ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 28th March 2022

Episode Date: March 27, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee available now at Macca's. Did you just sniff your armpit? Yeah, I just got a smell of like, you know when you've been cooking in a hot kitchen and there's that grease that gets in your clothes?

Yeah. I smelt that. What do you, do you smell like chips? I smell like whatever that hot little, let's call it a breakfast burger that I just had. Oh, that looked delicious. That's really good. Yeah, mushroom halloumi. It's day one of me being good, and I've already had a little burger.

You've got to ease into it, though. So it's going well? Yeah. It's going well. Soft launch. Did you say soft launch? Soft launch. Soft launch of my being good week.

First day back in the studio post-COVID Yes, welcome back Thank you I'm now permanently disabled with long COVID Yes What is your long COVID? Well, I don't know I've just, like, I went for a walk yesterday

From my place into the city Which is not far 500 metres 10 minutes And I had, like, a real, like, tightness in my chest Shit, you've got to be careful You've got to be careful I've got to be careful. You've got to be careful. I'm not rushing into the gym.

And that's the thing like all these rugby players that have had it, all the super rugby camps and then they're back playing. It's like dudes. I don't know how some of them. Yeah. And it's weird because, and this is what I noticed when I had COVID, is so many messages from people like, what can I expect? Like people are terrified of it.

Oh, yeah. And right inside, they're like, you know, how? Like, people are terrified of it. And right inside, they're like, you know, how did you? But everyone is different. I feel okay with getting it now, timing-wise. Because you've got all your events out of the way. I've got all my social events out of the way. But we talked to Guy Montgomery, who had COVID, and he said, if you can try to avoid it, do.

I would say the same thing. Because it's not enjoyable. I'll just hurry up, get out of the way situation. If it can be avoided, I'm going to do my best to avoid it. I even know fit, like young, healthy people that couldn't even get up the steps to their house. It's knocked them. Like absolutely knocked them. But yeah, for me, it just felt like a bad cold.

I'm glad you're okay. And then the breathing. So, well, I mean, what if I'm not though? And the brain shrinkage. And my brain shrunk Yeah You can tell today Erectile dysfunction

Well I don't know I don't believe so You don't know You haven't tried You said you had 10 days 10 days off And you didn't try Okay no

There's no That's not an issue Still working That's still working Wow I mean Working is a loose term But it hasn't got any worse

Sure It's not worse than what it was Or let's just leave that But first day back And the mail room Working is a loose term, but it hasn't got any worse. Sure. It's not worse than what it was. Well, let's just leave that. But first day back in the mailroom, treats. Yeah, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. For the cat. Yeah. What are they?

I have to order my cat a special dietary supplement. What's wrong with Major Murray? Well, so he's got nuggety. He's a precious little puss. Dietary supplement What's wrong with Major Murray? He's a precious little puss So he used to have real hard Nuggets of poop So I'd clear out his litter tray And they're almost like rabbit Droppings. Like pellets. Yeah

And very hard because he eats dry biscuits What are you poking them? Or you can just tell they're hard? No I can tell they're hard Because they roll around when you clean them up. Oh, you try. So anyway, every now and again there'd be, there was some blood. So I took him to the vet and the vet's like, well, maybe he needs more fiber. So I have these pellets that I have to order in.

Is there psyllium husk in them? There is. He's kiwi fruit. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ. You know where this has never happened? Where? Oh, my cat is dead. RIP. I don't want to talk about it. You don't want to talk about? Where? On my cat that's dead.

R.I.P. I don't want to talk about it. You don't want to talk about it. On a moggy. He cost $50. He never needed any shit pills. I know. And our other cat that was a rescue cat where I think we just paid to have him de-sexed.

He also doesn't need assistance to take a shit. What about Carl Wayne at the social media desk? Her mum has a fancy cat. She has to wipe its bottom. Yeah. It's a step too far for me. Does she have to wipe it? It licked their own bottom. Does she has to wipe its bottom. Yeah, that's a step too far for me. Like, does she have to wipe it? They lick their own bottom.

Does she have to wipe the cat's bottom every day? Not every day, but quite frequently. Olive does, in fact, need a little butt wipe. Olive needs a little wipe. Olive, my butt wipes, please. I knew someone with a couple of rag dolls. They had to do the same all the time. No, you've got to get a cheap rescue cat that's been dumped in a plastic bag on their doorstep.

You know what I mean? It was moments away from being chucked into a creek in a Hessian sack. Like, it's seen shit. It wouldn't dare do a bad shit. It's just grateful to be alive. Yeah. Yeah. It'll eat a bloody old boot if it's hungry enough, and it'll shit out a beautiful soft poo from it.

To be fair, I don't have to deal with my cat's poo. So I've got an outdoor cat. He deals with it himself. So you've still got the tray. And even if our cat came in with poo, anyway, I'd say, God's sake, sort yourself out. And I think he would. He'd apologize profusely.

You don't want to talk about it. My mother-in-law's cat got so obese, he couldn't reach his own assse to clean up after himself. Oh, jeepers. So that was a wiping situation as well. No, they shaved. He got started getting dags. They shot him.

They shot him. They started getting dags, so they shaved around the anus. Right, a noose. So he had a beard. He had a shaved anus. Why are you finding that so funny? She said, and I shit you not, Sade rang her and said, what are you up to?

And she said, I've just been shaving my pussy. Now that's what she said. Oh my God. Sade was like, mum. And she was like, he, he, he, I know what that means. And we're like, yeah, of course you know what it means. You're not a thousand years old. Oh no.

Shaving her pussy to stop her getting dags. That's my mother-in-law, everybody. That's why everyone does it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. That's my mother-in-law, everybody. That's why everyone does it. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Welcome back to the studio, Fletch.

Good to be back. Back in studio, pushing buttons. Good to see that nobody's stolen my COVID, Kitty. No. No. We're an honest folk. Not a dime was taken. We're a simple folk, but we're an honest one.

What are you going to, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? I don't know. How much is there? About $35.10 because someone paid $10 over. I feel everybody's looking at me like I should shout morning tea. Will you be declaring that to the IRD? You don't have to.

It's a winnings. It's a lottery winnings in the office sweepstake. I filled out a receipt. Did you? Yeah, I'm claiming it on my end. Yeah, I invoiced on my end, so you probably just be wise. What does internal affairs say about a workplace sweepstake? Like the Melbourne Cup.

Remember, it was like you could... It's got to be under a cent an hour. It was under $1,000 or something. Oh, we're fine. This is $36 or $35 or whatever it is. $35.10. $35.10, yeah. I'd run it over

with the accountant. Yeah, I'll run it by you. Okay. Yeah. Well, it's nearly the end of the financial year too. I've got three days to spend this money.

Otherwise, it'll be next year's money, won't it? Oh, it will be, actually. I think we might be popping over to the cafe after this. Sure. Yeah, you've got to

get that spent, baby. Better spend it. All right, coming up on the show, our silly little poll. And today, our silly little poll is dealing with dining in or taking away.

I feel so passionate about this one. Especially if you're driving and everyone's just like, just go through the drive-thru. And you're like, yeah, but when am I gonna eat my delicious burger and fries?

I've gotta drive. I hate that. While you're like, yeah, but when am I going to eat my delicious burger and fries? I've got to drive. I hate that. While you're driving. Yeah. I'd just rather dine in. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. Well, we can debate this soon.

New Zealand, it's pretty one-sided, to be honest. I'll still let it all pull. The top six is coming up. Yeah. The mayor of the Ruapehu district has said, oh, what volcano? Yeah, what are you not worried about? Don't worry about it. It's going to be all good, prepped for a wonderful ski season.

Well, they did upgrade the alert, didn't they? Yeah, they did. She's heating up. On what grounds is he saying don't worry about it? Has he done his own research? You're being bloody panic turkeys. Oh, right. I think he's saying it's been this before.

Yeah, don't worry. It's not an imminent eruption, is it? Yeah. It's the level. So I've got the top six other things. Yeah, yeah, just don't worry about it. All right. What are you guys all getting all worked up about?

Don't worry about it. Joining us on the phone, a couple of guests today on the show. Gail. A-B-C-D-E-F-U. Yeah, Gail, Gail. Gail, Gail. 17-year-old Gail. She's going to join us on the show this morning, 10 to 8.

And joining us before 7 this morning, very soon on the show. James Musterpick. He's got a new show on TVNZ On Demand. Looking back at all the pop culture moments in New Zealand. Bit of nostalgia, like former Idol winners. Like, where are they now? Yeah, episode one's all about NZ Idol. All right, so he's joining us for a quick chat about that before seven this morning.

Next on the show, I've got the list of New Zealand's sexiest and least sexiest cities. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Once again, the perfect song to lead into a very sexy little article. I've got my hot little hands here. I've got the list of New Zealand's sexiest and least sexy

cities. Now, to be fair, this is based on the sale of pleasure products. Pleasure products? That's a good way of putting it. That's a really good way of putting it. Yeah, adult fun toys. Adult fun toys. Pleasure products. Yeah, but then you could be,

anything could come under a pleasure product, couldn't it? Absolutely. Like a lilo, a pool floatie. No, no, no, no. Specifically. I've got a buy on you on my ride on lawnmower where you pull the switch to engage blades. That's not a pleasure product. That's not a pleasure.

Oh, when I can re-engage blades or disengage blades again, that is going to be great pleasure. But the kind of pleasure I'm talking about? I mean, you could take the old one and use the old pull knob and use it for something pleasurable. Actually, Vaughan does have a point. You could on a right on the right. Okay, okay. Oh, no, well, it's on the right on the right spot.

That's probably how the switch got bloody broken in the first place. Too rough with the vibrator. Don't be too rough on your mower like that. Well, this is from a sexy, fun time, toy place Love Honey, who took the postcodes of all of their online buyers and deliveries

and worked out who are the sexiest cities in Auckland. In New Zealand. And who the least sexiest are. Where the New Zealand honey industry went over the top. Love are. Where did the New Zealand honey industry went? Love honey. No, love honey.

I've never heard of this. It's a British business originally. Sells pleasure craft. Pleasure craft. Yeah, like boats and such. Pleasure toys, lingerie and erotic gifts. There you go. So the top 10 sexiest cities in New Zealand.

And number 10, Palmerston North. I would put that more under bored. Yep. Also wanting to pass the time. Bored than sexy. Could explain the next sort of few on the list. Number 9, Dunedin. Students. Cold. Yeah, cold. Gotta warm up. Gotta warm yourself up. Number 8, Gore. Gore, you good thing.

Number 7, Whakatane. Okay. Absolutely loving pleasure products. A summer, whakatane. Okay. Absolutely loving the pleasure products. The summer in whakatane are beautiful, but I've never been in winter. Does it get a little windy? I don't think pleasure products are weather dependent. No, but I'm just saying you spend all your time outside. Yeah.

In the beautiful Bay of Plenty. You're driven inside. Look at the work outside. Beg your pardon? You just watch How you're describing your lovecraft there Number 6 is Blenheim Number 5 is Motueka

Number 4, Kittikitty You sexy wee things Where's your Hamilton's Where's your Wellington's Number 4, Kittikitty Number 3, Wellington And then, number 2, Wanaka And Number three, Wellington. Okay. And then number two, Wanaka. And number one, Queenstown.

You know why all these rich white ladies are retiring to Queenstown and their husband's golf. Yeah. Fly fishing. They've just discovered the Satisfyer Pro 2. Yeah. And they'll have four of them. And they'll have four of them.

You've got to have them on charge and rotating. No, one in your car, one in your hand bag, one in the side drawer. She rings her husband to see what time he's going to be home. He's like, I've only just started the back nine. And she's like, that's actually a bloody fantastic idea. That's actually good news to me. So the top ten least sexiest cities. Richmond.

That's in Nelson, yeah. Oh. Christchurch. Dusty, aren't they? Yeah, number nine, Christchurch. Oh. Hamilton is number eight, yeah. Old. Christ Church. Dusty army. Yeah, number nine, Christ Church. Oh. Hamilton is number eight, least sexiest. Number seven is Hastings. Rotorua, number six. Havelock North, number five.

Rotorua, you just go old school, don't you? Oh, manual. Yeah. Geothermal. Yeah, absolutely. Not a bad idea. You've got that energy. Steam it up.

Yeah. Steam the vagina. I won't go there. It's going to see you hover. You can sort of hover around the geysers. Whoa. Number four, Lower Hutt. Okay.

I'm shocked by this as a hut girl myself. Number three, Auckland. Prudes. Yeah. Is this like, I'd love to know the maths on how they work this out. Well, it's the least amount of sales in that area. Right. And Auckland's the hugest population point. So you'd out. Well, it's the least amount of sales in that area. Yeah, right, and Auckland's the hugest population point,

so you'd think. Oh, yeah, but is it done by... Percentages. Percentages. Yeah, but also we've had lockdowns for a while and everyone got their toys then. First time around. Yeah.

Yeah, I wonder if Auckland's on this list because we're years ahead. We've already bought them. Yeah. They're well broken in at this point. Number two, Porirua, and number one, Mosgill is the least sexiest city in New Zealand.

I just paid him through Mosgill. That's not a huge surprise though, right? A lot of horses though. Dunedin was on the list though. They were on the sexy list.

They're probably getting it sent to their friends in the city so that their neighbours don't find out. And they don't pay rural postage. Yeah, that's a good one

actually. Save a few dollars. That's smart actually. Yeah. Rural postage. Yeah, that's a good one, actually. Save a few dollars. That's smart, actually. Yeah. In the HBO box. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, rumours are that Apple could be moving to the option of a subscription for your iPhone, for hardware.

What? So rather than... I don't understand. I don't understand. Yeah, so rather than... Kind of like you do when you get it from... Pretend I'm your mum. Kind of like you do when you buy a phone from like Spark or Vodafone.

You know, you pay. Say telecom. So I'm being your mum still. Yeah. So clear. I'm playing, I'm on clear. You're on clear. You're on clear.

You're on Saturn. Yeah, yeah. You've just got to. That's a Wellington joke. Vaughn's actually still on boost. I'm on boost mobile. Love if you will. I still get my monthly call from Savage and the Decepticons. Oh, good.

That was part of my Boost promise in 2002. Well, hang on. Because it's rumours, Apple haven't officially announced anything. Yeah, the rumours are that it'll be a subscription just like Netflix or our friends at Neon. A subscription to what? What do they give you? The phone. So you pay $30 a month and every year you just get pumped. Well, every

two or three years you get pumped a new iPhone. Yeah, it would be like over 12 or 24 months the price of the phone divided up, but then with options by the sounds of it to upgrade when there's a new phone. So it's like a higher purchase situation. But I don't think you ever own the phone in this regard.

I would say it's more like tithing to a church. You're just giving them all this money. So they'll just send you the new phone and then you'd pay it off monthly. But I don't think you're paying it off because you'll never get the phone at the end of it by the sounds of it. So when you get the back phone, you send it back. Because I keep mine in case I smash. I lent you one of my old ones. Yeah, you did.

When yours was broken. But then also, what if you've got a subscription phone and you drop it and the screen's buggered? There's going to be some kind of insurance search. Man, I would say if you do get one and you're like, and it gives you that AppleCare Plus. Yep.

And what is it, $160? Yes. And you're like, No, you've got to get it. You get two free screen replacements and I've used both of them. And it would have cost me about $1,200. Yeah, like the latest iPhones,

smartphones with screens can be like $700. Yeah.,200. Yeah, like the latest iPhones, smartphones, the screens can be like $700. Yeah. $800. Oh, dear. Yeah, crazy. Yeah, I got AppleCare Plus on my Apple Watch and I've used it. Yeah.

And I will use it again. Yeah. Well, apparently it's a thing. Because you think buying the latest iPhones outright can be like nearly two grand. Well, that's why lots of people like tack it onto their... Plans.

On their plans. Yeah. So it'll be like that. It'll be like a plan at like Spark or Boost Mobile or... Oh. Yeah. And what are they trying to do?

They're trying to get some more money out of us? Absolutely. And lock us in forever. Yeah. Yeah. Our silly little poll today. Do you prefer to dine in or take away? I'm conflicted by this. But we're obviously talking just fast food, right?

Yeah. Right. I'm in a minority here. I know it. Already I know it. Or do we fast food only? Fast food only. Your McDonald's.

Yeah. And the likes. Where there's a drive-thru, right? Yeah. Okay. Do you prefer... Okay, this changes things for me. Yeah.

Because I love to be waited on. But that's not happening. That's not happening to Mackie D's. Oh, what? No, remember they started doing table service. Oh, yeah, if you order on the machine. You order on the machine, they bring it to you. I went to Mackie D's at the weekend.

Yeah. My wife's away and this is what I want to get my children for breakfast. I really had like all the hot notes of like favorite parent at the wedding. And I ordered at the machine, but they weren't doing the table. Oh, okay. They were just doing the takeaway. Oh, right. But the drive-thru line was insane.

And that's when I'll go in. I'll always do drive-thru. And it's about eating in, right? Or taking a loss. That's how I saw this. No, no eat-ins. Yeah, no, I'm not an drive-thru. But then it's about eating in, right, or taking a walk. That's how I saw this. No eat-ins. Yeah, no, I'm not an eat-in. I'd rather eat in because I don't want to, even though I live close,

I don't want it to get cold. Just eat in. No, but I eat immediately in the car with great danger. I would take away, like, say I got Thai or Indian, I'd take that home because it's in the containers. Oh yeah, I wouldn't eat that in the car. You're going to end up with a Rogan Joshua all up in your lap. I have eaten a curry in the car once.

Was it in one of those shallow flat or? Like a shallow flat. Because if it was in a deep bowl, like a soup takeaway, soup container, I reckon I could do a curry in the car. Yeah, then not. I sort of had it sitting next to me with the curry and the rice, and at every light, I'd just have a little spoon, spoon. Every light? I couldn't wait.

I was starving. So you were driving. You weren't just parked up. You were doing stop, start driving with a curry on your seat. No, see, I could understand the open road where you're going to sit at 100 and cruise control it. No, the car was an absolute mess afterwards. You live dangerously. I do, too dangerously.

How long did your car smell of the... It still does. Yeah. It's in it. It's in the leather. No, I haven't... When it comes to fast food, I love a drive-through. But yeah, if the line's really long, you go in, but then you get back in your car.

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. But what about when you're with friends and the driver is like, let's eat in. And everyone is like, no, just drive through. We want to get to where we're going. Yeah. That's not fair. No, as the driver, you've got to eat and drive. No, because I like to dip my fries into the sweet and sour.

You're never driving. You're never driving. So you're a nuggy, chippy dipper. Yeah, yeah. So you can't have dips and things because you need the steering wheel to factor it. It's more the fact that I just want to eat it before it gets cold. Yeah, same. So I'll eat it.

I don't mind that. Should we get some now? But I'm in a minority. You could ask them to pump the sauce into a small cup, and then you could dip and use it in the cup holder. You still got to put it in there. Yeah, I guess so. Pump some sauce into a small takeaway cup.

So 38% of people said they'll dine in. 62% of people opting for takeaway. That's a bigger portion of diner-inners than I imagined. Sarah says you dine in so if you finish and you're still hungry, you can order more and you haven't driven away. Oh, my God. Because you always want an extra Sunday. No.

See, Sarah, I would never leave. You always need an extra cheeseburger. Yeah. Because then you'd finish and you'd be like, I'll go get a cheeseburger, but I'll get some puds as well, and you get a sundae. Rebecca said, I don't want other people to watch my shame. I want to be able to drive away with my precious and stuff it in my face like a pig without anyone judging.

Oh, yeah. How much of it's that? Yeah. Sometimes I love a private binge in the car. Yeah. There's absolutely no shame in a private binge in the car. And then you've got to get home and chuck in the wheelie bin and then put some other stuff on top of it.

Yeah. It's always cold by the time you get home, says Kat. She's obviously not an eater and a driver. You see, I'm with Kat. But then if it's delivered, it's a different story. I'll shame-eat it at home. No, delivered. It's the same.

Not the option. Same time, yeah. In fact, sometimes it can be waiting longer. Yeah. But again, it's the same. Not the option. Same time, yeah. In fact, sometimes it can be waiting longer. Yeah. If they're faffing about. If you can get there, you get there. Danielle says, who are all these people saying takeaway? Dine-in means no dishes, no mess or anything to clean up.

Dine-in every time. Yeah. No dishes? What, you're going home and putting your cheeseburger on a plate? No, you eat it out of the wrap. The wrap is the plate. Yeah. The bag is the plate.

It comes in a plate. Yeah. The bag is the plate. It comes in a plate. Yeah. And Stacey says, because hubby adds heavy mayo to everything. It's much easier to do at home or in the car. See, if I thought it was going double on the mayo, you'd eat at the restaurant. Because if you ate in your car, the mayo drip out the bottom. It's almost certainly going to lead to an oily stain on your crotch. Yeah.

Hard to explain an oily stain on the crotch. It is. Never really comes out. Can't get it out. No. I've got a good spray for that. There's a grease spray one in the laundry aisle at the supermarket. I've got a lot of greasy crotches.

I spilled that pizza cheese on my T-shirt. Nothing. And it didn't come out for like three washes. And then I was at the supermarket and there's a spray that's for grease and you go five minutes

max and then in the wash pizza grease gone grease gone off the t-shirt wow oh my god what is this miracle product

I must have I can't remember the name Cleanivia Luke Newton John what yeah Olivia Newton John got into because she removes grease.

Sprays. Clean Olivia. Clean Olivia Newton John. I knew this the first time I'd seen it out loud. You know how you plan to say something in your head and then when it comes out your mouth's like, we should have practiced this. You haven't put enough thought into it. Clean Olivia Newton John to get rid of all your

grease stains. Olivia Newton Clean. She's got stains that are not multiplying. This is such a crap campaign. Clean Travolta. We've spent too long on this gag. James

Mustapik's new show is streaming now on TVNZ On Demand. It's called Abandonment Issues. James Musterpig, you are one of the funniest men I know, I'm going to say that, and I stand by it. Very kind, thank you. And anything you want to say back to me? Yes, I think you're a talented presenter.

Wow, James Musterpig, you know that hits me where it hurts. We've got good rapport, James and I, just kidding. Wow, James Musket, you know that hits me where it hurts. We've got good rapport, James and I. I mean, yeah, well, it's definitely one-way rapport. How do you? Now, James, you're a very funny man, and now you've got a show on TVNZ On Demand called Abandonment Issues. Tell us a bit about what the show's about.

Cool. So it's basically I was obsessed with early 2000s NZ pop culture like Drew Nemia, Dana Rumble and all those amazing people. And so it's a look into where they are. And so I

revisit what they did in the past and then I try and track them down basically. Track them down. So you're talking about long-running dronemia, how do I politely put this, obsession. Correct. Has he, you know, asked for this to cease at any time or does he enjoy this sort of attention?

Absolutely not. I think he's blocked me on almost every platform. Oh, James. But I think, you know, I think he'll come around. Well, yeah, I guess if I got a restraining order, that would also be exciting. Did you get your hands on Ben Lummis? Yes, I did.

Yeah, that's the first episode. Do you know a fun fact? My brother, who is also a musician, he used to flat with old Michael Murphy. Oh, amazing. Yes, we got Michael for the episode as well.

Where does this obsession come from? Well, I had no friends when I was growing up. So I was, you know, I just loved watching TV and there was no like YouTube or TikTok when we were kids.

So TV, you know, TV Bloody 2 was our only channel, you know, basically. So I was obsessed. Where did you grow up? Where in New Zealand did you do your childhood? Dunedin. Dunedin. I always find it strange when people are from Dunedin because they're not a student.

Do you know what I mean? It's where you go. Yeah, you go to Dunedin. You're not from... It's like when people say, I was born in Queenstown. I'm like, no, you go on holiday to Queenstown. No one's from there. No one's from Dunedin. You travel to Dunedin to get drunk and study, then you leave.

Yeah, no, that's true. It's pathetic, frankly. No, just kidding. I love Dunedin. Were you a fan of Squirt? Wasn't that made in Dunedin? The CGI penguin. You've launched many careers, Ryan Ingalls, Matt Gibb. Don Bowden. Don Bowden.

Yes, yeah. We've got an episode on kids' TV shows. A bit of Squirt content in there. Oh, okay. Easy now. So you also, so you deep dive into some like historical New Zealand

pop culture moments, but you also have some guests on the show. I'm seeing some names here. Suzanne Paul, Natural Glow, Thousands of Luminous Fears, Jason Fafoi, Petra Beggis, Ray O'Leary, Mel Bracewell,

a bunch of comedian friends in there. Yeah, each episode kind of has like a main focus of like one show or one. But Suzanne Paul has her own episode. We're doing a TV ads episode. She's the star of that one. Do you suck up a bowling ball with a vacuum cleaner?

Yeah. No. Well, there's lots of good content in there, though. Did you touch on the classic New Zealand jingle? I mean, we've got... Oh, good. Good, good, good, good, good.

Love a look into a jingle. Mm-mm. Yeah, the folks from down the path really know our genes. Oh, we can't get sudden jingles. We're daring

to get sudden jingles. So how many episodes are in this? Because episode one is out. This looks at New Zealand Idol. Yeah, we've got

six episodes. Oh, six. Six is good. got six episodes. Oh, six. Six is good, six is good, six is good. Fantastic. We're so excited to watch them all, James. You're a hilarious man, and I'm sure this is going to be an awesome project. Well done.

Oh, thanks so much, guys. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. They breed him tough down on the central plateau, National Park there. Ruapehu had its warning level popped up a little bit, level two. And Don Cameron, the local mayor, say, don't worry about it. I'm checking.

There's no smoke coming out. We're all right. What, did he go up and poke his nose in and go, nah? Just look. No smoke. Yeah. No smoke. and poke his nose in and go, nice. Just look. Nice, mate. Yeah. Nice, mate. But then do you remember,

was it a few years ago that a hiker lost a leg when it erupted suddenly because the gas was... Remember that? And some rocks came out and it hit a hut and someone lost a leg?

What year was that? Oh. I want to say like 10, 8 years ago. 10, 7. The main thing they referenced in this story was, oh, 2007, we had an eruption, no economic effect other than having to strengthen the bridge,

which needed to be done anyway. Shit, I love this attitude. That bridge was almost bloody putt. We got a new bridge, that was pretty good. The old crater like heats up every now and again. It does. It gets a bit hot. It does.

So, 95, 96 was the last, like, big proper eruption. I remember that. That was crazy. Yeah, me too. That was like ash on the car, I remember. Yep, there was ash on the car, and we lived well north. But it was a little bit exciting. So, he's like, don't worry about it.

So, I've got the top six other things. I don't reckon you guys should worry about either. Well, you don't have to be a worrywart and start your Monday with a worry. Number six on the list of the top six things not to worry about if someone knocks on the toilet door while you're doing a poo. Oh, God. No, that sends me into an absolute panic. Don't worry about it.

I think if that happened at my house when I live alone, I'd be very, very worried. Yeah, you should be worried. I would be worried. I don't even shut the door. No, why would you? Well, you'd be able to see the burglars or the ghosts or whoever's knocking on your door. Polite burglars have a little knock rather than just coming in. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six things I don't reckon we worry about. I don't reckon we get too worried about this global warming. You like it when it's warm, don't you? Don't you like warm? Yeah, and also it was a little bit chilly this morning. Where was your global warming then? So what global warming. You like it when it's warm, don't you? Don't you like? Yeah, and also it was a little bit chilly this morning. Where was your global warming then?

So what global warming? Exactly. Try not to let it worry you. Try not to warm. 40 degrees warmer than normal in Antarctica, but it is a bit of... Chilly,

chilly out west, I'll tell you what. And didn't an ice shelf break off at the weekend? Big one. Yeah, big one. Big one. But don't worry about it,

it'll be melted by the time it gets here. We're not going to have... That iceberg's not going to Titanic New Zealand or anything, you one. But don't worry about it. It'll be melted by the time it gets here. We're not going to have, that iceberg's not going to Titanic New Zealand or anything, you know, so don't worry about it. Number four on the list

of the top six things not to worry about. I don't reckon you guys should worry too much about super smart apes with the strength of an ape but the smarts of a very intelligent human.

You reckon? I don't reckon don't worry about it because if it happens, it's going to happen. So what can you do? You can't get all wound up about it.

There's more about it. Yeah. Sort of a sense of resolve. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. If it happens, it's going to happen. So what can you do? There's more about it. Yeah. Sort of a sense of resolve. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. If it happens, you know, that's just how evolution works. If it happens, they deserve it. 100%.

We should have been smarter. We should have been. We shouldn't have put the brain, made them super smart brains. Indeed. Because they're still always powerful. Number three on the list of the top six things I don't reckon it's worth worrying about. I don't reckon you guys

should worry too much about Judgment Day. Be it the Robot Judgment Day or the Religious Judgment Day. Oh, what's the Robot Judgment Day? Terminator. Terminator.

Oh, of course, yeah. They just nuke us all. I mean, the super smart apes will be pissed because they just got out and they're super smart. Yeah. I mean, nuclear weapons

are going to obliterate them as much as they do anybody. But I don't reckon they'll worry about it. Don't worry about it. Oh, and them as much as they do anybody. But I don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Oh, and the religious ones, I don't know. I don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Yeah. It's too late now. Don't worry about it. Number two on the list of the top six things not to worry about on the next COVID strain. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about that. Deltacron. Yeah, don't worry about Deltacron. Sounds quite bad, though. I've got to be fair. Yeah, it's really bad. Maybe a little bit of worry. Yeah, but don't worry about it.

And number one on the list of the top six things not to worry about, giant mutated nuclear-powered lizards. Now, I don't want anyone worrying about that. What if Russia nukes Europe? Yeah. Or the lizards. Or Fukushima, because there was an earthquake there last week, and they were worried about another tsunami hitting the Fukushima nuclear plant.

Of course, we all know when that happened in the 50s, Godzilla. We only just got that taken care of. But I don't want anyone worrying about giant, mutated, nuclear-powered lizards, okay? Yeah, good. You've got enough on your plate this week. I don't want anyone worrying about that. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. A poll was conducted in America asking people what their favourite vegetable was. The big issues. It's the big issues, you know what I mean? We need to know. We've got to know what people are eating. Potatoes are technically a legume.

Right at the top were potatoes. Oh, I was going to say. Okay, so potatoes do count. They're up there. Potatoes, lettuces, onions, carrots were up there. But taken the top spot. Mushrooms are a fungus. Oh, God, I love mushrooms.

They've been my number one. But they're in the fruit and veg section. But just for ease of this, should we say it's a vegetable? Yeah, but no one, no. They're not definitely not popular enough. Mushrooms. People love them or hate them. They're too controversial.

I also find it strange when people say like onion is my favourite vegetable because like onion adds flavour, there's no doubt. Onion's an accompaniment. Onion rings? Onion is an ingredient more than a vegetable. Any vegetable tastes good, basically tempura. As I say, my favourite vegetable is whatever that tempura one is that looks like a chip. That's potato, eh?

I think it's a sweet potato. Yeah, kumara. Well, taking the number one spot, broccoli. I love broccoli. It's yum. I mean, it's really good for you. It's so good for you. Makes you tooty.

Makes you very tooty. Broccoli makes you tooty. Yeah. Collie makes you more tooty because it's very high in the FODMAPs. Right. It ferments in your tum tum. Same with mushies. Yeah, right.

But number one was broccoli. 70% of people say that they buy broccoli every single week in America. Would you go potato just purely because you can fry it? You can do so much with it? Yeah. Oh, potatoes are so versatile. Would you rather always, you get to choose one for the rest of your life, broccoli or

potato? You could do so much more with the potato. I know. I'm not a massive potato. I'm not a massive potato girl. Your knee looks like a potato. Your knee looks like a potato. I put this knee brace around my knee For my ongoing nerve pain

And when I straighten it Oh my god it's like It looks like a kumara It's going to be a real nightmare to peel It does And when you do it like that So it goes a bit wrinkly It looks like it's dried out a bit

Looks like you left a kumara in the pantry In the pantry for too long Your knee's going to start having shoots. Yeah, it's going to get little roots coming out of it. Thanks for the knee shame, you guys. I'll be sure to really hit the knees at the gym today. Anyway, so I had an idea because, you know, I'm hot and fresh and I'm hot and fresh on radio.

I guess in a similar vein to I guess I can bet your mum's name. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Yeah. I want people to call up. Yeah. And we're just going to have a little chit chat for like a minute or so. Yeah. And then we're going to guess what your favourite vegetable is. What, working out just by talking to them? Yeah, because I feel like people have an energy.

I mean, Vaughan's got big potato energy. Big potato energy. Do you know what I mean? So you're saying if Vaughan called up, you could tell that he loves a sponge? Absolutely. Whereas you, you've got shrooms written all over you. I can see it. I've got big shroom energy.

You've got massive shroom energy. Right, okay. All right, so for this, we'll need some people to call us. Yeah, give us a call. 0800 DALZITM. Hey, are you just going to do this? Are you going to be channeling the energy or are we all going to be? I'd like some support.

Chip in. Okay. All right. And then is there a prize? Because you've got to get people to like. A thousand bucks. As I mentioned, I'm new to radio. We don't have a thousand dollars.

The prizes will buy you that vegetable. Just one. That's a good prize though because it's your favourite vegetable. And actually, Anna, I can see Anna looking at me being like, there's no budget for this. We can use your COVID kitty. Absolutely not. Fletcher's going to personally fund this project of mine.

That I won for the money I got for getting COVID first. Yeah, so if your favourite vegetable is capsicum, then boy do we... That's going to be a whole fiver gone. Yeah, well, that's gone. Easy, this time of year. All right. We'll see how many callers we get. Well, 0800 dials at M, give us a call.

We need to guess your favourite vegetable. You're just going to tell us your name, a little bit about yourself. Easy. We have a good guess. Well, we're talking veggies. Now, this study came out of America, listing the favourite vegetable of Americans as the broccoli. As the broccoli, closely followed by the carrot.

I would have thought the potato would have been right up there. Carrot's very versatile. Not as versatile as a spud. A carrot's a carrot's a carrot. You can eat a carrot raw. You can slice it like my mum did almost every night growing up and put a bit of sucral in there and boil them. And it can go in luncheon.

How good? Luncheon. Oh, yeah, yeah. It can go in luncheon. Little kids of carrot can go in luncheon. Those luncheons, they have carrot. How good's a roaster? Like a honey glazed roasted carrot.

Oh, yeah, that's nice. Yum, yum, yum. Baby carrots. Yeah. Now, you've got an idea, Hayley. This is where you get a caller on. Yeah. And we just have a little chat for a bit.

And then you guess their favourite vegetable. We're going to have a little guess of what their favourite vegetable is. This is rock and roll radio. Producer Anna's saying that the prize will be the cash equivalent of the vegetable that is their favourite. But I don't. I think if they say their favourite is a carrot, we send them a carrot. Because imagine how funny it would be. It won't travel well.

No, but that's great. Imagine opening up the letterbox and there's a parcel shaped as a carrot. A pumpkin would travel all right. Guys, don't make me go to the supermarket and in the post shop today. I've got a busy day. I don't have time to be posting a bloody aubergine. Fletch is going to do it. Are you Fletch? You can do it. I don't have time to be posting a bloody aubergine. Fletch is going to do it. Are you Fletch?

You can do it. I can't walk to the post shop. I get puffed now because I'm a COVID survivor. I've got to do a bit of a shop today. But the only problem is I shop in organic supermarket. And I don't want to have to pull into like a second tier supermarket. So you're telling me I've got to go to Barrow Fresh over here? Alright.

Will you slum it, will you? Eva, good morning. Good morning. Oh, she instantly sounds like a carrot girl. Don't tell us, don't tell us. So, you're very bright. You've got a lot of vitamin C in there. Or, one of those girls that

loves celery dipped in peanut butter. Yeah. Does that count? Celery doesn't work. It doesn't stand alone. Celery. It's a big stuff. Peanut butter's playing

all the... No, but I'm just saying it sounds like her go-to. You wouldn't just snack on a celery. Eva, what do you do for a living? I'm a nursing student.

Oh, carrots. Potatoes. I reckon it's carrots on the goes I reckon it's carrots on the go Yeah it's carrots on the go Nurses are so busy It's fried It's chips Yeah but you can't ring up

And want to talk about Your favourite vegetable And say it's potato chips No It's gotta be potato What are you feeling? I reckon carrots I reckon carrots too

Because she's She's on the go She's got a bright Orange energy She's not a carrot girl I can just feel because she's so bright. Yeah, yeah. She's got a bright orange energy. She's not a carrot girl. I can just feel it. It's potato. Eva.

God, Eva, eh? Always snacking on the carrots. Yeah. Dipping them in tuna every now and then. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Snack on the go. Busy nurse. What is your favourite vegetable?

Did you say tuna? Yeah. Tuna. Tuna. No, that's not a vegetable, obviously, but I'm just saying you use your favourite vegetable to eat it. To dip it. What's your favourite veggie?

It's carrots. Yay! Eva, you best believe we're sending you one single carrot. And a long, skinny one. Send her a bag of carrots. No, we're not made of money. Hang on here. There's not enough money in the COVID kitty.

We're not spending the COVID kitty. That was amazing. Straight away you can hear it. Laura's called. Laura, good morning. Morning. Oh, that's a spud girl. That's a portobello mushroom all over. That is a portobello mushroom woman. Mushrooms are fungus. No, but for the exercise

we're including mushrooms as vegetables. Laura, do you like to eat breakfast? Sometimes. Oh, okay. Do you like a cooked breakfast? Well, on the right occasion. Okay, so if you loved mushrooms, you'd be all about breakfast. So I'm going to rule out mushroom girl.

I wonder if she's got like a... I hope someone's not ringing up with an iceberg lettuce energy. I can't even believe lettuce was on the list. Yeah, it's as favourite as a lettuce. I love the crunch, but... I love a salad, but a lettuce is just filler. I mean, how far are we going here? We're talking our eggplants?

I tell you what, there's a grilled... No one's favourite is an eggplant. No, but I've had a grilled miso eggplant. Oh, yeah, those are yum, man. Shit, ito eggplant. Oh, yeah, those are yum, man. Shit, it's yum. Oh, yeah, those are yum, man. But that's all about the miso. And they're good in a veggie curry, too.

And they've got great... In a lasagna. Yeah, and they're a... Eggplant lasagna. And what a great emoji, too. We're getting distracted from the eggplant. Yeah, Laura, what do you do for a living? I'm a nurse.

Another nurse! Is she on the carrot bus? I reckon she might be on the carrot bus. You reckon she's got a carrot? Another carrot nurse. Yeah, might be a carrot. What about? Is she on the carrot bus? I reckon she might be on the carrot bus. You reckon she's got another carrot? Another carrot nurse. Yeah. Might be a carrot. What about capsicums and hummus?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't my guess. That wasn't my guess. Laura, just block your ass for a minute. We've got a fussy bitch on our hands. Oh, hey. She doesn't like breakfast. She'd roll her.

She'd eat the capsicum and hummus. She's like, ugh. So do you think she's a carrot girl? I think she's carrot. She's plain old carrot or spud. Laura? Someone's gotta go carrot, someone's gotta go spud. I'll go spud. I said from the start that sounds like a spud girl. Yeah, she had spud energy

when she said hello. Okay, so if she gets potato or carrot she wins. No, um, you've got to choose, Hayley. Potato. Lock and potato. Okay, Laura, what's your favourite vegetable? Way off. It's corn. Oh! Oh! How do we know it's vegetable? Way off. It's corn. Oh, I love corn! How do we know it's corn?

We didn't think of corn. I wasn't even enough. God, it's been good this summer. I had a barbecued corn. Yeah. Yes, shit, that's good. Oh, you don't go back. Yeah, and it had like mayo on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Laura, sorry. You just open up the top and you shove butter in it and then close the top back on there and then you take it off and give them a charred barbecue. Laura, sorry we said you had spud energy. Yeah, we did. A little bit offended.

No, we didn't mean that. Didn't mean it. I called you portobello mushroom energy. A little bit plain. Yeah, but no, you're all fancy with your corn, aren't you? Laura, let's go to Molly, our last caller so far. This has only cost us a carrot. Molly, good morning.

Good morning. Oh. Go has only cost us a carrot. Molly, good morning. Good morning. Oh. Okay. Go again. Sorry, I missed it. Say good morning. Good morning. Oh, that was our second time around.

She tried to fancy it up. I also heard a little clink of a spoon on a bowl. Oh, cereal. Okay. So I'm ruling out mushroom. Forgot about corn, though. Hey, I've got tomatoes. Tomatoes.

If you like mushrooms. I don't. They're too controversial, though. Hey, hang on, tomatoes exist. Tomatoes. If you like mushrooms, I don't. They're too controversial, tomatoes. People really hate them, mate. I hate them. Really hate them. Do you like tomatoes?

I hate them. Son of a bitch. But then there are those random people that will just rip into a tomato. I'll eat a tomato straight, I'll just go into the garden, I'll just eat them

straight off the plant. Yum, yum, yum. Molly, what do you do for a living? I'm a legal assistant. Oh. Carrots. Carrots and hummus because I don't have a lot? I'm a legal assistant. Oh. Carrots. Carrots and hummus because I don't have a lot of time. You can't guess carrots.

I reckon I'll push the boat out on a kumara. Oh, you reckon? Yeah, I love kumara. That's so good. Absolutely. Or what about a pumpkin? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an insult.

That's an insult. That is an insult. That's worse than anything. No, it's not. What? Saying you've got big pumpkin energy is worse than saying you've got big spud energy. No, I love a pumpkin. Roast pumpkin?

Roast pumpkin with a bit of cinnamon on it or something. It's the best. It's somebody's favourite part of the roast. No, I'm going to stand my ground. Past that's above pumpkin. I'm going to stand my ground. You reckon she's a pumpkin girl? It's pumpkin.

I'm going Kumara. Molly, tell me. It's pumpkin, isn't it? It's broccoli. Oh! I forgot about broccoli. That was the Americans from the study.

Probably should have gone broccoli. So good for you. What's your favourite way to eat broccoli? Oh, I like it just steamed. I'll have it when I'm sick. Yes, same. Steamed, yeah.

Just a plain steamed broccoli. Steamed bright green. Wow, this is... Steamed up for 10 minutes is the ultimate time to steam. 10 minutes? And then you feel a little bit of crunch.

10 minutes? You're not going to have any crunch left after ten minutes. Yeah, three or four. Yeah, ten minutes in the George Foreman steamer. Oh, okay, so you've got a different steamer. You're drunk. You're drunk. And might I suggest, might I recommend the pumpkin?

Yeah. Honestly. Maybe branch out. I don't know if that'll work in the George Foreman. Molly, thank you. Cheapest radio competition we've done in a while. Well, Eva, we have your address, and best believe one single carrot is on its way to you.

Jeez, we almost filled half an hour, and all it cost the company was a carrot. I wish it was great radio. Great stuff. Make it a daily segment. Sade had a girls weekend at the weekend I saw that She went away

Why heck you She went to why heck you Yeah she went to why heck you Little girls weekend So I solo dated for the weekend I said girls let's pretend Mum's left the family Good practice

Let's pretend mum Yeah yeah good practice Let's pretend mum's had a better offer And let's face it It wouldn't take much No offence to you She loves you guys But let's pretend mum's had a better offer and let's face it, it wouldn't take much. No offence to you. She loves you guys. But let's pretend mum's got a hot young boy and she's left the family.

Hot young boy on a motorbike. Oh, yeah. He's got a motorbike. Oh, that sounded like a scooter. It's a helicopter. He's got one of those too. Now, why don't she's gone? Oh, this guy's got transport options. He sounds rich.

Were you sure she wasn't At his mansion With a helicopter pad On Waiheke Could have been Yeah But she came home So I guess you know The old saying

Bog them down in paperwork Bog them down in paperwork Admin Very admin heavy They can't leave you Yeah So I

We didn't eat We didn't eat at home once I was just like I could but then I was just like wah so we didn't and you know I just

I will stop and now I will pause yeah to take my thanks from the hospitality industry I appreciate you right

yeah and you know sort of maccas for breakfast type stuff too I appreciate you Right Yeah And you know Sort of Maccas for breakfast Type stuff too Right You didn't even fry an egg No no no no no

So next time you go Next time you go away Yeah And your wife's like Alright breakfast time And she gets out the bowls They're gonna be like My dad took us out every time

Yeah That's what I'm aiming for, baby. Yeah, we got the girls got their second vaccine. Oh, yeah. Freebies this time around. They gave you something free last time.

A stationery voucher last time around. That's right. It's 50 bucks. There's a wild precedent too because kids just assume if they get something one time, they're going to get it the next time. But I said, well, it's like every time I got a vaccine as a kid, I'd get a lolly. And now as an adult, nothing. No lollies. Nothing.

Nothing. No lollies. And so, yeah, we hung out and then I was like, well, you guys take it easy. So they got to like go on screens and stuff for a lot of the day. Yeah, right. I just want to say, yeah. And then yesterday before Shadow got home, we tidied the whole house. So I don't want to say too much about my standing going into this week,

but I think I'm everybody's favourite in the house. Wow, clean house. I cleaned the house. Vaxxed kids. Yeah. Clean house, vaxxed kids, what more could you ask for? How long before you're not the favourite In the house

Probably Moment Any moment now It's like any moment now It'll already be over Yeah yeah Because the house Will have deteriorated

I even But I did that thing Because Shade always does I just tidied this house And then yesterday When like shoes Were being kicked off I was like

Excuse me We just tidied this house I did that This house just got tidied. How did she take that when she was hungover? Was she hungover? No, she wasn't hungover. Oh, okay. I guess this guy, I don't know what they didn't drink much or something. Must have been too busy doing other things.

Yeah, helicopter rides and stuff. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year in a row, your gold medalist. Where's my medal? Well, it's time for Where's My Medal? We've taken your nominations over the weekend, and it's all thanks to our mates at Xero,

simplifying everyday business tasks, making it easy to see all of your business information online. Got to come in handy at the end of the financial year. It's a couple of days away. Am I right, guys? No, you're not wrong, mate. You're not bloody wrong. You're sure not wrong about the end of the financial year. Which couple of days away. Am I right, guys? No, you're not wrong, mate. You're not bloody wrong. You're sure not wrong about the end of the financial year. Which is always March 31st.

It really has crept up, though. I don't want to pay. I've got some paperwork. I don't want to pay any money. I don't want to pay any money or do any of the work to find out how much money I have to pay.

I'm going to skip this year. Well, thanks. I've skipped. I can't. I've skipped the last seven. I can't. You know, every eight. You've really got to start paying tax, Vaughn. Well, thanks to I can't. I've skipped the last seven. I can't. You know, every eight. You've really got to start paying tax, Vaughn.

Nah. Well, thanks to our mates at Xero. You can try Xero for free for 30 days. Visit Xero.com to find out more. And cash prizes for our gold and silver and bronze medalists today on the show. Not bad. Christina, first up, why do you deserve a medal, Christina? Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. So I finally bought a new outdoor extinction cord. Oh, wow. Wow. As opposed to what were you using before? So we had an old one. It was quite old. And it had gotten to the point where, you know, some of the wires inside are broken, but it kind of just works.

Yeah. You hold it at a certain angle. And then tape it at that angle. Christina, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? That's rude to ask. I'm 26. And my partner would stand at the hedges trimming, and I would squat by the extension cord,

and I'd just, like, hold it at the right angle. And it was cut out. He's like, babe, it cut out. I'm like, I know I can hear. The reason I ask, Christina, is because Vaughn and I are a little older and we grew up with ads. You remember these ads, the electrocution ads?

Yes. And there was the one with the caravan. I think there was someone doing the hedge. Yeah, and they cut through the... I've cut through an extension cord with a hedge trimmer. Wild times, ladies and gentlemen. Plastic handle so I didn't get a shock, but I went... These heads were ruthless.

And they'd show all these people getting electrocuted and you'd be like, I'm never using a power cord outside ever. Kind of like the ACC ads. Yeah, they were. Fall through tables and whatnot. Yeah. Gone brutal. Wow, Kristina, you've done a good thing.

Yeah, that's really good. Is it yellow? No, I bought a green one, but it's also longer than the old one. The old one was too short, so we would have to use indoor extension cords, and we built like a chain of extension cords. Yeah, that's good stuff. I love a chain of extension cords. It certainly sounds safe.

Christina, wait there. Briar, why do you deserve the medal? Morning, guys. Morning. Well, Saturday was a big day. I managed to move the collection of drink bottles by my bed to the bin that was about four steps away. No, you did it. It was a big day.

Are they like old, like crinkled up pump bottles? No, I've got a stainless steel water bottle. These are like the Coke bottles that have been here for a few weeks. Yeah. Oh, wow. This is the environment. You have a little Coke in bed, do you? Yeah, love a Coke.

There's a Coke. There's now a new collection that's already started as well. You've just taken the gleam off of what you've done. But I'm ready to take those ones away now. Yeah, I can't do that. The bins are still there. The bins are still there ready to be emptied. I can't imagine lying in bed having a fizzy.

Oh, no. It's the way to go. It's got to dry up. I'd be worried that I'd tip it back and it would, like, bubble up my nose or something. Oh, no, I'm not a baby. I've got, I know how to drink. You don't know when you're lying down and you drink and when I lie down and drink.

No, you sit up. You sit up, yeah. I don't sing up. Okay. I don't sit up in bed either. Yeah, and one's a Powerade bottle, so like... Were you hungover, were you? Yes.

It certainly sounds like it. I'm cold and a Powerade. Yeah. You're a hot mess. I definitely am. All right, Brian, wait there for our medal ceremony. Kelly, why do you deserve a medal? Morning, guys.

Morning. So yesterday I vacuumed the house, which personally I think deserves a medal anyway Morning, guys. Morning. So yesterday, I vacuumed the house, which personally, I think deserves a medal anyway, but apparently that's just normal. Yeah, that's just housework. Right.

But I went the extra mile and instead of my usual ignoring, I changed the attachment on the vacuum and I vacuumed all the skirting boards. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I don't do that all the time. I don't do that all the yeah. I don't do that all the time. I don't do that all the time. I don't do that.

When you were finished, did you empty the vacuum of all the dust that you'd accumulated or did you just put it back on the cupboard and that's somebody else's job? I actually emptied it

because I was curious how much was in there. I know. It's good when you can be like, oh my God, I vacuumed all of this up and you see the big pile and you're just like, yeah. I've done that.

I did good. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. All right. Well, Kelly, brilliant. Great effort. Wait there.

It's time now for our medal ceremony. Cash prizes to award the judges deliberating now. Tough, tough this week, isn't it? What do you guys think? Third for that one? One. Yeah, okay. And then I'm going to go...

Yeah. Yeah, I think we're all in absolute... We concur. Yeah, concurrence. All right, it's time for some medals. Bronze today. And taking away $100 thanks to our friend Zero, is Callie for vacuuming.

Because a clean home is rewarded to itself, but she did skirting boards, and then she wanted to check what's in the bag. And there's always way more hair in that vacuum than you thought there was going to be, isn't there? Yeah, disgusting. Yeah, disgusting about her hair. Congratulations, $100, Kelly, is all yours. Well done. All thanks to our mates at Xero.

In second place, Winnie the Silver Medal for services to I guess herself to stop electrocution and also her partner to not cut through the cord whilst trimming the hedges. She bought a big adult extension cord. Christina.

Green even. A green extension cord. $200 and the silver medal today for you. Yes, well done. Thank you. That probably pays for the really expensive extension cord. Yeah, and she gets to live longer. It's always a happy bonus.

But that means gold medal today. Although I am going to be interested when the bottles that are in the bin leave the actual bedroom. Are they going to go and recycle it or are they just going to get chucked in the ordinary wheelie bin? And also giving her this cash prize is just going to fuel more bottles. More bottles by the bed. Bottles in the bedroom.

Fizzy. Fizzy in the sheets. And a lady in the street. $500 thanks to Zero. Briar, congratulations. Thank you. It is definitely going to go in the recycling bin. Good deal.

Give her a rinse. Give her a rinse. Nice work. All right. Well, all going to go in the recycling bag. Good deal. Give her a rinse. Give her a rinse. Nice work. All right. Well, all thanks to our mates at Xero. Congratulations taking out our gold today. $500. That's amazing.

Thank you. I was going to buy some more drinks now. Yeah, girl. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. And the woman herself is on the phone. And Gail, that song has just blown up everywhere. That must feel incredible. Yeah.

I mean, I think it's also really funny. I wrote the song with my best friend and then a really good friend of ours, Dave Pittenger. And it was like such, like, I would say isn't particularly like, we weren't sitting here being like, this is the peak of music. This is the best thing we've ever done. It was just like, it was like a really funny song we wrote to trash my ex-boyfriend. So then we walk in and then I was finally like ready to be angry. And then we like wrote the song. And I, from when I wrote it to when I released it, there was like a year gap. So like it was on my phone for a year. Like I was just like listening to it every once when I was bored.

I'd be like, oh, you know what? I haven't thought about that song in a minute. I'm going to listen to it and like it was it was the song is not innocent but like the intentions behind writing the song yeah having it was very just like playful and fun and innocent and just like yeah imagine being your ex maybe it'd be like you know the gale song a b c d e f u the u is me she's talking about me and my mom. Yeah. That's the thing.

Is this person, like, out there being like, oh, my God. Because if you think about, like, the famous songs like Carly Simon's You're So Vain and the last of my sets, you ought to know, no one knows who they're about. You know, like, they're these angry songs that an ex, but no one knows who they were written about. But you've said you're boyfriend, so people could research and find out? No, it'd be pretty hard to find out. And I'd prefer for people to try their best to not,

just to have the self-control. Just enjoy the song. Yeah, because it's also more of like, he deserved that song getting written about him, 100%. But he does not deserve people finding out about him, 100%. But he does not deserve people finding out about him. Like that, like I get it. Like I

literally pretended to film a music video in his house and trashed it. Like there's some lines that were crossed, but I'm trying to have some type of boundary. Oh look, it's all whipped down. Some sort, you know. There's gotta be a point. Totally. How old are you now? Because it says 17 in the press stuff, but are you nearly 18?

I turned 18 in June, so it's coming up. It's coming up soon. So this song came out when you were 17. You had it on your phone for a year, so you wrote it as a 16. This is a romance that you had as a 15-year-old. Yep. Wow, okay. See, this is all new for Vaughn because Vaughn didn't have any luck

when he was a teenager in relationships. Okay. See, this is all new for Vaughn because Vaughn didn't have any luck when he was a teenager in relationships. No. So to feel this kind of pain and angst and love, it's new to you, isn't it? It is. It is. I feel like when you're little, like especially like the age of like 15 too, it's like one,

I don't know how red flags played out. Like if there's beginning of a talking stage and like there's red flags, I didn't know how that plays out over the span of 10 months. How you're like, oh, that's just toxic and not good for my mental health.

That makes me not like myself. I didn't know. I didn't know that you could make somebody up in your head. They are the person you're dating, but then they're just a little bit not. Just some things are possible. I was going to say person you're, like, dating, but then they're just, like, a little bit not. Like, just some things are lost. I was going to say, you're incredibly wise for a 17-year-old.

Most people are in, like, their late 20s or mid-30s before they're like, okay, that wasn't good. I can see now a pattern developing. All this deep, wise thinking from you, Gail. I want to know, what's the vibe of the rest of the album? Oh, the vibe is like, okay, so like even with the first EP, Volume 1,

there might maybe possibly Volume 2, but like for me, the first one, there's a lot of like, you did this. Like even like, you don't want to be friends, you're just horny. Or like, F you. I'm so love-starred, but I'm knowing if I'm ready to trust you, you know? I'm going to say, I already,

I don't want to blow smoke up your ass, but I already said you. I don't know if that's a saying in any other part of the world apart from New Zealand. It is, it is. It is, okay, okay. Sometimes we've got weird sayings in New Zealand

and we say them and people are horrified at them. So blowing smoke up your ass, I just wanted to confirm that. No, no, but I did say you had the, you've got the biggest song in the world. And now I'm going to say you're the voice of a generation. Oh my gosh, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I've got two daughters. So we started out listening to the censored version and then they told me they heard the uncensored version on TikTok and from here on out, that is the only version we will listen to in the car, which we're okay with. Which we're very much okay with. But one of my daughters had a question.

What kind of dog do you think her ex-boyfriend had? Because you say everybody can get f***ed apart from the dog. And so now we're like, we've had many discussions. Was it a golden retriever? Yeah, is it like a cute golden retriever? Is it a rescue dog that's got a heart of gold but had a rough start? Can we know the dog? What breed of dog was it?

The dog was a Shia Boo and had a rough start. Can we know the dog? What breed of dog was it? The dog was a Shibu and her name was Kayla and she was the sweetest little thing and it makes me very sad. Let's steal her. Let's steal her. I was just going to say,

let's do this. We're going to come over and we're going to help steal the dog. We're going to be touching down in approximately 15 hours. We're going to meet you. You're going to pick us up

at the airport. We're going to go and steal the Shibu. Great. We're going to meet up. We're going to go outside of his house and we're going to come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I us up at the airport. We're gonna go and steal the shit. Great. We're gonna meet up. We're gonna go outside of his house. This is a mission. Yeah.

I don't get all the contact. Oh my God. You have to stay in the car. He'll recognize you. I think he might recognize you. we didn't date when I had the split dye and I had short hair. Gail, Gail.

Gail, maybe I have a disguise. Gail, I don't want to spring this on you, but you're quite a big deal. I think he might have looked up what you look like now. He might have seen, he might've seen a music video or something or someone might've been like, is this Gail that you used to go out with?

And he would've been like, okay, you should go longer here now. The one thing is, is I blocked him on TikTok. So I don't know if you can, and the thing, this is bad logic, but I don't know if he could hear my TikTok audio if I blocked it. Well, actually I didn't block his dad on instagram though that was the one thing i did i hate his dad i hate his dad more than i hate his mom and his sister it just sounded better to say his mom and

his sister but i didn't block his dad because i knew he knew how much i hated his dad and so like it was so petty so i knew that he'd be pissed if I blocked him on everything but not his dad. Gail, we're out of time, but I'm so excited to hear new music with you. Hoping one day you get to come over to New Zealand and perform for us. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I would love that. Gail, thanks so much.

Really appreciate your time. See you later, mate. Thank you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I mean, if you're like me and you've been absolutely obsessed watching Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson's relationship bloom,

then you may already know this information. And it's really bloomed. Oh my god. Like zero to a hundred. Apparently she's like absolutely head over heels for him. But he is like the antithesis of Kanye. Like Kanye is like really intense. Yeah.

And very highly strung. Yeah. Whereas Pete Davidson is the most like mellow, jolly, funny guy. Yeah. With, yeah, not a lot of, not a worry in the world, Pete Davidson. So it's been revealed that she has a rule for Pete Davidson who already has her name tattooed on him at least three places.

He can't stay the night. No sleepovers. He's not allowed to stay the night because obviously she's got five. North, St, Chicago. West, East. West, South. Northwest. five North Saint Chicago West East South

Northwest rises in the never and then there's eat soggy and there's wheat bags

so she's got 10 kids but she does that so that they feel comfortable so that they're not just sort of

like I think he's now met them very slowly in like public situations or like group family situations but they're doing it very slowly so he's not met them very slowly in public situations or group family situations. But they're doing it very slowly.

So he's not allowed to stay the night. He can come over. What if they're not there? Do they spend any nights with Dad? Well, according to Dad, no. He's not even allowed to see them. But that was all poo-pooed, wasn't it? That was all poo-pooed.

She was like, you were literally here an hour ago. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. I don't know the ins and outs of their, what do you call it, parental arrangements, agreements. There would be a rule

though that a lot of like single mums would do. Yeah, funnily enough, we actually spoke about this the other day, me and my marching gals, and we were

talking about a few of them have kids and then are in new relationships, and they said that, yeah, never sleep over, and if they ever came over for a date, it would be after the kids had gone to bed, they'd have a date.

And then, like, even if they ended up staying the night, they had to be gone in the morning before the kids woke up. Because you don't want your kids, I guess, sort of going, who's this guy this week? Yeah, who's that strange man? Yeah, he's different to the one last week. Yeah, that's right. Where's Uncle Drew?

You tell your dad all about all these good-looking men that leave at all hours of the night on motorcycles. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to think of whether I had a rule with Aaron. I mean, obviously it's less complicated because we don't have any kids. There's no rules. Eventually we made him pay rent. He stayed so much.

And I lived in a flat full of drama students and we were like, you've got to chip in, mate. Dramatic. Well, I know some people that are flatting, if someone's going to stay over like their boyfriend or whatever, they'll be like, pay like $5 a night or something. Oh my god, like a little Airbnb, like a little hostel

fee. Like a fee. Yeah. So if they're going to stay over, you pay $2. I suppose they have a shower and they might use a bit of milk in the morning and a teabag. Using power. Just their general presence around. Yeah, that's at least worth $2. Worth $2 to $5.

Yeah, a night. So we want to know from you guys, do you have a sort of unusual relationship rule that you have in place? Well, maybe someone doesn't even have kids and they're not allowed to stay. Maybe they've got like a certain amount of months. Yes. Like, you know, they just go on dates

and then after a month or two, then they can. I used to have a friend whose rule was when she was dating people on a more casual basis, if they came over, they weren't ever allowed to get down in the bed because she hated having strangers' feet in her bed. She was like, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. ever allowed to get down in the bed because she hated having the stranger's feet in her bed. She was like, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. I don't want feet in my bed.

Were they allowed to like dangle the feet over the edge? Yeah, I guess so. Or to sort of be around. What? Yeah, I know. So they'll have a stranger's penis in their bed, just to check. Absolutely. Feet, no, no.

No feet. Arms? Arms fine. Bums and head, bum? no. No feet. Arms? Arms fine. Bums and head, bum? Everything but the feet. Everything but the feet. Very interesting. Yeah.

She should date an amputee. She should. Or an Aaron, because his feet dangle over the edge. Because he's so tall. Yeah, because he's so tall. But what if they crept up during the night? He's out. What if she was a no hands and no feet

policy so they literally had to sleep? With their torso and their arms like that. They could go arms over the top. Okay, well we want to take your calls this morning. 0800 DALS at Emerson number. You can text as well. 9696. Tell us, what is your unusual relationship rule? It can be

for like new relationships or old relationships. But the rule that you're like, I'm not budging on this. Give us a call. We're talking about rules in your relationship. Pete Davidson's not allowed to stay over at Kim Kardashian's because she doesn't want him there in the morning and the kids to have questions about what Uncle Pete's been doing and stuff like that.

Why does he stay? Because he lives in New York. She's also got a big enough house that I reckon he could probably just... He could literally be down one wing of the Westfields. Yeah. But it's a sensible rule. A lot of people do this. So we want to know what are the rules in your relationship?

It doesn't have to be like this relationship where one of you has got kids. It's not just any relationship at all. Some messages on Instagram. Abby writes, if we're feeling emotional we both say garage and then we both know what to do. Go to the garage? Go to the garage and you know what I mean?

No, but they're emotional. You mean the ideas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a punch bag in there and they just work out your emotions. What are we doing? Why are we angry at you? Or is it just a safe, like a emotional safe word? A veto word. Yeah, like I'm getting emotional, garage

and the other person's like, okay. Does it work for all emotions? Angry, sad. Maybe. Do they just leave each other alone? It would never work for me. Right. Aaron would be like, garage. I'd be like, stuff your garage. Not right now. It's not. Nikki says, always play music in the house if you're pooping so the other your garage. Not right now, it's not. Nikki

says, always play music in the house if you're pooping so the other doesn't accidentally hear. That's their relationship rule. Oh yeah, that's nice. So if you're going to go do number twos, you put on some loud music. Okay, so say you're just sitting around and then your partner puts on music and then

leaves. You're like, ooh, now I know they're going for a number two. Yeah, it's sort of like a little call. Yeah, you know it's happening. Know it's coming and then put it on. When you had a flatmate who would go to bed for a bit of rompy-pompy and then put on music and you'd be like, I understand that it's happening and I can't hear the act itself, but I know it is happening. I know it's happening.

And now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, and now I'm listening for like between songs. Picturing it. Oh, yeah. If there's any, whereas if it had just been happening before, I would have been like, oh, yeah. Anyway, on with life. Yeah.

Always got to make sure your settings are fade the music over the next song. Oh, you got a good crossfade. Yes, there's no hard stop. Yeah. Brittany says, whoever goes to bed first gets tucked in, pulls up the blankets and gets forehead kisses and everything. So the first person in bed gets treated like a baby, I guess. I've got to say, that's so unsexy.

Nothing ruins the potential of lovemaking like being tucked in. Good night, Whittle Sweepy. Good night, Whittle Sweepy. Anonymous joins us. What's your role in the relationship, Anonymous? Well, I've been married 26 years. Okay, so it must work. Yeah, it's gotta work.

I've still had, yeah, still have it. Every time I change the sheets, when I allowed no sex, no meth, on the first night, I changed seats. Oh, this is so good. No mess. But the second night is fine.

Well, no, it's not fine, but it happens. You just can't wait. You can't keep waiting forever. So if he walks in and you're changing the sheets, he's like, damn it. Yeah, I'll go and sleep on the couch. No, he doesn't. Wow. Amazing.

All right. No mess on the fresh sheets. Oh, not on the couch. No, he doesn't. Wow. Amazing. All right. No mess. No mess on the fresh sheets. Oh, not on the fresh sheets. Oh, put a towel down. No, that's unromantic. Because you don't want to use one of the nice soft towels. You're going to get a scratchy towel.

And then you don't want a scratchy beach towel either. No, you don't want to use a scratchy towel. No, you just can't do it. Okay. All right. Not on the thank you. Ask the messages. Oh, man. That one was.

No sex, no mess. Katrina says no phones once we're in bed. You're in bed, it's a no phones on. But where do you charge your phone? I charge it.

You just don't sit on it, right? Sneaky look. And then have a look on a quiet swipe. Do you and your fiance have phones in bed? Yeah, we've got phones in bed. We've got laptops,

iPads, headphones on. Screens. California king bed now so we're Opposite ends Don't touch me Don't look at me Good night

Yeah minority report Fucking screens around everywhere Yeah so sexy Someone else says It's hot in there The big rule is If you start a show together You've got to finish the show together

Oh my god Yeah but Nobody honours that rule Do they? No Aaron I just didn't even bother Nobody honours that rule

I didn't even bother waiting Like Oh my god I hate it I was like we've got to start Yellowstone I want to watch Yellowstone I was like We still haven't finished I just didn't even bother. I didn't even bother waiting. Oh my God, I hate it. I want to watch Yellowstone. I was like, we still haven't finished the last show we started. So I started without her and I'm almost done with Yellowstone now.

And if I'd started with her, I'd only be in season one and I wouldn't know what's happening on the Dead and Ranch. It's so awful. I hate it. When you start watching a show together, you're like, I really enjoy this. And they enjoy it the same match. They're like, oh, you fell asleep and I just kept on watching four more seasons

can't stand that you've got to stop going into comas I know it's all the wine Fact of the day day day

day day Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So much better with three, isn't it? Yes. Now that you're back. It feels a bit more full. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is there are countries without rivers. There are countries without rivers. There are countries without rivers.

How many? Vatican City. Heaps of them. That wouldn't have a river? No, it wouldn't. No, it doesn't. What about underneath it? Vatican, no, Vatican doesn't have a river.

This is a sovereign state, so countries that don't have rivers. What else is on the list? And then the most surprising one, and the country that I saw this about that led me to be like, that can't be right. Kuwait. You know, just below Iraq, Kuwait. Yeah, it's all desert, isn't it? Yeah.

And it doesn't have a lake either. Kuwait doesn't have any rivers or lakes. So you'd have to just go chasing waterfalls because you can't stick to the rivers and lakes like you used to But where do the waterfalls fall into if there's no rivers or lakes? Iraq Jeepers, creepers They fall over Yeah, but Kuwait was the one that led me on to this

I was like, how is this possible? And yeah, so it has to obviously fit the bill of what a river is Some have streams And seasonal watercourses known as wadis. Yeah, I went in Oman wadis are good. Wadis are like fun. You can walk through them

and go swimming in them. So they're completely dry. Yeah, they're in the middle of the desert. Yeah, they're not like a full time but then when there's rain in the hills, the rain's got to find a way down and the wadi was one way that it found once upon a time. But of course that doesn't constitute a river because a river's got to find a way down and the Wadi was one way that it found once upon a time. But of course, that doesn't constitute a river because a river's got to have a constantly flowing water source.

And a stream is a smaller river. Well, what other countries don't have rivers? There's three African countries. I was going to say sort of drier places like Africa. Comoros and Djibouti. You're doing well.

You're doing well. And Libya. Bahrain and Asia. No rivers. Okay. Kuwait. The Maldives, of course. Well, you're just islands, aren't you?

Yeah, it's just little islands there. Oman and Qatar. No permanent rivers. That's a lot. Saudi Arabia. And when you think about it That's pretty massive Because Saudi Arabia Is not a small country The United Arab Emirates

But they do have Wadi's Yeah And Yemen No rivers Toronto No rivers In Europe Malta

Monaco And Vatican City As you said And even we've got some Down here in the Pacific Islands Kiribati Marshall Islands Nauru, Tonga and...

I always trip over on this one. Tuvalau. Yemen doesn't have any rivers. Yemen doesn't have any rivers. Well, just look, what about that movie, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen? Where the hell are the salmon? Hang on.

No, that whole thing was about... That F, are the salmon. That was about damming a wadi, wasn't it? Yes. Because it wasn't a permanent river. And they said if they dammed it, it was going to change all the things. It's actually quite an interesting movie. It's a great movie.

But it was more of a wadi. It was a seasonal river. And they said they can't do salmon fishing here because there's no permanent. But did he catch a salmon in the end? Is that the whole movie? Just waiting for him to... Oh, I don't know. Spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert from a 2011 movie. Yeah. Which you haven't seen. Well, of course not. It doesn't sound that great. It's got Obi-Wan Kenobi in it. It's not skimmed on and ate it. That guy can't get enough of dry, arid climate. Tatooine.

It's got lovely... Yemen. Lovely... What's her face? Emily. Lovely Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt. We love Emily Blunt.

We do love Emily Blunt. Yes. Get on board. She's great. I love her. What's your problem with Emily Blunt Emily Blunt We love Emily Blunt Do we? Yes Get on board She's great I love her What's your problem With Emily Blunt? What's your beef With Emily Blunt?

I just don't know You didn't fancy A Mary Poppins? Oh not really Not many people Did fancy a Mary Poppins But how could you ever Julie Andrews

How would you follow that up? Exactly Absolutely How would you even Begin to comprehend Following that up? It's only got 67% salmon fishing in the Yemen.

Probably because people were expecting it to be more of a fly fishing documentary. Yeah. Yeah. It's a slow, it's a slow, it's a slow look into the area.

not a river in Yemen. No. To be found. No. Amazing. A wadi. That's why they need to dam it in that movie.

So today's fact of the day is there are countries in this world without rivers. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It was my father's retirement this weekend.

Had a dinner organised by his business, but myself and my brother had organised a surprise. My brother was going to come over from Melbourne for the party and my dad hasn't seen him for nearly three years because of COVID. Yeah, because of the borders. Yeah, there was little breaks where they were able to come over, but my parents were either like away in Italy or, you know, it didn't quite work out.

Now, you were just telling us off air, and this is a little FYI for those that are wanting to go away to Aussie for a quick little trip. Aussie, I was reading yesterday, Aussie from the 17th of April is stopping the rat test, the pre-departure test from the 17th of April are stopping the rat test. Yes. The pre-departure test from the 17th of April. Yes. But to come back into New Zealand, you need the pre-departure rat test. Yeah. And you were saying your brother and his girlfriend paid $250 each.

Each. For a rat test that you could buy for $10. I know, but it has to be done. Yeah, it has to be supervised. But you're telling me that someone that works, say, for example, at the airport kiosk or a pharmacy is on $250 for 10 minutes? I know. That's more than a doctor or a dentist.

And then you have to get another one to leave, but that one was only 80 bucks. The one in New Zealand. The one in New Zealand to leave New Zealand to go to Australia, which is getting scrapped. Yeah, which you'll only need for a few more weeks. I know, but so much money. 500 bucks.

And then add that to your flights. I know. It wasn't cheap. Dad, it wasn't cheap, the surprise. If you weren't retired, I'd ask you for the money back. But yeah, so we organised a surprise. It was my dad's retirement dinner on the Friday. And he knew that obviously my mum was

going to be there and me and Aaron were going to be there. And then my brother arrived on Thursday night and you hit him? We hit him in our house. We had a lovely night, lovely barbecue, played some pool and then we went to bed and we were all very excited and then we planned to have brunch with my dad,

me, Aaron, mum and dad. My dad still freaks out about brunch. Why? My parents are too late for breakfast and it's too early for lunch. Yeah, but he's a farmer, isn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hours after he's been awake.

It's also spending money. Yeah. Because there's plenty of toast and cereal in the pantry. Oh my God. Yeah. Imagine if I said to my dad, no, we'll just eat at the motel.

Even if I go to my parents' place and I cook breakfast, dad's like, oh, I don't know, it's going to be breakfast, Dad's like, oh, I don't know. It's going to be heavy. It's going to sit with me. Oh, gosh. He freaks out about a cooked breakfast.

He needs to get on board with the cooked breakfast. There's no other way forward. Anyway, so I was so nervous kind of organising it all. I obviously was here on Friday morning. Yeah. And they were with Aaron, and then we sort of all met up at this cafe in Parnell. Those are some men

who are going to ride for themselves. Yeah, and then it was like, I was getting all these messages going like, we're here and we're parked and then my parents were like, we're walking down the street to the cafe

and I was like to my brother, I was like, hide! You better go and hide. So then they, my brother and his partner Nina ducked into a furniture store and then mum saw Aaron who was hiding behind a pole and I was like, Aaron! You've got to go and hide. So then they, my brother and his partner Nina ducked into a furniture store and then mum saw Aaron who was hiding behind a pole and I was like, Aaron, you're not the surprise.

He was like, I don't know why I'm hiding. Also, he's far too big to be hiding behind a pole. Yeah, mum texts me, she's like, I can see Aaron hiding behind a pole. There's a lot of pressure with a surprise party. Like your surprise birthday, Vaughn. Aaron was also the first person I saw at my surprise party because he's so tall. You come around the corner and you're like, there's a big beacon of a man.

Yes, I know. But anyway, so we... I told you he should have been under the table. This all kind of happened... He was behind a pole. He was behind a pole. I just couldn't... I just couldn't...

I did not want it to get spoiled. Anyway, so then we... Me and Aaron walked in and as I was scanning in with my COVID, with my vaccine pass, I said to the guy, we're surprising my father there with my brother. Can they come in without showing their pass and then you can get their vaccine pass?

Because I didn't want them to stop at the door doing vaccine pass business and then my dad going, that's Sambo. So they said, oh yeah, that's absolutely fine. Not a problem. That's good. So we went in, me and Aaron went in, and then Aaron went to go sit on the other side,

and my mum was, like, pointing to the seat, and the seat where they got Aaron to sit, because he's such a big guy, blocked my dad's view of the door. I was like, good thinking. That's great planning. And then Patsy, in her most unsubtle way, brings out her phone, like, you know, holding it to her chest. Oh, mums aren't subtle with tech, eh? Mums aren't like... No, to her chest like this

and she was sort of talking, holding her phone that was recording and I'd text my brother saying go, go, go. Yeah. And then my brother and his partner walk in and my dad's chatting to me and I'm just going my heart was pumping. But my dad, bless him, is just the friendliest guy and so my brother reached

from behind and gave my dad a big hug and he said, hey, mate. And then my dad just goes, oh, hey, mate. Hi, mate. Like it was like a normal. Not knowing who it was. Yeah, just like, hey, hey there, mate. And then sort of turned and then went like, oh, shit.

And then they cried. And they were tears. They were tears. They had a big cuddle. And then my brother hugged my mum and everyone was crying and it was beautiful. But I just loved the moment my dad was like,

hello. And I was like, what? Like he knew. Then I was like, no, he thinks it's just some guy that he should know. And he came from behind. So he's trying to be polite.

We're not in the hug from behind part of the pandemic, I don't think either. No, definitely not. No, certainly not just casual. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. So tears all around after three years. Tears think either. No, definitely not. No, certainly not just casual. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

So tears all around after three years. Tears all around. It was absolutely lovely. We had the best day and then my dad is a free man. Did Patsy cry? Patsy doesn't stop crying.

Oh, Patsy's a crier. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, my mum's not really a crier. We had speeches, we all cried. I couldn't imagine your mum. No, if that happened,

mum would be like, all right, now sit down, you're blocking the way, you're getting in people's way, sit down, sit down. You can sit beside your father if it's that big a deal. Tell you what, if that happened, mum would be like, all right, now sit down. You're blocking the way. You're getting in people's way. Sit down. You can sit beside your father if it's that big a deal. Tell you what,

it felt like crying the next day. The six of us were so hungover. We had so many Negronis. Oh, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So there's a writer who was trying to write something and she was like, I need a better picture of men.

She's like, I don't know enough men in my life. Okay. So she's a writer for the New York Times. She's written a bunch of stuff. And she was like, so she went to her Twitter and said to her followers, what are the universal things that all men like? Okay. You see, I've got a response here of the top 10 things that people responded with.

And they're actually, they're very funny. And I want to see if you guys, as men yourself, actually like these things. Okay. Okay, first on the list, watching construction sites, just in case. Oh, just, I like watching construction sites,, watching construction sites just in case. Oh, just, I like watching construction sites, but yeah, also just in case. Oh, yeah.

Like if a crane's lifting something, I'm watching. Yeah, that's exciting. Yeah. Because then you want to hear that. And we did the tour of the New City Rail Tunnel, didn't we? Yeah, that was cool. I love walking past that every day, see what they're up to. That's a tick for that one, man.

Do you not love that? No. Not at all. Would you like to see a massive I-beam fall like 20 stories? No, I would hate to see that. I don't want to see anybody hurt, but I want to see an I-beam fall. I don't think I could handle it. I'd get very shaky and jittery.

Right. Okay, the second thing. Do you just have the urge to dig? Yeah, all the time. Like dig a hole. Yeah. Like see what's under something. Especially at the beach.

And you're thinking about like hole, you love digging holes, little tunnels. Tunnels, big on tunnels. Yeah, man. I want a tunnel. Lots of tunnels when I was a kid. We'd always build tunnels. All right, that's a tick for that one. And you haven't even worked in getting to play on a digger.

One of the greatest days of my life was my digger day, just tinkering around a little digger. Apparently there's just inside men is a masculine urge to dig. The third thing, you like to throw rocks off cliffs into lakes. I love to throw anything off a high point into water. Just that. So it goes vroom, vroom. Those people that threw the things off the massive dam,

like the Swiss ball and the balls. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I want to do that so bad. There's these Australian guys and their entire YouTube channel is them dropping things

off an old, like, radio tower. That's so nerdy. It's awesome. Okay, number four, standing while watching telly. Yeah. But that's because you don't want to commit to sit.

Well, if somebody else is watching something, you stand because then that's a real dad move. You don't want to commit to sitting down because you don't want to commit to sit. Well, if somebody else is watching something, you stand because then that's a real dad move. You don't want to commit to sitting down because you've got stuff you have to do. Yeah. And if you sit down, it's game over. So you'd say that's a yes to that one.

Yeah. Opening two windows so you can get a good cross breeze going. I know that that's what you do, but sometimes I'm anti because it'll blow. If you've got paper around, it'll blow anything. I do love opening all the windows

and getting a breeze going. Yeah, right. Does he love it breaking a window? I didn't know that was a thing. Our little ranch slide off the side of the lounge if I open that

and then the sliding window in the kitchen, I know I'm going to get a good thorough breeze. That's the best through breeze of the house because it doesn't slam any doors Goodbye odours

Number six So far we're five for five Number six Avoiding Avoiding knowing things Or getting curious About things By just saying

I don't know I don't know Oh no I'm a curious Yeah I wouldn't agree with that A little curious little chap I don't really have an opinion on that I don't know I don't know about that one

So we're missing this one for you two. Right, yeah, that doesn't resonate for me. All right, that one's gone. Buying a knife. Yes. And then seeing another man and saying, check out this knife. Check out this knife.

I always, yeah. And then the man holds, the other man holds the knife and then gives it back. He's like, that's a nice knife. I think I've done that with your knife.. He's like, that's a nice knife. I think I've done that with your knife. You've got to say that's a nice knife. When I make knives, I've made a cleaver and a little knife,

and people will often say, how was that knife thing? I'll be like, I'll go get it. And then you go get the thing, and first of all, you give them the knife, and they're like, that's a nice knife. Then you're like, feel the weight of this, and you pass them a cleaver, and they're like, that's got good weight. Then you're like, feel the weight of this. And you pass them a cleaver and they're like, that's got good weight. That's a nice knife. So that's a yes.

Telling people the special ingredient, this is number eight, telling people the special ingredient that they'll put in their chilli that makes it a bit more special than everyone else's. That's maybe not chilli, but yeah, every recipe you tell people. You want to know what a secret ingredient is? Yeah. Can't tell you, it's a secret. Yeah, no, I'll tell you tell people what your secret ingredient is. Yeah. Can't tell you, it's a secret. Yeah, no, I'll tell them.

What's your secret ingredient? Well, it depends what we're making. Do you know what mine is? Marmite. Oh, yeah. You've heard of marmite? Put marmite in everything. And a stew, greatness stew.

All right, so we've only missed one so far. Number nine, walking under a low-hanging sign, jumping up and tapping it. I remember when I got to the age where I could just reach up and whack them. That was a great day. Okay, that's definitely it. I mean, shopkeepers love this. No, they're retailers. One of them once, in Morrinsville, there was a big kerfuffle

because somebody said that their shop had been vandalised, but this sign had swung down. When someone had whacked it, it had come loose and smashed through their window. Well, that's not on them, is it? No, that's just poor sign fixation. The last thing on the list, so we've only missed one, which is about saying I don't know. The last on the list is memorising lines from their favourite movies and getting together

with their friends. And saying the lines. Giving them the lines and then realising they know the lines and you're almost getting to the whole scene. Yeah, that's a guy thing to do. And then they say bonus points if you're using accents as well. You've got to use the accents. Is there a girl version of this list?

I don't know. There's not on this thread, but I'm sure there would be. Oh, the list goes on and on. It goes to 20. How long do we have? Wow. Oh, we're at 10 and we only missed once. That's 90%.

Oh, yeah. Strops. Oh, yeah. Strops. Loadbinders. You crank them as tight as you can. If it's over wood and you start seeing it pushing into the wood and you're like, oh, I'm Just strops. Load binders. You crank them as tight as you can. Even to a... If it's over wood and you start seeing it pushing into the wood

and you're like, oh, I'm damaging my wood. And then you shake it and you go, that's not going anywhere. Yeah, good stuff. It's a good list. It's a good list. It's a good list. Pretty good. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Soundkeeper Al's is in for the secret sound and we have Simone with us who I believe

at last at last check was 8% battery, Simone. Yeah, it's 7 now.

7. We've got all the time in the world. Simone, tell us tell us right from the start. When were you born?

Tell us your life story. Wow. And then what happened? How did your mum and dad meet? I don't know. Let's get into it. Let's just sit back and chat for a bit. She's got 7% battery.

Seven's plenty these days. I've been flying for three weeks and I, yeah. You finally got. Also, who starts a day on 8% battery? That's stressful. Do you not charge overnight? I've got two phones. I was ringing on both.

One's full and one's on seven. Well, you've got two phones. You're dealing drugs. You don't need money. Drugs are still very popular. I would say you'd be flush with cash. Maybe that's why she needs the 50 grand. Maybe she's in trouble with the drug lord.

She's lost some gear and she needs to pay them back. So you've got the work phone as well. Alright, well, last of mine. Soundkeeper Owls is in. We were just talking about the last clue. Yeah, so there was a clue released on Friday. Is that right, Owls? Yes, there was. So the clue is, I'm looking at it now,

it's the movie posters for Pitch Perfect, Miss Congeniality and 13 Going on 30. Great movies. Perfect films. Yeah, iconic. Does that tickle your brain for anything? With my guess? Yeah.

Kind of, I think. They're female-focused films. Yeah. What percentage is your phone on now, Simone? Should we talk about the plot of each film? Just go through it one by one. And see if we can break down the clue. No, we won't do that to you.

Well, this is the secret sound, Simone. $50,000. If you can tell us what this is, what do you think? I think it's a key inserting into like a lock of a door. So when you go to open or lock it, that sound when it goes in? Yes. The sound it makes when you put the key in.

It's like the little mechanism clicking into place with the key. Yeah. I'm sorry. The little mechanism clicking into place with the key. Yeah. How have you drawn that from the clues? So I was thinking like office key was the first clue. Yeah. And that's also something you can do on a keyboard. Then the second clue is like a skeleton, so I just thought skeleton key.

Skeleton key? Yes. What about Pitch Perfect? Does she use skeleton key. Skeleton key? Yes. Do yours? What about Pitch Perfect? Does she use a key in that? They sing keys. It's singing. It's singing.

So they sing in key. And Miss Congeniality, she's got handcuffs. They have a key. Yeah, so handcuff key? I don't know. Wow, you really thought this through. And then the third one, she's got a bag. And I just think, you know, you put your keys in your bag.

Some people, like women, and then a city was behind her in the picture, so I just thought key to the city. Women use keys as well, don't they, famously? I don't know, I've been going a bit crazy. You put them between your knuckles just in case someone attacks you in the back. That's a good old trick. What's that phone battery at? At least I know if it's right or wrong I can sleep tonight.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we'll give you the answer before your phone does cock it. Oh, cool. Thank you. You're welcome. Cock it. I love New Zealand.

We're great. Well, Simone. Hello. I feel like half of New Zealand is rooting for you. You've connected some great clues. Yeah. But, Simone, that is not the secret sound.

Charge that phone. Charge that phone, Simone. I'm so glad I got this far. Aw. You did well. All right. It was a good guess.

Next chance at 8 o'clock. It's all thanks to Neon. You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neon.tv.co.nz. Well, Soundkeeper Al's is in. The one that knows the sound, that keeps the sound. Yeah, I told Matty on Friday. You told Matty what the sound was.

Yeah, he got to be the sound keeper for the last two guesses because it was his last day and Clint wasn't happy. We can't trust him. No, he's not to be trusted. He's telling the nation. John Campbell's got a bloody big mouth. And Maris Jurd will be telling everybody

in breakfast news. I know. Oh, well, they can know. No, I'm joking. Maddie swore. He swore he can't tell anyone. I won't tell anyone. We'll see.

Really? Could you deal with the stress? Could you deal with it? Don't tell me. can't tell anyone. I won't tell anyone. Really? Could you deal with the stress? Could you deal with it? Don't tell me. Don't tell me. It's like a backup in case you get sick. Yeah, he could. If I got COVID, we're calling him Maddie.

Although he does work at the same time as we're on. This is more important, right? Yeah, no, no. Stuff TV. Yes, we need to get down here. All right, well, the secret sound. It's all thanks to our friends at Neon. $50,000. You can watch

TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis by Kiwis on Neon. There's a free 14-day trial as well. Neontv.co.nz T's and C's apply. Joining us this morning is Caitlin. Good morning, Caitlin. Hi. Alright, you managed to get through. That's the first hard bit.

Yes. Oh my god, I can't believe I got through. The second hard bit is telling us what this sound is. For $50,000, what is the secret sound? I think it's flicking a cigarette lighter. Oh. Okay, up close that could sound. There's a bit of... Yeah. A win to it.

Have you looked at the clues? Have I what, sorry? Have you looked at the clues, Caitlin? Yeah, I have. And I think I've made it fit somehow. Because that's the thing. Made it work. That's the thing.

The clues are very cryptic, aren't they? Yes. Well, they can't be too easy. So how have you made the fit? The three movies, I mean, they're chick flicks. Yep. Flicks. Oh, great.

Chick flicks. And then the second clue, the skeleton smoking. Okay, yes, that works. And then the first one is a bit of a stretch, but there is an episode of The Office where Dwight sort of sets a rubbish bin on fire. Okay, Vaughan, you've got a lighter. I don't know why.

Yeah, that's questionable. Always carry a lighter and a knife. For someone that doesn't smoke. Okay, put that up close. Oh. Yeah, okay. Could be a different type of lighter. This is your standard bit.

Could be a Zippo or something. Gonna burn the microphone. That's just without the... Yeah. Oh, is that just the button? That's just the button. Just leave the gas out. Okay.

What do you think, Hayley? I can hear where Caitlin's gone with this. I get it, because we've all agreed there's a bit of a frr to it. Yeah. Some kind of da-da-da-da. All right. That would suit a lighter. Okay, Caitlin.

For 50 grand, we're locking your guess in. And I'd like to let you know... Mm-hmm. That is not the secret sound. Oh, Caitlin, good guess. So Georgia has your next chance at 11 o'clock and then chances throughout the day. The clues that we've had are the wrong guesses.

ZM secret sound on Instagram. Good luck. Good luck. Ten past eight. Next on the show, the weird rules that you have in your relationship. Yes. Kim's given Pete. It's not so weird, it makes sense.

It makes sense, it does, yeah. But it doesn't feel like it's helpful to a relationship, this rule she's given Pete. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.