ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 28th January 2022

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

3/5 can't do something  Silly Little Poll!  Don't Get Fletch Started  Top 6: Less Sex  Fletch's Health Scare  Hayleys Version  Am I A Bad Person?  Friday Rankings!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. I need your input on something, lads. Yep. So me and my friends, so it's three couples, me, Aaron and four of our friends,

are doing a come dine with me. You know the show where you go over to each other's house and you have a three-course meal. I thought you were going to tell us you were having an orgy or a smelly party. Well, don't rule it out just yet. So you go over, you have a three-course meal, entree, main, dessert, and you provide a source of entertainment, which is where your idea could come in for ours.

Sunday is our first at our friends. And I would say these guys are the premier hosts. So they put on everything. Do they do all the food and everything? They do all the food and everything. Oh, wow. They curate the drinks menu, everything from nibbles to when you leave. Are they first?

They're first. You should have gone first because of inflation. I know. Apparently everything is going up next month. Is it moving that quickly from week to week? Yeah, it'll be 8% next month. Well, I'm going to insist that we go second, but I don't know what theme to do and what source of entertainment to provide.

Mexican. Well, we thought maybe doing like American diner, Rubens. Oh, yeah. Rubens. For dinner. Yeah. But you could use the barbecue and do American diner ribs and you could do wings. Yeah, some nice pastrami.

Yeah, okay. And then we would do poutine on the side maybe. Oh, yeah. You know, sort of an American-based, well, that's more Canadian. No, he's the leader of Russia, isn't he? Close. So if we go with this American theme, what should my source of entertainment be? We thought about doing-

Line dancing. Could be line dancing. You're going American, like, South barbecue. I was thinking more like 50s LA diner. Well, it's all American, isn't it? We could do roller skates. Aaron suggested a quiz on the presidents, and I was thinking more like 50s LA diner. Well, it's all American, isn't it? We could do roller skates. Aaron suggested a quiz on the presidents, and I was like, do we want to keep these friends? A quiz on the American presidents.

His idea of fun is different. I don't know. What about some lasso lessons? Rock and roll dancing? Axe throwing in the backyard. We've got a big backyard. Yeah. Okay. Play. ZM's F. Axe throwing in the backyard. We've got a big backyard. Yeah. Okay.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleach, Fawn and Hayley. Happy Friday. Happy indeed. I'm in such a great mood this morning because I listened to Shania Twain. Yes. All the way from home to here. And then

Jared and I are walking into work and you were beeping, waking up the neighbours. I know. I forgot that it was 5 o'clock. 5am? Yeah. Sorry, you're allowed to beep in Central City. I think you are. No one lives here. No, you're not. That's your fault for living in a high density area. Who lives in the central business district? I do.

Yeah. And people beep all the time. Good. Keep you on your toes. Oh, come out. Shall I come out to your neighbourhood and beep? No, no, we're very quiet. People out my way have guns. I'd probably, I'd avoid it personally.

Yeah. Yeah, fair call, actually. All right, your chance to win free fuel again this morning at 7 o'clock and 8 with ZMT Tank. Listen out for the activator. Top six on the way. Yeah, we're, not Fletch, having less sex than ever. You're still

clocking up the K's, eh? You're like a courier and your penis is a high-ace van. It is absolutely. The hazard lights are on and it'll park wherever it wants. And open up the back and it's full of presents.

This is what we call slander and defamation. I don't know who to believe. For it to be defamation, you have to prove me wrong. And good sir, I wish you all the best. Get out of here with your slanderous accusations. But I've got the top six reasons we're having less sex. All right, it's coming up on the show. Next.

Coming up next, three in five people can't handle this. I'll tell you what it is. Why did you point to yourself? Because I can't handle it. Three out of five people can't handle this. Can't handle this.

This is bound to rock a few people up. We know how you vegans like to get all hot under the collar. But it turns out there's been a study that found out that three in five people cannot sustain a plant-based diet after they give it a go. I mean, I feel like lots after they give it a go. I mean, I feel like lots of people give it a go, but most of us can't stick to it. Oh, yeah.

Can't stick to it like, it's too hard, or can't stick to it like physically your body's like, please. There's three main reasons. One is the lack of flavour and taste. Well, you're not marinating your tofu right, are you? I mean, you're not. You're not marinating your tofu right.

The second reason... And, you know, I'll be more likely to go carnivorous than vegan or vegetarian, but I have had some tasty vegetarian dishes. There's a pack of tofu in my fridge right now. Stand behind me, vegans and vegetarians.

I'll shield you from this attack because I'm full of iron and you're looking a little anemic. But I'll say they make some tasty dishes! They do. Another reason why people can't stick to it is that it's just too hard. There's not enough options

that they're out and about. And usually if you go to like a general restaurant, I think it's better these days, but generally there's like two vegetarian or vegan options and like seven meaty options. That would be the hardest, right? Because on a menu, 98% of it is, yeah. I guess I'm getting The pumpkin risotto

Hold the parmesan Yeah You know You could have The fake parmesan Tell you what It's a no from me And the third reason

Is that Their family That's my laptop Good to have Andrew Mulligan On the show Thank you Andrew Lovely man

The third reason Is that yeah Their family Or the people They lived with didn't do it, so it was too hard. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, like I'm being vegan, but Aaron's eating a steak a day. I think those last two kind of almost fall under the same umbrella. It'd be all prep.

Too hard. And everyone goes, that's the worst part about trying to eat right. Having to be prepared and not just super convenient deciding what you're going to have an hour before you have it. Yeah. I feel like I could do vegetarian. I always said to Aaron, like, if we ever moved somewhere like a lifestyle block and had animals, whatever animals we have, we can no longer eat. So if we start to get chickens, you can't eat chicken anymore. You've all to be screwed.

I've had them all. Anything. Yeah. We've had. all. Pork, anything. You've got all of them. Venison? We haven't had... That's a rich meat. To live on nothing but venison would be quite indulgent. But yeah, we've got cows, chickens, pigs, sheep.

I mean, there's your four main food groups. I mean, I'm happy to be proved wrong, but years ago I tried to give up dairy for tummy reasons more than vegan reasons. And vegan cheese is just as bad. It's bad. I don't think I've ever had it. There might have been advancements in the-

Nutritional yeast? Get out. What? There's definitely a bigger- It's like a cheesy-based yeast flake. You sprinkle it on, eh? And you sprinkle it. It adds like a cheesiness.

It doesn't. It tastes like yeast. The wrong sort, though. The wrong. The wrong sort of cheesiness. It's definitely a bigger section now, though, for those kind of products. So, yeah, they're coming along. Still not as big as the Mexican section.

That's a boy. Jared just messaged saying that nutritious yeast is the bomb. Well, Jared lives with a vegan. I'm so sorry. Vegetarian. The middie is vegetarian, isn't she? Yeah, with a slight dairy situation. So we chuck the nutritious yeast in like the mac and cheese

or anything kind of saucy and cheesy. And does it just make everything taste like Vegemite or Marmite? No, it makes everything taste like kind of cheddar-y. Yeah, it is cheddar-y. Oh, I could be on board with that. I could have it in addition to cheddar, but I'm not having it in replacement of. No, no.

And you know when you get those like vegan mozzarella's and you put them on a pizza and they don't melt? So you just get it out and they've just gone like crisp cardboard shreds. It sounds like you've really tried. I have tried. Yeah. So I've gone back to cheese. Well, points to you. I have tried. Yeah. So I've gone back to cheese. Points to you.

Thanks so much. Next on the show, one easy trick to feel more confident at work. How are we feeling confident-wise? Today? On top of the world. Carry a little knife? Keep up with me. Carry a little knife. It is not carry a little knife.

Well, one easy psychological trick that helps you feel more confident at work is power dressing. Oh, the old top button and a nice blazer. As Vaughan and I sit here in T-shirts and jeans. I'd hate a job where you had to power dress. Oh, yeah. I didn't even wear a bra today. Hot, hot plane.

In its own way, power. Like, take that, Patriot. I suppose so. Why should I put the Rissols in a brassiere, you know? Pop them up. Let them hang down. Yeah. Let them sit how they want.

I feel like now we're just dancing. Dancing. Dangerous territory. Dancing very close to the HR line. So I feel this is more aimed at women, this article. Of course. And this is from a behavioural psychologist, Professor Carolyn Mair,

who's the author of The Psychology of Fashion. Oh. Just about how just power dressing for work can make you feel more confident. I mean the advancements in women's suits I wear a lot of suits because hosting have you been paying attention? I reckon I've worn

60 to 70 suits in the last two years and the suits are awesome now I feel like with women they used to always be like a little like cinched in waist and a little short jacket and silly pants. But now they're cool. Wear a woman's jacket sat in the shoulder pad situation.

I think we're going back to big. Going back to a bigger shoulder pad. Broader. That's what it says. So what to wear when power dressing. Some tips. Avoid showing skin to a certain degree unless it makes you feel powerful. Yeah, absolutely.

Structured garments. Go for shoulder pads or wide shoulders. Darts and tailoring and the likes. Bold and sharp colours. Yeah. Yeah, and a little knife. No. No knife.

Nothing on this list says carry a little knife. You don't need a knife. Fitted clothes. Slim fit shirts and tops. Fitted trousers. And a switch knife. You don't need a knife. Fitted clothes, slim fit shirts and tops, fitted trousers. And a switchblade. And accessories. Actually,

knives could come under accessories. I had a... Have you ever, when you hold a knife, it does give you a... Gives you a... A feeling of power. Big knife energy.

Yeah, I'll tell you what gives you even more of a feeling of power. A sword. But it's a workplace. So stop being silly. That could be a statement accessory. Statement watches, chokers,

high leather boots. If I had a female manager and she rocked into work in sort of like a, not medieval, but like early 1800s, you know, like high regal court of England,

traditional male attire and on her waist was a sword. I'd listen. I would listen. I would give her my undivided attention. I don't know. What is this obsession with carrying a knife? I had a knife.

Aaron bought me one of those ones where you switch up and it juts out. Those are illegal, so don't talk too much about that. We got it from Thailand. I thought so, I thought so. And he brought it for much about that. Yeah, we got it from Thailand. Yeah. Thought so, thought so, thought so. And he brought it for me. He was like, protection while you're out. Keep it in your handbag.

But I was always so nervous that I would maybe a few drinks on board be rummaging for my keys at the end of the night. Stab yourself in the hand. And it was like, it would just like jut out. It would go through your hand. It was so sharp. Right. Are they illegal?

Those are. And that taser you brought back as well. Does it? Yes. And the ninja stars, hand it all over. Remember travelling guys? All the souvenirs you'd get. Should we do power dressing Fridays? It sounds

like an idea, but yeah, once and then I don't own a shirt. And then you've got to dry clean the suit. You can't just bang them in the wash these days. don't own a shirt. And then you've got to dry clean the suit. You can't just bang them in the wash these days. He doesn't own a shirt so much that there was a shirt here at work that if he claimed, I don't own a shirt, they'd be like here's the shirt that we keep at work.

A work shirt. It was a salmon flavoured. So that encouraged you licked the shirt. Salmon coloured so it would really make him want to get a shirt. Yeah, just got me out of a lot of events. 18 past six, next on the show.

Silly little pole, silly little pole. Do you save the favourite part of the meal for last? Blackboard and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. Do you save your favourite part of the meal to eat last? This was advice given to me by my grandfather because I ate

everything growing up. I just loved food. As you can probably see. What about veggies and stuff? We weren't allowed to leave the table until we ate our peas and stuff. Now we slammed them. They were eaten. But I remember coming across a leek for the first time in my life as a child. How'd that go? How was it cooked?

Sautéed? to a soggy death. It certainly wasn't sautéed. My nan cooked it. It might have been like boiled and then it might have had a bit of cheese sauce on it. But I'd never come across it before and I couldn't handle it. And my grandfather, I remember it as clear as a bell, said, here's the trick to getting through anything you don't like. You eat it first and then your reward is the part that you like.

Absolutely. For me, that was always the meat and taties. But then when you have a meal and there's delicious meaty bits, you just want a little bit first, right? Yeah. Like, I'll have a little bit and then go to the veggies or the salad and then go back to the meat. But there'll always be meat for the very last fork.

Yeah, I'm a fork curator as well. So I'll never mix the plate. Aaron's a, you know, a stirrer. Oh. Stirs the plate together. Well, so he'll get his plate of food and then stir the whole thing. Mix it all up and then just chuck it all in. Whereas I go, like this fork will have that and that and that and that and that.

But then I'm the same. I'll go the good thing first and then I'll sit back for a bit and hoon the salad. Yeah. And then I'll come back to the perfect forkful that I've left behind.

The last one. The thoughtful forkful. The only time I'll stir a plate a la Greg Grover from Nova, it would be if you were having like a big meaty stew and there was like mashed potato as well and I just hoon it all in.

But then what's the point? Because you need to get like the right amount of mash and then the right amount of stew. No, then it's just spoon time, baby. Get rid of that fork and get on the other end of a spoon. But do you save your favourite part of the meal for last? Yeah, obviously, or nah. I thought this would be kind of half-half,

but yeah, obviously, people love saving the last bit, 80%. This might be our most one-sided silly little poll. Okay, what about if you get a combo, a burger combo? Like, you get a fast food burger. Say you get a Macca's combo. I eat the chips as I go. Do you? Is that what you mean?

I go chips first because they're terrible when they're hot. No, I go burger first because you want the burger as hot as it can be. And you want an empty tummy for it too because then it's more delicious. No, I hold the burger in one hand and bite and then I'll be like, chippy, chippy, chippy, bite, chippy, chippy. I don't even really get chips. I'll just go double burger. Oh, yeah, that's smart.

And then what do you eat first, Your primary burger or your second tier? Second tier. So if you're at Macca's. I'll go a cheeseburger. Get the cheeseburger in. That's two bucks. You know, but it's delicious. Do not say Filet-O-Fish. No, Filet-O-Fish is... What? No, Filet-O-Fish

is a second tier burger. No, it's... Yeah. It can't be your primary burger. It is. It can't be your primary burger, is it? Filet-O-Fish is a second-tier burger. No, it's, yeah. It can't be your primary burger. It is. It can't be your primary burger. Filet-O-Fish is the freshest menu item at McDonald's. Because no one orders them. And so you always get the sweetest little steamy bun and the hottest little fried filet-O-Fish and the creamiest tartare.

It says a lot about you when you like a filet-O-Fish. I used to be a McChicken girl. When you go, Anne, can I have a Filet-O-Fish? And they're like, oh, God, can you please park in that park up there where you have to wait for 10 minutes? Yeah, man, I'm happy to wait. I'm happy to wait. It's always piping hot and soft and steamy and sweet and fishy.

What are you talking about again? Filet-O-Fish. Filet-O-Fish. Yeah. It can't be your primary burger. I'm fine with it being a backup burger. I've learned to live with the fact that sometimes my wife will get a quarter pounder and a Filet-O-Fish. And she'll eat the Filet-O-Fish as a secondary burger and the quarter pounder will be the star of the show.

See, mine's a cheeseburger as the secondary burger and then always finish with a quarter pounder. But that's, yeah. But a quarter pounder and a cheeseburger, they're two alike. This is a different conversation. It's a different argument for another day. Trying to think of an actor who's never the lead in a movie but always in movies.

What was that? Bill Pepper? Is that his name? The guy that's been in like a hundred movies but never starred in his own movie. He is the Filio Fish of Hollywood. Yeah, right.

That's what the Filio Fish's job is. But there'll be someone like Hayley out there that loves this actor. I see, I could probably see him and recognise him but I don't recognise the name. No, I know. So it's a great example, really. And recognise him But I don't recognise the name No I know So it's a great example

Really Oh no I didn't get his name right That's how unimportant he is Okay so Some other people's thoughts Hayley Not this Hayley

Another Hayley Hay-lie Depends on how If it tastes better Altogether Then sometimes Someone doesn't make A fully nice meal

So you've got to suffer Through the average stuff And of course The best stuff Is always your reward. Yeah. Look at us, having so much food that we can be like, I'll suffer through this food.

I'll suffer through the cooked carrots. Megan says you get the shit stuff over with, reward for getting to the end, and less likely to eat the house down after. Yeah, right. But that's the risk you run, though, isn't it? That you fill up on the shit stuff. Yeah.

And then when you get to your primary subject, you're too full. Yeah, Lucy said she eats primarily based on temperature rankings. Oh, yeah. Some things you've got to eat hot. That's an interesting take. I've never thought about that. That's why you eat the burger first. Yeah, this is true.

But then the cold chips. So bad. So you. Before you eat the burger first. Yeah, this is true, but then the cold chips. So bad. So you prioritize what you want to eat slowly. Alright. So from the first bite to the last, you're talking a window of about five minutes. Yeah, max. Someone said, if as an adult I still eat off one of those plates that either prisoners or

little kids eat off where everything's segmented. Just so I can eat in my order of favourite things and not mix anything. So they'll do like a whole thing of peas or a whole thing of potatoes and then the whole thing of meat at once. I love that. I reckon we all have the exact same meal in mind when you're thinking about potatoes, peas.

There might be some cooked carrots there. Yes. And maybe like a corn silverside or something like that. I was thinking an 80s slow some cooked carrots there. Yes. And maybe like a corn silverside or something like that. I was thinking an 80s slow cooked cut. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, I assume is going poos or something. Was it a poos? Hey, look at me. I know how to turn on a microphone, guys. I'm not going to... You stay over there.

I'll turn yours on. You be on that one. You be on that one. What a drama. What just happened? There was no toilet paper in the holder. Oh, you should have missed it. Oh, no.

We could have run you some. What did you do? Did you splash? I had to go to the next cubicle. Oh, dear. Oh, that's embarrassing. A little two-metre mud run. Do you know how to get out of this?

Yeah, I'm going to press this play button. Is that right? We are overfilled by 19 and a half minutes. Someone needs to run. This ship is being loosely piloted. No, I can do it. Fade and go. Fade and go.

I knew it was one of the two. What would play have done? Played four. I would have played it again. All right, fade and go. Oh. Boom. Well done.

These things drive themselves. Intro the song. Intro the song. Hit the post. I'm going to hit the post. All right, 27 minutes away from seven. Coming up on the show, the top 6 reasons we are having less sex.

This is Miley Cyrus, Midnight Sky on ZM. Oh! Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top 6. Hello, the UK's National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles or NATSL.

Yeah, as it's known. Natsl. Natsl. I have seen people are having less sex every week. Is this in the UK, obviously? Yeah. Okay. Not in my household.

It's not where the survey was done. Well, in 1991, it was an average of five times a month. I think it was like five times a week. I was like, whoo! I know, who's got the time? In 2001, it dropped to five times a month. I think it was like five times a week. I was like, whoo! I know, who's got the time? In 2001, it dropped to four times a month. And in 2012, it was as low as three. And it continues to drop.

But is it because people have spent the last few years at home together? They're like, I've had enough of that. I've had enough of that. Yeah. Of everything. Ah, well, they looked into it. They said they're definitely having less. And if you look around the world, it's absolutely comparable.

So that means, for a fact, your parents had more sex than you're currently having. And you know who had more than them? Your grandparents. Yeah, they were at it. We know those Ryman's are basically a festival now, aren't they? Oh, yeah. God, yes. Get bloody Sachi playing at the weekend and you'll have an absolute super spreader of men and a Ryman, wouldn't you? You would, yes. Get bloody Sachi playing at the weekend and you'll have an absolute super spreader event in a Ryman, wouldn't you?

You would, yeah. Oh, my goodness. So I've got the top six reasons why maybe lately specifically we're having less sex than ever. Number six, video games. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're nodding over there. Partners playing too many video games.

Or from the other side of the thing, video games are better than the sex you're offering. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're nodding over there. Partners playing too many video games. Or from the other side of the thing, video games are better than the sex you're offering. Oh, wow. Not the angle I was thinking of, but... Yeah. Ever had a late Friday night victory royale with the boys? It's up there with the big O, isn't it? Sometimes you have a big O at the same time. Just out of pure joy of a squad victory.

Number five on the list of the top six reasons for having less sex than ever are dietary cleansers. It's hard to make love to somebody when they could squirt poo everywhere. Any minute. Squirt poo everywhere. Imagine being in the middle of making love and you hear the old gurgly, gurgly guts.

Squits be coming. Yeah, okay. You might want to wrap this up. Number four on the list of the top six reasons we're having less sex than ever are Love Island. It's setting unrealistic body expectations for men. Only men? Those men.

Only men, just men. Those men. My body looks very similar to the women's. I know. I think that's fair. I know. Every woman can see themselves

on Love Island but most men are like, no way. Is that what you want in a guy? Is that what's important to you? Is that why you're watching this show? Oh,

I need to compare my body to them that are 20 years younger than me. Number three on the list of the top six reasons we're having less sex and ever global warming. I can't stop picturing a panda bear drowning. Not a panda bear drowning. What's he doing in the water?

A polar bear. I can't stop picturing. I start, I get to making love and then all of a sudden my mind is just filled with drowning polar bears, angry Greta Thunberg, smoke billowing out of chimneys. I thought you were going to say

it's because it's so humid and hot now that it's too hot. Yeah, don't touch me. Oh yeah, that too. Yeah, that too. That too. Number two on the list of the top six reasons we're having less sex than ever,

bloody Zoom meetings. Oh yeah. Yeah. Do you want to make love to your partner at 3am on a Saturday night? You've got a Zoom meeting. Am I right? You never have a Zoom meeting.

I am coming to the Zoom meeting. It's 11.30 p.m. on a Thursday. Yeah, well, we've scheduled the Zoom meeting. Where am I supposed to find the time to make sweet love to my partner? I've always got a Zoom meeting. Working from home. That sounds like such an excuse. Oh, I can't, Sade.

You've got that Zoom. I've got a Zoom. Sorry, love. I'm all Zoomed out. Am I working from home or am I homing from work? Wow. And number one on the list

of the top six reasons we're having less sex than ever. It's actually just quite yuck when you think about it. It's just like yuck. Like it's gross. It's not right. No.

It's not right. It goes where? Yeah. Unless you're trying to make a baby. I agree. What's happening? I agree. Filthy.

The sweat. Where is it? Everybody's. What happens at the end? Yeah. What? No thanks. That is today's Top 6. What did you see?

What did you see there with your eyes? What did you see with your eyes? I know Hayley's on my side with this one. Oh. Wonky signs. Oh, no, don't get Sproul started. No, this is my segment. Back off.

No, I might take it, actually. What about spelling mistakes on signs? Or when signs incorrectly use apostrophes? Grammar is, yeah, that's the worst. Yeah. I think every sign writer should be legally required to have some sort of language expert working for them. So I mentioned this to Vaughan. I went to the gym and the gym over the road from work.

The outside, there's a sign. And I think what's happened is they've maybe glued it on or stuck it on somehow and it's just kind of slipped on one side and I would say 8 to 9 degrees. That's too many degrees. 7 to 8 to 9 degrees off. So it's not just a little off

and I'm just looking at it and I'm like What kind of sign is it? Like a permanent sign? I think it's like a don't park here or I don't know. It's some kind of sign is it? Like a permanent sign? I think it's like a don't park here or I don't know. It's some kind of sign like that. And I'm like, should I say something? I think you need to say something. It's not a cheap gym.

It's an expensive gym. You pay your membership, you expect a straight sign. Is it too much to ask? Yeah, I agree. That irks me. If your job is putting up a sign, have a level. Core flute? Like that plastic real estate stuff?

Paper? Laminated paper? No, like tin. No, I think it might even be a plastic stuck to the wall. So it's been printed on plastic. It's been printed. I've had this purposely printed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But like, if you owned a business or you worked at a business and then a customer was like, oh, your sign's wonky, would you just be like, piss off? I'd make a thousand apologies and get it fixed as soon as possible. I cannot stand wonkiness. We have lots and lots of art on the walls. Oh. And we used to live on a bus route.

And when the bus would rumble past, I'd then go around the house and be like. Oh no. What kind of house were you living in? Was this in Wellington? Were you the piggy that built his house out of straw? No. It was just the slightest of rumbles would just make them. Yeah, slowly.

Just ever so. Did you think about blue tacking behind? I know, but blue tack stains. The oil. Yeah. What about blue tacking behind? I know, but blue tack stains, the oil. Yeah, what about some 3M hooks? Have some respect. I'm a homeowner. Those are for renters.

The 3M Galaway Valpro hooks are definitely a renter's game. Right, so you'd rather nail. You'd just nail straight into the wall. Tis my privilege to nail a hole into the wall. Right. But yeah, crooked signs. It's a no-no. I would say something but also how do you word it and not sound like a dick? Yeah, exactly.

Hello. Neat little sign out there. Already sounding very condescending. Neat little sign. It's on the piss. It's all skew-iff. It's not straight. I just think, fix it. Have you tried fixing it yourself? Like giving it a tug and sort of going and adjusting?

No, I didn't want to touch it. It's quite up high. I'm going to the gym after work. I'm going to look for it and I might have to go. Is it over here? Yeah. I also have recently complained about some wonky picnic tables too. Have you seen these picnic tables?

No, which picnic tables? We're in a group chat with Auckland's next mayor, Richard Hills. Okay. So I said, I told him, apparently Phil Goff's stepping down as the mayor of Auckland and he's going to put his weight behind Richard, who we've known for a long time. And I said, this is great.

I can't wait until I've got the prime minister and the mayor of Auckland on speed dial. Like, I'm kingpin at this stage. But it's been a joke forever. If we ever see like a tile on the footpath that's like maybe a little bit raised or an issue, we'll just send a photo and say, can we get this fixed? As a joke.

As a joke. We're rate payers. As a joke. Yeah. And anyway, they just installed these picnic tables near my house on a hill. And the idea is that you spend time, residents leave their apartments and go and spend time outside.

In the middle of the road on these picnic tables. But they installed them on a hill. And so they're leaning downhill. So if you're sitting downhill and say you had a drink, it would kind of roll off. Oh, no, that's no good. Yeah, it's terrible. What's the word? You know, build up the other end of it. Yeah, one side needed to be lower. Need to be propped off. Oh, no, that's no good. Yeah, it's terrible. What's the word? You know, build up the other.

Yeah, one side needed to be lower. Need to be propped up. Yeah, yeah. So the wonkiness is. Here, here. I found a picture. I think we should just put this up. This is terrible.

I actually put my iPhone level on it and it was eight degrees. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't work. Like who installed that and said a wonky table is a good idea? What if you were trying to eat, you know, round grapes? Round things. Cherry tomatoes.

Yeah. What's that Italian round stuff? Would that roll off your plate? What? Pizzas. Meatballs. No, those potato-y balls that I don't like. Gnocchi.

Yeah, that. Gnocchi would absolutely roll down the mountain. Rolly-polly. I think even a dumpling might make a go for it. A roll, yeah. What's that song? On top of spaghetti. All covered in cheese.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. But it's time to give away some fuel. Danielle, good morning. Good morning. Now, how risk-averse are you? I've got nothing to lose at this point. Any cent would help. Oh, I like this.

I never win anything. So if I can win something, it would be amazing. Okay, so do you, when you're listening to people play ZMD Tank, are you like yelling at your radio like stop? Or do you think they go too low? Or will you keep going? I heard the other one the other day where I heard 90 bucks and I was like, oh, I want to hold on a bit longer.

But then when you look at the gas prices, God, $90 is $90, right? $90 is $90. These days, $90 might get you a... A sniff. What, a quarter of a tank and a bit of a huff? Oh, if you're lucky. Just when you're putting the pump back up.

Oh, yeah, one for you, one for me. Danielle, you can say stop at any stage and lock in the dollar amount, but if it buzzes out before, you lose. Let's go. $5. $5. $25. $35.

$50. $35. $50. $75. $105. $125. $105. $140. $165. $185. $25.

$185. $210. Danielle! Danielle! What is wrong with you? Are you there? I was just about to say it and I froze. It got to like $100 or whatever and you were just like... I'm waiting till I hear a five at the start.

$8 million. I was going for three. I was going for three. You were going for three. How much petrol do you want the whole station? It has, but it has gone to... I drive to Martin to Pani every day. It's a long drive and it's a lot of gas.

Oh, babe. Imagine $200. That would have been... I know. I was about to say stop and the log truck blew my gas. Oh, babe. Imagine $200. That would have been... I know. I was about to say stop, and the log truck blew my car, and I got distracted. Bloody log trucks.

Well, Danielle, unfortunately, missing out on the fuel. Don't try to pass this off as an issue of the primary industry. I wanted it so badly for her. I know. Another chance for you

to get the free fuel and play ZMT Tank is coming up at 8 o'clock. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, here's a very elegant and eloquent name, an eloquent term. Weaponising incompetence is a term that's been popping around online

at the moment after a woman shared her grocery list for her husband on TikTok. And it is the most sort of dumbed down simplified grocery list you've ever seen. Even with some drawings

of like, this is the brand we get darling. You know, so that he can absolutely figure it out himself. And it started a bigger conversation that they've named weaponizing incompetence, which is the act of feigning incompetence at any one task, usually an unpleasant one, to get out of doing it. It's the classic don't get good at something you don't want to do. Yeah, exactly.

So when someone deploys the strategic incompetence, it's sort of in the hope that someone else will just sort of go, you know, it's easier if I just do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh. How did the vacuum cleaner work? Exactly. Where do I push it?

On my face? But they're saying in this article here that it's not only happening, this article was angled towards how women are getting screwed over by weaponising incompetence, both at home, in motherhood and in the workplace. Right, so they would be like baby needs changing and

mothering and the partner would be like which which way did they go on? Look, I'll do it. I'll just do it. It's going to be quicker. It's going to be, I'm going to have to stand here for twice as long

telling you how to do it. Just let me do it. Which is a real female energy. Just, oh, I'll do it. They know how to do it. Yeah. This is the same with any form of cleaning

and my mother's a shocker. Like no one's, well, she was. I don't live with her anymore, but she's still alive. That made it sound like she's dead? She's not dead. No, I just saw her.

I saw her a few weeks ago. Rest easy. Rest easy. Christine's alive and well. Yeah, good. That made it sound like she's dead? She's not dead. No, I just saw her a few weeks ago. Rest easy, Christine's alive and well. But she'd be like, oh, no one around here does any bloody cleaning when we're kids. And so she'd be like, tell us what to do and then end up just like doing it again anyway. Yes. Yeah. It was interesting. I read this article

last night and I shared it with Aaron. I was like, this is a great term, weaponising incompetence. And I told him what it was and how this article was about women. He was like, yeah, I do that. You do it quite a bit. And that's why you haven't spoken to him since. Yeah, and then we had a fight and I left the house and I sat at my parents' house.

No, but he's right. I do do it. And not in like major ways. I think this article was sort of looking at the bigger ways in which we do it in life, which is quite problematic. But in small ways, I think we all do it. You know, like, the groceries are heavy. If he's not there, I'm entirely competent to do most things myself.

But if he is there, I'm like, which one's the Phillips head? Is it the flat one or the cross cross? Flying a bit of damsel in distress there. It is. And it gives him a chance to be a big hero man man.

I guess so. And I guess it's sort of like a little... That's kind of hot. That's a little hot. Yeah. But then also... I need my big muscly man

to wield a wheelie. I can take the little one, but you've got to take the recycling. My little weighty arms can't carry it. But then you get out of the chores. You've weaponised your incompetence. Exactly. I think everyone does this.

Would you be guilty of this, Vaughan? Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't even open my eyes before I ask if Sade's seen something. Have you seen just hoping she'll be like, oh, yeah, I'll get it. Whereabouts is the, that's my one. Whereabouts is the, like, if I'm cooking something and she's like there,

she might not be doing anything, but I'm like, where do we keep the soy sauce? No, in full well, there's one place where the soy sauce could be, but I don't want to get it. I want you to get it. But she does it as well. Right. She would be like, oh, should we get some steak out for dinner? I'll be like, yeah.

And she's like, I don't know where else in the freezer it is because the freezer's in the garage. And there's other meat in there. So I have to walk out there, move a couple of things. Yeah, get the steak. And also, I guess it's kind of like, she'll be like, I always pick the wrong ones. Yeah.

What kind of steak should we get steak? I'm like, yeah, yeah. You get it. I always pick the wrong ones. Yes. But to be fair, she does pick the wrong ones. She's weaponising her incompetence. She's a meat idiot.

But she's got out of walking all the way to the garage. Yeah, totally. Mine's the garage as well. Anything in the garage, I'm like, but you organise it. I don't know what any of that is. I'm just going to make up a mess and stuff up your stuff. Yeah, what do I need? If I wanted to do that, what do I need? I'd be like,

you'll need pliers. Where would a pliers? This is a great description. It's a passive-aggressive way of putting labour back on the person that you don't respect enough to step up for. That is a great description. I think that's around maybe your bigger things like parenting,

you know, like men sort of – I'm not saying all fathers are like this at all. In fact, I don't know any fathers like this. It drives me nuts when I see guys doing this. But going like, you know, she does the nappies and the feeding. And at night time, you know, I sleep and she does the – like, no, no, no. If I'm up, you're up. But I think we're talking about in smaller ways. The more playful ways in which you

strategically are not good at things. Yeah, I think we need to take some calls on this. Because if you're listening to this now thinking, oh, I do this, or my partner does this. Yeah. We want to hear your examples. Of how you weaponise your incompetence. But I also think it's fair if you're going to tell us

how your partner does it, you've also got to admit how you do it. Absolutely. Oh, no one's going to do that, are they? We're talking about the hot term weaponised incompetence, which is when you feign incompetence to your partner in order to get out of doing a task you don't want to do. You just told us another example last

night, the reason you're wearing a plaster. Oh, yeah. I was making, I was heating up some refried beans and I cut my finger on the tin. And then suddenly I just became a baby and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't find, I couldn't put a plaster on myself. I made Aaron go and get the first aid kit,

do the plaster, and then I made him finish dinner. I just saw an opportunity to get out of making dinner. And so you weaponised in confidence. I weaponised my little finger cut. And it worked. We're beautiful steak tacos. Whereas if he wasn't at home, you would have been like, oh, get a plaster.

You would have been like, oh, that's annoying. Rap, rap, rap. Back to it. Chop, chop, chop. Yeah. Yeah, back to it. All right, so message is in. So message is in.

Anything to do with basic technology. And I'm talking basic enough like changing the time on the oven, in the car, or even adjusting the spa pool temperature. Isn't that just an up and down arrow, a spa pool temperature? I don't know which one's up and which one's down. Well, you know I never did a temperature. Why? You always tell me it's too hot, too cold.

What a problem to have, though. Oh, I know. A real 1% of spa pool problem. Yeah. Some other messages in. Somebody said, this happens every time there is one or two big baskets of laundry to fold. Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

He purposely does it wrong, and he knows he's doing it wrong. And I say, look, don't worry about it. And he's like, well, if I can't do it right, maybe I shouldn't do it. It's just easier if you do it. It's just easier. You like it done a certain way. Purposefully folding the t-shirts in the middle so when you wear them, you've got a big crease down the front.

No, no, no. You've got to tuck behind. Oh, I just hang my t-shirts. I just roll mine in a ball and throw them in the right slot. So she just takes care of it. This one actually rings very true. I didn't even realize this was happening at my own home.

Okay. Anything that requires a ladder. Yeah. If it's getting up on a stool to change a battery in a smoke alarm or getting up to like dust something down it's always like i turned it up high what if i should fall what if i should fall you know i don't bounce like you do mr bounce there was a person who shared on tiktok their version of weaponizing incompetence uh that carwin shared before which which was trying to lift a table, like move furniture,

and being like, help me, I can't do it. And then when your partner's not there, strapping the whole table onto your back and just deadlifting it up a hill. Sheila, what's the example of weaponised incompetence? I'm not sure if it was weaponised or whether it was just actual incompetence. When our kids were little, especially my daughter, she wouldn't sleep at night.

And, I mean, he was good. He'd get up at weekends and do the early feeds for me. But he'd then go around telling everybody, oh, she slept all night last night. And I'd think, where were you? Because I was up eight times. So whether he was, you know, pretending to sleep or who knows. But also this is going to sound like I'm just giving him another excuse,

but isn't it also like mothers are wired to wake at the sound of a baby. But husbands or fathers don't have that same wiring. And sometimes even your milk can come out when you hear the sound of a baby crying. It doesn't even have to be your baby. Yeah. To be fair, I only breastfed for 22 hours, so I don't think that was the excuse. Yeah, good on you, girl. You gave it a shot, though.

Good on you. Food is best. Thanks, you're cool, Sheila. My husband cooks great when I'm not at home. Regularly sends me photos of his culinary masterpieces. But the minute I walk in, it's, how much do I need of this? And does this look okay? This is just a great opportunity to air out our relationship grievances.

This is Aaron. He's always like, how long do you cook it? And I'm like, Google, bro. Yeah, Google it. You're more than capable. Oh, but you do it so yummy. Eggs is another one. And this is me too.

This is like, should we have squumbled eggs? I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. You do them better than I do, doll. You know when to add the cheese at just the right time. I don't know how to use your cast iron palm. That happens. And so you end up doing it. I used to get this with my ex with any computer stuff.

It was just as simple as like downloading an update. What does this mean? Maybe I'm just not smart enough. Relationships are hard work. I'm no good at craft, so my fiance's been working nonstop to get all the little bits done for our wedding. Yeah.

And I'm always like, do you want me to help with something? Full well, no, I won't be allowed. No. I'm like, I'm not good at quaffs. I don't know how to use the glue. Oh my God, it's happening everywhere to everybody. 7.25, next on the show.

Guys, yesterday I had a bit of a health scare. I saw this in the spreadsheet. Fletch's health scare. At your age, that is something we should seriously take. We should should be taking very seriously. Well, yesterday, guys, a bit of a health scare. This doesn't sound good. Went swimming.

Did some lanes. Oh, yeah. Being healthy. Fitzbo, you're not drinking. I'm not drinking. You've done a whole week of not drinking. A whole week of not drinking. Gymming every day. I'm not drinking. You've done a whole week of not drinking. Whole week of not drinking. Gymming every day. I'm a hero.

Vaughn? I know. We were talking about this before you got to work this morning, Vaughn. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, but tonight's blowout, eh? I'm going out on Sunday night and tonight, oh, I'm going out for some drinks. And tomorrow, I'll probably get a little bit drunk on the deck. Sit in the bean bag. Hey, but four days is good.

That's great. That's good for you. We're going to the cycle class. Absolutely. We're going to the cycle classes. Well, yesterday after I got home from swimming, I was like, oh my God, it's finally happened. Radio's made me deaf in one ear. So you know when your ear's not unblocked?

Like when you're landing in the plane and it's like... Sorry, I'm just going to pause you. On this spreadsheet, it says Fletcher's health scare. Yeah, this is my health scare. So pause for me. When you read the word health scare, I go to the prostate?

I always go straight to the prostate. Cancer, something like that. You're telling it you had a bit of swimmer's ear. This is the fear that you've put in us since 5 o'clock this morning. I couldn't get rid of it. One ear I couldn't hear in, and it was deaf. And I was like doing that thing where you blow your nose, and it wouldn't work.

Like an hour I was walking around, I was like, oh, that's it. Radio's finally made me deaf. This is my life now. I mean, did you just have a little lie down with the air with the water in it down? Hair dryer? Tell me more about the hair dryer. Blow a hair dryer in the air. If you've been for it to the beach

and you get the old... Oh, right. And you can't get it out. The blow your nose thing. And I was like walking around and I was like, this is me now. And then I was like, I did the thing in my right ear,

which wasn't the blocked ear where you... Plunge it. You plunge it with your finger. Yeah. And then I went to the deaf ear. This is after an hour of my... I'm half deaf now.

And that's when I realised that my ear, my silicon ear pod was stuck in my ear. You had it come off the earphone. The silicon ear thing was stuck in my ear and that's why I couldn't hear anything. That could have been a dangerous situation if you were plunging it with your finger. You could have been ramming it deeper. As soon as I put my finger in, I was like, what's...

And then I pulled it out. I was like, I can hear now. Yay! Did you weep when you watched those videos of babies hearing for the first time when they get a cochlear implant? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I they hear their mum's voice. I've got goosebumps thinking about that. And they go, yeah. Mumma!

Oh, beautiful. I'll just, again, if we can, go back to where you wrote down Fletcher's health scare. That is a health scare because hearing is health. Oh, hearing is health. I don't doubt it. A mole or a lump or something like that? That happened to my mother-in-law one day.

Remember when Sade's mum was all of a sudden like, oh, I don't feel right. She had a bit of a dizzy spell and then one of her ears just stopped hearing. She still hasn't got her back. Oh, really? Yeah. Huh.

And that's quite a serious thing that your balance goes. I was worried about, yeah. You can't tell where noise is coming from. Was I? I got vertigo last year. Yes. Yeah, I got really bad vertigo. I would say that's a

That's a health scare That's a health scare And Sharday's mum's thing Was a health scare I'd say this was a This is a health scare This is right up there With the time I got

Deep vein thrombosis After that flight I don't think it is It's right up there Deep vein thrombosis Was significantly worse Than just getting a little Silicon thing pop off

In your ear That is a health scare No no Deep vein thrombosis Which you were so Nonchalant about. Didn't you ride your bike to the hospital? I walked. Oh, you walked.

His face was upside down. One half, yeah. It was honestly like a temporary stroke or a bit of Bell's palsy or something. That's a health scare. That's a health scare. I was more worried with this hearing thing. How embarrassing had you have gone to the A&E and be like,

I've lost my hearing, I'm going deaf. And they're like, there you go, sir. See you later. And ACC won't be covering that because you're a moron. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's something we've always heard, playing hard to get, when you're out on the dating scene, I guess. Circuit.

It's been a while for me. Yeah. But how successful is it really? I was never a hard to get. You were low hanging fruit. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Were you low hanging fruit? That didn't quite come out right, did it?

I was never hard to get. I was never hard to get. I don't want to use the word easy. No, but when I first met my fiancé, I came right out and said it. Well, you went into playing games. I hate playing games.

Manipulation, because that's kind of what it is, playing hard to get, right? It's playing games. Exactly. Well, a recent study has looked into why playing hard to get is so successful. And the outcome is that it is successful. And it's just the basic thing of playing hard to get

makes us seem like we're more in demand. Is it because we want what we can't have? Yeah, basically. Have you been watching the David Attenborough series that's on telly at the moment, The Mating Game? Oh, it's so good. It's true throughout the entire animal kingdom. Yeah, and the women are like, hmm, no.

Yeah, this bird's like, look at this thing I've built! And now I'm going to do a dance. A big dance. And I've got these as well. And its wings go out and this female bird's like, mm-hmm.

Nah, I mean, it's okay. Yeah, but she wants a baby. She wants a baby in her. You know, she's playing hard to get. She is indeed. She needs this dude to show her all the tricks before she agrees to copulate.

Yeah, people who play it too easy, that are too easy to attract, may be perceived as more desperate. No one wants to hear the word desperate. No. Do they? No. No. The thrill of the chase.

Yep. The thrill of the chase. Exactly. They're saying it's still a great tactic to use on people, especially with messaging online. You know, like you don't want to come in too hard and be old, desperate dolly. Yeah.

You want to be old, hard to get Hayley instead. Although that's obviously not you. Yeah, but they do say, there's the warning, be careful just how hard. Yeah. Because eventually. They'll give up. The male bird's going to go away and find another female bird to impregnate.

Not that that's what the dating scene's all about. I like how every animal's primary focus is, you know, to repopulate, to reproduce. But humans, we're having fun with it. Yeah, we're doing it for us and dolphins. Yeah. Dolphins are a bit of that too. And the bonobo monkeys. A relationship psychologist said the best approach is to be semi-hard to get.

Ah, semi-hard. Just semi. Yeah, just semi-hard. Just be semi-hard and then that's the way to go about it. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's time for Hayley's version. Now, I actually have a part, Vaughn, in Hayley's version this week.

Yeah. This is where you take a popular tune and do your own version of it. My own version of it. A current events version. You weren't here, Vaughn, and also he pushes the buttons. Okay. Oh, this doesn't involve any rhythm because famously can't keep time at all. Oh, really?

Yeah, watch this. No one told you life was gonna be this way. All right. Too many. How did I just do it? Too many. It's four. Did I do it?

No, no, no. I did too many. You did too many. You did too many. I'm a five clap believer. You're gonna be this way. No, no, no, no. No, five.

Five. Five fits better. You have annoyed so many people over there. Five fits better. It's the Mandela effect. It definitely had five claps in it, like the Berenstain Bears. I'm rhythmically challenged, I think they say. Well, let's just say if you miss or mess up this part,

I'm going to get in a lot of trouble. So basically, all I need from you to do is to censor a word that we are not allowed to say on radio. So I have to censor you live during your song. Do you want to practice? What word will you use? Use a word that you would be allowed to say on the radio, just in case it gets through.

I'll use the word farts. Okay. But will you do the song? You'll give me like a sentence? I'm going to go like this. Okay. And I'll say farts. Okay.

We'll practice. Ready? Yep. Farts. No. You heard it. I thought you were going to go like this. Okay, and then point. We'll practice. Ready? Yep. Farts. No, you heard it. I thought you were going to do words. I thought you were going to do words before. No, no, no, she can't do that. It'll spoil the surprise. I can't. I'm just going to go

three, two, one. Farts. I still heard you say farts. Yeah. Is it because we're in the room? It just happens at the same time. Oh, well, let's just see what happens. Could you hear farts underneath as well as the beat? Okay. All right.

Good luck. You've been warned. I feel like I can work this as long as when I point to you. Oh, right. I play that. Okay. All right. Are we ready for Hayley's version?

Yeah. So I'll give you a little intro. This is Hayley's version of Ed Sheeran's Bad Habits. Yeah. My version is called Bad Headlines. And it was because I was trying to write a song about the week, what's been happening in the news.

Omicron, Omicron, Omicron. It's everywhere. That's all it is. So I tried to gather the other headlines and I wanted to find some good news. I wasn't successful. There was none, I was gonna say. I can't really think of... So this is Hayley's version, Bad Headlines. Bad Headlines.

When you hear the news this week, it always sounds the same. Get ready. Omicron has now arrived. This year's already lame. Are you ready? are all f***ed. Bad headlines like inflation soaring up high. Allegations that Hugh Hefner's a really bad guy. Even the humble tomato is priced way too high. All our live events are gone, thanks Omicron. Bad headlines like this summer is alarmingly hot.

The revelation that our masks weren't doing a lot. Even Kim Kardashian had a failed Photoshop. The Auckland beaches are all ooh with poo. Don't spew the bad headlines are all true. You did good on the beep. We didn't hear it. Yes. I'll try to find some more.

The bad headlines are all true. I promise more positive news and I haven't given any yet. The bad headlines are all true. Rent keeps on going up, but not our minimum wage. That one hurts. A national MP got told off for editing her Wikipedia page. And poor old Britney Spears, her sister's spreading lies. And let us not forget that meatloaf diet.

Bad headlines like Sir Elton catching the cron. That guy from Blur said that Taylor didn't write her own songs Tova O'Brien lost her court case, which I think is wrong And Brian Tamaki is free, whoopee Bad headlines like Neil Young ditching Spotify And Donald Trump says next election he will give it a try And personally, my country road order hasn't arrived I hope this song reminded you That we are screwed

These bad headlines are all true Yeah, no good headlines, guys. Yes! No good headlines. No good headlines. And a great sense of beep from me. And a great sense of beep. You've got rhythm, babe.

Thanks, because you thought I was going to f*** that up. I kind of messed that up. You did. You f***ed that one up. It's the rhythm. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. ZMD Tank.

Joining us is Michaela. Good morning, Michaela. Good morning. Now, were you listening to ZMD Tank at 7 o'clock? No, I wasn't. I've actually just finished a night shift. I wasn't. I have been throughout the week.

Right. What do you do for work overnight? I'm a vet nurse. Yeah. Yeah, so emergencies. So it's been a long night. Good for you. Did you say a vet nurse?

Yes, I'm a vet nurse. What were you dealing with last night? What's the animal du jour? A lot. A lot of vomiting. A lot of parvo. Like, yeah, everything. Oh, really?

Okay. So you get your dog vaccinated against parvo, don't you? Yes, definitely. A hundred percent. Yeah. We thank you for your service. Well, at seven o'clock this morning, Michaela, we had someone that held off to the high 200s.

Oh, no. The high 200s and missed it. And missed out. Oh, my God. Yes, I feel like that's not going to be my technique. Everyone that else has been playing, I'm kind of like, yeah, that's not safe. And I'm going to play it safe, I feel like, today.

You've got to follow your gut because so many times when people miss it, they go, oh, I was just about to say it. Yeah. Why don't you feel it? Say it. Well, Michaela, you say stop whenever you want to lock in that cash and fuel amount. Otherwise, if the pump buzzes and cuts off, you lose out. Let's go.

$10. Ooh. $45. $70. $45. $70. $95. $100. $130. $145.

$100. Oh, $145, Michaela. I was like, I don't know, it's going to stop. That was great. That was safe. That's a full tank of gas, right? Yeah, totally. Do we do the $145, which was cleared and done,

or because she said stop as the next amount was being announced? No. She said stop $100. No, she said stop, so it's 145. 145, okay. We have to, we've got rules in place, Siobhan. You can't just circumvent those. Not willy-nilly.

Michaela, let's see how high it would have gone. And $70. $195. $230. $255. You did it right. I'm happy. Honestly, $145.

That's a win, honestly. Yeah, that is a win. Well, you can go home, go to sleep now after a long night's work, and you can wake up $145 in the tank. Congratulations, Michaela. Welcome. How good? Thank you so much.

Well done. Coming up on the show, Am I a Bad Person? Somebody's contacted the show with a bit of a conundrum. We need your help to figure out. Also coming up on the show, Friday Rankings. Yeah. A new segment which we are introducing. And today, the battle is on which flavour snake is your favourite.

We're talking the lollies. Snake lollies. This was just a huge screaming match, wasn't it, yesterday? Hayley dropped a bombshell yesterday. Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell. Don't tell everybody. Her favourite. They'll tune out. I'm feeling red in the cheeks already. They'll change radio stations

if they know one of the host's favourite colour is that colour. I'd be disgusted. And you like filet-o-fish is your favourite. Yeah. Food shame me. I'm right. Well, it's an age-old tradition. Each week we take a turn picking a song that is at least 10 years

old. You went last week, Hayley, my turn this week. A song that I'm choosing was the second biggest song in 2012, beaten only by our very own Kimbra and Gautier, somebody I used to know. Oh, good song. Yeah, but it's not a banger, that song. No, no, no, you can't rock out.

You can't, no. It's not a Friday flashback song. So I've gone for number two on the list. It topped the charts in Australia, here in New Zealand. The Czech Republic, oh, how good's the Czech Republic? Denmark, Finland. I wouldn't personally know, but I'll take your word for it. Take my word for it.

It's great. Luxembourg. Poland. Ireland. Slovakia. Switzerland. The UK. Wow.

And was pretty much top five everywhere else around the country. Missed out on the Grammy Awards for Song of the Year and Best Solo Performance. Missed out, but was nominated. Big news. The second biggest song in 2012. Ten years out, but was nominated. Big news! The second biggest song in 2012. Ten years old this song. Oh, yes! It's Call Me Maybe

Carly Rae Jepsen. Sit down. I trade my soul for a wish, pennies and diamonds for a kiss. I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way. Your stare was holding, red machine skin was showing, hot night wind was blowing. Where you think you're going, baby? Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. So call me maybe, It's hard to look right At you baby But here's my number So call me maybe

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy But here's my number So call me maybe And all the other boys Try to chase me But here's my number, so call me maybe You took your time with the call, I took no time with the fall

You gave me nothing at all, but still you're in my way I beg and borrow and steal, at first sight and it's real I didn't know I would feel it But it's in my way Your stare was holding Red the chain Skin was showing Hot night

Wind was blowing Where you think you're going baby? Hey I just met you And this is crazy But here's my number So call me maybe It's hard to look right At you baby But here's my number, so call me maybe. Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe. And all the other boys try to chase me, but here's my number So call me maybe

Before you came into my life I missed you so bad, I missed you so bad I missed you so, so bad Before you came into my life I missed you so bad And you should know that I missed you so, so bad So bad, bad, bad It's hard to look right at you, baby

But here's my number, so call me maybe Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me maybe And all the other boys try to chase me This is crazy, but here's my number. So call me maybe. And all the other boys try to chase me. But here's my number. So call me maybe. Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.

I missed you so bad. I missed you so, so bad. Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad. And you should know that. So call me maybe. Carly Rae Jepsen, Call Me Maybe, your Friday flashback today. Hard not to feel happy. Ten years old, you have a very happy song. Yeah.

Johnna, Bubblegum Pop. That's what it is. Yeah, it's a happy song. Number one in New Zealand, that song as well. She came to New Zealand, didn't she? Well, fun fact, producer Carween, who's at the is. Yeah, it's a happy song. Number one in New Zealand, that song as well. She came to New Zealand, didn't she? Well, fun fact, producer Carween, who's at the social media desk, you went to the Carly Rae Jepsen concert. I sure did.

You said you didn't know any of the songs apart from that one. Yeah, she's put out a lot of albums since that song, actually, that I didn't know about. And fun fact, who were you standing beside at the Carly Rae Jepsen concert in Auckland? No biggie, just Lorde. Did you go together? Yeah, actually.

Yeah. Friends from way back, yeah. Do you think she's a Carly Rae Jepsen fan? I think she was bopping along. Okay. Yeah. Carly Rae Jepsen is, oh, sorry. Sorry, go ahead.

I wasn't going to say anything. I just said I think Lorde's just a pop music fan, isn't she? Yeah. Carly Rae Jepsen's 36 years old. Oh. What? Yeah. I was of the opinionsen's 36 years old. Oh. What? Yeah, I was of the opinion she would have still been in her 20s. I assume she released that song

when she was like 17, 18, but she was like 26. Hit me with the feedback, Vaughn. Did the listening public appreciate that? This was the number one song on my 16th birthday. Somebody else said, bloody great, Fletch.

Yeah, good. As usual, I've delivered. This Friday flashback just makes me feel old. This can't be 10 years old, says somebody. Looking at the songs of 2012, the biggest songs,

I cannot believe any of them are 10 years old. What is time? What is life? What is, yeah. It just occurred to me in two years time, we're going to be able

to play a song that was brand new when we first started doing Friday Flashback. Oh, no. Shut up. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Am I a bad person? Well, it's time for Am I a Bad Person?

Somebody's contacted the show in a predicament. Yes, we've received an anonymous email asking for our help. And we are more than happy to give it. The email says, hey guys. Okay, and me. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. Pretty solid. When we got together, we were both students.

Three years later, he's doing really well and earning nearly six figures. Hey, big daddy. But I'm only on 55K. Someone did a comms degree. That's her. And he probably did finance or business. Yeah, something like that.

The smarter degree. The smarter, yeah. She continues, up until now, we've been earning our separate amounts and putting in the same amount to a shared account to cover all of our living expenses, date nights, et cetera. But as his income keeps going up, I think we should change how we do things. I would like us to contribute an equal percentage into the account, say 40% or whatever. But

he is set on the amounts. His reasoning being that he likes having his independence and he's working 14 hour days, so should be able to treat himself. He's working 14 hour days, did you should be able to treat himself. Don't get me wrong. He's working 14-hour days, did you say? Yeah. That's insane. What is that? I mean, sometimes I struggle with four. Four?

I really struggle. I need to go home. I need a tech detox. I need a little meditation. Your part-time radio job gets too much, doesn't it? I will often nap longer than I work, just because I feel that's how I function best. It's like meat. You need to rest it for as long as you cook it.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm tired thinking about it. She ends the email, don't get me wrong, he is a great guy and will shout the odd dinner and surprise me with nice stuff. He just doesn't want to combine just yet. Am I a bad person for putting my foot down on this one?

So the money that they're putting into this shared account is just for bills. They're not saving for a house. Well, it's just shared expenses. Living expenses, rent, power, internet, date nights as well. So shared experiences. But I guess when it comes to them going out and having a social life on their own, they would pay for that out of their own bank accounts. And clothing and stuff.

As he said, he doesn't want to do it. He thinks he works so hard, he should be able to have some independence and treat himself freely without having to go, oh, babe, can I buy this? He's still going to have a lot of money left. So what do you feel about this? I feel quite strongly about this

because I've been in a similar situation before. Aaron and I have always earned very different incomes at different times and it never really made a lot of sense to be like we split this 50-50 because I guess the thing is like if I was when I first left drama school

and I was doing like a couple of theatre shows a year and not earning much else it was sort of it would be a real struggle for me to pay half of our rent and then like he doesn't want for me to struggle and then be stressed and be worried and concerned and not able to afford other things.

So when we got serious, which was only about, like, a year in we moved in together, we did a more, like, he paid for more because he had a salary and I was earning less. Right. And then we, but we're fully joined now. Right. And you just make it work. One pull. And then we, but we're fully joined now. Right. And you just make it work.

One pull. And then the things like treating yourself, that's just like a little bit of like wiggling around for a bit to work out how you do that.

But it doesn't mean you can't treat yourself. You just go, it's more of an open conversation about how much things cost. But she wants him to pay more. Yeah.

I think, I think that's right. It's like taxes. You earn more, to pay more. Yeah. I think that's right. It's like taxes. You earn more, you pay more. Some countries do that speeding ticket thing where if you get a speeding ticket... It's based on your income. Yeah. And a lot of theatre is doing this now

so you pay based on your... pay what you can, basically. So if you're a low income, you pay X amount for a ticket, say $10. If you're higher earning, you might pay 25 and there's a sort of moving scale, which I agree with.

Right. Sliding scale. Do you think that he should pay more, Vaughan? Um. Or does he want his treaties as well? As a man who loves treaties. And also works an insanely long day. Oh, you do?

You're 40 nowadays. No, I, money, I hate money. We don't argue about money, but I would say like between myself and Sade, it would be the one thing that we often have these like frustrating conversations about money. And I hate it. It's such a dumb thing to argue about. Yeah, all of ours just goes in the middle. But I mean, that's not how everybody does it.

And also it's like circumstantial. Like it works for me and Aaron because we've both been freelancers. So your work is never like salary-based consistent. So we create one pool and then both dip from there. But now you're sugar mama. Now I'm a sugar mama. Daddy's at home stocking up the barbecue.

Alright, well, what do you think? Maybe you've been in this situation if you're listening. Oh, 800 dials at M. Are they a bad person? Yeah, for putting their foot down and insisting that they change the way that they pay for things. There is a wild text.

Like, Fox News level wild text. Oh, wow. I know. Am I a bad person? We've had an email from an anonymous person who was asking us, are they a bad person for wanting their partner to contribute more to what they put into the pool? Because they earn like nearly double them. They earn nearly double what they earn.

But at the same time, there's two people in the room. You halve the rent. You halve the expenses. Yeah, it's not. Oh, I think we're working out it's not black and white, is it? It's very subjective. If you can see yourself. We're really interested to see what their plan is,

should one day they live by themselves? Yeah. And also, do you think if this is your forever person, you'd care less, right? Yeah, so to put it in context, they've been together for three years, which is a solid amount of time. But it's not...

Yeah, you're not... Are you de facto yet? Yeah, two years, right? Yeah. Oh, mate, it's 50-50. So are they a bad person for wanting the partner that earns more to pay some more for the rent and the bills? Should I start with that text I mentioned before

about real New Silk ZB vibes to this one? Someone said, look, it sounds like she just needs to get a part-time job. If he's working 14 hours a day and she's only working eight, just needs to get a part-time job. If he's working 14 hours a day and she's only working eight, she could pick up a part-time job working six and they'd probably earn about the same. Sounds like she's been lazy. Oh, my God. Who wants to work a 14-hour day?

There's no joy in that. An eight-hour workday is a respectable workday. It's too long. It's not a competition. She already has a full-time job. Exactly. Then you just have two miserable, tired people in a house together. And then you're never going to spend any time together.

Any time you spend together is either sleeping or just being tired. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I reject that text. Somebody else said percentage is the only way to go. She should put her foot down. There's actually been a lot of studies into this, and it's the best outcome for relationships. Isn't it equity, not equality?

So equality is like we both get the exact same amount or we pay the same amount. Equity is, it's based on what you have to start with, basically. Yeah. Okay, well, what do we think? Let's take some calls. Emily, is she a bad person for wanting her boyfriend to pay more rent?

Hi. No, I don't think she's a bad person at all. I've kind of been through a similar situation. Oh, tell us. So when me and my ex lived together, he was earning a bit more than me. And after all of the bills, I had like $36 left over for a fortnight and he sold like $400 a week and he used to get mad at me

when I couldn't go out and do things with him. Oh no, you can't. But he wouldn't shout you. He wanted to go do things knowing you couldn't afford it but then get upset. Of course he could. Yeah, but if he shouted me,

then he'd get mad that he'd have to pay for me. Oh no, thank God you said ex-boyfriend. Yeah, I'm glad you said ex because if you were still with him we'd all be encouraging you not to. Is that the reason he's your ex now? One of them. One of them, yeah. Alright, thanks for your call. Hannah, what do you think? Is she a bad

person for wanting her boyfriend to pay more because he earns more? Yeah, I think she's a bad person. I think you should be able to live within your own means. Oh, okay. What happens if they're not together anymore and she's got used to living this lifestyle that she can't afford to live on her own?

Well, women are very resilient, though. We'll come out of it and we'll find our way. Adjust. Yeah, you make your adjustments to the current situation. Yeah, because I earn more than my partner, but we go 50-50 in absolutely everything. And if I wanted him to come to something that he can't afford to, then I'd just pay for him to come. Right.

In saying that, you are paying slightly more, which is what she is wanting her partner to do. But you're meaning when it comes to the big things, like your non-negotiables, your rent, your power, your internet, you're 50-50. I think that should be 50-50, because those are realistic life costs.

Okay, alright. Hannah, thanks. You're cool. Danielle, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Definitely not. So I definitely agree with equity, not equality. I've always been the breadwinner and my male counterparts have always been less than me. And I just don't think it's fair, especially if you've been together for a long time after two years and you're de facto anyway. So I would usually cover three quarters of the bill so that he had a little bit left over. And then it got to the point where whatever I had left over for my own spending money, he wanted the same.

He wanted equality when it came to that. So I would use my money to make sure that we both had the same for frivolous spending. Little fun money. So it always felt equal. But I was doing 14-hour days, and we made it equal because of the time and energy you put into things. So he would do more cooking and cleaning.

Yeah, right. So I would do more cooking and cleaning. Yeah, right. Yeah, he would hire at home. But I definitely think it's about equity and just being as fair as possible. It's unfair to have one of you feeling like you don't have enough money to spend whereas the other one has more. Yeah, I love that. It's weird to be in an emotional relationship with somebody but be prioritising your personal financial situation, right?

Yeah, yeah. And granted, when relationships fail, yes, that other person can be worked off of that time. I think we could either definitely try and make it as simple as can be. That's why we have prenups. Can I just say, I love how you started the call referring to your ex-partners as my male counterparts. Yeah, I love that term.

They've always been male and they've always had less than me. But as Danielle said, it's not always about what you put in financially. So if you can't provide add as much to your relationship financially, you can add in other ways. Danielle, thanks. You call some messages in to finish. If they separated in the property,

the relationship property law, it's 50-50. Prenups, I just said. Yeah, but that's post. That's during a split. You're talking about when you're in the midst of a relationship. Yeah, not at the end of it. Oh, I'm not a bad person. I'm in the situation, I'm the higher earner. I'm happy to pay more.

I also manage our money and do a percentage split. Yeah. My brother-in-law just texted me and said they go all in one pot, but they pay themselves a little bit of pocket money that they can do with whatever they please. Oh, yeah, okay they pay themselves a little bit of pocket money that they can do with whatever they please. Oh, yeah. Okay.

So like you said, if you want to save up for something and buy a big thing, that's for you, for your pocket money. But if you want to just have a little shop each week, you can use that money. I tried that, but then Sade was like the person in charge of the bank at Monopoly. I think she was sneaking the odd 50, you know? I think she was absolutely fingers in the tail. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. A ship came into the harbour carrying different types of bread. Molenberg. Rye. Stop. What? Why is that wrong? Molenberg is a brand.

It's not a type of bread. Yeah, it's Molenberg. No, that's a loaf. That's a branded loaf. Okay. Multigrain. Ciabatta. Damn it!

Today's fact of the day Is about ciabatta I was hoping we would have All this list of breads That we could talk about No Ciabatta What's your favourite bread Ciabatta's not my fave though

Chewy I think those brioche buns Brioche is Are my faves I think brioche is cheating though To be totally honest How is it cheating Butter

Well it's more like a A cross-eyed It's more of a Yeah It's so young Yeah It's almost more of a pastry Than a bread Well butter. Well, it's more like a... A donut. It's more of a... Yeah, it's so young. Yeah, it's almost more of a pastry than a bread. Well, it's not because it's in the bread section, so shut up. I like...

You got so upset about that. If we're including all breads, pita breads right up there. Yep. Naan falls into the bread. But it's better than flat bread. I love a flat bread. On the topic of naan and flatbread, is a wrap a bread? No, a wrap's a wrap.

Thank you. It would fall into the bread family. Well, it's in the bread section, isn't it? But it's like when someone's in your family, but they've got a different surname to you. To me, naan's a more bread than a wrap. But naan is on the road. That's Auntie Naan and the cousin is Rap.

And they've both got different last names, but you know they're part of the family. Roti? Well, yeah, that's like a naan. But that's a bread, isn't it? Yeah, it's a bread. That's Rap's sister, half-sister, adopted. Because a step from roti to rap is small.

A small step. But it's a greasy step. It is a greasy step. It's a greasy step. And then, of course, let's not forget their cousin, Papa Dom.

Oh, yum! That's getting more like That's your cousin's cousin. Yeah. That's your cousin's cousin. That's getting more like a nacho chip. Crack a nacho.

We should, can we, I think we should sit down, take some hallucinogenic drugs, and draw up the bread family tree. I think we should too. We could have a lot of fun with it.

Alright. We could have a lot of fun with it. All right. We could have a lot of fun with it. So if you've got some hallucinogenics. If you've got hallucinogenics and want to get involved in our drawing up of the bread family tree, join us this weekend in the middle of a forest. We'll be dressed as elves. Anyway, we've become slightly off topic.

How old do you think ciabatta bread is? Don't you Google, you son of a... It only lasts about a week, doesn't it? I'm going to say Jesus had it. Jesus had ciabatta? Jesus had ciabatta. You think that was the bread that he broke open and said, take my bread and bloody drink my blood and eat my body?

I reckon there was some olives and rock salt on the top of that. Of the ciabatta. Too tough. Too tough for him to have broken bread that easily. It would be a good bread to break, though, because it's a crusty... Pull apart. Okay, so zero.

I was thinking he had more of a tiger loaf. He probably had a Mollenberg. He would not have had a Mollenberg. He did not have a loaf of pre-cut Mollenberg. Jesus is like, I want my Mollenberg. And Judas is like, I'm more of a mullinbird. He did not have a low pre-cut mullinbird. Jesus is like, I want my mullinbird. And Judas is like, I'm more of a Virgil's guy. Mullinbirds are too big, I'm too weak. Well, today's fact of the day is ciabatta bread and Yvonne Smith are the same age.

What? Really? We both turned 40 this year. So Jesus definitely didn't have ciabatta. Jesus would never have really got his teeth in and been like... You're a couple of thousand years off. Yeah. Are you kidding me?

Yep. Ciabatta bread was first produced in 1982 by Arnaldo Calavare, who called the bread ciabatta polsana, after polsini, the area of Italy that he lived in, and it literally means slipper. Because it looks like a slipper. You can put them on your feet. This was in response to the

French having baguettes and that being their national bread. And Italy needed a national bread. What about focaccia? Isn't that the national bread? No, is that from a different? Well, this is what also led me more. I did a little bit of a deep dive into bread,

but more of a deep dive into Italy because I'm like, how did Italy, the home of carbohydrates, spaghetti, pizza, everything that's carbs, how did it not have a national bread? And that's when I learned that Italy wasn't even a country until 1871. Prior to that, Italy was a patchwork of small kingdoms and city-states. Huh. In 1861, only 2.5% of people in the area now known as Italy even spoke Italian. Well, no wonder they didn't have their bread together. No, exactly.

They didn't have their country together. No, exactly. They never shared their country together. Their small kingdoms together. They didn't have their bread together. This is shocking to me. Because it's one of the oldest areas of Western civilization. Rome, Italy. This whole time I've been actually picturing Focaccia bread. When I said the olives and the rock salt.

I wondered why you were putting olives and rock salt on a ciabatta. More of a traditionallycia bread. Yeah, no, you're When I said the olives and the rock salt. I wondered why you were putting olives and rock salt on a ciabatta. It's more of a traditionally like floury. Yeah. It's not a high bread, is it? And it's got holes in it.

It's a good bread to cut with a bread knife for a sandwich though because the crust holds the strength of the outer. But then you've got to bite through the. I'm not a fan when they

bring it out with scrambled eggs on top of it. You don't even eat crusts. You are a baby man. When they toast it, God, it can ruin a mouth. Yeah. Great for a fresh summer sandwich. Yes.

Okay. And by the way, when they brought all the different states of Italy together and formed the country Italy, they called it the risorghiamento. Right. Which to me sounds like a cheese. Oh, grab the risorghiamento and give it a grate over the pasta. Yes, yes, yes. Of course you do.

Of course you do. So today's fact of the day is ciabatta bread. Am I saying that right? Sure. Why not? Hey! What are you asking? What are you asking someone that's been to Italy once?

Yeah, I've been once or twice. Your parents have property in Italy, don't they? They do. I know. I can't believe Patsy hasn't been to Italy. Patsy, where are you? No, because if I was saying it wrong, Patsy would have let me know. She would have.

She would have let me know because she speaks a little bit of Italian. She does. Ciabatta Bread and Vaughan Alan Smith were both born in 1982. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Well it's a new Friday segment That we're going to try The start of Friday rankings I'm a snake

I'm a slithery little naked snake. Today, snakes. Yeah. This is non-spawn. This is... Oh, absolutely non-spawn. Yeah, what have we got?

A bag of snakes. This is the natural confectionary ones. Yeah. So we'll do this every Friday. Will we rank... We talked about the... The diet, the diet.

We talked about the Tim Tam flavours yesterday, didn't we? We might have to mix it up, though, and maybe next week we could do broccoli versus broccolini or something. Oh, get out. Just so every Friday we're not just sort of like hooning sweets in the morning. Broccolini's going to clean that up, by the way.

Absolutely not. Too stringy. Oh, well, anyway, this next week. Save that for another time. I can smell them. I know. One was broken. I had for another time. I can smell them. I know. One was broken. I had to eat it.

That's the rule. This all started because, how did we get onto this yesterday? There was a bag of them in here. Was there? No. No. We had a bag at home, and there was only a few left. And I said they're always the ones that are left.

And I felt like a sweet treat, so I suffered through it. And ate the pink ones. And then I said what ones were left, and then I said they're always the ones that are left. And I felt like a sweet treat, so I suffered through it. And ate the pink ones. And then I said what ones were left, and then I said orange at the same time as you said yellow. Yeah. And I went yellow is premier. No. No.

Yellow is junk. Whether it's a dinosaur lolly or a snake lolly or any lolly, the yellow is always what I leave. What? So you would go orange over yellow? No, orange is my second least. I will go purple, green, pink, red, whatever. Okay, we need to lay these out.

We need to lay these out. To me, the junk flavour is always the most prominent in the paddock. Paddock. Paddock it? Pack it. Look at how much pink there is here. It's all rubbish. What are you doing? You've taken a yellow and a pink. Pack it? Pack it. Look at how much pink there is here. It's all rubbish. What are you doing?

You've taken a yellow and a pink. Are those... I've taken yellow and pink because I think generally, and you think about fruit bursts in line with this. Again, yellow the worst. Your strawberry, how deep... Banana fruit bursts are actually the worst. It's lemon lime.

What? Lemon lime is the king of the fruit bursts. Banana fruit bursts are the number one. These are a bit dry. Usually they're wetter than this. But usually your pinks and your purples are what people rank the highest. Yeah. Purple is junk.

Purple's junk. The purple snake. Purple and pink are junk. Green is the ultimate snake flavor. It goes green, purple. There's only two greens in the whole pack. That tells me that the green is the premier product.

You're so wrong. Green is feral. No, green's always the best flavour. Do you look through the little window on the bag if you see too many of your least favourite colour you don't get it?

Yeah, same. I do. I shake around and look for yellow, baby. But I said to Sade last night we were going to do this. I said, do we, because this was another bag

we had at home. We've got a lolly problem. And she said, oh yeah, there's a bag at home. And I said, do you know Hayley likes yellow best? And she's like, oh my God, I thought better of her. What? It was generally like, no, yellow. Eat a yellow, grab a yellow.

Experience with me. No, I know what the yellow tastes like. It doesn't even know what it wants to be. Yeah. It's dishwashing liquid. Is that the flavor here? It's like smooth and sweet. No.

So you would go. It's got this wonky aftertaste. You'd go yellow over green or purple. Okay, I'm going yellow, pink. Yeah. Purple. No. Green, orange.

It's almost in reverse. See, I would go purple, green, pink. What's left? Purple, green, pink. Orange and yellow are left. Yeah, that would be my order. No, no, no, no. You're all wrong.

Green is absolutely at the top. That's a pretty hard, fast rule for jet planes, anything. Green at the top. What? Oh, my God. Orange second. Then the rest is just shit. I don't like.

There's no. I've never. Purple and pink are gross. Red is always yuck. Red is not yuck. Red is the best. This is why I'm a good person to have a bag of lollies with, though, because I'll just pick out a few and then you can have that.

Do you know what we should do next week? Either that biscuit sampler tin or favourites. That'll be some fights. Favourites? There's gonna be fists throwing. Do you know what? I'm a Turkish delight girl and I don't want to hear a single word.

He's a Turkish delight boy. That stuff is filth. I just don't understand. I mean we would be good on a road trip because I would hone the yellow, you would hone the green, you'd hone the purple. Yeah, I know. And I don't know why when we've done this all the time, we argue about it. But really, if we worked together,

this is kind of like a metaphor for how our country could work. Like we're all a different colour snake. Yeah. But if we work together, we can get the whole bag done. We can fill a bag. But no one's eating orange. Orange is trash. Do you know what?

When I was a kid and I had kidney infections constantly, week to week, I used to have this medicine and it was orange flavoured. And so I'm tortured by orange. Maybe that's why I don't like pink, is because we had the diarrhoea stuff and it was always like a creamy pink. Right.

Alicia has joined the conversation on 0800DARLS. Alicia, you're number one. It's got to be like, like the rest don't even matter. Alicia, it's not Fruit Burst Week. It's not Fruit Burst Week. Silence. Silence her. She can come back on Fruit Burst Week.

This isn't Fruit Burst Week. But do you agree when it comes to the confectionery company, which is the product we are sampling today, that it is the green snake? The green is like the best. Yeah, the green snake's the best. You need to go get your head checked. No, no, no.

Because I'm a mum and I refer to the things as like tamal, like the kids' rotten tamal. Rotten tamal. Are yellow ones of any lolly, Alicia, the ones that you leave to last?

They can just die as well. Yes! Banana, like it doesn't even taste like banana. It's just foul and I love banana

and that's... Is that what it's supposed to be in the natural confectionery snake farm? No, I think it's meant to be lemon,

isn't it? Yeah, or like a pineapple. Who cares? It's beautiful. It's yellow flavoured. Some texts in to finish off Friday rankings. Snake lollies today if you've just joined us. Someone said green green pino

clean. Thank you. I appreciate that effort you put into that rhyme. But great. Somebody said orange is king, yellow is gross. And that's weird because they're right next to each other. Orange is king. As if.. And that's weird because they're right next to each other. Orange is king. As if. In what world?

Yellow is the best for everything. Orange is the worst and purple is well overrated. Yeah, agreed. Orange is the yuckest. Brooke, you're team purple with me, aren't you? Yeah, I don't know what you guys are talking about. Yellow and green are not nice. What? Hang on. Oh, no, green's okay, Brooke. No, I've got no problem with guys are talking about. Yellow and green are not nice. What? Hang on.

Oh, no, green's okay, Brock. No, I've got no problem with green. Yellow, yes. This is what happened when we... Yellow allies? This is what we're seeing here is another political metaphor. We all get into these factions, but then there's fighting within the factions

when we can't all agree 100% on something. Why is no one in my yellow faction, though? There are people in your yellow faction. Yellow definitely isn't, like, the worst. Orange is the worst. But it would go purple, pink, green, yellow, orange. Yeah. I mean, that feels like a kind of a, quite a common ranking.

You're all haggledy-piggledy. Brooke, thanks for your call. Some messages to finish. Red, purple, green, chuck the rest. I've definitely left packs of lollies with orange and yellow in them and chucked them in the bin. Are we ready to have a common enemy? Yes.

Who wants a common enemy? Yes, please. You know how we get through best when there's a common enemy? Yeah. Someone said, you're going to hate this, but I've never been able to taste the difference and I'll eat all the colours all at the same time. No.

Dove got coronavirus. They lost their sense of taste. Play it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I have a hot little study in my hands here looking at reviews, reading reviews. I'm a big review reader. I won't buy a single thing

without reading a review about it. Have you ever been put off by reviews? Yeah, definitely. Especially like beauty or like health products or something like that. People are like, don't use this, it doesn't work. Right. Or like, you know, it's just awful.

But this is looking at reviews of accommodation. So your booking.coms or your Airbnbs book a batch. Yep. And they surveyed 2,000 people and 67% confessed that they are obsessed with scrolling reviews before they book. And on average, people read 17 reviews on an accommodation before they'll book it.

17. You've got to take those kind of reviews with a pinch of salt, you know? You have to. You've got to read and kind of pick through and be like, oh, this person's upset because what would be upset? The sun came through the window. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, like people like to spend, you know,

$70 on a motel, but then whinge when, I don't know. When it's not five star. It didn't have a buffet breakfast. Yeah, or, you know, the window was creaky when they opened it. It's like, that's because you're staying in a motel that costs $70 a night. I know, but these days we have such amazing and like instant photography. So people can make their houses or their accommodation or their Airbnbs look so swish and nice.

Just with a well-angled wide lens camera. And then you get there and you're like, this place is tiny and dirty. That's why TripAdvisor, if you're booking accommodation, is good. Because they have the site photos, but they also have the... Customer photos. Customer photos and reviews. So you can look through those.

Yeah, so they always have the photos of the breakfast buffet and then they have the customer photos of people and you're like, ugh, those are powdered. And it's like two bits of toast. Yeah.

So 17 reviews. I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but I definitely read reviews. I like the little graph they have with the majority of reviews, like the little bar graph, and you can see how many one star, two star, three star, four star, five star reviews. And then if it's like in the middle to good, I'm just like, oh, that's enough for me.

The average of reviews. Yeah. They're saying that 72% of people trust strangers' opinions more when booking than those of the people who have listed the booking. But you would though, right? Of course you would. Because they're not going to tell you about the construction next door. Yeah, or like it's a bit dirty, can't be bothered cleaning it.

Noisy kind of stuff, yeah. Yeah, well there you go. Yeah, this is me, I'm guilty of this. I'd like to just stay anywhere. The wife books everything, doesn't she? You're not organised at all, otherwise it would never get booked. Yeah, no, you is me. I'm guilty of this. I'd like to just stay anywhere. The wife books everything, doesn't she? You're not organised at all, otherwise it would never get booked. Yeah, no, you're useless. Yeah, no.

Absolutely. What a waste of human space. Have a great weekend, everybody. This is weaponising competence here. You're weaponising your incompetence. I can't do anything. I'm just over here. I'm a slug of a human.

I'm just looking for a lettuce leaf to chew on and leaving a slimy trail wherever I go. Yeah, just a potato with a willy to it. Yeah, that's what I am. A potato. A big, hot potato with a little, cold willy. Wow. And that's our show today. Have a great weekend.