ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 28th February 2023

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Bush Poos  Top 6: Fundraiser Prizes  Pesky Hedgehog  What did you leave in the car?  Silly Little Poll! Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee made just the way you like it. Are you guys getting scams and stuff at the moment? I'm seeing to be really on Instagram seems to be a hot place for it. A lot of your courier package.

We just need you to do this. I got one from the bank the other day saying, question about your credit card. Click here to. Oh, yeah. And I did the thing where I like held down the link and it showed me the link and it wasn't anything to do with the bank. Yeah. Don't do these.

Don't click on these things. I got hi, Hayley. Reminder of your dental appointment at Lumino Mount Eden at 1030 a.m. On the third. That might be a scam. That's an actual appointment. Oh, yeah. I'm not falling for that. Hi Hayley, reminder of your dental appointment at Lumino Mount Eden at 10.30am on the 3rd of March. That might be. Is that a scam? I think that's an actual appointment. Oh, I'm not falling for that.

Yeah. I'm going to rip my teeth out to prove them wrong. Yeah, sure. So I got one asking for me to vote. They said, oh, I've entered this painting competition, but I need 50 votes and I've got 38. Can I enter your account? And then they'll send you a text and you just let me know what the text number is

and then I can do that. Which is obviously insane. Don't do that. Yeah, no, that's not right. It was bullshit. But here's one, and I don't know what the story is. This person who has 45 followers and one post that is just their picture.

And isn't that Bella Thorne? That's a famous person, right, Carwin? Who's this? I don't know. I've never seen that woman in my life. That's a person. That's not Bella Thorne. That's a celebrity, right?

That's a celebrity. That's a famous person. I don't know who it is. But they sent me a message saying, hey, and I didn't reply. And then they sent me another one saying hey and i said hey yeah because i find myself with time to engage with these because i like to see what's going to happen yeah how you doing how you doing this came through at 20 to 1 in the morning how you doing so then when i woke up the next day i wasn't i woke up the next day i sent them a thumbs up

and they immediately tried to video call me. What? Look, video call. I was just like, ah, ignore. And then yesterday at two o'clock in the afternoon, another, hey. I would answer it, because they can't get any info on you from your video call, can they? What if they've got a deep retina scan? No, yeah, they deep thank you. So they could pretend to be that person.

I mean, they could do that anyway, because there's enough photos of me around. Put a balaclava on. And answer, hello. Yeah. I just really wanted to sound like your radio show. What do you want? What do you want from me? Yeah, but isn't that a weird one?

They tried to call me. I freaked out because I'm like back and forth with them all the time. I love that one that's like, hey, I'm locked out of my ANU account and I'm on my phone and I need you to thing and I'll send you a text. And I'm just like, yeah, okay. And then they're like, it should have come through. I'm like, it hasn't come through. I love it. And they're like, it should be there now. like it should have come through it hasn't come through i know i love it and they're like it should be there now i was like nope it hasn't

come through you've got to be so careful because i got um a message the other day from a friend saying hey look my account's been hacked follow my new account and the new account was a fake the new one was fake someone had just got their account and and then trying to get all their friends and then when you followed them they would be hey, can you just click this and blah, blah, blah. And you know what I do when these things happen? I screen cap it and I send it to my mom and I'm like, don't. This is another one to watch out for. These are the people they target is like the older generations.

Because they will be like, oh, no, my credit card. And they panic and they're like, oh, click that. Yeah, no, you've got to be careful. I've done it too. Remember one of the old release your parcels from customs? Did they get your deets? Yeah, I paid this amount of money and I paid it like an absolute fool. But it's only ever like $4 or $5.

It was like $1 something. Yeah. And then I blocked my card. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, so don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Have you had a shower? No.

I haven't had a shower for two days. That's why I lit the candle. Yeah. I know, wow. You're so little bit of stinky in here. It's just too much admin to get into the port of shower at the end of the day. The driveway was all, I couldn't get there. You know there's a shower here at work.

You'd totally get here early enough for a shower at work, but wear jandals. Oh yeah, there's a bit of tinny air on that bloody shower floor, isn't there? I don't want that. They're cleaned regularly. Oh yeah. But still, it's like the pool and the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I honestly haven't even, I can't even see my face.

Like, the lift mirror is the first time I see my face in the morning. This is what I've got. What did you think? What did you think this morning when you saw it? I'm, like, surprised you guys can work with me. I'm so distractingly beautiful. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's hard, isn't it?

Yeah, it's so hard. Can I just say we've got a little bit of a shade going on here today. You've got a pink shirt on. Fletch has got, how would you describe this colour? Dusty pink. And I've got dusty purple. Yeah. We've kind of got a little bit of a... Yeah, like a little...

Cute, little crystals. It is Pride Month. And we're proud. We're showing our support. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. With the two more prominent homosexual colours. Pink and purple.

Pink and purple. Why did the gays get pink and purple? You know, pink used to be a men's colour pre-World War II. Was that? Yeah, pre-World War II. World War I. Right. Even way back in, like, you know,

bloody... Tudor times. Tudor times. Pink was a gentleman's colour. Yeah. And they wore high heels. Yeah, for their riding. Their boots. Fabulous. Right. Did their wives know? Yeah. They were wearing dowdy

sort of greys and browns. Well, you don't want a woman getting too excited about colours. No, exactly. And nine children hanging off their teats. Yeah. Like a dog. Yeah. Just a row of children.

Women used to have multiple sets of breasts. Did you know that? I know. They've evolved to not have as many. To not have as many, yeah. It's a lie down. Nice little history lesson this morning. On the show, our grocery grab lie down. Nice little history lesson this morning. On the show, our grocery grab is back at 8 o'clock this morning,

thanks to the warehouse. 20 everyday grocery items that you can buy at the warehouse. We'll whiz past our conveyor belt. You've got to recall as many as you can to win the credit spent at the warehouse. Coming up on the show soon, the top six. Yeah, we're doing a special lotto draw. And the money raised from that goes to people affected by cyclone, not your marching team.

It is basically like a fundraiser, isn't it? Yeah, a little batons up. He's running a batons up. I wonder why we don't do this more often. So I don't remember the Christchurch earthquake one, which happened soon after, and it raised $100 million. That lotto draw alone. People will give to charity if there's something in it for them.

Yeah. Yeah. What was the prize for the Christchurch lotto draw? Was that like? I don't know. I think it was just the lotto earning. Wasn't it the lotto at the time? Oh, was it?

Oh, right. So if it's like $14,000. Yeah. I think it just stays at that. Right. Because they don't do a special draw for it. Right. It's just one of the lotto draws. Okay. Oh, okay. So like one of the big Wednesdays or Saturdays is going to be, is going to go

not to the sports lotto thing. Yeah. It's great. It's a great idea. And then people buy it more because, you know, there's the chance to win, but also you're giving to charity. Well, even if they do raise $100 million, that's not enough. It's a drop in the pond. It's truly not enough.

It's a drop in the pond. The pond that used to be a pond, but the water filled it up. No, it still is sitting in there. Everyone's got a pond these days. Literally, we need billions of dollars. Yeah. So anyway. We're going to start.

We're going to get a start on this. The top six bonus prizes In that lotto draw You know how if it's like dads You might win a Ford Ranger Oh yeah Yeah The top six bonus

Ones that you can win Alright that's coming up On the show Next though Why am I Why are you Putting this on me I'm just

I don't know Do you want to Do you want to lead this I can do this I can do that Lead the next thing Because I don't have Any experience in this

You're not You don't go bush? Well, I'm currently living a little bit bush. Yeah, and that's not agreeing with you. But you're still doing toilet in a toilet. Yeah, in a port-a-toilet. What about hiking, though? Do you ever go overnight hiking, camping?

I've never done an overnight. Wow. I'm too precious. I have my Sealy Post-Repeated bed at the end of a long day. Yes, of course. Yeah, you do. I wait until the poo is literally like, I'm in here and I need to come out. And then I'll go into the long drop and just swift the blutions.

Because I don't know what's down there. In my mind, there's a possum living in that long drop. Don't look and he's going to scratch your butt off. He's going to scratch it all up. He's going to have it all. So there's a bit of etiquette on bush poos. How you do poos in a bush. We'll talk about this next. Someone's calling for an inquiry? Yeah, an inquiry on bush poos. How you do poos in a bush. Okay. We'll talk about this next.

Someone's calling for an inquiry? Yeah, an inquiry into bush poos. Dear listener, I asked you this morning at 10 minutes past six, how do you shit in the woods? Oh, Vaughan, please don't be so crass.

Are you a, does a bear? Are you like a bear? Does, given that it's Pride Month, a bear shit in the woods? They do. If he's caught short after a little, you know, bush fun.

Yeah. Well, apparently, currently, well, the freedom camping is a contentious issue here in New Zealand. Yes. Because freedom campers park up the van. They're supposed to be self-contained, the vans, meaning that your ablutions

will be taken care of and taken away with you. Yeah. But then they don't, do they? Often not. No. Often not. Because who wants to be

driving around the west coast of New Zealand with that in the back of your van? Well, you just do it in a bag and then put the bag in the bin like a dog. So do you hover over a bag? I would imagine, I would personally, I would have a bucket and a bag.

With a little seat? It's so gross. And when I sat on the seat, it held the bucket. It held the bag in the bucket. Can't you just stay in a hotel? Well. Because at the moment, when I can't make it to the port-a-loo, we've got a little bucket with a seat.

You're grim. Just for middle of the night wee--loo, we've got a little bucket with a seat. That is, you're grim. Just for middle of the night wee-wees. Okay. Because I wee a lot. Right. But it's strictly a no-poo zone. You're basically freedom camping in your own home. At my own house, yeah. Yeah, okay.

I'm just paying a little bit more to rent that space. Yeah. A tad. A little bit more. It's freedom camping with the ANZ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a bit of sawdust in there. Wonderfully absorb. You know, it'll absorb the wee's that'll never smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a bit of sawdust in there. Wonderfully absorb.

It'll absorb the weeds that'll never smell. Then you just chuck it out. No, so every morning Aaron just deals with it. And you leave it for another man to deal with. Wow. This is love. That is love. Baby, don't hurt me.

Don't hurt me no more. No more. So the Responsible Campers Association is renewing for calls into inquiry and how New Zealanders and people visiting New Zealand are pooping in public. What, are they going to have to answer a questionnaire before they fly home at the airport? How'd you poop? How'd you poop?

How'd you poop? Where is it? Give us a map. Draw on this map of New Zealand where you pooped. Everywhere you took a dump in the ground. Currently, the only grounds for what is a reasonable expectation upon the pooper is that they should not be seen. Oh, yeah.

So, you know, someone driving down the road with their kids shouldn't look out the window and see a German dropping a deuce on the side of the road. Corny place probably isn't your pick. No. No. You wouldn't be the only one on a Friday. There is a petition from the Reasonable Campers Association Incorporated that the new rules are defecation must happen

15 metres from a waterway and be buried 15 centimetres deep. 15? That's not a lot. It's enough for a poopy. But you could still just do it by the track if you were hiking. As long as it wasn't by a waterway, but you still, I think they're adding to the not being seen situation.

Oh yeah. I'm never caught short on a hike. I've never been, not on a, like for a wheeze, yes. Oh yeah, wheeze is easy, just slaying it off the side of the path. I couldn't imagine that.

Like you're hiking and you're like halfway through a seven hour walk, a tramp, and then it's like nature calls. See, I've eaten so much trail mix, I'm blocked up. Yeah. I've eaten one square meal,

even though I just had breakfast, I've popped one square meal. I'm so up. Yeah. I've eaten one square meal, even though I just had breakfast. I've popped one square meal. I'm so full of muesli bars. It's not going anywhere. And when it does come out, there'll be a silent tear rolls down the side of my face due to the roughage pushing through. Scratchy. Yeah, they're saying if you need

to, you shouldn't be seen 50 metres from underwater and buried 15 centimetres deep. Well, that can be dangerous on a track. You only need to go a little bit off a track sometimes and you're down a ravine. This is very true. You want to be very, very careful. They're also asking not to use

bleached toilet paper or wet wipes as they don't break down. Bury your poo and toilet paper with soil filling the hole to the top. So were you meant to take a little shovel, trowel, a little garden trowel? I'd take one of those little fold-out shovels. Yeah, we'll be there a long time with a trowel. You don't want to owe your beer hand.

Why don't you just take a potato and gravy spoon? Yeah, break it up. Or you could use like a stick off a tree, but that's hard digging. I didn't know you were supposed to use toilet paper. Wouldn't you use the Bushman's toilet paper? The kawa kawa leaf No, you just use Or the dock leaf

Those have got quite a few holes in them Yeah, yeah Not ideal Swiss cheese Swiss cheese leaf Well, just The waterway that you're not supposed to be pooping in You're now washing your poopy hands

Poopy hands Well, if you're in our beautiful nature Just bear that in mind 15 centimetres, please 15 centimetres 15 centimetres, please. 15 centimetres. 15 metres from the waterway and do not be seen. We don't want to see it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

There was a woman who is eight months pregnant and she was hanging out with her family. Grandparents were there. Mum and Dad were there and her sister was there. And she said, I have an announcement to make. Okay. My husband and I have decided on the name for our baby. And when she announced the name, her sister burst out laughing

and is now very much feuding with her sister because it was a knee-jerk reaction the sister said. The name she's going to give to her daughter is Deborah. Okay. I want to laugh too. Now, to the existing Debras, you're okay. Yeah, absolutely. Debs, Debbie, Debra, you're all right. But they're like Debs from the 80s, right?

Yeah. When would Debs have been born? Like early 70s? I went to school with- Yeah, 70s would have been big for the Debs. 60s, 70s. 60s, 70s, maybe a dip into the 80s. Yeah. I went to school with Yeah 70s would have been big for the Debs 60s, 70s Maybe a dip into the 80s Yeah

I went to school with a couple of Debbies I know a couple of Debbies But they weren't Deborah Shorten to Debbies I'm not sure Right And then there was Deborah Like D-E-B-R-A Yeah

And then there was Deborah Deborah Deborah Well Deborah is the one that this woman's going for She said the grandma The tell was that the grandma was like, oh, that's a lovely name. She was like, yeah, that's terrible.

Was it a family name? No, not at all. You put those in the middle though, don't you? Yeah. You can get away with it there. You're like, oh, that was great granny's name. Absolutely. Middle names are allowed to be a bit dowdy.

Even, I mean, Jane. Mine's Jane. It's a bit plain. You've are allowed to be a bit dowdy. I mean, Jane. Mine's Jane. It's a bit plain. You've poshed it up with a Y. Yeah, I have poshed it up, chucked a Y in the middle. Is it poshing it up or is it trashing it down? It's a bit like late 80s trash, isn't it? It's like when everyone in the 90s was,

if you had a shop and the last letter would be an S, you'd chuck a Z. Trends. Yeah. Yes. Clines. So anyway, now the sister won't talk to her and she's had to apologise, but also she wants to put her foot down and say, you can't.

You can't do this. Because they're going to be in a class with all these foxes and aloes and... Rivers. Rivers and water bottles. Yeah. What are kids called now? these foxes and aloes and rivers and water bottles. What are kids called now? What are all the kids at your kids school called? Otis.

Otis. A lot of Otis's, a lot of Ollie's. A lot of Ollie's. That's a big one. George, Prince George because of Prince George. Oh there's a couple of Georges floating around the bush. Layla's. One Indies friend, Layla, we were dropping off the other day, I said do you know there's a couple of Georges floating around the bush. Yeah, Georges making a Charlotte. Layla's. Oh, yeah. Layla's.

That's a big one. One Indy's friend, Layla, we were dropping off the other day. I said, you know, there's an Eric Clapton song with your name. Don't say that. Why don't you say that? I was expecting that. Yeah. But she was like, yeah, I know.

It's a great song. And Indy's like, I've never heard the song. And we played Layla. And Indy was like, bit slow. It's a bit sexy too, isn't it? Got me on my knees. I'm begging, darling. Oh, he's begging her.

That's why he's on his knees. He's on his knees like, please, Leila. I thought they might be doing some gardening. Let me love you. Let me love you, Leila. Look, the internet's divided. Some people are like, good for you. You've got to speak the truth.

We must stop this poor child becoming a Deborah. A Deborah, yeah. And other people are saying, how rude. All right, if you can't laugh at your siblings' kids' names, whose babies' names can you laugh at? Exactly. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. Today's Top six dealing with the plan revealed yesterday to have a special lotto draw for the victims of Cyclone Gabriel. They've definitely retired that name.

Because you know, if a cyclone is big enough, they retire the name. Yeah, 100% that will be. They've done it. We've got a new one, don't we? Cyclone Lou? Judy. Judy. Judy. Judy is Vanuatu at the moment.

Vanuatu. Vanuatu. And they say that they're keeping a close watch on it, but hopefully it's only just going to kind of touch the sides. I don't want it to touch the sides. Also, the sides are the worst. The sides have been touched. I know the sides have been touched.

The sides have been touched. Yeah, they're have been touched. The sides have been touched. Yeah, they're keeping an eye on that, but at the moment it doesn't look like it's... Judy's not nice. I say we throw Judith Collins

into the eye of this Judy. Sacrifice. And Judy v. Judy, who's going to come out on top? Talofa. You know Judy Collins will smash Judy.

Yeah. She's tough. That's enough. Well, the Christchurch Earthquake Appeal, the lotto, the special loturch Earthquake Appeal, the lotto, the special lotto they had after that event, raised about $100 million, they reckon.

It's good. I need more. I don't remember it enough to know the details of it. Yeah, I can't remember how much it was worth. Because to get people to buy tickets, you've got to have a massive draw, right? You know, like a jackpot. The jackpot has to be $20 or something. Yeah, because that goes crazy

when the jackpot's like $20. People go crazy. Yeah, they do. But then if a $20 million jackpot raises $100 million, but then the next week if it doesn't get won, it only goes up to $24 million, what happened to the other $96 million? Yeah, good question, Vaughn. I think it goes into local sports teams.

Yeah, it does. You can get funded. I don't play sports. What am I getting out of this? Yeah, they didn't fund my team. Also, you know, a white man that's never really experienced true hardship, what do I get out of this? Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. What do I get out of this? But anyway. Also, I love that we've turned to gambling. Gambling will solve all of our problems. Something that's affecting so many people. You're ruining lives. Yeah, ruining lives.

And they're like, you know what we need? A big lotto draw. We should ask Sky City if they want to chuck in a couple of Cyclone-themed pokies as well. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez Louise. The top six bonus prizes for the Cyclone lottery draw is today's top six. And in at number six, a Ford Ranger.

These are often the bonus prizes in like Dad's Day Lottery Drawers and stuff. Although, Amy, did you see some of those utes getting swept away? Like they weren't even any good in these floodwaters, were they? No. But a Ford Ranger will be a bonus prize due to the increased chances of roads slipping and water rising. And you'd need a lifted four-wheel drive. Ironically, it's a diesel. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six prizes for the Cyclone Lollary draw, a trip on the SpaceX rocket to Mars. Yeah, get out of here. No water, so no floating. No extreme cyclones. Yes, not a lot of food there, though. Nah, but Matt Damon grew potatoes in his own poopies.

So, possible. It's not impossible. You could also just take some, you know, non-perishables. Some cans. Some cans and stuff. Some canned peaches and whatnot. Yeah, perhaps. Number four on the list of the top six bonus prizes for the Sarkland Lottery

draw a lifelong Whittaker subscription. Yeah. It just turns up. Wouldn't that be a great thing? Oh, my God. Imagine that. You just get a block. What would you expect? A block a day is insane. Yeah. It just turns up. Wouldn't that be a great thing? Oh, my God. Imagine that. You just get a block. What would you expect?

A block a day is insane. Yeah. Dangerous. Like last night, Sade was like, I need a sweetie treaty. And she found one of those little thin, you know, those little thin blocks of Whittaker's. Yes. Thin and thin. A centaur.

The special flavours. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh. No, the bougie flavours. The special flavours. Oh, the bougie. It was like ginger and... 90% dark chocolate.

Right. And she opened it and had one square and said, that's yum, and then the rest jumped in my mouth. Oh, did it? The whole thing. It's gone. Bit by bit. It all jumped in my mouth.

But don't worry, Vaughn, it's thin. It's thin. It's thin. Yeah. And it's dark chocolate. It's basically the same as having one square of the normal stuff. That's what I thought. That's what it is.

I wouldn't stop jumping in my mouth. I think if you got three blocks a week, that would be Whittaker's for a year, right? I was going to say three a week. Three a week. Every second day. Full or thin. The big chunky blocks. Three a week?

Yeah. That is so dangerous. I'd have all the diabetes. You'd have three a week. Number three on the list of the top six prizes for the Cyclone Lottery Draw are the Chatham Islands. Yeah. We're not using them. We're not using them.

Now, are they the ones that... No, that's Norfolk Island. Okay. Family smooching. Yeah. Yeah, no, Norfolk. Family smooching. Yeah.

Where the pine comes from. You know the Norfolk pine? Yeah. Okay. Can I say something controversial? Do it. The Norfolk pine? Yeah. Okay. Can I say something controversial? Do it. The Norfolk pine is ugly. Oh, yeah, it is.

It's not a nice thing. It's an ugly pine. I mean, I'm not a huge fan of pines to look at on a whole, but the Norfolk pines are supposed to look nice and triangular, and we planted out all of our beach fronts with them. I think we would have been better with a hardy pine, a hardy palm. We should have planted knee-cow palms. Yeah better with a hardy pine, a hardy palm. We should have planted knee cow palms.

Yeah, gorgeous. Now that's a gorgeous native palm. That's a gorgeous palm. I love that palm. Yeah, these are, these are skanky. And they drop the things, they drop their bits.

The monkey tails. Yeah. Mum always told us not to pick them up when we were kids because dogs did wheeze on them. Oh, we used to whip each other with them.

Yeah, I think she just didn't want us to carry home and whip each other in the face with them. Number two on the list of the top six bonus prizes for the Cyclone Lottery draw, a boat. The good news is it doesn't come with a trailer. You just sit it on your lawn

and wait for the next extreme weather event, which I don't know, next week? Yeah. Cyclone Judith? 100 days? You say one in a 100 year flood, but we've had four of them in about a year and a half and three of them

in three weeks. It's every 100 minutes. Oh great. Fantastic. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six bonus prizes

for the Cyclone Lottery draw it's the one I get most often the bonus ticket. Never. I never cash that. I always want a bonus ticket. Oh my god and the machine goes

ding ding ding ding ding like you've won millions. ding ding ding ding and it's goes, like you've won millions. It's literally saying you're in the money. Yeah. And you're not, you're in the bonus ticket. Bonus ticket. Suck it, bonus ticket. To just lose next week instead.

If I scan on the app and it's a bonus ticket, I very rarely cash in the ticket for a bonus ticket. What do you mean? It does it automatically. No, not if you buy the ticket in paper form, scan it, it tells you you've got a bonus. What are you missing the ticket in paper form, scan it, it tells you you've got a bonus. What are you missing out?

Am I what, for another bonus ticket? No one ever won Powerball off a bonus ticket. Haven't they? Did they? Haven't they? Did they? That's the next up six. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. This is really cute. Yesterday at Dunedin Airport in Mozgiel. That's where it is, eh? Well, not really. It's more out. It's the Taiti Plains. Yeah, right. Halfway to Vicargill.

So far away, isn't it? So far away. It's like you fly over Dunedin, you're like, oh, yeah. Stop, stop, stop, stop now. We're starting our descent. You're like oh yeah and then stop stop stop now we're starting out to send you like what we're just the city's right there yeah and then you keep flying yeah but my favorite part is there's some beautiful little blocks of land out there yes on the side of that valley there's some beautiful little spots i could really see myself retiring there why do you want to live in the middle of nowhere i do i really do. I could watch them whack up apartments.

You son of a bitch. Not in my backyard. New developments. So many apartments. Just flatten it all, whack them up, cram them in. New Zealand's version of Yellowstone. I'd be out there with my cowboy hat on saying, this is my family's land. And you'd be out there with your measuring stick

seeing how many townhouses you could cram on there. Yeah, absolutely This is my family's age Alright, white guy This is my family Yeah Who's left? My family settled here

Nobody was here before us Were they? What do you mean? I feel like they were No, sir No, no houses were here Maybe not houses Nobody

Nobody Okay, if you say so. Anyway, at Dunedin Airport, wherever it may be, a plane had just landed from Auckland. And it landed and then everyone was like, here we are. And the captain came over

the speaker and said, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to make an announcement that I've never made before. There's a hedgehog on the runway. So, then this passenger said that the plane came to a grinding halt for a hedgehog. Yeah, but if you sucked the hedgehog into the engine. This is what they thought. They don't bounce. You're getting confused.

It's Sonic the hedgehog who spins and jumps and collects the rings and attacks Dr. Robotnik's flying. Yeah, right. Craft. This seems extreme. So it seems extreme that he stopped for the hedgehog. Rather than just a little do-do-do-do. It's the engines that would suck it in. Because have you ever seen those, what are those, big freight containers they load into the planes?

Yeah. Have you ever seen those getting sucked into a jet engine? No. How? There are so many videos online of just... Why don't we have to watch some of these videos online? They get too close to the engine and they'll just put the thrusters up and they'll get sucked in. Jesus!

Or if they're taxiing past them. Yeah. I don't want to get sucked. That's probably the last way I want to die. And baggage handlers get sucked in all the time. All the time? Someone died at a US airport like last week or the week before got sucked into an engine. But when you're doing the vacuuming and you accidentally get

your... Oh my god, yeah. Your what? You're just kind of like vacuuming the lounge or whatever because, you know, everybody's out. You're just kind of like vacuuming the lounge because you're like, I want my wife to come home and do a clean house. Sit down on the couch, vacuum the couch. You're vacuuming on the lounge Because you're like I want my wife to come home Do a clean house Sit down on the couch Vacuum the couch

You're vacuuming on the couch And you're like in a weird position And then all of a sudden It's just like And there's And you know it happens all the time It happens all the time It happens to everybody

It's always a charging cable You're like I can get real close to that And just vacuum around it And then it gets sucked up I just I love a bit of vacuuming I love seeing I love vacuuming up the corner of a it and then it gets sucked up. I just, I love a bit of vacuuming. I love seeing, I love vacuuming up the corner of a rug and it getting like sucked up.

You should check out, yeah, what's up with your vacuum? It just keeps latching on to my nether regions. Yeah, it's weird that it's doing that. You should pop some pants on maybe. Oh no, I prefer to vacuum naked. Yeah. You don't want to get your clothes caught in it and get all crumpled. It was when it got caught in the robot vacuum cleaner that was.

And you were like, Sally, no. I was just having a nap on the floor and the robot vacuum cleaner mounted me. What? What was happening? Well, they have feelings too. This is the problem with AI. It's taking over. Yeah.

It's learning humans. Yeah. Anyway, the firefighters were called, removed the trespasser. Yeah, the little hedgehog. From the runway and he made it off safely. Everyone got off the plane. Slightly delayed, but the hedgehog was safe. Fantastic.

Not the one I hit this morning. Did you actually? I actually cracked a possum. Did you? A living one? Oh, I've never hit a possum. No, the one I hit this morning was pre-hit. No, this possum ran on the road and looked and was like,

ah, and I was like, I'm sorry. Yeah. My life were yours. You line up your right elbow. Oh, really? You imagine you're trying to get it with the right elbow. Is this inappropriate? Trying to get it.

They are a pest. They are a pest, yeah. They are a pest. They are so pest, yeah. They are a pest. They are so cute. They are. I don't think they're cute. Australian ones are cute. They've got hair, they've gone feral.

Like Australians. You know, they're fine in their own country, but bring them to Queenstown over winter and they turn into absolute monsters. Frothing feral monsters. Feral. Feral. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So how much does it cost if you get caught texting and driving? $150. Yeah. And 20 demerits. 20. How many points do we have? 100.

And you've got to have two years absolutely clear. So say, speaking from experience, you get fine and some demerit points in July, and then in December you get 20 more. It starts again from December, two years clear. You've got to have two years clear. But then how many points to get a toaster? I think, well, Mitre 10's doing five times this weekend. Okay. Five times the points. Five demerit points. Right. Because I'm attend doing five times this weekend. Okay. Five times the points.

Five demerit points. Right. Because I'm really hoping to get that blender. Yeah, well, you get the 200 demerit points. You get the mailer. Okay. And it tells you how many demerit points you've got and what you can spend on in the catalogue.

Can you top up with cash? Yeah, you can do a cash top up. Oh, okay, good. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I can't wait to have some toast at your house. This new toaster.

Sounds pretty good. I won't be able to pick you up, but sure. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So there was a woman who got a fine for texting while driving, and she was like, show me the proof. I've done this before, haven't I? Yeah, you have. Show me the proof.

Then they send a photo because every time you get a fine, that's them taking a photo of you as well. And then they send her the photo photo and it's one of those downward shots, the ones that we've been trialling in New Zealand. And it's her and she's got one hand on the wheel and one hand holding a phone.

And she was like, that's not a phone. That is my daughter's toy bluey phone. Now this is the toy bluey phone. It's one of those ones that's got character voices. And as a kid, as a kid you'd just pretend that It's one of those ones that's got character voices. Oh, right. And as a kid, you'd just pretend that you were calling someone and it'd be a character from Bluey. She was like, no, no, no, I'm holding a toy.

See, her fine was $362 Australian dollars. Yeah, Australia takes it a bit more seriously. Yeah, they don't mess around, do they? Yeah. And no blenders. No blenders. No, nothing like that. Well, what's the point in texting and driving if you can't collect the points?

I hate that when you don't get the points. So she argued it and she sent in a picture of the toy phone. And it's definitely it. Like, if you look at it. So where's the photo of the phone in the car? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, to be fair, if you were working at the ticket place, you'd think that was a phone, right?

Yeah, absolutely. So what did she say she was doing? Like, getting ready to pass it to her kid or she's just like picked it up off the floor because the kid tossed it or give that hair you're misbehaving? Well, her thing is on it like she's just enjoying some of the characters as I imagine you might, Vaughn. I would.

Big, big fan. Big bluey fan. Big bluey fan. Love the bandit. Great dad, great dad. Great dad, we could all aspire to be. Have they let her off then? What's the latest?

That's it. They're reviewing it currently. But she's like definitely playing with it. But the law is it prohibits using a mobile phone for video calling, texting, emailing, internet use such as social media or photography unless the car is parked. So you can just like scroll through Spotify and say, I was trying to listen to a song or something.

I would have been on iHeartRadio, personally. Oh, Sam, I was just trying. I would happily take the fine. So would I. To say, well, I'm sorry, officer of the law, but iHeartRadio is my preferred music streaming service. Podcasts. And you would say, you won't believe how much is on this thing.

Live radio. Oh, my gosh. News. Did I mention podcasts? I'm sorry. Spotify slipped out, but you know what I meant. I simply want to trim it. And the police officer's like,

you're going to need to come down to the station. And I said, what? To tell everybody else about iHeartRadio and where to find it? He said, yes, please. I would love the opportunity to stand in front of a fresh audience and deliver then this passionate sell of what I believe to be the premium. The finest. The premium streaming service.

He's a company man. He's a company man. And so seamless. So seamless. So organically and seamlessly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Did some groceries yesterday. Went to, I went to the, thank you.

Just clapping for some life admin. Yeah, I went to the bougie one just up down the road from here. Okay. I know., I went to the bougie one just down the road from here. Okay. I know. Did you go to the bougie one? I know, but I sort of wanted some, like, a couple of fancy things. What, artichoke hearts? No, raspberries.

A lot of supermarkets have been out of the raspberries. Happy to pay $10 for a punnet. It's getting that way, isn't it? It's getting ridiculous. But, no, I just got a couple of days worth. I got some chicken, some soba noodles, some veggies. Chicken's quite popular, isn't it? Chicken's a good meat.

It's my number one meat. It's a popular meat. It's my number one meat. But I also got hot choc because I was like, I want an easy day. You got a bachelor's handbag. Yeah, get it. Bachelor's handbag. You've got to get it.

White tour, free range, hot, steamy. I grew up not too far from there. From where? Y tour. Oh, really? The chickens that do the Y tour chickens. Happy chickens? It's a weird claim to fame, man.

Well, no, it's not my claim to fame. I'm just saying it so I know I can speak to Y tour. I grew up near the chickens. You know the dead ones that you eat? You know those dead ones? The hot roast. I've seen the factory. Yeah.

I've seen the factory. I know where the factory is. Okay. It's on a back ride. What do you mean factory? I thought it was a happy, happy farm where the chickens are just like, whee! They're like, gah! And then they're not. They lived a great

life right until they didn't. They wave to you when you drive past. They're all doing the dance. And they say, I'm happy to die for you. be a big day. Okay. And so I had to park my car on the street and I pulled in my groceries and then thought that's all good and I put the perishables in the fridge and then I had myself a two hour

nap. Nice. Good for some. Must be nice. It was nice. How are you napping? You've got builders at your house. By being extremely tired and a bit hung over. Yeah, I was a bit hung yesterday, so it was fine. Nothing would stop this nap. Then I woke up and I was like, I should probably do something.

It's been like three hours since I got home, probably about four since I left the supermarket. And I was like, I'll go do all those clothes out of my boot because I had a photo shoot last week and they've just been sitting there. And I went and got them and my handbag chook was still there. Chook, chook, chook, chook. And a hot, humid card. That's all good.

I would say maybe four or five hours later after purchasing it. When are you eating it then? We ate it last night. We ate some of it last night. I ate some of it today. It's still hot. No, you don't buy a bachelor's handbag like seven hours before you're going to eat it.

Yeah. You go to the supermarket an hour at the most before you're going to eat it. No, no. Oh, must be nice. You can't have a cold. Living that close to a supermarket. You can't even notice they're living semi-rurally. You buy a bachelor's handbag and pop it in the fridge and eat it over the coming days.

Yes, for sure. Do you polish off an entire chook? No, you obviously can't eat it all. You put some in the fridge fridge but you've got to eat the initial one hot. Well, I think the agreement here is you don't leave it

in a sort of semi-warm car for four or five hours. I would throw it out. No way. It still stunk good. It was still hot because the car was hot. I mean, technically

that is like the thing they put it in at the supermarket, right? The warmer. And they can stay in there for hours. I mean, it's not as warm as the warmer but it's... It was a pretty mug stay in there for hours. I mean, it's not as warm as the warmer, but it's...

It was a pretty muggy day out our way. So now your stinky dink smells like roast chicken. Dude, does it what? And it was also near all of my clothes. And these are all my nice clothes for a photo shoot. They all reek of chalk. This shirt was one of them, actually. Can I have bullet points and points of this conversation

that may misrepresent you? It's somewhat of a mess. You were hungover on a Monday. You had a two-hour nap through the wild noises of construction. All your nice clothes are just in the back of your car, right where you left a hot chook for the rest of the day, and your car already stunk. This is absolute representation.

It's a fair representation you would say. It is a spot on summary of my life. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to get out but no you're staying in. No, no, no. I always say my car is a reflection of my headspace and if I could describe my headspace at the moment it is definitely

a semi-warm chicken sitting there like hey, you forgot about me. That's what they say to landlords, eh? If you're doing like people coming around to look at flats, and they're like, oh, no, we're very, very tidy. You peek a look in their car. Oh, yes. As that's a better representation of what they like

versus, you know, you could nip around and they could have a clean flat or you could get a good reference because the landlord's only ever done inspections with you. Yeah. You'd never get a flat or a job if they based it on your car.

Oh my gosh. The stinky dink. Oh my gosh. You're lucky you didn't buy it on like a Friday and then take off for the weekend somewhere and leave your car there.

I know because I did go to the airport last weekend and I parked valet meaning that it's the same cost as being an Uber. That's a tip though. What? The chook in the back?

The chook in the back's a tip for the person that valet's at. Help yourself mate. Help yourself mate. Help yourself to everything. It's still hotook in the back's a tip for the person that valets at. Help yourself, mate. Help yourself, mate. Still hot. It's been there for four days. Make yourself at home. Help yourself to anything you need. Anyway, I wanted to know what you've left in the car. I left a block of butter in a glove box of a 1986

Toyota Starlet. And then we went away for the weekend as a family. Mum said, it was like, I was driving so what, 16, 17, and she asked for these things from the supermarket and the butter kept, like, rolling off the seat. So I was like, you bloody thing, and I chucked it in the glove box and shut it and then got home and, like, unpacked

and we packed the groceries and we went somewhere for the weekend and we came back and it had been in the hot garage and the butter melted all through the cars. It stunk. It rancidly stunk for a very, very long time. It's just straight dairy, isn't it? It's just milk. And it melted all through everything.

Yuck. Maybe you've left a loved one in the car. We left out the old dog in the back of the car. What? Your old dog? Lulu came with us somewhere. And when we got home, she was just like asleep in the back of the car. And we were just like, she didn't make any noise

we opened the doors she didn't get out shut them again went inside and like hours later I was like I haven't seen Lulu for a while

and I was like did anyone get her out of the car? We went she was still just asleep in the back of the car Was it hot? No no no

it was parked in the garage and it was in winter Oh my gosh But yeah like Jeez Louise Alright well we want to take your calls now 0800 DARS at M.

Want you to text as well, 9696. Tell us what you left in the car. Maybe you went away and it was days there. Maybe you had to just burn the car. Maybe it was a write-off. Maybe you had to roll it off a cliff and into a quarry filled with water. Yeah, whoopsie doopsie. Yeah.

Because it was just gone. Feral. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM's Fletch Vodaneli. Play ZM. What were we talking about? The chicken in the handbag. The chicken in the handbag.

You're a hot mess at the moment. I am. Scrambled eggs. I left a hot chuck in my boot of my car for hours and hours and hours. I ate it for dinner last night. It was fine. It was tasty. Until later today when that rips right through you. Rumbly in my tumbler. You won't.

That's fine. I think it's fine. It was quite a dry chuck already. We want to know. That annoys me when you get a fresh bachelor's handbag, you get it home and it's already dry. It should be at absolute maximum moistness but that's on you

for picking at the supermarket you can't pick an overcooked one how do you do do you poke it you can just see you can just see

if they're too dry and if you pick up the bag and give it a bit of that a bit of a jiggle a bit of juice yeah good stuff makes a good gravy

that juice is good stuff are they cooked in the bag this is a silly question no I believe they're put in after. They're cooked in sort of a rotisserie search. And then they pop them in the plastic. With a little bit of additional juice?

I believe so, yeah. To keep it moist. Yeah, they probably baste them and stuff like that. Yeah, because you seal it and then that'll keep the moisture in. Do they go round and round, but then when they get to the bottom go through the juice? Oh my God. Like a dip? Like a dip.

Oh, in the juice. Dripping juices. Like a sheep dip. Or do they just get like a lad Like a dip In the juice Dripping juices Like a sheep dip Or do they just get Like a ladle of juice At the bottom No one's ladling it Because I've seen them

They're in a They're in a sealed rotisserie No one's ladling No but afterwards Do they put a bit of juice In the bag Yes I think so I think they ladle some juice

Some sort of Chicken Juice collecting tray At the bottom God It would be great If it did a dip. Great for the bachelor's handbag. So we want to know what you've left in the car.

Kristen, what did you leave in the car? I left a bottle of milk for a week. Oh! Did it pop? Did it open? Yes, it did. And was this summer or winter? Summer.

So what do you mean, did it pop? Did it get all fizzy? Yeah, well, we bought a bunch of groceries, and we had about three bottles of milk, and we didn't notice that one fell out when we brought all the groceries in. And I went to get in the car after work, and went, oh, something smells.

And we looked in the back, and it was all in the wheel well. Oh. How long did it take to get the smell out? It didn't. We bought a new car. Did you sell it and try to spray it and mask it? No, we gave

it to my in-laws as a beach car. You just had to drive with the windows down. It was horrible. You'd almost angle grind the roof off. Isn't that insane? It's ridden the roof off Isn't that insane? It's ridden the car off, just a bottle of milk Yeah That's crazy. Kristen, thanks for your call

Gina, what did you leave in the car? I was given a dozen eggs from my grandfather over summer and I put the dozen eggs on up behind the back seats of my car Just where the sun can get at them Yeah, where the sun is and it was a few days and eggs on up behind the back seats of my car. Just where the sun can get at them.

Yeah, where the sun is. And it was a few days before I'd realised. And I opened up the tray of eggs and they'd all hard-boiled and opened up. Oh! Because you've seen that before, right? People cooking eggs on their back. It has to be so hot for that to happen. But then in the car, it just gets hotter and hotter and hotter.

How bad was the smell? There was no smell, thank God. I got it just in time. So, yeah, straight in the bin. But if it was this day and age, I probably wouldn't keep them because eggs are expensive. Yes, exactly. They could have mashed those up and done some, like, salad sandwiches or something.

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, a bit of mayonnaise brings a lot to bed. A bit of mayonnaise, yeah, exactly. You do the baking no. Yeah, a bit of mayonnaise brings the most to bed. A bit of mayonnaise, yeah, exactly. You do the baking show. Yeah, follow me. Rachel, what did you leave in the car? I went to the freezer and I found a bunch of oranges in the freezer.

So I was like to mum, why are the oranges in the freezer? And then realised she left a bag of whitebait in the car for a few days. Wait, so she mistook the white bait for the oranges? Yeah, I don't know how to do that because they're very different colours. I'm always confusing big, huge, round, orange things for the small bodies of little fishies. Always.

Oh, no. So disappointing as well because white bait ain't cheap. I know, and it's so yum. And so how bad was the smell? It was horrible. We didn't have a garage, so the car was in the sun all day. Did you have to write the car up? A long time.

No, we ended up getting the smell out, and then we ended up selling it. Yeah, because you know. The Bissell would be good for that, wouldn't it? The Bissell. I don't know. The Bissell will get the stain out. It might not get the smell out. Rachel, thanks.

We'll finish up with Anonymous. Anonymous, what did you leave in the car? Not me. My mother-in-law went to the supermarket, did her groceries, got some chicken, some filo rolls, put her bag in the car, then went in to find her husband, came back out and that said car was driving off.

Two weeks later when she was about to buy a new cell phone, because her cell phone and wallet was in the bag with the chicken. Yeah. She got a phone call. They'd found her phone. The people had been to the supermarket, come home, parked their car and gone off to Australia for two weeks. Wait, so she'd put the stuff in someone else's car?

Yes, and it was the exact same car as hers, and there was only one number different on the number plate. Oh! The twins! And so what, she'd just put it in the boot, and they hadn't even gone in the boot or noticed? It was on the back seat. And so they drove straight from there,

they go to Australia for two weeks. They come back. There's rank chicken and phyllo buns. So her car now has a fluoro yellow tag on the aerial, so she can spot it in the front of her car. You've got to identify it. Is this in some small town where no one locks their cars? It's in New Plymouth,

so it was really surprising that the car wasn't locked. I would say if you're in New Plymouth and you're not locked in your car, you're full. That place is riddled with crime. Riddled with crime. One of New Zealand's most disgusting regions. Excuse me, we are planning a weekend to go to one of Hayley's comedy shows. Here we are.

Is it in New Plymouth? Yes. I thought that was in Palmerston North. I'm not coming. You got the NP around. I got the NP at the end. People do it all the time. No, you're coming. I've already talked to S People do that all the time. No, you're coming.

I've already talked to Sade. Have you? We've locked it in. Yep. We're all staying in a joint motorhome. One big bed. Motor in. Yeah, motor in.

I don't want a one big bed with you. One big bed. I don't want a one big bed with you. One big bed. I'm out. One big bed. We're not doing one big bed. There's one big bed.

A couple of texts to finish. Of things you've left in your car. My partner couldn't work out what the smell in his filthy farm ute was. I said it's because it's a filthy farm ute. However, a few weeks later, he found a dirty diaper with maggots in it. I don't think we needed that one, Vaughn. Yeah, let's leave it there. I think we could have filtered that one out.

ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. If you are looking for a long-term, committed, fruitful relationship this year, I have the six other ships, other than relationships, that you need to make sure that you're not part of. Fish and chips. Not fish and chips. Fish and chips. Friendship. Not friendships.

Okay. You've got to keep your friendships this year. Situationships. Yeah, that's one of them. Oh, yeah. I got one. So, Luanne Ward, she's a certified master matchmaker. Wait, who gave her her certification?

Is there some sort of registered master builder sort of situation for relationship people? It's like a Buzzfeed quiz I think Or it could be a polytech Yeah it could be how embarrassing Hey I went to a poly Vaughn went to a polytech Did you go to a polytech He did he doesn't want to admit it

Well you went to a drama school I think that's worse I think I went to an institute No but that was just Because you needed some time off to get your head together I think that's worse. Yeah. Honestly, nothing's worse. I think I went to an institute. No, but that was just because you needed some time off to get your head together. Yeah, that was, they don't call them that anymore. No, they don't. Anyway, so this is a dating expert from Perth. And they're not letting these shocks on me anymore.

Stay out of my brain. They're not, are they? No. She's from Perth. These are the rules of modern dating that you should look out for. The six ships. She's from Perth. Yeah, we're listening to her. I'm not listening to anybody from Perth. These are the rules of modern dating that you should look out for. The six ships. She's from Perth. Yeah, we're listening to her.

I'm not listening to anybody from Perth. She said the first one is a textationship. Okay. No, textationship. Textationship, yeah. Which is basically a phone-based relationship. It never goes much further than you're chatting across the phone. Would that be the same for just any online messaging?

Yeah, where it never goes any further than just like cowardly interactions, not face-to-face. You never meet. You're going to get out of those. You're never going to be the one. And you've probably been catfished. Yeah, that's true. His name's Dave and he's 54 from Columbia.

Not Susie, 22 from... Columbia. Columbia. A situation ship is the one you mentioned. That's the second one to look out for. Seeing someone but not defining the relationship. Yeah. Like we're hooking up,

but we're not going to call it a relationship. We don't want it to become too serious. Ugh, they're holding you back. Get out of it. The next one, number three, is a single ship. That's just your single. Yeah. But she's put a ship on the end.

Yeah. So that's what adds it to this list of ships. Just saying you're in a relationship with independence. Yeah, right. The idea of meeting someone and hooking, tethering yourself to their life is like, ugh, I'd rather do things on my own. I don't say I'd say that's intrinsically wrong.

I'd love to be single just for a little bit. Little bit. That's a weird thing for you to say. No, no, no, like once a month. Right. I'd love to just be like. Once a month, that's quite often. Months roll by now.

How often? One day a month. It's March tomorrow. Could you accumulate your one day a month And do like 12 days in December Yeah this is nice You could quite easily holiday by yourself Couldn't you Yeah very easily

I think that's why Aaron and I thrive It's because we spend plenty of time apart Yeah no I don't That's not how I work You like cuddles every night I love cuddles I'm codependent We have roles.

It's all, yeah, it's all. I just don't want to be single again. The next one, the fourth one, is a convalescenship. Convalescenship. Is that one you have in a home, a rest home? I don't know why they've used convalescence here. A convalescenship is a practical relationship where you're simply sticking around for other reasons than love.

Oh, like security, financial, even physical, I guess. Any relationship in the end. So it's more convenience than convalescence. Yeah. It's a convenienceship. Yeah, I think she's used a dumb word there. Well, she's from Perth. I'm starting to think this woman's a bit dumb.

She's dumb-dumb. She's got coal in the brain. She's a Perth moron. So the next one is a xenolation ship. Yeah. That's the next ship on the ocean. Xeno meaning strange, different, foreign. You've got no clue what the two of you are, but it feels right.

It's a bit weird. It's a bit odd. I'm not sure. I can't put a label on it. You know? And then the last one is of the ships that she's added to the list of ships is called Hopeful Entanglement.

Now, she's missed a ship. Yeah, Hopeful Entanglement ship. That's not good. Hopeful Entanglement, wasn't that that chick from Gloriva? Hopeful Entanglement. Yeah. Yeah, she got out though. She got out.

She got out, yeah. She's living in Fairleigh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she out She's living in Fairleigh Yeah, yeah, yeah But she left joy entanglement behind Yeah And USB cord entanglement Headphone, her other sibling headphone cord entanglement Yeah, yeah

So romantic entanglement-ship is about love triangles and affairs Oh, okay So leave those behind so you can start a relationship. Into a real relationship. Yeah, okay. Makes sense. Or you could discard this whole article because it's rather silly. Yeah.

Hmm. I mean, probably could have just not read that out. Yeah, probably. Sort of, I reckon about two ships in. Yeah. We could just leave. Yeah, we could get out of here. I told you, ships.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Just a reminder, you can go to ZM online. Thanks to Flight Centre, your one-stop shop for everything travel. We've got a $10,000 travel package up for grabs. Now, you've got a matched travel package to the ZM announcer. So we've each got a package there.

Bree and Clint have one. I think yours is a dead giveaway. You said one-stop shop. Do they have adapters? Have they got neck pillows? Maybe. Or are you full of it? I mean, just for the travel.

Do you get your passport done there? They do the accommodation. You're a liar. This is false advertisement. They do the flights. You're a liar. This is false advertisement. They do the flights. They do everything and they sort it all. So if you go to ZM Online, Up for Grabs, a $10,000 travel package including flights and accommodation

and a few activities as well. Pack it to sea legs if you're on the ocean. Maybe. Some no-dyer. Some dyer stop. No, that's a pharmacy thing. Well, it's not a one-stop shop then. I'm happy to have them on board, but I'm just saying.

Thank you both for adequately stalling for time so I might read this article I'm about to talk about. You did quite well, didn't we? You did very well because I forgot. And the song was I was enjoying, the music was enjoying, your company, I was enjoying just the feeling of this. It's a great day. Of this Tuesday, the last day of February,

the last day of summer. Yeah, it is. Well, if you go by the easy way, I, the last day of summer. Yeah, it is. Well, if you go by the easy way, it's just been like three months. I feel like we always have a good March. Why did you say that? You just doomed us. I'm not jinxing the weather. You jinxed it.

That was a real awful move. Climate change jinxed the weather. Jinx. So, the internet has been divided about whether or not you pick up people from the airport. This, you know, usually this sort of thing is where you say, recently on TikTok, but no, we've gone back. Twitter blew this one apart. They're still going.

Cody says, I have a friend who is 40 and damn near a billionaire. Now, that's not true. It's not a billionaire, but the very well-off friend. Yep. And I asked him what one key to his investing well is, and he told me, you never pick up friends from the airport. Okay.

He had a whole lot of other things, but he's like, never pick up friends from the airport. I mean, a friend's offer. Who offers? I don't know, because then maybe you're going to hang out with them afterwards. Right. But see, you live so far away from the airport. No one's picking me up.

No one's picking either of you two up because you live so far away. Yeah. Yeah, and then unless they live out by me, they'd have to go back. But I would also never ask. I think once you've got kind of like kids or a family or there's more than one of you, you don't ask. You don't ask. No one's putting in car seats

or something. Oh yeah. No way. Just going back somewhere. I've got to say I'd I Park Valette. Now the only reason I Park Valette is because the cost to get an Uber from my house to the airport and from the airport to my house is the exact same as driving my car and parking Valette. And parking Valette, Valet, is just the same as parking Valette.

You get a car clean. No, I don't get a car clean. The last time they did it, and I will admit, I parked there when the first floods happened. Yeah. They did a terrible job. They were trying to get the water out of the airport. Yeah, I know, but they put half of it through my boot. I mean, it was just, it was a mess.

I had some melted chocolate in the cup holder. That's still there. I don't want to deal with that. I don't think they should have to clean out your melted chocolate. Well, I've paid them to. Anyway, so I've always got my car at the airport. If I'm going just for like an overnight or something, if it's cheap. Because it is the same cost.

That's a work tax deductible, isn't it? Why are you going to Wellington? I'm going to talk to my father about business things. Right. Yeah. Tick. Tick. Whole trip's paid for.

I don't know if that's our word. I'm kidding. She's baiting them. She's baiting the IRD. She's baiting them. Come and get me. Come and get me. So this was some of the feedback.

Someone said, because they said it's about inconveniencing another human. Yeah. You should never go out of your way to inconvenience another human because they could say yes at one stage, and then when it comes to the day, they might not want to do it, but then they don't want to say no to you, but then there's a bit of a grudge built. Yeah.

So you just catch a Uber or a taxi or whatever. But somebody else said, here's my counterpoint, we miss out on key parts of community and friendship when we're constantly worried about inconveniencing each other. Yeah. Gotta be less sort of people pleasing, less worried about

putting people out. To say no. Yeah, I think so. I think the idea we should never do anything nice for each other when paying is an option is really weakening friendships, to be honest, somebody else said. Right, yeah. Wow. Meaning that, you know, you could do this to save your friend money,

but then it's your time and your time is money. It's also an act of service, though, isn't it, for some people? Yeah, but it's also a gift of money, too. It costs to get out to the airport. Are you giving them gas? Are you giving them gas money? Two dollars? It's not the 1990s and we're not on our way to Tuesday night hockey. too. The cost to get out to the airport. Are you giving them gas? Are you giving them gas money? $2? It's not the 1990s and we're not on our way to Tuesday night hockey.

$2 isn't going to cover the gas in the Starling. No. In 2023. Yeah. Someone's like somebody said that their friend asked them to pick them up from the airport and they said yeah that's fine and got there and it was their whole family and they were like I don't even know if we're all going to fit,

let alone the bags and stuff. No, no, no, no, no. So don't do that. Don't do that. They've got a surfboard as well. You've got to strap to the roof. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM.

Fellow millennials, listen up. We are listening. Well, we're not doing enough crosswords. Of the generations, we're the ones that aren't doing enough crosswords. It's because everyone's doing Wordle. Are people still Wordling? Oh, my God. I don't know if they're Wordling as much.

You're a year too late. People aren't Wordling. Baby Boomers, 38%. Gen X, 31%. 15% of millennials do a crossword. And then here comes the Gen Zers, 50% of them. But where are they finding crosswords? In the New Zealand Herald.

Wow. What a publication. Right next to the Simon Sugar's Code Cracker. Here's my problem. Cryptic crosswords. Dude, they're impossible. Should that Dilbert cartoon be in there? Is there a Dilbert cartoon that's been cancelled?

I'm not kidding, it's been cancelled. Now, because Aaron loves it. What's Aaron? Aaron's 41. He's a millennial, eh? He's a millennial, yep. Cusp. He loves crosswords.

Like, does one probably every second day or so. I love crosswords too, but I don't get crypto crosswords. But once you do more of them, you learn the rules and how it works. But no one's ever explained to me how a cryptic crossword works. I feel like... If only there was some sort of massive search engine that you could look up and learn how to do it. That's a great idea.

Surely with technology. Don't share our business idea. Surely with technology. But what, they would be online. It would be online. No, yeah, because there's all these little rules on how they do them. There's like 10 games that they play on how to come up with these cryptic things. Go round the bend, sit on and change, vital to construction.

Crane. So that would be like go round. Six and five. Oh, my God, that sounds too hard. But sometimes go round the bend will be like, okay, so what's around the word bend? It's got nothing to do with actually. How are millennials getting, are they buying crossword books

or printing them out online? Apparently they're doing it, but you can do it online. Printing them out? You can do it online, but then yeah, the books at the supermarket, where the magazines used to be. There's books now that are like, she's just doing crosswords and stuff. Don't you lie to me.

Mums are still buying Magazines Magazines don't exist anymore They do Printing them out online I'm still stuck on the fact That Fletch thinks That millennials are

Printing Gen Z's are printing them out online I will not do a crossword On a phone app It's gotta be It's gotta be on paper Oh it's gotta be on paper You've gotta make mistakes

And then Yeah yeah Cross them out Go heavy over it In a pen I love my crosswords You scratch off a letter Yeah that's And you can win money And you can win money Go heavy over it in the pen. I love my crosswords. You scratch off a letter.

Yeah, that's good. And you can win money. And you can win money. Those are the best crosswords. Oh, same. Yeah, those are good. Oh, yeah. Fish will almost merge in with the big apple.

Six-letter word. What? Fish will almost. New York. New York. Almost merge in. New pork, which is almost fish. Delicious New Pork.

You're not very good at these cryptic passwords. How do these work? I'm going to Google how cryptic passwords work. Because everyone, like a little riddle. Yeah. Is that what it is? Dear little fellow, little bear, embracing the girl. Well, what's that one, the bumper word fit?

That doesn't even have numbers on it. How do you know which? This is fun. The bumper word fit is fun. So it starts with one, and you can see here, there's a room for a four-letter word that starts with W. So you find the four-letter words. There's only one available, and it's wipe. So you would put wipe across there,

then you solve the clues as to what other words fit in these gaps. Okay, okay. I used to love that one. That's a good, that gets the brain. Right. So, but why are GNZ doing this more? Does it say in the study? Because they're so boring.

They don't party. They don't go out. Remember how we used to go drinking? Yeah. Constantly trying to fornicate. Constantly. It was constant. It was all we thought about.

We watched the Twin Towers come down in 2001 and you know what we immediately thought? Fornication. I better get out there and get bonered. Because life's short, baby. Life's short, but this next generation gin's dreary, dreary, dreary. We don't drink. We don't do this.

Yeah. I don't know if I want to see a thousand genitals. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. Shannon at the, Shannon like pyjamas at the social media is quite upset that you said the we knit thing.

I'm like, have a shot. Have a shot. It's like they're a car with a flat battery. They need a jump start. They do. I feel like we need a plug. We need to put jumper cables on our nipples and then on their nipples.

Oh, okay. And then be like like here's a little bit of 90s juice for you baby play zed in's fledgeborn and hayley now in 1998 i had a girlfriend called amber we went to the ball together and we had a kiss afterwards watching forest we had a kiss in the after after ball. Okay. After the after ball. Yep.

We went to our friend's house, had a smooch while Forrest Gump was on. How old are you at this point? 16. Yeah. First kiss. I'll say it. I waited. Yeah.

I didn't rush into anything. Wow. A little smooch there. Anyway, Amber messaged me at the weekend. She unfortunately suffered some flood damage. Oh, mate. I don't know. At her house.

She's got a husband and kids now. It's not like she's sitting in a dark room pining for the good old days. She's every day since. She's probably given me not a second thought. No, she wouldn't have. Since the day. I wouldn't have. Since the day. I wouldn't have. Well, hasn't she got a family now?

Yeah, it's just that she's got a husband and she's got kids. Although the husband looks like there's similarities. We ran into them at the night markets once and we walked away and Sharda said, it is pretty funny that she ended up marrying someone that looks a bit like you. Anyway, that's by the by. So she messaged me at the weekend, nothing like some flood damage to bring some gold to the surface. It's good that she's got a silver lining.

It was an accident, but I diligently went through a collection of sodden letters to find this. Oh, letters. I know. Oh, Vaughn, I'm so embarrassed for you. So I said, I don't want to see I don't want to see Any of them

And she's like The sad news is Like there was one That was readable But it was so wet When I read it I picked it up It ripped

The rest The rest are lost To the annals of time And I said Thank the good lord 16 year old Vaughn Was very embarrassing And you would have been

Absolutely gushing I would have been Like trying to come across real like, I'm actually quite like different to the other guys. I'm quite like mature. Here's my thoughts on a few things. Yeah. We do things a bit differently around here. Yeah, we do things.

I don't know if you've dined with us before, but we do things a little bit differently. But I'm just doing everything that any 16-year-old dude's trying to do to impress girls. Have you told her at this stage you love her? No, no, I never told her I loved her. Sharlay was the first person I said I love you to. Yeah, I know.

Took him a while. God, I threw it around willy-nilly. You were tossing a lot around willy-nilly in those 10 years. So Amber really liked two things, Volkswagen and Mark Ellis. She loved Mark Ellis. Was this at the height of his, he would have just been in the All Blanks and he was Game of Two Harves.

I think it was pre-Game of Two Harves. I think it was early Sports Cafe when he was just like the biggest larrikin on television. Yeah, he was. He was a real larrikin. Him and Reggie were up to norikin on television. Yeah, he was. He was a real larrikin. Him and Ritchie were up to no good on TV shows. Yeah, they were. Him and Ritchie were a well-known couple at that time.

She had a massive thing for Mark Ellis. She loved his long curly hair that he had at that stage. Yeah, right. So I wrote Mark Ellis a letter. Did you? Wait, 16-year-old Vaughn did? 16-year-old Vaughn Smith wrote Mark Ellis a letter. I think I just sent it like like, Sports Cafe or something.

So where else would I have got a postal address for Mark Ellis? I don't know. Yeah. So I sent Mark Ellis a letter. And it was like, I can't read what I wrote to him. But I remember along the lines of, like, hey, mate, my girlfriend's a huge fan. Something probably like, don't steal her.

Even though he would have been, like, in his late 20s and she was 16. It's like, that's not happening. Just don't. Not that kind of guy. And I said, I don't know if you do like sign photographs because this was the day where i couldn't have printed one off the internet because i didn't have the internet yeah and you would have had a printer and it would have cost like ten dollars to print something off yeah at the local paper plus so i just wrote and i said i don't know if you've got like photos or

whatever but i was just wondering if i could get like a quick little note. And he wrote back, sorry, Cobber. I have no photos. Take it easy and have a good one. And then underneath he wrote, to Amber, all the best in the future. Love, Mark Ellis. Oh, that's a nice gift. So that was the gift I got her when we were dating.

And she still got it. She said it survived the flight. A little bit wet, but she went purposely looking for it. Oh, that is so cute. And she got it out of this folder of letters and she said it survived. So your gift to her was getting her horned up for another man. What can I say? I still do it. Because of all you.

I still do it. That's one of his fantasies. That would be like Aaron hunting out Jason Momoa for a signed photo. I'd keel over. It would be incredible. It would be an incredible gift. And you'd be forever in your fiancé's debt. It would be the first thing I would grab in the event of an emergency.

Jason Momoa. Yeah. And the cat. The cat and Jason Momoa. Yeah. He'd be pretty good to float on too. Oh, my God. It got me thinking. Who, Jason Momoa? Yeah. I'd be pretty good to float on too. Oh my God. It got me thinking.

Who, Jason Marmore? Yeah. I don't think he'd be floaty. Oh yeah, he would. He'd be sinky. He'd be so bubbly. You just hold on to one of his arms. No, he'd be sinky.

No, he would like wade through. He's bloody Aquaman for God's sake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd wade through it and you'd be on his back like, help, help, wee. Now I've set you going, haven't I? Yeah. I'm flushed.

But it got me thinking about, like, when you were a teenager, what was the weirdest gift you got a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Like, because you don't have a lot of money, so you might just, like, buy them something real cheap, or you, like, make them something, or you do your absolute earnest best to try to. Poetry. Yeah, maybe you gifted them a poem.

Yeah, that was me. Oh, my God. People go the other way too and go way over the top. You spend their whole allowance. You spend like all their saved money on something way too ridiculous. Their teenage hormones are like, no, that money you've got saved for the car, take it and buy a bracelet. Yeah.

But go into a Michael Hill jewellery and buy the most expensive one you can. But you've only been, no one had two weeks. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I'm your hormones, listen to me. And now we're going to have a cry. And now we feel like playing with ourselves. I'm so confused! Buy the bracelet! Alright, 0800DARLS at

him. We want to take your calls now. Text her as well. 9696 What was the weirdest thing you bought a teenage boyfriend or girlfriend? Probably like a bloody CD wallet or something. Just store all their CDs. Or tell us the weird, unusual gifts you got as a teenager. Oh, yeah, maybe someone went too far with their gift.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I heard from my high school girlfriend at the weekend, and she had some flood damage, but the gift I got her of an autograph and a kind message from Mark Ellis. But he survived it all. I mean, I could probably get her another one if she had lost it. In the floods.

That would be a funny gift actually. Maybe I should just try to get her another one because this one was... No, don't go buying a married woman a gift. But I'm not buying her a gift, it's just pestering Mark Ellis for an autograph. The key would be pest. I I'm not buying her a gift. It's just pestering Mark Ellis for an autograph. Yeah, keyword being pest. I know, and he's so rich now. People are like, I don't have time to be doing this.

I'll be like, oh, come on, yeah, time of 1990. You've changed, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Money's changed you. Oh, yeah, money's changed you. He's the sort of guy that wouldn't like being told that money's changed him. No, yeah. No.

Money's changed him. So we want to know, when you were a teenager, what silly gifts, unusual gifts you got and maybe bought somebody. I don't know how many people owning up to being the person that It's embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. It's embarrassing, but then if you can look back and see what you did as a teenager and be like, well that's embarrassing or I've changed, then that's a good sign that you recognise that you've changed. If you look back and you're like, man, I peaked at high school

when I gave that girl a ring made of a big shell I found on the beach and then drank too much and spewed on her mum's rug. That's... That seemed very specific. That's got a little specific. Alana, what was the gift that you received as a teenager? Good morning, long-time listener, first-time caller. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Welcome, welcome, Alana. No, my heart and I welcome. I'm glad this topic's dragged you out of the shadows. Yeah, what took you so long? Well, I did speak up that, have I, Oh, God, what's the show you guys do? Have you been paying attention? I know, it's been a while, hasn't it? Yeah, I did speak up because I went to both toy and unitech.

Oh, my God. So I yelled at you. I'm so embarrassed for you. So embarrassing. So what was the gift that you got as a teenager? I'd been seeing this guy for about a month. I was turning 18. I was his first girlfriend.

Both of us were still virgins. And he gave me an orgasmatron. Oh, my God. Does that plug into the wall? It's a head scratcher. Oh, yeah. It's not as rude as it sounds. They were marketed as the orgasmatron in the 90s and early 2000s

because they're the things that, they're the head massagers that you can, like, fold flat, but then they get like a spider and they go over your head. Now, if you do it to yourself, no good. No good. It's got to be controlled by somebody else. And they're amazing when they, it's like. And it does, it makes you go. Did it get the, did it get you rumbling and tumbling?

No, but I do love a good head scratch ever now, because I'm married to him now. Oh, it worked. Happy ending, it worked. And you're still waiting. It was just the name of it. He just got so much grief from our friends. Yeah, that was what they were marketed as, the orgasmatron.

Because it makes you go like, oh. I've still got one. They crack me up so much. Because they always sell go like, oh. I've still got one. They crack me up so much. Because they always sell them in malls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But every now and then you get it out and you go around and you give everybody a bit of milk. Everyone reacts the same.

Everyone goes, ah. Alana, thanks. You called some messages in. There are some beauties. I got an angel made out of safety pins as a Christmas gift when I was 18. Oh, my God. That's so punk.

After two weeks, my 16-year-old boyfriend got me the sleep with me ring. I declined to sleep with him and he took back the ring. Classy. Speaking of rings, let's go to Shannon, Shannon Pajamas at the social media desk. How old were you when you got this gift? I was 18 with my ex-boyfriend. And he was quite affluent.

And he quite often, every anniversary, I'm talking like monthly, would buy me jewelry. Monthly anniversaries. Happy four months, babe. Can't believe I had life before you. Yeah. So I had maybe from him about 10 rings. And one of them was a $5,000 diamond ring. Get a grip. He's a teenager.

Yeah, he's a teenager. When did he buy? You were 18? Yes, yeah. And he would buy me a lot. And then when we broke up, I said, so what are we doing? And he said, sell them. And I said, bet.

So I sold them all. How much did you get for all the rings? I pawned them off so maybe a couple grand, three grand, four grand. And then cashies, they mark them up at cashies when you leave, don't they? Within that year I had another guy who

proposed to me after one night and he offered me the ring and I said no, but... That's a giant red flag that one, isn't it? I'm starting to think that Shanalette must be an absolute in the bed. Well, her mum was hot legs. I know. Now, Shannon's a gorgeous woman, but she's got magical powers down there.

How did this 18-year-old... How did he have this money? Was he at private school? Yes, yeah. So I didn't know he was rich. And then one day he's like, do you want to come to my parents' house? And I was like, yeah. We went and they had a helicopter pad. I was like know he was rich. And then one day he's like, do you want to come to my parents' house? And I was like, yeah.

We went and they had a helicopter pad. Oh, okay. You should have married him. You should have married him. Yeah, what's his number? Is he single? The funny thing is, his name's Vaughn. It's not you.

No. Who's your helicopter pad? I'm the poor one. You're the poor Vaughn. I'm the poor one You're the poor one Alright, some more messages in We're not official boyfriend but a boy trying to win me over gave me a gardening machete Now if you'd shown interest in a gardening machete I can understand he may have been listening

I got a 1kg bag of those blue paintbrush lollipops for Valentine's Day How great was an insane bulk purchase to give to someone you had a crush on? Yeah. Like what? What are you buying in bulk?

Somebody else messaged, I got bought a year's worth of M&M's and it was a bag of M&M's for every day. It was 365 bags of M&M's. That's cute. I'd like that. Peanut. But then you'd grow to hate them

as you got like, you know, more weightier. Yeah, and your teeth fell out. Yeah. My ex-boyfriend gave me a bottle, a small bottle of perfume that was half empty and you could see where he'd peeled tester off. And I said, was this a tester? He said, no, this is just how they do this bottle. They only half fill it.

That was also shoplifted, wasn't it? What, 100% you're not allowed to purchase them? Oh, 1,000% stolen. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Awesome. Today's fact of the day is the first recorded, well, first we can find proof of,

parking infringement sign was erected in ancient Assyria. Okay. In approximately 700 BC. What did it say? This is To give you This is the same position As the modern city

In northern Iraq Mosul Oh yeah That's where this Fit itself It said The oldest parking sign said Royal Road

Let no man decrease it Meant you couldn't park A chariot there Right This was A restriction made by The king in the area at the time, Senna Shareeb. This is absolutely typical of the king

because now I've got to park in bloody Wilson. Oh, I know. Exactly. And they're not cheap, are they? Oh, it says like $5 per half hour. Per first five minutes. I know. Get a crap.

Two minutes free. Yeah. Sure. $200 every minute thereafter. So it pertained to the sacred main processional way through Nivea. Not Nivea. I can see you getting your eyes out. Well, because you know I...

That's your deodorant of choice. That's my deodorant. Do Nivea. I know I'm a Nivea man. Crazy. I get a lot of compliments for it. Mitchum for life, guys. Mitchum for life.

Mitchum. Mitchum sport. Mitchum sport. There's a white stain on my top, though. Noum. Mitchum sport, not bad. Mitchum sport. There's a white stain on my top, though. No, no. Get the clinical gel one. It's good.

Nineveh, and you might be thinking, what do you think was the payment for if you parked your chariot on this sacred main processional way

through his city? A goat. A couple of acorns or something. The penalty was death followed by your impaling outside of your own home. Oh, wow.

Well, then next time the council gives you a ticket, just think how lucky you are. It could be worse. I could have been living in ancient Nineveh. Nineveh. Nineveh.

Not the deodorant. Not the deodorant. Where if I had parked my chariot in the wrong place, I would have been killed and then impaled outside my home just as a reminder

to my family that I parked the chariot in the wrong spot. God, would you think, would you risk it if you just needed to run into the dairy for some milk? You're like... Because by the time they get there to get the killer there... Yeah. You'll be gone.

You'll be back and you'll get your milk. You'll be gone, yeah. And get your chariot plates. Yeah. And they're taking a stone carving of your car so they can prove it later. You'll be done. You'll be out of there.

Because they've got to chisel the ticket. They've got to chisel the ticket. They've got to chisel the photo. They've got to do a lot of chiseling. I reckon you can be in and out for the milk in no time. Have you seen what numbers used to look like? Oh, yeah. I can read them.

There was like Vs and Xs and stuff. Vs, I know. Like, what even is this? What the hell number is V? Vs are lettered. You dummy. Yeah, that was in Rome though. Yeah, right.

If we're going to try to keep this sort of ad, I don't want to know no but this. Don't come in with facts to this role play. But the Middle East actually invented the modern numerical systems. Right. I don't want to. Okay. Two for one.

This is a two for. You guys just don't know as much as me and that's okay. That's all right. So today's fact of the day is the first parking infringement was death and then impaling outside your own home. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. There is a reason why reversing into a park, and I'm not talking a parallel park, because that one you should always reverse into, unless there's plenty of space. Otherwise you'll curb your tyres, like I did the other day. And everyone at the cafe turned and was like, Jeepers, what a crunch. I'm talking about when you've just got your normal parks,

like your supermarket car parks. Yeah. Reversing it. There's a reason why, many reasons actually, why reversing to a car park is just better. Not only do you look pretty sick, pretty cool. Yeah. Madeline Sami once told me it gave me big lesbian energy.

Now, I don't know where that came from. Because you do this all the time. No, I don't know where that came from. Because you do this all the time. No, you don't. Sleep with women. No, Shannon Dabble's room. I don't know if I'd say all the time. No, you said dabble. But no, I mean reverse into car parks.

Yeah, I love a reverse. Because our friend of the show, James, one of my good friends, he does this all the time as well. And he's got a tiny, stupid little car. He's got a Suzuki Swift. Yeah. But he loves reversing in.

And then it means when you're leaving, you're straight out. For me, I get a better park. Because you can get it straighter. When you're, like, turning into a park, you get, I don't know, less control of the nose. Reverse in leaves your boot, boot to boot with the car behind you. There's not enough room to get your trolley down in there. No good at a supermarket. No good at a supermarket.

No good at a supermarket. This is one of the points they said for, against, sorry, backing in. Right. Is that, yeah, not access to your boot. Well, yeah, because that's the two main reasons I go. I go to the supermarket or I go to Mitre 10 and both of those things require boot access. Those are the only times you leave the house. You're right.

No, so when you're looking to exit, of course, it's so much easier. And people are more likely to let you in when you're exiting somewhere so that you can, you know, rather than having to like reverse into them and then go. Yeah. So it's easy to leave. And also you have more control over the wheel at the back when you're trying to get your back in apparently. Yeah, it's like driving a forklift because the back wheels steer

so you can be more agile. Yeah. And he also says, usually if you reverse park at the start of your shopping trip, you are more mentally fresh. No, that's not true. And aware of your surroundings.

But at the end of the shopping trip, we are all... You're fatigued. Oh, I get you. I get you. Better time to be reversing. Or just park in the parents' park because they're so wide and roomy. Where's your baby?

It's at home. Do you put a pram in your car? If I had one, I would. If you had a car, you would put a pram in your car. Absolutely put a babysitter in the back just to get that sweet park. You're a bloody, you're a piece of work. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Do you watch TV or movies with the subtitles on?

Big subtitles guy over here. Love subtitles. English speaking. Yep. And you put the subtitles on. Just have the subtitles on. It's a real Gen Z thing, isn't it? I'm not here to read a book.

No, I listen, but it's the backup of, what did they say? Rather than having to pause and go back 10 seconds and be like, what did they say? Don't watch something if you're not going to watch it. No, I am watching. I'm listening, but they talk quietly. No, you're on your phone. There are some mumbling actors. No, if I was on my phone, I couldn't read the subtitles.

Hmm. They're talking quietly. I think you missed the image. The ads are too loud. The ads are too loud and they're not speaking quite loudly enough. I just feel like if you're looking down at the bottom of the screen, you're missing what the director wanted you to see.

No, I'm taking it all in. I'll always subtitle with a foreign film or like a Physical 100. Subtitles on. Yeah, well, otherwise you would just be completely guessing what another language you're speaking. You're speaking in all of them. Some people use the sound dub, which I hate.

Oh, my God. That's so much worse. I just can't do it. Do you remember with Squid Game? It would automatically do it for episode one, and I was like... You change it to Korean and turn it on subtitles. Hey, don't push me. What are you doing?

Number three, two, one, are you? I see. I am one, two, four. I see. You are there. I see. There's never a lot of budget for the voiceover actors this year. Well, look, I've never been asked.

I've never been asked to dub a film. It'd be fun. Well, um... Imagine if one person did all the voices. Today's silly little poll. Do you watch TV or movies with subtitles on? Yes, 37%. 63% said uno.

That's a lot of people reading books when they should be watching films. Sarah, if you don't like it, you're just a slow reader. That's what, with Physical 100, the Korean sort of Ninja Warrior, Squid Game-esque show on Netflix. Very, very good. It's so good. We have to have the English dubbing on because we're watching it with the girls and it's going so fast.

But it's my wife that's the one that's like the subtitles i can't keep up with them what's the english dubbing like on there ah not great if it wasn't american and it was like cockney it's yeah it's not it's real broad stroke american right like not east coast not west coast Just general Certainly not south Not midwest Yeah just general General American Dorothy says Life's too short To read subtitles Yeah

Dorothy I love the name Dorothy so much Just side note I'd probably call you Dot Dot Yeah I love a little dot Dot

Dorothy's are never called Doro I think Doro's a name Doro's a great Like Zorro Like Zorro's brother Doro Yeah Well Doro's sister Is it you Zorro No it's called Doro. I think Doro's a name. Doro's a great, like Zorro. Like Zorro's brother, Doro. Yeah. Well,

Zorro's sister. Is it you, Zorro? No, it's me, Doro. Doro, his auntie. Now, do you need any washing done? Because I'm washing Zorro's capes. I've got some scones. Lisa says,

so I can hear when they mumble or when the husband starts tapping on about trucks or whatever and I can still watch TV. I'm with you there, Lisa. If they start to mumble, I need the subtitles. What is she watching when the husband's harping on about trucks? Also and I can still watch TV. I'm with you there, Lisa. If they start to mumble I need the subtitles. What is she watching with her husband's harping on about trucks?

What are these crap productions that don't have the sound guy in close enough? It's like a real quiet, you know? The lapel mic might have dropped. And sometimes the subtitles will tell you things that you just would never hear anyway. Yeah, right. Like, you know, if someone's just talking in the background and it doesn't really matter what they're saying,

sometimes you get subtitles for that. Yeah. And you're like, interesting. Peggy says, the best way to learn a new language, and then it's kind of hard to stop. If you can hear what's happening in a different language, see the words on screen, and learn a language from that, Peggy. Smart, you're smart. I think you might have a special skill. No one else does. No.

No one else does that, Peggy. Samoa says, I don't want the kids To hear the dirty words Being said Oh yeah okay So subtitles So she watches the subtitles No I'm mute

I'm mute Oh No you've got to have Atmospheric sounds No you've got to have Atmospheric sounds Oh you don't need All the atmospheric sounds

Kate says Because my partner is Swedish And annoys the F out of me Who the partner annoys Who do you think Or Leave him Well he His English might not be His first language because my partner is Swedish and it annoys the F out of me. Who the partner annoys you, do you think? Or... Leave him.

Well, his English might not be his first language, so subtitles are on as a backup. Do you think... Do they have Swedish subtitles? I've never flipped all the way through the subtitles. Yeah, I think they've got...

Yeah, Swedish will be there. I'd also have that Swedish. They probably got a little bit of German or a little bit of French or a little bit of, you know, one of the other European languages up their sleeve, eh? Peach says, so I can eat crunchy snacks

and still hear the movie without turning it up, obviously. God, snacks are loud in your own head, aren't they? Yeah. Well, it vibrates up the jawbone into the eardrum. It's a lot. Yeah. I watch it at the gym, says Shannon, so easier to follow in the treadmill,

but I feel like I can follow better with them on regardless. That's another thing. I watch a lot of TV shows on my iPad at the gym so I just always have the subtitles on because of doof, doof, doof, doof, doof. You can still hear it but it just fills in the gaps. You're a plodder, aren't you? You're real heavy. Wow, the legs.

I'm just pumping. I'm just pumping on that thing. Have you ever run on one of those treadmills with a curve to it? Oh my god, and it's just like a rotating I've never done it. It's so scary. Oh no, I don't want to do that. Neither, it looks terrifying. I'm a flat surface guy. Because the faster you go, the faster it goes. And then you're like, how do I slow this down?

Yeah. It's very scary. I just jump, I fall off the back. They're really hard. Yeah. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review.

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