ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 28th June 2022

Episode Date: June 28, 2022

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For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Graberich, Smooth Barista Made Coffee. We're about to head off now after the show, but pre the podcast to the airport for our bangers bingo, our second leg. Flying to Tauranga today and then to Wellington.

And logistically, having these conversations behind the scenes about how we're going to fit all the gear into the Whitegill Jimny. Yeah, because I think we should just take my car,

the hatchback. Plenty of room there. Yeah, because I think we should just take my car, the hatchback. Plenty of room there. Yeah, but I need a valet. After the weekend's hammering. I've said it yesterday, and I'll say it again, you're not allowed to take those up to the company anymore. It's called fraud. It's called fraud.

Okay. Can't you just get the girls to wash your car? Ah, children do a terrible job. Child labour's not what it used to be, Hayley. I tell you what, you used to be able to buy a pair of shoes that were put together by a small child, and they would hold for years. But now I had to close three of my sweatshops

because it's illegal now. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. What a hit for you. That saddens me. It really was, yeah. That saddens me. You want to valet? I will say I did do a little airport valet last week.

Yeah. They always did an immaculate job when I used to tick them airport valet last week. Yeah. Always did an immaculate job when I used to tick them up on the work account. Always did an immaculate job. Hell yeah. I turned up and I was like, hey, I'm here to pick up my car. And they were like, there it is. And I didn't even recognize it was glistening. I don't know.

It's what, reflective? Is that silver? Yeah. I thought it had gunmetal gray matte finish. When I had a car, and this was a long time ago, all I would ever do is just go to the service station and use that sucky vacuum cleaner. Oh, for God's sake. And just run a cloth over it.

Who are you people? Run a cloth. Getting a valet. I don't think you see how I treat my car. I have seen it. It's more than just running a cloth. Yeah, well, mine was treated fine until it got very, very muddy. But you're saying, Vaughn, that you want to tie stuff to the roof.

Yeah, well, I've got the roof racks. I've only used them once. I feel like we could definitely stack the boxes in, chuck a strap over. There's no way I am trusting my suitcase on the roof of your car. I might Uber. I don't think it's pronounced that way. Silent. Agreed.

Silent, invisible H. Yeah. Huber. I like to catch the Hilber I just think it's It'll make us look real cool And like we're going for A four wheel drive adventure I don't fit in the back

Let alone me And everyone's bags I'll put a Felden shelter Roof tent on Tomorrow And people will look at me And be like There's a guy that loves adventures

Tomorrow on the show How are we to stop on Stowe Highway 16 To pick up our suitcases Yeah Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley The plane that loads from the back tomorrow on the show how we're to stop on Stowe Highway 16 to pick up our suitcases. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The plane that loads from the back?

From Auckland to Tauranga. From Auckland to Tauranga. It's a littley. It loads from the front so you've got to get seats up the front. We don't have to. Anna's checked us all in.

What? How dare she? You've checked me in. I didn't give you the authority to do that. No, I didn't give you permission in this post-September 11. You can't check in with another man without his permission. I think you can.

Hang on. Oh, I got checked. My God, the audacity. What seat did you get? What's my seat? 5C. I'm 4C. I'm glad to see she's stacked us up.

Oh, I'm going to kick you. I'm going to kick you. Producer Anna, what's your seat? What's your seat? I should be two. No, I'm five something. Five A. I think it goes me, Carl and Hayley.

And, you know, you've given the authority to organise every other aspect of your life. Who am I sitting next to? I'm 1D. Oh, my God. One Direction. Yeah, I'm One Direction. One. I'm 1D.

One's never enough. So you're four? Should I be two, two D? Wow, four. Four, five. What is it? Four D? Four across.

How many can I have on this plane? It's two seats, aisle, two more seats. Fourteen D? Who's in five D? Well, the Civil Aviation Authority would prefer you had no D. I don't know if you can get through that many on a flight to Tauranga. It's very short. Hang on, where's Jared sitting?

I'm 5D. Why am I in C? I'm a sexual stranger. I'm also... I've got a window seat. Oh, no, I don't. I'm in the aisle next to a stranger. This is...

I quit. Come next to me. You could be 2D. Please accept my resignation. I want a window, though, because I like to look out the window on a flight to Tauranga and be like, there's Morrinsville.'s moronsville moronsville everybody moronsville that's what i say because i'm from moronsville i want to change my seat i want to sit next to you it's too late no it's too late because anna's checked you in we can chat we can try and change it at the airport stranger

you said you love meeting new people i do not if Not if they've got COVID though. That's true. Very true. Well, today bangers bingo, Tauranga, which is why we're heading down after the show. And then we'll be in Wellington tomorrow. So we've got a two-day roadie. And it's all thanks to Smirnoff Soda, available at liquor

stores now in three epic flavours. You can register a team for tonight's bangers bingo at Tauranga's Freeport with Cleaver & Co. We've had a couple pull out last minute. So if you want to slide in there. I don't know, maybe COVID? Oh, yeah, don't come in. That's a good excuse.

Thank you. You can register ZM Online or just text Bingo to 9696. Any spots for Wellington? What are we? Nah, just register anyway. If we need a team last minute, we can get you in there. Yeah. So ZM online to register or Bingo to 9696.

And yeah, Tauranga, we'll see you tonight. Vaughan's planning his walk up the mount. Yeah. To do his classic white girl post on Instagram. I'm just going to get my outfit ready. And then take some makeup on. Of course I am. Okay.

I might do an Eamon post. The leggings? Actually, I might do an Eamon post while I'm up there. Okay. Right, okay. I reckon take a few brands up the mountain. Yeah, yeah, take some changes. You got your Lorna Janes?

You're doing your Lorna Janes? You got to do Lorna Jane. You got to do your Eamons. You got to do your Lulus. Lulus. Yep. Ivy Park. Ivy Park.

Ivy Park. You've got your wife's sweatshirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A nanny bing. A nanny bing. A nanny. It's not a panini. It's not a toasted sandwich.

You should actually. Janina bing. You should just go to AS Color and get a plain hoodie and do panini bing. Panini bing. That's funny. You should. Can I place an order for a panini bing? I was going to get.

Of course, you won't be listening, I'm going to get an oversized grey hoodie from Ace Colour and get the logo printed on it and change it with her one in her cupboard and see if she ever notices. I bet you won't. That's clever. Very, very smart. All right, the top six is coming up. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, listen up. Librans, Geminis, Capricorns. I'm a Cancer, Gemini, Casp. I'm a Cancer, yeah. You're a Casp, are you? Yeah, I'm a Casp. Vaughn, what are you? Pisces.

Pisces, of course you are. Well, apparently, if you believe in astrology, not astronomy. Star signs. Astronomy is undeniable, isn't it? Astrology is your star signs and what they mean for you. If you believe in astrology, a recent study has found you are probably quite dumb. Okay.

Is their find, not mine, not my findings. Not, yeah, okay. Their findings that you are less intelligent and more narcissistic. So they believe that the narcissistic side of people who believe in astrology comes from, like, you believe in astrology because you have a very self-centred worldview.

So you think that everything revolves around you, even the stars. Yeah, and what time of year you were born. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, actually has some kind of meaning. And then the lack of intelligence side of it is about your lack of ability of critical thinking leading to a belief in other pseudosciences and the like. Are you getting the newspaper?

You're going to read the star signs? I'm getting the horoscope. Yeah. So the higher the level of intelligence, the lower the belief in astrology and vice versa. Yeah. So if you believe in the star signs, you're and vice versa. Yeah. So if you believe in the star signs, you're a bit thick. But anyway, what's ours? Okay.

Well, what's yours? Libra. Libra. Today. Libra. Which one's yours? I can't find. Here it is.

The balance. Whether you're stuck in a rut or a trap, the answer is the same. Wiggle. Wiggling will either show you. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggling will either show you... Wiggling will either show you where you're pinned or liberate without you even needing to know. Move

however you can. You'll get free. That's so crazy because literally, just then I said something to you guys and I'll tell you off here and then I got excited about it and I went... You did a wiggle. And I wiggled. Yeah, but then I also just before felt the urge to do a little bit of a wheeze, you did a wiggle. And I wiggled. You wiggled, yeah. But then I also just before felt the urge to do a little bit of a wheeze

and I did a wiggle. So is there any wiggle mention? Well, Vaughn, it says here, a book can't change the world but a person who acts on an idea can change everything. The concept needs you.

You'll serve them today. What if my idea is a book? Well, there you go. You've got a book deal. A book deal. But the book can't change the world but my idea could change the world but my idea is a book. Well, you've paradoxed You've got a book deal. A book deal. But the book can't change the world. I don't know. But my idea could change the world, but my idea is a book. Well, you've paradoxed yourself there, Pisces.

These vague statements really are... They're not vague. They're specific to us, Cancer. What is it? My one today, people who want your attention and other precious resources you possess may try to convince you that you owe them. False. False?

You choose how to engage with the world, which includes the choice not to engage at all. People who want your resources. Is this about me taking your chicken over the weekend again? It is, it is. I want your resources. Sounds like Dwight from the American Office right now. They want your resources, they'll say you owe them something.

False. Wait, so I'm wiggling. You're writing a book. No, I've got an idea that can change the world. A book can't change the world. Yeah, I've got a paradox on my hands. And you don't owe anybody shit. We all sound dumb, don't we?

But anyway, because this doesn't matter, because we don't believe in that, because we are hyper-intelligent. Yeah, we're smart. But what does our Chinese zodiac say? That's the one I'm all about. Oh, yeah. Because you're an animal. Yeah, yeah. You get to be say? That's the one I'm worried about. Oh, yeah. Because you're an animal. Yeah, yeah.

You get to be a cute animal. I think I'm a rat. Yeah. Sorry about that. Yuck. In the middle of the night, I'm wide awake. I crave your taste. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Play ZM. Well, the Canadians have updated the Canadian Broadcasting Law. It's been rushed through Parliament. Some people say it hasn't been given enough time, but it is going to mean that companies that have content such as Spotify, Netflix, all of the streaming services. Everything in Canada is going to have to have, and I can't find exactly how much. I've read a few stories,

but they're going to have to have X amount of local content. Oh, that's cool. So I guess kind of similar to what we have here. Like we've got not hard quotas for New Zealand music, right? But it's like you should play at least X amount. At least two 660 songs an hour. I believe it's two an

hour. And TVNZ's the same with their content and the amount of what they put on has to have a certain amount of Kiwi content. It does. But because it's kind of been rushed through and it's a bit iffy, some people are saying this also is now going to mean

that people that provide adult content online are going to have to have X amount of Canadian adult content. Oh, but it's the friendliest porn on the internet. I can't do... You've got to do like an American but then shove a couple of O's in there. Yeah, like that.

It's really cold. Oh, in the house. The hummus house. That'll be the adult entertainment. Knock, knock, knock. Oh, I'm cold. Can I come into the house? Certainly. Oh, let me take off my jacket. But. Oh, I'm cold. Can I come into the house? Certainly. Come in. Oh, let me take off my jacket.

But you just said you were cold. Oh, I've got nothing on over me breasts. Oh, I'm blushing. Yeah, that's Canadian. They sound too nice to do adult content, don't they? It's a bit friendly, isn't it? Yeah. Could be a new genre of it.

Oh, yeah, like friendly adult. Friendly. Yeah. Yeah. Friendly. Like really complimentary. Please can I touch it? Absolutely. Right. Please do. Wow. Yeah. Oh, but your hands are so cold.

Sorry, I'll warm them up. Then there's a brief break while they're warming up their hands. Yeah. And they come back and say, how's that temperature for you? Yeah. Much better. Alanis Morissette plays in the background. Oh, yes, because that's Canadian content, isn't it?

Avril Lavigne. Yeah. Are we out of Canadian musicians? Drake? Yeah, that's true. It's all counts towards the quota. Michael Bublé. Yes.

I think that's enough. This sounds great. That sounds great. Michael Bublé, yes. I think that's enough. This sounds great. That sounds great. I'd watch. Certainly a good soundtrack. For investigation, you know. Good soundtrack, and that's why you watch Edelcontent. Exactly.

For the soundtrack. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. This Saturday at Eden Park, New Zealand take on Ireland. Last time New Zealand lost at Eden Park, Ireland's coach was still playing leagues. He sees the giant TAB ad on the front page of the New Zealand Herald.

Oh, okay. Great for gambling that boozes the problem at the moment, eh? Yeah. Paddy Gowron is through. Paddy Gowron, losing all your week's wages on a bad bet. Yeah. I look into gambling. But yeah.

What was he doing playing league? Who's their coach? I've got no idea. I need more information, TAB. You've given me a fact, but then this is a problem with a fact. I know nothing about sport, and then I hit someone with this fact, and they're like, oh, tell me more about the coach, and that's it. Well, I knew that they used to be coached by a New Zealander,

and he's come back to New Zealand. No. Who did he coach? The Welsh? Yeah. And England. Didn't he coach England for a while? Mitchell.

John Mitchell. Look, I don't know. Didn't he coach the British team? We're all out of our depth here. I can list off some great marching coaches, but... That's not going to help us at all. Colleen Pogba. I want to say Schmidt.

Trish Flanagan. Someone Schmidt? Schmidt? Schmidt. I saw him on the back page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Schmidt answers SOS the lead All Blacks against Irish team he used to coach. Yeah, see?

Right, because the coaching staff, you're... Shit, we're good at sports, eh? So good at sport. You're Steve Hansen. Yeah, they say sports radio's dead, eh? But look at us go. Bro, what? We've brought it back.

We have brought... Sports radio. Sports. What? Sports. Sports radio. Is our coach still Steve Hansen? Yep.

Right. He's got the vid, though. Well, now, is he the drummer Or the guy that played The keyboard in Hansen Played the keyboard Taylor Now he's the all-boys coach No one in sports radio

Is dead with jokes like that Hansen's can't be stopped Hansen's can't be stopped So I've got the top six people That mainly get called up For this For a run For the ABs this weekend It could be that mainly get called up for a run.

For the ABs this weekend. It could be that bad that someone could do a ratty in the changing room and they're out. And they're out on the spot. They're just going to need an all black at number eight. You might need six. Yeah. And they'll be there in the stands ready. Yeah. I'm looking forward to hearing who you're going to suggest.

Well, number six on the list of the top six people who might get a run for the ABs this weekend. The guy selling hot chips. Yes. Hot chip guy. Yeah, hot chip guy is going to need to find someone else to put on the little pinny, and he's going to put on the ABs jersey and get out there. Hot chip guy would just be stoked to get away from that.

How much for hot chips? That's not enough, bloody chips! And then they give them the pun. That's not enough in here! Yeah. How much is a bottle of hot chips now? Are they give them the pun, there's not enough in here. Yeah. How much is a bottle of hot chips now? Are they like seven bucks

or something? Really, chipflation needs an investigation primarily on this. Chipflation is real. At least he would have been already sort of carb loading.

Yeah, absolutely jacked. A lot of energy to burn. Ready for it. Number five on the list of the top six people who might get a run for the All Blacks this weekend,

the All Blacks Physio. They're in good shape. They know how it works under the body. They could get a little $5 for chips. And I've got the menu here. The Eden Park menu. $5. That's not too bad. Mexican burger,

$11.50. What makes it a Mexican burger? A spiced Mexican beef patty on a sesame seed bun, Vaughan. Got any corn in there? Coriander? Guacamole. Corn chips, red onion salsa, lettuce and cheese. All on the bun. All on the...

I don't want corn chips on the burger. All on the burger. Well, you're tough. They'll be soggy anyway because they make those like four hours before, don't they? That could be right then. Also a Moroccan burger there, but yeah, good stuff. What makes it Moroccan? Cooked in a tangine, is it?

Yes. So yeah, the All Blacks physio in at number five. But then I wonder if, like, the All Blacks physio has to deal with all the injuries caused by rugby. Yeah. Or if they're like, no, I wouldn't play that for the life of me. I don't know. Have you seen what it does to the body?

Too much respect for their own body. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six people who might get a run for the All Blacks this weekend, that little kid that brings out the ball. Or the remote control car that brings out the ball sometimes. I love when it's a remote control car. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Off it goes. God, the kid will get ruined in a tackle. In a scrum as well. Dare I say broken in half. Number three on the list of the top six people who might get a run on for the All Blacks this weekend, the streaker or the red badge security guard that's going to

absolutely smash them. Yeah, good. Got a good set of legs on them. Yeah, those red badge security guards when they make contact, eh? Boof.

Yeah, but then you get caught up in the mind when you're chasing this naked streaker and then all of a sudden there's junks in your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get a down.

Watch out for the diddle. Yeah. Watch out for the diddle, alright? You've been on that slapping about. I think that's what they say in the red badge security briefing before the game. Watch out for the diddle.

Watch out for the diddle. Or if it's a woman, the boobies. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six people who might get a run on for the All Blacks this weekend. Someone from the Irish team. Remember when you go play sport as a kid and your team was short or the other team was short? Yes. And someone from the other team had to play for theirs and they hated it.

Yeah. I always, when that happened to me, I always played extremely poorly. Yeah. Oh yeah. Dropped it. Oh no, I forgot how to run again. Oh, stink. And number one on the list of the top six people who might get a run on for the All Blacks this weekend.

I think we have a bunch of historic All Blacks in the stadium ready to go. You're John Kerwin's. You're Sean Fitzpat's. Yeah, nice. You're Sean Fitzpatrick's or maybe Buck. Everyone's always like, oh, bring back Buck. Yeah.

Let's see. Let's see what happens when we bring him back now. Let's bring him back. Dare I say, the kid that runs out the mall might come out slightly better off than Buck.

That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Here is an Australian, a show sponsor gets a freebie here. Yeah. This is a freebie for the show sponsor. a freebie here. This is a freebie for the show sponsor. Maccas in Australia is doing a promotion called Sources in July.

And every week they're going to be. The name needs workshop. Yeah. I thought so too. It's not even clever. Sources in July. Well, what would you call it then? I don't know.

Give me $20,000 in an afternoon on an advertising agency's coke-binged bloody vineyard trip and I reckon we could come up with something. There's no pun to it. There's no wordplay. Sources in July. Or dipping days. What about sources? Dipping days is good. Sources may vary.

Nah, that's a bit, yeah. Close to the source. Close sources, yeah. Personal sources. According to sources. According to the sources. Dry July. More like try July, try our new sources.

Try July, even just try July. Moist July. Dripping July. Dip, dip. Dip July, dip. Diptober? No, that would be great in October. Yeah, it would be.

Diptober's good. October's great for everything. Yeah. October really is. It really works well. But I mean, just in a minute there, we've come up with a lot better ones. We've got some pillars. We've got some starting points.

Bit of blue sky thinking. We haven't had any coke yet. God, working in an advertising agency must be so easy, eh? Must be a piece of cake. Yeah, just hang around long enough, you'll be a senior, and then, I don't know, partner, and then chit on your wife. And then... Armed sources.

Armed sources. Allied sources. Armed sources. Oh, like armed forces. So Australia, every week, different dipping sauce. What about horses? Is there anything on horses? Or what about sources of courses?

Courses of sources, because you've got multiple sources. Courses of sources. That line of coke, absolutely. Going to change that up. I told you what, guys, when you reach a dead end road, snort some coke and just go up the hill. That's my advertising agent. It's pretty much like Mad Men, isn't it?

It really is. Four courses of sauces. Make sure your coke's not fentanyl, though. Don't snort coke. I am trying to move this on. Are we getting these sauces here in New Zealand? No word yet. And the first two sauces have been revealed. Because this is quite timely,

because we will be in Australia at the weekend, Hayley. Oh my god, and we're going out on Friday So maybe on Saturday Oh my god no Friday night Friday night Yeah Gonna get some late night non-olds One

Dipping sauce one Yep The sauce that Korean boy band It's South Korean by the way Yeah You have to specify I don't know if anybody needed specificity Of what part of Korea BTS come from.

I don't think Kim Jong-un's letting a boy band travel around the world. No. They'll see what it's really like. Yeah. The world. So South Korean boy band BTS made this very popular and sold out and it just went crazy. A Cajun dipping sauce. Ooh.

Yum. Love that. I love those Cajun flavours. So is this week one? No, because it's only running from July 6th to July 19th. Oh, six. Damn it.

Okay. So you guys won't be there? Oh, no. No. Hayley won't. Oh, you're hanging around. Oh, actually, on the way, is there a Nonald's at Melbourne Airport?

No, it's the 6th of July. Yeah, but on the way home. Oh, yeah, yeah. The way home, you could, yeah. I'm 16th. I'm there. Maybe. I'll get. Yeah, but on the way home. Oh, yeah, yeah, the way home you could, yeah. I'm 16th. I'm there. Just get it.

I'll get the sauces and I'll bring some home. So then Cajun sauce and the second one is the rare Szechuan sauce. Oh, yum, table sauce. That's good. First released for Milan in 1998. Made famous again by Rick and Morty who were obsessed with it. And then there was a limited edition release. Were they obsessed with it yeah what what else are they that's good two more to be revealed have not yet been revealed they're leaving it close though i know maybe it's tzatziki

just thinking they're kind of going global Global tzatziki? You can't dip a nugget in that. Are you crazy? You can't dip a nugget in tzatziki. I mean, look. You might as well say it's a tabbouleh. It's for a kebab or a souvlaki. What is a nugget but a crumbed kebab chunk? You do raise a phallic point. Thank you.

But it's not surrounded by lettuce and, you know. Is there lettuce in a kebab? No tzatziki then. There's no lettuce in a kebab. What about like just a They're going to put it under that grill so you don't want lettuce in it. You don't want hot lettuce. There's always lettuce in a kebab. No, you're thinking there's tabbouleh in a kebab. No, are you thinking of a kebab skewer?

No. Or are you thinking of a kebab like I never have lettuce in my kebab. Talk to the producers. Everybody is like. There's lettuce in your kebab. No, are you thinking of a kebab skewer? No. Or are you thinking of a kebab like in a thingy? I never have lettuce in my kebab. Talk to the producers. Everybody is like... There's lettuce in your kebab, you idiot. No, I'm saying opt out because if they're putting it in the... No, lettuce can't wait. There's definitely lettuce. You guys are mad. I ask for no

lettuce, but I have to specify. No, I'm saying don't lettuce. There's no room for lettuce in a kebab. If you're going to then hate the kebab, you can't put lettuce in it because then you're going to have warm lettuce. How long are you heating the kebab for? Not for long. They put it in the thing and the heat goes through it. No, they're only crisping the outside and that's it. Sometimes they leave it in.

You need to grow up. You need to get some lettuce in your diet. Get some tabbouleh. I love a lettuce on a burger. It's the only thing that makes the kebab feel like it's a health food. We've got a bit of a break coming up, don't we? A bit of a holiday time. Yeah, a couple of weeks off from next week.

Bree and Clint will be in, filling in. Yeah, don't miss us too much, but we don't want to hear from you. I don't want to hear a thing. Don't message us. Are we allowed to message you? Nope. No, okay, right. No contact us. I'm doing an Anna and I'm leaving the

group chat. I'm putting an email. Please, I'm away. To be fair, it's only Vaughn that's a pest in the group chat. He's such a pest. Guys, look, I found a rat. Guys, look. Guys, look. I'm sorry. I'm trying to do my part to be Predator 3, babe. Predator 3 by 2050.

Well, anyway, with the holiday coming up, the thing I'm most looking forward to is some sleep, some holiday sleep, some not-your-bed sleeps, which are... Oh, yeah, bliss. I've got the best bed, but there's something about sleeping in another bed that makes it so good, and I'm not alone. 68% of people say they get the best sleep of their lives

while on vacation. It's because there's no alarm right and like in your case would there be no kids um if you were if you were vacationing without them though like you sometimes have oh yeah that would be that would be nice kids don't disappear during the holidays the holidays about they do to the grandparents oh yeah sometimes they do that's pretty great. No, they just go into the lounge and watch TV anyway. They don't really wake us up anymore. But, yeah, I think it's just being at home.

I've always got a list of things that need doing. Yeah. But if you're on vacation, you can wake up a little bit later and do them. There's nothing else to do. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm looking forward to is having a vacation of my life. So this is specifically away on vacation. Away. Staying in a hotel, staying in a resort of types, a water side villa.

What is it saying though that we're all getting our best sleep on holiday? That our lives are too like stressful and busy? Yes. Oh my God. Effectively, yeah. We're doing it all wrong. We should be on holiday all the time. And we're working just two weeks a year.

You know my stance on this. Two weeks of just hot, hot radio. Yeah. Just the best stuff. And then take a big, big. Yeah, 48 week break. 50 week break. Great idea.

Great idea. One of those three weeks on, three weeks off situations. Yeah. Shift workers do. The only thing I find with sleeps away, especially if you're in a hotel, God, those sheets are too crisp. They're so loud.

Such a shush. Such crisp. And tight. Oh my God. Such a tight do. Give it some wiggle room. Yeah, get in there, kick your feet around.

It's too loud. Like that crunch of those thick Sheraton sheets. It's too crunchy. It wakes you up. Yeah, right. But then it can also go the other way and the sheets are like real thin

and you're just like, how many people have been on these? And then they come untucked from the bed. That's your choice because you keep staying at a top 10 holiday park to save money. You're so cheap. You can afford to splash out on a crisp sheet spot.

At the holiday park, don't they tell you to bring your own sheets? So if you're bringing thin... I bring a sleeping bag. Thin, gross sheets. That's on you. Stay somewhere nice. All right.

Well, if you need some good sleep, just book a staycation or a holiday. Book the kids. Send them off to camp. We used to go to camp. Do people still go to camp now? On our school holidays? Yeah. I don't know if it is...

Not like school camp, but like... Our camp. Our camp. I got sent to a fat camp. I did get sent to a fat camp. But just like fun camps. Yeah, right. And then go book yourself a holiday and have a good sleep and some crispy sheets.

No, it's not the same as it was. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. New data released on the world's most popular website Cloudflare Radar They have released their popularity rankings Cloudflare Radar Do you want me to click the hyperlink?

Any relation of Terradar? Yes They are web hosting site His computer cousin The up-to-date internet trends and insights on Cloudflare radar. 32% of total internet traffic. 32% of the whole world of total internet traffic in the past 24 hours has been bots. Yeah.

Bots, baby. They're everywhere. What are they doing? I don't know what purpose they serve. They're commenting on, you know, news articles to rile up your auntie. They're liking things to make them more popular. This is insane. Oh, my gosh.

This is a great website. What do you think of total internet traffic in the last week was from a mobile device versus a desktop? But you're talking the whole world. Mobile or desktop? 70. 65. 56%.

Yeah. Because there's still a lot of places in the world where they're not as mobile, right? Yeah. And would be more desktop. Yeah. Yeah, because there's still a lot of places in the world where they're not as mobile, right? Yeah. And would be more desktop. Yeah. Yeah, totally. But that's heaps,

considering phones used to be for like texting and calling. Yeah. And that was it. Yeah. So they've released their most popular websites. Oh, wow. There's even like a... There's some websites blowing his mind.

I'm so distracted now. I love that you found all these stats. There's attacks worldwide. The top 10 strongest attacks by destination or origin country, as seen by Cloudflare. Yeah. So by destination, I'd say 40% are heading towards the US, cyber attacks on the US.

Oh, wow. The second biggest would be on Great Britain. Oh. All coming from Russia. So the US. The second biggest would be on Great Britain. All coming from Russia. So the source, US is attacking itself by the looks of things. That feels very American. Then there's a big part from Russia,

a big part from China, a big part from Germany attacking the US. Were you attacking anyone? A big part of, you know, right at big part of, you know, right at the tip of Southeast Asia before it becomes like

Malaysia and all the islands and stuff. What's right on the tip? Singapore? Yeah. Is that Singapore? A lot coming from there? Oh my gosh.

Really? Okay. We came here to tell you the top 10, but this is definitely, this is definitely more exciting. It's blowing your mind. Well, you can bookmark that for later for some interesting stats sometime. Yeah, for some interesting reading.

Just personal reading. Yeah. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay. So anyway, at the end of last year, the last quarter of last year, the top five websites were apple.com, microsoft.com, facebook.com, Google.com, and number one was TikTok.com. You know why a lot of those are there? Because they're the default when you open up the Safari browser on any Mac.

It'll go to Apple.com. Would Microsoft be your emails, your work emails and stuff? Yeah, those are a lot of outlook and also a default for many things. And then Facebook, Google, and TikTok were like visited on purpose. Yeah. But then in the last 30 days, it's changed. TikTok no longer on top.

Google back on top. Everybody going to Google to Google things. Yeah, exactly. Facebook three, Microsoft.com four and Apple.com five. Instagram's way down,

but then most Instagram browsing would be through the app, through the phone. That's what amazed me about TikTok is who's going to that on a website. Yeah. I sometimes use Instagram on the desktop. Yeah, I do.

But a lot of people, when they see that you can use Instagram on a desktop, they're like, huh, didn't know you could do that. Yeah. It's mostly they just go through the app. Right. But it's been taken off its top perch. Yeah. It's top perch.

It's top perch, yes. It was talk of the pile, and. It's tock perch, yes. Good. It was tock of the pile and now it's been knocked down a pig. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little pole Silly little pole

It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Do you watch TV and movies with subtitles?

On or off? I'm a big subtitles fan. I love subtitles. I love subtitles. Really? Yeah. If I'm watching something and it's in English, I'll turn them off because they're very annoying.

Yeah, you're not there to read a book. No, because then I find I miss things. Same. Because I'm reading. Right. Whereas if I'm obviously watching a foreign film, which I do from time to time, then obviously I'll deal with it.

Did anyone else make the mistake of when Squid Game first came out and watched episode one with the dubbing? Never. No. Dubbing is my absolute pet peeve. I hate it. Subtitles over dubbing. Always. Dubbing, they never put as much effort into dubbing as they think they should. Yeah. There was a German series called

Dark that I started watching with dubbing and it did my head in. So I switched to subtitles. It was so much better. They just must get the worst actors for dubbing. The did my head in. Yeah. So I switched to subtitles. It was so much better. They just must get the worst actors for dubbing. Mmm. The Squid Game one was like,

hey man, don't push me. Yeah. You're like, there's no hurry. They're like dubbing. Ah! Ah!

Ah! It's like dubbing, they have them in a studio, like just take them out. They're not in their body. Take them outside at least so it sounds like they're in a forest

I don't know. Anyway, we're not talking about dubbing though, are we? Subtitles Yeah, I'm the same If it's in English, no subtitles I only have to miss one word and then I'll pause the show and turn on subtitles I'll be like, ah, no, no But a lot of people also turn into subtitles

when it's, say, it's an accent like Love Island or... Like a Geordie. Like Derry Girls or something. Yeah, yeah. If there's a thick accent, you've got to turn that on. So 29% of people said, I will watch movies and TV with subtitles on. 71% said subtitles off.

Emma said, who can honestly understand every word someone says on Love Island UK? So you've got to have them on just as a sort of a safety net of understanding. Holly says, only if I'm watching a movie that my partner isn't interested in because otherwise he sits on his phone with it blasting full volume. What? How inconsiderate, Holly. That's rude. You've got to get a more considerate partner.

Get headphones or tell him to get headphones. He gets headphones. Yeah, he gets headphones. Or gets you a nicer set of headphones. Or just get a hotter boyfriend or something. Yeah, get a hotter boyfriend. One that watches the movie with you. Yeah, one that wants to watch a movie.

Dump him. I think we have over... Dump him. We'll get an update on that. Yeah. Dump him. I want to see it done. Alicia says,

for a while there when our baby would wake up all the time, we'd have subtitles on so we could have the volume stupidly low to not risk waking her. I'd say get a new baby. Get a new baby. Dump that one. Give that baby

to that guy. Yeah, get both of them. They just got dumped. Give the baby to Holly's now ex-boyfriend. Yeah. They're out on their own. Two loud, annoying people

with no consideration for others wanting to watch a show. Yeah. They'll see what it's like soon. Soon enough. And they'll come crawling back. The baby literally because it can't walk yet.

Sure. Jess says, I find myself only reading the subtitles and not actually looking at the movie itself. Yeah. Probably more of a reflection on you, Jess. You should get out with that guy and that baby. What a comical movie that would be. A journey movie. Yeah. With Jess and that guy and that baby. Yeah. What a comical movie that would be. A journey movie. Yeah.

With Jess and that guy and that baby. And that's what it could be called too. That's what it's called. Jess, the guy, and the baby. Bree says, if it's in another language, subtitles rather than dubbing. I've even used subtitles if I'm struggling with accents like the thick Irish accents in Dairy Girls. Yeah. There you go. That Irish accent is thick like molasses. I love Dairy Girls. Yeah. There you go. That Irish accent is thick like molasses.

I love Dairy Girls. It's so good. Or even like a Clint Eastwood, you know, when they're like, You are just running around like a mumble. Yeah. A Batman. Josh says, Subtitles on.

I should probably get my hearing checked or something, but I can't hear what anyone's saying without the subtitles. Oh, okay. You might have a moth in your ear. Sorry. Started saying it. You might have a buildup in your ear. As Sally said, subtitles on second time watching,

especially in intense shows, I catch anything that I missed. Oh, okay. You won't watch them the first time, Sally, and you won't need to rewatch it. Get a new movie. There's also so much TV like who's watching something twice. Rewatch it. Yeah, does Sally need to get in the trash with the baby?

You know what's worse than watching the baby, the guide? Yeah. Was it Bree that we're getting rid of? Yeah. And Sally as well. What a bloody combo they're going to be. You know what's worse than watching the same TV show or movie twice? What?

Reading the same book twice. Oh, yeah. I don't get reading a book twice. Just read it better the first time. Depends on the book, though. You're in the trash with Sally, Bree, the baby and the guy. I've got a couple of books that I've read numerous times. Really?

I'm in the trash, yeah. The Bible. I know you're a huge fan. I read that daily. Yeah, yeah. You've got a few posters, those stickers, to mark the pages on the Bible. The passages that really support me during the day. And they're all labelled like

jealousy, like if you're jealous of me, do you have any jealousy? And it's Mark. That's right. Mark's like... Gluttony is a heavily weathered page. Yes. So there you go. Subtitles not as popular as no subtitles. Also I do

on subtitles find it low key amusing when news places dub over people and it's low key racism. Oh I know. And you're like they did not need a subtitle. Any accent that's not Kiwi or Australian they're like we'll put subtitles. You're like I can understand

them. I know right. Terrible., we'll put subtitles. You're like, I can understand them. I know, right? Terrible. Also with subtitles, the Squid Game producer, eh, was like, what those subtitles say is not really a good translation of it. Yeah, and the dubbing's an even worse translation of it. It's like a dumbing down of it. Yeah. So for season two of Squid Game, we've got time,

because it'll probably take a good year or two to make, we'll learn Korean. Oh. Your one's the easy option. I'm going to learn Korean. We may have seen this on TikTok. It's huge in Australia. There are locations in Australia on the Goldie,

Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, a couple in Sydney, and even in Birmingham and Sheffield in the UK. Karen's Diner is coming to New Zealand. It's a pop-up only at this stage. They're permanent restaurants in Australia, but a pop-up is going to come to Auckland somewhere in Mount Eden in August. Mount Eden?

Well, I'm assuming an old restaurant somewhere. Yeah, I'm just trying to think of where it's going to go. So the reason this diner is so popular is because it's called Karen's Diner. And you go along, not for the food. Do you get a haircut when you're there? They shave the back of your hair off? Not for the haircut or the food, but to be abused by Karens. Have you ever wanted to go out for dinner and get abused by the staff at this place?

You can. Out of my f***ing face. Take the green. Hi. Hi, all five Instagram followers. So f***ing sad. You got the vegan burger and you didn't even get chips. You got a salad.

I like salad. Hold on, hold on. This influencer over here got a vegan burger and replaced the chips with salad. Can we all give her a food, please? That's disgusting. I don't think I've ever wanted to work in hospitality until now. Yeah, I was giving that kind of service when I worked across the road from the Beehive, when I worked in the cafe.

Oh yeah. But that was more political, political angles. Yeah, right. Well, so you just go there and get abused by the wait, the wait staff. Yeah, basically. So the pop-up in Auckland, when this happens, you'll be able to get a ticket, I think, for $15. Early bird tickets are on sale now.

Tickets? You'll be able to get a seat in the diner. Wait, so it costs to get in? And then you pay for the food. I guess it's kind of like a show. Yeah, I guess so. Vaughn's out. Vaughn doesn't want to pay the door charge.

I'm not paying the door charge. I don't pay door charges. Back in the day, they used to do like Fawlty Towers restaurants. Yes. All over the place. And similar thing, you'd. Back in the day they used to do like Fawlty Towers restaurants all over the place and similar thing, you'd be abused by the staff. This is great

for recent drama school graduates. Yeah, it really is. Great bit of work. Just go in there, bit of character work, you can just do some accent work. But also a great prank to play on like family that don't know what a Karen Diner is because there's a lot of TikToks where people take their grandparents

and then film their reactions because they don't know. They don't know why they're being abused by the Karens. I can think of so many of my actor friends that will 100% get a job here and thrive. Good venting. Good way to vent your frustrations of the world. Oh, yeah. To not have to You know Put on the pleasant facade

Yeah So just rip apart People's orders as well Yeah Yeah Great How much fun Would that be

Let's go Let's go Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Play ZM Well The best Kardashian, Jenna, is single again.

She's your favourite, isn't she? Kendall's the best. Kendall's the best. Oh, no, she didn't have conservation. Remember that Pepsi ad where she handed the protest to the Pepsi? The Pepsi. And then it was all just like, oh, go home. Everybody, world peace with Pepsi.

Yeah. She's definitely the most, and I say this as a massive fan of all the Kardashians. I love them all. But she's definitely the most like down to earth. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like she's definitely the most humble. And probably the poorest.

As humble as you can be. She's the poorest as well. Is she the poorest? Absolutely. Kourtney's got to be poorer. Kourtney's poor. No, Kourtney's not poor. Kourtney's got to be poorer. Kourtney's poor. No, Kourtney's not poor. Kourtney's poorer than Kendall.

Because Kourtney's been more in the trio of the older sisters for longer. And she's just married Travis Barker, who's got his own riches. But he wouldn't be Kardashian rich. No, God, no. No one's Kardashian rich. Are you Googling? Yeah, Kendall's the poorest. What?

Kourtney, 65. Khloe, 50. And Kendall Jenner, only 45 million. Please understand that we're using the word poor as an absolute joke here. She's the least wealthy. Compared to her little sister Kylie, she is full povo. Yeah, I mean, that's Kardashian povo, 45 mil. Oh, my God, yeah. How embarrassing. My mum's probably thinking of... Cutting her off. Cutting heravo. Yeah, I mean, that's Kardashian Pavo, 45 mil. Oh, my God, yeah. How embarrassing.

Her mum's probably thinking of... Cutting her off. Yeah, cutting her off. Yeah. Get another representative, get another agent. Well, she's single now. Yeah, she's single. She broke up with, I don't know, some sports guy.

Is he an NBA player? Is he an NBA? Sports man. Sure, sure. She broke up with a sports dude. Yeah. And she's back on the gram. Yesterday it was lounging on a sun lounger, completely nude. Now, is she.5-ing?

I think she's.5-ing. She is 100%.5-ing. Is that a point? We've got a confirmation that that's a.5. For those that don't know, when you take a photo on your phone, you can just take it normal, which is zero. That's one. No, that's one.

That's one. One times zoom. And then you can take it times 2.5, but then you can also go 0.05. 0.5. 0.5. Shit, if you went 0.05, you'd be really stretched. Which elongates you. It stretches you out.

Yeah. Because it fisheyes it effectively, so it can make stretches you out. Yeah. Because it fish eyes it effectively. So it can make you look longer. Yeah. Oh my God. I just realized I haven't posted a photo where I point fived. And honestly, I look like a Jenna with these legs. Stand by for Instagram.

Even though it was ages ago and I'm wearing little shorts because it's summer. I mean, she doesn't need to point five. Confirm. Confirm that that's even point five. I feel like we're all coming from a point of we're 0.5 jealous. Yeah, we're 0.5 jealous. I've used 0.5 on you guys enough to know that she's used 0.5.

Excuse me, stop using 0.5 on me. We requested it. You do request it. Fledge requests it. Fledge requests it. This is news to me. You've got to jut your legs out and give it a little 0.5. You've got to put your leg out and.5 it. .5 it and it stretches you a bit.

Do you think that she's.5ing it? I think so. Because there's so much background as well. She's got a lot into one photo. That's the other thing about a.5, you've got to get closer. Here's me.5ing. I've absolutely got to post that. She's 8 foot tall

and she's all leg. I'll tell you who else loves 0.5ing. Real estate agents with their flat listings. They were the original 0.5ers. They were the original 0.5ers. They were the original. Backed themselves right into the corner and then 0.5er. Yeah, and you go around and see the room and you're like,

how is this room so small? It's a 50 square metre house, but they've made it look like an absolute mess. Yeah, they're 0.5ing it. They're 0.5ing it. Also, 0.5ing's great for... For a little bit of downstairs. Not if you've got a lady part.

I don't think you want a.5, you female. I want a long fanny. You know what I mean? That's $2 for the fanny jar. Is it $2 in the fanny jar? Yeah, yeah. But also, if you're a guy, don't.5 portrait. Yeah. No, don't point five portrait. Yeah.

No, don't point five landscape. Because it'll drag it out to the side. Point five portrait. But then that's also misleading because then people come around and they're like, well, I thought it was a bigger room. Yeah, I thought it was a bigger room. I thought it was a bigger. But it would make it bigger in the middle.

Yeah. And then. Oh, a taper. Yeah, it'd have a strong taper. But she is doing that thing that newly single people do. God bless them. Yeah. And then... Oh, a taper. Yeah, it'd have a strong taper. Good Lord. But she is doing that thing that newly single people do. God bless them. Getting out there.

It's like they're starting their advertising campaign again. Yeah. For themselves as a legitimate partner. It's a two-prong attack. It's putting you out there on the single market, saying I'm available, looking fantastic. But it's also showing that person what they're missing. Yeah, what they're missing. Yeah, what they're missing.

Yeah. So I would love to know this morning we were going to be just like, what did your ex do? But we've already had so many responses specifically about socials. But what did your ex's post? What did your ex's put online after you broke up? Now maybe

you broke up with them. And so they were just like maybe there's a bit more of them trying to get back at you maybe you broke up with them. Yeah. Maybe, and so they were just like, maybe there's a bit more of them trying to get back at you if you broke up with them. Yeah. But if they broke up with you and then they got out there, what were they posting? What did your ex post online, anywhere?

TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. Bonus points if it's months later and they got super hot. Yeah, yeah, love that. Are we taking those stories? It's good for them. Absolutely. Yeah, good for them. I remember when I broke up with my boyfriend at the age of 17,

he posted something on MySpace. You know, how you could customise your MySpace profile with all the coding and stuff. And he removed me and it's really still here. What did he post though? He posted something about how we'd always be friends. Where did he break up with you?

Yeah I think he did. It was sort of mutual. Yeah see that's the thing if you're going to break up with somebody you've got to I got dumped. But then

quite quickly was posting about his new girlfriend. Yeah always awkward when they post the new girlfriend and you're like was there an overlap?

Yeah I think there was an overlap. Was there an overlap there? 100% an overlap. Yeah 2.5s. An overlap? Yeah, then there was an overlap. Was there an overlap there? 100% an overlap. Yeah, 2.5s. An overlap of 2.5 to a.25.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, give us a call. 0800 DALS at M is the number. You can text as well, 9696.

What did your ex post online after you broke up? Yeah, some messages. After I broke up with my ex, she posted that I was gay. She told everyone

thinking this would hurt me but she didn't know I had a boyfriend and we were laughing just being like well it's the truth isn't it so come on

yeah truth and I'm happy yeah bye trash I was with my partner for three years and three months

after we broke it up he posted a picture of his new baby his baby mama and his five month old son wait what do the maths here. Do the maths. It certainly doesn't work.

Overlap. Huge overlap. Wow. Huge overlap. Someone said, how long is your show? And I replied, six to nine. Why? And they said, oh, you guys don't have enough time

to go through all the stuff my ex posted there. Oh, we're certainly not working overtime for that. No, but give us a little taster. Give us a little taster. Jess, what did an ex post? It wasn't a post. It was a lovely text message. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So, went to the eight years, have a child, were engaged. And in the end of Jan, he left. And on February 14th, Valentine's Day, I got kind of a little spam of him and his new girlfriend taking lovey-dovey photos together. Wait, when he sent them directly to you? Directly to me, yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah, that was... So he wasn't taking the chance that you wouldn't see a Facebook or an Instagram post. He was going the source. No, no, he accidentally, yeah. Oh, I see. So he Oh, he accidentally sent them. He was supposed to be sending them to.

That's ridiculous. Isn't it? And just, I mean, if you're going to make a mistake like that, just own it. How can you possibly send that many photos? But he never said who he was meant to be sending it to. No, no, no correction. Was he meant to be sending it to? No. No.

No correction. I don't know. Was he trying to send it to her? Does her name start with the same letter as yours? No, it doesn't. No. No excuse. It's poorly decided.

Should he have sent it to somebody else? No. That's on purpose. Terrible. Thanks, Jess. Sarah, what did an ex-post after you broke up? My boyfriend broke up with me and he was not the greatest. He was quite abusive.

And three days later he posted a new profile picture because we're still friends on Facebook at the time. And the caption is onwards and upwards. I don't onwards and upwards me, you arsehole. Downwards and outwards you. Yeah.

Get out of my face Absolutely I had a sort of unfriended You don't need to see that So petty No no But we were still friends With all of the same people

At the time Yeah Oh yeah Okay Yeah Now get new friends New partner New friends

Yep Unfriend Did do that Did do that Married now Thank God Oh yeah Yay

I wasn't upwards I wasn't upwards babe Happy Sarah thanks for your call Some other messages Currently in a bit of a custody battle Thank God. Oh, yeah. So onwards and upwards. Onwards and upwards, babe. Happy New Year. Sarah, thanks for your call. Some of the messages. Currently in a bit of a custody battle with my ex, and she made a whole series about everything happening,

and she put it on TikTok. A lot of it, blatant lies. I hate seeing that kind of stuff on TikTok online. It's so awkward. Just be classy. Yeah, it's not entertainment. These are people's lives. But now she's currently getting prosecuted because of what she posted. It's so awkward. Just be classy. Yeah, it's not entertainment. These are people's lives. No. But now she's currently getting prosecuted because of what she posted.

So this is just a little bit of a warning to keep that stuff private. Is it slander or bloody? What's the thing? Well, there's slander and defamation, but there's also... If it's in a court of law. And there's also online bullying, though, as well. Yeah, true. The Digital Harms Communication Act. Yeah. Good. Keep Digital Harms Communication Act. Yeah.

Good. Keep that stuff for the courts. Yeah. I broke up with my boyfriend in high school and changed my profile picture to one of just me, not with him in it anymore. And he commented, beautiful. And then another comment real quick, but I, oops, sorry, wrong person. Oh.

Oh. Man. Oh. Yeah. Somebody else said, hey, that happened to that caller. That happened to me as well. Oh. Man. Yeah. Somebody else said, hey, that happened to that caller. That happened to me as well. After I broke up with my partner, I started getting a whole lot of photos one night of him and his new partner.

And I was like, what's happening? And they were like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Wrong person. People are so petty. And obvious. Yeah. Not very good actors Terrible actors

They need to go to Twyford County New Zealand Drama School like me This is a weird one This is a real weird one So I don't know why This test was conducted People got a lot of time

On their hands Not a lot of other science To figure out I guess I mean we don't need... We're done. Everything that needs to be cured is cured. COVID, long COVID, if they saw it, cancer.

Global warming. HIV. A lot of people on cancer. A lot of people working at that. Okay, right. Well, this one's about BO, body odor. Oh my God, just on that.

The other day I went to the gym and this guy stank the entire gym floor out with his BO. Like a sour. I feel sorry for people that pungent. Do they not smell? No, because they can't, right? How the hell do you bridge that thing?

And they've got no idea and I do feel sorry for people with it. Whenever I whiff a little, like if I forget to put deodorant on, I'm like, I know instantly. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying is they can't smell it and it's that prevalent. They obviously don't know that it's there. What do you do?

Does the gym just do a PSA, like a bing bong? Just a reminder. Someone smells. Please use deodorant. And everyone listening is like, is that me? Yeah. Can't do anything. Oh my God, it was so bad.

Okay, well, this is your natural, O-natural body odour that they were testing. They have a device called the e-nose that can map odour. And what they did is they took- I find this fascinating. I was thinking about this on a drive recently. One of those drives where I get to where I'm going and I'm like, uh-oh, how did I get here?

Because I'm daydreaming. Oh, yes. Moof. Yeah. I'm home. They'm like, uh-oh, how did I get here? Because I'm daydreaming. Oh, yes. Moof. Yeah. I'm home. They know how our ears work. Yeah. You know, the vibrations and it's air pressure and the vibrations in our brain.

How does the smell work? Yeah, and what is the smell? How come they can't do a smell hearing aid? Oh, yeah, for people that lose their smell. Yeah. Or can they, but nobody wants them. Nobody wants to wear a plug in their nostril. Because I love smells.

Smells such a pleasurable scent. Sometimes. Smelling the roses. Even stuff that smells bad. Food. Oh, what is making that up? Yeah, food smells so good. Oh, onions and garlic with a little bit of butter and a hot pan.

Yum, yum, yum. Smell is so good. So they took 20 same-sex non-romantic friends who reported that when they met, they immediately clicked. Oh, okay. When they first met, they were like, you're my friend, here we go, we're friends for life. Okay.

They chose same-sex non-romantic friends because males and females have such different body odour. We smell like roses. You guys smell like shit. Big pie. Excuse me. Big pie. And what they did is they used this e-nose thing to smell each individual's personal natural body odour.

Yeah. And what they found was that the friends had similar body odours compared to those when they tested them against like a random person who they didn't know and they weren't friends with. That draws them to each other? Yeah. So you're friends with your friends because they smell like you? Because they smell like you. Now tell me why that's related

to cavemen. Because everything's related back to like finding your tribe. Primeval humans, right? I think back in those days it would have been stanky. There was no palm olive. But it would have been like you smell like my cave. You smell like my wet dank cave.

Yeah, you live in the same cave. We live in a similar cave network. I think we've got some sort of sulfur source at the bottom of our cave network. So I know, is that you in the darkness? That's my cave. Yeah, maybe. It's kind of crazy. So they like, even so they did the peers and they looked at them,

they're like very similar odors. And then they were like, just to make sure that they're not making something out of nothing, they totally randomized it and matched them up with other people and then they took away the identification saying like, oh, that's Hayley's body odour, just had it as a number and they partnered up the most likely pairs

and they were the friends. So they were like, it's quite distinctly, you smell like people that you have an immediate connection with. Would you, if they said, we're going to do this body odor test on you, we can tell you what makes your smell up. And then we can tell you what it's the most similar to, and you'll be in that group forever.

Like that's your group. Yes. So, you know, like blue-eyed people. Yeah. The blue-eyed people group. Brown-eyed people. That's a group to do with your eyes. Yeah, yeah. Okay, the smell you present, you're now onions. Yeah.

I don't want to be onions. I know you don't want to be onions. But now once you find out, onions are good, but not just like, you just smell like onions that have been sat in the cupboard. Sweating onions. There's the roses. I'd imagine the roses are the blue eyes because, you know,

not too many people would smell exactly like roses naturally. Yes. And everybody loves blue eyes, right? Blue eyes are there. Am I right in saying that? I don't want to misspeak on behalf of anybody, but blue eyes are odd. Well, people find my poo brown eyes very attractive.

Do they? Hayley, back me up here. Poo brown eyes? Yeah. I've got poo brown eyes as well. Yeah, so you've got lovely eyes. You've got hazels. Yeah, you've got gorgeous eyes.

Thank you. Stunning. A pleasure to look into. It's just two brown-eyed losers comforting each other. I'm a hazel boy. Yeah. Seeing as Vaughn and I are friends, but we were drawn together by work. So we were this arranged radio marriage.

We didn't sniff each other out. But we were drawn together by work, but then we've made it last by our similar smell. But if we had a shower, so we were stripped of deodorant and any smells, would we smell the same? Are we showering together? Just sort of like science.

Any kisses and cuddles in the shower? We want to know that we have the same experience, same water, same shower, same soap, same time in the shower. I think you're forming a different connection. But would we smell the same? I don't know. I don't think we do smell the same

because I can smell you. Right. Is that a good thing? If I could smell you, if you smelled like me, I wouldn't noticeably be like, that person smells different to me. I use a Nivea, you use a Rexona, which I've always hated.

I don't use a Rexona. I've moved to a Speed Stick. Don't even get me started. He's got an old man deodorant stick. What's a Speed Stick? You know, it's like a glue stick. Yeah, I get a click stick, but what's the brand? Dollar Shave Club.

Oh, okay. Of course it is. It's not a paid endorsement. Of course it is. I was going to go under brand. It's just lovely and neutral, and it works better than spray or roll-on. But you both wear cologne as well, so I don't know your natural scents. He's got, what do you call it, twink bait?

It's like a burly trail. He wears, what is it? No, it's a red one. Yeah, red Eros. We've worked out together, so I would have smelt your sweat perhaps more than yours, though we've worn suits together, Vaughan. Yeah, under a hot studio light. We both get quite sweaty.

All right, well, I mean, sniff your friends because they're your friends for a reason. Absolutely. They smell like you. Get your nose right in the pit. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There's concern of a cat protection league. Stop smelling yourself.

I'm just conscious of it now. Now you're me. My Mitchum men. Do you use men's? I use men's. Mitchum men. I'm just conscious of it now. Now you're being... My Mitchum Men. Do you use men's? I use men's. Mitchum Men. Is it stronger? I don't know. I'm just assuming. Yeah, it's just a better. A better antiperspirant. The one they give ladies is like... Is Mitchum's that little short one?

The white one with the green lid? No, I use the 48 Hour Sports Protection. It's odd. I've got high testosterone. If you're just you on the show, we've been talking about smells. Smells. Apparently you make better friends with people who smell the same as you. Which is maybe why Fletcher's best friend is a cat.

Yeah, Major Murray's a lot of people. Because you do smell like friskies. Friskies! You do smell like dry biscuits. Excuse me. It's that meaty dry biscuit smell. Well, I have to have a couple. That is protein for the pussycat.

I have to have a couple with him in the morning from the bowl just to, you know. Yeah, get him started. Get him started. So the cat bridge. By the way, that was a scene with Segway. I don't know if anybody caught that. It was very good. I just feel like I will stop now.

I'm taking notes, Vaughn. I'm taking notes. Point us back to that. I went from smelling like your best friend to Fletcher's best friend's a cat because he smells like a cat onto the British Cat Protection League. But I'm not here to brag about my own skills, but it's important.

If anyone's keeping notes. Oh, I'm keeping notes. I didn't go to radio school, but working with you two is radio school every day. I don't have a Wikipedia page, but I'm just saying if someone were to start it, they would probably fall under that category. The king of segues.

The king of segues. The Cat Protection League has said those funny videos you're making with your cat is borderline abusive. Right. I thought you said I'd be cancelled for exploiting my cat for paid. Well, that's what the headline was. Cat owners are exploiting their pets in social media clips in a bid to become famous. I initially misread it. Yeah.

Classic headline only read of people using their cats for paid posts. Right, because I was just going to say, I've done a couple of the, you know, Major Murray's eating some bickies, he has some cat bickies, but he's just paying his way. He's an expensive cat.

Very expensive. Oh, dude, that cat. He eats and eats and eats. This is what I'm saying. You buy it, you get a cat for a $50 donation from a cat rescue place. These things last forever. They're like the Toyota Corolla of cats. Tell me that now.

You bought a Volkswagen Golf. I really did, and it's blown out every couple of months. Every time it needs a part replaced, it costs you a small fortune. What if a cat gets a UTI, for God's sake? I don't know. A cat that goes to Waikato University. I mean, so the Cat Protection League Saying all those funny videos

Where you're winding your cat up Until it lashes out at you Is actually psychologically damaging Or putting a pickle Putting a pickle behind it And it sees it The cucumber behind the cat They said that's

Pretty much tormenting your cat Because I remember the first time I put up a picture of my My first cat, Karen, and I had a laser light. And I was playing with it. And I got so many messages saying that's really cruel. Why?

It's because it can never catch the laser. And so it's psychologically damaged. Rolly can never catch the screen. It's the cat equivalent of telling your kids to get in the car. And just when they open the door, driving forward a couple of metres, they'll be like, come on, hurry up, get in the car. It's fun. It's fun.

I'm having fun. They're having fun. Someone's foot's about to get run over. Ruin all the fun. The string, they catch the string. Right. But the laser light, they never get it. And I mean, that was their point.

I was like, but it's cute and fun. I didn't know you were an animal abuser. They should try being a Gen Z trying to buy a house. Yeah. They never get it either. They chase it their whole lives. Well, that's the... Every time they get close, we move it forward.

Yeah. Not on my watch. So they're saying there's also the latest trend. I admit it made me laugh, but I didn't think about it. There's a song on TikTok where you start and it's slow and you tap your cat in time to the music. And it increases and you keep tapping your cat and the cat's just had enough

and it like lashes out and attacks you. So they're saying all of these things is effectively like your Guantanamo baying your cat. You've pretty much said this is your Stockholm them and now you're torturing them. Yeah. While they're there. All for TikTok

views. Yeah. And they're saying it's not good. It's not healthy. Okay. And a British veterinary associate, Miss Rogers, said at a live meeting in Birmingham, these owners don't understand. This isn't cool to the cat. Imagine having a human

around to constantly wind up, which is what you are to me. Someone around that you're trying to eventually make them have some sort of blood pressure related breakdown. If you get some content out of it, it's even better. Exactly. Haven't we all just wanted to have a little minty bee, you know? Oh, absolutely. Because Mors has been winding them up for weeks on end.

So I see now. Yeah, that it's bad. That I'm a problem as well, and we've all learnt. What about when I dressed my cat up in a sushi costume? Did he enjoy it? I don't think any cat enjoys any kind of dressing up. No. Okay, right.

All right. Well, bear that in mind. Even dogs. People putting socks on dogs and making them walk. I saw a dog in socks the other day and I'm assuming

that they were in socks because it was cold outside. Yeah, yeah. But it looked so stupid. All those stupid walking shoes for summer. I mean, I get it. Don't burn your dog's paws

but they freak out. Get your dog a nice pair of Crocs. Dog Crocs. Oh, yeah. Slip them on. Well, you could because you can get

little tiny Crocs like for toddlers and stuff, eh? And kids. If you don't love your child. You could. Dog a nice pair of Crocs. Dog Crocs. Well, you could because you can get little tiny Crocs, like for toddlers and stuff, eh? And kids. If you don't love your child. You could totally get a Labrador and a kid's Croc. I got my head out this sunroof. I'm blasting my favorite tune. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the world's longest golf course. Okay. The average golf course on the PGA is six points. So if you walked it in a straight line, not me,

because I always have to go over there. In the water. I'll be over there. And then I've sliced it so I'm going to be back. I'm going to be back over there. And then now I've overshot the green so I'm going to need to go.

I'm going to need to go. Guys, I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to go over there. Yeah. And I'm going to chip it back and think, oh, that's nice. And then putt too hard and go off the green again.

The rest of your group's already back in the club at this point. No, we're already down the scores. I'm like, I'll be there and you guys just carry on. I've only ever played like two or three games on a golf course. I've never played. And one was that one just out of Tupor and I hit it onto the state highway. Oh, did you? And it was problematic.

Yeah, golf courses beside roads. And they always put them at the end of runways. I'm like, this also is problematic. Like Nelson. It's a runway golf course. I'd love to belt a tight list at a bowing. At a bowing. Imagine that.

Just like. I think they call that golf terrorism. Tonk. Imagine being in a plane at the end of a runway. You just take off and then you hear tonk. At 30,000 feet. You're like, that's high for a golf ball. That's a big golf ball.

He's done well there. So 6.6 kilometers if you walked it from start to end. That's the average length. The average. That's the average length. But there is, in Australia, a golf course that is 1,365 kilometers long. What? How many holes? 18 holes. Why is it so long. What? Mm-hmm. How many holes?

18 holes. Why is it so long? It's a par 72. On each hole? Well, technically, golf courses are measured from the start of the first hole to the end of the 18th hole. And this is a golf course where you will play the first hole and then drive 100 kilometres and play the second hole. Oh, right. It's on the side of a highway that runs from South Australia

right into Western Australia. You can start in Kalgoorlie and end at Sedona, or you can start in Sedona and play in Kalgoorlie and end in Kalgoorlie. How long would it take you to do 18 holes? Two weeks. Wow, it's just the... You stop... Do you do a hole a day?

You could, and it would take you 18 days. Is this like some kind of Australian tourism thing? Right, to get people to explore. It was the people to get to explore the air highway. Oh, yeah. Maybe they could do this in New Zealand, you know, the desert plateau.

What's it called? The desert road? Desert road. The desert plateau. There's nothing around there. Where's the desert plateau? Who would pay for this? The desert plateau,

desert road. Can you imagine the bitching and whinging if New Zealand was like, we're going to do this golf course from Cape Brianga to the Bluff? I love that idea.

It's a great idea, actually. Beside the... Actually, it is a great idea. It's a great idea. And people that always bitch and whinge about how tax dollars are being spread out to old white dudes, and you know what old white dudes love? Golf! Golf, they love it. What were you going to say? It started with D.

Dogs. Tell me I'm wrong. They do? Yeah, okay, fair call. They do as long as they're Labradors or Retrievers. Yes. It's a great idea. They should do that. Yeah, and apparently it is like this massive tourist.

I've never heard of it. The Nullarbar Plain is what it all sits upon. Yeah. And it's called the Nullarbar Lynx. Sounds very snaky and crocodile-y. Well, that's what they said. Every hole comes with a warning of the sorts of animals you might come across in a number in the area.

Oh, no, thank you. No, thank you. It's also said that if your ball gets too close to a red kangaroo, just leave that be until the kangaroo hops away. Or any kind of lake. Yeah. Yeah. The fourth hole at Nundrew said this is the

largest population of southern hairy-nosed wombats anywhere in Australia. What if you hit a ball and you're like four and the wombat's like I don't speak English

and then boom. Ball right to the side of the head. Yeah. Dead wombat. Or just dementia. For life. Because it's a head knock.

From head knocks. Yeah, but Alzheimer's. Yeah, so you can still play this golf course if you're driving from Melbourne to Perth. Now all I can think of is a wombat with Alzheimer's or dementia. Walking around. Oh, look at you. What do other animals get?

I don't know. Degenerative. Are you Googling? I mean, cats do. It would be hard to. No, they sort of get kidney failure and blind and deaf. Kidney failure is a big one for a cat. But then they've got that.

Yeah, pets can suffer a kind of dementia called cognitive dysfunction syndrome. Oh, yeah, that's just getting old, right? Yeah. Your brain just stops working. And they're kind of wee in the hallway. Where do we go? That's when you know they're going to disappear. Joey the cat growing up was very wee.

And he got to the end there, he'd walk in circles, meowing. You're going to disappear soon. Joey the cat growing up was very wee-y. And he got to the end there, he'd walk in circles, meowing. Like a swimmer. Yeah, you're okay to talk about this cat? He died when I was 12. Okay, so you're okay now. So some years ago. It's a little fresh.

Okay. Whereas Anakin. No! We don't say his name. We don't talk about him. We don't say his name. Too soon. Okay. Yeah. I don't say his name. We don't talk about him. We don't say his name. Too soon. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to talk about my cancelled... But today's fact of the

day is there is a golf course in Australia with 18 holes spread over 1,365 kilometres. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Day, day, day, day. Not Garner. Just had to give him a Jennifer's straight there. Well, he's never going to say the wrong name, is he? Jennifer.

He primarily sees Jennifer's. He's been screaming out Jennifer his whole life. Yeah. Apart from that part, we're seeing Ana de Armas there for a while. Very short-lived, though. Yeah, probably due to the fact he called her Jennifer. True. Also, the photos and videos of this is from paparazzi,

and Jennifer Garner was, like, she spoke at Congress about how celebrities' children should never be photographed by paparazzi and how dangerously pursued she's been, and they're obsessed with photos of kids. Yeah, very passionate about it. Yeah, but these photos are from paparazzi, so they're still obviously following the Affleck Garner children around. But when your kid

who's 10 years old backs a Lamborghini into a BMW at a car dealership, that's in the public interest. I have so many questions. So this is how it's described. They were a luxury car

rental dealership in LA. 10-year-old Samuel got behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Urus, which rents for $1,475 per day. I don't know much about cars, but a Urus doesn't sound... Urus doesn't sound like a great name. That sounds like something near the urethra or something.

It does sound like a body part. It sounds like it would be internal. A urine organ. A urine uterus. Yeah, yeah. And then to have a luxury car called a Lamborghini Ur urine uterus. Yeah, yeah. And then to have a luxury car called a Lamborghini Urus. It's not, yeah. It's really like a Greek god or something.

Yeah. The Greek god of speed but also urine going wheeze. So if you want to buy one, it'd be a quarter of a million dollars. Jeez. It's pretty ugly. You could definitely spend a quarter of a million dollars better. And so he jumped in while his dad was looking at other cars and somehow knocked it into reverse

and it bumped into a white BMW behind it. I had an image of him like in the car buckling in. Starting it up. Nah, just somehow knocked it in or took the park brake off or something and it just rolled really slowly into the white car behind it. Any damage? No damage reported.

Really? Because after they left, apparently they left all their details and everything and said if anything comes up. But then the paparazzi went and spoke to an employee at the dealership who said, no, he was going so slow, it was so close already, it just didn't do any damage, nothing. Oh, fantastic. A little tap.

Affleck loves cars. Regular customer. Hope they'll pop in again. Oh, lovely. I backed. No, I didn't back. I just straight up drove into the mailbox when I first learned how to drive. It was just before I went and sat my learners, so illegal.

But my dad let me jump in the Lexus. And I... Oh, Jesus. Second hand. Yeah. But my dad let me jump in the Lexus and I... Oh, ooh, la, la. Second hand. Wow. Second hand. Oh, second,

oh, wow. Oh, okay. So poor Rich. Poor Rich. Yeah, poor Rich. We were poor Rich. It'll be a bad year. And my dad let me

drive up and down the driveway and then the first time I just went, boof. Oh, wow. Into the mailbox. That didn't bode well,

did it? Not terrible damage. I think a scratch, you know mailbox. That didn't bode well, did it? Not terrible damage. I think a scratch, you know, nothing worth getting fixed though. Yeah, right. Which is almost worse because then you just have to have a scratch there. Yeah. It's not worth the excess, is it? No. Going through all of that.

That's what we want to ask this morning. When did you crash mum and dad's car? Some terrible stories are going to come out of this. Yeah. And like bonus points as well, if you tried to pass it off as, I don't know how that happened. I'd just park it back in the driveway,

hop back into bed like. Yeah. Oh, we took a year 13, seven form camp as it was known then. Yeah. We went away and I took the Starlet. Yeah. The Toyota,

so that was the car of my parents. What, you didn't have a Lexus? No. No. I'm so sorry. It was a small, quite old even at that stage, Toyota Starlet.

Yeah. Four door though, so it was handy. God, I loved that car. Yeah, good cars. And economical. God, I could do with the back now. Yeah.

I bet you could. And came around a corner a little silly on a gravel road and hit the back of my mate's ute. Zero damage to the ute, as you can imagine, but the starlet suffered quite a bad panel damage.

And how did the parents take that? Well, I told Dad that a German backpacker must have backed into it when we went on one of the walks. Now, that excuse doesn't... Just trading on all the ill feelings towards the Germans after World War II. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this was, of course, just after World War II when I was in school. So, you know, everyone was very angry at the Germans.

Yeah. No, but he didn't believe it for a second. He was just like, no, tell me how it really happened. I'm like, that's what happened. He's like, last chance. Tell me how it happened. I was like, no, that is how it really happened. I'm like, that's what happened. He's like, last chance. Tell me how it happened. I was like, no, that is how it happened. You've got a last chance.

I know, I doubled down on last chance. And then he gave it a day to, you know, marinate. And then he came to me and he said, so how fast were you going when you hit what you hit? And what did you hit? And he looked at me and I was i was like oh he's absolutely good yeah he's good he's worked it out well he was he was a bit of a i would have said i don't know i have to ask the german i was stationary i don't speak german they've got autobahns they're used to going so fast and you know german cars are built well not like these bloody tin cans from japan

all right so all 800 dials at emma's. You can text us as well, 9696. When did you crash mum or dad's car? And bonus points if you tried to cover it up and even getting away with it. Give us a call. We're talking about when you crashed mum or dad's car. How'd it go down?

There are some great stories coming in. So many stories of kids being left in the car alone and taking the handbrake off. Somebody said they were in the car with their brother, their mum left them, and they were parked on a hill, and they were playing like, they were pretending to drive, and then just dropped the handbrake off, and then the car started rolling, and they were like,

abandoned car, and they jumped, and they rolled. They tucked and rolled, which is pretty impressive for a kid to tuck and roll, and just watch the car go down the hill, off, and into a creek. And then their mum came out, and they were just sitting there being like, where's the car? Better than playing with the cigarette lighter. I've done that.

I've still got a scar on the end of my finger. Mum was at Weight Watchers. Yeah, I was always like, it doesn't look hot. Don't out your mum as a Weight Watchers woman. She's not doing any shit. She's doing a little Weight Watchers. So would she put you and your brother and sister in the car with a bag of chips? I don't know. Ironic.

Wouldn't that be ironic? Yeah. The reason I probably need to go to weight watchers now. Enabler. But no, she took my sister in. My brother wasn't there. Wait, your sister was there? And I was in the Falcon by myself.

Weight watchers. No, no, because she was just real little. Oh, right. Okay. She would have cried if mum had left her in the car. Well, you don't go if you're little. You go if you're big. She wasn't, because she was just real little. Oh, right. She would have cried if mum had left her in the car. Well, you don't go if you're little. You go if you're big. She wasn't a problematic.

She would have been fewer. She didn't want to be left in the car, so I said, I'll sit out here. I got a comic, and I put the cigarette lighter, and I pulled it out, and once it stopped being red, I was like, oh, weird. It just burned the end of my finger. She came out, and I was cooling it off in a puddle on the side of the road. What have you done there? I've burnt myself. She's out and I was cooling it off in a puddle on the side of the road. What have you done there? I've burnt myself.

She's like, that's very dirty. Would have worn. And I was like, well, it's the best I could do. You know, a man's in a pinch. Points for improvising, Mum. Yeah, pretty smart, I reckon. But I never let the handbrake off. So I want to take your calls.

When did you crash Mum or Dad's car? Cassie, what happened? Driving Mum's car, going about 20km, watching a truck pull into a driveway and crashed into the car in front of me. Unfortunately, at a pedestrian crossing. On a pedestrian crossing? You're lucky you didn't hit someone.

Were you on your restricted? I was on my restricted. Yeah, okay. Mum was in the car with me and she ended up in an X-ray for 12 weeks. So not only Cassie, you crashed your car. I'm unrestricted. Yeah, okay. Mine was in the car with me and she ended up in a neck brace for 12 weeks. Is it not as nasty? You crash your car. Because I slammed on the brakes, I know.

But you also put them on a neck brace. Yeah, what about the car that you hit? Did you give them a neck brace too? No, they got a ticket for not having any red Joe or Woff or anything like that. Yeah, perfect. You narked on them effectively. You're a big old nark because you weren't following at a safe distance. You narked on them effectively. You're a big old nark because you weren't following at a safe distance.

You narked on them. They weren't too happy, no. Amazing. Cassie, thanks for your call. Heather, did you crash mum or dad's car? The family car. Oh, okay. How bad was it?

Yeah, ugly. It was quite ugly. I was practising my reverse parking for my driver's visa next week. Oh, yes. On the ferry farm, Dad had parked a tractor behind me. The old Land Rover in front was a bit of sheet of corrugated iron. Gorgeous. I'd rattle it.

Yeah. I was doing so well, you know, imagining all the cars coming behind and all that. Looked over my shoulder, cut in too close and drove straight through the corner of the Land Rover. Most things are built like a tank and the old Ford car wasn't. So I finished up with this

really awesome gouged outside. Oh my god! You broke two cars! Oh my god, I feel so... And then I had to go and set my licence up. It was the first thing a cop saw. He goes, oh, how did that happen? So I tried to explain.

But I still passed. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Also, we need to stop mentioning Land Rover and tractors because I think Vaughan's going to get a little bit hot in the collar. Especially when you said, you know, those Land Rovers are well built. I was like, oh, yes, they are. I really feel sorry for those people that take the test. Oh, my God, you know, those Land Rovers are well built. I was like, oh, yes they are. I really feel sorry for those people that take the test.

Oh my God, I know. They would have seen some crashes. Especially when she turns up fresh from a crash. Heather, thanks for your call. Some other messages in. Somebody said, I was driving Dad's car, driving on the motorway for the first time, and he said to me, you got another gear there?

Because I was in fourth. Oh, yep, yep. Someone said that to me the other day. gear there? Because I was in fourth. Oh, yep, yep. Someone said that to me the other day. I was like, I didn't know you had five gears. Yeah. Rude. Chuck her up to the fifth. I think they just didn't want me ringing out their car.

Well, that's what dads are famous for saying. You got another gear there. So I looked at the gear stick, but then grabbed the handbrake and ripped it up. Jeep. On the motorway, going 95, just spun. Jesus Christ. Spun multiple times, hit the meeting barrier,

flipped the car, came to a stop on the roof and dad said, are you all right? Jesus, that's dad's fault. You've got another gear there. Imagine being the dad. You've got another gear there.

Thinking, they don't know everything and then they reach in and just like, ah! That's so bad. Spin jump on the roof. Everybody survived.

Car was completely written off. Good Lord. So many of these. I crashed my mum's car right through our garage with her in it while practising going up and down the driveway. I put my foot on the accelerator instead of the brake, went straight through the door. Would have ended up in the pool if it hadn't been for two mountain bikes,

the deep freezer, dad's lawnmower, and golf clubs jam ended up in the pool if it hadn't been for two mountain bikes, the deep freezer, dad's lawnmower, and golf clubs jamming up under the wheels, meaning the wheels were off the ground. Oh, imagine parking in the pool, learning to drive. Where'd you park the car? Oh, just out the back.

It's just... Whereabouts? Just have a look at the pool. Someone said, my sister crashed into our house while learning to drive and said, I'm never driving again. And all these years later has never driven.

Wow. Got scarred by it. Someone said, my parents were in Fiji. I used their car to go to uni, crashed on the way back, got written off. I told them I got stolen. This is the thing about it being stolen. No, because then they're going to go to the police. Well, then do you just, when that happens, do you just get out and run away? Maybe.

In your mind, you're like, well, I'm going to say it's stolen. So you get out and you run away. Yeah. And you get home somehow. And then you're like, oh no, the car got stolen. Someone said, I was 18 years old. Dad said to me, use my wagon to drop off some boxes for work. I said, Dad, I want to use my own car. He said, no, the wagon is the work

car and it's bigger. Use the wagon. And I in a grump said, fine, I want to use my own car. He said, no, the wagon is the work car and it's bigger. Use the wagon. And I in a grump said, fine, say goodbye to your stupid car then. Fifteen minutes later, I rode it off when I crashed on the Auckland Harbour Bridge and caused a massive afternoon crash. That would be the most embarrassing place to ever have a crash.

Any kind of tunnel as well. Or a breakdown. If I break down on the Harbour Bridge, I would find a superhuman amount of strength to push it up to the top just so I could free coast down the other side. I think if you were to run out of gas on the Harbour Bridge or in a tunnel, you get charged.

You do. With reckless driving in a way because you should have known you don't have enough petrol to get across. It was 250 bucks, but that was some years ago, so it might even be more now if you run out of gas on the Harbour Bridge.

Oh, well. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.