram raids, they've been Googling the structural weak points of large aluminium-framed double-glass doors with a roll-down screen in front of them. You might have thought they might have had an interest in engineering. No. They're just trying to know exactly where they have to hit the Mazda Demio at just to pop that door straight off its hinges.

Number three on the list are the top six ways to tell your teenagers are doing ram raids. Their clothes still have the Sterling Sports labels on them and you can't recall any ever going into a Sterling Sports. $59.99. Yeah. Sterling Sports. Yeah. It is weird.

Sterling Sports seem to get hit a lot. Well, yeah, they've got the... Bougie. They've got the good stuff. The brand. The Ivy Park and the likes. Right. Yeah, they've got the Bougie.

You're thinking of the old school 90s, 2000s Sterling Sports. Like a rebel sports. They're the place to go now. Yeah, because I went into a sterling sports looking for sterling,

like actual sports stuff, but it was all just clothes. You've got to go to rebel sports for sports. Although some sterling sports have like... I went in looking

for a badminton racket. Why? No, I didn't know. I was just trying to think of what we used to have in the sterling sports in Morrisville. They had a huge racket section.

Yeah, I bet they did. Squash, badminton, tennis. Yeah. Hockey. Oh, they always had some cricket in summer. They'd really lean heavy into the kookaburra cricket gear. Number two on the list of the top six ways to tell your teenagers

doing ram raids. You see them on the news driving a small car at about 80km an hour inside a mall. Again, a bit of a giveaway. That footage was insane. It just zips past that little sock kiosk. Whiz! I know the sock kiosk. Thank God.

Don't come for the sock. That's a small family-owned business. Yeah. Sock kiosk would absolutely blow to splinters if you hit it in a Demio. What's it even made of? Cardboard? Can't have it. Sock kiosk?

Bolsa wood. Balsam wood. Plain model wood. Light and shattery. And number one on the list are the top six ways to tell your teenagers doing ram raids. Maybe just check

their TikTok account. Yeah, true. Maybe just see what they've been posting on social media. Watch the whole video. Hashtag Ram Talk? Is it Ram Talk?

Raid Talk. Check both talks. Check both hashtags. It is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Kia ora. I'm Simon Pound, and I host Business is Boring, a podcast that reckons it's anything but.

Join me each week as I chat with some of the most interesting and inspirational players in the Aotearoa business scene and learn what it takes to make it happen from accidental entrepreneurs to the brains behind some of the country's biggest brands. If you're into business or want to be, then make sure you follow Business is Boring wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by the Spinoff podcast network in partnership with Spark Lab. Now, this woman, my word, she's branded herself an elegance coach from the United Kingdom.

She helps ladies like myself become more feminine, elegant, and therefore attractive to the boys, to the men. So people would sign up for her services if they're single and they want a boyfriend. Yeah, and they're going like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Right. How come men aren't attracted to me? She brags, I'll say. Okay. She bagged herself a very wealthy husband

who she married over lockdown by living a feminine lifestyle and she wants to help others do the same. So she has some tips on how to be more elegant to attract a wealthy husband. I was going to say, get a sugar daddy. Yeah, yeah. By changing some of the things you might be doing

without realising that it's repelling men, like giggling too much. It's not hot. Okay. By changing some of the things you might be doing without realising that it repelling men, like giggling too much. It's not hot. Okay. Cut it out. Yeah, we can't have that. The top tips. You want to watch it.

You do a lot of giggling and laughing. I do a lot of giggling. There's some more of it. Putting men off. God, no wonder I don't have a sugar daddy. No wonder. We hear this is also for you as it is for me and all the ladies listening. The first one, don't have a sugar daddy. No wonder. We're here. This is also for you as it is for me and all the ladies listening.

The first one, don't be overly sexual. You wench. Yes. Right, okay. Trumpet. So you've got to be careful that you're not being too, you know, horny. Okay. Looking.

Isn't that sexist to say that, like, you've got to hide that? I should preface this by saying this is all very sexist. Looking. Isn't that sexist to say that you've got to hide that? I should preface this by saying this is all very sexist. Right. She is not a feminist and I don't stand for a single thing she says. You were being quite sarcastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you're going to bite your lip, you have to make it look like it's accidental. Don't make it so aggressively sexual.

I don't want to bite my lip and even notice. It has to be not so choreographed. But you have to choreograph it not looking so choreographed. Do you think people who are good at that sort of stuff, like you might see it in a movie, like an actor, do they practice being sexy? Or there's just some people that just are. I think it's effortless, right?

You know that thing where they're like, excuse me, I'm just going to have a shower. And they close the door, but it's like see-through and then they let out their hair and they shake it out and stuff. They must practice that. They've got to practice that. You need to practice that in front of a mirror. Yeah.

Well, apparently if you are too sexual, you look, quote, incredibly stupid. Right, okay. The other one which is one of the main things is avoid masculine gestures. For example, carrying stuff. What do you mean? Like shaking your fist at people or who?

No, lifting heavy things like heavy grocery bags. Right. That is a man's job and not for you to do as a woman. Oh my god, fathers. Unless you don't have a man by your side, in which case, well, I guess you have to get the groceries from the car to the house. If there is a man, he should always be carrying the stuff. So don't carry stuff.

Right, okay. Ditch harsh masculine tones. So she says naturally she has quite a harsh tone when she speaks, so she's changed her voice to be more soft and feminine when she speaks. Yeah, soft and men like soft voices. Look at the knickers

drop to the floor as I'm talking now. Desperate signals. You don't want any of that and of course don't forget to flirt is her other tip. I hate her. Don't lift things.

I think the main message of this and this is the one I really want people to take home with them and think about. If you're single and you just can't seem to find a man, perhaps it's because you're bringing in your groceries. And that's just masking them out too much. Soften it up, babes. So you've got to find a man to carry your groceries

before you can use those groceries to find a man. Yeah, and soften that tone, too. It's a real paradox. It's a smile. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A wait for sushi is the reason that a woman had a winning lotto ticket. Who's waiting for sushi? That's my question.

It's always ready. That's my question. You pick what you want as you go. Yeah, that's why I love sushi. It's easy and it's ready and it's rocking. Unless she got there and there was no summer roll. Some people do that. They like a fresh one made.

They order it fresh. Yeah, and then it gets made and it gets chopped up. It'll be too loosey-goosey. I like time for my sushi to sort of congeal. Congeal. Yeah. Just the perfect amount of time so it congeals, but it doesn't yet go like.

You know when the rice gets a bit dry, a bit dry rice? No, no, no, no, no. Isn't it interesting? Do they ever mist the sushi? Do you think if no one's in the store, they'll go down with a water bottle and just give it a light misting? No, I, no, no, no. Isn't it interesting? Do they ever mist the sushi? Do you think if no one's in the store, they'll go down with a water bottle and just give it a light misting? No, I don't think they mist it.

That would sog up the seaweed, right? You think that would affect the... Integrity. Integrity, the structural integrity of the... What is that seaweed called? Nori. Nori. Yeah, because you can buy the sheets of it.

I like that. You know those little packs? Yeah, I do. I'm not a massive fan So she's waiting for sushi And there's a lotto Like a fool Has she not heard of St. Pierre's? Like a damn fool

And she sees next door there's a lotto store An express mart with a lotto kiosk And she's like, I'll buy a lotto ticket while I wait Bought the lotto ticketiosk and she's like, I'll buy a lotto ticket while I wait. Bought the lotto ticket. Yeah. Chucked it in the glove box. Man, your sushi's ready. Yep. And she's like, thank you. Goes back and gets the sushi.

Yeah. Comes back with her son. I don't know if they eat it in the car. Yep. Or what. But she forgets completely about the lotto ticket that's sitting in the glove box. Oh, goodness. Then she hears on the news that someone in the area won.

Yeah. But has forgotten completely that she even purchased a lotto ticket. Oh, wow. It's gone. That's how good the sushi was. That's how good the sushi was. When you buy a lotto ticket and then you eat the freshly rolled sushi and you just forget that there was even a lotto ticket.

I wish we could find the sushi place. Well, we should be able to work it out. Oh, you're based on locale. Yeah, it was an express mart. I don't know if I want to go there. Not if they've got sushi that's not ready. You're too right. Pre-order.

Call on the drive. I like to look. It might be good sushi. I like to look. I like the window shop. I like the one next door to work. It's all in the cabinet. I'm actually going to get some after work.

And they do their little, I like a sushi. I like getting that little seaweed situation, that real crunchy string of seaweed. I love it. You do. I know. It just gets riddled all through my teeth. Yeah.

It's good stuff. Anyway, so she pops a lotto ticket in her glove box. Yeah. And then it's not until a return to the same sushi shop. Yeah. That she's like, I bought a lotto ticket in her glove box. Yeah. And then it's not until a return to the same sushi shop. Yeah. That she's like, I bought a lotto ticket next door. She's again waiting for sushi. How much time has passed between visits?

Eight months. She's like, she's again waiting for sushi. Again, why is the sushi not ready? Yeah, I'm not going to this shop. I'm thinking this is on her. Unless she's ordering something that's not. She must be ordering a hot teriyaki chicken on a rice base. Oh, she'll be doing a katsu, like a katsu, a cutlet or something like that.

Does it say what she was ordering? No, this is poor journalism. There's no mention of katsu or donburi or a ramen. Could have been a ramen. But you can wait for the ramen. The ramen's ready to go. No, but sometimes it'll be a cutlet. It'll be a cutlet because they always

gotta fry the cutlet fresh. Well, this is poor journalism. They always teach you in the first week of journalism who, what, where, when, how, what kind of sushi. What kind of sushi? That's the seventh what. It's the W. The what. The what. Poor journalism. Message the journalist.

Um, okay. Hold on. Just say we really need to know why they were waiting for sushi and was it a The what? The what? Poor journalism. Message the journalist. Okay. Hold on. Just say we really need to know why they were waiting for sushi and was it some kind of Dombery bowl? Mina, Keir, Lazenby. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's send an email.

Perhaps a Katsu curry. Is it our company or is it the opposition? No, no, no. It's the opposite. So you wouldn't get this in the New Zealand Herald. I'd imagine if I would be disappointed if this was the New Zealand Herald. It would have been Jacinda's fault if it was the Herald. NZ Herald. So you wouldn't get this in the New Zealand Herald. I'd imagine if I would be disappointed if this was in the New Zealand Herald. It would have been

Jacinda's fault if it was the Herald. NZ Herald would specify. Wouldn't they? They would say it was a pork katsu curry.

And then Mike would do a deep dive into why they were buying sushi in the first place and not a Fonterra product. Yes, exactly. Probably, yeah.

Really, you know, back the farms up. But so anyway, I'm assuming she ticks the ticker. So she's again waiting for sushi. She's got a little

time up her sleeve. She knows by this stage how long the general wait is for sushi at this joint. So she pops open the glove box. Yep. Et voila. Gets the ticket out, takes it in, scans it. Do, do, do, do, do. That little tune that plays.

She's like, well, this is nice. It'll be a small prize. And then he said, well, this is nice. It'll be a small prize. And then he said big one. Big one. It's a big one. How much was it? It's a big one. A million bucks. Shoot! That's a lot of sushi. I'd wait

for sushi for a million dollars. I'd go to Japan for sushi. I'd go straight to Japan. I'd go to the source. Wow! That's a great story. So for eight months she was driving around with a million dollars in the glove box. How did the ticket not, you know when you have a receipt and you sit on it and you want it and it goes like black? The heat print. Yeah.

The heat print's no good. Wow. Yeah. That's a great story. Is there a deadline? Like is there a cut off point after which? It is. It's a year or two.

And they do try to find people. Like they'll always put out stories and press releases of hey we've got this unclaimed ticket it's about to expire yeah oh yeah yeah

so if you've got a chance imagine if you chucked it out imagine if you chucked out a 10 million dollar ticket I found I found the journalist I found her on Instagram tweet them

and maybe send a message just say some some what's the word like positive feedback or some critical feedback. Love the article. Love the article. Love the article to a great outcome.

A touching story. A great story. Maybe I should offer her a job here. I don't think you're the power to do that. You're not on the board. I'm on the board, baby. You're not on the board, Bob. I'm on the board.

Just say lovely story. We'd love to know what kind of sushi. Because why was she waiting? That's the real question. That's the big question here. Our 12 months for lotto tickets is where you've got any left unclaimed prizes or return to the prize pool for future promos or prizes. Yeah, that's nice.

That's nice. So it nearly got put back into the free parking. Put back into the kitty, yeah. Into the free parking. Oh. Today's silly little poll. Do you say hi to other people when you're out on a walk? See, if I was like on a hike, like going to stay in a hut or something, or you're in the bush and you see someone, you're like, hey.

Yeah. Or you might get some info out of them like, hey, anyone in the hut? Yeah, what's it like up top? Yeah, busy up in the hut. How's the weather ahead on the ridge? When you're walking up a hill, you say, much further to go? Yeah. Hey, are we nearly there?

It's sad when you're coming down and they have that look in their face like, I can't take much more of this. And you're like, there's so much more to go. Yeah, one of my favourite bush walks is called the Gentle Annie. It's in the Wynard Upper. Yeah. And constantly on the way up. Not so gentle, is it?

Not so bloody gentle. Not that Annie. Not as gentle as I said she was. Constantly on the way up. And you have to have that conversation. It might be named after the Fisher & Parker washing machine more than the... Yeah, might be. Could be. The gentlest of Annies. But yeah, I mean, maybe if you're

in a park. No, this is a must for me 100% of the time. You'll always say hello to people. Look, but maybe if I'm walking down like the CBD. No. And you're walking down a busy shopping street. You're not going to say hi. Say Queen Street in Auckland. I'm not going to say hi to everyone I pass.

That's a busy area. The supermarket? In the burbs. No, not the supermarket. Hello. Hi. Hello. How are you going?

Evening. The worst is when you see someone you know in the supermarket, you say hi to them and then you're just crossing paths. Hello? Hi. How are you going? Evening. The worst is when you see someone you know on the Supermarket you say hi to them and then you're just crossing paths on every aisle. Yeah, then you've got to make little quips the whole time.

Find the dormio. No thanks. But yeah, suburban. Always. Okay. Well, people agree. Yeah. You have to say hi to people

on walks. 89%. It's a very Kiwi thing. Only 11% of you are eyes down and that 11%, those are the people I'm like, I hunt for the eyes. Yeah. Hello? And if they don't say hello, I'm like, you have a good day too.

I get a little bit snarky. Oh, snarky bitch. Yeah, I get snarky. We've got to connect. Watch out. You say that. Watch out. And then I'll look up and then you'll be like, good morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you mentioned this the other day. If people don't give you a friendly hello wave at the pedestrian crossing, you beep.

I do. I don't go, eh, but I just go, boop. So they look at me and then I go, anything you want to say? You want to thank me for not running you over? Anything? I technically saved your life by not mowing you down. Thank you. By obeying the road rules.

Well, people have messaged in, they've chimed in. T Yelkow says, not a high, just some brows. Oh, yep, yep. Flick of the brows. I am, that works, that works.

That's a high, really. Yeah. Sarah says, only if they say hi first. She's a follower, not a leader. So she is, yeah, okay, but then if she comes across another person that's, let's call them a submissive in this situation,

rather than the dominant, you're the dom in this situation. There's no one to lead her in. So two submissives equals no one saying hi to anybody. Two negatives. Yeah. In this case, don't make it positive. And she lives in Papamoa too. On beach walks.

You've got to say hi, Sarah sarah reach out you should lead uh georgia says my partner likes to talk to strangers on walks and i find it very embarrassing i do that too i make friends with people instantly stop for a chat oh just hello time for a chat oh that's a cute dog oh how old are they did a little especially in lockdown if you're a guy you'd never get away with that. Oh, no, no, no, no. It has to be female-led. Ash says, I got ignored too many times, so I gave up. That's been scant. You've seen the stats here, Ash.

Yeah. Like 91%. Get back out there. Get back out there. There are people to say hello to. Who could ignore someone if someone was like, hi, and you just looked and put your head down? I remember there was one woman during a lockdown

and she was out for a run and then her phone out loud, running, running, running, and then her phone said, boop, three kilometres. You know, like it was like tracking her. Oh, yep, yep. I stopped and I applauded and I started yelling, you go, go girl. It was great and then she felt great and then she went off.

I bet you she did three more because of that engagement. Yeah, yeah. I'm a hero. Vicky says, got to say hi to fellow exercises. There you go. One of them could be single and your soulmate. You never know. Vicky's looking out.

Vicky's trawling. You and your soulmate can go on morning runs all day. Catherine says, only if they have a dog. In fact, always if they have a dog. Yeah. So it's a big they have a dog. Yeah. So it's a big hello from the country. Yeah, hello. Can't wait to see you out in the streets hitting the pavement.

Now, this is not me having a go at Fiance Aaron. He made an innocent mistake. It was truly, after the fact, rather funny. So we were sitting in the car and I was wearing shorts. Yeah. And as a lady with a good set of thighs on her, what often happens when you sit down is, well, I'll leave that. So anyway, I was sitting there and I have my legs like this

and Aaron goes, oh. And he sort of licks his hand and he rubs it against my thigh as he's trying to rub something out. Did he have sauce on there? Yeah, something like that. Or scuffed up against something? And then he went, oh. And then I looked down and I was like, what?

And then it clicked that he was trying to, what he thought was a shadow or like a marking of something was actually just like cellulite dimples. Wow. He hadn't quite noticed that it was my skin. He must have just seen the sort of dimple of cellulite and thought it was, you know, the shadow of it and thought it was like a know, the shadow of it and thought it was like a little smudge of something.

So he, which he tried to rub out. And then I went, and it just went click, click. And you could feel him being like, retract, retreat, retreat. And I said, did you just try to rub out my cellulite? And he was like, sorry, I thought it was something on your leg. And he was so apologetic immediately, but the damage was done. Right. So he accidentally really, well, he put his foot in it, didn't he?

He really did. Yeah. This reminds me of a time where one of the, it wasn't, have you been paying attention? I can't remember which makeup artist it was, but someone was doing my makeup and they went along my face and they were just trying to brush her bloody hair off. And she goes, oh my God, this, it must be a bristle from my makeup brush it's stuck in your face and she went to pull it and it was attached and just close your face there's that moment where she goes to pull the hair off my face and there's that resistance

yeah as it's as we both go it gives a little tug tug yeah that's it how did you i laughed she would have felt terrible oh my god no mean, women, we're like, everyone's got a little bit of a chin pube happening. From time to time. From time to time. What's a chin pube amongst friends? Yeah, exactly. But I want to hear these stories,

maybe to make myself feel a little bit better about the fact that Aaron, the sweet boy. Trying to rub out your Sally light. Trying to rub out my Sally light because he thought it was a sort of a mark, some sort of shadow on there. When did you accidentally insult someone? Maybe you've done something similar, tried to remove something or... Like people with birthmarks would get this a lot.

Yeah, something on your face. Have you got a hickey? You've got something on your face. Yeah, or a smudge. Yeah, like a port wine stain birthmark or something like that. When you've insulted someone, I mean, I hate the insinuation of, oh, when's the baby arriving? Oh, yeah.

It's not. It's absolutely terrible. It happened to me recently, didn't it? Yeah. But, yeah, give us your stories of when you've accidentally insulted someone. We want to cringe. All right, 0800-DARLS-AT-M is an American text as well. 9696.

When did you accidentally insult someone? Well, my beautiful fiance, Aaron, tried to rub a little mark off my leg. Thought it was a bit of dirt. In fact, it was the shadow of the dimple of my cellulite. Created a bit of an awkward moment. Bless him. You wanted to feel better and maybe share some stories. There are some.

Yeah, some cringy moments coming in. We wanted to know when you accidentally embarrassed someone or perhaps something like this happened to you. Some of these are, like, horrible. I tried to be the hero at a gathering when I saw a fly on a girl's shoulder and I walked up and, like, tried to flick the fly. Oh, no, no, no, no. I flicked a black mole right on her shoulder. She was very unhappy

and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Oh don't flick my mole. Did it look like a sand fly? Oh dear. Well I mean a big mole. It was obviously sticking up enough that this guy's like I'm going to be able to flick that fly off without hitting her. Amazing. Tanya tell us the story

what happened. So I called into my local service station, sort of caught to seven in the morning, and went around to the side of my car and sort of opened up the side of the car to fill it with gas, and the guy was yelling at me and waving at me through the window,

and I sort of went up to him and said, what's wrong? And he said, oh, madam, madam, I'm here by myself. I can't fill your tank for you. I said, I can do it myself. And he goes, oh, normally old ladies like you don't know how to. I'm 50 feet. Oh!

Oh, my God. Oh, no. You are not. I know I'm a plate in the mitt, but I'm not old. Oh, no, Tanya, thanks for your call. Megan? Tell us, what happened. Did you embarrass someone or did you get embarrassed?

No, it's actually happened on two separate occasions and my friends have embarrassed me just ever so slightly. I've got a freckle on my face, which is just above my lip, and it's not hugely obvious, but it's probably about three mils by four mils in size. Okay. And on two separate occasions at parties, I've been talking with my friends,

and one of the boys have come up to me. They've licked their finger and then tried to smudge the... Rub it out! They're just trying to do a good thing, right? And at what point do they realise, oh, that's not coming out because that's something that you have in your skin? Yeah, they've gone to do it again, and then I've just had to explain, no, that's actually part of my body.

They're like, I'll just go grab a scouring pad. Yeah, I'll go get a... This is stuck on there. I'll go get a Garnier wipe. That's not coming off. Megan, thanks. All right, keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 Darls at Emerson number.

When did you accidentally insult someone? It's so cringy. All right, more of these next. But right now, all we're feeling is the... The sheer embarrassment. Yeah, the urge to just dig a hole and bury ourselves in it. Because we're sharing stories of when you accidentally embarrassed someone after my lovely fiance tried to

rub out a mark on my leg and it was cellular. Kirby, good morning. Good morning. Now, when did you do this? You were the insulter. Yes, yes. My now wife cooked us dinner one night and we sat there and we started eating and she looked at me and she said, oh, I think I've overdone the veggies.

And I sort of looked at her and said, that's all right, you always overdo the veggies. Oh, no, no. Kirby, Kirby. She looked at me and I looked at her and she said, what do you mean? I was like, oh, well. It's about to be back now.

To be honest, it's not her fault. Everybody was brought up, you know, during the 90s. Oh, my God. You boiled the cauliflower. Broccoli wasn't broccoli until it looked like cauliflower. You had to boil the grain right out of it. Her mother boiled steak at one point. Oh, yeah.

No, not okay. She was going to cook her husband a nice cooked meal, and so she was like, oh, yeah, I made you steak there. Oh, no. Boiled it. God, they love boiling things. How you will. Kirby, thank you.

Levi, when did you embarrass yourself? Was this you? No, it was my dad, and I was so mortified. We were at the polling booth, and he goes to this lady, oh, has it been a long day? And she goes, no, why? And he goes, well, I see you've got your leg up. And she goes, I've only got one leg.

Oh. I see you've got your leg up Yes, the only leg I mean to be fair dad just didn't see where the other leg Where the other leg could have been there Yeah I guess It could have been there but like we just Me and mum left immediately, we were like oh my god I'm so sorry and left because we were like

I didn't even know that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, did you complete your vote or did you skip that election? Yeah, yeah, we were handing it in and he was like making conversation because she was taking a while to find our names and stuff. Right. Oh my gosh. I just think what we're learning from this is that we should never say anything about anyone ever.

No. Never, ever, ever, ever. Never touch someone, never say anything about someone. Levi, thanks. You call some more messages in. I tell you what, moles are certainly. Moles and freckles. I have a mole in my nether region.

My midwife at my first external exam said, you've got warts down here. It was one mole. And I'm very self-conscious about it. Is that a genital wart? Oh, God. You don't get told that when you're pregnant either. I have a wine-coloured birthmark on my head.

Every time without fail, if I go to a hairdresser, they panic and say they're sorry because they think they've cut me. Oh, yeah. They think it's blood. I was working as a flight attendant. Someone came home with the most beautiful bunch of flowers, and I said, oh, my gosh, who is the lucky person? Oh, it was a funeral, wasn't it?

It was a funeral. They were taken into a funeral. I reckon that would happen so much to flight attendants. You'd be like, are you off on holiday? Yeah. And they'd be like, actually, no, dad's dead. I'm going back to the funeral. Yeah.

Yeah. I worked in a hospital. A nurse came up to me and said, honey honey You shouldn't be at work With chicken pox But I just had An acne breakout Oh my god That hurts me too I mean there's so many

There's like And some of them Are just like so Cringy That made me want to hide I'm going to end on this one Because I think It's my favourite

I've got a birthmark Between my bum crack So I think They mean between Their cheeks When I first got a birthmark between my bum crack. So I think they mean between their cheeks. When I first got with my partner obviously he saw it and then the next time from the angle he was at

he couldn't see it. Right. And then sometime later again he saw it and then one day he finally said to me, I think you're not wiping properly. Oh my god, I want to die. And she said big

part and that was when I had to spread my arse cheeks and show him that it was a freckle, a large freckle that was always there, but he just wasn't always seeing it because sometimes the... Oh, my God, how embarrassing to know that while you're having coitus with your partner that all he's thinking is,

oh, gosh, he's wiped your butt properly. She's got a little bit of poo back there. I don't want to do it, but she's got a bit of poo back there. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I bet I can guess your mum's name Vaughan now has five questions to ask someone about their mum I was asked the other day Actually at the weekend When I was out with the Hummerzine people

Somebody said to me, is this rigged? Is this a rigged competition? No. How does he do it? Because you have a success rate. A huge success rate. And I said, well,

the fact is that mums are called one of 20 names in New Zealand mostly. One of two. I won't say it just in case. Just in case I'm going to feed you right.

Because then I can put it on the list. Carol. I was going to say Pam or Joan. Pam or Joan. Those are some older names. We don't even know who we're playing with. But I was thinking maybe we need to do like a behind the scenes, like featurette, like almost like a documentary.

We film you doing it. On the process. Yeah. Because people are, I don't know if you know this, people accuse you of cheating. They think that we get the first and last name of whoever calls, you Google them, find their mum and then answer. Oh, no, I don't have time to Google them. No, why no?

But then people see your laptop open because it's open now. Executive intern Anya is the one that. Yeah. Yeah. She gets really angry when I get it. Yeah, I know. Well, she does. But we're only doing this today because she had dry eyes at the start of the show.

She requested it to feel a bit better. It's an easy break, isn't it? We welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name, Ned. Good morning, Ned. Good morning. Good morning. How old are you, Ned? 14.

14. Oh, young buck. That's a clue. This could be a young mum's name. Yeah, an 80s mum. An 80s mum, yeah. Well, that'll be my first question, young Mark. This could be, that's a clue. This could be a young mum's name. Yeah, an 80s mum. An 80s mum, yeah. Well, that'll be my first question, I think. Okay, well, Ned, Vaughan's got five questions to ask about your mum.

Now, if he says mum's name, don't yell it out. We've got to save it. Yeah, save it. I'll have the guessing run at the end. Ned, how old is mum? What's mum's date of birth? 1975. 1975. Uh, 1975. 1975.

Great, yeah. This is your, I reckon this is in, like, for your Rachels, your steps. You started it. Started the big Rachels.

Yeah. Started a big Rachel. Mmm, big Rachel energy there. So this is good because this is like, this is, maybe people that were just a bit older than

me at school. Or, you know, like even people my age might share common names. Your brother's friends? Your brother's friends? Yeah. He was born in 1980. He's an 80s, right? So a little bit older than her.

What about, you got to put a Chris in there. A Christine? A Chrissy? A Chris? You know, a Christine. A Christine. Yeah. Christina, maybe. I'll put Christina. A Christine. A Christine. Yeah. Christina, maybe.

I'll put a... Goes by Chris, though. I reckon I'll put a Chris with a K or Chris with a CH? Chris with a K. K. Yeah. K. Always in the late 60s.

And that would also incorporate your Christens, but not your Kirstens. Yeah. Oh, Kirstie. Kirstie. Kirstie. Big in the 80s. Kirstie on the list. They love a K name.

Yeah, they do. Kim, Kimberly's, Kim, Kath. I know three Kims at the time. Just because of Kath and Kim. I don't want to get too far down the K road, though. Yeah, no fair call. Okay. Would there be a Maureen?

Nah. Nah, you're not really now. Two tagging slightly on the older side of things, and that's certainly not in the, like, 75s. All right, next question. Where does Mum want to go on holiday next? Or, like, has she talked about a holiday or getting away? Well, probably Rarotona.

Oh, yeah. Susie loves Raro. Susie. Oh, Susie. Do they take you on holiday much, Ned? Oh, yeah, but only around New Zealand. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever been overseas yet? No. Oh, plenty of time for that, Ned. Oh, yeah. Because kids are expensive, Ned. They're waiting until you move out of home. Hurry up and move out of home so that mum and dad can go on their OE cruise. Grab a high school.

Yeah. Yeah, you can live in a couple of years. Yeah. Did you put a Sarah down there? Oh, definitely. Yeah, Sarah's off to Rarotonga. Where's Sarah? Will she get Sarah over? No, she's in Rarotonga.

Sarah, you put a Renee. Oh, a Renee, yeah. Louise? Yeah, yeah. Louise is Yeah, yeah, yeah. Louise is going to Rarotonga. A Brooke would love Roro. Wouldn't a Brooke sink her teeth into a Mai Tai by the book? A Brooke would love Roro.

Brooke and Roro. What about a Paula? Have you got a Paula on the list? I don't have a Paula. I'll put a Paula. I'll put a Paula, though. Yeah, it feels good. This is going well, Ned.

This is going really well, Ned. I'm going to Roro. What's Mum's favourite drink, Ned? Gin. Jeez, you were quick on that one, Ned. See, I didn't even say alcoholic drink, Ned. I just said drink. Gin!

Does mum get, does she love it? How often does mum love a gin, Ned? Probably every night. Don't tell the health insurance. Don't tell the health insurance! Don't tell the health insurance, people! So, I'm glad we've got a Brenda.

That's a real 80s. Don't you reckon? I mean, I'll put it down. Brenda? No, you're not right. Who's a mum name that loves a gin every night? What about like a jazz or something? Do we have a Jackie? Do we have a Jackie?

Yeah, we're following the Jenny. Oh, shit. Watch out. Jackie's on the gins. Yeah. Yeah, Jackie loves a gin. Yeah, right. What about some of your real classic names of the era.

Diane? Yeah, there could be, it could be, it could be the end of the Dianas, wouldn't it? Yeah. Dianas or Dianas. Oh, no, because there would have been an uptick again after Princess Di. Yeah, yeah. But she would have been. Mel, do you have a Mel?

I don't have a Mel, but that comes true. That's a real, that comes, yes. Oh, Mel on the gins. Mel on the gins. She's a good time. Yeah. She's a good time. She's a good time. Okay, last question. No, no, second to last question.

Second to last question. What's the best meal mum makes? Like, if mum says, Ned, what do you want for dinner? And she's going to cook something, what do you tell her you want? A meatloaf. Meatloaf! Mums make meatloaf. I can imagine mum having a meatloaf in a gin.

Oh, yeah. Side of beans. Do you know how to drink? Does she oven the meatloaf, or is it like a slow cooker meatloaf? Oven meatloaf. She ovens the meatloaf. Yes, it's a bit toasty. She sounds like a great mum, Ned.

And saucy on the top, and then just before she finishes, she flicks it to fan grill and cracks. Crackly on top. Yeah, that's good stuff. Man, when are we going to Ned's? Do your friends come over for meatloaf? Are they like, yeah, yeah, Ned's mum's making meatloaf. Mum's on the loaf.

No, if they come over, we have sausages. Oh, sausages. Yeah, that's a good point there, Ned. Sally. Sally's on the sausages. Oh, yeah, Sally. Yeah, Sally. I thought you meant have a salad with a sausage. I was like,

of course. Mums always make a salad when they're having this. I've written down salad. I meant right down Selly. I'm going to say her name's not salad. Imagine if her name's salad. Okay, for some reason, I don't know where Ned's from. And I could be well

off the mark, but I'm feeling like Ned's mum has some sort of connection to the west coast of the South. Oh, no, I'm getting Canterbury vibes. Yeah, okay, we're in the south then. We're in the south. Could be wrong, though. Could be in the south. Are you going to frame it as a question?

That might be my final question. Where was your mum born, Ned? Hawke's Bay. Hawke's Bay. And do you still live in the Hawke's Bay, Ned? No. Okay, where do you live now? In Ashurst.

Ashurst, okay. I've got family connection to Ashurst. Do you? Both mum and dad's side of the family turned a lot of that into farmland. A lot of them buried in the cemetery. Oh, that's why I've got such connection to the colonisers. Some nice info for you, Ned. Yes, some good old white

colonisers over here. Yeah, the colonisers. It's pretty hard to deny when you're like sixth on one side and seventh generation in New Zealand that your family didn't do some horrendous colonising. Oh, absolutely. Alright, okay. I'm on both sides of the fence. Colonising out of the way.

Ashes. Hawke's Bay to ashes. I've got both sides of the fence. Colonising out of the way. Ashes. Hawke's Bay to Ashes. I've got to have an Ashley. Ashley of Ashes. Okay. Amber? What about an Amber? Is that an 80s move?

Shoot, yes. It is? Yeah, big. Okay, well. Especially if she's a bit hippy-dippy. Ned, Vaughan's going to have 15 seconds to guess Mum's name. If you hear Vaughan say your Mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my Mum's name. Vaughan, going to have 15 seconds to guess Mum's name. If you hear Vaughn say your Mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my Mum's name.

Vaughn, your time starts now. Here we go. Pam, Joan, Rachel, Chris, Kirstie, Chrissy, Kim, Kath, Susan, Sarah, Renee, Elizabeth, Louise, Paula, Brooke. Which one was mine? Which one? Elizabeth. Yay!

I didn't even get to the later part of the game. And it was actually one of your more traditional names. I wouldn't have gone there with you, Ned. I was sure it was a Chrissy or a Sally. So Elizabeth. Elizabeth, yeah. And what do they call her? Do they call her Liz for short, Ned?

Or Beth? Lizzy. Lizzy. Lizzy. Oh, all right, well. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. All right, it's time now for the bonus round, Ned.

Vaughn's got one guess at dad's name. On Lizzie and Keith. Lizzie and Keith. No, Keith's too old. Paul. I reckon that's something traditional. It's a John, a Paul, a Terry. A Ringo.

Or a George. A Dan? A John? Could be Dan. Dan, Lizzie and Dan. That's an 80s as hell name. Are you thinking Steely Dan and Thin Lizzie? That's where you got those?

Dan and Lizzie. 70s bands. Yes. What are you settling on? What do you reckon? What are you feeling on? What do you reckon? What are you feeling? I think it's a simple name. It's a simple name.

He's a simple lad. Because we don't know where Dad's from. Lizzie and Paul. Little Ned. Lizzie and Paul. Lizzie and Paul. Little Ned. I'm going Dan.

Lizzie and Dan. I feel Dan. I feel Dan. Daniel Dan. Dan. Dan the Dad. Dan the Man. It's up to you. You're the Oracle. Yeah Dan. Dan the dad. Dan the man. It's up to you.

You're the oracle. Yeah, you are the oracle. You've got the power. I think Dan. You're going to lock in Dan? Locking it in. Ned, what's dad's name? Ben.

Oh! What? Dan. Ben. Ben. But I told you it was something like that. It was a... A Paul, a Dan, a Ben. A Ben, yes. you, it was something like that. It was a... A Paul, a Dan, a Ben.

A Ben, yes. Ned, well, we didn't guess Dad's name, but $100 for you, Ned, that's, when you're 14, that's like a million dollars. It is a million dollars. You know what, I reckon there might be $40 in that $100 for a bottle of gin for Liz, too. For Lizzie?

For Lizzie. And Ned, just... So you say you outed her as a boozer? Yeah, but you can't go and buy it. And also, while we've got you on the phone, please don't go ram raiding. Don't join the teenagers who are out there ram raiding. You wouldn't ram raid, would you, Ned?

No. Good boy, good boy, good boy, Ned. He's a good boy. What are you going to spend your $100 on? I don't know. Probably save it. Oh, you're going to save it? What a sensible Ned here.

Got out here doing great things for Asher's. What a place to bring up a respectable young man. All right, next on the show. Oh, I'm going to. You could use $100. I could use $100 after my bloomin' trip home the other week. Well, it was before the show, the story about Uber. They've been fined in Australia for misleading users.

So they've been saying like, oh, when you cancel a trip, oh, we were already on our way, so we have to charge you $5. Which they weren't. And they were comparing the fares to taxi fares, but they were hiking the taxi fares. So you'd feel like your fare was a good deal. Well, don't say the word taxi around me. And that's what reminded us about the absolute horror.

I was so angry when you told me this the next day. I want justice for you. Well, so... I want you to name and shame this company too. Let's put it into a context. I'll bring up the bank transaction. So anyway, so before the Easter weekend on Thursday, we planned a boozy lunch together, me

and Fletch. Which I think ended at nine o'clock. Nine o'clock. That's a good effort though. Oh my God, yeah. And to be fair, we did start at Fletch's apartment and we had a bowl of wine there. And then we went to lunch. So it started at 11. Then we went to cocktails, then we went to dinner.

It was a whole thing. So it was a big night. I needed two went to lunch. So it started at 11. Then we went to cocktails. Then we went to dinner. It was a whole thing. So it was a big night. I needed two days to recover. That's how big it was. Yeah. It was a big night. Thank God for the long weekend. Yes.

You had been out of the game for a while though. I know. It was his first night back. Well, I had COVID and been fitspo. Yeah. So it was a blowout. Yeah. So.

Is that recommended by the doctors, is it? Post-COVID, a blowout. Well, I woke up not in the best shape with my chest, so I actually probably would not recommend it. And we walked a lot. Yeah, we did. We walked a lot. Here it is.

20th of April. We met up with a friend. We met up with a friend. Who actually was at the Hummerzine. That's another story. Yeah, he looked at my foot. He's a doctor. Hayley got a free diagnosis in a bar.

This is the second time I've been out with this friend and I've shoved my foot on a table and asked him to have a look. And a bit of a rub. It was at the end of the night. We were all walking, just kind of leaving the Viaduct area in Auckland. And the idea was to walk somewhere. In my head, I was walking home and the idea was to walk somewhere where you could all get an Uber.

Get an Uber. Because the night was over. We were toasted. We all knew it. We knew the night was done. The night was done. And then I got into a car, got into my... Well, we turned around and Hayley's in a taxi.

And I'm like, we're both yelling at you like, no! And I was like, guys, I have to go. I just can't. For the context, for those of you that don't know, you live a long way away from the city. Yeah, like 45 kilometres or something like that. Is that how far it is? No.

Oh, how far is that? It's no more than 30. So it's like an airport. I'm 29 and I think we're similar because I go one way and you go the other. So it's a little bit further than going from downtown Auckland to the airport, which in an Uber would be around $60 to $70. Yeah, so usually when I've caught an Uber from town to home, about like a $55 to $60.

And I'm happy with that. So you're getting in a taxi and immediately I'm like, no, because I have a disdain for taxis because for years and years they have overcharged us. Yes, and I will say at this point I was beyond. I just needed to go. I fell asleep in the taxi. I get that you wanted to just go home. I get that.

Yeah, and then so I get home and I pay the taxi driver, but I'm not of sound mind. And so I just tap the card, get out of there. And at 4 o'clock, my alarm just forgets that it's Easter Friday out of there and at 4 o'clock my alarm just forgets that it's Easter Friday and it goes off at 4 o'clock in the morning and I'm like and I wake up dehydrated I'm in the spare bed Now did you spare bed

yourself or did you get spare bedded? No I spare bedded myself because I was like I came home and Aaron was absolutely sober and I was like I'm too tousled for this so I hopped into the spare bed and went to sleep. Got up at 4am and I was like oh my god and I couldn't quite remember what time we'd say sober and I was like, I'm too tousled for this. So I hopped into the spare bed and went to sleep. Got up at 4am and I was like, oh my God. And I couldn't quite remember what time we'd said goodbye. And I always like to know like, what time did I get home?

Yeah, do I need to apologise to anyone? Yeah, what's the damage? And so I was like, I'll go check my Uber receipt. Absolutely forgetting that I didn't get an Uber. And I went to my emails, I was like, no Uber receipts. Oh yeah, that's right. I got a cab. And I was like, no Uber receipt. Oh, yeah, that's right. I got a cab. And I was like, I'll just check how much it was.

Expecting maybe $90. $173.36. How? What way did they go? You fell asleep. Did they miss the turn off? I was 100% asleep. I have no idea.

Even if you missed the turn off, there's literally a roundabout about 400 metres down the road. There's no excuse. I was asleep until the point where he had to go, excuse me, ma'am. And I was like, oh, thank you. And I got out. So I have no idea the journey. That is, I was so pissed off when you told me that. That is true. And the other ones, all the digital online ones, Ola

and the other ones. It tracks you. You get an email of the route you took. This is the thing with the cab. It was a bad idea because no tracking. I had no idea. $173.36. Triple what it normally costs. But, Dan, have you complained about this?

Because there's no way that that can cost that much. No, and who suggested to me? They were like, how coherent were you? I was like, I remember getting home. They were like, did you spew? Because that would be the only reason. Is it soil? No, I who suggested to me, they were like, how coherent were you? I was like, I remember getting home. They were like, did you spew? Because that would be the only reason. Is it soil? No, I didn't soil.

No, because soilage is 150 by itself. It's more than that. No, yeah, and I don't spew. I'm not a spewer. I don't have the capability. Anyway, that's how much that costs. That decision of me being like, you know that moment in a big night where you're like, I've got to go.

I couldn't even be bothered walking further to get an Uber. That to me is the taxi driver. Either making an honest mistake with the EFTPOS machine, but then a 170. It wasn't 73 though, was it? Bring back the non-traceable taxi chits. The work taxi chits.

I was the first of my mates to ever work somewhere where you'd get given a taxi chit. And I remember filling it out one night and my mates were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that like a blank check for taxis? I'm like, effectively then they were like, yes it is, baby.

Amazing. And you could just see the Hamilton light up in their eyes. Yeah. Well, lesson learned, isn't it? But complain to them. Well, I mean, how? I might've been rude for all I know when I was half asleep.

Yeah, but you don't, like $100 rude? Somebody messaged in, this happened to me. They charged me $90 for six kilometres. Yeah. Shoot. Honestly, complain to the company. I always bargain.

And this is why don't get a... When Uber's surging crazy, I always bargain with the taxi driver. And just be like, I'll get you this. This is what you're getting. This is what you're getting. This is what you're getting to get me home. This is what Uber would charge. This is where I live. Yeah.

And you're here. I'll give you 60 bucks. You're going to save me three minutes. You're going to get some work out of it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Even drunk on it. Oh, that's so rough.

I was so upset when you messaged me that in the morning. Hey, look, I got home safely. The hangover lasted but a day and I was back on the juice. I was back on the juice

the next morning. If you feel that bad about it, give her half. No, it's not. No, no I was back on the juice. I was back on the juice the next morning. If you feel that bad about it, give her half. No, it's not. No, no, no, no, no. He wants to give you half. I do not feel that bad about it. He wants to give you half. It's not his issue.

I took him off and went, bye. And got myself into a taxi. Also, you could have stayed in the spare room too. I could have just stayed at yours. I know, I know. I got home. And actually, Aaron hasn't even brought up this transaction. He didn't even notice it.

Unless he hasn't seen it. Go on, wait till he sees my business account. It was a business, sir. It was a business launch, wasn't it? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, about the Apollo 10 mission This went from May 18 to May 26, 1969 Human spaceflight, the fourth

Nice, yeah The fourth crewed mission in the Apollo program Okay The second one to orbit the moon, and it was known as the dress rehearsal for the moon landing. Oh, okay. Oh, a dress rehearsal. So they got to fly by but not visit.

Yeah, they flew around the moon and then came back. Okay. All the call signs were named after characters from Peanuts, like Charlie Brown and Snoopy and stuff like that. But there was a whole lot of classified information. A 500-page-plus transcript was classified at the time. Right. And it wasn't until years later that it was declassified

and they had all of this information. But the entire, everything that was said during the mission was there, like a play. And there has been movies and stuff about Apollo 10. Yes. But one of the pieces of information released when these were declassified was the following transcript. Six days into the eight-day mission, around page 414, emergency, it says, as that must have been the sound,

that was indicated from the cockpit. Oh, yeah. Emergency. Astronaut Stafford says, get me a napkin, quick. There's a turd floating through the air. What? Astronaut Young says, I didn't do it.

Ain't one of mine. Cernan says, it ain't one of mine either. To which Stafford replies, mine were a little stickier than that. Quick, get rid do it. Ain't one of mine. Cernan says, it ain't one of mine either. To which Stafford replies, mine were a little stickier than that. Quick, get rid of it. Throw it away. And then they discuss the finer points of waste disposal and space. Houston, we have a problem.

There's another goddamn turn. What's the matter with you guys? Says Cernan. And then they talk more about it. So they all denied it? All denied it to this day. Oh, wow. One of space's greatest mysteries

is who toured it on the Apollo 10 mission. And how did it sneak out the space suit? But that's so stupid for the person who did it to not admit that they did it. Because it's not like a tour just floats in, or that there's been visitors. There's not like a turd just floats in or that there's been visitors.

There's a limited amount of people on this trip. Outrageous. It's the great, and it could have been one of those ones, I don't know the effects of zero gravity on it. No. It could have just slipped out. Does it tear apart?

Yeah. Depends on your fibre content. Well, exactly. Exactly. They caught it in a plastic bag and mixed in disinfectant and then popped it into a waste receptacle. Jeepers. And that was done by ongoing

like one of the great mysteries of Apollo 10 was who did the turd? So they didn't even go to the moon. They just went around the moon. They went around the moon and then back to Earth, yeah, a little bit of a dress rehearsal. How much does it cost to fund a trip around the moon? Well, it was part of the ongoing Apollo program, Apollo 10 but, you know, it was part of the ongoing Apollo program, Apollo 10,

but, you know, it was one of the later Apollo missions that landed on the moon. Goodness, okay. A bit sad. Oh, you're going to the moon? No. I went around it. Went around it. And then completely different astronauts that landed it

compared to the ones that actually landed on the moon. The ones that didn't do a turd. Yeah, I guess once you've turned it in a... You don't get invited back. You're not going on the moon, eh? You're not going on the moon. It's a real, unless someone owns up to it, the whole class is getting detention.

Exactly, yeah. Situation. So today's fact of the day is all these years later, after the Apollo 10 mission in 1969, it is still a great mystery as to who dropped a deuce inside the Charlie Brown. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I have made a variety of things with my chilli peppers,

my habaneros, my jalapenos, my Thai bird eye. Your stories at the weekend, you were cooking up a storm in the kitchen, preserving jams and all kinds of stuff. I was having a real Margaret Bain. I don't know if you know this about Margaret Bain, but she was a prolific preserver. I had no idea.

Oh, the whole under the house was full. Of jars and stuff. Jars, jams, jellies. Was she hoarding jars, jams and jellies? Vegetables. She probably had a couple of beetroot. Okay. She needed to have a little stall out the front.

A couple of AGG. She could have got rid of them. What an absolute fact. I had no idea. Margaret Payne loved her preserving. So I got full Margaret on it and I went jams, jellies and everything. But one thing I made, I've always wanted to make it because I love chili oil. I love chili oil.

Like there's hot sauce. I love hot sauce, but chili oils. The drizzle. Yeah, the drizzle of it. But then like get a little of the chunky bits in there as well. Yeah. So when you're out at an Asian restaurant and there's all those delicious foods, you just dip in the chili sauce.

I don't get a ramekin of, I get a bowl. You need a lot. The soup bowl of the chili oil. I'm just loving this chili oil. So I made Chinese chili oil, which has got szechuan. Oh. A szechuan punch to it. What else is in it?

Cloves, star anise. Star anise is also in mulled wine. It's those little star things. Yeah, I made mulled wine. Cloves, star anus. Star anus is also in mulled wine. It's those little star things. Yeah, I made my wine. Cloves, star anus, cinnamon. Honey. The star anus, isn't it? What is it?

Is it a... It's a starfish. Does it grow and it's dried out? It's a dried up starfish. Right. Yeah, but where does it start? Yeah, yeah, in the ocean. Star anus is a medium-sized evergreen tree.

It drops off a tree. Oh. What is a tree called? Star anus is a tree. Elysgreen tree. It drops off a tree. Oh. What is a tree called? Star anus. Elysium verum. Okay. Oh, okay. And it's a spice from, like, the Asian continents, right?

Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Mmm, just mmm. Absolutely delicious. So imagine the sheer audacity of this guy yesterday when he said he's going to BYO his own. I can do dumplings at home and I do a great pan fried dumpling, but what I want is I can never nail, I've got the steam baskets and everything,

but I can never completely nail a steamed dumpling. No, no, no. What do I want to go to Yum Cha and I won't because I haven't been to Yum Cha. I was just saying yesterday, this might be my driest spell of Yum Cha. I haven't been to yumcha for ages. We should go. We should totally go to yumcha. I'm feeling I could yumcha her any day of the week.

Let's go tomorrow. So I was thinking I want their shrimp dumplings. Yeah. But I want to try it with my own. Chilli oil. Sash one. Chilli oil. So I want to BYO my own condiments.

They do have chilli oil there, but it's just a standard chili oil. And I know you've done this before with a hot, you have a bit of hot sauce in your. I had a little Tabasco in Sade's purse for when we went to a cafe and I would be ordering some sort of egg-based brunch and I'd say, do you have Tabasco? And they'd bring out sweet chili and I'd look at them like, and you call yourself a hospitality industry.

Wow, it's not yourself a hospitality industry. Wow, it's not interchangeable at all. It's not the same. But I just feel BYOing a condiment is not on. It's like, imagine if you go to Macca's and you BYO a tomato sauce bottle. A Delmaine. A Delmaine or something. Yeah, Whitlock's Chunking.

No. Superior Tomato Sauce. Oh my God, Delmaine. I wouldn't. No, you can't do it. Why not? You just can't. Actually, I'm with you.. No, you can't do it. Why not? Just go on. Actually,

I'm with you, You don't pay for the condiment. Why not? You don't pay for the condiment. Yeah, but it's just rude. It's a bit weird. It'd be weird

if you went to someone's house and they cooked you a meal and you BYO'd your own stuff because you're like, your stuff's a bit crap. Right. But to a restaurant, yeah.

I take my own, I say to my parents, like if we go in there, I say, do you have hot sauce? And put it on the shopping restaurant, yeah. I take my own hot sauce. I say to my parents, like if we go in there, I say, do you have hot sauce? And put it on the shopping list, Christine. She's like, what one do you like? And then I make sure that there's hot sauce when I arrive there. You wouldn't. Absolutely, a bit of condiments.

A fine restaurant? Like, because that's an insult to the chef, right? Probably. If you just go. Go to an Al Brown. Yeah, yeah. I'm not. Tom sauce.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. You're telling Tom sauce. I'm not tomato sourcing in a fine restaurant. Well, could we open up the phone lines quickly and ask, have you ever BYO'd a condiment? Do you do this? I reckon a lot of people have a little handbag Tabasco. Yeah, a little.

Because handbag size, aren't they? The handbag size is the handbag friendly. Tabasco sauce, hot sauce. Yeah, definitely. And not everywhere has hot sauce. No. Everywhere should get hot sauce. Butasco sauce, hot sauce. Yeah, definitely. And not everywhere has hot sauce. No. Everywhere should get hot sauce. But maybe you take a mayonnaise bottle when you go out.

A best food squeegee. Well, every comedian in New Zealand's probably got enough best foods mayonnaise to have so power for the rest of their lives so they're mad not to. 0800-DARLS-NM. You can text in 9696. Do you BYO a condiment? In this in-depth conversation about BYO condiments. Yeah, we're getting in a hurry along.

Somebody. It's six minutes. Now, if I might just touch briefly on the conversation we had before. This message, and you lot sound like idiots. It's not star anus. It's star anise. I don't think so. I beg to differ.

It is absolutely beg to differ. I think if you look online, you'll see it's pronounced star anus. I'm sorry, do you speak Cantonese? Yeah, this fool will be going, oh, it's Uranus is the planet. It's Uranus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just our accent. And it's star anus.

It's a lost in translation there, isn't it? Kylie joins us. Good morning, Kylie. Good morning, guys. Now, Vaughn, this is what got us onto this, wants to BYO his own chilli sauce to a restaurant. What do you BYO? Well, I have a salt shaker that permanently stays in my car.

Oh. Just because some restaurants are so pretentious, they don't put salt on the table because they're like, we have perfectly seasoned this for you. And you're like, I need some salt. It's lacking. Yeah. Is it the salt? No, it is just normal table, well, Himalayan

salt I actually have. I just want to check, Kylie, for your thyroid health. You are getting some iodised salt in your diet. Yes, absolutely. Don't go too posh on your salts. You'll miss out on essential iodine.

I've actually stocked up with iodine tablets because of the new nuclear war. Yeah, that's a good idea. That can help you shed nuclear particles. Fall out, yeah. Amazing, Kylie, thank you. Keep your texts coming in, 9696. A lot of people BYOing condiments. Yeah.

Someone said that they've got a little container in their purse with MSG in it for a little while. Yum. It's like yummy, yummy, yummy. Give me that MSG. Talking about BYO condiments. Yeah, because I was saying that I want to take some chili oil I've made to Yumcha. Not because I don't love their chili oil, but I want to try it with their steamed pork buns.

Yeah. Shumai. Yeah. Corn dumplings. Fried vegetables. Everything. Jessica, you BYO. What is it?

What condiment? Yeah. So anywhere I go that has like crispy taties or anything like that, I will take hot sauce. Yeah. Got to bring the hot sauce. Yeah. So you just have a little Tabasco on the purse. Yeah.

What's your preferred brand there? So like the standard Tabasco, but I also love the Cholula sauce. Oh, Cholula. I don't know Cholula. I'll tell you, if we can speak of homegrown hot sauces, Kaitaia Fire. Oh, yeah, that's a classic.

That's good. And they do a habanero and kiaia fire. Oh, yeah, that's a classic. That's good. And they do a habanero and kiwi fruit one. La, la, la, la. Carlos, you also BYO condiments. You're a hot sauce guy? Mate, a super hot sauce guy. One of my greatest friends actually runs the National Chili Eating Competition. And, oh, my God.

But he, my mate Clint, he religiously takes his hot sauce to cafes, restaurants, people's houses. And, man, it's an amazing, amazing product, man. And you definitely get hooked on it. Yeah, you're trying to sell it. He sounds like he's on the sales pitch the whole time. Yeah, he does. Oh, man, I want to go there, man. And it's true hot, but it's got good flavour

that's it you can make a hot sauce hot but you've got to have the flavour you've got to have the I like what you're putting down here I like that he in-depthly described his mate's passion for the hot sauce but didn't say the name of the hot sauce once what's the name of it?

oh sorry can I say it? man it's fire dragon chilli fire dragon chilli once. Oh, yeah, what was it? Oh, sorry, can I say it? Yeah, absolutely. Man, it's Fire Dragon Chili. Fire Dragon Chili. Oh, okay. Yeah, there you go. Get a good plug in there. Get a couple of those in the purse. Thanks, Carlos. The message is in. BYO Condiments. Sam just heard me struggling with, you know,

getting that yum cha style dumpling steam at home. Yeah. Cabbage leaves in the bottom of the steamer. Oh, nice. Also, Fire-dragging chillies. Waimoku. Local. Oh. Right up your alley.

Maybe we should just pop out and invite ourselves around. You'll have... Your alley will be bloody on fire. I always take salt... Right up your fiery alley. Salt and vinegar seasoning

if there's going to be hot chips anywhere. Salt and vinegar... What's salt and vinegar seasoning? Wait, you can get a sprinkle. How do they vinegarise the powder? I've done this once before. I've sprayed vinegar. Hot chips with a dipping vinegar is

outstanding. I've done this once before when I was on keto and I tried to make salt and vinegar courgettes. It was a dark time in my life. But you put salt I'm sorry you went through that. Thank you. You put salt in a baking pan, pour vinegar over it and you slow bake it to dry it back out and you get vinegary salt. That would be good. Because you can do that with

chilli salt as well. Or just buy it in a shaker at the supermarket. Listen to this piece of trash that's messaged in. I take tea bags everywhere. Then I just ask for a free cup of hot water and slip in a tea bag. See, what I'm doing,

they don't charge for condiments, so I'm not. You are literally robbing them. You're freeloading. And you'll be taking up a table. Unless they're buying a meal, then that's okay to ask for a cup of water, right? Oh, if it's a full meal. If it's the big breakfast.

Apparently South African shops sell the salt and vinegar seasoning. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Where would I find a South African shop? There's one on the way to Dargaville if you want to head out that way. There's lots of South African shops around. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You'll find one. Just look for that flag with too many colours on it. Yeah. All right, there we go. Have we talked enough? You would like us to keep going, Anna? It's 9.02am.

Anna's giving us a wrap-up. It's about news time, isn't it? 9.02. It was five minutes ago. It was news time five minutes ago. Why did you skip the news? It's all bad news. Here, let me give you a quick rundown of the news.

War. Russia's still invading the Ukraine. Yep. The pandemic hasn't disappeared. Drop the the. Sorry. You don't say the Ukraine. Russia's still in.

They've robbed them of the the. Yeah, sure. So they're now a non-specific Ukraine. don't say the Ukraine. Russia's still in... They've robbed them of the the. Yeah, sure. So they're now a non-specific Ukraine. It could be a Ukraine. It could be an Ukraine. Well, what else is happening? It certainly isn't the Ukraine. The pandemic's not over.

The XE variants in New Zealand and teens are ram-rating. And the Warriors lost. News done. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.