ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 29th August 2022

Episode Date: August 28, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Fawn and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. Hayley joins us today for the podcast and the show from home. Hi guys. Recovering with C19. I've got the C19 coursing through me.

It should be back in studio Wednesday, maybe? Back in studio Wednesday. Yeah. I think so. Okay. And, Vaughn, you've had an event. People will hear on the podcast today your event for weekend, but something we don't mention on the podcast today

is that you're down a drink bottle. Wow, it still works. I ran over my drink bottle with the quad bike, the motorbike Oh, that looks fucked Like, it's dented, but it still holds water But I feel like, because it's designed to keep the temperature, whatever temperature you get in there, hot or cold Oh, it's vacuum packed It'll keep it in there, but I feel like it might have, the inside vacuum thing might have perforated

Because I can feel one part of the bottle's really cold so that may be where the water's leaking out. Also, that was a complimentary drink bottle from Katmando, I believe. It was, yes. And so just chuck it out and get a new one. It still works. That's where you should do a phone-in tomorrow. What did you run over but it still worked?

Oh, that's pretty good. That's a great idea, great idea. That's pretty good. Wow, you're really giving people a peek behind the curtain, aren't you? We could do that. That's how that started. Let me turn to the producers to give them a nod You do owe Anna an apology

I don't know if she'll be taking this Can you just give Anna her apology She has waited hours I don't owe Anna an apology Yes you do Just a quick one Just get it over with This is what happens

You're always late to work And you never listen Well I'll give you that But then the party don't start Till I walk in That's not what happens when the party starts. No, the party is popping. The party is popping before you get there.

I don't want to go to the party, mum. We are doing an impossible phone-in today. And I was looking through the texts on the machine. One of the very earliest texts that was there. I looked at the phones. There's nothing lined up call-wise. They were talking to her. She was there. I looked at the phones. There's nothing lined up call-wise. They were talking to her. She was gone.

This happens all the time. We have callers ready to go, and then they disappear, and then I always give a quick look to the phones, and it was empty, and then I look back, and I start reading the text message out, and Fletch gives me this fucking look that would break glass. Haley gave it to you as well. She knew what was happening.

And then I'm like, what? He's like, we've got the caller. And I look again and I'm like, we don't. And then the dialing starts happening and there'd been some drop off. But I'm not to know that the phones have failed. So I just, and then everyone says I owe an apology because I wasn't listening. But I was listening. All the time we lose these callers.

I'm trying to run a fluid show here. Keep everything running like water, baby. You are the only speed bump this show has. I am. And I'll be back on Wednesday. I'm so sorry you're in there. He fell asleep in the shower this morning. No, I've been.

Play with yourself after work. No, I don't play with myself before work because that will just put me back to sleep. Like everybody else. Look, we all wait. We all wait until 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock? What are you doing in the car on the way home? Why do you drive so fast and erratically out the northwest?

You're always following me. I'm like, get out of my eye line, Vaughn. I'm like driving all the time. Beep, beep. Hey, Hayley. Beep, beep. Oh, Jesus. Just get out of it.

Get out of it. No, God, no. I wouldn't do that before work. I'd bloody nod off properly in the shower. You don't need a shower before work. Always shower in the morning and at night. Why are you showering in the morning? You're getting later and later.

The water table's up, so I'm just doing my part of using water to try to bring the water table down. It's not a thing. And I can smell myself at that time of the day. You've got to shower, but then, yeah, I feel like I nodded off. I can't confirm that I did. And we're back to moving houses It's not dry enough

To be moving houses Those big trucks That move houses You know how they don't do it In the middle of winter When it's really wet This is Vaughn's excuse Every second day

For being late to work They were moving a house Oh there was a house They're always moving Fucking houses And Hayley's like I never saw a house On that road today

No but to be fair I leave half an hour before. She's at work when I'm just thinking about leaving. Otherwise known as the house moving hour. You've just given yourself your own lesson, Vaughn. You're just going to leave half an hour earlier. Yeah, not shower. That means I have to get up half an hour earlier. No, fuck that.

I won't do it. Yeah, welcome. I won't do it. Welcome to 4 No, fuck that. I won't do it. Yeah, welcome. I won't do it. Welcome to 4am. I simply won't do it. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

I'm Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. One minute past six. And she's back. Back and better than ever. From home. I don't know. It doesn't sound like it. It's still, it's lingering, isn't it?

You might hear some mm-mm-mm-ing from me today, but it's so much better. Oh my God, there were a couple of dark days there, guys. Taste and smell. Gone. Gone, still gone. Absolutely gone. It's one of the, that was sort of, that came late.

Like all the real bad symptoms, like the really bad cough and throat and stuff, that was early. And then that kind of started to get better and I was like, I'm on the mend.

And then me and Aaron were both eating something and I was like, can you taste this? And he was like, no. So like at the same time as well. Yeah,

we've had almost identical journeys. Yeah. Am I right? So cute. Yeah, because couples had almost identical journeys. Am I right? So cute. Yeah, because couples that symptom together stay together. Because like Sade did it like five days after me and I was like, who are you actually doing COVID with?

Yeah, exactly. You're not even doing COVID with me. You're doing it with one of the other thousands of people now affected because it's rampant in the community. It's great kind of getting it out of the way together, for sure, like we're done. But no one's looking after anyone. Do you know what I mean?

Because we're both sort of like on our own. I must say I did like being doted on for a few days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas like we'd just sort of wake up in the morning and say, how are you? Terrible. How are you? Alsorible. How are you? Also terrible.

Also terrible. And then just like go about our days. All right, coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. Cheating apparently is through the roof at the University of Auckland. Goodness me. So much cheating. So I've got the top six signs your workmate cheated their way through university.

Oh, right. Because you're allowed a bit of help still. For like marks, right? For exams. Who? Because of all the absences. Because of all the disruptions and stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you're not allowed to help like looking at what your person next to you is doing in an exam sort of help. You are entitled to recompense of some marks, but you're still not allowed to cheat. So I've got the top six signs your workmate cheated their way through university and yes, Hayley, academic cheating, not relationship cheating. Which I'd imagine is a problem at every

university. For sure, yeah. Next on the show, the cost of living crisis is coming for something that we love. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the cost of living crisis that is gripping the world at the moment could be coming for the humble fish and chip. No. No. The humble fish and chip.

Now, this story first out of England, basically because of the cost of oil and the fish and the chips themselves, fish and chip owners, shop owners are saying it could become too expensive. Yeah. Oil, fish and chips, those are the key ingredients. It's everything you need and want. Oh, no. Even the price of fish and chips is something. Like now?

Compared to what it used to be. Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah, because they've got, it'll say like chips, you know, $3.50 or $4 a scoop now. That's up on what it used to be. And then it'll say fish, and the fish will be like $4. And then beside it, it'll have fish with names. Oh, the name fish is always more.

Snapper, terkihi is written there, and it's $8. And you're like, now, how is this such a massive price difference? And so you say, for the children, for example, I'll say just two ordinary fish and then two pieces of snapper for mum and dad. And then you get the fish without a name, and you see why it costs less. It may have been processed when the years still started with 19. Or it could be dolphin.

You don't know. Oh no, dolphin's delicious. It's not dolphin. It was always shark. Shark was what you were getting. Yeah. You were getting something. A thick grey one. Yeah, something that shouldn't be on the trawler. An accidental catch. Yeah. So in England, it's the soaring price of cod, sunflower oil and energy.

So I don't know if you know at the moment, but in England, energy prices are through the roof. Like 80% in some places. Wow. Like their power has gone up. Why is British power more expensive? Because of their reliance on Russian gas? Because they're pot. Yeah.

Yeah, right. expensive. Because of their reliance on Russian gas? Yeah. Crank up this nuclear power plant, say, like really you know how you can put the microwave on defrost or you give it full power? I reckon put it on full. Hell yeah. Get it done. So what, to heat up the oil? Literally every step of making fish and chips

has become significantly more expensive. And also the spin-off as well did an article yesterday in the same vein, and they've talked to people around the country, and same thing here. It's just getting way more expensive for fish and chips. People are going to have to switch to the humble potato fritter because the great thing about the fritter is you order one

and you get four. But you still need the oil and the heating. Yeah. And the heating. Yeah. And the potato. Why don't they need to get a thingy fryer, air fryer? Oh, yeah. Get it from Kmart. Just go to air fryers.

Yeah, move to the air fryer. It won't be the same, guys. No, it won't be the same. No, because that's why you love it. Because it's soaked in fat. That's what makes it yum. It's going to become a health food. So you can justify fish and chips any night of the week.

Yeah. Because it's a health food. Because it's a health food. I wonder if you could air fry the pink hot dog. That's the number one. That is so good. The battered hot dog on a stick. Yeah, battered pink hot dog.

Yeah, you pull off the batter and it's pink underneath. Yeah. Because for me, it's always the crab stick, battered pink hot dog. Yeah, you pull off the batter and it's pink underneath. Yeah. Because for me, it's always a crab stick, which I know is controversial. Don't do me. We did a final rankings, didn't we, on fish and chip orders. And you had crab sticks. Well, whether you like a crab stick or a hot dog or a fritter or whatever, get into it now because it's going up.

The prices are going up. And you know what this is going to lead to? People doing homemade fish and chips, and that's just an absolute kitchen fire waiting to happen. I thought you were about to say ram raids, and they'll start a fry up. Oh, ram raid the fish and chip shop. Yeah.

Don't ram raid the fish and chip. Don't ram raid any shop. No. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Well, the Miss England Beauty competition Beauty pageant has been Absolutely shook by one of the contestants Who's made it all the way to the

Semi-final I believe Okay No she has made it to the semi-final Now moving on to the final of Miss England This contestant Melissa who's from South London South London South London she's a 20 year old politics

student she has been competing with her bare face I mean ooh yuck people are aghast that's yuck her whole thing was absolutely not a drop of make up right and she's competing against other people that have the full pageant glam.

Now, I will say of this, I mean, brave, you know, hashtag brave. Yeah. But I will say of this woman, I mean, she's facially blessed. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, you wouldn't make it this far into the competition with no makeup if you weren't, right? Yeah. I mean, not a pimple in sight.

She's got beautiful blue eyes and this clear skin and nice, bushy, natural brow. So you hate her? I hate her. She's the grips of a breakout. I didn't even know that Miss Anythings were

a thing anymore. I honestly thought over COVID it put a lot of things to bed. I thought the Miss Universe, Miss World things were done for, you know. You thought that COVID had ended that, not the fact that we're all past that. No, no, no, definitely. I felt like that was on the way out, but then when COVID happened

it seemed like a great way to just stop doing things and pretend that they hadn't happened for ages. I think with the pageants nowadays like that's the thing is they are changing because yeah people are like what is this? Like this is a competition we judge you on how beautiful you are

and now it is way more about like what do you stand for and your cause and whether or not you've got great clear skin and perfect teeth and whether or not you've got great clear skin and perfect teeth and naturally rosy lips, where mine often go a bit grey and purple. You've got grey lips, do you?

You get a bit of a grey lip. I get a bit of a grey lip. But that's because of your wine. You're always drinking the red wine, so you look a bit like purple. I'm a bit of a red wine lip. You've got purple lips. That would actually assist your lovely pin-on shade on the lip. Yeah, they go grey. They go a dark purple. No, yeah, yeah, a on the lip. Yeah, they go grey.

They go a dark purple. No, yeah, yeah. A purpley grey. You're right. That's what it is. Bugger. No, I know we can't throw stones, New Zealand, but has England ever won Miss Anything?

Because normally, like, it's normally America or, like, the hot, you know, like Venezuela, Colombia, South America. Yeah, you put the ricos. Yeah. I know. Americas. Yeah, South Americas. Yeah, your Puerto Ricos. Oh, yeah. I know, I don't know if any of these loves are going to win. I don't know. If I have a little look at them, I'm like, hmm. No, they're all very gorgeous, but it is,

you sort of see that like most of the contestants, especially like England, they love their like orange tan and their big, their big, like fake teeth and stuff. And they have like heavy lashes where where their eyes are almost closed. They're so heavy. It's not really a rest of the world look, is it? No, and then you see her and she looks like a Kiwi because she's got this sort of natural...

Down to earth look about her. 1964. Really? Yep, that's when the UK won The title of Miss World It was in London So home field advantage Right Yeah

Oh yeah but the gals in the 60s The 60s in England They were beautiful The roaring 60s Yeah I mean we've all seen Austin Powers That's all I can think of The fembo

Yeah that's all I can think of Is Austin Powers As soon as you see that They've got lasers's nipples. Of course they're going to win. Of course they won. Exactly. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

Fletchford and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee?

I prefer not to have a panic attack. You're a not coffee. You're a no coffee. I'm a no coffee still. Even after all these breakfast hours, occasionally you'll cave in and it's fun for us to watch. Oh, it's so bad. I need a cough.

Today's one of the days. I wish I hadn't done that. Well, hot coffee takes it out. Two thirds of people voted for hot coffee. One third, iced coffee. So 66% for hot coffee. One third ice coffee. So 66%. For hot. James, hot coffee in winter,

ice coffee in summer. So predictable, James. That's so obvious. Yeah, I mean... Aren't you supposed to drink hot drinks to cool you down? Friend of the show, James, he'll, when we go out,

he'll always get an ice coffee. Doesn't matter if it's winter or summer. Just doesn't do hot coffee. God, his hands must be cold in the winter, wrapped around an iced coffee. He wears mittens. He wears mittens. He's got mittens.

Oh, he's got mittens on his head. Can I say at this stage that at McCafe, you can download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee, hot or cold. You can get iced or hot. Oh. Can I give a personal endorsement for the application? Okay, yes, absolutely.

I prefer to say application. You're collecting your points, aren't you? Have you got enough? Dude, this points system, it's broken. You get too many points. What do you mean you get too many points? Too many freebies. You get too many freebies.

That's so shit. Don't say that. They're going to go under. Don't say that. I'm worried about them. Honestly, if we all get the app, we might sink them. Okay. We don't want that.

The kids like a combo each, and I've got enough points to almost get another combo. Well, that's good. Did you get a combo? That's madness. It's madness. No, I said just shy. Just shy.

I could have got like a hash brown. There you go. That's unpaid. Yeah, that's unpaid endorsement. Well, there you go. You need no... That's unpaid. Yeah, that's unpaid endorsements. Well, they're paying the show, but they're not paid by Vaughan Smith. Right, yeah. Send your invoice in, I reckon.

Yeah, I reckon I might just tuck them an invoice for that one. It's a personal one. Well, don't tell them they're giving away too many points. Download the app. I don't think they're giving away too many points. You know who needs to take a leaf out of their book? Petrol stations. Yeah.

Oh, for every tank of gas, you get a free tank of gas. Yeah, I like that. That's basically what it's going for there. Polly writes, iced when I'm hungover. Nothing like cold black bean juice running through my veins when I really should be drinking water. Does an espresso martini count as a cold, as a sort of an icy coffee? Oh, it's definitely on the cold side of the coffee scale, isn't it?

Don't know if that's going to help you hang over or make it worse. No, hair of the dog. Hair of the dog. Hair of the dog. It's a furious dog. It's a very hairy dog. Mel says coffee is yuck. Mel.

Okay, Mel, this one wasn't for you. You don't have to shit on everybody else. Yeah. Even though if you were going to shit, a coffee would definitely help. Yeah. We'll see how we get it all moving. Vaughan's lowered himself to use my instant coffee this morning. He has.

Oh, he came groveling, didn't he? I think, and I honestly will, I think we need to check the security cameras here at work. I think a weekend employee has taken the good instant coffee because there was so much of it at the end of last week. No, they did a clear out over the weekend because of the moth infestation. Oh, stop it.

But the Milo and everything's still here. There's Milo and the sugar and everything else is still full. All the good instant coffee containers are empty. We need to talk about this infestation. Luckily, it's happened while you're away because for those that don't know, Hayley has a big fear of the MO. TH. THs. I'm not big fear of the emo. TH. THs.

I'm not coming back to the office. I opened a cupboard before and it was almost like an old 1950s Warner Brothers cartoon that how comical it was that the moths flew out.

Right. Good to see that they cleaned them out over the weekend. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Kelly writes, hot coffee for me

unless it's an espresso martini. That is the only way to have cold coffee. There you go. There's your gal. Ash said, I had my first iced latte today at 125 calories. It's a win for me. That's the good thing about a black iced coffee. Yeah.

It's guilt free. Yeah. Absolutely guilt free. Oh, no guilt. Unless you've just done something really bad like robbed someone. Nah, relax. Yeah, a little bit of guilt if you're having a black iced bad, like robbed someone. Nah, relax. Yeah, a little bit of guilt if you're having a black ice coffee after a ram ray. Nah, just relax, you know.

Just relax into it. Ice coffee for casual occasions, hot coffee for professional occasions. That's Kelsey's rule on coffee. So you were having a business meeting. You don't rock him with your straw. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle the ice in the room, everything. And then just chuck it in the bin at the end. Tash says, I'm a teacher, so my coffee always goes cold.

That's the thing. You need a thermal cup. Yeah. You need a thermal cup there. Thermal keep cup. Shayla says, I refuse to vote because why not both? Oh, can't choose. But then no one's going to get in.

Yeah, well, that's the world. Yeah, Shayla's a libertarian. She thinks we shouldn't even be asked these questions. Okay. Just for a smaller government. Ah, that's a silly little pop. I guess the flowers aren't just used for big apologies. I guess I should have been more conscious how you spoke to me.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I'm a chronic loser. You're a loser, baby. I mean, the first step is admitting it. Thank you. I'm a chronic loser. I'm always losing things, losing my keys, losing my phone is the worst.

The best thing I ever did was get an Apple Watch, and not for the fitness and the actual watch bits, but the ding. Yeah, so you can find your phone. I always apping my phone and it's like searching. And then it's on the couch where you just sit. Underneath your bum.

And then sometimes my watch was like, we'll be like, which phone? Your iPhone 12 or your iPhone 5? And you're like, you never met my iPhone 5. You leave iPhone 5 the hell out your mouth. You've got to erase it. I use my iPhone 5 and you're like, you never met my iPhone 5. You leave iPhone 5 the hell out

your mouth. You've got to erase it. I use my iPhone 5 for things that you need not know about. Stop asking about my iPhone 5 watch. Keys is a chronic one. That's the dad thing for me. My dad was always losing his keys.

He's like, not for the best of times. My dad was a big, keys always go in like, Oh, my dad. The best of times. My dad was a big, keys always go in exactly the same place. Like if you took a key and you didn't put it back on the key ring, he'd be like, the key's not back on the key ring. And he'd notice.

He would know. Straight away. Yeah. Do you remember those things in the, were they like the late nineties or early two thousands? They were like, and you whistle and they'd go, and they'd hear a whistle and they'd respond to it.

What? They were like these in big black cases. Yeah. And all you'd have to do is whistle and it would set them off. That's cool. Do you remember those toys in the 90s, in the early 90s, these little fluffy toys, and the idea was you'd hide them. Furbies?

Nah, pre-furby, a much simpler time. You'd hide them, and they basically were just one-furby. A much simpler time. You'd hide them and they basically were just one of those key things inside the fluffy toy. You'd hide them and then you'd walk around the house whistling. Trying to find them. Right. Well, you know the modern equivalent now are the air tags. The air tags or the tile. Because you can ping an air

tag and it'll beep. Does it beep? It does beep, yeah. Because the tile doesn't beep, does it? Whereas the air tags do, yeah. Yeah, okay. I need one of yeah. Because the tile doesn't beep, does it? Whereas the, no, the ear tags do, yeah. Yeah, okay, I need one of those. So, because everyone's losing their keys right, all the time, because I don't even need my keys to

open my car, you know what I mean? Like they can just sort of be in the vicinity. Dangerous though. It's handbag keys. If you see my car, you could probably steal it quite easily. Well, a psychologist has chimed in, giving us some tips on how to never lose your keys ever again. Oh.

Is that the sound that you get out of one of those? That's an ear tag. That's pretty good. I always thought it would be real meagre, like... No, no. Oh, it's cute. Oh, that's really good. It's a pop.

I think they've just updated it so they're louder than they used to be. But yeah. Okay, I need this. You can't lose those around the house. Okay, so psychologist tips on how to never lose your keys again. Number one is make sure you don't have ADHD or dementia. Okay, great start. Get those gone off the list.

If that's not the case, here are the tips. Give everything a home, like Vaughan's father. Maybe you want to get a nice little dish at the door. Oh yeah. It's not in this house yet, but we stole a little key hook thing from one of the rentals

we were renting once. And it was really cute. Is it shaped like a key and it's got hooks on it? No, it's shaped like an anchor and it's got these little... We ripped it off the wall and took it really cute. Is it shaped like a key and it's got hooks on it? No, it's shaped like an anchor and it's got these little – Oh, okay. And we ripped it off the wall and took it with us. So give it a home. But that doesn't make a difference because I just come in

and I just ignore that. Right. Hold off sitting down. As soon as – like, don't come in the house and sit down. You lose momentum and then you're like, oh, wait, hang on, what did I do? You've got to have a plan, like walk in the door, shoes off, keys there, go for a ride.

That's what I do. Keys always just get slapped on the end of the bench. Keys and wallet. Yeah, on the little hallway dresser thing. Yeah. Always there. But it's not easy being perfect. I'll tell you that.

But it's becoming, every time we do one of these things and the experts weigh in and they're agreeing with me, it feels good. It does, yeah. It does feel good. The other thing, the next step is to go big. Like, you know, you see those people that have, I mean, like you've got a tape measure on your key ring. Yeah.

Vaughan, you know, a lot of people have like a big pom-pom or something. Oh, it's too much large key ring because you've got to put them in your pocket. I used to have a key ring so heavy that when I had a car with an ignition that you put your key in, it used to fall out. Oh, pull it out. I love that when your car gets so old that the

ignition's sloppy, and it just, the key will just, you can turn the car on and then take the key out. I had a floppy, sloppy ignition. If you'd had a key in you for like 30 years, you'd be all sloppy too. Oh, God, yes. You just want to know. My old car needed to do its kegels.

Its kegels. Kegels. Hey, whoa. She's writing a type five, ladies and gentlemen. Put that one. Put that one in the bloody Best Foods Gala set. Best Foods Comedy Gala coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm like, you might hear that joke.

I'm just going to write that down. Oh, you're really happy with that, aren't you? You should be around comedians. It's weird when they say something funny and other comedians like it. They're like, better write that down. And they literally take a note on their phone. But is that also to tell other comedians in the room, back off? That was mine.

Yeah, 100%. It's pretty much the equivalent of just weeing all over it. And you have to claim it. Be like the room, back off, that was mine. Yeah, 100%. It's pretty much the equivalent of just weeing all over it. And you have to claim it. Be like, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, writing that down. Writing that down, writing that down. Wow, okay.

No, kegels for my old Mazda 3. Tech support. So things like the tile or the ding-ding that you've got, the fancy one. And then they say, just calm down. Is their last tip, just calm down. Because you know when you get into a frazzle? Yeah.

The worst time I ever lost my keys was when I moved from Wellington to Auckland and I packed up my entire life in a car and then I realised the keys were amongst it and I couldn't leave. And I was driving my parents around and they didn't have a spear. So then I had to unpack my entire life and then I ended up not even leaving that day because I was so my parents around and didn't have a spear. So then I had to unpack my entire life

and then I ended up not even leaving that day because I was so frazzled. So just calm down. Calm down. Get an ear tag or a tile if you don't want to lose your keys. It's honestly the best way. Or a big, ugly pom-pom. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the Panoramic ZM Think tank, this is the top six. Cheetah, cheetah, pumpkin eater. What did you call me? Had a wife and something, something, Auckland University. I was like, Vaughan, do you not remember the words? And then I was like, oh, I won't say them. No.

Yeah, no. Yeah, when you get older, that takes on a new meaning, doesn't it? Peter, oh, I won't say them. No. Yeah, no. Yeah, when you get older, that takes on a new meaning, doesn't it? Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. Auckland University has the most cheats. La, la, la, la, la. How did they work this out? Who admitted to it? No, so they get caught.

They've got software that scans and compares and there's all this amazing software. How's this? Listen to this. Cheating cases upheld at Auckland University during pandemic years were up 153% from 2019. Canterbury's up 214%. Victoria, a measly nine. Nerds.

Waikato, five. And Otago, 19. So they're saying cheating spiked in 2020 and went back down. However, Auckland bucked the trend. They have had nothing but an exponential increase. So the year 2019, they had just under 500 cases of cheating upheld. Right. 2021? Over a thousand. So was this

just plagiarism or is it online exams? Multiple types of cheating. Yes, plagiarism. That's one of them. Cheating in exams and doing things like buying entire assignments online. Oh my god. How pissed would you be if you bought an assignment online

and then that person plagiarised it and you got caught? You'd be like, ugh. Or it just wasn't a good assignment and you failed. Yeah. I didn't even write it. Yeah. Well, you paid good money for it. Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't get you anything. Auckland University Associate Professor Jason Stevens says, cheating is actually normal human behaviour. But a university's job is to encourage students to develop integrity instead. But if you've got tiger parents, then I'm imagining integrity is not going to be as good as passing, for example. Yeah. I was really good at rewording.

So you do a copy and paste from Wikipedia and then I would reword and then I would cite a different website. Nice. It was a three-step process. But you went to uni, you went to actor school. No, no, no, this was at high school. Oh, right. You can't cheat at drama school.

You either look like a pancake or you're not a pancake. Yeah. Are you telling me that you are a pancake as the, you know, first bubble pops through the top indicating that the bottom of the pancake is almost ready to be cut? You can't cheat that. No, you can't. This is either a perfect American accent or it's not.

Or it's not. You know? But you gave it a go. You did, yeah. You can't cheat. Top six signs your workmate cheated their way through university. Number six, they say things like, I'm very interested on how you'd approach the issue.

Oh, yeah, classic. See, they're like interested in you, so you'd be like, you're a little bit flattered. Yeah. You give them the answer because they didn't know it. Number five. Would that work with a doctor if you're saying, I've got a rash?

Perhaps. What do you think it is? And they'll say, I want to hear what you think. What do you're saying, I've got a rash? Perhaps. What do you think it is? And they'll say, I want to hear what you think. What do you think? Does your doctor have a computer? Maybe we should stop talking about doctors because it's one of the numbers coming up. Number five on the list of the top six signs

your workmate chatted their way through university. Your accountant isn't sure what the T in GST stands for. Oh, that's a bad sign. Yeah. That's the big one. Yeah. You know, the goodies and smiles. Yeah.

Tag. Tag. Yeah. You paid that. Number four on the list of the top six signs your workmates shared their way through university. When your doctor says. Ooh, this is going to be clever.

When your doctor says, now what do you call this thing? As they prod your butthole. Now, is this where the poopies comes out? Is this where the poopies comes out or where you put food in? What do you use this one for? If your doctor said,

is this where the poopies come out? You'd be like, I need a new doctor. Even the idea of them prodding, like boop, boop, boop, boop. What does that do? Boopity boop boop. What is this thing? Oh my God, it opens.

Number three on the list of the top six signs your workmate chatted their way through university. Your psychologist spells it physio-cologist. That's why I couldn't do psychology. I have to take at least five seconds to work out psychology and psycho and physio. I couldn't be a physiotherapist or psychologist or what's the other one? Rhythmic gymnastic? I probably couldn't do that. Rhythmic gymnast? Rhythm

rhythm. Yeah, can't spell that out. And number two on the list of the top six signs your workmate chatted their way through university. Your early childhood educator doesn't know the Play-Doh recipe off the top of their head. Yeah. You've got to know that. And you don't even need to measure you just, if't know the Play-Doh recipe off the top of their head. Yeah. You've got to know that. And you don't even need to measure.

You just, if you're making Play-Doh that often, you're just doing it by eye now. You feel it. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six signs your workmate cheated their way

through university, your lawyer reckons you should probably just plead guilty even though you are absolutely innocent. It'll probably, it just, it's going to be easier. Yeah.

It's going to be cheaper. Just, you know. And is jail even that bad? Three meals? Yeah. Three meals and a smuggled cell phone. It's like a bloody holiday. That's today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Impossible phone a time. So this is something... We think it's so impossible that no one's going to call. But people always call. Normally it's pretty possible, isn't it? Yeah. And as of late, I think we've made them far too possible.

But this one is absolutely ridiculous. This is a story I reckon a lot of people would have seen involving the guy who is, quote, the nicest guy in Hollywood, Keanu Reeves. And you would have seen over the weekend... Long time Keanu fan. Yeah. Keanu fan.

Especially Wednesday, the next John Wick must be out soon. What's boh? That's gotta be imminent. So good. John Wick's baw? That's got to be imminent. Baw. So good. John Wicks are amazing. That's his excitement noise. That's my excitement noise.

Baw. I'm going to get on the Wick bandwagon. Oh, it's so good. Well, Keanu was sitting at a bar in the British town of Northamptonshire. Excuse me. Okay. That's my COVID. Yep.

And he was sitting at the bar of a hotel and a couple came up to him and were like, oh my God, it's Keanu Reeves. Yeah. And they're like, hi, Keanu. And he was so friendly and he said, hey, how are you? And they said, we're actually getting married here tomorrow. You know, ha, ha, ha, come along. He was like, hey, well, you know, like if I'm here,

I certainly will. And they thought that was the end of it. Lovely chat, nice guy. Then they're having that was the end of it. Lovely chat. Nice guy. Then they're having their wedding and the day's going perfectly already. And then the hotel staff come up and they say, oh, there's a special guest who's hoping to attend. And Keanu Reeves, he crashes the wedding. I mean, they did invite him.

They did invite him. Yeah. They did invite him. He turned up. He took photos with them. He like chatted with fans. He said they offered him a drink and he was like, no took photos with them he like chatted with fans he said, they offered him a drink and he was like no no no look I've had

I'm a bit jet lagged at the moment because he'd come from America he said so I won't stay for long but I just wanted to come and enjoy your day with you they said it absolutely made their day, he was such a nice guy the embarrassing bit though is when he was posing for photos with the couple the mum was like taking the photos and she kept saying,

okay, three, two, one, say speed. Oh, no. Like he's done so much. Three, two, one, say house by the lake. The lake house or whatever that movie was. Yeah. Anyway, a little bit embarrassing, but they said it absolutely made their already perfect day

so much more perfect. He truly is the nicest guy in Hollywood. He is so nice. So the impossible phoner today is... Has a celebrity ever crashed your wedding? Or have you... I'll accept, have you been to a wedding where a celebrity has kind of...

Has crashed. ...hopped up? Okay. Because, yeah, this is hard. So the celebrity... Yeah, not do you know someone famous and they came to your wedding. Okay. Because this is hard. Do you know someone famous and they came to your wedding? Okay. So the celebrity can't have been invited?

We're not taking calls from people that have been to a wedding with a celebrity there? No. I think in this way that they're invited, like hey, come along as if he would. That's fine. But there was no tie to the family or guests? No tie to the family.

Okay. So if you've been to a wedding and I was there and you were overwhelmed, that doesn't count. Obviously not. No. That doesn't count. Okay. I get it.

I mean, there could have been. You do see these stories all the time in the news. Like Tom Hanks did it, didn't he? Yeah. Went up to some wedding. Yeah, he's like, clones are doing that. Yeah. Crashing thatrashing people's photos

and stuff. Piss off, Tom Hanks. How great would it be to tell Tom Hanks to piss off? No, but he's so nice. Do you know how much I've paid for this photographer?

You're ruining my photos. Get out of here. You're cutting into our time, Tom Hanks. Yeah. All right, well, this could be the impossible phoner.

Have you ever had a celebrity crash your wedding or a wedding that you've been to? 0800 DARS at Em the number. Give us a call now. You can text as well, 9696. We'll come back next and see if we can find anyone.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the impossible phone-in topic, a topic we think is so impossible we won't get any calls or texts about. And I think I might have done it this time. Well, I will say this has been one of the hardest in a long time. We're not overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed, but there's still some reports.

Still some reports. Still some reports. So we wanted to know if you have ever had a wedding or been to a wedding that has been crashed by a celebrity after Keanu Reeves popped into a wedding in London. The rules are the celebrity can't have been invited. Like, he's not friends with the family. That doesn't count, he or she. That doesn't count.

No connection to the family. They've just kind of gate crashed or you've seen them and been like, come to my wedding, and then they actually turned up. Those are accepted stories. Vaughan's messages in. How are we looking on the text machine? Well, someone said we

got married in Rarotonga 13 years ago today. What? I believe we may have, we may just be trying them. Oh, on their anniversary. They're probably having a little... Kate, good morning Good morning, how are you doing?

Good morning, what's the story? Oh, well it's our wedding anniversary today 13 years Congratulations, 13 Unlucky for some But I reckon you guys are already power through Yeah, I think so So yeah, we got married in Rarotonga

Beautiful wedding Pristine weather And as you know Sort of when you're on the beautiful tropical islands So, yeah, we got married in Rarotonga. Beautiful wedding. Pristine weather. And as you know, sort of when you're on the beautiful tropical islands and you're getting married on the sand, the water's really not too far away. And just as the ceremony was starting, Kimi Ueda-Morrison sort of did a bit of a stroll past where the speedos are. Jake the Moss. Wow.

Amazing. 13 years ago, we're talking 2009, Tim. What was he doing at the time? Was that a quiet time for him movie-wise or was he in the middle of something? I think it was a bit of a quiet time, but I think he quite liked the attention of people sort of saying, is that him?

Is it? He loves that. He's a good man. He's a great man. We've interviewed him a few times. He's just bloody lovely. So Uncle Tim's... He's a good man. He's a great man. We've interviewed him a few times. He's just bloody lovely. So Uncle Tim's... He was a good sport.

There was a couple of flexes from him, so... Uncle Tim's speedo bulge made an appearance at your wedding. I love it. I mean, you know, he's big in the Star Wars world and he's a big celebrity. Oh, my God, he's absolutely massive. I think we've done it, Hayley. Hayley looks disappointed.

Yeah, look, Jake the Master, I mean, he's sort of related to everyone in New Zealand. You know, I don't know that... I'll take it. I can beat it. There's a text message that maybe... I mean, I don't want to do it in front of Kate, though, so she's probably going to have to go out of her way.

Oh, Kate, thank you, thank you. I mean, look, guys, I'm not unsure. No, Kate, it was... No, that absolutely counts. No, that, it was, no, that absolutely counts. No, that does count. Yeah, the impossible final was not impossible. And, Kate, happy anniversary. You're very happy with this.

All right, okay. Some texts. I got married at the Chateau in Ruapehu. Oh, that place is creepy as hell. And do you remember that mulled wine we had that time? At the Chateau? Yeah, they microwaved it in the Pyrex. I haven't had mulled wine we had that time? At the Chateau? Yeah, they microwaved it in the Pyrex. I haven't had mulled wine.

Who have you been drinking mulled wine with? It wasn't me. No, it was when we went down for the Alhacuna Mardi Gras. But then we would have been in Alhacuna. No, we were doing a bit of a tour around. It was you, I'm sure it was. No, it wasn't me. Well, anyway, I had a mulled wine and they literally poured red wine into a Pyrex.

Sorry if you've been romancing other men at the Chateau with mulled wine. No, it was definitely you. I've had high tea at the Chateau, but there was no mulled wine. Okay. So they were getting married at the Chateau Ruapehu and we looked into the crowd and watching us get married was Michael C. Hall who played Dexter. And it was so creepy because we were massive Dexter fans to look up. When was he here? I don't know.

Was he here? A holiday? He must. Well, or that or. Was he filming? Filming something? Dexter, the creepiest killer on television. Yeah, yeah.

Imagine him during your wedding looking up and the guy who plays him is like there with that classic deadpan. Oh my God. He's amazing. Yeah. So he was there. That was the celebrity that crashed their wedding. Wow. That's pretty good.

I'll accept that. Some of the Smoke and Joe Stanley count. There was an All Black. Former All Black. Former All Black. Sure, absolutely. Yeah, there was an All Black. He counts, right?

No Keanu Reeves, though. No Keanu Reeves. No Keanu Reeves. Dexter, though. Dexter's pretty bloody good. Yeah, that's a good one. Well, there you go. Not impossible.

Can I, you know, in my time on radio so far, I've interviewed a few famous people. Do you reckon I could invite them to my wedding? I reckon the Wiggles. Ed Sheeran seemed to like Lizzo. Lizzo was vibing with me.

Yeah, maybe. I mean, you can ask. I mean, we haven't been asked, but sure, no, ask Lizzo, of course. We're just keeping it small, Vaughan. We're just keeping it small. Right, yeah. Lizzo, Ed Sheeran and the Wiggles. Yeah, but if they could make it, like, of course I would like them to be there.

Sure. Sure. So I built a thing. It's been a lot. There's a lot of projects going on At the Smith House at the moment Is he? Yeah, building Extending the deck

Getting a big old deck Yep That was confusing to some people Especially our North American listeners Deck Like a porch Yeah How do you build it?

Well Vaughn watches the builders build it I get to screw in screws He gets to do a few of the screws I learnt to use a nail gun And I tell you what I'm not very good at that No Because there's parts of the wood Do you guys know there's parts of the wood

You can't shoot a nail into? No The knots But even if you can't see the knot on one side And it hits the knot It'll go like this The nail will go like this Really?

It goes around it Yeah it'll scoot around it hits the knot, it'll go like this. The nail will go like this. Oh, really? Yeah. It goes around it. Yeah, yeah. It'll scoot around it. God, don't worry about it. It goes a bit of trade chat. A bit of tradie chat. He's been on the tools.

Been on the tools. Yes, look at him. I, medium length listeners to the show might remember that last summer I sent my Highland cow away to be mated with.

Yes. To be tucked. So do you know if that's happened? To be what? Tupped. Tupped. It's a farming term. Oh, is it? It's just a funny way of describing animals making love. Ah, yep. She's at a tupping. Why don't they say what it is?

I think it is. That is what it is. Right. It's one of the terms for it. Do they do it for her or does a boy do it to her? Who is they? The people. Do the farmers pop it in? Oh, you mean like artificial insemination? No, no, no, no.

She went in and was romanced by Huey, a bull. Oh, okay. Dinner first? That was like a year ago, you said. So no, it was like summer. So her due date, if she is with calf, will be the end of September. And there's like some signs pointing towards that she is.

Okay. But she's also very testy. So we can't do like traditional pregnancy tests and stuff. Although I am seeing some teats. Could you just go to the supermarket and get a pregnancy test and just be there when it weaves? Actually, I don't know. Just hide behind her and be like, wee! I'll have some of that.

Wee! Or just, you know, you see her wee on the grass and just rub it in the grass. Smear it. Smear it on the grass. Because the grass might be pregnant. And then you're going to say, yes, congratulations, this grass is expecting to seed and grow more grass.

But it's been really wet lately, and with maybe perhaps a baby calf on the way, I was like, they do need some cover. So I've been looking at ordering a shed for the paddock. Shit, yes! And it is going to be a solid two minutes on my episode of Country Calendar. I'll be like, and with a calf on the way, he decided it was time to make a shed. And then I'll be

standing beside the shed and I'll be like, yeah, well, I'll just put some pies in the ground and then bloody, you know, put some six by two

on there and some four by two. This would be the most boring episode of Country Calendar in the world. It'd be pretty short. Yeah.

It'd be like a mini, it could be an online mini episode. Yeah, right. But anyway, yeah, I made a shed and I'm pretty stoked. It looks pretty good. Oh, I was quite impressed.

Yeah. I sort of imagined when you were talking about the kind of, you know, the roof and the poles and corrugated, I was like, it's going to look like an old shack, like a kind of a wood shack. Yeah. But it looks like an actual structure. Yeah. Like it looks sturdy,

doesn't it? Thank you. It looks sturdy. Thank you. Could we have drinks under there? I thought it would be kind of nice.

Absolutely. It catches the evening sun. Oh, lovely. Oh, it would be a... Table and chairs. Oh, it would be a lovely spot. You could have the barbecue

out there, cooking the very thing it's built to protect. It's not the calf. But yeah, so I'm finished that now. That's done. Right. What's next?

Next project, please. Oh, I need to build another fence. Got another fence around. I got the deck to finish. God, you always have to go. You have so much work for yourself. It's fun. You should get yourself an apartment.

There's like nothing. Yeah, no lawns, nothing. Yeah. Yesterday I watered my plants. I was like, God, that was hard. I've got to do that once a week. I'd be blind in a month. You've got to keep the air.

The devil makes work for idle hands. And these hands don't need to be idle for very long before the devil himself comes in. This is a study out of the United States looking at what Gen Z is. So the generation younger than me, younger than us, believed to be a viable career path for them in the future. Essentially, what do you want to be when you grow up?

And the studies revealed that a quarter of Gen Zers want to be an influencer, a social media influencer. So for those that don't know, researchers and popular media use the mid to late 90s as starting birth years and the early 2010s as ending birth years. Yeah, I believe it was between the ages of even 16 and 25. Right. And they want a quarter. So a quarter of them not only like want to, they got lots of like a lot of people thought it was like a viable career.

But a quarter of them are going to, are, like, moving towards becoming that. Right. And you don't blame them. So, you know, like, if you become a massive social media influencer, you can charge, like, a million dollars for a post. Yeah, but how many people are charging nothing for a post because nobody wants to advertise with them? Like, for every success story, there's a million failures.

Yeah, there is. I mean, that sounds very pessimistic. I mean, and it certainly helps if you're hot too. Like, if you're not hot. Oh, no, no, it doesn't help. It's a, you have to, you have to be hot. You have to be, yeah. Unless you're comedically ugly,

in which case that's sort of what's going to bring followers. Or exceptionally talented. Yeah, like good at piano. But still, hot helps. Yeah, hot always helps. Oh, yeah, absolutely. If you can play the piano, great. If you're hot and you can play the piano with maybe in a bikini,

there's your followers. Yeah. I could try that. Do you know, apparently as well, according to this, it's more men than women that are moving towards a career in the influencing sector. That's, you'd think it'd be a flooded market. I hadn't taken into consideration your gaming influences.

People that want to play games. Fitness bras. Yeah, yeah, bra. Travel. Travel bra. Your travel bras. Yeah. Okay. You've got your Fitness bras. Yeah. Yeah, bra. Travel. Travel bra. Treat your travel bras. Yeah. Okay.

You got your cooking bras. But there's always been, this is the latest, but there's always been like jobs that people are like, I'd love to do that. I could do that. You know, when you're a kid and you could, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whether you're a pop star or, you know, maybe you wanted to be on the radio.

Maybe. And your parents said, don't wanted to be on the radio. Maybe. And your parents said, don't be so foolish. Those people are professionals. They go through years of training and allocution lessons so they can speak clearly in a BBC-type accent. There is, you're right, though. There are trends of jobs. Like, mine was always pop star, vet, or teacher.

Like, those were the ones that everyone wanted to be. Vets still massive because they think it's just playing with animals and then they have to euthanise somebody's dog and it's not fun and games then, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or for the boys it was always like fireman, policeman or in the military because it was like cool uniforms and guns. Yeah.

You were getting to hold something big and phallic in your hands, weren't you? Yeah. Because firemen have got the big and phallic in your hands, weren't you? Yeah. Because firemen have got the hose, army dudes have got the guns, policemen have got the batons and the... What, did you want to be Fletch when you grew up, when you were a little boy? I always wanted to do radio. Yeah, nerd. Nerd, eh?

Oh, my God. So all your dreams have come true. Even when you were like a really little kid. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be on the radio, mum. Yeah. Shut up, Carl. Did you have a little kid. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to be on the radio, mum. Yeah. Shut up, Carl.

Did you have a little microphone? Yeah. And did you say things like, it's 16 to 8, mum? Yeah, totally. Totally. So you tell me you've been telling the time for probably near on 40 years and you still get it wrong twice a morning. All the time? Yeah.

I've said so many. There are so many numbers. You say times where we're not even on the radio, though. There are so many numbers. You say things like seven past three when it's three past seven. We're not even on the radio in the three o'clock hours. I don't say that. It's quarter to eight.

It is quarter to eight. I'm just double checking that. It's quarter to eight. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Get started. Get started. Get started. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I like, we've had multiple reports of just after I said, hey, you always say the time wrong, even though you've been practicing being on the radio since you were four years old.

You literally got the time wrong. Yeah, I know. It was a hilarious throwback joke. I don't think it was. Some people are... I don't think it was a callback. No, well, some people are taking that as I did that accidentally.

Callbacks aren't your thing. You're not that layered. I'm not that... I'm layered. I've done layered callbacks. No, he's not. You don't do layered callbacks. I've done layered...

Lowbrow, lowbrow. Very lowbrow. I've done layered callbacks. No, he's not. You don't do layered callbacks. I've done layered. Lowbrow. Very lowbrow. Oh, please. Very white trash. I'm more than tits and bum jokes. Come on. I'm layered.

You're not layered. Obvious comedy. Yeah, you're not layered. Yeah. Most obvious sitter. Don't you say what we're all thinking. Well, I mean, if you don't appreciate my layered humour, I'll just go back to the usual.

He's an onion. He's an onion. So don't get me started today. I've decided to initiate this segment today because of something I saw yesterday in the city. Now, I will say, I did say there was good and bad about this. I am loving seeing the turistas back in the city, the tourists. You're seeing people.

Ah, the Mexican tourists. Turistas. Turistas. No, lots of, I'm seeing lots of, like, people wheeling their suitcases through the city again. You know, because from the end of July. Oh, and that thing, like, those little wheels on the cobbles. Oh, yeah.

People with their backpacks. Someone at the weekend asked me how to get somewhere. You told them to piss off, didn't you? Just down there. I said, piss off. Piss off. No, I said it's just down there through the lights. It is great seeing people back in the country because we need the tourists.

Someone talked to you and he blew his whistle. He had a whistle around his neck and he was like. Leave me alone, stranger danger. But yesterday I saw a couple of tourists and they were waiting for the bus and this is what got me rolled up. They had sealed their suitcases in that plastic wrap. Chappelle, two words for you, two words, Chappelle and Corby. I cannot end up in a Balinese prison.

I cannot deal with people in this day and age that are still wrapping their suitcases in plastic. That was such a knee jerk to Chappelle, wasn't it? I remember the immediacy of those machines popping up. Yeah, absolutely. After Chappelle's boogie bag incident. Like, nobody's putting something in your suitcase. No one's stealing something out of your suitcase.

And also most of them have locks now. Or you can buy a belt with a lock on it. And what's the environmental impact of using 8,000 metres of glad wrap? Traditional lineal metres of glad wrap. Because it's so much wider. It's like eight glad wraps wide, right? They might be using the stuff that's made out of cornstarch, though, Vaughan. We don't know.

I hope so, Hayley. I hope so for the environment. But whoever's still doing this, it got me really worked up. For environmental reasons? Or just because you think it looks tacky? No, it's not even environmental reasons it pisses me off so much. It's just so needless. But it's theirs.

But don't you like to see it on the little machine? Okay, seeing the machine do it is quite fun. Yes. I'd like to see it on the little machine? Okay, seeing the machine do it is quite fun. Yes. I'd like to do it on the machine. You should follow around an agricultural contractor when they're doing baleage. When they make those little bales. When they wrap the bales.

In that blue grain stuff. That's like the same and it rolls the bale around and wraps it. It's very hypnotic to watch. Is that wasteful for the environment too? Oh, I would imagine terribly so. But it burns quite well, so probably not. Oh, okay. Okay, well, farmers are cancelled.

That stuff mounts out to nothing. Farmers are only just getting cancelled out there. You heard it here first. He's cancelling farmers, ladies and gentlemen. Hold my hand, hold my, hold my hand, my hand. I'll be right here my head. I'll be right in my head. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

It may surprise people to learn that I am bald. People probably picture me, I sound like a guy with a beautiful crop of hair. They imagine like some kind of surfy blonde locks, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ASL. Suncast. Yeah, ASL, 26, male, Mount Maunganui, you know? Like, maybe he's been on the tail end of a bottle of Sunsilk custom highlights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've certainly squeezed a bit of lemon and lime juice into my hair at the start of summer, hoping for some sort of like natural highlights. That's for sure. I'm out there, you know, hanging, hanging ten. But I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if that disappoints you. You don't need to

apologise. You're a beautiful bald, you're a beautiful bald brother. You, no. So anyway, you've got to shave your head when you're bald. And if you are like at the moment thinking that people are looking, like if I'm describing this baldness situation and you think people are looking at your bald spot, they are and it's time to shave your head.

Shave it right down. There's absolutely no shame in it. Get your shave on. Let's do this. So before we do have You Been Paying Attention, I always give my hair a fresh shave. The ladies in the makeup chair really appreciate it because it's easier to make up.

To make up. Yeah. Yeah, right. And just no one wants to look like an old professor. Mr. Burns. Yeah, Mr. Burns. Yes. Big Mr. Burns energy when your sides start growing in

but it's not growing on the top. Yeah. So last week, before having been paying attention, I had all my goodies in this little toiletries bag and it's a waste of time going home. So the one time of the week I forced myself to go to the gym is also when I shaved my head because then like, my wife's not going to tell me off for making a mess in the bathroom

because it's at the gym. And then I just grabbed the shower head and I just a mess in the bathroom because it's at the gym. And then I just grab the shower head and I just shower down the entire tiled area of the gym. Toilet, sink, everything. It just gives it a full wash. It's a great... You don't have removable heads. Yeah, it's got the head on the cord.

On the cord, on the hose. We have to put that in the customer feedback at Les Mills. What do you have? We just got fixed heads. Yuck! There's probably a reason why they don't put them in the customer feedback at Les Mills. What do you have? We just got fixed heads. Yuck! There's probably a reason why they don't put them in the women's bathroom to be fair. Hey, I've been to Les Mills. They're men as well.

Actually, I can see why you perverts aren't allowed a removable shower head. But us clean-cut conservatives who just get in there and shave our heads at the gym. What's your one? Anytime. Anytime. Fitness. 24 fitness.

Yeah, anytime fitness. 24-7 anytime. Yeah, big purple, but grimace energy on my gym. So when I went to shave my head, the bit that holds the handle to the head of the shaver on the the head of the shaver. On the actual head of the shaver, its little clips are broken.

So it wouldn't hold on. And I was like, oh, God. I'm already naked. Which when I was telling this story before, worked the producers. They were like, wait a minute. This is a story in itself. You shave your head naked. No, you've always got to shave naked or in your undies that you're going to put in the wash anyway.

In the wash anyway because of the drizzle and bits and pieces that fall off. It's a wet situation. It's the easiest to do. And I just do my outlines. I just do the beard and under the beard and around the ear. And then I just do the rest blind in the shower. Right. When you run your hand around and you feel for any gaps you've missed.

So now I've got this head and this handle that won't attach. I don't have a spare head. And you've got to go to TV. Yeah, I and this handle that won't attach. I don't have a spare head. And you've got to go to TV. Yeah, I've got to go to the TV. I've got to shave the head. So I'm like, what am I going to do? I had to pinch the head, like a finger and a thumb on the head with slippery shaving gel hands.

And I had to hold it like that and run it around my head. No, that's not good. And I was just constantly like, oh, I'm going to cut myself. I'm going to cut myself. I'm going to cut myself. I didn't. I didn't cut myself. It took ages.

Once you did come to, have you been paying attention, remember, and you had taken like, I'd say like a 10 cent piece gouge out of your head from shaving. Yeah, when you hit a bump, if it hits on the wrong angle, it digs in and you're in a hurry.

It just takes it all. Why didn't you, you know that they've got shavers upstairs for the boys, the wrong angle and it digs in and you're in a hurry, it just takes it all. You know that they've got shavers upstairs for the boys, the Simons and the like. I don't want Simon Dallow's pubes on my head, you know? What about Jeremy Wells' pubes? You'd have his pubes

on your head. Jeremy Wells has actually had laser hair removal of all body hair below the eyebrows. What about Hilary Barry's pubes? No comment, Your Honour. I'm assuming there's gender-specific razors. Or they might have a razor that hasn't been used by anyone.

Did you think about that? A freshie. No, but then I would have needed to get naked again at TVNZ to shave my head. I was already naked. It's only your head. No, but it all falls, doesn't it? And the head's the top. Gravity-wise, it's all just going to end up. And then you just jump in the shower and you rinse it all off. And you're as happy as Larry.

You've got to stop using these cheap Dollar Shave Club razors. They're not. They're rubbish. They're great. They're rubbish. They're great. No, no, no. They're very, very good.

They're rubbish. I've got one of those Quattro. I think they're up to five now, actually. What's a five? Cinco. A hydro Quattro something. Right. So you're using a chic now, actually. What's a five? Cinco. A hydro, quattro something. Right. So you're using a chic one that you can get at a supermarket

and you're calling me cheap. Interesting approach. It's an interesting approach. No, that's top of the line. It's top of the line. Too many blades. Serious question. Serious question.

Can you, if you are a bald man who still gets a bit of hair, can you laser your head? Yes. Oh, that would hurt like hell. You can, and it hurts like hell. And you know how when you get an area lasered, it can't see the sun for the entire time that you're doing the treatment? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the biggest anti-flip up. You're in a balaclava. Yeah. And you can't even go into the bank anymore. Actually, I saw someone wearing a balaclava in the supermarket the other day as a mask. That's not on, eh? I was like, you can't be wearing a balaclava in the supermarket the other day as a mask. That's not on, eh? I was like, you can't be wearing a mouth hole and like a one big eye hole

and he was pushing around a trolley. No. I was like, you can't. That doesn't count. It's the opposite of a mask. Yeah. It has a mouth hole. Well, he'd moved the mask up

so that it had covered his mouth. So he still looked like a burglar. He still looked like a burglar. He still looked like a burglar. Yeah, except you couldn't identify him by his teeth anymore. No, no. Right. It's an interesting approach. Yeah.

A very interesting approach. So on the back of this, what I would call actually, thinking about it now, an ingenious beauty solution. Okay. What has been your beauty emergency where you had to make something work? It could be, you know, hair removal. Yeah. It could be maybe you forgot.

I'm just going to shoot for the stars here. Maybe you forgot your eyeliner, so you used your lipstick as an eye shadow. I thought you were going to say vivid. Is that a thing? Vivid on the nails. I've used mascara as an all-round quick makeover. I had only mascara, and I put mascara on, and then I rubbed a little bit on my finger, and I used it as eyeliner, and then quick makeover. I had only mascara and I put mascara on and then I rubbed a little bit on my finger

and I used it as eyeliner and then I put a bit on my eyebrows. That's not bad. That's a good handy tip. I remember, is this too much? Yeah, he's still in the other room. The first time my fiance, he's going to make an honest woman of me,

so it's okay. The first time I followed him home, went back to his house, I was not prepared, so to speak. And so I remember popping into the bathroom and he was flatting with like a bunch of strangers and I used someone's razor to prepare myself. Downstairs? You just can't use any T, Dick or Harry's mower

to do the lawns. You've got to ask. You've got to use his mower to do your lawns. Yeah, but I didn't know well enough. I didn't know which one was his. Man, I don't... This is another chapter in the book. Fawnsmith does not miss flatting.

I hate flatting so much. All right, well, 0800DARLS.AM, give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. When have you made it work in the beauty department?

When did you just have to work out how to get it done? If I just had to make it work in the beauty department, you've come up with maybe an ingenious solution

you'd like to share. My razor clips that hold it to the handle broke, so I just had to hold the head of the razor and shave my head with it. Did you do an alright job? I did a bloody good job, actually. The ladies in the makeup chair were very impressed. Right, okay.

Yeah, not bad at all. So, some messages through. Somebody said, I was a broke solo mum for a long time. And then in brackets, they wrote, think poor and horny. Oh, okay.

Hello. Wow, okay. Hold on just a minute. Porny. Poor and horny. Here's poor. Yeah, porny. Okay, you're thinking.

Got it. Yep, got one person there. So I do my own Brazilians. Oh, yeah. That's kind of, you can get those kits to do them at home Yeah, you can, yeah Have you ever done that? Done your own?

No, you can't do your own I did my own when I was at uni And just to try it out I didn't know it was best to like trim the hair to a manageable sort of like length first Oh no, because otherwise it just ripped Like the hairs rip but don't come out Yeah, so that was me doing the, and I went, and it hurt me so much. I slipped backwards and fell, and I banged my head on the bath,

and, like, it was a whole situation. I think some people saw my balls. Nicole, good morning. When did you have to make it work beauty-wise? Good morning. So I did some waxing on my husband and used the hot wax, which is what you use for Brazilians. But I did the backwards region and I didn't check the temperature. You burnt his derriere, didn't you?

Just went right on in and it was too hot, so he clenched his bum teeth. Oh, no. And it stuck them together. So you couldn't even get the wax strip on to get it out? Well, it wasn't a strip. It was like that hard wax. Oh, you used the wax itself. How did you get his butt cheeks open?

Well, I literally nearly went my pants laughing. I was just in hysterics while he was like, what the hell? And so I just had to really slowly peel it away, which was just awful. But it was just so good in terms of entertainment for me.

Could you have sat in a hot bath? Would that have kind of melted it? There's no way. Like, you just can't get that stuff off the list. You need to get a hair dryer on it. But even then... No, you just have to rip. Yeah.

You just have to rip it off. The part that it melts in is insanely hot. Right. And then from that point on, did he just go and get it done professionally? No, like, so then I obviously, I got, like, this was before I got trained, and so I was just, like, practising, and then I got trained, so now I'm not too big. Oh, my gosh.

So you haven't glued any cheeks together since. Wow. Good stuff. Okay. I mean, there was a few pointers there that you hadn't been trained. I just got in there. I didn't check the Tim. I just got in there was a concerning phrase to hear.

All vital stuff. Nicole, thanks for your call. Sarah, when did you make it work beauty-wise? Hi, guys. So I'm currently pregnant, and I haven't had a chance to go and buy maternity clothes yet. And I've got this pair of jeggings. They're, like, my go-to that I wear to work most days.

And they fit in the leg, but around the waistband's got too tight. So I thought, what am I going to do? I, like, haven't had a chance to go shopping. So I've just snipped, likeipped the sides where my hips are, like on the waistband, zipped it down and zipped it in the front. And perfect. I'm wearing them today on my way to work.

What a little hair. You have to start cutting them. But what about after the birth? Now you've ruined your favourite pair of jeans. Yeah, I'll just have to go shopping and buy new clothes. Shopping's been the answer to all your problems. I wonder if I can do that with my jeans. You know, because I'm a bit of a yo-yo-er.

You might be able to. Yeah. Give it a go. I recommend it. And then take them to the alteration station if I lose weight. Just get an elastic band, put them in and have the buttons on the side so you can pull them tight and elasticate them. Maybe you need just to ditch the jeans fletching, just go full jeggings anyway.

Yeah, well, I wore track pants on Friday and I got mocked for it, didn't I? Did you wear track pants to work? Yeah. Have some respect. Yeah, it was very casual. It was very casual. And too rude. I was trying casual Friday.

Too rude for guys. Some messages in. I did my own Brazilian at home with Veet vanilla scented kit. And it was on and when it was resting on there, my dog came running in because it could smell the vanilla and started sniffing and trying to lick me. And I was trying to get away from it. So I got chased around the whole house by the dog that was trying to lick me endlessly. Ended up getting it off, but maybe it had been on there for a little bit long.

So on the run from the dog there. That Veet stuff's like Agent Orange isn't it That'll strip a forest that well I needed a haircut Couldn't get a booking before a do So I decided to give myself A go

With the sharper scissors we had That's never a good sign Because that doesn't say sharp scissors That just says the sharper scissors we had You needed mum's good scissors Mum's good scissors. Mum's, the sewing scissors? The sewing scissors.

Mum's good scissors. The sewing scissors. Anyway, don't give yourself a mullet after a few wines. I'll tell you that much because it took months and months to grow out. Oh, no. Yeah, don't do that. Don't try to make it work. Someone used their clean knickers as a mask. That's kind of making it work, eh?

They didn't have a mask. You're outside of that or you don't get to go into the supermarket. Yeah. Check your knickers on your face. Where are you going? Unless they're frilly, they've got holes. That's not... What if the only pair you've got are the ones on you?

Are you better to go in without a mask or without some undies on? Well, either way, people are going to look at you, aren't they? Either as an anti-masker or someone with your undies on your face. Yeah. You'll probably get a mention of the one-pan presser. Sure. Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Day, day, day, day, day. Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, for fact of the day, about two gentlemen who were arrested because of a scam they ran. Okay. To fulfil their fetish. They had a... What?

That was a... Sorry, sorry. You are on mic, Hayley. I will remind you. I'm at home, but I'm at work. Both a camera and a microphone. Yeah, you're comfortable in your own home, but it's definitely a thing.

I was talking to a friend of mine over the weekend who is currently engaging in adult fun times with someone who's quite into feet. Feet? Very into feet. This gentleman's very into feet. Okay. She's not on board 100% but can see

that he's having fun so I think it just likes that he's having fun. So she has fun because he's having fun. Well, plenty of people are. Hayley's on that website, aren't you? You're on that website. I've got a WikiFeet page. It's a little out of date, though. I'm going to post some more thirst traps, I reckon.

Yeah, some footy, some subtle footy thirst traps to get back on WikiFeet. I might do that today, actually. Yeah. Keep an eye out on my WikiFeet page. So this, there's been a short film made about this. Okay. It is called Hole in Their Souls.

Right. And this is about two men who became known as the Southport Stockmen who would go around bars and nightclubs and say, we are collecting for a charity that helps homeless people. Now, one of the biggest things is socks. We're taking cash donations, but also the whole idea of this is we're collecting 10,000 socks. So give us your socks now.

And we're in the club. Yeah, give us your socks. Off your feet. Yeah. This was in the late 90s. Give us your socks. And it's like this whole thing. Yep.

La-di-da. It's going to get attention because we're also collecting socks as well as cash. And we're going to give the socks away to people. Spoiler alert. They didn't give the socks away, did they? They weren't giving their socks away to any form of charity. What about the money? They just pocket the money as well.

They're just pocketing the money. They would take photos of people, like when you gave them their socks, you would hold your sock up and get a photo and they said it was going towards this charitable database. They would write their names and stuff on pictures and it turns out they were hoarding socks for their own gratification.

So they would be like, look at this person here's a sock. They'd look at the picture of the person with the sock. Oh wow. And in the 90s, when you say this was the 90s people wouldn't have been aware so much of like the internet and privacy as much, eh? No. And you'd think it was charity. You wouldn't even

think twice about it, would you? Yes. Because it's a weird, like, scams. Back then, you would have been like, money? No, that's a scam. But a sock. But a sock, yeah,

that's got to be charitable, right? I can give you my sock. So when the police finally raided the men's flat after a few suspicious people, they found 46 centimetre piles of socks throughout the house. So, rocket about half a metre. I don't know. I don't think that's a good measurement.

I think they've got to tell us how many socks. Yeah, I don't know how. That's not like... It looked like, according to one officer in the raid, an explosion in a sock factory and the socks were northwards of 10,000. So, they said there was over 10,000 socks. When they got you, when they

scammed you, did they take both your socks or just a single sock? Whatever sock you were happy to part with. But wearing one sock would be weird. You'd give them both socks if you were going to give them our sock, right? So wait, would they print out the photo and put them with the sock? Yeah. So they had, they would

they didn't always have a Polaroid camera. Yeah. But they would take the photo on their camera. Yeah. And then they'd get home from their night out, get the photos developed and be like, oh yes, this sock goes with this person. This is wild. They're holding the sock in their photo.

It's crazy. They were jailed. And guess what job they got in prison? The laundry. Correct. Oh, my God. Where they were again smuggling away prison socks to take them back to their cell. Because were they arrested for the money?

Or the socks? They were. It doesn't go too much into the investigation. No, they were arrested for taking people's property under false pretenses and the money and everything as well because they had never donated anything to charity, be it property that had been donated that they'd been collecting under the guise of charity,

sort of a fraudulent act to take the money. And so, yeah, when they got into prison, the job they got given when they were in prison was to do laundry where they started pinching more people's socks. Wow. Well, each to their own. Each to their own. Oh, yeah, we're not here to king shame.

Not here to king shame. No, no, no, no, no, no. But, but, but, false pretense. Yeah. We're not here to encourage fraud. No, absolutely not. In any facet. Yeah.

So today's fact of the day is two men were arrested for taking people's socks under the false pretense of donating them to charity. And then when they went to prison, their job was doing the laundry where they had exposure to a whole lot more socks. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do What's your preferred arguing technique? Quick round the room. I prefer a passive arguing and throwing it in their face at a later date. I prefer using my ability to tap into my emotions, a.k.a. crying, as a weapon to disarm any argument from going further. Okay. Right. Is that because you've had a theatrical training.

Sort of an emotional blackmail situation. You also had training, though, and you can cry on demand. I can cry on demand. And also we're really, both of us have had actor training, so we're really good at projecting and articulating as we argue to make sure that we're being heard. But has anyone ever done a fake cry and have you called each other out on that?

I don't know. Erin, have you ever done a fake cry in an argument? Nah. He's not as tuned in as I am. Yeah, right. Yeah. Right. Well, apparently arguing over chat,

which has always been sort of poo-pooed. Yeah. You misunderstood the context. You know, when I chat, you has always been sort of poo-pooed. Yeah. You misunderstood the context. You know, when you're on chat, you don't have all that. But for generations that grew up where they communicated on chat, arguing could also be like a good way. Arguing on a chat could be a good way to do it. So whether what it's in Messenger or WhatsApp or wherever you're chatting with your partner.

Yeah. You kind of get it off your chest. It's said. Yep. And then you just move on. It looks into it. It's a coward's way out. No, because it's the saying that some people really struggle to say to their partner, to their face,

exactly what they're feeling in that moment of an argument. Whereas when you don't have to look them in the eye, you can be a bit more brutally honest, which later on when you look them in the eye, you're probably going to be like, sorry, I didn't mean that, but you did mean that. Yeah. And they said it's not good for people who don't, this is why, is this why

boomers are so awful on internet comments? I mean, it's not just boomers. I'm saying boomers not as an age group, but boomers as an attitude. Like, they just say the most outrageous, there's one on the Seven Sharp Facebook page at the moment saying, you hardly hear the word family anymore.

I'm not in a far now. I'm in a family. Oh, my God. And it's just like, listen to yourself, you dumb bitch. Like, what's wrong with you? Yeah. That's the thing is because it's so cowardly. That's why I think it's like,

because you can write it and it's anonymous Like the keyboard warrior thing But they would never ever say that to someone's face No because they get punched in it Yeah And I think if you can't say it to the face You shouldn't say it at all I always wonder about that

Because there's the anonymous people You can tell it's a fake profile But then there's like these middle aged women Spouting this like insane hatred stuff. Yeah. Or closed-minded things with their like semi-open Facebook profile. Yeah. I know you just go and look at them.

Yeah. And then if they ever want to do anything, like apply for a job or anything, and someone just searches their name and, oh, it comes up their social media, give that a click, and they said, what? Yeah. Like, it's all there. But is this study saying that you should, like, you know, there are big arguments like cheating, for example.

You wouldn't have that over text. That's a face-to-face, surely. You can't stand to look at them right at that moment. Maybe they've got some good points. No, you take that one to the grave. You've got some good points you could mull over while reading the text. Yeah. But they said, yeah,

for people who have always communicated this way, the younger generations, it absolutely works to try to resolve issues in the same way, messaging. Yeah. But for older generations, it doesn't. It doesn't cut through as much. Maybe you use some italics

when you're being really sarky, though, so they know it's sarcastic. Yeah, italics is good for that. But then if it's in a chat and you can't change your font. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Italics are good for sarcasm. Like, uh, because that's the tone of it. Chuck it.

A tilled. So on the keyboard up beside the one, there's that squiggly thing. Oh, yeah. I've been trying to get this off the ground for a while now, the international sign of sarcasm. Like you press that and then you say something sarcastic. And it indicates to them

that the sentence following is sarcastic. Yeah, right. Yeah, I don't think this would be good for Aaron and I. We're not good at text communication. I was just trying to look through our text messages

to see how well we communicate. It's more just stuff like, can you get three bottles of Prosecco, isn't it? Yeah, I'm going to put the fridge on, trade me, call me, I've got COVID. So, yeah.

I'm celebrating our one-year Dungeons & Dragons anniversary game on Saturday night. Oh, I didn't send flowers. No, don't worry about flowers. Send healing potions. Oh my God. So many people have just tuned out. 2D4 plus 4.

Great. So we were playing our Dungeons & Dragons one year anniversary game and producer Jared runs the games and he was recording it, doing some practice. And well, I mean, we've got the audio right here. The shit truly hit the fan.

This is what went down. Imagine being on my end, where all of a sudden during halfway through this, he just disappears off the screen and you can just hear this chaos. He wants to try and pump fireballs at us. So there you go. There's a little bit of... Just knock him in the face. It's about to happen. Who's that?

We're good now, we're good. That sounds like a kitchen fire. Who's been... Because his mic's still going, right? We can still hear this. Listen. Jesus Christ. What's happened?

We'll cross live now to producer Jared, who was even very cagey when he came back about the details of this. It sounded like an explosion, and there was fire, and then right at the end you can hear Middy saying, Jesus Christ, obviously doing her prayers. Yeah, so mid-D&D game, the fire alarm goes off, and I glance up to my right, and our new wax melt burner, you know, the little tea light and it melts the wax.

I don't like those. I'm not a huge fan of those either. Screams fire disaster to me. Well, I'm pretty sure it's about to scream it right at Jared. Yeah, so I wasn't paying attention to it and the fire alarm goes off. I run over to have a look. The little tea light, the wax itself is on fire. So I'm like, ooh, shit.

What? I try to blow it out, which causes a fireball to erupt out the other side. So I'm freaking out at this point. I grab an oven mitt, pick up the flaming wax melt thing and just hiff it into the kitchen sink.

Yeah. And then in my head, I was like, make sure you don't turn the water on as I turned the water on, which exploded. Oh, my God. Jesus. Yeah.

And managed to put that fire out. I feel like you did everything wrong there, Jared. Yeah, in a big way. I don't know what I should have done instead, but water on oil. Are you dousing it in salt? Salt? Who's got salt on hand to be extinguishing a huge flame? A huge flame?

It was a tea light candle. I think we need to calm down about the situation. But it wasn't like the wick wasn't on fire. The entire wax inside the candle was. And then he blew that and everything that that wax went on was also then on fire. Then you tip it into the sink where went on was also then on fire. On fire, right. Then you tip it into the sink where the fire catches the oil on fire.

Yeah. And then you chank the water on that and we all know that's a terrible idea. Yeah, that's a bad idea. Terrible idea. Yeah. Did you, you've just moved into this new flat of yours. Yeah, new flat. Did you cause any long-term damage to the house that's not yours? No.

Thankfully there's no like smoke stains or nothing actually got set on fire, which is pretty cool. God, how much did it disrupt that game that sounded like it was an absolute blast? Oh, didn't that sound fun? Didn't that sound so much fun? Do you know what I didn't notice about it at the time? The irony is the fireball that my mate Johnny's

talking about at the start of that game, unrelated to the fireball that Jared just blew in his lounge. He cursed you. Guys, it's an absolute hoot playing a game of D&D. The energy in that game before that moment. It's such a shame. There was a moment of deliberation before we went through a door. Yeah, no, it was good.

It was high energy, good fun, and an air house fire. What more can you ask for on a raving Saturday night? So what happened afterwards? You came back to the game. What more can you ask for on a raving Saturday night? So what happened afterwards? You came back to the game. What do you want, the full rundown on what we... Yeah, we can break it down. We can run down the big box. Don't encourage them, Hayley.

Don't encourage them. I'm cutting it off now. Yep, cut them off. Cut the mic off. This is absolutely horrible that a Dungeons & Dragons break has snuck through. It's not happening again. Yeah, framed as some kind of fire disaster. Before the end of the week,

I will sneak in another Dungeons & Dragons story. People don't want it. You've got the power, Fletch. End this. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10

and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do.

Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.